#but why would you take a perfectly good plot and romance and just ruin it with detailed sex scene after detailed sex scene

[ididsomethingbadly]

I almost posted yesterday about how much I was loving Archer's Voice but I was only about 1/3 of the way in. I'm glad I didn't because now I hate this book so much. I have about 100 pages left and at this point I'm just hate reading it so that I can rank it last on my ranked list of books read this year.

[jakethesequel]

I did finally get around to watching the barbie movie since my family was also watching it. I think it was probably the best movie that they could have made (which I mean to be read at least as derogatory as it is complimentary). It's well-made, and produced to a very high quality with the set and costume design etc. It's nice that it is at least in conversation with feminist criticisms laid at the Barbie brand for years and attempts to address some of them. And it does answer some, suggesting more diversity in their dolls, that it should represent less of an unreachable ideal for womanhood, that being a perfectly feminine Barbie Girlboss is just as restrictive a role as the domestic motherhood of earlier dolls, etc. That's a good message! It's a fine feminism 101 for a movie whose primary market is children, and the B-plot about Ken not needing to be a paragon of toxic masculinity or have a romantic relationship to be worthwhile is a decent one for young boys too.

But along the way to that message is where the movie kind of gets awkward, in its side plots and digressions. By far the worst of it is the inclusion of a Barbie Mount Rushmore and an incredibly tasteless metaphor to the smallpox plague that devastated Indigenous people in the Americas. Both go entirely unremarked on, which is indefensible. That aside, there are quite a few lesser issues that maybe don't ruin the movie but certainly become head-scratcher and leave the movie feeling incomplete.

For example, the Mattel boardroom. They're portrayed as buffoonish, but never malicious, because Mattel will sign off on a movie that laughs at them but not one that will seriously criticize them. Whatever, that part's probably unavoidable when Mattel is signing the cheques. The problem is that they're not just buffoonish, they're buffoonishly misogynistic. It's an all-male boardroom, for one, and the characters repeatedly make incredibly misogynistic statements. As far as I remember, this is never resolved! It's lightly criticized and then moved past without any real change, which really neuters the movie's criticism of patriarchy when all the feminist characters make no effort to change that. While it works with Ken for him to be misogynist due mostly to ignorance rather than hostility and be forgiven, that's because he's mostly there as a metaphor for young boys who haven't learned better. It's really toothless to treat a boardroom full of adult men actively enjoying patriarchal authority the same way and the movie probably would have been better with that whole plotline replaced with the FBI or something.

Also, Trans Barbie. I think it's incredibly great to see Hari Nef on screen, unquestioned to be just as feminine as the other Barbies. But while I love the representation, it becomes apparent that this is not a Trans Barbie, but a trans actress playing a cis Barbie. Barbieland in general has an extremely strict and seemingly unchanging gender divide, Kens and Barbies. There's no indication that going from one to the other, changing your plastic body, is possible. So the movie really fails to send a positive message to trans kids, who aren't gonna know the minutia behind each Barbie's actress. Alan is sort of a queer analogue, being not a Ken or a Barbie and having an implied romantic interest in Ken, but it's only ever implied, almost as a joke like Sugar Daddy Ken and Magic Earring Ken (notably they never mention why those Kens were discontinued). In general the movie takes a wide berth around any queer issues that can't be couched in a joke, and I can only imagine that's Mattel's influence again. Like the previous Mattel point, this really serves to diminish the movie's message. You can only go so far to criticize patriarchy if you refuse to include a queer angle. Especially given the focus on the relationship between Barbie and Ken, it becomes awkward when the only options given mention are "cishet romance" and "no romance." It feels stilted that every Ken wants a completely disinterested Barbie as an inherent rule. The glaring omission of talking about queer issues (outside of jokes) in the movie seems purposeful and targeted on Mattel's part.

[cakebarn]

The Trouble with Writing Romance💕

I’ve been noticing a pattern over the past few years of popular shows and stories ending with a romantic pairing that leaves fans disappointed or angry. Why do romantic subplots cause so much controversy and contempt? And how can we write them better?

1.) “Earning” it

In this context, earning it doesn’t mean a protagonist “earns” a romantic relationship because they did X thing, and therefore deserve it. Here, earning it conveys giving the audience a sense of proper pay-off.

In order for the audience to feel a sense of pay-off with the story, there are a few criteria that need to be met within the romance: 1.) The story needs to convey that the characters know each other well. Do these characters understand each other? Do they know about the other’s dreams, aspirations, fears, etc? You can get very detailed here, down into knowing each other’s ticks and quirks, but the bottom line is, these characters need to know each other on a deeper level than just acquaintances. 2.) The characters need to change somehow because of the romance. Love changes us, and can open us to change. Does this romance give your characters a new perspective or new goals? Does it make them want to change in some way? A love story that doesn’t convey that both characters understand each other and have had an impact on one another is a love story that is achieved without truly being earned.

2.) When to Listen to Fans, and When to Ignore

Nowadays, fans play a big part in the story-writing process. Authors and writers can access 24/7 feedback and opinions on their stories and can be compelled to adjust their story accordingly. While this can give a show with a lackluster love story new inspiration and a positive new direction, it can often be the reason a perfectly good romantic story is ruined. There are a lot of reasons why fans may prefer a romantic ship or detest another. Some of those reasons are valid, and others are not. It’s your job as a writer to use discretion to determine the value of the feedback you’re getting and whether to incorporate it into your story. (One helpful tip: for m/f romantic plots, keep in mind that sexism is alive and well. The more popular a story, the bigger the audience for that story, and the more likely the audience feedback will be shaped by gendered biases.)

3.) The Importance of Proper Build-up

This goes hand-in-hand with “earning it”. Did this romantic pair get the proper amount of space within the story to work up to a satisfying ending? Be sure to space it out throughout the story. Don’t wait until the end after the rest of the story has been told to have the romance play out. The middle of the story should be where the meat of your romantic subplot is found.

Sometimes writers have the luxury of writing their entire story in one piece before publication. Other times, the story is sent out one part at a time. As you are writing your romance, ask yourself these questions: 1) How much of the romance has already been written? If your story is almost done, it may be too late to go in an entirely new direction without leaving the audience feeling cheated or lead-on. 2) Does this romance make sense within the story you’ve written? Does the romance compliment the rest of the story, or does the romance cause problems with the plot, pacing, theme, tone, etc? 3) Will the audience be surprised by the romantic ending? A good rule of thumb: of all things that can be a plot-twist within a story, who the characters romantically end up with should never be one of them.

4.) Characters and Character Arcs

Sometimes you can have an ending in mind and write the rest of the story to get to that point. Other times, the story you’ve written so far only produces a few possibilities for a satisfying ending. At a certain point, the characters you wrote take on a life of their own. There are things they just simply would not do or say without breaking character, and audiences will pick up on any glaring idiosyncrasies. Never force a romance that just doesn’t work. And don’t write a romance that will only work if characters do or say things out of character. Lastly, make sure your character arcs align with the plot points of the romance. Characters should grow and change as a story progresses. Be sure that the romantic plot works with this growth, and doesn’t have characters lose that growth or stagnate.

5.) Romantic Tropes

Despite what people say, romantic tropes aren’t something you have to avoid! A storyline or plot becomes a trope or formulaic because people liked it enough to repeat it. These tropes are popular for a reason. That being said, there are sometimes problematic or toxic themes underneath these tropes. Be sure to unpack these tropes and what they can offer your story, while making sure you understand the valid criticisms they sometimes receive.

[animebw]

Okay. Now that I’ve... mostly calmed down from the red fog of rage that just descended over me, let me try to give some actually coherent thoughts as to why this development is garbage.

You see this? This is these characters’ second ever conversation. They literally met once before at the convenience store, then they found each other in the street later by chance, and now they’re getting lunch together. And that first meeting at the convenience store was barely even a conversation. This show is trying to sell us on Arisu being overwhelmed by emotion for this guy after a fun little encounter and a single goddamn lunchtime chat.

And sure, we don’t know what the guy’s deal is. We don’t know why he’s so interested in Arisu; maybe there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for his side of the story. But we know Arisu. We know the kind of person she is. And the kind of person she is, is not someone who would just get swept away over feelings for some random guy just because he did something that reminded her of her best friend. This isn’t just lazy, contrived romantic writing in a show that’s usually so good at developing romance; this is a fucking insult to Arisu’s character. It ignores everything that makes her interesting, everything that makes her unique, and forces her into a crash course with some random guy just because the plot demanded it.

And as if that wasn’t enough of its own...

Look, fiction isn’t reality. The things we enjoy seeing in stories don’t necessarily reflect what we want the real world to look like. I have more than my fair share of problematic fantasies that I know would be absolutely reprehensible in a real-world context. So a story having an age-gap romance like this isn’t the end of the world, even if I personally can’t stand them most of the time.

But when that age-gap romance comes at the expense of a character who has no business being involved with this kind of situation? When it’s this obviously contrived and unearned from even a basic writing standpoint? When it takes a character I love this fucking much and throws her into the garbage for no good reason?

Yeah, I think I have the right to be fucking pissed off at that.

This sucks. This really, truly sucks. It’s not just problematic like Kagura or dated like Ritsu; it’s just fucking terrible in every conceivable way. And if this subplot ends up swallowing Arisu and ruining what made her special to me, I don’t even want to imagine how furious I’m going to be.

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Yup, Sure Was a Finale

I had an epiphany. The reason why I never re-watched the final two parts of Sozin’s Comet even though I’ve popped in episodes at random many times over the years isn’t that I can’t bear the sadness of seeing one of the best, most engaging narratives out there come to an end.

It’s simply that the finale isn’t all that good.

Some honorable mentions of what was enjoyable.

(+) This

Just this.

(+) The Church of Zutara has another convert

“Are you sure they don’t get together?” Hubster, 2020

(+) The tragedy of Azula

And the fact that it’s acknowledged as such. I hope Zuko will do his best to get her help and have a relationship with her…

(+) Sokka being a big bro

And the whole airship sequence in general. It’s wonderfully paced and plotted, with moments of humor, real stakes, Toph being both badass and a scared crying kid, Sokka strategizing and protecting, Suki saving the day, and non-benders being instrumental in thwarting the bad guy firebender’s plans. Would be shame if Bryke never portrayed them this capable ever again…

And now for the main course.

(-) Blink and its over

The wrap-up feels too quick (hashtag Needs More ROtK-style False Endings). A part of this is due to how fast the story goes from the thick of the action to hastily tying up a bunch of loose ends, but the larger issue is how Book 3’s uneven pacing comes home to roost. After spending half a season on filler episodes that at best subtly flesh out established characters while dancing around a huge lionturtle-shaped hole, and at worst contradict the theme of “no one is born bad” with “you’re a hot mess because your great-grandfathers didn’t get along too well”, the frantic “go go go” rush of the second half screeches to a halt with “they won and everyone was happy because now the right people have power and it will be all good from now on yup nothing more to deal with baiiiii”.

Yes, I know, it’s a kids’ show. But goddamn, this particular kids’ show has proven so many times it can do better than the expected tropiness. Showing the characters in their roles as builders of a new world was the least that could have been done.

Oh well!

(-) Ursa

We’ll never know. There will never be a story that delves into this. Yup. Shall forever remain but an intriguing mystery. Is good, though. Mystery is better than a story where Ursa shares her son’s penchant for forgetfulness. Imagine how embarrassing that would be. Speaking of which…

(-) What does Mai see in this jerkbender?

Look, I like to harp a lot on the mess of inconsistent writing that’s Mai but let’s unpack this scene from her perspective, shall we?

Zuko forgot about her! It totally slipped his mind that the one person who prioritized the safety of his dumb ass was rotting in the worst prison in the Fire Nation—because of him! And she was rotting there long enough after the final Agni Kai for the news of Zuko’s upcoming coronation to spread and her uncle to feel sufficiently secure to release her. But then the coronation scene is attended by every single member of Gaang & Friends that was imprisoned?

So what this tells me is that either a) the invasion force had the ability to break themselves out the whole time and for some reason decided not to exercise it until after the war was over, b) Zuko forgot about them as well and no one thought to remind him there were prisons full of POWs until Mai arrived, or, and that’s even better, c) Zuko took care to free every single resistance fighter while making sure Mai would be the one to stay behind bars.

Never thought I’d say this but Mai? Honey? You deserve so much better.

(-) “What does Katara want?”

Asked no one in the writers’ room ever, apparently.

This is not so much anti Cataang as anti romance stories that pay attention to the needs, opinions, and wants of only one partner in general. Over the previous 60 episodes, Katara actively expressed romantic interest in Aang exactly, wait for it,

Once.

And it got retconned out of relevance by the following two interactions where the possibility of a romantic relationship came up, making the Headband dance pretty easy to reclassify as just one of those examples where Aang “teaches” Katara to have fun (as if one of the main obstacles to her having fun wasn’t him constantly fooling around and offloading his duties). And because the writers not only didn’t succeed in portraying Katara’s internal state of mind, but also failed to root her reluctance to pursue a relationship in outside circumstances that could change, her sudden state of unconfused once Aang steps into the spotlight has a single canonical explanation that as much as approaches coherency.

The fact is, though, that trying to interpret canon Cataang from a Watsonian perspective is an exercise in foolishness. Because there is no Watsonian justification for the ship and never has been. Bryke simply conceived of Katara as nothing but a tropey prize for Aang, never saw her as anything beyond that, and were perfectly happy to go on and immortalize her as a passive broodmare for the rest of her life.

And I fully intend to die mad about it.

(-) Iroh dips

OK, it’s been long apparent that the show doesn’t intend to do anything about Iroh’s complicity in AzulOzai’s regime in any meaningful way, and that his sole motivation for doing anything whatsoever is Zuko whom he views as a replacement son which is supposed to be good for some reason. But the finale has him abandon even that, and instead turns him full-on YOLO, idgaf anymore. It really throws Iroh’s supposed love for Zuko into doubt when his last act in the entire show is to take a half-educated 16-year old with no political savvy or an heir to secure a dynastic continuity and plomp him on the throne of a war-mongering imperialist regime where the entirety of the militarist and ruling class is guaranteed to fight him tooth and nail for power.

(I sure hope Mai’s ready to start popping out babies by tea-time otherwise the whole country is fukd in about a week)

Christ, how hard would it be to have Iroh keep the throne warm for a few years while Zuko is getting ready to succeed him? Not only would it make the whole FN reformation bit quite likelier to occur, it would require Iroh’s hedonistic ass to actually sacrifice something for once. And not having Zuko ascend to power, instead spending some time bettering and educating himself first, would be a wonderful message that no matter what you endured and overcame, you never stop growing. A kids’ show, remember?

(-) The conquering of Ba Sing Se

Gee, I feel so blessed to have my attention diverted from battlefields which actually matter to an old dude vanity project I would have been perfectly happy to assume resolved itself off-screen.

The White Lotus in general just bugs me. I was fine with the individual characters and their overall passivity when they were portrayed as lone dissenters living under circumstances where it wasn’t really possible for any single person to mount a meaningful resistance. But as members of a far-reaching shadowy organization that’s left the real fight to a bunch of kids for 59 episodes straight and didn’t turn up until a perfect opportunity presented itself to take control of the largest city in the world and bask in the spotlight?

Yeah, no.

