#but this chapter really got me bad bc I had to change the climax point several times

[a-very-fond-farewell]

comes in real late to announce that *deep breath* guess who finally finished ch.11???

[moe-broey]

Since we're closing in on the end of the current book pretty soon, any thoughts about what direction FEH might go next? Or even thoughts on this book overall now that we're nearly completing it?

OHH..... when it comes to FEH's plotlines I am very much just along for the ride LMFAO. I know a lot of it is based in mythology (or at very least is inspired by it!), so I bet you Could piece together Something. Or even if you keep track of the teasers (BUT ALSO. THEY HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING YET....... with that one teaser where Lif, Triandra and Plumeria are joining forces, the girls' objective to revive Freyja... I think Loki was there too? It's been a while!) (Actually. Now that I think about it. Where even DID that teaser go. Both Lif's and the fairies TT stories are fairly separate from each other. 🤔)

I do always get a little anxious near the end of a Book LMFAO, to the point where I don't look at it for a while (I think I'm one chapter behind rn). It's like... I generally don't have a lot of faith in the writers bc while they CAN hit really well, sometimes. They miss SO hard. And then there is So Much happening at the climax.... I'm so worried about how everything is gonna be tied up and resolved..... how are they gonna pull it all together? CAN they???? So scared.....

I've def said it before but I do think being a long time Sonic fan has primed me for this sort of thing LMFAO, even broadly across the franchise. Always approaching stories in good faith, always down to have fun even if it's absurd or corny or Odd Decisions Were Made or they had a REALLY GOOD CONCEPT but they dropped the ball somewhere along the way. I DEEEF approach FEH stories this way. And sometimes you are really pleasantly surprised!!!!

I think that's the relationship I ended up having with Book 7!! It can be tough for me when Yoshiku is the artist on board, since I am really not a fan of their work (sorry...). But I absolutely loved the designs of the FEH ocs this Book. Major test of faith was the "Please have a child with me" moment LMFAOOO NEARLY IRRECOVERABLE if I wasn't naturally inclined to Get Silly about it (What Is The Funniest Direction I Can Take With This In My Mind LMFAO).

BUT ALSO.... I JUST? Ended up REALLY loving Seidr as a character. I'm ABSOLUTELY in love with how each self of her's, while some bare a resemblance, none of them look like copies of each other (just sized up or down). Like even beyond my personal pet peeve of that, being trans/having A Lot of different looks in dif periods of my life. I ESPP appreciate the fact that Gullveig looks SO different from Seidr, esp as a trans person actually... cause even if you aren't trans, sometimes a new personal development will occur within you, maybe good, maybe bad, and it changes you. Which may also change how you present yourself! ALSO, the fact that Heidr had a completely different hairstyle, a slightly different body type (actually. Looking at her art I think I just hallucinated that LMFAOO but in my mind's eye I like to imagine Seidr's body shape changes/puts on more weight over time 🫡). Like they look similar enough that, yeah, they're sisters! But to me, Different Enough that the plot twist with Heidr ABSOLUTELY got me. I did NOT fucking see that coming and it absolutely shook me up 😨 (BUT ALSO. MAYBE IT WAS OBVIOUS. I DON'T KNOW ACTUALLY. BECAUSE I CAN BE SUUUCH A GULLIBLE AUDIENCE MEMBER TOO LMFAOOOO)

LIKE. I did NOT make the connection that Lif was Alfonse until like halfway into the fuckinh plot like RIGHT before it was revealed. LIKE. I am SO TRUSTING and SO HEAD EMPTY sometimes for fucking real I thought "Oh...! He Does kind of look like Alfonse... that's really cute, considering he's his ancestor and all! :)" HSKSHKSHSJ........ my man........ 🧍

At very least. I knew from the start that Bruno was Zacharias. At very fucking least I had that going for me 🫡

[unintentionalgenius]

ok @ongreenergrasses tagged me to do this and that's how I know we're made for each other bc tagging me in things is my love language

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 20, but 13 of those shouldn't count because they're Sherlock and I am not that person anymore

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? ok I had hopes that there was some way to do this besides doing, you know, math. but. it's 169,674

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  shockingly, #1 is Death and John Watson; or, Five Times John Watson Met Death and the One Time He Died at 615 kudos. If you'd asked me what was going to top this list I never in a million years would have said this one. I might have to re-read this now.

What I would have said actually comes in at #2, the (almost complete, dear g-d I'm so close) Come then, and be broken at 376 kudos.

#3 my beloved, my eldest daughter of a fic, Put Away Childish Things at 223.

#4 is astoundingly another Sherlock fic, this one creatively titled Five Times John Woke Up to Sherlock and One Time He Didn't (it's not bullying if it's past me I'm making fun of, right?).

#5 is a tie, with 60 kudos each, but they're part of the same series: A Great Man and Something Like Beginning, from my Sherlock kidfic (and incidentally how i met Hayls in the first place!).

I'm really committed to preserving my ~journey~ as a writer, but the outsized prevalence of Sherlock fic on my profile is making me question that decision. I feel like it's false advertising for who I am as a person now. 😅

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to! It might not be in a timely fashion, and honestly sometimes I feel weird about it, but I do go through and answer a few at a time when I have a few minutes.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I refuse to re-read the Sherlock fic just to confirm, but I think Childish Things wins by a landslide anyway. Fic where John or Sherlock died was a dime a dozen back in the day whereas "[a genderswapped] stiles helps peter kill her best friend" is still a very particular, unique twist of the knife.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? this is probably going to be that Sherlock kidfic verse!

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? I absolutely do not write crossovers. No offense to anyone who does, but I simply do not understand the appeal.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? It was less about the fic and more about the fact that I pointed out 911 has some copaganda elements via a fic's tags, but yes.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? I now, as of literally the most recent chapter of the most recent work I posted, have to admit that I do technically write smut. It's super cerebral, feely smut, but you do read two people having sex, so like. guilty.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think I have written any fics worth stealing but if it's happened I don't know about it

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? nope! I have co-written things in Real Life and I honestly don't think I have anyone that I would want to write fic with like that. HOWEVER I do have a beloved sounding board in @ragequilt

13. What’s your all time favorite ship? i literally cannot answer this, there is no way I can say decisively

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I had this fic from when the first of the new star wars movies came out where everyone thinks poe is dead, so finn has to become a person on his own, essentially, rather than being taught/hand-held by poe which I felt like I was seeing a lot in fic. The whole thing was epistolary, a diary that finn's therapist had him start keeping, which he then started writing to Poe. That's pretty firmly abandoned at this point, but it still haunts me and I wish I had finished it.

15. What are your writing strengths? Hayls once told me I'm really good at dialogue, and I actually think that's true. I'm also pretty good at atmosphere, I think, though no one has ever said exactly that. I do think I'm good at characterization, and that for me is really tied to how I do dialogue. I would honestly accept any commentary anyone wants to offer on the subject, though

16. What are your writing weaknesses? PLOT. not like, emotional arcs or a character's journey or whatever but. the ticky little nuts and bolts of how we get from a to z, especially when it requires a tight plot of external action. I always think about myself as (to quote @ragequilt here) someone who writes hurt/comfort, not casefic, and this is why. I'm rarely interested in writing the finer details of a mystery or an extravagant plot full of courtly intrigue. I'm probably bad at other things, too, but this is the one that stands out like a glaring neon sign to me.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I think in almost every case it's not necessary UNLESS it's being done for effect - that is, if I intentionally want the reader not to know what's said. Otherwise, I'm just going to put the switch to french/spanish/hebrew/arabic/mandarin in the narration. One exception to this for me, which is really just a sub-clause under the "only for effect" rule, is when I'm writing canonically bilingual characters who would employ words or phrases in both their languages in the same sentence. Some of this is characterization - Eddie Diaz speaks Spanish or Spanglish around his family; someone writing me wouldn't be writing me properly if they didn't write the Hebrew/Yiddish/English patois that I speak in Jewish spaces. I don't want my writing to read like the over-translated subtitles you sometimes see where loan words are translated, thereby rendering the subtitles actually less intelligible. It's a delicate balance and I wouldn't guarantee I get it write all the time, especially when it comes to not othering a character I'm writing. (also @ hayls I am one of those people who always/almost always says Hashem instead of g-d 😂 for me it's a way of making sure people don't think I'm talking about Christian God™️) You will notice, though, that I do have a tipping point implicitly delineated here - if someone is speaking another language for whole sentences, I'm just going to put that in the narration; single words or phrases will be written as spoken.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Sherlock (womp womp)

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? I've never written Destiel fic, and while at this point you might be wondering what on earth there is left to say via fic about that pairing, I have a lil thing bubbling around in my brain about bodily autonomy vs. trauma vs. helping someone not suffer from their trauma while violating whatever the brain equivalent is of bodily autonomy.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? whyyyy would you ask someone this, it's like asking someone to pick a favorite child. the answer will change tomorrow, but right now I think it's the still-WIP sequel to Childish Things, A Twisted Thing Cannot Be Made Straight. It's got fun witchy!Stiles, buckets of angst but also lots of fun pack shenanigans in flashbacks, lots of me working out my own feelings about childbirth and raising children, ambiguous relationships, belated grappling with trauma, and also a satisfyingly bloody climax. There are some scenes there that still give me chills to read, and I wrote them.

