#but you know from the start that there’s a reason why he’s with the scions. why he has the neck tattoos

[chiscaralight]

nsfw kinich x fem reader. i love him, i miss him, choking, repaying favors iykyk

i’m so sorry but you know the part at the end of the last scions of the copy tribal quest where kinich says:

'promise me, if you need anything in the future you’ll come to me.’

so on a particularly tough night where your fingers aren’t doing enough, and humping your folded pillows insnt helping, you find yourself stumbling towards his home in the dead of the night. he swings the door open when he realizes it’s you, questioning why you’re here at such a weird hour.

“you said if i need anything i could come to you..”

“yeah, i did. what do you need?”

kinich is very precise with his work. it's something he's well known for, but you weren't too familiar with. but now, with his fingers expertly plunging in and out of your cunt as you struggle to keep your legs up, you understand what everyone means now. his face is inches from yours, breath fanning over your face as he studies your pleasured expression. your back is arching off the smooth wood of the door that he had you pressed against mere moments ago after you smashed your lips against his in the doorway.

his tongue is hot against your neck. you're desperately gripping at the wrist that's assaulting your sopping hole, weakly attempting to push it away from the sheer pleasure that's blooming throughout your lower half. you're whining, cries of his name dripping out of your lips as your thighs start to clamp down around your hand. and he's trying to ignore the throbbing in his pants because you came to him for help this time. you'd done a great deal for him, and it would be unfair to take something from you again so soon. but those eyes of yours, they're pleading, begging for him to just fill you up, as much as that perfect body of yours could take.

and he was right to trust his instincts because your cunt is sucking him in so well. his fingers are tight against your throat, pressing down as his free hand moves to wrap around your waist. he has perfect leverage like this, pulling your back against his chest as he fucks into you sharp and hard. your hands are gripping at nothing, the feeling of his cock combined with the lack of oxygen reaching your brain sending you into a sweet spiral. you can't even feel the words leave your mouth, soft whines and pleas surging into his ears as you mindlessly beg.

"i-inside, kinich. please, please-"

it's the least he could do, after everything you've done for him. he's also trying to convince himself that he's doing this for you, not because he's been thinking about pumping you full of his cum. sure, he'd finish his commissions early so he could drag mualani to come and hang out with the two of you, or purposefully rile up ajaw so he'd have a reason to put him in time out, giving him enough privacy to pump his length to the thought of you. but no, this was entirely about what he was willing to give back to you. so he'd free up your neck, letting your body softly drop to the bed, before securing your hips with both of his hands before ruining you. you're fisting the sheets, squealing hard as the sound of his skin slapping against yours fills the room, his thrusts are messy and uncalculated, warmth painting your walls as his orgasm waves through the two of you. he's still smacking into you with such fervor, that you can't hold back your own climax, releasing around his still-hard length with a yell.

and he's obsessed with the white ring that's starting to form around the base of his cock from your orgasm. your pretty hole is still fluttering around him as he continues to move. he stills for just a second, then mutters an apology. he knows he's supposed to be assisting you here, but he just can’t help himself. he's going to have to take one more orgasm from you tonight, but he’ll make sure to give you one right back.

[anneapocalypse]

On the Former Scions and Leadership

Something that's kind of interesting to me about the Warrior of Light, which has always been there but which Dawntrail has me thinking about in a new way, is that the WoL really isn't a leader.

(Disclaimer: Obviously everyone has their own version of the Warrior of Light and is free to headcanon over and rewrite parts of the story to suit their character, and so what I'm saying here may not apply to everyone's character! For our purposes here, I'm just talking about The Warrior of Light as written.)

(Further note: I understand that there are a variety of feelings out there about the new characters and everyone is entitled to their own opinions about that; however this post is not an invitation to trash those characters in the notes so please refrain from that here; thank you.)

The Warrior of Light is a hero, but not a leader. Thanks to the linear nature of FFXIV's storyline, the game can't really offer us the conceit of making real choices, and so pretty much everything the WoL does is a result of someone else asking them to do it. So many of our major relationships with NPCs are with leaders: Minfilia, Nanamo, Kan-E-Senna, Merlwyb, Aymeric, Raubahn, Hien, the Exarch, Vrtra, Fourchenault, Wuk Lamat and Koana, every guild leader in our job quests. The WoL is someone called upon by leaders rather than being a leader themselves.

The Scions themselves have an interesting relationship to leadership in general. I've written before about how much the Scions feel like they're living in the shadow of Louisoix, especially in ARR, and how this affects their actions. As the leader of the former Circle of Knowing, Minfilia steps into the leadership position in his absence. I love Minfilia dearly; I think she has a true gift for bringing people together, making people feel welcomed and not alone, and helping them find purpose. I think all those skills probably availed her well as the leader of her Echo support group. It's when the Scions suddenly find themselves in the spotlight on an international scale following the defeat of the Ultima Weapon that I think the cracks start to show. I think that, very understandably, Minfilia is not prepared for the weight of that situation, and that's part of the reason she allows Alphinaud to step into such a leadership role himself (and also, and I say this with all the love in the world for both Alphinaud and Minfilia, why she even kind of lets him push her around at times). For Alphinaud himself, his experience of leadership with the Scions is disastrous, for which I think some responsibility also has to be laid upon the adults around him, who might have seen the red flags but didn't stop that train.

When Minfilia disappears, I think it's so telling that no one else steps up to fill the role of the Antecedent. Alphinaud is no longer so eager to take on that burden, and no one else is jumping at it either. Certainly the Warrior of Light isn't going to do it. (They're the boots on the ground, and the Antecedent is largely an administrative job.) The Scions instead just kind of agree to keep carrying on doing what they each do best, without an official leader. If anything, the glue holding the Scions together at this point is Tataru, who keeps the books and manages the budget and does her damnedest to keep certain people from putting overpriced purchases on the company card.

And that's not to say that none of the others have leadership skills! But it's interesting how, for those who do take on leadership positions, it's generally away from the Scions. After years of hiding under her sister's identity and "Papalymo's little shadow," Lyse takes an active role in the Ala Mhigan resistance, and helps to lead her people to freedom--a journey which ultimately takes her out of the Scions as she decides to stay in Ala Mhigo.

I'm counting G'raha as a Scion here since he does become one eventually, though not until after his hundred-year stint as the Exarch. It's clear both from the community that has grown up around the Crystal Tower, and from some really great G'raha moments in Endwalker, that he has real skills both at bringing people together for a common cause, and at taking charge in a crisis to protect the vulnerable. For the most part, though, he seems quite happy to take on a sidekick role after he returns to the Source. After a hundred years, I imagine anyone might be ready for a break from being in charge.

Y'shtola is harder to analyze because she's gotten less direct character development than most of the surviving Scions, and has remained largely in a supporting role thus far (though she remains a very interesting character to me, and I am hoping for a bit more of her in the Dawntrail patches given the setup for a cross-rift-travel solution). Y'shtola has always seemed reserved and a bit of a loner, and never seemed particularly interested in leadership until she threw in her lot with the Night's Blessed in the First. By the time we meet her again, she's become a trusted figure among the Blessed and the others clearly look to her for guidance and leadership. (It's also kind of interesting to me how both of the characters who wind up in leadership positions in the First are Seeker Miqo'te, and it probably was just a coincidence, but it'd be interesting to analyze how Seeker culture might prime a capable person to be willing to rise to the occasion where they see a group of people need.) Yet Y'shtola too seems perfectly content to settle back into a support role when she returns to the Source.

Endwalker is all about standing together, working together, the necessity of hope to overcome despair not merely individually but as a collective effort. The Scions all rally, each bringing what they have to offer, and they do so without ever appointing a new leader. They go where they see a need, like Urianger choosing to stay on the moon, or Thancred watching over the Warrior of Light and the twins when things go south on the relief mission to Garlemald, or the twins later taking a personal interest in the rebuilding efforts there. They also defer to leaders within the Eorzean Alliance where appropriate, happy at this point to work alongside the nations' armies rather than attempting to command one.

And the more I look at the Scions' history this way, the more their disbanding at the end of Endwalker seems inevitable and the logical end to the organization. In a very real sense they have completed the work that Louisoix and Minfilia set out to do. They've been leaderless for some time now already and it has not stopped them from doing good where needed. They are not leaders. Their goal was never to steer the course of world events indefinitely. They've all learned a lot about applying their individual talents for the greater good and having faith in one another to do the same, without having to be directed by one charismatic leader every step of the way--a major point of growth from where they were in ARR.

And all of this makes our role in Dawntrail really interesting to me, because it's all about leadership! And the Warrior of Light and their companions are, as characters, perfectly primed to take a supporting role and take initiative in that role where needed (see: Thancred and Urianger doing what needs to be done behind the scenes during the second act crisis). What the former Scions aren't, as a whole, at this point in their story, is people inclined to step up and take over. And this is a good thing for this story. Both Wuk Lamat and Koana need to learn and grow on their own, and in the context of their own cultures. The former Scions can help, they can support, and they do, but they aren't going to take over. Sure, they have opinions! At various points, we see characters on both teams (including the Warrior of Light) make some pointed faces at one another indicating that they have some doubts about the direction in which their candidates are taking things. But they withhold direct judgment or criticism for the most part and I think that makes sense both for their characters, and for the nature of the story.

I also think it was probably intentional that the former Scion with the most extensive leadership experience, G'raha, is not one of the characters hired by the claimants and doesn't come back to the plot until later. While I love G'raha and I did miss him, I understand story-wise why he couldn't be here; his unique circumstances mean that he has had more leadership experience than most people could ever have in a single lifetime, and it's probably for the best that that doesn't overpower the experiences of our young claimants who need to learn their own lessons on their own terms.

The support role of the former Scions also makes sense in other ways, I think, in terms of allowing the Turali characters and especially Wuk Lamat, as the main character, to shine in their own right and to avoid what could otherwise have been some problematic tropes. But I also think it works pretty well as a natural outgrowth of who these characters are and have grown into over multiple expansions, the Warrior of Light included.

[smilingangel582]

The chase

Hi guys, I am madly in love with this character. And guess what, this is Naruto and Sasuke'a VA! In Japanese. I seriously wrote this tk fic as they speak in Japanese. Omg! I love them even more. Ps. We need more lee!kinich... I summon it!

Summary: Paimon is convinced Kinich is scary, but Aether thinks otherwise. It was a quiet day in Natalan until Aether started a bet with Paimon to prove her wrong. New discoveries were made, and unsurprisingly, a certain dragon lord commits betrayal.

Warning: Spoilers for the nataln archon quest and Kinich's quest, tickling, cuteness overload, Aether and Kinich are very close, but mind you, it's a platonic relationship (can't ship them yet)

"So you Paimon is supposed to believe that Kinich is actually... uh... a sweetheart?" Paimon crossed her arms in confusion. Floating around as Aether walked through the city of mountains, the scion of the canopy.

Aether shrugs, giving her a confident smirk "Well... he may appear blank but he's very nice and he doesn't hide it... not like a certain wanderer ..."

Paimon guessed Hat guy from Sumeru might have sneezed by that mention.

"But he's so cold and Paimon can't really see the guy smile..." Paimon huffs now, as if its the biggest worries for her, "its frightening how blank Kinich is..."

"What's frightening about me Paimon?"

A soft voice made Paimon shrill in surprise making her gasp and wheeze. Aether mildly turns back with a less-reactive surprised expression at seeing the saurian hunter.

"Hi Kinich,"

Kinich greets them politely, "Traveler, Paimon how do u do?"

Paimon recovering from her shock, groans, "Jeez Paimon almost got a heart attack! Stop sneaking up on us like that... your quiet anyway unlike your pixel-poop-mouth!"

Ajaw snarls, "Who are you calling poop-mouth, tiny ant?"

"Oh and Paimon's bigger than you!"

They continue bickering making Aether sheepishly give Kinich an apologetic look, "Sorry about that..."

"I should be the one to apologise..." kinich replies solemnly, making Aether like this guy more for his awkward informal side.

"Ajaw, do you want another time out?"

Ajaw turns to kinich, his mouth dropping in anguish. "Grrr! Fine, fine! I won't torment the anaemic ant!"

"Hehe" Paimon smirks. "Know your place little dragon lord!"

Aether rolls his eyes, "Paimon... behave"

Paimon pouts, looking sideways, "awww alright im sorry Kinich... and maybe Ajaw"

"Maybe??"

Ignoring Ajaw's short snap, Kinich shakes his head, a hand to his chest. "Don't be Paimon. You're actually a kind companion to the traveller..." he adds deliberately after casting a look at Ajaw, "It makes me jealous"

"Huh? I'm more powerful ya know! Oi! Kinich!"

Aether hears Paimon floating towards Kinich, "Kinich, you don't smile much, do you?"

Kinich slightly astonished responds, "I beg your pardon? I do..."

"When?" Partly challenging and partly curious.

"Like... right now?"

They all stared. Even Kinich seemed uncertain about what he just said. Paimon huffs, mildly irritated, "OK so... laughing? Ever dont that before..."

Ajaw floats around Kinich, his pixel hands patting his shoulder, "Haa hahaa would love to see that embarassing sight."

Kinich shrugs him off, the bandana making him seem like he's angry but he's just frustrated with Ajaw.

"All the more reason why I should not"

Ajaw being slightly pushed away but regains balance in air comes swirling back to him with a cunning sneer, "Uh oh someone's a little defensive... afraid I'll exploit a weakness?"

Aether sense tension, usually he would've stepped in to stop Kinich's discomfort with Ajaw but knowing the topic he was curious where this was going.

Paimon is no better now - contrast to Ajaw's scheming malice - she steps in to prompt Ajaw's hint, "Oooh does this mean he does laugh?"

Kinich folds his arms, somewhat wary where this was going. Yet he failed to notice where Ajaw just disappeared.

