#buttwade

[lupines-slash-recs]

Rec: Don’t Look Back in Anger by buttwade

Title: Don’t Look Back in Anger Author: buttwade Canon: Kuroko’s Basketball Pairing: Yukio Kasamatsu/Ryouta Kise Rating: Teen [PG] Word Count: 3,452 Summary: Thirteen-years-old Kise has an unrequited crush on fifteen-years-old Kasamatsu, but he seems to be over it when

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[strawberry-lemonade]

the way I’m just casually reading gay shit at my homophobic work

[loveephia]

how some of the HQ boys react when you have a cute sneeze. (suna, kuroo, bokuto, sakusa, and ushijma.)

content: (🦷) tooth-rotting fluff, suna is a buttwad, kuroo momentarily becomes a scientist, bokuto thinks your sneeze came from a kitten, sakusa is a meanie.

⚠ warning/s: none.

SUNA RINTARŌ

when he first heard it, his face was straight and stoic as always

but his mind is all like, "that was the cutest thing ever."

so now, whenever you wind up to sneeze, he pulls out his phone, ready to record you

THEN IT UNSATISFYINGLY CUTS OFF YOUR SNEEZE.

you glare at suna and mumble a, "this is all your fault."

suna only sticks his tongue out

one day, he will GET that video.

KUROO TETSURŌ

did that sneeze??? come from YOU????

is it even scientifically possible for it to sound THAT CUTE

"can you do it again?" he asks

and you stare at him with nothing but confusion behind your eyes because how.

"why?"

"i'm conducting an experiment." he insists

you fake a sneeze for his satisfaction, and kuroo's face drops

"that's not a sneeze."

"sHUT UP, TETSU!!! I'M TRYING."

BOKUTO KŌTARŌ

"huh? was that a kitten?" bokuto asks dumbfoundedly

and tHAT ALONE EMBARASSED YOU SO MUCH.

you just nod along to his question, and he starts looking around for the kitten

YOU CAN'T CORRECT HIM NOW.

HE FULLY BELIEVES THAT THERE'S A HIDDEN KITTEN IN THE FUKURODANI GYMNASIUM.

when you sneeze and you happen to be with bokuto OUTSIDE the gym, HE THINKS THE KITTEN FOLLOWED YOU TWO.

"pspsps, where are you, little kitten?!"

you want to dig yourself a hole and lie there.

SAKUSA KIYOOMI

have you guys ever read that one chapter in the haikyū-bu!! manga where sakusa goes absolutely manic over that one roach in his room

bro was willing to burn his belongings and room DOWN TO THE GROUND.

this man loves you,

just clearly not enough to be near you or your sneezes right now.

"ten feet apart or else."

"but i want kisses.. D:"

despite him blushing over how cute it sounded, he's not going anywhere REMOTELY close to you until you've been diagnosed as a HEALTHY HUMAN BEING BY SEVERAL OF JAPAN'S BEST DOCTORS.

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

he probably shows the least emotion from everyone else

but he'd be lying if he said it didn't make his heart flutter

just a little bit

he hands you a tissue and asks if you need water as well

HE'S?@(#?# TAKING CARE(@?#( OF YOU!?(#? RAAAAAAAHHHGHGGHHHH

useful for the future

when you two get married, yakno LOL

© lowercase intended | loveephia

[lotus-duckies]

i think it's really important that it was Yamaguchi, Bokuto, and Kuroo who sparked Tsukishima's character development

Yamaguchi, as the guy who knows Tsukki best, serves as the healthy dose of reality check. To show him he's being kind of a buttwad, why everyone puts so much value into the game, to force him to understand why his brother lied

Because of their pride

And Kuroo and Bokuto roped him in by attacking his pride as Guys Who Love Talking Shxt, and hit the nail with the sadistic attitude towards volleyball and their opponents, which obviously hits close to home for Tsukki, who loves fxcking with people

[iwritestuffzs]

Study Session

(A Paige x Missy fanfic)

Missy was in crisis mode. It felt like the world hung in the balance of an impossible decision: jacket or no jacket. God what an impossible decision.

On one hand, she was at home and should dress casually, on the other she was having company over and should dress her best. After a few minutes of debating she decided on the no jacket option and she felt like she had just solved world hunger. In hindsight it wouldn't be that important but in that moment it was everything.

