#cam has ocd

[aplpaca]

thinking about how I've seen OCD get talked about now, but haven't really seen many posts that actually explain what it is. And like, obviously people shouldn't get all their info about mental conditions from posts, but u can't deny that internet communities and stuff play a major role in people recognizing and putting names to their own experiences.

But like since the general public has like absolutely no idea of what OCD actually is (no thanks to popular media), and a lot of things I see talking about intrusive thoughts don't mention OCD (either bc they originated in OCD circles or bc intrusive thoughts aren't Exclusive to OCD or for some other reason), there should prob be more explanation put out on what OCD actually consists of.

Which is kinda hard in some ways, bc there are so many ways OCD can present in terms of what "themes" a person experiences, so someone talking about what their themes are might not ring a bell with someone who experiences different ones. But like, the core thing with OCD isn't the presence of certain themes, it's a specific pattern of spiraling thoughts and reactions.

Like. OCD is a mental condition/illness where people experience stressful, unwanted, repetitive thoughts. These are intrusive thoughts are what make up the "obsessions" part of the disorder. In response to these intrusive thoughts, a lot of people will perform certain actions or think certain things in an attempt to neutralize or disprove the threat they represent. These are the "compulsions" part of the condition.

For a more "traditional" example, someone experiencing intrusive thoughts that they might catch a communicable disease may obsessively wash their hands or google their symptoms to try to lessen the anxiety. While someone who is worried they might hurt someone (even though they very much do not want to hurt someone) may avoid being near sharp objects or may avoid the people they're afraid of hurting.

One of the issues with OCD is that performing the compulsions provides short term relief, but in the long term it only strengthens the stress caused by the intrusive thoughts, thus furthering the thought spiral and actively making it worse, to the point where, depending on your themes, you may be (almost) convinced that your intrusive thoughts represent the truth or the inevitable or something permanent.

Intrusive thought themes cam be literally anything, but some of the common ones are stuff like

Questioning your sexuality, gender, etc (what if I'm actually straight/gay/bi/trans/cis/etc?)

Being worried about losing control and hurting yourself or others physically, sexually, emotionally, basically any way (what if I want to kill someone? What if I'm a pedophile? What if I'm an abuser? What if I want to stab myself? Etc)

Fear of becoming or being sick

Worrying something bad will happen to you or people you care about

Worrying about your spiritual beliefs or lack thereof (what if I'm actually Christian? What if I'm actually atheist? What if i don't believe in the faith i ascribe to? Etc)

Worrying about relationship status (what if I don't actually love them? What if they're not "the one"? What if they're cheating? What if *I'm* cheating? Etc)

What if I'm a bad person?

Fear of losing things

Fear of things not feeling right (this is often be related to other themes via magical thinking. ex: if I don't have my things organized Just Right then something bad will happen)

Fear of unreality

Compulsions vary by theme a lot obviously, but some common ones include

Hand washing

Organizing things until they Feel Right

Checking and double checking and triple checking to make sure you did something correctly

Obsessively reviewing your memories to disprove a thoughtor make sure you don't believe something

Arguing against the thoughts in an attempt to disprove them

Testing your mental reactions to a thought or to certain kinds of content, to show yourself you don't actually believe or feel something

Obsessively googling symptoms, testimonies, things related to your thoughts

Obsessive prayer

Repeating phrases, mantras, affirmations, etc in an attempt to make thoughts go away

Avoiding things and situations that set off your intrusive thoughts

Repeatedly asking for reassurance from others ("I'm not being xyz, right?")

But yeah this obviously isn't exhaustive but, just, if this kind of thing sounds familiar, you should probably do some research on OCD, bc while intrusive thoughts can occur with other conditions, the intrusive thought-compulsion spiral is the core of OCD and isn't really a subaspect of depression/anxiety/ptsd/etc. and the treatment and management of OCD can look different from other stuff, so its a good thing to look into.

(Also it's important to keep in mind, esp if you're someone that doesn't have it, that someone's intrusive thoughts Are Not "secret desires" or "repressed urges" or anything the person even remotely wants to act on. Someone having harm-related intrusive thoughts is not at risk of actually acting on them, no matter how worried they are of doing so.)

Anyway this was a long post and I don't have a neat way to wrap it up and also I accidentally added a poll and now can't get rid of it so here's free poll. I'm running on nyquil and a small amount of straight gin (which works very well at numbing a sore throat) rn gnite

[buddierecs]

infidelity buddie fics

this list has different rated fics, so please look at the rating make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :) (also i don't condone cheating/infidelity, but i am eating these fics up oops.)