"I do, but not all the time -"

"Yeah, just poke him like this, and he'll go gyaaahaahaa!" Ajaw swiftly pokes Kinich around the waist close to the small of his back, making him spasm in shock, gasping, "Oi!"

Silence. Paimon's eyes widened, and so did Aether's. They all exchanged glances. Now Ajaw proudly danced and shook his tail, as if he got the best victory after 500 years.

"Kinich?" Aether smirks, now barely hiding his excitement, "Are you ticklish?"

The saurian hunter now stared, knowing there's no other way to dodge the question. He swiftly seized Ajaw's tail, now activating his grappling hook. He swings off till he disappeared through the clouds.

His flight instincts kicked in. Paimon stared in bewilderment, but she was the only one until Aether began to take the one-sided challenge.

Somewhere by the top of the mountains in Scion of the canopy, Kinich cautiously looked by the trees, hoping he had escaped. He knew now or never... and his experience in running away has been helpful.

"Baa! You coward..." Ajaw scoffed, now teasing, "Were you that scared?"

"It was not fright... I just don't like the thought of showing the traveller such an absurd state" he sternly added "and you're officially in time out"

Ajaw grumbled now, waving his small pixel arms "Grr... whatever, but you know Kinich"

"What?"

"Running away doesn't always help ya... when there's a good seeker"

He frowns, looking somewhat confused by this indirect analogy. "What do you-?"

"Gotcha!" Aether swings by instantly now tackling (not on purpose) Kinich as they both tumbled to the ground.

"J-jeez traveller be careful" Kinich groan, now sounding concerned. "Don't use that hook, so lightly"

Aether chuckles straddling him. "Thanks your a nice guy... now ever heard of the saying "you can run but you can't hide" Kinich?"

Before he could struggle he already felt nimble fingers attacking his sides.

"O-ohokay w-wahait tihihihime ohohout!"

His giggles are soft and yet very childish. Aether stares in wonder... he had heard many sweet voices but hearing Kinich like this is like a dream in Nahida's world.

"Wow.. you're sensitive, Ajaw wasn't lying"

Ajaw smirks "Hehe that was one of the weaknesses that I'm proud of exploiting in him"

"You mean the only one?" Paimon scoffs.

"Ah! Took you long enough useless ant"

"You! You pixel weirdo!" Paimon stomps her foot on the air angrily and begins bickering with Ajaw.

Kinich and Aether... well they have other better matters to attend to.

"So tell me, is this spot worse than this?" His fingers creeping towards his hips making him buck in surprise, grabbing Aether's wrists which didn't help, "Ah! Aether!"

"You said my name! Nice!" He gets his hips and then back to his waist... slipping the jacket down a little bit to access the skin.

"Ahaharchons juhuhuhust stohohohop a mihihinute plehehehehease!" Kinich curls to the side, suddenly his laughter getting louder when Aether targets his ribs with swift unpredictable speed.

"Uh oh ribs? That's not good... especially since your swinging around..." Aether smirks, now tapping and prodding his ribs as Kinich jerks to his back to protect his sides. His long lashes damp with tears.

"And you won't be able to swing comfortable knowing how vulnerable here..." he pinches the highest set ribs with indication "Oh and perhaps under here?" Slipping his fingers right under his arms making Kinich let an (honest to archon) a squeak.

"You're a sweetheart"

"Ihihihi ahahahahappreciahahahate the cohohohompliment buhuhuhut y-yohohohour kihihilling mehehe!" He giggles now. Trying to cover his worst spots as much as he could.

Aether laughed, now pausing a little, instead keeping his wrists pinned on either side of Kinich's head to keep him in anticipation.

"OK ok! Sorry, I always had to break the serious guys in this world."

Kinich groans, slightly huffs of laughter now calming down at the small break.

"Ajaw said Kinich has a weak neck!"

Paimon's sudden outburst on that fact made Kinich shiver. Aether turns to her first then back at him, a very mischievous smile that made Kinich shake his head a little, somewhat pitiful.

"Tch! The mighty dragon lord knows what a whimp he is but he still refuses to die.. bahahawahaha" Ajaw cackles in a sinister tone "Oh laugh to death Kinich!"

Aether rolls his eyes, "we are not killing him, just playing around... like friends"

Kinich's eyes that used to be blank slightly glistened with brightness, "Friends?"

"Yup and friends... make friends happy!" Aether wiggles his fingers right over his collarbone and throat lightly. Kinich knees kicked up in reflex, but they didn't stop Aether's fiery determination to tickle him.

"Ahaha Aetheheheher hehehee cuhuhuhut ihihit out! Hahaha ok ok y-yohohohou won! You won! Ok! Just mehehehercy! Mercy!

After that implore, Aether stopped tearfully laughing as well, falling next to Kinich, eyes bright golden and with bliss, "ohoho man that was so funny... im glad I saw this side of you..."

Kinich's breath was somewhat heavier as he managed to grab his composure swiftly as an amazing athlete "I-I uh... thank you traveler... I guess it wasn't that bad"

Ajaw growls, "Awwww, come on! I bet if you got his armpits more seriously next, he might not say that! Come on, traveler, I'm begging ya! Tickle this guy to death -g-gaaaaaaah curseeeee youuuu!"

Once more he just got confined into a space suddenly gone. Kinich sighs as he puts Ajaw away easily, resting an arm over his hip as he gets up now tired but somewhat... relaxed?

"Hey Kinich..."

He jolts when Aether poked his armpit that was exposed, making him stare in surprise "That's round two the next time we meet? And don't listen to Ajaw... tickling isn't something bad... its what friends do to have fun"

Kinich silently debated this answer... smiling genuinely. Perhaps Mualani was right... friends are amazing.

"Well come by traveler... its much livelier here with you around" Kinich offers, now giving an awkward smile.

"Aww miss me already?" Aether grins, then nudged him, "or the tickles"

"Just... you" he grunts, but looking sideways, with a timid look that seemed to have never appeared until today.

Aether will cherish that moment forever and also his laugh.

[xenodile]

On the one hand, I definitely get the perspective some people take of "the actual adults involved let Alphinaud down" in regards to the Crystal Braves, but I don't like it because it feels like it's trying to minimize Alphinaud's wrongdoing or absolve him of responsibility, and it's kind of insulting to treat him like he's well, a stupid kid that was in over his head.

Like don't get me wrong, he was up to his ears in the politics of Ul'dah and that's definitely a lot to put on anyone, especially someone as young and inexperienced as him, but the reason he was able to get into that situation at all is because, for the purposes of the story, Alphinaud is an adult. Like I see all the time the sentiment "why is this teenager allowed to do all this" and the answer is that in the setting, that's old enough to have independence and make important decisions! As far as everyone else in the setting is concerned, Alphinaud's a grown man that is just as qualified as anyone else to be doing the things he does! If he was just a loud mouthed kid, he wouldn't have the ear of Eorzea's military leaders or the Scions.

Whether you agree or not with the narrative decision to have 16 be the age of adulthood aside, the point is that Alphinaud should have known better. He is genuinely very smart, he knows politics and strategy, he SHOULD have anticipated his enemies trying to sabotage his plans. The Crystal Braves happened not because Alphinaud was ignorant, but because Alphinaud was arrogant. There WERE people telling him something was fishy, Riol was looking into it, the Monetarists' investments were brought to his attention, but Alphinaud didn't do anything about it because he was convinced he was invincible. He believed that if anyone tried anything, his troops were fanatically loyal to him and his enemies couldn't touch him. He had it in his head that he had solved the Primal Problem and created the weapon that would enforce Eorzea's peace forever, and he convinced himself that the Warrior of Light was his personal attack dog that would be there to kill anyone that got in his way. And worst of all is that no one could dispute this! His agents found a Garlean spy in the Immortal Flames, his personal action found Cid, saved the Scions, and turned the tide against the XIVth Legion. It would not have mattered if everyone around him was warning him about the coup, he wouldn't have believed it. The reason it hits him so hard is that he was so deep in his own ego as the savior of Eorzea that he started ignoring the corruption around him, and forgetting that his decisions affected the lives of dozens if not hundreds of people.

Taking that responsibility away from him to blame Thancred or Y'shtola or Minfilia or whoever just because they're older than him does a disservice to his character and the story of XIV as a whole.

[palepinklilies]

the injury of finally knowing you

Note: Initially posted on ao3 but with a different title (this is my draft title btw); Trying my hand at posting my pieces here! I hope u guys read my stuff nd like em ^__^

Summary: Marriage is a vow… for better or for worse, for richer or poor, in sickness and in health… What’s to happen when vows are… wiped… erased… Or The one where Gojo Satoru fails to remember his darling wife at the right time.

wc: 10.2k

Chapter 1: Of lines and intersections (ch.2)

The last memory you have of him as he is, is a sore topic. Frankly, you blamed —is still blaming — yourself for the accident that befallen the sole person you love the most. Your husband, Satoru Gojo got into a terrible car crash that put him into a coma for half a year now, barely showing signs of regaining consciousness. 

The night prior might be considered as your worse fight in the eight years that you’ve been together with Satoru. He always used to say that fights shouldn’t be slept in through the night, but not all things we want go as planned; because that night, you both had said words that couldn’t be taken back. Specifically, Satoru opened Pandora’s box and used it against you.

The cause of the fight wasn’t anything too destructive. Yet, it created a deep-seated wound between your relationship. It’s as simple as the talk of kids. 

It’s not a sensitive topic in yours and Satoru’s marriage because you’ve already had a long conversation around wanting and having children of your own. For a while, both of you were on the same page: ‘no kids until we’ve established what we want to happen with our careers.’

Somehow, somewhere along the line, he wanted it differently. For quite some time, he’s been hinting making a family with you. It could be as simple as pulling you by the baby section in a department store, or showing you funny — adorable and cute — baby videos from the internet. At first it was endearing and warm to see him think about children so lovingly, especially with the prospect of one being half him and half you. But unlike him, you’ve yet to reach the dream younger you had always reached for. 

Maybe it’s his leverage of having been brought up as a trust fund baby — someone with a golden spoon. While you had to work your way — with grit and passion, just to reach where you are now. 

He’s Satoru Gojo, a genius business scion turned mogul. He’s already well respected, recognized and established for his prowess in handling many corporations and conglomerates under his family’s control. 

Well you on the other hand… You’re still in law school. Against his insistence, you refused to use his money to attend law school after your pre-law undergrad. Which is why you had to apply for work to be able to afford it. One of the reasons for this is your pride. As foolish as it was, pride was your drive, not only because you didn’t want to succeed behind the shadow of his surname and money but also because you wanted to prove to his family that you’re worthy of being his wife. 

Okay, but who is Satoru Gojo if not persuasive? Eventually he convinced you to accept his offer, albeit with your condition that the fees will be split in half and that it’s the only thing he will finance in your pursuit of a career as a lawyer. So when he threw those god-forsaken words of insult, it hit all your insecurities and broke you.

“I don’t understand why we can’t! I try to give you everything I can and yet this simple thing, you refuse to give to me!” His voice booms across the living room. Hearing those words only made you more heated. 

“It’s not as simple Satoru! We… agreed. We agreed that we will establish our careers before we try for kids. Why are you turning back on that now?!” The pitch of your voice is starting to match his’ and the conversation was just escalating and getting more heated. The air feels heavy and your brain has triggered fight or fight and right now, fight seems to be the default choice. 

“You wouldn’t understand me because you’re already at the peak of yours! — because your career is only moving up and forward. But what about me? What about my dreams?” Exasperated, you just sit down the couch, your head in your hands. Tears are also brimming your eyes and your chest feels tight and heavy. 

Striking the iron while it’s hot, he resigns, “You know what, maybe my mom was right. I shouldn’t have married a selfish, poor girl like you.” 

As if time stops for you; your voice gets stuck in your throat and the tears threatening to spill, had spilled. You didn’t know what or how to respond to that. Is that what he really thought of you? 

For a few seconds, silence had finally taken over. The air felt suffocating. Leaving is the only thought you have above everything that’s been speedrunning your mind.

You wordlessly get up and brushed past him, only then does he see you tear-streaked face and your bloodshot eyes. 

Feeling braised, he immediately realized the gravity of what he said. He quickly catches up with you as you scramble to pack a small overnight bag. 

Everything feels heavy — feels tight, and all you can focus on is getting essentials: 2 pairs of undies and whatever clothing within your reach and your essential cosmetic products. Satoru watches you in chaos. 

Before you enter the bathroom for your toothbrush, he wraps his arms around your torso, as if to restrain you. His head hung low atop your shoulder and you feel his ragged breathing. “Don’t leave. Please. I didn’t mean any of it. You can slap me, punch me or kick me but don’t leave, please.” A sob chokes him as he says the last word. 

You’re also sobbing at this point, snot faced and all, barely able to say a word without hiccuping in between. It’s starting to physically hurt being skin to skin with him right now, so you break free from him. “Th-that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I… I just need time for myself.” You say as you step inside the bathroom. He just stands there silently crying, like you. 

Before you cross the threshold to your shared penthouse he speaks, “I love you. Be safe.” More tears escape your eyes. He sounded so soft and defeated, and you know it’s nothing but sincere. Without looking back, you wordlessly shut the door until you hear the ping of the lock. 

You stood in front of the door for what seems like a lifetime, crying and contemplating if you should actually leave knowing that once you do, something in your marriage will shift. Against all odds, you swallow the block in your throat and start walking away from your home, from your love, from your husband. 

You ended up in a decent inn away from the heart of the city. Checking-in in a hotel was an initial thought, but with what happened hours prior, you couldn’t bear to spend more than you have to. It’s not pride — well maybe it is, however no one has the right to scorn you for choosing not to touch any amount in the shared bank accounts Satoru arranged after marriage. 

