#but which has apparently won a few awards

[gabelish]

When scientists in a specific field give recommendations for reasonably accurate fiction pertaining to their field of study that they read and enjoyed themselves: 💛

[carcarrot]

i lied i did watch the oscars

[mrscarmenbearzatto]

yours, cb. | carmen berzatto

summary: carmen writes a letter to you the day before he proposes, reflecting on your relationship.

wc: 1.02k | navigation post

rating: fluff, none! content warnings: none! if any need to be added lmk but as far as i know there are none:-)

“The first time I met you, I was so damn nervous. Richie told me you were back in town and I thought I was convinced that my first time meeting you, I’d screw it up somehow. Jumble all my words, forget my name. I almost did the first time I saw you. That night in the restaraunt with the only light on being one over a table by the fogged up windows. You still look so pretty under that light, you look pretty under anything. Richie told me, ‘she’s sweet’. Sweet doesn’t begin to describe you, angel. My angel.”

"Everything about you was.. so enchanting. I thought you were the prettiest girl I'd ever met. I never thought people could geniuenly fall in love at first sight, but with you, I realize what they're talking about when they say they laid eyes on their partner and they knew. From the moment I saw you I knew you were meant to be mine. And I yours."

You sat in your shared bedroom, your laptop in your lap as you scrolled through the numerous recipes Sydney had sent to you to review for the menu, since apparently you were hired as taste-tester. "What the hell is that?" You murmur to yourself as you stare at one of the dishes.

The front door opens and then swiftly closes, as you can hear footsteps approaching. You close your laptop just as Carmen appears a second later, practically jumping into your arms, laying his head on your chest. "Hi, bear. You okay?" You ask.

He lets out a soft "mm" as you begin running your hand through disheveled curls. "Just thought about you all day. Wanted to be here. That okay?" He checks, lifting his hand. You place a kiss on his head. "Carm, anytime you need, I'm here."

There's that grin again. There's that spike in his heartbeat when he looks at you, when he talks to you. The way he can feel himself falling deeper into love with you, no matter how long you've been together. There's a comfort in that, almost.

───

"The first time I kissed you, you may not have realized this (or you did any you're just too sweet not to say anything which totally sounds like you, babe) but I think my hands would have won an award for being the sweatiest palms, ever. You know when people say they feel fireworks when they kiss the person they love? I always thought they were being dramatic because until you, I hadn't felt that. But now I know what exactly they mean."

When Carmen wakes up and he realizes that you aren't there, he frowns. His favorite thing to do in the mornings when he wakes up before you do - which happens often - is to kiss you on the cheek and snuggle you for a few minutes before he has to pull himself away.

It isn't until he hears you humming down the hallway making your way back in that he smiles, sitting up to greet you. You come in, two mugs of coffee in hand. "Oh, hey, you're awake." You say, setting the mug down on his nightstand, kissing him before slipping back into your side of the bed, setting your coffee down.

Your phone buzzes in between you both, causing you to look down as your lock screen lights up with texts from Nat. "Am I your lockscreen?" He asks, recognizing the photo in the back. You smile at him, nodding. "Of course you are. You're my favorite person, Carm, why wouldn't you be?"

"And then our first date. The night I almost burned my apartment down because I was staring at you while the food cooked. How is it possible since that day you've gotten prettier? Well, I know the answer, it's because naturally you're gorgeous anyway. But each time I stare at you, it takes me back to that night in my apartment. Our apartment, we just had no idea it would become that then."

He kissed you right then, making you forget about Nat blowing up your phone. "You're my favorite person, too." He whispers against your lips as you smile, kissing him again.

───

"It's weird to think about, you know? How I'm going to propose to you tomorrow, and I'm writing this on old notebook paper, and you have no clue. Maybe it's silly of me to be writing this, it'll probably be some forgotten piece of paper. Or I'll read this to our future kids, if we ever have any, and tell them what I thought of their mom the first time I saw her: I was starstruck."

He looks over at you where you sleep, your arms wrapped around his torso where he sits up. He tries to keep still as he writes, not moving too much. He leans down, placing a kiss on the crown of your head.

"I can't wait to ask you to marry me tomorrow. To tell you everything I need to tell you, to ask you to be mine forever until death do us part. Mikey once learned Irish wedding vows (because of course he did), and I think it says what I can't. May you never steal, lie or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life. And if you must cheat, then please cheat death, because I couldn't live a day without you."

His mind races with every memory he's shared with you. Looking around the bedroom you two share and have had so many laughs, tears and more in. The idea that he - a boy from Chicago with family issues who thinks he's an unlovable psycho - gets to marry you? Share a life with you, and maybe get to be the father of your children?

You're the one for him.

And for the rest of your lives, he doesn't know what he wants to be. But as for as long as you'd have him, he has an idea of what he wants to be.

"Yours, CB."

˙ ✩°˖🌸 ⋆｡˚꩜

thank you for reading! please feel free to engage with this post by reblogging, commenting or sliding into my inbox to leave feedback! i appreciate all of you! check out my nav post here for more fanfics!

- mae:)

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆

mae’s loves:

@wabi-sabi1090

@harrysmatcha

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@urdreamgirl12

@readingwithsass

@angelicflower2020

@wadupppp

to join my taglist please reply to this post asking to be added! <3

[tomsvouge]

Call it what you want

Summary- You and Joe attend his Heisman ceremony. What you don’t know is that Joe has something up his sleeve for after the ceremony. Warnings: Fluff, References of sex

Being friends with Joe was a reward in itself, but seeing him achieve a goal of a lifetime is worth more than any award there is.

Getting ready in the hotel room in New York City was not on your bucket list for 2019 but hey I was not complaining. Joe was up for the heisman trophy and you could not be more proud of him. Knowing what he has endured up to this moment would make anyone have nothing but respect for him.

Joe and I have been friends since middle school. All I remember is a shy kid hesitant to find a seat somewhere. Calling him over to sit next to me was the best decision I have ever made. Although what I didn't know was I was going to be falling for him as the years went on. each day that went by I always noticed something new about him, like the way he gets all giggly when talking about things he loves, or when he gets tuned vision when he is really really focused on something.

Having these feelings for Joe meant that every little thing made me jealous. Like when girls fond over him or when girls literally come up to him and flirt with him. Before my thoughts took over me I got pulled out by Joe calling my name.

"Y/n!"-Joe

"yea what's up"- you say sitting down the makeup brush.

"Which tie should I pick?"- Joe says holding up two purple ties that look almost identical

"Go with the one without the gold it kinda washes you out"- You say taking the tie from him to put it on him while he laughs at your remark.

"Can't even catch a break on my day huh?"- Joe says shaking his head laughing.

"Hey just because your winning an award doesn't change the fact that your still easy to make fun of."- You say while fixing him up so he looks put together.

"There you go. Nice and proper."- you walking back to finish your makeup

"Thanks and I haven't won anything yet, I'm just a nominee."-Joe says following you and sitting down on the bed next to the vanity watching you apply the finishing touches.

"Oh c'mon, Joe we all know you have this award in the bag. You have had heck of a season and most of all you deserve it more than anyone."- you say turning to him and grabbing his hands.

"Everyone believes in you Joe not just your family. You pretty much have the whole state of Louisiana supporting you tonight as you are their adopted son apparently."-you say as Joe looks up and laughs at the adoption joke.

"Thank you y/n. You always know how to bring my confidence back up."- Joe says looking at you with a little glimmer in his eyes.

"Oh! also can you help me zip up my dress?"-you ask standing up and turning around so my back faces him.

"Yea sure."-Joe says slowly zipping the dress up.

"There. And thank you for always being there, it means a lot."-Joe says while you turn around to look at him.

When turning around you had no idea how close you actually were to Joe, so close that your chest was literal centimeters away from his.

Looking into Joe's eyes gave you a wash of euphoria. Something hat only his can do, and he felt the same way about yours. Every stolen glance he takes at you when you aren't looking and every little gesture he does to show that he cares.

As you guys stared into each others eyes, it was cut short by Robin and Jimmy clearing their throats.

"Time to go guys!"- Robin says as she looks at us smirking.

"Yea okay."- we both say at the same time while they leave the room.

"Wait! Joe before we go gets take a picture."-You say opening the camera app and taking the picture,

"okay lets go y/n, this could turn into a whole photoshoot with you."-joe says laughing and guiding me to the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking into the ceremony felt unreal. Before it started we talked to a couple of joes coaches and other nominees.

A few minutes into small taking we were told the ceremony would be broadcasting in a ew minutes and we had to take our seats. before I went to my seat I decided to give Joe some more words of encouragement.

"Hey Joe just remember what I told you in the hotel room, you have all the support in the world right now, win or lose we're so so proud of you."-you say as he was staring u at you with admiration in his eyes.

"Thank you y/n."- He says with a tight lipped smile.

I could tell he was nervous. Joe only smiled like that when he was nervous or when he wanted out of a situation and didn't want to make it awkward.

As I'm walking back to my seat I couldn't help but over hear one of the nominees say that Joe had a good one. Before I could hear joes response people were starting to scramble to their seats for it to start.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He did it. He won the Heisman for LSU.

As walks up to his family section he hugs each of us. When he gets to me he says something unexpected.

"I love you.."- Joe says as he hugs you and moves on to his dad.

He just told me he loves me. We have said this to each other before but something about this time felt different.

As Joe walks up to give his speech all I could do is tear up. This boy has been through so much and has been knocked down so many times and the is finally proving all those people wrong who ever doubted him in his life.

But one thing that I did not expect to see was Joe cry. I have only seen Joe cry a few times, so little that I could count on one hand. This had really meant a lot to him and you couldn't be any prouder of him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the ceremony and the walk in Times Square, Joe and I decided to head back to our room to celebrate the win by watching movies and drinking some champagne.

The second the door closed I tackled Joe in a hug to the point where he fell back on the bed. Laughing he quickly turned us over on the be. As quickly as he turned us over he jumped off of me.

"Sorry I don't know what I was thinking doing that"- Joe said as he starts to take off his shoes.

"Its fine, You did nothing wrong."- you said

"Im gonna go take a shower right quick, okay?"- you said walking over to the bathroom.

"Okay I'm going to my parents room to do the same."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting in the bed with Joe you had laughs and mini tickle fights. But as the night went on you had not idea what was about to happen.

"Okay so now that this movie is over I would like to show you a very important video."-joe says grabbing his computer.

"It's not a sex tape is it?"- you say with semi seriousness.

"No no not even close!"-Joe says laughing at you.

"Oh okay."- you say getting comfortable to see what his is about to show you.

"okay, watch"- Joe says starting the video.

The video consisted of memories of me and Joe from when we first met to literally a few hours ago.

"Joe that was so sweet, but why?"-you say looking at him.

"Y/n, you have been in my life since I can remember. Not a single bad memory with you, if anything you make the bad memories seen not so bad. You have been there for me through the really highs but you have also been there for me when I've hit rock bottom. You make me a better person and I'm grateful to have you as a best friend. And I know this might sound weird but I really don't want to be friends with you anymore. I want to be more than friends. So, with that Will you be my girlfriend?"- Joe says as you have tears in your eyes.

Joe... You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that sentence to me."-I say hugging him like my like depended on it.

"So I'll take that as a yes?"- Joe says

"Yes Joe i'll be your girlfriend."- I say leaning in to kiss his lips.

Right as our lips are about to touch Joe pulls away leaving me confused.

"What's wrong?"- You ask looking at him.

"Nothing, but before I forget I have to give you something."- Joe says reaching into the nightstand.

"Here."- he hands me the box

"Joe you didn't have to get me anything."

"Just open the box baby"

I open the box and see a pendant necklace with a "J" on it.

"joey... Its beautiful."

"Just like you. I wanted you to have it even when we are not physically with each other. Look inside."

I look inside and see a photo of me and Joe on the day we met and and an empty side. "What's this side for?"- I say referring to the empty side.

"It's for you to fill, I want you to fill it with your favorite memory of us. I doesn't have to be right now. You don't even have to tell me. just do it when you're ready."- Joe says as I nod.

"Can you put it on me?"-You say turning round.

"Ofc."- He says putting the necklace on me.

"oh and Joe?"

"Yea?"

"I love you too."- I say smiling.

Little did Joe know you filled that empty spot years later with the photo of you him and your baby boy the day you gave birth.

The first pic of the new year!!! Also the start of the Taylor imagines. If you have any recommendations let me know. <3

[karalynlovescake]

THE CENTENNIAL HUSBANDS 2024 BIG BANG IS LIVE!

You can read my fic on Ao3 - Entropy and Optimism, rated T, 56k words, complete at 13 chapters.

