#can transition into the group thread maybe?

[nkjemisin]

I’ll miss you Twitter

Wow. OK, at this point my bet’s on the lettuce.

It’s pretty clear now that Twitter is not long for this world. Testament to staff that the site has held up this long with so many critical personnel gone and functions failing... but everything that has a beginning has an end. I wish All The Twitter Staff who’ve jumped ship a very Quick Job Hunt, and I especially hope all the H1B visa holders who are stuck at Twitter find some kind of escape raft before the ship goes down completely. (Remember that I used to be a career counselor to students and alumni in STEM fields, back in my old day job. I know some of those people. Worried for them.)

Gotta admit, I am enjoying the schadenfreude of watching Elon show his entire ass to the world... but overall Twitter’s demise is bad news. With so much of our (US) mainstream media now taken over by right-wing ideologues, getting accurate information and takes from marginalized groups on societal events is going to get a lot harder. Twitter’s failure is also going to make life harder for every artist you know. I’ll probably be okay at this point in my career, though I guess we’ll just have to wait and see on that. (I’m doing good, y’all, but I think the only authors who don’t need to do any self-marketing are maybe J. K. Rowling, Neil Gaiman, and Stephen King. For the rest of us, the hustle is eternal.) But artists who aren’t as established, academics, and activists are just some of the groups who are going to struggle without that hellsite. Please be sure to seek out your favorite authors, musicians, mutual aid orgs, etc., find out where they’ll be going forward, and support them as best you can. 

Anyway. It turned into a toxic mess near the end, but I remember the awe I felt watching the Arab Spring happen on there. I made some friends for life there. Black Twitter! Informative threads about so many topics! Research for some of my books! Hell, I pretty much built my whole professional career there; transitioned there from LJ around the time my first book came out. I’ve gotten career opportunities I never would’ve had there, and made contacts with people I never would’ve dreamed of getting to know. There were so many good moments. But all these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Until the next thing comes along... but that doesn’t mean the loss doesn’t hurt.

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x41 - The Raging Sea King! MetalSeadramon / Sea-Sick and Tired

Previously on Digimon Adventure: Piemon invited the Chosen Children to see the show he's been rehearsing. But when they weren't very impressed, he started stabbing people instead. Fucking auteurs, man. Some people can't handle a little criticism.

I would love to tell you where that leaves us, but before we can begin, the dub needs to finish the previous episode first.

We open on Piximon giving the kids' barrier bubble a hard bop again.

Piximon: You're as ready as you'll ever be! Go get 'em! (Piximon bops the bubble and sends them away) Izzy: I think that was meant to be encouraging. Kari: (flatly) He has an awful lot of confidence in us. (Piximon turns and faces the Dark Masters) Piedmon: You may have fooled those silly children with this brave act, but we know better, don't we? Piximon: What makes you think it's just an act!? (Slow pan out from the coliseum) Kari: Oh, it doesn't seem right just leaving him there-- OHH!? (bright flash) Tai: (matter of factly) Remember, he wanted it this way.

Izzy shits on Piximon's last words. Kari's like "Maybe we should go back OH GOD HE DIED." It's hilarious the way the explosion signifying his death suddenly spooks her like that during her line, and I genuinely don't know if it was meant to be. Then Tai's like "Eh, it was his call. Moving on." XD Wow, guys.

Today's episode begins with the Children at their destination. Lost in a thick fog, they can't make heads or tails of where Piccolomon's final barrier brought them to.

Taichi: Where are we? Sora: There's sand under our feet. Yamato: We could be in a desert. Koushiro: Uh, I smell salt.... Mimi: Are those waves? Jou: It's the ocean!

There's something funny about Yamato speculating that we might be in a desert while we clearly see the ocean in front of them. Dramatic irony isn't just for drama.

The fog gradually lifts, giving the kids a better view of their surroundings.

Takeru: I'm starting to see things more clearly. Hikari: The fog is disappearing.

Once the kids can see more clearly, Taichi and Yamato check on the others.

Taichi: Are you all okay? Sora: No, we aren't okay. Everyone's exhausted. Yamato: In any case, do we know where we are?

Being bounced like ping-pong balls between the Dark Masters hasn't left the children in the best of states. Poor Mimi had to watch an old friend sacrifice his life for her, and also Chuumon. This was not the victory lap that the kids, high on success and new Ultimate evolutions, were anticipating.

The dub uses the clearing of the fog as a bit of an awkward transition line. Tai speaks up to announce that it's clearing while we're still fading from Piximon's death explosion to the foggy beach in the first place.

Tai: Look, the fog is finally clearing! Joe: Great. Now we can clearly see that we're lost! Izzy: It's more productive to think of ourselves as on our way, Joe. Matt: (sarcastically) Tch, yeah. I feel better already. T.K.: All I know is that I'm getting pretty hungry! Kari: And I'm getting cold! Tai: But everybody's okay, right? Besides being hungry and cold and lost.... Sora: Don't forget frightened, tired, and upset about PIximon. Matt: Otherwise, we're fine.

They start by taking out the geographic guessing game banter and exchange it for bickering. Honestly, though, I do like the bickering here and the subsequent conversation about the group's feelings. It conveys the impression that these kids are high-strung and are psychologically hanging on by a thread right now. What happened has utterly shattered their confidence plus, as Sora points out, they're all grieving on top of it.

The kids look around to try and get their bearings. They quickly find an incredibly helpful landmark.

Koushiro: I feel like I've been here before... Ah!

As soon as Koushiro gasps, everyone whips around to see what he's looking at. Probably a good reflex for them to have developed in this place.

There, on the beach, are the destroyed remains of a series of phone booths.

Koushiro: Broken telephone booths....

Taichi, Yamato, and their Digimon all stare in wide-eyed shock, gasping. Flashback to the phone booths before they were destroyed.

Yamato: Ah! It's those telephone booths! Taichi: You're right. This is the beach on File Island where we met our Digimon for the first time and set off on our journey.

Taichi's remark is a little dry, but it's been thirty-nine episodes since we saw these phone booths. It's probably a good idea to explain the context for kids who hopped in somewhere in the middle.

In the dub:

Izzy: I have a feeling we've been here before. Wait a minute, look! (Everyone looks at the phone booths) Izzy: Those smashed-up phone booths! Sora: You don't think that they could be the same ones, do you? Tai: Of course! I can't believe it. This whole time, we thought we were making all this progress but now it looks like we've just been traveling in one big circle!

Tai, what the fuck are you talking about?

We did not "travel in one big circle" and end up here. That's not.

We did not get here by traveling. Our goal wasn't traveling in the first place. There was... A lot of plot has....

What?

I am genuinely baffled by the words that the dub team chose to put in Tai's mouth. It still captures the idea that we have returned to a place we were once at but his outrage over "traveling in a circle" and unmaking our progress is contextually bizarre.

Meanwhile, the Dark Masters have retreated to the top of Spiral Mountain, where Piemon has scouted the children's location with his giant-ass telescope.

Piemon: I've spotted the Chosen Children and their Digimon. MetalSeadramon: As the king of the seas, the coast belongs to me. The lives of the Chosen Children and their Digimon are mine to take. Now, who should I use from my Deep Savers Ankoku Gundan?

MetalSeadramon's army is called "Deep Savers Ankoku Gundan", mixing English and Japanese while directly referencing the name of the V-Pet release that he's from. Fans of mech anime might recognize that last word; gundan is the Japanese word for military armed forces.

Ankoku, meanwhile, means "darkness" - not quite "evil" as the subtitle up there suggests. Though darkness and evil are often related ideas, it's best here to not be poetic with it and leave it at darkness due to the association with MetalSeadramon's faction. Fitting that a Dark Master would have an ankoku gundan.

(From an American perspective, calling them an army also seems weird because. Like. They aren't ground troops. They'd be more like Marines over here. But different cultures have different standards for armed forces terminology.)

If you were to try to localize this for Americans, something like the "Deep Savers Dark Forces" would make sense to me. The dub has its own solution: Not mentioning that MetalSeadramon has an army at his disposal at all.

Piedmon: How small they look from here. Like ants! Strange that such little creatures could cause SO MUCH TROUBLE!!! MetalSeadramon: They won't for long! They're standing on the edge of my territory now: The sea! I'll be the one to finish these DigiDestined once and for all! Piedmon: Hmm, bold words! But you're not the first to make such a boast, MetalSeadramon! MetalSeadramon: But I will be the last! They'll be shark bait before the day is through!

...okay, now it's Piedmon's turn in the "What the fuck are you on about?" chair. He's so mad and. Like. The kids haven't fucking done anything yet. XD

Piedmon is coming at this from the angle of Rita Repulsa plotting her 87th scheme to destroy the Power Rangers but. Like. At this point, the Dark Masters have had one altercation with the Chosen Children that they handily won. Why is he so mad?

Piedmon is so mad that MetalSeadramon doesn't even get to bring up his Deep Savers Ankoku Gundan.

Why is everybody so mad? XD

While MetalSeadramon is picking out his forces, the Children try and figure out next steps.

Koushiro: Since we're back on File Island.... Yamato: Is there a meaning to it? Sora: We must have been sent to File Island for a reason, right? Taichi: But what are we supposed to do here-- Voice: HELP ME!!!

The kids look and see some poor 'mon flailing and screaming out in the ocean.

Takeru: Someone's drowning! Hikari: We have to help them! Takeru: But our Digimon are tired.... Hikari: Then we help them ourselves! Takeru: Oh!

Hikari sprints for the shoreline, ready to dive into the water and swim out there herself - with Takeru trailing behind her. Fortunately, Taichi and Yamato's Big Brother Alarms start blaring in their brains and they jump in, physically stopping their younger siblings.

Yamato: TAKERU!!! Taichi: Hikari, wait! Let's all go help them. Yamato: We can use that canoe over there.

Leaving their Digimon Partners on the shore, the eight children pile into the convenient nearby canoe. This definitely is not a trap.

In the dub, the kids are still inexplicably whining that returning to File Island again somehow means they've accomplished nothing.

Matt: So we've just gone in one big circle, huh? Makes the whole thing seem kinda pointless, doesn't it? Sora: Hold on, maybe that's it! Maybe the pointlessness of it is the whole point! Agumon: Say what? Tai: (sarcastic) Thanks for the philosophy; That's a big help. Voice: HEEEELP SAVE ME!!! Mimi: Look! Out there! Someone's drowning! Kari: Somebody's gotta do something! T.K.: They're too tired; They'll be drowned themselves. Kari: Okay, then in that case, we'll have to go! (Tai and Matt intervene) Tai: Kari! Matt: Yo, wait up, T.K. Tai: Maybe someone bigger should go. Matt: We can use that outrigger. T.K.: I'm coming too! Kari: ME TOO!!! Tai: Okay, okay. Sora: Wait up! I'm coming too! Mimi: I can help!

I want to make a "The real xyz was the friends we made along the way" joke but I genuinely do not know what the kids think they have failed to achieve by returning here.

Matt's totally casual, "Yo, wait up" made me laugh. What a weird vibe. XD

I do like that Sora and Mimi volunteer themselves to help, rather than Taichi speaking for the group that they'll all go do this.

Making the worst decision imaginable, the children set out by themselves to go help the drowning 'mon.

Voice: HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!!

As the children approach, their target starts to come into view. A single horn sticking up from the water, with an inflatable tube around it.

Mimi: ...huh? How can they be drowning when they have an inflatable tube?

Suddenly, Shellmon explodes up from the water, with the rinky-dink tube dangling from one of their shell spikes.

Shellmon: SHELLLLLLLLLMOOOOOOOOON!!! Taichi: HUH!?!? Hikari: Do you know them, Onii-chan? Taichi: We fought them once before! We can't win this! RUN FOR IT!

Gotta appreciate Shellmon screaming their name like a Pokemon in case there's any confusion about which Digimon this is. XD Togemon does this too sometimes and I am just. I'm a sucker for any time a fighter shouts their own name as a battle cry and lunges into combat.

In the dub:

Voice: HELP ME!!! HEEEELP!!! Tai & Matt: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Voice: (deep voice) Hohoho hahahaha! Mimi: Did his voice get lower or what? (Shellmon ambush) Shellmon: RAAARGH!!!

The dub puts a commercial break here, as Shellmon reveals himself. Good spot to use for that commercial cliffhanger. Then we come back to Shellmon revealing himself again.

Shellmon: RAAARGH!!! Tai: Whoa! Kari: Guys! A sea monster! Tai: You can say that again! That's Shellmon, and he's not here to play water polo! PADDLE LIKE CRAZY!!!

So, the bad is that we lose Mimi pointing out the WTF of Shellmon's inflatable tube. The dub goes out of its way to give her something else to comment on instead, leaving the tube as an unremarked upon weird visual. Sometimes it feels like they make different choices just for the sake of being different.

The good is that "Paddle like crazy!" is a fantastically flavorful way to translate "Nigero!" pronounced nee-geh-roh, the Japanese verb for fleeing from something. A+

The children paddle for shore as fast as they can, but Shellmon gives chase.

Shellmon: (chasing) LET ME DROWN YOU ALL!!! Agumon: FASTER, HUMANS!!!

The humans do not acquiesce to Shellmon's request, forcing them to swim after them.

Mimi: AHHH!!! THEY'RE CLOSING IN!!!

Shellmon gets close enough to try and bite down on the canoe, but the kids manage to paddle away too quickly for their jaw to hit its mark. Sinking under the water, Shellmon instead picks up speed and smashes through the 'iako connecting the main body of the canoe to its ama.

Shellmon: (exploding up from the water again) THERE'S NO ESCAPE!!! Agumon: We have to push down our fatigue and go save them! Pyokomon: WAIT!!! Mochimon: Let us take care of this.

Mochimon, Pyokomon, Tanemon, and Pukamon volunteer to step in so that Agumon, Gabumon, Tailmon, and Patamon can rest.

The dub, of course, cuts Shellmon directly saying he wants to drown the children.

Shellmon: There's no escaping! You're in my element now! Agumon: Come on, guys! Move it! Tai: (panicked) Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! (Shellmon closes in) Mimi: He's right on top of us! Izzy: Watch out! (Shellmon misses his bite) Mimi: Eugh, that breath. EVER HEAR OF FLOSSING!?!? Tai: (panicked) Stroke! Stroke! Hey, are you guys paddling or am I just talking to myself!? (Shellmon breaks the 'iako and re-emerges) Shellmon: RAAARGH!!! Agumon: We may be exhausted, but we can't just sit here! We've gotta help! Motimon: No! Leave it to us; You save your Digi-strength!

A lot more dialogue in the dub version of this chase, including two separate laugh lines: a Mimi Quip violently stabbed into Shellmon's face and Tai pissing himself while trying to be leaderly. Both of these are great. XD

The four Babies evolve into Tentomon, Piyomon, Palmon, and Gomamon, then throw themselves into the fight. Gomamon swims out towards Shellmon with Piyomon and Tentomon flanking him in the air. Palmon remains on the shore.

Palmon snags Shellmon with her Poison Ivy, jerking his attention away from the humans. Once he stops and focuses on the attackers, she lets go. Piyomon and Tentomon move in, strafing Shellmon from above with alternating shots of Petit Thunder and Magical Fire.

For his part, Gomamon's Marching Fishes surround the canoe. Gomamon takes the back of the canoe, swimming with his fishes and ushering the humans safely away from the battleground.

Peppered by enemy fire, Shellmon withdraws into his shell screaming for help.

Shellmon: For real, HELP ME!!!

Shellmon flees beneath the ocean waves, retreating from the fight and leaving behind the inflatable tube. A bit too overenthusiastic, Piyomon and Tentomon try to chase after him, plunging into the ocean and ending up having to use Shellmon's tube to save themselves.

The dub adds a silence-breaker to the kids' Marching Fishes escape.

Tai: Whoa! That's more like it! This is the way to travel!

Then when Shellmon has to retreat, his line is:

Shellmon: Oh, forget this!

Which isn't nearly as funny as his original line.

With Shellmon defeated, the children and their Digimon partners regroup at the beach.

Taichi: I know everyone's tired, but I do think our Digimon are definitely getting stronger! Hikari: Onii-chan, how do you know that? Taichi: When we fought Shellmon before, we could only win after Agumon evolved into Greymon.

Taichi flashes back on Agumon's first evolution.

I'd be remiss not to point out that this isn't a fair comparison. Agumon was the only one capable of fighting back then because the rest of the team was starving. If Agumon had to solo Shellmon now, he'd probably still have a hard time.

But, to Taichi's point, the Digimon were all recently pummeled by the Dark Masters so it's not like they're in pristine condition now. They still managed to pull it together and chase off Shellmon as a team despite it all.

Taichi: This time, we didn't need Agumon to evolve. Agumon: That's because we worked together as a team! Taichi: But Greymon's power alone should still be greater than everyone's powers put together! Hikari: Maybe Shellmon got weaker? Taichi: No. I'm certain that this means each of our Digimon are getting stronger. Honestly, I've been wondering up to this point what Piccolomon meant earlier....

Flashback to their escape from the Dark Masters.

Taichi: Piccolomon, we made it this way believing that as long as the eight of us were together, we could save both worlds. But-- Piccolomon: It's true that the eight of you are together pi but that alone isn't enough to win pi.

Back in the present, Taichi presents his conclusion.

Taichi: I think he was trying to say that we have to get stronger.

In the dub:

Tai: I know they're all dead tired and they may not feel like it at the moment, but I think today proved that our Digimon are getting stronger and stronger. Kari: That would be great, but what makes you think so? Tai: I remember the last time we took on Shellmon. Agumon had to Digivolve into Greymon before we could finally beat him. And even then, it was close! (Flashback to Greymon absolutely working over Shellmon) Tai: But this time, they beat him easily without Greymon! Agumon: Yeah, but don't forget, Tai: They ganged up on him. It was four of them against one. Tai: But they didn't have to Digivolve as far to do it. I still say it means you're stronger than you were. Kari: Or maybe Shellmon's just weaker than he was. Tai: How come everyone's being such a downer all of a sudden!? I'm trying to be positive here! Besides, I still can't get out of my mind something that Piximon said to me back there. (Flashback to Piximon) Tai: But you said it was possible to save the planet if the eight of us were all together! How come it's not happening, huh? What's up, Piximon!? Piximon: The truth is, being together is not enough. There's something else that you need to do to beat 'em. (Back to present) Tai: I think he meant we had to get stronger! And that's just what's happening!