@ragequilt I want to see yours!

[aqvarius]

Do you think Kazuomi is actually really serious with his relationship with mc? Because I don't think so and I feel bad since his mc is most likely be more invested in their relationship emotion-wise.... Same goes with Kei too, even though his hasn't overcome his trauma but I think he shouldn't be in a relationship with his mc (cant put it into words). How would you rank them in terms of "serious, emotionly and mentally stable, compatability" since imho only yuzu and his mc are a fit lol

hmmmmmm good question. i have to admit that i haven’t yet played kazu’s s2 fully (but have read his s2 pov and the epis) but the feeling i get from his and his mc’s relationship is that it’s a really fresh relationship which hasn’t yet matured. kazuomi and his mc are a good match in terms of chemistry and compatibility in that they always challenge each other. i did think they were finally getting close in obscura where he finally got to see her ‘real self’ and i was kinda hoping they would drop the whole games thing and really start to get to know each other beyond the banter. and then they kind of went and reversed that development with nudus and season 2. his s2 pov made me realise that at that time, he wasn’t actually in love with his mc, he’s just attracted to her more intensely than he has been with the other women in her life. so he ‘fell’ for her in season 1 but in my opinion it wasn’t really love. and tbh even at the end of his season 2, i think he likes her VERY much but i’m still on the fence as to whether or not it’s love. i think it’s pretty obvious from the way i talk about my favourite voltage moments/characters/couples that i love DEVELOPMENT lol and i just feel like with kazu and his mc, there is a sort of sense of arrested development? one of the big issues in his season 2 imo that i feel didn’t get resolved in his pov (i can’t say about the main route) is that he is confronted with having to change his way of life for the sake of his gf and their relationship and yet every time he chooses to just do things his own way? 

edit: rest of the answer placed under cut for season 2 spoilers + length

for kazu, i feel like their relationship will only mature when he’s willing to give up the core aspects of his “selling points” (money/power/games) for his mc and their relationship. i do understand that they’re still pretty early on in their relationship, like it’s just been a matter of months and you don’t get deep with people that easily, but i hope that we do eventually get to see him really change in the future and they can love each other sincerely for who they are underneath all the games and banter. i think that’s why i love his self-pleasure story in otkoi bc we just got to see kazu do stuff that’s so not his style just for her, and then they had a really straightforward and wholesome talk about what’s missing in their relationship without being hidden behind codes and games. 

i think they rely so much on the concept of kazuomi as thrilling that we don’t really get to see that many genuine moments with him which i’m a bit sad about, because i love his genuine side the most. even in devians, when he was pretending to be normal, he still orchestrated everything and then the story took it back to that whole concept where the selling point of the route is that kazuomi is really rich and powerful and does huge grand gestures. i don’t mind that bc kazuomi is Extra to his very core but i really miss the REAL kazuomi that we saw in his s1 being all soft for just like... seeing busy and vibrant spaces full of happy people.

insert that magneto “i prefer the real [owner of the] raven [hotel]” meme lmao.

ANYWAY i do think that his occultus second night shows him finally starting to open up a little outside of just like “you’re the only one who can match up to my wits”. i feel like kazuomi showing off with grand gestures and flaunting his wealth and power is kind of his way of coping with the loneliness and trauma of the darkest part of his life, which is why it’s so significant that he lets her into the space where he was at a low point living in that motel before meeting zack. i hope that we get to see kazu really have to sacrifice some of his current core values/priorities for the sake of his mc, and i hope the way he thinks about her changes to become deeper and more mature beyond just like “she can always stand up to my challenges” - basically going from liking and being attracted to her to really loving her. 

with kei, i have a lot of mixed feelings about how bdsm is presented. since i’m not a mental health professional, i don’t really want to make any strong comments about what’s healthy or not when dealing with childhood trauma aside from like the idea that therapy is important (although kei himself admits that he’s actively driven away all his therapists). but i agree that he hasn’t overcome his trauma and, like kazu, still hasn’t even after the events of his s2. i haven’t read any of the content after his s2 main story so i can’t speak on what happens when his mc meets his grandparents and such but just based on the way he just peaced out during his s2, it’s evident that his issues manifest through at the very least his phobia of commitment (not even going to comment on the way he acted when her necklace was broken and how she was literally afraid of his reaction and also the way he like... forced her to drink juice? i picked the option where i tried to reject the juice and the fact that he forced me to anyway and she drank it bc she was afraid of him made me really uncomfortable lol). in my opinion, his sexual relationship with his mc is also very much based on his issues with power and control (ostensibly stemming from trauma) and she kind of bends over backwards to not step on his toes when it comes to his control issues. my experience with bdsm is that communication (and aftercare lol) is so important for maintaining a healthy relationship but i just kind of feel like she’s not necessarily an active participant as a sub and doesn’t really know what being a sub entails in a healthy dynamic but rather is just like going along with what he wants bc (1) it’s thrilling maybe? (they really play up the like physical pleasure aspect) and (2) he might be kinda distant if they don’t do it like that? i guess? i don’t really know bc i don’t tend to read his stories bc i’m not like the most comfortable with how they deal with power play. 

i do think that the relationship he has with his mc isn’t exactly a balanced and healthy relationship? and i also think that kazuomi’s relationship (that we’ve seen so far) is also kinda unhealthy lol. essentially, with both kazu and kei, i feel like their relationships with their mcs kind of enable (what i perceive to be) the coping mechanism aspects of their personalities. 

WITH THAT SAID, i don’t think that people need to be at a fully stable and emotionally mature place to fall in love and start relationships and honestly voltage loves doing the thing where like the mc falls for awful people bc they’re only so mean bc they're so broken and she wants to fix them uwu shinobu narita lmao which personally i don’t like, but it does make for dramatic routes and does set up for future development. it’s still early stages yet in their relationships since i think they’ve only been together for a few months, and they’re definitely still testing the waters. i think we’re being tricked/distracted by all those dramatic climax moments into thinking that their relationship is really serious but tbh they are just barely beginning to actually open up to each other. i just hope that they allow the love interests (and their respective mcs) to mature and develop into healthy people without just throwing out life threatening routes where the relationship dynamic doesn’t necessarily change but it just becomes about newer and grander ways of making big and powerful gestures to save the situation lol. does that make sense? i don’t know if i’m articulating myself well. 

but anyway i agree, from season 1 i always though yuzu’s mc was the best out of all of them. and they are the only ones who have a remotely healthy relationship like why is the yuzu the only one who’s actually considerate? sometimes he can be such an obtuse block of wood but that’s just who he is as a person. and when it comes to the important stuff, he’s actually the most willing to change and compromise for his mc. like... the Difference between kazuomi and his mc’s contract scene vs yuzu and his mc’s contract scene is kind of astronomical. even in yuzu’s devians which is like 3 chapters long only, you can see his growth from being an insensitive blockhead to really trying to understand what she needs from their relationship. and just looking at the way that he treats her emotions re: their relationship has evolved from treating it like a beta test where they give each other feedback reports to him embracing her ‘bugs’? that’s growth babey. time for kazuomi and kei to learn some lessons from the only valid masquerader. 

[cinematicnomad]

20 and 22!

020. tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?) oh no. do i have any?? i’ll talk about taste your beating heart bc i worked on it the longest and i have a SIXTY-FOUR page outline that i can look through if needed (it starts off with like...3 bullet points under chapter one and then 10 pages of bullet points for the epilogue). 

okay so there’s a lot about that fic i’m proud of, but probably i’m proudest of the development of scott and stiles’ friendship over the course of the fic? bc, look, scott as a character doesn’t interest me (characters who are presented as inherently morally good with only external conflicts Do Not Interest me), and when i started the fic it was definitely just supposed to be a sterek-centric fic. but it had a lot to do with stiles’ isolation after their sacrifice in s3A and i had to write about why he was dealing with it alone when scott and allison went through the same thing. and at first i was like, whatever i’ll just mention that they don’t know what’s happening and be done with it, but then over the years (bc again...this fic took me SEVEN YEARS to write!!) i got interested in writing about how their relationship evolved and how scott felt about what was happening with stiles and derek etc. 

so i went back and edited in a bunch of scenes and dialogue and asides that weren’t there originally to really explore how distressing it can be to have your relationship change? and how sometimes you can objectively know something is an intention-neutral action and still feel hurt by it, etc etc. and i wound up writing a lot of scenes of stiles being very aware of his own mistakes and to portray how scott is genuinely trying to be there for stiles and how sometimes you just can’t ... stop things from changing? bc that’s just inherent to life? 

so like, the fic on it’s face is about derek and stiles falling in love and becoming a pack with the sheriff while solving the central mystery in beacon hills, but it’s also about scott and stiles’ friendship changing and evolving and maturing. 

and every now and then i get a comment from someone who thinks i should tag the fic with ‘bad friend scott mccall’ but i’ve resisted that advice bc i don’t think scott is a bad friend in this fic, and i don’t think i wrote him as a bad friend. they’re just taking different paths and learning how to grow together. and my FAVORITE comments are when people recognize that and say how much they appreciated or loved or enjoyed seeing how scott and stiles’ dynamic matures over the course of the fic. 

like one of my favorite comments on the fic came from someone who said:

I loved how the story stressed about no one being the real culprit of anything...no one really being the bad. Isaac wasn't a bad guy for stepping in between Stiles and Scott's time, Allison either. Scott wasn't a bad guy for paying attention to other people and Stiles wasn't a bad guy for wanting to approach things on his own. Everything was just circumstantial. They were teenagers who made mistakes but they weren't inherently bad. And I found it like a fresh gulp of air, something new from the usual approach this kind of situation have in other fics.

basically this was just a long rant of me explaining why i refuse to tag TYBH w/ the bad friend tag lol 

022. do you reread your old works? how do you feel about them? umm i re-read them sometimes. usually not all of it, but like, snippets that i remember liking? like for taste your beating heart i’ve re-read chapter 17 a couple times bc it’s the big climax where everything finally came together like i planned so it feels like proof that i accomplished something lol. 

and i’ve LISTENED to my jessica pearson POV fic about harvey and mike, smoke and mirrors, a lot over the years bc TheArcher on AO3 recorded it as a podfic!! she’s so talented and sometimes i listen to it and can’t believe i wrote that. (for real: if anyone ever, ever, EVER wants to make a podfic of one of my fics PLEASE YOU ARE WELCOME I WILL WELCOME IT)

but i can’t re-read my work until i’ve given myself some time and space after writing it. if i try to go back and re-read it too soon after writing it i’m mostly just...totally mortified by myself and find everything embarrassing. there was a like a week between me finishing up my draft of take my hand (take my everything) and when @crazyassmurdererwall beta’d it and i finally re-read it to edit before posting. every time i tried to go back and read it during that week i got like a paragraph in before i switched tabs. 

fun meta asks for writers

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

In and out (Part 1.) (Nathan Drake x Male reader)

Description: There was a deal between Elena and Nathan to make her way to Yemen for managing to get them to the city. But plans don't go so easily as they should. Well, isn't that pretty common thing for Nathan & Co.™?

@bechobbi , let me know if I should tag you in this! :)

A/N: So okay. Let me establish some things before we even begin.

I hate changing the game's/movie's official canons, so you gave me a proper hard time, darling.

So this is a bit AU like they'll happen events from the original game, but most probably NOT in the original order/how did they really happened.

But yeah, I think that my Nate Mate might be bisexual. He's not strictly gay, bc of Elena and Chloe and you can't deny that.

I will also use my old oc pal Florence, who has some posts somewhere in the hellhole of my Tumblr, for my own satisfaction and someone to make the goofball of. A lot of you maybe will not like who she is in this, but guess what - I don't care baby.

This will be written in the third person because I think it suits the story better, just as Golden's book showed us.

And also my adoration of Victor Sullivan will probably show too much. I don't care. He's my man.

Ok. That's all.

Warnings: Just Nate and Sully being the comedic duo we know and love. Also, the first three to four chapters are an establishment for the whole story.

Word count: 2 691 (+/-)

"Real “greatness” is what you do with the hand you're dealt." 

- Victor Sullivan, Drake's Deception

"Oh crap!" The man yelled as another shot was fired at him. He almost got shot, but he managed to hide quickly before that happened. No one knew how he was able to do so, but he guessed that he has an infinite amount of luck.

But even he got enough of everything at that point - he had to escape in front some black bullshit, which was actually afraid of fire, with a dying torch, almost died during that, the worst bad guy Talbot, who was working for their concurrent Katherine Marlowe, had stolen the amulet right from his hand and he was pinned down at gunpoint behind a stupid wall at some mansion in France. The only thing that kept his spirits up was that he managed to draw the amulet to his small notebook and that he wasn't completely clueless after all.

"Better watch your back before you get shot, kid!" A visibly older man shouted at him before he shot back from his revolver. Nathan owned his life to that man for an unfair amount of times, but he would be definitely dead if that man wasn't watching over him.

The old man's name was Victor Sullivan, whom everyone called Sully, and he had some serious amount of kicking ass behind him. He was notoriously known treasure hunter and an ex-marine who dedicated his talent for shady businesses to make a serious life-lasting job out of it. He became a treasure hunter in his late twenties and he was one of the most dedicated people to this kind of life you could ever meet.

He could sometimes seem like a cold blood jerk and Nathan sometimes thought that his decisions are not logical - and usually later showed that those decisions were very clever in fact. Sullivan, even in his sixties didn't show any sign of aging except few deep wrinkles and white hair. The only other fact you could consider was his Cuban shirts, but that man wore them for years, so you couldn't really count them in.

His partner, a lot of younger man in his best years, has been doing this job alongside Sully for almost twenty years. They became a truly coordinated team during that time, more like father and son than friends.

That man's name was Nathan Drake. He was a self-declared ascendant of the famous pirate Sir Francis Drake, whom he dedicated his whole. He was considerably pretty handsome with his wild, dark brown hair and eyes which sometimes seem to be blue and sometimes they looked almost green - so he usually tried to charm off the situations. And oh boy, wasn't he the goofiest man you'll ever meet?

Right now, they both went on a search for something great and most probably greater than great. Their adventure lures them into London and France to get the clues they needed and it almost cost their life a few times. And as it usually went, they weren't the only one who was after the treasure. And the outcome usually looked like this - a big loud shootout between Nathan, Sully and "the bad guys", as he called them.

Being a bad guy also truly depended on a point of view in Nathan's world, none of them was only white or only black, everyone had some motivations and some vision because of what they actually did that thing. Some of them wanted glory, some of them wanted money and there were even some of them that went into the fight just because they actually liked to fight. Nathan didn't judge, he didn't care in fact. Everyone in these shady businesses was partly black and partly white, so everyone was grey in the end.

Even Sully and Nathan were pretty grey. Nathan was in the business because of discovering the truth about the past, and yeah, he did that for the glory. And Sully? He went in for the money. There was actually a lot of money in that shady business, more than you would expect.

This world was just too big, it had many sides and nothing was only good or only bad, partially fucked up was maybe the best possible definition when everything went well. And now it didn't go well, oh boy, something went terribly wrong and Sully with Nathan was actually pinned at a gunpoint. They couldn't even move without increasing the chance of being shot right in the ass.

"It looks like they aren't exactly pleased to see us, Sully." Nathan looked at his older friend and throw a grenade in the direction of bad guys. "Haven't you done anything to them?"

"I'm only an old man Nathan. They are more afraid of you than they are afraid of me." Sully laughed with his raspy voice and shot again. And even though he was so much older, he didn't miss his target.

"It's getting ridiculous!" Nathan yelled to the bad guys with his teeth clenched together in almost hurting way. He slowly managed to sneak out of his hideout near Sullivan. Nathan has got enough, he just wanted to cut the chase and get directly to the climax. "Why don't you let us just pass without this theatrics?!" Nathan stuck out his wooden pillar which was getting a ridiculous amount of shots at that point. Big pieces of walls were flying around his head, there were, in fact, huge piles of it everywhere and that place was actually going to fall down in any minute. "You're ruining an archeological goldmine here and you don't even mind it, assholes!"