three strikes and you're out by: eightpackdiaz "buck's soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend chooses to ignore him every time the kiss cam points in their direction. eddie does the opposite" word count: 3.1k rating: teen and up important tags: cheating, tommy kinard bashing, kiss cam, jealous!eddie diaz, first kiss, getting together i slept with someone from 118 and all i got was a broken nose (eddie diaz can't relate) by: sterrenhemel ".....still, he punches tommy square in the fucking nose." word count: 4.4k rating: general audience important tags: non-graphic violence, cheating, protective!eddie diaz, tommy kinard bashing, chronic pain, getting together, first kiss counting pulses by: tinydancerr "eddie diaz’s life is going great. he’s in therapy, he’s got a great girlfriend, a great kid, his friend is getting married to the woman of his dreams, and his best friend just came out to him. now his best friend is dating their new friend. things are going great. he promises." word count: 63k rating: teen and up important tags: eddie diaz centric, catholic guilt, ocd, co-parenting, emotional infidelity, therapy, slow burn, jealous!eddie diaz something touched me (like a knife-blade) by: kithmet "eddie self-implodes. christopher, seeking refuge, flees to buck—whose priorities amount to, in varying order: take in the kid, get eddie to talk to him, and keep the three of them afloat in the process. (oh, and tommy’s there too. he thinks.)" word count: 42k rating: explicit important tags: co-parenting, emotional infidelity, possessive behaviour, sexuality crisis, mutual pining, getting together, anal sex, masturbation what if i can't have us by: woodchoc_magnum "in which eddie is dating marisol; buck's dating tommy, and eddie has feelings about that, which he simply does. not. understand." word count: 47k rating: explicit important tags: emotional infidelity, mutual pining, catholic guilt, getting together, team as family, eventual smut oopsie daisy (never knew that was your boo, baby) by: ameliahart "five times Buck cheats on Tommy with Eddie, and one time he doesn't." word count: 5.4k rating: explicit important tags: 5+1 things, cheating, sneaking around, sexting, blow jobs, anal sex, getting together mixed messages by: coldbam "eddie accidentally receives a text meant for buck's boyfriend." word count: 2.6k rating: explicit important tags: cheating, phone sex, sexting, getting together, love confessions how could you not know (all this time) by: deadsapphicssociety "in which the 118 holds a movie night for chris's school, buck's boyfriend is a flaky loser, bobby knows too much, and eddie suffers. greatly." word count: 5.7k rating: mature important tags: cheating, pining, making out, hand holding, frottage, tommy kinard bashing nothing wrong with me loving you by: cranberrymoons "buck and eddie watch red white and royal blue together; one thing leads to another (aka: the sexting fic)" word count: 4.4k rating: explicit important tags: cheating, sexing, dick pics, masturbation, praise kink, dirty talk, dom/sub undertones no place like by: clytemnestra "buck and eddie and the many paths home." word count: 51k rating: explicit important tags: cheating, angst, hurt/comfort, mental health issues, getting together, love confessions drink up (you're wasted on me) by: okanus "eddie and buck hook up at the bachelor party. difficulties ensue." word count: 9.5k rating: explicit important tags: cheating, flirting, sexual tension, drunk sex, hand jobs, possessive!eddie diaz, jealous!eddie diaz, praise kink mask over my eyes and arrow through the heart by: youbetsya "buck is getting married. he is." word count: 35k rating: explicit important tags: emotional infidelity, angst, idiots in love, coming out, jealous!eddie diaz, hand jobs, blow jobs, come eating

[thebearme]

OH WAIT MY DUMBASS FORGOT TO ALSO ASK BTW IF YOU HAVE ANY HEADCANONS ON CAMERON OR GWEN

Imma just gonna start with Cam first, and let me just tell you Cameron I projected the most on because even after my "ihatehim no ilovehim" phase so idk maybe some of this could be out of character srry.

I imagine Cameron is south African, particularly Zimbabwean.

His a walking nerd emoji.

The only pass time Cam had was to draw bugs. So he's REALLY GOOD at drawing bugs. Only bugs. Everything else looks like it's from the diary of a wimpy kid.

Cam not that keen of physical touch but slowly getting used to it cuz of Mike. Mike also trying to remember that everyone is open on surprise hugs.

Idk why but with Zoey and Cam's relationship I just think of Carly and Freddie but without the crush.

Gwen and Cam would have art trades together.

Cam got the dryess hands in existence because of the amount of hand sanitizer he uses. OCD GAND RISE UP!

Im saying this now but Cam and B would TOTALLY VIBE TOGETHER!! i just don't know their intentions are yet so dont ask..

Lightning and Cam would have hangout if not for the cheating thing.

Duncan once asked Cam if he can draw a mural of his pet spider Scruffy.

Sam would take it as his personal duty to teach Cam in the way of being a gamer. By teaching him the Zelda timeline and the lore of FNAF. May god rest Cam soul after that.

Cam doesn't not do well with the more active people in Mike's system like Svetlana and Manitoba. They try to be gentle with him but they just don't know their strengths and Manitoba canonically eats dirt so there's only so much they can hangout.

Vito doesn't vibe with nerds but he does occasional try to back him up if he's getting bullied. ONLY if Vito himself isn't bullying Cam.

Cameron actually has the best relationship with Chester. He loves hearing history and old facts and Chester loves the excuse to chat someone's ears off.

Mal and Cam have more of a neutral relationship with each other but I can definitely see Mal thinking his just some weakling nerd until Cam shows him he knows how to make the Demon core.

Cam and Mike started a hate Scott club. Although Cam feels alil bad about, he tends to be reminded of why they started this club every time they go back to their cabin.

Cam once witnessed Scott use the bathroom without washing his hands. And never liked him since.

There was one time between season, Mike, Cam and Zoey were going on a little road trip. Z & M both ask what song should they play next? Cam said he doesn't know any songs so maybe just play the Ice cream truck theme. And that's when they find out HOW sheltered this boy is.

I would get into the nitty gritty but Cam's mom is NOT a good mom. Zoey and Mike have beef with her (Zoey trys to have the benefit of the doubt and said she just too over protective while Mike legit DONT like her.)

They both make sure that Cam gets as much outside time as possible and learn to have a life outside of his house.

When Cam goes to college is going aboard as an entomologist.

