#can you imagine how powerful I'd be if i actually wrote anything

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

Carmilla finds a way for sinners to have babies so she can start a army of tiny babie spiders and also just Have more kids.

Rosie finds out and decides she wants to participate so she goes to Alastor and says they can just turkey baster it and really dejectedly Al sighs and says "no.....I'll do it myself"

[undiscovered-horizon]

"Pillars of Eternity" - Morpheus x Wisdom!Reader

[TW: kidnapping/captivity, blasphemy, mentions of sexual assault, nudity, graphic description of a rotting corpse]

[Sandman-inspired playlist] || 🫀REQUESTS ARE OPEN🫀

[Next part: 'The Just and the Wicked'] ['Que sera, sera']

SUMMARY: In a spell-go-wrong, Rodrick Burgess manages to summon you: Wisdom incarnate. Noticing a strange and quite unnerving change in the world, Morpheus ventures into the Waking World to investigate, only to find someone he's always been looking for.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 9k (oopsie daisy)

Oh, you're just in time! Come, sit beside the fire, warm yourself. Did your travel go well? Hermes walked with you, you say? That is just wonderful! Back when I was a wanderer, he showed me many shortcuts, both in this world and leading to others. If you happen to meet him again on your journey back home, please send him my regards.

Why I summoned you? Well, I'd like to tell you a story. It's one of my favourites, actually. Tell me, do you think dreams and wisdom have anything in common? You can be honest, I won't tell The Circle's Magister of Oneiromancy. No? Nothing in common? I used to think that too. "How can fantasy and reason have any similarities?" I'd ask. But have you never wondered why oneiromancy is such a recent field of study? Even more important question: why do we find answers to the banes of life in our dreams? Of course, the Magister will give you plenty of plausible excuses but the truth is, none of it existed until a few centuries back. What reason and fantasy have in common is just that: oneiromancy. So far, it's the only shared work of the Endless and the Pillars of Eternity. What are the Pillars? Have I never told you about them? Oh, you have to forgive me, I'm an old man. Well then, let me briefly explain to you:

There are four Pillars of Eternity: Wisdom, Decay, Abyss and Aether. They created life and with life came the Endless. Unlike the Endless, however, the Pillars do not mingle with humans. They rarely even meet each other. The Pillars are the only force keeping our universe steady. They were never born, so they will never die. One day, they shall end this plane of existence and create a new one. What about God, you ask? Well, they are the God. The Holy Trinity was just a huge misunderstanding of reality as the early humans thought that Abyss and Aether are one entity.

Abyss and Aether are, actually, the oldest of the four Pillars, although so much time had passed that neither of them knows any longer who is older. But that doesn't matter for now. Both of them were always frail. In fact, so frail one would take pity on them and share their meal. Abyss had skin of the darkest shade you could imagine, while Aether's was so white it nearly made her transparent. They each held a weapon, a symbol of their power: Abyss carried the Aegis of Darkness and Aether held the Blade of Spirits. For the longest time, the universe was only them - two equal forces but not equal entities.

Then came Decay, the most beautiful boy you ever did see. One of the old poets wrote about Decay as "beautiful like the Trojan horse". Marigolds would sprout from his fingers, wolves and deer would sit side by side just to watch him pass. He is the cycle of life and death, a balance that allows the world to carry on. Decay's weapon, the Bow of Existence, is told to end and create life as he pleases. He could aim his arrows at our world and soon all of us would turn into walking corpses, spouting rotted venom with each ragged breath.

And the strangest of them: Wisdom. Her name, however, quite poorly represents her domain. She is everything that is arcane, that lies beyond the material world. The very magic that you so fondly study is her gift. No, it's more than that: she is what we call magic. Wisdom's siblings never quite liked her for she knew the secrets of their powers. Those that have been blessed to see her say that she's always holding the Spear of Ages but I know that to not be true. It is told to harness the arcane wisdom of all universes past, present and future. Some even go as far as to say that it's the only weapon capable of killing any and every creature, no matter how eldritch they are. In fact, Archangel Michael once told me that it was Wisdom's spear with which he killed Satan.

Remember the last time you visited and I told you about the Endless? Well, one time the Endless and the Pillars met, changing our world in a way we are yet to witness and understand. A charlatan named Magus managed to capture Wisdom with magic The Circle will not teach you. Sometimes I think they don't quite know it themselves but it's for the best. No one should be able to harness such strange power. Curiously, the said Magus did not die in some horrible way like many did before him casting that spell nor did madness gnaw at his old mind. But that's not important. Alas, without Wisdom to guide creation, the whole world began to fall into chaos. Magic became uncontrollable, even the powers of the Endless started to falter. Perhaps, that was the reason why Dream ventured into the Waking World to investigate that commotion...

Lucienne had finished briefing Morpheus on the current affairs of the kingdom of Dreaming but she didn't leave immediately after as she usually did. Instead, she stood slightly sideways to him, pondering whether to stay or go.

"There is something else on your mind, Lucienne." His voice was carried by the loud echo of the overwhelmingly empty throne room. "Speak."

She let out a sigh. Her gaze met his for a second before she looked away for a short moment, the last reflection of whether honesty was appropriate at the given time, only to look at the King again. "My lord, I can not be sure whether it's something worthy of your attention."

"Let me be the judge of that."

Before she let him in on the secret, Lucienne shortened the distance between her and Morpheus but in moderation - he was sitting on the stairs and had she walked a few feet farther, Dream would have to look up at her. It was simply wrong, for the librarian to look down on her master. "There is something strange happening in the Waking World," she revealed in a low voice as if she was expecting prying ears around every corner of the palace. "Prayers are no longer answered, magic is wreaking havoc..."

"Yes, I have noticed dreams and nightmares seeping into wakefulness," Morpheus confessed in a reflective tone. Lucienne wasn't sure what to think about his thoughtful voice; clearly, Dream was at least partially aware of the strange commotion and had spent quite some time thinking about it. Something about this subject made him stand up and slowly stroll around Lucienne. "I admit I can not tell the reason for such a breach between realms."

"If I may so suggest, my lord, perhaps Wisdom...?"

Morpheus suddenly stopped. He watched Lucienne's face for a moment, studying her expression. A cold silence filled the throne room as if speaking that ancient name was a transgression against entities incomprehensible to the creatures of this plane. "No one has seen the Pillars for millennia, Lucienne. They do not care about the affairs of other realms."

"They created this universe," she argued. "I'm sure impending doom that is not caused by them will get their attention. Magic is, after all, Wisdom's field of expertise, so to speak."

"Even if she was willing to take an audience, I do not know where she resides. Firstly, I shall visit the Waking World and see this unrest myself. Perhaps there is no need to seek out the Pillars."

The Lord of Dreaming was a steadfast man and so Lucienne did not bother attempting to change his mind. "As you wish, my lord Morpheus." She slightly bowed to him before leaving.

Burgess mansion was drowning in a tense silence - the same type of quietness that takes over a stalked prey. Staff didn't engage in their usual small talk and gossip anymore. Instead, they'd give each other shy, anxious looks of worry and fear as if each of them wanted to make sure that everyone else was feeling as much dread as they did. It was the calm before the storm but no one could quite tell how far from them the black clouds of rolling thunder were. Each time some odd sound resounded throughout the mansion, no matter how quiet or loud, housekeepers would immediately stop whatever they were doing and stare in the direction of the basement door. Cold sweat run down their spines.

Rodrick thought that the Corinthian's trustworthy look was quite suspicious. Somewhow, the man in glasses reminded the Magus of a sleazy salesman, who manages to sell surprising amounts of an outrageously low-quality product. Nonetheless, a more naive part of him longed to listen to what the blond stranger had to say - even to simply satisfy his curiosity but, perhaps, Rodrick knew somewhere deep down that he had found himself in a land of strangeness never before discovered.

"I'm afraid you got yourself a bigger fish to fry, mister Burgess," Corinthian stated with a polite smile. "You have captured Wisdom, one of the Pillars of Eternity. She and her three siblings are what you call 'God'."

A feeling of dread in Rodrick's abdomen only grew in strength - he was hearing about things never mentioned in the occult books he had studied so feverishly. Necronomicon itself never mentioned something close to "Pillars of Eternity".

But for now, Magus couldn't care less about Wisdom's familiar connections. "Can she bring back my son?"

"Personally? No." The Corinthian maliciously waited for Rodrick's expression to turn grim before he continued. "But if there is a way to make that happen, she knows all of them. The problem might be getting the bird to chirp."

"Oh, that should not be a problem," Rodrick gritted through his teeth. Was he already reliving all the imaginative tortures he was going to subdue her to?

The Nightmare, however, seemed greatly unmoved at the viciousness seeping from Rodrick's mouth. In some disturbing way, his face appeared brighter, suddenly, as though he was pleased with what he was hearing. "Do yourself a favour, mister Burgess, and chain her with iron. Lock her in a circle of salt and black tourmaline. Otherwise, the bird might just fly away."

But Rodrick was not a fool, perhaps a little too proud but never naive despite falling to the stranger's charm. He was right to submit the Corinthian's claims to generous scepticism. "How do you know so much about her?" he asked with a slight squint in his old eyes.

That polite smile the Corinthian so often wore never faltered. "Let's say I'm a distant relative of sorts. Goodbye."

Watching the blond man leave, Magus pondered what business the Corinthian had with making sure that Wisdom didn't escape any time soon. He came to the conclusion, that if she was as old and powerful as the stranger claimed, holding her captive was enough to gain Rodrick allies as powerful as they were inhuman. Therefore, even if she ended up not helping him, there surely was some otherworldly horror out there willing to fulfil his wish in exchange for her. But before that, Rodrick had to at least try and make her cooperate.

Waking up, you felt something coarse and cold against your skin. A shiver ran through your body and only then did you realize there weren't any clothes covering your skin. Contorting yourself into a fetal position in an attempt to fight the discomfort, you finally opened your eyes to look at wherever you had found yourself.

The room was dark - a dirty window the size of a bar of soap was a laughable excuse for a source of light. Judging by the painfully rigid and coarse floor, you must have been sitting on concrete. With each breath, your nostrils were filled with the stench of mould. When your eyes adjusted to the tomb-like darkness, you began noticing white lines around you. They seemed to come together into some sort of occult or alchemy symbol. Circles, triangles, hexagons...

"Metatron's Cube," you whispered to yourself. You could recognise your own creation anywhere but considering you hadn't drawn this one, there was a genuinely demented scheme operating in this realm. What's worse: you never bestowed this knowledge on humans.

The sound of a metal latch being lifted stopped you from your small investigation. As the door's rusted hinges moved, a deafening creak resounded in the concrete cell. A man with a halo from gas lamps behind him stood at the threshold as though he was the messenger of some unspeakable forces. He slowly stepped into the confines of your prison, showing only half of his face as the other half was still drowning in the overwhelming darkness of the place.

With just one look at the stranger, the enigma of your own magic being used against you became clear as day: "You tore your soul for this."

He, however, disregarded your statement. "I am offering a fair trade, Wisdom." Rodrick put an odd accent on your name as if he had expected you to be shocked at his insight. But you were a little too loyal to the name you had been given to be surprised at his knowledge. Seeing as he in no way impressed or intimidated you, Rodrick's expression fell and a disturbing shadow danced across his face. "You will stay here, imprisoned, until you bring back my son or tell me how to do it."

Humans... you give them one finger and they bite the entire hand.

"Such an act is against my brother's laws," you informed him. Decay was an entity difficult to please and so it took all four of you entire aeons to come to the consensus that currently controlled this universe.

"I do not care for any laws. I only want my child back." Rodrick stared at you with squinted eyes but it was not an expression of scepticism: his cheeks were raised in contempt and, thus, his eyes appeared smaller. He took a few steps closer to you but remained wise enough to not cross the line of the Cube. It would have been a very painful disintegration if he had. "Regardless of price," he added after a small pause.

"Most unwise, Rodrick Burgess," you answered slowly. Considering the fact that you were naked, laying on the cold concrete floor in a fetal position in his own basement, your words were in no way more intimidating than a scorned ant.

"I am the Magus," he spat out, "and you will address me only by that name."

But you remained unmoved: his anger could never impress you. "You are only a human, barely a larva in this universe's cycle of life."

"And you are my prisoner," he pointed out triumphantly. Although he hadn't gained anything yet, it seemed that Rodrick Burgess was for now satisfied just with your loss.

"So mote it be," you said in a calm, firm voice.

A heavy sigh left your lips when the metal door shut loudly behind Rodrick. Once more, there was only you, cold concrete and darkness. Inside Metatron's Cube, the world was disturbingly quiet. Visions of universes past and future no longer haunted you. Even realms of this cycle seemed to be out of your reach.

Days went by before the air in your cell changed. Something about this microcosm of captivity shifted but the borders of the Cube prevented you from learning what it was exactly. There was only dread and fangs that resided in the darkness surrounding you.

Then a figure emerged from the shadows. You recognized him immediately by his simple yet characteristic attire but you'd know this Endless without ever looking in his direction: his presence always filled the room with a faint aroma of pomegranate, lilac and old paper.

"Lord Morpheus," you introduced him. "It is not chance that brought you here but consequence."

"Consequence of what, if I may ask?" His low voice echoed throughout the small, empty room. In slow steps, he was making his way towards you.

"Everything. A horizon of events that had never happened and all the timelines that are yet to become true should we step in their direction."

Morpheus knew there was only one creature in creation that could speak in an equally strange and insightful way: "You're Wisdom."

Putting your hands against the concrete, you sat up with knees close to your chest in a pathetic attempt at retaining at least some of your decency. Seeing him for the first time in millennia, you thought he generally looked exactly the same as the day he came to life. "Yes, that is one of the names I was given in this cycle."

