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writingmochi · 2 months

Text

part 1

cast: heeseung ✗ fem.reader (ft. the peeps, enhypen, and other idols)

synopsis: when you told your long-term rival and latest hook-up, heeseung, that you are pregnant with his child; you didn't expect said topic to be involved in your rivalry!

genre: romantic comedy, slice of life, coming-of-age, slow burn, drama, rivals since childhood to [redacted], college/university au, pregnancy au, future parents au, fluff, angst, mature content (explicit smut)

word count: 24198 (24.2k) out of 60550 (60.5k)

warning(s): pregnancy (what did you expect?), so many curse words!, description of explicit sex (in a flashback sense), rough sex, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, manhandling, vomiting, mention of drugs (marijuana, alcohol), mention of blood, dark humor (if there is something that i forgot, let me know)

message of the moon: remember that this story is fiction and do be careful and read the warnings at the top. all the idols mentioned here are not what they are in real life.

first fic of 2024! i've ideated this since like 2022 and it's here what the heck!! this is part 1 of 2 of a 57k-58k word count one-shot (yes, this is supposed to be a one-shot) but tumblr hates me so i have to divide it into two. thanks for the 200+ notes on the teaser/character intro and i hope you enjoy it!

soundtrack (spoilers for part 2!) | part 2

prologue: a town called valentine

it was valentine 2002 when you and heeseung first met. well, if you consider babies who can’t even talk to each other will know of each other. you have to thank both of your moms for that—getting pregnant around the same time and giving birth in the same year as well.

but the earliest—vivid—memory you have of him was on valentine 2005. you hid behind your mama’s leg as she talked with someone: another adult. you glance around the outside space you’re in, the plants and pathway unknown to you as mama can see your eyes wander with your tiny mouth agape when you look past the other adult to recognize the widening door right beside them. you heard your mother giggling with the other person as they converse about something your 4-year-old mind wouldn’t be able to understand.

“(y/n) sweetie! say hi to auntie.” your mama caresses your hair with her hand as she guides you to stand beside her, her hands moving behind your small set of shoulders before you. the small hands reached for one of hers, holding it tight as you stood beside her.

“hello…” you looked up to meet a beautiful woman. her eyes are wide as they remind you of the mother deer you last saw when you watched bambi with mama and papa. and you can feel a ticklish feeling inside you as you watch her eyes smiling softly at you. as she smiles at you softly.

“hello (y/n)! you’ve grown so much since i last met you.” her hands give a wave, making you raise your hand up as you mirror her while you pick up your mama’s chuckle. the lady moves back, extending her arm as you see a clean hallway full of photos on one side and a cabinet full of shoes on the other. some of them looking similar to your own shoe size.

“please come inside. i’ve set the toys so she can play with them if she wants.” the lady—well, auntie—said as your mama guided you inside with her trailing behind. sitting on the hidden seating area by the cabinet, she helps you take off your shoes before opening her hands to let you hold them. she lets you walk in front as both of you enter a big room with a sofa in front of a television. as per told by mama every time you enter someone’s home: sit down beside mama or papa as you waited for the homeowner to guide you next. the back of the sofa is too tall for your height now and you let your hand graze against the side of the soft sofa when you encounter a large mat laid in between the sofa and the screen.

your brain tingles when you find a few toys you can name—like the ones you own back home—while a few of them you don’t recognize at all. eyes on the toys, you throw away whatever your mama has told you and tug her hand to let her know the existence of them. looking up, she looks down at you, glance at the pile of toys left behind, and gives nods, making you grin as you both sit on the playmat. your eyes immediately look at blocks stacked shaping like a house; its triangle roof, square walls, four windows, and door makes you easily imagine it. you crawl towards it and the box beside it, finding the other blocks left behind as you pull some of them out to make your own little house. as you slowly stack up the blocks—hearing the sound of wood tapping against each other—you heard the sound of giggling coming from behind the sofa.

“sorry, he just finished taking a bath.” auntie said to your mom who was behind you, walking closer to the sofa as you turned your head to face her. that’s when you see another person walking into the room with a small pitter-patter heard behind them. the steps are getting louder and louder as you see a small figure enter the room, walking towards the person laughing. the person wipes his face with his small hand before pausing, turning his head to you.

“hi heeseung!” you heard your mama say as the boy’s laugh slows down and he looks at you and your mama. auntie, who now looks more like the bigger version of the boy, steps in to help him move and sit down beside you. you see him crouch down as you can see his face clearer. yet, his eyes wander on the house made of blocks—his house—and the house you’re making; wider by one block than his.

“that’s (y/n). you were too young to remember but auntie and i always bring you two to playdates since you’re not even one year old. she’s the same age as you.” you heard auntie say as you felt your mama help you to scoot closer. his hand reaches for the box of blocks as you place the final block on your house while he’s pulling out more blocks. you look at the boy’s action as you feel mama, with her larger hand, holding onto your smaller one. your palm is now open as you see heeseung was told to do the same by his mom, putting away the blocks on the mat. your hands meet each other as you say your name. mama helps in closing your fingers, wrapping your hand in his as he follows.

“my name is (y/n).” the boy’s hand also uses the same force when you shake it. both women let go of their children’s hands as both of your little hands are floating, connected, and shaking. your eyes meet his as he looks back at the two houses made of blocks.

“my name is heeseung.” he smiles.

1. stay soft, silly

the way the corner of his mouth twitches makes you think outside of the plan you are executing now, nearly done in telling him what he needs to know.

your hands rested on top of your stomach, feeling a little bulge that was not there a month ago. his ice americano contrasts with your hot jasmine tea as you sit across from each other. years upon years of history went on pause for this moment. for a truce that you are proposing.

“and they’re mine?” heeseung sounded. your eyebrows folded, looking down at the swollen part beneath your stomach as you pouted your lips, holding back your giggling as you glanced back at him.

“i haven’t had sex with anyone this past month besides you. so, yeah. the baby is yours.”

it’s funny, you see. with the amount of carefulness you and your friends have taught you of the college hook-up culture you got roped into, you never expected to hook up with your rival. yet tension does what tension does, and it snaps as you both stumbled to kiss each other.

when it comes to your “relationship” with heeseung, the closest to a positive one was when you were in kindergarten, as you’ve known him before by the amount of playdates both of your mothers set up.

little did they know that one time at a playground during one of those playdates, you were left alone to play with your sandcastles as heeseung ventured to play with the other boys, running around the sandpit playing tag and how you see the familiar little jeans pants walks in front of you, knocking the castle down and flying the specks of sand to your face with your slower reaction speed—because of your younger age—not making you close your eyelids quicker. your eyes watering as you wail out, getting the attention of your mama but not the jean-wearing boy’s attention as you hear his mom telling him to stop. apologizing is simple for your younger self, just a plain “sorry” is okay. but when lee heeseung—who you consider your friend at that time—said “sorry” with a grin on his face, you caught onto the impression that he was not sorry at all.

at age 7, you came back from the cafeteria to your class to find heeseung and his gang of boys pulling on a girl’s hair, the familiar sadness showing on her face as you caught her eyes. you’ve known that they’ve played “dirty” and have been teasing other girls in your class before—just not you, which is strange in itself. with a tense set of hands, you push the boys away with your might and stand in between them, helping the girl who cowers behind you. you look down to watch heeseung on the floor, teeth showing and face crunched as he sees the scratch from when you pushed him near his elbow.

“what was that for?”

“to stop you. she doesn’t like it.”

one of his boys helps to pick him up on his feet as you can see him limping. your arms still wide as you protect the girl as best as you can. he pushes his sweaty bangs off his face as you can define the same gaze he had given you when you were 5 at the playground, now fiery. and you exude the same thing with your glare as you see the other boys helping carry him out to the nurse's office, his eyes staying on yours as you feel the girl’s hand holding you back from not walking after him again.

stickers become score markers as you and he tried to compete to get the most out of them, which comes with being nice and clever during classes. you were 10 when you had the same class as him once again, having to compete to be the quickest when raising your hands. but also the lowly giggles you give each other as you both realize just how wrong each other’s answers that comes with the teasing annoyance. it also comes in gym class as the teacher divided you up into different teams during team games—basketball being the most competitive as you are familiar with it. heeseung doesn’t hesitate to run towards you if you have a ball and try to dribble it across the court, pulling it as you try to pass it to your teammate, resulting in a tug-of-war where you both just don’t want to let it go. even with the whistling from the teacher as one teammate gets a hold of it to continue the game, you instead continue to have a screaming match with him.

it continues through middle school as you remember him not hesitating with his power to slam his dodgeball at your stomach during another gym class, making you curl up on the floor as your friends help you to the nurse's office, hearing him screaming “that’s what you get from stealing my lunch” as you remembered the taste of the chocolate bread you pick up from his tray yesterday. at high school as you and him argue in front of the vice principal about each of your club’s fundings, him with his basketball club who is already so successful with their winnings money that they can’t seem to let go to help other clubs who are staying afloat. even with your school having pride in the basketball team and other sports club achievements—making it a staple for the students to watch at least one game during their high school years. you never went to one as you rather babysit your neighbor’s kid for money than watch heeseung’s smug smile as he won another mvp trophy for that tournament.

when college came and you got into hybe uni as a business major, you didn’t expect to see heeseung on campus. you’ve known that since he focuses more on basketball in middle school, you are winning when it comes to academics. but when his smirking face tells you he got into hybe with a full scholarship because of basketball, your heart plummets into the fathoms. you were glad that he’s not in the same faculty as you, but the college environment is so small that your acquaintances recognize each other. you can’t seem to stay away from him who still has his smart for balancing his gpa and non-academic activities.

so when your lips met his own as you sobered up after having the party busted by the police, your mind is telling you to out-better him in lust and pleasure.

“who can make each other cum the most? never thought of you as that filthy, (l/n)”

the grip of his hair on your hand tightens as he trails his own to get a grip of yours. both of your heads now straight as you can’t look away from each other even if you want to.

“i take that you’re saying that because you don’t know how to make girls cum with your dick, lee.” you chuckled. heeseung’s gaze is still meeting yours as he pushes your head forward, making your forehead touch his as he mumbles something only you can hear.

“i know i can make you cum on my dick just by the way you’re clenching your thighs, baby. how do we tally the score?”

“start a kiss on the lips when you know you can’t hold back?”

“deal.”

“by the way, who won?” heeseung asked, leaning his body forward on the table as you peer down at his position from you, holding yourself as you stretch your back to help with the pain.

“how many times did you cum? and don’t fucking lie.”

heeseung’s bed is rocking beneath you as he folds you up in half, your knees on either side of you as he pounds into you. gasps fall out of your mouth as you pull on his hair, something you realize he likes after the amount of groan coming out of him from when you tug him. praises come out of your mouth as you try every method you can to turn him on first; to make him cum first. but the way he is pushing down on your abdomen makes you clench harder.

“look at how you’re clenching onto me. you’re close, aren’t you?” he whispered as you felt the breeze blowing onto your saliva-stained neck you are certain had hickeys on it. heeseung had to remind himself that he couldn’t kiss your lips, no matter how delectable they were, changing to kissing your neck.

“n-“ you moan as heeseung’s hand traces down to grip your ribcage, pulling you closer to him so he could find another angle to reach you deeper, pleasuring you both in return. “no.”

“don’t lie to me, (y/n).” his head pulls back from your crook as you watch his bangs faltering from the hard pounding to his mattress. “god, you’re so fucking hot when you’re under me.”

“fuck, just like that.” you retaliate with your own dirty talk, hands holding his waist so he could stay longer in your cavern as you grip him. but when you sense his breath against your skin, nose upon nose touching, the grip on his waist trails up as you cup his face. nodding your head as you feel him getting faster, you pull his head down and make his lips meet yours. you bit your bottom lip as your muffled moans vibrated between the two of you. your body giving up for a moment as he continued to thrust into you, making you let go as you let out a silent scream when you felt the moist gushing against him inside you. heeseung’s lips are unhesitant to kiss between your eyebrows as your body calms down from shaking, eyes rolling back to their original place as you continue to caress his cheekbone before a surge of energy comes back to you. you push him to the side, placing him down on the mattress as your hands grab both of his wrists to rest beside his head.

“i can feel you twitching inside me, hee. i know you’re close,” you said as you bounce on his lap, feeling the way your essence fell out and how much slick is on his penis because of you. as you have the upper hand, you decide to tease him by falling on him slower than the pace you have familiarized, making his wrists flinched under your hold as you click your tongue.

“you like how my walls are sucking you?”

“fuck, yes,” he mumbled under his breath.

“yeah..?” you replied as you leaned forward, making heeseung reach up to kiss your areola as best as he could.

“come on. you don’t wanna cum again?” heeseung asked in such a whiny voice that makes you snicker at how needy he has become. you decide to continue your teasing when you trail your nose along his face as you give a tiny kiss underneath his earlobe where you see the hickey you made on his clavicle. you move your hips so slowly as you feel how he becomes more erect even when he’s inside you.

“you’re the one who denies it yourself. i’m currently helping you here.” you poke your tongue and trace down his adam’s apple to his chest, reaching his nipple and giving it a suck. heeseung’s hip shoots up into you as he wants to take control. your hand moving closer to his palm with the grip that is getting loose as he pushes both his arms to let go of your hold. yet, you pull them back up as you reposition your fingers to interlock with his, withholding what he wants to make you move faster as he thrusts up into you.

you stare at how his doe-like eyes are begging for you after the number of times you have hated and feared the same eyes. how it glistens with tears because of how uncooperative you are even with your pace getting faster. with that, you lean forward as you stretch his hands and place them on your moving hips, letting them go so he can grip it hard as he tries to chase that feeling once again. you drape yourself above him as his blown-out eyes stare right at yours, his orange fiery flame meeting your own blue.

leaning forward more as you sensed one of his hands resting on your back, you brush away his hair that is sticking on his forehead as you whispered the death blow.

“you can cum in me-“

he leans up to connect your lips with his as you understand the signal, making your hips help to stimulate him more. his tongue flicking out and even wetting the skin around your lips as he moans out your name, letting out an exhale as your forehead is on his.

“want to breed you…” he whispered as you nodded, knowing just how much you like cum staining your walls as you give him a peck.

“breed me then.”

as he spoke to you about when he cums in your walls cowgirl style, you couldn’t help but snicker at the memories of his newly known breeding kink and your own creampie kink makes the resulting bun in your oven, making him flick your hand as you stare at him.

“that’s one for you and one for me- what are you thinking?” the way his voice pitches up at the end of the question makes you giggle even more.

“i swear-“ you lean forward as you realize the stage you are in, “the way our kinks create them,” you point down to your stomach.

“with the way your body shivers when i cum in you,” he said as he also leans forward. “i knew you like it. but i didn’t realize how feral you got because of that.”

“how feral we got, heeseung. fucking correct that.”

“oh fuck!” you moaned out into the mattress as heeseung held your hips up when he thrusts back into you from behind. you can sense how every time he pounds into you, his release is coming out alongside him as the wet clapping noises penetrate even the sound of both the cricketing bed frame and both of your moans. his hand goes up to your head and pulls your hair as the other pushes against your stomach, making you bend back towards him as the moans you let out of your mouth are clearer. his lips sucking another hickey onto your shoulder as you lean your head back on him to widen his access. your hands gripping onto both of the hands that are now resting on your abdomen and one on your breast, respectively.

“who can make you feel like this?” the question triggering you right away.

“y-you.”

“say my name, baby,” he said as he kissed your cheeks, making you turn your head towards the side as you opened your eyes to meet his, continuing to pleasure you into oblivion.

“heeseung…”

“go on.” he squeezed your flesh and you bit your bottom lip.

“heeseung!”

the hand on your abdomen leaves to crawl to your nub as your free hand reaches up to his nape, letting you connect your lips with his as best as you can. your body doing gymnastics before it is overcome by your second wave of cum when heeseung stops and twist your upper body to connect both of your lips fully. with his hands enveloping you, you push both of your body down as you let him spoon you.

grinding your hips against him, you reached down to gather both your cums as you give it a lick, making heeseung groan as he helps you push against him. “fuck, (y/n), how are you still so tight?”

“only for you-“ you reply as you shift away, just wanting to kiss heeseung, but then you remember the rules. with your shoulder, you push heeseung so he lays back on the bed as you lie on top of him. your knees folding so you can put your heels on the mattress as you lift yourself up and down on his shaft. you push your hands against is so you can sit and let you see the messiness yourself: both of your thighs are now covered in whiteness as you continue, realizing how sticky your skins are against each other. instead of letting you observe the messiness, heeseung pulls your upper body back to his as he also folds his knees and pushes his heels to the bed, thrusting upwards and making the pace quicker.

both of your moans combine with each other as he rests his arms around your midriff so you can’t move away from him. your head tilts to look behind you at the way heeseung is closing his eyes. as the point of your nose touches his skin, he doesn’t hesitate to turn to you and brought your lips onto his as he gives a few sputtering thrusts before you felt him cumming in you once again, making you fuller than ever.

“and that’s another two for each of us,” you replied as heeseung let out a snicker.

“still a tie, huh?”

“yeah, but we decided on a tiebreaker, right?” he responded with a hum.

with how sweaty, sticky, and tired you both are, you decide to do a tiebreaker with you sitting on his lap in a lotus position. your breath meeting his as both of you work in tandem (with a little burst exerted once in a while) to make any of you cum first and declare to be the winner of this messed-up game you made. heeseung licks the skin below your neck and plays with your breasts as you let your fingers experiment with his nipples and the way your nails scratch against his back muscles. you know that both of you are exhausted because the only sound that comes out is the small moans and whines left over. you looked down to see the messy environment you made between both of your crotches, making you scoop it up as you lift your cum-covered forefinger to your mouth, sucking it in, before pulling heeseung’s head so you can let him taste both of you.

his wide eyes glance up at you as he puts on a show to make you turn on more, swirling his tongue around your middle finger as the hand that was holding your shoulder blade reaches to your face, making his thumb pressing against your bottom lip so you can suck it. your hips grind on him faster, bouncing a few times, as both of your moans are muffled by both of your fingers. pulling your finger back, a string of saliva connected it and his lips as you cup his cheek. heeseung bites his lip as he pulls the thumb out to see your swollen lips. as you stare at each other—thinking back to the past few hours that have gotten you here in this position—you sense something strange within you. something so unfamiliar when you stare at him than the other moments you blatantly glare towards him. with the way he glances around your face as he connects your forehead with his, you recognize he might have sensed the same things too.

you don’t remember who is the first one to reach out, but as both of your lips connect, you let yourself envelop him as he did you. both of you not stopping and helping each other out as both of you cum in quick succession. not letting go of each other’s lips as you both pull away slowly; looking at the string of saliva connecting both of you as you stare at each other.

“we don’t need to discuss that.”

“no, we don’t,”

both of you replied right after the other as you see heeseung looking away from you to glance at the window beside the table. you glance at the condensation forming on the glass of his americano before glimpsing towards the booth where he sat. a duffle bag beside his backpack; you guess it will be for his basketball practice, it is near the college basketball season after all. but as you glance up at the man himself—you notice how different he has been since you were children. the way he muscled up and the baby fat on his face sheds away from the amount of sports he has to consume weekly. but, with all the invisible scars you both inflicted on each other from then until now, you weigh in just how ridiculously complex your relationship is that you don’t know if he wants to agree with it or not.

“well, now that you know…” you started, rubbing your hand against your sweater paws, “you don’t have to contribute to their life.”

heeseung hums, turning back to look towards you with confusion written on his face.

“it’s okay if you don’t want to get involved in taking care of them. it’s hard enough to be a senior-year college student, let alone raising a baby. it’s my choice to keep them, so i have to take responsibility for that.” you grabbed the now lukewarm cup of tea as you take a sip from it, placing it gently on the small plate as you continued with, “especially knowing how complicated we are.” you use your forefinger to point between him and you.

the man’s face is hard to read. he jutted his lips, biting the inside of his cheek as you see him blink whilst looking towards you, trying to get a read on you as well. being 8 weeks pregnant, you just wanted the meeting to end because you have all the other things you need to organize: telling the girls about your pregnancy diets and symptoms, telling the university about them and maybe they could give you leeway with the tests and studies, setting up appointments for with the ob-gyn and the doula of your choice, and telling your parents.

your parents who knew heeseung’s parents.

this will be awkward as fuck to experience.

“and i wish we could have a truce for the next 40 weeks.” you said, already with an exasperated voice that seemed to even surprise heeseung. “with this lifelong rivalry going on and how both of us doesn’t even want it to stop, please just… give me a slack to take care of them as best as i could.”

when you expected heeseung to reply with an okay—knowing your status as an expecting mother to at least give you some slack—you were met with a piercing gaze instead. how he looks between your face and your hidden stomach behind the table. he rests his hand on the table when you watch him considering something, and you didn’t even fucking guess he will do what he does.

“no.”

“what?”

“no. there’s no truce.” he leans forward, recognizing the gaze in his eyes as you just want to punch it out of his face for even thinking about what he’s thinking.

“no fucking way you’re thinking about this.”

“why not, (y/n)? think you can’t take care of yourself enough for the baby?”

your palm is now against your forehead, brushing against your face as it trails down when you let out a groan, “you’re trying to make a rivalry on taking care of this baby…” you let out your guess as heeseung lets out his signature smirk and a voiceless ‘bingo’.

“how? they’re in me, heeseung.”

“by giving them good nutritious food, interacting with them, i don’t know. but i know from knowing you for years that you can’t take care of yourself, knowing you have three other roommates-“

“you also have three other fucking roommates. sheesh.” you shake your head as you lean back. “anything for the baby has to go through me first, you know? i can deny it if i want.”

“then we can argue who’s right. they’re my baby too and i have the right to be involved even if you don’t want to.” your phone vibrates after heeseung’s brash reply as you see the silent alarm of your next schedule of the day. you tug the strap of your bag to your shoulder and gulp the rest of your tea.

“whatever, i have another thing to do.”

“does it involve the baby?”

“no. unless you wanna join my research class.”

you stood up from the booth as you straightened your sweater down, making heeseung glance at your abdomen before looking back at your face. “just so you remember: i’m doing this for the baby, not you.”

rolling your eyes, you flip him the bird as you walk away from him to your only class of the day, making heeseung let out a strangled smile.

“what the- what do you mean?”

the game continues as the other three guys look towards heeseung who is obliterating them with his king dedede, the sound of the fighting comes from the tv of their living room apartment as his fingers nimbly move on the switch controller, making the other three characters fly from the platforms as the familiar “game!” announcement calls.

the boys are sitting in various ways; beomgyu and jeongin are on the floor and jimin is beside him. the soundtrack of the super smash bros ultimate is playing in the background as heeseung smiles.

“i’m gonna be a dad.”

jeongin, the closest to the main port of the switch, quits the game as beomgyu lets out another loud shout—outside of the game—and jimin, who is sitting besides him, shakes his body with outstretched arms.

“BROOO!” beomgyu rubs his hand across his long hair as he faces heeseung fully, who is regretting not recording the reaction of his best buddies about this.

“how does heeseung, who doesn’t even like hooking up, get someone pregnant?” jimin asks to himself but also to the others as jeongin now stands in front of him, shielding the tv from his sight.

“forget that. who did you knock up, lee heeseung?” jeongin cuts through as heeseung leans back against the headrest of the couch. a mix of expressions showing on his face cause he doesn’t know if he has to laugh, be angry, be sad, or what else. he lets out a sigh as he picks the right voice tone to tell them.

“it’s fucking (y/n).”

“okay, now hold on!”

jeongin jumps, shedding the stern aura that he just created a few seconds ago. heeseung glances down at beomgyu who has his jaw dropped with jimin gripping on heeseung’s shoulder very hard.

“SINCE WHEN DID YOU TWO HOOK U-“

“shush!” jimin stands up and covers his hand on jeongin’s mouth, not wanting another complaint from the neighbors both horizontally and vertically.

“when?” beomgyu asked jeongin’s questions concisely as heeseung glanced towards the sofa and the kitchen right beside the front door of their apartment.

“you remember the party that got busted by the police?”

“yoon keeho’s party?”

“yeah, that one.” jimin acknowledges beomgyu’s answer as heeseung continues.

“long story short, (y/n) was alone and i went past her, teasing her for seeing that her friends left her behind when the police showed. she was tipsy which she shows by how easily stumbles. so i dragged her with me to our apartment when we escaped. i don’t know where you guys were, but she’s gotten a bit too annoying so i have to sober her up. we talked, and the tension was just too…” heeseung remembers as he was the one reaching for your face, to tell you to shut the fuck up, but the tension melted away before both of you proposes the game that you did. “so, we did it. and she asked me to meet up this morning and told me the news.”

“and what are your thoughts?” jimin asks, making the high-stakes emotions lower as he lets his friend talk about what he is feeling.

well, for heeseung, shock was an understatement. when he heard you utter the three words to him as he asked you what makes you want to meet up, never did he expect that to come out. surely, he has a breeding kink, and he had expected that to happen. but you told him you’re leaving early to get a plan b pill. maybe it didn’t work, but he doesn’t want to assume much about your body. then, he can sense the hidden sheer happiness blossoming within him. he wanted to smile and give you a hug, but then he remembered that it was you. that outside of his bed that night, you didn’t see him as a friend.

for someone who doesn’t hook up with people, heeseung knows how the hook-up culture works. he had heard multiple women fucking his three roommates from within his room and he could use his noise-canceling headphones against them. people might presume he is picky—a basketball jock who stays hidden and doesn’t want to hook up with anyone unlike his younger teammates—but the level of comfort is different when he has to do it with someone he doesn’t know and that’s why he rather stayed away. you? well, you are an anomaly.

though close because of your upbringing, he doesn’t know you outside of what he knows. that you were the kid who broke his truck even after he said sorry for ruining your sandcastle at that playground. that you were the kid who pushed him to the floor back when you were 7. that you’re the girl who he competes with to get the most stickers and not letting go of the basketball even though he stole it from you correctly. that he saw you stealing the bread from his tray as he came back from the vending machine. that you were the one telling the vice principal his basketball club doesn’t need as much money as they do because of their successful run, not knowing that their assistant coach stole the winning money.

so when you decide to create walls from your words, try to spin it so he doesn’t have to care about his baby, he had to say no. it’s as if you’re trying to keep the baby to yourself and not letting him in even though it takes two to tango. so, he found the most relevant way: competing for who takes care of that baby the right way—even if they’re in you. he doesn’t even think far from that thought no matter how ridiculous it is as now he realizes what a logistical nightmare it’s going to be.

“you’re making a game out of taking care of your own child but not your baby mama?” jeongin questioned after hearing heeseung’s rambling about this.

“yup…” heeseung paused, a pregnant pause. “and i need all of your help.”

jimin’s face changes as he hears the way heeseung described his face, rubbing his palm against the creases forming on his forehead as he can’t comprehend how beomgyu easily accepts his role. jimin’s head perks up at heeseung calling his name.

“yo!” jimin replied.

“since you’re the only one out of us who has a direct connection to (y/n) through chaeryeong, you’ll be my eyes, okay? asked about (y/n), how she’s doing, and all that stuff.” heeseung nodded as he expectantly looked at the boy who stood beside jeongin.

“gotcha,” he replied, his eyes wide as heeseung turned towards jeongin.

“innie, you’re my source. find any article about pregnancy and what my role is gonna be as a dad. yadda yadda yadda. all that stu-“

“i do you one better, seung.” jeongin said as heeseung lifted his eyebrows at him, tilting his head.

“my mom is an ob-gyn doctor.”

“miss (y/n)!”

“wear this!”

there is sounds of pitter-patters all around you as you sense the weight getting heavier on your figure. a small cape hanging off your shoulders and a crooked crown on your head, you sit down cross-legged against a round table full of toy food and kitchen utensils. girls and boys alike sit on the chairs by the table with their own capes and crowns, playing around with their cups as they all have a tea party—with the other side of the room playing with legos.

“here is your tea and cake.” you see the girl beside you giving the plate of rubber cake and an empty tea cup.

“thank you, princess rami.” picking up the teacup into your hand, you let out a loud slurping noise to drink it, before flinching away as you fan your tongue.

“i’m so sorry. is it too hot?” rami asked as you shook your head.

“i’m okay. thank you for asking,” you replied as best as you could.

“you must be careful, princess rami.” the boy across from her spoke as you tilt your head to him.

“i’m alright. prince yujin. i will be more careful with the tea.” he gave out a smile as one girl called out.

“if we are all princes and princesses, how should we call miss (y/n)?” hyunseo asked across from you.

“well, miss (y/n) should be a queen!” woonhak replied enthusiastically.

“but if miss (y/n) is a queen, should she have a king?” hyunseo continued.

“or another queen. i have two queens at home.” yujin filled in as you gave off a smile with the implication. but then the kids started to bicker with each other as you looked around the room once again.

as you entered high school, you were determined to beat heeseung in another way other than school-related activities. and what other way by being independent and richer than him at a young age? so you raked your head of a simple work that can help you gain more pocket money when one of your aunts asks you if you can babysit their daughter and how she will pay you. seizing the opportunity, you get to take care of your baby cousin as you go to your aunt’s home to help her with her food and stuff. hearing your enjoyment by the dining room table, your mom suggests more opportunities to babysit children of your family members from both sides—to your youngest uncle’s 4-year-old son and your oldest cousin’s 6-month-old baby—you have an array of skills gotten from doing childcare as your mom recommend you to babysit her juniors’ children at work, making you who wanted it for the money now wants it for the children.

it needs a certain level of charisma to charm a child so they can listen to you and with the array of children you had to babysit, you’ve met and adapted as best as you can to all of them. from being the calm tutor for a baby who is training his motor skills to help a child practice balancing on a bicycle, you understand what a child wants under their tantrums. that love you give and the love you accept makes you want to contribute more to childcare. so you started volunteering in non-formal schools and orphanages, helping to at least make their days a little better. and that’s why you worked part-time as a daycare attendant since you entered university as it is a more established institution where you can shuffle your study schedule alongside your work schedule, meeting kids who are being sent here that are still younger than school age. it reminded you of your own childhood and you’re hoping that your inner child could be happy and satisfied that you let her feel that feeling again.

“guys…” your spoken voice cuts their conversations, and they all turn to you. “a queen doesn’t have to have a king or another queen by their side. a queen can stand alone too.”

“but wouldn’t that make the queen lonely?” rami questioned, making you pout your lips as you still can’t comprehend just how blatantly honest children are that it pierces through each layer of your heart to find the right spot.

“yes, the queen will be lonely. but she also has her princes, princesses, knights, counselors, and more around her. love doesn’t always come from one person, it can also come from a group.” you replied, making the group rowdy up as they converse about love and being independent—well, ‘lonely’ as they called it—when you feel a light pat on your shoulder.

turning your head, you see a younger girl other than those around the table holding a paper, stretching it towards you.

“for you, miss (y/n)…”

you slowly pick the paper from her small hands as you observe the drawing. a simple figure made of circles and triangles with different colors. a pink filled-in shape on one side of the triangle with the circle-shaped and another taller one holding the figures hand, a yellow crown-shaped drawing on top of a circle with a smiling face inside.

she drew you.

“awww. this is so sweet and nice.” you return to look at the younger girl, a warm smile showing on your face, “thank you, hyein.” you rub your hand on her hair—something you remember she likes—as her smile widens before she runs away towards her table, where she has a few more papers scattered.

you glance at her before looking at your own stomach, unconsciously rubbing it as you can feel your own child inside you now growing along with time. then, it all came so suddenly when you felt yourself regurgitating, hand coming up to your mouth as you stood up as fast as you could towards the staff bathroom. knocking open the door of the open stall, you kneeled down as you puke out your lunch for today, feeling your gag reflexes kicking in. you sensed a hand soothing down your back as you reached for the flush to drain it down the toilet bowl.

“you okay, (y/n)?” you hear the familiar voice of your supervisor, yoonah, behind you. nodding your head, you reach for the toilet paper and tear it apart as you wipe the remains and saliva off your lips. reaching for the crown that fortunately doesn’t fall when you puke your inside, you hold on to it as you stand up and veer around to the sink to clean your mouth, gargling and spitting out as you wipe the droplets of water from your lips.

“how is it going with the pregnancy?” she asked as you watched her reflection behind yours in the mirror. you nodded your head and chuckled.

“didn’t vomit for the past three days and i thought that was enough, and well, here i am.” you stare at your face, seeing your eyes glistening with tears with the number of times you had to cough out until your phlegm came out. you turn your head to face your boss as she gives you a solemn smile.

“so, i have already talked to hr and we agree to have you reduce your work day to just one per week. you can enter anytime between the weekdays depending on your schedule because you have lots of things to juggle with your ob-gyn appointment. we don’t want to weigh you down more.”

you looked sideways when yoonah didn’t seem to see you being glad of it. though it helps with not exerting your body—as per doctor park’s request—it will definitely reduce your money because of the appointments and others. you haven’t told your parents yet and maybe you can ask them for more money after but with the way your friends have already helped ease your part of the rent so you have enough money for your own diet and consultations; you don’t want them to provide more for you.

“that’s great and all, but what about my pay? can it be adjusted? it doesn’t have to be 200%. like, do I only work one day for a pay of two like usual? or is it the regular one day pay? if it’s the latter, maybe a 25% increase will be great? for the consultations and others…” you said, not realizing that you had a few stray tears leaving out your eyes. nice fucking job, hormones.

yoonah picks up the crown from your head and she places it above your head, straightening it up as it rests right at the top of your head, “i will take about it to hr. you know that i’m on your side with this.” she pats your shoulder as you let out a faint “thank you” and see her walking away out of the bathroom. you brushed the tears away as you wet your hands to help unswollen them, even if it is for a bit. staring at yourself in the mirror, you pull your body up straight as you turn sideways, rubbing your abdomen as you can feel the life being put into you; piece by piece, cell by cell, forming into a human being.

as your feet enter the room one by one, tons of footsteps greet you as you look down to see the crown-wearing kids you are playing tea time with approaching you. their faces showing weariness so explicitly that you feel your heart tugging at them.

“are you ok, miss (y/n)?” hyein—the first one to be there—spoke as she was surrounded by kids taller and older than her. you notice someone holding onto your hand with their tiny one, seeing rami brushing the skin as you feel soothed.

“i am now. thank you, hyein,” you replied, letting your body fall as you kneeled before them, seeing the number of children you have taken care of for the years you had worked here. in your mind, it seemed ridiculous to think of your next move, but in a way that they have taught you so much about taking care of others, it’s proper to tell them yourself.

wiping the corner of your eyes as you feel your hormones acting up again, you speak, “what do you know about your moms?”

“mommy is very sweet to me,” hyunseo replies as she steps forward to stand next to hyein, their height difference looking so cute.

“mom is the one that picked me up from here.” woonhak also replied when you can see his mom’s smile on his own from the number of times she picked him up and showed that same smile.

“both of my mamas are the best in taking care of me and my brothers.” yujin added as there were more children rambling about their mothers, creating a wall of cacophony that seemed more like the background noise you heard each week as you worked. their voices dwindled as you looked expectantly at them one by one, a smile urging them to wait for something to come out of you.

“well, you see, i’m going to be just like your moms.”

yujin was the one that caught on first as he stepped closer and hugged you. while the others still looked confused, he turned around to looked at them and state it himself.

“MISS (Y/N) IS GOING TO BE A MOM!”

“miss (y/n)!”

“no wa-“

you heard the surge of children hugging you as you laughed out loud, seeing yoonah by the door as she also followed your laughter while you were surrounded by the children who were either hugging you or asking you questions.

“settle down, children. miss (y/n) needs a space to take a breather.” yoonah spoke up as she approached you who has a grin on your face.

“you said that you don’t have any king or queen?” yujin said as you felt your cheeks getting warmer, he now held onto the crown that slipped down your head from the number of kids that is surrounding you. while you could feel a hand on your stomach as you looked down to see hyein sitting down—remembering that she also has a pregnant mother with a little sibling on the way for her.

“it, it will be hard for me to explain it to you, but…” you felt yoonah’s hand on your shoulder as you glance at the closest clock in the room—finding the time for them to go home has come. “your moms are waiting for you to go home.”

you push yourself up to stand as yoonah guides the kids to pick their items up by the cabinets as you stand up straight, seeing the children walking around you when you see rami stepping beside you, arms wide open as you crouch down to give her a hug. you felt other sets of arms surrounding you as you giggled, pulling away your arms as the children noticed it.

“i’ll see you all next week!” you stated as yoonah brought all of them to the door of the daycare before opening them, seeing all of them going to their respective parents and guardians as a few of them acknowledged you. you turned around as you started your usual clean-up process, picking up the drawings that the children made and putting them in their own folders so you can give them to their guardians when they graduated, putting back the toys into the boxes, returning the costumes back to the wardrobe as you place the robe and crown you were also wearing, and you wanted to do one more thing, but you heard someone clearing their throat.

“i’ll clean the furniture and floor. you have done so much and you needed to eat and rest.” yoonah told you as you sighed, knowing that you seemed to be hungrier after you vomited out your food.

“thanks, boss.” you winked as she chuckled, bringing yourself to the staff room with the drawing that hyein gave to you—pinning in your mind to collect it with the drawings the kids you’ve taken care has made for you.

when collecting your things into your backpack, you glance at the paper that you printed out from your laptop as you scan the words, seeing your inked signature on the bottom as you see the blank space with the name right across from yours. heeseung’s name.

since he decided to be involved—you remembered while you talked to your faculty about your pregnancy and how they asked who the dad was, you decided to bring him up as a “student from another faculty.” it might make him think twice if he wants to be involved or not because he will get his name pin up on a note somewhere, which will be noted to his coach, lecturers, and more of his status. you are ready to be mentally burnt by the judgment your peers might give you, but is heeseung also ready?

you haven’t thought of the way you’re going to give heeseung the letter when you see minjeong’s name from your vibrating phone as you pick up the things you are bringing home and you hear yoonah talking as she sees you already leaving.

“carpool picking you up?”

“yeah, my roommate and her boyfriend.”

“okay, take care of yourself and i’ll follow up with your request.” you felt yoonah giving you a side hug as you gave a smile and wave when you pushed the door open. you breathed in the outside air to see the dark gray chevrolet camaro parked near the front of the building. walking to the back seats, you opened the door to be met with the music playing as minjeong greeted you.

“how’s work, (y/n)?” she instantly asked as sungchan lurched the car to a drive when you glanced at the bags of things beside you.

“freaking embarrassing. i vomited suddenly when i hadn’t vomited for the last 3 days but the kids reacted to it pretty okay. and i told them i’m gonna be a mom.”

“that’s so sweet!” she said, glancing back from her seat in front of you as she reached to touch you, making you sit in the middle with the console right in front of you as you see sungchan’s playing with the volume of bluetooth-connected car radio play the song that sounds so minjeong—which you can recognized right away.

“what did you guys do today?” you wiggled your eyebrows as you heard sungchan’s laugh from the way he looked at you from the rear-view mirror.

“you know what me and jeongie usually do, eat, shop, fuck, repeat-“

“no, we didn’t fuck today-“

“we did a quickie before we left to pick (y/n) up, winter.”

“okay! ughhh…” minjeong said, rubbing her face in embarrassment before replying, “i brought him to this cafe that has all these criterion collections that aren’t available on any of the streaming services we own. so i bought so many dvds for us to watch.”

“which are?”

“older movies, foreign movies. you did say that you enjoyed watching japanese movies, so i bought some of them for us to watch.”

“fuck, i love you so much for that, kim minjeong.” you replied as you heard sungchan’s little tsk, making you both giggle as his possessiveness is showing at the most ridiculous time.

“so, (y/n),” you hummed to sungchan’s starter words, “you haven’t told me who is your baby daddy.”

“guess!” you tugged yourself forward as your face was between their seats.

“how should i guess when i never see you hook up with people?” he replies as you glance at minjeong who is just watching him, an amused smile on her face.

“what if i say it’s song eunseok,” you mentioned his fellow frat bros.

“eunseok is dating that junior of his he has classes with. and he’s a loyal guy so i don’t think so.”

“what about park jisung? he’s hot in my eyes.”

“you don’t seem to be the kind to hook up with your junior,” he replied, making you squint your eyes.

“zhong chenle? he’s a fellow biz major like i do.”

“you’re definitely not his style.”

“now, that’s rude.” you hunch yourself back on the back seat as minjeong’s giggles compete with the music playing.

“you’re gonna be so shocked if we told you who he is.” she added as you nodded along, “two hints though: he’s our age and he’s a fellow jock-“

“that’s too much, jeong-ah.” you cover her mouth as her muffled nagging rings in the car. you can feel her lapping your palm, tickling your nerves and making you pull away as it’s now sungchan’s turn to have a giggling fit while watching his girlfriend and her roommate bickering. the trip was close between the daycare you work and the apartment tower you rented off-campus—but since you’ve mentioned to your roommates that you’ve been having back pain and vomiting sessions, they decided to help you out by being by your side as they drop you off or picking you up—just like what chaeryeong did as she drop you off to work before going to the dance studio.

so, when you stare out to see the small lobby of your apartment, you’re already with your backpack tucked to you as you open the door of the backseats. sungchan helped widen the door for you before going to the other side to help minjeong with the things she bought from their date. as you stood by the tiled floor of the lobby, minjeong gave sungchan one last kiss on the lips as you heard him say, “bye, babe! bye, (y/n) and hope you rest!”

“see you next week, baby.” the girl said as both you and her are waving your hands at the boy, who has entered the car driving off into the ending sunset of today. stepping inside the entrance of the apartment, you and she enter the empty elevator as you catch a glimpse at what other things minjeong had bought when you see a box from a chicken fast food brand, making your mouth water as you think about it, but you knew that you’ll be nag by dr. park for eating junk food.

pushing the handle after you put the pin on the keypad, you enter and instantly kick your shoes off as you are met with ryujin who is tying her hair up, walking towards you as she helps with minjeong’s bags. the apartment was left as you remembered this morning: a few scattered papers from either you or ryujin’s homework, the weighted blanket by the sofa now folded, and the smell of hot choco on the coffee table alongside ryujin’s laptop as you remembered that she only has online classes today.

“what did you bring?” ryujin wiggled her eyebrows as she rummaged open the bag that you’d seen when she instantly brought it to the kitchen counter when you saw her already cooking something. out of all four of you, you and ryujin are the ones talented in cooking so it’s not a surprise to see her cook for herself, but when you see the large plate that is places beside where the stove is, you know she has been making dinner for all four of you—as only chaeryeong’s the one who is not finished with her work today.

“why did you bring back fast food, minjeong? we promised to also have (y/n)’s diet.”

“that’s my leftover. chan said that the boys had too much stuff in their fridge so i brought it to us.” you then felt minjeong’s hand behind your lower back as she stood beside you, “hope you are okay with that.”

“of course, i’m okay.” you give minjeong a smile. “all of you aren’t obliged to follow my diet cause i know you love red meat, jinnie.”

“it feels wrong if i don’t follow you, though.” ryujin replied as you and minjeong go to your separate ways—she walked to her room while you stepped into the kitchen to see the food that minjeong brought. the chicken was a leftover but you also see her bringing back different meats and seafood.

“i almost forgot to ask you, but can you give me the list of the food that you can and can’t eat? just so i can help with the recipes and so we can pre-made food.” ryujin said as she put her arms behind your back, soothing you as you viewed her making japchae and beef on the pan.

“will do, ryu.” you give her a salute as she gives your cheek a squeeze before you let her be. taking your bag handle as you step towards the direction of your room, the bell of your apartment rings as ryujin turns towards you, making both of you tilt your head as you volunteer to get to the intercom.

when you press the button, the screen shows you someone you don’t expect to see as you can recognize the wolf cut hair you’ve seen while scrolling on your instagram. your footsteps immediately go to the door as you hear the ringing “hello”s from the intercom, opening it up to see the boy you’re trying your best to mask your feelings for with a box.

“heyya, (y/n)!” he replied as you widened the door to gaze at the box.

“h-hi beomgyu.” you give him a small smile as you try your best not to lock your eyes on him. to be having a crush on a boy like him is ridiculous, especially knowing that he is your RIVAL’s best friend. and the fact that you still have a crush on him since high school to then be found being in the same uni as him. if he doesn’t have heeseung by his side, you know you will brace yourself to approach him first. but now with his success as an indie musician, you know you are probably in a losing battle knowing just how spicy heeseung talks about you knowing that he has so many fans aiming at him and how you can’t compete with them—not as much as yeonjun though.

“wha, what’s this?”

“it’s for you.” he pushed the box towards you as you tried to peek inside when you felt a presence behind you.

“let me get that.” another pair of hands open by your side and you see the smirk on beomgyu’s face falter to see ryujin pulling the box against her.

