#but. he just is so mad with grief that it doesnt seem/feel that way

[soliddaddy96]

so freaking depressed right now

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

[ahqkas]

theo with a gf who is just naturally quiet and zones out 24/7.She doesnt even do it purposefully it just happens,and doesnt relaise when people try to get her attention or are speaking to her.She barely talks,mostly to theo,whos her voice but sometimes she zones out when hes talking and he has to bring her back

© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified

THEO HAD ALWAYS FOUND A CERTAIN CHARM IN YOUR QUIET NATURE, a calm amidst the storm of chaos in the world around him. your natural tendency to zone out, to drift away into your own thoughts, was something he had grown accustomed to. he had learned to recognize the distant look in your eyes, the subtle way your focus would slip away from the present moment. and he was completely okay with it.

one rainy afternoon, you both sat by the black lake, the sun hidden behind a bunch of dark clouds as the two of you were nestled under a large umbrella, watching the droplets melt in the lake water. theo was talking about a book he had been currently reading, his voice full with enthusiasm.

“it’s one of shakespeare’s most famous tragedies. it’s about a prince who’s dealing with a lot of grief and anger after his father’s death,” theo paused, glancing over at you to make sure you were following. “his mother, gertrude, marries his uncle claudius really soon after the king’s death. and hamlet, well, he’s not too happy about it.”

you nodded, captivated by the way theo's voice seemed to bring the centuries-old text to life. "he's kind of stuck in this existential crisis," your boyfriend continued, "wondering about life and death, what it all means, you know? there's this famous line, 'to be or not to be, that is the question.' hamlet is contemplating suicide with that, weighing the pain of life against the fear of the unknown after death. i think it has some of truth in it.” the intensity in theo's eyes made it clear how deeply he connected with the story. "it's not just about revenge," he said, leaning in slightly. "it's about his struggle with his own mind. he feigns madness to uncover the truth about his father's death, and in doing so, he spirals into a real state of confusion and despair."

he paused, a small smile playing on his lips. "i've been reading it over and over, trying to understand all the layers. every time i think i've got a handle on it, something new jumps out at me. it's like a puzzle, and i love trying to piece it all together."

the slytherin glanced over at you, only to find that familiar, far-off look in your eyes. you were staring out at the lake, completely lost in your thoughts, the world around you fading into the background, thanks to the sound of rain and theo’s calming voice.

“hey, love,” theo smiled softly at you while to took your hand into his, giving it a little squeeze. “you still there with me?”

you blinked, your focus slowly returning back to the present. your eyes met his, and you offered a small, apologetic smile. "sorry, theo," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "i zoned out again."

he chuckled, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand. "it's alright," he reassured you. "i know you can't help it."

you nodded, feeling a wave of gratitude for his understanding. it was something you deeply appreciated about him — his patience and the way he always knew how to bring you back without making you feel bad about it.

and as the two of you continued in your conversation, theo would occasionally pause to check if you were still with him. not out of annoyance, but out of caring. he had become adept at recognizing the signs, the subtle shifts in your expression that signaled you were drifting away. and each time, he would gently call your name, his voice a tether that guided you back to the present. back to him.

[acewitch-writes]

i dont think remus can be solely blamed for not believing in sirius blindly tho. that doesnt mean that sirius cant be angry, but like, the entirety of the wizarding world was convinced sirius did it both because there were witnesses that heard peter scream how sirius was to blame for james and lily's death, then saw him sirius "kill him", and sirius was driven mad with grief and practically confessing when they arrested him. that doesnt mean it wouldnt be interesting to explore that while recognizing remus' flaws (there's a lot of fics doing that), but like. it's not so black and white. was remus supposed to suspect peter, his other bff and the new martyr? and given that sirius also suspected him, so we can probably infer there was even more going on that we dont know about. idk i think it's more interesting when both characters are both right and wrong at the same time (while holding both accountable AND giving them their rightful moments of anger, ofc, i hate one-sided shit lmao)

I agree! I will defend Remus to my dying breath. There's definitely a LOT more nuance than "Remus should have trusted Sirius."

Remus never had malicious intentions with anything he ever did. When he distanced himself from the Marauders during the war, he had orders from Dumbledore to stay quiet about his secret missions. And I know we all hate Dumbles around here, but Remus respected and revered him and was terrified of disappointing him. So obviously he went along with it.

So now Sirius is starting to suspect him because Remus can never explain his whereabouts. They're fresh out of school, living in a world that hates werewolves and Remus is already struggling enough that James has to support him financially. There's so much story to explore during this short period of time, themes of prejudice and class divisions and discrimination. It makes sense that Sirius would consider the possibility that Remus could be lead astray when the "bad guys" were promising to make life better for werewolves while Remus was fighting for the "good" side that made no such promises.

So no, we can't place all the blame on Remus. He was a kid, too, thrown into a war immediately after school. He knew that he was the only werewolf on the Order's side, and the weight of that must have been overwhelming for REMUS, the coward with a predisposition for running away from his problems (a trait of his that Sirius was probably well aware of, further cementing his belief that Remus could be the traitor).

Remus believing that Sirius could have betrayed James is one thing I really struggle to get my mind around. I like to imagine that some part of him doubted his guilt, but as a werewolf living alone in a society that hates werewolves, recently bereaved of every person he had ever loved, I don't think there was anything Remus could have done even if he was in the right state of mind to do it. Especially not when Dumbledore, the man Remus looked up to the most and the one he would be most likely to address these doubts with, also seemed convinced of Sirius' guilt.

The way the fandom tries to blame one or the other (these days, usually Sirius) for what happened to James and Lily is frustrating. They are both very flawed characters, and they both have things they need to answer for.

I hope this is coherent. I feel like I just rambled in circles.

[ravenkinnie]

cw//text wall of disorganized thoughts

"there has to be sediments of resentment and anger with the way things played out" im so happy you brought this up bcs i really wanna talk ab some of jinx's feelings toward silco that are a bit more complicated like i know she loves him and i wouldnt say she hates him but i think the way she talked ab silco backstabbing vander makes me think that there IS unresolved frustration she has to silco deep down but she blocks that out bcs of guilt and hipocrisy bcs to be upset at silco for leading to the death of her family she herself has to truly face her own sins that lead to her family's death

like oh she thinks silco is unforgivable for killing vander? but she killed mylo&claggor, so is she unforgivable too? and its unbearable for her to think too much about so she doesnt and suppresses it and doesnt get mad at silco for being a killer bcs she is a killer too and he even ends up being one of the very few ppl she loves so dearly but the guilt would still be there tiny and quiet but stubbornly lingering in the crevices of her heart, that inner voice that frowns upon her for loving him battling against other voices that tell her silco is the only person who understands her now and she cannot lose him so just put up with the guilt that eats her up inside bcs in the end she found someone that is just like her.

yea ofc silco himself likely using manipulative mental acrobatics on her has a part in it but jinx has her own heart and mind and that is ultimately the most fascinating element when talking ab these things for me. like thinking ab all this astounds me how messed up their relationship is more than i already knew which is insane but i love them for that!!

exactly exactly you get it

I think honestly jinxs view of vander is so interesting because its so heavily influenced by silco and silco's projection of him and vander on her and vi. I think somewhere in that reddit AMA it was said that jinx doesn't hate vander the way silco does but she thinks he made the wrong choice and I can't believe you can just drop a line like that like the implications of this aren't crazy. there's clearly some guilt or grief there or else he wouldn't be a part of her hallucinations at all but then she believes silco was, in a way, in the right too, the cognitive dissonance of it would make anyone lose their mind. and the way she says that he stabbed vander in the back like he was going to stab her, like obv he stabbed him literally and i dont doubt silco would be like yeah i did that HSHDHJSHS but I wonder if there is an underlying sense there that it was a betrayal, it just wasn't as much of a betrayal as what vander has done to him

and then ofc she does love him and she depends on him emotionally, both because he fostered this dependency and just from a plain position of being his child. and even more so she relates to him, like its clear that a lot of their connection on both sides is projection and kinship, she thinks he is like her. so exactly like you said, except I do think jinx already thinks she is unforgivable and considers herself monstrous to a degree because she's aware of herself but as long as that one person she cares about accepts her as she is she doesn't care. she only starts seeming unsteady in it when vi shows up who, of course, would never accept her as that violent uncaring person. I think they tapped into something so interesting there at the core of this dynamic and its that being loved is addictive enough but being understood and have that be unconditional is a hell of a drug. and silco might be daddy's perfect little manipulator but he's not just her abuser, he's also her enabler first

and obv I'm a silco stannie and I feel like I should disclaim that jinx was ofc a child, she was an abandoned child and then became his child so she will always have less power in this relationship, whatever she was fed she would probably accept, regardless of what dynamic silco would impose on her. but I think it's also true that if he was yk. a less evil person ehshsj this bond wouldn't be so tangled or strong because jinx wouldn't relate to him on this level

[elvesofnoldor]

.

[headcanons-n-shit]

Can I get the ffxiv boys and pining for their s/o?

aw im so weak for pining.....

pining for a not-yet s/o (ff14 boissss)

Thancred

Oh how his heart aches for you. Thancred has always loved easily and deeply, but something about you makes him pause. Makes him look at you, and look at himself, and look at the two of you together, and he yearns for that, but. Hes scared. You live dangerous lives, how could he ask this of you.

Outwardly nothing seems to change. Maybe he touches you a bit more, and his touches linger a little longer. Maybe he laughs a little too loud. Maybe he jumps a little too quickly at any opportunity to go on missions with you, or room with you, or just to spend time with you. But he's a good friend, and he'll keep being a good friend even with his bleeding heart.

