#but what made him ANGRY was the weakness comment and I did not clock that before

[stromblessed]

Mizu was wrong to let Akemi be taken because they both deserve better

First, a confession. When I saw this for the first time:

I was relieved. I knew that was what Mizu was going to say and I felt like it's what I would have said in that situation too.

When Akemi does this:

I cringed, because if we know anything about Mizu, it's that she (1) isn't quick to make friends (though to be fair, even though Akemi did try to kill Mizu, so did Taigen - multiple times! - and look how that turned out lol), and (2) doesn't take orders.

So when Akemi and Ringo and later Taigen get angry at Mizu, are they being unfair?

Sure, Mizu isn't obligated to treat Akemi - or Taigen or Ringo or anybody else - nicely, or to serve them, or to be honorable, or be a hero to them, or whatever. No human being is obligated to any other human being. We all have the choice to do whatever we want to anybody else. But the point of flawed characters in storytelling is the tension between those characters and their potential. Their growth into someone who can choose the higher, harder path, who chooses to be obligated to others, who chooses kindness and compassion.

Because Mizu's problem isn't revenge. Nobody is preaching at Mizu that revenge isn't the answer. Her circumstances do suck, her life has been incredibly unfair, she is marginalized, and as far as we and Mizu know for most of the season, she is a child born of violence and no one is saying that that violence doesn't deserve to be repaid in kind.

Mizu's problem is isolation. And the fact that she thinks she has no responsibility toward her fellow human beings, because her hatred of her own circumstances and her having no life outside of her quest devours everything else. This is a problem because it turns Mizu into the worst version of herself. A version that hurts the people who like Mizu, the people who care about her.

Practically, Mizu has just taken on an entire army almost by herself. She's hurt. She's exhausted. If she were to defend Akemi now, it'd be yet ANOTHER fight, this time against horsed and armored samurai.

But that's not the reason Mizu gives Ringo. Mizu's ability or willingness to fight isn't even on her mind. All she says is, "She's better off."

"She's better off" is Mizu deciding what's best for Akemi. Akemi's entire story is about her being a caged bird longing to fly free.

One after the other, every man and woman in Akemi's life makes her decisions for her. She has to grovel and smile prettily and lie through her teeth just for the chance to be heard. Mizu judges Akemi for being a rich princess who isn't being more grateful for what she has, all without understanding Akemi's situation, and without any curiosity for why Akemi feels the way she does. From Akemi's perspective, Mizu is just one more person (one more man!) in a long lineup who ignores Akemi's wishes and (casually!) makes a decision for her that impacts Akemi's life greatly.

In the end, even Seki concludes that Akemi should get to decide what's best for Akemi. What others think that Akemi SHOULD want does not matter compared to what Akemi wants for her own life. As Madame Kaji said - Madame Kaji, who despite calling out the weirdness of Akemi's situation as well as the childishness of her decision to run away - is the only person Akemi meets who doesn't try to make decisions for Akemi, but instead only challenges Akemi to work for and be worthy of what she wants - she needs to decide what she wants for her own fucking self, and then take it.

Mizu being born female does not make her automatically wiser for letting Akemi be taken, and it does not preclude her from having a hand in giving Akemi back to her jailers. A patriarchy that Mizu knows full well would stop Mizu from achieving her own goals if she didn't present as male.

Mizu is still understandable here. She just had to kill Kinuyo, a disabled girl sold by her father into prostitution, a girl in a situation so far beyond Akemi's worst imaginings that I can practically feel Mizu's world being rocked just by comparing them in her mind the way she most likely is. That still doesn't make it right for Mizu to let Akemi be carried off to be sold into marriage by her father against her wishes. Those "good options" Mizu thinks Akemi has don't exist, no more than they ever existed for Mizu. Akemi and Mizu both have to get creative, make the best of their circumstances, take dangerous risks, and break rules in order to have any control over their own lives.

Even on my first watch, when at first I thought that Mizu had made the right decision and that Akemi was being unreasonable, Akemi screaming Mizu's name while being dragged, LITERALLY DRAGGED, back to her father was haunting as hell.

Mizu had the power to help Akemi, and simply chose not to.

Mizu lets Akemi be taken, Akemi who has just begun to trust Mizu. Mizu calls Ringo weak and quickly - seemingly easily - turns her back on him. Mizu values her quest over Taigen's life, after Taigen has endured days of torture to protect her, and she not only risks his life in the process, but doesn't tell him that Akemi is engaged to someone else, or that she came looking for Taigen, or that she is in danger.

Mizu's sword breaks because it is too brittle. Too pure. Too singleminded. Mizu only melts down the meteorite metal when she mixes the metal with objects from parts of her life that have nothing to do with her quest. Objects from the people she cares about, and who care about her.

All I'm saying is - Mizu doesn't have to be a hero. But she is the better version of herself when she reaches out to help and connect with others. When she's just a decent, kinder human being. And I think that's what this story is telling us that we should want for Mizu.

[jjwantsme]

trouble is my middle name

j.m

pairing: jj maybank x girlfriend!pogue!reader

summary: in which y/n decides to leave her boyfriend alone for just a few minutes, and it results in nothing but chaos.

warnings: psychical fighting, an angry but HOT jj, bestfriend!sarah, cussing, mentions of sex, fem reader, let me know if i missed anything!

authors note: jj is so boyfriend for this. you’re welcome

masterlist

“Dude,” JJ laughed, an arm tight around y/n’s waist as he laughed at something pope said, “you’re so full of shit!”

“No, i’m not! What makes you think I can’t do a backflip?” Pope argued back as he rested his forearms on his knees.

“Uh, you were on the math team?!” The blondie laughed in the other boys face, getting distracted when he felt his girlfriend move away from his arm.

He was always like this at parties, always keeping an arm around her or a hand holding hers.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her when she wasn’t around him, of course he trusted her- more than he’s ever trusted anyone before.

He just knew that there were weird people out there, perverted people. And he didn’t want his honey to become a victim to their perverted ways.

“Hey, babe, where you going?” JJ quickly asked y/n before she could get too far. “Oh! I was gonna go hang out with sarah, she texted me and told me to meet her in the bathroom. Is that okay?” She smiled up at him with her sweet eyes, wrapping one of her hands around his.

JJ returned the sweet smile, “of course, baby.”

He leaned in to give her a lingering goodbye kiss, y/n humming lightly into it when she could taste the beer on his lips.

She giggled as she pulled away, “on second thought , maybe i shouldn’t leave you alone. You’ve obviously had too much to drink…”

JJ immediately scoffed, “Pft, I’m fine. Go have fun, pretty girl.”

Y/n grinned and gave him one last peck on his red lips, before walking towards where she knew sarah would be.

JJ smiled as he watched her go, just admiring his little angel. He still couldn’t believe she let him start dating her.

In his mind, y/n was 𝗯𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 out of his league.

She was too pretty, too smart. He was sure she would be valedictorian by the end of the school year- she was the most intelligent person he’d ever met, outdoing pope by miles.

It’s not like JJ was an insecure person, he was definitely over confident. Before he fell for y/n, people described him as a player, being able to kill with his looks.

He just knew a good thing when he got it, and y/n was one of those things.

His state of admiration was cut short when he heard a whistle from behind him, one that he hoped wasn’t towards his girlfriend.

“Damn, look at that ass!”

JJ’s face became red with rage, steam practically coming out of his ears as he turned around.

“Oh, shit.” Pope mumbled, preparing to call y/n back as he knew a fight was about to happen.

Typical party with JJ.

JJ grabbed the ignorant kook by the collar of his shirt, gripping it tight, “What the fuck did you just say about my girlfriend?!”

“Chill, man, i was just saying, it’s a nice-“

He didn’t even get to finish his crude sentence before JJ clocked him right in the face.

Meanwhile, y/n stood in the bathroom doing sarah’s hair, still oblivious to the perverted comment that was previously made towards her.

“Hey, do you hear that? Sounds like a fight…” sarah spoke as she heard commotion from the other side of the door, making y/n pause her movements.

Oh, fuck.

“Goddamn it, J,” y/n mumbled before heading out already knowing the fight would somehow involve her drunk boyfriend.

And she was right, immediately seeing her boyfriend getting separated from some random kook as he spit out blood from his mouth.

For a mere second, as John B and pope held him back, he caught her eye and smiled at her; making her weak in the knees, despite the fact she was mad at his aggressive mannerisms.

“2 minutes,” y/n spoke sternly as she wiped off blood from JJ’s chin with a makeup wipe, “I left you alone for 2 minutes, JJ!”

JJ probably shouldn’t admit this, but man, did it turn him on to see his girlfriend get all feisty on him like this.

“Look, baby, I’m sorry, okay?” JJ sighed, “But i don’t regret what i did! He was being a total jackass.”

“I don’t care what he did, JJ, violence isn’t-“

“He talked about you! In a…weird way. Like, about your body.”

“Oh.” Y/n’s eyes softened as she bit her lip, “you got into a fight over me?”

JJ scoffed, “Damn right, and I’ll do it again!”

Now, y/n probably shouldn’t admit 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀, but knowing her boyfriend gave someone a bloody nose for her, was definitely turning her on.

She didn’t need to admit it, though, instead she just kissed him, making him wrap his arms around her waist.

Boy, were they in for a long night.

[songchan]

destined by a contract | l.jn. (t)

— pairing: lee jeno x fem!reader

[ft. lee donghyuck and na jaemin]

— genre: arranged marriage au, rivals to lovers, past academic rivals, slow burn, angst, fluff, a bit of unrequited love.

— warning: suggestive, cursing, drinking away all sorrows, more warnings in the full fic.

— wc (t): 718

— summary: a dying father's wish pushed you down to the well of dating life, which made you enter into a new wonderland of a contract marriage with someone that has a long-running rivalry with you.

— notes: wow. hello there, uhhh it's been a while since I've been here and idk what to say or do anything rn. But, this fic idea churned in my head after watching a business proposal and I remembered that I used to write, surprisingly. So, I hope I can fully finish this within a short duration and, honestly, great to be back, missed this place a ton!!

Comment/send an ask to be added to the taglist!!

"This screams desperation."

Your eyes were exposed, filled with plead and desperation despite your face trying to hide it. 

Yes, this was the best solution. 

You are just re-affirming the statement again and again, convincing this is right. You then close your eyes, just wanting his amused gaze to be gone from your vision. This tops the list of the most embarrassing things that ever occurred in your life, even higher than the time you asked a lady her due date when she was not even pregnant. Your intertwined hands grew tighter as the clock ticked by, just wanting a response from him. 

"Did anyone else get this request or was I just the perfect candidate for you?" He spoke. This whole scenario suddenly hits you with a feeling of deja vu. He spoke the exact words when you always wanted to pair with him during any project work. 

There was always the same intention whenever this happened— wanting to be closer to him. 

Well not in the usual way but in the way that friends should be kept close, but your enemies closer. You were interested in how he dealt with academics, was he calm and collected, an extreme genius that he didn't even need to study and just read the material two days before an exam or was he the frustrated and angry kid, forcing himself to get everything right along the way or anything else? 

A laugh escaped from your lips which responded to a confused-looking man in front of you. You finally opened your eyes and your hands felt light again as the air passed through. 

It was always the same response, every time he asked. "Don't flatter yourself Lee Jeno, you remind me of myself, if I just made the worst choices." His expression shifts as he moves closer to you, and a smirk emerges from his lips. You feel his hands just inches away from yours. "Considering what just happened five minutes ago, do you think that statement of yours still applies?" 

His eyes stared into yours, you felt him looking at you with concentration, maybe wanting to get a read of what you were feeling currently. And to be honest, you didn't know if this was the best choice, or was it the best one and your pride seemed to hinder the actual statistics. But you always were known to look before you leap. Despite your emotions hating every nerve you took to decide upon this, logically this ticked all your mental points. You didn't dare show any hint of reluctance upon your decision, you never wanted to give a chance that he may ever win, everything always went to your plan and not even something as life-changing as this would fuck up any of the plans you made for it.

"I look before I leap you know, and considering this seems to be a churning well of hell, if jumping right into it is the best decision, I would absolutely do that and still make myself be on top." You looked at him, confident with your own words. His eyes still linger around, wanting to see any weak point he can hit but with no avail he pulls himself back to his former stance. 

"The immediate switch you have always surprised me when we both were students and safe to say, it still does." You bore no expression, even if this information was unexpected from him. You see his secretary walking slowly towards the table. Jeno stood up from his chair, giving a nod to the older male beside him. "I'll think about it. But considering our history, I'm sure you already know what that means." And with his business smile as a sign of goodbye, he made his way towards whatever business he had to attend to.

You knew exactly what he meant, he started to plan out something, which meant he already agreed upon it. You swished the cold drink with your straw as you pondered upon your thoughts. 

You always ignored that certain emotion whenever you were with him. Was it the feeling of excitement, or entertainment? Whatever it was, you didn't realise your soul was craving it more than you would like to acknowledge it.

[sl-newsie]

Query: Q x 00 Agent- Ch. 6: Houseguest

The sound of a door opening jolts me awake. The clock shows 9:45, so Q must have just got out of work.

“Bloody Hell! Did you break into my apartment?” The geek shouts from behind me.

“Good evening, Q.” I try to turn my head to see him better. He’s wearing a different shirt, no doubt having sweated through the other one due to all the stress at work. “Eve gave me the entry code. Not breaking in at all. Nice cats, by the way.”

All 3 cats have settled next to me on the couch with lazy expressions. Q ignores my comment and walks over to stand in front of me. I can see he’s been working hard today from the dark circles under his eyes, making me wonder how Bond’s doing.

“Eve gave you the code to my apartment? She failed to mention you were coming. What happened?”

“When I got home I found out my apartment had been broken into, so Eve told me to come here. You have no idea how glad I am that you’ve got a real security system.” Q’s bewildered expression changes to one of concern as he walks over to sit next to me. “I’d have made dinner but didn't mean to pry into your kitchen. Your sense of style is certainly unique. Clean, but more colorful than I expected.”

Q stares at the floor. “You didn’t file a report. You went back out in broad daylight with nothing but a cat and a loaded pistol. Do you realize how dangerous that is?” 

Is he serious? My life has been compromised to terrorists and he’s lecturing about protocol?

“Far be it from me to disappoint you, Quartermaster,” I respond cockily. “I am still alive.”

“Barely. That kind of recklessness can get you killed.”

He stands up, walks to the kitchen, and pulls out tupperware containers from the fridge. Oh no, this conversation is not over!

“I call it being creative. I’m a mess of nerves anyway, mine as well act on it.”

Q sticks the food in the microwave. “You should be used to nerves by now, 0011. As you like to say, ‘it comes with the job.’”

He talks about this as if it’s everyday news. 00 agents are supposed to have a short lifespan, and this espionage business keeps threatening to shorten my life even more.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. “It doesn’t help when every gangster or idiot with a gun is out for my head.” The pressing thought pounds in my head and begins to tear apart the mask keeping my fear hidden. “My name could be on that list too.”

My Quartermaster doesn’t answer. The continuous ringing of the microwave is the only sound. He’s not going to care. If he felt having friends was weak then he’ll surely laugh at my pathetic nerves-

Now Q walks back over and sits down again. Great, another lecture- “You think I don’t know that?”

His tone is the thing that sticks out most. It’s softer, almost vulnerable. “You seem to dislike me so much, I thought you’d be welcoming of the idea of me getting snuffed out.”

This triggers an unexpected reaction from Q. I feel a large, warm hand cover my tiny one. When I look up, Q’s set his jaw straight and is looking me straight in the eye.

“I’d never let anyone hurt you.”

Q isn’t one for emotion, so he must be joking. “Why? So you can keep seeing me get beaten to a pulp, only to be stitched back up for you to laugh at my weakness?”

His eyes widen by a fraction. “You really believe that? I don’t think you’re weak, 0011. You’re one of the best agents I’ve ever worked with.”

I can’t keep quiet anymore! “This is why I think you’re delusional to friendship, Q. All you do is talk about work. And that’s alright, but don’t expect people to like you when you keep such a cold demeanor.”

Now Q’s getting angry too. I guess we never know when to quit arguing. “I focus on work because it’s what I’m best at! What else am I supposed to talk about?”

I frantically gesture to his apartment. “Look around! You have so many hobbies and talents, any one of them would be amazing topics to talk about!”

“Oh, now look who’s delusional! You actually think I’m talented-” Q retorts sarcastically.

“I do, you stupid Quartermaster! You’re one of the most brilliant men I’ve ever met! If I wasn’t stuck on this couch I’d storm out right now.”

As a response Q walks around and grabs my shoulders as a way to pin me to the couch. “You’re not going out there when your cover’s been blown. Since you’re already here, you can sleep on the couch.”

I try to protest but Q walks back to the kitchen and brings over the leftovers from the microwave. He hands me a bowl of chicken and rice, and as I take a bite my taste buds sing with approval and melt away my anger.

“This is delicious! You are a man of many talents, Q.”

He takes a bite himself. “Thank you, praise towards my cooking is always appreciated. I would cook something fresh but as you know work’s been a hassle.” 

I look at him as if he just grew wings. “Q, the workplace has been the equivalent of a dumpster fire. You look like you’re about to pass out.” I lift myself into my wheelchair, grab the empty bowls, and head to the kitchen sink. 

“Ah, 0011, what do you think you’re doing?”

I start rinsing the dishes. “Doing cleanup so you can sleep.”

“But-”

“No ifs ands or buts. If the MI6 Quartermaster isn’t fit for duty then we all suffer.” I point to the stairs. “Shower. Bed. Now.”

Q, still flabbergasted, slowly walks over to the bottom of the staircase. “Are you ordering me around in my own home?”

“I’m highly suggestive as a concerned houseguest.” I finish drying the bowls and wheel past Q to reposition myself on the couch. “Now for the last time, go to sleep!”

The nerd hesitantly complies, slowly climbing the stairs. I think I hear him mutter “So bossy” before he reaches the top and I can’t help but smile. Q should be allowed to take a break, even if he is annoying at times. Can’t blame him, though. This whole week’s been tough on everybody. After about 20 minutes he reappears in flannel pajama pants and a sleep shirt which makes him, quite frankly, outright adorable. I won’t sugarcoat it. His floppy hair is wet and unkempt, adding to an appearance that almost makes him unrecognizable from the man I see at work. Q gets a glass of water, mutters a quick “goodnight,” and then quickly retreats up the stairs again. I must have lost a large amount of blood to be this incoherent. 

Eventually Cricket comes down to lay next to me, and as I drift off more thoughts fly through my head. Are Bond and M safe? The fear of being assassinated may be unnerving but the idea of attending Bond’s funeral is even more alarming.

[mercyisms]

Niche Nona liveblogging: Day Three - Five

And we continue my copious and niche note-taking and very predictable reactions. Previous and future installations can be found here. Spoilers for up to page 282 in the hardcover or up until Day Five. Also very, deeply cool to reblog or reply or come yell in my askbox. Whatever you please.

