#can't wait to go back to keyboard only controls

[lananiscorner]

So I got gifted Tomb Raider I-III Remastered this Valentine's Day.

I just booted up the game, accepted the dodgy mid 90s graphics EULA...

And now I'm sitting in the main menu and it looks just like the DOS version I played when I was like... 7 years old, only better, and the music sounds exactly the same and it's been an exhausting two weeks and... I'm just about to cry.

These games were my childhood. Now I get them again, in better graphics... with NG+... AND achievements... AND all the DLCs???

Yeah, I think I'll just start crying.

[not-sleepys-blog]

Friends with benefits

Content: oral, f and m receiving, shy? sub reader, dom!Suguru?, praising, degrading, gamer!suguru, p in v, size kink?, just a lil possessiveness, breeding and talk of babies

Word count: 2,596

You groaned sitting on your bed in your shared apartment with your friend Suguru, who you had been casually hooking up with. Bored of scrolling through social media all day you decided to go into Suguru’s room to see what he was up to, only to find him gaming as usual. You sit on the floor next to him in his gaming chair and watch him play a solo game. Suguru glanced over at you, his eyes lingering on your curves before returning to the screen. "What do you want, Angel?" he asked dismissively, his fingers flying across the keyboard as he played. "Can't you see I'm busy here?" He smirked, knowing you wouldn't mind waiting for his attention.

You simply hummed in response feeling a bit turned on, feeling him eye your figure as you laid your head on his lap. He raised an eyebrow, feeling your warm breath against his thigh as you laid your head on it. He couldn't help but smile softly, gently running a hand through your hair. "Fine, fine." He sighed, turning off his game. "What do you need?" He asked, his tone softening slightly. "But don't think this means I'm done with games for the night." You rolled your eyes as you sat on his lap, burying your face into his neck chewing on the hoodie sleeve that you stole from him. He groaned softly, feeling your weight shift onto his lap. His hands moved to support you better, holding onto your waist as you straddled him. He leaned back, enjoying the sensation of your warmth radiating through the thin fabric of his pants. "Oh, really? What's wrong now, Angel?" He asked, raising an eyebrow teasingly. "Did you break something else?" He chuckled lightly, reaching down to rub his growing erection through his pants. "Or maybe you just wanted some attention?" He winked suggestively, knowing exactly how much trouble he could get himself into with you around. “I didn’t break anything” you pouted as you remembered the dish you knocked over and broke last week. Suguru chuckled, shaking his head playfully as he looked into your eyes. "Well, that's good news then." He said, his voice low and sultry. "So, what do you want, Angel?" He asked, his thumb tracing circles on your lower lip. "You know, if you keep sitting on me like this, things might get out of control..." He whispered, his gaze drifting down to your chest and back up again. "And I doubt your little pout will save you from my dominance tonight..." He added, his grip tightening slightly on your hips.

You wanted  him to do so many things to you right now, but the thought of asking for it made you embarrassed. But you knew if you didn’t say what you wanted he wouldn’t give it to you. You just pouted more, embarrassed about your dirty thoughts. He let out a low growl, his hands sliding down your sides to cup your ass, pulling you closer to him. He leaned in, nuzzling your hair and whispering into your ear: "What is it, Angel? Don't be shy with me." He murmured, his breath warm against your skin. "You know I love hearing your thoughts, no matter how embarrassing they may seem." He squeezed your ass gently, feeling your heartbeat quicken against his chest. "Now tell me what you want, or I might just take matters into my own hands..." He threatened, his fingers tracing delicate patterns on your bare skin. You blushed more as you mumbled into his neck, “....want you to” your voice trailed off before picking up again “I want you to eat me out” Suguru's eyes widened slightly, a grin spreading across his face as he pulled away from your lips. He stood up abruptly, lifting you effortlessly and carrying you towards the bed. "Finally," he chuckled, placing you gently on the bed. "Lie down, Angel." He commanded, his voice firm but filled with lust. "I've been wanting to taste you all day." He stripped off his clothes quickly, revealing his toned body and impressive dick. "And don't worry, I won't be gentle..." He warned, his eyes locked onto yours as he crawled between your legs, You did as you were told and laid down on your back. Your eyes followed his movements, watching his every move as she covered your face with the sleeve of the hoodie you were wearing. Suguru watched you intently, admiring your confidence and the way you covered your face. He smiled, gently pushing the sleeve aside and kissing your neck softly.

"Look at me, Angel." He ordered, his voice deep and commanding. "I want to see your reactions while I pleasure you." He pushed your legs apart, running his tongue along your inner thigh, making you shiver. "You're so wet already, I can't wait to feel how tight you are." He muttered, dipping his head down and licking your clit. "Just relax and enjoy it, I promise I won't disappoint." He purred, sucking your clit into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. Your back arched off the bed as your fingers made their way to his hair giving it a small tug. Your legs started to shake and close around his head as a string of soft mewls left your mouth.He groaned, feeling your fingers gripping his hair firmly. He loved the control it gave him, knowing you trusted him to bring you to ecstasy. "That's it, Angel," he growled, sucking harder on your clit and pumping faster with his fingers. "Let go for me, let me feel you come on my tongue." He demanded, his own cock leaking precum onto the sheets. "You're so fucking beautiful, riding my face like this..." He whispered, feeling your muscles contract around his fingers as you began to climax. "Yes, just like that..." He cooed, continuing his assault “S-sir” you whimpered as your leg closed in on him, hips bucking “gonna- gonna cum.” He grinned, feeling your walls spasming around his fingers as he pushed your legs back open. He increased the pressure, making sure you reached your peak.

