#but now im up super late lol
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i hopped on palia to help sister with a quest. that was 4-5 hours ago. i got sidetracked with the nicest group of players in bahari bay. we all just roamed and called out so much palium and multiple proudhorned. i haven't seen the rare stuff spawn like that since closed beta! i got FORTY palium ore in 2 hours! no proudhorned antlers dropped tho
#the lag has been BAD since switch launch#so i was real surprised at the lack of it while hunting#idk if it was just the time of night or stuff being worked on#but omg palia players are so kind!#theres already lingo and courtesies forming#like at midnight people search for the grove and usually chop at 3#call out the rare mats like palium and dari cloves#its so neat#like in the months ive played ive never had a bad experience in chat#and i like helping others out too#but this was the first session i was part of a random group that stuck together for a while#but now im up super late lol#kt plays#palia game
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modern college au where model ivan comes home late after photoshoots and listens to till's demos for hours on repeat to wallow in his agony (the songs are always for mizi)
#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alien stage till#ivantill#(implied)#i have a lot of ideas for this au actually lol im just now posting about it#pretty basic stereotypical stuff whatever i just find it funny#in this au till is pretty underground as an artist and a musician#mizi sua ivan and till knew each other since they were kids but eventually all 4 had to separate#ivan tried to take till with him when he had to move to a bigger city for opportunities n stuff but till refused (insert meteor scene)#so they haven't seen each other for years til college#ivan still secretly keeps up with tills music and development though and he gets emo about it late in the night. as one casually does#SUPER CORNY STUFF SORRY#my art#para.art#para.mp4
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For requests: mayhaps your tc deity au? I really liked it :D
Or, if you wish, some of your ocs?
39. tfw river didn't like your fort
also wanted to congratulate everyone with belated new years/summer solstice festival :D yippee!!!
got costumes from these photos of Yhyakh of Olonkho 2024 (i think currently its down or something, site worked two seconds ago lol)
from this post
#i didn't want to be super late to congratulating everyone so i speedran this#the one I'll go to this year will be next weekend so im chilling for now#anyways i am not a good representative but i try LOL#ethoslab#vintagebeef#pauseunpause#team canada#tc deity au#artstump#answeringstump#if you want a good one check out pandasakha! ive been watching their videos for a long time. cuisine is awesome#if theres a typo let me know. but i wont be able to fix it in time because i am going eeping now honk shoo honk shoo#sun is up hey sun! i sent it off like 5 hours ago because i felt like it. it was nice trying to imagine it being a 3d sphere and so far away
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i swear to gog are doctors not allowed to be on time lol
#not super mad or annoyed i dont want them to rush w prev ppl#its judt funny how this happens p much every time i go to any kinda doctor lately#huisarts making me wait for abt as long as the actual appointment took#and now vet is 15 min late lol#(yeah happy birthday to me im taking the cat to the vet)#shes fine btw just vaccinations + checking whats up w her microchip
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ummm
#im so fkn anxious now#what if he has seen some of my vents.... and i hurt him even more#it's just that i ... i dont know#i even made this blog to vent on here and not on my main#idk why i cant stop#bc i actually have ruined several connections by doing that. so why cant i stop?#anyway now im so fkn anxious bc what if hes seen my vents#ive been doing extra extra bad lately and i even stopped checking my notifs#which makes me post even more freely bc now idk if someones mean or not like i just dont see it#but im also scared that smth bad happened to him#and that he got hurt again#bc i dont want that i truly dont#i want him to be ok and happy#so now im so anxious that hes hurt and upset with me#or that hes doing super bad#lowkey i'd rather have the 1st bc i want him to be alive and keep going and be ok#but im so scared that hes mad or upset with me and i just dont#have the bravery or strength to look#but what if its urgent?? and smth i cant wait several days with???#now i understand why he didnt reply quick lol... im such a bad person#i shouldve been understanding with that.. god im such a mess i keep fucking up and hurting everyone's that close to me#but im not looking bc im scared but that makes me so fkn anxious i wanna cry