When Cameron first came on TD he didn't know what to wear because obviously he's never been outside so it a mixture of hot and cold clothes. Bro don't know fashion but it's his outfit changes in All Stars.

He's wearing a puffer jacket because it reminds him of a sleeping bag and makes him cozy + it has a cooling system inside thanks to B.

[out-of-the-forest-i-come]

queer books coming out this week (July 1-7)

Earth to Alis, by Lex Carlow. contemporary romance coming out July 1st

"Alistair Woodson is a loner by choice. Since the traumatic night that ended his only friendship, he’s isolated himself by letting his classmates believe he’s a criminal and an arsonist, best to be avoided at all costs.

But on his graduation trip across Paris, Switzerland, and Italy, Alis discovers that isolation isn’t so easy to maintain in hostel rooms and cross-country trains. Soon he finds himself growing closer to classmates who were once strangers to him—namely the class clown, Craig Miltenberg, whose frustratingly good hair and cheerful disposition don’t irritate Alis nearly as much as they should.

Yet, as his deepening connections stir up painful reminders of his last doomed friendship, Alis continues to cope the only way he knows how: drowning out the pain on the inside by hurting himself on the outside. When his self-destructive behaviours intensify and put him and his new relationships in jeopardy, Alis must find the courage to confront his spiralling mental health—even if it means letting someone in."

You Had Me at Happy Hour, by Timothy Janovsky. contemporary romance coming out July 1st

"O’ little town of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania—it may be charming, but Julien Boire can’t wait to get out of there. Soon he’ll be leaving to take an advanced wine course that will put him on track to become a master sommelier. Meantime, his OCD demands he keep clear of distractions, especially the hot new hire at his aunt and uncle’s restaurant, Martin’s Place.

Which should be easy, because Greg Harlow is as ill-suited to Julien as a bold cabernet is to a delicate salmon entrée. As charismatic and confident as Julien is tightly wound, Greg is a TikTok mixologist who could charm a paper bag. One thing they do have in common: neither wants a relationship.

Greg’s history with dating is…complicated. Yet working together isn’t. First, they’re teaming up to launch a series of happy hour events at Martin’s Place. Then they’re agreeing to a no-strings sex pact that involves new worlds of experimentation. Nothing is off-limits. Except a future.

It’s exactly how Julien wants it. Except for the little part of him that wonders if maybe he’s about to lose the kind of happy that could last much longer than an hour…"

Hiding Him, by Adam Hattan. contemporary romance coming out July 2nd

"Let's get one thing straight: Cameron Hawkins isn't. What he is, is hopelessly single and longing to escape his village in the arse-end-of-nowhere. That is until a newcomer arrives: Finn. He's tall, dark, obscenely handsome and somewhat of an enigma...

Is Finn the answer to Cam's happily ever after? Or will shadows of the past stand in the way of their palpable chemistry?"

Misrecognition, by Madison Newbound. literary fiction coming out July 2nd

"Elsa is struggling. Her formative, exhilarating relationship—with a couple—has abruptly ended, leaving her depressed and directionless in her childhood bedroom. The man and the woman were her bosses, lovers, and cultural guideposts. In the relationship’s wake, Elsa scrolls aimlessly through the internet in search of meaning.

Faithfully, her screen provides a new obsession: a charismatic young actor whose latest feature is a gay love story that illuminates Elsa’s crisis. And then, as if she had conjured him, Elsa sees the actor in the flesh; he and an entourage of actors, writers, and directors have descended upon her hometown for the annual theater festival. When she is hired as a hostess at the one upscale restaurant in town, Elsa finds herself in frequent contact with the actor and his collaborators. But her obsession shifts from the actor to his frequent dinner companion—an alluring, androgynous person called Sam. As this confusing connection develops, Elsa is forced to grapple with her sexuality, the uncomfortable truths about the dramatic end of her last relationship, and the patterns that may be playing out once again."

Cash Delgado Is Living the Dream, by Tehlor Kay Mejia. contemporary romance coming out July 2nd

"Cash Delgado has a good life in the quaint town of Ridley Falls. She has Joyce’s Bar, where she manages a familiar group of regulars and emcees the ever-popular Karaoke Thursday. She has her six-year-old daughter, Parker, whose spunky attitude always keeps life interesting. And she has her best friend, Inez O’Conner, who improves Cash’s sometimes overly responsible outlook with one full of joy and potential.

But change is on the horizon when Chase Stanton, the former bar manager at Joyce’s (not to mention Cash’s last hookup), returns to town with business prospects that could threaten the local institution and all of Cash’s plans to someday bring new life to the place. And if that isn’t enough, Cash starts having very intimate dreams of Inez. Dreams that could threaten the foundation of her well-ordered life.

As Cash embarks on a reluctant journey of self-discovery, she’s forced to confront all the ways she’s been hiding in her own life. But will she choose to remain the same, or will the desire for love (even a love that looks different than she ever imagined) prove worth the risk?"

A Darker Mischief, by Derek Milman, horror and mysery, dark academia novel coming out July 2nd

"When Cal Ware wins a scholarship to an elite New England boarding school, he's thrilled to leave his past behind. Back home in Mississippi, he was the poor, queer kid who never fit in. But at Essex Academy, he'll be able to reinvent himself. Or so he hopes...

But at Essex, Cal's classmates only see his cheap clothes and old iPhone. They mock his accent, and can't believe he's never left the country, or heard of The Hamptons. Cal, at his breaking point, is about to give up and return to Mississippi when he learns about a secret society on campus -- the key to becoming Essex royalty.