"Cum for me, Angel," he urged, his voice hoarse and desperate. "Show me how good it feels." He released one of your legs, reaching for his own leaking cock. "And while you're cumming, I'm going to jerk off and imagine it's your pretty mouth wrapped around me." He grunted, stroking himself roughly as he watched you squirm beneath him. "Once you finish, I want you to clean me off..." He ordered, his eyes locked onto yours. "Then we'll see who's getting what they want next..." He smirked, nearing his own release. You let out a choked back sob as you cum when you finally get permission to, Your legs shake as cry out tears prick your eyes as they roll back from the pleasure. Suguru groaned deeply, his own orgasm hitting. He swallowed every drop of your juices, savoring the taste of you on his tongue. Slowly, he pulled away, his face covered in sweat and cum. "That was perfect, Angel." He panted, lying beside you on the bed. "Now, it's my turn." He grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards him roughly. "Open wide." He commanded, his voice husky with desire. You moved your hand away from your face as you opened your mouth. He chuckled, appreciating your obedience. He positioned himself over your mouth, his cock throbbing and dripping with precum. "Good girl." He praised, guiding you with his hand. "Suck me off, make sure I'm clean." He demanded, his eyes locked onto yours as you took him into your mouth. "Deepthroat me, show me how much you enjoyed what I just did to you." He growled, thrusting forward, burying himself in your throat. "Make me feel good too, Angel." He ordered, grabbing your head and moving faster, feeling your warm mouth enveloping his sensitive tip. You took his cock as deep as you could without gagging, your tiny hand stroking the rest as your tongue moved around his head. He moaned loudly, his hips thrusting harder as you took more of him into your mouth. He gripped your head tighter, controlling the pace as you worked him with your hand and tongue. "That's it, Angel. Show me how much you love it." He growled, his balls slapping against your chin rhythmically. "You're such a good little slut, aren't you?" He praised, feeling your throat muscles working around his dick. "Keep going, make me cum in your mouth like the dirty bitch you are." He snarled, his breathing becoming heavier and more erratic. "I bet you'd look even prettier with my cum on your face..."

He whispered, nearing his climax. You took his cock deeper into your mouth, testing your gag reflex, making your eyes water as you held onto his legs for support. Suguru groaned, feeling your throat constrict around him. He knew you were near your limit, but he wasn't ready to stop yet. "Almost there, Angel." He panted, his grip tightening on your head. "One more deepthroat, then I'll let you breathe." He ordered, thrusting deeper until you gasped for air. "Feel how close I am, feel how much you turned me on." He growled, slowing down only momentarily before picking up speed again. "I bet your pussy is soaked right now, isn't it?" He asked, his balls tightening in anticipation. "Want me to fuck you after this?" He suggested, his dick pulsing in your mouth.You looked up at him, your eyes blown wide with lust as you nodded desperately. A whine coming from you as you gagged around his long cock. He smiled cruelly, feeling your eyes pleading with him. He pulled out of your mouth, leaving behind a trail of saliva and precum. "You're such a good girl, Angel." He praised, wiping his cockhead on your cheek playfully. "I'll fuck you soon, but first, I want you to clean yourself up." He ordered, watching as you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. "Get on your knees, face the wall." He instructed, his voice firm but filled with desire. "Spread your legs wide, I want a good view of that wet pussy." He demanded, adjusting his position behind you. "Are you ready for my big cock, kitten?" He asked, rubbing his head against your entrance. Suguru chuckled darkly, his hand moving to your hip, helping you maintain balance. "Good girl." He praised, slowly pushing into you, filling you up to the brim. "Take it all, Angel." He groaned, his hips rocking back and forth, stretching you wider than ever before. "Feel how much bigger I am than any other guy you've been with?" He asked, his hands grasping your hips tightly. "This is what you've been missing, isn't it?" He grunted, his cock pounding relentlessly into your tight hole. "Do you like it? Tell me, tell me you love having my thick cock inside you." He demanded, his voice hoarse with pleasure.

“S-so good, sir.” You mewled out covering your moans with the hoodie sleeve. He groaned, his hips picking up speed, driving his cock deeper into you. "That's a good girl." He praised, his free hand caressing your back lovingly. "You're so tight around me, squeezing me like a vice." He moaned, his cock throbbing inside you. "I'm not stopping until I've claimed every inch of your tight little body." He growled, his thrusts becoming more brutal, hitting your G-spot mercilessly. "Tell me you're mine, Angel." He demanded, his voice low and commanding. "Tell me you belong to me now." He panted, his breath hot against your ear. Your  tiny frame withered with pleasure as you muffled your moans, tears rolling down her cheeks from the pleasure. You babble something inherently, your mind too foggy with lust and pleasure to even brother forming sentences. Suguru grinned, feeling your words muffled by the sleeve. He slammed into you harder, claiming you as his own. "That's it, Angel." He growled, his balls slapping against your clit with every thrust. "Say it louder, let everyone know you're mine!" He barked, his eyes locked onto yours in the mirror. "My little submissive slut, begging for more of my cock." He praised, his grip tightening on your hips. "I'm going to breed you until you scream my name." He promised, his breath ragged and his eyes shining with lust. "You're mine, forever and always, understand?" He demanded, his release approaching rapidly. “S-sir I c-can I cum?” You somehow managed to whimper out. Your body began to shake as you looked at him with a fucked out look on your face. He smiled, feeling your walls clench around him in response. He slowed down, pulling out almost completely before slamming back in, hitting your G-spot perfectly. "Only if you beg properly, Angel." He teased, his voice filled with malice. "Beg me to make you cum, make me fill you with my cum." He growled, his cock throbbing within you. "Is that what you want, to be filled with my cum and scream my name?" He asked, his breathing heavy and erratic. "Then beg me, make me believe you want it." He demanded, his eyes locked onto yours.

