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#but none of these ideas ever pan out past ''that would be fun'' & I'm not gonna force anything
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What's an AU you've wanted to write but aren't necessarily sure about?
I have 2 AUs I'm kind of obsessed with & would love to do something with, but I just am not sure I ever will.
One is an AU of my current fic, & it's setup/summary is as follows: Daemon either didn't do or didn't get caught doing the Heir For A Day Thing & so Vizzy dragged his feet naming an heir, forcing the Royces to stay in King’s Landing because of the weird "Who Is Heir?" limbo. Ella, knowing her brother doesn't like their uncle, volunteers to go comfort him instead of Yorick, & Vizzy winds up perving on her instead of Alicent. Daemon & Rhea then kill Viserys in retaliation, & this working together on something for once has them...maybe not reconcile fully, but at least be able to put up with each other enough that they make The Forbidden Fourth Roycegaryen Sibling it becomes everyone else's problem as The Dance happens about 20 years earlier due to Otto absconding with Rhaenyra (who he plans to have marry Gwayne), to put her on the throne over Daemon.
The other is a BG3 AU of one of the pairings for my main fic that I outlined here.
I've written what is, essentially, the full opening (or at least one of the) chapter(s) of the first one [here], but this particular fic would take so much plotting & going off the rails that I honestly just don't want to tackle atm. Maybe one day, but tbh even if it gets fully outlined I'm not sure if I'd ever write it. Something about Sins Of The Father just feels very, "the main fic definitely needs to get shared, but the AUs are just for fun & don't necessarily need to be out there because it's not about them." I mean, I could very well change my mind, but honestly once I (eventually) finish SOTF, my next planned fic is gonna need lots of brain power & outlining, & I'd rather expend that full thought process with a whole new cast (at least mostly. My version of House Strong is gonna get reused because I don't want to reinvent the wheel there)
As for the BG3 AU, I'm just not as confident with the DND lore as I am ASOIAF's. I've never actually played in an official setting, & I require intimate knowledge & confidence that borders on hubris to feel like actually writing a fic.
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aria-ashryver · 6 months
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WIP Wednesday!
(yes, on a Saturday. Shh. It's fine.)
Thank you so much for the tags @stars-are-within-me @aallotarenunelma @peonierose !! This is was a lot of fun! 💖
Here's a ✨far too lengthy✨ look at some things I'm working on at the moment, because brevity? Don't know her!
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Immortal Desires: Starlight, Chapter 38
‘I don’t ever want to fight with you again,’ Gabriel said on an explosive exhale, agony shaking loose from his lungs to lift free into the stale air. ‘I had no idea how much it would ache, not being by your side. Now that I know exactly what I’m missing. Never again.’
‘That shit sucked, yeah,’ Cas agreed, turning his head to press an idle kiss to Gabriel’s temple. ‘But, like… never? I dunno — that’s most of my schedule for the week. I had light bickering pencilled in for Thursday right after lunch, I’d hate to reschedule at such short notice. And then “fundamental disagreements about toast”, that’s locked in for Friday morning, after I bring you breakfast in bed…’
Cas shook his head ruefully.
‘Yeah, I just don’t see how I can get out of that one. Sorry, Adalhard.’
Gabriel sighed, a warm thread of laughter trickling down his throat to settle behind his ribcage. He nuzzled his cheek in closer —somehow— smiling against Cas’s skin.
‘Oh, you’re right,’ Gabriel said. ‘That would throw us right off for “squabble about whether to watch Blades or Bloodbound” on Friday night, god. We can’t miss that again.’
‘I’m sorry, Adalhard,’ Cas repeated.
His voice was insistent, tight with feeling; blinking, Gabriel looked up to see a muscle flickering in Cas’s jaw, his eyes bright and glassy.
‘I’m sorry, Gabriel.’
Immortal Desires: Into the Witch-Dark, Chapter 1
‘That was terrible. Again.’
Morag snapped her fingers; a sharp crack that echoed and warped in on itself, folding within the edges of space and time as they stole along an inky shore of black twilight. A sea of gold stars washed over Luca’s skin, turning it dazzling in this far-away, nothing space.
‘I’m trying,’ Luca gritted out, waiting to catch their breath where there was none to catch. A curious emptiness ached in the place where their lungs should be — here, he was little more than light, and choice, and reason.
His great aunt stared down at him, unimpressed. Where Luca would have met her gaze, he saw nothing but two burning, searing holes, the vacant glare behind them hungry for knowledge.
Funny that a ten foot light-being in a vaguely humanoid shape could still look so, so deeply unimpressed.
‘We have a handful of weeks, a month, at best, to get to the bottom of this. We don’t have time for “trying”. Succeed or die. Those are our choices.’
Luca scoffed. ‘Yeah, no pressure.’
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Blades of Light and Shadow: Dorian (MC) x Aerin Fluff
After last night’s dismal attempt at putting together a meal —when Willow had politely but firmly told him that what he had created was an affront to nature and gently escorted him away from the cooking area— he’d woken this morning determined to redeem himself.
In the cooking department, at least.
Like his other attempts at redeeming himself, it wasn’t exactly going great.
‘I am nothing if not consistent,’ Aerin said to no one in particular as he watched a spray of oil spit and leap from the sizzling pan. He yelped as it landed in the flames, the fire leaping up in an orange-red column of flame.
‘Woah, there, let me just—’
A large, calloused hand reached past his waist to grab the pan by the handle, adjusting it on the cooking stand until it was no longer in danger of setting itself, Aerin, and the entire Whimsywood aflame.
‘Okay, first we save breakfast, then we save Morella.’ Dorian fixed Aerin with a grin. ‘Move it.’
Bumping him out of the way with his hip, Dorian took over at the helm.
‘I had everything perfectly under control,’ Aerin lied.
Blades of Light and Shadow: Dorian (MC) x Nia angst
He’d knelt before her to tug out her old, ragged laces, grinning up at her as she’d wobbled on one foot, balancing her hands on his shoulders. He re-laced her boots with swift, deft movements, stealing half a moment to lay his hand over her own when he was done and give it a quick squeeze.
‘Wouldn’t want you to trip and fall in front of the dwarves of Zaradun, now, would we?’
His palm was broad and calloused, warm where it lay over her own. It was the first time he’d touched her in nineteen days. Since he’d healed her by the lake in the Whimsywood. She’d counted. She ached for him. All too soon, Dorian drew is hand away and rose, tossing her a carefree wink as he sauntered off.
His smile didn’t reach his eyes.
It never did, these days.
Blades of Light and Shadow: Dorian (MC) x Aerin angst + smut
[A/N: no smut in the excerpt but there is a smooch 🥰]
Aerin worried his lip. ‘I wanted… I wanted to believe it was real,’ he admitted. ‘That even despite all I’ve done, there might somehow be a way. That you could truly—’
‘Love you?’ Dorian cut him off, his gaze insistent. The night air lashed wildly around them, branches whipping in their trees. Though it was cold, Aerin’s skin seared beneath Dorian’s hands. ‘I do.’
Aerin blinked. ‘W-what?’
Frozen, Aerin could only watch in quiet bewilderment as Dorian lowered his head to meet him. He caught Aerin’s lip between his teeth, biting down on a snarl, kissing him with a fervour that bordered on punishing. A needy moan escaped Aerin’s throat as he opened to him, their tongues meeting in a heated glide that had Aerin grateful for the tree at his back, lest he lose his footing entirely.
They broke apart on a shuddering gasp. Heat flooded into Aerin’s cheeks.
‘Does this feel real to you?’ Dorian growled.
For a long time, they simply looked at each other. Dorian’s gaze bore into his own, and all at once, Aerin understood he wasn’t looking, he was seeing— Dorian saw to the very heart of him; all his bitterness; all his lies; his hate and pain and open scars and chose to love him anyway.
‘Say it,’ Aerin choked out, his voice a colourless whisper, the weight of the revelation so immense that it had all but rendered him mute.
Dorian tilted his head, his eyes raking slow over Aerin’s face; eyes, nose, lips, back again in tender passes.
Aerin wasn’t breathing.
‘I need to hear you say it.’
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Tagging @lovehugsandcandy @nukritus and @dreamscapingsblog (and anyone else who feels like it!) in case you want to share anything you've been working on lately! I'd love to see what y'all are up to!
(no pressure of course, feel free to ignore this) 🤗🌸
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Fun story: I share many opinions with the most loquacious Izzy stans, but find it interesting that their immediate response to a conflicting opinion is often to berate others for “not understanding the text”, as if every opinion they put out is the unvarnished truth, uncoloured by their own biases. And yet I’ve seen a surprising amount of hand-wringing over the idea that the toe scene has any comedic framing whatsoever, even as the idea that it’s a sexual assault metaphor is treated as gospel.
Anonymous asked: Including fans who fall in camp “your taste in fiction doesn’t dictate the way you perceive real people” making bombastic claims that seeing anything funny about the framing of the scene means you need to reflect on your ability to experience empathy for other humans. I feel empathy for Izzy. I also am capable of perceiving a dark comedy joke when a screenwriter shoves it in my face.
