#however. i was really concerned that someone essentially said the only way they could tell if something was fake is if it was tagged

[monstermoviedean]

i saw a post today where someone stated that they often can't tell real information from misinformation online. i am not here to make fun of that person. that being said, the ability to figure out if information is real or not is a critical skill for everyone who uses the internet. you need to be able to do that on your own. it's great if you can get help or if people will tell you what's real and what's not, but you also need to be able to do it by yourself. simple, easy tips under the cut.

the most common style of misinformation i see on tumblr is the fake news headline. it's an image or multiple images of a headline and sometimes an attached story. easy tips to discovering whether this is real or not:

is there a link in the post? click it and see where it goes. no link? possibly fake, possibly the poster just didn't include it.

google the full headline, not just key words. even better, google the headline with the full headline in quotes so you get exact matches. can't find a match? probably fake.

is there a clear url/website attached to the headline? if so, go to the website and search for the headline. can't find a match? probably fake.

is there an author? google them. see if they're real. see if the subject of the article matches the stuff they usually write about. see if they have social media where they may have posted the headline. can't find an author, or they seem way off-track? probably fake.

if it's an image of a tweet, look up the person's twitter handle. can't find the tweet? possibly fake. it could also be a real tweet with the text or date edited.

is there a date? a story written in 2002 may have very different ramifications than a story written in 2022. it depends on the subject, but some subjects change rapidly and even a 5-year-old story may be out of date. see if you can find anything recent. if not, it may be fake or out of context.

go to google news and do a quick scan. this is going to work better for headlines that are about world news, but it's still worth a try. google news also allows you to search stories and limit by date. see if you can find a matching headline. if you can't, it may be fake or old news.

general tips:

don't trust social media. just don't. please. people can and will say literally anything they want. anything you read on social media that has real-world implications, you should fact-check.

you may think it's overkill, but google everything. even things you're mostly sure of. reading more headlines and more news can help you get better at discerning between real and fake headlines.

every source of information is biased in some way. try to seek out less biased sources. look up the bias media chart (here's a link) and use it to find sources that do less biased and more original reporting.

think about bias as you're reading. who is the author writing for? why are they writing? what do they want the audience to feel? what facts are they choosing to include or omit? how might the presentation of the facts change if someone with a different perspective was writing?

there are also websites dedicated to fact-checking. this works best for major world news, but try snopes or factcheck. the rand corporation has a huge list of tools for rooting out disinformation as well.

there's nothing wrong with asking for help, but if you genuinely cannot figure out if something is real or not on your own, and you give up trying to figure it out without help, you run the risk of believing and even spreading misinformation. some misinformation is essentially harmless (a celebrity's favorite color, for example). some misinformation is incredibly dangerous. please please PLEASE check your facts. it is quick and easy and worth it.

if you need more help, let me know.

[meanbossart]

its funny looking between his former fixation (orin) and current one (astarion) and noticing he has a very obvious 'type'. what made him so taken with orin, though? what did he like about her? did he not have any initial misgivings? was he ever concerned she might turn on him?

B)c Please know how happy it made me to finally have someone spell this out lmao. It's absolutely true, at least within the dynamic that DU drow shared with each of them; there are a lot of parallels to be found between Orin and Astarion.

The tough part of this question however, is that I have a very difficult time pinning Orin down. She's easily the most elusive character out of the Chosen, and while I understand this Is likely a consequence of being underwritten, I also see a certain charm in a character who's lack of development is part of their tragedy - whose story is very much about not being allowed much individuality of their own, and having no resolution. I think this is a space worth playing in.

I couldn't tell you what the hell Orin likes, what she was like besides blood-thirsty and deranged. I can barely fathom her sitting down to have a conversation with someone. Think about it - she was raised from childhood in the Bhaal temple, both her parent's were faithful servants and she was essentially groomed from birth to be either Bhaal's Chosen, the Dark Urge's consort, or a sacrificial lamb. Nobody had ANYTHING to gain from allowing her to develop any humanity.

Of course, this doesn't mean she doesn't have any, deep inside. We see glimpses of it in fairly difficult-to-get dialogue regarding her origins during act 3. My very vague take on Orin is that she was a determined and persistent person who learned to make her circumstances work for her as best as she could, who had a strong sense of her boundaries but a horrifically difficult time differentiating between negative emotions - this is why I personally don't even know whether she """"led DU drow on""" our of malice or self-preservation. Perhaps she didn't know either - I think whenever Orin felt sadness, discomfort, anger or even happiness or love, she found a way to turn it into bloodlust and sadism, every time.

And it's in part this elusiveness that would have attracted DU drow. What did Astarion have to do to get DU drow to pursue him? He had to feign disinterest, he had to pull away - the fact that Orin never allowed DU drow to get close enough to truly know her plays a significant part in how unhealthy his attachment for her became.

That said, this was a long game - he did become infatuated pretty much from the moment he saw her when they were both teenagers. This is a much simpler concept to understand - he was profoundly emotionally inept and neglected, and she was probably the prettiest thing he ever laid eyes on, not to mention the only other person in the temple close to him in age.

Truth is, they did have a lot in common on the very basis of having been so thoroughly stripped of their humanities, but It was a closeness born entirely from circumstance - the implied vulnerability in the type of life they shared together, even if they never spoke about feelings or shared what normal people would qualify as a "sweet" moment. They didn't really use their words, and when they did, they were like daggers - twisted murder sibling banter.

But when they had to work together it was very different. They played off each each other like match and friction, like two fitted cogs turning a wheel. There must have been nothing that swelled DU drow's heart more than when they killed together, perhaps even more than when Orin hurt him. He loved seeing her in her element and yearned for nothing more but to be let into the joy she found in it.

He Never had any misgivings. He always thought she would come around (to him) eventually. He was completely and entirely blind to how much her resentment towards him grew throughout the years, how he lost a sister through wanting a lover.

[harlowcomehome]

Hii! Could you do something with pregnant reader where they’re at jacks family’s house and his family meme hers keep trying to touch readers pregnant stomach and being annoying and persistent

“Don’t touch the belly!”

Jack’s family was persistent in hosting game nigh. They took this very seriously, it was essentially mandatory to attend.  You and Jack didn’t mind though, the two of you loved a little friendly competition and honestly enjoyed having something “normal” in your routine.

However, you were in your seventh month of pregnancy, starting to get extremely uncomfortable and irritable. You tried your best to keep it under control, as best as you knew how but these new changes were hard on you. You had a new walk or “waddle” as Jack would say, and that’s how you knew you were significantly bigger then you were just a few weeks prior. Hazel moved around a lot and you and Jack would joke that she was dancing constantly. 

Jack had just pulled into your in-laws driveway when he rushed over to your side, “woman, if you don’t let me help you get out of this car” he teased. His car was a little higher up than yours and was basically a jump to get out of. You let out a sigh as he held out his arm for you. “Being pregnant makes me feel like I’m made out of glass” you confessed teary eyed. You knew it was just hormones making you touchy but you had been feeling that way all day.

“No, no. Baby girl…” Jack embraced you in a long hug. He held onto you and swayed back-and-forth as you sniffled into his shoulder. ”shhhh, shhh you’re alright baby” his voice was always so soothing. You sniffled and wiped your eyes, your belly pushing into Jacks. “I’m sorry” you looked up at Jack who had a look of concern on his face. “Sweetheart, we don’t have to be here. We can tell everyone you’re not feeling well. It’s the only time we’ll have a pass to miss game night” he laughed as he followed your facial expression.

“I’ll be okay, I just needed to cry it out” you rubbed on your belly “I’m okay now, promise.” Jack didn’t believe you, not even for a second. “If you feel uncomfortable we can go home, okay?” You nodded as the two of you walked into the house.

“Y/N! Jack!” Your in laws came and gave the two of you a hug, your mother in law touching your belly almost instantly. “You’re looking so beautiful!” She smiled and you did too “Thanks Maggie! I’m feeling the opposite so I appreciate it” you giggled.

Clay and his girlfriend came over to the two of you and her hands immediately met your stomach, catching you off guard. Jack noticed your reaction, shooting Clay a look. “Babe, you need to ask first” Clay laughed awkwardly and you did too. “It’s okay, really” you smiled in her defense. “I’m so sorry” she said embarrassed and you shrugged, taking a seat next to Jack at the table.

“What are we playing today?” You asked trying to break the awkward tension.

Jack leaned over whispering to you “are you alright? I saw your face.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sometimes I just don’t want to be touched” you whispered back and he nodded.

“How far along are you now?” One of Jacks cousins asked and as she was walking over to touch your belly Jack got frustrated “can we focus on anything other than my wife right now? And stop trying to touch her without asking her permission first, thank you.”

You rubbed his thigh “it’s fine, calm down killer” you whispered and he sighed. You smiled knowing he meant well.

“Well it looks like someone is already in protective daddy mode” Maggie laughed breaking the tension.

[archive2394934]

You know that post I made here? I finally got around to rewatching the episode and I took some pictures to show what I was talking about with Brenner taking special notice of Henry and Eleven, particularly his reactions toward Henry. Also notice the way Brenner's reactions are not so much curiosity as much as they are annoyance toward Henry? Or at least thats how they read to me which is interesting, imo. The following scene, when Eleven beats two shows the same stuff

AND for extra interest, Brenner's behavior while he has Henry tortured is also similar. I'm not sure how you would describe his stance and expressions here. He seems annoyed and exasperated but also kind of apprehensive? Which may indeed point to my little "theory" that Brenner was having Henry tortured in order to prevent him from being able to intervene while the other test subjects attacked Eleven (Not that I think Henry could have helped much without his powers but the other subjects probably wouldn't have tried to harm Eleven and/or would have stopped their attack if Henry popped up). Which would really mean Henry was telling the truth about everything.

Bonus: There is blood on Henry's uniform so this wasn't some "light" tasing or anything they were really giving it to him, which is fucked up! Behind the scenes pics have shown Henry was bleeding from his ears and nose. If the whole literally losing consciousness wasn't enough to indicate how heavy handed and kind of outrageous this actually was.

Nextly, someone went to the effort of making a very good gif set of this so here is some gifs from the scene where Two is "punished" while Brenner tells them not in these words that just because they show talent doesn't mean they are "safe". Again this kind of backs up everything Henry said about how he was trying to help Eleven. It seems he knew Eleven was in danger and tried to save her, like, genuinely. It seems he thought if he gave her tips to help her improve she would show the kind of "talent" Brenner wanted to see, thus protect her. It didn't work this way however and it seems this scene with Two being punished (not to mention Henry's own pretty brutal punishment prior) seems to be the moment it really resonates with Henry that talent has not spared any of them abuse and it will not spare Eleven from Brenner's plans against her. IN FACT, as Henry admits, it seems to have only made it worse.

Final thought? Henry Creel did nothing wrong. But no, seriously, I actually think its a bit interesting how it seems there was potential noticed within Eleven and Brenner planned to harm her to bring it out, but Henry tried to step in and bring it out of her without hurting her and Brenner takes some type of issue with this? Technically Henry was kind of helping. He was helping Eleven bring out her powers without anyone getting hurt. A little odd that this isn't what Brenner wanted? But then we've literally seen Brenner torture Eleven, a scared little girl, for the great crime of not having the heart to kill a cat so that tracks, actually. Which LIKE I ALSO SAID in my post about this, it seems to work toward being like a TWIST in the story that shows HENRY was the one with actual benevolent intentions and behavior toward Eleven. Brenner was the one instead trying to hurt and use her the whole time (like he did to henry) Side note, I think this makes complete sense not just from a I'm here to apologize for Henry Creel angle but also from a "this shit canon stop acting like he's evil for no reason" angle because moreover it makes sense that Brenner would have fully encouraged antagonism and competition between the other numbers. Keeping them enemies with each other, competing with each other and keeping this weirdo lord of the flies hierarchical environment between them meant they couldn't essentially unionize against Brenner. Brenner being mad and concerned that Henry had the audacity to treat Eleven kindly and with friendship feels to me that Brenner wanted to ensure none of them had supports outside of himself. It massively helps him in keeping his control of all of them. So yeah, hope that all makes sense I'm sure someone can probably word it better but there you go.

[pommunist]

i hope i dont sound like i am immediately picking apart what you said because i basically agree with 99% of it i just wanted to add a couple of thoughts i had (this got so much longer than i intended i am so sorry)

I don’t like how he said to be mindful about the intentions of people who raised the question, because a lot of them had genuine concern about it being a possibility and this could have been a very serious and dangerous thing if it had been true.

i fully agree with what you said here - however i feel like the death threats/harassment he was getting kinda justifies what he was saying to an extent. in his position, i doubt he is looking at each and every account to figure out whether the individual was coming from a place of concern or was adding onto the harassment. i don't think outright dismissing things like this is a good idea so to speak, but to me it does make sense, from his pov, to tell people to be mindful. many of those people were coming from a place of concern, but i can see how some of it could have came off as less than such in addition to the threats he was getting even though they were mostly separate situations. if this hadn't been the case it would have rubbed me more in the wrong way, but i can understand why he would say it in this scenario even if its like :/.

however this is something i would encourage of everyone - he is not wrong to basically be saying check the source of where you are getting your information from. i would say 90% of the people talking about it were acting in good faith, but that is not always the case, and people acting in bad faith can still have good points that should be taken seriously. it is just something that i think everyone should take note of - in any situation everyone is going to have bias and if you're going to take someones words as fact you should recognize that. that goes for quackity's words too. he is obviously biased in one way in this situation which doesnt mean he is lying in every word he says, but take that into account when looking at what he says. same goes for the admins who speak out you know?