Even while he was meeting someone he regarded as nothing more but a tall tale, Morpheus remained ever so expressionless. "Why are you here?"

"I was imprisoned by my own spell; the magic I had created was used against me." You noticed he was coming dangerously close to the chalk line on the floor. "Be warned, Dream of the Endless, not to cross the lines of this sigil. It trapped me but you..." you stopped yourself from continuing. Perhaps, there was no need in informing him of such horrors that do not have to appear in this timeline - to be simultaneously reduced to atoms and locked in one's corporeal form. "I do not have the heart to tell you what shall happen to a creature of your sort in Metatron's Cube."

Morpheus listened - the tips of his shoes were a mere inch away from the border of the symbol. "I presume it is your imprisonment that is causing chaos across realms."

Yes, that was bound to happen. "The magic I breathed into this world is shifting, wandering into places it was never meant to reside in like sheep that scatter in the absence of a shepherd. It's slowly leaving all realms only to gather here, in my prison, where Rodrick Burgess can do whatever he pleases with it. In the upcoming days, humanity shall see the most powerful sorcerer that has ever graced planet Earth."

"Then I shall bring this transgression to an end."

You appreciated his vigour but inaction was often smarter than a well-intended impulse. "No, Morpheus, it is not time for me to leave yet. The magic of this place is too stable. Let it gather, let the scale be unbalanced and then come to my aid. Humans are fickle things and there is only so much magic they can harness with their bodies, minds and spirits. Once Rodrick Burgess gathers too much of it around him, the call to balance my freedom shall cause will make the magic devour him alive. Every particle of him that does not come directly from any of the Pillars will be reduced to nothing."

"What will happen to the realms while you await for the right moment?"

"They will surely be visited by my dear brother Decay. But to free me, you must retain your power, dear Dream, and there is only one way for me to help you do that. You will find my spear by the tallest tree in my home, in Shangri-La. Hide it in Dreaming, in a place no one visits and do not tell anyone about it. Leave it be and the spear shall let you and your domain live comfortably through my absence. Remain brave of heart, dear Dream, for the Spear of Ages shall show you the world through my eyes and it is not something your kind was meant to see."

He fell silent for a moment, clearly pondering the quest he was about to accept or reject. It was truly humiliating for one of the Pillars to be dependent on the goodwill of one of the Endless but at moments such as that one, it was unwise to remain prideful. "If you're trapped, how will I know when the hour comes to free you?" he asked. There was at least one creature in this cycle that wished you well.

"Come back in a decade and I will give you my judgement. Now go, Dream of the Endless, for Shangri-La is far from here and with both of us gone, your realm shall fall into ruin at a frightening pace. However, there is one more thing I'd like to ask of you." Although he was free to leave and save his kingdom before he saves you, Morpheus remained still, waiting. "If Rodrick Burgess so desires to see his son, allow him to but do not discard even the smallest element of truth: paint him in his thoughts as he truly is."

"I will return, Wisdom," Morpheus announced in a low voice before disappearing in a whirlwind of golden sand.

The first time Rodrick heard a questioning "Father?" resound in his ears, he dropped the pen he was writing with. A fearful tremor shook his old body.

He got up from his chair so fast, he nearly lost his balance and had to lean against the back of it. "Son?" Rodrick called out in a trembling voice. It was silence, however, that answered him. With a thundering heart, Rodrick run out of his study to continue the search for the source of the voice he so longed to hear again.

The creature he saw, however, could hardly be called a human. Perhaps the shape was once the corporeal form of a young man but those days were long gone. His military clothes were black with mould and torn in many places. Was it a scrap of material or part of his intestine hanging from one of the holes? Most of his face had already been eaten by necrophages, leaving a disgustingly open view of his greyish-green brain. Fat centipedes and larvas fell to the ground when he moved the remains of his head a little too fast. A putrid smell of something both sour and sweet filled the air making Rodrick feel his stomach tighten so much, its content travelled back up his oesophagus.

"Father?" the odiousness called out once more. His voice was raspy as most of the vocal cords had already been eaten by the happily fat insects. "Father!" the monster cried out upon recognizing his once beloved parent. "Why have you done this to me?!" he sobbed in terror and pain.

Rodrick Burgess was speechless at the horror he was cursed to witness. Hearing blood rush through his head and feeling his heart beating too fast, he leaned against the wall. His terrified gaze never left the terror that slowly limped towards him. A raven croaked outside.

The monster, in turn, never abandoned Rodrick's mind: as long as the Magus was awake, he was cursed to see, hear or smell the resurrected corpse of his son, while none other was privy to this maddening nightmare. It was his personal Hell, catered to his very own taste. The Devil, as one can learn, does not lurk in the details but in every wish and whim that is granted.

Morpheus never had to endure cold. Sure, there were lands of eternal snow in his realm but their weather never affected him. Their climate was, after all, of his own doing. The Himalayas, however, were a strange land and their coldness gnawed at every inch of his very being as if it wasn't his fingers the unpleasant weather touched but his very soul. Nevertheless, he had made a promise and that meant he had to brave through the unending pale dunes.

The day when his eyes saw the pagodas with gold roofs, a sigh of relief left his mouth. You were true in your words: the journey was long, tiring and littered with hardships that made even the Endless question their purpose. As Morpheus walked through the city hidden from the rest of the world, its inhabitants seemed surprisingly disinterested in the unexpected guest. Living at the literal top of the world, what wonders were they privy to? Among the streets of Shangri-La, his heart was at peace and Morpheus at first wasn't sure what to call this sensation. He felt as if he could sit down right where he stood and remain there until you and your siblings end this cycle of life. It surprised him how little regret resided in that hypothetical scenario: Dreaming, after all, would be reduced to ashes should he decide to abandon his current life and stay in Shangri-La but at that very moment, Morpheus had little to no care about his own domain. Even worse: the thoughts and memories of it were swiftly escaping his mind. There was only him and the overwhelming peace caressing his tired bones.

Despite his strange desire, he made his way to the monastery which was placed in the centre of the city. Crossing the threshold, he saw a large patio with a large brass gong placed in the middle. The twelve lamas that ruled Shangri-La probably didn't notice his arrival as nothing about their behaviour seemed to acknowledge Dream's presence. As if completely obvious to the doom looming over the universe, they continued their daily duties of meditation, practice and tea brewing.

The unexpected guest, however, did not remain unseen for much longer as if he was, after all, expected. One of the monks, dressed in orange robes and with a head bald enough to reflect sunlight, approached Morpheus silently. No words greetings or inquires were exchanged between them - the lama only stared at him, awaiting an explanation.

"I came for the spear," Dream announced.

The lama, however, spoke no words to him even this time - he simply pointed towards a hill that towered over the city. A mighty sequoia grew on top of it and Morpheus for a moment pondered how he had missed this very obvious landmark. What he never learned was the fact that until the monk pointed towards the hill, it didn't quite exist - not in this dimension, at least. With his eyes set on the miraculously tall sequoia, Morpheus marched on.

Standing in front of the tree, Dream was rendered breathless at the unspeakable beauty of the view around him. Shangri-La was but an anthill from this distance. The rest of the world, no matter how big someone thought it was, remained covered by thick, white clouds as if this sequoia and the pagodas with gold roofs were the only things to ever exist. The setting Sun, slowly crawling to disappear underneath the cotton-like clouds, painted the sky above him in all shades of fuchsia, red and orange. Morpheus completely understood why you had spent centuries in this place.

The golden spear was lodged in the frozen ground between the roots of the mighty tree above it. Although 'spear' appeared to be a quite misleading name: it was a polearm with two intrinsically decorated sharp blades on each end. A red ribbon was tied to the shaft of this primaeval weapon; even after centuries of withstanding violent winds, it remained untorn.

The moment his hand lay on the weapon, a terrifying avalanche of thoughts flooded his mind - concepts, ideas, words and images he couldn't even begin to understand. He retracted his hand as quickly as it touched the spear before. This sorcery was beyond him, it filtered through dimensions he could never trespass due to the very laws according to which he had been created. Morpheus was akin to an ant that, through a series of misfortunes and the universe's maliciousness, was suddenly cursed with experiencing the surrounding world as a human only to be thrown back into its tiny mind with sensations and knowledge it could never comprehend.

But he knew he had little choice if he wanted to free you one day as well as make sure his realm prevails in those trying times. Feeling an unknown fear in his chest, Morpheus grabbed the Spear of Ages once more. As maddening thoughts ran through his head, he used all of the strength he had to pull the long blade out of the frozen soil. Every inch of his crawling, pasty skin was screaming at him to stop, to abandon this unholy artefact and save himself. But, as it was mentioned before, Morpheus was a steadfast man and so he kept pulling and pulling until he believed he had been doing it since the birth of the stars.

The moon's silver light cascaded off the freed edge. Although the golden blade was covered in intrinsic reliefs, the metal was polished so diligently, Morpheus could see his own reflection in those decorations but he quickly noticed that something about it wasn't quite right; the reflection wasn't his only as though an invisible entity resided inside the blade, a creature he knew was there but couldn't physically perceive. On the other hand, perhaps he was finally seeing himself for the very first time just not in the limited way human mirrors reflect one face. Dreams of the Endless from universes past and future were staring into that golden blade all at once.

If the legends were true and this spear had been used to kill at least once, it must have been the most beautiful weapon to die by. Perhaps its artistry was exquisite enough to calm the spirit of anyone who fell victim to it, drowning in peaceful silence and awaiting Decay's passionate kiss.

Remembering the unsure state of his realm, Morpheus made haste to return to Dreaming, where things were much worse than he left them: entire lands dissolving into oblivion; Dreams and Nightmares confusing their nature and duties, only to seep into the Waking World with no way to come back; dreamers getting lost in their own dreams or stumbling into the consciousness of other people, unable to wake up. Trusting your words, he hid the Spear of Ages somewhere inside the palace all the while following your advice and never revealing its location to anyone. In a matter of hours, Dreaming returned to its state from before his prolonged absence, to its lawful order, but it still wasn't ideal. Morpheus knew that his realm wasn't going to heal fully until you are free and it pained him to know that in the face of a calamity that raised its terrible hand against his home, there was nothing he could do but wait.

Awaiting the decade to pass, impatiently or not, Dream would wander into the dreams of people in Rodrick Burgess's manor. Part of him was anxious about your fate: should you, somehow, be destroyed, this universe would disappear with a snap of a finger. Perhaps part of him was simply sympathetic towards you and the human malice that clawed at your existence. Maybe, in those dreams, he would uncover some way to ease your struggle.

And wandering through their dreams he mostly saw, as one might expect, completely mundane sights of fantasies and terrors. A change appeared only when he trespassed into the dreams of the men that guarded you, who fantasised of defiling you even in their sleep. Morpheus felt a gut-wrenching disgust seeing with his own eyes how low humans were willing to fall, to crawl, just to usurp a fraction of your gift. His mind was incapable of comprehending something so mundane, normal, for you, so there really was no way for him to tell what inexplicable madness would devour their minds should they happen to lay their hands on your spear. The human heart, however, remained insatiable in its greed.

When the first decade had passed, Morpheus travelled to your prison not expecting his visit to be one of many to come. Before leaving Dreaming, he pondered whether to take your spear with him but quite quickly did he realize that placing such an artefact within Magus's reach was more than completely idiotic - he already had something inexplicably powerful in his unlawful possession.

Arriving at the Burgess mansion, he noticed the lack of change in you as in you were sitting in exactly the same spot and exactly the same position as you did ten years prior. Morpheus was about to call out to you, ask for instructions on how to free you, but you seemed to be well aware of his presence even before he had a chance to speak:

"No, it is not the time yet, dear Dream," you answered his never-asked question," but the night is young and I should like you to stay with me until the sunrise if you wish so too. It is unwise to let loneliness gnaw on one's mind for too long."

Wasting no words, Morpheus simply sat down in front of you. Even in a position that was supposed to be comfortable, he appeared artificially rigid. His stern gaze bore into your face in anticipation. A few minutes of hesitant silence passed by before he became courageous enough to make demands to an entity superior to him. Dream's voice, although low and voided of emotions, made the coldness of your prison more bearable: "Tell me about other worlds."

And so you did. Recalling the marvels you had witnessed and created, you told him about realms that had existed countless cycles before this one as well as future ones about which you knew only as much as the afterimages of the event horizon revealed to you. Taken over by the nostalgia of your too-long life, you shared memories of a world you always recalled with fondness:

"The sky was an ocean, deep and impenetrable as you have never seen. There were no stars, no suns or moons, only gargantuan jellyfish that swam across the indigo firmament. They glowed with such a bright light, the land underneath them was never dark. A soft, melodic hum travelled through the light breeze that was always present. People thought it was simply the wind brushing against their homes but if you listened closely, you'd know that it was the creatures in the sea sky singing a blessing to the lands over which they swam. I remember... I remember it always smelt of oranges there."

Quite surprisingly, he listened to your stories without even a shadow of confusion as if none of the strangeness you had seen was enough to surprise him. Well, he was the Dream King, after all, and that meant he was made out of oddness and wonders. Sometimes, when your words were colourful enough, he'd chip in with a story of a similar dream he had once seen. But never once did he laugh at the ridiculousness of your tales, never once questioned their validity or admitted his lack of understanding. In all of creation, finally someone heard your stories and said "I know" instead of "Explain"; your infinite wisdom for the first time united something in place of dividing as it so often happened with minds too small to look past their pride. For the first time since you remembered, it wasn't unspeakably lonely to know what others couldn't comprehend.

"You are a strange creature, Dream of the Endless," you confessed close to the end of the night.

"How so?"

"In all of my eternal existence, you are the first to have the faintest idea of what I mean when I speak. Everyone else lacks the imagination to ponder the impossible."