Anonymous asked: Geraldo is executed for laughs. There’s a joke about Roach torturing the hostages. Buttons and Roach try to eat the Swede alive for comedy. Edward’s transformation is played tongue-in-cheek with “What happened to your face?” immediately followed by a blow which would give Jim a severe concussion if they didn’t live in comedy land. Why in this one scene is everyone else “misinterpreting the text”?
I'm assuming all three of these are the same anon having the same thought over 3 different asks. Yeah this fucking reading (the sexual assault one) of the toe scene is so pearl clutchy and dumb imo. As someone who has been sexually assaulted I don't know where they came up with it. Sure it's shot like a sex scene, with the lighting and the closeups and the pans and it is in the very literal sense physical assault, but that's where that comparison stops. Like my interpretation of the toes is that Izzy is super into it and Ed super isn't, that Ed would have been justified in killing Izzy after what happened and what was said, that it's indicative of Ed returning to a way he doesn't want to be anymore in order to placate Izzy which they set up during the beach conversation when Ed listed toe feeding as one of the things he didn't want to do anymore, and that it is a funny joke because Ed got told to watch his step and said "you know what, actually I will feed another man his toes, just this once." Three of those interpretations are supported by the text and the last one is supported by the genre and none of them contradict each other but all of them are contradicted by the SA toe reading, something which doesn't have evidence.
The sexual coding of this scene is meant to do one of two things and I cant tell which one it is but it could be both. The first one is "omg Izzy's into this", that's well trodden territory. The second one it might be is an interpretation I haven't seen before but one I just realized. This whole time Izzy and Ed have been toxic failing marriage coded, and when Ed gives in and becomes who Izzy wants him to be it's shot like a sex scene. It could be that it's shot like that because subtextually he's going back to Izzy and trying to rekindle whatever their relationship was in the past. It could be either of those things but it's super not supposed to make you think "he's being raped." And if that was the intent that would actually be super fucking gross for multiple reasons, the two major ones being Ed is the fucking love interest and I don't want to root for someone who does that, and two being that Ed's doing this for Izzy, he's doing it to convince Izzy that Blackbeard's back and Blackbeard wouldn't just stand idly by when his subordinate made threats like that so he has to do fucking something. You get how it would be disgusting for SA to ever be something that would look justified. Like I've made proofs before about toes and to be clear the toe move can be justified. There's other reasons it would be very disgusting if this was meant to be an SA metaphor, but those are the main ones.
Additionally everything you said in the third part of this message is absolutely correct. The world of the toe scene (and the marooning and Lucius going overboard) is the world in which Lucius got stuffed in a box for what I have to assume to be multiple days and Roach jumped off the yard and ate shit and was just fine in the next scene and Jackie murders her husband and then has a drink right next to his corpse and I feel like people forget that somehow. Our Flag cannot condemn murder because they're fucking pirates so they have to make it funny.
As for having Empathy for Izzy, I have empathy for Izzy. One of my toxic traits is that I will forgive a queer anything. I will immediately assume the best of every queer I meet and I will extend them grace until I'm at my fucking limit. Ill apologize for calico jack ffs. But my limit was the British Navy girl. I was with his ass right up until he marched those assholes into Jackie's bar. I was never rooting for him granted but I was like awe it must be so hard when he doesn't love you back even if you are a douchebag it still sucks. And then he called the fuzz and I was like oh hell no. And if Izzy realized that he was wrong and took time away from Blackbeard to become better I would be rooting for him then too. But people talk about him like he's book 3 Zuko when there frankly hasn't been any inkling of a redemption arc so far.
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oncetherenowhere · 4 months
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This week's been another shit show. Every week has been a shit show. I woke up at 3am, couldn't sleep, and had the realization that, for the past four months, every single week has brought me a new scrap of bad news. People dying. People getting sick. Friends leaving. Family drama, revelations. Crisis, crisis, crisis! And...really none of it has been my fault. It's just life. Bad luck of the draw.
Still. No wonder I've been having the worst few months of my life. Every single week has been a jack-in-the-box of bullshit. This week's bullshit? Revelations about my job that have tarnished it for me. I'm looking for new work. Not quitting until I get a new job...I need money. All the fulfillment and satisfaction I felt in my position has left.
I feel completely trapped in my everyday life. H thinks I should consider starting a new career, but how? Baking is the only thing I'm good at. I'm a damn good baker. My job was, like...the thing I clung to. I don't even want to say what happened, because it's complicated, but I just don't think I can do it again.
I love baking, but the environment of professional kitchens...I can't handle them anymore. I used to be able to. People say you get used to things as you get older, but the opposite seems to be true for me. I feel more sensitive than ever. I feel raw, like anything that even slightly touches me will sting. I can't put up with raised voices anymore.
H tells me to show myself kindness. I was in a heap yesterday, and he was so sweet to me. I think he's right, about the career thing. Baking feels like the only thing I'm good at, but once upon a time, I wanted to do so much...I had such big dreams. I settled into baking because I'm good at it, and I like making people happy. When I bake for people and see their reactions, it fills my heart with joy. So, I thought, hey, why not make this my career? Nothing else has panned out for me, and I seem to work best in the service of others.
H went to school for computer science. He landed a great job that he feels fine about. It isn't his passion, but he likes what he does, and it gives him enough space to work on his actual passion projects in the meantime. You should see the things this man makes...his MIND, I swear to you, it's AMAZING. He's got this amazing mixture of creativity and practicality...he breathes life into the worlds he creates. It's one of the things I first loved about him, back when we were both eighteen. He told me stories that I thought were already published, they were so good and well-rounded.
I used to be a writer. It used to be my dream. When I was a kid, I wrote every single day. I filled notebooks with stories, world building, characters...my dream was to draw comics. Remember how I wrote about how I was being bullied? I left a notebook on my desk one day by accident. My bullies read it, and humiliated me. Even the teachers made fun of me. They tore out pages from it, and the teacher there at the time threw the rest out in the trash.
I still wrote, but only in secret. Only at home, and even then, I was careful, because my parents went through my things. I went through insane measures to hide everything. At some point, it became exhausting.
A few years ago, I started writing again...but I never show anything to anyone. Except H. Sometimes.
I still have this stupid dream of making comics. I've written out scripts, ideas, plots...my art skills aren't great. I used to practice.
I've thought about getting back into it. For real. Drawing every day. Practicing anatomy, perspective, shading. I just get so sad. I imagine hoards of people tearing my work to shreds.
I know, I know. I know how this sounds. Trust me, I've viewed these feelings from more angles than I'm writing down.
I just...need something.
I might do what H did. Get my certificate in something that lets me work remote...dedicate myself to my hobbies in my free time. It would take a while to accomplish, but the time will pass anyways, right? I just don't think what I'm doing is sustainable. I keep being scared I'm too old, but I'm only 27. That's so young, in the grand scheme of things. That's what my step-dad told me a while back.
"You feel like you're spinning your wheels in the mud, don't you?" He said to me. "I felt the same way at your age. Hell, I felt the same way in my 30s. You just gotta keep at it."
It's pretty encouraging. Comforting, I guess.
Fuck. It feels so good to write here. I have nobody else to talk to. I've got H, obviously, but it isn't healthy to dump everything on your spouse constantly. I've got a therapist, who...I'm still getting comfortable with. I've got my mom, now, too...she figured out something was wrong when I went silent again. I'm glad she reached out. The two of us used to have a pretty bad relationship, but she came a long way in my 20s, and put in a lot of work to repair things. I respect that. I appreciate it. There were so many times in my teen years and early 20s when I needed her...it's nice to have her now.
Hey, that's three people! Three people, and this blog. Maybe it isn't so bad. Ugh. I think it'll all be okay. I've just got a lot of big feelings.
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moralesispunk · 3 years
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Old Guys Rule
Frankie Morales x Female Reader
Summary: With a birthday coming up, Frankie's insecurities about the age gap in your relationship start to get the better of him
Warnings: legal age gap relationship, insecurities about said age gap, mentions of children but no mentions of how they came to be in the relationship
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I found this hat in a shop in Cornwall and I had to write this!
"Are you wanting to do anything on your birthday? I was thinking about booking a table down at that Italians you like and asking your Mom to watch the girls but if you have plans with the guys I can find a different day?" you looked over your shoulder at Frankie from where you had been scrolling through the booking page of the restaurant.
"Hmm? No, dinner sounds fine," Frankie answered, his head not lifting up from his phone as his face stayed firmly unbothered.
"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to..." you trailed off as you turned back to the laptop that was resting on the kitchen counter, not convinced by Frankie's response.
"What?" you could tell that his head had whipped up to look at yours now you had turned around, "No, dinner sounds good, yes. Thank you."
You didn't answer, instead scrolling up and down on the page for a minute as you tried not to take his response too personally. It had been a while since you and Frankie were able to go out for dinner just the two of you, finding it more difficult to get some alone time since the new baby came along and you now had the two girls, so you thought he would like the idea of a romantic dinner alone.
