#but yeah idk. i just wish anyone thought i could actually fend for myself at college. nobody wants me to leave home and my mom won’t stop

[arthur-r]

back from dinner it was mostly good

[smores100]

once again we’re in full agreement lol. What’s your take on s3 remakes you’ve watched? Wondering how you feel about Skam FR as it’s kind of a similar situation to me where the chemistry & beauty is there but the writing and style is iffy (overwrought &overdramatic). My favorite s3 is druck. As a wlw I had high hopes for españa but it was p slow/v desexualized—a whole discussion, but my other gay friend & I were disappointed given how remakes with guys don’t hold back in that respect.. Thoughts?

Honestly re: wtfock tho I really do wonder if they had like one good writer in the room surrounded by fools. Bc it really does feel like some group projects I’ve been in where I feel like I’m the only one who’s not a fucking fool and carry the whole thing while having to fend off bad ideas (but when the majority rules, those bad ideas/execution get put in). I wonder if that’s what happened w wtfock.

re: wtfock, lol group projects are the worst….idk what wtfock’s writing process was like, but i’d love to know it. according to their wiki there were 3 writers this season? all seem to be male, naturally. did the two other writers have good ideas but there was a main writer who overruled them and did his own thing? or maybe they’re the rl one brain cell squad, that would explain a lot :p in any case, i’m unimpressed (friday’s clips did not help with that).

as for the other part of your ask….oh damn i have so many Thoughts on that, lol. this is probably gonna get long and messy, but you asked for it!

* druck - my absolute favorite. it’s the only one i’ve watched since s1, so that definitely played a part in my emotional investment and attachment. still, there was more to it than that. it was the closest to og imo in vibe and style (it felt small, real, lowkey, quiet, natural like og, as opposed to - as you said - overwrought and overdramatic + overproduced like the others); they cast an actual trans guy to play a trans character, if you wanna talk about a skam remake doing something REVOLUTIONARY? druck is the one; i loved matteo’s and david’s characterizations, how they both had a bit of isak and even in them, and the role reversal in some scenes, made things feel fresh *and* fit their characters/story; i LOVE that teens matteo and david were played by actual teens michi and lukas!! they’ve completely ruined me for all other remakes, bc thissssss is how it’s supposed to be! thisssss is how it should look like! THEY ARE KIDDOS. and they (druck and michi/lukas) truly captured what it’s like to be young and fall in love for the first time, the awkwardness and the nervousness and stuttering and fumbling around, the softness and pureness and innocence of it all!!! also they have THE BEST dynamic - other people might prefer all the hot kissing and steamy making out and the smouldering looks, but me? i just couldn’t get enough of their dumb chaotic energy, best friends who love each other deeply and are also constantly little shits to one another. gimme them pranking each other and playfighting every day! and then being soft and THE HANDS and matteo being a clingy koala basking in david’s affection :3 i also loved how for the most part they didn’t just copy/paste og’s storyline, they made some changes and knew how to make *other* changes accordingly for it to make sense and fit the story *they* were telling - for example, replacing the ‘call your gf’ scene with matteo’s panic attack/breakdown (one of my fave scenes), or their reunion at the end of ep 7 (replacing the desperate kissing + sex with a comforting and relieved yet also bittersweet and melancholic hug), or even matteo getting advice from his drug dealer instead of the school’s doctor, lol. also THE BEST BOY SQUAD, hands down. and matteo is my favorite isak bc to me he felt like his own character instead of just another isak, he was different and reletable and a constant Mood. that being said - it wasn’t perfect and it had its issues. there were a few times when i did feel they stuck too close to og scenes and it didn’t *entirely* work for me, just felt a bit off; i will forever be disappointed that they didn’t directly address and acknowledge matteo’s mental state/depression, bc there were enough signs imo to indicate that he did suffer from something. they mentioned ‘therapy’ in mia’s, alex’s and kiki’s cases, i truly thought they would with matteo as well, but alas, they dropped the ball on that one; i was extremely upset with david’s outing, but i’ve since calmed down and have managed to see it in a more positive light, tho i still have mixed feelings about it and am not fully on board with that decision, still wish it had been done differently (but at least! it wasn’t brushed off and was addressed immediately and eventually led to david having agency and yelling out his pain!!! which was good and important and cathartic); also eps 8 and 9 were pretty messy writing-wise, things either didn’t make sense or would’ve made more sense had the clips were organized differently (that random ping pong clip….?). overall tho, the good outweighed the bad, and it remains my fave

