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saltnsugarbear · 1 month

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you've never done me wrong (except for that one time)

summary: a kitchen friendship is born anew as Carmen's hold on the staff stumbles.

title from: "True Blue" by boygenius

word count: 3.8k

content warnings: swearing, reader is close friends with Richie. mentions of divorce, Mikey's death, depression, hazing in the work place.

part one! nsfw headcanons!

Carmy works in silence beside you. Your head is resting on your arms against the counter.

Every night the two of you work on dish presentation and recipes. You're usually the first to feel the effects of exhaustion from the day, laying your head on the counter and watching Carmy work in his notebook.

His colored pencils are scattered and the surface is decorated with pencil shavings. You watch him intently, taking in the curve of his nose, the furrow of his brow, the set of his mouth as he colors with a precision you envy.

The dynamic between you two is one of mutual benefit. Carmy understands how to best present a dish, how it should look on a plate and appeal to the diner. You understand pairings, what ingredients need to be added or removed for a dish to be balanced and shine. And you both work spectacularly in a kitchen, moving together like a dance that only the two of you have learned. Any time one of you is paired with another, it's a mess of bumping into one another and miscommunication.

The only thing you don't agree on is staying awake until a few hours before service prep starts. Carmy has told you several times you don't need to stay awake with him as he works in his notebook, but each time you refusal. Instead choosing to give him grief about being up all night. Your belief is that if you maintain the same sleep schedule, you'll both be on the same frequency for service.

So that leaves you, exhausted in the kitchen fighting the drooping of your eyelids, and Carmy, sketching and coloring a new dish you two had been brainstorming.

"Hey.." The whisper of Carmy's voice startles you. He's collected his pencils and cleaned the counter around you.

"Did I fall asleep?" You search his eyes and Carmy nods.

You sigh and sit up in your seat, rubbing your eyes as Carmy stands up from his own chair. He waits as you slip off from your chair, grabbing your coat and slipping your arm through his.

Carmy has come to expect your gentle affections, the simple touches you offer. A guiding hand at the small of his back, linked arms and holding hands.

You let Carmy lead you to your apartment. You've both taken this walk dozens of times over, you can close your eyes and slump against him as you walk together.

"Stay the night.." You mumbled. Carmy hums beside you, he sounds distant.

This isn't the first time you've asked him to spend the night at your apartment. It certainly won't be the last.

The first time it was under the pretense that it would be quicker for both of you going into the kitchen. Less travel time he has to waste, to and fro.

So when he unlocks your front door, you're unalarmed. Carmy helps you kick your shoes off before he takes off his own. He drops his things beside them, and leads you both to your room. He flips the switch by the door thats attached to the warm Christmas lights you have on your ceiling.

He sits you on your bed, pulling the covers back for you to lay down and lays them over your body. Carmy makes to leave when you call his name. He stops in his tracks as you shuffle farther back and lift the blankets for him.

Carmy was used to setting himself up on your couch. He knew were your extra bedding was and he never complained about the kink in his neck afterwards.

However inviting him into your bed was new. He nervously shuffles towards the edge of the bed and you nod tiredly.

Carmy climbs in beside you, hesitantly. He's still in his jeans and t-shirt. No one will notice his ruffled street clothes tomorrow.

He's awkward as he lays on his side, facing you. You sigh, grumbling something out as you grab at his shirt. You pull at the fabric, bringing him towards you until your face is against his chest.

Carmy is tense until you wrap your arms around him, keeping him close to you. You can feel him relax slowly, and then he wraps his arms around you.

The both of you fall asleep like that. Holding each other under the blankets, lights tacked to the ceiling like stars.

August goes by with as little animosity as you can muster.

Which is not much.

But it's enough that Carmen doesn't feel the need to mention it for a while. The month goes by with as little exchanges between the two of you that can be managed with him being your boss and coworker.

It's awkward at first, and still is. Your cigarette breaks are cut short or prolonged to avoid each other, tasks take longer than they should to avoid running into each other.

You hate the way that you notice how you both still move together so seamlessly. The both of you move around the kitchen together like a dance only you know and it makes you want to throw up.

It reminds you have your time together at Daniel. It reminds you of how things could be different.

You can spot when Carmen notices it because his movements suddenly become awkward and stilted. You run into each other more once he clocks the smooth kitchen dynamic you have. It kind of pisses you off.

You find yourself getting short with him when this happens. Which leads to the butting of heads.

But you spend more time away from each other then around one another. Richie makes snide comments on it until you eventually get him to shut up. No one else notices, at least they don't mention if they do.

Ebra and Tina take to gently harassing Carmen. Making him prove his keep in the kitchen. He throws tantrum after tantrum but they are unrelenting in their antics.

You can see Carmen's fuse running shorter and shorter with them as each day begins anew.

He is going to snap.

Richie is regaling a story about some kid picking on Eva while you're sorting through the plastic utensils and prepping napkins.

He keeps looking at you through out the story and you're nodding along to show your engagement in the story. As he's getting into it, the door to the kitchen swings open.

"Hey, chef?" Sydney pokes her head through the doorway and grabs your attention. "Fill in for Tina? She's going to be late up until service."

You sigh and nod, "Yeah, for sure."

As you follow Syd into the back of house, Richie blows you a kiss that makes you roll your eyes. Sydney has your station set up by the time you're done washing your hands.

"So, Tina was just on vegetable prep. Nothing too crazy, I don't think. I mean, you know the drill, right?" Sydney looks at you and you nod.

"Vegetable prep is nothing, my dear Sydney."

"Okay. Then I don't think there's anything else you need to know. Just let me know when you're done." Sydney taps the counter and you nod before she departs to her own station not far from yours.

The two of you work in the kitchen in mostly silence. Carmen is in the office so Marcus and Ebra are the only other two moving around their respective parts of the kitchen.

"Did you um-" Sydney starts talking, and she hesitates as she lets her thoughts tumble around. "Did you work in a kitchen? Before this?"

"Yeah, actually. I..." You pause and then sigh. "I used to work with Chef Daniel Boulud."

"Oh shit." Sydney glances at you, eyes wide.

You huff a laugh and nod. "Yep."

"How did... How did you end up here?" Sydney asks, turning back to her own prep.

You pause long enough Sydney starts to back pedal, "Actually, you don't have to-"

"No it's okay. Um..." You clear your throat and furrow your brow. "Something happened.. And I had to quit. It was that or be fired."

"Oh shit.." Her voice is hushed but you shrug in response.

"That was four years ago and I'm mostly over it. But it definitely opened my eyes to some shit." You glance at Sydney before looking back at your cutting board.

"But I mean, maybe it was for the best. I met these lovely people," Sydney scoffs a little at that. "I got to know Mikey and I know Richie now. I don't know. I got a new family out of the situation so maybe it's not all bad. It definitely hurt though." You nod as you cut through carrots.

"That's a good way to look at it.." Sydney trails off as the two of you begin to work in silence again.

"I'm sorry that happened, anyways." Sydney does a half shrug and you nod.

"Thank you, chef." You hum.

Sydney hums in response and nods. The two of you continue to work in silence again.

After a few minutes Richie enters the back, fidgety and looking for someone to talk to. He steers clear of you and Sydney, deciding to go to Marcus and Sweeps. He launches himself into conversation, beginning some story you're sure he's already told you.

As he talks and gets more into it, his voice gets loud. Sweeps and Marcus egg him on and you can see Ebra hovering. Eventually Richie is shouting to be heard and laughing loudly.

"Richard," You grab his attention with his full name, not looking away from your station, and loud enough to be heard over his own chatter. You raise your hand to lay level above your head and start moving it downwards.

"Oh shit. Sorry, sweetheart." Richie's voice is quieter now.

"It's okay, bub. Thank you." You bring your hand back to your task and Richie continues his story, keeping his voice as leveled as he can.

"Holy shit." Sydney breathes out next to you and you shoot her a questioning look.

"He doesn't listen to, like, anyone." She looks at you and searches your face like it'll show her the answers.

You chuckle and nod at that. "He only listens because I put up with his other shit. And his daughter likes me, so it's hard to explain to a five year old why her cousin that she's seen for years stops showing up."

Sydney keeps looking at you in awe which makes you shake your head. "Back to work, chef."

You gesture to her cutting board and she tears her gaze away with a nod.

"Um... Why would you stop showing up, chef?" Sydney asks with her brow furrowed.

"I wouldn't. He just... Has these weird attachment issues. He gets anxious over it so he... Behaves himself to not scare me off. He has his bad days but we're only human." You shrug. Sydney hums and the two of you go back to working in silence.

Once you finish, Sydney guides you through mixing and storing it in accord with the restaurant system. As you're cleaning up your stations, Carmen comes into the kitchen like a force of wind. He stops a few steps from the office when he spots you at the counter.

You watch in your periphery as Carmen looks between you and Sydney. Sydney nods at him and he shakes his head back at her.

"Uh.. Chef." You turn as Carmen nods at you.

"Chef." You look at him as you finish wiping down the counter. You both stand there for a few seconds until Sydney clears her throat.

"Thank you, chef... For helping with Tina's prep." She nods and gives you a smile.

"Yeah, it's no problem, Syd." You nod back as you depart from the two of them. You make your way to coral Richie and Sweeps to the front of house, ignoring Carmen's gaze on your back as you leave.

Richie slings his arm over your shoulder with Sweeps behind you, as Carmen rounds up his cooks and begins debriefing them for service.

After the health inspector leaves, hell breaks loose. Everyone else dispersed to their respective stations, except for you, Sydney, Carmen and Richie.

Richie and Carmen start yelling and jabbing fingers at each other again. Once they start shoving each other, Sydney attempts to break it up again. When that doesn't work, you shove your way between the two of them, less worried than Sydney about who gets knocked by an elbow.

Richie immediately stops his movements and favors yelling at Carmen from behind you. Carmen bites his tongue, glaring at Richie above your head and clenching his fists at his sides.

"Shut up, Richard!" You turn and look at him over your shoulder. You notice Carmen inhale to begin his verbal assault again and stop him in his tracks. "That doesn't mean you start again, Carmen. You need to go take a fucking breather."

Carmen stares at you and there's a fire in his eyes. "We got a fuckin' C. You can't be fuckin' okay with that? It's, it's-"

"I don't give a fuck what it is right now. You need to step out, and maybe when you're feeling like having a real conversation, we can deal with this. Instead of taking that shit out on Richie."

That was the wrong thing to say. It only adds fuel to the fire that is Carmen's anger.

"Maybe, if you fucking cleaned- If, if you actually helped around this place instead of- of fucking flirting with Richie!" Carmen gestures wildly, his voice raising with each word.

"Don't you fucking yell at me." You stab a finger into Carmen's chest, getting up in his face and much louder than him. The kitchen has all but ceased movement and clatter.

"Don't yell at me, you fucking child. You know that shit doesn't work." Carmen is silent as you study his face before backing off.

"Get your fucking shit together, Carmen. Instead of taking it out on your chefs." You untie your apron as you head towards the back door.

"Where the fuck do you think you're goin'?" Carmen calls after you. In response you flip him off as you barge out the door.

Once you're outside, you fish out your lighter and pack of cigarettes, shaking out a stick before tossing the pack and your apron onto one of the crates on the floor. When you light the stick you take a deep inhale and hold before letting it out.

The door opens and you're prepared to launch yourself at Carmen.

Instead you see Sydney. She’s got a container of water in her hand her eyes cast towards the ground. You hum at her in acknowledgment as you take another drag. After your appraisal Sydney walked over and sat on the opposite crate from where you had thrown your stuff.

"I have never seen someone tell Carmy off like that." Her voice is soft and a little surprised. You let out a huff of a laugh as you release the smoke from your lungs.

"He's just an asshole." You say as you dip down and offer Sydney your pack. She scrunches up her nose and shakes her head, which makes you grin.

"Smart move. This shit kills." You punctuate your sentence with another drag that makes Sydney chuckle.

"Did you know Carmy? Before the Beef?" Sydney toes at the asphalt before she looks up at you with big brown eyes.

You turn away and shrug, "Depends on what you mean by know. I've worked with him in the past. I thought I knew him as well as I knew myself but he ended up being a back stabbing bitch."

You flick your cigarette to the ground and stub it out with your shoe.

"Don't get too attached to the idea of you guys being super great work buddies. He'll throw you to the curb if it means saving his own ass." With that you grabbed your apron, opened the door and give Sydney a two finger salute before walking back in.

Inside Richie and Carmen are arguing about the caulk. Still. You sigh and begin tying your apron behind you. It's going to be a long fucking service.

The door from the kitchen swings shut as you walk through, making your way behind the counter until you hear people talking in the dining area.

"Oh shit. Hi, Mr. Cicero." You spot Cicero talking with Carmen by the window.

He and Carmen turn towards you, expressions a stark difference between each other. Cicero smiles at you as you make your way over to them, but Carmen looks shocked at your intrusion.

"How many times do I have to tell you, kid, it's Uncle Jimmy." Cicero pulls you into a side hug as you shake your head.

"Yeah, and Richard's actually my cousin." You sigh as he let's go of you. "If you're lucky, maybe you'll reach Mr. Jimmy instead."

"It'll have to do." He sighs and then gestures towards the sign in the window. "What's that about, kid?"

You follow his gaze to the C in the window and shake your head.

"Just business as usual, Mr. Cicero. I mean, you know," You shrug as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "It's been a rough going but um... I think we're getting somewhere."

Your gaze flicks to Carmen briefly before turning back to Cicero. Cicero nods when you look back at him.

"Alright, kid. Now uh... You know I love seeing you, but I mean, you know," Cicero gestures between him and Carmen. You get the hint.

"Yes, of course, I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize, you actually saved me from more of the same story." Cicero assures you as you fidget with your apron.

"Of course," You smile and nod at him. "Make sure you come by again soon."

Cicero nods and brings you into another side hug. You return the hug as you bid him farewell, effectively removing yourself from the conversation and heading back to the kitchen.

At the same time you enter, Sydney and Richie enter through the back door. They're both silent as they walk in. Sydney stops by her locker, opening it and shedding her bag and coat. She fishes out the bag from the hardware store and her apron before she closes the door and hands the bag to Richie.

Richie snatches the bag from her and Sydney leaves to go find Carmen before service.

Wordlessly, you take out your pack of cigarettes, holding it out to Richie in offering. He shakes his head at you in response, so you lightly bump him with your shoulder on your way out the back door.

You plop down on one of the crates along the wall, fishing out your lighter and shake out a stick. Once you have it lit, you lay your head back against the wall when you inhale.

You're out there for a few minutes until the back door opens. You don't move, scrolling through your phone and not entirely bothered by whoever might be joining you on their own smoke break. There's the crunch of footsteps until the stop short. They don't start again but the door hasn't opened again. You look up and a nearly drop your cigarette when you see Carmen.

He's stood a few feet from you, his own cigarette hanging off his lips as he takes you in.

Deciding you were there first and desperately needing this cigarette (and maybe a second), you turn back to your phone. Effectively ignoring him. You hear the click of his lighter and the drag he takes through the filter, but he doesn't move.

You continue to ignore him when you flick away the bud of your cigarette, taking a moment to finish your article before you fish out another one. Carmen takes that as his signal to speak up.

"So, you uh- you just know everyone from my family?" He asks you, making you look up at him. Carmen is watching you already as he exhales, his blue eyes studying your face.