In light of Taichi's suggestion, the rest of the group discuss with their Partners.

Sora: I think so too! Piyomon: You do? Yamato: You've grown up well. Gabumon: When you put it like that, I feel it too. Tentomon: Koushiro-han, do you think that way about me? Koushiro: Well, bit by bit, maybe. Tentomon: (faceplant) Yaghyagh.... Patamon: Have I matured too? Takeru: Yeah! Of course you have! Tailmon: What about me? Hikari: We only joined the Chosen Children recently, so I think it's too early to tell. Tailmon: (droops) Oh. That's disappointing. Agumon: Don't worry! All of us will get stronger! Tailmon: Yeah, you're right!

Poor Tailmon. But, I mean, to be fair... This is like her third day with Hikari. The others have been with their partners for months.

Don't worry, Tailmon. If it helps, remember that you're a stage above them all so you're technically the strongest one here.

In the dub:

Sora: Yeah, maybe Tai's right. Biyomon: I feel stronger! Matt: Come to think of it, you are looking kind of buff. Gabumon: Thanks very much. That's a compliment, right? Tentomon: Do I look stronger to you, Izzy? Izzy: I don't know, make a muscle. Tentomon: (faceplant) I WAS!!! Patamon: Do I look different, T.K.? T.K.: Yeah, you look buffed out to the max! Gatomon: Kari? Kari: Well, to be honest, you don't look any different to me. But give it time, Gatomon; You'll catch up with the rest. Gatomon: (droops) If you say so.... Agumon: Come to think of it, your coat's looking glossier. Gatomon: Really? You think?

Dub passed up a prime opportunity to have Izzy be a dick in a way that's 100% consistent to the original, but the replacement gag is pretty good too.

I don't like Kari's line. Hikari made the salient point that they're both newcomers so they haven't had time for Tailmon to grow from where she was when Hikari met her. She makes no comparison to the others, but points out that she can't congratulate Tailmon for "growth" when they've barely known each other for long.

Kari, on the other hand, directly compares Gatomon to the rest of the team and calls her abilities inferior. Rather than saying that Gatomon hasn't improved much since they met, she says that Gatomon's fallen behind her peers; That is a completely different sentiment, and one not really supported by what we know of her.

Suddenly, the kids notice the sun shining a little brighter, as the heat begins to distort distant things around them.

Taichi: Huh!? Is that a mirage!?

In the distance, the kids notice a strange hut on the beach, distorted by the heat.

Yamato: There's a beach house! Takeru: Did there used to be a beach house on the coast of File Island? Koushiro: That's not a beach house on the coast of File Island. That's a mirage of a beach house on the coast of File Island. Tentomon: No! That's a real beach house on the coast of File Island!

This is a bit repetitive but it flows better in Japanese. Basically, they're all having fun saying the words "File-tou no kaigan ni" at the start of each sentence, which comes through with a nice rhythmic flow.

Metal Gear Solid alert noise but as a flash mob.

An interesting cultural note about this obvious second trap: In Japanese folklore, mirages are created by the breath of clams. I'm not 100% but to my understanding, mirages bubble up from the sea as images of the great city beneath the ocean, from which the dragon god who rules the sea presides. No one who chases these images ever returns.

We've heard a little about the mythical sea dragon god before. Back at the "Pagumon village", Mimi misremembered a folktale about her favorite character Otohime, daughter of said dragon god. Obviously, here in the Digital World, the sea dragon god is MetalSeadramon.

So. Y'know. Don't trust fucking mirages when you're at war with Otohime's papa. Where this building came from doesn't get explained, but there's a cultural implication that MetalSeadramon manifested it via the mirage.

The dub kicks us off with a silence-breaking quip.

Matt: (sarcastic) Did it get brighter all of a sudden, or is it just Tai's sunny disposition? Tai: ...maybe it's like a mirage.... Matt: Huh!? Was that shack there before? T.K.: Maybe somebody moved in while we were gone? Mimi: Mmm, something smells suspiciously like food! Izzy: Let's take it easy, everyone. Remember, we're in the Digi-World where not everything is what it appears to be. Tentomon: Looks may be deceiving, but smells? That's something else, and I definitely smell grilling hambugers! See? It's a snack bar! Burgers, sodas, ice cream, pizza!

Genuinely surprised that Tai didn't use his line to clap back at Matt.

The File-tou no kaigan ni bit isn't going to translate, so they replace it with discussion of a delicious smell flowing out of the mirage.

Ravenous with hunger and gullible as ever, the children fantasize about all the delicious food that might be in the beach house.

I love the little American flag poking out of the cheeseburger. XD

The mob swarms towards the building.

Taichi: Ramen! Agumon: Curried rice! Takeru: Ice cream! Tentomon: Yakisoba noodles!

They're all in such a hurry that Jou accidentally clips the back of of Mimi's foot, pinning down her boot and forcing her to trip and fall out of it. Mimi faceplants into the beach sand.

Jou picks up Mimi's boot, handing it back to her.

Jou: Ah, I'm sorry! Mimi: Mrrgh.... Gomamon: Oh, come on.... What the heck are you guys doing!? Mimi: They others are going to get all the food if we don't catch up! Jou & Mimi: EHHHH!?!?

Absolutely nobody has stopped for them. The other kids eagerly rush inside the hut.

In the dub:

Tai: Mirage or not, I'll take my chances! GANGWAY!!! Group: (Miscellaneous cheering and hooting) (Joe trips Mimi. He stops to return her boot.) Joe: Sorry, Mimi. Mimi: Oh, thanks. Gomamon: Come on, what are you two waiting for!? Palmon: Yeah, they're going to eat everything without us! Joe: Huh? Mimi: UGH!!!

They cut out the kids yelling out specific food items they want to eat, probably because they already had Tentomon run down the list of American Food Things a moment ago. Otherwise, pretty faithful.

Once (six out of eight) Chosen Children are inside, the trap is sprung. The shack is completely empty, and a sudden sandstorm kicks up and seals the door in sand. Then their assailant reveals himself.

Anomalocarimon: (rising from the sands) ANOMALOCARIMON!!!

Anomalocarimon is a Perfect-stage Data-type Ancient Crustacean Digimon. Their name and design both stem from the ancient anomalocaris. They're the other Data Perfect for the Deep Savers line; Cousin to MegaSeadramon and capable of evolving into MetalSeadramon. Clearly a member of the Deep Savers Ankoku Gundan.

Narrator: Anomalocarimon. An Ancient Crustacean Digimon. By crossing their forelimbs together, they unleash their special attack Stinger Surprise! Anomalocarimon: This isn't your average beach house! This is a death house that will drain away all your energy! Yamato: What!? Anomalocarimon: SUNA SHOWER!!!

Anomalocarimon's Stinger Surprise is entirely in English, but Suna (Sand) Shower mixes English and Japanese.

I'm a little sad that Anomalocarimon didn't say "This isn't some beach house on the coast of File Island! This is a death house on the coast of File Island!"

The death house glows with a bright light that begins draining the kids and their Digimon. Anomalocarimon's Sand shower sprays sand from his mouth, forcing the kids to the ground. Taichi takes Takeru and Hikari in his arms, trying to protect them both as the sand shower forces everyone down.

In the dub, Sora speaks up when they notice the door sealing behind them. Also, the dub refers to this Digimon as Scorpiomon, attempting to pass them off as a scorpion.

Sora: What's that!? It's a trap! (Scorpiomon reveals themselves) Scorpiomon: Whuh-hahaha! Snack time! Patamon: (rundown) It's Scorpiomon! One of MetalSeadramon's flunkies. Between his pinches and his tail, it's hard to know which end of him is worse! Scorpiomon: Sorry, but the only munchies around here are you! Now, say goodnight! It's bedtime! Matt: (challenging) Yeah!? Scorpiomon: Yeah! SCORPION STORM!!! (Scorpiomon sprays down everyone with sand) Sora: ...can't...breathe...can't...eugh....

How would Patamon know who MetalSeadramon's flunkies are? We met him like an hour ago.

The dub misses the exposition that the mirage house drains energy, sort of like what Etemon's Love Serenade would do to them. So they just sort of give up without a fight in that version.

Fortunately, thanks to an overeager mistake, only six of the eight children were caught in this trap. The other two remain outside.

Mimi: Those voices! Jou: Did something happen to the others? Gomamon: Let's go see! Palmon: Yeah!

Mimi and Jou hurry to the beach house with their Partners, where they find the doorway blocked up with sand.

Jou: (gasp) This is-- Gomamon: Shh!

Realizing they're standing on the outer fringe of a trap, the group falls quiet. They sneak around to the side of the house and peek in through the blinds, where they see the rest of their nakama unconscious and covered in sand within.

Comically, all four shriek in horror, then clap hands over each other's mouths and shush each other. Great job, team. Way to flex that one shared brain cell. XD

In the dub:

Mimi: (gasp) Joe: Those sounds never mean anything good! Gomamon: Let's go! (The quartet sprints to the beach house) Mimi: (disappointed) Oh, no! Something tells me this means no chili dogs. (Everyone gasps, then creeps up and spies through the window) Mimi: Oh, wow! What's happened to them? Are they... Could they be.... (Everyone gasps in shock then shushes each other)

Mimi gets two silence-breaker lines added. The first one is an inappropriately-timed Mimi Quip but a pretty fair one, I think. Mimi once got so hangry that it thwarted Devimon's schemes. I can believe that being her kneejerk reaction.

The second one is... Is Mimi implying that she thinks the rest of the team is dead? It feels like that's the implication she left hanging there. Which is super dark yet tonally appropriate. They're alive, but not for lack of trying!

I like these extra lines. ^_^

While Mimi and Jou remain hidden around the side of the house, MetalSeadramon's laughter suddenly cuts through the air. He congratulates his soldier on a job well done.

Jou and Mimi eavesdrop on MetalSeadramon's meeting with Anomalocarimon.

MetalSeadramon: Ahahaha! Great work, Anomalocarimon! I expect no less from a member of my Deep Savers Ankoku Gundan. Here is your payment.

MetalSeadramon rewards Anomalocarimon with a shower of tasty clams to eat.

Are these the same clams whose breath created the beach house mirage? Or different ones? No idea. But it's a boon that Anomalocarimon is thrilled to receive.

Anomalocarimon: YIPPEE!!! ANOMALOCARIMOOOOON!!!

Anomalocarimon digs into the clams, eating one after another and tossing the shells. One shell bops Gomamon on the head.

Gomamon: Augh! Palmon: Shhh! MetalSeadramon: Huh?

The towering sea dragon turns his head to the tree line, following that unexpected sound. Palmon grabs Gomamon and presses herself against a tree, while Jou and Mimi lay flat against the ground. After a moment MetalSeadramon stops caring and leaves for the beach house.

MetalSeadramon: Mm. Time for annihilation.

In the dub:

MetalSeadramon: Hehehe haha.... Well done, Scorpiomon. These DigiDestined are not so difficult to handle after all! Here's your reward. (Clam shower) Scorpiomon: OOOOH, CLAMS!!! Thank you! Thank you, boss! I just love clams! I just can't get enough of them! (A discarded clamshell bops Gomamon) Gomamon: Ow... Palmon: Shhh! MetalSeadramon: WHAT WAS THAT!?!? Scorpiomon: What is it, boss? You want some? MetalSeadramon: QUIET!!! I thought I heard something. (The DigiDestined pass their stealth check) Scorpiomon: I didn't hear anything. MetalSeadramon: Hmph. (heads out) Well, now to finish them off.

More silence-breakers added to break up the tense moment where MetalSeadramon nearly catches them. This one's a mixed bag; We lose that tension and suspense, but gain a fun little exchange between dipshit minion and his superior.

As MetalSeadramon approaches the beach house, he finds the door blocked off and realizes he'll need a clever way of getting inside-- No, I'm kidding, he moves through it like butter.

MetalSeadramon looks over the captured children for a moment, then withdraws his head from the shack.

MetalSeadramon: ...there are eight Chosen Children. Two of them aren't here.

Another carelessly discarded clamshell strikes MetalSeadramon on the snout, bouncing harmlessly off his invulnerable plating.

MetalSeadramon: And you're just stuffing your face!? Anomalocarimon: (nervous) Ehh...? MetalSeadramon: Hurry up and go find the remaining Chosen Children! Anomalocarimon: A-a-a-a-ANOMALOCARIMOOOON!!! (scurries off)

Realizing he's after them, Jou and Mimi shriek one last time, this time giving their positions away. Abandoning stealth, they flee across the beach.

Anomalocarimon: (aggressive) ANOMALOCARIMON!!!

The dub has some more extra dialogue for MetalSeadramon.

MetalSeadramon: (breaking through the house) Hehehehe! Eight little gnats and their Digimon accomplices. ...hmm.... (MetalSeadramon withdraws his head) MetalSeadramon: What's this!? There's supposed to be eight of them! Two of them are missing! (Clamshell bop) MetalSeadramon: YOU CHUCKLE-HEADED COCKLESHELL!!! Stop eating and find the other two NOW!!! Scorpiomon: Oh, you got it! Right away! I'm on it! (scurries off) (Scorpiomon chases down Jou and Mimi) Scorpiomon: Come back here! (wheeze wheeze) Oh, I hate it when they do this. Hey! Slow down! (gets closer) Aha! I gotcha now!

MetalSeadramon calls Scorpiomon a "cockleshell" with all the energy of telling someone in elementary school to "Kiss my ass-phalt". XD

Neither Jou nor Mimi being especially athletic, Anomalocarimon gains ground quickly. We go to commercial break and come back to Jou and Mimi's legs giving out. They fall into the sand, gasping for breath.

This would be opportune for Anomalocarimon, but they too run out of strength and collapse into the sand, gasping for breath.

Anomalocarimon: ...they're so fast....

Something about this situation motives the kids to get their second wind more quickly than their pursuer, and they get back up and bolt. Anomalocarimon forces themself to resume the chase, ultimately thwarted when the kids take cover behind a rock.

Look, anomalocaris was an aquatic predator. Their biology is not suited to running. You might as well ask a dolphin to chase down a chimpanzee in a land race.

The dub makes this even more pathetic for Scorpiomon.

Scorpiomon: (collapses) ...too many clams for lunch.... (Joe and Mimi get up and run) Scorpiomon: Oh no! Not again! Come on! COME ON!!! ...I'm not built for this. Gomamon: This way! THIS WAY!!!

XD Oh man, I am loving the dub's take on Scorpiomon. He's such a weenie. I adore the line "I'm not built for this" because in addition a weenie whine, it's factually correct. He's actually not!

What the hell is MetalSeadramon doing? Is he kicking back and watching Anomalocarimon flail? Taking notes for Anomalocarimon's next performance review? Dark Master MetalSeadramon coiled up in the sand watching both groups faint into the sand and sit there for however long, going, "...really?"

Meanwhile, six vulnerable Chosen Children are going unannihilated because MetalSeadramon is letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. If he can't kill all eight then he's not going to touch a single one!

Finally giving up on the foot chase, Anomalocarimon decides on a new approach. While the children take cover behind the rock, Anomalocarimon burrows into the ground.

Mimi, Jou, and their Partners catch their breath behind the safety of the rock.

Palmon: No more.... Jou: We have to fight.... Gomamon: You're right....

While Mimi and Palmon remain behind the rock, Jou and Gomamon emerge to confront Anomalocarimon. All they find is the hole left in the ground where they burrowed.

Mimi: What's wrong? Jou: Anomalocarimon is... gone.... Gomamon: They ran away! Mimi: (emerges) They could be hiding.... Palmon: If only we could evolve.... Gomamon: Yeah, but we're tired and starving so-- Oh! We can just scrounge for something!

The Digimon have gotten used to the human world, where food comes out of the refrigerator. That's only occasionally true on File Island.

Gomamon quickly digs up a pair of clams, while Palmon pulls some seaweed out of the ocean.

Gomamon: Looks tasty! Palmon: Found this!

Gomamon and Palmon eagerly fill their stomachs and restore their stamina.

In the dub, Scorpiomon remains hilariously pitiful.

Scorpiomon: Oh, forget it! (burrows) Joe: I can't... run anymore... we'll just have to... stand and fight.... Gomamon: Right! (Joe and Gomamon emerge) Gomamon: Huh? We may not have to.... Mimi: What happened? Joe: I don't know, but he's gone! Gomamon: Haha! What a lucky break! Mimi: Lucky for us, he doesn't work out. Palmon: Ugh, I'm getting my exercise right now. My roots are exhausted. Gomamon: And I am so hungry I could just about eat seaweed. Hey, wait! Lookit! (Gomamon and Palmon scrounge up food)

The lines at Scorpiomon's expense are great. Good casual dialogue.

The dub's take on the food search doesn't click, though. This is kind of an important moment, as we see the Digimon reacquaint themselves with scavenging the Digital World for food after being in the human world for a while.

The problem is posed: We can't evolve because we're hungry. Then the Digimon remember how to solve that problem their way, rather than being led astray by easy answers like the illusory beach house, which have so often been too good to be true.

This doesn't come across in the dub, where the vibe is simply, "Oh I'm hungry; Let's eat." We don't get to see the transformation of their way of thinking from human world comfort back to Digital World survivalism.

Down beneath the waves, Anomalocarimon notices one of Gomamon's carelessly discarded clamshells sinking beneath the water. Surprised, they poke their head back up to see what's up.

The other clamshell bops Anomalocarimon right in the joystick antennae thing that is not their eye but can easily be mistaken for it.

Anomalocarimon: Ow! ANOMALOCARIMON!!!

Anomalocarimon surges out of the ocean to attack Jou and Mimi. Evolving to protect them, Togemon and Ikkakumon counterattack, but to little effect. Anomalocarimon's stingers block Togemon's Chiku-Chiku Bang-Bang. Ikkakumon lands three direct hits of Harpoon Vulcan, but Anomalocarimon tanks all three missiles and remains unscathed.

In the dub, Scorpiomon mistakes Gomamon's meal for the clams he was paid earlier.

Gomamon: Not bad! Scorpiomon: Huh? GET YOUR MITTS OFF MY CLAMS!!!

While Togemon and Ikkakumon fight Anomalocarimon, Jou and Mimi put Taichi's earlier theory to the test.

It does not go well.