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impulsively changed my icon hi guys
#end of an era.. how long did i have sad ant with a bindle its got to have been over a year by now probably#i dont know i dont remember the past like. year? two years? very well if im being honest lolllllll#ive been playing thru yume nikki lately.. i dont have anything interesting or new to say abt it its very good#id really been wanting to see the famicom worlds as id heard abt them before and they looked rlly cute#finally just caved in and looked up how to find them. turns out the one i wanted to go to most (house / field one) was thru that fucking#static maze room i couldnt figure out for the life of me <- im just kinda stupid lol#IT WAS SOOOOO CUTE THOUGH I GENUINELY STARTED TEARING UP#im super biased obviously i fucking love mother 1 and its . so blatantly inspired by it visually#but like. ITS SO CHARMING I CANT EVEN PUT IT INTO WORDS 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲#thought the witch effect looked especially cute sooooo yeah new icon#well see how long this lasts i have. no idea#inquisitivewaltz.txt
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🐮
#ok ok im gonna try to go to the gym today#i havent been able to make myself leave the house at all this week#and im feeling so bad about myself :((#im up earlier today and im gonna have breakfast calmly and then walk 45min to the gym#work out (which is the part i love lol) and then go to the store#bc that store has a special price for salmon today which makes me wanna go today skksksks#i havent had salmon in 10 months at least and even before that i havent had it in like a year#it is super fkn expensive lately so i cant at all afford it#but now it costs way less so i can actually afford it....#i just hope the store actually has it and that it isnt just 'sold out' :((((#if that's the case then thats how it is but oh it'd make me so sad#i havent had salmon for years 😭#it's one of my fav things to have for dinner :((((#ok anyway im gonna try to go to the gym today#it is a bit annoying that it will probably rain#im so sick of it raining constantly#i love the rain but when i cant afford taking the buss and have to walk everywhere it becomes a nuisance#having to walk for 45min and get fkn drenched and then have to go to an appt or exercise or smth it's so gross#but yeah... i just have to go anyway :<#can it stop raining now#also it is in the middle of june and we just stopped having warm weather???#global warming is scary bro#anyway i hope it gets warmer soon
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just 2 have a little complain but i’ve been on some dates recently with two dif girls and both were like. so late. one was on the first date she kept pushing back the time and then still arrived half an hour late. and then yesterday i got to the park on time for date with a different girl and then receive a message ten minutes after saying they’re going to be another fifteen minutes. and she ends up saying we should reschedule because i had to be somewhere two hours after the scheduled time because she’s still on her way she was going to be like forty minutes to an hour late. like i’m not waiting that long man
#they were both neurodivergent but dude this is a date with a stranger and you message me when i GET to the place that you’re running#essentially extremely late ? i have no reason to want to wait around for you#i already didn’t really feel like going on the date yesterday but i was like oh one more date see how it goes#but i’m not hanging out with her again lol#and also the first date girl was late and then just didn’t seem super interested in me or asking questions or whatever#anyway!!!! just annoying and feels quite shitty#also really hate. the expectation now that if someone messages saying they r late like ten/fifteen minutes before#you have to thus be okay with waiting around for half an hour or something#whereas if we didn’t have phones if someone was half an hour late you would be justified in leaving#okay anyway. that’s me done#plz complain about dating to me xx#u know what i love tho ridi shows up early to hang outs. incredibly brilliant im always ready early#this is so lame i love when people are early cause usually i’m sitting around like :-) waiting to hang#laura says some things
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i'm pretty sure it's not smart of me to absorb the tadpoles like they're breadsticks or some shit but i just wanna see what will happen okay
#kinda growing suspicous of the dream visitor ngl#what does he want from me 🫵#is he evil is he good??? idk what to think#anyway just did the house of healing holy shit that was awesome#like super fucking creepy and scary as hell but that was so cool#anyway woke up the dude with the lute and now ive killed halsin for like three times trying to break the curse :)#idk if i'm supposed to break the curse first and then go to the moonlight towers or do it afterwards??#i rly want to have halsin as a companion :(#but it's hard!!!#i'm so bad at this game#anyway i'm pretty sure im going to regret using the tadpole's powers at some point#i don't think it's a very rowena thing to do to use them tbh but somehow didn't think of that earlier lmao#i feel like she would just want it out but too late now!!#just watch me get the bad ending lol#💬