Hob Gadling is offered immortality by Death in 1389 and he meets with her every 100 years. In his dreams, he befriends and grows close with a man who he knows is Death's brother, but who never gave Hob his name. After a disaster in the late 1700's ties him even closer to Death, Hob sees his Stranger less and less, and believes his choices are to blame. Meanwhile, exhausted by seeing Death everywhere he goes and heartsick over losing his relationship with her brother, in 1889 he tells her that while he still wishes to live, he does not want to see her again.

Hob goes over a hundred years with no word from either of them, until one day two women with two talking ravens show up and tell him that his friend desperately needs his help. He embarks on the quest, hoping to once again see his mysterious Stranger, who he learns must be the King of Dreams. But when he arrives in the Dreaming he finds two people he has never met ruling, his friend asleep as if under a spell, and the kingdom falling apart around them, with the legions of Hell trying to invade.

And check out the art from my amazing artist Koresephone !!!

@koresephone66

The plot for this story started out as the plot of the novel Paladin of Souls by Lois McMaster Bujold, which is one of my favorite novels ever written. I consider it to be an absolute masterpiece of writing and plot weaving. It won a Hugo, a Nebula AND a Locus award for a REASON, and Ms Bujold is a far better writer than I am.

I had to change a lot of stuff to make the plot fit the setting and characters. So much stuff that I debated is it really even the same story anymore? Apparently very few people in the active fandom are familiar with the Bujold novel, which meant no one would see exactly what I was trying to do.

But it also meant that there was no one out there who was going to write this story if I didn't write it! This is the first novel-length story I've ever completed, and my first big bang, and honestly if you're going to borrow, borrow from the best of the best, right? I was already using Neil's characters, and I think I did a pretty good job!

I'd love to hear if you enjoy it!

[dweemeister]

Instant reactions to the 96th Academy Awards

A rough night for me. But there have been rougher ones before. I imagine most of my comments put me in a very lonely minority, as has been apparent the last few months.

But here goes:

For all intents and purposes, yours truly was on the Killers of the Flower Moon train. An extraordinary crime epic from Scorsese, with astounding craftsmanship and fantastic performance from Lily Gladstone. More than what I previously believed possible, a major studio production went out of its way to make sure that its Indigenous American representation on-screen was as genuine as it could possibly be (still imperfect, as the film acknowledges, but what an effort). And yet, KOTFM goes 0/10. I've never had a favored Best Picture nominee be shut out in such a way before. And I'm not surprised at all by it. It was clear that non-American and non-Canadian audiences didn't get the context to the film (a criticism I understand, given the screenplay) and, in other quarters, folks thought it was too long (I admittedly have a higher tolerance for longer movies) and others have said something akin to the fact that they are getting tired over "racial guilt" movies from America. I'm not in the mood to respond to the last one. I think it deserved better tonight. I particularly think Lily Gladstone deserved better tonight.

Stat upheld: two non-white actresses have never won on the same night in Oscar history. History, in and of itself, was always against Gladstone.

Oppenheimer winning? Fine, I guess. It was my #4 choice of the ten Best Picture nominees. I guess Christopher Nolan was overdue, but I have always been a Nolan skeptic. The film certainly is his most humanistic, and I appreciate that. As for the narrative organization and editing trickery? It mostly serves to take me out of the movie. And I don't think Nolan truly understands what thematic film music can accomplish for his movies. I think RDJ should have had much more competition all season long, but he did not. Most people are gonna say this is the return of the Academy's favorite subgenre... the Great Man Biopic. But in composition and structure, Oppenheimer (and even Maestro) resembles very little of the past Great Man Biopics. It'll be interesting to see how history treats this movie.

I disliked Poor Things. I didn't care for its sense of humor, didn't agree with many folks' opinions that it was a magnum opus of female empowerment. I thought it was incredibly male gaze-y and troublingly sanitized its scenes of sex work. Jerskin Fendrix's score was unlistenable outside the context of the film and distracting within it. But it has four Academy Awards and people love this movie, so my opinion can go to heck?

Well done Da'Vine Joy Randolph for her win as Supporting Actress for The Holdovers. I truly hope this opens up a lot more new opportunities for her going for! Wonderful speech.

And speaking of wonderful speeches, both documentary winners got me very emotional. The Last Repair Shop is on YouTube for American and Canadian viewers, and it's simply wonderful. Perhaps the happiest I was all night long! And then came Mstyslav Chernov's speech after winning for 20 Days in Mariupol. Chernov had, arguably, the speech of the night. And I agree with him. I, too, wish he never had to make his film and that he never won this Oscar. But he did his job to document what happened in Mariupol. And for that he (and the Ukrainians suffering and dying in their war versus Russia) deserves our plaudits and support.

Once more, Hayao Miyazaki cannot be bothered to show up to an awards ceremony. It's hilarious! I would have voted Robot Dreams, but The Boy and the Heron is not a winner to sniff at. Spider-Verse will have one more shot.... whenever the third movie comes out?

Good lord, they selected the worst possible winner in Animated Short with War Is Over!. There's an unwritten rule that the Academy, among the fifteen nominated shorts, must select one which will piss me the hell off. And for the second straight year in Animated Short, they have done exactly that, choosing something akin to a soft drink commercial.

Billie Eilish and Finneas are now the youngest and second-youngest ever to win two Oscars, after Luise Rainer (Best Actress for 1936's The Great Ziegfeld and 1937's The Good Earth). That feels very, very weird. In both cases of this record.

The "I'm Just Ken" performance? Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (Like Ken)??? Busby Berkeley choreography? What do the kids say? Inject that straight into my veins? It was wonderful.

And speaking of nods to cinema history, I'm so glad they led off the stunt performers tribute with Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, and Harold Lloyd. :,)

And congratulations to Godzilla Minus One and its Best Visual Effects win! After seventy years, Godzilla is now an Oscar-winning franchise, and its win percentage is 100%! Simply wonderful!

I think the moral of the story is that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) has been gradually internationalizing over the last decade. And the results of that were very clear tonight. Does that mean I'm too provincial in my tastes? I don't know. But wins such as Emma Stone's, Anatomy of a Fall, The Boy and the Heron, and Godzilla are demonstrative of that.

I'm glad this season is over. I certainly hope that Killers of the Flower Moon will be looked upon more kindly by history and time, without the bells and whistles of awards campaigning and a fuller understanding of why it was made the way it was.

This month has been fun! But now it's time to see movies again without the lens of awards for a long, long while.

[rhyselinn]

In Defense of Toby Fox’s Halloween Hack

Twitter is all in a tizzy about the Halloween Hack as of late. The apparent reason for this is because the Halloween Hack uses a word commonly used as a homophobic slur, not taking into account that the hack was created in 2008 (when the internet was a different place) and that 2008 was 14+ years ago (and people are known to grow and change over this time). There appears to be some amount of discussion over whether Toby Fox should be “cancelled” for this.

I’ve seen a fair bit of banter from both sides on this, but what I haven’t seen people on the internet talk about is the CONTEXT of the game in which this word is used. And while I don’t spend a lot of time talking about HH due to Toby’s stated embarrassment when people draw attention to it, if the internet’s gonna go dig up old drama for some reason, then by golly, I’m going to go dig up my old love for this game.

So if you want to come take a wild ride through some internet history and literary analysis, then go buckle your seatbelt and click the Readmore.

(content warning: discussion of homophobic slurs)

A quick bit about me: I am an adult on the internet, and I fall into the original Halloween Hack (hereafter abbreviated as HH)’s target demographic: teenagers who existed on Starmen.net, an Earthbound fan website, in 2008. I am also a current admin for Starmen.net, which puts me in a good position to comment on the history and culture of the site as a whole, and how that ties into the reception of HH.

Starmen.net has a long and rich tradition of events called Funfests, in which the site staff run a combination art/writing/music/etc contest for the site members, usually coalescing around a theme such as “Earthbound”, or sometimes “Winter” or “Halloween”. These events offer prizes such as forum avatar/rank privileges, and historically they sometimes even offered physical prizes. The 2008 Halloween funfest had an entire website made for it, which you can view here. Toby Fox submitted HH to this 2008 Halloween Funfest under the internet handle Radiation.

This is the context of HH: a passion project made by a teenager for a fan website full of other teenagers/twenty-somethings. If you go to a high school science fair, you could rightfully lambast every project for being undeserving of a Nobel Prize, but that’s not why we host high school science fairs OR Starmen.net Funfests. These events are an opportunity for teens to show what they are capable of and receive commendation from both their peers and a panel of judges selected specifically for this age demographic and venue.

For perspective, here’s what one of the hosts of the 2008 Funfest had to say about HH:

“Radiation nearly outclassed himself with this effort of skill labour and love. What a lot of fun. Despite getting repeatedly killed in the sewers this was one thoroughly enjoyabe hack. I Think I’ll go and play it again!”

HH won an award in the 2008 funfest-- a #1 in the “Most Effort” category. For some perspective, few people on Starmen.net go to the lengths of creating an entire game for a Funfest (and HH has a playtime of roughly 5-6 hours!). Of those who do, most of the resulting games are consistent with the output you would expect from a teenage userbase, since it’s not fair to expect teenagers to produce professional-quality work. That said, I can say with confidence that HH is a standout in the areas of both effort and quality.

Another thing that needs to be said of HH is that it is not a standalone game made in today’s modern game engines-- it is a hack of a preexisting game. Earthbound's codebase is notoriously complicated, and a lot of the tools that modern Earthbound hackers use to make their jobs easier (eg Coilsnake, Ebmused) didn’t exist in 2008. Toby had to do a lot of manual coding grunt-work to make HH, up to and including manually typing hexadecimal values into his computer in order to compose Megalovania. (Source: Toby wrote a really in-depth post about the process he used to make HH way back when, which I’m referring to here, but it’s unfortunately been deleted since then.)

I can imagine a hypothetical objection at this point: “ok but high effort homophobia is still homophobia”. In this post, I am also going to argue that Toby’s usage of this word can be considered artistic merit when taken in context, but you’ll have to bear with me for a bit while I explain that context. I’ll also talk about some of the cool and neat things this game does along the way because I think they’re worth talking about.

HH is, at its core, a derivative fan work of the video game Earthbound. And while I love Earthbound deeply, I also recognize that it’s a cult classic that not everyone has played. So while I encourage people to play the game I love deeply, I’ll also sum up a few relevant plot beats here so folks can understand the source material HH draws from:

--Ness, a thirteen year-old boy, meets a creature named Buzz Buzz from ten years in the future who tells him that an alien named Giygas has destroyed the world (direct quote: “All is devastation”). As such, Ness and his friends must save the world.

--One of Ness’s friends is a shy boy named Jeff with a penchant for shooting bottle rockets at enemies

--Jeff’s dad is an odd character named Dr. Andonuts. Dr. Andonuts is a reclusive scientist who lives in a snowy region called Winters who sent his son off to boarding school at a very young age. Andonuts’s lab includes no other signs of life, certainly not any indications of a wife/Jeff’s mother. Andonuts ends his conversation with Jeff by saying “Let’s get together in another ten years or so.”

--Towards the end of the game, Dr. Andonuts uses a device he created called a Phase Distorter to send Ness and his friends to the venue for the final battle. This is very clearly telegraphed as a one-way trip, as the kids’ brains are described in text as needing to be transplanted into robots to get there, but the kids go along with it anyway because the world is at stake.

--The kids go on to fight the final boss in a spectacle that words can’t do justice to here. All I’ll say is that after a long-fought battle, in the grace of an unexplained Deus Ex Machina, the souls of the four kids are impossibly returned to their bodies so they can enjoy their happy ending.

These are all canonical events that happen in the base game of Earthbound. Earthbound’s sequel, Mother 3, was released in 2006, two years prior to HH, although the English fan translation wasn’t released until around the time of the 2008 funfest, interestingly enough. Mother 3 does develop Dr. Andonuts’s canonical character somewhat, but I won’t discuss it in further detail here other than to say it mostly re-emphasizes his odd, solitary nature and his overly cavalier attitude towards his science experiments.

It’s also worth noting that in an oddball game like Earthbound, there are a lot of weird and funny idiosyncrasies to theorize on. There are pencil-shaped statues that block your way, which need to be removed with a device called a “pencil eraser.” Ness and his friends fight robots, aliens, and Krakens, but they also fight handbag-wielding ladies and walking mushrooms. Dr. Andonuts’s character oddities, while strange, fit nicely into the evenly distributed mesh of oddities that comprise Earthbound’s world.