“hi ryujin,” he said, a slight tremble in his voice as you finally be able to look at him with your heart eyes before back at ryujin.

“beomgyu,” she replied before leaving the door to put the box away. you eye the boy who is staring at the empty space for a few seconds too late before you are back in his attention, returning to the cheeky smile you adore.

“thank you for that!” you felt your palms getting sweatier than ever, rubbing one of them against the door to dry it.

“you gotta have to thank heeseung for that.”

the way beomgyu named he-who-shall-not-be-named shutters your fantasy as you were met with the reality. of course, it’s from heeseung, not from the boy you had a crush on—even if it means that the baby daddy trusts his best friend so much to tell him that he is having a baby with his rival. beomgyu seemed to be the nicer guy between the two. so, a girl can hope, right?

“oh yeah, wait for a minute!” you were so caught up in the way heeseung terrors you and slips back into your mind and how you wanted to slam the door when you heard his name when you remembered the paper that he had to sign. you pull the paper out of your folder as you pull one of your sticky notes and write a simple note to him. giving a smile to beomgyu, you handed him the paper as he stared at the words printed on it.

“give it to heeseung and send it back to me after that, or if he wants to submit it himself, then that’s fine. i have to give the contact person the info if he decides to send the paper to the administration himself.”

beomgyu nods as he chuckles at your note before giving a last “i will” before walking and waving away, making you close the door as you wonder how did he know where you lived. eh, that’s fine. you got to see what heeseung gave you as the box rested on top of the counter right beside ryujin who was pouring the japchae into the bowl.

slowly opening it—scared that he might have a jack-in-the-box mechanism inside it—you were met with plastics covering greens as you tugged a few of them out to be met with a bunch of fruits and vegetables still packed in their grocery’s packing. your shoulder meets ryujin’s as she took a glimpse at the new ingredient you picked out of the box.

“from beomgyu?”

shaking your head, you feel a piece of paper inside the box as you pinch it between your fingers. straighten the creases, you see the scribbles on the note as you read it in your mind.

eat them for the baby’s health and your own sanity - lhs

“heeseung,” you replied after you finish. ryujin gives a small hum as you catch the smirk on her face before you shove her with your shoulder. both of you open the plastics of the greens, vegetables, and fruits that heeseung bought for you, ryujin saying out loud the names of the greens as you and her bounce ideas of what kind of food she can make to cater to your diet.

“kale, cabbage, broccoli…” she picked another vegetable, carefully pulling away the plastics as the waft of the smell entered the kitchen. you knew of the vegetable, but being pregnant equals being sensitive to smells. and the way that you instantly wretch at the smell makes you scurry away from ryujin.

“hey, who rang the be-“

minjeong was pushed away as she saw you opening the door of their shared bathroom, making her turn around as she heard you wretch out the remaining food and saliva inside of you that is followed immediately by a flush from the toilet bowl. she walked to the kitchen to see ryujin holding stems of leaves on her hand.

“well, now we know she can’t eat arugula.”

the chime of the lock unlocked rings alongside the opening of the door of their apartment as ryujin and minjeong stare at it, seeing chaeryeong trying to breathe as she takes off her sneakers.

“WHY IS JIMIN PESTERING ME ABOUT (Y/N)?”

thumps and squeaks are what beomgyu heard as his eyes gazed at the lights coming out of the gymnasium. his feet working in tandem echoing through the night as he took another glance at the paper, another step away from the door as he pulled the handle to see a bunch of boys running around the wood-floored gym. beomgyu’s eyes searched for heeseung as he bit his lips, not wanting to be late for his own band practice with the boys.

turning towards the bleachers, he’s seen one of the boys that beomgyu remembered being on heeseung’s profile. his hands on top of his knees as he leans forward to see the 3 x 3 half court game beomgyu realized isn’t a part of training—but more of them having fun. he is taking a glimpse at heeseung who is muttering a curse word under his breath because the ball was stolen from his hold.

“hey, uh, sheep!”

the boy turns towards beomgyu with squinting feline-esque eyes before they widen, realizing who called him.

“your jersey has ‘yang’ on it. so i called you sheep.”

“nah, that’s okay. you’re beomgyu hyung, txt’s guitarist…” the boy stands up, their height almost the same as each other, but beomgyu knows that the kid can grow taller—from both basketball and his unfinished puberty phase, probably.

“i’m jungwon! i’m guessing you’re here for heeseung hyung?”

beomgyu glanced down at the paper as he nodded, “i couldn’t stay until he finished cause i have band practice. so, this document is for him to sign.” he told jungwon what you told him as his ghost patted himself on his shoulders for being right. beomgyu uses his thumbs to point behind him after jungwon picks up the paper that he pushed towards him and gives him a thumbs up before a loud "thank you" rings as the gymnasium door opens, leaving jungwon with a slight chuckle creeped out of his lips.

the boy couldn’t stop his curiosity as he turned the paper so he could read the writing, skimming it down as his eyebrows as he couldn’t stop his speech before it was too lat-

“HEESEUNG HYUNG IS A DAD?!”

jungwon’s shout makes movement screech to a halt as he looks up at his boys, also staring at heeseung, who is glaring at jungwon and the paper he is holding. but, his reaction speed was too slow to pull it off his grips as heeseung lost against the other five boys who had huddled towards jungwon.

“shut up!” sunoo exclaimed.

“it’s true, sun,” jongseong replied as he could hear jaeyun and riki screaming and laughing before they scurried to run around heeseung.

“who is this (y/n), hyung?” jaeyun speaks into his ear, making heeseung grimace as the three walk towards the crowd with sunghoon now holding onto the paper.

“isn’t (l/n)(y/n) your senior, jjong?” sunghoon calls out, making said boy read carefully the name with the signature on top.

“oh yeah! we had a marketing communication class together. didn’t know you knew her, hyung.”

heeseung steps in between them as he snatches the paper out of sunghoon’s grip in a quick frame. his eyes scan the paper that is written—the letter to the university administration about your status—and he can see his name printed on the side of the paper from yours. then, he finally read the note you have sticking onto the paper.

sign it and give it to the administration office. if you’re serious.

“won, it’s your turn to play,” he said as the boys stared at him. “i have things to do, plus i have a morning class tomorrow.”

“okay, hyung.” jungwon’s answer was followed by his offer to the older boys to continue the match as he felt another hand holding onto his forearm, turned to see the youngest boy with a small smile on his face.

“you gotta have to let us meet this (y/n) noona. i bet she’s pret-“

“go back to your place, riki-kun. jake’s calling for you.”

“hey, lanky. come on before i make you and jungwon switch.” jaeyun’s voice penetrates through the conversation at the correct moment as the smirk on heeseung’s face is growing. they’re leaving him alone as he walks towards his backpack and duffle bag—finally feeling the surging soreness from pushing himself hard while training and off-training. sure, it’s excessive. but the tournament is a month away from now, and he had to train for that, knowing that the matches would be back-to-back if he passed the quarter-finals.

the wood of the bleachers screeches beneath his body as he pulls out his pen, staring at the paper one last time—trembling breaths coming out from him. who knew that a single signature could hold so much power?

yet with how you are trying to deter him, to remind him that signing this will mean that the whole university will now know lee heeseung is a future father: that actually made him shake. he could feel the boiling anxiousness giving a few pumps of steam into his mind, clouding the plans he had already made in his mind from the information jeongin told him. he knows the future scenarios on both sides.

but fuck it, right? he’s not usually caring about what other people perceive. so what if he is known as a dad in nine months? but, he had to think about the parental leave you’re proposing—it might actually make him graduate late.

yet, the view is clear as he lets his pen glide on the paper.

the baby and your scowling face as you realize that his doing is the one that makes that baby so healthy.

tucking the paper in between his laptop and his wireless earbuds on his ears, he waves goodbye to the boys who are playing with sunoo giving a beautiful lay-up before he pushes the door to get out of the gym. the streetlights shining the pathways as he still can see students roaming around the campus at night—most are going to the library to maybe pull an all-nighter.

the screen illuminates his face as he scrolls down at the text jimin had sent him about you. but he had to do another victory lap first when he dialed the generic full name’s number.

“hello?”

“that will not work, (y/n).”

heeseung heard the grainy chuckle in his ear as he let his muscles’ memories take him home in the night's dark. eyes staring at the path that opens up onto the sidewalk where sparse vehicles are going about on the asphalt streets.

“so you sign it?” he caught the way you sigh against your phone while heeseung is focusing on both the conversation and what jimin texted about your condition.

“and i’ll be giving it to the office.”

“hmm, okay…” heeseung’s eyes scan through the words, letting his face contort and relax as he consumes it to his mind before it’s broken by a grainy sound of metal from your end.

“also, thanks, by the way. for the arugula. made me vomit my stomach out.” heeseung heard you reply as it slowly became more mumbled, hearing you eating your dinner’s food as the noises of the night came back into his cochlea, shaking his nerves as only white noises entertained him as he looked around—seeing his apartment building at the distance.

“and don’t make jimin ask chaeryeong about me again. she’s traumatized now and we have each other’s number saved.”

heeseung didn’t want to save your number at first. but when his mom brought him to her meeting with your mom, catching up after a long time and discussing that both of you have been accepted by the same university, they insisted that you both to have each other’s numbers saved. “for emergency sake, so you both have each other to rely on.” his mom explained, making him discreetly roll his eyes while you continue to listen to your music without giving a glance to him. yet, you’re the one that gave him your phone first so he can type his number, making a small “:p” the first thing you text to him.

“i’ll tell him.” he clicked his tongue as he caught the way you omit another information from him.

“but you’re not gonna tell me you have a doctor’s appointment next week?”

“how’d you kno-“

“jimin, from chaeryeong, and so, from you.” his smile gets bigger. “gotta have to thank jimin for that one.”

“so you want to join? what if you have a class?”

heeseung’s feet brought him to the lobby of his apartment building, his vision now on the elevator as he stated something so obvious to him.

“i have questions and i rather miss class than leave it unanswered.”

your hands are tugged inside your hoodie’s front pocket as you wait for your name to be called. the usual soreness is tamed as you let chaeryeong massage your back carefully, relaxing most of the tender muscles that are holding you up. you can see a little bump protruding out of your stomach that was not there when you discovered you were pregnant in week 8.

remembering the way you have to buy five pregnancy tests is ridiculous when your only symptoms are headaches and vomiting. but it quickly escalates to morning sickness and how you notice just how sensitive your senses have become—the way your fingers realize little grains of crayon as you pick up the kids’ drawing to how you’re triggered by little noises coming out off your room. it feels too strange for it to be food poisoning and with all five tests showing two blue stripes: all the problems you have faced for the past month—why your period is late, the morning sickness—all click inside your mind.

your girls were the first ones you spoke to, recalling how they waited in front of your shared bathroom as you flipped the tests around, hitting you one by one with the truth of your condition. then tears start to show as overwhelming emotions compete to show dominance and you hear chaeryeong’s voice from behind the knocks on the door. you open the door to feel them hugging you as you show them the tests, how they can’t wait to be your baby’s cool aunts from differing perspectives as they know of your history related to children, pregnancy, and motherhood from taking care of so many children, how your parents open up to you about why they couldn’t give you a younger sibling, and the responsibility you are willing to take care for them. at that moment they hugged, you’ve already fallen in love with your baby and you are determined to let them have a happy life.

the obstetrics and gynecology department’s walls were more pastel than the other parts of the hospital. maternity pack posters hanging as you read the words, planning your next steps as you waited by the door to your doctor. your fingers interlocked and thumbs twirling around each other as you attentively listen to the open door and your name being called. scouring your eyes around, you saw a little playground area for kids barren as you eyed the small set, mothers around you waiting also for their appointment—some with a sleeping baby in their hands, another with a large bump. the atmosphere is so serene that you can collect your thoughts and arrange them for the next seven months from your due date.

“hey, (y/n).”

your eyes blink as you turn around in your seat to face forward once again, looking up to find the familiar face you’ve been thinking about for the past few days.

heeseung wears a simple hoodie like you do, both of his hands tucked into the front pocket as the strap of his bag crosses his chest. a thin-lipped smile on his face as you didn’t see his usual resting bitch expression.

“heeseung…” you reply as you gnaw on the inside of cheek as he stands there, “i haven’t gotten the call from the doctor yet. so you can sit down.” your eyes glance quick at the vast space beside yours on the sofa you are also sitting down. he gave a quick nod before sitting on the space beside yours, a noticeable space between the two of you as you both lean more against each of the tables placed as the barriers between the sofas. even if you felt a piercing presence beside you, you tried your best not to look at him. the phone call when he called you was the last time you spoke with your voice to him—you having small talk with him as he found in the hospital doesn’t really count—yet he still gave you another box of ingredients for your unborn child this week, no arugula this time.

well, you are glad to see beomgyu more and you don’t mind seeing beomgyu every week if he’s the one that does heeseung’s errands for his child.

both of you stare forward at the doors and wall in front of you, nearing mirroring each other even by the slight twitch of both of you wanting to look at each other. but, also not really. the tension is stronger than when you told him you’re pregnant with his child. the fucking effects of the continued declaration of rivalry as you can calculate how far both of you are willing to push even for the past week and you can guess what you both will push more for the next 7 months.

“miss (l/n) (y/n)?” the door opened as the nurse spoke of your name making you jump up from your seat as heeseung followed behind you to enter the doctor’s room.

“(y/n)!” the young doctor said enthusiastically as you sat down on the chair in front of the desk.

“doctor park!” you answered, cadence matched hers.

“how have you- oh.” dr. park looks at the man entering behind you, looking between the three women in the room and the empty chair near the door before he hears her speak, “is this the dad?”

“yes, i’m the dad, lee heeseung,” he replied steadily as dr. park, who is standing up, shoots her hand out to him.

“i’m dr. park jihyo, (y/n)’s ob-gyn doctor. didn’t expect to meet you as (y/n) said that the dad might not be involved.”

heeseung’s eyebrows were raised, chortling as he realized what you implied, “after she told me, i decided to be involved.” his eyes peek from the side to see you giving a stare with no movements on your lips, sitting down on the chair beside of yours as you want to continue with your appointment.

“well, welcome to your tenth week of being pregnant. how are you feeling?” dr. park asks, looking at you with a warm smile as you see the nurse taking care of your document.

“the morning sickness kinda gets pretty worse and overflows out of the morning. definitely more sensitive towards scent, flavor, and texture. i also have already sensed growth on the bump since it is a bit more protruding than usual.” your hand unconsciously caresses the hoodie covered in your stomach, feeling the tenderness of the skin that is just muscles of your abdomen being pushed to cater to the baby.

“your stomach and intestines are being pushed by the uterus as the fetus grows and it’s very normal. since we already did the blood and urine test and went over your family history back in your first appointment, we can go to an ultrasound to check the growth of your baby.” dr. park replied as she nodded at the nurse who instantly walked to the bed and set things up for your scan.

“i’m sorry to bother you, doctor. but i have a question.”

your head shifts towards heeseung as he asks, the doctor just giving him a nod.

“(y/n) said to me she’ll get a plan b pill after our… time. yet, she still got pregnant, but isn’t that still supposed to work?” the way his voice pitches makes you hold on to a smile, recalling to when you asked the doctor the same question in your first appointment. you gave the doctor a big nod for her signal.

“well, (y/n) said to me she consumed a plan b pill less than 24 hours after your intercourse. but plan b pill, or levonorgestrel, works by delaying the release of the egg from the ovaries. she also said that her period, which started around a week or two weeks before she discovered she was positive, was late. so, we can assume that while you two have sex, (y/n) was already in her early stages of ovulation with the egg being released into the fallopian tube and the egg got fertilized.”

heeseung nods along with the doctor’s words as you remember the same explanation given to you in the previous meeting. you’ve tried using pills before but you know it will affect your hormone and physical health in the long run—you are not a serial fucker unlike a few people you recognize—so you rely on protection like condoms and morning-after pills right after that. heeseung not wearing one makes you want to laugh at how funny the scenario is and how you can just remain rivals for the rest of your life if you remind him to put on the rubber.

the nurse calls for as you follow her, stepping out of your shoes as you lay down on the bed. she gently brushes your hoodie up as your skin is exposed while she also pulls the band of your pants down below right above your underwear line. the chairs move as you glance at heeseung following dr. park as she takes the seat beside you to check on the machinery. the liquid is cold as it touches your skin as your eyes catch heeseung who is looking at the exposed stomach where his unborn child is.

as the transducer spread around the gel on the stomach when you feel it pressed down, you looked at the screen across from you hanging on the ceiling as the doctor moved around, marking the size of your uterus. you heard her gasp as you turned to look at her warm smile that widens into a grin.

“congratulations to you both!” she replied as she continued to move the transducer around, making you and heeseung realize that there’s a fetus inside you, but not just one.

“TWINS?!”

2. katana-like knife

heeseung gazes at the ultrasound he is holding with both hands, seeing the way the doctor has assigned twin 1 and twin 2 on the screen. the twins are in different sacs; he remembered what the doctor said, making them fraternal twins. she also says that not only you were ovulating when you two fuck, but you were releasing two different eggs around the same time and he got both of them pregnant.

he recalled both of you doing a hilarious staring contest as you couldn’t stop yourself from making funny faces as the doctor described the growth of your twins. fucking heck, he hadn’t told his friends that he was having twins. how his body trembles as the realization hits him while he’s looking at his babies—yes, plural—makes him even want to be more attentive, to now realize that he had two to take care of. and those two make him know you have to adjust your diet once again.

if it weren’t for him buying ingredients, he doesn’t think you would adapt easily to what the babies need. he’s won on this occasion. but what comes next?

his phone vibrates on the table as he takes a glimpse of the text message showing on the lit-up screen.

(l/n) (y/n): i’m heading home for the weekend. my parents will definitely see that i’ve been knocked up.

even he can see it as he had walked past you before on campus. you’re now wearing more oversized clothing pieces—t-shirts, hoodies, cardigans—as he realized the slight bump on the surface of them. it’s been over two weeks since that check-up appointment and the growth has been faster than he expected.

(l/n) (y/n): not asking you to join me.

(l/n) (y/n): if you aren’t brave enough to take the consequences, i’m fucking winning this :p

“that’s it” he shakes his head as he tugs the ultrasound picture into his wallet before putting it back in its place, hands opening the messages.

lee heeseung: threatening much. i’m in.

if you want to make this a competition, let’s make this a competition.

lee heeseung: hey mom. sorry for texting you randomly. but i’m going back home for the weekend.

all he had to do was wait, as he could hear the sound of his mom talking with your mom on the phone about how their children would be home together, asking to meet up.

and that moment goes exactly as he had expected as he drove the car with you in the passenger seat, leaning against the door as you both let the radio play boring-ass repeating pop songs from some random radio station. none of you seem to react, just to make each other annoyed enough to know who will concede and connect to bluetooth first—even not listening to good-ass music is a competition between you both.

you sighed extra loud as you listened to an old-ass pop song from the mid-2010s the radio seemed to have a lifetime contract for it to play for fucking ever. you wish you were the one driving now, but you didn’t bring your car for this semester because it needed maintenance and you were in a healthier mood for this year. you catch a look at your phone, seeing your mom asking where you are right now as auntie lee has arrived at your home—cooking up the food for all your family to enjoy.

“which one is your car’s bluetooth?” you gave up on hearing the radio station as you playfully checked every menu to find the bluetooth menu.

“the brand of the car, duh,” he answered, still focusing on the highway as you remembered that it’s nearly a few exits away from the side of the town you and he grew up in. he took a glance at the bluetooth speaker as he sees,

“‘mitski’s brainchild personified’? you liked her that much?” he actually snorted, making you see the name on your phone on the screen in the middle of the dashboard.

“shut the fuck up. she’s my comfort musician, just like kaede from slam dunk is your comfort character.” the way your fingers lightly tap against your phone, makes him chuckle as he can hear you holding onto your emotion from not spilling through your words, not commenting on how you mentioned his liking for slam dunk as if you remember it so well, even if it also stuns him.

you’re playing a playlist of yours that is just… instrumentals. a perfect playlist to hear whilst commuting as you let yourself take a breather from this world. eyes gazing to the window outside as you rested your phone on your lap. the scent of heeseung’s cologne accustomed your memories as you let the music speak while you both remained quiet. maybe, because it is an instrumental track that you both couldn’t comment on, that he can’t take a jab at your music taste unless you put on mitski or boygenius, that it gives a soundtrack so vague it resembles the way you perceived your relationship to each. sure, you still hate him for everything he has done to you in the name of winning. but, with two babies on the way, the concept of the rivalry between you both is there yet so blurry. which one is a concrete rivalry? which one is the softer one? why should you trust what he gave to you? why did he join in to take care of them?

the car zooms fast on the highway, yet you can see slower cars on the outside of the highway and faster cars zooming past you on the other lane. it’s like what your dad had said before—"you don’t feel how fast life is until you look at other people’s lives"—and to think that you will be home in overtly large clothing to hide your bump to know that he’s going to be a granddad just concretes the idea of that in your mind. you turn your head to glance at the backseat, seeing the shopping bag you had prepared besides what heeseung also has for his family, who he’ll meet at your house.

stepping out of the car, you stood at the carpool of your house filled with cars—other than yours and your parents inside the garage—when you watched your mom and heeseung’s mom walk out of the porch, barefooted, to greet you. the warmth of your mom’s hug felt so overwhelming that you had to sink your emotions as you blamed your hormones for making you too sensitive.

the interior of the house feels so lively from the last time you went home during the semester break. maybe it’s because of the way your mom has another guest in the form of the lee family and the smell of the delicious you know both of your moms had made together with their aprons still on as they guide you inside. even as they walked to the kitchen, you could hear them whisper.

“since when did (y/n) and heeseung arrive here together and in the same freaking car?” auntie lee asks.

“(y/n) didn’t bring her car this semester so i guess she doesn’t wanna waste any more money for transport.” mama answered.

both of your moms have always tried to make you close and you’ve always tried to tone down your rivalry in front of them, effortlessly acting in front of them as nice friends when you give him a snide look behind their backs any chance you can get. your bickering can escalate so much that you will have a shouting match in the arcade as heeseung doesn’t want to give up his time to play for you, making both of your moms force you to apologize to each other before that bickering returns at school’s classes where they’re not there for you two to mediate. maybe that’s why you don’t perceive heeseung as an enemy. merely a rival; because your mom never talked bad about heeseung no matter what happened between the two of you and it seems that heeseung’s mom has also done the same to him.

the two shopping bags sit on the coffee table as you watch both of your dads talking about dad stuff. heeseung’s attention is on his phone as he’s typing something on the screen while you unconsciously rub your stomach hidden beneath your top, waiting for all of them to settle down around the coffee table as they want to open the shopping bags together.

“what did you bring me?” mama asks in a sing-song manner as heeseung’s mom giggles beside her. you stood beside heeseung with your hands behind you as the husbands looked at the similar-looking gift boxes in each of their wives’ hands.

“don’t tell me. is it the jewelry i showed you those months ago, hee?”

“nah, it’s not. dad’s planning to buy that one for you.”

heeseung’s dad’s face turns into a scowl, seemingly angry as if his son has spoiled his plan while the boy just widens his smile before gazing back at his mom.

“well, together?” mama asked to his mom.

“yeah, 3, 2… 1!”

the box opens as you’re holding your breath, also holding back your smirk as you can view the way papa’s eyebrows crease as he can’t believe what he is saying. heeseung’s mom was the first one to openly express her shock by literally jumping from her seat and box thrown towards his dad’s as he took a good stare at it, making you glance at him you actually won the bidding on who would be shocked first between the two.

“NO, FUCK- WAIT?!” his mom stares between the two of you before your mom jumps from her space to also gaze at you, holding onto the paper. giving him a nudge with your elbow. you didn’t expect him to wrap his arm behind your shoulders.

“yeah… the babies are ours-“

“no fucking way!” your mom actually shouted as she hyperventilates while heeseung’s mom covers her mouth, contemplating on what to do when she felt her body being squished by her best friend, hugging her tight as they turn to hug each other while heeseung’s dad gives his box to your dad so he could see it clearly.

“since when are you two together?” papa asked as you tried to let heeseung’s grip from your shoulder.

“uncle, we aren’t together. we just hook up and-“

“WE’RE GOING TO BE IN-LAWS.” you can hear mama cheer as both of the women twirl around the small space, making you feel even more guilty for breaking the immersion as you stop budging away from heeseung’s hold. rolling your eyes, you stare at heeseung and lean in close to his ear, whispering.

“bad fucking idea…”

“at least they’re happy, right? well, i won because of that.”

mama interrupts both of you as she gives you both an enormous hug while heeseung’s mom comes from behind. you could see the tears coming out of mama’s eyes who rested her head against your shoulder.

“ughh, too tight.”

“stop it, honey! (y/n) looks so uncomfortable.” papa reminded.

“oops, sorry!” your mom lets go of her hold as heeseung’s mom slotted between the two of you as she pushes in on the excess fabric of your clothes, making you grip both sides of your top and pull it backward so she can see your bump already showing.

“hi, baby!”

“it’s babies.” heeseung’s dad cuts in as his wife follows with, “there’s two of them?”

“i swear to god.” heeseung’s old man brushes his face, unbelievable that his wife didn’t see the two sacs from the ultrasound as you give your mom a nod, her hands carefully holding onto your waist.

“fraternal twins,” you confirmed to her as you watched another batch of fresh tears coming out of her eyes.

“hello, you two. you’re going to have the best mom ever.”

“and dad too.” heeseung’s mom replied as she moved to stand in front of you two, seeing his grown son seemingly glowing as she spoke of him being the best dad to his two unborn children.

“okay. i gotta have to make the red meat well done then.” mama cuts out as she hastily moves to the kitchen to cook back her meat-based meal, letting auntie lee replace her place as she caresses the bump gently.

“how long has it been?” she asked as you opened your mouth to reply.

“we did the ultrasound two weeks ago. so it’s week 12 now.” heeseung cuts you off as she gazes back at her son.

“what have you two already prepared?”

“we gave a letter to the university for future parents and they agreed to let me take online classes entering 5 months because i only have three classes, one is that's doing a study case, and they let heeseung have parental leave if i give birth. i haven’t found the right doula yet but my supervisor at the daycare has a connection to one and i think it will be her. she has given me the number so i just have to text her,” you answered.

“is it near campus?” she replied.

“yeah, because i don’t want to graduate late. that’s why i decided to stay near campus during it.” you have thoughts on if you should just take a break this semester to focus on your pregnancy or not multiple times by now. but, of course, the rivalry comes back as you still want to keep pace with heeseung and your friends who will be graduating next semester.

“you should take a semester leave, (y/n).” heeseung cuts off your thought as you peek at him.

“i’ve already got what i wanted from the uni and it’s fine, heeseung. i can keep up.”

“well, you can, but what if you don’t take care of the babies?”

“of course, i can take care of the babies-“

“not by being stressed over college.”

“heeseung-“ you turn your body towards him as you grip both of his upper arms, firm hands holding him as you stare down at him. “i know what’s best for me. i know what my limits are. i’ve trusted you enough with the food but you should also trust me to know how to take care of myself outside of nutrition.”

your teeth are grinding against each other as your fiery gaze stays on him, even as you let go of the grip. it stays for a few more seconds as you turn back to head to the dads who seem to be forgotten by the sofa, seeing papa teary-eyed as he hugs and kisses your head before you let heeseung’s dad hug you.

his mom turns towards him, cupping his cheek. “she knows what she’s doing, heeseung.”

“but how should i know it’s right? cause that’s not right for me. my friend’s mom said that a pregnant woman should focus on preparing herself for her birth and doing college doesn’t seem to prepare her for that.” heeseung sighed as he looked at his mom, not expecting a slight hurt on her face.

“i was still doing my job when i was pregnant with you, heeseung. your dad trusted me for that cause he knows my limits, might be even more than i do. let her be and you might learn that she knows how to take care of herself, too.” her hand brushed away the fringe on his forehead, eyes glistening as she let out a small warm smile at him. the hurt falling away as heeseung sees her mom’s signature smile of knowing before she brought him in his arms, hugging him tight as he glances at you who is giving him a small look with a tight-lip smile before you turn away to the dining room.

heeseung stares at the glow-in-the-dark stars sticking on the ceiling. his back being stretched out on the floor as he laid on the comforter beside the single bed where you’re still playing with your phone. he remembered how he begged—trying to persuade—his parents to bring him home with them. but knowing that he’ll only be staying for one night and you two are “together”, they decide for him to stay with you instead. you can see how his fuming breath was held as you glanced at him with an unidentifiable look at the dining table, his parents believing you would let him stay in your bed.

but he insists on lying down on the floor, knowing the history between the two of you they don’t know, as you silently agree.

printed pictures still hang on one side of the room when he looks at them as long as the bedside lamp is still on. he remains silent, eyes tired from looking at his phone so much to distract him from his reality when he hears the rummaging movement on the mattress as you put the phone on the table.

“well, night, heeseung.” the click of the lamp is big in the white-noised room as darkness envelops the space, letting in the moon and streetlights outside beam their shine inside. your eyes easily adjust to the surroundings as you puff your one-less pillows on the bed to find the right position—knowing the ache of sleeping in the wrong position when you are carrying two fetuses inside you.

“since when did you work in a daycare?”

the man’s words overcome your action as you brush the cover of the pillow.

“why do you wanna know?” you put the pillows in the right position as you lay your head and back against it.

“since your mom proclaimed that you’ll be the mom ever.”

heeseung is reminded of the way you look when your mom says that, a look of pride coming out of your eyes as you unconsciously nod knowingly. even if you and him are close by proximity—by being your moms’ children, by being schoolmates, by having roommates who stay in proximity with each other—there’s still something that you don’t know about each other. because if the opposites know, they can use it as leverage to bring any of the two down.

“had a few babysitting gigs during high school days. i started to like it more and decided when i go to hybe, i’ve volunteered for a non-formal school for children and more. i decided to do a part-time job at a daycare and yeah…” you replied, laying down by your side as if you could see heeseung beside you when he is, in fact, below you.

“it doesn’t match with your major though.” heeseung gives a snide comment as you sigh loudly.

“so what if a business major can’t connect with my passion for childcare- fuck me.” you stopped to remind yourself to stop taking the bait from heeseung because you know he was making these comments to break your confidence within yourself. you could discuss how making and taking care of a business could resemble making and taking care of a child, but with the way he had pissed you off today in more ways than one, you rather stick that thought to yourself and instead, take offense towards him.

“why did you wrap your arm around my shoulders?”

heeseung glances towards the bed, seeing your silhouette on the top forming a dark shadow because of your comforter shielding it.

“i had to. so they know the babies are ours,” he replied with the thought that first came to mind after he already had his arm behind you—blaming his underlying consciousness for doing that.

“and it makes them believe we’re together when we’re not. look at us now.” both of your arms stretch out of the comforter to tell him just how big the situation you got yourself into cause how many white lies must you tell your parents to hide that this is because of a hookup, not because you are romantically linked?

your staggered giggles drop as you try to glance downwards at him, the arm nearest to the floor left hanging as heeseung didn’t comment on what you said. “well, this just got more complicated.”

“our situation is complicated since the start, (y/n).”

“well, i know who to blame for making our strings get more tangled with our parents cause fuck you, heeseung.”

he saw the lone middle finger standing tall from the silhouette of your figure before you picked yourself up and lay all your weight on the bed, turning the other side as heeseung followed; both of you staring at the opposites of the room, knowing that your bodies needed to rest so you can face each other again in the morning.

the time between that night and how you both lived after you went back to your own places near campus was a week when you texted him about the doula that you had told at your parent’s home. the car was left in neutral with the handbrake lifted as heeseung waited at the daycare where you work. his eyes gaze at the differing modes of transport each guardian is picking up the kids with before looking at the lobby as he sees you and another attendant saying goodbyes to the kids. he watches as a few of them hug you and even a few let their cheek rested against your growing bump before you take a glance forward at them who is going back to be with their parents, noticing his car for a few seconds before you return inside to take your items.

the backpack is hanging off your shoulders as you take another sliced fried potato from the container when you enter the passenger’s seat beside his driver’s one, resting your back against the seat with your bag there to support you. “hello! i’ve sent you the address, right?”

he stares at you with his squinting eyes, “you should not eat that.”

“it’s cravings, heeseung. it’s totally normal. the doula can count me on that.” you chew another fry as heeseung lets out a mumble under his breath as he moves the handbrake and puts the gear to drive, reeling the car forward as he drives you to the doula’s office. both of your moms have suggested several doulas for you to choose from, but you reminded them you’re having twins. so having a doula who specializes in taking care of moms birthing multiples will be helpful as it is also your first time.

playfully, you fly a french fry like an airplane towards heeseung as he drives, like the usual time you try to feed kids at the daycare. it nudges against his lips a few times before he bit it, pulling it off your fingers; making you let out a chuckle cause he can’t even resist it himself.

the parking lot was pretty barren as you only saw a few vehicles when you both walked out of the cars. you adjust the backpack once again on your back as the chime from the car tells you it is now locked as you enter the office building.

thanking the receptionist, you and he stood in front of the doula’s office as you knocked the door.

the door opens as a soft-spoken woman says from the inside, “miss (l/n)(y/n)?”

“yes, i am.”

“oh, come in. come in.” the door widened as heeseung could see the things inside the large office room. a desk in one corner and a cabinet stood behind it. accolades and certifications by the desk with a sofa on the corner beside the door. a box of what seems to be baby toys beside the sofa as posters are hanging on the wall. from the anatomical look of a baby inside their mom’s uterus to words of encouragement towards mothers.

“i’m haseul. nice to meet you.” the woman shook your hand as she then glanced at heeseung who was still wandering around.

“oh, uh, this is heeseung, the babies’ daddy.” you refer to his name as he looks at the lady, shaking her hand as she looks between the two of you.

“so, both of you aren’t married or dating-“

“no, we’re childhood friends and hooked up, and this happened.” heeseung blurts out as you raised your eyebrows, poking your tongue in the cheek. haseul nodded her head as she let both of you sit down in front of the desk.

“first, congratulations on the twins. you must be nervous to find that out.”

“of course, especially as a first-time mom. but, i’m feeling pretty okay.”

“that’s good, i’ve also sent you the questionnaire for you to fill on your plan for giving birth…” haseul’s voice traces out as heeseung glances at the portrait frame of her holding onto a baby with a mom, a glance at the book about post-partum, and a baby doll on top of the cabinet right in front of a corner window. he could only catch onto some words he recognized from jeongin telling him—birth, dilation, cramps, anesthesia, cesarean—as he sensed himself getting overwhelmed, especially when he had the second preliminary match in two days and his gig in being the documentation for a baseball match for hybe uni too.

his thumbs caressed his fingertips as he sensed the sweat forming on his palm, the same feeling he has every time he has to go to match. to then realize just how ready you seem by how eloquently you say the words for your requests to the doula like you’ve grown up much more than he is even though both of you are the same age. sure, he felt the leverage the first time when he sent you food and a few tips he makes beomgyu do; but his knowledge couldn’t compete with yours and it scares him to know he is losing his stance from above you. to know that you’re much more ready than him.

“heeseung…” he heard someone calling for him, before something wrapped around his wrist, taken aback to see you brought him back to the room he was in.

“sorry… what did you say?” heeseung replied as haseul gave him a warm smile.

“i’ve heard from (y/n) that you have known some knowledge of pregnancies but i could give you some sources to read because it is your first time as a dad as well.” the woman said to him calmly, looking at heeseung as if she can read his body language. your hold on his wrist stays as you rub the inside of his wrist with your thumb. “we have also discussed that (y/n) will try the normal route with water birth and if she can’t handle it, she’ll be going with cesarean. we could also do an appointment every two weeks as both of you are students now, but it is best if you come so you can understand each process as she is entering the second trimester.”

“i understand. i’ll try my best to set my schedule so i can join her.” heeseung glanced at you, who was giving a nod before you let go of your hold as he seemed to be anchored back in the room. the woman gives a small smile as she starts a lecture on the process of pregnancy, childhood, and parenthood. another class that heeseung doesn’t want to get in the first place, but knowing his determination to be the best dad ever—as what his mom believes him to be—he follows along with writing notes in his book as you have with your laptop. the class that he has to pass so he can take care of his children as best as he can.

even with the music booming from around his space, heeseung still felt like something was different. his eyes rested on the plastic-colored cup filled with a concoction of alcohol he didn’t know—he could taste the gin and what seemed to be fanta in it. the sigma mu’s frat house lits up in motion as he eyes the way the expensive big-ass speakers are scattered around the room, gazing at the familiar faces of his peers and juniors he has seen while walking around campus.

something stirs within him as he eyes his friends who are here—beomgyu who is by the speaker as he talks with the dj, jimin with his dance crew friends, jeongin with his class friend, while heeseung sits with sunoo and sunghoon on either side of him. that’s when he caught onto the silhouette of some familiar faces every time he comes across a certain person; every time he comes across you.

“excuse me, gang.” heeseung would like to thank himself for being able to stand up so stable even with the nearly empty cup, excusing himself from his basketball teammates to walk towards the frat boys of sigma mu to find the vp and his girlfriend by his side.

“winter…” he calls with the nickname he heard you and others call her before as said girl turns towards him with her boyfriend’s arm still behind the sofa.

“lee heeseung.” she spoke out with a grin on her face, “what makes you come in front of us?”

“i was wondering,” ‘fuck it’ heeseung drinks up the whole liquid that remains inside the cup, hoping that his alcohol tolerance still be able to support him to be stable, “has (y/n) ever talked to you about a doula check-up or some other thing?”

“she should’ve told me if there’s gonna be a checkup but i don’t think there is one nearest from now.” minjeong replies as she lets sungchan take care of her drink so she can comfortably talk to the boy in front of them.

“ah, really?”

“yeah!” minjeong replied before giving another smile. that’s when someone crashes to wrap their arms around minjeong and sungchan, making the two jump as they turn to see ryujin’s head between both of them before giving minjeong a peck on the temple.

“hey, (y/n)’s baby daddy. whatchu up to?”

heeseung chuckles as he looks between the two girls—”no wonder you have them as your friends, all of them are similar after all”—before he opens his mouth.

“just checking what’s (y/n) up to-“

“well, she’s not here. for your information.” ryujin lets out a smirk, “you must really wanna talk to her about something.”

“a doula appointment.” sungchan replied, “and you know how (y/n) is about…” the boy glances at, “him.”

heeseung’s teeth grit against each other as he senses they are hiding something from him. maybe because of your doing so you can prove to everyone that he isn’t as committed to his children as he spoke about.

“you and minjeong aren’t home, so i presume (y/n) is with chaer-“

“someone’s calling my name?”

heeseung sighs as he turns towards the voice of chaeryeong who is holding two cups of drinks as she gives one to ryujin.

“he’s asking about (y/n).” minjeong nods toward chaeryeong when she lets out a small ah before turning her head to stare at heeseung.

“since chan here invited all four of us at the frat party, she really wanted to be here but, of course, cause she’s preggo with YOUR children, she couldn’t. but all of us went out of the apartment together and she was holding a duffle bag of some sort.”

“where is she going?” heeseung doesn’t hesitate to ask, making your three friends look at each other and giggle.

“you seem desperate enough. she’s at the park near our apartment complex. she complained about needing a light workout because of how much her back is hurting.” ryujin said as heeseung could picture the park, knowing where you lived because he had picked you up for your trip back home for the weekend.

“okay, thanks all of you.” heeseung places the cup on the table beside the sofa where minjeong sits and turns away, letting the sense of fresh air flowing inside the frat house guide him to the nearest exit as he arrived on the pavement, feeling the stuffiness inside him getting lighter as he gave a text in his group chat he’ll be leaving early.

the walk there was pleasant, to say the least, because the suburban town the campus is in is pretty sparse compared to the city where heeseung and you live. there is enough place for it to be called a big town but not enough skyscrapers to be called a metropolis. and with the inconsiderable amount of apartment complexes available near campus, he already pinpointed the park where you might be.

crossing the black-and-white stripes, he arrived at one of the entrances of the park where he still could see a few people doing their activities inside—night jogging, playing chess under the streetlights, and a couple who was on a date. he was reminded of what ryujin said about how you might need exercise, but the duffle bag says to him you might stay in one place rather than walking around the park as the main event of your exercise time.

heeseung’s feet instantly brought him to the place that he had gone before in this park as it is the same park near where sunghoon, jay, and jake live—maybe they live in the same complex as you do—when he finds the silhouette lightly jog behind the trees from the path he is on. the sound of rubber meeting the concrete slaps across the night’s atmosphere as he sees you in the middle of the basketball court, wearing a sweatshirt where he could see the bump pushing against the fabric. the basketball bouncing between your palm and the ground creates the familiar sound as you jog toward the ring and shoot your shot. the ball hits the backboard enough that it bounces into the basket.

“fuck yes…” you exclaimed as you grabbed the bouncing ball into your hand, heaving as you brushed the sweat of your skin right underneath the spotlight shining on the court.

that’s when you pick up the scraping on the concrete and clap when you turn around to look at the last person you want to see tonight.

“you still got it,” heeseung commented, making you scoff as you took a few steps back so you stood adjacent to the free throw circle. holding up the basketball between your hands as you tried to remember the position before pushing towards the ring. the basketball curves as it hits the edge of the box instead.

“dammit!”

“you spun your ball,” heeseung replies as the ball flies into his arm, naturally guiding it into a dribble as he walks towards you.

“i didn’t.”

“your wrist was twisted and it makes your hand doesn’t flop straight towards the ring.” he walks towards your side as he shows you the way to hold it, making you glance at the arm muscles that form from holding the ball so much as he throws the ball, creating a perfect arch that it bounces on the back of the rim before it flies and the basket catches its fall. your body immediately reaches for it before heeseung can as you return to your spot whilst dribbling alternating between left and right.

“i know.” you lightly roll your eyes as you grab onto the basketball once again, wiping your sweat palm against your sweatshirt before you feel the right grip as you return to your position, reminding yourself to let the ball fly and not twist your ball before you threw it.

you heard a click of the tongue as you saw a pair of hands reaching to hold yours, making your hand move to the position as you picked up heeseung’s breath beside your ear. startled, your shoulder nudges against his chest as you hear a small “ack” before you throw the basketball, seeing it twirl in the air. you can hear heeseung saying “i told you so.” before it bounces against the backboard, but you are ready as you stride towards it to grab the ball before heeseung catches it and you quickly do a layup, gliding the ball as it bounces right at the small box above the rim as it bounces inside. you turn your body to face him, head tilted with a smug smile as the ball bounces before it rolls to heeseung’s feet.

but the smile falls as you see heeseung who is in his element, walking back to the three-point line and shooting his shot as the ball, once again, creates a perfect arc. the basket catches it into its net as heeseung walks towards the center of the court with a wide grin on his face. the ball bounces near you as you hold it and dribble once more, glancing at it, the court, and heeseung once again as you shake your head, scolding yourself to take things slow for your and your babies’ sake. the sudden epiphany makes your eyelids flutter as you dribble away at a steady walking pace around the court.

your footsteps are met with another as heeseung’s legs stride towards you, a smirk on his face showing as he replies, “that’s why you were put in the point guard position.”

“hmm…” your reply is small as you continue to dribble away the basketball, making you and he walk around the court together before he cuts through the silence.

“why did you stop playing basketball in high school?”

your body stood still as you let your muscle memory do your job of dribbling the ball, shifting your head towards his even if you look away.

“you were, well, it seems to be still are, good at it,” he added.

the memories of your first year in high school from the extracurricular showcase come back as you are already determined to stop playing basketball, focusing on doing something else that you were interested in.

“i got tired of it,” you replied, but heeseung seemed to notice that it was not all the truth.

“and…”

the ball stops bouncing as you hold it against you, wrapping your arm across your front along with the ball as you glare at him and reply, “you.”

“me?”

“yeah, you. i stopped playing because of you.” you turn around and set your eyes on the bench where your bag is. your water bottle calling for you so you can hydrate yourself as you give in.

