#but yeah damn cheating au is messy messy

[arcade-writing]

Little Bunny

NSFW 🍋

Pairing: William Afton x AFAB! reader

Warning: age gap (reader is a grown adult), infidelity from William, pet names, minor breeding kink, Daddy kink, William is a shitty person, manipulation(?), rough sex, boss x employee, reader is unaware William has wife and kids (they're new to town and Will makes no effort to show he's married), reader is pretty oblivious, eating out, protected penetration, desk sex, minor pervert! William, scent kink, pussy slapping, Condom breaking, Praise kink, creampie, light degradation, he starts off 'nice' and then gets mean, alot of dirty talk, minor choking, overstimulation

Hey y'all... how's it been... I haven't posted a story since uh- April 17th, 2023 ....... yeah....hello again! I genuinely had the worst writers block & honestly horny block. Even when I started getting ideas and my thirsting back on, it was just never enough to write. I always hope when I start writing again it'll mean good news for my flow but, idk. (Also P.S I'm doing art commissions so if y'all wanna check that out you can right here , if you wanna, Just reblogging even if you're not interested would be really helpful, thank you!)

This is based off my own au so timeline may make no sense compared to the games and it is a rough idea - we're here for smut not lore. So please excuse the rough wages timeline wise. Just wanna say, I do not condone cheating or really, anything William does - but if you're crushing on a fictional character that kills kids you gotta accept he's gonna be scum. And sometimes you gotta embrace it a little.

You were one of the newer hires since the business has been getting slower, one too many crimes attached to the Pizzeria's reputation. Missing kid cases connected to the business but no proof to say it had any real causality to them. Bodies never found, no camera footage, solid alibis. Nothing. But that didn’t deter people. In fact, it seemed to bring a morbid curiosity. Some wanted to feel a sense of scandal by just being in the building. It was a small town, everyone knew everyone. Hearing their family diner was the talk of the town for so many headlines was horrid luck in attracting outside locals.

Unbeknownst to you, you were Williams best employee and to him, his little bunny, he was obsessed with you. But he knew had an image as your boss and a family man to uphold; but that didn’t stop him from trying to get a slice of your attention and getting what he wanted. He was a selfish man; he tried of the perfect suburb he’s crafted for himself. Who was he to deny his interest in the new hire? Sure you were younger but that just seemed to go in his favour.

Abit thankful the town, even in their grief, were still held by the morbid curiosity and tendencies to still come. The small boom in business makes it feel like how it has to be. Even gave him a reason to finally bring their newest attraction; a new band to play now he and Henry had to practically remodel themselves to centre stage. Freddy’s little band was minor show they pulled when they couldn’t perform or either of the springlock animatronics were out of commission. But if William can still keep this damn business afloat; he can give the spotlight to his newer creations.

The kids were finally done demanding your attention; it was a slow day since it was still early morning and most kids were at school. A band of kids flagged you down and insisted on giving you a makeover. Reluctantly, you agreed and you had two little girls who put chunky plastic jewelry they won or had on you. The boys immediately tried to put face paint on you, putting messy yellow face paint around your eyes and a bit of your cheek. You were so thankful when their parents finally coaxed their children to let you get back to work.

Huffing as you headed towards the back of the diner to get to the staff bathrooms, the back was still semi in construction. Loose wires here and there, some unpainted walls. Your coworkers said before the press and the police investigation the diner was expanding it’s building but with everything that happened; it’s all been delayed. Meanwhile, William saw everything through the security cameras, watching the chunky computer flicker through footage. Spotting you head towards the back, where the cameras were still buggy, quickly heading towards his office door and opening it; just so conveniently opening the door when you walk past and spotting you. Wearing that signature grin under his scruffy beard, his smile stretching uncomfortably wide. Stretching to his eyes but his stare never matched.

“Ah- little bunny, hopping away from the job, huh?” He teased softly, knowing full well what you were doing.

At the sound of his voice, you jump as a noise of surprise slips out from you.

“No! Oh no-! I just wanted to get this face paint off!” You quickly say, not wanting my boss to think you were trying to slack off. Sheepishly gesturing to the thick yellow face paint around your eyes as your cheeks, feeling them heat up with embarrassment. You looked so stupid. He couldn't help but laugh, that was the reaction he liked – seeing you becoming sheepish around him. He can feel his smile grow wider.

“We can’t have you not look the part.” He tuts, using the still semi wet face paint on your cheek and smearing it on the tip of your nose, making a heart shape with it , his thumb now smudged with yellow as he liked the bunny-like nose he painted on you. It surprised you, eyes widening as you grew an awkward smile as you adjusted your uniform. Your trainers are scratching the back of your other leg, feeling the purple knee high socks roll down due to it. “I guess we can’t.”

“Let’s fix that then.” William patted the doorframe of his office before gesturing you to get inside, he wasn’t going to have you scurry off to the bathroom. “Come sit, little bunny, let’s sort this face paint, hm? I don’t want anyone else seeing you like this in public” He chuckled, moving out of your way so you could enter. “It’d be pretty embarrassing-“ William saw the way you squirmed at the idea of being considered an embarrassment to your own employer, deciding to give you some mercy as he finished his sentence. “-for you, wouldn’t it?”

You reluctantly agree, sighing as you walk into his office. Seeing the golden bunny plush on his shelf of memorabilia of his work. Trying to calm yourself down from your own prickling nerves, Fiddling with the wire bunny paper holder on his desk as you couldn’t help but chuckle at the obvious attatched he had to to the long eared creature. His eyes followed your every move; the bunny plushie was something important to him, something sentimental; it was a plush of the golden rabbit he once dressed up as. A victory statement to himself for what he got away with; he liked having trinkets of his achievements. He closed his office door, contemplating locking it but didn’t want to get too eager. Making sure the window was covered with the mini curtain; the more privacy the better.

He guided you to sit In the plush yellow chair beyond you, grabbing some wet wipes from the drawer of his desk. “Such a soft little bunny, can I touch?” He asked playfully, crouching in front of you as he turned his attention to your face, using a wet wipe to remove the paint smear from your nose first. Your nose scrunched at the sudden feel of something wet. The smell was always too clean – some just smelt acidic. When you sat down, you didn’t expect to get somewhat pampered, you knew William could be pretty hands on as a person but you didn’t expect this. He cleaned up the rest of your face without much issue, his movements were precise and a bit rough when it comes to rubbing off the face paint on your cheeks. The thicker spots and cheap paint make it cling to your skin abit more. When satisfied with the wipe and picking up the next wipe to start on getting the yellow around your eyes off, careful to avoid poking your eyes.

Peering down as he saw you fiddling with the fabric of your shorts; one of the reasons he loved the summer time. He got to see your pretty legs on show. He had the desire to run his finger down the length of your shorts, he couldn’t get the thought out of his head, like an itch he couldn’t scratch. But he held himself back, just as he did with the urge to pull you away from the seat right now and on top of him.

Once he pulled away you gently tried to dab away some of the dampness with your hand. Your cheeks stinging a bit from his roughness. Smoothing out your clothes to look more presentable as you hummed. “Thank you, Mr Afton.” You say, just reaching down to sort out your fallen down sock.

“It's not a problem at all, I have to make sure everyone follows uniform code.” William shrugged, throwing the crumbled wet wipes into the bucket looking pin by his desk. You were so oblivious to how obsessed he was with you. Letting him wipe your face clean and didn’t even protest. He often wondered what excuses you made up in your cute little head to not dwell on his behaviour.

His focus shifted as he watched you reach down, beating you to it as he grabbed your ankle and propped your foot on his thigh, wiggling your sock back up until it reached up just under your knee, giving you a pat with his signature grin. You knew this wasn’t very professional but he always seemed so doting; you just took it as perhaps it was just his instincts to take care of others. Unaware of the horrific things he’s done. His persona to others as this caring, sweet businessman – blaming him snapping at workings as stress and then gifts his employees with free snacks or drinks to make up for it.

“Thank you again.” You say. Nodding to your now lifted sock as you look down at him, still crouched before you.

“I already said it's no problem, being too polite can be annoying.” William stated, his words sickly sweet. As if just giving some friendly advice. Rubbing your knee as his thumb caressed it. He knew this might be inappropriate but he needed this and you were such a good little employee; you wouldn’t speak up, you were a good little bunny that does what he asks. Always trying to please the people around you and fit in as the new hire of the place.

He could still see the faint remnants of yellow face paint around your eyes that he decided to leave alone, it made your eyes pop, it made you look even more pretty. He gently grabbed back of your hand, holding the palm upright and used his index finger to draw his initials in the centre; marking you as his in a way you’d never know, his other palm was hovering over yours gently. He leaned in and made sure the blinds of the window were still shut; gently kissing your hand.

Which you, in turn, jumped at the kiss – the giggle you let out at the ticklish feel of his finger drawing on your palm cut off by the surprise you felt. Feeling the scruff of his beard on your skin as your lips part. “oh-!” Your brows scrunch, unsure how you felt about him doing that as you chewed on my bottom lip. One half enjoying the attention; enjoying to be doted on and his nice words but you knew that wasn’t what a boss should do. Glancing back over to the door; perhaps it was time you went back to work now you were all cleaned up-

His smile grew a little wider as your giggle was cut off. Seeing you glance at the door, he immediately grasped your hand with both of his, adjusting to rest on one knee as his aching legs screamed at him. "sorry, I just wanted to show my thanks, you’re such a sweet bun.” He lied so easily, quickly trying to dismiss your concerns. “That was abit forward, wasn’t it? I can be like that, how I was raised and all.” When he said how he was raised, a part of you felt a little guilty for being so quick to rush off. Assuming so poorly of his actions; not like an older man hasn’t kissed your knuckles goodbye before without ill intent.

“oh..okay.” you reluctantly accept. But you were still worried you may be enjoying his attention a little bit too much. Your stomach twisting, remembering you shouldn’t be accepting this but..it felt nice. My brows scrunched and twitched as your brain spun. It wasn’t like he wasn’t an attractive man, abit scruffy but he always seemed so cheerful and wanted to make others happy. Leaning into the plump back of the yellow office chair as my hands continued to fiddle with my work shorts. My brain screaming two different things at me it kinda just made me freeze. Go still until my brain could decide what it wanted.

William loved seeing the innocent expression in your face as he looked up at you. You seemed so helpless. You were his. The fact you were allowing this, excusing it told him all he needed to know. His mind was always the eager opportunist. How far could he really push this? His eyes falling to your ankle, the fact your foot still rests on his bent knee, you made no move to remove him or yourself. His smile turned sly as he bent closer to your foot, beginning to untie the knot of your trainer.

“It's alright, it’s okay.” He shushed softly, doing his best to come off soothing when his mind was running wild. One hand went to your thigh, pushing your hand from its continuous fidget as he smoothed his palm along until the fabric was bunched up as high as it could, exposing half of your thigh to him. His other hand taking advantage he had big hands to massage, squeeze and caress along your calf down to your ankle. “Those shoes still look new, bet they pinch.” His brow raised, giving the tip of your shoes a pinch.

“They do… sometimes.” You answer quietly, becoming a deer in the headlights at the feel of his palm against your thigh. Your heart rate immediately spiking as it thumped like a drum in your chest. Your cheeks growing warmer as you leaned completely against the chair. Hands going to the sides of the cushion, gripping into them. Unable to stop the soft sigh that escaped you at the feel of your aching calf being messaged.

He slipped your shoe off as it landed on the floor with a thud. “Poor little bun.” He tutted with mock sympathy, rubbing your ankle and the heel of your foot. Repeating the same for your other leg as he put your trainers to rest by the plush seat. Swapping hands to soothe your legs.

The scruffy man looked at your work shorts, an idea coming to mind. “Bet uniform can be such a pain at times, The summer heat must be doing you no good- they could cause chaffing, we should get you changed into a size that looks more comfortable.” He cooed a little more, trying to convince you by disguising it as concern. He knew you weren’t stupid; oblivious but not stupid. You couldn’t make decisions for yourself, He needed to do it for you.

Your breathing immediately stuttered. Your hands raised to your chest to fiddle with your own fingers. “I don’t know- I don’t think you-“ The words got caught in your throat as your eyes kept glancing at the door. Your mind was screaming to get away and not indulge but my body felt like putty when you felt your muscles relax from his caressing and firm hands. He had such lovely strong hands…you couldn’t deny you’ve thought about them before. He made machines, sure with Henry, but he obviously knew how to use them for intricate wiring and metal work. Your body was absolutely relishing this man's hands being on you.

“That’s right, you don’t think and that’s okay, let me do it for you.” He chuckled, his voice soothing but his words had some bite. A part of you made you whimper at his words; you didn’t mind the sound of that. Letting him think for you. His signature smile stretched high on his cheeks, moving your legs over his shoulders as he was still bent on one knee. Grabbing your work shorts, unbuttoning them and shuffling them down, abit awkward with how you were sitting but nothing that would deter him. You gasped as you didn’t know if you should lift your hips or just stay still. Sliding off your shorts as he hummed happily at the sight of your skin now properly exposed to his wandering eye, his tongue clicking when he saw you press your thighs together.

“Now, now, no hiding from me, I need to check if you have any chaffing.” He scolded, lying through his teeth with glee. Easily prying your thighs away from each other and forced your legs apart to ‘inspect’ your smooth skin. Grinning wider when he saw the little wet patch on your underwear, a shiver running through him. Oh you really like him.

You immediately tried to hide your face behind your hand. One hand covering your crotch to hide the shameful evidence of your arousal. Whimpering a little as your feet dug into his shoulder blades a little, your breathing getting heavier embarrassment. Trembling as you couldn’t bring myself to peek at what he was doing. Feeling as if you were in a dream; there was no way this was happening. But everything felt too real, too much it was making your nerves feel like they were being electrocuted.

“How many times will I repeat myself with you? No hiding.” His voice suddenly grew huskier, snapping at you. Firmly grasping your wrist as he shoved it away from your crotch. He wasn’t going to tolerate having to say the same thing no matter how cute you were. “Look at you, getting wet just for me…have I been a bad boss? Neglecting my sweet bunny? Does that spot need attention?”

He licked his teeth, his brows knitted from his previous annoyance but his voice dripping like honey as he looked down at you. Not wanting to wait for your response. Grinning wildly and staring directly at your hidden face. The fact he could get you this riled up and helpless in his presence excited him beyond belief. He could hear the sound of your little whimpers, sliding your underwear gently to the side to attend to that slick cunt of yours.

“there, there.” Giving your vulva a wet kiss as he shakily inhaled your scent, shuddering at finally getting to sniff it beyond finding left over clothes in your locker. Finding your panties in there was a jackpot, how angry and red his cock was after stroking it so mercilessly to your sweet scent.

Immediately, you let out a scandalised gasp. Your hands shot up and grasped the back of the plush yellow chair. Eyes wide as you shuddered, “Mr Afton-!” You squeal out as my feet kick and dig into his back as my toes curl beneath your socks.

He loved that response, that high-pitched little squeal you let out as your body became the epitome of vulnerability in his arms. He had to hold in a moan of his own, his heart feeling like it was going to explode in his chest and his cock straining in his pants.

“Shhh my little bunny, it’s okay, let me clean you up.” He shushed in a sing-song tone, using those hands to firmly press your legs still. Making sure you couldn’t squirm away. He huffed in your scent a little, giving more kisses along your wet folds, Each kiss leaving a wet smack. Letting his tongue trace along with the smallest licks, just teasing you.

You whine, back arching as your hands grasp and clutch at the back of the chair as your eyes squeezed shut tight. Your legs twitching and digging into his shoulder blades as you let out cracked whimper. “Mr Afton.. please..” you weren’t even sure what you were begging for – for him to stop and be professional? Act like it never happened. Or for him to keep going. You liked what he was doing – it’s been so long since someone’s given you attention like this, most guys only wanted their turns. Feeling the scratch of his beard on the inside of your thighs, prickling your sensitive skin.

William kept kissing and sucking gently, burying his nose into your heat as he peered up at you as he gripped your thigh and hip to keep you still. Only parting to coo more encouraging words at you. Wanting you to let go and be a good bunny. To be his. “You’re doing so, so good my little bunny.” Feeling no guilt to using his control over you as he licked a long strip up your pussy. “Let your boss take care of you, it’s what I’m here for.” He mocked sweetly.

It made your stomach flutter and twist; your eyes unable to peek, keeping them eyes shut tightly, as you sighed. Relaxing and sinking against the chair as you trembled. Your body is unable to deny how good his mouth felt. He let out a pleased hum that vibrated against your folds, his hand smoothed up your hip and pushed your button-up shirt up your stomach to keep it out of his way.

“There, that feels better, I think. Doesn’t it?” His tongue left a trail of wetness where he licked and sucked. Nuzzling his face into your pussy as he moved his head side to side, groaning as he inhaled deeply your sweet scent. He loved the sound of your whimpers, your soft little whimpers. How sensitive and responsive you are to his mouth. Groaning against your hot flesh as his other hand smoothed from your thigh, pulling your underwear more out of the way to make sure he could pamper your cunt with his kisses. His tongue prodded at your entrance as he kneeled fully, letting his nose nestle and bump against your clit.

“..yes..” you breathed out, one hand dropping from the gripping the back of the seat, your hand instinctively grasping his well kept hair. Brown and grey strands in your fist as your eyes fluttered open. Your hips bucked and squirmed with his continuous kisses and licks. Your lips falling open and unable to close them. His breath hitched at the sudden grasp of his hair, a low groan leaving his lips. “My little bunny wants more.” He hummed, his face moving to the side as he sat back a little to watch your face.

The way you bucked and squirmed, he couldn’t help but feel that satisfaction of knowing he was the one to make you do so. Seeing you grasping his hair as a sign to keep going. He knew he could hold you down and continue to pleasure you to his heart’s content. But he wanted to see how vulnerable you could become as he leaned back, his warm breath blowing over your sensitive spot. He wanted to see how far he could push you, to break you out of your shell as his eyes gazed up at you. Hastily burying his face back into your weeping cunt as he kissed up and began hungrily sucking on your clit. Feeling it throb against his tongue as it traced the letters of his name against it. Shaking his head as he did as he slurped noisily.

William pulled back for a small gulp of air, not wanting to part from your perfect cunt for too long. “How does that make you feel, sweetheart?” He teased, eyes squinting as his thumb caressed your tummy. “your boss making you feel so good, sucking on your clit like that?”

You mewl, tugging on his hair as your back arches from the constant attention to your sensitive bud. Just his breath fanning against it was making you shiver. “Yes- yes sir-“ but once those words left your mouth he tutted, shaking his head as he pulled back more. Frowning as he licked his now glossy lips. “No, no, bunny that’s not how you address the man eating out your pussy, now is it?"

“…n-no?” You stammer with confusion, already whining at the loss of his mouth. Tilting my head as I gave his hair another tug, wanting him to continue but all that did was make him slap your clit. The sting and suddenness made you jump with a yelp. A moan fluttering out your throat. Your legs squeezing at the side of his head, your knees bumping into his ear.

“No is correct.” William hummed, proud of your answer, caressing where he slapped as he raised a brow. “You should call me daddy, that sounds nicer, right? You can call me that, can’t you?” He coos, tilting his head as his nose crinkled as his smirk grew. Expectant eyes watching your every move, seeing the embarrassment grow on your face. Your lips opening and closing as you just let out a shaky breath. Slowly nodding but that earns you another slap. You let out a high pitched whine at your poor bud getting smacked.

“Use your words.” He ordered, his voice only growing firmer, this time not giving any soothing caress to the small sting. “yes…daddy” the word falls off your tongue, making your stomach twist and flutter. It felt strange but it didn’t feel wrong. Despite your hesitance he rewards it by bending back down, lavishing your sex with kisses as muffled praises left his lips.

Williams tongue was long And thick but grew a bit more slender to the tip of it. It dragged and lapped at your wetness as he groaned. His hand on your thigh, adjusting your leg on his shoulder as he kept his face pinned to your heat. The hand holding up your shirt tugging it up after unbuttoning a few of the bottom ones. Pulling the edge of the shirt towards your mouth and you bit down. Holding the shirt with your teeth as you slightly drooled against the fabric. With his hands free, his thumbs now on either side of your fluttering hole to keep you open. Grunting as he prods his tongue into you, fucking you with it as he sucks and slurps hungrily at your arousal. You gasp, shaking as your hands tug on his hair and try to pry his ravenous tongue from your sloppy cunt. It was too much- groaning deep into the fabric between your teeth as your eyes fluttered.

William plunged a finger inside you alongside his tongue. Only pulling back to speak. “don’t fucking try to stop me. You can handle it.” He immediately went back to work as your head flew back. Your legs are tightening and kicking against his shoulder blades. “I’m gonna-“ you whine, breathing as shaky as the rest of you as you squirmed. Feeling yourself dangle right at that edge as his finger hastily pumped in and out of you. Getting closer and closer – feeling so good- just as you reached right on that edge he suddenly pulled away, liicking his lips. Making you cry out in protest, eyes wide.

“Daddy- no- I was almost there!” You pleaded. Too needy to be embarrassed by the title for him as you gave another kick to his shoulder blade with the heel of your foot. He just tutted and shook his head. "No, you're only gonna cum around my cock and only then.”

Your eyes widen. Breath hitching as words caught in your throat making the shirt drop from your mouth. Unable to even try to speak as he suddenly pulled himself from in between your legs and grasped your hips, yanking you up. Bouncing you in his arms with a strained grunt as he carried you over to his desk. Grabbing what files he could and shoved it to the side – letting anything else be swiped off without care. Placing you down on the edge of the desk with a small thud. You hissed slightly at the small smack of your rear against the old hardwood. He unbuttoned your shirt at your chest, opening it up as he grinned at the sight of your chest.

“Daddy’s waited so long to play with these.” He breathed out, moving your shirt more out of the way to keep your chest exposed. Squeezing and groping at it, pressing against the perk of your nipple. Caressing it with the pad of his thumb as he hummed.

Your breathing hitches, puffing your chest more into his big hand, feeling dizzy from the way it felt like he was engulfing you. His fingers long but still thick, palm rough with work and age. You grasped his wrist as he kneaded at your chest as you glanced down and saw a prominent tent in the front of his pants. A small wet spot already formed from his own excitement.

Noticing where you were looking he used his other hand to unbuckle his pants, tugging them down to his ankles along with his boxers. Letting his cock spring free as it smacked against his yellow shirt, the sticky tip just smearing pre on it as it drooled. Twitching as your eyes were glued to it. He’s longer than any of the guys you’ve tried before, thicker too but not too much. “O-oh shit…..” You breath out with wide eyes, reaching out your hand to grasp it but he stops you. “Ah ah- no Bunny, you’ll make me cum if you do that, let me feel you cum around me first.”

You nod, and yelp at another smack to your poor throbbing clit. Covering your mouth to muffle your surprise as you panted. Removing your hand to respond as he raised an expecting brow. “Yes daddy-“ with a satisfied hum he strokes your tummy as he pushes your back more against the desk. Ready to align himself with your hole, his eyes watching the way it clenches at nothing in anticipation. Sticky with your arousal and his spit. Eager to feel exactly how good you’ll make him feel-

“Wait-! Do you have a condom?” You ask with a flurry of sense, so caught up in the whirlpool that was William and your need you almost forgot. Sure you’re already on birth control but you always preferred to be safe.

At the question, William huffed quietly. Forcing his uncomfortably wide smile back as his hand twitched. A flair of annoyance rising at your request but he wasn’t looking for any risk to this. As tempting as knocking you up sounded, he couldn’t handle another snot faced kid. Three was more than enough. Besides, he can’t let anyone find out about this. So with a nod, he walks around the desk and goes through the top draw where he spots a purple condom. You immediately felt relief upon seeing the packet; confused why your boss has it but thankful nonetheless.

Once rolled on he resumed his position between your legs as he stared down at you. Licking his teeth as his brow twitches, his smile still perked on his lips. “Now you’re gonna take daddy’s cock, aren’t you?”

“Yes daddy, fuck me!”

“Dirty bunny.” He chuckles with surprise. William lines his cock with your entrance, rubbing the tip against your clit. Tapping the head of his cock against it before dragging it down your folds. He grinned as he suddenly grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand to his dick and curled your fingers around it. “You want it? Then guide it in, bunny, be good for me.” You did just that, aligning it perfectly, your hips flexing as your legs adjusted at his hips and slid down on the head of his cock.

Immediately, Your eyes rolling to the back of your head at the stretch. “Oh-! You’re so fucking tight.” He thrusts a couple of times, fighting the resistance. He desperately held back the urge to cum, groaning as he slid in and out. Sawing himself into you as he worked you open with his cock. You already felt so much better than his wife. You didn’t bitch at him or refuse to let him eat you out. You didn't say no to him. And you’re so tight- squeezing his dick like you owned it. And William wasn’t a man to be owned but he could definitely get use to your pussy hugging him whenever he needed you.

His cock buried deep Inside of you as he eased in, nestling right against that certain spot. Making you let out a strained moan, eyes rolling back. “Easy, Bun, easy-“ he hushes, his stubble tickling your ear as he hunches over you. His teeth tugging on the shell of your ear as he let out a husky chuckle.

William paused in his thrusts, giving you a moment to fully adjust. Wanting you to become more needy as you squirmed. Rolling your hips as you tried to grind against him. Seeing your pathetic state, he gave you a second before he thrusts into you once again, His grip on your hips were tight. The first squeal of your wetness from his movements made him let out a rumbling groan from his throat. Pumping into you as he nodded his head. The resistance of your tightening walls growing less and less as his fingers dragged and kneaded into your hips. “Take it-take it! Fucking take it!” Skin slapping against skin, his grip on your hips as your body dug into the desk underneath you, you kept your hand to your mouth to muffle you.

Williams thrusts were getting faster now, his thighs smacking into yours as yours, your legs squeezing his hips which only pushed him closer, his heavy balls slapping against your ass, the desk creaking. Everything building together with his rugged breaths, your muffled whines. His eyes pinned you down as one hand snaked up your body to your throat, squeezing ever so slightly as his cock kissed your g-spot as he arched his back.

It all made your stomach clench, that tightening knot in your gut approaching quicker, clamping down on his cock with every stroke. “Gonna cum on my cock, bunny? Making you feel good?” he taunted, tilting his head as you desperately nodded your head. Trying to respond back to him as your voice cracked and your moans overcame any words you attempted to speak. “Cum on it, squeeze it tight, come on.”

“I’m gonna- ohh- fuck-!” you squeal, your eyes rolling as your back arched, panting as your hand tightened over your quivering lips. You could see his hair messy and no longer neatly slicked back, the part you tugged on and the sweat on his forehead ruining his hair gel made the tuffs sweep over his forehead. His brows tightly knit in concentration. “cum on my cock, little bun, go on.” He grunted, keeping up pace as his hand tightened around your neck. Just beginning to steal the air from you as your fluttering eyes remained rolled. Bucking your hips furiously as your orgasm crashed over you. Whimpering as came, and you came hard. Practically choking his dick as you did. Stars littering your voice as you whine, tugging on his wrist to let go of your neck.

With a groan he let go of your neck but his fingers twitched. Itching to do it again. He slammed his hand right by the side of your head as he kept a tight grip on your hip. His thrusts getting shaky and erratic.“Fuck, bunny I’m about to cum-“ he could feel the warm of your heat. Feeling the friction from the condom against his sensitive tip. Feeling it roll and shift, chewing on his bottom lip as you whimpered and whined.

“That’s it, Bunny, You gonna let Daddy breed you? Fuck you full of my cum, I bet you want that-“ he was cut off by you clenching around him. Groaning as he shuddered. “Ooh…Well your body definitely likes the idea.” He gleefully chuckled. Shaking his head as he kept fucking you. Chasing that high of his impending release.

You moaned louder, your hand slightly uncovered from your mouth to try and let you breathe and William sneered. Thrusting into your tight cunt brutally. “Shut up! Are that much of a slut you want the whole building to hear?” he speaks through gritted teeth, you immediately let out a whine, shaking your head. Your words are shaky as you quickly deny being a slut but he just licked his teeth. Tilting his head.

“Oh really? You're not? Why do you think you’re in this position then, huh?” He just grunts as he continues thrusting. “you’re a slutty bunny, just letting your boss undress you- letting him eat your pussy-” William groans, his sentences getting chopped as he panted. Bullying his cock into you over and over. “Letting him fuck you, this what you wanted, you let this happen – you’re a slut.” His words made you whimper, the truth stung but your mind was so foggy, lost in the haze of your pleasure, you could barely think. Just trapped being a squirming mess as he fucks you.

“Don’t whine, don’t act like it’s not true.” William scolded, sliding his hand just on your lower stomach, pressing down where his cock is inside you. “That’s my cock deep inside you, gonna deny that too?”

You shake your head. “No daddy-“ your response is immediately reward with him patting your hot cheek abit roughly as he nodded. “That’s right, can’t deny it – the sound of your wet pussy squelching and wetting my cock is more than enough evidence, isn’t it?"

“Yes daddy.” Your words came out slurred, nodding as your lips kept parting as you drooled. Eyes fluttering as you squirm and arch as your second orgasm is forced out of you as you squeal. Your feet digging right into his ass as overstimulation shocked you. Hiccupping as your poor pussy fluttered around him, each stroke of his cock against your walls made your veins spark.

That was all he needed, cursing under his sharp breath as he squirted thick ropes. Just registering how he painted your inner walls. His glues just catching the sight of his cum sticking to him and smearing on the lips of your pussy. A spark of satisfaction grew in him but also annoyance. Making sure to fuck his cum more into you as he tore his eyes away, you were too blissed out to even realize. Overstimulation already making your brain a mess. Shaking as you felt warmth flood up to your stomach.

He slowly eased out, looking down once again. “Oops-“ he says almost lazily, too riddled with euphoric high to pretend he cared. Looking at the torn condom, ripped and stretched at the thick head of his dick. His cum stitching to your cunt with a thick string. Your juices absolutely soaked him, making the rubber shine under the lights of his office. Panting as he pushes back his messy hair. “Well, this is one of those things you risk when you’re a slut, isn’t it? Accidents happen.” He tuts, having enough sense to fight off the smirk wanting to raise on his lips.

You see the broken condom and your stomach twists. For a moment you believe your heart stops as you watch him, tug off the broken condom as he throws it into the bin. Letting out a pleased hum as he grasps his dick, smearing his cum and your juices on your thigh to clean himself up. Raising his hand to suck on his finger and groans; enjoying the taste of you once again. Tugging his pants back up, he pulls out his wallet from his back pocket and pulls out some crumbled cash. “Here, bunny, I should take responsibility.”

With a chuckle William puts the cash in your trembling hand, leaning down to your cheek to give it a few doting kisses. Stroking your hip as he did. You whined when he pulled away, you were completely and utterly fucked. Your hand clenching around the dollar notes as you stare up at him. Your brain was utterly turned into putty. He grabbed your underwear from the floor, wiping his cum from your sloppy cunt but he didn’t return them. Putting your underwear inside his desk drawer, with a smile.

“Let’s get you presentable, I’ll send you home early, ain’t that a win?” He teased, giving your cheek another kiss before he grabs your clothes from the floor. Helping you redress and steadied you back on your feet.

“I’m hoping this won’t be our last time, bunny, you were perfect.” He reassures, squeezing your hands as he nuzzles his nose against yours. You blinked as you nodded, heart racing as you leaned against him. On your tiptoes to reach his height with a small smile. “Really?” You ask, voice shaky and quite. William nodding as he strokes your knuckles, giving your forehead a kiss.

“Go on, Bun, hop along!” He smacks your ass as he guides you out of his office. You stumbled out and tried to make yourself more presentable as you smoothed out your uniform and fixed a few buttons. You could hear your blood rushing through your ears as you went out of the pizzeria in a daze. Your brain is unable to stop the spinning wheel of his heavy breaths. His thrusts that left you still aching. Clutching the dollars tighter as you knew where you’d be going before heading home.

[brrrkdslek]

MINGI, YUNHO & THE PROFESSOR!

✦ 1 — MINGI,

❒ you loved all your students equally. actually, scratch that. you loved them sure, but no one beats your top student, jeong yunho. along with the lowest, song mingi. curiosity takes you on a ride as you find out the two are secretly lovers.

❒ college au, hardcore smut, student! mingi, professor! male! reader

❒ cheating, hair-pulling, degrading, blowjob, hickies, semi-public sex, himbo mingi, breeding kink, creampie

you threw your head back as a long moan escaped your mouth. your grip on mingi's hair tightened with each second he bobbed his head. although the boy's academics were terribly terrible, he gave you the best fucking head you've ever received.

pressing down on the boy's leaking cock with the tip of your leather shoe, he whimpered pathetically. he was secluded under your desk, in the big classroom where he took your class just twenty minutes ago.

why is he giving you head? well, he enjoys it. anyways, the final exams have just finished and when the marks came out, mingi begged at your feet to give him an extra mark or two just like he had every single damn semester. you had grown attached to the 'himbo' as what your other students referred to him as.

"oh- baby, i'm boutta cum," you look down at him with a lustful glint in your eyes, "lemme cum in that pretty mouth of yours, yeah?" mingi moaned and nodded his head eagerly. you quickly push yourself further into him, your cockhead prodding at the back of his throat, making the boy shake and whimper.

just as you were about to continue, a knock sounded from the door before yunho came in. you had to bite back a smirk at how physically tense mingi got. "ah, sir!" yunho jogged towards the front of your desk, "have you seen mingi around?" your grip on mingi's hair tightened as you answered, "no, i haven't. why, is something the matter?"

you smirked when yunho stuttered over himself, trying to find the right words before replying, "uh- yeah! we planned to meet up just outside of campus but he never showed, so i got a bit worried." you shove your hand into your suit pocket, feeling mingi's phone.