You could hear Frankie's footsteps pad across the kitchen floor until he was leaning against the counter next to you. Avoiding his gaze as he crossed his arms over his chest, mimicking the way his ankles were now crossed over one another, you filled in the booking information before closing the laptop. Without looking at him you turned in the chair to stand but Frankie's hand fell on your wrist stopping you.
"Hey," his voice was soft, "I do want to go out for dinner with you and thank you for booking the place that I like, I just-." Frankie sighed and let you wrist go before dragging his hand down his face as he let his eyes drop to the floor, "I'm just not looking forward to this birthday. I'm in my late forties now!"
"I think you're still mid-forties."
"So much better," he rolled his eyes.
"So you're not looking forward to your birthday because... you're going to be a year older? Forty-six years and thats you just realising how birthdays work?"
"It's not funny."
"I'm not laughing, I'm wondering why that's upsetting you. Whether or not you're looking forward to it you can't stop it."
"You'll make fun of me if I tell you why," his foot was swinging out in front of him before crossing it back over the other again.
"Maybe, but we've been married for six years so I think I'm allowed to make fun of you."
A smile was tugging at the corner of Frankie's lips when he finally looked up to you, his head leaning slightly to the side as he met your eyes. Frankie loved everything about you but he especially loved how relaxed you made him feel. Even though he wasn't in a good mood when you started talking birthday plans, instead of giving in to it you pulled him back from it. You had done it ever since you met him. Frankie could tell you, and has told you, his deepest, darkest secrets and fears and you don't shy away. You don't pull him further into the darkness; you just listen and make him feel comfortable until you help him out the other side.
"I know there isn't a bigger gap between us now that there had been when we first started dating because thats not possible but it just feels bigger now? Like, you're still able to keep up with Sofia when she runs rings around us even after you've been up all night with the baby. You don't have to hold the menu back to read it more clearly when we got out for dinner. You don't have to think about having a sore back for a week if we fall asleep on the couch when watching a movie. You don't even fall asleep when watching movies at eight at night but somehow I do!"
You let his breathing settle a little before you pulled him to stand between your legs, resting your hands on his chest.
"Is it about all these small things or is there something bigger to it?"
You tilted your head to catch his gaze as Frankie's eyes fell to the floor again, stopping him with two fingers under his chin and lifting his eyes to meet yours.
"I just worry that you don't want to be with an old guy like me," he sighed, his hands resting on your thighs.
"I'll have you know that I love that your an old guy. I fall more in love with you every day as you get older. I love that you run around enough with Sofia until you're tired because you don't want to stop. I think you're cute when you have to squint at the menu because you're too stubborn to get glasses, even though I think you would look very handsome in them. And I like giving you back massages when it gets sore because its just an excuse to get my hands on your very sexy, super hot, handsome DILF self."
Frankie barked a laugh, his forehead falling against yours as his hands reached up to cup your face.
"I love you so much, you know that."
"I do, and I love you."
His lips found yours, pressing a soft kiss to them. Just as his mouth opened to push his tongue into yours the sound of tiny footsteps running into the kitchen pulled you both away.
"Mama, Papa!" the voice cheered as Frankie leaned down to swing Sofia up, groaning as he did so.
None of what you had said to Frankie was a lie. You truly did love him more and more every day.
As time went on it had been kind to Frankie. He had fought off his demons for the most part, nightmares only sneaking in every so often, and it showed. He carried a lightness with him, not being weighed down by his past anymore. His eyes crinkle at the side when he smiles, which he does more now than ever. His face has filled out a little more in a healthy way. His jaw is also covered in a patchy beard that now has spots of grey that you love the most even if Frankie doesn't believe you.
❀❀❀
You let Frankie lie in on the morning of his birthday, getting the girls up and ready so you could have a lazy breakfast together before you dropped them at their Gran's while you and Frankie go out for dinner. After sorting out a breakfast, having to start again after Sofia wanted to help and ended up spilling the batter over the countertop instead of in the pan, you carried it upstairs with the girls in tow.
Frankie was already waking up as you opened the door, his face lighting up with a wide grin when he spotted you balancing the baby in one arm and carefully carrying the tray in the other as Sofia carried bags of birthday presents.
"Happy birthday," you and Sofia chimed with a small gurgle coming from your side.
"My beautiful girls, thank you!"
Frankie lifted Sofia onto the bed with the presents, settling her into his side, before taking the tray of pancakes from your hands. Once it was safe on his lap he lifted his head, catching your lips in a kiss, before you sat across from him.
You managed to get through breakfast before Sofia had spoke about opening the presents again and once the tray was placed on the bedside table you got to opening the gifts. With baby girl back asleep and placed on Frankie's chest, Sofia pulled the paper off them more so than Frankie, handing him the opened presents as he thanked you all. Once all the presents that were on the bed were opened you leaned across and pulled another from your bedside.
"One more," you smiled knowingly and Frankie narrowed his eyes at you as you handed him the small bag.
He snaked his arm from around Sofia, holding baby girl close to his chest as he put his hand inside the bag and pulled out a hat.
"Oh a new hat, thanks babe I love-" he stopped when he read the front, looking at you with a grin on his face.
"What does it say?!" Sofia asked, pushing her head in front of her Dad's to see the cap he was holding.
"It says Old Guys Rule!" you exclaimed.
"Because Dad is old," Sofia flung her head back in a fake laugh that bellowed around the room.
"Is that right?" Frankie tickled her sides until she was giggling for real and her head was lying next to her sleeping sister's on Frankie's chest.
"Dad is old, but he's still cool isn't he?" you reached across and pulled Sofia onto your lap as she nodded.
"How does it look?" Frankie pulled it onto his head, a little wonky as he was only working with one hand with the other resting on the tiny body on his chest.
You and Sofia both put your thumbs up and you laughed.
"Four out of four thumbs up!"
"Thanks babe," he chuckled, lifting his hand to settle the cap a little tighter on his head.
"You're welcome, you look even more handsome today. Forty-six suits you," you winked and he smiled.
Yes, Frankie was getting older but he was becoming happier and healthier and you were falling more in love with him every single day.
//
Permanent tag// @phoenixhalliwell @asta-lily @hb8301 @princess76179 @sarahjkl82-blog @spideysimpossiblegirl @blackmarketmummy @bison-writes @dihra-vesa @queridopascal @sfr99 @rosiefridayrogersunday
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beann-e · 3 years
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um wow , idk what to say i’m a bit flustered but i hope i say it right. I was only gone for a couple of days and this is what I come back to. 😮 Tysm guys I love you all thank you for taking the time out of your scrolls to even follow me >:’) So, I decided to follow through on my haikyu x police force idea and here it is a sneak peek! I hope you enjoy !
May 1 , 2021
-recording take one
" I am under oath to tell you that everything being said here today will be used to further the investigation against yourself. That being said If you choose to answer a question or provide a statement I will have no choice but to write it down to be processed and turned into someone of higher authority than me is that clear "
" i'd say that's a bit — well stupid to me saying yes when your the highest fish on the food chain no? "
" what else can I say except lucky you that everything you say won't be passed around and relayed much less having your words twisted by those listening "
" cute "
" i'd say same goes to you if you weren't chained up in front of me right now — I might've just asked you out on a date "
" i'm free friday at 10 — though it's in the morning so I pose the question— Would you like to sneak me from my court case baby I promise i’ll make it up to you "
" mm i'll think about it seeing as though i'm the one escorting you to your new cell anyways we might just have to have a uh a talk inside hmm"
" what no balls ? "
" sadly none —or at least physically seeing as though i'm a woman "
" I never would've guessed if it wasn't for the way that suit hugs your curves — your pretty full out huh you must be fun "
" i've gotten that before though people tend to say i’m a bit more fun elsewhere "
" aw you wound me you didn’t tell me I had competition babe “
" of course not your first in line in my eyes, it sucks that the ring on my finger says differently though "
" isn't that sweet I might just have to take you up on your offer "
" oh? didn't think you'd be so excited ,much less interested on being the first one on my list to be put in jail but, I guess i'll try my best to speed your trial up for you if that's what you want "
The rooms silence was heavy as the camera panned the room. Your fingers silently being clawed into the table as it drained all your anger from you.
Your shoe tapping against the floor with a slight grimace appearing on your face when you heard the buttons on the camera in front of you being pressed.
