WRONG ANSWERS ONLY TAG
What it says on the tin. Made for the creative writer in mind, but anyone could play. Truth welcomed, but keep in mind the sole rule of the game is absurdity. Answer unwisely.
1 - What’s your problem?
It all started in the summer of 1990, on a spicy August Wednesday morning. 97's ice skating accident was when my problem truly manifested. I wasn't physically harmed, but was visually assaulted. Threw an all bean chili onto one of the performers outfits because it was god damn ugly. This deep-seated hateration exacerbated with the invention of the Croc in 2002.
2 - Define Fanfiction to an adult who hasn’t heard of it before.
It's not smashing a pair of barbies' non-genitals together, but it's not-not smashing a pair of barbies' non-genitals together. People write it mostly to see their favorites rest in ways they desperately want to (i.e. sleeping whilst cuddled up in someones arms, sleeping soundly next to someone who is safe, sleeping after highly aerobic sex, sleeping next to someone who is the opposite of you heat/cold wise, sleeping with no work the next day, sleeping for a week in way that seems like you're not okay but you are just mind your damn business).
3 - What is the next epoch for the human race?
Floating stuff. Not enough hovering things yet. I want to live over the ocean and yet.
4 - There’s a big ass lake to cross and there are three boats. Two of them can fit three people. One of them could fit two. There are nine people. How do you get everyone across?
Tie the last person to one of them and have them float on their back on the water very, very still until you've all floated across.
5 - How was cheese discovered?
Some ancient hindu dude was eating, and got a lil bit of the lemon they were squeezing onto their roti and gravy into their cup of milk. they were like 'damn, bro, that was my milk' but also like, went to go get more milk. but check this out, they forgot it. and when they came back like days later. that shit was all separated. and because they didn't like waste, they spread a little bit it on their lunch. turns out that shit was fire.
6 - What makes a good film or television show?
Laugh tracks when there are no intentionally funny scenes.
7 - Tell us what hill(s) you would/will you die on.
That bus was right to hit Regina George, but it could have done it in a more tactful way. Also that fucking door had room for Jack too.
8 - What does the person who tagged you do for leisure?
Yodeling competitions during the weekends, and on most nights I write black out poetry using @lt right wing news websites.
9 - Who was tumblr created for?
The strong, the brave and the neurodivergent. People who wear their wednesday chonies on thursday.
10 - What happens after we die?
Hell and heaven aren't single places. Goodness and evil have always existed on a spectrum and so does the place they plop you in once you've shimmied out of your meat suit. They, of course, are a committee of drag queens who rate your outfits, runway walk, and attitude through your living years and place you in a environment you deserve.
11 - How many continents are there and what are their names?
Seven continents named: California, North California, Ice California, South-East California, California to the Left, California Down Under, and California: Reloaded.
12 -Who was your favorite side character from Martin Scorsese’s 1973 cult classic, Gonchorov?
Sebastian Butterbee - The cafe attendant everyone important told their woes to throughout the film. Turned out that he'd been selling their secrets in exchange for really neat exotic houseplants.
13 - What’s the real way to spell Ashley?
Yeah, everyone gets this wrong. It's Azhli.
14 - What do pets do when their human pals aren’t home?
They cosplay and host dungeons and dragons night for their pals on the block of course.
15 - Tell us how to survive a tornado.
First step is take one for the gram. Second step is drive the fuck out of tornado country. Warn no one because Darwin.
16 - How did you and your closest friends meet?
The heist. I was a socialite and budding actress who had a lot of time and money. They wanted some sort of necklace that I couldn't have cared less about but hired me to wear it to the met gala to aide them in their quest. It was neat.
17 - Describe the perfect date.
August 1st through 31st.
18 - What are some common mistake(s)/misconception(s) people make/have about you?
People assume I'm not listening to them on facetime because I am often looking at myself. But I AM listening. It's called multitasking, beb.
19 - Tell us a secret you’re suppose to keep to your grave.
My friend once told me that they truly didn't believe Ohio was a real place.
20 - How tall are you?
14 beer cans or roughly 4.5 of p@nera breads new green goddess caprese melt (/not spon lmao)
21 - Define: swap meet.
It's that thing people do after connecting on dating apps.