"I do not believe in the impossible," he answered. Perhaps it was then, in those very words of disagreement, that your fondness of him sprouted so vigorously. "Improbable, perhaps, but human ingenuity showed me that the impossible is simply yet to be uncovered."

And what a wonderful thought that was! That there was always something more to discover, wonders yet to be seen and knowledge to yearn for; that no one truly knew everything and the finality of your wisdom was a generously rounded subjective experience.

The sun was beginning to rise - it was time for him to go. "I will be back," he stated before disappearing and you never quite knew if that was a promise or a fact.

One day, not too long after Morpheus's visit, Alex Burgess came down to your dungeon. He was a frail boy, no older than thirteen, with big eyes that watched the surrounding world as if he was seeing it for the very first time. Perhaps they were part of the reason why he looked so frightened by existence itself. If not, the fact that he was sneaking behind his father's back surely was.

He stared at you in silence for long minutes. Maybe he didn't know what to say or maybe the sight of you made him too scared to open his mouth. "Is it true what they're saying? Are you the Devil?" he finally stuttered out in a quiet voice.

"Devil is a title, not a name, Alex Burgess," you corrected him. "After the fall of Satan, that honour was bestowed on Lucifer, the current King of Hell. I am not Lucifer." Truthfully, it was offensive to even suggest you were anywhere close to that pesky, wayward creature.

"Can you really do it?" he continued. "Can you really bring my brother back?" A glimpse of fearful hope appeared in his eyes. It nearly made you feel sympathy for him.

"Do you think I should?" you returned the question. "Would it be wise, little Alex, to rob the dead of their peace?"

Frantically looking over his shoulder, the boy walked up to you in rushed footsteps. As a token of his complete subjection, Alex fell to his knees in front of you. Staring into those big, teary eyes of fear and longing, you wondered what horrors he had to endure since his brother's passing. "Please, do it, I'm begging you. My father, he... He has changed ever since my brother died."

But even the tears of children weren't a good enough excuse to break the consensus between you and Decay. "And why should Rodrick Burgess dictate who dies and lives?" you asked Alex. It was at least ridiculous to entertain such thought - that larvae would order lions around. Humans rarely considered matters from a perspective other than their own. Maybe it was time to force one of them to be something else than egocentric for a moment: "Which one of you had ventured into Death's realm and asked the boy himself whether he wants to return?"

And maybe Alex Burgess would have responded to your strange, quite macabre, question, had his father not appeared in time. Seething, Rodrick yelled out various curses directed at his youngest child. His hand, although old and tired, grabbed Alex's shoulder with surprising strength, only to forcefully drag him out of your cell. Then, in those big eyes that glistened with fear you, saw his moment of clarity, complete understanding that you were something much older and much more powerful than the fairytale of the Devil people believe in - you could be much worse than the Adversary and his father kept you locked up like a stray mutt. Since that fateful moment, every day Alex begged his father to let you go in fear of your primaeval anger.

The silence of your loneliness, despite being hardly bearable, was a lot more welcome than experiencing another exhibit of human entitlement. How come those low creatures always thought they knew better? As much as they execrated gods, idols and all creatures in between for not granting all of their wishes, they never seemed to entertain the thought that, maybe, it was for their own good.

Every decade that followed, Morpheus would leave his domain to venture into the Waking World; for one night every ten years, reason and fantasy sat face-to-face as if they could ever be equals. As time went by, you couldn't decide whether it sounded like a set-up to a bad joke or the first verse of a life-changing poem. Although, who was to say both variants weren't equally true at the same time? Why did it have to be one or the other?

In any case, some nights the two of you talked but others were spent in a pleasant silence. When the night hours were spent on conversations, it was mostly you talking but it was quite understandable: while you knew what he was, Morpheus had a less than vague idea of the truth behind the myth of Wisdom, the Pillar of Eternity. There was a strange intimacy in being the one known instead of knowing but you welcomed it with the warm curiosity that defined you.

One time, probably as a token of his goodwill or care for you, Dream brought a book from the library in his palace. Out of all the works ever written, Morpheus chose The Trial by Franz Kafka. Perhaps he liked it himself or perhaps he found it somewhat fitting. It was a bizarre thing to stare at him while he read through the existentialist story: not an emotion appeared on Dream's face, nothing that suggested any reflection elicited through the strange tale he shared with you, all the while words leaving his mouth painted a disturbing course of events of a man who tried to defend himself from an accusation he never learned. Nonetheless, his low voice made for an exquisite narration of the through-provoking tale and you found yourself pondering asking him to read more to you. But that was a worry for the future, now you simply listened to his pleasant words.

Hours had passed and the sun was rising, people in the mansion were beginning to wake up, so Morpheus knew he had to leave soon. But before he was gone for another ten years, there was something you needed to tell him or maybe it was him who needed to hear it: "The world would be at ease knowing that it is you who is watching over them while they sleep."

"Thank you. That is a beautiful wish."

You gave him a gentle smile. Was it insecurity or modesty that spoke through him? "It is merely a fact, darling Dream."

And with those words, Morpheus had disappeared, marking another decade when magic run uncontrolled through all of the realms.

The eleventh time Dream visited your cell, he could immediately sense that something was different about that night. Were the wolves howling at a strange moon? Or perhaps moth swayed to inaudible music? Whatever it was, it pierced the air even in the concrete cell.

"The day has come, dear Morpheus," you called out to him. As it usually so happened, you acknowledged his presence before he could make it known. "The clock has struck Magus's last hour. There is enough raw, untamed power within these walls for you to not fail."

Strangely enough, you were in a different position: on your knees, sat on the back of your feet with hands resting on your thighs, leaving your chest indecently exposed. Morpheus felt a knot of shame tighten in his stomach - he should look away, shouldn't he? Redirecting his flustered gaze at something above or behind you, he spoke:

"What should I do?"

"You will need my spear." Still, you refused to look in his direction. Your vacant stare seemed to be admiring the dark, wet and coarse concrete wall in front of you.

"I hid it in the Dreaming as you advised."

Finally, you looked at him. Out of the two of you, he seemed to be a lot more embarrassed at your nudity. Perhaps you simply grew accustomed to the constant shivering and goosebumps. "Or did you?" you asked with a glint of mischief in your smile.

Morpheus was about to answer you, voice his confusion at your vague question, when he felt something weighty in his hand. Sure enough, he was now wielding the Spear of Ages, although he knew for a fact that he did not bring it with him coming to your decadal meeting. Curiously, he noticed that within your vicinity, the primaeval weapon did not torture him with visions and whispers he couldn't understand.

"Break the sigil with my spear," you instructed him, "but first you need to cast a spell, call my name into the void beyond all realms and summon me into this plane. Repeat after me, Dream of the Endless: I name you wolf, guardian of order and arcane laws. I name you heron, pathfinder of skies. I name you moth, the winged god of change. I name you fox, a traveller between realms. I name you earth, the sanctuary of stability and abundance. I name you crow, keeper of lost lore. With this artefact of power, I name you Wisdom, the Pillar of Eternity."

Morpheus tightened his grip around the shaft of the spear. With a strained groan, he pierced the concrete floor of the basement breaking one of the Cube's lines. A loud cracking resounded in the small room and a web of crevices sprawled across the complex sigil, essentially breaking it into countless dismembered lines. From those breaches emerged green light that quickly became blinding, forcing Morpheus to look away. The power, whatever it truly was, only grew in strength and soon it had reigned over the entire mansion. Housekeepers kept their eyes shut tightly, covering their entire faces as they felt the light burning their skin.

Then, a blood-chilling scream resounded through the house. It was, as one might suspect, Rodrick Burgess himself. Having gathered and irresponsibly used your magic for his own mundane whims, the green-coloured power recognized the man as a vessel for arcane force and so it tore every particle, that you had breathed into existence, out of him. Soon, the screaming subsided and only a speck of ash was left where a man once stood. The green light went out, crawling back down the cracks it had originally climbed out of.

Your world became loud again, filled with whispers and images from different realms and timelines. The static noise of universes past and future was never once overwhelming - it was akin to a farmer hearing fields of wheat rustle on the gentle august wind; it was the sound of life, creation walking along its predetermined path.

After over a century of forced, cold nudity, you found yourself dressed once more, in emerald green and embroidered golden ibises. A cape was covering one of your shoulders. As paradoxically as it may sound, it was then that you had felt more naked in front of Morpheus than before as though him seeing you in your arcane exult was more intimate than witnessing its mere fraction.

Nonetheless, it was time for the two of you to leave this den of wickedness. Having effortlessly pulled your spear out of the cracked concrete, you placed your hand on Dream's shoulder and, without a word of caution, travelled across the globe to the place you considered home. Where the two of you once stood among the darkness, now lay glistening, green dust, so easy to be overlooked by an inexperienced eye.

Morpheus found himself among the busy streets of Shangri-La again. Despite decades having gone by since the last time he had set foot on those cobblestones, nothing about the hidden city had changed. In fact, it seemed as if not a day had passed for its citizens. Still, the people of Shangri-La passed by him without ever acknowledging his presence. To Dream's surprise, neither did they acknowledge you. The bright, warm sun rays reflected off the gold roofs of pagodas building the city. A gong resounded through Shangri-La as though the monks were announcing someone's arrival or calling people to prayer.

Seeing you in all of your timeless glory, no longer bounded by foul magic, he fell to his knees - bowing, as one should do when facing the Pillars of Eternity. Although he was showing you the respect you deserved, it felt strange to be reminded of the inequality between you because, truthfully, this dissonance was buried the moment he sat in front of you, asking to be told about lifetimes he never got to witness and landscapes he was never going to set his eyes on.

The Spear of Ages weighed in your hand. The bright sun of the Himalayas danced across its edge, reflecting a mirage of colours both known and yet to be named. With a strange nostalgia, you looked at your own reflection in the meticulously sculpted metal. Entire universes had been born and collapsed before another pair of eyes stared into the golden blades. Eternity was changing, you could tell as much, but in what ways? That knowledge remained beyond you, for now.

"Throughout those decades of chaos, it had belonged to you as much as it belongs to me." With a sharp sound, you broke the spear in half against your leg. Holding one of the blades in your hand, you extended the now-broken shaft towards Morpheus. "You do not bow before me, Dream of the Endless," you announced in an official tone making him look up at you, "but stand by my side as my equal. A friend, if you will." Such a word of intimacy and trust tasted weird on your tongue. It was a flavour you were yet to grow accustomed to.

With a gentleness that befitted hesitation, Morpheus took the half of the spear you offered him as he stood up. In the upcoming millennia, he was going to have numerous opportunities of proving its deadly legend true, raising the primaeval blade against his own siblings but never, until the end of this cycle, was his hand going to strike one of the Endless. Not with this arcane weapon, at least. Now, when half of the Spear of Ages belonged to fantasy and the other half to reason, a new power was called into existence to accommodate this dissonance: oneiromancy, the art of prediction through dreams.

"Wouldn't it be considered rude for one of the Endless to seek out the companionship of one of the Pillars of Eternity?"

"We are peers now, darling Dream," you reminded him. It was utterly bizarre to consider one of the Endless as anything else than below you but perhaps too much time had already passed to dwell on your differences. "All you have to do is ask."

He didn't speak right away as if he needed more time to ponder his request. Only now, having escaped the darkness of the dungeon you were held captive in, did you notice the strange yet captivating shade of blue in his eyes - they were the same colour as the sky sea once filled with glowing jellyfish you remembered so fondly.

Finally, Morpheus took a bold step towards you. The stern, cold look in his eyes suddenly became mild as they studied your face. His face stopped intimately close to yours. "Come with me," he begged barely above a whisper as though he was afraid of anyone else becoming privy to the desires of his heart.

"That is not a question," you answered equally quietly.

"Allow me to rephrase: will you marry me?"

Staring at him in thoughtful silence, you couldn't help but smile. Some part of you knew this was going to happen the moment he stepped into the confinements of your prison for the very first time. Perhaps, the curious resemblance between his eyes and the strange sea sky was more than a random occurrence. "It is not chance that makes you say this but consequence."

His face lit up with amusement or curiosity. Dream's lips, too, contorted into a smile but it seemed to be a reflex rather than a conscious choice. "Consequence of what, if I may ask?"

"Of things that I have done," you answered. In a truly tempting fashion, your arms circled his neck. You leaned in to whisper something in his ear, making Morpheus sharply breathe in as he felt your own breath against his skin: "And as a consequence of everything that you have done, I shall tell you 'yes' without hesitation."

How do I know this story, you ask? Well, of course they themselves told me! I could ask my father to tell me any story ever dreamt but so often I'd demand to be told the very same one over and over again - the tale of how he met my mother.

Growing up, I was always headed on an expedition to find the Spear of Ages, at least one half of it but I never did. As Dreaming and Shangri-La are far and wide, the weapon was nowhere to be found. "The spear can not show you anything that you don't already know, Mimir," my mother used to say. Perhaps, she was right.

But the day is growing shorter, dear student, and you mustn't linger beyond nightfall. I bid you farewell. May you dream of wisdom and may you be wise in choosing your dreams.

TAGLIST: @deniixlovezelda

[tackytigerfic]

hiiii tacky!!! idk if you're comfortable sharing, but if your are... what is your writing process like? are you a more like linear narrative person where you come up with an idea followed by a plot line or do you come up with like a piece of dialogue first and then write around that? do you use music, shows, other fics, real life for inspo or is it all kinda just ur imagination? lol i personally just adore your fics so i would love to hear how they come about :))

hello Anon! First of all, thanks so much for sending this ask. I always love reading other people's posts about their process so this was a really interesting one for me to think about. And I'd be delighted to share, though I can't promise it'll be anything profound!