"ah, is that so?" yunho watched you place your ringed hand on the desk, spinning your pen in your hand. "u-uh, yeah! i'll give him a call later, thank you!" he bowed before exiting the classroom, closing the door behind him.

you look back down to see mingi's eyes gleaming with guilt. "hey, suck properly whore." gripping the back of his head, you shove your length into him once again, sending a mixture of pain and pleasure to his cock. he moaned loudly, sending vibrations into your cock as you threw your head back, cumming into his mouth.

you run a hand through your, now messy, hair. pulling your cock out, you signal for him to swallow your cum, he did as you said and opened his mouth after swallowing, cock still dripping with precum.

pulling the male onto your lap, you teased him, "don't 'cha feel bad for cheating on your boyfriend? everybody told me you two were a 'match-made in heaven' or whatever." mingi whimpered as he grinded onto your dick, "mmh~ h-he'll understand..." mingi held your neck and kissed you in a haze.

you grin and line yourself to his hole, "right. he should understand that grades come before love," you thrusted into him in one go, filling him up with your cock. his body shook as he gripped onto your shoulder, as if his life depended on it, "i also come before him, right?"

drool leaked from the corner of mingi's lips as he jumbled over his words, "y-yeah! you're ma' first, no one else is as important as you, sir!" he cups your cheeks gently before smashing his lips onto yours. mingi began bouncing on your cock as you made out, turned on by the thought that you could be caught anytime.

he pulled away, panting. a string of saliva still connecting your bottom lips, you smirk and take out his phone, showing him the screen. mingi stiffens as he read what was shown on his screen. "incoming call from... yuyu-" mingi let out a loud moan as you suddenly thrust upwards, hitting his prostate.

"ugh~ sir, please! go easy on me..." mingi bit his lip as his eyes watered, "baby, if you want those extra marks, you gotta work hard for it." clicking answer, you put it on speaker and shove the phone back into mingi's hands. then you held onto his hips tightly before fucking him at an inhumane speed.

"mmh~ oh!" "mingi?" mingi covered his mouth with one hand as he heard his lover's voice from his phone. "uh- y-yeah, yunho! hey..." "are you okay? where are you?" "i'm at- ah! oh my god..." mingi quivered as you suddenly bit down on his nipple, making him cum right then. you grinned as you littered his body with love bites.

"are you running...? why are you panting so hard?" mingi cursed himself internally for letting this happen, "uh, yeah. sorry, i don't think i can make it today- ugh~! ho-hongjoong called me urgently, so i have to- oh~ get back to w-work...!" mingi buried himself into your neck while biting down to quiet himself. you groaned at the feeling and thrusted harshly, you were gripping him so hard he'd probably bruise from it.

"alright, love you. take care!" "ugh~ l-love you too... bye." as the call ended, mingi dropped the phone onto the ground as he moaned loudly. you grinned and pulled his hair, making him arch his back. "you dirty little whore... you really have no shame saying 'love you' to yunho while your swallowing my cock, huh?" you suck and bite at his adam's apple, bringing the boy to tears.

"'m sorry! ah, w-wan'chu, sir..." you loosen your grip on his hair and he immediately captures your lips in his. you pull from the kiss by pulling at his hair, frowning. "i realised that you only come to find me whenever you need extra credit, but when you don't, you don't even bat an eye at me, so why should i give you the marks?"

mingi cried as you pounded into him, "ah! please, sir! a-after this, i'll always find you. every week, after your lessons, i'll stay back! d-do whatever you want to me, make me yours! i'll be your bitch..." mingi slurred out his words as he drooled and moaned, "i'm yours, sir..."

you couldn't help but get even more aroused at the thought of breeding the campus whore every week, after your lesson. you grinned as you imagined how well behaved he'd be if he knew he would get fucked right after. you grin as you yanked at his jaw, "that's right, whore. you're mine, not that yunho's, not whoever the fuck wants to fuck you, me. just me, your professor who fucks you just as you like, hm?"

mingi giggles, "y-yes! only yours, i'm your property, your fucktoy, your cumdump, anything you want me to be, i'll be just for you, sir!" he kisses you passionately, praying to whatever god out there that he would carry your babies and be with you forever.

you pulled away, "how was the exam anyways? i thought you improved, no?" mingi gripped your shoulders as you rearranged his guts, tears began to fall from his pretty eyes. "i- i did my best! i tried so hard, but i still failed!" he cried in frustration, feeling his ass burn every minute you fuck him harder.

"aw, my love." you cooed at the boy, rubbing his tears from his cheeks with one hand, "you don't worry your pretty little head about it, okay?" mingi sniffled and nodded, nuzzling his face into your palm, "you do your best, and i'll do the rest. leave it to your professor, m'kay?" mingi moaned and nodded, then you went back to your animalistic pace as you thrusted upwards, hitting his prostate every time.

he moaned and twitched as his cock bounced with him, precum never stopped leaking. "y'know, you're lucky you have such a pretty face, mingi. who knows where you'd be without it." smirking, your thrusts get lazier as you came with the last few thrusts, triggering his own release. beautiful sounds came from mingi's mouth as he came, cumming all over his chest, even getting some on his chin.

he panted as he laid on your chest, "alright, you earned yourself five extra marks." mingi jumped up, "five, really!? thank you so much!" mingi tackled you in a hug. you snorted at the irony of how different he was when you were fucking his brains out, "i love you mn!" mingi said with a big grin on his face, you smiled back, "i love you too, mingi."

©BRRRKDSLEK 2023

[visionoasis]

One of my Sonic fanfiction romance icks is cheating stories.

It’s not the act of cheating itself that’s the problem for me. It’s everything around the cheating. I feel like the writing is often weak, the characters almost never feel like themselves, and I think the Sonic franchise is not suited for it. At all.

And I’m not even talking about the act of the cheat for the characters feeling out of character. I mean yeah. That’s obviously part of it. But the personalities are often so… out of character that I just don’t buy it. For example: a lot of sonamy vs sonally stories the characters get venomous so fast! This happens in a lot of Sonadow cheat stories too! I’m sure it’s across the board. (A lot of people pick the same few “victims” too. Which is an interesting commentary in itself.)

I’m not blind. There are certainly some examples of the behavior in “canon”. Like in the Archie Comics. I like to think I’m not closed minded either. I like crackships. I like AUs, canon x OC, gay, weird scenarios, whatever. You don’t have to stick to the canon guideline. I dare say it’s better if you loosen up and do your own thing. I do.

But I feel like in addition the writing is often very bare bones reasoning as to why the cheating happened? The motivation is almost always the same across works. “New person hot, I’m attracted”. And while this is a very real reason people cheat it often comes with weak character writing. People often sacrifice character depth for the drama of the cheat. Especially for the person being cheated on, they’re often a blank slate because the obvious focus is the ship they wanted to write.

Which that… works... that’s fine. Nothing wrong with that. But it doesn’t make the story compelling either. Especially in long form. It reminds me of the other irks I have with the trope too. Like the victim killing themselves or the victim secretly being an abusive asshole all along to justify the actions, etc etc. For me it’s not fun to read. They’re narrative shortcuts to write the happily ever after of the ship and I think ruins the point. I tend to like stuff that embraces the messiness and characters that own they aren’t being nice. It should be messy because they made a messy choice.

Don’t confuse these as judgements. These are blatant preferences of mine. Not every fanfiction has to be a grandiose art piece that we will tell tales of for eons to come. You should write what you like. And undeniably people clearly like reading it, as that’s why there’s so much of it. You damn well shouldn’t be writing to make people like me happy. I am so obviously not your demographic and that’s very okay for both parties!

But I can still have thoughts on it and reflect why it doesn’t bring me enjoyment. If that bothers you; write more fanfiction about it for the real ones. I respect that.

[graceful-starker]

It’s Unhealthy (I Don’t Give a Damn)

Summary: Bruce knows that he’s being used. He knows. He isn’t stupid; he knows the pretty freshman in his English class who’s almost always attached at the lips to her stupid, pretty boyfriend isn’t actually interested in someone like him. 

Warnings: toxic relationships, kind of cheating but also not really?, alcohol, drugs, hurt/comfort.

Notes: This can absolutely be read as a stand alone fic, but this is the first chronological entry of my Messy College AU. I got a really great comment the other day on this series and it really motivated me! I have a lot of plans now.

Also this story takes place fall semester a year before the main story (Just a Friend and Peter's Boyfriend) takes place. But again, it can just be read as its own thing too.

