#but this stings even more because i've been following their content for years

[tiredlylaughing]

anyone of my hot followers out there wanna pay for my watcher subscription

[chvoswxtch]

all i need is you

pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader

summary: following the morning after matt's run in with elektra, you have a lot of decisions to make about your future together.

warnings: swearing, angst, explicit sexual content (minors pls dni), mentions of pregnancy

word count: 8.2k

a/n: y'all have been requesting a sequel to please don't be mad for almost 6 months now, & I apologize it's coming so late. there were a lot of things y'all wanted to see happen in the sequel, & I took all of that feedback to heart & incorporated as much as I could in a way that made sense to me. i've been working on this for months, & it was really important to me to create something you guys would really love & be happy with. thank you to everyone that even wanted a sequel, & for being so patient. as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!

[part one]

It was almost crazy to think that just over a year ago, you thought your relationship with Matt Murdock was over for good. 

When you had awoken that following morning by his side, head clear of the rage and lust induced haze you had been captured in, all that was lingering was a heart heavy with hurt and stinging with betrayal. You had silently collected all of your belongings, pressed one last kiss to Matt’s lips, and granted his peaceful sleeping form one final glance before leaving your spare key on his entry table and disappearing into the twilight. 

All of his words still echoed in the back of your mind, but so did his actions. The promise of marriage was eclipsed by the cherry lip stain on his collar. The prospect of a family was diluted by the scent of an expensive perfume that didn’t belong to you. The vow of faith and love was broken by yet another lie. 

You loved Matt, more than you had ever loved anyone, and more than you ever thought you could love another person. You knew deep down that he was a good man. You tried to believe that he would never intentionally hurt you. But it had gotten to the point where you couldn’t ignore the ache he left in your chest. 

You needed time to try to forgive him. You weren’t even sure if you could forgive him at all. The cut he’d made ran deep, and you couldn’t decide if it was because he’d made it with her blade, or if it was simply his own that had been slicing away at the same spot over and over and over. Regardless, you needed time. Time away from him; to heal, to think, to decide. 

But Matt Murdock had never been a man of patience.

For two endless weeks your phone constantly lit up with his name, filling up with messages containing apologies and desperate pleas. You started arriving early to work and left later than usual to throw him off your schedule. You had the receptionist bypass all his calls and made security aware that he was not welcome in your office. You ignored all the usual spots that he knew you frequented, and especially the ones you went to together. For the first time in over a year, you locked all your windows to ensure he couldn’t slip through in the middle of the night. You blasted music through your headphones so you didn’t have to hear the pain in his voice as he called out your name, fist banging away at your front door so hard you were certain he was going to actually break it down. 

It was torture. Even though he had been the one to wrong you, a piece of you felt guilty. You could hear the terror and remorse in his voice when he stood outside your door, begging for forgiveness, chanting your name over and over as if you were the deity he worshiped and needed absolution from. It left a bitter taste in your mouth to be yet another person to turn your back on him, but through the wave of your sadness came the tide of anger, reminding you that he had done this. He had forced your hand. He made a choice, and you had to make yours. 

The guilt from also having to ignore Karen and Foggy weighed heavily on your chest. They knew what had happened. You had just as many sympathetic voicemails and unanswered texts from them asking if you were okay, and if you wanted to talk. You hated not being able to lean on them when you were at your most vulnerable. They were your family just as much as Matt was, but you couldn’t talk to them or be around them. They just reminded you of him. A huge part of you resented him for that, for making you feel like you couldn’t go to the two other people you loved most in this world for comfort because of what he did. You had spent the past few years building your entire life around Matt, and he had selfishly sent it crashing to the ground, leaving you completely isolated beneath the debris.

For two long weeks, you felt trapped beneath a heavy blanket of depression you couldn’t seem to find your way out from. 

And then she happened. 

How Elektra had managed to break into your apartment when Matt couldn’t, you weren’t sure, but the day you came home to find her in your living room with a bag of your things packed by her feet, you were stunned silent.

“I need you to come with me.”

“What? Why?”

“Because Matthew is an idiot and he’s put you in danger. We need to go. Now.”

She didn’t even give you a chance to hesitate, gripping your overnight bag into one hand, and forcing you out your door with the other. The ding of the elevator dropping you to the lobby seemed to wake you out of whatever trance she had put you in, and you stared at her in confusion as you stood firmly outside the metal doors.

“I don’t understand. What are you doing here? Where are we going?”

“I’ll explain when we get there. We need to move.”

“I don’t-“

“Listen. You don’t know me. You’ve got no reason to trust me. But right now, I am trying to save your life. So if you’ll please-“

“Why?”

Elektra paused for a moment as she looked at you. The annoyance on her perfect features vanished slowly, taking in the pain and confusion that were clearly plastered on yours. 

“Because you’re important to Matthew, which means you’re important to me.”

Elektra filled you in on everything the moment she had secured you away in a penthouse uptown that was registered under an alias. What she and Matt thought were the Yakuza had ended up being a much older and sinister organization called The Hand. They were into some freaky cult shit that you didn’t quite understand, but you got the gist that they were powerful, and extremely dangerous. They were also everywhere. They had tracked her and Matt, and a man named Stick that had trained the two of them, back to Matt’s apartment the night after the gala. They had been tracking him ever since, and because he had continuously been going to your office and apartment, they knew all about you. 

She even told you the truth about how she had met Matt, and how it had all been a set up by Stick to bring him back to their side; to fight the war that he had been warning them both about. 

“I don’t know what Matthew has told you about me. Probably nothing good. But I need you to know…I did love him. That’s why I left. I realized…he wasn’t like us. He would never be like us. He was too…good. He didn’t belong with Stick and I. I didn’t want to be the one to put that light out inside of him. I didn’t want anyone to. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble between the two of you the night of the gala. I wasn’t aware that he hadn’t told you that I was in town, or what we were doing. I swear I was only trying to protect him.”

There was a glimmer of regret dancing along Elektra’s waterline, and you could see her own pain shadowing the faint smile on her lips. 

“You weren’t the one that lied to me.”

Elektra blew out a breath as she took a seat in front of you, dragging her teeth along her bottom lip as she nodded.

“Matthew always has pure intentions. I know that. But for someone who is incredibly intelligent, he’s also a complete dumbass. He tries so hard to do the right thing…but he doesn’t stop to think about if he’s doing it the right way. Look I don’t…I don’t know anything about the two of you, and I’m not telling you what to do, but I can tell you that he is absolutely in love with you.”

“So…you didn’t come back to New York for him?”

“For his help, yes. To rekindle whatever we had, no. But for the record, even if I had, I wouldn’t have stood a chance in Heaven or Hell against you.”

There was something oddly comforting about Elektra’s words and the timid smile on her lips. It eased some of the tension pent up in your body, and you felt a little lighter as you let a deep exhale out through your parted lips. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you glanced over at her as you anxiously twisted a ring around your index finger.

“I…thank you. You…you didn’t have to…do all of this. I hate to even ask anything of you when you’re already doing so much for me but…can you just…not tell Matt I’m here? I’m not ready to talk to him yet.”

Elektra flashed you a pitiful smile as she gave a slight nod of her head.

“Of course. It’ll be our little secret.”

It only took Matt three days to figure out that Elektra had been hiding you, and as he burst through the front door of her penthouse, he was absolutely incandescent. 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me. You’ll have a sleepover with her, but you won’t talk to me?”

“Watch your tone, Matthew.”

Elektra glared over at Matt, tightening her grip on the knife in her hand that was hovering over a cutting board filled with various ingredients. 

Matt furiously tore off his glasses as he angrily pointed his finger in her direction, the top of his lip curling up into a menacing snarl.

“I don’t want to hear shit from you after you-“

“I protected her because you led the Hand right to her. You’re fucking welcome by the way.”

Elektra let out a deep angry exhale as she turned to face you with a sour pout on her lips. She gestured her head in Matt’s direction with a quirk of her brow.

“I can get rid of him if you’d like.”

“Excuse me?”

“I wasn’t speaking to you, Matthew.”

Sighing heavily as you let go of the whisk in your hand, you pushed the large bowl of batter forward on the kitchen island and wiped your hands off on a small towel. Rubbing your hands over your tired eyes, you waved your hand dismissively towards Elektra.

“It’s…it’s fine, Ellie. I’ll deal with him.”

Elektra eyed you for a moment before shooting another glare in Matt’s direction. She dropped the knife onto the cutting board, wiping her hands off on the same towel before clasping them together loudly.

“Right, well, I’ll leave the knife out just in case. Remember the three main areas I taught you to stab. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.”

After you watched Elektra disappear upstairs into her bedroom, you turned around to face Matt. His eyes were absolutely wild with rage and his face was morphed into complete disbelief as he blanched at you.

“Ellie? Since when the hell is she Ellie?”

“Since she’s the only one around here that tells me the truth about what the fuck is going on.”

Matt clenched his fists at his sides as he stared blankly over at you, and you watched as a muscle feathered in his jaw. 

“What did she tell you?”

“Everything you didn’t.”

You could practically feel the anger radiating off of him in waves, but you had more of a right to be pissed off than he did. Matt shoved his hand into his pocket, producing a shiny silver object that he held out in front of him between his thumb and index finger.

“What is this?”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you arched one of your brows as you looked at him.

“A key.”

Your key. 

Matt’s nostrils flared as he clenched his jaw, quickly crossing the distance between you to stand directly in front of you.

“Don’t get smart with me. Do you have any idea how it felt to wake up that next morning and you were gone? All of you, your things, everything gone? And to find this on the table? Not even-“

“I’d imagine it was as shitty as you coming home covered in red lipstick and smelling like your ex lover's perfume. Or as shitty as finding out you lied about where you were and who you were with, and that you kissed her and lied about that too.”

Matt ran his hand through his hair quickly in annoyance before dragging it roughly down his jaw, shaking his head as he flung his arms up in the air with frustration.

“Goddamnit Y/N, we talked about that! We worked through it. Then you just…disappeared and ignored me for weeks. You won’t return any of my calls, you won’t open the door, I can’t even-“

“We didn’t talk about anything, Matt! You kept trying to justify your actions and completely ignored how I was feeling. We didn’t work through anything. You manipulated me and we fucked. That is not working through it.”

Matt sighed with exasperation as he stared at you incredulously. 

“I did not manipulate you. Fuck, I told you that I wanted to marry you and have a family witn you-“

“In the middle of sex, Matthew! I don’t know if you even meant that, or if it was a heat of the moment thing. And don’t you dare say you didn’t manipulate me. You took advantage of the fact that I was frustrated and that you hadn’t touched me in weeks. You knew I would give into you. How do you think that makes me feel? That you completely ignored my feelings, manipulated me into sex for forgiveness, and filled my head with all those promises knowing that our relationship was in a bad spot. I can’t trust a word that you say because you can’t seem to stop lying to me.”