" what no slick comment ? " A heartfelt laugh moved to fill the once silent room as you watched small hands wrap around the camera and fix it to where it showed nothing but your upset face—fingertips slamming down one by one on the table
" don't you have a fucking job to do glasses "
" aw what happened no more flirty y/n ? "
"your an asshole— I don’t know why I expected much in the first place seeing as though you were trained under him "
" such a foul mouth — you do know this is going on your transcripts right ? " the eyes in front of you narrowing on you the voice only coming out in mock care for your situation " you wouldn't want the jury — much less the judge reading this when their deciding your sentence right ? "
Your fingers glided over the table and into a fist in front of you as your head went to look down at the table
" you've grown submissive so fast "
" I find it hard to believe you don't like that kind of thing fucking pervert "
" aw you wound me — but if I had to supply you with an answer to your question— I can imagine your dying to know since you've been flirting with a married woman this whole time "
" married? "
" I know your observant y/n you have to be " the next words making you breathe heavily " I mean the way you noticed your s/o was cheating before they could even notice themselves is just wow"
The click of the door being heard as a deep voice made its way in the room " Kiyoko your not allowed in here "
" I have just as much right to be in here as anyone else — "
" but I could’ve sworn I just said you don't — so again why the hell are you in here ? "
The room turning cold with the woman in front of you straightening herself up not wanting to go back and forth with the male in front of her but, at the same time not wanting to come across as small, being seen as a woman down here was hard much less having your own husband be relatively close to the one in charge " I came down here to test out inmate 4890 psyche"
" did anyone give you that kind of permission? that kind of clearance ? to even get down here in the first place ? "
" I mean their hidden underground so i'd say their the main event down here "
" you can't just come down here to see it whenever you see fit "
" but I was interested in the way it's mind works "
" what the hell am I an attraction at sea world? "
" your whatever the fuck I want you to be " your once strong eyes were met with brown ones that held your gaze almost testing you— daring you.
You seeing the hate swirl with annoyance meeting to radiate off of him. His face made up in a snarl as he finally turned his whole body to you.
Arms crossed across his chest eyes now lazily focused on you causing a chill to move through your spine. Youd never wanted to grow submissive to anyone and you never had not in all your years of living so why were you now?
Kiyokos eyes moving from between you to the male in front of her and back. Her body already telling you she knew something was off by the way you'd just been playful with her until you felt the energy shift by someone elses approach showing how easily your personality could changed.
Something was off and she was interested
" if necessary I can always stay and play mediato— "
" your ok " he smiled widely " we're fine together — down here "
your body shifted in the seat wrists being pulled back and down to the table by the chain in front of you when you heard his claim.
" y/n ' s good with that — their fine ive known them a long time I can speak for them — we’ve done this before countless times this isn't their first crime maybe one of this stature yes but "
" mhmm " the woman in front of you shook her head lightly before leaving the room your heart clenching tightly when you heard the door click closed
" I just wanna do my job and then i'll get out ok y/n " the fake sympathy in his voice shining through as he put down his clipboard on the table before standing behind the chair at the table across from you
" god " his voice was heavy as he spoke " it's like you get hotter and hotter everytime we see each other " his body moving around the small rectangular table " it's such a shame "
Your body tensing when you felt him nearing you only to keep going past you.
Body letting out a breath you didn't even know you were holding only to restore another one when you heard the click of the camera turning off and powering down.
Your eyes darting around the room to watch him out of the corner of them reaching up to turn off the corner camera that showed the police force what was happening in the room
Not that they would care seeing as though he was chief he could do anything he wanted to you and not have to tell anyone in his unit. It didn't help that you were a world renowned criminal now you'd fully fucked this up for yourself
" crazy how your fucked yourself over " his words only confirming the thought in your head " you were only into petty crimes before so I could barely get my hands on you i'd always have to pass you over to everyone else because no one of my status ever needed to intervene — though I would've loved to— just to feel the way your face would drop anytime I entered the room or to even feel the shift in your attitude like I felt earlier— holy fuck is that powerful and now look at you "
He laughed at your body that sat slumped in your chair trying to cover your face with the cuffs on the table " pathetically sitting in a room bawling your eyes out in front of me "
His words only feeling closer now as his breath hit your ear.
Heat from his mouth moving to your neck instantly causing you to scoot away only for him to grab the back of your neck " have you no respect for yourself "
You gritted your teeth together at his hold on you " I said have you no respect for yourself "
You bit at your lip trying to decide what to say you always wanted to spit a comeback at the male but right now was definitely not the time with his heavy hand on your neck moving slowly into your hair to grip tighter
"ah every single time we do this — it's almost even more pathetic than the droplets I keep seeing falling and landing on my perfect fucking table that I bought with company’s money— fuck their gonna cut my paycheck "
His hand tightening as he spoke again " one more time asshole " his voice held all the rudeness to it " have you no respect for yourself "
" y-"
The action was quick as he slammed your head hard into the table in front of you. your vision blurring before he sighed blood dripping from your forehead and leaking out of your nose onto your lips as it trembled slightly
" ugh I hate when this happens with you —- you always bleed so fucking easily " he huffed " I ask you something you answer learn something about respect for once in your life and maybe you'll take better care of yourself "
He scoffed " your so fucking pretty and yet you do things like this — you slut yourself out in my business and then turn around and get arrested god your such a fucking ditz "
your head being brought to meet the table once again as you whimpered tears mixing with your blood brain muddied and shut down by his actions
" i'm so tired — so so tired of sweeping everything you do under the rug— I mean you act like I can’t fucking see you y/n i run the whole fucking thing I don’t— I don’t understand you your just fucking stupid so so so stupid it just blinds me and throws me for a loop sometimes "
His voice was low almost as if he only wanted you to feel the weight of his words " and then you never even say fucking sorry " he pushed your head down again " i'm the fucking cleanup crew ,, the shitty bodyguard when you drag yourself in some mess ,, the contact list when you need a plug ,, the boss when you need a job i'm fucking tired y/n "
" I know I know and i'm— im so sorry really please i'm sorry "
you braced yourself for another push as he backed away the heavy hand leaving your neck as he peered down at your head that was still hovering over the table
" what the fuck do you want another bash ?What are you doing "
" no — no please no”
" then bring your head up — god you seriously take your role on as the youngest dont you " he sighed as he moved his hands to pinch at the bridge of his nose. Your eyes darting to the camera kiyoko left and feeling hope enter your body thinking of how she would see the whole scene that’s played out with the male in front of you
" your not staying here "
" what—what "
" you can't — I dont want you here— i’m outta this your not my responsibility anymore your 19 now so I don’t know what to say except get it to fucking gether — you stay here your never gonna go to jail you'd just stay in a confined room for moths — fuck i’m always getting dragged in this shit "
" how — what do I do — what am I gonna do "
" the hell do you mean ? what am I gonna do ? as if the shits not obvious your gonna do fucking nothing while everyone else does all the work for you again "
your voice grew quiet as he scoffed " that's what I thought god — one day i'm gonna get fired "
your eyes darted to the camera and back down " for what exactly "
his eyebrows creased as he stared at you eyes moving all around your face before he spoke ignoring your question " you got yourself in some real bad shit this time y/n "
" but it wasn't even my fau— "
" you don't say shit — you know it wasn't suppose to go down like that and when one goes down we go down together you swore it— that’s how you got our trust don’t fuck yourself over again or you’ll be down in hell by yourself "
" like what ? "
" don't fuck with me y/n "
he moved to grab his clipboard your body lifting when he walked off and forgot about the camera only to drop the clipboard to the floor with a loud clang and start using his shoe to tear the papers apart
" wh-what are you doing " your voice came out soft as your eyebrows creased
His body moving over to the table and throwing the camera youd just put all your hope into someone seeing what you went through being thrown to the ground and stepped on harshly with the heel of his shoes.
Though it wasn't broken broken it was unsalvageable and couldn't be fixed your eyes going wide unable to process anything before he walked to the door and opened it his hand coming up to cup around his mouth
" THEIR ATTACKING " he screamed your body trembling at the way the table shook along with it " calling all units anyone in the vicinity the inmate I am locked up with is having a tantrum of some kind and I do not think I can handle it alone "
Your heart broke as you watched the male in front of you turn back to look at you holding nothing but hate in his eyes " I ask that you help me remove the inmate and get them out of our station immediately "
Several people running in cleaning up the scene and taking pictures before someone uncuffed you and dragged you towards the tall male by the door.