Rating/WC: M/4469

~~~

Bruce knows that he’s being used. He knows. He isn’t stupid; he knows the pretty freshman in his English class who’s almost always attached at the lips to her stupid, pretty boyfriend isn’t actually interested in someone like him. 

But they’re at a party with Bruce’s best friend Thor's football team, and there’s lots of alcohol and at least three joints being passed around, and the pretty red-head is hanging off of Bruce’s arm and giggling at literally all of his stupid jokes. 

It feels good. 

Even with the pretty boyfriend glaring daggers at him, even with Thor giving him a disapproving look. She’s pretty and she’s laughing at his jokes and she’s rubbing at his arm in a suggestive way; it feels like a good idea.  

“I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this hard before!” she lies, smiling brightly up at him.

“Your boyfriend can’t make you laugh?” Thor asks, and Bruce fights the urge to glare at him. 

The girl ducks her head and looks up at Bruce from under her lashes. “What boyfriend?”

Bruce’s eyes light up, and he smirks at Thor before looking back at her. “What’s your name?” Bruce asks, leaning down to softly ask in her ear. 

“Natasha,” she answers, practically purring. “But you can call me Nat. What’s your name?”

“Bruce,” he introduces, and then nods at Thor. “This is my friend, Thor.”

“Nice to meet you Thor,” she says, without turning to look at him. 

Thor scoffs and stands up, going to talk to Natasha’s (ex?) boyfriend. For some reason. Bruce ignores him, moving the arm she’s hanging off of to rest on her thigh just above her knee. “What are you studying?” he asks her. 

“I’m a dance major,” she announces proudly. “You should come to one of my shows,” she says, and then smirks and lowers her voice. “I can show you how flexible I am.”

Bruce hums, feeling a lick of heat run up his spine. “I’d love to see you dance,” he murmurs, his face very close to hers. 

“I can show you now,” she offers, her free hand resting on top of his and moving it up her thigh slowly. “Take me dancing. I like this song.”

Bruce is planning on taking her somewhere, but then Thor’s hand claps down hard on his shoulder. “Bruce!” Thor says jovially, making the younger man jump and glare up at him angrily. “I’ve introduced myself to Clint, here, I see him around the field sometimes. He’s plays sports too, he plays archery,” he says. When Bruce just forces a smile at Clint instead of saying anything, Thor sighs. “Anwyay, you’ll never guess who Clint is friends with!”

Bruce thinks he could guess, actually, but Nat has put some space between them and looked away and Bruce just wants this to be over. “Who?”

“Steve!” Thor announces happily. “Rogers, from the track team. What a small college!” he jokes. 

“Yeah, what a coincidence,” Bruce snarks. The jocks know each other, wild. 

“Why don’t we set up a get together with all of us? A movie night, maybe. Steve could bring some of his friends, Clint could bring his girlfriend. We could make a real party out of it.” Thor squeezes Bruce’s shoulder. 

Bruce works his jaw, flexing his free hand out of anger. “Sounds great, Thor,” he grits out. 

“Great! Come on Clint, I think I saw Steve sneaking around here, I’m sure we can find him.” He leads Clint away by the shoulder, and the younger looks over his shoulder at Nat with an expression Bruce can’t read. 

Nat watches them leave, before huffing in annoyance. “Your friend needs to learn how to mind his fucking business,” she snaps. “He gets to flirt with any girl he wants, but I can’t? Bullshit.”

“Agreed,” Bruce mumbles, but then he smiles at her. “You’ll be there, right?”

“I don’t know, why would I want to go?” she asks, arms crossed over her chest. 

“Because I’ll be there,” he says easily, scooting closer to her. He wraps one arm around her shoulders, leaning in so their faces are almost touching again. 

Nat grins, looking down in a way that might be shy if Bruce could be fooled into thinking she was shy. “How will I know when and where?”

“I guess you’ll just have to give me your number,” Bruce deduces boldly.

Nat giggles softly, leaning into him. “I guess I will,” she agrees, and Bruce feels his chest flutter.

~

The party is awkward. Thor is the only person he really knows; he knows Steve through Thor, but they aren’t that close. Steve invited some of his friends from his psychology class, Bruce guesses, since they’re all talking about an upcoming test. Sam, Bucky, and Rhodey are nice, but Bruce doesn’t know them and doesn’t have a lot in common with them. There’s beer and a pizza box, which is being ignored until everyone gets here, apparently. 

Clint is there too, sitting on the end next to Thor and looking about as miserable as Bruce feels. His arms are crossed over his chest, and he’s checking his watch every two minutes. Natasha isn’t here yet, and Bruce isn’t drunk enough for this. 

Thor’s front door busts open, and a guy with asshole shades and a plastic bag walk through, an arrogant smirk in place. “No need to worry, the party has arrived,” he announces. 

“Tony,” Rhodey half greets and half admonishes, standing up and walking over. “It’s just a movie, not a party.”

“Well, I brought a blunt anyway. And a case of beer, just in case,” Tony says, and Bruce perks up. “Where should I put it?” Rhodey only sighs and sits back down. 

“Beer can go in the kitchen,” Thor says. “Is anyone here morally opposed to smoking pot?”

No one pipes up, so Tony shrugs and puts the beer in the kitchen before making his way over to sit in between Bruce and Rhodey. “I’m Tony,” he introduces, and Rhodey rolls his eyes. 

“Bruce,” Bruce supplies. “Thanks for bringing something to make the night semi-enjoyable,” he says softly, not wanting Thor or anyone else to hear his joke.

Tony laughs, handing Bruce the blunt and a lighter. “You can start us off, Bruce. What’s your major?”

Bruce thanks Tony and lights the blunt, taking a deep hit and only coughing once. He hands it back to Tony, along with the lighter. “Double major in nuclear physics and chemistry. What about you?” 

Tony’s eyes light up before he takes a slow drag, blowing out the smoke easily before passing it to Rhodey. “I’m a chem minor, that’s pretty cool. I’m a mechanical engineering major.”

Bruce hums, turning his body to face Tony. “Wow, mechanical engineering?” He watches the blunt be passed to Bucky, who takes a drag and coughs violently. Rookie. “Must be really smart, then.”

Tony beams at him, his eyes sparkling behind the glasses. “I’ve been called a genius,” he jokes, and Rhodey rolls his eyes like there’s an inside joke there. “But you must be smart too, a double science major. Suicidal much?”

Bruce snorts, watching Steve argue with Bucky about his own right to the blunt. Something about asthma. “Well, who did you have for intro to chem? Because Dr. Phelps made me want to blow my brains out at least once a lecture.”

Tony laughs again, turning to watch Steve win and take a tiny drag, before passing it immediately to Sam and coughing up a lung. “No, I had Dr. Chang. She was chill, I think she doesn’t really like teaching though.”

“Ah, she was my organic chem professor. You lucked out,” Bruce says, furrowing his brow. “You good there, Rogers?” he calls.

Steve keeps coughing into his arm, but he gives Bruce a thumbs up and blinks through his tears at Bucky, who is whispering urgently at him. Sam passes the blunt to Thor without taking a hit, rubbing gently at Steve’s back. 

“Anyway,” Tony says, looking back at Bruce. “What goes into a nuclear physics degree?”

“Lots and lots of psychics,” Bruce says, feeling the hit start to help him relax. He vaguely notices Clint taking the blunt from Thor. “Lots of math classes, annoyingly.”

“You chose bad sciences if you don’t like math,” Tony grins, leaning back in against the couch. 

Bruce is about to say something when there’s a knock at the door. Thor calls for them to come in, and Natasha walks through the door. Bruce feels his breath catch, watching her look around the room. “Hey everyone!” She greets. 

“Natasha!” Steve greets, almost choking again. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

Nat grins and walks over to Steve, ignoring Bruce who’s trying to catch her eye. “Yeah, I got invited,” she says cheekily. “Did you try and smoke, Stevie?”

“I succeeded, actually,” Steve says, but his voice is broken and his eyes are still watery. “I only kind-of died.” Bruce didn’t know they were friends, interesting. 

She snorts and ruffles his hair, before going over to Clint and stealing the blunt from his fingers. “Clint,” she greets.

He blows his smoke out into her face, a smirk playing on his lips. “Tasha.”

Nat hums, twirling the roll between her fingers gently. “Whose turn is it?”

“Brucie here started, so it’s his go again,” Tony pipes up, obviously checking her out. 

Natasha grins evilly at them, before turning back to face Clint. She wraps her lips around the blunt, taking a long drag before pulling it away from her lips. She holds it in her lungs, turning on her heel and walking over to Bruce. 

Bruce raises a brow, fighting the urge to shoot Tony a confused look. She crawls into his lap and tilts his chin up, slotting their lips together and blowing the smoke out into Bruce’s mouth. She pulls back once she’s done with a smirk, eyes alight with mischief. 

Bruce feels his cock twitch under her ass, and he holds the smoke in his own lungs long enough to feel it before blowing the tiny amount of leftover smoke over her smile. “Hello to you too, Nat,” he greets.

Nat laughs softly and holds out the blunt, which Bruce takes after a slightly embarrassing pause of confusion. “Is there beer?”

“Kitchen,” Tony says, cocking his head to the side. “Well it’s my turn now, are you going to help me out too?”

“In your dreams, dude,” Nat says, not even looking at him. She gets off of Bruce’s lap and heads for the kitchen, and Bruce and Tony watch her go. 

Bruce turns to Tony slowly, letting out a slightly hysterical laugh. Tony grins widely, shoving Bruce and taking the blunt back. “God damn, Bruce,” he whispers. 

Bruce laughs again, more relaxed, before turning ot see Clint death glaring at him, and Thor shaking his head with a frown. He quickly turns back to Tony, watching him pass it back to Rhodey after another hit. “God damn,” he agrees. 

~

Bruce is really book smart; he knows this. But shit, if he isn’t stupid. 

They’re at a real party this time, months later, some frat party with way too many people and a seemingly unlimited supply of booze and weed. Someone brought brownies and pre-cut them into single serving sizes so newbies won’t send themselves to the hospital. Bruce takes two and a plastic cup of beer, shoving his way through the thick crowd to find his friends. 

He finds Thor talking to someone from his team, one of the people who live in this house. Not wanting any part of that conversation, he tries to find Tony instead. He finds Tony dancing with some random girl; Bruce learned quickly how often Tony finds a new person to warm his bed, never spending more than a couple weeks with one girl. 

He was going to try and find Steve instead, when he turns and sees it. Sees Natasha ‘dancing’ with Clint; more like rubbing her body against his while sticking her tongue down his throat. 

Bruce is stupid. He shouldn’t feel like this over a girl who has very clearly only using him to make her boyfriend jealous. No matter how wanted she made him feel. 

But they had been talking more lately; just talking. Talking about her feelings, and how dancing makes her feel, and how much she misses her little sister. Talking about how she never thought she would get to go to college, with her parents raising them on a farm. Talking about her hopes and dreams, and how she wants to see the whole world and dance in every corner of the world. She smiled at him and when she did, he felt like nothing bad could ever happen again. He felt so happy just to make her happy, so…complete. 

Fuck. He’s in love with her. Bruce is stupid. 

A hand wraps around his arm and he turns, seeing Tony frowning at him sadly. “This party sucks,” he yells over the music. “Wanna come smoke with me?”

Bruce shoves one of the brownies in his mouth and offers Tony the other. Then he downs his beer and leaves the cup on a table, sniffs once, and nods at Tony. “Let’s go.”

They’re able to find a corner of the backyard that nobody is throwing up or fucking in, and Tony pulls a blunt out of his jacket and lights it. He takes the first drag before blowing it out and passing it to Bruce.

The music is still really loud, but it’s muffled out here. It’s colder, too; the semester is almost over and December is fast approaching. Bruce takes a slow drag and blows it out, crossing his hands carefully over his chest, making sure he won’t burn himself. 

“Who cares about her anyway,” Tony says after a while of comfortable silence. 

“I do,” Bruce says miserably, flicking the blunt over the grass and sighing. 

“She’s not the kind of girl you want, Bruce,” Tony says, turning to face him. Bruce does the same, noticing that Tony has his arms crossed behind his head and a sad smile on his face. “You want someone who’s a keeper. She’s fucking around, playing with that kid. I’ll bet you they’ll be in an on-again off-again relationship through the whole time they’re here, and then they’ll break up for good at graduation.”

Bruce takes another drag, blowing out the smoke away from Tony before turning back to him. “She could be a keeper, if she found someone she wanted to keep her.”

Tony scoffs. “No, she wouldn’t be. Trust me. I’m her, pretty much. I’m just not stringing along some poor girl and giving her hope I’ll change one day.” 

Bruce laughs at that, his head starting to feel lighter and the world starting to get hazy. “You won’t settle down some day, you don’t think? Not even for the right person?”

“There is no right person,” Tony says, taking the blunt back and staring at it for a second. “You really don’t know who I am, Brucie?”

Bruce is too high for that kind of question. “You’re Tony. You’re my friend.”

Tony smiles, turning back to Bruce. “I’m Tony Stark,” he says softly. 

Bruce just stares, because did he really go all this time without knowing Tony’s last name? “I’m Bruce Banner,” he answers. 

Tony snorts, shaking his head and looking up at the stars. “I can’t tell if you genuineyly don’t know who I am or if you’re just too high to care.”

Bruce furrows his brows. “What, you’re the president or something?” he snarks.

Tony laughs again, placing the blunt between his lips and taking a short drag before putting it out and pocketing it again. “My dad is Howard Stark,” he says. 

Bruce hums, looking back to the sky himself. Then he gasps, getting up on his elbows and staring at Tony. “The billionaire?”

Tony turns to him again, smile a little more sad. “Yup. There is no right girl for me; I’ll wait until my parents find some heiress I’ve never met and am expected to marry, and we’ll both be miserable as we raise a kid we don’t want. Then the cycle will repeat.”

Bruce winces, laying back down and staring up at the sky. “You’ll find someone,” Bruce says after several minutes, when the sky is turning different colors and his head is dizzy. “And when you do, you’ll change for ‘em.”

Tony sighs, making a disapproving noise. “She would have to patient as a saint,” Tony says softly. “Shit, if I found someone I respected enough to love, I’d want her to find someone better than me. Because I’m a lot of work, and I don’t think I’m worth it.”

“You’re worth it,” Bruce says, grining and turning on his side to fully face Tony. “Even though you’re a lot of work.”

Tony breaks out into a fit of giggles, and manages to struggle his way into a sitting position. “Come on, Brucie bear. Let’s get you back to dorms before you can’t see straight anymore.”

~

Bruce sighs, putting his notes down and taking a sip from his water bottle. “I’m going to fail my finals, and then I’m going to flunk out, and then I’ll be homeless,” he says to the empty room. He misses his mother; or, her money at least. She cut him off after he got a B in advanced trigonometry, and she’s only going to reinstate his allowance if he gets straight As this semester to make up for it.

He picks up his phone, sending a quick text to Tony to ask if he wants to study together. After he hits send there’s a knock at his door; and Bruce is just tired enough to wonder how Tony got here that fast before he comes to his senses. 

He goes to the door after rubbing his face, sighing already. “Listen, I don’t want to- Nat?”

Natasha is standing in his doorway, face full of a mixture of anger and sadness, and she tilts her chin up at Bruce. “Can I come in?”

Bruce nods, letting her in and closing and locking the door behind her. “Is…everything okay?”

Nat stands in the middle of his dorm, looking around with her arms crossed. “It’s smaller than I thought it would be,” she mumbles.

Bruce sighs in annoyance. “Thanks,” he says. “Listen, Nat, not that you insulting my apartment isn’t fun or anything, but I was in the middle of studying for my finals.”

Natasha turns around slowly, her eyes nervous. “Bruce,” she whispers, and Bruce straightens up. “Me and Clint broke up.”

Bruce’s eyebrows raise, and he blinks slowly. “I’m…sorry?” he meant to give her comfort, but it comes off as more of a question.

Nat takes the few steps necessary to close the gap between them, staring up at him with intense eyes. “Kiss me,” she says softly. 

Bruce swallows, and her arms come up to wrap around his neck. “You really want that?” he whispers. “You’re really done with him? You want me?”

Natasha doesn’t answer, just moves her hand up the back of Bruce’s neck and pulls him down so their lips connect. She presses her body into his, and Bruce is stupid, but he falls for it. He puts his hands on her hips and kisses her back, deepening it and pulling her as close to himself as possible. 

He wakes up alone the next day, the sheets still warm. He sits up slowly, checking his phone and sighing when he sees Tony asking when he can come over, and then if he still wanted to study, and then jokingly if he passed out over his textbooks. 

A ding comes in while he’s in the shower later, and he almost doesn’t want to check it. He takes his time drying off and getting dressed, takes his time brushing his teeth and attempting to get his hair to look less messy. He even eats breakfast before he finally gives in and checks his phone. 

Hey Bruce. Can we talk? Is all it says. His stomach sinks, and he agrees before he can think better of it. 

He feels used. He thought he had made it clear he didn’t want to be a distraction; he wanted her to want him. 

But they meet up for coffee, and Natsha is fidgeting nervously, and Bruce knows she isn’t going to say she had a good time last night. She isn’t about to ask for a repeat. “So?” he starts, just wanting to get this over with. 

Nat clears her throat, wrapping her hands around the coffee. “I wanted to-to start by saying that I um…I really enjoyed last night,” she says, unable to look at him.

Bruce hums in agreement, and doesn’t feel like giving her an easy out.

“Okay, I’ll just say it,” Natasha says, letting out a shaky breath. “Clint texted me this morning and asked to talk. He wanted to get back together.”

Bruce looks down at his own coffee, rubbing his thumb along the rim. “And you’re going to?”

Natasha sighs. “Bruce…”

Bruce looks up, not bothering to hide how sad he feels. She looks down guiltily. “You said you were really done with him. You said you really wanted me.”

Natasha winces. “I’m sorry, Bruce.”

Bruce takes a sip from his coffee before sighing and standing up, putting his hands in his pockets. “Bye, Nat.”

“Wait!” She says, looking up with pleading eyes. “Bruce…Please don’t tell him. Please don’t tell him we slept together.”

Bruce grinds his teeth together, nodding once before turning on his heel and leaving. Not like he talks to Clint anyway.

He’s a god damn idiot, because he still loves her, still knows that the next time she and Clint call it off, he’ll say yes. And he’ll hate himself just as much the next time as he does now. 

~

“You are stupid,” Thor says, pushing his phsyics textbook away. They were studying together, and he had finally bitten the bullet and asked Bruce why he was so upset. “How many times did I tell you not to go after her?”

Bruce grinds his teeth together, pushing his own notes away. He really is going to fail all his finals, at this rate. “I thought you were just morally opposed.”

“No, jackass,” Thor says, gently shoving Bruce. “Although I am morally opposed. I warned you off because I knew you were going to get hurt. Believe it or not, you are my best friend and I don’t want you to be upset.”

Tony scoffs, turning the page in engineering his notes. “You don’t have to be a dick about it. She was an asshole for making Bruce think she wanted him. She was never going to stay away from Clint.”

Bruce rubs a hand over his face. “Tones-”

“Exactly. Everyone knew she was going to go back to him. Aren’t you the one who told him that Nat isn’t the type of girl he wants because she’s gonna start an off-again on-again relationship with Clint? Something like that?” Thor shakes his head, grabbing his water bottle. 

“Yeah, but you don’t see me saying I told you so,” Tony snarks back, looking up from his notes. “Rubbing salt in the wound isn’t going to help Bruce.”

“I’m not trying to help,” Thor grumbles, shooting Bruce a look before looking back to Tony. “He was stupid. He should hear it.”

“You’re stupid,” Tony scoffs, looking back to his notes and angrily flipping the page back to the one he was on before. “You went and made friends with her boyfriend, how’s Bruce going to escape this situation now?”

“Don’t act like you don’t like Clint and Nat,” Thor argues, slamming his own textbook closed. He takes a sip from the water bottle before capping it and putting it down. “And I did that to discourage him from trying anything. For the sole reason that if he did fuck around with her, he’d have to live with the consequences in our group.”

“I am right here,” Bruce mumbles, but gets ignored. 

“I like him more than Rogers and Barnes,” Tony admits. “Okay, maybe he hasn’t done anything to piss me off, really…”

“Yeah,” Thor says triumphantly. “He’s funny and he’s a good friend.”

“Better than you,” Tony says, and it pulls a gasp out of Bruce. “It’s his fucking girlfriend and he hasn’t once rubbed it in Bruce’s face that she’s using him.”

“Because Clint doesn’t care,” Thor argues. “Because he, like everyone else, knows she’ll always go back to him. Doesn’t matter how badly he pisses her off. He doesn’t give a shit about Bruce’s feelings about Nat using him.”

“Clint is stupid,” Tony says, shaking his head. “Or he doesn’t have any self respect. I’m not sure which is worse.”

“Thanks,” Bruce says, standing up. “Great conversation, boys, I feel so much better now.”

“Wait-” Tony says, sighing. “I didn’t mean you-”

“Didn’t need to,” Bruce says, walking towards the kitchen and opening the fridge. “Can we just go back to studying, please?”

It’s quiet for a few seconds, and then he hears Thor softly ask, “Do you really think I’m being a bad friend?”

Tony sighs, putting his notes down again. “I think you want him to not get hurt, and that makes you a good friend. I disagree with the way you’re doing it.”

“Well, I disagree with the way you’re doing it,” Thor mumbles back. “Putting all the blame on Nat will make him think he can change her or something.”

“She won’t change,” Tony says, stretching his arms over his head. “Bruce knows that. I told him that before they slept together. She’s too toxic to ever be worth trying to change.”

“You’re toxic,” Thor mumbles, but he’s smiling at Tony.

Tony winks, grinning back. “Hell yeah, I am. But I’m not bringing anyone down with me, now am I? Everyone knows how I am, I don’t try and hide it.”

Thor laughs, and turns to watch Bruce walk back in with three beers. He takes one and opens it, shaking his head. “You think that makes you better than her?”

“Hell yeah,” Tony says, eyes sparkling. “When you all get tired of my bullshit, you can just walk away. I’ll just be that one asshole from college. Nat will be the one who got away, and she’s gonna make it hard for anyone to let her go. Clint obviously can’t.”

Bruce sighs loudly, taking three large gulps before going back to his notes. “Study for your stupid engineering exam, Tones. Thor, did you understand this chapter?” Bruce asks, showing him the textbook. 

Tony rolls his eyes, but he does go back to his notes. “Love you too, Brucie Bear.”

[whysamwhy123]

Ask game! 2, 3, and 25!

2) Do you read/reread your own fics?

I mean...it's not totally lame to admit that, yeah, I do, right?? I've always thought the best way to improve your writing is just to look critically at what you've already done and ask ''OK, what works and what doesn't?'' And I've been trying to be more positive about my writing lately, so yeah, I do like to look back on my previous fics, and even when all I can see are flaws, I try to appreciate 'em at least a little bit, like hell yeah, I did The Thing!

3) What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I'm so bad at picking favourites, especially when it comes to my own writing, so I'll cheat a little here. I'm pretty damn proud of Voice in the Dark as a whole, particularly Part Two, I think it might be the best thing I've ever written, and the fact that they're my two most popular fics makes me feel pretty good about 'em. Having reread it recently, I've become more fond of Half Your Age Plus Seven. My first foray into OrangeHook, and while I'm still very critical of that fic (because HOO BOY, does it ever have Problems! 🙂🙂🙂) I've found my feelings on it have softened and I think there's quite a bit there that works and I'm proud of it overall. And finally, I have to include the little intro to Business/Pleasure, because writing that was just SO. MUCH. FUN. You know better than anyone how many ideas I have for that AU and it was great getting to dive into something so self-indulgent. And I was pleasantly surprised by the positive reception! I still don't know if I'll be able to continue it, but regardless, I'm proud of what I did write, for sure.

25) Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

LOL, no! 🤣 I liiiiive for messy drama, angst, and some real fucked-up Dead Dove shit, so nothing I've written has upset me. I am my own enabler when it comes to that kind of stuff. The DG Dead Dove fic and the messy OrangeHook angst fic I'm working on are both Horrible in their own ways and I love 'em for it

[spaceyflowerswriting]

hyeonsu lee x reader headcanons? thanks

hyeonsu lee x reader headcanons

details: general canon au but if nothing bad ever happened <3, gender neutral reader

a/n: thank u for requesting, i hope this will do!! 💖

×

> i don't think he'd fall in love easily, but there was just something about you that pulled him in; whatever your best charm is, that's most likely it. (and if you don't think you have a charm, well, you do. hyeonsu said so. no, he will not let you deny him)

> arrogant and confident, he would not hesitate to flirt right away. he's not exactly lowkey and if that's your thing, great! if not he'll consider toning down a bit but otherwise he's too stubborn to change his attitude just to please someone

> once y'all start dating, hyeonsu actually does tone down a little because you're his partner now so there's no need to win your heart anymore

> please be prepared for mean humor with him as your boyfriend. he means it in good heart and you can 100% banter with him back, he encourages it even

> surprisingly kind of chill dating him. of course, he still loves exciting adventures and causing havoc, but 60% of the time he keeps to himself unless it looks like someone's picking a fight (meaning, they don't intend to but it seems like it to hyeonsu)

> so uh... yeah. he's got a temper. please put him on a (metaphorical) leash sometimes

> dates with him are long, usually because they aren't in one place; you guys are always on the move. that is, unless it's a movie theater date or you guys decided to just hang out at home (like, your house or something i guess ?)

> hyeonsu knows how relationships work--he doesn't intend to just have you as a trophy lover or someone to keep him check; he wants you to be happy and comfortable with him, to see him as someone to depend on 'cause that's what boyfriends do, right? (he's actually a little inexperienced but like hell he'll let you know)

> he's very aggressively supportive of you ^_^ while he understands if you can't feel good about yourself everyday, he's making damn sure to be there to reassure you on your not-so-good days !!

> this.

> i.e. he loves showing you off and bragging about you whenever he can <3

> if you need to shittalk/rant, he will listen. he loves shittalking so much its unbelievable. even if he's clueless about what you're talking about, he's hyping you up like "right?! what a fucking asshole!"

> just... be a little careful when shittalking with him because if it involves someone mistreating you, hyeonsu's planning a murder in his mind, or at least to teach a Very good lesson to the person who dared to piss off/hurt his beloved

> he's awkward if you need to vent because he's uhm. not good at comforting or giving advice but he'll still listen, of course, and do what he can !!

> slightly territorial over you; "i don't trust the people around you" kind of situation. he's perfectly confident you like him too much to cheat

> still gets jealous easily anyway. it's why he always wants to hold your hand or have an arm around your waist/shoulders in public! does get way more touchy in private though. in all honestly he doesn't care about pda, but he at least wants to respect your feelings on it (unless you also don't mind)

> his ego gets so inflated if you call him anything along the lines of "my man/boyfriend"

> generally a big show off just so you can compliment him <3 boyfriend that goes, "this one's for you, babe," when he tosses a basketball into a hoop and he actually doesn't miss <3

> all in all, a loud and messy but well intentioned lover. there's never a dull moment with him! 💖

[awakeshedreams]

sugar and spice ( 3 )

pairing : resident bad boy!jjk x model student!reader

setting : highschool!au x stepbrother!au

summary :

a messy highschool!au x stepbrother!au where model student reader who has quite a few dirty little secrets sees her world take an unexpected turn when her mother comes home one day with an engagement announcement, to the father of none other than the school’s resident bad boy…. Jeon Jungkook.

genre : smut, for laughs, kinda pornish, slow burn with collosaly overwhelming sexual tension

rating: soft m ( for now ) due to adult content

warnings : unconventional relationship of sexual nature, tropes and clichès, teenagers partaking in porn-esque activities, made up things with made up people happening in a made up world, don’t like don’t read XD

wordcount : 2.3K

a/n: .... did anyone else see jk on vlive? yeah? you are speaking to my ghost.

1 2 3

In hindsight, Jeon Jungkook was not a bad person.

Sure, it took some time for you to figure this out and it was a little embarrassing to admit since you’d been so sure he was no good- but hey. Better late than never right?

Despite the flurry of attention his mere existence garnered, Jungkook wasn’t really a people’s person.

He liked spending time on his own, lost in own little world filled where he indulged in music and art and the nuance of complex literature and that was completely okay.

You learned a lot about him from spending some time pouring over book upon book with him whenever he came around.

To start, you two actually managed to get some studying done. At this point, you’d become a tutor of his of sorts.

Of the many things you discovered, the ones that stuck with you the most was that Jungkook was a very fast learner and that looks could indeed be very deceiving. 

He might dress like a delinquent, but he was far from being one. No-one would believed you if you told them but- Jeon Jungkook was a born genius.

Concepts just stuck with him like glue and he simply understood even the most complex of things easily. Sometimes you found yourself entranced watching him explain how he’d solved an equation.

It got to the point where you would just take to asking him things you knew he knew so you could hear how he rambled a little while casually presenting his ideas, pointing here and there on the spread of questions and sometimes tapping lightly for emphasis to show you what he meant, his gaze shifting to you from beneath his fringe for your little nod of approval.

Maybe you should’ve known earlier. This was the guy who always miraculously came first in his year.

Though, to your defense, you had received many reports from unhappy students saying he cheats.

Though knowing him as you did now, you were certain of two things.

Jungkook actually didn’t care enough about school to go such lengths. If he aced the test it was purely because he felt bored enough to pick up the pen and write something instead of doodling on the paper.

Also, he didn’t give a damn about things like being a star achiever or an outstanding student or even appealing to the rest of the school with a studious, acceptable image. Evidently, he did as he pleased, dressed as he pleased and he was comfortable that way.

He was different from you. So different.

But you clicked surprisingly well.

Between the banter and the random talks in between study sessions here and there, you could say that no-one in the world has ever made you laugh your ass off the way Jungkook did.

It would be something clumsy he did. Or something silly he said. Completely unaware of it mostly, but sometimes just to bug you or tease you.

He was also just a massive meme-bank and you loved memes.

This was, of course, not something any one at school you knew about you.

There you were the the nice girl who was a good leader, with a good head on her shoulder and a good family name to back up.

You weren’t supposed to be relatable. You were supposed to be different from the rest. The best of the best. Excellent in everything you did.

Unattainable. Unreachable. Untouchable.

Meanwhile he was living a life where he didn’t have to worry about messing up or spending every waking hour of his life trying to keep a reputation you weren’t even sure you had built yourself.

Maybe it was weird, that you didn’t you didn’t resent him for it. For his freedom. How he could just be him out in the open freely even with all the eyes on him. In fact, you admired him.

His presence was a bit like a soothing balm to you. Something fresh and new and fun, very unlike the people you kept around you at school.

Sometimes, you even wondered what it would be like if you were close friends.

But it was only a fleeting thought. One you quickly dismissed before it went out of control.

Because that was impossible.

Your parents were engaged. You were about to be step siblings.

Plus, in any other circumstance it wouldn't make any sense for you two to be hanging out in the first place.

 At school, you still acted like strangers.

Though now it was admittedly a little bit harder because everyone knew about your parents from their parents who’d received invitations.

Suddenly, the unapproachable bad boy became approachable. At least to a certain degree.

‘Give him this.' or 'Tell him that.'

You were starting to hear words like these every day from friends and strangers alike. 

Jungkook already had many not-so-secret admirers and now that you were practically his step sister, you suddenly became the middle man.

It irked you to hell's end and back but you were the good girl.

You couldn’t yell at them to do it themselves or to leave you alone.

Good girls were nice girls.

So you took the gifts and requests with a big smile that dropped as soon as they left along with her hands to your sides.

Whenever they reached him, the gifts were always a little crushed.

Jungkook was sitting in the living room in a grey and green flannel over a grey shirt and some loose jeans when you slid the small dented green box over the coffee table to him.

He picked it up from the desk, twirling it in his hands.

‘What's this?'

'Another gift. Cake maybe, I don’t know.’ The way you were setting your books down on the table had the contents on it shaking. ‘Mei from track. She likes you.'

He dragged his eyes away from you to stare at the wrapped box silently for a while then he nodded.

'I see.' His attention flickered to you again and he set the gift aside. ‘You good?’

'Of course.’

You slammed another book onto the table.

He raised a brow.

‘Really?’

You turned to look at him. He met your gaze levelly, so watchful that you wondered if he had indeed caught you bull-shitting.

Except you weren’t bull-shitting.

Your truly, honestly, really, absolutely were good.

Why else wouldn’t you be?

‘Yes.’ You nodded with a smile that felt too tight to the point of hurting on your face. ‘Let’s get to studying, shall we?'

.

The next time you agreed to meet up at yours finds you pacing back and forth like some worried housewife waiting for a husband she suspects to be unfaithful to come home.

It was 8pm.

Jungkook should've been there at 4 in the evening.

You rush to the door the moment you hear the bell and practically wrench it open.

Jungkook is standing on the other side, in a grey baggy shirt under a black bomber jacket, some dark blue jeans with his bag slung on his shoulder and a silver chain hanging at his neck.

‘Hey,' He greeted, taking you in with a slight uplift in the corner of his lips. ‘You look like you ran a marathon.’

You straightened to hastily tuck a strand of hair behind your ear in an attempt to make it look less messy and leveled him with the most serious look you could while you heaved a little.

‘You’re late.’

‘Sorry, I got caught up in something.’ He said, scratching the back of his neck, ruffling the wavy ends of his hair that touched his nape. ‘Did I keep you waiting long?’

He smelt  like smoke when he walked in past you. It was faint, mingling with the scent of his cologne, mint and something clean like soap or fabric freshener. Tolerable. At least he didn’t smell like some girl.

‘No.’ You said, after swallowing to moisten your throat as you followed him into the kitchen. 'I wasn’t waiting for you.’

But the ice in the drinks you’d prepared ages ago was long melted, the content in the glass overflowing on the counter.

You spilled the drinks down the drain and prepared fresh glasses as he wordlessly took his jacket off before he grabbed the cloth from where it was hanging over the sink to clean the telling mess.

If he had anything smart to say about your slip up, he spared you the embarrassment and kept it to himself.

‘Let’s finish this quick.’ You said once you got settled on your stools at the counter across each other. ‘Before ten preferably.’

Jungkook was quiet for a while as you opened the textbook to where they had last stopped, mumbling a little under you breath as you mentally went over what you had covered the last session…

‘You have an appointment at ten?’

You blinked and looked up at him. He'd shed his jacket, leaving him in the long sleeved white shirt. He was flipping through the textbook idly. Unruffled. Like he didn’t just speak to you.

‘Something like that.’

You settled on, quickly ducking your head and redirecting your attention to the pages in front of you.

It wasn't something you focused on but the time he walked in on you was nothing short of fresh in your mind.

For the most part you just pushed it to the back of your mind but every time you remembered you flushed hotly, like right now.

Did he forget already?

You wished you had an easy, simple take on life and all its unexpected turns like his. Then maybe your life would’ve turned out very differently.

Maybe you would’ve been able to decide who you wanted to be at school and maybe you would’ve been able to be level headed and mature about what had happened.

.

You continued in silence.

Jungkook was solving a string of equations you had sprung on him and you were reviewing the ones he’d done earlier.

But it was louder than even then in even the most chaotic situation you have seen in.

For some reason, today particularly, he seemed to focused on you instead of his work.

No wonder he was slow. It took him seconds to solve one question but you’d been through only ten in the past half an hour.

Sighing, you lifted your gaze from checking his work to level him with a pointed glare.

Your gaze locked. He was already looking at you.

'What?’ You almost barked. ‘Do I have something on my face.'

'Other than a perpetual scowl?’ Jungkook shrugged, fringe swaying a little as he proceeded to shake his head lightly. 'No, not really.'

Your brows drew in at the center instinctively at the accusation.

'I’m not scowling.'

He simply stared at you. Unimpressed.

You weren’t really helping your case with your face all screwed up.

Your fingers quickly rubbed at the frown in the middle of your brows vigorously and you tapped his book hastily with your free hand to digress.

'Now focus, will you.’ You bit out, glancing at the watch at you wrist. Twenty minutes to ten. ‘Time’s almost up.'

‘Ah.’ He said, nodding. His tone was curt. ‘Your appointment.’

You sent him a hard look.

‘Yes. My appointment.’

He laughed it off like there was some joke you weren’t privy to but otherwise said nothing else as he went back to solving equations.

You stared at the top of his head the entire time.

What was his deal?

.

You were on a short snack break when he brought it up.

'I could stay the night.'

You stopped munching on your carrot for a moment and quickly dragged your gaze away from the fridge you were standing in front of to stare at him.

‘Your mom mentioned a spare room.’ He said, leaning back against the sink where he was stood. He shrugged at your look, gazing over the study material laid out at the island in between you two. ‘It’s just there’s a lot left for us to do and I don’t think I’ll be free this time tomorrow.’

‘What are you suggesting?’

You dared to ask.

'We can have a go at it all night if that's something you want. Here over the counter or at couches in the living room. Maybe even by the pool. I don't mind.’ He elaborated casually. ‘In the morning we could do a little recap of all the things we did at night too.'

You knew what he was talking about.

Studying of course.

But out of context… and you didn’t even know why you took it out of context to begin with… your cheeks felt impossibly hot and your grip on the fridge handle got clammy as it tightened.

Distantly, you registered your heart beat picking up.

'No need for that.’ You waved it off with your carrot, practically slamming the fridge shut.

On shaky feet you sat back at the stool and opened the book you were working with. You feigned concentration while looking through the pages because he was looking at you closely again. Watchful of your every move. Head tilted just so.

You felt like a mouse driven into a corner by a sly, domineering cat.

‘It’s just a couple pages.’ You mumbled hurriedly, eyes fixed on the pages ahead of you. ‘We can finish it now if we’re quick.'

'Sure.' You heard him say after a while. Then he was sitting across you, reaching for his pen and notebook. ‘It was page 49 by the way.’

‘Huh?’

He took the book and opened the page he mentioned.

‘You passed it while flipping.’

This time you flushed out of embarrassment.

'Oh,' You muttered quietly, taking the book as he slid it you. 'Sorry, I was a bit out of it.’

‘No problem,' he said, and you thought you were imagining it until you looked up and found him smirking, a lopsided tilt to his lips as he nodded slowly and expertly twirled his pen in between his fingers, just oozing smugness. ‘I completely understand where you’re coming from. I do that to people sometimes.’

He had the gall to flash you a wink before he got back to his work, humming pleasantly in a way you had to admit, at least mentally, was melodic.

Wow. You could only huff.

What a wonderful piece of work.

And you called him mature?

Shaking your head, you rolled your eyes and held the book up to hide your face.

You didn't want to know what kind of cocky phrase he would pull up if he saw how red your face was.

sorry I was gone for ages. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere at my aunt's with no service and when I got home the first thing i see is jk dancing and singing in his studio in a see through pyjama two set infront of a billion people 🥴 if I write out that camboy!jk that's been on mind now you know who to blame 🤕

anyways, ignoring my dysfunctionalities, how was this chapter ? hoped you like it. the next one is where shit starts to go down so please anticipate and show support if you want to see more of this 😉🥴💜🥺

[beigehearts]

Yandere adult trio: college AU These are drabbles for when they lose their mind and kill the people around you... and kidnaps you

These are going to be a little longer than usual but I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I did when writing it (also im trying out the beta version of the new posting system so lemme know if anything is weird)

Sorry this took me forever bro

CW: murder, blood, physical abuse, alcohol

Hisoka

It's getting quite annoying to be completely honest. He just won't leave you alone, constantly flirting and making passes at you. And yet at the same time he makes fun of you and is actually very mean. It wasn't so bad in the beginning but this is just getting out of hand. You made sure he was aware of this. ---- He's looming over you as he corners you against the wall. You refuse to look up at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

While you aren't looking at him, you can feel him looking at you. You already know he has that annoying grin on his face that makes you want to punch him square in the nose.

He brushes his long fingers against your face, making a quiet humming noise. "Are you ready to give up my pet?"

You ignore his words and slap his hand away from your face. "I need to get to class, move Hisoka."

He frowns though you aren't looking at his face. He opens his mouth to say something when someone from behind him calls out to you. "Hey y/n! Are you okay?"

She walks towards you but before she can get involved you shove the man away and huff. What a nuisance. You turn towards him once you're standing next to your friend and glare at him.

"Leave me alone. It's annoying and it's scaring people. Got it?" Before he can respond you turn on your heels and drag your friend down the hall by her wrist just hoping to put distance between the two of you. ---- You're pretty sure you made it clear that you don't want him near you anymore. But by now you know he doesn't give up so easily. One can only hope that he gets bored of you and finds someone else to bother.

You and your friends went out for brunch earlier, and all was well until Chelsea handed you something. She said that she found it in her bag but it was addressed to you, so you put it in your own bag.

You pour yourself a rum and coke and make yourself comfortable on the couch of your shared apartment. All of your roommates went out for drinks but you were too tired to go out.

After taking a sip of the sweet liquid in your glass, you examine the letter you were given earlier. It's a typical white envelope with your name written in pen. There's no address on it or return address so you assume it was just supposed to be handed to you.

You rip open the letter with your finger and pull out the singular loose leaf paper. It's folded in three sections so you pull it open. The handwriting is messy but in an aesthetic sort of way.

Dear y/n, I strongly suggest that you go to class 406B in the technical building tonight. Don't be late or you'll miss the whole party. 10:45 pm - see you then. I almost forgot, if you don't come I have some revealing pictures of you that I can share with anyone I wish to. XOXO

This is the strangest letter you've ever received. It's probably a prank by one of your roommates or friends. You've never sent nudes to anyone so obviously they're bluffing.

Though perhaps you should entertain your friends and go. Who knows, maybe there will be drinks. But you are tired... Maybe you'll just go to bed. You peek over to the time on your phone, it's 9:12 pm. Yeah, you'll just go to bed after you finish your drink.

'bzz' 'bzzz'

Who is texting you so late at night? You sit up and realize you fell asleep on the couch. You wipe the drool off of your face and grab your phone with distain for whoever woke you up.

It's a blocked number.

ur late

Late? Late for what? Your phone displays the time, 11:27 pm. Are your friends really this committed to their prank? They must be trying to get Tik Tok famous or some shit. Well you're awake now, you might as well head over there.

----

The moment you step into the building something seems off. If all of the lights including the emergency lights wasn't enough, the ground seems sticky. Though you can't bring yourself to use your phone flash light to see what it is.

Eventually you find the room 406B in the darkness. The door is closed and no lights are on in the room. It seems as if no one is inside. As you reach for the handle of the door, you notice something on the window of the door. You can barely make it out, but there's what looks like a hand print. You chuckle, this must be a prank.

Now feeling a little better, you open the door and step inside. It's too dark to see anything but you can make out some figures in the dark. It must be your friends thinking they're being sneaky.

You roll your eyes and look for the light switch, finding it and switching it on. You squint at the sudden light, and your eyes begin to focus. Which you wish they never did.

There is blood everywhere, on the ceiling, the windows, the floor, the tables... But that's not the most jarring part. Your friends are sitting in chairs, one of them sitting on the ground against the wall.

There is your friend Chelsea, sitting in a chair with her head tipped down. You can't even tell what color her clothes originally were, they're covered in red, a dark dark red. Next to her is Derick, he's sitting the same way except his head is tipped backwards. His eyes are wide and his face is left in permanent horror- expressing the brutality of his end. You can't bare to look anymore, you drop to your knees and cover your face with your hands.

You scream and scream until your voice is hoarse and throat is raw. You're left coughing while you are drowned by your own tears.

"Are you ready to give up yet?" A deep voice asks from in front of you.

You can't stop the flow of tears as you look up at this monster. He's also covered in blood, and some is splattered on his face. He wipes a thumb across his face in the blood, and brings it to his lips. Sobs rack your body, you can't even make sense of this.

Hisoka squats down so you're face to face and grips your jaw bone tightly in his hand. You can feel the now cold substance being rubbed against your jaw by his fingers and it makes you want to puke.

"I got tired of waiting for you." His grin is nauseating, forcing you to stop yourself from puking.

His nails dig into your skin, mixing your own blood with that of your friend's. He brings his face close to yours and in a gentle but menacing tone he croaks, "Let's stop this childish game, alright y/n?"

Illumi

It's easy to miss things when you're caught up with the rush of classes and friends and love. All of the parties and hangovers are enough to satisfy your needs for entertainment and drama in this boring life. If you didn't fill up your daily life with these acts, you would probably sleep every day away until you fell into a coma.

To put it short, you're a busy body. And busy bodies don't have time to stop and look around at what is happening. For example, how were you to notice the key under your doormat was missing, or how your dresser drawers were left slightly open when you know you closed them before leaving. Noticing these small things are definitely not on your agenda.

It's 10 am, Saturday, and you don't have any classes or work today. You're sitting at the kitchen bar, drinking coffee and chatting with your roommate. It isn't often that you have a free day, and sometimes it is nice to have even if you want to get moving. The sun is peeking through the curtains and the aroma of espresso beans is a delight. It's a bit chilly so you have a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. What a peaceful morn-

'BANG BANG'

Your roommate eyes you when someone bangs on the front door, already knowing the events that are about to take place. She rolls her eyes and stomps up the stairs to her room, not wanting to get involved. You always feel bad that your roommates have to listen to this but you're really not sure how to end it.

