#but that being said clearly i have bad taste in most things so who am i to judge. love who you love and all that

[proposalanonaita]

FINE.

The date is fast approaching (seven and a half weeks left), I've had sufficient quantities of Malbec, and I'm realizing that whoever suggested that writing my vows would be MUCH more harrowing than talking about my feelings to internet nobodies.....had a fair point; I should at least attempt to put it all to words before I write the real drafts.

Ugh.

I should probably start by stating that I'm WELL aware of who I am. Rest assured, I know that I'm stunningly abrasive. And controlling. And petty, conniving, misanthropic, or whatever other adjectives you've been calling me in the tags (yes, I DID read those, and it IS weird of so many of you to be calling for my divorce. I thought you were supposed to be nicer than I am?).

All this to say, I've always been cognizant of being an acquired taste. Partly because I've always BEEN an acquired taste. I tone it down in public, and in most of my personal relationships, but I am, down to my core, a Mean Mother Fucker.

With partners before my fiancé, I had to make myself more palatable to stay together. The men I dated were FAR too nice, and snipping with them at all felt like I was a heavyweight champion facing off against a toddler. So I reigned it in. It worked, but no matter how well things were going on paper, I didn't feel like I was myself with any of them.

I was even less myself with The Shithead. I'm NOT getting into the entirety of that particular tire fire here, you little freaks already know FAR too much about me and I won't have you tagging the gory details of the worst part of my life with #bob the builder/fuzzy wuzzy or whatever you're into.

He was horrible to me, I turned dangerously timid, I'm lucky I had enough Mean left in me to get the fuck out. He's changed enough by now that I considered inviting him to the wedding, it was bad enough back then I'm very glad I didn't. Enough said.

...I'm talking quite a bit up here because I still hate having to say any of the next part. Call me an emotionless villain for that if you want to, I am far too employed and 30 to care very much.

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

So.

The thing is, there are people that KNOW me, and there are people who LIKE me. My parents know me, and I've never doubted they love me, but that's not LIKING me as a person. That's a contractual obligation of birthing me. My friends like me, some even like me when I'm catty, but I need to be careful to hold myself back, at the risk of losing them. At best, people loved "me", not ME.

For decades, this was just the way the world was. It was a fact of life- The sky is blue, I'm secretly unlovable, the Earth goes around the sun.

And then, against all odds, I found my fiancé, who manages to do both.

He sees ALL of me. Every square inch, every fleeting thought, every horrible little quirk of my rotten personality. And THEN, as if that weren't bad enough, he turns around and ENJOYS it all. He's not just tolerant of my least palatable traits, he's delighted. The more I show him, the more he likes.

It's awful. I'd say he stole my heart, but that sounds too pleasant. It's more like my heart is a cockroach he could squish at any moment, and I trust him not to, and I'm just supposed to wake up every morning and do the dishes and go to work as if this doesn't mean we're clearly orbiting Saturn. The sky is PURPLE now. What the fuck.

He could at least do me the favor of being completely, 100% perfect, because then I could blame his total lapse in judgement on that, but NO. He's a BASTARD.

I'm engaged to a big sweaty idiot who annoys me on purpose. He's terrible with his money. He tries to take me on HIKES, and JOGS, and CAMPING TRIPS. His taste in every single art form known to man is GARBAGE, he's constantly leaving his dirty socks on the floor, and he's such a bad driver I'm amazed he still has a license.

I've told him all of that to his face, and I've MEANT it, and he's just called me a bitch and asked me what I want for dinner. He knows that I'm unlovable, agrees that all those parts of me are in here, and then loves me anyway.

He loves me. He LOVES me. He loves ME.

I don't know what I'm meant to do with it all, but there's clearly SOMETHING wrong with his brain, so I guess I'll have to keep him, if only for his sake.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

You are not ACAB. You're an asshole

SO this post has been a long time coming and I have sent a rant to several people to look over it for me just so I could get opinions. And most agreed with what I had to say. However it was mean, callous, and too "I'm ok being an shithead" for my taste.

If I am being 100% honest, people hate cops just to hate cops. It's not because there are cops that do wrong. It's just because they are told to/programmed to hate cops. Ok, so why do I say that?

Well a few reasons.

For the past 40 years *minimum* it has been a point of the media to showcase any time a cop does anything bad. Because what better way to "Reach the people" than to assuage them with a "Hello fellow Americans. Doesn't it suck with cops get on our ass about stuff".

Social media has been using bait for years in order to get more traffic to more links and articles. This alone has made rage baiting as an entirety more of an issue.

Because of both of the above, there was a time when alt media *at the time* and social media worked in tandem to constantly show off instances of cops being assholes or outright doing things that were illegal.

So what does this mean. Well it means that you are under a notion that is already provided to you. "Cops are ruthless bad guys that don't do anything for anyone at all".

Except that's not even remotely true. What is true is that often, any positive stories involving cops is buried or glossed over and only ever talked about in very local reports. What's more a cops job is to do the right thing. So when a cop does do the right thing, the understanding is that they are not meant to receive praise. However, that is lopsided in how it works. It more or less means that you are under the LARGEST of microscopes, and if you fuck up at ALL, then you end up as a youtube video that reinforces that "Cops are bad guys" or "Cops are stupid and annoying". Rather than the truth which is that cops themselves are human beings.

Now. I can already see the comment from the shitheads. "ACAB EXISTS BECAUSE-" Shut it. I don't care. Unlike most of you I understand nuance. And more than that, I've had poor run-in's with cops. I have also had to work along side them as private security as well. And my mother, who's not shy about telling people they fucked up, worked as Dispatch and as a Secretary for the PD in the small city we lived in. "Oh well then your brainwashed", you can say that but it does not make you right.

Unlike you, clearly I'm able to think critically about subjects where as you are not. Am I a "Back the Blue" cultist? Absolutely not. I'm solely in the camp of Abolish Unions and hold officers to account for what they do wrong.

However, having said that, Cops duty to uphold the law sometimes manifests in ways that we don't like. Like Uvalde. The cops were in their rights to stop the shooter, but the top brass would have decimated any officer that decided to not follow his order of standing down. I don't think that's ok. Hell that entire chain of command should have faced a lawsuit. But where they DID properly enforce the law, is stopping parents from going in. Because had a parent gone by cops in order to stop the shooter, at that point, it legally could have been considered vigilantism.

Regardless of the moral implications of that, fact is, that's the truth.

So why am I making this post? Mostly because ignorant people exist in this world and their only reason for living at all is just to hate. "All cops are bastards"? Are you so sure? I wonder how many people in the US over the past 100+ years have been saved by cops. I wonder how many kids have been rescued from abuse. I wonder how many women have been saved from rape. I wonder how many kids have been save from gang violence or drug dealing.

Saying, "All cops are bastards" is no different than saying, "Yes all men". Functionally you are saying the same thing. And while you may say, "Hey that's not the same one is an immutable trait and the other is a job", to which I'll say, sure. Except you are making a gross generalization. Which IS the same. And ignores every single decent, good, great cop that exists out there. And every single good cop that has ever existed.

In my last post talking about this, I stated that people that are ACAB don't really hate cops. They just hate that they can't break the law without consequences. And I still believe that, but let me add a bit of nuance to that.

Most of the people that hate cops are programmed to hate cops. Because, like the media does, it picks something that will engage you, and will put it in front of you any way it knows how to. There are also a lot of people out there that hate cops because they can't break the law. That's also very true.

However there is another group that exists and it's Anarchists. Now, I have followers and people that I follow that are Anarchists. And while I view them as different from Tankies, Fundamentally they share the same, "Ideal Utopia" idea. Which is that, "Under my ideals, the world would be better". Except it won't be. It will be warlords and dictators forming groups. Assuming that we don't get taken over by Islamic Extremists, China, or the UN. Their ideals aside, they hate "The State" in all it's forms. And if you are fine with any form of "State" they will quite literally go off on a tirade of why you are a bootlicker. *Sigh*

Now, the last of these groups is just people that either 1) Do not understand what goes into being a cop and just hates them based on baseless notions, or 2) People that have had bad run-in's with cops and take that notion out on ALL cops.

So for these last two sets, things are difficult to deal with. Because they will go out of their way often to not care about how hard it is to be a cop. What do I mean?

Well for starters, cops are expected to be perfect at all times.

Perfect Aim

Perfect knowledge of all laws both federal and local

Perfect judgement at all times

Perfect execution of force at all times

Perfect response at all times

Perfect awareness of surroundings at all times

Perfect ability to listen to the law but also not piss off people breaking the law

And I could go on. Humans are fundamentally imperfect. They always will be. So expecting a cop to be perfect is like asking your SO where they want to eat every day for a month and them knowing right away. Unless you're a LIAR it's not going to happen. Same such, cops can't be perfect. Combine that with having to both uphold the law AND be sure to follow the law at the same time, then combine that with the dangers of the job, the fact that human beings are ANIMALS that are violent by nature, and unpredictable on top of which, with use of force laws. And yeah. You don't have a good time. It becomes a huge issue of people that are like, "Why didn't just just tase him?" or "Why didn't you just shot the gun out of his hand" or better yet, "He only had a knife and was threatening to kill someone. Why'd did you have to shoot him, you are not judge jury and executioner."

And that's where you are both right and wrong.

Right in the fact that they are not a Jury. Wrong about the fact that they are not acting in their capacity to judge a situation, and execute those that are too great a risk to subdue. And if you ever talk to a person that does MMA, subduing a person is not as easy as you think. More over, Tasers are not considered, "non-lethal". In a lot of cases they are considered lethal because you are delivering a shock, meant to incapacitate someone. Meaning that you have the risk of permanently injuring them, OR killing them if their heart stops. Hell you could also in theory turn them into a vegetable.

But sadly no one considers all of these things. And only people familiar with cops and how their jobs work, know any of this.

Am I justifying bad, or even evil cops with this post? No. I think cops fundamentally need more training. I also think that they need frequent psychological evaluations to see the effect of the work on them. Because some of the things you see in your capacity as an officer can be gruesome. Dead bodies. People that have been mutilated. Dead kids from drugs or gang shootings. And the list goes on and on and on.

Recently I made a post talking about how since the summer of 2020, there have been less good cops. And fact is, because of the 2020 riots, a lot of good cops did quit their jobs. That's a fact. Many actually put in for early retirement. And not because "They were being held to account". No. It was because they were told, "If you do your job, we will riot outside your station. Firebomb your cars and homes, and we will find a way to railroad you into prison".

So what do we see in NY and LA? Car break ins. Looting. Beatings in the streets. Cops that will literally stand down while people are being hurt. Why? Because why the hell would anyone be a cop when you are under a microscope SO LARGE, that even the SMALLEST twitch in the wrong direction could end your career and possibly your life.