Matt’s anger evaporated the second he tasted the salt of your tears in the air. He hung his head between his shoulders in shame, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as the severity of your words nestled in the silence. Letting out a soft sigh, Matt’s tongue darted out to quickly wet his lips.

“You’re right.”

His hazel eyes were more clear without the cloud of vexation, and you could see the way they glistened with regret. Matt’s plump lips fell into a frown, and guilt seemed to tug the rest of his features down like gravity.

“I’m sorry. I swore to you that I wouldn’t lie after I told you the truth about me. I broke my promise to you, I betrayed your trust, and I disrespected our relationship. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I never, ever meant to hurt you. I didn’t want you to get mad that I was working with Elektra. I didn’t think…I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t considering your feelings. I shouldn’t have kissed her. I could’ve come up with another diversion. All of this could’ve been avoided if…if I had just told you the truth.”

Matt let out a shaky breath as his blank eyes glanced upwards, closing for a moment as he clenched his fists by his sides. A stray tear slipped past his lashes when he opened his eyes again, slowly lowering himself onto his knees before you as he reached for one of your hands to hold.

“I have been…absolutely fucking miserable these past few weeks, and that’s my own fault. I know that. I have hated not getting to feel your touch, or hear your voice, or be able to tell you how much I love you. I am so fucking sorry if I ever made you question how I feel about you, but Y/N I meant every word that night. You are the love of my life. You do belong with me. I do want to marry you and start a family. I swear to God, I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust back and your forgiveness. Just tell me what I have to do sweetheart, and I’ll do it.”

It broke your heart to see Matt look so distraught. It stung even more than he was on his knees begging for forgiveness instead of asking you to spend the rest of your lives together, but there was an undeniable conviction in his voice. It soothed the pang in your chest slightly to finally hear him acknowledge his fuck up, and apologize for it instead of getting defensive. Elektra had melted away the insecurity you had felt with her confession, and the frightened look that shattered Matt’s face showed you just how scared he was to lose you.

There was still a lot of work to be done on your relationship. It wasn’t going to be fixed overnight, and Matt was going to have to put in a lot of effort to earn your trust back, and prove to you just how much your relationship mattered to him. But you were in love with him, and you knew there was no one else for you but him.

“You can start by taking care of this…”Hand” shit. I’m not loving the fact that I’m being hunted by zombie ninjas because of my idiot boyfriend.”

Matt’s ears instantly perked up, and a lopsided hopeful grin stretched across his lips.

“I’m still your boyfriend?”

“For now. You’re dangerously close to being replaced by Elektra, though. She’s always bluntly honest, and her bed is way nicer.”

You never in a million years thought that your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend would fight just as hard as he would to keep you safe, but Elektra had. She protected you from The Hand just as fiercely as Matt did, nearly giving her life for you both, and now she was securing the last button on the back of your wedding dress and staring at you in the mirror with a knowing smirk. 

The morning you slipped out of Matt’s apartment heartbroken and desolate seemed like a lifetime ago as you prepared yourself to meet him at the altar in just under an hour. 

“What’s on your mind, little dove? Got cold feet?”

Elektra quirked one of her dark brows as she stared at your reflection with her signature smirk. Karen had left the two of you alone to go check on Matt and Foggy, and she was helping you with your finishing touches. 

After helping save New York, Elektra had stuck around, and to both of your surprises, and certainly to Matt’s, you two had become very close. The more you got to know the more vulnerable side of her, the more you felt for her. She wasn’t the villain that everyone had painted her out to be. She had been a scared little girl, manipulated with a promise of something resembling a family, only to be broken down and molded into something to orchestrate death and destruction instead. It wasn’t unlike what Stick had done to Matt. As a matter of fact, it was worse. 

“If I said yes?”

Elektra hummed quietly as she moved your hair off your shoulder, leaning in to rest her chin on it as she wrapped you up in a hug from behind with a grin on her lips. 

“Ever been to Paris this time of year? It’s beautiful. We could be at a private air strip before anyone even knew what happened. Matthew is fast, but he can’t outrun a Maserati.”

A grin broke out across your lips as you giggled, squeezing onto Elektra’s arms when she winked. You had never been more sure of anything in your life than you were sure that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Matt Murdock. Both of you knew that. But you also both knew he was eavesdropping just on the other side of the church, and it was incredibly easy to rile him up.

As if on cue, Foggy suddenly burst through the door and pointed a finger at Elektra with an expression of pure irritation on his face. 

“Whatever you’re telling her, knock it off. You’re scaring the shit out of him, and he’s already convinced enough as it is that she's not gonna walk down that aisle.”

“Oh relax, Franklin. Girls got to have their fun, yeah? Besides, I thought they called him the man without fear.” 

Foggy rolled his eyes as he shut the door behind him, walking over to shoo Elektra away as he stood behind you and adjusted your veil down your back.

“Yeah, until it comes to her. Go head to head with the Punisher who's notorious for using automatic weapons with sticks? Sure. Take on a weird cult of ninjas that can’t die and like to use really sharp swords also only with sticks? Why not. Fuck it, let’s use every goddamn tall building in Hell’s Kitchen for parkour practice. But ask the woman I’m ridiculously in love with to marry me and put up with my shit for the rest of our lives? That’s where the devil seems to tuck his tail between his legs.”

Matt had been an absolute nervous wreck the night he proposed to you. He had brought you to the same restaurant that he had taken you to for dinner on your first date, and was fidgety the whole time. Every time you asked if he was okay, he swore up and down that he was, and you figured there was just something overwhelming one or several of his senses. But then you noticed that despite it being mid November, he was sweating as you walked hand in hand through Central Park, and his hand kept nearly slipping from yours. Finally, you stopped and turned to face him, placing your hand on his chest to steady him.

“Okay, what’s going on with you?”

“N-Nothing, I’m fine. Let’s keep-”

“No, you aren’t. You’ve been acting strange all night. You’ve been anxious and fidgety, and now you’re sweating.”

“It’s hot-”

“It’s November, Matthew.”

Matt’s lips parted slightly as he went to protest, but nothing came out. He was usually good at coming up with excuses on the spot, but whatever was going on with him had seemed to completely take over his mind. A soft sigh slipped past your lips as he averted his gaze to the ground, watching as he clenched his fist by his side. You took a step forward to place your hands gently on his cheeks to cradle his face.

“Matty, please talk to me. Is something wrong?”

“No, no nothing…nothing is wrong.”

“Then what is going on? What’s got you so worked up?”

“I’m not worked up-”

“Matthew.”

Matt let out a sigh of defeat hearing the tone in your voice, his tongue darting out to quickly wet his lips as he attempted to flash you a reassuring smile.

“Can we just keep walking please? There’s something I wanna show you.”

There was evident excitement in Matt’s voice, but it didn’t resonate with you. The way he kept dodging your questions was beginning to put you in a sour mood, conjuring up a bitter taste of realization that he was on the cusp of breaking an oath he had sworn to keep. Dropping your hands quickly from his face, you shook your head in frustration as you turned around swiftly to walk ahead without him.

“You promised me you wouldn’t do this anymore.”

You only made it two steps forward before Matt blurted out a confession laced with full blown panic.

“I’m in love with you.”

Immediately pausing, you turned around to look at him in complete confusion.

“I know that, Matt.”

Matt let out a heavy exhale as he rushed forward and took your hand into his, scrunching up his nose as he shook his head quickly.

“No, I…I mean…that I’m…fuck, this isn’t going right.”

Matt pinched the bridge of his nose as his lips pursed into a frown, and you eyed him curiously as you gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“What isn’t going right? What are you talking about?”

“Will you just…come with me? Please? I really need to show you something.”

Matt’s face was twisted in what looked like agony, and the desperation in his voice made you nervous. You didn’t think you had ever seen him look so…terrified, not even that night at Elektra’s when he thought you were going to leave him for good. You allowed Matt to guide you further through the park, venturing off down a path only he seemed to know, and stopping once you reached a gate that was covered in ivy. He pulled a key from his pocket to unlock it, and pushed it open with a slight creak, gesturing for you to enter first with a timid smile.

A shocked gasp flew past your lips as you stepped inside. It was an isolated garden, completely closed in by ivy covered walls, lit up only with various strings of white twinkle lights and the glow of the moon. To your delight, there were several plants and flowers in full bloom, and the whole scene looked like a vibrant painting you would hang on your wall. 

“I hear this place is beautiful.”

Turning around to face Matt, you noticed that he had taken off his glasses, and was apprehensively turning them over in his hands over and over. The timid smile was still plastered on his lips, but his eyes were nearly blown open with distress.

“I…it’s…I don’t even know how to describe it. How…how did you find this?”

“Karen did. It’s technically private property owned by the city, but Brett owed me a favor.”

The puzzlement on your face only grew as you stared at Matt, a soft laugh leaving your lips as you gestured around.

“Is this why you’ve been acting so weird? You didn’t think I’d like the surprise?”

Matt’s eyes darted back and forth blankly as he dragged his teeth along his bottom lip, swallowing thickly as he placed his glasses into his jacket pocket and took a few cautious steps forward.

“I…I hoped that you’d like it.”

“Matty, I love it. It’s so beautiful. But you didn’t have to be so nervous to show me this. You could’ve taken me to a random alley and I still would’ve loved it.”

Matt let out a breathless laugh as he shook his head, clicking his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he smiled softly.

“Then it wouldn’t have been special.”

A furrow formed between your brows as you looked at him, trying to decipher all the cryptic pieces he was laying in front of you.

“What wouldn’t have?”

Matt was silent for a moment as he fixed his gaze on your face, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly as he studied you. Finally letting out a deep breath, he reached out to take one of your hands, brushing his thumb delicately over your knuckles as a slow smile spread over his lips.

“I told you, I’m in love with you.”

“And I’m in love with you, Matty.”

Matt took a step closer as he brought his other hand up to cradle your face, a tender smile on his lips as he rubbed his thumb soothingly over your cheek. You couldn’t tell if it was the reflection of the lights in his eyes, but they looked glossy, almost as if he was about to cry, and it made you squeeze onto his hand tighter.

“You…are the first person that has ever truly understood me. The first that’s ever accepted and loved both sides of me. You’ve never shied away from one, or favored the other, or asked me to choose. You haven’t given up on me, even when I’ve given you plenty of reasons to. You are the best part of my day. I can’t tell you how…how happy it makes me to know that when I come home at night, you’re there waiting for me. And no matter what kind of day I’ve had, or how rough of a night it was, it…it doesn’t matter, because you’re there. You give me a reason to make it home. I can’t tell you how much I love that I get to fall asleep holding you and listening to your heartbeat, and start every day hearing your voice and kissing your lips. I have never felt as…happy…and light as I do with you. I want to spend the rest of my life feeling this way. I want to spend the rest of my life ending every night with you and starting every morning with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So-”

Matt let out a shaky breath as he slowly dropped his hand from your face and tightly held onto your hand. You were already in tears from Matt’s words before, but the moment he dropped down onto one knee before you, the floodgates opened and a choked sob caught in your throat as your other hand flew up to cover your mouth.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?”

