#can I get a wahoo!!!!

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

Me when there's old man rack in a piece of media

[ineffable-kelpie]

Form Shapes Nature

Rating: G

Wordcount: 1,338

Prompt: A twirling-you-around hug

Characters: Dog, Adam

-

The hellhound, newly-christened as “Dog,” was not used to seeing the world from this angle. Before his Naming, he had towered over most lesser creatures, and could knock a full-sized demon to the ground with one good leap. Now, he was so low to the ground that everything else looked twice as big, and his short legs had to move twice as fast to keep pace with his new master.

If his master wished Dog to take this small size, Dog was happy to obey. They didn’t quite understand the point of it, though. Surely it would be easier to subjugate all the peoples of Earth with a massive, intimidating beast by his side? Surely his new master would want Dog to be able to knock his enemies flat and rip out their throats, instead of jumping uselessly at their knees? Did dog really need to be so small that a solid kick could send him flying?

He was obviously missing something. His master had said he wanted a dog he could have “fun” with. Dog didn’t know what this “fun” was, or how it fit into his master’s plan for world domination. Maybe that would become clear in time.

His master reached a flat road and walked alongside it. Dog padded dutifully by his side, and his master’s lackeys followed behind him, talking about something in human language. “They’ve got to let me keep him,” said Dog’s master, in response to something. He looked down at Dog with an expression Dog hadn’t seen in Hell, baring his teeth without any aggression. “Look, he’s already bonded with me. And he’s really well-behaved. Aren’t you, boy?” he crouched down to ruffle the fur on Dog’s head. “You won’t pee on the carpets or dig up mum’s flowers, will you?”

If that was what his master wished, then no, Dog certainly wouldn’t. Once he learned what “carpets” were, he’d make sure to avoid peeing on them. And he’d be careful to only dig up other people’s flowers.

One of his master’s lackeys said something. Dog’s master turned to snap back, “He can too understand. Can’t you, boy?”

Dog barked in agreement, though it came out as more of a yip, now that his voice had lost its deep, intimidating growl. Of course he understood his master. They were bonded, and he needed to be able to understand the commands he was given. But when the other humans spoke, it just sounded like noise.

“See? He’s smart,” said Dog’s master. “Don’t listen to him,” he added in an aside to Dog. “He’s just jealous ‘cause I got the best birthday present ever. No one’s gonna send you away, don’t worry.”

The very idea of anyone separating Dog from his master was absurd. As if his master would let them.

The group followed the road down to a street lined with houses, surrounded by fenced yards. Dog’s master stopped at one of these and opened the gate. “Come on, boy,” he said to Dog, holding it open. “This is home now.”

Dog’s home had always been Hell. But then, now that he’d found his master, home was wherever his master happened to be. Dog yipped and trotted through the gate into a green, fenced-in space. The lackeys followed.

The door of the house opened and another human came out. A human much larger than Dog’s master. Dog stood at attention. Was this an enemy? A threat?

She made the same face Dog’s master had made earlier, showing teeth without aggression, and spoke to the four of them. Then her gaze landed on Dog, and she hid her teeth again. She spoke, and an uneasy tension came over the group. Ah, Dog understood. This was the human they thought might try to separate him from his master. Well, his master would soon put her in her place.

“This is Dog,” said Dog’s master, crouching down beside him to ruffle his fur. “I found him in the woods, and he followed me home. Can I keep him? Please? He doesn’t have a collar, and he’s really well-behaved.”

Dog tilted his head, confused. His master was…asking for permission? To keep what was already rightfully his? Was this also part of his plan to lay waste to the world, or did he have a different plan that Dog didn’t know about?

The big human looked uncertain. They looked thoughtful for a moment, then said something and went back inside. When the door closed behind her, the lackeys started talking in hushed voices.

“She didn’t say no,” said Dog’s master. “And if she didn’t, my dad definitely won’t.”

The lackeys didn’t seem to agree. Dog barked to silence them. Before his Naming, his bark had been like a thunderclap, sharp and deafening. Now, nobody paid him any mind. He tried barking more, in case that would help, but his master turned to him and said, “Quiet.” Dog let out an embarrassed whine and obeyed.

The big human re-emerged from the house a moment later with an even bigger human. This bigger human squatted down in front of Dog and offered a hand for him to sniff. He didn’t smell unfriendly. There were traces of something sweet on his fingers, which Dog licked off.

“His name’s Dog,” said his master. Dog looked up at him. “See, he already knows his name! Look at how friendly he is, he won’t be any trouble. And it is my birthday.”

The big human who was still standing by the door let out a sigh. The bigger human straightened up and turned to her. They talked in low voices for a moment. The big human shrugged, and the bigger human motioned to Adam, and then the big human nodded.

Dog’s master straightened, his face lighting up. “So I can keep him?”