"Way to go, kiddo, they'll definitely listen to that!" Sully walked forward too and pointed his gun on another of those asshats. Drake had to stay low if he didn't want to die there. He went through serious loads of punches to the face kicks to the stomach, so handling a few of jerks wasn't really a problem for him. So he ran straight to the action, jumping at one man’s back, using him as a shield. But it didn't go as well as Drake planned. Another man hit him with his gun to the temple of his head and Nathan fell down to the dust as another ten men circled around them. He was trapped. 

If anything, Drake served as a great sidetrack of attention for Sully, who started to quietly put man after man down, getting to Nathan the fastest way he could, using literally anything. Even a pile of dust was great to blind the enemy. And as a bonus, he was tall and pretty heavy, so he was great at hand to hand combat.

But there was something, that didn't add up there. There was so a little of the men when they were in such a big mansion. But Nathan didn't exactly think of that that intensely when he had a gun pointed directly into his face.

Sullivan almost didn’t make it so save Nathan’s ass that time. They almost shot Nate to the head when Sully finally managed to get to him and Nate had to give him a grateful look with a small smile.

“You’re alright?” Sully helped Nathan to get on his feet and patted on his shoulder with the intention to clean him from the dust.

"Maybe shocked, but all right." Nate agreed and looked at Sullivan, making his way to touch his bum. The notebook was still there and he longly exhaled. That was the only reason why they got into the fight, after all. And when it was safe in his arms, he just felt relieved.

"You did pretty well, I would say." Sully looked around on that completely destroyed place. That mansion was completely ruined, it was a disaster.

So they slowly and quietly walked out of the room, slow and carefully and not to be seen or heard. It was a long walk through an abandoned sample of mankind's crafting talent standing up in the middle of nowhere in France.

Both of them stopped at a sort of balcony which was created from molded wood that was just corrupted by the time. When they heard voices and steps, both of them shut up and crouched behind semi-broken brick walls. Nathan stuck out his head and tried to find out what's even happening.

"Empty those cans!" They heard a husky voice with a slight feel of the British accent. "Every last drop." The voice said again and Nathan with Sully just looked at each other.

"What the hell are they doing?" Nathan asked. Confusion and a sort of fear could be heard in his voice. Sully had a suspicion, but he didn't say anything out loud because of the fear it could be the truth.

"Hey Sully," Nate smelled the air and frowned. He looked around them and he just figured out that there is something that doesn't add up. There was so little of Marlowe's men, they were just trying to leave that place as soon as possible when Nathan, who had Drake's map in his notebook, was still inside of that building. Normally they would try to chase out the soul out of Nate and Sully. "Can you smell that too?"

Sully breathed the air deeply, looking into Nate's frowned face. He knew that smell very well. "Of course I do know that smell. It smells like,"

"FIRE!" Nathan shouted at the sudden realization, hearing another of the men shout Torch the place down!

"Sully we gotta get out of here," Nathan stated, extending for his gun. At the moment, some of the men noticed them and they started to shoot at them, mostly at Nathan. Drake and Sully didn't have a hard time shooting back, because Sully showed off his shooting skills again.

There wasn't even place for jokes at that time - Nathan felt his heart pounding hard in his chest. He didn't want to burn alive. He kinda liked himself too much for just burning alive. And Sully had someone who would kill Drake once more if he was hurt by his side, that was another reason he had to get sure that both of them manage to escape from that building.

"Ok Nate, go first, I'll cover your back." Sully patted Nathan's shoulder and loaded the revolver up again. Nathan wasn't completely sure about Sully's judgment, but he nodded and started to find a way out, or more like climbing out of the situation.

"Sully shoot 'em down!" Nate shouted over his shoulder with a furious look. Then he jumped over the beam he was hanging on and started finding some soft spots to climb. Sully followed him carefully and even managed to shoot someone down.

Everything went as usual - they almost died like twenty times, punched and shot on some bad guys and Sully had some seriously interesting curse words on his lips. What house was falling down at the speed of the light, which was caused by the old wood which caught on fire easier than normal wood.

They entered some halls which were completely red because of the consuming it without any problem, almost killing them by the pieces of beams falling down. But the worst ones were the staircases which didn't even hold together, there was no chance that they could climb them and yet they had to.

Sully saved Nathan a couple of times just as Nathan did saving him from falling down to the hell made of fire. They actually somehow, don't ask Nathan how because he doesn't know, managed to get to the rooftop and get out of that collapsing building.

Sully practically collapsed on a log there, fighting for every gasp of air he could get. Nathan did too, but he managed to pull back together faster than Sully.

"Here Sully," he offered him help with standing up, but Sully shooked his head and a disapproval gesture.

"Just gimme a sec. You always seem to forget that I have twenty-five years up on ya." Sullivan looked at Nate with frown and Nathan suspect which turn is this conversation about to turn. And oh boy, he wasn't fond of it.

"Oh come on Sully, you're strong as an ox." Nate put his hands on his sides and laughed uneasily at Sully's direction.

"Anyway, what's the hurry? They think we're in that." Sully pointed at the burning mansion and looked at Nate with a serious look. And they were on the path of that speech again.

"We almost were," Nate whispered, looking at the collapsing building again.

"I gotta say I'm losing the point here," Sully admitted with his look directed to Nathan's back. "Remind me again, why are we doing this?"

"No, no, no, no, no. If you're gearing up for one of those "I'm too old for this" speeches, spare me." Nathan turned around and looked Sullivan directly to the face. Sully had his age, he truly did, but that doesn't mean that he'll stop, at least for him.

Victor loved and lived for this kind of life without the option of woking up the next day safe and sound. He loved having adrenaline in his veins, that satisfaction when he shot one of those asshats down. He lived for this and Nathan knew that. And giving Nate speeches about how old he is and feels was his favorite way of torturing Nate.

"Nate these guys are playing for keeps."

"Yeah, so? What? You're just goin' to roll over for 'em now?" Nathan almost shouted with an unbelieving look on his face. If Sully thought about chickening out of this gig, it was already too late.

"Nobody's talking about rolling over," Sully answered in a calming voice. But Nathan was already too angry to calm down instantly.

"Then quit acting like you're ready to lie down and die, all right?" Nathan asked Sully with a frown on his face. He wasn't enjoying that conversation at all.

"Listen, kid. I've your back for twenty years. I'm not going anywhere, obviously. I just wanna make sure we're doing this for the right reasons. You've got your pride all tangled up in this thing. It's making you reckless." Sully stated and Nathan had to turn around to not giving Sullivan other shots.

Victor was right in everything he said and Nathan knew that. But he also knew that it was his life and his pride to discover the legacy of his ancestor. It wasn't the right of some blonde lady who looked like she's about to turn into dust in any minute. And Nate wasn't planning to give up any minute.

"I taught you better than that. Gonna get yourself killed." Sully finally got up and slowly went to Nate. "Damn. Hell, probably get us all killed." Sully slowly cleaned himself from the dust and stood up, putting his hands on his sides and shook his head.

"Oh, no..." Nate whispered and his eyes widened in the realization.

"What?" Sully asked while Nathan turned at him.

"Cutter and Chloe." Nathan reminded him and Sully's heart almost stopped too.

"Sully if we were followed, chances are they were too."

"Oh shit," Sully whispered and knew what is Nate trying to say. "We gotta warm them."

"Yeah, and get to Syria fast." Nate agreed and the moments Sully looked like he just saw a ghost. He could see the fear in his eyes and him gasping for air.

"And what about her?" Sully realized slowly that she was in danger too. Nathan took Sully's shoulder to his hand and shook him in a calming way.

"Sully, she would definitely kick those assholes into one small ball if they tried to hurt her in any way. Don't worry." Nathan promised him in low voice and Sully looked little relieved. Nathan was sure that she would be ok.

That person was Sully's soft spot and his only other two soft spots were his ailments (like his cigars and airplanes or money) and Nathan's life.

"Sure hope you remember where we left the car, 'cause I've completely turned around," Sully exclaimed as they walked from the mansion at a fast pace.