She spent the next couple of minutes getting ready for her guestaking sure her room was neat and her outfit was nice. It was just a white T-shirt, a pair of jeans and Converses but still, it had taken hours to even figure it out.

“Why are you acting so weird?” Missy jumped at the voice. Sheldon was standing in her door frame, his face with his usual inquisitive look.

“No reason,” Missy responded, “Go away buttwad.”

“Teenage hormones?” the boy asked.

“No. Just go away!” Missy said harshly.

Sheldon studied his twin a second longer before turning around and heading back to his room, “If not for you both being females, I would suspect you have a teenage crush.”

Missy rolled her eyes, how could someone be so smart and so stupid at the same time? But she wouldn't exactly call it a crush, at first it was but lucky for her it had blossomed into something more.

Before she could do anything else, there was a knock on the door. Her heart stopped for a second as Mary answered it. “Missy, Paige is here!” Mary called.

“Coming!” Missy called back. She frantically cleaned her room some more, throwing some clothes in the back of her closet and shuffling some things around and out of sight. Then she grabbed some lip gloss and put it on, she had a feeling she would need it for later.

The girl then quickly headed out of her room and went to the living room where Paige was chatting with her mom. As soon as Missy entered, all eyes went to her. “Hey,” Paige greeted.

“Hey,” Missy said back, ignoring the blush creeping up on her cheeks.

Mary smiled, “We are just so happy and blessed you're here Paige. The Lord knows how much Missy needs help in math.”

“Mom!” Missy said with a whine from embarrassment.

To which Paige and Mary chuckled at, “No worries Mrs. Cooper, I'll help her.”

Mary smiled and left the girls by themselves to get started on dinner. Missy gestured for Paige to follow her to her room. Once inside Missy closed the door, “I'm so glad you're her-”

She was cut off by a sudden passionate kiss as soon as she turned around. Their lips crashed together as Missy was backed up against the wall. She tasted something sweet, Paige must've also put on some lip gloss as well.

“I missed you too,” the blonde girl said as she broke the kiss.

Missy smiled before sliding her hand to the back of Paige's neck and bringing the girl back in for another kiss. It felt like heaven. She knew that her mother would never approve, hell the town wouldn't either but she didn't care. All she wanted was to kiss Paige with all the passion in the world, consequences be damned.

After a minute the two girls broke away before they got caught, “I really do need to study,” Missy said, “I'm failing math.”

Paige smiled, “Lucky for you. I'm great at math.”

They settled down on Missy's bed and she brought out her algebra homework to work on. Paige looked over it and got the answers easily while Missy looked at it like it was a different language. Why he hell were their letters in math anyway.

“Ok so, show me what you can do,” Paige said, handing Missy the pencil.

“Uhhhh ok,” Missy clicked her tongue before writing her name on the paper, then looked back up with a sheepish grin, “That's all.”

The blonde genius chuckled and rolled her eyes, “This is going to be a long night. I might even have to stay over.”

“But you don't have any clothes here,” Missy said.

“Don't worry, I'll just wear some of yours.” The comment made the other girl blush.

“I'll ask my mom,” she said, rushing off to ask Mary. To which the woman said yes to, glad that her daughter was excited to be learning, the irony.

They spent another hour working on the homework and were able to get through about a third of the worksheet. Even though getting Missy to do math work was like pulling teeth.

“I hate math,” the girl whined, flopping backwards on the bed, “It's so stupid!”

Paige rolled her eyes before flopping next to her, “At least if you're bad at it, I can be around more often to tutor you.”

“Nevermind I love math, a very useful subject,” she said quickly, her tune changing in an instant. Paige giggled - a joyous sound to Missy's ears. The blonde leaned over and planted another kiss on the other’s lips.

The two were back in heaven, forgetting the homework and just enjoying each other. The world could end and neither would care, only invested in that moment with each other. Paige moved her hands to cradle the back of Missy's head and deepened their kiss as Missy wrapped her arms around Paige's waist.

But before they could do much more there was a sudden knock on the door, “Girls,” Mary called. They quickly broke apart and sat up pretending to be invested in the homework.

“Come in!” Missy said.

Mary opened the door with a snack tray in hand, “I brought y'all some dinner.” She laid the tray on the nightstand, “How's the studying going?”