Derivative works, particularly fan works, exist in conversation with the source material. They answer questions posed by the source, interpolate details left out of the original, and otherwise build on the world of the original in a collaborative way. This conversation sometimes happens in a one-on-one manner, between fan and original creator, but it also happens in conjunction with the fan community as a whole. When a theory takes traction, it will begin to appear in more and more fan works, growing in popularity and notoriety until it is “accepted” as the most common interpretation of canon’s strange idiosyncrasies. Newer or more fringe theories are less likely to be taken as a “default” interpretation, but they are more likely to be taken as “fresh” or “interesting” until/unless they, too, begin to gain traction.

HH exists in a few conversations: one with the source material, one with the fan community of Starmen.net (and the broader Earthbound community as a whole, although there was much more overlap between the two back in 2008), and one with Starmen.net’s Funfest culture. In order for HH to be well received by the Funfest judges, it would need to be aware of the community sensibilities as well as push the boundaries of the fan conversation with Earthbound as a whole-- a careful balancing act of being both interesting but also recognizable.

So, the fundamental fan question that HH tries to answer is “why is Dr. Andonuts LIKE THAT?”

This is an absolutely fair question, and Toby was certainly not the first to ask it, although his answer in the form of HH is one of the most high profile now.

HH is set in the world of Earthbound a few months after the final boss fight in autumn, but one where Ness and his friends did not magically return after their one-way trip to the final boss. Word has it that Dr. Andonuts has turned evil and must be defeated. On its surface, this is standard fare for a throwaway plot for a Funfest submission, but the magic of HH is that it does not treat this premise as a throwaway plot. It sets out to earnestly discuss why this happened by delving into Andonuts’s psyche.

Coming back to the idea of derivative works existing in conversation with the source material and interpolating unexplained details: Earthbound does not explain why Dr. Andonuts lives in solitude, nor does it give any hint as to the identity of Jeff’s mother. It also gives no indication as to why Andonuts didn’t seem to have bonded well with his son other than the handwavey explanation that Andonuts is just “like that”. HH initially poses the question of “why did Andonuts turn evil”, but leaves the reader to puzzle that out while battling monsters in Earthbound’s RPG engine.

At first, Toby offers a partial explanation: in HH, Dr. Andonuts is portrayed as feeling immense guilt at having sent his son into what he perceived as a death trap.  (quote from the game: “The world is dead, and I’ve become senile with guilt and rage.” He also says stuff like “what’s the point in living without them”.) As such, he turned evil and created zombies to storm the world of Winters, causing a surge in refugees and desperate survivors. This is why the main character was sent to kill him.

(image transcription: a picture of a menu with the text “What do you do!?” followed with a single option: “Kill him”)

But in order to see the depth of this explanation, the true answer to the question “why is Dr. Andonuts LIKE THIS”, the player must hit “B” to cancel out of a menu at the correct moment, something Earthbound players tend to learn by habit from closing the equipment menu so many times, but never used as a plot-relevant mechanic in the base game. HH takes this subconscious muscle memory and turns it into a mechanic gating off half the game if you don’t “spare” the enemy, a precursor to the “spare” mechanic that would debut seven years later in Undertale.

When the player does this, they enter Dr. Andonuts’s “Magicant,” a dream-construct representing his inner psyche, with his hopes and dreams and fears all laid bare. The main character is tasked with finding Dr. Andonuts’s lost Courage. In the base game, Ness enters his own Magicant, so this feels familiar to a veteran player, but it also gives Toby the chance to more closely examine Dr. Andonuts’s character than he otherwise might be able to do.

Over the course of the rest of the game in Dr. Andonuts’s Magicant, the player continues to control the main character, a bounty hunter named Varik, but the NPCs in the game often mistakenly treat Varik as Andonuts. The dialogue we see from these NPCs reflects memories from Andonuts’s own life. We see a lot more characters try to make connections with Dr. Andonuts (”hey don’t you want to play baseball instead of doing math?”), but these are apparently rebuffed througout Andonuts’s life. One NPC guarding the entrance to the path leading to this lost Courage advises “Be careful. Be yourself.” We see memories of Dr. Andonuts’s presumed wife/Jeff’s mom, who is an OC Toby created for this work to answer the questions posed by canon.

Varik is tasked with fighting three “demons” behind three doors, where each demon is said to be stronger than the next. Since this segment takes place inside Andonuts’s mind, these are unsubtly implied to be Andonuts’s inner demons. The second and third doors represent Andonuts’s relationship with his son and his guilt over getting people killed; the first door is relevant to this post, so I’ll talk about it in more detail. 

Inside the first door, Varik sees Andonuts’s memories of something called “Remember Me,” who despite being faced in a battle, is friendly and affectionate and causes no damage apart from being “hard to think about.” This enemy has a stock overworld sprite of a male NPC from the base game.

(image transcript: a smiling purple sprite in an Earthbound-style battle. The text box says “The Remember Me? was a little hard to think about again”)

At the end of this map, we see a cutscene in which it’s implied that Dr. Andonuts felt disconnected from his wife, perceiving her as an incessant insect. She says things like “Lately, you’ve been acting kind of... disinterested in me. Is there something wrong with me?” She asks if Dr. Andonuts has been hiding something from her, which triggers the following battle:

(image description: an Earthbound-esque battle against three enemies, each a sprite depicting a closeup of a man’s muscular body: a bicep, a chest, and a swimsuit-clothed groin area)

All three of these enemies are named NO. The music that plays in the background is deliberately unsettling, and their battle moves consist mostly of “flexing in a masculine way”, “slapping their buddies in a masculine fashion”, and “being hard to think about again”. After three turns, these enemies deliver a series of un-dodgeable moves that kill the player before it’s possible to defeat them, ending the game. The only way to proceed in the game is to select the Flee option in the menu.

To summarize the themes being presented here, Dr. Andonuts is gay and repressed his homosexuality to try to preserve his relationship with his wife due to his lack of courage. From a game design and literary merit standpoint, this NO battle is actually a really poignant way of portraying Andonuts’s mindset and all of the fears that kept him in the closet, portraying men’s bodies as an enemy that he must fight, or in failing to do so, must run from. Remember that Earthbound takes place in 199X-- none of the 1990′s were known for being especially tolerant of gay men, nor was 2008 when Toby made this hack; 2008 was the same year that California passed a bill intended to ban gay marriage. In another since-deleted web page, Toby said that one of his motivations for creating HH was “the lack of non-stereotypical, major homosexual characters in media”. With that in mind, this is a surprisingly sensitive portrayal of the pains of repressing one’s sexuality, especially from a teenager.

Toby also portrays some complexity in Andonuts’s relationship with his son Jeff, making the case that Andonuts helped Jeff in his fight against Giygas as a way of living vicariously through him to feel like less of a monster. From this standpoint, it’s easy to see that Andonuts’s abrasive language might be a defense mechanism for his own self esteem issues, calling others monsters to deflect from the fact he sees HIMSELF as a monster.

(image transcription: a screenshot of the main character fighting Andonuts from the end of the game. The text in the textbox from Andonuts says “you idiots. look at your decaying, frostbitten bodies”)

(and just as a side note, I think the reminiscence of this dialogue to Flowey’s dialogue in Undertale is funny and interesting)

Dr. Andonuts says the following: "If I can't live with myself, why should anybody else? Ergo, nobody will live. Then, everybody will understand all the pain I went through. When everyone understands me... They'll cherish me so." This isn’t the expression of a healthy mind, but it is a portrayal of someone who’s experiencing some serious pain. I’d also argue that it’s a nuanced and sympathetic portrayal of a character who is clearly in a crisis.

Another Andonuts quote: “you’re going to kill me, because that’s what a hero does. he has to kill that monster, right? even in this form, i am shaking with fear. i don’t want to die. leave me alone”

The second-to-last fight in the game is against an enemy called Id. In Freudian psychology, the Id is the representation of one’s most base desires, in contrast to the Superego who restrains a person from operating on these desires. The game up until this point does a good job at portraying Dr. Andonuts’s Superego-centric repression strategies, so getting to see his underlying base desires directly is a novel development. The enemy Id consistently reiterates a desire to be left alone and for the main character to not kill it. At the end, it apologizes for not being much of a fight. Only then does Varik fight Dr. Andonuts proper, and without the Id, all that’s left is the Superego-fueled repression, labeled in-game as “hatred”.

Andonuts’s villain monologue starts as such: “I know what this feeling is. It’s hatred for the person who came so far just to destroy an old man. My mind is gone. All that is left is pure hatred.

YOU SEE THIS BURNING, BLOODY UNIVERSE. YOU SEE THIS ULTIMATE, UNLIMITED POWER? Varik. I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOUR SHIT. you little fuckers are going to have your bodies ripped in half. i’ll shove your asses so far down your throats that when you crap, you’ll sing fucking beethoven.”

This monologue is the precursor to the infamous line:

(image transcript: a screenshot from the final battle, in which Andonuts says the words “tl;dr: eat shit, faggots”)

As established earlier, this is a line uttered by a gay character who is in a tremendous amount of pain, which would make it an act of slur reclamation. We could argue about whether Toby Fox is in a position to justify this usage, but I refuse to have that conversation because I don’t think real life queer people should have to out themselves in order to justify the art they make. Whether Toby Fox is actually queer or not is, I would argue, immaterial to the story he’s trying to tell here, which is nuanced in a way that a homophobe would be unlikely to write.

We can also have the conversation of whether this word choice is a good decision or not-- and there are, I would argue, a lot of parts of this game that a storyteller with more experience and maturity would have handled better. There are some parts that come across heavy-handed and needlessly edgy, and there are parts that could have been handled with more grace. We can discuss whether “bury our gays” stories were stale by 2008, or whether stories of queer pain had fallen out of vogue for stories of queer joy. But again, this is a work made by a 16-year old, and being needlessly critical of a fangame made by a teenager for a community of predominantly teenagers feels needlessly meanspirited. Just because the game has been unforeseeably thrust into the public light like this doesn’t mean we need to eviscerate it from a 2023 lens. It’s not fair to Toby Fox, neither the original 16-year old creator nor the adult celebrity today.

So I’m not going to do that. What I am going to say is that a queer reading of this work would indicate that this word usage may very well have been a decision made with artistic intent, and a death-of-the-author reading of this work might indicate that this word has artistic merit anyways. If a gay character sees gayness as bad and uses a slur associated with gayness to demean his opponent, that does fundamentally say something about this character, and in this case it reinforces the existing themes that Toby had put in place. I wouldn’t recommend people in 2023 take this approach in storytelling lightly, but I can see and appreciate the spirit in which the game and this word choice appear to have been made.

In the end, Varik does defeat Dr. Andonuts and kill him.

(image transcript: Varik standing above the machine containing Dr. Andonuts’s dead body, not depicted onscreen. The text box reads “You feel a little like this situation could have been avoided.”)

This is one of the last text boxes of the game, and I think it’s a good ending note for this work-- saying that queer lives do NOT need to go this way, that we do not need to bury our gays, that this genuine pain that Dr. Andonuts experienced is not an inevitability.

In conclusion, I do love Halloween Hack for what it is, imperfections and all. It was very clearly a labor of love made by a very earnest and well-meaning teen, and a lot of the things that would later go on to make Undertale so popular are present in their nascent forms here. HH has some genuinely interesting things to say about Earthbound, from both a plot and a character standpoint, and it’s clearly a good-faith attempt at grappling with queer and psychological subject matter. If people on the internet were to engage sincerely with it rather than judging it (and its creator) based on one out-of-context screenshot, I think they might find a diamond-in-the-rough that still manages to be an absolute gem of a fangame.

[dvlwablu]

Onmyoji Manga List

Back at it again, this time with all the Onmyoji novels series based manga I'm aware of! You can purchase all of these from Bookwalker without needing to be in Japan as for as I'm aware, but your experience may vary. Note that none have official English translations as of 2023.

Reiko Okano's Onmyoji This series is apparently the manga adaptation for Onmyoji - it won the Tezuka Osamu Cultural Grand Prize (yes, that Osamu Tezuka) in 2001 and the Seiun award (think Japan only Hugo awards) for best comic in 2006. I haven't read much of it unfortunately (I can't afford to buy all the volumes!) It has 13 volumes and a sequel (where you get to see Seimei's son!!!) A few volumes of this manga have been translated in French, but I haven't been able to get my hands on a copy :(

Mitsuki Munku's Takiyashahime A mostly straightforward adaptation of the two-part novel series Takiyashahime. If you can't read the novels, you can read this and get a rough idea of what's going on if you can't read much Japanese (or watch the drama special I mentioned in this post!)

