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ahundredtimesover · 3 years

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Please Love Me (03) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: arranged marriage, childhood friends, CEO kids; angst, fluff, smut

Warnings: foul language, smut in the form of unprotected sex (please stay safe!), oral (18+)

Word count: 18.3k

Series summary: As the only unmarried Jeon and Kim children, your families propose a union to symbolize your unbreakable bond that spans generations. But despite developing an affection for Jungkook growing up, he never returned it; he never seemed to like you, actually. You’re okay with the proposal, but surprise surprise, he isn’t.

A/N: And it ends! Thank you to all who took interest in this story. It means a lot to be able to write this bc of how much I can relate with OC (except for being rich & being real nice) and I hope some elements of the story were relatable to you all as well. This will probably be most favorite piece of work ever and your sweet words mean so much. :)

ALSO please check out this moodboard made by @jeonwiixard who’s been so sweet about her appreciation for this story :)

Playlist: Like Lovers Do by Hunter Plake │Waiting For You by Got7 │Sinking Ship by Seafret │ Signal Fire by Snow Patrol │ Incomplete by James Bay │ The Few Things by JP Saxe & Charlotte Lawrence │ Wild Love (Acoustic) by James Bay │ Paperweight by Joshua Radin & Schuyler Fisk

Series Masterlist

Jungkook starts to panic as he opens every room and doesn’t find you there. It’s when he sees that your car key isn’t on the keyholder that he concludes you left, for where, he doesn’t know. It’s too early to go anywhere and he hopes that you just drove somewhere to watch the sunrise to clear your head, or to the beach to think. You’re a big girl, he knows that. You’d lived on your own for years; somehow he knows you’re safe.

He goes back to your room and lies down on your made-up bed, inhaling the lavender scent of your shampoo and the same-scent detergent on the pillows and covers. He lays there thinking about you, where you are and what you’re doing. He falls asleep hugging one of your pillows, imagining it’s you.

The sunlight peeking from the blinds is what wakes Jungkook up. He checks your wall clock and sees it’s past 7:30AM. He feels groggy and heavy. He barely slept as he felt a mix of worry and sadness at your absence. He couldn’t wait to apologize, couldn’t wait to finally hold you and tell you that everything’s going to be okay, but you left and he doesn’t know where you are. He was hoping you’d have come back by the time he wakes but there’s still no sign of you at home.

He grabs his phone from his room and rings you multiple times, each call heading to voicemail. He calls your chauffeur who says he hasn’t heard from you. He pulls up the number of one of your co-workers, the one you used to contact him this one time your phone’s battery died; she says you’re not at work and in fact, just put a notice that you’ll be working from home for the next 2 days. He panics at this because you’re clearly not home.

He’s nervous to ask any one of your siblings or friends, knowing they’ll panic as well and will ask too many questions that he’s not ready to answer.

So he calls his brother, certain he knows where you are.

“Do you know where she is?” he asks as soon as Junghyun picks up. “She’s… she’s not here, hyung. We had a fight and I was going to apologize but she’s gone and I don’t know where she is…” He stammers. The more he recalls, the more worried he gets and he wills for the tears not to form.

Junghyun releases a breath. “I know, Jungkook. She told me.”

“You talked to her?! I keep getting into voicemail,” he says, nervous at what this now implies.

“Yeah, she’s fine, Kook. Don’t worry. She’s safe.”

Jungkook lets out a breath, appeased to know that at least you’re okay. He doesn’t try to dwell on the fact that you talked to his brother and not him. You always did say you treated Junghyun like your own.

“Did she say what time she’s coming back? I screwed up and I want to apologize.”

It takes a while before Junghyun responds. “She, uhm… she won’t be back home today.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’ll be gone for a few days, Jungkook. She told me to tell you.”

The silence is deafening for both men. It takes all of Jungkook not to break down over the phone right then and there and Junghyun is worried at how his brother is going to hold up.

“Look, everything’s gonna be okay. She just needs time, you could at least give her that after what happened.”

It irks Jungkook at how much his brother knows, even more that you called him when you decided to drive off and told him how last night went. He hates that his brother probably got to comfort you, something he should’ve done.

Jungkook is huffing on the other end, prompting his brother to try and calm him down. “Come to my office when you get here, we can talk then.”

Jungkook barges in his brother’s office and paces back and forth, trying his best to keep his composure. He has a million things running through his mind and just like every single time, it’s Junghyun on the other end, taking the punches, soothing his little brother, keeping him grounded.

“She went to their family’s lake house,” Junghyun starts, knowing it’s what Jungkook wants to know.

“Which one?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“She told me not to.”

Jungkook feels angry and betrayed at the thought that you don’t want him to know but told his brother. He’s convincing himself this isn’t jealousy he’s feeling.

“Why would she tell you and not me? Why would she call you and not pick up when it’s me?”

“Why do you think, huh?” Junghyun says, clearly unhappy with his brother’s arrogance.

“She made time to be there for you even if she had her own event to be at, arrived to see you talking it up with an ex-fling, and you did nothing when that woman patronized her. And that was just about last night. Don’t think she’s forgotten about you accusing her of lying to get her pregnant.”

Jungkook’s face falls at the insinuation, which his brother picks up.

“Yes, she knows about that. She heard everything. She was at home that day you spewed your nonsense because Mother asked her to come over.”

Jungkook feels faint. He’d gone through everything he said about you that day and he feels like a complete asshole every time he remembers it. It was baseless and stupid and you didn’t deserve any of that. The only thing that comforted him was knowing you didn’t know about it but apparently you do, and he hates himself even more now.

He left for Japan right after and missed dinner with you when he came back. You were holding onto those thoughts for days, believing that’s what he thinks about you. He regretted it the moment he said the words but didn’t say so, so you wouldn’t have known that he’s guilty and that he doesn’t mean any of it.

Despite it all, you didn’t seem angry. You asked him to join dinner with your friends and showed up at his event because you wanted to be with him. And he shut you out, humiliated you, made you feel you weren’t enough. You fought and it’s too late for him to apologize. It’s all he wants to do and now he doesn’t know when he’ll be able to.

“Ask her to come home, please.” Jungkook begs his brother. “Tell her I’m sorry and I’ll make things right, just tell her to come home.”

“Why? So you can feel better about yourself? So you can rid yourself of the guilt after everything you’ve put her through? Where does that leave her? She’ll go home when she wants to, when she’s ready to. You can’t tell her otherwise,” Junghyun retorts.

What Jungkook needs right now is support, something he used to get from his brother all the time. Since Jungkook’s been home, it’s the one thing he hasn’t been getting. He’s angry because his brother is always choosing you, always protecting you, always putting you first.

He remembers the shit he got that Sunday when their grandparents proposed the marriage. He thinks back to every single time that Junghyun has scolded him for not treating you the way he thinks Jungkook should. In another moment of weakness, Jungkook loses it.

“Why are you so protective of her?” he shouts. He bravely faces his brother and wants to see the look on his face when Junghyun tells him the truth.

“She’s like my little sister, Jungkook! You know that. I’ve always been protective of her. You marrying her won’t change that.”

“Is that all there is?” Jungkook pushes, tone accusatory.

Junhgyun doesn’t like what his brother is insinuating and he hates where this is headed.

“What else would it be?” He challenges.

“Do you like her? Is that it? Have you been in love with her this whole time? That's why you’re always coddling her, taking her side, protecting her like she’s some precious being that can never be hurt, that can never do wrong?”

Junghyun stares back at him, trying his best not to break.

“Do you hate me because I get to marry her and not you? Is that why you never take my side when it comes to her? Is it to punish me because it’s not you?”

Junghyun closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Jungkook, step away from me right now before I hurt you.”

Jungkook knows his brother has cracked. “Why, because I’m right, aren’t I?”

“No, because you’re an idiot who’s really outdone himself this time. You have no idea what you’re saying and god help me because I really, really want to hurt you right now.”

Jungkook feels ready for this. It all makes sense, he tells himself. “Come on, then. Do it. Hurt me. Show me how right I am and how angry you are.”

It takes a while before Junghyun responds, and when he does, it takes all of Jungkook not to fall apart.

“___ is sick, that’s why I’m protective of her. That’s why we all are. She was born sick and almost didn’t make it.”

Jungkook was expecting a punch to the face. But this is a punch to the heart he was not expecting at all.

“You want me to hurt you? Fine, this is how I do it.”

“Don’t,” Jungkook now pleads, tears forming in his eyes. "Please don't."

“No. You asked for this. You’re gonna stay there and you’re gonna listen to every single word I say.”

Junghyun buries his head in his hands, knowing he shouldn’t be doing this. It’s not his story to tell but he’ll explain himself to you eventually. He needs to do this, he thinks. Jungkook hurt you and he needs to realize the effects of his actions.

It was a rare heart defect, the doctors told your parents. You were barely a month old when you had the surgery to correct it. During those critical first few weeks, your whole family prayed so hard to the gods or whoever would listen to keep you alive.

Just let her survive, they’d said, and they’ll do everything to make sure you live a life that you want and are happy with, a bargain they made and the end of a deal that they kept, that they continue to.

The surgery was successful but it didn’t mean you were out of the woods. You were weak and always tired, couldn’t keep up with your peers who were playing in the playground, couldn’t enjoy your childhood the way your siblings did because everyone was afraid something bad would happen. You could faint anytime or be unable to breathe. They couldn’t take their chances so they were always watching over you, attending to your every need, making sure you were safe.

It was a secret your family kept because they didn’t want you to feel different from others, but they knew this was a lie; you had a heart that was capable of loving immensely, patiently, unconditionally - that was the difference. Even as a baby, you already had a heart too full of love that it broke, your grandmother used to say.

Eventually you grew up and wanted to keep it a secret yourself for your own reasons, but you still let people in. Your three best friends, the ones you’ve had since you were 5 years old, knew and stood by your side - stayed with you at the park bench, sat out parties with you, and did your own sleepovers.

That’s why you got into the arts. You weren’t too fond of musical instruments but you held a paint brush before you could even write your name; you were really good at it, too. It became your pastime, then your therapy, then your life. It didn’t matter that you didn’t want to follow in your siblings’ footsteps, that you didn’t want to work in your family’s company.

You found your place in the world, one that your parents didn’t even think you’d be able to have. They kept their end of the deal - you survived and they let you live a life you’re happy with.

Jungkook stares at his brother, wiping every tear that threatens to fall, until he gives up altogether. He looks back at his 4-year old self, the one whose little heart you broke because yours was literally broken. He looks back on all those years that you kept to your friends, that you didn’t attend his soccer games, that you turned down his party invites. He disliked you all those years over something you couldn’t control, over something that could’ve taken your life, and he hates himself even more.

“So you, everyone, knew this whole time?” He asks, finally getting himself together.

“Our grandparents and parents did because the Kims turned to them during those hard times. I always knew that ___ was weak, but I just thought it was an immune system kind of thing. But this one time when I was 17 and I slept over their place, we were playing video games,” he says, recalling that traumatizing night. “She fainted out of nowhere and everybody was panicking. It was the first time in a long time, they’d said. She was rushed to the hospital and had to have surgery again.” Junghyun stands up and momentarily turns around, not wanting his brother to see him break down.

“I stayed because Seokjin and Seoyeon asked me to; it was something they’d been carrying all those years and they were scared. Eventually they told me everything and we all cried when ___ woke up. She told me not to tell you because she didn’t want you to be worried.”

“Of course she didn’t,” Jungkook says, thinking back to 13-year old you, post-surgery, still thinking about someone else other than yourself.

“I would’ve stayed with her at the hospital but she kicked me out because it was your 13th birthday party weekend,” Junghyun continues, and he notices his brother’s soft eyes fill with guilt again.

“She was sad she couldn’t be there because you were so excited for it so she made sure I was even if I felt like a baby-sitter watching over 13-year olds play around the beach,” he laughs.

Jungkook buries his head in his hands. He held your absence from that party over your head for years, angry that you couldn’t even show up when you’re supposed to be “family,” like what his parents always said about you.

He stays in that position for a while and his brother watches Jungkook’s silence turn into heavy breaths, which turn into muffled cries, until his body starts shaking altogether. He didn’t just hurt you last night; he’s hurt you all these years.

Junghyun lets him cry, lets him feel all the emotions as he should.

After a while, he approaches his brother who’s crouched on the sofa and gives him a hug. “It’s okay, Jungkook. She forgives you.”

“She shouldn’t.”

“But she does. She always did. She always will.”

He removes Jungkook’s hands from his face and wipes the tears that haven’t stopped falling. “She was always fond of you, you know?” Junghyun smiles. “We used to tease her about her crush on you when we were younger and it always made her blush. But she never denied it. She just always had that smile on her face whenever we talked about you. Even when you left, she would always ask about how you’re doing, if you’re eating properly, if the people there were treating you well.”

This prompts Jungkook to cry again, given that he barely thought about you while he was away.

“How is she now? I mean, how’s her heart? Does she still hurt?” Jungkook asks, worry washing over him again, especially now that you’re away and on your own.

“The surgery from when she was 13 fully corrected it. She continues to be monitored and has medication but that’s just for maintenance. She hasn’t had any major episodes for years. She’s okay, you don’t have to worry.”

“But she’s alone. And she’s upset,” Jungkook stutters.

“She promised to call me thrice a day and I’ll update you every time, okay?”

“But why won’t she call me?”

“She just needs her space and she hopes you’ll give it. It’s gonna be okay, I promise,” Junghyun says, and he knows it’s something he’ll be repeating to his brother everyday until you come back, or even after that.

More than the guilt, it’s the worry that he knows is eating Jungkook from the inside. Junghyun knows that somewhere in that stubborn heart of his brother’s is a nook that holds the care he always had for you, one he always denied existed.

Jungkook nods, finally calming down.

It’s the aggressive opening of the door that startles both men and Seokjin’s loud cries of Jungkook’s name that worries them.

“I fucking told you not to hurt her!” Seokjin screams, with Seoyeon pulling his arm from behind. Jungkook only cowers behind his brother who’s standing in between him and the younger Kim.

“You promised you wouldn’t hurt her, Jungkook. Why is she at the lake house and why can’t she talk to me without crying? What the fuck have you done?!”

This is an unfamiliar sight to Seoyeon, as she’s used to being the one scolding all 3 boys for making a mess or teasing her when they were growing up.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jungkook says, too ashamed to show himself. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could take everything back.”

“We trusted you! She’s the strongest person I know and it takes so much to hurt her. Fuck, if you only knew. What could you have done to make her leave, Jungkook? She’s never done that,” Seokjin cries, “not even with Mingyu.”

Jungkook startles at the last statement but thinks it’s not the best time to ask about it. Before he could say anything, his brother pipes in. “I’m sorry, but I had to tell him everything. I know it wasn’t my place but I couldn’t help it.”

Seokjin clenches his jaw and is about to say something again until Seoyeon steps forward and kneels before Jungkook, who is too ashamed to look at her.

“Hey, Kook,” she says with softness in her eyes. “I know you feel bad but she wouldn’t want you to be, okay? It’s why she never told you.”

Jungkook trembles at the thought. “I need her to know that I’m sorry and that I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to her.”

“I get that you feel guilty and upset but Kook, I know my sister. She’d rather you spend the rest of your lives making each other happy, trying to love each other, and not making up for past mistakes.” Seoyeon ruffles Jungkook’s hair and wipes the remaining tears from his eyes. “Give her that, and it’ll all be okay.”

He nods and takes it all in. He feels like he’s been hit by a truck by the truth that’s been revealed but at the same time, he feels a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders, one that’s there because of his doing, because of his immaturity and jealousy and bitterness growing up.

For years he felt he had a reason to be upset at you but knowing the truth lets him see clearly that it was all him; he’s the reason and he feels that the least he could do is acknowledge what he feels for you, something that’s been developing since he found himself in this arrangement with you. He’d been holding himself back but now there’s no reason to. He wants to feel everything for you; he can only hope it’s not too late.

Junhgyun sends him home early that day. Jungkook had been so absent-minded that it was better that he stay home for the rest of the week. He’s appreciative but he hates it at the same time.

He arrives at an empty home. There’s no you coming up with a new recipe in the kitchen, no you watering the flowers and talking to them in their pretty vases, no you sprawled on the couch reading an art book or watching your reality TV shows. There’s no you asking him how his day went or telling him about yours, no you lugging canvasses and showing him your pieces, no you and your adorable laugh while watching horror movies.

There’s none of your pretty smiles, none of the nose crunches that match his; there’s no hand to hold or shoulder to lean on. In all the years that he lived abroad on his own, he’s never felt so lonely until now.

Jungkook spends the day at the gym, boxing his anger at himself away. He goes for a run to clear his mind. He eats McDonald’s for dinner, his first full meal of the day. He takes a long hot bath and lights the rose and cedarwood scented candle you got him. He stares at your bedroom door, hoping for a miracle that when he opens it, you’re there.

But you aren’t.

Jungkook sleeps in your bed that night, curled up under your blanket, inhaling the scent that you left, the whale plush toy he’d given you mocking him.

He does pretty much the same things the next day and chooses to ignore the texts of his friends asking him how he is. He’s not surprised if word got around in your little circle that you’d left; clearly Jimin would’ve hounded Nari about what’s going on.

That Saturday, Jungkook forces himself out of your bed due to the incessant pounding on the door. He should’ve expected that Jimin and Taehyung would show up uninvited at your apartment.

They’d watched him go from girlfriend after girlfriend in the past but they’d never had to comfort him. Holding up booze, sweets, and fast food, they say, “we don’t know how you deal with heartbreak so we just bought everything.”

Jungkook consumes all of it. He falls asleep on the couch and wakes up in the wee hours of the morning, friends sprawled next to him, whiskey bottle empty on the table. He walks to your room and falls asleep again.

He spends most of his Sunday on your bed, upset that your scent is slowly fading. He’s desperate for you but he wills himself to be patient; his brother’s updates on you are the only things he looks forward to.

He looks at his messages to you, which he’s been sending since your first night away. It was 2 days later when you finally replied, nothing but an “I’ll be home soon” in contrast to his “I’m sorry’s” and “I hope you’re safe and well” and “good mornings” and “good nights.”

He gets himself together enough to go to work that Monday. In between meetings he forces himself to pay attention to and emails he impassively reads, he thinks of you. He hates himself for not even having a photo of you on his phone, a reminder that you two are indeed nothing more than individuals who agreed to marry each other. You’re not a couple, just an engaged pair. And soon, a married pair, that is, if you still want to marry him.

The thought makes him panic. You’ve been away for days and he doesn’t know what you’re thinking. He wouldn’t be surprised if your friends or siblings - or even his own brother - convince you to call the wedding off, seeing as how he treated you, how he hurt you.

They’ve been protective of you for good reason, not so much because of the sickness that befell you, but because your heart is so beautiful, so forgiving, so patient and kind; they probably think no one deserves your love. He definitely thinks he doesn’t, but he’ll try. He decides today that he’ll try to be the kind of man who deserves all of you.

He sighs at another day ending, one that still doesn’t have you in it. He passes by a café for a good meal - the first decent one he’s had for days - and drops by a flower shop before its closing. He’d forgotten to care for the flowers at home so he decided to buy some in hopes to fill the void you’ve left. He places the peonies and lavender - your favorites - on your hand-painted vases; he got some tiger lilies - his favorite - for you, too.

Like every night, he sleeps on your bed, certain now that your scent is gone. He dreams about you for the first time, though, as in the haze of it all, he sees your face.

He wakes to the sun’s blinding light and heads to the bathroom, willing himself to face another day. It’s when he exits and hears a clang of plates that his heart drops.

There, in the middle of the kitchen, is you.

With your back facing him, clad in leggings and an oversized burgundy sweatshirt, you stop your motions and tilt your head to the side. “I got us breakfast. Eat some before you head to work,” you say.

He’s broken out of his daze and walks towards you - heart beating fast, unbelieving that you’re finally home - and wraps his arms around your waist, like he’s always wanted to do all those times. He buries his head on your neck and he starts to cry.

“I’m sorry, ___,” he sobs. “I’m so sorry for everything I said, for everything I did. For causing you so much pain, I —,” he says, choking on his words.

He has so many things he wants to apologize for but he’s overcome with so much emotion - regret at how much he’s hurt you, dejection at your absence, anger towards himself, and fear of what may happen.

With muffled cries, he hugs tighter at your silence, as if that act is enough to express the words he can’t say.

Jungkook panics when you pull his arms away from your torso until you turn around to face him and place them back around your waist. You soften at his form, eyes puffy from crying, mouth trembling with worry.

“Please don’t call off the wedding. Please tell me you won’t leave,” he pleads.

Your heart breaks at how defeated he looks, something you’d never seen him be. You cradle his face in your hands and thumb away the tears that continue to fall. He weakens at the touch, one he’s missed so much.

“I won’t, Jungkook. I’m still going to marry you. My mind hasn’t changed,” you say, a smile gracing your face, tears starting to form at the corner of your eyes.

“I thought I lost you.”

“You won’t lose me.”

“You were gone for days,” he says, eyes closing as he tries to erase the memory of the last few days of loneliness without you.

You sigh, thinking back to Junghyun’s updates on Jungkook to you, how dejected he’d looked, how heavy-hearted he’d been. “I know, I’m sorry. I just needed time and space.”

Eyes now open, he stares at you. “To think?”

“To forgive.”

“But you don’t even know what I’m sorry for,” he exclaims. “There’s a long list, starting from when I was 4 and I got upset that you didn’t play in the playground with me.”

You chuckle at this.

“I mean it, though,” he continues, eyes still boring into yours. “There’s over 20 years of things to apologize for. Especially that day at my parents' house and Wednesday night, when I —”

“It doesn’t matter, Jungkook," you cut him off. "I forgive you, I always will.”

You know how he is. Behind his initially cold persona, at least towards you, is a tender-hearted man whose caring nature will shine no matter what.

“And if your brother has told you everything like he said, he probably told you that I may have a weakness for you, too,” you giggle.

He smiles at this, appreciating your effort to calm him down and lighten the mood. “He did say you had a crush on me,” he hums.

“Not everyone could look cute in a bowl-cut,” you smile back.

He revels at this feeling - holding you, feeling your skin on his, seeing the smile he adores grace your face, the hurt from the other night no longer evident. There’s just warmth, a bit of hopefulness; perhaps longing too? Maybe you’re just mirroring the look he has on his face.

He presses his forehead on yours. “I don’t ever want to be away from you again, ___. I’ll be better, I promise.”

Arms still around your waist, he pulls you even closer and basks in your scent that he’s missed so much. He lowers his head to rest it on the crook of your neck and you feel the tears that continue to fall. He’s trying to control his emotions but at the same time, wants to reveal all of them to you.

You smile at this and ignore the fleeting pang in your chest. He hurt you, that’s true, but this isn’t just an apology for that night, it’s an apology for all the other years before that, for the things he didn’t know that have now come to light.

Guilt can be masked by affection, it can make people think they feel something when they really don’t. You keep this in mind as you return the hug that Jungkook gives you.

“We’ll be better for each other, Jungkook. It’s all going to be okay.”

It took a lot of convincing to get Jungkook not to take another leave from work. If it wasn’t for your insistence that you had to go to your office for client meetings, he wouldn’t have let you go. He tried with his puppy-dog eyes and pouty lips but you stood your ground and bargained that he could take you to work, pick you up, and you could have dinner out together.

You didn’t miss the way he’d held your hand during the whole car ride, or the multiple text messages he sent throughout the day just to tell you that he’d had lunch already and what his meeting was about, or that he’d taken you to your favorite French restaurant, and surprised you with your favorite cupcakes.

And now, as he holds your hand again and hums to the song on the radio as he drives you back home, your heart warms at how intimate this all is.

He catches you looking and sends you that smile that makes you weak in the knees, his eyes reflecting the light off the lamppost outside and suddenly you see stars.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

“Yes, it’s just…” your eyes wander to your intertwined hands and the small box of sweets on your lap. “You seem so happy.”

He looks at you, smile softening even more. “You’re home, that’s why.”

You grin and look out the window, willing yourself not to think too much about this. You were gone for days and Junghyun had said Jungkook was a mess after he found out about your health, guilt and anger taking their toll on him.

You couldn’t stop crying that night after the fight. You felt as if your heart was being torn into pieces with how much hurt you were feeling. You felt tired and defeated, like no matter how much you tried to show him that it could work, even with the progress, something just seemed to hold him back. You willed yourself not to wish he was holding you, comforting you, and you knew you couldn’t stay home with Jungkook being there so you left for your family’s lakehouse, hoping to get some peace of mind.

You didn’t want to fight anymore, didn’t want to feel the things he was making you feel, hated how the insecurities and doubts you fought so hard to suppress were making you question everything, and you just wanted some space. You knew he needed it, too. He said things he didn’t mean out of anger, like he did when he was at his parents’ house, and you also wanted to give him some time.

In those days you were away, you missed him terribly. You thought about him everyday - his jokes, the joy on his face whenever he was eating, his ramblings about work and the little things about his day that he’d share. You thought about his boyish smile and the way he’d wink at you when he’d changed a lightbulb or hammered a nail on the wall for your painting to hang. You missed his warmth, more than anything, and the way he made you feel safe with just a hand on your back or a head on your shoulder.

Junghyun was your messenger, although there wasn’t much to say. You and Jungkook have to talk about things - the fight, the secret you kept from him - and you wanted to do that when you were back home so you could comfort him and assure him that you aren’t angry, that you aren’t leaving, that you still want this.

Which is why you’re seated at the balcony at the moment, vanilla bourbon tea warming your hands and warm milk in his.

“Were you going to tell me? That you were sick?” he asks, glancing at you before he focuses his eyes on the city below.

“Yes, I was planning to tell you sometime after we get married,” you confirm. “Your brother was very apologetic but I guess it would’ve been hard for me to tell you myself. I didn’t want to hold that above your head and make you feel guilty, like you do now,” you say, giving him a knowing look. “I know you are, but you shouldn't be, Kook.”

He sighs. “I can’t help it. I was mean to you for years.”

“You were?” You tease. “Hmm, never noticed.”

“I was bitter because you never wanted to play with me. And you never watched any of my soccer games nor attended any of the parties I hosted. You even missed my super duper fun 13th birthday bash,” he says, laughing as he recalls his teenage years.

“And there were these girls in high school who always said mean things about you and I never defended you, just like—,” he pauses, head hanging low in shame. He hasn’t forgiven himself for what happened with Mina that night.

“And what would’ve been different if you knew I was sick?”

“I… wouldn’t have been so angry.”

“You weren’t being angry, Kook. We were young and you were always playing around and wanted to enjoy yourself, have fun with people, and take advantage of what life had to offer and you took it. You were just being a kid… and we were just so different.”

“But you were sick.”

“Yeah but only until I was 13. I mean, it was bad when I was younger but after the second surgery, it was all better. My whole family was still scared though and that rubbed off on me. I kept to the same life I was living because I couldn’t stand them being so worried. I couldn’t stand anybody being worried, that’s why I never really told anyone. Not the other friends I made, not even my ex-boyfriends. Not you.”

“Didn’t you trust me?” he asks, suddenly looking like an unwanted puppy. You realized this about Jungkook, that he likes attention, but not in an arrogant or obnoxious way. He just likes to know he’s cared for, that he’s trusted, that he’s considered.

“I did but like I said, I didn’t want you to worry.” You lift your legs off the floor and angle yourself towards Jungkook.

“I’d just turned 4 and one of our house helpers brought her daughter to our house,” you recall. “She’d never seen such a big garden and she wanted us to play. Mom always told me not to but my new friend was so excited and I didn’t wanna let her down so I agreed and we were running around when my nanny wasn’t looking. After a while it was getting hard to breathe and I fainted. Mom said my friend thought I died and wouldn’t stop crying, even begged to stay in the hospital until I woke up.” You close your eyes and think about her.

“She wouldn’t stop apologizing to me, even years later. There was a mix of pity and sadness in her eyes that I couldn’t get off my head. I knew she meant well but I just didn’t want people to feel burdened by something that no one could control. I didn’t want them to pity or define me by what’s broken in me,” you continue. “I’m more than that.”

You and Jungkook find comfort in the silence as he absorbs what you just said. He reflects at how on-brand it is that you chose to keep something that big a secret for the benefit of others, and for you, too, just so that you won’t feel any less of a person just because your heart didn’t form the correct way. You’d spent your whole life making sure no sickness, no person would ever make you feel inferior or inadequate, that you would find your place in this world and know you deserve it.

This is what he’d been jealous of all those years growing up. And he feels like the biggest fool on the planet.

“It’s not that I never liked you, ___,” Jungkook starts after some time, recalling what Junghyun always tells him, that you think he never really liked you.

“I’ve just always been kind of antagonistic towards you, I guess, because you always got to do what you want, got to pursue your passion with the support of your parents, got to make a career out of something that genuinely makes you happy.”

He sighs and thinks of how he used to feel entitled to his feelings towards you, like it was warranted.

“Our parents grew up the same but mine always told me what to do, what to be… I just thought it was unfair. It’s why I never really warmed up to you, it’s because I was jealous of how you got to live your life.”

You turn to him, eyes the softest they’ve ever been. You never looked at it this way, never considered how everybody’s treatment of you would affect him. There were standards and expectations placed on all of you as children. There were many things you had to learn as kids, the things that would help build your character and capacities as heirs of your families’ respective wealth and legacies. You and Jungkook were the same age, yet despite never being compared to each other, the expectations placed on him were more burdensome than what were placed on you.

Your parents gave you the utmost love and care, and that included his, while what they gave him was measured. They gave you freedom, while they ensured he knew his limits. They gave you everything you wanted, while he had to earn every single thing in his life. They let you pursue the things that make you happy, while he had to mold himself into someone good enough for his job.

You take his hand in yours, as if to comfort him for all the years that he had to keep this all to himself.

“It was that jealousy, the anger and frustration towards my parents, even myself, that I let control my life. I guess it’s why I was always getting myself into trouble, you know? Why I was always doing things I shouldn’t, why I was always questioning and rejecting everything, like I was getting back at them or something…” He laughs, realizing how immature he’d been.

“It’s why I was dating girls I knew they’d never approve of, or why I didn’t want to be engaged to you.” He turns to you with a sorry look on his eyes. “You symbolized the very things they wanted and expected of me to have - a stable life, a beautiful wife, a daughter they adore. And I wanted to rebel against that.”

He scoots closer to you and caresses your face, tracing his eyes all over it to take in your beauty. “I held those things over you and I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that.”

You nod, unable to say any words. You’d always thought it was just that troublemaker nature of his, the one that was cheeky and rebellious because he always felt like forging a path different from what his parents wanted, especially growing up behind the shadow of Junghyun who was every bit perfect as any son should be. You didn’t realize a lot of it had something to do with you.

He places a soft kiss on your forehead and pulls you close to him. “And I’m sorry again for that day at my parents’, and for that night we fought. I didn’t know any better.”

“I forgive you, Kook,” you say, wishing he wouldn’t talk about those incidents anymore. They’d broken your heart too much and you just want to let those memories go.

You allow yourself to hold him, too. You wrap your arms around his torso as his hand caresses your back.

You stay there for a while, no other words shared, until it gets too cold and you both decide to head back inside.

He stands unmoving in the middle of the living room, scared you’ll leave again, or that he’ll wake up the next day and you’re gone. He doesn’t want you to spend another night alone and neither does he.

But like those nights ago, he doesn’t do anything. He’s worried you’ll pull away if he reaches out again, worried you won’t want him there. It’s ironic how that’s exactly what he wanted you to do at the beginning, but now the thought of it terrifies him.

“I’ll get ready for bed,” you say, hand ghosting your room’s door knob.

“You’ll be okay?” he asks, voice so soft he barely hears himself.

“Yes. You?”

“I’ll try.”

“Good night, Kook. I’ll see you in the morning.”

It’s not an invite to your bed, not a request to stay a little longer with him. But you’ll see him in the morning. You’ll be here. You won’t be gone. And that’s enough for him. For now.

You and Jungkook go back to the same rhythm you had before the fight. Only this time, he insists on adding another day to drive you to and from work. He holds your hand every time he does. He sits closer to you on the couch, lingers in the kitchen when you’re cooking, waters the flowers for you, texts you more times during the day. He kisses you on the forehead every night before you go to bed and watches you enter your room before he climbs the stairs to his.

“Maybe he’s falling in love with you,” was Yeji’s guess. You told your friends all these changes as you met up one Saturday for your gown fitting. “I would be if my fiancé looked this beautiful.”

You blushed at your friend’s statement and mirrored her twinkling eyes as you stared at your reflection, dressed in your dream wedding gown that Nari had so exquisitely created.

“Or maybe he’s guilty,” Minhyuk replied, bursting your bubble. “I would be if I spent years shunning a person who turned out to be sick this whole time.”

The girls scowled at him. “Sorry, ___,” he said, shame painted on his face.

“It’s okay. You’re right though. I thought I was the only one thinking it,” you replied.

“Don’t go there, ___,” Yeji reprimanded you. “Doesn’t Junghyun think that Jungkook’s always had a soft spot for you, too? Knowing the truth probably just intensified that. It shouldn’t change your feelings for him, too.”

“Are you in love with him?” Nari asked as she faced you to fix the hem of your sleeves.

You left the question unanswered and your friends didn’t prod. It’s not that you didn’t know if you’re in love with him or not; you didn’t answer because although you’ve come to the realization that yes, you are falling in love with him, you’ve also started to feel something for the first time in years - fear.

You were scared he wouldn’t feel it, too. Contrary to what you told him, you were allured by the thought of loving your husband - not just trusting and respecting him - and being loved back.

It’s tempting to think that he might be feeling something more for you as well. But you have to be cautious, you thought. He might just be confused or guilty. He might just be caught up in the moment.

He’d broken your heart even before you truly loved him. Loving him now would mean giving him the power to break your heart again; you just don’t know if you trust him enough this time that he wouldn’t.

Jungkook takes longer to sleep at night, partly wondering if you’re sleeping well, partly counting the days until he gets to marry you so he can wake up and fall asleep next to you.

He starts to think about this, how thoughts of you consume him everyday. All the things about you that he’s fond of are magnified, and they’re suddenly the most beautiful things in the world to him - how you smile, how you laugh, how soft your touch is, how pretty you look with mussed hair and in oversized sweatshirts, how obsessed you are with scented candles; even your tiny sneezes ease his frustrations.

They sound silly and superficial but he can’t help but warm at the thought of you. It drives him crazy because although you return his affection, he isn’t exactly sure what you feel for him. And suddenly not being wanted back scares him more than anything.

Before you know it, the weekend of the wedding has come.

It was a sprint to the finish line with all the last minute details, one you’re glad that your parents stressed over instead of you. That’s why you and Jungkok wanted a simple wedding, so that everything is simple to put together, too. But your parents had to busy themselves with making sure that everything was perfect, and that the wedding remained a secret, as you’d requested.

You both take the Friday off and drive to the venue that morning. Your parents insisted that although you already live together, you should still sleep separately, at least for tonight. You willingly comply, indulging them for the last time, as if the finality of the wedding day means they have nothing more to ask of you after that.

You spend the day with your respective friends and get pampered in time for the wedding eve dinner.

Jungkook eyes you up and down when you show up in a white patchwork lace mini dress, your hair tied in a messy bun. You look stunning and he has half a mind not to drool at the sight of you right then and there.

He takes your hand in his and keeps it there for most of the night. The presence of relatives and his other close friends is a welcome distraction from all the thoughts running through his mind. He greets, chats, and talks about you with admiration. You’re not used to it, but the twinkle in his eye and the shy smiles he gives you lets you know there’s truth to everything he’s saying. It's something you mirror, too, when it came to your relatives and other friends.

The night feels like a blur and your goodbyes to the guests signal its end.

Jungkook walks you to your room and lingers outside your door. “Last chance to back out. You sure about this?” He asks softly, his smile not matching the nervousness he feels.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that, Mr. ‘Why do you want to do this?’” you say, mocking him from that first dinner you had together.

He chuckles. “This may come as a surprise to you, ___, but I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

You swallow hard and try to contain your surprise. You should be happy with how things are but you can’t help but feel wary and nervous and you dislike it. You wanted this, didn’t you? You guess you wanted the straightforwardness and practicality of the marriage but didn’t expect that actual feelings would complicate things.

He was appalled with the proposition, disbelieving of you when you said you wanted this, and now he stands in front of you, telling you he’s certain he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

You keep all these thoughts in a nook in your mind and will yourself to believe in his words.

“Okay. Then I’m sure.”

He places a kiss on your forehead and walks away.

You watch him disappear down the hallway. When you wake up the next day and exchange your vows, there’s no turning back. It would be you and him from then on. You’ll have a lifetime growing with each other, caring for each other, and if you’re lucky, loving each other.