" Chief where do you want em "
" I want em on the next bus to tokyo "
Your head swirling " wh— "
" everyone exit while I talk to the inmate quickly alerting them of their next adventure " everyone moving silently to follow his demands his eyes going directly to yours as everyone raced down the hallway and away from you two
" your going to tokyo — I can't fucking do this — "
" but what would I do there's no one "
" go see bokutou — at this point you've pissed me off I can't do much else for you just — go ask for a new life really " his voice came out in a short laugh at his ending words
" boku— "
" y/n I said i'm pissed off and done with you — you keep interfering with my job and honestly this murder charge was the last strike for me— your of age now I can’t get you outta this shit— so if you could just get a new identity and get the hell away from me id seriously appreciate it "
" daichi I "
" you don't say anything "
" your my — your my brother we’re suppose to be there for each other and you "
" i'm not your anything as of right now you prick " his voice was sharp and held meaning as he snapped at uou " not your brother — your friend — your back up call when you get into weird shit I — I wanted to be a nice police officer and move my way up to chief I wanted to have kids a — a family y/n " he scoffdd " not a shitty sibling who keeps using my job against me and has me pulling strings that shouldn't even exists "
" but "
" you see how I keep cutting you off it's because I don't want to hear you y/n — you annoy the fuck out of me so seriously " he moved his shoulder to glide through the doorframe and past you "just go do what you criminal assholes do and get a new identity and the fuck away from me as soon as possible I want nothing to do with you "
" sooooo thats how you ended up with me " the air in the new room shifted from confusing to happiness as the dual colored male in front of you screamed " THATS AWESOME YOU HAVE SUCH A BADASS BACK STORY "
He jumped up and covered his face dramatically before he spoke "twas a dark night when y/n changed their ways and gave birth to a criminal — a murdering criminal who came to the one and the only — bokuto koutaro the amazingily cool , strong , funny , king of connections — thus creating a beautiful friendship and a dark and powerful villian story "
He smiled at your beat and battered face youd received from your brother a day ago before he spoke again his hair drooping slightly " too much ? "
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lookforthefuture49 · 3 years
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Yo!
I got a fanfiction, finally. I don't expect it to be read much here, but here are the links to fanfiction.net and Ao3 pages for it respectively:
Ao3
Fanfiction.net
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13947355/1/Universal-Wars-aren-t-fun
Ok now I can paste it.
Enjoy <3
[Note: this story is only to be on Archive of Our Own/Fanfiction.net under the username DoubleKKookie and on Tumblr under the username Retrooutlaw. IF YOU SEE IT ANYWHERE ELSE, PLEASE SHOOT ME A PM! This is also kinda meant for funsies, obviously.]
Note note: half created by AI Dungeon. Yay for Ai Generated fanfiction lol
[Universal wars aren't fun//1//Battlegrounds]
Izuku's hair ruffled in the wind, the view of a crumbling city crossing his vision. It was odd, how one minute the world was peaceful, and the next an inter-dimensional war decided to happen. During this war of many universes, most of his world was ravaged. Izuku figured he would probably be safe, at least for now. His world might be a battleground, but he wasn't in the midst of the fight. He wouldn't hurt people from other worlds just because some of their worst villains wanted to attack other places. In fact, Izuku just wanted an excuse to help these new people, to stop their worlds from being ruined too. His plan was to travel between the worlds.
Except, all he got was a dazed sense of incompleteness as the world around him seemed to flicker. For a moment, it seemed as if he were home again visiting his mother over a break, excited to see what his friends did. He could feel a couple of tears form, but of happiness, of joy. However, just as quickly as this flicker came, it left, and he came to the realization he was just remembering the past, that he was still alone in the forest, and that seemed to worsen his sad state.
Izuku turned and took a few steps. He had to get moving, and he had to get moving now. He didn't quite know where he was going, but he knew it was far from his home. All he knew was that he had to keep moving, and find a new reason to fight. So, Izuku decided to just keep walking. He made his way through the forest, dodging branches and occasional bokoblins.
Bokoblins were odd, as he'd never seen them before the inter-universal war began. They hadn't even kinda existed in his world, but now he felt like he was fending the creatures off every other step. He never attacked them, but it seemed like he was constantly running from them, even if they were obviously weak.
This rural area he'd found himself in looked to be nearly untouched by the war. Still, there was this odd sense of unease, and Izuku felt like he was being watched. Like he was being watched every step of the way.
Fearful of this feeling of a watchful eye burning a hole into his back, he began to speed up, getting to the point of running. Running as far as he could, as fast as he could.
The more he ran, the faster he felt himself becoming. He couldn't tell what time of day it was, but he knew that it had to be night.
He ran for what felt like an eternity before stopping, legs buckling under him
He fell to the ground, trying not to cry out. He stood back up, deciding if he was going to be upset about a stupid war, he was gonna do it where it was safe, so he stumbled away from the wide open area he was in, and eventually found a flat-topped building, which he entered before reaching the roof and staring out at the more rural area he had found himself in. What modern building were there, such as this one, were overrun with vines and ivy.
He sat down on the roof and wrapped his arms around his knees, finally letting everything soak in. This situation was garbage. He'd been left behind by the civilians who escaped, he had no idea where his friends were, and he had no way of contacting any heroes or any of his peers to come to his aid.
Izuku didn't want to think about the possibility that they were all dead, but looking at the modern buildings being overtaken like this one, he couldn't help but think such a thing. If the entire town was this destroyed, how on earth could THEY be ok?
He didn't understand how something so bad could happen. How the world could ever go back to normal after what was happening right now, Izuku didn't know. But, all he could do now was try to help, and help he would. The moment he saw a portal open, it was his door to purpose, to other people, whoever they were.
He didn't care what world he stepped into. He didn't care if he died, he just wanted to make a difference. It was no longer about this world, about him, or any of the pro-heroes he once loved. Now, if it meant death, he'd stop this war. He decided right then and there he'd do it for his friends, for his family, for All Might, and for whoever he met on the other side of the portal he was adamant on finding.
He wouldn't fail. Lifting his arms from his legs, he rested his face against his knees and took a deep breath. He lifted his head up, staring to the sky.
"I promise, I'll save everyone. No matter what."
...
Izuku sat on that roof for several more minutes before deciding to resume his search. He stood up, left the roof, and began to walk again- until he heard something. Multiple people, a fair distance away behind him. Judging from what he was hearing of the conversation, they hadn't noticed him yet, and were rather focused on someone who sounded distressed and wanted to get away from them. He hid behind the building as the group of people came into sight, listening into their conversation closely.
"LET ME GO!" He heard peirce the air, and when he could see the group, he noted the man who yelled it was being dragged by the arms by two other people, and this man also looked.. unexplainably odd. His appearance didn't matter now, though. What was important was the predicament he was in.
"Would you just put me down already!?" He snapped again.
His supposed captors looked even angrier than they had initially.
"Our leader says that's not allowed, bucko." One of the two people holding him said. His voice was gruff and southern.
He had a goatee and his hair was slicked back. The other one was female, model-esque.
She had long, curly blonde hair, calm blue eyes and slick red lipstick, which was weird for someone to be wearing in this kind of situation.
"Our orders are very clear. Boss wants you."
"I DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR STUPID BOSS IS BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU-"
The southern-sounding captor pulled a lighter from his pocket, and with it lit, rammed it into the torso of the man. He let out a blood-curdling scream and then didn't say another word afterwards. he, nor his clothes, had caught on fire, oddly enough. The southern guy snarled at the man. Izuku wasn't entirely sure who was good or bad in this situation, but he was irked by the entire scene. The only hard part was deciphering if the one who was captured by these two was good or bad, as saving a villain in the midst of a crazy war would be pretty counter-productive. From the way this man's captors were talking, however, he figured he was either a hero like him, or just in the moral gray trying to stay out of things.
Taking a risk, he stepped out from the shadows...
"Stop!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. They turned to look at him, and their eyes went wide.
He pointed at the man. "You two! Release him right now!"
"What do you think you're doing?" The southern one hissed angrily. "This is none of your business, kid! Go back to where you came from!"
His eyes flicked to the man, who seemed to be either knocked out or unresponsive, as he hadn't even twitched when Izuku shouted in his general direction.
"I don't care! He's being mistreated! I won't stand for it!"
The model (At least, Izuku assumed she was a model) whisper-hissed something at her comrade, who just scowled and shook his head. The two started arguing in hushed voices, as the man they dragged here was now beginning to stir.
When he did open his eyes, fear was clear in them immediately, probably thinking the glare Izuku was directing at his enemies was for him. He calmed after a moment, however. The pair seemed bugged but opted to leave without the man now that they'd been found by someone else. (Maybe that's what they were arguing about) They dropped the man harshly, although he didn't seem to be bothered by this at all. He seemed more bothered by the burn mark just below his chest, which, while small, seemed to be quite painful. It was hard for Izuku to gauge what the man was feeling, though, since he looked dead. Not just figuratively, but quite literally rotten and dead. It was strange, but Izuku decided not to question it, for that wouldn't help either of their situations. He instead walked up to the man, hoping to maybe initiate a conversation.
"Hey, um..." Izuku wasn't really sure what to say to him. He didn't know his name, for one.
The other was that he looked like he'd been through hell and back. He had a multitude of scars, both old and new, on his face and body. They were either dark purple, black, or was a hole, which revealed an empty vessel underneath. In fact, his entire complexion was purple, which struck Izuku as off. Any normal person, quirk or not, definitely was not supposed to be dead and purple.
"Are you alright?" Izuku decided to start with. Simple enough.
"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine." (That comment definitely didn't pan out, but Izuku didn't know his life. Maybe this was normal.) Izuku noted a prominent British accent, one he hadn't noticed while the man was shouting angrily, which was odd, because he probably should have. Taking a closer look at him, the strange man was thin, mangy, and also lacked hair. His pupils were glowing, which also really was strange, and the whites of his eyes were now, instead, pitch black. It was somewhat unsettling, but Izuku tried not to think much of it.