Itou Sei's Takiyashahime aka 瀧夜叉姫　陰陽師絵草子 (Takiyashahime Onmyoji Ezoshi) Okay okay SO THIS MANGA. It adapts Takiyashahime, but puts its own spin on the characters. Seimei is now Haruaki (which is just the kun'yomi reading of 晴明 - Seimei is the on'yomi reading. I could talk about nanori and azana more but that's for a separate post), a young, talented onmyoji who is nonetheless still a mere apprentice. He's a lot more hot-headed and kitsune-like, but also a lot more insecure with being friends with Hiromasa due to his social status. Yasunori also plays a larger role in this as Haruaki's main mentor/shishou instead of senior disciple, probably because the author had a previous manga that involved him as a character (unrelated to the Onmyoji series) I have MANY words about the flavour of Seimei/Hiromasa in this, but it's hard to explain without context!!!

This manga has absolutely GORGEOUS art - beautiful lineart, dynamic panelling, and lovely watercolour splash pages. However, it does not shy away from graphic violence, with multiple instances of animal death, human death (including children) and one instance of graphic sexual assault (which is in volume 3, pages 109-111, if you would like to skip it) It is currently ongoing as of 2023, and you can follow it here.

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Victor’s R&S: Between Silence (Eng Translation)

“Every choice he makes inevitably leads to the right path.”

⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a R&S, 无声之间, that is yet to be released on the global server. ⌚

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•  

[Subbed Video: Fully Voiced]

undefined

This R&S accompanies Victor’s S2 CH 41-44 karma.

Victor’s dialogue’s will be in bold and italics, and the others’ dialogues will be only in bold.

【Chapter 1】

The events of the first three chapters took place when Victor was around 22-23 years old. They elaborate on the beginning of Victor and Ronan’s friendship.

A small recap for those unaware: Ronan is one of Victor’s closest friends. He was a young director looking for opportunities to start his career, and young Victor was just building up LFG back then. After proper evaluation, Victor invested in Ronan’s project. Ronan’s project later won several international awards, and with that, the still learning to walk LFG also got its first base for spreading its wings. Ronan later became a world-renowned director (the CANNES winner apparently), LFG became “LFG,” and Victor became “Victor.”

Ronan appeared in Victor’s Taste of Life MQ, Garden Date, and 5th Birthday Story, and was mentioned by Victor in the R&S Finally, We Meet Again. Victor and MC also discuss “Ronan x Victor” friendship in the S2 CH 41-44 call~

—

Victor’s gaze was indifferently fixed on the only source of light in the dimly lit study room–– the movie playing on the computer screen. His face was partly illuminated by the flickering light, and he seemed a little lost in thoughts.

A few days ago, when Victor returned from a business trip to a neighboring city, he was stopped by a young man as soon as he stepped out of the taxi. He enthusiastically helped Victor retrieve his luggage from the trunk and immediately began “confronting” him in a familiar manner as if they had already known each other for a long time.

“CEO Victor, your company is not that large. Why do you still use an appointment system? It seems frivolous.”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

Victor bowed slightly and took the suitcase back into his hands, not intending to pay much attention to the stranger’s rudeness. Although it hadn’t yet been three years since LFG was founded, it had already gained a reputation for its sharp and cutting-edge investment strategy. This visitor was not the first young person to show up uninvited.

“Moreover, I couldn’t find any way to book an appointment online. So I had no other option but to wait here patiently. It’s been five days already, but luckily, I finally managed to secure an appointment.”

Victor’s gaze toward him was crystal clear, indicating, “Let’s talk business.” But the young man seemed to be oblivious to the implied meaning.

“Ah… I understand. There must always be sales promoters swarming at your door, and that’s why you guys have this regulation, right?”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

The space between Victor’s eyebrows knitted into a frown,

“Your behavior has served as a good example of the necessity of this regulation.”

Seeing that Victor was about to leave, the young man blocked his path with a grin on his face,

“Sorry about that. I tend to think in a scattered manner. Please don’t take offense, CEO Victor.”

Following this, he extended his hand toward Victor,

“Let me formally introduce myself. My name is Ronan, and I’m a film director. I have a feature-length movie script that I’ve been polishing for a long time, and I hope that LFG can invest in producing the film.”

Victor didn’t lift his gaze and simply dropped one word in a concise manner,

“Reason.”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

“Although I don’t understand business, LFG is different from other companies. They have already shown their ambition to venture into other industries even in their early stages, which aligns with my aspirations.”

Victor detected a hint of arrogance in Ronan’s words that seemed to come from nowhere, and his brows furrowed slightly, 

“What I’m asking is, why should LFG invest?”

Seeing the youth frozen in place, Victor walked around him and continued on toward the company. However, he had only taken a few steps when he suddenly heard a voice calling out to him from behind, “Wait a minute!” The young man ran up to him again, rummaged through his belongings, and finally handed a hard disk to Victor,

“My answer is in there.”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

The hard disk contained nearly 20 short film works that Ronan had shot previously as practice pieces. 

As the end credits of the last short film were displayed on the screen, a flicker of keen interest emerged on Victor’s previously impassive face. The short films, though, had some roughness and immaturity, but they couldn’t overshadow the unique talent of the creator. He got up and walked to the window, pulling open the heavy curtains. The gentle morning light filtered through the gauzy curtains and poured into the study. It turned out that without even realizing it, he had actually stayed up all night watching those clips.

Victor took out his phone and dialed a number,

“Prepare a report on the development of the film industry in the past five years.”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

In the afternoon of that day, an investment decision meeting was held in the conference room of LFG.

“Although there haven’t been any mistakes in CEO Victor’s decisions so far, the profits of the high-speed railway industry have only just begun to show. Given LFG’s current circumstances, it won’t be appropriate to hastily jump into a new industry.”

“A film production cycle is time-consuming, and even aside from the question of whether or not the investment will be profitable, it will take a long time for the money to flow back in. With LFG’s current financial situation, we likely won’t be able to afford this gamble.”

“While the policies may have become more favorable recently, it would still be unwise to stake our all in the investment of a single movie.”

….

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

This investment decision was seeing the most unified opposition since LFG was founded. However, everything that was happening now was well within Victor’s expectations. After listening to all the opposing views, he responded to everyone’s concerns with perfect composure.

“Currently, there is indeed not sufficient data to support this investment decision. The sole convincing factor is that every investment decision made by LFG in the past has yielded good returns. And I believe that this time will be no exception, although the process may be relatively long.”

“Aside from the budget sheet displayed on the big screen, I’ve already asked Goldman to send the script of this project and the director’s past works to everyone’s email. Perhaps the works will be more persuasive than my empty talk.”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

“Rather than whether or not this movie will bring financial gains to LFG, I’d rather see LFG seize the right opportunity to set foot in the film industry. The film industry will soon enter a period of rapid development, and by grasping the current opportunity, LFG can establish a mutually beneficial relationship with the entire industry.”

Victor’s tone was unhurried and measured. But as it fell into the ears of the investors, it was akin to an indisputable judgment.

A few days later, the investment resolution for Ronan’s film project was approved by LFG.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•  

—

【Chapter 2】

Ronan’s first movie stirred a small sensation after its release, and after gaining recognition from many industry veterans, he grew rapidly at a breakneck pace. With the constant flow of inspiration, he created two more films in quick succession, while LFG continued to firmly occupy the top spot as the producer of his films since the beginning. When he was almost wrapping up the shooting for his third film, Victor received multiple invitations from Ronan to visit the set under the guise of “guiding the work.”

A faint sense of misgiving arose in Victor’s heart. Although Ronan had an unconventional personal style, as a director, he had always maintained enough professionalism and aesthetic sense and would not be swayed by the opinions of the investors. At that time, he happened to be on a business trip near the filming location and drove to the set on the outskirts of the city.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

However, he wasn’t expecting to be greeted with the sight of Ronan exploding on the props team as soon as he stepped onto the set. 

“The precondition of all you guys’ work here is to respect the film! Respect the audience! Your small mistake has directly caused five scenes to be re-shot, not to mention going over budget. Now the entire crew is spending extra time and effort to mend your error!”

Signs of anger loomed on Ronan’s face as if he was trying his best to restrain himself from smashing the script in his hand onto the other person’s head.

The Ronan in front of him was a far cry from the unconventional and unruly image he had in his memory, causing Victor to inevitably be a little flabbergasted. He stood there waiting on the side for quite a while until Ronan came rushing over.

“Ahh... sorry for making you wait! Would you like to have something to drink?”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

“Water.”

Ronan wiped off his sweat and took Victor to the RV, where the director’s crew took a break. However, upon opening the freezer cabinet, nothing else was inside except cans of beer packed to the brim.

“Will this do?”

“...I drove here.”

As if oblivious to Victor’s speechless expression, Ronan put the beer back into the freezer and sat down opposite him in a carefree manner, gesturing animatedly with his hands.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

“I had originally calculated the exact time and wanted you to witness the grand finale. But you also saw the situation just now. Things don’t always go according to the plans.”

“How do you plan to handle this situation?”

“We have no choice but to reshoot. But don’t worry, I’ll ensure we do it in the most cost-effective method possible. Rest assured, it won’t  go over budget.”

Ronan shrugged his shoulders in feigned nonchalance, but Victor’s keen perception picked up on the subtle traces of putting on an act in his tone.

“If the method you’re talking about is to film it all in one take using a long shot, then I suggest you ask for a budget increase from me.”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

Hearing Victor’s words, Ronan was a bit taken aback and stared with widened eyes,

“Have you been taking film courses? How do you even know about cost-effective filming methods?”

“How much budget do you need for the reshoot?”

Seeing Victor’s serious expression, Ronan cupped his fist in the other hand, an expression of gratitude written across his whole face,

“About 3 million yuan. Thank you so much in advance, CEO Victor. You are the godparent of this film! I’ll definitely put your name at the top of the director’s acknowledgments!”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

Victor remained stone-faced in the face of his teasing:

“No need. You may have misunderstood. For me, achieving the expected goal takes precedence over everything. Economizing the cost is only a small number, but compromising the quality of the film would affect the expected return on investment.”

Probably aiming to appease Victor’s concerns, Ronan gave him his sincere assurance,

“Don‘t worry. I won’t be careless with any of the shots.”

Not receiving a response from Victor, he took a brief pause and jokingly said,

“Hehe, do I need to win a major international award for you to have faith in me?”

Victor didn’t continue that conversation and left with the parting remark, “Make sure to not just talk the talk. Let me see your capability with the finished project.” But Ronan knew that Victor had faith in him.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

Victor was just about to start the car when he heard a knock on the car’s right window. He turned to the source of the sound and saw Ronan outside the car, panting heavily, holding a bottle of water as if he had just run a great distance to reach him.

“Thanks.”

Victor took the water after opening the window,

“By the way, your acting skills are really poor. It’s best if you just stick to being a director.”

Despite being called out, Ronan remained unperturbed and smiled instead, resting his hand on the window frame,

“I’ve been dedicated to being a director all along. Earlier, when I mentioned winning an award, I was dead serious. So if that day ever comes, how about treating me to a drink at a bar, CEO Victor?”

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•  

—

【Chapter 3】

The film that Ronan had placed great expectations upon encountered a strong setback in the local theaters even before receiving the results of its entry into the international film festival. Due to the mismanagement in scheduling by the theaters, the film was forced to release earlier than planned. The marketing and promotion team was caught off guard, having no time to prepare, and many people were unaware that it had already been released. As a result, the film suffered from poor box office performance and received a lackluster public reception, which was not surprising considering the circumstances.

The following day, Victor was reviewing the box office prediction trend chart as he prepared in advance for LFG’s next weekly investment meeting. After the weekend drew its curtain, the film’s already disappointing performance experienced a sudden and drastic decline, reminiscent of a fall from the cliff. It seemed that the film’s box office failure had become inevitable. Recalling Ronan’s spirited demeanor when talking about his aspiration for the film winning awards, Victor decided to go and watch the movie to experience it firsthand.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

Due to a scarce number of screenings, Victor could only manage to buy a ticket for a late-night show. By the time he walked out of the theater, it was already dawn, and he found himself to be the sole audience member in the entire screening in the empty cinema hall without the sight of any other viewers. Coincidentally, as Victor entered the elevator, the projectionist in charge of the screening happened to be getting off work and shared the elevator with him.

“Ah, the movie has a high level of artistic quality. It’s the best one he has directed yet. It’s a pity that it’s not commercial enough to make money.”

In response to the projectionist’s remark, Victor nodded politely and replied:

“Mm, it’s indeed remarkable. As for whether it’s a pity or not, each film has its track suitable for only itself.”

With a “ding” sound, the brief conversation came to an end as the elevator doors opened.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

Just as he stepped out of the elevator, Victor’s phone in his pocket vibrated. He received an MMS from Ronan, containing a screenshot of an email confirming his film’s selection for the CANNES Film Festival. The message was accompanied by a grinning face emoji.