It might as well be a drama you’re filming with all the tears falling on everyone’s faces, even on the twins, who are crying too because they think their mom is hurt.

But it’s not out of sadness that their baby girl is finally getting married - although you think they’re all just relieved that it’s even happening, with everybody holding their breaths until the last minute, in case one of you changes your mind and calls the wedding off.

It’s really out of joy, like a realization of a dream, the alignment of planets, like setting in stone and immortalizing an impenetrable bond. Jungkook's grandparents and yours believe all this. It’s why they’re standing in front of you with tears in their eyes, as if you’re a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in human form - something they could only imagine and fantasize about but never actually reach.

Of course, you’re only half of it. The other half is in the waiting room next door, alone, because both of your families are more excited to see you. Clearly, nothing has changed.

You smile as you think about Jungkook’s unbelieving look, seeing that all his family members are with you and not with him, with his two best friends only returning after sneaking to catch a glimpse of you.

They all give you one last smile before they leave, perhaps drop by next door and then proceed to the venue that’s not far away.

Seokjin takes longer to leave, tears still falling, the words “my baby sister is all grown up” constantly leaving his mouth. With a final hug and your “thank you” for always looking out for you, he exits the waiting room, Mina squeezing his hand and comforting him.

You’re left alone with Nari who can’t keep her eyes off you - her muse dressed in her favorite creation yet. You wanted simple and classy while highlighting your form - and your best feature, your shoulders, she claims.

It’s an off-shoulder, ivory-colored silk gown, the front fabrics overlapping and framing your neck and décolletage area, as you opt to skip the necklace. The skirt is fixed on the waist and then flows all the way down, the train not too long so you can move around properly. Your hair is parted in the middle, soft curls grazing past your shoulders and tucked behind your ears that are adorned with your mother’s pink diamond earrings.

“I can’t stop crying,” she says, sniffles echoing throughout the room.

“I know,” you smile.

“Why aren’t you?”

“It hasn’t sunk in yet, I guess,” you say.

You’re filled with emotions like everyone else, but they’re manifesting instead through knots in your chest, sweaty hands, and the twisting of your intestines. You’re nervous but also excited.

It’s happening. You’re marrying your childhood friend, the sweet doe-eyed boy whose hand you wanted to hold when he reached it out to you to play in the playground. Now you’ll be taking his hand and holding it for the rest of your life.

Jungkook knows you’re going to look beautiful. When not made up and in normal clothes, you already do, what more now? But as the doors open to reveal your form in the gorgeous dress, his jaw hits the floor. You surprise him again, like always, and he didn’t think you could get any prettier than last night but here you are, looking ethereal and absolutely breathtaking.

“You’re drooling,” Junghyun teases beside him.

“Can’t help it,” Jungkook responds; immediately closing his mouth that just won’t stop dropping open.

You walk down the aisle and every step you take is matched with his chest constricting; suddenly he can’t breathe. You look up at him, the gentlest smile decorating your delicate features, making him want to skip the entire thing and fast forward to the part where he has to kiss you.

It takes a nudge from his brother to break him out of his daze and he reaches out his hand to you. You look at it, suddenly recalling 4 year-old Jungkook. At your lack of movement he thinks to himself, take it, please don’t break my heart again.

And you don’t. You’re broken out of your reverie and you place your hand in his.

“Hi,” he smiles.

“Hi,” you smile back.

You both nod at the minister to proceed and you finally get to appreciate the lake that serves as your background. If the timing is right, you and Jungkook should be saying your vows to each other right as the sun sets. And you do, and it’s absolutely stunning.

In the four small walls of the venue that’s being illuminated with the setting sun, you hear sniffles and clearing of throats to mask cries, most definitely from your parents and grandparents. But all the noise die down as the minister instructs both of you to conclude the rite with a kiss.

You turn face-to-face, hands cradling each other’s, and you move closer to commit the act that would bind your marriage.

It’s soft and feather-like, you almost miss it. Leave it to Jungkook to ogle at you like he’d never seen you dressed in a gown before, and then kiss you for a millisecond like he just wants to get it over with. The flushed look on his face somewhat makes up for it though, as he looks so adorable and incredibly hot at the same time, what with his dark gray suit matching his honey skin so well.

He takes your hand in his after the photos are taken, so you can leave and take more photos. During the moments you’re alone, neither of you say much, focused instead on the instructions of the photographer.

In the reception venue, things happen as they should - you socialize - thankful for the small and intimate celebration you insisted - sneak in bites of the food and dessert that have been making your mouth water since you eyed them, and maintain your smile with every compliment on how good you and Jungkook look together and the excitement for your future babies.

Jungkook, on the other hand, feels like his hands have a life of their own, as he just can’t keep them off you. They’re on you, whether it’s your hand, waist, arm, hair, your bare shoulders, or your half-bare back. He can’t stop smiling, too.

Before you know it, the guests are saying goodbye, your friends and families are telling you they’ll give you some privacy, and you’re in a buggy heading to your private villa to spend your first night with Jungkook as husband and wife.

It’s not as eventful as one might expect. You’re both really tired (or nervous?), and that’s shown in the small talks you both resign to, the simple back and forth of question and answer. It isn’t until you ask him to unzip your dress from the back that the air gets tense, and he asks if he can shower first and he runs to the bathroom right as you say yes.

You take your time with your bath, which is complete with rose petals, essential oils, and a scented candle, and you let the warm water calm down your nerves. By the time you finish, Jungkook is asleep, tucked under the covers on the edge of his side of the bed.

Jungkook wakes up from a dream, the kind where he’s free falling, causing him to jerk off the bed. He spreads his arm and realizes that you’re not next to him when he finds an empty space instead.

He turns to the other side and sees you dressed in a silk robe over your matching nightgown, arms crossed with your eyes darting outside the window. He checks the alarm clock and sees it’s almost 4AM.

“___? Everything okay?” He calls out.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you reply, turning to him then back out the window. “I’d stay out but it’s freezing.”

“Are you cold now?” He asks. His feet finds the floor and walks to you, a safe distance in between.

“I’m okay,” you smile.

He looks out to see what’s caught your attention and marvels at the lake reflecting the moon. Of course, the water makes you think.

“I couldn’t really sleep. I think it’s sinking in just now,” you say after a long silence. “It’s you and me from now on, Jungkook. There’s no more turning back from this.”

He notices your deep breaths. “Are you scared?” He asks.

This catches you off-guard, and you stop yourself before you admit that yes, you are, for reasons you don't want to say.

He takes your silence as a yes. “You don’t have to be. Whatever it is you’re scared of, we’ll face it together, okay?” He walks towards you and you shiver at his proximity. “From now until the end of our lives, we’ll have each other.”

He reaches out to you, fingers brushing your arm, as if to test the waters. You move towards him a little, as if to say it’s okay. He slides his arm around your shoulder and holds you close, chin resting atop your head, not missing the sudden stiffness of your body. He soothes your back and you wrap your arms around him.

You’re suddenly hyper-aware of everything about Jungkook, especially with how he feels at this moment, but he relaxes at the feel of you, hoping you’ll do the same.

You release a soft laugh. “Not so nervous anymore, Kook?” A teasing smile gracing your face as you look up at him. “Don’t think I didn’t miss you stuttering a little bit during our vow exchange.”

He laughs this time and scratches the back of his head with his other hand. “I was, wasn’t I? Even during the kiss, I felt so jittery. I…” he pauses, catching your eye. “I was so annoyed at myself because that’s not how I wanted to kiss you.”

You gather yourself and with a cocked brow, you ask. “How did you want to kiss me?”

“Not like that,” he chuckles, his arms falling limp at the side. “I mean, you were standing there looking like a literal goddess and I gave you a peck on the lips like a 7-year old giving his first kiss.”

You blush at this confession; he’d never complimented you like this.

“I wanted to at least put more conviction into that kiss. You know, like I mean it.”

Your breath hitches and suddenly he’s looking so incredibly beautiful with his rosy cheeks and Bambi eyes, staring back at you and you hold on to this temporary moment of bravery. “Then do it, Jungkook. Kiss me like you mean it.”

He pauses his motions as if he doesn’t expect that from you. But he snaps out of his daze to finally cup your face with his hands and he presses his lips onto yours, like what he wanted to do since you stood in front of him after your walk down the aisle.

His kiss is purposeful yet tender at the same time, like he wants to savor every bit of you that his lips get to touch. You mirror his movements and your hands, which have fallen limp on your side, find their way back to his waist, which you caress, causing him to shiver at your feather-like touches.

But he wants more of you so his tongue ghosts your lips and you open them to grant him access. He guides your head as he angles his, making sure your positions allow you to take in as much of each other as you can. And you do. He shudders at your taste and you shudder at his, relishing his mint and cherry flavor. You both continue like this, movements so delicate but firm, steady but desperate.

He pulls away when he feels you tug on his shirt, scared he’s not giving you room to breathe. He smiles at how into the kiss you are though, and he presses his forehead on yours, his eyes closed as he basks in your presence. “How was that?”

“Good,” you say, catching your breath.

“Can I do it again?” He asks, eyes now open to search for the answer in yours.

You place your hand over his that’s already found its place on your neck in the heat of the moment. “You can do more,” you say, as you guide his hand towards your breast.

He squeezes in reflex and he grunts at the feel of you. He hates that he doesn’t remember the first time but he’ll take this; he’ll take his time with you tonight and commit every single thing to memory.

He regains consciousness when your fingers ghost his nipple, which hardens at the touch and he shivers. He pulls you in for more kisses, pace and movement still the same but with soft moans now escaping you and filling his mouth as he continues to fondle your breast. His other hand moves south as well and slowly finds its way underneath the hem of your dress. He caresses the expense of your thigh before his hand travels towards your core, fingers lightly touching the silk material of your underwear.

You moan louder at this and you whisper his name, immersing yourself in the feel of him and the pleasure he’s giving you. His hand backs away and you stop yourself from showing your disappointment and continue to kiss him instead, something you can’t seem to stop doing.

He brings both of his hands to your shoulders and slowly pushes off your robe. Your gown is next, as he shoves down the straps and lets the dress fall to the ground as well and god do you look unbelievably beautiful bare like this. He nudges your thighs upward and you wrap your legs around him as he carries you and lays you down softly on the bed, lips once more attacking each other.

He stops only to pull his shirt off and you immediately claim his shoulders and savor the feel of his taut muscles and smooth skin. He lets go of your lips and heads south, down to your jaw, then your neck where he leaves marks to remind you of this the next day.

He reaches the valley of your breasts and stops to lightly trace his fingers over the scar that decorates your chest. You shiver at his touch and watch him memorize the crooked line that marks your fixed brokenness, the mark that represents your strength. He’ll let this one remind him of how lucky he is that you survived.

It’s his lips now that trace it, and then he moves to lave at your left breast while his hand expertly massages the other. And then he switches.

He takes his time on every part of you, taking note of what movement makes you buck your hip, what part he licks and bites that elicits a moan, what pace lets you shiver and relax, and what combination of movements causes your breath to hitch. He takes note of these for tomorrow, the next day, and the next. If you’ll let him. Suddenly all he can think about is doing this everyday.

He moves further down, kissing every inch of skin on the way, pulls down the last piece of clothing on you and he relishes the look and scent of your arousal. You’re just about to react to seeing his head in between your thighs but the air is caught on your throat when he suddenly licks the full strip of your lips, tasting the slick that’s coating your cunt.

He moans at the taste of you and proceeds to let his tongue dance along the expanse of it, from your lips to your clit, to the inside of your heat, both hands caressing the strip from your waist to your outer thighs.

You grunt when you feel two fingers slide inside you. “Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” He says, as he watches your distorted face react to his ministrations.

“Don’t,” you respond between heavy breaths. He smirks and his tongue goes back to your clit while his fingers continue its attack on your hole. It’s when he feels you clench that he knows you’re close, and your orgasm hits you like a freight train.

He murmurs sweet nothings on your inner thighs and travels back up to press soft kisses on every inch of you as he helps you ride your high. Soon enough he’s facing you again, his soft smile mirroring yours. You wipe your slick off his lips and he chases your fingers before you can wipe them clean, and takes them in his mouth. “Too precious to waste,” he says.

You swallow hard at the sight and just as you’re about to process the orgasm you just had, he asks, “can I feel all of you, ___?”

You nod and bite your lip, internally readying yourself for him. You treat this like your first time, like you don’t know what to expect.

Your breath hitches at the feel of his hard tip on your entrance. “I’ll go slow,” he says, and closes his eyes as he goes deeper - unhurried, cautious - until he bottoms out. He curses when he does and Jungkook’s momentarily hypnotized until you tell him that he can move.

“Just tell me if it’s too much, okay? I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispers in your ear before nibbling on it, and proceeds to finally move in and out of you.

His thrusts are slow at first until he finds his rhythm. With one arm supporting himself and another one holding your hand in place above your head, fingers interlocking, you match each other’s tempo, his push against your own. You meet him in the middle and you feel so heavenly, so right, that it takes self-control on his end not to shove himself in you and fuck you senseless.

But he wouldn’t. He’s not acting out of carnal desire or lustful need like last time. This is more impassioned and deliberate. He wants you to feel his every movement, wants you to decipher the meaning of his every motion. He wants you to feel all of him, just as he’s desperate to feel all of you.

With your one arm glued above your head and the other caressing his shoulder, Jungkook explores your body as you continuously buck into each other, moans and heavy breathing filling the room. It’s when his mouth finds your breast again, causing you to pull his hair, that you both feel your impending orgasms, slowly building until the knots on your stomachs feel too much.

“I’m close,” you whisper.

“Me too. Let me cum inside, ___.”

You nod in response.

You let go first, a whine accompanying your release, then he follows shortly after at the feel of your slick all over his cock and your pussy clenching around him.

He grunts and holds himself up as he softens inside you, and then he collapses next to you, sweat trickling down his forehead, a sheen of it coating his chest.

He takes a moment before he cleans you up. He lays next to you, tired and satisfied. He pulls the blanket over you, tugs you close and kisses your forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he says.

It’s the knowing looks from your siblings that make you blush, as they take in your form clad in a turtleneck sweatshirt and jeans later that morning.

“Honey,” your dad calls out to you as you arrive in the hotel’s restaurant. “We thought you two wouldn’t make it. Too tired from last night?” He innocently asks.

Seokjin chokes on the mango he’s eating, prompting everyone to look at him. “Sorry, swallowed a big piece of fruit,” he says, a smug look on his face as he eyes you and Jungkook.

“Yes, Father. There was much moving around yesterday and that tired me a little bit.” You shyly respond, again eliciting muffled laughs from your siblings.

You furrow your brows at them, as if to tell them to stop, but think about how it used to be like this when you were younger and they’d tease you about Jungkook. Back then he used to not pay attention to you and wouldn’t have noticed the smirks and side comments; now he notices everything.

Pretty soon the older members of your families are replaced by your friends, who had too much fun the night before and are just now starting their day, and you spend the rest of the afternoon with them until you all have to leave. You and Jungkook would’ve stayed another day but he has meetings he can’t miss and you have projects you need to finish.

The drive back home is entertaining and you’re thankful for your friends’ presence; Nari’s team went home earlier and dragged Jimin with her, whose ride - Taehyung - got too emotional with the ceremony and decided to stay another day with his girlfriend. Nari and Jimin wouldn’t stop talking about last night’s drunken shenanigans and you have to hold onto Jungkook’s arm for support due to your uncontrollable laughter. He smiles at you and thinks that he wants to be able to make you laugh like this, too.

You finally arrive home with dinner out of the way. You absent-mindedly walk towards your room and he calls out.

“Hey, ___? Would it be an odd request to ask my wife to sleep next to me?” He asks shyly.

And then it hits you - it’s your first night as a married couple in your apartment; it doesn’t make sense to still sleep separately.

“Of course not, Kook,” you smile, masking the nervousness you feel. “Let me just grab my things and you can start washing up. I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay, you uhm… you don’t have to bring all your stuff right away. I can, uhm, help you out tomorrow or something,” he says. You soften at the way he stutters; clearly he’s nervous too.

“Okay, Kook,” you reply.

By the time you exit the master’s bathroom after a long bath, Jungkook still lies stiffly on the bed, as if he’s suddenly lost his ability to move. His eyes follow you as you lie down next to him, nightgown rising up to expose your thighs as you find a comfortable position, and his dick twitches at the sight.

He’s obviously attracted to you, that’s already been established, but with the wedding and all, his attraction towards you is heightened, and he can’t shake off the thought that you feel so near yet so far.

“Good night,” you tell him, completely unaware of your effect on him. You lay on your side with your back facing him and he’s glad you can’t see the disappointment on his face.

Earlier this morning, you probably just thought the act was required to consummate the marriage. The question isn’t so much if you enjoyed it - you seemed like you did - but if you want to do it again, if you want to feel him again. He clearly does.

You’re right there, hair flowing elegantly on the pillow, bare underneath your garment, and he has to steady his breathing just so he won’t be tempted to touch himself at the sight of you.

He takes his chances though, and hovers his hand above your waist, until he finally rests it lightly on the curve that he wants so badly to caress. He waits, and he all but jumps at the moment when you take his arm and wrap it tighter around you, prompting him to scoot closer. He can smell you even better now, your lavender scent hypnotizing him.

He wants to do more - cradle your breast, nuzzle your neck and hear you moan; he wants to kiss your shoulder and whisper sweet nothings in your ears. But you lay there, hand removed from his, and he thinks that he’ll take it. You’re next to him, breathing, dreaming. And that’s enough. At least for now.

It’s been over a month since the wedding and you’re silently thanking Junghyun and your siblings for their intervention not long ago when they convinced you and Jungkook to move in together because they were right - doing it after the wedding would’ve added so much more stress.

Jungkook’s meetings are endless and although you try to stick to the schedule you agreed on, sometimes he has to go to work too early or stay too late. He gets calls in the middle of your late dinner, telling him he has an early morning flight to Tokyo the next day. He’s even swapped his Saturday game nights with reviewing reports and taking business calls, prompting you to spend time playing against his best friends on his behalf. And unfortunately for him, he still has to attend all those year-end parties and events.

You, on the other hand, have to split your time between his events and your own. You’re also submitting your pieces for an art exhibition for early next year, and you can’t control it when inspiration strikes in the wee hours of the morning.

Thinking about having to move in, designing the space, and finding a rhythm in a new place while work for both of you is at its peak would’ve untimely tested your relationship that was already shaky to begin with, something you’re glad you got to avoid.

In the midst of everything, Jungkook never fails to call. Even if all he can get is a 5-minute break in between meetings, he’ll talk to you. He calls before and after every board of a plane, every check-in and check-out of a hotel, and when he knows he’ll be home late.

You address each other’s needs, too. Jungkook has this tell, especially when he’s stressed, where he nuzzles your neck and releases heavy breaths, which lets you know what he’s thinking.

Sex with him is great; mind blowing, even, truly the best you’ve ever had. After that gentle “first” time after your wedding day, it gradually got harder, wilder; still passionate and desperate, just a lot more rough.

It took a while since he was always conscious that he’ll hurt you. “I’m not fragile, Kook. You don’t need to go too easy on me; I won’t break,” you had to assure him multiple times. You know he hates feeling like he’s using you but you let him, as it gives you just as much pleasure as it does him.

You blush at how quickly he gets hard with just your featherlight touches, how he clenches his jaw to control himself whenever more of your skin is revealed. He leaves bruises on you, which you say is okay, moans obscenely and oh so deliciously with every swirl of your tongue around his cock, grunts with every lap of his on your pussy, and curses in delight with every thrust in and out of you.

Sex always ends with his delicate kisses over all the places he’s touched, over all the marks he’s left, and over your lips, letting you drown in his addictive taste. You conclude it with a turn on your side and an acknowledgment of the act with a “thank you” and a “good night.”

“How’s married life?” Min-jun asks Jungkook, the former breaking the spell the younger one is under, as he watches you play with the kids with such ease.

Your families finally find the time for a short break right before the first quarter of the year's end and are at a ski resort for a few days. Everyone is gathered in the common area, doing their own thing, but mostly watching the kids in amusement as they play around the living room.

“It’s good, stable, better than I imagined,” Jungkook responds with a swig of his beer.

“Why, how did you imagine it would be like?” Min-jun laughs. Jungkook scrunches his eyebrows to think until the older man stops him. “Never mind, I have an idea.”

Both men watch the happenings in the living room, letting the children’s shrieks fill the entire space, until Seoyeon approaches them and Min-jun immediately hands her his beer, which she almost finishes. “Thanks, babe. Please prepare them for bed tonight. I’m so tired,” she says, huffing.

Her husband nods. “I’ll give you a massage, too,” he says.

“Hmm, that would be nice,” she hums, kisses his cheek, and goes back to the living room to ask Soojin to stop canonballing from the couch.

Jungkook smiles at this, recalling those years crushing on Seoyeon, not just because of how beautiful she was, but also because of how she was always assertive and firm, unyielding in all the things she wanted and very ambitious. She never took shit from their trio of rascals and always fought back, something she took with her as she grew up.

“How did you two work it out?” Jungkook finally asks. “Weren’t you arranged to marry too?”

Min-jun thinks about this. “More like arranged to date. We decided to get married on our own, it just made sense that way. We were good friends, got along well, didn’t really believe much in all the love fluff. We knew it was more practical,” he explains.

“Doesn’t seem that way,” Jungkook chuckles, which is true. Seoyeon remains to be a force at work; she’s someone who demands respect and isn’t afraid to make the hard decisions. But she softens at her husband, throws heart eyes at him when he’s not looking, and becomes a blubbering mess when he compliments her. Min-jun mirrors all this when it comes to her, too.

“At some point I stopped looking at her as just the professional I admired, the one who made an entire room of men pee their pants because she scolded them for being shit at their jobs,” he laughs, recalling the incident. He was one of those men.

“She’s actually funny and clumsy, knows shit about cooking but is the most organized person I know. She tends to overthink, has a temper, wants things done her way, but she’s also passionate, has a heart for others, and is a really good listener.”

Jungkook tries to absorb all this and is enamored by how Min-jun talks about his wife with such candidness and admiration.

“These Kim women are really strong, Jungkook,” he continues. “Their strength makes them the incredible people they are, but so do the other things about them. The good and not-so-good stuff - those are what make them real, those are what make you love them.” He angles himself towards the younger man.

“___ is more than her sickness, more than her strength. You can’t look at her as a one-dimensional being who can’t do anything wrong. Don’t put her on a pedestal. See her for her, for what makes her, her. All the great parts and her flaws and mistakes. When you realize you still want her despite all of that, that’s when you know you love her,” Min-jun continues.

Jungkook snaps his head towards him, eyes wide in surprise. “That’s what you really wanted to know, right? How I knew I was in love with my wife?”

The younger man smiles. God, he’s so transparent.

“Don’t force it, but don’t fight it either. You’re adults, Jungkook. You may have been compelled to do this but there’s a reason why you didn’t run away when you could have, why you still pursued it when you had the option not to.”

Min-jun turns to Jungkook with a knowing smile he seems to see a lot from both of your families. “I think somewhere along the way, you started to feel something for her, if you didn’t already. The marriage was probably just the push you needed.”

Jungkook feels a twist in his chest, but not the bad kind. It’s excitement at the thought of crossing that line with you, which is ironic because you’re married but he means the one between settling for a path set out for you, and choosing it because it’s what you both want.

“I know you’re already married and have the rest of your life together but imagine actually being genuinely happy in this lifetime,” he continues, “with her and maybe little ones too, if you want,” he adds, as Soojin and Sunghoon run to him, shouting “daddy” and asking him to tuck them in for bed. He nods at Jungkook and carries the twins on his shoulders and climbs up the stairs.

Jungkook sits there with the image of you and him playing around with your own kids in the future. You did say that you wouldn’t raise a child in a loveless marriage, implying that it’s the kind you'll have. His heart twists at the thought; he can only hope for a chance to change that.

Jungkook thinks about what Min-jun said the rest of the trip; it fills his mind more than he wants it to. Marrying you should be straightforward; he didn’t have feelings to begin with and going on with your respective lives was the plan, except doing it side-by-side. But every time he’s with you, and especially when you’re lying next to him at night, he can’t help but think he wants more - and that he wants you to want it, too.

All the good parts about you, he absolutely adores. From how you always give your full attention to whoever it is you’re speaking with, your compassionate and empathetic nature, to your perpetual glow and radiance and how you stand out in a room because of it. He’s enamored by how you do everything with such elegance yet have the ability to relate with anyone, never making them feel inferior to you. Of course there’s the kindness, the intelligence, the talent, and the dulcet tone of your laugh and the sparkle in your eyes when you smile that he now can’t live without.

He thinks he still wants you even when you get overly and unnecessarily courteous, when you’re too worried about making a fool of yourself so you always stay on the safe side. You tend to overanalyze and keep things to yourself; you’re afraid of failure so you stay in your comfort zone more than you stay out of it. You’re also pretty stubborn. He’s realized you’re not the best at communication and this infuriates him more than he cares to admit.

But despite the frustrations these cause, he’s learned to love those parts of you too, and it isn’t as hard as he thought it would be.

That’s it, right? Love. That’s what he feels for you. He could’ve walked away but he didn’t. Something pulled him in - his love for his family and fear of disappointing them, maybe - but something is making him stay. And that’s you.

Jungkook misses a step again, something that’s been happening since you stepped out of your bathroom earlier in the evening.

How can he, when he can’t keep his eyes off you looking ravishing in your black halter gown? But he tries to keep his composure. It’s your night tonight and he doesn’t want to mess it up.

It’s one of the bigger art events of the year, with carefully curated pieces of different artists being featured in a special exhibition in one of Seoul’s well-known art galleries. You’re one of those artists, and you’ve spent the past several months making sure you get to present your best ones yet. Tonight is opening night, with your families and friends set to attend the next day.

Jungkook’s been nothing but supportive and understanding, especially when you wake up at 3 in the morning because an idea hit you. He’s seen you in work events, always graceful and composed. This is the first time he’s seeing you with your personal work being exhibited, and you’re a nervous wreck. A gorgeous nervous wreck, he corrects.

You both enter the hall and you will yourself to get it together. You’re pacified when you see Namjoon, another one of your brother’s old friends and a massive art enthusiast. He delights at the sight of you and takes you in for a tight hug.

“You look incredible, ___. I’m so sorry I missed the wedding,” he says apologetically. “I was shipped off to a conference abroad that I couldn’t get out of.”

“Don’t worry about it! We missed you though,” you say, and internally gush over his dimpled smile that you've always adored.

Jungkook reaches out his hand and introduces himself, which Namjoon responds to with his self-introduction.

“Seokjin wasn’t kidding when he said you two make a lovely couple.” He turns to you, “I’m so happy for you, ___. God, you’re so grown up,” he smiles again.

The three of you continue on with your conversation about the wedding and how Namjoon has been, with you ensuring that Jungkook is involved. Namjoon won’t stop gushing over your pieces, and you blush at his compliments. It’s when his face changes the same time someone calls out your name that you feel your heart skip a beat.

You turn around.

“Mingyu, it’s so nice to see you,” you greet the man.

The name sounds familiar, Jungkook thinks. He’s heard his name before but not from you.

“This is Jungkook, my husband,” you say, and Jungkook reaches out his hand with a proud smile on his face, owning the husband badge and wearing it proudly. “This is Mingyu,” is all you say.

He gives Jungkook a shy smile. He looks harmless, Jungkook thinks. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the wedding,” he says.

Jungkook doesn’t remember a Mingyu making it to the initial guest list, but he keeps this thought to himself. Where does he know him from?

After the pleasantries are exchanged, you and Jungkook explore the hall and he all but jumps in excitement at your work. Of course, he’s seen them multiple times, as he usually visits your bedroom-turned-full time-studio to give you your tea, tell you to rest, or give you words of encouragement. Seeing them here, with all the other works of art, makes his heart swell with pride.

He enjoys how you blush at his compliments and rest your head on his shoulders out of embarrassment. He enjoys it, when you get close to him like this.

He excuses himself for a washroom break and you say you’ll be nearby. When he returns, he sees you by one of your pieces talking to Mingyu. Seeing the fondness in your face and your carefree laughter suddenly makes his heart churn. There’s an aura of familiarity between the two of you, like you’re in your own little bubble. You feel relaxed, giggling and excitedly talking. He’s not usually a jealous guy. Right?

He makes a guess and shoots Jimin a text. “What’s the name of ___’s ex?”

“The not-so-great one is Won-shik. The other one is Mingyu. Why?” Jimin replies.

Jungkook suddenly doesn’t feel too good. He wants to return to you but he feels stuck, and he chooses to torture himself by standing where he is and watching you two interact, past lovers who chose each other everyday, until you didn’t.

He knows of Won-shik; you’ve mentioned him a few times. His dad heads Song Corporations, that’s how you knew each other. It was early in college and it didn’t work because you didn’t have much in common. You’d speak about him so casually. But Mingyu? You don’t. Perhaps he hurt you? That would mean you loved him if he did.

“You have nothing to worry about,” a deep familiar voice says. Jungkook looks up and sees Namjoon next to him, looking at the exact scene his eyes can’t tear away from. “It’s been years. They’re just old friends catching up.”

This doesn’t do much to appease Jungkook. He wants to know more about Mingyu but he also doesn’t. If he hurt you though, you both seem to be fine, acting like old friends. That’s one other thing you and Jungkook didn’t really have though - friendship.

“Do you know what happened?” He asks the older man, courtesy out the window; it’s a question he needs answered.

“You should ask her.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Why?”

“I’m scared,” Jungkook blurts. This catches Namjoon off-guard but you catch their attention at the same moment, and you motion for them to come to you.

You engage all three men in conversation and you don’t miss the way Jungkook angles away from you, how he doesn’t take your hand like he has this whole night; you don’t miss his half smiles and forced interest.

Jungkook immerses himself in his own world the rest of the night, choosing to ignore Jimin’s messages and focuses on the art pieces that catch his eye. After some time, you’re tugging his arm. “Let’s go home, Kook. I’m tired.”

He nods and leads you out.

For the first time in a while, you’re uncomfortable with the silence inside the car. But you can see right through him and you know what’s bothering him.

You reach out for his hand that’s resting on the handbrake. “Mingyu’s my ex-boyfriend, but you probably know that already,” you start. Jungkook doesn’t respond.

“It was my senior year of college and we met at an art workshop. We were together for 3 years.”

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheeks at this, which is something he does to control his emotions.

He answers with a question after some time, your hand still in his. “Did you love him?”

“Yes,” you say with no hesitation. “But it didn’t work out.”

Jungkook makes up reasons in his head instead of asking you; somehow he thinks this is better. Maybe you don’t wanna talk about it.

“Was it your parents?” He finally asks. This could be the most acceptable one for him. Maybe they didn’t like Mingyu because they were holding out for that Jeon-Kim union they wanted, a thought he would’ve been angry at months ago but now, it’s his saving grace.

“No. They liked him.”

Jungkook breaks at this. It could’ve been Mingyu in his place right now. Why isn’t it him?

“Everything was good but he kept trying to meet standards no one set up for him but himself,” you explain. “I don’t think I ever made him feel like I wanted more than what he could give. He just looked so lowly at himself, always had to mention our differences in social status, which was never an issue for me, but no matter how much I showed I loved him, it just wasn’t enough.”

You recall when you two came to a head that one afternoon. You got tired trying to prove someone’s worth to them when they couldn’t see it. You loved each other deeply and you were happy, but like what you told Jungkook you’d realized, it isn’t just about love. Mingyu didn’t trust you enough, didn’t respect you enough; he always felt like you were trying to make into someone he isn’t, always felt like you were unhappy, that you’d leave him for someone else he thought was better.

Jungkook absorbs this but remembers something else. “He wasn’t in the initial guest list but he said he was invited.”

“I told him I was getting married but knew he wouldn’t come. He’s based in Canada right now. With his pregnant girlfriend. Who he’ll propose to when he gets back,” you say, catching Jungkook off-guard. “He’s only here to visit his sick mother but dropped by the exhibition when he saw my name on it.”

“Okay,” is all he manages to say. He feels like an idiot but also, this was something you deliberately kept to yourself.

“I noticed you disengage.”

“It’s silly.”

“It isn’t. I should’ve told you about him. I know we’re not —“ you stop. Not what? A couple? Together? Not in love with each other?

“I just didn’t think it mattered,” you say instead.

“He’s your ex-boyfriend whom you loved and who loved you back. That matters,” he urges.

“Not to us.”

You’re past it now. Jungkook is the one you’re married to, the one who fills your thoughts everyday, the one who makes you happy.

“I’m sorry,” you say.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he assures.

“I just want you to trust me.”

“I do.”

And love me. Truly love me. This, you don’t say.

“I do,” he repeats when you don’t say anything, lips kissing your hand that he’s holding tighter. You pretend he says it as a response to the desire you don’t make known.

Weeks pass since that night at the art exhibition and things are back to how they were, but better now with you and Jungkook not being as busy.

This prompts one of your uncles to convince you to finally book that all-expense paid trip to Fiji for your honeymoon as his wedding gift, but you make excuses. There’s an upcoming project you’re heading and you want to give it your full attention. It’s true, but it’s paradise in Fiji and you want to make sure you and Jungkook are where you want to be when you go there.

Jungkook thinks this too without you knowing. He still thinks about a lot of things, like how lucky Mingyu was that he was loved by you, and how stupid too for letting all that go. But still, he thanks the guy - not for breaking your heart - but for leaving you whole enough for him to love. You’d picked up the pieces after him, you’d said; you didn’t want anyone filling the hole he left. You wanted to do that on your own and you did, that’s why you agreed to marry him.

Another thing Jungkook thinks about is how you don’t really cuddle. Yes, you’re affectionate. You hug and hold hands - when your clothes are on, but not really when they’re off. Even with the sex - whether it’s the soft and sensual one or the rough and wild one - there are intimate things you still don’t do. You don’t really engage in pillow talk, you don’t shower together, you don’t deliberately hug him when you sleep. He can’t help but think of some invisible wall he wasn’t aware of that you put up.

It hits him all over again tonight when after your multiple orgasm-inducing sex, after you screaming his name and leaving scratches on his back, you turn around and ready yourself to sleep.

He wraps his arm around your waist and you let him, like always, but he wants to see your face, wants to drown in your smile, tuck your hair behind your ear; he wants you to say sweet nothings to each other until you both fall asleep.

“___, can I ask you something?” He calls out.

You turn around and he doesn’t miss the bit of distance you ensure is there. “Yeah?”

“How come you never linger?”

“What do you mean?”

“After we kiss or have sex you never… remain. You just turn away.”

You’re caught off-guard; it shows with how you just stare at him and hold your breath. But should you be surprised? Of course Jungkook noticed; he’s been paying attention to you, to the things you do and say, to the things you like and don’t like, what makes you happy and sad, how you react to him - and not just in bed but in general.

You don’t remain, like he says; you don’t stay in that moment with him.

There are certain intimate acts that you don’t indulge in; lingering is one of them. Cuddles in bed are rare, goodnight kisses from you after sex don’t happen, none of the emotion-baring “you mean so much to me” and “you make me happy” musings before you fall asleep; they’re just words caught in your throat that don’t see the light of day.

It’s how you keep your emotions in check. It’s how you steady yourself, how you manage that fear that’s crept up at the realization that you might be in love with him but he isn’t.

“I love you, you know?” He confesses. Head bowed down, he focuses on the space between you two. He doesn’t see the shocked look on your face.

Is he, really? Has he finally let go and allowed himself to truly feel that for you?

“I’m madly in love with you and I don’t know what to do, which is silly because we’re married and do everything married couples do… well,” he sighs, looking straight into your eyes, his onyx ones expressing all the emotions he’s been keeping in. “Except love each other. There’s still that,” he laughs softly, perhaps to ease the sudden tension in the room, which is evident with how you have not moved - nor blinked - at all, mouth slightly parted as an exit to the breath you’ve been holding in.

He shakes his head at your non-movement, as if to say to not mind his late night confessions. “You don’t have to say it back,” he says.

“Sometimes I think I don’t even deserve it but that’s what I’m working on. I want to deserve whatever it is you can give me, and I’ll take whatever that may be,” he affirms with a soft smile.

You want to tell him that you do love him, that’s not the issue. It’s his love that you’re not so sure about.

He motions to turn around but you stop him with a hand lightly touching his arm. You let this movement say the words that you can’t - I’m sorry, please understand, please don’t turn away. With a touch of your hand, you keep him at bay; he reckons this is enough.

He lays there facing you, his hand holding yours, and he kisses it softly. “Good night, ___.”

