#but she’s apparently had a bad run lately when it comes to drinking and i am freaked out

[callixton]

ohhh i’ve been home for like three hours and already i am on edge. i feel like i can’t cough now bc my mom hears and it’s distressing her over the overall state of my health so much that she came into my room with tears in her eyes. like i know it comes from a place of love but holy shit i cannot take this all summer.

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Tethered.

The lines of friendship blur when you’re this close. Also known as - each of the times you’ve kissed Benny, Frankie, Santiago and Will.

Pairing - Benny Miller, Frankie Morales, Santiago Garcia, Will Miller x female reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - Cursing, sexual content, mentions of sobriety

Word Count - 5523

Author's Note - by popular demand!! thank you to everyone who voted in the poll, it was so helpful!! don't worry, there is still a stewy hosseini fic coming very soon. i love writing for the triple frontier boys, so if anyone has any requests or particular thoughts, please send them my way. i'm also a total will girly, if you couldn't tell. as always, lots of love <3

my other triple frontier fics - Time, Tranquility and Home Is Where The Heart Is.

Masterlist. Requests.

Will’s strong hand rubs steady circles into your thigh under the table as you all hunch over laughing.

Benny’s telling the story of his bad date from the night before. The combination of his masterful storytelling and the whiskey that seems to be refilling itself is making you giddy, all of you high on the joy of being with your best friends. There’s no feeling quite like it, laughing until you cry.

“Wait, that doesn’t explain why she slapped you!” Santiago exclaims from opposite you, clapping Benny on the back.

“She slapped me because, it turns out, I’d kissed her best friend a few months ago. She called me a dog and everything,” he laughs, tears escaping from his eyes. “She had a strong hand!”

“Did you know who she was when you saw her?” Frankie asks, genuinely intrigued.

“I realised as soon as I sat down. I didn’t know it’d be a problem! Man, fuck blind dates,” Ben chuckles.

“Am I crazy for not seeing the issue here?” Santiago asks, looking around the table.

“I didn’t see it either, apparently. It’s not like me and Lucy ever went anywhere. It was just a kiss.” Benny’s face is scrunched up in confusion. It makes you want to smooth your thumb over the crease between his brows.

“She was giving me the look, I swear,” he continues. “So I went in for the kiss, and she hit me.”

The boys are all laughing again, and as guilty as you feel, you can’t help but join them. Benny has such an animated, expressive face, that even the most boring of stories are entertaining when being told by him. It’s a gift. He just has a way with people.

“What do you think, hermosa?” Santiago asks, looking at you pointedly. “Would you kiss someone your best friend has kissed?”

“I don’t know,” you reply carefully. “Depends on the situation, I guess. I’d try not to, I think.”

Will’s looking at you with amusement in his eyes, slight smirk on his face. It’s clear that no one is putting the pieces together.

“Would you, Santi?” you question, lips quirking up at the corners.

“Probably not. I’d avoid it, if possible,” he replies.

The whiskey is making you braver than usual, a warm buzz running through your veins. Without thinking, you laugh,

“Too late.”

Everyone looks at you, brows raised in confusion. Will’s grinning now, chuckling to himself quietly. You’re giggling at their faces, their naivety making you smile.

You watch as Frankie looks slowly around the table, and then back at you. Shaking his head, he catches your eyes and snickers.

“Minx,” he mutters, still smiling.

“Am I missing something here?” Benny asks, surveying the silent communication happening between you, Frankie and Will.

You sigh sarcastically and throw your drink back, downing it in one go. Well, we’re doing this, you think.

“I’ve kissed every single person at this table,” you start. “Which means you’ve all kissed the same girl your best friend has kissed.”

Santiago and Benny go silent for a moment, processing this new information. Will and Frankie are still smiling, already a step ahead.

“Wait, what?” Santiago finally speaks. “You have?”

“Oh no. Pope thought he was special,” Frankie laughs, head thrown back.

“Stop it, Francisco! You are special, Santi. It just so happens that they are too.”

You point generally at the other boys, all of them with their eyes fixed on you. You can see that Benny is still figuring things out, the alcohol making his brain work slower than usual.

“I’ve known you guys for years. We’ve been through a lot together. And you’re like, the four most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen! It was bound to happen sooner or later,” you justify.

Everyone’s laughing now, the final piece finally being put into the jigsaw. You can tell they’re all thinking back to their kisses – you are too.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Benny had been the first one to kiss you.

It happened right at the beginning of his boxing career. He’d started working out religiously, meal planning, prepping for his first big fight. He set strict rules for himself – no alcohol, no women, no sex. You were glad he’d found an output for his energy, glad he was taking something so seriously – even if the idea of him getting hurt did terrify you.

The four of you had gone to support him, eager to see him win after months of watching him train and prepare. He’d really committed to the process, which was a surprise – Benny was a notorious ladies man. He loved to relax with a beer. But he’d never broken his self-made rules, not once. No matter the outcome of the fight, you were insanely proud of him. All of you were.

The atmosphere in the warehouse was electric. It was a big venue, with hundreds of people gathering to spectate. You hadn’t realised this was such a popular event. Adrenaline buzzed through the air, making you antsy with anticipation. You and the boys had front row seats by the ring, allowing you the perfect view, the ideal place to support Ben.

“I’m gonna go get us some beers,” Santiago yells over the noise.

“I’ll come help you,” you shout back, linking your hand into his so you don’t get separated.

You make your way out of the double doors and down the hallway in attempt to find the bar. On the journey, you spot a sign that points to the locker rooms.

“You order, I’ll be right back,” you tell Santiago, before following the directions.

You push open the door and step into the locker room. Benny is sat on the bench, headphones blasting music so loud you can hear it from 10 feet away. You make your way over, and touch him on the shoulder gently. He doesn’t startle.

“I don’t want to disturb you, Ben. Just wanted to say good luck,” you say quietly.

He grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit next to him.

“You could never disturb me, honey. You’re my good luck charm,” he winks, and the cheekiness of it warms your chest.

He pulls you in, wrapping his arms around you, breathing in the scent of your strawberry shampoo. You inhale with him, and soak up the heat that’s seeping into your skin.

“It doesn’t matter what happens out there,” you tell him. “I’ll love you no matter what.”

You press a kiss to his cheek, and throw a beaming smile at him before leaving. You find Santi at the bar, and help him carry the beers back to the boys.

You’ve never seen this side of Benny. He’s throwing and dodging punches like it’s second nature. The man moves like ocean waves, fluid and constant, never once caught off guard. There’s a lot to be said about the pastime of men fighting each other, but honestly, Ben has found his calling.

Electricity crackles through the air as Benny swings his last punch. His opponent falls to the mat as you rise from your seats. All of you instantly begin screaming, roars of celebration filling the space. Ben throws his fist in the air, signalling his victory. It’s rare, this feeling. The five of you don’t win very often. This needs to be savoured.

Eventually, the cheering dies down, and Benny leaves the ring to go and get changed. The boys are all ecstatic, chattering with pride in their voices about their brother, their teammate, their best friend.

“Be right back,” you tell them, moving to slip out of the doors and down the hallway.

You strut into the locker room, eyes scanning the space for the man you’re looking for. You find him stood, unwrapping his hands. Before you know it, you’re running into him, wrapping your arms around his neck as he spins you. His bare chest is dripping with sweat. He’s covering you in it, but you couldn’t care less. You’re both laughing, joy and love filling the air.

“I’m so proud of you,” you breathe into his neck, still in his arms. Your feet finally find the floor, and you lean back slightly to stare up at him.

“Couldn’t have done it without you, pretty girl,” he beams at you.

You can feel the energy coursing through his veins. He’s thrumming with it, buzzing with adrenaline – it feels like he’s going to burst. He’s practically vibrating.

Before you can even register what’s happening, Benny pulls you back to him, smashing his lips onto yours. He skims his hands down your back to grab at the backs of your thighs, lifting you up effortlessly. You wrap your legs around his waist and press yourself into him.

The kiss is needy, desperate, pulsing - all teeth and tongue. Benny walks you backwards to slam you against the lockers, using the pressure of his body to lean forward into you. Your hands thread through his hair, pulling forcefully. He groans, deep and guttural, and it’s one of the most gorgeous sounds you’ve ever heard.

He’s grabbing at your ass as he dips his head down to leave open mouthed kisses on your neck, biting at the column of your throat. Your dress is practically around your waist, and you roll your hips forward, searching for friction. It’s your turn to groan now.

“Fuck, honey,” he murmurs. “Prettiest sound I’ve ever heard.”

He holds you up with one arm, and moves the other hand to twist into the waistband of your underwear. He’s pulling them down when someone bangs on the door, startling you both.

“Benny! Champion! Get out here, man, or we’re coming in!”

It’s Will’s voice, that deep tone instantly recognisable.

You pull your lips from Benny’s, your head dropping back against the locker with a clang.

“Shit,” he chuckles, gently pressing a kiss to your sternum.

“Shit,” you repeat, giggling gently.

Benny puts you down carefully, smoothing down your dress with those big hands of his. He fixes your hair next, sweetly moving it out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. He runs his thumb under your bottom lip, wiping where your lipstick has smudged.

“Do we look like we just made out?” you ask him, amusement evident in your tone.

“You do. I look like I just won a fight.”

He smiles at you, and you can’t help but smile back. God, this man. One minute he’s got you whining against the lockers, and the next he’s got you giggling like a schoolgirl.

“Come on,” you urge. “They’re gonna come busting in here any second.”

Right on cue, the door swings open, three men barrelling inside. They all jump on Benny, ruffling his hair and pulling him into a headlock affectionately. You watch from a short distance away, smile still etched on your face. You love them so much you’re worried your heart is going to burst out of your chest.

You look at Will, and find him smirking at you. Always a step ahead. Frankie grabs your wrist and pulls you into their celebrations. You’re being thrown around like you’re in some sort of whirlpool, dizzy with the joy of being with your best friends. You wouldn’t change a thing, even if you are a little lightheaded.

You catch eyes with Benny, and he winks. You know that the events of tonight aren’t going to change anything between the two of you. Your friendship is so solid, you’re convinced it can withstand anything. The five of you are connected, somehow. This unexplainable, invisible tether, binding you wherever you go. The kind of friendship that they write books about.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Frankie was the next person to kiss you.

Or maybe you kissed him. You’re still not sure.

The five of you were at a bar downtown, drinking and laughing. The boys were a few beers deep, muscles relaxing and minds quietening.

But not Frankie.

When he’d made the decision to get sober, he’d included everything. He wasn’t a man who believed in partially sober, or ‘California sober’. If he was going to commit, he was going to commit fully. Alcohol included.

Usually, it didn’t bother him. He could go to bars with his friends, happily crack open beers for them when they watched a football game, make a mean margarita when they hung out at his pool in the summer. But that night, he was on edge. He didn’t know why, couldn’t pinpoint any reason specifically, but he was on overdrive. His mind wouldn’t slow down - thoughts barrelling into him at a hundred miles an hour. He was debating going home to bed, before realising that he was designated driver. So, he’d sat back in his seat, taken a deep breath, and tried to pretend like he wasn’t about to combust.

You’d noticed. Of course you had. You, with your observant eyes, your careful gaze, your genuine smile. You’d noticed.

Will had too. He was keeping an eye on Frankie from across the booth, but he wasn’t worried. He knew you were watching him like a hawk. That reassured Will to no end.

“Oh yeah? Come on then, old man, put your money where your mouth is!” Benny’s yelling at Santiago, grabbing him by the bicep, up and out of his chair. You watch as he drags him over to the pool table, determined to prove himself.

No matter where you were, or what you were doing, somehow, Benny and Santiago always managed to turn it into a competition. You, Will and Frankie were always happy to watch – you usually ended up playing referee, only interfering when someone cheated or got too rowdy.

The two of them began setting up a game, leaving you at the booth with the other two.

“I’m gonna get some air,” Frankie says suddenly, standing up and making his way out of the door.

Will gives you a look of concern.

“I got it. Just make sure those two idiots don’t kill each other with pool cues, please,” you joke.

Will chuckles and nods, squeezing your waist as you move past him to follow Frankie.

Outside, you find him around the side of the bar, leaning against the brick wall. He’s breathing heavily, clearly trying to get a handle on things. You watch as he takes off his hat and runs his fingers through his hair. He slides down the wall, sitting on the cool ground, legs bent in front of him.

You walk over and sit down next to him, ignoring the feeling of the cold concrete underneath your bare legs. You lean into him slightly, placing your head on his shoulder. He breathes you in, and you feel some of the tension melt from his muscles.

Eventually, you speak.

“You okay?”

He wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in closer.

“Yeah, cariño, I’m okay,” he murmurs. “I’m usually fine in bars, it doesn’t bother me. Guess I’m just anxious tonight.”

You hum in understanding, before realising something.

“What’s today’s date?”

He looks at you with puzzlement written all over his face, but answers you anyway.

“March 16th.”

“Happy one year of sobriety, Francisco.”

You can see it all clicking into place in his head. The reason he’s been on pins all day, the reason he’s been so wound up tonight, unable to settle. You figured it out before he could. Clever girl.

“And I’m celebrating it in a bar, apparently. How appropriate,” he laughs. It’s a real, hearty, genuine laugh. You love when he laughs like this – so hard that he starts wheezing. It’s so endearing, it makes you want to cry.

“I can’t believe I forgot. A year ago, it was like, the biggest milestone ever. And I forgot.”

You can tell he’s almost disappointed with himself. But you’re not. No, quite the opposite, actually.

“You see how great that is though, right?” you ask him. “You’re so busy living your life now, working, being the best dad ever, that you didn’t even have to think about it. It’s not a bad thing that you forgot about it, Frankie.”

He pulls you closer, both arms wrapped around you, your head pressed into the crook of his neck.

“How do you do it, hermosa?”

“Do what?”

“Always know exactly what to say.”

“Years of knowing you, probably. Years of loving you,” you answer.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispers, but you hear him clear as day.

“No, I don’t deserve you. I’m so proud of you, Francisco.”

He pulls away from you to look at you earnestly. He smiles at you, and you grin back at him. If love could lift you up, you’d be floating, both of you levitating with it.

Frankie leans in closer to you, and you mirror the movement. You’re not sure who kisses who, but suddenly his lips are on yours, his hands moving to cradle your face. It’s careful, and it’s gentle, and it’s so full of gratitude and history that it takes everything in you not to break out into a grin. One of his hands moves through your hair as the other one caresses your cheek. You can’t remember the last time you were kissed so tenderly. Neither can he.

Unbeknownst to you, Will has come out to check on you both. He stops in his tracks when he sees the two of you wrapped up in each other. His heart swells in his chest, and he can’t help but smile. He knows that this won’t change anything between you and Frankie. It’s just the comfort he needed – you both needed. He makes his way back inside quietly, grateful for the both of you and the way you look after each other.

Eventually, you both pull apart. Frankie rests his forehead on yours, and takes the first full breath he’s taken all day. His shoulders relax, his jaw unclenches. He’s okay, thanks to you.

“Thank you, cielito,” he murmurs.

“For what?”

“Everything. Knowing me better than I know myself. Knowing all of us better than we know ourselves.”

“Someone’s gotta keep you all alive,” you grin, and he chuckles, the vibration of it settling into your bones, warming you up from the inside out.

He pulls you back against his side, wrapping his arms around you. You both sit against the red brick, cold ground underneath you, for what feels like hours.

“There they are!” Santiago yells when he spots you both.

“Mom, Dad, can we go home?” Benny jokes, clearly down one drink too many.

“Of course we can, baby,” you smile, pulling Frankie to his feet with you.

You all clamber into Frankie’s truck – you riding shotgun, the other boys crammed in the back. You reach for your drivers hand, and interlace your fingers, resting your palms in your lap. You hold onto him all the way home, and can’t help but notice how much lighter he seems.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Santiago kissed you next.

The five of you were having a pool day at Frankie’s, trying to cool down in the Texan summer heat. It was rare, for all of you to have the same day off, so you planned to make the most of it.

The four boys were already in the backyard when you arrived. Letting yourself in, you made your way through the house, briefly stopping in the kitchen to put your popsicles in the freezer. You’d purposely picked the strawberry ones, knowing they were Frankie’s daughters favourite. She was at her mom’s house for the week, but you knew she’d be back at the weekend.

“Hey, honey!” Benny yells when he spots you at the back door.