“really, huh? wow, that was another victory i didn’t expect-“

“fucking hell, heeseung. that’s why- this-“ you gulped down your saliva, “what you become because of it is why i stop. i know our moms are outstanding basketball players at their time and we’ve gotten the signal to be like them but-“ you hold back as you throw the bottle inside the bag, holding yourself down as your hands form fists.

basketball has always been a large part of your life before you were even born. your mom and heeseung’s met because of their love of basketball as they became skilled players together. your mom and dad meet up because of basketball. you still remember the amount of pictures of your parents in their high school days in their basketball jerseys in the photo albums. even if they don’t pursue it professionally, it still becomes a large part of their life as it also spills onto you.

with the amount of time you have interacted with children—as it makes you see your own experience as a child in a different view—many of them like to mimic what their parents do before they form their own sense of self. you can see it with the way one child at the daycare is always playing doctor with dolls, figures, and plushies because one of their parents is a doctor. you were like that. you’ve heard and seen just how impactful basketball is to your mom that you want to be just like her, making you join the teams during your elementary and middle schools.

to see and feel the influence of your rival during practice and tournaments around you was overwhelming.

the tug-of-war between the basketball in between both of your hands is just the beginning of what kinds of rivalry you and him have during practice. even if your coaches assigned you to the same team, you or he, depending on who is first, will reach out to the coach to be put into the other team. even if you two had to practice together, hidden aggression is flying to the roof, which includes passing the ball so hard that it had even made your nose bleed. as time goes on and the many matches you and he have to compete in as you two have to watch each other to “encourage” each other’s team, you had notice the way you fell out of love of basketball because of how there are more bad memories associated with it even if you were being trusted as a captain for one season and scoring many buzzer beaters to let your team and school win the tournament.

“you’ve become so much better with it as i lost interest. i still remember when the coach brought me to the nurse’s office cause you passed the ball so hard that it hit my face. in the middle of practice for the last season in middle school, that’s when i knew…” you take steps closer as you now stand in front of him.

“i knew i’m in a losing battle against you.”

your muscles twitched as you wanted to let out a smirk when you noticed the hidden expression heeseung failed to hide, the little shock he had gotten to show. yet, the emotion that is enveloping you held it down, as you now had to tell him the truth. why your rivalry seemed to expand outside of the scope that both of you are in.

“that’s why i quit basketball. that’s why i decide to pursue my own path even with you tailing behind me to comment on my every move. because i am sick of you. yet, i held back. i had to retaliate, just like what i did on that fucking playground when we were 5. cause i’m not afraid of you even though i know i’ll lost in the end.” you chew the inside of your cheeks as heeseung seems to read your face while letting his brain figure out what you meant.

“that’s why i wanted a fucking truce.”

with the way your facial muscles contort, it hurts you more and more as you feel the tears of pain forming, harboring the feelings you have felt for nearly two decades now. with your hand raised, you wiped the small drop of tear as you let out a huge breath, feeling just a bit of the weight in your rivalry falls off—right along with you.

as you let your body sit on the concrete ground, you push yourself back slowly as you settle and lay on it. heeseung’s conflicted face peeking from your vision while you’re trying to blur it out by focusing on the night sky. though the light pollution is still around you, you can still see tiny specks of stars behind the shadow of clouds of the night. stretching your back on the ground as you let your backbone rest after trying to make you stand upright while carrying two growing fetuses.

eyelids close, you let nature take control in calming your emotions and let heeseung process the information himself. the first time you truly open up yourself behind the mask of your persona—maybe when he stays the night in your childhood room is one as you recall your feet resting against his sleeping figure, contemplating if you want to wake him up or not before gazing at the dusting basketball that you decide to bring back to your apartment after papa helps in blowing more air so it doesn’t sag too much.

the sound of rustling leaves seems to be louder as you rest still, hearing a muffled thump beside you as you open your eyes, looking at your feet to then find another pair lying down right beside yours.

“you’re the one that was throwing a fit and ruining my toy truck after i apologized.” you sighed as you took a peek to see heeseung’s head turning towards you, asserting dominance once again before looking back. you knew that if you replied with the same vibe to assert your own dominance, it would actually break you apart faster than the rate that you are now. however, you have one question that will be the right one to ask him about.

“did you mean that?”

“‘mean’ what?”

“the apology? did you mean that? cause i want you to look at it from my eyes, lee.”

heeseung traces back to that memory when he sees you teary-eyed face and his mom beside him, the boys he was playing with snickering on the side as they saw him getting in trouble with his then-friend. the “sorry” mumbled out of him with his eyes on you but mind on the boys, who seemed to not snicker at him, but at you for being a pissy fit. but, deep down, he knew…

“i meant it.” his reply makes you turn your head, mirroring his form as you let out a slight pout.

“with that smile you were giving? hell no-“ you rolled your eyes.

“i genuinely meant it. the boys that were there, they were behind you and they were laughing at us. i had to juggle facing you and them. i had to look fierce yet still can give you an apology. maybe that’s why you see the smirk that you see. i was a fucking child, (y/n). we’re not as good as we are not in hiding complicated emotions to only let out one.”

your chest rises and falls as you see the apology smirk in a different light. you don’t know if you should easily believe that or not, but after taking it into consideration, you could feel a small part of your inner child healing up before you realize the damage that you also have done to him.

“if it is genuine; i’m sorry, then. about the truck. you know how i felt now and why i did that.” you return to look at the sky once again as you hear the rustle beside you before peeking at heeseung who is also staring into the night, listening to him humming before you return to gaze back again.

“what would happen if i actually have the emotional intelligence to know that you were sincere that day?” your words cut off the silence as you felt the guilt pouring for it to be transformed into humor that was reciprocated well by heeseung’s chuckles.

“well, we wouldn’t have these two.” he playfully poked your belly, making you let out a small shriek before holding onto his wrist as you held his hand down between the two of you and you pivoted your head to see him.

“in all seriousness, i think we might have been the friends our moms see us to be because let me tell you, they see us differently than what we are having.” his words are replied with a hum as you added,

“i notice that too. glad we can be more civil in front of them.”

“we still could, you know.”

with the way you didn’t hold on to his wrist tightly, you felt the limb moving under your touch before his palm rested underneath your own. the wind blows against your sweaty top as it gives you shivers from the cold, hoping that your own temperature and a lifeline can help warm it up. and you can feel it warmer as you see heeseung pivot to mirror you. his fingers slid between yours as if he knew the little shivered breath you led out.

“have each other’s backs. emulate what they want.”

your eyes are galloping to the way the spotlight shines half of his as the other one is cast in shadows from facing the concrete. you could smell a faint scent of alcohol on him but with the life in his eyes, you knew he wasn’t drunk. the way his eyes are also peering with slight twitches as before connecting with your gaze.

pushing one side of your upper body, you cup onto heeseung’s cheek as he leans up to connect your lips. your shoulder is pushing down against the ground as heeseung’s grip on your hand tightens, making it steady as you can hear his muffled hum from your kiss. your fingers curl to hold yourself up better before you feel his other hand reach for your waist and push you down so you both lay on the side.

both of you take turns to take a breath as you sense the tip of his nose brushing against yours. every time you let out a breath, the other’s lips linger before connecting once. your legs curled as you felt the ticklish sensation surging through your nerves before heeseung pushed your lower back so it could stay for one last long kiss before he pulled away. your noses touch each other as you feel his hand on your waist trails to your bump, pressing it down gently as you lean back to see him looking down at the body he is holding. then, his eyes flick back to you as he can sense you slip away, turning yourself away from him as you push yourself up with your arms.

grabbing the lone basketball and putting it in the duffle bag, you zip it up and shift to find heeseung now upright, yet still with his legs stretched out on the ground.

“baby steps, heeseung.” you pull away before giving a small salute.

“baby steps.”

your voice echoes as heeseung watches you walk away, biting his bottom lip before a chuckle falls out of him as he knows he had to text you back his question about the appointment, knowing that you will reply to him.

beomgyu breathed out as the elevator opened up to the now familiar hallway, holding onto the box that he had still had to bring even if heeseung already told him he’ll do the next one himself because of what he told him. the box held fresh ingredients that jeongin also pinpoint—courtesy of his doctor mom—on what you should eat, considering now that there are two of them inside you. beomgyu couldn’t help but feel melancholic knowing that this was the last time he’d probably visit your apartment complex as… well…

but, other than bringing you today’s box, beomgyu is here to pick you up for the doula appointment as heeseung will follow suit after practice. even his bandmates are weirded out as to why he has to do the errands, but knowing that they’re in the process of rest mode whilst preparing to create new music and focusing on academics, he allows it, especially with how long he has been best friends with the guy.

he huffs as he positions the box again against his upper body, sliding his pointer finger to the bell as he picks up the familiar bell sounding in the room. but it seems like there’s no one inside. he’s glad that he remembers the pin ryujin has given him as he pushes inside the door to see the clean empty living room of the apartment he has been in countless times when he had to put the box in himself. pushing off his shoes, he walks to the kitchen and places the box on the island counter before rushing towards the intercom to turn off the bell.

that’s when he heard the noise of something familiar.

a guitar strumming sound of chords and the changes he recognized.

beomgyu took tiny steps towards one of the ajar doors in the hallway as the realization of the familiar sound widened his eyes. of course it was familiar to him, it was his song.

the nearly acoustic rendition of “skipping stones” with a familiar voice he had heard makes him peek through the door to find you sitting cross-legged on your bed, holding a nearly all-white guitar as you strum while having headphones on your head, singing the daylights out as your window lets the stream of lights in through the window. he lets you sing as he can see you glow—jeongin had mentioned to him that pregnant women have this whole glow on them. maybe that’s what he was seeing in you. the way your fingers glide against the fretboard with your eyes on it or close as you sing the lyrics makes beomgyu mesmerized.

the last ring of strings strummed is heard from your rumble speaker when you notice clapping from outside of your headphones, making you look up to find beomgyu behind your slightly open door. his clapping turns to hollering as lets out a wide thin smile before looking away; you don’t want him to see you flustered. that is when you realize why you’re here.

“oh fuck, the doula appointment.”

“yeah!” beomgyu replies outside as you quickly tidy the guitar up into your case and you step into your wardrobe to grab some more clothes that are much more appropriate for your appointment.

“sorry, about that. beom.”

“nah, no worries. i can wait.”

“thanks!” you close the door as you quickly change your clothes, deciding for a flowy blouse with a rubber-banded culotte, needing to remind yourself to buy maternity clothes because you are slowly running out of clothes that fit you. you wore a bit of sunscreen as you got a message from mama telling you to embrace the pregnancy glow your friends seemed to notice is exuding out of you as you’re in the second trimester. wearing the eau du toilette that doesn’t make you as dizzy—unlike perfume—you open the door to see beomgyu leaning against the wall where it hangs a frame of you and your roommates in photo booths.

“you ready?” he held his hand out as you nodded, you put your hands out before beomgyu grabbed the strap of the bag from your hold, startling you before you returned to your usual state. if your face isn’t warm enough, it’s now warmer from the embarrassment.

the walk down to his car is silent as he helps with buckling the seatbelt to the side. seeing how much your stomach is rested underneath the strap makes him giggle as you recognize the smell of pot from beomgyu’s very appropriate old sedan car.

“hopefully you aren’t high while driving me.” you give a cheeky grin.

“of course not. heeseung will actually kill me if he finds that i dui with you.”

beomgyu twists the key of the ignition as the car turns on—yes, that’s how old his car is—as the sound of a loud rock song plays from the rock fm you recognized. his hand reaches for the button as you react,

“no need. i’m okay with it.”

he hums as he reaches for the volume to turn the sound down, not letting the rattling of the sound in the interior startle you as he pulls the car out of the parking space and into the road.

“can you check the quickest route to the office?” beomgyu said as he brushed his wolf-cut hair.

“of course.” you lean back against the leather seat as you open the map app on your phone, telling beomgyu the roads to the doula’s office. the song has changed to a familiar song by tom petty playing as you notice how beomgyu glances at you.

“what?” you called out with a few chuckles.

“i didn’t expect you to like my song, well txt’s song.” his reply is met with your own giggle as you lean back.

“even if i hate heeseung. that doesn’t mean i have to hate his friends, you know?”

your eyebrow is raised as he gives another quick look before focusing on the road, “if you don’t believe me, i’ve been a fan of band your band since, like, sophomore year when you formed.”

“why? i really wanna hear from a fan's perspective.”

your giggle warms his heart as you answered, “i just relate to it, ya hear? a band that talks about the hardships of finding oneself and the struggle of growing but in a more intelligible way other, especially ‘skipping stones’ from your newest album.”

both of beomgyu’s hands are on the steering wheel as you feel the brake of the car before turning to the curb of where the office is, parking nearest to the entrance as the car stops and he pulls the hand brake. both of you sitting inside as you waited for heeseung to arrive in a few minutes from the last time he texted you.

“why ‘skipping stones’ specifically?”

“hmm…” you suppressed the grin that is threatening to go out before replying with, “interpreting self-struggle with the idea of skipping stone is… in it of itself, very poignant. to correlate the body of water with your own and the stones you’re throwing as the struggle you’re facing.” you let out a huge sigh, “i don’t know- it’s something i understand, especially if someone else is doing the skipping stone to you, feeling that emotion sinking into you, replacing the water’s place…”

you glanced at beomgyu who was definitely staring at you, his hands on his lap as he let out a solemn smile, agreeing with what you said. you quietly nod and take a sharp intake, trying to find the right words to cut the rising awkwardness between the two of you, “other than that, the freaking dissonance on the harmony is so good. it gives a sense of unbalanced buoyancy as if you’re a leaf floating on the water and the skipping stone makes it unstable. great job on that.”

“thanks!”

“of course.” you nearly slapped yourself for leaning closer to the middle console, but beomgyu seemed to not react as much when you felt a bit of your finger touching his. “can’t wait for the next release. no pressure.”

the corner of beomgyu’s lips rose as he giggled, a boyish grin on his face before his expression changed, “don’t worry, me and the band won’t let the fans down.” he replied as you leaned back, head nodding. that’s when you hear the rumbling of the car right beside yours as you see the appearance of heeseung’s newer model car.

“gotta go. thank you so much for bringing me here,” you said as beomgyu helped pick your bag up from the backseat.

“of course, (y/n). gotta have to thank heeseung for letting me do so, but hey…” you felt his hand reaching and now touching your wrist, making you turn your body while nearly opening the door.

“i've known you since high school but we never hang out together cause of heeseung. maybe we could hang out, with your girls and my guys? if heeseung is already melting his ice down then i think that’s okay for us and our friends to hang out. it’s up to you, though.”

you suppress an amused smile as you think about it. thinking about how long have you been crushing on the boy in front of you and how you wanna shake heeseung a thank you for letting him do the errands, maybe even to your noise-canceling headphones that make him notice just how much you like him- no, his band. yeah.

“i’ll think about it. heeseung and i don’t have a formal truce yet but based on what we talked about last time, maybe it could work.”

“sweet-“

you heard a knocking on the door before you turned around to catch heeseung’s silhouette behind the glass window.

“i’ll talk to the girls so we can arrange a time.”

“me too with the guys.”

“okay, bye beomgyu.” the car door unlocks as you nuzzle the door open while hearing beomgyu’s own “bye” from the driver’s seat. heeseung helps to hold the door as you step out.

“thanks for her ride, gyu.”

“don’t mention it, hee. we might even have to ride with her often.” beomgyu said right as the door that heeseung held closed. the engine turns on as the car drives off the parking. you stand right beside heeseung as he looks at you, who still has a lingering smile on your face.

“why are you smiling, (y/n)?”

he lightly nudges your palm with his as you turn your head to him.

“you’ll see, hee.” as you took off towards the office, leaving heeseung once again alone as he then followed you.

part 2

taglist: @raeyunshm @leilasmom @evidive @boba-beom @kwiwin @endzii23 @fluffyywoo @camipendragon @hiqhkey @wccycc @cha0thicpisces @y4wnjunz @yeehawnana @beansworldsstuff @kimipxl @blurryriki @amazzwon @reallysmolrenjun @stelanity @possibly-zoe0218 @enhypenilycometoaus @jaysupremacy @jungwoneez

#k-labels #enhypen imagines #enhypen smut #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung x reader #rsc: laurel hell #cr: heeseung #cs: enhypen #sc: regina

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matryosika · 6 months

Text

Never Have I Ever

Pairing — Chan, Changbin x fem!reader Wordcount — 8,913 words Genre — 18+ Includes — Mentions of body insecurities and past romantic relationships. Struggles with sex and sexuality. Consumption of alcohol (but no sex under the influence). Explicit sexual content, smut warnings under the cut. Author's note — It's been a while since I've post something this lengthy... I have to be honest, I started writing this last year (July 2022) but I felt so unsatisfied with it that I never got to post it. I made some corrections, added some more details and now I'm ready to share it with you! Hope you like it. Please remember to leave a comment, reblog or ask if you liked this. And! This is the yearly reminder that I own a ko-fi. If you wish to support my work further, you can leave me a tip there! The link is on my pinned post. Thank you for reading me.

Smut warnings — Use of pet names (baby and princess). Dirty talk, threesome activities, mutual masturbation, oral sex (m. receiving), double penetration, first time anal, description of pain and crying during sex. Multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, pulling out and facial.

"Never have I ever..." Chan hummed, his right hand swirling the green bottle he had been drinking from for the past minutes, "had sex in a public place".

He looked at you and then at Changbin, his curious gaze wondering how he missed an opportunity to make either of you drink from your alcoholic beverage.

"I haven't had sex in a public place," Changbin mumbled, "but I have done other things".

"You have to drink either way," Chan insisted.

"You said sex," the black-haired complained, "next time try to be more specific".

You sat there in silence with a look of amusement as you witnessed the silly discussion your two best friends were holding.

"There will not be a next time," Chan sighed, leaving his bottle on top of the small coffee table next the shared couch, "at this rate, we are going to be wasted and she will remain sober".

You smiled with victory imprinted on your face, imitating Chan's action and leaving your beverage on top of the table, "we should've betted money on who was the most innocent one among the three of us, I could've ended the night with more bucks than the ones I have on my wallet".

"I can't believe you dated that asshole for 3 years and yet you didn't do anything with him," Changbin murmured with disbelief.

"Do you think I am lying?" You questioned him, tilting your head slightly backwards and resting it on the wall behind.

"I know for a fact you are not," Changbin replied, "that's why I’m impressed".

"Well," you took the bowl of chips that was placed between you and Chan, "sex isn't everything in a relationship."

"You say so because you haven't fucked," Chan scoffed, his characteristic dimples showing as soon as the sound of his laughter escaped his lips.

"We did fuck though".

"You say so because you haven't fucked properly," Changbin corrected his best friend's statement, the choice of words making your skin burn in embarrassment.

"Just because I am not into the kinky stuff you guys like doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the sex with him," you whined, throwing a cushion at Changbin, "plus, why are we making my sexual life a topic of conversation? that's something private".

"It's just amusing," Chan mumbled, taking a sip from the bottle, "you didn't drink from your soju the whole time".

"You guys asked such odd questions," you admitted, "threesomes, sex in public places... how was I supposed to drink when I have no interest in those sorts of things?"

"Alright, alright," Changbin interrupted, both of his arms doing signals for you and chan to be quiet, "we will start small".

You looked at Changbin and then at Chan, unsure of what the twisted game your dark-haired friend was thinking about. Nonetheless, your hand reached out for the bottle of soju and you returned back to your previous position, back against the wall and head tilted slightly backwards.

"Never have I ever given my partner oral sex," Changbin mumbled, both pairs of dark eyes fixed on you as they waited for your final answer.

Placing the tip of the bottle in between your lips, you made sure to drink just a small sip from it. Not being too fond of the taste of alcohol nor the feeling of being drunk, you tried your best to limit your consumption during the evening. Of course, playing this kind of game was rather easy for someone as inexperienced as you were.

"Never have I ever received oral sex," Chan continued the attack, expecting you to hold the bottle again and drink from it.

But, after a few seconds of awkward looks and odd grimaces, he understood that you were not going to take another sip of alcohol.

"Never have I ever tried anal sex," Changbin queried and, again, no response from you. "Well, that one was a bit obvious".

You darted him a killer gaze and he scoffed, looking absolutely unimpressed by your sexual inexperience.

"Never have I ever tried more than 2 different sexual positions with my partner," Chan questioned with a teasing smirk and, for the first time that night, you felt a bit shy at your lack of experience.

It was true that your sexual life wasn't the best, not even with your ex-boyfriend of 3 years, but you wouldn't dare to admit it out loud. For some reason, the thought of having to talk about how much he sucked at those things embarrassed you and, knowing your best friends, they wouldn't be able to forget such a confession.

"No wonder why you broke up with him," Changbin whispered, diverting your attention from Chan's image all the way to his. "Let me guess, missionary and doggy?"

You were not the type to get your cheeks blushed but still, the skin on your face was burning in shame.

"Never have I ever faked an orgasm with my partner," Chan added, capturing your whole attention once again.

You knew Chan and, if you were to take a wild guess, you would say that his countenance changed from amusement to concern. In his face, you could catch a glimpse of almost the same reaction he had when you told him all about your break up and how your boyfriend cheated on you several times before you found out.

Even though his reaction was rather odd to you, you still took a sip of your bottle, "shit".

"This is way worse than I thought," Changbin sighed, stretching his body and placing both of his hands behind his neck.

"Just one more question and I will let this go," Chan hummed, trying to satisfy his curiosity without making you uncomfortable, "alright?"

You nodded with resignation, "shoot".

"Never have I ever had an orgasm with a partner," and, as soon as you heard those words, you couldn't help but fix your gaze at your shoelaces that were a hundred times more interesting than whatever was going on inside the tiny living room of your apartment.

"Damn," Changbin's harsh voice interrupted, breaking the awkward silence that was starting to fall down upon the three of you, "are you serious?"

"Why would I lie to you about these things?" you asked with a high-pitched voice, your mind bringing back the memories of the few times you got to spend with your ex.

To be completely honest with yourself, you couldn't deny how hideous the sex with him was. It was rushed, fast, boring. He was focused on his pleasure rather than yours, lasting for not more than 5 minutes and calling it a day. "I'm exhausted", "I came so hard", "I'm so sleepy" were just a few of the things he used to mumble right after overcoming his high and, as much as you loved him at the time, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed after each session. He made you feel like an object who was only meant to give him pleasure without receiving any and, for the longest time, you thought it was completely normal.

"You never talked to him about these things?" Changbin questioned you, making your heart sink at the realization that he was just as worried as Chan was about the whole situation.

"It is not a big deal guys," you tried to convince them, even when you knew that it was, in fact, a big deal, "luckily we are not together anymore so I can leave those boring experiences in the past".

"Still," Chan's words felt like he was scolding you, "you went down on him several times and he couldn't even do that for you".

"Yeah, well-" you sighed, standing up from your seat and stretching your whole body, "I will make sure to get a better and trustworthy fuck buddy next time, I have learned my lesson".

Chan and Changbin remained silent as you started to pick up the mess from the living room, gathering the empty bottles of soju and the wrappings of the snacks you had been eating that night.

"Why don't you help me clean up?" you queried, looking down on them while they spared complicit glances at each other, "the living room is a mess and I don't have plans on doing chores tomorrow morning".

"Hey," Changbin hummed, still sitting on the floor with both of his palms against the rug, "we uh-"

The way your dark-haired roommate stumbled upon his words made you curious about what he was going to say next.

"We would like to help you out with your other issue," Chan spitted, bluntly. Still sitting on the couch with his legs spread, he lifted up his gaze to meet yours.

"What other-" you started the sentence with a smile on your face but, as soon as you realized what they meant, the smile and fondness was transformed into nervousness and curiosity, "oh".

"Oh," Changbin repeated almost with the same intonation you did.

"Listen, you don't have to agree to this," Chan rushed to say, standing up from the couch almost as the same time his friend did from the floor, "me and Changbin, we have discussed this for a while now but we just- we never knew how to approach you about it".

You looked at the two men standing in front of you, suddenly feeling your knees and legs ten times weaker than before. For a while, how long is a while?

"When you say a while, what do you mean?" you asked him, slowly placing the empty bottles on top of the table again.

"We both thought you were attractive the first time you moved in with us," Changbin explained, clearing up his throat as he watched you take a seat on the couch again, now they were the ones looking down on you. "Of course, at the time you had a boyfriend and everything, it was never really a plan, just a thought".

"A thought?"

Changbin looked at Chan and then diverted his gaze to something else, trying hard to avoid giving more information than he needed to.

"One night we were just talking about how much we both liked you," Chan spoke slowly, trying to find just the right words to portray their twisted and perverted fantasies with you, "how much we wanted to be with you, like that"..

"And you have decided to tell me that right now because…"

"We just saw an opportunity to bring the topic and we took it," Changbin continued without even daring to make eye-contact with you, "we don't really lose anything by asking".

"A threesome, then?" you queried with your pair of eyes fixed on them. It was new how nervous they looked right then and there in front of you, clenching their jaws and avoiding eye contact at all costs.

Both of them nodded.

"I... will think about it," you concluded shyly, expecting them to say something else rather than nodding and continuing on picking up the trash that you had placed on top of the table after hearing such revelation.

Other than agreeing and whispering a series of "okay, yeah's", your roommates didn't say anything else. The tension in the environment changed but, at the same time, it didn't feel awkward or overwhelming. If you had to describe it, you would dare to say it was almost pensive.

"You have work tomorrow?" Chan asked, interrupting the silence that was quick to build up after your last words.

"No, I am taking this weekend off," you replied, carrying the green bottles all the way to your kitchen counter.

"I'll get those," Changbin mumbled, picking up the bottles that you had left behind because you could only carry that much.

You didn't want to give them the wrong impression, one where you felt awkwardly uncomfortable at their proposal to the point of not wanting to interact with them in any way, but it was almost impossible to talk when your mind was filled with thoughts.

"Everything alright?" Changbin queried, closing the trash bag and leaving it on the floor right next to the trash can.

"Yeah I just- I'm feeling very tired," you replied, blinking several times before fixing your gaze on him, "it has been a while since I drank".

Liar.

You drank less than half a bottle of soju and all three people in that room knew that.

"You should go to sleep, " the black-haired murmured, not daring to look at you. "We will clean the rest of the living room and continue on working for a bit before going to bed, it's still early".

You unlocked your phone, without having any notion of time, and realized that he was right. You thought it was already midnight but the clock was barely at 10 p.m.

"Thanks," you politely replied, brushing your hands against your denim jeans and standing there for a while before excusing yourself, "goodnight".

As you walked from the kitchen and back to the living room, Changbin's gaze burned on your skin like a fresh cut. He wasn't nervous or uncomfortable, no. He was probably regretful, thinking that the two of them had screwed up an adorable friendship with their best friend just for the sake of wanting to get their dicks wet.

"Goodnight Chan," you mumbled while walking across the living room, Chan's eyes lifting up to meet yours without hesitation.

"Hey," he said, clearing his throat and turning his whole body around to face you, "me and Changbin, we wouldn't want things to get awkward".

"Me neither," you faintly smiled, trying to give him the reassurance he needed in order to understand that you weren't uncomfortable nor scared after their proposal. "I'm alright, don't worry too much about it".

And after he offered you a smile back, you closed your bedroom door right behind you.

Saying you were alright was a lie, especially when your whole body stopped being numb and regained its consciousness. The wetness between your thighs betrayed you once again, just like every other time you were around those two.

"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, closing your eyes and swallowing hard.

Only then, you started to mentally curse yourself. You knew how bad you wanted them, how many nights you spent touching yourself wishing it was one of them making you feel good. You, who even while being in a committed relationship, spent hours and hours daydreaming about any of them bending you over the kitchen counter and fucking you until you couldn't do anything but take them completely.

I will think about it.

There was absolutely nothing to think about and you knew it. What was stopping you then? Trying to act all collected and insightful when, in reality, there was not a single day where you could go without pleasuring yourself to the thought of them.

What is stopping me?

You stood there in silence for a few more minutes until you heard their room's door closing, rushing to grab a towel and a pair of clean clothes before running into the shared bathroom of the apartment. It was safe to say that it had been a long day.

Letting the hot water run and taking every single article of clothing before stepping right into the shower, you asked the same question one more time: what is stopping me?

And, as your eyes found your reflection in the foggy mirror, you understood the answer.

You could dream about them as much as you would like, but the nervousness of being not one but with two new partners scared you to death.

They proposed to you.

The idea was appealing, but the anguish that it represented was too strong to be fought in such a small period of time. You trusted them with your life, you really did, but you also knew them more than anyone else in the whole world. You knew what kind of girls they dated and what kind of things they did. You were nowhere near those qualifications and the fact that they even brought that idea was as flattering as it was confusing.

Either way, the mere thought of knowing they desired you like that made you wonder what kind of perverted ideas they thought about whenever they saw you around. What did they see in you that you failed to appreciate?

Standing in front of their bedroom's door, you breathed three times before finding the courage to knock on it. The clock would strike 12 a.m. and you knew for sure they were still awake. That excited you as much as it scared you.

The door opened before you could knock again, unsure if they had heard the first pair of faint knocks. Just as you had predicted, both of them were still working on some of their projects.

"Everything alright, princess?" Changbin queried, his dark eyes scanning your figure with discretion.

Princess. Changbin called you like that sometimes for as long as you could remember and it never failed to have the desired effect on you.

Wearing a black oversized shirt with nothing underneath but a pair of pink panties, it struck you only then that maybe you had executed your idea wrong. In your mind, you completely missed the part of the small chat before telling them your verdict about the proposal.

"Can I come in?" you asked, his body walking just a few steps back as he opened the door for you.

Chan turned around on his chair, welcoming himself with the sight of your body.

"I thought about it," you murmured shyly, sitting on the edge of Chan's bed before daring to look at the hungry gazes of your best friends, "and I want it".

"Hey," Chan rushed to call out your name, his parted lips inhaling more air than usual, "don't feel pressured to do it, if you decide not to I promise things are still going to be the same".

"I mean it," you assured him, "I just- I have a condition".

The three of you looked at each other for a couple of seconds in silence.

"Go on," Chan spoke, his whole body leaning forward.

“You said you often thought about me in that way".

"We do, yeah," one of them voiced but the two of them nodded, eager to hear the rest of your demand.

"I-" for a short moment, your breath got caught up in your throat and you wondered if the sudden courage and bravery were sponsored by the cheap alcohol or your undeniable arousal, "I want to know what you think about me".

Changbin looked at Chan and then at you, his body language changing drastically from relaxed to tense in a matter of seconds.

"Is that what you really want?" He queried. His voice was as seductive as it was intimidating, his question seeming more like a warning than an invitation.

You simply nodded.

"I know nothing about this," you murmured, the warmth on your skin spreading throughout your body as Chan's and Changbin's gaze fixed on your eyes, "and you two are the most trustworthy men I know".

"So you want us to teach you?" Chan asked with a soft scoff, the lowness of his voice taking you by surprise.

"I just want to understand what is so appealing about sex to other people," you admitted, shrugging your shoulders and tilting your head, "I just want to know how much I have missed".

Chan couldn't help but smile with fondness at your words, the warmth in his chest mixing up with the warmth between his legs. It wasn't just the fact that you trusted them enough to give your body to the two of them —it was the knowledge that, now that you had accepted their plea, they had the opportunity to make you feel like no one before.

Changbin walked up to your figure, the mattress slightly sinking as he took a seat right next to you. Whether it was out of nervousness or pure excitement, you couldn't help but shudder once the fabric of his black shorts brushed against the naked skin of your thighs.

"Don't be afraid," he cooed, his right hand moving upwards to find the left side of your face and turning it towards him, "you trust us, right?”

Your eyes met the curvature of his lips and, while his face approached you softly, you melted into his hands. The way his breath was stupidly close to be felt and his hand burned deliciously against your skin had you letting out a soft sigh before making the desired contact with him.

And it felt just like you had imagined it. Even better, you would dare to say.

Alcohol, a pinch of cherries and faint cigarette smoke were how you would describe his taste. He was gentle, maybe more gentle than you had expected him to be. His tongue dragged across your lips without going any further, teasing you and almost making you beg for more. He wasn't running out of breath but you were, letting out small whines while you tugged at the neck of his black t-shirt.

Only then, he interrupted the kiss by sinking his teeth on your lower lip and softly pulling at them, earning a sweet hiss from you.

"Should I go next?" Chan softly joked as he stood up from his seat, walking towards the available space of bed right next to you and sliding his hand up your naked thigh. Your parted lips found him immediately, but he remained in his position without going in for a kiss. "But first, you have to promise us something."

"Anything," you whispered out of breath, both men smiling proudly at how eager you were to have your way with them.

"If you don't feel comfortable with something, you have to tell us," Chan warned, his eyes glued to the way your lips were inviting him to devour them.

Easy task. You nodded almost automatically, knowing that the odds of wanting them to stop were minimum to zero.

"Contrary to that, if there's something that you want, you will have to beg for it", he cooed, a faint smirk appearing on the corner of his lips as he saw the nervousness in your face, "promise?"

You let out a jittery laugh, feeling your accelerated heartbeats in the deepest parts of your throat, "it's embarrassing".

"It is not," Changbin intervened, his breath caressing the crook of your neck and making your eyes close for a quick second, "we will do anything you ask us to”.

"What do you get from it?" you questioned softly, your mind dizzy from both confusion and arousal.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" Chan asked, tilting his head and brushing your lips with his, completely ignoring your question.

"Yes," you whispered, your heartbeats going at a mile per hour. Chan smiled against your lips without going any further, trying to give you the clue that you were not following one of his rules, "please Chan, kiss me".

Only then you felt his hand wrapping around your wrist, guiding it towards his lap. He soon placed it on top of his hardened bulge without a warning, his hips moving ever so slightly against the palm of your hand. "Do you see what you can cause if you beg nicely for us?" his hoarse voice inquired and you nodded almost automatically, both of your eyes probably opened like plates at his grittiness, “good”.

He then gave you what you were wishing for so long, his plump lips moving against yours at a much slower pace than you had expected from him. It was almost as if he wanted to taste every inch of your lips that were mixed with your own taste and Changbin's.

Unexpectedly, Changbin's hand caressed the skin on your thighs making you tremble against their bodies, Chan's lips drowning one of many pathetic whines that were urging to leave your mouth. Changbin dragged his touch further, lifting the fabric of your oversized t-shirt and finding the pleasant surprise of your pink, laced panties.

"You wore this for us?" he asked against your ear, the sound of his voice and breathing sending shivers down your spine, "you should've thought about it twice because i'm going to rip it off of you”.

Another chill traveled throughout your body and your skin got covered in goosebumps, an action that didn't go unnoticed by the black-haired one. "You get turned on by words easily," he hummed, nibbling at the skin of your neck, "I'll remember that".

Chan broke the kiss to grasp for some air, the eyes that once looked at you with fondness were now completely clouded by nothing but lust.

Changbin continued on kissing and biting your neck, that only contributed to the wet patch between your legs becoming way noticeable as Chan's fingertips threatened to make contact with your underwear, the fear of being exposed making you dwell in embarrassment.

"Now, tell us," Chan requested while his fingers reached for the skin of your inner thighs, "why did you change your mind?"

"I-" you tried to give an answer but Changbin's lips attached to your neck and Chan's touch lingering in between your legs were making the simple task feel ten times harder, "I was curious".

"That’s it?" Changbin asked, dragging his tongue along your skin and making you squirm under him, "I know there's something you are not telling us, princess".

And he was right.

But how were you supposed to tell them that, even long before knowing that they were sexually attracted to you, you fantasized about them every single night?

Even when you were in a relationship.

"I like you two too," you mumbled in between sighs, fearing that Chan's playful smirk meant that he knew exactly what was going on in your perverted mind, "I thought about you as well".

"And what is it that you thought?" Chan questioned, his digits making the desired contact against your clothed core making you part your legs ever so slightly for them, "you can tell us, we know how to keep secrets". Even though the sentence was rather sweet, the hidden meaning behind it increased the tension on your lower abdomen, "after all, we are your best friends, right?".

"I thought about how good you two could make me feel," you whispered, Changbin's figure withdrawing from your neck and fixing your gaze on the masterpieces he had created on it, your skin now decorated with red bruises along it, "I thought about your fingers, often".

Changbin let out a soft laugh, the tip of his digits dragging along your t-shirt and clothed breasts only to end up brushing his thumb against your mouth, "show me how much you have thought about them, then".

With a curious look, you wrapped your lips around his digits without breaking eye contact. You sucked on them slowly, unsure if that was the action he was expecting from you. But, when he let out a soft groan, you understood that you were on the right path.

"Is this what you dreamt about, princess?" he questioned, pushing his fingers deep inside you as you nodded eagerly.

While you were too focused on Changbin's task, you didn't notice how Chan was lifting up your t-shirt to expose more of your thighs and underwear, the wet patch now becoming completely visible for him. He gently caressed your lower abdomen and made its way to your clothed slit, dragging one finger in circular motions and earning a sudden sigh out of you that was repressed by Changbin's digits.

"What was that, baby?" Chan scoffed, impressed by how sensitive you were.

Changbin took his fingers out of your mouth as Chan slid your panties to the side, licking his lips at the sight of how wet you were.

For a moment, you felt shy. Exposed.

You wanted to close your legs and tell them that you didn't think the whole thing through but Chan's voice was what took you out of those intrusive thoughts.

"You are beautiful," he hummed, his heavy breathing ringing into your ears, "so fucking pretty".

You swallowed hard at his compliments, the skin on your whole body heating up in shyness as you got used to your best friends praising you in that way.

Changbin's digits turned your chin to face him, placing his index and middle fingers in front of your lips as a mischievous smile appeared on his face.

"Tell Chan how bad you need him to touch you," he ordered, his eyes fixed on the way your lips parted almost instinctively as he brushed them against your lips.

"Chan-" you tried to speak, but your breath got caught up in your throat too soon, "please-".

"Tell him exactly what you want," the dark-haired spoke again.

Your gaze turned to Chan who was sitting on the opposite side as Changbin, his fingers swirling around the skin of your thighs without actually making contact where you needed him the most.

"Will you touch me, Chan?" you queried, the way your eyes looked at him sending a pinch of electricity to his already hardened erection, "please".

He smiled at your words and, almost immediately, followed your request. Your whole body trembled against them due to the unfamiliar feeling of having someone else other than you touching you like that.

"What else does our princess need?" Changbin cooed, forcing you to face him once again.

"Your fingers," you sighed, trying hard to maintain eye contact as Chan rubbed your clit painfully slowly, "can I please suck on them?".

It was the way you politely asked and not really begged that had them over the edge. It sounded filthier, more humiliating, they would say.

Changbin pushed both of his fingers inside your mouth and, as he pounded them deeper, a loud moan from you that was caught around his digits sent waves of pleasure throughout the whole body.

"Suck them properly," he commanded, admiring how your head acquired a pace of its own as you gag on them, "I’m fucking your pretty pussy with them".

Chan's digits kept on teasing your clit, your hips instinctively moving against them while you tried to intensify the feeling.

"Right there, princess," he cooed, smiling at how your body was more than ready to be fucked, "you are behaving so well".

Changbin's fingers went in deeper, making you gag and drool all over them. Judged by the way he was watching you, you would dare to say that he loved it. He loved how messy you looked, with your innocent gaze fixed on him and your chin completely covered with your own saliva.

"Baby," Chan hummed, leaving kisses on your shoulders and clavicles while he made your way to your ear, "do you think you are ready to take our fingers?"

Pulling away from Changbin's digits you nodded eagerly, the sinful scene of your teary eyes and drooling mouth was enough for the both of them to cum right then and there, completely in love by the ruined image of their beautiful best friend.

"I need them inside me," you whispered, "please fuck them inside me".

Changbin lost no time into guiding his hand all over your wet cunt, the digits that were previously fucking your mouth now grazing against your hole and threatening to force themselves into it.

"Are you always this wet when you think of us?" Chan queried, looking at how his bedsheets were now stained with your own juices.

"I am," you admitted, placing your head on his chest while he held you tight against him, "I am always so wet".

Changbin pushed both of his fingers inside you knowing that, with how wet you were and how good you had lubricated his fingers, the feeling was going to be everything but painful.

"Fuck-" you hissed, moving your hips unexpectedly and feeling that foreign tension on your lower back, "God-".

"Do you want to know a secret?" Chan asked, admiring your face of pure bliss as Changbin's fingers fucked your cunt and his palm rubbed against your swollen clit. You weakly nodded. "We often talked about you, me and him," he sighed, "we wondered how many times you had been walking around the apartment with your underwear drenched or how many times you had touched yourself in your room while we were sleeping".

"She is dripping wet," Changbin hummed, his lips approaching one of your ears, "I bet it would be so easy to just bend her over any surface of the apartment and put our cocks inside her pretty pussy, don't you think so?"

"Fuck yes," you whined, your vision getting clouded with each of Changbin's movements, “it would be so easy for you two to have me whenever you please".

"Only for us?" Chan scoffed, your words having the desired effect on him as his bulge grew harder and harder, "you are adorable".

Both of your hands traveled to their laps, your right one on Changbin's and your left one on Chan's. Shyly, you started palming them through their clothes, earning a faint laugh from Changbin who was still working on your cunt.

"Tell us what you want, princess," he cooed, "we might give you permission if you use your words."

As soon as you were about to speak, Chan's digits replaced Changbin's palm and continued on rubbing your clit while the dark-haired fucked you at a rougher pace, the soft moans becoming louder and louder as the seconds passed by.

"Please, let me touch you," you whined, moving frantically against their hands, "I want to touch you too".

"Go on," he allowed, his voice becoming lower as your timid hands palmed him through the thin fabric of his shorts.

And without losing any more time, you snuck your hands under their clothes, being welcomed by the warmth of their skins as your hands wrapped around their lengths.

However, you were rather impressed by what you found underneath those clothes.

"Don't be scared," Chan murmured as he noticed your countenance, "we will make them fit”.

You cursed again at his words, the tension on your lower back increasing as well as the frantic movements of your hands around them.

They couldn't help themselves but let out small grunts and sighs as you jerked them off, pulling down their clothes to give you even more access to their cocks.

Moving your hands up and down, the movements soon started to become sloppier and messier, your eyes started to roll to the back of your head and incoherent words and mumbles were escaping your lips as an unfamiliar feeling took control over you.

"You are clenching so fucking hard around me," Changbin groaned, increasing the pace of his digits, "does that feel good, princess?"

"Fuck yes," you sighed, the overwhelming feeling causing tears to prick into the corner of your eyes, "don't stop, don't stop, don't stop".

"You look so pretty like this," Chan praised, his hot breath tickling against your cheek, "all desperate and needy".

"Faster," you cried, moving your hips in circular motions against them, "please touch me faster".

And as good, compassionate best friends they were, the two of them followed your pleas. You knew that it wasn't going to take you long to reach your climax and, with all honesty, you could say that this was something you had never experienced before.

Maybe because of it you looked too desperate and eager in front of them, moving your hips frantically and trembling between their bodies as you reached your high.

The sight was something they would never forget, feeling the way your hand squeezed their cocks with roughnes as you cried and rode your orgasm.

"Aren't you such a dirty princess?" Changbin groaned, still fucking you at the same pace just when you were reaching the highest point of your climax and forcing both of your legs open, "coming for the first time in no other than your best friend's bed".

"Oh, God," you cried, biting your lower lip while your body was still shaking.

"Don't close them just yet, baby" Chan mumbled, his digits collecting all of your juices while he held you in place, "don't you want to taste yourself?"

You whined at the faint overstimulation from Chan's digits dragging along your slit, getting completely coated by your arousal. They made their way to your lips and you were quick to clean them up completely, bopping your head and drooling all over them.

Soon, the weight on the bed from your right side shifted as Changbin's figure stood up from his seat. Lowering his shorts and underwear completely, his cock was now at full disposal to you.

And God, was he big.

"Come here," he demanded, signaling for you to kneel right in front of him, "show me what you've thought about me”.

You had given blowjobs before, countless times, but your ex boyfriend was nowhere near to what you had in front of you. Your mind drifted away as it thought about his thick girth filling you up, making you cry both in pain and pleasure but, soon, those trails of thoughts were interrupted when Chan's figure came into the picture.

"We will be gentle," Chan hissed, placing his hand on the back of your head and guiding you all the way to his hardened length,

Starting off with kitty licks, you dragged your tongue along the tip of Chan's cock. He let out a soft moan that only encouraged you to explore further, taking the head inside of your warm mouth as your hand reached out for Changbin's length.

"Jerk him off while I fuck your mouth, do you think you can do that?" you nodded against his cock, "if I get too rough, squeeze my thigh and I will stop".

You nodded once again, feeling how his hands pushed you deeper into his length. You were not really trained to take him, but you were determined to prove to them that you deserved to be fucked.

"All the way in," he hissed, hearing how you struggled to prevent yourself from gagging, "don't hold back, baby, let me hear you choking on my cock".

Relaxing your throat for a bit, you were able to take more of him. Squeezing Changbin's cock everytime Chan's length reached a deeper spot inside your mouth, he couldn't stop himself from letting out grunts and groans each time.

"My turn," Changbin hissed, one of his hands gripping your hair in a ponytail and guiding your face towards his length. With drool all over your chin, and letting out small coughs, you took Changbin's cock inside as if you were an expert on it. Now, your opposite hand reached out for Chan's length as you stroked himself with your own saliva.