* skam france - now that’s a tricky one. the way i felt about it in the first half of the season, is different from the way i felt about it in the second half of the season, is different from the way i feel about ever since watching druck’s s3. it’s funny you should say how similar it is to wtfock for you, bc i’ve been thinking the same thing for quite some time. those neighboring countries sure have a shared flair for the dramatic! fr’s s3 was pretty much the first s3 i watched (i gif-watched half of skamit, couldn’t get into it). i wasn’t planning to (i was extremely unimpressed by the couple of s1 eps i tried watching, and same by axel’s acting in those first two seasons), but even is the loml and they got me gooood with their eliott pov trailer, which might have affected my excitement over it during the first half. back then i really enjoyed it for the most part, despite some clips being rushed or missing the point thus not fully having the required effect (their locker room scene, for example, or the ‘generalizations are bad’ convo), or how much i hated basile (a character so obviously written by a man it’s amazing), or the cheesy piano music. there were enough good things for me to focus on instead (more in a bit) that i could ignore the things i didn’t like or weren’t as good imo. however, all the positivity got sucked out of me when yann noped tf out after lucas came out to him bc WAY TO MISS THE POINT OF SKAM!!! and things went downhill after the director’s IT’S NOT DISNEYLAND IT’S FRANCE 2019 comment. i’m getting all upset just thinking about it, but to say *that*, to explain that horrendous decision bc lowkey homophobic reactions are realistic!!! only to THEN be all ‘haha jk yann isn’t homophobic! we just wanted you to *think* he was! he’s actually an awesome friend who took several days to reflect on all his past wrongdoings while his bff was at home having a nervous breakdown bc he believed his bff hated him!’ ughhhhhhhhh, miss me with that shit. great that they had yann apologizing for his past comments, but the way in which it was done was for pure shock value and angst, completely ooc for his character (all season he was all ‘tell me tell me tell me let me help let me help let me help’ only to do *that*?? nahh), and interesting how out of everyone the only black character was the only one with a negative reaction (remind you of anyone), highlighted even more during ep 7 aka the ott lucas coming out tour. then ep 8, that should have been 100% all lucas and eliott and building up to eliott’s manic episode suddenly had that weird random pov changing clip in the middle of it which truly wtf, basile was still basile, lucas thanked chloe for outing him, more scenes felt rushed, they had sex in school where people could come and go in front of huge windows in broad daylight and luckily didn’t get poisoned from licking all that paint! and i did not like the flatshare, i absolutely hated mika and lisa kicking lucas out of his room - which he pays rent for! - and manon not even trying to put up a fight, and them being like ‘roommate isn’t just a place, it’s a way of living. that’s a family, and you’re more like a cousin.’ ‘a second cousin.’ ughhhhhh and then when eliott was recovering from his depressive episode, they *still* didn’t give lucas his room back or at least let eliott stay there, he was sleeping on the couch, i’m aldjlajdafj. can’t believe i’m gonna say it, but TAKE NOTES FROM WTFOCK. tl;dr there were some good moments in the second half, but i was feeling bitter more often than not about certain things, so my enjoyment wasn’t as high as when it first started. and after watching druck, druck’s brand is definitely much more my style. plus, i was already struggling with making myself believe axel and maxence were in their teens, but after druck it’s completely impossible, so i just pretend they’re in college or something lol. all my issues with it aside, i’d still rate it higher than wtfock, bc overall the writing was better, more coherent, and made much more sense. i also liked lucas’ friendship with the girls; i loved that instead of copying the underwater kiss + 21:21 like some others have, they came up with their own thing i.e. polaris, which i thought was lovely; the lucas/manon crying in the middle of the night together in front of the tv was one of my fave scenes of the season; also love how we were introduced to eliott on the first week! and they spent time together! and specifically the piano playing scene, ohhhh; and in general elu are sweet and i reeeeally like axel and maxence and their friendship. so yeah, it had some major issues, but i’d rather have a coherent story with something done for shock value and drama ONCE than an incoherent story with several shock value moments.