You didn’t sleep well last night. Jungkook’s words kept ringing in your head and you allowed yourself to peek through half-lidded eyes to see his sleeping form, so peaceful, so soft. Maybe hurt, too.

He said he loves you. You want that. For years you kept that special nook in your heart for him. You never nurtured it but you let it stay, until slowly it grew and consumed you. Now it’s something he feels for you too. But you’re scared it’s not what you imagined, you’re scared it’s out of pity, out of regret, and that’s not how you want to be loved.

It’s a Friday and Jungkook calls to say they have an affiliates’ dinner and you know he’ll be home late. “Don’t wait up for me,” he says, probably aware of your lack of sleep.

You take this time to enjoy your bath, the scent of vanilla calming you down.

“You have to learn to talk about things,” Seokjin told you earlier that day when you accompanied him to buy items for the home office that he’s surprising Mina with.

He noticed that your eyes didn’t shine at the mention of your husband like they normally did. This prompted him to ask if everything was okay. You told him the truth, as you didn’t want your brother to get the wrong idea and punch Jungkook this time around.

“Hey, I talk about things,” you said defensively.

“Only when you’re in control.” You kept silent. “But you don’t think you are and you’re scared he doesn’t mean what he said. So now you’re gonna keep this to yourself and then you’ll keep him at bay. And you know what you’re gonna miss out on if you don’t talk to him?”

“What?”

“Genuine happiness.”

You sighed at this, knowing your brother’s right.

“You know I would’ve chopped his head off at one point so I hope you believe me when I say that you have nothing to worry about,” Seokjin continued. “He talks about you like you hold galaxies in your eyes, ___. I’d never seen him this happy.”

You sigh to yourself. You’re happy too, just not fully, completely, and it's because you're holding back. You want him to know how you feel but you’re scared.

But even in the midst of your restlessness, you can’t wait for him to come home and be with you again.

You’re in the state of falling into deep sleep when you feel a dip on the bed, and your half conscious mind expects to feel your husband’s heat radiate from his body next to you, but you don’t. Instead, you hear footsteps trail down the stairs and the bed suddenly feels empty.

Does he not want to sleep next to you tonight?

You’re suddenly wide awake and you lay there for a while. Your heart can’t take the thought of Jungkook thinking that you don’t love him back.

You make your way downstairs and see him lying on the couch drifting into sleep, his phone forgotten on his chest. You kneel next to his subconscious form and admire how beautiful he looks.

“Hey, Kook,” you mumble, hand ghosting his taut arm, and you’re tempted to trace the veins decorating it.

His eyes flutter open and his face softens at the sight of you. “Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were asleep,” he says, slightly propping himself up with his elbows.

“Bed felt empty, suddenly felt cold,” you pout. You don’t want to think he didn’t intend on sleeping next to you, probably upset at the words you didn’t say last night.

“Sorry,” he says, amused at your sulky form. “Wanted to play my game on my phone then I dozed off.”

You stay kneeling next to him and focus on the floor, silence enveloping you two.

“I’m sorry,” you finally say.

He doesn’t act oblivious. He knows why you’re apologizing.

“I didn’t say it so you could say it back, ___. I just wanted to finally be honest with myself, and with you. I know it’s crazy because of how things started but I guess…” he huffs, trying to find the right words, “there was always something there and I was too stubborn and jealous and angry to admit it.” You see his chastened look and it hits you again.

You bite your lips and play with your fingers, a tell when you’re nervous, and he picks this up. “What if you’re just guilty? Or you just feel bad?” You ask, hesitantly meeting his eyes. “What if…” You don’t really love me, you’re scared to say.

Jungkook sits up, almost offended at your insinuation but maybe he deserves this too.

“Yeah, I was,” he starts, and your face falls at the confirmation of what you’ve been fearing. “I felt guilty and terrible that night we fought, and even before that. I shouldn’t have acted that way, shouldn’t have made you feel like you weren’t enough. There were so many things I shouldn’t and should have done,” he tells you.

He pulls you up to sit in front of him on the couch and takes your hands on his.

“I hated myself for hurting you, ___. I’d never known heartbreak until I saw you cry that night we fought and I promised myself right then and there that I’ll make sure you never ever feel that way again.” He tilts your chin towards him, his eyes begging you to trust his words.

“That’s why I came looking for you so I could hold you, tell you I’m sorry and that from then on, I’ll be better for you because I want to be able to treat you the way you deserve, even before I knew the truth,” he continues. “But you were gone and when you were away, I felt a big part of me was gone, too. I was so scared I’d lost you before I even got the chance to tell you how I really feel.”

You will yourself not to cry at his words. He’d never been this open to you about his emotions, never been this vulnerable about his fears, never been this honest about his faults.

“Knowing the truth just made me hate myself more, made me angrier, made me more worried about you. It just highlighted the feelings that were already there. That I love you, that I can’t live this life without you.”

You can’t help the tears that fall. Jungkook’s heart breaks at this but he gets to hold you this time, he gets to tell you it’s okay, which is exactly what he does.

“I’d ask for you to please love me back but I want you to —“ his words are muffled by your lips on his, and it’s his continued confession that prompts your greedy movements against him.

He holds your head steady, as he smiles into your needy kisses and he wipes the tears as they fall from your face. You hold onto him tightly, as if telling him this time that you don’t ever want to let him go.

Your hands travel all over his body and you want to touch and feel all of him all at once and savor him, drown in his scent, relish his taste, and fall apart at his touch.

In your dimly lit living room, you two make love. That’s what it is because in the midst of him ravishing you, thrusting in and out of you, gripping your skin that it burns so deliciously, he holds you so close as if he's going to lose you; he interlocks his fingers with yours as if to say he’ll hold your hand through everything; he kisses every inch of you so delicately as if to tell you he’ll soothe all the hurt and all the pain from here on out.

In the midst of the ecstasy and your trance-like states, he whispers the words he wants to say every time he has you like this - I love you, I want you, I need you.

It’s when you’re straddling him and you’re coming down from your third orgasm of the night, with your forehead pressed against his and you’re heaving from the waves of pleasure he selflessly gives you, that you say the words you’ve also been wanting to tell him - “I love you, Jungkook,” in between bated breaths.

“And I’m not just saying this because that was the best orgasm I’ve had and you’ve given me a lot,” you giggle, a sound he echoes.

You steady your breathing and you stare into those onyx eyes that are filled with so much desire and fondness for you. They glimmer like they always have and you don’t miss the mist that lightly coats them. You mirror his emotions and he wraps his arms tighter around you, fingers tracing the curve of your spine, his head falling into the crook of your neck.

“I love you so much, ___. I’m never letting you go,” he says.

You hum in his ear and softly brush your fingers through his hair, soothing him. “I love you, Kook. I’ll always be right here.”

You lay on the couch and cuddle like it’s the first time, fingers still intertwined, lips always touching a part of the other. You stay like this until the sun starts to rise and you marvel at how beautiful it looks from where you are.

It feels quite dramatic watching the sunrise like this, as it feels like it’s a completely new start for you and Jungkook, too.

You came into this arrangement with a different mindset, thinking what you’ll have is a mere companion as you go through the rest of your life. But you didn’t think you could ever feel like this for someone, this overwhelming desire and connection, and that you’d want to be so loved and needed and wanted like this. With Jungkook now, he makes you feel all that and more.

“I heard the sunrise over the water out in Fiji is beautiful, ___,” Jungkook says in between tangled limbs.

“Mhmm,” you hum. You turn to him. With the sun’s rays highlighting his tan skin and enchanting features, you trace his face with your fingers. “I think it’s time for a honeymoon, Kook,” you say, excitement laced in your voice.

He nods and smiles at this and you continue, “so is a fourth round.”

He laughs and crashes his lips on yours, feeling you moan into the kiss once more. With you writhing underneath him and whispering sweet nothings in his ears, Jungkook can’t help but think that of all the things that his parents forced onto him, marrying you is truly the only one he’s thankful for, and he can’t be any happier.

The times you’d not taken his hand when he held it out for you don’t matter anymore. You’re holding each other now and he knows you’ll be doing so for the rest of your happy lives together.

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#jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook flluf #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #bts fic #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook arranged marriage

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1kook · 3 years

Text

viki & hickeys

the 8th installment to netflix & chill :~)

SUMMARY Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air. WARNINGS a little hurt + a lot of comfort, mentions of cheating!villain!jin, insecure!kook, emotional breakdowns, mentions of jk’s lonely past, jk cries :( smut in the forms of making out, eating out, fingering, clit play, hickeys, jk likes cum, double orgasm, squirting, tiny praise kink, blindfolding, rough + unprotected sex, doggy style, choking!!!, breeding/impreg kink, JEALOUS KOOK, mini hand kink, a lil bit of spanking, degradation, he gets progressively meaner lol oc cries MISC there’s a lot of fuckin plot omfg -_-, it’s Valentine’s Eve!, doyeon makes Some Points, mentions of park seojoon juicy ass, they go on a d8 😳, oc like rlly wants to marry him, oc commits double phone homicide RATING m (18+) WC 16.3k !!!! ik its fckin LOOOONG

NOTES (!) in true Viki fashion, here’s an nc fic where there’s like 3 different plot lines n a hot male antagonist <3 this series started off as just me wanting to write smut n it still is! now i just like to infuse different levels of angst into it as well </3 as always, lemme know what u think!! i proofread it twice but one of those times had been at 4 am so if u see a typo no u didn't. also here’s a gif of jungkook crying during a dolly parton performances and here’s another gif of jungkook crying bc it’s scary how pretty he looks

Being evil and hot does not come for free. As you’ve long since learned in the past twenty-three years of your life, you truly can’t have it all.

There is always some deliberating character flaw the universe must bestow upon you in order to level you out, make you fall onto the same plane as all the other mortals. Everyone has one, no matter how small or insignificant. Doyeon’s is that she doesn’t know how to work a straightening iron. Namjoon's is that he can’t tell the difference between water and liquor. Jungkook, despite all his tech-y nerdiness, doesn’t know how to do his own taxes. And yours? You don’t know shit about romcoms.

Your knowledge on the romantic genre is what leads to this predicament now, the ring on your finger heavy as Doyeon regards you with what is perhaps the most unimpressed look known to mankind. “This is a promise ring,” she says bluntly, the bustling sounds of the coffee shop around you the soundtrack to your sudden realization.

“No,” you deny, even though you know she’s right. “It’s an engagement ring.”

Doyeon rolls her eyes. “Babe,” she starts slowly, talks to you like you’re a dorky high schooler with her first boyfriend, “did he ask you to marry him?”

The truth is, the timing had been weird. It had been a few days after you’d rocked Jungkook’s world so you understand if he felt the sudden need to pop the question. But you were also sick as fuck that day, had only vaguely remembered the events because you were too busy with the snot up your nose and the raging fever you were battling. Had Jungkook asked you to marry him?

You’re not so sure.

It’s been a little over a month since then, and sure his lack of proactive wedding planning was a little weird, but you had always assumed Jungkook was one of those people who liked long engagements. Liked to drag out the last few months as a bachelor. Maybe he was waiting until you were both financially stable or something, who knows.

Doyeon had been on some soul-searching journey around the country, so she hadn't been home for a while, had only heard of the ring through a two-second snapchat. This is the first time she’s seeing you and it in person; you can tell by the expression on her face that she’s rightfully disappointed.

“Have you no shame, woman?” she tuts, arms crossed over her chest. “You have me parading around the world bragging about your engagement— just for this?”

You knock your forehead against the table, know it’s dirty and icky, but you deserve it. “Listen,” you huff. “I’ve only seen The Notebook, like, once.”

She scoffs. “I can tell. This is so embarrassing, don’t tell me you’ve brought it up to him?”

At her words you startle, nearly send the drinks flying across the floor. “No!” you shout, mindlessly reaching to twist the ring around your finger. It’s become a habit these past few weeks, a comfort to feel it around you. Granted, the feeling is a little muted now. “Of course he’d get me a promise ring,” you grumble, gaze flickering down to the silver band on your ring finger. “Jungkook loves all that cheesy corny stuff.” He really did.

You’ve had enough of Doyeon’s disappointment, decide this coffee date has brought you enough three am anxiety material for the next year and a half. You conclude your date by taking a walk around town, arms locked together as you laugh at people who pass by because you’re both a little mean.

“Maybe it’s for the best,” she says, and you agree. Well, a promise ring certainly meant something. It was, essentially, a pre-engagement ring. And the engagement ring that followed was a pre-wedding ring. And a wedding ring was, well, a wedding ring. Your heartbeat thunders at the thought. “You’re busy right now anyway,” she points out, snapping you out of your bumbling thoughts. “Aren’t you getting promoted at work soon?”

Oh, you certainly were getting promoted at work. After many grueling months of hard work and dedication, the fruits of your labor were finally being recognized. Gone were the days of useless desk work, intern-like errands that barely required the use of any higher-order brain functions. You had worked hard these past few months, proved your worth over and over again, until you were here. Getting promoted into a new branch at your company— one where your talents were actually needed. And truth be told, there was one man to thank for that.

Your friend and superior, Kim Seokjin.

Seokjin is a great boss. In fact, you could argue he’s the best in the entire world and that, if it wasn’t for him, you would have quit this job that first month you started. But you had him to push you along, friendly smiles and encouragements that kept you going until this point, where you’re being promoted up into a branch where your degree finally matters. And it was all thanks to him! What Kim Namjoon was to Jungkook, Kim Seokjin was to you.

So what if he cheated on his wife and flirted with the secretaries— Seokjin was practically a god in your eyes.

And what Seokjin did in his free time was frankly none of your business anyway. You were colleagues at work, got along fairly well, but outside of work you were practically strangers. He was your beloved work colleague, someone Jungkook teased you about endlessly despite never having met him, and you were immensely thankful for him. “Should I be scared he’ll steal you from me?” Jungkook had joked one night, standing behind you as you scrolled through your company profile page. “He is a little handsome.”

You had pinched his side, smiling at his feigned concern when he pressed his lips to your temple. “You’re right,” you had joked back, “he is sooo cool.” And Jungkook had bitten you on the shoulder, laughed that pretty laugh when you yelped in surprise.

Anyway, Kim Seokjin was a god, Jungkook was on his way to maybe, hopefully, one day, being your husband, and all was well.

To honor this moment in time, you decide to swing by Jungkook’s place after your date with Doyeon, finding him lazily sprawled across his living room couch while What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim? plays on the Jumbotron. He’s in between projects right now, so he’s spent most of his time relaxing and catching up on all his favorite shows.

Which brings you back to that deliberating character flaw of yours: no knowledge of the romantic genre to utilize in your everyday life. Your love language has always been blunt words, teasing jabs, the raw and unfiltered type of love. Emotions? Impossible to figure out. You’ve gotten pretty far in life reading verbal and physical cues; with Jungkook, you always know he’s upset when he does the little tongue-against-cheek thing, and it has saved you from many potential arguments.

On the other hand, it is so obvious what Jungkook’s love language is when he spends fifty percent of his time on Viki, home to some of the most cheesy kdramas in existence. Most guys spend their weekends watching sports or dramatic action movies, but here was Jungkook. Watching some guy try to court his secretary.

(Okay, he does watch sports and action movies too, but that’s not the point!)

“Hello, sweet boy,” you greet, plopping down beside him. Jungkook smiles back softly. He’s serving absolute pre-pre-husband deliciousness right now, cute glasses, fluffy curls, plaid bottoms that make him look so comfy. God, you were going to suck his dick tonight.

Jungkook slots his mouth against yours, tastes like the chocolate cake you specifically told him not to eat without you. He blindsides you before you can scold him, pulls you onto his lap where the swell of his cock nudges against your thigh. Oh, you were definitely going to suck his dick and ride him well into the sunrise.

“What’s my pretty girl doing here tonight?” he asks, cutely looping his fingers through yours. “Thought you were with the Wicked Witch of the West today?”

You roll your eyes, reposition yourself in a laughable attempt at pretending like you’re actually interested in the show. “We just went out for lunch,” you explain, watching the hot lead saunter across the screen. Juicy ass, but nothing compared to Jungkook’s.

There’s a question lingering on the tip of your tongue, Doyeon’s explanations mixed with your worries, and you hold it for exactly ten seconds before you’re turning to face him head on, eyes going a little crossed from how close he is. “Hey,” you say bluntly. “Is this a promise ring?” you ask, wiggle your finger in his face.

Jungkook blinks, once, twice, and then his face shoots up in flames. “Maybe,” he mumbles, lips pursed as he tries to avoid your gaze. He was adorable. You laugh, endeared by the red flush that crawls over his cute little cheeks and up his ears. Unable to stop yourself, you squeeze said cheeks between your hands, cooing at the annoyed expression that consumes him soon afterwards.

“Aw, you want to marry me,” you tease, but it’s secretly a leading question for him to confess that yes, he does want to marry you. For as hot and confident as you are, you too are plagued with doubts. Doubts that can only be smoothed over by hearing it straight from Jungkook’s mouth.

He rolls his eyes, trying to break free from your hold. “We’ve talked about this,” he murmurs, all embarrassed. But like always, Jungkook knows exactly what you want so he doesn’t deny it, and that’s good enough for you. He’s too flustered to look you in the eye now, childishly craning his head away from you when you try to force him into a staring contest. “Can I finish my show?” he whines, slightly not as hard now that you’ve reduced him into a shy, bumbling mess. It was a nice change of pace from his usual, composed self.

But you relent, sliding off his lap to sit against his side, classic octopus hug around his waist. The episode is in full swing, not that you know anything about it. Like you said, romantic shows and movies were the least of your concerns. Jungkook, however, eats this type of shit up. “He still trying to fuck her?” you ask, not the least bit interested, but if you’re planning on sucking his dick tonight you have to listen to a few minutes of him rambling first.

Jungkook sighs. “Yeah,” he says, “I don’t get it.” You hum, trail your hand over his abdomen teasingly. He feels so warm and lean beneath your palm, you were getting hot just thinking about it. “Why would anyone agree to dating their boss?”

You know that Jungkook’s boss is some old Facebook fart, pioneer of something on the site that neither of you two care about. So it makes sense that such a notion disturbs him. You shrug anyway. “Everyone wants to sleep with their hot boss,” you offer. “It’s like, the power dynamic, I guess.”

His frown deepens. “Would you?” Your boss isn’t exactly an old fart; the reason Kim Seokjin was such a renowned playboy is because, well, he had the looks to pull it off. Still, he had become a sort of respectable figure to you and the idea of sleeping with him doesn’t really sound appealing as much as it would to any other random bachelorette, which you admittedly were not. You glance at the screen, where Park Seojoon swaggers around in those tight slacks and fitted button-ups.

“Hm,” you ponder, “maybe.”

Jungkook laughs. “You’re supposed to say no, you idiot,” he says, knocks his forehead against yours softly. You can’t help but chuckle too, enamored with the happy glint in his eyes and the way his smile eats up his features.

Oh, you loved this man.

Because he was so sweet and good on Christmas, you let Jungkook make the plans for Valentine’s Day. After all, it’s his favorite holiday (“Why? Well, because it’s a day all about you, and me, and us,” he had sighed dreamily in the bathtub one night, hair adorably pushed back to showcase that handsome face of his. Bubbles clung to his chest, had made you dizzy with every breath he took.), so it’s only right that he gets to make the itinerary for the day, fill it with all his favorite things. After all, cheesy romantic stuff like this was right up his lane.

He reserves a spot at the fanciest restaurant in the city, the one that has a months long waiting list. It sounds perfect, and the closer it gets to February 13th, the more excited you become. You say 13th because the 14th is a Sunday, and as much as you would love to get on your knees and praise Jungkook’s body until the wee hours of the next day, you have work. So Sunday is off the table. And it’s better this way, you tell yourself. Everywhere would have been packed that day anyway.

It seems like everywhere you go, the entire world is gearing up for the holiday; from the fast food drive-thru to your favorite lingerie shop, there’s Valentine’s Day specials everywhere you look. Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air.

But what good is a lovey-dovey holiday without your own lovey dove himself?

One glance out your window and your knees feel weak, because there he is. Dressed in a loose satin button up, shoulders broad, chest defined. He’s got on these fitted dress pants that accentuate his tiny waist too, thick thighs bulging beneath the fabric. There’s a coat hugging his frame, something to shield him from the cold while he waits out on the curb, does this cute little shivering dance in an attempt to warm up his muscles. Your heart feels like it’ll explode at the sight, and you can practically hear the corny, overused romantic song playing in the background of your thoughts, so you hurriedly distract yourself by slipping tonight’s dress on.

It’s cold outside, but the sight of Jungkook makes you feel warm and fuzzy everywhere. He’s so hot it makes you dizzy, and the sap knows it when he meets you on the sidewalk. Instinctively, his hand reaches out to tangle with yours, the other slipping around your waist. “Hi, gorgeous,” he greets playfully, kissing your knuckles. His hair has grown out a little, curls up cutely when he lets it air dry and tickles your skin when he gets too close. “Lookin’ like Secretary Kim.”

“Oh? So does that make you my hot boss?” you tease as you make your way to the car.

As always, he opens the door for you first, flashes you this dorky little wink as he rounds the front of the car. “If it means you’ll sleep with me tonight, then sure,” he says, buckling himself in. You roll your eyes at his claim. You don’t get to see the proud little smile on his face; by the time you’ve composed yourself, he’s already pulling off in the direction of the restaurant.

It’s a classy thing, a restaurant and bar in some insanely tall skyscraper. Of course your seats are right beside one of the huge floor to ceiling windows, overlooking the beautiful, glittering cityscape. “Fancy,” you murmur as you sit down, catching a glimpse of the eye roll Jungkook gives you.

“You say that about any place that serves wine,” he chuckles, reaching for the bottle on the table to pour you a glass.

The wine tastes like perfection, aged for the perfect amount of time. Whatever that was. You don’t really know, but it tastes amazing! Still, amazement aside, you manage a scoff. “I didn’t say that about your house on our first date,” you huff anyway, throwing him a playful glare over the rim of your glass.

Jungkook laughs, full and real this time. It’s a little too loud for the classy establishment you find yourselves in, drowns out the jazz music for a second. “That’s because it was a house,” he says, wearing that big, shiny smile you adore, “and we were watching Transformers.” An amazing date, the mere memory of it makes your toes curl. He had been so dreamy— nearly two years ago now! —and had retained that aura up to the present day. You don’t think you’ve ever been so in love with anyone or anything in this world before, as cheesy as it was to admit.

As if sensing your sudden wandering thoughts, Jungkook nudges your ankle under the table. “Hey,” he says so softly you could melt; his voice was so silky and sweet. “Everything okay?” he asks.

A sigh, chin in your palm. You had to have been abducted by aliens or something— there was no way this was your life, this disgustingly romantic date with this disgustingly handsome man. An episode of Black Mirror maybe? One where you get forced to live in a romantic Viki drama with the man you love, every single day for the rest of your life? Maybe.

Dramatics aside, you could practically feel that sticky sweet, sentimental monster begging to crawl to the surface, unleash the entire Shakespearean collection of lovesick sonnets on your unsuspecting boyfriend in the middle of this restaurant. But the weird ones, were you accidentally dedicate an entire six lines to the bulge of Jungkook’s thighs in his workout pants or the heart-shaped mole on his shoulder. Those kind. Before that can happen, you settle on an equally as gentle, “I love you,” murmured for only him to hear.

Across the table, Jungkook smiles. One of those thin ones when he’s trying to keep his composure but is actually quite flustered, his subtle bunny teeth nibbling at his lower lip. “Thanks,” he responds, still trying to play it cool, but then he almost knocks his glass down and you’re reminded just how perfect he was, flaws and all. “Me too.”

You jab the pointed tip of your stiletto against his shin. “Say it back,” you warn and he laughs.

“I love you,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Straight out of a romantic drama, like the ones on Viki that require a minimum of four different story arcs just to get to this point. But with Jungkook, it takes a few shy smiles and maybe a kiss. It has a scorching heat rising on your cheeks, one you ward away with a hurried sip of your drink while Jungkook reaches for your hand, thumb rubbing over your promise ring as if for good luck.

That singular phrase makes your world pause, its axis stalling while you deal with the overwhelmingly soft and gooey feelings in your chest. Oh jeez, you had to rock his world tonight. It was only right. He deserved it for making you feel like this— this silly and ditzy, like a middle schooler with her crush.

Anyway the food gets to your table after a millennia. Jungkook orders some fancy lobster dish, one that you're pretty sure costs more than the purse you brought along tonight (to be fair, you’re a cheap buyer), and still has the audacity to poke around at your plate too. He eats enough to feed a schoolhouse full of children who’ve just come off recess, practically devouring the table cloth before you stop him. And then he doesn’t let you see the bill; “baby, don’t worry about that when you’re with me,” he purrs, warm breath fanning against the skin on your neck, drunk off pure love and strawberry lemonade because he was driving tonight. The hostess is a blushing mess, fumbling for his change as Jungkook practically gropes your ass in plain sight.

You swear he’s spending too much time on that Viki streaming service, because then, as if the romantic dinner date wasn’t enough, he whisks you off to an even more romantic walk along the river.

If there was ever a world record for “Number of Times you can Make your Girlfriend Swoon,” you’re positive Jungkook had broken it in the span of a few hours. You feel so light-headed and in love by the time you reach the river.

“You know,” you tell him as you walk, the serene sounds of the flowing water beside you the soundtrack to your date. Jungkook swings your joined hands between the two of you. It’s chilly but you’re so full and happy that you don’t let it bother you. “I was gonna throw wine at you when we first met.”

He cackles, that loud, airy sound again that he only lets you hear, with his head thrown back. “What?” he gasps, smiley and pretty, your pretty boy. “And why were you going to do that?”

You huff, feeling slightly embarrassed now to admit such a thing. But aside from Doyeon, no one else has ever heard this classified tale. And well, you’re feeling extra emotional tonight. An abundance of emotions in one night usually ended with you crying like a little bitch at some point or another, so you’re trying to push that off for later. “Because,” you sigh, squeezing his fingers, your lone promise ring versus his assortment of fashionable rings. “You sounded like an absolute fuck boy when you first texted me!”

Jungkook scoffs, playfully scandalized. “Me?” he squawks, pausing to stand in front of you with wide eyes and a ridiculously huge smile, the kind that has his brows raised high, lips going thin, practically displaying every tooth in his mouth from how wide it is.

“Jungkook,” you say calmly, shoving one finger against his chest. “You asked me to Netflix & chill for our first date.”

He groans, using your entwined hands to pull you into his arms for a suffocating hug. “I already told you,” he laughs, patting the back of your head while you get in a few lighthearted punches against his sides. “I didn’t know what it meant.”

“Whatever, you sleaze,” you say anyway, eventually melting into his hands. “Bet you tell all the girls that.” Jungkook makes another scandalized noise, but settles when you wrap your hands around him. He smells so good and familiar, comforting even. Like home and safety, a refuge for your heart. When you’re this close, you can hear the light beating of it beneath your ear, a steady rhythm that has you closing your eyes when he begins humming your favorite song.

He gets about two verses in when your phone suddenly goes off.

Everything in your body says to ignore it, to continue basking in the comfort of your boyfriend’s embrace and this absolutely perfect moment. But it’s the stupid ringtone you set for all your work peers when you first loaded the entire company contact list onto your phone, so the sound alone lets you know it’s a work-related call. And for work to be calling you on a weekend was definitely not a good sign.

“Give me a sec,” you tell Jungkook, pulling away from his arms. He frowns but lets you go, staying close as you dig through your purse for the offending device.

It’s Kim Seokjin calling at this peculiar hour, a fact that confuses the hell out of you. Jungkook’s bouncing on his heels in an attempt to fight off the chill, giving you his beautiful side profile as he glances down the winding sidewalk that follows the river, and then at his watch. His nose is a cute red color that you want to kiss so bad. But work calls, so you tighten up and let that dream go for now. You swipe your thumb across the screen.

“Hello, Mr. Kim,” you greet, trying to keep the confusion out of your voice. “How can I help—“

“__, my love,” he beams through the phone, so fucking loud it has Jungkook glancing over curiously. You give him a tight-lipped smile, one he returns as he shuffles closer, trying to steal your warmth like a penguin. You let him snuggle close before turning back to the droning voice of your superior on the line.

“Hello,” you repeat again, slowly. Jungkook takes your free hand in his; when he squeezes, the band of your promise ring digs into your skin just the slightest. “Was something the matter?”

Seokjin laughs, loud and clear. There’s a lot of other noises filtering in through his line. Briefly, you remember that there had been some work-related party for the higher ups tonight so you write it off as that. “Does there need to be a problem for me to call you, love?”

You falter. Beside you, Jungkook’s brows furrow together, his devilishly handsome features even more pronounced. He’s obviously heard the other man on the line. “Um,” you flounder for a second, “well, usually yes.”

Without missing a beat, Seokjin carries on with a playful tut that you’re almost certain has him lifting the receiver up to his mouth, because it’s so goddamn loud it has you flinching away from your own device. “My __,” he says, sweet and… slurred?

He’s never used this tone of voice on you, only on other women at the office. Something about his broken marriage and needing to heal a wound, you don’t fucking know. You can’t even begin to truly understand that logic, which is why you’ve always just ignored it. Still, in the last few months of knowing Seokjin, he has never made a pass at you. Until now, that is. And until now, you had kind of convinced yourself he saw you in a sisterly way. Which sure, was worse than being friendzoned. But this was your boss you were talking about. Whether you got sister-zoned or not by him was the least of your concerns. So what was going on? What had changed over the span of a few days that had him suddenly reaching out to you on a weekend?

Beside you, Jungkook doesn’t look the slightest bit impressed, tongue prodding against his cheek as Seokjin rambles on the line. You wish you had lowered the volume before answering, but doing so now would appear suspicious, even you could admit that. “You’re amazing, you know that?” Seokjin praises. You nod, remember he can’t see you, and settle on a blunt thanks instead. Jin laughs. “You’re different from the rest,” he hums, voice soft and weirdly intimate.

Jungkook’s frown deepens. “What does he want?” he murmurs, somehow managing to keep his voice calm as always. The deep furrow of his brows and the tongue-against-cheek motion he had done just a few seconds ago all indicate he’s annoyed, that much you can tell.

You shrug, eyes wide as you hurry to get to the reason for the phone call. You’re almost certain it’s just Seokjin being drunk— many people drunkenly dial their friends and family to tell them how much they’re appreciated, this wasn’t anything weird!

Is what you try to convince yourself, but then Seokjin’s voice is dropping an octave by your ear. “Did you get my gift?” he murmurs, voice nearly drowned out by the sounds of the event he’s at.

“Huh?” you stammer, quite stupidly if you do say so yourself. Jungkook shifts closer, obviously trying to hear. A breeze ruffles his hair, his cologne wafting over you. “What?”

A sigh over the line. “My gift, love,” Kim Seokjin says, loud and proud. Jungkook exhales, hard. “I had it sent to your house this evening. Something pretty for a pretty girl— don’t tell me the postman fucked that up,” he jokes and Jungkook huffs, practically breathing fire through his nose when he hears the words.

You fidget. There had been no gift when Jungkook picked you up around sunset, not like you had expected anything to begin with. And aside from Jungkook and maybe your parents, there was no one else on this planet you wanted to receive a Valentine’s Day gift from anyway, especially not from your boss of all people. “Um,” you mumble, acutely aware of the way Jungkook’s face is nearly pressed to yours now in his effort to listen in on your phone call. “I— um, haven’t been home, Seokjin.”

Jungkook scoffs, spits out a particularly unimpressed, “Seokjin?”

Said man doesn’t hear. “Oh, of course,” he says, almost sullenly. “I forgot you had that little boyfriend to entertain tonight.”

It’s the breaking point for Jungkook, who leans back to glare at the phone with the heat of a thousand suns. You press it against your chest before he can hear anything else. “I’m sorry,” you rush out in a hurried whisper, eyes flickering over his face, trying to gauge the intensity of his emotions. “I think he’s drunk— he’s never said things to me like this before,” you stammer, feeling like you have to defend yourself for some reason. “I’ll- I’ll take care of it, okay?” No answer, just an aggravated shake of his head, like he’s trying to calm himself down. “Jungkook?” you say, can feel the panic begin to lace your voice when his eyes flutter shut.

He calms your worries with a gentle head butt that has you gasping in surprise, one hard exhale fanning over you. “Okay,” he says, teeth clenched. “I’m gonna go sit.” And then he stiffly walks over to one of the many benches lining the pathway. He sits, just like he had said he would, and glares down at his hands instead.

The sight makes you anxious, unsure of how to diffuse the situation because, like you’ve said many times before, dealing with emotions— especially someone else’s emotions —was hard. Your eyes refuse to leave his figure as you draw the phone back up to your ear again. “Hello?” you call, voice trembling when Jungkook finally looks your way. The soft look he had given you all night is nowhere to be found, replaced with this rather unreadable expression. Something between annoyance and confusion if you had to guess. You don’t know, and the fact you don’t know makes you panic. Your chest feels tight when Seokjin begins speaking again.

“You know,” he says, “you’re quite something, __. Strong, confident. Beautiful.” Had you been anyone else, you might have been flattered by Kim Seokjin’s remarks, maybe would have swooned. He was, objectively speaking, a handsome man with a hefty bank account.

But if that was the criteria for a man to make you swoon, then the man on the bench in front of you checked all the same boxes three times over. The man who’s brows draw closer and closer together the longer you linger on the phone. Jungkook’s foot does one agonizing tap against the concrete and you find yourself stammering into the phone. “I think you’re drunk, Jin.”

A scoff. “I am,” he agrees, and doesn't even bother to hide it. “But you remind me of her, you know that? I like that.”

It’s like he knows something is going on on the line, because Jungkook visibly bristles when you sidestep in surprise. What was going on, your brain screams. Having your superior compare you to his infidel wife was definitely not something you saw coming tonight. “Uh, okay?” you say, “listen, Seokjin— Mr. Kim, I’m... I have a boyfriend. And I really lov—“

He cuts you off. Jungkook bristles at the sudden stop of your sentence. “Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin drawls, and you can feel the sheer terror of accidentally jeopardizing your relationship with Jungkook step aside for the briefest moment to allow some annoyance to seep through. Annoyed with Seokjin and his audacity, his tone, his voice. “Mrs. Kim used to say that about me,” he chuckles humorlessly, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” A long pause. You’re unsure of how to respond. “It’s not real,” Seokjin says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world. “Love, that is.”

You clench your jaw, gathering your thoughts to respond when Seokjin beats you to it. “But you know what, love?” You don’t respond. Seokjin pushes on anyway. “Someone’s gonna cheat sooner or later— why not beat him to it?”

Your body reacts first, a startled gasp inhaled through your lips at his disrespectful preposition. Your phone slips out of your grasp. It bounces twice, lands on the ledge that gives way to the river, and you almost kick it in when Jungkook comes up behind you. “Hey, hey,” he says sternly, tugging you away from the phone you almost killed. “What’s wrong— what did he say?”

You exhale, face warm from the discomfort sitting heavy in your chest. “Nothing,” you huff, mind slightly foggy as you try to process that awkward conversation. “It’s— it was stupid,” you spit, pressing the heels of your palms against your temples, the raging anger and confusion making your head pound now.

You had always known Kim Seokjin wasn’t the most faithful man, that the infidelity ran both ways in his relationship. But you had never imagined he would ever compare you to her, his cheating wife, in an attempt to win you over. Furthermore, you’re downright disturbed by the fact he would even try to hit on you after all the mentoring he’d given you, all the polite smiles he’d flashed you, all the praise you had bestowed upon him to Jungkook.

Jungkook, whose jaw twitches as his hands graze your forearms. When you look at him again, you feel an immense wave of remorse wash over you at the way his own irritation is clouded by his worry for you. He had been wronged as well— disrespected just like you —but here he was, pushing his own emotions aside for your sake. He doesn’t want to see you upset. He was so good at dealing with your emotions, knew just what to do when things became too much.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, lips pursed together. “I don’t know why— he’s never— I wouldn’t do that,” you settle on, voice wobbling when Jungkook’s jaw clenches. “Jungkook,” you frown, reaching for his hands, “I wouldn’t—“

He shushes you with another one of those gentle forehead bumps. “Calm down,” he says, voice deeper than usual. “I know you wouldn’t.”

Weirdly, it feels like you’ve committed a grave sin against your boyfriend. A crime. “I’m sorry,” you blubber anyway, heart thundering in your chest. “That was horrible,” you huff, desperately blinking away the stinging sensation behind your eyes. “You didn’t deserve to hear that.”

“Don’t cry,” Jungkook says, so soft and comforting; stable. You want his composure, his ability to process and understand things so quickly— his maturity. Sure he had been put off by Seokjin, but he had processed it all so quickly; adapted to the situation and stepped in to save you. Meanwhile, you nearly committed cellular murder because you couldn’t handle yourself. “He’s a weirdo,” he says, for both your sakes. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart.”