"You are doing a great job," Changbin praised, closing his eyes and slamming his hips slowly against your mouth, "taking two cocks at the same time".

From then on, you started acquiring a pace of your own while sucking them off. Having one of their cocks inside of your mouth while stroking the other one, you spent all the time you were able to before your knees started to hurt and bruise due to the material of the rug.

And even then, you didn't want to stop.

The sound of their groans and moans were turning you on more than you would've thought, your available hand always rubbing against your clit as much as you could, driving you to the edge and tightening the now familiar knot on your lower abdomen.

"You have no idea how many times we fantasized about having you like this," Chan groaned, caressing your hair as he slammed his cock inside your mouth, "kneeling down in front of us with your mouth drooling and wanting to take our cocks completely".

"She is so pretty," Changbin praised, biting his lower lip as he witnessed the scene of your teary eyes and ruined face alternating between his cock and Chan's, "I wonder how much prettier she will look with all of her holes filled".

A sudden moan escaped your lips as you heard those words. Of course you knew that having sex with more than one partner was a whole different world than what you were used to, but you never got to think about the implications of it.

"Is that what you want?" Chan questioned, his eyes fixed on the way Changbin's cock disappeared in your mouth, "do you want me to fuck your pussy while he fucks your ass?"

You would be lying if you said that the idea of doing so didn't turn you on.

"It is too soon to try anal," Changbin grunted, letting out a desperate sigh as soon as you withdrew from him to take Chan's cock, "she is not ready for it".

"You think so?" the brown-haired queried, burying himself inside your warm mouth, "I am sure she can take it".

Changbin gave him a worried look, but he wasn't going to deny the fact that he was dying to fuck you from behind. He knew how tight your cunt was from earlier, when he was fucking his fingers inside of you, and he could only imagine how much tighter your ass was.

Luckily for the both of you, he always kept a bottle of lube around for those kinds of rendezvous.

Walking towards the small nightstand right next to his bed, he took out a black, small bottle that caught your whole attention as you awaited on your knees for him.

"I am going to ask you this once," he softly mumbled, caressing your hair and putting a strand of it behind your ear. "Do you really want to try this?"

You knew it was going to be painful but knowing it was them who were causing you pain only turned you even more.

"If you decide that you suddenly don't want it anymore, we will stop," Chan warned.

You stood up from the floor and walked towards the bed, removing your black t-shirt that was now ruined with drool, tears and even precum.

Chan laid down on his own bed with his hardened length inviting you to straddle over him, softly guiding your movements on the bed as he held your hand. You sat down on his lap and allowed him to continue with the task, one of his hands reaching down for the base of his cock to align it with your entrance.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked you with his jaw clenched, dragging the tip of his cock along your slit and earning a few sighs from the both of you. You simply nodded. "It's going to hurt, but I know you can take him".

You stared at Chan for what it felt like hours, and only regained consciousness of the place and position you were in once you felt the weight of the bed shifting as Changbin positioned himself right behind you, resting one of his hands on your hip while the other one held the bottle of lube.

"I think she is ready," Changbin announced and Chan lost no time in entering you, lifting his hips ever so slightly while burying the tip of his cock inside your tight cunt.

"Oh, Go-d," you breathed, leaning down on his figure while you placed both of your arms on each side of his head.

"Take me all the way in," Chan mumbled, pressing your figure down so that his cock could reach the deepest spots in you.

And even though you weren't a virgin, you had never felt such an overwhelming sentiment like this. He was bigger than what you were used to and he tried to do it delicately but awfully failed as he surrendered to his instincts, pounding himself inside you rather harshly for a beginner but just as pleasant.

They both gave you a few minutes to get used to Chan's girth, squeezing it and clenching around it every time Changbin caressed your back and neck in an attempt to soothe you before the pain.

"She is so fucking tight around me," Chan hissed with gritted teeth, completely losing his mind over how wet and warm your pussy felt around him.

Just like he imagined it.

"How does it feel to have Chan stretching you open?" Changbin asks softly, placing a couple of wet pecks on your shoulders and neck while he lazily stroked himself with a fair amount of lube.

"It feels good," you admitted with shortness of breath, feeling dizzy on top of Chan. "I've never felt something like this before".

There was something so filthy about hearing you speak in such a manner that Changbin couldn't resist you anymore. You soon felt the palm of his hand on your lower back, pushing your body, forcing it to lean over Chan's and —once he caught the signal— wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly in place.

"Take a deep breath for me," Changbin ordered, getting even harder at the cold sensation of the lube as he poured more on him and your tightest hole. "We are going to count to three, yeah?"

Changbin always appeared to be someone tough but, it was at times like these, where you truly could appreciate such a soft side from him.

"One," he breathed and you felt Chan's arms tightening around you, his face buried on your neck and chest while he felt your body shuddering on top of his.

"Two," Changbin continued and your back unconsciously arched a bit more for him. "And three".

After the last number, you felt a numbing sensation throughout your body. Your toes curled up in pain and you tried hard to muffle the pathetic cries and whimpers but failed almost immediately.

"It hurts so much," you cried and Chan started to caress your back, feeling his heart pounding at a thousand miles per hour as he witnessed your vulnerable body on top of his.

"We know you can take us," Changbin hissed, softly pushing himself even deeper inside you. "All you have to do is get used to our cocks".

You whined and Chan hugged you even tighter, allowing you to cry over him as Changbin stretched your ass carefully. There was something so twisted about feeling your painful tears landing on his neck and chest that, for an unknown reason, riled him up even more.

"Don't move," Changbin ordered and you did as you were told, your hands gripping the bed sheets harshly while you tried your best to overcome the painful –but pleasant– feeling of having them both inside you. "I want to feel you".

Chan's hands traveled from your waist to your back, caressing it while trying to soothe the pain. You spent a good minute or two with your eyes closed, the only audible thing in the room were your cries and their heavy breathing.

"You think you are ready?" Chan asks you softly, leaving soft kisses on your breasts while still having his arms wrapped around your body.

"I think I am," you finally whispered after a few silent seconds, feeling your arms trembling in fear while still being able to hold your whole weight on top of Chan.

Changbin was the first one to move, slowly withdrawing himself from you only to thrust his cock again, making you cry in pain.

"You are doing such a good job," Chan praised, one of his hands reaching out to try the tears that were streaming down your cheeks. "It's just a little bit of pain, I am sure you can take it".

Changbin continued training you, softly pushing his cock inside you while trying to get you used to his girth. The pain never really went away, but the sudden sentiment of pleasure was quick to appear in the equation and, with that, it was ten times more bearable.

"Go on," Changbin hissed, trying his best to control himself. "She can take you now".

Chan lifted his hips slightly and almost came when he saw your grimaces of pleasure and pain, his cock throbbing at the sight of your furrowed eyebrows and teary eyes getting completely lost.

"Am I hurting you?" Chan asked you and you weakly shook your head, unable to focus on him —or anything, for that matter— because of the overwhelming sensations.

And as soon as they were sure you were alright, they started to acquire a pace of their own. They were going slow, much more slower than they would prefer, but it was still pleasant nonetheless.

Chan's lips captured your hardened nipples and, if anything, that single action made everything way more enjoyable. The cries and whines were soon replaced with moans and whimpers, and the gentle movements lost their softness once they both felt you were ready for a bit more.

"I don't think I am going to last long," Chan admitted between sighs, feeling his cock throbbing inside you.

Changbin was on the same page, but they both wanted to give you one more orgasm before their own. One of his hands traveled to your swollen clit and, while they both fucked your holes, he tried to mantain a steady pace while rubbing it.

"Oh my f- God," you moaned, both of your eyes opening like plates once you felt your body jolting at Changbin's touch. "It feels-".

You couldn't describe it, but they both knew what you meant by the way your holes clenched around them.

"You are dripping wet," Changbin whispered, coating his digits with your fluids while trying his best to get you to the promising orgasm. "You think you can come one more time for us?"

You didn't have time to reply when your eyes were already rolling at the back of your head and your arms started to tremble, threatening to lose any strength that was still left in them.

"God," you whispered again, parting your lips and looking like a complete mess for the both of them. "There, right there-".

Changbin increased his pace and it was only a matter of seconds before Chan started to feel your walls tightening around him almost aggressively. He closed his eyes and groaned under his breath, trying his best not to come just yet.

He wasn't wearing a condom and coming inside was definitely not an option —but God, how he wished it was.

"Just like that," Changbin praised while admiring your body shaking instinctively, his hips slamming against yours softly while you were still trying to overcome your high.

"You are making me lose my mind," Chan whispered as he saw your face, feeling completely vulnerable at the sight of your glossy eyes and parted lips. "It isn't fair to have you around and not be able to do this as much as I want".

Your arms lost all their strength and you inevitably fell on top of Chan's body, crying as you felt the overstimulation washing up on you.

"I'm not going to last long either," Changbin hissed and, with a swift movement, pulled out of you. You whined at the sentiment of emptiness, but it was also a relief.

Chan lifted your hips too and followed his best friend's actions, leaving you completely empty and a sobbing mess.

"Where do you want us?" Chan asked, caressing your cheek and pushing a strand of hair away from your face.

"Wherever you both want to," you replied with shortness of breath and feeling a bit dizzy.

Of course they both wanted to finish inside you, but it was definitely not a good idea.

At least not tonight.

So Chan looked at Changbin and he did the same, almost as if they didn't need words to communicate with each other.

"Get on your knees," Changbin ordered and Chan smiled, recalling one of those times where they talked about how pretty you were and how much each fantasized about coming on your face.

She would look even prettier, Chan had said.

You followed their instructions and kneeled in front of Chan's bed, patiently waiting for them to approach your figure.

They both stood in front of you, stroking their cocks with their gazes fixed on your face. Changbin's hand even gripped your hair a bit harshly, setting you closer to them and in place so they could finish on your face.

"Stick your tongue out, baby," Chan panted, increasing the movement of his wrist on his cock.

You soon felt his arousal landing on your cheek, tongue and chin while a series of curses and groans left his lips. Changbin, once he saw the filthy image of you covered in his friend's semen, came next. With him, it was way more messier: tongue, chin, lips, cheek and forehead.

You swallowed their cum proudly, feeling as if it was some sort of reward for being able to take all the things they had chosen to give you that night. And they both admired the scene in awe, feeling their softening cocks twitching at the sight.

"You both taste good," you murmured, still kneeling in front of them. "I never thought I would like it".

Chan caressed your hair softly while Changbin's digits lifted your chin just so they could both catch a better glimpse of your face covered in cum —one of their biggest fantasies.

"Perhaps we should play the game again," Changbin mumbled, collecting some of their semen with his thumb only to push it inside your parted lips. "And see if your bottle of soju is still full after we are done".

#kpop smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #chan smut #bang chan smut #changbin smut #bangchan smut

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lalal-99 · 3 months

Text

Sweet Thing {s.c.}

9 “ That feels good…” 14 “Spread your legs, sweet thing.” 33 “Please, just let me come!"

Changbin x afab!reader | trope: strangers to lovers, regular hookup turns serious | smut | wordcount: 1.8k

Synopsis: You know nothing about the hot guy you've been hooking up with for months. You're not even sure about his name. Obviously, you need to change that. In the middle of sex is probably not the right time, but so what?!

Warnings: explicit content | dni if your under 18

Note: Well, I don't know what to say for myself. The prompt event happened in March/April 2022. And here I am, 2 years later. Some requested prompts are still in my inbox, and I do think I will write something for each eventually. For now, please enjoy this one :) Also, thanks @jl-micasea-fics for letting me use your prompts. I know it's been two years, but still, credit where its due ;)

Taglist: @skzho @bubblelixie @flakywig @itsallaboutkey @avyskai @mekuiikore @changbiddies0325 @knowleeknow @sensitiveandhungry @svintsandghosts @poutypoutybin @hyunjinswifeee @sunlitwilderness

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Please don't flag as mature or repost this story - Thank You!

“Spread your legs, sweet thing.”

Against every fibre in your body, you disobey and further the distance to the unbelievably attractive man instead. Much to his dismay.

“Hey,” he tilts your gaze towards himself by the touch of your jaw. A sweet gesture, seeing you were heavily making out seconds before. “What’s going on?”

Hidden away in the small bathroom of your favourite bar, you find yourself perched on the counter. Most definitely the product of the alcohol intoxicating your system.

“Sorry—” you excuse yourself, wiping your hands down the sides of face. “I’m good. Let’s keep going.”

Expecting him to continue where you had left of, you’re surprised to find him leaning against the wall. “Not until you tell me what’s going on in that stunning head of yours.”

A light blush spreads over your cheeks towards your ears and your lip wanders between your teeth. Because the reason for your distraction is so stupid.

“It’s just, we’ve been doing this for a while.” Hooking up at this very bar every weekend for the past few months. For the life of you, you can’t remember how it even started. Possibly with a conversation and his hand on your thigh. Probably with a few shots while celebrating your birthday. “And I don’t know anything about you.”

“Which hasn’t been a problem until now. So, where’s this coming from?”

The first few times were fun. Hooking up in the bathroom, words limited to the absolute necessary. If anything, it made it even hotter. Being with a stranger whose name you hardly remember. But then the comments started. You don’t know which of your friend was the first to say something. It might have been Seungmin, questioning how you could keep hooking up weekly without knowing the first thing about him.

And now you can’t shake the comment out of you if you try. The voice is a constant tenant of your metaphorical head-apartment. Living rent-free.

“My friends. They’ve been asking questions about you. None of which I can answer.” Which is stupid, because it shouldn’t matter. What matters is the incredibly handsome and muscular guy in front of you. Changbin— you think.

You’re surprised when he doesn’t laugh at or dismiss their concern. “Okay, then. Let’s do it.”

Cocking an eyebrow, you look down at his hands as they begin travelling up your thighs again. Leaving goosebumps as they burn into your skin.

“Do what?”

“Get to know each other. Might as well play 21 questions while we’re at it.”

His lips brush against your jaw before he urges them against your neck. Checking the quickening of your pulse as he licks at the veins.

“Come on. Hit me.”

But you can’t think. His touches are a true distraction, moans tumbling out of your mouth as you finally spread your legs for him. He slots between them, fitting like the last piece of a puzzle.

“You do know how 21 questions works, right?”

His hands grope at your flesh, pulling you closer until you can feel him against your most sensitive part. Why’d you have to speak up? He could have been inside you by now, but you had to open your stupid mouth.

“Yeah— Just— Can’t think.”

“Fine,” he gives in, pulling at your lip as he kisses you. You’re so hot, you wonder whether you’re nursing a fever. “I’ll tell you three things about me, then. Speed things up. ‘S that alright?”

“Please.” You’re begging now, nails digging into the skin of his bulky arms as he’s dragging his clothed crotch against you. “Feels so good.”

“First one.” Changbin pulls your top up over your breasts, freeing your bra. His thick fingers brush against your nipples, forcing a shudder through your body. “I go to the gym five times a week.”

“Obvious—ngh,” you agree turns into a throaty moan as he nibbles at your left breast. Your panties soaked already as you mumble into the night. “Deeper.”

“I’m not even inside you yet.” His chuckle vibrates through your torso. Then he grazes his teeth against your second nipple, and you might as well have lost your head.

“No. Tell me— fuck— tell something deeper. Something not— not everyone knows.”

You’re entering heaven when his hand wanders down your side and towards the hem of your skirt. It wiggles below the fabric, setting flames to your loins. You’re burning from the inside out as this stranger handles your body like he created it himself. Knows how to make you go absolutely insane. And that’s with his clothes still on.

“I call my mom every day.” That definitely fits the category of deep talk. Although, the thought of Changbin’s mother doesn’t exactly fit the moment. “Number three, I’d like to take you out one of these days.”

When the tip of his thumb reaches for your clit, you see the realisation hit his features in real time. You’ve ruined your panties and he can feel it. He has ruined you, and he can see it. From your rolled-back eyes to your tossed-back head. You’re in absolute ecstasy.

Changbin thumbs at your nub, drawing circles with your own wetness. Smirking with pride like a lunatic.

“Your turn, sweet thing. Three things about you, then you get to come.”

No words describe the hatred you feel for yourself when you realise he’s serious. The trajectory of earning your orgasm is as much arousing as it is frustrating. If only you hadn’t said a thing.

“I’m—” You tumble forward as his middle finger enters you. And him? He cocks his head at you, playing confused.

“Sorry? I don’t understand you. Can you speak up?”

Asshole.

“Music,” you mumble, breathless. “I like music. Listening. Making.”

“That’s one. You’re doing so good for me.” A kiss swallows the whine as he enters another finger. Your walls are clenching around him as his thumb practically attacks your clit. It feels so good, but it’s not enough and Changbin knows. “I tell you what. Give me a second, and I’ll give you a third. Sound good?”

You nod, frantic, needing—nay, craving—another one of his fingers.

“I’m good— good at— oh, God.” Hands are clawing at his shirt, the black and red fabric almost ripping from the strength he ignites in you. Your stomach is tensing tight, and he slows down. It’s an alarming promise, Changbin threatening to leave you high and dry if you don’t give him another one. A second fact about yourself. “Maths. I’m good at maths.”

You’re all but howling when he enters a third finger and curls them up against your spot. That’s when you loose the rest of control over your body. None of your movements are under your own command anymore, Changbin’s the sole reason you’re even still sitting upright.

“That’s two. I thought you were good at maths. You’re one short of earning my mouth, sweet thing.”

The promise alone almost makes you fall of the edge. His mouth on you. Coaxing you to your sweet, sweet release. It’s not far, but Changbin is the only one who can make you reach it. You don’t doubt he’ll leave you on the edge if you don’t give him a third fact.

It’s unfortunate that you can’t form coherent sentences anymore. Let alone think of a third fact about yourself. Absolutely pathetic.

“Please—” Swallowing the lump in your throat, you stare up at him, begging, pleading. “Please, just let me come.”

“Nuh-uh,” he teases with a smirk. A soft kiss hits your nose, then your lips. “That’s not a fact, sweet thing. Don’t you want to come on my tongue?”

Again, the thought alone has you clenching on his fingers. You’re so full, so close, and yet, can’t think of anything.

Maybe if you copy one of his facts, he won’t notice, right? But what was it he said? Oh, right. Gym, mom, date. But, you don’t go to the gym and you don’t talk to your mom daily.

“So, what is it?”

“Date!” you blurt out and he looks confused. “Take me out.” But that’s a prompt, not a fact, so you correct even further, teetering on the edge of heaven and hell. “I’d like it, I mean.”

Changbin debates for a second whether your words count as a fact. You can tell he wants to tease you some more, relishes in it. Thank God, he decides against it.

A sigh of relief escapes you when he finally leans down, pushes your skirt up and connects his lips to yours. And that’s all it takes.

One second his tongue prods against your clit, the next you’re coming on it.

And come, you do. You’re sure you’re squirting all over his face as he swallows up every bit of your release. Cleans you with his mouth until you’re glistening in spit and overstimulation. It doesn’t seem he wants to leave the space between your thighs and you have to drag him away when it becomes too much.

“Sweet, sweet thing,” he teases with a smile when he comes up, licking his lips. His hair is a mess, likely from your hands tugging at the strands and he looks like sex-on-legs. Cheeks dark pink, lips just as, and eyes blurry from arousal. He’s so, so hot, and you’re heating up again already as he’s kissing your lips with pure passion. “So, about that date…”

“Name a place and a time. I’ll be there.”

He chuckles, pulling you from the counter and turning you around. You will never tire from him, treating you like a doll. Bending and breaking you as he pleases. Those damn muscles flex as his arms wrap around your body and he pushes you up against the sink.

“We’ll get there. In fact…” he pulls your skirt over your asscheeks, giving them a delicious squeeze as he hums. Next thing you know, he frees his cock, reaching into his jeans to pull out a condom. And you wonder how Changbin is still so hot while wrapping himself in the latex. “How about you come three more times.”

You gulp at the thought, finding him in the mirror.

“One for a time and one for a place.”

That’s only two. You’re good at maths, or at least you think you are. Changbin might have fucked that brain right out of you.

“And the last one— one— fuck, you’re tight,” he praises as he enters you from behind.

Once he bottoms out, he collects himself, flicking your nipples as he watches you through the glass. And yet again, you’re a chaotic mess in his hands. With your head thrown back against his chest, you’re sent straight back to your own personal nirvana.

That’s when Changbin finishes his prior statement, a proud smirk glued to his face. “The last one’s simply for good measure.”

Masterlist Leave your thoughts!

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twig-tea · 3 months

Note

With 23.5 finally coming out, the people are rejoicing at finally getting a high profile gl from GMMTV. But there have already been several gls airing this year, including my fav TsukuTabe, that have been flying under the radar with fandom, and in general there are more gls already out there than folks seem to think. I just know you have a list of all the gls we should be watching, please share with the class!

Thank you for the ask! How did you know I had a draft of GL recs to make at some point? [Trick question, I mentioned it to you.]

It may seem like I'm out here hating on GL because i've made a couple of negative reviews of recently airing series recently (Love Senior and Chaser Game W in case you're curious) but I actually have lots of GL that I love and that I wish were better known! Thanks for sending this ask so I am inspired to actually finish it! I've limited myself to series so that I could keep the list and this post to a reasonable length. Where possible I've listed where you can find each of these and included a link. And I've included an 'elevator pitch' summary but I am NOT in marketing for a reason, so please don't roast me too hard for my terrible comparisons. Alright, enough waffling!

Twig's GL Rec List

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat S1 & 2 (Japan, 2022 & 2024, both seasons fansubbed by @furritsubs; if you need help accessing this show feel free to DM me!)

Elevator pitch: Our Dining Table with lesbians and an even slower burn. Watch for beautiful food, acespec rep, mental health and therapy rep

What might turn some off: Extremely low heat, and quite slow-moving; warning for a disordered eating and family trauma plot (v gently handled)

Let's start with the one you've already mentioned. This is a heartwarming slice-of-life slow burn in which an autismspec-coded woman who likes to eat is invited by her neighbour, a femme acespec woman who loves to cook, to come and eat her food. It starts from a very practical place (when you love making food you need someone to help eat it), but their relationship grows as they spend more time together. The story follows them as they both move towards self-actualization in several ways: as a lesbian, as asexual, at work, with their families, with their friends, with each other. This show is so careful to say the important words aloud. And there is so much delicious cooking! Each episode highlights a particular recipe, and the food porn is real. Do not watch while hungry, but definitely watch. The found famiy vibes in this one one are also immaculate.

She Makes My Heart Flutter (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Younger lesbian friend group tries to help out (slightly) older lesbian bar owner with mixed success. I can't think of a good BL equivalent, The Moment Since feels the closest with its similar bartender/patron romance

What might turn some off: Comedic tone; short runtime; struggles with being closeted

This is a gem of a miniseries about a bar owner and an interior designer who smoulder at one another while an intrepid group of younger bar regulars (including the bar owner's neice) meddle. This series is really cute, solid, and full of sapphics! Once again found family vibes are immaculate (you may sense a theme in my faves). Run don't walk.

Fragrance of the First Flower (Taiwan, 2021, GagaOOLala)

Elevator pitch: Right-person-wrong-time/second chance romance; tonally is a little like We Best Love 2: Fighting Mr. 2nd but with an ambiguous ending.

What might turn you off: Medium heat, second chance romance means they break up once, internalized homophobia, adultery/cheating, at one point there's a creepy dude, child with autism (depicted well), ambiguous ending

At its core this is a story of a woman who can't stop getting in the way of her own happiness. This series is a little more sad than the rest of this rec list but I couldn't not include it because this relationship is so poignant. Plus there's a s2 that supposedly is to come out in 2024 so maybe we'll get our happy ending after all?

Love Greater Than or Equal to 70 Degrees C (Korea, 2019, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ingredients but with lesbians staring at one another over beautiful tea pairings! What more could you ask for?

What might turn you off: Low heat; short runtime; ambiguous ending; like Ingredients this is essentially a long ad for the café it's filmed at.

This is a Korean miniseries about passionate tea sommeliers making really fancy tea while staring at one another a LOT. Perfect sapphic representation, 10/10 no notes. This one packs a lot of the drama tropes into its short runtime, so even though it's short it's full of butterfly-inspiring moments.

Sleep With Me (Philippines, 2022, GagaOOLala/iWantTFC/Netflix w/VPN set to Philippines)

Elevator pitch: The Truth About Cats and Dogs but the self esteem issues are handled without catfishing. BL equivalent: Hmmm. Closest I can think of is Gaya Sa Pelikula.

What might turn you off: There's some ableism (treated as such) in this show; Open ending.

Stellar GL between a late night radio DJ and an insomniac who listens to her show. One of the main couple is a wheelchair user and the show tackles ablelism and navigating disability in relationship as well as feelings of inadequacy in a relationship and how that manifests as interpersonal conflict.

Our Relationship Ended Before it Began (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Along the lines of I Cannot Reach You; the show gives both perspectives and they are held back by queer angst.

What might turn you off: No kiss (but they make it very clear both want to kiss), internalized homophobia

Really sweet miniseries about having a crush and being afraid of being hurt so you don't actually make a move. I really like the way the girl who has not dated a girl before defaults to gender roles and it throws the more experienced lesbian lol I also really like the way this show makes clear that both of them are waiting for a kiss, and that if you get in your head about things, it can get in the way of your own happiness!

Pearl Next Door (Philippines, 2020, Youtube)

Elevator Pitch: Gameboys but with lesbian vloggers.

What might turn you off: Love triangle, lots of teasing but low heat in the end, a lot of (good) conversations about mental health issues, ambiguous ending

This is the GL spinoff to Gameboys, starring Pearl from Gameboys. Pearl ends up being fought over by the two gorgeous women in the gif, an old love and a new. I love the queer friendships in this story as much as the relationships. I will say it's an open ending (that felt a bit like the showrunners didn't want to decide between ships) and definitely the love triangle features prominently but even in the face of these aspects that would normally turn me off a series I had a good time. The characters and interpersonal conflicts feel very real, and are allowed to be complex even when the show tone is comedic.

Dear Uranus (Taiwan, 2021, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Schoolgirl ensemble GL; a little like My School President but without the singing.

What might turn you off: Short runtime; ambiguous ending; a little bit of bullying; very standard romance trope execution

The first Taiwanese GL miniseries, this series was produced by a Taiwanese lesbian couple (Rabbit & Wolf)! Lots of excellent drama tropes, and incredibly gorgeous women (I think the entire watching audience fell in love with Erol.

Lily Fever (Korea, 2015, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Complete crack; YYY but with more kissing and frankly an even less coherent story.

What might turn you off: The lack of coherent plot; less a romance and more a very thirsty lesbian kissing everyone she can

This miniseries is utter chaos. Nothing really makes sense, it's all just random excuses to cause very suggestive moments (and kissing) to happen. I love so much how this series depicts women being so absolutely thirsty for one another (and yes that date isn't a typo, this series is ~9 years old). Not an "happy ever after" ending but it really isn't that kind of story.

Chasing Sunsets (Philippines, 2020, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ocean Likes Me with lesbians. Resort romance with a mental health twist.

What might turn you off: Some of the mental health stuff gets intense, this was filmed in 2020 so the pandemic features heavily; hopeful but slightly ambiguous ending.

A complex story from the Philippines covering mental health and finding yourself. A woman shows up to a resort and befriends one of the women running the resort. They get closer as they spend time together, and the resort owner realizes something is off. There's also a BL side couple in this series.

Show Me Love (Thai, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: A little like My Day the series with lesbians, in that they work together and fall in love and it's full of tropes

What might turn you off: The advertising for the Miss Grand competition, there is some bullying and cheating (though way less than I was expecting tbh), not a lot actually happens, the editing gets a bit wonky at the end

This is essentially a massive ad for the Miss Grand Thailand competition; this GL was produced by the same company that produces that competition, and the stars are mostly Miss Grand competitors. The main pairing were shipped in the actual competition, and the company decided to make a GL about them. It's very slow paced and low-stakes, and there are better kisses than I expected considering everything I just said about where this show came from. There are a lot of cute moments!

Girlfriend Project (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Love Class with lesbians

What might turn you off: One of the leads is kind of mean in that pgitail-pulling way? It ends abruptly (but happily)

This is a short miniseries about two girls paired in a class that are assigned to "date". The chemistry is chemistrying. And there is a kiss (a good kiss, and a tiptoes kiss at that!). This show also has one of my favourite tropes, in which someone who seems like a pushover stands up for themselves and their partner finds it very attractive. For the record, in this show they are watching another GL by the same company, Love Tech.

Lulu (Philippines, 2022, Vivamax/grey)

Elevator Pitch: Present Perfect with lesbians (but with a better ending).

What might turn you off: Depictions of panic attacks, brief depiction of drowning, pandemic lockdowns, illness, exes, waffling, happy but open ending (which I actually liked for this story)

Two women trying to move on from the garbage in their lives meet at the beach of a B&B (where one saves the other from drowning) and become one another's company during their escape and then something more. They both have baggage that seems determined to keep them apart even as they continue to be drawn together. In the end, they decide to stick it out and see where they end up, with no guarantee of happily ever after, which I found very sweet. Requires either a VivaMax account or searching the grey for it, but it's worth the effort (check MyDramaList comments for suggestions on where to find it). Plus one of the leads has a cactus as a pet.

Welcome to the Lesbian Bar (Korea, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: A little like Fudanshi Bartender but without the fudanshi bartender and all of the bar patrons are lesbians lol

What might turn you off: Short, can get a little bit preachy, abrupt ending

Cute short series with different very stories every episode as different patrons visit the bar. The stories range from women who have been together for awhile, to people meeting from an online app for the first time, to someone visiting a lesbian bar for the first time; and yet the story all weaves together in a way that's satisfying though ends abruptly. Includes some solid marriage equality propaganda.

GAP the Series (Thai, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Kind of the vibes of Together with Me but lesbians and in an office instead of school. Angry boss falls for charming new intern and

What might turn you off: This one is the highest heat of all these recs; homophobia especially amongst family, brief depictions of death by car, brief mentions of suicide, cheating, bullying, abuse of power in the office.

A list would not be complete without this one! Honestly the plot is a bit wobbly but the show is a lot of fun. The girls are very cute, the feelings and tension builds really well between them, the friend group is excellent, and in the special we get a wedding.

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The rest of these have caveats of one kind or another, but i couldn't leave them off a rec list, so here are the side couples and censored stories that are still worth your time anyway (I might do a separate more detailed post for these, as well as for films, one day if there's interest):

Nevertheless (GL side; Korean, 2021, Netflix) Not sure it's worth watching a whole kdrama for side lesbians? Search soljiwan on youtube. They are great. Even the Netflix account stans them. I watched this (ngl, I watched the SolJiwan cut) as it aired and was constantly braced for it to let us down but it did not! A really good friends-to-lovers story.

Friend Zone 2: Dangerous Area (GL side; Thailand, 2019, YouTube): These sapphics are messy and I love them. Decent conversation about dating someone with mental health issues in this series, and they're one of the only couples in this ensemble to get a happy ending. If you're just watching the lesbian couple (which you can, their story is pretty self-contained) you don't need to have seen s1.

Six Survivors (GL side; Japan, 2022, Viki) This show is a horror comedy and it is SO MUCH FUN. Warning for zombies and blood, but way less than you might think. One of the eponymous 6 survivors is a lesbian who keeps trying to convert them to veganism lol. If you watched Chaser Game W you'll recognize one of the actresses in this, the lead actress is from Kamisama no Ekohiiki, and one of the guys is from the prequel series His as well as I Want to See Only You! And yes there is a kiss. Also a surprising number of Mallrats references. Not for people who can't handle gore or relationships being complicated/not a "true love" story/ambiguous ending.

Kamisama no Ekohiiki (complicated question of is it GL in parts, Japan, 2021, furritsubs once again coming through to save the day) This one is a bit complex because there's bodyswap, but the girl who falls for the bodyswapped boy-in-a-girl's-body is clear that she is only interested in the girl. One of the better bodyswap stories because the bodyswap is not a secret for very long, so instead there's a lot of introspection about what gender means and who/what they are attracted to. Feels wrong to call this GL, necessarily, but it's very queer.

Couple of Mirrors (Censored GL, China, 2021, Viki) Story of a rich girl and her assassin girlfriend. This production did an amazing job getting away with what they could, just don't watch the last five minutes and we've got essentially a happy lesbian family.

Legend of Yunze (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) Very cute very low budget xianxia miniseries with two seasons and a special. The special is set in modern times in a future lifetime so if you want a cute censored-but-clearly-a-soulmate-love-story this is the one for you. Don't be thrown off by the weird cuts/abrupt episode endings, that's in line with cdramas in general.

Led Astray by Love (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) A very fun and adorable isekai story in which a modern day girl is transported to a wuxia novel setting and has to figure out how to get home, and gets romanced by the princess along the way.

And a few additional links for people who even more content:

My Indian sapphic webseries rec list

My suggestions for content with toms (Thai category that's similar to but not exactly the same as butch lesbians) in response to this post.

This really good GL MyDramaList list (not made by me!) lists what seems to be everything I've mentioned and about 200 more. Even I haven't seen a few of these!

My YouTube playlist of sapphic content: This includes anything I stumble across or find in my searches, a lot of music videos and random shorts as well as some microseries and miniseries that I don't consider GL but are WLW/sapphic in addition to true "GL" content. For serialized content, I add just the first ep. A complete mess, but you can trawl through to find stuff to watch, like Hetero!

SOONOTSUE: The same producers of She Makes My Heart Flutter have other short series on their channel worth checking out; if you liked that one, try Out of Breath!

Shakeshoulder: Thai YouTube producers of very pulpy (read: low budget and dramatic plots) shorts

FuFuKnows: This YouTube channel is owned by a gay Taiwanese couple that produces shorts every week, including some with GL mains and sides. These are very low budget but cover a whole swath of queer themes.

@douqi7s is a godsend providing subtitles for all kinds of content, including sapphic shorts and more series than I've listed here. Check their tumblr for links to all of their content; A Practical Guide to Being a Superstar's Assistant has one of the best setups to giving us great moments in the guise of something else so that they get past censorship I've ever seen; I also recommend The Vampires if you're into genre fiction, as well as Legend of Yunqian if you enjoyed the xianxia parts of Legend of Yunze. @wlwcatalogue did an excellent summary of many of the non-wuxia options here.

Quick pitch for the streaming platform GagaOOLala; it's affordable, has a ton of content, including a whack of GLs (originals, license series, and a ton of shorts), and is run by queer people out of Taiwan who care about good quality queer content being made and having an audience, and using the soft power from those successful series to support social change. And if you can't afford a subscription it's worth checking out what they have for free, they open up temporary free access to some things for various events throughout the year.

In searching for gifs for this post I found fellow tumblr user @drowningparty 's WLW compendium list; they've listed more series and films so check it out if you still need more content!

*wipes sweat off brow* that should be enough to be getting on with, but it's really just the tip of the iceberg! If there's something specific you want to see with sapphics let me know and I can tell you if I know it exists. Anyway, I hope this gives you and everyone else a taste of what all is out there! I of course always want more, I am serious about being a sapphic dragon hoarding every crumb i can get my lizardy hands on, but I do think what we have should also be appreciated more. If I missed one of your faves, please tell me!

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heartandfangs · 1 year

Text

NOT IF IT'S YOU— PART ONE.

GENRE University AU, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Angst, Smut, Fluff

PAIRING Nerd!Heeseung x f!Reader

WARNINGS 18+ ONLY MDNI, Jealousy, Cursing, Making out, Arguing, Anxiety, Depression, Flirting, Mentions of food, Brief violence, Brief mention of alcohol, Brief mention of somnophilia, Crying (all sorts), Degradation, Breast worship, Multiple Orgasms, Squirting, Coming untouched, Heavy spit play, Light BDSM, Edging, Spanking, Oral Sex, Unprotected Sex, Cream Pie, Dry humping, Praise kink, First-time blow job, Ball sucking, Fingering, Cum eating, Ear licking, Biting, Public Sex, Light bondage, Dom!Heeseung, Brattysub!FemMC, Sub!Heeseung, Softdom!FemMC, Other OC’s

SUMMARY Befriending a nerd who wants nothing to do with you in a coding class you want absolutely nothing to do with becomes the challenge of the semester— and you’re determined to ace that shit no matter what. WORD COUNT 29k (Fic Total)

AUTHOR’S NOTE Long time no see— it’s P, the romantic at heart! This one’s for the people who play otome games, whose favorite spot on campus is the library, and who are afraid to be loved but want to love as hard as they possibly can.

Enjoy my contribution to the tropey Uni AU genre! Also wtf thank you for 1k followers (If you’re a minor please unfollow me. Idc if that puts me way back under. If you’re not, thank you, and stay tuned bc I will do something to celebrate… once I get through 6 months worth of notifications rip)

See end of part two for author’s note cont.

Masterlist, Part Two

“Have you ever gotten the random urge to give someone a blow job?”

You lifted your head from your notes, eyes wide and scrutinizing. Why did your friend have to be so damn loud in the library, of all places?

A scoff barely escaped your mouth before you dived back into your textbook, “There’s not a person with a dick on this university campus that deserves one from me. Why? Have you?”

“All the time, but especially when I’m on my period,” Rin confessed, “Hormones.”

“Oh, I bet.”

I don’t know how Rin finds the time to think about these things…

Your friend pouted while drumming her pencil against the communal library table as if she could hear your judgemental thoughts. There were more important things for you to worry about, clearly.

You sighed as you began to pack up your backpack to catch your most dreaded class of the semester, coding.

It was an elective you immediately regretted taking, but you swore to yourself to see it through to expand your skill set. Unfortunately, it was just a week into the semester, and the horrid feeling that you would fail a class for the first time was way too real.

Rin continued to spew nonsense, “Maybe I should check this dating app—”

You slung your backpack over your shoulder and ruffled Rin’s hair on your way to the elevators, “You are a slut, aren’t you?”

“Please stop acting like you’re not,” Rin rolled her eyes and raised her voice just enough to carry over the bookshelves and be heard by unsuspecting students, “There’s only so many otome games one can play!”

“Shhh!” You hissed at her to shut up, eyes shooting daggers at the snickering girl.

She must’ve been spying on you every time you pulled out your phone to take a break. What did she have against your little games? After your first relationship went up in flames, they were a pretty decent replacement for dating and soon became an addictive hobby.

They were great time-killers, required minimum commitments, and had a plethora of eye candy to choose from. Even if you did screw up, you just needed to wait a few days to replenish your lives. Plus, they all fit in your pocket…

And they could never break your heart like your ex had.

‘I’m gonna kill you’, You mouthed at her over your shoulder while slamming your fist against the elevator button.

Rin tapped her lips with her middle finger and sent you a flying kiss. Deep down, she hoped you’d come across a sweet boy for your own good.

While you stared at the colored lines of code on the monitor in front of you, determined to at least figure out how to embed one damn photo onto your website for tomorrow’s critique, your silent tablemate on your left tapped away at his keyboard with ease.

Everything about the guy screamed overachiever; it was 45 minutes after class had ended, and he was still working away on his project after everyone else had left.

Meanwhile, you were pretending to know what you were doing by typing in some random characters and then immediately deleting them. Being the anxiety-ridden person you were, you managed to work up a nervous sweat, your palms going numb.

Fuck, this is embarrassing. I should just leave and figure it out once I get home.

The student next to you didn’t seem to have any issues, but then again, the course you enrolled in was actually a combined class with different levels, and clearly, this wasn’t his first course in the subject. It was definitely an odd curriculum; you weren’t sure why you hadn’t read the class description more thoroughly.

“Hi! Mind if I sit here?” You asked the student earlier upon seeing the closest open seat available.

The boy didn’t say hello, he merely spared you a glance, adjusted his glasses, then resumed the staring contest with his computer screen.

“Okay…” You said with a touch of annoyance in your tone. His eyes barely shifted to your face in response, and then he was back to typing.

His standoffish attitude from the moment you walked into the class and took the closest open seat next to him irked you more than it should’ve.

It wasn’t until you sat down next to him that you were thrown off by how big the guy actually was, but even more so, the faint scent of sweet lavender wafting off of him. You weren't sure whether it was cologne or detergent, just that it somewhat reminded you of your favorite macaron flavor.

How unexpected. Well, that ruins it, you thought.

Even if the guy smelled pretty damn nice, he was snooty in your book. If he didn’t have such an aloof attitude about him, you might’ve befriended him just to reach out for notes in the class in case you got sick.

Rin often called you a prideful bitch, and you’d brush off her accusations, but deep down, you knew her words had some weight to them. Prideful was a fair adjective; your strong desire to handle your own business kept others at bay, which was great for someone like you who liked to be left to your own devices.

Though pride paired with stubbornness wasn’t necessarily the most beneficial combination when finding oneself in a pinch…

Nearly two hours of the class begrudgingly swept by, and you were still stuck on the initial steps, your brain utterly confused by the jumble of lines and coding rules you had to adhere to. It was a huge struggle to keep up with the pace the professor taught, let alone ensure the material stuck in your brain.

It also didn’t help that the boy next to you had the audacity to pull up a window of manga on the side to read while you were struggling your ass off.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed at him.

Now, the class was well over, and you still managed to convince yourself to stay even though the shit your professor covered in lecture went in through one ear and out the other.

After such a long day of stacked classes, your facade slipped, and you dropped your head into your hands. If you were honest, some of your pride slipped along with it. Since you were so busy, the last meal you had eaten was yesterday’s dinner, and you were starving. There were tons of other class assignments you hadn’t even touched yet.

You bit your lip and watched the boy out of the corner of your eye, debating for a solid minute if you should ask for help. At this point, you were just wasting precious time that could be spent running to the nearest McDonald's for a burger.

In the name of efficiency, you decided to reach out for help from the person you least wanted to ask— but just this once.

“Hey. Could you show me how to add an image to my site? I can’t figure it out even though I tried to follow the directions….”

First, you saw the boy’s brown eyes widen ever so slightly before he looked over you in consideration.

If he says no, I guess I’ll go fuck myself.

“Sure.”

Oh.

Feeling your heart flood with relief, you replied gratefully, “Thank you.”

You were taken aback when you watched him slide off his chair and drop to his knees by your side. He leaned over the edge of the table to take control of your mouse and keyboard, his attention fixed on the debauched code on your screen.

Really, you two could’ve just switched seats, but you decided to let him do his thing while you tucked your hands under your thighs and watched. Your brain was beyond trying to make sense of what he was inputting into your code.

Funnily enough, the silence between you two was even more awkward than it had been before you spoke to each other. Still, you refrained from distracting him, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

After a minute, you decided to check him out instead.

Your eyes shifted between the computer screen and his calm, concentrated features since you hadn’t really gotten a good look at him before.

His black, wispy bangs hung just over his dark eyes, and his circular, silver-rimmed glasses sort of amplified their roundness. They held a touch of naïveté in them– but when you looked at him from the side, they were sharpened due to focus.

Admittedly, he had the softest-looking set of lips, the kind that anyone would easily be jealous of. The slope of his nose was just as cute, to your annoyance.

Your eyes trailed downwards to the pronounced curve of his throat, but just for a moment before returning your attention to the screen of code.

He was attractive in an unexpected sort of way.

It actually was kind of sweet that he’d be willing to kneel on the questionable floor of the computer lab to help you out. You wondered if he was trying to make up for ignoring you at the beginning of class.

“Is this the photo you want to add?” He hovered the mouse over the recent file in your downloads folder.

“Yeah.”

You must’ve really fucked up your code because the slowest five minutes passed before he clicked save on your program, and most of it you spent trying to act like you hadn’t been staring at him every other second.

The boy finally stood up with the slightest groan, and to your dismay, the sound went straight between your thighs.

Woah there.

“Try refreshing that,” He instructed while rubbing at his kneecaps through his jeans.

With the click of a mouse, you refreshed the program to see a jpg of your favorite Shrek meme pop up on your otherwise bare-bones-looking website.

“Wow— it actually works. Thank you,” You were unable to help yourself from beaming up at him, rather impressed at his efficiency.

He merely nodded, averting his eyes.

Was he older than you or younger? Did he work on the weekends? Have a significant other? A myriad of ridiculous questions bombarded your mind.

“What’s your name?” You asked.

That was a good, normal place to start.

“Heeseung,” he stretched his arms over his head and winced at the slightest crick of his shoulder. All your eyes could focus on were the sharp lines of his waist peeking out under the edge of his sweatshirt.

You introduced yourself as casually as you could, “My name’s ___. This really isn’t my thing, so thank you.”

“Anytime,” He said simply, rubbing at the back of his neck.