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MEET S.P.O.O.N, my emotional support Zebra Furby Buddy 🖤
S.P.O.O.N stands for Sir Princess of Obvious Neurodivergence because i insisted he has a long funny name that can be shortened. she uses any pronouns and goes by both Spoon and Sir Princess as nicknames lol
i take them with me to doctor appointments and stuff 🖤 also my dog Sunny loves Spoon, i think she likes that it doesn't make noise lol
#sorry it took me so long to introduce him with their name!!!#i've been super fatigued and stressed and just not up for posting much lately#i had spontaneous surgery on my foot recently and i had a full blown 10/10 pain for like 3 days straight#it was awful#but i'm healing now and can even wear shoes woohoo#Spoon was with me when i was at the podiatrist 🖤#it was my first time having an experience where i could actually tell the doctor that i needed way more numbing agent than they expect#and i did need more! it sucked lol! they were like really!? you can still feel pain!!?? oh no!! lol yeah#anyway hi im still here#i love furblr#im just tired all the time haha#hope everyone is doing ok love youuuuuu#my furby#spoon#sir princess of obvious neurodivergence#furby fandom#furby community#furblr#furby#furbies#all furby#furby buddy#safe furby#emotional support furby#zebra#actually autistic
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tried to get a job at my uni but failed oh well
#got past the interview but they do this thing regarding references where i had to fill stuff out and then one of my references was away so#i got an email abt it and i dont have another reference so lol. theyve emailed me again since but i am incapable of opening those bc mental#illness. i got an email frm the uni abt the training but it said we would get a link to register for this thing and i never got the email.#i did email them last night to ask if that was an error or if the position was filled#but that was at like 7pm and training starts in less than an hr and no response yet so im not gonna go cuz thatd be embarrassing#and at this point now id be late anyway. hate being disabled lol! trying not to let it get to me right now! i am up super early for no#reason now so im going to sbucks to get myself a treat lol
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...
#the thing abt me is that if u complement me in an academic context i will melt#me walking into every interview: fuck this school. i dont wanna go there. im sad. on one is gonna want me. i can hardly function. fuck this#me walking out of every interview: fuck. the project is cool and they said nice things abt me 😭#fuck. the guy from the lab i interviewed with basically said if u wanna be here i can make it happen. i like ur style and i think ur a#super good candidate 😭 and he quoted my wanky writing bc i got a bit flowery and idealistic lol#and hes on the admissions committee so he was like: yea i can support u if u want just let me kno#and fucking hell the project is cool. but the thing is i think id have to be less of a sad sac bc i think he expects a lot and is hands off#but it is a big institution with a lot of creative ppl and theyre good abt supporting interdisciplinary work#so like the opportunities there would be pretty fucking great i think. hhhhhh god. theres no way i could take the uk one now#fuck. wtf am i gonna do abt that? do i bow out now before ive committed so they have a shot with another person#or is it too late for that bc they already put my name forward to the committee#god dammit. this was the one i was supposed to b like yea no shot am i getting this. and now im like fucking considering it like#the opportunities.... but id have to live in new jersey... it would b closer to home i guess. id b back on east coast time#and i could work with Yellowstone organisms. and i bet the classes r pretty fucking rad education wise#god. decisions. im gonna play Choices by the Hoosiers like a million times#thats what i did wjen i was deciding to go for undergrad. and then i didnt even decide. i was just like... well i dont wanna go to the#place all my classmates r going. i will go 3hrs away. then 12hrs by plane for my masters#fuck. at least it went well. everyone was nice and the 2nd guy i talked to was like:#even if u dont go here. email me if u end up working with zinc and i can help. and i was like 😭#i got a bit rambly with him but whatever he was 15min late so we're even lol#i was way too nervous. but it was ok. but also i dont understand wtf other incoming phd students r like??