22 - What’s at the ocean floor?
Dead billionaires apparently
23 - Beyoncé once (answer) an entire (answer) during (answer), then went on like it was nothing.
ate - crawdad boil - the super bowl half-time show
24 - What do you consider red flags?
People who have an aversion to potato dishes (i won't TAG ANYONE BUT COUGH), crocs, and those who cannot merge onto the highway.
25 - If the person who tagged you were to get famous, what would they be known for?
Arson - but the first one was an accident and the second was because nobody complimented my hair in 24 hours.
high pressure tags - @normyreedus @greenlikethesea @leatafandom @katiedora @sparklyslug @dallae @tolkientrash @onirislanding @happylilthought @stevethehairington @quarble @quiriusblack @steddielations @melonberri @graveyardlilies @loudsnapdragon @spikeymarshmallows @steviebats
and **anyone** who comes across this who thinks this is silly and neat. please tag me because I'd love to hear how equally unhinged you are. :)
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After listening to the album on repeat for months too long, I've come to the conclusion that "Midnights" was written for Asami. It feels like each song was written just for her, with the different songs reflecting different aspects and times in her life.
(Keep in mind this is 100% my own headcanons and opinions of Asami and her experiences with like a smidge of projection probably.)
Lavender Haze
This one is an Irosami track, as are so many on this album. Asami's reputation took some damage after the scandal with her father. Dating a general of the United Forces and heir of the Fire Nation throne with a reputation like hers would definitely cause ripples. But Iroh wouldn't care about that or what anyone else had to say.
Memorable lines:
I've been under scrutiny (yeah oh yeah)
You handle it beautifully (yeah oh yeah)
No deal, the 1950s shit they want from me.
The only kind of girl they see is a one night or a wife.
They're bringing up my history (yeah oh yeah)
But you weren't even listening.
I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say.
Maroon
This one feels like a Masami track to me. The beginning, the middle, and the end — the vibes fit with them so well. Their relationship was doomed from the start, but they had it in the first half, until it all fell apart.
Memorable lines:
When the silence came, we were shaking blind and hazy
How the hell did we lose sight of us again?
Sobbin' with your head in your hands
Ain't that the way shit always ends?
You were standin' hollow-eyed in the hallway
Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us
I feel you no matter what
The rubies that I gave up
Anti-Hero
God, how is this not an Asami song? Every lyric seems perfectly crafted for her (from the iconic “it’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me” to “sometimes it feels like everybody is a sexy baby, and I’m the monster on the hill”) it is one of two songs I consider her ultimate anthems (between this and “The Man” from Lover). Her friends treat her like garbage for the better half of 3 seasons, everyone is doubting her, but she’s carrying on through all the trauma and turmoil.
Memorable lines:
Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby
And I'm a monster on the hill
Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city
Pierced through the heart, but never killed
Snow on the Beach
This one is another Irosami track. Asami has a low self esteem because of course she does so she can’t fathom how General Iroh might want to be with her and he feels the same but that’s a different story. So this song perfectly captures those early butterbees in the stomach feeling.
Memorable lines:
Now it's like snow at the beach
Weird but fuckin' beautiful
Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful
You wanting me tonight feels impossible
But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around
Like snow on the beach
You’re On Your Own, Kid
This one should be pretty self explanatory. Asami comes from a cutthroat, upper crust world where every move she makes is open to criticism; this is made worse when her father is imprisoned and she has to take over the company at just eighteen. Part of what makes this song an Asami song as well is the undertone of yearning — in her case, for her father back, and for a simpler, easier time.
Memorable lines:
From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes
I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this
I hosted parties and starved my body
Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss
The jokes weren't funny, I took the money
My friends from home don't know what to say
I looked around in a blood-soaked gown
And I saw something they can't take away
'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned
Everything you lose is a step you take
So make the friendship bracelets
Take the moment and taste it
You've got no reason to be afraid
You're on your own, kid
Yeah, you can face this
You're on your own, kid
You always have been
Midnight Rain
Okay, this one is definitely leaning more towards my own headcannons, but bear with me.