Urianger

The chronic sighing type. He likes to watch you, though he'll feel a little like a creep whenever he catches himself. But he likes to watch your hands, your mouth, your eyes. The way you move, especially when youre relaxed. Sometimes Y'shtola will catch him with his chin in his hand, watching you and sighing. She doesnt even need to say anything-- just a single Look and urianger is blushing and stammering excuses.

Ultimately its grief and fear that keep him from seriously contemplating his feelings for you. To lose the great love of his life, and then to watch you throw yourself at danger after danger, at increasingly impossible odds. And you come back every time, but his poor heart just cant handle it.

G'raha

Raha raha raha. All that time locked in solitude with only his thoughts of you to keep him afloat, and now that youre here with him he doesnt know what to do with himself. He wants to spend every moment with you. He doesnt want to overwhelm you. He wants to give you everything you ever could have wanted in the world. He feels like he barely knows you anymore-- and hes falling in love with you all over again.

Outwardly, he spends intense stretches of time with you, and then no matter how hard you look you cant find hide or tail of him. His retreat is the library and its walls of books, and his notebooks where he pours out his feels inbetween pages of actual research. (There are even little doodles. Its adorable.)

Estinien

One of those angy piners. He’s attracted to you and he’s so mad about it. Always glaring at you from across the room-- you wonder what you’ve done to tick him off this time, but in truth your hair just looks cute today or he likes that color top on you. He tries to compliment you, he really does, but it always seems to come out gruff and awkward. The only one who knows the truth of his feelings for a long time is Aymeric, and he has promised never to tell.

The source of his hesitation when it comes to his feelings for you is, ultimately, fear. Of himself. Of his feelings: they’re this thick tangle in his chest, this overwhelming wave that borders on sacrilegious. He loves you, totally and completely, with all his heart and all his devotion, the way he has loved no one but Aymeric and the Fury. He loves you more than Aymeric and the Fury. He loves you as Hraesvelgr loved Shiva, and that? that scares him. but at the same time, who other than the other Azure Dragoon could bear the full flame of his love?

Aymeric

A hopeless romantic, through and through. He wants to buy you flowers and gifts and take you on dates, he wants to gaze longingly into your eyes and maybe even *gasp* hold your hand. But he is also a man married to his work, chained to his station and limited by the perceptions of those around him. Even with him as the the Lord Commander and you as the Warrior of Light, he can’t risk showing you even a fourth of the favoritism he so desires.

But that doesn’t mean he shows you no favoritism. Despite Ishgard’s snowy climate, he always finds a way to make sure there is a vase of flowers in your room when you come to visit. He has the cooks learn all of your favorite foods. He calls you into his office whenever you’re in Ishgard to listen to whatever adventure you’ve last gone on or project you’ve found yourself invested in. By the Fury, the dopey, lovestruck look on his face: it’s a good thing that these meetings are private. And when you’re not in Ishgard, expect to receive many a letter asking about your whereabouts and health.

Haurchefant

Wait are you telling me Haurchefant DOESN’T simp for the WoL in canon?

Jkjk though honestly nothing about his behavior towards you really changes, at least not from your perspective. He falls for you hard and he falls for you fast. He longs to shower you with praise, even moreso than he already does. And gifts: the black de chocobo he gives you is a declaration of the highest order, a practically boastful show of dowry, and in public nonetheless! He’s embarrassed if the WoL isn’t a native Ishgardian and doesn’t realize what kind of display it is-- he’s even more embarrassed if you are, or if you recognize his affections in his actions.

He holds off on making any serious promises because there’s a war going on around you both. He loves you, he does, but duty must come first, his and yours. You’re going to see this through, together, and then maybe, maybe, at duty’s end...

Sidurgu

Oh this sweet boy. Sidurgu already has trouble processing his emotions, you can’t do this to him. Just looking at you makes him feel all warm and squishy. It’s like looking at Rielle or Myste, kinda, the same but different, somehow, worse. he looks at you and he feels all flushed and cool and calm and squirmy and he can’t makes heads or tails of the feeling so he tries to cram it down but he can’t, he just can’t. It keeps clawing its way back up his throat at the absolute worst times. “Love”, the moogles call it, and he hates it, he hates it, and he wants nothing more.

Expect a lot of snappy compliments that at first sound like insults. Maybe he’ll shove a shirt you were looking at in the market or your favorite food wrapped in parchment paper into your arms suddenly and with no explanation and then just flee with his usual panther stalk. He looks so angry when he goes, and you wonder if you’ve done something to tic him off, but the gift is so heartfelt, you’re just as confused as he is.

(Rielle rests her face in her hands. You’re both so stupid and she loves you both so much.)

BONUS

Drillemont

He honestly thought himself too old for this kind of thing, but trust the Warrior of Light to reignite flames where once there had only been ashes. His love for you sparks from a candle flame to a raging inferno, and he is helpless before the blaze. 

He might be too old for pining, but he isn’t too old for courtship, as limited as it is in a place like Whitebrim. Whether you visit rarely or as often as you can, he will always make time for you. To check over you and your equipment and ensure your safety and health, at least. To dine with you and talk, if you’ll allow him. To grant you safety and succor-- in his bed even, if that’s what you desire. He knows you are both bound by duty, that his will hold him rooted here and yours will carry you far, far away. But for you that flame will still burn, and it will warm him even on the darkest, coldest of nights.

[subtle-edge-of-rot]

Some Sinclair asks because I’m curious how other people interpret these plot holes in the movie:

1. Why would the brothers risk their freedom to fulfill the dream of their mother when she’s already dead (so it wouldnt even matter), and abused Bo as a child (at least he’s the only one we know of)? Especially since it’s implied that they may have killed both their parents.

2. When Bo is giving their backstory to Carly, he mentions that Trudy only had TWO sons. What was the point of leaving Lester out, besides so that it could be a plot twist to the audience? It doesnt make sense, it’s not like Bo knew he was a fictional character in a movie and lied for the audiences sake lol. There’s also no sign of him depicted in the wax museum either.

3. Why was Lester so calm at the end of the movie? His brothers are dead, his town burned down, and the place is swarming with cops finding evidence of bodies while he waves to the only two witnesses left as they escape? Was he just accepting that there was nothing he could do? He obviously cared enough about his brothers to help with their scheme, but I find it hard to believe he would just accept that he was about the be arrested.

4. Vincent’s wax chair setup. Its built like it can only cover people in a sitting position, but that would imply all of his figures would have to be sitting then. How does he pose the others? Can the device be moved into different positions? If not then the bodies would have to have some kind of aperture holding them in place, and he then would have to pose them while the wax was still hot enough to be malleable for it to dry in the correct position.

5. Is Vincent actually mute? I see no reason why he would be, his scarring doesn’t affect his vocal cords and I feel like keeping him not talking was just the directors way of making him seem scarier to the audience? Also, not really a question but the CGI used for his scars is so medically inaccurate that it drives me crazy. Again, i feel like it was for shock factor but it just looks sloppy.

6. Why do most people head-cannon Lester living by himself instead of with his bros? There seems to be no reason that would suggest he does if i remember correctly.

Alright I’ll take a stab at this. *cracks knuckles* im no expert but I have thoughts.

1. This is a question I struggle with, and it’s probably why I haven’t written any Sinclair fics. I want to understand their point of view more before I dive in. It all boils down to wanting to please mom, and a release of sadistic feelings and desires. That’s all I can pinpoint it down to.

2. I think he said that Trudy only had to sons simply to protect Lester from any fallout. I hc that Bo and Vince basically raised him and they’re super protective. If anyone is going to go down for their crimes, it’s gonna be the twins, not their little brother—even though he’s also guilty.

3. I think he was kind of relieved that this whole operation finally came to an end. I think all along he wanted his brothers to stop the madness, and just let the town go and move on. I think his relief that this is over overtakes his grief—plus he knows his brothers are free of the shackles of sadism that held them down. Lester is also guilty, don’t get me wrong, but he never participated in the actual act of murder.

4. I’m pretty sure he can switch up positions with his waxing setup, including wire setups that will keep the cadaver’s legs stiff so they can hold their own weight.

5. I talked about this with my beloved Blue anon—Vincent is selectively mute. It’s been found that with twins, sometimes one of them does the talking for both of them, and Vincent let that be Bo. I agree with the scar thing, they could have done better. I work in the medical field—it would look completely different!

6. I’m not really sure. I know some people think he’s more independent, and more comfortable living out in nature—camping or out in a cabin or shed on the property. I personally think he’d stay and live with his brothers—they’re close and Les is the glue that holds them together.

[percydarling]

After Percy apparates the Weasley family stand there trying to process the new information.

Percy had a wife who was a pregnant and they're both dead.

George feels like such an arse for blaming Percy. He doesn't know how to react, he doesn't know what to do or say or anything so he just stands there trying to think of something.

He's been so selfish, thinking only about himself not caring about others feelings and now he had a what, a nephew? No he doesn't because he's dead.

Dead.

Dead.

He hates that word, he hates everything associated with that word. He hates it, hates it, hates it.

George tries to take a deep breath and closes his eyes, he cannot deal with his family right now so he does a Percy and disappears in his(and Fred's) room.

Molly needs to sit down, she really needs to sit down. Her head is throbbing and her heart aching for the dead. She remembers Penelope Clearwater. How can she not?

The 16 yr old Percy had spoken so fondly of his girlfriend then about how he thinks he's in love with her and so worried about letting her down. And now considering the fact that she's now his wife, Molly understands how much he had cherished her.