Similarly to the lionturtle-ex-machina, the White Lotus represents a huge missed opportunity for a season-long storytelling. Here’s just a brief list of what they could have been doing throughout Book 3:

orchestrating a Fire Nation uprising;

gathering those directly persecuted by AzulOzai’s regime to help Zuko keep his hold on power once he’s crowned;

establishing themselves as a viable alternative to Ozai;

sabotaging Fire Nation’s war efforts from the inside;

countering Fire Nation propaganda (Asha Greyjoy’s pinecones, anyone?);

running a supply network to alleviate the suffering of Earth Kingdom citizens.

Instead, they sit on their asses until the time comes to claim personal glory.

You know what, good on Bryke for making me conclude that in comparison, the Freedom Fighters were perfectly unproblematic, actually.

(-) Fire Lord Dead-by-Dawn

Yes, a kids’ show, I know! But ffs, this is the same kids’ show that came up with Long Feng and portrayed courtly intrigue, kingly puppets, secret police, spy networks, and information wars. Was it really too much of me to expect something other than “enlightened despot solves everything”? Especially if said enlightened despot has persisting anger issues, no personal support system, no base of followers, and no political experience whatsoever?

If Zuko’s actually serious about regaining the Fire Nation’s honor (i.e. by dismantling the country’s military machine, decolonizing the Earth Kingdom, paying reparations to everyone and their lemur, and funding any and all cultural restoration projects Aang and the SWT come up with), then there is no way, no way in the universe that he doesn’t face a civil war, deposing, and execution within a month.

One reason why his future as a Fire Lord seems rather bleak is that little’s been shown about the actual subjects of AzulOzai’s regime. While we get a vague reassurance that “no Toph, they’re not born bad” (le shockings), they largely remain a voiceless uniform mass of brainwashed clapping seals. What is their view on the Fire Nation’s crimes? Do they associate their condition with their country’s war-mongering? How will they react when Zuko starts dismantling the country piece by piece to rebuild it, bringing it to economic ruin? What will they do when noble Ozai loyalists come out of the woodwork and begin rounding them up under the banner of “Make the Fire Nation Great Again?”

I have no idea, and Zuko doesn’t either because he’s unironically more qualified to rule the Earth Kingdom than his own people.

You know what would have been better? Fire Lord Iroh, White Lotus pulling the strings to maintain the regime, and Crown Prince/People’s Champion Zuko travelling the Fire Nation with Aang and an army of tutors to promote the new boss, only to realize that absolute monarchy is kinda crap for the people he’s one day supposed to rule and gaining their support by ceding some power to them.

I’d laser holes into my TV due to how much I’d enjoy watching that.

(-) All hail Avatar Rock

Literally and metaphorically. Aang doesn’t sacrifice anything, gets everything, and the clever solution of going about getting said everything is handed to him on a silver platter, requiring no active participation on his part whatsoever.

He doesn’t work to unblock his chakras, spiritually or physically.

He only speaks to his past lives to get a pat on the back and a bow-tied solution he could mindlessly follow.

Energy-bending doesn’t require any sacrifice from him, leaves no lasting marks, and only serves for the narrative to praise him as the rare individual that’s unbendable and thus so very very special.

The most infuriating thing is, however, that Aang is clearly shown as being able to beat Ozai without either the Avatar state, or energy-bending.

And he chooses not to. From this moment on, Aang no longer fights to save the world. He fights to preserve his beliefs, going directly against the instructions of his past lives and effectively reneging on his duties as the Avatar.

Again.

It’s not like you can’t portray Aang’s faithfulness to his spiritual beliefs as the key to beating Ozai and saving the world. But that’s not what the show did. There is no link between Aang sparing Ozai and securing a better future, quite to the contrary—Ozai’s survival ends up being a massive problem for the continuation of Zuko’s rule, and consequently a threat to the world at large. His survival benefits Aang and no one else.

Aang’s spiritual purity and his status as a savior of the world are allowed to coexist only due to a deliberate stroke of a writer’s pen.

And I hate it.

Welp, nothing to do about it now except to bury myself up to my tits in fix-it fics I guess.

[rueluxprince]

Why Does Jin Guangyao Have So Many Goddamn Ships

This dude. I don’t know what is with him. He can be shipped with so many goddamn people, and you can find something in canon (show/novel/audio drama) to justify it. You like a specific trope? He’ll have a ship that gives it to you. (Lets extrapolate some from canon)

Qin Su/Jin Guangyao: Naive yet headstrong heiress trying to fight on the battlefield and contribute to the greater good. Bit off more than she could chew and was rescued by a gentle and quietly self-assured young man. Romance and comedy ensues as she vows to make him her husband! Flowers! Hijinks! Enlisting quirky handmaidens for advice! Jin Guangshan doesn’t exist in this one!

Lan Xichen/Jin Guangyao: hero saves the beauty, gay edition. Young bookkeeper wants to be worthy of noble young master’s esteem, works his ass off, puts himself in years of danger, finally climbs to the top and now must deal with the “is he or is he not” of romance in politics! Is he or is he not? He’s always at your house and gives you a free pass to his house and draws you exclusive paintings and only attends conferences hosted by you and trusts you completely! But he never says anything! Cue the yearning! The soft touches! Reminders of etiquette! Swooning into strong arms!

Jiang Cheng/Jin Guangyao: reluctant and accidental co-parents reluctantly and accidentally fall in love in the long years of raising a precocious nephew into adulthood. The kid turned out surprisingly okay, with a commendably hard moral backbone. One realizes it’s nice to have a perpetually angry grape ready to blow up in your defense. The other realizes someone closest to him is already fulfilling all his marriage requirements and he didn’t even know it! Domestic bliss! Cute kids! Internal struggles of sexuality! The italicized oh!

Nie Mingjue/Jin Guangyao: Noble and righteous leader recognizing and promoting downtrodden but talented beginner –> no good opinion forthcoming but still wants to care his own way older brother x turning down a dark path but still wants to go back the way things were younger brother –> So much resentment fierce corpse x unable to forget the guilt murderer –> they are buried together. Deteriorating relationship! Shakespearean tragedy! Ultimate darkness! Death! Eternity with each other!

(Honorable mention: 3zun - a wholesome ouroboros loop of death, mystery and found family)

Nie Huaisang/Jin Guangyao: you ever have that one childhood friend that takes care of you and indulges in your oddities and protects you with murderous looks and a scarred back even though he’s frailer than you are; and then that childhood friend murders your older brother but leaves you alive and still takes cares of you and spoils you and would drop everything to help you with a made up problem? And so you’re now left seething in rage because how dare he ruin you and love you all without pause?! Cue the revenge plots! Lies! Deceit! Best actor winners going toe to toe on the world’s biggest stage! Inner conflict! Angst! More conflicted plotting!

Mo Xuanyu->Jin Guangyao: You’re weak and a mess and constantly bullied and the only one in this huge and scary house that ever showed you kindness is your older half brother. He becomes a god in your eyes, all golden and brilliant and surrounded by equally golden and beautiful people you can never touch. But you still try despite everything because he’s the sun and he wanted you to thrive, and you’re just a little moth ramming head first into the flames. And when you’re scorched to the bone and everyone still keeps on trying to stomp you into ash and you finally decide to take revenge, you still can’t bring yourself to blame that splendid sun who were never yours in the first place. Resentments! Unrequited love! More angst! Inner courtyard intrigues! More tragedy! Poetic inner monologues!

Su She->Jin Guangyao: generous and focused ruler x dedicated and competent supporter. He gives you all the respect you need and you know in your soul you will die for him and you don’t care one whit about it. You protect his heart but you always stood one step behind. The position beside him is taken, often by a soft figure in golden silk, or an eminent figure in blue satin. Jealousy! Loud expressions of loyalty! Ego management! Pining and simping!

Xue Yang/Jin Guangyao - friends who murder together stays together. One causes wanton destruction and the other picks up after them. Not because he particularly cares that people are getting hurt but the cost analysis tells him it’s not worth the clean up. You pay for my shopping, I rip out the tongues of anyone that insults your mother. Lighthearted talks of murder! Scheming with friends! Lots of cursing! Dubious experiments! Lots of magical cursing! Friends with benefits!

Wen Ruohan/Meng Yao: local megalomanic tyrant sees this random ass kid all bloodied up and gleaming with spite and went “I would like to raise that one. I’ll give it a sword and I’ll teach him stuff and I won’t say I appreciate him but I will definitely save him from imminent danger.” And that kid acknowledges said tyrant as his teacher and tortures for him pretends to love him, all the while stealing his secrets and preparing to stab him in the back to win the war. Struggle! Trauma! Living in hardship! Double agent reminding themselves not to be conflicted! Psychological torture!

Wen Chao + Wen Xu: uhhhhhh, the canoodling with stepmom trope? Do we even go that far on tumblr? It’s a possibility I’ve considered for about two seconds and now I wish I could wash my brain out.

Jin Zixun~~Jin Guangyao: the “I know I’m slapping the me two years ago in the face with what I’m doing right now but it’s love so I don’t care” trope? All the Jins do this. The year before you were all “why are you always here you don’t belong here you bastard son” and now you’re all “wheres A-Yao he promised he would ambush this public menace with me owo?!??!!??” What a weakass motherfucker with weakass principles.

Honorable mentions:

Wei Wuxian + Jin Guangyao: best in law dynamics, potentially. Terrorizing the Cloud Recesses, eating lots of spicy food, hiding secrets in perfectly groomed hair, causing aneurysms in Lan Qiren, violating all the OH&S regulations Etc.

Lan Wangji + Jin Guangyao: best in law dynamics, actually. It’s a whole battle. Jin “I am physically incapable of seeing someone and not wanting to take care of it” Guang “yes I will be calling you Wangji and trying to give you stuff and show audible concern for your love life” Yao vs. Lan “I do not wish to know you I do not care for your seating arrangements do not ever invite me to your banquets again” Wang “just because you’re maybe dating my precious older brother does not mean I will not refute you to your face about my boyfriend at your banquet in front of said brother” Ji.

(And yes the last two are purely familial/platonic. And also everyone else? You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift is the most fitting theme song for half of them)

~more MDZS metas under #my thing# tag~

[melis-ash]

have you watched elite's season 4 finale already? what are your takes on caye and phillipe? no judgements here tho, just want to know your opinion on them

 Hello, nonny! Yes, I did. My opinion about Caye and Philippe has several different aspects (which a litle bit conflict with each other).

Lets write long post.)) Sorry for mistakes and typos, English is not my first language and I`m not really good with grammar.

1) Caye and Philippe story is feminist retelling-reverse of the Beauty and the Beast, where main characters didn`t became couple and The Beauty left her Beast not for Gaston other romance, but for her own path. And their relationship helped the Beast to realize his past mistakes and make to want to fix it, even if it`s too late . Comparing with many other things in that season that storyline was not bad. Really. There MANY problems with s4, I think the best stolyline had Rebe and Mencia, it was really good, and in my personal opinion, despite many flaws, Caye and Philippe storyline is second one for me. Kinda it was not really good, but it had plot, idea, composition and message. Writers knew very clear, what they tried to say, and despite obvious lack of screen time, they handle it, and this story, despite it doesn`t connect with main plot, resonate with main storyline on the level of their ideas. (About it later.) I know, Georgina is feminist, so I wonder, could she give some advice writers? Kinda “it can work better if...” something like it.

2) Personally I`m very disappointed how OOC was Caye in that season and how few screen time she had. For me Caye from s4 feels like too much different person than in s2-3. I wanted character development for her, but something more slow and realistic. S4 Cayetana feels like all her character development happened between s3 and s4 (and partly in special, which really was very good), and I don`t believe in it. Caye from s4 is good character, but there is no real connection with Caye from s2-3.

I knew, she was very upopular character in s2-3, so maybe creators afraid to gave her too much screen time. But also they still wanted she was part of story and write redemption arc for her. And honestly, anon, these two thing can`t work together well. When you write redemption arc for well written nuanced character that Cayetana was in s2-3, you need give character enough screen time and nuances. But it seems, s4 writers don`t care enough about writing S1-3 characters in character. In s2-3 Caye was bad girl, but also she was comedy relief (but s4 has very few comedy moments), she had family (where the fuck her mother and granddad now? We know only that her mother cannot work in Las Ensinas, but don`t know, why), we saw, that she did`t sleep almost, because she learn in Las Ensinas, worked as janitor and still hung out with rich kids. (I think I began feel compassion for her, when realized it). It that seson she almost has not other scenes than with Philippe. OK, she was pariah in school during previous year, but if writers began that things with Caye and Rebe friendship, can they continue it. Rebe and Caye both had problem with their love interests and they never discussed it. Only time they speak about Philippe was in 402. Also Benjamin fired Azucena, and wanted to expel Samu and Omar, but Caye still works there? And Benjamin still protects her even? Why? I mean, after whole thing with scam in s2. Maybe it because protection of Polo`s mothers, but it never was said in s4 even. It seems, Benjamin knows things about her story with Polo (like he knows about Philippe`s past), and it could be really interesting possiblity to bring on scene that aspect of situation and Benjamin`s character and him and Caye interaction. 

Also there is something with Georgina`s acting in s4, in most of scenes she acts as different character, so maybe it was and her (as actress) decision too. I wrote before, she is feminist, and maybe she wanted to bring more feminists vibes in s4 Caye, because it makes storyline works better? Given how few connection with previous seasons on script level her s4 story had, it make sense even, it`s just feel OOC for me, because Caye is not feminist at all. She is strong and ambitious, but she is not type of women what call themselves feminists, and when she said “I became my own Fairy Godmother” in s2, she meant that she was forced to do it. Caye was girl who wanted to be princess from old school Disney animation. In s3 she wanted to live and study on Polo mother money in London and was fully OK with it. When she refused their proposition, it was because thoughts, that Polo could be alive and even more or lesser happy in other school without those her messages, haunted her. Plus when Polo died, he thought Caye was with him more because his money than because Polo himself. I remember, in her first scene Caye read  The Second Sex, but it was spectacle for her schoolmates. And when she spoke with them about her fake rich life, it always was “look how rich and glamour I am”. Partly she spoke in this way because she knew very few about rich people`s life, but also there were some of her dreams. She wanted to be rich and and be part of this glamour life. In s3 she became in some way, and she had a lot of possiblities to understand how many shit, pain and tragedies can hide for glamour facade. Theoretically she knew it before. But she was exctremely poor, so it was a little bit difficult for her to think about it too much.

3) So I think more mention of Caye`s story from s2-3 could make her and Philippe story better. Philippe himself have same problem as Polo in some way: he is rich guy, and his mother indulged him too much. Caye saw how Polo`s mother indulged him and saw where it ended. Not good for Polo and many other people. Marina and Polo could be alive and Samu`s family could live with him in Spain, if Polo`s mothers raised their son better. Even if Caye don`t care much about Guzman or Samu and she never knew Marina, she had enough time between seasons to reflect of situation. So with more s2-3 reference that “matter of education thing” Caye says to Philippe`s mother could sound not only as sort of feminist  slogan, but as something very personal and painful for Caye. She was in love with boy, who was spoiled too much by his parents (like Philippe), and it brought a lof pain him, his friends, Caye. I don`t say there are not at all attempts include previous Caye experience in s4. For example, when Caye does google research about Philippe and finds nothings, she is still suspicious because she know, how easy money could erase some thing.  Also that thing with Pilippe`s mother. I think after conversation with her,Caye realized that Philippe`s and Polo`s promblems had very much same roots. But such moments really have not enough space. Guzman had at least one scene, where he speak about his reflection on s1 evens (where he compares Mencia and Marina). I would like to see something like it with Caye.