It's easy to say, "Yeah I'd stop those looters and assaulters". Sure. Right up until the are a protected class. Then enjoy your media crucifixion, loss of work and likely stint in jail. As well as your family getting death threats for years to come. So given all this, I made a point that a lot of hires over the last 3 years have probably been scraping the bottom of the barrel. Because in truth, knowing all the above, why WOULD anyone be a cop? Certainly there are still good cops. But a lot of the good ones quit.

What's more, Now a days it's better as a cop to just NOT enforce the law. Because why risk everything I mentioned. You protect the law and you make the conservatives happy but piss off the woke. And the woke currently more or less control law and media. Good luck getting shanked in jail. If you don't uphold the law, you piss off people who want you to enforce it but you probably get to live another day.

At that point you may say, "OK so why be a cop at all then", and the answer is easy. It's a job. And it pays. Why excel at all when you are expected to be a bastion of perfection? What's that? Didn't use the PERFECT amount of force? Death Penalty. Oh? You shot a guy that pulled a gun on you and you didn't just take the shots to the chest? Well clearly you deserve to be put in jail for the rest of your life.

Cops are treated like they are supposed to be absolutely perfect at all times and it's stupid. I HATE police unions mind you. But you know what I hate more. People that have no idea the risk to their lives that cops are put through day to day just for putting on the badge. The fact that cops NEED wiggle room within the law in order to enforce it.

Remember "Hands up don't shoot"? Yeah. So do I. I also remember that it was a fucking lie, and that there are people to this day that still believe that lie. And if not for Police Unions, he might have rotted in jail for the rest of his life. There is no PEFECT in this life. Not for cops, not for anyone. Cops are not superheroes. They don't swing in on a web shooter and punch the bad guy JUST hard enough to knock him out without killing him. And with morality as fucked up as it is in the west, even just in the US, Law enforcement is in a no win situation. At all times.

But I want to find every person that has ever been saved by cops, and force you to tell those people that all cops are bad. And tell them about how whatever they were saved from doesn't matter because "ALL cops are bad". Tell the women that were possibly saved from rape, "You should have just been raped. Cops are all evil." Or tell the kid that was saved from the person that kidnapped them, "Yeah no, you should have just been a sex slave. Cops are bastards and clearly they didn't WANT to help you". Stop making assessments about ALL of any group of people. Because the likelihood that you'll be right is near zero.

There are good cops. And there are bad cops. Police Unions need heavy reformation. Accountability needs to actually be able to happen. And people need to understand how hard cops actually have it. All of these things can be true at the same time. And none of it is justifying evil or bad cops or even ones that don't enforce the law. It's a nuanced topic. And as such, it should be treated so.

[lutawolf]

The Sign Commentary Review Ep 1

So earlier today, I made a post telling everyone to go watch. By popular demand, I'll be doing a commentary. Moving forward, I will do commentary at the same time I watch, but I'm unable to do that here. Still, even in the second watch, I have a lot to say.

And action! Because I've watched this already, I know it's a training exercise. I was clueless to this initially, though, which in my personally opinion kept me more on edge. For the sake of the review, I have to point out that some of the fight scenes appear slow. Not all of them, just some of the fighting here and there. I'm assuming due to new actors and not enough rehearsal time, but I still enjoyed it. It's just something you pick up on, not something that takes away from the show. But as you can see below with the betrayal scene, that for the most part, the fight scenes are well choreographed.

The way Tharn sees the future has me a little concerned about him getting hurt. He's distracted and in the thick of things, that's not a good thing. But he sees enough to know he has to rescue Phaya from real danger. Without another thought, he rushes to Phaya's side. At this point, I do pick up feelings from Tharn. You can brush it off to him rushing to help someone, he would do it for anyone, but it's the intensity in which he does it. I mean, there is a lot more concern there that you would expect more with a bestie or crush.

Chart is straight up anger management crazy. How did he pass the psych evaluation to even go into training? Tharn shows up at the critical moment to save Phaya and because of Chart's crazy ass, they all fail. As well as being punished.

Let me tell you, I tend to punish all my kids at the same time, too. Why? Because the ones suffering due to the one who messed up will make the one who messed up suffer. The two will gang up to make the one, and that mistake will not be repeated. Why am I not seeing that here? Why is anyone still siding with that douche canoe???

Yet there they are, siding with him instead of beating his ass. Also, is Chart really talking like Tharn saving Phaya was a bad thing? Like that if Phaya had asked for help, it's somehow unacceptable?

Then we meet the side friends! I adore Tharn's half brother.

And then the side couple? Maybe? Maybe not. I mean, I tend to be like "Bitch, you better be joking" when it comes to cheating.

Though the way Khem calls Thong Babe is adorbs.

I've counted three times when Chart has done the thumb to nose. Is this some kind of character habit, or is he a user?

I love these two lovely bunch of coconuts, your honor. I truly do. I also think that Yai is more insightful than he appears. Take him asking Tharn why most of his visions involve Phaya. He's trying to lead the horse to the trough. "But you seem to care about him a lot." See, insightful.

Then Phaya comes to break up the brotherly love. Maybe he would have said thank you had Tharn been truthful, but you can't really blame Tharn there.

I think Phaya finds Tharn suspicious. Nope, he does not believe Tharn at all.

Then the torture training begins. Luckily for us because we then get to see them cuddle huddle together for warmth.

Why are only the two of them cuddling, huddling together. Where is the brotherly love?!?

This is clearly a macho exercise. Where they are just trying to survive. It is absolutely not flirting. 👀👀👀

Still not flirting.

Nope, no obvious middle school flirtation going on here.

For some quality time together, the guys cart logs through the woods. Tharn gets a glimpse into the future and sees Chart getting hurt. The better man than me, actually checks on Chart. Yes, I would have absolutely let him taste Karma. The dude is unstable! Thankfully, despite Tharn's attempt to interfere, Chart still falls.

Underwater training has them escaping from hand ties and reaching lifeboats. However, Phaya hasn't come up and Tharn is losing his shit. This is when we get a dragon and a mermaid!!! While Phaya takes the mermaid's hand, he is pulled up by Tharn.

Nothing to see here! Absolutely not a romantic moment at all.

We see Phaya drawing the mermaid, which both Tharn and Yai take notice of because she looks so much like Tharn. A lot of mocking ensues thanks to Yai who his clearly trying to play matchmaker, "You like him so much, you're even drawing his picture.". And I think it's working because when he mentions that the names are similar, we notice that Phaya finds this interesting. What I find interesting is when Yai asks why he is drawing Tharn's picture, there is no denial. Phaya simply says it's personal.

This is when we see flashbacks of the first time Phaya and Tharn meet. Yeah, it was a fated moment without a doubt.

Have I mentioned that I love Yai? Him tripping those that are after his brother is just icing on the cake.

Then Yai instigates the moment that leads to an accidental kiss.

It's at this time that they also find a body floating in the water. It ends up being one of the trainers at the faculty. Some are saying it's suicide, but that doesn't make sense to Phaya.

Tharn chases after Phaya like a golden retriever. Trying to make sure he wasn't angry about that morning. Phaya stops and trips Tharn up, Causing him to fall. Still not flirting! 👀👀👀

*Cough. Cough* Yeah, no mistaking that. We are now clearly flirting.

In celebration of passing their training, the guys go out to drink. Hilarity and comradery ensue. We find out about possible side couple having dated in the past. That our golden retriever is also cursed with bad romantic luck. Leaving him very virginal.

We get this beautiful moment in the bathroom. And that should be an oxymoron but damn if it wasn't sexy. Phaya zipping up Tharn's zipper and Tharn unable to stop himself from leaning his head back. Then Phaya throwing down the gauntlet of flirtation. Boy is no longer hiding. If Tharn is confused, then it's cause he is stupid. When they get back to the table and start playing a truth or dare game, Tharn drinks rather than admitting that he likes someone at the table. I mean, might as well admit it at this point, cause the drinking said it all. Then Phaya questioning what Tharn is like drunk. Hmmm. Me thinks he wants some secrets answered. He has his suspicions about Tharn and he wants answers. Be it Tharn or his drunk brother.

We end the episode on a bit of a cliffhanger note. With them, overhear the instructors talking about the death, and everything points to it not being a suicide.

I am 100% hooked. I can't wait for the next episode. Hope you guys enjoyed!!! 💜💜💜

[kawaiixchaotic]

billie eilish has been dropping hints about her sapphic attraction for years but felt pressured out of the closet on the red carpet today, bc it's all the interviewers kept fixating on. yes she said she is physically attracted to women in an interview recently but ppl keep pushing for details that we are not entitled to. and everyone's so happy about it too, which is funny to me. y'all switch up quick. remember when y'all accused her of "queerbaiting" over a music video and an instagram caption? bc i do. the only reasoning you all had was that she had only ever (publicly) been with boys. as if one cannot like both boys and girls. as if one has to use dating history to earn queer credit if they are attracted to multiple genders. that, and her saying she was "straight as a ruler" one time when she was 15 or smthn, which, let's get real. we've all said that. i said that. and now I'm a lesbian.

a similar situation happened with kit connor from heartstopper. he held hands with a girl and you all went fucking ballistic. to me his case was worse bc he got practically kicked and shoved out of the closet. he didn't get to come out on his own terms. i hope you guys aren't still expecting anything from that poor kid, bc he doesn't owe any of you bullies anything, and i wouldn't blame him if thoughts about the heartstopper fandom leave a bad taste in his mouth to this day.

so why am i bringing all this up? bc there's something particular about the online LGBTQ+ community that has been bothering me for years now: Check your biphobia. Because clearly it is affecting your worldview a whole lot more than you think, no matter how young you are, or how progressive you think you are.

Any public figure who even alludes to liking multiple genders, you put under a microscope. you wait for them to "prove it" to you. any action they take that doesn't feel queer enough to you, you pounce. they are (i feel, deliberately) misinterpreted and ostracized, and what hurts most is, we are supposed to be there for anyone who is questioning their sexuality as a safe space, to help them figure themselves out, answer their questions. and yet somehow we've become their biggest opps. what hurts more is the fact that it's mostly very young people doing this! I don't know if you're all just looking for things to be mad at or what. But I could honestly rant about this for all of eternity so let me end it with this:

TLDR; by taking the stance that public figures have to show and prove their queerness, you are furthering biphobic stererotypes, and by drawing the ridiculous conclusion that an individual is "queerbaiting," (which is a corporate marketing tactic, ffs) you are freezing them in time and being unreasonable about the amount of growth and self-discovery we do as human beings. grace should not only be afforded to those who are "out," and only validating queerness if someone announces it is unfair and ignores the many circumstances that could prevent someone from coming out, like risking danger at home, legal persecution, or simply a want for privacy. STOP BEING SUCH INSUFFERABLE LITTLE ASSHOLES.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.

