#but the part of his character stories that says 'he can differentiate every minute memory' of the primordial sea

[zareleonis]

unbearably haunting how furina and neuvillette both have a "past self" of sorts whose memory and experience they had nearly no knowledge of, and it took furina's other half arranging her own death, thus losing that part of herself forever, for neuvi to regain his

[scenics]

what's your favorite thing about wong kar wai's movies? why do you like his movies so much?

wrote this in the notes app at 3am. this got very long. wkw’s one of my fave directors of all time

first of all, i did not like wong kar wai’s movies growing up. my first introduction to wong kar wai was with in the mood for love, and i always hated how slow the movie was—i could not understand the value of two middle aged people walking circles around each other on when i was eight years old. my mother was particularly fascinated with the movie and every few years or so she’d borrow it from the local library just to rewatch it by herself, or with me as an unwilling audience. maybe she just really liked tony leung like everyone else did, or i didn’t understand what she was going through back then. now, she watches it a lot less, but ironically i’m the one who watches it on a regular basis. when i look back, i realize my hatred of in the mood for love stemmed from my rejection of my mother when i was younger, along with anything related to my culture/heritage. it was my way of reconciling the isolation i felt in my new home at a young age—i thought that rejecting any part of my past would allow me to assimilate better (and for the most part it worked until senior year of high school give or take). i can say now that my former hatred/rejection of wong kar wai’s greatest work—his magnum opus—makes me appreciate him a lot more. like my mother taught me, it is best not to hate if you can love one day.

my real love and fascination for wong kar wai started when i was 18. the week after my first week of college finals, i watched his entire filmography (excluding anything post 2046) in one long sitting. i was exhausted from an accumulation of things: college did not go the way i expected and i hated science with a passionate sincerity by the end of the year. that year, i had also not chosen to go home.  regretted not just going back to vietnam a lot and i spent the entire first year of college just missing it. i was mentally emotionally exhausted and homesick so i found immediate comfort and familiarity in wong kar wai’s films. all of wong kar wai’s films are based around the simple theme of connection, each character desires connection with another —whether through strangers like in chungking express or estranged lovers in a foreign city like in happy together. every character is lost in their own world of loneliness, but they’re not consumed by it as they constantly venture out to find a cure for their loneliness. there’s a sort of warm tenderness to their eternal loneliness. wong kar wai’s characters are all very simple, but that just makes them the more normal. he adds an amusing, yet charming aspect to a lot of his characters, which makes them all the more real. at the end of the day, they’re the most ordinary of people, but framed in wong kar wai’s romantic vision of the world. for me, i can see myself in a lot of his characters, especially as i’ve now settled myself into my twenties.

most of all, wong kar wai’s movies remind me of home a lot. more than anything. vietnamese cinema barely exists, and his films of hong kong are one of the only threads of my childhood memories captured in film. in his films, his characters loneliness stems from an urban isolation and a desire to find home. how can one constantly be surrounded by people, yet feel so lonely?  90s hong kong reminds me a lot of early 2000s saigon, right before true modern urbanization began to take foot. the saigon i return to now is not the place i grew up in, everything i once knew with familiarity has become foreign (you could argue the same for hong kong too). like both the main characters in happy together, i’m very much far away from home now, but what makes it worse is i don’t have a home to return to anymore despite it still being there. the isolation i feel here is much less comforting than the familiar isolation of asia, it’s an entirely distinct feeling i’ve come to differentiate. the night version of hong kong in fallen angels reminds me very much of saigon at night when i was little—when i would cling to my aunts back on the motorcycle. even more, hong kong at night is an unmistakable feeling—a true moment of limbo that you can experience nowhere else as the city seems to slow to a stop before starting up again (the dim sum scene in fallen angels reminds me of my uncle taking me with him to smalls shops buried deep in hong kong’s markets. in my opinion, the most crowded, dirty, loud places have the best food).

one of the things i also love the most about wong kar wais films are they are essentially “of an era.” context heavily influences his films, and watchers should understand that his best films are primarily made in the decade of hong kong’s handover from the uk to china.  looking back now, his films are representative of the end of hong kong pop culture culture. they’re the last threads of a former culture powerhouse in asia—hk cantopop, film, and tv throughout the late 70s to 90s had an immense influence on asian pop culture today. everybody knew and loved hong kong, because it was the only true source of quality pop culture in an age of barely any in asia. hong kong was the beginning of everything essentially. kpop even, i would argue, would not be what it is today without cantopop—many idols are modeled after the cantopop idols of the 80s along with western influence. it’s sad to see that hong kong’s impact has been increasingly erased over the past 20 or so years—hong kong is now a shell of it’s former self as it can never return to its former glory. wong kar wai’s greatest films are chungking express, fallen angels, happy together, and in the mood for love. they’re all made in the years predating or after the handover, and you can see the differences in feeling of each film as it nears 1997. happy together, aside from being a somewhat tragic love story, is also the tragedy of hong kong. the handover of 1997 seems to haunt that film as the characters are also far way from hong kong; they’re on the other side of the world. there’s a sense of fear and desperation that runs parallel to the main love story and i feel like people don’t see that the first time without an understanding of historical context. chungking express and fallen angels are two sides of hong kong—hong kong by day and by night—they’re wong kar wai’s love letter to hong kong itself before it disappears in the subsequent years (which it has sadly). both of those movies are time capsules of an era, they capture an atmosphere that is now gone in hong kong. 2046 is an extension of those four movies above—an imagining of how hong kong would be be 99 years after the “end” of hong kong as it is in 1997. and finally, wong kar wai’s greatest work is in the mood for love. it’s his magnum opus, and the true end of an era: for wong kar wai’s creative capacity, for hong kong pop culture, for the actors themselves. wong kar wai has been unable to follow in the mood for love successfully with other directorial features, it’s a masterpiece in itself in its inability for recreation. the movie speaks for itself, even maggie subsequently quit acting shortly afterwards because she felt she could never top that role—it was the end of her acting career in terms of era. everything that wong kar wai put out in the 90s is of an era, it cannot and never be repeated or recreated just as the old hong kong is gone (which is why his attempt to make sequels for those movies with blossoms and the chungking express sequel will be futile. wong kar wai does not realize that that era has indeed passed (and his his break up with christopher doyle has proved to be fatal for both of them).

finally, a small addition about wong kar wai as a director himself. he’s a cancer, very true to his nature, which explains how he can so fluidly translate and portray emotion in his films. they’re almost overflowing with tender emotion, but very much so in an implicit manner. i could never do that in anything i create, it’d end up being very much lynchian in manner, which makes me appreciate his films a lot more. moreover, wong kar wai has a certain way, an intimacy with all his actors. he brings out the best in them for only his movies, and that’s what makes him so special. also, i relate a lot to wong kar wai’s method of working ..the man is one of the worst procrastinators he’s worse than me. he almost never plans or writes scripts for his movies. most of his films especially in the 90s are very much “go with the flow” improvisation (u can see that the characters are very much the actors even it’s hard to distinguish). he was editing in the mood for love up to the last minute before final submission for cannes, that’s just how much of a procrastinator he was and why it’ll take him a million years to release the chungking express sequel. it’s amazing to think how all of these great movies from wong kar wai are technically equivalent to 2000 word essays submitted a minute past the deadline. what i imagine is how different would his work be if he’d planned ahead (how much better would my essays be if i didn’t write them at 3am?). but i guess we can all see how much he’s changed in the release of his criterion collection—-he’s not the person he once was and he can’t recreate the past.

if u read this far i love you thank u for reading my inarticulate nonsense thoughts. i hope u like wong kar wai a lot more than before

[satoshi-mochida]

The Final Fantasy Portal Site has published the first in a three-volume series of Final Fantasy IX interviews in celebration of the game’s 20th anniversary. Final Fantasy IX first launched for PlayStation on July 7, 2000.

The first interview is with Final Fantasy IX event design and scenario writer Kazuhiko Aoki. Volumes two and three will feature artist Toshiyuki Itahana and director Hiroyuki Ito.

Get the full interview with Aoki below.

―Final Fantasy IX is sometimes introduced with the phrase “returning to roots.” Where did Final Fantasy IX sit in the minds of the development team?

Aoki: “The slogans ‘returning to roots’ and ‘return of the crystal’ were there from the start. That’s why the setting of the game also has a medieval fantasy theme.”

―It is true that compared to the science fiction elements of FFVII and FFVIII, Final Fantasy IX made a sudden return to classic fantasy. There were even references to past FF titles, like character and vehicle names. Were those concepts also planned to be included from the beginning of development under the theme of “returning to roots”?

Aoki: “There were some things that were planned from the beginning, and then there were other elements that came about from those in charge of each part of the game during the creation process.

“The newborn chocobo, named Bobby Corwen…smash those names together and you get Boco.

“The foundation is 10 percent, and the remaining 90 percent comes from individual creators putting their own ideas and heart into a project. I think that’s the creation process of not only FF, but all games from Square Enix.”

―Each main character of Final Fantasy IX carries their own background story into the battles they face. Do you have a favorite character? Please tell us your reasons as well, if you have any.

Aoki: “I did my best not to have any favorites, so as not to be biased toward any specific character.

“There were backstories we wanted to elaborate on more, but sadly had to give up on due to time and data constraints.

“At the time I wished I could have developed how Zidane is afflicted by the difference in social status between him and Garnet a little more. Illustrating the breakdown of relations with the nobles in Treno due to their disapproval of Zidane and Garnet’s relationship, Zidane butting up against the social confines he faces and the incredible power Garnet holds as royalty, and how Zidane gets back up on his feet despite all of that—I felt that would have done a lot to help further portray him as a character.”

―The NPCs are also very well developed. What about them?

Aoki: “I don’t have any biases when it comes to NPC characters either. There actually wasn’t any differentiation in my mind between main characters and sub characters. Once the game’s story started to come to life on screen, my drive to develop each character even further – the steadfast reliability of Marcus or Garnet’s internal struggles, for example—only got stronger.”

―The Tantalus members Genero, Zenero, Benero and all their siblings are an unusual bunch. How did they come to be?

Aoki: “There wasn’t a trace of them until right before the game went gold. Not only limited to Final Fantasy IX, each FF series title has a period of about three to four months of quality improvements and brushing up after all elements that will be included in a game are implemented. How can we make it more interesting, what would make it easier to understand, what new discoveries can we find to add to the experience…as a creator you approach the process with a feeling similar to recreating something entirely. Those siblings came about suddenly right in the middle of that final tweaking for Final Fantasy IX.”

―The characters in Final Fantasy IX are built shorter than in previous FF games. Was there a reason for that?

Aoki: “I don’t know the reason for making the characters shorter in stature, but I did often hear that the cutscene team had a hard time making use of the know-how they gained working on Final Fantasy VIII. It was apparently a lot of trial and error.

“The characters in Final Fantasy IX excel at showing a certain sweetness or silliness, but even when they take on a totally different serious tone their expressions are so genuine. I feel that Final Fantasy IX had quite a good balance going in that sense.”

―Final Fantasy IX is known for its many popular and memorable lines. Whose idea was it to put together the loading screen of CG screenshots overlaid with words from the game and art?

Aoki: “The cutscene leader and event staff made that by picking out lines from the game. It was also the manifestation of a strong desire to show what kind of characters these were.”

―There were also many monsters with unique gimmicks, such as Ragtime Mouse’s quiz-style battle. Do you have a favorite monster or gimmick used by one?

Aoki: “I’m not sure if you could call it a unique monster, but my favorite are the black mages who appear in Cleyra. Your party characters don’t do a victory pose even if you win against them. That came from the battle system team’s consideration of the scene those battles take place in. You grow used to the characters celebrating when they win a battle, so I was really surprised the first time I saw that.

“I don’t know if this is still true, but development happened with next to no meetings between the event and battle design teams. Although that’s not to say that those teams didn’t get along.”

―Final Fantasy IX has a lot of mini games, many of which are quite difficult. Are there any you find particularly memorable?

Aoki: “Chocobo Hot and Cold. It came from the director wanting some contents that would allow traveling all over the game world. The concept came together in less than 30 minutes, but the actual creators who worked on the mini-game put a lot of time into it. Every last detail was done with such care.”

―Final Fantasy IX’s soundtrack was handled by Mr. Nobuo Uematsu. We feel that music is another important factor in expressing characters or story. If there are any songs from Final Fantasy IX that really stand out in your memory, please tell us about them.

Aoki: “That would be the song that Mr. Uematsu played for me the first time he worked at the Hawaii office.

“It was in response to me asking if he had any recommended songs from the new game—I got an idea for part of the story the second it came on. That song would eventually be titled ‘You’re Not Alone.’

“I asked, ‘Are there going to be any more changes to it?’ and he responded, ‘Yes, sorry… I’d like to tweak it a little more.’ It wasn’t finalized until the last minute, so I’m sure he really struggled with the composition of that piece.”

―Was there anything during development that was especially challenging or that sticks out in your mind?

Aoki: “The last few weeks were a battle with data restrictions. We had data increasing every day, having to think about where to divide the story so we’d end up with an amount that fit on each of the four discs. That fine-tuning took some real mental gymnastics.”

―If there’s anything else from your experiences during the development of Final Fantasy IX or messages for the many people who still love Final Fantasy IX you’d be willing to share, we would love to hear it.

Aoki: “There were about 300 people at the party celebrating Final Fantasy IX’s completion. It was developed by a team divided between Japan and Hawaii, so about one-third of the faces there I had never seen before…I was surprised all over again at how many people were involved in the project.

“I’m incredibly happy that Final Fantasy IX is loved by so many people; that’s been a huge motivator and confidence booster when facing jobs I’ve had since. I think that’s true not only for me, but also the many creators who worked on Final Fantasy IX as well. It would be nice to celebrate the game’s 20th anniversary with everyone who was at the post-launch party.

“Near the end of that party, there was a moment when the sound effect team went up on the venue’s stage. ‘In Final Fantasy X, there’s going to be this thing called Blitzball, and there will be a scene with the spectators cheering. We’d love if you would all be willing to help with that!’ they said. And I thought ‘…Oh, they’ve already started working on X.’ Just when I thought things were finished, they had already begun a new Final Fantasy. It really hit me being there, this is how the Final Fantasy series continues on forever.”

―Thank you for your time today!