Jou: Since Togemon and Ikkakumon have grown, they shouldn't lose this.... Mimi: And since it's two against one, we should have up the upper hand!

Anomalocarimon proceeds to beat their Digimon like a drum. They swipe Ikkakumon away with their tail, then pick up Togemon and squeeze her between their two stingers, crushing her.

Togemon: IT HURTS!!! HELP ME!!!

Then they slam Togemon down on top of Ikkakumon for good measure.

Jou: (disappointed) ...they're losing. Mimi: It's too dangerous to keep this up! We'll be killed! Jou: Maybe they'd win if they evolve again!

Probably, yes. But it nonetheless makes for a solid counterargument against Taichi's theory.

In the dub:

Joe: If the Digimon really are getting stronger, they should be able to handle Scorpiomon, no problem! Mimi: I hope so, but it doesn't really look like they're doing too well! (Scorpiomon swats Ikakkumon, then picks up Togemon) Togemon: HEY, PUT ME DOWN YOU OVERGROWN CRAWDADDY BEFORE I GET REALLY ANGRY!!! (Scorpiomon smacks Ikkakumon with Togemon) Joe: Oh, boy. Mimi: WHY DON'T YOU COME OUT FROM BEHIND YOUR SHELL AND FIGHT LIKE A CLAM!?!? Joe: Uh, Mimi? Cool it! I don't think he thought that was very funny!

Mimi challenges Scorpiomon to a fistfight.

Bad. Ass.

And also tremendously inconsistent to both versions of her character. Mimi knows better. Her father doesn't know better, but Mimi knows better.

But badass.

Anomalocarimon tries to spray Mimi and Jou down with their Suna Shower, but the kids take cover behind the rocks again.

Anomalocarimon moves to follow. Ikkakumon and Togemon sprint up behind them.

Ikkakumon: HANG ON!!! We're the ones you're fighting!

Anomalocarimon responds with their signature Stinger Surprise. Ikkakumon and Togemon clear out before the shot hits. The explosion tears open the sand, revealing a treasure trove of tasty clams.

The dub gives Ikkakumon's line over to Togemon.

Togemon: Hey, squid breath! We're the ones you want!

They also change Scorpiomon's attack to Tail Blade, despite not involving his tail in any way.

Anomalocarimon is immediately distracted by all those tasty, tasty clams.

Anomalocarimon: Hey, this looks delicious! Jou: NOW, IKKAKUMON!!! Mimi: SUPER-EVOLVE, TOGEMON!!!

Their Digimon super-evolve into Zudomon and Lilimon. Followed by a hilariously dopey shot where a still image of Lilimon slowly flies in front of Jou and Mimi for no apparent reason.

In the dub:

Scorpiomon: Ooh! I just love clams! Joe: Hurry up! Now's your chance! Mimi: Get moving! Digivolve, Togemon!

Once they've Digivolved again, the dub gives Dopey Shot Lillymon a silence-breaker to at least lend some purpose to that moment.

Lillymon: Okay, Zudomon, let's GOOOOOOO!!!

And go, they do.

Zudomon pulls aggro, drawing Anomalocarimon's fire. Tucking down into a defensive position, Zudomon's hard shell tanks Anomalocarimon's Stinger Surprise.

While the enemy is distracted, Lilimon blindsides them with Flower Cannon. The shot seems to do little damage but pulls Anomalocarimon's attention away from Zudomon; A fatal mistake. Zudomon closes distance, calling Hammer Spark and slamming his Thor Hammer down directly between Anomalocarimon's antennae.

With a pitiful whimper, Anomalocarimon falls over on their back, defeated.

Inside the beach house, the children and their Digimon are starting to stir. MetalSeadramon's window of opportunity is closing.

Taichi: Hikari....

Outside, MetalSeadramon looms over the beach house, complaining about his tardy soldier.

MetalSeadramon: They're late. Anomalocarimon is late! What could they possibly be doing?

Meanwhile, Mimi and Jou ride Zudomon back towards the beach house. Lilimon flies nearby, while Zudomon drags Anomalocarimon's unconscious body along with them.

Jou: Faster, Zudomon! We have to hurry and save everyone!

In the dub:

Tai: Ugh... Kari.... (Outside) MetalSeadramon: Where is that fool with those other children!? I'm tired of waiting! (Zudomon on his way) Joe: Hurry! Faster! We gotta move, now! Did you really have to bring along a souvenir!?

Joe eases the tension by throwing down one of the funniest laugh lines in the dub thus far. Holy shit, that got me. XD

It hasn't been established what Zudomon intends to do with the unconscious Anomalocarimon, so Joe calling him out for that ambiguity lands hard. But it's also a joke that meshes and integrates with the tone, rather than disrupting it. A+

At the beach house, MetalSeadramon's decided that he's done waiting.

MetalSeadramon: I don't care about the other two Chosen Children anymore.

MetalSeadramon breathes fire into the air, intending to set the whole beach house ablaze. Jou, Mimi, and their Partners take cover behind the tree line.

Mimi: MetalSeadramon is planning to burn down the beach house with everyone inside! Lilimon: Come on! Hurry!

Lilimon, Mimi, and Jou race inside the beach house through a... somewhat unexplained hole in the beach house wall. Is that supposed to be the hole MetalSeadramon smashed earlier? Did he nervously pace around to the other side of the beach house afterwards? It sure looks a lot bigger than his head.

Lilimon goes for Taichi, while Mimi makes a beeline for Sora.

Lilimon: Taichi, pull yourself together. Taichi: Lilimon? Mimi: SORA-SAN!!! Jou: Yamato! Koushiro! Lilimon: (flies over the Digimon) Quickly, everyone! Tentomon: Huh, what's going on?

Out front, MetalSeadramon's finished testing his firebreath. He turns his gaze down on the house.

MetalSeadramon: FIRE!!!

He lets it rip, his flames engulfing the house in seconds.

In the dub:

MetalSeadramon: That does it! I'll worry about the other two children later. Mimi: Yikes! And I thought Shellmon's breath was gnarly! He'll toast them like marshmallows! Lillymon: This way! Hurry! Joe: HEY GUYS!!! NAPTIME'S OVER!!!

Joe yells at the top of his lungs while they're passing directly under MetalSeadramon's nose. Somehow, this doesn't give the game away.

Mimi's quip here is a little tonally inappropriate, but I do like the callback to her earlier barb at Shellmon. Mimi's getting a lot of fun lines in this episode.

Lillymon: Tai, you've gotta get out of here! Tai: Huh...? Mimi: Sora, get up! Joe: Matt! Izzy! Move or you're gonna be toast! I mean literally! Lillymon: (flies over the Digimon) Everybody on your feet! Hurry! Tentomon: W-What's going on!? (Outside, MetalSeadramon takes aim) MetalSeadramon: RRRRYAAAAAGH!!! (fires)

MetalSeadramon does not shout "Fire" when he shoots his fire. 0/10 Go to pun jail. For, uh, insufficient punning. For once.

As the beach house goes up in flames, the kids vacate through the big maybe-unexplained hole.

Taichi again takes responsibility for Takeru and Hikari, ushering them out of the building.

Taichi: Hikari! Takeru! Are you okay!? Hikari: Yeah....

Zudomon replaces the children with the unconscious Anomalocarimon. While the kids evacuate, he stands nearby. His shoulders vibrate to indicate that he is silently laughing hysterically to himself. Epic prank, bro.

MetalSeadramon: SIX OF THE CHOSEN CHILDREN AND THEIR DIGIMON ARE DEAD!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Anomalocarimon: (inside, wakes up on fire) EEEYAAAGH ATATAT!!! MetalSeadramon: ...uh?

Anomalocarimon explodes through the sand blocking the door, scurrying across the stand in flames. MetalSeadramon watches them go by in confused silence.

Anomalocarimon: HOT HOT HOT ANOMALOCARIMOOOOON!!!

Finally, when they reach the coastline, Anomalocarimon throws themself into the ocean to douse the flames.

In the dub:

Tai: Whoa! Hang on and keep moving; We're almost there! Mimi: Hurry up and let's get out of here! (Outside) MetalSeadramon: Ha! Farewell, DigiDestined! It was a rare pleasure knowing you! MEDIUM RARE!!! GYAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Scorpiomon: (inside, wakes up on fire) WHAAAAUGH HOT HOT HOT!!! MetalSeadramon: ...huh? (Scorpiomon explodes through the sand barrier and scurries for dear life) Scorpiomon: OW!!! Who's the hot-tempered foul-mouth who--Oh, it was you, boss. Okay. No problem.

MetalSeadramon's "medium rare" quip is great. XD This episode is bringing all the best laugh lines.

I do prefer the original version of Scorpiomon's fiery exit. The dub's sycophantic joke is pretty good too. Both versions put comedic focus in different places, with Scorpiomon's bit emphasizing what a tool he is.

The original, meanwhile, emphasizes MetalSeadramon. He's positioned in center frame so we can watch his head turn and follow Anomalocarimon. The emphasis is on his stunned WTF reaction. Reality is gaslighting him and he is at a loss for words.

Both work on their own, but I like the original better.

Once Anomalocarimon is doused in the ocean, MetalSeadramon finally finds the presence of mind to make sense of what's happened.

MetalSeadramon: The six Chosen Children and their Digimon are gone! Anomalocarimon, what is the meaning of this!? Anomalocarimon: MetalSeadramon-sama, uh... You see....

Unfortunately for him, Anomalocarimon has no better idea of what happened than MetalSeadramon does. They were unconscious the whole time.

MetalSeadramon furiously wraps his tail around Anomalocarimon, hoisting them high up into the air.

MetalSeadramon: SILENCE!!!

MetalSeadramon drops them from a great height, finishing them off. We don't see Anomalocarimon disintegrate into pixels, but they crash into the earth and kick up a huge sandstorm on impact, then are gone afterward - Leaving behind only a large imprint in the sand where they fell. The implication is fairly clear.

RIP Anomalocarimon. Recipient of a prank so epic it got them killed.

In the dub:

MetalSeadramon: Huh? No! NO!!! THEY'RE GONE!!! ALL OF THEM GONE!!! SCORPIOMOOOOOON!!! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?!? Scorpiomon: Uh, w-well, you see... That's a fair question... You see, it happens-- MetalSeadramon: SILENCE!!! (grapples Scorpiomon into the sky) You failed me and I will not forgive FAILURE!!! Scorpiomon: No, I didn't think that you w-OOOOULD!!! (dropped)

Scorpiomon remains a weenie to the end. XD

You know, I kind of expected them to add a line or two indicating that Scorpiomon survived that drop but I guess we're over that. A guy got stabbed in the chest last episode; This is going to be a hard arc to try and hand-wring about character death.

Once MetalSeadramon's gone, the kids emerge and discuss what Jou and Mimi learned.

Lilimon: MetalSeadramon seems to have left. Taichi: Everything's alright now. Mimi: Everything's not alright, actually. Taichi: Huh!? Jou: She's right. Taichi: What do you mean? What happened? Jou: Ikkakumon and Togemon weren't strong enough to defeat Anomalocarimon. They could only win after evolving into Zudomon and Lilimon. Our chances against MetalSeadramon still aren't very good right now. Taichi: So it's just like Piccolomon said. Even with the eight of us together, it's not enough to win. Could it be that the Digimon's evolutions still need improvement?

It was pretty foolish to assume we'd already done whatever Piccolomon thought we still needed to do. There's a long road ahead.

In the dub:

Sora: They're gone! Whew! That was a close one. Tai: But we came out of it okay. That's what counts. Mimi: I hate to tell you this: Everything's not okay! Tai: Huh!? Joe: Mimi's right. Tai: What are you guys talking about!? Did I miss something!? Joe: The Digimon still might not be strong enough. Both of ours had to Digivolve again before they could beat Scorpiomon and he was just a flunkie. Frankly, it's hard to see how they stand a chance against a fully Digivolved monster like MetalSeadramon. Tai: You could be right. Maybe Piximon meant something else when he said we were missing something. Whatever the secret is, we've got to find it if we ever hope to save the world.

Pretty faithful. We also see the return of the phrase "fully Digivolved" now in its new, more correct context. There are still technically Digimon beyond the Ultimate stage but those are basically one-off super-exceptions, not a whole category. When pressed, they often wind up classifying as... like... Ultimate but even more Ultimate-er.

It's pretty safe to call this stage "fully Digivolved".

Suddenly, Tentomon takes off into the air to get a better vantage.

Tentomon: What's that!?

Unfortunately, we will not get the moment to breathe that we thought we were getting. MetalSeadramon only fucked off to stage yet another ambush. Utterly relentless.

Taichi: METALSEADRAMON!!! Lilimon: I'll hold him here! The rest of you, escape on Zudomon's back! Mimi: LILIMON!?!?

Initially, MetalSeadramon takes the bait. Without another word, Lilimon flies out to meet him head-on, then flitters around him and takes off. MetalSeadramon gives chase while Zudomon ferries the children away.

It doesn't take him long to realize the ruse, however. MetalSeadramon abandons Lilimon when he notices Zudomon escaping.

MetalSeadramon: You're all idiots! You think you can escape from me BY SEA!?!?

MetalSeadramon pursues Zudomon, quickly closing distance.

Tentomon: WAUGH!!! METALSEADRAMON IS GAINING ON US!!! Taichi: Faster! Get us out of here, Zudomon! MetalSeadramon: NO CHANCE!!!

Lilimon follows behind MetalSeadramon. In one last desperate bid to pull his attention, she fires off her Flower Cannon. MetalSeadramon's Chrome Digizoid neck plating deflects her shot harmlessly.

MetalSeadramon turns, offering Lilimon only one more moment of his time. Lifting his tail out of the water behind her, he swats her out of the air for an instant KO.

Mimi: LILIMON!!!

Lilimon powers down into Palmon as she falls, tumbling into Mimi's arms.

Mimi: (catch) Palmon!

In the dub, Tentomon doesn't see anything; He reacts to Tai wanting to find the thing they're missing.

Tentomon: Yeah, so the sooner, the better! (MetalSeadramon emerges from the waves) Tai: It's MetalSeadramon again!

The dub puts a commercial break here. Good place for it. Solid cliffhanger. Then they add some extra dialogue to the chase sequence.

Lillymon: Alright, I'll draw him off! Zudomon, you get the others out of here. (Lillymon flies out to confront MetalSeadramon) Lillymon: Yoo-hoo, you big ugly--WHOA! (Lillymon swerves and changes course) Lillymon: Just my luck! He's fast too! (Zudomon tries to escape) Joe: Come on, Zudomon! Move it! Move it! (MetalSeadramon chases Lillymon, but then stops and notices Zudomon escaping) Mimi: Has he seen us? Tai: I don't know, and I don't want to find out! MetalSeadramon: Pathetic little fools! You think you can escape me BY SEA!?!? Tai: I think it's safe to say he's seen us! Tentomon: WAUGH!!! FASTER, ZUDOMON!!! WE NEED SPEED!!! Tai: Yeah, stop dog-paddling! MetalSeadramon: TONIGHT YOU SLEEP WITH THE FISHES!!!

Taichi's quip didn't land for me, but MetalSeadramon's did. Goddammit. XD

Glad they kept the "You think you can escape me by sea!?" bit.

Once Lilimon's out of the fight, MetalSeadramon turns his full attention to Zudomon. He sinks down beneath the waves, vanishing into the murky water.

The children are left in silent anticipation, watching the ocean waves to try and find where MetalSeadramon will emerge. Then, suddenly, his horn breaches the water.

Taichi: Here he comes! Jou: Zudomon!

MetalSeadramon charges at full speed, ramming Zudomon's side and sending the kids on his back tumbling into the ocean. While the kids flounder in the water, Zudomon turns and headbutts MetalSeadramon's serpentine body, knocking him back a bit.

MetalSeadramon follows up with Ultimate Stream, firing straight into the hard shell on Zudomon's back. Zudomon's shell offers no protection from MetalSeadramon's signature move. The shot obliterates what strength Zudomon had left, knocking him back and degenerating him into Gomamon.

Gomamon comically lands on Jou's face, pushing them both underwater.

Jou: AUGH GOMAMON Ablrblurbb.... MetalSeadramon: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Even MetalSeadramon thought it was funny.

The dub, of course, gives the kids some dialogue while they wait for MetalSeadramon.

Tai: Uh-oh. Joe: Is he gone? Mimi: I don't think so! Sora: I can't stand this waiting! Matt: I bet he's right below us! Tai: Shh! Knock it off! (MetalSeadramon emerges on a collision course) Tai: WHOA!!! HE'S RAMMING US!!! Agumon: Hang on! (MetalSeadramon rams Zudomon. They fight; MetalSeadramon obliterates Zudomon.) MetalSeadramon: Never send a Rookie to do a Mega's work! Narrator: Stuck in the middle of the ocean, the DigiDestined are at MetalSeadramon's mercy. What will happen on the next Digimon: Digital Monsters?

Uh, you sent an Ultimate to do a Mega's work earlier, but I get the sentiment.

The dub ends the episode here, presumably to make up screentime they had to spend on the end of last episode. But there's one more scene to go. A great shadow passes beneath the Chosen Children.

MetalSeadramon: Huh? Taichi: WHAMON!!!

Whamon explodes from the water, throwing themself full-speed into MetalSeadramon and body slamming them into the ocean. Then, before MetalSeadramon, Whamon scoops the children up in their mouth.

Taichi: WE'RE SAVED!!! WHAMON WILL PROTECT US WITH HIS BODY!!!

MetalSeadramon recovers in time to catch Whamon's departure. Whamon swims deep into the ocean, escaping from the Dark Master.

MetalSeadramon: Chosen Children and your Digimon.... YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE!!!

The Japanese version leaves off there, on a promise of pursuit by a furious and relentless sea dragon.

Assessment: MetalSeadramon is my favorite of the Dark Masters. There's something about a sinister sea dragon that's so unlike everything else they've fought before. The same can be said of Mugendramon and Pinochimon too, but MetalSeadramon also has that unique aquatic aesthetic going for him.

This episode serves as our proper introduction for the kind of villain MetalSeadramon is: A relentless pursuer hammering the children with an unyielding onslaught of attacks. He's basically doing what Etemon was trying to do, and it's working. He's had them on the backfoot for the entire episode, despite some setbacks.

When he screams "You won't escape" at them at the end, I believe it.