“Oh my God, Matty…yes…yes!”

Matt blew out a shaky breath of relief as he closed his eyes for a moment, the tension in his shoulders evaporating right in front of your eyes as he let his head drop. You couldn’t help but laugh as you stared down at him in perplexity.

“Did you think I was going to say no?”

Matt rubbed his hand down his face to wipe away his own tears, letting out another breathless laugh and sniffling as he looked up at you with a goofy grin on his lips.

“Figured I had a fifty-fifty shot.”

Lips splitting into the biggest smile you had ever seen, Matt quickly rose to his feet and grabbed your face, capturing your mouth in a deep kiss as you gripped onto his jacket to hold him close. All of a sudden he quickly pulled away and shoved his hand down into his pocket.

“Oh shit, uh…sorry…I…here.”

Matt laughed nervously as he pulled a small velvet black box out of his pocket, opening it to reveal the ring inside. Your mouth fell open as a gasp escaped, and you gripped onto Matt’s forearm as fresh tears welled in your eyes.

“Matty…”

“Do…do you like it?”

“I…I love it. It’s…it’s perfect. How did you-”

“I had some help.”

Glancing up at Matt through your teary eyes, you watched as a bashful smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Pulling the ring from the box, Matt gently grabbed onto your wrist with a shaky hand, and carefully slipped the ring onto your finger. It fit absolutely perfectly, and you stared down at it in awe as it dazzled beneath the lights. You were overwhelmed with so many emotions, and you didn’t know what to do other than grab Matt’s face and pull him down for a searing kiss. 

The two of you gripped onto each other as if you were afraid the other might disappear if you loosened your grasp even the slightest. You were a flurry of lips and teeth, trying to devour the other’s desire, consuming the taste of happiness together. Matt laid you down in the soft grass of the garden floor and made love to you right there, intertwining his hand with yours that wore the symbol of his love and promise to you.

A burst of laughter ripped through your chest at that memory of Matt’s nervousness as you covered your mouth, staring at Foggy knowingly in the reflection of the mirror. Elektra’s mouth split into a huge grin as she rolled her eyes, pressing a quick kiss to your temple and giving Foggy’s shoulder a squeeze on her way to the door.

“Alright, alright. Let me go do damage control. I’ll see you both out there. Oh, and Y/N, darling?”

You turned your head to look over at her as she paused in the doorway.

“Yeah?”

A warm smile tugged at the corners of Elektra’s mouth as she stared over at you, leaning her head briefly against the door. 

“You are the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”

You pursed your lips slightly as your face twisted up faintly into an expression of gratitude, returning her smile with one of your own.

“Thank you, Ellie.”

Elektra flashed you a quick wink, closing the door behind her to leave you alone with Foggy.

“She’s right, you know. You do look beautiful.”

A smirk tugged at the corner of your mouth as you looked at Foggy in the mirror, arching one of your brows quizzically.

“Did you just agree with her?”

“That stays between us. This is a one time thing.”

Laughing softly, you turned around to pull Foggy into a tight hug, sighing in relaxation as his arms came around you to hold you securely to his chest. There didn’t seem to be anything that a hug from Foggy Nelson couldn’t fix. All of the pent up nerves seemed to dissipate from the warmth of his embrace, and you suddenly felt a million times lighter.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have anything to thank me for.”

“I have everything to thank you for.”

“Well in that case, I think Foggy would be a great name for your future kid.”

A deep laugh rumbled in his chest as you giggled, pulling back slightly to peer up at him with a grin.

“I’ll put in a good word.”

After Foggy left you alone to go rejoin Matt and the others, you stared at your reflection in the mirror, smoothing your hands over your dress for the millionth time. A part of you was still in disbelief that today was the day you were marrying your best friend. Matt had sworn to not take the second chance you had given him for granted, and had been treating it as if it were sacred. He opened up to you about everything now, even the rough nights that plagued his thoughts, and the horrors he desperately wanted to protect you from. There wasn’t a single thought or emotion he hid anymore, and he’d even gotten better about finding balance between each of his lives. That wasn’t to say that you both didn’t struggle from time to time still, but your relationship was the healthiest it had ever been.

A knock against the door tore you from your thoughts, and a smile quickly spread across your lips at the sight of the figure leaning against the doorway.

“Hey big guy.”

Frank’s mouth split into a grin as he looked at you, giving a slight nod of his head in your direction.

“Hey darlin’.”

Turning away from the mirror to face him fully, you swallowed thickly as you smoothed your trembling hands down the sides of your dress and gestured to it.

“I look okay?”

Frank cocked his head to the side as he smirked, taking you in with his eyes as he took a few steps forward to stand in front of you.

“You kiddin’? You’re gonna knock Red on his ass.”

You didn’t hardly have any family outside of the chosen one you had made with Matt, Foggy, Karen, Elektra, and Frank. When you’d let it slip to him that you would be walking down the aisle alone, Frank instantly offered to be the one to walk you. He confessed that it would probably be the closest he would ever get to walking his own daughter down the aisle, and you graciously accepted without hesitation. 

A smirk curled at the corner of your mouth as you let your eyes wander over his large figure, finally meeting his deep brown curious eyes.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so…”

“Dressed up, yeah yeah. Don’t get used to it.”

“I was gonna say not covered in blood.”

Frank let out a deep chuckle as he shook his head slowly, looking down at you with a dazzling grin on his lips.

“Figured I could behave for a few days so I didn’t mess up your pretty dress, yeah?”

“How generous of you.”

As the processional music started to play, the nerves you felt earlier returned full force, and you gripped onto Frank’s arm tightly as the reality of the situation started to sink in. This was actually happening. Matt was waiting for you on the other side of these doors, and in just a few moments, he would finally be your husband. Tears started to form in the corners of your eyes as your emotions started to catch up with you, thinking about everything the two of you had gone through together, and how it had all led up to this moment. Frank’s lips brushed against your cheek as he bent down to whisper into your ear.

“You say the word, and I’ll get you outta here. No questions asked, yeah?”

Gripping a little tighter onto his arm, you leaned into Frank’s embrace as a shaky breath left your lips.

“Where would we go?”

“Wherever you want, darlin’. I could hide you places even he couldn’t find.”

You swore you heard Matt groan loudly on the other side of the door, and you couldn’t help but giggle as you dipped your head back to look up at Frank. Taking a deep breath in, you exhaled slowly through your parted lips and nodded with a soft smile.

“I’m ready.”

Frank gave a slight nod as he leaned in to kiss your forehead, dropping his left eye in a wink as he smiled.

“Attagirl.”

“Frankie?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Don’t let me fall, please.”

Frank wrapped his right arm tightly around your waist, holding onto your hand with his left one as he squeezed it gently.

“Never.”

»»———　　———««

“As absolutely beautiful as you are in this dress, it’s time for it to come off.”

“You don’t wanna leave it on?”

“I’d love to, sweetheart, but it’s kind of in my way. Besides, it’s so pretty, I’d hate to ruin it with all the things I wanna do to you, Mrs. Murdock.”

A soft gasp left your lips as Matt gently sucked on that sensitive spot on your neck below your ear, and you could feel him grin against your skin when your heart skipped. He had taken every opportunity throughout the evening to call you that, or refer to you as his wife. Every time it hit your ears, a buzz of serotonin flooded your bloodstream and left you hazy.

“And what, exactly, is it that you wanna do to me, Mr. Murdock?”

Matt’s fingertips brushed lightly along the exposed skin of your bare back, causing a shudder to course through you while his nimble fingers delicately tugged the zipper of your dress agonizingly slow down your back. His stubble tickled against your cheek as he nuzzled your jaw, inhaling your scent deeply while leaving open mouthed kisses down the column of your neck.

“Fuck a baby into you.”

Gripping tightly onto his suit jacket, you were suddenly taken back to that night over a year ago when he’d first made that promise, and his words from that night flowed through your ears. 

I’m gonna marry you someday, Y/N.

I will put a ring on your finger tomorrow. 

I will put a baby in you tonight.

A fresh wave of mixed emotions glossed over your eyes, and Matt slowly pulled back to stare blankly down at your face with an expression of concern as he cradled your face in his hand.

“What is it, angel?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

Matt tilted his head to the side slightly as his honey hazel eyes gazed down at you, tongue darting out to quickly wet his lips before they pulled into a timid smile.

“Was it the wedding you always wanted?”

Bringing your own hand up to cup Matt’s jaw, you pulled him in closer to touch your foreheads together as you whispered softly.

“Of course it was, Matty. You were the groom.”

Matt had been continuously asking you the same question all night, wanting to make sure you were absolutely happy with the biggest day of your lives. Honestly, it had been perfect. Karen had taken over as your unofficial wedding planner, and between her, Marci, and Elektra, you’d hardly had to lift a finger. Getting married in a church wasn’t a huge deal for you since you weren’t religious, but you knew how much it meant to Matt, and you offered to marry him in his church where his parents would’ve married. It was small and intimate, exactly what you both wanted.

The second you stepped through the open doors with Frank, Matt immediately started to cry. You were only a second behind him as soon as you saw him, the two of you gripping onto each other’s hands as Father Lantom led the ceremony, bringing everyone in attendance to tears as you exchanged your heartfelt vows. Matt had captured your lips in a deep kiss as soon as Father Lantom uttered his name, and he lightly smacked him over the back of the head with his bible to remind him that he was in church when the kiss started getting a little too heated for the house of God. Maggie had simply laughed, reminding Father Lantom that Matthew was indeed Jack Murdock’s son.

The reception was held at Josie’s where you had first met Matt over two years ago, courtesy of Karen. Foggy had drunkenly climbed onto the bar to deliver his best man speech which only drew further tears out of everyone from laughter by telling the most embarrassing story he could conjure about Matt from college, and also from the passionate gratitude he showered you in for making his best friend the happiest he had ever seen him.

Matt told me once he thought you were an angel created by God himself, and sent down from Heaven just for him, exactly when he needed you. I believe that’s true. There’s no other explanation for how perfect you are for him. Thank you for bringing my brother the happiness he’s always deserved. I love you both.

Karen could hardly contain her own tears as she spoke fondly about you and Matt, bringing even Frank and Jessica to tears with her sweet words.

I knew the night you met Matt that you loved him. I could see it in your eyes. Thank you for loving him the way that you do. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me as your best friend for you to end up with someone like Matt. Because I know he will take care of you, and protect you, and love you with everything he’s got, and I know you’ll do the same for him. I’m just so happy my two favorite people found each other.

“Today was the happiest day of my life. A day I never honestly thought would come, but I’m so happy it did, and I’m so happy it was with you. I wouldn’t change anything about it. I mean…apart from everyone offering to help you runaway, but.”