Final Fantasy IX is available for PlayStation, PlayStation 3, PSP, and PS Vita via PSone Classics, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Switch, PC via Steam, iOS, and Android.

[imma-lil-teapot]

Each TMNT Incarnation and Where They Stand With Me :)

(Nervous chuckle) ... Yeah no, I suck at titles. Moving on! 

Y’all can go ahead and skip this part if you’re not interested in senseless rambling and just wanna get to the TMNT fun~ ;) 

Soooooo, I’ve recently updated my Tumblr page to a blog dedicated to all my fandoms (musing, headcanons, writing, gifs, pics, the works, basically anything and everything in relation to them) since I wasn’t really ever doing anything with it other than using it to share pics mostly. But ever since I stumbled back into the TMNT fandom, I’ve been searching Tumblr for fan content and OMGOSH, did I hit the jackpot! Headcanons, fanfics, Turtle x reader stories, so much juicy stuff! Am hooked! Dunno why I never tried searching for similar stuff in the past for my other fandoms! I guess I just... didn’t realize there was so much content here. :O But anyway, I always wanted a place to share ideas and thoughts regarding my fandoms outside of sites like Deviantart and Fanfiction.net, and heck, it’s been here under my nose all this time... Y’all gonna have to forgive me; I’m an old fart. ;P (Insert image of Slowpoke for reference) So without further ado... 

LET’S GET THIS PIZZA PARTY STARTED! 

Imma start this blog off really simple and, as the title states, just give you all a small-ish idea of where each TMNT universe stands (or ranks?) with me, personally... Note the ‘personally’ part so please don’t feel offended if I don’t share the same opinion as you on a particular verse. ^^; I have my own tastes and will respect the next person’s when it comes to them. ;) Also, please beware the typos (which there most definitely will be)...

IN RELEASE DATE ORDER: (Hopefully they’re right)

MIRAGE COMICS~

Imma just say it: I haven’t read any of them yet. :/ There probably are sites out there that would allow you to view them online for free, but in truth, I’ve been a little slack about trying to find any... That may however change someday as I always tell myself I should really seek out the source material so it’s only a matter of time. What I do know, however, is that they’re of course a lot darker than most incarnations (which I don’t have a problem with personally) and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious as to exactly how much darker. X’D The closest I’ve come to ‘knowing’ these Turts comes from watching the Turtles Forever movie and they weren’t in it for a long time so it’s very difficult to say what they actually mean to me, so we’ll just put these guys down in the ‘not sure’ column for now. ;)

1987 CARTOON~

HAHA~ I think any fan of the franchise as a whole knows this little gem! The series that really hit it off and spawned over a 190 eps! Quite an impressive feat for a Saturday morning cartoon! It made its way to TVs the year before I was born, but it would take another few before it would reach our tubes (we’re always a few years behind the rest of the world :/ ) so I was around four when I was first introduced to it and needless to say, I loved it back then! Michelangelo was initially my fav due to him being my older brothers’ fav and the one they mainly spoke of, but it didn’t take long before my favering gravitated towards Leonardo (even at such a young age) and has been that way ever since. ;) But where exactly does the series stand with me as an adult nowadays with so many other verses we’ve been exposed to? I do hold a lot of nostalgia (as many older do) for it, and I mean, come on, that theme song is ageless, and I even started watching a lot of vids involving the original VAs and the shenanigans they get up to and seriously, it’s so heartwarming and fun to see them! But I have to be honest...

It’s not my fav verse, honestly. I will always adore them, of course, because of the nostalgia and the goofiness... But it’s the latter that’s mostly the reason for it being placed a bit lower on the favoritism ladder. While its a fun watch if you want something lighthearted, I still prefer the idea of the darker undertones that comes with being associated with ninjas. It’s just a preference. Plus, the Turtles designs are big one for me, and I’m sorry to say, but I keep seeing these fellas as more frog-like than turtle, despite the shells. X’D So yeah, no big reasoning for it, and even if someone were to ask me if I like these guys, I’ll still say yes, just that they’re not my ultimate fav is all. ;)

Also, we won’t talk about the Japanese Anime Ninja Turtles: Superman Legend or something to that extent... We’ll just let that one be gently swept under the carpet. ;) Only ever saw the trailer for it and that’s all I’ll ever need to see in my lifetime.

1990 MOVIES TRILOGY~

Now funny enough, I really don’t remember ever seeing these movies as a kid, though it’s possible I did and just maybe blocked the memory, but I highly doubt it... So yeah, I saw these movies as an adult already. The first is praised by most fans, and honestly, I can see why: it’s pretty good! :D The acting is very decent and the humour’s brilliant! The two sequels... not so much but still okay. ;) Where they sit with me... Not too far on the ladder again I’m afraid. :/ While I do really enjoy and appreciate the acting and that humour (”I made a funny.” X’D) it mostly comes down to the Turtles designs again... I really can’t see past them being actors in costumes rather than characters. :’( Granted, good actors. ;) And heck, Jim Henson did a phenomenal job! They’re just not really the movies for me is all, even if I do go back and watch ‘em every now and then. X’D I do however melt every time at the scene in the first movie where Raph wakes up in the bath and Leo’s there and apologizing and all... Makes me all gooey inside! X’D The feels are real! Speaking of Leo, though, he sounds even younger than Mikey. Small nitpick, that, but... why? X’D

But yeah, let’s just say, they’re good movies, just, not my favs.

Also, Coming Out Of Their Shells tour... Yeah, I’m gonna just... pretend that doesn’t exist for a minute. 

THE NEXT MUTATION~

Nope.

Saw one ep as a kid and am not interested in seeing anymore.

Although, VA Matt Hill voices Raph. That’s one good thing.

2003/2k3~

Well it wasn’t already apparent by my avatar... Ladies and gents, I present to you... My fav TMNT verse to date! Oh my goodness, where do I even begin with this delicious series?! :D Firstly, animation: so appealing, comic book-y style! Their designs: without sounding pervy, veeeeeeeery appealing (hehehehehe), no seriously, they sometimes have a bitta bulk to them but it honestly works, and dem muscles, and the cool eyes! The VAs: spot on! Perfect! Wouldn’t have ‘em any other way! Make me melt, Mr. Michael Sinterniklaas~ (cough) Their personalities: Omgosh, just yes! So perfect! They’re easily differentiated and yet still work together so well. Leo’s mature and level-headed (well, most of the time ;P ) yet still gets tested a lot and even has a fun side that’s shown on occasion. Raph’s grouchy and violent but is shown on more than one occasion that’s he’s total softie and really does care. Don’s just a sweetheart and freakishly smart and even has slips ups from time to time. Mikey... omgosh, best Mikey ever! So much fun! So hilarious! And just a bundle of energy, but not at all an idiot like he’s sometimes portrayed in other verses. He’s witty, mischievous and just so adorable! Heck, even Master Splinter, April, Casey, the lot of them are just awesome in this series! And wow, they really do lean more towards the source material (or so I’m told) when it comes to the plots! It’s darker than the other previous verses yet still remaining kid-friendly (although I question it at times XD) and omgosh, it’s just everything I want in a TMNT universe! Granted, it’s not perfect perfect, but it nailed it for me. ;) It really showed so lovely character developments, alsortsa different genres, the humour will leave you in stitches, the Turts are all just so lovable, I can’t get enough of them! This series was really my high point and I’ve yet to find one that tops it~

Btw, this even includes Fast Forward and Back to the Sewer (BTTS). The former being my least fav of the series simply due to the setting and again, it’s just preference. I even liked BTTS, even though I’m not overly fond of a cyberspace setting, but I found myself really liking the art style and the general plot. :D 

2007/2k7~

As with the last, if you’ve picked up on the page’s header/banner, you’d have probably guessed that the 2007 movie is also a good candidate for one my favs... And you’d be correct. ;) I’m actually very fond of this movie, and it’s largely due to the Turtles designs. I love how they were done! They just look so cool! <3 Subtle differences tell the viewer who’s who even if they didn’t have a mask or weapons. The VAs were also pretty good~ Now, the story isn’t the greatest, I’ll admit. Personally I thought it was okay, but know many fans think otherwise. But I did like the confrontation between Leo and Raph! It got real there, peeps! :O Now here’s also where it falls a little on its face for me: I didn’t really like how they handled Leo’s personality (if you haven’t already picked up on it, yes, I’m a Leo fangirl and I’m picky when it comes to how they handle his personality) but it’s a nitpick again, yet, I still feel compelled to state my opinion: the whole “I’m better than you.” comment really took me back and made me think they pushed it. I honestly like to believe he’d never actually say something like that... at least, 2003!Leo wouldn’t. X’D But that’s just my problem: I’m comparing a different verse’s Leo to this one and whether I like it or not, he said it. :/ Oh well, it still made for some fun action scenes and I’ll still always like the movie.

Bit of a goof on my side: I honestly thought that this movie was made to tie in with the 2003!verse due to the timeline in which it was produced, but turns out, it’s actually closer to the 1990′s timeline although still considered it’s own verse.

2012/2k12~

Oooh boy, lemme prepare for the backlash real quick... I’m uhhhh... not a fan of these boys. :/ I don’t mind them, but I’m honestly never gonna watch the series again. It’s hard to top your fav when you’ve kinda already hit your high point, ya know. Now before you light your torches and sharpen your pitchforks, hear me out: I will never bash the series, or make fun of anyone who likes it! Or anything to that extent! It’s just wasn’t for me, plain and simple, and it’s got nothing to do with it being ‘new’ or I’m just an old fart stuck in my ways. Heck, If you’re still reading, you would’ve found out that even nostalgia couldn’t beat the series that grasped me in my teens! So no, it has nothing to do with age. But if you do need a reason: I wasn’t overly fond of how they handle the characters. For one, they look and act a bit too young, Mikey is just... wow, something else. Donnie’s... sheesh, pretty snappy and antagonising. Raph’s well... okay, he’s meant to be angry half the time, and they did give him some more layers with Spike and Mona Lisa and whatnot, but he still kinda never learns his lesson if I can say that? He’ll learn that he shouldn’t cause issues with others, yet next episode he’s back at it again. :/ Leo’s... wow, just not like other Leos. X’D Best way I can describe him is... young? Very childlike. And even when he was progressing to becoming this better leader, I honestly couldn’t even see the change. My mind was just stuck on this “He’s a babeh.” notion. Also, I’m not even gonna start on this April and Casey. Just. No. Most of the characters were annoying and I just kept seeing recycled plot after plot. What I did like was the romance that blossomed between Raph and Mona (albeit far too rushed) and even Donnie liking April was adorable (but seriously Donnie, you can do so much better), and there were some really heartfelt moments, like Splinter telling Leo to leo his brothers with his heart and not his head, and the scenes when they were Tots will always make me squeal... But yeah... without leaving any spoilers.... about Splinter... just... thanks, Nickelodeon. Y’all know what I mean. Not once... But twice.... Really? So yeah, look, I realized some of those reasons might even be petty, but again, it’s just not the series for me, but anyone who’s a fan... You keep being a fan! ;) I’m glad you can enjoy something I can’t. ;)

2014/2k14/2016/2k16 AKA BAYVERSE~

HAHA~ Every fan’s favorite... If only. X’D Jokes aside, despite many fans claiming the Bay movies ruined the franchise, these two films gathered a small following... And I’m apart of it. :) Funny enough, I honestly didn’t know what to think of them when the movie first came out. I think I was just taken aback by the sheer amount of detail and all that went into their designs. I didn’t not like them, but again, their designs were a lot to take in. :O Even now after seeing the movies quite a few times over, I find myself constantly discovering something I didn’t notice on them before, be it a strap or a scar etc. And it honestly took some getting use to their sizes, I mean, sheesh! :O Not to mention the different background story, and Megan Fox’s wooden, expressionless acting, but despite all that... I found myself actually growing attached to these hulks of Turtles. They still have a lot of that heart in them and plus they’re just so much fun, I mean, can we say ‘Elevator scene’? X’D Now again, not perfect by anys mean, but still fun and pretty decent incarnations to add to the franchise. Again, Leo’s been given this ‘Better than you’ a bit which irked me to be frank. Not always but it’s there sometimes, but otherwise alright. Raph’s a decent Raph. Even had some tender moments. Donnie’s adorable! X’D This slightly potty mouthed geek that you just gotta love. And Mikey... although given that bitta ‘idiot’ feel, is also just as lovable and you want to hug him every time he’s onscreen! 

In short, I like ‘em. :) They’re actually closer to the top of the ladder than some others.

RISE OF THE TMNT/ROTTMNT/2018/2K18~

Yeeeeeeeeuuuuuuh... no. Sorry. Not for me. :/ Again, gonna remind y’all, nothing to do with age. Nothing to do with change. I will say that the fluid animation is nice, and the fact that they chose 2D animation. :) Buuuuuut, wow, they were certainly a lot to take in. Almost as much as Bay’s Turtles. After watching a few eps, I will conclude that they really just aren’t what I’m looking for. I found that the constant joking, while sometimes funny, got a little bit much, plus such short eps. Raph being leader was a switch and one that took awhile to get use to and honestly, I’m just not for it, I don’t even know where to begin with Donnie, Mikey’s okay, Leo... (deep breath) I don’t know what they were thinking... Let’s not even go to Master Splinter. But anyways, I get that change was what they were going for and that it was more so based on the 1987 toon with the silliness so that’s fine. I’m glad it’s got so many fans. :) And honestly, I wanna end off just by saying...

That no matter what your thoughts on what I’ve said, I hope you can respect my opinions and choices cause at the end of the day, they’re just my own, and I will always respect yours! :D If you adore the verses I’m not too crazy about, that’s great! :D I want you all to love the heck out of them! And honestly, this is what’s so great about this franchise: there are so many verses to choose from! So many options and tastes to suit any and all! You don’t have to follow the masses! You go enjoy whichever incarnation(s) you want to! ;) 

And there we have it, my first fandom bloggy thingy~ Hope there’ll be many more where that came from! :D

This is Drag0n-Mistr3ss signing off~

[douxreviews]

Cloak & Dagger - ‘Shadow Selves’ Review

"What if I just want to hurt people?"

Well, this one certain gives us a few things to unpack.

Cloak and Dagger catches up with some supporting characters, while bringing us up to speed on what Mayhem has been up to since last season's finale. Oh, and gives us a mediation on the essential nature of self, as you do.