Still, you sniffle. “I’m sorry,” you say again, the heavy feeling in your chest lightening just a little bit when he pulls you into his arms.

“Crybaby,” he teases softly, a kiss on the crown of your head. You pinch his side. “Second phone you broke in a year.”

The mood for the riverwalk is off after that, and you only walk a few more meters before Jungkook decides it’s enough. “We can still enjoy ourselves at home,” he reassures you, and the way he tries to salvage that soft, fuzzy feeling from before is admirable. So Jungkook takes you home, holds your hand the whole drive back to your place, like he knows you’re still fragile from that extremely uncomfortable interaction, need him to hold you together. Jungkook’s emotional stability guards you like a shield, covers you in a wave of comfort as you calm down. You tell him about Seokjin’s preposition and he bristles. “Prick,” he murmurs beneath his breath, grip tightening just the tiniest bit. Your ring pinches against your skin a little painfully, but you say nothing.

There’s a box of flowers on your doorstep when you arrive, one that makes Jungkook pause at the sight. “Wonderful,” he drones, picking it up for you as you unlock the front door. It gets left on the coffee table, practically mocking the two of you as you remove your shoes and coats. “That’s your favorite flower,” Jungkook notes.

You glance at the expensive bouquet. “It is.”

Jungkook drops down onto your couch, eyes flickering to the meticulous arrangement in front of him. “You told him?” Not really. But back when you had thought Jungkook and you were engaged (read: last week), you had spent days looking at different floral shops that specialized in this flower, frequently leaving the tab open on your work computer. Seokjin must have seen it then. At your extended silence, Jungkook says, “nice.”

You frown, setting your heels on the shoe rack. “Baby, I didn’t,” you tell him softly, reaching for the zip on the back of your dress. It comes down, and after clearing your hips, it falls to the floor in a dark heap you pick up quickly. It leaves you scantily clad in a black lingerie set. Meanwhile, Jungkook drops his head back, glaring at your ceiling. Tentatively, you step over to him, toying with the fabric of your dress in your hands. “You said it was okay.”

“I know,” he sighs, an unexpected confession from him that makes you pause. Despite all you’ve been through, he still rarely highlighted situations that upset him. “It’s just,” he says, turning his head to look at your form again, eyes not drinking you in like you hoped he would. “It’s scary.”

The couch cushion dips beneath your weight when you settle beside him. “What is?”

Jungkook shrugs, avoiding your question by reaching for the TV remote on the coffee table, right beside the box of flowers Seokjin had sent. He opens up the Viki app in a flash— the one linked to his account —and has even loaded up the next episode of Secretary Kim when you question him again. “What’s scary, Jungkook?” you repeat.

On screen, there’s a beautiful scene on a bridge, the two leads happily conversing. It’s serene, something neither you nor Jungkook feel at the moment.

Eventually, he says, “you could leave.”

You pause. “What do you mean?” Leave? Where on earth would you leave to when this was your home? He doesn’t meet your gaze.

Another scene passes by on screen, some cheesy line and an even cheesier promise. Jungkook’s foot taps against the floor, the sound dull against the plush rug beneath you. It’s a nervous tick you’ve only seen him do at the height of truly stressful situations. Weird because just half an hour before you had dubbed him as the epitome of calm and collected at the river.

“I thought he was cool before.”

He did. But the word ‘cool’ didn’t always have the same meaning for Jungkook as it did for you.

In the past, Jungkook had frequently joked about having to meet Kim Seokjin and thank him for all the help he’s given you at work. After all, up until now, you had only ever had good things to say about the man, raving about his cool demeanor and respectable work ethics. Now, the memories paired with the conversation from earlier leave a bad taste in your mouth.

You’re a little confused with Jungkook right now; part of you had convinced yourself that whatever happened on the phone earlier with Seokjin was put behind you, marked off as an anomaly in the evening. After all, Jungkook himself had said it was okay. Park Seojoon appears on screen, and you can’t help but glare at the character, residue emotions from the river pushed off onto this innocent actor.

Still, Jungkook surprises you. “It’s just that—“ he sighs. And then, “what if you leave?”

You blink, eyes trained on his side profile and the way he’s nervously chewing through his bottom lip until it tints a red shade, gives way to sensitive skin when he bites too hard. “Why would I leave?”

He says nothing. On screen, Park Seojoon says something so cheesy and romantic that it would have otherwise made you cringe, made Jungkook soft. But he’s stiff as a board beside you instead. You almost think he’s going to disregard the entire conversation when he finally speaks again. “Well.” You perk up at the sound of his voice, overly aware of the way he’s started picking at the skin around his thumb again, another nasty habit you’ve been trying to help him get over. “He’s cool. Rich.”

“And so are you,” you offer, covering his hand with your own.

Jungkook ignores you, releasing a long, shaky exhale. Somehow, he’s exuding a similar energy as before; discontentment mixed with understanding. Like he’s greatly conflicted but forcing himself to remain calm. Another trembling inhale, and then Jungkook quietly recites, “everyone wants to sleep with their hot boss.”

You recoil just the slightest, brows pinched together at the absurd conclusion he’s drawn. “Baby, that was just a silly conversation,” you say slowly, slipping your hand into his. He squeezes so tight you’re afraid he’ll break your bones. “And we were joking—“

“I know!” he exclaims, enveloping your significantly smaller hand in both of his before bringing them up to his face, lips pressed against your knuckles. It’s not a kiss, more so a desperate need to feel you against him. Eyes wide, you can’t do anything but watch as that collected exterior slips away, revealing a whirlwind mess of emotions. It’s a rather unexpected show from Jungkook. “It was a joke. We were joking. But I’m—“ his jaw clenches. His voice is so tiny when he speaks again. “I get scared sometimes, __.”

His emotional outburst renders you speechless, watching as he squeezes his eyes shut, jaw clenching, hands trembling.

It’s a stark image change from the cool Jungkook that had comforted you at the river, had patted the back of your head when you had been so distraught. His chest heaves for air and you don’t know what to do; it’s always the other way around, him comforting you, that when it comes down to this you find yourself at a loss. It makes you feel like you don’t know enough about yourself or him or your relationship in general to help him, always so lost when things like this happen.

Jungkook has never been good at expressing negative emotions, always preferring to bottle them up and only show you his very best side. Granted, he’s been getting better at letting go lately, has whispered his doubts to you in the dead of night after a particularly grueling project, an uncomfortable social meeting. But he always waits until you’re half asleep and in the dark to tell you how he feels, hushed worries that you barely remember the next morning. And by then, Jungkook’s moved on from them anyway, flashes you a pretty smile and purposefully guides you away from that conversation. You know he’s started keeping a journal recently, but aside from seeing the blanks pages when he’d first gotten, you don’t have a clue what happened afterwards. It’s probably hidden away somewhere, his feelings locked up in a cupboard or a box, the secrets it holds never to be spoken of aloud.

He doesn’t like talking about his more personal problems, hoards them until you’re forced to intervene. Find him slumped over at his dining table with bags under his eyes, the skin on his lower lip bitten beyond belief.

Rarely does he sit down and express himself like this, lays his heart out carefully for you to see. Had he not said so right now, you would have never known Jungkook struggled with such doubts about you and your relationship.

(It makes your heart ache at the realization.)

Jungkook always acts like everything is okay, always forces himself to hold it together for the sake of you and, quite frankly, everyone else. He’s there when Taehyung breaks up with his girlfriends, pats him on the back and lets him run through every video game he has on his PS5. He’s there for Namjoon when his thesis becomes too much, proofreads it even though he doesn’t understand a word just for the sake of giving his best friend another perspective. Hell, he had even been there for Doyeon when her new landlord had tried to overcharge her, had carried the bulk of your argument when you ran off to try and fight with the old man.

(“He’s too nice sometimes,” she had murmured the next morning at her place. After the shouting match the night before, you had crashed with Doyeon on her new bed, your sweet boyfriend taking up her couch. Somehow, you and Jungkook had managed to knock a clean seventy-five bucks off her monthly bill. It wasn’t much, but for an apartment in the city it sure felt like a lot.

You had hummed, patting the top of his head on the way to the kitchen. “He’s a good boy,” you had said, heart thrumming when he instinctively pushed closer to your hand, nuzzling into you even in his sleep. “He cares about everyone a lot. Worries to death about his friends.”

The state of their relationship was weird; they were always fighting about one thing or another, ‘eternal enemies’ as Doyeon liked to claim.

But for the first time, she hadn’t denied they were, in fact, friends. Instead, she had quietly stood at the breakfast nook overlooking the living room with a somber look on her face that was completely unlike the Doyeon you knew. She didn’t respond with her usual backhanded compliments, didn’t even call him a gremlin either.

“He even worries about you, Miss Wicked Witch of the West,” you had teased, reaching over to pull Jungkook’s shirt down where it had ridden up, exposing his cute belly button to the cold apartment. She had sipped at her mug of coffee, eyes foggy and distant. “It just takes him a while.”

“He’s always cared about you though,” she had murmured then, and you had marked it off as her being half asleep. But Doyeon had given you this look, a look so profoundly wise, as if she was saying, “more than you’ll ever know.”)

Most importantly, Jungkook is always there for you. He holds you in his arms, strokes your back comfortingly whenever something goes wrong. Listens to your concerns and offers you advice, learns new things for the sole purpose of helping you out. Lets you make stupid decisions and always saves you at the last minute. And you want to repay him for all that, want to look after Jungkook like he does for everyone else. But it’s hard, it’s so fucking hard, when he doesn’t let you in, when he holds his emotions at bay for the sake of protecting yours. When you don’t even know where to start sometimes.

The beating of your heart is accompanied by a dramatic orchestral ensemble on screen, violins and flutes as the two lovers reconcile some issue with a kiss. Beside you, your own lover is one second away from falling apart. “Hey,” you say quietly, slipping your hand out of his to hesitantly place on his back instead. With your release, Jungkook uses his empty hands to drag over his face, hide himself from you. “I’m not going to leave you, Jungkook,” you try and comfort, “I love you.”

He shakes his head, dark locks bouncing around. “I know, I know,” he sighs, but it doesn’t sound like he believes you. It sounds like he’s forcing himself into composure again, jaw flexing as he shakes his head. “But— what if—” another aggravated huff, his thighs jumping anxiously. “You’ll get bored.” Not a question, but a statement.

“Of you?�� you ask anyway. He nods. “I won’t.”

He sits up so suddenly you have to move away to avoid bumping into him. “You will,” he urges, finally looking at you, distress painted over every inch of his face. “That guy, that Seokjin, he sounds more interesting than me. He sounds cool and put together, like the world is his oyster and,” he rubs the heels of his hands against his eyes. “You talk about him sometimes and... and you call him a god, __,” he stresses, doesn’t leave room for you to object. “And I know you’re joking, but—“ a sharp inhale, and then, quietly, “everyone gets bored of me, __.”

Your frown deepens. “But I won’t,” you argue, confident in your claim, shifting onto your knees beside him. Your dress is thrown over the armrest of the couch, and the draft in your apartment makes goosebumps rise on your bare flesh. “You’re not boring, Jungkook,” you tell him, voice softening when his features pinch up, nose wrinkling as he wards off the stinging behind his eyes.

It’s teenage trauma. Jungkook had told you at least that much before, this crippling sense of loneliness and an inferiority complex that hindered him during an influential growth period of his life. It’s why he’s so quiet when he has so much to say, why he brings you along to every party he gets invited to; he’s never felt like he was enough by himself.

Sometimes, it leaks into his confessions. “I don’t deserve you,” he says frequently, but some days you want to hot glue him to a chair and force him to listen to every reason why he does and always will deserve you or anyone for that matter. “You make me better,” he claims, but he does that all on his own, lights up the world with his smile alone.

He’s gotten better, that much you’ve learned from Namjoon and Taehyung. And even you’ve noticed it on your own, watched as he animatedly talked with his friends and his coworkers, drew people naturally to him with his warm aura.

Even still, there’s moments where he relapses. Moments like this.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs beside you, “I know I’m a handful—“

“You’re not,” you interrupt, cupping his soft cheek in your hand, turning him to face you. Jungkook leans into the touch, and your heart breaks in half when a tear escapes over his waterline, pretty eyes brimming with tears. “You’re not a handful, Jungkook,” you tell him, shuffling closer until you can press your forehead against his. The truth is, you don’t know how to comfort him, but this is how he’s always comforted you; it feels nice when he does it for you. “You’re just enough,” you say, voice soft because it feels like your precious boy is about to fall apart in your arms, his shallow breaths rivaling the volume of the television. “You’ve always been enough.”

He sniffles, and another tear tickles the side of your thumb, catching the light. “I’m sorry,” he repeats anyway, a disbelieving chuckle tacked on at the end.

“Don’t be,” you shush, pushing away a strand of hair when he leans closer. His frown is still prominent, pink lips red and soft under your thumb when you tap your finger against them. “You can tell me when things worry you, you know,” you inform him, heart swelling when his eyes fall shut and he leans into your touch. He’s so handsome, the cute little mole beneath his lip begging to be kissed. “I’ll always listen.”

Jungkook hums, breathing evening out. “I know you will,” he says. “But I like listening to your voice more, and I can’t do that when I’m talking.”

You snort and Jungkook finally lets a tiny smile slip. “Don’t flirt with me so soon after your meltdown,” you mumble, kissing his cheek softly.

Jungkook chuckles, real this time, and sniffles right afterwards. “I’ll flirt with you whenever I want.” And, because he’s just so full of surprises tonight, he sniffles once more before he’s unceremoniously tackling you back onto the couch. You squeal, the TV remote digging into your back painfully. It has the volume accidentally skyrocketing, startling the both of you with an ear-shattering orchestral piece at the height of some emotional scene. Jungkook scrambles to free the device and lower the volume before your eardrums burst. “I didn’t even know your TV could go that loud,” he says, and he’s speaking normally but the deafening violins are still reverberating in your head, making him sound quieter than he really is.

“Come here,” you say instead, and he obeys, crawling into your arms, mouth hovering just over yours. “You feeling better?”

Jungkook nods, dark hair bouncing. “You make me better,” he tries, but after tonight’s realization, you respond to his corny words with a pinch against his doughy cheek instead.

“Don’t say that,” you frown, toying with one of the earrings decorating his ear. The tip of his nose is flushed red, the exertion from crying catching up to him. His lashes are dark, probably feel so heavy with the residual tears that cling to them.

Jungkook repositions himself, guides your legs around his waist. “Why not? It’s true.” He glances at your mouth. “You make my life better.”

“Wrong,” you say bluntly, brushing his hair back with your hands. “Your own perception and understanding of your experiences makes your life better. I just happen to be in it.” Jungkook looks the tiniest bit surprised at your suddenly logical argument. “Trust me, I saw it in a documentary the other day.”

At that he laughs, full and loud, pecking your lips once with a sweet smile on his face. “Now I know you’re lying,” he grins, gently nudging his nose against yours. The drama on the TV is but a quiet hum compared to the pounding of your heart in your chest when he looks at you like that. “Because you don’t even like documentaries.”

You kiss him softly, holding his hair back for him. He tastes a little bit like the chocolate cake he had at the restaurant and the lemonade he drank (he didn’t indulge in the sweet wine with you because he needed to drive). His lips mold perfectly against yours, and he sighs softly when he finally draws back. “But I like you,” you purr.

Jungkook’s eyes darken, one heavy exhale fanning across the lower half of your face. You readjust the leg around his waist, pull him closer just the slightest bit. “Don’t flirt with me so soon after my meltdown,” he repeats, lips brushing against yours. You chuckle. “You don’t know what that means to me.” You can roughly guess, but that opportunity is taken away when Jungkook slots his mouth against yours, soft lips molding to yours. His tongue swipes across your bottom lip, wastes no time slipping in when you open for him, hot and wet.

Jungkook’s fingers are just as warm when he trails them up the back of your thigh, pulls you impossibly closer until the buckle on his belt is pressed flush against your mound. A tiny whimper escapes your lips, chest jumping just the slightest from the pressure. It makes Jungkook pull away with an easygoing grin, chocolate eyes half-lidded. “You okay?” he murmurs, breath a little shaky from the kiss. You nod, tangling your fingers behind his head and pulling him in close again.

He evades your puckered lips, ducking down to press his own against your throat, right beneath your jaw. “Ugh,” you groan, digging your nails into his back through his satin shirt. “I wanted a kiss.”

Jungkook nips at your skin, this tiny gesture that couldn’t hurt even if he tried. “You always want a kiss,” he retorts softly, the quiet smack of his lips filling your ears as he bestows a series of smooches against your skin. And it’s so devastatingly tender how he handles you, like you’re made of glass and will break at a moment’s notice, like he wants to treasure your body for the rest of his—

Jungkook chomps down, hard, and you hiss. “Sit still,” he orders, soothing over the bite with one broad lick of his tongue.

You whimper. “That hurt.”

“And it’ll hurt even more if you keep moving,” he warns you, and before you can ask what that even means, he’s leaving another stinging bite just further down. It’s at the midway point of your neck, right in front, and you can feel your heartbeat in your throat when he sucks a painful mark over it. “There,” he says, mostly to himself. “All mine.”

Your legs tighten around him, and you fight down the wave of heat that threatens to consume you when he places one final kiss over the second mark— the hickey.

Jungkook doesn’t usually leave them. In fact, you can rarely recall a time where he had purposefully gone out of his way to mark you up like this. It was always accidental, always unplanned, because he knew how troublesome it was for you to cover them up for work the next morning. Work, where your coworkers and your bosses and Seokjin could see.

Brows pinched together, your brain begins to draw a connection, one that Jungkook is soon confirming himself. “Everyone will see that now,” he hums, kissing a trail down your neck.

Of course.

You pat the back of his head in amusement, hiding a smile against his soft locks. Before you can say anything more, maybe tease him for being so cute, there’s a hand on your hip that snaps you out of your scheming. Jungkook lifts his head, does that endearing little head shake that pushes his hair out of his eyes, before leaning in for another languid kiss.

It’s even slower than the first, mostly because he’s a little too preoccupied with running his hands over your body now. It starts at your shoulder, teasingly snaps the strap of your bra as you push your tongue down his throat. Jungkook whimpers, that pretty sound that makes you desperate to hear more. It’s the same sound that he always makes when he wants to be pampered, wants you to kiss his entire body while he lays there and takes it.

And you’re all too ready to act on it.

Duty calls and you’re there to answer, tilting his head for him with your hands against his cheeks. He sighs against you, breath trembling as it tickles across your skin. That soft and tender way that makes you melt because he’s just so precious, so dreamy.

But you’re too caught up in your plotting to remember the hand he’s got on your hip, the one that teases the waistband of your panties with one lone finger. It’s only when Jungkook pulls away from your inviting mouth, his other hand holding you down by your shoulder, that you’re snapped back into reality. His lips are swollen and red, slick from your tongue, and so tantalizingly kissable. He huffs out a breath, eyes flickering over your face. “Can I touch you,” he husks, and gives into the temptation to press a kiss against your jaw.

“Yes, please,” you shiver, hypnotized by his hungry stare.

Jungkook wastes no time, pressing another kiss against the bruising mark over your throat that dissolves into a series of lighter smooches he trails down between your breasts. His hands come up to cup your boobs over your bra, giving them one harsh squeeze that has you releasing a long exhale as he moves between the valley and down your tummy, over your belly button. “Open,” he says at your pubic bone, carefully guiding your legs apart until you’re spread wide for him.

The dark panties you’re wearing tonight— the super expensive ones you had spent an hour measuring your body for the exact sizing —receive one light kiss over the front. “Always so pretty for me,” Jungkook murmurs, tracing one lone finger down the middle. Your stomach contracts when he nudges it against you, the soft material of your panties just barely pushed between your folds.

As his hand occupies itself with some relatively light foreplay, Jungkook tasks himself with leaving another tingling mark against your skin. This time, it’s on the inside of your thigh. He starts it off slowly, a few littered kisses against the skin until he deems one spot worthy enough and abruptly sinks his teeth into you. “Not so hard,” you whimper, reaching down to bury your hands in his hair.

Jungkook lets it go, sloppily licking over the area. “You like it hard,” he husks, meeting your gaze as he licks one, long stripe over the tender skin. “Don’t you?” You nod demurely, pressing your knuckles against your lips to hold back a tiny moan from slipping past your lips.

With that new mark blooming over your skin, Jungkook transfers his attention to your pussy, hidden beneath the soft material of your panties. One finger hooks under the hem, tucking them aside until he can see you in your entirety. “Fuck,” he groans, pressing one light kiss over your clit that makes you inhale sharply, fingers digging into his scalp. Jungkook throws one final glance your way before letting his tongue slip past his lips, the very tip flicking against your clit.

Your breathing becomes shallow, anticipation building in the pits of your stomach as he slowly but surely begins playing with you. His tongue is so warm and wet, nudges your throbbing clit, nose pressed against your mound. “Mmm,” he moans, eyes fluttering shut as his mouth works wonders.

“Ah,” you gasp, whiny and high-pitched, when he dips one finger past your wet folds. The entry is seamless, his pointer finger sinking into the velvet walls of your cunt as his tongue swirls against your hardened bud. “Jungkook,” you mewl, knocking your heel against his shoulder. Jungkook huffs, suctions his lips around your clit. The cold metal of the rings he always wears— the duo set from that Chrome Hearts brand he likes so much —presses against the trembling lips of your pussy, makes your back arch when he twists his finger inside of you.

He’s so precise with his tongue, knows just how long and how hard to lick against your pulsing clit until you’re trembling, thighs quivering. Briefly, he pulls away, flicks his hair to the side in one suave motion that lets you see his dark eyes when he glances back up at you again, covered in a thick sheen of lust that makes them appear almost black as opposed to his usual warm brown. His hands reach for the waistband of your panties, tug them off with one fluid pull.

“So pretty for me,” he murmurs, the end of his words laced with a slight rasp that makes your hips jump. “All for me,” he says, roughly pushing his finger into you again. The harshness makes your entire body tighten up in surprise, eyes fluttering shut when he slips his middle finger alongside his pointer this time around.

“Baby, wait,” you whimper, walls fluttering around the two digits. Jungkook leans back in, presses a chaste kiss against your clit that makes your breathing stall as he thrusts his fingers into you.

He ignores your cries, locks his lips at the juncture where your thigh meets your body, sensitive skin that bruises all too easily when he sucks against it too hard. “Only for me,” he sighs, all pretenses discarded as he begins rapidly and roughly fucking his fingers into you. It’s intense, has your thighs quaking as he speeds them up.

The coil in your stomach tightens, and you have to bite down on your knuckles to stop the litany of whimpers from slipping past your lips when Jungkook ducks down again. He bypasses your quivering clit, warm tongue licking at the warm, wet folds around his fingers instead. The proximity makes the tip of his round nose brush along the length of your cunt, a sight and sensation that makes you moan, his bangs harshly tugged away from his forehead to give you the perfect view.

It’s with a particularly hard shove and twist combination of his fingers into your clenching walls that you cum, a gasp caught in your throat as your hips push toward him, chasing the feeling Jungkook bestows upon you. Your breathing is a mess, inhales too short, your exhales inconsistent, as Jungkook slows the speed of his fingers inside of you, lets your cum ooze out around them, coat his fingers and his rings.

“No,” you cry, watching that look come over his face when he withdraws his hand, the look that usually follows him sucking your cum into his mouth. “Jungkook, you don’t have to do that—” you whine, reaching for his wrist and yanking it towards you.

Jungkook follows, crawls back up beside you as he chases his own sticky fingers. “It’s mine,” he urges, has this weird look in his eyes you don’t think you’ve ever seen before. And just as quickly as it crosses his features, he’s lurching forward to catch his own fingers in his mouth. It’s lewd, the way his tongue wraps around them, leaves them sleek under the TV glow, tattoos and rings glistening. He has the audacity to moan, eyes fluttering shut as his devious tongue slips down between his fingers, so long and precise. There’s a tiny noise that tears itself from your throat, one that has him flickering his clouded gaze up to you as his fingers are released from between his own lips. “You like that,” he murmurs, wet fingers trailing down your cheek, capturing your chin to turn your face his way completely.

His tongue is sinful as it slips past your lips again, the tangy taste of yourself clinging to him. His breathing feels hot, suffocating. But his kisses are so good, make your mind go blank. So blank, that the fingers that rub at your clit surprise you completely. “Kook,” you gasp, breaking away from him in surprise.

Jungkook doesn’t let you get far, capturing your mouth with his again. The two fingers you had felt on your chin are gone, firmly pressed against your swollen clit, experimentally rubbing against it. Never mind the fact you were still sensitive from your first orgasm, thighs quivering when he drags them against the wet, soft skin. It makes you shudder, breaking away from him a second time for a desperately needed inhale of fresh air. Jungkook follows behind closely, pressing kisses over your jawline, your chin, as his fingers continue moving against your clit.

He has them pressed together, rubbing at the front of your slit where that bundle of nerves is hidden. It makes your stomach contract, hips jerking forward into the touch in an effort to match him, to speed up the process. “You were made for me, pretty girl,” Jungkook huffs against your cheek, nose pressed against your skin because he’s just so close, practically molded into your side as his fingers send rhythmic shocks of ecstasy up your spine.

Your mouth drops open, stuttered gasps filtering through your lips as Jungkook takes advantage of your sensitive body to draw out another orgasm. But there’s a weird sensation that builds in your stomach this time, one that brings with it a sense of panic. “Wait—“ you gasp, fisting the silky material of his shirt beneath one clenched fist. “Jungkook,” you warn, toes curling.

He responds with a harsh nip against your lower lip that makes you whimper. “Go ahead,” he purrs, rubbing his fingers over you at an insane speed, one that has your juices sloppily spread over your pussy, makes you buck into him and moan against his mouth.

The feeling grows, an intense, unfamiliar thing that you rarely recall ever feeling before, gasping for air as Jungkook’s fingers caress your clit, pressing down hard. “Fffuck, fuck,” you sob, mouth opening in a silent scream, eyes rolling backwards as you feel your pussy lips contract harder than ever before, thighs quivering as your juices squirt out of you, lower body reduced to jello as Jungkook quickens his movements, wrists jerking back and forth as your pleasure sprays out of you. “Ju— Jungkook,” you wail, forcefully slamming your thighs shut when he doesn’t stop, the pleasure seemingly never-ending under such a torturous touch. “Stop—stop,” you beg, eyes filling with tears that spill over when his trapped hand manages one final rough rub against your clit accompanied by a final gush of wetness.

Only then does he stop, leaning back on his knees to drink you in with dark eyes that make you quiver. There’s no trace of his usual post-orgasm cockiness, the smile he’ll flash you, the teasing jabs. Nothing, just a frankly terrifying gaze that has you self-consciously pressing your hands over your chest.

Jungkook doesn’t take kindly to it, roughly snatching one of your wrists up until you’re sitting up, the traces of your own orgasm present in the damp couch cushions beneath you, inner thighs coated in a thin sheen of your own pleasure. Jungkook leans in close, nose bumping against yours. “You came like that for me,” he says quietly, chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. You nod, eyes wide and teary when he reaches for the front of his shirt, giving it the same treatment he usually gives yours; two hands at the front, yanking it apart until the buttons are torn from their stitches and bouncing across your floor.

He throws it off to the side, his tan skin highlighted by the cool tones of the television, the dark sleeve of his tattoo especially prominent. The black ink almost looks blue under this light. You’re so distracted by the perfect swirls and doodles on Jungkook’s skin that you don’t realize that same hand is reaching for you until it’s too late, long fingers wrapping around your throat to jerk you forward, head tipping back to look up at him. “Say it, sweet girl,” he murmurs, eyes half-lidded. “Tell me you’re mine.”

The fingers around your throat squeeze once and then slowly begin tightening. You gasp, meeting his hooded gaze with yours, lips quivering for a response that’s stuck in your throat, trapped by your own surprise and tightening airways. Frantically, you reach for his wrists with both hands, not to pull Jungkook’s hand away, but to ground yourself from the hazy cloud of lust the moment evokes.

Still, your body isn’t as strong as you thought, and once Jungkook reaches a certain tightness around your throat you find yourself coughing. Instantly, he loosens his grip. But not too much. “I- I’m yours,” you rasp out, gasping for air.

For now, it satisfies Jungkook enough for him to release you. And while you’re grateful for the rush of fresh air that fills your lungs, the phantom ghost of his grip around your throat sends a new gush of wetness between your thighs. One that grows tenfold when Jungkook reaches for his belt, undoes it easily. It comes off with one fluid motion, carelessly shucked off to the side as his attention moves to the front of his pants instead.

He doesn’t let you sit around uselessly. “On your knees,” he says, so quietly you almost don’t hear it. “Sit on your knees facing the table.”

You blink slowly, the dry tears on your cheeks leaving stiff trails against your makeup. It takes a moment for your brain to process his request, one long second that has Jungkook pausing in his movements, leveling you with one solemn glare that eventually has you springing into action. You hastily slip off the couch, shuffling toward the coffee table between it and the television. The rug is soft beneath your knees, a luxury you can’t enjoy to the fullest because there’s a ball of excitement and fear stuck in your throat. (Right beneath your bruised skin and recuperating windpipes.) Sitting back on your calves, it feels like every nerve is standing stiff as you await his instructions.

“Bra off,” Jungkook says from behind you, and you’re startled by the sudden ripping of stitches behind you, almost turning to look at him. He stops you with one hand around the back of your neck, drawing a surprised gasp from you. “Sit still,” he commands, your back stiff straight, eyes focused on the screen. After a beat, Jungkook lets you go, pats the back of your head gingerly. “Good girl.”

A whimper catches in your throat at the praise, and you barely manage to bite down on it in time, hurriedly reaching behind you. Your hands fidget over the clasps on your bra, and you nearly jump out of your skin when one lone finger traces down your spine, undoing your bra for you. You don’t know why, but you say, “thank you.”

The television changes scenes in front of you, the bright colors a stark contrast to the darkness of Jungkook’s eyes. Your hands tremble in front of you, fingers anxiously tangling with each other. A few inches beside you, there’s a dark red box filled with the flowers from—

Suddenly, your vision goes dark, hands instinctively reaching up to your eyes. The pads of your fingers come in contact with a soft material, smooth and silky. Just like— “Is this… ?” you murmur, hands sliding across the makeshift blindfold Jungkook’s made for you, the same texture as his shirt had been.

He doesn’t grace you with an answer, just a hand against your hip as he, presumably, settles behind you. “Does it matter?” Jungkook says instead, voice all too close to your ear. Your entire body locks up, hands quickly returning to their spot against the coffee table.

Just as you’d suspected, Jungkook is all too close now, hands crawling over your body. They start at your waist, massage the skin tenderly, lovingly, before gliding up to cup your breasts. You shiver, a quiet exhale escaping you as Jungkook rubs his palms over your boobs, trapping your stiff nipples between his fingers. A sound threatens to escape you, and you trap it behind a bitten lip, fists clenched against the table before you. “You know,” Jungkook says conversationally, like he’s not pinching your nipples enough to make you squirm. “Who else do you think can make you come like this?”

You brain lags. “W- What?” you stutter, thighs pressing together to ward away the arousal. Not like they’re already sticky from before, from when Jungkook had made you squirt.

Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat, pressing a kiss against your shoulder that he trails up to your ear, nibbling at your earlobe. “Who else,” he says slowly, “can make you come like this?”

It’s not a trick question— no one could. You tell Jungkook as much. “I— no one,” you answer, rolling your lips in when he kisses the tender spot beneath your ear again.

His kisses feel loud, but not as loud as his voice when he says, “exactly.” You swallow, gripping at the edge of the coffee table when he releases your boobs, trails one hand between your thighs, the other around your throat to pull you backwards against his chest. It makes your hands flail, landing against the tops of his thick thighs.

Jungkook holds you close, fingers tightening around your throat teasingly. “No one else can please you like you want,” he exhales, letting his fingers trail over your skin. “Not the guy on tv, not your exes, not the fucking loser at your job,” he hisses, lips against your ear. “No one,” he reiterates, voice softer now as he presses a kiss against you. “No one but me.”

And it’s true.

You can’t even muster your usual mouthy, bratty attitude when Jungkook serves you cold hard facts like this. Not when you can feel his aching member press against the small of your back, rest perfectly in the slight dip between your ass cheeks. “Isn’t that right, sweet girl?” he murmurs, voice low.

You nod, tummy tightening when he uses the hand between your thighs to spread them apart. “Only you,” you agree, voice feathery.

Jungkook hides a grin against your skin, a mean chuckle escaping him when he rests his forehead against your shoulder. “Fuck,” he says, releasing your throat. “Such a good girl,” he praises, hands on your hips again. He uses them to encourage you up onto your knees, hips bumping into the edge of the table as he shuffles you forward. “Bend,” he says quietly, palm flat on the center of your back, pushing you down until your belly button is pressed against the cold wood, boobs swinging forward just the slightest. “Perfect.”

Jungkook shuffles up behind you, soothes a hand over your hip when you flinch at the first press of his cock against your folds. “You’re okay,” he comforts, voice like honey as he lines himself up. Your folds are slippery and wet, loose from your arousal and the two orgasms he’s already given you.

Despite all that, the first push of his engorged cock past the tight muscles makes you gasp. “Baby, that’s,” you moan, nails scratching against the coffee table to make a sound that you would otherwise find uncomfortable. “I—“

Jungkook pants behind you, cock sinking further and further in. “I’ve got you,” he husks. His voice is like the light at the end of the tunnel, your dark vision forcing you to rely on him entirely as he guides you through the motions. “Made for me,” he repeats, voice airy.

You nod jerkily, arms trembling as his cock plunges deeper inside of you. “Made for you,” you gasp, head falling forward, forehead pressed against the cold surface in front of you.

He moans, and there’s one deafening moment of silence when he finally reaches the hilt, soft pubic hairs at the base of his cock brushing against your folds. It’s a familiar sensation, having him buried inside of you, but it’s always different when he’s doing it from behind. He always feels fuller, bigger, mushroom tip practically kissing your cervix.

“Kook,” you whimper, walls unintentionally contracting around him when he lingers a second too long. “Move.”

“Fuck, fuck,” he curses behind you. “I know, it’s just—“ he pauses, squeezes your hip so hard, you’re certain it’ll bruise. “I wanna… y’know,” he groans, dropping his head against your back, warm breath fanning across your slightly sweaty skin.

It makes something in your stomach click into place, shifting back just the slightest. The small drag around your lips makes you brave. “Then do it,” you urge, desperate for any sort of friction.

Jungkook practically growls, bucking into you once. “No,” he says, like he’s battling with himself, faced with a mental hurdle he can only cross alone. “You don’t understand,” he sneers, suddenly snapping back into position behind you, pulling you flush against his pelvis once more. It makes you whimper.

“I kinda do—“

“You don’t,” Jungkook hisses, forcefully thrusting his hips into you enough to make your hips knock painfully against the edge of the coffee table, a startled moan falling from between your lips. And from there, it’s like you’ve unleashed a beast, because Jungkook shows you no mercy as he begins fucking you, his fat cock slipping in and out of you, his angry head flirting with your entrance. “I wanna fucking breed you,” he sneers, fingers digging into the skin around your waist to hold you still as he bucks his hips forward.

His vulgarity makes your skin heat up, the warmth probably tangible over your sloppily made blindfold, eyes wide despite the fabric that covers them. “That—” you gasp, thighs trembling with each powerful thrust.

“It’s too much, I fucking know,” he huffs dryly, releasing one hip to press against your shoulders, roughly shoving you forward until your breasts are pressed against the surface, arms bent up beside you to stop yourself from hitting your head. “But— But,” he shudders, suddenly stopping his thrusts to grind his cock against you instead, pussy lips quivering around his girthy member. “I wanna,” he pants, “wanna see you so fucking full of me, because— you’re mine, __,” he seethes, “right?”

You nod blindly, dumbly, brain too flooded with the stimulation he’s bestowing upon you to think properly. “I- I am,” you confirm, gasping for air. “And you’re mine,” you manage to get out, one hand slapping down against the coffee table when he draws his cock out, slams himself back into you quickly.

“I’m yours,” Jungkook slurs behind you, slowly picking up his pace again. The hand on your back lets go, and it’s with trembling arms that you manage to push yourself back onto your forearms, one hand blindly reaching for the hand he’s got gripping at your hips.

“Oh my god,” you whimper, the sounds coming from your connected bodies so lewd and obscene, disgustingly wet when Jungkook slips back inside. He surges forward again, and you try to catch your balance, knees quivering underneath the force of his thrusts. Your hand slides over the tabletop in a feeble effort to hold onto something, anything. You can’t see, and even if you could there’s not much to hold onto on a flat surface.

