undiscovered-horizon - Tumblr blog

undiscovered-horizon · 3 months

Note

I have a ton of feelings and I want to share

Do you ever think about how Mihawk may present himself as a fearless, emotionless, invincible swordsman (he IS the strongest in the world, after all!), yet also know that he was once (and perhaps always will be, deep within and hidden) a boy who tasted defeat, and fear, far more times than he can count even now? That sometimes, alone, in his castle, glass of wine in hand, he wonders if all the pain he put his child-self through was worth it in the end? He ended up at the top. But he ended up at the top alone, and unmovable. When he goes to bed, and catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, does he see that boy? Does he feel like he has done him right, or wrong? Does he wonder if anyone else will ever remember that child, or the image that Mihawk has carved himself into? Does he look at the boy he used to be, and feel he could still be him? Will that child be happy? Will it matter? He's unsure. Perhaps Mihawk fears that the answer will be that the boy shall only be remembered in mirrors, that will be empty once Mihawk himself is gone?

Anon, I fear your feelings have awakened my feelings but in a slightly different way.

I know you're asking about Mihawk specifically but I feel like a lot of these thoughts are applicable to most people on Earth. Below the cut there is a whole rant (vaguely connected to the person of one Dracule Mihawk), so beware! :D

Perhaps he does ponder about the boy he used to be. We all do. Have we done the right thing? Do we honour our past selves and the things they have done for us? Maybe we realize that what we had done years ago was foolish and destructive. Maybe we had banged our heads against the wall just to feel something. Maybe we jumped at the deep end, gasping for air and doing everything not to drown.

Could things have been done differently? Yes, they could. Would it change the present moment? Most probably. Would it change it for the better or for the worse? There is no way to know. There is no way to ever know.

He probably never will be the boy he used to be and there's nothing bitter or scary about that. It's growing-up, it's life. We change. Everything constantly changes. And it's about as terrifying as it is beautiful. Tomorrow he is going to be a different person that he was yesterday and that's true about all of us. Is it so bad? Is it so bad to be ebbing and flowing like a river, never quite static but never quite unstable? If Mihawk does fear he will never feel juvenile excitement and wonder, I hope he realizes those things are still within him. They never left. They never do. There's just a lot piled up on top of them, mainly experience that comes with life and its baggage. Perhaps he's seen too much grief to ever be excited without a cause. But a toddler does just that, don't they? They fall and scrape their knees, cry at the horrible situation, only to laugh a few minutes later. Because grief and joy are not a zero-sum game. They exist independently and it is our choice, which one we deem more important.

And the child-like wonder? If you've seen all the world has to offer, you may think there's nothing to be amazed about. Nothing to scratch that itch, the longing for adventure and novelty. But what if you changed the narrative? What if you learned to feel wonder and awe for mundane things? Of course, Taj Mahal or the Pyramids are wonderful. Literal "Wonders" at that. But another wonderful thing are ducks or the first crocus after a cold winter. And there's nothing special about those, nothing 'once-in-a-lifetime'. The mundane is boring only to an inexperienced eye and a cynical heart. I hope Mihawk can learn. I hope we all do.

There's not a person in this world who hasn't felt regret. Not a person who hasn't once asked "was it really worth it?". Perhaps Mihawk might feel as though he had thrown his life away to become the greatest swordsman - that he put a child through misery to wear an arbitrary crown. But it's not quite true. It wasn't a grown man who made that choice but a young boy. And that young boy thought it was worth it. That young boy became an adolescent who still thought all of it was worth it. All of it was their choice. Now that he is a grown man, he may wonder whether it was wise or worth it. The truth is, the answer doesn't matter. It can't change anything. The only thing he is in control of is the present. You are where you are, so what are you going to do with this? Dwell on regrets and hypotheticals or accept it and strive for a better future? Mihawk has every right to wonder whether he made the right decisions, it's only natural. But I hope he doesn't dwell on them too long. I hope he recognizes that following his ambition truly set his soul on fire, made him feel alive. Even if now he thinks it wasn't quite smart. Hopefully, he can recognize the drive and grit that little boy had to stick to his guns. And if that young boy, at some point frail and uncoordinated and with missing teeth, could become the greatest swordsman, perhaps the greatest swordsman can become happy. After all, it's just one thing to do, isn't it?

Call me naive but I don't believe anyone is ever completely alone. Of course, in some way everyone is lonely because everyone is different: their experiences, their personality, their abilities, etc. But in a social sense, no one is alone. I think of the dorm guard who wished me good appetite when he saw me entering the building with a pizza box; I think of the stranger who once asked me for a tampon; I think of the stranger who sits behind me in class and borrows me a pen because I don't carry one; I think of my hairdresser who always listens to my petty complains about life; I think of the guy in high school who invited our whole year to a party except for me because I stood up to him when he was rude to another classmate; I think of my dormmate who never speaks to me; I think about the stranger who offered to wash our clothes together when there wasn't a washing machine available for me; I think of the homeless man who promised to pray for my family when I gave him spare change. No one is truly alone although sometimes it might feel like it. Sometimes we just can't see it. And sometimes, though terrifying, we must be the first one to reach out. There is someone who wants to carry the burden of your worries, who wants to hear your silly thoughts and pipe dreams.