4) Many things in Caye and Philippe storyline feel offscreen. We know they regularly talk in school, but see very few of it etc. Actors have good chemistry, and since they both like fashion design, it feels enough for beginning of communication, plus Caye had crush on Philippe long before they met, plus she was first who was really friendly with him in new school (in some way it`s repeat of Caye and Polo story, but with more positive vibes). But I want to see more illustration, why Philippe fell in love with Caye so much.

5) Now about Philippe himself. I saw many hateposts and hatecomments about him, and it`s really funny, because I constantly see how many people in this fandom love Polo and think he deserved better, despite Polo is murderer. Yes, he killed Marina out of emotion, but she is fucking dead. She will never resurrect. Guzman will remember till grave that his best friend killed his sister and then was killed by Guzman`s ex-girlfriend, because policy failed to handle their job well. Samu`s brother was forced to left Spain because it. But it took 2 seasons for Polo to understand he needs go to policy and confess he killed Marina. Caye didn`t understood how wrong her actions were till Polo`s death. I don`t know how long was Elodie`s rape, but at least Philippe didn`t need someone`s corpse to realize his mistakes. Inside standart of this show that guy isn`t hopeless. “Everybody deserve second chance” was important point in Caye`s story in s2-3, so now I wonder how writers will play this card in s5 in relationship between Philippe and Caye. 

Also I want to say I was wrong, when doubted in Pol Granch acting, he`s good additon to Elite cast.

6) Caye x Philippe storyline and main storyline. In that seson Elite brings of scene, in additon of another murder and drug traid, sex crimes. Prostitution, rapes. It`s interesting, that connection here takes place through Ari, girl, who has serious problem with sexual behavior, when she`s drunk. She`s know it`s perfectly, but also she knows, that when woman says “no”, it`s means “no” and end of story. I really like her role in Caye and Philippe story and I hope in s5 there will be at least some scenes with her and Caye. Also interesting point were Ari`s word that she never report to the police without prove. It feels ambigous. She knows, Phillippe is not angel at all. But also there is other side of coin. I think, she also knows, reputation can be ruined very easy. During s4 there was subplot with discussion club. And Samu speak that ex-criminals cannot become somebody else, even if they wants. Their reputation in society was ruined. In final of Philippe story he sent Elodie his confession. So maybe writers tried to write about theme “can criminal, who admitted his mistakes, to became somebody else?” through season and I think they will continue it in s5.

Sorry if this all sounds muddled and too long. Maybe later I will make some additon into reblogs to this post, I don`t know.

[binniesthighs]

two tails | reader x minho |

Three 

Pairing: self insert, female reader x lee minho 

Genre: strangers to lovers, neighbors to lovers, fluff 

Tags: neighbors au, comfort fic, catowner!minho, catowner!reader, author!reader, bestfriend!seungmin, floristnpunk!jisung, gradstudent!jeongin, agedup!skz, slow burn, plot driven, gradual romance, lil bit of angst, strained parental relationship, explicit language, mentions of food and alcohol, mentions of previous kinda sad relationships 

Word count: 5.4k (y e e h a w) 

Tagging: @lauraneuuh​

Chapters 

P | ONE | TWO | THREE | ?

zeal noun 

: eagerness and ardent interest in the pursuit of something: fervor 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Seungmin never liked your cooking, or at least, he’d often mumble this into his spoon while beginning his second serving. He was probably just being nice, or respectful. Your best friend of four years had never been less. 

Aside from the fact the he had a 70 pound golden retriever, never had you once seen a strand of that golden hair cling to the cloth of his winter coats. In the autumn, he would drive you in his hand-me-down ‘91 Mitsubishi to the city where you would tutor the English students just so you wouldn’t have to bear the cold of the subway. In the summers he would toss soju down his throat with you, sitting on the carpet of your living room and turning his head to the side with a hand raised to hide his glass. In the spring, he would remember your birthday--several months before his--and take you to coffee shops and bookstores, then the grocery store (which he knew you hated) and would buy for you the most expensive beef he could find. 

You would cook the meat for the two of you, and he would say that he liked it...even if you had charred it black on the edges. 

Seungmin flicked at the little aluminum tab on his beer can while he watched you murder yet another plate of perfectly fine vegetables on your stovetop. 

“At least it smells nice.” You flipped the circle of white onion. 

“It does.” He returned, nonchalant, flicking the beer tab a little poink. 

“You’re being uncharacteristically quiet. Too tired to complain about those dicks from the marketing team? They put you on a shitty pitch again didn’t they?” 

“Every pitch is a shitty pitch there. God, you wouldn’t believe the kinds of slogans that they make me say sometimes. It’s humiliating.” 

“Hey, you’re the one that took the pay raise over that job at that high school.” 

“Well, you didn’t have rent staring you dead in the face and a dog that’s practically active and sentient enough to be a real child.” He slugged down a sip of his drink. “I’m a single father you know.” 

“As if!” You choked out your laughter. “Since when did you turn into Hyunjin? You were never one for dramatics anyway.” 

“Go get your vegetables, they’ll burn.” He nodded his head to the stove. The thing was, they were already burnt. 

You salvaged what you could of the vegetables then placed them over your rice balls (not intended to be balls in the first place) and the chicken strips which had undoubtedly been seasoned just a little too much. You slid the ceramic bowl in front of him. At least it was steaming. That was a good sign. 

Seungmin nodded a little in thanks, then let out a less than obvious sigh before taking his first bite. 

“Spicy...but good.” 

The way that his breath sounded thin made it convincing enough to you that it wasn’t just “spicy.” 

He scrunched up his face in that adorably puppy-like way that you had long gotten used to. 

“Really. Tell me. It isn’t the pitches. Don’t pretend like I can’t read you.” 

Your best friend squeezed his eyes shut with a rather generous slug of his beer. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Whaaaat?” You whined a little while opening up your own can. “Oh my god. It’s that girl from the art division. She has a boyfriend doesn’t she? Dammit.” 

“No.” Your friend drew the disdain in his eyes up to you from the chicken that had made his nose start to run. He wiped at it quickly. 

“I hope it’s not my mother that’s getting to you. She’s too damn nosy for her own good and twice as cocky as she should be. Don’t listen to her. What did she tell you anyway?” 

Seungmin poked at his food with his fork then twisted a crispy-tipped red pepper. “Have you talked to him again?”

“--Minho?”

You shied at the memory of meeting him on his morning run two days prior. He would go out at nearly 8:00 on the dot every morning, just when the sun started to peek into the dewy pink and blue mornings.

“You should put on a sweater if you’re going to get up this early for those plants of yours. Don’t want you catching a cold.”

“Yes.” You answered your friend. A tiny ache pinged at your chest--and it wasn’t the kind that felt all twisted. “He asked me to watch the meteor shower with him this weekend. I hope I can cook something edible for him.”

Seungmin’s knee bounced, “Aren’t you at least at little suspicious of him?”

“Suspicious? Why would I be?”

“You hardly even know anything about him, or where he came from, what he does for a living--”

“--Now you’re starting to sound like my mother Seung. Relax. Besides, sometimes it doesn’t take much to feel...comfortable around a person. I mean, look at us! Soju nights started like, three weeks after we met. And I do know where he works. He works for a company that makes windows; fancy ones.” 

“Windows?” He cocked a brow. 

“He did say that it was kind of boring...” 

“I just--” Your friend sighed out, resting anxious hands on his knees. Here he was again, being nice and respectful, like always. “--You could get hurt if you’re not careful.” 

“What?”

“I’m saying, don’t get your hopes up.” 

“Geez Seung...” Your voice trailed off with a different pain in your chest. This was the kind that twisted. 

His expression softened, and he lent a hand to your shoulder, lingering, squeezing lightly. “Your mom...she told me to look after you...not like I do that already with you falling all over yourself and burning things...I don’t want to see you get hurt.” 

“Hm. Thanks.” 

“You’re also miserable to deal with when you’re sad. You make me blow my grocery budget with how much frickin’ ice cream and freezer tater tots you force me to get.” 

“You like those tater tots too though.” 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Bomi purred in your lap swaddled into a little ball of white, orange, black and brown. She was napping, or rather, trying to nap with the way that her little cat-shaped eyes blinked slowly. You tried your best to soak every little moment of it up: you knew that with her, it would be fleeting. There was something supremely calming about being close to your little furball like this. After all the love that you poured over her in the form of useless cat toys and new cat food every week, this somehow made it all worth it. 

You tapped lightly at your keyboard, not too harshly, just lightly enough so that you wouldn’t startle your sleeping cat. The tips of your toes were cold, but you didn’t dare to move to grab a blanket to ruin the moment. Outside, a light spring rain befell on your small cement patio. Droplets of the warm showers patted at the roof of your home softly. 

Your eyes had grown tired and dry at this late hour, but the end of the chapter was near. One more time you hovered your mouse over the little notification bar, clicking at it for that one last push of motivation: 

~ 

Bomi needs to quit MESSING AROUND. Blaze is right in front of her!!! Ahhhh I want them to get together soooo bad 

Is Herbie okay?? Poor bb, its so cute how we would do anything for Bomi. 

Bomi: 

Blaze: 

*now kiss* 

Are we really getting to the end of Book 1??? This has been such an amazing story N/n, I always look forward to your updates <3 they make my Thursdays hehe 

I can feel like something big and bad is coming...oh no...I hope that Blaze and Bomi make it through  

~ 

A thankful little chuckle hummed on your lips, then you pressed enter to start a new paragraph. 

“Oh Bomi,” You exhaled, “If only Blaze knew how you felt too.” 

Chapter 27 

...The group journeyed through the cavern with flickering white flames dancing and casting shadows on the stone walls dripping in stalactites. Bomi held on to the hilt of her sword tighter with a sense of dread creeping up her throat. Blaze looked onward, much as he had been doing these days. 

His leg was wrapped in a bloodied bandage: a reminder of the battle won against the Boar in Hilgram. He had jumped in front of her as he had countless times before. 

“Hello??” Blaze’s voice echoed against the long and winding chambers of the cave. In his tone he was confident, but his shoulders still shook with an uncertainty. 

Herbie’s little hedgehog feet patted the damp floor, and he looked up at his Princess with fear in his soft black eyes. The little velvet banner wrapped around his body had been torn and tattered from one too many battles. 

Had it been darker, Bomi wondered if she had reached out for Blaze’s hand to find in him. She shook her head with her resolve, eyes painfully shut. It was only in the darkness that she allowed herself to want for him. 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Today must be one of those spring-summer days.

Your warbled reflection chased after you in the blue glass of the university’s library windows. You had hoped that no one was on the other side watching you as you wrinkled up your nose to look like one of those devilish gargoyles that you had been writing of the night before. From the inside, rows and rows of books were lined up perfectly, however there were almost no students inside. It always did make you a little sad how few students would be there when you clocked in for your mandatory office hours.

Spring-summer days meant that the businesswomen on the sidewalks had exchanged with trousers with flowing skirts and little clicky ballet flats and each businessman had his tie and collar tugged down. There was a comforting warmth to the spring air that reminded you of your own college days when you and your friends--long gone now--had stayed up late to study, then would scour the buzzing streets for snacks. Things were much simplier then.

At the library’s entrance, budding tulips and geraniums of light purple hues were greeted by round bumblebees. Had the city not been as loud as it was, you could nearly hear the cicadas in the park on the east edge of the shining silver building.

You bowed slightly to the attendant at the desk who always would smile at you with adorable smiling eyes to match. She would often wear earrings of strange shapes that you had never seen before. She wore a lanyard too that had little cat paw prints decorating it; it was because of this you knew she was someone you could trust.

“Are you having a nice week?” You said to her customarily.

“Oh, I am. It’s always the same around here. My daughter will be having her baby soon! Sometimes I think that I’m more excited than she is.”

“You’ll have to tell me when that happens so I can bring her a gift, okay?”

The attendant smiled warmly, and nodded you off with a little oh, you don’t have to.

“Remember your key card this time?” She watched as you jingled around your own keys with the obsessive amount of plastic and silicon keychains.

You tsked. It seemed like nearly everyone in your life had now known how forgetful you tended to be sometimes.

“Yes. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be over there.”

Once more the two of you exchanged little bows and you made your way over to the back of the four storied library with the atrium of trees in between. There was a marble fountain encircled by the trees that had little oval shaped leaves. Two tiny birds, all black, bounced from branch to branch. It was your secret, but you had written about that fountain many times in your writing, but you were the only one who knew that it was real.

You tapped the reader to hear that familiar do-do doot along with the flash of the green lock. As always, the study room was a bit messy with eraser shavings sprinkled about and the odd dry marker laying next to the trashcan where someone had tried to toss it in, but had missed. The minute hand on the wall clock scooted right on to the 12.

“Are you busy?” That fluff on white hair peeked into your study room just like clockwork.

“For my favorite student? Do you even have to ask?”

Jeongin, the oldest and most attentive student in your class hopped in with his adorably boy-ish charm. Regardless of the fact that he was in the last year of his grad degree, it was impossible for him to look that old. You didn’t have the heart to tell him, but he technically shouldn’t have been in your class for undergrads, but you weren’t going to stop him.

“Why’d you decide to take this class anyway?” You would ask him.

He’d answer, “For fun.” with that cute little smile of his.

“I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“I just got here.” You pulled out a seat for him.

“Oh. Good. I was wondering if you could proof read my short story again. I’m having trouble with the ending. I just don’t think I understand all the way how to make it full circle like you said in lecture.”

He unzipped his leather backpack: obviously a gift from someone in his family that must have thought it would make him look his age. It didn’t. What didn’t help further was how he had adorned it with all kinds of keychains; much like your own keys. It was because of this that you knew he was someone you could trust.

His manuscript already had dozens of scribbles in his own handwriting with tons of question marks riddling the margins. 

“Let me take a look.”

You skimmed the pages of the short story--one which you had already read the week prior--for all of his new edits. The notes made it a bit hard to read, but you were used to how he would make a mess of his papers now. He leaned in close to you with glossy eyes that might have even twinkled a little like a cartoon. Both of his knees bounced furiously while he watched you read, and would look from the paper, to your face, then back to the paper, then back to your face...

“Is-is it good? Better?”

Jeongin had written a love story. His first one that you had known of. It was about a boy and a girl who had met on an airplane, and had been seated together. The two of them found out that they had shared so much about their two lives without ever meeting until this very moment. They had realized they went to the same high school, worked in the same building, and were travelling for the same reason: to meet up with someone that they had once loved. It was beautiful, tragic, and in some ways, familiar.

“I think that it’s wonderful Jeongin. The edits that you made to it from last week really help with the narrative flow as well as the vertical plot. You’re really good at asking the deeper questions behind the piece like “why are they really there,” and “why is it important that they are there.” All you need to do is tie it up.” 

“But howwww?” Jeongin slumped in his wheely chair. “What should I say?” 

“Well...” You tapped your pen to your lip. “The ending scene is when they land at the airport right? Why don’t you have your main character say something that calls back to all of their similarities and makes it seem like they’ve known eachother all along?” 

“But I don’t want it to seem like they’re going to forget eachother.” 

“They won’t. You established that they’ve both found something different than what they were looking for in the first place.” 

Your student’s face tangled up into concentrated knots and he puffed those thin strands of bleached white hair away from his eyes. 