Except the box your hand knocks into. Your confusion lasts for only about a second because then Jungkook is ramming his cock into you, over and over, until you’re certain your hips are going to bruise and your knees are going to give out. Jungkook’s moans are soft and feathery, sighs that fan over your shoulder and make your back arch, eyes rolling backwards for the briefest second as if you were possessed.

“Mine,” he whimpers, desperate and needy, fingernails digging into your skin as he pushes on. “Gonna be mine forever,” he growls. “Gonna— Gonna be so pretty and big,” he moans, “tits so fucking full.” The image he puts in your mind makes you dizzy.

You nod dumbly, knuckles bumping against the box a second time. “Jungkook,” you choke out, fingers blindly nudging the box aside. But there’s no strength behind it, your entire body feeling weak and useless, all the energy concentrated in the coil in your stomach, the one that grows and tightens with every entrance of Jungkook’s cock into your pulsing walls. “There’s— There’s something,” you gasp, pinky finger tapping against it.

Behind you, Jungkook stills, harsh breaths deafeningly loud. Louder than the television and the corny music that plays, the mindless chatter of the characters you couldn’t name even if you tried. “Why would you...” Jungkook huffs, irritation lacing his words.

You don’t get to question it, because a second later his finger is tucking itself beneath your blindfold, yanking it off carelessly. It makes your head crane backwards, a tiny yelp torn from your lips as the blinding glow of the TV attacks your poor eyes at full force. Jungkook’s long since stopped his rapid thrusts, and it’s only when you glance off to the side that you realize why.

It’s the stupid box of flowers Seokjin had sent you, the one Jungkook had placed on the coffee table when you first got home.

Behind you, Jungkook releases one long exhale, both of you looking at the arrangement with various degrees of discomfort. “Did you like them,” he murmurs, cock throbbing inside of you.

You shake your head, a soft, “no,” falling from your lips. The muscles in your thighs quiver like mad.

Jungkook says nothing, but you watch as one inked arm stretches out from behind you, the movement of his hips pushing his cock deeper into you. A tiny whimper catches in your throat, watching as Jungkook hooks a finger over the lip of the box. One swift tug has it gliding over the tabletop, coming to a stop right beside your forearm. Jungkook leans back, the silence terrifying.

“Did you think they were pretty?” he asks, tracing one finger down your spine. Your lower lip trembles as your eyes scan over the bouquet, at the pretty color selection and lovely scent that joined together to overwhelm your senses.

“No,” you say, but it feels like a lie.

And Jungkook thinks so too, wrapping one hand around your throat and pulling you back forcefully. It’s the same as he did earlier, but with his cock deep inside your pussy, it sends a shock throughout your entire nervous system, a sob tearing itself from within you as he unintentionally pushes himself deeper inside. “Did you,” he says a second time, practically seething, “think Seokjin’s flowers were pretty?”

Your eyes flicker nervously across the screen in front of you, but everything is a blur, Jungkook’s harsh breathing against your ear. “Yes,” you confess, whimpering when his fingers tighten around your throat, press down against your windpipe as he inhales sharply. “But they’re just flow—“ He squeezes your throat so hard, your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, mind growing fuzzy. Eventually, he lets go and you dissolve into a fit of coughs, bent over the coffee table again as Jungkook slips his stiff cock out from within you. “I’m sorry,” you sniffle, throwing a teary-eyed look over your shoulder.

What you’re not expecting is for Jungkook to grab that same shoulder and roughly push you onto your side away from the coffee table, falling onto the fluffy rug as he shoves you down. “Something pretty for a pretty girl,” he sneers, biting down a frankly maniacal grin.

“What?” you exhale, probably looking at him with the same maniacal look in your eyes.

(You were made for each other, so crazy and in love.)

Jungkook stretches one toned arm out, and you flinch when he uses that same beautiful arm to send the box of flowers flying over the edge of the coffee table, a hard thwack resounding throughout the room when they land face down on the other side, petals against the floor, water dripping out from inside.

With those out of the way, Jungkook wastes no time flipping you over, face shoved down against the soft rug as he angles your hips up. “Thinking about someone else when I’m right here,” he growls, ramming his cock back into you with no warning. You sob, clawing at nothing as he bucks forward. “What a mean girl,” Jungkook scolds.

“I- I wasn’t,” you defend weakly, shivering as he snaps his hips against you, the rug irritating your cheek when the motion sends you forward. Jungkook uses the hands on your hips to pull you back, your skin clapping together loudly.

“You think Seokjin would— would fuck you like this?” he spits, using you like a toy as he fucks basically for himself, cock sliding in and out of your squelching walls. “You think he’d push you down and—and call you a stupid girl?”

You shake your head, eyes squeezed shut to fight the wave of tears threatening your waterline. Truthfully, it doesn’t make much of a difference, especially not when Jungkook yanks your hips back again, your entrance sensitive from all the friction. “No, no,” you sob. ”He wouldn't.”

Jungkook scoffs, not bothering to slow his pace down. “Of course he wouldn’t,” he spits, and then, strikes your ass. Two hard cracks of his palm, rings and all, against the globes of your ass. You wail, unconsciously jerking away only for Jungkook to drag you back. “Stupid girl,” Jungkook sighs, cock twitching inside of you. You can feel the beads of precum oozing out from the tip of his cock inside you, their warmth making you shudder.

Your other ass cheek receives the same treatment, two harsh smacks that leave the skin tingling, blood rising to the surface. “Stupid, stupid girl,” he repeats, palms rubbing over your cheeks for a brief second, only to strike down again. “Aren’t you?” You nod, fat tears dripping out of the corner of your eyes and down onto the fluffy rug beneath you. Your behind stings, pain blossoming over your skin. But it’s the good kind, the one that has drool escaping from the corner of your lips from how overwhelmed it leaves you.

“I- I’m a stupid girl,” you agree, your words punctuated by a series of tiny sobs and sniffles. Your walls feel sensitive, raw, from his thrusts. You’re ready to come, trembling hands slithering down to reach for your clit.

“Don’t,” Jungkook warns, snatching your arm up and twisting it behind you.

You cry, tears and drool against the rug. “I wanna come,” you whimper, trying your other hand only for it to meet a similar demise. “Please,” you sniffle, turning your face the other way as if the angle will somehow be different.

“You don’t come until I say so,” Jungkook hisses, using his grip on your wrists to tug you onto his cock. You moan, choke on your own saliva from the force, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix for real this time. It renders you stupid, just like Jungkook had called you, chin trembling as your eyes roll backwards. Behind you, Jungkook grunts something deep and raspy. “Fffuck,” he spits, pistoning his hips into your inviting heat. “You were doing so good tonight—“ a particular brutal buck of his hips, a loud moan torn from your lips “—but first those fucking flowers and now this?”

The rhythm of his deep thrusts cut your moans into stuttered little cries, your words broken with every ram of his cock inside of you. Your walls feel worn, every brush sending a tingling shock up your spine. “I- I’m sorry,” you weep, shoulders shaking from your own tears and the rumbling orgasm that’s just about ready to snap.

Jungkook says nothing, too busy shoving his cock inside of you to grace you with a response. Instead, you’re subjected to his relentless thrusts, sharp gasps from his pretty mouth. “Fuck,” he pants, releasing your wrists after one particular thrusts, your walls clenching around him painfully when he draws his cock out.

“I can’t,” you sniffle, knees giving out before he can catch you, sadly sinking down onto the plush rug. “Kook, I—”

Jungkook makes a sound, something between a growl and a roar in the back of his throat as he follows behind you, planting two firm hands on the sides of your head to use as leverage to fuck himself in. With your thighs pressed flat together, the squeeze is tighter than ever before, and your eyes roll backwards as he gets to work, walls fluttering from the overstimulation.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he pants, all games thrown aside as he begins pounding his cock past your folds, deep into your contracting walls, until that tight spring in your stomach gives out and you’re clenching up beneath him, entire body going stiff for one long beat.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you weep, thighs quivering as you cream his cock, make his movements so slippery and wet, almost dangerous when he’s going this fast. His name falls from your trembling lips, every nickname and pet name you’ve ever given him mindlessly blubbered through your orgasm. Jungkook pays you no mind, thighs tensing up as he chases his high, short breaths and moans filling the space as he fucks himself into you. Until, finally, a few deep strokes later, he’s coming with a shuddered cry of your name on his tongue, collapsing over you, forehead pressed to your back as he catches his breath.

“Fuck,” he groans one last time, body going slack very quickly. He slumps down beside you, softening cock slipping out of your tender folds.

The floor between the coffee table and the couch is dark, the television glow not reaching down here. Even still, the sweat clinging to Jungkook makes him look like a sparkly Twilight vampire, the dip between his pecs collecting the smallest pool of sweat. You can’t stop yourself from running your pointer finger along the skin, over his nipple. His pec jumps deliciously under the attention. “Stop,” Jungkook sighs, catching your wrist in his, pressing his lips to your knuckles in an attempt to distract you. “Or I’ll really get you pregnant next time.”

You push yourself onto your elbows, pinching his doughy cheek. “You won’t,” you tease. Jungkook flicks his hair away from his eyes to level you with a look you’ve never seen before, not a trace of his usual post-sex playfulness to be found. It has you retracting your hand, eyes wide when he doesn’t stand down. Still, you can’t lose. “...No you won’t,” you repeat, quieter, almost unsure. Almost a question.

Jungkook rolls his eyes, tugging you into his arms. He’s all sweaty and sticky, just like you. He’s lucky he doesn’t have four separate loads of cum— three from you, one from him —sticking between his thighs. “Keep telling yourself that,” he pants, so smoothly. Too smoothly. It makes you clench your thighs, something Jungkook doesn’t miss. “Stop it,” he warns a second time.

“You’re just so dreamy,” you whine, sitting back up to play with his hand. “Like, when you made me squirt?” He chuckles softly, eyes fluttering shut. “Not gonna lie, I thought I saw the answer to the universe for a second.”

He’s worn out today, more than usual, that he doesn’t bother gracing you with a response. But it had been a long day for Jungkook; from planning an entire date, to the Seokjin debacle, to the crazy hot sex he’d gifted you. It was only reasonable. You reward his efforts with a soft peck against his cheek that makes him smile, a light blush painting his cheeks. “You did good today,” you hum, patting chest comfortingly.

“Felt like I was in a Viki drama,” he confesses after a moment, has that tiny smile on his face that makes the apples of his cheeks especially round, especially cute. “The kind that have twelve plot lines going on.”

You laugh, snuggling beside him. The rug feels dirty, but so do you so the feeling is cancelled out or whatever. “You’d be the Park Seojoon of any Viki drama,” you tell him, and Jungkook laughs.

That loud and airy one he reserves only for you.

epilogue

Namjoon calls Jungkook’s phone a little after eleven, talking your ear off about some date he’d gone on while Jungkook is in the shower. You tell him about what happened with Seokjin and like all respectable college mentors, he just about flips. “You can sue him,” Namjoon hisses, furious for you. Not that you aren’t anymore, but in a weird act of impulsiveness, Jungkook had gone outside and ran the stupid box of flowers over with his car as you watched from the open window of your apartment. It was weirdly cathartic.

He’s in the shower now, humming the lyrics to one of the songs from Secretary Kim, a song called It’s You by Jeong Sewoon (thank you, Shazam), that makes every inch of your body overflow with adoration when he hits that long note. Anyway, you’re perusing the rest of the streaming service for a movie to watch. Jungkook said you couldn’t watch Train to Busan tonight, something about it ruining the mood. So now you’re debating between a historical romcom or a modern romcom.

Over the line, Namjoon is doing all the raging for you. “Men are trash,” he huffs one last time, before eventually letting it go. (For now.) “Hey, do you know how to cover up hickeys?” he asks suddenly, just as Jungkook reappears in the living room. His skin is glowing, looking like the hottest man alive. The window is still open, a feeble attempt to air out the smell of sex in the room, and the draft makes Jungkook shiver because his hair is still a little wet.

“Hickeys?” you repeat, stretching a hand out for him as he rounds the couch. Jungkook takes it, places a soft smooch against your knuckles, close to your promise ring. Your heartbeat stutters just as Namjoon hums.

“Yeah, this girl,” he says, cutting himself off with a laugh. One you recognize all too well because it’s the same one you let out when you talk about Jungkook to other people. Said boy settles close beside you, leans his cheek against your head when you snuggle into his neck. As soon as he’s there, you lose all rights to the remote, watching as Jungkook completely disregards all your searching just to click back onto Secretary Kim. He had missed a whole episode. “We went a little crazy tonight—“ you gag at the image Namjoon places in your head “—and Doyeon bites kinda hard—“

“Doyeon?” you interrupt, all mental processes coming to an abrupt halt as the name bounces around your mind. Jungkook, having mastered the art of listening in on your phone calls by now, freezes beside you. “You know a Doyeon?”

“Yeah!” Namjoon says excitedly as you sit up. Jungkook meets your gaze, big Bambi eyes giving the performance of a lifetime, and gives your this overly innocent shrug of his shoulders that tells you more about what he does know than what he doesn’t. “Kim Doyeon. She went to your school— actually, she graduated with you and Kook.”

The world comes to a complete stop as you glare at Jungkook, his panicked features cueing you in to the fact he was aware of this, as you’d suspected. “Namjoon,” you say slowly, fist tightening around Jungkook’s phone. “Are you aware you’re fucking my best friend?”

There’s a long silence on the other end, Namjoon presumably processing the information while Jungkook tries to calm the boiling anger within you. “He didn’t know,” Jungkook whispers, big pretty eyes on you as he tries to save Namjoon from you.

All his efforts are in vain when Namjoon clears his throat and so eloquently says, “and you’re fucking my best friend?”

epi-epilogue

The Best Buy employee doesn’t ask questions when you and Jungkook go in to get your cracked phone screens repaired. He does, however, give Jungkook an over-exuberant sales pitch on a brand new line of computer monitors that are almost as big as the television at your house.

You try to save him from the dangerous hands of capitalism, but the Hello Kitty bandaids decorating your neck are itchy, the skin still so tender, so sometimes it’s wiser to let him waste his money than argue otherwise.

“Good girl,” Jungkook says as he swings your arms back and forth on your walk to the car, impressed by the fact you didn’t argue with him in a Best Buy today. “My perceptions and understanding of you in my life make me happy,” he beams, too smiley as he unlocks the doors.

“Shut up,” you glare, painfully tearing the stupid bandaids off your neck as soon as you get in, brandishing the blossoming hickeys Jungkook had so graciously given you last night. At the sight, he bites down a smile. “You’re about to perceive and understand these fists.”

And Jungkook smiles— he always smiles —as he leans over the center console to press his mouth against the darkened skin at the front of your neck, mindlessly rubbing his thumb over your promise ring. “Perceive this love,” he says, so cheesy it makes you gag.

“Goddd,” you groan, pushing him away before he can see the smile on your face. “Someone get this man a Viki deal.”

#networkbangtan #bangtanhq #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #jjk smut #jeon jungkook fic #jeon jungkook x reader smut #bts jungkook #bts fic #bts smut #mine

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markflrt · 3 years

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ENHYPEN REACTION TO THEIR CLASSMATE HAVING A CRUSH ON THEM

enhypen ot7 × fem. reader | school!au | fluff

a/n: idk what is this, just take it as a crack reaction pls. some of them could not be totally or even partially accurate, i'm sorry. TOO MANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES probably.

— lee heeseung

you actually told him that you liked him straight the way 🧍‍♀️

and he's like: fine. thank u🧍‍♂️

lmaoo he blush but tries to cover it bcs he wanna act cool in front of you

whenever you see each other he winks or say some cheesy lines

and the instantly regrets bcs kdhsidhsisba what's wrong with him 😭

but is not something serious, he just like to play around

i feel like he's not going to try something with you just bcs you like him, yk what i mean

he's always nice with everyone so anything really changes

anyways i know we all have a crush on this man bcs he's 😫 so 😫 handsome 😫 and kind 😫😫

— park jay

this man *sigh* he's just *sigh again*

when you tell him about your feelings he's like 😩 why are girls so obsessed with me srsly

ok, lemme tell you this man has no idea about how is to be in a relationship or anything

BUT mf IS GOING TO ACT COCKY bcs he can and he's going to do it

"y/n remember when you told me that you like me? so cute, i mean, i don't blame you tho"

he just like to embarass you

but on the inside he's probably whipped seeing you blush and act all shy

i feel like he's weak for shy girls DON'T ASK ME WHY

— sim jake

he's the cutest man 🥺 literally 🥺🥺

and when he find out that you had a crush on him he finds it cute

but at same he don't know how to act, bcs you never talk to each other 🧐

but he start to give you more atention

tries to have small conversations with you whenever he can

he's an angel, literally ask about your day, or if you eaten and 🥺

winks at you when *casually* your eyes meet his

likes to see you blushing pt.1

— park sunghoon

i don't even need to say that everyone has a crush on park sunghoon bcs this man is SO HANDSOME PLS

so it don't really makes any difference if you tell him about your crush or not bcs he has a lot of girls behind him 😩

but you are his seatmate, and he actually talks to you very often

so when he stars to notice the way you blush and look to other side everytime he looks at you

GIRL HE KNOWS

he gets so cockyy 😫

but i feel like he's not the type who does something about it

maybeeee he smiles at you more bcs he may or may not like to see you blushing pt.2

— yang jungwon

he's very nice so it's hard to not fall in love with him

when you start to write anonymous letters talking about how much you love his voice and everything

he blUsH 😫🥺

you tried to stay on the anonymatum but one of his friends catch you trying to put one of your letters on his backpack 🤡

and oc that friend tell him

so now he knows about you

he's a little bit embarased to talk to you

so basically you look to each other from far away but never really talk 😫

— kim sunoo

pls he gets so blushy when he find it out 🥺

he was just passing next to you when you told your friend that you find "kim sunoo very cute" and you "think you have a small crush on him"

he probably tell his friends about it

and when you finally talk to him he's all smiles 😊😊

pls he's the cutest babyy 😭

he's too shy to actually try something

but if you ask for his number and send him messages he's very smooth and talkative lmao

so all is on your hands girl, you have to work for it lol

— nishimura niki

he's young and very oblivious about this kind of things ☝🏼

i mean if you tell him, he's going to be all cocky lmao

but if you don't he's not going to notice it at all 🤡

he's probably your bestie yk

and his hyungs are the ones who tell him about your heart eyes everytime you're with him

and he's like 😲 really?????, noo no way

and his hyungs like 🤨

but he's probably going to act like nothing, unless you really start to act different

i don't think he's really interest on relationships anyways BCS HE'S A BABIE 😭

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shesawriter39049 · 3 years

Text

|FEVER| M|

Pairing: Namjoon X Reader

About- Namjoon just has a kink for letting you do whatever the hell you want with him...Whether that be putting him in a hot pink suit shirtless! Or, telling him he’s a good boy as he fucks you into oblivion!

OR- Namjoon and yourself hooked up 5 months ago when the boys were in London on Tour, and you were the creative director for there British GQ & Harper’s Bazzar Cover! Now, months later he’s prepping to release his second mixtape “RM vs Rap Monster”. Opting to go a complete 360 from his first release Mono in all realms. So, with that being said BigHit thinks he needs someone with a little more... “umph” Take a wild guess as to who they call...

WC:1.2k (Sneak peek)

WARNINGS: Switch OC (Top & Bottom...but there's no real dom/sub tones here) Service top/power bottom Namjoon, praise kink, Fingering, Unprotected sex(Back shot), come play, dirty talk, light choking, light overstimulation, (This is lowkey a little softer than it sounds) The OC kinda leads this, but Joon isin’t the cliché “sub” he just likes letting her take control.

NOTE- Just my take on the OG cliché Artist X Stylist AU (Though she’s more of a full package, Art Director/Stylist/Photographer ETC) I have tried to add some minor elements to make it a little more realistic. I will say I typically stray from “Idol-verse” just because if we’re being real, the cultural difference alone sometimes stunts my creativity...BUT I just had a little fun with this one...so I hope you all enjoy it. Also, I don’t go into much physical details but in my mind regardless of race, aesthetic wise the OC is a huge contrast to what he’s use to which is part of her appeal. I picture a tatted Barbie of some sorts...

SIDE NOTE: No shade, but shade, I was lowkey inspired to write this bc I have very strong opinions about the creative team at BH....

*** Let me know if you guys want the full thing or not...I kidna flaked on posting because it is such a cliché lol

SONG- FEVER DUA LIPA FT ANGELE

~~~~~~~

“Well, it’s a yes for me” Eyeing him in this Hot pink-fitted Burliti suit, which you paired with a very sheer black Arnar Mar turtle neck. The minute you saw the piece on the runway you’d been dying to get it on someone with melanated skin, and it just so happens, the boys are fresh off the US leg of their stadium tour! So, lucky for you, baby boy’s been in the sun a lot, and Namjoon’s currently a sinful shade of brown and you're totally here for it…

Then to top it off, the mesh material of the turtle neck creates the perfect silhouette around his offensively toned chest, outlining the muscles sinfully. Eternally snorting at the way the fans are gonna thank and curse you out all at the same damn time once they see the looks you’ve pulled for this man!

And yes, you had your crew bring extended shades of foundation and concealer, because his face and neck will match if your name is going to be attached to these damn photos!

Head tilted to the side as you silently observe the way he rakes over his reflection in the mirror, it’s a sixth sense you’ve acquired as a stylist at this point. Half of your job is essentially being a hype man/self love coach, real shit, a lot of these artist aren't always as...confident as one may think!

And just like clockwork Namjoon runs his palm down his thighs, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles on his pants for the umpteenth time in the span of oh I don’t know 30 seconds? Which in turn prompts you to say….

“You look good Joonie...” Musing over your second glass of Don, the compliment was genuine, tone warm, soothing even, not a hint flirtation insight because that wasn’t your motive. You weren’t trying to get him flustered you’re just trying to gas him up a little, you wanted to see Namjoon get alittle cocky and feel himself!

Ears perking up like an overgrown puppy, head whipping in your direction “Yeah?” The way this man’s eyes just lit up like the soul skyline. I just-goddamn, an almost bashful smile toys on those plush lips of his, and you can’t help the way your chest flutters with nothing but fondness.

“So fuckin cute” Flutters off your lips, as you hide a smile of your own behind a half empty whine glass. The delivery was so faint it almost go lost in the background music floating through the air. However the slight flush hitting his cheeks let you know Namjoon heard you whether he wanted to admit it or not!

”Mmmhmm, the color looks fuckin insane against your skin, not to mention, the way everything's going to pop once we tone your hair a little! “ Eyes drinking him in from head to toe, though there was nothing suggestive playing within your iris. Very much aware of time and place and right now your genuinely looking respectfully! Seeing if any alterations are needed, making sure you like where everything sits along his frame. Making notes in your phone of places you want to pin and adjust later...snapping a couple shots here and there.

Licking his lips anxiously as he plays with the lapels on the blazer “But like-I mean-I- dont’-It doesn’t look like I’m... trying too hard or anything?” Brows furrowed in the center of his face, jaw tight, wincing slightly at his own words, almost as if he was afraid of your response. The vulnerability within his delivery was more than evident, and no matter how common this is with artist, it’s still just as devastating! Regardless of how much he tried to play it off as if he was just making casual conversation, you can see how blatantly uncomfortable he is . Gazing back at you wide eyed, and uncannily exposed, pointing at the outfit in question. Licking his lips anxiously as he plays with the the blazer, switching posses subtlety trying to get a better feel for the suit.

You stayed silent for a minute, taking the time to actually process before speaking which is rare, not gonna lie. Gaze piercing as you hop off the bed, wine, and accessories in hand, swaying closer. “It’s fashion”. The baited pause almost implied that’s all you had to say, as if one-word was self-sufficient, and in your mind it was...but you knew better than to just leave it at that.

“Art at its finest Mr. Kim” You smile something a little devious, and he flushes even deeper as you slowly start to invade his space eyes locked with him meaningfully. You can physically see the shift, the closer you get, Namjoon starts fidgeting slightly under your gaze but he doesn't back down.

“It gives you room to play, create...it’s something that let’s us connect to people without saying a damn thing.” Suddenly the hand that wasn’t holding your alcohol has become a prop, flailing around haphazardly as you spoke, pointing at the various pieces hanging on clothes racks in your suite! The penthouse has essentially been transformed into your own personal walk in closet for the next 5 or so days! “It’s a statement. A opportunity to tap into a side of yourself that maybe you can’t always verbally articulate to the world around you! More importantly, it’s supposed to be fun, it’s literally something that can be removed within seconds! I mean we all have to wear clothes so why not just enjoy it?” Head cocked to the side as you appraise him, brow quirked, eyes warm, yet there's a clear challenge playing within your gaze.

Namjoon’s watching you intently, almost as if he’s taking mental notes as you speak...the heaviness within those dangerously honed eyes of his could almost be unsettling to some, but you quite like it. Made you feel as though he actually gives a flying fuck about what you’re saying.

“In my opinion the only time it looks like someone’s “Trying too hard” Making little air bunnies with your spare hand “Is if they look uncomfortable in what they’re wearing, confidence is key, and I know you know that better than anyone RM!” You muse batting your lashes in Namjoon’s direction, and he dimples back at you, eyes sinking into tiny crescents, face rivaling the color of his suit, trying to hide said smile behind his own glass of champagne.

“I could put you in a damn clown suit...” Words trailing off your tongue lackadaisically as you grow distracted searching the bar for a specific chain from John Hardy. “Which” Focus snapping back in his direction making the later splutter a little “Would be fire as fuck if I did by the way, but-” Namjoon ended up cackling midsentence, almost choking on his drink in the process, fist pounding against his sternum.

Yeah..killing the leader of Bangtan wasn’t really high on your list tonight....

“Ayee, none of that shit...” Smacking him in the back a little more so just to be an ass because he wasn’t even choking anymore “Don’t die on me until we at least get this damn photoshoot done, I had to cancel my trip to Jamaica for this shit!”

Now he’s damn near choking and his laugh was contagious, it’s just.. loud, carefree so yes, your cackling, and there's nothing cute about it. But you honestly don’t care, you let yourself get lost in it! Finally able to feel the atmosphere in the room start to shift to something a little less scripted and a little more organic...

Throwing his hands in the air as If he’s waving a nonexistent white flag “I’m sorry, noona” There’s a pout playing in his lips, not exactly aegyo per say, but it’s fuckin adorable “Blame PD-nim, it’s his fault we had to do this so last minute” Wheezes from his throat, in the form of a slight whine, almost rivaling Jimin if I’m honest.

You already know he was laughing more so due to your delivery, specifically, your casual use of profanity over anything else. This is actually something you use to be self-conscious about, especially at your first shoot with the boys, at the shoot for GQ . Well aware it wasn’t as common in Asia for people especially women to use “fuck” like a comma. So you were hoping they wouldn’t be offended, or uncomfortable by your dialect, and, thankfully they didn’t seem to mind. Much like Joonie over here, they found it entertaining over anything.

“Yeah, a huh, sureee...” Eyes rolling to the back of your head playfully as you start lightly altering the suit in question with clips and pens. “Stay still babe” The pet name slipped off your tongue effortlessly, honestly, that's what you call most people in your life. However you were far too focused to notice how wide eyed and flustered the man before you became upon hearing it directed at him so casually.

A faint little “Sorry” muses off his lips as he gnaws on his inner cheek, trying to stay still as you ghetto-rig hems into place until you can get this under your sewing needle.

“ No, but real shit…” You sigh, taking on a slightly more serious tone “If you step in front of that camera like you own the bitch, regardless of what your wearing..., then they can’t tell you shit! If your comfortable there’s no such thing as trying too hard” You shrug nonchalantly like that was the simplest concept known to man, downing the rest of your drink “Alright, that’s all, thanks for coming to my Ted talk” Waving him off as if you’re about to leave the room and he pouted playfully, jokingly begging you not to leave him yet...it felt good to be able to banter like this. The shift continuous shift within the atmosphere was more than welcomed…

Hesitantly you watch his eyes find their way back to the full length mirror, which promptly smacks you back to reality!

Unfortunately you didn't fly all the way to Seoul just to drink, and shoot shit with Namjoon for hours on end, your actually here to work…

Sooo...

“Alright” Placing your arms on his shoulders, giving him a reassuring squeeze as you peer over his shoulder. Meeting his gaze through the glass, chin resting gently against the blade. “Back to the reason you came Mr. “I’m sooo anxiously” Shooting him a teasing little smirk in the process “The suit, yay or nay”

So, here’s the thing technically the official fitting is tomorrow, and as far as his team knows he’s in the studio with Yoongi and Hoseok finishing up a song!

Which of course raises the question as to why he’s here..alone..mind you..no staff or security in site.

Just Kim Namjoon and yourself.....

~~~~

Heyyyy, Lemme know if you guys want this or not, it will leave kinda open ended because it was supposed to kinda be a 3 part mini series initially. Part 1 ends the morning of the shoot, the full thing is set to be around 6/7k! Spoiler, the company is going to want to keep her around for more than just Namjoon’s solo project....

Also, YES...I did see that they actually put Tae in that Burliti suit (I wrote this long before that shoot was released)...I actually hated the way it was styled it though...I never thought I’d say this but MGK’s team did a better job than BH....

#Namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #namjoon x you #kim namjoon #kim namjoon x reader #kim namjoon smut #bts #bts smut #bts au #kpop #kpop smut #kim namjoon x you

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sugaxela · 4 years

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AN ACCIDENTAL FIC REC LIST

So.. I’m a lurker who reads a lot of fics and I get annoyed when I can’t relocate my fave ones. I started making this list of my faves mostly for myself but then figured I’d share it...

I’m Yoongi biased and gravitate towards angst fics so it’s mostly that but there’s fics for every member tossed in here. Some of these are pretty popular so you might have seen a few.

Also, I realized I need to read more Jin, Jimin, and Hoseok fics so if you have recommendations let me know!

Once again it’s a LOT of angst so I would just like to say... CRYING IS GOOD FOR U.

***

KSJ

Start Anew - @gukyi

Seokjin x Reader. Angst. Summary: it’s been five years since you left your hometown, vowing never to return, but a simple invitation to a christmas party and a yearning to know whether or not you’re truly over the heartbreak you left behind has you wondering if, maybe, the christmas spirit and promise of a new beginning can change your mind.

No Limit - @sailorbellewrites

Seokjin x Reader. Fluff. Summary: you and jungkook don’t even look alike. how was seokjin supposed to know you were off limits?

Lovely Little Mess - @guksheart

Seokjin x Reader. Fluff, smut. Summary: telling seokjin of your pregnancy should not be so daunting, but you hide it as long as you can—at least until you are sitting with him in a bathtub and the secret comes spilling out.

No Parking - @jungshookz

Seokjin x Reader. Fluff. Summary: “to the asswipe who owns this mini cooper - do you know how to read signs? this is a no-parking zone. no. parking. zone. that means you are not allowed to park in this zone. DO NOT park here.” (also I made up the title bc it doesn’t have one)

MYG

Seasons Change - @taetaesbaebaepsae

Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: Min Yoongi and you, through the seasons, break up and come back together. Nobody said love was easy.

I’ll Float Away - @ppersonna

Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: years after the breakup, yoongi, a successful award-winning rapper with an unhealthy addiction, finds your wedding invite on Facebook.

Memory Lane - @hayjeon

Yoongi x Reader. Fluff. Summary: grumpy husband yoongi au aka lots of fluff (mentions of sex)

Do It Again - @kimnjss

Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: months after deciding to end their three year long relationship, a sex tape hits the internet. fans go wild speculating that rap star, min yoongi and aspiring model, yn are the stars. old feelings arise as the couple try to figure out a way out of this.

Cuddles and Kittycats - @dinoyoongi

Yoongi x Reader. Fluff, angst. Summary: After a night of drinking, you go to Yoongi’s dorm for some quality cuddles. Unfortunately, you’ve forgotten that you are currently giving him the silent treatment.

Overstayed Welcome - @kkaep-jjjang

Yoongi x Reader - Fluff, smut. Summary: Y/N decides to get over her crush by getting under someone else. Sounds fool proof right? Wrong.

Ghosted - @bloomsuga

Yoongi x Reader. SM AU. Summary: your new roommate is everything you could ask for: quiet, never makes messes, a killer dry sense of humor... and oh yeah—he’s dead.

Wildest Moments - @joonbird

Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: “Min Yoongi is forbidden territory. And although you both know better, the two of you just can’t seem to stay apart.”

Romance is Dead - @dinoyoongi

Yoongi x Reader. Angst, fluff. Summary: You try to surprise Yoongi with a night full of romance but he manages to ruin all of your plans.

Fools Rush In - @sailorbellewrites

Yoongi x Reader. Drabble series. Summary: min yoongi, music executive and perpetual bachelor, marries a las vegas stripper he’s only known for six months. chaos ensues.

Pretend - @gimmesumsuga

Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: “You know what they say: the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, right?”

Aquiver - @floralseokjin

Yoongi x Reader. Idol AU. Summary: Yoongi can’t remember the last time he was able to successfully bring himself to the point of orgasm, then Namjoon gives him a business card advertising ‘Healing Hands’, and that’s where he meets you; pretty and innocent looking, who gets paid to provide hand jobs for a living…

Hidden Stars - @jungblue

Yoongi x Reader, Jungkook x Reader. Angst. Summary: It started out simple, but when your feelings start to grow for the idol who isn’t allowed to date, things get complicated.

Talk To Me - @btsrpp

Yoongi x Reader. Fluff, angstyish. No summary. But it involves a silent treatment.

No Title - @jungxk

Yoongi x Widow!Reader. Angst. No summary.

JHS

Hobi’s Girl - @v-hope

Hoseok x Reader. SM Au. Summary: after attending a bts concert and very clearly catching one of the members’ attention, you can’t help but get flooded with hate comments once people find your twitter account. who would’ve thought that would be the reason jung hoseok would find his concert girl, too.

Bloom - @jungxk

Hoseok x Reader. Smut. Summary: you’ve always had a crush on hobi and he’s always handled that gently. what he can’t handle is you now, nine years later.

Blue Side - @minyoongone

Hoseok x Reader. SM AU. Summary: when you get a text from a heartbroken boy who you mistake for your ex

KNJ

Confirm or Deny - @dinoyoongi

Namjoon x Reader. Angst. Summary: You’re a member of the rising group FRNZEE. You’ve been dating Namjoon for years when Dispatch releases an article exposing your relationship. Your company confirms the relationship. Big Hit denies it.

You’ve Got That - @mikrksmos

Namjoon x Reader. Angst. Summary: After making a life-changing decision for your career, you’re unsure of how exactly to bring it up to your boyfriend after your relationship and communication has not really been in sync. Namjoon is ready to take this relationship to the next stage, and he is sure that what he needs to ask you will be the solution to all the problems you have been having. Both know this next move is the right idea, but are unaware of how parallel those ideas really are.

Duck and Cover - @versigny

Namjoon x Reader. Fluff. Summary: There were two things you never dreamed would become your biggest worries with your new job: Kim Namjoon, and that god damn camera.

Inked - @1997jk

Namjoon x Reader. heavy angst, slow burn, soulmate au. (no summary).

Try Me - @jjkfire

Namjoon x Reader. Fluff. Summary: You wanted nothing more than to leave behind your old self when you graduated from high school and moved on to college to play rugby but when you see your high school classmate, resident fuckboy and captain, Kim Namjoon, at the rugby department orientation, you feel like everything might fall apart.

Stitches - @glassbangtan

Namjoon x Reader. Angst. Summary: People always said getting married at a young age was a mistake - could they have been right?

All In - @kookiesjoonies

Namjoon x Reader. SM AU. Summary: you aren’t usually one to give out your number to strangers (let alone customers), but after you start talking to Namjoon and getting to know him, you decide that there’s no way you’re going to let him leave without it. however, he fails to mention that he’s one of the most popular rappers in South Korea. and it just so happens that one of your best friends ends up with an extra ticket to one of his shows.

PJM

Come Home to Me Darling - @roses-ruby

Jimin x Reader. Angst. Summary: Jimin cheats and you try to make him stay. But whatever you do, it’s never enough.

Attention and Care - @your-daily-biaswrecking

Jimin x Reader. Fluff, angstish. Summary: Jimin must be the only person in the world who complains about his girlfriend not complaining... When Amy doesn't pester him to come home early (like the rest of the members) he starts thinking she might not care for him as much.

Daisies - @silverlightqueen

Jimin x Reader. SM AU. Summary: You’ve had a long-running feud with fellow idol Park Jimin, saving all the anger and bitterness for the yearly award shows and shooting each other a few dirty looks, not bowing when you walk past each other, or just generally throwing shade. After one particularly obvious encounter between the two of you, the fans start to notice, just in time for The Rose Tour!