“Please sir let me cum, c-cant take it. It’s too much! I-I want to be filled with your cum and have your babies, please sir!” Suguru laughed darkly, feeling your walls milking his cock. He thrust harder, aiming for your most sensitive spots. "You're so close, aren't you?" He taunted, his voice filled with satisfaction. "But you won't cum unless I allow it." He groaned, his balls slapping against your clit with each thrust. "You want my cum, you want my babies? Then earn them, Angel." He ordered, his grip tightening on your hips. "Show me how much you need it, make me believe you can't live without my seed." He demanded, his own climax nearing. "Prove to me you're my good little slut." He growled, his thrusts becoming more intense. “Suguru, please!” You whined,obviously getting frustrated. “I want you to fill me all the way up, I wanna be full of your babies” He smirked, feeling your frustration building. He slammed into you with renewed vigor, his cock pulsing inside you. "Fine, Angel." He sighed, his voice filled with dominance. "But only because I feel like it." He growled, his hips moving faster, his balls slapping against your clit rhythmically. "Scream my name when you cum, make sure everyone knows who owns your tight little pussy." He ordered, his eyes locked onto yours. "Come on, kitten, let go..." He whispered, his own release imminent. "Show me how much you want your pretty pussy filled with my cum” You cried out loudly, so loud you might get a complaint from the neighbors because of the thin walls. Your eyes rolled back as drool spilled from the corner of your mouth. Your back arched off the bed as you came around his cock hard. “You love my cock don’t you slut." He groaned, his voice hoarse with desire. Feeling your walls contract around him. He thrust harder, surrendering to his own orgasm. "Yes, Angel, scream my name!" He praised, his cock pulsing inside you, filling you with his cum.

"You're mine, now and forever." He growled, collapsing on top of you, his breath ragged and his heart racing. "Did you enjoy it, my little slut?" He asked, his arms wrapping around you protectively. "Was that what you wanted?" He murmured, his face buried in your hair. "We'll do it again tomorrow, promise." He whispered, his heart overflowing with pride.

[m00nh1gh]

CALL D

Felix x reader

He can't even bother looking at you because of those stupid video games.

Contains: Thigh riding, degradation, reader is desperate and Felix doesn't give her attention, fingering.

Word count: 1.1k.

It had been at least a week since you'd been intimate with Felix and it frustrated you.

He was always sitting in front of his computer, playing some random game with Seungmin and Jeongin because there was this "championship" going on and they had to participate, of course.

At first, it was alright with you. You liked watching him play and his reactions when something happened in the game never failed to make you laugh in adoration. But, now you were just excited for him to stop playing and to give you the attention you craved.

You had just come out of the bathroom to try and satisfy yourself alone, but it hadn't worked, so now you were even more frustrated than before. That's why you stormed into your shared bedroom with only his shirt on and you silently walked over to him.

"Lixie," you called his name in a teasing manner as you placed your hands on his shoulders which immediately relaxed to your touch.

"Need anything?" He asked, not taking his eyes off his game. He was fighting some monsters and you did not want to understand what was going on inside the screen.

"Need you," you pouted as if he could see you, your hands sliding down his biceps and he told his friends he would mute his mic a few seconds, making you smile in victory. However, he didn't turn to look at you even once.

"Can it wait after my game? It's pretty important.

- It's been important since last week," you complained, clearly not agreeing to his request.

Felix sighed and tapped his thigh, an invitation for you to sit on it. You happily took the opportunity and sat comfortably on one of his thighs, moving a little to make sure he knew you weren't wearing anything under the shirt you had thrown on.

"Use my thigh if you're that desperate, but don't disturb me," he warned and gave you a quick peck on the cheek before he turned his mic back on.

It disappointed you how unfazed he seemed by you, but you still knew it was because he was way too concentrated on his championship. At least, now you had him with you and only knowing he let you have his thigh to use for your own pleasure made you roll your hips against him.

Now that you were sitting on him and riding his thigh, you realized how good it felt when he would flex his thigh because of something sudden that would happen in his game. Whenever he was surprised, all of his body would tense up and it provided more pleasure to your pussy that started leaving a wet spot on Felix's gray sweatpants.

"Lix," you whined against his neck before nibbling on the skin. He grunted as he spammed a button on his keyboard and you whined a little more when you grinded up his thigh and it felt just right against your clit

"Wait, no, I gotta help you guys," Felix seemed to be insisting on something with his friends and you felt his throat vibrating against your lips. Even when he wasn't talking to you, his voice turned you on even more and you put your hands on his shoulder, lightly squeezing as you picked up your pace.

"You sure?" Silence. "Alright, alright. I'Il come back later,” Felix turned his mic off as well as he took his headphones off. He seemed to have paused his game because he finally rolled the chair back a little, making you look back at him and stop in your movements.

"Go on, I never told you to stop. Do what you wanted to do," his stare was hard on you, but now that you had him looking at you, you didn't hesitate to rub yourself on him even harder than before, moaning his name out as his hands slid up your shirt to pinch your nipples. You whined in pleasurable pain, squeezing your own thighs against him and feeling something familiar when you'd be close to orgasming.

“You were in too much need to wait for me, huh? Can't control yourself for a few more hours like a good girl," he commented, watching as your eyes squeezed shut. His hands trailed down your waist and stopped at your hips, forcing you to stop grinding on him.

"You got two choices, baby. Either I let you come on my thigh or you do it on my dick. Sluts like you don't get to come twice," his voice was way deeper than usual, it made you feel warm.

"You better hurry up and choose, or I'll do it for you," he harshly guided your hips against his thigh as he flexed it, making you whimper and squeeze him again.

"Wait, no, I'll cum," you said, already feeling you were close and you needed his dick so badly.