When it comes to thinking about defeats and failures, it's also a completely natural thing. Mihawk may think of all the times he lost, all the times when he did something wrong. All of the instances when he thought he was done for. He may also focus on the other side of things: of all the times he got up after falling. All the times he refused to give up. All the times when he was afraid and still pushed on. Perspective changes a lot of things, literally and figuratively. What he is now, is an altar to all the things that he was. All of his defeats are an altar to all of his victories. The same way of thinking applies to every person on the planet: every finished story is an altar to the unfinished ones, not their graveyard. All the love you share is an altar to all the confessions you've never made. All of your pain is an altar to your grit. All of your past fears are an altar to your courage. It's like in Rumpelstiltskin - spinning hay into gold. It's not easy but it is vital.

All in all, I wish Dracule Mihawk realizes that the man he is now is an altar to the boy he once was.

Pride is, well, a quite common subject. People often ask themselves "would X be proud of me now?". I often ask myself "if my grandfather was still alive, would he be proud of me?". Part of me says yes, because he always loved his only granddaughter above all things. But then I realize, that it doesn't matter. I shouldn't live my life according to what I think this deceased loved one might think. Would my 5-year-old self be proud of me? Maybe but it doesn't matter. If you get too hung up on the past, you forget to look ahead. Most importantly - you forget to look around now. There's a saying: "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery". The only thing we have is this very moment and discarding it to ponder on the what-ifs and could-have-beens is wasteful. As much as he might want to know, I hope Mihawk realizes that it doesn't matter whether his younger self would be proud of him. He should focus on what his current self desires and strives towards.

The truth is, no one is going to remember who you were as a 5-year-old. Maybe except for your parents. As terrifying as it might sound, one day no one is going to remember any of us ever existed. With Mihawk it's slightly different, because I'm sure that "the greatest swordsman" is going to be remembered one way or another. Exceptional people usually are. Still, even if at some point the whole world forgets him as it will surely do with us, there is nothing scary about it. At least there shouldn't be. Our lives are small and majorly insignificant in the grand scheme of things but it should be a reason for joy - you can't mess up so bad the world stops spinning. You fail, you fall, you make a fool out of yourself, you hurt someone. So what? The world carries on. In a hundred years no one is going to remember you. So what? You live on. You brew your coffee, read your book, water your plants. You take joy in your small life, each mundane day filled to the brim with very essence of being a human. You listen to the cars outside and the barking dog. You think to yourself "how lovely it is to be here now". And one day, when death knocks on your door, you will look at your old coffee mug, the worn-out book and the withering plants and you will say "how lovely it was to be here".

Instead of thinking about life as a checklist and a scoreboard, think of it as an ongoing immersive experience. Because that's what it really is. It's a scientific accident that any of us is here, so why not make the most of it? Milk the one chance you have? Not drown in sorrows over the past or anxieties of the future but the joy of the present.

I know 99% of this is a tangent about life and all but I'm not sorry.

2 notes · View notes

undiscovered-horizon · 3 months

Note

Hello! I have no requests because I don't want to bother you, but let me tell you, your Mihawk work has to be the BEST I have ever read and you should be extremely proud. I absolutely adore it and I am extremely thankful to you for writing it. ❤️

Oh my, thank you so much!! Your words mean a lot to me. I'm honoured to be held in such high regard.

Thank you, anon💕💕

1 note · View note

undiscovered-horizon · 3 months

Text

some days, when my mood is too good, I just think about a Raphael x Reader where Reader is the cambion's spouse and witnesses Tav and The Gang (TM) killing Raphael, unable to do anything about the situation. Bonus points if Raphael gets to say his last goodbye while in agony

Do the heroes of the Sword Coast spare the spouse? Do they offer apologies or an explanation? Or perhaps they continue their slaughter and kill the spouse too?

have a lovely Monday yall :)

#bg3 #bg3 x reader #bg3 fanfic #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 raphael #raphael the cambion #raphael x reader

18 notes · View notes

undiscovered-horizon · 3 months

Note

I LOVE your Dream of the Endless fics!! Are you still writing for him? 🖤🖤

I can write if you can give me an idea/a prompt, love !!

2 notes · View notes

undiscovered-horizon · 3 months

Text

because of medication shortage, today is my first day off slow-release ADHD medication and it made me realize a thing or two:

You mean to tell me I've been feeling like this my whole life and only two years ago I realized that this state is less than ideal??? I'm honor citizen of delulu island bc what is this

(thankfully I do have regular/instant-release medication, so I can effectively study for finals)

#adhd #it's actually funny to me #bc this really puts into perspective my experience and symptoms #the brain fog and flailing my limbs to ease the tension and the anxiety #hopefully concerta will get restocked soon #otherwise im in for a fun ride #anyway back to studying psychology mmkaybye #adhd problems #adhd things

58 notes · View notes

undiscovered-horizon · 3 months

Text

[When the curse activity rises around the country, you reluctantly return to the school to help the sorcerers. Gojo Satoru seizes the opportunity to plead the case of his lovesickness. If you came back, maybe you and him can come back together, too?]