The 'shadow self,' according to Jungian philosophy, are those parts of one's personality that you reject or choose to not know about. That's a horrific oversimplification, and I apologize to any psychology students who might be reading this. It's not really my field. I had to google just to confirm that much.

Most obviously this is a reference to Brigid and Mayhem, implying that Mayhem is that shadow self that Brigid has always had inside of her, neatly separated off into its own body. I believe there was a Star Trek episode where something similar happened to Kirk, but it was a little less... let's be polite and say 'nuanced,' than what we get here.

Actually, the Star Trek comparison is useful here, particularly when compared to the explanation that Mina gives us in this episode. Since I'm going to actually talk about it, I've felt obligated to look up what it was called, and it's 'The Enemy Within,' for anyone wondering who didn't already know. Additional apologies to Star Trek fans for the oversimplification I'm about to launch into. Fans of both Jung and original series Trek, please contact me directly and I'll send you an apology fruit basket or something.

In 'Enemy Within,' Kirk is split into 'good Kirk' and 'evil Kirk,' and the point is very much that even good people have bad stuff in them and it's a character study of who Kirk is as a complete character. That being the purpose of the experiment, one Kirk is very definitely 'good,' and the other definitely 'evil.' In 'Shadow Selves,' Mina describes the process that's been splitting her test mice into two, and therefore by proxy what's happened to Brigid, as resulting in one version of the self with no activity in the brain's rage center, and the other version having activity only in the rage center. Your basic Hulk scenario.

But neither of those descriptions fit what we actually see of Mayhem's character this week.

Mayhem isn't full of rage, particularly. She's task-oriented and happy to kill people she views as 'bad,' but that's not at all the same thing. If anything, Mayhem is a much better cop than Brigid. Sure, her first instinct is to track down and kill her other half, but she gets distracted almost immediately by wanting revenge on the guy she was already looking to get revenge on before the personality split, and then never shows an inclination to kill Brigid again, despite the half a dozen times this episode alone in which she could have done so.

Great job to the showrunners for the Mayhem backstory we get tonight, and the way it pulls a lot of the pieces of this season's plot together. Mayhem starts with wanting revenge on Connors, isn't able to find him, and then decides that since she wants to kill people anyway she should focus on finding bad people to kill, becoming Dexter with Day-glo fingernail polish. Plus, she's clearly capable of being thoughtful and kind, as shown in her comment about Ty being her friend. It was nice that Delgado gives her the advice that pushes her in the direction of punishing the guilty, by the way. Put a pin in Delgado, we'll circle back to him in a minute, but there's one last point about Mayhem that I want to touch on before we move on.

This show is one of the rare examples in which every single change they've made to the source material has made the show stronger. The exception, as I've said before, being not having Ty stutter, but that's more of a practical consideration, so we'll let that slide. In the comics, Mayhem is essentially what you'd get if Toxic Avenger and the Punisher made a beautiful love child, but having Mayhem and Brigid be two separate beings who share Brigid's memories and thought processes was a brilliant move and is really paying off for them. The way that Mayhem clearly wants Tandy to side with her and be her partner on the investigation is just one aspect of the overall impression that what Mayhem really wants is to prove that she's better than Brigid, and that's fascinating. I can't wait to see where this is going.

But Brigid isn't the only one whose darker side has come to the fore here, and now we get back to Formerly-Father Delgado. Wow, was I not prepared for how dark they went with Delgado. I questioned last season why they threw in such a randomly dark note as the reveal that Delgado had killed a kid while driving drunk, but now I think they were just preparing us for this next stage in his character development. I don't have a ton to say about drunk street preaching nihilist Delgado except that I'm impressed that they went there, and it was nicely handled how he factored into Mayhem's evolution from seeking vengeance to becoming an actually effective rescuer of human trafficking victims. That was not where I saw any of that going.

And last but not least, Ty and Tandy continue their promised power-up. Tandy's ball of light which lit up the whole warehouse was cool looking, but my inner fangirl nearly passed out with joy when Ty finally unveiled his full body of darkness effect and then we got to witness firsthand someone inside the dark realm of his cloak being tormented by visions. Now all I need to die happy is for Tandy to ride 'inside' him to crime scenes and leap out throwing light knives.

Bits and Pieces:

-- The debate between Ty and Tandy as to whether they should just step back and let Mayhem kill the human traffickers had valid points all around. Generally speaking, I'd put myself on team 'yes, please murder the human traffickers' but Ty's concerns about the victims being collateral damage was fair. That said, I did not feel bad when Mayhem ran that one over with a truck.

-- Mayhem climbed out of the lake 242 days earlier, so Evita's statement last week that it had been eight months was more or less on the nose.

-- The extremely mini story-arc of Dale, the skeezy desk clerk at the transient hotel, was a thing of beauty. From creeping on Mayhem, to backing away, to the obedient puddle he'd become by the time Brigid came to find the hotel was just perfection. This show really does understated very well.

-- Haven't we all wanted to beat up a refrigerator?

-- Oh Mina Hess, I'm so glad that you're OK. Mina has apparently now added microbiolical bio-chemistry and behavioral research fellow to her already impressive track list of Structural Engineer, Thermodynamics expert, plumber, renewable energy expert, and about twelve other unrelated specialties. At this point I think it's best to view Mina like Reed Richards, i.e. all purpose science-y person who knows all the science-y stuff when it's needed. Plus just maybe she'll encourage a few more girls to pursue STEM careers, and that's a good enough goal in its own right.

-- Today I learned that SRO stands for 'single room occupancy,' a type of hotel that in a less dignified age I would have referred to as a flophouse.

-- Tandy mentions in passing that she and Mina have kept in touch. I feel like we were cheated out of a few highly entertaining explanation scenes.

-- Special shout out to Emma Lahana for the physical work she's doing to differentiate Brigid and Mayhem. Mayhem moves in a very distinctive shoulder forward way, which is very different from how Brigid walks. It's a nice, subtle detail, and should be praised.

-- Apparently I was overcomplicating the kidnapped girl plot last week. They seem to just be human traffickers who panicked and let Mikayla go because Ty had suddenly appeared in their ambulance so they had to cover their tracks. I kind of appreciate the show letting me work that out for myself.

-- 'The Glitter Gutter' is a great name for a strip club.

Quotes:

Mina: "Don’t worry, these cosmetics were tested on humans."

Brigid: "She’s not me." Tandy: "She’s got your face and she’s got your badge."

Dale: "No one went in your room. I didn’t mean to make eye contact, I’m sorry."

Tandy: "What is this?" Brigid: "This is Mayhem."

Mayhem: "And in another lifetime, Ty was a friend. At least he was to me, I don’t know if he’d say the same."

Tandy: "Hey Ty, look. Ya got a deranged map twin."

Mayhem: "You don’t get to play the victim. (Slashes his throat) Well, now I suppose you can."

Fuchs: "Who’s up for Awkward reunion pancakes?"

Lots of good stuff here, with only a couple of awkward plot contrivances to really criticize. For example, it's a little hard to swallow that Brigid being pulled from the lake would make breaking citywide news under those circumstances. Still, if that's the show's biggest sin, my shadow self is happy.

Three and a half out of four shadow dimensions.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[drabblers]

Three months late

Prompt: Mystique Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin Setting:  Modern AU, Actors. This is part two continuation for the one-shot: “A Comedy of Romance.” The last part was “Goodbyes aren’t always final“. Characters: Kenshin Himura, Kaoru Kamiya, Misao Makimachi  Word count: 3307

<…and if you would like to see more about my interpretation of the character, I would be pleased to do also demos from other scenes. Looking forward to hearing back from you. Respectfully yours, Kamiya Kaoru.>

Kaoru frowned at the email she had written, gnawing on her bottom lip thoughtfully. No, it was as good as it could get, she decided and pressed send. The email left, leaving her to stare at her depressingly empty inbox. Twenty-two applications send, only two replies – and both of them nicely worded versions of “sorry, not interested.”

It sucked to be an actress between jobs, with no good prospects waiting.

True, it was the same for all the starting actors and yes, she knew the industry was extremely competitive. But still, if she just got a chance, a real chance to play a significant role in an action movie… She sighed deeply. Sometimes her dream just felt too distant. Unreachable. Like a mission impossible. But Kenshin had told her that she just had to keep trying and to differentiate herself from her competition the best she could. For example, when she had an option to choose scenes to do a demo for, she should select ones that suited her strengths instead of going for the popular choices.

The thought of Kenshin drove her to check her mailbox’s spam folder, just out of habit. Ads for sunglasses, bags, online shop adds, and nothing else. Just typical.

It had been twelve weeks since the last shooting day party, since that night with Kenshin… since he had left for the Gobi desert. She hadn’t heard anything from him since then. No phone call. No email. No message. Nothing. His shoots for his next movie had supposed to take six to eight weeks, but now… it had been three months. Had she just dreamed that night? Maybe she had been too drunk and just come up with this elaborate make-believe memory and fooled herself into believing that Himura Kenshin had asked her to date him?

Or maybe, there was no self-deceit or mystique to it at all and it was like Misao said, that her co-actor had just made promises to get into her pants and after he had succeeded, he had fucked off to his merry ways and left her reeling.

She shook her head.

No, Kenshin wouldn’t do that. He was not the sleazy type, thank you very much. Which she had tried to explain to Misao as well – but given that her secrecy contract forbid her from mentioning Kenshin’s name until it was officially announced – her explanations had fallen on flat ears.

Kaoru groaned to her hands. She was frustrated and angry at herself, at Misao and most of all – at Kenshin. Why hadn’t he contacted her? It was the Gobi desert, not Mars! They had some form of communication down there, hadn’t they? Even if they didn’t have reliable phone lines or internet, there had to be old-fashioned snail mail or a courier or... something? Surely, If he wanted to, he had to have some way of contacting her?

…If he wanted to.

Gods, that was the one thing the devil on her shoulder kept whispering her. That she had understood the whole dating thing wrong and it was like Misao claimed, that he had just wanted one night’s fun.

No. Nope. She slapped her cheek, as if to drive away the poisonous thought, and rose, heading to her kitchen. Misao should be coming back any minute now and she had promised to cook tonight. Nothing fancy. Just something simple even a kitchen disaster like her could throw on a frying pan and call it dinner.

She lived in a two bedroom apartment in downtown Tokyo with her roommate since University days, Misao Makimachi. It was a useful arrangement for both of them. After all, freelance reporters and actresses shared the same problem: they got paid per project basis.

Kaoru had just gotten the frozen dinner on a pan when out of a sudden, the doorbell rang.

“Wait a minute!” Kaoru yelled, dumping tofu and frozen vegetables on a pan and setting to heat to hot. It should take several minutes to warm up anyways. She huffed, sweeping her hair aside and looked down at her comfortable pajamas. She had not bothered to dress up for the day, after all, it wasn’t like she was going anywhere. Should she change clothes to answer the door? Nah, no need. It was just Misao.

The doorbell rang again.

Kaoru growled. Seriously! Was Misao carrying something large, or just being lazy that she was not using her own keys to open the door?

She pulled the door open, about to say something rude but the words died on her tongue and she blanched in realization…

...and slammed the door shut right in front of his face.

———————————————–

“Oro?” Kenshin blurted, too stunned for more cohere words.

Something slammed against the door with a thud. Her back? Then, her shaky inhale echoed in the silence.

Kenshin lowered his hand and wetted his lips. “Miss Kaoru…?”

“Why didn’t you send a message?” She asked softly. “Even a letter? You had to have some form of communication available, even down there in the middle of nowhere.”

“I… I, ah… Um, one is sorry, that he is.”

“Sorry…?” She asked, taking a pointed pause. “I waited for you. Week, four weeks… twelve weeks and nothing.”

There was hurt in her tone: bewilderment, pain… but also anger. Kenshin squeezed his hands to a tight fist. God dammit! He should have known that man couldn’t keep things professional between them.

He took an inhale, finally gathering himself enough to speak. “This one did send you messages. Every day, in fact. But it seems that they got lost in transit, that they did. This one is sorry, that he is. Miss Kaoru – please, forgive this one.”

Clothes rustled, and something hit the door – her fist? No, her forehead?

He heard her drawn breath. “What happened?” She asked, her voice wavering only a little. “If what you say is true, how can you lose over a  hundred messages?”

“That’s… Um, it’s a long story. A very personal story, that it is.” Kenshin cringed. “But in essence, this one’s interpreter… well, Enishi has a reason for being angry with this one, but this one honestly assumed that he could put his feelings aside and maintain a professional relationship.”

“…your interpreter?”

“Err, yes,” Kenshin said. “This one doesn’t speak Chinese – more than few words, that is – and whenever one does movies with Chinese one needs help with the language.”

The lock twisted, and she opened the door.

He stared at her, drinking in every detail of her. Her hair was in a messy bun, and she was wearing her pajamas and under her eyes, she had dark spots, like she had been trouble sleeping. Yet, despite everything, she looked like home and something in his chest ached. He wanted nothing more than to pull her close and tell her how he had missed her.

“Let me get this straight,” she started, gnawing on her bottom lip. “Your interpreter had a grudge against you? And he took it out by not sending your messages? Did the guy never want to have work in the industry or what?”

“Um, that’s… well, most likely he knew this one wouldn’t rat on him.” Kenshin hazarded, “As this one said, Enishi has a good reason for his anger, that he has. You see, this one, well, one was, but...” He stopped abruptly and looked aside, clearly trying to find the words but failing miserably.

She blinked slowly. “Um…”

Instead of continuing his stammering, Kenshin shook his head and dug into his shoulder bag and pulled out a stack of letters with a huge red stamp with Japanese text for "Return to sender" on them. “This one picked these up at the mail office in China. See the address?”

She took the stack gingerly, turning the unopened stack of letters in her hands. “That’s my name but… what the hell?”

“Enishi did send the letters as this one instructed him to, that he did. He just misspelled the address and when the letters did not reach a proper destination, they were returned to China – and given the distances, this one only found out about this last week, that one did. Note how small the error is?”

“Are you sure it was deliberate?” She asked. “I mean, even to me – it looks like a human error.”

Kenshin exhaled, relieved that she seemed to believe him. “I… Well, could this one come in?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder where a neighbor was peeking from the doorway. “One will tell you, but as it relates to personal history, one would prefer to keep it between the two of us, that he would.”