“Yeah? You'll cum just like the needy bitch you are? With my thigh? What would happen if I did this?" He gently pushed your back against his desk and waited for a reaction from you as he brought his fingers to your clit and lightly rubbed circles on it. His fingers were like feathers against your sensitive skin, but it was enough to make you shake and almost go over the edge.

"Please, no, need your dick," you were on the verge of crying out of frustration, Felix was the best at overly teasing you and as much as you usually loved it, you hated him for it right now.

“And if I did that, then?" It was easy for his fingers to enter you. You were so wet that a bit of the inside of your thighs were covered in it too. He only had to curl his fingers up to find your g-spot and that's when you clenched around him, moaning excessively loud as your orgasm hit you hard.

"Fuck, no," you sobbed as he kept fingering you through your orgasm, a shit-eating smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“That's what you deserve for interrupting my game with my friends.

- Please, 'm sorry," your thighs closed around his hand and he pulled his fingers out of you before picking you up and throwing you on the bed.

He was fast at taking your and his shirt off, as well as taking one of your boobs in his mouth. Your back arched and he softly bit on your nipple, his hand finding its way back to your pussy and brushing against your clit again, making your body shake in overstimulation.

“You're lucky you got me horny as fuck,” pulling away from your boob made a popping sound and he took the rest of his clothes off.

[rainebelowzero]

Having Kurt cock warm you while you are doing your work

He's whimpering and whining for you to fuck him as your cock is buried deep inside him and he isn't allowed to fuck himself

I combined both of these because they were pretty similar, hopefully that's okay. Also, I'm SO sorry this took so long!! I've had both of the asks for like a month I think, so sorry about that 😵‍💫😵‍💫 I'm still writing requests, I've just been really slow, but I swear they're gonna get done

I wrote this with a really bad migraine, so if there are any mistakes or anything, let me know

cws: cockwarming, praise, overstim, begging

Kurt lets out a soft moan as you readjust him in your lap. He buries his face in your neck, his cock twitching a little with yours buried inside him. You don’t pay much attention to him, letting him get settled and then finishing up some of your work on your laptop. Kurt is silent for the most part, the only sounds being the clicking of the keyboard and his breathing by your ear.

After a little bit, he starts to squirm, so you glance down, seeing his cock start to leak precum against your shirt. Kurt rolls his hips, trying to get you to thrust deeper into him so you gently place your hands on his hips, holding him in place. He whines but takes the hint and stops moving.

A few more minutes pass, and Kurt starts to move again, his breath becoming heavier as he starts to moan louder. He ruts against you, not even really moving up and down so he could feel you hit deep against his walls.

Kurt pants a little bit, before you eventually decide to stop him again, placing a hand on his hip and holding him in place. He whines again, louder this time and you can’t stop an amused look from forming on your face at his desperation. He mumbles something, which you don’t hear at first.

“What was that?” You ask. He sighs and pulls away a little so that his voice isn’t muffled but you still can’t really see his face.

“Please..I– I need…” He trails off and doesn't continue, still trying to grind his hips down in yours. You bring a hand up to his face, making him look at you.

“Please, what?”

“Fuck me, please..I need it so bad..” His voice is quiet, and his cock twitches again, the tip flushed and begging for attention. Your hands make their way back to Kurt's hips, pulling him closer and grinding your cock into him. He holds onto your shoulders tightly as he lets out a small whimper.

You find it hard not to lose your self control, barely anything stopping you from abandoning work and fucking Kurt to tears, but you eventually decide to slow down, Kurt's moans dying down to soft and almost frustrated whimpers.

“You can wait a little bit longer, can’t you?” You respond. He nods, but you can tell he's not happy about it, and you press a kiss to his neck as you go back to work. He mutters softly about being a good boy for you, about how he can wait patiently, he can take it like a good boy.

His neglected cock continues to drool against your shirt, you pressing into his ass so deliciously he can hardly think. He wants to move so bad, he wants nothing more than to just have you pounding into him, but he would never dream of disobeying you. You rearrange a few times so that Kurt's tip is rubbed against you just to hear the long whines that come out of him.

His breath is noticeably heavier as he squirms and pants, sounding like he's in heat, just so desperate for you to do anything to him. You continue to click away at your computer, but you can't ignore the way Kurt's hole squeezes around your cock, as if it was trying to milk you dry. His thighs are trembling as his hands grasp at your shoulders, barely being able to keep himself steady, with his face buried in your neck.

Eventually, Kurt gasps, and his hips buck forward stronger than before. His grip on you tightens to an ungodly amount, his nails are almost digging into you. Broken whines and moans fall from his lips as his cock begins to spurt ropes of cum over your shirt. You raise an eyebrow, but it doesn't surprise you, and you gently grind up into him as he twitches in your lap.

You don't stop when he's done coming though.

He gasps again as you finally start to fully thrust up into him. His eager hole swallows up your cock, and even though his almost painfully sensitive body was begging for him to take a break, he pants and moans loudly as he bounces himself on your cock. Your fingers dig into his hips while your other hand takes one of his nipples, squeezing and rolling it in them.

His dick bobs with all the movement, twitching and throbbing as it becomes more flushed. Your lips meet his neck, kissing and gently sucking along it as he groans from all the overwhelming feelings.

Kurt goes from holding onto your shoulders to full on scratching at the back of the chair. You groan, your hands moving to his ass. Kurt's head pulls away from your neck just enough for you to be able to press your lips to his in an uncoordinated, sloppy kiss. Your tongue explores his mouth as he whimpers, eagerly kissing you back.

His body tenses before he starts to cum again, dirtying your shirt even more and spraying some of it against his stomach where his shirt is riding up. He stops most of his movement, his body going mostly limp in your lap other than slowly and lazily grinding his hips into yours.