Regardless, the salary you get as a part-time para-legal in a small law firm was enough to guarantee you the luxury of being away from anyone at the moment. You’re guaranteed the luxury of solitude, quiet and contemplation. 

The life’s mundanity became an afterthought…ergo commitments left at work and in law school. You’d cross the bridge when you get there: you’d face the consequences of going AWOL once you’re mentally and emotionally fit to be back.

Three days passed and you still haven’t gone back to his penthouse. You also shut off your phone, disconnecting from everyone and anyone who can contact you. At one point during day 2, you felt homesick. You almost went back, keyword being almost.

The quiet and solitude gave you the opportunity to rest, sleep and tune everything out. You wouldn’t know how to face your husband anyway. Everything still hurts to the point that it feels numb. But then a thought crossed your mind: home. It was a fleeting thought, a snap decision if you will, but that same hour you packed up and waited for check-out time. You were going home. 

An hour after check-out and you’re on a train back to your shared penthouse, which at this moment, is a gamble. Satoru’s spontaneous yet predictable (for you, that is). There’s a 50-50 chance that he’s home waiting for you while there’s also a chance that he’s at the office. There’s no moment for you to ponder on it, you just act.

Arriving, the only soul you’re able to meet are the trusted cleaners who comes and goes on schedule. You honestly forgot about their schedule, which is on a Friday. They meet you with curt greetings and smiles, which you return. You just hope that none of them have been talked by your husband into tipping your arrival at the unit.

Packing a small hand-carry luggage was quicker than you expected it to be. You take in a deep breath and think of ways how you can leave (without suspicion). Which is a difficult feat considering that one: leaving directly and walking out without a word would rouse so much suspicion. The word of the mouth isn’t so reliable and you wouldn’t want to leave and these people would make the false assumptions and tell on you; two: Satoru had probably gave the cleaners an order to inform him of your arrival and when you’d leave the penthouse. 

Of both options, one thing is for certain, Gojo Satoru will follow you and will scour the whole of Japan just to find you. 

You decide on a quick shower before leaving, which only took less than 15 minutes. You’re trying to minimize the time when Gojo could potentially come home if someone had snitched of your presence in the penthouse. Surprisingly, your exit went smoothly, even in the building’s concierge. 

On the far side of the city, in the heart of the central business district, Gojo Satoru gets notified of your arrival in your apartment building. Quickly he tells his assistant to cancel today’s remaining meetings as he rushed towards the elevators. You came home. You came back. Satoru knows that this might be the last time he’ll see you. He knows he’s hurt you deeply. He knows the gravity of his words when he used the biggest insecurity you have in this marriage, hell, since the start of your relationship even.

On the monitor pad of his Jaguar, he had dialed your number 5 times in a row, only to be sent to voicemail. In all honesty, he’s praying to every god up there that you’re napping or doing other things that keeps you preoccupied enough to neglect your cellphone. 

And right now as he’s currently speeding beyond the city’s limits, he’s left you yet another voicemail: “[name], hey, I’m still on my way back. I’m sorry for everything I said. I know I shouldn’t say it through voicemail but I want you to know that I am. I’m really sorry and I can’t ever justify the things I said. Wait for me at home, please. I love y-”

He wasn’t able to finish the last words when he felt a large collision against the left side of his vehicle. At that moment, time stood still for Satoru Gojo. One moment he was speeding forward with one goal in mind and in a split second he’s receiving a blunt force that made the car skid across the lightly trafficked road. 

Nothing in his field of vision registered in his brain, it was all a blurry haze. Soon after the car skids to a halt, the last thing he sees is your contact name on the monitor pad before losing consciousness.

On the flip side, you’re seeing blurry hazes of Tokyo fading into greens as you’re seated on a train ride back to Sendai, your home — first home. Exhaustion is clearly seeping out from your skin albeit the lack of physical activity and work. Your mind is so muddled and fogged and it’s not helping that your brain is rejecting any other emotion aside from hurt. 

Clarity and peace of mind is what you’re expecting from this short trip back home. In the back of your mind, a part of you is excited to return to your parents’ house, where you grew up and learned how to love and be loved. 

After the train ride, the first thing you do is visit the cemetery. It’s been a year since you last visited and paid your respects. You brushed off a few dried leaves from the grave, and poured water over. “Hi mama, dad. Sorry it took me so long to see you again.” You couldn’t modulate your voice louder than a whisper with the tears that had started to streak down your cheeks. And there at your parents’ grave did you pour all the tears that you thought you had cried. 

All the feelings of hurt, anger, pain, betrayal and most of all guilt came crashing down on you as sob your eyes out. It was only then that you felt you were safe to be vulnerable. Even without their physical presence, your mother and father had always been a source of comfort. 

You kept whispering ‘sorry’s and you don’t even comprehend to whom and for what are you asking for forgiveness and reconciliation. Everything still feels heavy and all you want yo do is curl up and cry yourself dry. “Daddy I-i m-miss y-you… So m-much.” How you wished for your dad to be there. To be there and give you a tight hug and kisses on top of your head. 

Catching your breath, you tried to calm down so you can vent to the empty air. Sniffling you start speaking softly, “Uh… I-i had a terrible argument with Toru daddy.” Verbalizing it only made you tear up again and a lump rise to your throat. Maybe this was what you needed: to be able to freely speak your mind without any external opinion that wouldn’t even help console your feelings.

“And it’s because I… it’s because I don’t want a baby yet…” your eyes shut tight and tears fell with it. “But I do want to be a mom so much… so so much especially if he’s going to be the dad… but I want to be a lawyer to the same extent.”

What stage of grief are you in right now? They say that going through the five stages of grief is non-linear. You could be in the first one: anger, then after a few hours you could have skipped to the third: bargaining. Some would even switch from one stage back to the other. Perhaps you’re in a limbo stage of feeling everything all at once? Is that even possible? 

After crying in silence for what felt like an eternity, you stand up and dust your palms from the jeans you’re wearing. “M’sorry for not getting you guys flowers and forgetting to light some incense… I’ll see you at home…” You give a light touch to your parents’ names engraved on the stone.

The last time you’ve been to the house where you grew up in was the day of your father’s funeral. Entering the threshold once again after many years gave you a feeling of nostalgia. 

You take in the dusty surrounding. All furnitures have been covered by drawsheets and the living room carpet had been rolled off to the side. Everything was almost the way that it was as you’ve last seen it. 

“Mom, dad I’m home.” Only silence greets you, it leaves a bitter taste on your tongue that no one is there to greet you a “welcome home.” But still, you feel better being here. In a sense you know that your dad’s presence is here with you and that’s enough.

You decided to sleep in your parents’ room for the night so you left the luggage by the door and looked for cleaning supplies to tidy and clean the room up. In retrospect, you should’ve brought spare bed sheets and pillowcases, but you decided to simply run them in a nearby laundromat. 

In the living room, you decided to look through photo albums for entertainment.

You’ve lived your life with your dad being the only parent you’ve ever known. Your mom died with the complications of giving birth to you with a weak heart. And your dad tried his best to immortalize your mom through pictures that they took during the whole pregnancy. Here you find the photo album you made of the first year you started college, the same year you met Satoru. 

Coincidentally, snapshots of your relationship weren’t really put here on purpose — well for the first half of it at least. 

Before you left for university your dad gave you one of his film cameras and told you to make and keep memories of college because it’s one to give the most notable memories of your lifetime. You think he was exaggerating then, but it made sense as you grew older.

Flipping the page, you see the first picture you took with Satoru and his group of friends. It was your first year as a university student, taking up literature, and he was in his second year. The only reason your paths had crossed that year was because you wanted to meet new people and make friends… so you attended a party without fully knowing how city kids define parties.

Initially, you attended the freshmen mixer within university grounds and it was fun! You met a sophomore guy who was one of the student council organizers for the networking event. His name was Suguru Geto. He had an aura that was enough for you to trust him… just a little bit though. Throughout the mixer event, you barely interacted with people your age. In your mind, you know it’s because of the fact that you were from the country side… who knows who or what city kids want as a friend right? 

Admittedly, you did enjoy the mixer even if you were just seated at the corner. This went unnoticed to the senior members of the student council, hence, Geto approached you with a light taps on your shoulder. He simply gives a curt smile upon your surprised expression. “Hey, you doin’ good here? I’ve noticed you haven’t been going around talking to people.”

Embarrassing. You then reason out that no one wants to approach you or if you initiate, they usually cut conversations after finding out that you’re new in the metropolitan. “It’s fine though, I’m actually enjoying even if it doesn’t look like it. I just wish I can meet one potential friend.”

Now, Geto isn’t one to take pity in people. He’s got a quite awful attitude underneath his cool and calm demeanor. But somehow, he thinks you need a springboard. It’s out of his character to take strays in, but he does. 

“Every year, after the freshman mixer, my friends and I throw a welcome party for students returning for the semester and for those new as well. If you’re interested, you can come. Just approach me after so I can write the address down.” He quickly bids you goodbye after that. You couldn’t even say a curt ‘thanks’ for his offer. Contemplating if you should go to that party is what plagues your mind as you decided to walk around in case you stumble upon someone who would appreciate talking to you.

So you did approach Geto for the address once the mixer finished… and you ended up in a… house… packed with young adults chugging alcohol, smoking and grinding against each other. You have half a mind to turn back and just enjoy the rest of the night in your small apartment, but you also wanted to experience the liberties of being a college student, namely the drinking and getting wasted privileges.

The loud bass reverberates against the floorboards and the walls of the entryway as you enter. Here you realize that you’re underdressed for the occasion. While other ladies wore micro-mini skirts, tube tops, little black dresses, and what nots, you were still wearing a university-dress code-appropriate outfit from the mixer earlier. You didn’t bother changing your cream skirt that goes just half an inch above your knees, a simple black halter top and a knitted cardigan over it. 

Though you feel awkward and misplaced, you figure that you could find where they get drinks. You suspect that they’re in the kitchen, so off you go. Surprisingly, Geto is there too with a number of people laughing and bickering with each other once you stood by the kitchen entryway. He immediately took notice of you. 

“Hey! Freshie girl you actually came! For one second I thought you wouldn’t.” All eyes went on you the moment he acknowledged your presence. It was agitating to be under their gazes, scrutinizing you, and perhaps the raven-haired boy took notice.

He motions for you to come closer to the kitchen island, “C’mon, what type of drink do you prefer? We have beers, cocktail punches… or are you a hard liquor type of girl?” His eyebrows raise, waiting for your response. “I’ll take the beer, please.” He takes a green bottle from one of the red ice boxes and pops the cap open for you. “Here you go, one bottle.” 

You’ve only drank occasionally. Like during family festivities or birthdays, and those were limited to sips of cheap champagne and traditional sake. “I’ve told you my name but I haven’t caught yours, how do you want us to call you?” he asks before you took a swig of the bottle. You apologize and tell him your name, “Hey guys! This freshie girl right here is  [name]! Be nice to her.” A series of ‘hey’s and curt waves were thrown your way and you slightly bowed your head slightly as encouragement of their greetings. “Well, this is a big party! I hope you meet the potential friends you were expecting from this afternoon.” After that you were left alone as one of the ladies in the group notified everyone of a ‘beer pong’ at the back area of the house, and they left.

The condensation of the beer bottle had transferred to your palm so you looked for paper towels and after that you went ahead back to the crowd and started walking around like a lost puppy. You expected something like this and it felt surreal to experience your first college party. Could be better but not bad for a first time right? 

Surprisingly, the beer was palatable at least, but you start to think that maybe the offer of the cocktail punch could’ve been better. You passed by Geto’s group in hopes of being free from the cramped living room and he sends a small wave and a curt smile your way. You can’t help but silently herald him for being so polite, when his friends (in your assumption) are snobbish. 

Beside Geto Suguru was his best friend, Gojo Satoru, and the raven-haired’s greetings to you didn’t come unnoticed to him. Suguru wasn’t the type to be that friendly, so naturally, it piqued his interest. 

“Who’s that? Didn’t know you were into prude freshmen now?” He scoffs. The raven-haired tossed the ping pong ball, landing inside the far right cup, “I’m not. The girl looks like a lost puppy, felt bad for her that’s all.” Satoru just hums and takes his turn to toss the ball, he misses, and Geto knows it’s on purpose so he just scoffs. “Well, I’ll take a walk around then.”

In a less dense corner of the backyard, you tried angling the film camera so that you’d be in frame. You find that taking pictures of yourself like this is more difficult than if you’d use your phone. But maybe that’s the point of it all. You can hear your father say at the back of your mind. 

“Phone cameras are becoming obsolete now huh?” You look to your side to see who’s come to intrude your bubble and what stands before you must be the prettiest person you’ve seen in your lifetime. Recovering from your surprise, you put the camera down. “Umm, I don’t think so?” He chuckles, “I’m messing with you. I’m Gojo Satoru by the way.” He offers you a hand and you shook it, also telling him your name. 

He offers to snap a picture of you, which you don’t accept because you feel shy. You discover that this man doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer when he lightly grabs your wrist and takes the camera from your grasp. He starts pointing the camera at you, and you stand there in confusion, “well c’mon, strike a pose?”

And you do strike an awkward pose. Maybe this weird but beautiful guy can be your first friend? Or maybe he’s just looking for someone to hook-up with? That’s a common thing at parties… right?

Soon enough after Satoru had broken the ice between you and him, you find yourself back with Geto and his group, where you discover that he and Satoru are best friends. You may be naïve and new to these things but you weren’t stupid. The people in their circle definitely didn’t want you there. As you spent each passing minute in their presence, you piece that together as most of them choose to ignore you apart from the two men who took you under their wing. 

It feels overwhelming having to do too much socializing for one day so you try to bid them goodbyes. Since no one acknowledged, you start to walk away, but someone grabs a hold of your arm. 