"What was all that about?"
"Frankly, I dunno. One minute everything was normal and I was sitting at home, and the next those two were dragging me along to their 'boss'." He replied.
"I tried to get away, but it wasn't exactly easy. I kinda miss having muscles." He said this in a very nonchalant way, shrugging. Evidently, this man was missing vital body parts, who knows how many, and he was acting like it was completely fine.
"I... see," Izuku said, though he wasn't sure what else to say.
"So, what about you, kid? What's your name?"
"Izuku. Call me Deku, please." He stuck out a hand.
"Michael." The other shook his hand, and Izuku noted that he felt no bones in his hand, like it wasn't solid. It was strange, completely empty. "Uhm, do you know what's been going on lately?"
Michael did not reply immediately. "I dunno, something about some war? It didn't seem to pertain to me until I was dragged into a different world entirely, but feel free to explain."
"All I'm really sure of right now is that there is an Inter-Universal War going on right now, and I want it to end. Mostly because it's left my home a wreck, and I don't want that to happen to anybody else's."
Michael nodded in understanding.
"I can appreciate your feelings on the matter."
...
"How long have you been here?"
"Probably only a little over 2 hours."
Izuku had given Michael the choice to stick with him or go off on his own, and, not knowing what else to do, he agreed. Now they walked aimlessly as Izuku tried to explain a bit about what his world used to be like, and just make small talk. Izuku had decided the moment Michael agreed to tag along that he would not question his purple complexion or the lack of internal structure. It seemed like it might be rude, or bring back bad memories if he said the wrong thing, and he didn't want to cause that.
"I see."
They continued in silence for about an hour, before Michael spoke up again.
"I think I prefer this place over my home, truth be told."
Izuku was a little surprised that he would say something so out of nowhere. "Why?" He asked.
"I could go on for days about the terrible things that happened there." Michael sighed. "I don't particularly like dwelling on the past, so I tried to block it out. But here, it's all right. Even the atmosphere feels less oppressive, even if it's obviously still chaotic here."
Izuku frowned. "That's a pretty deep feeling to come up with so suddenly.
"I've had plenty of time to think, and this is the only conclusion I've come to."
...
The night took a long time to come, and Izuku still could find no portals, nor salvation in another world. He would have to wait another day. The pair sat down, and Izuku found himself falling asleep quite quickly...
It seemed like only seconds had passed when he felt something pulling him back to reality. He opened his eyes, and saw that the sky was beginning to turn pink.
"Get up." Michael whispered.
Izuku squinted, kind of annoyed. "Why?" He whispered back.
"I hear a large group of people coming, and I don't want to risk anything."
"Alright." Izuku nodded.
He stood up, as quietly as he could, and stretched, yawning. He was about to head off when he heard the sounds of many feet marching nearby. They were getting closer every second. He halted said stretching, and opted to climb up a tree. Michael made an attempt to hide, slipping behind a tree, but he was pretty easy to spot if one simply looked a little.
Izuku looked down at the group of men, as they marched by. His only question was why they were marching along together like this, and here of all things. They almost looked like soldiers, marching along with random weapons in hand. They were of varying species, although Izuku did not pay mind to this. When they passed and were far enough, Izuku leaped down and gestured for Michael to follow him as they tailed the group to see where they were going.
"What is this?" He hissed. They were headed towards a large open area. The group marched on, keeping pace, until they were they were the size of ants in distance. Izuku looked out to the open, treeless plains ahead. It took a minute to click in his mind, and he realized as Michael caught up what the plains were.
They were in the midst of a battlefield.
That's a wrap :D
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kayleebreanne09 · 4 years
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I feel so sad!
John b x reader. With a little bit of ex Rafe x reader.
So I was listening to the song You should be sad by Halsey. I’m lowkey obsessed with it & I immediately thought about this blurb idea. So the reader was with Rafe, they had a really toxic relationship & she ran away. John b saves her & puts her back together. Obviously Halsey wrote this amazing song but just for the sake of the fic, the (Y/n) character writes it. Alright I hope y’all like this because it was really fun to write. Love yall💜
It’d been 3 months since you’d ran away from everything kook related. 3 months that a certain messy haired brunette pogue had spent trying to piece your heart back together. 3 months since you ended the most toxic relationship you’ve ever had in your life. You sat on the log, curled up against John B in front of the nightly fire y’all had at the chateau. On your other side was Kie, smiling happily at you, & across the fire, JJ & Pope goofed off. These were your people now. They’d put you back together when it seemed impossible that all the pieces would ever fit right again. JJ made some stupid joke & everyone just groaned but I couldn’t help but laugh. He jumped up & ran over to me to high five me! He threw his hand up in the air a little too close to me & my body automatically flinched. My heart started to race & my vision started to go fuzzy. I ran inside, desperately trying to get air into my lungs. I raced into the bathroom, jumping in the shower & turning the water on. I sank to the floor of the shower, all my clothes still on. I sat there with my knees up to my chest & my arms curled around them, trying to keep myself from breaking. I heard footsteps & a deep sigh that I knew belonged to my boyfriend. I felt John B step into the shower behind me, sitting down with his legs on either side of me & leaning up so his head was resting on my back. “Baby, breathe. You are safe. You aren’t with Rafe anymore, no one will ever touch you again. I will always protect you” he whispered slowly drawing words on my back. He sat there drawing random shapes as the water soaked ya both. “Let’s play a game...guess what I’m writing” he then drew what felt like 12 letters. “J” I guessed for the first letter. “Yes!” He replied...we went on like that until I figured it out. “JJ is a dumbass? Really John B?” I let out a small laugh. “Okay next one” John B said as he started drawing his fingertip along the sopping wet back of my shirt. “I love you” I guessed once he’d finished the last letter. He pulled me back against him & I felt some of the tension leave my body. “Yes. & I’ll never stop loving you. I will always be the best I can for you, I’ll never let you go through what you went through before” he stated, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I love you John B. So much” I said turning & giving him a long kiss, hoping that he could feel just how much I needed him.
The next day, I was sitting on the kitchen counter watching John B make pancakes. My gaze kept drifting out the window to the calm water. Last night had stirred up some memories that were hard to deal with. Poor John B had been up half the night trying to soothe me back to sleep from my stupid nightmares. “Hey babe” John b said pulling my attention back to him. “Yeah baby, what’s up?” I asked smiling at him. “If you’re getting overwhelmed with stuff from the past, maybe you should write about it” he offered, looking back to the pan to flip the pancake. John b knew that I loved writing. It helped me get everything out. I wouldn’t call myself a song writer but I did love taking things that I’d been through & putting them into lyrics that maybe other people could relate to. If I could just help one person get through something, it’d be making a difference & that was all that I wanted. I jumped down & went to hug him from the back. I rested my head against his warm skin & just enjoyed the feeling of having John B in my arms. “That’s a good idea!” I said pressing a quick kiss to his back. “Good! Because I already texted Kie & she’s bringing her ukulele over to help” he said spinning around & swatting me on the butt with the spatula. I stood on my tip toes & pressed my lips to his as he pulled me into him. “You really are the best” I breathed out.
Kie & I sat in the hammock together, legs intertwined. She had her ukulele in her lap & I had my lyric book in mine. She reached over & pulled my pencil from behind my ear, & slid it into my hand. “Get to writing sister, I need to hear what these lyrics sound like before I can come up with a melody. Also, I’m sorry about JJ last night. He didn’t know your history with Rafe & pope chewed his ass pretty good about it.” She said as she laughed loudly. “It’s fine Kie. I just, I know what I want to say...I guess it’s just putting it into actual words is hard. Like I’m not conflicted, I’m 100% over Rafe, I just feel like none of his friends will tell him the truth. They won’t tell him that he’s turned into this monster & I feel like maybe if someone would just be honest with him, maybe he could change & find happiness in his life like I have with John B” I smiled toward the dock where John B was cleaning out the HMS Pogue. “Start there then!” Kie replied. & I did. My mind drifted back...
“Rafe, you’ve got to stop with the drugs. I can help you! You aren’t you anymo-“ I was cut off my his hand grabbing my throat & shoving me back against the wall. “Don’t tell me what I’ve got to do bitch” he snarled. His eyes were dark & pupils so dilated that I didnt even see the man that I’d grown to care about anymore. “I NEED the money, the drugs, the nice cars...I don’t need you. So you better watch the way you’re talking to me” he said, finally releasing my throat. I sank to the floor rubbing my neck where I knew bruises would form later. I took a deep breath & stood up. “I won’t do this anymore. You’ve broken me enough. You are toxic & I’m done. I’m gone & don’t you dare try to find me” I took one final look at the monster he’d become & walked away.
Kie watched as I stared off, my eyes tearing up. I felt her grab my hand & squeeze, just letting me know she was there. “I know what to write!” I said quickly scribbling down everything I wanted to say.
