#but to have an entire show in which all the leads r available and it was just given to understudies anyway??

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

before this goes any further, I want it on the record that you all asked for this.

my first and most petty point: Midnight Mass gets basic details about Catholicism wrong, such that even I (not a Catholic) twigged them. The big one is that Catholics DON'T HAVE MIDNIGHT MASS FOR EASTER - it's a Christmas thing - but since the priest holding the mass is also a vampire, I can accept that he's going off-book. I have a harder time with them holding a PICNIC for ASH WEDNESDAY, aka THE DAY LENT STARTS, aka the day everyone starts fasting and are therefore not snacking on a potluck. It's a minor thing, and normally I wouldn't pick at it, but since this show ostensibly revolves around Catholic doctrine, it bears mentioning.

on a writing level, not one single character in this show talks like a human being. or acts like one. I couldn't give you any information about who these characters are as people, because they're not people, they're mouthpieces for Flanagan to impart his ideas to the audience. He is both deeply in love with his own writing and entirely unconvinced that his audience is smart enough to Get It, so he has his actors turn to the audience and lay it all out. Not only is this bad writing on a character level, it brings all plot and tension to a screeching halt whenever it happens. The most unintentionally hilarious instance of this has to be when Annabeth Gish comes to the sheriff to tell him that the church is being run by a vampire and her mother is aging in reverse, and his response is to start rambling about where he was on 9/11. Like. Nothing about this makes sense, and also why should we care when it has fuckall to do with the story?

(as regards the sheriff character: I, a white Quaker, am not the person to critique this show's handling of Islam. But I will say that Flanagan doesn't seem to have a clear idea what he wants to communicate: the overarching plot is antitheistic, in a very r/atheism sort of way ("WHAT IF THE SACRAMENT WAS VAMPIRE BLOOD" ooh wow didja cut yourself on that edge there, buddy) but Flanagan has no idea how to balance that with the precepts of any religion that isn't Christianity while also maintaining his broadly liberal bona fides, so it all sits very uneasily next to the church plot. I'm not advocating for the show to go full Christopher Hitchens, but I am saying that if Flanagan wants to posit that faith is a mass delusion and a net detriment to any community formed around it . . . he needs to either focus only on Christian characters or be willing to engage with how other religions function in society, because as is, the storyline with the sheriff and his son just peters out into nothing.)

but the thing that made me angriest - that took me from "this is so boring and pretentious and badly written" to "oh FUCK this guy and the horse he rode in on -" was the titular midnight mass. It is very overtly inspired by the Jonestown massacre, which a lot of horror media does, but what it fails to account for is that the members of the People's Temple did not voluntarily kill themselves. I know "drink the kool-aid" has entered the popular lexicon as shorthand for "blindly following a leader," but extensive testimony from Jonestown survivors - not to mention the death tape, which is available online if you really want to ruin your day - all confirms that the people who died that day were forced to drink poison at gunpoint, after years of brutal abuse from Jones and his inner circle. And even after all of that, people fought back. And not outsiders - people who had been in the Temple for years and wholeheartedly believed in the mission that had lead them to Guyana in the first place. (Christine Miller was a fucking hero and she deserves to be remembered for it.) Jonestown was not lemmings going off a cliff, and any serious take on the story would involve reckoning with that - that these people believed in a higher power and also believed that they had a right to live despite what Jones told them. But that would contradict Flanagan's point of "religion is dumb, WAKE UP SHEEPLE," so instead he borrows the iconography of a truly horrific tragedy and disrespects the victims by implicitly representing them as dumb, brainwashed cult members who eagerly toss back poison because they think sky daddy wants them to. He has so little respect for the subjects he's portraying, and the real people whose deaths he is copying for shock value, that he doesn't care about the inner lives of anyone whose beliefs might demonstrate that faith is more nuanced than his screed would have you believe.

There are good horror properties out there that are critical of religion and society - The Medium, which we posted about a few days ago, is one. The Witch is another. So is The Sudbury Devil. Hell, you could go back to the sixties with Witchfinder General. Religion - especially socially dominant religions like Christianity in the west - can and should be critiqued. But Midnight Mass is too sloppily written to be a critique of anything besides, accidentally, how far Mike Flanagan's head is shoved up his ass.

Anyway, that's why mod L doesn't like Midnight Mass. I did warn you.

[bridenore]

HP longer fics recs : more than 200k words

Here are a few longer fics recs. Posted in alphabetical, order as always.

Black, in the Smothering Dark by @lol-zeitgeistic [101k]

Harry Potter is rescued from the Dursleys and spends the summer with his god…father? This is the prequel to The Hush of War. Beta’d by giesha_kitten/laureen.

The Hush of War by @lol-zeitgeistic [351k]

Voldemort has made a bargain with Harry to stop killing muggles and muggle-borns (when at all possible, of course) in exchange for Harry’s cooperation. While Harry thinks he’s using the time to find a way to defeat the Dark Lord, he will realize that Voldemort is always one step ahead, and so long as he isn’t killing anyone…what’s the big deal? He has bigger things to worry about now, anyway. Includes dementors, pureblood culture, the prophecy, what exactly happened with Lily’s sacrifice, magical breakthroughs, children Death Eaters, and portraits of family. Final pairing: H/D. Sequel to Black, in the Smothering Dark.

Can’t Get You Out of My Head by @femmequixotic [14k]

After he sees Harry Potter naked in the Auror showers once, Draco can’t stop thinking about him.

Lost In Your Arms by @femmequixotic [257k]

Three months after their brief encounter, Draco has almost forgotten about Potter–or so he tells himself. Then a Dark wizard shows up on the Auror radar and all hell breaks loose. Draco will have to choose between everything he holds dear–everything he’s worked so hard for–and a few stolen moments of passion with a certain green-eyed Inspector, once his sworn enemy and now something rather different entirely. He’ll make the right choice, won’t he?

Who is he kidding? He’ll ruin everything, as per usual. Bad choices and the name Malfoy go hand in hand.

These Secrets In Me by @femmequixotic [357k]

Auror Special Branch team seven-four-alpha–Sergeant Draco Malfoy, Constable Pansy Parkinson, and Constable Blaise Zabini led by their SIO, Inspector Harry Potter–must handle personal and political fallout from the implication of Ministry employees and Aurors in the scandal around escaped Death Eaters and a Dementor uprising at Azkaban. On top of that, their original target, Antonin Dolohov, is in the wind.

With all the ruckus, it’s a good thing they have help from Unspeakable Hermione Granger, American Unspeakable, Legilimens, and Harry’s recent ex, Jake Durant, Blaise’s legendary necromancer grandfather, Barachiel Dee, and his potions expert mother, Olivia Zabini. What could possibly go wrong with an army of best friends, ex-lovers, and family? Especially when you add the strong-willed Parkinson clan to the mix.

Meanwhile, troubling new leads arise, taking Our Team in a surprising direction.

And Draco, still hiding his relationship with his SIO from the upper echelons of the Auror force, is definitely not falling in love with Harry Potter along the way. Not at all. Don’t be ridiculous.

Dare To Think by @femmequixotic [388k]

After recent events in New York, Seven-Four-Alpha are set to return back to London. They’ve captured their primary target, but by no means settled their case. They’ve still got rogue Dementors at Azkaban, prying investigators from Luxembourg, and a far larger Death Eater threat to manage, not to mention pressure from their own higher ups. Draco is reeling from his loss, and Harry is trying to be the best boyfriend he can, which may mean not being Draco’s guv any longer. Harry’s uncertain what his team’ll find as they press deeper in the investigation, but he knows they will all be tested, perhaps more than they can bear.

But they haven’t a choice, have they? It’s the bloody Death Eaters, after all, and the political integrity of Wizarding Britain and their magical allies hangs in the balance.

Set Me Free by @femmequixotic [196k] *Incomplete

Seven-Four-Alpha are back in London with available resources of the Ministry tracking their every move. Draco Malfoy remains lost, last seen in Thibodaux, Louisiana, as MACUSA was closing in. Harry is raging, barely in control of his magic, and the rest of the team are battered and unsure. Their recent failure haunts them, as does the spectre of a MACUSA-Ministry alliance under the control of the Quahog administration and its shadow puppetmaster, Aldric Yaxley. The Dementor crisis with Luxembourg is brewing in the background, as is a conflict with Rodolphus Lestrange. And that’s not even mentioning the bargain Blaise struck with Death to return his cup. The team have very little energy or resources for one fight, much less several of this magnitude simultaneously.

Should they fail, though, political tyranny will grip both sides of the Atlantic and evils recently banished may return. Each of them is fighting for something they hold dear, but no victory comes without a price. Still, desperate situations call for desperate measures, and desperation appears to be all they have.

Changing of the Guard by Lomonaaeren [210k]

Need a perfect stranger? Ask Metamorphosis. Harry Potter runs the business secretly and becomes whoever’s needed for each occasion. He’s not sure whether he should be more surprised, worried, or amused when Draco Malfoy comes to Metamorphosis and requests an actor who can play his boyfriend so that his parents will disown him. Yet Harry has even more dangerous choices after he creates Brian, Draco’s “perfect” boyfriend. Draco doesn’t know who Brian is, but he’s trying to find out—and now so is Harry.

Double Edged Sword by @romaine2424  [554k]

Harry thinks his life has been planned out, but the night he comes of age changes everything.  Now there are decisions to be made and a path to be chosen, and the choices before him will change the lives of everyone he knows.  But when destiny calls, Harry finds himself ready to listen.

This is an epic story of the love between Harry and Draco.  Join them as they journey through their life together, through the good times and the bad, facing obstacles both external and internal, and see how they come to be who they were meant to be.

Eclipse by Mijan [287k]

“You’re dead, Potter… I’m going to make you pay…”

Draco swore his revenge on Harry for Lucius’s imprisonment, and Harry all but laughed at him. But Draco is planning more than schoolyard pranks this time. The old rivalry turns deadly when Draco abducts Harry for Voldemort. It’s the perfect plan, guaranteeing revenge, power, and prestige, all in one blow. But when Draco’s world turns upside down, the fight to save himself and Harry begins, and the battle will take them both through hell and back. If they come back.

Left My Heart by @emmagrant01 [85k]

Auror Draco Malfoy has disappeared, and Harry Potter has been sent to San Francisco to find him. (Post-Hogwarts, set in February, 2004. Written before Half-Blood Prince was released.)

Surrender the Grey by @emmagrant01 [151k]

Draco Malfoy returns to London after five years of self-imposed exile to start a new life with Harry. But will the secrets of the past destroy everything they’ve worked for?  Sequel to “Left My Heart”.

Men Who Love Dragons Too Much by @fencer-x [479k]

[Extensive  re-telling of Deathly Hallows] As in Half-blood Prince, Draco is charged by Voldemort with killing Dumbledore—only instead of trying to  do his best with the challenge, he realizes he’s been set a futile task  and focuses on finding a way to save both himself and his parents. He  eventually decides to spend his sixth year studying Animagecraft,  convinced it’s his best shot at escaping the impossible situation he’s  found himself in. But just his luck, his Animagus form turns out to be a  dragon, and a rather randy juvenile at that, intent on finding its  mate: one Harry James Potter.

Objects of Desire by Azrael Geffen [400k+]

The dream team sign a magical contract promising to lose their virginities within the year, they soon fix on the objects of their desires, but will the bitterness left in the wake of the war prove too hurtful for love to exist?

Per Solum Lacuna: By Words Alone by Azhure [560k]

A set of enchanted journals bring solace to two very unlikely lost   souls. Whoever said the art of penmanship was lost? This is a wizarding twist on the old fashioned art of correspondence (or the modern art of Internet chatting). What will happen when the mystery writers finally   discover the identity of their counterpart? Join this star crossed pair as they obliviously chat to each other; along the way learning about   life and love. Find out what will happen when their own voyages of self discovery lead them to the most unlikely of places. This is eventual   HP/DM, but other pairings for the protagonists along their journey.

Reparations by Saras_Girl [87k]

Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.

Foundations by Saras_Girl [236k]

When one door closes, another one opens – with a bit of a push. Life, love and complications. [sequel to Reparations]

Turn by Saras_Girl [306k]

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Twist of Fate by Oakstone730 / @i-didnt-wanna-do-it​   [302k]

Draco asks Harry to help him beat the Imperius curse during 4th year. The lessons turn into more than either expected. A story of redemption and forgiveness.

Underwater Light by Maya [200k+]

Featuring  an extremely depressed Harry, in a war-torn wizarding world, about to get the shock of his life when he discovers that Draco Malfoy is slightly more important to him than he would have ever guessed.  Including a very odd friendship, lots of angst, suspicions, conflicted  loyalties, clueless Ron, on-the-warpath Hermione and two very messed-up  boys.

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[vashtijoy]

@pugs-cats-bb-8 tagged on my 7/9 post:

#persona 5#goro akechi#it's funny that you say he's hard to get a hold of#the first day he's available is 6-13#and he's available 10 times leading up to mid-July#plus his rank 3 is dependent on having R.3 charm And Knowledge plus no rain#even though I'm sure that cafe has a slight awning#he says the charm and knowledge is because his fans won't except any less#I think Akechi's just picky and playing hard to get#he's only available 39 times in the whole game#September is the worst month with 4 days of availability#October is a close second with 5 days#best months are August and November with 8 and 7#throw in a double stat block and a weather block for R. 3#an aquarium date dependent on ranking up Ohya And doing Futaba's palace as soon as it opens#R. 6 having a date block#R. 7 having a date block And stat block of Knowledge R.4#plus if you want the best ending and his third tier you have to pick specific choices#he's also very picky in presents#only 6 presents give 3 notes#2 presents give 2 notes#and the rest give one note#this boy is very complicated

That is invaluable information, and a level of attention to detail of which I can only dream tbh. So, in that spirit, I went back and replayed the whole of June and half of July, to get a complete calendar of Akechi interactions. Here's what I learned:

Apart from Saturday, there doesn't seem to be any real "you can find him on these days" schedule. Between June 10th (confidant 1) and July 12th (the date I got confidant 5 on my live playthrough), there are 9 days when you can find Akechi in Kichijoji, and those days are as follows:

all three possible Saturdays;

3 out of 4 possible Wednesdays. The other, 6/15, is rained off—though he doesn't show up even if you're doing confidant 2 rather than 3, and of course he shows up for confidant 2 on 6/13 in the rain;

once each on Monday, Tuesday or Thursday;

never on Friday or Sunday.