“Leaving so soon? You haven’t even used the whole film roll.” He takes it upon himself to open your small shoulder bag and took the camera and raised it up, “Hey guys! say ‘cheese’!” He says as he wraps his arm around your shoulders and you look up the camera with a contorted smile with flushed cheeks. “Well then, see you around campus.”

Expectations always differ from reality because it wasn’t part of yours to keep stumbling across the silver-haired man. You could be in the classics section of the library and he’d coincidentally be there too, or by the university quad where you’d often write your essays and prose, and other unsuspecting places where you’d least expect him to be. At one point you suspected it was intentional but he just brushed it off that you were simply being so observant. 

For the many months that you’ve spent time with him, you enjoyed his presence and completely, laughed at his jokes — saw him as Satoru and not Gojo Satoru, the scion of a multi-billion business empire. 

But you knew to keep things platonic. At the back of your mind, you were certain that he’d never see you more than a friend he met in university. You were almost certain that the moment he gets his degree, you’d never cross paths and all will be part of your college memories. But really, not all expectations become the reality. 

A huge chunk of the student body knew that Gojo was a notorious playboy. This is a false accusation and merely an assumption. Yes, he did like to sleep around but not as much as they say. If anything, Geto’s more of the playboy between them, who’s engaging in different set-ups with different girls almost every week! And he wasn’t able to shield you from the potential bad (false) things you’d hear around. But you weren’t just a notch in his belt. 

He was able to show you a side of him only people he’s extremely close to can see and experience. You caught his interest in that party and never left his mind since. It feels foolish to orchestrate every single time you think you come across him in campus “coincidentally,” but he succeeded.

He used his charms — more like pulled off some strings, to get your schedule and he had everything memorized just so he can get a chance to meet you. Suguru had even called him a stalker for it and maybe he almost became one until you simply expected him to be where you are. Eventually, he got you — even if it took so much work and convincing for you to believe the sincerity of his feelings. 

You’ve always considered him as a friend. A friend who you have feelings for, more like. Your subconscious would always tell you that if he did make a move on you, he’d leave you hanging and bruised. It was a simple push and pull: Satoru would make moves that seem to blur the lines of friendship and you would try your best to keep it platonic and not read into it. You’d always think he’d break your heart eventually, be it as a friend or be it as a lover.

So when you woke up in his bed naked after a long night of drinking and partying, you knew for sure that was the end so you left without a goodbye. Not a single bit of what memories you can recall from the night before were laced with regret. 

When he rested his forehead against yours and kissed you with his soft lips, you didn’t pull away. You wanted to, but you didn’t. When he started touching — caressing you under your dress, you didn’t want him to stop. When he whispered sweet nothings as he plowed through your sopping gummy walls, you didn’t ask him to stop. How could you, when at that very moment it felt as if you’re the only people on this earth.

The boundaries you tried to keep for the past months of your friendship had been crossed the moment you let him kiss and undress you. It was a night of passion you couldn’t forget and regret. With a heavy heart, you walked away and left half your heart with him but with pride and dignity intact. You can’t ever be just one of his conquests if you’re the first to leave.

When Satoru woke up to an empty bed that morning, he was confused. It agitated him to see you nowhere in his suite and it didn’t help that you blocked him from everywhere he could reach you. 

For the following days after that he’d leave class five minutes early so that he can catch you as you leave yours; Or, he’d try to catch you in the places on campus that you’d frequent during your vacant hours but to no avail, no one could ever catch a person who’s avoiding you like the plague. But still he was relentless.

Everyday he’d try to find you in the vast campus of the university. He tried to think how you would so he can anticipate where you’d probably go — was a hit or miss situation. But he was able to catch you in a back staircase made to be an emergency exit in the same building as most of your classes. 

The thought was like an epiphany for him; he was staring at the narrow line of floor to ceiling windows by the back of the buildings when it occurred to him that you initially stayed there in your first days of university. 

Even if he’s the captain of the basketball team, he was quick to leave practice saying some shitty excuse of an emergency, to which his best-friend just rolled his eyes at. He knew exactly why. But he didn’t pry nor try to tell on him. And so Gojo Satoru ran across the campus and skipped steps until he reached the 4th floor landing of the staircase. 

You were mindlessly listening to a posted lecture on your student portal. You’ve been having sleepless nights trying to finish all the writing and literary analyses that was required of you. Eyes drooping and almost falling asleep, you were startled by another person’s presence within the landing. 

It was the single person on campus who you’ve been trying to avoid for the past weeks. It’s the only person who’s taking up a huge space in your mind when you aren’t distracted by your courseworks or classes.

Catching his breath, “y’know- this is a clear breach of building safety codes-” pants “you’re an illegal obstruction to this exit [name].” He stands before you all sweaty and still in his jersey and you couldn’t speak, dumbfounded as you figure out how he managed figure out your hiding place. You were almost successful in avoiding him completely but he just had to chase and look for you. 

“W-what are you doing here??” He drops his duffel bag at the base of the next flight of stairs and sits beside you. “Why have you been avoiding me? You even had me blocked everywhere!” Always the straightforward one, he’d always speak his mind.

This was a confrontation you have been dreading to face — the reason why you had to change where you’d frequent these past weeks. Coming to terms with sleeping with a friend is one thing but having to unpack sleeping with a friend, letting him be your first when you know you have feelings for him is a whole other different conundrum. 

You quickly closed your laptop and fumbled with placing your notebook inside your bag. But before you could even take a leave, he grabbed your laptop and hugged it against his side — one that was away from you. “Give it back Gojo-san.” You can see him frown and pout at what you said. 

So it’s just Gojo now? Not Satoru? How cold. How cruel. You’re such a heartless woman. How could you have it in you to immediately leave seeing him? Did you hate him that much? Why were you being so indifferent when you used to smile and speak with him warmly? 

“No, not when I know you’d leave once I do. Not when you haven’t answered my question.” 

You bit your bottom lip, why is he making this so difficult? You still try to reach for your laptop so you can leave but he just keeps it out of your reach, until you just give up.

“Why does it matter? Can’t I simply be busy with my own life?” You say as calm as you could while avoiding his gaze. 

“Of course you can. I just want to understand why. Didn’t… did… anything from that night mean anything to you?”

And there it is. You hoped to avoid this, truly. But since it fell on your lap out of nowhere, might as well face it right? “Did it mean anything to you?” The way you returned the question took him aback. Your voice was suddenly laced with indifference and he couldn’t place where that should go. 

“Of course. I wouldn’t have initiated that if I didn’t want it to happen.” He tried to hold your hand but you refused his advances. “How can I trust your words Gojo?” 

He’s reeling. He knows where this is going. At this moment he admits that he approached things out of order. He wasn’t able to shield you from the rumors surrounding him and his “dating” history. He shouldn’t have given in to his emotions and took advantage of your drunken vulnerability. “Is that what you think of me? Is that how you see me?” are the only things that come out his mouth. You can’t help but feel guilty when he said that.

It’s true. You believed that there’s some truth to what people say about him and, that, along with your naïveté is enough to make you an easy target for him. You let out a deep sigh. 

“It doesn’t matter. Let’s forget things happened alright? We’re still friends anyway.” Lies. You knew damn well you can’t stay friends with him anymore. 

“No. I don’t want us to be friends anymore.” And there it is. A man of his caliber that has an equally large ego wouldn’t take it lightly — the way you left that morning without him having to put a word in. 

But it takes you by surprise when he goes down a step and squats in front of you so you’d meet eye to eye. “I want you to tell me how you really feel. I want you to tell me why you think I saw you just as a body count.”

“You’re so frustrating Goj-” “Satoru. Call me by my name.” That shut you up. Everything is confusing and frustrating and all you want to do is leave his overbearing presence and cry your frustrations out of his sight.

“Why are you doing this? I’ve already slept with you! Isn’t it like rule number 1 to forget and move on to the next!” He could feel your exasperation the moment you finally looked at him with teary eyes and he only gently stares right back at you with his blue ones. 

“If this is just an ego trip because I left without a word then you can just tell people whatever you want that’s in your favor.” By now tears have started to fall and yet your eye contact remains. He gently thumbs the tears away, “Fuck. You’re killing me sweets. It’s not like that… I’m sorry… don’t cry.” 

It’s weird. It’s unusual. It’s confusing. It’s making your heart beat rapidly and makes your chest feel like it’s going to burst. And the next words that come out his mouth was just the catalyst for your emotions. 

“Listen, to me you’re not just a body count. I wouldn’t go out my way to memorize your schedule down to the last second. If you were just someone I wanted to fuck, I’d have done that at the party.” 

His thumbs caresses the apples of your cheeks and a warm smile grazes his lips, “I did all that because I like you. I took interest in you, for you… I’m sorry for doing things out of order. You have to tell me now if everything I did matters so I know when to back-off.”

The proximity of your faces and the way he holds you like you’re fragile glass makes your heart beat faster than it is. You take off all your inhibitions, all the weight holding you down and connect both your foreheads. It’s a risk but you’ll take it. “I… I like you so much Gojo Satoru.” It doesn’t take him much effort to mesh your lips together in a soft, chaste kiss. 

After a few seconds he breaks away and you completely feel his lips turning into a smirk against yours, “So, the status between us now is girlfriend and boyfriend huh?” 

The memory is fond, as if it happened yesterday and not years ago. From there your relationship wasn’t always sunshines and rainbows but you made it work. You both held on to each other. Love is also sacrifice as much as it’s to be received. You realize that you’d go through all of that again as long as you get to stay with the only man you’ll ever love intensely.

With a newfound sense of rationality, you realize that whatever happens, you’d come back to Satoru. You need to talk things with him in a more peaceful and stable environment. You realize that the only way to fix this is to hit the train the first thing tomorrow morning and go home to your husband.

Tokyo mornings will always be hectic as the crowd bustles to arrive at their offices, schools or whatever they had to do that day. Even if you took the earliest shinkansen that you could catch, the Tokyo crowd will always be there. 

As you ping the elevators down to the lobby, your palms started to sweat and your heart, hammering against your rib cage. But upon entering your shared penthouse, it’s unnervingly quiet and still. “I’m home.” — no answer. 

Leaving the luggage by the door, you immediately patter into your home gym. Considering it’s as early as 9 AM, your husband is probably preoccupied with his workout. With an expectant smile on your face, you walk inside to see no one, not a single trace of movement. Not a single trace of Satoru. 

If you were nervous on the elevator ride up, you’re feeling something similar yet different in your gut. Rushing back to your bags, you rummaged for your phone. Cursing out loud that you left it off for days, you quickly turn it on.

Moments later and your phone is flooded with many missed calls, messages and voicemails from Satoru. 

Lover ♡ 78 missed calls

Lover ♡: baby, I’m off to work. I love you. Call me when you see this. (Tuesday 7:12 AM)

Lover ♡: ugh this meeting is such a bore. I’m so packed with board meetings this week sweets. Hope to see you at home. Miss you. Love u <3 (Wednesday 9:43 AM)

What you weren’t prepared for was 5 missed calls from his father’s secretary with messages requesting you to call back urgently, and Suguru Geto leaving 13 missed calls and a message that made your hands tremble and the phone to fall onto the marble floors.

Geto Suguru: [name], i don’t know where you are but please call me as soon as you see this. Satoru’s been rushed to the hospital. (Friday 12:34 PM)

Your knees follow as well, hitting the hard floors as you silently weep alone. You were in shock. How? What? Why? were the only things running your mind. “It’s not… true?” you try to make yourself believe as you run up to the second floor of the suite, to your bedroom. Your cheeky husband’s just running a prank on you and even got Suguru and his dad’s assistant on board. 

“Toru? Baby?” You say as you see the bed still pristinely made, just as the cleaners would’ve left it last Friday. “Satoru, this is a very bad joke. Come out, I’m not mad I promise.” Tears keep streaming down your cheeks as you make yourself believe in denial. Sooner, you’d call his best friend to ask where he is.

Suguru didn’t need to ring the doorbell for you to open the door for him. He’d already asked you to text him the passcode. It was kinda foresight on his part that you’d be a crying, confused mess so he took the initiative. 

And just as expected, he arrives to see you hiccuping and sobbing alone on the living room floor. He approaches you slowly, “Hey, [name]. I’m here.” 

In his head, he thinks that this situation is royally fucked up. You’re an absolute mess and he’s also a mess. Everyone’s a fucking mess with Satoru lying almost lifeless in a hospital bed and with you who’s yet to find out the state your husband is in.

Quickly wiping you tears and composing yourself, you try your best to greet Suguru, albeit in between sobs. “O-oh, G-geto-san! I-uh didn’t notice you e-enter.” Seeing your state, he decides that you’d need a primer for the events that happened in your absence.

“Have you eaten? I can whip up a quick breakfast for you.” He says as he places his hands on your shoulders and ushers you towards the breakfast counter. 

“I’m fine… I-I’m n-not really h-hungry,” you try to steady your breath and words. The man before you is unrelenting though, he’s already rummaging through the fridge and has had water boiling in the kettle.

“Y’know, I’m usually never this enthusiastic about breakfast but I’m starving!” He turns around with eggs and a few tomatoes in his hands, “would you be a peach and make us warm tea? I already started the kettle.” His warm grin and presence grounds you for a moment and wordlessly follow his request. The raven-haired man huffs a breath of relief seeing you open some of the drawers for tea bags and sweeteners. 

A few moments later, as he tosses the eggs around the pan, you speak again. “Geto-san… Satoru… is he– um, he’s just working on weekends again isn’t he?” Your voice starts to shake as you steep both teas.

Perhaps there’s really no way he can tell his friend, his best friend’s wife, that her husband’s currently comatose for rushing home to catch her. The finishes off the eggs with a dash of salt and turned off the range.

“There’s no soft way I can break this to you [name]…” Only then did you have the courage to look into his eyes. “Satoru’s currently in a coma. He got into a terrible car accident.”

