#but that would just be A.S.S.

[jess-themess05]

Idea 16: Vanessa knows how to sew

You know, at this point my nickname should be Afton. Cause I always come back!

 

… 

*cough*

 uh moving swiftly on

 

This new idea/concept is probably my longest yet, I couldn't help but do my usual thing of trying to explain everything. I will also say that this one might not be “as good” as my other ideas so be warned. With that out of the way, grab yourself a snack/drink and strap in!

Once again, we must set the scene. Life has returned to normal for our faz fam, or at least as normal as it can be for a family consisting of mostly robots. Silver Parasol was able to find an abandoned restaurant and purchase it to give the bots a place to live. It took a bit to get used to its smaller area ( It is about the size of your average chucky cheese) but animatronics have acclimated well. The restaurant still has a lot of the same activities as the pizza plex once did, they are just a lot smaller. In some cases, such as with Monty's golf course and Roxy’s raceway, they’ve been replaced with miniature versions like mini golf and RC car racing respectively. There are a few new activities as well though such as “Chica’s cooking class'' and “Painting with Sun and Moon”. Roxy and Monty also hold “weekly challenges” and I will let you figure out what that means. (Some of you came up with some really clever ideas the last time I did this :) )

 

As for our human friends, they are doing quite well! Gregory has been doing well at school and has gotten his own little group of friends. He has developed a reputation at the school for being the kind of kid who causes trouble. Not anything bad of course, he still gets amazing grades but has from time to time crested harmless pranks that everyone finds quite amusing. Vanessa has being doing good as well. She got a promotion at work due to how high quality her work has been and she has gone on several more successful dates with Luis and are "officially" a couple. (Everyone is happy for her, though Gregory still takes some slight joy at how flustered Vanessa gets whenever he asks about their dates. Once a gremlin always a gremlin)

 

Now, something that is important to mention is how Vanessa has been dealing with the memories of being under mind control. It isn’t just her memories; these also include all of Vanny’s memories. (While under mind control Vanessa didn’t see everything that Vanny saw or did. Vanny would only have her be aware of what was going on when SHE wanted Vanessa to see something, which normally meant murders ). Allow me to attempt and explain.

(if you don’t want to read all this, scroll until you see the asterisk*) 

When Vanessa was first freed she tried to just not think about her memories of that time and tried to live in the present. This proved to be a bad idea since the events of idea 10 kept happening. What I mean by this is that Vanessa would see something in the present that felt vaguely familiar, such as a child alone in the pizzaplex, and it would trigger one of Vanny’s memories. From there, Vanessa would be forced to watch the memory play out, which usually consisted of a child being murdered. Then she would come out of the memory in the midst of a panic attack. After a few months of this, she realized that this wasn’t the way to go about this. So, after the events of idea 12, she decides to try dealing with these bad memories in a different way. Her new method is to, just, think about them. Get used to the fact that they exist so she doesn't get overwhelmed by them when she sees something familiar. They are still bad, and she will never not feel guilty about the actions that take place in them, but it does help reduce the amount of pain that they cause to a point that she can live with them.

 

Through this methodic remembering Vanessa discovers that she also has access to Vanny’s memories that, other than having very bad implications, aren't really that bad. One of these series of memories is of Vanny creating that suit she wore  (btw it has long since been burned, it was one of the first things that the Faz fam did together after “that night”) As such one of the skills Vanessa now has is sewing. She had known Vanny could sow for a while now, she had found a sewing kit in her room after she was freed and easily figured out the connection. Up until now though Vanessa herself hadn't attempted to use it since she didn't remember how to. Even though she now knows how to sew, she hasn’t used this skill for 2 main reasons. Firstly, it reminds her of Vanny, though this reasoning has been getting a lot less strong as time goes on; and secondly, she hasn’t had much of a reason to use this skill at all… until now.

 

*TLDR Vanessa basically got Acquired Savant Syndrome , without the necessary physical head trauma.

 

The situation arises on a normal day while Gregory was at school hanging out with his friends. They decide to challenge him to a contest during recess, who can climb a tree to a certain branch the fastest. Gregory, being… well Gregory, immediately accepts (it would seem Roxy and Monty have been rubbing off on him) and is off to the tallest tree in the yard before they even decide on a prize. He climbs the tree and reaches the lowest main branch in around 15 seconds, much to the amazement of the children in the yard. 

 

However, in their collective excitement, the children failed to notice that the branch  Gregory is standing on has rotten and died. So after a few seconds, it breaks under the load  and Gregory begins falling to the ground. Thankfully his shirt manages to catch one of the smaller branches, slowing his fall but ripping his shirt in the process. He lands on the ground and, aside from some small cuts and bruises, is completely fine. The same cannot be said for his shirt though, the branch has made a tear from the bottom to the arm sleeve.

 

It should be stated that this particular shirt means a lot to him, it is one of the last possessions that he has from his old life, the one where his mother was still alive. The reason he knows this goes back several months, back to just a few days after “that night.” One of the first things that Vanessa and Gregory had done together was try and find his old house. They had done this to see if anything was still there and, if there was, take it back to Vanessa’s apartment so that Gregory would feel more “at home”.  

 

The 2 of them had found that the house had been claimed by the city since the owner, Gregory’s mother, had been found dead and she had had no living adult relatives. All of the possessions that were inside the house had been sold or given to charity in accordance with Utah state law . In a nutshell, all Gregory has from his old life are memories and the clothes he was wearing. It might seem kind of silly to a stranger, but the Faz fam knows how important it is to him. Besides, people tend to form emotional attachment to inanimate objects in real life (especially after traumatic events), so I think this might be plausible.

 

 Anyways, after picking himself off of the ground and reassuring the others that he is all fine, Gregory looks down at his special shirt and realizes that it is ruined and he thinks that Vanessa will likely have to throw it away. He really doesn’t want this to happen due to how much the shirt means to him, so he decides to try and repair it. After recess ends he grabs some duct tape, goes into a bathroom and tapes up the shirt. He hopes that the temporary repair will fool Vanessa long enough for him to try and find a more permanent fix for his shirt.