All of them turn to look at you, and you’re slightly taken aback by all the golden skin on display. Benny is wearing swim shorts with an inseam that can’t be any more than 5 inches, strong thighs just begging to be bitten. Will’s navy shorts compliment his blond hair beautifully, and Santiago’s green ones bring out the dark brown of his eyes. Frankie still has his shirt on, but it hugs his biceps just right. Damn, you think. I might just have the most attractive best friends in the world.

They’re all grinning at you as you survey each of them. You know they don’t mind being ogled just a little.

“Eyes up here, princess,” Santiago teases, no seriousness whatsoever in his voice. You scoff and throw your head back in a laugh, all of them simultaneously joining you in your amusement.

You put down your bag and kick off your shoes, before grabbing the hem of your dress.

“Give us a show, Miss Supermodel,” Benny whistles, winking playfully.

You peel your dress over your head slowly, wiggling your hips as you go. You’re left in a little black bikini that admittedly doesn’t leave much to the imagination. You don’t mind. You’re safe here.

They’re all whistling and cheering, make you laugh. You never feel more appreciated than when you’re with these boys. It’s everything. They’re everything.

“It’s like Sports Illustrated in real life,” Frankie grins, bumping your shoulder with his.

“Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” Will says quietly when you catch his gaze. You roll your eyes playfully, but smile at him genuinely, silently thanking him.

Your eyes flicker to Santiago. He has a look in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. It’s more than his usual appreciation. It’s hungry, hot, burning. It makes your skin prickle, the hairs on your neck standing up. You have to get away from his stare before you jump his bones right in Frankie’s backyard.

“Want me to make you a margarita?” Frankie asks, innocently breaking through the moment.

“Yes, please. That sounds amazing.”

He smiles at you before retreating to the kitchen, Benny following him in search of beer.

The heat doesn’t ease up all day. It’s sweltering, covering you all in a sheen of sweat that can’t seem to be wiped away.

Santiago’s gaze doesn’t help your warmth. Every time you look over, he’s surveying you carefully, eyes raking over your body in a way that makes your breathing quicken. There’s always been chemistry between you, sure. You have chemistry with all of the boys. But it’s never been like this with Santiago. Yes, you flirt with each other – it’s in both of your natures. But this is different. This is real.

You spend all day lounging around. Frankie keeps you topped up with margaritas as you make trips in and out of the pool, messing around with the boys. Benny hoists you up onto his shoulders in the water, throwing you up into the air as high as he can and laughing when you splash back down. You and Will throw a ball back and forth, doubling over when he overshoots and hits Frankie, who’s soaking up the sun in a lawn chair. In the late afternoon, Frankie fires up the grill, preparing to barbeque for dinner.

“Pope, you gonna help me?” he shouts from the deck.

Santiago looks at you, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip, before joining him. You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. There’s anticipation bubbling at the pit of your stomach, butterflies swirling. Warmth has settled in your core, and Santi’s heated glances are only fuelling the fire.

The sun finally gives you some respite in the early evening. You all settle on the grass, drinks in hand, laughing about nothing and everything. Benny’s telling you about his next fight, describing his opponent in hilarious detail. You look down, and realise your glass is empty.

“I’m gonna get a refill. Anyone want anything?” you ask, smiling as you watch Benny jokingly pretend to box his brother.

“Can you grab me a beer, princesa?” Santiago asks, pointed gaze trained on you.

You nod and make your way inside, praying that it’s cooler in the kitchen. The sun might have gone in, but the warmth in your core hasn’t left.

You reach into the fridge for the jug of margaritas that Frankie made earlier. You’re rising onto your tiptoes to fetch a new glass from the top of the cabinet when you feel a presence against your back. Santiago grabs one from the shelf and places it on the counter in front of you, leaning forward as he does it. His lips are brushing the shell of your ear, and you shudder out a breath.

“So you’re feeling it too, mi amor?” he murmurs.

“Yes,” you breathe. You’re worried you might combust if he keeps speaking to you in that deep, low, raspy tone of his.

“Don’t know what’s gotten into me. Can’t keep my eyes off you,” he whispers. He feels a shiver wrack through your body and chuckles.

You turn around to face him, and he steps forward, caging you in against the counter, arms on either side of you. You can’t go anywhere. You don’t want to.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he practically purrs.

He runs his thumb across your bottom lip, testing the waters. You catch it with your teeth and pull it into your mouth, biting down gently before sucking, not once breaking eye contact. He groans and tilts his head back, exposing his throat to you. You tangle a hand in the hair at the nape of his neck, and give him a look that says I dare you.

Santiago surges forward to capture your lips with his. It’s desperate and needy - a perfect representation of both of your states all day. He slips a strong thigh between your legs and pushes upward, making you whine. You’re pressing yourself into him, trying to get as close as possible. His hands are everywhere all at once – your hips, your hair, your back, your ass. He wants to feel all of you, and can’t decide where to start.

You feel drunk off of him as he kisses you. His tongue is making you melt, his steady hands the only thing keeping you upright. You could kiss him like this for hours, surrendering yourself to this man you call your best friend. This man you’ll love forever.

You’re so lost in each other that you don’t notice Will entering the kitchen. He clocks the situation in front of him and tries to exit silently, walking backwards out the way he came in. He knocks into the recycling bin, startling you and Santiago, causing you to jump apart and hit your head on the cabinet behind you.

“Shit, sweetheart, you okay?” Will asks, genuine concern etched on his face.

Santiago cradles the back of your head as he looks at you, eyes searching yours for any signs of pain.

“I’m good, I’m good, don’t worry,” you reassure them.

Will smirks at you and winks cheekily before he leaves, grabbing a beer on his way out.

“Oh god,” you groan, leaning forward to rest your head against Santiago’s chest. He strokes your hair lovingly, a laugh rumbling through him.

You both know Will isn’t going to say anything. He’s the most trustworthy one of them all. Always observing, never gossiping.

“Love you, hermosa,” he chuckles.

“Love you too, Santi,” you reply, wide smile painted on your face.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Will was the last to kiss you.

It had been a long time coming.

Some people think Will is hard to read. He’s introverted, quiet, a wallflower of sorts. But he isn’t hard to read. Not really. You just have to know what you’re looking at.

He’d called you up one Sunday morning, asking if you had plans. When you’d told him you didn’t, he invited you over for a day of pancakes and terrible movies. It sounded perfect.

Which is how you found yourself lying on Will’s couch, legs tangled together, your back to his chest. His strong arms have found home on your waist, wrapped around your middle. You’re not sure how you ended up here, as you started the movie on opposite ends of the sofa. No one’s complaining.

It’s rare, this kind of intimacy. Casual, effortless, easy. No thought goes into it. You just fall into each other as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Will’s always had that gift. He makes people feel comfortable. No matter where you are, or what you’re doing, one look from those big blue eyes is all it takes to calm you down. It doesn’t matter if you’re being shot at on a battlefield, or just getting overwhelmed in a supermarket. Will’s there, and he knows exactly what you need. You’re convinced the man might be a mind reader, honestly.

He’s not, in fact, clairvoyant. He’s just a listener. No matter what you’re talking about, Will’s looking at you like you’re the centre of his universe. He’d be perfectly content to listen to your voice, to watch the way your eyes light up when you tell stories like this forever. You feel like the only girl in the world, as you lay here in his arms.

You’re deep in thought before you decide to break the silence, voice floating through the warmth of the room.

“Have you ever wanted to kiss me?”

You feel him hum from behind you before he answers softly.

“Every day since I met you.”

You nod gently before relaxing back into him, sighing in contentment.

“Have you ever wanted to kiss me?” he asks, mirroring your question.

“Not a day goes by that I don’t think about kissing you, William,” you murmur.

His arms tighten around you slightly, pulling you impossibly closer. He presses a kiss into your hair, and another to your bare shoulder.

You sit in the silence for a while, letting the questions hang heavy in the air. It’s not awkward – no, it’s the exact opposite. It’s comfortable.

“I’ve kissed Benny, Frankie and Santi,” you confess quietly. You’re not sure why, but it just feels like something you need to get off your chest. You don’t want him to judge you.

“I know,” he speaks softly. He knows. Of course he does.

“Does it make you think differently of me?” you query. You almost don’t want to know the answer.

“Of course it doesn’t,” he replies earnestly. “Why would it?”

“I don’t know. Just doesn’t look good for me, I guess.”

“That’s not true, sweetheart. They’re your best friends. You love them. A kiss doesn’t have to change anything - not always, anyway.” He pauses. “Do you regret any of it?”

“Not at all,” you whisper.

“Exactly. We all think the world of you. You should know that by now.”

You shift and turn so that you’re sitting in between his legs, facing him. You press your forehead into his, and he smiles gently.

“I love you,” you say softly.

“I love you too,” he replies, grinning widely.

Suddenly, he jumps off the couch, pulling you up with him.

“Let’s go outside,” he prompts, dragging you out the door behind him.

“Will, it’s raining!” you squeal as he practically carries you into the backyard.

He grabs you by the waist and spins you around, both of you laughing. The downpour has drenched you both, clothes sticking to your skin, hair dripping. He puts you down and looks at you as if he’s reading the words off the very surface of your soul.

Gently, he pushes the hair out of your face, moving it to behind your ears. He uses his thumb to catch a raindrop that’s making it’s way down your cheek, swiping it away. You’re both soaked through, but you can’t feel the cold. You feel the warmest you ever have, love illuminating your bones.

Will leans down and presses his lips to yours. His hands are on your waist, and he pulls you closer, plastering you together. It’s tender, and it’s sweet, and it’s a perfect amalgamation of Will. You’ve never felt more at peace.

When he pulls away, you remember his words from earlier.

“Does this kiss change anything?” you ask, megawatt smile etched on your face.

“Everything, sweetheart,” he replies, grinning widely. “It changes everything.”

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

“You saved the best until last,” Will beams, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek.

The boys all scoff, laughing as they do it. You smile broadly, moving to peck his lips tenderly.

“Sure did.”

Benny and Santiago roll their eyes jokingly, while Frankie jabs them both with his elbows.

“Idiots,” he murmurs, still chuckling.

Will’s hand finds yours under the table. His fingers twist the ring you’re wearing absentmindedly, and he leans in to whisper in your ear.

“I love you, Mrs Miller.”

“I love you too, Mr Miller.”

“Guess I just had to kiss a few frogs to find my prince,” you wink at him, the whole table erupting into protests. You throw your head back in a laugh, your whole body vibrating with it. All four of them agree it’s their favourite sound in the world.

[beggingforxavier]

Your Good Boy

This is an alt! Follow my main blog: @beggingforxavierthorpe

About: After a friend sends you a picture of Xavier and another girl, jealousy fuels you. He'll know who he belongs to after tonight.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: P in V, no condom, dirty talk, oral (f recieving), masturbation (m), edging, overstimulation, use of toys, crying, super!sub!Xavier.

It had been two hours since Yoko had texted you a picture of Bianca and Xavier from a Nightshades gathering. Her hand was resting on his right thigh, him laughing at something she said, eyes closed. Ever since you saw it, it made your blood boil. Was this why he didn’t want you joining the Nightshades?

You’ve been ignoring his texts, him probably drunk and needy from Yoko’s mixed drinks. The buzzing wouldn’t seem to stop, but it eventually dies down.

“Well, he can just go see Bianca.” You grumble to yourself, shutting your eyes tightly to try to will sleep to take over. Even though it was late, you couldn’t sleep, all you were doing was tossing and turning in your bed. With a frustrated sigh, you sit up and run a hand through your hair. “Fuck it.”

Fueled with jealousy and rage, you sneak out your window, scaling balconies until you land at your boyfriend’s.

You’re about to knock on the glass pane when you see movement inside. You rub your hand against the dusty glass to try to get a better look. Xavier is sitting in his desk chair, hand wrapped around his cock, pumping desperately. His sketchbook is open on the desk, and his other hand is held above it, making the image move. Squinting your eyes, you realize that it’s a drawing of you riding his cock roughly, your hips slamming together, your mouth open and chest heaving. How he got so much detail into that one drawing surprises you, and the fact that he’s jacking off to you melts the edges of your heart. But as soon as you remember why you’re there in the first place, your jaw sets and you pound on the glass.

Xavier jumps from where he’s sitting, cursing, and tucking himself into his pants. He turns around and tucks himself into his waistband, and then shuts his sketchbook before coming to the glass.

“Babe?” He asks, confusion marring his features, his brows coming together. “What’re you doing here?”

Regardless, he backs up so you can climb inside, and you do.

“Did you have a nice night?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Uh, yeah. I tried texting you.” A small blush rises to his cheeks, and he rubs the back of his neck. “It was just a small party….I-did you see me just now?”

“Of course I saw you jacking off.” You set your jaw again and Xavier takes in your features, becoming even more puzzled. “You’re bad.”

“Why are you angry? Your body language is so off.” He shakes his head, reaching his arms out towards you, still a little tipsy and needy.

“Get on the bed. Now.” You order, kicking off your shoes.

Xavier doesn’t move at first, concern flooding his brain, but eventually he sits on the edge of the bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“How dare you fucking let her touch you like that.” You spit, cheeks flaming. Xavier cocks his head to the side, his eyes widening.

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you not want me in the Nightshades because you want to fuck around behind my back?” You counter, arms crossing.

“What the fuck? No! I don’t want you to join the Nightshades because they can be a bunch of assholes sometimes. We do dumb stuff and you’re too good for us.”

“And apparently you’re the biggest asshole of them all.” Xavier’s eyes widen at your hurtful words. You drag your phone out of your pocket, opening the picture and dropping it in his lap. “If her hand was any higher, she’d be touching your dick.”

“Baby-“

“Strip.”

“What?”

“God, I said fucking strip, Xavier. And don’t you dare touch yourself.”

Gazing up at you in a mix of fear and excitement, he obliges, pulling his shirt over his head and tugging his sweatpants down, leaving him bare against his comforter.

Your eyes harden as you look down at your boyfriend, pushing down your hurt feelings until all you feel is a need to make him pay. You walk over to his bedside table and open the drawer, pulling out his vibrating cock ring. You toss it at his chest.

“Put it on. On high.” You tell him, starting to tug your shirt up and over your head.

You kick off your leggings and then pick them up off the floor, watching him slide the ring down to the base of his cock and he presses the button three times, turning it to its highest setting. He groans immediately, his hips pushing up into the air as the vibrations are overwhelming.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh FUCK.” Xavier whimpers, the vibrations making his toes curl. “Baby, please.”

“No. You don’t have control over this.” You put your leggings on the end of the bed and climb up, straddling his thighs, sitting back on his firm legs. “You want to let other girls touch you? Then come home and jerk off to the thought of me? For that, you get punished. You can’t cum without my permission. Do you understand?”

Xavier nods wordlessly and brings his hands down to grip your hips, his eyes wide. You grab them and remove them immediately, pinning them above his head. His cock is hard still, his tip red and leaking. His chest is flushed, his stomach sucking in at the vibrations shooting up his length.

“Are you going to be able to be a good boy and not touch me?” You ask him, and Xavier groans, enjoying having you so close to him. He struggles against your hold a little, and you sigh. “That’s a no.”

“No, I’ll be good.” He says quickly, but you’re already moving to grab your discarded leggings.

He watches you as you wrap the material around his wrists and tie them tightly to the iron headboard. Xavier whines and struggles against the hold, just tightening them on his wrists.

“You couldn’t be good. Not a surprise.” You spit into your hand and bring it down to his cock.

“I’m your good boy.” He whimpers, eyes bulging as you collect his precum and start to stroke him quickly. “Holy shit!”

“Prove it.” You almost growl, your hand eager against his cock, stroking him without mercy. “Who do you belong to?”

“Y-You, I belong to you. I’m your good boy.”

“Say it again.”

“I’m yours.” His hips stutter, pushing up against your hand. “Please, please, wanna cum for you.”

Your hand is relentless on him, and he’s squirming, the vibrations and the pull of your hand too much. His chest is deep red now, and he has a look of desperation on his face.

“I-I….can I cum?” He whimpers, thrusting up into your hand. “Please, baby.”

You continue wordlessly, and he drags in a deep breath, trying desperately to hold it. You watch him carefully, and when you think it’s about to become too much, you pull off your hand and press the button to turn off the vibrations of the cock ring. Xavier lifts his butt off the bed, chasing your hand, frustration clear on his face as his impending orgasm dies instantly.

“Oh, my poor baby.” You climb up to straddle his stomach now, leaving his cock, weeping and solid. Reaching forward you grip his chin. “Open.”

Xavier opens his mouth, and you spit, letting a glob slowly slide past your lips down into his mouth.