Cal knows he's not exactly secret society material, but to his surprise, he finds an unlikely champion in the handsome, charismatic, and slightly dangerous Luke Kim. As they get swept up in the mystery and glamour of the Rush process, Cal finds himself falling in love for the first time.

But as the initiation rituals grow riskier -- and increasingly nefarious -- Cal must decide how far he's willing to go, and how much of himself he's willing to sacrifice, to save everything and everyone he cherishes most. Because nothing at Essex -- not even Cal's first love -- is quite what it seems."

Lover Birds, by Leanne Egan. contemporary romance coming out July 4th

"When Isabel Williams moves to Liverpool, she criticises seemingly everything in Eloise Byrne’s life – her city, her accent, her trademark boldness – so if, when she catches Isabel staring, Eloise feels her pulse race, it must be because they hate each other. It surely couldn’t be for any other reason, could it? Eloise needs to get her ADHD under control in time for A-Levels, but when she meets Isabel, school becomes the least of her concerns. What begins as outright contempt turns into an oddly satisfactory rivalry, but for their rivalry to shift further into romance, their relationship must withstand Isabel's classism, Eloise’s distrust, and whatever secrets their friends are hiding from them."

[vacantgodling]

#7: Cameron Bliss

Never first; it’s a fact of life that you are intimately familiar with. Never first in line, never first choice, never highly sought. But the world needs its supporting characters; and so you do what you do best. You lift others up even to the detriment of yourself, you worry out the tiny details to keep the ship in motion, you would set fire to yourself to keep others warm, never asking for anything in return. Yet, despite telling yourself you will be content with that; you want. You want fiercely to be seen, to be acknowledged, for your hard work to earn something other than a passing nod. You crush that desire. What you have has to be enough. It has to.

“cameron” means crooked nose. “bliss” means happiness or joy.

34, cis woman (she/her), romance: yes, sex: yes, preference: none, she likes everything

standing at 5’0” even, cameron is the definition of size being an advantage to a certain kind of person; being low to the ground helped her significantly with her scout training though it makes reaching all of the high shelves that madja loves to put important documents and resources on extremely annoying. she has carrot orange hair that is cut around her chin, but she has two rat tails that she tends to keep braided down that reach her lower back, and tawny brown skin, a few scars littered across her shoulders and knees from hiding in underbrush. she has a birthmark on her lower back. she also has dimples and her eyes are a burnt orange color.

SCOUT, trained at pinella’s pass survivalist school. cameron’s weapon of choice is throwing knives. instead of carrying multiple on her person, she was actually gifted a telus weapon (magic) by her father before she left for school: a fishing knife called seapius. it’s ability is to multiply several times over and thus cameron uses them as her throwing knives, learning how to balance the throw  since she’s become a guildhand and the (unfortunate) personal lackey and errand runner for madja, she hasn’t had time to brush up on her skills, but she ended up joining this guild to follow after her upperclassman from pinella’s pass, jihi, whom she’s always had a bit of a crush on. due to her small size she’s very resourceful and crafty and tends to go for quick kills and disrtractions versus taking the brunt of an attack on her own—though this will change as the story progresses.

cameron is an anxious person. not in the shy kind of way that causes social blunders, but more along the lines of “constantly at the end of her rope and two seconds away from killing everyone in this room and herself because she has so much shit to deal with” kind of person. in our world she would perhaps be diagnosed with a mild form of ocd; she is pragmatic but she has her rituals to make sure that things go well in her life. tugging on her ear 6 times when she’s worried about something, or double and triple and quadruple checking everything that she does to make sure that things are correct. but, it is to be noted that a lot of these habits didn’t begin until she joined the AGoE and was appointed by madja to be her right hand man—which, in this case, really means that cameron is the main one running the guild. madja has very little interest in doing so and pawns off most of the nitty gritty responsibilities to cameron; and while cam is responsible, it also causes her to stress so much that she’s graying early. her best friend’s miona and felicity who work at the guild with her constantly try to get her to take a break or time off, but both of them are also acutely aware that if cameron wasn’t at the guild making sure everything was going smoothly this whole ship would fall apart. she cries herself to sleep from stress most nights;; but other that all of that; cameron is a very hard working (obviously) and pragmatic person. she’s a great strategist, and knows how to use any and everyone to her advantage in dire straits, which comes in handy as things get worse and worse as the story goes on; people begin to look to cameron for her leadership. she takes pride in everything she does and tries to pretend that the deep seated resentment for madja doesn’t have any legs to stand on. tries. 

in terms of notable relationships, felicity and cameron are childhood friends, as they both grew up in the seaside village of Kost. felicity has always been a fan of the ocean, and they met when she saved cameron from drowning. despite cameron being terrified of the ocean since this incident they've been besties since. miona and cameron became besties when they both came to pinella's pass. she would die for those two girls and the same for them to her.

[ranger-ribbons]

Ollie Akana Headcanons:

(Warning: mentions spoilers, mentions abuse, mentions sexual assault)

1.) Despite his vehement denial of all things ghosts and spirit like, Ollie likes supernatural shows like Supernatural (he stopped watching after season 5 or 6, whenever the Leviathans came) and Stranger Things

2.) Ollie had nightmares for weeks about being turned evil by the Void King and Void Queen, then working as a double agent for Zedd. His s/o reassures him for hours after these nightmares.