A loud laugh slipped past your ears at the annoyed look on Matt’s face, countered by the smirk that was threatening to spill across his lips. You gently squeezed his cheeks to purse his lips into a pout, leaning in to kiss them softly.

“You know they were joking.”

“No, Frank and Elektra were serious. They were actually gonna smuggle you out.”

Giggling softly, you shook your head as you leaned in to press your lips against Matt’s softly once more.

“Well I didn’t run, did I?”

Matt let out a deep exhale through his nose, shaking his head slowly as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“No. Still not sure why you didn’t.”

“There was cake.”

Matt rolled his eyes as he pushed himself up above you, and you giggled uncontrollably as you grabbed onto his tie to pull him back down towards you.

“I’m kidding! You know someone has to keep the Devil in line.”

Matt clicked his tongue against his cheek, narrowing his eyes slightly as he cocked his head to the side and stared down at you with a light smirk.

“That the only reason, then? Because you’re the only one that can?”

“I can think of a few more. Now, I thought you were helping me out of this dress?”

“I was.”

“Then be a good husband, Matthew, and help your wife.”

Matt’s eyes darkened considerably at the sultry tone of your voice, and a devilish grin took over his mouth as your beloved dimples settled in his inner cheeks. He was careful as he slipped the silk gown down your body, laying it carefully over the dresser before attacking your body with kisses once again. You frantically clawed at his jacket and dress shirt, blindly making quick work of his belt, already panting just from the idea of having your husband inside of you. There seemed to be a silent understanding between the two of you that neither of you had the patience for foreplay tonight, and all you both wanted in that moment was to be absolutely consumed by one another. 

As Matt settled between your spread thighs, a wash of nerves made you shiver, and you found yourself placing your shaky palm on his chest over his heart to get his attention.

“Matty…did you…are we…you really want a baby with me? Right now?”

Matt tilted his head in confusion as he let his eyes blankly wander over you, placing his palm flat on the pillow by your head as he leaned in closer towards you. You and Matt had been talking more seriously about starting a family after you got engaged, and you stopped taking birth control a few months before the wedding to make sure it was fully out of your system for when you two were ready to actually start trying.

“Of course I do. Why? Did you change your mind?”

“No! No no, it’s not that. I just…you aren’t going to miss it? I mean…the city means so much to you, Matty, and-”

“Hey, you mean the most to me. You’re the love of my life, sweetheart.”

You wrapped your fingers around Matt’s wrist as he held your face, nibbling at your bottom lip as you let out a shaky breath.

“I know, baby. I just…I know how much you need that part of yourself-”

“Not anymore. All I need is you. I’m still protecting the city, and the people in it, everyday. I’m still helping people. But New York doesn’t really need Daredevil anymore. It has people to protect it, like Luke and Jessica. And Colleen, Danny, even Frank and Elektra. You need me. And the one thing I care more about protecting and keeping safe is you, and our family.”

“I just don’t want you to wake up one day and regret hanging up the suit, or feel any kind of resentment-”

“Sweetheart, listen to me. I could never regret anything with you. How could I feel even an ounce of resentment when you’re offering to give me the greatest gift in the world that I’ll never be able to repay you for, hm?”

Matt carefully wiped a stray tear away from your eye as you reached up to gently grab onto the back of his neck, pulling him down so that his chest was flush to yours as you whispered softly.

“I just want to make you happy, Matty.”

“You do, angel. Everyday. You are my happiness. Now, can I please make love to my wife?”

Matt took his time as he entered you, peppering kisses on every inch of your body he could find, moving his hips lazily as he fucked into you slowly to ensure you both felt everything. Interlacing your fingers together, he held your hands above your head and squeezed them tightly, repeatedly whispering into your ear how much he loved you, how beautiful and perfect you were for him, and how badly he wanted you to give him a baby. Matt pulled your legs tightly around his waist, angling your hips to reach the most delicious depths within you, spilling his seed into the deepest layer of your garden to plant the foundation for the family you both so desperately wanted together. 

Neither of you could get enough, and Matt fucked you sweetly and slowly several more times into the early hours of the night until your bodies simply couldn’t take anymore. He refused to withdraw himself from you, keeping his soft cock nestled within you, preventing any ounce of your future he had emptied into you from slipping out as he wrapped his arms around you from behind. Matt placed his palm over your lower belly, absentmindedly stroking his thumb in slow circles over the first home your child would have.

“I love you so much, angel.”

“I love you so much, Matty.”

Matt was here. Matt loved you. Matt was yours.

tags: @yarrystyleeza @little-miss-dilf-lover @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042 @thychuvaluswife

[ruthlesslistener]

gdngjgkdklg watching you use science to completely wipe someone off the map like they're a doodle on a dry erase board is extremely entertaining and validating, this is the content i follow your blog for

It would be more entertaining if it wasn't for the fact that they keep claiming that gender bioessentialism wasn't an aspect of eugenics when it has been a tool of suppression/colonization/physical and cultural genocide for years. Obviously I can't speak for the countless native cultures who experienced (and are still experiencing) cultural oppression that prevents their gender system from being recognized as valid, but I can point out with certainty that it has happened, because I have heard them talk about it, and know that my field has been wrongly used for eugenics purposes. I also cannot speak for black women, but I've heard many of them speak about how they are alienated from the stereotypical definition of 'womanhood', and can see how black female athletes are subject to forced hormone treatments based on the old (AND COMPLETELY INACCURATE) assumption that they have more testosterone than a white woman. The forced binary of biological sex not only doesn't exist, it being tied to gender roles has historically been used as a means of control, and I know for a fact that white European settlers spread it because the homophobia intrinsic to it is in my own goddamn culture (Persian! I'm Persian!) even though it wasn't there a good few centuries ago. So sure, I'm white-passing, but I'm a biracial Persian man majoring in genetics with likely some form of intersex and/or internal structual problem with my sex organs that is causing me immense suffering irl, so being talked down to about my own personal struggles in a condescending fashion by someone who knows less than me about biology really fucking stings. And what's worse, what started off as me being joyful about my teacher sharing my fun in my special interest and being vocal about what is CORRECT vs what people WANT to think is now likely being passed around as laughingstock for other white gender critical fuckheads like them

Also like, I've been studying genes and evolution for literal years, I've been working on getting a degree in this subject for literal years, so I know what I'm saying and would never twist science for my benefit. And my professor has a pH.D in sex determination/expression so she KNOWS what she's saying and has been extremely vocal against shit like 'survival of the fittest' and the eugenics movement and how humans often don't apply to most modes of sex and how biology is NEVER a binary, so I'm mad for her sake lmfao. She did not put all of this work into her studies and all of this passion into teaching her classes and sharing her enthusiasm for how wild and wonderful and variable biology is for some fucker on the internet to claim that she doesn't know what she's doing and that she's being 'pressured' into changing the definition of sex in order to appease people's feelings.

(i mean i understand that its like arguing that the sky is green and that they're twisting my words in order for their worldview to seem logical, but aUGH this is MY special interest and I need to make sure that EVERYTHING is correct about the information being conveyed)

[lea-andres]

Hello again 👋☺️ just wanted to know if you’ve seen my latest au updates I made recently

also how many lgbtq 🏳️‍🌈 ships do you have in your fic cause I literally just started reading some of it both today and yesterday especially the part where tumble almost broke his hand punching bark

anyways I hope you’re having a good day 😊😉

Hi!

I've poked around some, and I'm gonna take more of a look when I'm done cooking dinner. You've got some neat stuff though! ☺️

As for lgbtq ship content in my fic... Really kinda depends on what you're looking for. Since I'm firmly of the opinion there's no such thing as a straight Sonic character (even if there are characters that are convinced they are... *stares long and hard at Fang*), not even the seemingly straight ships could classify as that. But we'll ignore Bark and Jewel and Fang and Mina for now. Here's a round up of all the other ships that will appear, in one form or another, in When the Day Met the Night:

-Whispangle - They've been together for years in this fic. They live together, they get a subplot where they're both planning to propose to each other on the same day, we might get a couple stories about Tangle's childhood as a disaster gay, from both her and from Jewel. We love to see it.

-Espilver - We never see Silver, and they're not together yet, but Espio's crush on the hedgehog gets discussed several times... even by the ninja detective himself later on in the fic... 👀

-SonJet - They're not together, but we find out later Jet has feelings and Amy's trying to help. (She's legitimately trying to help BTW, she's moved on from Sonic, so no sabotage here! Except for maybe self sabotage, because Jet is a disaster. 😂)

-Mightourge - We also, sadly, never see Scourge, but Mighty tells the tale of their love story to Jewel in a later chapter. They, like Whispangle, have also been together for some time. Also, if the tale sounds familiar, it's totally @mightourge 's tale of how they got together. 😂

-Cuorb - We'll only see them for like, a chapter and a half near the VERY END, but we've got gay robots! ☺️

-Shadfinite - IF YOU KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR, THERE'S THE TINIEST HINT OF SHADFINITE LMAO! I bet @bitter-sweet-coffee can find it! (It's in Chapter 5, Izzy! 😂) It's admittedly, a very vague line of dialogue, but we'll see more Shadfinite in my later fics. (This probably doesn't count, I just wanted to set off Izzy LOL)

-Donite (Don the Rooster and Nite the Owl) - We'll see them for a paragraph way later, but those are two gay birbs, you cannot convince me otherwise. They're husbands in this, we'll find out. 🥰

-Misc. OC ships: Rune's (@mightourge ) Sting the Wasp and Tough the Beetle, my Spinella the Spider and Mae the Red Panda... that's all I can think of right now OC wise. I might be missing someone. 🤔

The good news is WtDMtN's the first of a whole series I'm working on, so there will be pay offs to some of these hinted at ships and more ships that will follow in later fics. One hint for a future bit you might take interest in is Bark's cousin Crystal (a very butch jock lesbian, we find out) gets together with Fiona Fox eventually. 👀

I hope you're enjoying the fic! I had fun writing those Rough and Tumble fights. 😂

And I hope you're having a good day too! ☺️

[casspurrjoybell-28]

The Alpha's Addiction - Chapter 34 - Part 1

*Warning - Adult Content*

Rogue - Kao

Morgan, Oliver and I are walking to school together, with Xavier finally allowing the Beta to go places without him hovering like an overprotective parent.

Morgan claims it was annoying but I know deep down he really likes how attentive Xavier is to him.

He's so in love with Morgan I could vomit at how sweet it is.

Anyhow, we were successfully able to shake off the possessive Alphas today to have a morning together. 

All is fine and well when Oliver suddenly asks...

"Mama, what are those red marks on your neck?"

Morgan snorts, covering his mouth with a hand when I send him a warning glare.

"They're... they're mosquito bites, baby. Don't worry about them."

Gah, I should have worn a jacket that covered my neck more fully.