 

Vanessa isn’t home yet as she had to work late that day. (The company is planning on pushing out a new DLC that is based on the new restaurant the PizzaPlex animatronics now occupy as a way to advertise the place. So everyone is working a bit harder to get the update ready for release.) Gregory is about to take advantage of this and toss his ruined shirt into his room and put on a new one when he notices Freddy watching him, in his plush form. Freddy asks what he is doing, which means that Gregory has to explain the situation to him. He is just finishing up his explanation when he hears the door unlock, Vanessa has already returned from work. 

 

She enters and is in the middle of asking how his day was when she turns to look at him. She stops speaking, seeing him covered in scrapes and bruises and wearing a torn shirt. Vanessa, trying to remain calm and not get TOO worried, asks what happened to him. Before Gregory can even attempt to craft a response that downplays what actually happened, Freddy answers with “Gregory fell from a tree!” in a tone of voice that sounds like he is discussing the weather.

 

For several seconds nothing happens, then Vanessa fully processes what Freddy has just told her and launches into “doting parent” mode. She kneels down to Gregory and starts checking him over whilst asking him multiple questions about his well being. Gregory manages to calm Vanessa down after reassuring her that he is fine. Now a lot calmer, Vanessa notices that his shirt is ripped and the duct tape on it, prompting her to ask him what he planned to do with it. Gregory defeatedly tells her that he was going to try and fix it.

 

Vanessa remains silent, thinking. She knows how much this shirt means to him, and doesn’t want to get rid of it or have it not be wearable anymore. She wonders if she might be able to fix it herself, and then remembers that sewing kit and the memories of Vanny making the suit. Vanessa realizes that she might be able to solve this problem. So she asks Gregory if she can try and sew up the shirt for him. Gregory, who was expecting Vanessa to tell him to throw it away, is caught a bit off guard before saying yes.

 

So Vanessa takes the shirt to her room, opens the sewing kit and grabs some blue thread. She hesitates before picking up the actual needle, some of that old fear still lingering despite it being over 7 months since “that night”. Vanessa takes a deep breath and starts fixing the shirt. To her surprise she finds it to be quite easy, like riding a bike after a long break. Within an hour (idk how long this would really take lol) she has already patched up the tear and the shirt looks good as new.

 

She goes over to Gregory’s room and finds him having a conversation with Freddy about discretion “You can’t just bluntly tell people that someone fell out of a tree! You have to give them some sort of warning!” Vanessa gets their attention and shows them the patched shirt. Gregory takes his shirt, looks it over and places it on the bed. He then gives Vanessa a big ol hug while graciously thanking her for fixing it. She tells him that it was no problem, and then asks him how he even climbed the tree in the first place. 

 

That is where I will leave it, I hope you enjoyed this long boi. Again, I admit that this might not be as good as my other ideas, but I really just felt the need to write this one as it has been on my mind for a long time now.

-except with afton people don’t dread your existence!! and also you’re not a lame killer furry :)

i

i don’t think anyway

hi hi :D welcome back!! it is certainly a very long boi and i love it. some more backstory and the present events!!!

ok first thing, i had no idea acquired savant syndrome was a thing. w h a t. you’re sending me cool ideas and making me learn at the same time??? you sneaky mother fucker >:0 that’s so COOL

yknow, vanny being knowledgeable on sewing makes a lot of sense! for one, her actual costume has comically large stitches most likely for fashion purposes, but also... i can’t imagine killing rambunctious children is gonna make for an easy job. most likely ending up with resistance, futile resistance but still a struggle i assume! so repairing said costume is gonna come in handy, bonus points cause it’ll just make more cool patterns on your furry suit! yippee!!

also i really like the idea of vanessa just needing to face her problems head on sometimes, never really good to bottle it up and ignore it huh? with her situation constantly avoiding triggering situations (ex. needing to help a lost child, using a knife, you get the point) once you are unable to avoid the situation it will be much more stressful, so dealing with these in a more controlled environment, and not when you are freaking out, can certainly help!

again i have to point out i just. love how you provide resources for certain things, like here you linked an article about acquired savant syndrome, and also a form about utah state law?? once again, dedication.

i think this prompt is super sweet :] the only thing gregory has of his past life is the literal shirt on his back, and finds comfort in the familiarity of it, so when it rips it’s especially heart breaking. also i still love the idea of freddy basically becoming a fred bear plush that’s- that’s amazing i love it. just this stupid little plush with the deep voice of mister freddy fazbear himself

anyways. vanessa going full doting parents mode is fantastic and i dearly hope to see more of that, especially if freddy is going to be so apathetic about when gregory is harmed in anyway. “Hello Vanessa! How are you? Gregory is in a neck brace and his kneecaps are shattered :)” THATS NOT HOW YOU TELL SOMEONE BAD NEWS. YOU ARE MADE OF ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. THOUGH NOT ENOUGH INTELLIGENCE APPARENTLY. he’s so stupid love that for him.

i’m getting distracted, despite vanessa’s hesitation she still offers to fix his shirt due to his sentimentality with it, like the girl boss she is, especially since she’s dealing with *having to act similarly to your alternative stabby personality* but also dealing with a sharp object, sure it’s not a knife but i could still imagine that being triggering! very proud of her for facing her fears once again, you go bestie, and she gets a hug and a positive reaction from gregory :D that’s a win in my book (maybe going through the traumatic event in the first place and having to heal over said trauma isn’t good but yknow we’re looking at the positives)

thank you once again for sending your thoughts this way!! i look forward to hearing from you again :]

[amethystfairy1]

omg, I am half way through speed running ttsbc, and this concept of "The Humans" group chat has just popped into my head and I really wanted to share it

The Hoomans

Members: Gatekeeper, WarriorPrincess, MeanGil101, Elven_Kiss, A.S.S, got_an_IDEA

Elven_Kiss: @MeanGil101 WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ONLY HAD ONE COURTING RITUAL!?

Elven_Kiss: I had FIVE!

Elven_Kiss: F I V E

Gatekeeper: it's not like they were mandatory

MeanGil101: courting what now?

Elven_Kiss:

Gatekeeper: i think you're overreacting

Elven_Kiss: You're UNDER-REACTING

A.S.S: Anyone got an update on the wait at the main rail cart hub? I'm about to walk to the station.

Elven_Kiss: DON'T IGNORE MEEEEE

WarriorPrincess: It's pretty light right now! I'd try to get there before the lunch rush though!

A.S.S: Thank you! 😘

Gatekeeper: also @Elven_Kiss didn't you do all the rituals on accident?