“I could say...‘see you at home’? Or...maybe that’s too cheesy--” 

“--No it’s not! If you like it, I think that it also fits the story well. Its like, now they understand, and they’ve got something in eachother now that they hadn’t had before; also juxtaposing with your themes of travelling to make a reference to home.” 

“Damn, you’re much better at this kind of stuff than I am...” Jeongin wrote down the new ending on his print out. 

“Its just...what I like to do.” 

“I’m glad I came.” He grinned out with his mischievous and trademark smile. “How’s your story going by the way? Almost finished?” 

“Oh...” 

A heat rose in your cheeks. You had decided to tell Jeongin about Princess Bomi a few weeks back, but you had neglected to tell him exactly what the story was about. That was a secret better kept to yourself. 

“Its...good. I think. My readers seem to really like it.” 

“Maybe you’ll let me read it someday. I bet there would be tons of other people who would like to read it too, you know, outside of the internet.” 

“That’s what I’ve been told...” Hyunjin’s urgings echoed in your head. “Maybe...” Your eyes wandered to those scribblings of his. “How about we make a deal?” 

“What kind of deal?” 

“Once we get both of our stories sorted, lets submit them together. I’m sure people would like to read yours too.” 

“Mine?!” Your adorable student’s face flushed as deeply pink as the sweater he wore. “Oh no, no no no no no.” 

“I’m telling you it’s good! Its relatable, raw, well written. It never hurts to try. How about submitting it for the literary journal they do at the end of the semester?” 

“You mean the one that all the arts majors read and fuckin’ eviscerate?? Hell no.” 

“Hey, I could get eviscerated too by my chief editor.” 

Jeongin gulped with his terrified, brown, cartoon-character glistening eyes boring holes into his manuscript. 

You sang, “~Wanna go down together~?” 

“A-as long as we’re going down together...I guess it’s worth a shot.” 

“Alright then!!” 

He made a little sound of disgust, then shoved his papers back into his much-too-old-for-him bag. “That was all I needed to ask you for. Thank you.” He bowed with respect. “I won’t be bothering you for too long today.” 

“You wrote a good story Jeongin.” 

“Mm. Thank you.” His smile turned into a tiny flustered line. 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

STUPID NEW CAT FOOD. AGAIN. 

In one hand, you held the crinkled up grocery list with angry doodles of your cat folded into the corners of the page. You didn’t quite know if cats had eyebrows like the ones you had drawn onto your cat’s smug face, but you were for certain that this cat must’ve had them...and they were angry. 

Bomi had selfishly decided at the end of your week that she no longer liked the last brand of cat food that you had found on the shelves of the grocery store. It was the brand stored next to the one that you had nearly concussed Minho with. 

You were at your wits end. There must have been something wrong with your cat--to hell with her being a picky eater. Maybe she really was just a little alien inside there. A little alien that hated cat food. The image of you sitting at your dining table across from Bomi eating two plates of people food crossed your mind. She picked up the fork with her white paw and dabbed at her mouth with a cloth napkin. The idea didn’t seem the most out of reach. 

In your other hand was your phone opened to the maps app with the small blue dot leading you to the specialty pet store. 

“Damn spoiled, stuck up, good for nothing, pain in my as--” 

“Hey! Blossom??” 

Your head whipped around so fast you cracked the bones of your neck with a startling pop. You rubbed at your neck to ease the pain. 

“You okay?” 

At first you figured you must have dreamt him up in your neck-induced-pain. You cursed at your overactive imagination, still just as strong as it was when you had been small. 

Blaze in the flesh he was alllll the way from his battered Converse to his stupidly handsome curly hair. 

You laughed out incredulously with a hand still glued to the back of your neck. 

“Didn’t think that I would be seeing you around here again. Or at least, I was kind of hoping that I would.” 

He marched right up to you with that same smile you had pictured on Princess Bomi’s companion countless times before. Today he wore a leather jacket over the arms that you knew were covered in all kinds of flowers and vines. It hadn’t quite hit you yet that he had said he was hoping to see you. 

“Sorry if I startled you. I was just...really surprised.” 

“You’re fine, it’s fine.” 

You neck didn’t tell you it was fine. 

“What are you doing around here?” 

“Pet store.” Was all you could get out. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to you, but for someone who worked at a flower shop, he did end up smelling an awful lot like flowers. It was a sweet aroma, much like your garden. 

“Ahh, I just got off.” 

You walked on, also not noticing that he had started to follow you a couple steps behind. 

“I realized I didn’t get your name last time.” 

“Oh. It’s Y/n.” 

He hummed with a smirk. “I do kinda like Blossom more.” He crammed his hands into his pants pockets with a wistful little sigh. “Pretty nickname for someone as pretty as yourself.” 

“Psh. Stop.” You had said it sarcastically, but you didn’t intend for your heart to skip as harshly as it did when he had said so. 

“You’ve got a pet then? Dog? Cat?” 

“Cat. Just one.” 

“I wish I could take care of a pet like that. Don’t think I would be too good at it though. I see myself as more of a plant person. They’re quiet, don’t do too much, and they sort of love you back in their own way.” 

“How's that?” 

“By growing. And flowering. Changing colors and looking good in your windowsill. Nothing too crazy.” 

“I...guess I can see what you mean.” 

He flicked at the black hoop pierced into his lip in the way that you certainly hadn’t forgotten; and you were one for forgetting much. 

“Mind if I go in with you? I don’t have a whole lot going on.” 

Jisung. You had also remembered his name. He carried Blaze with him in the way that he had that fiery glint in his eye like he knew he was getting away with something. He was brash and forward, and charming as all hell. The sunset of blood orange and cotton candy pink seemed to melt into his shoulders where he stood before you in the golden hour of the evening. A yellow carnation was tucked into the pocket of his jacket. 

“You don’t have to...” 

He had already made up his mind, and swung open the door to the pet shop neighboring the floral shop. You didn’t know how you had missed it. 

The squawking of birds chimed with the bells hung over the shop door. 

“You coming?” He held it open for you. 

You sheepishly entered before him, nearly tripping on the little incline to the entrance and catching yourself three seconds before disaster. 

Jisung prompted, “Lead the way.” 

Normally you would have been concerned over the cleanliness of the store, but that seemed insignificant compared to the way that he looked around all in his Blaze-like wonder. He widened his eyes at the rows of fish tanks and twiddled with the little feather cat toys at the ends of the isles. 

Granted, he seemed much more immersed in the kinds of aquatic plants and moss balls that they had rather than the cute bunnies and mice, but still, you couldn’t help but shy away when he caught your glances. 

“Glad that I joined ya Blossom.” 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

There was something about Minho that felt like a lullaby. He wore a lavender colored sweater when he arrived at your doorstep: of course it was pooling into paws at his hands as always. The collar dipped deep enough for you to see the tops of his collarbones, and they were gorgeous and curved. His eyes wrinkled a little under his wire framed glasses when he would smile: that of which would also look like the little grin of a bunny. Effortlessly his brown hair kissed his forehead. 

He would speak softly and carefully, and listen to everything that you had said to him as if it was the most important thing in the world. His feet were too big for your spare pair of house slippers and he had a tiny hole in his khaki pants right by the waistline. Minho greeted Bomi with a tiny “aigoo” and she let him sweep her up into his arms where he bounced her lightly. She would never let you do that. Traitor. 

“Your home is very...you.” He had complimented. You had no idea what that meant. 

His lips were pink and glossy with drips of that peach soju that you had bought in the hopes that he would like it. It turned out that it was his favorite flavor. 

You wanted so badly to kiss the peachy flavor off of those lips. 

He had laughed a little at your array of cat-related home decor, laughing the most at your dish towels that had two fat cats on them that looked like chefs. He said that he had seen a movie once and the characters reminded him of that. 

The two of you sat outside on your patio on the wire chairs that would imprint designs into the back of your legs. The air mixed with the smell of your citronella candle and the scent of the roasted duck that you had attempted to make for him. You really shouldn’t have tried to make something for the first time when it was also his first time coming over. 

Maybe he was just being nice, but he had said it tasted good. 

It did not taste good, but rather harshly of salt and too much rosemary. 

Bomi rubbed at his legs under the table and even hiked herself up on two feet to peek into his lap. As much as it hurt to see your traitorous cat act this way, it was because of this that you knew he was someone that you could trust. Minho gave her head scratches and insisted to help you with the dishes--a mistake on his part. It took all of two minutes before you had a mishap with the detachable sink head, and soaked through his sweater. 

“Maybe I just shouldn’t trust you with water then?” He chuckled while dabbing away at the fabric. 

“That probably would be best.” 

Minho was a lullaby in the way that he laid down next to you on that quilt you had made in a crafting class some years ago. All of the patches were disjointed the the color scheme made very little sense, but it was stull functional. He kept his hands folded to his chest with reverence. His chest rose and fell calmly, and his body heat floated over to you. His presence was something familiar and still something that you couldn’t place. 

“Are you getting tired?” He asked you gently. 

You lied, “No, just resting my eyes.” 

“Maybe we shouldn’t have had that much soju then.” He joked into the open air.  

“How much longer?” 

“At least thirty more minutes.” 

He was so warm. Warmer than any chill of the spring night. 

First you would have kissed the peachy flavor on his lips. Then you would have cuddled all up into that lavender sweater which you imagined to be even softer than cat’s fur--or rather--it looked like it could have been. 

“Do you know any constellations?” Minho pointed up to the sky. 

“Not really.” 

“Well, that one is Ursa Major...and over there...that’s Leo. Can you see that it sort of looks like a triangle?” 

“Yes.” You had said, but really you didn’t have a clue, you liked it more hearing him talk about them. “Where did you learn about constellations?” 

“Long time ago. I think it was in school, but, that was so, so long ago.” 

The cool grass under the quilt rustled when he had leaned back up to sit, then dragged quilt attempt #2 over your body and his. 

“It was getting a little cold.” He quietly announced. 

His simple action of doing just that heated up your whole body now knowing that the two of you were trapped together, inches apart. 

Minho tucked his arms to prop up his head. “Thank you for cooking for me. I haven’t had someone other than my mother cook like that for me in a long while.” 

“I’m sorry...I know that it was pretty inedible--” 

“--And thank you for allowing me to come over too. I...realize...I don’t really know what I’m doing that well. I kind of invited myself...I hope that I’m not putting pressure on you or anything...” 

“--Doing what well?” Your heart leapt into your throat. 

“I just haven’t done this in a really long time.” 

This. 

What the hell was “this?” 

“I’m not following...” 

“Letting myself do something fun. Something nice and relaxing.” 

 You had formed a painful little “Oh.” on your lips. Your idea of this was different from his after all. 

“--Something nice and relaxing with you.” 

Another “Oh.” formed, but this one was a thankful one. 

“Can I tell you something?” Minho’s voice was barely in a whisper. 

“What is it?” You looked over at him and he was wrapped in the navy blue light of the night. You could have sworn that you could see the faintest inkling of stars in his eyes. 

He looked back at you in earnest. “I’ve been...scared, too, since moving back out here.” 

“W-why?” 

“There was something in me that was telling me that moving out here wouldn’t fix everything, and that I would be stuck forever on those things that happened, and the things that made me unhappy.” 

“Minho...what are you saying?” 

“-Got my heart broken. Back then. As cliché as the sounds.” He laughed, and it even sounded a twinge embarrassed. “I ran away from it to here. I had figured that it would give me time to get it all back together again.”  

“I-I’m so sorry.” 

“Running is good and all when you can physically remove yourself from what’s chasing you, but some things...” 

Your chest felt heavy. “I know exactly what you’re talking about.” 

“You do?” 

The first summer cicadas had started their nighttime chant, and their hisses ebbed and flowed like sea waves. 

“I feel like...these expectations that my family has of me, my mother...I can’t ever escape them. They’re always there and burned into my head. I think of them even when I don’t want to: get a better job that “contributes”, get married, have grandkids...” 

You paused with your own eyes cast up to the sky. The massive expanse seemed unfathomable. 

“Why is it that we can’t ever be happy doing the things that are supposed to make us happy?” 

The first meteor flew past your eyes with the speed of light, barely slow enough for you to catch it. 

The second was a bit slower, and traced after it a millisecond of white spectral dust. 

“Did you see that??” Without thinking, you poked once at Minho’s arm. 

You couldn’t see, but he had grinned with a weak smile. “I did.” 

All at once, the sky was illuminated with brilliant streaks of light and their white hot heads that would fade and dissapear just as quickly as they arrived. They tore through the sky with astonishing speed and you traced the outline of each line as fast as you could. 

“There’s so many.” You wondered aloud. 

Under the warmth of the haphazard blanket, fingers twisted into yours: careful and tentative, soft and curious.   

Minho breathed out, “I feel pretty happy right now.” 

[serenasoutherlyns]

Not a Summer Crush Part Six

a/n: OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I FINISHED A CHAPTER! This will probably be the second or third to last one? Anyways, this is The Chapter where it happens so. Enjoy!! Any feedback is appreciated, it feels so good to have written something :).

Part Six

Serena quickly counted the number of drinks she’d had in her head. She felt more sober by far than you, Casey, or Alex seemed; everything was going according to plan. You were dancing with one of your friends from the studio, leaving Casey and Alex to dance together; Serena noticed-- looking towards you as much as one another. Serena had been dancing with one of your friends. At the next break the band took, Mariana followed the four of you back to your table, kissed Serena on the cheek and started pulling her away from you, with a look in her eyes that, you recognized from personal experience, meant she had every intention of taking her in the restroom. You winked at the two of them, expecting Serena to follow her lead, but she didn’t instead electing to give her hip a squeeze before whispering something in her ear and sitting down beside Casey while you slid in next to Alex again.

“You two are really getting the hang of this,” you said, your head resting in your hands, your elbows propped up on the table. You didn’t like to get too drunk when you went dancing, mainly because the diminished coordination bothered you, but you’d made an exception tonight, and you were feeling pleasantly buzzed, enough to push your flirting out of the territory of subtle. You leaned your head against Alex’s shoulder, smiling as she said something you weren’t quite listening to. You tended to “check out” when you were drunk, turning into a bit of a passive observer, letting the big picture of the space wash over you rather than noticing every little piece of conversation.

Serena held out her phone to snap a picture of the group, and as she did so, you tilted your head up the slightest bit to bring your lips to rest incredibly lightly on Alex’s cheek. Testing the waters again, you lifted your head up further and turned across the table to see Casey, not jealous but happy, the smile on her lips full of desire, her pupils wide. Alex was blushing, her gaze averted from your own. You no longer had any more doubt: this was going to happen. It was all a question of when

“Serena,” you said, “what do you think of Mariana?” It was a plot to get her to leave the three of you alone, and you were sure you weren’t being delicate enough for her not to notice. You didn’t much care.

“She’s beautiful, talented,” Serena said with a suggestive wink. “I’m sure you know that, though,” she said.

You choked on your drink, coughing. “You act like I’ve slept with everyone in here,” you said, hoping Serena would take you up on the door you were opening.

Nobody was better than her at picking up the hidden question underneath someone’s statements. “Almost,” she said, low and playful. Casey swatted Serena’s shoulder (to which Serena reacted with an indignant “ow!”) while Alex took another long sip of her drink.

Mariana walked back by your table, grabbing Serena’s hand before she could object too strongly to your reactions, and Serena followed, leaving the three of you alone.