Cyrus hasn't yet mastered the art of restraining himself when I'm in his bed.

I've been going to his room occasionally after tucking Oliver in and last night he'd been ravenous, kissing and sucking all of my skin he could get to.

The hickeys he left on my inner thighs ache as I walk, rubbing up on each other with each step.

Despite the discomfort, I like the reminder that his mouth was on me.

I've been adamant about keeping at the least our undergarments on because I know if I see him naked again I'll want more than what we've done so far and I don't feel ready for that.

That doesn't stop my wolf from whining for our Alphas knot day and night, though.

But I've resisted and no more orgasms have ensued between us, except the time that Cyrus came into his pants after a heavy make out session.

I'd pulled back to look at him, telling him how handsome he was, running a hand through his hair.

The image of his lust-filled eyes as his core tensed beneath me is one I will treasure.

The way he pulled me in as his climax overtook him, crushing his lips to mine and rutting up against my ass...

Moon Goddess, he was too damn sexy.

"Is a certain Alpha, this so-called mosquito?" Morgan leers as Oliver looks between the two of us, evidently confused.

"Why would an Alpha be a mosquito? You guys are being weird."

I shoot an annoyed squint at Morgan that says 'I am so gonna get you back' but the Beta feigns innocence, shrugging his shoulders with wide eyes.

"I think our friend Morgan here is drunk," I smile sweetly at Oliver, who looks even further bewildered.

We've made it to the schoolhouse, other parents and pups filtering in from all directions.

"Hey, for one, I don't get sloshed at eight in the damn morning. Second, I'm a teacher. You can't say that at the literal school I teach at. Oliver, don't go around repeating your Mama's silly words."

Oliver gives us the stink eye.

"I think you're both drunk," he says before running off to Flora.

Morgan spanks me on the ass before following him.

I laugh in surprise, waving them farewell.

I linger outside near the tree line for a bit, pondering what I should do today before I meet Cyrus for training.

Sometimes I attempt to help Pack House staff with cleaning or cooking, as those were the main skills I was allowed to acquire at the Blood Pack.

But I can tell my presence makes them uncomfortable... their Alphas mate working alongside them was bound to be confusing.

I was neither his Luna, nor was I just any Omega.

Their behavior towards me was always careful and awkward.

I'm sad that my possible future people don't feel connected to me.

I mean, I am the sole one responsible for my ambiguous status.

Plus, socialization isn't exactly my forte, considering the first years of my life were occupied solely by Des and the preceding ones after he died I was ostracized by even my fellow Omegas for being a single teen-mother.

I've never been popular among crowds that I want to attract.

When I saw Beau the other day, laughing care-freely with a group of other Omegas in the dining hall, I felt a sting of jealousy.

How is it so easy for him?

Wouldn't the ideal Luna be one capable of that... of using their energy to create an enjoyable, cooperative community around themselves?

I'm nothing like that.

"Hello, Koa," Xavier's voice shakes me out of my spiral.

I couldn't be more thankful for his presence.

"It's been... an eventful morning," he admits with a sigh.

"An injured rogue was found near the Pack border during the first-light surveillance run. We brought him in to be treated at the hospital and offered asylum after Lonnie deemed him a non-threat."

"Oh, goodness," I raise my eyebrows in shock.

"Do you always let wolves in like that?"

"It doesn't happen often, so usually. The guy seemed lost and obviously wasn't doing too well."

This Pack really was too generous.

The Blood Pack would've left him to die without a thought.

They don't even care a whole lot for members of their own pack, much less a rogue.

They'd probably only take in an Omega but instead of being provided refuge, the poor thing would be put through hell on earth at the mercy of cruel Alphas.

"Was he badly hurt? Could he have been attacked?"

"He told us a band of rogues had raided his camp. He was a little scratched up but it was mainly malnourishment and dehydration that got to him. You'd think an Alpha could hunt for himself, though..." Xavier trails off in thought,and I jab him in the side.

"Hey, an Omega could too."

"Omegas usually aren't lone rogues," Xavier remarks pointedly.

"They're too coveted to live without protection."

"Or imprisonment," I'm tempted to add but I keep my mouth shut.

He doesn't need to be told that.

He probably thanks the Moon Goddess every night Morgan isn't one or he'd more than likely have been taken during the attack.

It was also lucky that it had been nighttime, so they couldn't see my friend's effeminate features and decide they wanted a carnal reward before they went on with their slaughter.

The thought makes me sick.

Alphas are such pigs.

Not mine, though.

Hopefully this rogue won't delay my training with Cyrus.

I miss him already.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (717): Sun 3rd Mar 2024

I checked out David Cross's latest special The Worst Daddy In The World and enjoyed it a lot. You wouldn't think from Cross's early work and how surreal it is that he would have transitioned into politically fuelled comedy but he really does have his finger on the pulse of the hotbed issues facing the american politcal landscape and skewers them brilliantly. I especially loved his routine about having his daughter making friends with a child who has been homeschooled by a right wing family. I can still remember in the days of Limewire downloading Cross's albums from the nineties and would listen to them frequently but I still haven't seen this stand up legend live. Since by the end of the year I will have pretty much seen all the bands I want to see I may start focusing exclusively on comedy gigs.

I'm delighted to report that this diet / exercise programme I took a holiday in order to devote my full attention to seems to be going well as I've almost lost a stone and feel a lot lighter and healthier too. Last year I tried a liquid diet but from what I've read these can be counter intuitive because although the stomach shrinks due to only consuming liquids once you start eating again you start to put on weight at an accelerated rate. So what I've done is began each day with a modest sixed meal first thing (a couple of veggie burgers or sausages) and THEN only stuck to water for the remainder of the day. So it's an almost all liquid diet so that my stomach is still used to getting solid food but more accustomed to liquids. I doubt that I will hit twelve stone before I go back to work but it doesn't really matter at this stage because now I've been doing it for long enough that I've started to see the results and this is providing an incentive to carry on. In the same way that I listen to songs about booze and sex to fill the gap in my life I have due to not having booze or sex today I decided to watch a bunch of videos about a guy who does epic food challenges. This one video I watched featured a guy with an enormous beard trying to eat a pizza the size of my bedroom rug in under forty five minutes and he actually completes it with plenty of time to spare. I watched a bunch of these videos and from what I can tell he has never failed one of these challenges so he's like the Goldberg of competitive eating and he still hasn't bumped into the food equivalent of Kevin Nash yet. I imagine the only way this guy will ever lose one of these challenges is if it's something really spicy. What's crazy is how skinny this guy is despite his job so I imagine he must do some sort of martial arts in order to maintain his relatively small frame. If this is true then I'd be terrified to roll on the mat with him a) in case the contents of his bowels just vacated out of him and all over me and b) in case he started feeling peckish during our sparing session and fancied a little nibble of my biceps.

Later on I checked out tonight's Hollyoaks and I have to admit I'm really pissed off that the show didn't have all the characters wear facepaint to pay tribute to Sting. I know they tape these months in advance but Sting announced his retirement six months ago so they cant use ignorance as an excuse. Even if they'd have just had Darren come down the stairs in the paint and yell "IT'S SHOWTIME FOLKS!" just as a bare minimum tribute to a legend who has literally zero association with this British soap opera. Anywho the main storyline was the fallout from Theresa sleeping with Abe. When Sally found out about this she told Theresa off and asked how she was going to fix it. I put the following hypothetical scenario on Twitter: Sally: You slept with Abe?! How are you going to make this right? Theresa: Well I was thinking maybe if I slept with him again, then… Sally: Think harder Theresa! Or at least I eventually did after I dug out my replacement laptop after covering my main one in tears after another Sting cry.

[battinscn]

DON’T BLAME ME — tom riddle x potter! slytherin! f! reader

CONTENT WARNING: blood/ death/ toxic/ angst/ brotherly conflict

SUMMARY: when your brother distances himself from you because of the house you had been sorted into, a certain slytherin swept you up in his arms and pieces your pieces back together.

WC/ AVG. READING TIME: 1465 words/ 7 minutes

A/N: the timeline/ storyline is a completely different in this one just to fit into the story.

return the the tom masterlist here

return to the reputation masterlist here

𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘪𝘯

"FLEAMONT, PLEASE," YOU tugged on your brother's wrist as you collapsed onto your knees.

you had just finished the welcoming feast and got sorted into slytherin.

"don't touch me," he spat, shaking you off his arm, "no sister of mine would ever be sorted into slytherin."

and here he was, throwing you off himself onto the cold floor, just because you were sorted into a different house from him.

you were on the floor in the middle of the secluded corridor, your slytherin tie suddenly too tight for your liking as you felt your throat closing in on you.

you struggled to loosened it as your eyes stinged with tears.

what you had not realised was that someone had witnessed the interaction between you and your brother.

'vulnerable and easily manipulated' that person thought with a smirk on his face.

"are you alright?" a boy you recognised from the platform earlier asked, holding a hand out to help you up.

"tom, tom riddle," the boy introduced himself with a devilish grin on his face.

𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘪 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦

"are you sure?" you frowned, "we shouldn't be here, even if you are a prefect."

"of course my love, i'm a prefect, we won't get caught." tom urged you to cross the barrier into the restricted section of the library.

𝘪 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦

"your grades have slipped ms potter," professor slughorn scolded as you rest your weight on one leg standing in front of him, trying to resist the urge to roll your eyes.

your grades were only declining because you were spending your time researching more about horcruxes.

𝘪 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥

"what's happening to you y/n?" fleamont stopped you while in the hallway, talking to you for the first time in months.

"as if you give a shit," you cursed.

fleamont's brows came to a furrow, you were never one to spew such lewd words like that. your father and mother had always reprimanded you whenever you were out of line or said something improper.

"y/n, stop messing around with riddle. he's bad influence."

"fuck you," you bumped shoulders with him and flashed him the finger when you saw tom behind fleamont.

"that's my girl," tom smirked proudly as he wrapped his hands around your shoulder, kissing the side of your head.

𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦

"watch where you're going mudblood," you seethed as the first year scurried to pick his things off the floor.

"s-sorry," the boy stuttered.

"yea, you better be," you scoffed as you walked away, not before kicking one of the gryffindor's books that was in your way to the side.

𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘦𝘴, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥

"tommy?" you called out.

"hmm?" he looked up from the book you had stolen from the restricted section.

"i've been hearing these voices in my head. they've been telling me things like eliminating mudbloods." you rubbed your temples, trying to ease the headaches you had been having recently.

"that's because it's your conscious telling you what you're meant to do." tom explained.

"oh. really?" you tilted your head sideways, "is that...a good thing?"

"of course it is my love," tom patted his lap and opened his arms for you.

what you did not know however, was that tom had recently mastered legilimency.

𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘰, 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯

you followed tom through the dark and grimey tunnels.