Miss Kaoru followed his gaze and blanched. “Err, yes – of course.”

She opened the door, wordlessly inviting him in… into an apartment with visible puffs of smoke floating around.

Kenshin stared. “Um-“

Which was, of course, the moment when the fire alarm blared to life, filling the apartment with ear-splitting beeping.

“Oh fuck.” Miss Kaoru said, pressing her hands to her ears. “Wait here!”

And she ran off to where the smoke was coming from.

Too curious to his own good, Kenshin followed her to – kitchen? Miss Kaoru had pushed a frying pan onto the kitchen sink with its contents and all and was staring at the fire alarm fixated to her ceiling like she wanted to smash it to pieces.

No wonder why, like him – she was on the shorter side and the kitchen did not have a convenient a ladder or step-stool. Well, not a stool most people would use to reach high places.

Kenshin grinned and without a second thought, grabbed a chair from next to her small dining table, stepped on its seat, tilted it on two legs and climbed to stand on the backrest, balancing it while reaching to the offending fire alarm.

And there!

Blessed silence.

Miss Kaoru stared up at him, her mouth falling open. “So you really do your own stunts—“

Kenshin covered his mouth with his hand, but couldn’t quite contain his snort in time.

She pouted at him.

And then he really couldn’t help it, but burst into laughter. Gods, her expression! He knew it wasn’t polite – no, it was downright rude but she had an unparalleled ability to make him laugh and forget his worries and stress. It was amazing. Just for that, he would have fallen in love with her…

“Mou! It’s not that funny,” she grumbled. “And get down here before you fall down, break your neck and force me to cart you down to hospital.”

“Sorry,” He straightened and jumped down. “It just seemed to be the fastest way to solve the problem, that it was.”

“I was not complaining.” She grumbled, turning to the offending attempt at dinner.

“Kaoru…”

———————————————————

His voice was soft, gentle when he whispered those syllables. He always said: Miss. He had never called her by her bare name. A shiver raced down her spine and something fluttered at the pit of her belly.

She didn’t turn around. Because if she did… she wasn’t sure what she would do.

Footsteps behind her, and then he stopped, close enough that his breath tingled at her neck. “I… This one missed you.”

She swallowed. “I missed you too.”

He laid his chin on her shoulder, resting his arms around her waist. Not forceful. He was simply there. Warm. Solid. And there. For her. She inhaled deeply, turned around in his embrace and asked, “are we still dating?”

“I… This one…” He frowned. “Aren’t we?” He finally asked. “One means, if you don’t want to…”

“I do!” She hurried to assure him. “I want to. I just, it happened so soon an then I didn’t hear anything from you-“

“One is sorry about that, but there was-“

“I believe you,” Kaoru hurried to interrupt him. “I know you said the whole thing with messages and interpreter spiraled out of your control and I want to know all about it, but before that… I just, are you sure that you want to date? With me?”

He blinked slowly. “Why wouldn’t one want to date with you?”

She looked aside, gnawing on her bottom lip. “It’s, well, you are you and I am…“ She waved her hand, directing his gaze to take note of the apartment’s small kitchen and all signs of student lifestyle style therein. The difference to the standards he was used to had to be obvious. After all, even when discounting the fact that he was a celebrity, he was exceedingly well of man and she… she was just a rookie actress starting in her career with a whole bunch of student loans to pay for.

He took his time studying her apartment from his spot, still holding her in his embrace. Finally, he noted out loud, “It’s homely, that it is. A lot cozier than the apartment this one used to live when he was just starting out, that it is.” He smiled at her, a hint of mischief sparkling in the corner of his eye. “Did you know, this one afforded to purchase a futon only after the Legend of Hitokiri Battousai was published and started breaking the box office records? Before that, one used to sleep curled against the wall.”

“…huh?” Kaoru gaped. “You mean…”

He shrugged. “This one knows very well how difficult it is to start out in this career, that he does.” He drew his arms a little tighter around her and looked at her seriously. “One knows how very proud and self-reliant you are, that one does. But if you ever feel that you could accept introductions or some other assistance one could offer…”

“No!” She yelped. “No, I’m fine. Thanks for offering though.” She mumbled, feeling the heat to rise to her cheeks. Gods, did he think she was asking for help? She wasn’t about to take advantage of him! “I was just…” She paused, and thought through what she had been about to ask which really came down to the question: are you sure that am I good enough for you? And suddenly, she felt very stupid. “It’s nothing”. She mumbled, pressing her face into his shoulder.

The whole time she had known him, Kenshin had been very consistent in his appreciation of her. His glances at her, his constant smiles, the way he always took her questions and concerns seriously and offered any help he could… No, even if she had no idea why he had decided to like her, it was obvious that he did enjoy her company.

“Kaoru…” He hesitated. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” She mumbled. “I just feel stupid, that’s all.”

He huffed fondly, stroking her cheek, wordlessly asking her to look up. “You are amazing.” He smiled. “You are funny, charismatic and if one could, one would never again leave your side.”

That last line! Only he could repeat his character’s line at her like they hadn’t spoken those words to each other in front of cameras and five dozen people three months ago!

She grinned, and replied her part, “Then stay.” And rose on tiptoes to kiss him.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, drawing her to his embrace like they had never parted. They kissed and kissed each other again…

“Kaoru, you are never gonna believe this, but the neighbor’s old lady said she saw…“ A female voice called out, only to turn to a shriek: “Oh my god.”

A shopping bag dropped to the floor.

Kaoru froze and turned to look at her roommate staring at them. Blushing, Kaoru untangled herself from Kenshin’s embrace and swallowed, “Um… Hi, Misao-chan.”

“Kaoru, you…” Her roommate stared. “That’s…”

Kenshin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Um... Hi, I don’t believe that Miss Kaoru has mentioned me.” He smiled awkwardly, stepped closer to Misao and offered his hand for a handshake, “I am Kaoru’s colleague, Himura Kenshin, that I am. It’s nice to meet you.”

Misao took his hand and shook it. “Uh, Misao. Makimachi. I have heard quite a bit about you.”

“You have?” Kenshin asked, guileless.

“Uh huh.” Misao nodded, her eyes lighting up with unholy glee. “But more importantly, what was with that kiss? Do you kiss all your colleagues like that?”

Kaoru felt like face-palming. “Misao…”

“Hey, hey,” Misao protested. “It’s a valid question! A girl’s gotta know these things.”

Kenshin stiffened. “Uh… No. That’s not the case, that it isn’t.”

“Then, what’s with the kiss?” Misao’s smile had teeth. “Because if you step in Kaoru’s life just when it suits you and end up hurting my friend…”

Kenshin looked at Kaoru, a question in his eyes. Clearly, he wasn’t about to say anything if she wasn’t okay with it.

Kaoru’s heart melted. She smiled, and stepped to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist. “We are dating.” She said to her friend. “It’s a little bit sensitive information, so please could you keep it to yourself?”

Misao blinked. “Okay, if you say so… but, uh, what about the three-month long disappearing act? Weren’t you angry about that?”

Now Kaoru did cover her eyes and groaned into her palm. How often had she talked, ranted and whined about her mysterious colleague that had left of to shoot his film in China during the last three months to Misao? She couldn’t even venture a guess. “Yes I was, but there was a bit of trouble with the interpreter and...” She trailed off, noting how tense Kenshin seemed to be. Hadn’t he said it was private? Given his habit of understating things, it really had to be something he wasn't comfortable at speaking about. She looked at Kenshin and said decisively, “It’s all fine now.”

He shot her a relieved little smile that spoke more than a thousand words.

She had made the right choice then. She exhaled in relief, spun around and grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter. “But before that, perhaps we could order something to eat?”

Misao glanced at the kitchen sink. “Don’t tell me you burned the dinner again.”

“This time it wasn’t my fault!” Kaoru protested, holding out her phone. “Is Chinese fine for everyone?” She froze, realizing the faux pas as soon as she said it. He has just been three months in China. He had to be sick and tired of Chinese after that.

Kenshin grinned sheepishly. “Or perhaps this one could cook?” He volunteered. “You seemed to have planned on having a homemade meal tonight.”

Kaoru’s stare turned to shock.

Even Misao boggled. “You cook…?”

“Sure,” Kenshin quipped back and leaned down to gather the groceries Misao had dropped to the floor.

“Kenshin…” Kaoru hesitated.

“It’s fine.” He smiled at her. “This one enjoys cooking. It’s one of his hobbies even to this day, that it is. Besides, one did interrupt your cooking rather badly, that one did...”

"That's..." Kaoru cringed.

"Please, Miss Kaoru." Kenshin smiled at her. "Let this one do this small thing for you."

What could she say to that? Wordless, Kaoru nodded at him.

In silence, She and Misao settled down to sit around the dinner table and stare the spectacle of international action mega-star, Himura Kenshin unpacking Misao's groceries with quiet efficiency, and them rummaging through their fridge, pantry, and freezer for supplies to cook a dinner for them.

It was quite obvious that he knew what he was doing.

Kaoru gnawed on her bottom lip in silence, and Misao leaned over to whisper to her ear. “Forget everything I said and hold to him for your life. You and him... It's obviously a match made in heaven.”

AN: Happy new year!

[magickmoons]

famous!Dean part 2

continuation of this fic -- this is what’s going on with Cas that evening.

Cas entered the lecture hall with his eyes glued to the journal article opened precariously on top of his stack of class materials. He wore the title of absent-minded professor proudly, and students and faculty who frequented the building generally knew to give him a wide berth. He was a few steps into the room before he realized that something felt different. Placing his papers carefully on the desk, he looked up to find nearly every seat filled. Not that he didn't find his subject fascinating, but even if everyone registered for this section showed up, they still wouldn't fill more than half the hall.

He blinked at the expectant faces and thought about asking what was going on, but then decided it was probably some bizarre campus game he wouldn't understand -- like that zombie war last spring.

So instead, he launched immediately into his lecture. He paced as he spoke, watching his audience. It was easy enough to differentiate who was there for the material vs. those who had just shown up, although a fair amount of his students seemed unusually distracted as well.

As he came to the end of his planned remarks, he leaned against the edge of his desk.

"Any questions?"

Dozens of hands shot up eagerly. Okay, something really weird is going on today.

"Do you really know Dean Winchester?"

Castiel tried to ignore the crushing feeling in his chest that still appeared when someone mentioned that name -- even after all these years.

"I ... yes, I did; but I meant questions about the material."

All the hands went down.

What the hell? Why is this coming up now? Has something happened to Dean?  

"What's he like?" someone called out from the rear of the hall, when no one asked on topic.

"It was a long time ago," he said stiffly. Too long, or not long enough, Cas was never sure. "I'm sure anything I could tell you would no longer be relevant."

"You've changed, Dean."

"You bet your ass I changed. I'm finally free. And you're the same small town kid with a stick up your ass."

Cas swallowed roughly. "Perhaps it's best to end here today."

A chorus of groans met his pronouncement.

"For those of you actually in this class, please read the next two chapters in your text by our next meeting. Office hours as normal this week -- only for course-related discussions." He kept his eyes fixed on his hands as he stacked up his notes and fled the room chased by the memory of sparkling green eyes and a beautiful smile turned cold and mocking.

Back in the quiet, controlled chaos that was his office, he ran through some breathing exercises to calm himself. No meditation he'd ever tried had managed to completely erase the memories of Dean -- the good or the bad -- but he'd found that it was helpful when he felt overwhelmed.

Somewhat calmer, he decided to be responsible and check his email before allowing himself to do an internet search on Dean. It had taken a long time before he'd finally managed to stop googling Dean's name every day; he wasn't going to change that now. Even if something had happened, it couldn't have any possible impact on him. Their lives had been separate for nearly 15 years.

As he read email, the phone rang. He answered absently.

"This is Bela Talbot with the Enquirer. I have some questions for Dr. Castiel Novak."

With half his attention still on his email, he suddenly realized that he'd only caught about a couple words of what his caller had said.

"I'm sorry. What is your inquiry?"

A suggestively feminine laugh answered him. "About Dean Winchester, Dr. Novak. I understand you two were involved."

Dean again. "I'm afraid I can't give you any useful information. I haven't spoken with Dean for years."

"Oh, that's fine. This is background for a story. For instance, was Dean faithful to you?"

Cas froze. How did she know? "What? I ... " What did she know? Abandoning his email, he quickly pulled up a browser window and typed Dean's name into the search bar.

"I mean," she continued as if musing to herself, "an affair with a married man doesn't look very good. I'm trying to get a feel for Dean's character."

"Dean wouldn't ... I mean, that is... " Cas trailed off, unable to finish his thought. Certainly the Dean had gone to high school with, fallen in love with would never have engaged in an adulterous relationship -- especially not after seeing how his father's affair had impacted two families -- but then he'd moved to California to pursue his acting dream. Cas had limited experience with CaliforniaDean, and what little he did have did nothing to suggest that Dean put the same emphasis on fidelity that he once had.

"Hmmm," Bela purred. "Sounds like you might have some useful information after all. I can fly out there tonight and meet with you first thing tomorrow morning."

"What? No, I --" He stared at the search results on the screen. Most were articles about Dean's apparently recent public admission of his bisexuality, but several implied, or outright stated, that Dean was having an affair with Benny Lafitte.

"It's no problem, Dr. Novak. Of course, you would be compensated for your time. And then you can tell me all about what Dean did to you that has you so spun about."

Fuck. Oh fuck. She said she was a reporter, didn't she?

"I would like this to be off the record." That was something he didn't think he'd ever say in his life.

"Certainly, Dr. Novak. Everything from this point on is off the record."

His heart sank. "No, I ... "

"Thank you for your time."

He put the phone down and clicked into one of the articles alleging that Benny Lafitte was cheating on his wife. He scanned it quickly. There was lots of crap about how everyone knew that the happily married image Benny presented was faked, how he'd been too wild in his youth to have truly settled down. A couple of screens down was a photo of Dean and Benny at a pool: Dean was leaning back against Benny's chest as they lounged on a small couch, and he had tilted his head back to meet Benny's lips in a gentle kiss.

Cas chuckled sadly when he realized that the timing of the photo was all wrong for the article's premise. One look at Dean's face told him that it had been taken only a year or two after that night -- well before the article indicated that Benny had met his wife. He stared at the photo; Dean looked so calm and content and healthy, so different from the last time they had met. Obviously, he had cleaned up his act by the time this photo had been taken. Cas had always suspected that Dean hadn't continued down that path of self-destruction -- he'd never heard any reports of arrests or other troubles -- but it was good to see that he had found some measure of peace, even if it made Cas's heart ache that he had not been the one to provide it.