[rootytootypie]

❤️💨🫘😳🤢🦸‍♂️for Spiderman please. Uhhhh not the Tom Holland one, the adult versions just to be clear hehe

💨: On a scale of gassiness, Peter is definitely a reticient seven. He doesn’t go around tooting his horn at all, but his Aunt May knows this (other) little secret. She thinks it’s the sweetest thing her nephew is so polite, but she always makes sure there’s Gas X, ginger ale, and mint around the house to settle his poor stomach. She also definitely makes sure Mary Jane is in on it once Peter moves out, so even at ESU, he’s well stocked with remedies for his tummy troubles. MJ is super subtle about it, making sure he doesn’t realize she knows until he’s ready to tell her (mostly because he’d be mortified if he know his aunt told his crush all about how he’s not actually an avid tuba player, and in fact has never even owned the instrument). Peter’s actually more shy with friends and family than strangers, mostly because he finds his loud gas so embarrassing, but also because he doesn’t want to worry anyone with his stomach problems.

🫘: Peter and beans have a dangerous, odiferous affair going. He knows he shouldn’t touch them in any form, but in one of the culinary capitals of the world, how can he resist refried beans, bean dip, bean chips, and all the forms it takes that have Peter swinging home tooting like a tugboat? They just smell so good going in? How can they stink so much coming out? Yes, they require a retreat to a fortress of solitude (his bedroom at May’s, the dorm room at peak party times so Harry’s out, or his apartment), but the taste makes it worth it. He pines, he perishes (mostly because he’s a little afraid Triple J will declare Spidey a gaseous menace).

😳: When you’re gassy like Peter, you definitely have a few embarrassing farts in your memory banks. But there only one that can be decreed the worst.

It was Peter’s first college party at ESU, in the extreme ostentatious Alpha Mu Pi mansion on campus. The place was cavernous, with no doors clearly marked and most of the freshman being as clueless to the layout as he was. This was very bad, because his nerves had driven him to packing in the chips and bean dip abandoned in the corner. And after about fifteen chips, Peter’s stomach was bubbling. He was sure it was brewing something nasty.

His lack of direction led him to a door another random guy thought might be the bathroom. Instead, as Peter flung the door open and saw two guys making out, he let out a *BBBBBBRRRRRRbbbbbblllllrllllrllrllllllBBBBB!* that rang out louder than the music pumping on the stereo. Everyone was looking at him, including the gay couple, one of whom happened to be Rodney Worth, the starting quarterback who just transferred from Crofton University.

Peter and his fart had just accidentally outed the quarterback to a packed frat party. For weeks, he hung his head in shame, especially as the news hit the school paper. He not only embarrassed himself, he’d ruined some poor guy’s life (I’m partly picturing the Spideyverses of the past films, so it’s technically always the 2000s/early 2010s in their universe; i.e. Rodney would NOT be in for a fun time). He finally sighed, gathered up his courage, and went to Rodney to apologize.

He found Rodney under a tree in the quad, openly reading James Joyce to his boyfriend. “Can I talk to you, Rodney,” Peter asked nervously. The broad shouldered football player nodded and stood up, following Pete a few steps away.

“I’m really sorry for outing you,” Peter said. “It was an accident, but I know that doesn’t make things better, so I’m just plain sorry that the news spread so much, and-”

“Sorry,” Rodney said, perplexed. “I’ve been wanting to thank you. I’m finally free to be who I am, and fuck anyone who thinks badly of it. Because of you, I’m not burdened by any secrets. I’m gay and proud.”

“Oh,” Peter said, surprised. “Well, that’s great. I’m glad there was a positive side for you.”

“Do me a favor, though,” Rodney asked with a grin. “Lay off the bean dip, okay?”

❤️: Peter was downright terrified to fart in front of MJ. He was afraid one toot would be the thing to make her snap out of dating him and remember him as a geeky neighbor boy instead of a boyfriend. He held it pretty steadfastly…until one night when they end up on the coach together watching a movie - and the popcorn mixed in his belly with the bean chips he ate as a quick snack. Peter shifted, ready to head for the bathroom - just as she rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his waist. She looked up at him, and her eyes made him want to melt. “I’m so glad we get a night to ourselves,” she said. “No urgent crimes to interrupt, no crazy missions, or jacked up supervillains. Just you and me.”

“Same,” Peter squeaked, his voice breaking from nerves.

“Are you alright,” MJ asked. “You look kinda feverish. Can you still get sick?”

“I’m fine,” Peter protested. “Just…happy. Content. Can’t believe how lucky I am.”

“Yeah…okay,” MJ said. “If you’re sure.”

“Sure as shootin’,” Peter heard himself say, and blushed. Where the hell did come from? At least his embarrassing little problems is under wraps-

*PrrrrrooooooBLLLPBLLPBLLP!*

“Oh, God, MJ, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I-”

“Finally showed me your tuba playing,” MJ snarked, giggling.

Peter pouted. “Just for that, I’m gonna point out you toot in your sleep,” he groused.

“Aw, Pete,” she said. “Is it really bad? There’s some ginger ale in the fridge I can get you.”

“…Okay,” Peter agreed. “But if I have to fart more, will you still cuddle me?”

“Duh,” MJ said. “Just stand up if you have to shoot webs out of your butt, because I just bought this couch from Pottery Barn.”

“…I love you,” he said, giving her puppy dog eyes. “And I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sor- Oh, my God, that’s vile! Talk about silent but violent. Apology accepted! …Now come back here, I’m cold.”

🤢: Peter is very easily grossed out by certain people’s farts. Certain people being Flash Thompson on a power trip farting in his general direction. Other than that example of fart torture (not really my scene), Peter is sorta ambivalent to farts. Well, the one exception is when he sneaks up on criminals and one of them farts in surprise. That cracks him up. He’s definitely as much of a worrier as his friends are about him, and happily give out tummy rubs and forehead kisses to any of his girlfriends who are gassy for whatever reason, but especially period cramps.

🦸‍♂️: He doesn’t fart web. That said, his sudden bean intolerance only came after he was bitten by the spider. Before that, he didn’t struggle with any food. There have been times the resulting farts propelled him forward by a few extra centimeters as he swings through the city, so the gas has also definitely gotten more powerful since he became super. It’s as if the bite gave him extra protein farts as a consequence of his newly developed bod.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

captive prince book 1 highlights & annotations

chapter 7

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Seeing no reason whatsoever to cooperate with that order, Damen stood up.

very much a “damen is not a slave” moment. this is the opposite of what they’ve been trained to do.

‘You are really courting danger tonight,’ Laurent said. ‘Am I? I thought I was appealing to your better nature. Order whatever punishment you like, from the coward’s distance of a chain-length. You and Govart are two of a kind.’

yessss, question his integrity! i love that they both get really pissed off when they’re implied to be bad people, but only by each other. it’s like they’ve mutually identified each other as their own personal moral arbiters, and couldn’t stop caring even if they tried.

Laurent transferred his gaze back to Damen and said, pleasantly, ‘Does that bother you? I recall you being free with your own hands, not so very long ago.’ ‘That was—’ Damen flushed. He wanted to deny that he’d done anything of the kind, but he remembered rather unequivocally that he had.

called out for enjoying the bath scene a little too much

‘I promise you, Govart did a great deal more than simply enjoy the view.’

vine boom so you WERE enjoying the view

‘To a slave,’ Laurent said. ‘The Prince’s Guard doesn’t interfere with the Regency. Govart can stick his cock into anything of my uncle’s he likes.’ Damen made a sound of disgust. ‘With your blessing?’ ‘Why not?’ said Laurent. His voice was honeyed. ‘He certainly had my blessing to fuck you, but it turned out he’d rather take a blow to the head. Disappointing, but I can’t fault his taste. Then again, maybe if you’d spread in the ring, Govart wouldn’t have been so hot to get inside your friend.’

context of what laurent is implying here (not what’s actually true): this is not laurent’s command or responsibility, but the regent’s. and it’s somehow damen’s fault that this happened to erasmus, because he didn’t let govart take him instead, which is what laurent had intended to happen. massive laurent ethical L on both counts. do better.

Damen said, ‘This isn’t a scheme of your uncle’s. I don’t take orders from men like Govart. You’re wrong.’ ‘Wrong,’ said Laurent. ‘How lucky I am to have servants to point out my shortcomings. What makes you think I will tolerate any of this, even if I believed what you are saying to be true?’ ‘Because you can end this conversation any time you like.’

damen won this interaction! called out laurent for clearly giving a shit, because he’s still talking!

also, craft note: great back-and-forth throughout this entire exchange

With so much at stake, Damen was sick of certain kinds of exchanges; the kind Laurent favoured, and enjoyed, and was good at. Wordplay for its own sake; words that built traps. None of it meant anything.

i have several hundred annotations that suggest otherwise

‘When someone doesn’t like you very much, it isn’t a good idea to let them know that you care about something,’ said Laurent.

context: nicaise :( and horse :( and a lot of things :(

break the cycle of abuse laurent i know you can do it

‘Would it hurt worse than a lashing for me to cut down someone you care for?’ said Laurent.

context: laurent knows, from experience, that the answer is yes

‘I don’t think I need to bring in more men,’ said Laurent. ‘I think all I have to do is tell you to kneel, and you’ll do it. Without me lifting a finger to help anyone.’ ‘You’re right,’ said Damen. ‘I can end this any time I like?’ said Laurent. ‘I haven’t even begun.’

damen won the confrontation morally, and they both know it. laurent won in practice by being intentionally immoral, and instead reminding damen that he has been given power over him that he can abuse. this is exactly what the regent has done to laurent, over and over again. sad.

Laurent said, ‘There is no bargain between us. A prince does not make deals with slaves and insects. Your promises are worth less to me than dirt. Do you understand me?’ ‘Perfectly,’ said Damen.

translation: “you win.” “i know.”

Damen rethought that particular approach. He turned over the information he’d just been given. Re-examined it. Turned it over again. ‘What changed your mind?’ Damen said, carefully.

context: maybe i’m too optimistic, but i think it’s genuinely an ethical decision on laurent’s part. there’s a strategic purpose in here, too, but that’s more of a convenience. laurent knew he was wrong, and might have even connected himself to his uncle and disliked the similarity. he doesn’t act smug when he’s doing something he doesn’t want to do, but he knows he should do this. that’s why he’s pissed at damen, but not playful about it at all. so i do think this was ultimately a “laurent was called on his bullshit, and has too much integrity not to act based on that callout” thing.

