#byler angst

[starsarefire824]

moonflower ch. 6

Chapter 6: Blameworthy

A few weeks after that night on the porch, in the middle of the hottest month of summer you and El broke up. I never really got the full story from either one of you, but it wasn’t loud or tumultuous. If anything you both seemed lighter, as if your romance had puttered out instead of erupting in a firestorm like so many do. 

Even still, I knew she was sad. If not sad, severely disappointed. She spent every waking hour with Max that week and slept in my bed every night, hugging the plush giraffe you won at the county fair the year before and my arm tucked protectively around her belly. 

But you…You moped around most of all, seemingly lost and avoiding being alone with me for any extended period of time. It hurt my feelings, but I understood. I still understand. You two were so entangled in each other’s lives it was bound to take some getting used to. To figure out how to just be Mike and El, untethered from each other and individuals. 

I never brought up that night that you touched me, never asked what it meant or why you had done it. But I thought about it constantly, couldn’t stop staring at you and your hands, and the way your mouth was red and full and the truth that was: Your lips had been on mine. 

You’ve always been my torment. 

But after a few weeks, the both of you came around, and that’s when Max and Lucas started planning his 18th birthday party. 

It was the middle of August, just before everyone was about to slowly pack and leave for the school they had chosen. Or for those who chose Hawkins, whether by choice or by circumstance, made ready for the jobs they had lined up. 

You were less evasive, and we danced silently around each other for weeks, still nothing was said. But you sat too close when we played video games, and didn’t look away when our eyes met. 

There was one night we were caught alone under the streetlamp in front of your house, bugs tapping against the light and their shadows blacking out little dots on the pavement. I remember the cicadas were so loud in the trees as we set our bikes down to catch our breath after climbing the hill from Dustin’s house. 

I jumped off, leaning my bike against my hip as you threw yours down in your yard and turned back to face me, chest heaving. You looked down at me, skin flush with the heat and your eyes black as the night around you. I remember you licked your bottom lip because I couldn’t stop staring at how it shined in the light. 

You were so close and you reached out to me, your fingers sure, but your face suddenly terrified. My breath hitched in my throat and my heart pounded when you slid your fingers softly across my temple and tucked a wild flyaway behind my ear. I didn’t know how to be or how to act, still so completely unused to being on the other side of the line we had crossed weeks before. 

I thought you might kiss me then, and Christ I wanted you too. I ached for it. My heart raced in my chest when you leaned in slightly, your eyelids growing heavy and your breath on my cheek. But then there were headlights in my eyes and I flinched. The sound of the engine made you fright, and you stepped back from me, chest heaving and scrubbing the back of your neck with anxiety. When you looked at me I knew the moment was over, but you smiled out of one side of your mouth and regarded me fondly. 

[meowza315]

“I’m sorry-“ [insert sob]

“I tried calling, I really did.”

“I tried every day but.. the line.. the line was always busy. So you.. you never answered.”

sorry guys I had to

small thing to notice — Will’s crying, but the rain is acting as a cover and it’s hard to tell (especially because his expression is numb). Mike is also crying but it’s obvious so.

[byleriscanon713by]

Wait a damn minute Mike doesn’t know Wills gay… he’s projecting…

[heheidks]

oh god. oh god.

just before mike turns around, his face tells so much, but he flattens his expression when facing will. but for that one millisecond. we see. we see michael.

look at the fucking microexpressions. finn you absolute genius. and the duffers of course.

gif from the one and only @will80sbyers

[hessolivagant]

redraw of the gayest scene in stranger things

Haha jk thought you were going to get something silly? No screw you

[watchmenanon]

Mike saving Will from drowning at Lover's Lake would make a mindblowing parallel with s1 and it'd be a very powerful moment for Mike after being taunted about Will's fake body.