[bthump]

watching jojo's bizarre adventure anime adaptation and seeing how much the anime team fixed araki (the mangaka)'s bad writing makes me rlly wish that if berserk gets a proper anime adaptation whoever does it will do the same with miura's writing (and some of his art too tbh). like for example for all their faults the berserk movies did improve casca's character. what are your wants for a potential full berserk anime adaptation? (also let's hope that this is the year we finally get one 🤞)

I never finished JJBA or watched the anime so idk, but I’m curious how much they changed. Like were there big changes to the plot, or was it mostly just little minor changes to smooth over some flaws?

ty for asking, and I apologize in advance for how long this got lol.

tbh I think my ideal, if not realistic, Berserk adaptation is one that just goes ‘fuck it’ and throws out most of the story lol. Starts with Black Swordsman, ends with Femto lowering his hand and letting Guts escape - well more specifically, on this panel:

Like that is a perfect final shot imho.

(Also I might mirror it with the opening shot. Like I wouldn’t open on Guts fucking an apostle lmao, I don’t actually dislike that opening but it doesn’t fit this theoretical adaption. So how about we open on a long shot of Black Swordsman Guts surrounded by the ghosts he’s fighting, that mimics this?)

Ooh I might also… I might stick the Lost Children arc in between Snake Man and Count Slug. Ugggh there are some logistical issues to untangle there, but I really, really want Jill/Rosine Guts/Griffith parallels, and I want ghosts taunting Guts about becoming a monster like his friend. Subtlety is for cowards. Oh except we wouldn’t’ve seen Femto yet so that wouldn’t work. Well, “like him” then instead of “like your friend.” There now it’s foreshadowing 2 ways.

the climax of the story is the moment of sacrifice because there’s no Eclipse rape, Casca dies shortly after Judeau, and Guts’ horror at being sacrificed by Griffith is the emotional low point. Potentially no gtsca either if I can figure out a way to incorporate Guts’ stupid dream speech somewhere else. Maybe it can be a flashback during the Wyald fight, which I’d keep incidentally, sans attempted rape, w/ Guts talking to Erica. Actually yeah that would be perfect and immediately tie Guts’ “dream” of fighting stronger and stronger enemies with fighting monsters lol, meaning I could bypass Guts’ post Eclipse war declaration that draws that comparison more explicitly.

Boom, Berserk is now a nice little self-contained tragic story about two dudes each becoming solitary monsters because they abandoned each other for abstract dreams, and threw aside the potential for true emotional healing (relationships) for shallow coping mechanisms (swords/dreams). Uhhh, also Puck is cut. Sorry Puck, ilu but you’re a ray of hope that ruins the vibe here.

And finally since this is my ideal adaptation, the subtext between Guts and Griffith is text. They don’t actually fuck or kiss, because that would avert the Eclipse, but… hm how do you make it clear that they want to fuck but are too repressed to do it and that’s what ruins everything? Okay well Griffith’s torture chamber monologue includes “love” a la the anime dub, and maybe “desire” or “need” to completely remove that ambiguity desperately maintained in the minds of straight people. And Guts… I don’t know that I can go textual lol. The only point in the story he can possibly recognize his own feelings is chapter 71.

Ooh I got it. Just include “at that time he shone before me as something beautiful, noble, and larger than life” after the Count’s backstory lmao. Do you really need more? Well, maybe “he shone before me as something larger than life - noble, and… beautiful.” Or just cut to the chase completely: “At that time, he shone before me as something beautiful, noble, and larger-than-life. I loved him.”

OKAY all that said I feel like this wasn’t really what you’re asking lol since you mentioned a complete adaption. So okay assuming there are no huge major changes to the content or structure of the story, here’s a (stupidly long, like only read this if you for some reason enjoy seeing me ramble for days about minute details lmao) list of some more minor things I’d want to change:

I’d start with the Black Swordsman arc and continue as the manga goes. Yes, in this one Guts still fucks an apostle. This is right before the credits, and it’s depicted as badass and cool. In fact, I might actually split the scene with the credits - start the opening sequence right after Guts blows her up, and resume on this shot with more of a sombre tone:

Like okay that would be pretty cheesy lol, but this is the Black Swordsman arc. It’s supposed to be a little campy, and really unsubtle, and this seems like a fun way of highlighting this little tonal shift.

Relatedly, I would not acknowledge the fact that most people watching already know where it’s going. I would maintain the integrity of the first arc in starting off with Guts as an apparent cool badass and then tearing that down, as well as keeping Griffith’s identity and Guts’ motivation a mystery in theory, and making the Count’s backstory the climax of this arc in a revelatory sense, rather than in an action sense.

To get more general, no fanservice for straight dudes. no one’s tits are randomly out, and when they are they’re drawn realistically and subject to the laws of gravity. casca’s clothes don’t get torn all the time, rosine’s got full moth fuzz coverage, farnese is wearing a shirt when guts takes her hostage and if we need self-flagellation (and tbh I wouldn’t necessarily cut it) it can be in a flashback, etc. Oh except Slan I guess. Her whole character is fanservice so w/e I’ll allow it.

not every woman is in love with and solely motivated by a dude. skip the queen’s completely unnecessary reveal that she was in love with julius, skip casca’s “I lived my life with the intent of sacrificing myself on my unrequited feelings for griffith” bullshit, skip sonia’s crush on neogriffith, skip tf out of schierke’s crush on guts, skip the random period of incest-y bdsm-y vibes in Farnese and Serpico’s backstory that adds nothing lol, skip the suggestions that Farnese is jealous of Casca’s history with Guts, etc

also most sexual assault scenes are cut. Casca is running for her life during the 100 man fight, not from attempted rapists. Wyald does not assault Casca, Farnese is not almost raped by a fucking horse, we chill out a bit on the sexual torture in every bg scene during the conviction arc jfc, Casca’s multiple assaults during that arc are cut, troll rape is cut, you get the point.

I’ll keep Adon’s shitty threats tho bc i feel like some violent misogyny is necessary if i’m not changing everything, but I’d completely lose the comic relief vibe he gets and make Casca’s fight with him properly epic and satisfying. The movie did this a bit better imo, but I’d really remove Adon’s whole boastful loser schtick. That might disappoint some fans, but idc Casca deserves to kill someone who is actually kind of a badass.

There’s a lot of bullshit around gtsca that I’m torn between wanting to cut, and instead wanting to just depict very negatively. Like would it be better if instead of Casca shyly asking Guts how she looks in a dress she just complained about the dress being uncomfortable, ie we completely cut that burgeoning “soft side” bs?

Or would it be better if she still asked him how she looks, then we call back to that moment when she gets awkward about her scars before sex, we keep Judeau musing on how she’s showing a soft side, we call back to that when he tells Guts to save her from leadership, we tie it all together when Guts asks Casca to leave with him, and bring it home by making it abundantly clear that Casca moving from being Griffith’s sword to Guts’ sword is not a positive change.

Like highlight everything negative about it - Guts being a huge dick, the ominous undertone when he invites her along (like cue the creepy cello music when they kiss right before we shift to monsters and behelits lol), all the parallels between him and Griffith wrt their dreams, Guts telling Casca to fuck off while he fights Wyald, maybe even add a moment where Casca actually reflects on how she’s left out of all the dream/equals bullshit and what that says about their priorities and how they see her. Might be a nice lead up to her telling Guts to leave to pursue his dream and be Griffith’s equal.

also maybe show that judeau is wrong about casca being better off away from the hawks? ugh there’s so much that would have to be reworked with her narrative. like if she still has to attempt suicide, again can we ditch the lead up about how it’s because she has an unrequited crush on griffith and just keep it about the fact that she hasn’t slept in a week and she’s on the run and her hawks keep dying and griffith is being tortured and she just stabbed guts and she’s had a very difficult year?

and like, maybe she leapt to accept Guts’ ‘come with me’ offer because she’s exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed, but are you kidding me? While Guts gets an entire narrative arc about abandoning his found family, Casca doesn’t even think about it for a moment before agreeing to ditch them? Can we maybe have some indication about how she feels about the Hawks as a family, maybe some reflection about why she would choose to leave, maybe some second thoughts about it after the Wyald fight when it becomes abundantly clear what her role would be while Guts pursues his dream, like god she’s such a pawn of the narrative, I hate it. Give her some real reasons for doing stuff!

ANYWAY moving on

like the movie, I’d give charlotte more agency in the sex scene w/ griffith, I liked her asking him to stay and moving his hand to her tit herself. I probably would not actually make griffith so out of it though - i enjoyed that in the movie but I don’t necessarily consider it in-character. The way he went from literally crying in the rain to smiling and making charming jokes as soon as Charlotte opened the window in the manga honestly makes perfect sense to me lol. Just uh, make Charlotte into it from the start because there’s zero reason for her not to be other than bad misogynistic cliches?