You've often wondered how it would feel to come back. Would you be excited? Or would the weight of the memories push you to the ground? How many things would be different and how many would you recognize?

A bitter chuckle leaves your mouth. You're a grown woman and yet you're nervous like an 8-year-old with mismatched socks. The overhead sign Jujutsu Tech feels imposing as though the genius loci of the school is telling you to turn back and leave; just like it did when you were a teenager, entering an unfamiliar world of unfathomable possibilities. The girl you used to be, afraid of what the future is bound to hold, could never imagine the respect and awe with which your name is spoken now. It's almost miraculous, really.

But there are more important things at hand than melancholy.

You sigh, pushing yourself to walk forward. The rock steps feel the same under your feet as they did years ago, the wooden floorboards inside the entry room still creak in the same note. For what it's worth, nothing about Jujutsu Tech seems any different than it did then.

Nothing.

You know very well he's sitting in the corner, staring at you. It's a habit he has picked up quite a long time ago - watching, observing, studying. He used to do that only to learn a few things about you and appear as charming as he possibly could. But with time this little unnerving habit stuck around.

At first, he looks laid-back. Overconfident, as he usually is. Although you know him a little too well and so you notice the way he's crossing his arms on his chest, his shoulders tense and raised. The greatest sorcerer in the world is nervous when in the presence of his high school sweetheart.

"Long time no see, Satoru," you finally speak up.

"You're even prettier than I remember," he answers, bothering to sound casual. He almost succeeds.

"And you're exactly the same, it seems."

You stare him up and down. The blindfold in place of sunglasses and the plain, black robes make him appear more professional. Still, Satoru's untamed white hair gives him a juvenile look. Maturity is supposed to arrive with age but perhaps the age arrived alone in his case.

Gojo sits further back on the old couch. He rests his hands behind his head. A half-grin curves his lips - the very same smile that always made you equally annoyed and weak in the knees. Truly, if Satoru wasn't as charming as he is, you'd have strangled him years ago.

"Ah," he sighs. "Perfection can't be improved."

Crossing your arms on your chest, you give him a playful look. "Then how come I'm supposedly prettier?"

Suddenly, Gojo leans forward. "Good question." He rubs his chin in faux thoughtfulness. You've learned better than to trust his little theatrics, no matter how amusing they are. "I never understood how this works. Just when I thought you're equal to a goddess, you make all of them look plain."

You feel your hands shaking. If your heart doesn't slow down soon, you might have a serious problem. As warm as your face gets, you hope the blush is not visible. How embarrassing to fall again for his wax poetic right away...

Trying to hide how flustered his words have made you, you force out a chuckle. "Gojo Satoru, always the sweet-talker, eh?"

Despite your best attempt at dismissing the entire situation, the man in front of you seems to have caught on to your bashfulness. After all those years, has he been craving to see you blushing and giggling again?

"If you keep saying my name like that, I might fall in love with you," he warns you half-heartedly.

The realization hits you at one moment. Something you've been suspecting, maybe hoping for even, has been proven right between his smooth talking and shaky breaths. Now that you think about it, it's all painfully obvious: how excited he seems to see you again, the immediate rush to dish out compliments and the rather poor attempt at appearing all suave and laid-back.

"You never fell out," you declare with undeniable certainty in your voice. "Did you?"

Something about the air changes instantly. The sparks of a maybe-rekindled romance have gone out, leaving both of you cold and distant towards each other.

Those few seconds of silence feel almost like hours. The quietness is ringing in your ears, pushing at your thoughts to say something. Anything! Just stop this suffocating unease from eating you alive.

This time, it's Gojo who breaks the silence first. "I stand by what I said back then: you're the one for me. It's either you or no one."

Fortunately, unforeseen aid comes almost immediately - before the tension between the two of you could choke you, a cacophony of teen voices, seemingly engaged in a loud feud, echoes throughout the building.

687 notes · View notes

undiscovered-horizon · 4 months

Note

Hi, I read a few of your posts and I really liked your writing. May I ask a hcs/drabble/one shot of ONE PIECE with Shanks (and Mihawk if it’s possible) who are in a relationship with a woman who have her own crew and the woman flee away in their sleep, leaving them behind, with her crew after years of relationship? A bit angsty 🙊 and they never found her again, seeing her in newspapers or rumors only.

Thank you if you made it and sorry if It doesn’t suit your blog! Have a nice day <3

At first, he though he read the title wrong. But no matter how many times his eyes glided across the black ink, the newspaper headline said the exact same thing: BLACK TOOTH GRINS: A NEW SCOURGE?