"I didn't track them down, if that's what you're thinking. I didn't decide to move to Chicago and find the Berzatto family as some long awaited revenge." You look down to grab your pack, so you don't have to see his eyes anymore, and take out another stick. You place it to your lips but before you can get your lighter, you hear the click of Carmen's. When you look back at him, he's holding his lighter out for you.

When you don't brush him off, Carmen slowly moves and watches as the flame sparks the end of your cigarette. Once it's done, he pulls his arm away quickly, as if you'll bite it off.

"I didn't think you had." Carmen shrugs.

"Yeah well, I thought I knew everything you thought." You let that hang in the air for a moment. Until Carmen clears his throat.

"How did you meet um..." Carmen doesn't finish. You know who he means.

"My brother. Graduated with Mikey, knew he was looking for people. Set me up." You gesture with the cigarette in your hand. "And you're not actually related to Cicero or Richie so.."

"Close enough," Carmen huffs and kicks at the pebbles on the asphalt.

"Nat's pissed at you, by the way. Not as much as I always am, but pretty close." You nod and then take a drag, looking down the alley towards the street. You want this conversation to end soon.

Carmen sighs at that and you catch him nodding, like he already knows.

"And quit being such a dick to Richie. He's obnoxious but he's dealing with enough shit without you piling onto it." You voice your disdain for his bullying with your exhale of smoke.

Since February, Richie's personal life had taken a nosedive into the garbage. In the weeks after Mikey's death Tiffany served Richie with the divorce paperwork. This took another massive toll on Richie's mental health when you were already trying to hold it together. You think that the presence of yourself and Eva barely kept the man with his head above water. You spent weeks creating a routine of assurance and dependability with Richie that he still questioned, even now.

"I'm uh... I'm s-" Carmen starts, looking at the ground. Again.

"Don't fucking do this." You glare up at him. Carmen looks at you with wide eyes. "Just shut up. I'm not doing this again."

You turn away from him, brows furrowed and lips set in a frown. You don't see him leave but you hear his footsteps on the asphalt and the creak of the back door. Then it's quiet again.

You sigh, and rest your head against the wall again. Finishing your cigarette in the Chicago peace.

#saltnsugarbear #not enough sugar #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear fanfiction #carmy berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto

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daysofyellowroses · 6 months

Text

sandwich

carmen berzatto x afab!reader | 7.9k | based on this wonderful request by @kpopgirlbtssvt (sincere apologies this took so long!) | 18+ minors dni | warnings: smut, mentions of abuse, shitty shitty behaviour, language

finally finally finally i am posting this! it was not intended to be so long but i couldn't bring myself to end it, then life and work got busy and long story short, here it is! i have more requests to get working on, but i have a week off from today so hopefully no more delays! 🌼💗🫶🏻

🐻

“I can do this, I can totally do this.”

You repeated the words to yourself over and over, looking at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. It was just a job interview, it wasn't like you were going into battle or something. Still, that thought didn't ease the knot in your stomach. Job interviews were always nerve-wracking, it was just the nature of them. You'd lost track of how many you'd been on, they all started to blur together. Some of the jobs weren't even really what you wanted, but you needed something new. Your notice was burning a hole in your pocket, just waiting to be handed in.

You stepped back from the mirror, taking a deep breath. Your outfit looked professional, you felt. A white shirt and navy pants, simple but effective. You forced yourself to smile, to try and feel more relaxed. The world wouldn't end, you still had a job, technically, had a roof over your head. A new roof, a new life. Now you just needed a new job and it would all fall into place.

Heading into your bedroom, you checked your phone to see which interview it was, your calendar flooded with notices. The latest was a hostess job for the Bear, a newly opened restaurant. You'd been a little surprised to get a call for an interview, while you had worked in a restaurant before it was a couple of years ago and you'd worked there for less than a year. Still, an interview was an interview, and you wouldn't be too down if you didn't get it.

When you arrived at the restaurant, you wondered if you'd gone to the right address. In theory it looked like a restaurant, but there was still a whole lot of construction work going on. You wondered how soon the soon-to-be-open was exactly. Heading inside, you raised a brow at how much work was being done, an interview on a construction site would be a new experience for sure.

After a moment, a blonde woman walked through one of the open doorways, picking her way across the floor to you. She seemed to be heavily pregnant, but it didn't stop her weaving through the room with ease.

“Hi, sorry to keep you waiting,” She smiled as she approached you. “I'm Natalie, one of the managers here. You must be my ten o'clock interview, come on in.”

She led you to a table that had been laid out how you imagined all the tables would eventually look, with its elegant wine glasses and luxurious napkins and cutlery. There were, you noticed, three chairs across the table from you, your heart beating a little faster. You didn't mind interviews but when there were three or four people talking to you at once it could be a little intense.

You gave her your details and placed your purse on the back of your chair, taking a deep breath.

“Great,” Natalie smiled, placing the copy of your resume that you had given her on the table. “I'm just waiting for-”

“I'm here,” A voice called from across the room. “Sorry I'm late.”

You looked over, finding a tall man in a dark suit walking over to the table. He looked about mid-40s, piercing blue,eyes, pretty attractive but not necessarily your type. Not that it mattered, you told yourself. Finding your boss attractive hadn't been great for you historically.

The man introduced himself and you did the same, sitting up a little as he sat down beside Natalie.

“Are Carm and Sydney coming to this one?” Natalie asked Richie, quietly. “They said they would.”

“Said they'd try,” Richie replied, looking over to you with a polite smile. “But let's get started shall we?”

“Absolutely.” You nodded with a smile, taking a deep breath.

“Well let's tell you a little bit about us,” Natalie smiled. “As you can see we're still in the renovation stage, but we're close to the end now. We were a sandwich shop before but now we're moving to a more high end operation, which we're all very excited about. It's a great team we have here, and we're looking forward to building on what we already have.”

“That sounds great,” You smiled, glancing down to the table for a moment to gather your thoughts before looking back up. “I'm used to working as part of a strong team, so that wouldn't be a problem.”

“Excellent,” Natalie nodded, looking at your resume for a moment before looking over to Richie. “Well Richie here is our front of house manager so I'll let him fill you in on what we would expect from you.”

Richie nodded, looking over to you and you felt your heart race a little. For good or bad you weren't sure, but you decided to roll with it.

“As Natalie said we're going to be a high end operation,” Richie began, his gaze burning into you. “What does that mean to you?”

You thought about it for a moment, adjusting the napkin in front of you before looking back at Richie.

“To me it means excellent food, a comfortable and relaxed atmosphere, and a strong focus on customer service.”

Richie was quiet for a moment and you found yourself questioning your answer.

“Good,” Richie nodded, sitting back a little. “Now..”

It was fifteen or so minutes later when the door to the restaurant opened. Richie and Natalie both glanced over and you paused what you were saying. After a moment they looked back at you and you kept going, a man about your age coming over to the table and sitting in the empty chair beside Natalie. He gave you a polite smile and you felt your heart race in a way you knew definitely wasn't good but in the best possible way.

“Apologies for my brother's lateness,” Natalie sighed softly, gesturing to the man beside her. “This is Carmy, he's the head chef.”

He smiled as he held his hand out to you and it took you a second to remember your own name. You shook his had, trying to ignore the spark that shot through you.

The rest of the interview felt like a blur, before you knew it you were saying your goodbyes and heading out. You had no idea if you had actually done well or not, with every other interview you'd had some idea but you were honestly clueless with this one.

It was a couple of days later when you got a phone call. You had just gotten out of the shower when your phone rang, you could hear it from your bedroom and quickly threw a towel around yourself before heading into your bedroom. You didn't have time to check the ID before answering your phone, clutching your towel around yourself.

“Hello?”

“Hi, sorry to call so early.”

You vaguely recognised the voice, running through possible options in your head before it dawned on you.

“Uh..no, no it's fine,” You nodded, sitting on the edge of your bed. “Don't worry.”

“Great,” Carmy replied. “I wanted to thank you for coming in the other day, we had a lot of interviews..”

You took a deep breath as you braced yourself for rejection. It wouldn't be the worst thing, but it still always felt a little deflating to be told you weren't good enough.

“..and I wanted to let you know that we would love to have you on board, if you're still interested?”

Your heart flew into your mouth, your mind unable to process an answer for a moment.

“I..yes, yes I'm still interested,” You nodded, a smile breaking out on your face. “That's amazing, thank you so much.”

“My pleasure,” Carmy's voice sounded low in your ear and you found yourself clutching your towel tighter. “I know you have to work out your notice in your current job but whenever you're free to start, we'll be here.”

“Oh, great,” You murmured, cursing yourself for sounding so dazed. “I'll hand my notice in today, and..I'll keep you updated. Thank you so much.”

“Don't mention it, I'll talk to you soon okay?”

“Okay,” You nodded, saying your goodbyes before ending the call and sitting on your bed for a while longer to process what had happened. It was a weight off your shoulders, of course, but you still had a nervous excitement about it.

The two weeks you had to finish out seemed to pass by in an instant. On your last day you were given a card and flowers, someone brought in a cake, and you found yourself wondering if anyone would even remember you in a week's time.

Then, before you knew it, you were getting ready to start your first shift at the Bear. It was the opening night, and you weren't sure if the nerves would ever end. The evening was all a blur, you felt like you were on autopilot, watching your own body in action. Richie took the helm much to your relief, and you just followed his lead. By the time you were putting your jacket on and getting ready to go home, you weren't sure you hadn't dreamed the whole thing.

The nerves really hit on your following shift. There wasn't the buzz of the opening night, the pressure that made you strangely calm. You spent a solid two hours getting ready, looking at yourself in the mirror for a ridiculously long time. Your dress felt too short, even with your dark tights. Your makeup felt like it was too much and not enough. Eventually you had to leave, and tried to push your insecurities aside before they drove you crazy.

You arrived at the restaurant just in time for the staff dinner, taking your seat and taking off your jacket. You felt too nervous to eat, even though the food looked incredible. Instead, you opted to take a sip of water, glancing up and finding Carmy looking at you. He looked away when you met his eyes and you slowly set your cup down, adjusting your dress under the table.

While you forced yourself to eat something, you looked over to Richie as he launched into a story, finding yourself relaxing slightly. You were sure you felt eyes on you, but when you glanced at Carmy he wasn't looking at you. After dinner, the nerves struck again as everyone got ready for the service. You hung back for a moment, taking a deep breath.

“Hey, feeling okay?”

You looked up and swallowed a breath as you saw Carmy walking over to you.

“Uh..yeah, yeah I'm good,” You nodded, clearing your throat. “Just the tiniest bit nervous. It's been a minute since I was in a job like this..I hope last night wasn't just a fluke.”

“It wasn't,” Carmy smiled, raising a brow. “Don't worry. You were great, really great. You can do this, just overthink it, alright?”

“Alright,” You smiled, feeling the knot in your stomach loosen slightly. “I won't.”

Service actually went well, at least for a while. You put on a mask of confidence and found yourself feeling better about your abilities as the evening went on. Until, that is, you were in the kitchen explaining an order update for a table when Richie burst in with a face like thunder and your stomach dropped.

“Hey,” He looked over to you and you already wanted the ground to open up and swallow you.

“Did you seat table nine?”

“I..yes, I did,” You nodded, wondering what exactly the problem was, nothing springing to mind. “Why? Should I..not have?”

Richie sighed and ran his hand over his face, while you felt like you were back in school about to be ripped apart by a teacher.

“You seated them,” Richie nodded, resting his hands on his hips. “Despite the fact that table nine is reserved for seven thirty, did you just decide not to do your job?”

“I..I'm so sorry,” You insisted, holding your hands up. “It was a mistake, I take complete responsibility for it, I'm so sorry.”

“You should be,” Richie sighed, shaking his head. “You made the mess, you clean it up. I can't fucking believe this.”

“I..” You stopped yourself as Richie held his hand up, trying to hold back your tears and cursing yourself for being so damn overly sensitive.

“No, you just need to stop,” Richie muttered. “I gotta think.”

You closed your eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, looking over your shoulder as you felt a hand on your back.

“Don't worry,” Carmy murmured softly, meeting your eyes. “he's just a drama queen. You can do this, don't panic.”

You felt more eyes on you, some of the other chefs looking at you with surprise before they got back to work.

“Alright,” You nodded, taking a deep breath before looking back at Richie.

“I'll handle it.”

You left the kitchen, holding your head up high and leaving the mask aside.

After service was over, you slipped out to the back and sat on a low wall before pulling a back of cigarettes from your purse. A moment later you let out a long exhale and felt your body relax.

“Mind if I bum one of those?”

“Of course,” You smiled, holding the packet out to Carmy as he walked towards you. “Go for it.”

“Thanks,” Carmy nodded, taking the pack. “Didn't have you pegged as a smoker. No offense.”

“None taken,” You smiled, wrapping your arm around yourself. “I don't smoke so much anymore, just after a tough day. Stress reliever.”

Carmy nodded as he lit up a cigarette, handing you back the packet. “I get you. But I should warn you this job will have you back smoking full time, nature of it and all.”

You nodded as you took a drag of your cigarette, watching Carmy sit down beside you.

“Thanks for the heads up..and I'm sorry again for tonight.”

Carmy shook his head, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees.

“Don't apologize, honestly. It was an honest mistake, it all got resolved. Richie just needs to have a moment now and then. He'll apologize in a day or two.”

“Can't wait,” You laughed softly, flicking your cigarette by your feet. “I really thought he was gonna kill me at one point. If I'm still here in a month I'll be amazed.”

“You'll still be here,” Carmy nudged you gently. “If I have my way anyway. Don't let Richie get in your head. You're good at what you do, embrace it.”

“Are you a chef or a life coach?” You teased, smiling to yourself. “I just get a little too in my head sometimes, overthink things.”

“Well join the club,” Carmy laughed softly as he shook his head. “We're all guilty of that. You just gotta push past it, I guess.”

“Hm, has that ever worked for you?” You asked, looking over to Carmy.

“Honestly?” Carmy met your gaze, his cigarette between his lips and his eyes sincere. “Not even once.”

“Hm, I suspected as much,” You smiled, looking away. “easier said than done, right?”

“Right,” Carmy murmured. “So maybe we just tell each other when we're overthinking. Get the thoughts out.”

“That sounds great, in theory,” You raised a brow, looking up for a moment with a smile. “Guess we'll just have to see how it goes in practice.”

A month later, you had started to settle into your role more, getting more comfortable and confident. There were a couple of slip ups here and there, but you always seemed to have Carmy in your corner. You got better at handling problems, and gradually started to build a bond with Richie, who you grew a soft spot for.

One particular Saturday, there was a plan to go for drinks after work. You hadn't been planning to go, but figured it would be nice to spend some time with everyone outside of work, in your normal clothes and without only being able to speak in short bursts.

Well, you and Carmy did tend to spend some time after work having a cigarette, sometimes it was twenty minutes, sometimes it was an hour. At first you would just talk about work, about the night's service, any annoying customers, but gradually you started to learn more. You found that you enjoyed just listening to him talk, when he would tell you little snippets of his life. It was never too much, too detailed, but enough for you to piece together a more clear picture of his life. You shared some details of your life, never anything too much, but enough that he seemed interested, asking you more and more questions.