The week of 6/13 only has one day when you can find him—the Monday, when you can get confidant 2 and then he vanishes for the rest of the week. If you (say) don't get confidant 2 on 6/13, he still won't show up on 6/15 (his regular Wednesday slot) to offer it again;

The weeks of 6/27 and 7/4 each have two opportunities to meet him;

The week of 6/20, on the other hand, has three opportunities, and he will text you twice;

Once you're time-locked on the confidant, he will no longer appear in Kichijoji, and he will not text you to hang out;

If he's not time-locked, he always texts on Saturdays, so it looks like you're his big night out. Heavens, Akechi, the wild life you do lead.

so does he vanish for months in the summer?

Over in this post, I talked about how Akechi vanishes for most of September and October, in the runup to Joker's murder. There just appear to be no plot notes that bring the two of you together.

If you do confidant 5 on 7/2, and confidant 6 when it unlocks on 9/3, that looks like another two-month gap—but actually, there are various choreographed events that break it up:

train station meetings on 7/11, 7/20 and 9/2;

the lunch with Yoshizawa on 7/11;

the Medjed meeting with the PTs on 7/18;

the aquarium date on 7/29;

there is then a month's gap before the Leblanc trauma dump on 8/28—interesting, since this mostly overlaps with Futaba's Palace. Which Akechi doesn't know about, so it looks like they've vanished as planned.

So they have a lot going on in July even apart from the confidant. But in August, in the summer, they're out of each other's hair, until he comes back for 8/28 and confidant 6. What's going on? Is this actually a longer disconnect of three months after confidant 5, broken up by setting up the Okumura plot? Does he think Joker gave up as he predicted, when faced with a difficult opponent like Medjed? (disappointing) Is it something else entirely? Or does he just have a busy August?

@pugs-cats-bb-8 mentions in their tags that September and October are Akechi's worst months for availability, which corresponds with his vanishing from the plot for those two months as shit falls apart. If August, by contrast, really is the best time to find him, it suggests he's not intentionally avoiding you then so much as the plot is just not throwing you together.

It looks like, in theory, confidant stages 2-5 are meant to be done by the end of July, when the game schedules a lot of other social stuff for you.

here's the calendar

June M T W T F S S 06 07 08 09 ! 11 12 * 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 x * 24 x 26 27 28 * 30

July M T W T F S S 01 x 03 04 05 * 07 08 x 10 11 *

x—days when Akechi texts you to hang out. *—days when you can find Akechi in Kichijoji, but no text. !—the TV studio. Confidant 1.

Days when the game will always stop you doing anything in the evening (and so you could never meet anyone) are struck out.

Days in red are days he didn't appear in this replay (where I nailed all the dates), but did appear in my real, current playthrough (where I'm about a week behind). Note that 7/9 itself is one of these days—if you get confidant 5 on 7/2, he will not then face you on 7/9 after his tantrum.

Here's a summary list of events:

6/10 Friday—the TV studio. Confidant 1.

6/13 Monday—available in Kichijoji. Confidant 2.

6/22 Wednesday—he texts you in the evening. Confidant 3.

6/23 Thursday—available in Kichijoji. (no rank up)

6/25 Saturday—he texts you in the evening. Confidant 4.

6/29 Wednesday—available in Kichijoji. (no rank up)

7/2 Saturday—he texts you in the evening. Confidant 5.

7/6 Wednesday—available in Kichijoji. (but not if rank 5)

7/9 Saturday—he texts you in the evening. (but not if rank 5)

7/12 Tuesday—available in Kichijoji. (but not if rank 5)

also, we dreamed of him

Also, playing back to check certain days I missed to voluntary Metaverse activity, I found out you can go to bed early and have a dream that raises your stats or your confidants! So that's worth knowing. If you got this far down, here are some entertaining dreams.

"I dreamed that I was being chased by a gigantic Akechi... I'm glad that was just a dream."

"I dreamed that Akechi and I went to the beach, but the waves washed away my swimming trunks... I'm glad that was just a dream."

"I had a dream where I was in a quiet café, asking Akechi for advice... I feel a little closer to Akechi."

I think you may have a better chance of getting "good dreams" if you are ranked higher with the confidant.

[spacenutspod]

In 1977, astronomers received a powerful, peculiar radio signal from the direction of the constellation Sagittarius. Its frequency was the same as neutral hydrogen, and astronomers had speculated that any ETIs attempting to communicate would naturally use this frequency. Now the signal, named the Wow! Signal has become lore in the SETI world. But what was it? Beginning in the 1970s, the Ohio State University Big Ear radio telescope was used in the university’s Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) program, which ran from 1973 to 1995. This program is the longest-running SETI program in history. In 1977, Big Ear detected a peculiar signal that’s taken on a life of its own: the Wow! Signal. The Wow! Signal was a strong narrowband radio signal right near the frequency of neutral hydrogen. The Big Ear telescope is long gone now, but the effort to understand what the signal is lives on. The signal lasted the full 72-second window in which Big Ear was able to observe it. A few days later, astronomer Jerry R. Ehman was looking over the data when he saw the signal on a computer printout. Astronomers had never seen anything like it, and he wrote “Wow!” beside it, and the name has stuck ever since. The Wow! signal from 1977 as discovered by astronomer Jerry R. Ehman. Image via Big Ear Radio Observatory and North American AstroPhysical Observatory (NAAPO). The signal has another name: 6EQUJ5. This has been interpreted as a message hidden in the signal, but it really represents how the signal’s intensity varied over time. This image is a plot of the Wow! signal’s intensity versus time. Image Credit: By Maxrossomachin – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=16197844 The signal generated a lot of excitement. Some thought it was extraterrestrial in origin, some thought it could come from some type of human-generated interference, and some thought it could be from an unexplained natural phenomenon. New research shows that the Wow! Signal has an entirely natural explanation. The research is “Arecibo Wow! I: An Astrophysical Explanation for the Wow! Signal.” The lead author is Abel Méndez from the Planetary Habitability Laboratory at the University of Puerto Rico at Arecibo. It’s available at the pre-print server arxiv.org. Arecibo Wow! is a new effort based on an archival study of data from the now-defunct Arecibo Radio Telescope from 2017 to 2020. The observations from Arecibo are similar to those from Big Ear but “are more sensitive, have better temporal resolution, and include polarization measurements,” according to the authors. “Our latest observations, made between February and May 2020, have revealed similar narrowband signals near the hydrogen line, though less intense than the original Wow! Signal,” said Méndez. Arecibo detected signals similar to the Wow! signal but with some differences. They’re far less intense and come from multiple locations. The authors say these signals are easily explained by an astrophysical phenomenon and that the original Wow! signal is, too. “We hypothesize that the Wow! Signal was caused by sudden brightening from stimulated emission of the hydrogen line due to a strong transient radiation source, such as a magnetar flare or a soft gamma repeater (SGR),” the researchers write. Those events are rare and rely on precise conditions and alignments. They can cause clouds of hydrogen to brighten considerably for seconds or even minutes. This simple schematic shows how the Wow! Signal was generated and detected. A radiative source such as a magnetar or a soft gamma repeater is positioned behind a cloud of cold neutral hydrogen. Energy from the source stimulates emission from the HI cloud, which brightens abruptly and is observable from Earth. Image Credit: Méndez et al. 2024. The researchers say that what Big Ear saw in 1977 was the transient brightening of one of several H1 (neutral hydrogen) clouds in the telescope’s line of sight. The 1977 signal was similar to what Arecibo saw in many respects. “The only difference between the signals observed in Arecibo and the Wow! Signal is their brightness. It is precisely the similarity between these spectra that suggests a mechanism for the origin of the mysterious signal,” the authors write. These signals are rare because the spatial alignment between source, cloud, and observer is rare. The rarity of alignment explains why detections are so rare. The researchers were able to identify the clouds responsible for the signal but not the source. Their results suggest that the source is much more distant than the clouds that produce the hydrogen signal. “Given the detectability of the clouds as demonstrated in our data, this insight could enable precise location of the signal’s origin and permit continuous monitoring for subsequent events,” the researchers explain. The Wow! Signal was originally interpreted as a technosignature by many. By explaining where the signal came from, this research outlines a new source of false positives. “Our hypothesis explains all observed properties of the Wow! Signal, proposes a new source of false positives in technosignature searches, and suggests that the Wow! Signal could be the first recorded event of an astronomical maser flare in the hydrogen line,” the authors explain in their conclusion. The post The Wow! Signal Deciphered. It Was Hydrogen All Along. appeared first on Universe Today.

[thestobingirlie]

So much fic seems to miss how different things were in the 80s compared to now (also seem to forget how long ago stranger things is set... like season 1 is set 40 years ago this year.)

One thing I notice it a lot in is the talking about video/ the setting with Steve and Robin working at family video and just how home media worked.

First part of it, you can always tell when someone only grew up with dvd/ bluray/ video on demand. Because VHS did not have home menus, scene selection, or an additional features menu. You put the tape in and the only options were play, pause, fast forward or rewind. And when people write DVD instead of VHS for what family video offer. Like that format did not come out until the mid 90's and didn't overtake VHS until the early-mid 2000's, which lead to the monstrosities that were the combo DVD/VHS player. (I even saw one fic where Steve and Robin had to rewind returned DVD's. That is just not how it works.)

A lot of the time I think people don't understand is how new accessible home video/ home media was. Like when Steve and Robin start at family video, VHS was less than a decade old. Home video that was accessible and available to the masses only really came about with Betamax in 75 and VHS in 76. And because of that it was expensive, which is why rental stores were such a big thing. In the mid 80's a normal single-tape VHS could easily cost $80-$90, which is the equivalent of over $200. When Back To The Future was released on VHS in 86 it cost $80. So when its written that someone (often Eddie) has rented the same movie a few times, and they have Steve or Robin say that it would be cheaper to buy a copy, it just doesn't make sense.

Then its the time between theatrical release and home release. It could easily be a year between theatrical release and VHS release (Using BTTF again, theatrical release date was July 3rd 1985, VHS release was May 22nd 1986. So nearly 11 months.) And film companies didn't just release their entire back catalogue onto VHS right away. They looked at what was in demand. (Disney didn't finish releasing their "classics" onto VHS until well into the 90's). The one I see people getting wrong the most in fic is The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Now I could see Robin and Eddie loving Rocky Horror, but they probably weren't all that aware of it. It was released in 75, but it wasn't available on VHS until 87 in the UK, and 1990 in the US, and it wasn't broadcast on TV until 93. Yes, there were midnight screenings in a lot of cities, but it was rated R, and they just might not have heard of it. (Sorry, but Rocky Horror is my other hyperfixation/ special interest and I could talk about it for hours on end). But, yeah, unless they'd managed to get hold of a bootleg copy, they probably hadn't seen it.

Sorry for the long ask, but this is just something that bugs me a little, because it would take just a few seconds to google it to find out if what they've written actually makes sense with the time it's set.

i read a fic that mentioned they were all watching a dvd and i literally stopped reading the fic. it just totally took me out of it.

obviously if you’re younger you won’t know as much about vhs, but it’s not that hard to find out (also, someone had to rewind dvds??? come on man, never having actually seen a vhs, sure. but have these people never watched a dvd??)

$80? that’s so expensive! i had no idea! i do love how you know so much about this tho lmao

people focus on the rocky horror picture show too much. i think it’s the only queer media they know from around the 80s, and while it’s fun, i really don’t think robin/steve/eddie would’ve known much about it, and if they did watch it, would probably be post st canon.

don’t worry about long asks! small things like that bug me too lol, especially because they’re so small it would take two seconds to look it up! but i guess if you’ve never really experienced 80s shit, you don’t even know you have to look stuff up.

[adultswim2021]

The Boondocks #17: “Tom, Sarah and Usher” | October 15, 2007 - 11:30PM | S02E02

Tom, the Freeman’s stick-in-his-ass neighbor, attempts to stand up for himself after an emasculating encounter with Usher, who hits on Sarah, Tom’s beautiful white wife, while they are celebrating their anniversary at a fancy restaurant. She throws him out and he winds up crashing with the Freemans who selfishly want him out of there as soon as possible. This leads to them hiring the services of A Pimp Named Slickback, who tries to debitchify Tom. 

There are two sorta central comic set-pieces in this episode; a melancholic but soulful R&B video by Tom. His wife calls him during it and hears the backing track and asks him “are you doing that music video thing again?” revealing that this isn’t just a dramatic flourish being put on the Boondocks television program, this is a real thing he’s doing to cope with his heartbreak.

The climax is the extensive sequence where A Pimp Named Slickback attempts to rehabilitate Tom into becoming more pimp-like. The show really shines here; Tom being one extreme (overly polite, docile, and easy to step all over) being taught in the ways of brash pimpness. A Pimp Named Slickback (his entire name, including the “A Pimp Named” part) attempts to get Tom to claim Sarah as property and even slap her. He attempts to follow-through with this plan and slaps Usher instead. We find out their meeting was actually seemingly innocent (she was taking their kid to meet Usher), and Tom gets pounded by Usher’s bodyguards. 

This is a strong-one with a lot of funny scenes. There’s hash 2007-era language you’d expect from the show, including the derisive use of the f-slur. That’s considered extremely edgy these days, but back then I think as long as you had under-educated, uncouth, or villainous people delivering that word it was seen as okay in 2007. There’s also the n-word, but that’s a given with The Boondocks.

This may be a shallow comparison, but I was reminded of the Simpsons episode “No Disgrace Like Home”, the episode which depicts Homer being embarrassed of his family and taking them to Family Therapy. The plots not that similar, but the fact that the third act has the protagonist of the episode be lead through some sort of extreme therapy session is evocative. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and comparing the two. Will I think about it a little more and produce an intelligent thought about it? No. I will not.

Carl's Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week (October 19, 2007)

NOTE: I have never seen any of these. Actually, I may have given them a little look when some of them were available as DVD Extras on one of the Aqua Teen DVDs.

Also: “Carl's Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week” is actually anachronistic; I think these were originally just called “Carl” and then changed to “I’m Pissed” or “Carl’s Pissed” before becoming “Carl's Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week”. I chose the long version of the title for purely aesthetic reasons. I don’t know when any of the title changes happened. 

The main reason I didn’t really watch these was because they were typically Carl talking about real-life events in the world of sports, which I don’t happen to really care about. I may have, at one point, watched one of these and realized that even though they starred a beloved character from a television series I enjoy, these simply weren’t aimed at me. So I never kept up with them. I literally don’t know if you CAN watch all of them. When I did a google search, I realized some of these are actually available on ESPN’s website, and I think they air on ESPN radio in an audio format. They might still be in production?