I'm the opposite of a linear narrative planner type tbh. Whenever I try that approach, it always feels really flat and uninspired. I have a WIP at the moment that came to me in quite a plotty, formal way—it's a fic where there's an emergency at Hogwarts and Albus and Scorpius go missing, and Harry and Draco go there together and have to get their sons back (and fight the Giant Squid). I had an overarching idea, and a flashback/flashforward format with all the scenes I needed. But when I went to write it, it dragged and dragged. I hope to go back to it but I think it really needs to be shaken up!

Normally however, every fic I write begins with an idea for one particular moment or scene. It's almost like a camera flash, like an illumination, a moment of clarity where I can just grasp the mood of this tiny snapshot within the narrative. So everything I write becomes about getting to that moment and capturing the feel of it as truly as I can. It's hard because sometimes, as I write, there's a slippage between what I have in my head and what comes out on paper. My best fics (in my opinion) are the ones where the finished piece matches up with the vision/feel I had in my head.

So in Modern Love, that scene was the kiss in the church. Which, if you've read the fic you'll know, comes almost at the very end. So i basically wrote 60k to get to that: "Draco presses into him, and Harry can feel the answering press of the altar rail behind his thighs, and Draco bends him backwards so his body is a tightly-strung bow, and Draco is leaning over him, holding him up, and they’re still kissing, kissing, kissing."

In Unpin, it was the scene where Harry and Draco are getting into their uniforms in the changing room, and Draco can hear Harry unbuttoning his robes: "The buttons are tiny, impossibly delicate-looking, but he tells me they’re virtually indestructible. I can actually hear the whisper of the buttons as he nudges them shut, that gentle sussurating scratch of the edge of each one as he eases them through the buttonholes.'The kirin horn has protective properties, Malfoy,' he told me smugly when he bought them. 'And,' he added, like the sanctimonious prick he is, 'they look great.'"

In Power Lines, it was the scene with Draco floating in the sea: "They swam every afternoon, Harry mostly floating, blinking up at the flat blue sky, Malfoy with his shoulders pink and peeling and his wet hair bleached like bone from the sun. His Mark had faded over the years, though it was still ugly, and he had a ropey, reddened scar curling around the bracket of his left ribcage right up to the hollow below his Adam’s apple. Harry determinedly didn’t think about how odd it was that he suddenly knew Malfoy’s body like this, so casually and easily."

In Lick, it was Harry with his hand on the Hogwarts wall, talking to the building (and that scene comes right at the start, so in a way that was easier because I had the whole fic to play with afterwards!): "As he touches the wood, leans his forehead against the wall, he whispers under his breath, "Please." And as easily as that, at just one word from him, there's a click—the shockingly mundane sound of a lock turning."

In Our Little Life, it was Draco in a toga: "Harry’s fingers went to the fibula at Malfoy’s shoulder, but Malfoy murmured something about how he should leave it unless he was prepared to redrape it, and anyway Harry found he could get at almost all of Malfoy’s skin by going in from the hem up, and when the dream started to fade, Harry woke with the memory of Malfoy’s ribcage shuddering beneath his fingers."

In Howl, it was an almost jokey recreation of the rain scene in the newer Pride and Prejudice film: "“It worked out okay in the end,” Harry said, voice rough under the patter of the rain that had crept up on them, moving in sheets across the wide bowl of the valley below, wrinkling the surface of the lake. “You’re here, aren’t you? You came to get me.”"

In Countdown to a Life it was Harry thinking he'd enjoy being tied up and realising he didn't like it: ""I think," Harry says, so much later that Draco thought he was already asleep. "I think I'd prefer if it was just you. Keeping me still, I mean. I'd be so good for you. I wouldn't move at all, if you told me not to.""

in Take the Moon, it was Harry bringing Scorpius to the supermarket in the middle of the night and seeing his own reflection in the freezer doors: "Sometimes Harry could hardly see how three years had passed, could barely remember a time before Scorpius, definitely couldn’t count how many nights he had spent here in this particular Sainsbury’s, first with Scorpius in the sling, then as he got bigger, the trolley seat, walking up and down the aisles under the artificial lights that made it feel as though it could be any time of the day or night, Harry’s own warped reflection flickering back at him from the foggy glass doors of the freezer cabinets, rows and rows of chilly ghosts."

You get the idea! This is just a selection from random fics, I could probably go through every single fic and pinpoint that moment/scene that prompted me to start writing. Some are more successful than others in the way they turn out, of course—and I do think it's one of the reasons I think my microfics/oneshots are my best writing. It's because they usually are the essence of that one scene, distilled! So I can really indulge that purity of vision.

I'm not inspired by media like films/songs/books at all really, though I do greedily consume a lot of those (books in particular) and of course every single thing I read/watch has an impact in some way. I definitely write better when I've been reading really good books. This year, reading things like The Bee Sting or Close to Home or Open Water... they all really inspired me to think about craft and style and tone in a very considered way.

And on a final note, I've been writing a lot of original work this year and i've learned that I find it even harder to capture the feel of that one moment when I'm also trying to juggle characterisation and plot!

Thanks so much again for the ask and for giving me a chance to chat about my fics. Was lovely to revist them. Would also love to hear other people talking about their own processes if anyone fancies sharing.

[toomuchracket]

imagine flatmate!matty asking you to be in the girl in the robbers video (it could be before condom gate and you both freak out a bit because you get to kiss and do coupley stuff and that’s how you’re meant to be) idk

wait because yeah this song is so special to matty and you've been around since he wrote it (and yeah ok fair enough his whole thing about "love as the most powerful force" is about how he feels about you. it's self-inserting you both into true romance. honestly he's so real), so when it comes to casting for the video he wants somebody he can trust to honour the song well and you're the obvious choice. naturally, he's shitting it to ask you because he's convinced you'll say no - and part of him kinda wants you to, because he doesn't know how he'll cope getting to kiss you and then having to go back to being just friends - but he's very excited when you tentatively agree to it, after several rounds of "are you sure i'm right for this? i don't think i'm quite cool enough. and i have no acting experience" "babe, you're the coolest person i know. and you're my best friend and i trust you. you'll be perfect" lmao. and you do have a lot of fun on set; you're essentially on holiday with your boys, getting to be all made up and cool, and at the heart of it just getting to piss about with your best friend pretending you're in a film you both love, even if it's killing you both a little bit to act so lovey-dovey. for the most part, it's easy, gazing up at matty while he sings and acting out a little bit of the domesticity you both share every day, but the kissing and the slightly sexier stuff (sidenote: you all make the sensible decision to NOT have your tits out. a) because career-killer for you, b) because matty's afraid he actually might die at the mere sight of you half-naked) is DIFFICULT. not the motions themselves, per se - the first time you and matty actually kiss, it's as easy as breathing - but the love and lust and total longing that they bring up for you both are a challenge to disregard. when the director yells cut, you both smile a little bit awkwardly at each other, with a silence only broken by matty quietly saying "you were perfect. thank you for this, sweetheart. i'm glad it's you i got to do this with"; you hug him tightly (so he can't see you get teary) and say "i'd do anything for you, you know that. thank you for taking care of me. knew you would". and i think you just kind of hold each other, aware that everything is different for you both now and just so unsure what to say, and it isn't until one of the boys comes over that the hug breaks and so does the weird tension. but yeah - it's certainly the catalyst for condom-gate and getting together, in that you guys kinda throw yourselves into sleeping with other people to distract from the "ok. it's settled. i'm in love" realisation that you have about each other, but it doesn't work (as we've seen from condom-gate itself lmao) <3

[worldstogetlostin]

WIP Questionnaire

Thanks @wintherlywords for the tag, this looks like fun! I've left a copy of the clean slate of questions below

Rules: Answer as many (or as few) of the questions about your WIP as you can.

1. What was the first part of your WIP that you created? The first part of the TGATWST I wrote was one of the endings of the three stories in the book lol, jumping right to the end. It's a scene where there is rain falling on a man's face and he, being in love with a god, feels it as an embrace from his lover - very sentimental and a bit mushy but what can I say, I'm a sucker for romance.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be? I think it would be like the music from The Hobbit or LoTR! Very instrumental and powerful, something that could move you.

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why? Oop that would be like picking a favourite child and I'm not going into too much detail on this WWIP as of yet (still in the very early stages and wondering if it will survive) but I definitely have characters whose voices I have figured out better than others.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story? The Hobbit, LoTR seeing as they're huge inspirations for me in everything I do lol. Maybe the inheritance Cycle and books like it? Honestly difficult to imagine anything I write having a fan base but if I had to give it a vibe I'd go with those!

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP? Motivation, every time. I have a demanding job and exams and I'm currently in the legal process of getting a house so lots of exciting things going on that usually mean I have no energy left for writing!

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them! Horses, cows and beasts lol, the WIP is set in medieval times (fantasy of course) so animals are a big part of the world, but not a huge part of the actual story.

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.) Horses, walking, some carriages for those with a little extra coin who fancy living the high life

8. What part of your WIP are you working on rn? The end of the beginning, and the beginning of the middle, which is a strange sentence to write.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your WIP do you think will draw people in? Gods and mortals and the relationships between them, found family vibes, self-loathing characters finding redemption, soldiers finding and losing faith, and lots of queer representation

10. What are your hopes for your WIP? That I can actually finish it and have it be something I am proud of.

I'll go ahead and tag (with no pressure) @verba-writing @elizaellwrites @writingmoth and @ceph-the-ghost-writer and anyone else who wants to have a go!

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

[sophiainspace]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for tagging me, @crestfallercanyon !

How many works do you have on AO3? 82.

What’s your total A03 word count? 648,300 (quite pleased with that - a lot of words of fic in six years!)

What fandoms do you write for? In terms of what I've published - Mostly Arrowverse, with a little bit of Buffy and the Good Place (and I'm currently dipping my toe into Star Trek: Strange New Worlds for a fandom event). In terms of what I have not published - so many fandoms. Way too much Star Trek and, again, Buffy.

What are your top five fics by kudos? - Can’t Take That Away From Me (Coldflash identity porn). - Better Latte Than Never (the meet-cute prequel to the above Coldflash, and I actually hope to finish that series soon!) - [A fic that I'm embarrassed to have as 3rd highest kudos so eh] - The Bed (The Good Place, Chidi/Eleanor/Tahani). I'm really pleased that's still high on the list, because I think it's for the writing as much as the ship. - Unspeakable (DCTV Coldwave). I think the high kudos is mainly because it's been published so long - I wrote it years ago.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Always. And I say so at the end of every fic. I adore comments, so I feel like I should acknowledge them. Even if my thanks are really boring some days!

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? So many to choose from! But in terms of angsty endings, probably First Time (Westhallen time travel post-Eddie's death).

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? It might be the Stealing Time/Saving Time series (Coldwestallen, Len with Oculus powers), where Barry, Len and Iris kind of get everything they want, in a way I think makes sense for this version of them.

Do you get hate on your fic? Only once, and I don't know if it even counts as hate, but it was someone who got mad about one of my neurodivergent headcanons - which was more of a surprise than anything, as those usually get great comments. I got so much support from my fandom friends about it that I felt much better. :D

Do you write smut? On occasion, but I try not to. No one needs to read my grey ace ass trying to write sex in a vaguely convincing way (and failing).

Do you write crossovers? Not yet... but let's say I've been working on a Faith Lehane/Leonard Snart fic for ages, that will probably never see the light of day at this point. It's fun though!

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of, but I can't imagine anyone bothering with my fics!

Have you ever had a fic translated? I don't think so, but I've had podfic made <3 The awesome @litrapod turned Fireworks (Coldwave) into a great podfic, which made me so happy.

Have you ever co-written a fic? A few times! Including with @achangeinpriorities. Top tip, beta readers can make great co-writers!

What‘s your all-time favourite ship? That question is too hard and I will never answer it but also it's Coldwave. Or Faith/Buffy. Or... Nope I'm not starting down this road :D

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I *really* wish I'd been able to finish Take The Keys (And Drive Forever) - Lisa Snart/Caitlin Snow, spooky fic - but I just ran out of ideas for it. Maybe one day...

What’s your writing strengths? Questions about my strengths are a challenge! I've had some nice comments about my writing of character dynamics.

What’s your writing weaknesses? I really struggle with dialogue. You'll see me try out many different ways of writing it, throughout my fic back catalogue, as I attempt to make it work. I think I'm getting better, but slowly!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? If it was a good fit for a character - like if Hartley Rathaway was being snarky in Latin - I might give it a go, but I wouldn't try it very often. Too easy to get wrong, in too many ways.

First fandom you wrote for? Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I never shared those early fics anywhere. It's for the best!

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? I've written 82 fics this is very difficult! This answer would probably change if you asked me another time, but I think it might still be the Retired Rogues series, in which Coldwave retire and hijinks ensue. Both were early fics, so my style has changed a lot since then, but they stick in my mind as being a lot of fun to write. I'm not sure who's done this already, so sorry if I tag you and you already have... Tagging (totally obligation-free, of course) @habibialkaysani @coldflasher @kittsfics @joanthangroff @sugar-haus @strangebrainrot @achangeinpriorities @blueelvewithwings

[wc-wild-rewrite]

Into The Wild Reread!

Its actually been like 6 years since i last fully read this series, so it was fun going back through! Overall i give it a 9/10, one point removed for slightly clunky writing and scene changes.

HOWEVER, Every single sentence that includes Spottedleaf is awful and uncomfortable, so it's actually getting an 8.5/10

Please note that i wrote the notes as i read it and have not edited them

My chapter by chapter thoughts and notes are under the cut!

Prolouge

Iconic opening prologue, but we're really stretching the definition of bracken-colored for mr reddish-brown oakheart here.