One of your hands gently strokes his shoulder as he catches his breath. You whisper soft praises in his ear, he was so good for you, he did so well, and he gives you an exhausted smile, making a short, pleased humming sound whenever you call him "good".

[multifandomhaven]

Part II

TW: Mentions of animal neglect/abuse (nothing violent or descriptive - my heart can't take it). Also, I'm trying to get this as close to reality as possible, but I am in no way a doctor/veterinarian. Please, please, please don't use this as a guide for helping any animal.

I proofread this as best as I could (it's cross-posted as a fanfic so I changed MC's name to Y/N) so there might be an inconsistency(ies?) that I missed!

Y/N woke to the trilling song of a blue jay that had nested on the ledge of her window. The smooth chirps and whistles provided her a sense of peace, for when she heard it she knew she was safe in her cozy apartment. Standing on her toes she peeked into the ledge outside her window, as she did every morning, eagerly awaiting the small, blue eggs to hatch.

She yawned and stretched, rising from her bed. She straightened her t-shirt as best she could - there was no hope for the wrinkles. After she brushed her teeth and slipped on her fuzzy slippers she closed the bedroom door behind her. The warm, morning light streamed through the window by her barely-ever-used dining table.

She poured herself a bowl of cereal and sat down, pulling her laptop out to begin her day. There was an email from Mari, her favorite tech.

I know you're on leave and I'm not supposed to bother you, but we've got a cat and it's not looking good for him. A black and white stray, male. He looks like he's been through the wringer, Y/N. Animal control brought him in, and found him in a dumpster.

Y/N reread the email a few times before she clicked the attached video. The cat, obviously malnourished, bared its teeth and hissed at the person behind the camera, but didn't try to defend himself. He was tired, scared, and very sick.

Y/N frowned around her bite of food, her fingers darting over the keyboard as she typed out her response.

Give me an hour.

"Morning," John crooned from the doorway, his voice still thick with sleep. Y/N glanced up noting that he was already dressed and ready for the day. She gave him a small, forced smile as she read the email Mari sent back - saying that they'd be waiting for her.

Y/N sighed softly, her eyes drifting from her screen to John's eyes.

"What is it?" John asked.

Y/N's frown deepened and she placed her computer on the table. "I got an email saying that we have an abused animal at the office. I need to go make sure he's okay - see if he can be rehabilitated or if he needs to..." she trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence. Of course, she'd had many animals that she'd had to put to sleep, but never did it get any easier, "rest."

"You've not been cleared to go back to the office," John reminded her stiffly. "You're still healing, and we've yet to find who ordered the attack on you."

"I can't let him suffer if he doesn't have a chance of making it," Y/N argued, her brows furrowed. "I won't stay, I swear. I'll assess him, see what needs to be done, and come home."

John sighed deeply and stared at her as if he were weighing her words, and then gave a single nod. "Only him."

A little while later, when they arrived at the office, Y/N was taken back to where the bi-colored cat lay. He was sedated, and connected to a drip to give him a little extra hydration. Tears burned her eyes and she sniffed, trying to contain them as she looked over the animal - he was thin, critically so. His fur was faded-looking and dirty. One of the techs was cleaning and wrapping a wound on his back leg.

"He was found in a dumpster," Mari reiterated from over her shoulder. Y/N noticed how the tech's gaze settled on her own still-healing bruised eye, but she ignored it. Mari didn't comment on it, instead, she continued to fill her in on the cat's condition. "He's a little on the wild side, Doc."

Y/N nodded as she listened, her heart squeezed in her chest. She couldn't help but feel like it was destiny that brought this creature to her at this exact moment. She took a deep breath to settle her emotions. "He needs a high-protein, high-fat diet supplemented with some vitamins for a few weeks." She ran her hand through his fur softly, her fingers roving over every one of his pronounced ribs. "But, all things considered, he seems like he'd be okay to be fostered."

Mari nodded, writing in his chart. "Okay. Have you heard from any of our fosters? Know anyone who's able to take him in?"

"Yeah," Y/N said softly, her eyes flicking from the cat to John, who stood out of the way in the back of the room, but always watching. She gently stroked the cat's side and looked back down at him sadly. "I'm gonna take him home with me. Get him fed and tamed down a bit. We can give this guy a new life, I'm sure of it."

"Y/N." Mari furrowed her brows. "Are you sure? I know you have a lot going on right now..."

Y/N tore her eyes from the cat, pinning Mari with a look. "I'm taking him with me. Find a carrier and a cone while I prepare him for the ride."

"Okay, okay..." Mari sighed, obviously wanting to protest, but she kept it to herself.

Y/N carefully took the IV out of the cat's leg and bandaged it as gently as she could. It was just Y/N and John in the room now. Y/N allowed her shoulders to fall as she looked back down at the battered creature on the table. "Poor little guy."

John sighed and stepped fully into the room, his hands clasped behind his back. He was looking at her, concern clear on his face. "You sure about this?"

Y/N nodded and carefully wiped at her healing eye as tears threatened to fall. "I can handle it."

"I don't doubt it," John agreed softly, giving her upper arm a gentle squeeze. "You'll fix him up."

"Yeah," Y/N agreed quietly. "He'll be okay."

Later that evening Y/N sat on the sofa with John, both of them watching the crate the cat was in. He had begun to rouse, stretching and mewling as he looked around the new environment. Y/N smiled and moved to crouch in front of the crate. She knelt, smiling softly as the cat bared its teeth at her, hissing.

"You're okay, buddy," Y/N cooed softly. "You're safe."

Curled up in the back of the crate, the cat watched her. His large, green eyes were trained on her, his head followed her as she went to the kitchen and brought back some food for him. She opened the can up and put some of the medicine she'd gotten for him on top. The smell wrinkled Y/N's nose, but she stirred it up anyway.