3.) Ollie wasn't evil during his time with Zedd. He was a double agent working around the clock to help his friends in any sort of way he could

4.) Ollie's father was a piece of shit and abused him and his mom. Ollie was six when his father died, via falling down the stairs. Ollie doesn't regret it. Ollie also doesn't miss him.

5.) Ollie is protective of his mother to the point that he checks on her three times a day outside of normal texting

6.) Ollie is the youngest of the Rangers, not Izzy. He's 16 at the start of Dino Fury. He skipped a few grades, currently he's registered for online college classes. There's also a reason that Solon and the other Rangers call him Boy Genius/Baby Genius

7.) Ollie's heroes include: his mother, Billy Cranston, Rose Ortiz, Riley Griffin, Nate Silva, Hayley Ziktor, Andros, Jen Scotts, Taylor Earhardt, and Cam Watanabe

8.) There was a point in his life when Ollie very much wanted to be a pirate

9.) Ollie's been in karate since he was a kid, fencing since he was 14

10.) Billy offers Ollie an internship at Cranston Tech when Ollie graduates college. Ollie happily accepts.

11.) Ollie is well aware of other dimensions and would LOVE to go visit them if given the chance

12.) Ollie can speak and understand multiple languages due to his travels with his mother. The only ones he'd say he's fluent to mastery in are English, Japanese, and Hawaiian

13.) Ollie was bullied in school and people did tend to stay away because he was young, not just because of his attitude regarding group projects

14.) Ollie was sexually assaulted as a kid, around age 12 to 13. His mother won a million dollar lawsuit off the situation in order to take down the school, that teacher, and the board of education members that allowed it. She refused to let Ollie testify because he burst into tears at the thought and she refused to out him under more duress

15.) Ollie has ptsd, anxiety, and a minor form of OCD

16.) Ollie's OCD contributes a lot to his attitude regarding group projects, not just his pride

17.) Ollie is bisexual, leaning more towards girls, and polygamous

18.) Ollie writes poetry to cope with his trauma and his feelings

[cynopter]

Orange Peels on Fire: aka Townsend lore

because someone asked: here's a big dump of stuff about the story Townsend is from, i.e. the narrator of Choker!

Major TW for suicide/hanging, and obviously OCD.

Also, heads up that it's a really silly, REALLY emo story about ghost hunting lol.

Townsend is the deuteragonist of a (really extremely unfinished) story I had, that was provisionally called Orange Peels on Fire (opof). I started working on it when I was watching a lot of Demon Slayer, and it was basically my attempt to create a cast of shounen anime characters who were all girls but look exactly like the typical shounen anime protagonists. (I mention Demon Slayer because I took a LOT of inspiration from that - at times I described it to people as a shitty lesbian Vietnamese Demon Slayer knockoff... wow it's like it was made for me!!!)

A lot of lore is super wishy-washy because I did like the OG concept art in 2021, then I just kinda fucked around until 2022 when I revamped it for a screenwriting class. I don't really consider either version more canon, but I did a lot more work on the screenwriting version so I'll just describe that :P

Setting

It's set in post-apocalyptic US (either Virginia or like California but I couldn't commit because I've never seen California). A lot of the human population is gone - old civilization is being reclaimed by nature and the surplus oxygen means that there are also giant bugs now who take a lot of the niches previously held by mammals (like mice, dogs, deer etc). The oxygen is also how I campily explain away people being able to do epic anime jumps and stuff lmao. This, plus global warming, also means that the middle of North America now has a sort of tropical climate.

The part that actually matters is everyone in the US lives in tiny villages created out of suburban neighborhoods, and they're constantly having Ghost and Monster Problems of some nature because society has forgotten how to properly bury the dead --- and also because that apocalyptic event 100-or-so years ago caused so many ghosts to be created.

Phượng Lê

The protagonist is Phượng Lê, an 18 year old girl who can see ghosts. She's a triplet, with a living brother (Thanh) and a stillborn sister (the titular Cam / "Orange") who she's always seen as just a normal sister because she's a ghost that lives with them.

(All three of these characters are from a depressing realistic fiction short story I wrote, which I personally consider to be their "true" versions, but I imported them into this because I thought it'd be stupid and funny to turn a story like that into a shounen anime lol)

This is what Phượng looks like! (modern on left, old on right)

She's struggled with depression her whole life, partially because everyone thinks she's a sad and delusional pyromaniac for acting like she has a living sister (whose bones she keeps in a box) and for burning stuff to send it to her. Because of that she puts a LOT of stock in Cam's happiness because keeping Cam's ghost kind of cost her everything (including her parents abandoning them etc).

Cam's remains get stolen one day and long story short, Phượng and Thanh end up traveling around the country trying to solve ghost problems, scooby-doo style, in pursuit of the person who stole them. There's like a different category of ghost every time, based on Vietnamese folklore. (And if you're wondering, Cam's bones are valuable because stillborn baby remains can be used for evil magic, which is of course what the evil people in this story want to do).

That finally brings us to...

Townsend! (aka May Hoàng)

Townsend has pretty different lore between 2021 and 2022, but again I'm going with the latter because I've spent more time on that.

In the story:

She's a self-proclaimed "evil ghost" who haunts a tree at the edge of town. Phuong comes to her to ask if she's seen Cam; Townsend is surprised to meet a human who's friendly to ghosts.

She lightly antagonizes P & Th (in what is later revealed to be an attempted suicide-by-cop type thing) and runs away from them a few times before finally deciding to join their team. (In some versions she has to pretend to be human to deceive Irene, the secretly evil lady helping P & Th out).