And great that he’s saying that there has been some restructuring made within the team, and hopefully these changes will only leave the studios with competent people who are good intentioned towards everyone involved. I won’t like though, I fail to see how asking for everyone’s feedback and taking it into account to make these changes wasn’t an option. Also the fact that this restructuring ended up causing them to massively letting go of all the twitter teams as well as some other admins is still an issue.

this is a double edged sword imo - im gonna take it in two parts. he says that the restructuring is good and full of people who are good intentioned, but there really is no way to know that? i am under the assumption that he thought the first set of people were good and they weren't, and im not saying we can't trust these people/his judgement, but there truly is no way to know until things progress. id like to trust that the new management is good, but im wary just because of everything and it is hard to put trust into the new managment without seeing anything come out of it. i know these things take time, but its hard to blindly trust that these guys are good when there is nothing to prove it.

on the twitter admins/other admins, as much as i do not agree with it, it does make sense. it sucks and i hate that it happened, but it was pretty clear that financially keeping the same amount of admins on the team wasn't going to work. removing the twitter admins seems like a logical choice (i loved what they did. i wish they weren't removed. but in the grand scheme of things it does make sense to let them go first because even if it sucks the life and some of the fun out of it, their jobs were not essential to keeping the server running) but the way it was gone about was so... not it. the way they were all informed of how they were fired was just not good. point blank not good. i dont know if there was a way to keep them on while being able to pay them, im inclined to believe at the moment he probably wasn't lying and there wasn't, but it doesnt change the fact that that situation was not handled well. they could have let them go with more communication to the situation. thats what bothers me the most.

Meanwhile people will discuss these topics that are so far removed from the main issue and focus less on what the admins went through.

THIS!!! i do understand why people have brought talks about lore and stuff into this conversation - it highlights what the admins went through using tangible examples lol, but part of me wishes they hadn't because exactly as you said. people focus on these issues and not the other ones! it happened at the start of this too, where people focus on the lore/story related problems (which isn't a wrong thing to point out) but in doing so kinda push away the other issues even if that isnt the intent. sharing these stories was not to complain about pushing x creators lore to the front and holding y creator's back but to highlight some of the conditions and i wish that didn't get misconstrued as much as i feel like it has.

Hey anon ! sorry if i took so long to answer but I’ve wanted to take the time to answer everyone of your point !

-I can also see where he was coming from, and I also don’t doubt that there were bad intentioned people in the lot (thinking of a particular group of people, i think you can guess who 🟩). It’s just that it paints people who have genuine criticism/concern as just being haters, and it’s not the first time he used the "things said by people with bad intentions" point so I’m kinda over it

-YES to everything you said about researching information !!!! Jumping to conclusions or blindly believing any piece of info you see is literally doing for harm than good for anyone involved, always always try to find sources source, fact check and look from an unbiased POV the things you see. Will never forget when the union released their first statement and I saw people either saying that they were a fake account trying to smear the reputation project or that quackity was going to jail, I was like « oh my, we are cooked » 😭

-Also agree with your next point, but as you said we don’t know who these people are (and I don’t necessarily think we should know btw), so we can only hope that they will be competent and caring people who will run the studio in accordance with the law and with better work ethics.

-On the twitter admins getting fired well first we can agree that the way it was done is fucked up. And I understand the difficulty of the financial aspect (to an extent, don’t ask me details about finance, idk shit about money numbers lmao), but it’s giving « Your work was very needed and appreciated while it was free, but now that we may have to pay you we can actually do without it, bye guys ». Especially ehhhh about it since multiple Twitter admins have expressed that getting paid wasn’t an issue, the working conditions were. Though to be fair idk exactly how volunteer work is regulated in every country the admins were from so this may have played a part in their firing.

-And finally yes, the distracting from what matters. Like fans can discuss whatever they want obviously, my argument is more about Q here, like dude are you really sure the main point of contention here is to debate whether or not you were overly interfering in other ccs lore ??? Don’t get me wrong, great that you’re saying it wasn’t the case but the main point of everything was missed by a mile.

Also don’t worry your ask didnt came across as you picking apart what I had said but even if it was, as long as you’re not rude i dont mind people coming to my askbox like « tumblr user pommunist you are wrong about everything and let me tell you why »

[squirrel-fund]

Hey Auds 🖤🖤🖤

It’s me again, this time from my new blog!

So, headcanon of the day! Do you think Mickey actually spelled monogamy wrong? Or did he write something else down? How do you think the follow up conversation went? (Aka “remember the talk we had? What did we decide? We can fuck other people when we’re together, not on our own”)

Love you and your amazing brain! -anon xx

Hello, beautiful!

I'm so happy you made a blog for our boy's headcanons 🧡🖤 God, I love this fandom so much! I could just boop all your noses all day long!

This got way too long 🤣 putting it below the cut so you can avoid.

Alright! *rubs hands together* Ohhhh, this question!!

I had to give this some serious time to ponder in the old noggin before deciding how to answer.

I really want to believe that Mickey did spell monogamy wrong and he spelled it: mahogany... or maybe even: monopoly. I think both are valid ways one might spell it, especially someone who didn't finish high school, having dropped out before finishing 9th grade.

HOWEVER.

I don't like the idea of Mickey being "dumb". I know season 11 likes to disagree with me here but oh fucking well. There's being "book smart" but there's also having "street smarts". Our blue-eyed boy has been surviving basically alone since he was born so, in that instance, Mickey is the fucking Einstein of poverty, the Bill Gates of the Southside. But I digress.

I like to think he wrote something indicating monogamy. Maybe he wrote, "Ian" or "you" or maybe he did spell it wrong. To me, it doesn't really matter what he wrote. His body language in the scene tells you exactly what we need to know: he's fucking terrified.

Ian asks him the one question that Mickey doesn't know how to answer. And I'm not making Ian the bad guy here, he doesn't know the answer either. How could either of them know how to make a marriage work? Every relationship they've ever seen has been violent, broken, hidden, and forced.

Look at the episode as a whole. (I know you only asked about this particular scene but I think to understand it, we need more.) The conversation comes from their disagreement they had that morning about the wedding money. Mickey spent it on things without talking to Ian about it. But, it does seem like he spent it on things that would benefit them both. Beer, lube, ya know, the essentials lol

Now, an interesting conversation is the one that Ian has at work with his female co-worker. He says, "He (Mickey) spent all our wedding money on god knows what."

Interesting choice of words. He could have said, "He spent our money on stupid shit." Or, "He thinks beer and lube are more important than bills and having our own place." But no. He seems to think that Mickey spent the money on other things.

You're probably thinking, "But what things, Audrey?"

Well, sweet reader, what if Ian is concerned that his husband is spending it on the human variety? Meetings in the alley, quick sessions in a sticky bathroom stall? Surely our Mickey would never, but past insecurities tend to hide in the back of our minds, just waiting to jump out when we're vulnerable. How else do you explain a simple conversation about how to handle their money immediately led to a conversation about monogamy and what they want.

Ian comes outside that night, after talking to his co-worker and his most valuable resource for advice, Lip. None of them mention setting rules for the relationship regarding sex, it was always about money... but the root of the problem always comes out.

What is Mickey really spending the money on? What does he do all day if he's not working? If Ian's not around, is someone else keeping Mickey company?

The conversation starts out about "No more secrets" to which Mickey responds, "no more secrets at all?" Anyone else hear, "we need to talk." Under there? Cue a fucking spike to your anxiety. Again, look at Mickey's face, he's worried. Like, where is this conversation going? They may be sitting side by side on the front stairs but they are both on two completely different planets in that moment. Ian wants answers and Mickey is most likely having flashbacks to the infamous break-up.

Ian says they need a "mutual understanding of how shit is going to work."

Mickey: "What does that mean?"

Ian: *looks away* "Like... how we spend money together. Uh, joint purchases." *makes direct eye contact with Mickey* "Monogamy."

When Ian brings up monogamy, Mickey asks what it is. But look at his face. He knows... he absolutely knows. He probably read articles about marriage and how to make it last. How not to be a piece of shit husband like both their dad's were. (I'm just assuming Terry was married to Mickey's mom here.) And then he does something that we've all done. He jokingly says, "You really never want to fuck anyone else?" But it's so much more than that. He's gaging the situation. Testing the waters. Is Ian asking permission? He'd do anything to make Ian happy because that's his love language, even if it would hurt himself in the process.

The rest of that doesn't matter really. Mickey says it's not fair for Ian to fuck other people but he can't, which honestly, fair.

So then, Ian grabs an envelope, rips it in half, and says, "We'll both each write down what we want."

But that could cause more arguments, couldn't it? If they want different things?

I think Mickey decides that "no more secrets" is the right choice here, so, after writing a fucking novel about all this, I actually think Mickey wrote: Ian Galagher.

And here's why:

It's really simple. He misunderstood the assignment. So, embarrassed, he covers his up. "Fuck, I was literally supposed to wrote monogamy? Shit." Remember, he's sensitive. That answer is too soft, even though Mickey isn't as hard as he used to be... I mean, he married Ian... but still, I think being vulnerable is still very strange for him. He's comfortable floating in that, 'don't care, don't matter' headspace. It's a defense mechanism.

And he's not ready to talk about it. Yes, they're married. Yes, they love each other. But admitting that he only wants Ian, for the rest of his life, especially when Ian practically suggested that he's not sure he wants that just moments before... well, that would mess with Mickey.

Apologies for that long explanation of really nothing exciting lol 😆

On to the conversation that I think followed.

Mickey walks off with the other Gallagher's and the Balls, leaving Ian standing there alone before he jogs off to catch up to them.

He grabs Mickey's arm, causing him to stop walking.

"Mick, wait." He gets a raised eyebrow in return and sighs. "If you want to fuck other people it's fine. I just wanna know."

Mickey just stares at his husband, wondering how he agreed to marry someone so fucking clueless. He leans against the chain link fence behind them and crosses his arms. "I fucked other people for like four goddamn years, Ian. If I wanted that to continue I sure as shit wouldn't have waltzed into prison just to be with your crazy ass."

Ian tilts his head in confusion. "Then why wouldn't you show me what you wrote?"

Mickey looks away, vulnerability settling in again, making him squirm under Ian's sweet gaze. "It's... stupid." He bites his lip, before continuing. "Why'd you need to know anyway?"

Now it's Ian's turn to squirm. "I uh, I sorta thought... maybe you were..."

Mickey saves him from having to say it. "You thought I was fucking other people?"

In just nods. What else is there to say.

"Jesus Christ. I thought you were. Especially after that opening line about no more fucking secrets!"

"Me? No, of course not! I want to try and be in a normal fucking relationship for once."

Mickey laughs at that. "Gallagher, we are far from fucking normal."

Ian grins. "Normal... ish?"

Rolling his eyes, Mickey takes the ripped envelope out of his pocket, holding it up in the air between two fingers, away from Ian's grasp. "I'll show you my answer, but then this conversation is over. No giving me shit. Got it?"

Ian agrees, giving Mickey the hand symbol for a scout's honor before Mickey slaps it into his hand. And he's shocked at the words he sees. Fucking speechless.

Mickey huffs out a breath. "You, uh, you said to write what we wanted." He shrugs. "Always been you, man."

And it's too cute, isn't it? This moment they've found themselves in. Maybe if they weren't on the corner of Wallace Street, maybe in some different neighborhood with different residents watching them behind dingy, broken blinds, they could soak it up. Bask in the sweetness that is their connection they welded together years ago in a run down house on the Southside. But here, in the real world, Ian folds the answer up, places it in his back pocket and shrugs, "there's still two Ls in Gallagher."

"Oh, fuck you. I take it back. Change it to, 'fuck all the dudes I can.'"

And Mickey swiftly walks away. He's not running away, just, exiting the situation. He's still uncomfortable and he needs to step away, take a breath, have a fucking smoke.

When they get to Lip's house, they crank up the music and eat. Some smash a few holes in the walls because a hammer is way fucking cheaper than therapy.

But things seem normal again. An understanding settled between them leaving no space for uncertainty or misunderstandings.

Ian wraps an arm around Mickey, laughing with his family and just thrilled to be here, not behind glass, not hearing voices through the static of a prison phone.

He tugs at Mickey's collar, ghosting his fingers over the two words etched into his husband's skin for all eternity. Evidence that through it all, Mickey would always pick Ian.

"I can't believe you still don't know how to spell our last name."

"And I can't believe that you still haven't gotten through that thick skull of yours that you're it for me. Never been a question."

Ian kisses Mickey's temple. "And there never will be again."

[nicetrynicetry]

140

I am tired. And angry. I can’t tell if I’m angry because I’m tired or if the anger itself is tiring, or both. I have been overriding the natural sleepiness that creeps in around 11.30pm each night and choosing to FaceTime with A instead, still humming with excitement when we hang up at 1.30am, and slipping into bed at around 2.17. And if you asked me on each of the thirteen following mornings whether the previous night was worth it, I would’ve said hell yes and are you stupid. Today it rains and I see the size of the bags under my eyes in the train window reflection and I say no. Said eye bags are so deep and perfectly curved that an optimist would say it looks sort of like each of my eyes are smiling. But I look like garbage. I don’t have any place to go except to my studio to talk about multiple sclerosis with V, who would never expect me to look well-rested, but I think what I hate the most is that my fellow commuters might think I’m hungover. I suppose this far into sobriety there is such a thing as a FaceTime hangover, the same way there’s a sodium hangover, or a crying hangover. I don’t remember agreeing with A to such an intensive FaceTime regimen. It feels like when I learned to drive in 8 days, and by the time the test rolled around I was so sick of the dashboard and turn signals and of my lesbian instructor, Karen. However I found out later her wife was dying and I forgave her. It’s still weird that she kept my hooded sweatshirt and denied any knowledge of it. But at least I can drive

Anyway, perhaps today (Thursday) is just the product of one too many days of fatigue. Or the meds, whatever the hell they’re doing to my mind, which I guess is re-learning to selectively inhibit serotonin reuptake all by itself. But it could also be that mine and A’s call last night was not as fun as the others. A explained air travel to me, as though I have never travelled by air. He advised me on how to plan my meals and sleep around the 11 hour flight to LA. I clench my jaw, knowing he is trying to take care of me, but feel condescended to nonetheless. By 12.45am he is telling me how many inaccuracies there are in an essay a girl wrote about one of his best friends, in which she infers he is an abuser. Perhaps it’s a flaw of mine, but whenever a man implies that a woman is crazy, it may as well be any misogynist YouTube Short playing in the background. The rants all sound the same. I also don’t know why I’m being dragged into something that went on between two people, something that only those two people know the true scope of. I imagine I’m being prepped, because A is bringing me to a birthday tea ceremony the day after I arrive in LA, and the guy in the essay will be present. As if I’m going to decline the invitation on moral grounds. I actually did read the essay a long time ago, and forgot many of the details but remember it was well written. I remember nodding along to each paragraph. I guess as someone who was once a very young woman I’m biased when it comes to reading essays about being a very young woman. A goes to great lengths to explain that the friend he knows would never do anything the essay claims he did. I point out that we can never know what it’s like to date our friends. Dating is not friendship. If A and I intended to be friends we would not have FaceTimed thirteen times in as many days. None of my comments or counter-arguments really land. I must look annoyed because A asks, “do you still like me?” “I do”, I say, “I just don’t have anything to do with either of the people we are talking about”. I mention I met the author of the essay in New Orleans and we went on a swamp tour together. I add a visual effect to my face on the screen and turn into a CGI boar

As far as my red hot rage is concerned, everybody is a scumbag. A musician asks me to do their album artwork, but I have had so little luck with collaborations these last few months that agreeing to it is essentially agreeing to burn a bridge that has not yet been built. V is the only person I don’t wish to behead. She manages to wrest me from my funk and we laugh and laugh. She then ruins my life by recommending a documentary about a white woman who had sex with a severely disabled black man, claiming he seduced her by typing on a keyboard that she, his supervisor, partially controls. “This is crazy”, I write to V when I finish in the evening. I send it to my mother, and N and P. V then sends me a press item about a collector we both know, who has been forced to step down from several prestigious art institution boards after telling police cars to mow down pro-Palestine demonstrators in New York. They really picked the worst photo of him ever for the articles, though I guess that is their right

[jessicatravelsamerica]

Tarot Card General Meanings

XVIII The Moon

The moon represents secrets to be revealed. Perhaps we have been seeing things differently than they actually are, or even someone else has shaped a false reality.