He’s gauging your reaction. He’s purposely omitted the fact that his best friend ran multiple red lights and sped beyond limits because he caught word of you coming home. It would break you, and blame your self as the reason he’s in a vegetative state. “No… N-no you’re kidding… this is just some silly prank he got you in.” You chuckle without a trace of humor. 

The man in front of you wordlessly plates the eggs and stale bread. “C’mon, eat up. I’ll take you to him.”

Suguru was patient enough to help you clean up yourself as he helped you to the bathroom and even got you a fresh set of clothes on the bed. But the gravity of the truth only weighs on you as you sit in the passenger seat and the familiar city streets and the hospital comes into view.

While the elevator lifts you up, your palms start to sweat; as if mirroring the events this morning but with more melancholy than ever. The sterile scent of the hospital is making your stomach sick and all you want to do is throw up.

You never liked being inside the hospital. It serves as a reminder of sadness, grief and death. And right now as Suguru leads you toward the VIP ward, your hands start to tremble and your pace starts to slow down.

Before the raven-haired man opens the door, you quickly grab his wrist, “Geto-san, I-I can’t. I’ll come back when he’s better.” You turn to leave and he is quick to grab your arms to stop you. 

“Hey, I know this is harder for you, more than anyone else, I’m the only one who understands that. But please, for Satoru,” he says with a squeeze to your arms. With tears brimming, you nod, and he let’s one hand go to slide the door open. 

When Suguru thought that this was a royally fucked up situation, he never meant it to snowball into this royally fucked up situation.

The moment after he slid the door open and you entered the room, he’s met by Satoru’s mother. And upon seeing your presence behind him, the woman immediately reached for you to slap you square in the face “You have some gall to show up here!! You witch!! How dare you! How dare you come see my son when you’re the reason he’s here.” 

It all happened so fast that Suguru couldn’t stop the older woman from her rage and protect you from her misplaced anger. But still, he comes between you and Mrs. Gojo, “Auntie, please… not in front of Satoru… not like this… please.”

By that, the older woman’s cold, hatred-filled gaze had befallen Geto. “And you! I’m disappointed! You’re his best friend, how could you bring the very woman that’s the cause of my son’s suffering!”

“I apologize for not informing you beforehand, but she’s his wife. I’m certain that Satoru would want his wife to be here if he were awake.” 

Trying to make yourself smaller, you just stood there shaking and silently crying, not registering how the confrontation is going down. What did she mean that it’s all your fault? You were the cause of all this? What did you do.

You tried to peek a glance out of Suguru’s broad shoulders, only managing to see the foot end of Satoru’s bed and hearing the beeping of various monitors. 

Satoru’s in a coma. Your husband, your lover, is in a partial deathbed because of… you. Bile and guilt rises up, so you did what any coward would’ve done: you ran out.

Hearing the door slide open, Geto quickly turns to look at you only to see you take off. He immediately calls your name and runs off to follow you, his pace increasing as he tries to catch you, and he does.

Before you were able to enter the elevator, a hand grabs your arm which you try to shrug off. “Geto-s-san let go.” The man doesn’t, he wraps you in his arms instead; and there you cry even harder.

Geto feels… sad for you. He couldn’t ever imagine the pain you’re in at this moment as you keep saying ‘I’m sorry’s over and over again, in between your sobs. The best he could do was offer you a hug and pats on your back as you cried hard.

Suguru was kind enough to lead you to the hospital’s roof top garden to take a seat. He just let you cry all your tears, only offering pats on your back and a shoulder to cry on. Sooner the sobs and hiccups die down. Geto stood to get something to drink from the vending machine. 

It seems mundane to sit in silence with the cold lemon beverage in your hand. Except, nothing about this is normal. This is a hospital, your husband is here, unconscious and barely living, and it’s supposedly all your fault. 

By now, no more tears are left to be cried, you’re just staring blankly as if a void has materialized in front of you. “Geto-san, what did she mean by that?”

The man swallows dryly, thinking of ways to ease the information to you. “Hmm… you mean Satoru’s mom?” He tries to play the nonchalant one but your lack of any reaction nor reply tells him that he should just lay everything out in the open.

“Investigations during the day of the crash points to you and him having a conflict… The police said that the circumstantial evidences lead them to believe that he was driving beyond city speed limits distracted.” There’s no reaction from you so he continues.

“The footage on the black box of his car showed that he was talking to someone in haste… That he was trying to call someone repeatedly… It all pointed to you when the call registry log they had retrieved showed 28 missed calls to your number.”

Your nails start to fidget along the rim of the unopened can. So it’s like that. Have you not shut off your phone then you wouldn’t be here in this shithole. Have you just stopped being selfish and texted him of your plans and whereabouts then none of these things would have happened. 

A hand on your shoulder is enough to snap you out from your thought. Turning to Geto, you give him a sad smile, “I’m sorry… I know I’ve been saying that for the past hour… but she’s right…”

The canned drink is taken from you and Geto opens it. “You don’t have to believe that. None of this is your fault. Hell, you weren’t even the one driving that goddamn truck. It was all… just… bad timing.” Geto tries consoling you. It’s true. It’s called an accident for a reason. No one wanted it to happen in the first place. He gets up and you just look at the hand he’s offering. 

“So come, let’s go see Satoru,” he says with a gentle smile. The way you looked down at the drink and sipped on it is so melancholic. Shaking your head, “His mom is probably still there… I should just head home… and come another day…”

The older man just clicks his tongue. “Y’know that shouldn’t stop you from seeing him? You’re literally his wife. Plus, I have a feeling she left the hospital already. When have my hunches ever been wrong?” You resign with a sigh, stood up, and threw away the half empty can. 

Actually, as Geto got you a drink, he already texted Satoru’s father of what had happened. He hoped that it would be enough to take wife off the hospital premises so that you could see your husband.

To yours and Geto’s dismay, Mrs. Gojo didn’t leave just yet. However, she wasn’t alone. Her husband is also in the room when they got there. Seemingly, this quelled the older woman’s anger that she held for you. “Auntie, sir” Geto says and you join him as he offers them a bow. 

You don’t look any of them in the eye. Well, it’s rather difficult and you do have shame. After all, this was mostly your doing that their son is in that state. What shocked you is Seishiro Gojo approaching you; who gave you a brief hug.

“Welcome home [name]. It’s a relief to see you back.” The older man’s voice is stern yet there’s softness underneath. He is the first to welcome you back ever since you stormed out of your home earlier this week, and gosh did it feel so comforting. 

Among all the members of the Gojo clan, apart from Satoru, he treated you the nicest. You’d even say that he welcomed you as a daughter and not just an outsider to the family, even though that only happened after Satoru fought neck and neck with his whole family the day he proposed to you. 

You didn’t know what to say to him so you expressed your gratitude and kept your head low once again. This earned a snide remark from his wife, “Tsk, there’s no point in this farce Shiro.”

“Enough of that nonsense, she is family as much as anyone else in the Gojo family, and we are not doing this in front of Satoru.” It ends at that. Though you know for a fact that Mrs. Gojo will never let it go, ever. Because that’s just the type of woman she is.

After all the not-so-pleasant pleasantries, you finally got to see Satoru as a whole. It pains you to see him hooked to multiple tubes that’s probably there to help him stay alive. He looks paler than he usually is. There’s multiple minor cuts on his cheek, his brows and his chin. His forehead covered by gauze, which you’re assuming he’s suffered a fatal blow to his head. 

The sight made you tear up again. Slowly, you walk towards his bed and with shaky hands, you reach for him. His hand feels warm and you think that’s a good sign. “Hi Satoru, I’m home,” you whisper and a single tear streaks down your cheek.

It takes you a long moment to absorb the feeling of being near him again. At the end of the day, he’s your person as much as you’re his’. 

“I’m home… so…” Your eyelids shut close as you try to anchor yourself in this reality. “Wake up baby… please…” you whisper desperately, clutching his free hand. 

Geto suggested that you stay here for the night as Satoru’s watcher, to which Mr. Gojo had agreed with. His mom was adamant and quick to leave a snide remark but couldn’t really go against the final word of her husband. 

Soon the older couple left. Geto stayed for a while to answer some of your questions and got you take out before going back to the penthouse to get you an exchange of clothes.

As you sat on a stool beside your husband’s sleeping form, you couldn’t help but remember the last time you saw him. He asked, no… he pleaded for you to stay. That’s what probably hurts you the most; he practically begged you to release your anger and pain by hurt him physically so you don’t need to leave. You’d never do it, but now you regret leaving. Fuck. Sleeping in the guest bedroom would’ve given you the solitude you sought that night!

“Satoru… I’m sorry. I’m so… so… sorry I left.” The tears didn’t come as you tried to hold it in. You don’t deserve to cry, not with your husband’s current status. 

Geto returns with a gym bag full of your clothes. He’s met by your hunched sleeping form, hand still clutching Satoru’s. He leaves a note on the bedside table and drapes a thin blanket on your shoulders. He hopes that you can ride the wave and see it through. You’re strong, he’s sure.

Days passed. Weeks passed. 

Unable to commit to a full time at the law firm, you turned in your resignation letter and hoped they can understand the situation you are in. Law school semester continued and you try to juggle it along with looking after Satoru.

It’s been a month since the accident and you’re barely functioning outside the hospital. Partly, the reason for resigning was because you wanted to lessen the time you spent away from Satoru. He can wake up at any moment and you need to be there when he does.

Anyone who knows of your situation would tell you that it’s difficult to balance classes and taking care of your sick husband. It is. But you’d endure this for another year if it means that there is always a chance for him to wake up.

Besides, you plan on finishing this last semester so you can focus more on him. It’s almost mid-sem so it’s just a few more weeks before it’s over. 

Everyday you talk to Satoru about your day. Sometimes you narrate a case that was assigned as a reading material and tell him the process on how you dissect it clause by clause, paragraph by paragraph. It’s futile though. He’s unresponsive. But people always say they can hear us speak to them. It’s never too wrong to try.

Geto drops by weekly to check on both of you. He had suggested you write down your day on a notebook so that when he wakes up, he’d still get filled in on the things he’d missed. His mother often comes as well. You know because flowers are constantly changed and replenished. Albeit, you don’t see her as often. You think she comes in the day when you’re in class.

Some nights are just harder than the others, you’d often wake up by your phone’s alarm, nose dived into your books and laptop after you passed out from studying all night or breaking down as you try to get your readings done.

Day to day life since you came back has been on auto-pilot mode. It’s a cycle of rinse and repeat. You wake up, check on Satoru, attend class, go back, check on Satoru again, study… it just circles back. So it is not a surprise that you passed out on the way to one of the lecture hall your class was held in. 

White popcorn ceilings were the first to register in your line of vision as you opened your eyes. You assume that you’re in the university’s infirmary. You lay there for a few more minutes before the cream curtains are slightly drawn.

“Oh you’re awake! I’m Nurse Minato, you’ve been brought here after you passed out in the hallway… do you remember that?” You simply nod.

She does some physical tests on you to see if you’re still coherent and asks you some questions on your lifestyle, which you all answered truthfully and concisely… except for your monthly cycle.

“Alright, how about your cycle? Notice anything unusual?” She asks, eyes planted on the clipboard and scribbling down things. You remain silent, forehead scrunched down. Things were too hectic for you that you never really noticed if you had it the past 2 and a half months. 

“Um… I’ve been too stressed out lately so I haven’t really noticed. Do you have my bag? I have a tracking app.” The nurse pulls out a caddy from under your bed and hands you your bookbag. 

Opening the app quickly, you see that your cycle prediction show that your period’s been delayed for around 73 days. Now it’s not always accurate, but 73 days is extreme.

“Uh… it says here that I’ve been delayed for 73 days.” With that she stops scribbling and slowly looks up to meet your eyes. She says nothing and gets up to grab something from the cabinet fixtures within the room. 

“Are you sexually active?”

Then it dawns on you. It is highly possible. The last time you had sex with your husband was when he returned from an overseas business trip to France. That was 2 weeks prior to your heated argument. 

“Not at the moment… but I…had last contact with my husband a few months back.” She simply hums and hands you a pregnancy test. “Restroom is at the back. Come back when you’re done okay?”

You stare at the box as if it’s done you wrong. The possibility of pregnancy is actually high considering that night, Satoru asked you to hit it raw until you agreed. You laugh humorlessly. What great timing! The one time you have sex without the condom and he’s able to plant one in you?

Setting a timer, you follow the box instructions and collect your pee sample. Each passing second was agitating and had you shifting your weight from one foot to another, arms hugging your torso. What then if it reads two pink lines? 

The timer blares and echoes in the confined space of the restroom. The irony of it all is that the baby you and Satoru had argued awfully about will be here in a few months. Fuck.