To think that that sweet girl is now dead doesnt sit right with Molly. It doesn't seem fair.

Percy's son is dead. Her grandson is dead.

Molly lost her son, but she has people around her to help her through the grief but Percy? Percy had noone to help him and that makes her heart ache.

Molly thinks about the grandson she could have had. She thinks about how he would have had Percy's features.

Molly weeps for her daughter-in-law, for her first grandson, but more importantly she weeps for Percy who had to go through all that alone.

Arthur can't comprehend the information. He can't picture it. He doesn't know who Penelope Clearwater, he wish he did. She sounds like a lovely girl.

Sounded, he corrects himself.

Arthur wonders if Penelope was still alive, would Percy and him still be separated, still be fighting? He wonders whether Percy would have come to him for advice on being a father. Arthur wonders about the what ifs but he also knows he has to focus on the now.

He's lost a son, so has Percy. And maybe they can repair their relationship and get over their grief together.

Arthur doesn't cry, he has to be strong for his family but when Percy tells him he was going to name him Lance as a nod to Lancelot, he locks himself in the bathroom and cries softly for the grandson he never had.

Bill is worried, not for Percy but for Fleur and that sounds so selfish but he can't help think about his child. He's pacing around the house, his scars itching and his mind running.

He was supposed to be the elder brother, the one who takes care of them and Percy having to go through that alone, it's a torture. Bill hates himself. He should have done something, said something but nothing. He did nothing.

He's still thinking about it when he feels her hand on his and Fleur just gives him this reassuring smile which relaxes him immediately.

Fleur won't be like Percy's wife. She won't die.

Fleur holds her husband's hand and thinks about her brother-in-law, the one who is different drom others. In some way she feels that they have a bond of being outsiders.

She thinks about the boy she met at the tournament, the look of fear same as hers when she couldn't save Gabrielle. The way he waded into the water towards his brother, all dignity forgotten.

Fleur remembers the boy who was scared for his brother. In a way she understands why Percy left. The Weasley family might look perfect from the outside but she was mistreated as well by her mother-in-law, something that she hasn't yet apologised for.

Losing a child is the worst thing imaginable. Fleur doesn't have a child, but she does have a little sister, who she cared for like a mother, so she understands.

Fleur looks at her stomach thinking about her child, she wishes that it doesn't end up as Percy's. She wishes desperately that she lives and so does she.

Charlie sits on the grass outside and wonders. He never really understood love. Oh sure he understood that his parents and siblings and friends loved him and he loved them back too,but romance? Not his department. He'd rather be with his dragons.

But Charlie does know that mother dragons get extremely depressed when their young die at an early age. It is absolutely awful, they wail and refuse to eat and would rather die with their young than live. Even months later you would see them with their dead young.

And if Percy had managed to go through that absolute hell and not drink himself to a coma, Charlie was proud of him. He really was. On the other hand he was aware that his nephew was dead.

Charlie sits next to Bill and crys softly on his shoulder. Bill's hand on his hair the only comfort.

Ron does what he does best, he tells Harry and Hermione about it because they're his family too and he needs to know how to react.

Hermione is devastated, she knew Penelope at Hogwarts and hearing about her death is a shock. Hermione leaves to be alone and neither Ron nor Harry object. They both understand. Ron felt the same when he heard that Lavendar died.

Harry asks Ron,"Where's Percy?"

Ron shrugs and tells him," He just apparated away."

Harry says he'll find him for Ron and gives him a weak smile and apparates away. Ron thinks he should not have told Harry about this because he knows Harry would think that it's his fault and -

Ron breathes. He does not cry. He should. But the tears won't fall.

What's wrong with him? His brother's fiance is dead, his nephew is dead and he can't even cry for them. It's pathetic.

Maybe he does have an emotional range of a teaspoon.

Ron feels horrible about not feeling horrible. But with so many deaths, he's just tired. He wants to feel good for once and then his brother says this and....

He's a horrible person.

Ron sits in his room of orange and wonders when he'll feel blue.

Ginny doesn't stay with her family, instead she takes her broom and soars into the sky, for fresh air.

The winds in her hair as she maneuvers her broom around trees and going further away from the Burrow so she can escape the madness.

But Penelope Clearwater's face doesn't escape her mind.

And for a minute, Ginny can't breathe..

She flies and lands on the ground, full of life as she glances at the Lovegood cottage on top of the hill.

Luna should know about this. She knew Penelope.

Ginny knew her too.

An 11 year old Ginny had walked in on Percy and her kissing. And it was intense and embarrasing.

No younger sibling should ever see that again.

That same 11 year old Ginny had threatened Penelope to not break Percy's heart and she hadn't.

Her heart died instead.

Ginny is angry at Percy for not telling her, she is angry at herself for not knowing and that anger turns into tears as she realises she's upset.

Penelope was nice to her after the whole first year incident. She even helped her study once. It's just not fair.

Ginny should be used to losing people by now but she's not. Everytime she hears someone is dead, her heart constricts and she realised that the ending of war is not an end to anything.

There is no "happily ever after"

She doesn't even think about the baby. She can't even think of Teddy being an orphan, how can she think about this baby's death?

However it's not just any baby, it's her nephew. She could have been an aunt and there were so many things she could do and-

He's dead, just like his mother who Ginny never had to chance to know about either.

For once, Ginny wishes she could be young again, maybe a toddler or a child, one who still was naive about the world and did not know the aftereffects of the war.

But she's not.

She's old enough to know that her brother needs her right now.

She has to tell Luna about it too. As she glances back at the blue cottage, she thinks to herself, 'not today'.

With determination on her face and sorrow in her heart, Ginny makes her way back to the Burrow.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

[wickedpact]

life's hecticness has finally kinda caught up to me and im just feeling super worn down and im seeking comfort in the old guard and because your blog always sparks joy ive come to you. on the subject of comfort do you have any thoughts on coping mechanisms/ways to comfort themselves the members of the old guard have? and similarly, ways they help comfort the others too? i would love to hear any and all thoughts you might have on the matter <3 - 2ta

in terms of comforting others:

nicky: words. i think its kind of interesting, but every time in the movie we see as character in emotional distress nicky speaks up (its okay nile, tell us, sono qui, everything happens for a reason boss) the only time he breaks this habit is when booker talks about grief in the lab.

booker: we dont rlly see booker explicitly comfort people much but he does seem to tend towards expressions of solidarity or subtle check-ins/expressions of concern (for the former he tells nile about his family, he tells nile big wounds take longer to heal, he reminds andy that ‘this is what you wanted’ and for the latter he asks andy post-stab if shes alright, he tells andy he wont see her again, etc)

hes also quick to (rightfully lmao) accept blame (after the kill floor, when he wont get up when the squad escapes, and the scene where he and andy get captured)

joe: he doesnt do a whole lot of comforting to the non-nicky’s out there interestingly enough. he encourages andy like the others do just after the baklava scene (i know you needed a break but its been over a year boss) he also tends to make little light hearted jokes/comments to lighten the mood sometimes (this plus 'faster than the elevator', etc)

and i suppose one could say him answering nile’s questions during the dinner scene are a type of comfort in itself, tho .. .... his answers arent exactly reassuring lmao

nile: So are you good guys or bad guys?

joe: Depends on the century

(j o s e p h you could have given her a more reassuring answer than that!! altho depending on the person, straight honesty can be very comforting in of itself, and joe prolly knew that andy would dance around nile’s questions and be generally unhelpful)

but additionally joe is a pretty strong protector and worrier about his friends’ well-being. he advocates for finding nile in the train scene and tells the others to ‘cover andy’ when they find out shes mortal

(plus the little touch he does to andy’s back!)

andy: andy’s mileage varies when it comes to comforting (primarily nile of course bc shes the Distressed One in the movie) but a lot of the time she tends towards offering stability and loyalty (me and those three men in there will keep you safe, you’re one of us now we would do the same for you, [to nicky] this changes nothing) which of course makes sense for her. stability and loyalty obviously probably mean so much to andy and as Team Leader shes probably very used to offering those things

nile: nile is more the comfortee than the comforter in the movie for all the obvious reasons, tho i think its interesting that at the end she tells andy ‘youre gonna [spend the time you have left] with us, andy’ not only bc shes delivering that stability/loyalty right back at andy but also bc shes also a leader (in the marines) so she might have a similar situation as andy with offering stability & loyalty as a Leader

being comforted:

nicky: the most notable instance of nicky being upset and getting comforted is obviously the van speech, tho like ive said i doubt joe’s go-to method of comforting nicky is a Speech. tho also (obviously & as ive talked abt a lot) i think he takes a lot of comfort from the idea of destiny/fate and the idea that he and The Lads were all destined to be together. he lomves his friends and hes happy when theyre happy

booker: alcohol.

honestly im not even sure how booker would really like to be comforted/comfort himself besides his given Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms. i think he does take a lot of comfort in his Solidarity with andy tho. considering his ‘that way madness lies’ comment about the immortality and his comment in the comic about ‘whats the purpose of an uncertain immortality?’ and his tendency towards tech, i think he’s the kind of person who likes when things are explainable and logical (and u could say thats a way he foils with nicky i suppose)

joe: him touchy

ive been meaning to make a gifset thats just Joe + Reassurance Through Touch but i keep forgetting about it. hes a very tactile boyo. in the comic while theyre having the nile nightmare joe reaches out and physically grabs nicky’s arm/shoulder in his sleep, like hes subconsciously checking hes still there. he worries So Much about the others (nicky in the armored van, nile in the train scene, andy post-mortality) and their well-being that i think he takes a lot of comfort in knowing all the lads are okay and safe (esp nicky)

andy: like i mentioned i think she likes loyalty and stability, which is obvs something shes had a serious lacking of throughout her life. ik u arent super into the comics but the recent tales through time story about andy went over how she takes comfort in the idea that her axe belonged to her mother once, even if her modern-day axe has had all its parts and pieces replaced so many times its not the axe her mother gave her 7000 yrs ago anymore. however andy still clings to this idea of her axe being her mother’s axe (‘this is the labyrs she held in her hands’). the memory of her family/mother and the stability of having the same axe with her through her history obvs comforts her a lot.

nile: again similarly to andy i feel like loyalty/family comforts nile a lot. she followed her father’s footsteps into the marines and worries about her loyalties to them through the first half of the movie, and tries to go home & thinks about her mom and brother through the whole thing.