Puppy love “just made you want to open the puppy’s lips and play with the puppy’s teeth.” God. Some of these observations are simply too good.   Pouring several out at “You’d never act like you were married to me” and “Landmine people” (at first sight!?) and “I mean, also redheads. Love a redhead.” Pyrrha Dve I am still free on Monday, on Tuesday, on Wednesday and my hair is very technically red. I’ll work on the Molotov cocktail personality. We have clocked Nona’s skin being described as an egg carton (brown ones, I assume? Not grey) and Corona having “skin like amber.” We are very much paying attention to these descriptions. “Crown Him with Many Crowns Thy Full Galant Legions He Found It in Him to Forgive” – I don’t have Wake’s full name handy right now, but we are noting the gender happening in “Crown Him” but also that hymn is pared with what I am seeing is an excerpt from the Côte d'Ivoire national anthem (Thy Full Galant Legions) plus a song by Dominion Road called Mutiny Within. Mutiny Within, well! That seems very apt for Coronabeth. But with the play off of Dominion Road, we have three name-parts that all evoke sovereignty. Fitting + perhaps this will idk be mobilized in some way in the text. (Also compare “He Found it in Him to Forgive” with John’s professed “There can be no forgiveness.” Possibly a useful ideological difference to map?) Noting the portrait of Wake (Pyrrrhaaaa) but also the plastic flowers, which is very logical but a bit different from Blood of Eden’s previous associations with more organic substances. Then again, war zone commanders can’t, we suspect, be choosers. (Though, of course, they were never entirely organic! Just thinking, thinking.) “Let us move on from playing games with how clever and how old you are. I am not impressed, and they annoy my colleague.” + “Yes. Good. The intel, I mean, not anybody’s romantic history, which I abhor.” I do not abhor We Suffer and We Suffer. In fact, I love her, and also while she would loathe it, there is a little slight waft of Mercymorn energy. I’ll say, I will. An itch, you see, of “mean lady” is being scratched. “When Nona was angry her cheeks went red and her voice got squeaky.” Terrifying implications for whoever’s body she’s in. Also Nona’s relative smallness to Coronabeth/Crown --> that’s a point in Harrow box, to be sure. “There were bones inlaid in the sides like fossils in a dried out riverbed…” Aesthetics of environmental collapse + frankly, the ship just sounds sexy (152). Great design. “Assume the worst, ignore the best… Do not catastrophe.” Wake content, we love to see it. Oh, also, of course the No Hopers comment is fascinating, though the extent of my knowledge on the historic/Christian adjacent “No Hopers” is Emily Dickinson. So. I’m noting it, but I’m likely not someone to take it up. Source Joyeuse and Source Piotra AND Source Aegis AND Source Chrysaor !! God I love all of these BACKSTABBING DEMI-GODS. Joyeuse and Aegis seem very straightforward as far as code names. I am totally unsure what to do with Augustine as Source Piotra?? Why? Is it to do with St. Peter and can someone explain that to me? Not sure why Cytherea’s been given the name of a dude who sprouted from Medusa’s fallen head / Pegasus’s… sibling? Y? But I love any mention of that beautiful, beloved, evil girl and it is very dramatic. I’m sure she’d like that. (How much say did the Lyctors have in their code names and did Mercymorn insist on absolute near-literality? If so, Mercymorn, your self-preservation game is so weak. I love you.) “Lyctors take the very flooring from beneath our feet. We cannot see them coming. We can never stop them. When they arrive the clock starts, and another home is taken away from us… our children stateless, our grandchildren perpetual nomads.” Love an insight into Lyctors-in-combat. Fascinating. Devastating. The worst part of me was dying to see some of those old fuckers fight, I must admit (156). “The Eighth was killed by something we don’t understand.” WHEN are we going to talk about the stoma and the teeth and WHATEVER happen to Colum?? What ate him??? My true, teethy love. It's necessary to talk about Chapter 13 all together, so the fact that Nona and only Nona hears the Captain (sensitive, immensely, to Varun/RB7?) say: “Dust of my dust…what shape they made you fill—we see you still—we seek you still…you misused green thing—come back to us—take vengeance for us” – I mean, this has to be RB sweet talk from one Resurrection Beast to another and I am deeply interested in listening to the planets talk and not in an astrology way. But also we are bookmarking “the Captain didn’t say anything when you came into the room. She only screamed.” & Nona’s capacity to understand the scream as language, and potentially screams as planetary (post-trauma? post-destruction?) language. IF all is as I assume, that’s a fascinating thread to pull on later. “Camilla was gone and then we met Harrowhark, and she came back” devastating, btw. “Love that melodrama. Is there Eighth somewhere in your family tree?” Please. Please. Show me the Eighth. Show me what Mercymorn and a nun (????) wrought and also, I am certain, abandoned. Show me this million-fold cult. “That meant Nona was only being ordinarily selfish, not dangerously selfish.” I love you, Nona. “You’re scared of Pyrrha, and you do think she’s nice-looking, but you’re confused when you think that so you don’t look at her very much. You want Camilla to cuddle you but not in a—a sexy way. I think you want Camilla to look at you like you look at me. And you’re in love with th—” [e Captain, surely.] Yum. Desperate to know, though, Coronabeth’s intel on The Saint of Duty & Gideon/Pyrrha’s inter-empire reputation per “I’ve heard too much of the Saint of Duty to trust Pyrrha Dve.” “That’s why I should ask you what I look like, and ask my sister what I’m feeling… You’ll always tell me I look beautiful and she’ll always tell me what I want her to think.” Equally invested in the Tridentarii situation but especially the implication that Corona believes she can deceive Ianthe (175). “He never liked losing control… he could not be coaxed to sleep unless she stood in the doorway, or in the worst times stroking her thumb between his eyebrows, down the bridge of his nose.” A very ‘I am paying deep attention to the John/Alecto (??)’ vibes to you too (188). “M-- had brought her best friend, the nun” The stadium getting to their feet, chanting Cristabel! Cristabel! Cristabel! And I am the stadium, entire. Also of course the very neat “And then A—brought in his little brother who was a hedge fund manager. A—Junior was useless but he was a darling, I couldn’t fault A—for adding him into the mix.” Because of course Cristabel and Alfred are introduced together, as A—and M—were. We have completed a set that is very dear and darling to me. (Mildly losing it over Cristabel and Alfred being less named and rendered, instead, in the possessive in relation to A—and M—. I’m crawling the walls over it a little, actually.) Although, I will say, they are the detail throwing me most for a loop right now. I have to recalculate all of my assumptions about Cristabel and Alfred. Cristabel? Wildly competent and brisk and a nun?? Applying to and arguing with the Vatican? Insisting John keep office hours and learn practical lessons from Christ? I am listening. I am fascinated. I’m tearfully rolling up my weeaboo Cristabel headcanons and getting ready to replace them with new and equally dazzling colours. (Okay, but what if she has Neon Genesis Evangelion energy?? Did Madoka not die for our sins??? Here’s how weeaboo Cristabel can still win, etc.) Likewise, Alfred being Augustine’s younger brother and not older or a twin is the last thing I expected. Even more so than hedge fund manager. (God, what a family. I am imagining it now.) I really thought Augustine specifying he was a few inches taller than Alfred but clearly wearing heels was a secret little hint that they might be twins but Augustine had a warped and inflated ego. This, this is good too. “A—and M—were making black jokes about taking volunteers from the crowd for the skeleton army,” They future-hate each other. They can’t stop working together. They have the same sense of humour. They ruined my life. “I can’t believe nobody’s ever going to laugh at my jokes again… It’s all gone, I’m the only one left. It’s just me and you and no more jokes.” (193) Genuine pathos here, for me. This is truly John characterized at his most #millenial, this chapter. But ALSO cf. some of the early things I’ve pulled out around Nona and Nona/Alecto’s atonement to loneliness vs. the profound loneliness and isolation of John. And now: terrible occupation politics. Good. “Prince Ianthe Naberius the First, the Lyctor Prince, the Saint of Awe” + “Crown Prince Kiriona Gaia, heir to the First House, the Emperor’s only daughter” + “Tower Princes” – we note, of course, the Gender and this move to, with the end of the emperor’s lyctors, tower princes. Ianthe and Gideon being prices is very interesting to me. We also note that Cytherea’s naming convention (disliked by Augustine and Mercymorn, all too apt for G1deon) has been adopted by Ianthe, which is… fascinating. Also, John renaming Gideon with an Indigenous name and the pivot back? to Indigeneity in the empire – fascinating, rich stuff. Also I was today years old when I realized Gaius was maybe not a play on like “just some guy” or any of the characters from Tacitus et al. but potentially the masculine of Gaia as in Earth. God!!! “Pretending you can bandage bipeds” I cannot remember where I learned the fact that a vet is more ideal in an apocalypse situation than a doctor, but it’s in my brain and you can have it now too. (You want someone with more diverse than specialized knowledge, is the thought process.) (Again, I cannot remember where I learned this, so who knows if it’s valuable. I would also very much take a doctor in a doomsday situation, personally.) Which reminds me: this book is really making me wish I had a more useful degree to ingratiate myself to our future undead leader. And also it is, again, patently unfair that John is a science guy and that well-read. It’s not the unkillable thing that’s OP to me. It’s that he can quote Poe and do math. Smh. “Chance to be her, huh? A little independent living for once?” “It is my enormous privilege to be they.” I am very EYES EMOJI at whatever is happening with Angel but also with their gender more broadly. (215) I feel like I have not commented on how much I love all of Nona’s school friends, but I really do & think they are deployed ingeniously, I do. Perhaps we can discuss it later, but I fear I have more Old People adjacent things to transcribe. Sorry to teenagers everywhere. “[John] was scared of that—he was always scared of the water” (219). We are both fascinated by the scope of John’s powers but also comparing this to Nona’s (Alecto’s??) love of salt water… (CAN John swim? Asking for a friend.) “’Don’t follow me, I’m mad.’ … She wondered again why anything that hurt them only hurt briefly, but that anger took such a long time to go away.” (220) I’m. “When M—had been all, I will not accept those numbers, I will not accept a plan that incorporates reproductive injustice…” We stan a girlboss and a feminist. Also “I couldn’t follow, but A—could” – god, love an awful man who, again, can do mental quadratics. “M—freaked out…. And A—agreed with her, which was how you knew it was really, really bad.” 😊 Also if you knew how prominently generational ships had featured in my life this past year… And, like, that one forgotten Canadian generational ship show, where I think one wing of the ship is just Amish..? It sure is an idea. “They left you. They left you….  She said, ‘I don’t remember.’ He said, ‘I cannot forget.’” I mean, look, God being the only person (I assume, based on Mercymorn and Augustine having this gap in their memory as well) who can remember the death of the planet, and at the hand of trillionaires and ineffectual governments… and neither being able to forget or let go or forgive… and becoming that himself… It’s compelling stuff, I think. I think. (It’s very [redacted] of him. I need to run this take by someone before I post it outright, so, sorry, just noting it here so I remember.) “Another plastic echo of buttons. The same voice answers, but not the same person. The conversation that followed was filled with weird pauses, as though they were actors in a play who couldn’t quite get their cues right.” (229) Take this whole recorded conversation and pull my heart out through my eyeballs. Also adding it to latent thoughts abt sixth house epistolary forms. “Love and freedom don’t coexist, Warden.” A lot about love in this book, and all books, and this line… We are highlight it for later. (230)  (“I am your end.” As in, I will destroy you? As in, I am where you reach your limits? Or I am your limits, your boundaries? Every way you cut it: good. A fun twist on ye olde oath.) “[Pyrrha] was teaching Nona how to dance.” Someone write that fic, too. Someone (Tamsyn) confirm or deny the number of terrible dad moves Pyrrha has or if she exactly dances or what. We note that Lemuria is a fake and sunken city. (239) “Edenites go through people like water… His dads are baggage.” (250) We remain interested in this third ‘civilian’ pov, but also belatedly noting that the increased proliferations of languages, genders, and family formations really does show you have regimented and controlled House life (or elite House life anyway, as we can only really speak for the upper-class representatives) is. It is smart and, again, revealing. “Time exited her body.” (255) re: depictions of violence, death, and John’s potential abilities. Also just very effective writing. “It was A—‘s little brother who said, Well you have to understand money is one big shared hallucination…” Obsessed with Alfred being a hedge fund guy who makes these caveats. I am listening, I am learning, I am adjusting my perception of Alfred Quinque. And also someone, apparently, semi to totally fluent in crypto. Incroyable. “M-- and A—were a united front, and that was scary as fuck. It was always frightening when they stood together.” We have been taking too many shots re: every time John points out A + M acting as a united pair!!! This feeds me. This truly does. “A—and M—looked at it, and looked at me, and they said, Do it.”  + “And that’s when A—and M—stepped in to negotiate.” “They were hitting the table like in a police drama, like, We can end this whenever we want! The ball’s in our court!... I was like Wow, sorry guys, I don’t really know either of these two, they’re very unexpected and mean. I came here to have a good time and I think they’re being very harsh.” This alone could nourish me for weeks, but also Mercymorn/Augustine horrible TV serial AU when. Also deeply revealing for how John has always positioned himself, really. Characterization! We love it! His hands and his fingers and his gestures and his angry, way harsh fists. (274) “Nona… let out a long, bellowing scream, one that went on for ever and ever… and she was screaming blood as well as sound.” (276) Noting for scream-as-language purposes. Good. Good. Good. Good. God, this is so well structured. Inhuman how Tamsyn can say so much and plot so tightly and it’s all so fast as well. 300ish pages just whizzing by. The Acts are strong, etc. You know the drill, more from me here.

[snailsandpuppy-dogtails]

5 Day Ficlit Countdown

Day 5!  It's tonight it's tonight it's tonight! 😄 WC: 1,806 Mama Said Saturday morning. She laid in bed, sheets tangling more and more with every restless flip. Her pillow was lumpy and flat, her mattress, dull fists sucker punching and pushing at her. But she couldn't get up. Didn't want to get up. All she wanted to do was sleep the day away. If she could ignore it, it would be like it never happened, a bad dream. She could sleep it into the void. But sleep wouldn't come, sheet restraints rough and unwelcoming. This bed was awful. This bed was lonely. With a dejected glare to the clock, she untwined herself. No use. Penelope got up and showered, pushing the fragments of an overheard conversation from her mind. It wasn't meant for her ears anyway, it was a private conversation between Matt and Luke. Squeezing bodywash on to a poof she tried to think of anything else; what to eat, what to wear, what to do today.

Flipping through her closet only made her mad, everything leading back to him, all of her cute and low cut a reminder of comments he'd made and looks that he'd given. With a frustrated flick she settled for some leggings and a cardigan. Despite her efforts, breakfast found her in tears. Hot angry drops rolled down her cheeks blurring the hashbrowns in front of her. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. Not at him, though part of her wondered why he hadn't really put up a fight, but he'd done nothing wrong. He only did what she asked. She was mad at herself. He was one of the best people she'd ever met. Loyal, loving, beautiful, and kind. And she was terrified. Terrified of his love. Terrified of living without it. She threw the potatoes away, gulping down hot black tea. Ragged sobs slowed, the tears subsided. A moment of weakness. Self pity. That's all it was. With a flop she landed in the soft velvet puff of her armchair and opened up her laptop. Coding. Coding would distract her. With Sergio curled up around her head, she lost herself in creating better platforms and safer networks most of the day, tv playing in the background. Or at least she tried to...every hour she'd pick up her phone, flipping the screen to face her, finger hovering... desperately wanting to text, him to call him, to hear his voice and picture his face bright and smiling. But she didn't like his smile the last time they talked. Rueful, sad. Her finger would curl, phone going back down. She wouldn't text him. She needed to leave him alone. It wasn't fair. By nightfall her thoughts had become all consuming, no amount of warm purring cat, soothing tea, or string of code could keep the inevitable off her mind. That he had a date. She was probably beautiful. I mean, of course she was, it was Luke, beautiful women flocked to him. And she was probably super nice and smart and just...amazing. He had a knack for finding women like that. And he'd take her out and eat and they'd talk and laugh and they'd dance and then he'd get dessert for them and tell her how she was the sweetest part of his night all stupid and cheesy and...

She threw her phone to the plush white shag carpet and face planted on her bed, fists balling the comforter. Stupid fucking Newbie. Her body slid to the ground with a groan. Finding her phone, Penelope gave in. It was late, but it wouldn't be too late. God, she was such a jerk.

His phone chimed, Luke, presenting shirts to Roxy, tossed them on the bed next to her and checked the text. Penelope: Don't do it.

Penelope. Of course he'd get a text from her right now. He'd been thinking about her all day, thinking about his date, how half hearted this whole situation was. He hadn't told her about it, but she knew everything...she probably knew, the group was small and gossip traveled fast. Newbie: Do what?

Her heart clenched. Don't make this harder. Though she probably deserved it. Deserved worse. Penelope: I heard you and Matt the other day...Don't go out with her.

Luke sighed. It wasn't a secret, he just didn't think she needed to hear it from him. He wasn't really looking forward to the date, if he was being honest. It was a "get back out there" kind of thing, something he needed to do to help get her off his mind. She was nice, she was, categorically, hot, she was clever...but she wasn't who he wanted. Who he wanted had told him... it didn't matter what she'd told him, because this text said otherwise. Newbie: Why not?

She was full of nerves, blood pulsing cold through her. Why was this so hard with him? Penelope: You know why.

He huffed out a bitter laugh, but his chest fluttered with warmth. Hope. Newbie: Penelope, I'm gonna need you to tell me Penelope: Come over. He glanced at his watch, He could do that, there was still time. And if this was...nothing, he could still go out. Opting for his sweater instead, he gave Roxy a kiss and left for Penelope's, wallet and keys tucked into his pocket. It was twenty minutes to her place from his, the longest twenty minutes she'd experienced up to this point. She paced wondering if she'd made a mistake. If he was mad. How could she explain herself? It'd been three weeks. And now, when he was trying to move on she claws him back in? She shouldn't be doing it. It was wrong, unfair...They each needed time. The knock made her jump and she nearly tripped springing to reach the door. She winced at the sight of him. He was wearing her favorite sweater, the one that pulled across his chest and hugged his biceps and set off the bit of silver in his curls, looking all handsome and put-together while she stood there in leggings. Upon entering, Luke hugged her briefly, tentatively. Not long enough...not tight enough. She let go, opening her eyes meeting his, then darting away, the counter, the floor, anywhere but those dark pools. "So...." he prompted, stuffing his hands in his pockets and rocking slightly. This was so awkward. He was obviously irritated. But she couldn't do it. It wouldn't come out. "Sooooo do you want something to drink?" That was a safe place to start, right? "Penelope-" his voice was flat. Ok, he wanted to get straight to it. Taking a deep breath, she fluttered away, insistent, mumbling "I need something to drink..." Oh no. Not this. They were not avoiding it. Not after he all but ditched a perfectly lovely person to come here. He stepped after her, "Penelope! If you have nothing to say, then..." his eyebrows were raised and his mouth was a small line. A picture of expectant displeasure. An expression that read 'what's the point?' He wasn't really going to leave...he wanted to. Wanted to be able to...She was the one who wanted to explore other options, she wanted to break up. Him seeing other people was obviously going to be a part of that. He loved her, wanted her, but he wasn't going to wait around forever single until she decided she wanted him too. He'd done enough of that already. She spun around, hand catching the curve of his jacket. If she couldn't do it she needed to let him go, but that's not why she texted him. "No. Ok. Fine. Luke...I don't want you to see other people." She looked up at him, tears threatening to spill over. There was a storm tumbling inside her. How could she be so cruel? How could she be certain it was safe with him? That she was safe with him? Her lip trembled looking up into eyes soft and loving. Luke took hold of her hand, wrapping it in both of his, fingertips soothing wrist, gaze unbroken. His voice as gentle as his touch, "Yeah, I kinda got that. But, Chica, you were the one who wanted this... Did that change? You know I'm not going to push you, but you know it's not fair..." Penelope ripped her hand from his carding it through her hair, taking a step back. "I KNOW! OK I know! And...And I don't want you to see anyone." She looked back up, hands again gripping his jacket, holding on to a safe bit of him, her confession finally slipping out lightly, "I don't want to see anyone. I just want...I just want you, Luke...but it's hard trusting...it's hard getting used to..." He'd reached for her elbows, holding her there, grounding her in this moment with him, eyes rooting her to the floor.

“To what?” he asked. Was he too clingy? Had he moved too fast? They could live in different houses for the rest of their lives for all he cared, so long as she was his. They could work out a solution...

It was too much, he was too much. His eyes, the intensity that she saw there. The permanency. She'd been loved before, cared for, but never like this. She looked down to her hands pulling and playing with the zipper edges, smoothing them “Being someone that someone else cares for...usually, that's my job. But then you came in all big and tough and brave and caring and...and...saving Reid, and saving JJ, and” her voice grew small, "and helping Elizabeth...and me. Your love is so big, and so deep," she sobbed a laugh, "Stop it. Stop smiling. That's not an euphemism...I feel...I feel like I need a life raft just being near you." He chuckled, relieved, arms moving to enshroud her. Penelope shoved at him, emotions boiling and bubbling and bursting out of her, seeking a physical release. She shoved and shoved and shoved until his heels hit the wall, Luke laughing and moving backward until he couldn't. His hands grabbed hers, but they flew from his grip, tangling in his hair, mouths colliding with force, leg slipping up, hooking, bringing him impossibly closer. Her lips moved to his jaw, and he huffed out his own confession between panted breath and stinging kisses "Penelope-, I've always- cared for you."