"where are we tommy? it looks awfully dodgy," you grimaced at the water dripping from above you.

the wind was suddenly knocked out of you and everything faded to black.

you woke up to see yourself floating above the ground in a foreign environment, a golden shimmer surrounding you as you were gently lowered back onto your feet.

you blinked hardly and saw a ravenclaw girl who's skin was a pale blue laying by yours' and tom's feet lifelessly.

𝘪 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘷𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪'𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘺

"w-what's happened tommy?" you panicked.

"not to worry my love, just know that you will always belong to me." tom's pupiles darkened.

"but i already did?" you looked up at him with confused innocent puppy dog eyes, and that was when tom knew that you were his greatest weakness and biggest strength.

𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺

"why can't nott do it? why must it be me?" you pouted as you followed tom around the malfoy manor.

"what have i said about whining?" tom sat by the foot of the bed.

"sorry, m'lord," you kneeled in front of him, resting on your calves.

"only you can kill fleamont, only he trusts you enough." tom crossed his arms, "unless you do not wish to prove your loyalty to me..." he trailed off.

𝘪'𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺

"no! of course not," you gasped as you shook your head, "i'll do it, i'll kill my brother."

"good girl," tom let your head rest on his thigh as he stroked your hair.

𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘦, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺

"y/n, we can talk this through, we can settle this. mother and father will forgive you, just lower your wand," fleamont trembled as you cornered him after disarming him with an expelliarmus.

"talk this through? you left me for shit when i got sorted into slytherin. i had to find where i belong."

𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘪𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯' 𝘪𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵

"this isn't you. tom corrupted you, he infiltrated your mind and is using you to rise to power. can't you see that?"

"you don't know anything about me. tom loves me." you held your wand to your brother's neck.

"you'll regret this," fleamont choked out, his throat gasping for air.

"no i won't." you whispered as you cast one of the unforgivable curses.

𝘪 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩, 𝘰𝘩, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯' 𝘮𝘦

"did i do a good job?" you dropped your brother's body in front of tom.

"absolute wonderful, my lady," tom praised.

𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦, 𝘰𝘩, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯' 𝘮𝘦

"thank you, my lord," you bowed as tom nudged his head to your bedroom upstairs, signifying he would show you just how well of a job you had done soon.

you practically skipped to the bedroom, your blood stained clothes in a pile on the floor, long forgotten.

𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘦, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺

you wrists were binded behind your back as you were walked down the corridors of azkaban prison.

you were thrown into an interrogation room where an auror interrogated you.

"why'd you kill your brother? your own flesh and blood. does the guilt not eat you alive?"

you remained silent.

𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘪𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯' 𝘪𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 (𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘪𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯' 𝘪𝘵)

"you were a beauxbatons student up until fourth year. always a brilliant student. what happened potter? i know this isn't your doing alone. help us catch riddle then we can get a plea deal."

you continued remaining silent.

by now the auror was growing impatient. head auror shacklebolt had been on his arse recently, threatening firing him if he did not catch riddle soon.

wanting a confession out of you, the auror had his hands raised, about to come in contact with your cheek when the doors to the interrogation room opened.

"shacklebolt wants a word with her," a man in a prison gaurd uniform informed.

"very well," the auror rereated his hand quickly for fear of being written up and nudged you roughly to stand up.

"go on then," the auror beckoned and collasped onto the chair he was sitting on dejectedly.

the prison gaurd gripped onto your arm and walked you through the prison.

another prison guard soon joined the two of you.

as you walked passed the window, the moonlight that shone through the glass reflected the two guards' facial features, revealing two men you knew too well.

𝘰𝘩, 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘥, 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦, 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺

"hello my lady," nott and lestrange tipped their head to greet you.

𝘪'𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯' 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦

"i told you you'd belong to me forever didn't i?" tom accepted your hug when nott and lestrange apparated you into the malfoy manor.

< previous track next track >

i did something bad delicate

join my taglist here!

tags: @pattnscn @haroldpotterson @itzjennieofficial @xangel76 @daddysfucktoyslut @eleventhboi

[solomonish]

If Mephistopheles Was My OC

so I know nothing about the new characters but something about Mephie has grabbed ahold of my heart. So, rather than waiting for canon content and details to come to me, I've decided to go on a big of a deranged rambling spree to tell you what I would do with good ol' Memphis Tennessee here if he were a creative writing prompt and not an actual canon character. Feel free to tell me what you think ;)

Mephistopheles is a demon of pride, only knowing a Devildom under the active rule of the now-slumbering Demon King for a few hundred years (so, barely the age you can remember things, let alone care about the political climate, if we're translating to human years). He's only known upset and uncertainty, speculation and rumors - an upheaval of traditions the whole of the realm held dear, but especially those in his family.

Growing up, Mephistopheles wasn't given a strict structure to follow. He was allowed to explore and befriend whoever he wanted, doted on by the staff of his noble family and his family itself while still being taught to have an ambitious spirit. Most of his family also consisted of creatures of Pride, with a few aberrations that were still just as welcome. Ultimately, he grew to be open-minded, industrious and inquisitive, fascinated with the vast network that was at his fingertips. He was also a bit rambunctious, but he had a winning, cheeky smile that usually managed to get him out of most trouble.

It wasn't until he was growing into a "teen" that he had to conform to the societal expectations of his noble family. He could spend less time with his friends with most of his time taken up by learning how to be a respectable nobleman, but he found himself not wanting to. The pride growing within him, latching onto every fiber of his being, was beginning to make him see how he didn't belong with the people who weren't on his noble level, demons disgraced with a sin uglier than his own. Still, he couldn't deny the sting when they told him to his face that they were done with dealing with his new finicky attitude.

He was no longer enchanted by the wonderous world given to him by a stroke of luck - he was deserving of every opportunity he was given. Journalism stuck out to him because he always loved writing, but he felt he could most effectively understand the world with all its complexities. He had an easy enough time talking to others and managing to get their honest opinions on the topics he asks them about. Mephistopheles became fixated on understanding the Devildom better than anybody else - even better than the Demon Prince, who he looked up to (as much as his pride allowed), if not thought he was a bit...oblivious.

However, nothing ground his ego into dust like people finding his stories boring. So he turned to sensationalized tabloid media, knowing exactly how to cater to the masses. After all, he understood what they wanted. He was a voice of the people without actually having to listen to them.

The exchange program was something he watched play out with skepticism. Such revolutionary ideas were things he was taught to reject, and by this point he had been replaced by Lucifer and hated how close he seemed to be with Diavolo. Mephistopheles is not a purist by any means - he holds the title of "ex-angel" against the brothers over personal grievances, rather than the concept of them not being "pure blooded." However, it seemed to him that whatever the Prince was doing was stupid and a disgrace to the Devildom.

His interest in MC stems from wanting to pick their brain, to understand them better than anybody. Not only would that reaffirm his views on himself and get under Lucifer's skin, it's obvious MC is often talked over and overlooked despite how lovesick all the brothers are - a weakness he wants to exploit. But MC proves that the world is more complicated than that, and it irritates him how they keep proving that again and again.

He also wants to get insider info that will help him get his place back as leader of the Newspaper club. Enough stellar stories might make it impossible for Lucifer to refuse him.

(there's more but my hands are getting tired sob)

tl;dr - Mephie is an arrogant noble blinded by his sin, but he truly finds a fascination with the complexities of the world. He chases the truth, though he acts as if he already knows it, and he denies the part of himself that yearns for a world like when he was younger, one where he could befriend anybody (then it was lower-class demons of other sins, now it includes those from the Celestial and Human Realm). He wants the exchange program to succeed, but he thinks he doesn't because of his own personal grudges and upbringing. IDK i just wanted to make him a bit of a sadboy. A conflicted, well-intentioned arrogant boy.

(subject to change/be expanded upon i just wanted to ramble)

[volexis]

my favorite ghost; sakusa x gn!reader

summary: sakusa loved you, and he was sure you loved him too. over time he’s come to know love is fickle, always ready to dissipate at the drop of a hat or the proposition of one all-important question.

warnings: fluff to angst, implied break-up, mentions of past relationships, proposals

wc: 1.6k

note: general taglist is open, send an ask or fill out my form to be added!

a/n: here's some angst since it's my birthday today! i've had this drafted for months now, i tried something new here so it took me a while to actually gather the courage to post it but yeah this was the fic idea from a poll i made like a billion years ago!

Sakusa didn’t expect to enjoy his mornings with you, nor did he expect them to become his favorite part of the day. No matter how the night started, by the time sunlight streamed through the windows, he’d always find you encased in his arms. On the days he woke up before you, which tended to be a more common occurrence, he’d take the time to really look at you. He’d take in the unusual sort of gentleness that consumed your generally placid features. Sometimes, he’d catch a thinly veiled smile on your lips and wonder what you were dreaming about to have given you that grin. Most of the time, he’d leave the bed before you could open your eyes. Before he could cave in and take the chance to ghost his lips over yours. Today wasn’t one of those days. You stared back at Sakusa as he all but jumped away from you in his fright, half-embarrassed to have been caught looking at you so unabashedly.

Before you could open your mouth and ask the undoubtedly teasing question that rested on your lips, Sakusa asked a question of his own.

“Are you busy this Friday?”

You blinked owlishly at your boyfriend and quirked an eyebrow. “Well, good morning to you too,” you whispered into the air between the two of you, voice slightly hoarse and threaded with remnants of sleep.

“Good morning, my love,” he relented after making a point to exaggeratedly roll his eyes, but not before pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. “You still haven’t answered my question, though.”

At his words, your eyes lost the playful glint they carried. Whatever caused the shift strung a weight in his chest and made his stomach plummet.

“I don’t think I am. What’re you planning?”

You paired your words with a desperately bright grin. Sakusa said nothing and sent you a cheeky smile of his own, hoping it was enough to mask the sudden sting of fear in his heart. He rolled out of your shared bed, chuckling lightly as your indignant protests followed him out of the room. He never revealed his plans, no matter how much you tried to trick him in the days that followed. He always chose to send you a ridiculously charming grin in response and promising that you’d know soon.

Sakusa was unbearably obvious, in his eyes at least. He’d never say it outright; the words weighed far too heavy in his mouth to ever escape. The way his eyes trailed your figure with a sickeningly saccharine fondness spoke volumes in his stead. Fortunately for him, you were oblivious to the way your boyfriend radiated absolute adoration in your presence. Though not everyone else was.

“So, Omi-kun, when’s the wedding? Seeing you all so lovey-dovey is making me sick." Atsumu mimed a nauseous expression, grinning at his teammate’s callous, unimpressed glare.

“First of all, my romantic engagements are none of your business, and second," he paused to riffle through his gym bag, lifting his prize for the blond to see. “You wouldn’t have been invited to the wedding, anyways.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened as he blinked slowly, momentarily stunned. A smug grin split his face as he wolf-whistled.

“Congrats, Omi Omi, I didn’t think you had it in ya.” He clapped his back, much to the annoyance of the former, before leaving the changing room.