I’ve decided that I’d like to cover the content Adult Swim makes for the web, but I don’t think I can be super complete with it. If anyone has a complete collection of these and can share, I’ll take ‘em!

[ongolecharles]

DAILY SCRIPTURE READINGS (DSR) 📚 Group, Wed June 26th, 2024 ... Wednesday of the Twelfth Week in Ordinary Time, Year B

Reading 1

--------------

2 Kgs 22:8-13; 23:1-3

The high priest Hilkiah informed the scribe Shaphan,

"I have found the book of the law in the temple of the LORD."

Hilkiah gave the book to Shaphan, who read it.

Then the scribe Shaphan went to the king and reported,

"Your servants have smelted down the metals available in the temple

and have consigned them to the master workmen

in the temple of the LORD."

The scribe Shaphan also informed the king

that the priest Hilkiah had given him a book,

and then read it aloud to the king.

When the king heard the contents of the book of the law,

he tore his garments and issued this command to Hilkiah the priest,

Ahikam, son of Shaphan,

Achbor, son of Micaiah, the scribe Shaphan,

and the king's servant Asaiah:

"Go, consult the LORD for me, for the people, for all Judah,

about the stipulations of this book that has been found,

for the anger of the LORD has been set furiously ablaze against us,

because our fathers did not obey the stipulations of this book,

nor fulfill our written obligations."

The king then had all the elders of Judah

and of Jerusalem summoned together before him.

The king went up to the temple of the LORD with all the men of Judah

and all the inhabitants of Jerusalem:

priests, prophets, and all the people, small and great.

He had the entire contents of the book of the covenant

that had been found in the temple of the LORD, read out to them.

Standing by the column, the king made a covenant before the LORD

that they would follow him

and observe his ordinances, statutes and decrees

with their whole hearts and souls,

thus reviving the terms of the covenant

which were written in this book.

And all the people stood as participants in the covenant.

Responsorial Psalm

---------------

Ps 119:33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 40

R. (33a) Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Instruct me, O LORD, in the way of your statutes,

that I may exactly observe them.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Give me discernment, that I may observe your law

and keep it with all my heart.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Lead me in the path of your commands,

for in it I delight.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Incline my heart to your decrees

and not to gain.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Turn away my eyes from seeing what is vain:

by your way give me life.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Behold, I long for your precepts;

in your justice give me life.

R. Teach me the way of your decrees, O Lord.

Alleluia

---------

Jn 15:4a, 5b

R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Remain in me, as I remain in you, says the Lord;

whoever remains in me will bear much fruit.

R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel

--------

Mt 7:15-20

Jesus said to his disciples:

"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing,

but underneath are ravenous wolves.

By their fruits you will know them.

Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?

Just so, every good tree bears good fruit,

and a rotten tree bears bad fruit.

A good tree cannot bear bad fruit,

nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit.

Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down

and thrown into the fire.

So by their fruits you will know them."

***

FOCUS AND LITURGY OF THE WORD

In today’s Gospel, Jesus warns the disciples and us of false prophets who are really ravenous wolves in sheep’s clothing. I do not have to look far to find some examples of these disguised ravenous wolves in my own life. I think about when I spend too much time scrolling through social media, sometimes staying up too late. Or when I watch yet another episode of a show, maybe even one I have seen before. My own discernment of these activities is to separate what is deserved relaxation, a break, some time to wind down, to laugh, to perhaps learn something or get lost in a drama. I deserve that time. But when do I cross the line to wasted time? When do I allow the wolves in?

False prophets sound good. They look the part. But when does playing one more computer game, one more video game become too much? It becomes a time of discernment for myself. What is the cura personalis — the care for the whole person? I have to think of my mind, my body, my spirit. We French talk about showing cura personalis to others. We have to take care of ourselves. I applaud and am thankful for modern technology that allows connection and virtual contact, entertainment, relaxation. But I also need stillness and quiet to discern and pray. I need unmediated human connection as a way to show care for others and to have others care for me.

My prayer today is to recognize the wolves on sheep’s clothing that can certainly come in many disguises. I ask for the grace to recognize when too much is too much.

***

SAINT OF THE DAY

Blessed Raymond Lull

(c. 1235 – June 28, 1315)

Blessed Raymond Lull’s Story

Raymond worked all his life to promote the missions and died a missionary to North Africa.

Raymond was born at Palma on the island of Mallorca in the Mediterranean Sea. He earned a position in the king’s court there. One day a sermon inspired him to dedicate his life to working for the conversion of the Muslims in North Africa. He became a Secular Franciscan and founded a college where missionaries could learn the Arabic they would need in the missions. Retiring to solitude, he spent nine years as a hermit. During that time he wrote on all branches of knowledge, a work which earned him the title “Enlightened Doctor.”

Raymond then made many trips through Europe to interest popes, kings, and princes in establishing special colleges to prepare future missionaries. He achieved his goal in 1311, when the Council of Vienne ordered the creation of chairs of Hebrew, Arabic, and Chaldean at the universities of Bologna, Oxford, Paris, and Salamanca. At the age of 79, Raymond went to North Africa in 1314 to be a missionary himself. An angry crowd of Muslims stoned him in the city of Bougie. Genoese merchants took him back to Mallorca, where he died. Raymond was beatified in 1514 and his liturgical feast is celebrated on June 30.

Reflection

-----------

Raymond worked most of his life to help spread the gospel. Indifference on the part of some Christian leaders and opposition in North Africa did not turn him from his goal. Three hundred years later Raymond’s work began to have an influence in the Americas. When the Spanish began to spread the gospel in the New World, they set up missionary colleges to aid the work. Saint Junípero Serra belonged to such a college.

***

【Build your Faith in Christ Jesus on #dailyscripturereadingsgroup 📚: +256 751 540 524 .. Whatsapp】

[newjerseyprelawland-blog]

DC's Own NYSE: The Shady World Of Congressional Stock Trading

By Gregory Martinez,  Rutgers University–New Brunswick  Class of 2026

September 13, 2023

On January 24th, 2020, before the average American knew what a pandemic was, the United States Senate received a private briefing on the dangers of the then early-stage coronavirus from the soon-to-be-famous Anthony Fauci of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. That same day, Senator Kelly Loeffler of Georgia (R) began selling dozens of stock holdings, totalling millions in value, trades that her household would continue to make throughout February. On average, the 15 stocks that Loeffler offloaded, all from companies soon to be vulnerable to the pandemic, lost a third of their value between then and March 2020, when COVID-19 became a more public threat [1] [2]. Naturally, when The Daily Beast published a report detailing this series of events, the American public was less than pleased. Loeffler had various defenses for her actions, claiming that the shares were owned by her husband Jeffrey Sprecher, chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, (later admitting that most were jointly owned), and later tweeting that third-party advisors handled her investments without her or her husband’s knowledge [3]. This, along with several other Senators who engaged in similarly dubious trades, resulted in a large-scale investigation by the Senate Ethics Committee on allegations of insider trading, allegations that were dismissed on June 16, 2020 [4].

Loeffler was by no means an isolated incident. Senators and virtually anyone with a high level role in government, being privy to sensitive information on a daily basis, have had questionable investments frequently come into scrutiny. The ethical troubles of government employees being able to trade goes beyond just insider trading, there are clear paths to conflicts of interest that could compromise decision making capabilities. In 2008, then-Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D) received an invitation to participate in an IPO for Visa, purchasing 5,000 shares of Visa at the initial price of $44 dollars. Two days later it was trading at $64, giving the Pelosis a hefty $100,000 profit. At the same time Pelosi received this invitation, there was a piece of legislation that would harm the credit card company floating around the House. It never reached the floor for a vote, and was only passed two years later after it initiated in the Senate [5]. This activity was not made public until a report by CBS in 2011, and the outrage that followed lead to the passing of the STOCK Act of 2012, which formally criminalized lawmakers acting on private information for trading and increased mandatory financial disclosures and their public availability, and yet even these stringent guidelines were quietly scaled back in 2013, making it near impossible to actually locate this information to keep politicians in check [6]. Reports show that 78 members of Congress have violated the STOCK Act between 2012 and 2023, and after making excuses “including ignorance of the law, clerical errors, and mistakes by an accountant”, are typically only given a fine around $200, a slap on the wrist considering the potential severity of their actions [7].

Insider trading laws exist to provide equity among investors, to make sure that no one has an unfair advantage over another. In a Congress where the majority of members are millionaires, and typically double or even triple their net worth during their years of service [8], it’s hard to argue that it’s an entirely fair fight against the average American. Already on a hefty salary, and with the very simple opportunity to expand their wealth during their tenure, trading while in office is a slippery slope to outright corruption. A company with more malicious intent than Visa could easily promise representatives access to beneficial trades in exchange for their voting support, and with the difficulty of proving a causal relationship between trades and votes it would be incredibly difficult for anyone to say no. Debates over how to handle this issue come and go, with the public largely forgetting about the issue after it inevitably circles back to the fact that the only people that can regulate politicians are the politicians themselves. There have been movements to ban congressmen from trading altogether, such as the recently proposed Ban Congressional Stock Trading Act spearheaded by Senators Jon Ossoff of Georgia (D) and Mark Kelly of Arizona (D) [9]. But similar bills in the past have failed to gain bipartisan traction, and still leave unanswered questions of the specifics of banning trading. Would it be fair to extend this ban to family members who would likely just be told the relevant sensitive information? How much extended family would be included in this? By this logic close friends would also have to be banned, and ignoring the impossibility of defining a close friend, at what point does this interfere with the free market? The law is a specific endeavor, and finding a logical and ethical solution that can be written down is extremely difficult, especially when those deciding the specifics are the ones directly harmed by the regulations. It’s unclear what a solution to these issues would look like, and what influence citizens could ever have besides being upset. Perhaps it’s a necessary evil in a democratic republic, but at the very least transparency and awareness can do a lot to keep any seedling of corruption out of the country.

______________________________________________________________

[1] Markay, Lachlan, et al. “Sen. Kelly Loeffler Dumped Millions in Stock after Coronavirus Briefing.” The Daily Beast, The Daily Beast Company, 20 Mar. 2020, www.thedailybeast.com/sen-kelly-loeffler-dumped-millions-in-stock-after-coronavirus-briefing. 

[2] Lowrey, Annie. “An Invitation to Corruption.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 1 Apr. 2020, www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/03/congress-insider-trading-problem/608488/. 

[3] Loeffler, Kelly [@SenatorLoeffler]. “This is a ridiculous and baseless attack. I do not make investment decisions for my portfolio. Investment decisions are made by multiple third-party advisors without my or my husband's knowledge or involvement.” Twitter, 20 Mar 2020, https://x.com/SenatorLoeffler/status/1240856941435502592?s=20

[4] Levine, Marianne. “Senate Ethics Committee Drops Probe of Loeffler Stock Trades.” POLITICO, www.politico.com/news/2020/06/16/senate-ethics-committee-drops-probe-loeffler-stock-trades-323795.

[5] Condon, Stephanie. “New Details on Visa’s Attempt to Influence Pelosi.” CBS News, CBS Interactive, 15 Nov. 2011, www.cbsnews.com/news/new-details-on-visas-attempt-to-influence-pelosi/. 

[6] Keith, Tamara. “How Congress Quietly Overhauled Its Insider-Trading Law.” NPR, NPR, 16 Apr. 2013, www.npr.org/sections/itsallpolitics/2013/04/16/177496734/how-congress-quietly-overhauled-its-insider-trading-law. 

[7] Levinthal, Dave. “78 Members of Congress Have Violated a Law Designed to Prevent Insider Trading and Stop Conflicts-of-Interest.” Business Insider, Business Insider, www.businessinsider.com/congress-stock-act-violations-senate-house-trading-2021-9#sen-dianne-feinstein-a-democrat-from-california-1.

[8] Evers-Hillstrom, Karl. “Majority of Lawmakers in 116th Congress Are Millionaires.” OpenSecrets News, 19 Oct. 2022, www.opensecrets.org/news/2020/04/majority-of-lawmakers-millionaires/. 

[9] “Sens. Ossoff, Kelly Introduce Bill Banning Stock Trading by Members of Congress.” U.S. Senator for Georgia Jon Ossoff, 12 Sept. 2023, www.ossoff.senate.gov/press-releases/sens-ossoff-kelly-introduce-bill-banning-stock-trading-by-members-of-congress-2/. 

[devakey]

Forefront 8: The Escapism in Belle (2022)

Premise

A modern reimagination of ‘‘The Beauty and the Beast’’, Belle (2022), follows a social pariah called Suzu discovering community and love on a virtual reality platform called ‘U’. The film showcases the highs and lows of online stardom and how we tend to act in a the safety of an online world rather than the much colder, harsher, real world (Daniels, 2022).

Image: Belle © 2021 Studio Chizu 

 Background

Belle hails from the countryside, the bus line to which is soon to be discontinued. Few take notice of her at school, and U is her outlet to the world. She lost her mother to a raging river when she was a mere child and her teenage self is distant from her father.

Reality vs Virtual Reality

Belle’s online avatar accidentally gets made in the image of the pretty and popular girl at her school and although she struggles with singing in public, she is the lustrous Belle on U. Her popularity skyrockets, leading her to online stardom. Although not ground-breaking in this regard, Belle operates using the trope of having a protagonist disconnect from their real-world limitations and instead escape into a world where they are capable of all that they have dreamt (Rodgers, 2022).

Image: Belle © 2021 Studio Chizu 

 In the online world, she is free of judgement and condemnation of her peers or any shackles that society might place on her. She has a voice and a presence online that she feels devoid of in reality.

Critique of the Online World

As seen in his other works, Mamoru Hasoda is a meticulous craftsman. His critique of the internet culture in Belle may not be entirely fresh or unique, but it is carefully crafted to evoke understanding and empathy from viewers.

Rather becoming an outright condemnation of cyberspace, Belle instead emphasises and embraces the joy in being able to connect with people online, while also highlighting the risks. This unique approach results in a most surprisingly dark, awe-inspiring and stimulating climax (Rodgers, 2022). 

Image: Belle © 2021 Studio Chizu

Escapism

Belle’s mundane and troubled background is constantly being flashed to throughout the film and the juxtaposition of her dual lives is stark. We as viewers empathise with her need to find connection outside of her gray reality and pursue the colourful, bright virtual world. Although we may not have the same resources, the viewers can relate to wanting to escape to a ‘‘better’’ world.