In a flash of a second, the shameless part of your mind dared to imagine how that shy expression of his might twist into one of pleasure— how his breathy sighs would fill your ears while he was hunched over, bracing himself on the table. At the same time, you pictured yourself between his long legs, mouthing kisses over his bulge, watching him twitch above you all the while.

‘Who’s the slut now?’ You could already hear Rin’s ridiculous comments; she must’ve poisoned your brain with the thought.

Feeling yourself starting to go slightly demented from the turn of events, you excused yourself and threw your supplies into your backpack to leave as quickly as you could, entirely oblivious to how Heeseung stared after you on your way out.

Heeseung meant it when he said, ‘anytime.’

From that day on, there wasn’t an instance where he didn’t hesitate to help when you asked him for it. Each day, you grew less and less hesitant to ask him for assistance which was… interesting.

What was even more unbelievable was that he never asked for anything in return, and you were so grateful, so smitten by him. The assignments you received were absolutely distressing, yet Heeseung didn’t appear to resent your requests and was always more than willing to lend you a hand. Based on your life experience, that was far from normal.

There was a question that you just had to ask a few weeks into the semester when he was helping you work on one of your projects for the nth time.

“Honestly, do you like doing this?”

Heeseung leaned back in his chair and appeared contemplative while stretching his wrists. “No. Coding is a tedious process, but if you’re referring to helping you,” He looked at you with an earnest gleam in his eyes and gave you a small smile, “Yes, I really like helping you.”

It was the first time you felt your heart skip in a while.

Right then and there, you could’ve dropped to your knees and let him use your mouth however he pleased. Fuck everyone else in the class; you would’ve done it.

On a serious note, it was unfortunate that you had nothing to offer him of value in the class.

Your creative mind worked so differently, and you two didn’t share any other classes you could help him with. So you often tried to make up for it by conversing and attempting to get to know him.

Emphasis on attempt.

The downside to your interactions was that he rarely engaged with you on the occasion, even when you tried to initiate a casual conversation with him.

“What are you always reading during class?” You glanced over at his screen curiously one day.

Heeseung was always quick to minimize the extra window when you caught him. “Nothing much, just manga. Need something?”

“What? I— No, I was just wondering,” You’d quirk a brow at him, and he’d return to his task.

Every time you came into class and took the same seat next to him, you’d greet him, and he’d greet you in return but left it at that. After assisting you with an issue, he’d always quietly turn back to his computer and pick up where he left off. Maybe you’d be able to get in a question or two, but he hardly talked up a storm.

Even when you probed him about his life, Heeseung merely gave short replies or shook off your questions. He was so difficult to get to know and apparently didn’t care to hold a conversation with you outside of coding. Still, you were insistent because you were a relatively private individual yourself. Really, you tried to understand where he was coming from.

“I’m so glad I don’t have classes after this,” a yawn escaped your lips as you covered your mouth with your hand.

Heeseung’s typing never ceased, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” You stared at his profile, waiting to see if he’d continue the conversation. After a second too long of waiting, you asked, “Do you have any night classes?”

“I don’t. I have work.”

You perked up in your seat. “Oh? Where at?”

“I’m actually about to change jobs, so it really doesn’t matter,” Heeseung responded curtly.

You sank back into your chair. “Oh. Sorry.”

He turned to look at you as if to say something, an apologetic expression nearly taking hold of his features, but he seemingly held himself back and returned to his work.

Still, within the coming weeks, you grew curious about his family as well. One day your curiosity was at its peak, and you rattled off questions about any possible siblings he might have. That was less intrusive than asking about a significant other, right?

“So, are you an only child, or do you have any siblings?” You probed during a particularly long day and difficult class session. When one’s brain was already fried, it didn’t hurt to completely give up on figuring something out, especially if you had Heeseung.

Just for today, you promised yourself as Heeseung was clicking away at your keyboard, helping you out as usual.

“... I have a brother,” Heeseung hesitated, “Stepbrother, actually. He’s a student as well.”

“No way? Same major as you?”

“No…” and he left it at that, making you wonder if they weren’t on the greatest terms... Or if he just didn’t care to share more of his life with you.

Nonetheless, your attempts to converse with him day after day eventually took a toll on you. Clearly, you were bothering him with the questions, but it’s not like you just chose anyone to put effort into getting to know. Why couldn’t he understand that? Most people would’ve loved getting asked about their life and would easily drone on and on about themselves.

Rin would cackle at you now if she only knew of your circumstances. As if you would ever tell her with the shit way things were going.

God, I should just stick to my little otome game apps with automated responses.

After several weeks of your relationship with him going nowhere, your savior became the source of your frustration.

Guys never helped you out without an ulterior motive or expecting something in return, so it was almost inconceivable to think someone like Heeseung existed. His caring personality subverted your initial expectations of him, and you knew his selfless actions came from a sincere place, but still…

This had grown beyond needing his help in class. All you wanted to do was get to know Heeseung because you had taken a genuine interest in him.

Was that asking for a lot?

The day you walked into class and plopped into your seat without saying hello to him, Heeseung knew something was up. The boy had gotten much too used to your greetings every day.

Barely able to contain your irritation with him, you stared straight ahead at your screen and got to work, despite feeling his eyes on you.

Beside you, Heeseung was desperately trying to read your stoic expression. He’d glance at you meekly, and look back at his computer for a few seconds, only to peer over at you again.

This cycle went on for the next few minutes until you heard him greet you first, for once.

“Hey, ___–”

“Hey,” You barely spared him a look and settled back into your workflow just as swiftly.

Stumped by your odd behavior, Heeseung drew his hands into his lap and fell quiet once more.

Just when you thought he’d leave you be, Heeseung pulled up to your side in his rolling chair, that signature lavender scent of his invading your senses. His knee bumped into yours but stayed there.

“Do you need my help with anything?”

“No, thank you,” you replied coldly.

You saw him wilt out of the corner of your eye, and something vengeful in you felt good about making him feel the way you’ve felt for the past months. The other part of you just felt plain guilty.

Feeling suffocated, you abruptly left the class to get some fresh air. You were hoping the open-air foyer filled with wooden benches would grant you a moment of reprieve.

Choosing the farthest bench from the entrance, you sat down and propped up your legs, pulling your knees close to your chin. The evening breeze swept across your flushed cheeks, and you were mortified to realize tears were threatening to spill down them.

It was childish of you to reject Heeseung’s attention once you finally got it, but… you couldn’t help it. You knew the attention wasn’t due to any sort of genuine feelings toward you; it was merely your petty behavior that provoked him.

Was this how it felt to be rejected while trying so hard to befriend someone? Is this how people felt when you made them jump through a hundred hoops to get to know you?

You thought back to when you took the chance to let someone in for the first and last time. Had you just been too much? Or maybe not worth the trouble?

If that were true… maybe that was the reason your first love had cheated on you.

Old feelings bubbled up in your chest, and suddenly everything really felt like shit.

To make things worse, you were sulking. Even though Heeseung could tell something was up and was trying to diagnose the situation, he still infuriated you. If anyone had to deal with an aloof individual for as long as you did, you were sure they’d go crazy too.

Especially if they were as cute as Heeseung was.

Fuck.

There was no way you were about to cry in public over a boy, the most angelic, frustrating boy you’ve ever met.

Not everybody reciprocated people’s feelings equally, and it was simply life to deal with it. Still…

Once you buried your face into your arms, you released your pent-up emotions with a shaky breath, letting the hot tears fall and soak into your jeans. You decided to stay there for a while, long enough until you knew everyone in class would be gone, so you could rest assured no one would see your pathetic tear-stained face.

It was a good half hour after class ended before you made your way back to collect your belongings and catch the bus to head home. Somehow, you cried for the majority of it as quietly as you could.

It actually helped a bit, as it had back then.

When you pulled open the door, you froze like a deer in headlights.

Heeseung stared up at you with wide eyes from where he was sitting; he was the only one left in the class, which you hadn’t counted on.

He wasn’t waiting for you, was he?

“Um…” You trailed off and slowly turned to leave again, but he was already out of his seat, making his way toward you.

Jesus—

You were hardly ever standing next to each other, so facing him head-on at his tall stature was intimidating, even with his cardigan and those nerdy glasses of his. Perhaps it also had to do with the unfamiliar look in his eyes and the intense concern in them.

“Are you okay?” He reached out to touch your arm, but you stepped back and caught him by the shoulders, holding him back at arm's length.

Unable to look at him directly, you stared down at your shoes next to his, eyes stinging again as if you didn’t just spend half an hour crying.

Just seeing his face and hearing his voice brought on a flood of confusing emotions.

“Yeah? I-I’m fine,” You insisted.

Even though Heeseung couldn’t see your face, he saw your tears fall onto your sneakers and felt your grip curl into his shoulders.

“___, if it’s something I said or did…” Heeseung’s voice went soft, and you nearly jumped when you felt his hands slide over yours, his thumbs stroking comfortingly over your skin, “You can tell me.”

His mere touch slowly brought your anxiety down, one stroke of his thumb after the other— at the same time, it sent shivers along your skin.

It’s what you didn’t say or do.

Fear threatened to cut your voice off completely. You took several deep breaths, trying to sort out your thoughts so that you could properly convey how you were feeling.

Here was your chance to be honest with him from the get-go. It was scary, but you needed to try.

“I consider you as someone who I’m really grateful for, Heeseung. Especially after how much of your time you’ve given me this semester,” You sighed, glancing up at him even though your vision was blurry, “You’re a really talented guy. It’s just impossible to get to know you because you like to keep to yourself. I think I understand why you do. Even I don’t like letting other people in all the time...”

Something seemed to click in his mind at your words; you saw his lips part ever so slightly in realization, his eyes widening a fraction.

“... But it’s still hard to be on the receiving end of that. However, if that’s where you want me,” You pulled your hands out of his, letting them drop to your side, “Then there’s not much I can do about that.”

Quietly, you brushed past him and packed your backpack in a hurry to leave.

Heeseung fell silent behind you, and when you left him, you kept your eyes trained on the floor.

The next day, you remained in a foul mood as you chose to sit on the opposite side of your table to avoid the tension of being next to Heeseung for two hours straight. As you expected, the student who usually sat there confronted you about it.

“Hey, this is my seat. I’ve been sitting here all semester.”

You didn’t care to grant her your full attention and continued typing, “I don’t see your name on it.”

It was definitely a shitty thing to say, but you couldn’t bring yourself to give a damn at that moment.

She was stunned into silence and subsequently stomped over to the next row to take her seat next to Heeseung. There was no doubt that he overheard your confrontation.

Class sped by while you were laser-focused on completing everything you needed to get done for that period— without Heeseung’s help. At least one good thing came out of taking notes and watching Heeseung work these past several weeks; your evolving skill set. You were far from excellent, but you had gotten at least a bit better with the basics.

This time, you didn’t plan on sticking around after class.

It seemed like Heeseung was prepared for you not to because the moment you stood up and bolted to the door, he was already out of his seat, hot on your trail.

Heeseung called out your name.

You ignored him, even as he easily caught up with your pace. His silence yesterday already confirmed all you needed to know about how he felt about you.

He caught your elbow, and you stopped to look him dead in the eye. “What do you think you’re doing? Let go.”

Heeseung immediately released you, “Sorry, I just wanted to talk—“

A menacing force slammed into your back, propelling you straight into Heeseung’s chest. Someone halfway down the hall called out a sarcastic apology, but it barely registered— you were startled by how Heeseung steadied you against his hard body.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” You scowled, already shaking his hands off despite your body aching at the feeling of him so near, “What did you want now?”

Heeseung‘s eyes wavered, but he managed to hold your scrutinizing gaze.

“Do you want to grab dinner?”

He really felt the pressure of an impending ‘no’ when all you did was stare at him.

You frowned, “What?”

Heeseung gulped but continued, “You don’t have any other classes for the day, right? There’s a really good Thai place just on the edge of campus, and their Pad Thai is the best— at least within a 20-mile radius.”

Was he doing this all of a sudden because he pitied you?

“You don’t need to do this.”

Heeseung looked like he was on the verge of panicking, but just as quickly, a sense of determination overcame him.

He took a step forward, “But what if I want to?”

You looked off to the side, “I’m confused. Why all of a sudden?”

“I know it’s like I’m doing this out of the blue,” He sounded in a rush due to nerves, so he slowed down his speech, “I’m not good with words, and it’s true that I’m easily distracted by my classes. But I do care about you, ___.”

Your chest throbbed as he peered down at you from under his lashes with furrowed brows, “I know I’m usually pretty distant, and I can’t make up for everything in a night, but I really would like to talk with you over dinner… only if you want to join me.”

Heeseung’s expression appeared so hopeful, and his gaze held an amount of tenderness that had you shifting your weight under the unusual attention you were receiving.

What was that look he was giving you?

He felt you brush by him, and he hung his head.

Heeseung felt his stomach twist with guilt, he knew you wouldn’t give him a chance after how he’d been treating you—

“… Fine.”

Heeseung straightened up with wide eyes and turned to face you as you set off in the completely wrong direction.

“It’s this way,” He eagerly called after you.

You came to a quick halt, then turned back around, crossing your arms, “Lead the way then.”

He smiled to himself when he heard the unmistakable sound of your stomach grumbling ever so faintly.

Walking across campus with Heeseung was convenient because the majority of people made plenty of room for the two of you, all thanks to the giant by your side. Usually, they’d have no issue bumping shoulders with you or overlooking you.

Must be nice to be able to part seas of people, you thought enviously.

Heeseung remained quiet for the majority of the walk except for mentioning a direction here and there. All the while, you were trying to anticipate what Heeseung might have to say to you once you got to the restaurant.

The sky grew to be a deep orange by the time you entered the quaint Thai restaurant at the front of the campus. A simple aqua blue neon sign that read 01 Thai shone across asphalt above an old, cream colored building. While you considered their signature menu options, you turned Heeseung’s words over in your head.

“I do care about you, ___.”

Do you really?

“And what would you like to order?” The cashier asked you.

“Oh. I guess I’ll try the Pad Thai.”

“Anything to drink?”

“Just water, please,” You absentmindedly dug in your pocket to hand over your card, but Heeseung was already handing over his.

Your brows drew together as you quietly glanced up at him, not wanting to make a scene.

He gave you a nervous smile, “My treat.”

You looked over your shoulder for seating, “I’ll Venmo you later.”

“No need,” He shook his head, guiding you to a corner table.

“I will.”

Even from across the small wooden table, Heeseung sensed your lingering discomfort, understandably. He looked like he wanted to say something, but so did you, so he waited.

After a contemplative moment, you met his eyes and folded your hands on the table. “Heeseung, don’t tell me you're doing all this just because you feel bad.”

“No— I mean, in a way, yes. I know how I can be, and I’m sorry that you had to deal with that. I never meant to hurt you the way I did.”

I really did emotionally throw up on him yesterday, and his silence didn’t make it any better. Even now, I still feel high-strung about the whole ordeal, but he seems sorry about it…

“Listen, I get that you feel guilty, but if you really do just want to be friends, there’s no need for anything crazy. Just talking would be nice to start.”

“Right...” He stared right at you.

Your brows knit together once more at the uncertainty in his voice.

“Right,” Heeseung repeated, almost to himself, “That’s doable. Although guilt plays a significant part in driving me to do what I’m doing… Please know it’s not my only motivator.”

Heeseung startled you when he reached out to take one of your hands in his. You still looked utterly confused, so he exhaled softly before squeezing your hand and running the pad of his thumb along your knuckles, just like he did back in class.

Goosebumps immediately broke out on your skin from the heat of his touch.

Oh.

Behind his glasses, his eyes were intent; you had his full attention. “I’ve been really out of touch with people these days, and I regret it. However, I had some personal things I was working through. It’s not an excuse, but I do care about you, ___. I hope you can eventually find a way to forgive me.”

At his sudden admittance, your heart rate began to pick up. Immediately you hated how vulnerable his words made you feel, but that also meant that they were real. His forwardness rendered you genuinely speechless; even your mind drew a blank.

It seemed like he could sense it.

“I-I see,” You stared at your daintier hand in his own, then looked back up at Heeseung’s keen gaze.

His brows drew together, and his lips curled upwards ever so slightly, “Am I making you nervous?” He sounded like he was making a discovery.

Heat immediately flooded your face once more, and you took your hand back out of embarrassment.

He gnawed on his lip, his eyelids lowering a fraction, “Sorry.”

A waitress pulled up to your table with a tray of steaming bowls, and Heeseung thanked the waitress as she left while you reached for a pair of chopsticks.

“What kind of question is that?” You mumbled while you picked at your noodles. Your brain was failing to make sense of Heeseung’s feelings towards you.

He didn’t let up.

“You make me really nervous, ___,” Heeseung dared to reveal in a low voice.

As he expected, his declaration drew your attention back to him. Your eyes narrowed at Heeseung, who wore a small yet knowing smile, clearly trying to get a rise out of you.

Is this really the same guy who chased me down to grab dinner with him?

Little did you know the boy sitting across from you was attuned to your every movement— from the quickened pace of your breath to the twitch of your leg when his knee brushed against yours underneath the table.

Naturally, he would be after spending so much time at your side for the past couple of months, taking note of your little habits and mannerisms.

He also knew you’d be skeptical for a while after this, that it would take time to prove his sincerity once more. Heeseung was willing to overcome that by any means.

When Heeseung realized he had stunned you into silence, he finally looked down at his own plate. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop teasing. Let’s eat before it gets cold.”

“Agreed,” You were grateful for the change of subject because you just barely survived his sudden undivided attention. Also, you were beyond famished.

All the while, your mouth was watering at the sight of the food, so you took a bite of the Pad Thai and savored the flavorful spices on your tongue. It was pretty damn good, Heeseung had taste. One bite of noodles, and suddenly, you felt as though you were gaining back your senses.

He’s kind of flirty, isn’t he?

After several more bites and a nice gulp of cold water, you felt ready to hold a proper conversation.

“Don’t bullshit me anymore, Heeseung,” You commented, propping your chin up on your palm.

He chuckled softly, and you squinted his way.

“I’ll try my best, ___.”

Over dinner, Heeseung allowed you to delve into his mind, which was certainly a treat.

Not without difficulty, of course.

His answers remained vague unless you pressed further; it was like pulling teeth, but you could tell he was trying. With enough persistence, he divulged you.

“Do you just really like to keep a low profile?” You asked, referencing his deflection of your attempts at conversing with him during class, “I mean, I figured you just found me annoying.”

Heeseung slowly began, “I wasn’t in the best headspace this semester. Things at my old job weren’t going well at all, and those issues combined with the stress of my classes resulted in me feeling very closed off from my surroundings.”

You scratched your cheek. “I see. How does that usually affect you?”

“I tend to isolate myself under pressure, and it becomes difficult for me to connect with… well, those around me,” Heeseung explained, running his fingers back and forth over the grain of the tabletop.

“Hm, that’s tough. Honestly, you always seem like you have your shit together.”

Heeseung shook his head, “It’s… a facade of sorts.”

“Well, a lot of people have one,” Your eyes wandered down to your plate, it had been scraped clean for a while.

The shop was empty save for you two, it must’ve been growing closer to closing time, what with the moonlight shining through the windows.

“Yeah? What’s yours?”

Ah, now it’s his turn to take a shot at me.

Being vulnerable was difficult, especially with all of Heeseung’s attention on you. Silence fell over you two, but he waited, even when it felt like you weren’t going to speak.

“Probably enjoying being alone. Not that I don’t, but it depends on how I’m feeling that day. I see independence and loneliness as two sides of the same coin.”

It was the truth, to an extent. You enjoyed the benefits of being independent, but there was a fine line between that and being lonely.

“It’s a normal human thing to go through,” You shrugged.

It’s how I’ve always been, and it usually keeps me safe. But I can’t believe I just admitted that to another person, let alone Heeseung. Though that’s the whole point of this conversation, isn’t it?

“Um, anyways…“

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel lonely.”

Your eyes flitted to Heeseung’s expression; he seemed cautious yet sincere.

“Don’t be. It’s not your responsibility to make me feel otherwise.”

It was a difficult realization to come to, and as such, you gave a detached response. In due time you’d have to see if he meant everything that he said.

With an inward sigh, you felt disappointment replace the anger that had been slowly filtering out of your system for the past hour. Heeseung was willing to try to be friends, which was more than you could’ve asked for, so deep down, you fought your desire for him. You were being given the chance to take things day by day and come to terms with the reality of your situation.

“Besides, being lonely is a good skill to have. It’s weird to say out loud, but I really think it is,” You stated, glancing out the window into the dimly lit streets, “It’s useful and easier than most people think.”

When Heeseung said nothing in response, you turned to look at him once more, wanting to hear his voice.

Something from him, anything.

Instead, you met those dark brown eyes behind his glasses; they contained a mix of something you couldn’t place and a tinge of sadness, but most surprisingly– knowing.

You fidgeted with the hairband on your wrist. “What? What’s wrong?”

Heeseung spoke, “Nothing… What do you mean?”

His question seemed hollow as if he feigned confusion; his eyes told you everything yet nothing, all at once– like he could see right through you.

You shook your head, voice coming out as a whisper, “I don’t know… You’re making me nervous again.”

“Sorry,” Heeseung blinked and shifted his eyes elsewhere, and suddenly you felt like you could breathe, but just barely.

He distractedly removed his glasses to pinch at his nose bridge, and that’s when your breath caught in your chest.

A slight smile tugged at your lips, “Hey, you look different without your glasses.” You were apt to change the subject.

“Oh, really?” Heeseung moved to adjust them back in place quickly.

“Wait,” you leaned over the table and placed your hand on his to stop him, wanting a better look, “You look really handsome. Not that you don’t with them on, but….”

Heeseung noted how intrigued you looked, the fascination brightening your features. It was certainly a contrast to the way you regarded him just a moment before. “I’ve worn glasses my whole life. I don’t look odd without them?”

“No, but I think you’re cute either way—“ You curiously brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes, and his brows rose in surprise.

Upon realizing what you had done, you promptly sat back in your seat and stuffed your hands in your pockets.

“I— You just look different,” You tried to cover up your embarrassment with a smile.

You hadn’t intended on getting touchy, but you just couldn't help it. Then again, he comfortably initiated way more physical contact with you today than he had all semester.

Heeseung quietly glanced off to the side, and then his eyes were back on you without a moment’s notice, observing.

Ah, there’s that churning sensation in my stomach again.

Even though you could see his eyes clear as day, you couldn’t read him as easily this time.

“Thanks,” His eyes flitted away as he fixed his glasses back in place.

Uh-oh. Did I mess up? Did I turn him off by touching his hair? Or with my comments on his appearance?

“We better go, I think they’re closing,” You rubbed your cheek while throwing your backpack over your shoulder, “Thank you for dinner.”

“Sure. Thanks for hearing me out… and for sharing,” Heeseung led you to the door and held it open for you.

His voice sounded odd, almost tight.

“Yeah...”

It had been a rollercoaster of a day so far; you weren’t sure what kind of note you were going to end it on.

The brisk night air hit your skin and made you shudder. You turned towards the bus stop across the street, anticipating an arrival soon, “I’m headed over here. I guess I’ll see you in class?”

When you glanced back over your shoulder, Heeseung was looking after you in such a way that caused you to freeze. His demeanor had shifted from the start of dinner to now like there was a barely tamed intensity about him. He felt unpredictable— he even seemed on edge.

What was going on? Maybe you really stepped on his toes earlier with your comment about his glasses. It certainly wasn’t your intention; you meant it as a compliment.

He could’ve been self-conscious about it, you idiot!

Heeseung gave you a curt nod, “Get home safely, okay?”

You frowned.

“Okay…” You paused before giving him a quick hug.

Next to free food and a bit of communication, hugs diffused most escalating situations, right?

But even to you, it felt like a blur; you barely gave him enough time to return it, and then you were slipping out of his grasp just as quickly as you had drawn close.

“Bye,” You whispered.

Taken aback, Heeseung dropped his arms to his sides as he watched you jog across the street to board the bus that arrived a moment before and nearly took off without you.

He inhaled deeply.

Now, his whole body ached.

Oh, he hated you even more for that.

The cold suddenly seeped into his skin. It hadn’t affected him until you left his side.

Your bus took off just as his phone faintly vibrated in his pocket. He lost count of how many times it had gone off during his dinner with you, but he hardly paid it any attention. He ignored it for the past two months but couldn’t bring himself to block the number.

Finally, he decided to answer it.

“Heeseung! Do you know how many times I’ve called you today? And the day before? Over the past eight fucking weeks? We were supposed to meet–”

“I was at dinner—” Heeseung immediately kicked himself for even sparing an excuse. There was no need to anymore. “Please stop calling me.”

His thumb hovered over the button to hang up and block her number; he should’ve done it earlier.

“Don’t do this to me, love.”

Anger slithered up his veins, “How else do you expect me to act after all that you’ve done?”

“What you saw wasn’t what it looked like—“

Beep—

That’s what she’d said in the hundreds of voicemails she left, or so he guessed. Listening to one was sufficient.

From that day on, Heeseung dialed back on the forwardness he displayed in terms of physical contact with you, and you couldn’t figure out why for the life of you. However, your conversations in class were plentiful and on friendlier terms, save for the interesting underlying tension that persisted through his frequent teasing comments and lasting stares.

That’s not to say there was a complete absence of flirtatious touching, he simply wasn’t as outright with it. But you noted each subtle instance with amusement whether it was a tap on the shoulder, a bump to the knee or an accidental brush of hands when he’d reach for your mouse.

He seemed somewhat back to normal compared to how you left him that one night, but something definitely changed between you two.

On the other hand, you soon discovered the breadth of his sense of humor. The off-handed, dry comments he’d whisper about some odd gesture or explanation the professor would make had you snorting in your seat— turns out you weren’t the only one who occasionally got annoyed with the way your professor taught.

Even so, together, you both managed.

Thai food after class became a routine for you both, a couple of times a week. Ever since Heeseung made an effort to open up, sometimes you’d talk up until the last bus was available for you to catch if he didn’t have work, and other times, you’d work on assignments together.

For every question you asked him, it tickled you that he had one for you of equal measure. These brief moments with Heeseung stood out from your otherwise mundane campus life. Unfortunately, things didn’t always go according to plan.

One evening, a meeting with your advisor concerning your schedule for next semester ran over time significantly and you were 30 minutes late to your dinner at 01 Thai with Heeseung.

The frigid air lashed across your face the moment you stepped outside the administration building causing you to wince. It was an evening filled with storm clouds, and the sun had long set; it was starting to get darker earlier in the day. You reached into your pocket to update Heeseung on your whereabouts but let out a frustrated grunt when you realized your phone had died on you.

Fuck.

The restaurant was on the complete other side of campus so you decided to cut through a back way that was a bit more obscure but quicker than usual. The first droplets of rain hit your skin before it turned into an outright downpour by the time you were half way across campus.

Just my luck.

There weren’t a whole lot of shaded areas along the buildings in the back route you took so you braced yourself through the chill until the droplets began to feel like ice pellets. It was too much so you chose to take shelter when you came upon the first shaded area that came into view near the back exit of a building.

Something on the floor caught your eye as you quickly approached. A dog with soaked fur was curled up on its stomach and appeared to be breathing irregularly. On instinct, you kneeled down to run your hand over its fur, and it let out a thin whine.

“Oh, you poor thing. Where’s your owner?”

You felt along its furry chin for a tag and found purchase in a sleek, black collar. However, there was no tag with an owner's contact to be found.

Maybe it’s a high-tech tracking collar?

With your back against the wall, you slid down to sit for a moment, enduring the mist that the wind blew against you both, cradling the dog close. “I don’t think the rain will let up any time soon… You don’t wanna come with? You just wanna stay here and wait for your owner, huh?”

The dog merely blinked up at you.

“Alright, then you need this more than I do. Hopefully they’re just around the corner…”

You shrugged off your jacket and used it to dry off the pup a bit before swaddling it in the fabric. After you finished and went to scratch its chin, it licked your palm non-stop.

“You’re welcome,” You stood up with a giggle and readjusted your backpack. Although it was storming, if you let Heeseung wait any longer it would give him the wrong idea.

You received stares from other students the moment you stepped through the restaurant doors since the single layer of your T-shirt was soaked through. Immediately you crossed your arms over your chest but made a beeline towards Heeseung who sat in the corner.

He looked you over with concern.

You couldn’t help but stutter from the cold, “S-sorry. My meeting ran late with my advisor and my phone died—“

“It’s okay, I figured. Weren’t you wearing a jacket in class earlier?”

“I—I may have given it away…”

“To who?”

“To a dog I saw on the way here…?”

You realized how ridiculous it sounded once you said it out loud, but the soft spot you had towards canines made you do silly things from time to time.

Heeseung raised a brow at that, “Did you just lose it?”

“Sure, I lost it on this awfully cold day, ” You rolled your eyes.

Heeseung shook his head with a snort, and tugged his hoodie over his head, “Well, why don’t you change out of that?”

A chill racked through your body but you brushed it off, until you glanced down to see your shirt plastered to your body and around the prominent outline of your black bra.

“Um….”

“Here,” Heeseung deposited his hoodie into your arms before you could refuse, “I’ll ask them for a plastic bag to hold your clothing. Your food just came out, so go change.”

“Thanks.”

As you ignored the stares from others occupying the restaurant and clicked the restroom door shut, you gave yourself a once over in the mirror.

There really wasn’t a spot on you that wasn’t damp. You stripped out of your top and bra then proceeded to squeeze them out over the sink before tossing them into a plastic bag. You dried down as much as you could with a wad of paper towels then tugged Heeseung’s hoodie over your head.

Immediately, you were enveloped by his scent; a light sweetness with new undertones of soft musk you hadn’t detected before. The fabric was still warm against your skin with his body heat which made you feel odd.

You slowly tugged the collar up to your nose then dropped the fabric abruptly.

Let’s not make this weird. It certainly beats being cold and wet.

Heeseung eyed you once you remerged. “I ate already and was about to go looking for you to drop off your food.”

You plopped down across from him. “Yeah, sorry. Do you have to go soon?”

He glanced at his phone screen. “In about 10 minutes, for work. I’ll hang out for a while, though.”

“You don’t wanna work on an assignment while I eat?”

Heeseung pressed his cheek against his palm and leaned onto his elbow, his languid eyes on you, “Mm-mm.”

You stared at him before proceeding to shovel the tasty noodles into your mouth, “Okay.”

Heeseung chuckled, “How’d your meeting go?”

“Fine, I guess. My advisor thought he screwed up and almost made me think I had to take an extra two classes, but we straightened that out. I’m on track, and I’ll have a decent load to finish off next semester since it’s my last.”

Heeseung looked like he was in thought as you shared your schedule with him.

“None of those classes ring a bell.”

That fact bummed you out, more than you’d ever show. “Oh, really? What’s your semester looking like next year?”

“Hm, since it’s my last semester too, I’m thinking of going for an internship, it’s about time.”

You dabbed at your lips with a napkin, “That’s actually really good. I need to do that…”

“It’ll help when you apply for jobs, for sure.”

The impending doom of your future weighed heavily on your shoulders, and Heeseung seemed to notice you suddenly felt burdened.

“So, you like dogs?”

You glanced up mid-chew, “I do!”

“Did you really give a dog your jacket?” Heeseung squinted.

“Would you believe me if I said yes?”

“Maybe the second time around,” He was amused at how you pouted, “What breeds do you like?”

“I like all breeds. The funniest dogs are ones that are like humans. During last thanksgiving there was this one dog at my aunt’s that wouldn’t let me pet him at first. So, I let him be and sat in the living room alone, but every so often he would saunter in and get closer to me every time,” You laughed at the memory, “Then eventually he got so close, I just stuck my hand out and he pressed up against me for pets. Finicky but adorable…”

Heeseung cleared his throat, and wore a sheepish expression, “Sounds like it… You don’t own any dogs?”

“Not yet. I’m saving up and waiting ‘till I’m done with school. I want to be able to give it the attention it deserves.”

“I think that’s smart.”

You sighed, “Yeah… I wish I had one.”

As you finished your food, Heeseung finally said what was truly on his mind.

“You should be more careful about walking around campus without a working phone. It gets dark faster these days,” He began.

His scolding caught you off guard.

“I am cautious, I’m not dumb,” You interrupted, “And I didn’t mean to. I would’ve charged it in the library or something but I didn’t want to keep you waiting—“

“It would’ve been fine if you left me waiting a little longer to do that. It’s such a big campus where anything could happen when you least expect it, so you should always have your phone on,” Heeseung motioned for you to hand over your phone, “And I know you know that.”

You pouted but dropped it into his hand, and he connected it to a portable charger he took out of his backpack, “Alright, mother.”

Heeseung sighed but gave you a small smile anyways.

“Are you still at your old job or did you start your new one already?” You asked since Heeseung felt at liberty to say what he wanted.

Heeseung’s eyes turned troubled. “Still there. Just for a little while longer.”

You pressed, “Where do you work?”

Heeseung’s lips parted to answer but he seemed to think better of it.

“It’s not the greatest place,” Heeseung checked his phone and stood up, “Sorry, I’ve gotta go. See you.”

You bit your tongue. “Won’t you get all wet if you’re walking to work?”

“Uber,” was all he said with a tight smile, “Don’t worry about it. Get home safe.”

Heeseung left you his charger as he stepped outside into the rain, the deep slope of his shoulders inciting a sense of regret in you. Perhaps you shouldn’t have pushed him on the topic when it was clearly sensitive for him. He didn’t deserve your snappy attitude after he expressed his worry for you either… but you knew he wouldn’t hold you to it because that’s the kind of person he was.

When you weren’t grabbing dinner with Heeseung, there were evenings when you would pour over your studies and meet Rin in the library, like you always had.

“So, how are your otome games going? On to the next one?” She questioned.

Oh shit. You’ve been neglecting your pixel husbands basically since the start of the semester—

“I actually haven’t touched any games in a while.”

“Really now?” Rin seemed unsurprised at such a revelation as she continued, “How about that coding class? These days you seem less stressed about it….”

“Yeah, I finally picked up a thing or two. There’s actually this guy who’s been—“

Rin jumped out of her seat and pointed at you accusingly, the screech of her chair drawing annoyed looks from other students.

“I’ve been fucking waiting for you to bring him up!”

Your eyes widened, “Wait, how do you—”

“Shhhh!” Someone hushed.

You both put your heads together and dropped your voices to a whisper.

“How do you know Heeseung?”

Rin explained everything in detail, perhaps too much detail. Figuring out Heeseung consulted her the day you cried in front of him made your face burn.

Apparently, he hung out enough in the library to recognize Rin as your friend, although you certainly had never seen him while studying.

“Truthfully, at first, I was mad at the guy for upsetting you; the dude was too honest for his own good and actually told me he was in deep shit with you. I nearly caused a scene in here, but he seemed really apologetic and genuine about wanting to make things right with you.

So, I told him food was the way to your heart, but I warned him you’d be a little stuck up about paying for yourself. Seriously, you have the weirdest eating schedule just to achieve ‘optimal efficiency’ and avoid ‘brain fog’ or whatever,” Rin grinned.

Well, she wasn’t wrong. Free food definitely helped on top of everything else Heeseung managed to pull off since then.

“I appreciate that, but I can’t believe you knew about everything the entire time,” You felt a tad guilty for not looping her in on the situation, having thought she would’ve teased you about it, “And that he actually went out of his way to ask you about me….”

You couldn’t help but look at him a little differently now. He was serious.

“Well, I only knew what happened up until that day, but you seemed better these past several weeks, so it looks like my advice worked.”

You slid further into your seat and stared up at the ceiling, “Yeah, I suppose it did.”

“I didn’t want to ruin anything, so I stayed quiet. He’s very cute,” She grinned at you.

You paused, “We’re just friends.”

“What? All that drama for a friendship?”

“Hm…”

Rin rose an impeccably plucked brow at you.

“Yes,” You sighed, patting her head.

Your friend pouted, “I would’ve guessed otherwise, girl. There’s still time, though.”

Was there?

Soon enough, another month had flown by— finals were around the corner, and both you and Heeseung were typing up code for your class project when you ran into your first distressing issue in a while.

You called to him without taking your eyes off the screen, “Hey, something’s off, and I can’t figure out what. I swear if it’s just an extra period somewhere, I’m gonna—“

Heeseung was at your side in a heartbeat, “Let me see.”

You scooted your chair over to make room for his, but he got comfortable on the floor. “Stop kneeling. You know you’re gonna permanently fuck up your kneecaps, right?”

“I’m used to it,” He said simply before he froze up as if he had said something wrong.

Assuming that he was poking at you, you scoffed, “I don’t ask you for help that often anymore, Hee.”

Heeseung cleared his throat and got to work on your code, “No, I know.”

While you waited for him to finish diagnosing the issue, you secretly inhaled his familiar, comforting scent of sweet lavender out of habit.

You saw him smirk out of the corner of your eye.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Seriously, what?”

He shrugged, “You’re doing that thing you do every time I get close.”

Fuck. When did he even– Fuck—

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The tapping of keys halted.

A mischievous lilt made its way into his voice as he faced you, “We’re gonna go that route?”

“Yes. Yes, we are because you are not going to out me here,” You hissed under your breath.

“Ha, so you admit that you do take a whiff—“

You took hold of his jaw and forced him to face your computer screen, “Focus.”

Heeseung eyes darkened, but he let out a chuckle.

You were pressing two fingers to your temple and looking anywhere but at him, so you failed to notice. For the moment, you put aside your pride and stayed quiet until he figured out what the hell was wrong with your project.

God, how embarrassing.

A few keyboard and mouse clicks later, and Heeseung was settling back into his seat. “It was an extra period on line 976.”

“Of course it was,” You rolled your eyes and heard him laugh even harder. He was quick to figure out how often he could test your patience…

“Why do you always smell like pastries?” Your sudden question came out as an accusation.

At this point in your friendship, you found yourself blurting out random things that were on your mind when with Heeseung, and he managed to learn how to go with the flow.

“I bake in my spare time,” He said, clearly amused.

You gawked at the new discovery, “I—I guess that explains it….”

“I’ve always baked, it’s sort of just a hobby I never thought to share.”

You swore there was always something to learn about the guy, even at the quick rate that you’d gotten to know him.

“Well, what do you do with all the stuff you make? Keep them all for yourself?” You jabbed at Heeseung.

“No, I just…” His voice quietly tapered off, so you were unable to catch his last words.

“You what?”

“I’ll just give it away to the homeless on the street if I deem it edible,” He muttered.

“Huh,” You turned to Heeseung, “That’s actually really sweet.”

“It’s nothing,” He pressed his lips together and continued, “By the way, I just started my new job, and my shift is in the evening, so… we’re going to have to postpone Thai nights.”

“Oh. You started your new job finally?” Your heart and stomach dropped; you were so looking forward to it before you’d have to really buckle down for finals, “I guess we’ll have to postpone them. The timing, though….”

Postpone them until when? The two of you had completely different tracks from here on out. Would he even want to hang out with you next semester when there was nothing else to bind your schedules together?

Heeseung leaned over to rest his elbows on his knees, appearing contemplative while watching you cycle through the endless thoughts in your mind.

“I work at this new cafe about ten minutes away from campus. Do you want to drop by and check it out after class? If you want, you could study there until I get off, and then we can have dinner at my place.”

Dinner at his place?

He saw the way your eyes blew up, and he couldn’t tell if it was in shock or excitement.

“Don’t feel pressured, it was just a thought,” Heeseung brushed off a piece of lint on your knee, his touch lingering, “I get off at around 10:00, so it’d be a later-than-usual dinner.”

“S-sure,” Your voice pitched unusually high, and you nearly threw up in your mouth.

Geez, calm down!

Heeseung looked pleased as he stood up from his desk and slung his backpack over his shoulder, “Shall we?”

The moment you stepped foot in the new cafe, your body appreciated the drastic change in temperature inside, the weather was extremely chilly these days. Didn’t change the fact that you’d order something iced, though.

“Take a look at the menu, I need to get changed, and I’ll be right out to make you something to drink,” Heeseung ushered you further into the store, his hand at your lower back.

“No problem,” You held Heeseung’s warm gaze and forgot to breathe.

As Heeseung set off to the back, you exhaled and took in the bright, cozy interior of the cafe along with its high ceilings. Evening light filtered through the tall windows, casting the whole place in warmth.

What a nice cafe to work at. I could study here more often too.

The aroma of ground coffee beans and sweet pastries filled your nose, causing your brain to perk up at the thought of caffeine even though it was evening. The people that occupied the space were relatively quiet– the seats were mainly filled with a few students and young professionals.

An empty table was waiting for you in the corner, so you set down your belongings there and pulled out your wallet. Curious about their menu, you returned to the counter to consider the items.

A handsome, light-haired young man eagerly approached from behind the bar upon seeing you, “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

Your brain raced for an answer even though you were supposed to wait for Heeseung. “Um, I’ll try the iced matcha latte….”

“Perfect,” He gave you a thousand-watt smile, “Anything else I can get you? We have macarons that we bake daily.”

“Sure,” You considered the colorful rows of macarons behind the glass counter, “I’ll try a lavender one and a vanilla bean.”

As the boy picked out your macarons, you imagined how Heeseung might look like working his shift here, from his mannerisms to his barista skills and if he dealt with customers easily or not. It was something you’d never thought of previously since you had no clue about his work.

“I threw in a couple of other popular flavors on the house,” the boy gave you a wink, making you blush unexpectedly.

“Oh, thank you so much!”

The barista took a step to his right without taking his eyes off you and bumped right into Heeseung, who suddenly appeared. You noticed he looked especially cute in his work uniform, somehow fitting your exact image of how a barista would look in his white button-down and his chestnut-colored apron. A smile made its way onto your face; his glasses completed the coffee connoisseur look.

“Sorry, man—“

“Hey, no worries. I’ll ring her up,” Your eyes widened at the slight insistence in Heeseung’s voice that left no room for argument, “Jake, meet ___.”

“Hey,” Jake gave you a little wave, despite looking a bit confused at why Heeseung intercepted.

“___, this is my friend Jake. He also goes to our University,” He mentioned while tinkering with the cash register.

You took out your card and gave Jake a shy smile, “Oh, nice. Great to meet you.”

He winked at you, “Likewise.”

Apparently, only hot people work here, you surmised.

You thought you saw Heeseung pout at the exchange between you and Jake, but whether or not he actually did, he ignored your card and handed over your bag of macarons, swiftly stepping away to prepare your drink.

“Wait, I need to pay—“

“I’ve got you. It’ll just be a few minutes,” he called over his shoulder and got to work.

Your cheeks grew warm.

Why did he have to act so sweet sometimes?

“I mean, I knew you had a girlfriend, but you should’ve told me she was dropping by,” Jake chuckled as he pulled up by Heeseung’s side.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She’s not?” Jake questioned.

“But I’m interested in her,” Heeseung clarified while frothing your matcha latte a bit too aggressively.

“Aw,” Jake moped, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, “That’s too bad, she’s kinda….”

When it went silent, Jake playfully glanced over at Heeseung, who was staring him down. He slapped him on the back, “Only messing with you, dude.”

“Right.”

Just as you finished unpacking and settling in at the corner table, Heeseung approached with your matcha latte in hand and set it down in front of you.

“That was quick,” You felt giddy getting the special treatment.

“Give it a try, and let me know if it needs anything.”

You stirred the pretty green liquid with the straw and took a sip, glancing up at Heeseung as you did so. Heeseung bit his lip and tilted his head expectantly.

“It’s perfect.”

“Good, just let me know if you need anything,” He smiled, but before he could leave, you caught his sleeve.

“Wait, have a macaron before you go. Jake gave me a lot,” You randomly chose the dusty pink one that smelled like roses and held it up for him to take.

Instead, he drew close, placing his hand on the back of your chair to steady himself, parted his lips, and waited. You glanced up at him to check if he was joking, but the glimmer in his eye said otherwise.

Woah—

Brain on autopilot, you fed it to him, and he took a bite out of the fresh macaron.

He licked at his lips and smirked at you, “Thanks.”

After he disappeared behind the counter, you dropped your forehead into your hand, flabbergasted. You just knew your face was so red.

This crazy ass—

What, did he expect you to finish the remainder of the macaron?

This was too much for you to handle– Heeseung was too much for you to handle today.

And, of course, you finished it.

Two hours flew by at your table while you were jamming to some nostalgic tunes in your own little world while studying for your upcoming finals.

Feeling the urge to stretch, you took off your headphones and extended your stiff limbs with a wince.

Condensation ran down your empty glass of matcha, and you had finished nibbling on your macarons earlier. Besides the lavender and vanilla flavors you had chosen, the rose one was pretty aromatic, and the other strawberries and cream flavor Jake picked out for you was delicious. The snacks certainly whet your appetite, and now you were more than looking forward to having dinner with Heeseung… at his place.