The dub made some questionable choices at the start of this one. Cohesive storytelling is, as usual, their weak point. But their quipping game was superb. Once the action started, the dub was nailing zingers left and right

And since a large chunk of this episode was action, the dub came home with a lot more W's than L's this time around despite its bizarre narrative choices.

[nothingmatters-everythingmatters]

a spiteful little rant about petty real life circumstance~

picking the absolute worst time to peak as I essentially fully start a new role as management for a very "queer" organization (it's like a school sponsored writing publication) on my campus...whoops! in my defense, I had yet to peak when I applied for the job and got it, and was actively still seeking to transition. ironically though, right after I got hired, that's when all the fun catalysts for my peakening happened! the universe plays funny games sometimes with timing.

anyway...the point of this relentless blogposting is that my boss/head of management is a self defined "transfemme" who I watched actively go from they/them to she/her in the span of a few months, and I have just had the fascinating reveal (not shocking, really) that they are a "lesbian" and apparently, this is well known among the management to where people joke their entire personality is being gay and talking about lesbians and man. I really hate to be like this but. it's a little awkward to watch someone who isn't female define themselves with being such a "lesbian" !!! again, what a fun nod from the universe that the second I accept my own same-sex attraction, but I still have all this damn baggage from trying to repress it for so long as well as a new profound loneliness based off my opinions being very isolating from my peer group, I am immediately confronted with the exact concept that I have just been peaked on!! wow!! and especially since I still struggle with even thinking of myself as a lesbian since I've had such dumb, incidental, regrettable and based-on-insecurity experiences with men, watching someone categorically not same-sex attracted be so flippantly defined as the gayest of all gays and so quirky for liking to kiss girls (I'm not mad at all that I'm basically stuck in the closet due to my family situation/location in the states and will probably never be able to be so casual with my attraction because a lot of the people around me still see it as unnatural haha <- lying about not being mad)

worst part and maybe the objectively whiniest and pettiest part of this post is this person apparently is poly and has multiple girlfriends! which they brag about! oh boy!

it all just reminds me of how I used to just not know about any of this, but now I can't help but notice how casual jokes like "I like girls in a lesbian way" are made by trans women online, and how...weird...it feels? yknow, I just want to actually let myself feel love for once after a whole teenage saga of disassociating myself from my body and subjecting myself to degrading relationships because I thought that was the only way I could live, and be in a relationship that makes me feel what everyone else feels so damn easily because the world is catered towards their desires and not mine! but sure, I guess these quirky amabs can just suddenly become so gay and sapphic and whatnot just with a simple change of the pronouns and somehow become the face of the identity I can still barely stand to claim from my lack of experiences but one that eats me up inside with the pain of unfulfillment regardless!

okay, I'm clearly losing the thread here and I admit this is fully written from an impulsive, spite-fueled reaction, but what's an anonymous tumblr blog for if not making my problems everyone's problem because I obviously can't vent about this in real life! in a way, this is better than letting the resentment fester? I can just vent it out and subject my lovely followers to maybe seeing this? wow, I love tumblr.com?

if you did read this, you're a damn saint and I hope you have an amazing whatever time of day it is where you live <3

[cityandking]

bravery, vitality, honesty, appreciation for dai, minah and vesper!

thanks dear!! // positive psychology ask meme

BRAVERY– What kinds of risks do they take? What are they willing to risk to help a stranger? Do they consider the cost-benefit of a risk?

DAI — dai mostly takes what I like to call Smart Risks. he'll weigh the net benefit against the net stupidity of an action and act accordingly. unfortunately his high wisdom doesn't let him take more fun Stupid Risks, so he tends to do things that will help the most people without unduly harming anyone (including himself and/or the party, if possible), and he's very much willing to help a stranger so long as it doesn't involve putting someone innocent in harm's way, now or as a consequence of his actions. (blowing himself up was not a Risk; he knew exactly what he was getting into) MINAH — minah takes Selfish Risks. it's only worth sticking her neck out if she gets something in return. typically that's money or goods, but it could also be secrets, or knowledge, or the warm fuzzy feeling of getting one-up on someone, or a future ally. she doesn't weigh cost-benefit so much as personal benefit. VESPER — vesper isn't about risks so much as sacrifice, which means she does a lot of contemplation and consideration but at the end of the day she's still gonna put herself on the line for anyone who needs someone in their corner. this drives her friends (some more than others) absolutely bonkers.

VITALITY– Are they introverted, extroverted, or ambiverted? Are they more active or passive? What do they do to stay energetic?

DAI — introvert! people are exhausting and he'd prefer not to. he's definitely made a transition from being more passive to more active over the course of the campaign, but he'd still prefer to perform his duties and keep socialization to a small, trusted inner circle MINAH — extroverted-leaning ambivert. she does need alone time to recharge every now and then (mostly only when keeping up The Performance becomes too much), but generally speaking she's active and social and outgoing and fundamentally enjoys being around people. she'll soak up a group dynamic like a sponge so long as no one gets too nosy or personal VESPER — introvert. enjoys a small social gathering, but it takes her a while to warm up to individuals, much less community events. her ideal spot at a social gathering is at the edge of the crowd, watching without getting involved. being inquisitor is kind of the worst.

HONESTY– What kinds of small lies do they tell others? What lies do they tell themselves? What is the biggest lie they’ve told?

DAI — the number one lie he tells is that he's doing better than he is, but these days everyone is so busy and generally traumatized that his own issues kind of blur into the general white noise of "shit's fucked." the lie he tells himself is that he's going to take some time to sort himself out after this is done—for one, he's not sure he believes this will ever be "done" and for another he really doesn't want to work through any of the abyss stuff, and is also kind of leery about digging up the Issues(TM) that preceded the abyss. he got through it and he's still standing and really, he's fine. he's functioning and he can keep hold of himself and his surroundings and it's okay. (I don't actually know what the biggest lie he told was. I think maybe he would tell a pretty big lie to zaref if it meant keeping him safe from the Void.) MINAH — oh, y'know, just the standard everyday lies about who she is as a person and what she wants and where she came from and where she's going. little things, y'know? (minah is very good at lying because minah knows how to take a thread of truth and weave it in, just enough that it's hard to tell where the lie begins.) she lies to herself when she tells herself she doesn't care. I couldn't possibly sit here and list out the biggest lies she's told; she's made up of them you see. VESPER — vesper doesn't lie much. honestly, josie tells most of her lies for her: yes she'd love to do X, she's honored by Y, Z is absolutely the top of her list of priorities. y'know, politics. she's also not really the type to lie to herself—she knows herself too well to let herself get away with anything. her biggest lie has always been her certainty in the face of overwhelming odds—in private, where no one can see, she's a creature of doubt.

APPRECIATION– What kind of accomplishments do they recognize? What things do they find beautiful or attractive? Which of their senses do they find most joy engaging with?

DAI — dai recognizes and appreciates inner strength. stuff like ozy's current trudging path of redemption or zaref telling him about his past; he respects that willingness to see and be seen. he finds honesty, art, and charisma/social skill attractive. he's a predominantly visual guy, and enjoys a satisfying image or vista. (it's nice, despite everything else, to be back in the mountains—he missed the views) MINAH — minah respects and recognizes cleverness. she'll acknowledge most traditional accomplishments of strength or skill, but the ability to outplay or outplan someone is something she really admires and is envious of at times. she also she enjoys artistic endeavors, particularly music, theater, and art—a good performance is like catnip to her (in the artistic sense but also in the deception sense). if she had to pick one specific sense, it would be the sonic. at the end of the day, she's a musician VESPER — vesper recognizes most accomplishments—she's pretty open and honest with her praise—but she's particularly impressed by feats of magic or knowledge or skill. (also martial prowess; she likes someone who can swing a weapon and has nice shoulders). she finds beauty in discovery, be it a new place or a new use of her magic or a new side of a person she knows—she's intensely curious. she finds the most joy through touch and taste—circle living was the same day in and day out, and she enjoys the chance to feel the sun on her skin and eat new foods.

[theowritesfiction]

Okay, so I have been watching The Bear, and I eventually got into the show over the course of S1, but now watching S2, it’s really pissing me off, I think it’s one of the most disappointing sophomore seasons in the history of TV, and I want to rant about it.

But first I wanted to address the rave reviews this show is getting on RT, especially the glowing audience reviews (I don’t give a rat’s ass about the critic reviews, there’s too much group think, peer pressure, conformism and paid shilling going on there that it’s not worth looking at). I looked at the audience reviews in more detail and immediately realized that the ‘people’ giving this show 5-star reviews all follow the same naming convention like Adam F, Christina V, Sam R, etc. In short – almost all of them are bots posting AI generated tripe. The 93% audience review aggregate is a complete sham.

Anyway, why do I hate S2? Well, I found this web article 10 Unpopular Opinions About the Bear and figured I’d look at them to see whether I agree or disagree. So, here we go.

10. The Bear Should Have Continued With The Beef, Not Gone Fine Dining

Yes, fuck yes. The chaotic atmosphere of a greasy spoon/rundown sandwich shop was what made the show. Transitioning to fine dining creates this immediate pretentious vibe that’s completely at odds with S1 mood/themes. And while shows always need to keep evolving, I feel like this was way too radical shift from one end of the spectrum to the very opposite end. Also, I haven’t been to Chicago and don’t know too much about the city, but I have a pair of eyes that still work, and they tell me that this is not a fucking fine dining location, like, it’s just not.

9. The Bear Should Have Stopped After Season 1

Why? Just make a season that doesn’t suck.

8. The Bear Symbolism Is Too On The Nose

I don’t care about the symbolism. It’s handled so ham-fistedly that it literally adds nothing to the show.

7. Ayo Edebiri Is Not A Good Sydney

Disagree. I know Sydney is a polarizing character (although if you want to find out actual valid reasons why someone might not like her, do expect that you’ll have to wade through a disturbing amount of hatred for ambitious black women), but her ‘problematic’ jerk moments are interesting to me, and I think are well acted.

6. Marcus Was Right to Keep Working on his Donuts

Obviously not, Marcus is a part of a brigade, work shift is no time for his pet projects. That said, the episode of Marcus in Copenhagen is the most boring episode in recent TV history. 35 minutes on basically telling me that he leveled up his cooking skill. That could have been an e-mail.

Also, this is why I hate fine dining. Instead of making delicious donuts, this guy spent months training how to prepare pretentious desserts that only the rich 1% will be able to afford. Good job, Marcus, you’re now ready to lick the boots of the rich elites.

5. Richie Was The Real Victim Of The Bear Season 1, Episode 7

No, and triple fuck Richie, the worst character of past decade in TV history. I remember reading one of the anti-Sydney threads on reddit hellhole, and people were posting in masses about how ‘well at least Richie isn’t as bad as Sydney’ and ‘at least Richie gets his redemption’. I’m now at S2E7 and I’m still waiting for this asshole to show any redeeming qualities. I don’t know, maybe I’ve had one too many toxic coworkers like Richie, but I hate this guy an unreasonable amount, I want to stick ice picks in his eye sockets and leave him to bleed out as a service to humankind.

4. The Bear Season 2 Was A Letdown

Yeah, no shit.

3. (ignored as it deals with S2 finale spoilers)

2. People Should Ship Sydney & Marcus, Not Syd & Carmy

Hard disagree. People can ship who they want, but both of these pairings will be dysfunctional. As someone who’s all about shipping, I will be the first to say that this show shouldn’t be about ships. All of these people are completely toxic workaholic assholes who have no time for relationships and should never consider entering one. Syd/Marcus and Syd/Carmy is essentially marrying your job for the second time.

1.      Claire's Story In The Bear Season 2 Didn't Work

Again, no shit, and what I’m going to say shouldn’t be taken as an insult to Claire, I have nothing against her character, but rather to the way she was used. Claire is pretty much used to show that Carmy is unable to have normal healthy romantic relationships. But I already knew that from everything the show told us about Carmy before introducing Claire, so I feel like the show is treating me like a child by talking down to me and repeatedly pointing out the obvious. In the end, Claire is reduced to being a completely unnecessary story vehicle to tell us something we already knew, with no agenda of her own.

So yeah, as you can tell, it’s been a very rough watch. I definitely do NOT recommend The Bear to anyone. Do yourself a favor and stay well away.

[quinloki]

Reading your response about Leatherbound - I am amused that we're both like "yes arranged Kid marriage that he wants no part of bc arranged marriage" and yet despite that at the core, they're going to be so different. (That one's not even on my WIP list yet because it doesn't have a folder, it's just on my "bingo board")

That's such a fun part of fics with similar core ideas honestly, just how different they can be despite having that common thread. I feel like you could get a group of people and be like "here's the core idea" and end up with a dozen totally different works.

Oh Absolutely!

The soul of a story is in the details. It's in the different ways you can describe emotions, in motions, in how even with the same author you may never see a kiss described exactly the same way twice. Texture, emotion, scent, need, perspective - only one thing needs be different and the entire tone can change.

Even if you have "Yandere Kid Pirates in Canon Universe" - there's dozens of ways to write. Never mind the differences between x reader and x OC possibilities, but canon x canon too, and all the variables within that. From the most deliciously sweet story to the most nail bitingly terrifying one.

Endings you survive, and endings that you don't. Words and moments and transitions from one to the next.

I could read a thousand vampire AUs and never find one like what I'm writing, and maybe I find a few that get close, and a few that make me think I could've done that in my own version, but I didn't - and it doesn't matter how similar two stories are, as long as both are written from the heart of the respective author they will be different.

And I love it.

I hate "there's no original ideas" as some kind of negative. There's a dozen different version of Treasure Island, and Treasure Island probably wasn't even the first. Same with Cinderella, etc. You can distill any story down into something that's "been done before", but you can't lay all the flaws and pleasures of that story over top another and match them up.

That's the pleasure. That's the joy. That's the sheer delight that drives creation.

And the only thing, in my opinion, that tops it, is writing something and having someone read it and then reach out to me and say:

"This inspired me, and this is what I did because of it."

[infinitenthq]

hello dears !! 

we’ve made it to the official end of the infinite tour and i can’t thank you all enough for contributing so much to our longevity to get to this point. i’ve had a lot of worries when we had to revamp in the beginning but you guys really helped me and the group out a lot, more than you realize. i treasure each one of you and i’m excited to be able to bring in this next phase of infinite for you all so we can continue to write and make more memories with each other ♡ so under the read more, i’d like to let you guys in on the update infinite will be getting !

because infinitetourhq is kinda like our own very special brand, i'm considering keeping our name as is but i'm still open to maybe taking out the tour bit and i can save it for if we all want to do another tour, so let me know any thoughts about that !

the plot will transition into life in the company, thus making it a company rp but we wanted to add a twist to spice it up so because infinite entertainment is very full of themselves,, they're making a reality show ! i think it'll be fun if we have weekly confessionals or something (and huge thanks to kip for that idea, give them lots of love for their kindness in letting me use their creativity like this !)

i will be adding another girl group ! it's been asked about so many times and i'm happy to provide more idol girlies,, was waiting for a good time to do so

was also asked about allowing a fourth muse ! and because i know it was asked from a member personally, i am considering it. although before i get too far with it, i'd like to see more plotting and interactions going. if you see a muse that hasn't made an appearance on your plots page or any threads going, please do reach out to that mun ♡

i'll also be adding in more staff positions too since we're staying put in the infinite ent. building; producers, creative team roles, maybe even higher up roles if that would be interesting to anyone ?

and yes, i believe i've covered everything !! if anyone has questions,, i'd be happy to answer. and if anyone has any suggestions for any fun stuff we can do, please do share ! you guys know i'm always open to your amazing ideas and feedback.

thank you guys again !!

[worldiary]

Thanks to @floating-through-everyday for recommending I try this tutorial for my second crochet project. The results are in:

I'm quite proud of it! My goals were:

Finish the remaining yarn from my first crochet project. ✅

Have a set pattern for a long period. (Compared to the doily where things changed frequently) ✅

Practice maintaining consistent tension? 🤷

Learnings:

Having a set pattern for a long period is fun. You get into a flow state and it makes it easy to crochet on public transit or in a chatting group.

I like crocheting best when I'm multitasking-- listening to a podcast or on public transit or something. Having a set pattern is boring if it's the only thing you're doing.

I like having both video & written instructions. Video tutorials are great because you can scrutinize how to do something easily. But once you get past the learning phase, you need a written tutorial when you need to quickly check "is it 3dc or 5dc?".

Having a useful goal is motivating. With this, my goal was to use up the thread. I thought it would let me quit midway if I got bored. And it would let me perfect my skills instead of worrying about messing up a large complex piece. I stand by this choice intellectually. Though I'm not sure I got that much better by the end? You'll notice my edges are all curly compared to the tutorial. Anyway, once I got the hang of the pattern, I started thinking "what am I doing this for? What will this be used for?". You pour too much time and energy into these things to want a useless strip of lace at the end.

For my next project...I think I'm ready for some kind of attire? Maybe a vest or something? Something beginner-friendly that is still useful. Or a little toy I can give as a gift 🤔. Lmk if folks have suggestions!

[secretgamergirl]

My weird relationship with profile pictures

So I saw this making the rounds the other day, and felt maybe just a little targeted because... mine’s kinda similar.

I have kind of a complicated relationship with this sort of thing. I started this blog uh... pushing a decade ago, at a time I otherwise WAS NOT out as trans to literally anyone, and surrounded by people I (unfortunately quite correctly) guessed would have a huge problem with it when I did come out. So here, I had absolutely no identifying info of any kind, profile pic included, and was just hunting information on transitioning resources. My oldest posts explaining this have been long since nuked too since, well, I’ve gotten more paranoid over the years.

When I started up a Twitter account back in the day, more or less exclusively to link articles on here to a hopefully wider audience, same deal. Back then if you didn’t set a profile picture you just got this egg on a random colored background. Pretty sure I ended up with a violet background and you know, the egg wasn’t bad iconography for my purposes. And people absolutely HATED this because turns out at the time people would mass-register burner accounts and make no effort so you’d have a stalker and just get this whole pile of angry eggs in your feed, then maybe me saying something friendly and weirding you out.

So people were pressuring me to switch over to literally just anything, which I was tempted to consider, but while I was pondering that, there was this other pseudonymous-for-safety trans girl I knew who was almost as paranoid as I was, but had a real avatar. This one funny picture of a dog... and uh, she got doxed based on that alone. It was something like she ran a server for something else, that dog image was saved to that machine somewhere, some shot in the dark stalker-y tied it to a profile on that site, and from there unraveled that thread enough to get her legal name, I think her address even, and started really raining serious hell down on her. So that scared me the hell out of making a change.