“Mariana is--”

“A friend of mine,” you cut Casey off before she could insinuate that you were in any kind of relationship that didn’t boil down to head over heels for the two of you. “I think she’s about to eat Serena alive, though,” you continued. That got the three of you laughing, Casey letting her head fall back, her soft red waves grazing over the tops of her shoulders. Alex pressed herself closer to you. If you turned towards her right then, just the slightest bit, you’d be touching in all kinds of important places. You felt your skin heat at the thought. She was close enough that you could feel her chest rise and fall from her side, that the scent of her shampoo and tequila filled your senses and suddenly it was all too much: the sounds, music, chatter, clinking glasses, the smells, the warmth and humidity of the space not to mention the same look on Casey’s face and your mildly drunk state. Your head was spinning. You coughed, overwhelmed. “Excuse me,” you said as you rose and walked to the bathroom, hoping you hadn’t sounded upset.

At the table, Alex looked at Casey with panic. Casey’s eyes were similarly wide and scared. “Alex, what did you do?”

---

When you made it to the bathroom, you realized what you’d done. You blew it, you panicked in a moment you could’ve taken advantage of and now all of your chances were out the window. Fuck. You leaned over the sink, breathing heavily, swallowing what could become tears. These feelings were getting excessive. You’d spent all night close to one or both of them, elegantly spinning Casey’s athletic form across the floor, gently guiding Alex’s uncoordinated self through the movements, watching the two of them fit perfectly in each other’s arms; and it had felt perfect: holding, watching, spinning, then Alex had come in close and you’d freaked out. You started coughing again from breathing hard. You heard a noise behind you, the unlocking of one of the stalls. Great, you thought, someone else was there to witness your hysterics.

That someone else was Serena Southerlyn, who carefully walked up beside you in what was

not exactly a comforting gesture. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked huffing, having spent her patience by this point. Mariana walked out of the stall and out of the bathroom doors, rolling her eyes at your plight (which was fair enough, considering that you’d failed to text her back after you slept together not once but three times before).

“Thanks,” you said, pushing yourself back from the sink to face her. You debated whether to tell her the truth, but you’d realized, at this point, how many of your rules regarding romance Casey and Alex had broken for you. You leaned back against the wall, crossing your arms in front of you. “We were talking,” you said, the nervousness still in your voice, “And Alex was so close and Casey was too, and I just, I freaked, Serena and I think I ruined it if there was an it to ruin and I don’t know what to do!” you said, all in one breath.

Serena took a breath, rubbing her eyes, then turned and begun to leave the room.

“Where are you going?” you said, “I just bore my soul to you, Southerlyn!”

“I’m going to fix this,” she said. “And you owe me one for driving Mariana away. Seriously, what did you do to her?” she asked. You started to answer, but she cut you off, “Don’t tell me.” She waved her hand at you and was gone, leaving you stunned.

---

Serena took a second to slow down the pace she was walking at so that when she arrived at the table, she wouldn’t have to slide to a halt. It wasn’t a pretty sight: Alex and Casey hadn’t moved at all, and they both looked very confused and anxious; Casey with her bottom lip between her teeth, Alex looking into her mostly empty glass like the ice cubes could tell her fortune. It was pathetic, in Serena’s opinion.

“What did you do, Alex?” Serena asked as she sat down.

Alex let out an unamused chuckle. “Why does everyone assume it’s my fault?” she replied, but gave up being defensive. “I don’t know. I thought things were going so well, but I must’ve misread her because…” she trailed off. Casey had a forlorn look in her eyes, one that Serena had seen before, years ago at a party when she and Alex had been trying to stay just friends. That night, Serena had asked her if she really was ready to let her go. Casey had looked at her with those same eyes and said, “no, I’m not,” taken a sip of her beer, “but I’m going to have to be, won’t I?” And that night, Serena pulled Alex aside and told her, and she remembered the exact words, “You can’t do this to her, Lex.” Alex had turned her eyes towards the ground, but hadn’t replied, and Serena had finished, “You can’t do this to yourself.” Those same looks and those same feelings, and Serena wasn’t going to let the two of them screw up this time either. The things she did for friendship!

“Well,” Serena said, “She’s in the bathroom hyperventilating because she thinks she ruined her chances with you. So I would advise that the two of you go fix that. Apologize or explain or whatever.” She didn’t give them time to argue. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go try to finish what I started,” she rose from the table. “You’re all grownups, talk to each other.”

They looked at one another for a moment, communicating without words, reading one another in the same way they’d learned to over the years of being in love. “So, I guess I’ll go talk to her?” Casey said, eliciting a sigh of relief from her wife. She always was better with uncertainty.

“That would be amazing of you, baby,” Alex said, squeezing Casey’s hand and leaning over the table to kiss her, before they both stood from the table at the same time, and walked away in opposite directions.

---

You hardly dared to move from where you were parked against the wall as you waited for something to happen. You weren’t exactly sure what Serena meant by “fixing” this, but it turned out that the outcome you’d most hoped for was the one you got. There was a hesitant initial push on the door, then one more insistent. Casey’d left you breathless multiple times tonight, her dress, her hair, the way her lipstick clung to the straw in her cocktail, but this, you thought, was going to win out as the most striking image of her you’d gotten: tall, confident, her dress clinging to her figure, and most importantly, blue-green eyes, taking you in.

“Hi,” you said, more quietly than you intended, questioning her.

“Hi,” she replied.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve rushed out of there like that, I,” you started to say, but Casey stopped you, shaking her head and moving closer. She took your hand and pushed a curl behind your ear.

“I don’t think any of us know exactly what we’re doing,” she said, laughing a little into the words, “But I know I want to do it. Alex, too,” she said.

You nodded, swallowing, her reassurance bringing back some of your confidence. “Yeah,” you said, choosing not to dwell on coming up with the right words. She was standing so close to you that there was barely any space to close; but you closed it anyway. You pulled her in, your arms wrapped around her waist like they had been many times that night. Your lips touched, finally kissing her, in a way that felt inevitable but still surprising. It was a light, innocent, careful kiss, pleasant that way. You felt so many ways that you couldn’t quite sort them out-- excited, terrified, gratified. But most of all you wanted more. You broke the kiss for just enough time to start to catch your breath, then pulled her somehow closer, kissing her with more insistence, and there was nothing innocent about this one. You parted your lips, deepening the kiss, ready to give her whatever she would take. You sighed when she pulled away, looking up at her with eyes that you were sure must be dark with desire.

“Would you want to come home with me?” She asked, with an endearing uncertainty that you marveled at, knowing how impossible it would’ve been for you to refuse after that kiss.

You nodded, biting your lip. “Of course,” you breathed out, “but Alex…”

“She left a few minutes ago, I told her we’d meet her there.”

“Sure of yourself there, Novak?” you teased, already heading for the bathroom door.

Casey wrapped an arm around your waist as the two of you made your way towards the exit and a cab and the promise of even more closeness. “Maybe. But I was right, wasn’t I?”

Your reply was a smile and a bite of your lip.

---

You woke up to the smell of coffee and a borderline offensive amount of sunlight invading your foggy brain. You began to claw your way through the morning confusion, the suggestion of a hangover building in your temples. Three things were different about the scene. First, you always slept with your blinds closed. Second, someone else had made coffee. Third, when you stretched slightly forward you felt another body respond, pressing herself into you. You felt a rush of elation run from your forehead to your toes. While you were still sleepy, you couldn’t resist the urge to hug her tighter, thinking about last night, how you’d finally gotten what you’d been wanting for months. You thought about pinching yourself.

“Good morning,” Alex said, her voice raspy and full, you thought, of the same excited happiness you were feeling. You pushed yourself up on your side, reaching over to tuck Alex’s mussed hair behind her ear, then to kiss her temple. She hummed in appreciation, and as you pressed your lips to her neck, traced where your lips had been only a few hours ago, gentler, she breathed deeply, turning onto her back so you could kiss her properly. You did so, lazily shifting to sit with your legs tucked to the side. “Quite a wake-up call,” she said, giving you a satisfied smile.

“I’m not surprised Casey’s an early riser,” you said, in a teasing, loud whisper, “and I’m not surprised that you aren’t. I guess I’ll have to split the difference. I could stand to build better habits anyway.” Alex felt a flutter of excitement when you said that, implying this would happen enough to build a habit. You’d each shared a few hopes with one another last night, but part of her was going to be looking for reassurance for a little while yet.

Your phone rang, buzzing from your bag. Through some kind of miracle, it was Gillian’s turn to catch cases that day, so you thought it was probably spam and clicked it off without looking as you slid your feet off the side of the (very comfortable) bed to dangle above the floor. Alex made a noise of protest, placing a hand on your lower back. “Warm,” she said, when you laughed lightly.

“I’ll bring you coffee,” you said, your feet meeting the rug without a sound.

You were wearing a pair of Casey’s old terry shorts and one of Alex’s college shirts, that had a black line on the bottom where a bouncer had missed her hand. While that was all you’d heard of the story, you were now very eager to find out what kind of shows Alex Cabot had gone to in college. The shorts were fraying, especially one point on the right side (below the pocket) and you now had an image of Casey idly playing with the fabric while reading something dense so clear in your mind you may as well have seen it.

As you padded into the kitchen through the living room, you took notice of things you’d been too busy to see the night before: the extensive amount of poetry mixed in with the law books on the shelf, photos of Alex and Casey through the years, a few pieces of carefully chosen artwork. It was very put together and nothing like your place, but it felt right for the two of them. You had an idea, then, when you remembered the abundance of knickknacks that made their way into your tiny bag. You pulled out the first one your fingers found: a tiny duck carved out of rose quartz you’d picked up from a vendor and never found a place for in your apartment or office. Yes, it was silly and it stuck out, but despite all that, as you placed it on the large bookshelf, it fit.

“What’s his name?” Casey said, leaning in the door frame.

“How long have you been there,” you said, turning around and walking to meet her. “And good morning, I promised Alex coffee, so there better be some left.” Casey reached behind herself and handed you two mugs. “And his name is Apollo.”

“Of course,” she said, smiling. You then headed back to the bedroom, Casey walking behind you.

---

Your phone rang again almost immediately after the three of you got cozy in bed again. You didn’t usually get two spam calls in the same morning, so you motioned for Casey to hand your phone to you (as it was on her end table) and, seeing it was Ashley, you answered it, remembering that he was back from his trip that day and probably wondered why you weren’t there for breakfast. Casey and Alex could overhear the conversation, sharing charmed looks over the top of your head.

“Hey, are you alive?”

“I am alive, yes,” you replied, laughing.

“Ooooh, I know that tone!” he said excitedly. “Are you at their place?”

“I am, in fact,” you said, leaning into the hand Casey had placed on your thigh.

“Oh OK, details later,” he said, and when Alex gave you an over-the-glasses look you shrugged. “I’ll tell the girl that the mock trial rehash can wait,” he said.

You heard Ophélie begin to argue with him in the background of the call, and since you knew that meant she would want a complete explanation later (and because you really did want to know how her case went), you replied, “No, no, put her on, it’s OK.”

“Hmm,” he said, “It’s your ear.”

He wasn’t kidding. Your niece took the phone and shrieked into the microphone. You pulled it away from your head until she started saying words. Alex laughed as she blew on her hot coffee, making ripples. “I won!” she exclaimed, talking fast in the particular cadence of a preteen girl. “First, I presented a motion to exclude the evidence that Izzy, sorry, my client, was in the car because I found something in the packet that showed that it wasn’t admit-able,

“Admissible,”

“Admissible, and then I--”

“OK,” you said, “I am so proud of you, kiddo, but can we save the motion by motion for dinner?” mentioning the dinner you’d promised her for victory was enough to get her on a different track, half talking to you and half to her parents and sisters. “Alright bug, I’m hanging up now,” you said. “Bye!” you insisted when she didn’t respond.

“Bye!” came her distracted reply. You turned the phone off and set it aside, seeing the grins on both of the women beside you’s faces.

“What?” you said, your voice going up at the end of the word.

“I can see your influence,” Alex said.

“She’s going to start pulling case law on me in a few years, isn’t she?” you said.

“She can read our books,” Casey said. The way she offered something like that, comfortably, to your family, not scared off by them, struck something deep in you, that wasn’t infatuation or friendship, but the start of something else. “That is, if you’re comfortable with it, and not that you don’t have any,” she said, a hint of worry in her voice.

“That seems dangerous for my sanity, but she’d love that,” you said, assuaging any fear. Satisfied, Casey smiled and sipped her coffee. Another phone buzz came, this time from Alex’s side of the bed.

“It’s from Serena,” she said, reading the text aloud. “‘Congrats!!!!’ with four exclamation points, which feels like overkill.”

“I don’t know,” you said, “It feels appropriate to me.” Alex nodded, conceding, as you drank your coffee, looking at her over your mug.

---

On Monday, there was a café miel on your desk again. There was a note beside it, largely the same as all the other ones, except, it ended with a smudge of lipstick that you’d recognize anywhere. You tucked it into the box where you kept all the notes and you sat down at your desk. You felt like you’d never had a sweeter drink in your life.

---

taglist: @addictedtodinosaurs, @nocreditinthestraightworld, @cmmndrwidw, @hi-i-1, @lesbianologist, @alexlivdoncas, @laezzzi

[luvreyn]

My Manhwa List (2021) Part 10

Freaking Romance

Summary:

A sexy supernatural story about being out on your own, finding your dream apartment and discovering that your new place is haunted by a handsome spectral stranger from another dimension. Sure, HE can’t see you and YOU can’t touch him, but who said every relationship starts out perfectly?

THOUGHTS & WHY YOU SHOULD READ

- art = 3/5

- plot = 3/5

- sometimes I feel like some scenes are all over the place >.>

- green flag boyo!!

- comedy!!

- good concept!!!!!

- pls I am so proud of our girl for standing up for herself

- V E R O S E and that’s on periodt

- there are twists!!

- verdict, interesting read!

The Protection of Lariensa Gelinus

Summary:

Reading about Lariensa was an innocent pastime, but Song Yiseul never imagined becoming personally entangled in her story. When she wakes up in a fictional world as Lariensa’s best friend Marilyn, she quickly realizes that her favorite novel’s star desperately needs her protection. The thing is, Lariensa is just a little too sweet for her own good, which makes her an easy target for master manipulators like Sibel Noma Kahn. As Lariensa’s loyal friend, it’s up to Marilyn to save her from the boy who will one day ruin her life. But Marilyn’s desperate attempts to circumvent Sibel only seem to pique his devilish curiosity. With the antagonist now suddenly interested in her, Marilyn sets out to foil Sibel's sinister plot to use her to get to Lariensa.

THOUGHTS & WHY YOU SHOULD READ

- art = 3.5/5

- plot = 3/5

- girl squad <3

- ngl but the male leads are crazy

- think there’s gonna be a major development tho @_@

- for now, leggo 2nd lead!!

- spoiler: the prof should rot pls why is he still alive

- c o m e d y  

- verdict, cute female friendship!

The God of Highschool

Summary:

Mori Jin is a high school student and Taekwondo specialist who enters "The God of High School," a fighting tournament that promises the winner anything they want. What began as a competition to seek out the best high school fighter soon reveals itself to be part of a much greater plot that goes beyond Mori's wildest imagination. What will he give to become a true god?

THOUGHTS & WHY YOU SHOULD READ

- art = 3.5/5 

- plot = 6/5

- MY FAVORITE ACTION WEBTOON

- Mori Jin!!

- friendships <3

- I love this sm ngl

- PLOT TWISTSSS

- the villains!!