“I wanna start this out and say
I gotta get it off my chest
Got no anger, got no malice
Just a little bit of regret
Know nobody else will tell you
So there's some things I gotta say
Gonna jot it down and then get it out
And then I'll be on my way
No, you're not half the man you think that you are
And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you
'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you
Oh, I feel so sorry
I feel so sad
I tried to help you
It just made you mad
And I had no warnin'
About who you are
I'm just glad I made it out without breakin' down
And then ran so fuckin' far
That you would never ever touch me again
Won't see your alligator tears
'Cause, no, I've had enough…”
Kie leaned over eyes scanning over what I’d written. “(Y/N) this is good. No, it’s amazing. I mean, I don’t even know what to say” she said hugging me tightly. “Thanks for always being there Kie” I said, leaning my head on her shoulder as the hug ended. “Now let’s get to work on this melody!”
A month passed & id been hired to play at midsummers. JJ had heard the song Kie & I came up with at the chateau & while working one day, he heard about talent tryouts to play at midsummers. He relayed the message & Kie & I went & tried out. Apparently they liked us because we were one of the acts that were hired to play. Everything went so fast & suddenly, it was a couple hours before midsummers was supposed to start. I stood in John B’s room, sliding on the dress that I’d gotten. It was a deep vneck off white dress with silver beading. John B walked in & wrapped his arms around me, looking at our reflection in the mirror. “You are so beautiful baby. You are going to be amazing tonight” I smiled at his reflection. “Are you sure you & JJ can pull off sneaking in as waiters?” I questioned. “Of course sweetheart, we are total badassea at going incognito” he said smirking. I turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Good. I don’t think I could get through tonight without you” I whispered. He leaned down & brought his lips to mine. “You’ll never have to go through anything without me” he said squeezing my hips, pulling me closer to him & refusing to let me go until it was time to leave.
The lights facing the stage were blinding. I felt way too many eyes on me & way too many kooks judging me. Kie nudged my arm, smiling over at me & started to play. I put every ounce of emotion that I had into that performance. All the sadness from an ended relationship, & all the hope that I had that one day Rafe would find happiness. He & I were never meant to be, I understood that now. I just wanted him to get the help he needed. A single tear slipped down my face as I sang the last line. I wiped it away, grabbing Kies hand & bowing as the crowd cheered. I scanned the crowd to see Pope, JJ, & John B cheering in the back! “That’s my girl!” John b hollered. Security saw him & started making their way over. “Shit. Come on guys! Mandatory pogue meeting at the chateau!” JJ yelled. Kie ran to JJ as he spun her around & she then threw her arms around JJ & Pope. “Cmon baby!” John b yelled. I yanked up the bottom of my dress, kicked off my heels, grabbing them off the ground & took off running....Launching myself into his waiting arms. He kissed me long & hard. “Time to go!” He said pulling my hand & dancing away right as the pissed off security guard dove at us. I threw my head back laughing as John B bent down & I jumped on his back. He carried me all the way to the waiting HMS Pogue & we all rode off into the night.
Rafe stood in silence staring after the girl he had lost. He knew he’d done everything wrong in the relationship. Maybe she was right. Maybe the drugs couldn’t fill the hole he had inside. He decided then & there that he would get clean. He would fix things with his dad. He finally had closure, & maybe one day, he would find the love that he knew she had found.
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roswellroamer · 5 years
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Nata Lodge to Tuuthebe Lodge, Letlhakane, Botswana. 320km. 5/2/19.
Today was a very memorable day. I rode so hard literally the wheel came off my bike! But first, I woke in the "foreigners" chalet rooming with my Aussie mates Andy & Jim. Great place with both toilet and shower placed in separate but outside rooms. Very nicely appointed with some sliding glass and screen doors out onto the back deck. The whole lodge had loads of sand around and after getting out of my kit the previous afternoon, I was barefoot the whole previous day as it felt like being at the beach. At least until you try to ride a motorcycle through it! Made to order breakfast at 7AM kitted up and I also need to mention that we had a bush baby looking over us last night at dinner. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galago 👀
We met some more Americans and some part time Americans who live 3 months out of the year in Cape Town. We were planning to make it today to the Makgadikgadi salt pan today. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Makgadikgadi_Pan
The tar road route there was about 400km but Gavin had scouted a path with the GPS and some locals, I don't think I can call it a road though it was, to cut the distance and to challenge the group to a bit of sand and exploration across Botswana. The first 40km or so were manageable for me. Not one vehicle seen all day on this path. There was some sand and some rutted river crossings (dry riverbed) and detours but we all made it. Apparently one of the rocks must've pinched the tire and tube pretty hard because during one stretch I could feel my front wheel not tracking as well and started to gear it making sound as it dies when losing air. So fortunate I was that within about a km or so the group stopped. By now my tire was properly flat. Gavin unstrapped his tools and he and Baz went to work. Within twenty minutes my tube was replaced. Very impressive. So my early comment 👆 about the wheel coming off may have been a bit misleading. But now with the wheel back on and tire inflated we continued along dirt, rock, sand, dry river beds, cows and fencing. Lots of elephant dung and trampled fences due to their presence but we saw none. A few hills and some wide open spaces. I hit one river crossing particularly hard and wasn't standing. I just find it tough to stand when my brain is telling me I am in imminent danger of being hurled from the bike... To this point I thought I was gonna lose it a couple times when I would lose the track through a deep rut and get tossed violently. The bike is really fantastic when you are confident enough to accelerate through so many obstacles. Massive holes, sand, huge bumps, etc. At this one spot, where I hit hard I immediately felt pain. I don't know what I did but I felt it the rest of the day and needed to stand more to keep it from hurting which was better for my riding technique. Now at the end of the day it has subsided and I suspect just a muscle strain. Phew. For the rest of this group with more off road experience they really enjoy this technical stuff. Most of the unpaved stuff is and has been fun for me. However the other 5% has been unnerving. I feel as if I have survived those stretches by will, and acceleration and by sheer good fortune. Two more guys laid it down in the sand today. 5 of the 7 bikes have been down. After that painful river hit I had to go even slower. One after another I would reach a technical river crossing and just shake my head. You can't stop to really dissect the terrain since your momentum is key to carrying you through the ever changing challenge of where your tires are gonna track. So in you go. Twist the throttle and pray that the seemingly 30° arcs both wheels are taking independently from each other don't cause you to do a tank slapper. After 50km we came to a flat area that didn't look too bad from afar. But the tracks had washed out and been replaced with lots of loose sand. I must admit I was swearing to myself a bit as I was tossed side to side unexpectedly through this section. Then I noticed 6 bikes on top of the next hill about a half km ahead. Both feet out pretending to my brain that it might help me from wrecking even though it would prolly only cause a fractured leg if serious calamity had arisen. I plodded through the thick stuff. Venturing far left of where the road was supposed to be at times. But I wobbled my way through with plenty of close calls and scaled the last hill to the welcome cheers of the group. I did feel good I hadn't laid it down as the guys said it was tough and technical to a man. But I don't feel I am mastering deep sand at all and I'm just feeling my mortality when I get in it. The last 15 km or so to the tar was fortunately not nearly as technical and we hit the tar aiming for Orapa. We had our second chat of the day with a veterinary guard who came over to talk with us and wish us a nice journey since we opted to stop just past her post. The other one was really personable (early in the day right where we started the dirt/sand road after leaving Nata) and was after us for conversation and sweets. 🍬
The next stop was at a crossroad. Right was towards the Makgadikgadi pan with the massive alluvial diamond mine looming a mile or so ahead of us. As a side note at one of these mines near here just 3 days ago the worlds second largest diamond was just discovered! 1761 carats. 💎 We needed fuel since it was about 70km each way to and from the pan, so we went left and maybe 10km into Letlhakane. First traffic we have seen in a while. Not a lot of cars, but a stop sign and everyone turning in somewhere and just slow. We got gas and for the fourth day in a row (at least) grabbed a bite at the gas station. There just are no decent places to stop for lunch. I grabbed an egg salad and tomato sandwich and some sort of green tea drink. This trip to the pan was always a question mark. Not much of a road to it. Perfect time of year to visit it as it is and has been dry. Like Bonneville, you could ride anywhere on the salt and there are some islands (as these flats fill with water in the rainy season) with big rocks and baobab trees. We waited about twenty minutes or so for the bakkie to meet us as they were restocking in town. After that we ran out of tar after maybe 20km of the 70 to the salt. We had to ask some folks how to go since it seemed most sandy trails were on someone's property last Kubu station. After about 2 km more the sand got deep. I really didn't think it was a good idea to try and make it. I stopped and took a pic of the sand. I told the guys in the bakkie that I was turning around. We set a place to meet back at the same crossroad and I slogged my way for a bit before finding some firmer sand then soon after on the tar. I was doing some reflection today. The deep stuff was over my head, at least figuratively. It is a fine line between adrenaline and fear when pushing yourself in unfamiliar areas and surfaces. I decided I didn't want to risk the rest of my ride to try and make it to the pan. I was just organizing my thoughts to pen this post thinking I would have at least a couple hours when I thought I heard a bike. Yep. Barry then the rest of the crew showed up not 15' behind me. They had reached a similar conclusion due to depth of sand and length of daylight since it was already pushing 4PM.