* skam espana - sorry to hear you girls were disappointed! i only watched half of it, so i can only comment on what i saw. i decided to binge watch s1 and give s2 a shot when i heard they were giving cris isak’s story - it felt a bit weird to me, but it was also something different and new, and i did have an appreciation for their decision to have a wlw season (also much more revolutionary to me than showing a gay bashing), so i was intrigued and willing to try it. sadly i didn’t really vibe with s1? it’s totally a personal preference i think, maybe even a cultural thing idk, but it felt very fast and loud and hectic to me, idrk how to explain it. i was just more into the chill more lowkey vibe of druck and skamnl. but i still gave s2 a shot, and idk, it still wasn’t my cup of tea. i thought it was ok for the most part, but there were some things that bothered me - joana/cris felt underdeveloped to me? and things b/w them felt like they were moving so fast from the second they met, like jona was so intense and forward ALL THE TIME, they had like 6 almost kisses in a really short time, like shhh slow down. i remember disliking their ‘call your gf’ scene, it felt really petty and kinda mean to me? bc i felt like joana came on to cris *really* strongly and *very* frequently, so cris was more than entitled to feel hurt and betrayed when she found out joana had a bf, but then cris was kissing a dude and joana positioned herself and her bf in front of cris so she’d see them kissing too, and i just didn’t like bc seriously?? cris is valid, just apologize to her and explain?? idr much else tbh, they had some really cute and sweet scenes afterwards, i’m still against doing the underwater kiss + 21:21 so i was kinda meh about that (tho aesthetically speaking it was BEAUTIFUL, and i’m like, fiiiiine girls deserve an underwater kiss too, i’ll allow it just this once!), and that cuddling clip in ep 6 i think was sweet and the last one i watched. like i said, i was less vibing with this remake, and iirc it was going on during druck’s s3 and skamnl’s s2 - which were my faves, plus skamfr was on too i think and i was lowkey following it too, so….there was just too much all at once and something had to go, and it was skamesp. it was also around the time when panaphobia-gate happened, so *shrugs* i’m not wlw myself so your opinion on it being desexualized is probably more valid than mine? i just know when i did watch, there was a lot of kissing and making out and being cute and touchy with each other, so i thought it was ok? as i’ve mentioned before, i don’t need to see a naked butt or anything like that to *get* it lol, i thought they were lovely! but that’s just me. i will say that my faaaave part was most definitely the cris/amira friendship. they were so wonderful! one of the best skam friendships imo. i might one day go back and finish the season just for the heck of it, but they didn’t do anything major or highly offensive that made me have negative feelings towards it, it was just a personal preference + circumstances (too many remakes!) that made me be less into it and drop it before the end.

[valen-but-not-tine]

tezz, blake, agura, and mermista for that ask meme pls?

Fair warning a lot more of the questions have to deal with shipping than I thought when I first reblogged the ask meme this is for a /while/ ago, and I’m not really a big romance person (except one of these is in a HUGE ship of mine and I’m certain that was intentional ave.

got long, it was a long meme, and 4 characters

Tezz Volitov

What I like about them

well. that’s really hard to answer. to quote you, avery when I mentioned having trouble w this question, “I like him because he’s Tezz”

He’s everything that normally annoys me but done well to where it doesn’t?

cocky arrogant tech savvy bastard. but he has extremely strong sense of morals. Like boy took one look at the red sentients and was immediately ready to fight a war by himself and dedicated himself to being a one man rebellion.

What I dislike about them

how long it took me to answer the first question, he’s not my normal type, like for real I think his archetype normally annoys me, but for some reason the exact way he’s written gets around that.

Favourite moment

the entirety of the episode “Lord of the Kharamanos” Tezz making friends with tromp and once again showing his strong sense of morals with his absolute refusal to leave the kharamanos alone to fight the Vandals. I think this ties into why I love him so much, normally his archetype would have been the one willing to leave them to fend for themselves, helping them is a risk, but Tezz doesn’t even consider leaving, and is insulted by Vert considering it for even a moment.

Least favourite moment

The best quality version of his introductory episode on youtube is cut into 2 parts and the uploader split it /right/ in the middle of dialogue.

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

BACK! STORY! what’s his family life like? what did he eat when he was stranded?

An interesting AU for this character

This is pretty general for bf5 as a show, but in the the bf5 fused webisode “Cold Fusion” Sage is shown making an instruction type video for if they lose, somebody else could potentially take up the fight, and she deletes it at the end as Vert tells her the war will end with them. But what if she hadn’t. And then. what if they had lost? Tezz wasn’t part of the team yet, if the bf5 lost before he joined, but someone else (Grace?) found the video and picked up the fight, and then he joined? I don’t have much thought (well actually I have more than I’d like to admit) put into this idea, but ever since seeing that 50 second webisode, I’ve had that hmm what if idea in my head, and the only way I can really “see” it happening is if there was a similar situation to the shadowzone episode, where our bf5 meet the group that took up the fight when they died, team led by grace, with tezz, zen, and the rest of the group is ocs, but if this were a plotline I’d love for one of the team to be one of Agura’s brothers who came looking for her when she dropped off the face of the planet.