“You want to cum, don’t you? Do you think you deserve to cum?” You ask, your voice softer now, stroking the side of his face.

“I’m sorry. Didn’t realize, I pushed her away...” He looks up at you, feeling small and shy. “I only want you.”

Satisfied with his answer, you lean over to his bedside drawer again and pull out the wand he bought you on a whim the year prior. The one you were too afraid to keep in your shared bedroom and forced him to keep here where no one will ever find it.

You slide down his body once more, leaving a little wetness in the center of his stomach, turned on by seeing him helpless beneath you. Settling between his legs now, your hand moves down, turning on the vibrating cock ring again, and he grunts. Xavier’s toes curl again, and he throws his head back, his eyes closing. Though, when you turn on the wand and press it right underneath his tip, his head shoots back forward, a moan ripping from his throat.

“Holy shit!” He cries, and you continue to hold it there. “T-Too strong.”

“You can take it. I know you can. Be my good boy.” You coo, running your hand up and down his sucked-in stomach and down his thighs, just caressing him.

Xavier curses, bucking a little against the jolts of oversensitivity that run through him, but you just hold the wand there firmer. It doesn’t take much before he’s a begging mess beneath you.

“Gonna cum…can I? Please, oh my fucking God, I can’t hold it-“ He wails beneath you, louder than he normally is.

“Cum, Xavier.” You answer quickly, and he does.

Ropes of hot cum land on his lower stomach, and some on your hand as well, sliding down the sides of his shaft. The groans leaving his throat are filthy, and when your hand comes down on his thigh roughly, the slap echoes against the lofty ceilings.

But you don’t remove the wand, and soon Xavier’s sobbing, pulling desperately against his binds, the vibrations too much for him. Tears roll down his cheeks, staining his pale skin.

“Ah-baby, stop. I can’t-“

“Do you need your safe word?” You ask calmly, and he shakes his head indignantly. “Does it feel good?”

“Hurts…fuck, don’t stop.” Xavier pushes past the tears, his mouth falling open, pain mingling with pleasure at some moments, and he tries desperately to keep his hips against the mattress.

“Can you give me one more, baby?” Your words are soft and soothing, reaching up to rub under his eye and collect his tears.

You bring your thumb down to suck on the salty tears, moaning softly. Xavier’s eyes are still brimming, but he watches you. His cock keeps twitching now, and he starts to splutter as he gets closer. A sheen of sweat dons his skin, and you think he almost looks angelic.

“C-Can I?” He manages, and you bite your lip to hold back a self-satisfied smirk.

“Mhm. Go ahead, baby.” You tell him.

It only takes another minute before his cock is dribbling again, a sad, low flow down the sides of his cock and pooling at the base.

You immediately turn off the vibrations on both toys, pulling him carefully out of the cock ring and tossing them to the side.

“You were so good for me. I’m so proud of you. ‘M gonna take care of you now. You want my pussy?” You question, and he nods as you reach up to untie his hands.

When they’re finally free, Xavier rubs his wrists and then brings his hand to your hair, stroking softly.

“I’m sorry.” His voice breaks and you climb up, straddling his waist now, and lean down to kiss him softly.

“I know.” You reach between you and stroke him slowly, trying not to make it painful for him, but he’s overstimulated so he hisses. Despite the pain, you can feel him hardening against your palm. “I’m gonna ride you.”

Xavier nods again, and soon you’re sinking down onto his cock. Your wet cunt swallows him easily, inner thighs wet from watching him fall apart so many times and beg to cum. You slide down until he’s as deep inside you as he can be – and you rock your hips. The cum from his prior orgasms sticks messily to your core and butt now, making you even slicker. His hands grip your hips, helping you move with sloppy rolls. Moans spill from your lips, and you press your hands to his chest to get more support. Oversensitive, he’s still a mess beneath you, gasping, his eyes wide but mind empty as he fucks up into you. His eyes shut tightly as he tries desperately to keep his orgasm at bay.

“B-babe…sweetheart, not gonna last.” He manages to get out, but you don’t stop, chasing your own orgasm now.

Xavier’s fingers grip your hips tighter, enough to bruise and he bucks up into you as he cums a third time, barely anything dripping out of him at this point. His face is screwed up and he moans high in his throat, almost a whine. He pants and your hips still now on him, Xavier being fully fucked dumb, gazing up at you in adoration.

You pull off him, knowing he’s too oversensitive to continue, settling back on his stomach. His eyes trail over your chest and back up to your face, his eyes widening as through his foggy brain he realizes that you didn’t cum. Embarrassment floods through him, and he reaches up and cups your cheek. His eyes fill with tears again, feeling guilty and so, so spent.

“I’m so fucking sorry. Come up here, ride my face.” He offers, and you finally smile that self-satisfied smirk down at him, able to tell how spent he is, but he’s so desperate to please you that he’d do anything.

You climb up his body, hovering over his face. Xavier immediately sinks two of his long fingers inside of you, and his tongue seeks out your clit. He sucks lazily, and you slowly grind your hips against his mouth. His tongue flattens against your clit so you can get the most friction possible.

He groans against your pussy as you roll your hips faster. Gripping onto his hair by the root, you use his mouth. His fingers drag in and out of you, your juices dripping down his wrist. Xavier slurps at your messy cunt, until you fall apart above him, legs shaking, and head thrown back as you moan his name.

Rolling off him, you take his fingers into your mouth and suck on your juices, before leaning down and pressing your cum-covered tongue into his tired mouth. He groans and sucks on your tongue, tearing another moan from your throat. After a moment, you pull away and smooth his sweaty hair back away from his face.

“I love you so much, Xavier. You did so good. Made me so proud tonight.” You murmur, leaning down and peppering his face with kisses. Xavier takes in a shaky breath, and slowly starts to weep against your shoulder. “I know, baby. I know. Let it out.”

“I-I love you too. I t-tried to be good for you. I’m sorry.”

“You are my good boy. I promise.” You nuzzle against him. “I was just showing you who you belong to. Was it too much?”

Xavier shakes his head, rubbing at his tears. You kiss them away and press your forehead to his.

“I know who I belong to. I deserved to be punished.” He sighs and looks up at you, tears starting to dry up. “I won’t let something like that happen again. I don’t want you to feel like you aren’t the most important girl in the world to me. If you really want to join the Nightshades, I’ll make it happen.”

You make a face, and he chuckles a little.

“How about we clean you up, baby? You’re covered…” You grin smugly as you look down at his cum-covered body.

Xavier nods, shutting his eyes for a minute and letting you get up to grab a damp cloth. Turning back, you take your time studying him. You’d never been prouder of him before. You can tell he’s starting to drift off, the night too much for him.

You start to clean him up, very gently rubbing the cool washcloth against his tired, warm skin.

“I love you.” He mutters, half asleep.

“I love you too, baby. Sleep now. I’ve got you.”

[wosowrites]

Leah Williamson x Reader (Stop the Teasing but Don’t Stop)

warnings: flirting, slight s3xu@l teasing

prompt: in which Leah is completely head over heels for the reader, and the reader knows but chooses not to say anything to keep teasing Leah.

a/n: based off this brilliant request here and then another one that suggested writing it from Leah’s POV

I had loved y/n y/l/n since I was 24. But she had always been perfect, and beautiful… and it took me a couple years to grow into my own skin. From the second we joined the Arsenal academy, we were best friends. Then we made our debut for the first team on the same day, together, and then england… and then I realized I was in love with her.

But it felt like it was too late. She had dated a couple footballers before. A couple being Ona Batlle and then briefly Jill Roord. I felt as though she still saw me as being the same, weird haired, crooked smiled girl I was when we first met.

And that’s all I could think about while sitting in Alexs kitchen.

"I mean- I like the way she talks. And I like the way she ties her shoes super slowly to make sure the bows are centered and perfect. And when she’s tired she gets so mad but all you have to do to replace the anger with softness if feed her. I like everything about her, Alex and she just doesn’t care," I said to Alex Scott, my head resting on my elbow as I drank a gin and tonic in her apartment.

"I don’t know why you don’t tell her directly. It’s kind of a her problem she doesn’t know because you make it obvious," Alex said, taking a sip of her own drink. "I clearly don’t. She would say something if she did know," I sighed. "Leah, maybe she’s just scared. Y/n is… loving yes but closed off. She always looks kind of scared when it comes to any kind of confrontation. She��s soft and maybe she just wants you to make the first move," Alex said, resting her hand on my shoulder.

I wasn’t so sure.

Your POV

You sat on the couch of your own apartment alone. The rain was coming down heavy and all the lights in your apparement were off, making the room gray and dull. Depressing.

You were thinking about Leah. Thinking about how you liked to tease her, and how you knew she liked you but just couldn’t bring yourself to act on it. Your brain was full of what ifs. What if she was just teasing you as well? What if she didn’t actually like you? What if you said something and the whole team dynamic was off?

Leah’s POV

The next morning I got up, got dressed, ate a little bit and then left for training. I had crashed at Alex’s apartment but that happened so often i had spare everything over there. Pulling into the Arsenal training facility, I noticed y/n’s car parked. And then I saw her walk out. Her long hair we’re in two loose braids as she always tied her hair later on. She wore Arsenal sweatpants and an Arsenal tee shirt as well as white running shoes. She looked perfect.

I got out of my car and locked it before jogging towards her. "You look good y/l/n," I said, winking at her slightly. She didn’t blush. She never blushed. Instead she smiled and looked up at me a little. "Thank you. You don’t look bad yourself," she answered.

And then she checked me out. I knew it was teasing, but could it possibly be something else? Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe she actually-

But my thoughts were cut off when her eyes wandered up my arms and then back to my lips before looking forward again.

I thought I might pass out. She was so, so beautiful.

Weeks went on. Weeks where loving her started to become less fun and more painful. But that pain only surfaced when I was alone. When I was with her, things felt right and good.

She pushed me over the edge during a team dinner at a fancy restaurant. I hated every option on the menu but I ended up ordering some weird sun fried tomato pasta, knowing y/n would probably eat it.

I saved a spot for her beside me, but she was running late. She came in ten minutes after the original meeting time. That was the first time she made me dizzy that night.

Her natural hair was loose and fell down her back, looking amazing and she was wearing black dress pants with a black vest type of top. She had pearls on her neck and ears and when she sat down I noticed she had a purse which matched. "Thank you for your arrival Miss y/n," Kim joked, making her roll your eyes. "Sorry sorry I had to pick something up at the store. You guys clearly didn’t check the menu before coming here. Leah isn’t going to eat any of this," she said before rummaging in your purse and pulling out a ham sandwich from Tesco. "I’ll give it to you when the rest of the food arrives?" y/n said, looking into my eyes.

I wanted to kiss her then and there. And for whatever reason I told her that. "I could kiss you right now," I told her, and I saw some of the girls roll their eyes in the corner of mine. "Well not here Williamson," she winked.

She then struck up conversation with Beth and Viv, and I was left staring into space.

She ordered some fancy thing I couldn’t pronounce and when it came she went to grab the sandwich for me from her bag. But she couldn’t do it without teasing me. She laid her hand on my thigh, almost under my dress and then leaned down to get the food from her bag, grabbing it with her right hand. She sat back up, her hand still very much there, and maybe even a little under the hem of my dress. "Here," she smiled, sending me a wink.

My breathing was heavy and I know she knew that. My thighs were closer together than ever but right when I thought her hand would be there the whole supper, she moved it.

I think I might have seen stars.

Your POV

What was I doing?

I loved teasing her. I loved the feeling of victory I got when she so clearly was affected by the smallest touch, the little glance and the most insignificant action. It made my heart full, it made me feel like a winner. The only problem was that maybe I hadn’t stopped to think what it did to her.

But she told me herself later that night.

I said goodnight to the girls and then got into my car, purposely avoiding Leah. Driving a little over the speed limit, I rushed to my apartment and then into my bedroom. I let myself fall down onto the bed, sinking into the foam mattress.

My brain wandered with thoughts of Leah, images of my hand on her legs. But I snapped myself out of it to change into sweatpants and a sports bra. I needed to get her out of my head.

And then a knock echoed through my apartment and I knew who it was instantly.

Leah’s POV

I knew I had to say something to her when she left the restaurant without saying good bye to me.

"What the fuck is her problem?" I breathed out, complaining to Katie. "I mean she basically had her hand under my dress and now she leaves without saying anything to me?" I said. "Ew. Wait at the dinner table? Really? Gross," Katie groaned. "Not the point! It’s weird right?" I sighed, walking in the direction of our parked cars. "Yeah. I'd say," Katie answered.

"I’m gonna talk to her," I decided.

And that was that.

Suddenly I was standing at the door of the apartment of the girl I was head over heels for. My fist hovered over the surface before finally knocking rhythmically. It took a second for her to answer, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew I was going to be the one at her door. "Lee..." she said, using the nickname my teammates called me but she never used. "You need to stop," I started saying, pushing my way past her and into the middle of her apartment. "You need to stop leading me on. Stop checking me out and the ignoring me, stop... touching me and then not saying goodbye. It's confusing and it hurts," I said, tears falling down my cheeks.

I was still wearing my short black cocktail dress, looking extremely fancy next to her. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she hadn't thought that her actions could have hurt me like this. "I'm sorry-" she said, her eyes filling with hurt. "I dont want to hurt you. I've never ever wanted to hurt you. I just- I feel like my brain cant comprehend that someone could actually like me for me. I dont need to try with you and... I mean I knew you liked me but I didn't know know." she said, clearly hoping her words made sense.

"But I do. I do like you and If you don't like me back please let me go and stop putting your hand under my dress at restaurants," I said, my chest heaving and my body shaking from the fear, pain, excitement and stress I was feeling. "Okay. But... say I did like you. Then I could keep doing it..."

There it was again. The flirting, the teasing, the words that made me turn red. But this time she looked genuine, and her body was getting closer to mine.

Before I knew it, she had grabbed a hold of my right hand in her left and her right hand was on my waist, slowly rubbing my side. "Yes. Well- not at restaurants because Katie thought it was gross but... other places," I told her, my breath catching in my throat as she came closer to me, lips only centimetres apart. "Here?" she suggested, her nose touching mine. "Yeah. Here."

And then our lips were tangled, our hands were roaming and our minds were at peace. What better world than the one where I got the confirmation that the girl I've loved for what felt like forever, loved me back.

[sinsinsininning]

A little bit softer

Chapter 7

Eustass Kid x crewmate!fem!reader

TW: drinking, cursing

Sorry it’s been so long for an update, work and life have been crazy and I barely got this chapter written.

—————

Your group tried to ask for details of your conversation with Jon, but you didn’t let them know anything.

Those rat bastards couldn’t be trusted.

In an effort to stave off boredom and suspicion, you hopped from group to group. Taking time to visit with everyone and practice a little flirting, not that you needed it but it passed the time. Wire was probably your most common victim tonight, though he gave as good as he got.

“Aw come on Wire! You can’t be calling it off already.” You pout when he announces his last round of the night, it wasn’t even that late. He pats your cheek softly and gave you a smile.

“As much as I’d love to stay darling, there’s a handsome young man I’ve had my eye on and I think we’re about ready to go.” He consoles you, giving you a small kiss on the top of your head. You’re giggling as he saunters off to find his date for the night, leaving you with Killer alone.

You don’t spend much time with Killer one on one, he’s a very stoic and closed off person, even more so in public. Despite his mother hen type personality, he was probably the crew member you talked to the least, except maybe Kid. Still you felt bad leaving him alone right as soon as Wire’s gone, although he probably wouldn’t mind.

The two of you sit together, sipping your drinks as you watch the crowd. You’ve switched to straight soda now to avoid getting any sloppier and it seems to’ve helped a little.

“So…. what’s your type?” Killer suddenly asks.

You choke on your drink for a moment, he pats you on the back roughly. After a little coughing, you burst out laughing.

“Where’d the fuck did that come from?”

“Curious.”

“Mhmm yeah sure. Curious.” You roll your eyes. “Doesn’t have anything to do with trying to get me and the Captain together?”

“You’ve noticed that?” You’re surprised that he’s surprised, you start laughing again.

“Yeah I have! You’re not subtle, none of you are subtle!” You gesture widely to the crowd, no one pts you any mind.

“You never answered.” He reminds you.

“Oh is it First mate’s order then?” You chuckle, blowing bubbles into your drink.

“Yes.” You’d throw your drink at him if you thought you could win the ensuing scuffle.

“You first.” You face him, giving him all of your attention, chin propped up on your hand as you watch him tense up. “What’s your type, Killer?”