Elven_Kiss: ...you have no proof

Gatekeeper: our boyfriends are cousins

MeanGil101: Is ANYONE going to explain to me what you're talking about?

A.S.S: don't question it not worth it 😛

MeanGil101: and how do YOU know!?

A.S.S: Call it a researchers intuition 😉

WarriorPrincess: You want me to meet you at the station @A.S.S? I'm gonna be headed by, I'm meeting Shelby at Joel and Lizzies.

A.S.S: That would be LOVELY 💖💖💖

Elven_Kiss: Someone complain with meeeeee

MeanGils101: dating an avian sounds like it's for the birds, huh?

Gatekeeper: speak for yourself furry

MeanGils101: wifwehgoiqrfjewoifhwqirfhqiufiqofghqpioufqpuihhri

...

Obviously this was 100% for fun and none of this is canon to TTSBC, half of them don't even know each other, but this gave me the giggles the entire time I was writing it so it's here anyway! 😆

[jasperthejester]

you know what i feel like we as a saf fandom are completely forgetting about?

that time travel canonically exists in the saf universe

chimera shows up in wayward guide for the untrained eye as the main company of miner mole, as well as, in the 7th episode, the comic book hero detective dark. this connects flop stoppers as well to the universe. where have a time machine. and go back in time

now, granted, flop stoppers takes place decades after the events of spies are forever, and probably after the death of agent curt mega, considering chimeras still going strong, but still

also, considering a movie studio has access to the time machine, either 1) time travel has been around for a little while, enough for the government to allow certain restrictions but still available (not to the general public, but is still available, 2) the machine was made by a nongovernment job and is sold on the black market or by word of mouth (ie, chimera made it and sold it out to people), or 3) the movie studio just had a scientific branch that worked one time travel

either way time travel would still very rare, expensive, and unknown, but flop stoppers would not the only example of it being used

i personally lean towards number 2 as an explanation, and either chimera or some other group worked to make it

and here, i wonder if barb had any part in it

we know that charlie (guy who worked on the bomb curt threw) ended up working for some rich guy (solve it squad back in biz), so its not that far-fetched to believe barb left a.s.s to work for some other place

maybe after the events of saf, and maybe after curts death, she left, changing her passions from creating a surveillance system to time travel. maybe she felt she could change things if she could go back time, maybe she felt she could make it all right

idk i just think its a really fun idea that should be played with more

[musette22]

https://www.tumblr.com/yesterdaysprint/186366413059/the-wichita-beacon-kansas-august-9-1918

Just a reminder that Steve and Bucky most definitely *do* know slangs like this, and it just cracks me up. Because they probably use it in real conversations like they did back then (assuming they did at all, but let's go with that), like imagine Steve asking Nat and Bucky over his comms during a mission "When did Sam get involved with the civilians?", and then Bucky out of old habit spells out "IDK" and then Nat's like "?????" Like guys I know we told you to catch up with the modern world and all that but let's never use the internet slangs on our missions ever again?

And now Steve and Bucky are confused, Steve going "What are you talking about, Nat?" "Oh, that? You guys still use it??? We used it all the time back in the day. And now it's an internet thing.. Huh. You hear this Buck?"

And Bucky's probably just like okay yeah I get it, now focus on the target.

Ok I love this 😂 The fact that Steve and Bucky would be familiar with slang like this but also the whole Avengers mission-scenario lmao.

And now I'm imagining them trolling the team by making up all these complicated and/or slightly rude acronyms (A.S.S. which stands for Assisted Sniper Shot, and S.U.C.K. which of course stands for Severe Underuse of Creative Knifeskills, and B.L.O.W. for Basic Lockdown Of Whippoorwills etc.) and insisting that it's all legit army slang from back in their day. Literally no one believes them but also no one can actually prove it isn't true (Bucky @ Tony: "Are you calling Captain America a liar, son?" Tony: *blows a fuse*)

[krobus-void-monster]

A life well lived part 2 ( the A.S.S gang)

The Stardew Valley bachelor/ bachelorette growing old with the farmer headcanon like an entire generation has passed and there kids have grown up and work on the farm as well as have kids of their own

I have no clue who to do next feedback is is highly recommended.

abigail : she is now In charge of the adventurer's guiled guidening and saving the new generation of adventures. she also know a little bit of magic from her time as the wizards apprentice and yes she still eats rocks . when she does pass away she will do so in a blaze of glory in the mines she would want to be buried near the mines so she can watch over the mines even in death

sam : he still plays the guitar for fun or when his children/grandchildren ask him to . he still has his amazing hair cut even though it has gone completely grey . Vincent who is now almost 40 years old often visits Sam at the farm . He spends most of his time relaxing with the farmer making music / singing to them . Sam and the farmer will pass away in there sleep while embracing each other at around the same time .

Sebastian : he retired from coding but is still a goth and spends most of his time eather with the farmer or looking for frogs with his grand kids . he patched up his relationship with his step dad Demetriuse and now refers to him as just "Dad" . when he does pass away he will be cremated and his ashes will be spred around around the lake near his old home.

Part 1

[yusakiiiii]

New group nicknames!!!

I’m making a little fanfic when the Hermits (bar Xisuma for reasons) end up in the Life Series. I’ve tried to make new groups mostly to test out new dynamics and I’ve tried to give those groups names either made by other members or what fans would call them. Here you go:

Iskall, Stress and Etho — The Vaulters — Because having Iskall and Stress taught Etho Vault Hunters before, Etho is now teaching Iskall and Stress the Life Series.

Zed and Tango — A.S.S — Because the gimmick of the season they’re in in the fanfic is that each member has a power given to them, which is easier to do in a fanfic than in actual Minecraft. And I of course gave Zedaph the ability to make sheep levitate. Tango is along for the ride, trying to land in rivers after he hits build height on Flossy the third.

Beef and Skizz — Big Salmon — Because they moved over from Hermitcraft in the fanfic, they’re keeping the rivalries from the server and Beef wants to use the chance of a Life Series to mess with Doc.

Jevin and Gem — Slimestone — This name was coined by Skizz. He calls Gem, Gemstone. With that it’s just a simple portmanteau.

BDubs and Joel — BDubs and the Beanstalk — Joel’s power is that he’s 11ft tall. This name was also coined by Skizz and subsequently adopted by fans.

