#can’t relate

[littledollll]

Y/n: “Im sad..”

Larissa: “wanna go to McDonald’s?”

Y/n:

Y/n: “…yes actually.”

[dobbiamo-capire]

What do you mean… it already ended???? At 23.12???

At Sanremo at this time there would have been 6 songs, 26 dramas, 40 ten-minutes commercials and we were like “still 4 hours to go”

[crinkle-eyed-boo]

[turnthegrandfatherclockto1047]

The professional Lego building community wants me dead for calling multiple Legos legos. And also my various crimes.

[cryoverlife]

does anyone just FORGET that Dex is tall, because I do. He gives of such short vibes(average hight) and the. I see a fanfic of fanart and he’s taller then everyone else and then I remember.

It’s even worse becuase I ship Fitz and Dex and I keep imaging Fitz being taller the Dex before I need to give my self a reality check and am like “oh wait dex is the tall one.”

[sailor-sumi]

sometimes i feel like content of derek suarez is scarce so *cracks knuckles* guess i have to do it myself 💥💥

i super love him 🧡💚

@gb-patch

[alarrylarrie]

Hey so uh. You could ask him about the stag. You could ask him what music he’s listening to right now. You could ask him if he has his Christmas shopping done. You could ask him if he binge-watched anything while he was recovering. Just in case you need ideas of what you could ask… instead of… other things…

[miserable-tragedy]

wonder what it’s like to have someone actually love and care about you and never want to lose you

[eastleune]

i hate the argument against one piece that’s like “a good show shouldn’t need 1,000+ episodes to get good”. you’re gonna make me rip my skin off. why the fuck would one piece fans waste 25 years of their life waiting to “get to the good part”? one piece isn’t 1,000 episodes because it needs to time to get good, it’s 1,000 episodes because it’s simply a long story: it’s a journey, an adventure.

in the same breath, one of the most fantastic things about op being 1,000 episodes is that, in all that time, it hasn’t run itself into the ground. it just continues to get better and better.

[scuderiahoney]

nobody's 'hear me out' is worse than mine i can guarantee, like even i'm ashamed of it

Jos MF Verstappen

i hate him, like i genuinely hate him but when he was young...

…….. bestie idk how to respond to this honestly

[gulski2]

I wonder what it’s like to like a tv show as a normie.

Anyway, here’s a meme dump

[manyblinkinglights]

queer slur discourse has taught me that posts about “ADHDers” simply are neither for nor about me… some other group of people

[wendytestabrat]

imagine being this stupid

i know a joke isn’t funny anymore when you have to explain it but

[cryley]

source: My Old Man: Tales of Our Fathers by Ted Kessler

MY DAD HAS BEEN FAMOUS LONGER THAN I’VE BEEN ALIVE Tim Healy by Matthew Healy

My name is Matthew Timothy Healy. I was born naked in north London in April 1989. I am told it was quite warm - which has been the case for most of my birthdays. I am an adult now, semi-clothed. My father spent those early years of my life working between England and Australia - back-to-back winters that had deprived him of the sun for almost four years. He told me he remembers my birthday being a bright and memorable time, golden-hued. He currently lives in the house in which I spent most of my childhood. In some ways it exists as a shrine to what once was - our family and what has been achieved. It is a feeling that is comforting and unsettling in equal measure. 

My dad, at five foot seven, a baby-turned-milkboy-turned-welder-turned-comic-turned-actor, was born in the early 1950s to parents Malcolm and Sadie, in Birtley, Newcastle upon Tyne. He lived modestly up north, as a youngster and as a young man, with his brother, John, and their dog, Smartie (a dog that would later come to head-butt my dad in a moment of jestful play, resulting in him losing his bottom row of teeth. John once threw my dad over a wall, with the assumption that the drop on the other side was of equal height to that which he’d just hoisted his little brother over. It wasn’t. He landed right on his head and has had to wear glasses ever since).

He would work between various factories during the day and at night he would pursue his dream of becoming a stand-up comedian. He is a very funny man, my dad, whose charm and passion is articulated through his comedy, and his face exudes a type of warmth that one would expect from a northern English comedic actor. He laughs like Muttley off Wacky Races and whistles inane tunes that have never been heard before, for good reason. 