We rolled straight to the Tuuthebe lodge and were pleasantly surprised by the size and quality of our rooms. The guys had bought stuff for a braai and we had a great night outside with John grilling up sausages, ribs, and chicken. We also had baked beans and potato salad and plenty of beer. I streamed some decent music on Sean's Bluetooth speaker and the icing on the cake was when our neighbor Seabi who works for a diamond mine got down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend Atlang. She said yes! 💍 And it's time for me to say goodnight. Well after midnight. 😴 Baz' word of the day is strafdop. It is a punishment drink required to be bought by the person that screws something up.
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mittensmorgul · 7 years
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My boyfriend admitted yesterday after finally watching 13.1 that Dean and Cas DO love each other. He has no doubt in his mind that if Cas were female, Destiel would have happened. BUT he sees Dean as straight and doesn't believe anything could happen with Cas in Jimmy's body. I told him that this is heteronormative bi erasure and that as a bisexual, I find it offensive that he makes that assumption. What if these sorts of casual viewer opinions keep Destiel from ever happening? I'm losing hope.
Hi there! And congrats to your boyfriend for seeing the love there. :D
First off, no offense to straight dudes, but the straight dude I’ve been married to for 20 years has absolutely no sense of bifi. Or gaydar. I mean, if he sees two dudes kissing at Pride he’d pick up on it (and there are a few famous people who came out that he wasn’t surprised at all about– George Michael, Rob Halford, he was shocked that anyone was shocked…), but when it comes to closeted bisexuals who deliberately do not want to be detected, especially the way Dean performs dudebro heterosexuality as well as Dean does especially in early seasons, he just has no clue.
*insert that gif of Sam telling Dean he’s overcompensating*
The things about Dean that have been screamingly obvious because I relate to them from personal experience just don’t register to a straight dude who has never once questioned his sexuality (like Sam, for instance). To a person who has experienced it first-hand, a lot of Dean’s behavior reads as signal flares as bright as day. If it were only used for the occasional joke, or rare random things that didn’t fit into a much larger pattern, or if it were just enough to make me sit up and notice once or twice a season, I’d assume it was just a coincidence. But… it’s not a rare random occurrence. It’s something we see in nearly every episode, more and more blatantly as the seasons progress.
I tell everyone to read this:
http://destielhiseyesopened.tumblr.com/post/102023741956/slash-and-subtext-series
It’s a lot to read, yes, but it’s incredibly thorough and the sort of thing your neck will be sore from nodding along in agreement the entire time. :P
As for whether or not the show will go there, which NONE of us can say for sure, the one thing I can say for sure is that it will not be casual viewer opinions that will influence Dabb’s storytelling. He’s said it multiple times, that he’s going to tell this story his way, whatever that might mean in the end. Dude’s not telling. I mean, look at him:
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So while it’s great to have hope, because we DESERVE representation in blatant and clear terms, there is no guarantee that we will actually GET it. I mean, that is a very real possibility. It’s why I personally don’t watch the show with any expectation for ANYTHING, you know? Then every new hint that they are taking this somewhere is a pleasant surprise. For me, watching from the standpoint that I EXPECT a certain outcome is just not an enjoyable way to live. It’s just too much to stress about.
And as I’ve said over and over again, just like Dabb, I personally couldn’t give a flying fuck with the mysterious “general audience” sees when they watch the show. I watch because of what *I* see in the show, because I like analyzing the story, writing meta (with the friendly reminder that “meta” has exactly zero to do with predicting the future of the story… that’s speculation, and aside from being able to read obvious twists and turns in near-future plot points, or understanding general character development arcs and where they could potentially be headed in vague general ways, I DO NOT ENJOY SPECULATION, especially when it involves the sort of detail that a lot of more casual fans seem to expect of meta writers. I AM TIRED OF FOLKS HAVING THE IMPRESSION THAT SPECULATION AND POSITIVITY FOR THE FUTURE OF THE SERIES AND CHARACTERS IS “”””META”””” BECAUSE IT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT.
Sorry for yelling, I needed to put that out there. Comments of “I love your meta!” when referring to headcanons and speculation about endgame destiel is just… missing the entire point. The meta is the long academic character analysis, the comparisons with the current arc to past canon, the examination of episodes THAT ARE ALREADY PART OF CANON. Looking to the future to make guesses about what COULD happen in the future is SPECULATION. NOT META.
I’m so tired of people who do not understand that giving meta writers hate and dismissing EVERYTHING we’ve written because a “prediction” didn’t come true on the show exactly as someone wrote it… A guess of what will happen in the future that doesn’t quite pan out doesn’t invalidate all the ACTUAL meta we’ve all written over the years. Because just like pr is not showrunning, speculation isn’t meta.
*even when the speculation is attached to the bottom of a really long meta post. The speculation bit isn’t the tl;dr of the post. it’s the interesting and fun little bonus bit after you’ve consumed the factual part of the analysis. It’s the little blop of whipped cream on top of the pie that is the actual important content. It’s mostly decorative and just a bit of fun.*
Thanks, this has been a meta writer PSA.)
The point of all that is that none of us have a crystal ball, none of us have some secret insider information into Andrew Dabb’s brain. Despite the fact that we’ve been watching his storytelling over the last 8+ years (yes, he’s been writing for the show since s4, and has written more episodes of Supernatural than any other writer, so we have A LOT of history to look over, not to mention all of s12 and the back ~third~ at least of s11 after he silently took over the showrunning from Carver to look at when trying to understand his pet themes and how he writes), the best we can do is make educated guesses.
I’m not basing my hope for canon on some ability to read the future, I’m basing it on MY ability to look at the entirety of extant canon and be objectively logical about where the story started, where the story is NOW, and as far as individual character development arcs based on having watched them all evolve over twelve plus seasons already…
Well, let’s just say that for *me,* I can see the characters have been on a logical emotional progression over the course of the entire series (that would be the “meta” part of things). As new canon unfolds, and characters continue to develop and interpersonal storylines continue to evolve… here’s a metaphor. The writers are walking the characters down a long hallway with loads of doorways open to potential future development arcs. As they walk past each doorway and don’t veer off course, it’s like they’re closing off logical possibilities to detour into alternate routes. They’re slamming and locking those doors up forever. The closer we get to the end of canon (in whatever nebulous future that the series will reach its end, and NONE of us know when that will be right now), the fewer doorways are left to walk past, and the less logical any detour from what looks (again, from reading the meta and looking back at the entirety of past canon) like the steady progression of development would be.
Does that make sense? I mean, they’re writing themselves into a corner (or into the end of the hallway where there’s only going to be one last exit door to walk through). But again, as long as there’s still hallway ahead of us, they could take an “easier” route or just decide to stop walking altogether and just sort of set up camp at their current point in character development. It wouldn’t really be sensible for the STORY as it stands right now for them to do either of these things, because if they start backtracking looking for a different door the entire narrative falls apart. Whatever they do, they must keep writing forward.
*stops and scrolls up and cries a lil bit at how much I wrote*
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Point is, we just don’t know. I’m hopeful, I feel like we DESERVE to be seen and this love story absolutely DESERVES canon acknowledgement for what it is, and that every sign in past canon and every sign the writers are continuing to carry on down this hallway is pointing to it happening at some distant point in the future… but as of right now none of us have any idea what that eventual resolution will look like. What even is canon?
I mean, your boyfriend said he sees that Dean and Cas love each other. Is that canon? What would “qualify” as being legitimately canon? I love @bluestar86′s spec post about how easy it would be to make Dean’s bisexuality textually canon, but I have no idea if we’d ever get an episode stating it so blatantly. We might, though. We did have Dean asking a gay married couple what it was like settling down with another hunter…
The point is, even trying to speculate on what will happen in the future– especially something so unknowable and distant as “endgame,” is honestly impossible. We have no idea what will happen in canon between now and then in specific terms. In the meantime, I’m perfectly content to point and flail at what is actually happening in canon right now and paying exactly zero attention to what “casual viewers” think they’re watching.
I know exactly what I’m watching, and I love it.
Will they ever make it undeniably obvious and clear in canon? I mean, it is undeniably obvious and clear to *me* but everyone has their own personal biases and wishes and checklists of things they feel must happen, and no matter if the series ends with Dean and Cas getting married there will still always be people who deny it was “enough” to make their relationship obvious, you know? I just… don’t have the energy to deal with that level of denialism. It just stresses me out to worry about what “endgame” might look like specifically when as far as we know, “endgame” isn’t even on the table yet.
So by all means, if you can, take that small step back and try and enjoy the continuing story, and don’t put too much stock in anyone’s opinion of what may or may not happen in the future. But most of all, don’t put much much stock in what random straight dudes in the general audience think. Because Andrew Dabb doesn’t. :P
Wow okay that turned into a treatise…
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