They were devouring one another, starving and feasting, he lifted her up and turned, her back slamming against the wall. She cried out but he swallowed the sound with a forceful kiss. Penelope bucked her hips grinding into him. Pulling back, he let go looking at her, dazed, "I'll always care for you. Penelope, I love you." Slowly, he let her slip back to the floor, bodies entwined, light kisses scattering across her neck and ear. Breath catching, and body sinking, she held his head to her, petting and clawing, sighing at his lips behind her ear, "I think you should cancel that date now."

This is it! The final day before CME! Maya, @penelopeminded asked for "Don't go on that date." "Why?" "You know why." "Say it." and “It’s hard to get used to...” “what is?” “Being someone that someone cares for...” with a little angst, so I hope I pulled it off satisfactorily!  😊 This was fun! Thank you to everyone who shared asks/ prompt requests, without you it would have been boring  💞

[parallel-selfs]

Playful Land (Chapter 3)

Translation by Ekala and Gasumasuku Gamer

She's still uneasy about this whole park.

Grim jumps into the seat just for Ace to tell him to sit in Alice's lap. The boy pouts as he moves off the seat and climbs on her lap. She couldn't help but chuckle while helping him up.

"Maybe this time I will actually get to play, Ortho," says smugly.

"Yeah, the whole thing was beautiful. You have to see it."

"Chicken, cherry pie, makes me kinda hungry."

"Scientists don't even know beside his stomach being a black hole," dramatic smug response.

(Aww, he jumping)

"Um, I rather rest after walking around the park all day." She's not getting on that stage.

She enjoyed their performance and pats Grim's head for being cute.

"Did you use magic on them?" Protective mode activated.

Victor and Levi get defensive.

Alice calls BS on that considering she caught Ferro looking at her with narrowed eyes.

Grim, just because he looks weak doesn't mean he is weak.

Superior?

Grim... Kalim, you're not helping.

Her phone is full with pictures and has a backpack purse of souvenirs.

"I think you should continue to be suspicious." The boys tell her to relax and nothing bad has happened. "Yet. Please, keep your guard up until we're inside the school."

"No, you already miss a day of school, you're not going back here, Grim."

As they walk and search, she's getting more and more anxious, wanting to leave immediately before something bad happens.

The eerie quiet finally gets to her. "Can we please leave? This is starting to be a horror movie."

Levi agrees, stating he has a bad feeling.

Shit, we're locked in.

And we can't call for help. What do we do now?

Pauses in surprise at Jade and Lee attacking the locks.

"I'm staying out of this."

"What, what's going on?"

"Guys, something is clearly wrong."

"What?" She's starting to feel sick.

The distrust and anger she feels at just seeing Ferro.

"What do you mean it's too late?" Venom is pouring from her.

At hearing the words "wooden dolls," Alice clocks him hard in the jaw. He falls to the floor and sees her glaring down at him, eyes burning like a thousand suns. A wooden mask is fitted to her face, but she doesn't care. Despite how weak she's getting she's still standing, clearly struggling evidenced by her shaking legs.

The boys call out her name while Ferro stands up, rubbing his jaw and admitting he admires her strength to keep herself up. He asks who will join her. She immediately tells the boys to get out, find a way to cure this. They start to protest but she yells "Now!"

(Called it)

(You can make so jokes from the announcement alone.)

"But you saw what happened to Kate when she just punched him!" -Kalim

(Dude, you should be locked up for your whole life. No amount of a tragic backstory you have, you're getting nothing from me.)

("The R cards have been completely taken out!")

("What is a bad thing?" Oh honey)

("Get me pictures of Spiderman!" Sorry, the phonecall made me think of that)

(Unless the rich person is Kalim.)

"Really, guys? After everything they been through, you have no hope for them?"

"Are you fucking serious? There's other ways to earn money instead doing something like this. You're pathetic."

Ferro burns in angry at the comment, yelling at her that she doesn't understand what it's like to fight for every cent. She gets to live comfortably in that prestigious school and doesn't have to worry about money issues.

"Don't give me that bullshit! I had to live in an abandoned dorm that was ready kill me at every given second! I had to give every scrap of money to Grim so he could live more comfortably than me! I had to do every frustrating demand the headmage made to not have our food expenses cut off! That school gave me nothing but trauma!"

Ferro glares while Gidel looks surprised.

"I already dropped out, this is bullshit."

[deleteddewewted]

Hello! How are you, and I have a request if you wish to do it. So I was thinking of a College AU with Shinsou working there as a part-time employee, then one day fem! reader comes in and at first he is like “Pfft whatever” but then he brings dropping his tsunade behavior and beings growing soft for her while he got to know her and he has seen her rescue a kitten in which he asked to help co-parent their child. He is doing it to get to know her more because he fell for her, but she is a bit oblivious when it comes to ✨feelings✨. I thought this would make a cute HC/ Drabble, however you wish to do it, of how their relationship began to bloom at the local coffee shop.

AAAAHHHH!!!! YES!

Happy Birthday to Shinsou Hitoshi!💜

The most adorable, handsome, and overall best purple headed boy on the show (Fuck off Mineta).

To Take Care of a Stray: Shinsou Headcanons

Barista! Shinsou x F! Reader

FLUFF

As any college student would tell you, cheap caffeinated drinks were a must.

Coffee specifically was a must.

Shinsou was honestly debating if he needed his 3rd cup of coffee that morning or if he could just wing it and go on with an empty tank.

He procrastinated when it came to his assigned project, plus his project partner ditched him, so he was practically all alone figuring his shit out.

And thats how he found himself working at his local coffee shop.

He hated every single customer that would come in at any hour of the day that he work on.

They all demanded his attention and honestly, some days he wished he could just scream in their faces that "No, i don't give a fuck about your pet bird speaking back to you. I'm only here to make you your coffee and take your money."

The cheap coffee was worth it though, so he keeps the complaining to a minimum.

Retail is honestly a "no reward" type of job. The amount of entitlement that some people have baffles him at times.

Around his second year in college he ends up working the late shift to make some extra cash. It also meant less people coming in and demanding an overly complicated drink. Score!

The sound of the rain pouring down helped calm his nerves and allowed him to relax for moment before the door of the shop swung open.

"Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to do that." The first time you walked into the shop you accidentally pulled the door with too much force that it ended up slamming into the wall.

Shinsou immediately didn't like you.

Who the fuck was this woman?

You went up the counter and told him your order taking out your money and handing it to him.

Clean and simple. Nothing special.

Then you came back again a few days later. That really fucked with him.

Most customers came in and never bothered to talk to him. He wanted their money while they wanted the shitty coffee they sold. Easy, right?

Nope, not with you apparently. You came in and asked about his day, how his studies were going, and if anything interesting happened in the shop.

He would respond with brief answers and immediately ignored you afterwards.

You were just so annoying.

..Ok, maybe not.

You were funny, the way you fumbled and played it off as you being intentional.

The way your mouth would widen into a smile anytime he spoke back to you.

You weren't overly energetic, nor overly happy. You were just nice, nice to him.

He wasn't use to that.

You fascinated him just because you existed and he wanted to learn more about you.

He got his chance on the 5th time you came in.

You usually came in at a specific time, always when there was barely any customers, but today you didnt' show up at all.

He wont admit it but he got concerned and would keep looking at the clock on the wall and back to the door of the coffee shop.

When you finally came in, you had scratches on your hand and on your cheek.

"What the fuck happened to you?" He leaned onto his hand that was placed on the counter top. His body relaxed and only showed boredom.

In reality he was terrified, you had scratches on your hands and red streaks too. Why?

"Oh, i was just- i fell into a bush." You gave him a smile that made his heart flutter and legs go weak.

He was so happy he was leaning on the counter because he hadn't he would have fallen onto the floor.

Your smile just had that affect on him.

"How stupid can you be? Look were your going next time."

"Aww, thanks sir!"

Good mood was gone. He told you not to treat him like your friend, thats not what you both are.

...But he really hated that you took that very literally and didn't bother to at least call him by his last name.

"Hmm." He gave you your usual and answered the questions you had for him that day.

You started to come in 4 times a week and every time you did he would notice new scratches on you.

The scratches weren't that bad, he thought maybe you were one those "adventures" types, but the red marks were concerning him.

When he would ask you about them you always had a different excuse for them.

"My backpacks straps are bit rough."

"I placed my arm wrong on the table"

It was this or that but never a concrete answer.

It was happening every time you came in so something had to be wrong.

He gathered up the little cuarage he had and decided to ask you what you were doing.

"Why do have so many scratches on you?" You werent expecting him to be so blunt but you happily told him to meet you after his shift at the nearby alleyway.

He was suspicious of you but he was also curious, he desperately needed answers because the concern for your wellbeing was getting to be too much for him.

He followed your instructions and walked towards the alleyway you directed him to.

When he turned the corner he saw the most beautiful scene in the world.

You were surrounded by cats...and you were giving them food.

He could die happily then and there.

"W- this is why you show us with scratches all over you!?" You nodded but got up and walked over to a cardboard box that was tucked under a bigger box.

You told him to follow and when he crouched down to see what was in it he saw two huge eyes staring back at him.

"You've been- this little thing is the reason for your scratches?"

"Yep!"

He laughed at you and helped you feed all of the cats.

When the two of you finished up, you picked up the box that the small kitten was tucked in and gave it a pat on the head.

"What are you going to do with the kitten?" Shinsou asked you.

"Well, i wish i could take it with me but i don't think i'd be able to take care of it since i work early in the morning and have classes late at night."

Shinsou's mind started planning.

He really liked you and wanted to be around you more often.

Shit, if he was brutally honest he had a crush on you.

"Well, i have classes early morning while i work at night. So...why don't we co-pa-... i mean co-care for the little guy?" He knows his ears were red, he knows his face was starting to turn red as well.

But he wasn't about to admit that he really wanted you to say "yes".

"Uh, ok. Sure!"

Shinsou was over the moon with this and it was all going so perfectly as well.

The kitten would spend the mornings with you and in the afternoons the two of you would meet up to take care of it together.

You both decided to name the kitten Mieko.

""Beautiful blessing child", thats a cute name! Why do you want to call him that?"

"Because...i want to- y-you idiot. Stop asking so many questions!" You just laughed at him and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Shinsou melts.

Shinsou would bring the kitten with him to work since his boss had a soft spot for animals.

Imagine how exited he was when you first invited him into your own apartment.

"You have your own place? Color me impressed."

"Thanks Shin." Shinsou blushed a little at the nickname. It had been over a month that you both agreed to take care of the kitten together.

The more time he spent with you the more he fell.

"I hope you like the umm...book." This was another thing that started after the two of you began to co-parent the kitten. He would bring you gifts and act like it meant nothing.

Reality is that he was courting you.

He expected you to make a comment on his gifts but you glossed over them like nothing.

It was getting on his nerves.

"Aah, hey. Do you want to take Mieko out for a walk...again."

"Was that a question or a demand?" You laughed at him

You made it look easy with how much you make him blush.

The more time you both spent with each other, the more Shinsou realized he was truly in love with you and wanted you to be by his side.

But he was facing a problem. You.

You wouldn't pick up on the hints he was dropping on you. His interest on you.

So one day he decides to just tell up upfront if you would like to go on a date with him.

"Hey Shin, do you want to go on a date with me?"

Shinsou. exe has stopped operations

"W-wha-"

"I'm joking buddy! But seriously do you want to go out to eat? I think Mieko would-"

"W-WHaT!? F-fuck no!" That upset you because you thought he might like free lunch.

"You could've just said no." He was losing you, again.

Fuuuuuuuck!!!!!

"N-no wait! What i wanted to say was umm, would you like to go out with me? Like a date! N-not like friends."

You both just stared at each other for a moment, the silence only making the situation worse.

"...Sure."

Mieko, your child, just blinked at the two of you.

"These two ridiculous humans are my parents, great." At least this lead to Shinsou moving in with you and Mieko having a permanent home now.

Double the pats for the two new people in your home, double the purring sounds, double the angry and grouchy cats begging for your attention.

Who wold trade this? You got to cuddle with the two most adorable people in this world.

"I'm not fucking adorable Y/n!"

"Shush Toshi or you're not getting cuddles and kisses."

"....fine."

[kay-diggle]

The Promise Ring

Summary: Some promises are broken, some promises remain intact, and new promises are made.

Pairing: Jungkook x Female Reader

Genre & Rating: Angst, Smut, Hint of Fluff, 18+

Warnings: oral (m. recieving), somewhat dom!jungkook (he’s actually a big softie) sub!reader, hairpulling, mentions of jealousy, overstimulation, vaginal intercourse, unprotected sex (pls pls pls stay safe guys!)

Length: 4.2k

Notes: I apologize that the first fic I post in months is so terrible (it highkey feels like it’s all over the place but that’s okay!) If you somehow enjoy this... please let me know! I’m still kinda in hiatus bc of school btw :( {Requests are closed}

Kay-Diggle’s Ultimate Masterlist

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Before 

“It’s so pretty out here tonight,” you commented on the beautiful scenery in front of you. You were laid across your boyfriend’s lap while he leaned back, both taking in the view. 

 For your four year anniversary, Jungkook took you out to a clearing that overlooks the city. You had a late night picnic, eating your favorite foods while sharing some of your favorite memories from the past four years you’ve been together. 

“Yea… but you’re prettier.” 

“Ugh, corrrnnyyyy,” you whined despite feeling yourself begin to blush. 

“Yea, but you love it,” he placed a sweet kiss on your forehead. “And I think this is the perfect time to give you your anniversary gift babe!” 

“No! I definitely told you I did not want a gift this year.” 

“Well that is definitely too bad because I got you one anyways,” he countered, playful as ever. 

He sat up, reaching into the pocket of his jeans. It was hard to see since it was dark outside, but when you clearly saw the velvet black box, you felt a rush of all different types of emotions exploding within you. Upon seeing your shocked face, he stupidly grinned before opening the box, confirming your suspicions about what was inside. 

“Jungkook….” your jaw dropped as you looked at the most beautiful diamond ring you had ever seen. 

“Y/n,” his hand found yours, “I love you so much baby. These past four years have been…. just, so amazing that it’s kind of hard to put into words, ya know? But the one thing I can tell you for sure is that we were meant to be together. You were literally made for me -- my handcrafted destiny. And I promise you that will never change. I promise that I will never stop loving you, I’ll never hurt you. I promise you that I will never break your heart.” 

Nothing could stop the way tears pooled into your eyes at his heartfelt words. You were speechless, only being able to mouth the words ‘I love you’ while Jungkook began laughing at you while wiping away your tears.  

“I know what you’re thinking but it’s not that, so don’t freak out! It’s a promise ring,” he took your left hand, placing said ring on your finger. 

You couldn’t even focus on his words, you just wanted to hug him. And so you did. As soon as he slipped the ring on your finger, you were wrapping him in your arms and tackling him to the ground, crying while laughing at the same time while he laughed with you. 

“Did you even hear me just now?” he chuckled. 

“Yes, not a proposal, but a promise ring,” you nodded. 

“Okay. Just keep in mind I will ask you to marry me one day,” he smirked. 

"And I, Y/n, promise you, Jungkook, that when that day does come, I'll say yes. If you would've asked me tonight I would have said yes with no hesitation." 

“Well then, I can’t wait for that day, hm?” 

“Yeah, me neither.” 

And that night, the two of you made love outside, underneath the stars. 

Now 

When you walked into the room you felt your stomach drop. Seeing your ex-boyfriend’s face months after the worst break up you’ve ever had instead of his best friend who you were planning to meet up with was not what you were expecting when you opened the door. 

“You’re not Namjoon,” a deep frown set on your face. 

“I know. I asked him to get you here. Y/n, please… just hear me out.” 

“No Jungkook,” you shook your head. “I believe you said enough the last time we saw each other, yea?” 

You turned, placing your hand on the doorknob and turning it. Before you could fully open it, you felt a force push it back closed with Jungkook’s strong presence behind you, his hand pressed against the door above your head.

“Y/n. Stay.” 

He whispered it in your ear and although he said it in a commanding voice, his voice was strained almost as if he was begging. You stood completely still for a moment, your heart and mind battling against each other even though you already knew their fight was pointless. In the end, your heart always made you cave. 

You turned to face him, realizing that you were completely trapped between him and the door, you quickly became uncomfortable. Fuck your stupid heart for not being able to resisit the man who broke it. 

“What do you want?” 

“I miss you.” 

You scoffed at that. 

“Well that’s something you could have communicated over the phone rather than creating this whole elaborate plan with Namjoon and getting him to lure me all the way to this hotel.” 

“You realize that you blocked me… on everything, right? I can’t communicate anything to you,” he rolled his eyes. 

“Yes, I realize that. And I did that for a reason. What part of ‘I never want to hear from you or see you again’ did you not understand from when we broke up?” 

“Oh I understood that shit perfectly and I still think it’s fucking bogus.” 

“Yea of fucking course you would. You know that was always your problem. You never see things from my point of view.” 

“Oh and what point of view would that be? Starting arguments over nothing because you’re bored to the point where we had to actually BREAK UP?” 

“Bored Jungkook? Really? I assure you that if I was really bored I would’ve found better ways of occupying my time than arguing with your ass over the same shit.” 

“Oh get real Y/n.” 

“No, you get real!! Your head is so far up your fucking ass that eight months later you still can’t see what you did wrong.” 

“There’s nothing to see! I didn’t do anything!!” 

“Jungkook I fucking told you on multiple occasions that I didn’t appreciate you entertaining that girl when she flirted with you! You know, the one who was only supposed to be a close FRIEND?!?” 

“Jesus Christ y/n, you act as if I FUCKED her. I didn’t even flirt back!” he stepped back from you, crossing his arms under his chest. 

“IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER! Do you understand how it made me feel?? How she would whisper with her friends, talk shit about OUR relationship and I just had to sit back and listen. OH but the ONE time I get drunk and flirt with Taehyung in a moment of weakness, suddenly I was the villain. Suddenly I destroyed our relationship and was all types of whores and sluts. Honestly Jungkook, you can go to hell.” 

“You flirted with my BEST FRIEND y/n.. Basically offered to suck his dick. I’m sorry, was I not supposed to get angry?” 

“No but I definitely wasn’t expecting you to disrespect me by calling me out of my name Jungkook!”

“I APOLOGIZED! I apologized as soon as I realized what I said. And I’ll apologize again if that’s what it’ll take to-” 

“No you don’t have to do shit. I’m leaving. I can’t believe I even stayed this long. Ugh, this is my problem. I’m always too nice to people who don’t deserve my kindness,” your words came out venomous. 

Jungkook bared his teeth, visibly upset before he walked towards you, forcing your body back into the wall. 

“No your problem was you never wanted to fucking talk. It was ALWAYS arguing with you. EVEN NOW! I invited you here to have a conversation and look at what you started!” 

“No YOU started it!” you poked your finger into his chest. “You knew exactly what would happen if we saw each other again which is exactly why you got me here under false pretenses. This is all your fault,” you screamed. “Everything. Was. Your. Fault.” you poked his chest with each word. 

Jungkook grabbed the finger you kept poking him with and it made you audibly gasp. He stared down at you with a look that came across as angry but having been in this position with him before, you could also notice a slight hint of lust in his eyes. 

He let go of your finger before gently pushing his palm into your chest, making your back hit the door and grabbing your wrists, holding them against the door. 

“Listen. To. Me,” he spoke slowly. “I am not putting up with your attitude tonight so stop.” 

“Make me.” 

It was like clock work, the way the two simple words you uttered set him off. He let go of one of your wrists to wrap his hand around your neck, choking you lightly and bent down to whisper in your breath. 

“Stop fucking playing with me Y/N. You already know what happens when you do that shit.” 

“Hmm… well it has been eight months. Maybe you need to refresh my memory?” you challenged. 

Jungkook grunted out of frustration before tightening his grip on your throat and kissing you. The kiss was rushed and furious, much different than the ones you’ve shared with him in the past. No matter how upset he was with you, his lips were always gentle on your skin, but this was completely different. He forced his tongue into your mouth and bit on your lips so hard you were worried he would draw blood. 

His other hand let go of your wrist, trailing it up your thigh to squeezing your waist and ultimately groping your ass while giving your lips a break to attack the sweet spots on your neck instead. 

“Fuck….” you moaned out when his hand began squeezing your breasts, brushing against your hard nipples. 

“You like when I play with your tits?” 