Originally I had her birth name as Townsend - in the most recent iteration, this is a nickname Phượng gives her through this miscommunication:

She's the only member of the team who can actually, you know, touch ghosts? (Except when Phuong goes all danny phantom on their asses but I don't need to get into that).

Despite this, and despite the fact that she constantly threatens to kill people*, she basically bursts into tears at the thought of enacting violence on people/ghosts, so she ends up just serving as their strategist **(as the only one who isn't kind of dumb lol).

* Her catch phrase is basically "Don't touch me, i'll kill you." This is really emo lol, but what you find out eventually is this is actually a warning and not a threat.

**Specifically, because Thanh is the only one with absolutely no ghost powers, he has to use weapons made by Phuong, and because Phuong is like the main character, Townsend and Thanh have to work together to strategize & fight in the background. That's a whole arc because Townsend is a coward who doesn't want to be in fights, and Thanh doesn't trust Townsend because she constantly threatens to kill him and Phuong. Fair, I guess.

Townsend's backstory:

She's supposed to be this fundamentally irrational character, who eventually becomes a love interest of Phượng (they're both lesbians) but still never brings herself to stop antagonizing her whenever they get too close. After months and months of working together, Phượng finally gets Townsend's backstory:

She was originally a 17-year-old girl named May Hoàng, who lived in a town next to Phượng's. She suffered from something that we would in modern times describe as OCD, but had since been forgotten by society because of the apocalypse (rip). Her family was Catholic, and they didn't think much of her earlier obsessions (except that she was being annoying), but when she confided in them about her newest obsession about dropping and strangling her baby brother, Meri, they confided in the church - and eventually all the townsfolk came to believe she was being influenced by the devil.

May's parents kept trying to work with her, but eventually she ran away to hang herself.* In some versions, instead of going through with that, she conveniently gets attacked by a hangman ghost (which is how I really loosely translated ma thần vòng) right before that, who strangles her and she still dies. Fun!

*This is what's described in the beginning of Choker. In the original version, she runs away on the back of a giant-giant american millipede, as depicted on the cover, and that becomes kind of a faithful steed that they can all ride around on later.

Either way, what she didn't realize (I guess because she's Catholic) is that if you hang yourself and nobody finds your body, you turn into a hangman ghost, and can only pass on if you strangle a living person to take your place.

So..... obviously that's not going to happen.

Phượng & Townsend

May died about a year before the story starts. She was kind of hoping Phượng could just exorcize her, but because it takes about 3 seconds to realize May isn't actually a threat, Phượng refuses to do that.

Instead they kind of fall in love (shipname Phuongsend if you're wondering lol), and they eventually figure out she's just mentally ill and reinvent ERT or something.

Meanwhile, because of both Cam and May, the whole team is looking for a way to turn ghosts back into living people. I never decided if they actually succeed, but honestly I don't think they ever will. May committed suicide and that's just not something you can undo.

As foils

They both care a lot about each other, but that's despite (or maybe because of?) some very conflicting values. There's a little undercurrent of each trying to change the other's morals.

Phượng's mother abandoned her and Thanh because of her obsession with her sister, Cam, who was stillborn and never even got a chance at life. She's only leaving home now to find that sister and maybe even bring her back to life.

From Phượng's perspective, May HAD a shot at life, and somehow thinks she has the right to get it back even after squandering it. May also loves her baby sibling to death, but her idea of protecting him was to run away forever --- and to Phuong, that's just about the worst thing you can do to someone you love.

They were both treated as heretics, but Phượng reacted by getting a superiority complex and starting to hate everyone, while May still thinks everyone is fundamentally good, except herself. Phượng is (technically) a younger sister and constantly pushes back against Thanh's overprotectiveness, something May sees as disrespectful and scary, as an older sister who spent years obsessing over Meri's safety. Finally, Phượng's violent tendencies/occasional anger issues are something May sees as a big moral problem.

And.... that was a LOT. I'm not sure if I'll keep this post up honestly because there's still like a TINY chance I'll adapt this into something. But for now enjoy the lore dump :P

[daedelweiss]

Are any of the turtles neurodivergent in your new AU? (I know Mikey has selective mutism, but I'm talking aside from that.)

leo has ADHD because i apparently want to give every one of my leos ADHD 💖

and idk if it counts as neurodivergence but donnie has bad OCD. he has so many rituals he does because he thinks it will keep his family out of danger, both that make perfect sense (checking and rechecking security cam footage) and weird things (not texting exclamations/emojis in 4s because 4 is associated with death in japanese culture. i actually had this for a while and lowkey still have this)

considering ADD april too 😄

[identity-theft-101]

Not sure why and not going to think more about it but maybe Lilia would like to hear stuff about cinematography? I feel like it's a maybe with Vil? Definitely with Rook as I feel like Rook would listen to anyone about anything because he

Heck I bet talking about cinematography to Grim, Ace, and Deuce may get them wanting to make a short film.

I do think I'd find random info about cinematography interesting. Any random tidbits ya want to share?

Lilia would probably enjoy my bullshit!

(Vil and rook scare me lol)

Random knowledge:

Framing of scenes can be super important for the story! Making the choice to have certain items or a certain POV for a shot can complete change the intended energy for a scene.

The vertigo effect was invented in the 1940's and used for the movie 'Rebecca' but it didn't get the desired effect right until 1958 with the film 'Vertigo'.