[bonkerstogether]

I totally didn't almost cry while making this 👍

[claiireluv]

im just gonna leave this here and run away

[thecelestialsyzygy]

If Will had electric powers and Mike had a near-death scene, imagine Mikes heart slowly stopping so Will starts freaking out and uses his hands as a defibrillator to reset his heartbeat and bring him back to life while he cries <3

[everlarking74]

mike wheeler the could never make me hate you💔

[queen-of-hawkins-why-ler]

Do you ever just think about the fact that Mike and Will have most definitely slept in the same bed many times (at sleepovers when they were younger) and so when they pine for each other and to be beside each other at night, it's not just some abstract thing in their minds but something they can basically tangibly feel and tangibly miss. Like they literally know the other's scent and what it's like to watch the other sleep and whether the other steals all the covers or kicks all of them off etc. etc. and they both have to sleep alone living with the knowledge that that's something they once had but will never be able to get back (at least to their knowledge) because of society's demands and expectations. 😇

[meowza315]

Bylerween day 4 - attacked by Vecna (blood/death)

umm. didn’t expect to get really depressing for bylerween but here we are

uhh mike got attacked by Vecna and paralleled Max, and during his final moments asked for Will to sing to him

therefore Will sang Mad World by Tears For Fears as he died. um. yeahh

sorry guys

[heartsgettingwiser62]

Guys if a bts pic of finn wearing a yellow button up gets leaked im actually leaving the country and hiding in a cave for the rest of my life

[messrsbyler]

And if when Will said he wasn't going to fall in love he wasn't really denying his already growing feelings for a certain black haired boy?

And if what he was trying to say went deeper, touching one of his biggest fears about the future, but he couldn't just dump all of that on his mom, so when she said "you won't think it's gross when you fall in love" Will just said he wouldn't fall in love.

What if what Will meant was that he wouldn't fall in love like that, the way Jonathan had fallen in love. Because Mike would never sneak out of his bedroom window after staying over the night, tripping on his way out smelling like Will, with his hair flat on the side where he shared a pillow with him.

Will wouldn't rush to get dressed and then come to the kitchen for breakfast still wearing a mark of Mike's kiss on his cheek that then his mom would try to brush clean with her thumb. Joyce wouldn't give him a knowing look and a quick smile, and she wouldn't be so lighthearted pretending she didn't know what Will and Mike had been up to.

They wouldn't share a ride to work in Mike's beat up car that would start with the coughing and then pouring of the engine, a sheepish grin from Mike and a kiss in the front seats. Will wouldn't get to hold Mike's hand as they walked from the parking place they found to where they worked, and they wouldn't get to catch lunch together outside where they would snuggle up together in a bench. Will wouldn't rest his head in the crook of Mike's neck and Mike wouldn't feed him his fries even when Will said he didn't want any but then changed his mind when it was too late to add them to the order.

And then they wouldn't get to come back home together and sneak Mike back through the window so they could fall asleep next to each other. Because even in the impossible scenario where Mike could want Will back... if they snuck through a window it wouldn't be because they would be trying to dodge their parents making any cheesy comments or awkward but well-meant questions. It would be because they were sneaking from the shame and wrongness of it all.

What if that's what Will meant, but it was too much of a mouthful. So instead, Will simply said "I'm not gonna... fall in love".

[byleriscanon713by]

I just realized how much of an angst addict I am. I start getting withdrawal symptoms. I spend two days reading domestic byler fluff and suddenly this morning I’m reading about Mike shooting Will.

[bluebugjay]

it's just hit me that it's basically canon that Will didn't reach out more to Mike after the move because he was trying to 'rip off the bandaid'

he really thought his love for Mike was that hopeless and he should distance himself because of it.

pair that with the fact they never actually talked through what was said in the rain fight so Will probably feels like he's too childish for Mike and that he's holding him back.

and that he says 'if (i) was mean to you, or it seemed like (i) was pushing you away it's only because (i'm) scared of losing you'

he regrets not reaching out to Mike, he calls himself mean for it because he's scared of losing him. He tried to put distance between them in order to protect himself but in the end he just can't. He can't lose Mike even if it means he suffers a heartbreak.