“Nope,” you spit out. “You’re barely doing anything for me right now.” 

“Hmm well you wanna know what I like? When you can’t talk. How about we shut you up.” 

He shrugged off his jacket, placing it on the floor before pushing you to your knees. Having been in this position before, you reacted automatically, rubbing his length through his pants a little. You unbuckled his belt and undid his pants before pulling them and his boxers down just enough to reveal his semi hard dick. After finally seeing it again after months, it would be a lie to say you didn’t miss it. 

“Suck. Now.” 

At his command, you looked up at him while wrapping your hand around his base, letting spit drip from your mouth onto him to make him wet. You moved your hand up and down his length a bit before finally taking him into your mouth, You let your tongue run on the underside of his dick from base to tip before wrapping your lips around his tip and lightly sucking, just like you knew he liked. You looked up at him, covering your teeth with your lips and taking his length further in your throat. One of his hands found purchase in your hair, guiding you up and down his length while his other was spread against the door as if using it to hold himself up. You felt him twitch in your mouth before there was a knock at the door. 

“Jungkook? Y/n? I just came to make sure you guys didn’t kill each other in here,” Namjoon joked wearily. 

“Yup! All good,” came Jungkook’s hasty response when he felt you take in his length completely, deepthroating him. 

“I see you’re acting out for Namjoon,” he whispered looking down at your teasing face before using your hair to push you further down and hold you there. 

After a few seconds he let you up, coughing up spit while gasping for air loud enough that Namjoon could hear. 

“Jungkook what was that? Where’s y/n?” 

“She’s here. She’s fine. We’re working it out. Bye Namjoon!” Jungkook made you go back to sucking his cock after letting you get a few breaths. 

“Maybe I should come in and mediate….” Namjoon contemplated, completely unaware of what was happening on the other side of the room. 

“Unless you want to see her choking on my dick, maybe now is not the best time Namjoon,” Jungkook was starting to get annoyed. 

“Oh… in that case.. I’ll just get going I guess…. Glad to hear you two are.. Working it out?” Both you and Jungkook could hear Namjoon taking off in the opposite direction of the room. It made you giggle a little bit, vibrating against Jungkook’s cock. Nearly cumming down your throat at the feeling, he slapped his hand against the door before using your hair to pull your mouth off of him. 

His hand wrapped around your arm, pulling your body back into a standing position before capturing your lips in a heated kiss again. 

“Fucking Namjoon….” Jungkook trailed off, his hands now exploring your body again. “And why the fuck were you coming to see Namjoon dressed like this?” He asked, referring to the tiny black dress you were wearing that barely covered your ass. 

You replied with the most petty thing you could think of. “I don’t know. Maybe it was so that I could finally fuck one of your best friends, like I was accused of doing.” 

Jungkook gritted his teeth, yet again visibly annoyed with you. “And how should I fuck you fuck, hm? Should I fuck you against the door? Make you scream my name? Make sure everyone in this hotel knows how much you’ve fucking missed me?” 

His fingers traveled under your dress and pulled your soaked panties to the side, easily slipping a finger into you and then adding another beginning to fuck you

“Ah, shit!” 

“Answer the question.” 

“Fuck! Yes, fuck me wherever you like” 

At that, he quickly ripped your underwear off your body and pulled your dress off, wanting as much access to your bare skin as possible. He pulled the rest of his pants off as you tugged his shirt off and threw it across the room. 

He pushed you completely against the door and raised one of your legs to wrap around his waist. Taking his length in his hand, he slapped it against your clit a few times, smirking at you as you whimpered at the feeling. He rubbed his length against your wet folds until you couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Jungkook,” you were annoyed. 

“Yes?” He looked at you with a sly smile on his face. 

“Just put it in!” 

“Beg me first.” 

“You’re so goddamn irritating.” 

“Now Y/n, is that any way to talk to someone who can give you what you so desperately need?” His condescending tone of voice only worked to aggravate you further, but you not wanting to waste anymore time, you gave in. 

“Please Jungkook! Please fuck me. I can’t wait anymore, it’s been too long. Please i-  I need you!” 

He pressed your waist further into the door before finally sliding inside of you. 

“I don’t want to hear anything out of your mouth that isn’t you begging or my name,” he whispered in your ear as he began to fuck you, his movements made easier by your wetness. “No talking back.” Hard Thrust. “No smart ass comments.” Hard thrust. “Nothing.”

When he began pounding into you, you lost your footing, almost slipping. With a grunt, Jungkook grabbed both of your thighs, hoisting you up against the door and trapping you under his body. With this new position, he spread your legs further, now being able to go deeper within you. When you felt his tip repeatedly nudge the spongy spot within you, you let out your loudest sound yet, a combination of Jungkook’s name and a moan. He apparently thought it was too loud because he covered your mouth with the palm. 

“Be quiet” he whispered in your ear harshly. 

You wrapped your hand around his wrist, moving his palm so that you could speak. “‘I’m sorry, it’s just so good, ugh fuck.” 

“Yea, bubby? Did you miss me fucking this tight pussy? Missed me pounding into you just the way you like?” 

The cute pet name he used to call you when you were in a relationship completely flew over your head. The only thing you could focus on was the way his cock felt sliding against your walls, throbbing inside of you. 

“God, please! Please make me cum.” 

“You wanna cum? You missed cumming all over my cock right?” 

“Fuck yes! God,” you cried out when he went harder, your body banging into the door with every thrust. 

Jungkook was too busy holding your body up so he could fuck you properly, so you one of the hands that was gripping his shoulders down to your throbbing clit, rubbing it so that you could bring yourself to your end. Jungkook’s eyes traveled down to where your fingers were working, biting his lip at the sight. 

“Mmhmm, yes bubby. Rub that little pretty clit of yours. Are you gonna make yourself cum, hmm? Be a good girl for once and make yourself cum for me?”

“Yes.. yes, I’m gonna cum so hard Jungkook, just for you! Ahhh, fucckkkk” You were spewing so many words in your moment of bliss that you couldn’t even recall what you were saying.Your legs trembled while your hands wrapped around Jungkook’s wrist as he fucked you through your high. Your entire body felt overwhelmed as you came, especially when Jungkook kissed you while you were still shaking all over his dick, making it even harder for you to breathe. 

Disconnecting your lips so you could both catch a breath, jungkook asked “You came so hard, can you take more?” 

“Yes. Please, I need more.” Jungkook could see in your eyes how fucked out you were. The look you gave him had his cock throbbing so hard that he felt he could cum in that exact moment. 

He carried your limp body to the bed on the other side of the room, placing you down on the edge and instructing you to move up towards the headboard, holding back a laugh as he watched you struggle to crawl with your worn out legs. 

He joined you on the bed, sitting on his knees between your spread legs, touching himself at the sight of your post-orgasm face and glistening wetness. Watching him bite his lip and touch himself while looking you dead in the eye had your worn out pussy whimpering for him again, demanding more, and you couldn’t wait. You wrapped your legs around his waist, prompting him to hover over you, hands right beside your head to hold himself up. 

“Do you want it?” 

You quickly nodded your head. 

“Words, bubby.” 

“Yes Jungkook.” 

And then you both watched as he slid his length back inside of your cavern. Compared to his fast and rough thrust earlier, these were slower and more calculated. He was grinding into you in a way where you could feel his pelvis brush against your clit every time he moved deeper into you. You cried out to him again from the overstimulation. 

“You okay y/n?” he questioned, not stopping his movements. 

“Yea, just sensitive. Please don’t stop,” you begged, 

“I promise I won’t. I don’t ever want to stop….” 

You couldn’t focus on his words while he moved inside you. All you could do is let the moans roll out of your mouth that hung wide open. And all Jungkook could do was watch, thinking about how much he missed this. How much he missed you. 

He lowered his body so that he was basically laying on top of you, one hand gripping your waist while the other gripped the sheet next to your head. He rolled his hips into you at a faster pace and you couldn’t help but fling your arms around him, holding on tight. He dropped his forehead to yours and you finally looked at him, really looked at him without the lust clouding your eyes. You were still able to read him the same way you always could. You finally noticed the drop in his earlier dominant persona and how he became softer with the way he touched you. 

You felt his love radiating through you. He was making love to you. 

“Fuck y/n, I’ve missed you so much.” 

“Jungkook … please, please don’t. Please just fuck me,” you begged. You couldn’t do this. You weren’t ready to face your feelings. 

“I can’t just fuck you. I want more. I want you.” Both of his hands found their way to yours, locking your fingers together while looking each other in the eye. “I only want you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I love you, bubby. I’ve never stopped… ugh, I promised I never would.”

His sudden confession made all of the emotions you thought you had locked away for the past eight months come back. You were crying. You were sobbing under the guise of pleasure.. It was all too bittersweet. Jungkook was simultaneously making your body feel good but your heart feel so sad. 

You couldn’t speak. You didn’t have the words. You just clamped your walls around him, pushing you both towards your climaxes. He squeezed your hands when he felt his balls tighten and cock throb, kissing you and groaning against your mouth as he came inside of you. He left open mouthed kisses on your face and down your body. This time, it was his fingers on your clit that brought you to your second end, all while whispering sweet, meaningful words in your ear about how beautiful you were and how much he misses you. It made your orgasm more intense, your feelings overriding your senses as you spasmed around his now soft cock inside of you. 

When he finally pulled out, he kissed you deeply for only a second, hugging your body closer to his and wiping your tears away as you both tried to catch your breath yet again. When the stickiness of your lower body began to feel as heavy as your heart and to Jungkook’s dismay, you got out of the bed and went into the bathroom, taking some time to clean up and silently sob into your hand before splashing water onto your tear stained cheek. You weren’t prepared for what would happen when you walked out the door and faced your ex lover again, but you knew you couldn’t avoid it either. 

Exiting the bathroom you saw Jungkook already dressed and  you scanned the room for your clothing which was mostly by the door. Jungkook silently watched as you dressed yourself and when he saw the look on your face when you turned around, he shot out of the bed and rushed towards you. 

“Marry me.” 

Your jaw dropped. “Jungkook…. What? Are you insane?!?” 

When he brought his hand into your line of sight, you recognized the item you threw at his chest eight months ago as you packed your bags and prepared to leave him. The cursed promise ring. 

“Do you remember when I gave this to you? I promised you that one day I would ask you to marry me. Well today is that day…... Do you remember what you promised me?” 

“Jungkook… “ 

“What did you promise me y/n?” he was desperate.

“I promised- I promised that I would say yes when you asked,” you mumbled, eyesight being blocked by fresh tears. 

“Well I’m asking,” he got down on one knee. “Y/n, will you marry me?” 

“This isn’t fair,” you sobbed. “I said that when we were still together. Things have changed Jungkook.” 

“Oh really? What’s changed y/n? We haven’t been together for a few months, but who cares. The only thing that matters is that our feelings haven’t been affected by our time apart. And they never will be. We’re always going to be in love. I promised you that.” 

Jungkook was crying himself at this point, and it broke you. Your head and heart were once again at war, but that didn’t matter. Nothing else could matter to you when the love of your life was on one knee in front of you, professing his undying love for you and asking you to spend the rest of your life with him. Your heart and your mind ultimately knew that he was right. Your feelings for him never changed, and they never would. There was no point trying to fight it. And yea he might have broken a promise or two, but he was making good on them now, and that was all that mattered. 

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, before mumbling out a small “Yes.” 

When you opened your eyes, your new fiancé looked dumbfounded with the brightest smile you had ever seen on him. He cried out in joy before coming off his knee, lifting you up in his arms and twirling you around before trapping your face in his hands and kissing you as if his life depended on it. You couldn’t help but laugh as you wiped both his and your own tears away. 

“Was this your whole plan? To propose to me tonight?” 

“It was,” he grinned. “Now that I know what my life is like without you in it, I’m never letting you go again. And that’s a promise.” 

[coexiising]

west coast - anakin skywalker

SUMMARY ◆ you and anakin have just never gotten along and there seemed to be no way to get you guys to cooperate. hate sex basically. 

WARNING(S) ◆ smut, degradation, some bad names, rough sex, but there’s consent because consent is sexy, cursing,  choking, unprotected sex, fingering, anakin skywalker is a tease and a bitch, witty banter,  i pretend to understand the force and probably make up my own rules, unedited

WORDS ◆ 3.6k

»»————-　✼　————-««

THE EVENING LIGHT OF THE SUN SPILLED INTO THE LARGE HALL OF THE JEDI TEMPLE, BLANKETING EVERYTHING INSIDE WITH A SHEER COAT OF GOLDEN RAYS. coruscant was always so beautiful in the evenings, the way that the cars sped past each building with a low hum and the rush of traffic. it was a sound that you have grown to welcome these days, especially because it had been many years since you’ve lived here. the capital was beautiful, bustling with life and opportunities. 

your elbow was on the table, palm pressed against your cheek as you leaned against it lazily, poking at the food on your plate with a fork in your other hand. obi-wan was mouthing off in front of you, not that you were really listening anyways. you were too focused on trying to stay awake listening to this mission that he was assigned to bring both you and anakin on in a weeks time. though his speech was pretty much worthless since the other padawan was no where to be found. neither of you had seen him for a couple hours. 

oh well, you thought to yourself. it’s not like you missed him anyways. besides, he was probably with padme or getting in trouble somewhere like he was always doing. 

anakin and you . . . well, it was a complicated relationship. you had been assigned to work with master obi-wan after your master died on a freak accident, and ever since then, you were forced to work with anakin skywalker. you two didn’t get along, you never did. you were even surprised that obi-wan put up with it, but he wanted to train both of you. to say that you missed your life before you had to talk to anakin every day would be the understatement of the year, you longed for the days where you didn’t have to be in the same room as him and watch as everyone fawned over the chosen one. god, even your thoughts were going to make you throw up. it was better to bask in this non-anakin-ness the most you could before he came waltzing into the hall. 

unfortunately, right as you stopped thinking about him, anakin walked into the hall towards the food and would most likely make his way over and sit at your shared table with your master. you felt a groan go past your lips and looked down at your food, stabbing your starfruit and popping it into your mouth. 

a chuckle came from obi-wan in front of you. “you can at least act like you like him you know, might be easier to deal with it that way.” you shrugged, shaking your head and looking up to face your master. “I mean, saying that as your friend not your master.” 

“you’re one to talk, what did you call him yesterday? oh that’s right, insolent. if memory serves you said that to him pretty confidently,” you said. 

“well, yes, but I'm allowed to say those things,” obi-wan countered, popping up one of his expressive eyebrows as he looked at you. 

you stifled out a weak laugh, “I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of me liking him.” and that was the truth, there is no way that you weren’t going to do what almost everyone does here: allow him to get away with the things that he does. sometimes your master calls him out on things - but it was incredibly rare. 

anakin walked over in his usual fashion, which you deemed as strutting, but others didn’t see the humor in it. maybe it was just because every time he even was in the same room as you, you felt the need to insult something about him, you had to keep him grounded, right?

“good evening, y/n.”

“oh, it was,” you said to him, glancing in his direction and then instantly going back to your food. from the corner of your eye you could see as his face feigned hurt, then he immediately went to talking with obi-wan about the mission that your master had previously been briefing with you about. it was something about some trouble on the outer rim, separatists spotted trying to negotiate with the rulers of a planet that was vital for the republic to maintain peace with. a typical mission, one that you’ve been on one too many times. but maybe something exciting would happen, you never knew. 

dinner was, for the most part, uneventful. the only thing that happened was anakin threatening to throw his starfruit at you because you rolled your eyes at one of his comments, which didn’t end up happening because obi-wan gave him that look and a stern ‘anakin.’ 

for the rest of the night you retired to your rooms, telling the two you would meet them in the morning. 

you sat at the edge of your bed, kicking off your shoes and stretching your arms up. you set your comms down on the small nightstand you had and got dressed in something more comfortable for sleeping. the sun was fully down now, and the only thing that lit up your room was the tall lamp in the corner of your room and the distant lights of other buildings through your windows. 

as you slipped into bed under the covers, you allowed your mind to wander. first, to the mission, where you silently went over the details in your head to make sure you had them all memorized. you knew for certain that anakin didn’t, which could possibly give you a leg up in the future. and the more you pondered, the more they landed on anakin.

it was strange, thinking of him. typically you would be cringing at anything that included anything to do with anakin skywalker, but this time you allowed your mind to expand instead of bringing up the protective barriers like you always did. the calming effect of letting the force just make its way through every neuron and crevice of your mind was almost enough to lull you to sleep. 

that was until you heard a whisper, just the faintest, tiniest little sound that you were almost uncertain that you had even heard anything at all. 

your eyes stayed closed, again letting the force do what it wanted in your mind and waiting to see if it happened again. there was a presence there, just on the outer barriers of your mind. there was silence, complete and utter silence and you were about to call it a night when-

you’re thinking about me? 

you jolted up to sit, eyes snapping open and your head getting dizzy from the sudden shift in position. it was anakin’s voice, clear as day in your mind, that was what you were hearing. how could you be so stupid? it was like the force was trying to push that connection. and now that it was established, you knew that you would have to put up more barriers in your mind in order to keep him out. 

and the worst thing was that he was still there. you could feel it. you put your hands on either side of your head and closed your eyes, reaching him and saying, 

i was not. 

it was the weakest lie you had ever made in your life. 

you’re such a liar, anakin chided. you could practically feel his smirk. just admit it. 

you groaned to yourself, feeling a bead of sweat drop down your face from the focus. goodnight, anakin, you said to him and then immediately cut off the connection. 

now you were wide awake, you were sure that there was no way you could get any sleep after that. you weren’t even angry at yourself for doing that, but more embarrassed that your thoughts connected you to anakin - because you were thinking about him. you knew there was no way you were getting out of this tomorrow. 

you busied yourself at your desk with some books you had previously gotten from the archives, trying your best to basically bore yourself to the brink of sleep. and just as you thought it was beginning to work, you heard a knock on your door. glancing at the clock, you saw that it was a little bit past midnight. who the hell was at your door at this hour?

for a moment you stilled, thinking that perhaps it was a mistake and they would leave then you could finally try and sleep, but there was again another knock a few moments later. you finally stood up and made your way to the door, opening it and being greeted by none other than anakin skywalker. he was dressed in his comfort clothes and hair messy, like he had been awake for way too long. 

he didn’t give you any time to say anything, instead pushing his way past you into your rooms. your eyes widened and you took a peek outside into the halls to make sure that no one saw that. luckily, the halls were dead. closing your door and turning the lock, you faced him and stood there deadpanned, waiting for some kind of explanation. 

“well, don’t act all happy to see me,” he said sarcastically. 

you laughed. “im not. what are you doing here? do you understand what could happen if someone sees you and me in my bedroom alone?” there would be rumors spreading like wildfire, something that you definitely didn’t need to be confronted by the council about this. you hated to admit that you knew the exact reason he was here - because of your mini conversation through the force. but that still begged the question as to why he cared so much about it in the first place. 

anakin rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair. you took a second to look him over, seeing that the black shirt he was wearing was sheer enough for you to know what he was hiding under it. you shuddered, coming to your senses again and frowning. “you were thinking about me, and i think i deserve an explanation,” anakin told you, shrugging his large shoulders and cocking an eyebrow up. “you were thinking so loud.” 

“I wasn’t trying to, i was trying to go to sleep.” you countered. 