[plounce]

i have a jerk wol idea in the back of my head (he's an m!viera) that is founded on the idea of "what kind of within-reason jerk can still be the warrior of light (and not a total cartoon villain) but have like all the scions justifiably unable to stand him or want to be around him by the endwalker patches via various interpersonal conflicts" (i think this is a reaction to how many "my wol hates the scions and they arent friends and the scions view my wol as an object" concepts i see. like what would the opposite be?). he's very self-centered and kind of vain and sort of callous. he firmly believes that he is the best person in the room and that no problems are ever his fault. bad at working with other people and at collaborating. complains. probably the worst person to make the champion of the world but well you're all stuck with him now because he time-traveled and god knows he's the special boy. timeloop.

anyway i think he and thancred were fwb back in ARR and then picked it back up in HVW patches while thancred was like extremely depressed and miserable and it was very unhealthy for thancred meanwhile [wol] (i dont have a name for him yet) was just like "can you be fun again. god you're so boring now. can you lighten up". anyway flash forward to shb, they meet up again, they're resting in the bookman's shelves before traipsing about il mheg, [wol] and thancred are left alone together as urianger goes and shows the twins where to sleep (ryne goes with). [wol] is like "you cleaned yourself up, excellent, let's resume our arrangement" and thancred is like "oh. uh. sorry. no thanks" and [wol] is like "What? Why." and thancred's like "i'm... spoken for now" "Who." "...urianger. we've grown close." "HIM? that dumpy little thing? pull the other one." "i'm serious." "... you really have let your standards fall since you've been stuck here, huh." "excuse me?" "it's just - (snort) you know. the fancy new outfit doesn't really hide a plain face. and the way he talks..." "i would appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about him like that." "i'm just speaking my mind. being honest. but i guess you're not that into honesty, if you're into that." they almost start yelling but then urianger comes back and is like "... is aught amiss?" and thancred says "no. right?" and [wol] eyerolls and says "i'll just leave you two alone since i'm not wanted" and urianger is just like ??? and thancred is >:/ (they aren't Together Officially yet actually)

i think y'shtola hated his vibes since day 1 and views him as an annoying necessity but mostly keeps that under wraps. during hvw patches he's rude to matoya and she doesn't like that. then she tries to confront him about how he's kind of using thancred but he doesn't react well and he says something kind of shitty about her not being able to see and from then on they both know they dislike each other and it is very chilly between them. they are both self-assured enough to cope fine with it but they never talk about anything outside of Work unless y'shtola is trying to go like "you can't fucking do that, you're being an asshole to my friends" (confrontational and direct personality trait) and he blows her off like Whatever, i know you hate me, im not going to listen to anything you say. i think of all the scions she hates him the most

g'raha i think really idolized him from all the books and stories and thought he was really cool and confident and handsome back during the CT raids and then throughout shb patches and endwalker gets the rose-colored glasses stripped away. the crush dies. [wol] thought he was cute but kind of dumb and thought about starting something up since g'raha seemed willing but never did.

there's more brewing but that's jerkwol

[voidsentprinces]

Shadowbringers took Emet-Selch from ARR Lahabrea levels of mustache twirling, Saturday Morning Cartoon villain. All monologue and evil laughter while his evil boobs malevolently boobed down the Post-Stormblood's darker breast boobily and changed him into an actual character. And the first Ascian who actually spent time with us in a more meaningful way. Flipping them from one note, evil that must be defeated. To one we came to understand and a group that connected to our character's literal past reincarnation that we do not recall.

Additionally, atmospherically, Shadowbringers brought us to Post-Apocalypse that wasn't 28 Days Later, Mad Max or Rapture-esque. While pulling from all those series. Its a world 100 years after the Apocalypse was averted but still causes the world to live in its shadow.

This expansion seems to be the beloved darling of the community. Even topping Heavensward in most regards. But, also, personally, I feel like Shadowbringers is only good Shadowbringers for the last three levels of it. And rest is just so much set dressing and putting together the A-Team. For lack of a better comparison, 70 - 79 is our Avengers Infinity War. We get the band back together, fight off the big bad and actually almost win. But then we lose and we lose HARD and we spend a handful of quests somewhat wandering aimlessly until we resolve to go after the one who took victory away from us. That lead up, to me, is alright but the story didn't really HIT, outside of my long winded story analysis reasons, until we reach Amaurot.

Even its Post-Patches seemed to struggle to figure out what to do. Having Elidibus bounce hither and thither without the Scions really trying to stop him because, "We don't know what he is up to." which was counterproductively frustrating to me. You are literally not stopping and banishing the villain so the plot can happen. Alisaie literally kept tabs on the Warriors of Darkness because we were focusing on dealing with Nidhogg. Why the hell couldn't they have kept tracked and harassed Elidibus at least? But no, the sky starts to shower stars and then it is go time. And while To the Edge and the Seat of Sacrifice are awesome. My suspense of disbelief that our Scions would just shrug and only off screen keep tags on lesser Ascians and then just be like, "I dunno fellas, this here Elidibus is tricky." strikes me as dense. Like, this is denser than a dead star. They let things happen for the sake of it happening.

Bottomline, there is some wiggle room here. Shadowbringers may be the community's darling. But I wonder if, its just because we remember the super highs of Amaurot to Seat of Sacrifice. And kind of brush things like; the Ran'jit fights, the Supernatural problem of Lucifer's Cousin's Roommate being the big bad in Lunar Primals, Thancred's treatment of Ryne and Speedrunning him some redemption in the Amh Araeng second half.

I'm rambling now, as a whole. Did you enjoy Shadowbringers? If not why? Vote your answer and leave your opinion in the tags if you'd like.

Note: I am aware that the Post-Patch production was stunted by the COVID Pandemic. Still, I'd like your opinion about anything you felt lacking. Even with that dead whale hanging over the entire thing.

[ewingstan]

We sort of touched on it in a prior post, but you’ve gotten a fair few details on how Mark and Carol raised Victoria by this point.

From what details you recall, how does her handling/raising of Kenzie fall into compare and contrast with those details?

Wooh. Hm. Well, I think she has Kenzie's ultimate wellbeing in mind more than Carol probably did while raising her and Amy. At the same time, when Victoria's first reaction to Kenzie getting publicly pilloried was "lets get you in front of cameras to argue your case, and also while we're at it lets keep our cape-network plan from falling through by jumping on the public-Scion-reveal grenade" I thought well. Yeah that's something Carol's daughter would think to do huh.

Its a dangerous relationship they're in. Victoria legitimately wants to keep Kenzie safe and stop her from overworking herself. She also really wants this cape group thing to work. She'd probably not consciously let the latter get in the way of the former, but she will let Kenzie fight as a hero if it seems like that's what Kenzie wants. The problem, of course, is that Kenzie wants what Victoria wants. Kenzie will act in whatever way will make the people around her happy, and so if she thinks Victoria wants her to be a hero (which you don't exactly need to be an observation tinker to notice), she's gonna make being a hero her whole thing. Not to mention that Kenzie also knows Ashley wants her to be an active cape, Sveta enjoys being on a hero team, etc....

I'll also say that the way Victoria's treating Chris.... kind of reminds me of how Carol treated Amy growing up? Victoria sees him as her responsibility: he's a member of the group Dr. Yamada asked her to shepherd, and he's a kid, and now that Dr. Yamada's gone that responsibility is even greater. Victoria is burdened with Chris in the same way Marquis burdens Carol with Amy; sure, Victoria does it a lot more voluntarily.... but she's also doing it more because she agreed to care for "the group," not for Chris. Chris is a responsibility that came packaged with what she wanted to do. And while the care she has for Kenzie seems to come from a place of genuine concern and affection, her keeping tabs on Chris feels strictly procedural. She's responsible for him, she'll keep tabs on him, nothing more to it. There's a lot of resentment and some frustration that boils into how Victoria treats Chris as a result. Insert your arrested development "I don't care for Chris" image here.

Hell, despite otherwise having pretty wildly different viewpoints when interacting with people, Victoria ends up resembling Taylor a lot in how she thinks about Chris, because it matches up so well with how Taylor thought about Regent. Its another case of "That guy I'm not as close to as the others, the dangerous one, the one whose probably a sociopath waiting to be let loose." I remember thinking that Chris seemed like "the Regent of the group" in my early reading, but they're really not so alike personality-wise, or even in terms of their place in the team dynamic; they're just positioned the same way in the mind of each text's narrator.

I read Taylor's reaction to Alec as one part fear-response to people who seem to delight in other's pain for no obvious reason, and one part a reaction to all the stuff she doesn't like about herself projected onto some twink in leggings. Her fixation on the idea that Regent must just like hurting people, that its just the kind of person he is, comes from the same scared confusion about why her best friend and the whole of the school started torturing her for no apparent reason. Its a reaction from a person who still categorizes everyone as bullies or victims, and is distressed about whether there's more to that and where she is on the spectrum. In her mind, he's a kinda evil dude that likes to hurt people because hes a bully and that's what bullies are, but actually maybe he's fine to hang around with? Which is getting churned in her head alongside her pledging to protect people by becoming a horrifying warlord and making long arguments to Pariah and Flechette about how villains can be helpful and heroes can be bullies. Taylor's relationship to Alec and her distance from him is symptomatic of her evolving views about who people can be, what power can be used for, and why people act the way they do.

Of course, Taylor conversely forms one of her strongest emotional bonds with someone who reminds her of her bullies even more than Alec does. But I think this makes sense for the same reason Chris and Kenzie could both remind Victoria of Amy but inspire such differing treatment. Bitch's first encounter with Taylor was a seemingly random attack that Taylor directly compares to the trio's assaults: she instinctively looks for a reason to hold back like she did for them, and then finds freedom in not having one. But while Rachel at first seems to directly fit the "bullies because she's a bully" model, Taylor learns pretty early on that Rachel has perfectly understandable reasons for her behavior, and that she can be predicted and made into a close ally if she just pays attention and puts in the work. Taylor's relationship with Alec is her sticking to the idea that the world is bullies and victims, and you have to find your place in it without understanding it because there's nothing more to understand. Taylor's relationship with Rachel, meanwhile, is her finding out the world isn't just bullies doing bad things because they're bad people. Rachel is the possibility of understanding the world, bringing it to heel, learning to love it and make it love you.

Similarly, Victoria's relationship with Chris is a reflection of everything she internalized from the Wretchening, while her relationship with Kenzie is her reacting against those internalized lessons towards something more hopeful. Chris is a medical freak who becomes a horrible misshapen monster on a regular basis and who suffers horribly for it, yet keeps choosing to do so. He's wretchening himself at the slightest provocation—he's impatient to wretchen himself! Add to that how his emotions rule him to the degree that they physically transform him, and that he shows absolutely no desire to reign them in, and its pretty clear why Victoria is often so negative to him. He's a powderkeg waiting to go off in a horrible way like his sister was, filled with strange and offputting desires turned into strange and offputting flesh, and unlike Amy he doesn't even have the decency to shamefully repress it. Chris is Amy as the deviant who qua deviancy will inevitably be a danger to everyone around him. Kenzie, meanwhile, is Amy as the sister who gave too much of herself. Victoria's shown at times that she hasn't forgotten how she loved Amy as a sister, how she wasn't inherently evil. She spoke with regret about not listening to Amy when she begged Victoria not to hug her. And she's pretty much said in-text "I don't want Kenzie, who I love as I once loved my sister, to exhaust herself to the point that she becomes lost in the way my sister did." Victoria looks at Chris and is reminded of all her fears of what strange and dangerous people will do, of her belief that bad people do bad things because their bad people. Victoria looks at Kenzie and remembers that's not true, and that she can do something about it.

[ungrateful-cyborg-moved]

On Minfilia

When you take Minfilia at face value, she’s honestly a good character. And her writing is consistent enough that I can’t completely say that the way the community reacted to her was due to it but at the same time... it kinda is, in my opinion, and most of the arguments given to “hate on her” by people are mis-attributed griefs with the storytelling itself or the gameplay.

(The way some choose to mis-attribute it speak more of those people than of the story or devs, though.)

To me, Minfilia is a just and kind woman, if a bit politically naive, who tries her hardest to fill in the shoes of Louisoix when it’s very much not what she signed up for in creating the Path of the Twelve. It’s a hell of a role to take on at 22 (time of the Calamity, since she’s 27 in ARR) and she did an admirable job with it. You can understand why those who’ve known her for a long time feel like she’s incredible, given the facts.

But if you’re not a Legacy player, you don’t know those stakes, you don’t know her, and she doesn’t know your character either (she recognizes Legacy WoLs from what I've gathered).

So your actual introduction to Minfilia goes like this: you get told by Momodi that a secret organization is interested in hiring you and to go to Vesper Bay. You go there and speak to Tataru.

A summary in two screenshots:

The named Scion depends on where you started: Thancred for Ul'dah, Y'shtola for Limsa, Yda and Papalymo for Gridania. It's not Minfilia who recruits you, it's them. She just gets to make it official because she's the boss and got the last word.

And not only that but you've traveled to the town, then get to pass three doors (and two loading screens) in total before meeting her: to enter the building, to go to the basement and, finally, to enter her office where she's talking to the main Scions.

Which seems entirely trivial but I feel like it create a pre-existing distance before you even get to meet Minfilia.

In the Solar, she introduces herself, then immediately puts some distance between you and her by walking behind her desk—ironically while telling you that you're amongst friends—and starts her speech about the Scions, the Echo, the Primals and the fact that your Echo is especially strong. A speech she ends with this (notice the crossed arms—distance, again):

The next cutscene is about the perks of the job, settling once and for all that your relationship with her, even though she calls you friend, is transactional and hierarchical.

Which is fine, I'm not complaining. But she's our boss, which sets her apart from every other character in the story, Scions included.

The next hours are literally spent executing her orders, going back and forth between Vesper Bay and wherever she sends you (and we didn't have the aetheryte tickets until patch 5.3) until she gets abducted.

We meet quite a lot of NPCs who tell us that she's a great diplomat (something we didn't get to see so far since she doesn't accompany us on our diplomatic mission to talk to the Sylphs about Ramuh) and talented to bring people together (which is probably true but always happens off screen). We don't get to see it until well after they made her go from our boss to a damsel in distress we need to save.

To quote Erenville: first impressions last.

Especially when the story doesn't give you opportunities to change it for hours of gaming time.

She's not as passive as people tend to remember, but they botched her introduction to non-legacy players, in my opinion.

So I can't say it's entirely fair to pretend there's no reason to dislike her, or at least to not care much about her. There are other characters who play a similar role to her up to a point: the Exarch for example. But the Exarch goes, literally, outside to meet with us. We get to see him deal with Ranjit and the threat of Eulmore. By the time he needs saving, we've seen what he can do, even discounting his help in the first dungeon. I don't think he would have received such a warm reception if he'd just been waiting for us passively in the Ocular for the first half of Shadowbringers.