The moon is a symbol of your intuition. Again, trust your intuition, you already know the answers that you seek.

The moon represents the mother, as the sun the father, and is the feminine concept of our home, the comforts of home, the level that we are cared for, and our private lives.

The moon changes sign every 2 days or so. It reflects the light of the sun to different degrees, depending on the phase of the moon. The new moon happens when it is mostly dark, there is no moon to be seen. This is still a powerful moon, arguably, the new moon could be more powerful than the full moon (always depending what you are trying to manifest and how you are going to harness the power of the moon) because the new moon while dark, is emanating lunar energy. When the sun is shining on the moon you see the part of the moon reflecting the light with the full moon appearing as a round moon that is completely illuminated from our point of view. When the moon reflects the light of the sun, the energy being emanated with now be that of the sun in addition to the lunar energy so there may be some competition between the solar energy and the lunar energy. The point here being you have to pay attention to the sign the moon is in as well as the phase so you can work your spells to cooperate with the energy being received by the Earth from the Celestial Bodies in our solar system.

The moon is very feminine. Most women menstruate on a lunar cycle. My last period happened to occur during the Full Moon in Scorpio during Taurus season last month. This is powerful feminine energy. When you are menstruating it might be a good time for feminine reset and careful meditation about your intentions so you can work with your divine feminine energy.

The moon is mysterious. A new romance could bring an exciting mystery that gives you those questions you ask yourself and wait for the reveal. Does she feel the same way? Only time will tell, and do we ever really know for sure? People often consult psychics for guidance in their romantic lives because things have a tendency to not be what they seem in relationships these days.

The Moon in astrology rules the sign of Cancer. Cancer is symbolized in astrology by the crab. I love my cancers. They are highly intuitive and sentimental. It's hard to get close to them but when they let you into their hearts they are very loving and caring and show the people they love a lot of concern. People with their natal sun in cancer are usually very personable. They get along well with others and work well with others especially in a public setting. They can be a little bit more difficult to live with. These humans are prone to having a spicy temper. Also, they are right a lot when they make intuitive predictions. However, as great as the accuracy is for them, it can work against them because they get used to being right and forget to check themselves and they might close off to the suggestion that they could be wrong.

I always reserve the right to be wrong. That is a concept I feel is important to talk about when we discuss The Moon in tarot because this is the very essential when it comes to reading the cards accurately. You must listen to your intuition when you read the cards. I am very good at reading tarot cards. I am confident in my readings and I have an extremely close relationship with my cards; I know the cards well, I can read reverse meanings, and I trust my instincts when it comes to reading them. In this very blog, I am rambling on about the meanings for all the cards off the top of my head, and if I wanted to make these blogs longer I could probably think of a lot more stuff to say about each one. That being said, I still read them wrong sometimes. I'll admit, it is not very often that I find that I read the cards wrong. There have been a handful of times that I realized my mistake hours, days, maybe even months, or much, much later. That's why the more you talk to me about your tarot questions, the easier it is for me to get a message. Sometimes I will face all my cards upright and not do reverse meanings just to get a more clear picture. Using 78 potential cards by only doing upright placements is fewer meanings than 156 potential cards to give a message. However, one could argue that more meanings is going to give you more specific messages and therefore easier to read... I personally find that doing my cards that way actually makes things more complicated and it's more difficult to be confident.

We have an intuition so we should use it. Like all things, we just need to keep it in balance. Doing stuff like reading tarot cards will help strengthen our intuitiveness.

Intuition is something we all have regardless of gender, even though it is something assigned to feminine energy. The Moon represents intuition, the dark parts of our mind, and great secrets to be revealed. Things may not be as they seem. The truth presents itself if you pay attention and seek truth. The sun will rise. Every night we are blessed by the moon and then every day we are cleansed and protected by the energy of the sun. The moon may be complex and mysterious while the sun is simple and has nothing to hide. Both celestial bodies are powerful forces in our reality on Earth.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi Quil, it's me, June. I've been thinking of seeing the school councillor. My Dad said he was going to find me a therapist after I agreed, but he hasn't gotten back to me yet. But the thing is, I don't know how to tell my parents. My Mom has no one to talk to and doesn't like talking to me about stuff because she doesn't want it impacting me. But she's finally opening up. If I tell her, she might just go back to the way she was. So what should I do? I want her to be able to talk to me

June! Hello! It's lovely to see you again. If you think that seeing the school counselor would be beneficial for you, then I say go for it. I don't have a lot of experience with them myself so I can't tell you what to expect, but they are there for a reason.

When it comes to therapists, at least where I am, it can take a bit of time to find one and start attending sessions. So I presume that's why your Dad hasn't gotten back to you about it. Waiting lists can slow things down, so a school counselor could be a nice bridge between those two that gives you almost a trial run in explaining things and talking about what you're dealing with.

Like I said I don't really have experience with school counselors, but you might want to stop by and ask them what the policy or rules are about seeing them. It's possible you'd be able to see them without your parents being informed, exceptions being for certain things expressed that need further action. That's how it works in traditional therapy; you can talk about things and decide that you want none of it to be shared with others (even as a minor once you're like 14 or something), the only exception being things that need further action like suicidal behaviors. I don't know how much of that would be the same at a school, but I think it's at least worth looking into if it might be helpful for you

Of course if you want to tell your parents then disregard that. I think if you're concerned with your mom no longer opening up to you because she thinks she's impacting you (which she may be), being upfront and giving a reason for seeing the school counselor would prevent her from coming to her own conclusions and acting on them. You could share one reason but not all of the reasons you want to see the counselor. Perhaps you could express that you have a lot of anxiety and want to talk to someone professional about it in the meantime before you start seeing a therapist without mentioning that some of your anxiety may be caused by things she'd take personally. I don't know if that example applies to you, but I think you get what I mean.

As for how to tell them or bring it up, perhaps you can find a way to slip it into a different conversation to be more casual and gauge how they react without making it a big deal. My first thought was that if your parents ask about school or your friends, you could bring it up as if it was an idea sparked by them. Either saying one of your friends mentioned seeing a counselor and it made you curious to see about it, or saying that when giving out some information about the semester/year a teacher or someone like that mentioned the counselors and how they're always there to talk and that that made you start thinking about it. I don't know what would best work for your situation, but coming up with a harmless excuse to push it off yourself to alleviate some of the anxiety over talking about it could help.

However if you can't find a way to squeeze it in naturally into a conversation, then I would say at a certain point it would be best to just bring it up yourself even if the tone would be more serious. Putting it off forever won't help.

Essentially, if you think the school counselor would be helpful for you and you want to give it a try but don't want your parents to take it personally (regardless of how much it is about them), in that situation I'd find a reason to go to give them that doesn't relate to them. You don't have to lie or make something up, but you don't have to tell them absolutely everything. You can keep some things private and learn what the privacy policies are for your school counselor.

As always though, this is just what I would do to try and navigate this situation. So feel free to ignore anything or everything I've said. Me saying things like "pass it off as someone else's idea!" and saying nothing about how it's not your responsibility for you to manage your mother's feelings might sound bad, but I think it's more useful to take into account more realistically what would get you through it or what you want. Because even if it isn't your responsibility to do that for your mother, it's what you want, and I think it's more helpful to work with that then give you reminders to the contrary. So that's why some of what I would do in this situation is more like making the best that you can out of the situation, if that makes sense.

I hope whatever you decide to do, even if it's nothing, works out for the best! If you ever need to talk or anything, I'm here <3

[scoppyowl]

Phantom Thread

Phantom Thread, for many audience, mainly seems like another boring misogynistic movie about power dynamics in a toxic relationship. However, the director, actors and some critics regards it differently. They see it more as a love story. At first, I thought the power struggle portrayed throughout the film was just unimpressive. I just thought 'Is this another story about a woman from humle background making her way into a rich pretigious London society by captivizing her cranky old rich man?' So it was rather the aesthetics like clothes, choreography, and music that I appreciated more after watching the film multiple times, than the whole theme and the plot of the film.

However, reading some of the crtics reviews ,that shed light on the love of the couple's relationship, completely changed my opinion on this film. If you really carefully follow the emotions of Alma, the lover of our protagonist Reynolds, she does not take this love as some kind of a fling, but rather take it as something that she would keep. She does get confused and fumbles the first time she sees the career-side of Reynolds life, as he appears to be a little too uptight, stubborn, and a little too keen on his sister. As soon as she caught his drift meticulously on his character and on his work, she excels in every little task that she is given in the House of Woodcock. At times, it looks like they really looks like a perfect couple that love each other and figure out the career side of things in their lives. Expectedly, the perfect scenario does not last long in a relationship with a cranky and stubborn person like Reynolds. He gets upset by littlest thing of his partner, just like any other couples, and take it out on Alma when his career doesn't turn around his way. He got bored of Alma. Unlike the first time he met Alma, he is no longer infatuated with Alma. For him, Alma could've been one of the long line of girls whom he could just ditch after his infatuation period is over.

Alma turn this scenario around. She was not one of those people who just yearn for love from their partners. Nor does she expect her partner to be perfect. She knows Reynolds. She knows his thoughts only by reading his face, his insecurity on his relationship and career that he tries to hide, and even his little vulnerabilities and superstition concerning his mother. This is because she pays attention to him. She already seees how determined her love towards him, and therefore, try to know and understand him better. So, in her way, she challenges him in the most essential time of his work. By putting his work and life at risk, he realize that just sticking with his old ways and his headstrong trait would not persist his relationship. This is because, even with depending everything on Alma in work and his recovery while he was sick, things did trun out ok. The dress and his helath were both recovered withouth any other problem. Reynolds learns that depending on someone other than his sister was essential as he is deep inside so anxious and worried if he would meet the expectation of others and himself. By completely loosing himself on the most important time of his project and let Alma take every control of him, he learns that compromising his ways with others not only in work but also in relationship is important. For him, Alma is the one who understands his true insecurity and tells him to loose control of things - even though the way itself is a bit extreme- when he gets too stressed out and ,therefore, obsessed with things.

The first time he meets Alma, he said he is completely unable to have a long term relationship with a woman. He says this is a sort of a curse. This is just an excuse of him refusing to grow up and trying to stick on his own way of living -a beacon of his immaturity to have mature long-term relationship with a woman. However, by Alma getting into the picture, and try to keep the relationship, he, therefore, learns how to compromise himself in the relationship.

Alma's behavior personally made me reflect a lot about my reltionship with man. I met a boy, who wasn't stubbbron like Reynolds, but had his own insecurity and immaturity like any other men. Although he understood how important the relationship is and tried to be in one, he wasn't fully grown up to really commit to something. I was baffled to hear it, but I knew it was coming. This is because from the first time I saw him, I could see the immature part of him. I felt like I can challenge him and find a way to make this relationship work, when he tired to give in. However, I, myself, was inexpereicned with relationship and love, and got confused and too much heartbroken to really challenge him. I guess I was more like one of the ex-lover of Reynolds who appeared in the first few minutes in the film where she cried to him 'Where are you Reynolds? I can not simply get your attention back at me.' I don't think she is a uncommon type of a person in a realtionship. A lot of people do get needy a lot, and expect so much from their partner, but try less on understnading their partner. I do not balme them. Because I'm not the one to say they are being needy. It's a human nature to try to save themselves from being in a vulnerable position. So even though people get dumped and heartbroken, they would rather move on to someone who is more easy to coexist and perfectly match the ideal type of a partenr than try to see the real difficult side of the partner and make the hard relationship work.

Would things be different with him if I had known about relationship in this depth in the past? Maybe. But I think each person has their own time of doing things. Some people learn fast, some learn later in life. Just like Alma and Reynolds, each people would meet their own time of really understanding the relationship and eventually make it happen. I guess same goes for me. I think a lot about him, and sometimes think that I really could've changed him if I was not so heartbroken and naive in relationship. However, I can't change how I feel in the past. It's just what it is. You learn from the past- even multiple times with multiple mistakes- and bid my time working on myself.

p.s. I really loved the character Cecil. She was a real bomber. Unlike any side female characters that ultimately becomes a intruder in the protagonist's relationship, she sees the true essense of Alma that can be a catalyst for Reynolds to mature and grow up both personally and professionally. Also the actress who played Cecil is amazing as well. She understands the character and the love of Alma and Reynolds discreetly and portrays it perfectly in the film. Both her performance and multiple interviews with her show it.