‘I’m not sure that I believe anything that you’ve just told me,’ Damen said. ‘Do you have a choice?’ ‘No.’

silver lining for laurent: re-asserts his own power and moral high ground by helping damen, instead of threatening him in a way they both know is fucked up

He has experienced things many adults have not, and his mind is no longer that of a child.

laurent would know :(

‘Is there anyone at this court who isn’t my enemy?’ ‘Not if I can help it,’ Laurent said.

okay this is just him being mean. it’s his enrichment 

‘So he’s tame,’ said Estienne, and reached out tentatively, as though to pat a wild animal. It was a question of which part of the animal he was patting. Damen knocked his hand away. Estienne gave a yelp and snatched his hand back, nursing it against his chest. ‘Not that tame,’ said Laurent. He didn’t reprimand Damen. He didn’t seem particularly displeased with barbaric behaviour, as long as it was directed outward. Like a man who enjoys owning an animal who will rake others with its claws but eat peacefully from his own hand, he was giving his pet a great deal of license.

they’re insane

As a result, courtiers kept one eye on Damen, giving him a wide berth. Laurent used that to his advantage, using the propensity of courtiers to fall back in reaction to Damen’s presence as a means of extricating himself smoothly from conversation. The third time this happened Damen said, ‘Shall I make a face at the ones you don’t like, or is it enough to just look like a barbarian?’ ‘Shut up,’ said Laurent, calmly.

emotional collapse animal to keep people from annoying laurent. love the banter here. damen knows that’s exactly what’s happening, and laurent is annoyed that he knows, because it makes him seem like an antisocial loser, which he is

Torveld was a handsome man in his forties

ew. leave laurent alone. he’s like half your age and he has specific trauma that makes this particularly uncomfortable

He reconciled himself to an evening of listening to Laurent lying a great deal, about everything. Laurent was a nest of scorpions in the body of one person. To hear that Akielos was weakened was as painful as Laurent must have meant it to be.

context: not entirely sold on the idea that laurent is having this conversation about akielos specifically to upset damen, but i get why damen feels that way

‘I wish we had more time together,’ said Torveld, showing no inclination to rise.

GET A JOB. STAY AWAY FROM HER

‘Nephew. You were not invited to these discussions.’ ‘And yet, here I am. It’s very irritating, isn’t it?’ said Laurent. ‘You’ve never applied yourself seriously to anything in your life.’ ‘Haven’t I? Well, then it’s nothing serious, uncle. You have no cause to worry.’

laurent applies himself seriously to most, if not all, of the things he chooses to do. regent just dislikes that laurent has a choice and uses it.

[rae-writes]

sacrilege

Venti, Zhongli x reader

wc : 1.k

warnings : suggestive, a bit of spice

synopsis : putting their statues to good use

a/n : surprise, new fandom- on another note though, the hc of getting down and dirty near/on their statues sends me so I wrote this

Imagine not yet being in a relationship with Venti, stuck in the ‘more than friends but not quite lovers’ stage. It irritates you, some days, though you don’t do anything about it; Venti’s a playful- flirty -bastard, especially when there’s alcohol flowing through him. You wanted him to make the first move, just in case you were getting all the signs wrong, but…archons does said archon keep you waiting. 

Day after day, compliment after compliment. A suggestive remark here and there, a little affectionate lovin sprinkled in, and a week later before you were at your wits end. 

If you wanted Venti, you’d just have to make him come to you. 

And if the anemo god was so playful and mischievous in nature, why couldn’t you return the favor? 

Instead of frequenting Angel’s Share, like the two of you had planned, the bluenette was scurrying the city in search of you. 

It shouldn’t have been hard, as most of the townsfolk were centered around the plaza tonight, but Venti couldn’t find you anywhere. He was just about to start panicking when a soft melody caught his ears. 

His quiet steps echoed as he made his way to his statue, eyes darting around curiously to find you— he knew your voice from a mile away. 

Oh, but when he finally noticed where you were, his mouth ran dry. The only parts of you that were visible were your arms, which were stretched out to feel the breeze that blew occasionally— you were laying on your back, right in the palm of his statue’s hands. 

Just picturing the sight in his mind had Venti shifting with heat building in his stomach and a twinge of possessiveness ready to be unleashed. And the song, he’d finally noticed, while soft, was entirely too sensual to be sung aloud in such a public place; you clearly knew he’d come looking for you. 

Almost like you could hear his thoughts, you’d turned, draping yourself over the stone and peering down at him like he was the mortal and you were the god. 

There was no shortage of amusement swimming in your eyes, narrowed down at him playfully with a small little smirk peeking out from behind the arm your head rested on. 

“My lord. What brings you here tonight?” 

A deep breath. A moment to feel the breeze blow past him before opening his eyes to meet your self-satisfied gaze. “Y/n.” 

“Something the matter?” You stretched yourself out, smoothly shifting into an innocently provocative pose. “Bar-ba-tos?”

Within a flash, Venti had you pinned down onto the cold stone, eyes dark and lips curled into a matching smirk. He’d easily figured out this entire plan of yours, but it was smart- he could admit - and he could also admit that—

“I like hearing my name fall from these pretty lips. Say it again.”

You grinned. “Venti.” 

Is this what they call getting a taste of your own medicine? He supposes he doesn’t mind, it was your little attitude that finally gave him the push to slam his lips over your own. His tongue met yours a bit desperately but you were all too happy to oblige. 

“Am I finally yours? Are you gonna quit making me wait? Barbatos?” 

Venti actually moaned, “Fuck yes, you’re mine. Always been mine— now show me how bad you want it, hm? Worship me.” 

-

Imagine being in a sweet little relationship with Zhongli, seen as the picture perfect couple that’s sure to get married and live happily ever after in the future. And while you agree wholeheartedly, sometimes you crave a little bit more than soft touches and gentle kisses and slow paces. Sometimes you crave things just a bit rougher. 

Yet how does one bring that up? Especially to someone who came from being a wholly rough individual that treats you like you are glass, simply because he wishes to not hurt you?

You didn’t know. So you thought you might just coax it out of him, slowly, until that molten glimmer in his pretty eyes took over and you were faced with Rex Lapis- Morax - instead of the Zhongli you usually saw. 

It was easy, once you’d gotten the perfect idea. You were to meet with your boyfriend on the outskirts of Liyue, to which you innocently suggested meeting in front of a geo statue, and he agreed. 

And Zhongli isn’t sure if he regrets it or not as he stares up at you with a carefully molded blank look, scanning over your body as you bathe in the sun. 

You were seated directly in the statue’s lap, legs thrown over its parted ones while one of your arms was curled around the back of its neck. It was a downright heat-pooling sight. 

Which you knew, of course, as you peeked one eye open to glance down at your lover, whose hands were now balling the front of his pants. “Hello, darling.” 

“Beloved. May I ask…why you are seated up there?” 

“I wanted to bask in the sun while I waited for you.” Lies. Your eyes told him everything and you knew that too. “Sitting in Lord Morax’s lap is almost like sitting in yours…I wonder why?” 

You knew that Zhongli was Morax— he’d told you before he even dared ask you to be his. You’d never mentioned his former names, though, not having any need to. 

It made him growl.

A single thread was all that was left of his composure. He could feel it fraying. He knew you could too. 

“Please come down from there. You could get hurt, my love.”

You took a pair of shears to that last thread happily as you turned like you were about to climb down, pausing briefly in your kneeling position. You stopped right between the statue’s legs. 

When your feet finally touched the ground, a tail was the last thing you expected to coil around you and drag you forwards, slamming your body into its owner’s. 

Zhongli was gorgeous all the time, but you had to say, the horns, claws, fangs, and tail were an exceptional new addition. 

“My, my. To what do I owe this pleasure, almighty Rex Lapis?” 

Another growl, “You should be careful of what you ask for, Y/n. I assure you that dealing with an archon is more than you are bargaining for.”

“It’s exactly what I’m bargaining for. You’ve claimed me as yours and made love to me countless times before— now I want you to ruin me. Please?” 

Zhongli’s eyes flashed a brilliant gold, “As my beloved wishes. Be prepared.”

[thisisthinprivilege]

Submitted anonymously

One day I will describe to you the entirety of my hellish experience at the school of public health of which I attend, but until then here is just a sampling.

As a fat person, attending a public health school is extremely difficult (more difficult than I realized it would be) for many reasons, but two of those reasons are the two mandatory classes. I’m in an introductory public health class now and though it is supposed to cover all aspects of public health, every single one of the first ten lectures discussed obesity. We have guest speakers and they have all addressed it in some way or another.

The thing is, their topic may not have anything to do with weight specifically, but they always find a way to work it into their lesson. For instance, one woman was discussing the difficulties of surveying populations. She mentioned that the weight category was often a difficult one with regard to accuracy when people are self-reporting. She mentioned that no one ever says they are a heavier weight, because hell why would they-that would just be embarrassing for most people. This is not an exact quote, but it is pretty close.

First of all she laughed while she said this-super professional- and second, people with secret eating disorders would absolutely lie to say they weighed heavier in order to help cover up their secret. It was really frustrating to have this public health professional be so immature about such an important topic.

The worst thing about this class so far, however, has been the student presentations. A few have been about obesity (I think there is a competition over who can say the word obesity more frequently) and none of them have treated the topic with the least bit of sensitivity, maturity, or professionalism. The worst one started with showing graphs about how high weight correlates with low socioeconomic status, so far this is reasonable and points out a lot of issues America is having with regard to cheap food due to government subsidies. It took a turn for the worst when beside his talking points he showed degrading images. The first image showed a kid having trouble deciphering the difference between chocolate cake and a pile of vegetables, thereby reinforcing the stereotype that fat people really don’t know the difference themselves. The second image showed a very fat child eating at a McDonalds. I wondered if this child had consented to his picture being taken in the first place, much less put on the internet and made into a meme where this presenter presumably found it.

When people laughed at the image I felt disgusted and bile rise in my throat. What kind of monsters laugh at children; my peers are supposed to be professional adults.

Finally he ended his presentation with discussing ways to reduce obesity, but instead of discussing ways to close socioeconomic and inequality gaps, he only focused on what fat people need to do. He said that though doctors are telling fat patients to lose weight there must be some disconnect because so far it hasn’t worked so doctors should double down on fat patients. He was clearly implying that fat people were too stupid to understand their doctors the first few thousand times and just completely ignored how low socioeconomic levels come into play, even though he knew they did.

The second presentation discussed how sugary drinks caused obesity and because of that we should make labels more transparent. I am all for transparency when it comes to food labels, but there are a myriad of reasons for why sugary drinks are bad, not just because they make you fat. He then showed ads that “more accurately describe sugary drink products” rather than the ones with celebrities that are shown now. These ads showed faceless fat people with words that suggested that people not drink sugary drinks if they don’t want to look this way. These ads were in poor taste and extremely degrading.

Finally, the third presentation that was completely unprofessional discussed how black women had higher rates of deaths from breast cancer than white women. She said at the beginning these results controlled for BMI, but then went on to discuss how obesity played a huge role. She said that black women tended to be fatter than white women and that this trend in weight followed the trend in breast cancer death rates and that obesity must be the reason.