Just as Victor’s “congratulations” message was successfully sent, Ronan couldn’t contain his excitement and immediately called him,

“Reporters are all waiting in line to interview me. But I wanted to call you first. Isn’t that very thoughtful of me?”

Without waiting for Victor to respond, Ronan carried on excitedly,

“I’m actually booking my plane ticket right now. After the film festival wraps up, it’d be the perfect opportunity to reward myself with a long vacation! I’m planning to visit Île Saint-Honorat near Cannes. Ahh, the sunshine! The beach! The sea! I already can’t wait to melt away in the Mediterranean sea breeze!”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

His irrepressible excitement flowed from the rising inflection of his voice.

“If I remember correctly, that e-mail was just to notify you that you’ve been nominated.”

“Being nominated is the first step to actually winning the award. When I get back, you better be ready to take out for a drink. I’m gonna need at least a whole case of beer.”

Ronan continued in a dissatisfied tone before Victor could respond,

“Come on? You’ve invested millions in me, yet it’s so difficult for you to treat me to a simple drink? Forget it, I’ll just…”

“Sure, we can have a drink. But since I’m the one treating, I’ll choose where we go.”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

After hanging up the phone, Victor found several new emails expressing their interest in collaboration in his inbox, all from astute film and TV companies.

“It seems that tomorrow’s investment meeting will go smoothly,”-- Victor thought to himself. Although he didn’t hesitate when making the decision initially, he could not help but feel a sense of joy as the dust settled and everything fell in the right direction in the end.

As these thoughts circled his mind, Victor walked towards the vending machine outside the movie theater. He inserted a few coins, and moments later, a chilled can of beer dropped from the dispensing slot.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•  

—

【Chapter 4】

Chapters 4 & 5 of the R&S cover the events between S2 CH 38-39. It begins with the scene after he had replaced the twelve main gods of BS, and the ending scene of the R&S, yes, is the “Stop time for me, Victor” scene of S2 CH 39 after clearing all split routes; the most crucial junction~

—

The waning moon sinks into the dense clouds, and the night sky is bathed in a blurred, pale luminescence.

The comet remains suspended midair, framing the entire Loveland City in a treacherous and enchanting ambiance. The city has lapsed into a state of deathly stillness.

In the depths of the BS Hall, the cascading dark red curtains appear eerie and terrifying under the reflection of the thick, dark night. The central seat in the hall remains unoccupied. Numerous figures stand scattered throughout the hall, engaged in discussions. The sound of conversation fills the air, giving the impression that the main gods seem to be working intensely. Despite so, there’s an underlying current of restlessness and turmoil in the air.

As Victor descends the stairs, his composed footsteps draw the attention of the crowd, causing their gazes to converge on him in unison.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

Victor walks towards Poseidon and asks,

“How is the progress?”

“We haven’t been able to reach Helios yet.”

Victor’s gaze sweeps across the faint golden arc of light beneath the hall’s dome. A thin layer of frost seems to settle on his face as he says,

“I hope I don’t have to emphasize once again how tight the time is.”

Poseidon nods and exits the hall. Another tall, short-haired youth swiftly walks up to Victor and says,

“BOSS, multiple calculations have consistently proven that our estimated countdown time is indeed relatively accurate, with an error margin that can be kept within 2 minutes.”

“It’s not enough. It needs to be precise down to the second.”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

“Understood.”

The young man nimbly turns around and returns to the side of the woman wearing glasses. In front of them, a massive depiction of the development history of civilizations on Earth is displayed. Each key milestone of the birth and extinction of civilizations is illuminated, shining brightly. The two people close their eyes, and countless lines weave through the points of light. They interconnect in an orderly and systematic pattern, and gradually, numerical values representing units of time emerge on the line segments.

As the main gods return to their tasks, everything appears to be the same as it was earlier. However, with Victor’s presence, the restlessness that was lingering in the air before has unknowingly melted away, vanishing into thin air.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

The mechanical sound of a violin suddenly resounds, piercingly echoing throughout the hall. Standing by the door is an unexpected guest. Victor looks up and, upon recognizing the visitor’s face, dismisses the twelve main gods, leaving only the two of them in the spacious hall. 

“Zero, I believe we’ve made our point very clear already.”

The other party seems oblivious to the implied urgency in the words and remains unperturbed as he says,

“We have observed new omens appearing along the world-lines.”

Victor raises his eyebrows, indicating for him to go on.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

“There might be different potential futures for this world. It remains uncertain which path the new future will follow, and perhaps it could be even worse than the current situation.”

Victor’s eyes are filled with indifference as he responds,

“Time is precious. You can just state your purpose in coming directly.”

Zero pauses and looks straight into Victor’s eyes, speaking slowly,

“The SpaceTime Bureau welcomes powers formidable enough to confront and observe the unknown. Therefore, my invitation to you still stands. You and I both know that venturing into the unknown is not the optimal option.”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

“Whether an option is the best has never been the basis for my decision-making. For me, the one and only valid prerequisite is whether or not I desire to make that choice.”

Victor speaks in an indifferent tone, yet every word carries the confidence of having victory within his grasp,

“And once I make a choice, I will ensure it becomes the most correct one.”

Zero chooses not to persuade any further, and as he departs, the gates of BS close behind him. Even though Victor has never had any regrets about his decisions, he cannot, however, escape the realization that even the right choice sometimes comes with an unbearable price. For instance, there is one such image that remains etched into his memory and which he still refuses to recall to this very day––

The utility room of the cruise ship. The bewilderment and perplexity in her gaze as she looked at him.

[Tidbits]: Reference to [S2 CH 31]

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

Even if her forgetting him had lasted for only a brief moment, the shock it brought to Victor’s heart might outlast even the longevity of his own life.

The sound of bells chiming outside the building reaches Victor’s ears and brings him back to reality, jolting him out of his tangled thoughts. He walks towards the window and pushes open the heavy panes, allowing the chilly wind to fill his nostrils. Gradually, he regains his composure.

He takes a deep breath and directs his gaze toward the bell tower of the church. The hoarse tolling of the bells startles a flock of crows into sudden flight. They circle above the church for a while, adding another layer of desolation to this already lifeless city. The church spire blends into the profound darkness of the night. The entire city seems to be silently awaiting the arrival of doomsday.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

But in the next second, from a distance, Victor spots a familiar figure breaking through the night, running towards his location vigorously.

The darkness of the night intensifies,  and a cluster of blazing flames has already flared into existence in the silent void.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•  

—

【Chapter 5】

Victor is not surprised by the scene unfolding before him, and a small smile forms at the corner of his lips.

The church bells continue reverberating, but by the time the sound travels to Victor’s ears, it carries a much brisker tone.

Unbeknownst to him, a gauzy layer of starlight has cascaded upon the church’s stained glass windows at some point. The soft halo of pale light gently dances, casting swirling and elusive shadows that can be seen even with eyes closed.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

The running girl closes the distance more and more, with her long hair casually flowing down in loose waves, drawing a beautiful arc in the air. Despite there still being a considerable distance between them, Victor feels as though he can see the girl’s face clearly. He is certain that her eyes now are sparkling with a resolute glimmer, powerful enough to pierce through the darkness of the night. With this thought, a wave of fervent sensation surges up from deep within his heart.

Suddenly, Victor feels as if he has been blessed.

It’s not about whether every decision he makes ultimately leads to the perfect outcome, but rather the fact that he has always been granted the opportunity to make choices.

It’s as if, at this moment, he can cast aside all social roles and simply be “Victor,” allowing himself to be there for the girl wherever she needed him and creating a space where she could find him at any time.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

The feeling of being needed by her, of being able to help her–– these aspects bring Victor a profound sense of happiness. It seems that this happiness is enough to make the long days ahead, in which he may be forgotten by her, a little less painful to endure.

Victor nods slightly in the direction of the church, solemnly expressing his gratitude for this blessing within his heart.

Victor turns around and ascends the steps, summoning all the main gods to take their positions,

“Suspend all matters at hand.”

A murmuring commotion rises among the main gods, as they are puzzled about why BOSS has chosen to halt their activities during such a crucial moment when the end of the night is just about to descend.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

Before those impatient inquiries can escape their lips, though, Victor’s cold and commanding demeanor instantly silences them.

His gaze sweeps over the crowd, ensuring that every main god is present, before finally settling on the entrance not far away. The main gods, following his line of sight, turn their heads toward the entrance as well.

A few seconds later, the BS door is pushed open with a resounding sound.

The girl appears at the far end of Victor’s unwavering gaze, gasping for breath. He, with a stern and proud expression, leads the main gods toward her until she can see him. It’s only when the girl has a clear view of him does Victor halt his steps.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈

As those bright, sparkling eyes gaze at him from afar, and their eyes interlock, Victor’s heart is flooded with a myriad of complex and indescribable emotions. There is a sense of relief that the situation has unfolded according to his expectation, a deep sense of gratitude that she is standing before him at this moment, and a profound pride for her that emanates from the depths of his being… just as these emotions are about to pour out of his heart sincerely, he casts his gaze downward. He leads the main gods to step aside in the shadows, creating the path for the girl to ascend the platform.

As he watches her walk step by step toward the long-unoccupied seat, Victor knows that regardless of what she might ask for, he has already prepared himself to do all that he can and give his everything for her.

—

[thegeminisage]

it's time for...a dual tng/ds9 update. i'm gonna be real, i would strongly prefer to put updates for separate shows in separate posts to keep my tags/archive clean, but i tried to imagine doing that for all seven seasons of ds9 (which either run concurrently to tng or voyager) and became horrifically overwhelmed. so, unfortunately, this is the way it has to be. last night we watched tng's "ship in a bottle" and ds9's "captive pursuit."

ship in a bottle (tng):

to be totally honest, i probably would have had more nuanced thoughts on this episode if 1. i hadn't been sleep deprived out of my fucking mind and also had the Worst Day Ever 2. they didn't pronounce the name "regina" to rhyme with "vagina."

like, i'm sorry, WHO SAYS IT LIKE THIS? AND THEY KEPT SAYING IT. every time i calmed down someone would say it again, or catherine would say it again to menace me, and i'd dissolve back into hysterics. i almost couldn't follow the plot of the episode because i was laughing too hard

that said, i did glance over the transcript in the cold light of day, wherein i can (attempt to) read the name "regina" as god and the mean girls intended, and i do have a few thoughts, which are as follows

i don't think moriarty makes a good villain. i mean, it's just a sherlock holmes crossover, which i'm already a little chilly on because of those fucking tjlc people, but also, it's not...really star trek. also lmao him like "YOU FORGOT ME AND I STAYED IN A MICROCHIP FOR FOUR YEARS" and meanwhile picard is like "uh no we totally researched" dude. you didn't. we all forgot about him. please be serious

ALSO, we pulled him from season 2. they were like, "SOMEONE said 'create an opponent who can out-think data'" and they can't even say pulaski's name because that was such a cheap shitty move from a cheap shitty season. do not bring that shit forward. let it die.

the sci-fi concept of "what if this nonsentient npc became self-aware and wanted to be real" is solid, i'll give it that (and bonus points at the end for picard implying they could all be living in a simulation, WHICH THEY ARE, and there's also a theory that our world is one too), but instead of...exploring the concept at all and try to decide what the ethical thing is to do about it, they play this...cat-and-mouse inception game with moriarty instead. AND THAT COULD HAVE BEEN FUN. i was actually decently impressed when geordi caught that thing in his left hand and realized a second before they told us that they had been in the holodeck all along. tng doesn't manage to trick me often and i really enjoy it when they do! i think an episode utilizing that plot twist could have been great! but it's an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT episode than "the holodeck characters may be sentient, what are you going to do about it?"

the implications were also there in "the big goodbye," which apparently won awards even though i hated it - that guy asking if his family would be there when he got home, or if he was just gonna disappear when picard walked out the door. and of course picard walked out the door and he just ceased to exist. and that one episode with what's her name, riker's dinger lady gf. there is EVERY implication throughout this series that the holodeck characters are not only CAPABLE of becoming sentient but that they ALREADY ARE SENTIENT.