The blond’s words left a sour, indignant taste in Sakusa’s mouth. He was not the type to lack courage given his silent yet almost teasing demeanor, but the tiny box in his pocket haunted him. It sent anxiety spiking through his nerves every time you reached too close, breached his most climacteric secret. Yes, Sakusa had plenty of bravery and will, but he lacked one thing. Patience.

“Where are you taking me?” You lightly tug at the cloth that covered your eyes, laughing as he immediately swats your hands from the blindfold in response.

“You’ll see when we get there,” came an obnoxiously indifferent reply from somewhere up ahead. You could feel the smirk on Sakusa's lips without having to look. His dodgy words did nothing to quell the swirling butterflies swarming your stomach. Nor how they fluttered in time with every exhilarated beat of your heart. His hands felt far too warm in yours as he guided you through an undisclosed area. You vaguely hear what could’ve been a car in the distance, the familiar noise prompting more questions than answers.

“We’re here,” he whispered into your ear, lips dangerously close. Your skin prickled deliciously with embarrassment, but you chose to ignore the feeling to take off the dark fabric tied over your eyes.

Before you lay a quaint picnic blanket nestled between broad trees. Thin lights were strung on its branches, illuminating the modestly charming set-up beneath them. Assorted snacks were carefully placed on the blanket with enough space to comfortably sit and eat.

“You mentioned a while ago that you’ve always wanted to go on a picnic. So, I thought now’s a good time as any.”

His words were quiet and surprisingly bashful. You couldn’t help but smile as you pull him down to sit with you, quickly reaching for whichever treat caught your eye.

Sakusa sat before you, methodically fiddling with the worn lining of his jacket. The ring burns a hole in his pocket, weighing down on his heart and sending anxiety creeping up his throat. He couldn’t do anything but smile as you rambled, seemingly unbothered by his lack of participation.

Was now a good time? Would there ever be a good time? He worked his hand into his pocket and fiddled with the ring. Flipping its box open and shut with every thought that streamlined through his mind. The box tumbled out of his jacket before he could make a choice, landing on a platter between the two of you. Your words quieted at the sight of it as you stared at it, then at him.

“This… this isn’t exactly how I planned it, how I planned to propose to you,” Sakusa spoke up before you could. He picked up the box from where it lay and gathered himself into a semblance of a kneel, the best he could do while on the filmy, slippery blanket.

“I wanted to take you to that restaurant you like first, buy you flowers, walk through the streets as the sky darkens. Take you to your favorite park, the one where we met, and then I’d propose. I wanted nothing less than perfection because you mean the world to me. Before I met you, I never really understood what it meant to love so fiercely you’d give the world, paint the sky, wring the stars, just to see them smile. Now, I know what it’s like to love someone with everything that I am. You’re everything I could ever want, everything I’ve longed for, and infinitely more. I love you more than words could ever possibly dream of encompassing. Anything I say would pale in comparison. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you make me if you let me.”

His voice faltered, the tear-stained smile stretched on his lips mirroring your own. When did he start crying? When had you started crying? It didn’t matter, not really. You were and will always be the most beautiful person Sakusa has ever known, regardless of how you look.

“So please, tell me you’ll say yes.”

You couldn’t trust your voice, not with the way tears freely coursed down your cheeks and into your mouth every time you tried to speak. You nodded, laughing softly at the relieved grin on his face once you slipped the ring onto your finger. Sakusa’s eyes softened as he reached to cup your cheeks and pull you in to press a kiss to your nose, cheekbone, wherever he landed first. He chuckled into your lips as you fisted his shirt and pulled him even closer. His eyes fluttered shut at the taste of sparkly citrus and the feeling of your tongue swiping against his.

Honeyed lips on his melted into the ardent warmth of sunlight, breathing kisses on his skin. Sakusa never expected he would have to get used to mornings without you, longing for your touch. Coming to terms with the gut-wrenching reminder that it was nothing but a dream. It was the gleaming proposal he longed for. The one he wished he could’ve given you instead of hushed, awkward confession whispered into the night while he held a ring between shaking fingers. It’s no wonder you said no. The look in your eyes was sickeningly sorrowful, almost apologetic. It reminded him he would never be enough for you.

Your face now seemed turbid at best, glossed over and all but forgotten in the balmy morning haze. Sakusa wished he could forget you, what you were, what the two of you had together. The ring still sits heavy on his nightstand. Next to his clock, next to where a framed picture of your wedding should have been.

Sakusa could never hate you for it. If his love were enough, you’d still be here with him. The fact was glaringly obvious, at least in his eyes. Your presence never fades, not with the weaning sunlight or the occasional breeze that rushes along. It’s phantasmic in the way it lingers sweetly yet heaves a bitter taste onto his tongue all the same. Your memory, everything about you, would always be his favorite ghost.

© all content belongs to volexis 2020-2021, do not repost or reproduce onto any socmed platform. do no plagiarize and or copy the aforementioned content

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Hey, after more than a year of following BTS and Jikook, I'm at a stage where I don't feel the need to know JM and Jk's relationship status, and I've stopped spending so much time on them, but I still like reading your blog because I have strong sentiment for Jikook / BTS. And it seems like this feeling will never go away.

In the first months of 2020, I pretty much forced myself to spend less time on jikook and BTS, up until dynamite was released. There was not much jikook to spend time on anyways, nothing actually happened between them, quarantine started so nothing was going on with BTS either, etc.

Last year tho I started feeling the same as you. Like I wasn't as anxious or determined to know or to have any confirmation anymore.

Honestly, that kind of resignation only came after a period where I was really concerned with it and extremely hurting, in a way? You know that photo of JK with Taehyung's ear in his mouth... I didn't know that picture, never had seen it until 2020. There was a blog that I think it's closed now who kept bringing it up and seeing that picture actually made me upset. Seeing it just kept making bigger the feeling that something like rose bowl could happen with anther member. I don't remember the months but it was during 2020, and because I had taken a step back, and because of blogs like that one, and because of things that happened with the members, I started seeing a bigger picture in terms of JK and skinship and stuff like that. Jikook lost a bit of magic for me during those days and it was then that I started feeling like "it is what it is". Maybe there's something there, maybe there's not.

It was very timely tho because the way things have been going on, it's quite possible that we will be seeing JM and/or JK gravitate towards other people more and maybe develop some level of intimacy with others, if we go by some vmin and taekook interactions, more especifically taekook's interactions the past few months.

That's how I felt in 2020, but you might've noticed that it takes me a while to actually reach important conclusions and content is released so late that I only really started seeing that change around mid 2021 and it still stings a little. Maybe it will hurt for a bit more but as the quote goes, this too shall pass. I'm talking about the pang of things changing, change is always a bit uncomfortable at first, but it'll settle. It's not pain because I will sudden start thinking that they hate each other or something.

I'm still really curious about them anyways, because I'm nosy and I've been here for a very long time and I would like to see where it goes. But last year I really made my peace with the possibility that I could be wrong about thinking they're a couple, or even if they actually are a couple, made peace with the fact that it will progressively be less obvious and they will maybe get closer to other people. And I agree that it seems like this feeling won't go away. Like it won't get "worse", but it won't necessarily get "better" either.

I'm also still hooked on BTS as artists, so it's hard to not pay attention to jikook because I'm still paying attention to BTS. They will lose me if they keep doing the bare minimum and the bad songs tho 🚶🚶🚶

[socctime]

Croods: A New Age Spoilers!!!

Ok, so I just watched this for the first time a couple days ago and I've rewatched it a few times since. But honestly I don't really like how the relationship issue between Guy and Eep plays out.

Also I would like to point out the ages I found for them puts Eep and Guy, BOTH at 19 years old

I get he was in the wrong for some of his comments, but Eep doesn't own up to doing anything wrong at all. It's all on guy to say "Sorry it was my fault." and take full responsibility.

The first thing that could be considered hostile/passive aggressive is when Guy recommends trying the shower, the first time, when we see it played out it comes out more like "I really enjoyed this thing/experience and I want to share that with you." but when he's remembering it later on it's with a much more condescending tone. I don't know if that was supposed to be how he thought it might have sounded or if it was to try and make more of a jerk so he was deserving of Eep snapping at him?

The next big thing is when Guy catches Eep and Dawn trying to sneak back in after their joy ride. It has literally been one day since they arrived, and Eep has already broken a rule of the Bettermans (even though they are kinda shitty and manipulative but they don't know this yet) by taking Dawn outside of the wall. Guy is upset and frustrated, because the Bettermans made it clear that they only built the wall for protection after what happened to Guy and his parents. So in his eyes it's reasonable to stay inside, and he's probably worried about how the Bettermans will react if they find out what happened.

Also once Guy finds out that Dawn had a very severe bee sting after one joy ride outside the wall, he gets more exasperated when Eep keeps insisting that it's fine despite the fact that Dawn is clearly not ok. When Guy berates her after Dawn almost passes out, saying it wasn't smart and Dawn could've been seriously hurt, and that Eep needs to think about these things, Eep gets upset.

She deflects by asking Guy why he's acting how he is, doesn't he like adventure? Guy responds that no he likes not dying, and things are different now. (most likely because he feels more safe than he has been in a while, with literally traveling by himself since his parents died and the constant danger the Croods were in we were shown in the first part of the movie)

Eep then explains that Dawn needed to get out, that she's just like her, and the walls are her cave. Mind you Guy hasn't really talked to Dawn at all that we've been shown just followed her around and helped with her chores a bit, he seemed to mostly just explore the tree house. Eep doesn't really go into further detail other than her and Dawn grew up similar. Guy, who has just been told that not only did they go on a joy ride outside, but Dawn was injured in that short time and Eep keeps insisting everything is fine, snaps and says Dawn and Eep are not similar because Dawn isn't a Cave Girl.

Now I do think Guy could have phrased it better or handled it a bit different, I don't think he meant Cave Girl in a derogatory way, but it came across that way. I think he meant it more as in Dawn isn't as tough as you are but it came out more hurtful. Eep then decides once Guy brings Dawn up in the elevator she'll give him a Cave Girl

Guy probably not wanting to get anyone in trouble tries to hide the fact that Dawn is injured, first by trying to avoid the dinner table altogether then by sitting next to her at the table to try and hide her hand/the bee sting from sight. Eep then finishes climbing the tree after Guy and is hostile towards Guy. Which I get she was hurt by his words, but after confronting Guy about how he sounded and what's wrong with Cave people? He says "There's nothing wrong with Cave people."

Eep is very passive aggressive here after eating quite messily/ breaking a jug after drinking all the contents. When Guy asks why she's acting that was she claims to be acting like a Cave Girl, then claiming that it's not good enough for him anymore, which Guy immediately denies.

Phil then cuts in about the "deal" he and Grug made about the Bettermans keeping Guy while the Croods keep Eep and leave. Then a whole argument between both families break out, Guy tries to cut in but gets yelled at by everyone. After a bit more shouting Grug tells Guy to get up because they're leaving.