The big human adopted a stern expression and said something else to Dog’s master. Then he nodded as well.

“Yesss!” Dog’s master ran forward and threw his arms around both big humans. They hugged him back. “Thank you, thank you! I promise he’ll be the best dog ever!”

Dog’s master’s excitement was so infectious that Dog could no longer stand still. He yipped and started running around the little yard, circling his master and the two big humans and jumping at their knees. He was too small to knock them over even a little bit, but that was for the best. His master seemed to care an awful lot about their opinions, so Dog would make sure to never hurt them.

“You hear that, boy?” Dog’s master let go of the other two humans and knelt down to his level. “I get to keep you, and you’ll be my dog, and we’ll go on the best adventures!”

With another yip, Dog jumped up at his master’s chest. To his surprise, his master caught him and lifted him high up in the air. That was a new experience. Dog had never been small enough to be lifted up like this. If it was anyone else, it would have been terrifying. Dog would have thrashed to get away before he could be hurt, even if it meant falling the now-considerable distance to the ground.

But it wasn’t just anyone, it was his master, which meant Dog was safe. The arms around him were there to support him, not hurt him. He stretched up to lick at his master’s face, and his master laughed and spun around until Dog felt dizzy. Dog buried his nose in his master’s chest. His tail flipped happily back and forth, and now that it was short and fuzzy, it couldn’t raise burning welts in his master’s skin. Which was lucky, because Dog couldn’t have made it stop moving if he wanted to.

So this was why his master had wanted a little dog. This was “fun.” Dog understood now. They didn’t have anything like this in Hell, so his master must be very wise to know about it. This was much, much more important than world domination.

[bjs4bildad]

Public Snervice Announcement

Ву BJs4Bildad and @bingothedingo666

Writers, artists, creators of the GO and After Dark Community, I BEG of you to take just a few moments of research about snakes when you create content surrounding them. I say this with love and adoration because where else am I going to get snake porn? But the amount of times I have read about Crowley losing his scales takes me OUT and brings my horny to a HALT! There's more misinformation about snakes out there, but this is my biggest ick. Thank you for taking the time to learn just the basics and thank you Bingo for so enthusiastically hopping on board to help me teach all of you!

Hugs n Big Sloppy Smooches, - BJ

@goodomensafterdark

[bacchuschucklefuck]

no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~

[magic-worms]

trying to articulate my thoughts on the 7th tf2 comic confirmation by using the tf2 characters to articulate those thoughts

[coffit0]

The grandfest ended almost a week ago but I'm still here ❤️‍🩹

[skullfragments]

soooo i've been real busy this past month and change working on this monster of a painting! it was originally for the GO Ref library study club but clearly took much longer than i anticipated😅

for those of you who don't recognize it, this is based on one of my favorite historical paintings, Judith Beheading Holofernes (1620) by Artemisia Gentileschi. i love the Baroque period and this painting (as well as her other works) makes me insane. here it is Good Omens style so maybe all of you can be insane with me <3

"Aziraphale (and Crowley) Beheading the Metatron"

(non-bloody and non-glowy versions under the cut)

[barnaclek]

Somewhere in Wales Michael Sheen grabs the peroxide again and says “it’s a small price to pay to fall in love with David tennant for the last time“

[ingravinoveritas]

Michael on the Zoe Ball Show on March 1st: "And he looks good in a kilt as well, doesn't he?"

David on Comic Relief tonight:

[innefableidiot]

Finally got around to drawing more duck omens so here is 1941, 1967, and 1970 crow-duck!

Also how would you put a mustache on a duck

[itsmewahoo]

i scribbled these really fast! i thought beekeper!donna would be a fun idea! especially if the game took place during spring/summer. like imagine a meadow of yellow flowers thriving, thats terrifying with donna's power. thats why her house would be secluded because the pollen would get everywhere

i know the dark beekeeper suit wouldnt make sense but lets pretend its the effects of the pollen that make the bees not hostile towards donna. also i thought the medieval beekeeper suit would also be neat but i was too burnt out to draw more

[codgod]

I HAVE A REDBUBBLE SHOP NOW!! :D

all these designs are available as stickers, and the first one also comes in pin form! and there’s a bonus sticker of one of my other drawings too xP the dead eggs in their little christmas outfits

if you’d like to buy any of these and hold them in your Hands, [click here!!]

[ineffablehubbys]

kilt mention and “CAN I GET A WAHOO” please David I cant take this anymore ahhhhhhh/pos

[not-yet-asleep]

"Not all men"

You're right, Bildad the shuhite would never

[brother-emperors]

afternoon conversations 🥰

something something Crassus’ tendency towards Sullan style violence. he’s not so much bothered by how easy the violence is, he’s bothered that it’s reminiscent of Sulla. hashtag cringe.

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app

[atomicraft]

she’s a killer queen <3 <3