THINK ABOUT THIS A SECOND. that fake deanna with no free will of her own that barclay made specifically for him to fuck is sentient. the enemies in the klingon training scenarios. the guys in the westerns. riker's fake family. geordi's creepy holodeck sex doll gf. every background extra in the dixon hill setting. the alternate versions of riker and geordi from those episodes with recordings. the alternate version of riker on the trail where he was accused of RAPE and the victim he supposedly assaulted. ALL SENTIENT.

and instead of doing anything about this, like notifying starfleet and immediately disassembling all the holodecks and never ever making another one or AT THE VERY LEAST ceasing their use until an investigation on whether or not their use is ethical takes place. we just. put moriarty and his poorly named gf into a little cube and make a 4th wall joke. a good 4th wall joke, but still.

like, is it ethical to trap them in a holosimulation that they believe is real for the rest of their endless existence? there's no choice probably but if this is the hell they go through, if they can feel the passage of time between bouts of being solid in the holodeck, isn't it unethical to create more of them?? it is the EXACT argument made for data's personhood in season 2 - the holodeck characters exist to be therapists and entertainers and whores, and there's potentially an entire race of them in there, but it is LITERALLY PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to give them agency and lives and choices of their own. YOU HAVE TO DISASSEMBLE THE HOLODECK. or stop making these kinds of episodes.

i will say that i was so worried about this being A Barclay Episode but like he was just in it. and that was fine i guess. like he didn't do anything horrible he was just there. i can live with that...but at what cost. good fucking lord. the one time tng has a solid sci-fi premise and they totally waste it on stupid ass bullshit

oh, yeah. the two gas planets colliding in this episode to make a star was cool esp bc one of them was a jupiter knock-off. i'm pretty sure that's not how stars work but i don't know enough about it etc etc etc. compelled me anyway though.

captive pursuit (ds9):

sour note right at the beginning when this poor lady was telling sisko that quark tried to fuck her...i like quark a lot so i wish we could like retcon some of the horrible ferengi stuff cuz it really takes the wind out of my sails. but whatever

i am tosk!!! it was so cute because like he literally is tosk. but then by the end it's a bummer because he's only tosk. you know :(

i love o'brien in this episode. he called the strange alien "friend" like 3 times and then proceeded to become his number one best buddy. i was so worried when he went into the ship alone that this alien was a big meanie who would jump him but instead he just smacked his head which was pretty funny

quark acting as a therapist in this episode was really funny. he's like, tell me about your problems. and o'brien is like, thanks i'd rather die. but then he does and quark is so pleased, it was extremely funny

o'brien busting tosk out really was the only solution and very cool also. o'brien NEVER got to do stuff like this in tng. "die with honor" i love that he got the gist of it and that you could see on his face that he went from wtf to honored and touched. very sweet.

side bar but ODO DOESN'T USE PHASERS??? how does he fight...he's so fascinating to me. i want to know everything about him

surprise sisko moment at the end where he gives o'brien the business and then o'brien is like okay yeah i had that coming but like could you not have caught us. like i was so sure you were gonna catch us. what happened. and then you remember sisko is being a hardass but he literally did tell odo to walk slower. i think it's another good example of sisko threading the needle where he has to follow starfleet's rules but he knows in his heart what the right thing to do is. i like him so much

TONIGHT: tng's "aquiel" and ds9's "q-less" (GROSS what is q doing on this cool show get your tng shit outta here)

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

Graduated earlier this week and had a few surprising things happen

The first surprise was my parents flight got diverted and they ended up in another country.

The second surprise was upon hearing this my sister decided to book a flight to the city I was graduating from so someone from my family would be there which wasn’t expected or necessary but was very touching

My parents got a new flight the morning of the graduation and ended up arriving five minutes before the doors for the graduation ceremony closed. I was mostly glad about this as I know it would have upset them to miss it

A lot of discussion among the students beforehand was speculation about who got the best thesis and the number one student award. My guess about who got best thesis was right but the top student award led to the third surprise of the night as they apparently forgot to tell me in advance that I had won it

They also misspelled my name on the award but it has a nice design so whatever

Then I got tipsy on the free wine afterwards and various lecturers said very complimentary things I tried not to be obviously emotional about

Excellent day overall

[chessismyaesthetic]

Happy birthday Vera Menchik (1906-44)!

Vera Menchik was a Russian-born Czechoslovak chess player who primarily resided in England. The first and longest-reigning Women's World Chess Champion, she won the championship eight times from 1927 to 1944, mainly in round-robin tournaments which she totally dominated (to the point that Alekhine once commented it was unfair she had to keep defending her title when her dominance was so obvious). Sadly, she was killed by a V1 rocket at her home in London in 1944, aged only 38.

Although her life was cut tragically short, she achieved a helluva a lot and should be remembered as an important part of chess history. A few points are needed to fully appreciate Menchik's chess career.

First, she was the first woman to compete in master's level tournaments against some of the world's best male players which she did throughout the 1920s and 1930s - people like Alekhine, Capablanca, Reshevksy, Maroczy, Rubinstein, Euwe.

She did this despite considerable sexism. Both the press and players joked that those who lost to her were members of the "Vera Menchik Club" - a term first mockingly suggested by Albert Becker to make fun of her at the Carlsbad tournament in 1929 when she lost her first game. Before that tournmanet, one journalist - Hans Kmoch - said he would "go on stage as a ballerina" if she scored more than three points.

Fittingly, Menchik beat Becker in the tournament, making him the first member of the "club" he'd just suggested, and Kmoch was forced to public express regret for his comment when she did indeed score three points.

The idea of the "Vera Menchik Club" took off in the press after that, though it became more a term of respect - when FIDE began awarding the title of Grandmaster in 1950 four of the new GMs were members of the club and eight were "candidate members" having only drawn against her. When a member of the "club" includes a World Champion like Max Euwe, it's an impressive club!

Menchik giving a 13-board simultaneous exhibition after winning the 1926 London Girls' Championship.

Secondly, Menchik did all this while NOT being a full-time professional player or even aiming to be fully dedicated to chess, unlike the world's top players of the time. That's not to say she didn't have a big impact on the game though, especially in Britain where she gave lessons, was chess editor for different journals, edited Social Chess with William Winter, was a columnist and editor for Chess magazine, and served as director of the British National Chess Centre.

It's also not to say she wasn't a flipping good chess player. According to chess.com she was on a level with the strongest male British chess players of the time who were "undeniably strong players" though "a level below the Laskers, Capablancas, and Alekhines of the world". Nevertheless, the top players treated her with respect. After that 1929 tournament where she was mocked, Alekhine - then the reigning World Champion - commented:

"She indisputably has attained her three points against the strong masters, but it is little known to the public that she has also attained superior positions against Euwe, Treybal, Colle and Dr. Vidmar. She was beaten by Dr. Vidmar only after a nine hour match. It is the chess world's duty to grant her every possibility for development."

Similarly, when asked "are there any women who played good chess" in 1932, Capablanca replied, "One. Her name is Vera Menchik. She is Czechoslovakian and Slavic and was trained in England, where she now lives. She played against me and she is very strong."

She even apparently inspired a 1929 Vogue cover!

Her legacy is long-lasting. As chess.com notes, "to this day the winning nation in the Women’s Olympiad is awarded the Vera Menchik Cup, a fitting way to remember the first world champion".

Check out some of her games here.

[angelexlife]

Taylor Alison Swift (13/10/2023)

Taylor Alison Swift was born December 13 1989 to Andra and Scott Swift. On March 11th, 1992, Taylors' younger brother Austin Swift was born. He became an actor and helps his sister with some of her music-related things. Taylor and her brother were born in Reading Pennsylvania. When Taylor was 14 she and her family moved to Nashville Tennessee and Taylor went to pursue her career in country music. In November of 2004, Taylor signed to the, at the time nonexistent, record label Big Machine Records owned by Scott Borchette. Taylor made a few demo CDs that she would give to people to promote herself and her music to people.

In June of 2006 Taylor debuted her first single Tim McGraw, she wrote the song as an ode to a lover who would be leaving town. The song served as an introduction to her self-titled debut album. Taylor Swift, otherwise known as Debut or Self-Titled, was released on October 24th, 2006, and contained the singles Teardrops on My Guitar, Our Song, Picture To Burn, and Should’ve Said No. The album became the longest-charting album of the 2000s, spreading 227 weeks on the Billboard 100. Taylor wrote or co-wrote every song from the album during her freshman year of high school.

In 2006 and later re-released in 2009 Taylor released a holiday collection. The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection EP was the first and only Christmas collection that Taylor has released. The collection includes four country-pop-styled covers of the songs Last Christmas, Santa Baby, Silent Night and White Christmas. Along with two of her previously unreleased tracks Christmases When You Were Mine and Christmas Must Be Something More.

Between the release of her Debut and her sophomore album Taylor released an EP titled Beutiful Eyes which had Teardrops on My Guitar Acoustic Version, Should’ve Said No Alternative Version, and two previously unreleased tracks titled Beutiful Eyes, and I Heart ? It was never released on streaming and the CDs are now considered rare.

On November 11, 2008, Fearless was released as her sophomore album, which had the singles Fifteen, Love Story, White Horse, and You Belong With Me. Taylor considered this album to be her breakthrough moment as Fearless was her first number-one and became the most-awarded country album. Taylor Swift, who was 20 at the time, was the youngest person to have won Album of The Year until 2020 when Billie won.

During the 2009 VMAs when Taylor was accepting an award for Fearless rapper Kanye West climbed on stage and rudely interrupted her. Swift looked noticeably deflated by West's comments with ‘Boos” erupting from the ground. Fun Fact: Taylor used to be a Kanye fan. When Taylor later recounted on the events, she said she was really excited because she had just won the award, and then excited because Kanye was on stage and then she just wasn't excited anymore. Taylor's mom apparently yelled at him for doing this to Taylor. Kanye, following the incident, apologized on his blog and to Taylor. Taylor released a song called Innocent on her third album forgiving him for the 2009 VMAs incident but let's put a pin in this for now.

In 2009 Taylor appeared on an episode of CSI: Crime Scene Investication. She played as Haley Jones in Turn, Turn, Turn.

Following the success of Fearless people had doubts about Taylor's songwriting ability. Taylor wrote her third album Speak Now alone to prove these people wrong. Speak Now was released on October 25, 2010. It contained the singles Mine, Back To December, Mean, The Story Of Us, and Ours. Speak Now won many awards including a Grammy for Best Country Album.

In 2010 Taylor also played a role in Valentine's Day in which she played as Felicia Miller. She also contributed to the soundtrack with Today Was A Fairytale and Jump Than Fall.

On October 22nd, 2012, Taylor released her fourth album Red. While at the same time, she went through a dramatic visual change as she straightened her curly hair and had started her shift towards pop music with the album containing a mix of pop and country. Red had songs such as I Knew You Were Trouble, 22, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, and Everything Has Changed were Billboard charting singles at the time they released. Red was nominated for a Grammy for Album Of The Year. Rolling Stones named All Too Well the best song of the 2010s.

In 2012 The Lorax came out. bit weird to be mentioning The Lorax in a Taylor Swift essay huh? But did you know Taylor had a role in The Lorax? In 2012 Taylor Swift was the voice for Audrey. Bit of a fun fact for you.

Also in 2012, Taylor worked on the soundtrack for The Hunger Games. She and The Civals Wars produced Safe And Sound for the movie.

In 2013 Taylor was in an episode of New Girl, where she played as Elaine.

Taylor's fifth album, 1989, named after her birthyear, was released on October 27th, 2014, and was her official switch into pop music. 1989 has her biggest hits to this day titled Blank Space, Style, Out Of The Woods, Shake It Off, Bad Blood, and Wildest Dreams. 1989 was the only album in 2014 to sell a million copies in its first week. 1989 won a Grammy for Album of The Year making Taylor the first woman to win Album of The Year twice for two different genres.

Also in 2014, Taylor played Rosemary in the movie adaptation of The Giver.

Around the time of Taylors' Grammy win she became entangled in a heavily publicized feud with Kanye West (remember the pin, it getting taken out now) Following the incident back in 2009 at the VMAs the two had seemed to have moved on and were even seen together at multiple events, nice right? It was until 2016 when Kanye released a song called Famous in which he calls her a “bitch” and claims he made her famous, not to mention an incredibly disgusting music video. Taylor responded to the song by claiming that she never said he could call her that. She never signed off on the line. But then Kanye and his then-wife Kim Kardashian leaked an edited version of the phone call that made it seem as if Taylor was lying. Taylor was canceled, called a liar, a snake, and had people making fun of her “downfall”. Taylor removed herself from social media and the public eye following the backlash. Later the full phone call was leaked proving that Taylor did in fact not sign off on the line.

During the time of the drama Taylor went on a hiatus, breaking her cycle of releasing an album every two years. During this time she worked on songs such as This is What You Came For with her at the time boyfriend Calvin Harris under a pseudonym (the song of which she has just recently gotten credit for), a country song (outtake from Red) called Better Man that she sold and featured on to Little Big Town, and I Don’t Want To Live Forever With ZAYN that featured in the film Fifty Shades Darker.

On August 18th, 2017, Taylor wiped her social media accounts to tease the release of Look What You Made Me Do, which was released at the end of the month. Her sixth studio album Reputation came out on November 10th of the same year featuring the singles …Ready For It?, End Game, and Delicate. The record was her biggest sale at the time, selling over 1.2 million copies in the USA during its first week. Reputation also became the best-selling album of 2018.