After service that Saturday, you felt like you could sleep for a week but everyone else's excitement gave you a buzz. You got changed in the bathroom, throwing on a pair of dark jeans and a simple red velvet top, stuffing your hostess dress into your bag. You felt more than ready for a drink, but there was one thing you had to do first.

“Didn't think you were coming out tonight.”

“For a drink or a smoke?” You asked, walking over to the wall and sitting beside Carmy. He was wearing jeans and a sweater but when you were so used to seeing him in his whites it made a difference.

“Either,” Carmy handed you a pack of cigarettes. “Not complaining though.”

“Didn't think you would,” You smiled, plucking a cigarette from the pack. “I told Syd I'd head to the bar in a few, they're all gonna go on ahead. Richie said first round on him.”

“I'll believe that when I see it,” Carmy scoffed, shaking his head. “What's your poison?”

“Arsenic,” You replied, looking over to Carm with a grin. “Ask an old question and get an old answer.”

“Alright, fair,” Carmy nodded, a smile on his face. “if I was to give you a drink right now what would you have?”

“Right now?” You looked up for a moment, thinking about it.

“Mm..probably like a whiskey sour.”

“You're such an old man,” Carm laughed as you rolled your eyes. “A whiskey sour?”

“It's a classic,” You lightly swatted his arm. “Don't knock it. We can't all be cool bros who drink fucking beer.”

“I never said I was having a beer,” Carmy raised a brow, holding his hand over his heart. “You're really gonna slap me with the bro label?”

“Yeah,” You nodded, taking a drag on your cigarette before looking over to Carm with a grin. “It's an old man's prerogative.”

You and Carm ended up arriving at the bar after everyone else had already finished half their first drinks. One of you had suggested walking to the bar, it didn't seem so far away at the time. On the way you'd stopped to get cigarettes, arguing over who was paying, Carmy beating you to the card machine by a split second.

The bar felt warm when you walked in, Carm's hand on your back as you removed your jacket not helping. He told you he'd order the drinks, disappearing before you could offer your card.

You joined the others, sitting down beside Richie and laughing as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and rested his head on yours. By the time Carmy came over with your drinks you were caught up in Syds's story, taking a moment before looking over to Carm and mouthing a ‘thank you’.

As the night went on, you weren't sure how many drinks you had actually had, between your trips to the bar more glasses were placed in front of you, everyone forgetting who they actually owed. In the latest bar you'd all ended up in, you leaned against Carmy's shoulder, his arm around yours.

“Oh shit,” You heard Richie exclaim, slowly dragging your gaze over to him.

“They got karaoke!”

“Karaoke?” You grinned, looking up at Carmy. “Oh wait, you're probably too cool for that, huh bro?”

“Shut up,” Carmy rolled his eyes with a smile, lightly squeezing your shoulder. “We can't all get up and belt out Sinatra.”

“Hey,” You raised a brow. “My drinks may be old but my music taste is not. Get me the sight up sheet.”

The lights of the stage felt bright and hot on your already warm skin, but you felt a rush of adrenaline as everyone cheered and your eyes met Carm's.

“Hey,” You smiled, giving a little wave and trying not to cringe at the sound of your voice in the microphone. “I'm gonna sing a song that I love, and hope I don't butcher it entirely.”

You laughed softly as the Bear crowd cheered, someone giving you a whistle. The alcohol-induced confidence took over you as the music started, and you decided to just embrace the moment as you held the microphone.

‘All the lights in Miami begin to gleam

Ruby, blue and green, neon too

Everything looks better from above my king

Like aquamarine, ocean's blue

Ah ah ah ah

Cacciatore

La da da da da

Limousines

Ah ah ah ah

Ciao amore

La da da da da

Soft ice cream’

Any lingering nerves you had disappeared when you looked over to your table and heard cheers, your eyes meeting Carmy's for a moment. His gaze was totally focused on you, your heart beating faster as you continued the song, feeling a little more confident as you kept your gaze on him.

‘Catch me if you can

Working on my tan

Salvatore

Dying by the hand

Of a foreign man

Happily

Calling out my name

In the summer rain

Ciao amore

Salvatore can wait

Now it's time to eat

Soft ice cream’

You felt like you were in a daze as the song ended, smiling when there was a round of applause and making your way back to the table. Richie squeezed your shoulder and went to get you a drink, which you knew would have you fully committing to a hangover but you didn't care.

“You were incredible,” Carmy whispered in your ear, low and warm. “I had no idea you could sing.”

“Really?” You grinned, turning your head and meeting his eyes. “Well I guess I'm just full of surprises.”

A couple of hours later, you found yourself trying not to fall asleep in the back of an Uber, your head on Carmy's shoulder. You were drunk, but not so much that you had lost all sense of yourself. Instead you felt pleasantly buzzed and sleepy, wanting to fall into your bed and stay there forever.

“We're here,” Carm gently squeezed your shoulder, dragging you from your drifting thoughts. “Let's go.”

You let him help you out of the car, your arm linked with his as he led you to the door of your building. It took a minute to remember the code to the door, but you got there in the end, laughing to yourself when it worked.

“Now I just need to remember what number my apartment is,” You sighed as you pushed the button for the elevator, grinning as Carmy gave you a deadpan look. “Kidding, don't worry.”

When you reached your front door, you expected Carmy to give a polite excuse and leave, even though that was the last thing you wanted him to do. When he didn't, you tried not to look too pleased, holding the door open for him and taking a deep breath.

“Where's your kitchen?” Carm asked, turning to you as you closed the door. “I'll get you some water.”

“Just through there,” You smiled, gesturing to the door on your left. “I'm gonna go change.”

You went into your bedroom, leaving the door open and flicking on the light. You peeled off your clothes and dropped them into/close enough to the laundry hamper before heading to the chest of drawers and pulling open a drawer. You rifled through until you found a pair of simple blue pajamas, pulling on the t-shirt then the shorts.

When you turned around Carm was heading through the door, glancing around the room before placing the glass of water on your nightstand. He turned to look at you and you felt your heart leap from your chest.

“Stay,” You asked, or rather requested, feeling a little embarrassed by your firmness. “I mean..if you want, you can stay. It's pretty late.”

“Oh, uh..okay,” Carmy nodded, and you found yourself relaxing a little. “Sure. I can crash on the couch.”

“Don't be stupid,” You smiled, gesturing to your double, albeit a small double, bed. “It's alright, I don't bite.”

Carm looked concerned for a moment before he laughed and shook his head.

“Ah what the hell. It's one night.”

“Don't sound too offended to share my bed,” You teased, walking over to the nightstand and picking up the glass. “Not just anyone gets that privilege.”

“I'm flattered,” Carm laughed softly, rubbing his neck. “Just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“You couldn't if you tried,” You insisted, gently touching his arm before sitting down on your bed. “Now hurry up, I'm exhausted.”

A couple of moments later, Carm was down to his shorts, and you tried not to stare. He turned out the light before you could hear him crossing the room. You slipped under the covers, your breath catching as you felt him get in beside you.

“Comfortable?” You asked, turning onto your side and resting your hand under your pillow.

“Yeah,” Carmy nodded, laying on his back. You could just about make him out in the dark, the lingering scent of his cologne, cigarettes and beer feeling heady and desirable. “Thanks.”

“You're welcome,” You murmured softly, taking a breath. “tonight was really fun..I can't really remember the last time I had a night out.”

“Me too,” Carm sighed softly, the mattress dipping slightly as he turned to face you. “I'll pay for it tomorrow, I feel the hangover creeping over the horizon.”

“That's the downside to getting older,” You shrugged softly. “You start to feel hungover before you've even gone to sleep.”

“Well you would know,” Carm retorted. “You old, old man.”

You gasped and reached out to lightly swat his arm, smiling as he laughed.

“That is uncalled for. I'm old, not old old.”

“Is there a difference?” Carm asked, his voice dropping low as he nestled into the pillow.

“Not really,” You murmured softly, your hand resting on the gap in the mattress. “But I stand by my actions.”

“Never had you pegged as violent,” Carm murmured, his hand resting close to yours. “Learning so much about you.”

“Hey I can't give away all my secrets,” You smiled softly, moving your hand ever so slightly closer to his. “I like being a little mysterious.”

“I like that,” Carmy laughed softly, his hand moving to lay gently on top of yours. “But I like everything about you so..hardly a surprise.”

You were quiet for a moment, a tired smile forming on your face.

“I like everything about you too,” You murmured softly, feeling like you could see Carm clearly even in the darkness.

“Hardly a surprise.”

He let out a gentle laugh, his thumb gently stroking over your hand. You felt your heart fly into your mouth, like you were suddenly wide awake and able to see through the alcohol-induced haze.

“We should get some sleep.”

The words had your heart dropping back into your stomach, your mouth turning dry.

“Uh..yeah, yeah we should,” You murmured, closing your eyes and trying not to feel so disappointed. “Sweet dreams.”

Before you knew it the mattress had dipped again, and his hand was gone from yours.

Carmy was already gone when you woke up the next morning, and you decided to try and put the memories of his hand on yours to rest.

For the next week at work, you felt like you weren't really yourself. Maybe it was subconscious, but you found yourself avoiding Carmy where possible. You sat at the opposite end of the table to him at family dinner, you stopped going for a smoke after work, and only really interacted with him in a professional manner. You could see he was confused by the change, and you hoped he would understand. In time you'd be like you were, you just needed time for your feelings to dissolve.

The following Saturday, you felt like you were going through the motions at work, flicking the customer service switch on when you needed to. Any time you'd gone into the kitchen Carm had looked at you with a smile and you had forced yourself to look away, guilt eating away at you.

Then it happened.

The worst possible situation you could find yourself in.

The front door had opened and you looked up from the reservations list to greet the latest visitors, your heart sinking as you saw who it was.

Your ex-boyfriend, someone you had very carefully avoided for months was walking towards you with a woman holding onto his arm and giggling. She looked beautiful, was probably a decent, kind person. You wondered how long it would be before she realized who exactly she was dating.

It took every ounce of self control you had to stay professional, to smile and greet the pair. The reservation was under her name, and you knew it was a purposely chosen move. He lived on the other side of town, there was no way he would just happen to come to the Bear if you didn't work there, you knew it.

After taking them to their table, you found Richie and told him you needed a moment, which he granted you. You went to the bathroom and locked yourself in a cubicle, leaning against the door.

He was out there, you couldn't avoid him. You imagined Richie getting their drinks, finding them to be a charming, loved up couple. Because your ex was great at making people think that. He was charming and witty and romantic, on the surface. Until you were alone with him.

You made your way back out to the floor, trying to focus on work. When you had to go into the kitchen you felt overwhelmed by the heat, the smells, the voices coming from every direction. You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose, taking a deep breath. A moment later, you felt a hand on your back, your eyes opening and your heart calming as you met Carmy's gaze.

“Hey,” He smiled softly, raising a brow. “You good?”

“Yeah,” You nodded softly, wanting to touch his arm to ground yourself but forcing yourself not to. “I'm good.”

Back on the floor, you felt like you were in a daze. Any time you had to go to your ex's table it was like torture. He was perfectly polite, didn't give any indication he knew you, but you could feel his eyes burning into you.

After you took another small break to compose yourself, you left the bathroom and let out a gasp as you found your ex in the vestibule. You wanted to run to the door, go back to the floor. As you went to leave however, he grabbed your wrist, and you wanted to scream.

“Just gonna leave without saying hello properly?”

“Let me go,” You snapped, looking back at him and trying to pull your wrist free from his grasp. “Now.”

“What's the rush?” Your ex grinned, and you felt sick. “Let's have a little catch up. This where you been since you ran off?”

“I said let me go,” You repeated, gasping when your ex stepped forward and shoved you against the wall. He kept his hand on your wrist, his other hand resting on the wall by your head.

“Not so hasty hm?” Your ex smiled, tilting his head. “I think you owe me an explanation.”

“I don't owe you anything!” You snapped, trying to push him away and failing. “Get off me or I'll scream.”

“Oh try it,” Your ex laughed. “Your theatrics never worked before and they won't work now. “Now, maybe you want to tell me why you left? I never did get an explanation, did I?”

You opened your mouth to scream, the sound immediately muffled as your ex's hand clamped over your mouth, a furious look in his eyes.

“Don't you fucking dare,” He snapped, his hand pressing harder. “Nobody disrespect me, certainly not you. Look at you, you're pathetic.”

You felt tears welling up in your eyes, panic setting in. You knew what he was capable of, and you wouldn't be able to go back onto the floor if he lost control and left bruises.

The main door began to push open, your ex immediately stepping back from you while you tried to quickly compose yourself. You felt a sense of relief when Richie walked in, your heart racing as you spotted Carmy walk in behind him.

“Everything okay?” Richie asked, looking over to you. “You were gone a while,” He looked over to your ex, skeptically, before looking back to you. “Just wanted to see if you were good to get back out.”

“Yes,” You nodded, taking a deep breath and avoiding meeting anyone's eyes. “Apologies, chef. I'll head back out.”

“She will in a second,” Your ex smiled, reaching out to grab your wrist, his fingers digging into your skin. “We're old friends, just catching up.”

“Well I have to go,” You murmured, trying to subtly free yourself and feeling fresh tears well up as your ex tightened his grip. “So..”

“Right,” Richie nodded, his eyes on your ex while you briefly met Carmy's gaze. “I'll escort you back to your table, sir.”

“Yeah, in a minute,” Your ex nodded, pulling you closer to him. “We just have some things to discuss.”

“Please don't do this,” You muttered, tears filling your vision, trying to pull your wrist free as your ex grabbed your arm firmly.

“Hey,” You heard Carmy's voice and looked down at the ground, trying to compose yourself. “I need my staff to get back to work, and I need you to get the fuck out of my restaurant.”

“Fuck yes cousin,” Richie nodded. “He's out.”

“I don't think so,” Your ex laughed, squeezing your arm harder. “I'm a paying customer, show some respect.”

“Show some respect?” Carmy repeated, a harsh edge in his voice. “I'm giving you a chance to leave quietly, I suggest you take it.”

“Or what?” Your ex smirked, stepping closer to you. “I'll leave when I want. Like I said, we're catching up.”

“That's it,” Carmy sighed, stepping closer. “Get the fuck out of my restaurant right now before I have you forcibly removed.”

You let out a gasp as you were pushed back against the wall, everything happening in a blur. You could hear Carm and Richie saying something as they grabbed your ex and pulled him off you. Richie hauled him outside before Carmy's hand was in yours, guiding you out into the restaurant and through the kitchen, the two of you finally ending up in his office.

“Sit down,” Carm gestured to the desk chair. “I'll go get you some water.”

“No,” You insisted, reaching out to touch his arm. “Please. Don't leave me alone.”

Carm was quiet for a moment before he nodded, stepping closer to you and wrapping his arms around you. You buried your face in his neck, clinging to him as you tried to stop your tears to no avail.

You weren't sure how much time passed, but before you knew it it was closing time. You assured Carm you were okay before you went to help Richie out front, giving him a nod as he gave you a concerned look.

When it came time to leave, you clutched your keys tightly in your hand, making your way to your car and taking a deep breath. You felt like you couldn't breathe properly until you arrived back home and checked every room. Your ex didn't know where you lived, but it didn't stop you feeling a little paranoid.