There was a picture attached underneath the title. Part of him thought that maybe the familiarity in the woman’s face was just his longing; a product of a mind too lovesick to hold on to sanity. Alas, this time, too, his senses were not deceiving him.

It is your face. You're alive and well as it seems. Looking exactly the same as the day you had left.

The heartache comes back to him tenfold. Not it has ever left but the pain and anger are now suffocating. So many months have passed when he hasn't heard from you as though you've suddenly ceased to exist. No one has heard about you, no one has seen. How can a whole person just vanish? At some point, he told himself that maybe you've met your end. It was entirely possible.

But nothing has prepared him for this. To realize that he was abandoned by the one he loved.

The anguish slowly fades into numbness like a radio falls silent after piercing ears with static. Everything stands still as he recalls the day some part of him had died:

"Greatest swordsman in the world" is a quite hefty title to carry. It is also quite a hefty title to be overshadowed by. Wherever the two of you showed up, you'd always be perceived as a decoration to Mihawk rather than his partner. Like a pearly white Maltese carried by rich ladies in their purses. Having voiced your concerns, Mihawk knew that you feel in some way inferior to him. He just never thought it was that severe.

He was woken up that night, actually. The sky was still black and starry, morning long hours away. You were getting out of bed and your stirring woke him up. But he quickly went back to sleep when you whispered that you were just going to the bathroom. By all means, it was just another night. Like countless others you've spent together. Nothing unusual.

In the morning, everything was gone. All of your belongings had disappeared as though you had never been on his ship in the first place. Like a ghost he's grown to love had simply become bored of haunting him.

Only one thing, however, suggested that you were not a figment of imagination: a laconic note that vaguely explained the situation. In a few words, you told him that you're tired of being seen as an accessory to someone, a pair of gloves that will be out of season when snow thaws. Knowing that you're more than the Maltese in a purse, you ventured into the wide world to become an infamous name of your own.

Throughout many years, every day has he thought of that night and the morning that followed. What if he hadn't fallen asleep? Was he too calloused to notice how much you've been suffering? Was there something he could have done but decided not to for some reason?

The longer he thought about it, the more he came to the same, heart-wrenching conclusion - he was just abandoned in the middle of the night. Whether it was his hurt pride or respect towards your wishes, he's never gone on an escapade to find you.

As years went by and he hadn't heard from you or about you, Mihawk simply assumed that you'd died. It seemed the most probable. Part of him wanted to take the blame: if he had noticed your pain earlier, had he taken your worries seriously, you wouldn't have left and you wouldn't have died. It was his responsibility to protect you, to ensure that his beloved is safe and sound. Alas, he had failed. Quite utterly at that.

He grew bitter and vicious. What good is his swordsmanship if it failed that one time it could have mattered? What good is he if he was too blind and oblivious to ease your burden?

But all of those painful thoughts disappeared today.

Mihawk tears the newspaper and throws it away. He's grown almost used to the weight of bereavement on his shoulders but now he's absolved of it. One shouldn't grieve someone who is still alive. But contrary to his expectations, he doesn't feel better because of that. In fact, he feels a lot worse. Even if your death had been brought by your own choices, it is not your fault. Your death, however, hasn't occurred as of yet, so the time you've spent building infamy was just time you chose to leave him broken and aching.

He mourned you! Turned his grief and misery into a fury that burned entire towns. He became a shadow of the person he used to be. And for what? To learn that he was disposable to you? That his love for you was less important than your pride and ambitions?

Now that you've made it on the front page with an equally hefty title "A New Scourge", perhaps you're a danger big enough to be hunted down by none other but one of the Warlords. Was it not what you wanted? To be truly someone among pirates?

Oh, he will find you. Even if you told him not to look for you. Mihawk will find you and make you take responsibility for the damage you've done - for the man you've irreversibly changed for the worse; the heart you've forced to turn into stone.

Is it revenge or is it justice? No matter. It is right.

If the butterfly effect is true, Shanks, or rather his tendencies, would be the said butterfly that causes a tornado down the line. He's been known as a man with no commitment and certainly not a devout monogamist. It didn't matter that for a few years he's been exactly that - happily wrapped around the finger of one woman. Most of his men "respectfully" disregarded the relationship status as something temporary.

"Shanks thinks he's in love. Like a thousand times before her."

Which was probably why you've gone years being called a variation of "Shanks's girl". Whether they meant it or not, people around you made sure that you know you're disposable. A fling.

But you never were. Gods above! You never were.

Shanks thought it was quite obvious that he didn't consider you a fling. All the jokes and jabs at his previous love life were just that - meaningless jokes among friends. Even when you explicitly told him that they start to make you uncomfortable and that you want to be taken seriously, the pirate captain never quite took you as seriously as he probably should have. "They're just joking".

The jokes stopped one day and, seemingly, so did Shanks's humour altogether. All of your belongings were gone. You were gone. Nowhere to be found, disappeared like fog on a spring morning. The only thing he had from you was a note, hastily scribbled in the corner of a map lying on his desk as though you were too rushed to take your time to write a proper letter.