[oddaodd]

· I Don't Go In For Sweets ·

Request: by a lovely anon "set after the events of season 3. Tommy can't handle the company, he's still grieving and he has to be there for Charlie so Polly tells him she knows a girl from a good family to get married He ends up agreeing (aunt Pol can be very persuasive) but even though he's married, this new girl isn't considered as a wife. He doesn't really make any effort but his "wife" understands, he's a widowed father who lost his first wife only a year ago. However since they are...in this, she wants to make her time as enjoyable as possible for the both of them and for Charlie too. But no matter what Tommy makes it a point of honor to not let her in, to not let her replace Grace so he ignores her, he works more, tries to spend as little as possible in the house. Reader stays patient, it will be alright and Charlie is making her quite busy anyway. One night, Tommy comes home completely drunk and maybe a bit high too, he can't even make it to his office. Thankfully Reader is still awake, she takes care of him and Tommy just...melts at how gentle Reader is, he may be able to keep his distant while sober but it's much harder in his state. He admits to her how he's been feeling and all. Ever since that night, something changed, Tommy feels some comfort, some solace being around her, she accepts him wholly, even his flaws, the bad side of his business and she tries to provide some sort of safe place for when it gets too hard." (I edited the request because it was very long, but I kept all essential parts in there)

Author’s note: I loved loved loved writing this and it ended up being SUPER long, but I’m very happy with how it turned out. As always, I hope you like it and have the loveliest of days!

Warnings: season 3 SPOILERS sort of, but not really, still read at your own risk. Arranged marriage, mentions of alcohol and drugs, angst.

·

“Thomas, you may not be able to see it, but you’re breaking apart” Polly spoke with a sigh as she lit a cigarette after everyone was dismissed from a family meeting.

Everyone had left Tommy’s office in arrow house rather gaily after receiving their fair compensations for partaking in the whole Russian ordeal, all except Polly, who remained where she sat, wishing for a word with her nephew

Tommy merely scoffed at her concern before lighting his own cigarette and taking a puff “I’ll be alright”

“And Charlie?” Pol pressed knowing Tommy’s mourning was not only affecting him, but Charlie as well. “What about him?”

“He’s fine” He said before turning around to look through the window, ignoring his Aunt’s heavy stare.

“You take too much after your mother” she sighed half angry half sad “she too loved pretending everything was alright and I don’t need to remind you where that lead her”

Tommy sighed deeply, he knew he could fool anyone. Anyone but Polly. “We’ll manage”

“Consider my offer” Polly said standing up and making her way to the door “Y/n is a good girl from a good family” she persuaded before leaving the room.

Tommy sighed at his Aunt’s words, he wasn’t ready to get married again even when he knew the woman he would be marrying was a nice one. He felt like he was spitting on Grace’s grave and he hated himself for even considering the prospect, but he knew a mother figure would be good for Charlie.

He spent the rest of the day pondering about Polly’s suggestion and remembering his own childhood in the shadow of the absent tortured presence that his mother had been. It didn’t take him long to decide he didn’t want that for Charlie, so that same night he phoned Polly.

“I’ll do it” was all he said before hanging up. There was no need for more words, Polly would know exactly what he meant.

Exactly a week later, Tom was standing in the altar of a church that was significantly smaller than the one from his first wedding. The fact that everything about this wedding was so obscenely different from his first did soothe his guilt a bit. And as he stood there he couldn’t keep his mind from traveling to the days leading up to his wedding to Grace. She had made sure everything was perfect and had made an effort to invite every single relative she could think of. She remembered her rambling on an on about fabrics, insisting that everything ought to be perfect when he in all honestly couldn’t care less, he just wanted to marry her.

All his thoughts vanished away with a poof when Y/n came into sight. And what a sight she was. She had insisted on doing her own makeup and on pinning flowers to her hair to compliment her headpiece and her elegant, yet simple white dress flowed almost mystically as her father gave her away. She had never imagined she would be marrying someone she didn’t know, but she wanted to look her best for getting married is not something people do everyday.

When she stood in the altar, she offered her to be husband a smile which he did not return, instead turning his attention to the priest before them. She mirrored his actions, her heart beating violently under her chest as the priest began speaking.

It all felt like a blur, she could swear it had only been a second since her father had given her away and yet, the priest had already uttered the dreaded “you may now kiss the bride”

Tommy barely brushed his lips against hers and soon the sound of everyone clapping invaded her ears. They had a small party afterwards in Y/n’s former house. Her parents had invited pretty much all of their acquaintances while tommy had only invited his close relatives.

When night fell Tommy was more than ready to leave “Are you ready to go?” was one of the few sentences he uttered to his now wife that night.

She again offered him a smile before saying “yeah just let me say goodbye”

The drive to arrow house was tense, although Y/n didn’t know Thomas very well she would tell he was unhappy. She wondered about what to say to him, but couldn’t come up with anything good enough and soon enough they were pulling over in front of Tommy’s stately home.

“Charlie must already be asleep, but I'll introduce you tomorrow” he said opening Y/n’s door for her.

“It’s alright” she said looking at him, not quite knowing what to do next.

“Your parents sent some of your belongings, I've already asked the maids to take them up to your-our room” he said

“Thank you, Thomas” she smiled as she walked into the big house not yet feeling close enough to him to call him Tommy.

His name falling from her lips caused an echo of bittersweet emotions to stir inside him but he masked it perfectly well as she introduced Y/n to the maids that went to the door to take their coats.

“Frances here will show you the way to the room” he said after having made introductions.

“This way, Mrs” Frances politely said.

Y/n began following her but stopped when she didn’t hear Tommy’s footsteps behind her own.

“Are you not coming?” she asked turning to look at him.

“Maybe in a bit” was all he said before he walked away down one of the many spacious hallways of the house.

After Y/n made herself comfortable in the room and changed into her nightgown she took the time to peek around the room like one always does when one is a strange place. After familiarizing herself with it she laid down in the big bed. She was nervous, she knew what happened on wedding nights. A small chuckle stopped at her lips when she recalled the stories her close already married girlfriends told her. If she hadn’t married a complete stranger she too would be looking forward to it.

Her thoughts ended up luring her to sleep after a while despite her nerves and the night went by in a ridiculously fast flash. The next morning she woke up alone and after getting ready she made her way downstairs. Tommy and Charlie were already in the dining room when she entered it.

“good morning” she said

Charlie immediately turned his attention to her, his eyes widening while his dad merely glanced at her while he muttered a “Good morning “ of his own.

Y/n sat down next to Tommy while he cleared his throat “charles, this is Y/n. We got married yesterday so she’ll be living with us from now on”

Charlie merely nodded in understanding before playing around with his food.

A tense air flooded breakfast until Tommy stood up, having barely touched his food and spoke turning to look at Y/n “I have to go now, if you need anything feel free to ask Frances”

“Alright” Y/n replied feeling a bit disappointed, she would love to get to know him, but she already knew it was going to be difficult.

“I have to go too” Charlie announced in a timid voice, interrupting Y/n’s thoughts. Despite her disappointment she understood, maybe he was just shy and his dad just reticent. They had lost a wife and a mother after all.

The first few days after that, Charlie avoided her nearly as much as his father did and Y/n remained in lonely patience until one night Charlie’s cries interrupted her focus on the book that she had just bought. She rushed to his room and called out his name as she entered not knowing if the boy would be comfortable with her or not.

“What is it?” she asked worried as she knelt by his bed.

“I miss my mum” the boy confessed looking at her with teary eyes as he clutched his blanket.

Y/n felt her heart give a small ache at his confession and in an attempt to comfort him she spoke “She’s not really gone, you know?”

“She’s dead” the boy sobbed.

“but people who die, don’t leave us. Not really anyhow” she said hesitantly rubbing his arm. “just because we cant see them doesn’t mean they are not here”

“I miss seeing her” he continued.

“Oh but you can still see her”

“how”

“before you go to bed just think about her, then she’ll visit you in your dreams” Y/n spoke as if she was telling a fairy tale.

“really?” the boy’s eyes widened.

“really” Y/n confirmed “But you have to think really really hard”

“I’ll try” Charlie said having calmed down a bit.

“very well” Y/n said as she stood up, but Charlie’s voice stopped her.

“can you stay till I fall asleep?”

After that night, Charlie hardly left Y/n’s side and she felt much better with his company for she was sure if he wasn’t there keeping her on her toes all day she would fall into a depressive chasm induced by her husband’s absence.

On the rare moments he was home she tried to strike up conversation with him over breakfast or late at night when he came home and she was burdened by insomnia. But Tommy only humored her with a few short responses before excusing himself or turning to face the other side of the bed.

It wasn’t only the fact that he avoided her as much as he could, but he also made it a priority to exclude her at all times. She was never invited into family meetings or night’s at The Garrison so she thought it was a miracle when tommy didn’t oppose to her planning Charlie’s birthday party.

She invited only Tommy’s family which instantly warmed up to her, noticing what a good influence she was and Polly wanted to slap Thomas for the way he had been acting throughout his marriage to Y/n. Almost feeling guilty for getting her into this mess.

When the party ended Tommy shut himself in his office like he often did when he was at home and though he had never given Y/n a reason to believe she was welcome in there of all places, she found herself allowing herself in after putting Charlie to bed.

Tommy looked up as she entered and let out a sigh before turning his attention back to some papers he had been reading.

“I noticed you didn’t have any” she commented not letting his sigh deflate her as she laid a plate with a slice of homemade chocolate cake on his desk. “it’s really good if I may say so myself” she mused sitting down in a chair opposite to his as she dug in with a fork in her own slice.

“I don’t go in for sweets” he stated.

“Not even chocolate?” Y/n tried, but tommy didn’t answer, instead he just shook his head.

“I still think you should try it, it’s not overly sweet, and…”

“is there anything you need?” he interrupted bluntly a bit harsher than he would’ve liked.

His tone caught her off guard and when she couldn’t come up with an answer tommy again turned his attention back to his papers.

“I wish you could let me in” She softly confessed after a few tense seconds.

“Well I wish we hadn’t married but I guess things don’t always go the way we want them to go”

Tommy knew he had crossed a line by the silence that again settled into the room. He looked up at Y/n with her parted lips and misty eyes. They exchanged glances for a second but instead of allowing him to see her like that any longer, she stood up setting her plate on his desk and walked away, only allowing a few tears to drop by when she was out of the room and his sight.

After that she stopped trying to get closer to him. He still loved his late wife and she understood, people in grief never mean what they say after all, but his words stung nonetheless.

She stopped trying to wait for him at night to see if he had gotten home alright and during breakfast she only uttered polite good mornings.

One night however, Y/n was yanked out of a peaceful sleep by a loud crash. She was on her feet in no time and after checking into Charlie’s room to see if he was alright she cautiously ventured downstairs. A few incoherent mumbles filled her ears before her husband came into sight, fumbling with his coat to get it off.

“need help?” she asked earning his attention.

“I’m fine” he said finally taking it off but as he went to take a step to begin walking the floor under him moved and he lost his balance, his knees crashing loudly against the wooden floor.

Y/n offered him a hand and helped him up. He smelled of whiskey and cigarettes, his hands were shaky, consequence of the snow, no doubt. “let’s get you upstairs”

“I can do it on me own” he slurred letting go of her hand.

“stop being so stubborn” she derided, snaking one of her arms around his waist as she helped him upstairs.

Y/n helped him into bed, tookoff his shoes and went to the bathroom to fetch a small towel and some cold water.

She dampened the towel with the cold water before dabing it gently on Tommy’s forehead. His eyes never leaving her face as she did so, making her grow a bit nervous. She continued, trying her best to ignore it until she felt his hand softly caressing her cheek.

“You are beautiful” he rasped.

“Stop it, Thomas” she said feeling her cheeks grow red when she felt a bit sad that he had to be completely drunk to compliment her.

Even in his drunken state he seemed to notice he was making her uncomfortable so he held his tongue until Y/n laid in bed next to him after turning on the lights.

“I’m sorry” he interrupted the silence “For the way I’ve been acting” the whiskey and cocaine making him more vulnerable and open “I guess I was afraid that if I let you in then she would disappear”

He didn’t expect her to answer, but then her voice came in a soft exhausted tone“ I don’t intend to replace her. You don’t need to act all defensive and secretive. Even if it’s not what you wanted, we are married.”

“I Know” was all he said.

Y/n expected him to withdraw more from her after showing himself that vulnerable to her that night but she was wrong. He began arriving home earlier, sometimes even asking if he could come along on the walks she and Charlie so much adored going on. And Y/n finally felt her marriage was going somewhere maybe it wasn’t based on love yet, but it was something.

One day she was at the stables while Charlie was taking a nap. She had always adored horses.

“I didn’t know you liked horses” came Tommy’s smooth voice causing her to jump.

“You never asked” she smiled petting a black horse as he walked closer to her.

“We could go out for a ride, I’m sure Charlie wouldn’t mind letting you borrow his horse” Tommy offered as he too began to pet the horse, his fingers brushing against Y/n’s for a brief second.

“I’d love to, but I am afraid I don’t know how to ride, Tommy” she said, panicking for a second after having called him that. But she rested assured as soon as he spoke again.

“Well that can be fixed” he said opening the door of the stall and guiding the horse outside.

“You mean now?” Y/n asked with a laugh.

“Got something better to do?” he asked walking out of the stable with the horse. Y/n observed tommy as he prepared the horse. She had never seen him so gentle and calm before and she only realized she had been staring when Tommy directed his attention to her to ask her if she was ready.

“I think so” she said going to stand next to the horse wondering how the hell to climb up. But before she had any more time to think she felt Tommy’s hands on her waist giving her a push that allowed her to pull herself up on the animal. It was a good thing she had chosen to wear slacks that day, she thought.

“Goodness this is high” she said nervously looking down at Tommy when he began guiding the horse to move in a slow walk.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall” he promised repressing a mirthful tone at her nervousness.

He guided the horse with her around the property in the crisp evening air and Y/n allowed herself to relax with every step the horse took. Tommy’s presence made her feel safe and protected and she found it increasingly harder to look away from his figure. She wondered if he could feel her eyes on him.

When the sky began turning soft shades of purple and orange the pair returned to the stables. When the time came from Y/n to come down from the horse, tommy helped her again. Y/n began to love the feeling of him touching her and when her feet touched the ground in front of Thomas, he didn’t remove his hands from her waist right away and instead fixed his blue eyes on her, not wanting to stop looking at her.