After getting ready for bed, you decided to stay up a little longer, settling on the couch to watch a movie. While you were scrolling through Netflix your phone rang, and the brief panic that hit you subsided when you saw it was Carmy calling you.

“Hey,” You smiled softly as you answered, picking up one of the cushions and holding it against you. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, all good,” Carm replied, and you could swear you heard traffic in the background. “Could you let me into your building? I didn't want to buzz, just in case.”

“Oh,” You glanced to the door before slowly standing up. “Uh..yeah, yeah just give me a second.”

You set the cushion down and walked to the door, pushing the button to open the door.

“Come on up, I'll see you in a second.”

You ended the call, taking a step back from the door and clutching your phone. When there was a knock at your door you took a second before opening it.

“Hey, come in,” You stepped aside, giving a quick glance out to the hall before closing the door and turning to Carmy.

“Are you sure everything is okay?”

“Of course,” Carm nodded, rubbing his cheek. “I uh..I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I was going to offer you ride home but I thought I might be being too much and you would be uncomfortable which is fair then I couldn't stop thinking about you and I thought I should-”

You held up your hand with a smile, tilting your head slightly.

“I'm glad you're here. I probably would have ended up calling you anyway so..it's fine. I'm just trying to find a movie, I'm open to suggestions.”

An hour later, you were sitting on the couch with your head on Carm's shoulder, his arm around your waist. You were only half focused on the movie, too busy enjoying Carm's presence after isolating yourself for a week. Cuddling up to him wouldn't help you dissolve your feelings but you were willing to overlook that, given recent events.

“Damn,” Carm murmured softly, his hand gently stroking your waist. “I guess they'll have to take down the government after all.”

“What?” You raised a brow, looking over to him.

“I knew you weren't paying attention,” Carmy laughed softly, looking at you with a grin.

“Oh shut up,” You rolled your eyes playfully. “it's not my fault it can't hold my attention. Got other things on my mind.”

“Yeah,” Carm nodded, clearing his throat and looking up for a moment. “I uh..I wanted to ask, how are you feeling after..after tonight?”

You thought about it for a moment, looking over to the TV and letting out a soft sigh.

“I feel like it was some kind of surreal dream. I don't hear so much as a whisper for months, almost a year, then suddenly he's just there..but I really appreciate what you did,” You looked back to Carmy, gently touching his arm. “I hate that you had to get involved in my drama but..thank you.”

“Don't mention it,” Carm looked back to you. “I wasn't going to stand back and let it happen. You don't deserve to be treated like that. You deserve..I don't know, the universe.”

“The universe?” You repeated, smiling softly. “That's a lot to handle but..if I'm deserving of it I guess I'll learn to handle the responsibility.”

“That's my girl,” Carm smiled, and you felt a knot twist in your stomach at how much the words made your heart leap. “You deserve it and more.”

“Could you..could you not say that?” You murmured softly, taking a deep breath and feeling guilty when Carm immediately looked like he'd regretted everything he'd ever done.

“It wasn't bad, I just..I want you to say those things but I also don't because it's just going to give me more feelings for you and I really can't even handle the ones I already have so..”

“You have feelings for me,” Carm murmured softly, and you weren't sure whether it was a question or a statement, looking away from him. “I..I had no idea. I mean, I didn't think you hated me but..you were so distant this week I thought I'd done something to you.”

“No, never,” You insisted, trying not to cry at how badly you felt you were handling the situation. “I just thought I could get rid of my feelings if I wasn't around you so much, that's all.”

“Why didn't you just tell me?” Carm asked softly, his hand on your waist feeling more prominent. “Am I so unapproachable? Oh god, am I unapproachable? That's it isn't it? You thought I would like flip out or something, and I swear I never would, not at you, ever.”

“I know,” You nodded, looking back at him. “I just..I didn't want to make things awkward. I'm not in high school, I don't want to act like I am. I may as well have gotten Syd to pass you a note from me, check the box if you like me kinda vibe.”

“Don't you want to know if I would have ticked the box?” Carm asked, his tone gentle. “Because I would have. Every time.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head and looking up.

“Damn, guess I should have sent you the none then hm?”

“Well there's still time,” Carm smiled as you looked back at him. “Though I can't guarantee Syd wouldn't just chuck it in the trash. You know when you started she told me not to fall in love with you because the restaurant needs you more than I do?”

“Good thing you didn't then,” You smiled, leaning in a little closer and resting your hand on Carm's cheek. “I can stay.”

You leaned in and closed the gap between you, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He hesitated for a moment before kissing you back, surging forward.

Your arms wrapped around Carm's neck as he eased you onto your back, the kiss deepening. All the stress of the evening melted away as you felt Carm touch you carefully, smiling into the kiss as you reached for the hem of his white t-shirt and tugged it up.

It didn't like long to have Carm completely stripped, a frown on his face as he looked at you.

“Well this isn't a fair trade.”

“No?” You smiled, picking at your pajama top. “ Well I'm not stopping you leveling the field.”

It took a little longer for you to be stripped, your breath catching in your throat as Carm took his time removing your pajamas, leaving a trail of kisses on your skin as he did. You felt exposed, laying on the couch in your deeply unsexy mismatched bra and panties, but in the most wonderful way.

“Still not quite even,” You smiled softly, reaching out to gently stroke Carm's cheek and beaming when he leaned down to kiss you, his hand gripping your waist.

“You're right,” Carm murmured softly, pulling back and meeting your eyes. “It's not fair.”

He sat back, his hand slowly moving down to grip the waistband of your panties. You kept your eyes on him as he slowly peeled them down your thighs, stopping after a moment.

“Close enough.” He grinned,his hands moving to your thighs and lifting them up. Your breath hitched in your throat as you watched him move between your legs, closing your eyes as he slowly spread your legs, feeling the material of your panties rub against your leg.

“Oh god,” You breathed as you felt Carm lick a stripe along your already soaked folds, his hands gripping your thighs and holding you in place. His movements were achingly slow as he licked you, one of his hands slowly moving along your thigh.

It had been a long while since you'd felt so good, a wave slowly building in your stomach. Any urge to beg for more was dissolved as you felt Carm's finger gently sweep across your entrance, his tongue swirling your clit. You couldn't focus on anything, your hand moving to his curls as he eased his finger into your warm entrance, your eyes clenching shut as moans tumbled from your lips.

By the time he added a second finger you felt like you were ready to fall apart, his tongue moving slowly but precisely, exactly where you needed without having to tell him.

“Oh, fuck,” You moaned as you felt yourself get closer to the edge, your free hand clamping over your forehead. “Please..I..ohh my god..”

You felt your eyes roll back into your head, your breath catching in your throat as you came, feeling like you could see stars.

You wasted no time in pulling Carm up to you, tasting yourself on his lips and letting out a moan at the sensation. He pulled at your bra straps, tugging down your bra and rolling your nipple between his thumb and finger.

“Please,” You murmured against his lips, your forehead hot against his. “Fuck me, now, please..”

“Are you sure?” Carm asked, giving you another kiss as he moved his hand down between your legs, a moan escaping you as he touched your sensitive pussy.

“We can go to your bed, or wait, or..”

“Carm,” You breathed, opening your eyes and looking at him. “Please..I can't wait. I'm on the pill, it's fine, just..please.”

He met your gaze, a look in his eyes you hadn't seen before that had you soaked even more instantly.

“Use your words,” He murmured softly, two fingers pushing back into you as you moaned. “What does my girl want?”

“Oh god,” You groaned, wanting to stay in the moment forever. “I want..I want you to fuck me, now.”

“Anything my girl wants,” Carm grinned, slowly easing his fingers out of you and replacing them with his thick cock, another moan escaping you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your legs hooked around his waist, wanting him as close as possible.

You felt like everything fell away around you as Carm moved slowly, getting you used to the feel of him, before he was pulling you up into his lap, his lips wrapping around your hard nipple as your nails dug into your shoulders, his hands on your waist encouraging you to set the pace.

By the time the two of you were laying on the couch, catching your breath with your arms lazily draped around each other, you wondered when you'd last been so unbearably happy.

“I'll understand if you immediately run away when I say this,” You looked over to Carm with a smile. “But.

I love you.”

He looked over to you, a wide smile on his face as he moved closer, his arm wrapping firmly around your waist.

“I love you too. Which is a shame, I guess. Gotta find a new hostess now.”

“Yeah, sucks to be you,” You grinned, moving your hand into Carm's hair. “Though before you fire me could you help me fulfill this little fantasy I have of fucking my boss at work?”

“I guess I could,” Carm grinned, leaning in to place a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Let's get in some more practice shall we?”

#the bear #the bear 🐻#the bear fic #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader #request #we got there eventually

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dsknsk · 6 months

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I love how PM keeps playing with tropes. We've seen the tropes that they deconstruct within Limbus (in fact, it is a theory of mine that each Sinner is based on a stereotypical character from gachas), the way that they pick up the cyberpunk trope and basically throw it across the room, but another huge one is...

Carmen.

Look. I think that Carmen was and is based on the traditional 'Mary Sue'. Because...well, some traits that are said to belong to the 'Mary Sue', are turned brilliantly on their head by PM. So, for typical 'Mary Sue' traits, there's:

Pretty in the traditional sense. 'Mary Sues' always look perfect, peerless and never have to work hard to maintain their image. While, as far as I know, there hasn't really been made an in-universe compliment on Carmen's physical appearance...you'd rather stop and listen to someone who at least looks like they can be trusted wouldn't you? She's likened to the sun, as Oswald called her that, and is inside the light. (Also, out-of-universe: she is certainly pretty in my eyes. She adheres to the modern beauty standards at the very least).

Related to the above: charming. The 'Mary Sue' often has an innate charm that attracts others to her. The way that Carmen has this is through her voice, which already was powerful enough to let her traverse the dangerous Backstreets unarmed, standing out from all those other Backstreets preachers somehow and draw in the most cynical noblemen, but is even more charming after death. She doesn't even need to give a breaking speech or anything, as we've seen, she just gives you questions and comments on things. Which falls in line with...

Powerful, yet without having to break a sweat. Even before dying, she was already drawing in people without having to get physical (at least, none we know of). The only time we fight her as of yet (Kether realisation), Angela needs to use an attack that depletes all her HP to win, after five phases have already passed.

The 'Mary Sue' is often a so-called spotlight stealer. She will have a major role in the story, inexplicably, at least one other character will fall in love with her and she will overall have a large presence. So far, Carmen is the only character who has appeared in all three of the games, and if you count the Distortion and the Library, she has influenced WonderLab, Leviathan and Distortion Detective as well. She was also relevantly connected to the main cast of LobCorp and has influenced most of them in some way (i.e Ayin, Angela, Giovanni, arguably Kali, etc.). She remains to be relevant to several major story turns and has left her mark in them, in some way.

Unusual eyes. It's a stereotype that 'Mary Sues' always have unusual eyes. A common type is heterochromia (which is why I often jokingly call Hong Lu a 'Mary Sue'), but other types exist like sparkly rainbow or them changing like a mood ring or something. Carmen has red eyes, which are a common side-effect of body enhancements (Vergilius had them and the R Corp pack leaders too)...except, as we said, for as far as we know, Carmen hasn't had any. They are also a trait of Bloodfiends, but she isn't (yet) confirmed to be one. Either way, red eyes are a sign of the not-weak in the City.

Oftentimes, 'Mary Sues' are referred to as divinity, as pure grace from an utmost high all-powerful deity. They may or may not even be that deity. With Carmen, she practically had a cult of personality around her when she was alive...and she also had an analogue in another pale-skinned, red-eyed being that is also treated like this. She was described as this paeon of altruism and someone who genuinely wants the best for humanity.

Meaningful name. While not so immediately on-the-nose like 'Flowersparkle', Carmen's name can be seen as a reference to the infamous prototype of the femme fatale, once again hinting at that charming quality of hers.

Perfect. A 'Mary Sue' never fails at what she does...and that's where PM shows through that...

...Carmen is a parody on the 'Mary Sue'. A so-called 'Parody Sue'...but not played for laughs. The thing is that she is described as being all this...by those she already has enthralled. Those that aren't really involved with her - Hokma (was more loyal to Ayin), Binah (who wasn't in the picture during Carmen's life), and Roland (a stranger to LobCorp to begin with) have their say during Ruina and offer us another view at Carmen, our first, and one thing becomes clear:

A real 'Mary Sue' would be weird as fuck.

Carmen shows us how weird a 'Mary Sue' would actually be in a world that isn't sunshine and rainbows - an extremely uncanny, severely misguided being who nonetheless draws people to herself, who show a creepy amount of belief and devotion to her. Carmen thinks that the 'be yourself' message - so omnipresent in media - should prevail...in a world where the majority of people are either pieces of shit or are living such a dreary, miserable life that they just give up all hope.

But all of this is only revealed in the second game and pulls the player out of the dream. And so, Carmen does end up failing to convince some people like Dongbaek and Dongrang who manage to develop E.G.O instead.

Because despite what she was painted as in the past, in reality, Carmen is not a 'Mary Sue'. And she is not perfect.

That's why she's such a great PM character.

#limbus company #library of ruina #lobotomy corporation

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thebearer · 1 year

Note

donna coming over to see teddy but it’s 3 in the morning and she’s so drunk

oooh that's not gonna fly with carm.

"Who the fuck is at the door?" Carmen groaned, eyes still bleary with sleep, head foggy and filled with agitation.

For a moment, he thought the doorbell was in his mind. Some weird side effect from lack of sleep. Until your hand lightly pushed his chest, more so in caution and urgency rather than the usual"get the baby" shove.

Carmen shuffled towards the door, rubbing his eyes, cursing as the doorbell went off again. "Yo, I don't know who the fuck you-" The door swung open and Carmen froze. He wasn't sure who to expect at three in the morning, but it certainly wasn't his mother.

"Carm," Her voice held that rasp, nails digging into the brick of the brownstone to keep herself steady, bleary eyed and woozy. "I-I came to see the baby."

"What?" Carmen snapped, brows furrowed. Donna tried to push past him, stepping towards the house, but Carmen blocked her. "Ma, what the fuck? What're you doin' here? It's three in the morning, I just got Teddy to sleep-"

"-Teddy?" Donna's eyes lit up for a moment, fingers pressing to her lips. "You named her Teddy?"

Carmen paused, trying to read her reaction. "Yeah, Dorothea, but we call her Teddy for short." He muttered, watching her carefully repeat the name over and over.

"I didn't even know my granddaughter's name." Donna shook her head, and for some reason, it was more accusatory towards Carmen than herself. "I'm here to see her."

"No, not tonight." Carmen shook his head, putting a hand on the doorframe to stop her. "No, Ma, it's three in the morning."

"You're not going to let me meet my granddaughter?" Donna scoffed.

"No, I'm not letting you wake my daughter up at three in the morning. We're trying to get her on a schedule, c'mon." Carmen said firmly.

"Carmen Anthony, I'm disappointed in you." Donna shook her head, eyes flashing with anger. "I thought I raised you better. You won't let your own mother-"

"-See my daughter drunk? At three in the morning?" Carmen snapped, eyes flashing back at hers. "You wanna see Teddy? Come back sober and in the day time. Not drunk at three am like a deadbeat lunatic." Donna gasped, face crumbling dramatically at the words.

Carmen rolled his eyes lightly, stepping back inside. "Get home safe, Ma." He muttered, shutting the door on her.