I did since loosen that policy up a little, and started using profile pictures over there if anyone was sufficiently bothered by the one I had to just post something else and demand I swap it in. Did that a couple times, then had the added problem of people who’d provided earlier ones being upset I was using something else. Sorry about that by the way.

Anyway, this is still kinda the way I live my life. I don’t show any of myself if I can help it. I can’t recall ever uploading photos of myself anywhere, nor videos. Beyond letting a few vague facts slip, like, you know, being some absolutely gigantic trans woman, I don’t let personal details out, and I don’t use profile pictures anywhere, unless someone actively suggests one. And I still get constantly stalked and harassed even with that.

Somewhere along the line people got frustrated by the lack of info on me, made a bunch up, started circulating that, and like, going so far as to “issue corrections” to stuff like game credits sites that correctly had the name I’ve used professionally for as far back as anyone’s going to want to look up, convincing them to change it to whatever random BS they pull off some sketchy website or other, and while that’s actually a serious problem for me when I’m looking for work and have to explain to people looking up previous projects why they find some other person’s name in place of mine, I also get rather unfortunately frequent sneak peeks of the sort of violent stalker crap I’d be dealing with if they had real leads. Photos taken of random houses, anonymous messages that are all like “I know you’re really Albert Zuckerman” or whatever with some rando’s photo embedded, “found you” with arrows drawn pointing at random people in group photos, crap like that. It’s always kind of relieving to confirm they’ve all tricked each other so thoroughly, but the version of that I’d get if there were real things to go on I’d really prefer to keep living without.

So, you’re stuck with the sleepy triangle. At least until someone goes out trophy hunting fascists with enough gusto the rest go into hiding, or someone hooks me up with some kinda like private high security mansion with on-site security or something. Sorry if you don’t like seeing it?

[mcrcki]

well, that sure was a scream of a time !! but now that the vampiric dust has settled, and the ten hour loop of the monster mash has been switched to ‘closing time’ i think it’s about right to get a post event plotting / starter call going !! like always, my rules are super simple : like for a plotting dm !! and then SPECIFY characters for the starters or like deadass i will not write it! the cap is four per writer !! i just wanna make sure i get to write with everyone!! 

** please note that i am more than happy to keep event threads, transition them or write them out for a little bit longer before switching them over! or just start something new!! i lowkey don’t remember all of the threads that i had pre event since i cleared those out before we started, so if you wanna drop something feel free, i will decide as i see each one posted what the vibe is !!! 

but y’all know the drill , below is too much information and me thinking i’ve got jokes about each of my babes after the halloween masquerade massacre!

daniela dimitrescu || resident evil : village  - ( 0 / 5 )

she/they pronouns. daniela’s review : “best party i’ve been to in so long, but your monsters could have been more durable. 4 out of 5 stars. will be back to steal the white house as my own home.” literally had such a blast and is more than a little bummed when the doors finally unlocked. will be vibing, looking for more victims, maybe find a girlfriend, who knows.

please let them flirt with you, they might leave you alive if you do :)

leia organa || star wars - ( 1 / 5 )

she/her pronouns. WORST. BIRTHDAY. EVER. and also the biggest flop of a honeymoon to date. baby girl is down bad now, if y’all thought she was all in in the sith before, it’s 10x worse now after what happened with han. any conversation with her rn?? doomed to fail. she will be inconsolably furious. i am so sorry for the somehow more rancid vibes from coming from the oval office.

han solo

marlene mckinnon || harry potter : marauders era ( 0 / 5 )

she/her pronouns. alright, she’s not afraid to say it. the white house should be barred from ever throwing parties again. this is what?? the third time something like this has happened?? absolutely never again. free drinks at mckinnon’s for anyone who went to this thing. the bar is open and marlene is gonna be going back to normal life with her now complete again friend group and pretending she’s not gonna fight every death eater she sees, but absolutely will be doing that.

free starter?? free shots. respond below

omega archeron || star wars : the bad batch ( 1 / 5 )

she/they pronouns. omega’s down !! bad !! you thought they were a mess after this whole messy breakup / acting out bc of their brothers hiding their genetic identity??? just wait till you see them after watching hunter die !!!! and being completely helpless to stop it!!!!! welcome to omega’s self destruct era, who wants to be a terrible influence for her!

sion val palpatine

pj halliwell || charmed ‘98 - ( 0 / 5 )

she/her pronouns. unlike the rest of my girls, lowkey ?? kinda thriving. like okay, yes, is she very stressed about the memory status of her family? sure, who wouldn’t be. but she’s got her whitelighter, she’s at least got almost all of her family here??? she actually made it out of this alive and is gonna be doubling down on training. also, got some of those venders numbers before everything went to shit. throwing a “we survived” party, who’s coming!

respond for a clown behavior starter

rowena ravenclaw || harry potter : founders era ( 2 / 5 )

she/her pronouns. not doing great, not doing terrible. will be doing everything she can to throw herself into her work, and to figure out what the hell is going on with the memory magic in this city. if anyone wants to listen to some pepe silva level rants about theories, she will talk your ear off for hours. maybe someone please drag her out so she stops sitting in her office for sixteen hours straight.

orpheus

hunter

sella palpatine || star wars ( 1 / 5 )

she/her pronouns. hey thanks for checking in ! WE’RE HAVING A TERRIBLE TIME. literally please can someone put her family in a fucking fortress or something, she is so tired of seeing the people she loves get hurt. will be attempting to convince her brother she deserves a weapon of some kind. gonna start self defense training or something. if someone wants to help sella learn to fight, hmu

sion val palpatine

sophie hatter || howl’s moving castle ( 4 / 5 )

she/they pronouns. freshly unaware babey 😇 sophie is a little thrown off, is very self conscious of the neck scar they got as a child that has definitely always been there. still running the flower shop, but more hands off, as their main passion is in fashion designing, and uses the flower shop to showcase their designs. aware sophie was more controlled and composed. unaware sophie, very unapologetic in their bluntness. why keep your mouth shut when something annoys you smh.

xie lian

howl jenkins pendragon

prince justin

chihiro ogino

tatum riley || scream ‘96 ( 0 / 5 )

she/her pronouns. this hangover kinda sucks, but at least she made it out alive. will be changing her instagram bio to ‘final girl’ and clinging to that. she actually made it out. that’s what matters. she’s got more family here, and is sort of just looking for something chill. but it has solidified that yeah, she hates halloween and masks. anyone wanna go decorate for christmas already??

new final girl unlocked, let her brag to you!!

victoria sutherland || twilight ( 0 / 5 )

she/her pronouns. pretty fun night, even if she spent most of it absolutely glued to james. she has her mate back and man she’s about to be even more insufferable. still very much looking for some snacks on her way out, or just any casual bites throughout the month. we’re vibing, we’re having fun. we’re fresh, flirty, and thriving. 

who’s looking for a nice bite ;)

[bowie-byers]

Band Fantasy 2.0

Paul Johnson x Cole Montgomery @waldenwritess

Thread #1: Cole's Dingy Y/N Band Fanfic

Paul held the guitar high on his abdomen. The pick guard had fallen off the mahogany body a long time ago – fingers calmly strumming down against a scratchy patch of unvarnished wood. He was gearing up for his last song of the night, bar cheering lightly as he transitioned out of his final original tune. With these occasional solo nights, he preferred to end the evening with a cover – mostly as an ode to the crowd. Dingy bars had a tendency to hum along, which was a nice change of pace from radio silence. “Some of you out there might know this next one.” Paul spoke softly into the microphone, flopping sweaty bangs away from his forehead. He proceeded to move the capo down on the fret of his guitar. It gave him an opportunity to break. “I picked it up while driving down the coast last summer – If you know it, I’d love to hear you sing along.” He caught a drift of pink in the crowd, not entirely registering what it was, but stuck on the colour for a moment longer as he began plucking the intro of Bruce Springsteen’s I’m on Fire. Pub dwellers were slow to recognize it. Paul's cover was even more subdued than the original, without a beat to support gravely vocals. His eyes closed in preparation to sing, chest leaning forward into the microphone stand. “Hey little girl / is your daddy home? / did he go and leave you all alone? / I got a bad desire / oh, oh, oh, I’m on fire.” – A coy smile formed. He peered through bangs obscuring his vision, finally glancing back into the crowd. “Tell me now baby is he good to you? / And can he do to you the things that I do? oh no / I can take you higher / oh, oh, oh, I’m on fire [...]” His sweep of the audience halted as he landed on a group of women singing along by the bar. His eyes fluttered away, once more taken off guard by the distracting mop of pink hair.

Maybe it was the power of sticking out in a sea of mushy colours, but Paul stayed on them for a touch longer. Enough to take in their features - fully making eye contact now. It was comfortable for him. “At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet / and a freight train running through the middle of my head / only you can cool my desire / oh, oh, oh, I’m on fire.” He held the stranger's gaze, head cocking back every so slightly to smirk - and also get a better look. The guy wasn't bad looking. Something about the other guy's stare gave him a hunch that it was mutual. The entire thing felt like a playful game of cat and mouse. He continued to power through the song - intermittently returning to find the splash of pink up until the final chorus. It felt nice for a change. He'd performed enough times to have experiences like these - chest weighed down by a curious pair of eyes in the crowd. It was all very much fleeting, but Paul's emotions always ran higher on stage. It wasn't abnormal for him. He managed to find them one last time before the song tapered off, completely exhausted. Paul muttered a genuine “thank you – have a good night!” to the crowd before darting off the stage to find his hard case by the bar, brain completely overridden with pink. Paul brushed it off as he slid his trusted purple pick between his lips, knees bending to tuck away the instrument.

[jcmarchi]

25 years of cybersecurity evolution: Insights from an industry veteran - CyberTalk

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/25-years-of-cybersecurity-evolution-insights-from-an-industry-veteran-cybertalk/

25 years of cybersecurity evolution: Insights from an industry veteran - CyberTalk

Eric has been working in technology for over 40 years with a focus on cybersecurity since the 90’s. Now serving primarily as Chief Cybersecurity Evangelist and part of the Executive Leadership Team, Eric has been with Atlantic Data Security starting from its inception, filling various roles across the company. He leverages this broad perspective along with his passion, collective experience, creative thinking, and empathetic understanding of client issues to solve and advocate for effective cybersecurity.

In this highly informative interview, Atlantic Data Security Evangelist Eric Anderson reflects on the past 25 years in cybersecurity, discusses important observations, and provides valuable recommendations for businesses worldwide.

In looking back across the past 25 years, what has “wowed” you the most in the field of cybersecurity? Why?

Eric: It’s often taken for granted now, but I used to be absolutely amazed at the pace of things. Not that it’s not still impressive, but I think we’ve all gotten a bit used to the speed at which technology evolves. It’s even more pronounced in our specific field. Cybersecurity may have a somewhat unique driver of innovation, since it’s largely pushed by illicit actors that are constantly searching for new threat vectors. Defenders are forced to invest in developing responses to keep up.

While all areas of tech evolve with amazing speed, most are driven by the constant gradual pressure of consumer desire. Meanwhile cybersecurity has a daily requirement for advancement due to the actions of external forces. We often have to take big leaps into entirely new product categories to respond to new risks.

Can you share insights into the early days of cybersecurity and how Atlantic Data Security was involved with the first firewall installations?

Eric:  My personal journey with Check Point started in the mid 90’s with one of Check Point’s early reseller partners. By 1998 or 1999, our business transitioned from being a network integrator/VAR to a dedicated security shop — primarily selling, installing, and supporting Check Point firewall and VPN solutions. Shortly after that, I became our second certified Check Point instructor to help handle the massive demand for training. I have continued to get more involved with all aspects of Check Point ever since (from the partner side), including taking the helm of the Check Point User Group back in 2014.

One of my favorite aspects of our current company is how many of us have known each other for decades; either working at the same company, as partners, or competitors, and how much of that history shares Check Point as a common thread.

My favorite example is with Kevin Haley, one of the owners of ADS. When I first met him in 2001, he had long since been running the security reseller division of a company called Netegrity. He had been focused primarily on selling and supporting Check Point products from back when their name was Internet Security Corporation — which had the distinction of being Check Point’s first partner in the U.S.

What are some of the key lessons learned via efforts around the first firewall installations and how do they inform cybersecurity strategies today?

Eric:  Back then, we were all learning a lot about security. Many of us had some comprehensive networking experience, but the extent of our “security” exposure was often just a handful of passwords. Our footprint was typically contained within a few buildings and maybe a small group of remote users.

It was amazing to see how rapidly the internet changed our security exposure from local to global. Almost overnight we had to start contending with an entirely new class threats. Forward-thinking companies like Check Point were there to give us the tools we needed, but we had to quickly grow from network engineers to cybersecurity experts. This rapid reshaping of the landscape has never really stopped. Every time things seem to settle down a bit, a new trend or technology, like cloud adoption or the shift to remote work, comes along to shake it up.

Ultimately, we need to remain agile and flexible. We can’t reliably predict the next big change we so need to have buffers in our planning. I think it goes beyond incident planning and is more something like “paradigm shift planning.” What resources do we have available for the next big thing? Having a good handle on current projects and priorities can allow for better optimization of resources.

We saw this with the adoption of VPN almost 30 years ago. Organizations were either using either modems and phone lines or slow, expensive direct connections, like frame relay and T1’s.  While VPN wasn’t a required shift, its was vastly better, reducing costs, improving speed, and enhancing security. Clients who were flexible enough to adopt VPN early reaped significant advantages. Others took much longer to adapt, having to deal with higher costs and more cumbersome operations throughout. While this wasn’t an essential shift to deal with an imminent threat, it clearly illustrated the advantages that organizations can gain by being flexible and the role of cybersecurity in enabling the business to function more broadly.

The CISO role is known for its evolution. Given all of the demands placed on modern CISOs (technology, people management, board-level commitments), does it still make sense to have a single CISO role? How do you foresee the role continuing to evolve? How would you like to see it evolve?

Eric: I recently spoke to a room full of CISOs and others serving similar roles. I asked them two questions: “Who among you will not be held responsible in the event of a breach?” No one raised their hand. “Who among you has all of the necessary power and resources to keep it from happening?” A few hands did go up; all from people working at smaller organizations with relatively flat hierarchies, allowing them more latitude and purview than we see in most mid-sized organizations or larger. But they all agreed that while CISOs bear the massive burden of cyber defense, they aren’t given the budget, staff, authority, or support to keep from buckling under it.

While I’d love to see the role of the CISO change, I fear that the broad interpretation of the title/term is unlikely to shift significantly.

What I really want to see is for security to become part of every department’s structure and culture. It would be great to have security officers within each department; from infrastructure, to desktops, to finance, especially in DevOps, and everywhere else. Those officers could be more in tune with their group’s specific drivers and needs, working closely with them to reach goals, with security as an overarching priority and mandate. A CISO’s role in that environment would be to globalize and unify security efforts across an organization.

I have seen things like this being done in some forward-thinking organizations. Making security a part of all aspects of an organization will only make it stronger.

Given the current pace of technological advancement, how do you anticipate that cybersecurity technology will evolve across the next decade? What are your thoughts about the role of artificial intelligence?

Eric:  That’s a loaded one! There are some clear areas that are already starting to show improvement. Tool consolidation and orchestration solutions have helped manage complexity more effectively than ever. As a field, we’re getting better at cultivating security-conscious cultures in our organization.

One major trend that I hope will continue is progress towards greater accountability. While GRC can feel overreaching and burdensome, when implemented properly, it grants us the freedom to share and use data. Our industry developed so quickly that it was impossible to put guardrails on it. If we look at a more mature industry like transportation or finance, they have rules and regulations that have evolved over a much longer time. While speed limits and safety inspections can seem restrictive, we largely accept them. It’s similar to how rules and regulations allow drivers to share roads with some degree of confidence that their safety isn’t in immediate jeopardy. Companies have repeatedly demonstrated that responsibility and accountability won’t be adopted voluntarily. Painful as they may seem, regulations and standards like PCI, HIPAA, and GDPR have shown some positive movement in this direction.

AI is proving to be an area where this type of governance is essential and welcomed by most. Not to be too flippant, but if science-fiction is any indicator of our potential non-fiction future, as it often is, unchecked, unregulated, unleashed AI could eventually be our downfall.

While it’s a very hot topic right now, and it will continue to reshape the world around us, I don’t subscribe to the idea that it will be a tool used primarily for either good or evil. Experience has shown me that every technological advancement has ultimately provided benefits to both the well-meaning and ill-intended. I may be overly optimistic, but I feel like both sides eventually find ways to leverage the same tools to effectively cancel each other out. One concern is the gap created as each side leverages new tech at a different rate. The time it takes to develop a response is nail-biting.

Another interesting yet frightening advancement may show up in the area of computational power; either true quantum computing or something close to it. As has always been the case, as stronger computing becomes available, it can be used both for data protection and compromise. While both keep pace with each other, a significant leap in computational power may lead to a downside that’s hard to counter: Data captured today, no matter how securely encrypted by today’s standards, would be trivial to crack tomorrow. It’s a major concern, and if I had the answer, I’d be off working up a business plan.

Are there specific threat vectors, such as supply chain vulnerabilities, that you expect to become more prevalent in the near future?

Eric:  I think the most prevalent vector will usually be closely tied to whatever our biggest weakness is. In an odd way, I hope that it continues to change — because that moving target means we’re successfully dealing with our biggest weaknesses, forcing threat actors to change tactics.

Specifically, I think DevOps is an area that needs major improvement — or at least more focus on security. This was recently underscored by a joint CISA/FBI alert urging executives at all levels to work harder to eliminate SQL injection related vulnerabilities.

Identity management and authentication is another area that needs more scrutiny. Weak credentials and unnecessarily elevated access continue to be a leading factors in security breaches. While MFA and stronger rights management can be inconvenient and challenging, they need to be embraced and adopted comprehensively. It’s that one, old, forgotten “test” account that will be exploited.

Back to my hopeful redefining of the CISO role, parts of an organization that don’t recognize security as an essential, integral priority, will continue to expose us. Security as an afterthought, applied with duct tape and followed by prayers, isn’t working.