You peered at Heeseung over the top of your laptop as he kept busy behind the espresso bar; Jake was a very charismatic cashier, as you experienced first-hand, while Heeseung was rather efficient at serving up beverages and hopping in to take orders when needed. They seemed to handle themselves well as a team, as far as you could tell from the past couple of hours.

Girls and guys often wandered in to gawk at the two, and you completely understood why. Nonetheless, it didn’t help the surge of discomfort you felt when you caught two girls checking Heeseung out from behind. There was nothing you could do but seethe in your seat.

Relax. They’re not the ones headed home with him tonight.

Ah, that reminder helped, sort of.

Now you were feeling antsy about the fact that Heeseung had invited you over in the first place. There was no way you prepared in any way, shape or form with how little heads up he gave you, but you couldn’t have easily passed up the opportunity to get a look at his place and spend more time with him.

And if he baked, he had to be a good cook, no?

The chatty girls ended up being the last customers to leave the cafe, except for you in the corner, partially anxious but mostly content because you were alone, and so was Heeseung.

After a quiet period, you were drawn from your studies when a woman who stood out from the average patron strolled into the cafe. She was dressed well enough to convince you that she was a model or at least an influencer of sorts, especially by the confident way she held herself.

Jake welcomed her warmly, and you were about to slip your headphones back on when you heard her speak, “Hello. Does Heeseung work here?”

“Yeah! Do you want me to get him for you? He’s prepping food in the back.”

“Please.”

Who is she? A friend?

Jake made his way to the back kitchens. “Hey, Heeseung! Someone’s here to see you!”

“One sec,” You heard Heeseung call.

The woman stood calmly and patiently at the counter; she appeared to be in her mid-twenties and looked sharp in all-black fashion with a set of alluring, shadowy eyes. An uneasy feeling passed through your stomach at the way she suddenly rolled her shoulders and neck— you couldn’t put a finger on it, but if it involved Heeseung, you didn’t like it.

Heeseung emerged from the kitchen doors, and you became deeply concerned at how his face went stoic upon seeing the mysterious woman. Jake sensed something was off as well and looked back and forth between the two.

“Hi. I hope I caught you at a good time. As you know, I’ve been wanting to chat,” Her tone was overtly sweet.

Heeseung rounded the counter and approached her, dropping his voice to an inaudible murmur.

Whispers were exchanged between them; you focused on trying to read their lips, but it was difficult. They were familiar with each other, that much you could tell. However, they couldn’t have looked like more complete opposites.

Feeling that you were being nosy, you stopped staring and returned to your project at hand, not wanting to overstep any further.

A sharp slap followed by a harsh clatter resounded in the empty cafe, alerting you.

Shocked, your head whipped towards the source of the noise, only to see Heeseung, whose face was angled away from you. Your sights landed on his glasses on the tile floor.

The woman standing in front of him took an easy breath, but the way she flicked her wrist gave away her rage.

Somehow, you were already standing from your seat, crossing the floor, “Excuse me. Did you just–”

The woman kept her eyes trained on Heeseung, “Mind your own business, love.”

Jake jumped in front of you, waving his hands, “Jesus— Easy, easy. I’ll handle this.”

Red filled your vision once your brain registered what had happened, but you had enough sense to stand your ground a safe distance away— for that woman’s sake.

“Get her out of here before I do it myself,” you gritted out.

Jake nodded and was quick to address the woman, “Miss, I’m not sure what’s going on, but you can’t just assault our staff. I’m going to have to ask you to leave immediately due to store policy.”

She eyed you, and her sharp expression slowly morphed into a feigned smile, startling you.

“Just one more thing,” She inclined her chin towards Heeseung, “Then we’ll chat back at my place after you wrap up here, alright, love?”

Heeseung’s gaze flickered at the woman, but he said nothing.

She sauntered up to him, much too close for anyone’s comfort, and reached out to take hold of his chin, her sharp nails gauging into his skin. Stunned, you watched him shut his eyes tightly, how his brows drew together— and then he caught her wrist before she could get any closer.

Heeseung spoke in an extremely deliberate tone, “No. This is the last time I’ll be saying this to you. We’re finished. We’ve been finished. Do you understand?”

As the woman’s fingers curled into a fist, so did yours.

“Leave. If I see you bothering any customers or staff who occupy this space, I’ll let the authorities deal with you,” He warned.

“I’ve taken care of you since we were children, Heeseung.”

The statement took you by surprise.

“We’re done talking,” Heeseung tugged her past you and Jake towards the cafe entrance. She pulled back on his grip, but he remained unfazed.

The two of you watched him take her outside and proceed to lock up the front of the store. Jake quickly followed and began to pull down the blinds as the woman pressed up against the windows. Her eyes slowly dragged over your form in the most demeaning manner.

“Talk about a crazy ex,” Jake murmured to no one in particular, pressing his back against the covered window. You exhaled heavily, speechless at the turn of events.

When you bent over to pick up Heeseung’s glasses and inspect them, you noticed a lens had cracked. One could only imagine how much the slap must’ve stung.

Heeseung touched the small of your back, “I’m really sorry you had to see that.”

Feeling left in the dark, you turned around and gave him a look of confusion, “Exactly how long has it been since you broke up with your ex?”

“Since the start of the semester,” Heeseung answered right away, “This is the first time I’ve seen her since. I don’t know how she found out about my new job.”

“And she still can’t take a hint?” Jake asked while cleaning up behind the register.

“She will now because I’m not entertaining her games.”

You felt relief, but you immediately regretted the question.

What a thing for me to ask after everything that just took place, you thought, ashamed.

“Are you okay?” Your hand was shaky when you reached out to touch his cheek.

His fingers brushed against the back of your hand in reassurance.

“I’m fine. I’ll be better once we get out of here and grab something to eat back at my place,” He managed to give you a small smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

#heeseung smut #heeseung x female reader #heeseung x reader #enhypen smut #lee heeseung smut #heeseung hard hours #enhypen hard hours #heeseung fic #heeseung ff #heeseung fanfic #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen fanfic #enhypen ff

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nights-at-crystarium · 9 months

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You know what, I assume that people always read my pinned, or notice the pointer "new reader? start here" in every new Fragments' episode. I might be deluding myself. So hi hello lemme TALK ABOUT MY COMIC.

Before I get too rambly (and I mean RAMBLY), here's a quick intro. Fragments is a comic focused on feels and slice of life, made by a queer guy, aiming to ~character study~ the main cast (Vivi, Raha, Alisaie, Feo Ul) and fill in the gaps in canon (or linger in canon moments that needed more air imo), the tone ranging from angst to fluff to meme. Good punches require a good windup, so please don't expect angst anytime soon :3c

The story's segmented (fragmented, heh) into episodes. Episodes 1-11 take place in ARR, you can enjoy them with no worry about spoilers. Episode 12 onward is ShB, with all the spoilers and lorebending.

My storytelling style assumes you haven't only played through ShB, but know it like the back of your hand, i.e. it's for nerds and thinkers. Of course there's plenty of silly moments that don't require any deep knowledge, but the overarching story does. Often I skip canon events, only hinting that they took place, simply because I don't wanna retell the msq 1:1, I've got plenty of original scenes waiting to be drawn. You're in for a treat if you like obsessing over emotional and moral implications of things. And, yes, this's a story about a morally grey mc. Don't expect to be spoon-fed "and this's why that thing's bad, kids".

Currently I've outlined all the main story beats up until post EW, so it's like, not being winged as I go. Yes I refine things here and there, but I know where I'm going. I'm going ham!!!! With the lorebending post ShB. Initially I didn't plan to, but the more I learned about Vivi and personally grew as a writer, the more courage I got to "divorce" from canon. The general xiv story may still be good wherever it's headed, but it's not suited for an established wolgraha, so I'm making food for myself.

Everyone imagines the lil scenes from their wol's life, I'm taking that a tiiiiiny step further. Fragments tells a cohesive story that's looking to be the longest project at least in our corner. I can and will hyperfixate on this for years.

I started out just like many others, being hit with ShB like a truck, I wanted to put a catboy under a microscope and rotate him forever. Although I'd already been drawing for decades, I didn't have the comic-making skills yet, or eloquence to write the dialogue, so I spent the first half of 2022 self-studying, just because I needed a mouth to be able to scream about my ship.

Vivi didn't exist prior to my obsession with Exarch. He was made for this, he started out as a reagent (or a foil, now that I know fancy writing terms) for a rich and fun chemistry, and keep myself entertained for years, first and foremost.

Me, a fool: okay let's make a guy that falls in love with Exarch in this particular moment, what kinda life must he have led to- Me: ....oh no

The chemistry quickly bubbled up and exploded in my face, involving not only Exarch, but other characters (first as a means to subtly tell about Vivi, then they also demanded their own screentime), and here I am, sitting with a massive script on my hands, drawing my blorbos every day. Thanks for enabling that btw.

I care about characters a lot. I ask a lot of whys and hows. I'm critical-minded and burned on many bad stories that did their characters dirty, and I wanna be an opposing example. What I'm doing is extremely ambitious and risky, yes, but I can only invite you to tag along and see if I stick to my word.

The internet's a cruel and unforgiving place nowadays, and here I am, pitting my passion against what feels like decaying humanity. I'm making this comic to keep myself happy above all else, being sincere and cringe because life's too short to be anything else.

Thanks for reading this, and if you haven't yet, read Fragments here!

#ffxiv #vivien rell #crystal exarch #g'raha tia #wol x g'raha tia #wolgraha #own: next lvl #fragments talk

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viisator · 2 years

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Argument with Ni-ki

Tittle: Argument with Ni-ki

Pairings: Nishimura Riki X F!Reader

Genre: Friends to Lovers (fluff)

Warning: Jealous Ni-ki.

Summary: Nishimura and you are friends, and you have a big fat crush on him, and he is aware. But what you--and he is not aware, is that he quite finds you cute, he longs your presence, he always wants to hear your voice and he secretly stalks you Instagram. and all there's left to do is be honest with you and to himself and kaboom! He gets you. no need to stalk each other.

Not Proofread

Short scenario • • •

+so, I changed the tittle, the old one was "Friends to something" which later on I find quite cringy, so I tried to change it to smth simple.

(Idek why I wrote this...and I was writing this on paper WITH MY GRANDPA LOOKING. it was so embarrassing I have to cover my notebook....and I'm sorry it's short.)

– Can I have a request, please? After/before you read this(thanks for checking this out btw) like or reblog, or both; is really appreciated!! And it will help my blogs reach other ppl too!! Thank you!! Have a good time reading!! –

• • • • •

Riki stormed inside his room with you after dragging you out of the mall after he spotted you with your friends.

"How many times do I have to fuckin' tell you to stop wearing that fuckin' shirt."His voice was calm, his voice is its lowest, he was not shouting, but his voice are venomous, he was digging his eyes into your soul, hands on his hips, his other arm on top of his closet.

"Yo bro calm down, no one's hurting you,"

"Bro?" Oh no, you hit a nerve, you always hit a nerve, and you know you're good at it, and you find him cute when he throws daggers with his eyes.

"You're calling me 'bro'?"

"Yeah? it's not like there's something I should call you besides your name." Your eyebrow twitch as you answered him, making him push his weight advancing close to you.

"Are you tryna provoke me?" He said deadly close to you as his eyebrow rise.

"Is there something to provoke?" now, you had played the innocent, giving him clueless eyes, and blinking your eyelashes at him.

With that, his looks changed, now he's looking at you amused, making his lips tug a smile, he licked his lips as he combed his hair with his long fingers, and he giggles.

"You should start calling me "Love"," he said still on his playful-flirty look.

"Why?"

"'Cuz starting from now on, you have something to provoke." He said as he causally pecked your lips, leaving you in shock.

"Oh! and go wear my hoodie, I'm going to burn that bitchy top of yours, it's feeding every guy's eyes with your showing cleavage for free." He said after leaving the room and going into the kitchen, leaving you speechless.

Masterlist

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hyperactivewhore · 4 months

Note

hi I love your blog we have very much the same opinions in everything except klamille is my favourite klaus ship and klaurora is second

I have been trying to enjoying klaus fics or any tvdu fics on wattpad but every thing I have read so far doenst show the characters accurately which is very annoying

I was hoping and want to request if you could give me some recommendations on fics on wattpad that are good. (Mainly klaus but any love interest would be good)

could you please give a short summary/review so far of any recommendation you give so I don’t waste time starting one only to not like ir

sorry if I am sounding rude English is not my first language but I can read it fully thank I you very much

Don't worry, you're not sounding rude at all, if anything you actually sound really sweet. I'm glad we share some opinions and I'm really honored you came to me for some suggestions.

I haven't read long fanfictions in a while outside works in ao3, I left Wattpad a few time ago but I'll still try my best, tho I'm not very good at giving summaries. Fair warning these are mainly fanfics I've read in Archive of Our Own, not Wattpad, but I hope it's not a problem. If it annoys you, send me an ask and I'll give you some Wattpad recommendations!

Patisserie (ao3, poly Mikaelson siblings x original female character, no incest) by @wickedlyemma:

Stats: (published: 2020-12-29), (completed: 2023-03-12), (words: 154,943), (chapters: 45/45), (comments: 4,385), (kudos: 8,469), (bookmarks: 1,799), (hits: 279,967)

Tags: Polyamory, Sugar Daddy, Self-Indulgent, Explicit Sexual Content, No Incest, Slow Burn, Not Canon Compliant

Summary:

I think we've all read those kind of tvdu fanfics where the main character is a teenager, usually related to the Gilbert or the Forbes, still in high school and who suddenly stops trying to make a life for herself just because she gets dragged into the supernatural world. Well, Patisserie is the opposite of that. For once, the main character isn't a teen but an adult around her twenties, who works at a bakery and is completely unaware of the supernatural world until Klaus decides to change that.

The slow burn is is truly worthy of a chef's kiss, the way the author describes and writes the Mikaelson is just so on point it hurts. Their family dynamic is so entertaining to watch, but it's as fucked up as it is in the show, which it's something not many authors can accomplish. The way they behave around the main character, a simple human, it's so amusing because they truly know nothing despite their age and she's just so easy to relate to, because for once the oc is not ridiculously overpowered.

The way we perceive the Mikaelson and the vampire world from a human pov is truly interesting, how she copes with all of it and eventually learns to love all of them individually while being aware of the danger is so well done. Kol and her, as well as her relationship with Klaus, are particularly interesting to read, especially considering how they all behaved around her at the beginning and especially because both of them are the most dangerous members of their family. They are all selfish creatures, and I love how it shows the more their relationships with her develop.

Apotheosis (ao3, Klaus x original female character) by atriums;

Stats: (published: 2022-01-01), (completed: 2022-12-13), (words: 158,264), (chapters: 31/31), (comments: 606), (kudos: 1,817), (bookmarks: 491), (hits: 69,472)

Tags: POV Alternating, Minor Original Character(s), Minor Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sex, Sexual Content, Devoted Reader, Author Rejects Canon and Substitutes It with Their Own, Cannibalistic Werewolf Cults, Nobody Is Good But Also Nobody Is Evil, These Characters are Flawed and Problematic (Probably), This Fic is Not a Bastion for Healthy Characters and Relationships, Reader/OC Especially, Reader/OC can be any ethnicity

Summary;

You know those fanfics who fix (almost) everything problematic in canon? Apotheosis does exactly that. In this story, Klaus isn't a complete irredeemable character for once, but he also isn't half as bad as his canon version, and due to the oc being a werewolf, this fanfic does expand on his werewolf side a little more than The Vampire Diaries or The Originals ever did. His family and him actually have a healthy bond, and Finn gets the recognition he deserves for once.

The story is set in season three of TVD, exactly when Klaus and Stefan are trying to make hybrids for his pack, and in a ironic plot twist, Klaus decides to take you with him when you're still a werewolf after you say you're not worthy to be a hybrid, at least not yet.

Her devotion to him is completely endearing and I absolutely love how Klaus actually cares for his pack, especially because they're all canonical characters who were killed way too quickly. Her relationships with the members of their pack are so well written, and this fanfic it's the perfect mix of humour and seriousness. It has a ongoing sequel, which I just adore. I warn you though, all the characters have several differences from their canon versions.

Twisted Obsession (fanfiction.net, Klaus x original female character) by rocket-queen98;

Stats: Originals, M, English, Romance & Angst, chapters: 16, words: 59k+, favs: 1k+, follows: 1k+, updated: May 6, 2023 published: Aug 13, 2016, [Klaus M., OC] Elijah M., Hope M.

Summary;

Lola is one of the most adorable mc I've read. She is human and around nineteen, if I remember correctly, and just a sweet girl and adorable. She's introduced into the supernatural world thanks to baby Hope, who is just the cutest, due to her needing a mother figure now that Hayley wasn't present in her life thanks to the curse placed on her.

Her relationship with Hope is my favorite part of the whole fanfic. She doesn't suddenly turn into her mother, she doesn't intend to either, but rather becomes her best friend and Klaus and her develop a bond thanks to this. The way father and daughter interact is so heartwarming too, the subtle hints of them being werewolves, and seeing a main character having a good relationship with her father for once is a good turn, especially in tvd fanfics.

It's clear Klaus and Lola have something going on, even if they won't admit out loud, but for some reason the people around them give the impression they don't actually want them to date. There is implications something more fucked up than usual is going on with Klaus and his relationships, and I'm pretty sure him and Cami were a thing in this fic too. Surprisingly, Hayley and Cami aren't turned into absolute bitches, but there is Jackson bashing though.

The Girl in the Forest (fanfiction.net, Klaus x original female character) by noblecrescent;

Stats: Originals, T, English, Mystery & Romance, chapters: 30, words: 311k+, favs: 232, follows: 176, updated: Feb 19, 2017 published: Jan 23, 2016, [Klaus M., OC] [Elijah M., Camille O'Connell]

Summary;

This fanfic is a tetralogy of books set in The Originals, I read those fanfics a while ago so forgive me for any mistake. Maleny is a witch who was cursed, if I remember correctly, and was constantly body-jumping every short time.

In one of her lives, she met Klaus and they fell in love, but she died, if I'm not wrong, and they end up meeting again in New Orleans time later where he has a child on the way and a kingdom to conquer.

I can't remember a lot more without giving you spoilers, but it's worth checking it out!

Now, I'll give no more summaries because I honestly don't remember a lot of the next fanfics, but it's your choice if you want to read them;

A Veil Between Love and Hate (fanfiction.net, Klaus x original female character) by MandalorianHybrid;

Stats: Originals, T, English, chapters: 57, words: 200k+, favs: 609, follows: 359, updated: Sep 15, 2019 published: Jan 30, 2014, [Klaus M., OC]

Summary; Another five books set in The Vampire Diaries, with a story that eventually moves to The Originals.

Allure (wattpad, Klaus x oc x Stefan) by @viavolterra;

Stats: 575k Readings, 20,5k Votes, 34 Chapters

Summary;

I just could not not recommend this fanfic. Mia comes to Mystic Falls to seek revenge after Damon kills her best friend Lexi, but she of course gets dragged by the problems in that little town.

The thing I like the most about Via's story is how there is no cliché: no bashing towards Tyler or Elena, Mia actually befriends them, Bonnie gets the recognition and love she deserves, Klaus doesn't suddenly turn into a different person just because he loves the oc, he continues to be a piece of shit, and how sweet and empathetic she is, not like those reused badass mc who are just rude.

I would recommend some more, but it's kinda hard to find fanfics with a good Klaus depiction. I'm pretty sure I left out a lot of amazing fanfics, though.

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lambtotheslaughterr · 28 days

Text

I Burn : Finale

A Rafe Cameron Mini Series

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 7k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

PART NINE | MASTERLIST

IMPORTANT NOTE* hey ya’ll! just a reminder that my requests are OPEN. please read this POST before making any requests as i have rules in place. there are two spots left (which you will see at the bottom of the linked post). so get your requests in if you’re wanting to use me;p

The car ride to the Cameron’s was tense with silence. You felt under constant scrutinization despite your father not saying anything. But that was always the giveaway. He was upset with you, angry, & you were completely in the dark about exactly what. To what extent did your father know about your lies? What did Rafe tell his own father? What did Ward tell your father? As the car carried the two of you smoothly through town, you knew it’d only be a matter of time before you found out.

You stared out the window, your fingers tangled within the hem of your dress. You didn’t have any other options in your bags to wear to an unexpected dinner so you went out earlier in the day to shop for something appropriate. As relieved as you were to get out of the hotel suite from your father who made it feel suffocating, you found little comfort while shopping. You wish you had your mother there to help you relax, she sometimes had just the right things to say to help you. But it was just you. And your father.

After a few more moments of silence in the car, your father finally sighed heavily. You turned your head to face him but got quickly distracted as he pulled into a driveway that led to a beautifully crafted Charleston style home that was near the beach. You didn’t bother to hide the shock on your face. You knew most everyone at Arrowhead was well-off, but this was another level of wealth. The pristine & clean lines of the architecture & the environmental placement of the home was evident of the Cameron’s class.

“Whoa.” You muttered under your breath as your father put the car into park while you peered up at the house through the windshield.

All your father did was grumble, “Let’s get this over with.”

With that, your father turned off the engine & began getting out of the car. You followed suit, holding the strap of your purse tightly against your thighs. You inhaled sharply, waiting on your side of the car until your father rounded to your side. He gestured for you to move towards the front of the house, placing a hand on the small of your back as you led the way. At the front door, you had just raised your hand to knock when the door swung open.

A younger woman stood there in a stark white uniform, a welcoming smile on her face, “Harold & _____ , please, welcome.”

You imagined she was the help. Your father & you stepped into the foyer & you took a moment to admire the interior of foyer. It was two levels with an elegantly crafted chandelier hanging above your heads. The young woman approached a near by display table & grabbed a platter that had two glasses of what you imagined to be wine.

“The Cameron’s ask that we offer you a glass of a 2022 Linne Calodo Contrarian White.”

“We’re okay, thanks.” Your father responded grimly, “Can you bring us to the host?”

The woman’s smile faltered but she nodded, placing the platter back down, “Of course, follow me.”

Following the woman through the house, you stumbled slightly as you went from room to room, admiring the furniture, artwork on the walls, & how every room in the house had a view of the beach. You were no stranger to the finer things in life, but your parents didn’t display their wealth like the Cameron’s clearly did.

The woman approached a set of French doors that led to the backyard, she placed a hand on the handle before facing the two of you, “My name is Roxanne, if you have any questions, please, let me know.”

“Mm.” Your father hummed in response. At least his displeased attitude wasn’t only geared towards you, though you did feel slightly guilty about the fact that the kind woman who was only doing her job was getting a taste of it.

“Thank you, Roxanne.” You smiled at her. She nodded in kind before opened the door & stepping back, allowing the two of you to step through.

“Ahh, Harold.” Ward Cameron was standing behind a small bar that was built into the back of the house, a hand towel thrown over his shoulder, “Just on time.”

“You said six.” Your father returned, his tone short.

You turned away from them when you felt Ward’s eyes fall to you. As you did, your own eyes met Rose’s, who was dressed in a white floor-length lace dress. She looked incredibly beautiful & years younger than she likely actually was.

“_____, you look lovely.” She approached with a glass of white wine.

“Thank you, you too.” You returned, forcing a fake smile as she hugged you with one arm.

“Please, sit with me.”

You peeked at your father over your shoulder. His attention was fully on Ward as they spoke low enough for you to miss their words.

Rose led you to an outdoor table that was set-up on their obscenely green lawn that was exquisitely cut. She gestured for you to take the seat opposite of hers, adjacent to the head of the table. She then took a sip from her wine before she eyed your hands, her eyes widening, “Did Roxanne not offer the wine? Ugh, I knew she would forget.”

Just as Rose was about to stand up, you corrected her, shaking your head, “No, she did! She did.” You chuckled lightly, “My dad just didn’t accept the offer.”

“Oh.” Rose frowned, “Quite rude.”

Your own eyes widened at that. Never would anyone have the gall to insult your father to his face, so you supposed it was a good thing he was a couple yards away.

“Anyway,” Rose smiled, “how are you this evening?”

“Oh,” you were unsure about her friendly demeanor, “I’m okay.”

Rose scrunched her nose from smiling so hard. It made you feel uneasy.

You wondered if she was a decent person. Rafe was an asshole, & from the little interaction with his father that you had, you guessed he likely got it from Ward, but would Rose be any different?

“Well, here.” She reached for an unlabeled bottle of white wine at the center of the table, reaching for a wine glass near you at the same time, “Have a drink.”

Your eyes flashed to your father. He wouldn’t like you drinking, but who were you to say no to your host?

Rose filled the glass before offering it to you, “C’mon, honey. Don’t let it go to waste.”

Smiling sheepishly, you took the glass, quickly bringing the lip of it to your mouth & taking a sip. It was light, fruity, & sweet. Everything you knew this evening wouldn’t be.

“So,” you began as you placed your glass down, “what is the special occasion?”

Rose laughed lightly, “I’m just in the dark as you are, sweetie. But I never say no to a dinner with friends, no matter how last minute they are.”

“Mm.” You nodded, disappointed that she too didn’t know why you & your father received the sudden invite, forcing you to stay in Kildare for another day.

The sound of footfalls grew close & you glanced up, eyeing your father & Ward as they approached the table. They both held a glass of amber liquid in their hands. So much for not drinking.

Your skin pricked as Ward sat at the head of the table, just to your right, & your father moved to your left. You glanced at your father, “Would you like to switch seats?”

Sitting next to Ward made your stomach flip. He was much too close.

Before your father could respond, Ward spoke for him, his voice smooth yet hard, “You’re perfectly fine where you are, _____.”

Rose laughed softly, none the wiser to the tension at the table. You sat stiff, your spine painfully straight as you faced Ward, nodding once.

“Now,” Ward raised his glass slightly above the table, “to new business endeavors & new friends.”

Rose giggled gently, mirroring her husband. You swallowed awkwardly before raising your own. Your father didn’t bother raising his. Ward eyed your father expectantly, but offered you a closed lip smile as he clinked his glass against your own.

A moment later, the French doors that you came out of opened, & your eyes flashed towards the movement. Four staff members appeared, each of them carrying a plate of steaming food.

“I hope you like seafood.” Rose commented as she sat back so the staff could place a plate of food before each of you.

You cleared your throat, noticing that they indeed only brought out four. Would Rafe not be attending? You couldn’t decide if that made you feel better or worse.

As if he could read your mind though, Ward commented on his sons whereabouts, “Rafe is busy at the moment, but he will be home shortly.”

“Oh.” You replied, your voice small as you avoided the patriarch’s unwavering gaze.

“We’ll eat first, then business.” Ward took a bite of the shrimp scampi, a confident smile gracing his aged yet handsome features.

Wanting to distract yourself from the tense energy at the table, your forced your shaking hand to grab your fork, twirling a bite onto the utensil before bringing it to your mouth. You imagined the meal was excellently made, but your stomach was constantly flipping, making it difficult for you to really taste & savor the dish. In the corner of your eye, you noticed your father didn’t even bother touching his food.

Rose noticed as well, frowning in displeasure before she shot Ward a look. If he noticed her expression, he didn’t show it. Just simply enjoyed his own plate of food.

Someway, somehow, you managed to eat most of the food, but your full stomach did little to comfort you. Ward & Rose finished their plates as well. Ward made a gesture with his hand & the doors opened yet again as the staff returned to gather the plates. Once the staff was out of earshot, your father leaned forward, his elbows on the table as he eyed the host, “Alright, Ward. You said you had a business proposal.”

“Impatient, aren’t we?” Ward’s voice was light & airy but there was an undertone of annoyance there that you made out.

“First,” Rose gleamed, holding up the bottle of wine, “a top off.”

She reached for your glass but your father swiped it before she could, “She’s nineteen, Mrs. Cameron. One glass is enough.”

“Harold.” Ward laughed loudly as he leaned back in his chair, shaking his head, “How many times must I remind you that your daughter is a grown woman? She can decide for herself if she’s had enough or not.”

“You do not parent my daughter, Ward. I do.” Your father returned, not bothering to hide his distaste for Ward’s intrusion.

“Mm.” Ward cocked his head, “If you say so.”

What the fuck did that mean?

“I wanted to wait for Rafe to be here before we moved forward, but I suppose now’s a time better than any.”

You tugged your cloth napkin into your lap, tangling your fingers into the fabric as you felt quite literally caught in the middle of a battle between two alpha businessmen.

“No need to wait.” A voice sounded from behind you. Everyone, yourself included, turned towards the voice & were greeted by the sight of Rafe. He was dressed in a periwinkle blue button up & khaki colored shorts. He crossed the lawn towards the four of you, but his eyes were solely focused on you.

“Rose.” Ward voiced. At the sound of her name, Rose was quick to move from her seat to the next one over, across from your father. The change in seating made your stomach roll.

Rafe joined the four of you at the table, taking the spot Rose once occupied, directly across from you. He smiled jovially.

“_____.”

“Rafe.” You returned, unable to hide the sourness in your voice.

“Great timing, son. Harold was getting impatient.”

“Oh.” Rafe traded a smile with his father before glancing at yours, “In a hurry?”

“To get this bullshit over with, yes.”

Your lips parted in shock at your father’s use of a cuss word. He was always a man of class, knowing how to speak to which people, & these were definitely not people you spoke to like so. But your father was at his wit’s end, that much was clear. He was losing it. You pressed your lips together in concern, what the Cameron’s want?

“Well, Harold.” Ward began, leaning forward to make direct eye contact with your father, “as we’ve already discussed, you’re looking for an investment opportunity, a means to move from teaching at the university to becoming a businessman that people will take seriously.”

Your father wanted to quit teaching? But it was his whole life.

“But, of course, after your lawsuit, as quiet & private as it was, anyone who matters knows about it, making it difficult to find business partners, yes?”

Your father only glared at the head Cameron. Your eyes flashed to Rafe’s & he was grinning behind his hand as he stared at you, raising a single brow.

“Now, I’m willing to go into business with you, after all, any support means everything to me since I’m branching out internationally, but I’m not quite sure I want to be associated with a man who fired his TA because his daughter is a nympho.”

A gasp left you at the insult, your few interactions with Renee coming to mind.

Ward chuckled lightly at the expression on both yours & your father’s faces, “Don’t act so surprised. I told you that your daughter would be needed in this deal.”

“Dad?” You questioned, glancing at him, but he only stayed staring at Ward.

“I can look past the lawsuit, put in a few good words for you to the right people, make it go away. That’s what you want, right? For it to go away?”

Your father said nothing. Your heart began to race & the food you just ate threatened to come up.

“I can do that for you.” Ward nodded, “But as all business deals go, I require something in return.”

From behind your lashed, you glanced at Ward, & were startled to see that his eyes were already on yours. He grinned.

“Rafe is ready to begin working for me, & I’m not one of those men who makes their son start out in the mailroom to understand how business works. He already knows, he’s my son, after all. My company purchased a few properties in England, London to be exact, & I want Rafe to oversee the progress. He’s more than ready to take on the roll, & I trust him. However, much like myself, he wanted something to keep his focus strong, his work ethic influential. So, he made me a deal. A deal, if I’m being honest, I couldn’t be prouder of.”

Ward looked at his son, they shared the same eerie smile. Then Ward looked back to your father while Rafe focused back on you.

“Your daughter.”

“Excuse me?” You & your father replied in unison.

“Ward?” Rose finally spoke, her voice small as she questioned Ward.

“Not now, honey.” Ward raised his hand in her direction, “Well, Harold. How about it? You invest in my company, make a name for yourself, & my son gets your daughter.”

“No!” It was you who finally joined in on the absurd conversation, “Hell no.”

“_____.” Ward placed a smooth hand atop yours, patting it consolingly, “The men are talking.”

“I don’t give a fu—” You pushed yourself to stand but Ward beat you to it.

“Sit your ass back down, young lady.” His voice was firm & authoritative.

“No.” Your father rose as well, offering you his hand, “We’re done here. My daughter is not for fucking sale.”

You gladly accepted his hand, standing to your full height alongside him.

“You can take your business deal & shove it up your wife’s ass, Ward.”

An offended gasp escaped Rose as she glared wide-eyed at your father. But you never felt prouder of your father than you did in that moment.

“Sit back down!” Ward raised his voice, slamming the table with a fist as he narrowed his eyes at the both of you, “Or I’ll make a call & Dr. Mooney will be released from his cell before you even reach your fucking car.”

That caused for you both to pause, your father’s hand tight around your own.

“Now.” Ward repeated. Rafe, all the while, sat there with a snarky smile as he watched the events unfold before him.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Your father questioned, but you tugged on his hand.

“Dad, please, let’s go.” You voiced in a hushed manner.

“_____, would you like to tell your father? Or would you rather I do it?”

Your eyes flashed to Ward’s, wishing to the depths of hell that you could burn him alive in that exact moment.

“Or perhaps Rafe?” Ward glanced at his devilish offspring, “You’d like the honors?”

Rafe smiled but shook his head, his eyes trailing the length of you, “Nah, I think Mr. _____ should hear it from the mouth of his own daughter.”

“Quit lollygagging, what the hell are you talking about?” A vein in your father’s forehead appeared as his voice cut across the table.

“Sit back down.” Ward repeated, pulling out his cell phone, “I won’t ask again.”

You felt your legs shake as your father let go of your hand, resuming his spot in his chair. You bit your lip, reluctantly doing the same.

“_____.” Ward caught your eyes, “The table is yours.”

Everything was spinning. You felt you’d be sick at any moment. You felt your father lean towards you, his hand on your shoulder in support, “What is it? What do they have on you?”

Sniffling, you couldn’t look your father in the eyes, “Dr. Mooney, he….”

You couldn’t say it, couldn’t admit to it. It was all supposed to be behind you, long forgotten. He got what he deserved! Why were you the one being punished? And by the fucking Cameron’s, of all people?

“It’s okay.” Ward grazed his fingers along your wrist. You snatched your arm away, your skin tingling where he touched. “We’re all here for you.”

His mockery only made it worse.

“_____, look at me.” Your father demanded. You shook your head, unable to look him in the eye.

Ward sighed heavily, disappointedly, “Your daughter, Harold, is a fabricator. A master manipulator, I dare say. A quality I admire, but one that can get you & your whole family into hot water if you’re not careful.”

“_____.” Your father gently grabbed your chin, forcing you to face him, “What is he talking about?”

Hot, angry tears pricked your vision.

“Tell him.” Rafe pushed, “He’s going to find out from one of us, either way.”

You threw Rafe a damnable glare.

“Look at me!” Your father’s voice hardened, forcing your eyes back to his, “Don’t look at them, look at me.”

Tears skipped down your cheeks. You had to tell him. Rafe was right, he was going to find out anyway.

You sniffled, hanging your head, “Dr. Mooney didn’t rape me.”

“What?” Your father responded breathlessly, his eyes peering around at the others.

“I made it up.” You cried softly, “I’m sorry.”

“But…” Your father frowned, letting you go to lean back in his seat as he absorbed the information.

“I know that was tough, _____.” You felt a warm hand on your shoulder. Your skin prickled where Ward touched you, “But you’re better off for it, your whole family is.”

You spun around in your seat, snarling, “What the fuck do you want?!”

“It doesn’t matter.” The sound of your father’s voice, more so, his words, shocked you. You looked back at him in surprise.

He glared at the Cameron’s, one-by-one, “You can’t prove it.”

Ward laughed lightly at that, sighing heavily, “Unfortunately, that’s simply not true.”

Your eyes flew to Rafe’s. He returned your hardened glare with a smirk.

“When someone makes a rape accusation, much like your daughter did, what comes next?” Ward questioned your father. Your father said nothing.

“Mm, that’s right.” Ward nodded, “A rape kit.”

“Which they found evidence of rape.” Your father argued.

“But no DNA.” Ward returned.

“Because the bastard wore a condom.”

“_____?” Ward stole your attention, “That true?”

He was feigning a frown when you looked at him.

You gulped, shaking your head, looking at your father, “There was a condom…but he didn’t wear it.”

Your father was appalled at your revelation.

“My son did.” Ward finally revealed, making bile rise in your throat.

“One call, & with what my son knows, it’ll be a reversed sentence. And your daughter will find herself behind a jail cell.”

“_____.” Your name coming from your father’s mouth was solemn. He ran a hand down his face. “You didn’t.”

“I had to.” Your voice shook, “I knew they would need proof.”

Your father slapped the table, causing the glasses to shake.

“Why?!” He yelled, the vein in his forehead practically bursting as he stared at you, “Why? Why did you do it?”

More tears escaped you, “Because I wanted to punish him.”

“And there it is.” Ward’s voice was thick with contentment, “Just a young, foolish woman using her body to get her way. Putting an innocent man in jail. The courts will have a heyday with this.”

“Dad, I’m sorry.” You reached for him but he stood abruptly, shaking his head as he paced near his seat.

“Daddy.” You cried.

“So!” Ward clapped his hands together, “Back to the deal. You invest, my son gets your daughter, & her dirty little secret remains just that: a secret. Or else you’re family will crumble within in seconds.”

“Stop it!” You screamed, accidentally knocking over Ward’s glass as you swung your arms in distress. “Please, stop it!”

Ward growled as the amber liquid stained his shirt, but he patted at it with a cloth napkin before he leaned towards you, his hand ensnaring your wrist, “I’m the only who can stop it. Take the deal.”

“Take the deal, Harold.” Ward repeated, his hand still holding your wrist as he glanced up at your father, “I don’t want to see my son behind a stand anymore than you do your daughter. Though, she’ll receive a much harsher future than Rafe will.”

Your father finally looked up, his eyes hard but also…sad. Your heart faltered. This was all your fault. Ward was right. If your father didn’t take the deal, your family would go down in flames. And it would be all your doing. Dr. Mooney would run free, & you’d be ruins.

When your father didn’t speak, you chose to. “We accept.”

You glanced between Ward & Rafe, both of whom shared the same loathsome smiles.

Ward let go of your wrist, rubbing it gently, “And that’s how a deal is made. I knew I liked you for a reason.”

Ripping your hand away from Ward, you stood up to approach your father, wiping your cheeks free from any tears.

“I’m sorry.” You gently touched his arm. Your father met your eyes, his stare unwavering but shattered.

“I can’t protect you.”

“I know.” You sniffled, “But this is my fault. And I can’t watch you & mom suffer because of me. I promise you I’d be a good daughter. So, let me.”

“_____...” He hung his head, “I swore I would never let another man hurt you. Me, most of all. I meant it.”

“You’ve done everything for me. Sacrificed everything for me.” Tears blurred your vision, “Let me do this for you. I can do it.”

“Awh.” Ward commented from his seat, “I do love a sweet father-daughter moment.”

You ignored his comment, maneuvering your body to block Ward from your father’s line of sight, “It’ll be okay.”

Your father shook his head, meeting your eyes once more, “I’ll get a lawyer, I’ll get 10. They won’t get away with this.”

“But for now, they will.” You straightened your spine, “It won’t be for forever.”

For the first time in what felt like ages, your father brought you into his arms, hugging you. You wrapped your arms around his middle, pressing your face into his chest. It almost felt as if he needed it more than you.

“It won’t be goodbye forever.” Ward split you two apart with his words, “They’ll be back for the holidays.”

You frowned at the statement, “Back?”

Ward chuckled, “Like I said, honey, Rafe will be overseeing the progress from London. In fact, your boat leaves in ten minutes.”

“What?” Your father pushed you behind him, “No! You’re not taking her, not now.”

Ward sighed annoyingly, “I’m not doing this dance again, Harold. That’s the deal. My son gets her & your family remains intact. And my business thrives.”

Rafe stood from his seat, slowly approaching the two of you. Your father threw Rafe the nastiest glare you had ever seen grace his features, “Don’t come near her.”

Rafe grinned at that, his eyes falling to yours, “Too late for that.”

He then extended his arm, his hand held out waiting for you.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you grabbed your father once more, “Tell Mom I love her. It’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Your father shook his head, his hands desperately gripping your upper arms, but you begrudgingly pulled yourself away from him.

“I love you.” You told him, letting Rafe slip his hand into yours.

Never before had you seen your father on the verge of crying, yet there he was with his eyes red & watering.

Ward joined your father where he stood, clapping him on the back, then he offered his own hand, “Welcome to the business world, partner.”

The sound of a horn sounded in the distance & you peeked over your shoulder towards the beach. There was a boathouse & a dock & at the end of it all was a yacht with it’s engine running. An unknown man waving from aboard.

“Time to go.” Rafe placed a hand on the small of your back, leading you away.

“Dad!” You hollered & he made to move towards you, but Ward stopped him, his mouth moving but you were too far away to make out what he was saying.

Your body began to shake uncontrollably as you grew closer & closer to the yacht. Once there, Rafe climbed aboard first before offering you his hand up. You slapped it away & climbed up yourself.

“Captain.” Rafe greeted the man who had waved, “_____. _____, this is our captain for the journey, Captain Underwood.”

‘Welcome aboard the Horizon Voyager.” He grinned, none-the-wiser to your reasoning being aboard.

“Thank you.” You muttered.

“We’ll be at sea for 18 days, with stop offs in Spain & France before making landing in England. If you need anything, ask myself or Rafe.” He nodded, “You’re in safe hands.”

Oh, but you weren’t.

It was dark out, the boat moving smoothly along the ocean waters. Captain Underwood settled your nerves, reassuring you that it’d be nice seas the whole way. You had never been aboard a boat before, like this anyway, in the middle of the vast ocean. It only added to your queasiness. Shortly after boarding, Rafe gave you a tour of the yacht. It was luxurious, & you expected nothing less from a Cameron.

The inside was a decent size, but the bedroom, where you knew you’d be slumbering alongside Rafe made your skin crawl. It was tight. Suffocating. But Rafe looked more than pleased. After the tour, you escaped to the bathroom to throw up your dinner. You remained in there for some time, staring at yourself in the mirror. The whole night felt surreal, like a vivid vicious nightmare. When you did finally emerge, the captain gave you seasick pills to help with the effects of life on the sea while Rafe took over the wheel. You hoped he crashed the yacht into a reef.

By the time night feel, you were lounging in the bedroom, your heels on the floor & your whole body tucked under the covers. You had no clue as to where tonight was going to lead to, all your clothes & belongings back at the hotel suite. Your father would be returning there & home alone. It made your heart ache.

The boat creaked around you as you stared lied in a fetal position under the covers, staring at the wall. There was a TV mounted into the wall near the door but you had no interest in entertainment. You just wished more than anything that you could turn back time, take everything back before it came back to bite you in the ass. It wasn’t about Dr. Mooney anymore, it was about your family. You hadn’t thought of them, & now you all were being punished for it.

The door to the bedroom cracked open & you hurriedly sat upwards, glaring at the unwelcome presence.

“That’s not a very nice look.” Rafe feigned hurt. He handed you a plate with a sandwich on his, “Not much of a cook but it’ll have to do.”

“Not hungry.” You responded bitterly, turning away from him.

He sighed but didn’t fight you, placing the plate on a built-in dresser. Then he sat at the foot of the bed, his hand finding your leg through the covers.

“I’m starving.”

You tossed him a glare, not reading into his comment. You kicked at him under the covers, trying to shove him off the bed. Rafe laughed lightly, clearly misreading your shoving as something akin to playfulness. He gripped the covers & ripped them off you. You gasped at the action, quickly bringing your legs up towards you as you sat up.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Rafe furrowed his brows, confused, but smirked, “I’m starving.”

His eyes fell to your exposed legs, his tongue darting out to swipe his lips.

“No.” You pointed at him, “No fucking way!”

He scoffed then, cocking his head, “Really? I thought you, of all people, would be jumping at the chance to fuck. I’m guessing it’s been a while, right?”

“That’s not who I am anymore.” You snarled, glaring at him.

“Oh, yeah? Arrowhead really worked on ya, huh?” He was mocking you. You rolled your eyes, “It’s none of your business, but yeah. Being surrounded by assholeish men kinda made me realize I don’t fucking need them. Even for a quickie.”

Rafe nodded, appearing somewhat impressed, but it was short-lived, “So, you don’t get the burning sensation anymore? The need. The scratch you can’t itch.”

Your thighs pressed against one another at his word. He leaned closer, his hand slowly growing closer to your legs.

“Even if I did, I wouldn’t go to you. I’d rather drown out here then let you touch me.”

“We both know that isn’t true. You’re a nympho through & through. Someone just needs to touch you just right.”

His fingers caught your ankle, dragging you down the bed. You yelped softly, attempting to move back but Rafe was quick to straddle you, his hand gently grabbing your wrists & raising your arms above your head until he was directly above you.