(plus, music obvs means a lot to her)

[enderspawn]

ayup lads im still upset abt doomsday fjdsklfjk

lmanberg wasn't irredeemable imo. tommy's exile was prompted mainly by dream and tubbo gave in to prevent a war they werent ready for. butchers army was semi-democratically made (if i remember correctly) and, beyond unrightful execution without trial, arguably HAS a right to try criminals who've acted against the country. yes, there were some issues but it was never beyond reform. quackity was the most corrupt part of the system tbh (like w using butcher army as a way to gain personal power, not as justice for new lmanberg), but without him things like the butchers army likely wouldn't've even existed since tubbo opposed it at first. hell, they were planning another election! an open and fair election for everyone!

but more so than possible lmanberg redemption, ppl acting like its destruction was politically motivated is.. well kind of wrong. maybe partially, but in general i dont think of it as a politically-motived event when you look at every persons motivations.

yes, techno is an anarchist! but 1. a large part of his reason for destroying lmanberg was as revenge against its members (such as the butchers army, and partially feeling betrayed by tommy, "I will repay that injustice 1000 times over") and not due to its existence AS a government and 2. tbh he chose the shittiest form of anarchy: dog-eat-dog, where he doesnt help the individuals empower themselves (admittedly, more so after pogtopia happened) and instead just destroys any power structures they create so that they have to struggle alone to gain power.

i'm sure you can point to feeling betrayed by pogtopia's existence as a reason for techno to not do that again! but like... idk man. if techno as a character was less emotional and reactive, it wasnt too late to try and convince new lmanberg in its formation to abandon its hierarchy instead of immediately turning to withers and destruction. hell, if i remember correctly (though i know its a point of contention and may have been reconned, so ignore if so, but) a few ppl mentioned wanting to coop manburg to get back in power to techno but he ignored them w the idea that they'll "cross that bridge when we come to it". even if thats incorrect, he still did the same thing with tommy before doomsday. he knew the person he allied with did not want the same destruction as him, but instead of trying to convince his ally/allies otherwise, he ignores the issue until its too late and he gets hurt.

i know thats literally just three of c!techno's character flaws, so its pretty damn unlikely to be changed but still something i wanted to mention + bring up, bc its a very valid point when critiquing techno and his actions. his feelings regarding how he was treated by pogtopia was massive in his character and how he treats spreading anarchy: after all, they don't learn via him fighting along side them like brothers (like he said to quackity before their fight). violence is the only universal language they would understand.

c!techno in general as a symbol of anarchy is all abt dismantling, but never about building something new in its place. it means the ppl he helps dont, for lack of a better word, "know better". they make a hierarchy bc its what they know and then techno gets mad they did and destroys it again without ever proposing any kind of compromise. for others, techno's form of anarchy seems like it is solo-people only because they dont know how to have a group in a anarchistic ""techno-approved"" way.

dream was destroying it for personal revenge against the country's existence and to hurt tommy. while yeah you can say that wish for destruction is somewhat political since his grudge goes back to before the revolution, i still say it feels more personal. he doesn't have issue w lmanberg as a government, he has issues w lmanberg due to his own personal ambitions. he wants total control of the server and lmanberg revolts against that hope. plus, destroying lmanberg would help absolutely destroy tommy, which is always a plus for dream who adores harming tommy and sees it as a fun game.

hell, id say PHIL was the most politically motivated, but still a LOT of his motivation is personal first which happened to impact his political opinons (though i admit im incredibly biased towards him/against the other two): he believes people being in positions of power corrupts them (such as wilbur and tubbo) and wanted to remove it to prevent that position harming anyone else. combined with his unresolved grief over losing wilbur and his negative interactions with the butcher army, he ultimately decides to destroy lmanberg itself. remove the source of the issue directly instead of working WITH the citizens to reform away from any kind of direct power. tbh, with past negative experiences, you could say none of the doomsday trio was in a place to work beside lmanberg, but phil is probably the most likely to have (since he was part of lmanberg and (i think??) part of the cabinet briefly). he shows some regret now abt the severity of doomsday, but he doesn't regret he did it because in his eyes he truly needed that hierarchy GONE. a necessary evil. but i doubt hed have that same guilt if they went abt it in a less.... tbh shitty way.

idk man like i said i Hate doomsday, i just. even from an anarchy standpoint its such an ineffective and unsympathic way to deal with it. they dont try to help as people, they help as a destructive force. just remove the source of hierarchy! --and take everyones homes and belongings with it. i sincerely hope w the syndicate moving forward we have more of a empowering the ppl and radicalizing them towards genuine collective anarchy (semi-like pogtopia, in that working with the people) and not just more... "haha government bad blow it up no more government :]]"

[i-am-a-reader-fear-me]

A Percabeth AU where they keep their relationship secret in fear of what their parents might think. (Warning: this goes over both PJO and HoO so it's very long):

The beginning of TLT goes as it should but after Percy is claimed, Annabeth is suddenly meaner and colder.

He remembers the Poseidon/Athena rivalry but doesn't see why they have to hate each other bcuz of their parents.

But Annabeth doesnt relent.

They still go on the quest together bcuz "you are so going to fail without a daughter of Athena."

But they still argue a lot and give poor Grover a satyr migraine.

When they have that bonding moment on the truck, Percy thinks maybe they're sorta friends, but Annabeth proves that wrong later by calling him a "Seaweed Brain" bcuz he's so stupid.

Percy fires back with "Wise Girl" but Annabeth seems to take that as more of a compliment than an insult.

(He doesn't stop calling her that tho)

After Luke betrays Percy, Annabeth's the one that found him after the dryads and she drags him to the infirmary but completely denies caring about him afterwards.

By SoM, Percy is so done with this and goes over to her asking if they could be friends.

Annabeth, who actually would like to be his friend, agrees with reluctancy, saying, "We have to keep it a secret though, or who knows what our parents might do."

Percy agrees.

Grover knows they're friends now cuz of the empathy link, but doesn't say anything.

In TTC, when Annabeth falls off the cliff, he blames himself more than ever, bcuz if they hadn't been fake arguing she might not have been distracted and fallen.

Thalia blames him even more too, and he has to keep his cover and can't tell her he knows it's all his fault.

Nico asks if Annabeth is Percy's girlfriend.

He says no, but he has a funny feeling in his heart.

He goes to the attic to ask the Oracle about Annabeth.

It doesn't answer.

When he thinks Artemis is about to ask Annabeth to join the Hunters, he knows he has to tell her something, even if it meant blowing their cover.

He breathes a sigh of relief when Artemis asks Thalia, and Annabeth is waiting for him to talk with narrowed eyes as if trying to figure out what he wants to say.

He chokes. (~Like doesn't say his feelings, not actually choke lol~)

In BotL, they are totally going out on a secret unofficial movie date but ofc the fiasco with Kelli at Goode happens.

Annabeth gets really jealous when Rachel appears. (Especially since Rachel has more opportunity to go out with Percy bcuz Annabeth and Percy have to pretend to hate each other.)

Percy, ofc, does not realize why in Hades she's acting like she really hates him even though they're in private.

At camp, they're playing Capture the Flag when they stumble on an entrance to the Labyrinth.

They go down to hide from monsters and end up stuck.

It's so dark Annabeth grabs his hand to keep from being separating. (~this is canon, they were holding hands I checked~)

When they find their way back out, it appears almost an hour had gone by when they were sure they were down for a couple minutes.

The campers were searching for the two of them and are immediately suspicious when they find the two alone. Together.

But they forget about that when Clarisse comes and asks about the "hole" they fell into and Annabeth suggests they continue talking in private.

It is then that Annabeth, Percy, Grover, and Tyson go on their quest.

When Annabeth and Percy reach Mount St. Helens they are quickly found out.

Percy tells Annabeth to escape saying he has a plan. (He really doesn't)

She kisses him. (~whaaaaaaaat~)

When she leaves, Percy apparently decides to cause a volcano to erupt. (~ya he doez~)

He lands on Ogygia, while Annabeth, thinking he is dead, goes back to camp, alone.

When she returns, they ask where Percy, Grover, and Tyson are but she refuses to say anything.

They realize what happened.

They have a burning of the shroud ceremony where she doesn't say anything, sitting, her face emotionless, but her heart in turmoil as she listens to Chiron.

That's when Percy crashes the funeral.

Annabeth is outraged.

She pretends it's because "THE WHOLE QUEST IS BEING HELD UP BECAUSE OF YOU! AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING, ENJOYING A VACATION AT PARADISE ISLAND?!?!"