Doubt - @heartkook

Jimin x Reader. Fluff, angst. Summary: Jimin gets jealous of your relationship with Jungkook, and needs reassuring that he’s the only one you love.

KTH

Of Lace and Lust - @hobidreams

Taehyung x Reader. Smut. Summary: friendship rule number one: don’t imagine how amazing your best friend’s cock would feel inside you. except that’s all you can think about after accidentally discovering taehyung’s kink for panties. specifically, the lacy ones you’re so fond of wearing.

Queen Cobra - @fantasybangtan

Taehyung x Reader. Gang AU. Summary: when your boss offers the chance to take down the nation’s most lucrative gang from the inside out, you know you’ll do it no matter what the cost… even if that means entering an arranged marriage with the kingpin himself.

See You - @gimmesumsuga

Taehyung x Reader. Smut. Summary: The one where Taehyung notices you at a concert, and can't help but want to see you again.

Who Cares? - @floralseokjin

Taehyung x OC. Angst. Summary: what happens when Taehyung falls for someone who’s already taken? Can he control his feelings or will they take over and render him powerless? In the end is it all her fault or his…?

Color of Your Shirt - @firebettercallnct

Taehyung x Reader. SM AU. Summary: when you're close to your soulmate your shirt changes to their favorite color. yn hates taehyung's favorite color.

JJK

Comfort Inn Ending - @joonbird

Jungkook x Reader. Angst. Summary: “It was you who Jungkook gave his heart to- that is, until the day you broke it. And it is you now, hoping that some faultlines can be repaired, and that some broken hearts can be put back together again.”

After I Left You - @latetaektalk

Jungkook x Reader. Angst. Summary: “when you decided to meet up with taehyung for dinner to reconnect, you didn’t expect to see jungkook, your ex, on a date with his current girlfriend and not to mention, end up fake dating taehyung.”

Rattled - @gukslut

Jungkook x Reader. Genre: Single dad AU, Angst, Healing, E2L, F2L, Smut. (no summary)

Risk It - @kookiesjoonies

Jungkook x Reader. Sm Au. Summary: a drunken text ends with you wrapped up in the arms of your ex-boyfriend. aka the man that you dumped two years prior, after he refused to marry you. suddenly, all of the feelings that you’d seemingly had buried come rushing back up to the surface, and you’re not sure how long you can ignore them.

Damn the Delivery Boy - @deerguk

Jungkook x Reader. Fluff. Summary: Jeon Jeongguk is a computer science major working as a pizza delivery boy, and you are an uninspired published author who has just started an art degree. When you realise that the delivery boy is your old high school crush, he keeps coming back, but with more to offer than just puff pastry and vegetarian supreme. Though little did he know that he would end up giving you something much more that flips both of your worlds completely upside down in the form of two blue lines and nine months.

One Thing Right - @hobios

Jungkook x Reader. Angst, fluff. Summary: desperate to get your ailing mother into the best care possible, you ask your childhood friend turned enemy to marry you for his health insurance benefits. the only problem is it’s illegal. and he’s the sheriff. and you swore to hate him since the day he broke your best friend’s heart.

Hidden Stars - @jungblue

Jungkook x Reader, Yoongi x Reader. Angst. Summary: It started out simple, but when your feelings start to grow for the idol who isn’t allowed to date, things get complicated.

Tamped - @chimoona

Jungkook x Reader. Smut, fluff. Summary: You and your business partner/best friend Jin have struggled to find good help to run your coffee shop. Employee after employee, it just never worked out. However, Jungkook is determined to impress and deliver. He wants this more than ever, and it always feels good to want something. To need, well, that’s even better.

Strawberry Kisses - @kimnjss

Jungkook x Reader. SM AU. Summary: an online dating app pairs him with the perfect girl. the two quickly start falling for each other and when things are getting good, he finds out she’s his best friend’s little sister.

Crush - @jungxk

Jungkook x Reader. Fluff, light angst. No summary, amnesiac jk.

Look Alive - @jamaisjoons

Jungkook x Reader. Angst. Summary: a year after you and jungkook break up, the two of you meet at your brother’s party.

***

I got a lot of these from some fic rec master lists.

Here’s a namjoon angst master list by @bts-ficrecs

Also this bts fic rec list by @platinumjeon

An infidelity list by @hellreads

Fic-Recs by @joonapeach

Top fics compilation by @xjoonchildx

There’s more but I’ll add those when I find them, and I’ll either update this list or make a new one when I have enough new fics.

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khrystalsnow · 3 years

Text

DECEMBER 2020 READING LIST

This is the very first time I’ve done a Reading List, which I’m hopefully doing near the end of each of the month! These are the fics that I’ve read during November/December because near the end of the year, I will post my all time favourite fics! They are based on members, type of au, and a little description/review. I hope you enjoy this list!

*PLEASE let me know if I did a mistake or put the wrong link!

LEGEND:

🥺Fluff

🤬Angst

😏Smut

😂Crack

KIM SEOKJIN

Prompt: “Is that my shirt you’re wearing?” by @snackhobi 🥺

really short and cute😂jin is literally perfect, fiction or not🤤we all dreamed to have someone like him😔

Show Me Yours & I’ll Show You Mine by @ktheist 😏

really spicyyy and oc wants, oc gets😌 really liked this fic and jin is perfect😍basically a bestfriend’s brother and we’re here for it 😍😍

MIN YOONGI

How We Fell In Love by @taeyegu 🥺😂🤬

It’s ongoing (social media au) but I’m already in love with this fic😍oc and yoongi are really cute together and totally respect why she wouldn’t wanna date rn but love how the boys are trying their hardest😔

Calico by @imsugakookiebiased 🥺🤬

there hasn’t been that much chapters out yet, but I already like this fic! yoongi really just wants a hybrid🥺along the way, there’s gonna be bumps in the road and curious on how it’s gonna turn out! also curious about the hybrid world in this au!

Playing With Fire by @houseofdemi-blog 🥺🤬😏

AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! literally one of my favourite fics of yoongi!! I love both main characters and uuugggh the progression of the fics is just so nice! oc besically got dumped and to avoid humiliation she “dates” resident bad boy, Min Yoongi😍

Mr. Min by @iamjungkooked 🥺

really cute and short but this fic! made me laugh a little bit and min yoongi is just a soft boi and don’t wanna be lonely OK

Greedy by @xjoonchildx 🤬😏

ongoing mafia au which you can never go wrong with😌 but this is part of the Guarded Series with more masterpieces set in the same world. I really like this one and PLEASE yoongi just wants to be loved 😭 he’s been through too much and this series is pretty action packed

Aberrations by @randombtsprincessa 🤬😏

this fic was a lot to take in, in a good way. Yoongi’s kind of an ass and I was really about to fight oc’s ex🤬🤬 glad that yoongi pulled through in the end

Unspoken Desires by @avveh 😂😏

I meaaaannn, i would want yoongi too😶this girl really want him and got him😭 it was hilarious when she would just complain about wanting him and jin was also trying to make yoongi jealous😂 they ending though😏😏

Third Wheeling by @untaemedqueen 😏🥺🤬

still ongoing but really GOOD! yoongi is an ass but like I get since his wife is mooching off of him and his parents literally SUCKS. I hope that with oc and the baby coming, he’ll have a change of heart🥺

JUNG HOSEOK

Matters of the Heart by @hobidreams 😏

REALLY REALLY CUTE!!! I was punching the air so many times because of their interactions. And when he announced who he was gonna marry😶😶

KIM NAMJOON

Rumor Has It by @jjungkookislife 😏

wheeeewww, this was a wild ride🤤🤤dom!namjoon really jumped out and we’re here for it😌the smut was REALLY GOOD,, I really wanna be oc right now😶

The Globetrotter by @ironicarmy 🥺😏🤬

this was really cuteee🥺🥺 ngl i’m jealous😖 I wanna travel around the world and find myself a kim namjoon too😫 they’re such idiots in the beginning LIKE EVERYONE CAN TELL THEY WERE IN LOVE!!!!

The Lovers by @sincerelyourfangirl 🤬😏

exes-to-lovers😭 it was really good!!!! you can really tell they love each other and wont stop thinking about each other even if they haven’t seen each other😔 both were really hurt and I understand why namjoon had to find himself and love himself before he went back to her so that he wont make the same mistakes again😭

Series: Rommies with Joonie by @sahmfanficbts 🥺😏

AAHHH another really good series!!! uugggh everything about this just makes me want a Kim Namjoon in my life😭 he’s so sweet and perfect😭😭😭

PARK JIMIN

Series: The Alpha by @ladyartemesia 🥺😏🤬

AAAAAAHHH!!!! I love this fic so much and pretty sure people already know about this masterpiece😍😍 abo is literally one of my favourite type of aus and it just keeps getting better and better

KIM TAEHYUNG

Marshmallows and Report Cards by @untaemedqueen 🥺😏

A really cute fic about single dad taehyung and the reader being a teacher🤤 I love how the reader got allow with gasoon in the beginning and tae’s impreg kink jumped out in the end🤤🤤

Santa Baby by @hollyhomburg 🤬🥺

really cute🥺🥺 they just want a baby really bad and they got it😭😭

If We Knew by @iamtaekooked 😏🥺

ABSOLUTE PERFECTION!!! oc’s a worker of tae’s mom’s company (does that even make sense?) and she’s been trying to link them up😔 and the was I scoffed so many times because of how perfect taehyung is😭

JEON JUNGKOOK

Petal to Metal by @luxekook 😂🤬

soo cuteeee!! kook is really cute and how he confessed was really cute but he’s a little bit dumb😂 but it worked out in the end!

Strawberry Letters by @talismaniccream 😏

😶😶😶 i have nothing to say other than: jungkook is a nasty, panty stiffing man. That’s it.

Room for Dessert by @avveh 😏🤬

AAAHHHH!!! broo the sexual tension in this fic😭😭😭I’m just curious how no one literally heard them when they were doing in the bathroom bc she was LOUD loud😭. ngl I haven’t read all of the chapters yet thoughhh

All Over You by @zibermuda 😏🥺🤬

Loved this fic from beginning to end😭😭 I love all of the characters so much!!! especially oc (maybe I’m projecting bc I love skirts too) and jk’s development from”hating” oc to literally not being able to breathe without oc in love😭

Heartbreaker of Mine by @ktheist 🥺

BROOO this fic broke my heart so many times, put it back together and then ripped it againnnnn. I really love this fic because of both the main characters and their character development (definitely a different and realistic ending)😭

A Beautiful Epiphany by @onherwings 😏🤬

UGGGHH really cute!!! and I love development of the fic a lot and just really made me jealous of their relationship so much!!!!

Spring Blooms by @snackhobi 🥺

slowburn, but soooo worth it to read!!!! Beautifully written and the characters are so lovable!!(especially jin). shy kookie is the best kookie🥺

Heavy Lifting by @snackhobi 🥺

oc is a THIRSTY BITCH AND SO AM I!!! I really lovvveee this fic and oc and yoongi’s humour is 10/10. Lastly SHORTBREAD THE PIGEON!!!

SERIES

Reputation by @cupofteaguk

hogwarts au

The Worshippers by @jimlingss

Gods au

#kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #ReadingList #December2020 #December2020ReadingList

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hobidreams · 3 years

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ok rain i have got MANY bones to pick with you because what the FUCK😭😭

1. oc’s mom had a dream to open a clinic? and she feels guilty that she couldn’t do it because she loved yoongi so much she couldn’t bear to leave the palace?????? PAIN (in all honestly though it just makes me feel for oc a lot more esp in that part where she feels like all her choices have just led to bad things and just😭😭 BABE COME HERE LET ME GIVE U A HUG😭😭😭😭)

2. joonie’s a real one for not saying anything abt her state. that’s all i’m gonna say on that folks we love eunuch kim in this household

3. the way he immediately knew that she’d been crying???? we get it you SIMP😭😭

4. “Dust. Really.” babe when i tell you i CHOKED😭 i could already imagine his deadpan face going all “r u serious😐😐”

5. that sequence where he was undressing her. rain. what the fuck. i am once again blown away by the sheer artistry in your work!! now i don’t mean anything by this statement but i just find it suspicious that shakespeare’s been REAL quiet since you released mlt👀

6. MANS FINALLY ATE HER OUT!!!! yes king!! come THRU with that tongue technology!!!!! head canon that in every universe there is, yoongi is just UNPARALLELED when it comes to oral😗😗

7. “You… You can cry.” His voice is a murmur, delicate and hesitant against your lips, as if imparting a secret. “If you want.” when i read that an inhuman sound came out of my mouth i tell you😭😭 somewhere between a croak and a scream??? jeSUS. when i say this part killed me i MEAN IT. I LITERALLY HAD TO TAKE A MOMENT TO JUST BREATHE BECAUSE I WAS SO CLOSE TO JUST OUTRIGHT SCREECHING

8. and lastly, this part right here: “...but instead it feels like he’s been mapping, planning this capture for as long as you have.” i felt that. i felt that. words cannot explain just how much that made hope swell in my heart against my will but WHEW. i am dead. deceased. wiped the fuck out. gone.

9. is that a mf HUG i see???

ok. whew. this update gave me everything i wanted and more😭 thank you for providing the energy boost i needed to speed write the fuck out of that essay🤪 that’s all miss rain ily🥺 -🌿

LMAOOO babe!!!! this ask is so cute omg 💗💞 OC takes ur hugs with gratitude, as we all know she would. Eunuch Kim stays winning. AFDSKLS SHAKESPEARE HAHAHAH thank u so much for enjoying that moment!!! i love those quiet interludes of domestic intimacy bc they’re so familiar yet can be so unsettling 👀👀 FDSAKLJHFWE the croakscream-- i’m so glad u enjoyed this chapter so much??? im smiling so hard at this ask bc it is fr the sweetest. thank u for taking the time to give me ur reactions 🥰🥰 i hope ur essay went well & that u get a nice fat mark on it 💕 take care, love!!!!

#also yea #its a mfing hug!!!!#rain reply #🌿 anon #moonlit throne

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borathae · 3 years

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~Chapter 29~ I'm baaaack, sorry I was so busy with uni, actually still am but I just saw the Orange Ginger Chai Masterlist and got SO excited you don't understand. Sounds phenomenal. But back to chapter 29, I don't personally posess dom energy to this extent but well fuck i love that for oc (and jungkookie 👀), she a bad bitch, power to all the women ✊🏻

🖤 Lips On You - Maroon 5

This reminds me so much of the scene where they kiss against the fridge and jungkookie is a crying mess. I can see this especially playing right after the second chorus drops, that's when they first kiss. Then there's this short slower part that's when the whole burnt ramen thing happens and then the big drop at the end when they just say fuck it and it gets real steamy 👀 "Can't nothing get in between us, baby, we've been waiting on this moment for so long. You wanna be reckless, restless, right until tomorrow. Wait. When I put my lips on you I feel the shivers go up and down your spine for me, make you cry for me. When I put my lips on you I hear your voice echoing all through the night for me. Baby, cry for me."

🖤 Daisy - Ashnikko

Honestly this is self-explanatory, just oc being a dom. "You don't wanna see me bratty, pet the kitty, call me catty. Make your man call me daddy. [...] Fuck a princess, I'm a king. Bow down and kiss on my ring. Being a bitch is my kink. What the fuck else did you think? [...] It's gonna hurt, it'll sting. [...] I'm crazy, but you like that, I bite back."

🖤 Do Me - Kim Petras

Also very self-explanatory, the lyrics are so fitting. "Do me, do me, do me like that. Hurt me so good, make me wanna be bad. Give it to me, to me like that. Feels so good, got me coming right back. Touch me, touch me there, right there. Kiss it, lick it, flip it, leave your handprints on my ass, yeah. Won't get to the bed, to the bed. Counter, in the kitchen, bathroom, mirrors on the stairs, yeah."

🖤 needy - Ariana Grande

This just screams jungkook to me. "Lately, I've been on a roller coaster tryna get a hold of my emotions. But all that I know is I need you close. And I'ma scream and shout for what I love, passionate but I don't give no fucks. I admit that I'm a lil' messed up but I can hide it when I'm all dressed up. I'm obsessive and I love too hard, good at overthinking with my heart. How you even think it got this far? [...] And I can be needy, way too damn needy. I can be needy, tell me how good it feels to be needed. I can be needy, so hard to please me. I know it feels so good to be needed. Sorry if I'm up and down a lot. Sorry that I think I'm not enough and sorry if I say sorry way too much. You can go ahead and call me selfish but after all this damage I can't help it. But what you can trust is I need your touch." Some of those lyrics are giving me old jungkook vibes with which he's obviously still struggling with bc you can't just change your deepest issues like that. Like "I'm obsessive and I love too hard, good at overthinking with my heart" or "I can be needy, so hard to please me" which represent his jealousy issues which came from a place of love and hurt but are obvs still toxic. Or "You can go ahead and call me selfish but after all this damage I can't help it" this sounds a lot more taunting than what I interpret it like. It's not like "are you calling me selfish? 😡" it's more like "I know I am selfish for wanting you back 😔" which he used to say a lot and I imagine this lyric representing him struggling with being open with his feelings and associating his vulnerabilty with something negative. He calls himself "selfish" when he's actually just so in-fucking-love. He feels like he has to apologize for feeling bc he's not used to it being valid and he feels like there has to be a specific reason when sometimes you just feel without a real reason and thats valid too. Honestly while I'm writing this I'm not even sure if it makes sense lol

🖤 Better - Khalid

This started playing right when I was reading the whole thigh riding soft love making part and wow it fit perfectly. Well I mean technically the song is about two people that are not publicly showing their love for each other but the whole "nothing feels better than this part" and just the sound of the song is perfect for this scene imo. "Love to see you shine in the night like the diamond you are. I'm on the other side, it's alright, just hold me in the dark. [...] Nothin' feels better than this. Nothin' feels better, no, no."

OH MY GOD SONG ANONIE!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!! I WAS ALREADY WONDERING WHERE YOU WENT TO gosh I am so happy that you are back hehe!! 🥺🥳💜 now to the songs becAUSE 🥵

Lips on You - Maroon 5

I didn’t know this song before you recommended it to me and let me tell you, yes. This is excatly the type of song that plays in such a scene hngng and now I am thinking about them being all desperate and kissing each other and I am spiralling 🤧

Daisy - Ashnikko

I mean honestly that song is self-explanatory, this song is a jam and I am listening to it at least three times a day hahaha. This 100% fits the mood and the reader being all like “kneel for me” before she spits in her mouth hHAHAH byE I just remembered that she does that to Kook and now my mouth is watering hngngn 😩

Do Me - Kim Petras

👁👅👁 that’s all I am going to say here hgngngn. Listen especially the part with the kitchen counters. If that isn’t them using the entire apartment to fuck 🥵🤧 also omfg that part “you know my body, you don’t need a map” if that isn’t both of them realising how well they know the other and what they like 🥵

needy - Ariana Grande

He calls himself "selfish" when he's actually just so in-fucking-love. He feels like he has to apologize for feeling bc he's not used to it being valid and he feels like there has to be a specific reason when sometimes you just feel without a real reason and thats valid too

This just broke me holy fuck. I am without a doubt crying in my seat :( noooo this is so true and so sad and I am sad and I wanna give googie a hug and goddamn :( lisTEN I never even realised how well that song fits Jungkook and his inner struggles and now I will never be able to listen to it any other way 😭

Better - Khalid

I read the thigh riding part to get your full experience and now I am quAKING IN SAD hfahsdfha this fits so well. Gosh I can’t I am literally going through it 😭🤧 the melody and the slow beat, just *chefs kiss*

No joke song anonie I missed your recommendations so much and this right here made my entire day 🥺💜 seriously thank you for always sending in those amazing messages, the songs you chose really made my story feel far more alive and they added the spice, which it needed. So thank you and I really love you lots 🥺💜

#asks: purple rain #ost: purple rain #song anonie #anon #asks

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welcometotheocverse · 3 years

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💞 Elliot & Henry?

MY BOYS <3

Elliot

1) Elliot and Lorelai: They’re just so soft together and I love the idea of Lorelai being given this neurodivergent child and trying her best to do right by him. She listen to info dump even when she starts only being able to catch one word in 20 and tries to keep up with his interests in different sciences El just thinks the world of her. And in the earlier seasons they’re just so fluffy ;A;

2) Elliot and Rory: ND Codependent twins ;A;. El and Rory are each other’s best friend and cornerstone. Literally the only time ( s) he’s ever gone against his mother is for her. ( specifically when Lorelai marries Christopher and is calling Rory Incessantly he like literally physically takes the phone away from her because “Let Her Have Space” and is very defensive of Rory’s boundaries)

The thing that gets me about them is they both think they’re the Looking Out/Protecting Twin like Rory is very protective of El and will raise hell if someone hurts him or acts mean towards him and people think “oh its her being the older twin” but Elliot is just as protective or Rory and her happiness like to the point he doesn’t say anything about his feelings regarding Christopher ( not for a while at least) because he wants to see her happy. They also both read together and infodump a lot together even though they have different interests and listen I’m love them a many.

They also both think the other one’s the nicer twin which everyone thinks is hilarious because “you both have bambi face”

3) Elliot and Lane: They’re a brotp that snuck up on me bc at first I was like “oh she’s more Rory’s friend” but then the more I thought about it the more I’m like “no..no it’s The Three Of Them” and also “okay so not only would El fight Ms Kim in Doose’s parking lot for Lane he also almost got in a playground fight for her”

Lane is Rory and Elliot’s first ( and possibly only?? Did Rory even Talk to anyone else in SHH in canon??) friend and while there are things she and Rory share that El doesn’t she’s also the one El goes to when he’s frustrated about Christopher or his grandparents ( because no one understand Overbearing and Controlling like Lane) and it’s almost like...the stuff he can’t tell Rory ( being frustrated with his father, feeling like he’s alone being frustrated by his father because Rory all but gets stars in her eyes no matter how many times Christopher lets her down and he loves her okay he loves that’s she’s so willing to hold out and forgive and be patient because she’s Rory and he would never ask her to be anything or anyone else but he’s...not)

And the thing is Lane gets it. Lane talks about how she has to keep her cds under planks, she can’t tell her mother about the things that make her happy. She can’t share her feelings with her mother. Her mother doesn’t know her, not really. And she keeps things to herself to keep the peace and because she loves her mother so so much and she wants to please her so badly. ( and that Elliot gets, keeping things to yourself and swallowing your words because you hate the idea of upsetting someone you love so much even if Rory and Lorelai wouldn’t react badly if he did express himself he just...cares a lot about not upsetting them.)

They just commiserate a lot together and understand each other on a very basic level. They don’t hang out as much specially after the Yale years pick up but they’re the very definition of “I could not hang out with you for months and then pick up like nothing happened)

Also they’re the founding members of the Protect Rory Squad.

4) Elliot and Luke: Elliot and Luke vibe really easily because they’re both introverted. They can literally just sit together in silence and be okay with that. Also Luke scares people so when Elliot becomes overwhelmed or doesn’t want to deal with socializing ( or answering nosy questions like he knows they mean well but they’re....a lot sometimes) he’s known to hang out there and do homework or read or just do whatever he knows he’s always welcomed there. It’s his favorite place aside from Andrew’s bookstore. Also Luke’s known him since he was a babie.

At least once someone’s mentioned that Rory takes after Lore but El obviously takes after “his father” more temperament wise when the four are out ( in the season Luke and Lorelai are dating) and Elliot absolutely beams

5) Elliot and Finn&Colin: Literally the top dynamic and the only one for a while ( like the first image i had of El in my mind was him meeting them i had no plot pre yale I had to work backwards lol) Finn and Colin are the first friends he makes that...hang out with him outside of Rory? Like yeah he has Lane but she still doesn’t see him as much ( as they got older Lane and Rory would do “girl talk or talk about boys and El would kinda..hang back also Ms. Kim doesn’t let him in the house as much because he’s a boy) specially after Yale since they’re far away and “wow the whole Adults Can’t See Their Friends For Weeks thing really bites huh”

They’re also the first lgbtqa people he meets ( in his canon at least) and it sorta...finally makes him feel less isolated ( something he always felt in Stars Hollow no matter how much he loved his town) Colin and Finn on the flip side basically take one look at him( and recognize that he is isolated and lonely and has never met someone like him before) and go “we’re adopting you” ( and like that’s important too, they approached him not him-and-Rory) and really take him under his wing and Elliot’s very “???” but he also clings to them but fast and they become inseparable like Elliot ends up just walking to their place whenever he’s upset or needs company or both ( he goes to their place after the football game at Yale) even as all the drama with Rogan is happening and I’m just really soft for them.

Henry

1) Henry and Jess: Jess doesn’t think he’s a good older brother. Henry heavily disagrees. These two are the only ones who know what living with Liz was like and while people in Stars Hollow are nice Henry really only trusts his brother. Jess is also they one who’s able to read him best and vice versa and Jess is angry in a very “fuck you all” way and Henry’s mostly scared but they both will speak up for each other ( Jess will ignore Luke and pop off about “stop tryin to help me” but will also approach Luke because “listen can you save the dramatic rants for when he’s not there? Yelling scares him.” and “you need to Tell him he can grab the food you buy or he won’t know” and really that shows a lot when you think about Jess’ relationship with communication in season 2 on the flip side Henry often serves as a “Jess translator” and they’re just both very in each other’s corner its ;A;)

2) Henry and Rory: Henry and Rory bond instantly and I’m v sappy about it like Rory’s never had anything like a younger sibling and she becomes the only person he’ll be around without Jess ( either its her and Luke or Luke then her I’m not sure yet) for a while and after the whole “Send him back” situation she just up and appoints herself as his older sibling and makes sure he knows that.

3) Henry and Luke: Luke legit can’t say no to him or be mad at him and the fact that he acts as “a Jess translator” means he sorta tells him a lot about how they grew up and Luke straight up goes “I can’t send them back these are my kids now.” Luke’s also a lot softer with him because of him being younger and not as angry as Jess and Henry’s a lot more open to having a parent than Jess is and they’re just very soft. Luke helps Henry feel safe and Henry helps Luke learn he can be a dad.

4) Henry and Lulu: Lulu had training (due to her being a teacher ) to spot children with signs of bad homes so she takes one look at Henry and goes “yup” and pays extra attention to Henry which Henry winds up loving her for. She also basically strong arms Luke in accepting her help in re to teaching him about kids because “He’s my student and he needs your help. And to help him you need my help” and is a main factor in Luke and Jess communicating better ( because Jess might not be her student but he’s still a troubled kid) since there’s only so much Henry can do when he’s still scared Luke means it when he rants. ( Henry loves her for this also since it leads to Jess and Luke yelling less at each other) She just becomes a very good presence in his life.

5) Henry and April: Listen Henry and April are actually close in age ( he’s 8 in season 2 which makes him around 12-13 in season 6 and ever since I realized this I haven’t stopped thinking about how much chaotic sibling energy the two can have and how Henry would just be “Luke’s really good at being a dad right?” and also talk about fantasy books together and just be cute cousins.

send me 💞 + an oc and ill tell you my top five favorite dynamics of theirs!

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jiminssizzles · 4 years

Text

Interlude: You Are In Love

Summary: Jimin, Yoongi and Taehyung are all happy with their partners. How about the other boys?

Pairing: Jimin x OC, Yoongi x OC, Taehyung x OC, Hoseok x OC, Jungkook x OC, Seokjin x OC, Namjoon x OC

Genre: a lot of FLUFF (I MEAN IT!), but a little bit of angst

Rating: 18+

Warning: implied smut, a little dirty talk, sir kink, some mentions of anxiety/anxiety attacks

Word count: 11K+

Author’s Note: It’s chaotic -- writing about all of the boys in one narrative, but I love it! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it bc I love them all so much <3 Again, thank you @minyoongail for beta-reading. <3

Part of my TAYLOR SWIFT MIXTAPE SERIES

Tracklist:

Intro: Story of Us

Track 1: Daylight >> Park Jimin

Track 2: Afterglow >> Min Yoongi

Track 3: I Almost Do >> Kim Taehyung

Interlude: You Are In Love (You’re here!)

Track 4: _______ >> __________

Track 5: _______ >> __________

Track 6: _______ >> __________

Track 7: _______ >> __________

Outro:

Previous Track // Next Track

It’s been 2 weeks since Bangtan returned from their Bon Voyage trip. Since then, they have been busy practicing for the upcoming award shows and comeback. It was a rainy Saturday morning and the boys are coming out of their rooms one by one as they would go to BigHit together. The only thing scheduled for the day is dance practice. Hoseok checked the time on his watch, “Where is Namjoon? He’s taking too long.” He complained while looking at the maknae line sitting side by side on one of their long couches.

As if on cue, Namjoon walked out of his room, holding his phone up. “Bang PD-nim sent me a text, we have a team meeting in an hour. Let’s go.” Hoseok stood up, followed by the maknae line. Yoongi and Jin are already waiting in the car, as Yoongi wanted to drive and Jin wanted to take the shotgun seat. Hoseok proudly looked at the maknae line, thinking about how the three changed over the years. The younger ones used to be hard to call which makes them late all the time, but now, they listen more and already have the initiative to go without being asked.

They filed in the car, one by one, “There’s a reason we workout, and this is it.” Namjoon joked, making the others laugh. Yoongi started driving as soon as he heard the last car door close. “Rianne’s coming home in a few days,” Seokjin announced, obviously wanting to smile. “Jinjja? It’s been that long? I miss noona!” Jungkook answered, clapping his hands. “Is noona a doctor already?” Taehyung asked. “2 more years, but she told me she misses me so she’s going to spend her break here.” Seokjin smugly said, as if making his members jealous that his girlfriend is coming over.

“I’m sure Lexi misses her too!” Taehyung added, “Oh shit, I miss Lexi too.” Taehyung held his chest and acted shocked. “You just saw each other last night! You don’t get to say that beside me when my girlfriend is in another country!” Jimin smacked his arm, making the boys laugh. Yoongi laughed with his gummy smile, “What happened to ‘you are my soulmate’?” He asked. Both Jimin and Taehyung just finished recording their new song “Friends” earlier that week. Hoseok interrupted, singing the part of Friends “BFFs on one day, enemies on the other,” making the bunch laugh. “We should spend a weekend on the house I bought in my province!” Jin announced again and everyone agreed with him. Yoongi parked the car smoothly in front of BigHit, the boys coming out of the car one by one but still waited for each other before going inside the building.

Hitman Bang entered the conference room first, followed by Sejin. If there’s anyone who knows about Si Hyuk’s knowledge of the boys’ fates, it’s Sejin -- which is why he’s there taking care of them ever since 2013. If Si Hyuk holds the strings given by the Fates, Sejin can actually see the red strings of fate on the members’ pinky fingers. There are only four colors to it: White - if they haven’t met their partner yet, Pink - if they already met them but haven’t got together yet, Red - if they already met and they are already together, Black - if one of them dies.

Upon sitting on the conference chairs, Sejin looked at Si Hyuk, asking him to come closer as he needs to whisper something. “I see that Taehyung, Jimin, Yoongi, Seokjin and Hoseok has red strings.” He said, the boys just looking at the two, not hearing what they’re talking about. Si Hyuk whispered back, “I only know about Seokjin, Jimin and Yoongi. Yoongi talked to me about something, but I didn’t know about Taehyung and Hoseok. Do you think Taehyung finally figured out that it was his bestfriend all along?” He asked.

“Oh come on, why are you whispering in front of us?” Seokjin asked, the others bit their lip to hold back their laughter. Si Hyuk smiled at them, cutting the conversation he was having with Sejin. He always looks at the boys proudly, seeing how far they’ve come and being content with the path he carefully crafted for them. He just wanted the boys to be in a team just so he can keep them together, but them being worldwide stars is out of his hands, that’s their own doing.

“I’m back from my vacation, boys. We can start talking about how you want this comeback to be. I already have a list of shows that want you in the early 2020 and we’ll confirm which shows you want. I also have the list of award show schedules for end 2019, we can already discuss the stages that you want to do. Also, I have to talk to Jimin after this meeting -- alone.” He announced. The boys were just nodding along, but all eyes landed on Jimin when he said that he needed to talk to him alone.

“Why me?” Jimin asked. “It’s just something about your property. Nothing big.” Si Hyuk answered. The meeting went on for 4 hours. It’s nothing new to them because their meetings with their boss are half serious work and half joking around and talking about their daily lives. This is also Si Hyuk’s way of monitoring how’s life for them, but who was he kidding, the boys are really close to his heart.

After the Bangtan meeting, the six boys walked together to the practice room while Jimin followed Si Hyuk to his office. Jimin immediately sat down on one of the chairs in front of his boss’ desk. “Yoongi told me that you already have a girlfriend.” Jimin looked up. He was hoping that he could be the one to tell him that he already has a girlfriend. Jimin just nodded because there’s no point denying it now, besides, all of them knows that Yoongi will never lie. “Is it still the same girl a year ago?” Si Hyuk asked, Jimin shook his head immediately. “No, she’s… different, but she’s not here right now, although I’m asking her to transfer here in Korea.” Jimin cleared his throat, “If that’s okay?” Jimin felt the need to seek for his validation since before this year, only Seokjin and Namjoon got his blessing on dating Rianne and Cammie respectively.

He felt Si Hyuk tap his shoulder, “You’re matured now, Jimin. Of course, you can.” Jimin smiled immediately, “I can just hug you right now, Bang PD-nim!” Si Hyuk stopped him, imitating Black Panther’s meme, “We don’t do that here.” This earned a laugh from both of them.

“Now, I really wanted to talk to you about the property you bought, the old house facing Han River.” Jimin’s head tilted slightly because he doesn’t have any idea why would his boss bring that up, “Yeah, what about that?”

“Someone came by here yesterday. I think it’s one of the people you asked for help in renovating the house. He told me that it’s finished so I just want to advise you to go there today.” Si Hyuk said. Jimin automatically checked his phone, “Jinjja? They could’ve just contacted me. Is that all?”

His boss nodded his head, “You can go to the boys now.” Jimin stood up and said his thanks again to his boss. He could never ask for a better management. He made his way to the practice room and saw the boys starting already. Of course, he quickly made his way to them, dancing with them as if he was there since the song started, making the boys laugh because Hoseok was shocked.

Their practice should’ve ended at 6 PM, but it’s already 8 PM and they’re still lying on the practice room floor. “We should go home,” Jungkook whispered while breathing heavily. They practiced Dionysus again and all of them went too hard.

Yoongi was the first one to stand up and gather his things, “I’ll sleep in Gail’s apartment tonight. I can’t take that she only eats real food when it’s me who cooked. See you tomorrow, boys.” The boys waved goodbye to him, Seokjin shouting, “Have a fun dinner!”

The boys laughed, knowing that Seokjin was referring to another thing. Jungkook looked at Taehyung, “How about you? You don’t have anything for tonight?” Taehyung stared at the ceiling, “Nope. Jagi’s training until 10 PM tonight. I told her to just go straight to sleep when she gets back to her apartment.”

“Or you can surprise her with something when she gets home,” Namjoon suggested. Taehyung sat up and clicked his tongue, sending finger hearts to Namjoon, “That I would do! Thanks, hyung!” He quickly stood up and gathered his things. “See you tomorrow, boys!” He dashed out of the room and left.

“Last five… lying down on the floor,” Seokjin commented. He was supposed to say standing, but considering that they’re all lying down. “I remembered, I have something to attend to.” Jimin stood up.

“Ya! Don’t tell us you’re cheating!” Hoseok said. “What? No, I’m not! Am I not allowed to have a life?!” Jimin said while laughing softly, gathering his things too. “The house I bought is finished already. I’m gonna go take a look and might as well spend the night there. I have extra clothes in my bag anyway.”

Jimin waved goodbye to his hyungs and Taehyung. He already booked a cab while walking out of the building which arrived exactly when he got out. The car ride was short. He paid the cab driver and got out, his eyes automatically looking at the house. He’s shocked that the lights are turned on, his eyes narrowing in confusion. He walked to the house and entered his passcode beside the front door.

The door opened and he went inside. Nothing much has changed except that the interior is now complete with the simple chandelier that he picked and the walls are now painted white. He walked over to the kitchen only to see food on the table, making him confused even more. “What the fuck..” he softly said, because he doesn’t know where did that food come from.

The food is not familiar to him. He smelled it and it smells good. He wants to try tasting it but what if it has poison? Or does he watch too much movies? He held the bowl only to find it still hot, “Okay.. This is creepy.” He smiled his flat line smile and grabbed a spoon, scooped some of the soup and tasted it. It tasted sour, a good kind of sour. He suddenly remembered the dish that Eunice talks about all the time.