You take your last peaceful sip of coffee and call out, "Come in!"

Before you can even finish your sentence, he storms inside and slams the door behind him. Your boyfriend of course is mad about something you've done. He trudges towards you and moves the stool next to you out of the way, and leans towards you so his face is next to yours.

"Are you kidding me y/n?!" He yells in your ear, but you don't flinch because you're used to this.

He rips his phone from his pocket and shoves it in your face after pulling up a screenshot. It's a conversation between you and his friend.

"Can't you learn to shut your damn mouth? This is our business and you have no right to tell anyone about it!" He's practically seething with rage.

You take a last sip of coffee and set your mug down on the counter. You continue facing forward and not facing him. "It's not our business, it's yours. And I asked him if it was true that you were cheating on me." You turn your head towards him while grimacing and mutter, "Again."

Ah but you've just lighted a bomb with your words.

His face has gone red and he looks like he's about to explode. You begin wondering why you were ever attracted to him.

"Maybe if you weren't such a prude! I can't even kiss my girlfriend whenever I want, it's ridiculous. You know full well that you're so... so... Ugh! You know what? Fuck you!"

As quickly as he came, he runs out of the house, slamming the door once again.

You whisper to yourself, "Fuck you too."

God he's such a child, you don't even want to be with him anymore. But every time you decide to break up with him he suddenly becomes Mr.Perfect. "I'm so sorry." "I love you." "Let me make it up to you." And then he does make it up to you only to tear down all of his hard work.

----

It's been a few days since your big fight with your boyfriend. He hasn't talked to you at all but this isn't uncommon for him. You promised your roommates that you would break up with him, not just for yourself but for the sake of their peace and quiet.

You texted him a few times while you were at work but he left you on read. He's so petty. So you text him one last time.

Come 2 my place at 8 tonight, We need to talk

He answers immediately which surprises you.

Can't, flat tire Come to my place

It doesn't make a difference to you where it is so that's fine. You wonder if maybe he's come to terms with the fact this needs to end. Hopefully so. If there's one thing you want him to be mature about, it's this.

Your shift ends at 6:30pm. You drive home, shower, get dressed, eat something and get ready to leave.

You send one last text,

OMW

It's read immediately but there's no response. Well, it's not like you expected much from him anyway. You drive to his house at 7:45 pm, and arrive around 7:58 pm. All of the lights in his town house are on. He's a few years older than you so he has his own house due to somehow being able to hold down a job. With his anger issues it's hard to believe that he can hold onto anything. Damn, he really is an unattractive person isn't he?

You step out of your car and lock it. Now that you're out of the car you realize that it's very quiet. This is unusual for when you go to his house, normally you can hear music or the sound affects of a shitty video game. But it's silent. Maybe he's waiting for you? He must be taking this well.

You step up the creaky stairs of the house, and knock on the equally as creaky door. No response. Maybe he's sleeping? You peek into the mail box and take out the extra key for the house from it. But when you go to unlock the door, it's already unlocked. This is becoming very strange.

You push open the door and peer into the dark living room. It's not too dark that you can't make out the furniture in the darkness. You step inside and shut the door behind you, it's still quiet. Not quiet, absolutely and undeniably silent. You flick the light on and look around again, nothing seems out of place. It's messy, with empty beer cans and bottles on the ground per usual. The stains on his carpet remain untouched, including the vomit stain in the corner.

"Jay?" You call out into the still atmosphere. Nothing. Is he not home? That can't be, his car is in the driveway.

The sound of his old floor boards being stepped on echoes through the house. What the hell is he trying to pull? You look up the stairs, but it's only darker up there than it was down here. He must be drunk.

Each step you take up the stairs, your heart begins to pound faster. Something feels off, this doesn't feel right. This isn't like your boyfriend, he's simple, he wouldn't try scaring you like this. On the top step, you feel your shoe touch something soft. You lean down and pick it up, and raise it up to your face. A pair of thongs that definitely aren't yours. So that's what's happening. He couldn't even pull himself together for one night.

Your pounding heart is no longer caused by fear but anger. He's cheated too many times to count on your hands, but this time makes you angrier than you've ever been. He's never been in bed with another woman knowing that you were coming over. This is fucking ridiculous.

You stomp towards his room and kick the door open. It's dark but you can tell that there are two people in bed. Your vision has gone red, you've never been this angry in your life.

You don't bother turning the lights on, you storm over to his side of the bed and rip the covers off. Just barely you can make out a woman sleeping next to him. You grab his shoulder tightly and shake him violently to wake him up.

"Get the fuck up Jay! Get! Up!" He doesn't respond, you lean down and yell in his ear like he always does to you. "You're such a childish piece of shit!"

He still doesn't move or speak, for fuck's sake. You stomp back to the entrance of the room and flick on the light. You turn around and begin walking back towards the bed, when you're stopped in your tracks.

Everything is red, but it's not your vision anymore. The bed has been dyed red, and his naked body is covered in it. Your mouths falls open but no screams come out. The woman next to him is splayed out on the bed, naked as well. Covered in red. You look down at the hands that touched your boyfriend, they're also red.

You rush over to the bed and shake your boyfriend again.

"Jay? Jay! Can you hear me?" You put your ear to his chest but you don't hear anything. You put your finger under his nose but don't feel anything.

"Hey! Hey! Wake up! This isn't funny!" Tears stream down your face as you pull him to your chest, cradling him.

Your sobs make it hard to speak and your chest begins to hurt. "J-... Jay... This- isn't-" You gasp between each word, "Funny..."

It's only when you hear a noise coming from behind you that you stop to think about what's going on. It doesn't matter to you though, they could kill you too if they wished.

"People are strange." You turn your head to see where the voice is coming from.

It's someone you don't recognize, he's tall, pale, has long hair, and hypnotizing eyes. Your sobs cease for a moment and you hug your boyfriend tighter to you.

"All of that fighting... You were even coming here to break up with him and yet... You're sad that he's gone?" He makes his way towards you slowly, "I've done you a favor, haven't I?"

He looms over you but all you can do is stand there, frozen by fear.

The man grabs the back of your shirt and pulls you violently from Jay. You try to run back to him, but the man pulls you to him, hugging you tightly. No matter how much you flail in his grasp you can't get away from him. You're left sobbing into his shirt, your body limp in his arms.

"Why?" You manage to whisper.

He holds you to him with one arm and pets your hair with his other hand. "You were miserable. He was making you miserable."

He sighs and kisses the top of your head. What is going on?

"Come on, don't waste your energy on human garbage. I'm here, so it's fine." He states it so 'matter of fact'.

"Who?" Is all you can ask, unable to finish your question.

"I guess I haven't introduced myself yet. Illumi is my name." With ease, he grabs you by your shoulders and lifts your face up to his. "Your future husband."

Chrollo

What more could you ask for? You already have easy college classes, fun parties, a good part time job, great friends, and an amazing best friend. Tonight you're going to hang out with a bunch of friends and have drinks at one of their apartments. It's a pretty normal Thursday night, nothing odd about it.

You're waiting for your best friend to pick you up, he's always there to pick you up on the dot. If he doesn't come early that is. You shove all the essentials into your bag and hear a honk outside. Must be him.

But of course you're always tardy. You lace up your shoes and run out of the dorm room, tripping out of the building. He's watching as you stumble towards the car since one of your shoes is already unlaced. When you finally flop down in the passenger seat he shakes his head with a knowing smile.

"Oh y/n, will you ever be organized?" He asks with amusement.

You click your tongue and straighten out your clothes, "Don't ask such stupid questions."

He turns his body towards you as much as possible and pats his lap. You instinctively know what that means. You hike your foot up above the console and put your foot on his lap. He begins tying your shoe, his smile is unmoving. He's always smiling.

"Chrollo, you don't need to baby me." You roll your eyes and groan.

He laughs and pats your leg, signaling that he's done. "If not me then who?"

You swing your leg back over to your side and buckle up. The two of you hang out a lot. Since you're both going to the hangout tonight, you decided to car pool. But first you're going to go get the alcohol. Everyone has to bring something for everyone, that way you guys can get wasted with no qualms.

You plug your phone into the aux and play your shared playlist. The first song that comes on is "The Cult of Dionysus" by The Orion Experience. Something that he added.

Finally you feel like you can relax, it always feels that way around Chrollo. His presence is just, comforting, in every way. You feel like you can do anything, say anything, ask for anything. He's always there for you with no exceptions and honestly you think you may have feelings for him. But it's a question of are you confusing comfort and friendly affection for romanticism. It's just that he's so perfect, he doesn't have a single flaw. Not one that you've ever seen at least. You probably never will see one of his flaws.

You sink into the seat and sigh.

He looks at you out of the corner of his eye, but quickly looks back at the road. "What's the matter?"

"Oh nothing... Just, everything is good."

He knows you better than anyone, so it's an obvious lie when you say this. "But what?"

Anytime he calls you out, you surrender and tell him everything. "Everything is so great you know." He nods with your statement. "I go to a good school, have good friends, have a good job." This has been on your mind for quite some time.

"Something is missing, you know? The excitement, the... the..." You chuckle and turn towards him and put up jazz hands, "The pizzazz!"

He doesn't turn to look at you but you know he saw you when his smile widens. "I get that. Maybe you just need to step outside of your comfort zone. Do something different."

Do something different? Yeah, maybe that is what you need.

----

All eleven of you are sitting in a circle on the ground, drinking and playing never have I ever. You take a long drink of your Mike's hard lemonade, which is just something to get the night going.

Dina wipes hair from her face and smiles, "Okay okay my turn. So never have I ever.... Uhh." She pops up when she thinks of something, "Never have I ever jumped out of a window."

DJ leans forward and raises an eyebrow, "Okay what kind of window we talking? High up? First floor?"

Dina answers, "Any kind, any kind of window." The majority of you put a finger down which makes the group burst out in laughter.

Your friend Zoey finishes off her bottle and slams it down on the floor. "Let's play something else."

"Like what?" One of your friends ask.

Zoey thinks for a moment, "Like... Truth or dare, spin the bottle. Or maybe eleven minutes in heaven."

Dj interjects, "I think it's seven minutes in heaven, not eleven."

"Oh whatever DJ, they rhyme." Zoey spits back.

Lex answers, "Let's play seven minutes in heaven!"

Of course DJ huffs and rolls his eyes, "What are we? Middle schoolers?"

Guac (which is his nickname) speaks up, "Oh come on, are you shy DJ?"

Finally the quiet Chrollo sitting next to you says something, "I'm not really interested. Right y/n?" He looks at you to back him up.

The group coos at the two of you and someone says, "We get it, you got something going on. The game is just for fun, don't be so serious Chrollo."

Chrollo opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off, "Hey, you told me to do something different. Maybe this is the first step."

His face shows betrayal and you feel a squeeze in your heart.

He stands up and glares at the group, "Whatever." He storms out of the apartment, and everyone mumbles to each other. Chrollo has never acted like this so this is quite a shock to everyone.

In order not to kill the mood you speak up, "Alright, let's pull names out of a hat!"

All of you write down your names on a small piece of paper and put it in a baseball cap. Dina pulls two names out of the hat and of course makes it a dramatic event.

"Alright so first we have the most lovely of people..." She looks at the group like a teacher waiting for an answer from her class. "Gracie!" Everyone claps and she stands up in front of all of you, taking a bow.

Dina pats her thighs rapidly, "Drum roll please!" Everyone obeys her, "The next hot piece of ass is y/n!"

You stand up and curtsey, taking Gracie's hand and leading her to the closet. Dina stands in front of the closet once both of you are inside and grins, "Timer starts now kids." She shuts the door on you two and all of your friends cheer from outside.

Here comes the awkward part. It's too dark to see her expression but you already know she's blushing.

You lean towards her and in a low voice so no one else can hear say, "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

She shakes her head, and you brush a hand through her dark coils. The both of you giggle when your finger gets stuck in her hair. She leans in for a kiss, but before your lips meet you're interrupted.

The front door is opened and slammed shut, you hear the lock click as well.

"Hey Chrollo, you feeling better?" "What are you doing?" "Holy shit, please, what are you doing?!" "Are you fucking crazy? This isn't funny!"

Something slams against the closet door and Gracie yelps.

"Whoa whoa, we can work something out." They sound desperate "Back up!" You hear a loud thump and then screams. "Grab him guys!" It sounds like people are running around, but soon the screams become not those of only fear but of pain. There are gargled pleas and pathetic whimpers for mercy.

You and Gracie hold each other, gripping onto one another for dear life.

Soon the screams, pleas, thuds, gurgling, all of it ends. The apartment goes quiet and you try to silence your heavy breathing.

There's a loud thud right in front of the closet and then the doors are opened abruptly. There Chrollo is, covered in blood, and you can see the bodies of your friends behind him. Before you can react, he pulls Gracie away from you, slams the doors closed and there's another thud.

Gracie's screams are blood curdling, screeches and cries for help. You try to open the doors but something is blocking it, keeping them closed. As her screams get louder you throw yourself against the doors, trying to push whatever is there out of the way.

Before you can even imagine of getting out, the screams fade out into whimpers, and into nothing.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

You're given no time to think when the doors fly open and you're face to face with Chrollo. He's blocking out the light and his usually neat clothes are crumpled and bloody. You look down to his hands, a sledge hammer hangs from his fingers, dripping with your friend's blood.

"Ch-Chrollo... Please don't." You whisper.

The sledge hammer drops to the ground and he wraps his arms around you gently. "Oh y/n. I would never hurt you."

He's so gentle with you, so gentle. It almost makes you forget what just happened, because he feels like home. "Why? Why did you do this?"

He steps back and grabs your shoulders, he leans down so he's eye to eye with you. "They crossed a line, a line that should not be crossed."

You begin to speak but he grabs your cheeks with one hand and dawns his usual smile, "You don't need them. You have me." He kisses your squished lips as if it were normal. "Right y/n?"

Slowly you nod, you don't need them. If Chrollo says it, it must be true.

"Good girl."

[sugar-petals]

hey angel (m)

♡  sub!felix + reader 

↳ The JYP Halloween party is ditched on short notice. That means: You have a down-to-celebrate boyfriend in full angel costume on your hands.

words. 5k 

tags. domestic au, finger sucking, hickeys, latex, corruption kink, fingering, vaginal sex, footjob, harnesses, cunnilingus, kitten antics, edging, aftercare 

★⎡CARO’S NOTE⎦› here goes the cutie on duty 👼

genre. domestic + smut/crack

„So sorry mate,“ Bang Chan’s voice resounds through the speaker. „I thought it could work but… We can’t celebrate tonight. Really sorry, Felix. Changbin and I already got dressed up too, but, you know things got shut down. JYP won’t let us with the Corona rules and stuff.“

„Oh no…“

„Yeah, man. Looks like we’ll have to do it next year.“

„You even prepared the food already, right?“

„We’re handing it out to staff and eat it at home. I know, it sucks. I spent half the morning in the kitchen. I can like keep the pumpkin cookies so you can eat them tomorrow after practice or so.“

„I feel so sorry Chan… and thank you.“

„I’ll be calling Hyunjin and Han now as well. Really sorry we’re cancelling short notice. I hope you’re still having a nice evening bro. Maybe we can make it happen for Christmas.“

„Okay. Cheers mate.“

„Yeah, cheers.“

Felix puts his phone down looking more than deflated in his angel costume, puffs out a big sigh. You can tell he really looked forward to this. Just an hour before, you bothered to sew the wings in place rather than rely on the wobbly back-pack like construction that came with it. 

They’re firmly attached to his white top now, and all for nothing. He glued them together by himself with a pack of synthetic feathers ordered on Etsy for a ridiculous shipping cost, along with a little halo that he clipped into his hair. Which, because maybe it really does sense his mood, dangles low and even a bit lopsided over his head.

„It’s the party of the year,“ Felix flops down on the living room couch. “I can’t believe this.“

You sit down opposite to him, starting to clean off the table where masses of cosmetic products and leftover feathers have piles up.

„Next time, Lixie. We can keep the costume. Poor Chan, he organized the living shit out of everything.“

„I’ll just go and shower, get this off, and stuff,“ he points at his face. Felix applied his own makeup with a little help from you here and there, including some golden sparkles. Just yesterday, he bleached his hair. It’s sculpted down to every strand with hair spray now. Felix unties his sneakers with the little gold stars on. Just before he starts plucking off his halo, you get an idea, pick up your phone from the table.

„Wait— Let’s at least make some pictures with your phone, you put so much effort in this. You look so cute. The fans might want to see it as well.“

„Oh! You’re right,“ Felix stops right in his tracks. „For Instagram.“

After tightening his sneakers again and you making sure the halo sights right, Felix walks around your flat in search for a nice backdrop. You follow, quickly flipping through some filters to try, and adjusting the flash on the camera.

After posing at the fridge — strange idea — and in the bathroom turns out a little awkward as well, you decide that such an elaborate costume needs a themed background, and only the bedroom offers just that. You recently changed the duvet to sky blue sheets with clouds on them. The overall interior is mostly clean white as well, with some thrifted vintage furniture. Fairy lights, heavy curtains, a wooden ceiling. Perfect.

„We’ll caption it as… post your own stay-at-home costume, something like that,“ Felix plops down on the bed, acting as if he just took a seat on the cloud in the very middle.

„Sounds pretty good,“ you press release, and the first picture pops up on your screen. „Can you turn a little towards the light? That the sparkles are showing.“

„Yay, I love the sparkles!“

„Just like this, just like this. Don’t move. The sparkles!“

A five-picture series of more snapshots ensues, with you adjusting Felix’s face a few times by hand, even, turning his chin by sheer millimeters to find the perfect angle. He’s stunning.

„I have another idea.“

„Oh?“

„I remember what I wore for Halloween three years ago. The costume must be somewhere. I think it fits together with yours.“

„What, oh wow?“

„What was it again, wait…“

You already begin to sort through your wardrobe, checking each hanger, each drawer, end up where you store your socks, and finally pull out a larger plastic zip bag from the very depths of all that chaos. There it is. Nice.

„Lix, if you’d turn around for me, please.“

He immediately does. Blushing.

„Thank you, angel.“

You pull off your sweat pants, your grey shirt, socks, your bra. Time to dress up. Only your simple black panties stay on. On goes a pair of scarlet stockings, snug and high. Then, a dark red latex skirt that goes in big circles and flounces, down to the mid-thigh. 

Added: A tight sleeveless peplum top that admittedly… and deliberately squeezes your boobs a little. Not too much. More important is that your nipples are showing right through, and the cleavage is sweeping, every demon would be salivating at your feet. If an angel does: Remains to be tested.

Around your waist and chest and over your shoulder goes a black harness, pulling everything together. Some very pointed, glossy pumps with thin heels complete the costume. They’re not crafted to be walked on in the very least, their balance is terrible. You’re planning something else with them. Cherry on top: Devil horn headband. Really curved and pointy, too. Can’t go wrong. You click your tongue and take a spin. The skirt flares out perfectly. Ready to go.

„Felix, time to turn around.“

He does. You can tell he didn’t cheat.

„You’re, you’re so hot in this,“ Felix buries his face right in the comfort of his sweater paws, hoping they would not give away his embarrassed little face. But — his voice does, effortlessly so.

„Come on, have a look at me. Real closely, angel, come. You’re allowed to.“

Felix gazes through his fingers with what sounds like a little meep! in a much more high-pitched tone than his usual speaking range. He’s cute.

„Hey pum’kin. Miss Lucifer speaking. Where’s the barbecue?“

Felix and you recently agreed that hell must be one big and extremely hot cave where everyone’s grilling and having a good time. Australia, essentially.

„Welp!“

„Damn right. Infiltrating God’s realm one cloud at a time. Any last words?“

„It’s so intimidating!“

Felix digs himself into a mountain of pillows on the bed, with only his eyes and nose peeking out. You shrug, adjust your horns.

„Hm. Time for my first satanic act I guess.“

„Oh no!“

„Wait just one minute, be a sweet and patient boy.“

You leave Yongbok confused given that you’re quick to hurry to the kitchen. However, what you return with puts a giggle on his lips right away.

„Boom. It is served.“

„Yes, yes, please!“

Poufy black cocoa cupcakes. The ones with the cute little ghost frosting on it, and the melted chocolate inside. Felix finds them irresistable since the last Halloween party, to the point where you bake them mid-July. The current set of cupcakes was meant to be a contribution to Bang Chan’s eerie and delectable buffet. As for now, they’re in deep need of someone hungry since you made a lot of them, assuming a post-workout Changbin would devour at least five or more.

„Good move,“ he admits, a little shaky, and you proceed to tray the cupcakes on the bed — stuffing Felix for a solid ten minutes until there’s chocolate all over his face. What you’ll be quick to confess is that you’ve been deliberately messy feeding him, with all the crumbs in particular.

„Spoiled honey bun,“ you plant a kiss on top of his head.

„These taste so good, I swear.“

Next up is Felix who has to carefully maneuver the sweet treats into your mouth without spoiling your outfit.

„If you get crumbs into my cleavage, I can’t put your face in there later you know.“

Fierce nodding.

„That’s the spirit.“

Under your eagle eyes, he proves to be an obedient little cherub doing his job pretty well. The cakes are delicious in how spongy they are, and the liquid chocolate warms up so well on the tongue, it melts even more. You’re more than pleased and have Felix store away the remaining four pieces only after quite a while.

„I’ll have them for Brekkie, woo!“ is what he’s fast to proclaim, and you agree he’ll need them the next morning. Once you’re done with him, that’s gonna count as a hangover even Chan’s wildest party couldn’t give him.

„We’re talking dinner first, Felix.“

At this point, all the sugar is kicking in. Or it’s the chocolate being some kind of aphrodisiac. Whatever, could be either, you’re feeling like you’re up there at the ceiling, and you’re not the only one. Felix coming back to the bedroom so bouncy and cutieful just gets you even more in the mood.

You sit at the edge of the bed, slanting backward just a little. „You look like you need some more corruption, I won’t lie,“ you pat your lap, beckoning. He can ditch wifi because this is his favorite hot spot waiting for him. Felix sits down looking tiny as ever, eyes full of anticipation and his pants full of… big fat late night erection.

„I don’t mind at all, Miss. I don’t, oh my god…“ he mumbles into his nonexistent Aussie trucker beard, and you’re clear that whatever the skirt did to him, his brain must be doing kangaroo somersaults right now. In the meantime, something very eager is poking right at your lower belly. Captain Boomerang already came fully armed tonight and the Suicide Squad isn’t even anywhere near to be seen.

„Oh hey hey, cupcake. Getting really big there,“ you wipe at the curled little corners of his mouth. Some crumbs come off. His lips already twitch the way you know they want to do naughty things on you. He doesn’t seem to notice. Autopilot Felix has already taken over.

„Don’t hurry with it,“ he stares, mouth half-open, but his little grinds prove him a dirty — in an entirely direct sense — fucking liar. Like he’s literally rubbing himself against your stomach.

„Boy oh boy. You’re not even trying.“

„I’m fucked!“ is what Felix soon realizes with the daggers you’re shooting at him through your hopefully very satanic-looking eyes right now. Alongside catching up with his darn hips doing their own thing.

„You are.“

„I’m sorry for grinding, God help me!“

„He won’t. Cuz I’m here on your cloud. Cue stage number two of my demonic plan. Safeword?“

„It’s chocolate!“

„Mh. Good pick.“

The rest as usual. Tapping the thigh, yellow for pause, towels plus water ready, and always double-checking the lube in case of Jisung putting a glass of vegemite under your bed as his latest practical joke. Yes, it happened. It’s a whole new level of demonic. On the other hand: perhaps Felix’ ass could’ve actually handled it, Made in Australia it is. 

„Let’s go honey angel,“ you curl at his hair with a little finger just to tease him a little more. The answer is a little meow, at this point Felix’ communication skills have simplified to kitten vocabulary which always happens when he is nervous and looking forward to something.

Next thing poor Felix knows, his face has entered the scorching satanic abyss that is your cleavage. Literally, you’re burning up. It’s fucking October and Felix has you breaking a sweat from all your horniness (literally, your horns are just that chic) already. Twice the reason to punish the shit out of him. If that can be considered anything near a punishment.

A shower of various „Mh— nh!“ and mewling noises comes to rain down on you while Felix face takes a trip down mammary lane, and that, too, is literal. He’s salivating. So much about rain. Actually, great lubrication. Felix always does things best by instinct.

„Yes, good boy. Great job.“

Now that his mouth is wet already, you’re unceremonious about shoving your fingers right down his throat after he resurfaces. Blushed, hard, and ready to choke himself since he’s already running short on breath. It doesn’t take long until he’s gagging himself stupid and the sparkles under his eyes start running.

„Pretty, pretty,“ you lean down a little, kissing his nose. „Give me all you got.“

„Gh—gch—“

The answer is as slobbery and unintelligible as can be. To a normal human, at least. You’re a demonic top. That automatically means having an Ivy League major in gag noise translation.

„Oh yes, I know,“ you stroke his hair, using your free hand that usually rests at the back of his neck. „Talk to me about it. Exactly what I was thinking. Do go on.“

And he does, louder than ever. If there’s one satisfying sound, it’s this, that heavenly deep voice doing all kinds of nasty acrobatics is making you go crazy. That Felix is absolutely close to cumming in his angel pants is very much clear to you given how the veins and muscles on his neck are having a chaotic Halloween party on their own.

Which includes his tongue taking turns on your two fingers as well. And a wide-eyed Felix struggling, swallowing, holding on to your shoulders with his little feet twitching in their sneakers. Like mad… and you love it. But also — hopelessly sucking and moaning and slurping and squealing until his neck has way too much saliva on it for you not to make it your next target. Felix is so good at this. Way too good.

„Looks delicious,“ you lean in, your hair tickles his ears. And now, you’re busy nibbling, biting a little… and most importantly, giving Felix a wet hickey that will send his makeup artist — my God, you really torture the unsuspecting man almost weekly — into a meltdown. Rowdy and unholy is the look you’re going for.

In the meantime, Felix is still wrapped up trying to hit your fingers at the back of his throat. If his cute bouncy run and rude boner moment didn’t turn you on already, now you would be. The way he’s just sucking in his own spit makes you realize that you won’t ever need a fire brigade for your flat.

You emerge from his neck and raise your brows. Felix is just hard-wired to impress. „Just how much saliva can you produce!“

„Ch… Mnh— Nh…“

Hitting some more complex syntax and consonants there, is he.

„Oh, I get it now. You stayed hydrated during the day. Thanks for explaining, mate. That’s the secret.“

Whether that’s perfectly scientifically correct down to the enzyme theory and shit neither of you can google right now. At least you know that you’re both drenched on either end so that’s that.

Once Felix is so horny from deepthroating your damn hand that he has pull off and yellow-word, you’re already prepared for introducing a new position which you can prepare while he’s gathering himself and wiping off his chin. You hand him a second towel for his neck, and present him a little hand mirror to see how the hickey turned out.

„It’s shaped like, hm,“ he pants, words still slurring a little. „I dunno! It’s really cute!“

„Let me see… No doubt that’s a rice cake hickey. That’s the shape.“

„You’re right!“

And off he goes snapping a selfie with it while you get comfortable on your back, cleaning your own fingers.

„Just don’t upload that one to Insta instead of the cloud shots, we’re not gonna survive another Manager call at 1:15 AM.“

„Can I use your phone for it? That’s where it’s supposed to be on, anyway.“

Felix giggles a little. That cute brat. Always knowing how it’s done.

„Sure babe!“

And voilà, Felix is already occupied setting a good view of his new rice cake-shaped friend as your phone background. Good thing, helps his erection cool down a little, he was about to blow up his poor white pants. The acceptable unfair feat being that he’s just riling you up even more like that on the other hand.

„If you come to mommy now,“ you wriggle one foot in the air, the other splayed on the duvet, knee slightly bent. „Rubbing her pussy and doing your thing, you know how it goes.“

„Angel duties calling! What am I doing!“

At the speed of sound, Felix stores your phone back on the bedside table and crawls over in an instant. He props his chin on your abdomen and blinks.

„Sorry Ma’am. At your service. Never wanna keep you waiting.“

A big smile rouses his cheeks, and you boop them from either side. His peach fuzz is so soft and his eyes are so beautifully dark. You don’t waste any time keeping your skirt down for any longer. Another blink and Felix is already pawing — well, kneading and caressing technically — between your legs. He’s visibly understanding just how wet the whole finger sucking circus has left you now.

„What if I used my heels on your cock, boo. Still no cumming. Just my heels and my lil’ prince.“

Satanic plan stage number three. Felix has gotten to savor it last Christmas and for his birthday, and some time around the holidays in summer.

„I love it yay!“ Felix claps his hands. Baby, baby.

„C’mere then. Just keep on rubbing.“

His arms are fairly long enough. While you’re dragging the slender heels of either shoe right across the outlines on his crotch, Felix, eyes loosely closed, maintains a steady rhythm on your clit with three fingers lined up on the fabric of your panties.

„Oh fucking hell, Felix, shit—“

Whenever you masturbate, that alone would never do. You’d get frustrated after a while. Need more stimulation. But when Felix is on angel duty to keep your pussy soaked, it doesn’t need much to make your clit throb, even with your underwear still on. Guess that God’s little helpers know how to work their magic to make your head spin.

He’s hitting the right spot, with the right moves, and his other hand doesn’t miss out on a single opportunity to stroke at both the in- and outside of your thighs. The touch is so subtle, you twitch. Felix strokes on, delirious himself. His eyelids flutter.

„Fuck…“

Despite the little pause from earlier taking out most of his tension, your heels leave Felix with pants that are even more bulged out. That’s making it easy to direct your feet to jerk up and down at either side. You’d never know either of you would be so into this. Foot fetish and all.

Once he’s edged you to the point of moans, last thing you properly remember is calling it quits with the panties and telling him to line himself up. The heels kicked off, the skirt still on, you decide that unpacking your Halloween treat has been long overdue. You slide his pants down, roll down a pink condom, and grab his cock at the base to glide it all over your wet lips.

„Lix, come fuck me. You got me all horny. Satan is recruiting.“

„With me it’s not sinning,“ he smiles, brighter than the sun and you do right along. It’d be hard not to. Felix truly has the innocence of a virgin, the subtle confidence of an intermediate, the caution of a pro, and the kindness of a real veteran.

„You’re right about that Felix,“ you say, prop your entrance at the very tip, let the wetness do its job. „Come kiss your honey girl.“

And he does. Entering you with care for the right angle, letting your hip do the rest. What’s been circling and sucking your fingers so deliciously is now doing a hot job teasing and pleasing your tongue all over. His lips are amazingly soft and plump, they open so gently and feel electric on yours. A gentle squeeze around your left breast sparks a moan into the kiss from you. It’s Felix massaging your breasts while deepening his penetration, and you can tell the vegemite can stay under the bed today. You can tell Felix is getting more than flustered knowing it was all him who made you this dripping wet.

Even his dick seems to blush in sync. It’s fucking pink and red. Oh wait, that’s the condom. But knowing him and from your viewpoint, it’s still more flushed than before, no kidding. Faithfully pumping in and out of you at its full length now. You wrap your legs around his waist, the thrusts become deeper, shorter, parting you open much more, and filling you out so properly.

„So good. Right there, angel. Just right there. I’m loving that.“

Felix has a great dick. Best handy size, the girth’s comfortable, all nice and bendy, virtually no curve, you can always gyrate on it in any way and even take a complete 180 if you go from cowgirl to reverse (which you’d be doing right now but he’d crush his wings if he were on his back like that so no). Cherry on top, compact but soft balls that don’t steal the show but still do the trick during doggy. They’re whipping up the best cum in the world, so.

The slow kissing goes on and on and Felix tries to walk the tightrope of neither letting your pussy lips suck the orgasm out of him, nor making you cream his cock with shaky legs from all that gorgeous sloppy friction, and the kissing, and his sweet cherry shampoo scent that has your brain in absolute limbo.

With everything hanging by a thread like that, every kiss becomes special and full of a suspense that makes your lips tremble — either set, and Felix can hardly bear it himself.

His little halo is dangling back and forth, and you can tell by his face that all that thrusting has him in serious trouble. And you? Are fucking leaking and groaning, and that little shallow series of first contractions before your orgasm is already preparing you.

The sugar high from the cupcakes is fading, but your adrenaline is sure to replace it. You just want Felix to fuck you more and rock against him, and hold his head, and kiss him. God, his mouth is so warm and inviting, tastes so good like cocoa.

The pace joins yours without any effort, it adapts when your rhythm changes, and it stabilizes everything when you’re currently riding the high of his cock really filling you out so you can clench your muscles around him, feel him and tell him just you wait, I’ll milk you. He’s such a good kisser. You can feel all of your wetness running down your ass like it’s Christmas.

„Felix, I’m overflowing.“

„I’m so sorry,“ he whines into the kiss. „I’ll be washing the sheets.“

„Listen, baby,“ you break the tongue-on-tongue, „you doing laundry is really sexy. But the overflow is the best part. Just look what you’re doing to my body.“

You could ravage him on the spot. He’d probably lose it and cum in two seconds. Holding yourself before the edge is so tough right now.

„Shit… yellow again. Need a moment.“

Felix has to resort to a bit of cockwarming, and you use the little break to rid yourself off the harness. It’s not perfectly comfortable when you’re lying down. You’re about to fling it off the bed that Felix asks to wear it. Oh. Very well. It actually goes as a nice contrast on his white top, and the straps make it easy to adjust to him. And he wants it to sit on him really tightly. Oh again.

You realize—

On you, it’s only a fashion piece. Something random that came with the costume.

On him: It’s kinky.

„Hey hey. You look sexy, pum’kin,“ you pat at his chest. „Look at your waist, wow.“

Your sweet boy. It’s like it’s made for him. So cinched and the exact opposite of his costume. He’s a corrupted, dirty angel now, it’s perfect. With his pink neck and all sweaty face, and his little puppy gaze that will haunt you in your sex dreams because it literally just gets into your pants so much. Oh god, you just wanna cum. You have to distract yourself with chaste images of Felix washing the dishes or writing grocery lists with little hearts and emojis on them but that just makes it five times worse.

The way he puts the harness on with his dick inside you is so mouthwatering and cumworthy, you can’t wait to resume and switch your own brains off on that angel cock. Once Felix is ready to exit phase yellow and resume the session, your hands magically gravitate towards the straps of the harness at this waist.

„Can I?“

„M—hm!“

You have the time of your life grabbing and guiding him by the harness, controlling every thrust. Felix clenches up his teeth from how lavishly his cock is squeezing into your pussy.

„Oh babe,“ you groan out. „Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Come on, angel.“

He’s not going to take it much longer. Felix is tensing all over, neck to the knees, it’s a huge shock wave in the making. That climax is going to be like a fucking punch into outer space.

„I’m really at my limit, I’m, I’m…!“

„Cum for me, angel,“ you reach to his neck to bring his lips down again. Your mouths going into shaky contact brings a big soaring moan with it.

„Ahn—!“

You lock lips, his face scrunches up, and you can tell that cum worth of three orgasms is currently pooling into the condom. You don’t belong to the mile high club, but going by how far up this feels, you might as well be. Those sweet shivers. And the little whines. It’s all too much for him, this one got him bad. Felix cumming is like the angels really are singing. With bells and harps and all that shit at once.

After pulling out, the ruined condom goes off lightning fast. Felix’ cock gets some much-needed cooling, but his face is on heavy duty. How he does it after almost getting his lights turned off, it’s a mystery, it must have been six whole loads he shot into you. You’d already be collapsing in his shoes. Felix still being able to put his mouth to work is an act of divine intervention. Honestly though, it doesn’t even take half a minute. Sloppy head from Felix is cryptonite, your stamina comes tumbling down. His tongue just knocks you out with an overwhelming rush of pleasure.

“Oh— yes...”

What is gravity? You don’t know what north and south mean anymore. He laps and sucks you through your high and your legs give up their soldier service. All you see it fluffy blonde strands of hair peeking from below your skirt, a glimpse of the harness, the rest is heavy growling and swearing from all of the contractions and Felix getting raw and dirty Down Under with no fears, literally none, to bury his face and move it around and let his tongue loose. Time and again Felix shows you he’s a swallower. Satanic agenda: success.

For tonight, your pussy will be nothing but glitter, cum, and spit. Swollen like crazy, properly fucked, and tipped to the absolute limit. Felix keeps on slicking up his face completely, and then brings you into the afterglow with his fingers. One at a time, barely adding stimulation. Just fetching you where you are and climbing down. Looks like you’ll share the cupcakes, this is a couple hangover in the making. In Felix’ case in particular. It’s like he signed up for testing a mad scientist’s latest designer drug.

„Wow wow… So you served me choco cupcakes and God’s menu,“ is the last thing he can say in his delirium before falling over. He’s so fucked out and went so wild on eating you, a part of the harness came off. Thank god his nose is so small, all that swiping could’ve broken the bridge and whatnot. And his lips, they’re twice as plump. You really have to compliment in on what his mouth has done today because that was some champ shit.

You’re both buffering on the sheets for a solid five minutes until you roll to the side. Towel… water… forehead kisses. Yes, forehead kisses most importantly. After gathering yourself a little, you pamper Felix into a heart rate around 90 rather than 120. And with the onset of exhaustion for the two of you, that’s not too hard after some minutes passing. Whispering sweet nothings and praise is all you do up until 2 AM and after. Felix is somewhere between worlds, one foot in the door of the dreamland, the other soaking up the care and the intoxicating, thick scent of the room that has a lot of cherry shampoo in it.

At some point. You loosen the harness, pull off his shirt with the wings attached. The halo you unsuccessfully try to spot in his hair. Turns out: It flew off. Felix really must’ve made Satan proud if it fell down just like that. Good job. Felix has earned a title of being a dirty angel now, and by the way he’s chugging water now, a wet one on top of that.

Five tons of spit, six, seven, who knows how many he’s afforded for today. A head pat is not enough, it has to be several, and Felix passes out onto the pillows. As good as you can, you wipe him down, bin the condom, get off his shoes and his half-pulled down trousers. After staggering to the bathroom, your skirt and peplum shirt follows, the stockings stay on, they’re cozy as hell. Last but not least, you remove your devil horns. It feels like they granted you the most unknown demonic powers.

Next time Felix is on his way to making you cum again, you’ll be wearing them, and you’ll last the way you did tonight. Meanwhile, Bang Chan is blowing up your phone because Felix pressed send by accident earlier, but you don’t notice. It just keeps on vibrating on the bedstand and Chris will have to riddle over the rice cake selfie for the rest of November.

Felix dozes with an angelic little smile on his lips and puffs his cheeks in his sleep, his makeup wiped and his hair truly messy. Instagram can wait. Maybe you’ll get to brush your teeth a little later, it usually takes some time until you wake up again and topple to the sink. You huddle together, tuck your sweet baby pum’kin into his second favorite spot at your chest. Ah, the glory of Felix little spooning.

As the last signature, you nibble at his ear, call him your cutie pie, and switch the lights off. You have to listen closely but if you do, it’s like Felix is purring in his sleep. Whatever your own dreamland is planning to launch on you tonight, you’re looking forward to it.

© 2017-2020 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. reposts, modifications and translations are prohibited. character depictions are fictional & for entertainment purposes only.

PS — oh, my good ole fellas, a last cursed disclaimer. i must insist on the following for obvious reasons. vegemite makes for some terrible strap lube okay 😂🇦🇺

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[whatifyoulivelikethat]

savage love, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: We all make happy mistakes, right? And Jeon Jungkook’s was fucking Min Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend. Oops.

notes: After being attacked for a full week by long-haired, ponytail Jungkook, they just had to drop Savage Love BTS remix... so I had to write about it, of course.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, smut (fem reader, m-receiving oral, cowgirl on a couch); non-idol!AU; big feels; ponytail!Jungkook in gray sweats; Jungkook’s POV

--

“I shouldn’t be in love with you.”

She grinned.

“Oh, yeah. I know.”

Jeon Jungkook chewed on his lower lip nervously, furrowing his brows. He knew he shouldn’t be touching her, because she was the ex-girlfriend of one of his close friends. He heard it had been a messy break-up with cheating and vicious words thrown at each other.

Why would I be in love with you? Love is fleeting anyway.

Are you serious? What the point of spending all this time together then?

Who knows? You would literally fuck anything that walked.

The fuck? I haven’t touched anyone besides you! And then you do this to me?

We were both drunk. I only kissed her.

You know what, go to hell, Min Yoongi!

Jungkook knew all the words exchanged because he had accidentally walked in on the whole thing. Yoongi’s best friend, Jung Hoseok, asked Jungkook to return some music equipment to Yoongi since Jungkook lived nearby but, well, nothing really turned out as planned.

Everyone thought Yoongi’s girl was hot. They always teased him how he got so lucky to catch such a woman. Maybe some people wouldn’t find her cute or pretty, but there was no denying the sexy confidence of her presence that immediately dominated the room when she entered. Short skirts, tight tops, leather jackets, combat boots – she just had that look. That feeling. Perky tits, perky ass, thighs that begged to be squeezed and molded, a smirk that could kill you.

So, when she unexpectedly showed up at Jungkook’s apartment the day after she walked out on Yoongi, Jungkook expected her to be sad. He expected puffy eyes and an oversized sweatshirt. Instead, he found the same teasing, cocked eyebrow and the tiniest black dress he’d ever seen, complete with a silver-studded black leather jacket. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

“Would you be mad if I kissed you right now?” she asked in greeting.

Jungkook sputtered. “N-no, but–”

She cut him off by getting on the tiptoes of her chunky ankle boots and kissed him, plush lips on his, pressing hard against his body. They stumbled into his apartment, her hands clenching his grey hoodie, slamming the door closed with her heel. She had him breathless within seconds, her kisses firm but coy, teeth nipping at his lips. She didn’t shove her tongue into his mouth, but let it linger between his lips, lightly licking before pulling away as he moaned softly.

She backed off to unzip her shoes and kick them off, giving Jungkook a moment to breathe.

“Does… does Yoongi-hyung know you’re here?” Jungkook croaked, still stunned by her entrance.

She shrugged. “Who cares? He doesn’t matter now. Only you matter.”

He really shouldn’t have been happy about that but his heart skipped two beats. It was extremely likely that the only reason that she was here was to get back at Yoongi. For his sanity, he really should just tell her to go home. But she yanked down his grey sweatpants way too fast and he started, suddenly shoved against the wall as she kissed up his leg.

“I always thought you looked pretty good with longer hair, Jungkook,” she purred, leaning against his legs and looking up at him. Tits. Yup, that’s basically what his brain immediately fixated on.

Jungkook reached up and touched his black hair as if he didn’t know the length. He had worked out a bit before returning home and his hair was still tied up in its small ponytail. He felt his cheeks burn with the compliment.

“A-ah… I haven’t gotten a haircut in a while,” he stuttered, sucking in a breath as she stroked him slowly through his underwear.

“It still looks good,” she said casually, as if she wasn’t palming him right at the entrance of his apartment. “But you always look good.” She blinked slowly, a smile dancing on her lips. “You’re handsome, Jungkook. Handsome and so, so fuckable.”

Welp, he was screwed now. It didn’t really matter if she meant it or not because his cock was literally trying to rip out of his boxer briefs by himself. He was rock hard and his face was ten million degrees with how red he was getting. She tilted her head at him, one hand gently cupping his dick and balls through his underwear. Almost innocent with how focused she was on him, lips slightly parted, her free hand clinging to his leg. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought she was an angel.

“Do you want to fuck me, Jungkook?”

Oh, god, the way his name floated out of her lips like an ocean wave crashing into his soul. His resolve crumbled like a sandcastle. His mind was going blank except for the thousands of fantasies he had about Yoongi’s girlfriend. No one could shame him if they stayed in his head, right? No one could see him if he was rubbing one out in the shower, or on his bed, or fuck, even in his damn kitchen. It was his apartment! No one was going to know.

She wasn’t Yoongi’s girlfriend anymore now, right? Who cared what happens now?

“Fuck yes, I want to fuck you,” Jungkook nearly begged, grinding his hips into her hand.

She grinned devilishly at him and yanked his underwear down. He gasped as she leaned in and licked his cock, nice and slow, trailing over his balls.

“Ah, n-no… I’m dirty…”

She smirked. “Only going to get dirtier with me involved.”

His head hit the wall as she took one of his balls into her mouth. It was instant warmth and wetness, pleasure soaking deliciously into every fiber of his being. Oh, fuck. Her mouth was so soft but tight, tongue circling around him as she worked him. His hands were flat against the wall and the pathetic whines were most certainly him, but Jungkook couldn’t register them at all because he was trying to not ram her in the face with his hips. The head of his cock smeared against her cheek and he shuddered at the sensation. Such soft skin. She lifted it, switching sides. He moaned much too loudly, chanting her name as she tugged lightly, bobbing her head up and down. So warm. So wet.