It's worth mentioning that the writers were working on the 1.X patches at the same time they were writing ARR, though. And to me, it feels like they either forgot or didn't care that new players wouldn't have a pre-existing rapport with Minfilia.

After all, Louisoix tells her in one of the short stories to wait for "one who bears the light". When we meet her in the Solar, we doom her: her role was to serve as a bridge between 1.0 and 2.0. To wait for us.

And we're here now.

(I don't think they meant to keep her around, even without the general disliking of her that players had—and that's probably why the twins were here from the start.)

[windupiceheart]

4: reticent

wc. 845, B'ig and Rori, Some time in post-shb

They lie face to face on his bed, close. Rorichaux gently pushes a stray lock of white hair back, out of B’ig Nunh’s face. He looks down at him, his eyeshadow slightly smudged, his eyelashes long— actually they’re quite short, must be his eyeliner. He’s paler than he remembers him being.

He rubs the miqo’te’s ear with thumb. B’ig tilts his head up and leans into his hand. He shuffles closer against him, his hand on his chest. Rorichaux flushes slightly, but tries to calms himself down.

How embarrassing. He wonders if he can feel his heart beating. If he knows that he’s the reason it’s beating so hard. He’ll take it to the grave if he hasn’t already figured it out. He hopes he hasn’t. How long has it been already? He stops thinking about it.

He drags his hand further back and runs his fingers through B’ig’s hair. It’s grown past his shoulders again, around the length it was when they first met.

He fixates on it. White hair, not the few white strands he assumes would be normal for someone in his stressful field, but the majority of his hair is white, only his grown out roots and his ears are still the dark blue colour he was used to. It’s odd, it doesn't feel dyed like his own unnaturally red hair.

“B’ig,” the miqo’te looks up at him, his eyes bright. Now that he’s able to take a closer look, they’re a little bit brighter than they were before, but he couldn’t be sure. It had been quite a while since they last met up. What does catch his attention is the scar that ran down from his chin to his abdomen. This one he’s sure has gotten lighter, more prominent. He remembers B’ig mentioning it starting to fade the year before.

“Rori,” he responds.

“You never told me what happened while you were gone,”

“Ah! I haven’t,” B’ig Nunh’s surprised face is cute. Rori winces from that thought. B’ig doesn’t seem to notice, instead he adjusts himself so he’s lying on his back. “So me, Vertical, and the scions, you know them right? We were taken far, farrrrrr, far, far away. To a different world entirely!”

“Uh huh.”

“It’s true!”

“Okay.”

“It is! So when we were teleported there, I actually landed in a completely different place than Vertical. A place called Eulmore, city of.. pleasures.” He awkwardly smiles.

“Hm…”

“It was wild there. Almost got arrested immediately after waking up. Luckily one of the free citizens kindly covered for me... But he did make me his servant— Wait! It was how things worked there, I swear.”

he raises an eyebrow.

“Really!” Rorichaux keeps looking at him. “Okay, we did also do that stuff, but it was mostly the working thing! They had me sing and dance for my life!”

He continues to stare, B’ig Nunh slightly panicking. “Okay, there was a lot of the other stuff,” he admits

“Was he hot?” Rori rests his cheek on his hand.

“Uhm,” B’ig thinks for a bit. “Yeah, I’d say so, but he’s probably more your type? Middle aged rich Auri man, tall, muscular— did you know they’re not called Au Ra over there, it’s Drahn.”

“Really? Are you just changing the topic.”

“Hehe, yeah. Honestly he was into some intense stuff, could not catch a break. It made me miss you, actually.”

“Are you calling me boring again?” Rorichaux says accusingly, lighthearted, trying not to think too hard into ‘made me miss you’.

“Noooo,” he chuckles. Fuck, too late, he was thinking about it. He turns his head slightly into his pillow, subtlety trying to hide his blushing cheeks, unfortunately failing to realize that his ears also get red. B’ig doesn’t notice or he’s pretending to not notice, either way, Rorichaux was grateful. “Well after I got out of there, me and Vertical went around and killed a bunch of monsters filled with light aether.”

“Is that why your hair’s white?” the elezen picks up a piece of B'ig hair.

B’ig shrinks down and rubs his neck nervously “Ah, yeah…”

Rorichaux feels like he said something he shouldn’t have. He lets go of B’ig’s hair and rests his hand on his shoulder instead. “Then what?” He changes the subject.

B’ig shakes out of it. “Oh and then whenever we beat one of these guys, the night sky came back. It was beautiful!”

“There wasn’t a night sky?”

“Oops, I forgot to mention. They didn’t have a night when we got there because of light aether imbalance. Everything was blindingly bright.”

“Mhm, and then?”

“And then?” B’ig looks down to think again. “I guess we beat them and then got everyone home.”

Rorichaux doesn’t pry, but he accidentally lets a worried smile crawl onto his face. B’ig suddenly takes his hand and puts it on his head.

“Aren’t you glad I’m back though?” he huffs, he has his stupid smile on his face.

Rorichaux grabs a fist full of hair and shakes him around. “Don’t be so full of yourself,”

B’ig laughs.

[rydiathesummoner]

If there's one thing I've improved at while getting older, it's self-reflection and figuring out when I'm being overdramatic about a topic. I liked Dawntrail a lot and had fun, but I did need to reflect a bit with some of my first impressions.

First impression: The Urqopacha trading part was ridiculous, boring, and unrealistic.

After self-reflecting: I grew up poor in a wealthy city. I still have a lot of issues stemming from this. I was annoyed at Wuk Lamat making a fortune from some cotton because that's what people expected from me, even though bootstraps are REALLY heavy and motivational speakers who are all like "I started my fortune from a single cotton seed" are full of shit. That said, no she didn't pull up any magical bootstraps because that not what the feat was about at all. It was about testing her ability learn from her people and adapt to their culture as a potential Dawnservant. Much like the xibruq pibil it was just a contained test. Wuk Lamat didn't become a genius trader overnight at all. My knee-jerk reaction from my own issues colored my opinion. That said, I still think it was boring. I would have liked even some basic "kill monsters" in the middle or something.

First impression: The WoL should have taken Zoraal Ja down when he defeated Gulool Ja. We're literally a walking nuke. We can solve this in 5 minutes.

After reflection: It's easy to infer that Tural isn't looking for Eorzeans to come influence their government or their culture, and that we needed to build up Tural's own warrior of light type person. That said, it was still written poorly. Wuk Lamat could have specified she was wanting mentors only in 6.55 and she was required to do the heavy lifting. Alphinaud could have lectured on the boat that we cannot cause any international incidents while in Tural. He could have given some speech about letting countries resolve their own conflicts without us pushing our beliefs, so Eorzea is not viewed as colonizers. I've learned after decades of office work that if you don't spell things out explicitly, people will interpret even the smallest thing differently. An important concept like non-interference shouldn't have been left up to the player to infer, it should have been explicitly said in the script.

First impression: The scions are written poorly in comparison to previous expansions. Nobody questions ANYTHING. Why have the scions lost their curiosity? People don't ask perfectly reasonable questions like how did Cahciua die? Wouldn't Erenville want to know that? Why didn't anyone take note that there weren't any other mamool ja in Solution 9, so where did Gulool Ja come from, surely someone would at least theorize he's a clone or something? Why didn't Alisae say anything about the levin sickness, she has a lot of experience in people with aether imbalances. In previous expansions Y'shtola would never have politely stayed behind while others explored a new shard. That didn't even make sense.

After reflection: Yeah my opinion here didn't change. I did try considering if I was unfairly comparing to Shadowbringers and Endwalker with its much higher-stakes plot, but nah even taking into account that the scions were taking a backseat in the plot, they still were written out of character for not showing any interest in basic questions.

First impression: Krile was done dirty. Why wasn't her story highlighted more?

After reflection: I don't think this was any malicious intent or that they didn't know what to do with her. I think it was more like Creative Studio 3's current trend of focusing more on building world lore rather than focusing on characters. FFXVI was the exact same way. I didn't give a shit about Northreach rebuilding in FFXVI, Lubor's town, blah blah so I was one of the complainers about the side quests. Same thing happened here, The different regions were... fine? But I missed hearing the thoughts of my friends. You know, the scions. That said, that is strictly my feelings. I am much more of a "characters first" person than a "birds-eye view of the world" person. I accept I may be in the minority on that and I can accept that like FFXVI, I was just not the target demographic. It's possible CS3 has decided that world-building is more profitable. They did give Krile more focus than many others, and taking into account CS3's world focus it was probably enough, just not my personal taste.

First impression: The difficulty spike was too high. I just want to play the story without dying over and over in the dungeons.

After reflection: I'm old. My eyes have never been great. And irl I'm so, SO busy. "Git gud" is no longer an option for me. However, that is not CS3's problem. At some point I'm going to have to accept that I can no longer play this game. Yes that's sad, but part of life is getting older and having to modify your hobbies. Singleplayer game developers are great about adding in accessibility options, I'll just have to back out of this one MMO. I can't expect the young 'uns to put up with an easier game because I can't see the mechanics as quickly as they can, and it's not anyone else's problem that I don't have the time to bash my head against bosses over and over again. 20 years from now the kiddos will have to come to the same realization and the cycle will continue.

[firelightmuse]

I wonder about Yume's conflicting feelings when she first starts to fall for Zenos. Obviously him being an enemy is an issue for her, but is it also because he is the type of man her father would have expected her to marry? Is there an internal conflict with her being attracted to someone her father would approve of (were she not exiled)? Would she want to fight against that and (to rope in ships of hers) would she try convince herself that she wants a "normal" relationship with someone like Cid of G'raha, even though she cannot see them as her equals?

Ohhhhh now THIS is the good stuff! THIS is totally what Yume’s inner conflict is all about!

So, let’s start with a short summary of Yume’s backstory so that the rest of this explanation makes more sense.

Yume was born the eldest daughter of a daimyo (a feudal lord who ruled over a territory in Hingashi), Lord Masanori Aino, and Yume was his heir. He and the rest of the Aino clan raised her to be the ideal samurai, who would be able to beat any opponent in battle. Yume excelled in her studies, and she eventually became one the most powerful warriors in Hingashi.

When she came of age, Lord Aino began the search for his beloved daughter’s suitor, and he had narrowed down his criteria to a very short but nigh impossible list: 1) Must be a son of a prominent noble family, 2) Must be able to sire children, and 3) He must be Yume’s equal in battle, as determined by a 1v1 duel with Yume herself.

The first two criteria were the easy part. But every would be suitor who dueled Yume for a chance to win her hand in marriage was defeated. There were none that proved worthy of her. Yume would soon be banished from her home, stripped of all her power and titles, and would forever be known as a dishonored ronin after she refused to marry her own uncle as was ordered by her father once no worthy suitor was found.

So with all of that in mind, let’s get to Yume’s conflict over Zenos.

As you might’ve surmised by now, Zenos is actually the first person to ever defeat Yume in a 1v1 fight, and extra points for his young age, as Zenos is only two years older than her; so in all respects, if this fight had taken place in Hingashi and Yume was still her father’s heir, then her father would have proclaimed Zenos as Yume’s husband.

This is the biggest reason why Yume can’t stop thinking about Zenos after their first battle, and even though she had never seen his face, she becomes obsessed with him. Her excuse is that she wants to fight him again and beat him next time, but her friends and comrades have never seen Yume obsess over anyone else like this before, and to their perspectives, it’s looking more and more like she wants him for herself.

And can you blame her? This is all she knew growing up as the heir to a powerful lord who values battle prowess over all other virtues. No ordinary man would ever be worthy of her in her family’s eyes, but Zenos… he’s perfect for her. He is the crown prince of Garlemald, legatus of the XIIth Legion, and who rightfully defeated her in battle. He is the perfect man that even Yume herself had always dreamed of marrying someday.

Not to mention that he might very well be her enemy as she is now, as a Scion who has sworn to protect Eorzea from the Garlean Empire, but back in Hingashi, Garlemald was no such enemy. On the contrary, Hingashi and Garlemald were trade partners, and the Garleans were never an enemy to Yume until she arrived in Eorzea. So this doesn’t help Yume one bit in trying to push the thoughts of Zenos out of her mind, as he has become her personal enemy only very recently in her life.

Of course Yume realizes just how problematic her pining for Zenos is, and she knows that she should consider a normal romantic partner, especially when she’s known that Cid had a crush on her in the past, and G’raha has been pining for her for over a hundred years, so she should have given either Cid or G’raha or hell, nearly ANYONE else, a chance.

But it’s just not that simple. The heart wants what the heart wants. Yume will always be a samurai, no matter where in existence she wanders. She will never forget the idea of her ideal husband in her heart. She just can’t stop thinking about what could be if things were different, and if Zenos wasn’t her enemy.

Obviously Yume’s inner conflict gets even worse once she realizes that Zenos has become just as obsessed, or perhaps even more obsessed with her in turn. She can’t help but feel that he is the one that she was destined to be with, and that no one else truly understands her like Zenos does.

And it is this reason that pushes Yume into grabbing Zenos’ hand at the edge of the universe and wills him to teleport back to the Ragnarok with her, saving the life of her enemy, and her only worthy suitor.

Oof, am I the only one who’s getting emotional over this?? 🥺😭 Thank you so much for this absolutely amazing ask @meepsthemiqo!!! Thank you for this my dear friend!! 🥰💖

[myreia]

15 Lines of Dialogue Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well!

thanks for the tag, @thevikingwoman and @bearlytolerant, ty frens!

tagging: @roguelioness @lilas @galadae @ellstersmash @fourteenthz

@tsunael @birues @ardberts @gatheredfates @anneapocalypse

@impossible-rat-babies @coldshrugs @gefiltefished @consulaaris

sorry if you've been tagged before, I have... lost track of who has done what. 😂 No pressure, ofc! 💖 tags also for anyone else who would like to share their writing! Feel free to tag me even if I didn't tag you or even if we're not mutuals, I'd love to see what you're working on!!