- there’s so much going on but you will understand it

- incorporated popular legends/myths etc and wow

- made me tear up (my crybaby self is shaking)

- will make you beg for more!!

- verdict, a highly recommended webtoon!

Nice to Meet You

Summary:

A ditsy university student Mew finds a lost student card. Instead of doing the sensible thing, Mew decides to let fate take the wheel and try something silly. Little did she know, she would be confronting the owner of the card, Daze who has some things to say about what she did. Did Mew make the biggest mistake of her life? or the best decision of her life? Follow these two adorable goofballs to find out!

THOUGHTS & WHY YOU SHOULD READ

- art = 3.5/5

- plot = 3/5

- so cute so cute

- sugar, spice, and everything nice

- friendships!!

- willow!!

- f u n n y

- verdict, cute read!!

Tower of God

Summary:

What do you desire? Money and wealth? Honor and pride? Authority and power? Revenge? Or something that transcends them all? Whatever you desire—it's here.

THOUGHTS & WHY YOU SHOULD READ

- art = 2.5/5 I'm sorry I'm not a fan of the art TT__TT (but it greatly improved as the story goes~)

- the plot makes up for it thousand times tho!! plot = 6/5

- THE PLOT TWIST AFTER PLOT TWIST

- F R I E N D S H I P!!

- CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FOR THE WIN

- khun aguero agnis <3

- really will make keep you on the edge of your seat!

- will keep you wanting for more!!

- one of the best webtoon in well webtoon hahah

- Verdict, highly recommended!!

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

Fic Writer Questions! (you can find me here on AO3 if you're interested!)

tagged by dear @theburialofstrawberries mwah!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

112 yowza!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

750,421 kinda tempted to go delete one word so it can be 750420 which is a far more Pleasing number

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

12ish but some of them overlap: BBCS/Sherlock Holmes/ACD (these are all different bc my bbcs fics are not the same as my own modern fem Sherlock Holmes adaptation are not the same as my ACD Holmes fic; Good Omens; Harry Potter/The Werewolf Draco Malfoy Cinematic Universe; Captive Prince; The Hobbit; Fleabag (it was a crossover with BBCS but Fleabag is the perspective character so it still counts as a separate fandom imo); Doctor Who; The Office; Parks and Rec; Broad City (one a piece for those last 5 but I AM going to write a Parks and Rec polycule fic for @gaykagome)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're all Good Omens fics from the 2019 Summer of Good Omens! Susceptible to Summer, Fragments Shored Against My Ruin, Something So Magic, Enter Serpent, and Anything We Like

All of those have over 2k except the last one, but average engagement for me is like 400 kudos or so

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! It depends on what's going on with me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy, and I figure people would rather I spend my brain power on writing new fics than on writing replies to comments. Wish I had a fave button tho so I could let people know I read and reread comments, because I do!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh I wrote this ficlet series called A Chemical Defect about John and Sherlock's relationship in s3 of BBCS, and it's WILDLY unpopular. People don't read my fic to cry sad tears I guess! John and Sherlock are having an affair in the story, and it ends with the implication that their relationship is unsustainable and that Mary knows about it anyway. I intended to come back to it after s4 and write a more optimistic ending but LOL! Didn't have the heart.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I know this answer is kinda up my own ass, but like. I think stories that feel true to life sort of feel like they end on a beginning if you know what I mean? You don't really consider a chapter of your life closed until you look back on it from the next? SO that said, I think I'd have to say that it's my big BBCS serial The Only One in the World. I spent 2 years writing it, and it ends with John retiring from medicine to solve crimes and write books full time.

Could also be my WDMCU (werewolf Draco Malfoy cinematic universe) series Moonrise, which starts with Draco isolated in his abusive mother's house, trying to cope with lycanthropy essentially alone and ends with him in love and surrounded by found family in a cozy cottage in Hogsmeade, having gotten some lycanthrope rights legislation passed after working at it for years and talking to Harry about whether they want to have kids. Oh man I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written one crossover. It's BBCS/Fleabag, because me and @loudest-subtext-in-tv were laughing about how John seems like one of the horrible guys Fleabag sleeps with basically out of self loathing, so I wrote this fic to make Nattie laugh, and you should read it bc it's so good and so underrated.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, but people don't seem to know that authors can read bookmark tags unless you private the bookmark, and someone once put in the bookmark tag on one of my fics 'writing was meh but it was okay.' Okay so why bookmark it then??

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Fuck yes! I'm not sure what 'what kind?' means? People fucking? Sloppy, silly, and awkward, with lots of laughing. I also really like writing afterglow scenes which are even sillier and gigglier and often involve one character cooking for another. Food as love language is a very distinct pattern of mine tbh

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but occasionally I'll write a post on here where I make some elaborate head canon, and I'll see people in the tags talking about how they want to write fic of it, and it makes me breathe fire out of my nose like a dragon like PLEASE DON'T. The WDMCU came out of a ficlet post I made on here like a year before I actually wrote the 60k series so like!!! Please don't do that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian and I believe Chinese. Not my entire oeuvre but a handful of BBCS and Good Omens fics

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I wrote a fic inspired by an RP I did with my gf right around when we met (actually now that I think about it, it's two fics), and I waaaaaaanna do a WDMCU collab with my beloved Sally @clytemenestras at some point if he has time bc he inspired me to even write werewolf draco with his original lesbian werewolf story

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

favorites are hard for me? I always think I'm currently doing my best writing lol so I'll say drarry

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't post fics unless theyre finished, so I don't have any WIP up on AO3, but I did intend to continue with my fem Sherlock Holmes series, Your Many Tendencies. I just haven't been in a Holmes mood for a long time. Maybe I'll come back to it idk. This particular series is honestly very unpopular? People will just straight up say they don't read femslash, and it hurts a lot. This series feels really personal too, bc it's about a Black autistic nonbinary lesbian, so it does hurt my feelings that no one seems to care, yknow? I mean the people who read it are extremely kind and thoughtful in their engagement with it, but it has vastly less engagement than my m/m fic, and that's painful. It gets literally 1/10 the attention my fics usually get.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Almost all of my writing is romance, but I tend to write concurrently about recovery and found family, and I think I'm very good at doing that in a way that connects with my audience. I once had someone ask if they could use my words in their wedding vows, and I've had people tell me they started doing things with their spouse that my characters do with their partners in order to express love. I think about that all the time. My Impact. It makes me feel like I have a real duty to my audience yknow?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

This question is hard for me like I've been writing so long and so much that I'm literally always happy with my final draft! It's always exactly to my taste, yknow? I suppose I could say that my fics tend not to be terribly plotty but so WHAT? That's beside the fuckn point for me. Plot who? I don't know Her. Also honestly like. Stories feel more True to me when they aren't ruthlessly devoted to plot bc like life isn't like that yknow?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If you're not fluent in that language, get a beta who is!!!!! That said, I have written scraps of very simple dialogue in French using mostly Google Translate (sometimes I check w Sally bc he speaks French but I am usually too impatient), and I am perfectly well aware that I take my life in my hands each time!!! Also don't do that bullshit thing where it's in italics? That shit is weird and exoticizing. Just write it in quotation marks like normal dialogue.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BBCS babey back in 2012. Ended a 5 year dry spell for me after I got my writing degree.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm I think it's probably gonna be the fic I'm working on now that I haven't posted yet, but I know it's called Names for a House, and here's a tiny bit of it

Thanks again Shreya for asking me to do this bc I really love talking about myself. I tag @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @clytemenestras, @tomiano, @gaykagome and @totallysilvergirl

No pressure <3

[maggotsandcream]

I’m going on a really long meta rant about The Bartimaeus Trilogy

Dang, it is 8 paragraphs long, I’m so sorry.

I was talking with a friend who read the Bartimaeus Trilogy back in high school and had finished the Lockwood and Co. books over the summer about how long the two series take to engage your interest. We both definitely agreed that Bartimaeus takes way longer than Lockwood, despite both of us preferring Bartimaeus (though both definitely enjoying Lockwood). It would be easy to pass this off as Bartimaeus just being way denser and Lockwood being more lighthearted fun, but I don’t think that’s the full answer.

I’m going to tell you something that might be a tad controversial for this fandom considering how much we talk about how amazing the Bartimaeus Sequence is: I actually returned Amulet of Samarkand to the library less than half read the first time I tried to read it. This isn’t entirely because of of AoS’s quality. The librarian who introduced me to the series sent me home with Sandry’s Book at the same time because I’d asked for recommendations for adventurous fantasy stories without any romance and learning about Tamora Pierce’s stuff kind of derailed any other reading plans I had that summer. (The same thing happened a couple years later when I brought home The Fellowship of the Ring and The Colour of Magic at the same time and did not read the Lord of the Rings until after I had finished every single Discworld book, but I digress.) But anyways, I got to the part just after Nat sent Bart off after he learned his name and did not pick it up again until that winter, when I decided to give it another shot, finished it in a frantic all nighter that night, requested Golem’s Eye and Ptolemy’s Gate the next day, picked them up on the next trip to the library, read each of them in a day, got very sad and emotional, and then got introduced to the concept of fanfiction when I went looking to see if there had ever been an alternate ending written for it. It was a very full 2 weeks and I was very tired by the end of it.

Clearly, it’s a really good series and a really moving one. Why is it so hard to start it?

My friend and I almost perfectly agree on the exact point the series gets truly interesting. I think it’s the fight in Pinn’s shop. She thinks it’s when Bart gets arrested. These are arguably part of the same scene. And my theory is that this is the first point in the series when you can’t actually tell exactly where it’s going.

To be clear, the story before that point isn’t bad exactly. It’s funny, it’s got a cool heist sequence, it’s got a lot of thought provoking world building. But I think in establishing Bart and Nat as actually competent at what they’re each doing, Stroud accidentally ruined a lot the suspense needed to suck you into a story. They’re too good at what they’re doing and the story unfolds exactly as you expect it to. And no, Bart learning Nat’s name doesn’t count towards suspense or twists or anything like that; from the moment it’s established true names have power you just know Bart’s going to figure out Nat’s name.

But! Then there’s the scene in Pinn’s shop when Bart fucks up HUGE and gets arrested and the obvious way for him to escape gets pointed out by the narration as being the kind of thing that would happen in a bad novel...and gets shut down immediately and brutally as impossible. And the way he does escape has consequences that at least I a middle schooler at the time did not remotely see coming. And the series goes off in an incredibly different direction than everything was pointing to and finally gets really good.

My friend then said that the reason boiled down to the house burning down halfway through the book in Amulet of Samarkand but as part of the first act for The Screaming Staircase and I can’t see the lie. Shit must hit the fan to be interesting, and what is Lockwood and Co. but shit being dumped onto the fan at regular and frequent intervals? Sure, the plot isn’t necessarily as deep as Bartimaeus, but the execution was phenomenal and you frequently got the impression that Stroud was having a hoot writing it.

I’m going to chalk it up to Stroud just getting better as an author after all that practice writing books between the two series for why it turned out that way.

[life-rewritten]

DISMAYS VS RELIEFS AKA REVIEW/RANTS OF BL IN SEPTEMBER NOVEMBER

It's been an interesting experience this past few months. BL came back in full force, took mostly all days in the week and you know what? It surprised the hell out of me. Mostly because I was moving back and forth from the decision of whether to stop watching or to wait and trust something extraordinary would happen like last year. And then October/November happened before I knew it I was falling again for some storylines, I was excited again to analyse and talk about these shows, and also I was incredibly grateful for some of the messages I received from these shows, they educated me, humbled me and even pushed me to my own version of self-acceptance, learning and love. So there are some disappointments with some of the shows mentioned here, but overall I'm grateful we got to see these shows and wait for them every week to air. This is the first part of this list because in another two weeks I have more shows ending. December is shaking!

Ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these shows?

DISMAYS

1. MY GEAR AND MY GOWN

Genre/Themes: Romance, Melodrama, Angst, Drama, Friendship, Unrequited Love, Family

Country: Thailand

Verdict:

 Um, this show. I've been through a lot with this show, I've been angry, frustrated, tired, annoyed but weirdly I love this show, by the end of the finale, this show left me with warmth and this energy of bliss and joy. I realised that the reason why I was so harsh to this show was because of the potential I saw when I first saw the first episode. I fell in love because I could tell it was symbolic, it was deep, and it also had interesting devices used to tell the plot. Who knew that the pacing and directing of this show would nearly leave me mad and furious because it could have been better. This is all on the director, and sometimes the actors, they weren't expressive enough, they weren't emotional enough, and they didn't entirely sell me on what they were meant to be feeling. Sometimes it felt awkward and stiff and unbelievable, and at those times, I felt disappointed and bored. But the characters of this show and especially some actors (FIAT and JJ) really stole my heart without me wanting them to. I fell in love with the couples, I loved analysing them and feeling their angst and understanding their character dynamics. I lived for their friendship and enjoyed watching how it all came together. Even some of the romantic scenes made me swoon and excited, and I was just so happy to watch these couples choose each other.

I also think the relationship dynamics, whilst sometimes annoying, was actually sweet and wholesome. Itt and Pai's love is so cute and memorable, and I understood why they wanted each other, they both helped each other so much, and I thought it was beautiful. Pure and Folk; everything, no words, they were incredible despite rushed and late, I enjoyed watching their love on my screen, and it left me so disappointed that we could have had more if the pacing was done right. Either way, despite the rants and criticisms this show was a gem to me, one of my favourites just because of the couple dynamics. I will miss it, and I will miss analysing it. But please NEW sort your self out, and stop with the slow pace directing; you're killing your shows, (just my opinion) but you're making me dread the shows I've been so excited for in 2021, and I really pray you won't ruin them. Nough said. 

Ratings:3.8/5 I can't rate it higher, but I do think it deserves credit, this show is very underrated as much as it annoyed me it's actually a decent show, it's very educational sometimes. It also has character development and growth. The romances are sweet and definitely should be paid attention to.

2. A CHANCE TO LOVE/ LOVE BY CHANCE SEASON 2

Genre/Themes: Comedy, Romance,  Drama, Friendship, Rich, poor dynamic, 

Country: Thailand

Verdict:

MGAYG was not the only show that New produced/ directed. There was this atrocity. No offence to everyone who loved this show, I love TinCan, I like most of the couples of the show, I didn't even complain when the show was rebooted, I didn't complain when there was not enough plot for the side couples for the first 8 episodes. But what annoys the hell out of me with this show is the lazy writing. I am so disappointed with this show, I realised that by the finale I was just tired and I was only watching it for some actors not even characters ( I was watching it to see a glimpse of Meen and Est), and it really made me sad. Because I started off with this show a bundle of joy, to see Tin and Can fall in love with each other again, I ignored when the haters said it was boring, awkward or stiff. I even accepted the massive amounts of product placement that was placed lazily and annoyingly. I was ready to forgive everything with this show. But I ended up feeling slighted, not me the actors should feel slighted, Cooheart, Mark Siwat, Gun, Title, Meen, Est should feel slighted by this show because this show wasted their potentials and only showed them for minutes in the whole 12 hours that this show aired for. I am so angry at the writer because she was lazy. She had clocked out when it came to this script (Though I don't blame her when everyone kept on sending her threats to how she told the previous story, she silenced her own creative ideas and muted everything, hence why Kengla and Techno's story was destroyed and became lazy and not needed and confusing, and Tum and Tar and Keen made no sense). Mame had given up on this show long before it aired. 