Flashback:

“Since you like sour foods, I’d like you to know that my favorite dish is sour too. I swear, it’s better when it’s super super super sour! Too bad I can’t find any restaurant here in Korea that has that.” Eunice said in pout while they were just talking in his bed a day before she leave Korea.

“If that’s the case, then you should learn cooking it, bubba.” Jimin said and hugged her tighter. Eunice nodded, burying her face to his chest more, “And I’ll let you taste it.”

“Okay, that’s your assignment. That’s what you’ll cook when you come back here in Korea.” Jimin softly answered, kissing the top of her head.

End of Flashback

Jimin’s heart started pounding fast after remembering that conversation. He quickly ran to the back porch to check if Eunice is there, but she’s not. He ran to the room beside the living room, but no one’s there too. He held his chest while slowly walking upstairs, because there’s only one last room to check. If she’s not there, then his heart might tear into pieces again, but if she really is there, what would he do?

The bedroom door upstairs is slightly open, Jimin could only see the bedside lamp that is turned on. He took a deep breath before opening the door slowly, both expecting and not expecting to see Eunice there.

And there she is, lying on the bed, sleeping soundly.

Jimin felt his heart drop to his stomach, “Oh shit, bubb.” He ran to the bed and hugged her tight from the back, causing her to stir from her sleep. Jimin showered her back with kisses, her neck too, and now her cheeks. Eunice turned around to face him and hug him back, “You’re home!” She felt Jimin hug her tighter and his shoulders slightly shaking, “Jimin, come on, stop crying. Why are you crying?” She asked, but her tears are slowly falling down too.

“You did not tell me you’re coming back! You surprise me like this! And you just… I love you and I miss you so much, bubb.” He said in pout, making Eunice laugh. “I’m sorry, okay? And for the record, I’ve been waiting for you since this morning. Didn’t your boss tell you to go here?”

“He did, but he did not tell me to go immediately. If I had known.. shit, you’re really here!” Jimin exclaimed, catching her lips with his for a chaste kiss. “You’re even wearing one of my shirts, what are you trying to do to me?”

“Nothing.” Eunice answered, but a smirk is already forming on her lips. “Okay,” Jimin answered, but his lips are already trailing down to her neck. “Aren’t you tired from practicing all day?” She asked.

“No.” Jimin said with finality. “You’re tired,” Eunice teased again, pushing Jimin away. He laughed and attacked her neck again, “I’m not! And I’ll prove it to you, babe.”

“Now, I’m tired,” Eunice said while lying down in bed, Jimin following right after pulling out of her. “And I love you.” She whispered in Jimin’s ear. “I love you too. Hug.” He opened his arms and Eunice is quick to scoot closer to him.

He grabbed the remote from the bedside table, making the aircon’s temperature drop a few degrees colder. He also turned the switch of the bedside lights so it became a little brighter. “How’d you get Bang PD-nim to talk to me about going home here?” Jimin asked, rubbing circles on her naked back. “Long story, but to summarize, Yoongi-oppa was the one who handled Gail’s application at BigHit, he just tagged me along.” Eunice answered. Jimin slightly pulled away to stare at her face, “Really? Did they interview you too? Hyung wanted BigHit to take in Gail immediately, but she doesn’t want to skip the process of interviewing. She also told hyung to advise the HR that it’s okay if she won’t qualify for the position.”

Eunice laughed, “She’s overqualified! I’ve been telling her for a while now. The position she was applying for was Junior Graphic Artist. I’m not even surprised that she’s now a supervisor instead.” Jimin looked at her expectantly, as if waiting for her to share too, “Fine. They also interviewed me.”

Jimin’s eyebrows raised, as if saying to go on, “Your HR team is scary. I thought I was taking a life or death test.” Jimin’s eyebrows raised higher, “And?”

“And I’ll be working with you guys.” She said. Jimin squished her cheeks with his fingers then kissed it right after, “And I get to see you everyday! What a fun life! Congratulations babe on getting the position!” He said and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

“Which position?” She teased again and giggled. Jimin laughed, “I thought you’re tired?”, he asked before going on top of her again.

The next morning, Jimin woke up to an empty bed. Was it all a dream? He asked himself. He rubbed his eyes and stood up from the bed, ready to check the whole house again. He groggily went down the stairs, finding Eunice already busy cooking in the kitchen. The curtains are all draped closed which made him smile because his girlfriend doesn’t really like the sun. It makes her eyes hurt, she said.

He hugged her from behind, his lips automatically attaching itself to her neck, “Good morning.” He said and just stayed there for a while. “Good morning, bubb. Why’d you get up already? You’re still sleepy.”

“Because I thought I was just dreaming.” He pouted on her neck, causing her to laugh. “No, you’re not dreaming. I’m really here. You did not eat dinner last night.” She said, flipping the chicken she’s frying.

“I think I ate dinner very well last night.” Jimin answered, Eunice rolling her eyes as she pulled another pan and placed it on the second stove. “Shut up. How would you like your eggs?” She grabbed two eggs from the counter, Jimin just walking behind her while still hugging her wherever she goes.

“I’d love it to be in your mouth.” Jimin murmured on her neck. Eunice faced him and smacked his forehead, “Why are you such a pervert in the morning?!” Jimin laughed and kissed her nose, “Fine. I want it fried.”

“Did you know that Yoongi-oppa and Gail fought last night?” She asked. “No. Why did they fight?” Jimin let go of the hug and stood beside her as she cooked. “You’re pretty.” He commented while staring at her, wearing only his shirt and his apron. Eunice placed the fried eggs and chicken on Jimin’s plate, “Okay. Stop that. You’re making my heart flutter. So back to the two who fought…”

“And now, you can’t even make the toast properly.” Gail told Yoongi on a Sunday morning. The sun is already high up, but the two are just preparing breakfast. Yoongi did not pay attention, still looking at his phone with his scrunched face. Gail has been talking to him non stop since last night because he can’t seem to give her attention after he cooked her dinner.

“Yoongi, I’m telling you.. If you don’t get off that phone, you’ll be dragging your sorry ass for a week!” Gail said, pulling out the burned toast out of the toaster. Yoongi did not even bat an eyelash, still focused on his phone. “I’m going to buy breakfast outside.” Gail said.

“Take my card with you,” Yoongi answered. “No. I’m only buying one to feed myself. You can just eat your phone.” She said and bolted out the door, closing it loudly. Yoongi shook his head and closed his eyes, just a little bit more, he whispers to himself.

Gail walked outside, making her way to the coffee shop where she met Eunice and Lexi before her bestfriend left Korea. She knows that Eunice is already here, maybe already with Jimin because she already stopped contacting her last night. She walked inside the cafe, the barista smiling at her instantly since she’s a regular there.

There are only a few people inside, maybe because it’s a Sunday and a lot of people are sleeping in or spending time with their family. She just wants to spend time with Yoongi, but he can’t seem to take his eyes off that goddamned phone. The barista, which is also the cashier, suddenly talked to her as she stood on the other side of the counter.

“Are you getting your usual, Gail?” She asked. Gail nodded, handing over her cash. The girl smiled at her and started making her orders. She sat down on one of the bar stools that’s near the counter since the barista knows that her order is for takeout. Her mind wanders back to Yoongi in her apartment, phew, she sighed before standing up again and walking to the counter.

“Hey, can you make my order for two, please? The coffee for the other one is just iced americano.” Gail requested and handed her the cash immediately. “Of course, just a few more minutes, Gail.” The girl smiled again at her. She walked to the bar stool again and sat there. She scanned through her phone and saw a text message from Yoongi.

Babyyy: I’m sorry. I love you.

Gail sighed again, her eyebrow raising on its own. Now he’s saying I love you after ignoring me? The nerve, she thought, but she also can’t deny that she wanted to smile and ogle him. She liked the growth of their relationship, from always fighting and breaking up to just always fighting but talks things over. They both learned to talk to each other to understand their differences.

The barista walked to her with a bright smile again, handing her orders. She stood up and said her thanks to the girl. So much for buying only one for myself, she thought. She can never resist Yoongi, no matter what the situation is. If she can’t resist him when they haven’t even met yet, what more now that she gets to be with him everyday?

She was on her way out, hands full of the food she’s about to bring home, when a girl from outside opened the door for her. She’s wearing a sundress, her hair quite long and she has tattoos on her collarbone and right arm. “Thank you,” Gail said to her. She just bowed and smiled.

Before the door closed, Gail heard the barista greet the girl, “Toshimaru! I didn’t know you’re back already! What can I get you?” Gail looked back at the two and smiled to herself. That Toshimaru girl is pretty, she thought and walked home.

When she arrived, Yoongi is outside her apartment door, waiting for her. The moment he saw her, he quickly walked to her and helped her with the food she brought. Yoongi silently opened the door and placed the food on the table.

“Did you read my text?” He asked. Gail grabbed her sandwich from the bag, “No. What text?” She asked. Even though she really read it, she just wants to hear Yoongi say it. Yoongi sighed, “I’m sorry. I love you, baby.” He pouted and hugged her, swaying her slowly.

“Of course, I read your text.” Gail whispered. “You minx! You just want to hear me say it out loud.” Yoongi has his gummy smile on, pinching both of Gail’s cheeks and kissing her lips after, “Forgive me. You’ll understand me soon.” He said.

Gail just nodded, “I better understand you soon. There’s another sandwich for you there and iced americano. I wouldn’t let you be hungry no matter how much you piss me off.” Yoongi smiled at her as if he knows that she would buy him food too.

Gail walked to the living room and sat down on one of the couches. She turned on the TV to look for something to watch. Yoongi followed her to the living room with the food she brought, “Baby, thank you!” Yoongi said, trying his best to do aegyo.

“You’re already cute, baby.” Gail answered, holding her smile while still staring at the TV Screen. Yoongi cleared his throat and took a sip on his coffee, “Will you go out on a date with me later?”

Gail turned her head to look at him, “A real date?” She asked. The both of them haven’t had time to a real date since they made up, considering that Bangtan ended their vacation just after they made up, then they went to New Zealand for Bon Voyage, then they’ve been practicing hard ever since.

“A real date, just you and me. Would you give me the privilege to date my most favorite girl in the world?” Yoongi asked again, now sitting in front of her, while holding both of her hands. “I’d be stupid to refuse you.” Gail answered.

Yoongi smiled at her, “We’ll shop for our clothes later, baby.” He kissed her forehead and stood up, continuing to eat his breakfast. “We need to shop clothes?” Gail asked, sitting on his lap while they eat their sandwiches.

Yes, they do fight all the time, but they can’t really live without each other. “I just want to dress up, you know? Like how they do it in dramas. On first dates, you dress up so you feel the awkwardness and shit, but then you overcome it, then have fun.” Yoongi said while picking on his sandwich, checking what’s inside it.

“I think the years under our relationship belt are way past the drama level.” Gail said, considering that they’ve been together for years already. “But we just met, baby..” Yoongi pouted, as if pleading to go on with his plan, “Besides, I’m taking you somewhere else after shopping.”

“Okay, baby. Let’s do whatever you have planned. Just don’t make me wear heels, okay?” Yoongi looked up to her since her face is slightly higher than his because she’s sitting on his lap. “Okay, baby. Let’s go shower.” Yoongi said and carried her.

“Together?!” Gail asked, laughing and wrapping her arms around his neck. “Conserve water.” Yoongi said with a poker face which just made Gail laugh more. She knows her boyfriend doesn’t like showing his feelings too much, but when they’re together, his clinginess just jumps out.

“The red one?” Yoongi pointed to the dress on the far end of the store. They’re currently in their casual clothes while picking something semi-formal for Yoongi’s planned dinner later. “Red looks so.. foxy.” Gail commented. “Are you sure it’s okay to go out in public like this? You might get a dating scandal.” She asked for the nth time today.

“How is it a scandal when it’s real? Besides, we’re not doing anything bad.” Yoongi said with finality, holding her hand again. “How about the white one in the corner?” Yoongi pointed again. Gail looked at the dress he was pointing at. The dress is not revealing, but not conservative either. It has short sleeves and its neck line just dipped right.

“Yeah, I’ll take that, but let me try it first. Don’t look.” Gail walked towards the dress, Yoongi shouting, “Marry me after!” Gail turned her head back to him and she just saw him run outside the store. She shook her head in annoyance because she felt her heart flutter again.

Yoongi and Gail are currently inside the car, busy arranging Yoongi’s top buttons. “This formal, Yoongi?” She teased because her boyfriend is even wearing dress pants. “Just trust me, baby. Thanks for doing my buttons.” He said before starting to drive.

“Where are we going?” Gail asked while she’s busy talking to Eunice and Lexi on their group chat. All three of them agreed to see each other tomorrow at Bangtan’s dorm since the boys will be going back to work, while the three of them will be done with their schedules in the afternoon. “Namsan Tower. We’ll be eating there too, then maybe do that lock thing and write our names on it.” Yoongi said without looking at her, eyes focused on the road, but definitely spitting words of love to her.

“Do you know why I can’t get off my phone since last night?” Yoongi rhetorically asked, “Because they messed up my reservation and I can’t fucking stand it when I know that I already have this all planned out. It stressed my wits because I can’t mess up any of our dates. I don’t want that.”

Gail just stared at him as he went on talking about how he had to pull a lot of strings for the reservation to push through, even personally calling the person that accidentally overlapped his reservation and saying if he can please reschedule it and he’ll pay for the next schedule. It’s good that the guy rejected Yoongi’s offer to pay, but accepted rescheduling since he understands that Yoongi’s a busy man.

“You did that?” Gail confirmed, not believing what he just said, but she knows that it really is true. “Anything for you, baby.” Yoongi said again which made Gail softer for him even more. She suddenly felt guilty for lashing out on him earlier in the morning. “I’m sorry for shouting at you a while ago.”

“That’s okay. I know you’ll be pissed.” Yoongi laughed. “I know you already. You’ll be pissed, then still love me after it.”

“Don’t be too confident.” She answered. “Okay, I won’t. I love you.” He said.

“I love you too.” Gail replied. Yoongi snapped his fingers, “See?”

Yoongi and Gail are walking to the cable cars that will take them to the top of the tower. The air is cold and Yoongi always holds her hand, even the city lights of Seoul is beautiful that night. Both of them are not talking, just enjoying each other’s company. Gail hummed in happiness because it’s the first time they’re doing this and she’s just glad that Yoongi arranged it with all his might. Yoongi looked at her while she was humming and smiled to himself, silently appreciating what he has now that he never imagined having before.

The cable car ride amused the shit out of them, not because it’s a cable car ride, but because it’s the first time they’re doing it together and Seoul just became prettier when viewing it from a high place. “Don’t tell me that your reservation is at the highest point of Namsan Tower?” Gail said while looking at Yoongi who’s currently in awe at how pretty she is with Seoul’s city lights in the background.

Yoongi nodded, “I won’t tell you that we’ll have dinner at the highest point of Namsan Tower.” Gail looked at him sheepishly as he pulled her out of the cable car and walked to N. Grill -- which is the restaurant in the highest point of Namsan Tower. They entered the restaurant and no one was there except the waiters. “I also won’t tell you that I reserved the whole place.”

“Baby, you don’t really have to.” Gail said and rested her face on his shoulder. A waiter handed Yoongi a bouquet of flowers which is also part of his plan. When Gail looked up again, she is greeted by the flowers that Yoongi is handing to her. “Yes, I don’t really have to, but it’s what you deserve, so I will do this and everything else just to see that smile on your face.”

Gail swore in her mind that if she could faint, she would’ve already. Yoongi’s overdoing this date thing with a lot of sweetness and she doesn’t know if her heart can still take it. She’s just too happy right now.

They ate their steak while overlooking Seoul. Yoongi just talking to her about everything, his work, his latest song, their latest dance. “Oh right, I remembered.” Yoongi suddenly said, wiping his mouth with a white linen cloth. “You already heard about my new solo song, right?” He asked. Gail nodded, “Yeah, shadow?” She confirmed.

“Yep, that one. I want its color scheme to be the same as the first album cover that you did for me when we met.” Yoongi said. “The story behind your album is actually Eunice’s project, so I think that’s easy to decide on, if that’s what you really want, baby.” Gail answered. Yoongi silently clapped his hands, feeling giddy, “Will you design our album cover?”

“Uhmm maybe? That’s my job, right?” She teased. “Okay! Make one of the versions with that color scheme then.” He said again, still pushing that first album art. “Okay, Sir.” Gail joked, making Yoongi raise his eyebrow.

“You should call me that in bed. Should we try?” He asked innocently. Gail’s eyes narrowed and she pretended to think, “You outdone yourself today, so okay. Sure, sir.” Yoongi laughed, “Ya! I didn’t say you can turn me on right now!” Gail laughed too, “Sorry! Later, then.”

They enjoyed the cool breeze of the night, walking also to the Locks of Love fence. As they locked theirs on the fence, Gail commented, “I didn’t know you are this cheesy.” Yoongi smiled like a cat ( :] ), “I didn’t know, too. I guess you bring out the best in me. Now, come on. It’s almost midnight and I’m craving for coffee.” He said.

Gail nodded and turned her back on him, but Yoongi pulled her again to face him and sealed her lips with a kiss, “They said that you have to kiss your partner so the lock stays forever.” Gail looked at him with confused eyes, “Where’d you get that?” Yoongi chuckled, “I just made it up so I can kiss you. Let’s go!” He happily said while they walk back to his car.

Yoongi drove to the cafe near Gail’s apartment. She checked her watch and it’s just five minutes before midnight. Yoongi got out of the car and she followed him, “Are you sure you’re going to have coffee at midnight?” The both of them stood in front of the cashier, “You don’t want me to?” He asked. “No, no. Get me one too, please.” She answered, Yoongi ruffling her hair before ordering for the both of them.

“Let’s just walk back home,” Yoongi said to Gail. He turned to the cashier, “Is it okay to leave our car in the parking lot? We just live close anyway.” The cashier said yes before handing him their coffee.

The two walked back to the apartment, Yoongi stopping Gail from walking when they were beside a lamp post. “Stand there.” Gail just stopped and stood there, Yoongi bringing out his phone to take a picture of her. “Aigoo, look at my favorites together in one photo.” Yoongi commented.

Gail smiled and pulled him again to walk, “Does that mean coffee and me?” She asked just to make sure. Yoongi proudly nodded, still staring at the picture he took.

"You know, I don't like your apartment." Yoongi suddenly brought up while sipping on his coffee. Gail immediately smacked his arm, "Ya! That apartment is special to me!" Yoongi laughed, "I was kinda hoping that you don't like it too, because.." He cleared his throat, "I was wondering if you'd like to move into my house in UN Village.." Gail stopped walking while Yoongi continued. He turned his head, "I was just asking.. if you're not yet ready, that's okay with me too."

Gail pouted again, "Isn't all of this too much? I would love to move in with you, though.." Yoongi walked back to her and draped his arm over her shoulders, "Nothing's too much if it's for you. Move in with me then." He kissed her forehead and did not bother hiding his smile.

As they enter the apartment, Gail immediately hugged him, “Thank you for tonight, baby. I couldn’t ask for more.” She softly said. She’s usually embarassed to say those words, but Yoongi just reached another level on her heart tonight and she can’t think of anyone else who made her feel this wanted and loved. “I couldn’t ask for more too, baby,” Yoongi rubbed her back and hugged her tighter. “Except maybe you calling me ‘Sir’ tonight.” He smirked.

Gail pulled away from the hug, “Say that you love me first.” She said. Yoongi kissed her nose, “I love you, baby. I’d do anything for you.”

“I love you more, and I’d do anything for you too, Sir.” She squealed when Yoongi suddenly carried her, placed her over his shoulder and made his way to the bedroom.

The next Monday is no different from Bangtan’s Saturday. Their practice was supposed to be finished by 6 PM, but it’s already 8 PM and they’re still going hard on Dionysus. It’s more tiring now that they also practice their solo stages for the upcoming award shows. Yoongi glanced at the wall clock they have in the practice room, shocked that it’s already 8 PM.

“Ya! I thought we’re just going to practice until 6 PM?” He asked. Hoseok finally glanced at the clock too, followed by the other members, “Is that the time? We missed dinner!” Jungkook realized because he really loves eating. “Do you think Lexi cooked dinner?” Namjoon asked Taehyung. The boys are already used to depending on Lexi whenever their practices go overtime.

Taehyung checked his phone, but Lexi’s last message was just saying that she’s already with Eunice and Gail. She did not even say what they are doing or where did they meet. “No, she didn’t tell me if she cooked anything. Maybe we could just buy food and take it home.” Jimin checked his phone too, “Eunice did not tell me anything also, but I know that they’re in our house.. I mean Bangtan’s house.”

“Let’s just buy food for take out, then eat it with them.” Yoongi suggested. Everybody agreed, except Hoseok who’s suddenly telling them again that he won’t come home tonight. “Hoseok, you gotta let us meet her.” Yoongi suddenly said. Hoseok looked at him with wide eyes, “Who told you it’s a girl?” He asked. Yoongi answered, “I don’t care if it’s a girl or a boy, Hoseok, just let us meet him or her soon.”

Hoseok instantly objected, “Ya!! Of course, it’s a girl!” Seokjin laughed and tapped Hoseok’s shoulder, “Let us meet her when Rianne comes home. You should take her with us when we go to my house.” Hoseok just laughed, “Oh come on, hyung! She’s your cousin!” Shocked by the revelation, the rest of the Bangtan boys looked at the two with wide eyes.

“Fine! I’ll let you all meet her soon. Let’s go.” Hoseok grabbed his things followed by the others. They watched Hoseok drive away, while they file one by one inside Seokjin’s car. The boys went by a restaurant to order all of the Korean foods that they’re craving for after a whole day of practice.

After Seokjin parked the car in their garage, the boys a

were all confused as they hear loud music from inside the house upon opening their car doors. “Okay, before we all enter.. am I hearing this right?” Yoongi asked, stopping the boys from entering the house. They can hear the three girls’ loud laughter while Fancy by Twice is playing in the background. All of their eyes landed on both Jimin and Taehyung, knowing that the girl group is kinda hot in their girlfriends’ ears, but what the hell are they hearing right now?

The two just shrugged their shoulders, Taehyung finally opening the door. They all entered the house and noticed that the door to their gym room is open. Yoongi first saw Gail holding her tummy with her left hand, laughing, while her right hand is holding her phone, taking a video of the other 2 girls. “Ya! Why do you know the steps to this?!” Lexi asked Eunice as they dance to the chorus of Fancy, both of them panting from dancing and laughing. “I told you, Lexi, she dated a guy that’s a big fan of Twice.” Gail answered. “Is this the gamer guy?” Lexi asked. “Yeah, that one. He told me to listen to Twice, but I only liked and remembered Dahyun’s face.” Eunice said, Lexi poking her arm. “What are you? A magnet of guys that likes Twice?” Eunice laughed, quickly shooting Lexi back, “And you aren’t?” She winked, clearly pertaining to Taehyung’s rendezvous with Tzuyu, which made the three of them laugh again.

The boys entered the gym room, seeing the girls in their workout clothes, but definitely done with their workout and draining their energy in something else. “Fuck, they’re here!” Gail announced, but the two remained unfazed, still continuing the dance just to complete the video that Gail is shooting. “Fancy, youuuuu~”, Eunice and Lexi sang complete with dance steps while looking at their boyfriends, making the rest of Bangtan laugh. Jimin and Taehyung just stood there smiling while Yoongi went to Gail and hugged her from behind.

“Okay, fine, we’ll stop.” Eunice said and Lexi stopped dancing too, both of them running to their boyfriends to hug them. “Okay, that’s it, I won’t stand here just to be jealous.” Jungkook said and walked out, making his hyungs laugh. Jimin pulled Eunice outside the gym room, quickly grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat on her, “I don’t appreciate the backstabbing, bubba, but it’s alright.” Jimin joked. “At least, I’m not jealous anymore.” She stated. Jimin wiped her forehead, “And why is that?” Eunice acted like she’s thinking, “Maybe because my love for you is stronger than my jealousy.”

All of them went to the dining area to eat. The dining table only has 7 chairs because it’s originally just the boys in the house. Lexi and Taehyung opted to be the ones to eat at the bar counter. Lexi is busy picking out all of the ingredients in Taehyung’s food that he doesn’t like to eat especially the spicy ones. “I miss you,” Taehyung said. Lexi’s eyebrows furrowed, “We were together yesterday, jagi.” Taehyung shrugged, “I know, but is it bad to miss my bestbestgirlfriend?”

Lexi kissed Taehyung’s cheek, “Okay, lover boy, I miss you too.” Taehyung smiled and put more chicken on her plate, “Eat all of that. You’re getting thinner. Your ass is sticking out so much.” He commented. “Maybe because I’m just wearing cycling shorts, or maybe because you check me out all the time.” She said with a triumphant smile on her face. “Please, I��ve been checking you out since 2017.” Taehyung teased back.

“Rianne-noona will arrive tomorrow, right?” Jungkook suddenly asked while they’re all busy eating. Seokjin instantly smiled and nodded his head, “Hoseok, please let me off the hook of dance practice just for one day!” He begged. Hoseok immediately answered, “No. Lexi can pick her up at the airport!” Seokjin was easily triggered, “Ya!! I haven’t seen my girlfriend for a year! If you’re not going to let me off the hook, stop dating my cousin!” He said, obviously blackmailing Hoseok. Seokjin felt Hoseok bear hug him, “I’m sorry, hyung! Fine! It’s your free day tomorrow!”

The next day, with Seokjin off the hook and the boys incomplete in dance practice, they finished at 6 PM. Jimin, Taehyung and Yoongi are all rushing home just to get a glimpse on how the girls exercise. “Ya! It’s not like you don’t touch them! Why do you need to see them exercise?!” Jungkook asked his hyungs because they’re all urging him to drive faster. “The non-stop skinship is just on the early stages of relationship, Kook, when you get that feeling of settling down, it lessens.” Namjoon told Jungkook.

“I don’t think that’ll happen for me and Eunice even if we already feel like settling down.” Jimin immediately objected. Taehyung just laughed, “Well, considering that you’re both eternal flirts to each other, I agree. For me and Lexi, it’s enough that we’re together.” He said before looking at Yoongi. Yoongi just raised his eyebrows, “What?”

Hoseok asked Yoongi, “What about you and Gail, hyung?” Yoongi just smiled, “We’re…. private, really.” Jungkook innocently asked, “What do you do in private, hyung?” Yoongi reached forward to tap Jungkook’s head, “We just cling to each other, baby boy.” The statement made all of them laugh because Yoongi doesn’t really share much and Jungkook’s too innocent to ask.

When they arrived at their house, Jimin and Taehyung rushed inside while Yoongi just casually walked, but the rest of the boys know that he wants to go inside too. Jimin and Taehyung saw Eunice and Lexi doing their plank without talking. “Why do you even bother wearing a shirt?” Jimin asked Eunice before sitting beside her, seeing that her shirt is pulled halfway up, only covering her bra. “Did I ask you why do you.. bother.. wearing a shirt.. at your concerts.. when you’re.. fuck.. just going to pull it up?” Eunice answered, her voice straining due to maintaining the plank position. Lexi laughed without looking at the two, Taehyung kissing her cheek before lying down and placing his head under Lexi’s head.

Yoongi was the last one to enter, seeing Gail in the corner with some of his musical equipment connected to the speakers. It seems like she’s creating a beat and writing something. Yoongi immediately walked to her saying, “Okay, now. This is sexier.” He announced with a gummy smile and listened to what she was doing. “Isn’t that the one you were humming when we went on our date?” Yoongi asked, completely in awe. Gail nodded her head, “Yup. And this song will be for you so stop peeking at the lyrics.”

Namjoon, Hoseok and Jungkook opted to just drop the three at their house and go out again to buy groceries. Without Yoongi and Jin, they just bought the basics and the ingredients that they usually use in the house. Jungkook was busy getting his supply of banana milk when a girl suddenly talked beside him, “I was hoping that you’ll leave even just one pack.” She said. Jungkook hid his pout as he wanted all of the last five in the rack before giving one to the girl. “Toshimaru?” He said, his smile forming immediately before willingly giving the banana milk to her.

“I was just joking. I know you love your banana milk and I saw you so I thought I’d say hi.” She returned the banana milk that Jungkook handed to her. Jungkook smiled widely, “Then, hi to you too. I’ll be back at your tattoo parlor before you know it.” Toshimaru winked at him, “I’ll be counting on that. See you around!” She walked away while Jungkook went back to his hyungs.

“Should we buy our supply for our weekend trip too?” Hoseok asked.

“Want to go for a walk?” Taehyung asked Lexi after she changed to fresh clothes after their workout. Lexi looked at him sheepishly, Taehyung laughing at her, “Fine. Do you want to grab dinner outside? I want to take you out.” He said.

“Japanese food?” Lexi asked before pulling her shorts down to change into pants. Taehyung planted his gaze to somewhere else, “Whatever you want. I just want to be with you.” Lexi pulled his chin for a quick kiss, “Why are you so shy to look? You’re my boyfriend now.”

“I don’t know, jagi. I love you.” He kissed her again before pulling her outside. It’s chilly outside, good thing they’re both wearing coats. Taehyung felt the cold breeze on his bread cheeks instantly which is why he pulled Lexi’s hood over her head, held her hand and put it in one of his coat pockets.

“Taehyung, you watch too much Kdramas.” Lexi said while giggling, holding his hand tighter inside his coat pocket. “You’re my reality, so I’m luckier than those actors.” He answered while they walk to one of the Japanese restaurants near the house. “I didn’t know you’re this sweet to your girlfriend. Maybe this is why a lot of girls chase after you.” Lexi said, thinking about Taehyung’s past dates who somewhat kisses her ass too just so he could like them more.

“Ani. I was never like this to the others.” Taehyung looked at her endearingly before kissing her nose. Lexi pulled her hand from Taehyung’s coat pocket and wrapped both her arms on Taehyung’s body, “So sweet! How did I get so lucky when I’m the one who fell first?”

“You’re in for a treat, my love, because I fell harder.” Taehyung winked before entering the Japanese restaurant with her. Lexi lagged behind a little, her stomach full of butterflies. Taehyung came back for her at the entrance before pulling her inside. They both sat on their chairs while they scan the menu.

Taehyung ordered for the two of them before looking at Lexi again, “You know, it’s nice that everybody knows you’re my bestfriend.” He said, remembering that the fans don’t give any malice whenever they’re seen in public together since they know that they are bestfriends. “Yeah? Wait ‘til they know that I’m your girlfriend already. I’m going to receive hate messages.” Lexi said, smiling at him.

“I doubt! They love you! Besides, you have your own fan base too.” Taehyung took a sip of his water before holding her hand. “You still forget that you’re famous, right?” He chuckled, winking at her again. “And you’re flirting with me in public.” She pointed out.

Taehyung smiled at her teasingly, his bread cheeks coming into full view, “I don’t care. I’m proud that you’re my girl.” The food suddenly arrived, making the two eat in silence while catching glances of each other, occasionally laughing. After dinner, the two of them went on their way, walking to the other side of the road just to take the long way home.

“Jagi,” Taehyung looked at his girlfriend when he heard her call him. “I’ll be gone for two to three weeks.” She said, hugging his left arm as they walked. Taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed, “Where are you going? Did I say yes?” He asked, rolling his eyes at her.

“I don’t need your permission, silly. I’ll be training in Japan. The team wanted to train there for a time.” She said. Taehyung stood in front of her and cupped her face, “Can you please be a keychain so I can just carry you around?” He pouted, causing her to giggle and hug him. “Check the inside pocket of your coat, then.” Taehyung whispered.

She pulled away from the hug and cupped the pockets of her coat. “What’s this?” She asked before pulling out a small box, Taehyung rubbed his neck as if he’s still shy, “I know your coach sometimes doesn’t like seeing accessories on you so I thought I’d get you an anklet, then I’ll be with you always, only in your socks.”

Upon opening the box, Lexi saw an ankle bracelet with a simple design that won’t bulge in her socks if she’ll use it when she plays. “It looks like a rope, but it’s pretty. Thank you. I love you, Taehyung. I didn’t know what I did to deserve this.”

Taehyung playfully bumped his arm to her, “It looks like a rope because then you’ll always be tied down to me. Besides, just being you is enough for me to give you everything you deserve.” He said while laughing at his intentions. “I love you too, my Lexi.”

Lexi closed the lid of the box as they passed a streetlight. She smacked Taehyung’s arm, “Ya! This is Gucci! What did we talk about saving money?” Taehyung held his smacked arm, “Did we talk about saving money? I don’t remember!” He playfully said, but he’s fully aware that ever since they were bestfriends, Lexi is doing her best to help him manage his money.

“Fine. That would be the last overspending for me.” Taehyung whispered, “But it won’t be my last overspending for you.” He said before running away, Lexi running after him to give him another smack wherever her hands can reach him.

“Gombae!!” All twelve of them shout at the top of their lungs before downing a shot of soju. All of the boys have their partners with them except Namjoon and Jungkook which made them partners in every game that they’re playing for the weekend getaway. They’ve been drinking for 3 hours now which made everyone pretty drunk except for the ones who don't get drunk easily -- Seokjin, Jimin, Eunice, Yoongi and Lexi.

Taehyung started being clingy with Lexi after the first glass. Jungkook started being talkative an hour ago too, along with Namjoon. Hoseok can’t stop talking to Maine while Rianne is already sitting on Seokjin’s lap. Jimin and Yoongi are both claiming that they’re not yet drunk but they’re both noisy and talkative. Eunice is just beside Jimin, holding his hand while laughing at everything that he says.

“Stand up, jagi. You’ve had enough,” Lexi said before pulling Taehyung up from his chair. “But it’s too early! Besides, we can sleep in tomorrow.” Taehyung pouted, insisting that they should stay longer with the boys. “Tae, listen to your girlfriend. She knows you best.” Namjoon said while tapping his shoulder. It’s true, all throughout the years that they’ve been drinking with Lexi, she knows when to pull Taehyung out of the scene. In the end, they just trusted her with him the most.

Taehyung pouted again and waved to the boys before wrapping his arm around Lexi and walking upstairs with her. Gail and Eunice both stood up to get more food in the kitchen while Maine and Rianne are just talking about the past. “Too bad you didn’t meet Cammie! You’re going to love her.” Rianne said to Maine. “Who’s Cammie again?” Maine asked, not in a sober state anymore. “Namjoon’s girlfriend! It’s nice that we’re a lot here now. Before, it’s just me, Cammie, Jeongyeon and Lexi.. and Lexi’s not even Taehyung’s girlfriend back then plus Jeongyeon’s always busy as an idol.”

Seokjin tapped Rianne’s shoulder, “Love, enough..” He whispered before kissing her cheek. As much as the past is an open book, Seokjin is worrying that some of the members might find it as a sore topic. “Eunice reminds me of Jeongyeon-noona a lot though,” Jungkook said before downing another shot of soju. Jimin shot him a look, “You know that they’re different, Kook.” He defended. “I know, hyung. It’s just the.. height, maybe? Or the way that she’s not that girly.. or I don’t know, I just sometimes see Jeongyeon-noona in her.” Jungkook innocently stated.

“I’ll see you upstairs.” Eunice suddenly said to Jimin before kissing him on his cheek and placing the plate of chicken in the middle of the table. “Kook, she heard you.” Hoseok said. Jungkook immediately apologized to Jimin before he ran after her.

Namjoon is just staring at his drink before blurting out, “Gail reminds me so much of Cammie. It hurts, sometimes.” The members stared at each other awkwardly, knowing that Namjoon is not really a great topic before for Yoongi and Gail. “Namjoon..” Yoongi sternly said. “I’m sorry, hyung! Can you blame me? They’re almost the same!” Namjoon insisted.

Yoongi stood up, his jealousy getting the best of him. This is one of the reasons why he’s so mad at Gail before for wanting Namjoon and not him, but he never said that to Gail. He knows that Gail is somewhat similar to Cammie, but they’re also different in so many ways. “Ya! Ya! Hyung, just.. go upstairs.” Hoseok said, standing between Namjoon and Yoongi. Yoongi scoffed before going inside, grabbing Gail from the kitchen and pulling her to their room upstairs.

Cammie will always be a sore topic for all of them. Namjoon brushed his hair in frustration with a heavy sigh. His eyes are already welling up with tears, “Fuck. It’s been almost 2 years and it still hurts just the same.”

Lexi is already used to Taehyung being drunk so it’s not a hard task to clean him up before tucking him into bed. He’s quick to fall asleep too so she just let him be before returning to the bathroom. She opted to take a bath before sleeping. After wearing her usual sleeping clothes, she slid in the middle of Taehyung’s arms, only to feel Taehyung pulling her closer and hugging her tighter. She smiled to herself and buried her face on Taehyung’s neck.