She too fixed her eyes on Tommy as she felt a silent gasp in the base of her throat. That was the way she would’ve liked him to look at her on their wedding day. Tommy then leaned in, almost as if he were asking for permission before he tenderly pressed his lips to Y/n’s.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz @slytherinicequeen @lilymurphy03

[robininthelabyrinth]

Prompt: JZX is more politically aware, but mostly lonely. When he learns that JGY is his younger brother he's determined to be a good dage. His only examples however, are LXC, who hes not sure is human, WWX who- just- NO, and NMJ, who despite being his sworn brother seems to HATE JGY? So hes on his own. It can't be that hard right? Getting his mom to stop beating JGY is a good start, maybe helping catch up in training? (JGY is about to get so much awkward affection, it mightsave everything.)

ao3

When Jin Zixuan heard for the first time that his father was acknowledging one of his (many) bastards, bringing him home to be recognized as the Jin-er-gongzi, his first reaction was not, as his mother expected, overwhelming rage and disappointment, the way it was for her.

In fact, it was mostly delight – delight, and fear.

He’d known from a young age that he was never going to get any siblings from his mother, and while he’d known in a vague sort of way that his father as a notorious philanderer with bastards aplenty, it hadn’t ever been relevant to his life on account of the fact that none of them were ever acknowledged. He’d assumed that it would always be that way, and for the first twenty years of his life, it was.

Until now.

He was going to have a brother – no, worse. He was going to bea brother, a big brother; that was a position that came with responsibilities. He had to be a good role model, a teacher of all things good and righteous and proper, but also needed to care for them and take care of them – it was, to be perfectly honest, a brand new experience. Through some trick of fate, Jin Zixuan was among the youngest of his cousins and cohorts of his peers; there was something of an age gap between him and the next set of shidi in his sect, and anyway he’d never been expected to care for his shidi in a parental sort of manner – the Jin sect was too concerned with class to allow such closeness without a blood tie to excuse it.

So he was starting, essentially, from scratch.

It might’ve been smoother and more straightforward if he’d met his brother immediately, fresh from the battlefield where all such divisions were blurred and vague; they could have been shield-brothers, that way, and Jin Zixuan might not know much about brothers, but he had fought in a war and knew that much. But his father had whisked Jin Guangyao (and why was it ‘Guangyao’ instead of ‘Ziyao’?) away immediately, insisting that he needed his help with setting up the Phoenix Mountain hunt, so they hadn’t had a chance to meet at that stage. Jin Zixuan realized, of course, that organizing the Phoenix Mountain hunt was a big deal and, probably, a way for his father to show that he trusted his newest son, so he stepped back and kept to himself…well, mostly.

There was that incident with Jiang Yanli.

Either way, though, he didn’t have a chance to get to know Jin Guangyao until they were both back at Jinlin Tower, where the strict rules of etiquette and formality reigned supreme, and when they did Jin Guangyao was perfectly polite and gracious and incredibly fake. It was then that Jin Zixuan realized that he really, truly had no idea how to connect with another person if they weren’t making just about all the effort, and furthermore started to worry that he was being a bad big brother.

Naturally, this called for research.

“Yes, dear,” A-Li said, hiccupping with laughter. She’d agreed to walk in the gardens with him again, and since they were engaged now they could even be left alone – in fact, they were left alone a bit more often than they probably ought to be, which was likely his mother’s hint that children would be better obtained sooner rather than later and little things like marriage dates oughtn’t get in the way of that. “That makes perfect sense. Lots of research. Studious, serious research. What else could you possibly do?”

“You’re laughing at me,” Jin Zixuan said suspiciously. “Definitely at and not with. Have I done something wrong?”

“Not at all! I think it’s quite charming that you think this is the most straightforward way to bond with someone, instead of, say, just going and talking to the person directly – really charming. Delightful. Really! Don’t mind me one bit.” She wiped her eyes. “Now, tell me, who are you planning on talking with first for your ‘research’? Chifeng-zun?”

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jin Zixuan said. “I mean, I also thought about him first, since his younger brother is a half-brother as well, but they’ve known each other for ages and ages, haven’t they? Chifeng-zun all but raised his younger brother – he’s more of a parent than a brother! And, well, you know, A-Yao and him…”

“They don’t really get along,” Jiang Yanli agreed. “You’re right, he’s probably not the best person to ask. Who else, then? Zewu-jun?”

“I don’t think I could live up to his example even if he sat down and advised me on how to do it,” Jin Zixuan said sincerely. “I mean, he’s just – you know? He’s perfect.”

“Too perfect,” Jiang Yanli agreed, and that was why he loved her quite so desperately. “Almost like a painting – nice to admire from afar, but a little lifeless up close…anyway, you wouldn’t want Jin-er-gongzi to end up like Hanguang-jun, would you?”

Jin Zixuan most certainly did not want an overly rule-abiding, stiff-faced disciplinarian as a younger brother. No thanks!

“So he’s out,” Jiang Yanli mused. “Who else is left?”

Jin Zixuan coughed. “Meaning no offense,” he said. “But, uh…I don’t think it’d be appropriate…”

“Oh, no, definitely don’t use A-Xian as a role model!” Jiang Yanli appeared mildly alarmed at the thought. “He and A-Cheng love each other, but things were always a little complicated – no, definitely don’t do that.”

Jin Zixuan exhaled in relief: crisis averted.

“Is there anyone else you might ask? I don’t think I know any others of your peers that are older siblings.”

“Not in the Great Sects, no. But anyway, I was thinking…well, I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not –” He wasn’t exactly a strategic genius. “But I was thinking of approaching it from the other direction.”

“Oh?”

“A good older brother is judged primarily by the younger brother, right? If you’re a good older brother on paper but your younger brother hates you, there’s no point. So I was going to ask the younger brothers and see what it was about their older brothers that they liked.”

“An interesting strategy,” Jiang Yanli said.

Jin Zixuan frowned. ‘Interesting’ might be the word most often used when he proposed plans, but it usually didn’t actually mean that the other side agreed with the plan. Certainly Chifeng-zun had said several times that several of his proposed battle tactics were ‘interesting’ and he’d never even once used a single one of them. “What’s wrong with the idea?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing…it’s only…”

“Only what?”

“Think about who you’d be asking,” Jiang Yanli said. “What would Nie-gongzi be likely to say?”

“…probably that a good older brother is one that indulges all his whims, never makes him do anything, and buys him stuff.” Jin Zixuan grimaced. “A-Yao is far too talented for such treatment; he’d think I was being condescending and treating him like a child.”

“Mm, likely yes, I’m afraid. And A-Cheng would probably clam up immediately, refuse to answer, and then, if you did manage to get it out of him, say that a good older brother would be one that was there all the time doing his job.”

“But A-Yao already does his job! If anything, he’s overlyconscientious about it!”

“Exactly.”

“And the only other one to ask is Lan Wangji,” Jin Zixuan realized. “And he won’t say anything at all, because he’s a lump of rock that doesn’t speak!”

Jiang Yanli snorted. It sounded involuntary, distinctly resembled the sound of a pig, and she looked momentarily shocked that the sound had come from her, so he pretended not to notice.

“I’m doomed,” he moaned. “I don’t know how I’m going to do this…A-Li, you must have some other suggestion!”

“Well, I might have one,” she said, and he looked eagerly at her. “It involves you actually having a conversation with A-Yao, though.”

“Oh, well, that’s sure to fail,” Jin Zixuan said, and now she was laughing again. “I mean it!”

“We’ll think of something, I’m sure,” she said, giggling. “Don’t worry. With both of us on the task, I’m sure we’ll get things in proper shape!”

[realcube]

❥ HOW HE CONFESSES

characters ❥ mikey, draken & baji 

tw ❥ the beach, bad driving, mentions of murder and cursing 

cr ❥ requested by anon

a/n ❥ i’ve not read the manga yet :’(

MIKEY 

♥ his love language is shoplifting for you <33

♥ like okay.. in writing it kinda sounds pathetic compared to all the other shit he does but like.. he goes through the effort of personally picking up your favourite snack from the grocery store —instead of getting his toman underling to do it for him — and hiding them under his shirt 

♥ and he thinks about you the whole time he is sprinting away from security 

♥ if that isn’t true love idk what is 

♥ today wasn’t any ol’ day tho, snacks and sweets were going to cut it 

♥ instead, he went for the big shiny rock on a ring he keeps seeing the window of the rock shop on the high street

♥ it was pretty, for a rock, but not pretty enough for anyone in their right mind to think it’s worth £10,000/$14,000/ ¥1,500,000!!!

♥ however, after hearing that price from a salesperson, he knew that stupid rock ring was exactly how he’d win your heart <3 

♥ it was a challenge and it had him working overtime, but after pulling some strings, doing a couple favours, and maybe even inadvertently killing some people (you never know 🤷‍♂️), he managed to get his hands on the pristine stone, which he had come to learn was called a diamond, which was why it was so expensive 

♥ the guy who did him the favour of stealing it initially asked if mikey was planning on proposing and mikey said yes —since asking you out on a date is technically a proposal — and the dude didn’t even question it, he just said good luck

♥ and that sort of energy was exactly what mikey needed right now as he stood behind a wall near your lunch table as he mentally prepared himself for what he was about to do 

♥ all your friends had left yet you were still sitting there alone since mikey texted you and asked for you to wait behind, and the fact you actually did filled him with hope from the get-go

♥ “(y/n)! there you are!” mikey greeted as if he didn’t know exactly where you were this whole time. why was his heart thumping so harshly in his chest? and why did he suddenly feel overwhelmingly embarrassed? i mean, he’s not done anything worth being awkward about.. yet.

♥ he didn’t understand. he never usually gets this way around people. but then again, he shouldn’t be surprised since he knew you were an exception from the beginning

♥ “hi, mikey.” you hummed, head propped gently on your arm while you slipped your phone away, “why did you want to see me? is something wrong?”

♥ the slight concern he detected in your voice was enough for him to immediately blurt out, “oh, no! nothing like that! everything is great; i am great and i, erm, hope you are too.” he announced, somewhat glad that your only reaction was a blank stare as it meant he doesn’t feel inclined to explain himself 

♥ “so, uh, i was just wonder if you..” he started, clenching his jaw as he mentally reassured himself. the fact that he felt embarrassed about feeling embarrassed made things infinitely harder from him. he took a deep breath, and spilled

♥ “do you want to go out on a date with me sometime?” he basically screamed, squeezing his eyes shut tight and emptying his left pocket onto the table in front of you so that his special gift would accompany his proposal 

♥ he closed his eyes as if that was going to protect him from rejection, but before he was able to silently rebuke himself, he heard faint sobbing from where he dropped his present 

♥ upon opening his eyes, the shock from the sight before him was enough to give him whiplash

♥ in an unfortunate turn of events, he must’ve emptied the wrong pocket because sitting on the table in front of you was not a diamond ring, but rather a sherbet dip he bought to share with you if you said ‘yes’ to his proposal 

♥ and his suspicions were correct, you were the one crying 

♥ ....

♥ waIT WHY ARE YOU CRYING mikey panicked, frantically looking around for someone who might’ve hurt you, or perhaps someone he’d have to send to A&E

♥ “are you okay?”

♥ “yeah.” you whispered, your light chuckle enough to prevent mikey from worrying any more, “i’m just..” you stuttered, smiling fondly at the blonde, “i’m just really happy. i thought you’d never ask.” 

♥ it was impossible for mikey to conceal the sigh of relief he breathed as he slumped down next to you on the bench, “thank god. i thought someone had threatened you or something.”

♥ “threatened me? why would they do that?” you innocently cocked your head to the side, rubbing your eyes as you did so. 

♥ oh, yeah. mikey hadn’t been fully transparent with you about his.. current employment. as far as you knew, he was a full-time student at ‘toman academy’ and he had a part-time job babysitting (which was hardly a lie, in his opinion)

♥ so you didn’t really know about how he was the leader of the tokyo manji gang or any of that

♥ originally he thought it was fine to keep it a secret, but now that you were officially his partner it would be immoral to not let you know about his affiliation with the gang 

♥ so he decided to tell you over a sherbert <33

♥ “so, are we official?” he cooed, ripping the lollypops out of the bag and popping one in his mouth while offering you the other by tapping it against your lips lightly 

♥ “yep.” you smiled, taking the lolly into your mouth with a smile, glad that he didn’t bring up your little waterworks a few second ago 

♥ but in all honesty, he was preoccupied wondering what the most appropriate way to phrase ‘i am the leader of a gang of delinquents’ would be 

♥ poor little mikey brain working on overdrive 

♥ he decided to pull out the ring, since he still had to give that to you, so while you were entranced by the fat gem glistening under the light in mikey’s possession, he began, “so, babe, do you think being a gang leader is hot?”

DRAKEN

♥ he honestly didn’t have a clue how to ask you out

♥ in fact, he didn’t even know that he had a crush on you until mikey pointed out all of his weird behaviours around you 

♥ so his first instinct was to go to mikey for advice when thinking of ways to ask you out 

♥ but the only idea that mf was to get ‘will you go out with me, (y/n)?’ tattooed onto his ‘thick skull’ and ofc draken wasn’t about to do that

♥ although he did consider it for like.. a minute

♥ (he was like.. hmmmm... well, the tattoo guy does owe me a favour so... maybe i could get it for free?)

♥ (or permanent marker might work???)

♥ anyway, he eventually decided to ask you out the good ol’ fashion way!! by just telling you how he feels

♥ however, once he explained this plan to mikey, he was scoffed and said ‘good luck with that’ in the most condescending tone of voice

♥ draken’s initial instinct was to simply beat up mikey and go ask you out anyway, but this conflict ran deeper than just him and mikey bickering about trivial issues- his whole relationship was on the line! 

♥ so after hearing the leader out, he finally decided on the most appropriate way to confess — just like how all the dudes in the animes mikey and him and watched did it 

♥ by giving you flowers and chocolates <3

♥ and mikey even offered to come into the store with draken and help him choose the goods since mikey was a self-proclaimed ‘love-expert’

♥ draken obviously denied his offer but he came along anyway 

♥ “ooh, ken-chin! look at these ones, they’re on sale.” mikey gasped, happily grabbing a pack of heart-shaped chocolates off the shelf, ripping them open and stuffing his face, “and they are delicious too!”