A crossover

umm I was really into storm hawks at the same time as I was into bf5, tho bf5 has withstood the test of time, so combining the 2 is something I’ve put some thought into before, but really w bf5′s setup of being able to go to different dimensions battlezones writing a crossover for really any show wouldn’t be hard.

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

I don’t have a lot of ships for bf5 as a whole, if I had to say one Tezz/Sherman, I love the interaction where someone asks if tezz is the brains of the operation and sherman says tezz is the left brain and he (sherman) is the right

Other ships?

Tezz/AJ I guess, in the finale when they sent the og team in bc “they started it, you should be the ones to end it” they had some cute interactions

BROTP

Tezz and Tromp, lord of the kharamanos gave us so much good tezz content.

NOTP

bf5 didn’t have a lot of romance, so there was never a set up that made me go NO but anyone with zoom is a full stop for me, there’s no canonical ages, but zoom reads as 16 to me, and most of the other cast as young adults, but adults.

An assortment of headcanons!

He’s Autistic!

Boy had a Bad Home Life, the boy was like 9 when he got himself stranded in a battlezone, and wanted to get back to earth because it’s where he’s from, but he /never/ mentions getting back to people. like it’s one thing if his parents just let him do whatever and he was experimenting in his free time, but he didn’t try to find anyone when he got back. and he immediately was ride or die for the bf5. the show probably just didn’t have time to touch on it, but with what we were given I can not see him having a good relationship with his family.

Blake (asuming Belladonna)

What I like about them

Listen I love revolutionaries. love me some characters fighting for a cause. Blake don’t back down.

What I dislike about them

how much Sun is tolerated lol

Favourite moment

When she stared her abusive ex in the eyes after he asked “what made her think she could win this time” and said “I don’t have a choice, I have people who actually care about me, and I promised I’d never leave them agian. So I’m not dying now!”

you tell him blake

Least favourite moment

90% of the scenes she shares w sun lol. why couldn’t we get more time with her parents? oh right sun took up any time they could have had lol.

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

fambly.

An interesting AU for this character

au where Adam never touched her.

A crossover

She-ra and the princesses of power, blake/yang and catra/adora, blonde jock and their cat gfs interacting

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

Uh Bumbleby without a doubt. they’re the slow burn we never get with queer couples, and while they’re not “canon” yet, that’s because they’re a slow burn, and they’re getting proper developement, but even so, them having feelings for each other is canon, to a point where Arryn Zech, Blake’s va got a motherfucking bee tattoo. like they’re /the/ main couple of rwby, Arryn mentioned Yang as someone who was in love with blake at a panel and had to be reminded to mention Sun. that’s cast tho, their interactions in show?

Yin/yang symbolism where they’re both both at different times, beauty and the beast allusions, character with abandonment issues/character who has a tendency to run, excellent fighting synergy? I could literally talk about how much this ship means to me for hours (you’ve heard a lot of it sporadically ave) and it truly means a lot to me, I’m not normally a romancey person, but something about a show I was into before knowing (or really admitting to myself) that I was queer giving me that rep? in 2 of my favorite characters? I’m used to seeing shows w queer rep bc I heard there was rep and decided to check it out, but Bumbleby seemingly happened around me already here. they’re not a queer bait. one of them isn’t going to die. and they love each other so much.

Other ships?

Listen. no other possible ship for blake (or yang) holds a candle (ha sweet burning the candle reference) to bumbleby. I’m not gonna go into it explicitly, bc the person who sent this ask isn’t there yet >:) but (as much as irl, friendship is just as important as romantic relationships, and I hate the idea of romance being “more”) the show has built up yang and blake in such a way that if anyone else wanted to be even considered they’d have to compete with the other. if you’re considering getting into rwby, Heroes and Monsters was the ep that a lot of the fan base realized that hey, they’re actually doing bees? and that’s bc there’s a scene that is so powerful with the 2 of them. from a storytelling perspective no other ship has the substance to compete with the bees.

BROTP

Blacksun. Blake and Sun work better as friends than they ever could as romantic partners, Sun has feelings for Blake, but they’ve always been one sided, and the only time he’s been on screen that didn’t have me rolling my eyes or wishing he’d leave blake alone so her parents who she hasn’t seen in years could maybe get some of the screentime he’s hogging was when he was recovering from being injured and blake is all “this is why I had to leave, my friends get hurt bc of me” and he was like “that’s our decision to make, I’d do it again, and I know Yang would do the same” like yeah he continues to flirt while in menagerie (sp?), but as soon as he realizes that she didn’t run off to fight the white fang alone he spends his time trying to get her to go back to her team.