Ren, False, Hypno and Grian — Hearts, Arts, Smarts and… Farts. Or “HAS Farts” for short — Coined by Skizz, Ren said they were a pretty ragtag group and Skizz said, “You’ve got Heart” looking at Ren, “Martial Arts” looking at False, “Smarts” looking at Hypno, “and… Farts.” looking at Grian. Fans took that moment at they became “HAS Farts”.

Wels, Joe and Cleo — Soldier, Poet, King — The fans made this one up entirely. Joe and Cleo understand the reference and Wels is a bit confused by it.

XB, Keralis, Scar and Impulse — The Farmers — Definitely my least imaginative name, but three of them have powers related to farming in some way and Impulse is a Farmer type hermit in the HCTCG.

Doc and Mumbo — Shrek and Fiona — Doc just wants to work in his swamp and Mumbo goes to live with him. They get into nitty gritty Redstone together whilst trying to ignore Beef and Skizz.

Pearl and Cub — The Powvestigators — They go around trying to help people who haven’t figured out their powers yet, figure out what powers they have. Investigating powers, thus, Powvestigators. In doing so they also try to find out people’s weaknesses for their own gain under the guise of trying to help.

What do you think of these groupings and team names? Do you have any better suggestions? I’m all ears, the only one I will not budge on is HAS Farts. That group name is comedy gold.

[the-rat-child]

ok so we know all the abigail and haley animations to Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan

so it got me thinkingggggg

Stardew Valley Bachelor(ettes) and their Chappell Roan Song

(+ animation ideas and/or why)

(according to me)

Bachelors:

Alex: HOT TO GO! He is hot to go and just picture him in that outfit from the single cover he would pick up a diner job after realizing gridball isn't gonna work

Elliott: Picture You It's not rocket science to think he'd be a romantic that can't say jackshit He'd be absolutely enamored with the farmer but not be able to express anything

Harvey:

Coffee He would be the type to be stuck in a fwb situation despite being in love with someone also the jazz bar line and the fact that it's about coffee and wine (bonus: when he has his headphones on it's just Stuck In Manhattan on loop)

Sam: After Midnight He's with Abi and Sebby at the bar and this is his bi panic he is in love with both of his friends yes this is A.S.S. trio propaganda

Sebastian: California I imagine a situation where he leaves Pelican Town, but is unhappy in the city since it's stagnant and lacks the charm of his hometown

Shane: Love Me Anyway This one for me was a no-brainer, he's so mean but the farmer loves him through it

Bachelorettes:

Abigail: Guilty Pleasure She's canonically dirty-minded and the fun vibes really give it her spunk

Emily: Causal Emily and Shane propaganda but definitely while he's fighting his addiction he wants no strings attached that doesn't end well but shane's an actual man and realizes the errors of his ways

Haley: Good Luck, Babe! .... no shit

Leah: Femininomenon She'd definitely be the one to fail with online love hit it like rom pom pom pom get it hot like papa john make a bitch go on and on it's a femininomenon that's leah energy baby

Maru: My Kink Is Karma Farmer break up scenario but she'd be pissed about it especially since her breakup dialogue is very "fuck you and eat shit but I'm better than you"

Penny: Kaleidoscope Same as Maru but she'd be sad about it instead

[smytherines]

☠ agent curt mega pretty pleaseeee

Ooooohhh angry/violent headcanon for Curt. This is an interesting one. I wrote waaaay too much here and I'm probably gonna end up in fandom jail for this one, but...

I mean we've talked about this before, but I genuinely do not see the horrible toxic manipulative Owen/little innocent cinnamon roll Curt dynamic that a lot of people seem to get from A1P1. It just doesn't track for me with what actually happens in that scene. Interpretation is an art, and everyone's art style is different, I just personally can't see anything to support it.

For me, pre-fall curtwen is a relationship of equals. Equals who often irritated each other because they were very different people (but also because they were very similar people), equals who didn't have any real concept of how to have a healthy relationship (especially with another man), equals who individually had a lot of flaws and messed up coping mechanisms and (in my headcanon at least) neurodevelopmental disabilities that made them uniquely suited for espionage, but also gave them all sorts of weird problems that they had no way of understanding or fixing. For me, they each gave as good as they got. For better or worse.

So keeping that in mind, I think about that part of A1P1 where Cynthia is insulting Curt while trying to recruit Owen to A.S.S., because that interaction, and what comes after it, is very important for my understanding of who pre-fall Curt was as a person.

Even though Owen doesn't entertain the idea of working for A.S.S. for even a second, Curt gets jealous, and pissed off, and hangs up on Cynthia. I think Owen's line is "What are you, jealous? You know I'd never work for the Americans," and its incredulous, like its a silly thing for Curt to get upset about because Owen would never even consider it. Curt pulls his flask out as soon as the call is over, and he responds to Owen pretty sharply by saying "Oh I do know that you couldn't handle it." He responds as if Owen has threatened his status at A.S.S.

We see this dynamic again when Owen chastises him for drinking, and Curt mocks his accent while saying "not until the jobs done." We see it again when Owen gestures to the banana peel like "what are you doing," and Curt responds fairly harshly with (I think, I'm doing this off memory) "this whole place is about to be garbage anyways, who gives a shit."

Those moments, for me, imply that Curt gets embarrassed easily, he gets jealous easily, and that he reacts very defensively when he is criticized, which is just Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 101. It couldn't get more typical RSD than that. And each criticism, even though they're individually pretty mild, just seems to make him act more recklessly during A1P1, like he's trying to show that actually he's a badass and Owen just worries too much. Again, very RSD.

The thing about RSD is that- especially when you don't know you have it- sometimes your first impulse is to get furious. Not annoyed. Not irritated. But like blood pulsing in your ears, seeing red kind of furious. Your heart rate elevates. It's like your body goes into fight or flight, and more often than not your body is going to pick fight. And because ADHD is a lifelong thing, unless you're getting treatment or at least a diagnosis and information, you literally have no concept that this is not how other people react emotionally, so you justify your own behavior because you truly do not understand that this isn't normal (ask me how I know hahahaaa)

As much as we love them, and as much as I truly believe they loved each other, they probably got into a fair few fistfights over the years. These are two men who are accustomed to violence. Who are very good at violence. Who have a flirty torture scene and then tell the guy whose knees Owen just shot out that "you've just been used for sport" (Owen), and "I hope you had fun- I know we sure did" (Curt).