♥ paying no attention to the fact that mikey had essentially already committed a crime since there was no way he intended to pay for those chocolates, draken mused while eyeing up the rest of the sweets, the bouquet of flowers he had already chosen tucked under his arm, “valentine’s day was a week ago, that’s probably why they are on sale.” 

♥ “draken?” 

♥ a familiar voice from the end of the aisle caused draken to avert his gaze from the chocolates displayed in front of him and instead search for the source of the voice, which happened to be you standing innocently with your basket in-hand

♥ “ah, (y/n),” draken tensed, immediately shoving the bouquet of flowers behind his back at hopefully out of your sight as he put on a forced smile to distract from them too, “what a nice surprise seeing you here.”

♥ “hm?” mikey chimed in, unable to vocalise his curiosity through the chocolates stuffed in his mouth, but that didn’t stop him from trying, “is that the (y/n) you were talking about? the one you were going to conf--” 

♥ “that’s enough outta you.” draken hissed through a fake smile, shoving mikey into the next aisle, which happened to be the snack aisle so, entertained, he decided to stay put

♥ “oh, is that your friend mikey?” you inquired, having only ever heard about mikey through rumours up until now. though none of them exactly matched the image you saw just there

♥ “yep, he’s pain sometimes, but he’s still cool.” draken muttered, awkwardly rolling on the balls of his feet as he waited for a deity to save him from this interaction —  not that he didn’t want to talk to you, it’s just that every second you spend with him, the less likely it becomes that his confession will go as planned

♥ and you only confirmed that with your follow-up question

♥ “i see you’ve got flowers, and you’re looking for chocolates. who’s the special someone?” you teased, poking draken’s cheek playfully (which is one of the many things he only finds comfort in when you do it)

♥ “oh, no one.” he hummed, his coy smile doing a number on your heart rate

♥ “how about you? who is that card for?” he inquired casually, gesturing to the classic pink ‘i have something to tell you... <3′ confession card that was only in-stock during valentine’s day season, that was sitting atop the groceries in your basket

♥ a cocky smirk tugged at his lips — as if to say ‘i won’ — while he watched you become increasingly flustered right in front of him. it was adorable

♥ but he thought it would stop there; stop with him winning the teasing battle, you getting all sheepish then leaving but that apparently wasn’t your plan

♥ instead, you lowered your head and outstretched your arms to give him the card (which was still in the wrapping plastic) 

♥ “red-handed. i bought these with you in mind, draken.” you said, voice barely above a whisper, “but if you don’t accept then that’s fine too, have a nic--”

♥ “who said i don’t accept?” draken grumbled, almost as if he was annoyed, as he took your card and examined the card thoroughly for a couple seconds

♥ then suddenly, he froze. the shock of the realisation leaving him stunned to the point where the only thing he could do was shift his eyes from the card on to you and utter in a terrified tone, “this isn’t, uh, this isn’t a confession, is it?”

♥ you shrugged, “i guess, it is.” 

♥ “damn it.” draken cursed, glaring at the snack aisle and hence mikey, for giving him this stupid idea

♥ “is there a problem?” 

♥ “no.” draken said through gritted teeth before pulling out the bouquet his had hidden behind his back, “but i was meant to confess first.”

♥ your jaw dropped, leaving draken concerned for a second until you instantly pulled him in for a tight hug; another thing he admired about you was that you gave hugs like you were in the mafia, strong enough to cut off his airflow

♥ “double confession!” you squealed, absolutely delighted that draken not only wanted to confess to you, but he had the same idea to come to the shop and buy stuff beforehand

♥ “i guess so.” draken chuckled, handing you the bouquet of flower as soon as you pulled away, “these are for you.” 

♥ you gasped, smiling at how he managed to remember your favourite kind of flower after a single off-handed comment you made ages ago, “thank you!” you hugged them to your chest, “have you already paid for them?”

♥ “no.” draken replied simply. “but they are still yours.”

♥ sometimes it slipped your mind that draken was part of a literal gang since.. he just seemed so normal and humble 

♥ but on some other occasions, it was painfully difficult to consider draken anything close to ‘normal’

♥ and one of those moments was when he was trying to convince security he was pregnant with a flower-baby, and when that evidently didn’t work, he just made a run for it with mikey, whose pants pockets were filled with sweets that trailed behind him where ever he ran

BAJI

♥ he didn’t even ponder about how he was supposed to confess to you for over a second

♥ the idea just came to him instantly and he went with it

♥ the only question he asked was ‘how can i show them how badass i am without bragging?’ and he immediately came up with an answer and rolled with it, no questions asked 

♥ and there was no planning or anything done beforehand either, he literally just texted you ‘where are you?’ at like 7PM and when you replied ‘the park’, he hopped on his bike and sped over 

♥ like he didn’t even ask which park.. he just guessed.. but he guessed correctly 

♥ your heart almost stopped as you watched a chunky motorcycle come speeding towards you at such a rate that all you could do was brace for impact and kiss goodbye to your relatively peaceful live

♥  however, at the very last second it swerved around you and came to a halt, allowing the rider to extend his free hand to you, “hop on.”

♥ the voice was all to familiar and you weren’t surprised at all to see baji with his signature ‘i could kill you’ grin plastered on his face 

♥ as your heart rate slowly began to return to normal, you cried, “what do you mean ‘hop on’? you almost ran me over!”

♥ he unclipped his helmet and tossed it to you, “safety first.”

♥ “did you even hear what i just said?” you grumbled, putting on the helmet anyway 

♥ “i think you said something about how excited you are to finally go out with me.” he mused, shuffling forwards slightly to give you more space to sit on behind him, like a true gentleman /s

♥ “no.” you replied simply. 

♥ though you initially had no intention of going anywhere with him, you still found yourself reaching your leg over his bike to take a seat behind him, “where are we going?”

♥ baji shrugged, chuckling slightly as he felt you gently wrap your arms around his hips, “don’t know, but hold on tight.” he warned, revving his engine and taking off without another word

♥ perhaps you were the fool for getting on a motorcycle with baji and letting him take you to an undisclosed location, but you trusted him enough to know that he wouldn’t try to drive you off a cliff or put you in danger.. or at least, that is what you hoped

♥ however, if it wasn’t a rival gang that kills you, baji’s driving definitely would

♥ he drives like a madman and left you with no other choice but to cling onto him for dear life, since if you didn’t bury yourself into his side, you’d probably fly off with all sharp turns he does around the other cars/bikes

♥ it was like being taped to the top of a vehicle in mario cart

♥ eyes squeezed shut, you yelled over the harsh blaring of the wind, “slow the fuck down! where are you even taking me?” 

♥ baji was having fun, but he was getting the feeling you weren’t..

♥ usually he doesn’t care about what other think but this was the first time he was taking you out, he didn’t want you to think of him as a maniac driver, or else you might not want to come with him ever again

♥ “if you open your eyes, you’ll see.” he uttered, slowing down slightly so the noises weren’t as harsh 

♥ taking his word for it, you hesitantly pried open one of your eyes and turned your neck so your face was no longer pressed against his shoulder

♥ and honestly, you were glad you did. passed the edge of the road, you had the perfect view of the beach below, the sea gently glistening under the orange sunset 

♥ now that your nose was free from only breathing in baji’s sickeningly strong, wild spice body spray, you finally able to enjoy fresh ocean air 

♥ “the beach.” you mused, smiling down at the completely deserted sandy shore, which looked so beautifully peaceful in contrast to how busy it was when you usually come 

♥ “no shit.” baji chuckled, his eyes remaining glued to road, despite how much he wanted to see your reaction

♥ you let out a defeated sighed, leaning against his back, “but it’s closed.”

♥ baji nodded, “yep, that means we’ve got the whole place to ourselves!”

♥ before you could question what baji meant by that, he steered off the edge of the road and down the steep hillside which led to the beach, though it definitely was not meant to be drove on as there were several warning sign at the side of the road, warning drivers about the hill

♥ “baji, what the fuck?!” you screamed over baji’s amused laughter, similar to the way you’d laugh if you were playing GTA, rather than playing with actual human lives

♥ “isn’t this fun?” he yelled back, enjoying how the wind felt against his skin as he maneuvered his bike down the steep hill 

♥ honestly, you weren’t sure whether you enjoyed it or not, but as soon as the bike came to a smooth landing upon the soft sand of the beach, you found yourself silently wanting to do that again

♥ “well, how was that?” baji asked, immediately hopping off the bike on his own only so he could offer you a hand

♥ accepting his hand, you stepped off the cycle only to notice that your legs were shaking, yet you oddly liked it, “that was.. okay.” you murmured, not wanting to feed his ego but also unable to lie to him.

♥ “great.” he uttered, leaning forward to carefully unclip your helmet for you and sling it over the handle of his bike

♥ “so,” he started, looking around the beach for any stray cops or surveyors, “what do you wanna do?” 

♥ he felt a light tug on his jacket sleeve, causing him to look down and meet your pleading gaze, “do you think we could go out again? some other time, maybe?”

♥ all baji did was laugh, resulting in you become sheepish for a moment, until he wrapped his arms around you picked you up for a hug, “obviously!”

♥ you smiled, your cheeks heating up slightly, “nice!”

♥ “anyway,” he started, placing you back down and dashing off towards the sea, “loser owes me lunch!”

♥ ignoring how he gets lunch either way, you immediately sprinted off behind him, watching as he dramatically fell over a large shell and face-planted into the the sand

♥ being the kind friend you are, you ignored him and continued running towards the water, only for him to grab your ankle and trip you up too

♥ “ha!” that is how he shows affection <3

[makeste]

save no matter what.

so this is going to ultimately be a post about Deku. however, if you’ll be so kind as to indulge me, I would like to start things off by making a point about Bakugou. specifically, I’d like to point out that back in the day before this kid got Character Development no Jutsu’d, people weren’t always so inclined to view his attitude towards winning in the best light. which is a nice way of saying that he came off as unhealthily obsessed, not to mention more than a little unhinged.

sorry for the image spam btw, I just think they’re funny. he’s so demented lmao. KILL DIE CRUSH.

anyway so we’re gonna do the rest of this below a cut before it gets long. but I promise it really is a Deku post lol. don’t let the pre-readmore stuff fool you. I PROMISE THERE IS A POINT, AND WE WILL GET TO IT.

anyway! so yeah, we really didn’t have the best impression of Bakugou’s whole winning fixation at the beginning there. and I mean, it’s not like we had the best impression of Bakugou himself at the start of things either. we were already primed from the very first chapter to see this kid as an adversary to Izuku. the story goes out of its way to paint him in pretty much the worst light possible. which is why what happens next is so interesting.

because one might see all this and think, “holy heck, this kid is off the shits, somebody needs to set him straight pronto and get it into his head that winning isn’t everything.” because that’s almost the natural conclusion to draw. “look at this kid, he doesn’t care about helping other people at all, all he cares about is winning, someone needs to come along and show him that he’s got it backwards.”

except that’s not what happens, is it? because this is where, much to my delight, Horikoshi came along and started subverting expectations. because not only is Katsuki not rebuked for being so obsessed with winning -- it’s pretty much the exact opposite.

the one and only time Deku ever straight up hands Katsuki’s ass to him is when he says he doesn’t want to win. Deku is IMMEDIATELY all, “THE FUCK KIND OF BULLSHIT DID I JUST HEAR OUT OF YOUR TRASH MOUTH,” and that’s when he sets him straight.

the important people in Katsuki’s life never tell him, “hey you need to cool it with the whole winning thing.” All Might and Aizawa never scold him for it, or tell him that he shouldn’t try with everything he has to win, or that wanting to win is a bad thing. on the contrary, they both commend him for it. and ultimately, he’s told by All Might that this desire is actually one of the two fundamental qualities that every great hero needs.

he completely turns the whole thing on its head. not only is it not a bad thing, it’s actually crucial. essential. because what the desire to win really is, at its core, is tenacity. it’s the fiercest kind of determination. it’s not something he should be ashamed of; it’s something that sets him apart, something that makes him worthy. he is someone who refuses to back down no matter what. refuses to give up, no matter what. and this quality, which is initially misunderstood by some to the point where even the villains mistakenly take him for one of their own in the making, is eventually validated to the fullest degree by the person that Katsuki looks up to the most. his desire to win goes from being this awkward “son wtf are you doing” thing to being one of the core philosophies of the series. and ever since then, we pretty much don’t question it.

so why do I bring this up now? well, the answer to that can basically be summed up in one word.

