#can i make it work??

[inkskinned]

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[mariana-oconnor]

The AO3 search/filtering system has just ruined me for every other search function ever. I genuinely go onto websites, click 'advanced search' and then look at what paltry options they've given me in utter horror. How does anyone find anything? How do people survive?

[fishsticxz-art]

trapinch trapinch trapinch trapinch trapinch trapinch trapinch trapinch

[monstermoviedean]

i saw a post today where someone stated that they often can't tell real information from misinformation online. i am not here to make fun of that person. that being said, the ability to figure out if information is real or not is a critical skill for everyone who uses the internet. you need to be able to do that on your own. it's great if you can get help or if people will tell you what's real and what's not, but you also need to be able to do it by yourself. simple, easy tips under the cut.

the most common style of misinformation i see on tumblr is the fake news headline. it's an image or multiple images of a headline and sometimes an attached story. easy tips to discovering whether this is real or not:

is there a link in the post? click it and see where it goes. no link? possibly fake, possibly the poster just didn't include it.

google the full headline, not just key words. even better, google the headline with the full headline in quotes so you get exact matches. can't find a match? probably fake.

is there a clear url/website attached to the headline? if so, go to the website and search for the headline. can't find a match? probably fake.

is there an author? google them. see if they're real. see if the subject of the article matches the stuff they usually write about. see if they have social media where they may have posted the headline. can't find an author, or they seem way off-track? probably fake.

if it's an image of a tweet, look up the person's twitter handle. can't find the tweet? possibly fake. it could also be a real tweet with the text or date edited.

is there a date? a story written in 2002 may have very different ramifications than a story written in 2022. it depends on the subject, but some subjects change rapidly and even a 5-year-old story may be out of date. see if you can find anything recent. if not, it may be fake or out of context.

go to google news and do a quick scan. this is going to work better for headlines that are about world news, but it's still worth a try. google news also allows you to search stories and limit by date. see if you can find a matching headline. if you can't, it may be fake or old news.

general tips:

don't trust social media. just don't. please. people can and will say literally anything they want. anything you read on social media that has real-world implications, you should fact-check.

you may think it's overkill, but google everything. even things you're mostly sure of. reading more headlines and more news can help you get better at discerning between real and fake headlines.

every source of information is biased in some way. try to seek out less biased sources. look up the bias media chart (here's a link) and use it to find sources that do less biased and more original reporting.

think about bias as you're reading. who is the author writing for? why are they writing? what do they want the audience to feel? what facts are they choosing to include or omit? how might the presentation of the facts change if someone with a different perspective was writing?

there are also websites dedicated to fact-checking. this works best for major world news, but try snopes or factcheck. the rand corporation has a huge list of tools for rooting out disinformation as well.

there's nothing wrong with asking for help, but if you genuinely cannot figure out if something is real or not on your own, and you give up trying to figure it out without help, you run the risk of believing and even spreading misinformation. some misinformation is essentially harmless (a celebrity's favorite color, for example). some misinformation is incredibly dangerous. please please PLEASE check your facts. it is quick and easy and worth it.

if you need more help, let me know.

[lazyspaceoutlaw]

since a lot of people seem confused, the Bee and Puppycat that just came out on Netflix isn’t the the same as the original! (though some did get leaked a few years ago)

it’s 16 completely newly, reanimated episodes, the first three of which will encompass the original plot, plus extra content!!

[crunchworldsupreme]

FinFin has been thinking thoughts [Audio recommended]

[quirkle2]

so i've seen a lot of people headcanon wars' hypothetical dark world form being some beautiful, majestic, possibly otherworldly creature

but hear me out.

[godbirdart]

being unafraid to post lazy, unpolished art

[sigulary]

Here’s something I did for Journey Awaits: a free digital zine about the beggining of pokemon journeys!

You can grab it here if interested ✨

[Image description: A digital illustration of Pokemon characters Dawn, Barry and Cyrus standing at the shore of Lake verity. They all have their backs turned to the viewer. Dawn and Barry have their starters, Piplup and Turtwig, at their sides as they all look at Cyrus, who stares at the cave surrounded by mist that rests in the middle of the lake. End description]

[slitherbop]

LOVE OF KIRBY

[barksbog]

so i know i´m being communist on main here but i do think that even small businesses run by artists need to do their best to not exploit other peoples labor. I know how hard it is to source every material ethically but i see more and more people getting labor intensive things like clothes, bags, plushies, ect. made in factories. it worries me how untransparent a lot stores and kickstarters are about the conditions in the factories that produce their products. especially when those factories are located in countries with poor labor rights.

of course you can go ahead and tell me there is no ethical consumption under capitalism and that even someone who handmakes everything and does their best still needs to f.e. buy materials that were produced in unknown conditions BUT

i think that the moment you actively are in control over production you are responsible for making sure it is done in a way that doesn´t make you profit from the exploitation of other people.

[rusalkii]

A while back I finally figured out how to use UBlock's element blocker and promptly went mad with power. Just now I turned off all my extensions to debug something and realized how much more useable it made everything. As soon as I see something annoying I open the Ublock popup, select the element picker, click the annoying thing, and (most of the time) the annoying thing is gone forever and I never have to think about it. So here's my shameless ad pitch for things you can do with it, other than the default "block ads":

Remove all of the UI buttons that are definitely useful for someone but that you're never going to use in your life

Remove UI buttons you use only once, like "register"

Hide the "Posts +" button in tumblr

Clear all of the information your credit card website tries to show you that you don't care about so that you can focus on the couple numbers that you do

Send those pop-up "do you want to chat!" notifications to hell, where they belong

Remove various website overlays

Remove specifically the calorie numbers on food delivery websites

Hide the comments and recommended videos sidebar on youtube

Hide promotions that an adblocker doesn't pick up on because they're native

Hide your facebook newsfeed (if you just use it for chat/events/groups)

Hide discord's sidebar when you just need one channel open and don't want to be distracted, and then unhide it when you want it back

Get rid of distracting moving elements on pages

Hide almost all of the elements on twitter except the actual tweet, if you only interact with twitter via other people's links and don't want to be sucked down the rabbit hole

Generally hide "Related!" or "See also" or "You might like!" type distractions on sites where you only want to see what you came there for, not browse

Remove all of the news from weather websites so that they can actually do their job and show you just the weather

Remove the footer text on websites no one ever reads

[bigfatbreak]

Even a Worm will Turn

last / current / next

[rovermcfly]

idc how many products beauty bloggers use but I'm begging them to stop calling the result "natural"

like if you need 8 hair products to make it look like that, you didn't "bring out your hair's natural texture". you styled it. after 3 styling products that's a style. calling that revealing your "real" hair just furthers the idea that this overconsumption of beauty products is somehow an innate and necessary part of the human existence. if you enjoy using 8 different hair products every wash that's one thing, but you didn't unlock how it "really" looks. that's like saying "put on this shapewear to reveal your body's natural shape".

I know beauty bloggers are as much a victim of the predatory beauty industry as their average follower and I can't ascibe malice to every individual blogger trying to make some money, but they are in a position of continuing this cycle of violence and their actions do contribute to the continued success of this nightmare that is the beauty industry.

[evercelle]

gentle repose