He's read that note every day for years. Naively hoping that one day he'll somehow be enlightened as to where you've gone. Maybe one of the letters is strangely pointing towards an island? Or maybe the fact that you've written your message in the North-East of the map was a sign? No matter how many asinine guesses he's made, all of them were wrong. You just... disappeared.

Despite asking him not to look for you, Shanks couldn't help himself. Each village he has visited, he would ask about you. Has anyone seen you? Or heard about you? A few times he thought he had seen you in the crowd, only for the woman to turn out to be a stranger vaguely fitting your description. But this investigation, too, proved to be in vain. For better or worse, it seemed as though you had never existed in the first place.

To put things simply, Shanks had given up. If no one across the seas had seen you or heard about you, it seemed the most probable that you'd met your end. Somewhere far away, among unfamiliar waters and surrounded by strangers. Were you in pain? Were you afraid? Did you wish he could have been there? Or maybe you thought-

No. He shouldn't be thinking like that.

Shanks is locked in his cabin. If his crewmates believed he had an alcohol problem after you disappeared, their captain's state right now would be "alcohol catastrophe". He hasn't been sober since he saw the newspaper.

At first, he was excited, yes! You were alive and well! But then the realization set in: you've left in the middle of the night, asked him not to look for you and never once reached out to him. Telling him that you don't love him anymore would have hurt incomparably less.

He's sitting on the floor. His clothes reek but he doesn't care about that. A shaking hand has trouble lifting another bottle of strong alcohol. The front page of the newspaper with your face on it is lying in front of him. He's just blankly staring at it, letting tears fall down his cheeks.

Among the darkness of the room, there's just him, the bottle and the dull, unbearable ache in his chest.

Shanks wishes to find you. To ask what in the Hell you were thinking. Then ask what he can do to have you back with him. But beware, as whatever you demand he will do. Even if it costs him his other hand.

That is, if his liver won't kill him first.

206 notes · View notes

undiscovered-horizon · 4 months

Text

Rainy Season - Morpheus x Reader

[Spoilers for Brief Lives I guess?]

[MASTERLIST] | [Sandman-inspired playlist]

SUMMARY: Fed up with Dream's stubborn and at times childish attitude, you leave Dreaming. But when Morpheus's sorrow makes itself known, Matthew has to fetch you before the kingdom completely floods.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.7k

It’s a tumultuous morning in the Dreaming. Even if none of the dreams and nightmares are privy to the ongoing feud, they know something is wrong. It’s as though the air in the kingdom, the marrow of their bones, turned bitter last night. Their skin is crawling but the sun is shining as it did yesterday. They birds chirp the same song they had throughout centuries. And yet, against their better judgment, something is terribly out of place.

To be honest, you don’t even remember how all of this started but the damage is already done.

A frustrated scream ripples through your chest, "The world doesn't revolve around you!" You're fuming. There's only so much patience one person can hold and recently, Morpheus had proven himself exceptional at trying to reach its limit until he, unfortunately, succeeded today. "For someone who's supposed to know every thought ever entertained, you sure can not look past the tip of your own nose."

His eyes, cold and hurt, stare at you in utter confusion. Dark eyebrows furrow. "I do not know what you're expecting of me,” he states in an angry voice. It appears that he really does not understand the reason for your outrage. "I am not human, I am unable to look at the world as you do."

Of course he says that, you think to yourself. It seems to be his favorite line of defense. Dream of the Endless is a strange, eldritch creature. He doesn’t comprehend the world like a mortal does and, or some reason, he treats this fact of nature as an excuse not to try. At first, you thought it charming - to see the universe through the eyes of a creature you can barely begin to understand. Who wouldn’t? The strange wonder of the man in front of you made you seek his company again and again. Truthfully, there’s something poetic about it: the reason you’ve come back to him so many times might be the very reason you bid him farewell. For good.

"Good news, then: you don't need a cardiovascular system to exercise empathy.” Your sarcastic tone has an effect on Morpheus. He frowns, hurt by your words, only to grow angry that he’s so affected. Dream’s pride makes him want to not be influenced by your bitterness. Alas, he cares more than he’s willing to admit. "Not everything is about you, Morpheus, and until you realize that, I don't think we've got more to talk about. Goodbye."

Even after you shut the door behind you, the word echoes through the castle. The stone walls seem to whisper it back to Morpheus, rubbing the salt in his wound. How strange it is - to be haunted by somebody still alive. To be the king of dreams and feel hopeless. It would be funny if it didn’t make him want to be unmade.

A thunder rolls. A blue lightning splits the sky in two. Despite the lovely weather in the morning, it starts to rain in the Dreaming.

The storm doesn’t stop after a few hours nor does it cease after a few days. Black clouds cover the sky as they did four days ago. The only change is in the water level: the kingdom is flooded. When everyone thought the rain is bound to stop soon, no one minded much the rising tide. However, when the situation only worsened with no evidence that it’s going to improve in the near future, worried voices started to reach Lucienne. If the storm doesn’t cease in the next day or two, some parts of the Dreaming will share the fate of Atlantis.