To me, pre-fall Curt seems like the type to put Owen down a lot with relatively minor digs "as a joke" (aka he is bad with feelings), and to some degree it doesn't bother Owen that much because that's just how they are. They banter. But sometimes, maybe when Owen is tired or feeling particularly sensitive that day, he'll go straight for the jugular- zero in on the thing Curt is most sensitive about. With Curt its death by a thousand cuts, with Owen its a laser guided missle.

I've talked about this before too, but I think that by the time we get to A1P1 Curt probably already has a bit of a drinking problem. After the fall, drinking is just how he manages to survive his grief. But I think before the fall he could get miserable and sour and petty while drunk, take out his insecurities on the people around him, and probably on occasion just start fights because he's bored and will take any stimulation he can get.

I don't think this is just a thing he does with Owen either, I think this has probably been a problem for him his whole life. He feels things very close to the surface. He is very emotional, which is a thing you're not allowed to be as a man, as a boy/teen/man in the 30s, 40s, and 50s, and a thing that is very dangerous if you are a gay man during this time period.

He also has a big fucking ego. During the 54 Below concert spoken intros they describe what happens in A1P1 as "when these two spies are together they are gay and unstoppable- until Curt's ego gets in the way." And I think a big part of that ego is wrapped up in his performance of his gender. That if he's the very best at this extremely hypermasculine profession then nobody will notice any of the stereotypically feminine traits he has, no one will think he is actually sensitive and tender-hearted and more vulnerable than he appears. He thinks that performing stereotypical 1950s masculinity will insulate him from anyone ever finding out his secret- that he likes men, that he's in love with a man.

Also, ADHD can make you very impatient, easily bored, and Jesus let me tell you I know from experience that when an ADHDer gets too bored for too long, they get irritated. At everything, at nothing. So the combination of these factors makes me think that he probably was the kind of kid to get into scraps (especially at any suggestion that he was not masculine enough), the kind of adult who felt too much and got it out with aggression. He was a brawler. Spying helped focus his aggression. He got to still have it, but he got to feel like it was serving a noble purpose.

I do also think that, even if he gave Owen a lot of shit (particularly for the crime of not being American), if someone insulted Owen in front of him, or if one of their enemies hurt Owen, I fully believe Curt would go full-on berserker mode to defend Owen. So it isn't entirely a negative thing. He can utilize his anger and violence to protect people he loves too.

[chimera-international]

Did you all know that a lot of our time and effort goes into researching and bringing to light queer history? One example I’d like to bring to mind are two spies from the early Cold War. It’s a beautiful love story that sadly ends in tragedy.

Two spies, one of them with the MI6, the other with the A.S.S. Agent Owen Carvour and Agent Curt Mega. Maybe you’ve heard of the two of them. If you know anything about the government during that time, you’d know how much risk any British or American government agent was in if they were exposed as gay. These two were partnered up, and they eventually fell in love.

It wasn’t easy, it was secret meetings and quick fucks and hidden kisses on missions. But it was theirs, and they had each other. The two of them against the world. Curt and Owen, Mega and Carvour, the two greatest spies to ever live.

But somehow, the director of the A.S.S. found out. She instructed Curt Mega to eliminate his partner, otherwise he would be fired and blacklisted from any government job. He was selfish, he was afraid, and he did it.

They were doing a job together at a Russian weapons facility, they were supposed to just get the blueprints and go. But Curt insisted they blow it up. He purposefully rigged the explosion for too short. Then he dropped a banana peel on the staircase. He let Owen, his partner, fall to his death. And just in case that hadn’t taken him out, he ensured the bomb would have.

Agent Curt Mega killed his partner, while poor Owen spent his last moments believing Curt would come back for him.

This has happened more than once. The history of these queer spies is tragic and awful. But it’s important. Thank you for your time.

[crush-like-that]

A.S.S. headcanons cause leave me alone: - Abigail calls Sebastian "Sebby" (because he absolutely hated it and she thought it was funny) and Sam "Sammy" (because he felt left out that he didn't get a fun nickname) - Sebastian calls Abigail "Abi" and Sam "Samathan" (though this is only occasionally. like when he's scolding sam (like john->jonathan) - Sam calls Abigail "Abs" and Sebastian "Seb" (and occasionally "Sebster". just cause he hates it.) - Sam and Abigail had been friends since middle school. They met Sebastian in high school - Guys they simply Are that one friend group where everyone fucks with everyone. Sam started crushing on Seb as soon as he met him. Sam and Sebastian have 100% made out before. Sebastian also has slight comphet (already feels so different. being queer would only make him more different) so he doesn't know if he actually Likes Abigail, or if he just really values their friendship. Abigail is living every bisexual girl's dream by having two boyfriends who are also in love with each other. (alternatively, they like each other and it's so obvious it actually becomes annoying for abi to hang out with them.) - They would (try to) sneakily buy box dyes and piercing stuff. After every sleep over/hang out they each had some new piercing, different hair, etc etc - They are so cool but also losers. Sk8ter boi, Emo boy, and Scene Queen (evolved to alternative, grunge, goth)

ugh to be added to cause they're all i think about

[magicaltickles]

Stardew Valley Tickle Hcs!!

By yours truly :D

This will consist of hcs for the very best A.S.S trio. I love these three very much, Sebastian is my husband and Sam is the friend who crashes at our place and Abby and I sit on the side and watch them be dumb. Anyways if you want other characters, feel free to send in an ask! Enjoy!

Includes all of them x farmer hcs too!

👾 Abigail 👾

- Now, all three of these lovelies are switches. It varies between all of them who is more the ler and lee, but Abby is the true switch of the trio.

- Abby as a ler is so deadly. She might not be the strongest, but she can certainly tickle her lee(s) to the ground and make them stay there.

- Not to mention the teasing??? Abigail is sooo teasy and super good at it too. She's observant and will figure out the best things to make you flustered to use it.

- For Seb, that might be something like "oh, it seems you've come across a big, scary tickle monster. tell me, great powerful wizard, what is your next move?" while squeezing his sides. For Sam, she'll be tickling his feet and legs and say something like "I'm making these legs stronger so you can do all those skateboard tricks you tell us about!". She'll also pretend to do said tricks on his tummy and ribs hehe.