These are from published (and one unpublished) ffxiv fics. Because a lot of my favourite Aureia lines happen within the context of banter, I had a hard time deciding what to cut and where.

— 1: Far From Happenstance [ARR]

“What’s that thing on your arm?” “This? Ah… well… Perhaps this conversation is best saved for later, perhaps in a less conspicuous place?” “Or we could have it now. Your choice.”

— 2: Uncertainty [ARR]

“Tailing unsuspecting women about the city is nothing to be proud of.” “I have done nothing of the sort! Our meetings have been no more than happenstance, a quirk of nature drawing us to the same spot at the same time. I assure you, Aureia, I am not following you—” She stifles a snort, laughter tugging at the corners of her lips. “Oh…” He blows out a breath. “Oh, you’re joking? That was a joke. You have an unfair sense of humour…” “Don’t make yourself such an easy target next time.”

— 3: To Ash and Ember [ARR]

Lahabrea stares at her, startled out of his victory, mouth twisted with contempt. “How—” Aureia raises a hand, palm sheathed in blinding light. “Get the fuck out of him, you bastard.”

— 4: Sand and Stone [ARR]

“This is good for us,” she says quietly. “The Scions, I mean. We’re exposed here. Ascians, Garleans… it’s only a matter of time before they try again. Mor Dhona will afford us some means of protection we’ve lost.”

— 5: Bitter Frost [ARR/HW]

“You press on,” she says after a moment. She cups her palm between them, subconsciously pulling on the aether around her. A faint flame sizzles to life, warming her fingers. “Guilt can only carry you so far before it bleeds you dry. Just know that the next time… the next time will be different. Better.”

— 6: Divergence of the Heart, Chp 5 [HW]

“I don’t care what they say about me. I’m a hero to some, a villain to others. I can live with it.” “You should not have to. If there was a way—” “Please, Aymeric, I’m begging you not to draft a new statute on my behalf. You can’t decree change and expect centuries-old beliefs to shift overnight.”

— 7: Divergence of the Heart, Chp 7 [HW]

“Happiness? What makes you think I’m happy with this? With any of this?” “You’re the Warrior of Light. Defender of Eorzea and a beacon of hope. Blessed by Hydaelyn and beloved by all. What possible reason could you have not to be?”  “Oh, fuck you.”

— 8: Divergence of the Heart, Chp 8 [HW]

She blinks. It shouldn’t be more simple than that. Does he not comprehend why this is so profoundly embarrassing? “And..?” “And how would this fact be of such radical importance that it would be the sole cause of a change in my opinion of you? Do you believe it so crucial to your identity that I should judge you differently for it?” “No, I don’t think that at all. I suppose I feel I’m… a failure, somehow. As a person.”

— 9: For All the Truths Left Unspoken [HW]

“Oh? Because you seem a little haggard, Thancred. Why don’t you look me in the eye and tell me what time you went to bed last night. Or if you went to bed at all, for that matter.” “It is not your concern—” “No, but you could have at least done the decency of admitting what was going on before you started fucking my friend.”

— 10: A Question of Desire [HW]

She cuts him off with a kiss. [Aymeric] groans softly, leaning into it, and she laughs with delight. “Save it for later,” she murmurs against his mouth.

— 11: Bound by Faith, Chp 2 [ShB]

“Under pain of further admonishment, I told her what I could.” “Nothing unfavourable, I trust,” she says drolly. “Who do you take me for, Aur?” “An idiot, if I’m being honest. Next question?” “…stumbled right into that one, didn’t I?” “Yes.” Her eyes sparkle with fondness. “You did.”

— 12: Bound by Faith, Chp 2 [ShB]

“There. That’s it. Aureia was a name I took by chance. Not because I wanted it, but because I needed it. An alias intended for Ul’dah alone, one I intended to relinquish the moment I could escape the city. But then you called me Aur and it… stuck.” She hesitates, her voice breaking. “I don’t know why it felt right, but it did. You gave me a name, Thancred, without even realizing that that was what you were doing.”

— 13: Bound by Faith, Chp 4 [ShB]

“They don’t hurt. At least, not like this. Sometimes, with astral fire…” She closes her eyes and swallows hard. “He did something to me, Thancred. Whether it was his intention or not, he left a mark that is more than skin deep. Like a part of his aether was seared onto mine. It makes me powerful, yes, but… my magic is not always controlled. It’s never been the same since then.”

— 14: Untitled Post-5.3. Fic, Chp 2

She glances at him and finds him glaring at her. It’s not a real glare—behind the dark look and mock exasperation is a knowing smile. “She’s taken full reign of the apartment. Mess everywhere. Looks like a tempest went through the place.” “Far too easy to imagine that.” “I don’t know where she gets it from.” “Oh, I know for certain. That’s the influence of your bad habits, not mine—” “I—listen here, you ass—” “Oh, an ass, am I? Bit early to deteriorate to name calling, no?”

— 15: Untitled Post-5.3. Fic, Chp 4

“Aur… that suite I mentioned earlier… I was quite serious about it.” “The suite or the sex you want to have with me in it?” “The whole matter.” She pauses, holding the soup out to him. “You should finish it,” she says quietly.

[strwpup]

YOU 🫵 believe in the dancer emmanellain agenda

reasons why emmanellain de fortemps should transition to dancer as his primary class [several points about the implications for him and sicard at the end]

CANONICALLY emmanellain is very very good at dancing (normal) is it really that hard for him to start dancing (with blades). he would be so good at it he already knows the moves and the vibes

a lot of emmanellain's struggles come with feeling the pressure of being put into a box he does not fit! he's seen as a failure because people didn't see or didn't care about the things he is good at! the firmament quests show he IS good at making allies, he's friends with the redbills, he helped lighten the mood in broken glass! he's great in a social scene, he's perfect for lightening a mood, and i must stress he is CANONICALLY very good at dancing

he HAS grown as a knight, and i'm very proud of my cringefail baby brother, but i think it would be very healing for him to branch out from ishgard and heavy armor to pick up something more freeing (and also he should come to tural with us emmanellain dt sweep)

i could see him fitting in great with the dancer quests

please god we need more PHYSRANGED CHARACTERS in the msq,,,,, ephemie and aenor cockburne i owe you my life,,,, and they are BOTH bards,,,,,,,,, pls the archer to paladin pipeline is ruining the economy and i need dancer and machinist rep

tangentially related YOU 🫵 want emmanellain and sicard to join the b team scions it would be good enrichment for them

emmanellain in neo-ishgardian top of aiming. emmanellain in the lunar envoy aiming gear. emmanellain with the ivalice hairstyle so he still has that hair popping up but he can wear the pretty endwaker dancer relic gear bow. emmanellain happy and spinning around in thavnairian armlets. consider this

okay time to talk about sicard

CANONICALLY emmanellain steals sicard's clothes. sicard wears aiming gear. they could share aiming outfits and emmanellain could wear his boyfriend's pretty v neck into battle instead of the full coverage fortemps armor are you seeing the image

can you imagine how much worse (better) emmsic would be if they were ranged dps boyfriends

overwriting your boyfriend's tactician with shield samba in front of the whole party to prove you're more useful is a love language

sicard walking into the dungeon ready to tease emm about picking him as his dance partner only for emmanellain to dp the tank

:> what's wrong why are you making that face?

i...... i'm dps........... i thought i was dance partner >:(

dps stands for dance partner sicard i cracked the code

sicard feels slighted by this and suddenly starts eating food and using potions from his hotbar and he has the perfect opener to show off how competent he is because he thrives in competition

imagine this. post island sanctuary conversation about responsibility both of them decide to pick up Jobs [tm]. they have a break between contracts and when they meet it's clear that sicard spent some time in ishgard with ilsabard contingent friend stephanivien and got a machinist starter kit and it's clear that emmanellain went to limsa and almost ran away with a traveling dancer troupe

me and my boyfriend and his new six foot tall robot gun mermaid is this anything

thank you for coming to my ted talk vote emmanellain de fortemps for new job change into dancer

[look-oc-prompts]

FFXIV New Adventurer Asks

I've not seen many ask games that dig into a WoL's experiences with MSQ, so here's the first of hopefully many that help to journal out details of their tale, starting from the very beginning. These first ones are fairly detail specific, since they highlight the character's first steps, but the rest will be a little broader. These are also more narrative focused than strictly game-quest mechanics, since realistically our WoLs could have chosen to deal with some situations quite differently!

A. The First Steps

What culture were you raised in, and how connected to it do you feel?

What inspired you to travel, or become an adventurer? Did you set out alone, or with friends/family, or even pet(s)?

What was your first impression of the three major City-States, Ul'dah, Limsa Lominsa, and Gridania? Did these change over time?

Do you feel any particular way about the tavernkeepers, their help in directing you to jobs and the kind of jobs they gave you, and the free lodging they offer?

What was your first impression of your job mentor(s) and companions (whether canon npc or headcanon), whatever profession(s) you started with? Did these change over time?

Which Scion(s) did you meet first and how did you initially feel about them?

How did you feel about your visions of Hydaelyn and her charge to defeat the Dark?

How painful is the Echo to you? Do you appreciate the insight it offers, or is it more uncomfortable, emotionally or physically? Does this change over time?

How did you feel about the Shadowy Figure sending monsters after you, and learning that he was a powerful threat to the city-states? Were you initially motivated to help stop him and stay involved, why or why not?

What did you wear to the High Society gathering, in addition to the culture-specific shoes, mask, or jewelry provided to you? Were you excited to be invited/recognized, or not?

Did you accept the city leader's request to deliver letters to the other heads of state in the Eorzean Alliance? Did you appreciate this task of Envoy, feel belittled by it, or something else? Did you agree with the idea to plan a service in memory of Carteneau?

B. Building a Reputation

Did any (early level) side quests have a particular impact on you? Did you make a habit of helping people with 'adventurer' work, why or why not?

Who did you take with you into Sastasha, or did you enter alone? Did you try to subdue all the pirates, or sneak past them when possible, or something else? Did you find and free the slaves locked up in the side caves? Did you have an opinion on the cowardly captain? The sahagin ambush?

Who did you take with you into Tam-Tara Deepcroft, or did you enter alone? How did you feel about the Lambs of Dalamud worshipping the fallen moon, and summoning voidsent to take vengeance on Eorzeans who opposed it? Did the magic used to seal each ring of the crypt confuse you, or did you know enough about the arcane to dispel them easily? How did you handle the dark, musty passageways, the creatures, voidsent, and homicidal cultists lurking around?

Who did you take with you into Copperbell Mines, or did you enter alone? How did you feel about the twisting mineshafts, rickety elevators, and sheer drops inside the caves? How did you feel about the Giants, did you attack first or try to reason with them? Did you character learn the buried history of the mine - that magic was used to enslave the Giants and they eventually rebelled, leading the Sultanate of Ul'dah to collapse the lower tunnels 300 years ago, trapping them inside?

How did you feel about being invited to join the Scions of the Seventh Dawn? Did you travel to the Waking Sands to hear their pitch? What was your initial impression of Minfilia, and her reveal that she also had the Echo? What did you make of the rest of the Scions?

What did you make of Minfilia's insistence that your Echo was the key to solving the primal problem in Eorzea, and her belief that this was the most serious danger to the city-states? Did you know much about primals beforehand?

Overall, how were you feeling by the time you first agree to go wither the wild rose blooms?

[pulse-oflife]

Prompt #5 // Stamp

Kaitan stared at the pile of letters on the table, unsure at first of what exactly he was looking at. The Lalafell on the other side of the table - Tataru? - had dumped them all there after he had mentioned his sister's name. These were all letters he'd sent - letters he'd addressed to wherever the Scions of the Seventh Dawn had been located, hoping that the mail service would know where to deliver them. He'd never gotten a response, but he'd kept writing in hopes that the Trevelyan he'd heard about really was his presumed deceased sister. Apparently they had made it safely to their destination, but not to the recipient.

"I'm sorry," he said, spending a moment to collect his scattered thoughts, "Why do you have these?"

Tataru unfolded her arms and leaned forward. "The Antecedent and I weren't sure that you were who you said you were." He could see that some of the letters had been opened, presumably to check the contents. "According to all of the information anyone could find, she was the only surviving member of the family." Kaitan flinched a bit at hearing that, hearing that confirmation that his parents and younger siblings had in fact not made it through the Calamity. "You were reported as missing, presumed dead, from the Twin Adders. We had no reason to doubt the report, so when your letters started arriving..." At least she had the grace to look somewhat ashamed. "We decided to hold them and investigate further."

"That can't have taken very long." He gestured towards the pile. "And yet this looks like none of my letters made it to her." Tataru leaned back with a sigh and explained the business in Ul'dah that had driven the Scions to exile and Ishgard. He'd heard some rumors of the sort, but the Gridanian rumor mill hadn't seemed to place much stock in the whole affair. He hadn't either, but reality remained stranger and more awful than anything the bards could dream up. He listened to her story of their time in Ishgard and beyond, though she didn't have as much personal detail to share once his sister had left the city. And of course, once the Scions' name had been cleared, a pile of undelivered letters was the last thing on anyone's mind. Understandable. It stung, but he could understand the logic. "So. What now?"

"She's due back in Ishgard any moment now for a meeting with the Lord Commander," Tataru replied with a small shrug. "His office isn't that far away from here." She smiled at him and made a shooing motion with her hand. "I promise she'll get all the letters!"

Kaitan barely heard the last statement as he bolted out of the small room he'd been staying in, then up the stairs, nearly bowling over an armored Au Ra man who yelled curses after him. It didn't matter - he was going to see his sister.