“I gotta say, this is a good look for you.”

You growled beneath him, trying to push him off with your hips, but he was heavier than he looked.

“Rafe, get off me, I’m serious.”

“I liked you much more before. You were more fun then.”

You narrowed your eyes up at him, shaking your head, “I never liked you.”

“Remember what I said about you being a bad liar?” He leaned down until his lips were at your ear, “That hasn’t changed.”

His lips grazed the shell of your ear, your spine erupting with tingles that danced up & down your back.

“I’m sure if I touch you just right…” His teeth nicked your earlobe, “I can make you spread those legs for me whether you want to or not.”

“You’re an asshole.” You griped, feeling your thighs shake.

“You didn’t cum last time.” Rafe whispered, his lips grazing your neck next. You felt his tongue lick at you, teasing the pleasure zone there. “I’ll make you cum this time. And every time.”

“No.” You begged through gritted teeth as you felt pins & needles erupt across your flesh.

“Just relax.” Rafe kissed along your jawline, one of his hands still holding your wrists above your head while the other reached down to find the hem of your dress. When you felt his fingers dip under the fabric, your body jolted.

A gasp parted your lips & you stared wide-eyed at the ceiling. It was coming. The burning.

Rafe kneed your thighs apart, enough for him to settle between your legs. The pressure of his body against yours forced a pleasured sigh from the most fucked up part of your insides. You felt dizzy as the room rocked around you. Rafe shifted his hips upwards, his bulge rubbing against your sensitive center deliciously so.

He then caught your chin with the hand that held your wrists, forcing you to look him in the eyes. His eyes were hooded, filled with lust & blazing with desire as he stared down at you. He took his time glancing over your features, lingering particularly long on your open mouth. He leaned down yet again, this time catching your mouth with his. He wasted no time sliding his tongue inside you mouth. You moaned regrettably into the kiss.

“You taste so fucking good.” Rafe moaned, pulling away, “I want to taste all of you.”

Words failed you, your limbs more so, as he slithered down the length of your body until his upper body was between your legs. He slipped your underwear down, letting them hang loose off one ankle as he flipped the skirt of your dress up.

“I know you feel guilty.” He kissed the inside of your right thigh.

“But you don’t have to.” His breath was hot & cold at the same time, making your pussy throb.

“You can feel good, too.” Rafe licked the length of your thigh from your knee to just before your hot center.

“I can make you feel good.” Your body shuddered under his touch.

Rafe then reached forward, grabbing one of your arms & bringing your hand down to your cunt.

“Touch yourself.” He breathed out, & you felt you would melt into the bed.

He moved your fingers just over your mound. A shock sprinted up your spine at the contact. You hadn’t masturbated in months. Now, you needed to. You were burning up.

Pressing your fingers against your pulsating clit, a wonton mewl parted your lips.

“Good girl.” He looked up at you as he kneaded the meat of your thighs, nodding at you.

Your chest was heaving as you moved your fingers, swiping your fingers along your entrance & folds.

You bit your lip, your own eyes hooded as you watched Rafe watch you. Then he closed the distance, his lips closing around your mound.

“Ah!” You squealed, gripping the covers of the bed. His tongue swiped along your folds expertly, his tongue delving just inside your pussy. You could feel how wet you had become, coating his face with your juices.

Rafe wrapped his arms around your hips, pressing your hips further into his face as he ate you out. Your thighs shook around his head, euphoric moans escaping every breath you heaved.

As he licked, prodded, & fulfilled your every aching need, his other hand glided up the center of your abdomen underneath your dress. His fingers grazed the sides of your breasts before his hand appeared before your face. He continued to fuck you with tongue as he glanced up at you. You felt yourself growing hotter & wetter by the second. Then he stuck a thumb into your mouth.

You desperately sucked on his digit, tasting the saltiness of the ocean as you did. Rafe moaned into your pussy, the vibrations pushing you closer to the edge.

Growling with impatience, Rafe suddenly removed himself from between your legs. He remained on his knees as he yanked his arm out from under your dress. You had no time to react before he reached for the top of your dress & tore it down the middle. His eyes glinted as he took in your mostly nude form.

“Fuck.” He breathed out. Falling atop you, his mouth latched onto one of your pebbled nipples, suckling the bud. You moaned loudly, pressing your chest into his face. You felt as he reached between your bodies to undo his shorts. He then pushed himself off you once more to remove his shirt. Your eyes danced around his exposed chest, admiring the definitions of his toned body.

Honestly, fuck this man. And you would. Whether you wanted to or not.

Rafe returned his mouth to your breast, nipping the sensitive flesh there. Then you felt a hot, hard pressure at your entrance. You were slick, your evidence of desire pooling underneath you. You felt Rafe smile into your chest as he shoved his hard cock into your quivering cunt.

“Oh, fuck.” You moaned, & he growled into your chest.

Rafe wasted no time pounding into you. The small underwater room was quickly filled with the sounds of flesh slapping against flesh, your combined mewls & shrills, & the wetness of your cunt as you tightened around his girth.

“You’re my girl.” Rafe breathed out as he looked down at you, one of your legs bent at the knee as he held it against his side. “Say it.”

“I’m your girl.” You breathed out, your hatred for him nonexistent as he fucked the reasoning out of you.

“Again.” He watched as your tits bounced with every thrust of his hips. You felt your walls clench painfully as you grew closer & closer to the edge.

“I’m your girl, Rafe.”

“Oh, fuck yes.” He groaned, catching your throat in his hand. He tightened his grip just enough for you to struggling breathing but not enough to make you pass out.

“You’re my fucking girl.” He ground his hips against yours, your clit being manipulated devilishly so.

“Ah, Rafe!” You cried out, feeling yourself about to cum.

“Cum for me, baby.” Rafe gripped the back of your head, angling your head so he could catch your mouth with his, “I want to hear you.”

You shoved your face away from his, clinging to his frame as you felt your world crash around you. A strained cry filled with regretful pleasure filled the corners of the room as you fucked yourself against him, your cum coating his cock. Rafe chuckled against you, his arms circled around your waist as he fucked you to his own orgasm. His hips grew choppy, rushed, sloppy until he finally stilled, a groan erupting from his throat as he stretched & filled you with his cum.

He collapsed on top of you, the two of you breathing heavily, both of your bodies coated in a light sheen of sweat. Your whole body shook with the aftershocks of your orgasm & black spots blanketed your vision. Rafe rolled off you, his own chest heaving as he absorbed the effects of his orgasm.

You two lied there for some time in silence, the scent of sex in the air. When you finally cooled down, you winced as you sat upwards, glancing the mess between your legs. Your cum mixed with his.

And just as quickly as the euphoric feeling disappeared, your rage returned.

Swinging yourself upwards you hurriedly climbed on top of Rafe before bringing a closed fist down onto his face. Rafe, unprepared for your assault, caught the right hook right in his high, howling momentarily before he harshly gripped your arm, rolling the two of you until he was back on top.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” He yelled, his eye red from where you struck him.

“I said ‘no’!” You yelled back.

Rafe glared at you, an unamused smile on his face, “Your body said yes.”

“Fuck you!” You screamed, thrashing under him, “Fuck you, Rafe! I hate you!”

“Hate me all you want.” He huffed out, “But remember, your monster wants mine. Needs it.”

You shook your head defiantly, “No. I don’t want this.”

“That’s too bad.” Rafe shoved himself off you then, grabbing his shirt & shorts from the ground. He then peered at you with a cocky smirk.

“You used me for your own benefit. Now, it’s my turn.” Rafe, once dressed, stepped forward & gripped your head to leave a kiss on your forehead.

You shoved him away, “I hate you.”’

“I know.” He nodded, but was unbothered, “But you’re mine. And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

He then rested his fists on the bed as he leaned forward, looking you directly in the eyes, “And no matter how many times you tell me no, your body will always tell me yes. I suggest you get used to it.”

Then he turned his back on you, prepared to leave the room, but you shouted after him, “You won’t win forever!”

“Maybe.” He said over his shoulder as he opened the door, then he faced you, “But I win for now. Don’t I?”

With a smile, Rafe left the room, closing the door behind him. You threw the closest object to you, a pillow, at the door. Tears of frustration cascaded down your cheeks. The boat continued to rock & you along with it.

This would be your life now. And it was all your doing. Rafe had gotten what he wanted in the end, & he would always remind you of that. Whether with his words or his tongue, you belonged to Rafe Cameron.

The only person to blame was yourself. You & the goddamn burning. Do you feel satisfied?

another end to a Rafe Cameron mini series era. i gotta say, i'm gonna give myself a pat on the back for the closing sex scene. i think it's the best one i've written yet.

as always, & especially at the end of a series, your feedback & reviews mean everything to me. please share your thoughts/feelings via commenting, reblogging w reviews, or dropping an ask. i am so so so fucking curious to hear all your thoughts.

thank you for reading!

next mini series i will be working on is The Taming featuring reader x stalker!Clark Kent. so stay tuned(:

oona<3

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cherrykamado · 2 years

Text

— LET'S GET CAUGHT IN THE MOMENT.

Dying of thirst — Genya was dying of thirst. His mouth went drier and drier with every breathless word you would draw away from his throat; bits of disjointed words and low mumbles. It was evident, you could take everything you wanted from him, but the sun was shining brightly today, and the warmth you made arise in him was dehydrating him. Every heartbeat took a bit more of reason out of him as he looked at you, body screaming to him to go for you, to make his move. It was a torturing yearning, a yearning that transformed you into an oasis in the middle of the desert and he wanted no more than to reach you. He wanted nothing more than to reach you and, fuck, did it burn when the water was so close to one and you were dying for just a sip.

PAIRING — hashira genya shinazugawa x hashira fem reader.

GENRE — fluff. smut. selfship fic (but made 'x reader.' so everyone can enjoy!)

WARNINGS — AGED UP CHARACTERS (hashira genya, hashira reader) ; mutual pining. READER IS NOT NEUTRAL (is extroverted, expressive, has long hair.) SMUT ( size difference, size kink, fingering, praising, oral (m --> f because this man got an enhanced sense of taste; then f--> m), cum eating (?), breathplay, worship (f --> m), gagging (if you squint; his cock is big what can i say).

WORDCOUNT— 18.6k words.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS — @kinjuutsu @katsukikitten @katanaski @suyacho for the inspiration, the ideas and for beta reading. thank you to everyone for the hype and the love. i adore gen beyond words and, without everyone who cheered me on, this wouldn't have happened.♥

THE FOLLOWING FIC IS RATED +18. YOU MUST HAVE YOUR AGE IN YOUR BIO OR SOMEWHERE ACCESSIBLE TO INTERACT WITH THIS FIC.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤMINORS, AGELESS & EMPTYBLOGS DNI.

IF YOU ENJOYED, REBLOGGING IS A GREAT WAY TO SHOW SUPPORT AND HELP THIS FIC REACH MORE PEOPLE. THANK YOU.♥

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ꧁ ༒ ☬ 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖝 ☬ ༒ ꧂

gifs and dividers belong to me, please do not use. do not repost my content. do not recommend my work outside tumblr. plagiarism will not be tolerated.

Genya's appearance was deceiving.

He was such an imposing figure amongst the Hashiras in the Demon Slayer Corps; people would often think twice before approaching him. Some would claim it was all about his look: his glare — slainted, wide eyes, tiny pupils — a look that would feel like a stab the moment it settled upon oneself. Immobilizing, evoking uneasiness, as if in them there was an unforgiving tint that would petrify. Moreover, the scars littered all over him — one of them rested on his face, elongated in between nearby his jaw, extended over his cheek, crossing his nose, only to die at the beginnings of his other cheek — were not only marks of his chivalry, his bravery, but also marks that warned others about his fierceness, about his staggering strength.

He was threatening to be around, to say the least.

Genya was nowhere near lenient in training, either. Sometimes, his voice would resonate in the ground when he cussed out rookies for the slightest mistake. Some rookies could not bear the weight or the effort that requires his training, and he is never easy going. In that sense, he took after his older brother, Shinazugawa Sanemi, the ex wind hashira — like two peas in a pod.

However, when away, there were those who questioned his expertise as a true slayer, both for his lack of ability to perform any kind of breathing techniques, nor the capacity to wield a sword. Nonetheless, that did not make him any weaker than the rest of his peer Hashira; Rather than that, he was the bearer of an unique, yet unforeseen, fearsome gift: the ability to turn into a demon momentarily. Thus, a faculty without precedents in the history of the Demon Slayer Corps. This required ferociousness, and a great strength of the body — a body that, indeed, had to undergo a great deal of stress to achieve such a strenuous ability.

An ability which, along with hard work, had been rewarded in due time with the promotion to Stone Hashira, as he had inherited the previous hashira, Gyomei Himejima’s practices and masteries. Even if unable to perform breathing techniques, he was familiar with the stances and the specifics themselves, plus countless of priceless teachings and values that he had been transmitted. In other words, no one but Genya Shinazugawa could be more suitable for this position.

In other words, Genya was one in a million — maybe the only one, even. He was unique.

Still, as rough, relentless, brutal he could be, even the roughest stones can be smoothed over time.

Yet achieving such a thing is no easy task at all. Not for everyone, at least.

“You’re in love, Genya.” Tanjiro, the Sun Hashira, had been the first one to point it out to him, and much to his surprise, the expression of the ravenette had contorted into one of shock.

It did not dawn on him until that very same moment.

“W-what are you saying? Shut up…” He mumbled, turning away from the gaze of his friend, his friend whose smile did not waver in the slightest — but instead it deepened.

Frustration took over Genya and he bit the inside of his cheeks — he could not handle himself. Being in love… It was rare, at some point even displeasing. This, the fact that he could not deny it, that he could not help the warmth taking over his cheeks, that his heart would do nothing but race in his chest at the sole mention of you. He blamed himself for acting so helpless, for turning ever so hazy at the thought of you. But he could not help it, to grow fond of that very same softness. It was corny, yes, but what could he do against it?

That day, he struggled to sleep throughout the whole night, restlessly gazing at the ceiling, in consideration to his feelings and the great interrogant of what to do with them. A thirst that began to become so eloquent that he could no longer turn a blind eye on it — that he could not turn a blind eye on you anymore; because the once glances turned into gazing with undeniable longing and admiration. Soon enough, you would reign over every minute of his life — in thoughts, in feelings that would dwell in his mind. Love sickness, one could conclude, but also the impotence of not being able to do anything beyond that because, even if he accepted his feelings for you, the uncertainty of you doing the same was offsetting to him. Maybe you'd never look at him that way, maybe it is just a silly crush weakening a heart that should only beat with the motivation to fight and protect, and nothing more than that.

But then, again, what is the motivation for protection? To protect there needed to be a resolution, and the resolution to protect almost always derives from love. Love is inevitable, love is everywhere. Love can come in all shapes and colors. But then again, this is the first time it had ever come to him in this way. His resolution to fight, once for his brother, once for his friends, soon enough began to include you in that same picture, and even if not at a higher priority, it became his motivation during training, during meditation.

And with that meditation, with deep introspection, he began to reason; if there was a time you would open your heart up, would it be for him? Would there be any chance? But then, why would you? What makes him worthy of you, after all?

But even if he talked himself into you never looking at him, he could never fight the fact that he was so head over heels over you — the feeling did not diminish in the end, but doubled. And so Genya began to die of thirst, and the drought could only intensify over the time and, the more and more he thought about your beauty, your smile, your presence, your voice, he could not help himself — it felt as if his hands were tied, and it was inevitable for him to just not surrender to the feeling.

Kanroji Misturi thought all of this was cute to see from the outside — Genya was just helpless when it came to women: Every time he would be approached, he could just not bear the fluster invading every single corner of his body. In fact, she, as the former Love Hashira and your mentor, was the first to notice and tell you. Fed by the way he behaved towards you, she could not stop herself from wanting to give him a push. In her visit to the Corps (as her husband Obanai Iguro was still training his tsugukos) she spotted you sitting at the deck in the Love Estate; she decided to sit beside you.

“That training is tons of fun!” She spoke up, pride written all over her as you took her training to heart and decided to pass it down to the next generation of slayers, reminiscing of the old days where she used to carry it out.

“What’s with that smile?” You knew and trusted the pinkette enough to address her the way you did, encouraged by her herself to see her as a friend.

“Nooothing~”

But you knew it was written all over her features, and so you raised an eyebrow at her. She was up to something.

“I don’t believe yooooouuu~” You sang, mimicking her, which made your mentor burst into a giggle.

And that was the moment she told you. The Stone Hashira was in love with you. To be honest, Genya was no more than a fellow hashira to you, even if you deemed him handsome in all his roughness, yet did never feed that thought beyond professionalism. When Kanroji told you, she had pointed out a truth that, up to now, had remained unbeknownst to you, mistaking his indeed love for you by shyness of being around women.

“How do you know all of this?” You asked her, heart shaken up at such an unexpected confession.

But Kanroji just pressed a finger to her lips, giggling and shaking her head. But in you there was something more important than to think about the way she found out. There was a fiber in you that had been moved, something that tingled within you with this information. You thought about him, but now his image held something more than just being the Stone Hashira. There was something different now in your perception of him, something that led a wave of fuzziness to bubble in your gut.

“Y-you think he likes… me?” You pointed to yourself, blinking in all disbelief at her. Her emerald orbs showed sincerity — not to say that Kanroji was never to be a dishonest person. You knew she would never lie, even more now that she indeed found you two compatible, cute. Why not make the attempt, then?

"It's obvious!" she retorted, giggling, "didn't you see how he's around you?"

"Doesn't he always behave like that around women in general, though?" you asked, still surprised.

"It's different," she emphasized; she knew for a fact — Kamado Tanjiro, another one who rooted for you and the Stone Hashira — that he would be asking about you, or so his care for you would be implied. Tanjiro, in all his kindness, saw the goodness in Genya’s persona, and knew that he could be the right one. Kanroji agreed with him, claiming that your warmth and your sweetness was one to get easily attached to.

"Besides, he's aaalways looking at you," She nudged you, squealing in more excitement than you — well, it was not that you were not excited, you still had to process it. All of this was certainly too much, and it signified a change in perspective, a change in perspective where Genya Shinazugawa fancied you.

“I’ve also heard he’s always asking about you…” She trailed off, but by the time you could ask her what she meant by that, she had already dashed away, her excuse being that she had promised Iguro to meet him.

And ever since that moment, you began to ponder her hypothesis: you became observant, attentive. You started talking to Tanjiro about it, and all the proof had seemed to turn into the direction of the conjecture of the ex-love hashira being true.

So you began glancing in his way more into his way, gaining another perspective from the Stone Hashira. Firstly, with curiosity, then with something more: a feeling that would tingle in your stomach when reciprocating glances that he would break no sooner he realized your sight on his. To you, seeing the heat spread on his cheeks was absolutely heart-warming, and no matter how much any of you tried to reassure him, Genya would just slur out his excuse and walk away so he could finally breathe.

Adorable — that is how he looked like to you.

And so you began to fall for him.

Yet few were the moments in which you could actually get closer, and you wished it would escalate to more than just stolen glances. But missions, training, meetings — a plethora of circumstances — would always get in the way of you two. But, even so, no obstacle was as hard to sort as his shyness. Genya was aware of that, and he wished he could just “grow a pair”, as Sanemi would tell him and gain the courage to approach you, yet to no avail. Helpless, it would all end in a ‘what if’, something he dreaded, but also something he could do so little about.

Knowing this, frustration would take over your chest, an oppression that would become hard to ignore as you watched him turn every time he thought about coming closer. Watching him had begun to become frustrating, to the point that yearning would be unbearable. A moment with someone you love is always difficult, yes, and even more in this case. But at the sight of the circumstances, it was up to you to make the first move, it seemed.

Making the move and praying that it worked.

One good day, you woke up feeling lonely. Feelings had been escalating to the point that, now, the ardor, the desire for your now favorite Hashira burned in your skin, and you found yourself missing him. Missing him so much, that not just a glance could calm you, nor the monosyllabic responses of his (responses that you had managed to get every now and then after Hashira meetings.)

It was early in the morning when you found yourself opening your eyes way before a Kakushi would knock on your door, given your habit of oversleeping, which often led you to wake up with little time to prepare and therefore getting late to command the training of your slayers. The brush slid through your locks ever so gently, the sound reverberating through these walls ever so softly in the dead of the yet to come sunrise. Your gear was already on, neatly smoothened, as so was the haori Kanroji had given you as a present when you had stepped up as a hashira. Finally, you twisted the strands of hair framing your face so that they did not get in the way, securing them at the back of your head with the beautiful butterfly hairpin gifted to you by the Butterfly Hashira.

Impatience began to seep through a bouncing leg as you glanced once again through the window, only to find that the sun was not even peaking, except for a couple of rays that began to bathe the enlightening sky. By that time, the birds had already begun with their soft humming. A sigh escaped your lips then as you turned to your mirror, reaching for the lip balm and smearing it on your lips as quotidianly. Eventually, you were ready to go, yet again you could not help but look at yourself every now and then, trying to get a glimpse of anything you could have possibly missed, despite being spotless in view overall.

Eventually, your Kakushi came to wake you up, but staring estranged at the fact that you were long awake before her arrival. There was a wide smile on your face as you finally got to go outside, breakfast having already been served, which you ate fast before being off to your duties. You were also delighted to see that your slayers were assembled in the training court two minutes before your arrival — your punctuality had been a motive for astonishment.

“We’re going to take training outside today.”

Everyone turned to each other as they wondered whether you were indeed alright; judging by your wider grin, and the way you were behaving — shining even brighter than usual— the answer was obvious:

you were not alright.

And Genya did not expect any of this, of course. He was, just like every other day, commanding another ruthless training session for his slayers — starting by endurance training, followed by sparring, finishing with meditation. Being in charge of training often helped him take a break from his insistent, lovesick heart — at least for a moment. However, as he could not gather any sleep lately, he had grown even less lenient than usual. Training was harsh, curiously resembling his brother when yelling at the slayers, or even knocking them down when he sensed someone was distracted — undoubtedly, he was a Shinazugawa.

A tap to his arm from behind took him by surprise, and whenever he turned, he swore the air ceased to flow into his lungs.

“Hello.”

He could barely stammer a greeting back at you after that; it was the first time — or at least one of the first times — that he was this close to you. It was the first time that he got to see your beautiful eyes gleaming, as you looked right at him; the first time that he got to see your smile spread for him. It was the first time that he could see you early in the morning, where the sun shone right upon you, highlighting your breathtaking self to the point that his heartbeat turned erratic.

"I see you're training hard today, aren't you?"

Your lips curved upwards in a bright smile while a faint wave of heat crept up to your cheeks, and you wished he would not notice — a shaken up Genya was too busy trying to get his soul to come back to his body to notice, though. From every single thing that could take him by surprise, this was one of the most unforeseen to him. Of course, he would wish and long for just a minute in which he could see you, his gaze often looking for you even if he did not want to. You were so bright, so...

...Pretty.

Genya felt as if his throat was closing. The summer sunlight felt even more boiling on his stinging cheeks — cheeks that he might have been unaware had turned undeniably red. The shyness immediately took over him, and so he did really forget how to utter a word correctly, without stumbling on his words.

You did not miss any of this; it was obvious — you wanted to believe it was — and that got your heart fluttering.

"Y-yeah..." he retorted, but unable to look away from you, when he normally would. But, how could he even look away, if any time you were around, even if you were unaware, his gaze was always upon you? it was as if, out of reflex, as if he had trained himself unconsciously, to look into the direction of his heart.

Of course.

"Mind if we join you?"

The question took him aback, and if he had been petrified before, he now stood as stiff as a tower. Joining him? YOu wanted to… Join him. Which meant staying until late afternoon with him? Which meant staying together, which meant being close to one another—

—Oh, boy.

A nod left him without much of a second thought; it was faint, but overt. It did not fail to make you giggle: you knew you were right to like him, and just how obvious he was with his non verbal language could only make your heart race. Your heart jumped at this.

Meanwhile, the slayers sensed the calm of the silence. Curious glances amongst his subordinates could not help themselves and look for the reason why: you. The infamous Love Hashira, famous for your charm and your cheerfulness, as you took after the previous one, as so was the case with your charming beauty. Gasps and heavy sighs, everyone was more than excited to have you in there, from what it seemed.

“All right then!” you beamed, turning then to your side briefly to beckon at your waiting slayers, “Everyone!” you called, and so your subordinates lined up in front of you, as so did Genya's. You never needed to raise your volume, your resting voice being clear and loud for everyone to stop and listen, as your charm was just too warm to ignore, too warm to just not be lured by.

“Today’s training will be under Mr. Shinazugawa’s commands,” you announced, and poor Stone Hashira had to do his best to not let the fluster take over him.

“Will you make sure my slayers train well for me?” You turned to Genya, then to his slayers, helpless at the leverage you had, even more when your gaze laid ever so charmingly on the swordsmen. In response, a cacophony of yes and of course! erupted from the love struck warriors, to which you could not help but to let out a chuckle.

However, some of the swordsmen had been unlucky that the male Hashira caught them as they began to giggle in secret — whether it was at you, or at his helplessness, he was not sure until his gaze had flickered to them —to which they had been quick to turn away from him— so of course this would make him hit the roof.

“What’s so damn fun, huh?” His voice was not loud, but had lowered several octaves to the point that it came across as a deep hiss — needless to say this was enough of a threat.

“If you don’t want me to leave you all in a forest full of demons, you better start pushing those fuckin’ rocks and bring them to the peak of the mountain before sunset. Got it?”

You, never oblivious to what was going on, pressed your lips on a thin line in order to stifle a laugh. It was indeed cute to see how he could assert such dominance and fear. The poor, scared slayers, of course, were quick to run and begin training, for Genya Shinazugawa’s threats were not empty threats — should he have to leave them a whole night at the mount for them to fend for themselves in the woods riddled with hungry demons lurking everywhere, he would do it.

So, while everyone started to train, the awkward silence arose once more. Genya tried hard to keep his gaze away from you, tried to distract himself with the job that his slayers and yours were doing — but even so you could still sense just how tense he was.

“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” You spoke up eventually, a while after training had begun.

There came once again your attempt to break the ice. At first it was a strenuous task, his answers coming in monosyllables and mumbling until, as the day progressed, he would untense and the day, and your conversation would develop into something more fluent, something more relaxed.

Genya found himself eventually being more and more verbose as conversation progressed, after having the ice been broken. Whether it was getting used to being with you or just being partially focussed on commanding the training, he actually felt at ease with you, comfortable. All of these feelings combined, plus the sight of you laughing — or just the sight of you overall— made these feelings he keeps for you bloom even more.

The same could be said about you, too.

All this time, you could not help yourself as he spoke and just not indulge yourself into memorizing every single one of his details: The way his scar wrinkled when he talked, or the way he would hold back the desire to look at you (even if at times it would be inevitable to just not do so, and your heart in fact would celebrate those little slips of his with rebelliousness in its beat rhythm). Or the way that, whenever he talked, there was this flicker of his eyes, going down, then up, then back on you. Or the way in which, from time to time, his lips would curve upwards into brief smiles, brief smiles that, most likely, he was unaware he was outlining, but nevertheless they were ever so heartwarming.

He showed himself genuinely to you, and this made you fall for him even more. And this made you want things to escalate more, your yearn for him could only grow, and grow. Were you nervous? Of course you were, but your nervousness would just make you unable to shut up, unable to stop yourself. Your heart commanded your movements, your actions, your words. Bits of excitement would bleed into your voice and make it crack in the slightest as you spoke, or you would find yourself smiling more and more as he spoke — absolutely and genuinely, hence helplessly besotted by him.

And so what first deemed new soon enough turned regular, and Genya would even find himself delaying training for you, waiting so you two could chat together, even go for a walk together — just like the day it finally happened.

The day it finally happened, you were getting further and further away from the training area with him following right behind you; the pained screams and courage yells of the slayers were soon replaced by the calm of the summer breeze inviting the leaves to sway and the calming melody of birds singing in the distance. The light managed to slip through the woods and bathe you with its warmth fully.

For the first time, you and Genya remained silent as you strolled through the forest, but his silence was unsettling. He sensed there was something different in the air, so he would be struggling with the uncertainty of what to do or say. However, to you it was not uncomfortable in the slightest: you let yourself indulge into the moment. Silent indulgence that soon was disrupted by a thought, a thought that had you pondering.

His hand — you glanced down at it, and so questions, curiosities began to cloud your mind. How would that hand fit in yours? Was it cold, or warm? Would it be rough, or would it be soft? Would his hand be able to envelop yours full?

For the first time, you were struggling with reluctancy. You could not stop paying glances at it, feeling the mighty hankering for holding it. Your teeth pressed against your lower lip, as you tried to convince yourself to do it once and for all. Too much thinking was your worst enemy, it would end up by shutting you down rather than to encourage you. Longing heaving in your chest, you took your hand to intertwine with yours in front of your lap, trying to mimic what it would feel like.

When your gaze flickered to his own for the second time, your heart jumped as if in encouragement, as if telling you to do it with its frantic thumping against your ribcage. Unable to ignore its wishes, you tried to tell your heart you would grant its wish as you inhaled deeply, trying to bring it some ease, but it still insisted — and would keep on insisting until you did as told. Moreover, if you did not do it, you would go home wondering what could have happened and you knew there was nothing worse than to be left with a ‘what if’ in your head.

So your hand began to seek his: first, falling to your side. Then, checking whether he was looking (which he was not, luckily), and then with a push of your heart, you took his hand: your fingers first brushed against his, allowing you to sense his faintly rough skin — product of years of relentless training, training that had shaped him into one of the strongest, finest slayers the Corps ever had.

Your palm ended up touching his, intertwining your fingers with his own. Large, rough, warm — you internalized those features and engraved them not only in your mind, but in your heart as well. You believed you would feel way more nervous than you did right now, but truth to be told, a sudden, warm peace coated every inch of you. Like this hand was made to fit in yours. Like they fit as two pieces of a puzzle.

“I like spending time with you.” You confessed ever so softly to him after having taken his hand, tilting your gaze up in the slightest. Genya flinched at this, but never dared let go, even if his legs had come to a stop. He was looking at you as if it was not obvious, as if the fact surprised him; overt as it was, though, someone opening up this way felt so foreign to him still, even more after such a long silence like this one.

“I… I do… too…” In bits and pieces came his mumbled response, the heat on his cheeks burning unbearably; it made you distract yourself from your racing heart, making you giggle in nothing but the utter tenderness he caused in you.

Of your lips. Of your body. Of you.

The wind blew harder after that, but still never disrupting its gentleness overall. The sound of the leaves swaying a bit more intensely danced into your ears, and so your gaze softened as you gazed up at him. Genya could not help but get lost in you, and unsure of what to do, or on how to proceed, his hand was the symptom of his anxiety beginning to rise, evident in the way that it squeezed yours.

Genya’s appearance is deceiving, you thought to yourself as you reached up on the tips of your toes to place the back of your hand against his cheek. Your knuckle traced part of his scar, and you noted the skin is somehow softer compared to the rest.

"Your scar… I like it…" you admitted as your knuckle softly traced it, the smile in your lips spreading just the slightest.

It is not that he recoiled, but again this kind of affection was foreign to him. You hesitated, nevertheless, and pulled your hand away from his face.

“I-I’m sorry, I—” Seeking to apologize, you stumbled with your words, yet somehow Genya found in him the strength to make you stay, holding your hand with his free one, guiding it back to him.

“It’s… okay.” He hummed softly, feeling his cheeks heat up once again, bashful, “I d-don’t mind.”

But he could not go further than that. He did not want to let you go, and he wanted everything — he wished he was not being a coward over it, over you, but gosh, you were just something else.

So, once again, it was up to you to make the move.

“Can I…?” your gaze seeked his own, and Genya could not help but to inhale sharply. The sun merged with the color of your irises and he found himself being enamored by the result — as if it had turned into his favorite color.

His lips parted, but no response came out — the words could only die in his throat, so again a nod escaped him. His gaze was drawn to your lips for a moment, and by reflex he found himself licking his own. You turned into a mirror of his own actions, your gaze flickered to his lips, then back at him.

Where to begin? You suddenly lost your course, being distracted by the thrumming inside your chest and the blooming sensation in your stomach when your gaze fell on his. Part of you wanted to take your time, part of you wanted to say to hell with it, but both parts converged in the desire of you to make this moment perfect.

But his hands outran you, as they cradled the sides of your head with each palm ever so carefully, as if he was afraid he would break you, as if afraid that you would run away — funny how you feared the same just a few moments ago, right?

So your hands seeked his shoulders — broad, muscular, stiff. Light squeeze, and you used him as your leverage to lean up and in. His heart also drummed in his chest, his gaze could only focus on your lips, your glossy lips. Questions came to his mind but all of them were left unanswered, as his attention was drawn by the loud throb of his heartbeat against his ears, as if telling him to concentrate on this moment.

Your name slipped off his lips and he seemed to not be aware of it, as his gaze was ever so lost in yours while he inched closer to you.

Little by little, your breaths first intertwined, and as you looked up at him, and he looked down at you, your eyes would merge together, as if pretending to play cyclops, like those one-eyed demons that many times you both had gotten to fight. But in the end, you knew a kiss was not a kiss if the eyes were open, so as your eyelids fluttered close, there was only room for the eyes of the heart to open, and that is when you truly saw him, and he truly saw you — right in the moment where your lips finally met each other, when all the distance between you and him had been cut.

You remember feeling Genya inhaling sharp as soon as it happened, only to feel his gentle, warm exhale against you whenever he tilted his head to the side, not able to hold back anymore. Genya was careful, more careful than ever —yet in that bewareness you sensed there was fear, or reluctance.

When you cut the kiss right there, and looked up at him, his eyes took a moment to open; and when they did, his hands were ready to fall and return to himself.

“Fuck— I-I’m sorr—”

Yet before he could even manage to apologize, you just placed a finger to his now humid lips, a shush barely slipping from your lips.

“It wasn’t,” You retorted, smiling to him ever so sweetly, “I just…” You leaned in once again, almost touching the index you had placed on his lips.

“I just don’t want you to hold back…” You breathed, “... Please…”

Your finger fell gradually, and so eventually there was nothing that stood in between you and him.

“Kiss me again.” Came your request.

And so then what once had been hesitation, now had turned into something else. You pecked him again, and his once curling fists relaxed, little by little seeking to wrap you around his strong arms and bring you close to him — you aided him every single time. Where his hands would place themselves, you made sure to let him know that you were alright with it, and with your own, you pressed his large ones against the small of your back. Only then did you return to his shoulders, but slowly your hands escalated more; soon enough, your fingers were entangled with his unruly, onyx locks. You brought him even closer to you, tilting your head to the side to part your lips a fraction just to let your tongue go and ask his lower lip for permission.

You sensed that from Genya a shaky gasp fled, and also just how his muscles clenched the slightest, which made you smile against his mouth. When he parted his lips, your tongue slipped past and began to glide against his own, as if inviting him to do the same.

The last barriers were beginning to crumble down and it took you by surprise (yet what a sweet surprise this was) when he pressed you even further against him, and one of his hands roamed up to bring you closer from the back of your head. He mimicked your prior movements, tilting his head to let his tongue enter. Such was your surprise, that you could not prevent yourself from letting a pleased mewl against him, and that mewl was just the vocalized effect of what he was doing to you, of the effect that he was taking on your body. The limit between summer heat and the heat of your bodies was blurred, to the point that you were no longer sure whether it was you, or if it indeed was hot. And hence the need to take his hands and lead them up to the collar of your gear.

The lack of oxygen forced you apart from him eventually, as you stepped back in the slightest to let him watch as he undressed you. And the sole idea to have you gaze ever so intensely at him while he did was enough to make the breath hitch in his throat.

Genya's hands were nervous, but never rushing. They were mindful, even a whisper of anxiety made them tremble as, button by button, he undid your gear, until your shirt was wide open and your cleavage was visible to him. From his lips, parted while his gaze was hopelessly fixed on you, came a shaky sigh, while he slid the piece of clothing down your shoulders.

When his hands stopped the moment your gear touched the floor, it was your turn to make your way to his purple yukata, a whisper of a tug at the fabric of his clothes. At this, his gaze was inevitably drawn downwards, and his response was to place his hands on yours, aiding you in stripping him out of the outer piece of clothing, until he was left in his gear before you.

"I want to see you."

You were always clear and overt with your wishes, and Genya could just not say no to you — not when straightforwardness dripped like honey into your tone and blended into such a needy implore.

And so he complied. At first, he was so lost in you that he did not realize just how sexy of him it was to look up at you while he took off his clothes; realization unfortunately hitting him, his gaze was peeled from you all of the sudden as embarrassedly he looked down at his gear. This inevitably brought a smile to your lips, biting your lower one in the slightest as you felt a wave of butterflies blooming in your stomach.

He finally reached the last button, and his body began to peek from underneath, and you could not just deprive his muscles of your attention — the muscles of his abdomen contracted with every breath he took. Scars of different sizes and colors littered his body completely, and there was just a strong urge for you to trace one with your finger.

The sun kissed each and every single of his scars; the pad of your digit placed itself ever so delicately on one of the most recent scars he had gotten. This one was on his chest — on his right pectoral, specifically — almost at the same level as his heart. Red-ish with the warmth that irradiated from him, you remained oblivious to the fact that the most recent scars were the most sensitive, and you did not notice until he flinched underneath your touch.

"Sorry…"

"It's okay…" he breathed his answer, almost in a hum.

“Did you…Did you get this one recently?” You asked, your finger resting now near the mark.

“That? Ah, ye-yeah…” He admitted, looking down at the mark, “A demon took me… off guard.”

It was not easy to take a Hashira off guard, whatsoever. A jeering sense of guilt took over him, he was supposed to be on guard. He was not supposed to be thinking of his crush as if he was a lovesick rookie that did not know better. Jeering because it was something that he was supposed to prevent. Jeering because he could just feel the stupidity mocking him in his head, at the unreal, hypothetical scenario where he told you exactly how and why it happened. So instead he opted for silence.

“Did it hurt you?” Your question touched him just as softly as your fingers had just done. Genya did not expect it, he did not expect your preoccupation to slip in such a way that caused his heart to stir in his chest.

Of course it did, but how could that matter now?

Murmuring smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and so he wrapped his hand around your wrist, his gaze meeting your own as he brought your hand back against his scar.

“It didn’t.” He said.

“Then I’m glad,” You hummed, dulcet warmth colored your gleaming irises, as did to the ginger smile that, little by little, sneaked into plain view.

“Just be more careful next time, okay?”

And so your fingers traced his scar, from his axis outwards; your gaze laid upon his once again, only to flicker downwards to the fresh mark, only then your eyelids fluttered close in the slightest. His cheeks could only burn the moment that your lips inched closer, pressing themselves against the sensitive scar tissue. This caused his skin to curl into tiny, numerous goosebumps, his chest rising as a shiver roamed down his spine.

And, as if it was not enough to make his heart pick up its pace at almost an inhuman speed, you finished him off with your next words. If Genya thought he could not fall more in love with you, once again you proved him wrong.

“I couldn’t bear you getting hurt.”

Just how many ways of saying those three words were there? How many ways to surrender yourself to the one who you had given your heart long ago were there? Love is just not a verb, but the way you look at the other person. What you say, what you do not say. Love transcends language, love transcends literacy — Sometimes it is all showing and not telling. Sometimes it was all about hiding little pieces of one’s heart behind other words, behind actions, and hope that it works. His heart fluttered, but no movement came from him. It was as if he had found gold mines in your lines, realizing just how much you could mean by saying so little. It was like a covert confession, yet somehow you had managed to make it ever so overt to him.

Whenever your eyelids fluttered open and you backed away from the scar, there was a silent request that came out of your eyes, and Genya was not oblivious to it. His breathing became uneven, his senses flooded with desire and growing lust that bubbled up to the tips of his fingers. You nodded at him and took his hands in yours, silently telling him it was okay.

“Touch me, Gen…” you exhaled your plea, guiding his hand to your exposed chest, making his large fingers wrap themselves around your breasts, squeezing them in the slightest.

And it felt good — you arched your back a fraction against his hand, breathing in through your nose, as if encouraging him to go further. The thought of anyone coming near you or seeing you resonated in the back of your head, but if you were honest, you could not care, thus you ended up ignoring it. The magic, the perfection of this moment was just too much for you, getting you lost in it; it made it impossible to focus on anything else — and he was narrowly touching you.

Your expression, contorted, caused Genya's cock to stir awake in his pants at the sight of your bitten lip and your shut eyes, and the sound of your soft breath escaping your lips. There was resistance in these restraints, and there was nothing he wished more than to free himself at this moment. Furthermore, there was a question living in his mind, wondering how it would feel if your hand — soft as he velvet — wrapped itself around him, stroking it the way he would on several, numerous lonesome nights. Nights where he yearned for your company, where his desire shot itself out of him ever so violently, with the same intensity as his love for you.

He had not noticed the way his thumb brushed continuously against your now hardened nipple at the thought of it, your once soft exhales turning into needy whimpers. When he shifted his gaze up to your eyes, he could see the keenness growing in you — it was as if he was looking into a mirror.

Impatience, ergo the rebellion of hands that wander in search of exploring what was unknown, yet deeply yearned. Your body pressed itself closer to his, and you could feel him. The thought of his hardening cock pressing against your lower abdomen was enough to send a wet, warm wave of arousal out of you and onto your panties; there was an urge to satisfy with friction of your thighs a building pressure that had your clit throbbing and engorging with every beat. In the same way, there was an urge to satisfy with friction the ache of a stiffness, stiffness that had his cock twitching irregularly but persistently against his pants.

'Shit,' — he could not stop to reflect upon his actions when he lifted you up. He could not stop to reflect upon his actions when you had wrapped your legs around his waist and he made your back rest against the nearest tree. He could not stop to reflect upon his actions when his lips latched onto your neck, as if your scent had drawn him like a bee to pollen — your most sensitive spot, he found it upon the first lick.

With a deep breath, you placed your hand at the back of his head, bringing him closer. His name escaped your lips once again in a breathless manner, your hips arched and your clothed sex met his in a slow grind that made his lips detach from your skin briefly only to let out a shuddery, soft moan. He could feel the warmth of your clothed arousal graze and seep through his pants and onto his cock. He could feel you taking the hand that rested on your breast, and guided it where you needed him the most, shaping his hand so he could touch you, stretch you — make you snap.

“O-Oh, god—!” Came your whimper when his calloused index entered you.

He could not believe it: From head to toe, he was as red as a beetroot; His breath had hitched in his throat and it felt as though his heart had stopped for a second. Your insides, so warm, so soft; but also so tight, so narrow. God, just how far up into you could he reach with just a finger?

Slowly, he slid it out of you, his glance flickering down from your lust coated expression to his finger, and he could not help but to bite his lip at the sight of how his digit glistened with your slick. He could not help but to feel himself twitch, having to comply with the need to swallow hard. So he slipped it back in, hearing how your wetness clicked as he pushed his digit in; hearing how that pattern of irregular humid sounds eventually turned rapid — sloppier, but rapid at last.

Until it was not enough. Until you wanted more. Until your walls began to pulsate with the crave for more friction. Until you whimpered out your plea to him, and another pang of electricity dissipated through his body — he could not deny your request. And so he added his middle finger; difficult to make it fit, when he could, you were so thankful. And again, once again, you rewarded him with those eager, honey-like moans that drove him mad.

“Feels so good… K-Keep going, p-please!”

And again, you were feeling the bundle of nerves at the top of your cunt twitch with ecstasy, ecstasy that translated into the Hashira’s fingers gliding faster against your walls, curling whenever, by accident, he learned that there was a spot that you found yourself buckling your hips at, moaning louder for him. Learning fast, he only needed to hear you once — hear you once, learn forever.

For you, all for you.

“Okay…” He inhaled, “Yeah…” — Exhale.

Genya was in trance, a lovesick expression on his features and he gazed at you with the utmost enamour, as if watching you was addiction, an addiction ever so curing for this sickness that was being so in love with you, fed just by the crumbs of heaven you gave him and, god, he was in a limbo. Limbo between reality and dream, where you looked so surreal, where everything was surreal — but you were there. He was there. You were there together and together you were making out of this the sweetest dream in life.

Genya was caught in a trance that, with a quiver, was shaken up; your walls made their best to hold onto him, to grab onto his fingers and not let go. The cacophony of your pleasured sounds colored the air and danced like music to his ears, until it became a warning — but you did not want to yet.

“I don’t wanna— n-not yet…” You breathed, holding onto his wrist. Your message was hard to decipher, and for a moment he would have begun to freak out — if it was not for what you did afterwards.