His neck is red, you realize with glee. Your normally unflappable first mate was blushing. Part of you is a little sad you didn’t picture him the other night in the showers, but you tried to push that thought from your mind. You didn’t wanna end up with a red face as well.

“I uh- asked first.” He coughs and turns his head.

“Come on! You’re asking me I think I should get something in return.” You whine, it apparently works on him- not shocking.

“Fine, I like short women, with bright hair. Like pink or blue.” He finally answers. You start to get up and he shouts after you. “Where’re are you going?”

“To find pink hair dye!” You cackle, trying to dip into the crowd and lose him, but he’s faster and soon you have a large hand gripping the back of your chest harness.

“Nice try. Was funny though.” He easily carries you back, about to set you down when a shout stops him.

“Oi the fuck you doing with her?”

Blocking your path to the booth is Kid, glowering at Killer as you dangle from his hand. Behind him is the same pretty lady from before, her eyes are wide as she looks between you and Killer. You wave to her with a bright smile, she waves back slowly.

“She thinks she’s funny and trying to run off.” Killer says, not belying the real story. “I’m bringing her back to the booth.” Kid just looks annoyed now, his eyes on you now.

“You’re causing a lot of fucking trouble today.”

You just grin at him, still feeling energized from messing with Killer.

“Hey, you good?” The woman behind him asks, her eyes are only on you. You recognize this look, Hop has taught you Girl Code before and you’ve definitely done it as well.

“Shit I forgot you were there.” Kid mumbles, but Killer is watching her intently, his hand on you is tense. Your smile brightens even more.

“I’m good, my buddy is just mad I won’t wing man for him.” You give her a thumbs up before Killer drops you suddenly. Kid’s hand is quick to snatch you by the front of your harness, before you hit the ground, it’s only a moment before he sets you down. A little flustered by all the movement you try to smile at her again. “I like your hair, very pretty blue.” She smiles genuinely now.

“Thank you! I like yours too.”

You grin up at Killer and back at Kid, a plan on you mind now. A quick glance at the clock tells you you’ve only got 10 minutes left.

“Hey Boss, I forgot I had some shit to go over with ya.” You step over to her and gesture back to Killer. “Cool if we trade? I promise he’s good company.”

The woman grins at you, getting what you mean. She leans forward in an exaggerated manner to whisper in your ear.

“Thanks, the redhead is a little boring so good luck.” You both giggle and trade spots, she immediately is tugging Killer off to a new table. It doesn’t take much for him to follow her.

“The fuck just happened?”

“Sorry Boss, had to help Killer out and get him off my back.” You didn’t think he’d actually be mad, he seemed to be barely aware of her existence. He confirms it by sitting where Killer had and downing the rest of his friend’s drink.

“Meh it’s fine,” Kid shrugs, not particularly concerned. You check the clock again, 4 minutes to go. “What was he bitching about now?”

“Hmm?” You turn away from the clock to scan the crowd for Jon. “Oh uh he was asking me about weird stuff.”

“Weird stuff? The hell does that mean?” He looks over the crowd now to see what you’re looking at. His fingers snap in front of your face. “Hey pay attention.”

“He was asking about my type and shit.” You we’re distracted and couldn’t think of a lie, plus you wanted to see how’d Kid react. It was instantaneous, your captain went red faced and stiff, you kinda liked it.

Knock that off and look for Jon.

Kid didn’t say anything for a moment, just watching you for a moment as you kept looking around. Finally he stood up, catching your attention as he came around to your side, he pulled on your wrist gently.

“Let’s go. Outside.” You didn’t move for a moment, confused, he didn’t pull harder or let go. Just stared down at you.

“Oh I’m actually wait-”

“I know who you’re waiting for.” He cuts you off, scowling now as he tugs on your wrist again. “Outside. Now.”

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[6:19 pm]

cw: mostly angst, i said shit a few times, read more bc she's a little long

Being in a relationship with Jeno was much different than being just friends. He still knew you better than anyone else thanks to many years of friendship, but that didn’t mean there weren’t difficulties in the relationship, especially so early on.

There was the issue in the first few months of lack of affection. Going from friends to lovers was simple sure, the titles changed, but Jeno was still treating you like a friend at first. He showed you almost no affection which made you question whether or not you were really even in a relationship. You both talked it out, and the problem was resolved.

Now there was the very apparent issue of being busy. When you were just friends it was easy to just take a break from each other until the stress was gone or you were both less busy, but that’s not how you wanted your romantic relationship to work. You weren’t trying to point fingers at just Jeno, you were busy too, but it had come to a head about a month ago when Jeno had forgotten your birthday.

You were never one that was for big celebrations on your birthday, but you were kind of excited to see how your birthday with Jeno as your boyfriend would be different. The difference had been that he miraculously remembered the dinner he had helped plan with your friend group and showed up 30 minutes late. He was able to recover from that with a lot of groveling, apologies, and a day fully dedicated to you.

Needless to say he felt very bad and had promised to never make a mistake like that again. But here you were, on your one year anniversary sitting in your favorite diner, alone.

You had both agreed on nothing big, your anniversary fell in the middle of the week and he had been so stressed and busy with work. You hadn't seen him in person for just over a week, just facetimes and text conversations that were always short because he fell asleep 90% of the time.

You had both made the plans for dinner a few days ago, he had confirmed the time and told you that he couldn't wait to see you, only after he made you promise you hadn't gotten him anything. You had lied, of course you got him something, he just wouldn't be getting it today now.

You gave him a 20 minute grace period, maybe practice was running long and you'd be getting a text soon. Then 40 minutes passed with no communication and you just ordered for yourself. Then an hour later with nothing from Jeno, you paid your bill and went home. He hadn't responded to any of your texts and your calls went straight to voicemail.

Unfortunately for you, you could tell from Instagram stories that Jeno was very much safe and having fun with his friends drinking beer and bowling like it wasn't your anniversary. To say you were furious would be an understatement. He made the plans, he wanted to go out even though you insisted on just doing something intimate at home, he left you sitting alone in a restaurant feeling sick to your stomach with nerves over whether or not he was ok.

The next day, you ignored his texts, letting him know with one text that you were fine but needed some space from him to clear your head. He had spammed you with confused texts asking what he did, if there was anything he could do, if there was anything you needed, which though sweet, just deepened the hole he dug for himself. He still had no idea.

Now, you were sitting on your couch watching your favorite guilty pleasure reality show when there was s series of heavy knocks against your door. You heard your name, "Can you just let me know that you're ok? You've been ignoring me all day."

You scoffed, he didn't like it when the shoe was on the other foot? Serves him right. He persisted with his knocking making you sigh with a roll of your eyes before you walked over to the door and pulled it open.

"Oh, thank goodness. Why have you been ignoring me? What did I do?" Jeno questioned.

You turned and grabbed his neatly wrapped gift, pushing it into his chest, "I don't know, how about you ask the guys? Happy anniversary, Jeno."

The door closed, as he stared blankly at the door with his jaw hanging. Shit.

He started again with the knocking, his mind running a million miles a minute trying to think of some way to fix this. Of course you didn't answer. Hell, he wouldn't open the door if he was in your shoes either.

The knocking had stopped, which saddened you because Jeno had put so little effort into fixing things. You felt like you had done a good job at stopping the tears, but now you couldn't help it. Maybe you were better as friends, maybe being in a relationship had completely ruined all the history you had together, maybe that was Jeno leaving your life for good.

You openly sobbed, doing nothing to fight the endless stream of tears or loud sobs.

You didn't even know how long you had been crying when a knock came from the door. It was probably one of your neighbors begging you to shut up because your ugly sobs were getting irritating.

You wiped your face and stood straight, ready to apologize when you faced them, but it wasn't a neighbor. It was Jeno, "Can I come in? Please."

You stepped aside, watching as he paced across the length of your living area. "I don't know where to start," he mumbled to himself.

"Ok, then I'll start. Do you even want to be in a relationship with me?" You asked.

He froze, looking up from the carpet with a hurt look on his face, "Baby, of course I do. Why would you even ask me that?"

"Things were easier when we were just friends Jeno, you have to admit that. There was less pressure on us to put any effort for anything. There have been so many issues between us since we started dating, and I don't know if I want to keep putting our friendship at risk if I'm going to keep getting disappointed and hurt."

"Keep hurting you?" Jeno questioned out loud.

"For the first four months of us dating you wouldn't kiss me or hold my hand and I was the one who planned all our dates. Even though you were the one to ask me out and you knew how hesitant I was for things to change between us. You forgot my birthday and showed up to a dinner you helped plan half an hour late, and a year into this you ditched me on our first anniversary to hang out with our friends when you planned the date. I was worried sick wondering if you were even safe, blowing up your phone only to see that you were perfectly ok getting drunk while I sat alone in a restaurant." You told him.

He sighed, taking a second to gather his thoughts, there was no use in him arguing, because you were right. "I know me saying sorry isn't going to fix things, but I still feel like I should say it. You're right, I've been a shit boyfriend, but I want to be with you."

"You keep saying that but then you continue to mess up bigger than the time before and I get more hurt, I don't want to keep getting hurt Jeno."

He pulled you into his embrace, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, "I don't want to keep hurting you. You deserve so much better than me, I know that, but I also know how much I love you and it will always be you for me. There is no combination of all the letters of any language that could put into words the way you make every time I think of you. You're on my mind every second of everyday, I see you in the sunshine on a sunny day, I see you in the flowers that bloom in the warm weather, and the plant you make me keep in my room. I see you in all the little things that make life so great. I never want to lose you."

You shed a few tears, tilting your head back to look him in the eyes, "I need you to show me that then Jeno, I need you to try because I don't know how much more I can keep letting you get away with."

He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, "I'll make it up to you and be the best boyfriend and best friend all in one. You're it for me baby, and I'm going to show you that."

You nodded against his chest, "I'm trusting you with my heart, Jeno."

[jaylver]

BAD IDEA RIGHT? — L.HS

synopsis: Getting over an ex was supposed to be easy? Wrong. You couldn’t resist yourself from going back to your ex, Lee Heeseung, after just one phone call from him and you even ended up lying to your friends about it. All of the trouble and emotions you went through after the break up was meant to keep you away, but can’t two people reconnect? Seeing him for a night was a bad idea, right?

pairings: non-idol!heeseung x afab!reader

genre: exes to fwb/situationship, slight angst

warning(s): slight hints of suggestiveness, profanities, running back to an ex </3

wc: 1024

a/n: immediately had an idea after listening to olivia rodrigo's new song! hope you enjoy this one and please leave a feedback as always <3 reblogs are appreciated too! muah!!

masterlist | © jaylver 2023 all rights reserved

Bumping into your ex at a party wasn't what you had in mind.

It was a night you were meant to enjoy with your girlfriends, being all dolled up in your best dresses and having your makeup done perfectly, you were ready to meet someone tonight. That idea came crashing down when you caught sight of him, Lee Heeseung, your ex.

You haven't heard from him in months after the break up. Although it was a friendly, mutual break up, things just weren't the same as it was. A three year relationship down the drain was painful and hard to fully let go, you didn't even know what went wrong. Somehow you also managed to avoid him most times, but apparently it just wasn't your night, was it?

"Y/N, please don't let him affect you," Wonyoung practically begged, personally witnessing your messy cries after the break up and wishing anything but for you to run back to him when the wound was still healing.

"I'm not," you said defensively, but frowned. "I think,"

"You think?"

"I'll avoid him and he won't affect me. Out of sight, out of mind,"

"You better," she said almost threateningly.

The rest of the hour passed by with you drinking sadly and Wonyoung off to somewhere else, which meant you were all on your own. Heeseung was nowhere in sight and you were glad, hoping it would stay that way. 

It didn't.

An unknown number flashed on the screen of your phone. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to pick it up, but you did anyway, your instincts were telling you to do so.

"Hello?"

"Y/N?"

That voice.

"You didn't change your number," the voice from the other side said, amused.

"But you did," you breathed out, setting down the cup in your hand. "Heeseung,"

"I'm alone right now,"

"And?"

You could hear him exhaling, a beat passed. "Can you come over?"

"Are you insane?"

"No,"

Even though he couldn't see it, you rolled your eyes. "Are you feeling reminiscent? Or you just needed someone?"

"Not just someone, I need you,"

"Hee," you didn't realise you'd used your usual nickname for him until a second later, it was too natural, he was natural to be with. "I'm not just some hook up booty call you hit up after months of not talking,"

Heeseung scoffed. "You know I don't think of you like that. I never would. I miss you, genuinely, I do. I did some thinking lately and honestly, I want to see you,"

It was most likely a moment of weakness, but you could feel your self respect crumbling. You couldn't lie either, you've missed him as well, and the worst part was him calling you up and you were willing to go back to him.

"Send me your address." You hung up. The more you talked to him, and heard his voice, the more you felt your heart on the edge of combusting.

You were stupid. Your thoughts were practically screaming at you the moment you got out of the house and into your car. You know you were done with him, that you two were through, but God, when you think of him or look at him, you couldn’t help but let yourself run back. This time, you were not immune to him. At all.

Seeing him tonight, it was a bad idea, right? 

Fuck it, it’s fine. 

Up on the second floor was his new place. There he was standing at the door, smiling widely as you approached. The devilishly charming smile that had you hooked in the first place pulled you in, and that’s when you knew you weren’t leaving anytime soon. 

“Heeseung,” 

He looked as if he couldn’t actually believe you were standing there right in front of him. After months of not reaching out or seeing each other fully, both of you were equally surprised by one another’s changes. A second passed before he grabbed a hold of your arm and pulled you in, closing the door behind him. 

“Is it bad to say that I’ve missed you?” his voice came out in a whisper, you were barely inches away from his face, the familiar scent of his cologne welcomed you to melt into his hold further.

“It is,”

“Can I have you for the night?”

“Just for tonight?”

“It could be more than that if you like. Just say the word and I’ll be yours again,”

Your brain was haywiring, it was genuinely just going ‘ah’ and you couldn’t hear your thoughts.

“Fuck it.”

Everything passed by in a blur. The next second you found yourself in his bed and suddenly it was three in the morning where you were wide awake, Heeseung however was sound asleep next to you. Sneaking your phone out and opening the groupchat with your girlfriends, you read over the hundreds of messages, ones where they said they wouldn’t be home as they’re staying over at someone else’s. You typed in an update, telling them you were about to sleep, but never mentioned where or in whose sheets.

Oh, the walk of shame was going to be something the next morning.

Heeseung ended up dropping you off in the morning and bidding you goodbye before leaving. The casualness from him had you doubting your choices, but you stayed silent as you made your way to your dorm, where your friends awaited you. Maybe breaking the news that you hooked up with your ex wasn’t the best choice either.

“You did what?” Wonyoung stared at you with her coffee mug almost dropping to the ground.

“Y/N…” Yujin’s voice trailed off in disappointment, and you sat there swallowing down the dread.

“Yes I know that he’s my ex, but can’t two people reconnect?” you tried reasoning, but the other two didn’t seem impressed. “I just tripped and fell into his bed,”

“Sure you did,” Wonyoung sighed before taking a big sip out of her mug.

“Hey, what’s the worst thing that could happen?” you threw your hands up, trying to play it cool. “I only see him as a friend.”

Biggest lie you’ve ever said. 

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

[aarafox]

On Stolitz, Desire and Misunderstandings

I’ve thought about them so much for the past few days that I just have to put my thoughts somewhere. This might be far from structured/coherent but contains everything that has been running around in my brain lately. Feel free to interact with me about this because they’re driving me insane (in a positive way).

Quick disclaimer: I’ve watched everything in nearly one sitting a few days ago and am new to the fandom, so I might be unaware of commonly known info or things the creators have said or confirmed. If you come across any of my questions that have been answered already, please forgive me for not knowing and feel free to enlighten me! Let’s begin~

 The main thing that got me thinking about this so much is Blitz’s line in ep 7 when he brings Stolas home after their failed date: “Don’t act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear, all the time.”

But the thing is, he is wrong. We as the viewer know this, how Stolas chokes on his food when he sees that Blitzy calls, how he lunges to pick up the phone and how his eyes turn into little hearts when he hears the question. If anything, Stolas is smitten with Blitz.

He even calls Gabriella a “mood” when she asks Alejandro why he won’t love her. It’s indisputable that he’s thinking about Blitz here.

And how much he actually likes Blitz becomes even more clear to us at the start of season 2, when they’re kids. Stolas falls in love at first sight and blushes several times.