"Who was that?" You asked, arms wrapped around yourself, looking at Carmen sleepily from the bed.

"My mom." Carmen muttered, shaking his own head. "Wanted to see Teddy. She was drunk."

"Oh." You muttered, unsure of what else to say. "Did you... Did you tell her to come back... later?"

"Yeah, when she wasn't drunk and it wasn't three in the morning." Carmen sighed, sinking into the mattress next to you. He peeked over at Teddy in her bassinet, the sound machine keeping her content and quiet, watching her little chest rise and fall.

He sunk down next to you, one arm thrown around your waist. You settled a little more uncomfortably, unsure of what to say to comfort him. "I-I'm sorry about your mom."

"Don't worry about it, baby. I'm not worried about it." Carmen muttered, his eyes already pulling shut. "Pissed off she woke me up, but at least Teddy's still asleep."

"Don't speak too soon." You warned, waving a finger at him playfully, melting into the warmness of his chest, snuggling closer. "You'll wake her up."

Carmen snorted lightly in laughter, pulling you closer to him. He wasn't surprised when Donna didn't show up the next day, or the day after that, or until Pete and Sugar brought her almost two weeks later to a brunch at their house.

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pogueit · 5 months

Text

C.B: 1 New Voicemail

Paring: Carmy Berzatto x Reader

Summary: You decided to leave the fresh coast to pursue your art in NYC. However, you fail to mention it your best friend… Carmy Berzatto.

Warnings: some anxiety symptoms?? If there’s anything else let me know!!

WC: 2.3k

A/N: Yay!! I’m writing again!! Albeit veryyyyy slowly but I’m currently working on stuff for the other characters from The Bear and Criminal Minds!! Also, there was a semi prequel to this (its to do with Family and Friends night) but I scrapped it (not entirely) but if you guys want that let me know!!

📞☎️📞☎️📞☎️📞☎️📞☎️📞☎️📞☎️📞☎️

He couldn’t sleep. He’s finally got everything he has ever wanted and he still couldn’t sleep. His phone hums lightly against the hard wood of the night stand and his hand instinctively reaches for it. The warm tone radiating off the screen helped his eyes adjust to the sudden light almost immediately. However, it took a second for his brain to process the words on the screen.

Y/N Missed Call

1 New Voicemail

His face instantly morphs into confusion. You never left voicemails. You always just kept calling and calling until he picked up, which always drove him nuts, however, now seeing the voicemail notification on his phone only unsettles him. Carmen sat up from his supine position, carefully so as to not wake the peacefully sleeping Claire. He swings his legs off the mattress and props himself up by placing his elbows on his knees with his head hanging low, peering at the screen. He debates whether or not to listen to the recording or wait until morning, which he would admit was stupid to consider as even he knows deep down he can never stall anything involving you. His thumb was quick to click on the notification before he could consider anything else. “C-Bass!” The sheer volume of your voice made him wince and rush to turn it down. A comforting warmth spread throughout his chest hearing the stupid nickname you gave him in middle school. “I’m assuming that you’re listening to this in the morning, but with your shit sleeping habits I know you’re listening to this right now. I just wanted to say that I’m leaving for New York—“ Carmy’s relaxed body immediately became rigid and he began searching for his shoes in the dark. There’s so many things he wants to tell you and to finally get off his chest, but you continue.“Like I’m at the airport right now—“ He halts his movements “So don’t try to run over here” you let out a breathy laugh and he can feel his heart seize up at the sound that never ceases to amaze him. You’ve had that effect on him since you’ve become friends but he has become unbearably aware of it in recent days. “I, uh, just wanted to start by saying that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but it’s just been so hard— and now with the restaurant it felt even worse—“ You had to take a second to breathe and regain your composure and he wanted to do nothing more than to ease you through it and calm you down. “It— I got an offer from MoMA— Well, I submitted some pieces to them and Robbie vouched for me, but I got the offer last week.” you didn’t sound as proud as you should be, but that didn’t matter. Carmy was ready to take over for you and he gladly let the emotion rattle through him. He didn’t understand much of the complexities that go into your art just like you don’t understand the complexities of the culinary world, but that never stopped him from being proud of you even if it wasn’t something monumental. No one has been as proud of you as Carmy has and he will gladly continue to hold that title. “They need me over there for the installation and other artsy fartsy things, that I won’t bore you with.” You laugh, but it wasn’t as genuine as he hoped it would be and you let out a sigh.

He’s getting antsy. Carmy couldn’t stop his left leg from subconsciously bouncing, so he opts to stand up instead. Your voice continues as he quietly makes his way to the living room and takes a seat on the couch. “I just need to get out of here, C, and this was my chance like I finally have a reason to leave— maybe semi-permanently.” All your explicit and unexplicit reasons were always good enough to Carmen and he’s surprised you even stayed here this long. There was a piece inside of him that wished you agreed to go to New York with him and maybe things would have played out differently. He feels like a righteous asshole just thinking about it with Claire sleeping soundly in the next room. You draw in another breath, clearly dwelling on certain emotions that you’re uncertain of baring to him, which pains him that you even had to think about telling him anything. “I told my ma and pa and all them about me leaving and they took it well, actually, maybe too well— This is stupid, but— I stayed for them and they just wanted me gone. Everything I did and everything I sacrificed is dust. I don’t know, man, maybe I was looking or, uh, hoping for a different reaction, I don’t know.” You let out a deep sigh and he can picture you slumped down on one of those awful O’Hare lounge chairs with your spare hand rubbing the long day away from your face. “I should’ve kept calling you so I could hear your voice. You always make everything better, Carmen. I hate that I couldn’t tell you—“ Your voice was barely above a whisper like it was meant only for yourself. Your name is heavy on his tongue and he can feel his right hand twitched slightly as if to reach out to you. As if you weren’t solely an image in his head and the closest you’ll ever be to him in months. He stands up again to pace around the living room so he could have something else to focus on. “But— I just knew that if I did I wouldn’t be at the airport right now. You make me do crazy things Berzatto…” Your voice trails off slightly at the end and he knows you’re listening to the voice that’s coming from the overhead speakers, but he swears the phone grows cold without your cheek pressed against it. “Anyways—“ You regain your composure and continue with the warmth returned to the cellular device, “Bizarre-o tangent over, the Bear is going to be great and everyone is going to love it. You have nothing to worry about and you have an amazing thing going with Claire and I just want to let you know how proud I am of you and everyone who made this crazy ass thing work! God, this is nuts but— Alright, alright, I actually have to get going or the stewards are going to have my head on a pike, see ya soon you crazy bastard”.

The line went dead and the warmth that you graciously provided was gone as the metallic cool of the robotic voice took over. He finally sits down again and lets himself become shrouded in unpleasant darkness. The whirlwind of emotions that plagued him earlier were now absent which made him feel somehow worse. Nothing to keep him company except the gloating sun, who is attempting to make its appearance just beyond the horizon. As he watches the amber light pool into the room, there is an onslaught feeling of a fifty pound weight tucked into his stomach.

Carmen feels sick.

The heaviness in abdomen is awash with acid and he feels like he is going to vomit, yet he can’t do anything but sit there with itchy hands. The bile at the base of his throat finally flips a switch in his brain. The last fibers of control dissipate as memories swiftly flood his senses. They crash and collide. Violently dissolving like sea foam on sand only for them to recede into waves and surge forward again and again. It’s a blurry mess, but his hands find it easy to call you. It’s all he needs to reach his calm. He needs it just as much as you need him. The initial ring echoes through his head and the pause lasts for an eternity. His face is running hot and he’s thinking too much. It’s something he already knows, but once he starts it’s hard for him to stop. All the different possible scenarios are playing rapidly in his brain and he can’t keep up. The phone buzzes again, still trying to connect him to you. His hand is swimming through his hair impatiently as he starts pacing the living room for the uptenth time. The phone hums steadily another time. All of his emotions are caught in his throat and his stomach is in a perpetual knot. His breathing is shallow leaving his lungs aching for more and it’s almost as if there was no more air left in the atmosphere.

Then it clicks.

“Hello, sunshine” Relief crashes over him eagerly when the sound of your voice reaches his ears. He can tell that you're smiling and he can even see it briefly when he closes his eyes. Carmy is finally able to stop pacing and takes a second to sit down on the cool tiles of the kitchen floor.

“C-bass” You elongate the notes in a singsong way to reel him in. Your voice sounds off. It was hard for him to pinpoint at first but now it was easy to hear it was the nerves eating you up. “Yeah, yeah, I’m here” he sighs, the heel of his hand rubbing his left eye, “I, uh, thought you weren’t going to pick up.” He can feel the exhaustion settling in as he slouches against a cabinet. You fight with your carry-on as you move through the quiet terminal. It’s a maze of sleeping bodies and you try your best not to wake them. Once you reach your designated gate and find a semi-secluded spot, you continue ”Sorry about that, they changed the gate and delayed the damn thing.”

”I’m glad” Carmy mumbles without a second thought as he reveles in your long distance presence. ”You’re glad I’m stuck here?” You try to act all serious but he can hear the lightness in your voice and he can’t help but crack a smile. ”No, no, it’s just— uh, I’m glad that I can hear your voice” the cadence in his words forces you to bite down on your bottom lip to stop the stupid grin from spreading. It’s the Carmy effect. Idiotic smiles are plenty when the two of you are together.

”Fuck, me too” Your voice contradicts the violent affection that rattles your insides. It’s shy, almost as if you were embarrassed to admit it. There was a beat of silence, but Carmy beat you to speaking first. ”So, uh, how long is your plane delayed?” His now steady hand ghosts over the grooves in the tile. You were still battling the nerves from earlier, but thought it was an opportune time to actually apologize to Carmy ”Only like an hour. It took me over half of that to walk to the other side of the airport— Hey, listen, I just— I wanted to tell you I’m sorry—“

”No, no, I get it. I would have done the same—“ Carmy waves you off as if you could see him. ”I still feel bad“ you groan and lean your head into your hand in an almost facepalm fashion. You hate that you feel bad but you always do and you always will. It’s unavoidable. “Don’t, I didn’t when I left” he shakes his head to get rid of the memory of that day. He was trying to hold on to this tranquility the best he could and not derail again. ”Really?” You pause for a moment before asking, “Did you miss me?” Your subconscious emotions getting the better of you. ”Fuck, yeah like a lot. I wish you didn’t ditch me.” He was sincere like always and you can feel the guilt boiling in your stomach, ”Me too”.

“I think—,” Carmy pinches the bridge of his nose in thought, “Wait, uh, I know that it would’ve been better with you there”, he sighs and lets his hand fall back into his lap. ”Fuck, Carm, I miss you so much already and I haven’t even left the city yet” you try to make yourself laugh to get away from the regret that soared through your body, but you couldn’t. “I’ll come up there as soon as I can and help you unpack—“

” And, I’ll give you an apartment tour and show you my art displayed all fancy at the museum” You were already getting giddy at the prospect of the two of you being reunited. “I would love that, actually”, Carmy smiles into the phone as he imagines taking you on a personal tour of NYC.

”Great, because you still owe me a hot dog”

“You still won’t let that go, huh?”

“It was like the most perfect hot dog and you made me drop it, asshole!”

“Sorry, sorry, okay?” he laughs along with you, “I’ll get you another one. There’s this place in Hell’s Kitchen—“

”Fuck, Carm can you give me a sec?” You hate to interrupt him especially when he was in the middle of his excited prospect, but the airport attendants were making announcements and soon enough they will be calling up groups. You struggle to hear the muffled voice over the speaker and Carmy can hear you shuffle around to get a closer listen. After a few moments, you are able to piece together that the plane is on schedule and that Group A has been called to front.

“Fuck, sorry, Carm, I gotta go”

”No, I get it. Call me when you get to your new place”

”No, yeah, I will and Carmen—“ you interrupt yourself and flounder for a second. The words are heavy on your tongue. “I love you” the words roll off your tongue differently this time. They’ve always carried a hearty weight to them, but this time it felt like a confession. It sears his soul unlike anything he has ever felt before and you pay no mind to the flames raging in your ribcage.

“I love you too” it falls from his lips automatically without hesitation. He swears that his words are tinged with something else. The edges of the words flickering for something more. It holds a familiarity but he can't quite grasp it in the moment. “Carmen, get some sleep ok?” and your line goes dead.

Fuck.

#carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto fanfic #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear imagine #the bear fanfiction #carmy x you #pogueit

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carmenberzattosgf · 4 months

Note

my hand is good! I have two scars now under my middle finger on my palm but all is well!

I'm also here to ask about birthday treatment from carmy? I dontnthink he does a lot for his birthday and I personally don't do a lot so I think its either a sup casual affair or he's celebrating the fuck out of it because he's like that's my s/o and I love them and this is the day they started existing and I love that.

it is simply my birthday and i want to be spending it with fiction people but alas!

-🌂

OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have a wonderful day my dear friend <3

To answer your question though, Carmy is 100% celebrating the fuck out of you. He’s going to wake you up with breakfast in bed with your favorite breakfast foods. He’ll even buy some silly little balloons to have in the kitchen and the living room. They’re not even displayed all cute they’re just, floating on the ceiling, but he made the effort!

The whole day is all about you. If you want your nails done? Okay, sold, he’s paying for them. Hair done? Yep, he’s tagging along and covering the bill. He’s going to watch all your favorite movies and shows with you cuddled up on the couch.

If you want to have a proper birthday dinner, he’s going to make a phone call and get a table for you and all of your friends ( and him of course) at the nicest restaurant in Chicago. Carmy’s also going to make sure they do a dessert with the candles in it as well.

Although, if you don’t want a proper birthday dinner, he cooks one for you at home, anyway. Carmy’s already come up with the perfect birthday dinner menu. Literally, he’s thought of an appetizer, main course, and he’s made your favorite flavor of birthday cake. Oh, and he sings you happy birthday while you blow out your candles. To be completely honest, he films you blowing out your candles just because he wants to keep the moment forever.

Now to talk about gifts, he probably asked Sugar or Syd for help a couple of days before your birthday. While Carmy is talented in so many things, gift selecting is not one of them. He’d much rather prefer to go ahead and buy you the things you’ve mentioned wanting. There’s so much going on in that head of his, he doesn’t want to forget about things you’ve said.

I like to think that after talking with Syd and Sugar, he decides to buy you a gold necklace with his initial on it. It’s not huge or flashy. The necklace is a simple gold chain with a small round pendant attached to it. He opts to have a “C” engraved on the pendant in a dainty, cursive font.

The gift is perfect. You can’t help the tears that well up in your eyes as you look over the pendant in the velvet box. Your eyes widen when you see the 18k gold certification in the box. “Carmen—this is so gorgeous—you really didn’t have to splurge like this. I would have been happy with nothing.” At this point the tears freely flow from your eyes as you look at Carmy, who’s just smiling happily.

“It’s your birthday, baby. I love you.” There’s a break in Carmy’s sentence as he cups your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb. “You’re worth every single penny and more,” he says before leaning in to give you a small kiss.

“I love you so much, Carm. Wanna help me put it on?” He’s eager to see the necklace on you, so he stands up fast to get the box from you. Carmy stands behind you and clasps the necklace at the back of your neck.