"So, is this just another crazy campus rumor, or did you really date the Dean Winchester and just never saw fit to mention it to your bestest bud."

Cas jumped when Gabriel's voice cut through his musings. He looked up to see his friend leaning against the door jamb, eyebrows raised.

"It was a long time ago." Cas started shutting down his computer. "And it ended ... badly. I prefer not to think about it."

The phone rang, and Castiel stared at it apprehensively. It rang again.

"Aren't you going to answer it?"

"I'm afraid it will be that Bela woman again." He pushed the button to send his calls to voicemail and the ringing stopped. With a frown, he sorted through his notebooks, trying to remember what he had wanted to take home for the night.

"Bela who?"

"Um ... Talbot, I think she said. A reporter of some sort."

Gabriel slid off the wall to stand up straight. "Wait a minute. Bela Talbot called you? About the Winchester thing?" Gabriel shook his head, chuckling. "And you have no idea who she is, do you?"

Cas zipped up his bag. "No, I don't. Just that she wanted to talk about Dean. And Me. Dean and me."

"I bet. She is the queen of salacious gossip columns. She will dig up and air anyone's dirty laundry provided the money's right. And you talked to her?"

"I did, but I can't remember if I said anything ... 'salacious.'" An unsettled feeling came over him as he listened to Gabriel's description of the reporter.

"Well, we'll find out soon enough." Gabriel pulled out phone, quickly pulling up an article. He scrolled through and sighed.

"Yep. Updated just a few minutes ago." He mumbled through the first couple of paragraphs -- just clear enough that Cas knew she was taking the approach that Benny was cheating on his wife with Dean -- before speaking clearly.

“Castiel Novak was particularly cagey when speaking of his ill-fated relationship with the movie star. This reporter wonders whether the Winchester camp has paid him off to stay quiet.”

"See there, Cassie?" Gabriel easily fell into stride with Cas as he walked through the building. "Doesn't matter if you said anything or not."

"But that's ... " Cas sputtered. "How can she write that?"

"Well, if you'd occasionally read something other than musty old bibles, you'd realize this is how the world works now."

As they exited the building, several reporters approached, much to Castiel's surprise and Gabriel's quickly fading amusement.

"Just keep your mouth shut for now," he whispered to Cas before snapping "No comment," to the steady stream of questions as they walked toward the parking lot, until:

"Do you think Dean made a mistake getting involved with Benny Lafitte?"

Gabriel huffed and stopped walking. "Hang on a sec, Cas. This is too good to pass up." He turned to face the reporters. Holding his hands up to get their attention off Cas, he said loudly, "You guys want to know the biggest mistake Dean Winchester ever made?"

Everyone fell silent, waiting. Cas watched him curiously, the glint in Gabe's eyes all too familiar.

"That damn octo-cobra movie. I mean, a paycheck's a paycheck, and I'm sure we all enjoyed the numerous shirtless scenes, but seriously, what was he thinking?" With a grin and a wave, he hustled Cas into his car, while the reporters stood still, looking at each other in stunned consternation.

His cell phone rang periodically as Cas drove home, a jarring punctuation to the dismal memories that he couldn't shake. It was ringing again when he let himself through his front door. He tiredly dropped his bag in the foyer and dug the phone out of the pocket, accidentally answering it when his thumb brushed the screen. He stared at it for a few seconds before ingrained courtesy had him reluctantly holding it to his ear. "Hello?"

"OMG! It's you! Thank god, I thought you'd never answer, please don't hang up, I'm Charlie Bradbury, I'm a friend of Dean's," came the response in one long breath.

Cas hesitated, unsure whether she was being truthful or not.

"Plus I'm his Social Media Manager as well. And kind of PR and sometimes just general moral support and cheerleading."

"I see," Cas said flatly. "And you're calling to ask me not to say anything?"

"No." That was surprising enough to stop Cas from disconnecting the call. "I mean, I guess I really should, given my job description, but Dean said to let you talk if you wanted to, that you deserved to say whatever you wanted, and he's kinda right, or at least not totally wrong, considering what he did --"

"You know what happened?" Cas interrupted. He felt the hot burn of humiliation across his cheeks when he thought about Dean sharing the story, strangers laughing at his naivete.

For the first time in the conversation she stayed silent for more than a breath, and when she spoke, she sounded subdued and a little apologetic. "Kinda. He's only ever talked to me about you once, and only after a truly staggering amount of alcohol, but yeah, I do."

He wandered into his living room, unable to form words, and sank into an armchair.

"For what it's worth, Dean's not that guy anymore," she offered.

"What, did the orgies lose their appeal?"

Silence.

"I'm sorry." Cas rubbed his temples. "I wasn't expecting to have to deal with any of this today. Maybe I'm not as over it as I thought I was."

"No, I'm sorry. And you have every right to be angry -- both about what happened back then and what's happening now. And I really wish I didn't have to ask, but are you planning to talk to anyone? I'm not asking you not to, but it would be helpful if we at least knew what was coming."

"What are my options?" he asked tiredly.

"Oh. Well, you could probably make some good money for an exclusive tell-all ... although I guess I shouldn't have told you that."

Cas chuckled. "Oddly, that doesn't sound all that appealing."

"Okay, good. Great." Charlie let out a relieved sigh. "So then your options are either total silence -- which doesn't really deter them all that much. They'll probably just make up their own stuff."

"I think I found that out already. I was called by a Bela Talbot earlier."

Charlie sucked in a breath, and the soft tap of computer keys came through the phone. "Hmmm... cagey huh? Eh. That's not too bad.

"Oh!"

"What?"

"You're kinda dreamy, Cas."

"What are you --"

"I just googled you."

"You can google me?"

"Yep. Right here. Dr. Castiel Novak, published in numerous academic journals -- impressive -- written two books, tenure-track at a prestigious university. And definitely super dreamy. Ever had any of your students write 'Love You' on their eyelids?"

"What? Why would someone --"

"Or you could issue a limited statement." She switched topics without even a breath. "Something like 'Yes, Dean and I dated. Our relationship ended when he moved to pursue his acting career.' Short, sweet, not a lie, but not too specific either. We can issue a similar statement from our camp. It's a little harder for them to run wild if there's actual words on record. And it might blow over faster."

"That sounds good. Better, anyway."

"Well, okay, then."

"Miss Bradbury?"

She squeaked. "Charlie, please! Miss Bradbury belongs in a Jane Austen novel."

"Okay, Charlie, then. Can I ask a favor?"

"Abso-tively."

"Could you .. would you write the statement? Something along the lines of what you said already. I can pay you. I just ... I wouldn't want to say anything to make this more difficult for Dean."

"Oh." She hesitated. "Sure, I can do that. And we should probably coordinate with your university public relations office. At least give them a heads up. I can do that as well. And I'll see who in the area can get the message out the best."

"That's ... that would be tremendously helpful, Charlie. Thank you." He felt a slight lessening of tension along his shoulders.

"It's no problem, Castiel."

"Is there going to be any trouble for Benny Lafitte or his wife?"

"Nah, Andrea's a sweetie -- and she already knows all about Benny's past with Dean. It's actually the press that needs to watch out there. The first one who implies to her face that Benny cheated is not going to leave that encounter unscathed."

Cas chewed at his lip before asking, "And Dean, is he doing okay?"

"Well, he's currently locked in his room with numerous mini bottles of alcohol. Don't worry, Sam's on top of things. He'll get him back on track."

"Well, that's good. I guess I should let you go." He felt strangely reluctant to hang up.

"Cas?" Charlie's voice softened. "Do you want me to tell Dean you were asking about him?"

Cas stared at the carpet beneath his feet. Dean had betrayed him, broken his heart, shaken his ability to trust anyone, including himself. Saying yes, reaching out to Dean, would mean opening himself up to all of that again. He should say no, wait out the temporary whirlwind of semi-notoriety, and then back to his regular life -- his safe, protected, predictable life.

"Cas?"

It was enough to know that Dean had people looking out for him. He didn't need Cas to get through this.

Cas sighed, resigned.

"Yes, please."

ETA: now continued here

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #189 - Spy

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #358

Format: Blu-ray

1) So the movie starts by introducing us to a sort of typical white guy spy. A James Bond type, but without the British accent (for some reason). It starts with the familiar, the usual tropes, before really fucking them over when Jude Law (who for some reason is trying to do an American accent and he’s not doing it well) sneezes and accidentally kills a guy.

Which is an excellent joke to introduce is into the film’s wonderfully strong sense of humor. If you think you know how a trope is going to play out, you’re probably wrong. In fact, the entire opening sequence is a strong representative of how the film blends quality action with quality humor which will be consistent throughout the film.

2) Melissa McCarthy as Susan Cooper.

McCarthy is the foundation on which the rest of the film is built. From the very first minute we spend with her character she is established as not only good at her job but incredible at it. It is easy in spy spoofs for the main spy to be a bumbling idiot, but Susan’s continued competence is in fact one of the key factors which makes this film as incredible as it is. Especially considering the fact she does have some insecurities at the beginning, insecurities which are largely unfounded because she is fucking good at her job. McCarthy is able to have incredible warmth, heart, and vulnerability as Susan which she doesn’t always show in her film roles. But also when the script calls for it she can have this amazing brashness and humorous loudmouth/angry quality. Susan goes through an incredible transformation from the moment we meet her to the moment we leave her and McCarthy is able to play that absolutely perfectly. It’s HER story, it’s HER movie, and we are just along for the ride in an amazing way.

3) “Who Else Can You Trust?” is abbreviated in the film’s opening credits (I own the full version found on the album) but feels like a real Bond song with the opening credits feeling like a real Bond opening credits. This is part of the reason Spy is able to differentiate itself from other spy comedies like Austin Powers. It takes the genre, action, and stakes seriously throughout. This is real danger and true villains who are trying to get their hands on a nuke. It’s not like “oh, it’s funny because the spy is stupid and the bad guy’s want to kill all cats” or something like that. This sort of silly comedies can and have worked in the past, but Spy’s comedy is born out of its strong sense of characters and performances from the actor. Not by making fun of the genre, but embracing it in a wonderfully fun and funny way.

4) Jude Law’s Bradley Fine often times steps over the line which divides nice guy from Nice Guy™.

Susan: “Could you imagine me as a spy?”

[Fine, who has seen how badass she was in training, laughs at the idea.]

He’s an idiot and kind of a jackass. He may not actively be trying to belittle her but that’s what he does in pretty much 99% of their conversations. He’ll talk about how great she is but he gives her chores which she is overqualified for like picking up his laundry. It’s frustrating but then it’s supposed to be. It’s one of the key conflicts in the film that Susan is underestimated and belittled by all those around her because she’s not what a spy is “supposed” to be like.

5) This film is pretty freaking great, but it could’ve used a little more Morena Baccarin.

Honestly, everything could use a little more Morena Baccarin.

6) What the fuck is this bullshit? He’s secretly SLEEPING with this bad guy and yet…

Fine [upon being caught by villainess Rayna with a gun]: “An awfully big gun for such a little girl.”

7) Allison Janney is someone who I love in literally everything I’ve seen her in. Even when she’s pretty much the straight man in this, the CIA director, I am just drawn to her. I just really fucking love Allison Janney.

8) Jason Statham as Ford.

Holy fucking shit. Somehow Jason Statham is in a movie with modern day comedic legend Melissa McCarthy and ends up being the funniest person in the film. He is totally committed to Ford’s arrogance, jackass qualities, intensity, and hyper masculinity in a way which is 100% hysterical! It’s a tricky business because Ford doesn’t think he’s funny. Ford doesn’t think he’s weird or an idiot, and Statham plays it like that knowing it will derive the most laughs. Ford is basically the super testosterone filled action hero in every movie ever and Statham doubles that while stealing every single fucking scene he’s in. And his chemistry with McCarthy is off the charts funny! Melissa McCarthy is the bedrock this film rests upon but Jason Statham is the fucking cherry on top (I think I’m mixing my metaphors but whatever), he is absolutely amazing.

9) I love this because it makes me angry.

CIA Director Elaine Crocker [about why Fine pressured Susan to stay out of the field]: “Yeah, he sniped you.”

THIS IS REAL! THIS IS FUCKING REAL! MEN IN CHARGE KEEPING WOMEN DOWN BECAUSE THEY’RE WOMEN, WHETHER THEY KNOW THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE DOING OR NOT! GAH! I mean, the film including it is fucking awesome and handled really fucking well but holy shit it pisses me off that this is even a thing.

10) I find it endlessly frustrating (and I think I’m supposed to) that all of Susan’s aliases and spy gear are not the “sexy” stuff but things which could be considered “frumpy”. Why can’t she be a gorgeous baroness with a super slick ride and men on her shoulders? Have you seen Melissa McCarthy? She’s fucking gorgeous.

11) Melissa McCarthy has a very strong chemistry with Miranda Hart, who plays Susan’s best friend Chummy in the film. Their relationship in many ways is much more important than the ones Susan has with any other character in the film, including Fine. And you understand how good friends they are with each other as the movie continues. It’s really great.

12) Ugh.

Ford [after McCarthy points out he didn’t even like Fine]: “It’s called the rivalry of men!”

As a man I can say, “The rivalry of men,” is the equivalent of, “who’s dick is bigger,” because society has convinced us that we’re not a “real man” unless we’re the “biggest” man in the room. It’s fucking stupid.

13) One of the key things that makes Susan as strong a character as she is are her motivations. You understand what is driving her VERY clearly: her memory of Fine. It evolves into more than that as the film goes, it evolves into her just doing her job, but you understand why she does things which are outside of her norm. It’s because she is in pain over Fine’s (supposed) death and needs to make right by him. It’s clear and powerful and helps make the film as good as it is.

14) Aldo - as portrayed by Peter Serafinowicz (legendary character actor who can be found in Shaun of the Dead, Guardians of the Galaxy, the voice of Darth Maul in Star Wars: Episode I, and most recently “The Tick” on Amazon) is incredibly funny. Every overly sexualized moment with him & just his general chemistry with McCarthy makes him a worthy addition to the already stellar ensemble cast.