If Morpheus knew he was being observed, he didn’t show it. Perhaps he doesn’t feel up for another confrontation. In any event, he remains still, standing against the balcony reiling, as his friends begin plotting:

"How is he?" Matthew whispers to Lucienne. "Has he moved from there at all? Ate something? Said anything?"

"That's three 'no's, I'm afraid,” she answers slowly. The librarian lets out a heavy sigh. "He's just dramatically standing there, wallowing in pity."

Dream really is 'just standing there’. Drenched. His hair and clothes are stuck to his pasty skin. It can’t be comfortable but it would appear that matters other than cosiness are on his mind at the moment. For the past few days, ever since you left, he hasn’t moved even a quarter of an inch. Truthfully, he looks about as alive as a marble statue, if monuments could appear excruciatingly miserable.

"Should we do something?" The raven continues. What he really wants to ask is 'What should we do?’ but Lucienne seems to catch the undertone of his words nonetheless.

"You could ask her to come back but no guarantee she'll want to,” she thinks out loud. "They've fought before but this time she looked really defeated."

Morpheus, although doesn’t need to breathe, sighs loudly. As he exhales, another lightning tears the sky apart.

"Alright, I'll try to convince her to talk to him again,” Matthew states. His worried voice makes him sound determined to have the two of you reconcile. "Hopefully, we'll be back before you need a canoe."

Lucienne doesn’t respond. As much as she doesn’t want to admit to her pessimism, she knows better than to have much hope in the matter of Dream’s love life.

Repetitive tapping on the window diverts your attention from the dishes you were washing. Seeing the black bird sitting on the outside windowsill, you quickly wipe your hands against the dishrag and jog to open the window.

"Matthew?" you ask in surprise.

He wastes no time pleading his case in a plaintive tone. "You gotta go back to him. Everything's gone to shit."

You furrow your eyebrows. Leaning against the wall, you cross your arms on your chest. "What do you mean?"

The raven hops closer to you. "It's been pouring nonstop since you left. He's just standing there, soaking wet and he won't talk to anyone."

It might sound sadistic but it’s a nice thought that he’s grieving your departure so severely. For what it’s worth, it means he’s not as blase as he likes to appear. Perhaps, Morpheus cares about you more than you’re even aware of.

"How bad is it?" you ask warily.

"How bad?!" Matthew screeches. "The House of Mysteries is so flooded, Abel is fishing."

It sounds like 'bad' is nothing more than an elegant euphemism. In his heartache, Morpheus is willing to let Dreaming decay and fall into partial ruin. If your accusation had been correct and Dream of the Endless truly is unable to care about anyone but himself, such a disaster would never have happened. A selfish ruler wouldn’t let his realm turn to rubble because of a broken heart. And if you’re more important than what he calls home, then…

"I'm assuming that's not a usual feature,” you give the raven a half-hearted response. The thoughts inside your head are in a painful turmoil, trying to lift the truth out of the indications.

"Yeah," he answers sarcastically.

Matthew glares at you in anticipation. Perplexed, you rub your arm without thinking much about it. Right, it's the mature and responsible thing to do but at the same time, why do you have to be the one to cave in every time you two fall out? If Morpheus cares for you as much as his dramatic show of pain and grief would suggest, shouldn’t it be him travelling across world and realms to reach you?

The raven cocks his head. Something about the look in his eyes changes as though his frustration has faded away or grown into desperation if not powerlessness. He’s tired and out of options.

"Alright, let's go," you say with a sigh. "But no promises. I still have pride and self-respect and he's still a stubborn..." you take a deep breath, "nevermind. Let's just go."

Miserable.

That's the only word that comes to your mind as you stare at him from afar. One would think that an entity of his sort can not be or look miserable but maybe this world is even stranger than you've thought. His clothes are drenched to the point of being see-through. Dark, once-tussled hair is now stuck to his face and neck. Dream's body looks even more stringy as his head is hanging low between his shoulders.

The rain is almost deafening. Your cautious, hesitant footsteps shouldn't be audible and yet Morpheus turns around to look at you when you come closer.

"I didn't think you'd come back," he says in a low, groggy voice. Dream's eyes, once blue and cold, are now red and unsettlingly vacant. Has he been crying? "What do you want?"

You take a deep breath. It was vain to expect him to welcome you with open arms. An eldritch being with a bruised ego and a broken heart could never make for a hospitable host. Even to those whom he misses the most.

"I still stand by what I said, it's just..." you hang your voice for a moment to find the proper words. Seeing him so broken by your fight makes some part of you want to renounce everything that lead to your argument. Anything just for him to be alright again. But the more reasonable side of you knows that such an action would only hurt both of you in the long run. "I admit, I could have said it in a more civilized way. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that harshness."

His gaze falls and Morpheus looks away for a moment.