“There we go. How’s it look?” Carmen asks before walking back in front of you. Honestly, he has to catch his breath for a second. He didn’t realize how much of an effect seeing you wear his initial would have on him, but he is a man after all.

“It’s so gorgeous, Carm.” Your face beams you stand up to look at the necklace through the mirror on the wall of the living room. “What do you think?”

Carmen walks up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and setting his head on your shoulder. “I think you’re beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, my love.”

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #the bear #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear fanfiction #carmy x you #carmen berzatto imagine #carmy x reader #carmy berzatto #carmy bear #carmen berzatto fanfiction #thoughts

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ratlesshonret · 6 months

Text

Okay so. Limbus Theory Time. But I'd be lame if I did a theory about the soon-to-release (hopefully) Canto VI, so instead I'm doing Don Quixote Theory Hours.

Okay so, let me lay out my thought process. In the latest released piece of content for the main game, "Risk Levels and Classifications" I believe it's called, Don Quixote seems to recognize the name Moses. To me, this implies that she has either met or been in proximity to Moses in the past.

Furthermore, in Canto IV, Don is basically the first person to realize Dongrang is Distorting, and says something about it before even Faust can. This says to me that she has been involved in cases of Distortion in the past, since she recognizes the signs before anyone else. Before this point, supposedly none of the Sinners have seen someone Distort. There was Papa Bongy in Canto 3.5, but the group only arrived after he had Distorted.

If Don Quixote really has been involved in a Distortion case, then it'd make sense that she either knows of, or my theory, has met Moses, the Distortion Detective.

Going even further back, to Canto III, Don beats the shit out of Sinclair when he stabs a dead inquisitor repeatedly, and says that her friends had done similar to her in the past when she had been "overtaken by fervor."

What has, to this point in the game, been the most effective method of "curing" the Distortion? What method has worked on Papa Bongy, Dongrang, and Distorted Bamboo-Hatted Kim?

Beating them up.

It is my theory that, in the past, Don Quixote has Distorted. And she was saved from her Distortion by her old friends "beating some sense" into her.

Past this point is stuff I don't really have much evidence for, but want to talk about anyway. So here's your warning that we're going from "mildly substantiated speculation" to "complete spitballing."

I think that Don Quixote has not only Distorted once in the past, but potentially multiple times. The way Don speaks about when she's been beaten by her friends says to me that it has happened multiple times before. So I don't think this Distortion is juts a one-off thing. She either has Distorted, or been on the verge of Distorting, multiple times before.

Furthermore, I want to look at exactly when Don notices Dongrang's imminent Distortion.

Don notices that Dongrang is about to Distort when he begins talking to somebody who isn't present. As we've seen in every Distortion victim and potential Distortion victim, from Philip, to Yan, to Xiao, to Vergilius, to Dongrang, they all speak with Carmen before they Distort. It's well-established at this point that Carmen is the one who causes people to Distort.

My theory is that Don has spoken with Carmen, perhaps many times, due to her past Distortion. This is why she recognized Dongrang's imminent Distortion, due to the context she knew he was speaking with Carmen. Don isn't stupid, she's been shown to be able to deduce things quite easily as long as she has the background knowledge to do so.

Not only has Don Distorted before, and not only has she spoken with Carmen in the course of it, and not only has she Distorted multiple times in the past, but I think she has some kind of "Recurring Distortion" caused by Carmen not being willing to let up on Don. And I also think that she is still at risk of Distorting, even as she rides on the bus with all of the other Sinners.

Don Quixote always acts like a hero of justice, a valiant knight who respects those who keep the peace and fights to stop injustice and villains all over the City. And yet, we know she doesn't really believe this delusion of grandeur she has. As far back as Canto II, in the scene with the mariachi gang, we've been able to see a side of Don that's much more grounded in reality. The gang even brought up the idea that Don is insincere.

I believe the reason for Don's personality is that she's constantly battling Carmen. If Carmen is really trying to get Don to Distort, she may be attacking Don's sense of justice. Something along the lines of, "You can't really help people, injustice can't be eliminated by just one person." Possibly even telling Don that if she Distorts and accepts this fact, she can do more to combat injustice than she can right now.

I don't think Don's love of justice and hatred of villains is a lie, but I do think her old-timey speak and her sheer dedication aren't sincere. The sheer amount of trouble Don causes when she sees an injustice, and her lack of ability to restrain herself, I don't think can be put up to an act. So what is it?

As I said before, I think she's battling Carmen. Whether she's trying to prove she can serve justice all on her own, without Carmen's help, or whether she's trying to delude herself so hard that Carmen can't get in anymore, I don't know. But I think her act is all an attempt to stop her "Recurring Distortion" phenomenon.

If Limbus knows about her past Distorting, there's a chance they've had her talk with the LCD. If this is true, then it's another potential avenue through which Don has learned of Moses, if Moses and Don didn't meet in Moses' Distortion Detection.

If Don is also at constant risk of Distorting, then this could be involved with the "deal" that she's made with Vergilius. It's possible he sees her deranged behavior as a warning sign of Distortion.

It's possible that Don saw an "injustice" and attempted to right it when she joined Limbus Company, and her being unable to do so caused her to Distort. The "deal" could have been that she wouldn't put herself at risk of Distorting. But this is all just wild speculation.

In short, I think Don is a constant Distortion risk. Carmen saw her emotional instability and intense desire for justice, and decided she could use that to get Don to Distort. Because she is a prime candidate for Distortion.

But there's one more thing I haven't brought up, and that's Don's "friends." The people who stopped her from fully Distorting in the past by beating sense into her. Who were these people?

I don't know. Not conclusively anyway. But I have an idea.

The Udjats.

To be transparent, I did not come up with this theory. But I think it makes at least a little sense. The Udjats, and their leader Dias, seem to be quite invested in Distortions. They would know what to do in the case of one of their own beginning to Distort. It's possible that Don joined the Udjats because she thought they were just, or through some other reason entirely. Again, I have no real evidence of this.

If Don was an Udjat at some point, or knew them in some way, then that'd be another potential route she knew Moses. Moses was once a relatively high rank in the Udjats, and continued being under Dias' thumb long afterwards, as shown by her still having to do work for Dias during the time of Distortion Detective.

All together, this is a bunch of barely-substantiated theories, but I think they make just enough sense to be put out there. "Don has Distorted in the past" is the one I'm most confident in, while, "Don was an Udjat at some point" is one I'm very much not super confident in. But I think it's food for thought.

#limbus company #don quixote limbus company #project moon

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gallaghersgal · 9 months

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hi! i'd like to ask prompt 🍽 ─ prepare the christmas dinner together with single dad!carmy x younger reader (maybe in her mid 20s idk)

thank you <33 i love your writing

michellin star on the tree || carmen berzatto

pairing: single dad carmy x younger reader

warnings: literally none. not even a swear.

a/n: this is so so cute and i love carmy sm oh my god. implying that the reader is in grad school so like early/mid twenties.

heavy snowfall and harsh winds have shrouded the city of chicago in a gentle silence. you collect the extra plates that had been for sydney, natalie, richie and the rest and with one strong arm around bella, you lift the plates back into their place in the china cabinet.

the smells from the kitchen are delightful. ham, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes with gravy, all of it is so enticing. carmen's been in the kitchen all afternoon, cooking up a storm while you and bella had played in the snow until it got too thick and too cold for you both.

now you're safe and sound inside. after you'd changed bella into dry clothes and while you showered, the snow had continued to fall harder and harder. by the time you were done, skin dewy and hair pleated into neat braids, there was a severe weather advisory in place. just like that, your turn to host christmas dinner was effectively canceled.

bella had cried at first, of course, because what's christmas to a four-year-old without family and gifts? but you'd managed to calm her down with a cup of warm cocoa and a call to sydney, who promised to come by and play as soon as the weather allowed her.

bella says your name softly, tugging at your sleeve as you search the kitchen for flashlights and batteries. "whats up kiddo?" you ask.

"'m hungry," she whines, and you chuckle in response.

you're about to tell her the food's almost done, until carmy's taking his daughter right from your arms. "you're always hungry," he says, sitting her on the counter and tickling her tummy.

"daddy!" bella shreiks, kicking her little feet in self defense. "that tickles!"

"gotta tickle all the hungry outta ya, kid," carmy tells her.

you stand there looking on at the two of them. carmen, and his little angel. he's such a good dad to bella. it warms your heart to see him like this, all giggly and warm, loving in the most pure sense of the word.

when the giggles have subsided and bella's wiggled off the counter, carmy pulls you to his side. you rest your head against his, leaning on him and looking over the assortment of food he's prepared.

"i'm sorry you did all this for nothing," you tell him.

and of course he just shakes his head, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple. "not f'nothing, baby, for you. you work so hard at school, thought the least i could do for my little phd candidate was cook this big ol' christmas dinner."

"for me?" you ask softly, a smile tugging at your lips.

"all f'you, sweetheart. you an' bella, my girls." he hugs you tighter, pulling you so that your chest is against his own. "you're so good to us both. this is my way of sayin' thank you."

end.

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto fluff #mags' winter sleepover #mags' winter sleepover: fics #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #the bear #fx the bear #❀ written by maggie [fics]

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friendofcars · 9 months

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Hello! Here is data on point of view distribution across characters in The Dreamer Trilogy (which I will abbreviate as TD3) as a follow up to my TRC data from last year (viewable here). A rather long-winded discussion of the data, methods notes, and some supplemental figures and tables are under the cut. As it was not possible to include all values and stats in this post (nor in the alt text for image IDs), my spreadsheet can be viewed by clicking here,

This project quantifies and visualizes the distribution of chapters and pages in the books of TD3 across characters from whose POVs the story is told. I didn’t have much of a hypothesis going into data collection/analysis, especially not like I did for the TRC data, but I did expect to see Ronan’s POV having the most chapters and pages for the entire series, given the fact that he is the most central of the protagonists. I don’t think page time is the be-all-end-all for a character’s importance, of course, but it is still interesting to consider how spending more time from certain perspectives affects the perceived narrative. I won’t get much into that aspect of analysis in this post, but if anybody would actually like to discuss that, I’d love to!

Results (and Interpretation):

TD3 consists of 173 chapters and 1184 pages (using the U.S. hardcover editions), making the average chapter 6.84 pages. The longest chapter is 16 pages, and the shortest is 1 page.

Figure 1A: The average chapter in Mister Impossible (MI) is considerably longer (9.26 pages) than the average chapter in Call Down the Hawk (CDTH) (6.00 pages) and in Greywaren (GW) (6.40 pages), which makes sense as MI has just 38 chapters while CDTH has 80 and GW has 55 (see Fig. 2). To me, the effect of the longer chapters (and therefore extended time with the current POV character) makes the various POVs feel more temporally distant from one another- not in a narratively incoherent way, but in a way that echoes the sense of isolation experienced by dreamers and weaponized by Bryde as he tries to convince Ronan and Hennessy to abandon their loved ones.

Figure 1B: Chapter length is fairly consistent amongst POVs across the series. Matthew has the longest average chapter length (8.40 page) over a small set of chapters (5 total)- his character development (as told from his own POV) is limited to a small number of instances, which may have stretched his chapters a bit longer. The 'Other' category has the shortest average chapter length (5.13 pages) (Fig. 1B); it includes the typically short chapters from witnesses of Visionary explosions/aftermath (Mags, Dabney) as well as Nathan's manifesto excerpts. (As a side note, I've described the chapters depicting memories from the Barns as 'Mór and Niall.' These chapters do not collectively portray an equal balance of their POVs, but this was the simplest way to categorize them.)

Figure 2A-B: These graphs are representations of chapter distribution across POVs in TD3 in terms of chapter count (2A) and proportion of total chapters (2B). Some observed trends include Declan's proportion of total chapters remaining quite constant throughout the series, Ronan's decreasing, Hennessy's proportion of chapters nearly doubling from CDTH to MI (and staying at a similar proportion to MI in GW), and Jordan's proportion following an opposite trend (consistent proportion in CDTH and MI, followed by a more than 50% drop in GW). Carmen's proportion of chapters also declines after CDTH.

Figure 2C: This graph compares total chapters per character POV over the entire series. We can see that the largest proportion of the series is told from Ronan's POV (53 chapters, or 0.306 of all chapters). To put that in perspective, Hennessy has the next highest number of chapters (26, or 0.150 of all chapters), which is just under half the number of Ronan's. If all characters had an equal number of chapters from their POV (including the miscellaneous POVs as one category labeled Other), they would each have 21.6 chapters, represented by the horizontal dashed line; Declan, Jordan, Carmen, and Hennessy all have chapter counts relatively close to this number.

Figure 2D-E: These are representations of page distribution across POVs in TD3 in terms of page count (2D) and proportion of total pages (2E). Trends are similar to those depicted in 2A-B, but 2E does make Declan's increased proportion of page time in GW salient.

Figure 2F: This graph compares total pages per character POV over the entire series. The dashed line shows that if each character (plus the Other category) had equal page time in the series, readers would spend 148 pages with each POV. Again, page data is similar to chapter data, but comparing graphs 2C and 2F gives a clear visual indicator that Jordan's chapters (on average, 8.11 pages) are longer than Carmen's (on average, 6.08 pages), since Carmen has visibly more chapters in 2C yet nearly the same number of pages as Jordan in 2F.

Figure 3: Figure 3 shows distribution of chapters (3A-B) and pages (3C-D) in CDTH, as well as average chapter length for each character POV (3E). An equal distribution of chapters would have been 13.3 per character, and an equal distribution of pages would have been 80.0 per character. The 'Other' category included chapters from the perspectives of Lock, Breck Myrtle, Shawna Wells, Jason Morgenthaler (and Lin Draper, briefly, in the same chapter), Mags Harmonhouse, and Dabney Pitts. Carmen's average chapter length in CDTH (4.67 pages) is the lowest single-book average for character POVs appearing throughout the entire series. (Nathan's average chapter length is just 1.00 [Supplemental Figure 2], yet his POV only appears in GW via his manifesto excerpts, and while I have attributed these chapters to his POV, I interpret the POV as actually ambiguous. As with Kavinsky's text in TDT, it's not absolutely certain if we are reading from the writer or the reader's perspective [although in TDT, due to the lack of Kavinsky POV elsewhere, it's probably the latter]).

Figure 4: Figure 4 shows distribution of chapters (4A-B) and pages (4C-D) in MI, as well as average chapter length for each character POV (4E). An equal distribution of chapters would have been 5.43 per character, and an equal distribution of pages would have been 50.3 per character. The 'Other' category included two chapters, both with what I deemed omniscient narration. Declan had the shortest chapters in MI (8.20 pages), and Jordan had the longest (11.4 pages, the longest average for a character for a single book in this series).

Figure 5: Figure 5 shows distribution of chapters (4A-B) and pages (4C-D) in GW, as well as average chapter length for each character POV (4E). An equal distribution of chapters would have been 6.88 per character, and an equal distribution of pages would have been 44.0 per character. The 'Other' category included Nathan's manifesto excerpts (3 chapters), 1 chapter from Liliana's POV, and 3 other chapters with omniscient narration. While Ronan never has the longest chapters, his chapters are shorter relative to other POVs in Greywaren, perhaps as a result of the way his chapters are written during his time asleep/in the sweetmetal sea. I have not yet investigated whether chapters tend to be longer while characters are awake vs asleep or dreaming, but that's something that could be measured from the existing data in the spreadsheet! There is also a dramatic drop in Jordan's POV time in GW compared to the previous two books, perhaps because of her increased divergence from Hennessy and desire to establish a life that follows her own narrative.