She opened the door, not even flinching as the cat started hissing and swatting at her hand.

"Y/N," John warned her.

"He's just scared." She told him as she pushed the bowl closer to the cat. The cat sniffed as it caught a whiff of the food. She shut the door to the cage and sat back on her knees, watching him intently.

He kept his eyes on her as he ate quickly, mewling with every bite. Once he was done he went back to the corner of the crate and laid back down.

Y/N's heart broke as she watched him. She couldn't help but wonder if this poor creature had ever known love.

Days passed and little by little Y/N had managed to worm her way into the cat's heart. She had several scratches on her hands and a bite mark or two, but she didn't let it deter her. Instead, it made her want to work harder.

"Clover," she sang softly, opening the door to his crate. She placed his bowl of food outside the cage and sat beside it, watching as he slowly emerged. He looked around the room, spotting the litter box Y/N had put just off to the side. "Come on, buddy," she encouraged him gently.

She pushed the bowl just a bit closer to him, hoping to entice him. Wary, he inched closer, his eyes never leaving her. He bent down and began to lap up the food. Y/N held back the noise of happiness that worked its way up her throat. She bit back her smile and slowly reached out, gently stroking his back.

He startled and ran back into his crate.

"Okay, okay," Y/N cooed and held her hand up in defense. She stood quietly by the door and watched him creep back over to his food. She felt John's presence looming at her back.

"He's cross with you, isn't he?" John asked with a huff. "He hasn't looked away."

"Well, he didn't scratch or bite me this time," she reminds him with a huff of laughter. "That's a step in the right direction."

[ornii]

Folie a Deux III: Trending

The shoots were getting more and more intense as time went on, from your magic, to faking being blind to shooting your own fight scenes, a lot of work with little downtime, but when you did, you spend it focusing on your music. Making samples and producing, one late night in your trailer, the sounds of a cello tuning cut your music time down, you couldn’t focus with it. You heard that melody so vividly, You placed your headphones down and stepped out of your trailer, you heard the sounds coming from inside one of the rooms for shooting, it was nearing midnight. You crept up the stairs as Paint it Black was echoing.

Jenna sat with a Cello, trying to mementoes the strokes for her character Wednesday but it was always off by a smidge. She sighs as she stops to tune it. You watched her, her dedication to her character, to the art. You were, admittedly amazed.

“Don’t tune it.” you say, her head jerks over to surprise, seeing you.

“Shit. I didnt wake you, did. I?”

“No I was just finishing some samples Metro sent me, you’re really good at that.” You walk over, trying to not be a creep you sit always away from her, Jenna shrugged it off.

“No I’ve.. only been playing for a few months for the role.”

“A few months?” You say, flabbergasted. You scoot closer.

“It took me a year to learn bass guitar! You’re amazing, can you play something for me?” You ask, as Jenna was fumbling around to form an excuse you had an idea.

“Wait; let me help you, gimmie a sec.” (Y/n) darts off, leaving Jenna alone only for a minute, he enters with a keyboard piano and a violin, he sits across from her.

“It might Help you to recognize keys from songs you like and mentally implant them for your song, like this.” You say, you tap a few keys for drums and begin a simple beat, and with the lyrics she immediately recognizes the song

“I wish i knew you wanted me~ I wish I knew..” you sing, you then put the drums on repeat and take the violin and help with the bass line.

“Okay, take the keys, minor. Cellos a low register, I’ll pick up on high.” You say and begin a Violin and Cello rendition of “Bad Habit” by the one and only Steve Lacy, your eyes can’t stay off of her as you watch her play. The lyrics flowing like red wine from your lips.

“I bite my tongue, it's a bad habit

Kinda mad that I didn't take a stab at it

Thought you were too good for me, my dear

Never gave me time of day, my dear

It's okay, things happen for

Reasons that I think are sure, yeah…”

The keys started to come naturally to her, listening to the beat and focusing. While the music was amazing, it attracted more of the cast members who were unaware of what was going on, Peeking inside the Enid and Wednesday bedroom stage they saw the two performing and it was magical. The duo were reaching the chorus as they entered, actually impressed by the cover, and joined it.

You can't surprise a Gemini

I'm everywhere, I'm cross-eyed, and

Now that you're back, I can't decide

If I decide if you're invited

You always knew the way to wow me

Fuck around, get tongue-tied, and

I turn it on, I make it rowdy

Then carry on, but I'm not hidin'

You grabbin' me hard 'cause you know what you found

Is biscuits, is gravy, babe, ah-ah

(Y/n)’s eyes locked with Jenna’s. He couldn’t tear away from that gleam, those eyes, that smile.

“You can't surprise a Gemini

But you know it's biscuits, is gravy, babe

I knew you'd come back around

'Cause you know it's biscuits, it's gravy, babe

Let's fuck in the back of the mall, lose control

Go stupid, go crazy, babe

I know I'll be in your heart 'til the end

You'll miss me, don't beg me, babe..” He ends with a violin string, and the others watching immediately started berating them with questions, wondering if this was going to be in the final shoot. After some laughs and awkward chit chat, they all left, but Emma saw (Y/n) and Jenna chatting as the night was coming to a close, and couldn’t help but smile.

Wednesday had been a Commercial success, the internet going wild for it. Netflix had found lightning in a bottle and much of that was Thanks to Jenna of course, but much of the conversation was about the supporting cast. Mostly You. The Wenclair ship was trending, but it was #Healday that kept on the charts. The internet obviously went wild for the show and a season 2 was bound to happen, and of course there was the press tour, promoting the show and showing up appearances.