#like they say im a good candidate and ive got good background and im like ??? what sort of losers r u looking at if u think im good?#i just think maybe what i wanna do is unique and very specific so im like not trying to do just anything. i have standards lol#and apparently im more coherent than i give myself credit for. i talk good sometimes and i have enthusiasm when i dont feel like im dying#god. i was not expecting this. i dont belong at a school working with tech startups like wtf. i come from a place of slightly trash#universities lol. well my undergrad uni wasnt so bad... well i mean the city is the butt of a lot of ohio related jokes tho. im looking at#u klinger. fucking mean streets of toledo. whatever the school im at now is worse. couldnt even keep my boss here smh#anyway what the fuck. and i got a lotta writing done today what the fuck#me being competent???? unheard of. god. imagine if i had my shit together. i could kill god. algae and other scientists would fear me#unrelated
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Tangentially related to the previous post but whenever I see my friends being active online when I know they should be in bed my first response is always to be all why the fuck are you awake go back to sleep
#mind you half the time they do have to be up that early or are staying up late for some reason#but also i love how ive made it super clear that if im up its because im just waiting for the pain to go back down#or now waiting to be able to lay backdown after a midnight snack#so basically nobody tells me to go the fuck to bed#except lang bc she knows my bedtime lol
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just watched everything everywhere all at once for the first time and it felt pretty life changing i gotta say
#everything everywhere all at once#wow wowowowowowowowow#i always wait until the hype dies down to watch movies that are super popular cos i can’t really make up my mind on something#for myself when im seeing all kinds of opinions flying about everywhere#that’s why im so late to the party on this#but oh. my. god.#im really glad it won all them oscars now lol#absolutely incredible movie#at the beginning i was struggling with it a bit because it was having to build up all this stuff#but by the time it got to the 2001 reference (which had me HOWLING) i was completely on board#sausage fingers man#amazing
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being treated as a criminal every time i have to get my meds at the pharmacy isn't fun
#my psychiatrist is 250 km away because adult adhd psychiatrists are RARE#i had to wait a year to get my first appointment#and it's not like i can just take days off everytime i have to see her#so i have video call appointments and she sends me the prescription through the most used platform in dranc#france* AND YET#it's still not considered secure#because they want the paper version that has been written and signed by hand#but if they mail it it will be too late#because it's only valid 3 days as it's considered as narcotics and therefore regulated +++++#i had less problems picking up my grandma's morphine somehow#i started writing this while i was waiting when she went to ask a colleague now im outside in my car#with no meds bc she told me she had no way to check that any of it is real#and that i should see a psychiatrist in our area#she was super rude in front of everyone now im crying in my car lol#great#work is shit and that was the final drop i guess
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.
#like i truly sincerely am trying not to be a mess. ive been doing so well#but HJDDKDZKXFJKDKDKDMDNZ LESS THAN A WEEK??????????#god. whatever happens............. idk i feel like my life is at a crossroads rn JDJDJDDJJDJSJSKSJSJMS#all caused by ONE GUY......... hhhhHHHHHHH#hes so annoying. usually when i talk to a guy i like... the feelings disappear bc its like oh ew.#but this fuckin guy istg HDJDJDJDNMDDJDKKDKSZM#probably gonna end up being more confused than ever. that seems to be the case. god.#whatever JDJJDJDJD gonna focus on work i guess#idek what im gonna wear. and my... period is super late so im freaking out JDJJDDJJDJXJXJXJXM#immaculate conception... pls not now..........#im all over the place NDJDDJDJDMD#personal#i think its just stress. like work has been so crazy#im on a dev team of 2 ppl n my teammate is always sick and so. on our already tiny team its like...#im the only member. n it sucks DJKDKDKDKDKDK#like i'll only have been working there a couple months n yet JDJDJDJDJDD with next to zero training ive somehow found myself like#idk JDJDJJEKDKDMS GOD#whatever whatever#it was frustrating but now i think i have all the pieces to do my job#n so if shes not there then lol........ whatever i know what i have to do so...#at least i have that confidence now
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