15) As I mentioned in note #10, I don’t understand why McCarthy is given all the frumpy gadgets and covers when she can pull this off:

She’s fucking gorgeous.

16) I’ve mentioned this with a few pairings before, but McCarthy and Statham have this intense/incredible comedic chemistry which is born out of their strong bickering. This is most plainly seen when they're both at the hotel/casino arguing and I think the fact I’ve mentioned it so often is just a sign of how well put together this fucking cast is.

17) There is an incredible sense of tension that plays through most scenes (for example: when Chummy is trying to kill power to the casino) which ties into what I mentioned in note #3: it helps elevate the film over silly spy spoof into this engaging and riveting action comedy.

18) Rose Byrne as Rayna.

Rayna was apparently originally written as a 19 year old girl (this according to IMDb’s trivia section), which makes a LOT of sense considering how much of a BRAT she is. Don’t get me wrong, Byrne is absolutely excellent at giving of the appearance of this elegant and sophisticated socialite. But that’s where the humor is from. The juxtaposition between what you expect from her (a refined Bond villainess) and what she actually is: a moronic spoiled brat. Byrne plays the humor and juxtaposition perfectly. The key part is that - like Statham - she’s not actively going for laughs. She’s not hyping up the stupidity or the silliness, acting like Rayna knows she’s stupid, but instead trusting the script and playing it in a way where Rayna takes herself seriously. And THAT’S the gag! And it’s great!

19) At this point Rayna has called Susan a child multiple times, compared her to a depress homeless clown, and insulted her ability to address herself.

Susan [to Rayna]: “Why are you being so nice to me?”

20) I’m starting to sound like a broken record but McCarthy’s ability to hold her own against how Byrne plays Rayna’s horridness is a testament to her talents as an actress and the chemistry between the pair. God, this movie is just so fucking funny.

21) I mentioned earlier that McCarthy gets the chance to play Susan as both more reserved and brash. It is when McCarthy is acting like “Amber Valentine” (the cover Susan uses to make Rayna trust her) that she gets to show off this aggression WONDERFULLY. It’s also wildly cathartic because a lot of people - including Rayna - have just been consistently putting Susan down for the ENTIRE film. Now she gets to go off on them and it’s amazing.

22) I’d like to point out that very few women die or get “fridged” in this film, not when compared to the men. I think during the entire movie only one woman dies but that’s a nice proportion swap to most male dominated action films. (How many women have died on Bond movies versus the men?)

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

23) The Budapest car chase scene is one of the strongest action set pieces in the film. It’s filled with this intense and enjoyable action, sprinkled with just enough jokes to make it hysterical, it’s well choreographed, and just altogether a fun ride.

24) But even the Budapest car chase can’t compare with the kitchen fight.

The action is INCREDIBLY well done. The fight choreography and energy throughout is just truly kinetic and it just grabs your attention and NEVER lets go. It’s just insanely well done and by far the best scene of the film.

25) I would like to point out - similarly as I did in note #4 - that Fine is kind of a jerk to Susan. He attributes her continued success to Rayna’s inexperience just casually, like it’s no big deal, not realizing he just undermined all the amazing things she just did in this film. Meanwhile the creepy sexpot of Aldo supports Susan and reminds her she’s been doing an incredible job in this film.

26) When Susan learns that Fine is alive, her entire initial motivation for going the distance of being a spy is gone. But that doesn’t matter because she’s not doing this for any man anymore. She’s doing this because it’s the right thing to do and because she knows she CAN do it. I love that. And when Susan embraces this and kicks some serious ass, Fine sees her for who she is.

27) Wait…I just realized that Ford didn’t actually DO anything in this film. He just kept getting caught and screwing up.

I love that! It’s so much funnier for me that way! :D

28) I love that it’s Chummy who saves Susan in the end. Not Fine, not Ford, but her best gal pal. Friendship over romance/sexual attraction is something I really appreciate.

29) And by the time the film ends, all three of the main guys - Aldo, Fine, and Ford - want Susan now. But she doesn’t chose a guy, she choses Chummy. She choses a night out with her girls instead of even Fine, the guy she’s been pining over FOREVER. I love that.

Spy is an incredibly funny and heartfelt film with a powerful message about competence/self worth. Melissa McCarthy gives an absolutely stellar performance and is surrounded by a just as strong supporting cast, with Jason Statham being a particular stand out. The action is crazy, the humor is spot on, the characters are well developed, and the relationships are pure. All in all, it’s just a really freaking good movie I think everyone should see.

[rilenerocks]

When I was in my first year of college, I started what I called an apocalypse notebook. I was seventeen years old. I found myself perpetually surprised by a seemingly endless string of newspaper headlines and stories that should make all the hair on your head stand straight up. And yet, while all these unimaginable tales were being spun in the news, regular life seemed to just go on. People were going about their business. While my hair was feeling peculiarly upright, I was surrounded by folks who seemed able to ignore what I found impossible to ignore, impossible to forget. After a while, I abandoned the project. I realized that keeping track of all the unacceptable happenings in the world was an infinite task. Giving it up was kind of similar to my accepting that I was never going to be able to read all the books in the world. I did that after reading a statistic which stated that on average, there were approximately 10,000 books published a day. Quite a reality check.

Instead of trying to comprehend the madness of the world at large and trying to consume every thought that’s been written, I’ve spent my lifetime sifting through what are the big questions for me. The older I get, the more introspective I become. I’ve got some answers to a number of my big questions. But there are still a lot of things I don’t understand. What I’m learning is that I probably won’t ever know how some things work and that more questions keep piling up every day.

I’m trying to accept that and go with the flow or rather, my flow. I’m coming up on my wedding anniversary which is May 1st. That date starts my most emotionally daunting six weeks of the year. Squeezed into that time are the anniversary, Mother’s Day, the birthday of my oldest and deceased friend Fern’s birthday, my birthday, the anniversary of Michael’s death, Michael’s birthday and finally, Father’s Day. It feels like a lot. Lots of memories, lots of absences, good times coupled with dark times. I find myself trying to gear up to tick each event off the list so I can get to the other side. One thing is certain – these personal events wouldn’t make it into my apocalypse notebook.

Today, I would be entering the latest news about another AR-15 attack in a house of worship. And most certainly I’d take note of the fact that certain areas of pigs’ brains have been revived after being dead for hours.

“A dead pig’s brain was brought back to life, sort of…” USA Today

My life is trivial  in comparison to those things. I suppose I’m better at handling things than I was a year ago. I’ve parsed together a semblance of a new life, one which still needs work, but is better than just feeling disoriented and empty. I’ve definitely had the type of recovery associated with the passage of time. I’m more in control of my emotions on a daily basis. Still, I haven’t gone through those orderly grief steps, at least not in the order they’re supposed to happen, according to the seemingly hundreds of books about the topic.

I’m not sure I’ll ever get past some of the landmarks that mean you’ve made progress. I suspect that’s partly because I had no expectations of what it would be like to be widowed at my age. Michael’s parents outlived him by 30 years each. We always thought he’d be around a very long time. And then suddenly we knew he wouldn’t be. We talked about it a lot. He’d ask what I thought I’d do after he was gone and I truthfully told him I had no idea. He wanted me to be happy and freed me to resume a life with another partner. I kind of thought he was crazy then and now I feel that even more. I had no idea I’d be so uninterested in new partnership.

I think being a mate was the only thing I ever really wanted in my life. And I was very successful at it. I don’t believe lightning would really strike twice in that arena and having been so happy, I feel really done with that part of life. I miss who I had but I don’t believe I would be content with anything less than who he was to me. So I’ve turned my attention to other interests. The other unexpected thing is that I still keenly feel Michael’s presence all the time. That has become one of my big questions. I didn’t know what I’d feel like when he was gone. I really don’t feel he is as gone as I expected him to be. I know people who’ve processed their pain faster than me and have moved on with other relationships. I know people who’ve filled their lives with projects and commitments that keep them occupied from morning until night. I instead still feel very married and ok about it. I remember the old James Stewart movie, Harvey. He was a large rabbit who accompanied Stewart’s character wherever he went. No one could see him but Stewart. Yeah, that’s me.

The other day my sister asked me if I was going to just isolate myself on my wedding anniversary and feel all my feels. I realized that I wasn’t planning to celebrate or mourn. So often I feel Michael’s presence with me during my days that I’m not thinking of any plans to fill in the gaps. Am I making that up? I don’t think so. It’s one of the unexpected surprises and one of the big questions I haven’t figured out.

I realize that I’m still wearing my wedding rings along with other rings Michael gave me. Taking them off never occurred to me. I feel like a nun who wears the ring marrying her to Jesus. The symbols of our life together feel permanently affixed on my hands. I’ve seen movies and read articles about the rituals people go through to remove those symbols. That’s ok with me but it feels irrelevant to my choices. I didn’t know I’d be this way. I’m having lots of thoughts about how time works and what effect my desires have on it. I want Michael to be in my dreams at night. Often he is, and we are doing normal things, chores around the house, our famous bickering, all pretty familiar and feeling very “now.”

The other night I had the most peculiar dream experience I can remember. Most of my dreams are pretty mundane, what to write on a grocery list, what I want to plant in the garden and so forth. Rare for me are the wild adventures with people chasing me or being in another universe with monsters and such. I was lying in bed awake and worrying because I knew Michael was mad at me, in the way he’d be when we were very young. He’d stalk out of the house which drove me crazy. He was an avoider and I was a confronter. I managed to break him of that habit by packing a small bag with everything he’d need for a few days, leaving it by the closet and telling him that next time he wanted to go, to just grab the bag and leave. Nipped that behavior in the bud back then. But this time he was definitely gone and in Chicago. I was worried that he might hop a plane to go see his sister in California. I’d had no calls or texts from him and I felt frantic. So I decided to text him and tell him to come home so we could work things out. I was thinking I was glad I remembered his phone number because I knew it wasn’t in my contacts. I reached for my phone and then suddenly realized that I’d been sleeping. Grabbing my phone woke me. I was really confused. It took a few minutes to sort things out and remember that Michael was dead. I found the whole thing so surprising that I sat up to write it all down so I wouldn’t forget by morning. Fat chance of that. I felt like I’d been stuck between dimensions. That’s not an average thought for me and I found it both unnerving and interesting.

I started thinking about my mother. My dad was the same age as Michael when he died, just sixty seven. My mom lived almost 25 years without him. She never got past him. They were really in love their whole lives. I think their relationship reflected the difficult parts of their early years and that it lacked maturity in many ways. But there was no doubt that they had big love. My mom was sad and wistful about my dad for the rest of her life. She would frequently say, “I know you’re not going to believe me but your father came and sat on the bed with me last night.” She was strongly convinced that she had regular visits from him and her mother. When she probed me about whether I believed her I told her I couldn’t say one way or another if what she felt was real. But as I try to understand why Michael feels so here, I wonder about how parallel my world seems with hers. 

I hear both my grandmother’s and my mother’s voices in my head frequently. I don’t know why. If I’m conjuring Michael just because I miss him so badly why can’t I do it at will? Recently I’ve read some interesting ideas about time. Most people view time as linear – we’re born, we grow up, we die. But there are different views.

A scientist from MIT wrote a book a few years ago about the “block universe” theory, in which time travel is possible and  that time doesn’t really pass. This theory posits that all our experiences of birth, life and death are present out there somewhere. Wormholes may exist. There are physicists and philosophers in Time Study institutes around the world trying to address these bizarre concepts. Getting your head around this kind of stuff is a challenge. But aren’t all belief systems that firmly put forward such things as afterlives, reincarnation and the like equally bizarre? I really can’t differentiate between the faith and the science.

What I do think is that human beings have been on a quest to make sense of life and death forever. I don’t expect to live long enough for any ultimate evidence to be presented to me as scientific fact. I wish I could know why I feel the unusual things I feel about Michael and why I hear mom and grandma saying things in my head that make me laugh out loud. I’ve just decided to go with it all. For me it’s no different than having someone call who you were thinking about a few seconds before they rang. There’s another theory floating around about how our brains are connected by an intranet, this one put forward by neuroscientists and psychologists. What do I know? I guess we all select what works for us. I’ve always felt I have some kind of radar thing going on in me. A prescience, sometimes good and sometimes lousy.

Just like the movie, The Sixth Sense, I hear, rather than see, dead people. I hope this isn’t alarming –  I’m pretty sure I’m harmless. At least to date.

In the meantime, I stare down my wedding anniversary. I lived with Michael for 4 years before we married. So for me, this will be our 47th year, 48th including the six months of friendship that preceded our romantic involvement. We always talked about renewing our very alternative vows but never got around to it.  I guess if I’m still counting the years, I’m still celebrating.

I remember our 25th anniversary. Our life was changing. Michael was leaving his music business after 27 years and beginning his career as a teacher. We were broke but in classic fashion, we decided as we only lived once, we’d take a cruise. There were Mayan people in Tulum, Mexico who would make a commemorative calendar date on parchment as a souvenir.

Instead of a birthday, we chose our wedding date. I’m so glad about that. I still have the red rose Michael managed to get on the ship when we had our romantic dinner and he gave me a ring I still wear.

So, however strange or confusing it all may be, I’m just going to keep my mind open to the mysteries and hope they hang with me for the rest of my life. As Michael would have said, “It is what it is.” He was always interested in pretty cosmic ideas. He read a lot of science fiction and thought about the possibilities of time travel.

I gave him a clock for our first wedding anniversary. How appropriate. I have an art piece he gave me for another anniversary. It’s a couple entwined in each other’s arms. Yes. Feels like forever and across dimensions to me.

Anniversary When I was in my first year of college, I started what I called an apocalypse notebook.

[recentanimenews]

CR Features' Predicts the Future of Anime Awards

It is award season! In preparation for Anime Awards, our editors and columnists looked to the past to predict the future. Trying to predict the future was subjective for each of the editors and columnists but this is what came out of it.

*Spoilers below*

Ricky Soberano

Best Film - Neo Yokio Christmas Special

    I instantly fell in love with this and not -just- because I’m a born and raised Neo Yokion. It has dope music, a gorgeously decadent color palette (and Christmas sweaters), allows for the audience to see New York and Bergdorf Goodman during Christmas time, has a good message about telling capitalism to fuck off, and mechs. What more could you possibly want in a film?