“Good,” both of them responded, a little too quickly.

“Good,” Mary said with a smile,”Great to see Missy so invested in learning.”

Missy nodded and snuck a glance over at Paige with a giggle. Mary didn't clock what it meant though and left the two girls back to their study session. Mary had made some sandwiches for the girls and they ate while continuing the trek through the minefield of homework.

And after another hour they were halfway done. It was getting dark but they had to continue. Missy laid her head on Paige's shoulder as the genius explained the slope-intercept form.

“Ok, so if 8x+4y=20, what is it's y intercept?” Paige asked to no response from Missy. She looked down to see the girl fast asleep on her shoulder, her pencil hung loosely from her hand. Paige couldn't help but smile and realized that they were done for the night.

She quickly scrawled down the answers to the rest of the work, then gently guided the sleeping girl so that she was lying comfortably on the bed. Paige put the finished worksheet in Missy's backpack. Before settling into bed with the girl, wrapping her arms around her and tugging her close.

As Paige was falling asleep she felt Missy make a small squeak in her sleep and start to wake up. The blonde in response rubbed her foot along Missy's calf and planted a kiss on her forehead, which lulled the girl back to sleep.

All in all both girls would go to call this study session a success, even if Missy went on to fail all of her Algebra tests, but luckily she got 100s on her homework.

[typingdyslexiaisathing]

Dance Lessons (Obey Me!) fic

summary: MC needs help with learning how to dance. So Satan and Asmodeus drag Leviathan along to practice.

characters: Marzena OC/MC, Satan, Asmodeus, Leviathan.

content: casual talk, fluff, dancing lessons, grumpy Levi (lol)

I was all but glaring at my D.D.D. The message stating the annual formal Devildom ball would be in a few weeks. Lucifer stating that I needed to get dancing lessons to prepare for the ball. To which Satan had made it clear he would be the one to teach me so Lucifer might focus on the preparations. With Asmodeus saying that he'd be sure to have Leviathan join us for some practice. Leviathan had been more than vocal on how he didn't need practice. But Lucifer made it clear that Leviathan had no choice.

So I was standing in the music room of the House of Lamentation. Satan looking to Asmodeus as the Avatar of Lust set the vinyl record onto the record player. While Leviathan openly huffed and grumbled next to me. But I soon gave Leviathan a nudge with my elbow for him to yelp. his gaze finding mine as I frowned at him. "Stop whining. The noble demon buttwads will be looking to pick our bones clean if any of us mess up. So we need to get our game faces on for this long ass raid event. You get me?"

Leviathan blinked a few times to then heave out a huge huff of air. Nodding to rub a hand to the back of his neck as the music started. "Yeah. I get you. We already had several of those noble demon families throw their red tape all over Lord Diavolo on even having the ball in the first place. So we need to knuckle down on our raid prep. But I already know how to waltz and stuff. The whole order to practice feels insulting." Asmodeus hums to just give Leviathan a pat on the shoulder. "Now now. Mammon is already getting a lecture later for skipping out on the student council meeting. So we should be on our best behavior to lessen the stress around the house. So let's do our part."

Satan rolled his eyes before he held his hand out to me. Making me blush slightly as I took it. Which had Satan gently pull me forwards so as to sweep me into the proper position. His smile warm and full of contentment as he instructed me on where my feet should be at the start. His hands moving to place my own hands where they needed to rest on his frame. Not leaving me time to linger on the touch to then begin moving his feet. The steps were simple enough at the start of the lesson. But we did get to much harder dances after ten minutes. Meaning I had to give all of my attention to where my feet went and how I moved in time to the music. Asmodeus and Leviathan already dancing in perfect time for me to try and keep up.

The lesson took almost three hours long. Satan being a strict but kind instructor as he guided me around the music room. Until Asmodeus heard the alarm on his phone go off to let Leviathan go and take the needle off the vinyl record. "Okay. That's time. Well done all." Leviathan just cursed to then drop himself onto the floor and lay there like a dead body. "I feel so out of shape after all that... You both are evil sadists... Making us dance for so long... My legs are gonna fall off... Forget going to school tomorrow... I refuse to move for the next two days..."