Also I feel like there’s a balance to be struck between depicting het sex as dude sticks his dick in, woman somehow has a good time a la the manga vs making guts and griffith competent at foreplay and oral a la the movies lol. Like maybe depict the sex scenes as the bad sex they are but Charlotte still feels closer to Griffith afterwards despite not coming from a dude fucking her while thinking about another dude and like, just keep Casca telling Guts he was obviously a virgin afterwards lol.

I guess we’re stuck with the Eclipse rape, but it happens mostly off screen and in close, telling but non-explicit details, like yk, big clawed hand holding a wrist, Casca’s eyes squeezed shut, Femto’s hand on the small of her back (I’m thinking a reversed call back to the wagon scene w/ that to suggest Femto’s motivation being a show of power tbqh). Some would be from Casca’s pov, with maybe one brief moment from Guts’ pov as he loses an eye or something. Keep the movie’s visual reference to Griffith saving her. No pornographic angles. No apostle rape prelude to it. Casca doesn’t have an orgasm. Femto doesn’t stare at Guts. It’s not about Guts at all for either of them, it’s about Femto taking Griffith’s fucked up relationship to sex and expressing it monstrously, and it’s about Casca being betrayed and symbolically negating the agency she fought for since Griffith threw her a sword. Guts’ reaction is horror and fear, not manly heroic outrage. He might still rip off his arm to attack Femto, but that would be because that’s always his reaction to whatever scares him, not for Casca’s sake. Might have to contextualize that with flashbacks to his childhood, or at the very least strong visual parallels to both his childhood and the Zodd + Wyald fights.

I want to cut the fetus, replace it with like a cronenburg-y fucked up dog-like demon in the Black Swordsman arc - not as a literal version of the Beast of Darkness, but just as a metaphor for how Guts’ inner darkness is twisting him into a pathetic asshole lol. But tbh cutting the fetus is a logistical nightmare because Casca needs magic protection during the Conviction arc. So idk. But NGriff doesn’t need it, and his narrative would be more engaging without that scapegoat. Fuck emotional ambiguity, I just want to drop the news that NGriff has feelings, and then not change anything else about his narrative. The themes of isolation and loneliness threaded throughout would just shine through lol it would be great.

I would emphasize the shit out of the Beast of Darkness/Femto parallels. Yeah Guts would still assault Casca in my adaption too. If the Eclipse rape happens, that has to happen because the point is that Guts’ inner darkness is the same. But like, I’d cut the page where beast of darkness guts bites her head off while raping her. Also I’d keep the visual parallel to the Eclipse rape (the v similarly depicted kisses) and add another from Casca’s point of view, or have her flashback then instead of just staying in Guts’ head.

as for the fallout, I’d give Guts a proper scene where he sees himself as a monster, like damn he got more of a self-reflective and telling reaction that time he accidentally killed a random kid, we should get something when he sexually assaults Casca. but overall I’d focus way more on Casca being afraid of him now rather than his mopey guilt. I would also… I mean god this should be addressed in the fact that Guts fucking wears the Berserk armour all the time lol. Like one second he’s all, “omg Flora can put a magic seal on my brand that’ll depower my magical evil jiminy cricket wolf and hopefully prevent me from raping and murdering Casca, that’s great!” and the next second he’s all, “omg magic armour I can wear that will enable me to kill everything with the side effect of superpowering my inner evil wolf and turning on my companions? sign me the fuck up I’m sure nothing bad could possibly happen with that.”

Like what I’m saying is I’d either make Guts a lot more reluctant to use the armour and take Skull Knight’s warnings seriously and genuinely reflect on the fact that mysterious magical children have to prevent him from murdering his friends over and over again, or I’d draw attention to this idiocy and fully commit to Guts as a dumbass hypocrite blithely walking down the path to more tragedy of his own making. and probably the latter based on where the story is likely to be headed lol.

in the lost children arc, I’d give Rosine’s mother more of a role as a good parent who Rosine has a loving relationship with, who tried and failed to stop her father’s abuse or something, because honestly I love the Peekaf story and I find Rosine’s regret at the end as she tries to fly home v powerful, but I hate the idea that she regrets sacrificing her abusive father so maybe this way I can split the difference.

and Jill’s ending where she goes home to endure abuse would be depicted much more darkly.

like straight up I’d depict Jill flying with Rosine as a truly beautiful moment, I would show that Jill has the potential to fulfill Rosine in a way her neverland kidnapping bullshit can’t and that yes, if Jill stayed with Rosine everything might actually work out and with Jill’s influence the whole land of the elves thing could be reworked into less of a nightmare and more of a haven lol. And Guts would absolutely be depicted as fully monstrous in comparison, ruining both these kids’ lives. Like, no ambiguity, no suggestion that Jill learned an important lesson about living with abuse lmao, no implication that Rosine brought her tragic end on herself by not being a good enough child abuse victim, just Guts sowing tragedy wherever he goes.

I have no idea how to deal with the conviction arc in general lol, specifically the ultra cynical tone the actual narrative seems to take. Like, the Black Swordsman arc was idealistic compared to the Conviction arc, they clash badly imo. Extremely badly. Like it’s a giant mess. It’s like

Black Swordsman Guts: fuck everyone who dies because they weren’t strong enough to deal with my existence. *turns and wipes away a tear* *lets a zombie kid stab him* *evokes pity from puck*Conviction Guts: fuck everyone who dies because they weren’t strong enough to deal with my existence. *poses with his sword in one hand and the rescued love interest in the other* *the crowd cheers* *luca nods sagely*

yk it’s just… awkward. It’s hard to mitigate through like, film choices yk, because a lot of it is due to the circumstances. Guts telling Puck innocent people are just ants under his feet is much different than Guts refusing to let the big bad kill Casca by telling him that tens of thousands of people can and should die because they pray too much lmao, no matter what music plays in the background. Guts’ attitude is the same, the narrative’s attitude is contradictory.

Maybe I could make Guts less of a dick and cut a lot of those cynical moments? Not really call attention to the fact that Guts is effectively sacrificing tens of thousands of refugees for Casca, or more accurately, for his own desire to feel like a hero since he isn’t even the one who saves Casca, he got distracted trying to fight the fake Godhand.

Or lol maybe I’ll just have Isidro point that out in like, a smug way. Maybe I’ll have NeoGriffith personally thank him for his contribution to his resurrection. I mean I really want to call this questionable shit into question, yk? Not to declare Guts wrong for wanting to save Casca, but to declare his cavalier idgaf attitude a big problem that has consequences. Which would actually tie in nicely with emphasizing Guts’ dumbassery in brushing off Skull Knight’s warnings about the armour and insisting it’s nbd. lol I really hope this is what Miura’s going for, just more subtlely.

Actually I wonder if I could get away with cutting Isidro out entirely. Anyone could’ve saved Casca there.

Oh I’d cut the hell out of a lot of Guts’ fight scenes in the MF arc, and if I could possibly get away with it I’d cut out everything on the beach after Skull Knight’s ominous warning. Like this might end up being the Griffith show for a while because Guts’ half is a fucking slog. And of course I’d cut the entire boat trip. They get on a boat, they get off a boat, the end.

Okay I need to stop somewhere. I’m ignoring a lot of later stuff because it’s so dependent on where the story’s going now that Casca is awake etc. Like eg the Moonlight Boy. Can I cut him? Give him a more ominous tone? Emphasize the saccharine tone he evokes for the sake of pulling the rug out from under the audience later? Will I be forced to make huge changes anyway because I can’t stand where the story ended up going? Idk it depends.

If I could tho I’d definitely cut Magnifico, Isidro, Ivalera, mermaid… like Farnese, Serpico, and Schierke are the only characters on Guts’ side who contribute to the story in a meaningful way. And without Isidro Puck could again too.

Oooh yk one thing that might be nice would be framing Farnese as the main protagonist of Guts’ half of the story during the MF arc. Just focus on her, show more stuff from her perspective, cut down a lot of fights but keep her digression back home, maybe give her some additional content that explores her character shift better, show her struggling more with her own inner darkness a bit when she first joins and give her some character beats as she slowly grows more comfortable with Casca, maybe put her backstory chapters in the first episode of a new season (a great season ender would be Guts walking away from the Hill of Swords js), etc.

lmao god I feel like I could keep going forever. sorry this is so meandering but ty for giving me the opportunity to go on and on about this. Is there anything you’d really like to change yourself?