- For her dear farmer, it usually ends up in a tease about planting seeds around their tummy and sides. "I just need to hoe the ground *pokes the spots* and now I can spread the seeds *light skitters* and now I need to water them *raspberries all over*!"

- Definitely cannot take what she dishes out, though. Cracks under teases 100%

- As a lee, Abby tries to put up a strong front, but one tease and she's done for. She's the person who will use the tickle monster tease on her lees, but not be able to take it as a lee herself

- Very bubbly giggles, though she doesn't really like them that much. She wants to be tough and tough girls don't have bubbly giggles in her eyes. Or be taken down by feathers.

- Worst spot is her hips and thighs. Loves to go after tummies and knees (esp if you're sitting w her while at the bar on Fridays. does the egg crack thing)

🎸 Sam 🎸

- Tries his best, that's for certain. Sam has all the right ideas, he just isn't always confident in his execution.

- He's a big brother so he automatically has ler rights. When Vincent was younger, Sam would mess with him all the time and they'd play wrestle and it'd be really cute. But Vincent has gotten to the stage where big brother isn't as cool anymore so rip.

- Sam's learning how to be a better ler through getting his friends <3

- Abby says his teases are getting better but it's only bc they're so silly, you have to laugh. His favorite to use is saying that he's "tuning" his instrument while tweaking toes and hips and then he tests it out by "playing" his lee's ribs.

- It's through Sam's silly teases they actually heard Sebastian's real laugh for the first time <33

- While Sam is strong and can and will pin you down, he's also the sweetest and much prefers to be cuddling with his dearest farmer and holding them close with one arm while his free hand goes to town wherever available. He says your laugh is his favorite song <3

- As a lee, Sam is the most adorable thing ever. He's like a puppy.

- His laugh is boyish in the best way. Very sweet and melodic. Tell him his laugh is better than his songs and he'll blush so brightly, it's so cute.

- Vibrate your fingers into his tummy and he's literally done for. Down for the count. A pile of giggles at your fingertips.

- Sam genuinely loves being tickled too. He will admit it, no questions asked. Sam thinks tickling is a lovely thing because he loves his friends and making them happy and this makes them laugh and be happy.

- Worst spot is his tummy and he loves to go after ribs and the spot where the ribs and sides meet.

🐸 Sebastian 🐸

- My husband for real life I love this man so much.

- Seb honestly prefers to be a watcher more than a part of the action. For example, if he's not the one getting got, he's the one holding down the lee while the third party gets them.

- Hugs from behind, holding arms up with one hand, that kind of stuff.

- While doing so, he might contribute a little with whispered teases into the lee's ear about how cute they're being. Depending on how close he is to the lee and how confident he's feeling, he might nuzzle his nose against their neck or blow on their ear. Little things to make them more giggly.

-Unless provoked by Sam or Abigail, the only person he confidently lers for is his dear farmer. Overworking? Tickles. Tired? Tickles. Looking extra cute? Tickles.

- Prefers light tickles to rough ones. Likes to see his lee giggly and flustered. Seb's main teases include "programming" on tummies and playing games on ribs and hips.

- The person who genuinely wants to give you a foot massage and ends up tickling you because you kept giggling when he reached certain spots.

- As a lee, Sebby has a wheezy laugh. Make a few huffs here and there. It takes a lot to get him to break and actually become giggly. Sam has the best track record for it with his dumb teases and jokes.

- Sam and Abby are extra soft with him because he doesn't lee often and they don't want him to not like it </3

- Sebastian gets squeaky when Abby uses her nails on his neck. And he melts when Sam goes for his back. Melt spot supremacy

- Sebastian's worst spot is his neck (and shoulder blades, but no one's found out about that yet). His favorite place to tickle is ears and hips.

Once again, if you have any requests, feel free to send in an ask!! I also do genshin impact, honkai star rail, and bungo stray dogs!

[cindytoast404]

procrastinating writing so here are some headcanons on how i think curt and owen met pre-canon!!!

so first off, i think curt's definitely come to terms with his sexuality by the time he's met owen - it's just another secret for him to keep, right? owen, on the other hand, i don't think has fully processed his attraction to men - i think he knows something's there, but rather chooses to repress it completely and puts all thoughts aside.

but then the two of them end up on the same mission - A.S.S. and MI6 are both looking for the same thing, documents perhaps, busting an arms deal, and both of them arrive to stop it at the same time. both curt and owen have a confrontation over who's going to get to complete their mission - but in the time they spend trying to one-up the other, they both almost screw up their respective missions. unfortunately, the only way they can get out of the mess they've stuck themselves in is to work together, so, begrudgingly, they manage to fight their way out of the situation.

afterwards, MI6 and A.S.S find out - but after finding out that both organisations were after the same thing, they decide to pair owen and curt together for their mutual interest, and to improve foreign relationships.

curt is upset at the idea of having a partner, feeling like he's been punished - especially when he finds out the partner is the british bastard with a superiority complex from earlier. owen, too, would much prefer to work alone, but he also views curt as too reckless, too arrogant for him. they're angry at each other, and they almost get each other killed on the mission multiple times due to their arguing, but the mission goes off without a hitch, and curt can't deny that owen's admittedly attractive for a pretentious bastard, and owen can't deny that curt's a damn good shot.

and when they're paired up again after the mission goes off without a hitch, neither of them really complain.

[uhhhitsme]

15 please and thank you 🙏🙏

the moment the door opens, owen's up on his feet, gun in hand. "are you kidding---why the hell are you wet?"

he'd been waiting at their rendezvous spot---some moth-infested cottage in the middle of the woods---for the better part of an hour. they have only a bit over two hours to get to the facility they need to infiltrate in time, a lot of land to cover on foot, and his partner for this job is nearly an hour late and dripping water over the floorboards as he slams the door shut.