Exiting the Limo you kept a fairly calm demeanor, unbeknownst to everyone a little anxious, stepping out in a Notch Label embroiled Suit with a deep red scarf to boot. Wearing deep black shades your eyes were hidden to the crowd, you turn around and extend your hand and from the Limo Miss Ortega takes it, steeping out with a slim fit single shoulder dress with a thigh split for the thigh high leggings to show. Thank god for your shades, everyone would have seen just what you were oogling at. You kept composure as you lead your “Friend.” Out of the Limo to more flashes and cameras. Fitting a perfect example of a Modern Victorian Couple indeed. You walked with her slowly to let the Paparazzi get their moneys worth.

“Great dress.” You say to her, she attempted to hide the smile but couldn’t.

“I thought you’d like it..” she accidentally blurted out.

“What?” You reply, not entirely sure if you heard her correctly.

“I just meant It would go well with yours, we gotta keep this up, people really seem to like us.” She said, you shrugged it off and Jenna, taking a small risk leans up against your shoulder just slightly, the brush of her hair along your neck made you soul tingle. It seems this coverage was going swimmingly. You casually checked your phone and you see what’s treading. Both of you.

“Well.. that didn’t take long.”

When it came to interviews you kept things pretty professional, but always did your best to support your cast members and always talk positively about it. Your fame continues to grow and your friendship with Miss Ortega seems to be blooming so swimmingly, unfortunately for her; two words stuck a dagger into the heart of your relationship, making it bleed with jealousy.

This words.. Olivia Rodrigo.

Folie a Deux IV: Jealousy

[disabled-dragoon]

Now that I'm on the verge of officially leaving (read: supposed to be graduating, highly likely to be failing) university, I feel it is only fair to share with you all some of the best (/s) accessibility moments that I have experienced over the last 3 years in this godforsaken place.

Let us begin:

Every. Single. Lift. Is. Different. There were at least 3 different "hold button to work" lifts in one building and two of them were consistently broken.

The main/most reliable one was broken for half a term and they didn't even so much as put up a sign to notify people.

Another takes you down half a flight of stairs. The door release buttons don't work. The up button doesn't work inside of it. The down button doesn't work to call it. More than once I had to get out and struggle up the stairs just to reach into the lift and control it from the outside. Absolute nightmare. This is the only accessible entrance to a certain classroom. Every other entrance is endless staircases.

Why are the lifts DIRECTLY at the top of the staircases and behind a set of heavy pull doors. This does not seem safe.

The library was made into a partially one-way system after the initial covid lockdowns. The front door was automatic. The exit door was not until about 2 months ago and had not 1 but two heavy pull doors that had to be opened. And it was broken for the longest time before that.

Someone tell me why to get to the "accessible" entrance of one of the classrooms I genuinely had to leave the building, go around to the other side and wait to be let back in in the rain because students can't access the door from the outside. Feel like this is one of those rare times I would have rejoiced at the "push to work" lifts. This is a computer suite.

One of my lectures was in an art lecture hall down two very steep staircases. The disabled entrance is outside (again), behind the exit staircase, and is not very clearly signposted at all.

Also on point 7, apparently (!!), the damn thing routinely gets stuck?? A passing lecturer had to open it for me then spent about 15 minutes on the phone to maintenance to report it AGAIN.

STOP PUTTING MASSIVE PROJECTORS IN THE ONLY WHEELCHAIR SPACE IN THE WHOLE ROOM. THEY ARE TWICE THE SIZE OF THE WHEELCHAIR AND IMPOSSIBLE TO MOVE.

They've been restoring one of the oldest buildings now for 2 years. Which is great- it's a gorgeous building- but the scaffolding cut off a lot of access, including the main, most wheelchair accessible doors, and the car park that can be used to be bypass the uneven pavements.

Bikes chained and left on ramps that VERY CLEARLY state not to leave or chain bikes there

The PCs that were specifically supposed to be given up for disabled people, and were kitted out for people with various disabilities, never had keyboards. Just a monitor, a mouse and a tower. People used to unplug the keyboards when they thought they weren't being used and put them in different PCs. God knows why.

Disabled bays are not reserved bays. They are not extra bays for security cars, or buses, or the grounds keeping truck. They are disabled bays, for disabled people. Use one of the other 150 spaces available on campus. Leave our 4 alone.

Also just making university students pay to park on campus is evil. What do you mean they can't even use the car parks until 5pm. Lectures start at 9am! Not everyone lives on campus!

Wide open cupboards in the narrowest of hallways.

One of the disabled bathrooms is behind an incredibly heavy rolling folding door that keeps falling off its tracks so it doesn't close properly.

Tiny triangular disabled bathroom on the opposite side of the building to the lift, despite the "regular" bathrooms being next to the lift. Had to partially fold my chair to get the door to close.

People congregating on the only ramps to leave the building, chattering away, then getting pissy with me when I ask them to move so I can actually leave. There are no loitering signs for a reason, people. Read them.

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ PRYCE AND CARTER'S DEEP SPACE SURVIVAL PROCEDURE & PROTOCOL MANUAL / PAGE 861 - 936 tenses and wording may have been altered slightly for ease of sending! always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

'fainting is a bad sign.'

'there are times you get to have a magic sword, and there are times you need to throw it into a lake.'

'you can't spell "ignorance" without "a goner". be aware and informed at all times!'

'repairs are only possible when personnel are alive to make them.'

'in case you were wondering, mister nice guy(tm) was an experimental hr program piloted in the early '80s and has since been retired.'

'REGULATIONS, SHMEBULATIONS.'

'you will be shocked - /shocked!/ - to learn that /illegal/ gambling is impossible in a place where there's technically no human jurisdiction.'

'consider this a friendly reminder to not bet anything that isn't yours to lose.'

'mercury isn't in retrograde, it's in celsius.'