And then, 25 years later, he is delighted to meet Blitz again. After the initial (joking?) assumption that Blitz has come here to “ravish him”, he tries to make gentle conversation and asks him how he’s been. Blitz is the one who decides to initiate sexual relations—that is, he pretends to start it, and decides to keep it up when he hears Stolas chirp about how happy he is that it’s his “first ever friend” who wants to do him. But Stolas, before this, was surprised by Blitz’s advances and unsure how to react. Stolas, if anything, has to believe that Blitz is very sexually attracted to him.

That is why Blitz’s line in episode 7 fascinates me this much; one would think the reverse of what he says is true. Stolas has no reason whatsoever to believe that Blitz ever wanted more from him than sex/the grimoire, especially with how their relations began. So it strikes me that apparently, to Blitz, it hurts him to think that Stolas wants nothing else from him. He even begins to cry there in the van as he begins to reject the prince.

See the tears in his eyes? Why is that? Is he embarrassed? Angry? Does he feel guilty for putting Stolas in a “disgraceful” picture? Is he thinking about entirely different things that happened to him in the past?

And Stolas cries when Blitz is gone, because, well, he does think of Blitz as more than a sex friend. He was so excited to be asked out by him, he made himself look pretty, tried his best to make conversation with him, thought Blitz was actually taking him on their first date ever! He thought Blitz had called him out because he wanted to spend time with him, so he did his best to make the date a success, but all he received from Blitz was, well, nothing… He even tried to end the night on a more positive note by asking Blitz to come inside for something other than sex, perhaps to drink some wine and talk about what happened (or watch a movie, or cuddle 🥺). But when he hears that his sentiment of just wanting to spend time together has never come across—not now, not ever before—and Blitz actually believes Stolas just wants to frolic, that’s when Stolas leaves it for what it is and ends up crying.

(God I feel so bad for him, my heart)

And he spends a LONG time trying to show Blitz, via his texts, that sex is not the only thing that he’s after.

But he only gets one-word responses from Blitz. Nothing, literally nothing to keep going on. It’s no wonder he loses faith in that whatever they had could ever be anything more. And Blitz probably has commitment issues or is afraid of things not working out and he ends up keeping Stolas at a distance—until it’s too late.

And it just kills me that he does care about Stolas but somehow won’t admit it, won’t show it. And yet he sounds so hurt there in that van, when he accuses Stolas of merely wanting to be his sex friend. And he actually cries. For that reason, and for many other reasons not all clearly laid out for us.

Meanwhile Stolas has been crushing on him for 25 years. It’s only natural for him to propose the deal they made: he wants Blitz to be close to him (and he assumes Blitz enjoyed sex with him that first time, since he slept there for the entire night while at first only claiming he could do it “real fast”) and Blitz wants his grimoire. This is the perfect way for Stolas to get Blitz to be with him, because, frankly, he doesn’t have many other reasons to meet up with him. So they make this deal: Stolas gets to be together with him for once a month, and Blitz gets the grimoire. Perfect right?

Except when Stolas discovers that Blitz doesn’t even begin to know how much Stolas actually cares. That’s why he keeps sending those long texts, he tries so hard to let Blitz know they could be doing anything else and he’d love that too. That night after the date he already begins with those attempts, by telling him he enjoyed spending time with Blitz and suggesting things to do inside which Blitz misunderstands for him trying to get him into his bed.

But damn, if that was all Stolas was after, he wouldn’t get so depressed that he’d drink until passing out. He is heartbroken. And somehow, for some reason, so is Blitz. The first thing he does when he gets home is opening his phone to a selfie he took of them while Stolas was asleep.

And others have pointed this out as well, but Stolas doesn’t know about this picture and that Blitz smiled while he took it. On all the pictures Stolas has of Blitz, Blitz looks like he’s not enjoying himself at all.

So what must he think when he sends Blitz his reply that he could be in the hospital for a while in case he wants to visit, and Blitz doesn’t answer?

Well, that Blitz doesn’t want to come. That he doesn’t care enough.

Indeed, if there’s anyone who hasn’t been showing his true feelings or intentions, it’s Blitz. Stolas compliments him, calls him darling and “his” Blitzy, makes himself pretty for their date, and (for instance in ep 2 of season 2) blushes big time multiple times.

He’s had it bad for Blitz for ages, but he (correctly? incorrectly?) concludes that this is not mutual. And he has every reason to think so! Blitz treats their sexy adventures as a business transaction, is all serious and stoic to Stolas about it except for the rare occasion where he does show how much he likes it, like after Stolas rescues him from the demon hunters and he grins and seduces Stolas before kissing him.

But the times when Blitz talks about them to others? Those are moments Stolas doesn’t know about and doesn’t get to see, like when Blitz talks to Striker and stutters like mad trying to explain what they are and aren’t. He never outright says that they’re not dating. He doesn’t even deny Millie’s words when she says they’re boyfriends.

(M&M totally know I’m wheezing)

It just drives me insane how Blitz isn’t honest with his feelings, especially towards Stolas. He probably chooses to believe that Stolas only wants to have sex with him, because that’s more convenient and safer for him, and enables him to keep Stolas at a distance.

Perhaps that is why he never properly responds to Stolas’s texts, never jumps to the opportunity to agree to Stolas’s indirectly asked questions or suggestions. Getting closer might be a bad idea somehow—but after those texts he has to understand what the prince’s intentions are, right? They just don’t talk about it at all; we also aren’t told whether they still do it or not, or just exchange the book like Stolas’s texts suggest. This is striking compared to season 1, where we got scenes of them in bed or talking about their next meet up.

It isn’t until Stolas’s life is in actual danger when Blitz begins to realise how much he cares.

“He can get hurt?” His eyes are trembling with disbelief. After that he finally sends Stolas a text first, and then begins typing again, and stops. I imagine he started typing a yes, but stops himself for some reason. I really hope they’ll show us what Blitz was thinking in that moment. Why would he not go to see Stolas? Because he feels guilty? Because he’s afraid he’ll start caring even more when he sees him wounded in that bed?

But again, for Stolas this just means that he doesn’t care, and the poor owl curls up and turns away from his phone.

[aswallowssong]

Sicktember 2024 #1: “I’m not hungover, I’m just sick.”

Did @starstwinkleplanetsshine and I create a Heroes of Olympus College AU of our Heroes of Olympus AU? Of course we did. If you haven't read her Daughter of the Sea in the base AU, you can read it on AO3 here!

Percy was decently sure he had been fine when he went to bed.

He and Angie had had one of their Twin Nights, which sometimes meant drinking and going out, and sometimes meant staying in and eating takeout and watching old movies they'd watched as kids.

They’d done the latter, snuggling in Angie's bed and watching Atlantis while wondering back and forth if they would be able to swing a trip back home for Estelle's third birthday. Tickets were pricey, and they hadn't been planning on going home for Spring Break, but their mom had said something about it to them the last time she'd called, and they knew it wasn't her intention, but it made them both feel sort of bad.

Not that Percy was thinking about that anymore. He'd gotten home around midnight, hoping that he would be able to sleep in and enjoy a Saturday without having to be in the pool at six in the morning.

His body, it turned out, had other ideas. Instead of sleeping blissfully into the late morning, he was knelt on the bathroom floor while his body tried to turn itself inside out. 

It had come out of nowhere, and if he was honest. He was lucky he'd even made it to the bathroom before he started puking. He'd gone from a dead sleep to awake and moving too quickly, and it had done nothing good for the other things that had started to become apparent as he knelt there, praying to any god that would listen for it to stop.

The dizziness had come second, or, at least the realization of it had. He hadn't even noticed that being dizzy was the reason he'd nearly gone careening to the floor when he'd scrambled out of bed. Coupled with how cold he was, enough to run awful chills up and down his back, and the awful full-body ache that had settled in, he had to be realistic.

He was sick. Not just “under the weather” either, like Annabeth sometimes said, but truly and properly ill.

It wasn’t long, maybe five minutes and a few rounds of hell, before Annabeth pushed the door the rest of the way open and flicked on the lights.

To say they were murder on his throbbing head, add that to the list, would be an understatement, but he was relieved not to be alone. Especially since about a minute before, he’d rocked forward so hard to heave that he’d whacked his head on the porcelain.

“God, Perce, what the fuck.”

Mad? was as far as his brain got before he was reeling again, but he didn’t feel her hand on his back, comforting him like he wanted.

Why was she mad? Was she mad that he was sick? He knew that she had midterms coming up, and really couldn’t afford to get sick herself, and that he had a ridiculously flighty immune system compared to her rock-solid one, but she wasn’t normally hostile to him.

“Huh?” he managed, holding his head between his hands while his elbows rested on their toilet seat. He squinched his eyes shut, reaching out a hand that was shaking way too badly and trying to find the handle to flush his stomach away.

Annabeth’s hand swatted at his, and she flushed the toilet, shifting her weight back again to cross her arms.

“Why do you do this?”

She’s mad you’re sick, again, his dizzy, pounding brain chided him. He, Leo, and Jason had passed a cold back and forth most of the winter, and he’d gotten over it for maybe the fifth time just the week before.

“I…” he started, and then stopped to stifle a gag into his fist. “I’m sorry,” he eventually rasped. “I know it’s annoying–”

“You have to stop drinking so much when you go out with Angie,” she said, frustration heavy in her voice. “It sucks that I have to deal with the aftermath of you two deciding to overindulge in whatever you decide is the ‘drink of the night.’ I have drafts to work on today, and that second interview this week that I need to prepare for. I don’t have time to deal with you hungover all day.”

It was as if the wild spinning of his head and stomach stopped for a moment. Which, would have been nice, except he realized why Annabeth was so angry. She thought he’d decided to get fucked up with his sister, not that he was sick.

Which, his stomach reminded him, settling back into heavy nausea with a painful cramp, was very much the case. 

He was about to tell her as much when he was sent over the bowl again, retching violently enough to nearly make him hit his head again, which he would have if he hadn’t blocked it with his hand. 

It was a minute before his body let him rest, and he pushed backward enough that his back hit the wall, letting it bear his weight as he dipped his head between his knees. Somewhere in his fever-brain, he recalled Cady making him do that when he was really dizzy and nauseous, but he couldn’t come up with anything else that might have helped.

Annabeth was still standing in the doorway, he could feel her presence there, and he heard himself whine before rasping, “Beth–”

“I don’t want to hear it, Percy. Seriously–”

“Beth, I– I’m not hungover,” he pleaded, closing his eyes so he didn’t feel like he was seasick. Or, airsick. It was worse that he’d ever felt on a plane, though. He definitely hadn’t been this sick in a long while. “I’m not hungover, I’m just sick.”

It was quiet for a moment before Annabeth said quietly, “Bullshit.”

“I sw–swear,” he pleaded. “Angie and I didn’t even drink last night. We decided we’re trying to save–” He took a breath, trying to steady himself so his voice would stop shaking so badly. “Money. To go see Stellie for her birthday.”

Silence hung in the bathroom again, though Percy nearly didn’t notice. It felt like nausea was pulling him under in waves, and it was hard to focus.

Then, there was a freezing hand on the back of her neck, and he heard her sigh.

“Fuck,” she whispered, and then her hand was gone, and he started to hear her move.

He couldn’t focus very long on where she’d gone or what she was doing, because no sooner had the thought come to ask her that he was sick again, and everything in his brain was focused on not falling over while he dry heaved miserably, nothing left in his system for him to throw up.

How long she was gone was a mystery, but he was slouched over the bowl, his forehead resting on his forearm, waiting to be sick again, when she came back.

“Perce? Honey, can you sit up?”

All the frustration was gone, and pity had taken it’s place. Percy didn’t even care, he was so relieved she wasn’t mad at him anymore. He took a shaky breath and sat up slowly, hoping that it wouldn’t set the world spinning even more than it already was.

He blinked his eyes open. Annabeth was a little blurry, since he wasn’t wearing his contacts, but the look on her face was clear enough. He must have looked awful.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, and she shushed him, pushing his bangs back and resting her hand on his forehead.

“No, hon, I’m sorry,” she said, her frown deepening. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped to that without figuring out what was going on, I’m just so stressed out with other things that I let them take over.” She was still frowning, moving her hand to cup his cheek. “That fever’s awful.”

“I feel awful,” he said, letting himself lean into the coolness of her hand. “Everything hurts and I’m so nauseous.”

“I know, honey.” Annabeth rubbed her thumb over his cheek before biting her lip. “Do you think you can get up from here? I know you prefer the couch to the bed while you’re vomiting so I moved your pillow and the quilt your mom made you out there.”

“But, you draft at the table,” he said, blinking at her slowly and trying not to let anxiety start in his chest. He really didn’t want to throw up anymore, but he knew he wouldn’t be so lucky. “It’ll be distracting to try to draft while I’m puking out there.”

“Honey, I’m not drafting today,” she said simply, and even blurry, he could see in her eyes that she meant it. “I’m going to take care of you.”

“Cady takes care of us when we’re sick,” he said automatically. Annabeth wasn’t really the caretaking type. Every so often she would, but he knew she didn’t love it, and it didn’t come easily to her. Usually, when he was sick, they called Cady, and she came over and dealt with him so Annabeth could still get things done. That, or she shuttled him over to her and Angie’s apartment, where he stayed on the couch until he was good to come back home.

Annabeth didn’t have time to be sick. She had so many amazing and important projects she was working on. He couldn’t take her away from them because he had what was probably a nasty stomach virus from hell itself.

Still, she was looking at him with such earnest determination that he might have fallen in love with her all over again.

“Yeah,” she said, shrugging simply. “But, maybe I want to. You’re mine.”

He nodded, a weak smile crossing his face, and let her pull him off the floor.

[phunockery]

Trigger warning allergic reaction, random etymology facts pertaining to sexual acts, talking about death, the melodrama of trying not to die.

(Spoilers) If you're reading this, it means I survived the night.

This is a timed log after finding out I poisoned myself. I don't think I'll die from it but this sucks and I'm feeling emotional and melodramatic.

11:00ish

If I die tomorrow, I didn't mean to. I promise. I just wanted a drink. I usually don't, it usually upsets my stomach. But tomorrow I turn 34 and I was feeling frisky and wanted something to drink while I play my traditional birthday (and sad mood) game: Sonic 2. So I grab a Kirkland hard seltzer from the fridge. Never tried the brand, but it was black cherry and I like that.

I decided to try to time some of my runs, nothing serious. Beat a couple of my pbs feeling good.

After drinking about 1/4th of the seltzer and I notice that my head is feeling funny and I wonder how a 5% drink was making me feel like that. My game play gets bad, but I beat my PB on Chemical Plant 2.

Aquatic Zone is a mess, mild improvement in act 2... And I start feeling itchy. Hives are building. I grab some Benadryl, chew two and as my chest tightens I look up what could be causing this.

11:15

Apparently there is a filtering process called finning that run the alcohol through animal products, like gelatin.

That comes from pigs.

That I am deathly allergic to.

The company does not have to disclose this information and honestly this a best guess, because what else would make me allergic to an alcoholic beverage?

Now I am sitting here, trying to differenciate anxiety and anaphylaxis. Taking deep breaths, epi pen in hand. I'm not going to call 911 because I can't afford it, if you're mad, join the club. (🦅 Insert screams of eagles and freedom here 🇺🇲)

It's almost midnight. I am almost 34 and I am live blogging my allergic reaction because I have nothing else to do

'call 911' that is far too expensive and I don't want to leave my kids with massive amounts of debt because I decided to get treatment (eagle screaming and freedom noises here 🦅)

I messaged a few friends, but they're busy. My friend is probably going to kill me in the morning when she sees this if I'm not already dead.

I'll probably live... I once survived a wedding where the brides mother unintentionally tried to kill me. I was lucky then because there was a doctor in the house... But that was worse. I had lost my ability to breathe immediately.

I'm just itchy. Soooo itchy. I am covered in hives... It doesn't help that my other friend made dinner and no one put cast iron that has cooked bacon and allergy together yesterday... Which I suffered for. Granted I suffered less then than I am now. Now now, but still itchy and cramps.

11:30

I hope to make it to cramps. I should. I can still breath. I am just so itchy. I hate this. I should be getting rest so I can pretend to have a good birthday. Instead I will pretend to have a good birthday and deal with aaaallll the fallout of having a full allergic reaction.

11:35

Chest is no longer feeling tight. A friend has message saying they are going to bed. I sent a message asking if they have a few moments to just sit with me. I think it was too late, they're offline.