“you think of me while trying to sleep?”

damn. wrong thing to say. and now he was giving you a look, one that you’ve never seen before from him. his eyes were almost dark, filled with lust. you felt like your fucking legs were going to give out at the look that he was giving you. it was enough to make your face heat up and clear your throat, not having anything else to say, there really wasn’t anything to defend yourself with. 

and it all happened so fast. one second you were both standing there, staring into each other’s eyes, and the next you both were walking towards each other and colliding your lips onto each others. the kiss was hot and searing, instantly making your head go dizzy at the feeling. his lips were soft, albeit a little harsh as his tongue forced its way into your mouth and prodded against your own. anakin’s hand came to grip your jaw, the other on the small of your back. 

you attempted to grab onto him, get your hands on him as much as his were on you, but he didn’t let you, using the hand on your back to pull you closer to your bed. you were still kissing, lips starting to swell with the agressiveness of the kiss. 

you still hated him, you had to keep telling yourself that, even though just by kissing he was making you feel so good. no attachments were to be made, this was purely just acting on normal human instincts, right? 

soon enough the backs of your legs were hitting the edge of your bed, anakin pushed you down onto the bed like it was nothing and you were silly putty molding in his hands. he fell on top of you, instead of kissing you on the lips, he went for your neck, one of his hands came and grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked it down, exposing your neck for him. 

and he made sure that you would have to somehow cover all the marks he was making, because his teeth seemed to graze over every inch of your skin and lightly nip anywhere he wanted. and you felt dirty because you let him. you would let him do whatever he wanted to do to you. 

anakin pulled away from you for a moment to pull his shirt off, discarding it to the floor and helping you to do the same with your shirt. you took a moment to look him over, seeing that his body was practically sculpted and personally handcrafted by the maker themselves, basically knocking the breath out of you. he noticed and you didn’t even care, instead of cringing at his smirk, you found it incredibly hot. 

your hands came to his torso, wrapping your legs around his waist as his mouth began kissing along your chest. you pressed your hips up against him, trying to get friction against your already wet core. sadly, it wasn’t enough and you were left with whatever he decided to give you. 

“anakin, please,” you whispered out towards him, looking down to watch him slip one of your nipples into his mouth, your mouth hung wide open. he came off of it with a ‘pop’ and tilted his head, waiting for you to finish whatever you were going to say. 

“please what?” anakin asked, going back to kissing your chest until he landed on your stomach and started painting masterpieces on your skin. 

you made the tinest sound, feeling sparks send right down below. “just touch me already,” you stated, putting your hands in his hair and giving the curles a good tug. he groaned against him, the vibrations going through your entire body. anakin came up face to face with you, pressing yet another kiss against your lips and pushing down your pants and underwear to the ground. you were now all exposed to him, while he still wore half of his outfit. you pouted at the unfairness but you knew it would get you nowhere now. 

he held his hand out in front of you and for a moment you looked at him confused. he sensed this and said blankly, “spit.” you did what he asked and spit into his hand, watching as he took that same hand and touch your clit, feeling the wetness of your spit and your own mixing together. your mouth hung open as he rubbed his fingers around, experimentally pushing the tip of his finger into you then immediately pulled it out. 

you felt yourself almost whine, needing him to give you more or you felt like you would simply die on the spot. right as you were about to say something, anakin’s other hand came and grasped onto your neck, his fingers digging into your skin and putting pressure on your throat. 

holy fuck. 

typically, you would be angry with how much control anakin skywalker had over you, but now you were just giving into it, liking that he was being rough with you. it was like a form of argument without the words and you were becoming addicted to it. he was able to make you feel so good and you were completely in his power. 

finally, as if he was putting some pity on you, one finger slipped into you, curling up and hitting a spot inside you that made you moan loudly. the hand choking you became stronger against your neck, his mouth coming to your ear and whispering, “be quiet, you don’t want anyone to hear us and have this be over too soon, do you?” he was looking for an answer. 

you shook your head, understanding that this would not be the best time to get caught by anyone else. you tried your best to keep yourself quiet as one finger pumped in you, the thumb of that same hand pressing against your clit and making your toes curl in pleasure. you could feel how hard he was against you and that made the fire in your stomach ablaze, nearing towards that edge desperately wanting some kind of release. 

as soon as you felt yourself getting higher to that point, his hand came off your throat and his hand stopped moving, your eyes opened up and looked at him, who was busy pulling down his pants and grabbing his cock with his hand. 

it didn’t take long for him to position himself at your enterance, his tip teasing you by rubbing it up and down against your slit. “is this what you want?” anakin asked you, his other hand tracing down your body and coming to grip the side of your hip. 

you nodded your head fervently. “yes, anakin, please just fuck me already,” you said to him. 

and that was all he needed before he was ramming himself into you, giving you no time to adjust, which was expected. you took the pain that came with his harsh motions, both of his hands gripping your hips with such force that you were sure that you were going to have bruises there in the morning in the shape of his hands. 

anakin pounded into you, your voice was already hoarse from his choking and you made as quiet sounds as you could. all that anger you had for each other had bubbled up onto the surface and there was only the desire left, the sickly sweet feeling that you had only dreamed about with anakin in your deepest fantasies. you could never get tired of this, perhaps you should’ve initiated this sooner, or pushed his buttons so he would take it out on you this way. 

“god, you’re so fucking tight,” anakin said in that deep, gravelly voice that basically sent you into orbit the second that it came past your lips. you were so far gone, head empty of any incoherent thought other than anakin skywalker. and he continued to move into you shamelessly, neither of you caring about anything in the world except this feeling both of you were chasing. 

you were close, you could practically feel the tidal wave starting to form inside your stomach. his pace would not let up, practically tearing into you with all the energy and stamina that he had from years of training. and anakin looked so good like this, his mouth hung open and sweat forming on that tanned brow of his. his muscles working overtime and flexing with every single movement he made. and his eyes, which were so blue like the oceans of naboo, were staring right into your own, almost like they were telling you to give everything to him. 

you were so worked up, that it only took his hand to come down and rub down against your clit, the pressure enough to push you over the edge. it was like a firework went off inside and the scream you wanted to make died in your throat, wishing that you could be as loud as you wanted. your back arched up and your hips faltered against his own, cumming around him and squeezing, earning a moan from his lips as well. you looked so good coming undone that anakin basically was just sent into fucking orbit with no trace of coming back down. 

the second you regained your composure and came down from your own orgasm, you watched as anakin hit his own, hips shifting and releasing right inside of him. you felt him fill you up to the brim, anakin falling down with his chest pressed against your own. the room smelled of sex and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

the only thing was the sounds of your pants throughout the room, and soon enough anakin was pulling out of you. you frowned at the sudden loss of not being filled up anymore by him. just a second ago you felt like you were on fucking cloud nine and now you were crashing right down to reality at what you had done, and whom you had just done it with. 

you propped yourself up on your elbows, watching as anakin pulled his pants back up and started gathering the rest of his clothes in his hand. he was still shirtless, about to go towards the door when you said, “are you seriously going out there half naked?” 

“no one is up this late, trust me,” he said back. 

you bit the inside of your cheek. “well I don’t know about that after all the noises coming from here.” 

“that wasn’t me making all the moans,” anakin says in such a casual way you stare daggers back at him. he stifles out a laugh and then turns, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. you can hear his footsteps recede from the door and you are left here alone, thinking about what the hell you had just done. 

once you regained your composure and felt like you could walk, you stood up on your wobbly feet and made your way to your small mirror. the second you got there, you gasped at your appearance in the mirror. hair all messed up, marks all along your neck along with bruises from his hands, and the bruises on your hips. and to top it all off, you could feel what he left in you trickling down your thigh. 

that may have just been the best sex of your life. but you still hated anakin skywalker . . . 

. . . right?

[freakynct]

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: sub college student!yangyang, mentions of bullying, slight angst, oral sex, very slight mommy kink, fingering, pegging, praising, slight degradation

"hey beautiful, looking real good today." yangyang said, chuckling along with his asshole group of friends while eyeing you down as he passed by you in the hall. you never understood why he wanted to be associated with people like that, going around pretending like he only had two brain cells. you knew him since middle school. you grew up in the same neighbourhood and everyone saw him as the sweet cute kid that always helped and befriended everybody. because he really was. but once he got into college everything changed. you guessed the pressure of wanting to fit in and being afraid of getting left out scared him and he felt like he had to mold to the likings of the college assholes to be somebody. but you knew better. you knew who he really was and you were the only person he could not fool. and all thanks to the tutoring lessons you gave him in algebra. he could be as much of an asshole as he wanted on campus but once he was inside your dorm, you made the rules. and that cheesy line from earlier would serve him right tonight.

you looked at the clock, marking a quarter past six. normally at this time your roommate would be studying in the library, which would give you some privacy for yangyang's tutoring lesson. and only a couple minutes later, there he was knocking on the door. you opened up, revealing a wet haired yangyang, fresh from the shower, carrying his basketball equipment bag on his shoulder still.

"you're late." you simply said as he kept his head low, his wet bangs dangling over his forehead and hiding his eyes under them. 

"practice ran late. not my fault." you liked this. he was still trying to put up a front and act tough.

"just come in." you stepped aside, letting him enter your room and set his things on the bed. now that he was standing a little further away you could take a closer look at him. he wore baggy basketball shorts with an oversized sweater that gave him the cutest sweater paws, white ankle socks and his black and white skechers d'lites. you never got tired of seeing him wearing this. it was in fact your favorite outfit on him, made him look even tinier.

"brought your books?" you asked, setting yours on your desk as yangyang sat on your bed.

"mhm." was all he murmured as he unpacked his books from his backpack. you chuckled at his behavior, stepping closer to him slowly, watching as he followed your footsteps with his eyes, his body frozen in place until you were standing right in front of him and that's when his head lifted up carefully, his big shiny eyes looking up at you in a mix of confusion and neediness.

"i liked that line you used this morning. very charming." you smirked, watching him quickly look away but being stopped by your hand on his chin, squeezing his cheeks together and forcing him to look at you. "what is it? you're getting shy now, xiao yang (little sheep)? you were so confident with your friends, what happened?" you could see the red tone building up on his cheeks and even though you were holding his head in place, his eyes still couldn't look at you, wandering around the room and shyly avoiding eye contact. you chuckled, finally letting go of his chin and dropping to your knees so you could be at the same level with him. your hands slowly raised up his thighs and you felt him squirm and shiver, noticing how his eyes would look down at you and immediately drive away as soon as you made eye contact, his bangs still hanging freely on his forehead.

"can we start studying?" he mumbled, almost inaudible if the room wasn't so quiet, his stare fixed on the dark wooden floor.

"well that's a first." you answered surprised, your fingers dipping under his shorts and caressing his thighs. "you always prefer to do something else. what's wrong, xiao yang?" you cooed at him sweetly but was caught by surprise when yangyang suddenly moved your hands away, getting up more quickly than you could react.

"can you stop? lets just study, ok?" you could tell that he was angry but his voice was weak, almost breaking at the last part and you realized that he was on the verge of tears. your heart ached inside your chest and this was the first time that you didn't know what to do. he stood by your desk with his back turned to you, flipping the pages of the algebra book as if looking for something but only paying attention to not letting you see how red his eyes were turning.

"yang..." you softly called out, getting up and walking slowly towards him. "really, what happened?" you didn't dare touch him or come any nearer, afraid that it would only make him more upset.

"it's just... it doesn't matter what i do, it's never good enough." his voice trembled and you saw the wet mark on the white page where his tear had landed and suddenly you felt like crying too. "i'll never be one of them." he sniffed, his finger nervously playing with the edge of the page.

"what did those jerks do?" this time you moved forward, placing your hand on the back of his head and gently caressing his hair while you stood by him, your eyes trying to read any facial expression from him. he stood quiet, a knot forming on his throat and all he could do was stare at the useless book in front of him. "yang... have they been bullying you?" you tried to be as gentle as possible, your hand sliding down his neck and your thumb caressing his cheek lightly, not letting another tear fall from his face. he just nodded at your statement and you sighed. it was as if you could feel his pain and nothing could hurt you more than that. "xiao yang, look at me please." you asked softly, drawing him closer to you, his red shiny eyes looking shyly at you. "you're so special. and sweet... so sweet." you whispered the last word, yangyang's eyes closing as he felt your hands gently grabbing the sides of his face and the tip of your nose touching his. "they don't deserve a boy like you." his warm breath made you feel at home and you felt him relaxing under your touch, placing his hands shyly over your waist. not another word had to be said as your lips softly touched each other, feeling each other's presence before connecting in a passionate yet slow kiss.

as you moved away you saw his eyes sparkling back at you, this time not from his tears but from excitement. "please." he whispered, his head leaning forward in search of your lips again but you just gave him a warm smile, your hand coming up to run through his brown hair.

"are you sure? don't want you to feel like we have to do anything." you reassured him but he just moved closer, his arms tightening around your body and his head nodding softly.

"yes... i really want you... please." his words were getting desperate and you could feel his fingers pressing harder over your waist in anticipation. if it was any other day you would’ve teased him for longer but after what he had told you, you decided he deserved to get exactly what he was asking for so sweetly. 

“come here.” you smiled warmly at him, taking his half covered hand in yours and pulling him gently towards your bed, inviting him to sit on it. in just a matter of seconds you were both back in the position from earlier, yangyang sitting shyly on your bed as you kneeled in front of him, your hands caressing his thighs as his eyes wandered in excitement. 

you chuckled as he reached down to kiss you one more time and you loved how desperate he gets when you touch him and the deceiving innocent look on his eyes that makes the little puddle on your panties grow.

"what if we try something new today?" you smirked up at him, your fingers slowly wandering under the hem of his basketball shorts, feeling his thighs tensing up at the question. 

"uhm, like what?" his voice was unsure but deep down he was just as curious to find out what you had in mind. 

you dragged your hands over his stomach and chest until you reached his neck, cupping his face with both of your hands, and you noticed how his breathing got heavier as you moved your face closer to his. "have you ever been fucked, xiao yang?" you couldn't help but chuckle as you felt his cheeks burning up under your palms and his eyes immediately trying to avoid yours. 

"y-yes, you do it all the time." his voice came out as nothing more than a whisper and you held his chin in your hand, prompting him to look at you. 

"no yang, not like that. i mean, actually being fucked." you raised your eyebrows in a playful way and even yangyang couldn't help but smirk at your comment, chuckling softly as his cheeks turned a bright red color. 

"oh… in that case no, i haven't." you bit your lip in excitement, he looked so cute like this in front of you, the tips of his bangs still wet and sitting shyly on your bed, at your mercy. you could tell he was a bit nervous but he was intrigued by your idea. 

"do you want to?" you asked as your thumb slowly ran over his bottom lip, always so soft, and you had to fight against the urge to kiss him. he hesitantly looked at you and nodded his head softly. “you know nothing happens if you don’t use your words.” you said as you moved your thumb to caress his burning cheek.

“i want to.” it was his turn to bite his lip but this time more in nervousness than in excitement. “do you think it’s gonna hurt?” his fingers fidgeted with the hem of his shorts as he looked down but you were quicker to hold his head up.

“you know i would never hurt you, xiao yang. and we can stop whenever you want to.” you lifted yourself from the ground a little, planting a sweet kiss on his lips before looking in his eyes and murmuring “but something tells me you’re gonna love it.”

you smirked as you stepped away from him, leaving yangyang with his mouth slightly open examining your next move. 

“take your clothes off baby.” you said as you moved closer to one of your drawers, shuffling between your clothes as you heard yangyang behind you quietly removing his clothes as you asked. you turned around to be met by a half clothed yangyang, patiently sitting in your bed waiting for you, his hair all messy from undressing. “are you getting shy now? i meant all your clothes.” you chuckled as you slowly moved closer to him again. “or are you leaving that part to me, hm?” as he was about to answer your question, he was quickly distracted by what you held in your hand.

“is- is that a strap-on?” he almost whispered the last word as if it was a sin to say it out loud and you couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh at his innocence.

“of course. how do you pretend me to fuck you? i don’t have one of my own.” you chuckled and you watched as his cheeks returned to the bright red color that suited him so well.

“lock the door.” he quickly said, almost startling you and you rolled your eyes as you placed the strap-on next to him on the bed and walked to the door to do as he asked.

“you can relax yang, i already told you we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” you explained softly to him as you stepped in front of him again, smirking as you noticed the little bump under his underwear. “but it looks like you’re enjoying it already.” you smirked and as soon as he realized what you meant, his hands moved as fast as light to cover the evidence of his excitement, causing you to laugh.

“no one can know about this, ok?” he warned as he watched you start to strip away from your clothes until you were standing naked.

“why? are you scared your friends will make fun of you for liking to be fucked like a little slut?” you chuckled as he let his bangs cover the clear look of lust in his face but the growing boner inside his boxers gave everything away. 

before he could even say anything you moved to straddle his lap, your lips finding his in a passionate and intense kiss as if you hadn’t done it in a really long time. his hands shyly touched your thighs, his fingers although warm creating shivers down your body. his lips slipped from yours, hungrily kissing the skin of your neck, down to your collarbones until you were feeling his warm tongue evolving one of your nipples, sucking it in his mouth. you couldn’t help but roll your eyes back as your fingers intertwined with the freshly washed locks of his hair.

“hm, you’re such a good boy, i don’t even have to tell you what to do, do i?” he only hummed in response, too fixated on your breasts and how good they felt in his mouth. he had been thinking about this exact moment since last week when you were still in spring break but his mom had insisted he invited you over to his house to study but it’s needless to say you both ended up fucking in his childhood bedroom instead. his poor mom is probably still wondering how her son’s grades are still  so low when you two join up to study so much.

“i missed you so much.” he gasped as he finally let go of your nipple to look up to you, lips just as rosy and plump as his cheeks.

“i know you did xiao yang.” you pulled him in for a kiss before you stood up to grab the strap-on that patiently waited next to both of you. “and we’re gonna have so much fun, aren't we?” you smirked as you put it on, yangyang following your every move with his eyes and you were caught by surprise when you saw him falling to his knees in front of you, his eyes big and shiny and his tongue running through his lips. “what is it baby? you wanna suck it?” 

“yes please.” nothing could sound sweeter than yangyang begging and how could you say no when he’s kneeling so pretty in front of you. you didn’t need much convincing and he didn’t give you much time either as he stepped forward, his tongue shyly catching the tip of the strap-on, sucking it into his mouth and it didn’t take much time for him to have more and more of it inside is mouth, his cute little eyes fluttering shut as he tasted it and as your hand locked in his hair once again, incentivizing him to continue.

“i didn’t know you liked sucking dick this much.” you said biting your lip and you watched as his eyes opened for a little bit and he let the dildo slide away from his mouth.

“i like it when it’s yours mommy.” it wasn’t exaggerating to say that those words almost made you cum right there. he always had an impact on you that you couldn’t explain and before you could say anything in return he was back to wrapping his lips around the strap-on.

you let him have his fun for a few more minutes until you were pulling his hair back, ripping a whine out of him as the dildo fell from his mouth, a string of spit still attached to his bottom lip. you looked down and you chuckled as you noticed the little wet stain in his boxers.

“is that all excitement xiao yang? i bet you can’t wait to be fucked.” you helped him get up and moved him to the bed, laying him down gently as you kissed his now wet lips. you couldn’t help but move your hands down his torso until you were palming his boner over his underwear, causing him to softly moan against your mouth. “i think it’s my turn.” you smirked and lowered yourself, hooking your fingers on the hem of his boxers and pulling them down slowly, his cock hard and leaking pre cum. he had the prettiest cock you had ever seen. 

yangyang’s eyes rolled back and he let out the cutest moan as soon as you wrapped your lips around him, bobbing your head slowly and swarling your tongue around the tip of his cock. you watched him try to grab to the sheets as he moaned softly, his eyes closed shut and his chest rising up and down heavily as you felt the pre cum leak more and more onto your tongue.

“i’m not gonna last like this.” he moaned out, his hand weakly trying to grab you to stop you but he was way too out of it to do anything and you gave him a last suck before taking his cock from your mouth, watching it glisten against his tummy.

“i’ve barely started.” you said before reaching over to your bedside table, opening the drawer and taking out a small bottle of lube. as you leaned over him again you saw him biting on his bottom lip hard, his eyes wandering between the bottle in your hand and the strap-on you had attached to you. you ran your nails softly over his thighs, his cock twitching at the touch and you chuckled. “lift up your legs, xiao yang.” and you didn’t need to ask him twice as he eagerly lifted them, giving you a full view of his ass. 

you opened the bottle, letting some of the thick liquid fall over your fingers. you heard him hiss as you slowly rubbed the lub on him.

“is it cold?” you chuckled and he resorted to nodding his head, biting his bottom lip and letting his head fall back and sighing as you slowly started easing a finger inside him. 

“you think you can do two?” you asked and he quickly nodded his head again causing you to smirk at his eagerness. you slid a second finger in and this time yangyang could not hold a moan that sweetly fell from his lips. “that’s my good boy.” you cooed as you started moving your fingers slowly inside him, stretching him out and preparing him for what was coming next. 

you watched as the pre cum dripped from the tip of his cock and stuck to his bare tummy and you suddenly had the urge to have him in your mouth again but this time you had to focus on something else. he whined as you retracted your fingers from him and you grabbed the small bottle again, this time letting the liquid fall on top of the strap-on and you used your hand to spread it all over it. you lowered your body down and gave yangyang something he was craving so much since the beginning, evolving your lips with his in a intense and wet kiss, noticing how his breathing picked up pace.