It's really because she was head over heels with worry and grief (while he's off with sOmE imMorTal gOdDeSs) but she can't let anyone know that.

She is certainly not happy when Rachel joins their quest.

(Percy still doesn't get it.)

Before TLO, they are playing Capture the Flag, and the two are on opposite sides. (~in The Demigod Files, the story they find Festus for the first time in~)

Annabeth and Silena capture Percy and Beckendorf and the boys suffer an utter loss. (Were the myrmekes part of the plan? They'll never know.)

Beckendorf and Silena totally know they like each other no matter how much Percy and Annabeth fake it and try to get one of them to ask each other to the Independence Day firework show.

Annabeth does end up asking Percy and they watch the fireworks secretly next to the woods so no one sees them.

They hold hands or something else just as cute idk.

In TLO, when the Battle of Manhattan starts, everyone is surprised when Annabeth let's Percy take the lead.

When she takes the blade for Percy she says it was bcuz "I didn't know it was him!"

"So you would take a blade for anyone if it wasn't Percy?"

"...yes."

But by this time everyone secretly ships Percabeth so no one questions it.

After the war, Percy gives up immortality mostly for her but only those two know it. (And maybe Grover).

Annabeth asks him to meet her in the woods and when he does, she brings him a lumpy blue-colored cake which Tyson helped make. (Bcuz of course Tyson knows that they're secretly friends but Grover told him not to tell anyone).

They kiss, duh.

But then a monster comes out from the woods and they don't want to fight it after they just had a war so they run.

They end up by the lake and Percy pulls Annabeth in to get away from the monster.

Cue best underwater kiss ever.

They date in secret for two months but Percy's mom knows.

When Percy goes missing, Annabeth freaks.

She searches for him everywhere and if anyone asks why she's searching so hard for someone she doesn't even like, she just replies, "He probably just disappeared bcuz it's his turn to do the camp chores and I will not let him slack off," or "Who else am I supposed to use for target practice???"

(None of the campers who'd been in the Titan war buy it.)

In SoN, the only thing Percy remembers is Annabeth, but for some reason, he has this instinct to not tell anyone about her so he doesn't.

In MoA she still judo flips him and acts all mad (which she is) but he still laughs it off and says all sarcastic, "Oh, did the smartass daughter of Athena miss me?"

But he missed her too.

When they go to eat lunch Annabeth and Percy excuse themselves to "go to the bathroom" but they really snuck off to have their own private reunion.

"I missed you so much, Seaweed Brain. Don't ever disappear like that again."

"I'm sorry, Wise Girl. I missed you too."

*kissing*

Later, when Annabeth and Percy sneak off to the Pegasi stables on the Argo II and sleep next to each other.

Frank finds them.

They swear they didn't do anything and threaten Frank into silence.

He can never look at them the same way again though.

When Annabeth has to get the Athena Parthenos, Percy paces the deck of the Argo but says he's not worried about a daughter of Athena.

When she finally gets the statue, he goes down to meet her but she trips and falls into the Pit.

He catches her, but now he's hanging on a ledge.

"Percy, let me go. You can't pull us both up." She whispers, knowing they're too low for the others to hear.

"We're staying together. You're not getting away from me. Never again." He whispers back.

"As long as we're together."

At least in Tartarus, they don't have to pretend they don't absolutely, utterly love each other.

In Blood of Olympus, Percy, Annabeth, and Piper are walking underground to the monster's base in the Parthenon when they see a trident mark in the ground.

Annabeth says it's the place where Poseidon struck the ground.

At this point, Percy turns to Piper and asks, "Can you keep a secret?"

Piper nods.

That's when Percy kisses Annabeth.

When he pulls away, he says, "This is where the rivalry ends….for us, at least."

Piper acts surprised but on the inside she is rAGING bcuz now Leo owes her ten bucks but she can't tell him.

After the Giant war they consider telling their friends, but they're not sure…

Idk how to end this just keep going

Sort of a bonus:

The Hephaestus and Athena cabins worked together to make everyone monster-proof phones (which also correct their dyslexia) and Annabeth and Percy use them all the time to text each other and no one knows.

Jason asks Percy to come to a cafe with some of the others, and Annabeth and Percy are texting the whole time.

Their convo goes something like this:

'hey Annabeth, me, Jason, Frank and some of the others r going to that cafe on 31st street'

'*Jason, Frank, some of the others and I' 'Really? Piper, Hazel, and I are going there too. They mentioned Jason, Frank, and Leo might be there, but not you.'

'weird, they didn't say anything about u either' 'hey wait a sec, Jason's texting on some gc called Operation Get Them Together' 'the other guys' phones r ringing everytime he sends something…'

'What? Operation Get Them Together???'

'yeah'

'....'

'what'

'Oh no.'

'what??? Annabeth????'

'They're trying to set us up.'

'wdym set us up'

'I MEAN, they're TRYING to get us TO GET TOGETHER'

'huh?'

'THEY WANT US TO GO OUT PERCY! YOU KNOW, TO BE A COUPLE???'

'ok okkk u don't have to yell'

'🤦‍♀️'

'so what do we do'

'I think we should go along with it.'

'wait hold on, Jason's asking me who im texting'

'Wait, tell him it's your girlfriend. Just to screw with them.'

'haha yes ur a genius'

'I know.'

Percy tells Jason that he is texting his girlfriend, to which Jason replies by "What?!" and frantically starts typing on the group chat to tell everyone that 'YOU GUYS PERCY SAYS HE HAS A GF ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION!!!'

To which Piper is the first to reply, saying, 'Nah, trust me, keep going with it'

At this point, they reach the cafe, and the boys and girls meet up at a table.

Annabeth, immediately going into acting mode, says, "What is he doing here?"

Percy fires back with a scowl and says, "You didn't tell me she was going to be here. I'm leaving."

Jason stops him tho

Percy and Annabeth sit down at the table, but everyone is still standing.

Piper and Hazel say they have to go to the bathroom and leave.

Jason and Leo say they're going to go order (even tho it's a sit down with a menu and order type of cafe???)

Everyone seems to have some kind of excuse to leave until Percy and Annabeth are left alone.

The two pull out their phones again.

'Seriously? This is their plan? Say we're all going out to eat and then leave the two of us alone?'

'ig' 'what do we do now'

'I don't know.' They're probably spying on us…'

'um is that Reyna, Hazel, and Calypso in the bushes with mud and green war paint on their faces?'

Reyna, Hazel, and Calypso were indeed hiding in the bushes (with binoculars) with mud and green war paint on their faces.

'Wtf?? How'd they do that so fast???' 'And is that Leo and Piper holding newspapers with eyeholes cut through???'

'lol yea...then that eagle flying above us is prolly Frank'

'Jason is hiding in the clouds to your six.'

'where r Nico and Will?'

'I think that's them making out in the bushes.'

'lmaoo im so gonna tease them for that' 'so what do we do now Wise Girl'

'...' 'Follow my lead.'

'k'

Annabeth puts away her phone and stands up.

Percy follows her lead.

She says, "We know you guys are there, just come out. It's not going to work. And we see you too, Nico and Will."

The other demigods come out of their hiding spots (the two who had been called out looking especially sheepish).

"Why not?" Piper says, knowing perfectly well why not.

Percy looks between Annabeth and Piper, and seems to come to a decision.

"Because," he says and goes over to Annabeth and kisses her, "we're already together."

The responses were very diverse.

"What?!"

"I knew it!"

"Leo! My ten bucks. Now."

"Yeah, I walked in on them sleeping together…"

"So we did all this for nothing???"

"Wait, did you say sleeping together?"

They arguing stops as two flashes of light almost blind everyone and two gods appear.

Poseidon and Athena.

For several seconds, the two gods just stare at Percy and Annabeth (who are now holding hands just bcuz)

Then, finally, after what seemed and EXCRUCIATINGLY long time, Poseidon turns to Athena and says:

"I was right, you were wrong, I was RIGHT, you were WRONG, I WAS RIGHT, YOU WERE WRONG, YOU OWE ME FIFTY DRACHMAS BIRD BRAIN"

This was not the reaction the demigods was expecting if you couldn't tell

Athena just scowls and makes a pouch filled with drachmas appear, and throws it at Poseidon.

Poseidon catches it, bringing out what appears to be a phone and starts calling someone.

Athena goes over to Percy and Annabeth.

She looks mad, and Annabeth tries to let go of Percy's hand, panicking, trying to think of a lie, but Percy doesn't let go.

"My daughter is the smartest and best of my children, and as much as I don't approve of this, if she chose you, sea-spawn, she must have a good reason. But if you step one foot out of line, I will have you punished, understood?"

Athena addresses this to Percy, who nods fearfully.

"Good."

Suddenly there are a bunch more flashes of light as more gods appear bcuz apparently, Poseidon wanted everyone to see that he was right and Athena was wrong.

Ofc chaos ensues.

But Percy and Annabeth are still holding hands and look at each other and feel overwhelmingly happy for the first time in a long time because now they don't have to keep their relationship a secret anymore.

THE END~

WTF HAVE I WRITTEN.