I agreed completely to feel like my whole body had been turned to lead. Satan taking notice to sweep me off my feet and sit me right next to Leviathan. His sigh one of patient approval to shake his head. "I don't blame you for being mad. But the ball will last for at least six hours. Half of which will need to be spent on the dance floor. If only to keep to formalities and see to all the required dances for posterity sake. I don't like that part much either. Yet it is part of the deal." Asmodeus nodded to sit beside Leviathan on his other side and just kick off his shoes for some relief. The sigh that escaped Asmodeus sounding tired. "Do at least remember we have the option of sitting down between songs. I get we're doing a crash course regiment for Marzena. But I for one would like to make sure I don't fall over dead the second the ball is over with."

I nodded to kick my own shoes off my feet. My groan one of pure agony as Satan sat down to join us. Yet he decided to spoil me by picking up my right foot to start kneading his fingers into the sole of my foot. Having me moan out at the pampering as Satan chuckled. My words weary yet warm. "That feels so good. I vote that when the ball is over, we light our shoes on fire." My comment has Asmodeus openly gasp to exclaim out, "Absolutely not! My shoes are far too nice to do that kind of thing!" Leviathan snickers to suggest, "Then make some shoes for us to wear to the ball. maybe we ask Solomon to charm them so our feet don't hurt as much." Satan thinks on that to then smirk. "Without telling him to charm the shoes for Lucifer." I roll my eyes as I just huff. "Wicked. You are truly a devious scoundrel, love."

[junseoing]

I have a feeling i wont be as attached to PrapaiSky as I am to PayuRain bcs im highly cheesy, highly attracted to ponytail men, and i like Rain's development from a naive, immature boy to a more responsible, mature guy (lol where is my payu except not lol i need someone to hold me accountable 4 school pls send help-)

The all black aesthetic for Payu just does it for me...and they are so in love its such a nice break from relationship drama that is just thrown in there bcs the writers thought stuff was too nice

I do feel that PrapaiSky will have a much more mature relationship from the beginning, not just NC scene wise (i have heard the rumors from the actors and i am slightly scared-) but just in general bcs well...Sky has dated before. Although the ex scares me...not in a good way mind you im a known hater of 11th ep breakups and if this currently unnamed buttwad causes one im never watching the PrapaiSky part again (this is only slightly hyperbole)

[caffeinewithdrawalss]

I accidentally told a coworker that “I hate him so much”, him being Dr buttwad, in earshot of said doctor, I saw wendie, my coworker, point behind and I heard Dr b’s obnoxious fucking breathing, and when she said “who?” I said “Dumbledore!” And launched into a tirade about how I was rereading Harry Potter, I was and am not rereading it, and that it reignited my hatred of the rat bastard.

Crisis averted ig,,,

[beboslatkice]

Satan enter it of xes possession betrayal purple credit event Satan fill him heart love intimate on purpose 1 5 point money off death likely killed anyway step way lefteousness plagiarism inferior instead the roots Nulliparous nonviable christianity parochia ungodly idolatry unholy evil force Devil drugs Church of Satan BBC porn addiction Satanic little play kill lettering (god) those who retire civil pagi Leviticus 18:23 Occlumency Legilimency Murder rate deathadder sharp tongue downward tonic to those who lick animatronic vulva pierce/oscillate labia structure yawn pain brutal nish wrong as correct sheep to crops failure stab hang burn transgression impotent slow slicing thousand cut heart skin torturous execution slashings thru shoulder exposed rib caged mind lungs blood draining tied rope dragged underwater hail drownings scars from the lives lived past boiled flesh off flesh rapid cool dragged to the gallows disemboweled beheaded quartered Poena cullei psychological ugly,unwanted,weak urine stream voices extreme humiliation scaphism exploitation phobias disfigurement denailing hamstringing immurement thumbscrew on Satan Devil Beelzebub exist because majority deny God exist in deed Ni word half seat warmer lukewarm liver in dish blood splash tips fingers Leviticus 20:15-16 principality home apartment incorrect placement animatronic (+) nun yall barn buster peechones are hypoallergenic paint aint cheap curse wisdom as sage elders who attempt hands that extent to good strength dignity curse blessings praises hail idleness only further as blasphemy to hurt kill torcher fold piece of meat the arm newly born fell magistrates drown during baptism sin own the will sword drawn conjure enmity faithful & discreet chaste congregation flock anointed yhwh jireh nissi rapha blood lust blood let blood spill pollute holy spirit pollute lust revenge rage Krampus intercourse bone casting spirit cooking teeth tears hair invert agility turn away & pervert tetragrammaton yod heh waw heh elohim pit of leeches synagogue ruination semen projection demon play writing on the walls hand shakes Adonai to split hoof unclean because of good left help less “the devil smiles” asher nounced dork mincuss dincuss doface(cum covered) fuck moses rape yokheved invoke curdle disassociate screams yhwh honky flat foot pigeon waddle buttwad fat head neck gills hashem majestatis matres lectionis wannabe scribbles & if you feel sum way Gay Faggot covet chowder shat bumstickty slant eye look around joke placement everyone else laughing but you still feel included as actual confession said same group raped & beat yhwh curn county jungle gym but a survivor practical pro triconsonant qere & ketiv Cults Ouija séance incubi succubi spindle spire blk rape lanterne of light every night see not amalgamation yellowing eyes shallow breaths uphills stomach bubbles from demon sperm ting spiel throat leviathan nest rats door floor trap dust rust 444 yhwh nest snakes in dream nest tenticles monsters inc. Mike Krusinski abduction muffled bereavement unto thy self Satans Jihad supernatural dangerous mobile IP address trace calling walware tracking syltherine program on Nazarene festering flesh wounds smelling rotting maggot varmint infection puss pore pop pain burn iontless torcher totalitarian annihilate intestines bursting witch kraft decompose blotting unless interstellar change devils mind to faint sight blood haha      