Reputation was Taylors' last album with Big Machine Records before signing with Republic Records. Following her new contract, Scott Borcettha sold her albums masters to Scooter Braun, her first six albums that she wanted to own the masters for. Swift described her disappointment on social media but vowed to re-record her stolen albums so that she could own them. Apparently, Scooter didn't think that she would be album to do this successfully but at almost four re-records down (pin that for a second) you can see who's winning that.

Taylor was dedicated to artistic ownership and it became a large focus point of her 2019 album, released on August 23, Lover. She co-produced most of the tracks on the album, as well as directing or co-directing each of the music videos. The album featured the initial singles ME!, Lover, The Man, and You Need To Calm Down. Cruel Summer was later released as a single in the summer of 2023. In November of 2019 the American Music Awards named Taylor Artist of the decade. Taylor also, in the same night, beat Micheal Jacksons' record to become the artist with the most AMA awards in history, this one being her 29th award. The next month Billboards named Taylor the Artist of The Decade.

Fun fact in 2019 Taylor was in the infamous movie Cats. She played the cat Bombaurina. In the movie, she sings Macavity.

In January of 2020, Taylor released a documentary called Miss Americana that showed fans a glimpse of Taylor's life and decision to speak up on politics. The documentary featured a song called Only The Young that Taylor wrote while she was recording Lover.

Following the Covid-19 pandemic Taylor yet again switched in genres. On July Taylors'Taylors' 8th album Folklore was released after being surprise announced just the day before. The only single from the album was Cardigan. Folklore has a more alternative sound and instead of being autobiographical, like Taylors' work normally was, it was focused on telling other people's stories. The album included the Folklore Love Triangle which is three songs. Cardigan, Betty, and August, each told the perspective of three different people who as the name suggests, is about a love triangle. Betty (Cardigan) was dating James (Betty), but then James cheated on her with a girl named Augustine (August). James ends up choosing Betty in the end.

She later released Folklore: The Long Pond Studios Sessions on Disney+ where she performed the whole album live for the first time. Folklore won Album of The Year in March 2021 making Taylor the first woman and fourth artist to win Album of The Year three times.

Another surprise project, a follow-up album titled Evermore was released on December 11th, 2020, two days before Taylors' birthday. Evermore expanded on the stories told in its sister album Folklore. The only single from the album being Willow.

In 2021 Taylor refocused on regaining her ownership over her work and to make the re-records more exciting and different she included From The Vault tracks which were songs that had been scrapped from albums and were unreleased.

She kicked off the first re-record era by releasing Love Story (Taylors Version) in February right before making Fearless (Taylors Version) her first re-recording. The vault track Mr. Perfectly Fine was also released as a single for the record.

Taylor's second re-recording was for her fourth album Red which came out November 12th, 2021. It featured the singles I Bet You Think About Me and All Too Well (Ten Minute Version). All Too Well (Ten Minute Version) became a short film that stared Sadie Sink and Dylan O’Brian.

Breaking up the re-recordings Taylor released her tenth album Midnights was released on October 21st, 2022. Midnights tells the stories of many sleepless nights scattered across her life. The singles from the album were Bejeweled, Anti-Hero, and Lavender Haze. Midnights success gave Taylor the record of being the first person to occupy the top ten of the Billboard Hot 100 and gave Taylor the record for the most streamed album on Spotify in one day.

In 2022 Taylor played in Amsterdam, she played the role of Liz Meekins.

On March 17th of 2023, to celebrate the start of the Eras tour, she released The More Lover Chapter which contained the songs Cruel Summer, Lover, The Man, The Archer, and the previously unreleased song All Of The Girls You Loved Before. She also released The More Red (Taylors’ Version) Chapter which contained the songs I Knew You Were Trouble (Taylors’ Version), 22 (Taylors’ Version), We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Taylors’ Version), All Too Well (Ten Minute Version) (Taylors’ Version) [From The Vault], and two new Taylors Versions, Safe And Sound (Taylors’ Version) and Eyes Open (Taylors’ Version). Finally, she had also released The More Fearless (Taylors’ Version) Chapter which included Fearless (Taylors’ Version), Love Story (Taylors’ Version), White Horse (Taylors’ Version), You Belong With Me (Taylors’ Version)and a track that originally was on the deluxe edition of Speak Now, If This Was A Movie (Taylors’ Version).

Taylor then got back to the re-recordings and on July 7th, 2023, she released Speak Now (Taylors Version). Its only single was the “From The Vault” track I Can See You which had a music video featuring Taylor Lautner and Joey King. Joey King had also been in the music video for Mean thirteen years before.

Taylor's most recent re-recording as of today will be 1989 (Taylors Version) and it is expected to be released on October 27th, 2023, the exact date as the original was released 9 years prior. The re-record will contain 5 vault tracks and Taylor considers this her favorite re-recording. She had already released two singles from this re-record before Red (Taylors' Version) was released, Wildest Dreams (Taylors' Version) and This Love (Taylors' Version). The five vault tracks are called “Slut!”, Now That We Don’t Talk, Say Don’t Go, Suburban Legends, and Is It Over Now?.

As of right now the last two re-recordings are Reputation (Taylors Version) and Taylor Swift (Taylors Version).

[nickmaghighlights]

Nick Mag Highlights - #118 February 2006

Welcome back to Nick Mag Highlights! Would you believe it: Two of the greatest Nickelodeon shows crossing over in one half-hour special? For the second time? It’s a kid’s dream come true! Again! So let’s read all about it.

So yeah, sorry for the wait on this one. A couple of IRL setbacks plus taking on a volley of different big personal projects at once resulted in quite a hit towards my motivation. But hey, we’re here now, and I’m happy to get back into it.

Little sneak preview while I’m here: One of the things I’ve been working on is a new NMH Side Issue post! One that’s covering a mag that’s ostensibly part of Nickelodeon history thanks to its connection to a very prolific creative figure at the studio. Very wordy book though, so naturally both reading it and my analysis of it is gonna take longer than normal. And then I gotta do the research and fact-checking and yadda yadda, it’ll be ready when it's ready. In the meantime I’ve always got Nickelodeon Magazine to come back to.

Read along if you’d like, I think it’s the cool thing to do!

Neopets was still Viacom (parent company of Nickelodeon)’s latest big purchase at the time of this mag’s release, with them having bought it eight months earlier back in June of 2005, so it’s not surprising seeing the new blockbuster Neopets thing getting a big ‘ole two page spread right at the beginning of the magazine.

While Neopets is famous for originally being financially supported by scientology, it was Viacom's stint with the brand that actually got me to give the site a try for a short time (thanks to a Burger King promotion of all things, if memory serves me correctly). If they don't delete old, inactive accounts then I hope my T-Rex Neopet has been doing well for itself. They can’t die, right?

I love this ad. I’m not sure what kind of vibe they were going for here but it almost feels kind of dystopian with the polluted-looking air and all the TV screens weirdly protruding out every which way. Adding to that feeling for me was that I initially thought all that shrubbery down below was a huge audience of adoring viewers. Feels like something out of The Running Man. Super cool.

Always important to check out what Nickelodeon itself was doing around the time. I remember being really excited for Drake & Josh Go Hollywood, and seeing how it went on to gross more than 5 million viewers, I guess I wasn’t alone. Really bothers me to find out it’s just called Go Hollywood and not Go To Hollywood like I thought it was all these years, but I guess I’ll live.

And speaking of millions of viewers, this section also mentions the then-upcoming SpongeBob SquarePants special “Dunces & Dragons” (oddly not actually referred to here with an actual title), which grossed more than 8 million viewers.

Oh, and it’s Black History Month. Y’know just kind of a footnote slotted in the middle there. You'd think that'd get an article or interview, I don’t know. I’m sure Kyra appreciates the shoutout at least.

Woah. Imagine living in a pre-High School Musical world. Nowadays High School Musical is the made-for-TV-movie that baby made-for-TV-movies want to grow up to be. Now we’ve got two sequels, a TV spinoff (a TV spinoff that won five Kids’ Choice Awards apparently, funnily enough), and a mountain of films that tried to cash in on that success. Mostly from Disney Channel themselves. Camp Rock, anyone?

Funny to see the not-Jumanji family classic Zathura listed as Josh Hutcherson’s big recognizable role when he’d end up co-starring in the critically lauded cultural touchstone The Hunger Games just a few years later. And now he’s starring in that Five Nights at Freddy’s movie coming out this year. What a career.

There’s gotta be some irony to me sitting here and enjoying what I probably called the “boring parts” of the magazine back when I was a kid. C’mon though, this is pretty neat! I’ll run through all the topics real quick if you’d like to learn more.

Notes From Underground - The Great Stalacpipe Organ

Still standing to this day, the instrument has been refurbished a couple times since it was featured in this magazine. In 2012 a band by the name of Pepe Deluxé composed and played the first ever song exclusively for the Stalacpipe Organ, called “In The Cave” and featured it in their album Queen of the Wave. Give it a listen, it’s a creepy kind of beautiful. Must’ve been hard to record, too!

Playing With Their Food - The Vienna Vegetable Orchestra

The orchestra is still active and has even done a couple of performances this year! I doubt they still make soup from their instruments though. But to be honest even without having to worry about viral diseases I’m not too interested in soup made exclusively of vegetables that have been blown into for several hours.

Talk About Slow Jamz! - Organ²/ASLSP

Miraculously the performance is still on track. They didn’t play a note this year but the next one is scheduled for February 5th. The second slowest performance of the piece lasted 16 hours and took place last year.

World’s Hottest Tunes - Fire Organs

I can’t really find much about this one online, but I guess it speaks for itself, doesn’t it?

Take a look at a performance and try not to think about how hot it must be in that auditorium whenever he plays that thing.

Alright, it’s time for a confession. You ready to hear the horrible truth? …Okay, here goes:

I don’t know very much about music.

I guess it was probably a bad choice for me to write about a magazine themed around music. I got pretty far without having to disclose my lack of knowledge though, right? And in my defense, Nickelodeon lured me in with that Jimmy Timmy Power Hour cover. 

And I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like music. I love a bit of jazz now and then*. But still, none of the names here really ring a bell, so I don't know if any of these answers are ironic or out-of-character or so in-character it’s adorable or whatever. At least I can appreciate they spared no expense, they never usually have this many interviews. There’s even a third page with even more of them if you want to check it out. 

*My top jazz favorites are Kim Scott (Spotify) and Pieces Of A Dream (Spotify). If you were curious.

It’s really cool to see something encouraging kids to make their own mix CDs. I do kinda wish there was more than one cover though. Not everybody wants to chill.

Aw man, come to think of it, is Gen-Z the last generation to do personal mixtapes and CDs? Or is that still a thing? Regardless I kind of wish I had gotten into doing that when I was younger, it seems like a fun thing to do between friends. Plus my knowledge of music would probably be way stronger than it is now. What do kids do nowadays, send each other Spotify playlists? I guess that's a bit more convenient.

I think I've talked about these Pop-Tart ads before. They were in these magazines all the time so they must’ve come up already. I think I even gave them some credit. But as attention grabbing as they were I really still don't understand the intention. What's so appetizing about seeing these little guys just get absolutely destroyed all the time? Are kids supposed to think about how they’re snuffing the life out of their morning Pop-Tarts?

A very awesome and adorable cover we have here, courtesy of Vera Brosgol (author and illustrator of the award-winning Anya’s Ghost, plus Head of Story on Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio). You can check out her website to see more of her work here.

Nice little comic by Greg Cook. And wouldn’t you know that guy’s Wikipedia article has Nickelodeon Magazine mentioned in its first sentence? That’s cool. Also I feel like the man himself might’ve written his own Wikipedia article. The lack of citations and the way it’s written like the “About Me” page for a blog gives me that kind of vibe. If so, thanks for remembering us, Greg!

Now here’s some of that Jimmy-Timmy content I was promised! I was starting to get worried.

I find it interesting how well Jimmy and Timmy bounce off of each other, but I guess now that I think about it their shows weren’t that different really, at least in terms of subject matter, were they? In broad strokes they’re both kids with big egos whose imaginations tend to get them into trouble. And seeing those big egos clash is naturally gonna lend itself to some good comedy.

In regards to the art, I love the warm colors utilized here, it’s very cozy. The art throws me off just a smidge though. Absolutely no disrespect to Scott Roberts of course, writer and penciler behind this comic (and also creator of Patty Cake, a recurring comic for Nickelodeon Magazine that we… haven’t actually encountered yet on this blog unfortunately), he’s got some great work under his belt, and Timmy and his fairies look as to be expected here. But I do think it was a weird choice making Jimmy look like a Rugrat though. That’s not just me, right? The second page in particular has him pulling off some serious Rugrats-faces. Maybe Roberts was just doing what he knows, because he actually did tons of work on a Rugrats newspaper comic strip just a couple years before this.