[ketchup-monthly]

Sanders Sides D&D 2

Ooh fresh take: Jan is virge’s patron and that’s why there’s beef

Also: Jan is some sort of fae related being

Jan: i need you to do something for me Virgil: no Janus: that's not how this works!! Virgil: watch me :P

Okay so I was thinking of Patton as a cleric cuz ooh healer however, Patton as a Druid makes me so happy

I want logan to have Rage

(Also that could tie nicely in an arc about Logan learning to accept feelings)

but barbarian logan is going to be a scholar again and is gonna be smort

bc hes logan. he cant be not smart

Oh I figured he’d be the bbeg that eventually joins the party (hurt/comfort baybee!)(Remus)

he was the bbeg but then joined the party as a bardbarian or just a bard

plus, actual bard who accidentally casts vicious mockery instead of bardic inspiration

Side note: please include a scene where Remus attempts to seduce the dragon

also with this second au, i can start them at like level 5 so people can multiclass

Pat as cleric/druid

gasp logan as artificer/barbarian

janus sorcerer/rogue

because basically everything but alchemist would work well with barbarian, but alchemist feels very Logan

bc mad scientist being actually mad

alchemist logan making an experimental potion and going "here im not sure what this does but im sure its fine! someone drink it"

Remus does it voluntarily, but Logan usually tries to get Roman to drink it

Virgil will occasionally drink it when he's on his last legs and is just like.....100% done with the party

remus as a wild magic path barbarian and just fucking teleporting or doing something equally ridiculous whenever he rages

Oh my god Remus with rage would be a force to be reckoned with

You gotta describe the first time he goes into a rage really dramatically

obviously virgil is trying to "escape" his patron, Janus (really just do whatever he says to not do out of spite)

Eldritch knight roman

Feywild warlock virgil

hey so in the second d&d au, should roman and remus be actual full siblings but like remus went darkside and like romans just trying to get back at him for putting a dark stain on the family name

hey hey hey what about warforged Logan? (essentially a robot)(so like "i dont feel anything" becoming real)

okay hear me out. elf roman and elf base simic hybrid remus. so like maybe the reason remus went darkside was experimentation? so like. hes elf but special

FALLEN AASIMAR VIRGIL

virgil just transforming in the middle of a combat scenario and like his eyes turn into black pits and flightless skeletal wings appear on his back and like everyone near him has to make a charisma check and like he deals extra necrotic damage

Pat is the one human stuck in a band of misfits

so with it, roman would be a full elf, and remus would be an elf that has tentacles bc octopus

So robot logan

i meant literally he doesnt feel anything

like he has all the emotions, but he doesnt physically feel the need to like eat or sleep or stuff like that

he just.....he pretend he don't have the feelings.....but he do.....he feel so much and he hides it all in his littol mechanical heart <3

plus......if he warforged, then like.....AC huge

he stands in front of friends.....he protecc...."no, i don't have feelings, i am physically incapable of affection" but he do!! he do! he take hits for them because he do!! he care so much

Bro he spouts all this and then he uses a reaction to dive in front of someone and everyone’s just like oh

LIKE ROMAN STILL BEING MEAN TO LO BC HE THINKS HE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE A HEART BUT HE DOES

hey hey everyone needs to grow

and logan standing up for himself and other people stepping in and saying no stop thats not right

plus if canon wont give me roman facing the consequences of his actions towards Logan......

but also Roman learning how to properly handle his own emotions and how he interacts with others

logan who doesn't view himself as anything more than a machine to be useful to others

the party giving logan love and affection until he slowly learns his own worth as a person

Roman and Logan not getting along (maybe Roman has a Lore reason to distrust Warforged, maybe not) and slowly learning to trust each other

when Logan is feeling real down or having some issue, Roman actually comes through to help him, showing how far both characters have come

Okay yes but also can we please give Roman more confidence than canon? Like I’m sooooo sick of low self esteem being played for laughs or just being really really sad

this boy is going on a mission and will slap his brother upside the head and tell him to shut tf up remus youre not a monster just come back home and he will do it alone if need be

OKAY SO WHAT IF HE ORIGINALLY WENT ON THE QUEST JUST TO STOP REMUS ONCE AND FOR ALL BC ROMAN THOUGHT HE WAS A MONSTER, BUT ALONG THE WAY, AND AFTER LOGAN, HE CAME TO REALIZE THAT NO, JUST BECAUSE REMUS (AND LOGAN) ARE DIFFERENT, THEY ARENT MONSTERS, JUST DIFFERENT

AND LIKE IN THE FINAL PUSH TO MAKE REMUS JOIN BACK WITH HIS BROTHER, ROMAN IS PROJECTING HIS OWN FEELINGS ONTO REMUS AND EVERYONE IS LIKE WOW BRO YOU GOOD THERE, BUT ITS A BIG MOMENT FOR LOGAN, ROMAN, AND REMUS

im unsure as to how, but it happened when he was an older teen/young adult. a simic scientist either picked him (read: kidnapped), or remus volunteered (potentially to escape court life, unaware what exactly the experiment was going to do to him physically

bc also, remus and roman are royalty

so like. how best to get at the nobes/royalty/rich famous people than by turning their kid into a monster

wait, wait, wait, because i'm lowkey a sucker for this trope, but i'm not sure if it fits Remus: the experiments left him with some fairly significant physical pain/uncontrolled magical reactions. through some combo of trying to deal with that and trying find a cure for his pain, he keeps like....absolutely wrecking random towns on accident but also deliberately wrecking certain places looking for either a) vengeance on the guy(s) responsible or b) someone who can make the pain stop

SO LIKE. WILD MAGIC BARBARIAN DOING WEIRD SHIT TO HIM WHENEVER HE RAGES

AND LOGAN COULD MAYBE HELP WITH THE PAIN AND SHIT

BC ALCHEMY

Yknow, for simplification purposes, we could say the True Bbeg just gave Remus lycanthropy and Remus hasn’t managed to control it yet

lycanthropy but simic shit?

Mr. I-Don't-Have-Feelings sees the poor dude in pain and also Roman in emotional pain from seeing his brother in pain and is absolutely like "i must resolve this like right now, immediately" because he definitely doesn't hate seeing his friend suffering, or his friend's brother whom he's just met

he definitely doesn't relate at all to the idea of someone else shaping your body and absolutely does not sympathize with Remus's plight

i was thinking the grappling thing and either manta glide or the ability to breathe underwater for the simic stuff, but like he doesnt have control over the tentacles yet?

Manta glide seems like we could have fun battle scenes

he just jumps off a cliff to avoid mushy talk/dealing with his actions/roman

Roman: Remus just because you're a monster and though i wish i was an only child-- Remus, jumping off a cliff: byyeeeeee Patton: Roman, look what you did! Virgil: dammit jan what did you do? Janus: why do you think i had anything to do with that? im a fae, not a genie Logan, thinking: what an asshole. i wish i could do that

oh my god Logan always being tired mentally bc he cant sleep

Oh my gosh I love that. So Remus got kidnapped super young, (from royal family) they never found him, as a result Roman had to grow up super fast (side effect: lowkey inconsiderate and forgets to ask for others input). Meanwhile, Remus was experimented on by True Bbeg and came out with some trauma and super cool additives

yep! chronic pain and ptsd and all sorts of other shit!

so like, simic hybrids are usually created when they're adults. but what if the true bbeg decided to go younger to see what would happen, and thats why remus has chronic pain and stuff

he was still growing when his genes were spliced, so hes dealing with growth plates shifting and his body maturing and puberty and body changes and stuff

Pat is going to have a lighthearted story. Im saying that now. Hes the one without all the baggage

Sure, but his parents have to lowkey be the really kind people who are surprisingly always down for violence

everyone: multiple crises Pat: y'all need help Pat: love and affection in spades for his little band of misfits

Patton (which I think would be pretty simple, honestly he might just see danger and jump in and suddenly everyone in the party has Feelings)

Logan

Mhm. So how did he grow up? Was he just poof created? Wait

What if he was created by the king?

To make up for remuss disappearance

wait, wait....angst......he was created to fight (hence the barbarian stuff) but alchemy is his real passion

wait so like. a second son???

hes there to replace remus?

Yea! (But like in a sympathetic grief way) But that causes a bit of a complex in Roman and ergo Roman and Logan have a bit of a beef

okay so like. hes there to be a companion for roman, and like take remus' place, even though hes not actually in line for the throne?

LOGAN AS A KNIGHT

and just......the conflict of being created for a specific purpose (plus being, you know, robot and technically incapable of deviated from said purpose) vs the fact that he actually does have independent consciousness and like....wants to live life for himself

the parents made Logan a barbarian in hopes that him and Roman would be safe

okay. so logan was created by the king with the sole purpose to take remus' place as romans brother/companion, and to be his like guard? protector? and fight, but logan wants to be an alchemist and study shit

wait, wait, wait.....thinks about Asimov's Laws

he.....his first operative is protect (specifically protect Roman)

oh man. so hes literally just a shield

his second level operative is just like.....care for Roman's emotional well-being, but he doesn't really know emotions because he was kinda just spawned and nobody told him how

and he just....kind of....lets Roman treat him like garbage and take all his grief out on him because he's staunchly in denial of both having feelings or knowing how they work

Anyway Yea so Logan created by royal family in place of Remus which created angst between the two “brothers” and identity issues in Logan. Their arcs are learning how to healthily process emotions plus Roman apology and Logan commits to alchemy

So big question: why did virge make a deal?