It is created by rolling the camera AWAY from the Focus and simultaneously zooming IN. It is used to create an air of dramatic unease!

My least favorite equipment piece is a crane due to the annoyance of setting up and moving the sucker.

My favorites are the gimble and shoulder mount!

Gimbles are used to create a steady-cam while the camera has to move a lot. This is really handy for action scenes if you want a POV that's kinda IN the action!

They are basically good for anything that requires the camera to be moving frequently to maintain certain shots and you DONT want the camera to shake artistically.

Extreme Close Ups are a good way to make the scene feel claustrophobic or like it's closing in

My favorite film in a cinematic sense is "The secret Life of Walter Mitty"

Other bullshit:

Audio is the make or break with many films. If you have shit audio and it's not artistically intentional, restart.

You can get the best sound effects by doing the weirdest thing!! (Tree fall down? Break/eat celery next to the mic)

This is called 'Foley' and its one of of my favorite things!

I was often in charge of soundtracks becuase I loved keying up sound effects and music tracks! I also have big ass Audiophile style headphones.

Horror films aren't scary to me because I am too busy looking at the camera angles and giggling like a fangirl

My favorite silent film is Nosferatu

I have hearing loss from being the designated sound guy- People always yelled into my mic as a prank (I would have a headset plugged into the mic to make sure i got good sound)

I also often doubled as a "SCRIPT SUPERVISOR" which is in charge of continuity between shots, (ie I made sure your hat didn't change to a diffrent hat between scenes)

My film team hated me as script supervisor and storyboard manager because I was "too ocd about it" and would correct things "too often"

I still want to fucking fight them over that

They also cut a lot of my audio effects from the final version of the short film and that made me even more pissed

I used to "Lone Wolf" a lot of my projects becuase everyone hated to work with me due to my work style (or just hated me lol)

I often let actors improv dialog becuase it felt more natural and I was horrible at story-telling! It was a pain to edit, but the reactions and emotions were GOLD

I really like dramatic lighting! I would often use lighting that would give harsh shadows, one of my favorite lighting sources was actually bonfires.

Fucking love horror films, they go absolutely HARD with soundtracks and specific shots (Extreme Close Ups my beloved ♡♡♡)

[neurodiversebones]

cam has ocd to Me btw .

[tinogiehd]

why does cam think you have ocd

two days I convinced myself that if I ate red 40 food coloring I was going to die and that has something to do with it I think

[who-is-muses]

A deeply rooted fear that has stuck with Jonathan since childhood is that he’s being watched by someone unseen without him knowing. Be it spying on him, hidden cameras recording him, strangers following him- while this stems from his abusive great grandmother’s iron grip of control over him as well as his father watching him through security cams, his current adversary’s ability of stealth and surveillance does nothing to help this fear. It manifests in some of his OCD behaviors, especially those centered around sleeping.

If he were to discover anyone he allowed to be closer than a stranger was watching him- especially recording him, meaning they could save videos of him- Jonathan would be extremely angry, before reverting to a state of heightened paranoia and a subsequent decline in mood and mental health. Needless to say if a friend or lover betrayed his trust like this, his reaction and the ensuing breakdown would be worse still.

[mental-health-advice]

hi there, sorry to bother you, also I hope that youre doing well. I am in a difficult situation, this whole year made a real mess inside my head and I am feeling the worst since 2016. I need peace and time to get myself together, but my girlfriend has her OCD and makes things difficult for us both. My reaction to her OCD is my responsibility, but I wish she wouldn't bother me with it so much.. Also shes scared of Covid-19 and the vaccine, so I can't visit my family (to get to them it only needs a hour and half long ride), I visited my family only once in this entire year, yeah, sure they came to visit me, but we saw each other like 5 times in total. This is starting to hurt so much, my social interactions are dying and I am hurting. I don't know what to do. Do you have any kind of advice? Thank you so much, stay safe and have a nice day.

Hey there,

Despite your girlfriend having OCD, it shouldn’t all be put on you (the OCD stuff I mean) and especially as despite reassurance and being there for her when she needs you there’s not much else you can do.

I wonder if your girlfriend is in therapy and if not then if she would consider it? Even though covid-19 is still an issue, it’s also meant that a lot of therapies and doctor/ GP appointments can now be done via telehealth (either on the phone or on web counselling via web cam.) This has made things a lot easier for some people so it may be really beneficial for your girlfriend to look into therapy. If she does chooses to check it out a great starting point is to see her local doctor or GP, this link on getting help can also come in handy.

I am so sorry that you have been unable to see your family in such a long time, hopefully you have been able to over the past few years with covid-19 calming down a bit though!

In terms of help and advice, I want you to also know that you too can access help and support, whether it’s through your local doctor or GP, a therapist of some kind or even a counsellor from either a helpline or via web counselling. You deserve to have someone to talk to as well and who knows, they may be able to help you learn different ways you can be supportive of your girlfriend when she needs it. With this being said though it’s also important to acknowledge that your girlfriend is the one who has OCD, not you so even though OCD is extremely horrible to have, it’s up to her to take responsibility for her illness and recovery and not to put it on you. If that makes sense?

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren  

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. lady who doesn't like frogs and likes to do pillow cases in a certain way lefty eyebag 😅

You're worried that your anxiety will scare me away? I think I'm way past that already. I don't think knowing more about you will scare me.. actually that OCD with the clothes does scare me.. just kidding!