Image: Belle © 2021 Studio Chizu

Connection

My Major Study Project heavily explores escapism in the form of video games and the internet. The protagonist has disconnected with his reality, instead opting to escape into the screen of his phone. He ignores all the injustices and trouble surrounding him, which ends poorly for him.

Belle instead heeds a warning to prevent others of such fate. It shows the pros of such an escape while also underlining the dangers of getting sucked in too deep and falling down the rabbit hole.

References

1. Daniels, R. (2022) Belle Movie Review & Film Summary (2022): Roger Ebert, movie review & film summary (2022) | Roger Ebert. Available at: https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/belle-movie-review-2022 (Accessed: 19 June 2023). 

2. Rodgers, M. (2022) Belle (2022) - movie review, Flickering Myth. Available at: https://www.flickeringmyth.com/2022/05/movie-review-belle-2022/ (Accessed: 19 June 2023). 

[zablionsea]

Regularly-scheduled NOISZ SL Propaganda/j

Happy Pride Month.

As such, I'd like to make a recommendation of a game I feel has great LGBTQ representation, that's written by LGBTQ people: NOISZ STΔRLIVHT, available on iOS and Android.

You play as the Producer for the idol group STΔRLIVHT. As musicians around the world are suddenly disappearing, STΔRLIVHT nearly finds themselves meeting the same fate, until a mysterious woman named Beyond grants them the power of the NOISZ.

The group members strength their bonds, fight musical monsters from another world, and learn more about the complexities of each other's lives.

It's a bullet-hell rhythm game, consisting of 4-key (aka 4k) sections cut between (and on higher difficulties, overlapped with) moving your character around the screen to dodge bullets.

The game has a variety of queer characters (although those whose existence/queerness are spoilers will not be mentioned).

Sera and Grace are two members of the main idol group and are playable characters in battle. They're also dating and have been since the end of middle school. They have a kind, supportive relationship where Sera's extreme ambitiousness (leading to getting overwhelmed) is supported by Grace's kindness. Grace's extreme selflessness is supported by Sera's powerful affection. They complement each other well.

They have two love songs: Done in Love by Iris, and First Star by Synthion, the latter of which is the tutorial song. Both are available as charts, but they do cost money for the Clover Club Pass and Dia Club Pass respectively.

The beginning of Sera and Grace's relationship is the central focus on the prequel visual novel game 2ECONDS TO STΔRLIVHT: Forever My Diamond, which is available on Steam, and on mobile as part of the free prequel VN 2ECONDS TO STΔRLIVHT+.

There are recurring event alts in which Sera and Grace wear each other's casual clothes, and honestly, I love that so much. Good for them.

Hakuno is canonically a trans woman, this fact being the central plot point of her and Sumire's prequel visual novel 2ECONDS TO STΔRLIVHT: My Heart's Reflection. A heads-up about MHR, the game does depict transphobia, misgendering, and family confrontation and does give warnings for it on boot-up. There is an option to obscure misgendering language; however, this only censors out incorrect pronouns/gendered terms with asterisks.

Grace's, Sera's, and Hakuno's queerness are directly mentioned very early in the main game's story, too, during Chapter 0.IV.

The game doesn't shy away from these aspects when it's relevant to the plot, but that also isn't the entire point (unfortunately, I can't name said most central focus, as I'd consider it a spoiler). The story juggles a few main threads throughout, and some of those happen to focus on queerness.

There is representation outside of STΔRLIVHT, too: Rhyme (who is sapphic), Han (who is non-binary but doesn't show up in-person after MHR), and even the Producer herself can be sapphic if you select the option in which she comes out to STΔRLIVHT.

The representation is well-written, but that's a natural side effect of the story overall being very good. There are a lot of details that lend well to analysis, and some lines with very clear double-meaning that I fangirl over every time I see them. The characters all feel nuanced, even the antagonists. I don't know how to encapsulate what I like about the story, but I think the writing style and content work well for what it's trying to do, I'll say.

The way it builds on the lore established in the original NOISZ and the re:||VERSE DLC is very interesting, too. It very much messes with your expectations if you've played the original NOISZ, but then your knowledge comes in handy for understanding the plot later on. The connections are fascinating, in both how clear some are and how unclear others are. I'm excited for how the second half of the story will wrap things up.

The game is also very fun outside overall, and that's another reason I recommend it. The bullet hell and rhythm game work together very well, and there's a lot of fun, creative charting. Stellar song selection too, especially for an indie game, with a great pool of originals (although access to many of those is paywalled). Got some absolutely great musicians on for that like Camellia, Synthion, Iris, Soleily, Nhato, and Reku Mochizuki.

Anyway, that's what I wanted to say.

[factmrblog]

Gallium Oxide Market Demand & Growth Analysis Till 2030 - By Fact.MR

Besides the semiconductor industry, where demand is high, gallium oxide is also used by academic & research labs for research & development activities across regions. Fact.MR’s report dives deep into the reasons why this market space is highly consolidated in nature, and also dwells upon the reasons why new entrants find it difficult to break into this landscape.

With a surging semiconductor industry, the Asia Pacific region will lead the growth of the global gallium market through 2030. The report goes further to elaborate on how the COVID-19 pandemic will have short- and long-term effect on this sector.

Download Sample Copy of This Report:

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This Gallium oxide market outlook report explicates on vital dynamics such as the drivers, restraints and opportunities for key players and competitive analysis of Gallium oxide market along with key stakeholders as well as emerging players associated with the manufacturing of product.

The Key trends Analysis of Gallium oxide market also provides dynamics that are responsible for influencing the future Sales and Demand of over the forecast period.

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Fact.MR has studied the gallium oxide market with detailed segmentation on the basis of grade, product, application, and key regions.

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[earaercircular]

Roofing and lead substitutes from car windows: Dutch company is conquering the world with it

In the world, 1.3 billion square meters of roof are laid per year, often with bitumen. Millions of kilograms of lead are used for the finishing. In addition, 1.5 billion kilos of plastic waste from car windows are dumped or incinerated every year in Europe. The Dutch company Leadax came up with a solution to all these problems: recyclable lead substitutes and roofing made from discarded car windows.

Founder and CEO Roeland van Delden has been selling bitumen roofing, made from petroleum, for decades with parent company Bitufa[1]. This raw material is finite and causes a lot of CO2 emissions. Another commonly used roofing material is lead. Soft, bendable, heavy and very strong, but also poisonous. Lead pollution[2] in soil, water and food leads to kidney damage, brain damage, miscarriages, reduced fertility and behavioural changes. So something must change, he thought.

150 Eiffel Towers thrown away

At the same time, the world has a plastic waste problem. As we move towards a fully circular economy in 2050, we need to reuse and recycle that waste. In search of a raw material for a lead substitute, Van Delden arrived at polyvinyl butyral (PVB) in 2014, a type of plastic that is used as foil in safety glass, such as car windows and building windows. The strong material, for example, ensures that car windows do not break into a thousand pieces if a stone hits it while driving. Broken windows are now replaced and end up in the landfill or incinerator. In Europe alone, 1.5 billion kilos of PVB waste are thrown away every year, the weight of 150 Eifel towers. A shame, thought Van Delden.

Lead substitute

He decided to investigate whether he could turn that PVB waste into an alternative to lead or bitumen roofing. This is how Leadax[3] was born. “PVB is a so-called indefinite waste stream that we encountered. After a lot of testing and R&D, we launched the first product on the market in 2017: a circular lead substitute. We now sell these in sixteen countries,” says Leadax commercial director Bob Oostelbos.

The material replaces lead used to cover chimneys, cavity walls and dormer windows, including at monuments. In order to be able to replace entire roofs with bitumen, Leadax also developed sustainable roofing material made from recycled PVB. That material was launched in 2021 during the World Expo in Dubai[4]. It will soon be available in 26 European countries. “There were four basic materials in the world that roofing material is made of. We have now launched a fifth variant,” says Oostelbos.

Five times more sustainable

Leadax has had a life cycle assessment[5] (LCA) done for its products[6]. Among other things, it showed that it is 31 percent more durable than lead and about five times more durable than the most commonly used roofing material. The climate impact is small, for example because Leadax is made at considerably lower temperatures than lead. In addition, it uses recycled plastic and the material itself is recyclable. This is how it works[7]: the car windows that normally go to scrap, landfill or oven are separated into glass and PVB flakes at recycling company Maltha – part of Renewi,[8] among others. That PVB goes to the Leadax factory in the village of Wapenveld[9] in Dutch province of Gelderland, which turns it into roofing material. The factory generates its own electricity with solar panels. About thirty years after it has been applied to roofs, the covering is collected again and the material can be recycled.

Stop investing in bitumen

Leadax is growing fast. The company already has sixty employees, saw its sales grow by 50 percent last year and expects the same growth this year when the roofing is sold in even more countries. The sale of bitumen roofing by parent company Bitufa is still continuing. “But we are no longer focusing on further growth there, because we expect that market to decline. All investments go into the circular alternative Leadax,” says Oostelbos.

Medieval city crane

The lead substitute of the Dutch company is loved by owners of monuments and old farms. It looks just like lead and has the same strong properties, but is a lot more environmentally friendly. For example, the city of Utrecht had the roof of the reconstructed medieval city crane[10] clad with Leadax instead of lead. “Utrecht’s city council did not want lead to be used because this could pollute the surface water,” says Oostelbos. “This offered us the opportunity to show our product in an appealing project.”

Source

André Oerlemans: Dakbedekking en loodvervangers uit autoruiten: Nederlands bedrijf verovert er de wereld mee, in: Change Inc, 13-04-2023, https://www.change.inc/circulaire-economie/dakbedekking-en-loodvervangers-uit-autoruiten-nederlands-bedrijf-verovert-er-de-wereld-mee-39825

[1] Bitufa Waterproofing produces since 1979 SMART Waterproofing Solutions in 4 product groups: Non-lead Flashing; Flat Roofing Waterproofing; Road Solutions; Basement Waterproofing. http://www.bitufa.com

[2] Lead has no essential function in your body. Excessive exposure to lead through food, pottery, crystal glass, water and air, for example, can have negative effects on health. For example, it can cause anemia and increased blood pressure

[3] The history of our sustainable roofing materials began in 2014 when we started looking for a sustainable raw material for our lead substitute, which can also be recycled at the end of its life. We came across polyvinyl butyral (PVB), a type of plastic that is used in safety glass, such as car windows and building glass. This plastic film is very strong and ensures, for example, that a car window does not break into a thousand pieces when a stone hits it while driving. If this window is replaced, the plastic waste ends up in a landfill or in an incinerator. In other words, indeterminate waste. A shame for such a strong raw material. That is why we decided to give PVB a different destination. After years of research, development and intensive testing, we launched our first lead substitute, made from recycled PVB, on the market in 2017: 'Leadax Original'. Since then, our range of lead substitutes has grown rapidly and we also offer two self-adhesive lead substitutes: Leadax Easy FA and Leadax Easy SA. Together with our exclusive Dutch distributor VisscherHolland Bouw we make a difference for people and the environment. We produce the best, circular roofing materials, and they provide distribution, service and support to the points of sale. On this page you will find an overview of the points of sale. https://leadax.com/nl/ons-verhaal/?_ga=2.20187192.1201438081.1682262310-2025830176.1679753316

[4] The World Expo takes place once every five years and is the exhibition where the world shows its greatest innovations of the moment for six months. Leadax has the honor of waterproofing the Dutch Pavilion at World Expo 2020 Dubai with circular building materials, such as its lead substitute and roofing material. Both products are the most sustainable variant in their category. PVB waste from laminated glass, such as car windows, is used by Leadax as raw material for its recyclable products. https://leadax.com/nl/leadax-world-expo-2020-dubai/?_ga=2.128650252.1201438081.1682262310-2025830176.1679753316

[5] Life cycle assessment or LCA (also known as life cycle analysis) is a methodology for assessing environmental impacts associated with all the stages of the life cycle of a commercial product, process, or service. For instance, in the case of a manufactured product, environmental impacts are assessed from raw material extraction and processing (cradle), through the product's manufacture, distribution and use, to the recycling or final disposal of the materials composing it (grave). An LCA study involves a thorough inventory of the energy and materials that are required across the industry value chain of the product, process or service, and calculates the corresponding emissions to the environment. LCA thus assesses cumulative potential environmental impacts. The aim is to document and improve the overall environmental profile of the product.

[6] https://www.kiwa.com/nl/en/news/news/nibe-investigates-kiwa-certifies-leadax---the-new-lead/?_ga=2.195102764.1201438081.1682262310-2025830176.1679753316

[7] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xbq3JEtiiv4

[8] Waste-to-product organization Renewi collects waste, processes it and turns it into new raw materials. Of the 14 million tons of waste the company processes annually, 65 percent is recycled or used for energy recovery through incineration. The company was created in 2017 after a merger of Shanks Group with the Van Gansewinkel Group. Renewi is listed on the London Stock Exchange and Euronext Amsterdam. The head office is in the United Kingdom. https://www.change.inc/bedrijven/renewi

[9] Wapenveld is a village in the eastern Netherlands. It is located in the municipality of Heerde, Gelderland, about 10 km from Zwolle and 100 km from Amsterdam. The village with 6,000 inhabitants, is situated where the valley of the river IJssel meets the Veluwe woods. The people of Wapenveld earn their living from agriculture (mainly cattle) and industry, mainly AKZO Nobel. Until 2008, Wapenveld was also home to the Berghuizer paper factory.

[10] The city of Utrecht is getting a piece of history back in the form of a medieval crane. From 1402 to 1839 there was a city crane at the current Winkel van Sinkel on the Oudegracht. This medieval building had completely disappeared from the street scene. Until September 10, 2022. From this moment on, the crane can be admired again at the Utrecht canals. With a sustainable adjustment. The traditional lead is making way for its circular replacement: Leadax Original. https://www.cirkelstad.nl/de-stadskraan-in-utrecht-herboren/?_ga=2.28427964.1201438081.1682262310-2025830176.1679753316

[lasclsay]

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[dootdootwriting]

CONGRATS FOR 600+!!! I SAW UR EVENT SO IF I HAVE THE CHANCE, IM TAKING IT

The whole alphabet for Thoma. (Gn reader)

PLEASE dont overwork yourself though. You dont have to do it all if youre tired or something. Thank you and congrats!