Tricked

he gave janus his name

and instead of janus like killing him or whatever the fae do to people who break the rules of dealing with the fae, jan was like. hey. i'll give you magic, but do what i say

Janus is lawful neutral, but leans towards being selfish

hes self serving, but he has a strong set of morals and rules he follows

Tho I want to Virgil to also not be pushover so let’s say loophole happened and Jan has to stay with virge (hence why Jan is a part of the party)

okay so a couple of the rules are dont give a fae your true name and don't try to figure out their true name

So

what if virgil accidentally gave up part of his true name, and got stuck in the deal, but then figured out janus' true name

so in the same vein that janus had control over virgil, virgil now has more control over janus

he still gets his magic from janus, so he cant break free completely, but virgil has more freedom and can occasionally tell janus what to do or when to shove it

there should a running gag where virge can explain how he learned Jan’s true name but Jan can make something loudly censor him every time

(he learned his name bc once he heard janus practicing his evil genius voice and talking to himself in the mirror and janus said his true name)

so maybe janus sent virgil on the quest to protect a town or stop something related to remus, but virgil dragged him along

he might just be trying to protect a town thats close to a ley line, or something fae-related, and they just happen upon the whole thing

janus is selfish. but lawful vs chaotic is where he comes through, in morals vs doing whatever. janus has a strong set of loyalties to the fae, and to himself

so like....Remus is just too close to Jan's stuff and he wants to take him down

Virgil is just like....exhausted and said "fine, but if i gotta do this, you're coming, too"

or at least figure out a way to protect his place, even if it doesnt mean fully taking out remus. just moving him would work for jan

Janus: virgilllllllllll hes going to mess up my magic storage locker Virgil: Jan, its empty Janus: but its mine

Yea. Remus attacks a city away from the fae: Jan: Yknow I’m gonna sit this one out Virge: oh no you don’t, get up

Or

Janus vs Janice

so his real name is Janus, but Virgil calls him Janice

Virgil: This is Janice Janice: with a “U-S” Virgil: mhm, sure Jan

I'm a big fan of just like any of the old theory name being various aliases for Jan

Damien, Dante, Ethan, Declan, etc, etc

[lovelyfinch]

my summary of ranboo’s story of his character from his stream

copied from my 5 page google doc i wrote instead of doing homework

this starts at the beginning and goes until 1hr 28 minutes into the stream

(i think i got basically everything he said)

joined the server, killed by dream, received a small tour from niki

the next day, he got a tour from tubbo, president of lmanburg. they talked about how ranboo was also running for president

shaped his first thoughts on lmanburg. that it was a good place.

finding michael with tubbo!

meets tommy! tommy tells him about george and ranboo agrees to burn down georges house (in order to not make enemies since he thought they had more than him)

niki and puffy were on a date and they tried to sneakily get past (asking niki for her armor, not suspicious at all)

tommy and ranboo grief georges house, accidentally burning it down. they ran from it, thinking they got away.

puffy asks if ranboo did it. ranboo couldn’t remember and doesn’t know why.

dream started building the walls on lmanburg

dream shows them georges house, destroyed. tommy gets blamed, ranboo is questioned bc puffy says she saw him. tubbo kills ranboo with the spoon (not canon)

the meeting hall to meet with dream. 

THE MINUTES MAN OF LMANBURG - tasked with taking the notes for the meeting

there was a pig man watching the meeting

the meeting did not go well. tommy brings out spirit against dream. dream played along but didn’t truly care, only caring for the disks.

tommy stood up for ranboo at the trial. they asked ranboo about it and he said his memory was bad but they cut him off. he never said he didnt remember the burning, only that his memory was bad.

being the minutes man gave him the idea to make the first Do Not Read book, writing who to trust and not trust

dream tubbo tommy quackity and fundy on the wall. tommy being taken away for some reason. the exile.

ranboo felt guilty because tommy wasn’t the only one who destroyed george’s house.

things in lmanburg were going great, he had a house and pets and was the minutes man and technically part of the cabinet

feeling guilty, he visits tommy in exile a few times. ranboo could tell something was off with him, with dream. so he wrote letters to tommy, trying to understand what he was going through in exile.

things were good, he built the ice cream shop with fundy

one day ranboo was approached whilst writing in his memory book. quackity tells him that techno is a traitor, the reason things are bad. and that they were gonna go get him and bring him to justice. which ranboo thought meant a trial and such.

the first butcher army meeting. ranboo is confused by it, the bloody butcher outfits. 

traitors are bad right? can’t have traitors

the butcher army went to technos place. ranboo shot a few arrows, maybe intentionally missing “he is a person still”

q gets carl and so techno agrees to go with the army

the execution. no trial. techno gets executed but survived.

phil, who saved ranboo from lava, who ranboo liked, gets put on house arrest. phil is mad at the army but ranboo was saying how he didnt think itd just be an execution. so the two are on even/neutral grounds.

ranboo talks to ghostbur, who calls him an aaron burr. they go to the snow, to technos. techno immediately tries to kill ranboo, who was just part of the butcher army. threatens him until he gives back all his armor.

tommy was at technos too. with techno. ranboo is surprised and writes it in his memory book.

ranboo goes back to lmanburg. realizes he just betrayed the entire butcher army by giving the armor back and saying he doesnt know where tommy is.

he kept seeing techno and tommy around lmanburg with dogs for some reason

he was kind of on both sides, techno/tommys and lmanburgs. he doesnt want to choose so he decides to help everyone

the festival plan to try to kill dream. ranboo spent time making festival games (the trident game!)

dream arrives and starts building the wall again

before the festival ranboo met with techno and tommy.

the community house was blown up. gone. 

according to dream it was techno and tommy.

dream says hes gonna blow up lmanburg again. techno joins him. blow it all the way to bedrock.

dream calls ranboo out as a traitor in front of everyone. dream has ranboos book. the first memory book. which ranboo had lost a few days prior, and found somewhere he didn’t put it. it had been moved. dream gives it to tubbo

THE PANIC ROOM. a place for him to think. the water outside providing a white noise. 

ranboo realizes that he kept choosing sides. he decides to choose people.

ranboo wonders how dream had his memory book

he checks the memory book and just finds the smile. the first smile. “all that was left is a smile”

that book becomes the second memory book.

the destruction of lmanburg on the horizon, they band together to attempt to stop it.

he speaks out. there are lots of people watching him

eye contact. he lashes out at people, as his judgement is impaired

he goes back to the panic room

the dream voice. a voice that is him but sounds like dream. it tells him that by trying to help everyone he has just betrayed everyone. ranboo doesn’t believe the voice because all he did was give techno his armor under pressure, right?

he decides the best thing to do is help the people who have helped him. lmanburg. 

but the first memory book is still missing

“it was time for doomsday”

they thought they still had time to save lmanburg. but then they heard explosions and withers.

lmanburg. “it was falling. it was gone”

people were suddenly switching sides and in the chaos of the destruction ranboo hears techno ask “what’s this do not read book”

ranboo runs to techno to get the book, techno has it. techno gave him the book and told him to get out of there, that he has no issue with him. techno showed ranboo mercy when he could have killed him

ranboo doesnt know where he stands with the destruction of lmanburg. so he watched. “watched as lmanburg fell”

he talks with fundy, with quackity, after the fall. fundy seemed off. quackity seemed to forgive ranboo, having read the book and changed his mind.

ranboo didn’t know what to do

“someone came in and asked me if i was okay. phil. phil realized that when he blew up everything” that ranboo was one of the few who lived in lmanburg and had no more home. phil offers him a place to stay, with him and techno

the situation is awkward at first but they get through it

MELLOHI

ranboo hears mellohi. “a disk from somewhere far away” “it was from the panic room”

he goes back to the panic room. “why was i hearing this from all the way over there” and takes out the disk. but then “an old friend came back. the voice.” 

but this time with more to say. that he was more of a traitor than he thought. the voice tells him that he has been helping dream the entire time. but that he just didn’t remember that. that he had something to do with the community house and other things on the server.

the voice wasnt dream. it was what he thought was himself trying to fill the gaps with memories.

he denies the voices claims. “you have no proof”

the voice says to mine an obsidian block. behind it are two pieces of tnt. 

he still doesnt believe the voice

ranboo is very confused. did he do it? did he not?

the disk war. tommy and tubbo had begun to prepare.

“the disks were very important right?”

“and then i just… lived. for a while.”

“for the first time in a while, happy. and that was good”

and so he decides that he is done. “done with living in fear of the dream voice”

and so he goes to the dream voice

“the dream voice said, hey? you literally have a disk”

“there’s no way i could have a disk right?”

but the voice says that he hid it. he met with dream. so he searched. and he found a disk. the disk. in a chest under his house. 

“so then i realized. something’s going on. there must be a reason why i cant remember these visits with dream, right?”

he “had been sleepwalking of sorts but that was a problem for another day”

time for the disk war. everyone thought that both tommy and tubbo would die

(he forgets what happens next? canon? idk)

dream was now in prison.

he decides to call the sleepwalking state enderwalking

everything was good. except the egg, but “we don’t gotta care about that”

ranboo has the “good idea” to visit dream

so he visits the prison. everything went normally. except “dream told me exactly what i didnt want to hear. apparently i had been visiting dream. i had been talking to dream.”

“and apparently i was one of his best friends”

and dream hands him his own memory book. the entire chest was filled with memory books.

“dream disappeared. and the prison started to crumble. and i guess the entire prison visit was just the dream voice but even worse”

so he didnt know what to do “i guess i’ll keep my head down. i didn’t really do much during that time”

but he needed to visit the prison again. “for real. to actually get closure”

he gets in to the lobby. sam asks his questions. and asks when the last time he visited. “and of course i havent visited before. so i said this is my first time.” and sam said “very funny” and tells him he has visited before. 

“i had technically visited the prison in the enderwalk. i asked sam to show me the books and they were written in ender”

he looked through the memory books, the three he had now. nothing showed that he had visited before. “there must have been a fourth book”

“i dont know what the fourth book is. and i still dont know where it is to this day”

“the fourth book wasnt a memory book. it was a book of the enderwalk” so he’s searching for it

he tried but nothing worked.