If you were to select 1-2 meaningful highlights of your career, what would they be and what corresponding lessons can be shared with other cybersecurity professionals?

Eric:  It’s a tough question because I’ve been fortunate enough to have quite a few. I think the seminal moment, however, came as a teenager, before I was able to drive. While my summer job was not technical in nature, I spent a lot of time with our hardware technician. He happened to be out sick one day and I was asked if I could help a customer in need. Thus began a career in IT — once someone agreed to drive me to the customer’s office.

One broad highlight for me has been meeting new people. I’ve had the good fortune to get to know some amazing folks from all over the world, whether I was the one traveling or they were. Interactions with each and every one of them have shaped me into who I am, for better or worse. My advice in that area is not to pass up an opportunity to engage, and when given that chance, to check your ego at the door. My younger self always wanted to be the smartest person in the room. I’ve learned that, while maybe once or twice I was (or was allowed to believe I was), that gets boring and stressful. While I’m still often called on to share my knowledge, experience, opinions, and creative/wacky ideas, I revel in being able to listen and learn from others. I’m happy to be proven wrong as well, because once I have been, I’m more knowledgeable than I was before.

Do you have recommendations for CISOs regarding how to prioritize cybersecurity investments in their organizations? New factors to consider?

Eric:  I find myself repeatedly advising CISOs, not to get sucked into a knee-jerk replacement of technology. It’s easy to point fingers at products or solutions that aren’t “working.” Often, however, the failure is in the planning, execution, administration, or even buy-in. I cry a little on the inside when I learn about aggressive rip-and-replace initiatives that could have been salvaged or fixed for far less money and with much less grief. If the core problems aren’t addressed, the replacement could ultimately suffer the same fate.

I’ve also seen successfully aggressive marketing campaigns lead to impulse purchases of products that are either unnecessary or redundant because an existing solution had that unrealized, untapped capability.

The bottom line is to take comprehensive stock of what you have and to investigate alternatives to all-out replacement. Don’t level the house in favor of a complete re-build just because of a leaky pipe. Of course, if the foundation is collapsing…

Would you like to share a bit about your partnership with Check Point? What does that mean to your organization?

Eric:  Check Point is how I personally cut my teeth in cybersecurity, and therefore will always have a special place in my heart. But at Atlantic Data Security, I’m far from the only one with that long standing connection. It’s almost like Check Point is in our DNA.

Starting with the invention of the modern firewall, continuing for over 30 years of constant innovation, Check Point has been the most consistent vendor in the industry. Many players have come and gone, but Check Point has never wavered from their mission to provide the best security products. I’ve learned to trust their vision and foresight.

As a similarly laser-focused advisor and provider of security solutions and services to our clients, we have complete confidence that properly deployed and maintained Check Point solutions won’t let us or the client, down.

We work with a variety of vendors, providing us with the flexibility to solve client challenges in the most effective and efficient way possible. We always evaluate each need and recommend the optimal solution — based on many factors. Far more often than not, Check Point’s offerings, backed by their focus, research, and vision, prove to be the best choice.

Our commitment to and confidence in this has allowed us to amass an outstanding, experienced, technical team. Our unmatched ability to scope, plan, deploy, support, maintain, and train our clients on Check Point’s portfolio is leveraged by organizations of all types and sizes.

I’m confident that between ADS and Check Point, we’re making the cyber world a safer place.

Is there anything else that you would like to share with Check Point’s executive-level audience?

Cybersecurity is not one department’s responsibility. For every employee, every manager, every executive, and yes, even the entire C-cuite, cybersecurity is everyone’s responsibility.

[charcherry-weekly]

Charcherry Weekly - Issue 183

Hello everyone, this is Mage of Light Nick Card. Peace seems to have returned just in time for February to arrive. The news continues regardless.

Clear Skyes Cubed

On January 30th, Skye Macdonald (all of them) celebrated her birthday. As for her ages, that has been considered indeterminate, due to at least one instance of her living in a timeless realm, and another having forgotten a number of things upon arrival. Regardless, Shutterbug Skye, Train fiend Ms. Macdonald, and Maid of Void Skitis celebrated the special day together with cake, razz berry jam, and a pair of tool guns that can summon and un-summon Perfectly Generic Objects. Green cubes were found all over Gene's garden the next day.

Getting Schooled

Classes have officially started for the Grand University of Time's Bounty in Grand Junctionia. Reportedly, there are 570 students this semester, with 352 taking classes in person, and at least 218 students currently taking their classes online. Much of the teaching staff is currently a set of archive accessing AI descended from The Curator, though less synthetic teachers are expected to add to this initial batch of teachers as time goes on. The great amount of students in the now bustling collage town has lead to a great uptick in local business, with many having arrived from outside of Korous. Local business taxes have made this a boon for the korosian economy, while regulations have made sure that prices aren't too high or too low.

Classified ads

Job opening for the snack stand is still open, contact shinyJiggly for details

The Desertian Transit Authority is hiring new staff for the stations! Do note that most if not all work will likely take place in a dark (but properly lit) realm beyond conventional time and space. Please contact theUnderground for details.

Experts on childhood trauma counseling, rehabilitation, and/or Alternian ecology (still) needed! Contact artificedAttendant for details if you have any of the individual credentials listed, or something of a similar nature.

Do you want an ad here? Contact lavenderSiren to get an ad for whatever. If you don't write it yourself, you risk the newsletter writer writing it instead, do be warned.

This week’s known market stands in Desertia Town:

DTA train ticket stand

Katie’s potion stand (Not available to plitlanders due to regulations, available to all others however, ran by CaFAI)

shinyjiggly pokesnacks stand (ran by Rufus)

Candy conversation heart stand

Brae's produce stall: - Potted vegetables - Jarred vegetables - Various jams - Hisuian herbs (medicinal leek, pep-up plant, king's leaf)

Food trucks in Grand Junctionia this month:

Mondo Malasadas

Fish tacos

Bug Burgers

Steakfruit Salads

Space Ramen

Potato Mochi

Shaved Ice

Okay, I think that covers it. Most of the group has been trying to recover still. Further details are best kept private regarding that. In less secret news though, there's been recent progress on left beef, as well as my current game project. Changing the graphics scope was definitely what it needed, and now I'm roughly at the same spot I was, but with more planning. Not sure how long it'll take, but I'm hoping maybe to shoot for a 4/13 release, if possible. Regardless, I need my sleep soon. https://letssosl.boards.net/thread/418/charcherry-weekly-issue-183

[yellowocaballero]

What Is A Character?

This is not writing advice. This is a highly truncated version of a manifesto. I am correct. I have solved the mystery of a hundred Tumblr fights, thousand comic book forum threads lasting for three hundred pages. I'm just right.          

A while back somebody mentioned that I had a pretty unique take on Tim Drake, a comic book character with a thousand characterizations. I ended up talking a little bit about ‘how to write a comic book character’, and how amorphous the definition of a character really is. Or, really, how ill-defined the ontology of a 'characterization' is. After rereading a lot of Batman comics in preparation for The Batman movie, and this deeply unfortunate Moon Knight thing, I’d like to revisit it. I am speaking predominantly in terms of comic books, since they’re definitely the easiest example for this, but you could apply this whole bag to a lot of different situations (Star Wars is almost as bad as comics) and maybe characterization as a whole. Nobody asked for this, but this is my blog and opinions were made to be heard (this is 90% of my problem). I swear I will try to make this as short as possible while still arguing my point, but my point will need to be argued.

The central question is this: what is a true, real character? The conclusion I eventually reach in this essay is will sound like bullshit but you will understand that I am correct. Rest under the cut.

The absolute inherent nature of any media that lasts for a stupid long time, has a stupid amount of different creators and creative teams, and passes between different owners and mediums like hot potatoes, is that it will be contradictory. Even without the insane continuity issues of Star Wars, comic book writer Michael will outright retcon Henry’s backstory for Wonder Girl because Michael fucking hates Henry. James fucked Henry’s wife so Henry will write in a character that James created and then murder them gruesomely. Geoff Johns is there. All of this means that everybody, from the execs to the creators to the fan content creators to the fanbase, ultimately do have decide who Batman/Obi-Wan/Sherlock Holmes ‘really is’. This is important – it decides the future of a character.

 It’s not the origin story of the character. It’s not decided by who created the character (Otherwise everybody here would love Miles Morales for who Bendis wrote him as, instead of himself in ITSV – and they really don’t). I think the answer to this question is determined by consensus from every group I just listed. It’s what people, basically, agree on. Which means that a character’s true character is the character that everybody thinks they are.

Point One: The Power of the Disney

The first way this can be determined is, basically, by their most popular incarnation. I say Hawkeye and you think of Fraction/Aja Hawkeye. I say Tony Stark and you think MCU. I say Sherlock Holmes and you think of the book Holmes if you’re embittered by the BBC version and you live spitefully and you think the BBC version if you aren’t. I say Vic Sage as the Question and you think of the JLU version, which comes from the Denny O’Neil 1980s version, which has nothing to do with the character’s origins as a shitty objectivist mouthpiece. The Question, as a character, just is not a Randian, even if he was created that way. He’s a quirky conspiracy theorist. That’s who he is, because that’s the guy who pops into your head. You’d argue with me if I said he was a Randist. The people reading this who actually know the Question is are probably shocked by the Randist thing.

This can apply by transitive property too – I say Teen Titans and you think of the baller 2005 cartoon, right? That was based off the Wolfman/Perez 1980s TT. I wouldn’t call 2005 TT the ‘real’ TT, I’d call Wolfman/Perez the real TT – because it created the 2005 one, and was also hugely influential in creating a soapy teen drama comic book scene. It’s marked by influence. Nobody gave a shit about Thor before MCU Thor, so he’s Thor now – how influential was 1970s Journey into Mystery?

So the first idea is that the ‘real character’ of a comic character can change through runs or mass media becoming very prominent and making that characterization the most prominent in people’s minds. The second idea is that this change can happen more gradually through a cultural or reception-based shift.

Point Two: Drift Compatibility

Harley Quinn has changed a lot as a character from Batman: The Animated Series. She had a few interesting quirks, but she was really 100% a bad guy. I can put maybe the genesis of her more modern understanding in the Injustice comic, which presented basically a more interesting and intelligent and well-rounded feminist Harley. The fan reception was positive, the creators wrote that kind of Harley more and more, the fanbase reacted positively, the fanbase reacted negatively to Suicide Squad until she was rewritten into the BOP version, and through fan reception and gradual shift we get the #feminist we have today.

You can also say very much the same about Deadpool. I grew up on the 90s Deadpool and Deadpool & Cable, and the drift into the modern guy has actually been pretty insane for reasons too long to list here (he tortured Blind Al?). Reception to the Deadpool you’re thinking of was just better, and the Deadpool movie basically cemented that idea of Deadpool in popular consciousness.

Sometimes this change happens very suddenly, like with Fraction/Aja's Hawkeye, but sometimes it is a result of trial and error decided by fan reception and the zeitgeist of the times and the comic book tone. 90s Deadpool does not fit in '20s comics. BTAS Harley Quinn would receive some boos for being defined by her abusive boyfriend. These things change with culture, comic book fads & zeitgeists, and fans liking a character so much in one way that the creators wire them more and more that way.

So that’s the second idea: that the drift can happen within books through fan reception, and is eventually reflected in mass media and cements the personality until we cycle back into the first idea.

Point Three: The Inmates Run The Asylum

The third idea is a really logical extension of this: that the fandom and fanon version of the characters can grow to eclipse any characterization from 1) or 2), and that when this fan interpretation of a character becomes so rampant it becomes the new ‘consensus’ of the character. Batman can defeat anyone with enough prep time. Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are unproblematic girlbosses. Spider-Gwen became so popular and such a big character solely through her pretty dope design that got super popular and went viral on the internet. If you cut out the middle man of the mass media and canon comics, then you have the fandom creations.

This drift is making its way into the mainstream. I won't talk here about fandomization of media, but the fanon characterizations and tropes are starting to enter Point #2 territory: that is, creators are realizing that the fandom plots and tropes are what people want, and they're creeping into the mainstream. The Webtoon Wayne Family Adventures is the greatest example of this, anywhere. That Webtoon is a million fanfics brought to life, and it's helping cement those fanfic dynamics and characterizations into 'the real Batfam' - to the point where the traditional comics Batfam is being dismissed as 'not real'.

Memes are intensely powerful, here! Every comic fan from around ten years ago knew the Squirrel Girl can defeat everybody meme. Now she has a comic and she’s pretty famous, through sheer memery. Sometimes a ‘true character’ can be derived solely from their meme status, if there is truly nothing better or nothing else to the character. Sometimes meme status can give them a book, which fleshes them out and makes a real character out of it. Virality is a huge force, and when a character goes viral then businesses jump on it and recreate what people liked about it as quickly as possible - and, sometimes, as influentially as possible.

Part Five: If You Agreed With My Other Points You Have To Admit That I Am Correct

 So, logically. When you ask the question ‘what’s Moon Knight’s real characterization before the MCU show, which is pretty clearly a huge deviation from the comics and his comic self?’...and if you are a Moon Knight fan I'm very sorry about this...you're valid, alla youse are valid...

You see that nobody really gives a shit about Moon Knight. He has never had an influential run. Barely anybody had heard of him before the show. Nobody can list a single thing about the guy. Nobody’s read a single Moon Knight comic. The only panel from Moon Knight that I’m willing to bet the vast majority of this website has seen, that everybody thinks is real, that is 100% of what they know about Moon Knight, is this joke meme panel. That is Photoshopped. (If you didn’t know it’s Photoshopped, now you do – the other joke Moon Knight Panels you’ve seen are also photoshopped). This is not a real image from the comics. However, taking into account everything else I've said...

This meme Photoshop one panel image of Moon Knight is the definitive, true, actual comics Moon Knight goodbye everybody I’m right and nobody can change my mind.

[writefightandflightclub]

Trial by Fire (Part 1/3) Santiago “Pope” Garcia x GN reader

Summary: You’re finally introducing your new boyfriend to The Boys. It must be intimidating for your guy because, hello? Not only are they literally lethal, as well as infeasibly handsome, but they’re hella protective of you to boot. They want the best for you so, naturally, they make your guy run the gauntlet the whole evening. Santiago, though? Well. Given that he is secretly in love with you? Let’s just say he doesn’t handle the situation very well at all.

Genre / tropes: angst, friends to lovers, love confession.

Author’s note: I wasn’t planning on writing this (in fact I’m writing the opposite, where “Santi has a new girlfriend and you don’t take it well” as a series, loosely based around the 7 deadly sins); but, in the meatime, I wrote this to get back into the swing of things after a lil break. It’s just a quick one, but there will be a second and final part, if you want it! Let me know!

Word count: somehow, 4.4k.

Warnings: language, angst, best friends arguing, Santi being an asshole.

Rating: T

The boys aren’t being as awful as you had anticipated, at least. For the most part, they’re actually being pretty friendly, and although they’ve transitioned into grilling Dean about every aspect of his life, they are at least listening intently and smiling at his answers. All except for one fucker, of course; and, naturally, surprising no-one, the fucker misbehaving is one (1) Santiago “Pope” Garcia. 

The group - the boys, yourself, and Dean- are huddled comfortably around the blazing warmth of the fire pit in Frankie’s yard. The dancing, oranged flames cut through the dark and cold of the crisp night, as you sit upwind of the smoke on scattered, mis-matched camp chairs.

Whilst the others are evidently enjoying the evening -faces painted with smiles, body language open and leaning-in to chat to Dean- that fucker Santi is leaning back in his chair, his jaw twitching in seeming aggravation, his arms folded, and his intense eyes needling your beau. In this dim light, with the firelight licking over the sharp planes of his face, he looks every bit like a trained killer about to leap out of the shadows and garotte someone. Well… a very petulant trained killer. His call sign should have been Mr. Grumpy Pants, you think idly.

What’s up with him this time?! you wonder.

He gets these moods sometimes. And, when it strikes him, he can be a little bit hostile - despite the fact he’s a puppy underneath it all. You had hoped that for once, maybe he would suck it up, and yet, your hopes had been in vain, it seems.

Every time Dean speaks, or touches you, or even laughs at another of the guys’ stories, Santi’s expression sinks further and further through layers of distaste; and, by this point, he’s eyeing Dean as though he’s a war criminal the squad have been sent to take-out. You half expect him to leap up and take down Frankie any second for fraternizing with “the enemy”, if you’re honest.

Truth be told, you’ve had just about enough of this. Your friend had better buck his ideas up, sharpish, or he’d be reminded very swiftly that you were Delta Force too.  

For now, trying to ignore the bastard, you look back at Dean, and the sight of him in animated conversation with your buddies causes at least some of your aggravation to fall away. Things have been going well between you and Dean, even if you do say so yourself. Originally from Michigan, he now worked as a lecturer at a nearby music school. He was also a banjo musician in a bluegrass / synth power-pop mash-up of a band, which (sort of) explained his retro-inspired mop of brown hair and his thick dark moustache - majestic enough to rival Frankie’s. True, he wasn’t your usual type, but he was honest, and sweet and kind... Plus, he’d never killed anyone with his bare hands, which was rather refreshing too, if you were honest.

Safe to say, so far, things were working out. So well, in fact, that you’d recently met his parents for the first time while they were in town. So well, in fact, that -after keeping him purposefully away from the boys for as long as you feasibly could- you’d now brought him to meet your family. That’s what this squad was to you, after all. Your family.

Remembering sporadic moments from the past few months together, you smile gently as you listen to Dean talk. You watch him seamlessly integrate some tailored conversation starters you’d fed him ahead of time, and you gently squeeze his thigh in an act of reassurance and appreciation. He is feeling the pressure, you can tell, although he is handling it well. To be fair, you think, who wouldn’t feel the pressure? You’d been nervous enough to meet his parents, but this? A bunch of Delta Force guys and an MMA champion? This squad was lethal; literally -you’ve lost track of your combined kill count, though Will probably hasn’t, you are sure.

Aside from that though, most of all, they are your family. You need them to like Dean and vice versa, and you know that isn’t necessarily a given. You are a tight-knit group, with little hope of outsiders grasping the full extent of your decade’s old in-jokes, or the intense camaraderie instilled by facing a hail of bullets together. Plus, as the baby of the group, they were protective as all hell of you.