This reasoning seemed like she was just trying to find a reason to further blame fat people for all health problems. She said fat women had breast cancer detected later than thin women and I couldn’t help but wonder if that was because fat women are afraid to go to the doctor because they know they’ll be fat shamed. She had no discussion on that, just discussion on how black women needed to be educated on better food choices so that they and their children won’t be obese.

I have no problem in educating people on nutrition and helping them pay for groceries as one of her suggested programs discussed, but I do have a problem with only targeting fat people. Not all thin people understand healthy nutrition and not all fat people need to be educated. It is these assumptions that all fat people are lazy, stupid, ignorant, and in desperate need of a savior that make me feel both angry and full of despair at the same time. I have to give my presentation next week (about air quality), but I am honestly wondering how I am going to be able to do so in front of a group of people that can’t take me seriously because they find me to be both disgusting and an idiot. I have never felt so anxious in my life.

[suzaeuphysolos]

Gonna go on a little rant here. Something I have noticed is that Nina seems to be held to a really different standard than other characters in Code Geass who have been racist. Racism comes in different forms, and in no form is it ever okay. Do not continue to read this post thinking that I am saying that anything racist that has been done or said by any character in Code Geass is okay. I am just pointing out that Nina seems to get the most criticism while other characters are excused. Many of the Britannian characters have done or said racist things at some point in the series, including most of the student council such as Rivalz, who makes a comment about how Japanese people are not as smart as Britannians. Even Lelouch (who by the way really does kinda weaponize the suffering of the Japanese people to seek out personal revenge on Britannia) makes a really gross and distasteful comment about the genocide of the Japanese people, and we all know how that ends. There are many examples, but my favorite is Cornelia, who is straight up genocidal towards Japanese people. There is a scene where she massacres them in her knightmare and refers to them as vermin. Throughout the series, she continues to exhibit this behavior, and I never see any criticism or even hatred for her. When you compare Cornelia and her genocidal hatred of Japanese people to Nina who is scared of them... this is where I lose the fandom. I have seen many people mistake Nina for being genocidal, but it is evident (and has now been confirmed in Recapture) that her motivations for making FLEIJA were based on knowledge, as well as continued manipulation though Schneizel. During the scene where she wants it fired, she states very clearly that it is to kill Zero, not to kill innocent citizens. I could make a separate post about this misunderstanding, but let me get back on track. Nina occasionally makes very inappropriate comments that come from the propaganda she has been fed by Britannian society, which has warped her view of the world, but she does not hate anyone, the only people she truly hates is herself and Zero. Furthermore, Nina comes to understand everywhere she was wrong, and works to change herself. She helps Lelouch with the Zero Requiem. Even in Recapture, we see her directly fighting against Britannian colonialism. I don't recall Cornelia at any point in R2 ever showing any significant change. The closest she got to that was “hey Schneizel, nuking the entire world is bad!” Which is like yea... it sure is, Cornelia. I really do not understand what it is that separates Nina from these other characters, especially those who have done worse in this aspect. You will recall at the beginning that I said that racism comes in different forms and that it is never excusable, and that is true. What I am saying is that I wish other racist characters were held to the same standard as Nina when we are criticizing them. Nina is my favorite character, and I am not above criticizing her. Liking a character means that you should be able to admit where they are flawed and wrong. This also isn't me saying that anyone has to like Nina, Cornelia, or any character that did something racist that understandably left a sour taste in their mouth. What I am saying is that rather we like or dislike a character, we should still be able to discuss them critically, especially for a story like Code Geass with so many complex issues at hand.

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Hi. How do you do? I'm here to vent🪑:

So I'm a Jikooker (yes I know, foolish. But once I get into something, it's hard to let go. That's just who I am, unfortunately). I'm a Jimin-biased Jikooker and one of the well-known Jikooker blogs I follow (I won't mention their name because I don't want to bring them hate) made a shady post about PJMs about two days ago. They said Jimin is the member who attracts the weirdest solos. When PJMs came for them, they switched up on some "all solos are bad/it's dumb being a solo".

But they explained why they don't like PJMs specifically, said that group have been the one who've always attacked them the most, so they say these things based on their own personal experiences. Which is understandable, right? I know all the members' solos hate Jimin specifically and spend their days saying the ugliest things about him, but I personally hate JJKs the most because they are the worst of them all, they make Jimin biased people's experience very unpleasant online, they say the most horribly awful things about Jimin..

This blogger said it's funny how PJMs who accuse her of being a JM anti also accuse her of being a JK stan in the same breath and that she didn't understand why it's PJMs always flocking to their blog and not other members' solos. I sent them an ask about this, saying the reason why only that specific group of people keep coming for them and why they accuse them of such things is probably because they've always had high praises for JK while being dismissive of Jimin/anything about him and only praising him the context of the ship.

For example, around May last year, they'd say things like "JK is going to be the member to really blow it out of the park" in terms of success about 'Seven' and his upcoming solo album. They once answered a shady ask that said JK doesn't look like he baths these days and they said "you know you're talented as hell as an artist when antis drag you about bathing. It's because they know they can't drag him about his singing, dancing and performing because he does all those exceedingly well. Man is goated AF". There's nothing wrong with what they said, people have different tastes and JK is clearly the best thing since sliced bread for them.

But then in another ask/post, they'd talk about how they don't like Jimin's voice at all because it sounds too nasal. Which is also fine, because like I said, different tastes. But the contrast between how they talk about JK vs how they talk about JM makes sense as the reason why people would flock to their blog and call them a JM anti/JK solo, isn't it?

This person has made posts that have so obviously been heavily biased towards JK. They say they're OT7 and they don't bias JK at all but their many posts about JK vs about the other members seriously contradict that. They try to come across as "I love all seven equally" (although they did admit that their affection for Tae has waned) but just going through their entire blog or following them for the past three years as I have will show you that's a complete lie and that they obviously love Jungkook a lot more than the others.

I told them about the times they'd speak so well about JK from an artist point of view - they praise his dance, praise his singing, praise him as a person, as Jungkook the individual outside of Jikook. But every time it comes to Jimin, it's "gosh that man is so sexy. I bet you JK tires that ąss out", every time Jimin posts a dance video, it's "but JK is truly such a lucky man". It's never praises about Jimin as an individual and an artist. No, those praises have to involve JK, and they have to be about sex. And it's understandable why Jimin biased people/PJMs would get triggered because we've had to deal with the fandom erasing Jimin's talent as achievements and reducing him to being "cute, sexy, fckable".

I also mentioned the FACE to Seven to GOLDEN era when people sent them asks about how Jimin seems to be getting sabotaged by the company for JK and how the fandom attacked Jimin for getting not even 1% of what JK got but kept quite when JK got it all, and how they (the blogger) dismissed the anons who said the company is sabotaging JM but had all the time in the world to talk about how terrible Jimin's solo stans are for attacking JK for his career choices.

I told them that most Jikook accounts who seem so biased towards JK and defend what HYBE has been doing to Jimin in favour of JK, eventually became JK solo focused accounts after 'Seven'. I don't think they'd ever become a solo, though, because they seem to really care about some other members (I just don't think Jimin is one of them lol)

I told them that for all these reasons, I don't blame people for accusing them of being a JK solo/Jimin anti. I thought they'd respond to my ask because I genuinely wanted to understand their perspective but they made a bullsht post saying they've blocked all anons because people just want them to explain themselves over and over again and that they don't like PJMs and we'll just have to deal with it.

I laughed. Because it's so obvious they didn't know how to respond to my ask so they took the easy way out and at the end of the day, they win, because they get to twist things and make their followers see things as they want them to see them and Jimin stans are forever the bad guy.

Someone called them out on always having the time to write posts about how Jimin stans are "being weird" and attacking "other members" again (the "other members" is always JK lol because this bloggers posts always come out when PJMs attack JK. They never complain when PJMs are all up on Yoongi or Tae or the others) but never calling out JJK for attacking others, especially Jimin. Their response was "I actually talked about this on my personal account and vented to a friend but everything always has to be said publicly for y'all". Sure, Jan. It's very convenient how they can always complain about PJMs publicly for all to see but when it's about Jungkook's stans it has to be done privately. They talked about "solo stans" (it was PJMs who said those disgusting things and we all know) accusing JK of being groomed by BangPD and sleeping his way to the top, but there has never been a single post about how "solo stans" have been saying the exact same things about Jimin for years and especially during FACE era, and how they've said even worse things.

Anyway I just wanted to say I'm so done with Jikookers. They don't care about Jimin at all, never did. I should have seen it with the "Jimin would be ashamed to see you guys saying JK doesn't seem to care that Jimin's career is being hurt because of him", when that's literally what it looks like. I should have seen it with the "why do people hate Jikook so much?" comments, when it's actually only Jimin getting hate and Jungkook being portrayed as the trapped victim. Even Taehyung gets more defended by them: every time other Jikookers hate Taehyung for "deliberately feeding Taekookers" (as they say) these Jikook bloggers write lengthy posts about Taehyung alone, highlighting his "innocent" personality and the times he's shown how much he adores his members and would never hurt anyone of them. But when Jimin gets accused of being an attention seeker, a fanservice king who enjoys "feeding Jokers", they write lengthy posts about JIKOOK and their bond/moments.

They really do not care about Jimin at all. I wonder what they see when they look at him. I really wish I could literally see through their eyes and find out how they really see Jimin because it's all so bizarre.

I remember saying once that Jungkook biased jikookers were the most delusional jikookers. Most Jimin biased people jumped ship a few years ago, and now all there's left is Jungkook biased jikookers. They're the majority, by a landslide. Literally 4/5 jikook blogs you come across on Tumblr, are Jungkook biased. And they're all delusional, they all talk the same way, share the same theories, etc. In general, Jungkook has always had the most shipper fans out of all the members because he's shipped with everyone. Anyways, I said they were the most delusional and my point gets proven everyday.

I genuinely believe you have to be able to will yourself into ignoring a lot of things about Jungkook to be his fan, and I say that from first-hand experience because at some point in history I used to like him a lot, too. But there was always a "wish he hadn't done that wish he hadn't said that". In almost every piece of content, there was without fail a moment where I felt like I had to settle for Jungkook; "oh well he's too young; oh well he's awkward at expressing himself; oh well he didn't think that through; oh well he's impulsive". Eventually, I just got tired and bored of the same shit year after year. Speaking only about attitude though, his attitude is better than it was a couple of years ago, at least on the surface, and I have no qualms about admitting that. But I'm not really a second chance type of person so it's been over.

If she's a jikookers she's obviously gonna have readers who are interested in Jimin and Jungkook both together and separately. Why is she wondering about Jimin "solos" going to her blog? Is she stupid? She must be. Because if she didn't want pjms or Jimin biased people to reach out to her, then maybe she could just dissociate Jimin from her blog and that's it. It's not that hard. But if she keeps calling herself a joker...