“parallels.”

so here’s the thing. there’s been a lot of talk lately about Deku’s ridiculous, reckless, and absurdly self-destructive desire to save others while having little to no regard for himself. currently he’s lying in a hospital bed, having broken approximately 218 out of the 206 bones in his little hero body (yes, somewhere along the way he found an additional dozen bones to break). it is worrying. it is Concerning. and it’s raised a lot of questions, such as “???” and “wtf is this idiot doing.”

and a lot of people have been pretty critical of him! this is, of course, an ongoing thing with this child, and people have been giving him grief over it going as far back as chapter 6.

while others have been bothered by it going even further back than that.

and I’ve seen these sentiments being echoed pretty frequently in the fandom as well. and there are basically two talking points that I want to address here. the first is the idea that Deku’s aggressive brand of selflessness stems from an inherent lack of self-worth. in other words, because he prioritizes other people’s safety and well-being above his own, and is willing to go to such drastic lengths to save them, there’s this feeling that he doesn’t value himself enough, that he must not care about himself.

but I don’t think that’s quite it. let’s go back to those parallels first, though. let’s take another look at Kacchan.

what I mainly want to call attention to is the intensity here. again, it’s something that at first strikes most readers as being absurdly over the top. the truth is, I think a lot of people simply can’t relate to it. Katsuki cares about winning with a ferocity and a fervor that most people, for better or worse, simply don’t have. I certainly don’t, lol.

but he does. to him it’s not a shallow, superficial thing at all. it’s important to him, perhaps the most important thing. I think we often talk about it in terms of it being a desire, but imo a more accurate way to define it is not as a want, but as a need. in other words, it’s the opposite of the question “what is it this character wants” (i.e. “what is it they can’t live without”)? instead, it’s a question of “what is it they don’t want” (i.e. “what is it they can’t live with”)?

and in Katsuki’s case, the thing he can’t live with is feeling like he hasn’t tried his absolute best. he needs to give his all in everything he does. he wants to win, but winning just on its own is not enough.

it has to be earned. he has to prove to himself and to everyone else that he deserves it. anything less than that is unacceptable. anything less than that, and he can’t be at ease. he can’t be settled. he can’t rest. and so he puts everything he has into winning, even if it means going to extremes. because it’s that important to him.

it’s something that’s at times alarming and even disturbing for others to witness. but nonetheless, it’s a part of who he is, and at the end of the day his teachers accept that, and the story acknowledges that it’s his greatest strength.

so now, to finally bring this back around to Deku, this is what I keep seeing in his character as well. only in his case, the thing he can’t live with is knowing that he didn’t do everything he possibly could to save someone. or to put it another way, Deku, at his core, is someone who cannot rest until he knows that everyone is safe. simple as that. it’s not just a desire to protect people; it’s a need. he needs to know that everyone is safe and protected. otherwise he can’t be at ease. it’s no different from how normal, everyday people aren’t able to feel at ease unless they know that they are safe and that their loved ones are safe. it’s just that in Deku’s case, this same fundamental need extends to everyone, not just himself and his friends and family. everyone. he can’t live with himself knowing that someone was in trouble, and he had the ability to do something to help, but didn’t. and so, if you literally can’t live with not doing something, you basically have no choice but to do it.

and this is what in my opinion defines Deku’s character. Kacchan, in trying to understand it, noted that Deku doesn’t seem to take himself into account. but I think OFA Prime summed it up a little more accurately. “he rages for the sake of others. for them, he does his best until he can do no more. this young man is possessed by a drive to save others that eclipses all common understanding.”

so yeah. it’s not that he doesn’t care about himself at all, it’s that he cares about others even more. he has that same intensity and ferocity towards saving people that Katsuki has towards winning. and just as it was difficult at first for fans to understand Katsuki’s feelings, it’s hard to fathom the sheer depth of that “save everyone” feeling that compels Deku to break his own body in that pursuit. it’s scary, not to mention extremely destructive and dangerous. and so really, it was almost inevitable that there would be some backlash.

but just like Katsuki’s desire to win was ultimately validated in the end, I think Deku’s desire to save others will be as well. in fact it already is being validated, for starters by the other denizens of OFA, led by Lil Bro as mentioned above. let’s go back for a moment to that same scene.

here we get a huge hint that “Deku gets taken down a notch and chewed out and scolded for his recklessness” is not, in fact, the direction that the story is going in. because in general, when the main villain starts mocking the hero and saying that they’ve done something wrong, that’s a very good sign that said hero is actually on the exact right track. like, no offense, but as far as character critiques go, AFO is probably the least qualified person in the entire manga to start offering those up lol. so yeah. if AFO is denouncing Deku for something, and OFA Prime is praising him for that exact same thing, I think it’s safe to say that means he is in fact doing something very, very right.

“okay but makeste, he nearly got himself killed and broke all of his arms AND legs and is now lying in a fucking coma,” you say, gesturing emphatically to the last page of chapter 298. “so I mean, that’s all well and good that Wonder Boy has the best of intentions and all that, but at the end of the day he’s only one kid. he literally can’t save everyone, and if he pulls one or two more stunts like this, he’s going to get himself killed.”

and okay, but this here is the other talking point that I wanted to address. because it’s true, Deku does need to learn a specific lesson here. but that lesson is NOT that he can’t save everyone. this is a superhero story, guys -- “you can’t save everyone” is never going to be the underlying message, ever. it’s the OPPOSITE of the message. Deku is the hero because he tries to save everyone. because he doesn’t give up on saving people no matter what. that is literally the core of the story. it has been since the very first chapter.

so then what is it that Deku actually needs to learn here? well, once again, it all comes back to those parallels.

btw, I really just love how he’s carrying Katsuki there lol. he’s just so done with him.

but anyway. so, the final exam arc. Katsuki initially wants to win at all costs -- but there’s a hitch. because even though he wants to win, he refuses to do so while working with Deku. enter Deku’s left hook, and one impromptu Rival Encouragement Speech later, our boy has thankfully come to his senses.

but here’s the point -- the lesson here wasn’t “you can’t always win.” rather, the lesson that Katsuki needed to learn was that you can’t always win alone.

yeah. so now you can see what I’m getting at here.

“...on your own.”

that’s the key. this is the one and only thing that Deku actually needs to get into his head. wanting to save everyone is fine! his will to save others has never been a weakness -- it’s been the most admirable thing about him from day one. it’s what makes him strong. it’s why All Might chose him. it’s why OFA has chosen him. it’s what sets him apart, and I firmly believe it’s what will ultimately help him save the day and defeat AFO as well. because what other character would look at Shigaraki Tomura, the person who just impaled his friend and destroyed an entire city, and instinctively reach out a hand to try and save him? and if you don’t think that’s going to wind up being key to the final battle, you and I have very different ideas about this series’ endgame.

Deku’s determination to save everyone isn’t arrogance or futility. it is and always has been his greatest strength. but what he’s missing now, what he needs to learn, is simply to trust. y’all might have seen that theory about the Fourth’s quirk, and why All Might was so hesitant to tell Deku about it. basically, the theory (which is based on an attempted translation of the crossed-out parts of All Might’s OFA notebook) goes that the Spidey Sense was so overwhelming that the Fourth -- whose cause of death was one of the things crossed out -- eventually couldn’t bear it, and went to live alone in the middle of the woods somewhere. and possibly wound up killing himself?? all of which is just speculation right now of course. but it makes sense. and it would certainly explain why All Might, being all too aware of Deku’s self-destructive tendencies, would keep that from him.

but if this is the case, that means it’s clear that the Fourth’s solution didn’t work. “give up and accept that you can’t save everyone” clearly is NOT the answer to be had here.

the answer is trust. trust that his fellow heroes have his back. trust that they’ll be able to help him reach the people he’s not able to reach on his own. trust that they can work together to save everyone. that he doesn’t have to rest the entire world on his shoulders alone.

it’s the one lesson that All Might, his predecessor and his teacher, never learned himself until it was too late. but of course, All Might never had a prickly and determined rival who was ready to step in and deal out some tough love if need be. a rival who, perhaps, just might soon get a chance to repay an old favor.

“I don’t wanna hear you say you can’t save someone.”

I’m just saying. just as Deku has been watching Katsuki all this time, and admiring his determination to win, and emulating it himself, so has Katsuki recently begun to emulate Deku’s determination to save others. we’ve seen it not just in his recent act of self-sacrifice, but even in little things like his habits and tricks of speech. just like Katsuki is Deku’s image of victory, Deku is becoming Katsuki’s image of saving others.

and so I’ll bet you anything that if Deku ever starts to doubt himself, or starts feeling like his dream and desires are futile, Kacchan will be there to set him straight with a good old fashioned Rival Encouragement Speech of his own. possibly with his own left hook to match, though his left shoulder is currently out of sorts atm so he might need to modify that approach a little bit. but the point is, he’ll be there. and he will not allow Deku to give up on himself. he will be there to remind him that he doesn’t have to face this alone.

so yeah! finally managed to wrap up my giant Deku meta which I’ve been working on for ages and rewritten like fifteen times lmao. just in time for this to be relevant for all of a day, probably, depending on what happens once chapter 279 drops lol. but yeah. tl;dr, local boy tries to do too much, but his heart is in the right place, and hopefully all he really needs is a good pep talk from his tsundere bff to set him to rights again. r.i.p. to the Fourth, but he’s different.

[jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav]

helloooooo!! can i request some headcanons for the demon brothers with a MC that is Non Binary but is afab and insecure about being afab and doesnt feel like they are Non Binary. platonic or romantic either one is fine. thank you. also Jaehee is a Queen period.

I haven’t had Mystic Messenger installed on my phone for like a year and this blog is mostly, if not exclusively Obey Me rn, but I refuse to change my url because it remains true. Jaehee is the best and deserves the world <3

Also don’t mind me casually throwing in some Devildom/Celestial Realm gender headcanons as an intro~

Warnings: Mentions of gender dysphoria, internalized transphobia, insecurity gang rise up. I’ll try and keep it more general since this is meant to be a comfort/fluff piece.

The Brothers With an Insecure (AFAB) Nonbinary MC

As a whole, the Devildom doesn’t really do traditional gender. The variety in demons’ and fallen angels’ appearances makes for such a diversity of body types that markers of femininity and masculinity are easier to disregard. It’s commonplace to provide one’s pronouns along with their name when meeting someone new, and any changes in a demon’s presentation are noted with little more fanfare than a new haircut.

Even angels don’t really get preoccupied with gender: in fact, as MC discovered one day while talking with Luke and Simeon, most barely grasp the concept of what a gender is. Simeon had mentioned that this occasionally resulted in him forgetting the genders of his characters, resulting in TSL being extremely popular among transgender and nonbinary fandom communities.

But MC is not from the Devildom, nor are they from the Celestial Realm. They’re from the human world, with its reductive views on bodies, presentation, and identity. A year in the Devildom can’t erase a lifetime of cissexism.

Some days, it wears on them more than others.

Lucifer

Lucifer is always aware when MC’s self image starts wavering

As someone who has fought tooth and nail to remain true to himself, he understands the struggle of facing resistance to this

But the idea of it coming from within is somewhat foreign to him

Nonetheless, he’ll do anything within his power to make MC feel better

Will calmly, but firmly assert that MC is the only one who can determine their identity

It’s not about how they were born or raised, but who they know themself to be deep down

If it’s their gender dysphoria making them feel invalid, he’ll try and minimize it however he can

Need a different RAD uniform? No problem. Worried about being perceived a certain way? Anyone who stares at MC for too long or even dares to make a comment about their presentation is getting the Lucifer Death Glare.

Physical/body dysphoria? The Devildom has tons of temporary and permanent solutions for that, they can try whatever they’d like

It is vital for the success of the exchange program that all the students feel comfortable and well-accommodated

Also MC is very dear to him and he hates to see them suffering

Mammon

As soon as he notices MC is upset, he is READY TO FITE

Who’s been messing with them?!

What? They don’t feel like they’re really nonbinary? Are they questioning again, or—

Oh. Oh…

Well that’s stupid! What do you mean you don’t “look nonbinary”?! What’s there to look like? Humans are so weird about this stuff, look: you want to know what someone’s deal is, you ask! And their answer? That’s it! End of story, there ya go!

It’s not so simple in the human world, MC tries to explain

Mammon huffs and mumbles something about how it should be, but he can see this avenue isn’t making MC feel better

It seems whatever junk ideas the human world has about gender really gets into people’s heads…

Well, whenever Mammon wants to take his mind off of something, he opts for something exciting! Hitting the casino, making new plans that’ll definitely work this time, maybe even try and pull a prank on one of his brothers…?

But if MC just wants to cuddle and watch some mindless TV or play video games he doesn’t mind doing that either…

Leviathan

Levi knows, without fault, every single TSL characters’ pronouns and identities, if and how they change through the series, and between different media adaptations

He can (and will) list all the nonbinary characters like a gender Pokemon Rap, with special attention on those who match MC’s presentation and/or AGAB

(Not that AGAB is essential or even always available information, but dysphoria is not a rational creature, and Levi is very familiar with irrational emotions)

Would MC say that any of these characters aren’t really nonbinary because of how they look or how they started out? Then why are they any different?

But if something about their appearance is really bothering them, he might have a solution

Cosplay

Well, sort of

Crossplayers use all sorts of techniques to masculinize or feminize their appearance when necessary, and Levi’s pretty familiar with most of them

So if MC wants to try some out to see if it makes them feel more comfortable, he wouldn’t mind showing them! You know… if they’re… interested…

Also double-checks to make sure it’s okay that he calls them his “Henry” and assures them that it’s about the character’s role and personality, and not some sort of gender-based comparison

Unless... they like the comparison? andwouldliketocosplayasHenrytohisLordofShadows??

Satan

Who said this to you, MC.

Names. Now.

Boy gets frothing mad when MC explains it’s a societal and cultural problem, not an individual one, that fuels their insecurity.

If they don’t want to hear an hour long rant about the rich history of human gender expression and identity, they need to cut him off fast

If he could maim the concept of transphobia, he would

But alas, this is not a problem that can be solved (entirely) with violence

So he has to find other ways to show his support

Ask him about any notable trans, nonbinary, or otherwise gender nonconforming figures from human or demon history. He’ll happily tell MC all about them.

But, at the end of the day? In his opinion, there’s one person that shines above the rest

Someone who braved the longest odds, who persisted against the fiercest enemies and even turned them into their closest friends

Who saw others at their worst and sought to bring out the best in them…

*stage whispers* He’s talking about you

If there’s anyone who’s going to believe in the right to self determination and the irrelevance of your origins to your present identity, it’s Satan

And if anyone ever does try to tell MC that their doubts about themself are true?

Just give him their name and don’t ask questions

Asmodeus

So they’re worried about being too feminine? Is there such a thing?

If that’s the case, they can be “too feminine” together

Asmo’s gender nonconformity has earned him praise all throughout his life, so the idea of being ashamed of such a thing is alien to him

But he does know what it’s like to have an audience who expects a specific image from you

And the fear of disappointing them

But gender isn’t a performance

Well, it is, sometimes, poor choice of words: but it’s a performance for you

Asmo presents the way he does because it’s what makes him happy, same with the rest of the brothers

MC shouldn’t be any different

If they’re looking for a more masculine wardrobe or just want a change of pace, he’ll happily help them find clothes that make them feel more comfortable, but his main concern is that they know they’re free to wear what they’d like, act how they’d like, and it doesn’t change who they are

Whatever image they want to make of themself, he can get them there, but only if it’s because they want it, not because it’s what they think they’re supposed to be like, okay?

Beelzebub

When MC first confesses to Beel that they feel like they’re not really nonbinary because of their body, he kinda looks around and gestures as if to say “really? Down here?”

Has MC ever noticed that RAD doesn’t have gendered sports teams?