NOTP

Tauradonna. I’ve also seen the “ship” called Animal Abuse and ouch if that doesn’t just hit the nail on it’s head.

An assortment of headcanons!

when blake and yang kiss for the first time her ears are going to twitch.

Bi

Agura Ibaden

What I like about them

listen the second thing she does in the show is tear a robots head off do I need to give more words than that?

What I dislike about them

I mean one of my only complaints w bf5 is I want more girls, does that count? I wanted to know more about her backstory in general too, like 5 brothers? at least one nephew? warrior princess? give me

Favourite moment

The first time Vert isn’t there and Stanford challenges her right to be second in command and she just shuts him down hard and takes charge.

Least favourite moment

uhhhhh. idk whatever made agura/stanford a bigish ship in the fandom

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

Listen. The toy line, which technically yeah sure not technically canon, but the toyline. calls her a warrior princess. was this just to sell toys? yeah probably. am I still intrigued. most definitely. Is Agura a motherfucking princess!!??

An interesting AU for this character

I can’t use the au I used for tezz, cause she’d be dead in that one. hmm. I just had a galaxy brain idea but what if everyone on the team got weapons with their vehicles and not just vert.

Give Agura a big sword.

OH SHIT I forgot about an idea I’ve had in the past but I don’t want to erase the give sword idea, one of those swapped aus shows have, agura and tezz are swapped tezz is on the team since the begining, is a little better w people, not by much he’s still but he didn’t spend his childhood alone fighting robots and sentients, and Agura got stuck on Vandal and becomes warlord within a year. Basically, trapped on alien planet--> I run this now. by time bf5 meet the vandals they’re allies not conquerors.

A crossover

yeah really just read what I wrote for tezz’s, the only way agura’s would change is if she’s a warrior princess like xena that could be fun, but cars and bf5′s whole thing would be super out of place.

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

don’t really have any, Agura/Grace if I have to

Other ships?

Agura/Sage

BROTP

Agura and the Cortez brothers!

NOTP

any straight ship with her is lame

An assortment of headcanons!

I know I’m not over the toyline but like. what if she was just a princess the entire fucking time. and was just way chill about it. imagine the shutdown

Stanford: ~I’m 189th in line for the throne~

Agura: cool I’m 2nd, but if it becomes relevant before my nephew is an adult I’ll be acting monarch until he’s old enough for the responsibility.

Stanford.exe has stopped responding

Mermista

What I like about them

I like swimming, she’s a mermaid

What I dislike about them

she’s vaguely got rude older sister in a sit com where the younger brother is the main character written by people who don’t have siblings, but like not really?

Favourite moment

“mermista will swim through the sewer system” “I’m sorry mermista will what?” but she still does it.

Least favourite moment

hhmmm not sure, she was in 5 episodes and I liked her, I guess early on when I saw her and sea hawk interact before I knew what their relationship was like and I thought she genuinely didn’t like him her intro scene was kinda :/

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more

well I’m expecting a princess with fire powers eventually (I haven’t seen original she-ra so I don’t know if that’s an accurate assumption) and fire/ water powers are always cool to see interacting.

An interesting AU for this character

maybe I’ve been reading too much of that she-ra dnd blog but she’s an eldritch knight with the control water cantrip and that’s gud

A crossover

it’d be neat to see her and Lapis Lazuli interact

OTP (or OT3+ etc…. just… favourite ship)

Mermista/Sea Hawk. It’s a twist on what we normally see where the guy in a het relationship is emotionally distant and the girl does all the emotional labor, but even then mermista obviously cares about sea hawk a lot, she is just not comfortable expressing affection, and he respects her boundaries and absolutely adores her.

Other ships?

did you see how she looked at adora after she transformed into she-ra? I don’t actually ship them but every princess is gay for she-ra

BROTP

With what we have so far I’d like to say frosta, just cause water/ice powers.

NOTP

I don’t think I’ve seen anything with her that I had a negative reaction too   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I mean I guess frosta, we don’t have confirmed ages for any of them except for forsta who is decidedly way younger than the other princesses.

An assortment of headcanons!

the girl is bi

she had the mermaid tail before the people legs, and the tail is the default setting

[diaryofanormalkid]

I need to vent, but there is no one to vent to so here I find myself using my online diary as my source of releasing all this pent up rage I guess?