  Best Fight Scene - Yami vs. Licht from Black Clover

    Watching the captain of the Black Bulls fight at his full capacity against a comparable opponent was honestly insanity. This literal fight between light and dark was almost incomprehensible due to the speed and beauty of it. The fight was progressive and a winner wasn’t clear until the very end. I was cheering on the sidelines and was completely engrossed in every second of it. A visceral reaction like that makes it the best fight scene in my book.

  Best Character Design - Ryouma Ebata for That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime

    The character designs in Slime are not only distinct and easy to differentiate, but convey a unique aspect of each character's personality through visual design. Ebata-san didn’t need to go that hard for us but he did it anyways.

  Cayla Coats

Best Film - Liz and the Blue Bird

    The first five minutes of Liz and the Blue Bird have no dialogue but they managed to bring the audience I saw the movie with to tears. If that isn’t movie of the year-worthy, I don’t know what is.

Best Girl - Lily Hoshikawa of ZOMBIE LAND SAGA

  Lily isn’t the protagonist of her series, but she taught us how to be brave enough to be ourselves, and that makes her the best girl in my eyes.

Best Ending - Pulse by Hina Kino, Rika Nagase, and Konomi Kohara from Asobi Asobase - workshop of fun -

    There’s no better way to represent the truly rotten souls of Asobi Asobase’s protagonists than with this delightful death metal ditty that closed out each episode.

  Nate Ming

  Best Fight Scene - Sakura vs. Saki from ZOMBIE LAND SAGA Episode 2

    A rap battle is a war of words, and these two zombies-turned-idols threw down in the best way possible. We had some titanic, beautifully-animated fights this year (and then we had the last few episodes of Golden Kamuy, which was just one long, wonderful running fight), but nothing has stuck in my memory quite like some trash talk turning into a battle of the bars.

  Best Anime - Devilman Crybaby

    There’s so much that goes into a memorable work for me--key scenes, the soundtrack, the impact--Crybaby brought back everything that was amazing about the original Devilman and modernized it, treating new audiences to the excitement and horror of one of anime’s all-time classics. Give Masaaki Yuasa the keys to more classics, please.

  Best Boy - Tanigaki Genjirou of Golden Kamuy

  What a man. Let us all aspire to be as brave, as honorable, and as chesty as Golden Kamuy’s Matagi hunter.

  Emily Bushman

  Best VA Performance (Japanese) - Mamoru Miyano as Koutarou Tatsumi from ZOMBIE LAND SAGA

  This performance is exquisite purely because we know very little about the character of Tatsumi. Who is he? What does he want to save Saga, a place it seems like he’s not actually from? Why does he care about Sakura so much? Why does he ALWAYS wear sunglasses??? With few forthcoming answers, we have to extrapolate who he is through his appearance, his actions and, what he says, and how he says it. It is these last two things that Miyano excels at. Miyano brings Koutarou to life, and through his voice we learn so much about him- he pinwheels between borderline scary enthusiasm for Franchouchou, smooth-talking charm for clients, and devoted sincerity with the girls. The range in tone and emotion is awesome, and makes his voice a key part of understanding his character.

  Best Girl - Shirase Kobuchizawa of A Place Further than the Universe 

     Shirase deserves best girl not just because this anime focuses purely around her journey, but because each episode we learn a little more about her- what motivates her, what scares her, what she likes and dislikes, and, most importantly, the complex relationship she shares with her mother. All this builds into a final two episodes that emotionally eviscerate the audience in a way that both hurts and heals, just as we watch Shirase hurt and heal, and, ultimately, metamorphose into a better version of herself. And, because of all the wonderful character building, Shirase goes from being just another character in an anime to being a friend or a sibling, someone we can relate to on a personal level. This is what makes her best girl.

  Best Opening - Fighting Gold by Coda from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind

  This OP is a winner for me for a few reasons. 1) The song is lit. I lived and died for the first ten seconds of the OP, with the brief pauses. I’ve never heard that done before, and it forces the audience to sit up and pay attention to what’s being highlighted visually. 2) The art and animation style do an amazing job meshing together Hirohiko Araki’s distinctive style with a secret-spy tonality, reminiscent of a James Bond opening. It provides the audience with a hint into what the season is all about- focusing on Giorno’s attempts to rise to prominence in a mafia- while keeping true to the original art style.

Best Boy - Ryu of Golden Kamuy

  Ryu is the bestest boy of them all: A doggo. He is a good boy. A sweet boy. A boy who followed the scent of his dead master’s gun across Japan, just to try to find his master Nihei again. <3 If he doesn’t get best boy, no one should.

  Nicole Mejias

  Best VA Performance (Japanese) - Kotono Mitsuishi as Tae Yamada from ZOMBIE LAND SAGA

  There are a lot of things that made ZOMBIE LAND SAGA great, from the amazing characters, songs, dance sequences, touching stories, and off the wall comedy, but one thing in particular was the glue that held that all together: The Legendary Tae Yamada! And without an amazing vocal performance from industry legend Kotono Mitsuishi, none of that charm would have been possible. Now, I know what you might say: “But Tae doesn’t speak!” which, frankly, is even harder to pull off in my opinion! Tae conveyed emotions, communication, and stood out as an amazing cast member because of her vocal performance, as limited in range as it might have seemed.

  Best Girl - Asirpa of Golden Kamuy

  Golden Kamuy is such an incredibly good series, and I feel that a large part of that is due to Asirpa. We hear a lot of talk about strong female characters in media, and frankly Asirpa, small as she may be, stands tall. Asirpa is a strong-willed and determined girl with the ability to not only survive, but to teach grown adults how to do so too, proud in her Ainu heritage and way of life. Asirpa never comes across as weak, and in many cases it’s her sharp mind and survival skills that have saved the day for her and Sugimoto. On top of that, she’s totally adorable! Asirpa’s huge blue eyes and distinctly charming facial expressions warmed my heart and made me want to see her succeed.

  Best Film - The Night is Short, Walk On Girl

    Frankly, a lot of anime movies tend to be very heavy on providing one-off “what-if” stories or little bits of fanservice here and there for fans of their respective shows, but a truly good anime film in my opinion is one that uses the medium of anime to tell a developed narrative in the span of a feature length film. The Night is Short, Walk On Girl did just that, sucking me in with the amazing animation style and combination of story threads that all paid off in the finale, when everything comes together and makes sense. The way the movie positions itself as a parallel to Tatami Galaxy was an extra treat, but even without having seen that, The Night is Short is a great film I can recommend to anyone and that I could watch time and time again and never get tired of!

  Anime of the Year - Golden Kamuy

    I generally like to think of my anime of the year as the series I couldn’t wait to watch another episode of, the one that I’d set my day around so as soon as a new episode released, I could watch it immediately. This year, that anime was Golden Kamuy, which honestly surprised me at first! I had no idea what to expect, and “historical action drama” didn’t initially grab my attention. What I found, though, was a series filled with unique, lovable characters (even the worst ones!), high-octane, high-stakes action, and a twisting plot filled with unexpected surprises and twists. I can think of many shows I enjoyed this year, but none kept me wanting more like Golden Kamuy did.

  Daniel Dockery

Best Film - Digimon Adventure Tri “Future” 

    I don’t watch a lot of anime films. Wish I did, and I probably will in 2019. But my knowledge of them is resoundingly lackluster. However, that doesn’t mean that my pick of Digimon Adventure Tri as Best Film is a sign of me having my back against the wall. I legitimately love Digimon, and I think that while the series of Tri movies had some stumbles, they warmed my heart with their continued themes about growing up and just how weird it is to be a teenager. Digimon has always been about goodbyes and how important it is to love your friends, no matter how much the world tries to tear you apart, and Digimon Tri nailed that. Also, you’ll always be my boy, Agumon.

  Best Opening - Make My Story by Lenny Code Fiction from My Hero Academia

My journey with My Hero Academia has also been a journey of finding great new songs to exercise to. And “Make My Story” is another fine addition to the list. “The Day” was definitely a bench pressing anthem, and “Peace Sign” was tailor made for leg day. “Odd Future” was more of a jogging/warm up song, while “Sora Ni Utaeba” was something to rally you for that last set of deadlifts. But “Make My Story” is my go-to if I’m trying to max out on shoulder presses or bicep curls. Anime is great, y’all.

Best VA Performance (Japanese) - Soma Saito as Honda-san in Skullface Bookseller Honda-san

  I know that this is almost a purely comedic performance, but I am allllll about it. I didn’t expect to like Skullface Bookseller as much as I did, nor did I expect to like the protagonist that much. Honestly, I thought I’d inevitably get bored with his constant exasperated screeches of anxious terror, but I never did. Soma Saito turned “AGH. I’M IN OVER MY HEAD” into a vocal art form.

Best Fight Of The Year - Gridman vs Kaiju in SSSS. Gridman Episode 2

    The fights in SSSS. Gridman are both lovable homages to tokusatsu and action-packed laser fests that can stand on their own. I think there are probably better fights in the show, but none other cement SSSS. Gridman as a must watch anime like the fight in episode 2, where he first uses the Caliber sword to defeat a monster. It was one of those “If I wasn’t totally on board with this show before, I certainly am now” scenes, and I’m so glad that my 2018 received the gift of Gridman.

Peter Fobian

  Anime of the Year - A Place Further than the Universe

    I couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t take this opportunity to throw in my hat for Anime of the Year for A Place Further than the Universe. This anime anime had it all. Excellent writing, direction, storyboarding, and characters. The overarching plot and individual character subplots were excellently paced and wonderfully executed. The emotional journey was just as heartfelt as the logistical journey taking the girls to Antarctica was fascinating. Even in the diverse medium of anime, A Place Further gave us a refreshingly original concept.

Best Opening - Black Rover by Vickeblanka from Black Clover

  Black Clover has made a strong showing with OPs, but Black Rover is above and beyond. It’s probably my favorite song to come out of this year in anime (except maybe the Hinomaru Sumo ED). The visuals are also excellent, not forgetting to lean on some slice of life content, which is really one of the greatest strengths of the anime, along with an original fight and some awesome hype building shots for the upcoming Yami vs Licht battle. I’ve played this OP like 300 times.

  Best Fight of the Year - Boruto and Sasuke vs Momoshiki in BORUTO: NARUTO NEXT GENERATIONS Episode 65

    This fight easily takes the category for me. In addition to Pierrot bringing in a ton of new faces and returning Naruto Shippuden animators to give episode 65 movie quality animation, the choreography of the battle was some next level stuff. Naruto and Sasuke’s combination attacks contained the collected history of Naruto with callbacks stretching all the way to the first story arc. More than best of the year, this might be the best fight scene I’ve ever seen.

  Best Character Design - Masayoshi Tanaka for DARLING in the FRANXX

  If there’s one thing I can say for sure about DARLING in the FRANXX, it’s that the character designs were excellent. It’s no surprise one of the reasons Nishigori said he wanted to start the project was to work with Tanaka. The AnoHana character designer managed to create some hyper distinct characters despite a rather sparse world and the multitude of character uniforms were excellent. The order of Franxx and character designs is not entirely clear, but it sounds like some adaptations were made to align the designs, which means his excellent work was made that much harder.

  Best Boy - Rei Kiriyama of March Comes in Like a Lion

March comes in like a lion aired this year, which means Rei Kiriyama is indisputably the best boy of the year for the second year in a row. This season in particular really showed his best qualities. Rei really came into his own by realizing how much the Kawamoto sisters meant to him and trying to show his appreciation for their friendship. One of the most heartbreaking parts of Hina getting bullied was spending time in Rei’s head with his feelings of helplessness as he desperately looked for ways to save Hina from the same pain he had experienced in school. Season 3 when.

Best VA Performance (Japanese) - Hina Kono as Hanako in Asobi Asobase - workshop of fun -

After the first episode of Asobi Asobase I was convinced Hanako would be the “dumb character”, like Oujo in Galko-chan, who would be the mediator/victim of the two more forceful personalities. I was hella wrong. Hanako is absolutely insane and Hina Kono absolutely delivered for the role, delivering on poor innocent Hanako, Grudge girl Hanako, Spanish Inquisition Hanako, and regularly screeching like a banshee Hanako. Her range and delivery were truly impressive and often well outside the usual vocal tropes for female characters in anime. A stellar performance.

Noelle Ogawa

Best VA Performance (Japanese) - Soma Saitou as Honda-san in Skull-face Bookseller Honda-san

I’ve worked bookstore hell before, and let me tell you, it was an absolute delight to listen to Soma Saitou scream about the happenings during his workshift. The polite customer service voice to the extremely pained internal monologues that you can’t let out if you want to stay employed; I felt each episode on a deep and visceral level. Even if you haven’t worked in a bookstore like I have, anyone who has worked with handling customers face to face for long periods of time will understand exactly what Honda-san is feeling, and Soma Saitou conveys that agony perfectly.

Best Animation - Pop Team Epic

Okay, but hear me out.

Most anime tends to have a standard set of animation, where even if the quality shown is high or low, how things look visually is still fairly consistent. That isn’t the case with Pop Team Epic. In working with different animation teams, the series allowed the teams to run wild in how they wanted to show each story, resulting in an insane variety. The stop-motion needlefelt music videos are completely different than the choppy and messy Bob Epic Team shorts. There’s a reason that the internet collectively lost it over Hellshake Yano. Pop Team Epic managed to mix up their animation styles with each short, and that’s something rarely attempted. Watching each episode was genuinely a blast because I never knew what to expect, perfect for the chaos of Popuko and Pipimi.

Wilhelm Donko

Anime of the Year – A Place Further Than the Universe

A Place Further Than the Universe took us on one of the grandest journeys in anime ever, and will hopefully be considered a must-watch title in the near future. The heartfelt story about the girls’ spectacular journey to Antarctica was one of the most well-crafted anime in recent years, making it an indisputable contender for Anime of the Year!

Best Opening Sequence – "SHINY DAYS" by Asaka in Laid-Back Camp

  Laid-Back Camp should at the very least have a fighting chance at the Anime of the Year title, but when it comes to 2018’s best opening sequence, there’s simply no competition here. Seeing Nadeshiko take off in her jet-propelled tent, and hearing the refrain kick in, always managed to put a huge smile on my face.