"it's a long story," agent curt mega---the so called best and the brightest of the spies that a.s.s. could provide---gasps, dumps his sopping wet bag against the door, and continues. "is there a mirror here? i need to fix my hair."

owen is all at once immediately reminded of all the reservations he had doing this assignment. in the weeks leading up to this moment, he had tried to justify it away---clearly, the two of them made a good enough team their handlers decided to pair them up again, so he supposed he had to see the bright side of things considering there was nothing he could do about it. but christ. within seconds of meeting again, owen already wants to strangle this egotistical, callous, stupid---

he clears his throat. "we don't have time. and i believe you at least owe me an explanation for why you're an hour late."

mega, who had been running his fingers through his damp curls---odd, owen could've sworn his hair was straight the last time they met---looks up in surprise at that. "i am?"

owen grits his teeth, pinches the bridge of his nose, and tries to think of the diplomatic disaster it would be if he shot this man in the face right now. it's only barely helping. this is going to be the worst assignment owen's even been on. "yes. you are. we need to get a move on."

mega groans. "can't i get, like, a five second breather?"

"from what, exactly?"

"three assassins just tried to fucking kill me, that's what!"

owen blinks. once. twice. three times. stunned into silence for a very long moment. "...what?"

"you heard me," mega grumbles, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his back. "let's go, i'll tell you what happened on the way."

owen has many things to say about that---like how they should almost certainly inform their handlers about this, and that this complicates their mission in a manner that owen very much had not anticipated, and also maybe inquire whether or not mega is injured and needs fixing up---but before he can, mega flings the door open and stomps outside. there's nothing owen can do but snatch up his bag and follow.

"do you know the way? because i sure as hell don't."

owen sighs. "it was on the mission files."

mega raises his wet bag again in explanation. "can't exactly read a map when all the ink is fucked up."

"why did you get so wet in the first place? did they try to drown you?"

that makes mega laugh. "nah, they came after me with bullets, which was kind of stupid of them considering i was in the middle of the woods and had a shitton of tree cover, but, whatever. they were after me for a job i did a couple months ago in new york, not anything to do with this mission."

"are you sure?"

"oh, yeah. they had..." he winces. "very specific threats."

"that's good to know," owen says with a sigh of relief. he has no idea if they're going to make it to their destination in time without further outside interference, and he would rather not spend the entire walk on edge worrying about whether or not their plan had been discovered.

"yeah, well, thanks for your concern," mega mutters sarcastically. "i barely made it out with my life."

"and how did you do that, anyways? you still have failed to explain why you look like you've been standing in the rain for a couple hours."

mega lights up. his smile is wider than owen's ever seen it before---nothing like the smug smirk that owen remembers him having. it makes something inside of owen flip, and he isn't sure why. "well, obviously i went off the path for some cover, right?" he's clearly trying to sound indifferent about it, but his voice is just a little bit breathless with excitement. "and i couldn't see them---but they definitely could see me---instead of wasting my time trying to shoot them i kind of just started sprinting, and so i found this waterfall---"

"a waterfall?"

"yes, a waterfall, keep up, carvour---there was a waterfall, and it had like... a cavern behind it or some shit, i'm not sure, but i hid behind it---which is why i'm wet---and then when they broke through the trees i shot them through the water."

"how much ammo do you have left? do you need another gun? i have a spare."

"it's just three bullets," mega says, waving a hand dismissively. "i'll be fine."

it takes a moment for owen to process that statement, and when he does, he pauses. runs the story through his head again. turns to mega. "i'm sorry, are you saying you managed to outrun three men with guns---take each of them down with one bullet---from behind a waterfall? at long-distance?"

"yep," mega says, popping the p, and there's that infuriating dirty grin that owen remembers. "impressive, right?"

owen doesn't say anything. mega nudges his arm and somehow grins wider. "i can tell you're impressed, man, just admit it."

"...that might be so," owen says tightly. he hates that he can see why he was called one of their best agents---he must be incredible with that gun. and he's quick on his feet, and good in a crisis. although owen's hoping that there won't be any crisis on this assignment, he'll still be useful to have around. and there's something endearing about the way he smiles at him now, after his admission.

perhaps this job won't be as terrible as he thought.

[sunnifer]

lesbian curtwen hcs please 🤲

OK a lot of my thoughts about them are very much half formed and just sort of floating around in my brain so i don't really know how to verbalise them (something i should have thought about before i posted lmao) but they are very much there. so.

cait (aka agent caitlin mega) is like if u took curt mega and put him in his ultimate nightmare situation. missions are way less dangerous and exciting and being a woman in the 50s means she can't dress how she wants (at the start of her career she's very butch but as the lavender scare approaches she changes her clothes and hair to draw less suspicion. she still wears pants whenever possible and cuts her hair as short as 50s standards will allow though) and she's underestimated by her peers despite the director of the a.s.s. also being a woman and generally improving views on female spies in 50s america. unlike canon curt her confidence, recklessness and physical strength don't get her much respect as a spy or as a woman in general. so that combined with the inherent loneliness of the job means that when she meets ollie carvour (who understands the experience of being not only a female spy but also a lesbian in the lavender scare) they immediately form a strong connection and it doesn't take long for both of them to start catching feelings. i think in general these guys would be a little more emotionally open with each other than i think canon curtwen would, considering for women there was less stigma around showing vulnerability. but they're still stubborn asses in a very competitive and ruthless profession so it's not too dissimilar.

ollie (aka agent olwen jane carvour) is not quite as different to canon but i wanna talk about her anyway just for funsies. historically britain's views on female spies were generally more conservative than the us so based on that olwen would have had to work harder to be taken seriously. however, she has an advantage over cait in that she fits 1950s standards for women (in espionage and in general) both in her general style and mannerisms and her manner of working - stealthy and methodical as opposed to cait's tendency to wing it and blow shit up. ollie uses people's impressions of her to her advantage, blending into social events seamlessly as a charming young debutante despite being downright murderous. this tires her to no end, and until she meets cait she feels like she has to entirely mask anything even slightly non-heteronormative about her to succeed in her job. then she meets this bold, reckless american agent who keeps her hair just a bit too short and never seems to wear skirts, and she suddenly feels seen.

but yeah they're gay or whatever

[spacedykez]

its interesting how none of the spy agencies in saf are really portrayed in a positive light. chimaera is shown as what i would call a sympathetic villain. the KGB is very obviously portrayed as bad. the A.S.S. is shown multiple times to not care too much about curt and barb LITERALLY tells him to his face "you are not a man you're property of the american government" which when you think about it. gets really dark really quick. MI6 is kind of the "wins by doing absolutely nothing" meme because we don't really see anything of them besides owen mentioning them a total of once. just very fun how they literally all suck

[smytherines]

Oh my god this got so long. I swore to myself that I was going to be normal about this and not just dump all of my headcanon immediately but like

Do you ever think about the fact that in the 1950s & 1960s there just were not that many nuclear weapons blueprints out there (and most of the document stealing was done by long term plants, not high risk guys like Curt & Owen)

If you were a spy during the Cold War you were most likely doing regime change. You were arming, training, and supplying coups. You were helping set the stage for American or UK capital to set up shop and repress and enslave Indigenous populations and export every drop of wealth possible from the global south. You were fighting a proxy war against "communism" (which often just meant workers striking for better conditions, at least intially) all across the globe.