Whether he's doing it consciously or not, the rainstorm ceases. Black clouds slowly drift away to uncover a clear, blue sky. Somewhere in the West, if there are cardinal directions in Dreaming, the sun is beginning to set. Despite the significant improvement, the air remains cold. A harsh wind nips at your drenched form. In a vain attempt to shield yourself from the discomfort of the weather, you put your arms around your torso. Still, your body trembles.

"Perhaps I should have put more effort into understanding your concern. I'm..." he turns silent for a second. His lips are apart but no sound is coming out of his mouth. Dream's hurt gaze meets yours. "Sorry," he whispers finally. Despite his voice being hardly audible, the weight of his confession is almost deafening.

"There's one more thing, Morpheus."

Those sad blue eyes stare at you in anticipation. The misery on his face makes you think that he's expecting to have his heart broken again, instead of mended.

A couple of grey clouds reappear above your heads. Oh no.

"I'm tired of always being the one to reach out," you confess. His gaze is too intense and you quickly look away from him. There's much on his mind. "No matter who's right or wrong, it's me who bridges the gap between us. Even if that angers me, I still do it. Every time. And I don't know what that says about me."

Your body trembles again but this time it doesn't go unnoticed by Morpheus. He, quite literally, pulls a coat out of thin air. Dream's movements are almost fearful as he cautiously places the garment around your shoulders.

"Perhaps in certain aspects, you are better than me," he answers quietly while fixing the coat to fit you better.

You know you're pushing your luck when you look at him again and ask a not-so-innocent question:

"You mean a 'better person'?"

"I'm not-" He bites his tongue just in time. Morpheus is not a person. Both of you are perfectly aware of it. But it was the mention of this very fact that had brought such disastrous rain to Dreaming. "Yes. A better person."

There's not much conviction in his words but there is, however, a silent promise to find it.

______

Now that I’m in mourning, I thought it fitting to finish reading "Brief Lives" and the bittersweetness of it felt all the more pronounced. Reading it prompted me to rewatch the show and long story short I’m kind of back in my Sandman feels.

349 notes · View notes

undiscovered-horizon · 4 months

Note

are you doing requests for snow right now? i would love to send one in!!

Hey! Yes, I'm doing requests and I'd love to hear what's on your mind :)

#the old gods respond

0 notes

undiscovered-horizon · 4 months

Text

Contains canon-typical violence

[When another Peacekeeper takes you for a lady of easy virtue, Coriolanus goes to defend your honour. Exemplary gentleman! Or something to that effect...]

Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi | Have a request?

Saturday night, mid-July. Despite the late hour, the air is warm but refreshing compared to the scalding daytime. A soft breeze carries an aroma of weeds and freshly mined coal. The streets of the town are filled with people - lovers and workers alike. Their whispered conversations and light-hearted laughter is drowned out by the booming music coming from the local bar. Truthfully, who in this weather could take a rain check on a cold beer?

The bar is bustling with life. The floor is shaking, boards creaking, as a mob of tipsy people is dancing their troubles away. Tomorrow and its anxieties a mere ripple on the water - unimportant, insignificant. The Covey is playing an encore, one of many that evening but the repetition doesn’t seem to bother the bar’s patrons. Their merriment continues undisturbed.

The same can be said about you and Coriolanus, at least for the most part:

You’re sitting with your backs turned towards the stage. A silent reassurance from Coriolanus that he is, in fact, over the songbird. Although you’ve never doubted his honesty or loyalty, he felt it only proper to let everyone know there’s a certain pair of eyes focused on only you at all times. Whatever that may entail.

Perhaps if you weren’t so emotionally invested in the obnoxious market quarrel you’re re-telling Coriolanus, you’d notice that he doesn’t look at you in the way one would expect a man in love to gaze at the lady of his heart. No, there’s something much more intense and downright sinister in the blue of his irises. The cognac in his glass is left untouched. Snow appears strangely animalistic as though he is nothing more than a predator waiting for a perfect opportunity to pounce on his prey. Perhaps if you weren’t blinded by love, you’d realize you’re an exotic, colourful butterfly hovering above a famished sundew. A matter of time, one could say.

In any event, all of your attention is on Coriolanus and the same could be said about him in some way - the part of his brain that is not lost to his primal fantasies with you as the main character is consumed by your entire persona. That is, until something, someone, gets between the butterfly and the sundew.

"Then a silence,” you continue your story. Considering the tension in your voice and the spark in your eyes, you’re about to retell the highlight of the drama. „She’s red in the face, absolutely seething. Her entire dress in drenched, she’s reeking of smoked fish. The guy, God bless his soul because he’s definitely going to need a miracle after this, he reaches for a-"

One of the Peacekeepers interrupts the climax of the story as he almost falls over. Stumbling and swaying, his much-unneeded drink spilling out of the glass, he grabs Snow’s shoulder to find balance. Despite leaning against Coriolanus, the soldier is still moving from side to side. If the air inside the bar wasn’t stale already, you’d probably be able to smell all of the liquor he has consumed.