Best Character Design – Masaru Sakamoto for SSSS.GRIDMAN

Mecha anime really aren’t my cup of tea, especially those with old-school robots that transform by docking with trucks, planes, and the likes. And yet, I still gladly sat through all of SSSS.GRIDMAN, simply because of the gorgeous character designs. Looking at the excessive amounts of fan art for the show, I’m certain that SSSS.GRIDMAN has a realistic shot at the award for best character design.

---

What do you think will be nominated for each category? Hash it out in the comments below!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[raystart]

Telling Your Story

The first serious story I ever wrote was to impress a girl. We met one summer during college in a small town with a big lake. Over the course of our weeks together, she taught me how to sail. I bought her bags of gummy bears at the old-timey candy store on Main Street. And we went to the town’s biggest social event of the year, the semipro rodeo, followed by the postrodeo honky-tonk dance. Few things scare me more than a dance floor, and yet I kept up with her because I was smitten.  

When summer ended, we both went to back to our respective colleges, a thousand miles apart. I wondered how I could keep this good thing going, and I thought for all of about a minute before happening upon the best, most logical solution: I’d write her a book that relived our best moments from the summer. To make sure it didn’t feel too awkward, though, I’d change the names, alter some realities, and throw in as many one-liner jokes as I could come up with.

Months later, when every word was perfect, I sent her the resulting 100 pages, all nicely bound. A few days later, via a very polite AOL Instant Message conversation, she said she found the book charming. She added that in the interim she had found someone else, the man she would later marry.

The story, I guess, just wasn’t enough to bond us forever in love. Looking back, it’s easy to see why – the narrative lacked any sense of a plot, had poorly defined characters, and possessed no theme other than the great lengths to which a college-age male will go for young love.  

But on the bright side, I discovered that I loved telling stories, and that feeling eventually took me to New York City, where I’ve spent countless hours working through my earlier mistakes. As the editor of 99U, I now get to do what I love every day: track down, investigate, and spread the word about creative leaders who are mastering their crafts, building incredible careers, and shaping their industries.

We at 99U believe in a story’s ability to foster meaningful human connections so much that we published the piece “Why Every Artist Should Be a Great Storyteller.” Key among the reasons it explores are that stories serve as an organic means of marketing what you’re doing, provide additional ways to connect with an audience, and allow you to promote your work without feeling like a self-promoter. And whereas product pitches disrupt our lives and exasperate us, stories provide something of value and are enjoyable. If you tell your story right you can resonate with your audience over the long run, rather than gamble on a short-term hard sell of whatever you’re trying to move this product cycle.

Here’s a five-step guide for how to build and develop a compelling narrative. It uses 99U articles as examples, so readers can see how an editorial property evaluates ideas, decides which ones get published, and why. Granted, there is no one-size-fits-all way to tell your story, so this is intended to serve as a blueprint that can be adapted to your medium, whether it is text-based or visually driven, a 60-second bio pitch to a new client or a six-month social media campaign that showcases the creative process behind your latest project –  or even a 100-page love story, if you’re feeling particularly ambitious.

Step 1: Find your story by identifying your unique spin on a universal theme

The hardest part of telling your story can be getting started, which is ironic, because if you’re the main character in your story, or championing a brand, you should theoretically know everything there is to say about it by heart. But the reality is that when we’re drivers of a story, we sometimes barrel down the road with blinders on – all we’re focused on is what’s ahead, when we also need to see the larger themes at play around us.  

If you’re having trouble nailing down your narrative, you’ll appreciate the tale of Texas sign painter Norma Jeanne Maloney. Her story wasn’t initially obvious to us. We were intrigued by the words that described her – “Texas sign painter” – but it was hardly enough to warrant a 2,500-word feature. So we looked more closely at her life in an attempt to uncover what we could about someone who has never led a global branding campaign and is not widely known outside of her community.

  Norma Jeanne Maloney outside of her Texas studio.

Here’s what we saw: For the past 25 years Maloney has hopscotched around the country, from San Francisco to more affordable Nashville (where she painted honky-tonk bar signs) to affordable-turned-gentrified Austin to sleepy, and way more affordable, Taylor, Texas, in pursuit of one thing – painting colorful signs by hand for the likes of BBQ joints, butcher shops, and tattoo parlors. Hell, she even drove a meat truck for two years to fill her coffers during a work slump.

Today, out on the sun-punched Texas plains, Maloney puts on her cowboy hat and works from dawn to dusk, “like a farmer,” in a 117-year-old mint-green building that resembles an Old West saloon. Her rent is relatively low, giving her the financial freedom to create on her own terms.

The more we learned about Maloney, the more we got behind her story, because in it we saw a familiar, compelling theme: Here is someone who has spent nearly half her life doing whatever it took to do what she loves. Yes! So even if we’re not sign painters ourselves, we can still relate in some way to Maloney. That theme, then, became the frame to our story, and we could use it as our opening to illuminate Maloney’s unique cross-country journey within it.

Making sacrifices to live the creative life might be the theme of your story, too. Or it may not be. Begin by outlining other universal themes – like the underdog story or the coming-of-age story – to find the one that best fits your journey. Then sketch out the details that paint your character portrait using as many bits of real-life flavor as you can come up with: hand-painted signs! From sunup to sundown! The meat truck! Once you’ve done this, you’ve established who you are and where you’re going: the start of your story.

Step 2: Take us on an adventure

Stories need motion. They need action. They need someone going on an adventure, whether that’s a physical trek or an introspective, reflective one. Better yet, stories should have both, because your goal is to add as many memorable wrinkles to the narrative as you can in order to differentiate your tale from every other one in the marketplace that follows a similar theme.

Take a scenario we at 99U get pitched a lot: that of a young artist who moves to New York City with nothing but a suitcase and a dream to put their artistic stamp on something. While that’s a relatively uncommon journey in the U.S., it’s typical among the creative set. So how did we pick the one we published over the rest?

We decided to feature Nigerian artist Laolu Senbanjo because his physical journey was so great. He grew up in a family where the males, for generations, had become lawyers because that was considered a respectable job. Senbajo initially went that route himself, but then quit and opened an art gallery in Nigeria. His father was so disheartened by Senbanjo’s artistic pursuit that he once drove Senbanjo around their city’s slums, telling him that if he kept this up, he’d end up there too. But Senbajo kept at his art, and received a visa to the United States.

Laolu Senbanjo.

That’s a good start to Senbanjo’s story, differentiating his journey from those of others who had parental support and traveled a much shorter difference to New York. But there are other strivers who come from humble beginnings and travel long distances, so how could Senbanjo separate himself from that pack? Well, a few years after he arrived in New York City, he got the job of a lifetime: painting Beyoncé’s face with his Afromysterics designs for her music video Lemonade. That led to work with Nike, the Grammy Museum, and the Smithsonian Institution, among others. Not bad! It was only then that Senbanjo’s father came around to his son’s pursuits. “We are your parents and you taught us something about art and being an artist,” he told Senbanjo.  

By the time we reach the end of Senbanjo’s interview, we’ve gotten to know him on multiple levels, both inside and out, and each move he made differentiated him more and more from other New York City dreamer stories. In the process, his multiple thematic adventures have given the audience more strands of his narrative to connect with.

The fact that Senbanjo’s story has Beyoncé in it certainly helps, but if you’re like the rest of us and your story is missing Queen Bey, look for stories within a story – say, a father-and-son career-tension story happening within a young dreamer’s journey story – and start weaving them together to give your narrative a unique texture and richness that allows it to stand apart, and stand on its own. 

Step 3: Reveal your struggles

Conflict. No good story is complete without it. That means you have to share tough moments – even moments when you failed. This is tough for everyone. The objective, though, is not to relive memories you’d rather forget; it’s for you to provide another avenue for your audience to connect with you. Think of an aspiring Olympian who misses the Olympics one year, then sacrifices for four more years before trying again. It’s human nature to want to cheer for them, even if we don’t know them personally. That’s not because they’re athletically superior to 99.9% of the population – it’s because they have missed out on achieving a big goal, just like the rest of us. A struggle shows that you’re human, and it gives you a chance to display what you’re made of.  

This helps explain why our readers connected with master woodworker Mira Nakashima. She let us in on those moments that hurt. It was Mira’s father George, one of the most respected woodworkers in the U.S., who decided that Mira would follow in his footsteps and make chairs, tables, and other furniture pieces at the family’s rural Pennsylvania studio. George often made important decisions for Mira, including where she would attend college (Harvard), what she would study (architecture), and whom she would apprentice under (him).

Mira Nakashima.

Flawless execution on the part of Mira was the expectation. But no matter how hard she worked, it was never enough. “I don’t ever remember being praised for being successful while I was working for him,” said Mira. It was this moment of the story that really sold us on publishing this piece. Imagine if your boss never complimented you on your work. Now imagine if that person was your father. How do you come back from that?

Mira, naturally, is feeling low as a result. But the audience hasn’t deserted her. Instead, they empathize with her – it’s the circumstances around her that are driving the conflict, and she’s doing her best to endure them – and are waiting to see how will she respond.

George passed away in 1990, and Mira finally takes over the shop. She knows she must move forward and evolve. She does, leading the Nakashima Studio into one of the most impressive chapters of its history. If Mira had been born into a renowned family, enjoyed success working for her dad, and then taken over a thriving business, that would have been a nice albeit standard narrative. But stories need to be more provocative – they need to push people out of their comfort zones. That gives Mira a chance to show the audience her human spirit and fortitude – just like an Olympian – making her someone we want to cheer for, both at her low and in the end.

Remember: Showing your vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness. It shows you’re real, and that gives your audience another way to relate to you. 

Step 4: Add literary spice to jazz it up   

This is the fun part of the storytelling process, the place where you must inject your own personality and character to further make the narrative your own. The key is to add details in spots where they can make the biggest impact, in particular those moments that are out of the ordinary or when you are introducing a particular character or scenario. Once you identify those moments, see how many of the five senses you can engage to capture and hold on to the audience’s attention. Your goal is to show your audience what is happening, not tell them, as your aim is to depict a scene that allows the reader to process it on their own terms and reach their own conclusions. The more you can show them, the more real the scene becomes. 

The opening paragraph is particularly important and often the most challenging. You have a few sentences to make readers care about where this tale is going. I felt the pressure myself when I did a piece on Spanish artist Rubén Sánchez. He’s a rising star and a fascinating guy, but he is not yet a household name (strike one against the storyteller); plus, there are a lot of people out there who paint (strike two). So it was my responsibility to find a way to differentiate his story from that of every other painter the audience has encountered.

When Sanchez told me about the time he painted a six-story mural, it was clear that would become our starting point, as such opportunities don’t come along every day. Here is the result:

“Raised up six stories in the air by a rickety blue crane balancing on rocky, muddy ground, Rubén Sánchez tried to figure out what was the biggest challenge of spray painting this mural on the side of a concrete building in Russeifa, Jordan. Was it the blinding two-day sandstorm? The birds-eye elevation that felt magnified by the tight working conditions – Sánchez stood in a bucket large enough for just him, protected from falling overboard by two thin rebar wires. While dreadful, none of these matched Sánchez’s biggest problem – the bathroom was a long way down in the achingly slow crane that took forever to inch back to Earth.”

Rubén Sánchez.

My goal here was to describe an unsettling scene by drilling into the details. Sanchez wasn’t just in a crane bucket – he stood in one fenced in by metal threads. And I purposefully don’t describe what he is painting right away. That can come later, because how he is painting creates way more tension. The birds-eye elevation! The possibility of death! Forgive me for the bathroom humor, but sometimes you shouldn’t overlook the obvious, which can all too easily disappear in plain view. Hopefully, by the time the reader is done with this paragraph, they realize this guy isn’t like any other painter, and they can’t help but wonder what happens to him.

As you develop your style, your goal should be to say things in fresh ways. The sun shouldn’t be “hot” or “yellow.” Instead, how about “fiery” or “golden” or “bakes” or “blazes” – words that conjure up multiple images. And take us to unexpected places that shake us free of the usual stereotypes. If your main character is a painter, don’t have them painting a canvas if you can go with a crane and a sandstorm.  

Over time, these descriptors will become part of your literary spice kit, devices you can use to carve out your own voice and say things in a way unlike anyone else.  

Step 5: Teach us something we can benefit from   

Every story should have a moral, but what’s more, it should also have what we in media call “service tips.” These are pearls of wisdom you’ve shared throughout your tale that your readers can apply to their own crafts and careers. As the storyteller, this is your chance to show your value: You’re mining your own experience for insights others don’t have, and trading that information for the attention of an audience who could benefit from it. In other words, what do you know that the rest of us don’t?

When we did a piece on Bob Mankoff, the former cartoon editor of The New Yorker, we realized he had two stories in one. The first was a delightful human interest story, in that he’s spent the bulk of his career in an enviable job that sounds made up and just plain fun.

The second one to emerge was that this guy really knew something about how to generate winning ideas under tight deadlines. Each week Mankoff oversees a process where about 50 New Yorker cartoonists submit 10 cartoon pitches each for a handful of openings in the magazine. We wanted to mine him for his knowledge on the topic, so this story had the ability to reach multiple groups of people: cartoon junkies (a relatively small demographic) and people who need good ideas fast (essentially everyone).

Throughout the course of the piece, Mankoff let us in on three strategies he uses to come up with a good idea under pressure. The easiest way to get a good idea, he said, is to dream up a lot of ideas. A single idea is never enough, and it’s rarely good, he noted. And that is why he requests 10 cartoons per person – because nine out of 10 things in life don’t work out.

To get his creative juices flowing, Mankoff starts by putting together things that don’t normally go together – like heaven and an E-ZPass lane – and sees what happens. The juxtaposition gets his brain thinking What if? and serves as a jumping-off point. Even if the first few concepts aren’t mind-blowing, he is working his way toward something good in a way that’s far less fraught with pressure than staring at a blank page and hoping for a winning idea right off the bat.

Finally, we learn that a rejected idea doesn’t always mean it’s a bad idea that should be discarded. It simply means that it didn’t work this time. A number of New Yorker cartoonists keep unsold cartoons in their files and return to them again and again, refining the punch lines until one day they stick.

By the time our readers, the majority of whom are not professional cartoonists, are done hearing from Mankoff, they’re now in possession of proven strategies about how to generate new concepts when the odds are against them. Mankoff has delivered something of value in an entertaining, enlightening way. And providing value to your audience, something at the heart of any good story, makes what you say worth listening to.