“You’re leaving for Japan next week,” Taehyung said while playing with her hair. “I thought you’re asleep,” she replied, looking up at him. “I’m just dizzy, but I’m awake. I want to talk to you.” He said before looking at Lexi. “What’s with that strange face?” Lexi chuckled, “Yes, I’m leaving next week.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” Taehyung confessed and hugged her tight again. “You’re my bestfriend and my girlfriend, we’ve been together since forever, but I don’t know why do I miss you all.. the.. fucking.. time.” He confessed.

“Maybe you are in love?” Lexi said.

“I really am.” Taehyung replied before pulling away from the hug and catching Lexi’s lips with his. He gently pushed her so she could lay on her back while he went on top of her. Lexi pulled away from the kiss, “Really? We’re going to do our first here in Seokjin-oppa’s house?” She asked teasingly.

Taehyung kissed the side of her neck, while his hands rub Lexi’s waist, “There are reasons why this house has seven rooms and this is one of them.” Lexi rubbed Taehyung’s back, urging him to kiss her more, “I’m hurt. Oppa did not consider me when he renovated this house.”

“Jagi.. he knew that we’re going to end up together. Appreciate him more.” Taehyung said before removing her shirt, quickly diving with kisses on the delve of her chest. “I love you. Is this okay?” Taehyung asked before he remove any of her clothes further.

“I’ll hate you if you stop now.” Lexi answered before pulling him in for another kiss.

“I’m sorry that I’m not the one you deserve.” Eunice said upon entering their room, Jimin following right after and closing their door. “Eunice, it’s not like that.” He defended. She faced him, rage obviously written on her face, “Maybe you just love me because you see her in me. Fuck, I’m really this dumb to think that you really love me.” Jimin sighed in frustration, “You think I don’t love you? You think this is all fake? I hid my idol life to you before, yes, but I am always honest about my feelings. Why are you thinking like that?!”

They did not notice that both of them are raising their voice to each other, both not wanting to back down due to frustration and anger. They don’t know if it’s the alcohol in their brains that made them spew those words to each other because their sober selves will always be gentle.

“You can just admit that you don’t love me and I’ll be out of here, of your life.” Eunice said, Jimin quickly held her and pushed her against the wall, caging her between his arms, “Eunice, fuck, how can you think like that? You’re the only person I can love even when you’re away, you’re the only person who can make me feel..” He brushed his hair, “..this frustrated and I still want to kiss the shit out of you to prove that I love you. Do you really think I want you out of my life? Think straight! This is not even a reason to fight and you’re acting like a child!” Jimin stared at her while she stared at the floor.

Eunice walked away from Jimin, then slumped on their bed, face down. She let out a deep sigh when she felt Jimin slump along with her, his left arm wrapping itself on her waist, pulling her closer. Jimin looked at her even if her face is buried on the mattress. “Jungkook is just drunk, bubba.” He said, consoling her, rubbing circles on her back.

“Drunk people are honest people.” She said, looking back at him. Jimin smiled as he saw her cheek plump more as it hits the mattress, “I’m kinda drunk too, and I’m saying that you’re not like her.” Eunice just smiled at him, rubbing her thumb on his cheek. She just studied Jimin’s facial features, thinking if she really deserves all this, or if Jimin really loves her and not only because she’s like his ex.

“Oh, bubba..” Jimin said before pulling her to a hug. “Your eyes look so sad. I’m sorry, bubb, please.” He just felt his neck getting wet with her tears, “Say something.” Jimin whispered. Eunice just shook her head and continued to cry, “Why are you crying? I thought you’re not jealous anymore? I’m so sorry if you feel that way.” He asked.

“Don’t say sorry,” she said in between sobs. “You’re hurting me when you say sorry when it’s not even your fault. I’m sorry, I’m being immature.” Eunice said. Jimin moved away from her, sitting up and pulling her to his lap. They’re just staring at each other with her tears continuously falling from her eyes.

Eunice is trying her best to stop the tears, her breath hitching at the process. Jimin knew she has anxiety attacks every once in a while, she’s been honest ever since they talked in Busan, but he didn’t know it’s like this. “I’m sorry, Jimin. I won’t take it.. against you, if it’s really her. I can always come back home.”

Jimin was taken aback by what she said, silently cursing all of the people that made Eunice feel like she’s always wrong, “Are you breaking up with me?” He asked. “I don’t know. Do you want to break up with me?”

“No, dumbass. I am your home. What are you talking about coming back home?” Jimin cupped her face and kissed the tears away. “I’m sorry for lashing out on you. I wasn’t thinking straight. You’re right, this is not a reason to fight.” She apologized before hugging Jimin.

“I love you. Are you okay now?” Jimin asked, “Are we okay now?” He clarified. Eunice whispered, “Can we cuddle? My chest hurts.” Jimin smiled, gently laying her down in bed and hugging her, “Does this take the pain away?” He asked.

“You take the pain away. I love you.” She answered, basking in Jimin’s presence and wondering how can someone love another person this deep for a short period of time. Maybe it’s real, that time means nothing when you love. If you feel, you feel.

After going back inside the house, Yoongi found Gail in the kitchen arranging the nachos on the plate complete with its toppings. “Baby, come.” He says before grabbing her hand to pull her upstairs.

“What? Why? Let me bring this to them first.” She said, letting go of his hand. “They’ll just have to get that themselves. Come with me.” Yoongi held her hand again and pulled her. She did not object anymore, rather, she just looked at Yoongi while they walked.

Yoongi slammed the door loudly, with Gail shocked at the force. He lied down on the bed, brushed his hair in frustration, rolled his eyes and stared at the ceiling. “Did something happen? Why are you in a bad mood, baby?” Gail just stood by the door, not wanting to go near Yoongi because he looks so angry.

“Why are you standing there? I won’t hurt you.” Yoongi said before waving his hand for Gail to come closer. Gail sat beside him, “So, what happened? You have to help me here.”

“I don’t want to tell you. You might get butterflies in your stomach and leave me.” Yoongi said, pouting like a child. Gail sighed, “Is this about Namjoon?” She asked.

Yoongi looked at her, “See? He still gives you butterflies in your stomach!” Gail chuckled, “No, he doesn’t. You give me the butterflies, but you, my butterfly giver, is also so damn jealous of him.”

Yoongi sighed and held her hand, “I’m not really jealous of him because you liked him before. I’m jealous because he might like you back too.” Gail was shocked by what Yoongi said, but also decided not to react too much because he might just get angry with her.

“Why?”

“You always hear Taehyung or Jungkook talking about Cammie, right?” He asked, Gail just nodding. “You see, Cammie is Namjoon’s girlfriend even before our debut.”

Gail doesn’t know how did that relate to her so she just asked, “And what does that have to do with me?” Yoongi placed one of his fingers in front of Gail’s lips, “Shh.”

“We all came to love Cammie, not romantically, but the same way we all love Lexi. You have similarities with her. You’re both an artist, a good singer, smart, outgoing. Ever since you told me that you like Namjoon, I have this heavy feeling in my chest that maybe, the girl that I love is not really meant for me. What if you’re really for Namjoon? What if you just met me so you could meet him?” Yoongi chuckled at the thought.

He sighed and that didn’t escape Gail’s eyes, “That won’t happen, Yoongi.” He just stared at the ceiling, “What if this is the universe’ way of replacing Cammie in Namjoon’s life? They really loved each other, you know.. before she left. You have no idea how scared I am everyday, that maybe you’ll wake up and you won’t want me anymore. I can’t lose you, Gail. I don’t know if I make that clear to you everyday, but I can’t lose you.”

Gail thought of all the mornings that they wake up together, Yoongi is always the first one to say ‘I love you, I hope you’ll never get tired of me.’. It didn’t sink into her back then, but now it makes sense. “Well, my baby, if she really loves him, she won’t leave him.” Gail said. “Just like right now, I won’t leave you because I love you. You’ve got to give yourself a little more credit than that.” She reassured him.

“I love you more, baby. But you don’t understand. Leaving Namjoon isn't Cammie's choice.” Yoongi stated, brushing the stray hair away from Gail’s face. “What do you mean by it’s not her choice? Where is Cammie anyway?” She asked.

Yoongi was about to answer when Hoseok suddenly entered the room, “Fuck, hyung, I’m sorry, but I need to borrow your car. Please, this is urgent.” Hoseok said, his hand already spread out, waiting for Yoongi to give him his keys.

“What? Why?” Yoongi asked.

“It’s Maine. She went away and she used my car. I just need to follow her, hyung. I don’t know what message she received on her phone for her to flee away so quickly.” Hoseok said, panic evident in his eyes.

“It’s on top of the refrigerator.” Yoongi said, Hoseok quickly ran outside the room. Yoongi stood up from the bed to go out, seeing that the others were in the living room too. He saw Hoseok run outside with his car keys, while Seokjin is busy with his phone, repeatedly saying, “Charmaine, pick the fuck up.”

Yoongi went down the stairs, while the others are already sitting in the living room.

“Jin-hyung, can you explain to us what really is happening between Hoseok and Maine? What are you all running from?” Yoongi asked, all eyes now looking at Seokjin.

Seokjin sighed, “Ever since the start of their relationship, I already told them that it’s an endless chase, but the two won’t listen to me.”

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jungkook asked.

“You see, those two met each other in a pub near Hoseok’s apartment.” Seokjin said.

All of them just stared at him, “And?”

published 04.12.20, 8:52 PM

#ficswithluv #btswriterscollective #bangtanidx #btswritingcafe #bts fic #bts jimin fic #bts yoongi fic #bts taehyung fic #bts fluff #bts hoseok fic #bts jungkook fic #bts seokjin fic #bts namjoon fic #jimin fluff #yoongi fluff #taehyung fluff

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 5 years

Text

hey so remember like last year when i was re-reading misadventures and fixing typos? (well, i say that, but it was just an excuse to re-read it and write some absolutely absurd commentary on it...) i found old notes in my phone from january with even more so guess i may as well post it because people seemed to find it funny at the time, it’s basically just The Misadventures of Aish Realizing Things though

[yeah so here’s the original notes i’m not even gonna change anything even though lots of Lore has happened in the show and we Know things now, you just get to see what january aish typed]

ok well let’s go then chapters 31-35 oh god

oh yeah the ML Blackout! I remember that

hm it’s occurring to me maaaaaybe I should post a bit of a warning on this chapter. like “yes this starts off stupid and cracky and fluffy but takes a complete 180 in the middle and you will end up sobbing.”

or maybe I should put that as a disclaimer on the whole fic cause it’s one hell of a ride

THE AROACE SCIENCE JOURNAL YESSSSSSS THAT COMES BACK LATER

yeah the reason why the early parts of this chapter are very lighthearted is honestly because the fic was getting a bit too bleak, I needed something cheerful, so paper planes and arm wrestles it was

wait... isn’t this just that scene from Anansi??? where like Nora challenges Nino to an arm wrestle but then he wins because Someone Else Nearby Did A Thing

also this is Peak characterization, damn Aish, you rly outdone yourself, congration

any time I drop the word “inkling” into a fic it is always 100% a splatoon reference

MAX WOW TONE DOWN THE GAY

heh... BI-ceps...

oh my godddd Max trying to play off his ogling as “ah yes I am scientifically studying Kim’s arm muscles ofc, it’s science I swear” is SO frickin funny I’m already losing it

Alix: “scientifically speaking I’m hot therefore you have to lose this arm wrestle” hshdhdghshskkjkdhshs

^literally the kind of nonsense every single teen I know spouts irl

including me when I was a teen, I just said things

(I still just say things)

you can’t bring up the sports bra thing goddammit, I agree it’s cheating because it has the power to one-hit kill anyone in the vicinity

I love how Max thinks his crush on Kim is “under control” while like. visibly swooning over him

OH MY GOD THE PILLOWS SHHDJDHDHDHSKHS

OKAY SO LIKE I was supposed to put the thing about Kim snogging a pillow in chapter 20 but I forgot or something and then I just had to get it in somehow, oh it kills me dead just thinking about it, I’m dying, I’m dead

and the fact that he admits to it as well, holy moly

KIM

K I M

THAT’S GAY

OH WOW

this is the moment when Alix’s Kimax shipper heart was suddenly feeling validated like “omg wait Kim DOES like Max??? like for real??????”

awwwww Kim, Max doesn’t have those kind of superpowers, you just have a crush on him that’s all <3

THE SKATEBOARDING SNEK!!!!!!!!!!!!

“What the heck is that?” “My snake.” DYINGGGG

Kim trying to figure out if the snake is sitting or standing is a whole mood

ohhhhhhhh my gosh poor Alix trying so damn hard to subtly ask Kim if he likes Max and Kim’s just. so DUMB he doesn’t even get it no matter how obvious she is

she’s even trying to pull out those stupid amatonormative “so is he MORE than a friend???” questions just to get this idiot to figure it out because she knows allo-romos are Like That and he still doesn’t get it,,

[future aish says: the word is alloro, past aish. it’s alloro]

AND SO NOW SHE ASSUMES THEY’RE NOT INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE SHE THINKS EVEN KIM CAN’T BE THAT STUPID

YOU UNDERESTIMATE HIS STUPIDITY

oh no... oh NO.... the letter.... here we go....

btw yes Gabriel had Kim’s grandad assassinated, it was indeed his doing

...isn’t this lowkey the plot of The Lion King?

or Long Live The Queen

hmmm let’s just say in the sequel poor Kim really will have to deal with the stresses of ruling a country >:D

NO MY POOR SON HAVING A BREAKDOWN, I WANT TO HUG HIM

(also can I just say like... this chapter is actually well-written for the most part? I’m actually kinda impressed)

unfortunately I know the feeling of wanting, needing to return home, but it fills you with dread... *hugs Kim forever*

Kim crying all over Max both hurts me and sort of heals me because Max is so sweet and comforting about it ohhh my heeeaaart

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

THIS IS LOWKEY A LOVE CONFESSION I SWEAR, IT’S SO CUTE

chapter 32 being called “Un chat noir” is kinda dumb af but also it just so happened that I accidentally had the chapter called “Coccinelle” be chapter 64, aka exactly double of 32, so that was kinda neat

Plagggggg!!!!!!!!!!

and Wayhem lol, I think I’ve already mentioned how originally this noble was just some random irrelevant unnamed OC until I decided way later it’s gay stalker fanboy

oh yeah that’s how the nobility recognize the royalty, I forgot lol

(also nobles from countries with widespread newspress or tv will recognize them from news reports and stuff I guess)

the fact that Plagg just hates Wayhem is funny to me for some reason

MISADVENTURES

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY THREW IN THE ACTUAL WORD

except it was in reference to Adrien... let’s just say that The Misadventures of Imperial Prince Adrien may or may not make an appearance in the sequel >:D

...the Adrienette is literally just in this fic so that people would read it, ngl

hhhhhhhhhhhh okay it’s true Alix is an aro idiot who doesn’t know anything about romance but for once she’s RIGHT, Kim IS in love with Max, but she assumes she’s wrong hshgshdjhdnsnsh

oh my god noooo timeline twin go away and stop giving me nightmares

I still love how they hate each other, that’s some top-notch self-hatred right there and I need to get on their level

[future aish note: no past self!! be nice to yourself!! you are a cool bean!! own it!!]

YOU FOOL... EVERY CLASSMATE WOULD TAKE A SWORD TO THE HAND FOR ALIX, WHY WOULDN’T THEY

ỳïķèš,,,

honestly I probably should stop being lazy and actually go back to like idk chapter 8 and put in an actual monopoly game (it had to have been before the oracle sessions in ch10 at least)

fun fact!! I have indeed very nearly had a fist fight over the last dark blue card in a monopoly game!! also I blatantly cheated, and the main opponent locked someone else (an 8 year old btw) in a cupboard... it was Wild(TM)

me and my irl friend actually came up with the butterfly thing when we were at the cinema once, she made up this random angry gardener OC who stepped on a butterfly after being fired or something lol

I mentioned Rose liking unicorns!!!! before Captain Hardrock!!!!!!!

shdhdhkshs Alix is such a moody emo brat in this fic I adore it

“The only real difference between you and me is one dead butterfly.” goddammit that’s the creepiest fucking thing, I’m genuinely shaking

technically it’s a butterfly’s fault for ALL the timelines which means that we’re all one butterfly away from death at any moment

cheerful stuff

no, no, you’re not trying to block it out on purpose... I’M trying to block it out on purpose bc I’m highkey shamelessly projecting

god I wish my timeline twin would manifest in the astral plane and punch me in the arm too

“Count yourself lucky you’re not a pillow, idiot.” in-context this is contender for Most Cursed Line I Have Ever Written In My Life

and yes Alix was about to straight-up swear

Mylène rollerskating is extremely blessed and good

pfffffffff Max you coward, I stand on swivel chairs all the time

*me, chanting at the spider in my room* KIMAX! KIMAX! KIMAX!

Kim literally making every excuse to not put Max down is amazing honestly

Kim and Max’s origins story is sooooooooooo cute wtf

THIS IS SO BLESSED OH MY HEART

HE’S JUST STANDING THERE CUDDLING HIM I’M

DECEASED

I,,,, swear to god,,,,,,,

so like. I know it’s now canon in the show that Kim really is as oblivious to his feelings as I wrote him in this. but MY GOD. IT’S FRIGGIN PAINFUL

KIM YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH MAX, FULL HOMO, THAT’S WHY YOU’RE FEELING LIKE THIS, IT’S NOT THAT COMPLICATED DAMMIT

oh yeah I wrote the kimax bits rly early and my old url was @queenkubdel haha

aight now a no-kimax chapter, but at least it’s a goodun

there’s that catradora-esque weather girls frenemyship again

Kim having a full-on breakdown when he finds out Alix’s hair isn’t really pink is actually really blessed, no lemme explain

so this universe has magic, right?? so he thinks to himself that the reason his friend has pink hair is because she must be some sort of anime protagonist or Really Important and Cool or something, and it never even occurred to him to doubt her

in other words he’s betrayed because he WANTED HIS FRIEND TO BE A COOL SHONEN HERO

which is both hilarious AND very sweet

...oh wait I’ve scrolled down and it turns out I literally explained all that in the fic itself hhdgjdvzjdjhs

and yeah honestly I can’t blame poor Kim for taking it so badly, he’s still reeling from his grandfather’s assassination so it’s natural his emotions are not exactly Regulated atm

actually when are his emotions ever regulated

1703-1899 hm... might change that since the fic takes place in 1957-1960 so even though it’s a commissioned history of the empire it was before Gabriel was even born so like why would he even care lmao

“Great Western Ocean” so pretentious, just say the Atlantic omg

I’ve been playing way too much civ because the first thing that came to mind was that everyone’s denounced Agreste due to the high warmongering penalties of the industrial/modern eras

Chloé and Kim is one hell of a brotp okay I still firmly believe that

also Chloé still loves her rococo fashion, she’s just toned it down enough that she can fit through doors and it’s not quite as “in your face” towards commoners

listen I know in the show Kim still liked Chloé for a while after Dark Cupid but in this he got over her quicker because his crush on her wasn’t as deep in the first place

Kim literally tells Chloé he gave the brooch to Max and yet STILL doesn’t realize he likes him!!! KIM!!!!!!!!!!

Chlodemption arc yesssssssss

also she’s a lesbeean

(ye Pollen will be in the sequel don’t you worry)

god I’m so proud of her <3

it feels believable too, so I’m proud of myself!! (I’m trying to be nice to myself before next chapter where I will no doubt roast myself so badly I’ll never recover)

outdated laws about marriage... jeez was that cursed foreshadowing or what

YES IT’S IVAN, I LOVE THIS BOY, HE’S SO GRUMPY AND ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND HE HATES KIM

...actually wait this is sibling culture

I literally speak like this to my brother and he’s my best friend so in conclusion Ivan thinks of Kim as an annoying brother

Jalil why are you a historian. just go be a psychologist and stop your sister accidentally hecking up the country

omg the Antarctica thing, I’m just imagining Jalil in the freezing cold with a massive coat on and getting chased by penguins

I love how the timeline twin’s plan was “escape school, force Adrien to get a venomous pet, then abandon him immediately in the middle of nowhere” and later on it turns out she skipped step two and just ditched him lmaoooooo

being so ace that your brain goes straight to “death and murder” before anything else is the biggest mood, I speak from experience

Jalil knows... he had that conversation with Kim in chapter 20... he Knows

“a bit unsupportive” um that is an extreme understatement good grief he was more savage than ME

RISE OF THE KIMAX SHIPPERS

oh don’t worry the venom death still haunts me too

chapter I Hate You... “A rather rotten winter party” well it should have been named A RATHER ROTTEN CHAPTER DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPOSSIBLE THIS ONE WAS TO WRITE OMG I HATE WRITING MYSELF INTO CORNERS

you see I had to have a motive for the timeline twin to explain things properly so that I could put in a really really dumb pun later but that meant I had to unfortunately suffer many allergic reactions again

[future aish note: forgot to mention, i also needed a motive for kim to stop eating chocolate forever, so i had to Curse this chapter as a sacrifice in order to save his life later on]

alright, alright, here we go, I’ll stop procrastinating and just get this over with

oh yeah it’s chapters like these that the fic’s rated T lol

the Adrikim friendship is indeed important... for later... like, plot-relevant levels of important... life-saving levels...

“some event” is the Peace Ball actually and I can’t wait because that chapter’s actually a good one

KIM BRAGGING ABOUT KISSING ADRIEN LAST YEAR IS SO FUCKING FUNNY OH MY GOD I’M LOSING MY MIND???

like last year he was LITERALLY LIKE “oh boo hoo I cannot tell anyone about this because Adrien is Ã Bøyê” and now he’s just like “yeah I kissed a hot boy and what about it???”

to be fair he is on an extreme sugar rush from all the chocolate he ate, which will... be a plot point in just a moment...

PILLOW GIRLFRIEND

I’m the amused nobles, they are me

oh my god Kim we get it you want to kiss someone (Max) and you don’t want to outright say it

holy shit do any of these kids ever think before they speak??? not to sound like the timeline twin or anything but alix... you could have avoided this if you’d bothered to use your one (1) brain cell

[future aish note: bold of me to assume that alix has a brain cell]

Kim wants to now fight his PARALLEL SELF oh my god, get on my level Kim, I want to fight my actual self like right now so there

stfu all of you, this is poisoning my liver

Max is the biggest mood and at least mildly sensible thank god, but he really shouldn’t have left those two alone for even a second

I AGREE PLATONIC LOVE IS UNDERRATED

the chair... the fucking c h a i r... I’m already lying down but I need to lie down harder just to process the absurdity of this

(I think I was gonna have Alix fall off the chair just because that’s hilarious but I forgot)

look I can’t take heartrate seriously but if you ever write it then you are legally required to put in kissing contests or you’re doing it wrong

fudgin Adrienette kiss offscreen and irrelevant

DJWIFI!!! AND ACTUAL PROPER DJWIFI!!!! I was sick of seeing it treated as some kind of pair-the-spares beta couple so I flipped the script and had them literally call out that trope while treating Adrienette as irrelevant instead, which is also why the sequel will be extremely djwifi-centric

“super swanky bae” please stop misusing commoner slang I’m begging you

THERE’S THE PLOT POINT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

Theo was right here, he witnessed with his own eyes how much chocolate Kim ate, so he knows for a fact that if you give Kim chocolate he will scarf it down without a second thought... so hypothetically if one sent him poisoned chocolates... dyou see where I’m going with this...

oh and Theo still has like every job btw

Alya!!!! no!!!!! hire him again!!!!!!!! then he won’t send the chocolates!!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

there goes me hinting how alyadrininette is the ultimate ot4 again

...do I really wanna scroll down and keep going? no I don’t but I guess I gotta, and relive every one of my most embarrassing school sleepovers in the process

full offence to everyone bothering to read this but kissing sounds gross, actually

(for the record it was probably like... 10 seconds or something idk it was Not Long At All)

“probably not more than 5 minutes” omg I just said it was 10 seconds??? hmmm m okay like 20 seconds maaaybe, Kim just has no sense of time perception

neither do I based on my microwaving skills

SHIT THIS IS LITERALLY A SCHOOL SLEEPOVER

INNOCENT DUMBASS AROACE ASKING “what does that mean? what’s this? what’s that? it’s okay you can tell me :-)”

omg I forgot the snake was there ahshdhdkshfs I’m the snake, probably wants to launch itself out of the window so big mood

most of the fic so far had Alix being really aro so I was like damn... gotta make her really ace too

(if I ever bother writing the Kimdine AU then you actually get an aro character who isn’t ace, because we need more of them, but I won’t say who) (okay fine it’s Luka)

I tend not to be too British in my writing so as not to give the Americans heart attacks whenever they see someone referring to their mother as “mum” etc, but like... sometimes you just gotta throw in the word “snogging”

(I’m typing this out on my phone rn and it has exactly 69% battery, I hate this and also hate that I felt the need to mention that)

THE HOCKEY THING MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN BASED OFF A REAL LIFE THING. *SWEATS NERVOUSLY*

honestly I was soooooo tempted to actually write The Talk bit, it would have been the funniest thing ever, but I was also 99% sure I would have to change the rating to M (despite it not even remotely being smut lol, just a regular biology lesson) and there was no way I was doing that, pretty sure I pushed the T rating at some points as it is

[future aish: god i am still so tempted to write it. man, i’m tempted. it would be the funniest thing. but no... i have sworn not to write anything above a T rating so guess i won’t.]

YEAH THE THROWING UP THING TOO WAS DEFINITELY NOT BASED ON REAL LIFE OR ANYTHING *MORE NERVOUS SWEATING*

(it genuinely wasn’t a flowerpot though. it’s my life’s goal to throw up in a flowerpot and I still haven’t achieved it.)

all of this is an Ace Mood(TM)

also I love how elaborately I’ve worded this, like yeah idiot royal teenagers are too royal and posh to ever bother just saying the word “sex” like a normal person

to any 17 year old aces: you aren’t too young to know, I told myself that aggressively when I was 17 but now I’m 22 and I’m still just as ace as I always was sooooo yeah

I also hope I can wake up tomorrow and forget I read this trash

well tbh... it’s not total trash... it highkey reminds me of my school days, like, maybe that was subconscious or something... god who even knows

jeez if timeline twin slapped me in the face I’d just keel over and die from sheer terror, other than that that’s HILARIOUS

timeline twin: “YOU HAVE ONE (1) BRAIN CELL NOW P L E A S E CONSIDER USING IT”

fuckeninf hell listen,,, so when I was writing this chapter I didn’t know I was aro... I mean, I was kinda questioning it?? but all I knew was I was ace, and that me not knowing that as a teenager almost totally screwed me over because like

to be normal or to feel normal there’s things you do or say that you don’t want, and things you know would happen or whether you want something or not you’ll take it because you think you’re expected to, because otherwise you’ll have to confront yourself with the fact that something is wrong with you and you don’t know what or why or how to fix it

and being aro on top of that is misunderstanding how to navigate close friendships because of this fundamental fear that if you want to be close with someone then friendship can’t suffice, that how much you care about them doesn’t matter

and things I did or almost did, or had the chance to do and only stopped because (awfully enough) crippling anxiety which ironically saved me (let’s just say the dude turned out to be a creep)... yeah basically this is all a callback to that aroace teenager feel where you can’t help not being true to yourself because you don’t want to, because you don’t know what’s wrong or right, only what’s “normal” and the ache of knowing that you’re not, no matter how much you try

and I didn’t know I was aro while writing this but in hindsight it’s easy to see how that played into it too, and writing this definitely played a part in me realizing I’m aro and was somehow trying to work through some very pent-up feelings about friendship and closeness with people, as well as pent-up feelings about being ace and how that tied into everything too

...in short, do not phuck the pharaoh or you will get HOUSE ARRESTED and DIE

(jk jk she’ll just be awkward around you forever lol, and then SHE’LL get house arrested and die, because you’re not commoners so your actions actually have consequences you dumb idiots)

this entire thing is just a whole mood and lowkey my teenage years holy fuck holy fuck I hate that I’m only just realizing how bloody hard I was projecting

I literally read a post the other day about how unrequited love is only ever usually explored from the perspective of the person who’s in love, whereas aros are usually on the receiving end of it and it’s a tragedy in its own right that you might do things that wind up driving you apart because you can’t bring yourself to love them back but you can’t tell them because of the fear that it’ll push them away... and I gotta say, I totally nailed it 💪

...you know what I’ve changed my mind, chapter 34 is good actually, and now I need to make a time machine and go and hug my 17 year old self for living this, and then hug my 20 year old self for writing this, I’m sorry I was mean to this chapter it’s very relatable and I shouldn’t keep beating myself up over it

thinking makes me miserable too!! that’s why it’s optimistic nihilism only lads

impulse control, hmmm... someone who’s good for him, hmmmmmm... it’s almost like someone like that is right there and exists and is already in love with him 😏

so apparently timeline twin’s idea of “fixing her life” is burning all her bridges and then hecking off to the Kazakh wilderness for over a year

did Alix just... ask the snake if it’s aroace too???

I mean it definitely is, but...

UGH SNAKES DON’T BLINK, I’M STILL SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS

chapter 35, thank god, the title “Finally!” is very apt

(because I can finally change the music from Death Valley to something else lol)

oh poor Max, his heart goes on a real rollercoaster these few chapters doesn’t it? it’s okay buddy, in like 10 chapters you’ll get your man...

NO BUT SHE H A S FIGURED IT OUT!!! SORT OF!!!

I just misread “despite” as “despacito”, I’m going to bed and continuing this tomorrow dammit

alright I am now funky refreshed and ready to roll, let’s get this kimax party started

Max is angsting internally like “no one’s realized I like Kim :( well except Juleka but she’s a lesbian so she doesn’t count” ashgdjsghskk that mlm/wlw solidarity is holding out I see

YES ALIX YOU DO NEED TO TALK TO NATH MORE, THAT’S YOUR FREAKING BEST BUD IN THE SHOW MAY I REMIND YOU

this is all so Irony it’s murdering me dead

okay yeah I’m gonna be really honest and salty here for a second, this bit where Max is annoyed that Alix takes Nath more seriously as a contender than him was me being a bit salty over the fact that like... kimnath/tomato ketchup is a great rarepair but got so weirdly popular amongst people who didn’t seem to care about Max as a character at all despite how close he is with Kim in canon, and as a Max Stan it made me sad because he’s already not very appreciated in fandom

[future aish note: HE IS NOW BABEY!]

THERE IT IS

I WANT TO HUG MAX TOO, BLESS HIM

I also want to hug Alix because godddds I’ve been in that situation where if you were allowed to just TELL the idiots that they like each other then all their problems would be solved but noooo, you’re sworn to secrecy... *sigh*

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t change, ever...” me: *thinks about the sequel and cackles evilly while cracking my knuckles* well,,

A R O M A N T I C

listen it was VERY IMPORTANT to me that I actually put in all these actual words in the fic and made them relevant, like gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc (I think the only one I didn’t was trans, oops?? gotta remember that for the sequel, at least Nino IS trans in this even though I never said the word)

[future aish note: i feel like i didn’t say pan either, or nonbinary... more stuff for the sequel folks! i can’t put in everything but i may as well try!]

bc you see all these tv shows where a character is bi but they say they “don’t like labels” or a character with no love interest get suddenly paired up with someone random at the end... like NO I wanted to do the OPPOSITE of that bc people’s identities are IMPORTANT so I wanted to MAKE IT RELEVANT 💪

and even though I didn’t yet know here that I was aro and highkey projecting, there’s already a fair few fics dealing with asexuality but not aromanticism?? so I rly wanted to make the aro side of things important

almost relieved??? Max, you buffoon, she IS relieved, extremely

Malix friendship is good and severely underrated and I still haven’t forgiven myself for not putting more of it in this

“He was never eating chocolate again” HO-HO-HOLY SHIT THAT’S SOME FORESHADOWING RIGHT THERE

Rose is a distinguished bi who doesn’t realize Kim is a disaster bi

Kim oh my god you can’t just out Adrien “just about functional bi” Agreste like that

I love that Rose calls Kim a casanova even though he’s very much not... how many people are even into him over the course of the fic? Max, Adrien, it’s implied Marinette used to be, Lila is ambiguous, same with the lacrosse guy later, oh yeah Ondine highkey lmao along with 90% of the teenage population of Saharan Africa, Kim himself in about 2 chapters time...

Rose giving Kim the gay talk is so blessed omg I need more interaction between these two

“If you swung one way you were gay, if you swung the other way you were straight, more than one way made you bisexual, if you didn’t swing any way at all then you were probably just Alix...” I will literally NEVER be able to outdo this line, this is Peak

hmm I don’t think at any point in the fic Max says to Kim that he’s exclusively into boys... I guess he said it offscreen then lol, point is He’s Gay

OMG KIM, YOU FINALLY REALIZED WHAT THE NOSEBLEED SCENE MEANT, GOD BLESS YOU

this is like in Syren when he realizes the mermaid is Ondine and that she was trying to tell him she likes him... except this is the gay version of that

yeah Rose I really do need to get more sleep, that one was directed at me and I know it was

Kim being all like “fellas is it gay if you take off your shirt and a guy swoons at you 🤔🤔🤔”

no, no... Max is definitely a complete trainwreck at romance, just slightly less than you

god freaking dammit not the sports bra again,,, I s2g later in the fic all Ondine would have had to do is to show up in a sports bra and Kim would immediately go full ot3 mode no questions asked,,,,,,,, (I mean he does see her in a swimsuit but that’s not the same??? sports bras are in a different league okay shush)

psssssst!!! you should read heartbroken!!!! it’s a kimax fic and it’s so good!!!!! this was a lowkey shoutout!!!!!!!!

genuinely tho, even if Kim hadn’t liked Max too here, he’s being so sweet about it?? he’s worried about his poor friend’s emotional state and wishes he could have done better to help!! gahhhh their friendship/relationship is just So Blessèd

hsndhkdhdkshdh I only noticed it after finishing the fic and occasionally skimming back through, but so much of the time whenever Alix shows up Kim’s all like *ungrateful* “oh not you again” like WOW that’s one way to greet your friend?? mood tho

[future aish note: i did the exact opposite in No Romo, funnily enough! kim’s not in it much but whenever he sees alix he’s like “friend!!! friend!!!!!” and she’s just like -_- “oh it’s that guy again”]

he’s not even paying attention to her omg she’s trying to save the timeline here you idiot

POOR ALIX how frustrating,,, and also I’ve literally been there,,, the woes of being a wing-girl indeed

and now Kim wants to fight himself, why am I not surprised

aND YES HERE’S WHERE IT HITS HIM, THE EXACT FUCKING MOMENT

WHERE HE’S SUDDENLY LIKE “OH WAIT MAX’S LOVE FOR ME ISN’T UNREQUITED??? I LIKE HIM TOO HOLY SHIT????”

aaaaaaand he immediately asks the aro for love advice, why is he like this omg

gosh this is sooooo sweeeeeet

I did not let up, did I? just went ahead and made this as cheesy and cutesy and over the top as I could because It’s What Kimax Deserves

(there wasn’t rly much Kimax content yet in the fandom at this point so I had total free reign and went all-out with it)

sfjsgskdhs and there goes Alix getting her wing-efforts sidelined again

“I’m never asking out someone on a whim again. Or, uh, confessing that I like someone on a whim either.” so uh... you know how I said I’m considering making the sequel Kimaxdine? well if I do then uh. hm. this might change. because reasons.

I don’t know why I made nothing Alix ever says make sense but I’m glad I did because she’s so freaking funny

I swear I talk about Max’s eyes being “magnified in his glasses” multiple times in this fic, either that or I’m having serious deja vu

Kim’s so cute dammit!!! now that he knows he likes Max he’s just swooning over every little thing and it’s!!!! adorable!!!!!

(I wonder if this is how it was with Kimdine in the show? it does seem like Kim already liked her but just hadn’t noticed...)

huehuehuehue Kim later on you do indeed recklessly propose to Max on the spot... in like 18 chapters or so

also the fact that Kim thinks things through better when he’s around Max is just the total sweetest and also what Alix was basically trying to aim for

I love Kim showing off that he can pack all his stuff in half an hour like buddy, the porters can literally help you with that, you’re royalty remember

omg I’d forgotten I left a note here later for binge-readers!! being all like “drink water and eat food and go to sleep uwu”

lmao guess I’ll take my own advice then and leave it there for now

[future aish note: same, goodnight]

#smalluns proceed with caution. it's T rated remember #it's not dodgy though. just evil and cursed #anyway i'm going to sleep now for like 12 hours #random stuff #misadventures #if you're on the mobile app and the keep reading glitches and you have to scroll then i'm sorry #this is under a cut on desktop i promise

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