It came from a good place, you knew: they wanted what was best for you. But, there was a reason you’d delayed this meeting... It’s not as though they were threatening or anything. They didn’t do the whole “if you hurt our buddy, I’ll kill you” thing, for example (at least, not while you were present – you couldn’t vouch for what happened when you were out of earshot).  However, after introducing a succession of boyfriends to them over the years, the squad had developed a well-rehearsed system for sizing-up your new squeeze. In the past, not all of your squeezes had made it through the gauntlet. It was a trial by fire, to be sure, and you were pleased that Dean has not yet been burned.

Of course, whilst the boys’ approval didn’t mean everything to you, you couldn’t deny it was important; perhaps especially this time, with this guy. And, out of all of the group, Santi’s approval meant the most to you. Always had. Probably because Santi meant the most to you, full stop. You simply couldn’t imagine having someone in your life that didn’t get on with your best friend. And, so, you are not overly thrilled at the reception Santi is giving Dean right now. The reception he had been giving him all evening, in fact. And the more you dwell on it, the more an anger bubbles forth from you. Even though you try to push it down, and focus on Dean, that fucker in the corner of your eye sends you.

“What’s wrong with you tonight, Garcia?” you blurt out, a little louder than intended, causing the amiable chat and giggles to stall, all eyes turning to you - then, in turn, following the direction of your fiery gaze over to Santi, who shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

Now, he leans forward. Looks back at you with a rare venom in his eyes. With a smug curl of his mouth, he dips to pick up his beer from the floor and takes a swig - buying himself some time. Trying to brush you off. Still, your gaze does not relent as he rests his elbows on his thighs, bridging his fingers together in the space between, thumbs sticking in the air.

Now, he engages, and he looks directly at Dean, his eyes sweeping dismissively over the entirety of his form. Now, he speaks, his voice filled with far more bitterness than the situation merits. “Nothing at all. I’m fucking peachy. So, Dean. You play the motherfuckin’ banjo?” he offers, and yet, it sounds far more like an accusation than a question.

What the fuck is up with him?

Wilting a little beneath Santi’s stare, as the ex-operative squints his eyes in his direction, Dean casts a helpless, sideward glance at you from his place in the circle, and yet, you are so stupefied by anger that you can do little to help.

“I think what my dear friend means to say -” Frankie dips in valiantly, smacking Santi pointedly on the thigh, likely hoping to smack some sense into him too “- is why don’t you tell us more about your music, Dean?”

Frankie’s eyes and smile are soft when he looks at you, surreptitiously exchanging a pointed look -what’s up with that pendejo?- and you are grateful that at least some of the evident tension is diffused when he picks up the slack in the conversation.

Santi and his mood swings be damned, and, feeling bolstered, Dean continues on.  

“Actually, it’s going pretty frickin’ well with the band. It’s a side-gig to my lecturing job, but we’re planning a tour during summer vacation. The States -east coast- and Western Europe for now. Maybe headlining a couple of small festivals, if that pans out, who knows.” Dean relates, humbly.

“That’s great, man,” Will chips in, helping Frankie get things back on track. “We’ll have to come down to a gig soon, hear you play.”

“Actually, we have something to tell you about the tour, don’t we, babe?” Dean says bashfully, and he looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to pick-up the thread. You’d talked about it before coming today, and it had seemed like a great idea at the time, but suddenly, now that the announcement is imminent, your mouth is dry - as if filled with cotton. Still, you force a smile, and you’re not sure why, but you look anywhere else but at Santi as your lips form the words. “Yeah – kinda big news, fellas. I’m going to join Dean on the Europe leg of the tour. I’ll be leaving you losers behind for a few months.”

Dean’s face cracks into a smile and he reaches for your hand, looking made-up at the prospect. Still, while you will yourself to be fully present in the moment, you find yourself focussed on looking anywhere but at Santi, sure that his stare must be boring into the side of your head. You hadn’t told him yet. Unfortunately, at Santi is where just about everyone else ends up looking, as the fucker abruptly pushes his camp chair back and stands, storming indoors before anyone can hope to fathom it.

You exchange glances with Frankie, Will, and Benny, with Benny thankfully stepping-in this time to distract Dean from the obvious, and asking him which stops you two will be making, and which sights you plan to see.

“Look, man, don’t mind that tool. Got any sightseeing plans?”

What is Santi’s problem? Why can’t he give Dean a chance? Yes, you’ve made some mistakes in the past- been hurt, and Santi had helped you pick up the pieces -every time- but you had a good feeling about Dean. A really good feeling. Can’t he see that too?

Frankie throws a concerned glance back towards the house and motions as if to stand, but you beat him to it, wanting to get to the bottom of this. “I’ll go,” you insist, motioning for Frankie to stay put, and with a quick promise to Dean that you’ll be back soon (and a silent plea to your boys to take care of him in your absence), you do just that, walk-jogging across the grass.

When you step inside to the kitchen, you find Santi stood, hunched over the counter, his palms clasping the surface tight enough that his knuckles pale, and his head hung low, his shoulders rising and falling as he takes in exaggerated breaths.

“Well?” you ask pointedly, with zero tolerance for his bullshit. “What’s going on with you? Wanna explain why you’re being an ass to my boyfriend?” you challenge to the back of him, and he instantly whips around at the sound of your voice. 

“I’m being an ass?” he asks indignantly, his eyebrows shooting towards the top of his head. 

“Yes. In a nutshell. Yes,” you hiss, any other interpretation feeling impossible. You fold your arms and purse your lips, making it plainly evident that you are waiting for some explanation. And, oh boy, it had better be good.

Instead of explaining though, Santi simply huffs out breath, gesturing angrily out of the window. “That guy, really? That’s the guy you’re gonna go all in for? Go to fucking Europe for?”

That guy, you mouth silently, completely stupefied for a moment. You’re not sure exactly what your so-called friend is insinuating, but you are clear that you don’t like it one bit.

“What is your fucking problem?” you ask, punctuating your words with motions of your hands, as if you are trying to strangle the air in-between you in lieu of his neck. “Dean’s a catch. He’s hot, he’s sweet, he’s a nice guy. He’s there for me. He takes care of me.”

“Like I don’t take care of you?!” Santi exclaims, his voice rising and abrasive; and then, immediately after the words tumble forth from his lips, he steps back imperceptibly, as if startled by his own outburst, his hand rasping over the stubble on his chin.

“What in the...? This isn’t about you, you ass!” you bite back, face scrunching up in confusion. Your fingers come to your temples as you grow increasingly lost-off and perplexed, and seemingly, your riposte only makes Santi double down on whatever the hell he is complaining about.

“Who’s the one who’s always been there for you, hmm? Who picks up the pieces every time you make yet another dumb shitty choice with another shitty guy?” he rambles, gesturing his hand towards you dismissively.

You step back from him this time, just a little, tears spiking instantaneously in your eyes at such an unnecessarily cruel blow. He’s right, in a sense: you had always relied on Santi to heal you, not to hurt you - and yet here he was dealing these painful, incoherent blows out of nowhere.

“Shit, Garcia. If it’s that much trouble to be there for me don’t bother next time,” you snap, your voice breaking as the swell of anger and hurt and adrenalin sends tears spilling over your cheeks. “Don’t worry though, I don’t think I’ll need you again. In fact, I have a feeling this guy might stick. So, maybe? Maybe you should think about the fact that the only shitty guy around here is you.” 

“You really think he’s good enough for you, hmm? He’s really who you want to end up with?”

You listen, aghast, as his tirade keeps coming. However, as Santi’s voice breaks with emotion part-way through his second question, you can’t explain it, but you feel an intolerable sadness in the pit of you. Even though you’re not sure what’s causing all this, what you’re barrelling toward, you want to thrust this sadness away from you. Push him away from you.  You want to push away the knot in your stomach for fear that if you tug at that thread, you might arrive at an answer to his question.

Exasperated, overwhelmed, you roughly paw tears from your cheeks, not knowing where all of these feelings are coming from, in either direction. “Fuck, I... I don’t understand what this is. I don’t get it!” you say, waving your hands, palms-up, through the air. “Is this some macho bullshit? Have I pissed you off somehow?”

At that, the wave of Santi’s anger crests and breaks; as you wonder if you annoyed him. Then, as suddenly as his anger came it is waning, his eyes pooling with rare tears now. With a huff of breath he tears off his damn cap, tossing it aside to run a hand through his grizzled hair. 

“No. No,” he backtracks a little, palms up in surrender. “You haven’t... I.... I just...” He pinches his lips in-between his teeth and looks up at the ceiling as his words trail off, perhaps trying to steady his voice before continuing. Or, perhaps he has nothing else to say to you. Perhaps he’s said enough.

You examine him. Still pissed as all hell, but worried now too, and ultimately, your love for your best friend slightly edging-out the anger. It’s rare that anything affects him like this, and you can’t help the sudden rush of concern.

Cresting too, you exhale a tightly held breath into the now silent, taut space between you, and your body sags - just a little. You chew over your words a moment, but when your voice comes back the volume is lower, your tone softer - and, although it cannot be considered friendly, by any stretch, it’s the best you can do right now.

“You know what,” you offer, generously, wrapping your arms around your own middle, stroking your forearms with your own fingertips. “I’m giving you a pass. You don’t even want to give Dean a chance? Then just leave, Santi. Just go. I’ll give the guys some bullshit excuse that doesn’t leave you looking like a total ass, because I’m not a dick to my friends. So just go, okay?” You pump your eyebrow at him indignantly and await a response, your manner stiff and unyielding.

Santi closes his eyes and knits his brow together, something like regret finally passing over his face and he shuffles guiltily from foot-to-foot.

You puff out air through your teeth and shake your head, as you observe this Delta Force hero; the bravest man you know in many ways, but still too cowardly to tell it like it is. To admit that he’s in the wrong. You are afraid to say that even as his gaze comes back to you, misty-eyed, you have little sympathy for his plight. You are sure it is of his own doing. You are almost as sure that he won’t open-up.

“You know,” you begin, breaking from your position and gathering up a fresh cooler of beers from the fridge, turned away from him as you speak. “I brought Dean to meet my family. Do you understand that? I didn’t have parents and siblings for him to meet. I have you guys. You’re my family.”

Still nothing. Nothing but silence greets you. Nothing but a pained expression on his face, his brows drown together and the artificial light of the kitchen highlighting the harsh planes of his face as you look over your shoulder at him, waiting for some reaction. Some admission of guilt. None comes. He simply slots his hands into his jean pockets, looking sheepish.

“So,” you continue, greeted with a brick wall, “fuck knows why you don’t want me to be happy, but I am. I’m happy with him. Thanks a ton for shitting all over that.”

You don’t even bother to look towards him this time, instead placing the last of the clinking, condensation-adorned bottles into the carrier, resigned to head back out without him, and without any apology.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, and your head whips towards him in surprise.

He looks it - sorry. He looks apologetic. Deeply so. He looks sorry for this, for every way he’s ever slighted you, for every time he’s hurt you, even in ways and moments you never knew about. He looks sorry down to the pit of him, and it catches you off-guard when you see it freely offered there in his eyes.

Even so, this is a stubborn man. There’s an apology, but there’s no explanation. Nothing to explain his behaviour. So, even though it seems genuine, it also doesn’t seem like enough.

It doesn’t appease you, and yet, all you can bring yourself to do is sigh deeply.

You know Santi better than anyone, but there’s always been a part of him that has seemed out of reach, even to you. You’re not sure -never have been- whether to be scared or excited by those unknown parts of him. Not sure whether the impasse hints at buried secrets too dark and deep to bear, or whether it hints of a possibility of something more. Something deeper or something better you could have together, if only he would let you in. You don’t know, and you never have, but all you are sure of is that you have constantly teetered on the edge of that abyss, too much left unknown to know all of him, however much you may have wished to. He’s entitled to his secrets, of course, but you hate how they hurt him. 

With a little sympathy now, you examine his watery eyes, and when your voice comes back this time, it is softer and slower than you intended. More tired than you expected.

“You know, Dean wants to be with me. And he tells me so.” You casually dip down to pick-up the cooler handle, eyes still fixed on your best friend. “He might not be Delta Force… he might be a banjo player from Michigan… but even he’s brave enough for that.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Santi says, bristling all over again, his hand rasping angrily over his stubbled jaw, and yet, you decline him an explanation. Instead, keeping your own secrets now, holding back, you head towards the door, beers in hand.

Still, you turn back to him. You might be angry, but you still care for him -more than you could say. 

“If you figure out what’s up with you, let me know, and I’ll be there for you. Whatever you’ve got going on, you know that, right? But this? This isn’t okay, Garcia. You might think that I make dumb choices -you ass, by the way- but I’ve watched you hit self-destruct so many times instead of dealing with your feelings. Maybe you should look at your own life, huh, instead of shitting all over me for trying to be happy? Shit, at least I fucking try.”

His eyes shift from side to side in the room, the muscles in his jaw twitching, chin jutting forward, and his thumbs locked in his belt loops. He can’t quite bring himself to meet your gaze; at least not until you are disappearing through the threshold; until it’s almost too late. Why can’t he ever manage anything unless it’s too late?

“Wait!” he pleads, but you cut him off, before he can speak. Even though, truth be told, you’re not sure he would muster anything to say at all, even if you gave him a chance. He’s so used to holding back.

“No,” you say firmly. “Forget it, I’m done. I still love you- you’re my best friend. But, fuck, just go home, and get out of my sight, Santiago. I’m so pissed with you right now.”

And so, you turn away, and when his words finally do come, they are spoken to the back of your head. They are spoken without you ever seeing his lips move, and you wonder if he ever said them at all, or if this might be some cruel trick of the night. Some witching hour spell. That is, until you turn towards him and you see the words painted clearly on his face too.

“Fuck it. I’m in love with you.”

I’m in love with you.

Why can’t he ever manage anything unless it’s too late?

You’re not sure what reaction he was expecting, but you almost choke on the sudden lump in your throat. You feel a taste of bile rising-up into your mouth. An intense, resurgent anger fills you, which near makes the room spin, and makes your hands and your legs tremble.

Even if a hidden, unconscious part of you has been waiting, hoping for these words all these years, when they finally come all you can feel is... royally pissed off.

“Oh. No. No. No,” you repeat, words gradually increasing in volume, looking at Santi as if he has mortally wounded you, rather than offered that confession. “You do not get to do this to me.”

You see a hard swallow bob down his throat, a near-instant regret on his face, and your heart pounds in your chest as you reel with the implications of his words.

The coward. The fucking asshole. He waited until now? All the times things had gone to shit, and he waited until you were happy?

“All the times...” you accuse, your tone as bitter as the taste in your mouth, the metallic tang of blood as you feel a rushing in your ears. “All the fucking times. All the chances, Santi, and you do this now?” you continue, your finger sawing through the air, wagging accusations at him, even as your voice wavers, as your hands notceably tremble. “No. Fuck you, Garcia. Fuck you.”

You want to cry, or scream, but you are too angry. So angry, that it eclipses anything else which might come to light. So angry that you almost come full circle again, beginning to stabilise out at eerily calm.

Santi looks down at the floor, and exhales air, chuckling disbelievingly to himself, then lightly nodding his head, lips pressed tightly together. His feet shift agitatedly below him as he brings his endlessly familiar eyes back up to meet yours. This time when he looks at you, it hurts. You remember bullet wounds, and you swear that was nothing compared to this.

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say to me, hmm? Fuck you, Garcia?”

“What the fuck were you expecting?” you say, launching your words before you realise the implications of them. Yes, you know fine well that your boyfriend is sitting outside, likely wondering where you have got to. But, if you had the wherewithall to have thought about it, you would know exactly what Santi was expecting, despite all of that. You would know that a part of him must be expecting, hoping, that when he told you, you might reciprocate. That you might love him back.

And, would that be so outside of the realms of possibility? Would it be so hard to imagine that the deep, magnetic, and unshakeable friendship you shared could be something else? Something more? That you could tip over the edge you had long been teetering on? Maybe it could, or maybe it could have, but right now, you can’t see past the flashbang he has just dropped over your life, and it is clouding your vision.

You were happy. You are happy. Fuck him for doing this now.

Why would you fall into the unknown for him, if you never knew whether he would catch you? If you never knew whether ruin or safety awaited you if you let yourself tip? He always held back.

What the fuck were you expecting?

Your words linger in the space between you, and in lieu of any other lifeline, realisation dawns on Santi’s face. Realisation that, although he jumped, you are not intending to catch him either. But how could you catch him, with your arms already full?

And, so, he slowly nods his head once again, his eyes beading with glassy tears and his hand grazing over his chin in a self-soothing gesture. Wordlessly, he sets his jaw and he abruptly replaces his baseball cap on his head, padding a few steps forward to stand opposite you, sucking all of the breath from your lungs. This time, when he looks at you, you see all of your past, but you still can’t see beyond that. The abyss still scares you too much.

Like this, facing each other down, eye-to-eye, the silence in the room grows sharp as a knife, refined to a point. So, when Santi abruptly turns to leave in a sharp, determined trajectory, without so much as looking at you, it is as if he has dragged the blade across your skin in an equally swift motion. As if he has left you open and bleeding-out, having delivered a mortal wound with the act of his exit. You’ve felt like this on the battelfield before, and in life, yet he was always there for you. Always there to patch you. To pick up the pieces.

Instead of screaming open-mouthed for help, this time, you simply watch him go, and now you are the wordless one, mustering nothing but a gasped inhale of breath before your vision blurs with tears - as you watch his hazy form disappear along the hall and out of your sight.

“Santi,” you call pathetically, your voice small and weak and teary, barely making it past your throat, and he doesn’t hear you. He doesn’t hear you but even if he had, you’re not sure anymore if he would have stopped.

When Santi slams the front door behind him, you shudder with it in its frame, your hand coming to your chest as if to hold your heart inside your opened-up ribs, and you close your eyes against the jarring sound, tears spilling down your cheeks, your face screwing-up into a shined, contorted grimace.

Entirely lost, now alone, you bizarrely wish for the room to be filled with anger again, instead of the intolerable sadness - which all too suddenly takes hold of you as your emotions crest and break. It is all you can do to stumble forward a few paces and hunch over the countertop, finding yourself in the exact position you had discovered Santi in. You stand, bracing yourself with your arms, fingers clutching the edge of the worktop, and your head slumped forward, tears freely spilling out of you as your chest heaves.