Other findings: A major difference I noted between TRC and TD3 was the lack of split chapters in TD3. In TRC, the data analysis was made slightly complicated by having to account for the fact that a non-negligible number of chapters would make a distinct and discrete switch between POVs partway through. While I did not observe this in TD3, I did encounter more ambiguous/nebulous POVs as I previously mentioned. The increased presence of omniscience in the trilogy, for me, contributed to the increased sense of scale and stakes compared to TRC. This increased continuity amongst POV (not amongst core/recurring POV characters, but amongst groups of characters/communities depicted in the omnisciently narrated chapters) also contributed to a sense of dissolution of barriers and identities, perhaps thematically in line with Ronan's character development and increasingly holistic perspective of both his humanity and otherworldliness (although Ronan is not necessarily featured in these 'boundary-breaking' chapters). I also briefly looked at occurrences of back-to-back chapters from the same POV; this happens most frequently for Ronan in all three books, mainly in CDTH, and sometimes featuring a dreaming chapter directly before an awake chapter (or vice versa) in immediate succession. Declan (MI), Carmen (CDTH), and Jordan (CDTH) all have a pair of back-to-back chapters at some point in the series; Hennessy has 2 (MI, GW).

Conclusions: In all honesty, despite this project being quite fun and fulfilling and of course, worth doing, I do not think I have any particularly insightful conclusions about the data beyond what I've already discussed. Ronan took up the largest share of the chapters and pages as expected, although I am not sure I expected this to be true by such a large margin. I also was surprised that Declan did not have more chapter/page time, but it is possible that his notable inclusion in chapters from other characters' POVs increases his prominence in the series (and I suppose this is probably true for all characters who frequently appear in chapters outside their perspective). As with TRC, the number of POVs expands as the series develops, often with the effect of increasing the scope of the story's implications, and perhaps, more importantly, showing the story from additional angles that contextualize and/or distort narrative established by other characters' perspectives. I hope you've enjoyed exploring the data as I have, and those interested in my methodology may continue reading below!

Methods:

Data collection was straightforward in the sense that I simply counted the pages in each chapter and then assigned each chapter to a character based on the POV represented. The POV character assignment was more difficult than it was for TRC, as TD3 has more omnisciently narrated chapters, which in itself is easy to categorize, but they often zoom in on or are 'biased' towards the experience of a particular character, so I had to make some decisions as to what, for me, constituted sufficient focus on a character’s internal narration and expression vs. omniscience. In the spreadsheet, I took notes on these more subjectively driven decisions. Again, you can view it here! It also contains data on whether the chapter is from an awake or dreaming POV, and has the first lines of each chapter, among which are some fun repeating patterns.

For bar graphs with dots, each dot represents a single chapter. You may also notice that the graphs are missing p-values from statistical tests this time around! This is because, since completing the TRC data, I’ve realized that such measures of uncertainty re: significant differences are not appropriate for my dataset, which is not a sample representing a population, but rather a complete group of chapters (so parametric tests are not necessarily helpful or valid). However, I still like to run the tests for my own amusement and to see what the results would be if this were a dataset for which ANOVA and contingency tests were appropriate, so I have standard deviation bars on the graphs where calculable (but no standard deviations in the text of the results section for legibility) as well as the p-values in tables at the end of this post for anyone also curious. I did still calculate the numbers of chapters and pages that would represent an equal distribution across POV characters, which are represented by the dashed lines on the relevant figures. I think this is helpful to visually gauge 'over-representation' and 'under-representation' of character POVs.

Below are the supplemental figures showing all character POVs rather than lumping some together in an 'other' category. The MI data in figure 4 is not expanded below because the chapters designated as 'other' were omniscient and thus would have remained in the same category.

And finally, here are the omitted p-values, if you'd like to pretend along with me that all the chapters in TD3 are not a complete set but rather a representative sample of a greater population of chapters that's out there in the universe. :) When I give a p-value below the 0.05 threshold but still write 'no significant differences amongst any combination of characters, I mean that the p-values generated for the comparisons between each possible pair of characters were all above 0.05, which are distinct from the overall p-value generated from the ANOVA.

#the dreamer trilogy #call down the hawk #mister impossible #greywaren #ronan lynch #declan lynch #jordan hennessy #carmen farooq-lane #long post #rchl #now onto more qualitative/linguistic things! xoxo

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chaiiitime · 1 year

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It Happened One Summer Night

Summary : Stranded at the airport, Adriana Montero Mundt would do pretty much anything to get to her sister’s wedding, including getting into a tiny car with Daniel Ricciardo — even if she pretty much hates him Pairing : Daniel Ricciardo x OC!Fem Word Count : 3,500

Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Chapter 1

“Are you sure? Can you check again?”

The lady behind the counter at the Barcelona airport's information desk gave her an overly patient smile, “Yes Ma’am, I’m sure. Unfortunately, the car rental agency no longer has any cars available and we don’t know when flights are going to resume. But –“ Her fingers clacked rapidly on her keyboard, “I can book you on the next available flight to Jerez. However, I cannot give you any reassurances when that would be.”

To say Adriana Montero Mundt was having a crappy day would be an understatement.

First, she’d nearly missed her flight from London to Barcelona because of a last-minute meeting with an important client. And now, her flight to Jerez had been cancelled because of a freak technology glitch in the airport’s systems which had effectively grounded all flights out of Barcelona. No one knew when flights would resume and there apparently were no cars available to rent, more or less leaving her stranded.

Which wasn’t so great considering she needed to be in her hometown of Jerez for her baby sister’s wedding in four days.

She was about to argue with the lady again when her phone began ringing. The lady looked pointedly at her phone before craning her neck to look at the long line behind her. Adriana got the message loud and clear — she needed to get out of the line.

With a sigh, she stepped aside to answer. “Hey sis!” Carmen was on the other end. “Any updates?”

Adriana slowly massaged her temples. She could feel a headache coming on. “No,” she answered, trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice. The last thing Carmen needed was any additional stress right before her wedding.

“All flights have been cancelled. No one knows when they will resume." She paced along the glass windows looking out on the tarmac. So many planes neatly lined up in their little big boxes. All of them useless because they couldn’t take her to where she needed. “It can be in an hour or a day or even more, and there’s no cars available for hire.” She stopped pacing, trying to sound hopeful for Carmen’s sake. “But don’t worry about it – I’m sure I’ll find something soon.”

“Actually, I may have a solution for you.” Carmen’s voice sounded way too bright. “You know Daniel Ricciardo, right? George’s mate?”

Nononononono. Adriana didn’t like where this was going.

“Anyway, George just mentioned he’s flying in today as well. He just got off the phone with him." Adriana winced at Carmen’s excitement bubbling over the phone. “Turns out, he was meant to take the same flight as you to Jerez but he's been a bit luckier. He’s managed to snag a rental car and –“

Nononononono.

“He’s happy to give you a ride.”

Suddenly, the headache that had been threatening since her flight landed, was beating right at the base of her skull. She could feel the band of her pencil skirt biting into her belly and her stilettos pinching her feet. She inwardly cursed at herself for taking that last-minute meeting. If she hadn’t, at least she would have had the time to change in more comfortable clothes rather than having to dash to the airport in her work clothes.

The last thing she wanted right now was to face a ten-hours plus drive with Daniel freaking Ricciardo.

DANIEL WATCHED AS Carmen’s sister tottered her way across the parking lot. There was no other way to describe it other than tottering because who the hell wore such a tight skirt and heels to travel?

He wished he hadn’t picked up George’s call. He could have been making his way out of Barcelona right now, with the windows down and some good music on. Instead, here he was — waiting for Adriana Montero Mundt.

Daniel prided himself on being friendly with everybody. That was what he was known for, right? So, when someone blanked him out, it kind of pissed him off. He’d been nothing but nice to Adriana the two times he had met her and both times, she’d been nothing but glacial towards him.

She was snooty, as his Nonna would say, and Daniel usually couldn’t care less about these kinds of people. So, it bothered him that his memory of her was so accurate — and detailed: the wavy dark hair, the vibrant green eyes and most importantly, the beauty mark à la Cindy Crawford.

It attracted the eyes to the fullness of her lips. It tempted Daniel to test out the lushness of her mouth — which was so not going to happen because him and her, they were like water and oil.

They didn’t mix.

“Hello, Daniel.” Her voice was cool and oh-so-carefully modulated. “Thank you for giving me a ride. I hope it isn’t too much trouble.”

Civil and polite. He could do that.

“No worries. We’re headed the same way.” He bent down to pick up her suitcase to put it in the boot.

“It’s ok. I can —“

“It’s alright.” Daniel cut her off as he heaved her suitcase into the boot. How much stuff did one need for a weekend? He nodded towards the passenger door. “It’s getting late. I want to get on the road as soon as possible.”

The inside of the car was stuffy from being in the sun for so long, the leather seats warm against the back of Adriana’s knees. Daniel already had the windows down in an attempt to get the warm air out. She resisted the urge to ask him to turn on the AC. After all, she didn’t want him to think she was difficult or whatever else he thought she was.

“Here.” Daniel handed her the map he had picked up from the rental agency desk. He had roughly traced out the route to Jerez with a pen. With one hand on the wheel, he set up his phone in the cup holder and slowly backed out of the parking spot.

“Google Maps say that Jerez is about ten hours away, give or take.”

He watched her out of the corner of his eyes. She was studying the map so intently as if she could come up with a faster route.

“My plan is to make it halfway to Valencia for tonight. Hopefully, we can find a place for the night there, and be back on the road early tomorrow morning. If nothing goes wrong, we’ll be in Jerez before noon.”

She pursed her lips as she folded the map and handed it back to him. “It sounds like a plan.”

Daniel hated the note of surprise in her voice. Yeah sure, he didn’t have a fancy degree like her but he wasn’t a complete idiot – he could very well come up with a plan of action without her help.

He sent up a silent prayer of help because he knew this trip was going to be a nightmare.

TWO HOURS LATER, they were finally making their way out of Barcelona and onto the motorway. Both of them — as well as Google Maps — had vastly underestimated the time it would take to drive through the city at peak hour.

It had gotten so hot in the car that Daniel had given up and rolled up the windows to turn on the AC. Adriana watched him now, his fingers beating lightly to the country song he had put on. He looked relaxed and completely at ease behind the wheel.

She had to give him credit — he was a surprisingly patient driver. Sure, he had fidgeted a lot — continuously playing with his phone, sometimes picking at the skin around his nails, or craning his neck to look at other cars while constantly muttering to himself — but, he hadn’t once lost his temper as he had navigated through the horrendous traffic. Adriana knew, if she had been the one in the driver’s seat, she most probably would have pulled her hair out in frustration.

That didn’t exactly match the image of Daniel Ricciardo she had in her mind.

Adriana didn’t particularly like Daniel, which was a bit harsh, she admitted to herself, given how she had only met him twice before now.

Carmen had always told Adriana that her worst trait was that she was a bit too quick to judge people. Was she a bit too judgemental? Sure, yeah, but it was a label she’d wear proudly when she was almost always right and when her judgmental ass was what made her a damn good lawyer. So, had she then been a bit too quick to judge Daniel?

Maybe.

She remembered very clearly the first time she had met him. It had been at Carmen’s and George’s engagement party. She remembered him walking in and feeling that instant shift in the room’s energy.

Larger than life. There was no other way to describe Daniel.

There was something magnetic about him that just pulled people in. Maybe it was the smile or maybe it was the nose — it made his face that much more interesting. It made you want to take another longer look at him, grab a sketch pad and sketch that side profile — even if you were not an artist. Adriana had been annoyed at herself for finding him attractive because one look at him, and she had him down pat.

She knew his type very well — rich, good-looking guy who thought he was god’s gift to women. He’d take you on a thrilling ride and discard you without a second thought once he was bored. And her assessment had proven correct as she had watched him flirt his way around the room, even when he had come to the party with a date.

So, by the time George had introduced them, Adriana had been distinctly cool towards him. She’d politely rebuffed all his flirting attempts. She dealt with enough big egos like his every day at work, she didn’t need to be another notch on his bedpost — or whichever other way Mr. Daniel Ricciardo kept track of his conquests.

Adriana chanced another look at him now. The afternoon light casted his face into golden shadows, the light almost bouncing off the bump on his nose. He was truly a handsome man – it was a pity he was such an asshole.

SHE NEARLY GROANED another country song came on.

God, Daniel sure liked his country music.

Adriana didn’t understand that kink he had for playing the cowboy. Carmen had once shown her a picture of him riding into the paddock on a horse in all his texasboo glory. That facial hair was — for lack of a better word — an inspired choice.

She had to admit though, no one but Daniel could have made that look palatable.

“Can we change the music?”

Daniel was surprised to hear her speak. She had barely said anything since they’d gotten on the road and Daniel had been dying over here trying not to make conversation – he didn’t take silence, comfortable or otherwise, very well.

“Sure.” He said as he handed her his phone.

Sometime during the drive, she’d pulled her hair into a messy bun at the nape of her neck and kicked off her heels — it made her look soft, almost vulnerable. The pale pink polish on her toes felt incongruous to the image of her he had in his mind. He would have thought she would have gone for a darker colour, one more evocative of her sharp edges. Daniel actually felt like a pervert for noticing her feet — like one of those weirdos who lurked on wikiFeet rating people’s feet.

He definitely was a weirdo for knowing wikiFeet existed, he thought to himself.

“Do you even listen to all these songs?” She had her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she scrolled through his playlist. There must be nearly a thousand songs, or even more, on there and most of them were artists she had never heard of before. All very underground, all very niche. All very —

“Your music choice is so pretentious.” Oops, she hadn’t exactly intended to say that out loud.

“What do you mean pretentious?!”

“Well, all your songs are from artists I’ve never heard of.” She fully turned towards him, holding his phone screen out to him. “Don’t lie and tell me you don’t go out of your way to listen to artists other people have never heard of to be —” She air-quoted, “—cool.”

“Of course, I go out of my way to look for new songs! Why does that have to be a bad thing?” He turned the blinker on to overtake a slower car in front of them. “Music is important. It feeds your soul. You need a song for every moment of your life.”

Adriana blinked up at him. She hadn’t expected such a passionate response from him.

Keeping his eyes on the road, he gestured towards her. “What’s your favourite song? Like that one song that brings you back to an important moment of your life?”

Adriana drew a blank at his question. She didn’t want to think about what it said about her and her life that she couldn’t even come up with a favourite song in that moment. God, when was the last time she had actually listened to a song? Maybe read a book? Her job consumed her every waking moment that she never really stopped working till her head hit her pillow at night.

She felt oddly exposed by his question. She hadn’t expected Daniel, of all people, to send her into a philosophical spiral about her life. She shrugged it off and pulled up his Spotify.

Oh, he was going to hate this song. She couldn’t help the smirk when she saw Daniel barely holding back the wince on his face as the song she had chosen started to play.

“What?” She asked with smug satisfaction. She’d known he would be just the type of guy to hate Coldplay, especially Paradise.

“Nothing. It’s a good song.”

Adriana had to suppress a laugh at his pained admission. “It is a good song.” She leaned back in her seat, turning her head to look outside, drumming her fingers along to the music.