But as much as I am disappointed at her for doing so, I also have to take this back to New, he's the person again who ruined this show with his pacing and directing. I love New, but this year it wasn't it, he is the main flaw in both his shows, he doesn't know when to pace things properly, he rushes plots at the end, and he doesn't give enough time to side couples for them to make sense. He did well in season 1 I think, but this season was atrocious. I am heavily disappointed, and I want to forget this show exists. I do have to give credit to Mean because I think he carried the show, I think Plan was cute but he was uncomfortable, and he ruined a lot of moments for me despite how much I love his chemistry with Mean. So yeh LBC was a disappointment, but it still holds a special place in my heart because I did care about the cast (maybe not as much anymore because of their homophobia) but LBC was one of my first loved BLs to see such a disappointing follow up is just heartbreaking. 

Ratings:2.9/5 I couldn't bring my self to rate it even a three because I genuinely don't want to rewatch or think about this show again that's a pity because I genuinely love TinCan and MeenEst. But hey ho, c'est la vie. 

RELIEFS

Gaya Sa Pelikula

Genre/Themes: Romance, Drama, Comedy, Angst, LGBTQ+ Education, Contract relationship, Haters to lovers

Country: Philippines 

Verdict:  We finally reached the end. And the way I didn't want this show to end, is just too much. I completed this show on the floor sobbing, clenching my heart and just reflecting and thinking about everything. One I was in shock, wasn't expecting something like this when I first watched this show. I had a lot of doubts despite the sneaky light in my heart from the comedy and energy and charisma from the show. I fell. Hard. For everything. Before I knew it, Fridays meant everything to me, if I could get to keep watching this show, it made laugh, smile, cry, weep, and it made me think and learn. It's weird how a show can mean so much to people, this show wasn't for me, it was a love letter to the LGBTQ+ community, a beautiful one, and with everybody's reaction, I think I can say for all of us, that this show was a masterpiece. It had everything, a plot that was so deep, interesting and unique, characters that felt real, understandable and relatable, lessons that made everyone think and question how they acted, how they viewed things, what we say, how we consider our selves, what is our story that we want to tell to the world?

 It's just incredible, not only that this show had terrific production, directing, acting and music that will stick with me for a long time. The music was perfectly used, perfectly mixed in, and it touched everyone's heart. This show left me feeling healed, it was weird, I don't know how to relate to the struggles of Internalised homophobia, but I get anxiety, I get feeling like you're not the main character in your story, I get feeling like your life was already planned out and your dreams don't matter, I get hiding and running away from the world and finding a place to stay in your head and find peace and I get feeling overlooked and misunderstood. Overall I get the fight for self healing, acceptance and love. And Vlad and Karl went through that, and it was so beautiful to see them grow and become what they wanted to be, even if they couldn't be together because of that. Everything including the side characters in this show meant something, each had their own story, flaws and importance for why they were there, and I loved it. Words can't explain how good this show is, and the fact that no one came into it,  knowing anything is just such inspirational and hopeful thing, out there, there are content and stories to consume that can teach and affect you and make you want to do something with your own. And Gaya Sa pelikula was one of those for me. I don't wanna say Goodbye, and hopefully, we get to see them again soon. 

Ratings: 5/5 I would give this more than 5 if I could. That's how much this show means to me. 

4. I TOLD SUNSET ABOUT YOU/ TRANSLATE MY LOVE WITH YOUR HEART

Genre/Themes: Romance, Melodrama, Coming of Age, Angst, Drama, Childhood friendship

Country: Thailand

Verdict: Wow. All I can say is wow. I find my self not able to talk about this show, because like what else can I say that everyone hasn't said. It's outstanding. No words. I think this show was just out of nowhere, I mean probably not; because it was a Nadao production but still, for a BL? Out of nowhere. The effort, the acting, the music, the production, the themes and the way it was all so perfectly told? It was a journey, I ended up at times also on the floor sobbing, shouting and just like feeling so single. Haha. But really this show is ridiculously good, it's like something that can't be fully explained, it's still a shock to me (and I really need to start believing in potentials of BLs more), it is, I'm just thankful I guess, for the 5 hours spent with this show, the number of essays derived from this show, the way Teh and Oh snuck in my heart and refused to leave. I think we all want a love like Teh and Oh, someone who completely takes your breath away, is selfless for you and is your number one supporter and fan. Someone who the room spins around for and your world only focuses on, someone who makes you brave.

And I think Teh and Oh found that with each other, and it was beautiful to witness, it was heartbreaking as well to see them struggle with it, it was also peaceful to reach the end and see them safe and secure with each other. ITSAY was everything, it also means a lot to me because the writing and directing are effortless, it's inspiring and beautiful to see how it came about, its so fulfilling to see how much effort went into this production. And I can't wait to see how Part 2 unfolds next year. I will say that with all the angst and longing, the ending did feel unsatisfactory because I just felt that all the tension and emotion invested just became really tame at the end, all the angst just fell apart so rapidly, and it felt weird that it ended in a hug? But with all the theories about sad endings and the other directions the writer could have gone with I'm happy it was a happy ending, and I'm delighted our boys reunited and became each other's most immense success/happiness. 

Ratings: 4.5/5  Yeh I want to give it a 5/5 but the ending like I said felt a little bit empty for me, I didn't feel satisfied or like complete but that's because there's a part 2 coming. Still is the best Thai BL ever created. And it deserves all the praise.

November was a ride, I think I've cried so much during these past weeks, but honestly, I'm so glad BLs are just improving and putting more effort in, BLs are no longer just for fujoshis to consume. Still, now they represent and educate about LGBTQ+ experiences, they feel relatable and understandable. They're not as toxic as before. We're getting healthier relationships, we're getting depth and unique plots, we're getting happy endings as well. It's very lovely to see the growth, and I can't wait to see what December brings or next year. I'm just so proud of these actors, I'm proud of actors who actually respect this genre and understands why people like it, for me I really enjoy learning about things I never thought or experienced, it humbles me, and it inspires me so much. I'm grateful for these shows. Hopefully, there's many more like ITSAY and GSP to come. Please. 

[beatriceeagle]

What do you think of later Veronica Mars seasons? Any advice for Rob Thomas? And (I guess about all VM seasons) anything you would change? Thank you

This got extremely long. I didn’t get into things I would change, and I didn’t give any advice; nevertheless, I have a lot to say about Veronica Mars.

The long and the short of it is that a lot of people discuss Veronica Mars as though it is a noir TV show, but it’s not solely or even primarily a noir work. It’s certainly noir-inspired; many of its characters are drawn from noir archetypes; it’s cynical enough about the status quo to be noir; you might say that it’s in conversation with the noir genre. But although noir detective fiction has plenty of hardboiled detectives (Veronica), dirty cops (Lamb), and femme fatales (Logan), where in noir do we place Wallace? Where do we put Mac? Where does Keith go? What about Meg? What about Duncan? (Poor, poor Meg and Duncan.)

By the time it exited its first season, Veronica Mars was just full of too many bright, funny, fundamentally likeable characters—characters who you fundamentally could not suspect of murder—to be classifiable as fully noir. Moreover, the central mystery that it left dangling at the end of the first season wasn’t about murder, or corruption, or betrayal; it’s about romance. Who is at Veronica’s door?  By the season one finale, Veronica Mars is first and foremost what it perhaps inevitably was going to become, when it aired on network television: an ensemble character drama.

Can an ensemble character drama be noir? Well, sure. Veronica Mars is. But in a long-term ensemble character-based show, the needs of the characters have to be served before the needs of the noir. People watched season one of Veronica Mars because they enjoyed the mystery (and the quips, and the romance). They kept watching because they connected with the characters.

Season one balanced those two needs nearly perfectly; that’s why it’s often held up as an all-time great season of television. Season two remains pretty noir (it is, after all, the season of the acquittal of Aaron Echolls), but the construction of its mystery gets overly complicated, and the personal plot—the character drama—tends towards soapy. It still balances well enough to be enjoyable, but it’s undeniable that there are problems with season two of Veronica Mars, and I think they come from trying to figure out how to incorporate the characters into an ongoing noir storyline. Wallace is simply not a noir character, but he gets sucked into a dead-end story about his missing father and a hit-and-run on a homeless guy for half a season. Duncan, once you establish that he’s not going to kill anyone in a blackout rage, is basically a bland, quiet, nice guy, and not in any way a noir character. So he has to go on the run with Meg’s (also not a noir character, therefore killed off) coma baby halfway through the season.

The basic construction of season two of Veronica Mars is that the cast from season one, now cleared of all suspicion in Lilly Kane’s murder, encounter a new noir mystery, populated by new noir characters: Woody and Gia Goodman and Jackie and Terrence Cook on the one hand, and Felix Toombs and the Fitzpatricks on the other. The main cast are organically enmeshed in this new noir set-up to varying degrees. Logan (who is perhaps the most naturally noir character of the show’s early seasons, above even Veronica) is fully integrated in the murder of Felix Toombs; he’s an obvious suspect, and although we don’t believe he did it, it’s understandable why everyone else thinks he did. Logan’s drive to clear his name (or at least stay out of jail) takes him to believable, if unlikeable, noir depths—which the show engages with! If the murder of Felix Toombs were the main focus of season two, it would probably be a pretty great focal point. But it’s not. The main mystery only touches Logan’s storyline for about one episode, where it’s a red herring, and the rest of the time Logan and the Fitzpatricks mostly operate in a parallel track, at best distracting from and at worst confusing the real plot.

The rest of the cast are involved in the main mystery, but their involvement is a tricky thing. Most of them weren’t on the bus when it crashed, or before it crashed. Most of them aren’t directly connected to the Sharks, or to the mayor’s incorporation plan. (Wow, season 2 has a lot of plates in the air.) Their connections are, by and large, second-hand. Wallace is dating Jackie. Mac is kind of dating Cassidy. Keith and Veronica just really like solving mysteries. And also Keith is running for sheriff I guess?

The thing is, those second-hand connections work to keep the show in the realm of noir. We don’t need Wallace to get involved in a hit-and-run, okay? He can just have a tempestuous and heartfelt but ultimately doomed relationship with a girl with a mysterious past. Duncan probably didn’t need to go on the run with Meg’s coma baby; he could’ve just like, gone to boarding school in Connecticut.

Season two is very aware that some of its characters are noir and some of them are not, because it leverages that fact to make the mystery work. Cassidy is on the bus, and then leaves before it crashes; Cassidy alone of the main cast is heavily connected to the incorporation storyline; Cassidy basically has a big red arrow pointing at him for five episodes leading up to the finale saying, “Hey, SOMETHING’S GOING ON WITH THIS GUY.” But Veronica never seriously considers him as a suspect, and the only reason that the viewer doesn’t (if they don’t) is because... it’s Beaver! Beaver’s not a murderer! Beaver’s not that kind of character. It’s kind of like how season one shows you Aaron Echolls beating a guy half to death, but plays “That’s Amore” over it, and you don’t realize you’re looking at a clue—or how The Good Place hid its first season twist simply by being a sitcom. If you don’t know what genre you’re operating in, it’s hard to be genre savvy.

But there’s a risk that comes with that kind of writing: No one was invested in Aaron Echolls, but I can imagine that someone might’ve been invested in Cassidy. I wasn’t, but someone might’ve been. He was in the main credits. He was dating Mac. In order to make season two’s mystery noir, and meaningful, and keep it connected to the main characters, they had to burn a character with some real work invested in him, and do so in a way that potentially broke faith with viewers who really liked that character and his relationships. (And that’s not even getting into the really unfortunate implications of the specific motivation and backstory they gave to Cassidy.)

Season three is just kind of a mess, for a lot of reasons. It’s not particularly noir; they’ve lost the overarching mystery, as well as the show’s central setting; they lean heavily into the character drama, but although Veronica Mars is an ensemble character drama, it’s not just an ensemble character drama, and it can’t and shouldn’t function without a mystery to sustain it. But more importantly, everyone’s a little out of character, so even if character drama were enough, I wouldn’t be all that interested in watching almost!Veronica get in her fifth fight with almost!Logan. That said, I think that leaning into character drama is a safer way to jump the shark than leaning into noir; at worst, the show is going to get messy and boring, which is basically what happens. And the ending of season three is a pretty bang-on noir ending, and falls out naturally from the weird, messy character drama. It’s not a good season of television, but there’s a reason that it didn’t destroy fans’ love of the show.

This is ~*unconventional*~, I know, but I like the movie, both as a fan and, when I try to step back and approach it somewhat objectively, as a critic. It is extraordinarily fanservice-y; I don’t think that’s a bad thing. There are, perhaps, fanservice moments that I find a little over-the-top. (One of them, alas, is the repetition of the “lives ruined, bloodshed” speech; Logan was drunk the first time he gave that, he doesn’t remember it, and that’s half the point!) But on the whole, the movie gets it. Logan and Weevil (and Gia, may she rest in peace) are inherently noir characters who you can insert into a mystery or a story about corruption or cynicism, and although we don’t want them to have done the big bad thing, they will operate smoothly within the confines of the system. Wallace and Mac are visitors from another genre; the make connections, they comment, their lives are sometimes affected, but they are not noir, and their stories should not be noir. Veronica and Keith are the pivot, constantly drawn into Neptune’s seedy network of crime, trying to root it out.

It’s basically the Logan-and-Fitzpatricks storyline from season two, but updated so that a) Veronica and the rest of the cast is actually involved, and b) Logan is a much more likeable person. And it turns out that that’s a totally solid engine for a movie! And because it’s so fanservice-y, we spend time with all of the characters, even the ones who aren’t really entangled in the noir plots. Mac gets stuff to do. Wallace gets stuff to do. Piz... gets... poor Piz.

Season four leans heavily on the noir. So heavily, in fact, that the characters who aren’t natural noir characters are virtually nonexistent within the season. Wallace doesn’t have a storyline; Mac doesn’t appear because Tina Majorino refused to be in the season, since she wouldn’t have a storyline. Weevil, whose noir tendencies have put him on the outs with Veronica in between the movie and season four, has a story, but it’s not one that’s heavily tied to the main plot, and he’s not around much.

Structurally, season four is similar to season two, in that the main cast encounters a new mystery full of noir characters: Patton Oswalt, Matty the mini-Veronica, that politician and his family, those cartel hit men, Veronica’s bartender friend Nicole. The difference is that in season four, the main cast has functionally been pared down to three people: Veronica, Logan, and Keith. Oh, and Dick. Dick’s still hanging around, I guess.

Because of that, we spend virtually all of our time in season four with Veronica. Sometimes a little with Logan, sometimes with Keith, but mostly Veronica. We see her making friends with Nicole; we see her taking on Matty as a protege. We see her fight with Weevil; we see her fight with Logan. 

Oh boy, do we see her fight with Logan. Because there are so few subplots to distract from it, Logan and Veronica’s relationship is, in many ways, the story of season four. For a show trying so desperately hard to cling to noir and run from character drama, season four isn’t really about corruption; it isn’t about power; it isn’t about cynicism or brutality or the ways that Neptune has been and always will be bad. It’s about a relationship, and what happens to it when one person (Logan) is trying to move on to a healthier place, but the other person (Veronica) is still stuck in old, toxic patterns of behavior.

Nearly everything in season four is in some way about the Logan/Veronica dichotomy, or about their relationship with each other, or about the way that Veronica is pathologically stubborn and guarded and suspicious, and how that kills her relationships. It’s the thematic underpinning of the Matty storyline; it’s what the Nicole storyline turns on; it is, whether the show understands it or not, the devastating backdrop of the few scenes in which Weevil appears.