[kaistarus]

will you clown me if i ship yakunoya or tsukihina? 🥺

Look Yakunoya is allowed in this establishment. It's the only Noya ship I can get behind tbh

BUT TSUKIHINA??? 😤

I've seen this one, but idk dude. I've never felt less romantic vibes between characters. Is it the whole moon/sun metaphor or the height difference?

I mean I understand the Yamaguchi childhood friend-to-lover vibes but Tsukis's still a major buttwad...

I dont really have a Hinata ship, but he's definitely too good for Tsukishima. I'm not afraid to say it lol

[faffreux]

Real talk: I think Fawful definitely enjoys coffee and would make a great barista... in SS he comments that his favorite scent variety of his brainwashing spray is the peppermint mocha and he is ALREADY a culinary genius so... IT JUST WORKS IMO

[nastylich]

▽ Perses

"Mean, you're so mean. No one- I can't... I hate this. " the palms of her hands move up to press against her eyes before she wonders off to curl up somewhere, she wants to be as small as possible and left alone. It's not much different from the usual anyway, fuck she couldn't even get a horny bastard to kiss her if she paid him.

"Please leave me be. "

[barpsylona]

(Hi yes, my name is Mattie and i am screaming.)

[kimdingle]

WHO WAS THE ONE WHO DID IT FOR JODY FOSTER? just wondering #justwondering #painting #oil #canvas #kimdingle #contemporaryart #dtla #orange #buttwad (at Helsinki)

[dumbbirdsfieldguide]

Red-winged Buttwad This blackbird is extremely abundant in North America. So, you probably have already spotted one of these assholes sitting on a cattail, flaunting its gaudy shoulder markings. Territorial and full of themselves, the males make a big deal out of trying to get noticed during breeding season by nasally shrieking their “CONK-ah-SKwEEE” song, over and over, from every damp field and soggy roadside.

The buttwads in northern North America migrate to the southern U.S. – southern, and some lazy western populations, don’t migrate at all. Interestingly, who cares, because they’re already everywhere. Also, during winter, these bastards congregate in flocks as large as several million to eat grains. Nobody needs this. I mean, really. We already have starlings for this shit. 

Identifying the female: Nondescript brown and easily mistaken for, like, a million other drab birds, so, not really worth it.

[ann-astro]

Fafsa: you don’t need aid your family is so rich lmao,,, they can definitely afford college

Me, with cavities and bad wisdom teeth, with untreated diagnosed adhd and possibly undiagnosed aspergers, untreated severe eczema, trying to sleep with a pair of old pajamas folded under my hips to help the morning pain because my 15+ yo mattress is hard as a rock, whose dad finally got a good paying job after years of accumulating debt and struggling:

O

K