“you think you’re ready baby?” you asked softly as you stared into his eyes and you couldn’t help but melt at the sweet smile he gave you, murmuring a small “yes”. god he was so cute, you couldn’t wait to destroy him.

you gave him one last kiss before positioning the tip of your strap-on at his entrance and slowly starting to make your way in. you could see his chest moving up and down as his breathing got heavy and his hands trapping the fabric of the sheets between his fingers. you gave him a moment to adjust to the new object inside him before starting moving at a slow pace, examining his every expression to make sure you were not hurting him but he was always so good for you and you weren’t surprised at how well he was taking your cock. eventually small moans started falling from his soft lips that he couldn’t hold back anymore, his head thrown back and small little droplets of sweat starting to form on his forehead and neck. 

“you like it? hm?” you smirked. “want me to go faster?” he tried answering you, you heard the start of the yes word starting to form on his mouth but there was no way he could say it, he was way too far gone into the new feeling he was experiencing. 

you picked up the pace of your hips, thrusting faster into him. you held his cock in your hand and ran your thumb over the tip, ripping out a whine from him that made your clit pulsate. you stroke him at the same time you fucked him and that seemed to hit the spot for him. his moans turned louder and his cute little hands found place on the back of his own thighs, holding his legs in place as he let you use him in every way.

“you take it so well, xiao yang. such a good little fuck toy.” you bit your lip as you watched the flustered yangyang in front of you, cheeks redder than before, his lips plump and his mouth slightly opened, letting escape the sweetest moans, his bangs now wet from the sweat, sticking to his forehead, and his cock hard and leaking in your hand, as you stroke him faster.

“f-fuck…” he moaned out, his body squirming as you realized you had found his prostate and that was your queue to not stop no matter what. 

“you can cum baby, don’t hold back.” you said as you hit his g-spot over and over again and moved your hand up and down on him, running your thumb over his red and now swollen tip and it didn’t take long until he was moaning out and cumming over your hand and his tummy.

“good boy.” you said as you slowly stopped your movements, letting his cock rest against his stomach and carefully removing the strap-on from him. yangyang’s legs slowly fell on the bed, his body tired and you smirked at him, quickly removing the strap-on from your body and discarding it somewhere next to you.

“you’re ok, yang?” you asked softly, placing a kiss on his still burning cheek and he was prompted to finally open his eyes as a cute smile appeared on his lips.

“that was the best thing ever.” you chuckled at his response, running your fingers over his messy hair. “wait.” he suddenly said, startling you. “did you cum?” you couldn’t help but laugh at how concerned he looked but that still didn’t seem to relax him.

“no. but don’t worry, seeing you like that made up for it.” you reassured him and kissed his lips but as soon as you looked at him again he still had the concerned look on his face. “yang i’m serious, it’s ok.” you chuckled as you got up from the bed, extending your arm out to him. “c’mon, let’s go take a shower.” you smiled and that seemed to finally make him let go of his worry. 

he held onto your hand and both of you walked to the shower. you loved these moments with yangyang too. the hot water running through your bodies while you kiss, washing each other up, laughing when one of you almost slips, those were always priceless moments.

“what are you doing?” you asked as he pressed you against the shower wall and started running kisses down your body.

“what does it look like i’m doing?” he said as he looked up, now kneeled in front of you, his lips placing a kiss over your hip bone. “i wanna make you feel good too.”

[sidespromptblog]

The Goodbye Letter

Warnings: Crying (Logan), Hurt/Comfort, goodbye letter, talk of fading (past tense- Logan), and general angst. 

Summary: After months of planning and thinking, Logan decides to finally leave the light sides for good. Through a letter.

AO3 LINK

Word Count: 2188

The desk lamp next to Logan clicked on, illuminating a corner of the logical side’s room on pale yellow light as the figure of the logical side sat hunched over his desk a pen clasped tight between cramping fingers. 

It was late, so late that even Virgil would have been asleep by now. 

Which meant that it was the perfect time to do this.  

“I can do it...” Logan softly chanted to himself, as he rubbed his temples only giving the clock on his desk a wayward glance. It was late, way too late for the emotions he was trying to wrangle right now. But it had to be done now, or else he wasn’t going to get it done at all. “We talked about this ahead of time, and we know that I can do this…” 

All things considered, Logan started his letter off pretty eloquently given the state of his emotions. 

“I hope, that when you finally notice that I am no longer around. That the silence where I once stood is deafening.” He began, finding that once he started it was almost impossible to stop. “I hope that you try to fill it in whatever ways you can possibly think of, be it your singing, dancing, or probably more accurately… the arguing that never seems to go away whether I’m there or not. Whatever way you try, I hope that they all fail and I hope that you remember the time where the silence wasn’t there. I hope that you remember that it was once me, and I hope that you remember how I once was.” 

Logan didn’t feel at all angry, despite how his letter may make him seem towards those it was directed towards… he wasn’t angry about any of it. He hadn’t been angry about it in such a long time, he was more…

Comfortably numb at this point, despite what the words scrawled on the page spelled out. It was easy to default to this past anger he’d felt, rather than attempted to write out how they’d made him this way and how’d they’d made him so empty, to begin with.  

He’d need longer than a few hours to explain that, it would take days… days that he didn’t have right now. 

He had long since passed the stage of being angry or even being sad, he’d shed so many tears that it had hurt to cry and it had hurt even more to just be sad without being able to cry. He had tried trashing things, burning all of his notecards, and just ripping everything that he had once worked on to shreds. Now there was just… nothing. He was just tired at this point, and that was left was that tiredness that made him feel as if that was all that there was at this point. He couldn’t recall a single morning where he woke up not feeling this constant tiredness. And not feeling like it would be better off to not leave his bed, let alone his bedroom. 

It was just easier to write this letter, rather than having to go through the struggle of having to explain himself without being interrupted or argued with. 

“I hope it hurts,” He added without much malice left inside of him. “I hope it hurts to realize how far you’ve pushed me. I could have gone an eternity existing beside all of you, had it not been for the belittling. I’m sad to say that I probably would have stayed a little longer even if that was the case, I loved all of you so much. But after recent events… something inside of me is broken now, and I don’t think that it will ever be fixed properly.” 

Much to Logan’s surprise, he felt a stripe of wetness streak down his face at his next words dotting the page that he was writing on. 

At the admission of weakness that he now felt.

But even so, that didn’t stop him.  

If anything it only spurred him on now, even as it became hard to see throughout all of the tears.

“I am far too damaged now to come back to you all. I don’t remember when I wasn’t.” 

Taking in a shaky breath, a whimper crawled up the logical side’s throat at the finalization that settled in his chest. He loved them… truly he did. He loved Roman’s energy, and how he put everything he had into every project he took. He had always given his whole heart to them regardless of how he felt. He loved Virgil’s mellowness and the way that he thought about things as realistically as he could despite how the world scared him. He loved Patton and his cheeriness, and his drive to keep going and to see the best in things… even if it wasn’t for the best in himself. 

“When did you first break me? And when could I no longer put myself back together?” 

But right now… it was so hard to love them. So hard that it felt almost impossible at this point. It was possible he knew… but not necessarily healthy. 

It was so hard to love them when they saw him as something optional, as something that was so boring that they couldn’t be bothered to even try to listen to him. Every single time they made a comment, every time they rolled their eyes, and every time attempted to ignore him once again…

It hurt. 

Every time it hurt more and more. 

“Logan?” 

The said logical side felt his shoulders stiffen at the hand that rested on his shoulder, gently cradling him as he went through wave after wave of tears that threatened to choke him if he didn’t let them out all at once.

It most certainly didn’t stop the shaking of his shoulders as he felt the tears that he had thought were once gone and dried up, rise up again with a vengeance. They ran down like a rainstorm, dripping onto the page and smudging the ink that hadn’t even begun to dry yet. Not that it mattered to him much anyways, it wasn’t the neatness he cared about now, but rather what the words had meant to him. What the emotions that had been locked away inside of him had tried to say after all of these years, and… what he had convinced himself that he had been alright with for years upon years. 

He wasn’t okay. 

Burying his face in his hands Logan tried to choke out an apology. “S..Sorry.. Sorry.” He mumbled out behind his mess of tears, “I thought that I was okay enough to write this. I thought.. I thought that it wouldn’t hurt as much… I’m sorry.” The apology was constant, despite the hand that released his shoulder instead curled around him, pulling him into a warm hug. 

A part of him wanted to pull against it, to finish his letter and everything that it entailed. Part of him wanted to rebel against the warmth from the other side, and from the hand gingerly petting his hair as his breathing hitched and a near-silent sob bubbled out of him. But…

He didn’t, as much as that part of him wanted to… he sank back into the comfort that was so freely given to him.

Why did kindness hurt just as much as cruelness? 

“It’s okay,” That gentle voice murmured again, “We both knew that this wouldn’t be easy, writing a goodbye letter is… very hard to do. It involves a lot of digging up old emotions and putting them on display for others to see, and that’s scary and hurtful for you. You’ve been hurt, and you have a lot to say.” A soft kiss pressed against the top of his head. “It’s okay Logan, you’re doing good.” 

Taking in a deep breath he nodded before leaning his head back enough to look back at the side that had come at the sign of his smallest discomfort. Janus’ mismatched eyes stared down at him with a sad kind of understanding, it was the kind of look that anytime before he understood would have made Logan very confused. But now… now he reached up, gingerly taking the hand that had resumed the petting of his hair and placed a tiny kiss on the palm. The tears on his cheeks hadn’t even dried as Janus swiped them away, the softness was unbelievably evident in just about everything that he did for Logan. 

“Thank you,” Logan whispered, his voice cracking with each word. “I’m okay, it’ll be tough to finally finish this… but I’ll be okay.” 

Janus’ eyes searched his for a long terse moment, before finally nodding.

Leaning down the dishonest side placed a simple kiss on the logical side’s forehead, the smell of his cologne lingering. “Okay,” He slowly began. “Be sure to take a break if you need to. Call me or Remus if necessary. He’s almost done completing your space in the imagination, just a few more hours and it’ll be fully complete.” A tiny smile lit up the serpentine side’s face, “He’s very excited to show it to you…” 

Oh, Logan was sure about that. Remus had spent the past few months creating blueprints for Logan’s new home ever since the logical side had brought up his idea of just leaving. At first… Logan had brought up the idea of leaving as a last resort, as in leaving the other sides as well as Thomas. Of just leaving the mindspace and never looking back, of finding his place in the real world even if he technically wouldn’t be able to survive as anything more than a phantom of a man. He had been prepared to make that sacrifice, even if it had meant that he could begin to feel better about where he was. 

It had really scared Remus and Janus when he had talked about it…

Apparently, he had been almost manic about the idea of it.

He wasn’t exactly in the best place back then, so their fear wasn’t exactly unwarranted.   

He’d even contemplated fading into the subconscious, and just becoming one of Thomas’ baser instincts. Still acting as logic, without being present and visible for him to be summoned at will. It had been a very tempting idea back then, but now… he had better plans, with a future that wouldn’t be nearly so painful as the past. 

“Yeah,” Logan smiled, his hand reaching up to card through Janus’ loose hair. “I can’t wait.” 

“This is goodbye, I am certain that I will miss all of you. It would be impossible for me not to miss any of you, I’ve grown up with you all and seen how you’ve all changed throughout the years. I will always hold a bit of fondness for you all. Patton, Virgil, and Roman. I love you all dearly so, but… I cannot continue. I cannot last how I have been, so this will likely be the last you ever hear of me. I will not show myself to Thomas, in fact, I will not be capable of being summoned. So for all intents and purposes… this is a final goodbye. So finally… Goodbye. Sincerely and with love, Logan ‘Logic’ Sanders. For the last time.” 

With a sigh of relief, Logan neatly folded the letter that he had spent the better part of the week writing. Sealing it with a glob of hot wax, that Roman would most certainly find ironic, Logan sealed the letter before finally rising to take it to its final resting place where it would be found by the others in the morning. Rising up in the living room, he moved silently and quickly, he placed it on the kitchen counter that connected to the dining room. 

Most certain Patton would come in the morning and find it, he’d be the first to read it and thus the information would spread to the others as well. They would all know well before the morning had even begun.  

“Janus?” Logan softly called out as he rose back up into his bedroom, “Do you think it’s ready yet?” 

The excitement on the other side’s face told him everything that he needed to know as he extended his hand to the logical side. “Yeah,” Janus murmured softly, the warm smile on his face growing. “Are you ready to see your new home?” 

With a nod, Logan sank down with Janus.

Just to rise up to feel the warm sunshine on his face, and the sight of a homely cottage that had been made just for him well within in his sight. Remus had really outdone himself this time. The long grass tickled his feet, and the smell of wildflowers graced his nose, letting him know right away that place was safe for him and not a single thing would hurt him here. The babbling of the stream in the distance, and the swaying of the windchimes in the distance almost made Logan want to weep from the pure joy of it all.  

He was home. 

He was safe. 

[my-unmanageable-mischief]

Almost Lost

For the Anon who requested : hello! i see that youre open for request, so please, can you write sirius x reader where they had a fight (sirius being flirty to others or anything), the reader just storm off and got kidnapped or hurt by death eater? an angst with fluff ending maybe? thank you so much

Sirius Black x Reader

“I said I was sorry!” Sirius yelled at you, following you as you stormed down the stairs, pushing past a confused looking James as you did. 

“Take your sorry and shove it up your arse!” You yelled back, stopped on the stairs to point your wand at the young man, “Get away from me,” You hissed. He stopped, holding his hands up defensively, but he looked beyond pissed. 

“Are you gonna hex me?” 

“Into next week,” You promised, before turning to walk away again, you were staying at the safe house the order was using, someone always had to be there, and this month it was up to you, Sirius, James and a newly pregnant Lily’s turn. 

“Y/N,” James tried to cut in, looking worriedly at his wife who shrugged helplessly from the sofa. When you and Sirius went at it, it was usually best to keep out. You two were both too fiery for your own good, and when you exploded, you exploded. But you always made up. 

“Shut it James,” You both barked, then turned to glare at each other as if to say, ‘how dare you’. You grabbed your coat off the back of a chair and pulled it on, Sirius came to you, trying to stop you. 

“Where are you going? What do you think you’re doing?” You yanked yourself out of his grip, continuing to pull the coat on. 

“Like it matters to you, go flirt with McKinnon some more why don’t you,” He threw his hands into the air, groaning loudly. 

“You’re insane,” He yelled, “Bonkers!” He tried to grab at you again, “And you’re not running off into the bloody night!” You shoved his chest, pushing him away from you, eyes burning with tears. 

“And you’re a slag! I’ll do whatever I please!” You cried, “You don’t get a say in what I do!” 

“Fine! Leave! And don’t come back!” He hollered and you stormed towards the front door, Sirius still in tow. 

“I will! I hate you!” You opened the door, feeling the frigid air of London in winter hit your face. You were grateful for the cold, you needed to cool down. You stepped outside and Sirius attempted to grab you once more, you wiggled out of his grasp. 

“Don’t-” He stopped, dropping his hands, “Say that!” You stopped at the bottom of the steps, looking up at Sirius in the doorway. You both didn’t say anything for a moment, just looked at each other. Finally, you broke eye contact, turning and walking away into the night. “Y/N!” He yelled after you, making to follow but James put a hand on him, stopping him.

“Mate, give her some space.” Sirius shook his head wildly, 

“It’s late and dark, she shouldn't be out alone.” He whispered, but James was already guiding him back into the house, “She said she hates me,” He muttered, dropping down into one of the armchairs. “Hates me!” 

“She doesn’t hate you,” Lily assured him, shaking her head. “She is angry with you, she hates when you act like a jerk. It’s different.” James sat next to Lily on the small sofa, wrapping an arm around her. 

“You were being a bit much mate, with the flirting.” 

“I wasn’t flirting!” James gave him a look and Sirius crossed his arms defensively over his chest. “I wasn’t.” 

“You were.” 

“Well, Y/N started it, she was being a bitch all morning, I just wanted some fun banter is all,” Lily looked at him disapprovingly, and Sirius groaned, throwing his hands up again. 

“I said she was being a bitch, not that she is one!” James nodded understandingly as Lily continued to purse her lips. The rest of the night was spent in relative silence. Sirius occasionally getting up to pace the small living room before looking out the window, like you’d be there, waiting on the steps. 

“She should be home by now,” He commented when the clock in the room struck midnight, “It’s my fault, I told her not to come back,” He was growing more and more worried by the minute. “I shouldn’t have said that,” 

“You both said things you didn’t mean,” Lily assured him, “She’s taking a mo for herself, maybe she went to Alice’s.” She tried to supply helpfully but Sirius wasn’t pacified. 

“I’m going to go look for her,” He decided, going to grab his own coat, James got up, putting a hand on his arm. 

“Give it another hour, let Lily mail Alice. If she isn’t back by one I’ll come with you, alright?” Sirius nodded his head slightly, tossing himself back down into the chair. James got Lily a quill and a piece of parchment, and owled her small note when she was finished writing it. Another hour and a quarter passed by tensely as they waited for the owl to return, Sirius still periodically checking the window. Finally there was a tap tap tap at the window and James went to let the owl back in. He opened the note as Sirius looked at it over his shoulder. 

“She’s not there, we need to go find her,” James nodded his head and sighed, handing the note off to Lily. 

“Alright, let’s go,” James agreed, grabbing his own coat as Sirius dashed towards the door- his coat forgotten. 

They searched for you everywhere. All the streets in a mile radius, every alley, every nook and cranny. Sirius even started calling your name, much to the sleeping cities delight. He was becoming frantic, and James was growing more and more worried for his friend and for you. 

“She always comes back, something is wrong,” Sirius stated, looking around wildly, practically spinning in a circle. James grabbed him, stopping him, Sirius looked at his friend with glistening eyes, “Something is wrong,” 

“Maybe she went home, it’s nearly three, maybe she is home, sitting with Lily and they’re talking about how big of tossers we are-”

“You know that isn’t true.” James nodded slightly. 

“Alright, where would she go, home?” Sirius shook his head. “Come on, Sirius, think, where would she go?” Something dawned on him. 

“There’s a park a few blocks from here, I know she’s gone there before. To think, when I’m being a git.” How did he not check there first? Godrick, he was a fool. 

“Come on then,” James nodded, “Let’s go,” They got to the park in record time, Sirius almost in a full on run, he went to the swings first, no one was there. Then he went and checked the benches on the other side of the park, also empty. 

“Y/N!” He yelled out, James looked around as well, knowing better than to shush his friend at this point. “Y/N!” There was a rustling in a nearby bush and Sirius’s head snapped to look at it, then he was running. He couldn’t see or hear or even think. All he saw was one of your gloves laying on the ground near where the sound came from. He reached the bush and what he saw made his heart stop beating in his chest, “Y/N,” He cried out, and James was beside him in a second. 

You were laying there, pale, dried blood around your scalp and mouth. He touched you and you were freezing. 

“James, give me your coat,” He barked out and James obliged immediately. Sirius wrapped you in the warm fabric, and pushed the dried blood laden hair from your face. Your eyes fluttered and you looked at him- or past him. Sirius didn’t think you were really seeing him, you weren’t all there. He did this. He did this to you. He made you so mad, you left, and you got hurt. He did this to you. 

“Siri?” You murmured, trying to lift a weak hand, he gripped the hand, squeezing your frozen digits in his hand. 

“Shh, love, don’t try and talk. You’re okay, you’re going to be okay,” He promised, he was crying, he watched as his tears landed on your pale cheek. He leaned down and kissed them away, “You’re okay,” 

“We need to get her home,” James stated, hand going to his friend's shoulder, “Come on,” Sirius gathered you in his arms, and lifted you, feeling your limp body in his arms. He wanted to squeeze you to him, to breathe life back into you somehow. The walk back home was tedious, James guiding Sirius through the dark streets back to the safe house. He reached the door first, propping it open as Sirius rushed inside. 

“Take her to the fire,” James ushered them in, “She needs to warm up,” 

“Merlin!” Lily cried, jumping to her feet when the group entered, eyes wide with horror, “What happened?” 