Aside from that, Jimmy’s lab is a bit weird. It’s not the usual cave, instead being a regular room with windows and a checkerboard floor? And the exterior shows it to be a wooden cabin? Maybe it’s supposed to be the shack that’s built above the lab Jimmy uses as a secret entrance. Doesn’t really matter, I certainly didn’t notice as a kid, but it does make me wonder if the artist wasn’t provided that much reference material.

I love that snail comic so much like you wouldn’t believe.

Throughout the years I always managed to miss out on LEGO’s constant edgier reinventions of itself, y’know like Bionicle or that one about the ninjas. I guess it helps that I was never really into the toy itself. Unlike those previous examples though, Exo-Force here isn’t ringing any bells for me, but I do find it noteworthy how they were trying to go for a more anime/gundam vibe with this one, what with the Japanese affixed to the bottom of the logo and the faux-anime designs of all the main characters. Surprised to see this one didn’t even warrant its own cartoon, instead having its epic storyline played out through a series of commercials. And while I may like an overarching commercial narrative as much as the next guy (anyone remember those Goldfish Cracker commercials that did the same thing?), I bet you any fans of this line were sore it never got the whole TV show package like Bionicle did.

Oh right, Valentine’s Day is in February, isn’t that right? How many more years do you think that holiday has, you reckon? Nobody likes it. It’s just a reason to buy more greeting cards and do nice things for people that you probably should just be doing anyway and not need a holiday to tell you to do. Eh, still though I guess if you were in a small class at school this would be a pretty useful sheet of cards.

Skyland, huh? Can’t say it rings a bell, but it certainly looks cool. How did this slip by me? I even had this issue as a kid and watched Nicktoons, so I must have just completely tuned it out. I wonder why?

Oh, that’s interesting, it seems like it's all done with motion captured 3D animation. That’s fine, I guess, but that illustration in the magazine had me thinking it’d look a bit more like The Last Airbender. I’m impressed that they spared no expense on the story at least. This intro here can barely keep down its exposition to forty seconds!

So, does anyone remember this one? Apparently it was a French production that was licensed to different channels across the world, airing on Teletoon in Canada and CITV in the UK. I’d love to know if it was any good!

Pretty good smorgasbord of facts in this month’s calendar. And I guess a blanket theme is good as any other theme. Ooh, National Pancake Day! What a great month.

The Jimmy-Timmy quiz is fun, but I wish we could’ve gotten an interview with someone a part of the production of the episode or something. Obviously they’re not going to just interview some random part of the staff (although I’d find that interesting personally), but a voice actor would’ve been cool. I like how Jimmy’s answer considers Sheen a responsibility. Maybe all of Jimmy’s town-threatening inventions were just to distract Sheen from causing any real damage. We all know what kind of terror he’s capable of.

Wow, Bill Clinton! BC himself! Pretty impressive guest for an issue of Nickelodeon Magazine, I must say. ‘Course they got him talking about eating vegetables and exercising instead of something cool, though. It is good to know that being on the receiving end of the most widely-reported-on gobbling in the United States wasn’t enough to get you disqualified from having a spot in Nick Mag.

Another neato guest in theory, Tommy Tallarico is a pretty big name in the video game music space. He’s known for having a hand in loads of different soundtracks over the years and also allegedly being a pathological liar and taking credits for lots of other peoples’ work, which isn’t as nice as the former thing I listed. If you’re interested you can check out more info on the topic in this video here by hbomberguy, which basically runs through a lot of the lies Tallarico has told throughout the years, made as a response to him using legal pressure to get a sound effect he claims to have made removed from the online game Roblox. Oof.

But yeah, to give him some credit, this interview is better than ‘ole Clint’s was. At least Tallarico’s talking about the thing he gets paid for instead of vegetables and dieting. And that “What’s on Mario’s iPod” section is pretty good, but considering Tallirco’s track record it makes me question the legitimacy of his answers… I always thought Crash Bandicoot was more of a Dead Or Alive fan.

Oh god, not QZ again. I did not miss seeing this freak, I’ll tell you that. Why was anyone encouraging this guy with any more questions? He was getting kids names and addresses and we all sat idly by! I like how he sidesteps half the questions too, only giving a direct answer when it concerns protecting a kid from bullies. Maybe he’s not such a bad guy after all…

…Nah. Screw him.

If you remember these guys, you qualify for an Apple Jack’s discount!

I’m willing to admit as a kid I was more than willing to buy into whatever brands wound up on my TV as long as they had a funky mascot and even funkier commercials (and having a website that sported a suite of Flash games and cartoons certainly helped), but the hijinx of this Rastafarian cinnamon stick and goblin-looking apple particularly stick out to me as some rather memorable marketing. I’d say chalk it up to the distinct claymation style the commercials sported (which I’m pretty sure got replaced with 3D animation at some point, which kinda stinks). I found it funny how the character known as “Bad Apple” here eventually got redeemed and just became a friendly competitor that races Cinnamon to the bowl as opposed to the villain he’s presented as here. Did the marketing team really not see from the get-go that people might have a problem with a commercial depicting cinnamon and sugar as the good guy and apples as, well, “bad”?

Still, as much as I loved the commercials, I never actually had a single bowl of Apple Jacks as a kid. Shocking, I know, but my friends told me they sucked and I remember reading one particularly nasty long-winded online review that basically said the cereal is garbage, so I stayed away. I eventually did have a bowl or two of the stuff many years later, and… they’re alright. I will agree with this comic on one thing, Apple Jacks definitely do not “taste like apples”. In fact, they don’t really taste like anything.

And that’ll do it for this edition of Nick Mag HIghlights! Thanks for sticking around, and I hope you had a fun time going through this issue with me. It had tons of fun stuff (that article on the strange and interesting instruments and that Jimmy-Timmy Power Hour comic were my personal highlights) and hopefully some of you can get more entertainment out of all those musical interviews than I did. We even got a Billy C cameo! It doesn’t get more engaging than an old president, does it?

As well, I’d like to reiterate my apology for the time it took to bring this to you all, and I’m hopeful I can pick the pace back up and rebuild my motivation now that I’ve gotten this finished. I’m looking forward to finalizing my aforementioned new Nick Mag Side Issues post, I think that’ll be pretty interesting and add a little spice of variety to the page. Guess we’ll see!

Keep on reading, and maybe listen to your favorite song while you’re at it. I’ll catch you next time!

[scotianostra]

Happy 97th Birthday a true comedy great Stanley Baxter.

Born in Frergus Drive in Glasgow in 1926, Stanley began his long career on BBC Scotland's edition of the Children's Hour. He developed his performing skills further during his national service with the Army's Combined Services Entertainment unit, working alongside comedy actor Kenneth Williams, actor Peter Vaughan, film director John Schlesinger and dramatist Peter Nichols, who used the experience as the basis for his play Privates on Parade.

After a return to Glasgow and civvy street he spent three years at The Citizens Theatre before seeking more work and wider fame by moving to London in 1959, it was a move that paid off straight away, that same year he won a Bafta for co-hosting the satirical sketch show On the Bright Side. He also won two years running, in 1973 and 1974, for The Stanley Baxter Picture Show, and again in 1981 for The Stanley Baxter Series.

Some of his best-loved comedy sketches include Parliamo Glasgow, in which the Glaswegian dialect was presented as a foreign language. It included phrases such as “Izat a marra on yer barra, Clara?” "Zarraburdorahairywullie" and the uniquely Glaswegian word “Sanoffy”, as in “Sanoffy cold day”

Stanley didn't abandon Scotland though, throughout his career he remained a favourite of the Scottish panto circuit, often playing the gloriously costumed dame alongside Angus Lennie, Jimmy Logan or Ronnie Corbett, until he retired in 1992.

In 1994 he returned to radio, appearing in plays and sitcoms. In 1997, he was honoured with a lifetime achievement award at the British Comedy Awards. The Stanley Baxter Playhouse ran on Radio 4 from 2006 until 2014.

Even though he retired from TV comedy some 30 years ago, Stanley Baxter continues to hold a special place in the viewing nation’s heart.

He eats well, likes a glass of wine and enjoys a quiet domesticated life. Well into his 80s he was still cycling and swimming. Even when he was in the public eye, he shunned personal publicity, rarely doing interviews or appearing on chat shows.

In his retirement he has written an autobiography but refuses to allow it to be published until after his death, not apparently because it contains any hugely scandalous stories of his celebrity friends, but because he didn’t fancy "schlepping "round the country doing promotional appearances, press interviews and book signings, let’s hope it is a good few years before it is released then!

A widower since 1997, he says he doesn’t find it difficult to fill his days. “You wonder how you ever had time to work,” he says. “I miss talking to actors. I can relate to actors better than real people. I have so few friends left. “I suppose I’m a bit of a loner. I’m not the kind of person to drop in on the neighbours.”

In 2020 Stanley in an authorised biography, The Real Stanley Baxter told for the first time of his struggles to come to terms with his sexuality, his efforts to keep the fact that he is gay secret and the effect his troubled marriage had on his life.

The book charts the career of Baxter, from his early days to the complex relationship with his wife Moira, his early sexual encounters as a teenager, and the strenuous efforts he made to maintain his privacy in later life, including taking legal action over the publication of the diaries of actor Kenneth Williams, a long-time friend, after he had passed away.

Baxter described his discomfort with his homosexuality in the book, writing: "Anybody would be insane to choose to live such a very difficult life. There are many gay people these days who are fairly comfortable with their sexuality, fairly happy with who they are. I’m not. I never wanted to be gay. I still don’t.”

If you want to know more about Stanley I recommend watching the feature length documentary, Stanley Baxter’s Best Bits - and More, it’s on 5 and you don’t have to sign in to watch the show, it’s just over an hour long so settle down with a cuppa before viewing.

https://www.channel5.com/show/stanley-baxter-s-best-bits-and-more

[velvetsands]

2023: year of ticking things off and getting dreams realised

- won an inaugural new investigator award named after the man who actually inspired me to pursue immunology

- scored a patent approval for my research

- went to amsterdam with my lab, absolutely hated the city but the conference was great

- travelled to a village in belgium and hung with my ancestral relatives, visited my grandfather’s childhood home and had everyone come from near and far for a dinner in my honour. so many tears shed, it has been a childhood dream of mine

- experienced an incredible safari through the serengeti (#celinedion), meet/dance with a maasai tribe, and managed to climb the world’s tallest freestanding mountain followed a couple days in zanzibar

- writing my thesis was surprisingly easy (~4mos) with no corruptions or referencing errors, super proud of my work and my team

- finally my turn to be a conference wag in hong kong, what a superb country(!!!!) so much to do, nightlife, restaurants and the jockey club went above and beyond for everything

- finished my phd thesis with some incredible final results and scored a dean’s award (top 10%) v cool

- moved from sydney to adelaide to be with my love which was tough but ever so rewarding, we did long-distance for 18mos so it was high time

- i started going to the gym almost daily, i tend to my herb garden (a dream), bake and hang out with cats

- currently wfh/a sahg writing my manuscript which is apparently fantastic but i almost cannot bear to look at it anymore

- i was so sad to leave sydney but slow living is truly worth the hype

- we finally scored some funding for a clinical trial after years and yeaaaaaaars of begging so watch this space

- started taking my skincare and haircare more seriously and it has paid off laaaawwwddd

- i feel so adult now and i do soooo many adult things but hey look, i’m 30 in a few weeks so i need to stop thinking i’m still 23 lol

- tall poppy syndrome is a vvvvvv real thing

2024:

- we’re moving to saudi arabia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehehe

- the compound is gorgeous and it will be a wonderful adventure

- actually makes me sad as i adore all of my partner’s colleagues

- but first i have my best friend’s wedding and i have to present to a STADIUM full of people in san diego

- oh and turn 30! yay!

- now that i don’t have to read journal papers anymore, i have the time to read non-fiction and would like to keep that up

- publish my manuscript publish publish publish

- leaning into the fact that happiness is only a state briefly entered into, it is not a constant state of being

- but that doesn’t mean life has to be monotonous either, just roll with the punches

- drink less alcohol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- work on correct gym form!!!!!!!!!!

- look inwards for validation first

- be sure to keep in contact with friends, no matter how seemingly draining it is and how much you put it off, you always feel better after it so just make the call and or return the text

- genuinely be compassionate to and understanding of yourself

- continue to cultivate my relationships (specifically with my partner) and ensure needs are being met both ways

- improve sleep hygiene as my next self-care item to tackle