This isn't about pjms. I have no business defending them and myself I've made fun of them and all before. But what's fair is fair, and the truth is that they're not the worst. Please, a lot of them even felt bad for Taehyung when Jungkook was having his 2739483rd listening party during layover's release.

Sexually charged insults, edits, racism, nepotism accusations, blowing up fake info in hopes it'll turn into a scandal. All done against Jimin by Jungkook's fans, both solos and taekookers. Who were the first ones to call Jimin a sexual predator? Who were the first people to accuse Jimin of sleeping with CEOs? Exactly. And it's been YEARS. This isn't something that started in July 2023; it's been going on for fucking years, since 2017 if not before. I talk about it because I saw it all while it was happening, and I saw pjms walking away from the fandom and becoming solos. They didn't even hate on the members until it got really bad -die a hero or live long enough to become the villain or whatever.

You'd take a look at pjm twitter in 2018, 2019, 2020 and it was all Jimin content, "hybe mistreating Jimin" threads (that had NOTHING to do with other members), and even some ship content enjoying yoonmin, vmin, jikook, because pjms actually liked them. Those were pjms. Meanwhile, taekook lives already existed. Meanwhile, DC gallery was already filling up with the most disgusting stuff about Jimin that wasn't even true.

Every time anyone mentioned the hate against Jimin, it was "move silently, block and report, do not engage". Okay, cool. Now, there's hate against Jungkook and it's rant after rant about pjms. What happened to just block and report silently? Now they're enraged enough to talk about it? Now they want to bring attention to it and call it out for the sick behavior it is? Now, when it's against Jungkook but not when it was against Jimin?

The other thing is that jikookers don't want to admit that they're in bed with taekookers. Taekookers are ALSO Jungkook stans. Jungkook solos, taekookers, they're all Jungkook stans but jikookers don't want to hold accountable for what they say and instead they charge against pjms because they don't want to be grouped with people as deranged as taekookers for being a Jungkook fan. They try their hardest to not associate Jungkook to his solos because in their mind, the fans actually do represent the idol. So Jungkookie can't have deranged fans under any circumstance; it's all and only pjms. Deep down, that's exactly what they're doing; in their minds, pjms are a representation of Jimin, but Jungkook solos, taekookers and deranged jikookers are not a representation of Jungkook. How does that work?

My personal favorite is when they say 'how can Jimin have such evil fans when he's the kindest?". What do they mean? That Jungkook deserves to have jjks and taekookers as fans? Mmmmm!!! If solo stans are a representation of the members, what does it say of Jungkook that he has fans like muri?

I don't know if you're talking about who I think you're talking about, but I've seen a blog that sounds a lot like what you're describing. Someone sent me a link once, and I replied to their ask. I can't look for it right now, but I'll try to search for it during the weekend. So, I saw that blog and it was essay after essay about seven and the tools from the company and scooter, etc. Defending all of it. Which, okay if they think it's cool. But anyone who dared to say that Jimin was neglected and Jungkook was pushed by favoritism or something along those words, while not even being mean about it, mind you, a lot of people just wondering why; they were like "just say you're a Jimin solo and go". That's how they'd reply. Everyone, anyone who dared to have a different opinion or a less than favoring one about Jungkook or his career, was immediately called an anti and a solo. A Jimin solo, mind you.

Then, I also saw this ask:

So, someone saying "I hate so many things about jimin" is "not a rare breed", but saying "Jungkook payola" is an anti, and stupid and a Jimin solo.

It seems criticism -whatever the type- about one of them is okay, but if it's about the other it's bad? If that isn't the literal definition of bias...

Imagine I went to her and said this exact thing or something similar but about Jungkook, pointing out a thing I don't like about him; do you think I would get a "sameee you're so valid" or would I get lectured on all the good things about him?

If they're so bright, so quick on their feet, so much better than solos, how come they didn't think this could be a Jimin anti pretending to be a fan? How come they didn't get labeled as an akgae of other member immediately?

I don't know how they don't get tired or bored of pretending. Is life really that dull for them that they have to create a whole personality on the internet? Pretending they like someone they don't really like?

At the very least, people should begin to question themselves why it's okay to talk freely about Jimin's voice, or any other thing they see as flaws in him, and they're okay with those conversations; but they cry and throw up if someone says the dumbest, smallest shit about Jungkook? Just accepting that you don't care about both of them in the same way, and that you believe one is more talented and more deserving than the other, could be a good start.

[muraenide]

This miiiiight be oversharing personal sentiments a little bit but...

Ever since I changed my rules to include an explicit list of what I'm going to write on this blog instead of just a simple, brief statement saying "dark things will be present here" and started actively following people or mutuals of mutuals whose muses or writing I am genuinely interested in/have spiked my interests, I've grown a lot happier about the contents and people I'm seeing on my dash.

I felt like tum.blr rpers have grown incredibly judgemental and incapable of minding their own business. People all around me seem to have shifted their energy onto focusing on offending as few people as possible instead of trying to actually have fun, and the rpc has become a weird circle for activism when it shouldn't have been used as a medium for (false) activism in the first place. Not all of us are here to make a point or to establish a legacy. In fact, most of us are just here to have fun and scratch an itch in the brain or fill in gaps that canon source materials haven't been able to provide. But the idea of this is incomprehensible to some people who are actively ruining the rpc and making everyone fear that they're walking on eggshells while they spiral into a depressing state of existing to not offend anyone instead of existing to have fun.

I've lost count of the number of times people tell me that I'm on a DNI for "writing with pro.ship.pers" or "writing romantic ships with an adult and a minor" (<- said ship is between a 17 y.o. and a 19 y.o.) sometimes it's also ships about fake incest.

(Just as an aside, I've grown so desensitized by being on DNIs that it's no longer something to feel anything about. I'd just go through their rules with a very confused expression if to see what they took issue with. Most of the time I don't even know the mun personally.)

I've gotten more hate directed at me for writing fake in.cest rather than real ones, which is not only baffling but also incredibly ODD bc the fandom "decides" what is good and what is bad, which reeks heavily of manipulation and toxicity in my opinion. Fandoms aren't governed by a single party or a monolithic authority that decides its rules. Fandom rules are made by the community, and in every community, there should be different rules, made to ensure everyone is comfortable and feel inclusive. That is what makes fandoms special and detached from reality. Yes, you're entitled to not want to interact with certain content for reasons no one else is entitled to know unless they have your consent, but you're definitely not entitled to silence/stomp out everyone to cater to your whims or risk getting hate/harassment. Which is why I heavily encourage tagging content as-is instead of denying the nature of said content and praying that no one notices because that is the best way to make it difficult for people with different preferences and tastes to co-exist.

And ever since I changed my rules and actively followed people again, there has been a variety of content on my dash with varying tags. It's honestly very stimulating and uplifting, and if I firmly believe if a mutual were to take offense to anything I write or choose to interact with, it's on them as they clearly did not go through my rules when they followed/followed back. Additionally, I tag all my things.

A few months ago, my dash was exhausting, and boring, everyone (or most of my mutuals) was scared. Now I see posts getting tagged "necrophilia cw". I'm very happy for both my mutuals and their muses for striving for the peaks of how far fiction writing and the imaginative side of the mind can go.

I'd highly recommend anyone who has been in a similar situation to list down your dos and don'ts so your mutuals will know what to take to your tables and what to not. Personally, it felt like my dash had curated itself and it's been very pleasant to be on tum.blr lately even if I still have to vanish for a few more days due to inrl.

I think about my dash very often this week and I love all of you guys for being here and showing me your brainrots/muses! 💗💞💓

[crystal-crax]

A RANT

A TRAUMATIZED FATHER

aka: a splinter defense

I've been rewatching a bunch of different tmnt versions and a thought popped in my mind. Is splinter an analogy for depressed/traumatized parents?

Most interpretations of him make me feel that way, at least. Specially the 2003, bayverse, 2012, rise and mutant mayhem splinters- mostly because those are the versions i grew up with and are more familiar with, lol.

The way his own point of view, experiences impacts the turtles and affects their personalities and goals so...i don't know how to express it, but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth when i see people treating him as some kind of villain¿

In almost every version of Splinter, there's a catalyst for his choice to raise the turtles as ninjas and a deep fear to allow them to explore the real world. Something happens to him that makes him either disconnect emotionally (bayverse/rise), place insane responsabilities and expectations on them (2012 i'm looking straight at you), or makes him be overly protective of his sons (mayhem, 2003).

I might be speaking out of turn, but most versions of the hamato/Splinterson family feel as if a part of their dynamic is that of a partially dysfunctional one, mostly due to splint's traumas.

2003 and Bayverse saw the one that took care of him be killed without mercy, vowing to take care of the young turtles that were affected by the actions of those who altered his world.

Rise and 2012 are direct victims, being stripped away from humanity without a choice, taken from everything they knew, betrayed, so they keep clinging to the only thing that still gives them a small blink of hope and happiness, four little turtles that have been mutated just as he was (one even directly sharing his dna with the turtles).

Even mutant mayhem! Sure he wasn't directly in some accident- But even he shows high levels of anxiety and fear towards the world, prohibiting his children to interact directly with it and teaching them that humans can't be trusted at all. He has been attacked and persecuted, but what makes him break is watching his own sons (the only family and precious possesion he holds, said by himself) get hurt and rejected by humans as he once was (mikey almost got ran over my a bus y'all). He deeply CONNECTS with his sons and clearly projects his own fears and issues on them, straining the way the boys perceive themselves and their own relationships within the family.

Experts agree that trauma affects the father's/mother's parenting style, which leads the children to adopt unhealthy coping mechanisms and attitudes. The effects of intergenerational trauma can impact many parts of your life, from how you see yourself to how you communicate with others.

“Trauma can inform nearly everything about the way we exist and engage with our worlds, including the ways we parent and model behaviors for children,”

Saba Harouni Lurie, LMFT and founder of Take Root Therapy in California

Am i saying splint is abusive? NO, but i'm definately explaining that almost every version of him replicates the pressure and weight he feels, which in turn makes the own brothers perpetuate said cycle of misunderstanding and emotional confusion/neglect

Sometimes, children learn unhealthy patterns indirectly through interacting with or observing family members. For example, if your parents experienced trauma they may tend to avoid distress and conflict altogether. They may relate to each other in passive or passive-aggressive ways. They may have trouble asserting their needs constructively or directly problem-solving.

Raph's anger issues, leo's anxiety, don's temper and loneliness (which sometimes seems to trasnlate on finding comfort with his computers/machines) and mikey's high emotions and empathy.

The boys love each other, they're family, but almost in every version they seem to battle their own feelings of inadequacy. They fight, hide their thoughts and emotions, have sudden bursts of anger or panic and fail to understand how to properly express themselves (heck, the rise turtles even go so far as directly stating they've barely ever been hugged)

Yes, every splinter has failed and could've done better, but they did what they believed was better for their sons. Their only wish was to keep them safe, hide them from harm and be able to live peacefully as a family; if training their sons to be ninjas was the best thing they could think of, honestly, who am i to judge?