“We don’t know, we found her in the park, go get blankets Lil, please.” Lily was off in an instant to go find blankets and to boil some water for tea. Tea would help. Sirius sat down in front of the fire, laying you gently onto the carpet, your head in his lap. 

“Sirius?” You murmured, reaching out to him again, he held tightly to your hand, continuing to stroke your hair with his other hand. 

“You’re okay, love, I’m right here.” He promised you, “It’s okay,” Lily returned with blankets and helped Sirius wrap you in them. He held you as some of the color returned to your cheeks, as your body became to warm up, and you began to stir more. 

“Where am I?” You asked, groggily, and Sirius leaned down to kiss your forehead. 

“We’re at the safe house,” He whispered. Lily got her book of medicinal spells and sat beside the two in front of the fire, smiling smally at you. 

“Do you know what happened? So I can fix it?” 

“Were you followed?” You asked, and the other’s shared an uneasy look. 

“What?” James asked and you sat up slightly, eyes still unfocused, but full of panic. 

“Death eaters, found me, did they follow you back from the park?” 

“Y/N,” Lily spoke softly as Sirius continued to hold you, pulling you closer to him. “What did they do to you,” 

“ Cruciatus Curse,” You managed to spit out, “Until I couldn’t see or breath or move,” Sirius winced, again pulling you closer. Lily let her medical book fall shut with a small gasp. 

“Oh, Y/N,” She gushed, “I.. None of this will help, I think we have some Peppering Up potion in the kitchen, I’ll be right back.” She stood up, looking pointedly at James who followed her into the kitchen to give you a moment alone. You were coming back into yourself, and you sat up furter, looking at your boyfriend. 

“I’m sorry,” You whispered and he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. 

“Why are you sorry?” He asked, gently, “This is all my fault,” You shook your head, eyes welling up with tears. 

“All I kept thinking was... was I’m gonna die, and the last thing I said to you was I hate you, I’m so sorry,” You voice broke and tears were streaming down your cheeks. Sirius pulled you into a hug before pulling back far enough to kiss your lips- then each each, your chin, your nose and finally your forehead. 

“I was so scared, I knew something bad had happened. I said so much I regretted saying, I am so so sorry, I am an arse, and I don’t deserve you. Or your love.” He whispered. You hugged him back, burying your face into the nook of his neck. 

“I love you, I could never hate you,” You promised and he squeezed you to him. 

“I know, I know. It’s okay, you’re okay, we’re okay.” He assured, over and over, “We’re okay. I love you too, so much.” You laid on the floor in front of the fire, embracing. Lily came in and dropped off the potion before saying goodnight, taking James with her. You spread out in front of the fire, cuddled up under the blankets. Your head was on Sirius’s chest and you listened to his heart beating strong beneath his jumper. All he could think of was how scared he was he almost lost you. How he would have never been able to forgive himself. How he couldn’t lose you, not now, not ever. 

“Y/N?” He asked into the quiet room, seeing if you were still awake. 

“Hm?” He took your left hand in his, and ran a finger over your knuckles. 

“Marry me?” You lifted your head and gazed up at him. 

“Seriously?” You asked, and he grinned down at you. 

“I’m always serious.” He joked and you managed to roll your eyes at the man, “Yes I am serious. I learned an important lesson today, and I am so stupid. I am such a fool, that you had to get hurt for me to learn it. I need you, Y/N, today, tomorrow, forever. I want you to be my wife.” You looked at him for another long minute, seeing in his eyes how genuine he truly was. Finally you put your head back down on his chest, letting your eyes fall shut. 

“Of course I’ll marry you,” He wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head. He would never tell you not to come home again. That much he was sure.

[serenadeonacanoe]

Honestly, I'd piss him off on purpose. (Namjoon x OFC)

Pairing: Namjoon x Original Female Character

Genre/Warnings: Smut, Angst, Fluff, too tired to beta

Tags: Artist!Namjoon, Yoongi and Tae are the best flatmates, Enemies to Lovers I guess... more like brats to making out in the storage unit, OFC is an idiot.

Summary:

"Wow. Is that that grumpy artist behind you? Jesus. He really looks like a bit of a dick. And you are right. He really is hot..." Oh no. Speakerphone. Namjoon was standing behind me and was staring at me. Then at my phone. He let out a little laugh, then raised his hand to wave at Tae and Yoongi outside who were now also staring at him as if frozen, before turning around in unison. As if that would help. As if he couldn't see them. Or better even... couldn't hear them.

[...]

Mister Darcy has nothing on Kim Namjoon - that new and upcoming artist you probably already heard of (You haven't? How dare you? At least have the decency to pretend you have!). He is cold, serious, and rather good at making other people believe he is a prick. Especially Elizabeth Bennet - uh... Charlotte - is about to lose it because of him. Maybe in a good way. Man, I'd literally piss him off on purpose.

More chapters on AO3

CHAPTER 1

Even the sound of my own nails rhythmically tapping on the top of the counter was annoying me. To be fair, it didn't need much today to blow my fuze that had never been particularly long in the first place. But after a week consisting of being belittled by old white men and endless hours of unpaid overtime I about had it. Welcome to the art world. You know well before you enter that the hours are horrible and the job market is more than frustrating, but you love art and you have good organisational skills, you are resilient, charming when it counts and tend to romanticize things even when you know you shouldn't. It's too late to turn around now.

"That is why I don't use an agenda or notebook. If something is important enough for me to attend I simply won't forget. I know you youngsters are all about the bullet journaling and expressing yourself by mapping out your life but it really is just another way to procrastinate instead of getting to actual work." For a second I considered throwing my damn notebook in the buyer's face, but that probably wouldn't have helped my CV and the new job I would have to look for starting tomorrow. At least I should have screamed at him a little. Mainly, that I didn't care, that I was on my period and my shitty shower in the shitty flat i shared had broken and no dry shampoo in the world had fixed my hair this morning and that god damn it, how the hell was I supposed to remember every phone number, every call my boss had to take, every art handling transport I had organized if I couldn't write it down somewhere. Instead, I smiled. Died a little on the inside and complimented him on the gift of his exceptional memory and asked whether he would like another cup of coffee.

"What a dick." Samantha murmured, more to herself than me, after the guy had finally left, which made me snort under my breath. She usually didn't say much but when she did it was usually pure gold. In the end, it didn't matter that he was. Didn't matter that everyone at the gallery thought the art he had bought from us over the last couple of months had neither been smart nor impressive purchases. Mainly expensive. And flashy.

"Doesn't matter now." I said in a sigh after a quick glance at the clock. It was Friday night and we were about to close. Since it was my birthday on Monday I had taken two days off, about the longest break I had had this year and I was looking forward to being the lazy slob for a few days I was maybe always meant to be. In silence we answered a few last emails, tidied up the desks and counters so that potential buyers that would come in over the weekend wouldn't have to suspect anyone was actually working here. - A white desk. A huge Imac on it. That was all they needed to see, folders and pens and apparently especially agendas to be hidden away in drawers.

At five to eight I threw on my coat and Samantha just gave me a tired smile. Probably happy for me, just exhausted. "Have fun then? Don't get too wasted?" "Oh..." I said with a huge smug grin on my lips. "You have no idea... gonna take a bottle of Moët with me from the bar and drink it in my bathtub after eating a huge pepperoni pizza by myself and dancing to only the finest of 90s Euro Trash." I couldn't help it, apparently, I felt it necessary to give Sam a little demonstration, waving my arms up and down while swaying my hips in a way that I'd probably would not have if it hadn't been for a bit with an audience of a single person. Or maybe two?

A quiet scoff behind me and I quickly turned around, slowly lowering my arms, Sam biting her lower lip at the sight of me standing there like an idiot in front of HIM of all people.

Men didn't have to be old to annoy me. Or white. Yes, those were the ones that pissed me off most usually, but no one had managed to do so as much as Kim Namjoon recently. And now he was standing there, looking me up and down and stopping at my hair. The crazy too-much-dry-shampoo-because-the-shower-broke-hair. "Nice." He just commented and then looked over at Sam. "I'd like to take a last look before Sunday's opening if that is okay?" I stood there, my shoulders dropping, completely ignored.

"Uhm, actually, my babysitter has to leave in about an hour and I will have to be home before that." Samantha replied and I was impressed by how calm she stayed. "Of course." Namjoon said and gave her a slight smile. "Anyone else still around? Chris maybe?" Of course Chris hadn't been in today. It was Friday and unless important guests had announced themselves the owner of the gallery wasn't around on Fridays... "I am afraid not. But maybe Charlotte has a few minutes?" Well. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I felt a little betrayed. "Wouldn't want to keep anyone from their important Moët-Pizza-Dance Party plans." Namjoon replied before I could say a word. His voice once more dropping to a hushed, deep disapproval and his hands buried in the pockets of his rather expensive looking coat. Silence for a few moments and then he just walked off towards the room his exhibition had been set up all week. Showing without a further word that I would have to stay anyways if he wanted it that way.

"Well thank you for pushing me under the bus like that. Really appreciate it." "I am so sorry. But I was serious, I can't lose this babysitter. She got Jamie to eat vegetables. VEGETABLES!" Samantha suddenly seemed in a rush, grabbing her jacket and purse and showering me in promises she would make it up to me. Even though we both knew that wouldn't happen and wasn't necessary. Suddenly having to stay longer was normal. I just hated that it had to be today. And because of him.

I heard the door close behind Sam and I stood there for a second before putting my bag down again. Usually, I would have followed the artist, asking if I could somehow help, but nahhh... my ego was bruised up enough now, especially remembering the little dance. I closed my eyes. Fucking hated the guy. Always had. Well, not quite. I had thought he was cool for about five minutes when he had come in the first time. We had heard about him for quite a few months before, I think I had even seen pictures of him at some point, but those were nothing compared to him in real life. He came in all cheekbones and sharp chin and an all grey outfit, quick pace, observant gaze. Incredibly hot. He had also completely ignored me.

That's how it had started - a bruised ego. He couldn't know that it was my weak spot. Having studied art and its management and now feeling like a better secretary at times, when my colleagues and I were doing all the behind the scenes work while Chris worked very little hours and ended up with all the money and recognition. I was aware this wasn't the only field of work where this was the case, but it still frustrated me... I had imagined my life in the last years of my 20s to be a bit more glamorous than living in a tiny apartment on the outskirts of the city... spending my Friday night waiting for some rude artist dude to leave so I could lock up.

But what I perhaps hated most about him... was that I admired him. - Purely for his art. Really. Even the fact that he kept acting as if I wasn't around every time he came in didn't mean I couldn't admit that. At least to myself. The stories behind his huge colleagues were clever and thought through, but even without context, the pure aesthetics were mesmerizing. It was the kind of art that touched something deep inside of you and standing in front of it I always had a hundred questions. Whenever he brought in a new piece I was the first one to sneak a peek in the back rooms before it was hung.

"I don't get why you have such a problem with him. He is just... quiet. I think he might even be shy... stop being so sensitive and just ask him out already." I had almost strangled Sam for that comment a couple of weeks back. Stop being so sensitive. What did that even mean? Comments like that made me want to cry and scream at the same time, which probably would have been perceived as even more sensitive, but when had insensitivity become something to strive for? I had only kept quiet because I liked Sam and I knew what she had tried to say. At least I thought so. That I might have given less of a shit if I hadn't been rather attracted to Namjoon. Even though I had never mentioned it, she just knew. She knew if I didn't care about something I didn't waste my time on it. But if something made me angry or upset there was usually more to it. I hated that she could read me that easily. But he was still a dick and I still wanted to go home.

He took his sweet time. After an hour I walked up to him, a little speech prepared in my head about how he could come back first thing tomorrow. But when he turned around he just raised a hand between us to keep me from interrupting and turned away again. I hadn't seen that he was on the phone. "No, it's nothing, just one of the gallery employees." I heard him say and okay... if I wasn't about to explode before I was now. I stood there for a minute, fuming, and then simply walked back to the office area, my hand shaking when I started turning off the gallery lights one by one. It wasn't as satisfying as I had hoped but still felt good. Two minutes later the only lights still on were the one above my head and the one in front of the door. I would at least give him a clear direction where to head, he seemed to need it.

When Namjoon appeared out of one of the dark corners he looked even more annoyed than usual. Looking my direction through squinting eyes and his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek. "Seriously?" he yelled my way and almost walked into one of the little flyer shelves. Wasn't the first time I had seen that happen to him though so maybe that had nothing to do with the light.

I felt oddly triumphant. By the time I had put on my coat and turned off the remaining lights, ready to finally lock up, Namjoon had almost found his way, standing in the open door, still on his phone. A little groan from my side when he didn't even notice that I was standing behind me went by unnoticed. Or simply ignored. But instead of the appropriate clearing of the throat or the maybe less polite squeezing past him, I just put my hands on his back and gently pushed him forward a bit, until his feet hit the pavement and he turned around. Dropping his hand with the phone in it, for a second he looked like he wanted to push back. Or trample me.

"Okay, what the hell is your problem, Charlotte?" His voice was hoarse. His eyes dark. God, he was hot. I hated him so much. "You." I simply replied and stared at him for a second, then turned around and locked the two locks on the door before stepping over to the alarm system. I couldn't help feeling smug because apparently, he knew my name. I imagined him staring at the back of my head because he was flustered, but couldn't be sure. All I knew was that when I turned around again a minute later he was still standing there, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his lips pressed together forming a straight line and watching me.

"Do you always act like that at work around people who could get you into trouble?" He was right, he could get me into trouble. But I was too fired up now, my heart racing. "Is that a threat?" "An observation." "Only around the ones I don't like." "Cool." "Great." "Enjoy the dance party. Sounds shit."

And with those words he had turned around, coat flying open in the wind, unfortunately making him look really cool as he walked away and I ABSOLUTELY HATED HIM. I kept my mouth shut and just walked off in the other direction, realizing minutes later that my car was parked the other way, but I kept walking for a while before I finally turned around. It took a while to calm down and only cuddling up to my cat on the couch to trash tv finally did the job. But by then I had realized something I wasn't sure I liked too much. Yeah, I thought he was a prick. And yeah I should have just played it cool. Would have been much smarted in many regards. But I also had somewhat enjoyed myself in the most fucked up way.

Seeing that stern look, that intense posture as he was towering over me... man, I'd literally piss him off on purpose.

More chapters on AO3

[lambourngb]

a skeleton of something more [3/7]

previously here. malex wip based on the trailer for season 3, some spoilers and my own speculation. I’m failing at the daily serial because keeping to 2K is impossible, but hoping to have it finished by next week.

Warnings: NSFW content, not forrest long friendly

*** NOW **** 

Alex shut off the streaming hot water reluctantly, and shifted back on the new shower bench to lean his head against the tile. 

His fingertips were pruned from the long shower, his attempt at using the scalding water to try to wash away the dirt he felt covered in after being away from Roswell for so long. Pointless endeavour, when he knew the filth was more than skin deep at this point. It was in his bones. It was in his blood, the way the Manes name still opened the worst doors. Alex touched the corners of his smile with his hands, looking for the edge of the mask he wore around Deep Sky and finding only the bristle of his beard growing in, a very late five o’clock shadow.

The steam of the shower was slowly fading, bringing back the visual details of his naked body. His stump was slightly swollen, the marks of wearing his prosthesis for too long, but it was hard to feel safe without it on, doing the work he was doing around even more paranoid men than he was. Three years past his injury, the scars were still ugly to his eyes as he cupped his fingers over the end of his right leg, but time had faded the lines from an angry red to a wizened white. 

Alex hoped that time would do the same to his soul. 

He moved his hand from his stump, over to his thighs to stretch the lingering soreness from his legs. He ignored where his cock laid, half-full of blood from the simple pleasure of a hot shower; the desire to let himself feel good was far from his mind. Instead he focused on returning functionality to his body after the long, cramped ride on that bus. That was the physical challenge, the emotional one would be trickier. 

It helped that he knew Michael was still there, in his house, probably fixing something else that had been neglected during Alex’s time away. Finding something that was broken or damaged, and then making it whole just with his touch, that was what Michael did naturally. Alex was no exception to that.

Every muscle was loose finally, thanks to the improved water pressure beating on the knots of tension until they turned into putty. Beyond the simple improvement of the plumbing, Michael had also relocated the shower taps to the wall next to the bench, so he could sit safely and turn on the water without balancing on one foot in the front of the stall. 

New grab bars lined the bathroom walls as well. Alex had worried about the expense until he recognized the chrome and black rails from the boxes he had bought a while ago, before shuttling them off to the garage. Michael had apparently found the abandoned project and had finished it for him. The longer the trips he made away from Roswell were, the more involved the upgrades Michael made in his absence. He would need to prepare a cover story in case Forrest noticed the changes, a renovated bathroom went far beyond changing out bulbs in a light fixture.

He was getting closer to ending the sham relationship with Forrest, but he wasn’t there quite yet. His first night back in Roswell he had managed to steer Forrest away from his house and more importantly, his bed, but that was only a temporary reprieve. Tomorrow it would all begin again, playing the role of a grieving son looking to ‘understand’ his father, docilely following Forrest’s lead in ‘discovering’ the alien threat, letting the other man comfort him, but this time, that would all happen in front of Michael. 

Michael knocked on the half-open bathroom door to get his attention, before stepping inside carrying a bath towel. “Are you still alive in there?”

“I am, but I want to marry this shower,” and you, he finished silently. Michael looked pleased by the comment as he stood outside the glass doors, waiting patiently as Alex pulled himself up from the bench and carefully hopped toward him. As he drew closer, the proud expression changed to one of open hunger as Michael took in his nakedness, cataloging the changes on his body. Downtime while he had been away from Roswell had often been filled with trips to the gym, exercising to work through his frustration at the slow pace of developments regarding Deep Sky. Weight lifting and core training had kept his hands away from his phone when the desire to check in with Michael took hold.

There was only so many times he could pass off a call to Michael about his mail or paying a bill for his house.

Alex held out his hand for the towel, while Michael stared at him, his gaze almost physical as he lingered over the swells of muscle. He snapped his fingers at Michael to break the hypnosis.

At the sound, Michael blinked, but then avoided his hand to wrap the towel around Alex himself. Warmth from the soft linen enveloped Alex, a sign the towel was fresh from the drier. He closed his eyes under Michael’s safe hold, enjoying the blatant pampering as Michael gently patted Alex’s wet skin dry. “I don’t mind sharing you with the shower, especially if it means you’re not wearing clothes,” he murmured in Alex’s ear, nosing the lock of wet hair away.

Shivering under the ghost of Michael’s lips, Alex felt something start to knit and heal inside him, blanketed by more than just the towel. Love. Feeling more like himself, Alex teased Michael back, “You could have joined me.”

“It was tempting, very tempting, but then who would have made dinner if I had taken you up on that offer?” Michael tucked the towel around Alex, and then offered his arm as a support while Alex hopped toward the pile of folded sweats to wear. 

“I have a lot of appetites, Michael, food is barely in the top five. And I can eat later, after you leave,-” Alex held his clothes in his hand, not moving to get dressed just yet. 

“You can, but you won’t eat. As soon as I walk out that door, I know you’re going to park yourself in front of your computer and spend the rest of the night hacking, just like you’ve done nearly every night since this started.” Michael waited with a raised eyebrow for Alex to deny it. 

Caught by both the frustration that Michael was right and by the ticking clock in his head that counted down the end of this precious time together, Alex conceded. He pulled his sweatshirt down over his head grumpily, “I didn’t spend every night hacking.”

“Just the nights when you weren’t with Forrest Long.” Michael said it quietly, turning away to hang up the wet towel. 

Alex tucked his crutches under his arms, before reaching out to catch Michael’s shoulder. “Hey, it doesn’t mean anything, you know that, right? It’s just…friction.” He studied Michael’s face, worried that perhaps his patience with everything was wearing thin. 

Over the last year, as he moved deeper and deeper into the circle of men that made up Deep Sky, Michael had been his lifeline to his real identity. A voice on the line, late at night, warm and beloved, reminding Alex what was important and keeping him grounded. During the day, his resolve had felt less certain. He had forced himself to echo the words of Jesse Manes to curry favor, ducking his reflection in the mirror when the hateful words started to come easier and easier to him. Then there was the feeling he had, when he had to accept Forrest’s offers to visit him in Los Alamos, the way he had felt weirdly relieved to see a familiar face, even if it was someone he couldn’t trust. 