11:40 I'm still itchy. My legs, my arms, my scalp, my chest, my armpits... It all itches. This really sucks. (Remembers that sucks used to be a euphemism for bjs and this fact gives me the chuckles of strength).

11:45

double checked messages to other friends. All unread. Some are online, some are not. But I am still alone so you, future reader, remain my emotional support pen-pal.

The skin around my eyes is itchy like I was crying. I don't think I've been crying. I'm upset, but not like that.

Good news: this won't be my worst birthday.

My worst birthday was in 2009. I was BMT for the USAF and on my 19th birthday, two days before graduating, I was acting unusually confused, was sent to the hospital and diagnosed with viral meningitis. I was booted from the USAF shortly after recovering.

11:50 Hell this isn't even as bad the last 7 years that just got progressively worse. I was let go of my job on my 30th birthday and became disabled two days later. (Barely related). Last year I was coerced into going to a water park (I don't do good with loud noises any more) and I wound up breaking a tooth trying to swim in the shallow waters. My ex was not comforting about it and suggested that I not make a scene in front of my kids because they would get upset.

11:55 I can breathe a bit easier. Still left unseen and I turn 34 in 5 minutes.

3 minutes to go and I am trying to fight the sleepy of the Benny's until I feel less itchy.

2 more minutes, I really hope I don't die, my friends don't deserve to have a corpse in their guest room

12:05 made a happy birthday post on TikTok. My voice is definitely affected, but I can talk and breath.

Still left on unseen. I feel bad that they're going to wake up and find out that a friend reached out for help and help wasn't available. That is going to suck. Hopefully I'm still alive and can tell them they're good and deserve sleep.

12:20 a rando has become the first to wish me a happy birthday. A friend messaged to let me know they're glad I'm safe and they're going to bed so they can work in the morning. They hope I find someone to talk to. It looks like it is just you and me

12:23 the stomach has put in its bid for attention. I will spare you the details. The Benny's are taking effect. I am soooo tired and the body itches slightly less. Except around the eyes, it still feels like I've been crying

12:29 my apologies to my friend: I fear I have destroyed your toilet. It should be fine in the morning.

12:30 the stomach still hates me. I hate me. I just want to go to bed.

12:40 tired. Imma go to bed with my Epi Pen on the bedside table. I wake up to everything anyways. The sudden inescapable lack of breath should be more than enough to wake.

I could really use a 'there there's and a hug. And now my eyes are itchy again, at least I know why this time.

Good night.

[invisibleraven]

during a stressful situation, a character can be seen running back into their house ‘’forgot my keys’’ *runs back out* *runs back in* ‘’forgot my wallet’’ feels like a Rulie thing to me. Please and thank you

Julie could not get comfy on the couch. It has been a pretty constant problem as her pregnancy progressed, but tonight it seemed worse. There was a twinge in her back and side, that no amount of squirming around seemed to abate.

"You okay darlin'?" Reggie asked. "It's like you got ants in your pants."

"Back hurts," Julie replied. "The baby is not happy with their accommodations any more and is making it known."

"You want a pillow? Snack? Hot drink?"

Julie shook her head, but reached out to squeeze his hand to thank him for asking. "I think I'm just gonna walk around for a bit see if that tires them about. Call me back when they're done their showstoppers."

"I'd rather watch Bake Off with you," Reggie replied, pausing the show. He got up, helping her around the house, insisting that he didn't mind-spending time her was always a joy rather than a burden.

"You're too sweet," Julie insisted, leaning up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, then turning it into a real kiss.

Then a massive roll of pain swept through her, making her wince and clutch at her stomach. "Okay, that hurt."

"Is the baby coming?" Reggie asked. They were a week or so away from their due date, but the doctor had warned them that that was an estimate, not exact science.

Julie bit her lip, then wince again, breathing out as the pain passed. "Might just be. Let's go to the hospital just in case."

Reggie felt immediate panic-sure they were prepared, but it was still stressful. He ran and grabbed the hospital bag, plus the carseat, just in case. Then he helped Julie to the car. The car that was still locked.

"Fuck, I forgot my keys," he swore, running back into the house to grab them. He helped Julie into the car, then patted himself down.

"And apparently I also forgot my wallet. Hold tight darlin', be right back."

"Hurry," Julie replied, clutching at the handhold as another wave of pain came.

Reggie nodded, rushing back to grab his wallet, his phone, and ensuring he locked the house behind him. Then bolted into the car and drove as fast as he was legally able to, thanking whatever deity was watching over them as they found a parking space close to the door.

They grabbed the bag and dashed to the door-well Julie more so waddled, clutching her stomach and breathing as what she was sure were now contractions came again. Thankfully the nurses there was efficient and friendly, getting her into a room quickly, her water breaking once she was all gowned up.

"Okay, so this is happening," Julie breathed out. "Cariño can you activate the phone tree?"

"Already on it Jules," Reggie assured her, texting Ray, Flynn, and Luke to let them know that Baby Molina was on their way. They had already agreed that only Ray would be allowed in the room, but the rest of their large group of friends could visit later, but they would be kept informed every step of the way.

"This hurts so bad," Julie moaned as the hours passed by-her dad gone to get a coffee. "Why did we decide to do the whole baby thing?"

"Because we wanted to bring a beautiful life into this world to love and cherish?" Reggie offered. "I know it'll be worth it in the end, but you let know what you need, and I'll get it for you."

"An epidural?" Julie joked.

"Not until you dilate another two centimeters," Reggie chuckled.

"Then just hold my hand and let's walk around the room."

Reggie lost track of how many times they toured around the room honestly, but it moved things along, however slowly, until Julie got the pain relieving drugs. Helping her suck on ice chips, mopping her brow, and only taking breaks when both Ray and Julie insisted he at least get something from the vending machines.

It was late the next afternoon when the doctors declared it was time to push-both Reggie and Julie were exhausted, having barely slept and ready for this whole ordeal to be over.

Reggie didn't care that Julie all but cut off his circulation as she squeezed his hand, or that she was screaming in notes high enough to break glass. He wished there was anything he could do to spare her this pain, but they all had to endure it.

Thankfully it wasn't too long before the doctor proclaimed "It's a girl." before the screech of a newborn baby filled the room. Reggie could barely see her as the tears filled his eyes, just watching the slimy thing being handed to Julie. He swiped at the wetness, looking down at his daughter. Even covered in god knows what, she was beautiful.

"She's here," Julie cried, even as she handed the baby over and got cleaned up.

"Worth it?" Reggie asked.

"Totally-but I think I'm good with one," Julie sniffled, pulling him down for a kiss.

"I'm good with that," Reggie replied, resting their foreheads together as the doctors finished stitching Julie up. "Good job mami."

"You too dad."

"You're not gonna be papi?" Ray asked, having stepped back to give them their space.

Reggie shook his head. "That'll always be your title. Well I guess it's now abuelo."

Ray sniffled at that, pulling Reggie into a hug. "It's an honour mijo."

"You ready to meet your daughter?" the nurse asked, holding a swaddled bundle out to Reggie. He nodded, then took a seat in the chair next to Julie's bed, oh so carefully cradling the most precious bundle he'd ever held.

"Oh baby girl..you look just like your mami," he cooed. "Except...she has my freckles!"

Julie giggled at that. "I bet she'll get your eyes too. She's gonna be a heartbreaker."

Ray got to hold her next, and eventually their friends streamed in later to bring gifts and well wishes. The nurses totally looked the other way when the room was crammed with visitors.

"So what's her name?" Tia asked as she handed the baby over to Julie.

Reggie beamed from his spot next to his family, and surrounded by everyone who were just as much his as Julie and the baby. Something he never thought he would have, and felt so grateful for, especially now.

He looked at Julie, who gave him a nod, and he beamed before turning to address the assembled crowd.

"Everyone, we are so pleased to introduce you to Luna Rose Molina."

[laundrybiscuits]

(grace coming out of the void tag)

Robin and Eddie take him to the zoo on the 24th. They wander around all bundled up, looking at the animals in their enclosures, all organized by habitat. Ronnie’s here too; she and Robin are walking arm in arm, and nobody’s giving them a second look. Steve knows it’s probably because folks assume they’re just friends, but it still warms him a little.

In Hawkins, the whole town would’ve lit on how close they are immediately, chewing over every little thing. Everyone knew Robin Buckley, Richard and Melissa’s kid, crashed her parents’ car when she was 15, never really dated much; everyone’d want to know who her friend was and what they were up to. It’s not even in a bad way, just people being neighborly. They don’t mean any harm by it.

Hopper had said: It’s nice knowing people care, ain’t it? 

Here, people don’t care, and Robin can walk around with her girlfriend and look at the otters. 

“So, what do you think about the Lady Veronica?” Eddie elbows him gently, hands stuffed in a jacket that’s probably too thin for the cold. They’ve fallen a few paces behind Robin and Ronnie, wandering aimlessly between the enclosures, and Steve’s been wondering if there’s a way he can lend Eddie a hat or something without it being weird. 

“She seems okay,” says Steve. “Robin seems happy. I don’t know.”

Eddie nods. “Yeah, Robin’s been a lot more—settled, lately. Calmer.” He’s quiet for a moment, and Steve knows they’re both thinking about the last girl Robin dated, an aspiring actress who’d run hot and cold a lot. Robin had called Steve a lot, those three or four months they’d been seeing each other; he’d had to talk her down from spiraling into panicky paranoia practically every day. When it turned out Greta had been cheating on her pretty much the whole time, Steve had had the guilty, shameful thought that at least his phone bill would finally catch a break. 

It had taken a long time for Robin to start dating again. Ronnie doesn’t seem anything like Greta: she’s a round-faced, sensible physician’s assistant with a cheerful, straightforward way about her. Jeff introduced them, apparently. Steve’s not completely sure what the connection is, all he knows is that Robin spilled her drink on Ronnie when they first met, and apparently that had sealed the deal for both of them, somehow. Robin had called him that week to sigh dreamily about what honestly sounded like a pretty awkward first date, and Steve had never been so glad to start running up his phone bill again. 

“It’s early days yet,” says Eddie. “But I think this one’s going to stick around for a while.” 

Steve nods slowly, not so much agreeing as just thinking. 

“Hey.” Eddie nudges him, sounding a little awkward. “Maybe I shoulda said this earlier, but—sorry to hear about Laura, man.”

“Oh,” says Steve, surprised. “Robin told you, huh? Yeah, I—it’s fine. Just wasn’t meant to be.” 

He grimaces at himself. “Sorry, I mean…don’t know if Robin told you this part too, but it really should’ve ended a lot earlier.”

“Why didn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” says Steve. 

“Hm,” says Eddie, like he wants to say something else.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Eddie sighs, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets, rolling his shoulders a little. “Nothing. It’s not supposed to mean anything. Just surprised, I guess; from what Robin said, she seemed pretty perfect for you.”

Steve snorts. “Robin’s been at me to break up with Laura since, like, two seconds after we started dating. There’s no way she told you we were perfect together.”

“Yeah, well…Robin also thinks you should leave Hawkins, and it’s not like you’re gonna be doing that any time soon.”

Steve has to choke down his automatic response, which is who says I’m not. Because he’s not, he can’t. 

It’s not like he’s never thought about it. Joyce asks sometimes, in a roundabout way. Robin’s brought it up once or twice. The last time had been last year, when they’d been hanging out on Boxing Day, and she’d said, “I don’t get what you see in this place.”

He’d been about to say I have to be here in case—

He stopped himself just in time, because he’d known the look Robin would've given him. Pitying, because he’s a dumbass who hasn’t learned after six years that nothing’s going to come after him out of the dark again. 

She doesn’t know that, though. Not for sure. 

And he’s making good enough money at the print shop to pay his mortgage, and he knows Hawkins like the back of his hand. So that’s all there is to it. 

Eddie doesn’t seem phased by Steve’s silence, just says, “Oh hey, the lion house. We should go in there, you’ll like it. C’mon, I’ll buy you some hot chocolate afterwards.”

There are other people in the world, Steve knows. Other guys, even, if Steve were actually thinking about leaving Hawkins for real. 

It just doesn’t seem to matter. Steve’s dumb heart makes its choices without any input from his brain, apparently. Every time he looks directly at Eddie, it’s like something tightens in his ribcage a little more. It’s not even anything special, just—the way Eddie’s throat looks when he tilts his head. The way his hands move, the square shape of his fingers and wrists. The sudden way he smiles sometimes. All of it is like a vise, pressing in until Steve can’t breathe normally anymore. 

He’d thought that maybe some time away from Eddie would’ve helped some. It hasn’t. At the end of the day, despite everything, Steve still just likes who he is around Eddie more than any other version of Steve Harrington.

[cloudlessly-light]

Find me where the wild things are (3/5)

Chapter title: Take a look at what you’ve done Summary: Emily is just shy of 18 when she meets her mother’s new boyfriend, Aaron Hotchner. He’s 30 years older, he’s brooding, he’s kind of boring, he’s gorgeous. And she was screwed Word Count: 3,4k Rating: Explicit Warnings: Smut, power dynamics, oral, dirty talk, daddy kink, daddy issues galore

The next day she wakes up feeling just as restless as she had the previous night. She had spent hours tossing and turning, had contemplated going into the bedroom where he was probably asleep by now, but the fact that it was her mother’s bed forced her to stay put. She knew that they had already gone too far, they had crossed basically every line possible, but the thought of fucking her mother’s husband in her bed, was apparently a line Emily wasn’t ready to cross.

She stretches as she gets out of bed, pulls her hair into a messy ponytail in search of coffee. He wouldn’t be home, he had left for work hours ago. But today was Friday, and if his team didn’t get a case he’d be home for two whole days, and Emily could not wait. Her mind wandered to what things she could do to him, what he could do to her, but still a lingering worry that he’d come home full of regret in the back of her mind. He wasn’t a bad man, she knew that, so she was sure that he had some level of regret for cheating on her mother, but Emily was selfish enough not to care. She needed him, her body thrumming with the steady beat of arousal, she needed him like she needed air.

Her phone dings just as she sits down to drink her coffee and she wants to roll her eyes at JJ’s name flashing on her phone, the blonde nothing if not nosy.

JJ: Do I need to keep the spare bedroom at home ready for you when your mother tries to murder you?

Emily: Ha ha you are so funny. It’s fine, she’s not here, won’t come home until late August, that’s months away ;)

She smirks at JJ’s instant reply and she figured that her best friend was probably in a similar position, drinking coffee and curing the hangover she most likely had.

JJ: So something happened?

She thought about lying, silently wondered if telling JJ was a bad decision, one person knowing was already one too many. But she had told JJ everything for as long as she could remember, she was one of her oldest friends and she trusted her more than anyone. Besides, she had already told the blonde her plan, and Emily knew that she wouldn’t let it go even if she tried.

Emily: Yes, but I’ll tell you more about it tomorrow.

JJ: Tease :(

This time Emily did roll her eyes at her friend. If she only knew what kind of tease Aaron had been. She thought back to the previous night, how strong he looked, how in control he was as he whispered filth as she gagged on his cock. And her legs pressed together in response.

“Get it together.” She mumbled to herself.

 *

 Aaron could barely focus at the office, thoughts of Emily and what had happened running through his mind on a loop. He thought he would wake up with more guilt than he had, because he did love Elizabeth, but with Emily it was hard to focus on anything else besides the way his body reacted to her. He could feel his cock stir at the thought of her, felt the sweat on his temple just from remembering her mouth around him, felt his heartrate increase when he heard her whisper daddy as she begged him to come in her mouth.

This side to him that he didn’t knew had existed until now, it felt like he was finally letting out something that he had suppressed his whole life. It was all-consuming, and he knew he was screwed.

He wasn’t a cheater, at least he hadn’t been. Until her. He knew that Emily wouldn’t say anything, that if he came home that night and told her to stop she would, but the thing was, he didn’t want to stop. It was as if she had fallen into his lap like a gift wrapped in sin with her mother being gone and her staying at the house instead of at her friend’s like she had initially planned. She was addictive, she was dangerous, but he knew he didn’t want to stop. It was wrong, he knew it was but for once in his life he didn’t care about right and wrong, all he wanted was to feel her skin, to hear her moan his name.

It probably wasn’t worth the risk, wasn’t worth his marriage, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about the repercussions, at least not now.

 *

 Emily is reading a book in the study when he comes home. She’s engrossed in the book, doesn’t hear him walk through the empty house until he finds her and he smiles at the way she’s leaning against the back of the couch, oblivious to his presence. He quietly walks up to her and his hand wraps around her throat.