My conclusion? Take the family for a road trip to the nearest therapist

[ofliterarynature]

APRIL 2024 WRAP UP

[loved liked ok nope dnf (reread) bookclub*]

Death in the Spires • Heartstopper Vol 4 • Heartstopper Vol 3 • To Marry an English Lord • The True Queen • (Heartstopper Vol 2) • Fun Home* • (Arabella of Mars) • I’m Glad My Mom Died • (Sorcerer to the Crown) • And Then There Were None • Vassa in the Night • Queen of the Night • The Other Significant Others • Most Ardently • The Reformatory • The Book of Love

Read: 14 (10 audio, 4 print, 3 DNF)

The Other Significant Others (5 stars)- I've been anticipating this one ever since I first heard about it and it didn't disappoint! Not only does it tell the stories of people in close, non-traditional relationships, it also talks about marriage, raising kids, and aging, and it was all incredible. I've recommended this in the tags of so many posts and I need y'all to read it.

Queen of the Night (3 stars) - I've heard this glowingly recommended. I liked the author's story in the Sword, Stone, Table anthology. The events in the book are incredible! I should have been fascinated! But I was so bored! Part of it was that the mystery/thriller element in the description - someone has written an opera based on the main character's scandalous secret past, who could it be? - was extremely oversold, most of the book is recounting said past events, and we don't really dive into the present mystery until the very end. I've read similarly slow books so I don't know why I didn't like this, but I wish I'd dnf'd it. I'd recommend you try The God of Endings by Jacqueline Holland instead.

Vassa in the Night (4 stars) - this one surprised me! It's YA, I've heard pretty mixed reviews, and it's been sitting on my shelf for a while - starting it, the VERy in-your-face YAness almost threw me off but I'm very glad I stuck through it. I live for magic and fairy tales being dumped into modern times, and the really smart thing about this book is that it keeps a very tight focus (no space for the larger worldbuilding to fall apart lol). We've got a morally-grey magical doll companion who's a kleptomaniac and will eat you out of house and home, Baba-Yaga and her 24-hour convenience store on chicken feet, her disembodied hand assistants, weird guy on a motorcycle, and oh yeah, if they catch you stealing they'll put your head on display (and they're not above framing you to do it). Yes this is perfectly normal, why do you ask? I'm not saying it's perfect, but I had such a good time!

And Then There Were None (4 stars) - my first real attempt at Christie! I did enjoy listening to this, enough that I think I'll try some other Christie, but it wasn't entirely to my taste. I prefer having a detective figure in the story to follow, and the "reveal" after was disappointing.

Sorcerer to the Crown (3.5 stars) - this was a reread, and I definitely liked it a lot less for some reason this time? Maybe it was changing formats, but I love a historical fantasy romp and this should have been right up my alley! The True Queen (4 stars) was much more enjoyable, so maybe it was the characters, maybe it was the rereading itself. I think this might be my sign to call it quits with Zen Cho.

I'm Glad My Mom Died (4 stars) - this isn't really one I think I'd have ever picked for myself even though it got popular, except that my book-club friend recommended it. I'm finding that I'm not really one for memoirs, but despite the heartbreaking contents this was very easy to read - largely chronological with short chapters, and the author is clearly aware that things were bad even when her younger self did not. I accidentally started this when I was also reading Fun Home, so that was a lot of bad-parent-memoir at the same time, oops.

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic (4 stars) - I've been eying this one for a while and am glad to have gotten it on the list for book club! Deeply fascinating, if not always an easy read - the subject on one hand, but the density of the pages, the differences between the comic panels and the narration outside them, and the jumping through time that memoirs do sometimes made events hard to follow. I admit my favorite parts were seeing the different queer books Bechdel slipped into her illustrations (one that I'm reading right now even!).

Arabella of Mars (4.5 stars) - Y'all, we are sleeping on this book, I had so much fun! Here's to girls dressing as boys, sailing ships, steampunk space travel, and vibes straight from early sci-fi adventure novels. I can't believe I forgot about this and am just glad I picked up a copy at the library sale to make myself reread it. I do apologize for thinking this was YA (which it isn't), but further thoughts on that and the rest of the series will have to wait for next month.

Heartstopper Vol 2-4 (5/5/4 stars) - finally! I read part of the comic online ages ago, and read Vol 1 for book club the other month, but I finally got started on the rest of the series. I had definitely read through Vol 2 previously, but everything else was new to me. I had a good time, but Vol 4 was a bit of a(n expected!) downer, and the time jump in the middle ruined the flow a bit for me. I do have Vol 5 in my hands currently, and if I didn't have so many other things to do I'd be tempted to do a big Alice Oseman re/read.

To Marry an English Lord (4 stars) - I encountered this at not one, but TWO unrelated book sales before I caved and bought it. I enjoyed it! It's mostly a sort of overview/reference covering the period around the Gilded Age - the New York upper crust, the European Aristocracy, and the various societal events that lead to a pattern of marital exchange. Did I skim the bits where it just listed name after name after name? Yes, but! Highly recommend to anyone reading romances or general fiction set in the period, I really wish I'd read this before trying The Age of Innocence! (its also very funny how occasionally it makes references that make it very obvious it was written in the 80's lol). Pairs incredibly well with another book I bought at the same sale, The Divorce Colony by April White.

Death in the Spires (3.5 stars) - I love KJ Charles, but I've often felt that her plots and romances can sometimes be at odds - so I was very excited when she said she'd written a mystery! But I'm lukewarm about it at best. The campus novel portions were fascinating, and I'd have loved more of them. But Jem as our narrator just wasn't engaging for most of the book. I wouldn't say it's his fault necessarily, but he's not really a good detective, there are either no clues or they're just going in circles, and the promised attempts on his life just aren't happening. Once we hit the 2/3 mark, where we're on campus, have more characters together, and they're talking - that's when things got good! Maybe this will be be better on a reread, but for now my hopes are for some good fanfic. Would recommend more to the dark academia people rather than mystery fans.

DNF

Most Ardently (20%) - the vibes were very much, "here's my blorbos, I'm putting them in a Pride and Prejudice AU." Which is great, if that's what you want! It was not what I wanted alas. Biggest cons, the de-ageing of the characters and the generally modern YA/queerness. Pros, they did keep all of the other Bennet sisters! I was so tempted to keep reading just to see how Oliver and Darcy got together, but I knew I wasn't going to enjoy myself. Would have loved to see this presented as an original work rather than an adaptation, or as something hewing closer to the original tone and period of the novel.

The Reformatory (43%) - this was good, really! It's just that I'm only so-so on horror on my best days, and both story lines were sad and dark and depressing. I could have probably handled one or the other, but I wasn't really having a good time (that's not the right phrasing exactly, but you know what I mean). I had other things I wanted to read and it was a long book.

The Book of Love (6%) - I've heard multiple people sing the praises of Kelly Link, so while I wasn't really drawn by the description, I thought I'd give it a shot! I did, and it still didn't draw me in. Maybe I'll give it a try again someday, but I think I'll try her short fiction first.

[boxwinebaddie]

Have the CD guys ever read fanfic about themselves?

OH MY GODDSKLHDHLS

YES!!! yES, THEY HAVE!!!

THEY'VE READ TOO MUCH, TBH.

no, because back in the good ole days when the boys were still The Boys and darling scotty had not made his evil fuckboy transformation into Thot, they did a very silly segment on MTV that was sponsored by red bull, who, in my fake ncuniverse, collabed with grey goose,

and released these very crazy 4loko-esqe red/gray alcoholic energy drinks that the CD boys were taste-testing ( yes, they were Gone ) while they dramatically read and re-enacted the most vile, viral sex scenes written about them in aO3 fanfictions. it was...So Good.

( boxwinebaddie DEF made the cut, jsyk. xx )

but anyways, for con-sext, The Boys took turns reading...

kenny carried the whole thing on their back tbh ( all while wearing the skeleken facemask, might i add, which required them to suck their drink through a swirly straw...a lot of sucking jokes were made...smh )

scott, i think, had to pause every five seconds to laugh and when he wasn't, his med-student brain was looking too far into the logistics of all the sex positions and the motivations behind them...love him.

jimmy's performance was phenomenal, obviously, ( comedic legend ) but all the stuttering and slurring required subtitles, i fear. whaaack.

but, uh...speaking of Reading...and being Whack.

i just want to start out by saying...

Ravenstan...I Love You.

God Bless You, Baby.

you really....tried your Very Best.

however...

...that man CANNOT read.

HEEEELPSSK

OOOOOOOOOF. IT WAS /SO/ FUNNY, YOU GUYS.

i need a ten minute super-cut of raven of crimson dawn trying to read because it is SOOOO Unserious. his dyslexia is soooo bad. RIP </3

however, i must say that i admire the confidence in which he very loudly and proudly read out words, smiled very cutely at the camera,

and pRONOUNCED THEM DEAD FUCKING WRONG.

it was god tier comedy, i am not even joking, the boys regularly skipped turns so stan had to read more often...it was that funny, fml.

he would try to read something, sound it out, squint, tilt his head to the right like a small, confused dog and go:

"'his...Personal dick?' but that...doesn't even make SENSE??? pero like, Clearly it's Jimmy's Personal Dick and not someone elses?? so i don't know why xXdrummers-bang-harder-69Xx even Wrote that." :/

please note: scott and jimmy LITERALLY ABOUT TO START CRYING whilst kenny takes a v large slurp of their drink, also trying v hard not to cry like "rae, baby, i'm gonna hold your hand while i say this..."

*literally holds stan's hand.*

"it's not Personally...

...it's *Pulsating*.

'His /PULSATING/ Dick.'"

which i think they figured would’ve cleared that up, but, not enough, i guess bc ravenstan, squinting Again, said

"the stuff.....in orange juice?"

HEEEEELPPPPPP

NOOOOO SKLHSDSKD bABY THAT IS /PULP/.

ft. jimmy shouting "AYOOOOOO! can we get some fanfictions with smaller w-w-words in them? because raven can't r-r-read."

BRUUUUUUUUUUUUTAL!!! BOOOO!!! LAME!!! CORNY!!!

Justice For My Sexy Dyslexy KING!!!! >:O

listen!!! he is Very Nice and Very Pretty, therefore, he does not NEED to know how to Read, okay?!!! he has Other People to read for him, namely, his super smart mega fine Law Student Boyfriend who rEADS TO HIM EVERY NIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! he Won!!!

he did also say 'okay, FUCK YOU GUYS!' and scott legitimately waved the list and (th)said "i think you actually do that in thith next one."

WHICH????? the only thing funnier than stan trying to read on camera, is when they have to read any fic where ravenstan whips out...