“i guess i was just kind of living. i noticed my tools on lower durability and my beacon had gone missing”

“the best thing to do is just live”

visiting snowchester a lot

done cool things with techno. techno was his friend now

“i was happy”

building the bee n boo, got married for tax reasons. 

the news. “after saving michael we got news. tommy had died. tommy was dead.”

the grieving stage.

one day ranboo decided to just relax. and then he sees niki. “what was niki doing at me techno and phils house?”

decided to be “extra stealthy” and watch out the window

techno asks him about anarchy, and ranboo says “that sounds good”

ranboo “had become part of something called the syndicate” which seemed to be for conflict resolution

tells the syndicate tommy died

tommy was alive? “somehow tommy was still alive. how? how is that possible?” 

and then something happened. ranboo gets brought to a room. with two shrines and a hallway. with everything people value.

he started to remember. to hear things. 

“so dream had a revive book. he was trying to control the server by using everyones loved things against them”

he doesnt remember when punz and everyone came and saved tommy and tubbo from being killed by dream

dream had to be stopped “before he could bring back the villains”

he has michael to protect now

tommy approaches while he is with tubbo. and ranboo agrees with tommy. they build that tower

talks with ghostbur “and he seemed like he didnt want to go, which was interesting”

“so right now im trying to kill dream”

but the enderwalk is still an issue. he needs to figure out how to stop the enderwalk. “it hasnt happened in a while, right?”

the reason he is doing everything is to make sure his adopted son, michael, is safe.

and that is the story so far.

[wasflypaw]

C!Dream c!Dream c!Dream I wanna hear your thoughts on him but be nicer and more morally gray pwease just for me 🥺 He needs to be punished but I really want a slow burn redemption arc tbh

C!Dream... confuses me

He's an interesting character and it's always exciting to see him log onto the server to see what he'll do

At first I thought he genuinely did want what's best for the server and everyone in it (because at first his rules were No Stealing, No Griefing) but then I noticed him doing stuff to escalate chaos rather than fix it

I was fully on L'Manberg's side during the revolution (simply because I thought they were cool lol back then I didnt look too far into intentions or ideals or anything) but the more I looked into it after the more I understood why Dream was so mad at them

L'Manberg Did claim land that wasnt theirs for a drug empire but they fought for it and Dream let them have it. During the war Dream blew up Tommy's base twice, blew up L'Manberg and burned down Tubbo's base. It was during war but like, the other side wasnt nearly as violent and they stated their ideals were to fight with words, no weapons and no violence.

Dream seemed to stop caring about people stealing and griefing after the war. I think he realized just how chaotic and hard to control the server is and joined in himself, sneakily escalating conflicts rather than trying to fix them (my main example of this one is leading Fundy and Niki to Sapnap's pets, telling them "you didnt hear it from me" and then telling Sapnap "oh no Fundy and Niki killed your pets" and "ill look away, do what you feel you have to" when Sapnap was gonna kill Fundy's Enderman)

Even before the L'Manberg war Dream was trying to pick fights with Tommy (example 1 - When Tommy and Fundy were vibing to music discs and Dream logged on just to try to steal the music discs and kill the mobs they were using to make them. Example 2 - when Tommy was trying to have a chill stream mining Blackstone and Dream decided to follow him around and pour lava on him) but I just took this as him messing with Tommy because Tommy messes with him

He confuses me because he does things fairly then turns around and attacks anyway. It's like two different people. He fairly traded the discs with Tommy but then turned around and tried killing him for them back despite this.

Dream got more chaotic as time went on. He started creating more problems than he was trying to fix. Using /kill when Tommy hit him with the Minecart which started The Railway Skirmish, randomly deciding to taunt Tommy with Mellohi during an unrelated scene which lead to Tommy fighting for his disc back when it wasnt previously a disc war. He keeps saying Tommy starts conflicts, which he does, but Dream isnt free of blame either. He keeps taunting Tommy, he keeps provoking him, he WANTS Tommy to start conflicts and encourages it. (Mainly because its entertaining I assume)

Dream ignores every issue everyone else makes on the server (Fundy starting a civil war in L'Manberg vs Eret and Karl and trying to scam his way out of it, the Pet War and everything that happened around the same time where literally everybody was at eachothers throats, where Tubbo and Ponk burned eachothers houses down, when Sapnap burned down Punz's house, etc) if it doesnt involve Tommy. He doesnt seem to care about conflicts that dont involve either him or Tommy because it messes with his whole "Tommy starts every issue on the server" statement.

Dream's character got incredibly confusing to me around the Pogtopia arc. At first he endorsed Schlatt and gave him a weapon to murder his enemies but when Schlatt won he turned around and helped Tommy and gave him items and he seemed genuinely confused when Wilbur said the Old L'Manberg wasnt coming back. I thought he had started to care about Tommy, Wilbur and L'Manberg but he turned around again and sided with Schlatt (I do wonder what Schlatt gave him..) and went WILD during the finale, cheering when it blew up and helping slaughter people and using extra TNT. Maybe this is around the time he stopped caring about everything on the server besides the discs? When he offered to help Tommy fight Schlatt and sided with him when his pet was murdered I thought Dream had genuinely started to care about him but further actions prove otherwise... Maybe he does in his own twisted way?

He exiled Tommy for rebelling against him a lot and griefing the king but let Quackity off when Quackity did the same thing and even Quackity had started rebelling against Dream. Quackity no longer listens to Dream, claiming he's pulling the strings. Dream doesnt like Tommy for not listening to him but doesnt really bat an eye at Quackity saying the same stuff. What does he have against Tommy? Why is he so biased against Tommy? Quackity's in a position where more people are going to listen to his Anti Dream stuff but Dream STILL cares more about dealing with Tommy ..

He keeps saying stuff but doing the exact opposite, his actions don't match his words and it's so confusing. Like saying he wants to unite the server while also paying for a prison to be built

I would kill to know what's going on in his head and WHY he did what he did to Tommy and WHY he causes so much chaos if he wants the server to be a Big Happy Family like he says. What are your intentions, mysterious green man?

Dream is the perfect example of the Dream SMP - a chaotic server with a chaotic creator. He's just as chaotic as the rest of them lol

[kate-read-that]

I posted something about Lisa's evolution in the story, and it got me thinking more and more so heres my development of Lisa along the books (partially inspired by that Dimitri POV fanfic I posted a while ago and that i 100% recommend):

I honestly think Lissa didn't consider Rose a perdon with feelings if her own, independent of her, until Dimitri got transformed into a strigoi.

Wait a second. Hear me out.

She loved Rose. She loved her as much as she had loved her brother. But they were different. Her brother was the future of the Dragomir family, he was the son to be proud of, everyone knew he'd do great things.

Rose was her guardian. Her damphir. Born and raised to protect her, no matter what. Ever since she was a little girl she knew Rose would be hers.

She didn't even consider that to be a bad thing, or twisted in any way.

But then Rose asks Lisa to bring Dimitri back from the death. She knows it would be dangerous to Lisa, that it would take a mental and physical toll on her, but she doesn't seem to mind right then. All she can think of is bringing that damphir back.

Lisa sees, for the first time in her life, how Rose puts her needs, and someone else's, before hers. Rose would put Lisa's health in danger to bring that Guardian back.

Lisa doesnt like that.

But as time goes by, she thinks Rose has forgotten it. Lisa believes Rose will get over it, just like with Mason, and everything will go back to normal in some months.

But then Rose leaves. She doesnt tell Lisa. She doesnt even want to tell her goodbye. She doesnt know when she'll be back, or if she will at all. Lisa begs, cries, gets angry, and even tries to use coertion on her, but to no use. Rose leaves her.

And Lisa hates her. She loves Rose, but she hates her for leaving her. How dare her. Rose is Lisa's damphir, her guardian. Lisa misses her so mad its like she's lacking a limb. Or was. Now, Lisa doesnt need her. She makes a new moroi friend and learns to live different. She drinks and parties and tells herself she could never do those things if Rose was there, so its good she's somewhere else.

As time goes by, Lisa loses Christian. And her other friends seem to fade away as well. Let them, she thinks. If she could survive Rose's abandonment, she can deal with whatever, and she's got a new, better friend that doesn't stop her from getting what she wants.

Until her new friend tries to kill her.

Rose is there. Lisa has no idea how, but Rose saves her life once again, and promises she'll be back soon. She's done what she needs to do.

So Lisa sits and waits for her, and as she waits she thinks. A lot. She thinks about Rose, and Christian, and her damphir and moroi friends. And realises, with no little surprise, that she's let Rose's life disappear under hers, as if her feelings and needs where not as important as her own.

She's always claimed she considered Rose a sister, but she's been treating her as a servant.

Lisa hates herself. Then she cries a lot. And then she remembers Rose face when she begged Lisa to bring Belikov back. Lisa thought she knew Rose better than anyone, but she didnt see Rose was in love with him, she didnt know she was hiding, and she didnt know how to make her feel better when he got bitten. She just let her alone in her pain and grief.

She cried again.

And then she promised herself that, no matter what, she would be Rose's equal from now then. She would treat her like the sister Rose had always been and she'd do anything for her, just like Rose had for years.

So, of course, when Rose finds a way to bring his loved one back from the strigoi, how could Lisa stand back and do nothing?

When she stakes Dimitri, she thinks he'll kill her. But she smiles, because she's doing it for the only person that's been beside her all along. As spirit fuels her, she believes this is the way she wants to die.

Making her sister happy.