Yeah, if they separated people by something as irrelevant as gender or Diavolo forbid, sex, people would get seriously injured or worse

There are so many ways to be a man or a woman or a nonbinary person, and they’re not always what you’d expect

Some of Beel’s best teammates and scariest opponents look and act nothing like you’d expect them to

If they’re feeling disconnected from their body, Beel is totally down to work out with them, keep them grounded in all the good their body does for them and that they can do for it

And yes, also the good food their body lets them experience

He also definitely reaches out and gives their hand a lil squeeze if he ever notices them feeling down while they’re out together

He cares for them a lot and just wants them to be happy at the end of the day

Belphegor

Oh yeah, that’s one of the stupidest things about the human world

Belphie remembers being mistaken for a woman a lot when he used to visit the human world, and how confused he was when people got into such a tizzy over his gender

Why waste all that energy on something that doesn’t matter? If you must know, just ask the person and be done with it

It doesn’t matter what they look like

MC is MC

If they say they’re nonbinary, that’s good enough for him

If they don’t want to be touched, especially in certain places tiddy pillow naps, he might get pouty, but he’s all bark and no bite, he’ll respect their wishes

His approach to making MC feel better is more geared towards normalizing their identity

If he accepts it as a fact, then maybe they’ll catch on that people will respect them if they know what’s good for them?

Also, if they hear him mumbling about correct pronouns and punching transphobes in his sleep… No they didn’t. He’s not dreaming about them, he swears...

[the-infamous-coat-of-baron-zemo]

Missed Opportunities | Helmut Zemo x Reader

Here's a little something I cooked up. Not sure what I want to do with it, but it was bugging me to be written. For better or worse.

This is a little Helmut Zemo/Female Reader moment. It has Sam and Bucky too. It's not fully developed, but hopefully you all can enjoy it for what it is.

OOOOO

You were in Germany when you got the call from Sam. He needed help locating the Flag-Smashers, and was hoping you could offer some assistance.

He just happened to call at the perfect time, because as it turns out, the person you went to visit was no longer around. So, since you had essentially made a trip across the ocean for nothing; you figured, why not? Might as well make something of your travels abroad and not make it a total loss.

Sam gave instructions to meet him at a residence in Riga, Latvia. He mentioned very little other than that. Technically though, that wasn't entirely his fault. You're pretty sure he intended to provide more information, but Bucky was shouting, "Hellos.", "You've been missed!", and her personal favorite, an exasperated, "Please save me from my tormentor."

After Bucky's outburst, Sam had seemed to have forgotten about you on the phone; so you were just listening to constant bickering in the background. All you could do was shake your head and laugh at this point. Truly, Earth's greatest defenders were simply children at times.

It was good to hear their laughs. It had been too long and the world was still recovering.

We all were.

Bucky, Sam, and you all disappeared when Thanos snapped his fingers, wiping out half the universe. When you all returned, there was love and there was loss all around, but it bonded the three of you in a friendship deeper than any of you could imagine.

Okay, perhaps, that's a slight exaggeration. You became extremely good friends with both James and Sam; however, the two of them are a different story altogether. They won't admit to their friendship, but you know they'll both come around one day. They're just being stubborn idiots. God, she missed those two guys. It's been months since she had laid eyes either one of them.

So, here you are, standing right out front the door Sam gave instructions to meet at.

You fiddled with the arm of the backpack strapped across your chest. You didn't think you'd be this nervous, but a combination of excitement and adrenaline had caused you to be a bit jumpy. You tried to shrug it off as you raised your hand to knock on the door.

Not even 10 seconds after you knocked on the door you heard the shuffle of footsteps, accompanied with the ever present response of, "I got it."

Only the footsteps halted abruptly and muffled discussions were faintly heard through the door. You couldn't make out what was being said, only that no further movement had been made to answer the door.

I swear to God, if they are simply having an argument about who gets to open the door, I am going to murder them both on the spot.

You were about to knock on the door again a bit more insistently, but you never got the chance as the door abruptly swung open to reveal Bucky.

As you stared back at one another, you couldn't help but noticed his tense appearance, which is not all that unusual for him, but it was a more strained posture. You assumed it had something to do with whatever was being talked about just moments prior to answering the door.

It couldn't have been too serious because seconds later he dropped all pretense and gave you a heartfelt smile before sweeping you up in his arms for a hug.

He all but dragged you inside, it only caused you to chuckle at his enthusiasm. Yeah, you had missed him a lot.

The hug continued to linger on, and you could hear the door behind you close. You were about to motion to Bucky to release you from his hold when you heard Sam pipe in highly amused, "Buck, give her some room to breath."

You could feel the glare James was giving Sam, but he did let you go eventually.

Upon the release from your hug, the sleeves of your blue hoodie had drifted past your hands; you pushed them up a bit where you could grab James's hand and squeeze it in silent thanks.

After letting go of Bucky, you turned around to face Sam, shaking your head and grinning at him with delight, "Never a dull moment around here is there?"

"Never," Sam replied. "It's my turn, now," holding his arms out, he smiled pulling you into a softer embrace, but no less enthusiastic.

You huffed out a laugh and hugged him back with equal fervor.

A few moments had passed, and you reluctantly untangled yourself from Sam. More pleasantries had been exchanged and small talk had filled up the space as you walked fully into open living space.

You did a turn about the room as you headed towards the kitchen area with the guys trailing behind you. You had grabbed the strap of your backpack and had lifted it over your head.

You were about to place your stuff on the kitchen island when you heard soft footfalls make their way from the outer hallway towards you.

The unexpected noise caused you to hesitate; you turned your head towards Sam and James with a puzzled expression on your face. You had opened your mouth with the intention to ask them who else was in the safe house with you, when you saw him.

The backpack you were holding had fallen out of your hands and onto the floor with a thud, but you couldn't tear your eyes off the man standing across the room from you now. Your face had gone completely slack jaw and eyes had widen in shock leaving you speechless.

You would normally have said something quippy in this moment, but your brain had stopped functioning.

The silence was finally broken from Sam's response to the situation.

"Okay, I know what this looks like. We can explain him," Sam cautiously said. "Actually, Bucky should be the one to share this story, since it was his idea."

You could hear the words Sam was saying, but they never really registered. You assumed he thought you were shocked because the man who stood in front of you once tore your friends a part. Because he was supposed to be in a prison in Germany. Any other number of reasons could potentially be listed. What Sam didn't realize, was that the man standing before you was the last person you saw before you disintegrated before his eyes, and this was the first time since that chaos you had seen him again.

Other than Sam's calm reply, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Perhaps it was because the same look of shock and awe was reflected on Zemo's face.

You tried to form a response, something, anything to say.

Neither Sam or Bucky knew you used to visit Zemo after he was imprisoned. Whenever you travelled to Germany, you would tell them you had a contact that only agreed to provide information face to face. They never put two and two together, but they also trusted you implicitly; so they had no reason to ever question your motives or who exactly you were going to see. You actually saw Zemo a fair amount of time. More often than not, it was always to learn about the inner workings of Hydra. While they may be diminished in capacity; they still had not been completely eradicated. And you were determined to locate and destroy every remaining Hydra base, and dismantle them once and for all. They took your parents from you, and you were going to make sure they couldn't hurt anyone ever again. So, Zemo had been the obvious choice to help gain as much information as possible in your quest.

So, over the course of 2 years, you had made several trips to see him. You could almost say you were on friendly terms, but mostly, you believed his kindness and willingness to provide information was a benefit to him. To interact with someone on the outside to remind him he's not completely alone in the world.

The last time you saw each other was a day like any other you would come to visit. You'd lean outside his glass cell and just talk. The prison only allotted an hour's visit. So you always had to make your time worth while.

This particular day was colder than usual for the time of year. And being left outside the prison hallway where Zemo's cell was located only caused the draft to further lower the temperature with the concrete walls. You had involuntarily shivered as a cold draft had blasted in from one of hallways. Zemo had taken notice and unzipped his hoodie, passing it off to the guard to hand over to you. In that moment, the realization came that things were no longer black and white between the two of you. When you asked him why, he simply shrugged and said it's what any gentleman should do. His expression had softened though and was no longer outwardly indifferent. You had put on the blue garment and zipped it up; tugging at the sleeves as the hoodie was much larger on your frame than his.

There was only about 30 minutes left of your visit when alarm bells started going off. Zemo had pushed himself against the glass to look down the closest hallway to try and see what was going on. You had tried to remain calm, but when the guard standing nearby had disappeared right in front of you both, you knew something was dreadfully wrong.

With visible panic on your face, you had whispered out the word Thanos to Zemo. You'll never forget what happened next or the expression on his face. There was a hitch in your lungs and a strong tugging sensation drifting through your chest. You stumbled into the glass and fell to your knees in front of Zemo. You had slumped onto your side trying to concentrate on what was happening to you. You peered up at Zemo as he had slid himself down the glass to your level gazing at you in concern. You could hear him shouting for help, but there was no one around. You placed your hand on the glass to get his attention, and only then did you realize, you had tears in your eyes.

He brought his hand up on the other side of the glass and placed it against where yours was. Funny how an instance can change everything between two people. You saw his eyes widen and that's when you noticed the right side of your body started to turn to dust. All you had time to say was, "I'm sorry," before you completely disintegrated before him, leaving him, no doubt, alone once again.

You would have laughed at the expression on his face now if you knew it hadn't been the first time he's seen you since....what happened. But there was nothing really funny about the situation.

You weren't quite sure what to do, but your feet made the decision for you as you slowly made your way to stand directly in front of Zemo.

It's the first time you've stood together without any glass between you both. He's a bit taller than you, but not by miles; you're chin roughly comes up to his shoulder.

You see him swallow as if he's also thinking of something to say, but instead you see him raise his hand up and start to reach out to touch you, but stops before actually doing it. Internally, you make your choice for him and reach up with your hand and grab the one he's left hanging in the air. It's just a light touch, almost as if you're both worried the other might not be real.

Zemo glanced down at you holding onto his hand and back at you briefly. He squeezed your hand gently and then you heard him release a harsh breath before gripping your hand tighter and yanking you into his arms.

You barely had time to think about what was happening before you were enveloped into the most emotional hug you've ever felt.

The reaction was unexpected, but then so were the circumstances you were in, so nothing should really surprise you, but you were. Your arms were slightly hovering over his back, not entirely sure at that moment what you wanted to do, as you were still in shock. But, after a brief pause you brought your arms firmly around his body and hugged Zemo back with just as much care and buried your face in the crook of his shoulder. You heard him mumbling words into the side of your head, but couldn't understand what he was really saying.

Time could have been standing still for the infinite period we were latched onto one another. It wasn't until the clearing of Bucky's throat that jarred us out of the moment. The noise wasn't loud, but the room had been so silent until then; it sounded like a freight train.

Realization must have hit us both at the same time that we weren't alone in the room, and we jumped apart as if lightning had struck us both.

At this point, you were looking at anything in room, but Zemo. You started playing with the ends of your sleeves in nervousness when Sam spoke up in a very slow and deliberate manner, "Would you care to explain to us, what is going on?"

"I thought you were going to have Bucky explain to me, why Zemo's not in prison!" you say back, not ready at all to try and explain things. You still needed to wrap your own head around it, before attempting to share your brief history with Zemo.

"Oh, no doll. This can wait," James answered. You could tell he was not happy, but maybe more confused than anything by how he responded.

Both were assessing Zemo to try and figure out if this is some sort of game to him. Bucky had reached out to grab your arm and pulled you gently away from the criminal mastermind and closer to them to instinctually protect you from him.

You outwardly sighed, knowing there was a long conversation about to happen.

Zemo took a step forward and James took a step back bringing you with him. Sam seemed perturbed over the entire situation, but Zemo spoke up first.

"Is that, what I think it is?" he said. Zemo cocked his head to the side and eyed you with amusement.

You silently shook off the hold Bucky has on you and raise an eyebrow at him to not try that again. You swiveled back to Zemo, placing your hands on your hips. Confusion was written clearly on your face as you answered him back, "Could you be a little less vague?" A small smile graced your face in reply.

Zemo pointed at your midsection and a smug expression appeared on his face.

"I must say, you look quite fetching in my clothes."

You were physically startled by his comment. You had forgotten you were wearing his hoodie. It's why you went to Germany. To return it to him, but when you found out he was no longer there, you realized you were going to have to either keep it permanently or track him down. Sam's call came in before you could make that decision. Fate really is something else.

Your hands grabbed the fabric of the hoodie as you closed your eyes and ducked your head. You could feel the embarrassment threatening to turn your whole face red.

You started to shuffled away knowing an immediate outburst was coming from both of her friends. What Zemo just said, implied so many different things. So, of course Sam and Bucky would start shouting without having any context to the situation of how you acquired a piece of his clothing.

If the floor could have opened up at that moment, you would have appreciated it.

Sam and Bucky were both visibly upset and clearly about to start a fight with Zemo, but thankfully Sam, being the more even tempered of the group, stopped Bucky from doing anything. He had shrugged off Sam and stared at you with hurt on his face.

You exhaled shakily as things started to calm down. You dared to catch a glimpse of Zemo, and of course, out of everyone here, he seemed to thoroughly enjoy causing the chaos he wrought with his sly comment.

If looks could kill, he would have been flayed alive.

"Enough," you said to everyone. It was time to clear the air. "Let's all just take a seat."

You had gotten exasperated by the entire situation and turned to Bucky and Sam, "Do you automatically have to jump to conclusions? Do you not think there is a perfectly logical explanation, somewhere?" You had slapped your hands down by your sides and turned to Zemo. He looked as if he were about to say something, but you cut him off pointing a finger at him.

"And you. Big trouble. Don't even get me started."

As you stared at Zemo; he at least had the decency to appear somewhat contrite at your scolding. You could still tell he was mildly amused about the whole situation.

You saw Sam had taken a seat and started to wave you over to where he and Bucky were.

"Start talking," he said.

"I'm not sure where to start," you answered, pacing back and forth.

"How about the beginning?" Bucky parroted out arms crossed in front of him, he was clearly still a bit defensive.

"The beginning. Right. Sure. I can do that," you stopped to think about how to start, but everything just seemed to be as if you were actually hiding something from them, when you weren't. It just never came up, and The Blip was emotional for everyone.

Truth be told, you would like to avoid this conversation at all costs. For many reasons, some you're not ready to deal with.

Zemo had spoke up while you were deciding how to broach the subject at hand.

"If I may," he spoke.

The three of us had answered him simultaneously, "No!"

Yeah, it was going to be a long day.

OOOOO