So I have this coworker and from the very first moment I met her, my intuition told me not to trust her. This is when I was still considerably new to Tim Hortons, but I’d been working there long enough to know how everyone acted and was.

So just to fill you in on my work and the people I work with, literally all of them in my section are Filipino, except 1. And currently the one who is Filipino is on vacation, so it’s basically just me there as an outsider.

Now I learned the hard way that being an outcast or “other” meant that you were automatically going to get treated differently than the rest of them since they’re all Filipinos. It didn’t matter how nice you were.

So as nice as I was and could’ve continued to be, I decided it best to distance myself from them or at least just not talk to them unless they talked to me.

Which was fine for me, it worked and all I needed to do was last through my 8 hour shift and dip. I wasn’t invested in them or creasing deep relationships with them anyways. They were very exclusive in that sense.

I didn’t see a point in trying to make deep relationships with all of them when I knew some of them didn’t necessarily like me and they could easily just talk badly about me behind my back.

They speak their language very often, which is actually not allowed in the work place at all but since they’re all Filipino, it’s not like they’re going to taddle-tale on each other, so they get away with it easily.

And if I were to ever say anything about their conduct about speaking their language while I’m in the premises, well they would get the idea that it’s only one of two people and that would expose us so I’d rather not report it.

However, they do talk about me in their language. And as of late, it’s beginning to bother me. I remember in the beginning when they would speak, they would ask me if I’m okay and if it bothered them.

They said previously there had been a different coworker that asked them if they could only speak English while at work because it made them uncomfortable when they would talk it. And it serves that person right.

I wish I would’ve said that to them at the time they brought it up because now that it’s later down the line, I regret not saying that it does make me uncomfortable. Now.

Before it didn’t make me uncomfortable because I would ignore it and I wasn’t really caught up on them. But now they speak it so often that it can even affect our productivity in the workplace.

That’s when I say it has become a problem. It’s leaves me as the only one actually doing my job and they’re all just standing there looking away from their cash where customers would come.

It’s so awkward for me because I don’t want to be ‘that person’ that tells them “can you break it up and help the customers?” But it’s not like my managers know that this is what they’re doing so idk who should be the one to tell them?

It’s really conflicting me. Sometimes I think they do it on purpose so they have less work to do. Idk, it just seems as of late they’ve been slacking HARD. I feel like I get no help and they’re just making me fend for myself.

Meanwhile they’re always helping each other. Like, sometimes I’ll be doing a whole big order by myself and I can’t help but think, “Are they purposely not helping me?”

Like before they dynamic used to be different. But as of recent, there’s been like a weird tension in the air. Almost this underlying animosity. For what? Idk. I’ve never done anything and I don’t do anything.

I am literally the most peaceful person and instead of allowing passive aggressive-ness to continue I’d rather just let things be water under the bridge and move past any misunderstandings or disagreements.

But I find myself asking between what time did I have any disagreements, misunderstandings, etc with anyone? There was only one coworker who from the very beginning didn’t like ME.

And that has nothing to do with me not liking her, she just decided as soon as I started working there that she wanted to make my life living hell. And that she was going to make there extra hard.

And look who’s not working there anymore? Her. She relocated to a different section in my work, so now I never have to put up with her. But now it appears all the others are slowly catching up to her.

Siding with her and deciding they don’t like me also. That’s what I mean when I say, they all talk about me in their language. Whether it’s outside of work or inside, it’s clear that there’s a change in the atmosphere at work.

And honestly I couldn’t care less if they like me or not, because I remember distinctly walking in there with no intentions of making friends anyways. The only thing is, if you don’t like me, don’t let it affect the work environment.

But that’s exactly what they’re doing. They’re stunting productivity because of their hatred or whatever it is they have towards me. I’m not sure when all of this underlying animosity became about, but it was recently.

I think it was all when we started getting these ‘employee of the month’ gifts every month. When that one coworker who hates me still was there, she was the one handing out the ballots of who we should vote for.

I personally didn’t like the fact that she was in charge of collecting the ballots and sending them down to where they were gonna be counted. But what completely irked me the wrong way is when she told me who to vote for.

For one, the problem wasn’t the person who she was telling me to vote for. Because I was actually in support of who she was telling me to vote for. It was the fact that she thought she could influence who i was going to vote for.

That didn’t sit right with me because I couldn’t help but wonder if she expected me to listen to her for the next vote, and the next. So I didn’t vote right away. Installed so I could go away in peace and vote for whoever I wanted.

The thing is, she kept pushing the voting thing that whole day since apparently it was the last day to hand them in. So I wasn’t going to get my time alone to vote. And I ended up just voting for who she said, which happened to be the person I wanted to vote for anyways.