600+ writing event

ty for ur request anon!! also you're funny. overwork myself? how could i possibly do that when i'm already avoiding all of my schoolwork? entire alphabet for thoma coming right up! (under the cut for length)

fluff alphabet with thoma; gn reader; no warnings apply

A-Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

- thoma enjoys pretty much any type of shared activities with you, but ultimately his favorite kind is any that involves food. he'll go on tours of inazuma city with you to find the best places to get ice cream, or he'll buy a whole bunch of food and see what kind of dishes you can make together! nine times out of ten it ends up being really weird and a little gross, but it's fun and he loves spending time with you.

B-Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

- he admires your ambition, your humor, and your own personal flair. he loves the person you are, and almost everything that goes into that, but he specifically loves the unique little traits that make you you.

C-Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

- his first instinct is to give you a big hug or rub your back, but only if he knows you're okay with it and that it would actually help. his first goal is to make sure you're okay, and then his second goal is to cheer you up: with bad jokes and kisses, usually

D-Dreams (how do they picture the future with their s/o?)

- thoma isn't super picky with how you two end up in the future, as long as you're together and happy. he wants to grow old with you, ideally, though however you do that will decide itself.

E-Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?)

- thoma is used to taking the lead in your relationship, but he's not necessarily more dominant or anything - he's just excited to be with you and wants to make sure you're just as happy as he is. your relationship is pretty balanced!

F-Fun (what do they do for fun with their s/o? what's their idea of a fun day out?)

- he loves loves loves going out on walks, especially in the city, and just finding random things that seem fun to do. there are a bunch of people playing cornhole over there, how about you guys join in for a game? they're selling a new kind of hotpot at that restaurant, better give it a try!

G-Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

- he's definitely aware of everything you do for him, and he's also very grateful that you're with him. he makes sure to let you know that every day.

H-Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

- i think the only time thoma would ever keep something from you on purpose is if it would be somehow dangerous for you to know. other than that, he likes to make sure you're aware of everything you need to be. he likes his privacy like anyone else, but he also values communication.

I-Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

- being with you hasn't necessarily changed him (aside from the fact that you two are almost always seen together now) but it's definitely improved his mood a lot, not that it was ever really bad. he also likes to show off more now that you're around...

J-Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

- thoma gets jealous relatively easily but is also not one to step in unless it's a situation in which you seem uncomfortable. he trusts you wholeheartedly, which sometimes means he has to keep himself from getting overly worried.

K-Kisses (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?).

- he's a very good kisser. thoma's kisses are playful and sweet, or alternatively full of reassurance and love. your first kiss was a little rushed and he was a little nervous (not that he'd ever admit that) but he knew it was the right time.

L-Love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

- confesses accidentally while watching you do something that's actually pretty normal. you tap him on the shoulder and ask where he wants to go for lunch and he just kinda stares at you and then says "man i love you" and you're like. what. but he plays it off like he TOTALLY MEANT to say that and definitely didn't slip up.

M-Mornings (what's it like waking up with them? do they sleep late or wake up before the sun rises?)

- lazy lazy lazy. thoma knows he has to go to work but why would he do that when you're next to him all curled up into him? he can't just abandon you like that! fortunately the kamisatos are very forgiving, so when he shows up late they don't give him an earful.

N-Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?)

- babe/baby, sunshine, and occasionally sweetheart but usually just to tease you

O-On cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

- when thoma first realizes he's in love with you it hits him like a truck and he has to sit down for a second to process it. after that he hangs around you a lot more often, and it's pretty obvious to anyone watching that he's in love.

P-PDA (how are they with PDA? is it fun to them or are they more reserved with their affection?)

- thoma's comfortable with pda and likes to tease you with it sometimes, unless you're someone who absolutely hates it, in which case he'll settle with handholding. otherwise, he'll give you random light kisses on the cheek or will grab you and pull you into him at random points throughout the day.

Q-Quirk (some random thing they do when they're with you for no reason in particular)

- his nose scrunches when he's trying not to laugh at you, which makes you laugh at him, which makes him laugh at you. congratulations! you have achieved pile of laughter.

R-Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

- thoma is very romantic and also values friendship with his partner as well. he's sort of a mix between cliché and creative - while he will definitely take you out for a fancy dinner and lend you his jacket, he will also take you out to the lake and push you in or make a date out of who can spot the most dogs on a day out.

S-Support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals do they believe in them?)

- one hundred percent he believes in you and will do his best to help you achieve any goals you have. ok thats the end of this headcanon i have nothing else to say GHCCN

T-Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship or do they prefer certain routine?)

- thoma loves trying new things! he doesn't need things to change constantly (and also that might be very tiring for him) but he does like to switch things up a little.

U-Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

- forgot to change it from "good" to "well." WHOOPS. anyway

- thoma is very empathetic, so he's quick to understand how you're feeling, though it'll take him a little longer to understand why it is you're feeling like that. once you explain to him, he knows just what to do, whether it be celebrate with you on a big win or comfort you or give you some space.

V-Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is its worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

- it's SO important to him. having you in his life is one of the most important things to him. he's also been with the kamisatos for a really long time though, so thoma will need a little bit to sort out where his priorities are. rest assured that you're definitely up there.

W-Wild card (a random fluff headcanon?)

- thoma really likes the feeling of you running your fingers through his hair. bonus points if you wash it for him (he'll return the favor)

X-XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

- if you're ever available for affection, thoma will take advantage of it. he loves being close to you and generally just the feeling of loving and being loved in return, especially when that incorporates physical affection. listen he just really likes being kissed.

Y- Yearning (how will they cope when they are missing their partner?)

- when you're gone thoma will surround himself with things that remind him of you. he'll also occasionally call your name or say things to you absentmindedly before remembering you're not there at present. poor guy... he'll be very happy once you're home.

Z-Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

- it depends on the lengths. the worst case scenario for thoma would be if he somehow had to choose between you and his work - that would terrify him, even though there's no way it would ever happen. other than that, since you're way up on his priority list, there's not much that he wouldn't do for you.

[skiller0dani]

Intoxicated | Klaus Hargreeves

M A S T E R L I S T TUA Masterlist

smut | teen!klaus x teen!reader requests info w.c | 8.9k summary | you fell in love with klaus when you were teenagers. but after he continues to relapse, you lose faith that he will get clean. when you see him again as an adult, has anything changed?

The first time you properly met Klaus you were both around 17, and he was slumped against the wall of an alleyway. His face was bare of facial hair, and he looked far too boyish for a needle to be still in his arm. You were only out looking for him as a favor to Allison, whom you’d known since you were both children. You never paid much attention to Klaus, or any of her other siblings but after hours of incessant begging you’d finally agreed to go look for him. You still remembered her frantic voice over the phone.

“Please? If my Dad notices Klaus is gone he’ll lock him up in the Mausoleum to dry him out.”

You might not care much for Klaus or his drug habit, but you couldn’t just let Mr. Hargreeves lock him up so that ghosts can torment him while he sobers up. You know Allison is just protecting him, but you can tell even she is starting to lose faith in Klaus. It’s honestly sort of heartbreaking. But hopefully if you get him back in time, maybe you can get him sober enough to fool Mr. Hargreeves into thinking Klaus finally cleaned up.

“Klaus!” You rush to him immediately, carefully pulling the needle out of his arm. You tuck it into your bag so that Grace can help you and Allison figure out what Klaus took. You trust that Grace wont tell Mr. Hargreeves, the only thing more powerful than the programming is her desire to protect her children. His eyes are barely open when he smiles at you, his pupils blown wide open. You brush his hair out of his face, his palm twitching in yours as you take his hand to pull him to stand.

“Can you stand?” You ask him, watching as his arm limply falls from your hand.

“You’re not really here, you’ve never even looked at me twice…” Klaus mumbles through a slack jaw. That’s when his eyes roll back.

“Klaus?” You gently slap his cheeks, trying to get his attention. You sigh deeply, worried when you see his eyes roll again behind closed eyelids. Is he seizing? His body jerks once before sliding further down the wall. You know you can’t leave him here, but you also know that you need Luther to come get Klaus, you can’t move him.

“Please don’t move, I’ll be right back.” You say hurriedly, cupping his cheeks to force him to look at you. Klaus grunts in what you can only hope is an acknowledgement that he heard you before you’re standing and sprinting for the Academy. By the time you’d reached your destination and had delivered your convincing argument to Luther, it’d been 45 minutes. You lead the way back to Klaus praying to God that he was exactly where you’d left him, but you doubt it. Sure enough, when you turned the corner into the alley, Klaus was nowhere to be seen.

“Shit!” You cursed, a panicked glint in your eyes as you helplessly turned to Luther.

“Please help me find him.” You plead, grasping desperately onto his arm. Luther has what you can only describe as a scowl on his face as he turns to you.

“I’m not doing this again.” He snapped.

“What do you mean?”

“Getting invested in Klaus’s recovery, I’m not doing it again. Letting myself believe that he could get clean only leads to more disappointment when he eventually uses again.” You can see layers of old scars in his eyes, reflections of all the times Klaus has relapsed and let his siblings down.

“Luther I get it, really I do. But right now Klaus is God knows where, and when Reginald realizes-” The mention of his father causes Luther to stiffen considerably. Deep down Luther knows that Klaus wouldn’t have substance abuse issues if he didn’t spend half his childhood locked in that damn Mausoleum being tormented by the dead.

“Let’s just find him quickly.” You nearly celebrate when Luther finally relents but you don’t, instead you immediately start searching the surrounding streets and alleys in search of your resident junkie. You doubt Klaus could go very far, he’d been in really bad shape when you saw him last. He could hardly sit up let alone walk, did he crawl?

“Found him!” You hear Luther call, and when you turn you see Luther standing with Klaus slung over his shoulder at the end of the alleyway. Klaus has the hint of a smile on his face as Luther hauls him back, and you’d almost say Klaus looks entertained. Although, it could be the hallucinations making him smile like that. By the time you’d arrived back at the Academy, the mysterious needle you’d taken from Klaus’s arm earlier had been thoroughly tested by Grace.

“It’s heroin.” Allison’s shaky voice came from the doorway of Klaus’s bedroom. You turned to look at her, watching as nothing but anger fills her eyes.

“He promised me that he’d never done any hard drugs, he promised it was just weed and painkillers! And he’s injecting heroin?” You can tell that she really is hurt, you can see the betrayal in her eyes before she’s turning out of his room.

“Allison-”

“No, I won’t watch him slowly kill himself. In 2 weeks when we finally turn 18 he’ll be gone anyway. Don’t forget to invite me to his funeral.” She snaps, wiping her eyes before slamming his door shut. It was then that you’d decided not to give up on him, because the second everyone lost faith in him was the second they signed his death certificate. Loving an addict is harder than you would think, but you were willing to be Klaus’s person, so long as he was dedicated to getting better. If Klaus gives up on himself, then there’s no point. So you sat on the edge of his bed and used a rag to wipe away dried vomit on his face and neck, plus you dabbed at a closing gash on his head which was still bleeding a little.

“Y/N?” You hear him mumble, and when you look up at him again you see his eyes have cracked open. You brush his hair off his forehead, and the look in his eyes has your entire body heating up. It’s not a particularly provocative look, more of a hungry curiosity. There was still gentleness there, and a sincerity beneath it all. All his siblings have given up on him at this point, and deep down you think Klaus knows that. They’ve reached the point that the next time Klaus goes missing, they won’t look for him or even worse- they won’t even realize he’s gone. The thought breaks your heart.

“Hi.” You can’t think of anything else to say. Klaus reaches one hand up to wind into your hair, a sly smile crossing onto his face.

“Can’t say I remember the last time we properly spent quality time together.” He raises one brow, his hazel eyes twinkling mischievously.

“That’s because we never have.”

“What a shame.” The smug smile on his face makes your cheeks heat up embarrassingly. You feel all mushy in his presence.

“You have to get clean before Reginald gets home tomorrow.”

“Oh wouldn’t want to disappoint daddy dearest.” You can practically taste the sarcasm in his tone, but still he keeps that damn smile stretched across his face.

“He’ll lock you away if he finds out, stop pretending like this isn’t a big deal.” You sigh, standing to find him clean clothes. Klaus pushes himself onto his elbows, his head is swimming. The nausea twisting his gut is hard to ignore, but watching you bend over in those tight jeans has him ignoring the discomfort. He wouldn’t miss the show for anything.

“Enjoying yourself?” You ask him once you notice him staring. You use snarky comments to hide how flushed you are, how flustered you are from the heat in his gaze.

“Enjoying the view.” Is all Klaus says, and you know he can see how red your cheeks are. You shake your head as you toss clean clothes at him, quickly diverting your eyes when he begins to undress with you still in the room.

“Jesus, warn me next time!” You squeak as you turn your eyes to the ground when he tosses his dirty pair of tight jeans at you along with his shirt. You hear the zipper of his tight black jeans pull up and that’s when you decide it’s safe to look. When you eye him again, he’s sitting up on the bed pulling his shirt on over his head.

“What’s the fun in that?” Despite his snarky comebacks and the smirk on his face, you can tell he doesn’t feel good at all. There are bags under his eyes and he winces every time he moves. You place a hand on his shoulder when he tries to stand, a look he can’t quite read on your face.

“I’m gonna make you something to eat, please don’t go anywhere.” The genuine fear in your eyes as you look down at him has Klaus rooted to the bed. Suddenly a fear of letting you down cripples him then, and he can only manage a nod before you’re leaving the room.

//

The first time you saw Klaus overdosing you had come home from work early. It was a few months since you and Luther found him in that alleyway, and he’d made no attempts to clean up. Of course you thought he was clean and attending meetings. Klaus knew you’d be heartbroken if you knew the truth, and he was borderline worried you’d kick him out if you knew he spent most of the day high. If he knew that you’d fallen head over heels for him, he wouldn’t be worried about being kicked out. Klaus was clean the first week he moved in with you, but then came the ghosts. Their voices echoing in his head, their bloodied and battered bodies plaguing his every waking moment. He had clamped his hands over his ears to try and block them out, and he actually endured the tortuous voices for 17 hours before he gave in and popped some oxy.

“Klaus I’m back-'' Before you could finish whatever you were saying you spotted him lying unconscious on the living room floor. You dropped a glass platter and everything felt like it was happening in slow motion. You immediately scrambled towards him as the glass shattered everywhere. Your hands cupped his cheeks as tears filled your eyes, and you could not stop shaking.