…hIS THICK MASSIVE TEN INCH SCHLONG.

when i tell you they were SCREAMING!!!! ohMyGOD.

that was sO FKN FUNNY to them, they were like OH MY GOD, RAVEN PUT THAT THING AWAAAAAAAY!!! ITS TOO LARGE WERE SCARED SKDJSLD dead, actually sooo dead...like their audience did not understand the context of that, but it was SOOOO unserious.

i swear the cd boys fave inside joke is to make an insane amount of out of pocket raven dick jokes in interviews, like i shit you not, they’re like "hi, sorry we're late! raven turned around too fast coming out of the shower, accidentally slapped us in the face with his HUGE DICK and knocked us out cold." SKHDD it happens so often ppl are literally Frothing At The Mouth trying to SEE IT.

smmHHHH.

like, besties...

I'm Gonna Hold Your Hand While I Say This.

HKDSKDSKDKHSDhLKSHDLDSK

Live, Laugh, Love My Boys. <3

-uncle nina, proud mother of four

( or, uh, Three ig )

[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Rewatch Ep 1 Stray Thoughts

This rewatch is sponsored by @lurkingshan. Shan has the rare honor of being the only straight white person to respect my tastes in the last 15 years and successfully convince me to watch two things that I went on to enjoy immensely. She convinced me to try Coffee Prince when I was willing to engage with kdrama and pushed me over the episode 10 slump. She also convinced me to watch the Pornographer series again, which I found essential. I've given her coupons to use to recommend things to me, and she's chosen to make me reengage with Theory of Love.

I didn't walk away from this show feeling great about it or myself in 2019. I identified with Third a lot, and also hated their entire friend group. I also thought Earth and White went to waste in BL again (I watched Water Boyy the series). So we're going into this on shaky ground. I kindly ask that you not argue with me in my notes about why you love this show.

Let's get started.

Right away I am reminded that I am not immune to Gun Atthaphan mooning over classic romance films that his character has protected way too much into.

Khai choosing to not mess around with folks in his faculty is a pretty good boundary for a player.

So, it's not Khai's fault that Third fell in love with him. Still, I understand the stress and angst of crushing on a straight boy who loves you platonically. Coming out is not easy, especially when you're one of the boys.

Okay, Third pouring a bottle of water over his head to be dramatic is too much. He is unwell.

Gun having second billing on this show is homophobic.

Ep 01: Best Friends

I wonder if Gun wants to produce and direct.

That line about having hundreds of girls if not for Khai feels kinda funny. Like are you gay, sir?

Goddamn this GETSUNOVA song still fucking slaps.

I forgot how this seaweed snack kept the lights on through Bad Buddy.

12,000 baht to see Blackpink? Couldn't be me.

I don't feel bad for Third about these tickets. He said no to getting them, so Khai isn't a dick for getting them from a scalper.

This is extremely tacky of Khai to start shit at someone's screening like this.

They curb stomped Khai for that behavior. You love to see an instant comeuppance.

Okay, but sending Third to reject Milk is clearly his specialty.

I wanted to know what they said about the Toy Story trilogy, especially since Khai did a Vulcan salute.

Third has a Winnie the Pooh, Astro Boy, and Chucky doll in his room. I have questions.

Khai ditching Third on a lie isn't cool and also feels unnecessary since he canceled on Third for a girl earlier. Is it because it was Milk?

Okay, but Khai is also right that he didn't tell Third to throw her shit away.

Ah, Two finds him at the end of the episode to try and keep Third invested.

This show is very different for me in 2023, because now that I'm older I'm doing what I can. I'm not trapped in a spiral frustrated and pining after a guy I struggled to get over. My living situation is also different. There's also so much more BL better suited to my tastes. Me reading Gun a certain way doesn't cover for Third the way it did in 2019, so his bisexual angst about the girls he hasn't scored because of Khai doesn't track as sympathetic this time. I'm also struggling to see what holds Third to Khai. He's just like most dudes I know. Sometimes he's a good bro and recognizes your efforts when you do something he asked for, but they never notice what you do that they didn't ask for.

It'll be interesting continuing this watch, because I've never been an OffGun girlie, and now that I've projected my gay angst into other projects I feel less connected to Third. Now I'm just frustrated for him and also a little irritated.

[necroromantics]

Properly addressing the drama

For the millionth time (The tone on this entire post is lighthearted and not mad)

I'm gonna start this off by saying that I have made multiple posts apologizing for my past actions, and acknowledging the harm I have caused in the past. I have apologized sorta- directly to Void (my friend sent my apology to them cuz Void didnt want me to contact them which I respected). I know I bring up my ASPD a lot, but please try to understand that personality disorders are dysfunctional behaviours ingrained into someones way of thinking/acting. I never want to excuse my bad behaviour, which is why I am fully open to hearing the others side. I do fully acknowledge that the jokes I made a year ago were in very bad taste now. At the time, I was very deep into drug addiction, in communities that encouraged my bad behaviour, and I grew up with people who held very discriminatory beliefs. This is my explanation for why I made those jokes. I'm trying to explain how my brain works, because it very clearly doesn't work how "normal people"'s brains do, which is why I was diagnosed in the first place. I understand my behaviour was harmful and incorrect, I take full accountability for what I have done, and I am slowly learning how to combat these habits and mindsets that I have grown up with. Its just very hard to do so when these things are heavily ingrained into me, and Im constantly bombarded with drama and being dehumanized and treated like a problem rather than a person. This is the ableism I have faced my entire life, and it follows here too.

I have mental disabilities of my own (very severe ADHD), I have been bullied a lot growing up for it, and also why I actively reclaim the R slur. But I grew up around people who would make fun of me, and people like me, and the way my brain works is that I'm not able to empathize or feel bad for people struggling with things like disabilities or whatnot. At the time, I didn't acknowledge that it was wrong, because to me that was normal and ok. I know now that it's not, and I'm in a place where (for the most part) I am able to try and consider right/wrong.

I do apologize if my tone in my posts or anything has come off as hostile or aggressive. I have a bad habit of that because of my hyperactivity where I speak faster and louder than I can control, which reflects into my tone in text. I have said numerous times that I'm not interested in fighting with minors. My intention was never to cause drama, but to defend my name against people making posts on me, which I have every right to do after they have spent 5 months straight constantly stalking and harassing me.

I do understand that they are all minors. In the past, they got mad at me for not wanting to interact with them due to their age. So it doesn't make sense that they're pulling the age card now. I swear from the bottom of my heart that I am not interested in any of this drama. Ive said it before, but I dont expect forgiveness or people to like me. All I want is to be left alone, and given space to continue my recovery for my mental health issues.

The reason why I bring up their ableism towards me isn't because I want to play victim, or to turn away from what I have done, or use it as an excuse. I take full accountability for what I have done, and talking about my ASPD is my way of explaining why I may think, talk, or act in certain ways. I have been very open about my ASPD from the beginning of this account, and on Discord. My issue is the fact I am being harassed, and have been for nearly half a year now even though I have long cut contact and blocked all of them, because I have "no morality", and I lack empathy. I think that is entirely dehumanizing and stimatizing towards people, not just me, who suffer from these things. If I am expected to take accountability for my ableism, which I have been, then I expect the same from these people as well.

I have screenshots where these people have talked about "cancelling" me on Tumblr way back in January. I have screenshots of death threats, and inappropriate things they have said about me. I understand they are all minors, but my ASPD doesn't excuse my bad behaviour, and their age doesn't excuse theirs.

This was never about caring about those effected by the jokes I made. These people have a long history of trying to cause drama for the sake of drama, and they have tried to do it with another big creator who I wont name. Also my DMs are open if anyone has any concerns, or wants to communicate about this maturely, I've always wished them well and hoped they would find peace and happiness in their lives as I have been trying in mine. Constant thriving off of drama is not good for anyone. Ive stated in the past Im not interested in that. I would like to move on from things that happened half a year to a year ago.

I have already been contacted by those who were involved in the January drama to get on better terms, which I very much appreciate.

I do not have the time or energy to cause unnecessary beef with random kids online. I have kept entirely to myself about this until they made a very public "call out post" about me where I do appreciate them showing me what I still needed to acknowledge and own up to in my past, but they cropped screenshots, not shown context, twisted stories, and have lied about me publicly on other things. My posts have only been about clearing my name and sharing my side. My only concern is telling my side. Anyone else would do the same with the things they have been saying.

I wish them all well wholeheartedly, and I want to make it clear I'm not mad, though I will admit I was for a bit there which is understandable when I have reached a tipping point after 5 months or so of non-stop harassment that I have tried my best to ignore.

I never cared to take any of this too seriously because it's the internet, and I know more than anyone who I am, what I believe, and how hard I'm working. No one else can speak on that, because none of you know me, really. But I have seen how they have insulted people who have nothing to do with the drama, calling someone a 'freak', flooding someones comments on a completely unrelated video, harassing random people in their DMs simply for being in my server. Many people of these are minors. I'm not going to let them do that to random, innocent people. That is entirely unfair how I am not allowed to say a slur I can reclaim, but they are allowed to go out of their way to bully innocent people who have nothing to do with me.

Thats where my issue lies. Thats what makes me upset. I'm a grown man, I have a life, I can defend myself and speak on my own issues. I've said many many times I don't want anyone to involve themselves in the drama, because honestly I think its a waste of time. If they truly cared about what they say they do, they would reach out to me, and we can talk maturely about it as I have done with some people previously associated with them.

I'm not asking for forgiveness, or for people to defend me, or take my side, or anything. All I am asking is that you stop stalking and harassing me, let me live my life in peace as Ive been trying to do, and please leave people alone who have nothing to do with this situation, and that includes my friends. I'm sure none of us want this to continue. Thank you.

(Also, I wanted to add onto the ASPD aspect of this cuz Ive been bringing it up a lot and I wanted to make it clear why. The way my brain works due to my mental health conditions is that I don't have the same emotional responses to words and others problems as most people do. Theres many studies on this, you can read up on it. When I hear certain topics, or words, or phrases, I'm unable to respond with the appropriate emotions and in all honesty it rarely ever bothers me, because I'm unable to empathize with those effected for the most part. I have a very strict moral code, but it's not the same as most people have due to this. I am learning how to combat this, because it causes issues like this. To me, saying hateful things is not the same as believing or doing it. Which I fully understand isn't the way most people see it, and I'm taking steps to unlearn this view. Of course my behaviour and views are going to be socially unacceptable, that is the entire premise of the disorder. Pleaaaase understand that when you berate and dehumanize me for that, youre berating and dehumanizing people with ASPD in general. There are many many other people out there who deal with the same things I do. What also bothered me was the obvious fakeclaiming in the comments of the post, when I have always been open about my diagnosis. I was diagnosed when I turned 18 in a forensic setting and my father has it as well. I have talked countless times about it. Thank you for all who understand.)