He could only give in to your intentions, and so you removed his fingers from you, a wet sound following whenever his fingers finally parted. Your chest heaved with the slowly diminishing build up for your climax; your eyes, clouded with lust, and your seary cheeks. Puffs of breath were coming erratically out from your lips mixed with his own, reverberating louder than they really were in your ears. You began to take his hand upwards and towards you; His gaze followed each of your movements inebriated with lust but also expectantly, his breath getting ragged and more ragged as his fingers approached your lips, as if he could anticipate himself.

The hot air from the sigh you let out grazed his wet fingers and, by reflex, he inhaled sharply. Your gaze flickered from his hand upwards to meet his own; that was the moment in which he noticed the tips of his fingers entering your mouth, only then gaining awareness of the warmth of it. The look of you on him caused his jaw to finally drop, a shaky breath followed, plus the — inevitable at this point — twitch of his painfully hard dick, now almost completely hard, which could not be helped — even less when your tongue swirled over his large, rough phalanges, licking yourself off him.

Unintentionally nasty — Genya could barely breathe at the sight of your gaze, laid upon him with such tenderness, pupils dilated with such ecstasy and compliance while the licks of your tongue made his mind go everywhere and nowhere at the same time. To see you this way before him was just breathtaking. To see you this way before him made him want to snap, to lose himself at last, to make you his.

What would he not give to have you this way every day?

Lust blown, suddenly there arose a need taking over him, deeming impossible to ignore — his free hand roamed up from your hip, his fingers twitching with fervor until his large palm finally came to rest atop yours. His sight pleaded, as if he would only proceed had you granted him permission. No need for words, whatsoever, you said yes to him; so his hand tugged gently at your own that beheld his other one, his half-hooded gaze never averting from yours as it reached his lips.

Oh, and when the fingers entered past his lips, he did not take into consideration something that would be germane: his peculiar sense of taste, not like any other. What was unique about it was that his taste buds were more sensitive than any other person; in other words, his sense of taste was way sharper. And when to tasting you it came, the savor exploded ever so vigorously in his tongue. Immediately, you could perceive just how wide his eyes went, black holes in the center of his irises widening to the point that a thin barrier of dark purple separated them from the sclera.

A groan vibrated on his fingers, and the relish made him want, crave for more. His tongue swirled around his fingers, making sure to capture every single hint of you on his tongue. All this time, you could just watch, feeling how your cunt would throb at such a tantalizing scene. If you were wet, now you got entirely soaked. Your walls missed him — oh, how much they missed those substantial fingers pulling into you; how badly you wanted them to be within you again. As if you were almost regretting making him stop before you could reach your climax.

When there was no more of you to taste, he popped his fingers out of his mouth just to abduct his middle and index, licking the remainings completely, as if he was not willing to let a single drop of your nectar go to waste.

“Never had something like this before…” He slurred in all the sultriness, the trance causing his voice to downgrade in a few semitones. Even after swallowing, the taste of you echoed in his palate, in his tongue, in his mouth overall.

He needed more.

“G-gen— yes, yes… please.” You breathed out, and so he cupped your cheeks; for the first time ever, Genya was the first one to lean in and claim your lips instead.

His kiss would have meant to be gentler, but when greed intoxicated his body and his gaze crashed against yours, his lips could only land on your own with just as much force. He held you in place, parted your lips with just a lick against your lower one; he let you taste yourself on his tongue, now brushing against yours thoroughly, as if there was no place he wanted to leave unexplored. A wet smack came after whenever he parted at last to gather his breath (and let you catch yours, too.)

“Fuck… I’m going crazy…”

He was not aware that he was thinking out loud when his words came off in a puff of hot breath fanning against your lips. Breath ragged, heart racing — his body was stuck against yours, the bulge in his pants unignorable at this point as it pressed hard against your sex. Your head lolled from side to side, at this point bedazzled and dazed by his actions, by his heat — by everything in him, in short. Only his name could dance off your lips in breathless mewls, because that was just how you were at that moment. And his name dancing off your lips in breathless mewls just added to the fire — his fire.

When he could put a brief end to his train of thoughts, he turned to your now plump lips and, drawn like a magnet, he pecked them; once, twice, until he parted with a last deep kiss. Decided that he wanted to taste more of you, more than where it came from, he began to kiss his way down: first, from your lips, down to your neck, down to your chest, kneeling until he was facing your breasts; until his hands could not help themselves as he cupped them, your perk buds spilling from in between his thumbs and indexes as he massaged them before, with a last brush of his thumbs over your nipples, he parted to travel even more southwards. Now you could feel the roughness of his hands slide down your sides until they stopped at your waist, while his lips were sloppily kissing your abdomen. Every time, his hands would squeeze, as if kneading your skin; unbeknownst to him, intemperance leaked through his hands, the thrill of coming nearer and nearer made the feeling just barely containable.

It felt like, in a matter of just a breath, he was now planting the last kiss on your mons. Kneeling before you, now his hands slid downwards to your hips, thumbs resting on the place where your iliac crests lay. Up to this point, impulse had taken the lead but, for some reason, at this moment, he could not avoid just tilting up to meet your gaze, seeking permission in your eyes. As if he did not claim he was going crazy just a moment ago. Maybe because, even in this state, it was important to him to still make sure that you wanted this, that you wanted him.

Your response — reaching for him just to thread your fingers into his mohawk. Enough for him to continue.

Impulse and passion were taking the lead and Genya was no longer holding back. Salivating at the mere sight of moist nether lips, he found himself swallowing hard as he gazed ever so entranced, ever so hypnotized. Lips parted, he inched close and, governed by anything except for rationale, his face buried itself into your cunt. The contact of his tongue, the feeling of the muscle parting your lips, and the tip dragging itself in between, licking a strap vertically, were enough to make you scream — someone would have surely noticed had you not clamped a hand over your mouth.

Your essence had become even more intense, compared to what he had licked off his fingers right before. If it was comparable to honey, yours tasted just as sweet and twice as addicting. And just as sweet and addictive as you were, you managed to draw a groan straight out of him, which rumbled against your lips. More licks followed after, his tongue tracing your labia upwards, downwards, then sucking on them as wanting to suck your wetness out of them. Genya was dying of thirst, and you were like his only source of water, as if he was tasting it for the first time in forever and he did not just want to stop drinking.

“Shit, you taste so good…”

And you observed. And your breath was already unsteady, feeling the tingling sensation roaming all over your sex as he kept on tracing his tongue on you. You felt a pressure, tons of pleasure without measure and you could barely get a hold of yourself. Likewise, he could not get a hold of himself either — his palms squeezed your cheeks underneath your skirt, bringing you impossibly close against his mouth.

Yet, as great as it felt, his tongue was always circling near the place where you wanted him the most, you had yet to feel him where you craved him the most. Nearer and nearer, his tongue barely grazed your engorged, throbbing bundle of nerves. You were quivering with the need, pulsating with the unbearable crave of wanting him to send you over the edge.

Your grip on his locks tightened the slightest; he could not ignore your call when your voice was filled with need and frustration. There could not be more of a beautifully salacious view than the one of you, with your bare chest rising and falling with heavy huffs, glossy half hooded eyes and parted lips.

“I-Is anythin’ wrong?” He asked, his voice raspy, “Is… it not good?”

“N-no, it is! I just…I j-just… want…” You stammered, trying to reassure him, yet you also found yourself struggling to find the right words to tell him how you wanted him.

“Tell me…” He swallowed the saliva that had quickly pooled in his mouth, “...Tell me what you want.”

Genya would do it, anything you wanted. No matter what. There was a strong will of his to give himself completely to you, to make you feel what no one else could. He wanted to make you feel the way you deserved and, whatever was on his hand (and even what was not, still) he would do it.

“I want you…” You reassured, both of your hands traveling to his parietals to cup them gently, and he let you coax him closer to your palpitating nub, “...H-here. I need… need you right here.” His gaze flickered from you down to your clit and, upon the last here, the gap between his lips and your bundle of nerves finally closed.

His lips wrapped around it instantly, and you could feel his tongue licking a vertical stripe, causing it to be flicked. Your body began to tremble with the euphoria: Genya could feel your thighs trembling with pleasure, and the mere sound of your delighted cries, plus the inability for you to hold them back any longer was enough to have him trembling as well, in due course.

“Oh my god, right there, please!”

His tongue began to grind against your sensitizing clit, and his lips began to suck more on it. You cried, you moaned, you held tightly onto him, inevitably making him start to let out grunts and groans that vibrated against your tingling folds, tingling folds that puffed up with the buildup of an overwhelming climax.

“More… o-oh, more…” You supplicated, moving your hips as you held onto the back of his head, hoping to get in some way more pleasure, even more despite being experiencing a surreal amount at that very same moment.

Again, how could he ever ignore your wishes?

You could not help but to yelp at the brief unsteadiness caused by him bringing your hips forward by pushing your cheeks, nevertheless feeling the very same pang in your abdomen in anticipation, your breath quickening even more (as if it had not already turned ragged enough). Neither could you anticipate the hand once stimulating you leaving a trail of fire on your skin as it slid from your thigh downwards, until it reached your leg; getting hold of your calf, he lifted your leg and let it rest over his shoulder so that now your sex was exposed to him: your lips, widely spread apart, glistened with a mix of your slick and his drool, and with just a flicker of his gaze, he could get a view of your drooling entrance. This new angle made his cock strain even more against the fabric of his pants, but the friction, the tightness proved to be somehow fueling the feeling.

He kept on swallowing, but no matter how many times he did, the saliva would gather in his mouth over and over again, like a starved demon in a mighty lust for blood. He did not think twice, at this point he was but driven madly by his passion. Passion that led his tongue to caress the dripping of your hole, dripping that led the taste to explode on his overly sensitive taste buds, explosion that led a loud grunt to escape his lips. Zeal grew out of his uncontrolled pleasure, and guided his tongue into your entrance, eagerly gliding against your walls to get more of your sweet nectar. A cry, plus the way that your hands pressed his head deeper against you, made him take a large, calloused thumb onto your bundle of nerves, remembering as best as he could to mimic the movement of his tongue. His thumb rubbed you up and down, side to side, then traced circles on the most sensitive of its spots.

He remembered and longed for the feeling of your walls. He remembered how your face contorted into the most beautiful love faces as he used his fingers in you. So one of his hands, once resting on your cheek, circled around and slipped in between him and your body. Using the tips, he caressed your moistness until he found himself poking at your tightening entrance. Fuck,— the feeling of your warmth once again against his fingers, oversaturated with wetness that trickled down his phalanges, and onto the floor beneath whenever he would pump them out; squelching whenever he led them back once again into you.

“S-So good, too much—!” You could not help yourself, lost in the haze, your hips began to grind over and over against his face, the building pressure became just almost too much to bear, getting so unbearably close to your highest peak of ecstasy, ever so dangerously near that it felt torturing.

Sweet, addicting torture — Not only was it taking a toll on you, but it was taking it on him as well. Hunger, the ache of a lust that needed to be fed on; Genya could not have asked for anything more yet, in due course, he felt the thirst begin to take hold of his throat, of his lower abdomen as it stiffened up in irregular contractions; anxiety came in waves at the thought, at the crave, at the anticipation. He was yearning to taste more of you. To have your sweetness coat his tongue like honey.

He was barely hanging on: Genya’s grunts and groans resonated even louder, the smacking of his lips and wet sounds of his tongue lapping against your cunt, while he sucked your juices, were uncontrolled, not even remotely blending with the sound of the summer breeze making the branches and their leaves dance, as so poorly did your uncontrolled moaning. However could you restrain yourselves, though?

His hips were jerking, thrusting against the very same nothing; the way the fabric of his pants with the friction was sending just the right pangs of pleasure through his hard, overly sensitizing shaft, was enough to give out just how feral he was going, and all because of your pussy — all because of you. Your juices were like the sweet taste of wisteria liquor, inebriating, alluring, addictive. That addiction could only grow whenever he perceived there was a subtle change in your taste — something that Genya’s tongue alone could sense.

“G-Gen… Genya—!”

You were close, you could feel yourself close to your high. Hyperventilation overtook, caused by your unsteady breathing put you into a deeper haze, a haze that deepened with the tears that were clouding your vision (some of them escaped your lash line, running down your cheeks and you were just so helpless against them. Well, you could not even think about stopping them, whatsoever. It had not been long since his fingers were inside you, stimulating you ever so heavenly; your walls, however, were clenching dramatically faster, tightening more and more, fluttering against his tongue which, at this point, struggled to enter you.

He was close, too — the stirring of his cock against his pants had turned into pulsations, the most intense making him hiss at the sensitivity, whenever his tip would brush against the fabric at this. He felt he was closer and closer to reaching his climax, and the alluring feeling of you being in the same situation, the alluring feeling of finally getting to taste the sweetest of you, was keeping him going.

You could not believe it, your thighs would not stop shaking around him when he lapped at your cunt ever so greedily. Your moans were just enhancers to his own. — he groaned with a tint of exasperation — he needed to taste you entirely.

The frustration became action; Genya’s large hands were sweaty against your hips when they roamed up to get a hold of them, and he pulled away from your sex, just enough for the air to brush against your folds.

“C’mere…” Came his breathless growl, said more to himself than to you. As if in great timing, your legs happened to give out on you, but Genya, strong as he was, managed to keep you steady and prevent you from falling.

The grass rustled beneath him as he lay down on his back, bringing you with him. When you turned down, you could not help but to feel your clit twitch, another wave of fluttering running through your gut washed over you, and all at the sight of his face framed in between your thighs. His breath this time felt cool against your folds, but as he began to guide your hips towards his lips, the warmth increased the closer and closer he got, approaching your lips. You remembered feeling one last sigh, Genya’s gaze taking a different gleam as his orbs flickered to your alluring, moist sex once more.

He engulfed it all, and even if you could not see it, you could definitely feel it; his lips enclosing your nether ones, dragging against the sensitive flesh, his tongue running across the common area between your lips, starting downwards, finishing up at the apex of your clit. And as you watched, your jaw could only fall agape, leaving a free way for all the air in your system to escape your lips through a breathless, high-pitched moan. However, you felt like you were going to lose it when he began flicking his tongue against your clit — deep strokes, not too fast. You could not move, your brain felt as if it had shut off, the coil in your abdomen exerting a great deal more pressure than before.

You could not take notice of how harshly his large hands clenched around your hip bones, the edges of his fingernails digging into the plush of your skin, imprinting crescent moons on them — so harshly was he pressing, because he was helpless. Helpless because he could not hold back. Helpless because you were so moreish that he could not keep it to himself. Helpless because he was bound to explode, the seed threatening to shoot out from him as if you could draw it out yourself. Helpless because the taste of you was a sensation that made him feel like he was experiencing something beyond this world; not even the meditation training he had received from Gyomei Himejima could ever put him in the trance you put him in, so hypnotized, so enthralling.

Unintentionally unforgiving in his pace, his hands rocked you at a fast pace. And you, unable to handle it, were trembling all over. Your clit buzzed with increasingly erratic throbs, nurtured by every lick of his tongue, and it was too much for you. Unconsciously, you tried to bring your thighs together, trying to get a hold of yourself, but all it resulted in was tightening around Genya’s head. ‘He’s so good, he’s so good to you’ — the thought sneaked into reality and it fell on his ears, and so this caused a maddening grunt to resonate against your folds once more. He could not breathe properly: his cheeks reddened with the warmth and the shortening of oxygen, a thin layer of sweat glistened on his forehead as well, with one or two droplets that rolled to the back of his head, disappearing in the tousled raven locks of his mohawk.

Should anyone wonder whether that would stop him, Genya’s hands just dropped to your thighs until they came at the lateral sides of each one. The way his fingers gripped and nails clawed at the plushy skin could have made anyone conclude he would try to free himself; alternatively, all he did was force your thighs closer, tightening their hold around his face.

Close, beyond close, borderline climax — you were just about to get there. The last steps were usually the most painful, the worst; they had you striving to reach the peak, a peak that seemed so hard to reach whenever one was so close.

His breath began to shake. His arms began to shake. His grip on you began to shake. And in that wavering, caused by that rush of overwhelming euphoria running in his veins, he finally lost himself: Trembling uncontrollably, your legs felt as if about to give out on you. Reaching maximum ecstasy, your climax announced itself as Genya heard a high-pitched, breathless, moaned version of his name tearing from your throat.

Yet it was not until the sweetest elixir coated his tongue — nothing like your slick, this was different. If your wetness did make his taste buds explode upon first contact, your release on his tongue made his vision field go white (maybe the responsibility would fall on his eyes rolling to the back of his head by reflex, yet that did not change the fact that he could not think straight.) His orgasm hit him and caused his hips to stutter, and now the place where his cock was pulsating and twitching violently suddenly became warm, hot — but also wet.

His release had made a mess of his pants, but instead of pulling away, Genya pressed himself even more against your cunt, lapping even more eagerly at your release, continuing to guide your hips as if to ride out your orgasm, as if he could ride out his own as well. He licked you clean, until the very last drop of you he had consumed and disappeared after he swallowed. Still, his tongue relished of you — and as long as it relished of you, he would want more of you.

A tap to your thighs, and you apologized to him between puffs of breath, to which he reassured it was no big deal. Having spread your legs, Genya could catch on his breath at last, as you had backed out until you were lying right beside him.

“That was… that was amazing.”

There were a million things he would have told you, if it was not for the fact that he was breathless, breath taken by you and what you caused in him. The afterglow brought a calming haze, a haze that, nevertheless, had a bittersweet taste. Upon the breeze blowing, Genya noticed the quenching humid spot in his underwear — because, even if the gear was said to repel the humidity, his underwear did not bear the same perks.

An apology — all he could muster in the afterglow, heat pooling in dusting red all over his cheeks. Your sweet smile is what he next saw when he finally remembered to blink, having lost himself in the view above, yet never fixated upon anything in particular. Reaching with your delicate hand —or so he descried it, compared to his own— you brushed his raven strands of hair away from a forehead that gleamed, coated by a thin layer of sweat.

“For what?” You asked, in all obliviousness.

But Genya could not just answer your question; the heat could creep up to his cheeks, his gaze could only avert from yours. Embarrassment — to cum only from eating you out, instead of having pleasured you like you deserved. You could pick it up, however, or at least, and again Genya was overt enough to show it.

When you tilted your gaze down, you could see the mild rising in his pants, and as if you were connecting the dots, it dawned on you.

“You… oh.”

“Sorry,” He could barely mutter, his breath shaky with frustration, but he could not deny it, and the lack of it necessarily meant implicit affirmation. Judgment — he was afraid of it when it came to you. All that had just happened, only to crumble away and at his own fault.

Painly enamoured, he was, and there was no one in his eyes that could take your place. And as enamoured as he was, it pained him to ponder the possibility that even the slightest slip of his fingers — something as dumb as this — could mean the end. Sometimes love made one act like a fool, think like a fool, feel like a fool — and he was this, nothing but a fool for your love. A hopeless fool.

Your lips pressed together as you watched him, equally as flustered the heat crept up to your cheeks, but completely the opposite was going through your mind at that very same moment.

Your sudden giggle erupting from your chest took him by surprise; although he was unsure about what your reaction would be, this one was certainly the least he expected. It made his lower lip curl into a pout, another glimpse of the helplessness in him. However, to you, it was a sweet view to behold; Genya was the sweetest, funnily sweetest man that you had ever met.

“Why are you apologizing?” Your smile widened, and so you leaned down.

“It’s just… I… Damn…”

Your hand on his cheek, you tilted him so as to plant on his lips a sweet peck. He was spiraling, to say the least. He could not help but to hold his breath when you kissed him, completely lovestruck by you.

He struggled with words, as if they were stuck in his tongue. His lips pressed against each other and rolled together by reflex, as if unconsciously tasting you again. Yet still, that could not help him feel any less embarrassed.

Of course, you knew that.

“Gen…” You cooed at him ever so sweetly, “You worry too much, baby…”

His gaze widened a fraction at the nickname, and his heart began to hopelessly pick up its pace. But what time did you give him to process such an influx of tenderness? Nothing. Your lips were already on his own, by the time that he blinked. Yet this time, he held onto you. He closed his eyes, eventually, flowing with the moment. His tongue began to slowly reciprocate the glide of your own, eventually, melting into your fondness. His arms found your torso, eventually, and he pulled you close to him. His head tilted, eventually, deepening the kiss, telling you what words could not, since clearly they would not be on his side.

But you broke apart too soon, he was enjoying it, he was melting into you, you pacified his uneasiness. But you had better plans. You were going to help him loosen up, even though by this time, after having eaten you, after having fingered you, after having gotten on his knees for you, maybe by this time, he should have.

But then, maybe all that Genya needed was an extra push. Oh, were you more than glad to give it to him.

“Gen, you’re so good to me.” It echoed more into his ears than it actually may have; just the words were enough to make the breath struggle to flow into and out of his system with ease, and it was ever so painfully overt the way his body flinched beneath you, his torso stiffening up — again, cute. He was way bigger than you, but here he was, reduced to a mess, smallened beneath you.

“Won’t you limber-up for me?”

But, again, Genya was at a loss of words. Whether this was an unseen side of you — this day was full of discoveries, apparently — or whether he was even more allured by you, he could not distinguish it. All he knew was that you were making him go on a craze, that he was so feeble before you, so willingly feeble. He could not stop you, he could just watch.

He could just nod.

You could just smile. Your thumb brushed his cheek, and without any further ado, you began your descent: first, from his lips, to the angle of his jaw, kissing it; second, from there to the side of his neck. In this case, you did not kiss your way down, but just let your breath hover against his skin. Genya could only feel how a slow shiver ran up his spine, spreading to all the corners of his skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He shuddered when a small exhale now kissed his skin, before now your lips did.

A gentle pressing of your lips, then you tested a small lick against it, repeating the same until, by trial and error, you found a particularly reactive place.

‘Oh…’ came his soft moan, both relief and surprise bleeding into it as, at the same time, his eyes impulsively fluttered close. As if he was blindly following your request and so he began to unwind, as if he was blindly giving in to you.

You smiled against his neck, pleased by this. Pleased by how he swiftly began to relax; you could feel it underneath you, he was not as tense.

Suddenly, a sting hit his neck and Genya could not help but to wince in slight pain, “What did you…?”

“Ever heard of love bites?” You retorted, pulling away from his neck, your cheeks heated up mildly, “They’re little marks that you can give to the one you love. You give them to the one you want to be yours.”

His heart raced, he knew what those were. He had seen them on his brother once. But never, ever, received one himself. If one gives those marks to the one he loves, then that explains why the right one never came to him. Maybe because he had not experienced love until he experienced you.

“Will you be mine, Gen?”

The question echoed ever so eloquently in Genya, in his chest, causing his heart to skip a beat. Yours…

Yours.

“Yes… Fuck—” The curse fell from his lips, “—yes…” Totally inebriated, without a second thought. This, again, made you smile as you gazed deeply into his eyes.

Expectant, he lifted his head, never missing any of your movements as you moved. His shirt remained wide open, untouched since you had opened it up for him just a while ago. His chest inflated and fell with every rapid, shallow breath of his. Littered with scars, you kissed each as you continued to move downwards. Slow motioned, gentle, sweetly — taking your time, never once rushing. It is all part of the same; You wanted to make from this a perfect moment — to take your time; your pledge. To make sure to drink in every single detail of his, every single reaction, every single sound he made — it was all part of getting caught in the moment.

You were about to shift, so that you could reach his lower abdomen; However, it had been too much for Genya to stand, apparently. At least, he could not stand just laying while you did all the work. So, abruptly, he stood up, while you remained where you were.

“Gen?”

But soon, you would learn that to stop you was the least of his intentions.

Rising to your knees, you accommodate yourself. In this position, your eye level met his lower abdomen. When he looked down at you, and you up at him, Genya could not control the way such a view brought a titillating pang of heat inside him, pang of heat that caused his once again hardening cock to twitch.

The mess — he recalled. Fleetingly, he had let slip the reason for his apology, the reason for his embarrassment. But by the time he tried to stop you, you were already kissing his lower abdomen, the buckle of his belt long from undone, and his pants halfway worked down. Panic began to rise, of course, and as much as Genya found his skin twitching at the closeness, as much as he found himself not wanting to stop, this was embarrassing.

Your fingers, hooked on the waistband of his underwear, were just tugging down at it when his hand took a hold of your wrist. This caused your gaze to tilt up, and in confusion you gazed at him.

“Wait…” He blurted out.

“Why?”

Well, what sort of explanation was he supposed to give, how was he supposed to tell you what had happened to him?

Whenever his sight averted from yours, the feeling was there again. Cute. A sigh you let out brought a smile to your face then, and so he turned back his gaze on you whenever he felt the warmth of your hand on his own — the same way as he would have at that moment.

Reassurance — your fingers interlaced with his, and you led it to cup your cheek. Genya worried too much, as you would have told him at that moment. He could only swallow, his jaw could only clench.

But he nodded.

Until you laid your sight upon the half hardness, sticky and partially wet with still leaking, still warm seed. Your jaw fell agape after it bounced whenever you finally uncovered him.

“O-oh…” fell from your lips; to be honest, it was quite a sight to be speechless at. The sight from you, staring ever so frozen up at his girth. As if red cheeks were not already flaring up, this sight made even the tips of his ears burn, yet there was no satisfaction behind it; you did not show any sign of being pleased, and where silence governed, there was place for uncertainty; where there was place for uncertainty, there was indeed place for uneasiness.

“For… for—” Words tripped in your tongue, and you had to make a pause in order to swallow, a pause to process everything.

“All of this… because of me?”

“Didn’t mean to… I…”

What could he say? How could he explain? That he did not make it as far as to hold it in before he could actually please you like you deserved?

You felt his hand flinch on your face, and upon the slightest sign of it pulling away, you were quickly to, once again, place your hand on top of his. Tilting up, your gazes met again yet, this time, he noted that yours held a different tint: He noted that your orbs seemed to glow with a different tint between half-hooded lids, the color of your irises blending with the sun’s mid-afternoon rays, that you felt warmer against the hand resting on your cheek than just a second ago, as well as the way your lower lip spilled from your biting it with your upper teeth. In his state, there was no way in which he could note the way your arousal tingled, or the way that you began to press your thighs together, already in the need for pressure, or any kind of friction.

In other words, he did not note that what you actually meant was the opposite.

Your hand departed from his own, only to wrap itself around his girth. You took your time and, finger by finger, you softly circled him until he was completely in your grasp — gentle, tender was your touch, never otherwise. Underneath, you could feel the wetness of bits of his cum, mildly lukewarm by now.

“I feel praised,” You admitted in a wholehearted purr while your gaze softened, your eyes softly wrinkling; as your thumb reached up to his completely damp, now leaking with precum head — tracing his shaft all the way with your pad, almost in a ghost like manner, your gaze departed from his own, your head tilting down so that now your complete and undivided attention was set on the girth before you.

“All this for me…” You repeated, your gaze followed every single one of your movements as your wrist skilfully, slowly, gave his shaft a stroke. There was a wet sound that resonated in the air as you did (product of his precum clicking as you dragged your hand over his dick), repeating the action a couple of times — all this time, looking at him in the deepest infatuation.

"I thought about this a lot…" you confessed, "of us…" you breathed, and you felt the urge to close your eyes, biting down a mewl as you grinded against your own clenching thighs at the same slow pace you stroked his cock.

"You surprised me…" you confessed, and to be honest this surprise was not in only one way, "you're so…"

Genya could not believe what was happening. Genya could not even breathe properly. Genya could not even avert his gaze, nor pull his hand away from you; in counterpart —and once again this was his body speaking for him — his hand traveled from your cheek to the back of your head, his fingers unavoidably threading in between your locks in the process.

Smitten, absolute love struck— if he was doing badly before, now it was way worse. Impatience took over him, while you pledged to take your time; because, perfection is achieved through the threading of many little processes, many actions, many words. It was not a matter of teasing, but a matter of making out of this the most. In all your actions, you vowed for every part of you — every heartbeat, every thought, every ounce of love you held for him — to bleed into them.

"...great," came the word, at last, after getting, for a bit, deeply lost in your actions, in his reactions, in his gestures, as if you were thinking of the right word. You had begun to inch closer to his shaft. Your grip lessened as your thumb began to smear in deep, circular motions, slicky precum oozing out of his head.

His grip tightened on your hair, and you heard him breathe in sharply, so you inched closer.

"So big…" your breathed words kissed his head. So responsive he was, that you felt him twitch within your grip, hard.

"I’m not wrong, right?"

So your gaze, once again, flickered up to meet his, but only for a moment, before your attention you posed onto his length once more.

He was aware that he was different. His size sometimes made him self conscious as, had an inconvenience occurred to him, it would be painfully obvious — and for that, there would be no haori that could conceal something like that. Managing himself barely, he could use his repetition tactics to try and bring himself to focus elsewhere and, hopefully, bring himself to relax. Just as there were times that he could not, and the ache would be so noticeable that he would have to excuse himself, and that would lead you to linger on his mind, the lewdest version of you deployed in his fantasies as he succumbed to his hand on restless nights, imagining it was you bouncing on top of him, imagining you were letting out pleasured cries for him, imagining with deep, ardent intrigue what his name moaned from your lips would taste like.

You were mischievous in your own way — angelic, innocent — and that drove him crazy. Craziness that spiraled, triggered by the way that your breath fanned against one of the sides of his shaft (the one onto which a prominent vein rested and protruded.

“It’s pretty,” You confessed and, kissing the most prominent vein, his abdomen tensed.

“I like this vein,” You brushed it with the base of your fingers, “...and these,” releasing your grip for the tips of your fingers to brush against the smaller ones. Eventually, you reached the base, and you once again wrapped your hand around the shaft.

“S’so long…” Your praise came as a slurred purr this time as you felt a warm wave of arousal make your cunt throb once, feeling how your thighs began to soak up. Now your fingers circled his girth once more, and you brought your hand towards the tip, stopping at the base of this one.

“The way it curves is so lovely,” You smiled, owing to the curve to the right it took, tracing it as you led your hand backwards in a deep stroke.

“...it’s so thick,” You breathed, this time your lips hovered over it. It twitched again, impatience and frustration bubbled up in his being, yet even so, he would never dare get in the way of your actions. You had to stop and swallow, for the drool threatened to escape the corner of your lips.

“And it’s a mess…” You mewled, this time your gaze connected to his as your tongue stroked a vertical stripe through the underside of it, sighing in pleasure with a gaped jaw whenever you reached the tip. Salty, gently, not so much, it was pleasant.

“I’ll clean it up for you, okay?”

The angelic lewdness with which you were enthralling him, something never imaginable for him, it hit him ever so unexpectedly. His breath hitched in his throat after a sharp inhale, air that could only be released by force after your lips finally wrapped themselves around his tip.

“F-fuck—!” Came a choked growl from his lips, as his fingers enclosed a fistful of your hair, as if by that he could relieve the tension. He could feel himself burn at the cheeks and even the tips of his ears, while the coil in his lower abdomen began to exert such a pressure that he had to do his best to keep himself together; this time, he could not let himself commit the same mistake, this time he would endure.

It was slow how you took him — patiently, one inch at a time. He was way bigger than you had calculated, judging by the grip of your hand on his shaft. His girth forced you to make an effort, your jaw falling a bit more slack. It was lewd, how you stopped every now and then to rest, only for his cock to reach an inch deeper into your mouth, the salty flavor and the typical consistency of his cum dancing in your tongue with more intensity the more you took him in. Overachiever as you were, as stubborn as you were, he eventually fitted almost all the way into you (and, whatever did not fit, you could rely on your hand.)

To say Genya felt the weakness take over his knees was the least. Sensitivity and infatuation had mixed together and, to see the way in which you took him made him helpless.

Perfection — you had decided it. He deserved being treated well. He decided to be taken care of, just like he had done with you previously.

Genya felt the pressure envelop his cock, and the wet swirling of your tongue as you backed away, as if dragging it with you. ‘Fuck’ — you could not be looking at him with such an innocent glint on your irises as you did what you were doing — you were going to make him cum on spot.

“Ah…” You barely pulled away when, with a wet popping of your lips against his head, you released him. It came off as a sighed moan, your glossy eyes, iris highlighted by the gentle reddening of your scleras as you blinked a few tears off.

“I love how you taste…” You told him in a soft breath, your tongue peeking from in between your lips to lick the remains, as your free hand crept up to wipe the fresh drool that, naturally, had escaped through the corner of your mouth once gathered again in you.

One praise after the other — there was determination in you, to make him feel how much you liked him. Through every action, through every word, through everything, never once did you waver with your honey-like tone, sweet by nature and soft spoken. He called your name, choked in a deep hiss, as if trying to tell you this was way too much for him to handle, as if he wanted to tell you he needed you more.

“...Makes me want more,” You giggled, “...I can’t wait.”

At the sight of no objections on his behalf, you decided to continue, as if the hunger of seeing him pleased was an almighty crave in you. As if pleasing him was your way to tell him, to make him understand.

“I’ll stop whenever you want, okay?” you told him, your lips loitering once again a breath away from his pulsating length. You took his hand, guided it to your lips as you turned the slightest to your side, only for your lips to kiss a prominent knuckle of his, “I just think you deserve to feel good.” You added, before you guided it to your hair, prompting him to pull your hair back so that he could take a look of what you meant.

Heavy breathing, body heating, arrhythmic heart beating — he was reduced to being nothing but shambles. Here you were now, admiring it for yourself, touching him and he would not have the willpower to stop you, but instead observe and melt into each word, each action, each moment. Even if it felt rare for such feelings of devotion and love to bloom at such a scene, it was something inevitable. Your words, each and every single, had hit him from up close. Who would ever treat him with such kindness? Who would ever do this for him? It all felt sincere. Maybe in another context, if he had not been as smitten, as besotted as he was with you, he would have snapped and told you not to say such things while doing something so dirty like this.

This, however, was different.

He began to give in, and as he began to give in, once shut in grunts turned louder, and so grunts turned into moans — it was hard to keep them behind gritted teeth at first, but soon enough he found himself loosening up. His hips began to roll against your mouth, and you were smart to follow him along, creating a pace in which your nose almost met your hips.

Gagging was inevitable, you were resolved to take him all the way in, eventually, and it was impossible for tears not to gather at your lash line as a result of his tip almost hitting the back of your throat. He was twitching, irregular flinches of his shaft made it shake in your mouth; that, his pleased sounds, your gazes connected through the haze, the piercing connection passing through the curtain of tears, your moans and mewls vibrating in his cock, the erratic breathing, his salty taste coating your tongue, the rubbing of your thighs against each other and the grinding of your hips to possibly pacify this need for friction—

It was too much.

His cock slid off you with a wet pop, his head grazing the corner of your lips, rapid huffing now echoed in the air and it came from both of you. Only when the colder air grazed his humid shaft did he blink himself out of it. Passion fogged gaze laid itself upon you, and only then you became aware that the sunlight had taken a more golden tint. Probably, training should be about to culmine, maybe it was time to come back.

“Do we have to go back?” You asked, your voice having taken a sultry, slightly hoarse tone. Your eyes were curved in disappointment, in need — both corporally, but also pitiful; whenever something is so magic, it tended to happen so fast, its evanescence being a motive to mourn it when you realized how ethereal things were, as if having slipped from your hands like sand between your hands. You deemed yourself selfish for wanting this to last just a while longer. You found yourself longing for him. Longing to satiate this thirst that, no matter whatever you did, it continued to grow — and that could only be quenched by him and only him.

And, with every fiber of your being, you wished this would last forever.

It felt like an eternity until you blinked and noticed Genya was kneeling at your eye level, until you felt the warmth of those fingers, from that same hand that held your head moments ago, taking in them your chin.

“No, it’s not. Let’s stay a bit longer.”

And from your lips, through your fallen ajar jaw broke out a breathless sigh, heavy as if you were holding your breath somehow, and immediately relaxation hugged every corner of your body, giving place then for the building, burning desire to keep on burning within you. Flaring up from your lower abdomen, then growing towards your throat, and likewise irradiating to your core.

You could not help yourself, completely infatuated, completely dependent on him. Far gone, you were, you had to throw yourself, your arms finding shelter around his neck, and from your lips melded into his own came the greed that you would just not hold back anymore.

He was quick to reciprocate — from his lips he let out the very same eagerness, from his tongue gliding with yours as well, and tasting himself in you. Genya and you were dying of thirst, and you were each others’ water.

“I want you… Want you to make love to me…” Fell the plea off your lips, at last, your lips brushing against his as you spoke, returning quickly to kiss him; you could not break away from him, not even for a second. The heat was heavy in the air, and if it was already hot, now it was even more — almost scorching, but it burnt so good.

Lust clouded eyes focused on yours, and the words he uttered — the way he said them — made your heart skip a beat.

He huffed out your name, completely taken aback as if you were not doing any of this in the first place.

“Fuck… C’mere.” He repeated, as he would have told you before, “Want you too. Need you so much.”

His tone had grown more confident. Now more sure than before, the words did not stumble in his tongue, and the resolve was clear as water in his eyes. The need was irresistible. It was irresistible. Fuck, he needed you, fuck you were going to make him lose his mind.

His hands a step ahead from him, and he pulled away, a haziness taking over him, as if his body was about to enter a trance, an ecstatic one. There was a mix of hands as you both peeled the clothes off each other, unable to hold yourselves back anymore — only his pants remained halfway undone, however. It was then that his arms encircled your waist; just like that, he had easily picked you up; Your legs hugged his hips close, and your lips were on each other’s, as if there was no time to waste and he led you both against the trunk of the tree, until your back was laid against the rough surface. It did not bother you in the slightest, how the rugosity would scratch your back — your attention, your devotion, all of you, it was on him.

Love and lust blended, you wanted to give him everything, and that was where those two concepts converged. He wanted to give you everything, and that was where those two concepts converged. Where those two concepts, born and raised in two different bodies, seeped out of your bodies and converged. Give, give, give. That was all he wanted; that was all you wanted.

There was more than just conversations, glances, aspects — ever since you had met him, you knew he was something else. That he had something, something waiting to be noticed, something waiting for you to see it, something waiting for you to take it. You were both waiting for each other. You were both waiting for this moment. Bless the day Tanjiro talked Genya into you and, likewise, bless the day Kanroji talked you into him.

Because now Genya was all yours.

And you were all his.

And both of you were about to give yourselves to each other.

“Do it,” The slight difference in temperature made the haze of his train of thoughts and feelings come to a pause, and so he became aware of the length that throbbed with need around his hand — hand that, absentmindedly, had begun to move in deep strokes as he thought, as he looked, as he touched — as he felt.

“Please…” Your implore came from both your words, and your lips blending with his in a needy kiss; from the movement of your hips seeking for some friction that only he could give you, to the frustrated whimpers that would leave your bodies, as you pretended to rush, rush until you could feel him within you, only to then take it slow.

Genya so complied. He wanted you. No doubt, no hesitation, his body moved to the beat of the desires of the deepest of his core, and where desire outweighed reason, there was no point of return. Genya found himself guiding his cock to your entrance, wet and heating up with expectation, with eagerness. Painful need.

Patience out of courtesy, Genya waited for you to nod at him, to press his tip deeper, consistent pressure applied until he managed to push it in. Curses mindlessly fell from his lips — respect was hard to keep when he finally got what he so deeply had been craving for all this time, daydreaming night and day that someday this moment would come, and finally his thirst would be eased.

“Y-you’re so big…!” You could not stop yourself from pointing the obvious out, whimpering as he prodded against your entrance — even a hand as big as his could barely wrap itself around his girth. Veins adorned it and roamed from the tip that was red with ardor, disappearing towards the base a great deal of centimeters later. Whether it was your lack of sexual encounters in a while, or whether it was not, he was objectively special.

“Y-You’re small…” In the same way, he let out a sharp gasp, the strain of the size difference becoming evident in the way that he pushed into you, “So- s’tight—!” A gasp ended up taking over him, and you could see his eyes threatening to the back of his head at a quiver of your walls.

Slow, a bit at the time — he had to work on his reminder ever so hardly. Reminders that were hard to keep in mind when he was slowly burying himself into you, when those walls that struggled to stretch, to take him in— those walls that stang, and that the sting crept up to your then glossy eyes — but that, at the same time, kept sucking him in, as if, selfishly, wanted him to stay and never go.

But he stopped upon seeing your expression contorting in what seemed like pain, to him. Genya opted to distract you as, with little pushes of his hips his cock buried itself further into you; so tender kisses began to litter your skin with kisses, from your shoulder to your neck, from your neck to your cheek.

“You’re doin’ so well… almost there,” His praise came with strain, the tightness becoming overwhelming to every single one of his senses, causing his eyes to almost roll to the back of his head, and so he could not avoid the need to let his forehead fall onto your shoulder.

“Fuck, feels s’good…”

It was your chest that heaved, they were your puffs of breath reverberating on the woods that became even more irregular as he pushed another inch inside you. Your gaze, fixed on the place where his dick was almost through disappearing whole inside you, got clouded with lust, and as his shaft grazed in its way a sensitive place in you, you could not help but to flutter your lids close; the pleasure, so intense, threatened to escape your body and so it made your back arch, your chest inflate with air as a high pitched gasp seeped in.

And so he was finally fully inside you. All that effort, leaving you both breathless from a race that you did not even run yet. You both gazed into each other's eyes, but Genya was the one seeking your silent permission for him to move — permission that came with a kiss. Your lips place themselves on his own, blending quickly but smoothly in a deep kiss. Tongues glide on each other with more confidence, with just as much yearn, and so the unsaid is left said through actions: Adoration, enamour, ardor, passion, promises.

In a last peck to his now humid lips, you pull away just enough to place your forehead against his, just enough to have your lips brushing against his. And so the unsaid is left said, and you confessed what you have been itching to hear from your lips ever since you came around with your feelings over him.

“I love you, Genya.”

And so it was sealed.

Genya felt as if the air left his system with the deep exhale he took, eyes filled with emotions as his irises flickered with the awe you had caused in him.

“...I love you.” He retorted, as soon as he breathed in. There were no second thoughts, he felt it. Amongst all the uncertainties that could cloud his vision, there was something clear and that was the love he held for you. He kissed you, as soon as those words left his lips, with twice, thrice as much passion as you had done just before. He began to move, as soon as his lips claimed yours. He drank in your moans, as soon as his tip began to hit the sweetest of the spots inside you.

Genya’s appearance was deceiving — for a man who was rough looking and with such a massive size, he made love to you with such a care that would be deemed as unfit for someone of such a presence like his own. His muscles clenched each time he pounded into you, the effort evident in every inch of his body; the ultimate proof of how much he did love you. It just would irradiate from his pores, it was nothing that he could consciously help. It would irradiate from his voice, from his breath. It would irradiate from the way his hands would hold onto the skin of your glutes, in the way in which his nails would dig crescent moons into the plush of your skin out of ecstasy. It would irradiate from the pores of his skin which twisted into goosebumps, all over his body. It would irradiate from the way his abdomen contracted with each push of his hips against your thighs.

Your eyes would keep on widening as the feeling of pressure with pleasure began to mix together, until it became a mix of pressure, pleasure and growing tightness. Growing tightness, clenching walls and erratic throbbing. Far gone, you were so far gone, that being heard as a result of your loudening moans and cries was, at this point, the least of your concerns. Genya did nothing to stop you, as he could not stop himself either. You straightened your back against the trunk of the tree you were lying against, your nails digging into his shoulders.

It was at this moment that you realized just how much closer you wanted him. So your hands snaked around him, from his shoulders to his back, and you pressed your torso against his. Close to him beyond possible, that is where you wanted to be, how you wanted to be. You could not bear it, vibrating along the waves of pleasure that rumbled from your spot towards the coil tightening, resting on your lower abdomen. Your lips ended up in front of his ear when you intended to press your cheek against his, and some tears falling from your clouded sight stained his cheek.

“Oh, god— G-Gen, I’m so close…” You whimpered, and just that whimper was enough to set himself on fire, “T-touch me,”

And so he did; a hand slid in between your bodies, the rough pad of his digit began to swipe at your engorged, pulsating clit — sloppy, fast. He needed you, he was close, and he needed to bring you there with him.

It was a curse that fell from his lips behind gritted teeth. Genya was at this point a few last thrusts away from losing himself, losing himself within you. Your walls continued to hold him in, to have such a vice grip on him that could only tighten more and more. Your insides drooled with passion, the wet sounds resonated, they could only get louder and louder as you quenched your thirst.

You got so caught in the moment; ecstasy made eternity to grow smaller in range, and eternity was now reduced to these woods, where time seemed to have stopped and where the last breath seemed to be the longest, the longest before he told you corporally that he loves you so fucking much, and poured all that love inside you, to call you his forever.

You were caught in the moment.

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