Yeah, I've taken some, but I don't think it's helping at all. I hate it, because it always happens late at night and then when I wake up it comes back.

I do that with my money too, I make sure it faces the same way, and it's not upside down...then it has to be from lowest to highest amount in my wallet. I feel like it could bring me good luck when I do that.

How many pillows do you guys have on your bed??

Yes yes, I love that episode too. Cam is just so over the top hahaha I remember Claire looking at the pamphlet and it's how they look like as old people 🤣🤣

I wish I liked hiking, I would enjoy the views so much. So was the hiking spot and lake in the same area? Like they filmed it in Lake Tahoe? Fun fact, when I first got to the states, I lived in Sacramento and around winter time, we actually went to Lake Tahoe and that's the first time I saw snow.

How is your dark Nat fic coming along?

- CuriousGeorge

Hahhaa yaaay a new nickname for me! Lol love it!

How r u feeling,righty eyebag? Hows ur day n what u doing?

Haha yea i do worried that my anxiety will scare u away. But u already know kinda too much about me.lol.

I love wearing clothes that the colors match so i want to teach em to be like that too.. i dont want her when she is older, wearing clothes that too much going on or tacky 😅 i meant it's good that we can teach her to decide what she wants but i think as a parents we gotta still guide her n give clue.lol. like i said, as a parent, im like Claire. Lol.

Maybe u r stressed or probably looking at screen too much. Or maybe dehydrated?

I used to work at a gas station graveyard shift from 11pm to 7am in the morning. It's always bother me whn i see the register, the money not organized and i just random sides,or upsidr down after the previous shift left.😅

We have 4 somtimes 5.hahah. because i use two, 1 pillow between mine n his. N he sometimes use to pillows sometimes 1. 😅

Haha yeah it's funny.. im not sure if where they were at was the exact spot where i saw the huge collapse tree but it's arpund there somewhere because the hike was pretty long.

Sometimes i dont like hiking sometimes i do.. at the end when i can reach the top,it's the best feeling.haha. i dont hike often.

Yes the hiking part n the lake where they jump n with the houseboat (which i think it's really sick!) are at lake tahoe..

I love lake tahoe! I tried riding snowmobile the first time there.. n it was fun.. i tried the one that let u ride up the mountain by urself n they just give u map n tell u to follow cerain color of ribbons on the tree to go up n follow different color when u go back. It was amazing! N gives u an adrenaline rush.

That was a pict from my second time doing it.

Aaw thats nice! Lake tahoe is beautiful. I experienced my first heavy snow in lake tahoe too..

My dark nat fic is going slow because i have a lot going on last few days but i can say it's 85% done n im really excited! Cant wait to post it! It was supposed to be a oneshot but now im writing pt. 3 of it.lol. i dont know it will be only 3 parts or 4 parts. I hope u will like it.

Next question!

Cheerio!

[once-was-muses]

A deeply rooted fear that has stuck with Jonathan since childhood is that he’s being watched by someone unseen without him knowing. Be it spying on him, hidden cameras recording him, strangers following him- while this stems from his abusive great grandmother’s iron grip of control over him as well as his father watching him through security cams, his current adversary’s ability of stealth and surveillance does nothing to help this fear. It manifests in some of his OCD behaviors, especially those centered around sleeping.

If he were to discover anyone he allowed to be closer than a stranger was watching him- especially recording him, meaning they could save videos of him- Jonathan would be extremely angry, before reverting to a state of heightened paranoia and a subsequent decline in mood and mental health. Needless to say if a friend or lover betrayed his trust like this, his reaction and the ensuing breakdown would be worse still.

[angrelysimpping]

Extras 2

Stuff that wasn't a request but I ended up going overboard for 👉👈

Uncle Leighton slips into his Niece's bed [M!Leighton x F!Reader; inc*st; noncon; threats; drugs, but not used on the reader]

Most to Least into Cockwarming

Hysterical Kylar fucking Tranqed Reader with their Knife [GN Kylar and Reader; noncon; object insertion; drugging; knife; blood; Kylar does something fucked up]

That Trend where Women Show off Their New Nails by Placing them over Their Partner's Bulge

Characters + Ace!PC/Sex Repulsed Ace!PC [some acephobia; noncon, not explicit; gaslighting, not explicit; victim-blaming, not explicit]

Having a diff TF on Remy's Farm [hybrids; TFs: bird/harpy, cat, wolf, angel, demon, fallen angel, cow]

Wren Chikan

Walking in on F!LIs jacking off

PC saying NPC's personal info out of nowhere

Giving them your bra

What desserts they like

Alex’s insecurities

Blind PC asking LIs to describe themself 

Men have nice tits

What porn they watch

Who watches cam model PC

LIs + musician PC

Alex/Eden/PC musings

Avery + transgirl PC hcs; Avery + transboy PC hcs

PC singing/humming LIs to sleep

NPCs with short PC 

LIs + tall PC

PC moaning their name while sleeping

LIs + hickies

Clothes sharing

PC humping NPCs in while sleeping

Names

Stimming

Uni Majors

Swan PC

Running in Heels

Where they like to mark

PC saying “i love you” when sleeping

Height HCs

NPCs with PC who like to draw them

NPCs with PC who likes using cute pet names :3

Rat TF PC

Characters w/ PC who has OCD [Remember many of these characters are not nice, please take care of yourself!]

F!Avery w/ transgirl PC

Sick PC

BNHA Quirks

Voice thoughts