She jolts at the sudden touch, almost screams in fear until she looks up at sees Aaron standing behind her, a chuckle leaving him at her reaction.

“You scared the shit out of me.” She huffed and his fingers tightened around her neck slightly, making her gasp.

“Language.” He told her evenly and she wanted to scoff at him, wanted to roll her eyes but there was something about the way he looked at her that stopped her. “I think we should talk, how does that sound?”

“Okay.” She breathes and nods the best she can. When he lets go of her throat her skin burns from where he touched her.

Aaron walks around the couch to sit beside her, leaning against the armrest to face her and waits until she’s done the same. He looks at the short dress she’s wearing, swallows down a groan at the sight of pale thighs and focuses on her face.

“You said last night that you won’t tell.” He starts and she nods again.

“I won’t.” She lets her head fall slightly to the side as she studies him. “Don’t worry about me thinking that this is anything more than a few weeks of fun, I have no illusion of anything more than that. You’re married to my mother.”

He chuckles, the sound forced and dry as he scratches his jaw.

“I am. And that won’t change.” He looks at her to show how serious he is about that part. “This would be something we both know is wrong, but apparently keeping away from you is impossible.” He sees her smile, confident and smug and the urge to kiss it away rushes through him. “So when Elizabeth comes back, this never happened, any of it. How does that sound, is it something you think you could do?”

Emily huffed, the sound sarcastic as she crossed her arms across her chest.

“Like I said, I have no illusion of this being anything more than fun, an itch that needs scratching.”  

“Good.” He nods and it’s silent between them for a few moments. Then he stands up and reaches for her hand. She takes it and when he pulls her up he can already feel the dark need for her taking over. He can tell that she notices the slight change too, a gasp leaving her as he looks down at her, towering over her without her shoes.

Emily plays with his tie as she stands a tiny bit closer to him.

“So we’re doing this, daddy?” She smirks at the way the growl rumbles in his chest before he kisses her and she eagerly returns it. She had waited for this all day.

“Tell me,” He breathed against her lips before reaching for her dress, the fabric ripping. “were you good today?” He licks over his bottom lip as he takes her in, only in a small thong covering her as she looked at him with wide eyes.

“I liked that dress.” She told him and in response he turned her around and bent her over the armrest of the couch.

“That was not an answer.” He tells her as he keeps her down with a hold on her neck, his other hand slowly trailed down her spine until he reached her underwear. He laughed at the state of them, already wet, her slick shining on her thighs. “Oh someone did not like getting left hanging last night.” He ran a finger over the damp fabric and she whimpered.

“No I didn’t.” She admitted as he kept her down, the tip of his finger running over her clothed center again and again. “I need you to fuck me.”

The slap on her ass is loud, the sound cracking and she whimpered at the sudden sting.

“Listen to me very carefully.” His voice was low as he leaned over her bent body, his mouth by her ear. “You do what you’re told, you get what I give you. If I decide to use you as a toy you will say thank you daddy and lay there, if I want your mouth, you’ll be on your knees for me, if I am nice enough to let you come then you can. You ask for what you want, because that’s what good girls do.” He pulled her up face him, a snicker on his lips at the way she was already flushed and panting. “And you want to be good for your daddy, don’t you Emily?”

She licked over her bottom lip, her mind fuzzy from the maddening want she felt for him, a want that only seemed to get more intense the more he talked. She had never given up control for someone else, but there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that this is something she wanted.

“Yes, daddy.” She whispered, her voice trembling too much to try speaking. When he smiled and kissed her, she clung to him, wanting him as close as possible.

“Good girl. If you act like a spoilt brat, that’s how I will treat you.” He whispered before stepping back from her. His eyes raked over her body again, his cock so hard it hurt in his suit. “Go to your room, I’ll be there in a minute.” His eyebrow arched when she simply stared at him. “Now.” The warning in his voice didn’t go unnoticed and she quickly scurried off, happy that none of the staff was around at this time of night. Running around the house basically naked was not something she wanted them to see.

She hurried up towards her room, surprised her legs could carry her from the way her muscles were trembling from nervous arousal. She laid back on her bed, and only a few minutes later she could hear him walking down the corridor towards her room, his shoes a familiar sound to her by now.

“You’re such a pretty little thing.” He closed and locked her door, just in case someone from the staff was still awake. “You want me so bad, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Her response was instant even as her cheeks burned with embarrassment. “You’re all I’ve thought about all day.”

“Is that right?” He grinned, something dark in the way he leered at her as he started to undress, starting with his tie. “What did you think about?”

“I-I,” She stuttered as her eyes raked over his body as it was revealed to her. “I thought about you fucking me, about your cock.” She finally got out, words hard to come by.

“Really?” He kneeled on the bed, pumping his cock when her eyes fastened on it. “You certainly seemed to like it last night.”

“I did.” She sucked in a breath when he leaned over her body, the silk of her thong the only thing separating them.

“You’ve been fucked by boys” He says the word like a curse and Emily swallows harshly. “you don’t know what it feels like to be with a man, do you, sweet thing?”

“N-no daddy.” She stares up at him with wide eyes, lips parted and kiss swollen already. She really was a gorgeous woman, he thought. “Please.” Her fingers trembled when she gently caressed along his ribs, down to his hips.

Aaron smirked as he sneaked a hand between them and pushed the fabric of her underwear aside. He snickered at the wet heat of her, the fabric soaked and her slick down her thighs. He pushed the head of his cock through her, watched her expressions carefully. Her eyes closed every time he bumped her clit, back arching and pressing her chest against his and when he nudged at her opening, her pussy was clenching around nothing.

“Look at me.” He told her quietly and her eyes snapped to his, something wild and desperate in her brown orbs. “Do not close your eyes.” Aaron moved up on his knees, he wanted to see all of her when she took him for the first time.

Emily kept her eyes on him, her hands fisting the sheet tightly. He had been slow, so she had expected him to be the same when he pushed inside of her, but he surprised her. One hard thrust and he was buried as deep inside of her as he could go, the stretch of him burning and a sound in between a moan and a hiss left her.

“Fuck!” She cried out loudly as Aaron groaned above her, his hands tight on her hips. He gave her a moment to adjust, stayed pressed inside of her until she gave a nod and then he was pulling back only to thrust in just as hard again.

“You’re so tight, baby girl.” He huffed, his voice graveled and raw from pleasure. He found a pace, deep and hard, a rhythm he hadn’t had in years as Emily moaned and whimpered. His eyes moved over her body, from how her breasts jiggled, to the way her pulse beat wildly in her throat as her head fell back, to the look of pure bliss on her face. “Touch yourself Emily.”

She could barely hear him over the sounds of her own moans and the way their bodies slapped together but then he forcefully grabbed her wrist and moved her hand until her fingers were in between her legs. She kept her eyes on him as she started to circle her clit, saw that he was studying her movements, no doubt taking note how she liked it.

“It feels so good, fuck Aaron.” She gasped, already embarrassingly close as her fingers rubbed in tighter circles. The slap to her cheek made her whimper, it wasn’t hard, but enough for her to whine.

“What did you call me?” He growled as he leaned down over her, his eyes flashing with anger that only made her want him more.

“I’m sorry, daddy.” She corrected herself and he smiled before kissing her roughly, his thrusts getting faster. The hand that wasn’t pressed between them moved to grip his arm, the muscle hard under her hand as her nails dug into his skin.

“You’re clenching already.” He taunted her and she nodded, her orgasm building by each push of his hips. “Desperate little thing, already so close and we’ve barely even begun. You’re going to be wrecked when I’m done with you.”

“Please, please I’m so close.” She whispered as her thighs started to tremble around his hips. His lips trailed over her jaw, his breathing rough against her ear before he licked over her neck. He was everywhere.

“You can come.” He groaned against her ear, pulled back enough to watch her face as she came with a broken moan, her jaw slack and eyes rolling back as she buckled into his body. “That’s it, good girl.” He grunted as her walls tightened and trembled around his cock, almost making him fall of the edge too. When Emily started to relax he slowed his hips and waited until her eyelids fluttered open before he moved up on his knees again, slipping out of her with a noise of disappointment from her.

“What-?

“Ass up, face down.” He interrupted her before she could ask what he was doing and she scrambled into position. Aaron took a moment to rip her ruined thong off her and then another few seconds to admire her plump ass, he definitely needed to fuck it, but that was for another night. He spanked her once and enjoyed the way the cheek jiggled and she whimpered. When he pushed inside of her again he was quick pull her back onto his cock, urging her to move back against him which she did with a moan.

“Jesus,” She muttered under her breath as he filled her again, her face halfway into the mattrass already “you’re so fucking big.” She breathed and she heard his chuckle behind her.

“I know baby.” He reached around her and easily found her clit, his fingers rough as he circled it and she whined in response. When her hips moved even faster into him he smirked, a sense of pride at her desperation for him.

It wasn’t long until their forceful thrusts and his fingers on her clit made her come again, her body straining and shaking as she clenched around him. Aaron bit back a groan as she clenched around him, his fingers not stopping on her clit as she trembled for him.

“Fuck, too much.” She whimpered but he didn’t stop, only spanked her hard, a wordless warning in the action as he continued to fuck into her. Emily groaned as he forced another orgasm through her body, not letting her come down as the pleasure built steadily.

“You should be thank me.” He warned lowly as he chased his own release. “Look at you, so close to coming for a third fucking time.”

When she came the pleasure was close to painful, a sob leaving her as he fucked her through it. The sounds leaving her turned lower, almost pitiful and he stopped rubbing her clit. Her pussy was still clenching around him, his orgasm building by each little sigh and moan that left her. This is what he had longed for, Emily fucked out and at his mercy.

“Thank you.” She whimpered and looked back at him with heavy lidded eyes. “Please come inside of me, I want it.”

He pulled out with a growl, pushed her onto her back again and then pushed inside of her and swallowed her whimper with a rough kiss.

“You want me to fill you up?” He whispered breathlessly and she nodded quickly “Want to leak with my cum?”

“Yes, fuck yes.” She gripped at him, her nails leaving red lines along his sides as her legs tightened around his hips. “Fill me up, daddy.”

The words fell of her lips with a whimper and it was the last push he needed before giving in to his own pleasure. He muffled his groan against her collarbone, his release hard enough to knock the air out of his lungs as his hips stuttered against her, spilling deep inside of her.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He growled before collapsing against her, his breathing ragged and body twitching from the aftershocks of his orgasm.

Emily’s hands turned softer, fingers gentle as she stroked over his sweaty skin and she sighed happily.

“No one’s made me come more than once before.” She said quietly and he smirked against her skin before lifting his head to look at her.

“Oh baby girl, we aren’t even close to done.”

 *

 That was the first night they spent together, but it was by no means the last. A few weeks later and he had fucked her every which way, made her beg and moan and plead for him on days he felt particularly sadistic. And she loved it, she loved when he worked in his home office and called her in just to sit on his cock, to keep him company as he put it, all while she grinded carefully on him, needing more. She loved that he would tie her to his bed and eat her out until she was crying from overstimulation, and then one day he found her toys hidden away in her closet he would take pleasure using every single one of them on her.

A few weeks went by and Emily had never imagined this side of him. It was easily the best summer of her life.

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

April 13, 2558

Her birthday falls on a Thursday this year. Like always, she wants it to pass without fanfare. Not like that her job's been boring lately; Palmer would welcome something going right for a change.

It'd been a hard year already and any celebration would feel wrong. Requiem. Halsey. Ealen IV. DeMarco and Bailey. Oth Lodon. She may have told Tom to call it a rough day and move on, but so many rough days in a row felt like bad luck. Not that she was the superstitious type, but once a helljumper... Strange she felt this way now, so long *after* having jumped out of ships in a metal coffin.

The amount of time spent docked for repairs just felt like icing on the cake. The Infinity's luck hadn't run out yet. Damn she needed a drink that'd do something. Getting morose and mopey in her old age.

She was the Spartan Commander of the biggest baddest ship around, but they had both taken their knocks recently. The Infinity had just finished receiving repairs. Luna loomed in the viewport, but she wouldn't be making a home visit this time. Their location was still classified half the time she lined up calls and he understood.

They had a system and she called home when she could. He had been in the Corps. He knew.

The call goes as usual. A check-in, comments on how tired she looks, stories traded, emotions side-stepped. Her hazard pay was keeping his retirement comfortable enough, even though he said he didn't want it, didn't need to be so soft. She snorts at his language even as her eyes catch new lines in his face and more gray around his temples.

He catches her smirk falling and prods and she fires back with a question about his hair being regulation, marine. It would usually work, but it's her birthday.

"You're eating enough, right?" He coughs awkwardly. "They feeding you more steroids and robot parts?"

"And all the nutrient paste I could ever want, Dad." She sighs.

"Well, I always wanted you to grow up big and strong." He grins.

She crosses her arms and leans back in the chair, foot pushing against the desk as she takes in the way he looks in the video call. Her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. "No one bigger or stronger, they made sure of that."

"Happy Birthday, Sarah."

"Thanks. It's good to see you."

"Don't be a stranger."

"No sir."

The call ends and she looks at her reflection in the dark screen. Augmented eyes catch every mote of dust, every imperfection and scratch in the screen, and the way her reflection's jaw is so tight it could bend steel.

Palmer looks away and scowls at the ceiling instead. She's logged too much time in Wargames recently anyway; Roland would lock her out, or worse, tell Tom and then he'd come look at her with his sad face and invite her to drink scotch that does nothing for her anymore.

A knock on her door has her drop her foot and the chair beneath her falls flat back to the floor. She eyes the threshold with some ire, but the faint nervous shuffling outside her door is familiar.

Speak of the Devil.

Her door slides open with a hiss and she fills the door frame as she leans on it. Despite her mood, she is glad to see him though she would be loathe to admit it to his face. "Captain Lasky, what a surprise."

"Commander Palmer, may I come in?" His arms are full with a bag in one hand and a ridiculous alien looking bottle in another.

"Fine, what's the occasion?" She pushes off the door frame and gestures for him to follow.

"Sarah, we've known each other how long now?" He sighs.

The sad face with the eyes makes an appearance and she looks away as she scowls. "Five years, but who's counting?"

He sets the bag and bottle on the table, pulling out a new bottle of good scotch from the bag along with some glasses. Tom catches her looking with open curiosity and smiles.

"A birthday gift, and thanks." He says, gesturing to the scotch. "And this is a gift from the Sangheili delegation. Apparently it is strong enough to get a Spartan drunk."

"The hingeheads have booze?" She hefts the bottle up to look at the label. "Irukan spirits?"

"Grain alcohol, alien grain alcohol." Tom says as he uncaps the scotch and pours them both a healthy amount.

"The Swords gave us alien moonshine?" She tilts her head. Now she's interested.

"Gave you alien moonshine. I'll stick to the scotch." He hands her the glass and brings his own up for cheers.

She takes it with a smile and clinks their glasses together. "Pussy."

Tom chuckles into his glass and drinks. She copies, and damn it, it is good scotch. The kind a captain of a starship can afford. Probably aged longer than she's been alive or some shit.

"Happy Birthday Sarah." He says as he takes a seat and undoes his collar. Slumping down into the chair, he seems tired. Tom looks like she feels. He had his own reasons to hate April.  

"Thanks, Tom." And she means it. He can probably tell. He's gotten annoyingly good at reading her over the years.

She sets the glass down and grabs another from the bag. The lid to the Sangheili's gift pops off with a near silent hiss and she pours a bit, thinks on it, and pours some more. The alcohol is clear, and it burns her nose even at arm's length. She finds herself grinning as she grabs the glass and lifts it.

Tom is watching her with a mix of interest and trepidation. He’s seen firsthand what the IVs can consume and he hasn’t always been a fan.

The alcohol is smooth and high quality, not that she's had the time or money to develop a sophisticated palate, and it burns like hell going down.

Her eyebrows furrow and she exhales quickly. Not a cough.

Tom laughs into his glass again as if that'll hide it and mutters "Pussy."

"Decorum, Captain." She barks at him, and laughs when he looks up at her, offended.

"Sarah, you are such a hypocrite." He chides her as she falls into the chair across from him.

She takes another gulp and smiles at him. "This is good. Either it gets me drunk or the techs have fun studying my liver."

"I'll make sure to send a thank you."

They fall into companionable silence for a moment, at least until the commpad on the table beeps. Startled, Sarah smacks for it and cracks the screen in half, silencing the tech while Lasky jolts and looks on in horror.

They lock eyes before Sarah snorts, "I think it’s working. I’m buzzed." followed immediately by "Shit, Roland's going to be mad I broke something else."