“K-Klaus?” You gasped, shaking his shoulders to no avail. His body was practically lifeless, and his skin was almost gray and colorless. You lifted his wrist to check his pulse, and nearly burst into tears of relief when you felt a pulse but it was fading fast.

“Damnit Klaus!” You sobbed to yourself, leaning down to see if he was breathing. You held your breath, and prayed you would hear his faint breath. When you didn’t, it felt like you had been plunged into cold water. The panic struck you deep in your chest and you quickly sat up to perform CPR. You tilted his head back as the tears flowed down your cheeks, and you quickly started compressions. You reached into your pocket to press the stupid little life alert button you’d purchased when Klaus moved in. In moments like this you knew you needed a quick way to call an ambulance. You listened for his breathing once more, and cried softly when you still didn’t hear any breathing.

“Klaus please, please.” You didn’t know what you were pleading for, but you were so desperate for him to be okay that you couldn’t think straight. You continued compressions and then breathing into his mouth for 10 minutes before the emergency services arrived. They nearly had to pry you off him before shoving a breathing tube down his throat, and injecting him with something in a syringe. You’d climbed into the ambulance next to Klaus, his hand held tightly in yours. He looked lifeless in the hospital room, his eyes were closed and there were tubes sticking out of him. The steady beeping from the monitor was your only clue that his heart was still beating. You called his siblings, but after 5 hours you figured they weren’t going to come, you doubt they’d even listen to the message. Underneath the fear there’s anger, so much anger. How could he do this to you? He lied to you. He said he was clean! Did he ever attend a meeting or was that just a lie to go get more weed and pills?

“Hey you.” You hear his raspy voice from beside you. Once he started breathing on his own again they replaced the breathing tube for oxygen in his nose. The doctors said they would need to keep him here until he completely detoxed. There are tears welling in your eyes and you refuse to meet his eyes, you’re upset and he knows that.

“Baby I’m sorry.” Klaus tries, his hand reaching out for yours. You keep your arms folded as a tear finally falls down your cheek. Klaus hates seeing you cry and he hates even more that he is the reason you’re crying. You weren’t entirely surprised to hear him call you baby, you and Klaus have gotten close during the time he’s been living with you.

“Please look at me.” Klaus begs, a break in his voice that lets you know he has tears in his eyes. You lifted your gaze to meet his, and you see how sick he looks. His skin is gray, his eyes are sunken in and they have bags under them.

“How could you? You lied to me.” Your voice is soft, broken. This is the first time Klaus has truly let you down and you can’t help but wonder if this is how his siblings have felt every time he’s let them down. You see guilt flash in his eyes, the look in your eyes is worse than any other look Klaus has received from his brothers and sisters.

“What if I didn’t get off work early? Then you’d be dead Klaus!” You sobbed, tears wracking your body.

“Baby I swear when I get out I’ll get it together. I-I’ll clean up I promise.” A stray tear falls down his cheek and Klaus quickly reaches up to wipe it away. His hands are trembling when they reach for yours again but you still don’t budge.

“No Klaus, you’re going into fucking rehab. I can’t live with the constant fear of coming home and finding you dead. I love you too much to lose you.” The last part slips out by accident, but you can’t take it back. Klaus’s eyes widen as another tear trails down his cheek, and this time he doesn’t wipe it away.

“You love me?” How could he not know? You laugh bitterly as tears continue to cascade down your cheeks.

“Yes I do, and if you give even half a damn about me you’ll check into rehab.” You beg, your watery eyes finding his. Klaus lays his head back, his own teary eyes looking up to the ceiling before they close and he takes a deep breath.

“I love you so fucking much, so I’ll do it. For you.” Klaus finally whispers, reaching for you one last time and this time, you take his hand.

//

“Please tell me you’re going to take this seriously. Please? I-I can’t lose you.” You beg a few days later once Klaus was finally cleared to leave the hospital, but he would be going right to rehab. The doctors had him sign a document agreeing to be taken straight to an intensive rehab program as soon as he was released from the hospital. Klaus in all honesty was a tad bit put off by the idea of going into rehab, and was downright terrified of having to deal with the voices. Luckily he had Ben with him to help keep him sane while he was in rehab. Klaus really does love you, and he really does want to give sobriety a shot- but only for you.

“I promise, I already said I was really going to try.” Klaus sighed, turning his gaze down to look at you.

“You have no idea what that was like for me Klaus. Coming home to your lifeless body, I-I thought you were fucking dead.” You snapped, looking away from him as tears build in your eyes again. You’re so sick of crying. You feel his fingers grasping your chin, turning your head to look at him.

“I’m not dead baby, I’m here. I’m gonna get clean, and I’m gonna stay clean. I promise.” Klaus whispered before pressing his lips against yours. What you didn’t know then was that Klaus would be making that promise a hundred more times, and he’d be breaking it a hundred times. Deep down he didn’t want to get clean, he didn’t care enough about himself to try. The dead were too overwhelming, too scary, too much. Klaus couldn’t handle it, he didn’t want to. What he wanted was to be completely numb. The kiss was watery, but you pressed against him with such ferocity you almost took him by surprise.

“Mr. Hargreeves? The van is here.” A nurse says, clearing her throat awkwardly from the door. Klaus breaks the kiss first, his forehead pressed against yours. You can’t stop the tears as they trail down your cheeks. You sling his bag over your shoulder as the two of you head outside together. You see a man in scrubs take Klaus’s bag as other patients from the hospital pile into the van.

“I’ll only be gone for 3 months. Be back in a flash.” Klaus smiles, but the mischievousness doesn’t quite meet his eyes.

“I love you.” You whisper as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I love you.” Is the last thing you hear him whisper before he’s climbing into the van.

//

Klaus’s sobriety didn’t last long after rehab. Sure he’d attended all the group therapy sessions, and the annual detox therapy, he saw his therapist and followed the steps. He’d gone through the entire agonizing process of detoxing from the drugs. He wanted to be better, but then the voices came once more. Wailing in his ear about how desperately they wished to be alive, all the horrible details of their death, all the people they left behind. Ben tried to talk Klaus through it, to help him embrace his powers rather than reject them. But when Klaus sat straight up in bed, your sleeping body next to him and a thousand desperate voices screaming in his head he couldn’t take anymore.

“Don’t do this.” Ben pleaded, although he sounded defeated more than desperate. But Klaus’s shaking hands were already reaching for the closest pair of pants, which happened to be one of your skirts. Klaus was way more than itching for a fix, he was downright clawing for one. His eyes were wild as he stood up slowly, careful not to wake you up.

“She trusts you Klaus.” Ben tries again, he’s begun resorting to guilt tripping to keep Klaus sober. For the last few days it’s seemed to work, but Ben doubts it’s going to work now. Klaus is too far gone. “That isn’t going to last forever, eventually she will give up on you.”

“Shut up.” Klaus hisses, pulling sneakers on before turning for the door of the apartment. Ben appears in the doorway of the staircase, and Klaus raises a brow.

“Save whatever speech you have planned, I need it now.” Klaus says desperately, walking down the stairs- through Ben.

“Screw you Klaus, you’re taking advantage of her!” Ben snaps, you may not know Ben is around but he’s gotten to know you. He cares about you, in a sisterly way, and he hates seeing Klaus take your love and throw it away.

“Shut the hell up Ben.” There is genuine anger in Klaus’s tone now, his fists clenched as he continued towards where his normal dealer hangs out. Ben doesn’t particularly like hurting Klaus, but dammit someone has to stop him from destroying his own life.

“If you really cared about Y/N, you’d turn around and go home. She’s still laying in bed, thinking you’re next to her. How amazing is it that she wants you to be next to her, and you don’t seem to care at all. If I was alive, I’d love her right.” Ben yells, and this causes Klaus to freeze.

“Like hell you could! Y/N only wants me.” Klaus insists, but Ben can see the insecurity swirling in his eyes.

“For how long? When she realizes you relapsed again she isn’t going to want anything to do with you. Or you could go home Klaus, and put her first for once.” Ben says, his voice calmer this time. Tears well in Klaus’s eyes, he loves you more than anything on this whole planet.

“I’m sorry, I need it.” Klaus whispers before turning down the alley to see his dealer. This time, Ben doesn’t follow him. He can’t watch Klaus overdose again, he can’t watch him throw you away for drugs.

//

The first time you have sex with Klaus, he was high. You don’t know that, and Klaus knows exactly how you’d react if you did. It was a month since Klaus had gotten out of rehab, and you believed it also signaled a month of sobriety for him. In reality, Klaus hadn’t even made it a week before he relapsed after rehab. You wanted to celebrate with him, to do something nice for him. Ben watched you light candles while Klaus took a “nap”. It made him sick to see you do so many nice things for Klaus, while Klaus was really shooting up in your shared bathroom. You’re out here setting up something nice to celebrate Klaus’s sobriety, and he’s injecting heroin into his veins. It truly does make Ben sick. You lit the last candle, and when you reached up to remove your robe and reveal your lingerie- Ben disappeared. He isn't a pervert, he knew where this was going.

“Klaus?” You called nervously, smoothing your babydoll lace as you sat on the bed. You knew you wanted this, you were just nervous. When he emerged from the bathroom, his eyes widened as they landed on your nearly exposed breasts. He’d never seen you so naked before. Klaus swallowed a thick lump in his throat, and suddenly everything felt hotter, and tighter.

“Hey.” Is all he can say before an easy smile makes its way across his face.

“I just wanted to congratulate you on 1 month of sobriety.” You say softly with a smile, and then all the happiness drains away. Klaus feels sick to his stomach as guilt nearly brings him to his knees. You believe in him, and he’s pissing it all away. He wished he was stronger, but he isn’t. Klaus is weak and he isn’t worth it, and soon you’re going to realize that.

“You didn’t have to do this.” Klaus whispers and you shrug with a nervous smile on your face.

“You don’t like it?” You ask, your eyes widening. You’re really putting yourself out there and you can only hope he likes this. Klaus takes a step forward, his hands landing on your hips.

“No baby I do! I love this.” Klaus reassures you, and you feel your cheeks heat up when you see his eyes go wandering down your body. HIs lips lower to yours then and you feel like you’re up in the clouds. Klaus feels his heart breaking with every tender movement, every gentle brush of your fingers through his hair. It’s all he can do but to grab you and press you against his body with a bruising force. The desperation in his movements is what catches you off guard, his hands are hauling your thighs up around his waist. Normally Klaus isn’t this assertive in the bedroom, but he needs to feel your skin against his. He needs to know you’re here with him, because soon you won’t be. He knows that.

It’s not long before you’re undressed and your legs are spread open for him, and Klaus has no idea what he ever did to deserve you. Deep down he knows he doesn’t, you deserve someone like Ben. Maybe that’s why what Ben said really struck a nerve, because deep down Klaus knows if Ben were alive- you’d choose him. You’d never choose Klaus if he were being compared to Ben. Klaus grasps his cock in his hand before guiding the head into your tight opening, and when he pushes into you- it feels like absolute heaven. But there’s only one thought on Klaus’s mind, I don’t deserve this.

//

The second time you see Klaus overdose, it’s the morning after the best night of your life. It’s the morning after you sleep with him, the morning after you feel truly connected to him like you’re one. You stretched with a yawn, a smile on your face as your hand reaches over to where Klaus is sleeping next to you. When your hand finds cold sheets your eyes blink open, he’s already awake?

“Klaus?” You call softly, waiting for a response. When you don’t get one you finally drag yourself out of bed, you enter the living room. Again no sign of Klaus whatsoever. Panic creeps into your chest then, he’s just out getting coffee or something to surprise you. You bite nervously at your nails before you turn back to your room to push into the bathroom. The sight before you draws a gasp from you. Klaus is slumped against the wall, his arm still on the toilet with the tourniquet around his arm. The needle is on the lid of the toilet next to his arm, and you immediately rush towards him.

“What have you done?” You whisper desperately, reaching for the life alert you have in the bathroom. You have one in every room in your apartment, which at the time felt like overkill but now looking back on it you’re happy you did. You pull Klaus to lay on his back, yanking the tourniquet off his arm. You try to feel for a pulse, and much to your horror you don’t feel a pulse. You frantically press your ear to his chest, his heart isn’t beating.

“Oh my God Klaus!” You nearly scream in horror, balling your fist up and slamming it down on his chest as hard as you can. You continue to do this, tears cascading down your cheeks. He’s dead, his heart isn’t beating.

“Klaus, why? You said you were sober!” You scream in pure emotional agony. You hardly notice when the paramedics arrive until they pull you away from him.

“H-his heart isn’t beating. Please help him.” You beg as they rush him out of the apartment, but this time...you don’t go with him. You’ve finally reached the point all of Klaus’s siblings reached, the point where you just can’t take being let down anymore. You believe in him, you feel hopeful. Then you feel lower than low when you realize he relapsed again, you can’t do this anymore. You can’t take the let down anymore.

It’s a few days before you go see Klaus in the hospital, and you know what you have to do but you’re not sure you have the strength to do it. Klaus is sitting in bed, eating chocolate pudding, and this time he looks worse than last time. He glances up at you when you come in, and he has to do a double take.

“Baby-”

“Please don’t. I don’t want to hear your excuses, or your promises to get clean.” You interrupt, and it’s only just now that he notices a suitcase in your hand. There are tears endlessly falling down your cheeks, and inside you feel completely dead. Klaus knows what the suitcase is for, he knows that you’ve lost faith in him. Just like Ben predicted you would, but despite the fact that this is all Klaus’s fault...Ben still sits nearby with a look of sadness upon his face.

“What’s the suitcase for?” Klaus brings himself to ask the dreaded question even though he already knows the answer. You swallow a lump before depositing the suitcase on a chair at the end of his bed.

“That’s all your stuff. D-Don’t come back to my apartment. Don’t call. I can’t be with you like this.” You cry, watching as the broken look on your face crosses onto Klaus’s.

“Baby please don’t do this. Just give me another chance, I’ll stay clean this time-” But you’re already shaking your head, taking slow steps back towards the door.

“We’re over Klaus. I’m done. I can’t be terrified of finding your dead body, I can’t wonder where you are at night or where you’re going when you sneak out. I can’t live like this anymore, I don’t want to live like this.” You sob, your shoulders shaking as you cry softly.

“Please don’t give up on me, not you.” Klaus pleads, and the look in his eyes nearly makes you change your mind, But then you remember where he is, that he did this to himself. You shake your head.