So then comes the next time to vote, and y’all remember how at the very beginning of this post I said from the moment I met her my intuition told me not to trust her? Yeah her. Well this time around it was her telling me who to vote for.

So get this, she was trying to get me to vote her the whole day. It was such an awkward day for me because I felt like I couldn’t even get a word out without her saying “okay make sure you vote for me!” And then she would turn it around going “I’m just joking, britney. Vote for who you want.”

Obviously though she wasn’t joking because you could tell since she was so persistent on this matter. I was really turned off by that and instead of holding off and trying to wait until the end of the day to vote for who I actually wanted to vote for, I just ended up voting for her to shut her up.

I felt like she was watching me the whole time until I voted. The entire encounter just made me uncomfortable even talking about it. Because votes are usually private.

And the fact that all my other coworkers were there in the open hearing that I made up my mind to vote for her probably rubbed some people the wrong way. I felt like I didn’t have the privacy for myself to decide who I wanted to vote for.

The BIG sign that made me start to really watch her is one day when she made this comment like “wow, britney really wants employee of the month!” And I kinda just stopped and was like “what in the actual heck is she talking about?”

I literally had no idea what she was referring to because I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary or doing anything extra of what I would usually do. And from that day on I realized she was watching me REALLY intensely. She had been for a while probably.

Literally though, from that day on she’s been WEIRD. Like just really passive aggressive. Watching me make my lunch when I go on break. Sometimes not saying goodbye in the evening when I leave.

Even making unnecessary remarks sometimes. Just litttle little stuff. But it adds up in my mind. And I’m watching her. Her body language and attitude has changed towards me so obviously that doesn’t go unnoticed in my mind.

The thing is, she only just now notices how much I help everyone else around the work place but before she didn’t notice because there wasn’t an ‘employee of the month’ to work towards.

Like, that pisses me off SO much because I’ve BEEEEEN DOING ALL OF THIS. I am literally the most selfless worker I think THERE aside from one person MAYBE, but even that one girl sometimes she gets caught up doing her own thing which is OKAY.

However the fact that she even called me out on my hard work as if I haven’t been doing this the whole time makes me so mad because it’s like she’s saying “oh Britney’s only working this hard because she wants ‘employee of the month.’”

UM NO girl, I’ve ALWAYS been working this hard. I’ve ALWAYS been like this. You’re just too self absorbed in your own language and world to notice. Like now that there’s something to work towards and compete for, NOW she notices my hard work huh?

NOW? Like girl, seriously? First of all, your claim that I even want the ‘employee of the month’ is false because 1) I don’t want it because I already know NONE of y’all are going to vote for me.

There are way too many of you Filipinos and that makes them biased to vote for their own. And they can’t tell me that that’s not true because I’ve already seen it happen with my own eyes 4 times 🤷🏾‍♀️

2) even if I did want it, i wouldn’t get it because no matter how hard I work it would just be overshadowed with a different Filipino coworker since again they’re biased and they would just vote for their own.

3) they think I’m only working this hard because I want ‘employee of the month’ yet I’ve always been like this? If you couldn’t even notice that this is how I’ve always treated you guys before, then they’re not going to ever think my actions are genuine and deserving of an ‘employee of the month’ anyways, so so be it.

Like they didn’t even appreciate how much effort I was giving before being as selfless as I am and doing things out of the ordinary to help them out, so it’s not like my same character is going to make them feel like they need to vote for me.

So I’m not bothered with never getting an ‘employee of the month’. I’ve already prepared myself to not get one and if I ever do, I’ll genuinely be surprised because there is literally only 2 ppl I can imagine POTENTIALLY voting for me and even then, I feel like it would be out of pity and not actually deserving it.

Anyways so for that specific coworker who told me to vote for her and that I said my intuition told me not to trust her, YEAH, SHES A CHRISTIAN. Idk if I should say that and make an embarrassment of my religion or expose that this is not how christians are supposed to act?

But like, yeah she literally acts like a bully and she’s a full ass grown adult. Literally 40... like they’re all pretty exclusive since they’re all Filipino, but she takes it to a different level.

Like she’ll literally start speaking Tagalog in front of me, everyone will laugh or respond and then not explain what they just said even though that’s what they used to ALWAYS do. And sometimes I’ll hear my NAME?

And I’m like in my head, “so you said my name so you’ve officially made it my business. Can you please address me directly since you wanna say my name out of your mouth?” Idk she’s soooo fake.