She hadn’t even actually sucked his dick yet and it was leaking everywhere.

When he thought he was going to burst, she finally released him and planted a sloppy kiss on the head of his cock, tongue expertly sliding out to rub against the bottom of the head. If she slowed down for one fucking second, then he might have made a much sexier noise than his yelp as she enveloped his cock with his mouth, eyes glued to his reaction as she went down, down.

“Oh, fuuuuuuck,” he groaned, eyelids fluttering.

He could feel the head being squeezed by the back of her throat. Her tongue caressed the bottom, ever so slightly swiveling her head from side to side. Each movement made the head of his cock rub against different cervices, his breath hiking with pleasure. After a moment, she moved back a little and then slowly bobbed her head up and down, mouth so wet Jungkook thought she was going to spill, but her lips were tight against the base of his cock. When she slid up, she would squeeze the base of the head with her lips and then suck him in. She steadily increased her pace, eyes closed, brows furrowed in concentration. The head of his cock rubbed deliciously against the roof of her mouth, sending sparks dancing down his spine.

In short, how was he supposed to get normal blowjobs after this?

Jungkook gasped, feeling the familiar tightening at the base of his stomach.

“W-wait, I’m going to–”

She went even faster, what the actual fuck–

He moaned as he came, cock jerking in her mouth as he felt her suck it out of him, swallowing infuriatingly calmly as if this was routine for her. It was a lot more than he thought he could produce and she held his hips in place, licking the sensitive head gently as the last few drops were milked out of him. Jungkook shivered, realizing he was panting heavily as if he had run ten miles. She pulled back slowly, opening her mouth. His cock slid out, slapping against his thigh wetly as a string of saliva snapped between it and her tongue.

Was this what nirvana felt like?

“Hey, Jungkook?”

He snapped out of his reverie, eyes going wide. “What? What, is something wrong?”

She chuckled and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. “Nope, just wanted to say you tasted good today.”

Today? Did that that mean there were more days in the future? His mind reeled as she stood up and kissed him lightly, the bitter saltiness of his own cum lingering.

“Still want to fuck me?” she said, leaning against his chest.

His mind was still hesitating but his body answered for him. “Yes.”

She hugged him around the waist, eyebrow cocked and waiting for his reaction. Jungkook nervously chewed on his lip, lost in her eyes. He wanted to be trapped in her gaze forever. His hands slid up her sides, pulling her to him. She smelled like dark cherries, invading his senses.

“Why me?” he whispered, throat dry.

Her hand stroked his cheek with a smile.

“Why not?”

Her thumb grazed against his lower lip, teasing it from his teeth.

“I want to fuck you, Jungkook.”

He kissed her, hungrily, feeling her smirk against his lips. They stumbled to his couch, Jungkook’s legs getting tangled in his sweatpants and underwear. He frowned and kicked them away impatiently, yanking his hoodie over his head. His hair came out disheveled and fluffy. Jungkook shook his head to unstick the hair from his face. She tried to hide her laughter behind her hands and he pouted, shoving her onto the couch. The hem of her dress hiked up, revealing the tops of her juicy thighs. Jungkook froze.

She wasn’t wearing panties.

He saw the flash of her wet, glistening pussy before she closed her legs, sliding up against the couch.

Yup, his cock was awake again.

“You…” Jungkook was lost for words.

She reached into her leather jacket and held out a condom. “Yes?”

Jungkook gulped. He moved a little closer, knowing this was a terrible idea and probably not going to end well, but for some reason he really didn’t care. His hands were still on the sofa, on either side of her. She placed her hand on his, lightly caressing his knuckles. Eyes on his, watching him closely.

“I shouldn’t do this,” he said.

She nodded. “Yeah.”

He inhaled deeply, smelling her cherry perfume and the scent of sex. “I shouldn’t want you.”

Her fingertips tapped against the back of his hand. “There are worse things in this world.”

Jungkook chewed on his lower lip nervously.

“I shouldn’t be in love with you.”

Her lips curved into a devious smile.

“Oh, yeah. I know.”

Jungkook leaned down, heart beating fast, head foggy as if he was drunk. Her words sounded a little bitter even though she tried to keep her tone light-hearted. Maybe she didn’t want to hear the word love right now. But the moment he said it, Jungkook knew that was how he felt. His eyes flickered to hers.

“Promise me this isn’t the last time.”

Something flitted across her expression. She seemed to realize how serious he was. After a moment, she nodded slowly.

“Okay. Promise.”

He kissed her, hard, not hesitating anymore. His phone was buzzing loudly on the coffee table and he could guess who it was, but he ignored it, hands cupping her face, planting kisses on her cheeks and lips. She laughed against his kisses, soft and sweet, and for the first time since she had arrived, she sounded happy in his arms. They made it a little game, dodging each other’s lips when they tried to kiss the other until they were breathlessly grinning like a pair of idiots.

Jungkook sat up, smile plastered to his face. He took the condom from her and put it on, discarding the foil wrapper to the floor. He looked up to see her shrugging out of her leather jacket and pulling her dress over her head. No bra either. Her breasts bounced into view, making his mouth water. She tossed the dress aside and smirked.

“Think you’re drooling a little, Jungkook.”

He quickly touched his lips but there was nothing. She laughed, pushing him against the sofa. He pouted but it turned into a moan as she sank down on him, sighing in satisfaction. So warm, so wet, so tight.

“You didn’t let me stretch you out,” Jungkook whined, gasping as the last inch slid in. Fuck, she was so damn tight.

She seemed pleased, tongue between her teeth as she smiled at him. “I couldn’t wait.”

He pouted. It was obvious she did it on purpose. She didn’t seem hurt and she didn’t move right away, placing her arms around his neck and squeezing him with her thighs. Her pussy clenched around him, relaxing before squeezing him again. Wait. Jungkook’s eyes widened as he realized she was squeezing him like that on purpose. Voluntarily.

“How am I supposed to last more than two seconds?” he frowned, sucking in a breath as she began to move, sliding up and down with ease.

She hummed smugly. “That’s what next time is for, right?”

Jungkook highly doubted that she was ever going to give him a break. Her face was far too smug for that. He reached up and massaged her breasts, gasping as she increased her pace. She moaned as he rubbed his thumbs against her nipples, teasing the tips with his nail. He had thought about these breasts a little too much. It felt surreal to have such softness in his hands. Her dress must have had built-in cups because her large nipples were hard, jutting out at him. Jungkook imagined them poking out from under one of his t-shirts and groaned, thrusting up into her.

She gasped, clutching his shoulders. An eyebrow raised in question.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” she asked playfully.

Jungkook felt his cheeks burn. “A-ah, just… imagining you in my clothes. With nothing underneath.”

She chuckled and leaned forward, lips against his ear. Her tongue traced against his earlobe.

“That could be arranged.”

His moan became a needy whimper, ramming his hips up again.

“Wanna make you cum for me,” he mumbled, hands sliding down to her hips.

Her teeth caught his earlobe, breath hot against his skin. “Go for it.”

Jungkook wanted to start off slow and make it last but he was too horny and worked up for that. He fucked her from below, kneading her ass as he did so, gasping as she squeezed him every time he came up. Her breathing became labored, pulling him close, breasts bouncing against his chest as she gasped out his name, longing and lovely. He felt her hand slide up and bury into his hair, her back arching.

If this meant he was being used, well, fuck, he would do it again and again.

“F-fuck, Jungkook, harder, please.”

He obliged, setting his jaw as he slammed her down on him, relishing in her sweet sounds and the lewd, wet slapping of their hips.

“Fuck,” she hissed, pulling his hair hard as her pussy clenched, spilling around him and leaking onto his thighs and balls, thick and viscous like honey. Oh, god, it even smelled good, the scent of her orgasm so strong that Jungkook felt the familiar tension straining in his lower stomach, so close to his own. It only took two more thrusts and he groaned, slamming into her hard as his cock shot out into the condom, his cock throbbing inside her tightness, pussy squeezing him until there was no more.

It took a moment to float down from the high. She laid against his chest, the mess between their legs probably soaking into the sofa. He would have some cleaning up to do after. Maybe some unexplained stains.

She wrapped her arms around him, chin on his shoulder. He couldn’t see her face but the breath exhaled told him enough. Satisfied, relaxed, a little apologetic. Jungkook rubbed her back, kissing her neck softly.

“Need a shower,” she murmured.

Jungkook grinned. “Lucky for you, I have one right here.”

She really did have a beautiful laugh.

-

when you kiss me, I know you don't give two fucks but I still want that, your savage love

--

masterpost

[doeilovr]

Turn Back Time

-> Pairing: Lee Taeyong x femReader, special guest Kim Doyoung

-> Genre: Angst, Idol Taeyong au, Cheating au, break up au, a bit of smut (like 1 paragraph)

-> Warnings: cheating, cursing, suggestive themes, mention of sex, physical violence, self doubt

-> Summary: And it was moments like this you wished you could turn back time, to make him stop hurting you. Taeyong was your world and all you ever wished for was to be his too.

-> Words: 2.6 k

Disclaimer: this is not how Lee Taeyong is at all! This is merely fiction! Cheating is also not okay, just be kind, people and love truthfully!

You knew something had changed, when you heard Taeyong walk into your shared bedroom.

He was out late again, working on choreography and writing lyrics at the studio.

A month ago he would have cuddled up to you in bed, pecking you on the cheek, before he would fall asleep with his arms wrapped around your body.

But he had stopped doing that and just got into bed as silently as possible, trying not to wake you up. You were awake though. Thinking about what had changed between you two.

In the morning you would get up before him, staring at him sleeping peacefully in your bed, regretting whatever you did wrong.

You were making breakfast for the both of you when Taeyong joined you in the kitchen, his blonde hair messy and his eyes sleepy.

“Good morning”, you smiled at him, tempted to stroke his hair. Taeyong’s cold expression brought you back to reality. “Morning”, he mumbled, grabbing an apple from the counter.

You wanted to tell him you made breakfast for him, but he was faster. “I’m going to the studio. It’ll be late, no need to wait for me”, he announced, not waiting for an answer and disappearing back into the bedroom.

Your stomach twisted, you just couldn’t understand what you did wrong. You weren’t even hungry anymore, putting the freshly cooked food in the fridge for another time.

You were determined to win Taeyong back, even if you didn’t know why you had lost him on the first place. Maybe he got tired of you because you never surprised him. Maybe he wanted you to be more spontaneous. With these thoughts in mind you bought coffee and made your way to the studio.

You entered the recording studio, knowing Taeyong was alone, as it was late already. He stood in the recording booth, practicing some random verses. He looked good, wearing a white tee and ripped black jeans. His blonde hair was messy, as he was constantly running his fingers through it.

To be honest, he just looked tired.

Your breath hitched in your throat, when he locked eyes with you. Taeyong put down the headphones and stepped out of the booth.

“What are you doing here?” He walked past you, pressing some buttons on the computer.

“I brought you coffee”, you smiled, placing the Americano down next to him. Taeyong side eyed you, noticing your black coat. You felt his hot gaze on your body, making your cheeks flush.

“Yeah, actually I’m not just here for that.” Carefully you pushed Taeyong down on the leather chair behind him. He let you guide him, intently watching your every move.

You placed a kiss to his soft lips, before you grabbed his hand, guiding it to open up your coat. It had been a while since you last kissed and you had missed him. The feeling of his lips against yours. Taeyong watched you with intense eyes, opening the coat to reveal a set of white lingerie.

You had bought it just for him and felt nervous to show yourself like this, since it had been a while you two last had sex. Or just any other intimate interaction.

You sat down on his lap, your eyes never leaving his face. Taeyong gulped visibly, before you placed another kiss on his lips, this time using your tongue. His hands roamed around your body and his member twitched beneath you. Fuck, he felt so good.

Your hand traveled down his chest, all the way to the button of his jeans. You stroked him through the fabric, making him inhale sharply. “I want you, Taeyong”, you whispered, a sudden desperation in your voice.

There was a flicker in Taeyong’s dark eyes, his hand moving to yours and grabbing it quickly. Just when you thought you got through to him, he removed your hand from his crotch, pushing you off his lap.

You stepped back, watching him with sad eyes. Did he really not love you anymore?

Taeyong got up, cursing under his breath. “Don’t fucking do that”, he mumbled, his eyes moving quickly.

“Taeyong-“, you tried to reach out to him, but he moved past you and got back into the recording booth. You felt so vulnerable, closing the jacket and hugging yourself.

Was that it? Was that how you broke up with him? Why couldn’t he just explain himself or at least talk to you? You wiped away a tear that threatend to run down your cheek and left the room.

In a quick pace you moved down the long corridor, making your way to the exit, while trying to calm down. On your way around a corner you bumped into someone’s chest.

“Y/n?” Doyoung smiled down at you. You greeted him quickly and hoped he wouldn’t notice your glistening eyes.

“Are you here for Taeyong?” You started shaking your head vigorously, trying to smile back at him, but you looked rather awkward.

“I’m on my way out, actually.” Doyoung’s smile faded a bit. He just knew you too well, sensing that there was something wrong.

“Everything alright?” He furrowed his brows. “Yeah, don’t worry. I’m just tired”, you waved your hand around. “I’ll get going now, see you around.” Doyoung nodded, waving goodbye to you and watching you walk away.

Something for sure wasn’t right. You didn’t look happy at all. And Doyoung wondered why?

Back home you cried yourself to sleep. You loved Taeyong too much, how could he so easily turn away from you? That night he didn’t come home at all.

You just got out of the shower the next evening, when Taeyong texted you. You hadn’t heard from him the whole day and felt beyond disappointed. He could have so easily talked to you, but he chose to ignore you. “I’m out with the boys”, the text read. You didn’t reply and went on with getting ready for bed.

You were lying awake for way too long now, taking a glance at the clock to see it was not even midnight yet. Your phone suddenly rang, it was Doyoung.

“Hey y/n”, he greeted.

“Doyoung.” You often talked over the phone like this, but it had become less and less after Taeyong distanced himself from you. You felt weird being around his friends without him, which was stupid to be honest, as they all seemed to like you a lot.

“I didn’t wake you up, did I?” He gasped a little, probably just now realizing how late it was.

You chuckled. “No, don’t worry.” It felt good to talk to him again. “Are you also at the club?” You were curious. Honestly you just wanted to know if Taeyong had maybe talked to them about you. Who knows, maybe he was more talkative with them than with you.

“What do you mean? Who’s at the club”, he asked confused.

You chuckled nervously. “Taeyong told me he was out with you guys.”

Doyoung was quiet for a moment. “No. Taeyong did go out, but not with any of us. He went out with Jia, she’s collaborating with him, I don’t know.”

Your heart sank and you sat up in your bed, turning on the lamp. “What”, you mumbled. “Which club?”

“Pretty sure they went to Octagon. Is everything okay, y/n? You know you can tell me”, Doyoung reminded you softly.

You bit down on your lips, emotions washing over you. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m going back to sleep now”, you lied. Doyoung didn’t ask any further questions and said his goodbye before hanging up.

You sighed, dropping the phone on the bed. Taeyong lied to you. He had lied. But why? Did he cheat on you? Was he cheating on you right now?

He was. In the past week, while you were waiting at home, doubting yourself and everything you ever did wrong, he was with Jia. So he was now. In the club, dancing and making out with her, trying to get you out of his head.

That’s how you found yourself standing in front of the club the same hour. Dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater. To your luck, Doyoung showed up too, knowing damn well something wasn’t right. He got you in the club and searched for Taeyong with you.

When you finally spotted him you didn’t feel shocked or mad. No. You were sad. Sad, disappointed and broken-hearted. You still loved this man after all, even if you saw him cheating right here and in front of your eyes.

“Y/n”, Doyoung mumbled, following your gaze to Taeyong. Despite the loud music you could hear him clearly. Doyoung couldn’t believe his eyes either. Taeyong was cheating with Jia. His best friend was cheating on his other best friend.

Fuck.

“You knew?” Doyoung stared at you wide eyed, feeling nothing but empathy.

You nodded, tears prickling in your eyes. Seeing him make out with her so easily made you feel sick. You never thought Taeyong was able to hurt you like this.

You always thought the best of him. He was so caring. You didn’t know where it went wrong, but suddenly he treated you like you were the worst person ever. He replaced you and seemed to not even feel bad about it.

Walking towards Taeyong your steps felt heavy. You couldn’t lie to yourself any longer, he didn’t love you anymore. He hurt you and you wanted him to know that.

Stopping in front of him you waited until Taeyong caught your figure next to him, immediately staring at you with wide eyes. He almost pushed Jia back, startling her, before she also noticed you standing there.

Unlike him, she didn’t look fazed at all. You wondered if she even knew you were his girlfriend. You barely held back your tears and your voice was shaky.

“Whatever I did to you, I’m honestly sorry. I hope you’re fucking happy now.” You stopped for a second, taking in Taeyong’s face one more time, his shocked expression.

Quickly you disappeared in the crowd, making your way to the exit, Doyoung running behind you. As you got out of the club, the fresh air hit your face. Hot tears fell down your cheeks, as you slowly walked down the alley.

Doyoung came up next to you. “Are you okay”, he mumbled, putting a hand on your shoulder. You didn’t look okay. And he hated seeing you this broken.

Another voice called your name and you both turned around to find Taeyong angrily walking up to you. “Y/n”, he shouted.

He looked so angry and for what reason. Doyoung quickly stepped between the two of you. “Taeyong, fucking leave her alone”, he shouted, but Taeyong only pushed him to the side.

“You fucking knew”, he shouted at you and you stepped back, scared. “What sick game are you playing”, he added.

Now you got angry too, poking his chest with your index finger angrily. “I defended you all this time. I made up stupid excuses for you and your behavior, when you didn’t even have the guts to talk to me. This is so fucking low Taeyong, even for you”, you shouted back.

“Please, you’re obsessed with me. You even show up in the same fucking club, knowing I’m with someone else. You’re a pathetic bitch.” You saw the change of expression in his eyes as soon as he said the last words.

“Y/n-“ his face softened and he tried to reach out for you, but you quickly interrupted him, slapping him across his face.

Out of reflex, Taeyong shoved you to the ground and you landed on your butt. You gasped, finding yourself sitting on the cold asphalt. Taeyong realized what he just did and wanted to help you up, but Doyoung had already rushed to you side.

“Y/n are you okay?” Doyoung grabbed your hand. You couldn’t help but burst out in tears, letting Doyoung help you up. “Please take me home”, you whispered and he quickly nodded.

Taeyong watched you two walk away, Doyoung sending him a death glare as you both turned around.

He couldn’t believe how far he had went. He hated himself so much for hurting you. He had hurt you with cheating and now he had even hurt you physically. Taeyong never wanted this to happen either. He had been tired for a long time, stopped giving you attention and touching you. But you did the same.

When Jia came to the studio, flirting non stop, he just let her. He would mindlessly fuck her until you would give him attention again. But when the time came around and you did, he had grown tired of you, too.

He hated himself and he had projected it onto you until he hated you too.

You thanked Doyoung at the entrance to your apartment, watching him drive off with the taxi, before you entered the building. Unlocking the door, you walked inside, immediately aiming for the bedroom, just wanting to go to sleep.

You were shocked seeing Taeyong in your room, examining a picture of you two together. He turned around, looking at you. For the first time in weeks he looked as sad as you. As hurt as you.

“Y/n can we talk, please”, he asked gently, moving towards you.

“It’s too late, Taeyong.”

“I love you so much”, a tear rolled down his cheek.

“No, you don’t. If you love someone you don’t ignore them, or hurt them or cheat on them. You hate me Taeyong. And I don’t even know why”, your voice cracked before you could finish your sentence.

“No, y/n. I don’t hate you.” He stepped closer again, taking a hold of your hand. “I hated myself so much. I was so sick and tired of everything. I let it all out on you. And I’m honestly so sorry. I love you so much, please.”

You cried more, your heart hurting in your chest. His fingers stroked over the back of your hand, a feeling you had been longing for for such a long time.

“You cheated on me, Taeyong”, you whispered.

He nodded, pressing his lips together, to hold back tears. “I don’t have any feelings for her. Please, y/n. Believe me, please.”

“It hurts, Taeyong. I gave you my heart and you threw it away just like that.”

Taeyong’s other hand moved to cup your face, wiping away the tear that had left your eye. “I didn’t. My heart belongs to you, you’re the love of my life.” He paused, breath shaky. “I have no excuse. Cheating on you was wrong in so many ways. I started because I thought I would find my love for you again. But fuck, I realized it was never gone in the first place. I never want to hurt you again, y/n.”

You cried out one more time, before stepping forward and hugging Taeyong tightly. He immediately pulled you closer, rubbing your back and kissing your head.

“I love you so much”, he whispered over and over again.

After a while, you pulled away from him again, sniffling and wiping your tears away.

Taeyong was all you had and wanted, but his actions scarred you deeply. You looked up at him, pecking his lips softly. It was lovely moments like this you wanted to last forever.

And it was moments like this you wished you could turn back time, to make him stop hurting you. Taeyong was your world and all you ever wished for was to be his too.

But sometimes it’s not meant to be. You would find someone else, someone that would love and appreciate you, even if times were tough.

And maybe one day you’d be someone’s world. And maybe Taeyong would be someone else’s.

a/n: I rewrote this so many times lol I hope you enjoy it. It was my first attempt on smut so please bear with me. I’d also appreciate any feedback <3

[cinanamon]

lies against your lips ⁠— njm

pairing | jaemin x reader

genre | angst, suggestive, (slight) fluff, badboy!au, exes!au, high school!au

word count | 12.1K

synopsis | He was your ex. You broke it off a year before, and it didn’t end on a very good note. Now he seemed that he was ready to reintroduce himself into your life, but you weren’t going to let him in so easily again, not after what he put you through.

warnings | cursing, drinking, smoking, bad homelife, romanticization, mentions of cheating, possessiveness. do not accept this kind of behavior from anyone irl

The minute you turned off the car, all of the doors opened and the girls scrambled out with shouts of gratitude directed your way before the doors closed again. You rolled your eyes and waved them off as you picked up your bag and stepped out into the parking lot. The rising sun peeked at you over the roof of the school building, and you instantly winced as you dropped your head to avoid the bright glare. It was way too bright for the headache you were sporting right now, though it was nice of the sun to wish you a good morning.

You shut your car door with a thud and locked it before heading towards the front entrance. Teenagers mingled around you until you found yourself surrounded by groups on either side as you started down the hallway, and though your lips twitched downwards at the loud volume they conversed in, you made sure to smile at anyone who greeted you. Your surroundings seemed to blend much like your muddled thoughts as you finally made it to your first class, where you plopped down beside a boy named Jisung. 

You were a year older than him, but you had sat beside him since the beginning of the year, so you had never thought of or seen him differently compared to the others at your table. Apparently, Jisung was part of a group of troublemakers, but no matter how much you scrutinized him, you couldn’t imagine it. The boy had bright blue hair at the beginning of the year for Christ’s sake, and he looked more like a blueberry than some e-boy.

And with how he talked to you and even gushed about Animal Crossing once with bright eyes, you concluded that he was just a nice kid who might potentially hang out with bad influences, if the rumor was true. 

You leaned back with a sigh and settled your bag down beside your chair after pulling out your notebook. Eyeing the strawberry milk carton on his desk enviously, a snort jerks your gaze towards the boy. With his quirked brow and the smirk stretched across his lips, it’s obvious he caught your stare.

“Do you want one?”

You perked up instantly, your headache retreating slightly at the offer. “Do you have another?”

“Yeah,” Jisung began to rummage through his backpack, his hand resurfacing with another carton in its grasp, “Me and my friend went to the convenience store before school this morning, and I grabbed an extra.” He met your eye for a second as if to size you up teasingly. “You look like you need it more than me though.”

Your mouth twisted into a scowl but he must have known it was playful, for he laughed shortly and placed it on your desk. Your expression simmered into a smile and you punched his shoulder lightly. “Thank you, Jisung.” 

He smiled at you kindly and inclined his head—yeah, this kid was definitely too sweet to be a “bad boy”. 

Class started and even though the milk brightened your mood, it didn’t necessarily do much to keep you awake. The headache began to creep back behind your eyelids as you fought off the sleep from them, and when class finally ended, the bell seemed to increase the intensity of the ache in your skull. You began to pack up your things and with a grimace disguised as a smile, you waved off Jisung before heading to your next class. 

When that class ended and you found yourself with barely a page of notes due to your terrible headache still, you finally sent a subtle text to one of your friends you drove that morning that you needed an Ibuprofen stat, and to meet you in the stairwell off the English hall. 

As you left the classroom and started down the hall, you instinctively placed a hand against your temple to nurse the ache throbbing beneath it. With gritted teeth, you tried to ignore it as you stepped into the staircase alcove.

You swung yourself up onto the first couple steps without much of a thought, and you glanced down at your phone to check how much time you had left before the bell. Apparently someone else wasn’t looking where they were going either because you bumped into someone coming down and nearly dropped your phone. You caught it in a hurry and looked up to apologize before your voice died in your throat. 

It wasn’t so much someone not looking where they were going, but rather someone wanting you to bump into them.

And that person, my dear friend, was none other than Na fucking Jaemin. 

His eyes were widened in surprise, but the growing smirk on his face told you it wasn’t quite genuine. His hair was messy and his collar was askew, and the bags under his eyes gave away that he was a little worse for wear. Damn him, though, because he still managed to look hot. 

“(Y/n), it’s been a while; how are you?” 

And to think you thought your headache couldn’t get any worse.

“Fine.” You attempted a smile as you tried to dodge to the side, but he cut you off with a side step. 

“Not so fast,” he hummed, and you were wary of the pretty curvature of his lips as he looked at you, like he was a wolf and you were his prey. “I didn’t know you were back in town.” 

“Yeah, we moved back; my dad got re-transferred.” You bounced on the balls of your feet with a strained smile. “Well, I have to get to class! See you.” 

You went to hop onto the step around him but his hand reached out and clasped around your wrist. You stumbled at the sudden stop in your movements and after re-steadying yourself, you turned back to look at him with a disbelieving scoff. He must have recognized that look, the one you’d give before scolding him a year ago, but he only smirked at you. 

He shot you his signature grin as he let his grip slip further into the palm of your hand, a poor attempt at mimicking holding your hand. “We should catch up sometime soon, now that you’re back.”

For a moment, you were charmed by his smile like you were when you first started dating. He was still attractive, still captivating, and you found yourself beginning to agree to his proposal. He must have noticed the softening of your features for his smile spread wider, but the new angle showed off a splotchy purple hickey on his neck; he must have kept busy since you’ve been gone. 

All of his bad qualities came rushing back to you at the sight—the parties, the alcohol, the flirting—and suddenly his facade of charm fell away to reveal the devil beneath it, and your stomach lurched at the memory.

Your expression hardened and you snatched your hand back from him. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen,” He blinked in surprise at your sudden firmness, and his expression almost made you want to smirk. “I don’t really want to see you anymore than I have to.” And with that, you turned on your heel and continued up the stairs the rest of the way. 

You found your friend there with a raised brow and ibuprofen curled in his palm, and the sight of it alone brought the pounding in your head back to the forefront of your thoughts. “You are a lifesaver.”

“I know,” Hendery chuckled, but as you reached for the pill, he jokingly lifted it above your head.

You leveled him with a warning look. “Don’t you dare make me climb you to get to that.” He laughed but succumbed and lowered his hand for you to grab the medicine.

While you searched your bag for your water bottle, he placed his hands in his pockets and studied you, “Was that Jaemin you were talking to?”

“Yeah, it was. Just my luck, right?” 

He clicked his tongue, “So now he knows you’re back.” 

You looked at him pointedly before downing the pill. “I told him I didn’t want to deal with him again, though.”

His eyebrows shot up and his smile widened, “That’s what I’m talking about!”

You only shook your head as you fell into step with him, but you couldn’t stop a bright smile from crawling across your face. He was the only one who could always do that, and you guess you were pretty happy you were able to stick it to your ex. 

“By the way,” Hendery perked up as if remembering something, “There’s a party this weekend, if you’re down? I know you’re not a fan, so it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

That was true; you preferred mellow movie nights to big house parties, but you weren’t a stranger to a bottle of beer. You pursed your lips; you missed your junior year here so this was your last year to indulge and change things up.

“Why not?” With a tilt of your head, you grinned at him. Hendery seemed pleasantly surprised as he bumped your shoulder. 

“Who are you and what have you done with (Y/n)?”

You laughed. “She’s here, just new and improved.” He gave you a few more details, even as you came to your classroom doors and your teachers looked at you disapprovingly for pushing it to the bell. You waved him off and ducked into your own classroom with a puffed out chest and a spring in your step.

— — —

The weekend rolled by quicker than you expected with all of your projects and essays piling up by the minute, and you almost regretted agreeing to go to the house party. And though you feigned exasperation on the phone to Hendery, a nervous kind of excitement bubbled in your stomach at the thought of going. 

At your other school, you didn’t really get out much. You had a large presence in your home town, and so the idea of having to make new friends all over again sounded like a hassle, so you just focused on your grades. You were there for an education, after all. But now that you were back, you were eager to re-liven your old popularity and mingle with more people. You wanted to have fun, and if that meant sucking it up and heading to a potentially-unsafe-party, then so be it.

Hendery was adamant on driving you so you guys had an excuse to leave, and the seats soon filled up with your other friends, Xiaojun and Yeji, who made it easy for a smile to split your face and confidence begin to rise. Time slipped by quickly when you were with them, and so by the time you arrived, the party was in full swing.

You all climbed out of the car and their conversation was drowned out by your heartbeat as you approached the house. The first thing your friends wanted to do was dance, as so you entertained them by swinging your hips and bobbing your head for a bit. It wasn’t long before you grew tired though, and an itch settled in your throat. 

You tapped Xiaojun’s shoulder. “I’m going to go get a drink; do you want anything?” You had to semi-shout for the blonde to hear you over the music, but he only shook his head.

“No, I’m good! I think we’ll come and get drinks in a little bit too.” 

You nodded at him and ducked to the side. Your eyes ran over the room in search of the kitchen, and you awkwardly stepped down a few hallways before you found the right door. You had barely stepped in and placed a hand on the refrigerator’s door before you heard a voice behind you. 

“I thought you didn’t like to party anymore.”

You jumped and your hand slipped off the handle as you looked over your shoulder. Jaemin’s eyes met yours and he smirked as if that would prompt you to answer. You rolled your eyes but you weren’t going to let him ruin your mood; you’d be civil until he gave you a reason not to be. 

With a shrug, you turned around fully, a smile crossing your lips. 

“Well, I’m trying to change things up—get back into the party scene.”

He quirked a brow at your response, “Well the night’s not complete without a drink, right? Let me get you one.” Before you could shake your head and tell him that you’d really just prefer water, he was already making his way to the cooler and pulling out two bottles. He came back to you and pressed one of the cold beers into your hand. You pursed your lips in distaste as you studied its contents, and Jaemin snorted as he popped the lid and took a swig of his own.

“Don’t lie to me and tell me you don’t drink either.” 

“No,” You shot him a look before dropping your gaze to fiddle with the cap. “I just haven’t in a while.” 

You stared into the golden liquid before bringing it to your lips and taking a sip. As you retracted the bottle, Jaemin was leaning against the counter watching you with a corner of his lips raised. You swiped your sleeve against your mouth and furrowed your brows warily. “What?”

“Nothing,” he adjusted his posture and shrugged nonchalantly, “I just have a bit more respect for you now.”

Your eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You were such a prude when we were together; I mean, you hated even seeing me with a bottle.”

“That’s because we were sophomores—” The beginning of your rant was cut off when you noticed your friends paused in the corridor, their jaws dropped open. You wanted to roll your eyes to the high heavens as Yeji shot you a cheeky thumbs up. Jaemin glanced behind you at them when he noticed your exasperation, and he cleared his throat.

Jaemin pushed off from the counter in a fluid motion, his hand easily snatching up the beer as he straightened. “Do you want to go to the backyard?” You hummed questioningly, snapping your gaze back to him. He inclined his head towards the back of the house, “They’re having a little campfire—do you want to go sit down?”

Your friends became a distant thought as you found yourself nodding and almost subconsciously, his hand slipped into yours as he led you out. Old habits die hard, you guess. He reached his hand into a bowl of suckers on the way out, curiously, before pulling out one and stuffing it in his pocket. You watched your conjoined hands blankly as he slid open the door and brought you down the stairs, where you finally settled on a stone wall separating the firepit from the garden. 

You awkwardly set the beer bottle between your legs as you settled down beside Jaemin, who was unfurling the wrapper of the lollipop he snagged. The warmth of the fire curled around your legs even with the distance between you, and the heat climbed its way up your body. Jaemin was quiet as he watched the other partygoers, the lollipop bobbing side to side in his mouth. Looking at him now, you briefly wondered when the drinks in your hands had slowly changed from cherry iced colas to beer bottles, and the suckers in his hand became cigarettes.

He placed a hand on your thigh after a bit, and the heat from the fire took refuge under his palm as if his touch alone would burn through the skin; you jerked your leg away in shock, and you shot him a look out of the corner of your eye. 

He had yet to face you, and so you let your eyes wander over his features and settle on the lollipop stem. A lopsided smile crawled upon your lips.

“I haven’t seen you with one of those in a while.”

The sucker stopped moving in his mouth as his eyes snapped to yours. “What, do you want me to pull out a cigarette instead?”

“No!” He smirked good-naturally at your reaction and popped the sucker out of his mouth as he let his gaze fall back on the firepit. You tilted your head towards him curiously and kicked your legs back and forth against the wall. “Why are you so intent on talking to me again? If you’re anything like you were before I left, any of these girls are fair game.” 

Jaemin didn't reply right away; he pursed his lips and moved the sucker in a slow circle as he seemed to think, words beginning to form before he changed his mind. He placed the red lollipop back in his mouth. “They were never as good as you.”

You stared at him in surprise. What was that supposed to mean? As good of a kisser? As good of company? You darted your eyes over the way the light of the fire lit up his hair, reflected on the edges of his irises; why was he so damn unreadable? 

At a loss of what to say, you opted to bark out a laugh and shake your head. “Such honeyed words to win their hearts. Sometimes it's hard to remember even dating you.”

His lips twitched downwards and you almost missed his next words. “Oh I would disagree; I remember kissing you quite distinctly.” Jaemin glanced at you out of the corner of his vision, his eyes dragging along your jaw and over your lips until finally meeting your shocked gaze.

When you still sat in silence, his lips formed a light scowl that was quickly replaced by a confident, teasing smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I have something for you.”

Words crumbled on your tongue and you fought to say something about what he was saying before, but nothing came to mind and so your response was swept to the new topic at hand. “What?” 

Without another word, he removed the red lollipop from his mouth and slipped it through your own parted lips. 

Instantly, your eyes widened and you choked, your hand flying up to grab at the stem. An angry flush crossed your face, and you stared at him incredulously as you waited for some kind of explanation, but his eyes only glimmered. “You asshole!” 

He laughed brightly, as if pissing you off was the highlight of his day. He winked cheekily, “It’s cherry flavored. Good, right? Or maybe you like it because it tastes like me—?” You abruptly cut off his question by jumping off the top of the wall and throwing him the middle finger with a glare, your beer bottle long forgotten on his other side. 

He was still laughing as you stormed back into the party and found your friends. Hendery was the first to notice you and he raised his brow, “What happened to sticking it to your ex?” 

You glared at him but chose not to answer, “Are you guys ready to head out? It’s getting late.”

“Party pooper,” Yeji mumbled, and in normal circumstances, you wouldn't have repressed the urge to grin.

“Yeah we can head out,” Xiaojun replied, “Where’d you get the sucker, though? I didn’t see them anywhere.” 

You didn’t realize you still had in it your mouth, toying at it with your tongue. Hastily, you pulled it out and coughed. “Ah, there was a bowl in the kitchen. Let’s just go.” You looked for the nearest trash can and disposed of it on your way out, and you didn’t look twice as it sunk to the bottom.

— — —

When you walked into school that next week, you weren’t in a good mood. You weren’t hungover at all because you only drank a little at the party, but the person you were with still plagued your mind, leaving you frustrated because he was the last person you wanted to be thinking about. 

You made it to your science class and gratefully sunk into your seat. You placed down your things and shut your eyes, hoping to rest for a few moments before your teacher walked in.

“Jaemin, huh?”

Forget that idea. 

Your eyes snapped open and you whirled around with a stinky eye to find Jisung’s smirking face, but he took on a jokingly defensive stance at your sour look. “Yikes, did I hit a nerve?”

You watched him unpack his things for a few seconds, and if you were in a better mood, you would have laughed at the return of the strawberry milk on his desk. Finally, you sighed, because you could never be mad at your boyish seatmate. “What do you mean?”

Jisung met your eye and raised a brow; he must have thought you were joking. When he realized you were serious, he plopped down in his seat curiously. “People are saying you’re dating again.”

“Where’d they get that idea?” You gaped. “We ended on a terrible note; I’d never do that again.”

Jisung quirked a brow at you. “Mhmm, sure. From what I’ve heard, you guys got cozy at a party this weekend.”

You rolled your eyes, “Not like that; can people not be friends with their exes anymore?” His blank look seemed to tell you no, no that wasn’t possible but you just sighed. “Why do you care anyways?” 

“He’s one of my closest friends.” 

Your jaw dropped. “You have a shitty taste in friends.”

“Well what does that say about you, then?” He smirked at you and bumped your pencils, “Jaemin’s not all that bad, you know. He’s just...hard to figure out. He makes things harder for himself.” 

You wanted to snort and tell him that Jaemin was pretty bad from when you knew him, but Jisung wasn’t the type to lie to you, so you paused. Maybe Jaemin had changed since you’d been gone. 

“How so?”

But before Jisung could elaborate on Jaemin’s behavior (what you’re trying so damn hard to figure out), your teacher finally came in. He gave you an apologetic look but you just sighed as you opened your notebook. 

The next two classes went by without a hitch—boring and yet managed to distract you with algebraic expressions and essay topics. You knew life couldn’t be perfect though, and so you accepted what life threw at you when Jaemin came your way during lunch, a dashing grin on his lips. He sat down beside you at the table, and you cursed that the two girls you sat with normally were making up a test they missed in math when they went on a band trip.

“Hello, baby,” You almost gagged on your sandwich and pressed a hand to your chest when he leaned in to kiss your temple. You frowned, and it was a stark contrast from the object of your damnation, a boy beaming at you with perfect pearly whites. 

“Knock it off,” you grumbled, glancing around the lunchroom to see a few wandering eyes. You leveled a pointed look at him, “Come to apologize for this weekend?”

Jaemin stared at you for a moment as if to register what you meant before he burst into a brilliant grin. “About the sucker? Not at all; it was a good flavor.”

You scoffed,“Bastard.”

“You were always the sweetest to me,” his eyes crinkled as he pretended to sigh dreamily, and you felt the sudden urge to pick up your lunch and leave.

“What do you want, Jaemin?”

He dropped the facade and titled his head your way. You stiffened slightly when the angle revealed a few new hickies along his collar, but you didn’t think it was your place to point them out. “People are saying we’re dating.”

“I heard,” you rolled your eyes and took another bite of your sandwich. “I don’t know why people are thinking that from us sitting together once.”

“It could’ve been the sucker,” Jaemin pointed out, but at your unamused look, his grin became cat-like—devious, and almost too friendly—as he leaned forward so his face was inches from yours. You did not like this at all.  “Well you know me, I can’t keep secrets.”

Your hands froze around your meal as you slowly drew your eyes up to his. “You did not try and tell the school that we’re back together.” He shrugged smugly and you scoffed as you pushed away from the lunch table and began to pack up your lunch. “It’s not happening.”

“Why not?” He was already following your lead, only a few steps behind you as you began to walk out of the cafeteria. 

You looked back at him over your shoulder in disbelief. “Do you not remember why we broke up? I can’t stand you sometimes, and you can’t stand me.”

“I think we’ve been rather friendly so far,” he teased, and you gasped when you felt his hand slip into your back pocket. You whirled around and slapped his arm harshly so he’d retract it, but it did little to wipe the smirk off his face. You scowled. 

“Cheeky little shit.”

“Come on,” He whined until you finally paused in the empty hallway. “Don’t you want to give it another try?”

You wanted to tell him quite frankly that no, you didn’t want to even entertain the idea, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it because you weren’t sure if it was entirely true. You looked at him helplessly. “Why do you even want to?”

He blinked at you for a moment with parted lips, and your brows furrowed as you momentarily wondered if the question caught him off guard. He seemed to debate with himself before he quickly covered his second of pause by breaking into a charming leer. His expression simmered into one more serious as he brought his face close to yours, and his voice became softer, lower. “Because I miss the feeling of your lips on mine.” 

The inhale you took was sharp.

Jaemin has never been “trustworthy” by any standard definition; he’d broken countless girls’ and guys’ hearts, shared secrets that were meant to be kept in close confidence, brushed off warnings, and consistently left others hurt in his wake. So what’s to say that he was pulling your leg now? That he wasn’t serious, or that he’d turn around and cheat with some girl after he has you in his clutches again? You hesitated and searched his gaze for anything to grasp onto, but they were oddly guarded for someone who was usually so reckless.

“Y-you’re funny,” You scoffed, but your voice was strained, and you knew he knew it too. Quickly, you stepped out from under him, and it was as if a pressure lifted off your chest and you could breathe again. 

Jaemin had yet to move as you looked back at him. It seemed to prompt him to, and he straightened with a tight grin as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I am known for my humor,” he joked, but it fell flat between you two. You both just stared at each other, and you desperately tried to find something to fix the silence in the air, the uncomfortable feeling stirring in your gut as you watched his face, but he seemed to put back on the mask of a smile.

“Sorry to interrupt your lunch,” he tried again, his tone light. You waved him off; it wasn’t a big deal, and you didn’t think you could eat much more anyways. He nodded to himself and cleared his throat. “I’m supposed to be meeting with Jeno in a bit, but I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Yeah. See you, Jaemin,” And you watched him walk off, but you felt a frown still tug at your lips at his lonesome figure. 

— — —

You jolted awake at a loud sound. Your face contorted in confusion as you lifted your head, and you winced when you felt a kink in your neck. Bringing a hand up to massage the back of your head, you realized you had fallen asleep at your desk. You cursed yourself as you shuffled through the sheets but you pursed your lips at the math problems in front of you. The variables were beginning to become jumbled together where you hardly even knew what the equation wanted. With a heavy sigh, you dropped your head into your arms; maybe you could take a shower and come back to it, though internally you already knew that wouldn’t do much to make the problems make sense. 

Just as you went to stand up, the loud noise from earlier resounded outside your house: a honk.

Your body straightened in alarm and you looked towards the front of your house in confusion. Hesitantly, you stood and made your way to the window to peek out of the curtains.

You squinted past the headlights to try and see who would be honking at you at damn near 11 o’clock, but your eyes widened when you saw the culprit. You slipped the blinds shut and hurried to your front door before flinging it open. 

He parked the car but when he must have noticed you weren’t coming out right away, he stepped out. He was awkwardly shuffling his feet when you stepped onto the porch. “Jaemin?” 

He perked up and turned to you with a bright smile. “(Y/n)!”

“What are you doing here?” You approached him in disbelief as you looked between him and his car. He smirked at you and tapped the side of his nose. 

“I wanted to apologize for the other day by interrupting your lunch; I want to take you to a party.”

A laugh escaped your lips. “You’re joking, right? It’s a school night! I have so much homework and it’s so late already—”

“So you don’t want to go?” 

You stared at him and weighed your options. You really needed to do that schoolwork, but you were so frazzled that you’d probably sit in front of the equation for the same amount of time you’d be partying. “I didn’t say that...but I don’t know if my parents would even let me.”

“If we leave now, they won’t even realize you’re heading out.”

“I’m sure they heard you honk,” You rolled your eyes, but your mind was already made up. If you got in trouble when you returned home, then you got in trouble, whatever; hopefully they’d take it easy on you since you didn’t break any rules while at the other school. “Just let me change real quick.”