[oumakokichi]

ok I just got through the 4th trial. Ouma backing Gonta into a corner so viciously was... kinda scary. The entire time, he takes the lead, even more prominently than Saihara. At one point he literally says 'so, the culprit is Gonta.' Later on, he meticulously clears everyone of suspicion until only Gonta remains. His aggressive demeanour is scary and also pretty sad, bc the others would never accept the truth otherwise. Idk what I want out of this ask, I just wanted to get that off my chest lol

The Chapter 4 trial hurts so much. Much of themisinformation that was floating around about it at first caused people to feelbad for one character or the other who was involved, but I find myself stillfeeling pretty miserable for every character involved: Miu, Gonta, and Ouma allgot a super shitty hand in that trial, and it’s true that none of it would havehappened without the killing game itself prompting this kind of tragedy.

The trial itself is absolutely bone-chilling and featuressome of the most incredible voice-acting moments in the whole game (in myopinion), and the points at which Ouma starts pressing are…pretty damnterrifying. There were a lot of scenes prior to this where I’d already beenthinking of ndrv3 and Ouma both in very Umineko terms, but this was the trialthat pretty much cemented it for me, because there was almost nothing more Umineko-likethan watching Ouma have to shoot down every single possibility with his own “redtruth” in order to force the group to accept that Gonta was the culprit.

As a short recap for those unfamiliar with or new toUmineko, the red truth is a gimmick within the murder mystery game in whichevery statement stated in red font is an undeniable truth without room fordenial, complaint, or rebuttal, and with no need for actual physical proof tobe presented. It’s to be taken as word-of-god “truth” and provide key clues andfacts—because if you had no proof at all that something was the truth, then you’dunderstandably wind up doubting every word out of your opponent’s mouth.

Of course, that’s not to say that the red truth can’t beused as a super tricky gimmick in its own right. By phrasing it very particularlyor only confirming a certain truth rather than the whole thing, there’s a lotof room for loopholes or workarounds. Everything stated in red is the truth,but there’s a lot to read into what’s notbeing said in red too.

This brings me back to Ouma. Ndrv3 and Umineko aren’texactly the same, of course, but I think anyone hearing this summary would beable to see exactly how this ties in with a character like Ouma, whose wordsare so often assumed to be lies and who absolutely everyone doubts every timehe opens his mouth.

And by and large, most of the time, this is fine with Ouma. He actually prefers “gentlelies” being left in place. As early as the very first character introductiontrailer for ndrv3, Ouma had lines such as “That’s what I call a gentle lie inorder to unify the group,” and “Half my lies are made out of kindness.” Theskill you gain by completing all his FTEs is literally called “gentle lie.” Andin the Chapter 4 trial, when the entire group starts pressing him to “comeclean” and berating him for dragging out the trial, he stops for a moment andquestions why they dislike lies so much even though there are many kinds oflies which are often told specifically in order to avoid hurting others.

Whatever the other characters or the player might think ofthe fact that Ouma lies, the fact that his lies are often associated withtrying to avoid very painful and horrible truths is an undeniable establishedpart of his character. He can and will either tell malicious lies or painfultruths himself if that’s what the situation requires—but he certainly doesn’tlike doing it, and he doesn’t tend to do so unless he absolutely has to.

From his perspective, lies are often preferable,specifically because they allow so many “infinitely changing possibilities.”Compared to a cold, hard truth, which is single and inflexible, lies can changeas many times as need be, and often be a source of comfort to people aroundthem. And it’s this particular outlook on lies, as well as Ouma’s innateunderstanding that lies can themselves become“reality” when they’re accepted as such by a wide array of people, that becomesparticularly central to the overall themes of ndrv3, particularly in Chapters 5and 6.

But in Chapter 4, Ouma undeniably finds himself in aposition in which the rest of the group refuses to believe anything he’ssaying. He’s clearly lying throughout much of the trial, but it’s all for thesake of prolonging the trial, stalling things, trying to bring the groupdiscussion to what needs to be done in a very roundabout way. He even offersplenty of comic relief very deliberately, including “he-said-she-said”arguments with Momota, and pretending to shake and be afraid when Himikothreatens to curse him, only to bounce back to being chipper.

However, since the group themselves refuses to acknowledgewhat he’s doing as being for anyone’s benefit but his own, he has to break outthe truth. And because no one will believe him otherwise, he does so in a waythat bears striking resemblance to the red truth gimmick in Umineko. Likeripping a band-aid off all at once, Ouma switches tactics midway through thetrial, going from playing dumb and being generally comedic and at ease to beingvery tired, very angry, and very much trying to end the whole thing as quicklyas possible.

Even when he point-blank states that “By the way, theculprit is Gonta,” no one believes him, of course. So he responds by ruling outevery single other possibility, and particularly proving how it was absolutelyimpossible for himself to have killed Miu. No matter how much the characters(or the players, for that matter) don’t like the facts, the truth is this, inred:  it was impossible for any otherperson but Gonta Gokuhara to have killed Miu Iruma. This is the point he triesto drill into all their heads, and it’s really by wielding this truth, ratherthan his usual lies, that he really begins stepping into his villain role.Because he understands very well at heart that there’s no better way to hurtpeople than with the truth.

One of the saddest parts about the whole trial too is thatbecause the others don’t believe it, even when presented with cold, hard,logical evidence, the whole thing still keeps taking much longer than itshould. Gonta suffers, he doesn’t understand what’s going on, and he becomeseven more emotional and bewildered the longer things go on, because Momotakeeps denying the proof set out before his eyes and relying on sheer belief,and Ouma keeps retaliating viciously against Momota and Gonta both, because hecannot afford any compassion at this stage, and he’s already steeled himself tothese brutal, cold tactics if it means being able to go on against the ringleadera little bit longer.

Ouma’s malicious treatment of Gonta is itself partly tosolidify his villain role, and partly because he wants to force the rest of thegroup to acknowledge that their blind optimism and belief in one another wasprecisely what led to this outcome. People, from Ouma’s perspective, cannot be trusted. They turn on you, nomatter how much you want to believe otherwise, just like Miu turned on thegroup, and just like he’s tuning on Gonta in order to keep himself alive.

The group’s emphasis on wanting to know “the truth” andacting as if it was such a positive thing is what angers him the most, becausein the end, this is what their truthis: something miserable and awful and painful, and something all of them would’vebeen better off without knowing. But they wanted to know it, and so he gives itto them with no more lies, and no more sugarcoating.

Only someone like Saihara, whose role as a detective is toseek the truth but also to understand the ways in which it can be used to hurtothers, can really break the truth in a much gentler way to Gonta, full ofcompassion. This is what he does by laying out the climax reasoning, and it’sone more step on his arc of character growth in trying to determine whether ornot it’s better to expose a painful truth or rely on lies.

Chapter 4 really, truly jumpstarts this ongoing dynamicbetween truth vs. lies. Certainly the dynamic had been there even in theearlier chapters, but from Chapter 4 and onward it just gets brought more andmore blatantly into focus. “Gentle lies” and “painful truths” remain a focal,vital point of ndrv3 all the way through the last chapter, and I feel like thepainful, raw nature of Chapter 4 as a whole did a great job in highlightingthese things. It just really hurts toread, because I feel bad for pretty much every single character involved.

[aqvarius]

What are your top 5 worst voltage routes?

oh damn this is a tough one haha. i’ve definitely played routes that i find average/forgettable but it’s hard to think of 5 routes that i thought were actually bad. except for one which i’m sure anyone who has followed me for a few years knows about lmao

i was just gonna give brief reasons but then as i was typing this out i couldn’t stop my loudass brain from rambling so... sorry for all the commentary lol. i do want to preface this by saying that these are more critiques of the writing than the characters (except shinobu haha i despise him). i love many of these characters and have enjoyed their epilogues/sequels/substories. my main gripe with most of these is just underdeveloped, jarring or flimsy character and relationship development, which to me makes the process of falling in mutual love unconvincing. that’s why all of these are main stories because they are about the critical moments of falling in love (rather than future developments such as tackling conflicts together) which i think are the foundation to any further growth. so please don’t take any of this personally if any of the guys i’ve mentioned here are characters that you love!