You wonder whether he’d held himself in this same position because he had felt an intolerable sadness too. An intolerable sadness at seeing you happy.

Suddenly you could understand it.

That fucker. Santiago “Pope” Garcia.

I’m in love with you.

I’m in love with you.

The words echo in your mind, but this time, if you’re honest, you’re not wholly sure if they’re his, or yours.

PART TWO IS HERE

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 2

The Girls Are Fighting!!!

We return to Aguefort Adventuring Academy where the man himself has just told the Seven Maidens that their party is being split up which they are NOT having even though it doesn’t seem to be a malicious plot so much as the fact that Danielle, Ostentatia, and Zelda are Juniors while the other four are graduating Seniors. Antiope casts Hunter’s Mark on Aguefort, Penny pleads, Katja threatens (well, “threatens”; she walks up menacingly and then says that he can’t do this because it’s the only group of friends she’s ever had and it’s heartbreaking like all of her non-hilarious dialogue is).

Aguefort understands that it sucks and has no respect for rules but says it’s out of his hands. Sam clocks that he’s hiding something (along with the fact that he seems to know about something going on with Antiope and Penny which we know is their respective internship/apprenticeship offers) and calls him out, hitting him with a Lightning Lure to drag his ass back when he tries to turn into a bat and escape out the window. She’s unhinged and I love it. 

So does Aguefort who decides to let them in on some school secrets, leaving a decoy while he leads them all to the super secret part of the forbidden library which is bondage themed because sure. Also, Ostentatia is topless for this also because sure. He does a lot of pomp and circumstance to summon a book which Yelle flatly says better not just be the syllabus and it isn’t but she’s close. It’s the bylaws of the school district which he has summoned for the guidelines on the special, magical thing the girls can get so they can graduate together…

Their GEDS!!!!! Trés mystical. 

Basically what they need to do is complete a level A, B, or C quest together (which Antiope knows are like the top 3 highest difficulty quests--they go from A-F) and get signoff from the superintendent. But the superintendent has been missing for 12 years and there can’t be a new one until she’s dead (which she isn’t or else they’d be able to appoint a new one). Her name is Tectonya Karkovnya (who I will be calling TK) and Aguefort calls her, “chaotic and impossible to predict,” which coming from him is como se dice, troubling. 

Sam pulls out her mirror to do a little snooping on TK’s past and sees that she’s a coppery, earth genasi woman. She also sees her talking to Aguefort and saying that the magic of consciousness is far superior to his beloved chronomancy. Then the scene shifts to show her getting more and more worried as she got deeper into her studies and then going to a dwarven holy site in the Mountains of Chaos with some kind of shadow figure following her. 

Penny gets photos of the super cursed bylaws and Arthur leaves since he very much is the principal of the school and has to do his job (ostensibly). With Aguefort gone, the girls discuss the proposition after conscripting a very reluctant Antiope to be their leader (Aabria hilariously improvises that a shaft of sunlight somehow comes down to illuminate her and she has to step out of the spotlight). 

They discuss whether they want to do this GED quest or not and Zelda says she wants to but she wants to give anyone who has other stuff going on an out so they don’t feel beholden. Ostentatia immediately shoots back that Zelda is just saying that because she has plans with Gorgug. That brings down the mood and Sam, despite being a water genasi, fans the flames by saying that Gorgug has lots going on that doesn’t involve her so she shouldn’t be running back to him all the time. 

Yelle tries to calm things down and says they should sleep on it but Sam and Ostentatia are taking this super personally and are offended that they’re even having this conversation. Penny accidentally lets slip that she has some kind of apprenticeship (she’s trying to keep it on the DL because it’s supposed to be a secret) and oh man it becomes a Whole Thing. They fight in the way that you do when everyone in the fight actually wants the same thing and cares deeply about each other but are in completely different headspaces which are making them lash out.

Penny, not wanting to be around the conflict, goes invisible. Zelda is suppressing going into a rage and says that maybe she should go be with Gorgug. At least he won’t yell at her. Yelle once again tries to cool things down and suggests they have a text thread where they can say if they’re in or out by the end of the night instead of hashing it out in the open. She’s accused of not being in and, in response, texts that she’s in. Ostentatia and Sam also immediately text that they’re in, which basically makes her “solution” entirely moot. 

Zelda is finally fully fed up and leaves (Penny following invisibly). Katja also follows. 

Antiope can tell that Sam is upset about something that’s not this but Sam brushes her off rudely and storms off (quite literally, causing storm clouds outside in her wake). Yelle goes after her. Ostentatia is left with Antiope.

Time for a string of very emotional mini scenes which I highly encourage you to watch because they are peak improv.  

Zelda, Katja, (Invisible) Penny

Katja runs to find Zelda who is under a tree crying and asks if she’s OK. Zelda says that Sam and Ostentatia are so beautiful and confident and eloquent and she gets so tongue tied and useless when they disagree with her because she’s so timid. Zelda wants this so bad but she doesn’t want to feel like she’s forcing her friends to stay with her. 

Katja, as we know, has major abandonment issues because of her constantly away dad (and prob her mom too) and she doesn’t want to be left behind again but she also doesn’t want her friends to factor her in so she tries to be stoic and says that the people you love have to want to stay. But with a 3, Zelda immediately clocks the emotion behind the words. Instead of calling her out, Zelda offers to listen to music with her. 

Penny takes this opportunity to make herself known (which has got to be terrifying--unless you’re used to it and then it’s like same shit as usual from Ms. Luckstone) and Zelda goat jumps to grab her out of the tree she was crying in above them and tells her that she doesn’t have to go invisible every time there’s conflict. They all agree that they hate confrontation and Rehka gets the funniest lowkey line of the episodes: that she wouldn’t know what to do if they didn’t agree on that. We then cut to…

Ostentatia and Antiope

Where Izzy gets the high key funniest moment of the episode by transitioning in with a big, “You know I LOVE confrontation,” which breaks everyone at the table. But she says it as a preface to admitting that she may have been a bit of a bitch to Zelda. She plays coy for like a half second before she breaks down sobbing with Antiope catching her before she sinks fully to the floor. Antiope comforts her and admits that while she wants to stay with the party, she hates having options taken away from her as they have been her whole life effectively. She was honestly kind of relieved when she was trapped in the crystal because it meant all that pressure was gone for a bit. They affirm that they love each other then Ostentatia goes to apologize to Zelda. 

Danielle and Sam

Yelle goes to talk to Sam (who she adorably calls “merbae”) and while Sam doesn’t wanna talk about it, Yelle says they don’t have to. She just wants to be there for her in whatever capacity she needs. She knows Sam loves her friends and would never hurt them on purpose so something must be wrong with her-- “History of abandonment?” Sam finishes, almost glibly. She’s tired of losing people. She doesn’t want to lose more. She doesn’t want things to change. Nature is change, Yelle says. Nature sucks, Sam says. Yelle is gonna pretend like she didn't hear that. 

Sam feels bad that she snapped at Zelda and Yelle says that they’re all a family. Things will be alright. The storm clouds that Sam reflexively summoned peter out into a cool, refreshing mist. 

Ostentatia and Zelda

Ostentatia goes to where Zelda and the girls are and full ass runs at her like they weren’t just fighting. After assuring her that she’s not there to fight she apologizes, saying she was a cow. Zelda says she honestly agrees with Ostentatia that she wants the group to stay together and wishes she could be bolder in non-rage settings. Ostentatia says that maybe if the Seniors leave they can still have a party and Penny vetos that even though, as Ostentatia says, it’s a pretty reasonable compromise. Anyway, they basically all go in a circle saying they love each other and it’s very sweet. 

I’m serious, I can’t do these heart to hearts justice in this format, just go watch them for that emotional girl group goodness.

Anyway, outside of the main group, Antiope goes to talk to her sister Corsica who is currently teaching a class. Antiope does not give AF. She orders the students out and they scatter. Wouldn’t you?

Antiope wants advice. Should she stay with her party after flaming out of her last one? Should she take the internship and stay on the path her parents want her on? Corsica really feels for her. Antiope has had to struggle in a way that she and their brothers never did. She finally answers that she and her brothers are awesome and successful fighters but none of them have been able to do the scariest thing possible: disappoint their parents. They’re soldiers. They like it that way. They fall in line. But maybe Antiope isn’t a soldier. Maybe she’s a leader. She ordered those kids out of the room without thinking after all and they obeyed. It’s an extremely good speech and Antiope basically has chills, as do I.  

I assume while this is happening or perhaps right before everyone goes home, Penny goes to see Jawbone (who has some spiffy new art--as did Gilear who cameoed early in the episode when Aguefort atomic wedgied him invisibly because sure) and talk about this uber difficult decision she had to make. Jawbone gets to the heart of the matter pretty quick. Penny is a high achiever who’s lived a life without choice. But now that she’s about to be off the rails for the time she’s freaking out. Penny sees the truth in the statement (after hilariously trying to solve his metaphor about an amusement park) and thanks him for the perspective. She then, in a very Fig move, tries to kiss him and Jawbone basically stiff arms her and breezes right past like it didn’t happen, showing her out. What a trooper that Jawbone.   

Moving on to Katja. When she gets home she tries to call her dad who is unreachable on his hell mission. She leaves him a message saying that he should call her back when he can and she knows what she wants for her graduation present now. She wants her party to not break up. This breaks Brennan and me. 

She then snoops arounds for info on TK. She sees letters of her dad trying to get her into Hudol. And she sees some stuff from the Ministry of Adventure, asking if he knew where TK was. But she doesn’t get anything else. At least, she doesn’t get anything else that’s helpful. She does however find a picture of her mom which makes her bolt to go talk to Cinnamon who prances for her to make her feel better. She joins in dancing, badly.

EDIT: I initially wrote that Katja’s mom was dead because that’s what I thought she said but @ennn said that in the Adventuring Party, Rekha said that her mom didn’t die, she left. Which is less dramatic in some ways but SO MUCH WORSE for abandonment issues so, yikes girl!

Yelle meanwhile goes home to talk to her unofficial third mom, Holly, who is the awakened tree under which her house is. Picture a Grandmother Willow situation from Pocahantas basically. Yelle talks about the conflict a bit and, as usual, ends up on a tangent about how the world is unfair and she has to speak for the voiceless. Holly is concerned for her (as are her other moms which I may have neglected to mention in the last recap). She asks Yelle if she can tell her something that might be painful. Yelle agrees. Holly says that Yelle is great and wonderful and kind but she spends so much time speaking for other people that she never speaks for herself. Her moms worry that there will come a day when she needs help and will have to ask for it without couching it in terms of the greater good and she won’t be able to. 

Yelle really hopes she’s high when the time comes. 

At her home, Ostentatia casts Commune With The City to see if TK has been around and she’s not there now but she can tell she has been (though there’s no indication on if that’s recently or not). On a 17 religion check she knows that there is a dwarven holy site in the mountains that matches Sam’s description from the mirror. She’s still avoiding her dad but when she prays for her spells, she asks for her dad to feel like himself again too. 

Hey, what time is it? Let me check my watch. 

Ah yes, it’s time for Sam to make some rash decisions. 

She feels like she should text Zelda but doesn’t. Instead, she goes into Penelope’s room. And she takes out her mirror. And even though she’s expended the charge for today, she tries to make it show her Penelope. 

OK, says Brennan. Sure. Hey, can you roll me a quick little Wisdom Save?

5. 

Haha, Sam’s in danger. 

The mirror heats up as it’s pushed beyond its limits and Sam sees an image of a young Penelope with braces grabbing her hands and grinning and saying that they’ll be best friends. Then, the image shifts and she sees the Penelope of the present in her tattered prom queen dress and glass shard crown. Her eyeless, haunting, demon prom queen form, teeth razor sharp as her words. 

“A call without a text,” she says. “Are you out of your mind?”

“You look better than you ever did alive,” Sam spits back. 

It is a battle of the bitches right out of the gate. The girls are fighting part two if you will. They snipe at each other for a bit and Brennan has Sam roll insight into herself. On a 19, Sephie says that’s not enough for Sam to get a read on herself (yikes girl) so she doesn’t understand that this fight can only ruin her because while Penelope enjoys causing people pain, Sam doesn’t. 

They both get in some very choice barbs but when Penelope tries to entice her into making a devilish pact and disparages her new party, Sam does the mic drop of the century by telling her that her parents are divorcing and hanging up. The entire table LOSES THEIR MIND. It is like a real life representation of one of those Draw The Squad memes. Everyone brandishes their fans in a salute to that truly epic conversation ender. 

As the night draws to a close, Brennan asks the girls who haven’t responded to the text chain yet if they respond. Katja texts that she’s in. Zelda texts Antiope and Penny that she’s not going to text whether she’s in or out until they respond because she doesn’t want it to feel like a 5 on 2 dogpile.

Antiope and Penny call then text, then call, then text, then call each other to discuss what they should do and also hype each other up because with all the drama, they didn’t really get to celebrate their opportunities. Penny tries to downplay her thing and insinuates that it wouldn’t be a big loss if she wasn’t in the group anymore and Antiope shuts that down immediately. You’re the last thing so many people see before they die Penny! That’s so cool! 

They both decide to text that they’re abstaining from voting for now and go to bed.

The next day, Antiope gets up and sees that her party’s schedule has been cleared for the next two weeks by the school for quest reasons. She tells her dad she wants to talk to Charity Blythe (the woman at the Ministry of Adventure she needs to talk do) and he sets up a no pressure (but actually tons of pressure) meeting with her before turning her 5 mile run into a 12 mile run because she is a Jones and 5 mile runs are for Amateurs. 

Ant texts the rest of the Maidens that this meeting is happening so they can maybe get some quest info from Charity and Ostentatia has in the meantime texted (after the 2 abstains) that she will be going for the GED regardless and anyone who wants to join can. Of course, there was never any reason to NOT go for it (besides the danger which they obv don’t care about) and getting it doesn’t mean any doors are closed to them. It’s just that emotions are running so high they can’t fully seem to see that (or at least some members can’t). 

Ant doesn’t have the clearance to meet at Charity’s office so they meet at the Museum of Adventuring instead. In it happens to be the skeleton of Kalvaxus who they killed (if you don’t remember, the Bad Kids killed him first and then he was resurrected so the Maidens could also kill him for catharsis reasons). Tensions are still super high as evidenced by Sam’s snide abstention comment to Penny and Ant and then by her TRYING TO LIGHTNING BOLT THE DRAGON SKELETON TO DESTROY IT.

GIRL.

That doesn't happen though because she’s Counterspelled by Charity Blythe who walks in, surprised to see that Antiope brought her whole party. Antiope says they were just leaving but Charity can sense shenanigans when she sees them and says if they’re gonna spy on the conversation they might as well stay for it which they of course do.

She gives Antiope a rundown of the internship: 1 year commitment with a possibility to expand to 2-3 years. Stipend. She’d have to live in Bastion City.

Katja remembers that her dad was talking to the Ministry of Adventure in the letters she found and asks Charity about it. Charity says they were asking him about TK’s whereabouts because he was friends with her. On that, Yelle casts Detect Thoughts with a Stealth roll of 17 (we see on a secret Box of Doom roll that Charity got a 26 to see her cast it). Anyway, she sees that TK took some object with her when she disappeared (which she later sees is a crystal screen with a map seemingly marking quest locations from A-F) and of course the fact that Charity knows this. Yelle shares this info with everyone as Antiope walks off with Charity to talk further. Katja suggests to the group that maybe Ant should take the internship to get more info for their quest. While she’s talking to Charity, Ant feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

See looks up and sees a figure with blood red lips look at her and disappear.

Yikes! Combat time baybee!

Superlatives 

Danielle: Most Likely to Talk Her Way Out of a Hostage Situation 

While, like her mothers, I am slightly concerned that Danielle is the type to set fire to herself to make sure others are warm, I also very much love her chill, warm, encouraging vibes. For those of you coming off of MisMag, she is like vibing at the same wavelength as Whitney Jammer but with the intensity turned all the way down. Danielle encouraging Sam honestly gave me like second hand calm. Excellent vibes. 

Random Thoughts

If you’re wondering how long it took for it to come up that Aguefort banged a phoenix, the answer is 12 minutes.

The concept of phoenix chlamydia is the definition of thanks, I hate it. 

Aguefort saying that TK is a crazy person could literally mean anything tbh. It could mean she is the most batshit person on the planet or it could mean she’s totally normal and just kinda bugs him. Literally no way to tell. 

Someone (I think Rekha?) mentioned that the cursed bylaws book is copper and so is TK. Idk if that’s relevant but thought I’d flag it anyway. 

We learn in this episode that the friendship bracelets Penny made them last week let them track each other and see each other even if one of the in knocked out (which is what gives it utility outside of what their crystals can already do).

We learn in this episode that Skullcleaver Elementary School is actually named after Katja’s family. 

Nothing like the fear you feel when a DM gives you what you wanted even on a failure. And on that note...

Sam, I wish you a very happy Please Go To Therapy. Please girl. 

This episode was such an emotional roller coaster. I deeply empathize with the horrible feeling that your friends have stuff going on and you don’t and you’re going to be left behind. It’s so rough to see everyone hurting and lashing out (or in the case of Yelle for instance, trying and failing to diffuse the situation). But it’s so nice to see everyone trying to be there for each other and apologizing and affirming that they love each other (from Antiope saying that she would kill and die for any of them to Danielle defusing the ticking timebomb that is Sam). The players really get the cadence of how teenage girl friendship works and it’s such a treat to watch. 

“Did we ruin your life?”

Do you think ep 7 of The Seven is gonna be when everything pops off? As a DM I wouldn’t be able to resist that.

Penny’s response to being told that she can’t take every path is, “You can with chronomancy” which isn’t a bad point. 

Rekha is the Zac of The Seven which is to say low key the funniest person on the planet. Her saying she was so scared that she wasn’t gonna be told “I love you” during that scene was so funny. Her comic timing is impeccable. 

Katja fainting at the end of the “I love you” session after Penny says she loves her and Cinnamon. 

I love the table ambient whisper of, “LCAB” under Antiope’s scene with Corsica. 

I really felt for Zelda in this episode. Like, I felt for everyone but especially her, being the quiet one with all this yelling happening. When she was talking about how much she hates to have to fight with Sam/O my heart really broke for her. I’m so glad she got all her hugs in after that. 

In this episode Katja, Ostentatia, and Sam roll nat 1s. No nat 20s.