When did the clans meet otters

I wonder how Mousefur feels about the last fight alongside redtail being the one where tigerclaw saved her

"Fewer kits than normal" bluestar theres 5 of them i'd say thats a decent number, 6 if we're counting Lynxkit

I dont remember many of the prophecies but i hope they use more star ones, the shooting star is a cool one

Chapter 1

They really love their full stops huh, its slightly jarring, as someone who writes with so many commas

I still love their descriptions of the enviroment

I like how they show Rusty's ignorance towards the necesscity of prey by having his first scene be him toying a live mouse, and that being why he lost it

Rusty, collars are not supposed to pinch, your being mistreated

I dont think ive ever seen anyone remember to add the 'lightly raining' part into an animatic or comic or anything

I like to think he spotted Bluestar in the trees when he says it feels like something's in the woods

I like that rusty's sorta mean, real tween energy

They better bring this fox back

This is painfully lore-dumpy but i love greypaw's total disregard for rusty's anger. And for his disregard for clan code, talking to a kittypet when he shouldn't be. Sets up his later code breaking.

I'm always really concerned about rusty's "just sit there and look hungry" comment, like buddy why do you know that??

Lionheart is canonically handsome

I really like how majestic and respectable bluestar is shown to be in this scene, i can feel her power

Bluestar has been keeping an eye on rusty for a while, spurred by the prophecy, i'd imagine

Chapter 2

I cant tell if bluestar snapping at him so fast is because of how despserate thunderclan is in that moment, or if its a hint to how fast she can turn against people.

Rusty's willignness to look a wildcat in the eye and argue is very interesting, i see where squilf gets it from

'Young kit' i love lionheart

Chapter 3

I like to think the yellow eyes in his dream are yellowfang's

Kittypets know what hours are, i wonder if the clans do

I love smudge, poor guy

They have pine trees on thunderclan territory

I kinda like asshole longtail, hes fun

Great job longtail, you got your ass kicked by a fresh apprentice

Only finished his training two moons ago means longtail is 14 moons, and was probably a solo apprentice. I can see why Bluestar is afraid of not having enough, if the last batch of apprentices only had one.

Interesting that they were so quick to accept Firepaw, but only after he proved himself in a battle. Very telling of their culture.

Graypaw never describe Spottedleaf ever again, its very uncomfortable, "not bad looking either" you are a child

"Neither young nor pretty" this line is especially funny now that grey and dark are brothers, like yeah, thats peak little brother energy

Chapter 4

Ok whos this ginger queen, shes been mentioned twice now

Firepaw stop asking for lore a cat just died

Now i wanna see a redstar au

I like how sassy spottedleaf is with tigerclaw

Tigerclaw in this scene feels so much like Scar, i wish they kept this

I like the lore of the leader's den being carved from a river, wonder if DOTC is consistent with that

Love the sharing tongues and eating lore, the idea of older warriors inviting younger ones to eat with them being an honor

I like that the elders are perfectly fine with firepaw

Interesting that sandpaw isn't actually described as cream or sand colored, but 'pale ginger'

Again, loving the eat rituals with the apprentices eating by the stump

Sandpaw's such a bitch i love her, such a tween mean girl, i can only imagine her with a high, bratty voice

Chapter 5

Two toms sitting in a hollow a few tail lengths away cuz their not gay

Birch, ash, and oak trees are added to the 'trees thunderclan has' list

"Thats treachous talk, kittypet" says the guy who tried to take over all the clans, thus sharing a territory

I like that lionheart supports firepaw's thinking

Thunderclan smells warm, Shadowclan smells sour, Riverclan is...pungent, i guess?

Dust and Sand are such brat siblings

Love the implication that windclan and thunderclan have different stalking types due to their difference in prey, light footed for thunderclan, and maybe heavy on the back legs to make a better kick-off for a run for windclan?

Ravenpaw has been an apprentice for 2 moons, meaning hes 8 moons old, and he probably became an apprentice on the tail-end of longtail's apprenticeship, or just after his warrior ceremony

Chapter 6

Two moons passed, 8 moons old, Raven should be 10 moons

Firepaw can scale ash trees with ease

One of lionheart's favourite phrases is "surprise is the warrior's greatest weapon"

Ok good, the fox was relevant

Thunderclan cats apparently climb trees often, given that halftail apparently used to

Chapter 7

"Easy prey for yellowfang" girl why are you in third person

2 moons in and he already doesnt want to feel pity towards a clearly unwell cat, i can totally see an au where he becomes one of tigerclaw's followers

"You seem in an awful hurry to die" is one of my favourite lines

Arch-cat of stench

Chapter 8

Patrol of tigerclaw, willowpelt, darkstripe, lionheart, and bluestar. One hell of a combo

Yellowfang was spoken of for her bravery and wisdom as a medicine cat, interesting

I like the respect Spottedleaf gives Yellowfang, aware that shes another medicine cat. They've no doubt met before this.

Sympathetic eye narrowing

"We found no bodies from either clan" i call bullshit

"Usually she only trains the kits of her deputies" again, bullshit, but interesting concept

Leaders talking with all their senior warriors and not just their deputy for advice

Cultural respect for healers and elders

Chapter 9

They know the word breakfast

Little grey-and-white kit and a tabby kit, probably swift and one of the frost brothers

"Certainly no hardship being around spottedleaf again" you've exchanged about 3 sentences with her

Willowpelt in patrol with her son again

The double mouse eating scene is always so funny to me

Chapter 10

Queens line their nests with balls of down, which are apparently duck underfeathers

Wow, two-ish moons and firepaw doesnt remember smudge at all

I like the parallel between rusty & greypaw and smudge & firepaw

Its actually kind of unsettling how fast he's forgotten his old life, like wow the cult indoctronation really worked huh

Chapter 11

Ravenpaw tripping over his snake, baby boy

Fluffy gray kit, likely cinderkit, no more than 2 moons, meaning they were newborn when rusty joined

Also a tiny black kit and a tortieshell, mystery kits

Rusty's been there for almost 3 moons

Bluestar has serious trust issues huh

"I think i could grow fond of her" ok yeah i see why bluestar x yellowfang exists

Clawface and Stonefur are considered great warriors, at least to Greystripe

Chapter 12

I forget at this point in the book tigerclaw isn't actually known as a bad guy, hes just grumpy and mildly suspicious

Crookedstar is bigger than Lionheart, which means hes fuckin massive

Brokenstar has been leader for 4 moons as of this chapter, meaning he probably became leader around the time spottedleaf got her prophecy. Causation, perhaps?

Eugh can we stop describing spottedleaf as sweet scented

Ough, littlepaw was definitely lying about his age there

Lionheart banter!

Ravenpaw being a good storyteller is my favourite thing

Ah, brokenstar, you mangy bastard

I like that he paused for dramatic effect though, drama queen

I cant tell if Smallear really is deaf or if hes playing it up so he gets left alone

Chapter 13

"But even he will obey bluestar" only for 3 more books

I like that travelling to the moonstone is one of the apprentice milestones

Spottedleaf get your nose off that apprentice

Chapter 14

Leaders cannot eat before the moonstone journey, interesting

Wow, what a dickhead twoleg, also possibly drunk driving

Chapter 15

Love the idea that tigerclaw is just fucking terrified of the moonstone

So bluestar just implied tigerclaw is spiritually weak, interesting

I love the description of the moonstone, it makes it sound so ethereal

Chapter 16

Barley is short and knows Bluestar

"You are tied to your clan like a queen to her kits" oh you have no idea barley

Barley i love you and your inexplicable rat fighting skills

Firepaw knows how to put cobwebs on

This chapter implies coming back from losing a life can take hours

Chapter 17

Blackfoot you asshole put those kits down!!

Yellowfang i adore you

R.I.P rosetail, we didnt know you existed until this chapter

Nooo grandpa lionheart, poor guy

I think its this point that starts the beginning of bluestar's fall, honestly

Chapter 18

Ah, here's tigerclaw's beginning of evil, starting with appointing his cronies as bluestar's bodyguards

Ooo yellowfang still has pain from that leg injury

Wow Yellowfang just called Blackfoot a stupid tank

Darkstripe really just got call shitstripe, huh?

Oh shit, i always thought darkstripe and longtail were aware of tigerclaw's actions from the start, but hes playing them too

Chapter 19

Spottedleaf you cant just tell apprentices about prophies and not give any context

The authors really dont know how to do a scene change, huh?

Firepaw fights light-pawed

Chapter 20

I cant tell if its clunky writing or intentional but the way ravenpaw describes redtail's death is very storyteller-y

Never use the word suppleness again

Brindle really just had her kits silently huh

Elders wash their ears when their expecting rain, more lore thats never mentioned again

Really cute that whitestorm is sitting guard for his mate and kits

Its been like 4 minutes since firepaw stepped out of the nursery, brindle's in there, how the fuck did the kits get stolen

Firepaw you shared 7 sentences with her, why are you so furious

Chapter 21

Can these grown adults stop sending minors on dangerous missions

"Goodbye, my sweet spottedleaf" EW. EUGH. AUGH.

"One of brindleface's kits has a cough" considering tulipkit dies, yeah, she wasnt lying

Something something clawface being a warrior greypaw respected only for him to kill the med cat and kidnap kits

Frostfur's kits are three moons old

Chapter 22

Brokenstar makes them apprentices at three moons and warriors at five

Marigold and Mint were four moons old

Chapter 23

Third time Willowpelt and Darkstripe are in a patrol together

Oh Whitestorm, your not the smartest tom in the clan, are you

Chapter 24

Brokenstar nearly got scar-at-the-end-of-lion-kinged there

It'd be cool if mr lil tabby kit kept the ear scar, i know he doesnt tho

Chapter 25

Tigerclaw really putting on the sad dramatics there

Fireheart and Greystripe, iconic and fitting names!

My thoughts

Solid 9/10, not perfect, bit clunky, but iconic and nostalgic. Im shocked i remembered basically all of it, even tho last time i read the whole thing was about 6 years ago

I think the chapters are too short in places and cut in weird parts, and the authors cant do a scene change for the life of them, but this was 2009, so its fair. Lets just hope they improve (said the fool, foolishly)

Oh, and the spottedleaf thing was terrible and uncomfortable.

[depoteka]

my ranking and review of all eurovision 2023 songs

(don't expect any intellectual deep dives, i just tried articulating my feelings the best i could but it was hard bc i'm so lukewarm on so many songs. if the reviews don't make sense it's because i wrote them before i used the esc gerbear to sort the places hhh)

37. iceland: diljá - power

it definitely is a song that is competing in eurovision this year and i've listened to it. it doesn't make me feel anything so i don't know what to say. it's a fast pop song but i'm not even vibing to it :( i just don't like it

36. switzerland: remo forrer - watergun

oh switzerland, just because sad boy gjon worked in 2021 doesn't mean you need to keep sending sad boys now... a really boring attempt at an anti-war song

35. cyprus: andrew lambrou - break a broken heart

i don't think i'm really into men singing some heartbreak songs tbh i don't like those howls in the song and the rest sorta sounds imagine dragons-ish to me, the verses at least

34. greece: victor vernicos - what they say

it's cool that he's playing bass in the music video but the song isn't making me feel much. ain't gonna really talk shit about it bc the dude's just 16, i hope he has fun at eurovision

33. italy: marco mengoni - due vite

i like to think italy is my fave eurovision country and then they send a ballad….. i actually watched sanremo (tho i haven't seen any of the nights till the end bc i'm not that strong Yet) and marco wasn't my favourite at all, i was actually surprised how crazy the audience kept going whenever he was performing. of course i can see it getting some good result because it's a classic italian ballad. just not for me

32. ireland: wild youth - we are one

we've got u2 at home/the u2 at home:…. this song has the most generic love love peace peace lyrics ever and whatever unity they are singing about i don't want to be a part of it

31. poland: jann - gladiator blanka - solo

baybeh….it's kinda crazeh… allegedly it was a big radio hit before "winning" the preselections but imma be real with you, i'd never heard it before. it's a harmless pop song without any substance and if it was selected internally i'd be like meh but all the bullshit that went down at our national final makes me mad. i hope we flop hard

30. portugal: mimicat - ai coração

something about it to me feels like early 00s eurovision and i must admit, i don't really like it. though the performance in liverpool might be quite fun

29. romania: theodor andrei - d.g.t. (off and on)

the national final performance of this song is a state of mind. to be frank i feel like the esc fandom is overhating this song, it's not That bad. am i a fan of this song? no. would i like it to see it in the final with the same staging just for laughs? yes

28. israel: noa kirel - unicorn

israel i'm so sorry 0 points……. this song is a disjointed mess to my ears, i think it would've been better if they stuck to just one of the styles they used in this song. all the mentions of unicorns in this song make me cringe. not to mention the "you wanna see me dance?" bit which um, also makes me cringe. no problem with a dance break but why did she have to announce it like that out of nowhere. my favourite part of the song is probably the "u-ni-corn" chant at the very end but other than that eh. this song was written to make the staging crazy and exciting but as a song it doesn't work for me

27. azerbaijan: turalturanx - tell me more

brave of azerbaijan to send two dudes with their song that sound like it teleported itself from an early 00s shitty british movie. that rap part sounds like it's from a corporate song targeted at a young audience to idk make them stop smoking asdfadsf there's something endearing about this song tho

26. uk: mae muller - i wrote a song

i recognize that it's a step in the right direction for the uk and it's a rather fun song but tbh i just don't connect with it. i really liked sam last year and sadly in comparison mae's song seems quite weak to me. though i hope that the (de facto) host country curse doesn't work on the uk this year tho and they don't end up on the very end of the board

25. the netherlands: mia nicolai & dion cooper - burning daylight

ngl i forgot about this song after the first listen. i don't even know what to say about it really, it's just really underwhelming to me. i think i don't actively hate it but i also don't really like it

24. georgia: iru - echo

english grammar rules have left the chat. i'm baffled by the lyrics. but the song overall (along with the video) feels like something from outer space or the future. not in a crazy way tho. i think it has some potential