With that context I think a lot about the coup in Guatemala in 1954, where the CIA trained and armed the coup and overthrew the democratically elected president of Guatemala (Jacobo Árbenz Guzmán) at the behest of the United Fruit Company. Árbenz was left of center, and he had land reforms planned that would compensate UFCO for their land, appropriate it, and redistribute it to workers. Guatemala offered to pay the value listed on UFCO tax documents (1.2 million), but UFCO demanded 16 million

If I start talking about this I'll never stop, but long story short UFCO had spent 50+ years gobbling up all the land in Guatemala, grew Bananas and exported them for massive profits, and terrorized or outright massacred Indigenous workers to keep them in line. The 1954 coup and the subsequent I think its 36 years of civil war in Guatemala is all down to the CIA doing a coup because the head of the CIA (Allen Dulles) was on the board of United Fruit and they wanted that blood money baby. It was a genocide.

Hard swerve back into it here: I don't know about Owen, but at least Agent Curt Mega had a *very* good chance of participating in the 1954 coup. In creating a literal Banana Republic (a puppet government controlled by US interests). I tend to think Owen was there too because it's more interesting that way. I think it's a mistake to focus exclusively on the Russian cat vs mouse and ignore the larger geopolitical context of the cold war.

Owen "dies" because of Curt's hubris- not just the drinking and talking him into risks he isn't comfortable with, but with his job at A.S.S., because someone else points and Curt shoots. In my headcanon Curt helped to create a banana republic that harmed and killed an incredible number of people, and he is just as careless when he leaves his banana peel on the stairs and "kills" Owen. Curt is absolutely firm in the belief that he is one of the good guys. And I think Owen was prolly the same way- until his body got wrecked and he got abandoned by the man he loved and he had a long, long time to think about the foreign policy of his government and what he and Curt really *did* on their fun lil spy jaunts.

If Owen was in Honduras (where they staged the Guatemala coup), then he has to reckon with the fact that he "died" due to *his own* hubris as well. He has to process that he joined the intelligence game because he grew up during the Blitz, during WWII, but that post WWII Britain was doing the same imperialist bullshit the US was. That Owen wasn't saving the world, he was destroying it. He was crushing half the planet under the thumb of British power. He was enacting the very genocides he joined up to prevent. That's why he wants a world with "no more agencies, no more spies, no more secrets."

So when Chimera offers Owen the chance to undermine US & UK interests, to take the power out of their hands by using and discarding a ridiculous n*zi, Owen just goes for it. I don't subscribe to the Chimera brainwashing theory, I like to think Owen joined Chimera because post-banana he became ideologically aligned with Chimera.

I imagine Chimera pulled him out of the rubble and got him back on his feet, and whispered in his ear about US/UK imperialism. We can argue about whether the ends justify the means, whether he goes too far, whether Chimera has pure intentions (doubt), but Owen isn't just some nightmare monster. He tells Curt "you've been blind" and "no one's innocent." He calls Curt a "caveman" and what is it, an "arrogant brute?" He has a rationale. He believes he is right. He's kind of a dick about it, but he has radicalized in a way Curt hasn't.

I think Owen sees Curt as clinging to cool guy spy shit (and the macho straight guy facade) instead of seeing the world for what it is. I think he probably also thinks about Alan Turing, about the UK arresting gay men- men who had previously been considered national heroes- for doing what Owen does (loving a man). I think he thinks about the US doing an elaborate and very public witchhunt of communists and gay people and anyone else who doesn't conform to good ol American capitalism. I think he insults Curt because he has been through a lot of shit that has changed his perspective, and he cannot believe that Curt *still doesn't see it*

I know there's the whole "DMA killed 1147 people, mostly girls from ages 14 to 22" kickstarter joke, but I'm sorry as much as I love Cynthia it'll be a cold day in hell before I believe anything the US state department says.

I don't think Agent Curt Mega is a perfect adorable babygirl who has never done anything wrong, I don't think Owen is (and has always been) a cruel and sadistic comic book villain. I think these are two men who loved each other in a time where it was very difficult, in a profession where they are literally the property of their respective governments. Where they could be arrested and forced into conversion therapy if they were discovered.

I think they were flawed (Curt cocky and careless, Owen condescending) but loved and respected each other as best they could, and when a massive trauma hits them they break different ways. Curt remains the lawful good, but Owen reframes his sense of right and wrong. I tend to think he did legit torture a lot of people, and even enjoyed it, but I think it was people related to these proxy wars, people related to these coups. People who could advance Chimera's objectives

I think Owen tortures Curt because he hates him, and he doesn't kill Curt (despite having soooo many chances) because he loves him. Owen has so much hesitation in the staircase scene. When Curt brings up their relationship he wavers and his face softens and his gun drops. He brings the gun back up, but despite having Curt at gunpoint for like 3 minutes he doesn't kill him. He hates him, but he loves him. If Curt takes the chance to talk to Owen, then maybe...

But Curt is convinced he is the good guy, which makes Owen the bad guy. And bad guys get put down like dogs. The ideological split is something Curt can't handle, so he shoots and kills his unarmed ex-lover. He just needs a win. He needs it to be over.

I don't have anything against anyone else's headcanon, I think it's a testament to how good Spies Are Forever really is that nearly 8 years later so many people still spend so much time taking apart this comedy musical about gay spies. But for me, it's more compelling if Owen is traumatized and flawed and ideologically opposed to the heroes of our story. I think it's more interesting that Curt kills the man he spent 4 years pining for because he can't accept the possibility that he could be the baddie.

Oh god I have to stop this is too much. But yeah. I've got feelings.