Guy in disbelief repeats that Grug wanted to get rid of him, but now wants to bring him with? Grug then (poorly) defends that Guy wanted to take his daughter away, throwing the promises Guy had made to Eep early on in the film back in his face. Guy reasonably pissed says to Grug "there is no privacy with you people." Eep then cuts in "Cave People?" Which Guy quickly responds "That's not what I said." He then says things are better now, which Eep seems to take offense to. He clarifies not starving, and no sleep pile, when asked to clarify the sleep pile he yells that it reeks.

(The only sleep pile previously shown in the movie showed his discomfort with it before he goes to sleep. Upon waking up in the morning it's shown he was squished under Chunky and he groans "Another glorious morning," before getting stepped on by Chunky.)

Eep takes offense to the diss on the sleep pile, and then says at least she smells like herself and she doesn't know what Guy smells like. Claiming she doesn't even know who he is anymore. Eep then says that it's this place, and before she can think of a proper work for how much she hates it Guy says "It's home!"

Guy says it's Tommorow it's what his parents wanted him to find! Eep declares she clearly doesn't belong in this Tomorrow, and that she's leaving asking if Guy is coming with her. He says he can't, in a small voice, Eep then returns his proposal rock and leaves.

Once again!! They have been at the Bettermans house/farm/compound for a SINGLE DAY!!! Guy has just been reunited with his long lost family friends, he feels safe and clean, for the first time in a long time probably. Life on the road with the Croods is still very dangerous, and he is not built as durable as they are, and he knows this! If the time at the Bettermans had been more drawn out over the course of a few days or weeks Eep's argument would work better. As it stands it's been a single day and Guy also just learned that Grug still doesn't like him enough to not try to give him up the first time someone asks for him.

When Guy is cooling down from the argument he even says he's been staying with the Croods for a while, and I'm going to assume based off what he says to himself. That he generally likes to keep clean, and the Croods don't really do that. So after however long of traveling he's somewhere he can wash up, relax and not worry about predators or dying suddenly, a single day later he learns Grug is trying to get rid of him Eep doesn't care about the consequences of her actions, the Croods want to leave and nobody will hear him out. The Betterman adults are manipulative, Grug doesn't like him enough to not get rid of him, (he didn't really interact with Ugga this movie). He literally has nobody in his corner except for Dawn, kinda, she tries to understand why Eep suddenly says Guy is too different from herself to get along with. Dawn points out that herself and Eep are different but they get along, so why? Eep avoids answering and says it's complicated. Guy after moping in captivity for a bit realizes he was an ass and has flash backs of things he said to Eep. Except they're in a completely different tone of voice or completely lacking context, making it seem like they really wanted him to be solely in the wrong by the end of the movie.

So in the end Guy apologizes and makes up with Eep. But she never ever thinks about what she did, like none of the rules she applied to Guy apply to her? Like he got upset after Dawn's bee sting, and calls Eep a Cave Girl in a tone of voice that sounds derogatory, he's in the wrong, and she has a reason to be upset. But when she upsets him with words or actions, or purposefully taking his words out of context to make him upset or confused, he's not justified in being hurt or angry, he is still in the wrong. I just don't think it's really fair, I would feel different if there had been more effort on Eep's side to also make amends or at least it wasn't portrayed as Guy is the only wrong one.

I do think Guy and Eep are cute together, but it just made it seem they aren't on equal footing or whatever it's called.

I hope this makes sense, it got a bit rambly.

[pinkpaganofficial-blog]

Content and trigger warnings for:

- eating disorder[s] (eds), i.e anorexia, bulimia

- me talking about my suicidal thoughts and venting (I'm ok i just need to like... "word vomit" i guess)

- abandonment by friends

- feeling repression

~~~\\

So i doubt most people on here who follow me know that I suffer from mental illness but I do and have for a very long time. All of the symptoms and effects really came out after my grandfather/best friend passed away when I was 11, 12 years ago. I fell into a hole of depression, anxiety, and disordered eating. From the time I was 11 until I was around 14 I had a very hard time with food. I was suffering from bulimia and I would do the routine binges and purges I had set for myself through the day. I'm surprised my teeth survived all of the stomich acid assaults on them honestly.

I was lonely. I felt so fucking alone in the world. I didn't have many friends. The friends I had were pretty fairweather at the time, as we were kids. They'd hop to the coolest person in their opinions on sight and leave me in the dust, and then come back when they were done, or something happened, whatever. It wasn't stable, and I was always afraid of just being deserted again. My friend who stuck with me, my grandfather, was gone. My grandmother was so in shambles that she doesnt even remember the year after he died at all. My mother is chronically ill, and even though she is and will always be there for me as long as is possible I just couldn't tell her how bad I was feeling. Maybe it was guilt because she has problems that I felt far outweighed mine (haha oh god there's the tears that actually stings).

And my dad is... well.. a dad. Sometimes dads just don't understand things like mental illness, or being an unwell person. My dad loves me. I know that, and I love him a lot too. But he can't understand how these things affect me as he's basically neurotypical in every way. He tries. But I can't find empathy there, and a lot of the time there's misunderstanding when we talk about mental illness. So I didn't tell him anything then either.

I would stay in my room a lot, or be out in the woods a lot. I would scratch up my arms with my nails until they would bleed and I would cry. I felt like I didn't care if I died at that time. My parents raised me religiously in the church and I tried very hard to have a relationship with their concept of a god. But I couldn't because to me in was just emptiness. For me, in that sense, there is nothing there. So my loneliness was running even deeper than just the physical. It was spiritual as well. And idk if anyone reading this has experienced spiritual emptiness, or even is a spiritual person, but please believe me when I say it's Hell.

When I was 14 I rode my bicycle out to a bridge near my home out in the back woods type country. The old train bridge kind with the big cement blocks at the bottom of the pillars holding them up. I remember sitting on the very edge of it just looking down at the cement. I really wanted to jump. Honestly the only reason I didn't was because of my mom. She's the reason I stepped back, got on my bicycle and rode home. Albeit I was crying the whole way home, stayed out in the garden to finish crying, washed my face in the creek and went inside and straight upstairs to my bed and I slept until the next day.

When I was around the end of being 14 I tried repression. I started trying eating normally (which has wrecked me internally, I have major digestive problems as I've always refused to go to a rehab centre, which in itself is not good for me). I started pretending to have a relationship with "God". I tried the whole "cool hip Christian kid" spin from when I was that age until 17 or so. I pushed back my depression, my fears and anxieties and eds to see if I could be happy. And I pretended to be happy for a while. And I fooled a lot of people.

Things weren't by any means okay though. My school work was suffering as it always had, but since the work was harder it was also suffering harder. I picked up smoking cigarettes. I also picked up alcohol more and more. I dated a 21 year old and lost my virginity to him at 16, after much coaxing from him. That was an extremely bad 8 months.

My saving grace and my recharge at the time was a Bible camp I'd attend in the summers. I went for 12 years. Now that I think about it.. that camp was my only constant thing for a very long time. It was always there. And even when it wasn't camp time, the place was so close I could just go talk to the live in managers when I had questions. While my relationship with a god I don't believe in was strained and a facade, the people I met are amazing and have helped me a lot.

In fact, at that camp I spilled a lot of my struggles to my group of close friends. We were just a few girls, only 17 or so. But they had all been through things just as bad as me. Some so close it scared me. I felt accepted by those girls who are now beautiful strong women. So I opened the flood gates of what I had been through. All of my dark times and feelings, thoughts of dying and plans to do it, the bulimia and how it hurt my body, my 21 year old ex and what had happened to me, my struggles in school, my guilt towards my mother as her pregnancy with me put her in her wheelchair, my panic attacks and the anxiety that I'd felt for so long, my loneliness and my desperate want to not be alive. Basically just like, ALL of it. I don't really think that was a gate I could've closed even if I tried at that point. It was just a lot.

It took a while to talk about everything, and by the time I'd covered everything even more young folks like us had come over to sit. I was sobbing. My friends weren't very far behind either. Someone was rubbing my back and another person brought me tissues. I finished and everyone was kinda quiet and sad. One of my friends said "Hey can we all just kinda sit together and pray?" and I said that I thought that was a good idea. So we sat. And we just prayed. Even if they were words floating up to an empty space where I see no god, the solidarity that I felt with my friends and those around showing that they cared about me was overwhelming. I wasn't alone. I had friends. REAL friends who weren't looking for the next best thing. And I didn't feel as empty anymore. Knowing that I had people who genuinely cared for me and everything I'd been through and everything I was made me feel so much more worthy of living, it showed me I wasn't nothing.

A lot has happened since those dark times. I've had other dark times. Anorexia claimed me at 18 as a sufferer, and I still struggle with it to this day. I had a physically and emotionally abusive sociopathic partner in the Autumn of my 21st year. I had a whole 2 year ordeal with someone that I'm not even going to talk about, as this person and I have BOTH put it behind us and forgiven each other and are now friends. I alsp dropped out of high school in grade 11.

But I've had a LOT of light times. I started actively loving my body at 21, which was the first new constant in my life. I took action and got a breast reduction from G to C cup for my health at 18. I left the church and started understanding science better. The spiritualist in me called for more, so I delved into research on Paganism and Wicca. What I found was what I needed. It was the second new constant I needed. So now instead of 1, I had 2.

I live with my fiance now. He's someone who I was schoolmates with in highschool. After a few years of not keeping in touch, we hung out. We got close again. And after a few years we started dating. We've had bumpy patches. 1 break up due to his mental illness (again, it rears its ugly head). But that was short lived. And we are actively improving ourselves while being there for one another. Last March I asked him to marry me to which he said "Well, I was gonna ask you when we got our own place, so obviously yes." (I've dated a lot of people, so I am so happy that it was him I'm going to be with, no offense to any of the guys, girls and other folks I've been with and am friends with). He's my third constant.

I have so much more now than I ever dreamed I could in those dark times, friends.

Moral of the story is:

Friends come and go. But you'll find someone, or multiple people who will care about you enough to stick with you as much as you wanna stick with them.

Don't give up on yourself. You're gonna have a lot of bad times. Life happens and we can't do shit about it. But life also has a lot of really good times worth looking forward to and holding close to heart. You can love yourself no matter who you are or what you look like because you're more than a name or a number on a scale. You're a complex person with real feelings who is worthy of self love. And love from others too.

Pain sucks. Life can suck a whole fucking lot. So much you want it to end. But through all the struggle, the hurt and the mental illness, you still very much deserve a good life. If not more, because you're actively trying to enjoy being alive in a very hard time.

So yeah. Thanks for reading this. I just needed to talk. I felt like I was going to explode and my Instagram isn't really the place to put this.

Take care of yourselfs. Cherish yourself and your time here. Make the best of your situations as much as you can. Hold your loved ones close in mind and heart. And don't be afraid to talk.