23. denmark: reiley - breaking my heart

bts are on hiatus so it's his time to shine. no but seriously, there's something so kpopy about this song? i defo like it more than the other "breaking heart" song this year but still. the dude gives me some uncanny valley feeling, especially considering he allegedly pretends to be 5 years younger than he actually is? i love eurovision drama

22. estonia: alika - bridges

we have very few true ballads this year but i think this one's ok!! not a ballad girl myself but i don't mind this one, i like her voice. gives me adele bond theme vibes. i've seen people say alika isn't really selling this song but i saw her national final performance and it seemed fine to me? not much you can really do when you're singing a ballad tbh

21. armenia: brunette - future lover

imma be real with you, i laughed out loud when i first listened to this song because of the lyrics. but i think the song is kinda nice anyway? not a fave but it's nice enough

20. malta: the busker - dance (our own party)

they got sax and in theory i should like it. but i'm not a fan. the whole "ooh i wanna stay at home in my sweater" shtick doesn't work for me. i can see why some people are vibing to this song but it's not doing it for me

19. sweden: loreen - tattoo

i'm a noted hater of sweden at eurovision so don't expect me to say anything nice hhhh the song is rather fine and loreen is fantastic but at the same time i feel like the entire song is just one idea repeated over and over without any sort of variation. her staging at melfest seems quite interesting but overall i don't think this has a potential to win? especially if the people watching in may remember euphoria. tattoo pales in comparison

18. san marino: piqued jacks - like an animal

hear me out………i don't hate this song. yes maybe it's cringe but somehow it keeps getting stuck in my head because it's catchy asdfasdfadsf i'm waiting for the studio version bc it's hard to properly judge it based on the shit sound mix at san marino nf

17. ukraine: tvorchi - heart of steel

was kinda surprised watching vidbir when this won! but then again ukraine keeps giving us different things constantly. i quite like this song but it's also too lowkey for me, nothing to go crazy about. still, it's a vibe

16. norway: alessandra - queen of the kings

ngl when i first heard the song i couldn't understand why people like it so much. now i enjoy it more but i wouldn't say it's a fave of mine? i can see it getting a good result though, there's something very eurovision about it

15. serbia: luke black - samo mi se spava

i feel like technically i should like this song but i….don't. i think the music itself is quite fun but…..the performance makes it seem like it was written for the netflix eurovision movie. something about this guy's voice bothers me. the nail to the coffin for me is the fact that the title of this song sounds close to "samo mi się spawa" in polish which means "it welds on its own for me" instead of "i just wanna sleep" which is what the title actually means 💀 i can't shake this association off and it doesn't help me like this song more

14. slovenia: joker out - carpe diem

at first i wasn't impressed but overall i think it's quite a fun indie/pop rock song!! and it's always nice to hear a native language instead of english

13. lithuania: monika lynkytė - stay

it's a pleasant song and the lithuanian bit is my fave part of the song. overall i don't mind it, but also i'm not crazy about it. sort of disappointed because i really loved sentimentai last year :(

12. belgium: gustaph - because of you

i haven't watched the belgian nf so i don't know what the other options were (that people are so mad about not winning) but i quite like this one!!! it's a bop, makes me wanna dance. i hope gustaph brings some voguing to liverpool

11. moldova: pasha parfeni - soarele şi luna

the only true folk influenced song we have this year, i like it!! it's a banger, it has some sort of flute going on, from what i've seen the lyrics refer to a folk legend? we love it

10. australia: voyager - promise

banger!! pleasantly surprised because i don't think i've ever really really liked any of australia's entries in the past. thought the random high note in the second verse is quite funny to me tbh asdasdfds

9. croatia: let 3 - mama ŠČ!

i think it's more of a whole package where the song doesn't really make full sense without the performance but in some strange way i enjoy the song anyway. the lyrics also are quite understandable in polish which probably also makes it easier for me (and i imagine other slavic people as well) to understand the message without feeling confused about what's going on

8. albania: albina & familja kelmendi - duje

the drama?? i love it. i saw somebody say it feels like a turkish telenovela and they've got a point. it makes me feel something (unlike some other entries) and i appreciate it. plus the instrumental absolutely fucks

7. spain: blanca paloma - eaea

when i first heard the song i didn't understand it at all. i feel like i still don't fully Get it but there's something so fascinating about it to me that i can't stop thinking about it. i'm so confused? but i think it means i enjoy it. definitely something i like more than slomo last year

6. germany: lord of the lost - blood & glitter

yell heah!! germany finally sending something worthwhile. i keep listening to this song on loop, i wanna twerk to it. love the combo of metal AND glitter <3

5. france: la zarra - évidemment

i already liked it at first listen and it keeps growing on me! not a big fan of chanson type of songs but this one is a banger + her look in the music video is gorgeous, i hope she keeps it for liverpool

4. czechia: vesna - my sister's crown

liked it before it was chosen at czechia's national final and was happy when they won but i kinda got bored of it after a month or so? i still think it's a good song (even tho i know people have some issues with it) and i love the mix of three different slavic languages. i think with the right staging they can win me back

3. latvia: sudden lights - aijā

OK OK… when i first heard it i was like ok. but then one evening i randomly found myself watching the moldovan nf and they were guests there and when they played their song in this shitty studio i was like omg it's actually really good?? obsessed with the lullaby bit at the end. i hope to god they qualify, they need to bring justice to latvia after citi zeni's nq last year

2. austria: teya & salena - who the hell is edgar?

what a surprise?? adored it at first listen. it both manages to be a bop while also trying to say something. i loved in corpore sano last year, i love who the hell is edgar this year

1. finland: käärijä - cha cha cha

what can i say......i usually don't really listen to any of the national final songs and just wait for the winner of each one but the thumbnail for cha cha cha music video on yt intrigued me so i watched it. and immediately i wanted käärijä to win eurovision weeks before he even won the finnish nf. the song is sooo addictive and his entire look/performance is hypnotizing. i know he's a favourite to win rn but if he somehow flops in may i'm gonna be really really sad. come on, it's crazy it's party. i think this finnish win would be a really fitting addition to lordi's win in 2006

[secularprolifeconspectus]

I saw this post from a user called weaver-z.

They wrote:

"Something I've noticed about anti-abortion activists is that they will literally never admit that throwing money at pregnant women and "crisis pregnancy centers" will never solve every problem associated with pregnancy (because the world simply does not work like that), so they'll fight you to the death over definitions and semantics and "what a baby is" no matter how clear you make your stance on the matter, and they do this to distract you from their real beliefs: that women deserve less autonomy than a fetus that does not feel, think, or experience anything close to human consciousness."

You're pretty good at answering these types of questions. I was wondering what you thought about it.

There's a lot of layers to this, let's break it down.

They assume consciousness makes us people, and that cognitive inability justifies human inequality (that's ableist).

They assume a human organism must be "like us" to be a person. Firstly, they are like us because they possess they same essential nature as us as members of humankind, which means every ability that we manifest as capability is already and actual latent capacity in their bodies. Secondly, why does sameness matter? Their argument likely boils down to A) "I am not like a reptile", B) "I can't imagine what I would be like without my mind", C) "if I cut off my hand, that is not me", and D) "I am traumatized and using denial to cope". Rebuttals: A) you are actually very much like a reptile, go learn polyvagal theory. Also, is a disabled teen who is no more cognitively capable than a reptile not equal to us? Again, ableism. B) Go learn about embodied cognition theory and Markov blankets. Even the most rudimentary experiences of your zygote fall within the blanket of your mind. C) If you cut off your hand, you wouldn't perceive with it anymore because you are not a part, you are a whole. And your mind, not yet having remapped your hand as not part of your whole, may continue to perceive via a "phantom limb", as in it will register the sensations it anticipates. If I cut you up into enough pieces, you'll be dead, because you are not a part, your mind is comprised of a whole system resisting entropy that cannot be reduced down to a single part. Your zygote was once your organism's whole body. D) People who have experienced sexual violation or reproductive loss will resist this information. Again, go learn polyvagal theory.

The preborn are equal people because from fertilization they are attaining whatever it is that makes us equal people, which means they actually latently possess whatever that is and simply must reveal it through the manifestation of their bodies.

I believe all women deserve to be born. I believe even if a woman is completely helpess and dependent, she has the same right as me to freedom from deliberate violence. All women deserve that level of autonomy, even as embryos in the womb. They find it offensive that I'd dare subject a woman to a clump of cells, I find it offensive that they'd dare dehumanize a prenatal woman to a clump of cells. Let's elevate ALL women to equality, including the women who are preborn.

Women deserve not to have their bodies codified as legal vessels for state-sanctioned violence against the most powerless people. That is abuse of power, and abuse is never justified.

Yes, we can't solve every problem associated with pregnancy, but electively exterminating a person can never be the solution to our problems because human beings are not solutions. We are not means to an end, period.

They point out a legitimate issue with pro-lifers that do think every problem can be solved with money. That simply isn't true. But abortion also doesn't "cure" these issues, it merely "manages" them, and women deserve healing remedies to social ailments rather than superficial treatments.

"Your stance on the matter" used here is a euphemism for "my personal beliefs", which should be separate from law. I don't care what you believe about the preborn, I understand them to rationally be people as the logical conclusion of an argument supported by scientific evidence and philosophical reasoning. My perspective on the matter transcends mere "belief". Get on my level or sit down.

[welcome-to-oslov]

Okay not a dirty whump ask, but so far my imaginging of when Bror & Tilrey get together the first time at some point coming up.

To be clear: I want the scene YOU give us! So don't let us influence you haha.

But, if I were forced to script it, I think Bror would just be the most gentle and caring and sexy lover. With Tilrey, I think he would be about wanting to care for him - he finds him attractive inside & out, but also knows deeply how vulnerable he is and how innocent/inexperienced, even after everything.

So, I don't think it'd be something straightforward like, "I'm so good at sex, let me show you." Rather, physical affection Bror offers building from comfort to turn on. I'm a sucker for massage scenes. Maybe a full body massage Tilrey is able to feel safe in, relax into, his body feeling like these 2+ years of fear, tenseness, and hurt are melting out of it. Eventually Tilrey reaches up to him to kiss him and Bror kisses back and they find they're both so incredibly turned on kissing and embracing each other, Bror continuing throughout to stroke his back and arms and scalp and everywhere he can reach, kneading his muscles and trailing tender touches down limbs and flank and making him feel warm and good and close.

I'd like to think Bror would naturally then reach the point of stroking Tilrey's cock or giving him those blowjobs he comes to love, but not actually, because I think Bror would definitely check in first before making things sexual, knowing he can't know what might make Tilrey feel awful, after how he's been treated. I think Tilrey wouldn't want to lose Bror's physical presense holding him & surrounding him & kissing him during this first time, so Bror disentangling and bending down to give him a blowjob is maybe out at first.

When his hand is finally on Tilrey, still embracing & surrounding & caressing & holding him, I picture his cock feeling more sensitive and wonderful than Tilrey has ever felt since his first times with Dal. He's so turned on, physically and emotionally. He feels cared for and taken care of and safe, which feels incredible and so different from anything he's ever done since he got to Redda.

Not feeling observed, pushed, teased, forced, sick. Wait, but now those feelings from "real life" threaten to spike as his body forces him to realize he's going to need to tell Bror how Malsha tricked him into destroying his ability to come on his own 😥. He wants to come so badly, it's overflowing around him and feels so natural & happy for once. Now mixed with humiliation and tears... somehow Tilrey is able to tell Bror, and Bror takes it in stride, taking on this power to make Tilrey cum while keeping Tilrey feeling hot and safe.

Now, any actual sex between them? I'll leave that to you 😂🥵🔥🔥🔥

I do wonder if Tilrey would even want to be penetrated in his spare time, and if so, whether good sex with Bror would make his next experience of noncon with a councillor he doesn't want and can't say no to feel even worse, nerves more raw and his utter lack of safety & control more acute 👀

I think you just wrote an excellent fic right there! 🙌🔥 I can absolutely imagine it happening this way. Now how would you feel if I stole a few ideas from you? 😏

I have a few different versions of this type of scene in my head, and I’m pretty sure massage was in one of them, because Bror has lovely large hands, as you can imagine. 🥹

[delilah705]

Sometimes, it feels like WWRG Knives kinda wants Reader to see, to experience danger. Whether to actually test himself on if he truly would risk himself to jump in and save Reader or to invest fear into them should they ever wander without him.

If Knives is fully for physically and mentally torturing his fellow twin brother just to prove a hypocritical point, then imagine how far he would go for his unhealthy relationship dynamics with poor Reader.

(He would absolutely take full advantage of our lack of knowledge, I would go as far to say that Knives himself wants to be the only one they stem their values and education from, because he's that controlling and paranoid over loosing them to anyone or anything.)

A cunning trail of manipulation, I suppose I should describe it. Just so he can hop in and destroy said dangerous threat and exhort more control over us. Just so we will have even more doubt about transversing the world around us, relay even more on Knives. He wants to be the center of everything and wants to be the deciding word over everyone else's. While Knives certainly will never want to be anything but independent, he wants his Reader to be completely dependent on him, it's a power-trip, a stroke of ego to hold such decision over someone's life and choices.

I honestly think he'd prefer it most that way even if it does end up hurting us more, sealing us in a mental handicap of manipulated isolation, where any and all events will never end up with a choice for us, not unless Knives 'allows' it to be so, knowing how fucking selfish he is, he always had a knack for destroying the very people he cares about even more then people he doesn't give more then 2 shits about.