Also, because they’re all Filipino, they’re all supposedly really close outside of work also. So they always hang out. It wasn’t until some months back when a couple of coworkers tried inviting me out that I realized they ALL hang out together.

Like literally all of them 🙃 so when they invited me I was hesitant because 1) I was already an outsider at work so wth did I look like trying to hang out with them outside work?

2) they all speak one language that I do not, why would I want to put myself through that??? I wouldn’t even be able to communicate with them......

3) pretty sure the invitation was half-assed anyways? Like she didn’t even sound like she had plans to follow through with it but the guy did? If it was the guy asking I feel like he would’ve actually followed up with an actual date and time, but she was the one who invited me out so I wasn’t even gonna follow up on that.

So now, anytime they invite me, which I’ve been invited somewhere a total of 4 times out with them, it’s not that I decline but I feel like they already know I’m most likely gonna decline.

Either way though, sometimes I’ll hear about their weekends or times they went out with it each other and I can’t help but feel sooo left out. Like it’s the fact that I wasn’t invited that makes me feel left out.

And I find it so disrespectful when they either make plans in front of me or they talk about what a fun time they had with each other when I wasn’t there and had no part to do with it.

That’s something I’ve learned to just let go because I feel like it’s better off that I don’t get close to them since 1) i feel like half of them don’t even like me (or black ppl) anyways, 2) I don’t have plans to stay at that job my whole life 3) they’re shady anyways.

Back to the coworker who I can’t trust though , before she would be so ‘nice’ but I could tell it wasn’t pure or genuine and that any little mix up might cause drama. And I was right. All along.

I’ve BEEN telling my mom, she’s one of the iffy ones I need to look out for. I’m just glad she’s finally showing me her true colours. Because now I know not to get close to her again. Or try to talk to her anymore.

Before, like in the beginning I remember that’s how it was anyways. The only reason I started talking to her was because she started talking to me. I still don’t necessarily even start convos.

Now i only start convos if it has to do with work because I don’t care to ask about her personal life anymore. She turned me off one too many times and I think I’m about done entertaining her bullying antics.

She’s too passive aggressive. Like I remember one time I was playing music. GOSPEL music to be specific. Gospel music that she LIKES and that she’s previously played before at work.

So all I hear is a bunch of noise playing in the background of ppl taking their orders. So finally when I get a moment away from the customers after the line is gone, I’m listening and I realize, there are TWO phones playing music rn.

MINE and HERS. So here I am thinking... “ummmmm okay IK she didn’t just start turn on her music while mine is playing AND it was the same exact music. AND she’s christian? HMMMM.”

I was so bamboozled like I kid you not I just turned off my music because I was not about to get into no fight about music... 🙄 But c’mon like really how petty is she? She couldn’t just tell me, “britney I’m gonna play my music now if that’s okay?” Or ask, “can we play my music now?”

I would’ve respected that WAY more than her just deciding to play her music over mine! The thing is, her music wasn’t even different....... so like I just don’t understand why she wanted to make a conflict out of nothing. This is why you can’t just be befriending every and any Christian.

Some of them are so problematic and I actually had to question God like am I the one in the wrong because if I am then please correct me? I can’t read people’s minds and I don’t know what she’s thinking or what I did to her and why she acts like this towards me...

But anyways I’ve learned my lesson to stay away from getting close to her because she’s fishy and has been acting suspicious for months. I’m just gonna trust God and keep my faith alive and hope for the best.

Honestly like that was a goooood rant because this has been bothering me for MONTHS. My mom is on night shifts this week so I don’t see her for long enough periods of time to be able to rant to her about it. And then my sis wouldn’t care to listen

And anybody else I would even think to talk to this about would be like “that sucks” and I would literally get like half assed responses from them and then they would change the subjects onto themselves and I would have to pretend like there’s not so much more I needed to say but whatever this is the best it’s gonna get.

I’d rather vent on here than to ppl because the people I have in my life apparently don’t care enough about me to even fricking listen to me explain ONE thing that bothers me.

I swear literally any time I try to tell anyone something that bothers me in the SLIGHTEST they talk about it for 2 seconds with me and then change the subject and bring their attention to their own problems and needs

It’s not like anyone would be willing to listen to all this anyways. It’s so LONG. However it wouldn’t have to be so much for me to vent about if I could vent every now and again.

Honestly I’m soooo over everyone like I need better people in my life that actually care enough to talk to me if I need to vent like wow no wonder I have so many undealt feelings just piling up inside of me 🙄 some ppl are so selfish