This is all fine and noir, but again: It comes to its fullest fruition, it finds its highest stakes, the season’s arc reaches its climax, in a romantic relationship. Which the season is, fundamentally, devoted to the psychological exploration of. And when Veronica decides that she can commit to marrying Logan, that is a key moment of character development, in a show that has historically been an ensemble character drama, in a season of television that has been, at least for Logan and Veronica, at least partially a psychological character drama.

And then Logan blows up.

And look, I am not opposed to killing characters. I’ve defended the death of Lexa on The 100 on this here very blog. But Logan’s death is 1) stupid, 2) at a stupid time, and 3) for a stupid reason. He dies moving the car across the street, just at the culmination of a major psychological arc about toxicity and moving on and opening yourself up to others... so that Veronica can stay toxic and guarded, I guess?

It renders any character development we’ve seen from Veronica in season 4 pointless. It cuts the character development we’ve seen from Logan for over a decade tragically and meaninglessly short. And it does it all in the name of taking a hard turn into “pure” noir, so that Veronica can go investigate mysteries in other towns, unencumbered by a troublesome cast that viewers are unwilling to suspect of murder.

The problem is that that cast is a lot of what’s good about the show. Maybe there are people who watched season four of Veronica Mars and came out of it thinking, “Ah, yes, what this show needs is even less of the ensemble cast,” but I was not one of them. The Veronica of season 4 is not a particularly likeable person. Veronica, on her own, was never all that likeable; what she was was funny, and understandable, and righteous, and decent. She had people around her to be likeable, to provide you with an entry point into her mind, to show interesting sides of her you might not otherwise see, to call her out when she crossed a line, and to give the show a lightness that made it fun. The bomb that blew up Logan may have made the loudest noise, and had the most final impact, but it wasn’t what killed season four; that happened when the writers sidelined Wallace.

It is, I’m sure, difficult to balance being an ensemble character drama with being a seasonal noir mystery. (Jane the Virgin ran into similar trouble, in the long run, balancing being an ensemble character drama with being a telenovela.) Nevertheless, Veronica Mars is both of these things, and blowing up the ensemble to service the noir is inevitably going to alienate viewers, because viewers have a reasonable expectation that the shows they’re watching will continue to be the same general kind of show. And because many viewers were drawn to Veronica Mars at least as much for the characters as for the mystery.

So my very, very longwinded opinion on the later seasons of Veronica Mars is that I think the show has an identity crisis, and I don’t think it’s going to resolve it any time soon. It may not be resolvable; honestly, television might not be the best medium for ongoing Veronica Mars stories at this point. But I have very little interest in watching any further seasons produced, so it doesn’t matter much, from my point of view.

[mermaidsirennikita]

on penelope: the fat girl rep

Okay.

I have seen several people (not calling any single person out, I’m calling multiple people out, thx) in the Discourse of Bridgerton use the “as a fat woman”/”as a big girl”/”as a plus size woman”/”as a curvy girl” label in order to spiel into how Penelope’s attempt at completely ruining not only her pregnant cousin but herself and her sisters is... normal fat bitch behavior.  Because you felt unloved as a fat chick, because you felt insecure, because the skinny broads were just so mean to you.

So let’us allow another take, from someone who has been shopping on and off for plus size clothes since I was in middle school.  I mean, I think the “as a fat bitch” thing is a bit.... disingenuous and fake an attempt to glom on to the same types of identity politics that people who face systemic political oppression can use because they are people of color or LGBTQ+.... but let’s take it.

Penelope is an asshole, and her age and her fatness is not an excuse for how much of an asshole she is to multiple people.  Furthermore, if you really are gonna be all #fatbitchrights about Bridgerton--perhaps focus on critiquing the way that there is one (1) plus size character in the show, who could have had a perfectly lovely and sexy romance, but has instead had her chatty gossip rag plotline transformed into a “I’m jealous of the gorgeous skinny girl and desperate for a man who has never shown an interest in me” plot a la Fatal Attraction.

Nicola is hot.  Let’s get that out of the way.  She’s a super pretty girl with a beautiful face and a great rack, and frankly?  As a fellow pretty girl with an awesome face and a great rack who nevertheless has almost never seen someone with my body type enjoy sex in a bodice ripper style onscreen, I was excited for her plot.   

But they take Penelope, who is played by a hot fat actress, and turn her into a character who has been universally loathed by every person I have spoken to who has not read these books and therefore does not have an alternate version of Penelope to care about.  Every person I’ve spoken to, several of the reviews I’ve read, have dragged Penelope for filth--and rightfully so.  Because while Marina would have (gasp) had a wealthy privileged white guy raising a kid who wasn’t his with a beautiful woman, Penelope had her pregnant cousin facing lifelong ruination, possibly homelessness and forced sex work or God knows what else to support her unborn child (who would have done nothing to Penelope or Colin), and furthermore nearly ruined her sister’s chances of happy, good marriages.  A little different, that.  And fuck, who cares if Penelope was 17?  She was looking for a husband, too.  Women grew up a lot faster due to societal restrictions in the nineteenth century, and fuck--I don’t know a single 17 year old in the 21st century who would do something that vile for... a guy?  And if they did, I wouldn’t say “hey, you’re a kid, kids make mistakes” I’d say “what the fuck is wrong with you” because what the fuck is wrong with her?

Newsflash here: every woman and girl is going to face insecurities about her appearance and body.  That is just the ugly, unfortunate society we live in.  Not every fat girl is going to spend her life wishing she was skinny and feeling jealous of the skinny girls around her.  Jesus, considering the fact that most American women are around Nicola’s size or at least in its range--there would be a lot of spinsters weeping at the window if that was the case.  It is not the case.

Penelope does not get a pass because she was jealous of Marina, or felt insecure or unpretty, and nobody gets a pass for trying to explain her shit away because they’re fat.

Additionally, let’s circle back to one of the most horrendous implications of Bridgerton.  That the girl consumed by jealousy and pining after a man who will never want her, oh no, is THE ONE FAT GIRL.  Why is this not what y’all are pissed about?  Instead of justifying show!Penelope’s horrendous actions, why do you not instead call the show out for this horrible take?  Nobody I know who has not read the books wants to watch Penelope fall in love now, and tbh--it almost feels like the show taking a cop out to avoid a hot love story about a fat woman that would have the same eroticism as Daphne and Simon’s story.  If they decide not to do it a few seasons from now because the show is its own damn thing and they can and ALSO everyone hates Penelope...  Then that’s one less thing to worry about.

Penelope is not your relatable fat rep.  And she’s certainly not someone I’d want younger fat girls to relate to.  Have a fat girl who sure, has insecurities, but is also flirty and fun and outgoing.  Have a fat girl who is lingered on by the camera as sexy, who is desired by the men on the show (and Nicola certainly could’ve been this).  Why does the fat girl have to be quivering and jealous in order to be relatable?  

[huacheng-zhu]

ok so 2ha. vague spoilers ahead (important spoilers are warned but watch out)

that’s a solid 4.5/5 for me. this novel RUINED me and I loved it for it. it made me feel like very few novels (and even stories in general) did. today I’m STILL shaken over a part of it that I read two days ago, despite the happy ending. I have A Lot of thoughts (shout-out to @whateverwuxian​ who can testify that I couldn’t shut up about it, love you buddy!!) so I just went ahead and [gestures below]

starting with the negative so we can enjoy all the positive later. feel free to discuss but I’m extra sensitive and these are only my personal feelings so they probably won’t change anyway, so be nice please!

what I didn't like:

too many r*pe scenes. I get that the non-con """makes sense""" narratively and thematically but like. they didn't have to be explicit. at the very least not all of them. sorry but too much is too much. there are more non-con sex scenes/flashbacks than consensual sex scenes! stop! we get it! enough now!

not a fan of a 26yo falling in love with a 16yo. if cwn had initiated Anything I would’ve thrown the novel out the window. but thankfully it didn’t happen, I got invested, and nothing mutual happened until mo ran was 22, so I mostly got over it, but I’m still somewhat uncomfortable with it for very personal reasons.

their first time putting it in. it felt so unfair and I was very upset over it. it could’ve worked without going There? why. was that necessary. and it's heartbreaking for both of them, because mo ran didn't want to do it either. he wanted them to take all their time. he wanted to go step by step. all he wanted was to make sure cwn would be happy and comfortable and never hurt again in bed. for their first time that way he wanted it to be special. but it was just. taken away from them, and for what? for nothing there’s absolutely no reason for it. I get there’s the metaphorical foreshadowing of the upcoming reveal aspect (spoilers) both of them not consenting, mo ran being horrified -> the reveal that mo ran was cursed and so would’ve never wanted to treat cwn like this in the past either if he’d had control (end spoilers) but still?? and it’s never brought up again? I know they don’t get the time until the very end but hhhh. yeah I have Feelings over this

some plot twists hit good emotionally but had no point? thinking of the one about xue meng here.

there’s horny, and then there’s mo ran. it’s not a bad thing, it’s just not the kind of stuff I like reading about and book 1 and 2 are A Lot on that side so in book 2 after a while ME, THE BIGGEST ASEXUAL WHO COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT SEX SCENES, WAS LIKE, “oh my god have mercy please just fuck already I beg of you” and indeed they chilled a bit after that. like they were still horny but. less intensely and less all the fucking time. thank god (I still think the farm arc was hilarious to witness though, and I did love it)

kinda wish their reunion at the end was longer and more emotional but that’s just because I love that shit

(spoilers) kinda wish we got to see shi mei again before he went off doing his blind wandering doctor stuff. a talk with ranwan would’ve been very interesting. (end spoilers)

xue meng didn’t get a hug

that one thing at the end you know the one. maybe I'd be more into it if it'd been given time to be explored seriously and wasn't played off as a joke. it kinda ruined the mood of their last scene for me. (spoilers spoilers spoilers this is the end of this section if you don’t want to get spoiled) in that scene I wanted chu wanning to ride off into the sunset with mo ran, not txj. like, txj is the alternate world’s “if there had been no transmigration” version of mo ran 2.0. the whole point is that mo ran IS txj in book 1, but changes and becomes mo ran 2.0. mo ran 2.0, who by the end of the novel has already done all the redemption and deconstruction of his dubious habits. who he was as txj is long behind him. at this point txj will always be a part of who he was, but they are pretty much two 'different' people now. txj disappearing into dust after everything that happens at the end was beautiful symbolism. it meant something. to me there was no point keeping txj around after all that other than for “haha split personalities fighting over cwn’s attention uwu” THAT SAID the fact I'm not a fan of the idea doesn't mean I don't like txj. I care txj a lot and have Emotions over him, and I will definitely eventually explore this in my writing

(still spoilers) the demonic blood reveal was a bit.... deus ex machina? plus I personally would've preferred mo ran staying a regular person (end spoilers)

alright what I liked now:

the themes, both regarding the characters and the various plot elements. this novel really challenges your morals and what you think is right or wrong, what’s redeemable, what’s punishable, and how much one relies on first impressions, amongst other things. this novel is the definition of “don’t judge a book by its cover” but also “look further than the first page” in so many ways

the romance. like I don’t need to say anything there. just, the slow burn, the longing, the yearning, the romance [clutches heart]

the plot twists/reveals. I’m so glad I was barely spoiled (I was spoiled two Big things but very vaguely so I was still surprised) because pretty much all of them had me shouting “WHAT” and/or gaping and/or various “what the fuck!!!”/”holy SHIT”/“NO” reactions

the way a lot of those reveals just completely change your view on things/characters?? that’s my jam

wontons. that was the first time I cried and my first very physical reaction to an event in this novel. I literally felt like time froze. I heard my heart beating. it was painful but AMAZING.

might be nothing in the grand scheme of things but honestly, all the food! I love that mo ran is an excellent cook and can make all those delicious dishes for cwn. as someone who loves to cook for their loved ones I think it’s so lovely that he gets to do that

the character growth. for everyone, but mo ran in particular? like I just. I started off not liking mo ran very much, straight up despising him at times, and in the end I was fucking sobbing over him and cried myself to sleep only to wake up in the middle of the night to cry some more so there’s that

chu wanning? there were aspects of him that I related to heavily, and that felt both like the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and very special because it doesn’t happen to me that often

the whole deaging arc. that was deaging done right and it had a purpose in the narrative and their relationship growth, I was “!!!!”

I LOVE how they took their time with EVERYTHING once they got together? that it spanned over several weeks? that it started with the confession, then just holding hands, then kissing, then making out, then sex, and even the sex was step by step! it said A LOT about mo ran’s character growth and it respected SO MUCH the fact that cwn is a 32yo (unrelated but (spoilers) I like to argue that yeah he’s been alive for 32 years but when you’ve been asleep and not aging physically nor growing mentally for five years in a way that makes you a 27yo. so when he calls his body “mature and old” and compares himself to shi mei I’m just. buddy your body is just three years older than shi mei’s there’s barely any difference in maturity right there. I know it’s your lack of self-worth speaking, and believe me I get it, but don’t be so hard on yourself. (end spoilers) anyway, this is an unimportant and unrelevant thought that I had during the mirror scene) who has no experience in any of these things whatsoever. he's not pushed into sex like he's going to be comfortable right off the bat and like it isn’t such a big change in a life that’s been ascetic so far. mo ran is aware of that! and when they have their first time mo ran, who’s been maybe even more horny than cwn all this time - seriously horny is that guy’s middle name, who initiated the sex, what does he say!!! "don't worry about me, tonight, I just want to make you feel good"??? mo ran?? your character development??? I appreciated that so much.

the pain. I’m still bleeding on the floor despite the happy ending but yeah. I like angst and I was not disappointed. it didn’t feel that gratuitious to me, more like, brutally honest? I don’t cry that easily but by the end I think I’d cried, what, close to ten times??

quite a few excellent quotes [lies down] “I realized - I had grown into the you in my heart”?? “hell is too cold”??? I highlighted more but those two are the ones that always come to my mind first

most of the time the flashbacks were perfectly inserted for maximum emotional damage and I respect that skill

xue zhengyong. like he’s not my favourite, my favourites are xue meng, nangong si and ye wangxi but? I just adored him so he gets a special mention

the side characters? like, I legit loved Everyone? when I cry over side characters you know it’s serious

THE CONFESSION SCENE. LIKE. HOLY SHIT MY HEART. it comes reaaally close to the vocal one (because hua cheng confesses so many times without words) at the end of tgcf for me. it was beautiful. I was so emotional. the fact that cwn can't say it no matter how much he feels it. like it's always been plain and clear just how much he loves mo ran. but he can't say the words yet and I just. the fact that mo ran gets it? that he doesn't need the words, just that squeeze of fingers, just what cwn is, at that moment, able to give him, and it doesn't mean less to him than words would? it hit home real hard

unless I think of something else, that’s about it! I can’t recommend 2ha enough, that said, I beg of you, heed the warnings. they are NOT overstated. and even if there were no warnings, take care anyways. the angst is serious, it haunts you. angst always makes me feel like my chest is being squeezed and that’s precisely the feeling I’m looking for when I choose to read angst. I have good tolerance to it, so despite not doing entirely well lately, I thought I was tough and went for it, but I’m a CLOWN. the way it’s written ruins you. this morning despite reading the hardest part of the angst on saturday evening, I still had some physical chest pain. so I recommend it with all my heart, but take care of yourselves. 2ha doesn’t fuck around.