It was still light out, the summer evening looking deceptively early even as the clock on the dash showed it was well after 8 p.m. She wasn’t sure how much longer it would take to reach Valencia. They’d lost so much time getting out of Barcelona and queuing up at the toll booth that she feared they would reach Valencia too late to find a respectable place for the night.

She tried to surreptitiously look at the speed Daniel was doing. Why is this guy doing the speed limit? What was the use of him being a Formula One driver if he was not going to take advantage of an empty highway and Vin-Diesel it?

She cleared her throat and tried to look as nonchalant as possible. “Do you want to switch? I can drive for a bit.”

Daniel glanced over, trying to determine why she suddenly wanted to drive. “It’s ok. I’m fine driving.” He really didn’t trust her behind the wheel, but he was not going to say that aloud.

“I’m just saying — ” she nonchalantly eased back in her seat, crossing her ankles. “We’re going to be reaching Valencia later than we originally planned anyway, and we’ll have to be on the road early next morning. That doesn’t leave you much time to rest up. So, if I drive now, you can rest a bit and will not be too tired when we get on the road early tomorrow.”

“But it’s ok though —” she shrugged. “— if you don’t want to let me drive. I just wanted to help out.”

Daniel couldn’t dispute the logic behind her reasoning. He was starting to feel a bit tired anyway, it wouldn’t be too bad if he could sit back for a bit. “Ok, fine. Let me just pull over.”

“Great!” Adriana flashed him a brilliant smile as she bent down, picking her heels and throwing them in the back.

DANIEL HAD BARELY clipped his seatbelt on that Adriana peeled away from the shoulder.

“Wowowo, Michael Schumacher, slow down!”

He definitely didn’t have her down as a speed demon.

“What?!” She threw him a defiant look. “I’m barely going over the speed limit. Anyway, you’re an F1 driver — isn’t speed kind of your thing?”

“My only thing right now is for me to make the end of this trip alive.” He was smiling as he said it, his body relaxing as he stretched his legs in front of him.

The speed definitely didn’t bother him.

Adriana settled down in the driver’s seat. It was actually nice to drive — the warm breeze in her hair, the empty highway, the Spanish flat plains stretching out on either side of the road. It was the perfect therapy to let go of stress.

“So …” Daniel was tapping his fingers along to the music. “Excited for the wedding, huh?”

Adriana resisted the urge to roll her eyes. The man had managed to stay quiet all while he was driving, but now he seemed unable to sit still.

“Sure.”

Daniel raised his eyebrows at her blunt answer. “Your enthusiasm astounds me. Tell me more,” he said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, but not all of us are Mr. Funny, Outgoing and Popular,” she irritatedly pushed back her hair. “Some of us are reserved and quiet, and that’s fine.”

“There’s a fine difference between being reserved and rude.” Daniel muttered under his breath.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.” Daniel flashed her his most media-trained smile.

He should let this thing go. He should just sit through the awkward silence. He really should not — “Have I done anything to you for you to hate me like that?”

Daniel surprised even himself with that question.

He hated conflict, so he didn’t know what possessed him to ask her this question outright. Heck, he hated confrontation so much that he even stopped to chat with Zak fucking Brown every time he saw him in the paddock, even after the man had almost ended his career.

“I don’t hate you,” Adriana swiped at the stubborn strand of hair that the wind kept blowing into her face. “I just don’t like you.”

“And why is that?” Daniel turned towards her, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Sure, you’re —“ she gestured towards him, “charming and funny and people think you’re nice. Which you are, but you’re also arrogant.”

Daniel cut her off with a sardonic huff. “Babes, I’m an F1 driver. Being arrogant is a pre-requisite. If I don’t believe I’m the best, I might as well not step in the car.”

“Oh, I’m not done!” She gripped the steering wheel even tighter. “You’re vain. You think just because you’re good-looking, you’re god’s gift to women — you expect women to just fall at your feet.”

Was he vain about his looks? Maybe, yes. He’d grown up an awkward kid — he’d been self-conscious about his nose, his hair, his crooked teeth. So, when he’d woken up one day in his twenties and realised, he’d somehow grown into his looks, had he taken advantage of women throwing themselves at him? Shoot him, any other guy in his shoes would have done the same.

He was about to give her a piece of his mind, but she was not done apparently. "On top of that, you have this need to be the centre of attention. You like to have your needs catered to, which is why you always date women much younger than you. That way, they're always eager to do what you want without you having to give them anything back in return. You can keep them in neat little boxes without having to change much about your life."

This touched a sore string with Daniel. He knew he could be selfish, he had to be if he wanted to stay in Formula One because racing was the most important thing in his life — above everything else. He was not perfect or blameless, but he worked damn hard to be a better person. So, it angered him that she could sit there and allow herself to enumerate his supposed sins.

"Don't sit there on your high horse and pretend like you don't have any flaws while you thumb your nose at everybody else. The fall from your high horse is going to hurt."

She laughed derisively, the sound brittle even to her ears.

Daniel looked thunderous, his eyebrows furrowed into angry dashes. Who was she to judge him when she’d most probably been handed everything on a silver platter in life? What did she know about the struggles, the sacrifices he had to make to get to where he was?

"Even if I am guilty of all the supposed flaws you've just listed, that doesn't justify why you hate me." He held up a hand to stop whatever she was going to say. "I have been nothing but nice to you since we met. So, I don't get this hatred you have against me."

She vaulted towards him, her eyes no longer on the road. Anger had heightened her colour, her hair coming almost undone from the bun she had put it in. "Don’t pretend like you don’t know!" Her words were sharp like darts. "I heard the comment you made about me to George at his birthday party."

Daniel looked stumped. "What comment?"

“Don’t pretend as if you don’t know!”

“No seriously, what comment?!”

They glared at each other, her eyes blazing with anger, his with suspicious defiance. Suddenly, there was a horrible grating noise. It felt like something was clawing at the floor of the car, the brakes screeching as Adriana tried to bring the car to a stop.

Fucking hell, she had run over something.

Next Chapter >>

#daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo fanfic #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #it happened one summer night

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daysofyellowroses · 7 months

Text

honey ii

carmen berzatto x afab! reader | 1.8k | continuation of this little story right here | tw: nothing really, just some serious cuteness

request was: she like asks him to go make her something strange like a bowl of ramen with maple syrup and pickles and ofc he obliges and makes it for her but he comes back and she’s like in tears and he’s like babe here are you hungry and she’s like *gag* “no I don’t know why the baby wanted that for so long now that I smell it- I just want McDonald’s I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for wasting your time” 😂😂 I imagine he’d just be like oh babe it’s fine I can get you McDonald’s that’s fine and she’s just so sad and pregnant bc she feels she bugged him ugh so cute - from my angel @thecapricunt1616 apologies this took a little while, hopefully you enjoy it! 🫶🏻💗🌼

🐻

There are many, many virtues possessed by Carmen Berzatto that make you love him unconditionally, madly and wholeheartedly.

He is the most loving, passionate, considerate, loyal, driven and talented person you have ever met, and you wouldn't change him for the world.

Almost.

Patience is a virtue, albeit not one always in the possession of Carmy. You've seen him lose patience in the restaurant, when things are not running smoothly at a particular moment. You've seen him lose patience at traffic lights, when he can't find his other shoe, when he can't wait for someone to call him, he has to call them.

Generally you can deal with the lack of patience, because Carm will apologize for losing it in the first place in the most sincere way and everyone involved moves on.

But..there came a day where you couldn't forgive so easily.

Things had been going well with Carm since you first sat up on your kitchen counter and asked him to undress you, a memory you often dwell upon. At first it was pretty casual, seeing each other occasionally for some very fun stress relief, then it turned into more. Neither of you had initiated the big conversation, it was like a silent understanding that you were both only seeing each other, and were both committed to that.

You gradually moved your stuff over to Carm's, the easiest move you'd ever had. Going across the hallway and merging your life with his was surprisingly simple. You fit together perfectly, everything seemed to be smooth sailing.

Until you hit a bump in the road.

Not the worst bump, just..an unexpected one. And, you were a little to blame, even if you weren't ready to admit it.

Thanks to things going so smoothly, it made all aspects of your lives better, including your (very healthy) sex life. Morning, noon, night, didn't matter what time or what place. You'd lost track of how many times you'd almost got caught sneaking into Carm's office. So far nobody had ever discovered your little rendezvous but you figured it was only a matter of time.

Because of your flourishing sex life, you had decided to switch birth controls to something a little more effective. But, in the brief window between stopping your old one and starting your new one, there may have been a night out.

There may have been drinking, dancing, pulling each other into cubicles.

You were sure you had asked him if he had a condom on him, like..96% sure. In your defense, you were slightly (very) inebriated and slightly (extremely) horny so maybe you filled in some gaps and heard what you wanted to hear. Carm had even less patience when he was drunk so there was no stopping him as soon as you pulled him closer.

So, a couple of days later when you were sure your hangover should have gone, you decided to bite the bullet.

The little pink plus sign that looked back up at you was so judgemental. Oh you just couldn't wait a few days? Now look at what you've done.

You weren't actually sure how you felt about it, it wasn't something that weighed on your mind. You and Carm weren't exactly at that stage yet, you'd barely even talked about marriage or kids because you were still just enjoying living together and sharing a life.

When you told him, he had a similar reaction to you, unsure how he felt. The two of you ended up sitting on the couch in silence for a few moments before one of you burst out laughing, the other joining in soon after.

You ended up laying on the couch talking about baby names, what family vacations you'd end up on, coming up with more and more ridiculous scenarios to make each other laugh while feeling more and more like it really was something you both wanted.

It wasn't easy, being pregnant. You attempted to read some books but they were either too scientific, too twee or too hippy-ish. It got easier as the months went by, as you adjusted to waking up to a slightly bigger bump every other day.

Carm loved it, you discovered. He would stand behind you when you looked in the mirror, your hands touching your bump. His hands would move over yours, his head on your shoulder. He would kiss your neck, tell you that you were glowing as his hands wandered and you would remind him how you got into the situation in the first place.

Most of the classic pregnancy things didn't really happen for you until much later, your brief window of peace interrupted. The baby started kicking, morning sickness came full throttle, and you developed very..unique cravings. Personally, you had always thought the cravings people had were being exaggerated, how could someone suddenly want pickles in ice cream or oranges with gravy when they would never dream of it before?

But then they hit you, and you were frankly a little impressed with your baby’s requests. One of the many perks of dating Carm was that he was always happy to let you be a guinea pig for his latest creations, and when you started craving some more..unique meals.

You wanted spaghetti with plums and melted chocolate in it? He made it. Didn't matter how unusual, Carm was in the kitchen before you could insist the cravings would pass.

Some were more of a hit than others, but you always appreciated his endless patience for your strange requests. Particularly when it was late at night and he'd had a long day at the restaurant.

Occasionally, you got hit with a craving in the middle of the night, choosing to ignore them or sneak off to the kitchen yourself to avoid waking Carm. A couple of times, he woke up anyway and would come shoo you out of the kitchen to finish making your latest creation.

You would have completely understood if he ended up losing patience with your more frequent late night kitchen trips, but he never batted an eyelid.

Then, one night, you fully expected him to just snap, because you knew you would have in his shoes.

It had been a bad one at the restaurant, you got at least 3 different messages giving you a heads up that Carm wasn't in the best of moods. He would never take it out on you, but you usually gave him a little space to breathe on those nights, he would inevitably come to you after his shower, crawl into bed or onto the couch next to you and hold you close, tell you how much he loved you.

So, when you heard the front door open you kept your attention on the TV, listening as Carm took his jacket off and walked down the hall to the bathroom. The shower started a few minutes later and you let out a breath. Glancing down as you felt a pang in your stomach, you smiled to yourself as you placed your hand over your bump.

“So you can sense him hm?” You murmured softly, looking back to the TV. “Well it's just you and me right now kid. So what are we feeling?”

And so you ended up in the kitchen, looking through the cabinets to find what you were craving.

“I know, I know,” You placed your hand on your stomach as you felt a kick. “You need to be more patient, I'm not the chef here.”

“True,”

You looked over your shoulder, smiling as you spotted Carm leaning in the doorway.

“I got this, if you want to relax,” You smiled. “Won't be long.”

“Nah nah, it's alright,” Carm smiled tiredly, walking over to you and dropping a kiss to your shoulder. “What’s on the menu today?”

“Hm..just a ramen bowl,” You shrugged, leaning back against Carm as he wrapped his arms around your waist and settled his hands on your bump.

“With?”

“Maple syrup,” You admitted, glancing over your shoulder with a raised brow. “And pickles. This kid is doing a number on my insides already.”

“Sounds good, I got it,” Carm nodded, kissing your cheek. “Go relax, I'll take it to you.”

You didn't object, heading back to the living room and getting comfortable on the couch. At some point you went to lay down and ended up falling asleep, being woken up by a gentle touch and a smell that had your stomach lurching.

“Sorry, didn't mean to do that,” You murmured softly, opening your eyes and sitting up slowly. “I just..”

Your eyes fell on the coffee table, where a perfectly prepared ramen/maple syrup/pickle bowl was sitting.

“Oh..”

“Can't wait to get the feedback on this one,” Carm smiled, sitting down beside you and reaching for the bowl. “It's definitely a first for me.”

“Yeah,” You nodded, accepting the bowl and taking a deep breath. It looked amazing, but the smell had you wanting to throw up. “It's uh..” You held your other hand over your mouth as you felt the need to be sick, gagging a little.

“Sorry, I just..”

“Here,” Carm carefully took the bowl and set it back on the coffee table, his other hand moving to your back.

“I'm so sorry,” You sighed, moving your hand to your forehead as you felt tears bubbling up. The smallest thing now had you wailing hysterically, and you tried to stop the flood before it happened. “It looks so good but I just..”

“Hey, don't apologize,” Carm smiled, gently rubbing your back. “It's not the end of the world. I can make you something else.”

“Well that's the thing,” You groaned, closing your eyes as the tears started flowing. “I know you can but I don't want you to, I want..”

You felt a little ridiculous for crying so much but that didn't stop the tears.

“I just really want a McDonald's.”

Carm was quiet for a moment before he burst out laughing, his head dropping to your shoulder.

“It's not funny!” You protested, wiping away the latest tears. “You just had a really stressful day at work then you come home and I have you cooking some more nonsense for me that I can't even eat and now I ask you to go get me a fucking cheap burger!”

“Fuck I love you,” Carm laughed softly, kissing your cheek and getting up from the couch. “I'll get you as many burgers as you want, just promise me one little thing?”

“Of course,” You nodded, looking over to him as you wiped away more tears. “Anything.”

“Tell me you don't have a secret group chat about me?”

You couldn't help but laugh at that, the concerned look on Carm's face going straight to your heart.

“No,” You shook your head, smiling. “I definitely do not.”

“Good,” Carm nodded, lightly rubbing his jaw before turning to leave. “Okay, I'll be back.”

“Wait,” You stood up, walking over and taking Carm's hand, smiling as he turned back to you. “I forgot to say, get something for yourself too. And then double it so I can't steal it.”

“Deal,” Carm nodded with a smile, your heart swelling in your chest. “Just maybe no pickles.”

#the bear #the bear 🐻#the bear fic #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #ask

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