My dad has been famous longer than I’ve been alive. He was at the height of his fame just before I was born, during Auf Wiedersehen, Pet. My parents being famous was always part of my reality: there are photos of their wedding with a crowd of a thousand people outside looking in, which is what their life has been like. I know nothing different, and it bled into the way I saw myself. My dad was a rags-to-riches character, so as soon as he saw a stem of creativity in me, he knew the importance of nurturing it so that I gained a sense of self. Me being creative was always emotionally, financially endorsed by my dad. 

‘You’re John Lennon,’ he’s say, from the time I was six. He expected me to be a rock star, not in a superficial sense, but A Rock Star. Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits and Brian Johnson from AC/DC would occasionally come around to our house when I was growing up so it always seemed tangible. Rock stars walked among us. Welders, too. Dad has a dichotomy between being a working-class manual worker and a bohemian actor. I remember watching a Michael Jackson video with some of his welder mates when I was a kid and them saying he was from another planet. I thought, Yeah. My planet. 

My parents always taught me that you get the good with the bad. So, if you want to live in a nice house and have nice holidays, then maybe Hello! Might have to come around your nice house or go on your nice holiday to take photos for their magazine. The Daily Mail and the Mirror went in a bit hard on my mum for a while, which was difficult for my dad as he’s not from the tabloid world that comes with being behind the bar at the Rovers Return. He had to deal with a wife who was clinically depressed, being hounded by the tabloids. What does he do to look after his wife? We got through it. And there’s stuff that people don’t know. We found a lot of security in that, knowing that they only knew so much. 

I thought about this a lot when my band was breaking. My mum is on Loose Women. That’s not credible, that’s not cool. My dad is a credible actor but he’s well known too. Am I going to be perceived as an ITV boy-band thing? In the end I had to get over it. You can’t judge musicians by what their parents do. It isn’t going to work. 

There are two things he always said to me, and always after a drink: ‘Be who you want to be.’ And ‘It���s in yer fucking bones, man!’ He empowered me. He acted in awe of me. Not in a sycophantic way, but as if I didn’t need his advice. If I had conviction, it would see me through - and that really rang true. Because I had a middle-class family I could get to twenty years old and still be working it out with the band. 

I didn’t go to university. I worked in a Chinese restaurant, which stressed my mum out. ‘Is this band thing really going to become something?’ she’d ask. 

My dad never questioned it. ‘Leave him alone, man, he’s fucking John Lennon, man.’ He believed in me unquestioningly from the moment I wrote a song called ‘ Robbers’ when I was eighteen. He bought us our first van. He converted the garage into a rehearsal space. His overt passion for us is instilled in our band. When our album went platinum all of the band made sure he got a disc. He’s the band’s dad. 

The character he plays in Benidorm, who rides around on roller skates with a wig on and big boobs, is probably the one he sees the most of himself in. He told me he based it on a combination of Les Dawson and Tommy Cooper, which is my dad incarnate. If people ask me to describe my dad I say, ‘Combine those two. That’s him.’ The slapstick he plays is quite like his real persona. He’s a very, very good actor. It’s not strange to see my dad put on a wig and be someone completely different. When it looks and feels like my dad but there’s something else going on, that’s when it throws me. It’s the subtlety of my dad in the midst of a great performance that can really mess me up. If you’re involved in the physique and the aura and the knowledge of who that person is, when the minutiae of it change it’s quite alarming.

I steal a lot of lighters, which is something coincidentally I’ve stolen from my dad. We’ve stolen everybody’s lighter we’ve ever come into contact with. Superficially, I think I’m more like my mother. I’m quite erratic. I’m passionate and emotionally driven, whereas my dad is more subdued about those things. I think what I’ve got from my dad is my fear of not being proud of myself. Those are the times I’ve seen him at his lowest, when he regrets something he could’ve done, mainly from a creative perspective. I’ve seen him cut himself up over things that I wouldn’t have imagined he’d find that relevant or important. And then I find myself doing the same over a vocal take, or some small detail in a recording, and that’s when I feel him inside me. That’s when I know who I am. 

Matthew Healy is the singer and guitarist with the 1975.

[jedifighterpilot2727]

I explained to my straight friend that I think I identify as a lesbian instead of bisexual and her first question was

“Ok, but do you think you would enjoy having sex with a girl?”

And immediately my brain goes to my 30k word wlw smut fic, but out loud I’m just like

“I mean yeah? Yeah. Sure. Who wouldn’t?”

Like I haven’t put hundreds of hours of thought into it.