Tom only laughs once and raises his eyebrows at the display until she speaks up and he descends into muffled laughter.

“You’re more upset that Roland’s going to judge you than breaking the padd.” He wheezes between laughs.

Her brow furrows more and she takes another swig and shudders before pointing a finger at him. “Listen Tom, I’m not upset. It’s just–”

“You rang?” Roland appears on the holoterminal near the door, and in full view of the table.

Faster than Tom can see, but much slower than an AI’s cameras, Sarah slides the broken commpadd behind the bulk of her arm as she leans on the table. The movement is clumsy and Tom chokes, but manages not to waste the nice scotch. He swallows hard and coughs.

“Everything okay? I heard my name.” He’s the picture of ease with his hands on his hips. If he was solid, Sarah would bat his smug self off the holo.

Instead she just grins – it’s more of a grimace or baring of teeth – and continues leaning over the table enough that Tom scooches the bottles and glasses closer to his side. Both humans are pink around the ears.

“Everything’s fine, Roland. The commander here was just enjoying some of her birthday gifts.” 

“Of course, sir.” He nods and turns to Sarah who’s trying to take another sip while still covering the evidence of her crime. “Happy birthday Commander, I will ignore your destruction of yet another piece of tech, since it is your birthday. I’ll leave you two to it.”

He salutes and blips away, leaving Sarah to hit her head against the table as Tom pours another drink. He lifts Sarah’s glass and sniffs it before thinking better of it.

“You know I could call him back and we could sing for you.”

“Don’t you dare.” Her words are muffled by the table.

“Happy birthday Sarah.” Tom toasts her again as she looks up at him from the table and offers him a gesture in return. 

[lcvesjj]

“I didn’t know where else to go…” - Erin Lindsay x Fem!Reader

Prompt : “I didn’t know where else to go…” 

Pairing : Erin Lindsay x Fem!Reader

Summary : After a really long and eventful day Y/ n doesn’t know where else to go when her anxiety is overwhelming. (Fluff)

Warnings : anxiety/being overwhelmed, mentions of losing a close friend, crying, mentions of drinking?

A/n : If there is anything else I should add to the warnings please let me know and I'll add it ! Feedback would be really appreciated :)

The day started out horrible, first the hot water in your apartment stopped working for some odd reason when you tried to take a quick morning shower, then you were late to work due to traffic and Voight wasn’t that pleased with you. 

Could this day get any worse? Apparently the universe was against you today, since your paperwork was also magically missing which meant you had to rewrite everything. Every. Single. File. 

Seeing everyone’s pitiful eyes on you made you slightly cringe. You hated people when people pitied you. It made you think of how after losing one of your closest friends, you felt like everyone was treating you like some glass object which in your opinion was the worst feeling ever. It was so annoying when people felt like they had to treat you so carefully, you knew they meant well and it was supposed to be a nice gesture but still. 

It all got worse when it was lunchtime, since you discovered your wallet was missing. After asking Voight if you could quickly get something from your apartment since you had completely forgotten about it. You ran down the stairs of the bullpen towards your car, nearly tripping down the flight of stairs. The desk sergeant gave you a weird look but after sending her an awkward smile you were gone. 

You had somehow managed to get to your apartment and back to the district without any more bad things happening. Luckily for the rest of the day you didn’t get any new cases, which was kind of nice and calm since for once you could catch up on all of your paperwork. 

At the end of the day you were so overwhelmed, you just wanted to curl up in bed and stay there forever. Today was really tough, you thought to yourself. Soon hours passed and you still couldn’t sleep, and your anxiety was getting worse and worse and you were starting to feel more restless and overwhelmed. 

Not knowing what else to do or where else to go, you quickly put on your shoes and coat and grabbed your car keys and locked the door to your apartment. There was only one place that felt safe enough for you - Erin’s place. When you first joined intelligence, she was the first one to welcome you. While the rest took their time to warm up to you. She always made you feel so safe and protected. As silly as it might sound she had became your safe place in such a small amount of time.  

Driving the short distance from your apartment to hers, you started to feel even more anxious and overwhelmed. It was all too much for you. You quickly parked under her apartment building and got out of the car running up to her door. You rang the bell a few times until you heard footsteps coming to the door. The brunette opened the door not expecting to see you there with such a panicked expression. 

“Y/n are you okay? What happened?” She asked stepping out of the door towards you. 

“I’m really sorry to bother you. I just can’t calm down and I’m so anxious and I just- I-I didn’t know where else to go…I’m so sorry” You replied, starting to cry. “Oh Y/n sweetheart, come in please. It’s okay and you're never bothering me. I love spending time with you. Why don’t we sit down on the couch and just sit there and talk until you feel a bit better, okay?” You simply nodded and took off your shoes and coat, heading towards Erin’s couch with her guiding you, while gently rubbing your back to comfort you. 

She sat down next to you and wrapped her arms around you. You quickly hid your face into her shoulder not wanting Erin to see your tears. She continued to gently rub your back while whispering into your hair that it’s okay and to let it all out.

After a bit you started to calm down and you felt like you could finally take a deep breath. Slowly pulling away from her warm embrace, you looked at Erin. Her worried expression broke your heart, since you weren’t the best with intimacy and feelings due to the way you were raised. She gently wiped away your tears from your cheeks. You let out a half sob half chuckle. “Are you feeling better now?” She asked you in a worried tone. “Yea, a little bit. I’m really sorry for ruining your evening.” You said finally finding the courage to look her in the eyes. 

“C’mere. You're not ruining my evening. I love spending time with you Y/n” She gently pulled you into a big hug. You hugged her back so tightly, Erin’s hugs were the best and most comforting hugs ever in your opinion. And that’s when you knew it would all be okay. 

As hard as this day was, at least it ended well. Since it ended with you and Erin curled up on her couch drinking wine and laughing at silly romcoms. That was one of the best ways to end such a bad day. With someone like Erin by your side you knew you would be alright, even in the hardest and toughest moments. As you both laid really close to each other you started to fall asleep with a small smile on your face. Knowing that you were finally safe.

[lemoncrushh]

Out of Bounds - Chapter 23

STORY PAGE

Word Count: 2279

Penny and I spent most of Sunday afternoon in the laundry room. Harry had called me earlier, assuring me there had been no unwanted guests at the restaurant the night before. He also hadn't gotten anymore ridiculous phone calls from unknown numbers. Though it was only one night, I sighed with relief.

After putting away the last of our laundry, we ate soup and sandwiches and watched a bit of TV before Penny went to bed early. I got into my pajamas and continued watching an old black and white movie. My phone buzzed when it was just about over. Grabbing it thinking it was Harry, I just about came unglued when I noticed James's name displayed.

J: Just so you know, I will no longer be paying your phone bill nor your car note and insurance after this month.

I inhaled slowly, letting the breath out in the same manner. I supposed I should have seen it coming. Of course he wasn't going to pay for anything having to do with me any longer. After thinking of what my reply should be, I texted him back.

T: Fine. I'll find my own means.

He texted back immediately.

J: Good luck.

I stuck my tongue out at my phone, as though James could see me. I knew I shouldn't expect him to still be paying my way, but he didn't have to be a jerk. I felt like he was mocking me with his condescending tone, although I couldn't hear his voice.

I watched the rest of the movie, and when the credits rolled, I turned off the TV and called Harry.

"Hi, baby," he answered, his voice raspy.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" I asked him.

"No, I was reading through our report."

"Oh," I replied with a yawn.

"Sounds like you're about to fall asleep," he remarked.

"Yeah, I am. Just wanted to hear your voice."

"Oh," he said, a smile in his tone. "That's nice to hear. Everything alright?"

I sighed audibly. "Yes and no."

"Tell me," he murmured.

I told him about James's texts, trying my best not to show any emotion. I knew Harry was always there for me, but I didn't want to lay any burden on him, like I thought he needed to pick up the pieces.

"Hmm," he sounded.

"I know I shouldn't be upset," I scoffed at myself. "I'm being ridiculous."

"No, you're not."

"Yeah, I am," I commented, running my fingers through my hair. "I can't expect him to be nice to me. At least he's somewhat civil."

"Tisa, you have every right to feel whatever it is you're feeling," Harry said in a warm tone. "Yes, you asked for the divorce. But that doesn't make it any easier. Of course he's going to throw shit at you to make you look like the bad guy and himself the victor."

"You're right," I agreed, sighing once more, deciding to drop the subject. "So what about you?"

"What about me?"

"How was the rest of your day?"

"Excruciatingly dull," he announced.

I laughed out loud. "I miss you already."

"I miss you, too. Come over."

"No," I chuckled. "It's late, and I'm already in my pajamas."

"Ooh the sexy ones?" he inquired.

"Nope. Sorry to say, but those are packed away."

"Bugger."

I laughed again, feeling the tension dissipate from the few minutes of talking to Harry. He always knew how to make me feel at ease, and I was eternally grateful for that and for him.

"Goodnight, Harry," I said.

"Goodnight, my love. See you in the morning."

The next couple days seemed to fly by, but not without discomfort. Harry had to work Monday evening, and as soon as he got home, he notified me that he saw two of the men that James had been seen with at Mikado's the night he'd come home drunk, but James wasn't with them this time. He also said that he'd asked Brian about the man that had been with Justine - the man who'd handed me the divorce papers. Brian apparently was able to put two and two together. He said a blonde had come in a couple weeks ago, and he thought she'd looked familiar, but couldn't place her. After Harry described her, Brian remembered Justine from our night at the bar. He said this time she was with a tall, dark-haired man who kept buying her drinks until they both stumbled out of the bar. He hadn't known if they had come together, or if they'd only just met then. He then said that just a few days later, he recognized the man again when he came in with the lunch crowd. He was with a couple other men, all dressed in suits, seemingly having a business lunch.

I wasn't sure yet what all of this meant, but in talking with Harry, we both gathered that one of the men at that luncheon must have been James. And that these other men were either colleagues or clients of his. I wondered silently if one of them was Nelson Whitcomb, James's boss. I still didn't know who this mystery man was, however, and how Justine fit into all of this.

On Tuesday morning, I met Harry outside of Sociology class, circles under my eyes from being sleep deprived. I had tossed and turned the entire night after ending our phone call. Looking like he hadn't gotten much more sleep than I had, without a word Harry pulled me to him and kissed me. I sighed as I leaned into him, letting his arms and lips give me the comfort I craved.

"Give me a break," I heard a voice declare behind me. I didn't even bother to turn around. I knew it was one of the mean girls. I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of even a glance in her direction.

Harry rubbed my back as he gazed into my eyes. I could sense he was proud of me for not putting up a fight. He had been right all along. They weren't worth it. He was worth it. He was all I needed.

Professor Crawford gave us another free day to work on our papers. Harry and I were essentially finished with ours, so we spent the period discussing plans for Thanksgiving. We hadn't really discussed it prior, except for a brief mention that night when I'd confessed my love for him. And back then, it had seemed that I might still be with James at this point, and Harry was going to give me some time to think things through. All of that had changed, and I was now on my own living with Penny.

Because Thanksgiving is obviously an American holiday, I asked Harry if he had ever celebrated. He said he had, usually with friends. The previous year Zack and Alison, whom he'd been dating at the time, had gone home to their prospective families, so he'd spent the day watching parades and Christmas movies at home by himself. The thought of him doing that gutted me, so I promised I would give him a proper Thanksgiving, even if it just ended up being us two.

When class was over, I followed Harry outside. I could feel Leslie and Charice behind me, but again I didn't turn around. Just as I stepped through the doorway, I saw Liz standing with her arms crossed. I fought the urge to say or do something, even just roll my eyes, but I kept my cool and took Harry's hand as we continued to walk down the sidewalk.

We kissed and said goodbye at our usual spot, then I drove back to Penny's. Still completely exhausted, I collapsed on my couch-bed and took a nap. I was awaken an hour or so later by the ring of my phone. Picking it up, I saw Justine's name on the screen. Curious and a bit peeved, I swiped the screen to answer her call.

"Justine," I said after clearing my throat.

"Hey, Tisa!" she exclaimed as though she was excited to speak to me. "How's it going?"

"Um..." I stammered, trying to collect my thoughts. "Okay I guess, all things considered."

"Oh, yeah," she said, lowering her voice. "I heard about you and James."

"Oh, you did?" I asked, although it was more like a statement.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry."

"Wait, what?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I shook my head, incredulous.

"Well, I knew you weren't happy, but divorce is hard. Remember, I've been there."

"Oh. Yeah." For a moment I thought perhaps she was trying to be the friend she should have been to begin with - the shoulder that I had needed before.

"Are you still seeing Harry?" she inquired.

"Yes," I replied flatly, furrowing my eyebrows. "You knew that. You just saw him Mikado's."

"Oh yeah," she giggled nervously. "I forgot I called you."

"Uh huh."

"I was kind of drunk," she confessed.

"Yeah." I decided then we needed to get all of this out in the open. I needed some answers. "Justine, who was that man you were with?"

"What?" she asked.

"The man you were with at Mikado's. Harry said you were with someone. Was that the man you're seeing? Drew, is that his name?"

"Oh! Yeah, that's Drew," she answered.

"And how does he know James?"

"How..." Justine began. I could tell she realized she had been caught. Caught in exactly what, even I wasn't sure yet. But I knew the truth was unfolding. "Um...Drew is...a friend of James's."

"Uh huh," I repeated. "That's quite a coincidence isn't it?"

"How so?"

"Well, that you would happen to work with a man who also happens to be a friend of my husband's, excuse me, soon-to-be ex-husband's. And that you would start dating him just after I confessed to you my affair with Harry. That suddenly he's being seen at Mikado's where Harry works. And...that he happens to be the same man who served me my divorce papers."

Silence echoed between us until Justine finally said, "That is a coincidence."

I groaned loudly. "Oh, c'mon Justine, what gives?"

"Nothing!" she exclaimed.

"God dammit, Justine!" I yelled through the phone. "I thought you were my friend!"

"I am your friend!" she cried. "That's why I called you. I miss you!"

I buried my face in my hand, trying my best to keep my composure. This whole fiasco had a story to it, and I was going to get to the bottom of it.

"If you're really my friend," I continued, "you'd tell me what the hell is going on."

Justine let out an exasperated breath. "James called me."

"What?" I shook my head again. "When?"

"I don't remember exactly. I think it was after you told me about you and Harry when we were at El Toro's."

"Wh-Why would he call you?"

"Well...I think initially he was checking up on you. I think he had suspected something was going on, and because you had said you'd been with me, he wanted to make sure. I assured him we had been together, but I could tell he was worried. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. So we met for lunch."

"Wait, back up. How did he get your number?" I asked.

"He said he found me on your Facebook. My job is listed on my profile. He called my office."

"Oh God!"

"So, we had lunch," Justine continued. "And he told me he was afraid he was losing you. He said he wasn't sure if there was someone else or not, but that you were different somehow. He seemed really sad, Tisa."

"Ugh," I scoffed. "Then what?"

"I swear, I didn't tell him right away..."

"You told him?" I cried.

"No, no I didn't!" Justine promised. "He figured it out on his own."

"How?"

"I don't know exactly. I guess he just suspected something and knew you spent a lot of time with Harry."

"So he said something to you?"

"Yeah," she admitted. "He asked if I'd heard about this Harry fellow. I didn't want to lie to him, Tisa."

"Well, you could have, Justine! Especially since I'd confided in you!" I was beyond livid at this point. Fuck friends. Fuck Justine. Fuck James.

"Should I tell you the rest, or are you too mad at me now to listen?" Justine asked, trying to turn the tables.

"Oh, no!" I exclaimed. "You're going to tell me fucking everything now!"

"Calm down," she insisted.

"I will not calm down! You don't have the right to tell me to calm down, Justine!" I was standing now, pacing the floor. I wanted to throw my phone across the room or punch a wall or something. I had never been so angry.

"No," I heard her say. "I can't talk to you when you're like this. Besides, I have to get back to work."

"Damn it!"

"Do you want to meet somewhere tonight and talk?"

I took a deep breath and let it out. "Fine."

We agreed to meet at the coffee shop around the corner from Penny's apartment at six o'clock. I hung up the phone and tossed it on my pillow. I wanted to talk to Harry, but I knew it probably would be best to wait until my anger subsided. I swallowed hard, feeling a knot in my stomach. I just wanted all of this to be over with. I wanted the truth to come out, my divorce to be final, and to live happily ever after with Harry. But I knew that was too much to ask.

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