Hearing Michael’s voice led him back to himself, and then little by little, the updates were less mission-related and more personal. It had led them back to each other. By the second month, Michael had stopped dancing around things, admitting to Alex just how much he missed him and by the third month, Alex was slipping away to meet with him at half-way destinations to seal his words with actions.

It was reminiscent of his early days in the Air Force, finding Michael in out-of-the-way places where no one knew them. Back then, Alex had DADT and military physicals to dodge. Michael had to take care in leaving no marks on Alex’s body, while Alex had had no such restriction. Michael would leave those encounters, mauled with love bites and fucked thoroughly, while Alex stayed as pristine as his neatly pressed uniform. Eleven, twelve years on, the need for discretion had changed, from the military to Forrest Long. 

That was the elephant in the room. Alex was still having sex with Forrest, mostly when he couldn’t avoid it with a trip out of town, like when he accompanied Forrest to Deep Sky owned properties. It was just friction, putting his body in motion to do a job, much like he had when he had deployed abroad. He had lost any amount of shame for what he was doing to the other man after the first time, when he had found a detailed write-up about his own visit to the Long Farm that Forrest had filed and sent to the mysterious leader of Deep Sky.

“I know.” Michael replied, his smile weak but real as Alex brought him closer for a slow, thorough kiss. 

Alex inhaled the scent of rain into his nose as Michael melted in his arms and the kiss deepened between them. This was the opposite of friction, as they slid easily together in the doorway of the bathroom, until Alex’s stomach betrayed him thoroughly and growled. Michael broke away with a laugh, and Alex noted with relief that his earlier fragility had completely vanished from his eyes, as he headed toward the kitchen, “Come on, I made you your favorite for dinner, spicy tomato soup.”

“With strips of cheese toast?”

Michael looked offended at the question. “Of course.”

That was proof that Michael had been listening to him closely during their late night conversations, the way the subject migrated from business to the personal, until Alex had flat out whined over how terrible the food was at one of the Deep Sky outfits. “Forget looking for aliens, they should look for a new chef.”  And then they were off and running about comfort food, with Michael sharing his fondness for canned spaghettios, they tasted fine cold. Sharing his own fond memory from childhood of his mother making soup as a rare show of maternal care. Melted cheese dripped over cut up toast, then dipped in the tomato soup.

The clock was still ticking in his head, counting down the end of this brief interlude of happiness. Alex laid back on his couch with a tray of soup on his lap and tried to soak in every minute. The thrill of sharing a meal together, sitting side by side on his couch with the evening news droning on in the background. It was a type of domesticity that he never thought he had wanted until Michael. His thoughts turned away from the wholesome toward the carnal as he watched Michael pucker his lips together to blow on the steaming bowl. 

The food was delicious, but that was a distracting sight for anyone, let alone someone who knew just what Michael’s mouth was capable of doing. 

Michael flashed a wicked smile when he caught Alex staring, picking up his strip of toast to dip in his soup and then licked it indecently clean. The perfect bow of his mouth around his food, his tongue chasing his lips for every drop of spilled soup had Alex shifting on the couch. The production lasted until Michael hit a hot place in his bowl, squeaking in shock, sending Alex into a peal of laughter at the affronted look on his face.

“Fuck, that’s hot!”

“Yes it was.”

“Asshole, I meant the soup!”

Alex laughed long and hard, his head tipped back against the couch, and after a moment, Michael joined him. Tears came to his eyes, the laughter set off each time they looked at each other. There was a point, where Alex realized he couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed like that, at least not in the last year outside of talking to Michael on the phone. 

It was worth it. All of it. Infiltrating Deep Sky, spending half of his time around people who would cheerfully murder an alien, even using sex to get information, the price was not too steep to pay if it meant he could protect this moment, preserve it and repeat it forever. To see laugh lines around Michael’s mouth, instead of the press of fear, he would fuck the Devil himself if it meant Michael was safe.

He slowly sobered on the couch, his laughter gone at the thought of losing this. Michael placed their empty dishes in the kitchen and then drew Alex’s foot into his lap to rub. “I can practically see the gears turning now. Relax, okay? Watching the clock doesn’t help.”

“I know,” Alex agreed quietly, pressing his foot into Michael’s grip. “I’m feeling a little guilty here, with all this pampering.” 

Michael dug his thumbs into Alex’s instep, drawing a loud groan of appreciation as he worked on releasing the knots of stress. Too much time in combat boots, the calluses were thick and tough under Michael’s hands but he kept rubbing regardless. 

“If that guilt motivates you into taking better care of yourself-”

��I know, I am trying. But what about you?” Alex gestured toward Michael’s face with his own look of judgment, “are you sleeping enough? Eating enough?”

“I’m also trying. It will be better once this is over. Once you get to meet the head of Deep Sky, and hack him, we’ll both sleep better.”

“If it’s ever over. I’m starting to think the leader of Deep Sky is like the Dread Pirate Roberts.”

Instead of pulling on the threads of pessimism, Michael tugged on Alex’s ankle as he crawled closer to him on the couch. As a subject change, it was a welcome one to Alex. Why dwell on the future, it was better to enjoy the present. Michael’s hands smoothed over the soft fleece of the sweatpants, sending a thrill of excitement through Alex. He slipped down on the seat to allow Michael room. 

“Is it okay to pamper you a little more?” Michael asked, his eyes dark as his fingers slipped inside the waistband of Alex’s sweats. He teased at the taut muscles, stroking his fingers over the soft rasp of hair trailing downward. 

“What did you have in mind?” 

“When’s the last time someone’s sucked this big dick of yours?”

There was a dark hint of teasing in Michael’s voice, he was daring Alex to say a name. Forrest’s name. It was the type of playful provocation they could use with each other now, safely, the result of their late night phone calls to each other. When time was valued, what was the point of secrets between them? 

Alex licked his lips absently, giving Michael a thorough head to toe look of consideration, before answering honestly, “It was in Santa Fe. At the Silver Saddle Motel. A very hot cowboy sucked me until I was hard, and then rode my dick all night long.” 

Michael blinked, not expecting that answer, but pinked in pleasure. “Oh…well then, you’ve been deprived because that was months ago.” He pulled down on Alex’s sweats, letting the band of elastic tuck neatly under his balls and sat back to admire the view. Alex shifted under his eyes, his cock straining upward as Michael bent his head down. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, he’s a short guy, all of this probably doesn’t fit in his mouth,” Michael commented, wrapping his palm around Alex’s cock firmly.

“Yeah,” Alex gasped, hitching up into Michael’s grip, “small mouth, it’s hard to even kiss, impossible to fuck-” His voice gave out as Michael licked the bead of pre-cum with tip of his tongue before stretching his mouth wide. There was a way that Michael approached cock-sucking that Alex could never get over. The look of hunger and that deep breath he always took, as if he had to hold himself back to keep from gorging himself on Alex’s cock. 

Alex had been deprived. Very deprived.

Slowly Michael slid his lips down on Alex’s cock, taking him deep into his mouth. His tongue, warm and firm, dragged downward. Alex cried out in pleasure, it felt so good, his hips rocking upward imperceptibly as his iron-strong control was rocked by Michael. He kept his eyes trained on Michael’s mouth, the reddening stretch of his lips wrapped tightly around his cock. Michael looked up, catching his eye and then bobbed his mouth downward.

Reaching downward, Alex placed his hand against Michael’s jaw and traced his thumb around the edge of his mouth. “So good, you take me so well, Michael.”

The praise had Michael blinking in pleasure before he redoubled his efforts in sucking. Alex gasped again, sinking deeper into Michael’s throat until his lips were kissing the sparse hair, down to the root. Fuck. He was ready to come already. Worse than the clock sweeping toward the end of the evening, was his body ready to end it now.

“Close, I’m gonna-” Alex warned, his hands going to Michael’s shoulders. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to pull Michael off of him, or keep Michael in place to feed him his cock in case he backed away as Alex teetered on the edge of orgasm. His grip clutched uselessly on him, but Michael showed no signs of stopping his efforts. 

Kicking at the couch cushion, he lost the fight to hold back, as he felt his cock hit the back of Michael’s throat. There was a tightening around him, throat muscles working hard to swallow, and then Michael wrapped his hand back around the base of Alex’s cock to stroke him in time with his sucking. His free hand gently squeezed Alex, before rubbing a knuckle along the seam of his balls to his perineum. The outside touch against his prostate was enough to have Alex coming hard down Michael’s throat.

God it was so good. Michael knew every place to touch him. He knew to keep his mouth on Alex as he came, swallowing his release sloppily, until come and saliva leaked from his lips. It was over far too fast, but Michael held on until Alex felt the tears of overstimulation burn in his eyes. Slowly Michael softened his lips, letting Alex’s spent cock slip lazily from his messy mouth and then met Alex’s gaze with a knowing glint.

Michael knew exactly how depraved he looked. 

It was too soon to get hard again, but Alex felt the twinge of it as he stared at Michael. His hands were greedy, cupping Michael’s face between them before wiping up the spill from Michael’s lips with his thumb. Two could play at that game, he thought as he brought it to his mouth. 

“Fuck,” Michael swore softly, “Look at you, tasting yourself.”

“I’d rather taste you,” Alex patted the couch he was laying down on and straightened his disheveled sweatpants. “Take off those jeans and wrap those great thighs of yours around my head and let me suck you.”

“Actually, I’d rather take you to bed.”

Alex glanced at the clock behind Michael. It was close to midnight. He knew based on experience that Forrest would be by in the morning with coffee, before Alex was fully awake. It was a transparent way of trying to catch him off guard, to see if Alex would slip up with news about Michael, or any other alien. After every short trip back to Roswell, the other man had made sure to find an excuse to be in Alex’s house. 

“I know I can’t stay, but I don’t want to leave.”

“I never want you to leave either.” Alex chewed on his lower lip, as Michael waited. Sensing his advantage, he tilted his head seductively, spilling his curls over one eye and then made a transparent pleading face at Alex. Laughing, Alex conceded, “Okay, okay, you can stay for a little while. Help me to bed, and set an alarm.”

*** 

[andilovetowrite]

Chosen Couple (Part 3)

Peter Parker x Reader (The reader is an Avenger)

Summary- Peter and you have a movie night to celebrate the school year ending, but the night takes an unexpected turn. Suddenly, you wish you had never even gone to Peter’s house in the first place.

Warnings- Pretty bad angst, but then again, it’s my first time writing it, so I am open to comments and suggestions on how to improve it.

Posted: April 26, 2021

Word Count- 2.3k

Part 1 and Part 2

Feeling your face heat up, you read the card again and again. Could it be for you? Could Peter like you back? But you got your answer quite quickly.

“What are you doing?!” Peter asked, dashing to you, webbing the box shut.

“Uh, just checking out what was in the box…” you said, crossing your fingers behind your back. “Who’s it for Peter?”

He stared at you, and for a second, you thought he was going to say your name, tell you that he liked you back, tell you that he wanted to be more than friends. But it all went down the drain, and your heart sunk to your stomach when he blurted out. “MJ!”

“MJ?” you asked, feeling pieces of your heart tear into two. Peter looked shocked at what he said, eyebrows furrowed at the slight shake in your voice. But he couldn’t take it back now, could he?

“Y-yeah...uh, I.. um, like MJ, and I told Mr Stark the other day, and he helped me buy these things for yo-her”, he said, stuttering lightly. Maybe if you had paid attention, you would have seen the slight look of desperation on his face, but you were too busy trying to keep a neutral face.

“You told Tony before you told me?” you asked randomly, trying to mask the pain in your voice.

Again, Peter looked crestfallen, looking at the ground before nodding. “You know, because MJ is your best friend, and I thought that if you knew, you might tell her and she might reject me before I even could tell her how I feel” As Peter went on with the sentence, you could see his eyes start to shine a bit, and the small ball in your throat started to grow bigger, almost choking you.

You could feel a slight tingling in your stomach and hands, meaning your powers were beginning to become stronger. It usually happened when you were angry, but now, it made sense that it showed up whenever strong feelings were blowing up your mind. Numbly nodding, you picked up the beautiful copy of the book he had gotten her, now understanding.

You weren’t the only one who liked the book. MJ loved it as well. A couple of weeks ago, you two were chatting about it in the cafeteria, laughing and joking around, and then Peter had shown up, pulling you aside to ask you what was the title of the book that had you enamoured. Well, which had MJ enchanted. Putting it back down, you gulped, forcing a smile on your face. The air was uncomfortable for a couple of minutes, neither of you saying anything. Peter kept staring at the ground while you were blinking rapidly, trying to have a weak attempt at keeping the flow of tears threatening to burst out. Just as you were about to leave from the high tension, open the door and leave, the lights flickered back one by one, the TV’s sounds filling the room again.

“Um, do you want to finish movie night?” Peter’s voice asked from behind you, making you hesitate. You had two choices. You could either go home and cry under the comfort of your bed and then rant to Nat and Wanda about your conundrum, or you could suck it up and endure few more hours of torture, knowing that the last four years of your life spent on loving you best friend would be in vain…. See, you had never taken the easy way out in anything.

So you nodded at him, not saying a word as you slowly walked back to the sofa where you were just about to confess your feelings. Not even touching the blanket, on you and Peter earlier, you pulled your feet up, hugging your knees. Peter sat from across you, reaching out his hand as he might touch you but then pulling it back. You could hardly pay attention to the movie, which was probably the sixth one.

Instead, you focused on the clock, watching the minutes tick by slowly. Second by second. You knew him long enough to see that he wasn’t paying attention either. Any time you spared him a glance, he seemed far away, glassy-eyed and lost in thought. Just as the movie was ending, Peter asked out loud, his voice sharp and brittle.

“Why are you so weird?”

Looking at him properly for the first time since you opened the box, you were speechless. Why were you weird? Maybe because you thought you and Peter were close enough to share little things like crushes. Maybe you were mad that he could trust you with his life on the battlefield but not with his high school crush. Maybe you were furious that he went to Tony for help. Maybe because you thought that he and you were closer than him and Tony. Maybe because you were angry that he couldn’t just suck it up and tell you that he liked MJ. Perhaps because you liked him like he liked MJ, and just maybe because you thought that he wanted you like he liked MJ...

But you couldn’t tell that to him, so you just said back in an emotionless voice. “I’m not weird at all. Why do you think I’m weird?”

Not expecting you to beat around the bush, he answered back, hints of a frown showing up on his face. “Well, you haven’t said anything since I told you I liked MJ. Do you have some type of problem with her?” As soon as he finished, his face contorted into a frown as if he was in pain.

Shocked that he would even ask that, you shot back. “I don’t have any problem with MJ. Hell, she is my best friend. I just want to know why you didn’t tell me about this simple secret?”

He spat, answering me back as he stood up, towering over me. “What’s your problem?! Just cause I don’t tell you about my crush? Oh, and by the way, it’s not a simple little secret. I’ve loved her for years!” His jaw clenched lightly, slowly looking you in the eyes.

Shaking your head, you stood up, now standing the same height as him. “I’m don’t have a problem with anything. I just thought that you- uh…-”, gulping softly, you gaped at him, “Peter, why are you acting like this?”

Breathing heavily now, he glared at you, hate in his eyes, mixed with something you couldn’t make out. “Why are you acting like my mother Y/N?!”

“What the hell Parker? I could’ve helped you out. We’ve always done these things together”, you said, pushing out the words. Your stomach twisted as you said you would help him, curling with envy and jealously towards MJ.

“Oh yeah? Like how you asked for my help with Brad?”

Exasperated, you threw your hands up, light lavender light starting to show from your fingertips. “What is it with you and Brad? He’s a great guy!”

“Uh-huh, and that’s why you thanked me for launching you out of that problematic date of yours, right?”

Starting to feel tired and feeling the weight of your fight beginning to fall on you, you just gazed at him, trying to figure out why his face was red. “Is it because of the movie? Or the exams?”

“Y/N, I don’t know why you can’t just-”, going to sighed, hands running through his curls. The only time you had seen him this broken was when Tony had taken away his suit and when you came with him to find the Vulture. You took a deep breath, moving back from the couch. This was the first time you and Peter had ever fought on something so minute. So irrelevant. Something so damn hard to swallow for you. Peter clicked his tongue and then called out, fire laced in his words.

“Well, maybe it is because of the movie. You keep saying that you like Harry and have spent your whole life loving him as a... character, but now, judging from your glances at the screen, Ron’s the one you want, don’t you?”His eyes narrowed into tiny slits as he spoke.

“Oh yeah, and why’s that?” you asked accusingly, folding your arms over your chest.

“I don’t know? Maybe because you just have bad taste in men!” he said, sneering at you. Not once, ever in the six years you had known Peter did you see him sneer at you. But this only fueled the anger deep within your chest.

“Well, in that case, you probably don’t even like Hermione so much. You would like someone like Ginny Weasley! You tried to stop, but you couldn’t as you went on, airing all of your problems out.

“Oh wait, and your right, I do like Ron better. It’s because Ron is tall and cute, part of sports teams and oh yeah, he gets all the girls. He has experience with a girl, and I think that’s what makes him more interesting than Harry!” you said, knowing that the topic had gone off the movie long ago.

Peter almost looked hurt for a couple of seconds as you spoke of ‘Ron’, but then he clenched his jaw, face hardening. “Well, your right then! Ginny is the perfect girl. I mean, her life is smooth and secure, with family and friends surrounding her. Not like Hermione, whose parents don’t even care about her, let alone anyone else.”

As soon as Peter finished, you could feel the anger draining out of you, replaced by a blinding pain in your chest. You could see Peter’s eyes widen in realisation, softening apologetically. Letting out a long breath, you stood up, not wanting to let him see the tears welling in your eyes. “Why would you say that?”, You asked as you let out all the pent up energy, stress and emotions you had been holding in for the evening in one go. Picking up your phone, you began walking to the door, ignoring Peter’s calls behind you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry!” Peter said, calling out, his voice cracking towards the end. Gritting your teeth, you kept going. You were taught from a young age never to cry in public. You had kind of let that go with Peter, though. He was your best friend. You two used to talk about many things, about school, movies, family, friends. You had comforted Peter every year when his parent’s death anniversary came around. He was a shoulder to cry on when being an Avenger became just too much for you. But you had never cried because of Peter. Never but none because of your fight.

Oh, and coincidentally, that little piece of advice was given by your parents. Your parents who...left you. Almost forgot about you. Feeling a fresh new set of emotions burst through your mouth. Whirling backwards, you stared at Peter. He was standing in the middle of the hallway, almost hunched over under your vision. He glanced up at you, eyes bloodshot. “I’m sorry”, he whispered helplessly.

Dark purple light started emerging from you, making your hair stand up. You could feel your heartbeat get faster as you pushed out every last bit of hatred you could muster. Peter’s face was now reflecting the violet light, lip quivering ever so slightly.

“Why would you use my parents? You know how I-” Feeling a sob jump out of your throat, you collapsed on the floor, the purple ring around you flashing out before the apartment became as dark as before. Just as you fell, you felt Peter run over to you; arm’s circling you. You could feel his hair tickling your neck as he bought you closer.

“I didn’t mean it. Please…”, Peter said, holding you tight as his embrace. Wondering if you should push him back, you couldn’t be bothered. Instead, you hugged him back, letting yourself melt into him. You don’t know how long you stayed in that position, huddled near the door, both you and Peter trying to figure things out.

But at some point, when you were sure that you could stand up without becoming a bumbling mess of tears, you pulled away. Peter looked at you, eyes rimmed with red, cheeks puffy with his curls a mess. Sniffing, you stand up, not saying anything as you turn away, opening the door softly and looking back at him, your gaze diverting to the black box.

“Go give it to her Pete. I’m sure she would love it.”

And with that, you walked out the door, into the dark night, rain pelting on your head, but truthfully, you couldn’t care less at this point.

Damn, and I thought this would be a fun, fluffy piece, but it turned into something a bit more… Well, anyway, let’s see what happens next. Will Peter give MJ the box? Will Y/N ever even talk to Peter and MJ? Check it out in a few days when I put out the next part. Also, if you made it this far, maybe follow me to see some more short series and stories about our favourite spider boy :)

Part 1 and Part 2

Part 4