5. main story: takane momochi - destind: mr almost right

so this is more a case of “love the guy, don’t love the route”. i have to admit that i really wasn’t big on takane at first and then i got to the end of the route and realised that i actually didn’t love the mc. i actually quite like the destind mc in rei and araya’s routes but omg takane’s route is weird. i have no problem with takane kind of being a jerk and i actually really like him but i have a couple of issues with this route. the first is that i don’t really understand nor buy into the reason that they keep seeing each other. the mc learns about takane’s true nature and finds him kind of despicable but then decides that she’s definitely gonna make him fall in love with her, which as a plot point on its own i’m fine with but the way thy go into that discussion is really weird because it arises from the mc being appalled that takane had an affair with some teacher when he was a teenager and somehow leads into that discussion. basically i don’t think that the whole “i’m gonna make you fall in love with me” vs “i’m gonna make you sleep with me” challenge is set up particularly organically. 

it also occurs about halfway through the route which i don’t really think works in term of the pacing because within the shape of the narrative i would call it the end of act 1. act 2 would be them genuinely getting closer and then act 3 would be the conflict that develops between them which results in their breakup. with the structure of takane’s route, acts 2 and 3 essentially become crammed into the remaining half of the chapters, which makes the conflict in act 3 feel confusing and abrupt. i think it would have been more effective if they had set up the personality reveal earlier on in the route and then spent more time developing the budding incompatibilities which lead to the breakup-inducing argument.

the second issue that i have with this route is the mc’s lack of development/not addressing the actual mistakes that she makes with regards to how she sees takane. the mc suffers from idolising syndrome because she’s built takane up into this perfect prince in her mind (i guess kind of like with hiroki from mlfk) even though he’s a regular old (substantially) flawed dude who struggles with the pressure of external expectations bc people don’t see the ~real him~. this is all well and good and is set up to allow the mc to accept his flaws and see him as a real human being but instead she’s just like “your flaws aren’t really flaws, they’re just another example of why you’re perfect bc you engage with them!” SIS. he’s not a character that needs validation in that way bc everyone already thinks he’s perfect. he needs someone who can see that he’s FAULTY and help him through it, not just pass off his flaws and the way he deals with them as another point of admiration. destind mc isn’t even like old school perma-optimistic voltage mcs either, she’s a little more prone to judgement so i wish she (and the writing) engaged a little more with takane’s flaws and accepting them rather than just jumping straight to YOU’RE MY HERO. 

as a character i actually prefer him to araya but the fact that i was more convinced to love araya aka mr possessive liar himself is saying something about the story. 

4. main story: genji higashiyama - in your arms tonight

i don’t have much to say in detail because it’s been like 6+ years since i played his route and frankly i don’t remember the details, but i just remember that he was kind of a jackass and i expected better. i love ex-boyfriend/hatsukoi love interests but just didn’t really like his route. 

to quote from an old comment i once made: 

“omg i thought genji had so much potential bc hot exboyf soccer player hellooooo but he was just such a jerk, he really p-ed me off :<” 

“i kind of don’t like genji because he is a bit of a doucheypants and like really arrogant and a bit of a bully :/”

i remember the mc slapped him once after they made out which i don’t remember the context for but he probably deserved it. i was extra sad because i actually really liked him in soji’s route but he’s the team B guy in that one so......... thanks voltage. also he was a dick to everyone’s sweetheart aiba. i actually like him way more after his ms lol? conceptually i love him but his main story made me sad. 

3. main story: satoru kamagiri - 10 days with my devil

i mean this one was bad but i’m weirdly fond of satoru? i have no issues with sadists and i kind of like him (after having read substories). but this route was weird and the pacing felt a bit off to me. basically i have no idea what made him fall in love with the mc?

because i guess he starts being nice to you when he has to nurse you when you get sick and he genuinely feels bad and cares about you but do you really expect me to believe he was already in love with you when he made a date with you but decided to go hang out with other women leaving you standing in the rain for 6 hours? nah fam.

i also don’t remember what the climax of the story even is because i’m still hung up on being left waiting for him in the rain for 6 hours while he goes other women so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2. main story: seiji goto - my sweet bodyguard

i’ve talked a lot about the issues i have with this route (including a couple thousand words of review here) but i’ll just summarise. this is definitely another case of love the guy, don’t love the route. in the GREE version, you meet him from the first time at the beginning of his route and gradually learn about his past, but in the standalone app version, you basically get thrown into the route with no exposition, meaning that you have to already have prior knowledge of goto and his backstory. i had known about it so it wasn’t as confusing as it could have been, but you really just get tossed into the mix expecting to already know about kazuki (goto’s dead ex). plus he’s already nice to you from the start because you’ve known each other for a while so there’s less of the actual seeing his behaviour change bit (which is my favourite part of all main stories - in case you couldn’t tell because all of my criticisms about routes are about lack of proper relationship development). kazuki and goto’s relationship is basically the thing that underpins the entire narrative of the route which is why i find it an issue that you don’t get much insight into it going into the route blind. 

it’s difficult to feel like goto and the mc are actually gradually getting closer in the route because it doesn’t feel like there’s one narrative line that’s building throughout the entire route as much as separate events, more or less. she just... looks after goto a lot? also basically goto is interested in you because you remind him of kazuki and when he starts to like you, it’s not actually very evident in his actions - you find this out because kurosawa basically tells you lmao. 

i actually wanted to leave him and date subaru because honestly subaru in goto’s route especially reads like a much healthier relationship option, but then goto runs in and interrupts a date with subaru and drags you straight off to kazuki’s tombstone and then... it’s a happy ending? his confession feels like it comes out of nowhere because his behaviour towards you doesn’t explicitly change but you just have to believe he likes you now as he confesses in front of his ex-gf’s grave and tells her he’ll see her soon. come on bruv you can do better than this lol. 

1. main story: shinobu narita - serendipity next door

this guy fucking sucks, dude. i can’t think of even one single redeeming quality he has. he’s the reason i stopped playing voltage games for like years and went on hiatus and more or less abandoned my blog until i discovered scm. i know there was a lot of controversy about whether or not he could be considered abusive and i threw that word around a lot back in the day when i liveblogged his route but DAMN at the very least he is just the WORST. the mc wakes up in his bed after getting wasted at a rooftop party and he convinces her that they had sex when she was drunk and then blackmails her into being his girlfriend by threatening to tell the entire apartment block that they slept together. he proceeds to snoop around in all her business, maliciously making fun of her and her work at every single chance he gets (he literally RIFLES THROUGH HER BAG to find her work and mock her about it) and then she looks at one document or picture of his and he gets all uppity about it because he’s a big ol hypocrite. basically he hates the mc because she’s so pure and he’s jaded because one time he confessed to someone and she ghosted him? so he deliberately acts nice to her sometimes so she’ll let her guard down and then follows it up with a common or action so malicious i wanted to choke him. all i’m saying is that there are a number of relationships that i never got closure on and it’s never made me want to blackmail a drunk person into dating me so i can mess them up emotionally  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the thing is, i have played other guys who are a bag of suck at first and then get so much better because of character development. and this is what is totally lacking in shinobu’s route. the mc falls in love with him bc of stockholm syndrome... and basically bc omg he’s so sad and damaged and she wants to heal him i guess? it sucks. they literally have no bonding moments where they genuinely connect except for the times when he’s super mean and manipulative to her and and she’s like omg but he’s so saaaaaad uwu. throughout the route, there is absolutely no character development on shinobu’s part, he’s just the same sadistic bastard who enjoys seeing his mc being hurt the whole way through lol but SUDDENLY you guys are in love? but literally at the end the mc tries to escape from him by moving out and instead of letting her go because he’s the worst, he chases her moving truck down? also he’s weirdly possessive even by voltage standards. 

btw this isn’t even just sadists not being my type - you know i adore kaga and eduardo and even people who take ages to warm up (cough shinonome). and you know i love men who tease and manipulate you a bit (because they’re doing it out of a d o r a t i o n not spite) . i also have no problem with outright assholes as long as we see them change, develop and genuinely fall in love. my biggest issue with this route is that i don’t think pity is the same thing as love, or that someone with his personality can get his happy ending without genuinely changing and redeeming himself in some way. i’m not a fan of romanticising guys who are mean to you because they’re so dAmAgEd and want to take it out on you. (the reason i love people like hue is because even though they’re riddled with grief and trauma, they’re mature enough to handle their emotions and you don’t need to fix them!!!) i genuinely think voltage bombed it with this route lol. it almost makes me want to go back and replay it just to see if it was really as bad as i remember but (1) i never transferred it to love 365 (2) it was on my old iphone and i use android now (3) i don’t want to spend money repurchasing a route that i’m 85% sure i’ll feel is a waste of money (4) i spent £2.49 on the route back in the day when voltage was cheaper and i don’t want to spend almost double that now lol. 

also the last time i read his route i abandoned this blog and stopped playing all otome games for a really long time lmao so................................