You rushed back inside and changed into more party-appropriate clothing. You wrote a little note for your parents and left it on your sheet of homework before heading back to the front door in hope that you wouldn’t run into them to stop you. 

When you came back out, he peered at you through the front window, as if to silently question when you were going to hop in. You hurried to the passenger side, but there was a noticeable pause as you hesitated on opening the door.

This is stupid, you thought. You shouldn’t get in the car with people you don’t know or trust anymore. But you found yourself grasping the handle anyways and smoothly sliding into his passenger seat.

His car smelled overwhelmingly like smoke. You instinctively wrinkled your nose at the intensity and glanced at the tree air freshener on his front mirror, but it must have been old because it did nothing to clear the air.

Jaemin cleared his throat and raised a brow at you as he shifted the car into gear. “You good?” 

With a nod, you willed yourself to relax into the leather of the seat. “Yeah, I’m fine.” You let your gaze wander over his features onto the rest of his car, which for the most part was actually rather clean. Your eyes traced along the center console and the dashboard, but they stopped short at the area by your feet, where several beer bottles laid scattered. 

You straightened in alarm and turned to him, your eyes wide and voice tense. “Do you drunk drive?” You remembered him being irresponsible and drinking, but drunk driving was serious and you were prepared to make him stop the car now and let you out. 

“No, I’m not an idiot. I only drink when I’m the passenger.”

Your shoulders unstiffened slightly but you scoffed, your teeth gritted together. “Don’t your parents—?”

“I live alone.”

You blinked, your expression falling. “...oh.” The car fell silent and though Jaemin didn’t seem bothered, you suddenly felt uncomfortable. When did he move out? Before you moved, he was still staying with them, you knew that. Did they kick him out? Hesitantly, you looked up at him, but then you prompted your lips shut; you weren’t his girlfriend anymore, so it wasn’t your place to ask. You bit the inside of your cheek and turned away. Propping your elbow on the windowsill, you dug the bottom portion of your face into your palm in hopes to ride out the rest of the drive with less awkwardness. 

“You look pretty,” he said to you after a moment. 

“Oh shut up,” But your tone held no wrath. You dropped your hand from your face and looked to the road ahead of you. “Where are we going anyways?”

Jaemin was surprisingly a very responsible driver, and he only spared you a second moments of eye contact with a shrug. “Yangyang is hosting a party tonight—I like to be at every one.” 

You didn’t reply but nodded slowly, and the rest of the drive was in comfortable silence. 

When you two finally pulled into the driveway, the first thing you heard was the loud music that drifted down the street and only grew louder at your approach. Now, as you unbuckled your seat belt and stepped out, it was deafening, and you felt bad for his neighbors. Maybe they’d call the cops on him, and then you would have an excuse to leave the party faster. But if there was alcohol involved, you didn’t want to risk getting grabbed by the cops, and so you uncomfortably cleared your throat and hoped tonight went well. 

Jaemin came around the side of his car and tilted his head at you questioningly, the lights of the front porch casting him in pretty shades of yellow that mimicked a halo. You resisted the urge to snort and quickened your pace to his side. 

Gingerly, he slipped an arm around your waist and you tensed. He glanced at you, a silent question of your comfort level. It was just a hand on your waist; it didn’t have to mean anything, and you guys were walking a thin wire between friends and exes, so this kind of contact was familiar to you. You cautiously met his eyes but gave a curt nod, and his hovering hand settled on your waist firmly. The two of you walked inside, and the minute you stepped through the threshold, you felt winded. 

There were way too many bodies for comfort, all pressed together as they danced sloppily to the latest rapper, stereotypical red cups in their hands that sloshed with each movement. It was a lot bigger and more imposing than the one you went to a few weeks ago. 

You subconsciously pressed yourself closer to Jaemin, which prompted him to look down at you with a quirk of his lip. Instantly, you created some distance between you again, at least as far as you could with his hand still perched on your side. 

The two of you hung out in the larger room for a little bit and drank from the solo cups, but after an hour or so, he pulled a lighter and cigarettes from his pocket. You stared at him wordlessly as he lit one and took a drag, blowing out the smoke into the crowd of teens around you. He must have noticed your grimace because he tilted his head your way, his fingers kneading at your waist. “What?”

You shook your head, “You’re going to smoke here? In this guy’s house?”

His brows furrowed, “Yeah? What, do you want me to go outside?”

“Yes; it’s common courtesy.”

He exhaled another puff of smoke but he looked over the heads of the crowd before tugging at your side, “Come on, then; I think I know a quieter area.”

You accepted and let him lead you out of the throng, but you didn’t expect him to bring you to the secluded backyard. It was quiet compared to inside, and no one mingled around the pool’s edge. There were fairy lights strung up across the overhang, and you couldn’t help but admire the way the lights danced upon the water. 

“Are we allowed to be back here?” You asked absently, but you knew you didn’t want to leave the back patio now. 

Jaemin slipped his hand from your side to your own palm, and he gently pulled you towards the pool with a shrug. “I don’t really know. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

He sat down on the rim on the shallow end, and he beckoned you to sit beside him. You placed your solo cup behind you before dipping your feet into the cool water, and a shiver traveled all of the way up your body. 

With a glance his way, you inquired, “can you put the cigarette out now?”

He met your gaze briefly, “Yeah,” He didn’t put up much of a fight against you like you thought he would; he simply pressed the lit end to the stone and left it by your drink.

With a stretch, Jaemin sighed from beside you and leaned back, and you felt one of his hands settle behind you when he slid them back to support his weight. You quickly lost yourself in the odd tranquility of the moment; the party’s music and laughter were muffled from where you sat, and you only heard the water lapping at your calves and the comforting sound of your ex’s soft breathing. You allowed yourself to close your eyes for a moment, to take in the mood of it, and you were more than thankful you let Jaemin drag you away from your homework.

“Do you want to go swimming?”

You cracked one eye open to give Jaemin a pointed look, but the mirroring of his smirk gave away your amusement. “We don’t have swimsuits.”

“Skinnydipping, then,” he shrugged and leaned his shoulder against yours, his bright eyes and warm skin leaving you dazed. “I haven’t seen you naked in a while.”

“Ever, actually,” you laughed and leaned up to push him away, and he nearly toppled into the water from the force of it. He pouted at you but then shook his head as he went to stand up.

“Suit yourself,” He stripped off his shirt and your mouth went dry as your eyes widened; you didn’t realize that your eyes were drinking in every groove on his torso until you shook yourself out of it. Momentarily, you panicked, thinking that he was actually going to fully strip to swim in the pool, which would not go over well at a stranger’s house at a packed party.

You calmed when he draped the shirt on the ground behind you and dug his belongings out of his pockets to place atop the article of clothing. He left his shoes and socks beside it until he was only left in his pants.

You stared at him in disbelief. “You’re crazy.”

He grinned flirtatiously and winked at you, “I would say spontaneous,” and then he launched himself at the deeper end before jumping in.

You found yourself gaping at the cannonball he took, the leftover splash of water and resounding waves the remnants of his zany actions. Your slack jaw morphed into a large, open smile and then you were laughing with unabashed glee as he resurfaced, slicking back his hair and wiping at his eyes. He took in your happy form and his eyes softened, but his smile widened as he swam towards you in the shallow end.

“Was it that funny?” He asked, the smile on his face still distinguishable as he shook out his hair like a dog. He came up to you and stood between your slightly spread legs, his arms landing on either side of your thighs to cage you in.

“It’s just so stupid,” you were calming down from your laughter as you tried to settle down enough to scold him for his boldness, but you found your grin faltering as you stared at him, only now noticing how close he was.

He was just as pretty as your surroundings. His smile was radiant, his eyes were crinkled, and water droplets were finding their way along the curve of his cheek, down the slant of his nose, the red ridge of his lips. As water settled on the parting of his mouth, you absently wondered if they were still as soft as they looked.

“If you wanted me to kiss you, you could’ve just asked.” 

Your eyes snapped up to his and you scoffed. “I don’t want to kiss you.” 

He raised a brow. “Then why were you looking at my lips?”

You opened your mouth to give him a fitting retort but no words came out. You met his eyes and they were serious this time, no trace of the humor you both were sporting only moments before. You swallowed harshly as he leaned in closer, his head subconsciously tilting to the side.

The feeling of his breath fanning over your face sent you back to the beginning of your relationship with him, when a genuine grin wasn’t hard to draw out of him, and his laugh was liquid sunlight to shine upon you and only you. Instinctively, your eyes began to flutter shut at the memory, the warmth of his lips that you cherished before he broke your heart. 

You tried to fight your eyelids, tried to keep your eyes trained on him, but his eyes were dark and you couldn’t read him, and you were left drowning, fighting his charm to stay afloat.

Your eyes only closed when his lips sealed over yours, and his hands came up to cup your face, leaving wet splotches in their wake. Your lips pressed against each other’s gently, and something in you wanted to scream, beg you not to give in like before, but it was overshadowed by the affection building in your heart as your fingers trailed over his ribs, the appreciation of the difference in his approach to you this time around.

You felt him begin to smile into the kiss as his hands tightened slightly over your jaw, and that same mirth from before began to bubble in your stomach as you parted. Both of you were breathing faintly in the silence of the patio, and his mouth trailed down to you neck, where he began to kiss and bite gently as you stared at the overhead fairy lights. You made a small sound that spurred him on to explore your collar with his lips until you drew his attention back to you with a steady hand under his jaw. Your breath hitched when you met his heated, dazzling gaze, and you stared at each other in mesmerized shock. 

It was him who made the first move after, breaking you both out of your trance. He barked a laugh, a bright, genuine smile crossing his lips as he stepped back, his hands sliding off your face to grace over the pool’s surface. You sat watching him as he climbed the pool’s steps and stepped back onto the stones.

“Are...are you cold?” You managed to ask around the shock still rendering your vocal cords unusable. Water was still clinging to his skin, his eyelashes, his pants, as he reached down and pulled back on his shirt. It clung to his chest as he shook his head. 

“A bit but nothing bad,” he stuffed his socks and shoes back on and returned his belongings to his pockets before reaching a hand out towards you. “Are you ready to go?”

You had almost forgotten you weren’t alone in the house, and that just inside there were groups of people dancing and mingling. The longer you thought about it, the more you realized you didn’t want to join them again. “Yeah,” you said and placed your hand in his, letting him pull you up and back under his arm.

He steered you around the house this time instead of re-entering, and you climbed back into his car as he turned it on and pulled out of the driveway.

He gave you another brief kiss when he dropped you off at your house, and though your parents laid into you about sneaking out so late at night, their words did nothing to make you feel regretful. For the only thing on your mind as their words muddled into the background was the lingering feeling of Jaemin’s lips on your own.

— — —

Your parents had not been happy about your rendezvous with Jaemin, and so you had been grounded for two weeks from hanging with friends or going out. Though it had been boring, you had still enjoyed talking with them in school, and especially your interactions with Jaemin.

Neither of you had brought up the kiss, but it was evidently on both of your minds. You did not dare say you were exclusive again in fear that it’d all go wrong again, that your past would haunt you and ruin whatever it was stirring between you. Both of you would flirt and laugh together, but underneath it all, something was aching in your chest, but you squashed the fear and dread down everytime. You would cross that bridge when this lull couldn’t last any longer. 

Your parents only relented on your sentence of being grounded when Hendery begged that you hang out after two weeks. Thankfully, he always had a good reputation from your parents perspective; they couldn’t say no to him, and they thought he’d be a good influence for you. Or, better, anyways, since they didn’t know he was bringing you to another party that night. 

You both chuckled to yourselves when you slid into his car, but waved politely at your parents so they wouldn’t suspect anything was amiss. 

“I can’t believe you convinced them”

He snorted, “I’m always my friends’ parents’ favorite. You just have to know how to be friendly and mature.” 

You flicked his forehead as he began driving down the street and he gasped. “Hey, I’m driving! Stop being jealous.” You laughed at him but relaxed back into your seat with a hum. He looked at you out of the corner of her eye.

“So are you back with Jaemin?”

Your humming faltered as you looked to him but cleared your throat. “Not necessarily.”

Hendery scoffed, “Mm sure; you haven’t stopped smiling when thinking about him,” he went to face you but then the stoplight turned green and he was forced to stay focused on the road. “Yeji said she hasn’t seen him with any other girls since you came back.”

“He had hickies on his neck for the first bit. New ones,” You didn’t say it crossly; it was simply fact, and you weren’t necessarily in the situation to be jealous.

“Well I mean messing around, kissing, whatever. He hasn’t been doing it for almost three weeks.”

“Wow, what a record.” 

He sighed exasperatedly and gave you a brief stink eye, “Shut up. We think he’s actually trying to be serious this time.”

You pursed your lip but didn’t say anything, and so the conversation fell into a lull of comfortable silence. You didn’t know if hearing his attempts to be serious made you happy or anxious. Even if he was serious about trying to make it work with you again, what’s to say he wouldn’t fall right back into his old habits? Cheating, smoking, drinking—they were still major threats to the line you were walking with him now.

You pushed it to the back of your head as you arrived at the party. Hendery and you walked into the party and before you could follow him to your other friends, you saw Jaemin with some guys and he was already looking your way. Instantly, you perked up, and Hendery rolled his eyes, waving you off. You gave him a thankful look as you split off towards him, and the smile spreading across your face was subconscious.

Jaemin was glaring over your head but when you reached him, he tore his gaze away to grin at you. “(Y/n), babe, hey!” He slid an arm around your waist and drew you forward to stand beside him, and that’s when you took notice of who you were around.

Jeno offered you a kind smile that morphed his eyes into pretty crescent moons, and his arm was draped over the shoulders of his girlfriend (of a year, you think; you can’t remember the details) who took refuge in his warmth, but her smile was just as gentle. Renjun was beside them but you were surprised to see more piercings lining his ears and the tips of his hair to be dyed pink, but he gave you a brief smile and nod before reverting back to his colder countenance. 

You knew these guys; you were friends with them when you dated Jaemin the first two years of high school, and you heart squeezed knowing that they seemed to remember you. You lifted your hand in a wave. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey, (y/n); we haven’t seen you in awhile! We didn’t know you were back until Jaemin told us.”

You glanced at the boy in question, but nothing on his face gave him away. You slid your gaze back to Jeno, “Yeah, I was trying to keep it on the low.” So Jaemin didn’t know, but you didn’t need to tell them that since that thought was thrown out of the window by now. 

“By the way, Jaemin, can you drive me home tonight?”

Jaemin’s arm tightened around you, “Of course, whatever you need.”

You smiled and turned back to face the group before you perked up. “Oh!” You turned back to Jaemin and poked at his chest, “you didn’t tell me you were friends with Jisung.”

“You know him?” His brows furrowed but he laughed lightly. “Yeah, nice little sport.” You saw Renjun’s and Jeno’s eyes flicker up warningly at Jaemin, as if to watch out for anything he’d say and you hesitantly went for a smile before directing your voice to Renjun, “why isn’t he here?”

Renjun’s eyes flitted to you. “We’re trying to keep him out of,” he shrugged his shoulders vaguely but they seemed to gesture to Jaemin and the party around you. “bad influences.” 

Your lips formed a wary ‘o’ but Jeno rushed to fix the tenseness of the situation. “He’s hanging with a different friend right now. Have you met a boy named Chenle?”

“Ah, no, I don’t think so.”

Jeno nodded but his smile came more easily now. “Yeah, he just moved here. Jisung’s been trying to make him feel comfortable.”

 You couldn’t help but grin at that. You almost opened your mouth to ask about Hyuck, but you quickly bit the question back. You knew the answer to that, and you didn’t want to ruin the mood. Instead, you grinned. “That’s good.”

Conversation flowed between you all for a bit then, possibly an hour or so until you noticed Jaemin’s and Renjun’s empty bottles. 

“Do you guys want another drink?” 

Renjun shook his head side to side and placed the bottle down on the table, but Jaemin smiled at you. “Yes, actually; thank you, baby.” He leaned up and kissed your cheek and you felt yourself flush at Renjun’s and Jeno’s stare. You weren’t sure if you wanted them knowing that you and Jaemin were getting that familiar again.

You cleared your throat and stood up quickly. “Well, I’ll get on that. Be right back.” And you hurried to the kitchen.

It was a different home from the other two, but you were getting used to how people congregated in different rooms, so it didn’t take you as long to find. You had grabbed two beers but before you spun and left the kitchen, there was a nudge on your arm.

You turned questionly until you met Hendery’s eye, Yeji slung over his shoulder, half unconscious. 

“Oh my God, is she okay?” You gasped, reaching a hand out to brush over her shoulder.

Hendery sighed irritatedly as Xiaojun came up behind him. “Yeah she got into a drinking contest and threw up before passing out. We’re going to head out; are you coming?”

You hesitated, “I actually asked Jaemin if he was okay taking me home. Will you be okay taking her home?” 

Hendery sighed but nodded as he readjusted Yeji on his side. “No, it’s fine; I just don’t know how I’m going to explain this to her mom.”

You winced, “I wish you luck.”

Hendery handed Yeji off to Xiaojun, and he began to tell Xiaojun to drive Yeji’s car behind his so after they drop her off, he could take Xiaojun home. Xiaojun agreed and began to head out of the house, but before you could wonder why Hendery wasn’t following, he turned to you. “Do you know what her purse looks like or something? She doesn’t have her phone or keys.”

“Oh! Uh, I think it’s purple? I can help you look.” You placed the two bottles back on the counter and started for the hall. 

“That’d be great, thank you.” 

You both filed back out into the living room and began to search around the couches and dining table. Him and you were lifting your heads from looking under a chair when Jaemin was suddenly at your side with a stormy expression, his eyes darker than a rain cloud and jaw taut. Neither of you had no time to greet him before Jaemin’s hand clasped around yours tightly and he was tugging you towards him. “Excuse me,” He said, and then he slammed his lips against yours.

You made a muffled sound of shock, your eyes still wide. This kiss was unforgiving, unlike the kiss by the pool. That one was gentle, whereas this one was brutal, bruising; in this kiss, he was pouring forth anger and possession over you, he was claiming your lips as his. You didn’t even get a chance to kiss back (though you were unsure if you wanted to) before he separated and yanked you after him as he exited the house party, partygoers’ eyes on you. You stumbled down the front steps after him, watching his back in shock before you finally processed the situation and tore your hand from his. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” The words tumbled from your mouth before you’d even thought about them, but they were the perfect mixture of what you were feeling right then. 

Jaemin’s eyes were narrowed as he drew them back to you, and it shocked you how tense he was, all former relaxation gone from his muscles. “What the fuck is wrong with me? He was getting too close to you; I was getting bad vibes.”

Your brows shot up. “That was Hendery! He’s my friend; even before I moved!” 

He stuck his tongue against the inside of his cheek, but the anger in his disposition was still present. “Doesn’t mean he couldn’t have changed.” 

“Have you?” 

He looked at you, his brows unfurrowing for a moment but then he was looking away again, steaming in his anger silently, potentially to not say anything he’d regret. “He could’ve done something to you.”

“But he didn’t, and he wouldn’t. You had no right to step in like that, to do that in front of everyone when—“ You grasped for the words as you began to shake with anger, your hands trembling. “We’re not dating, Jaemin. So don’t act like we are.” 

He pursed his lips and jaw locked, his hands coming up to grasp at his jaw, rub at his collar, like there was nowhere safe to rest. “That’s not what I’m talking about, I’m saying that he could have touched you when you didn’t want him to—“

“You just kissed me when I didn’t want you to!” You hissed at him in disbelief. With a growl of frustration, you ran a hand through your hair before gesturing towards him. “This is exactly why we didn’t work out! Because you’re so fucking possessive!”

His eyes flashed. “That is not why we broke up!”

“Oh, then what was it?” You snarled. “Was it because you were flirting with other girls? That you were being unfaithful while restricting me, that you went out drinking and smoking when you were only sixteen—“ 

“Shut up!” He shouted at you. “Shut up!” 

“Am I striking a nerve?” You jeered. “I told you this is what was going to happen! Do you still want to try again? Do you really want screaming matches every fucking week again?”

“You’re the only who started this fight,” He was shaking, eyes on the ground but you knew they had to be on fire, and if he lifted his gaze to yours, you would surely be burned. “We don’t have to be fighting like we did before.”

“But we will because you haven’t changed!” You stared at him helplessly, pointedly, your arms spread to each side. “You’re still the guy you were before I left! It’s just been so long that I fell for that exact same charm that reeled me in the first time.”

“You haven’t been around long enough to know if I’m changed or not!” he seethed. Jaemin finally looked up and his eyes were ferocious like you thought they’d be, but his expression was pained. “You’re so fucking afraid it will be the same that you’re not even looking at me!”

You blinked at him wordlessly. Are you the one afraid? Are you the one reading this wrong? You gritted your teeth; you didn’t have the patience to doubt yourself now, and if you gave in now then he’d always get his way.

“Oh, so you’re going to tell me that that kiss wasn’t because of jealousy then?” You snapped. You glared at him, waiting for him to argue, to prove his point but he didn’t; Jaemin only met your gaze evenly, his jaw raised and fists clenched. You crossed your arms. “Get out of here, Jaemin. I’m not getting in the car with you.”

He didn’t push you; he didn’t yell at you, he didn’t come near you to lift you up and force you. Jaemin simply kept his eyes trained on you for a moment longer before turning on his heel and briskly walking to his car. The door opening and slamming shut was resoundly loud in the sudden silence of your yelling match, and you watched him pull out of the driveway alone. 

You stayed there for another minute, letting everything you both said sink in and it wasn’t till then that you realized you were still shaking, from anger or sobs you didn’t know. You tried to breath in the fresh air to steady yourself before going back inside.

You went to say goodbye to Hendery, but you shot down any attempt he made to give you comfort or get you to speak. He seemed at a loss, but he respected you and headed out the door to drive Yeji home.

You hurried back to Jeno and Renjun to gather your purse in hopes that you could duck out quickly, but Jeno placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Where’s Jaemin? Where are you going?”

You didn’t look at him as you replied, “He left.” 

“Without you?” He drew in his brows and looked back at Renjun. “Who’s taking you home?”

“I’m walking.”

“No you’re not; we can drive you.” Jeno didn’t remove his hand from your arm as he nodded at his girlfriend. “We don’t mind.” 

You hesitated before giving in. You didn’t want to bother him, and quite frankly you wanted to be alone, but you knew it wasn’t safe this late. All of you said goodbye to Renjun before you followed them out of the house, and you sat in the backseat as he began to pull away. 

It was silent for a long time before Jeno spoke up. “I’m sorry.”

You peeked up at him. “For what?”

“For Jaemin,” he turned the wheel and glanced back at you. “That he’s struggling to change.”

You snorted and looked out the window. “He hasn’t changed.”

“He’s trying,” Jeno’s confident tone made you stiffen and you looked back up towards the front of the car at him. He met your eye through the rearview mirror. “He is, I’m not lying to you.”

“I know, Jeno,” The words came out in a sigh as you dropped your head in your lap. Jeno had always been consistent, honest, reliable; he would never tell you this if he didn’t believe in Jaemin. Your fingers trembled against your purse. “I just wish you were.”

— — —

You didn’t go to another party after the fight with Jaemin. Your friends tried to convince you, giving you unamused looks when you gave an excuse or waved them off, but ultimately they stopped offering. You smiled at Jeno and Renjun and Jisung, but you avoided Jaemin again; you couldn’t bear to look him in the eye.

You tried to tell yourself he didn’t deserve to hear from you anymore if he was just like before, that it was for your own best interest to drop him. He made no attempts either; he didn’t look at you in the hall or try to sling an arm over your shoulder to joke with you. You scolded yourself every time you wished he would.

To occupy your mind, you tried to invest yourself more into your schoolwork as weeks passed by, and things seemed to go back to normal—at least, for you.

Jaemin has gotten worse. You had tried to ignore it, but you couldn’t help but take notice of the bags under his eyes, the underlying smirk on his features that wasn’t genuine. Some days he’d show up with lovebites all over him, other times he reeks of smoke, and sometimes he didn’t show at all. 

You were worried. You knew Jeno and Renjun were too; their frowns were evident as their eyes followed him and then slid to you, a silent plea of you to see what your absence was doing. 

But he wasn’t your responsibility. He hurt you twice, he wasn’t a good influence, and you’d probably forget about him once you went off to college. 

But after a few more weeks and he only looked worse, you couldn’t take it anymore. You approached Jeno after class and didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared at him pointedly with a clenched jaw, and then he was writing down Jaemin’s address on a slip of paper and handing it to you.

And when you drove up to the apartment complex that night, you still weren’t quite sure what you were doing. You parked your car and started going up the outdoor stairs in a daze, the cold air of dusk nipping at your forearms. What were you going to say? Did you even want to see him? Did he want to see you? 

You paused on the top of the stairs of his floor. It was like a cement motel, just a little cleaner. If he had moved out on his own, he probably couldn’t afford much better. Your heart clenched at the thought. 

With bated breath, you stopped before his door. You were here; you couldn’t go home now without at least knocking. You raised your hand and rapped at the wood lightly.

There was a brief commotion of the other side and muffled shouts before you heard footsteps approach the door. 

“Jeno, I don’t want to go out tonight; go away.”

You felt winded hearing his voice after so long. It was hoarse, scratchy, and he sounded tired and irritated, which was a large contrast to when he hung with you.

You cleared your throat. “It’s not—it’s not Jeno.”

It was silent on the other side of the door. The longer the quiet stretched out the more you thought he didn’t hear you and you might as well head home before the door opened. 

His hair was a mess as if he just woke up, and his eyes were dull. His clothes were a mess and dangling from his hand was a lit cigarette. When you drew your gaze back up to his face, a trail of smoke puffed from his mouth as he stared at you. 

“(Y/n).”

You tried not to let your face twist in disgust as the smoke blew towards your face. “Jaemin.”

You both awkwardly stood there taking in each other’s appearances before you heard a familiar voice shout in a slurred voice, “Jaemin, where are the other bottles?”

Jaemin grimaced but turned away from you enough to shout back into the apartment, “You've drunk enough tonight; I’m not letting you into my stash.” He faced you again and he seemed uncomfortable under your cautious gaze as he took another drag of his cigarette.

“Is—is that Donghyuck?” Jaemin hesitantly nodded and breathed out the smoke again.

“Yeah, he’s—he’s spending the night. He crashes here often.” You peeked over his shoulder at Donghyuck, curled up on the couch with beer bottles littering the coffee table as he mumbled to himself; hopefully they just didn’t clean often, and all of those bottles weren’t from today only. 

You felt something twinge in your chest seeing the former class clown so...dreary, pulled down so far from happiness. You may have been gone for a year but gossip always traveled fast when Jaemin was around, so you had heard about Mark and his girlfriend and the betrayal that broke the honey-skinned boy the year before.

 You frowned but looked back up at Jaemin. “Are you letting him drown himself in alcohol?”

“What else could he do to get his mind off of it?”

Your frown only deepened. “You’re feeding an addiction—has he been like this since it happened?”

“You’re not a doctor,” Jaemin scowled, his grip on his cigarette tightening. “What’s it matter if he wants to drink to forget? I’ve done it plenty of times.”

“And look where that’s gotten you,” You knew you shouldn’t have said it as soon as the words slipped out. His eyes widened before they narrowed to two slits. “Jaemin, I—I didn’t mean to say that.”

“No, I think you made yourself very clear,” he spat. “If you’re only here to criticize me then politely fuck off.”

“Jaemin—“ but the door was suddenly slammed in your face. You stared at the grooves in the wood in shock before groaning in regret. You turned around and pursed your lips as you studied the concrete floor. With a sigh, you took a few lazy steps to the stairs before sitting on one and leaning your elbows on your knees so you could plant your chin in your palms. 

You looked up at the sky glumly, conflicted. The moon shone back down at you, as if to comfort you but remind you that it couldn’t help you solve your problems. You shook your head and let your gaze wander over the dark blanket of the night taking over the leftover bits of day, the purple mixing with the blue to create a beautiful array of colors too dark to be sunset anymore.

A door creaked open behind you but you didn’t look back; it would be awkward to lock eyes with another resident who would only see you as some strange girl sitting on the steps outside their home. You winced; maybe you really should head home soon. 

You didn’t have much time to contemplate it before you felt a heavy weight fall over your shoulders and movement to your left. Your hands instinctively flew up to catch at the fabric of a coat around your back, and when you looked to your side, your eyes widened to find Jaemin settling down beside you, a cigarette still perched precariously between two of his fingers. 

He didn’t attempt to make conversation at first as you watched him, he only tried to become comfortable by leaning his back against the step behind you and stretching his legs down over the steps below. He took a gentle inhale of the killing machine in his hand before he exhaled and put it out against the cement of the stair. 

It was oddly comforting sitting beside him outside his apartment, his coat around your shoulders and his face contemplative. Finally, he spoke up, his tone mellow. “I was trying to change.”

You looked away from him, your eyes settling on the moon. “I know.”

He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye before giving a heavy sigh, one that seemed to release all of the tension in his limbs. “I was chasing a high for a long time. I hit low after low and after messing up so terribly with you…” you met his eye briefly to study him, but he only chuckled at himself. “When you came back I thought that maybe I could be happy again, that I could make up for it. I can’t even do that right.”

You were quiet for a while, but he didn’t seem to mind as he let his eyes wander over the sky; he seemed entirely at peace in the night, the moon and low-quality light fixtures with moths flying about them the only source of light to encase him. Your voice was low when you responded, “Why weren’t you just honest with me?”

He guffawed at that, looking at you with a relaxed disposition but raised brow. “You kept rejecting me, what did you expect?” You bit your lip at the meaning of those words, but he continued as if he didn’t notice, “It’s hard to be honest when you didn’t want to hear the truth.”

“I didn’t,” you admitted. You turned to face him again, and you made a promise to yourself that you wouldn’t look away from him now, so he’d know you were honest and listening. He watched you wordlessly. “I didn’t want to be open to the idea that things could be different. I’m sorry.” 

He raised a hand and graced it over your cheek, gently grasping your jaw in his palm as he looked in your eyes for any discomfort, any lies, any sign for him to pull away and go inside and forget you came tonight. 

He found nothing.

“I’m going to change. You know that, right?” He stroked your cheek and tilted his head, drawing his face closer to yours. 

You found yourself nuzzling into his palm as you nodded. “I know.” I’m not scared that you won’t anymore. The discarded cigarette on the stair behind you seemed to stand as a reminder of his oath as he lifted his other hand to cup the back of your neck and pull you closer. Right before your lips connected, you brought a hand up to block his mouth. “No more being jealous, okay? No cheating, no heavy drinking, and no more smoking.” 

Though you couldn’t see the lower half of his face, his eyes crinkled like they did when he smiled. “I promise.” With a nod, you lowered your hand, and your breath hitched as your lips connected.

Your lips moved together unhurriedly, almost leisurely. You found yourself growing lost in him, the smoke on his tongue and interwoven into his scent, and you subconsciously drew him closer to you by the collar, to minimize any distance left. When you pulled away, you didn’t feel overwhelming passion or affection, but that was the beauty of it; the kiss felt commonplace, and it felt familiar. It didn’t feel like it had to mean anything, and that’s what made it matter to you.

You slid your head down onto his shoulder without even meeting his eye, and his hand came down to rest around your waist and pull you closer. Both of you gazed up at the night sky and basked in each other’s company, and the crisp air felt refreshing in your lungs as you interlocked your fingers with his. 

[igotyouniverse]

Higher

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Reader

Request: henlo I know I already requested something, but can I please get drabble prompt no 7 with hyunjin from stray kids, either like rivals to lovers or maybe secret crush. And make it SOFT please. fast forward 15 minutes` → make it ;) now.

Prompt: “That's the eggnog speaking.”

Genre: rivals to lovers, non idol au, fluff ending, suggestive.

/Lots of bickering and oppressed feelings and ;) tension, friends trying to hook you up with Hyunjin, who you’re totally not interested in.

Warnings: light swearing, alcohol, suggestive(!!), make-out

words: 2.7k

Part of my Seasonal Requests Special - Winter Edition.

a/n: This was so much fun to write. Oh and it's a full-blown scenario. Whoops. This was requested by my best friend: @ithilinne Honestly I hope you find it as funny as I do, lol. ❄️❤️❄️❤️I enjoy writing bickering so much, it's fun! Plus, dude. Hyunjin. Do I need to say more? I hope you like it !❤️

❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄

“I'm totally getting drunk tonight.” you exclaimed in annoyance, helping Felix to put some snacks on the table. “Mind telling me why?”, your friend asked grabbing some of the alcohol bottles he had in his cupboards, to place them near the snacks. “Dude, I'm studying like crazy. My life's basically books.”, you groaned, while placing down cups, “but apparently I'm not good enough to get in the top rankings. But guess who is? Hyunjin. Again!”, frustration swang in your voice, as you spoke about your long-time rival.  

“He's not even studying!”, you added, throwing your arms in the air. Felix chuckled next to you, a grin gracing his face. “You really need to let off some steam.”, he said, making you roll your eyes at him. “I don't have time for such distraction.”, you hissed and looked at the clock, pretty sure that your friends will arrive soon to your small gathering.  

“I don't even get why you're so annoyed by Hyunjin. We're in the same group of friends after all. And I honestly think you two would hit it off-”, you stopped Felix in his sentence, putting a hand on his mouth to keep it silent for a second.  

“He annoys me because he doesn't study and is still beating me in every single seminar. That's fucking unfair. Plus, he is arrogant and annoying.”, you muttered, a sigh leaving your lips as you waited for the doorbell to finally ring. If you were being totally honest, you weren't even sure why exactly Hyunjin was taking your last nerve. Maybe it was the way he always grinned at you in that stupid cheeky way whenever you had to take an exam. Or maybe how he always asked about the rankings in the group chat – even though he were perfectly aware of the fact that he was better than you. Every. Single. Time. But maybe it was how he always tried to tease you every chance he got. And maybe – just maybe, because he was ridiculously good-looking for being such a pain in the ass.

When the doorbell finally rang you rushed out of the kitchen, hearing Felix laugh behind you. The first person who greeted you was your best friend, two bottles of eggnog in her arms. “Damn, you do know what I need.”, you chuckled as you hugged her. “I always do, love.”, she winked and pecked your cheek before disappearing in the kitchen, greeting Felix. The rest of the group just walked in after her, greeting you with hugs and even more booze. Last but not least, Hyunjin entered the door and grinned at you. “Just saw the new rankings.”, he clicked his tongue, sighing at you while walking past you, “I'm still at number one.”, he whispered into your ear, before entering the kitchen as well, leaving you behind. Ass.

You felt Felix's eyes on you as soon as you entered the kitchen as he handed you a glass of eggnog. “Exactly what I need.”, you mumbled and took the cup, taking big sips, enjoying the sweet flavour on your tongue.

“I honestly thought I might fail that one sociology exam. I swear, I didn't study a bit.”, you heard Hyunjin brag to Minho but you clearly saw how he looked at you with that stupid grin on his stupidly beautiful lips. “Yeah, right.”, you snorted before rolling your eyes at him, taking another sip from your drink, trying to keep you sane. “I'm sure you'll be better than me the next time.”, he said, shrugging his shoulders before chuckling.  

“You know what's better than sex?”, your best friend whispered in your ear, making you jump slightly as you didn't even hear her appearing next to you. “Angry sex. Letting off some steam, you know.”, she added, wiggling her brows at you. You rolled your eyes as hard as humanly possible and grabbed a second cup full of eggnog after already finishing the first one.  

Your eyes wandered over to Hyunjin, who casually leaned against the wall, talking to Minho and Felix. He wore his longer blonde hair in  a loose ponytail, messy strands of hair falling down on his shoulders in soft waves. You let your gaze continue to wander over his figure, how his black leather pants hugged his figure and how his fitted shirt showed off his upper body. “I'm telling you.”, your friend whispered still right by your side, obviously following your gaze, “If I were single, you know.”, you freed your gaze from Hyunjin's figure and looked at her brown eyes, which winked at you. “God, stop it. He's arrogant and annoying.”, you sighed, before biting your tongue. You looked up for a second, just to meet Hyunjin's gaze, which nonchalantly eyed you just the way you did with him, before a mild grin appeared on his face and he looked back to his friends. Damn it.  

An hour later you were peacefully munching on some crackers your friend  handed you between your cups of eggnog. “Oh wow, I see an empty cup and that's a crime!”, you heard Felix say, dramatically putting his hand on his heart to show his shock. “I already had-”, you started your sentence, but Felix interrupted you, “Nonsense! You need more!”, and before you could protest he filled your cup and chuckled as soon as you took your first sip.

You started to feel the warmth inside of you, leaving you all fuzzy. For a moment you felt like your mind wasn't about studying and grades, which you enjoyed to the fullest. You let your eyes wander through the room, watching how your friend was nuzzled against Chan's arm, while talking to him and how Minho tried to play Jenga against Changbin but lost for the third time in a row, which let the boys around them laugh out loudly. You chuckled, watching how he pouted and said that Changbin was probably cheating or else he wouldn't be able to win. Your eyes searched for Felix and maybe even for Hyunjin - which you would obviously never admit in a sober state of mind, but you couldn't see either of them.  

As your bladder was filled with alcohol you naturally needed to go to the bathroom for a moment. Staying in front of the sink you checked your Make-Up you put on fro the night, after washing your hands. You slowly turned your face from side to side, checking if everything was still set and looking okay-ish. You left the bathroom with a small smile on your lips, heading through the floor until you suddenly had to stop in your tracks as Hyunjin nearly ran into you.  

“Oh sorry, didn't see you there.”, he said with a small chuckle. You rolled your eyes. “Yeah.”

“You look really pretty tonight.”, you heard him say and for a second you thought you lost your ability to breath. ´”What?”, you asked furrowing your brows. “I said, that you look really pretty tonight.”, he repeated calmly.  

“So I'm usually ugly?”, you snorted back at him.  

“No. You actually look pretty every day but especially tonight.”, he answered, scratching the back of his head.  

“Yeah, stop making fun of me, idiot.”, you rolled your eyes, wanting to go back to the others but your legs just didn't want to move.  

“I'm not making fun of you-”, he started.

“Seriously, shut up, Hyunjin.”, you interrupted his sentence, “Honestly, you're an arrogant and annoying ass.”, you snorted, feeling how the booze in your system made you feel way more confident than you used to be.

“What annoys you about me?”, he asked you while moving a step closer to you.

“Everything. Your teasing and always being better than me, without actually studying.”, you started but you felt how your voice got just a tad shakier when you felt him shifting in front of you.  

“Honestly, it's unfair. Would be easier you if you weren't that hot.”, you said before even realizing what words left your mouth. The alcohol in your system not even letting you feel ashamed over what you said.

Hyunjin chuckled in front of you. “Did you just call me hot?”, he asked but you shook your head.  

“Nope. That's the eggnog speaking. Not me.”, you laughed and tried to focus your eyes on anything else beside his body who was moving dangerously close to yours.

“Ah, bummer.”, he sighed in front of you, “would be great if it were you speaking.”, he added and a small smile graced his lips.  

“Why?”, you asked, your eyes finally able to actually look at his.  

“Well, because I wouldn't feel stupid for saying that I actually think you're attractive, too.”, he chuckled once more.  

“What?” you asked, completely dumbfounded, not quite sure if you're brain was even able to process this conversation.

“Jeez, I'm kinda confessing here. Would you mind meeting me halfway here?”, he sighed. At first you were annoyed but as soon as you saw his lips turn into a small smile you just blinked at him, realizing that he maybe wasn't even making fun of you at all.  

“Hyunjin.”, you said slowly, “You're annoying. And arrogant.”, you said, replying what just came out of your mouth minutes ago.  

“Yeah, you already said that. Thank you, by the way. It's not like I was complimenting you or anything.”, he responded.

“Annoying. Arrogant. Stupid.”, you whispered, while staring at Hyunjins face, your eyes wandering over every of his features. His deep brown eyes, with that small mole under his left one.

His small nose and those perfectly shaped, stupid lips on which your gaze rested for a couple seconds. You secretly wondered how they would actually feel on yours. You wanted to know how the fabric of his shirt felt under your hands and his bare skin under your fingertips. You needed to know how it felt like, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him towards you and how it would feel to have his slender hands on your body.  

“I'm curious.”, you whispered as you moved closer to him until you could feel his breath on you cheek. Your eyes wandered back to his, which were locked on you. You felt how one of his hands cupped your cheek, his thumb softly running over your bottom lip, leaving you with goosebumps. Your breath quickened, when you let your hand rest on his chest, feeling his heart beating rapidly in  his chest. You let your hand wander up over his shoulder to let it rest on his neck, until you slowly pulled him closer to you until your lips finally connected with his.

They were soft and tasted sweet like eggnog, gently moving against yours in perfect sync. Your other hand joined the one already resting on his neck, pressing him even closer to you, which made him smile softly into the kiss. Hyunjin's hands wandered down your back, until they rested on your hips. Chills went down your spine, warmth slowly spreading through your body which wasn't coming from the alcohol. It felt like you were finally doing that one thing your body and heart told you to do so many times but you never gave in - until now.

Just when you thought about how good it actually felt to kiss him, he moved his lips away from yours, his eyes looking at yours.  

“Curiosity satisfied?”, he whispered. You looked at him for a moment, letting your hands wander over the fabric of his shirt until you let them rest on his chest. Your hands shortly continued their way over his arms, until your hands were over his, which were still resting on your hips. He let you intertwine your fingers with his, leaving you in complete control over the situation. You looked over his face again, feeling an urge to just place a kiss on his skin, so you placed them on his neck for a quick second, leaving soft, quick kisses on his jawline and his cheek. “Not quite.”, you whispered back at him, before pressing your lips on his again but this time you wanted more, you needed more, completely unbothered by the fact that you were still standing in the floor of your apartment at a party.  

His lips were just as soft as before, slowly moving against yours, making you hum. You wrapped your arms around his neck again, his arms now gently around your waist, pressing you closer to his body to eliminate the air between them. You had to admit, kissing Hyunjin felt amazing. Like something you've wanted and waited for. You enjoyed how gentle he was, even when he smoothly let his tongue slip into your mouth for a moment, deepening the kiss, leaving your body with goosebumps all over again. Even now, he let you take control, kissing in your own tempo and exactly how you wanted and needed it.

He let you wander your hands over his upper body, exploring the softness of his skin. You wanted to touch every inch of his body, the urge to feel him nearly overwhelming you. Between all the teasing and glancing, all the cheeky grins and smirks you were curious. Curious how it would feel to feel that pretty mouth of his on yours.  

You enjoyed the physical sensation, how his hands gently stroke your back, until they reached for your head, holding you tightly. You were surprised about the gentleness of his hands, about the way he touched you.  

“More.”, you whispered between kisses, feeling how Hyunjin smiled against your lips. You lightly dug your fingers in his neck, connecting your lips again, feeling how his tongue entered your mouth once more. This time, you felt more pressure behind his kiss, as if he waited for you to allow him to do so. His hands slid down the sides of your torso, sending chills over yogr body, before resting on your hips. You felt how his grip tightened a little bit more and you smirked before grinding your body against his. A small gasp escaped his mouth and you wondered what other sounds you could possible coax out of it. You could feel how his kisses increased in intensity, his lips always connecting with yours, his tongue gently playing with yours. You needed to know what sinful things those lips were able to do.  

“Oh my God. Finally!”, you jumped away from Hyunjin, heart beating rapidly in your chest, as soon as you heard Felix yelling from the other side of the floor. “Jeez, this took way too long.”, he added and sighed in relief. Another head popped up next to him, belonging to your best friend, which raised a fist and smiled.  

“Dude, I said eggnogg is the solution!” you stared at the two of them while listening to some excited screams from the kitchen as soon as the others saw you, too.