Prior to the events of canon, Asami was seeing a boy her father approved of — he came from old money, a respectable family, being groomed to take over his father’s company, and was prepared to care for Asami. But she never wanted to be just a housewife, and he didn’t like her “dangerous” hobbies, like racing and mechanic work. So, shortly after he proposed, Asami broke up with him — much to their families’ dismay. This song is about that boy.
Memorable lines:
My town was a wasteland
Full of cages, full of fences
Pageant queens and big pretenders
But for some, it was paradise
My boy was a montage
A slow-motion, love potion
Jumping off things in the ocean
I broke his heart 'cause he was nice
He was sunshine, I was midnight rain
He wanted it comfortable
I wanted that pain
He wanted a bride
I was making my own name
Chasing that fame
He stayed the same
All of me changed like midnight
Question…?
This is another Masami song. Post break-up, post season 1, Asami separates herself a lot from her friends. Feeling betrayed by Korra and Mako, she has a lot of time to ruminate on what happened.
Memorable lines:
Good girl, sad boy
Big city, wrong choices
We had one thing going on
I swear that it was something
'Cause I don't remember who I was before you
Painted all my nights
A color I've searched for since
But one thing after another
Lost in situations, circumstances
Miscommunications and I
Have to say
By the way
I just may like some explanations
(We’re skipping Vigilante Shit as that’s the one song I feel like doesn’t fit Asami)
Bejeweled
Post Mako break up, our girl is ready to flaunt herself! No more crying over a stupid boy; she’s ready to steal men’s breath away (perhaps a certain boat general’s?) and be cute and confident.
Memorable lines:
Baby love, I think I've been a little too kind
Didn't notice you walking all over my peace of mind
In the shoes I gave you as a present
Puttin' someone first only works when you're in their top five
And by the way, I'm going out tonight
Best believe I'm still bejeweled
When I walk in the room
I can still make the whole place shimmer
And when I meet the band
They ask, "Do you have a man?"
I can still say, "I don't remember"
Familiarity breeds contempt
Don't put me in the basement
When I want the penthouse of your heart
Diamonds in my eyes
I polish up real, I polish up real nice
Labyrinth
Labyrinth is both a post-Masami breakup song and an Irosami song. The breakup was devastating for her, since she really did care for Mako. This song comes in during the honeymoon stage of Irosami, where they’re both scared because they’re falling for each other.
Memorable lyrics:
It only feels this raw right now
Lost in the labyrinth of my mind
Break up, break free, break through, break down
You would break your back to make me break a smile
You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back
Just like that
Uh oh, I'm falling in love
Oh no, I'm falling in love again
Oh, I'm falling in love
I thought the plane was going down
How'd you turn it right around
Karma
This is one part “fuck you, Mako”, one part “fuck you, Korra”, one part “fuck you, Dad”, and one part “fuck you, haters”. Enough said.
Memorable lines:
You're talking shit for the hell of it
Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant
You're terrified to look down
'Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare
Of everyone you burned just to get there
It's coming back around
And I keep my side of the street clean
You wouldn't know what I mean
'Cause karma is my boyfriend
Karma is a god
Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend
Karma's a relaxing thought
Aren't you envious that for you it's not?
Sweet like honey, karma is a cat
Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me
Flexing like a goddamn acrobat
Me and karma vibe like that
Sweet Nothing
Just, 100% an Irosami song. They have the perfect kind of domesticity. Asami isn’t much for cooking or cleaning, so Iroh takes care of that sort of thing, while supporting Asami pursuing her dreams (and of course the reverse is also true).
Memorable lines:
On the way home
I wrote a poem
You say, "What a mind"
This happens all the time
'Cause they said the end is coming
Everyone's up to something
I find myself running home to your sweet nothings
Outside, they're push and shoving
You're in the kitchen humming
All that you ever wanted from me was nothing
Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors
And smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other
And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more"
To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it
Mastermind
In a version of Irosami where Asami is bold and she knows exactly what she wants and isn’t afraid to get it, this song is a perfect song for them.
Memorable lines:
Once upon a time, the planets and the fates
And all the stars aligned
You and I ended up in the same room
At the same time
And the touch of a hand lit the fuse
Of a chain reaction of countermoves
To assess the equation of you
Checkmate, I couldn't lose
Anyway, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. Asami deserves more attention and love <3 from a certain boat general
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