“You’ve given me no choice Klaus! I can’t take it anymore, I can’t handle anymore heartbreak.” You snap, tears heavy on your cheeks.

“I can get my shit together, I can!” Klaus pleads as your hand finds the door handle. He can’t lose you, not you. Anybody but you.

“I know you can, but I can’t wait around wondering if you’ll get your shit together before you overdose and die. I can’t wait around hoping the latter will come first. Goodbye Klaus.” You open the door and step into the hallway.

“No, Y/N please. I love you.” You hear Klaus call before you’re closing the door behind you. Your heart shatters as you do, and continues to shatter as you walk away.

Despite what you said, he called. He called over and over again and even came to your apartment. You remember him knocking and begging you to open the door, you had slid down the wall sobbing softly with your hand over your mouth. You love Klaus more than you’ve ever loved anyone, but you can’t watch him die. You can’t. You had to let him go and hope that someday he gets clean, and that he stays clean. You hope that someday he finds something or someone to stay clean for. Clearly, you weren’t enough.

“Please open the door, I know you’re in there.” Klaus begs, leaning against the closed door.

“She’s crying. I don’t think she’s going to open the door.” Ben says, poking his head through the door to look at you. His heart breaks for you, he tried to warn Klaus this was going to happen.

“I love you Y/N, just give me one more chance please.” Klaus tries again but you stay rooted to the floor, your body shaking through the tears.

“You’re hurting her Klaus.” Ben says softly, and Klaus finally takes a step away from the door with a look of realization on his face. He is hurting you. You don’t want him here, and as much as that kills him it’s the truth. The longer he sits here in the hallway, the more you’re going to cry. He has to let you go. He quickly wipes away falling tears before slinging his bag over his shoulder. Klaus leans down to slide something under the door before heading back down the stairs, and this time he isn’t going to be coming back. You turn to see a piece of paper with a plastic bag sitting on your kitchen floor. You lift the bag, and inside it is a necklace. It’s a silver heart with diamonds along the side, but on the inside is a rose made out of rose gold. You feel tears drifting down your cheeks as you turn to the note.

“Happy 1 Year Anniversary. I love you. -K”

You collapse to the floor, clutching the necklace and the note to your chest tightly. You never thought you would lose him, actually you were stupid enough to believe you could save him from himself. But you can’t save him, you never could. No matter how much you love him, it’s time to let him go and you can only hope that the next time you see him isn’t at his funeral.

//

-9 Years Later-

The letter clutched in your hand was one you never thought you’d be receiving. It’s from Allison, saying that her father died so she’s in town. You can’t fight the excitement you feel upon realizing you’re probably going to see her soon. You missed her. The prospect of running into Klaus crosses your mind, but c’mon what are the chances he’ll even show up? His father locked him in a Mausoleum for most of his childhood, you know for a fact that Klaus has no love for Reginald. You’re surprised Allison is going, but then again Reginald always did his little “experiments” on Klaus. Never the others. Besides Vanya, he treated Klaus the absolute worst. So you seriously doubt Klaus will turn up, plus you’ll only be there for like 10 minutes to see Allison. That’s the only reason you’re standing here, knocking on the door.

“It’s been a while Miss Y/L/N.” Pogo says once the door opens. You smile upon seeing him and can’t help yourself as you stoop down to hug him tightly. You’ve really missed Pogo these last few years. But you had to forget all of this, push it to the back of your mind. Any reminder of Klaus would cause you to collapse into tears, so you couldn’t think about any of it. There were a few times you nearly asked Allison to use her powers to erase your relationship with Klaus from your head. There was a while where you felt like you couldn’t be happy without him, but overall you did fine.

“Oh my God! Y/N!” You hear her before you see her and before you’ve even properly turned around Allison’s arms are winding around you tightly. You feel tears burning the backs of your eyes as you hug her back, it’s so good to see her. When Allison pulls back, her eyes scan your face before flickering behind you.

“Where’s Klaus?” If it were a few years ago, the question would have sent you to your knees in tears. You shake your head with a smile.

“We broke up a few years ago.” The pain behind your eyes is unmistakable. Allison nods before her gaze is flickering down to the necklace secured around your neck.

“Then what’s that?” She lifts the necklace in her hand, the necklace Klaus had slid under your door.

“It’s just a necklace I don’t know what you-”

“I helped him pick it out Y/N. It was the last time I talked to him.” She said and you nod slowly. You hold the metal in your hands, you’ve been wearing it every day since he gave it to you. Clinging to it like it’s the last piece of him you have, which is sort of true. You stole a few t-shirts of his too.

“I was just about to poke around in my Dad’s office, wanna come?” The playful glint in her eyes sends away the tears that were about to spill over your cheeks. You nod instantly, that was the one room they were never allowed to go into. You skip up the stairs behind Allison, running your fingers along the bannister. You remember all the times you ran up these stairs with Allison, either running away from Reginald or Pogo. Or the times you’d gotten hurt and Grace was there to run her fingers through your hair and hold you to her chest, she really was the best mom. She was a mom to you too, your own parents are pieces of shit and the only person you ever really had was Grace.

“Wow, so weird being in here.” You say once you two breach the threshold into the office. It only takes a few seconds for you to hear someone rummaging around in the drawers. You doubt Luther could fit behind the desk without you seeing him so it’s not him, and you just saw Diego in the hallway. Vanya was downstairs last time you checked so that means…

“Klaus?” Allison says it first. Your heart is in your throat as he stands to his full height, which is a few inches taller than the last time you saw him. He has facial hair, he doesn’t look like a boy anymore. He’s really grown into himself, he’s still super skinny though. His fashion style has changed a lot since the last time you saw him. He’s almost sort of feminine now, and you’d be lying if you said he didn’t look hot as hell. His eyes light up upon seeing her, a wide smile stretched across his face. He hasn’t seen you yet, so you’re going to just sneak out. You turn and head for the door when you hear his voice.

“Y/N? That you?” You hear the happiness edging at the tone of his voice. You can’t bring yourself to turn around, you can’t look into his eyes and remember how much you’ve missed him. He’s probably still using and you can’t get sucked into his addiction again. You stay stock still, tears burning at the corner of your eyes as you see him come into your view. He uses two fingers to tilt your chin up, and when you look into his eyes- it’s all over. They’re the same hazel eyes that you remember, the same softness behind them. The tears trickle down your cheeks before you can stop them. You shove past him and out of the room just as Luther comes in, he lights up when he sees you but the look quickly falters when he sees the tears on your face. His gaze trails back to Klaus and then a look of realization finally reaches his eyes.

“You should go after her.” Ben suggests as he moves to sit on Reginald’s desk. Klaus doesn’t say anything as he empties his pockets of things he was planning to sell before Luther caught him.

“Klaus, you're like an open wound for her, fix it. I thought you loved her.” Ben snaps, and this time Klaus glares at him before storming out of the room.

“I do love her.” Klaus snaps back.

“So talk to her and stop being an idiot.” Ben says, and the anger in his eyes is unmistakable. Klaus groans, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“How about, ‘I’m sorry’?” Ben suggests sarcastically. Klaus rolls his eyes. Turning towards the railing of the stairs, Klaus spots you next to a giant window. You’re stood with your arms crossed, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to see you.

“Don’t think it’s going to be enough, but I’ll try.” Klaus says softly, looking into Ben’s eyes. Tucking the ornate box he stole from the office into his pants, Klaus makes his way towards you.

“Hey you.” Is all he says, but hearing him say those words with his voice, it’s almost too much. It sends you right back to the first time you saw Klaus overdosing, it’s what he said in the hospital room when he woke up. You push a smile onto your face through the tears.

“Hey.” You wipe away a falling tear as you turn to look at him, and you see his eye fixated on your neck. Klaus reaches up to touch the necklace, there’s a smile on his face.

“You’re wearing it.”

“I never took it off, since you gave it to me.” You admit softly. Klaus looks up to meet your eyes again, and you swear he’s wearing eyeliner. Why is that so hot? Why is him dressing sort of like a woman so damn sexy?

“So, I hate this small talk but how have you been?” Klaus asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets. You casually wipe away a few tears, pretending that neither of you know why you’re crying. Even though you both know you’re crying because of him, again. What kills you the most is that everything else about him looks different enough for you to convince yourself that it’s a different person. But his eyes are the same. The same soft, puppy like eyes and every time you look into them you see the broken look on his face when you broke up with him.

“Good. I’m good, you?” You and Klaus really did detest small talk, but when it comes to you two you need to take baby steps. Maybe you can be friends but you doubt it, either way you have to take it slow. Really slow.

“I’m great.” He says with a wide smile, you nod once before turning your gaze out the window again. There’s one question poking at your head, refusing to be ignored. So you lick your lips and slowly turn to him.

“Klaus?”

“Hm?”

“Did you have anywhere to go after I...I um-”

“After you kicked me out?” You don’t expect the words to sting so much when he says them, you don’t think he intended to say it bitterly but he did. You nod.

“No I didn’t, but I figured it out.” He says with a shrug. You feel guilty as you look back out the window, and that’s when you notice him inch closer to you.

“I’ve missed you Y/N.” He says softly, turning his body to face yours. You feel tears in your eyes again, you know what he’s doing.

“Don’t.” You say softly, but his arms reach on either side of you to grasp the railing behind you- effectively trapping you in place.

“I really missed you.” Klaus says sincerely, his lips ghosting over yours. It’s too much.

“Stop! We can’t do this again Klaus.” You gasp, shoving him away from you. Klaus’s eyebrows knit together, but you know he really isn’t surprised.

“Baby I’m different now, I won’t let you down again-”

“Really? Then what’s this?” You snap as tears drift down your face. You grasp the bracelet on his wrist, the bracelet from rehab next to the one from the emergency room. You see him shrink in on himself, knowing that he had in fact been caught.

“After all these years and you’re still using, and you overdosed again? Do you know how lucky you are to be alive? Dammit Klaus, I’m not getting pulled into this bullshit again. I can’t.” You yell, crying uncontrollably now.

“But I still love you, I’m so fucking in love with you.” Klaus pleads and you know he means it. The annoying part is that you love him too, there’s never going to be a time in your life that you’re not in love with Klaus. You shake your head, you really wished you could control your damn emotions. You turn to storm down the stairs when you feel his fingers gently close around your wrist.

“I know you love me, you wouldn’t wear that necklace if you didn’t.” Klaus says desperately, a look in his eyes you can’t quite place.

“Please Y/N, just kiss me. One more time, please.” Klaus pleads, and you close your eyes as you release a heavy breath. You grasp onto his shirt tightly before pulling his lips down to meet yours. Klaus sighs happily against your lips as his hands grasp tightly at your own shirt, pulling you as close to his body as you can get. Your lips move against each other, and you can already feel the heat rising. You moan against him when his hand slips between your legs on the outside of your jeans. You pull away from him as he presses his palm against your core.

“W-We can’t do this Klaus.” You gasp, your head tilting back as he grinds his hardening cock against you. He winds his arms around your waist, his lips finding the sweet spot just under your ear. You mewl softly, your hands grasping his shoulders tightly.

“Sure we can, you don’t want a relationship- fine. Doesn’t mean we can’t have a physical relationship.” He whispers, biting at your neck in a way that makes you feel like you’re melting. You sigh softly as his hand slides under your shirt and up your back.

“C’mon baby, let me make you feel good. Use me to get off. Please.” His filthy words send another wave of arousal through you. You look into his eyes and when you see the heat simmering in them, you know you can’t say no.

“God please make me cum Klaus.” You plead hoarsely, and his lips press against yours again. He hauls your legs around his waist as he takes a back hallway to his bedroom. He presses you against the wall outside of his bedroom, grinding his cock up against your core. His lips trail kisses from the corner of your mouth, all the way down the column of your throat. Your head tilts back and hits the wall, your entire body buzzing.

“Just please tell me, are you high right now?” You gasp, his hand toying with the button of your jeans. Klaus hums in thought.

“A little.” He admits, and it definitely bothers you, but you need to cum so damn badly that you don’t care too much. Klaus kicks the door shut behind him before dropping you onto the bed, his hands yanking your shirt over your head.

“Wait, is this my shirt?” He asks, lifting the fabric to inspect it.

“A memento, come here and kiss me.” You plead again, your bra joining his shirt not too long after. Klaus happily obliges, yanking his shirt over his head before his lips are on yours. Your hands find his scarf, which strangely looks good on him before pulling it from around his neck.

“Nice scarf.” You comment against his lips. Klaus’s tongue swiftly enters your mouth and you, honest to God whimper against his lips. No man has ever made you whimper before. Your hands reach down to unbutton his pants, and you begin to push them down his legs. Remarkably, Klaus has managed to keep the giant box tucked into his pants concealed, kicking it under the bed when you look down to help untangle the pants from his ankles. You help peel his pants off before you’re sliding onto the floor in front of him. You pump his cock in your hand a few times before you’re taking him down your throat. Klaus hisses as his head tosses back, and you have to admit that the way he looks sends heat between your legs. His arms holding himself up as his neck is exposed, his eyes squeezed shut, his chest heaving. He looks fucking beautiful. You lick a line up the underside of his cock, you still remember exactly what he likes. That’s honestly a little pathetic, but at this moment you couldn’t care less.

“Fuck baby I don’t remember you being so-” he’s cut off when you suck lightly, and he moans. “-being so good at this.”

He swallows thickly, daring himself to look down at you. The sight before him nearly makes him cum on the spot. You’re looking up at him through your lashes, there are tears in your eyes, and your mouth is stuffed full of his cock. He can see it bulging in your throat. You bob your head up and down his full length, but eventually Klaus yanks you off him by your hair.

“If you don’t stop I’m going to cum and I won’t get hard again.” He growls, pulling your lips against his. Klaus’s hands are quickly unbuttoning your jeans, his hands hooking into the waistband to push them down your legs along with your underwear.

“You’re too clothed.” He mumbles against your lips, you eagerly help him undress you. Klaus gently pushes you back against the mattress to lay underneath you, his hands pressed on either side of your head. His eyes are practically twinkling as he gazes down at you, and there’s a fond smile on his face as his fingers brush against the necklace once more.

“What?” You ask, your cheeks heating up from the look in his eyes.

“Nothing. Just...this is my happy place.” He says and you turn your head away when it starts to feel too emotional.

“This is just sex Klaus remember? We’re not getting back together.” You remind him, and you hate the crushed look in his eyes but he nods.