“You owe me a 20, Minho!”, your best friend  screamed back at the kitchen and started to laugh. “I swear, I made like a hundred bucks tonight.”. She looked at you and Hyunjin, giving you a cheeky smile. “Anyway, we don't want to disturb you two any longer so we will be hanging out in the kitchen.”, she wiggled her brows, “with the doors closed and music playing so please, continue.”

Felix laugh halls through the floor before he turned around and closed the door  to the kitchen behind the group, leaving you alone with Hyunjin again.

“Not awkward at all.”, you whispered to Hyunjin, whose arm was around your waist. You looked at each other and immediately started laughing together at the absurdness of the whole situation.  

“I can't believe they actually made bets with money,”, he responded, placing a soft kiss on your temple. You smiled, closing your eyes for a moment.  

“So, what do you wanna do now?”, you asked him, looking at his twinkling eyes.

“Continue?”, he answered with a grin before wrapping both of his arms around you again, and placing his lips on yours once more.

❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄ ❄  

[suchalonelysunflower]

“One of the Boys” (M.C)

Pairings: Michael Clifford X Reader

Summary: College!AU ~ Friends to Lovers. You and Michael are best friends since forever, that’s why you feel the need to hide your crush on him. But when he makes a hurtful comment, you are determined to prove him wrong. Could that be enough to make him love you?

Warnings: The reader uses she/her pronouns, I’m sorry if I make anyone uncomfortable with that, it was not my intention. Angst with fluffy parts. Language, low self esteem issues, cheating (a little bit, it depends on how you view it) one sexual reference and some grammar and syntax errors (English it’s not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 5.5K

Author’s Note: My first Michael Fic! I waited so long and it’s finally here ✨ This is slyghtly based on a personal experience (mine didn’t have this ending) I hope you like it! Feedback, reblogs and comments are always welcomed, I love to hear from you guys 💕 You can read my other works HERE 🦋

You had to admit it, you weren’t exactly a very ‘feminine’ girl. But that the hell was wrong with that? Yes, you preferred leggings and big hoodies over skirts and tight dresses. Yes, you skateboarded everyday to school and hanged out with boys all the time, drinking beers instead of fancy little cocktails. Yes, you never really cared about boy bands or artists like Justin Bieber or Drake. And yes, you would rather die than have high heels on for more than 2 hours straight. But that’s just who you are, how you’ve always been. His comment shouldn’t have hurt that much, but why are you crying about it?

You have been roomates with Michael since you two started college. You always joked about how you were going to live together someday and have a fridge full of junk food and soda. Well, now you do (except from the junk food part, that proved to be an awful experience)

To be honest, you didn’t have that many friends besides him and your other four knuckleheads you know and love from your early school days. Luke was the youngest of all of you, and maybe that’s why everybody thought he was the innocent one (even though he was the mastermind of almost every prank you ever pulled) Calum was the shy one, as people would put it, but just get to know him a little bit and you wouldn’t be able to shut him up. Ashton is supposedly the mature one, but his quick-witted mind and his inability of staying put in a place gives him the same amount of energy as a five year old. And then there was Michael, your best friend, there isn’t a time in your life where Michael wasn’t by your side, weather it was for pulling a prank on someone, skipping school or just playing video games in his basement, he was always there. So moving in together was a no brainer.

The friendship consisted on having the same level of confidence as an old married couple, trusting each other with everything, nothing being off limits, well, except for one thing…

You and Michael were friends and nothing more. That was clear for both of you. For years you both ignored the teasing and assumptions of you guys being a couple. Just the idea of it seeming so absurd to even imagine. But there’s a fine line between love and friendship.

Over the last few years, you began to think that the idea of being Michael’s girlfriend didn’t sound so bad after all. It was impossible to pin the pivotal point of that thought, but somehow somewhere along the road, you started to feel more flustered every time he leaned into a hug, felt butterflies in your stomach with each look he speared your way or how he said your name with such a caring tone. You found yourself thinking of him more often than not, especially on how his arms would look around you waist, how it will feel to be loved by him, to kiss him…

But you couldn’t think like that, not about your best friend. So it’s better to keep it hidden in the deepest part of your soul, praying to whoever’s above that it will go away soon, but when does that ever work?

Maybe that’s why his comment hurt so bad.

It was a lazy Monday, you didn’t have to work today and that meant you could spend your afternoon beating Michael’s ass in video games. But you couldn’t concentrate with your thoughts wandering over the man who owns your heart. It was the third time you let him win in Mario Kart when he caught on your mood.

“You really suck today, huh?” Michael asked as he watches Mario celebrate yet another victory.

“Or maybe you’re finally getting good” You replied, resting your head lazily in one hand, not taking your eyes from the screen.

Michael furrowed his brows, worrying as he heard a light sigh come out of your lips “Hey, are you okay?” He asked, but you don’t seem to hear him, so he accommodates himself on the couch in order to look at you properly and puts a hand on your leg, just right above the knee “Y/N?”

“Huh?” You say, finally lifting your gaze in order to meet his and oh, how you wish you didn’t. Lost in the sea of those green eyes that consumed every thought of your mind, you felt yourself blushing under him and trying very hard not to think on his hand touching your thigh “What? No, yeah. I’m fine.”

“Liar. You let me win, that never happens. Tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong”

“Y/N,”

“Nothing’s wrong, Michael. I swear”

His eyes scanned you, knowing damn well something was up.

“Well,” He said, patting your leg, softly “If you’re not gonna tell me… Then I will make you”

Before you could even comprehend what he meant by that, he was already leaning over your figure with a devilish grin as his hands traveled to your sides and started tickling you mercilessly.

Tears formed in the corner of your eyes as you couldn’t contain the laughter that came over you. Begging him to stop, you tried to escape his grip, but it wasn’t the first time this had happened and you know this is a fight you can’t. Michael joined in laughter as he came closer to you, pinning you under him on the sofa.

But suddenly, his movements stop as he becomes very aware of the position you’re in. You give one last laugh before turning to face him, only to find him already staring at you. You shudder under his gaze as you realize the way his legs are intertwined with yours, wondering if it’s his cellphone on the pocket of his shorts or something else is brushing up against your lower body.

Michael’s eyes never leave yours as your breath becomes even. And he couldn’t help but notice the way that your lips parted slightly, almost inviting him for a taste.

“Hey, dude, sorry to bother you but.. Oh shit, you’re fucking on the couch?” A voice came through the door, making you push Michael onto the floor before getting caught in that position. Raising your head over the sofa, you were met by Ashton and Luke’s grin disappearing from their faces as your face came to view “Oh, it’s just Y/N. WAIT, Were you fucking Y/N?!”

Rolling your eyes and giving them the middle finger, you stand up from the couch, regretting ever giving them a key in the first place, and went straight to the bathroom, trying to hide the red of your cheeks.

But just before you could close the door, you heard Michael say “What are you talking about? It Y/N! She’s practically one of the boys!”

He didn’t mean to hurt you. He had good intentions with that comment, of course he did. But you couldn’t stop overthinking it, crying at the thought of you being so unattractive in his eyes.

“So he wants a girly girl?” You thought, already planning a strategy “I’ll show him, then”

That’s how it started. You began to wear the dresses that were long forgotten on your wardrobe, you started using makeup and styling your hair in something other than a messy bun.

It was confusing at first and not at all what you were used to, but there was a new energy surrounding you, a confident one. You were going to show Michael that you could be feminine, maybe that way he’ll notice you in a ‘more than just a friend’ kinda way.

The first time the boys saw you with your new look they were all sharing breakfast in your kitchen. With your apartment being closer to campus they might as well move in.

“Good morning, guys” You said cheerfully, not looking at anyone in particular.

They all stared at you, looking at you up and down. And just before you could reach the cereal box, the questions started coming.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Y/N why are you dressed like a girl? IS THAT MAKE UP?”

“Do you have a date? It’s 8 am on a Tuesday! Who are they? Vampires?”

“Who are you and what did you do to our Y/N?”

“Is the simulation broken?”

“Shhh” You said, raising the palm of your hand as you poured cereal in a bowl “It’s too damn early for any of you to do that much noise and I haven’t had my coffee yet” As in que, Ashton passed you your usual mug “Thank you, and to answer some of your inquiries. 1) Nothing’s going on, Calum. 2) I happen to be a girl, Luke. Thank you for noticing. 3) I do not have a date, nor I should use that as an excuse to put on some nice clothes. I just,, felt like it” You took a long sip from the hot beverage “The simulation broke down a long time ago and I’m still me. I’m just wearing different clothes, that’s all. Right, Mikey?”

Michael choked with his toast, coughing as he tried to gain some composure “Yeah, you look… great” He said with a shy smile, and he was right. The others joined in with the compliments, hyping and teasing you about how he will have to be more protective of you because you will sure bring home some hot dates looking like that.

It’s been a couple of weeks since that morning and everyday Michael complimented you. You’d be lying if you say that every word he says doesn’t fill your heart with butterflies. Maybe there’s a possibility that he feels the same way.

It was a pretty uneventful evening in the little coffee shop where you worked. You didn’t have many clients today, so the dim lights and the sweet voice of Hozier that blasted through the speakers allowed you to daydream. Michael’s face popped out in your mind, smiling as you remembered the way that he looked at you this morning. Finally proving that you were more than just “One of the boys”

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t hear the bell chime when the door opened, only waking up when you saw those same eyes that had you smiling just a minute ago standing in front of you, staring at you as well.

“Hey Y/N! How’s it going?” He asked, smiling at you.

“Nothing much” You shrug “Just the same amount of pain and tiredness of the average college experience” Michael rolled his eyes at your sarcasm. That’s when a giggle caught your attention.

The most beautiful woman you ever laid your eyes on was standing next to Michael. She had the bluest eyes you’ve ever seen and her wavy hair complemented her face like an angel. She sure didn’t seem real, how did you not notice her when she entered? Were you really that busy focusing on Michael?

“I can totally relate to that” The girl said with a smile, god even her smile was perfect.

“Y/N, this is Veronica. Veronica, Y/N” Michael introduced.

You smiled politely at her and she did the same “Oh, the famous Y/N! I heard a lot about you, I can’t wait to get to know you better”

Um, what? Michael has been talking about you? To her? You couldn’t tell if it was good or a bad sign.

“Really? Well, don’t believe anything he says. Unless they are good things, then he’s right”

“Okay! Thank you, Y/N” He interrupted, mocking annoyance “I’ll take my usual please, darling. And she will have…”

“Just a mocha, please”

You nodded “Coming right up” You smiled at her as she walked to a table. Michael leaned over the counter and whispered.

“Could you do one of those drawing people do in the coffee? She will love that. Thanks.” He gave you a kiss on the cheek and walked away, sitting close to Veronica in one of the booths just before he could notice the way your cheeks turned to a much brighter red.

An hour passes. Then two. Then two and a half. And you were standing there, acting as a witness of their chemistry. You cursed yourself as your eyes drifted towards them, watching them laugh and talk about life. It was clear that Michael was enchanted by her, moving closer and closer every time, and you could tell the feeling was mutual as she laid her delicate hand on his.

Of course Michael would go for the pretty girls. Veronica was gorgeous, you couldn’t pinpoint a single defect on that girl, not even with a magnifying glass and you hated that. You hated the fact that he brought her here, you hated the fact that you have to work while his love story unfolds like a Taylor Swift song, you hated that it you weren’t the one sitting next to him, talking about dreams and how everything just collides perfectly within the universe. But that’s not your story.

“Earth calling Y/N?” A voice calls in front of you “Hello?”

You blink a few times and stare at the tall blond man waving his hand in front of your face “Sorry, Luke. Didn’t see you there” You excuse yourself “What can I get for you?”

“The usual, but this time with at least four more shots of espresso. I have to put an all nighter again cause I have that stupid presentation and you are not listening to me again”

“Sorry, what? Four shots of espresso, yeah.” Your gaze averted his “Anything else?”

“Okay, what’s going on?” Luke followed where your eyes led and soon he was, too, staring at the reason of your distraction “Oh”

Out of the four of them, Luke was the only one who knew about your feelings for Michael. He was always very supportive and didn’t pressure you into confessing right away, knowing it must be hard for you. So he can’t imagine what is going on inside your head right now, watching the man you love on a date.

“He didn’t tell me he had a date” You told him.

“He mentioned this morning” Luke added “Said he met her at one of his classes and that she seemed cool. So he asked her out. He never told us he would bring her here “You clenched your jaw, trying to keep the tears at bay. Luke noticed that “I’m sorry, love. I thought he told you about it”

“She is gorgeous, Luke”

“She’s not you, though” You scoffed.

“Exactly”

“Y/N…”

“I’m fine,” You lied “Really, I’m okay. It was a silly crush anyway. And plus, look how happy he looks”

And it was true. Michael did look very happy chatting and flirting with Veronica. His smile reaching his eyes as she spoke and laugh at all his jokes. He truly must like her, and you… Well, some people are just meant to be the side character of another person’s story.

Luke let out a sigh, knowing well enough to assume you are just going to bury your feelings like you always do “He will soon realize what he’s missing”

************************************************

Well, six months passed and he still hasn’t realized. It’s been six month since that fateful evening where you got your heart broken by the man you love. It’s been six months since Veronica has been a constant part of your daily life, sleeping over, joining on movie nights and replaced your spot next to your best friend. It’s been six months of dressing more ‘girly’, wearing make-up and doing your nails, all of it trying to call Michael’s attention, to make you look more like Veronica, more like someone you are not. And all of that for what? You still ended up crying yourself to sleep almost every night.

Luke has been there for you all this time, letting you crash in his place whenever she came over and trying to distract you from the heartache by making jokes or goofing around, sometimes even letting you stay the night just to talk or cry or whatever you needed.

Tonight, however, it was a special night. Michael texted you saying that he finally found the movie you were dying to see for years! It was a special straight to dvd movie with Betty White that you remember it being your favorite growing up but you could never find it anywhere. And to say that you were ecstatic when Michael suggested a movie night for the two of you, would be an understatement.

You got the popcorn ready, ordered some pizzas and the ice cream was in the freezer. It was the first time in months that you would have time alone with Michael and, honestly, you missed him like crazy. Yes, you know he lives there, but it’s been a while since you guys actually talked or shared a good laugh together. Putting your feelings towards him aside, you just missed your best friend.

Suddenly, the bell rang. It wasn’t uncommon for Michael to forget his keys, so you weren’t really surprised.

“How many times do I have to tell you that we bought you that keychain for a reason and-“ But it wasn’t Michael standing at the door “Veronica.. I thought you were Michael”

The girl smiled, (really, not even a chip tooth?) “Yeah, he told me he’ll be a little late and that I should just go ahead” She said as she made her way into the apartment.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I love movie night!”

He invited her. It was a moment for the two of you and he invited her.

You couldn’t be mad, could you? She’s his girlfriend, after all. She could be here and he had every right to invite her, but… But it still hurt. You thought you’d be spending the evening with your best friend, he said you would. It was a special movie for the both of you, why invite her?

“Can I be honest with you, Y/N?” Veronica said, pulling you away from your mind.

“Uh, sure”

“I have to admit, I was really intimidated by you”

“By me? Why?”

“Well, when Michael talked about you I always thought I had to compete for his attention. It was always Y/N this, Y/N that… He assured me that you were just friends, but I didn’t believe him until I met you. I love that he has a friend like you. You really mean a lot to him so, thank you”

You nodded and muttered a “no problem”

She was right, you were just a friend of Michael’s. Why did you ever think you could be more? Especially with someone like her in his life? It was foolish, it was crazy. He would never look at you the same so, why keep trying?

“So, what are we watching?”

“Oh, um… I don’t know. I’m not staying” You said, hiding the pain in your voice.

“But Michael told me-“

“I’m spending the night at Luke’s today. I totally forgot”

You rushed out of the living room and went straight to your room, letting the tears fall as you started packing for a few days. You needed to get away as soon as possible. You couldn’t handle staying here at the moment, it hurt too much.

Just as you were packing the last pieces of clothing, you heard Michael opening the front door. And surely, a few moments later he was pushing yours open.

“What do you mean you’re not staying tonight?” He barged in.

Your back was facing him, so you couldn’t see him, you didn’t want to see him, but he sounded hurt. Quickly, you wiped your tears with the back of the hand and tried to muttered something close to an unbothered tone.

“I’m going to Luke’s”

“You always go to Luke’s, are you two a thing or something? Because you seem to live there more than here”

You let out a small laugh, was he really that dense?

“There’s nothing going on between me and Luke-“

“Then why are you always in his place?”

“It’s none of your business”

“Well, Y/N it is. It is because I wanted you to spend the night because we rarely see each other anymore and now you’re ditching me again!”

He raised his voice a bit, clearly frustrated and confused. That alone made your anger take the best of you.

“Oh please, as if you really want me here”

Michael frowned “What does that suppose to mean?”

“Why did you invite her?”

“Veronica? She’s my girlfriend, I though-“

“I know that she’s your girlfriend, I get it. It’s just-“ You took a deep breath, trying not to cry or scream or both “It’s just that tonight was special, and I wanted to share that with my best friend. Only with my best friend. But I feel like everytime we try to do something together she’s always there and-“

“You don’t like her?”

“What? No, that’s the worst part. I actually think she’s great” You turned around and closed your bag, ready to leave “Michael I’m not going start a fight, I’m going to stay with Luke for a while. Don’t wait up”

You made your way out of the room, but before you could reach the door Michael’s hand grabbed you by the arm, making you stop.

“Michael” You warned “Let me go”

“No, wait. What do you mean with ‘that’s the worst part’?”

“I’m not having this conversation right now.”

“Yes, you are” Michael made you turn around. You were now looking at him in the eyes, he seemed hurt but you,, oh, you were in pain “Y/N, what is going on? You’ve been avoiding me lately, you’re not staying home, you don’t talk to me anymore, you’re dressing differently and sneaking out everytime I’m here. Is it because of Veronica?” You shook your head, slightly “Then what is it? Why are you pulling away from me?”

“Because it’s too damn hard!” You say looking away from him, unable to contain the tears any longer.

Michael’s eyes winded at your answer. His lips parted in surprise at your sudden outburst, wanting nothing more than to hold you but knowing you won’t let him.

“What?”

“You don’t get it, do you? No, you never did” You cry silent tears as your voice comes barely above a whisper “I can’t stay here because it hurts. Everytime I’m here she’s here too, like a reminder of everything I’m not. And I’ve tried-“ you choke “I tried to look more pretty, to be more ‘girly’ and feminine, losing myself every day. Hoping that maybe you’ll notice”

“Notice what?” Michael said softly.

You let out a breath.

“That I’m in love with you, you idiot”

Michael was taken aback by your answer, but he still wasn’t letting go of your arm. You love him? That’s what’s this all about?

“But I know you don’t feel the same. You never did and you never will. After all, I’m just Y/N. Just ‘one of the boys’ am I not?” He didn’t respond “It’s okay, I came to terms with that, I wouldn’t expect you to say something anyways” You released yourself from his grip and grabbed the last bag that laid on your bed “I’ll stay with Luke tonight and I’ll pick up my stuff in a few days”

Michael shook his head, as if he just realized what you just said “Wait, you’re moving?”

“What do you want me to do, Michael? Stay here? Pretend that things will be the same after this?! Go and have a movie night with your girlfriend and say that everything’s okay when I’m tearing myself apart in front of you?” You ask out of anger “I can’t do that, Michael. I need time”

“Y/N-“

“Why do you care anyways? I’m not a main character in your life. I’m not the type of girl you would fall for, or that you would consider feminine enough. I’m not pretty enough or funny enough and I’m tired of that. I’m tired of being an afterthought”

You turned around, already reaching for the doorknob when Michael’s hand wrapped around your waist, twisting you so your back was pressed against the door and your eyes were on him.

“Y/N, you were never an afterthought” He breathed close to you.

“Michael, what are yo-“

“Stay, please” But before you could say anything else, you felt his lips on yours.

The kiss was everything you dreamed it would be. Fast, rough and passionate. His hands traveled down your spine as he deepened the kiss, getting more needy by the second. Your hands flew to his neck, bringing him even closer, wanting to feel every part of him. You wanted to let yourself go, to fill these long needed desire. But you couldn’t forget about the girl waiting in the living room.

With all the strength you could manage, you pushed Michael away from you as the tears came flooding down again.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” You spat at him in anger “You can’t do that to me. You can’t just kiss me and expect to fix everything. Who do you think I am?” You could tell he was trying to say something, but you were not in the mood to listen “I won’t let you do this to me. I won’t let you do this to her. I’m leaving, Michael. Get your shit together”

And with that, you ran through the door and didn’t look back.

A few hours later, you were settled in with Luke in his apartment. When you arrived, you asked him to please not say anything, that you weren’t ready to talk just yet. He just nodded and let you in.

You cried on his shoulders for what it felt like an eternity. Your head was pounding and your voice was hoarse. You’ve never felt so heartbroken before.

“C-can I stay here for a while? Until I find my own place?” You asked him.

“Of course, darling” Luke said, kissing your head “Take all the time you need”

You stayed like that for a while. He comforting you through your silent tears until you fell asleep.

A week passes by and you are not feeling any better. You haven’t been sleeping well and you’re barely eating despite Luke’s pleads. Ashton and Calum showed up one day to check up on you, but you still refused to talk about it. Maybe you were embarrassed, maybe the memory of that kiss was too recent, too painful to talk about. Maybe you just didn’t know how.

One night you fell asleep on the living room, the TV working as the background noise that drowned your thoughts. You were peacefully dreaming for the first time in days when the sound of muffled voices woke you up. You were still laying in the sofa, but Luke was nowhere in sight. That’s until you heard him talk.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea”

“Please, I need to talk to her” the other man pleaded.

Michael was standing at the door. He looked like a complete wreck. His hair was undone and a bit greasy from ruffling it with his fingers way too much, his eyes were bloodshot and glossy, still fighting to contain the tears in front of his friend.

“Look, man. I love you, but she doesn’t need this right now and-“

“Let him in, Luke”

The two tall men turned towards you. You were standing behind the sofa, your eyes never leaving Michael’s. Luke simply nodded and headed to his room, giving you the privacy you needed.

“I’ll be there if you need me” He said to you.

You muttered a small ‘Thank you’ to him before fixing your gaze upon Michael. He was still frozen by the door, unsure on how to say what he has to say.

Letting out a breath, you decided to break the ice “Michael-“

“I broke up with her” He said in one breath.

“You what?!”

“The night you left,,, I-I broke up with her because I couldn’t keep lying to myself anymore”

“What do you mean?”

He hesitantly took a step closer to you, afraid that he was overstepping again.

“All this time, for years, I’ve been avoiding my own feelings. Tucked them away at the farthest corner in my closet, hoping that they’ll fade soon. I couldn’t cope with them, I was too afraid to.

‘“I told myself that I was being foolish, immature and downright stupid for thinking that the girl I love would love me back. How could she? She was beautiful, shared my sense of humor, my interests and she was extremely cool. I told myself that a girl like that could never want me. But, strangely, she did, as a friend. And I was content with that, at least I would have her be part of my life.

‘“So I hid my feelings until I couldn’t see them, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t feel them. And every day I would remind myself that she was my friend and I was beyond lucky for that. I kept letting myself down on a daily basis, trying to keep the thoughts away, hoping that one day I could believe them. But I never thought of the consequences my actions had towards the girl.

‘“Y/N, when you left I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like a vital part of me was missing and you took it away with you. And I deserved it, I truly did. Y/N, I was an asshole”

“Michael,”

“No, I was. Hearing you say those things about yourself, like you were broken and needed to be fixed, it broke my heart, darling” His voice broke at the end, fighting helplessly to contain the tears that were burning behind his eyes “I- I never meant for you to think that I didn’t love you for who you were. That you needed to change in order to get me to like you. You shouldn’t change for anyone, love, you are absolutely perfect the way you are. You always have been and always will be.

‘“Y/N, you were never just ‘one of the boys’, you are my best friend, my soulmate and the best thing that has ever happened to me by far. I’ve always known that, but I was just too much of a coward to let it show and I’m sorry.

‘“When you told me you loved me, god. Y/N, I’ve never felt so happy and confused at the same time! I couldn’t fanthom the thought of you loving me, it seemed surreal after so many years of telling myself that it was impossible, almost like a cruel joke. But you did, and I could tell by your eyes that it was true, and I hated myself for that. I hated the fact that I was hurting you instead of loving you like I wanted to. I hated the fact that you felt like you had to leave in order for you to fix what I broke. I hated that I ruined our first kiss by a stupid impulse because you didn’t deserve that. You deserve the world and I was so scared of the fact that I might’ve lost the chance to be able to give it to you.

‘“ I broke up with her the night you left. It wasn’t fair to you, to her or to me to keep denying my feelings any longer. And I know that I don’t deserve it, but I’m standing here to ask you for forgiveness. I’m sorry that I made you feel less than you are. I’m sorry that I broke your heart. I’m sorry that I wasn’t brave enough to tell you this the moment you walked out the door that night. I will keep apologizing for the rest of my life if necessary, Y/N. But I just- I just don’t want to lose you”

You were standing in front of him. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you took in everything he said to you.

He loved you.

He loves you.

And you love him.

Michael was staring at his feet, too afraid to look up and see the disappointment in your face. To scared to lose you and everything you meant to him. Maybe coming here was a mistake, maybe you don’t want to know anything about him anymore. And he deserved that.

“Well,” You finally say, swallowing the lump in your throat “You still owe me that movie night”

His eyes light up as he saw you smiling at him. He returned it by grabbing you by the waist and pulling you closer to him. Leaning so your lips could met again.

Smiling into the kiss, you swore that you will never let go of the other again.

[be11atrixthestrange]

Waking Up In Vegas Chapter 10

After a night of debauchery, Ron and Hermione wake up in Vegas... married.

Muggle!AU. Romcom!Romione. Slow burning, smutty, angst-fest.

Rated M for reasons.

Ao3 | FFN

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More Chapters

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TW: non-con, although nothing explicit

[Hermione]

Hermione leans on the bar table for support, one hand clutching her drink and the other rubbing at her temple. The room is spinning, and she's dizzy, nauseous, and unable to focus her eyes on anything.

With one blinding exception, of course. In her peripheral vision, she can see the security guard dragging Ron Weasley from the venue, his arms flailing as he stumbles alongside. Against all odds, his vibrant red hair always draws her attention, even when it's entirely inappropriate.

"Can you believe him?" growls Cormac, massaging his eye. "Bartender, ice."

The bartender abruptly stops wiping down the table to stare back at Cormac, her eyebrows raised in amusement. "Bartender?"

"Yeah. Ice."

Hermione takes a long swig through her straw and glances between Cormac and the bartender, who seem to be sizing each other up.

The bartender flashes her name card at Cormac and offers a smile that looks more fake than genuine. "Sure, you can have some ice," she says sweetly. "But for next time, my name is Rosmerta."

Rosmerta turns away from the bar, muttering something about rude tourists. Hermione makes a mental note to leave her a good tip at the end of the night.

Once Rosmerta's out of earshot, Cormac turns to Hermione. "Why is everyone being so rude to me today? First your ex-boyfriend, now that old broad?"

His comment, and more specifically, the way he says it feels slimy to Hermione, as if his 'woe is me' attitude is nothing more than an effort to rack up pity points.

"Aww, you're almost done with your drink," he says, right as Rosmerta returns with a pack of ice. He snatches the ice from her hands and demands, "Another for the lady."

Hermione's cheeks heat up in embarrassment. No 'thank you' for the ice, no 'please' for the drink — what does she see in this guy? Other than the fact that he's conveniently interested in her, and he's not Ron, of course. Hermione mouths an apology to Rosmerta when the bartender saunters off to refill Hermione's glass.

"Rosmerta has been lovely to us. She's not an old broad," says Hermione to Cormac, who's now pressing the packet of ice to his bruised eye. "And he's not my ex-boyfriend."

Cormac chuckles. "It sure looks like something happened between you and ginger. By the way you dumped ice water on him, you'd think he cheated on you or something."

Hermione stiffens at the reminder of Lavender's mischievous look as she buttoned her blouse in the hallway, followed by the nonchalant way Ron waltzed up to her just now, as if nothing had happened between them. She covers up her shaky hand with another drawn-out sip of her strong drink, forcing down the bitter taste with a grimace.

"I'm glad you never dated the ginger because you can do so much better. Like me, for instance." Cormac motions to himself, a smug smile on his face.

Suppressing the urge to roll her eyes, Hermione puts the straw back to her lips — she really should have asked Rosmerta to hold the straw, but thanks to Cormac, they were already the most demanding couple at the bar, and she didn't want to put any more stress on the poor woman.

She glances over to her companion. So far he's been quite rude — embarrassingly so — and has only talked about himself. He spotted her on the dance floor a short while before and seemed kind enough, so she'd agreed to get a drink with him. She hadn't let herself get a good look at him earlier, so her eyes trace over Cormac's body now, his biceps bulging from his too-tight polo, his chiseled jawline. Underneath the bruise, his eyes are nice. They're not impossibly blue, like tropical seas she can get lost in, but they're not bad.

He's actually quite good-looking, but he'd be even easier on the eyes if he didn't know it. Pompousness is not a trait Hermione looks for in a man.

But she's not looking for anything serious with Cormac, so maybe she can turn the other cheek to some of his more unpleasant qualities. A bit more alcohol might help. She's just here to have fun, after all. Cormac seems to be an appropriate option for that.

As if reading her mind, Cormac leans over to her and whispers, "What do you say? Want to get out of here?"

It's the memory of Lavender fastening her blouse, her smug 'Give him a chance to get dressed first' that gives her response all the permission needed to slip from her lips.

"I guess."

"I'll take that as a yes," says Cormac, rising to his feet and tugging at Hermione's arm.

She stumbles out of her chair, somewhat surprised by his constricting grip on her wrist. It almost cuts off her circulation and would feel unnecessary in any other circumstance.

But she also stood up too quickly and is momentarily flustered and dizzy, so maybe she has his support to thank for not falling down.

"Oh my god, I'm drunk, aren't I?"

Cormac scoffs, sliding his arm around her waist to support her. His hand lands a little too low on her hips for comfort. It doesn't feel anything like Ron's did — caring, gentle, and responsive to communication. Yet, she's hesitant to say anything and bring his attention to what lies beneath his fingers, just in case his hand placement isn't intentional. She might ruin something innocent. That, or he might read too much into her taking notice. She's unsure which is more likely.

"You seem perfectly in control to me," says Cormac.

His softly-spoken comment flushes out some of her self-consciousness — before, she feared that she looked sloppy, messy, unattractive. But it also irritates her, invalidating her difficulty standing and walking in a straight line without the support of his body up against hers. Plus, the fact that it's nearly a whisper, and she can barely hear him suggests that she's not the one he's trying to convince.

Maybe she's reading too much into everything, and it's just the alcohol talking.

They continue across the dance floor and out the doors, his thick hand steady on her hip. When they reach the stairs and the music quiets down, he picks up the conversation again.

"For real. What did that boy do? You said he lied to you?"

Right. Hermione glances at Cormac, who's smirking at her, and decides he doesn't need to know the details.

"Oh, that? It was nothing."

"Nothing gets a drink in the face?" laughs Cormac. "Well, lucky for me, I like them a little feisty."

His words immediately make Hermione uncomfortable. He likes them feisty? How many feisty notches are there on Cormac's bedpost? Is she sensing an attraction to a woman who fights back? Her head spins, and again, she has to remind herself that it's probably just the alcohol talking.

Still, something feels off.

When they make it to the top of the stairs, Hermione places some reluctant trust in her instincts and uses the flat ground as an opportunity to pull away from Cormac. In doing so, she accidentally slides her backside against his hand. As predicted, he interprets her movement incorrectly.

"I see what you're doing, Hermione," he growls. With a hum of appreciation, his fingers clench down through the fabric of her skirt and firmly grip her bum. He turns his body toward her and presses her back to the wall.

Hermione opens her mouth to speak up, but she doesn't know what to communicate. She's not sure if she wants him to stop or if she just wants assurance that he would if she told him to, but her racing mind has no clue how to phrase that request without ruining the possibility of a casual, consensual encounter.

He'd probably prefer the benefit of the doubt, as most men have come to expect it, but then there's the problem that he's nearly twice her height, his hands are as big as her face, and he likes them feisty, which might cause him to interpret dissent as a flirt or a challenge.

Hermione internally chastises herself for wasting time overthinking everything, again, because she instinctively knows that the longer she's quiet, the more her silence will sound like permission. It only takes a few seconds for her to run out of time to decide where she even falls on the spectrum between yes and no before his lips crash roughly into hers.

He presses his hips against her, and she can feel his erection digging into her leg. It's prepped and ready, and she's anything but.

He runs his tongue across her lips, and his grumble of pleasure reverberates into her throat. It takes effort, but she turns her head to the side. As she feared, he interprets this as an invitation to tug at the soft flesh of her neck with his teeth and slide his free hand up her dress until it cups her breast.

"Cormac—"

"Couldn't even wait until you got to my room, could you?" he muses, his lips dragging hungrily along her shoulder. "I could tell you wanted me, but damn."

A storm of anger boils up inside of her — his supposed confidence in feelings she herself has yet to identify is beyond invasive.

She can't get her hand between them for leverage. "Cormac, please—"

"You're welcome," he chuckles back, completely misinterpreting her meaning. Again.

His pinned hand tugs at the fabric of her dress, inching it up and over the curve of her bum and exposing her lacy knickers. "Ahh, you came prepared to fuck, didn't you?"

Another burst of anger and the following rush of adrenaline gives Hermione just enough strength to push him off of her, even if it's only for a second. "Cormac, please get off me."

He removes his mouth from her neck and narrows his eyes at her. "What?"

"I don't want to do this."

He doesn't move. "You serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious," says Hermione, her tone steady and firm.

"You agreed to leave the bar with me. What do you think I meant by that?" Cormac's face is reddening, and Hermione's palms respond by breaking out in a sweat. "Fucking tease."

"Hermione!"

A familiar voice — one that typically irritates her to her core — draws Cormac's attention away from Hermione for a split second, long enough to take a breath.

"We're busy here," he quips but pauses when he sees Lavender Brown, clad in a tight pink skirt and sparkly kitten heels. "Oh, hello there—"

"I can see that," says Lavender, narrowing her eyes at Hermione, who sends her a pleading glance. "But I have to steal Hermione away. It's an emergency."

Hermione's shoulders instantly relax — the irony of this being Lavender's second "emergency" excuse of the day isn't lost on her.

"It's not the best time," says Cormac. "But you're welcome to join us."

"Tempting. What's your room number?" she asks, batting her eyelashes while simultaneously reaching for Hermione's arm. "Maybe we'll meet you there in a bit."

Cormac grins as Hermione slips out from between his body and the wall. "I'm in room 407. I'll be waiting."

"Perfect! See you soon," says Lavender, looping Hermione's arm over her shoulder and turning her down the hall again.

Hermione can hear Cormac's content chuckles as they round the corner. As soon as they're out of his sight, she slips from Lavender's arm, instantly annoyed by her again.

"Why did you do that?" She tries to hide her irritation, but it escapes into her tone.

Lavender raises her eyebrows. "Um, you're welcome."

A tingle of guilt almost causes Hermione to apologize, but the uncomfortable notion of owing Lavender stops her. "I didn't need you to swoop in and save me. I had it under control."

Lavender scowls at her. "Well, from my perspective, it looked like he was going to take advantage of you right there in that hallway, so my instincts kicked in. Next time, I just won't bother."

They slow to a stop at room 210, and Lavender whips out her room key. "You're welcome to come in — I didn't think you'd want him to know where your room was. Especially since it's on the same floor as his."

The floodgates holding back Hemione's guilt break, and she's suddenly overwhelmed with appreciation for the girl holding open the door. She smiles sheepishly at Lavender as she passes her and enters the room.

"Thank you, Lavender. I'm… I'm sorry."

Lavender follows her in and lets the door shut behind her. "It's fine. I know we don't exactly get along, but I'd like to think you'd do the same for me."

"I would." This, Hermione is sure of. At least, she thinks she is. If not, she should self-reflect, but that's an ordeal for sobriety.

"I'll make tea," says Lavender.

Hermione takes a seat at the kitchen bar, and silence fills the room. Her head collapses into her hands, and she gets lost in her thoughts while the water boils.

Tonight could have been an utter disaster.

Although thankful for Lavender's intervention — she shouldn't have left the bar with Cormac in the first place — there's a part of her that blames Lavender for it all. It was Hermione's jealousy that drove her to cling to the first guy to show interest tonight. She's hesitant to thank Lavender for fixing a problem she created in the first place.

The tea kettle whistles and jolts Hermione away from her thoughts.

Lavender pours her a cup and slides it over to Hermione, along with a bottle of aspirin.

"That will help you sober up."

"Thanks," grumbles Hermione.

Then Lavender takes a seat next to Hermione and says something that changes everything.

"I didn't have sex with Ron earlier today."

Hermione freezes, her mind overwhelmed with a tidal wave of rioting thoughts that can somehow be stripped down to one single word.

"What?"

Lavender sips her tea, her hand trembling. From nerves? Jealousy? Anger? Hermione doesn't know.

"When I came out of Ron's room and buttoned up my blouse, I was pretending." She glances away as she says it, her cheeks reddening under a blanket of foundation.

Hermione sighs, doing her best to steady her breath as to not give away the sheer amount of emotions Lavender just ignited. "Why… why did you do that?"

Lavender shrugs. "Honestly? I'm not entirely sure. I went to his room with the intention of flirting with him. We'd just slept together a few days ago, and I thought it would be the same. It wasn't the same."

Hermione's sudden envy doesn't make sense, and she knows that; she had no claim to Ron a few days ago. She has no claim to him now, really, so her relief that they didn't sleep together today has no bearing.

So is the fact that she just poured water over him and paraded around another bloke to 'get back at him' for something he never did. Hermione's stomach bubbles with nausea, and not from the alcohol.

"What happened in his room?" Hermione asks, aiming for a neutral tone.

Lavender sends her a sideways glance before answering, and according to her expression, Hermione's casual questions aren't fooling her at all.

"I saw you two at the bar, and I got jealous. I want him back so badly, and I thought this week in Vegas would finally make it happen. But his eyes have been on you since day one, and I don't understand. You and I are so different."

Different we are, thinks Hermione as she pulls another sip of tea to drown out her sudden self-consciousness.

"I can tell he's interested in you. He's expressed interest in other girls since we've broken up, but they always looked like me, and I would just pretend that was the reason he was looking. I can't do that with you."

Lavender's not straight-up insulting Hermione, but it feels that way, so her defenses start to rise. All Hermione can hear is, 'How can Ron be interested in someone like you?'

She's still avoiding Hermione's eye contact when she continues, "I got so jealous and insecure, and thought, 'why would Ron be interested in me, when he could have someone like Hermione?' Someone smart, successful, someone who doesn't need male attention to feel good about herself."

Hermione nearly drops her tea. She was way off the mark.

"I gave it one last-ditch effort. I followed him to his room, tried to flirt, and he rejected me. It confirmed he was interested in someone else, and he didn't have to tell me who. So when I saw you in the hallway, my instinct was to try and sabotage it."

Lavender finally looks at Hermione, and there are tears glistening in her eyes. Clearly, she feels awful.

She's not the only one.

"When I saw that guy basically forcing himself on you, I felt awful. I knew something bad must have gone down between you and Ron."

Hermione's eyes sting with tears, and Lavender notices. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." Lavender smiles and wipes away the remaining tears from her eyes. "Okay, get out."

"What?" says Hermione, affronted, but then looks to see that Lavender's still grinning.

"You seem sober enough now, and we're still not friends. But at least you know that… it's not about you," she laughs, and finally making sense of Lavender's dry humor, Hermione can't help but laugh back.

"Men," says Hermione, and it's all she needs to say for Lavender to snort.

"Are the worst," she continues. "But Ron's a good one. Go find him at the bar. He's probably looking for you."

"About that," says Hermione, and Lavender's eyes narrow in curiosity. "He got kicked out. I splashed water on him, and then he punched Cormac."

Her eyes widen. "Wow."

"Yeah," says Hermione, swirling her tea.

"So he's probably wallowing in his room," she grumbles. "I'd tell you to go there, but seeing as he's my ex-boyfriend and I still want him, it's a conflict of interest."

Hermione gets to her feet. "Then I'll go somewhere else."

"And I don't want to know."

Hermione sends a thankful smile Lavender's way and turns toward the door.

"Lavender?"

"Yeah?"

"I misjudged you. I'm sorry."

Lavender contemplates her for a moment, then nods. "I misjudged you too."

It's enough closure for the pair to part peacefully — no admissions of friendship, but clarity on where they stand. And it's more than Hermione can hope for.

Lavender turns away to wipe a tear, and Hermione smiles again as she passes through the door and into the hall. The pit in her stomach has morphed into something else entirely — empathy, gratitude, and a small nugget of guilt.

As for right now, she only has one pressing matter on her to-do list.

[theladyofdeath]

Wanderer {2}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfiction. Elain x Azriel. Modern AU.

Links:

Fanfic Masterlist Ask me

They stared at one another, the world going still around them. It was a bright and sunny day, the weather warm as Azriel stood in front of his car, his stuff loaded. He had come to pick up Elain, but she stood in her front yard, hands empty.

It seemed like hours had passed since she said the words.

But it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes - seconds, even.

“I don’t understand,” Azriel said, at last, completely caught off guard.

“I’m not going,” she repeated, begging her voice not to break.

“You’re not going,” he said, slowly, attempting to register the words. “What the fuck do you mean you’re not going? Elain, we’ve been planning this all year, and now you’re telling me...that you’re not going?”

“No,” she breathed. “I’m not.”

Azriel hesitated. “And why the fuck not?”

He never swore like this around her, never used such language, never had such anger in his voice. It broke her heart.

Everything about the situation broke her heart.

But her father was sick. He had told Elain the night before that they found cancer, that it was spreading, that it didn’t look good. Nesta was away at school in the north, and Feyre...she deserved better, had dreams of going to art school next year. 

Elain had offered to stay, to help, to take care of him.

Even if it meant giving up her own plans of going to Adriata, to university, with Azriel. She loved him, of course, as much as she thought she could love someone. 

But she loved her father, her family, too.

“If you’re staying, then so am I,” he said, with that stubborn crease between his brows. 

“No,” Elain breathed, the word hardly coming out.

Azriel stilled. “Why?”

The word was hard, cold, and Elain knew that what she was about to say, what she had to say to make him leave, would be her ruin.

“I don’t want to be with you anymore,” she said, hardly more than a whisper. “I don’t want you here.”

Azriel said nothing. He watched her, jaw locked, as tears streamed down her face. Then, he let out a loud, humorless laugh. “Wow.”

“Just go,” she begged.

“I..” his words trailed off as he shook his head. “Damn it, Elain! Was this your plan, then? I was just some high school fling, someone to warm your bed until graduation came? Until summer ended? Huh?”

No, she wanted to scream, but instead she said, “Yes.”

“Okay,” he spat, raking his hands through his messy, dark hair. But then, the tension in his shoulders faded. “Elain, I fucking love you, okay? I love you, don’t do this, come with me. Come with me, yeah? Come with me, Elain.”

A sob broke loose, shaking her frail frame. “I...I can’t.”

His voice was quiet as he asked, “Don’t you love me?”

“No,” she said, having to force the word out. “I never loved you.”

That silence returned, nothing to be heard except for Elain’s soft sobs.

“Fuck you,” he breathed, and when she met his gaze, it was a whirlwind of shadows and pain. Broken. He was completely, utterly broken. “I should’ve known. Someone like you with someone like me?” He laughed, loudly, horridly. “What a fucking joke.”

She wanted to tell him how perfect he was, how much she adored him, but couldn’t, wouldn’t.

Instead, she said, with dry eyes, “Exactly. Goodbye, Azriel.”

She turned her back to him and walked away, back up to her house.

She forced herself not to look back.

Then, he left.