"Private Snow,” the stranger drones his words, clearly struggling to form a coherent sentence, "has found us a barracks bunny! Good on you, Capitol boy.”

Time seems to slow down as you watch in horror what happens next. Coriolanus jumps to his feet. Not a word or even a growl of warning leaves his mouth. Taking a generous swing, Snow hits the man straight in his jaw. Something cracks horribly. The power of the blow makes Coriolanus lose his footing for a short moment. When he’s standing on his own, he’s quick to reach down for the soldier.

Snow lifts the other Peacekeeper by the man's collar. Coriolanus is angry enough for his body to shake.

"Don't you fucking dare talk to her like that," he growls. Before the drunk soldier has a chance to beg, plead or apologize, his face is hit again. And again. And once more - for good measure.

Finally, you grab Snow's shoulder and pull him off the battered man. Reluctantly, he stands up. Fury is burning inside his eyes. He’s about to say something when the bartender yells at the two of you and throws a dishrag:

"Hey! Out of my fucking bar!”

You tug at his hand and he doesn’t put up a fight. Snow’s eyes linger on the beaten-down soldier for a while longer. Pondering. Some less civilized part of him is considering breaking free from your hold to finish the offender once and for all. That aspect of his nature, however, loses to reason and Coriolanus gives up his taste for revenge. For now, at least.

The night air is refreshing. It feels as though the smell of wildflowers and coal is shaking you awake, instantly sobering you up. Despite the town being far from silent, it feels unbearably quiet without the dancing people and the singing troupe. You let out a deep sigh.

"I’m sorry.” Coriolanus is the first to speak up.

You turn around to look at him. His eyebrows are slightly raised and you almost believe his faux remorse. The look of satisfaction in his eyes gives him away completely. "You’re not.”

Suddenly, his doctored display of regret disappears. Even better - a grin curves his lips. "Yeah, I’m not.”

Coriolanus lifts his hand to reach for your jaw. Then, you notice something strange about his knuckles. Blood. The flesh between his fingers is torn. Red, irritated skin begins to swell and grow hot to the touch.

A high-pitched gasp escapes your lips. "Coryo, your hand! Let me-"

"It's nothing,” he answers in a stern voice. Coriolanus pulls his arm away when you try to grab it.

"Nothing?!" you repeat in disbelief. "You're bleeding!"

"Hey, look at me,” he says as he holds your face between the palms of his hands. Snow’s blue eyes pierce yours, making you feel like he’s suddenly privy to the deepest secrets of your soul. Considering how much time he’s spent studying you as a whole, he probably does. "It's nothing. Really. Just a scratch, nothing more. I'm going to be okay.” His expression changes from serious to more mischievous. Coriolanus lets out an airy chuckle. You feel his thumb gently brush against your lower lip. "You should have seen the other guy."

You can’t help but laugh too. As cliche and ridiculous as it sounds, someone did just got into a bar brawl to defend your honor. "I don't want to look at that man ever again in my life."

"Good,” Coriolanus whispers. His hot breath brushes against your flushed cheeks. "Then keep your eyes on me."

"With pleasure.” You giggle against his lips. He seems to have little regard for the fact that the two of you are still in public. Coriolanus kisses you deeply, almost desperately if he was humble enough to describe himself with such a word. "My knight in shining armour,” you say in an overly dramatic tone.

Coriolanus tilts his head. He stares at you with a mix of superiority and amusement. Silly, little butterfly that thinks the sundew is just another pretty flower. "A knight in shining armour is useless."

You furrow your eyebrows. "What?” you ask in confusion. "Why?”

"His armour is shiny only because it has no scratches,” he answers. There’s a sense of thrill in his voice. The sundew impresses the butterfly. "He’s never seen battle. He’s a coward,” he spits the word out with disgust.

Snow’s words make you nod in agreement. He has a point. A knight in a shining armour is a greenhorn at best and a wimp at worst. But if the knight’s armour is scratched and indented, he knows what he’s doing. The hero has seen war and came out alive. Not many can boast with that achievement.

"Then I sincerely apologize for your armour is, indeed, scratched, sir Coriolanus.” Gently, you hold his hand and kiss it right below the bloodied knuckles in case they’re too tender to touch without causing pain.

And what a beautiful sight it is - the butterfly joyously sits on the sundew.

___

Hey guys! I want to take a moment to sincerely thank everyone who has reached out to me in the past week. Although you’re Internet strangers, it really means a lot to know that people care. I’m doing alright but it will probably take a while to adjust to the new reality. Now whenever the cat is meowing at seemingly nothing, my mom says „She’s walking around”. As nice as it sounds, I truly hope She’s not looking over my shoulder, watching me write a romance fantasy about a walking red flag of a man.

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow fanfiction #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus snow fanfic #tbosas #tbosas fanfiction #tbosas fanfic #tbosas x reader #tbosas x you #tbosas imagine

246 notes · View notes