XD Oh man, Knives is just the poster boy for toxic yandere boyfriend/husband in this fic I swear. Hero syndrome!! Okay, I didn't dwell on or actually address it much in the fic, but the fact that reader threatened to just leave him behind and live with Margie really burned him up inside. He was fuming. (XD Is this why he decided to leave the ship even though his leg wasn't fully healed? You be the judge)

Oh, yes! And while I never wrote it out, it's something you have to read between the lines for, the reason he's so rough with reader at times is because he's kinda taking his aggression out on her sexually: his frustrations towards humanity, and the way she makes him feel, and even his jealousy.

(XD Ding ding ding! We have a winner! (Oh, boy, now I'm wondering what means he would have went through to get her back if she'd left with Vash instead, and what he'd consider the punishment to be for that.) In fact,… I'd argue he's kind of already done that by keeping her away from humanity so long and convincing her there's no way there could ever be peace and harmony between Plants and humans. For the longest, he and Vash were her only sources of information. And the fact her and Vash went to that town so much and often and made friends and learned things there,… Let's just say maybe that town… <.< Might have been the uh, first place on his hit list.)

Her fear of being entirely alone in an empty world worked entirely in his favor in that regard. He is her "savior from loneliness" so to speak, especially with Vash now gone. Humanity was always the threat, but the introduction of that town really made it so. To his plans especially. Though,… Could that ending of him actually succeeding be a happy one, I wonder? He's such a hypocrite and so selfish in that regard, but the real question, I guess is would he ever change, even with reader's influence? Hm…

Ohhoho. He would. If he'd had it his way, that would have already been so. Even if it meant any knowledge beyond what he and Vash had would not be passed down onto her, he would have preferred it to all come from them, from the "superior breed". He's convinced humanity wouldn't have had anything of value worth teaching that they didn't already possess. It's true. :( So sadly so, because he's shut off his emotions, the things he deems that makes people weak, from the very people he cares about, thus hurting them in the process because he's so touchy in a way he won't admit, that he lashes out the moment he feels there's any threat to his fragile ego.

[ratralsis]

It's the Same Damn Moon, Bud

I can't believe it's been over three weeks since I said I wanted to put some pressure on myself to write about "Slay the Princess," and I didn't do it. I just didn't write!

Instead, I wrote many thousands of words of my actual novel and also spent more than a hundred hours converting dozens of files from one programming language to another for my actual job, which, in case I haven't reminded you in the last few entries (I PROBABLY HAVE, THOUGH), is "computer programmer for large and faceless company you've probably never heard of and have almost certainly been affected by and we like it that way."

So, now, I'd like to write about it. It's been a while since I even played it! I'm going off of memory here, which is one of my favorite ways to write.

Slay the Princess is a visual novel that uses Ren'Py as its engine. It's creaky and not terribly well put-together, but I love it anyway, because that's the kind of gamer I am. I enjoy seeing people do strange and interesting things with engines like Ren'Py, and this is a game that absolutely does that. I imagine that its code is a mess of true/false flags that determine what dialogue appears and what options you can choose at any given point. It's part of who I am, as a computer programmer. I love imagining how things are coded.

When the game starts, you don't have to follow the title directive, that is, you don't have to go slay the princess. You can walk away. You can, in fact, continue walking away over and over until the game ends. There are achievements for it and everything. There are achievements for everything else, too. I normally don't like achievements like these in games. I like them in this game.

What bothers me about achievements in a lot of games is that I just want to play the damn game and be left alone. I want to explore. I want to see things on my own, and sometimes that means missing things. It actually means missing things quite often. I'm okay with that. I believe that everyone should have their own unique experiences when it comes to video games. It is one of the things that makes video games unique.

Recently, Super Mario RPG was re-released on Switch, and several podcasts I listen to covered it. Invariably, the first question asked by one host to the others was "What party are you using?" They all discussed how they played the game as individuals. I love that, even though I think they all made the wrong choice (everybody picks Bowser over Geno, which is simply objectively the wrong choice: Bowser can't use Geno Boost, the best goddamn ability in the game, and his attack power isn't even as high as everyone thinks it is). The fact is, that freedom to choose is what makes games special. Your choices matter. They mean something.

They mean everything.

They are the only thing that means anything.

When I played the demo of Slay the Princess roughly a thousand million years ago, I got every achievement. All the achievements were related to which Chapter 2 I saw. The choices made in Chapter 1 determine how Chapter 2 begins. That makes sense. By replaying and seeing them all, I got a sense of what kind of a game Slay the Princess is.

If you haven't played the demo, but you have played the game, then don't go back to play the demo. It's alright.

If you haven't played the demo or the game, you should probably play the demo. It's very good.

The demo ends very early in Chapter 2. You meet the Princess again, and see what has become of her, and the game ends. Or, really, it restarts. Your choices in Chapter 1 shape who she becomes. Who she is. How she greets you. If you killed her in Chapter 1, she might show up as a ghost in Chapter 2, with an X-shaped scar on her chest from where you plunged your pristine blade into her and pierced her. If she killed you, she might show up as a giant, a monster, physically imposing and powerful and ready to do it again. If you were kind to her, and did everything you could to avoid harming her, then you'll see one of two Princesses in Chapter 2: the Damsel or the Prisoner. My favorite ending of the demo was the Prisoner.

To see the Prisoner, you have to take the pristine blade when you see it in the cabin. You have to listen to the Narrator, who tells you that you have to kill her. You have to go into the basement of the cabin with the pristine blade in your hand. It doesn't matter what you say to the Princess as you descend the stairs. Of course it matters. All of it matters.

What matters more is that you mustn't actually attack the Princess. You must drop the pristine blade and speak to her. She'll speak to you. You can ask her questions, if you want. It doesn't matter, except for the fact that everything you do matters. You can ask her for name. She won't tell it to you. She is simply the Princess. You have to tell her that you don't want to kill her. That you want to rescue her. She's shackled to the wall by her wrist. She tries to gnaw off her arm like a feral wolf in a trap. You have to free her. You use the pristine blade and sever her arm. Good job, hero. She's free. You have to resist the pull of the story's Narrator and warn her that you're being forced to kill her against your will.

She'll take the pristine blade away from you, and, with her remaining hand, cut your throat, killing you.

Chapter 2 begins much like Chapter 1, except now there's an additional voice in your head joining the Narrator and the Hero: the Skeptic. You return to the cabin. The Skeptic forces you to take the pristine blade before you descend into the basement of this new cabin. It's not like the old one. It's fortified. It's solid. There's no escaping this one, and there's no escape for the Princess, either: she now has three chains attaching her to the wall. There's one for a shackle around each of her wrists, and a third iron ring around her neck. Your previous plan won't work this time. You won't be cutting her free.

I loved the Prisoner when I played the demo. She was my favorite. I liked seeing the Skeptic. I liked the idea of approaching the Princess with caution and deciding that I liked her more than the Narrator. That I didn't want to hurt her, but only after I made it clear to her that hurting her was an option. It was a fun story: two people who don't trust each other learning that they can. Then the world conspired to make sure that they couldn't try the same trick twice.

To say I was a bit disappointed by how this turned out in the final version of the game would be… well, it would be exactly right. I was a bit disappointed, but just a bit.

The Princess has a plan to escape, and it's the same plan she had the first time. She won't trust YOU with the pristine blade, so you have to give it to her. If you don't, she beats you up. This is a recurring theme in the game: the Princess beats you up in most of the paths. It's kind of sad, in a way, just how poorly you do in physical confrontations against the Princess, but I suspect that if the game had it the other way around that it would be even sadder. Can you imagine how pathetic a character she would seem if you could just slap her around at your leisure? And how pathetic a character you would be, too, for that matter?

If you trust her with the pristine blade, she will use it to cut through her own neck. This, as you might imagine, causes her to die, and her head hangs on a thin strip of flesh before gravity tears the strip and her lifeless head falls to the floor. But she asked you to take the head with you when you leave the cabin, so that's what I did. I trusted her, and she trusted me, to an extent, and now she was dead. Whatever she had planned, I would go along with it. And so, carrying her corpse's head by its long, beautiful hair, I left the cabin, and she revealed that she was actually still alive, and able to speak, and she thanked me, and then the world ended.

That's what the Narrator said would happen if I didn't slay the Princess, and I had not, in fact, slain the Princess. The Narrator was right. The world ended. Ghostly hands appeared from nowhere and they took her head away, and I saw myself in a mirror, and the voices of the Narrator and the Hero and the Skeptic fell away and I was left in the void at the end of the world with those magical hands puppeting the corpse of the headless Princess I had just saved, the one I had spent a hundred million years wondering about, wondering who she really was, what her real name was, how she was meant to end the world. Here she was, dead and possessed and confused and doing her best to give me the answers and not yet able. But she would be, if I kept going. If I started over. If I went back to Chapter 1, with no knowledge of what I had just done, and tried again, tried something different, because I would be forced to try something different, so that I could bring a new vessel to this Princess made of hands in the void at the end of the world.

What else could I do?

The game opens with this message:

Whatever horrors you find these dark spaces, have heart and see them through.

There are no premature endings. There are no wrong decisions.

There are only fresh perspectives and new beginnings.

This is a love story.

And it's true. There are no wrong decisions.

In fact, none of the decisions you make matter at all, except for all of them, and they are the only things that do.

And I did, in fact, love the Princess, and I wanted to know her better, the way one might love a statue, or a painting, or a god, and wish to know it better.

So back into the cabin I went, at the start of Chapter 1. I couldn't make the same decisions this time around. The game would not let me. So I chose a new Chapter 2 this time: the Tower.

I'll spare you the details of each choice I made. All of them mattered, but I'll tell you a secret. I'll tell you something that I've not seen a single write-up of Slay the Princess tell me, and I sincerely believe that it's the most important thing of them all: I keep saying all of your choices matter. And that's true: they do.

But they only matter to you.

My choices, the ones that I made, only matter to me.

The fact that I sent the Prisoner to the Princess made of hands first matters only to me.

The fact that I sent the Tower to the Princess made of hands second matters only to me.

The fact that I sent the Damsel to the Princess made of hands third matters only to me.

The fact that I sent the Fury to the Princess made of hands fourth matters only to me.

The fact that I sent the Witch to the Princess made of hands fifth matters only to me.

It is the only thing that matters when one plays Slay the Princess. What do you do? What do you choose? Who are you, to the Princess? Who are you, to yourself? This doesn't matter to anyone else. Nobody else will ever, ever care.

Even the Princess doesn't care. The Princess made of hands will finally gain enough knowledge after the fifth vessel brought to her to regain her full consciousness, and you will have an opportunity to speak with the Narrator a final time before you meet her. He will answer some of your questions.

So will she, each time you see her.

I won't bore you with the details.

What matters is that the Princess, as we all suspected, those of us who played the demo, and who played it dozens of times to see everything we could, is indeed a Lovecraftian cosmic horror. She contains multitudes. She contains all the vessels we gave to her and more. She is all of them. She is change incarnate: the Shifting Mound is her name. She was never a Princess, but that's how you saw her. You saw a Princess before, but now she is a goddess capable of destroying universes, and she wants you to join her, to take her many hands and end this world just like the Narrator said she would.

You have choices here, of course, just as you had them every other step of the way. None of them matter any more or any less than any other choice you've made. What did you ask the Narrator when you had the chance? It doesn't matter. What vessels did you bring to the Shifting Mound? Doesn't matter. You'll reach this point no matter what you chose, unless you ended the game early. Here you are, and here she is, and now you have a new set of choices.

I didn't want to kill her.

I didn't want to destroy the universe.

So I didn't.

I went back to the cabin, one last time, along with the voice of the Hero. The Narrator was gone, but I was there, and the voice of the Hero was there, and the pristine blade was there. I chose not to take it.

The princess greeted me as I made my way down the stairs for the final time. "And there you are," She said. "Hands empty. So you don't feel like reacreating our first meeting detail for detail. I wonder what else will be different."

She misspelled the word "recreating." That bothered me. I wonder if it was ever fixed. I saw several updates saying that typos were fixed, but I haven't checked this one in a while.

I learned later that this can be different if you didn't take the pristine blade with you when you first met her the first time you played through Chapter 1, but it doesn't matter any more than anything else.

I told her I didn't want to be a god, and she said she didn't, either. I asked her to leave the cabin with me, and she agreed.

I told her I loved her.

She was embarrassed, and said she loved me, too, but didn't want to be all sappy about it.

We left the cabin.

The game ended.

I was told that my unique path through the game would be represented by "Our Song," and here it is.

And none of this, none of it, matters, except to me, and to me, it's the only thing that does.

The game has a lot of achievements. I mentioned that before. No matter what you do, you'll unlock achievements. If you meet the Witch in Chapter 2, you can gain enough of her trust to get her to agree to climb the stairs out of the cabin with you. You can let her go first and stab her in the back, or you can go first and she'll stab you in the back. These choices are mutually exclusive, and each have their own achievement. This encourages you to see everything. To see how much and how little each choice you make matters. To encourage you to keep replaying the game, to get your perfect "Our Song," to see all of her forms and her shapes and how you can shape her, and that is what you do with your choices.

The Princess, the vessel for the Shifting Mound, is a reactive creature. You are the only thing in the game world that makes choices. She will always react to you coming down the stairs with the pristine blade with the same dialogue each time you do so. It's mechanical. It's a computer program. There's nothing random about it. There are no ghosts in this machine: she is only a machine. Your choices are all that matter, even though none of them do. You will, no matter what you choose, eventually reach a point where the world ends and the hands of the Shifting Mound appear from nowhere to claim a new vessel. Sometimes the vessel is nothing more than a heart, cut out from a body made of metal blades. Sometimes the vessel is so large that all you can see is the giant head, hands of the Shifting Mount covering its eyes. Sometimes the vessel is a head and torn-open torso without a heart at all, and sometimes the vessel is a beast, a six-legged lion, a ghost, or a rotted skeleton.