~~~~~

“Be good for Aunt Feyre and I’ll come get you in a little bit, okay?”

Amelia nodded, jumping into her mother’s arms for one last hug. 

“We’re gonna go see Uncle Rhys at work,” Amelia said, excitedly.

“Is that so?” Elain asked, looking over at Feyre.

“We’re just going for a little ride on the water,” Feyre grinned. “And maybe get some ice cream.”

“Yes!” Amelia yelled, jumping in the air with her arms raised.

Rhysand owned a little boat shop on the docks. He took Amelia on one of the many boats from time to time, and she loved it. Mostly because ice cream was always involved. And for a six year old, ice cream was a staple.

“Alright,” Elain mumbled. “Well, eat dinner first.”

Feyre rolled her eyes as Amelia said, “Mooooom.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I suck the fun out of everything,” Elain laughed, walking to the door and turning the open sign around so that it read closed.

“That’s our que,” Feyre sang, taking Amelia’s hand. “Have fun. But not too much fun.”

Elain blushed furiously. “Yeah, okay, thanks.”

“Bye mama,” Amelia said, as she walked out of the door with Feyre.

“Bye, my love,” Elain said, eyes soft as she watched them walk away. 

She assumed Azriel would be arriving soon so she had to finish closing up the shop before he did. It had been a slow day, both with customers and time. The time seemed to drag on and on, each second passing with a ridiculous amount of anxiety fluttering in the pit of Elain’s stomach. She had picked up her phone ten times throughout the day to text Feyre, asking for Azriel’s number so that she could cancel. But she didn’t, because if she did, she would just criticize herself for being a wimp. 

She needed to talk things out with Azriel, as much as the thought terrified her. There had never been closure, and she needed closure, they both deserved as much. For the sake of their group of friends, they needed that closure. Now that he was back, Elain needed to be able to be around Azriel with no awkward tension.

Even so, by the time Elain had closed up her shop, she felt the need to vomit.

It didn’t help when she spotted Azriel, standing outside of her shop, leaning against the hood of his jeep, smoking a cigarette. 

He spotted her watching him through the front glass and smiled, softly. She held up a finger, letting him know she would only be a second more. After hurrying to the back room, she grabbed her purse and looked into the long, distorted mirror on the wall.

Good enough.

After a few deep breaths, Elain was turning off the lights and exiting her shop. With her key, she turned the lock then spun around to face Azriel, who was watching her curiously.

“Hi,” she breathed.

“Hey,” he said, taking the cigarette from between his teeth. “Sorry,” he said, a small smile on his plump lips as he put out his cigarette. “I know you don’t like the smoke.”

She hadn’t, even when they were in high school. He was always sure to put it out the moment she came into view. 

“Bad habit,” she said, eyes bright.

Azriel laughed, quietly. “True.”

“Ready?” she asked.

He nodded, and held out his arm, gesturing for her to lead the way. They walked down to the end of the block where the crosswalk was and went across the street to the little coffee house across from her shop. They both ordered before finding a little table near the corner window and sitting across from one another.

A thousand different small-talk questions raced through Elain’s mind, but none of them seemed good enough, so she was glad when Azriel began with, “I didn’t think you’d agree to come with me, I have to be honest.”

Elain stilled. “Why not?”

Azriel gave her a knowing look, but cleared his throat before he said, “Let’s not pretend like we don’t have a history.”

The words were not cruel, and his tone was light, but the words still made Elain’s chest ache.

But she nodded. “Fair enough. But that was so long ago. We were only kids, then.”

Azriel nodded, slowly. “True. A lot has happened since, it seems.” 

“I would like to hear about it,” Elain said, propping her chin in her hands. “All that’s happened.”

Azriel’s grin widened, although his lips remained pressed together. Elain could count on one hand how many times through the years she had seen Azriel’s teeth when he smiled...all of those times being when they were alone. It was a rare thing, to see a full-fledged, teeth-bearing grin from Azriel.

She remembered it being the most beautiful of sights. 

“Well,” he began, sheepishly, “I, uh, graduated, obviously. Found a job in journalism, fairly quickly, which surprised a shit ton of people - myself, included.” Elain chuckled as Azriel went on, “Other than that, I must say, I haven’t been all that exciting. Uh, lived in a nice apartment, near the beach in Adriata. Made a few friends, I guess. Dated a little, nothing that worked out. Mostly I just did a ton of writing. I actually just got my first book published, so...we will see.”

“I heard about that,” Elain said. “And that’s incredible, you deserve it. You’re a beautiful writer, always have been. I was waiting for it to be released so that I could be one of your first of many customers.” 

She could remember the countless nights they laid together, tangled in the sheets, Azriel reading to her from his notebook of drabbles and poetry. 

“I don’t know about many,” Azriel said, modestly. “But, hopefully some people out there will enjoy it.”

“It’ll be a hit,” Elain said, meeting his bright gaze, “I know it.”

Azriel cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. He had never been one for compliments. To his pleasure, a waitress came with a black coffee for Azriel, and a caramel mocha latte for Elain. 

“Enough about me, though,” Azriel said, fiddling with the handle of his mug. “How about you?”

Elain had no idea where to begin. Her life the past few years had been a roller coaster. “Well, I’m sure you know I married Graysen,” Elain began, staring at the top of her coffee. “We got divorced two years later, but I can’t be too mad because he gave me Amelia, and she’s incredible.”

She decided to leave out the part where Graysen cheated, and that was why they had divorced in the first place. She also decided to leave out the part where he moved to the other side of the continent, not caring that it meant he wouldn’t be a part of his child’s life.

When Elain looked back up at Azriel, though, he was watching her with that same little smile. “I’ve seen pictures of her, your daughter. She’s beautiful. Looks just like you.”

Elain nodded, her smile widening. “Yeah, she’s a great kid.” 

“And does she play?”

Elain couldn’t help but laugh. “No. But, I haven’t played since before she’s been born, either.”

She used to play piano, used to be good at it, too. But that had been long ago. “I see you finally got your shop,” Azriel said, then, gesturing across the street. “Looks like you’re doing good there.”

“Yeah, I haven’t been open for long, but it’s been going well,” she agreed. 

“That was the dream,” he noted. “You always wanted to brighten the world with your flowers.”

Elain could feel herself blushing as she took a sip from her mug. “And you wanted to write. Looks like we both got what we wanted.” 

“Yeah,” Azriel said, quietly, but his smile had faltered, his eyes remaining locked in hers. “I have a box of copies, of my book, if you want to read it. I mean, I’m technically not supposed to give them out yet, but I gave everyone else one.”

Elain huffed a laugh.

“No pressure,” Azriel followed, quickly. “I mean, I won’t be upset if-”

“I’d love to,” Elain said, smiling brightly. “Absolutely.”

“Great,” he said, and left it at that as he pressed his cooling coffee mug to his lips. 

They only made short talk after that. She asked him about his years in Adriata, about the university and his favorite parts of the city. He asked more about Amelia, and Elain was happy to share all the little facts and details about her little beauty. They sat there until their coffee was gone, and then some, until the sky outside had turned dark.

After they decided they’d occupied the table at the coffee house long enough, they decided to take a walk along the Sidra.

They kept a healthy distance apart. Not too much distance, close enough to show everyone else that they were familiar with one another, but they didn’t stand so close that those who passed them thought they were too familiar with one another.

Even if Elain wondered what closing that distance would be like, after all those years.

“So he just left, huh?” Azriel said, hands shoved into his pockets as the breeze coming off the SIdra blew at his dark hair. 

Elain nodded, arms crossed over her chest. “Yeah. Doesn’t call, doesn’t write. Likes a picture of her every now and then on social media and sends her a gift for her birthday, but...other than that, we haven’t seen or heard from him in three years. She’s okay with it though, you know? She was so young when he left that Millie doesn’t remember much of him.”

“It seems you two have a great relationship,” Azriel said. 

“We do,” Elain agreed. “She does with my sisters, too.”

“I’m sure,” Azriel smiled, stopping to look out over the water. “Still, I’m sorry you had to go through that with Graysen. He��s a prick for leaving.” 

Elain sucked on her bottom lip as she followed Azriel’s gaze, to the slow, flowing water of the river. Her smile was gone. “Look, Azriel, the way we left things…”

“You don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do,” she breathed, and turned to face him. “Azriel…”

“Please,” he said, and when he met her gaze, his eyes were full of shadows. “I left, that’s the end of it, let’s move on.”

“Move on?” she asked, incredulously. “Az, we’ve been moving on for nearly a decade. Don’t you think-”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he muttered. 

“Well, I do!” she said, voice rising, then looked around to make sure she wasn’t causing a scene. In a quieter voice she said, “I do.”

Azriel’s jaw locked as he stared at her for a long moment. “Fine.”

“I just…” she sighed, shaking her head. “I’m sorry for that day.”

He watched her for a long time before he said, “I’m sorry about your dad. He was a good guy.”

He had died a year after Azriel had gone away.

“He needed me,” she breathed. 

“I know,” Azriel said, plainly.

Elain looked down at her feet. “The things that I said though, Az...I didn’t mean them.”

He said nothing, and Elain didn’t want to meet his gaze. At last, he said, “We both said things we grew to regret.”

“I wanted to go with you-”

“It doesn’t matter,” Azriel interrupted, then took a deep breath. “Not anymore.”

Elain nodded, and they fell into a tense, uncomfortable silence. There were a million things she wanted to say, had thought of what she would say to him for years if she got him alone, but none of them seemed to come out now, none except for I’m sorry. 

“I should have told you the truth all those years ago,” Elain said. 

“I found out later,” Azriel said.

“I know,” she breathed. “But...I thought that if I told you the truth, you wouldn’t go. If I told you that I had to stay to take care of my dad, I thought that you’d stay with me.”

“And that was such a bad thing?” Azriel asked, but there was no bite to his voice.

“I wanted nothing more,” Elain answered, honestly. “But you deserved to go the University of Adriata, Az, it was your dream school and I wasn’t going to stand in the way of that.”

“So you made me hate you, instead,” Azriel said.

The words hurt worse than Elain had expected them to. “Yes.”

Azriel nodded, slowly, watching her. “It didn’t work.”

“What didn’t?” she asked, quietly.

“I never hated you,” he whispered, eyes soft. “I could never hate you. I was pissed, but there was never any hatred.” 

“Well, don’t worry, I hated myself enough for us both,” Elain said.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he said, honestly. “All of it.”

Elain nodded, then looked back out over the Sidra. “Well, I, um, should be getting Millie. It’s getting late.”

Azriel didn’t even question it, he simply walked her back to her car and she drove away after a casual goodbye.

Eight years it had been since she had seen him, standing in her driveway, telling him he wasn’t good enough to be loved by her. The words still haunted her, but she couldn’t regret it. He had gone away, went to his dream school, is getting published. 

She looked over in her passenger seat, where his book sat, the copy he’d gotten for her out of his Jeep.

Part of her couldn't wait to read it.

The other was terrified of what was inside. 

The thoughts of the man she had told wasn’t good enough.

The title of the novel was, Somewhere in the Void.

~~~~

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