“Yeah, I remember.” He says softly, the head of his cock nudging at your entrance. You moan when you feel his tip sliding against your lips, and just that one sound has reignited the fire in Klaus’s eyes. He reaches down to grasp the base of his cock, watching with nearly sadistic eyes as he teases you by rubbing the head along your entrance.

“Don’t be an asshole.” You groan, your fingers curling around the sheets. Klaus leans down to press his lips against yours before he’s sliding into you in one languid thrust. Your breath catches in your throat as you wind your arms around his shoulders. You’re not as tight as Klaus was expecting, which can only mean one thing. You’ve had sex with somebody else, and deep down Klaus knows that he has no right to be upset about it. But he is, he’s really upset about it. He quickly sets a brutal pace, pinning your arms to the bed as he bites down softly on your lower lip. You wriggle one arm free so you can reach up and grasp tightly onto his neck, your fingers curled around his throat. Klaus’s eyes roll back as he continues to pump into you.

“Fuck I missed this.” Klaus groans, his other hand snaking between your bodies to toy with your clit. Klaus has slept with one other person since he was with you, but that was different. It was a man. To Klaus, sex with men is just as good as sex with women but nothing is as good as sex with you. There’s something about you that just makes his toes curl, that edges him a little higher. Maybe it’s because he’s helplessly in love with you, but who knows. Klaus knows he won’t last much longer, especially when you begin to clench around him. He missed being this close to you, feeling one with you. Feeling you. He missed it all, everything about you. He is going to get you back, Klaus has made it his goal to get clean. For you. He never wants to lose you again.

“I missed you,” You gasp, you can’t help it. You did miss him. More than you thought you would, and you thought that time would heal the wound but it didn’t. Actually, the more time that went on the more the wound seemed to open. Klaus continues to push into you roughly, the head of his cock hitting that sweet spot with every thrust. You hold his chest tightly to yours, your eyes squeezing shut when his fingers gently pinch your clit. The tidal wave breaks open then and you’re squeezing around him so tightly that it draws a strangled groan from him as you gush around him. You moan obscenely as you cum around him, your hands holding him tightly. Klaus gasps as he thrusts into you roughly before pulling out of you and instantly cumming all over your stomach.

“I needed that.” Klaus sighs happily, standing to clean your stomach off. You watch him toss the tissue in a trash can before reaching around for his clothes.

“Leaving?” You ask in disbelief, he won’t stay with you for a little bit? Klaus leans back over you before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Sorry baby, got an errand to run.” He says reaching under the bed to grab the box. Klaus slides the scarf around his neck once more, and when you see the box you know what he’s up to. He’s going to sell it for drug money. He tosses your clothes onto the bed before turning towards the door. Just before his hand tugs the door open, he turns towards you again.

“Be honest with me, do you still love me?” He asks and you bite down on your bottom lip.

“I still love you Klaus.” You admit, watching the small smile on his face.

“I love you too.” And before you know it, he’s out of the bedroom and closing the door behind him. It’s immediate that you should not have had sex with him, you should have said no but you couldn’t. Why?

Because Klaus is your addiction.

[franki-lew-yo]

The Romantic (2009, R, Gothic Fantasy/Horror), aka the most forgotten animated film in the world

What if I told you there was a movie under serious threat of becoming lost media with no clear reason as to WHY it's been lost other than no one has apparently watched it besides me and a few people on Reddit? What if I told you that movie wasn't half bad and would no doubt have some interest peeked if anyone DID know about it?

The name of that movie is The Romantic.

It was released in 2009 and it's Rated R for nudity and sex scenes [insert Robbie Rotten meme here], though none of it too graphic. It was a pet project created by animator Michael P. Heneghan, originally starting as a flash project for his animation class before he expanded it into a feature film. The film was inspired by movies such as The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, but what I see every time I look at it is a touch of Jhonen Vasquez, Tim Burton, and Roman Dirge- the guy behind Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl. It's flash animation especially remind me of the puppet-rigged toons of the 2000s (again like Salad Fingers or Lenore). It's not bad, it's just not inherently 'feature film' quality flash, nor is it exceptionally artistic like Sita Sings the Blues in it's simplicity. Like, really, if you happen to find this thing it's not the worst animated project at all it's just amateur for a professional production. I've seen worse flash movies. Heck, if The Romantic were released in separate parts on youtube or Newgrounds as a series (ala Homestuck) I'm sure it would have been really successful and totally in it's element. But it wasn't.

Because next to no one has seen it and I'm lucky to have not only ever seen it when it was available for free but have also found it recently (hush hush, I ain't telling you how) I'm going to actually give you all a plot synopsis under the cut. There will be some details I leave out and I think I've spelled some characters names wrong. It's a bit of a surrealist film as well, so you might need some things explained.

Spoilers ahead:

The Romantic is set in an autumnal, surrealist world inhabited by humans and monsters and ruled by three gods; Po the goddess of love; Pik the god of Hate; and Pjorrc the god of time though Pjorrc was made to live inside a pumpkin moon as everything he touched rabidly aged and died.

((Tapestry art featuring the main three gods of the film.))

A young man (called “Romance” or “The Romantic” by the other characters) performs a bull sacrifice in order to summon Abbledepopa, the unseen creator of the other gods and ‘storyteller’ of the world. The sacrifice does not conjure Abbledepopa but, when Romance spares a monster that was ready to eat him, the monster tells him of a profit named Patience. Patience is a foul-mouthed dwarf living alone with an army of babies who points Romance in the direction of Po.

((Romance outside of Patience's house.))

Romance wants the god’s help because he has fallen out of love with his girlfriend. Po grants him his desire and restores his love only for Romance to return home and find his girlfriend with another man. Blinded by heartache and rage, Romance kills her. He then swears vengeance on the gods for ‘making’ him do it. In the midst of this vow, a corrupt prophet called Fat Daddy kills the queen of Vauxhaul (Romance's home) and her guards, and forges a new body for his newborn son with their bodies. Fat Daddy rallies the townsfolk behind him in supposedly finding the Queen’s murder into follow a new religion called "The Poetic End".

((Romance (right) besides the monster he spared at the beginning of the movie.))

Patience accompanies Romance on his quest and tells him to take Po’s mask, which hides her true face, once he kills her. Romance buys Po’s trust by weaving her a tapestry that tells her story: in the dawn of time Po and Pjorrc were in love. However, Pjorrc gradually became distant and Po became resentful when their daughter, Love, earned Po's original title as the god of romance and love.

In the present day, Romance sleeps with Po for over a year before finally killing her and taking her mask. He and Patience return to his home of Vauxhul only to be chased out by Fat Daddy’s personal army. They flee to Marshallton, the town nearest to the god Pik.

((Romance's hometown of Vauxhul. ))

The king of Marshallton, King Crookie, tells Romance of a prophecy he, Patience, Fat Daddy and all the gods are a part of and that the world is soon to change. Romance then fights and successfully kills Pik when he shows the god of hate his reflection in a mirror King Crookie gave him, but not before losing his hand to Pik.

When Romance comes down the mountain he learns from Patience that nine years have passed since his fight with Pik began. Patience reveals to Romance what Pik saw in the mirror that allowed Romance to take the killing blow; after Love had grown up and married, Po asked Pik to tell her where her husband was always running off to. Pik reluctantly revealed Pjorrc was disguising himself as a human and married a mortal woman. Po found Pjorrc and his pregnant second wife, forcing Pjorrc to leave his human family behind, but not before asking his wife to name their son “Patience”. In retaliation for his treachery, Po proceeded to sleep with fifty men and produce the fifty bastard children in Patience’s house.

((Fat Daddy, the main villain.))

Marshallton and the entire rest of the world has fallen to the rule of Fat Daddy, who captures Romance and Patience. Fat Daddy tortures Patience into telling him how to get to Pjorrc but is unable to convince Romance to take part in his ‘new world’ or give him Po’s mask. Romance and Patience escape and leave the village to be torn apart by the fifty babies Po had, now transformed into veracious monsters after Patience didn’t feed them for the past ten years. Romance confronts Patience when he realizes the latter is Pjorrc’s son. Patience calls Romance out on his mantra of vengeance and points out that all his decisions are his own, not the gods, and instructs him to seek Love herself in Po’s basement. Patience then attempts to confront Pjorrc but is cornered and killed by Fat Daddy before he can do so.

In Po’s basement, Romance finds Love nailed to a wall, her face torn off and half eaten by her deformed husband. Love tells Romance that Po ripped off her daughter’s face in rage over Pjorrc’s infidelity and Pjorrc did not intervene fast enough. Po then threw Love into her basement, turned Love’s husband into a monster, and wore her daughter’s face as a mask - which Romance had broken into pieces moments ago after Patience had shown him his face in King Crookie’s mirror. Romance then finds Pjorrc hanging himself. As he dies, Pjorrc tells Romance to take the hand Fat Daddy had cut off and sew it onto himself, which will in turn help Romance defeat Abbledepopa.

Romance traverses the wasteland and does not find Abbledepopa, but instead a golden loom. Having seen all the destruction he and others had caused, Romance sits upon the loom and accepts his fate as the new ‘storyteller’ of the world, as he begins weaving a new one...

---

I mentioned before the animation quality of the film and why maybe that caused people to overlook it. The only other thing I could complain about on a technical level with The Romantic is it's sound design. Some of the voices and music is a little too quiet and so all these key details I had to go through the film a few times to really piece together. But that leads me to the thing I like about this movie and I'm sure others would to: the lore.

It's very hard to create a new fantasy world w it's own customs, religions, history and rules out of the blue as any YA Harry Potter/Hunger Games ripoff book could tell you. The Romantic is so unique in how it handles the pantheon and culture of these three gods and their kin; really only four or five characters throughout the entire story aren't connected to the gods or prophecy in some way, as there's the main three gods, Abbeldepappa, and the prophets Patience, Love and Fat Daddy, who make up your main cast besides Romance. There's a lot that's intentionally left unexplained and other info that must be explained, like Pjorrc and Po's marriage and Romance's feelings towards the gods, if we want to understand the former. The movie is paced pretty well and knows when to follow up on what, it's just that again some of those animation and editting shortcomings might make it hard to understand...but I don't think THAT hard. Look, if someone can enjoy Starchaser: The Legend of Orin or even better surrealist world-building films ((Fantastic Planet comes to mind)), then I say there's no reason The Romantic wouldn't have a following. There's no other way I can articulate why and what doesn't work about the story except just to recommend you watch it yourselves, but before I get into that I want to talk themes...because I love the themes and tone of The Romantic.

I revisited The Romantic a week before I made myself watch Centaurworld and The Owl House for the first time...and what a week that was~! The Romantic has the vibe of those kinds of shows along with Adventure Time and Infinity Train ((so I hear, I haven't watched the latter)). It's surreal and you'll only marvel at 'woooah wut an acid trip' for so long before you get into the vibe of the universe. It also reminded me substantially of the Broadway musical Hadestown and not just because this movie is also a self-contained, somewhat self aware fable about the relationships between humans and gods - it's very raw in how the characters talk. It's very emotional and blunt in how kind and how cruel they can be, and it doesn't make excuses or really worships any one of them. Romance himself is the world's most likable Incel: he murders a woman he thought he needed to love and blames his emotions on the gods of those passions...except the gods AREN'T the manifestations of love, time, and hate - they simply dictate and oversee it in the lives of men. It's a dynamic I really like in religious works where Gods are powerful but not all knowing or puppet masters to everyone's design- they have morality too and there is only so much you can blame and get from them.

"You made your gods into excuses and your excuses into gods!"

-Patience. This here is a cool quote. I like this quote.

No matter what, The Romantic is not gonna be a film for everyone. We all have our tastes - I think I'm drawn to it and accepting because I've come to love these kind of worlds that used to keep me up at night - these trippy 70s inspired fantasy landscapes given a whole Avatar: The Last Airbender degree of worldbuilding and character worth. It also doesn't feel exploitive in it's violence, it's sexuality, it's grimmness - it doesn't feel like it's trying to hard or going over the top because it happens to be an adult animated film, something that I love in movies like 9 or Hair High but really turns me off in stuff like Sausage Party or Wizards. Whatever go watch The Romantic...

if you can.

-----

When I first saw this film in 2016 it was actually very accessible and was even uploaded to youtube by the creator himself. I don't know WHAT happened to Michael P. Heneghan, but simply put, the man's disappeared...like...REALLY disappeared.

Lookit his IMDB. He has The Romantic and a wapping two other projects to his name. His Twitter isn't very helpful either. He last updated in early 2020 and he says next to nothing about The Romantic. It's so odd that he would one day be happy with the film enough to host it on Vimeo and Youtube but then just cop out.

According to a Reddit user: "On Valentines Day 2011, Heneghan released the film for free online through all kinds of platforms including direct download, bittorrent, Vimeo, and even directly through Archive.org. He even joked about releasing a 300 gig uncompressed version.

I know I watched it on Vimeo probably as recently as 2016. Now I can't find it anywhere. The website is dead, the Vimeo video went private, even the archive.org version has been taken down. It really looks like he wanted to wipe it off the face of the internet. His newer website mentions it, but again, the Vimeo link is dead and even that website is closed for business."

It's weeeird. What happened Michael?

And yes, obviously, other people worked on the movie.

No - I can't find out anything about them either.

I'm betting on three theories at the moment: 1) this film is an SCP or some Candle Cove weirdness with only me and a handful of people ANYWHERE remembering it, 2) something weird is going on w Michael Heneghan and it involves too something about this film. It was a scam or a scheme or a hidden agenda weirdness, 3) Heneghan's doing okay he just doesn't like this film anymore and wants it hidden while he takes a break.

Look, I get it Michael! What was once our life's worth can become cringe as you improve as an artist - you're not the person making the stuff you were ten years ago...but you should still have the film kept alive somehow. Someway.

I'm seriously the only person to have ever made fan art of this movie on the internet. That just doesn't happen, and I don't think I like being in a fandom of one. The Romantic is a testament to the power of design and storytelling > animation quality itself. Too often I see people equate good animation with smooth animation, with a budget with squash and stretch. These animations are good but art is diverse and there's so many kinds of films out there, the value of the medium can't just be in one style/form. There's a lot of honestly wonderful pieces of art out there if you know where to look and you're willing to see where it leads you.

Don't let The Romantic be the most forgotten movie of all time. Reblog this post. Show it to your friends. PM the animation community reviewer people like Saberspark and someone who isn't Saberspark and smuggle them a copy.

Keep telling the story...