It doesn't matter. The Shifting Mound does not care.

Some of her dialogue does change, it turns out. The first couple of times you see the Shifting Mound, her dialogue is always the same, but if the vessels liked you, or made it outside, then some of the Shifting Mound's dialogue is more positive. If they didn't like you, if you were always hostile and cruel, then some of her dialogue is more negative about the world outside. It's subtle, but it's true. I can prove it. I've seen it.

But nothing will change the fact that, after the fifth vessel is taken, you will face off with the Narrator and then with the Shifting Mound, and then you have to make your choices. How does the game end? Do you end the universe with her? Do you kill her, once and for all? Do you leave the cabin with her for an unknown world where neither of you are gods? Do you kill her in the cabin and start the entire cycle over once again, either kicking the can down the road or, perhaps, perpetuating a cycle that's always been happening and always will?

No matter what you choose, you will find a page that tells you "Our Song." And it will be yours, and yours alone, and it will matter only to you.

According to deeply-flawed website Goodreads.com, the sex-and-alcohol-loving Buddhist monk Ikkyu once said that "Many paths lead from the foot of the mountain, but at the peak we all gaze at the single bright moon." In other words, just because the ending is the same, everyone can take their own path to get there.

You won't see that in a movie, or in a novel. You might think you're being clever by saying "What about Choose Your Own Adventure novels?", but fuck you, those are just single-player games, and so is Slay the Princess. It's a single-player game, and it has the same final screens no matter what you do, except for the fact that we all took a different path there.

Statistically, given enough players, I'm sure that someone else has or will get to the ending the same way that I first did. And that's okay. Ikkyu didn't say that everybody was unique, and neither shall I.

All I'll say, and what I think Slay the Princess is saying, even if the writers didn't mean for it to, is that your choices matter, even if they don't seem like they do. Even if they don't matter to anyone else.

So choose carefully. It all matters.

[starlitangels]

Okay, so I'm not sure if my first ask went through or not. There seemed to be a lil glitch, so I'm sending this again. If there are two asks from me in your box, please ignore one of them!

I'm going to ask a few, but feel free to pick and choose. Thank you!

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

and... dealer's choice! What's one ask you want to answer but haven't yet?

Hello my friend! I did not receive your original ask so there's no worries!

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

Literally anything from anything Avior I've written (like Avior washing Starlight's hair after Starlight took a tumble) but specifically the moment in "You're Mine (I Don't Share)" where Avior is losing control of his magic and his eyes are glowing like small suns and the magic cloaking his horns is wavering. I always imagined them shimmering like the heat mirage on a hot road I live in a desert it's normal to see on the highway in summer

That would look super cool.

Also just about any of the interactions between Elliott and Aaron that I've written.

Or or or! Hang on! I would love to see someone's interpretations of the (no powers) rockstar!AU I've dabbled in. That would be amazing!

I am also always enamored when people draw the Pups AU kiddos even though I haven't written anything for them for a long time just because of how touched I am that someone liked what I wrote enough to make art of it even though the characters are original, so more of that would be adored.

There are so many others but this is already long so I'm gonna move on

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

This is gonna sound kinda dumb, but genuinely, leave the house. When I stay inside for too long I stagnate creatively. And I find inspiration in all the little things. A good long walk is great. Going grocery shopping, even. But other excursions are also a massive help.

I also think a lot in the shower. Great idea generator there.

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

I'd hope the variety in it. I try different things a lot. I'm usually a "Fluff" writer but I love good angst and I like trying other framing devices. Like sometimes writing from the Redacted voiced character POVs (which I've only done like twice but it was fun both times). I like trying different things.

I also hope my attempts at humor in the narration is distinct for me. I love using humorous lines to show internal emotions without actually having to spell out their thoughts in italics. Outwardly everything is one way but the internal monologue of the character is the exact opposite. I think that's fun

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Yes! I write about the same kinds of stuff all the time. I use the word "just" way too much. I start a lot of sentences with some form of "Honestly" or "To be honest."

In my normal not-fanfiction writing I write a lot of the same things in different attempts at plots. Lots of abandoned WIPs featuring mermaids, princesses, magic, people with wings, some pirates, werewolves and vampires... yeah. My most common settings on those kinds of things is either Contemporary/Normal Earth But With Fun Stuff Going On (IE Mermaids or Werewolves) or Generic Fantasy-Land #38459886

I think my most common theme since getting married has been "the healthiest relationship I can feasibly portray while also letting it be A Teensy Bit Spicy™"

Dealer's Choice! 51. What’s your total AO3 word count?

This one I'm doing just to flex /j

This is my total Audio RP AO3 word count. As in, the Redacted and Good Boy Audios stuff I have on AO3 under the StarlitAngels pseud. Nothing from my other works (which are all short and bad and old), and not including a handful of GBA stuff I haven't posted to AO3

Ready?

As of right now, with everything newly updated:

574,538

... Yup.

[izzyliker]

I love looking at ofmd through a class lens your meta is on poiiint.

Ive also seen the argument that Izzy is being toxic and unreasonable by not getting with the program and changing to fit the crew bc Stede's reality warping powers means that's a good move. But they're not real! Stede doesn't have powers! There ARE consequences to Stede's bullshit and both him and his crew pay for it multiple times, it just gets played for laughs. Stede nearly gets killed directly as a result of him being a privileged idiot living in fantasy land, they crash their ship, and with the oranges situation (that Stede caused!) the Swede loses teeth and the crew has to do hard labor to get oranges while Stede fucks around in the forest even though he could have presumably just bought the oranges.

Like. To me this reads as Stede is running a startup anyone with sense would know to avoid no matter how well he pays bc it WILL crash and burn any day soon with no warning, and no matter how much your boss insists this company is a family you Know as soon as shit hits the fan he will leave you to hang either bc he's incompetent or doesnt actually care about you as a person. And in the canon context if he fucks up people have a high chance of not surviving it, not just losing their income.

I like Stede as a character, I think he really wants to TRY earning success and a life he loves by the end of the season and I want to see him grow into an actually good leader at some point, but I know in my bones that irl I'd hate his guts bc I've had bosses like him before and they suck. If it was firmly a romantic comedy Id be more inclined to let it go as part of the allowances of the genre but it's not, the genre changes wont let me. Ive worked IT for the government, useless coworkers and bosses that literally cant get fired no matter how much more work they cause everyone else are a plague on my house and I cant imagine how stressed out Id be if going to the office carried a high risk of death. Izzy is being very reasonable actually I would have snapped worse lmao

Also I dont think Izzy is being a toxic friend in trying to remove Ed from Stede's influence when 1) he knows Ed gets caught up and lost in other people bc of Jack, 2) Ed has said to Izzy's face that he'd like to try dying, and 3) Izzy knows following Stede is suicidal. He doesnt get to see anything that would temper his view that this is what's happening either! Every instance of Stede showing potential as a pirate captain Izzy is not there! And Ed doesn't say anything to him to convince him this isnt the situation!

He is however losing it by the end of the season, that's where Izzy fucks up big and loses a toe for it lol

TBH big agree - i think izzy is REALLY MEAN to ed (and both crews) in several instances and i keep having to rewatch to remind myself of the fact that even when he Has A Point he’s still often going at it in ways that are Kinda Awful, but like he’s NOT some homophobic no fun allowed villain people seem to think he is. like bros literally surrounded by people who are utterly incompetent and refuse to do their job meaning You have to do it and there is nothing he can do about it LOL. someone wrote a modern au r/amitheasshole type post about this exact scenario actually where stede owns a startup and ed decides to merge his business with his failing scam of a company, i’ll try to dig it out bc it was hilarious

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

Same anon with the "GW not bad for Faerghus" ask. Yeah, I could read your answer now :) and uh, about that person who got pissed bc of what you wrote about Petra. Why some people can get upset that much about fictional characters and act like they got attacked personally will always be beyond me. Sadly you can see it happen everywhere on the internet, especially in the Three Houses/Hopes discourse. But you didn't even write something bad about Petra!? lol Anyway, hope you have a nice day! :)

LOL Yeah, some people are so childish when people have something critical to say about their faves. Apparently that person couldn't see past her skin color, because that's not even what I was thinking about when I mentioned that I don't like how she was handled in GW with the whole "taking Faerghus' political power in a country/continent she doesn't even belong to". If nothing else it was me being aggravated that she's the queen of somewhere outside of Fodlan but wants to be actively engaging with the politics of the continent holding her as a hostage. Also, why would you want to replace Faerghus and have them out of power so you can get in there to take their place? Wouldn't you, you know, prefer to see the people who have you as a hostage removed from power? It's another issue with the whole thing about Petra seeming to love being in Fodlan and being buddy buddy with Edelgard and the Empire despite that her reason for even being there is awful.

It's not just even that that person completely failed to understand a single thing I was saying, but they clearly didn't even pay attention to the context of the post because it had nothing to do with Petra overall. I just wrote some venty tags about how I don't like her treatment in Hopes, and I especially don't like her trying to take power from innocent people who are being oppressed for no reason (similar to her situation no less). I'd imagine from her perspective, she would be against all of that.

Yet somehow there are actually people who just see that someone doesn't like the actions written for a poc character and assume it's simply because of color and race. Like... yikes. If she were white I would've said the thing. It's always crazy to me how people point the racist finger while being racist themselves and not really paying attention to the actual content of the matter. Also, apparently you have to be white to be critical of anything a poc character does (which is racist lol). Very wild.

If you're gonna have meltdowns and act like a two year old who is upset that they didn't get a snack today, you should probably stay off the internet. Also, not everyone in the world bases their opinions of fictional characters around skin color, and that's exactly what that weirdo made the whole thing out to be. Big yikes.

Thank you and I hope you also had a good day when you sent this and a good day after! Also a good day every day aside from those days. Good days, they are good.

[brick-a-doodle-do]

Hmmmmmmmmm

Irza definitely has a temper but he also has the "I really don't care" behavior. If he caught Vara he probably wouldn't hurt the cat, he'd be more confused bc fairies exist in that world but fairies are actually treated horribly and used in potions.....he'd wonder why a wingless fairy (which isn't too strange since some will just have wings taken and then be tossed aside...) has cat features and is even in his house. But that's it the borrower was actually living in his house.—There's also the chance he finds the borrower outside, which would mainly end with him staring and walking away unless an accident got Vara into a pocket or bag...

And if he was caught? Irza wouldn't touch it, he'd use his shadows and just trap their legs in place. Then you'd have to get through his questioning bc there's no way he wouldn't be suspicious of a tiny person in his house

Some thoughts I had for aus would mainly be Irza as the giant bc yes...and I'd make several different ones, I love first meetings and I can't decide which one is better so I'll use em all. Vara would be the gentlest giant but he'd get his hands really chewed on by Irza, that guy won't change at all! The ideas go from doing crossovers to my fairy story, borrower, and even just someone shrinking them. There's so many powers in their world, who's to say someone can't change the sizes of things?

And I didn't even realize the nom compatible thing with Irza until recently

Vara finding tiny little villain Voidshire instead of a fight and having to argue with himself over whether to turn him in or help him...btw tho bc of Vara's mixed races he has huge cat instincts so that would be possible for like mouthplay but probably not anything more, you just gotta be careful bc he reacts to everyone like that...but he's so nice he catches bugs and mice and releases every one outside. Irzayn hates mice bc of them eating his homework the one time (which was just a really funny canon thing), but this also means if he doesn't see that the borrower is humanoid he could very well kill them by impulse

Song that fits Vara: Luke Bryan—Most people are good

We all love the sweet Varazae cat

And if that's what you think~~ Ezephr would say thank for mwahahaha (there is such a deep reason that mixes all of the above into that answer bc he'd be smiling while being killed and thanking his killer)

okay okay you got me to read it and of course now i have to answer

whaa fairies exist?? elaborate?? what purpose do they serve??? also in and case i love that they do bc i can imagine vara being pretty lost if irza ever addresses his confusion- (as a borrower, would vara know about fairies?)

OOO tinies falling into bags is the BESTTTTT (btw becky if you see this, you somehow always manage to stroll right down my alley every single time with your fics!!! how do you do that?? it's so cool >:DDD or. new theory. you writing the fics makes the trope automatically top tier because you wrote it :00)

AHHHH i loveeeeee the shadow thing oh my GOD that would be so confusing for vara and AJJFSAJSDJ ksdkasdasdasdsads multiple hands in g/t is rarely touched but i think it's pretty cool- i mean i know it's not directly irza's hands but STILL that concept is just /pos to me :D

ah yes the good ol' interrogating a terrified borrower :D <3

yesss g!irza >:3c

AHHH these ideas are all so lovely and LMAO for irza eating vara's fingers AJVDS i bet he'd try and get vara's claws to use for personal use like a new and improved hook JDSJ (the only thing on my mind when i type that is the line from 30 rock "gimmie your fingernails!" "no!" LMAOAOO)

i like the lane of someone having sizeshifting powers. maybe some person is tired of their hero/villain bickering and just shrink one of them to force them to stop and focus on something else FDLDSJAJA

aw everyone just finds all the right g/t buttons for me- fucking tinies helping their human? FUCK YEAH!!!

LMAO they ate his homework??? 😭😭 that is genuinely the best thing i have heard about this au ever- it's the useless bit of canon that makes my brain go brrrrrr like that thing with curiositybur will never fail to make me happy. the fact that serenityinnit just walks around staring at the world like he's never seen it before (which he hasn't) is FUNNY and USELESS but the BEST

ooooooo vara's gotta run off of reflexes then, let's hope he survives!

OO that's a cool song! usually country isn't my jam (is that considered country?) but that is an exception fs!

yesyesyeys beloved catboy

and hmhmhhmhmmhmhmmhhmmhm love him smiling, i strive to be ezephr when i'm being killed :D