'incidentally: humans are a fantastic source of protein.'

'in a tight spot, remember: statistically, most things are afraid of the dark.'

'"minor complication" is the suggested alternative to the term "active catastrophe".'

'extremes of pressure are always detrimental to your health.'

'BEWARE THE PERILS OF CROWDFUNDING.'

'there is a line when it comes to being "dangerous". your job is to get as close to that line as you can without touching it.'

'jokes and horseplay are permitted on a "don't ask, don't tell" basis.'

'in a pinch, you can use a dollar to write a note, absorb spills, and practice the noble art of origami.'

'early adoption can lead to beneficial manipulation.'

'few things will get you through as many situations or dangerous situations as a good sense of humor.'

'if you think sunburns on earth are bad, just wait until you get one in space.'

'don't think you're better than them. you've been washing your hands wrong for years.'

'attachment to one's own hair is a liability.'

'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? PUT THAT DOWN IMMEDIATELY!'

'you must always be in control of your attitude.'

'rapidly typing instructions on your keyboard is distracting and rarely useful.'

'the best /ist/ to be is a completionist.'

'space is like jazz: it's all about the places you don't breathe.'

'not a great time for pros and cons lists.'

'good things come to those who wait, but great things come to those who waste no time in getting back to work.'

'go back to your room and change.'

'a little extra butter never killed anyone. officially.'

'temperature control is a privilege.'

'always pay attention, but do not look too closely.'

'triangles are the strongest shape and the weakest musical instrument.'

'half of leading is acting.'

'there is a rule to every exception.'

'be ready to be spartacus. you might have to be.'

'survival is futile.'

'survival is a fiction.'

'once an idea exists outside our head, can it really ever die?'

'do /any/ of us ever really die?'

[rallamajoop]

Summoning Sturm in RE Mercenaries: A How-To Guide

So, now that you understand why Sturm is THE BEST, time to back up and explain a bit more about how to use him, and why it's down to me to tell you.

For the completely unfamiliar, Mercenaries is a challenge mode that unlocks on completing RE8. As of the Winters Expansion, you can even unlock playable characters like Heisenberg and Lady D, which is every bit as awesome as it sounds. As Heisenberg, you can do cool shit like flinging sawblades and summoning Soldats ‒ but the instructions do not mention that summoning Sturm is possible too, and you aren't likely to find it out by accident.

I can state this with confidence, because I didn't find it even in all the time it took me to score an S-rank on all 12 stages (yes, even the hard ones) as Heisenberg ‒ which unlocks the coveted Heisenberg Statue (TM).

Once unlocked though, the statue sits in your entrance lobby and shows you pointless stats on previous runs ‒ stuff like 'stages completed', 'hammers slammed', or... wait, 'Sturms summoned'? Hang on, Heisenberg can summon Sturm? SINCE WHEN?

This was legitimately my first clue. There was only one person to ask, and that person was google.

If you're in doubt that this is one of the best kept secrets in all of RE lore, to reiterate, googling "Heisenberg" and "summon Sturm" still produces only a handful of results (and several of those are now links to my last post about it). Fortunately, one of those was some clever dude who'd spotted a curious option buried in the Mercenaries keybindings on PC, just under Heisenberg's magnetic field activation command, and labeled only 'Change Minion'.

Not a lot to go on, so let me explain.

You use your Soldat summon by selecting your fourth weapon slot (4 on keyboard, D-pad-down on controller), then hit the 'fire' button to deploy it (left mouse button on PC, right trigger on controller) . There's a considerable cooldown between uses, so you can't just spam it for an easy time.

However, if you hit the 'Change Minion' button after switching to your Soldat, but before hitting 'fire', the icon in the bottom right of your screen should change.

You are now in Summon Sturm Mode.

Surprisingly, there's no unlock required for this. Unlocking Heisenberg requires an A-rank on all 6 easy-level stages, and many of Heisenberg's more exciting abilities have to be bought or found at random. Sturm, however, is available wherever Soldats are sold. It's very weird that it's so well-hidden.

Do note: hitting Alt again will not 'change your minion' back. To switch back to Soldat-mode, just hit 4/down again. Or switch to any other weapon (slots 1-3), then back to 4 again. Sturm-mode is not sticky: if you've been flinging saws or flash grenades while waiting for the cooldown to clear, you'll have defaulted back to Soldat mode next time you want to summon a minion, and you'll have to hit Alt again. This can be a little annoying when you're under pressure, but so it goes.

How-to on PS/XBOX

How to summon Sturm on PS or XBOX is a thornier question: instructions for controllers aren't as detailed as the keyboard shortcuts. Fortunately, another of those few google hits was a guy on youtube who'd figured it out on PS5: according to him, the trick is to hold X, and spin the left analog stick (the one that controls the camera) through 360 in a counterclockwise direction. Which is a lot more complicated, and worth testing.

Now, I don't own a current generation Playstation or XBOX, but I do have both an old PS3 controller and a knockoff XBOX controller, which I sometimes use for PC gaming, so I tried it out. And on both, what I found was that you didn't need to hold down any button: simply spinning the analog stick 360 degrees in either direction worked. Doesn't seem to matter where you start the spin either, as long as it goes the whole way around.

I can't 100% guarantee it's the same on a real XBOX/PS, but if that's how you game, I recommend you test it out in the lobby before trying it in a level. Your Soldat-gage doesn't charge in the lobby, but you can still see the icon change to Sturm to show you've got it right (and please do let me know if so!)

Sturm: An Advanced Strategy Guide

So, having now told you all about why Sturm is awesome, is there ever any reason not to summon Sturm? Because on paper he seems to have everything over your regular Soldat summon: does comparable damage on the first run, and then he keeps going ‒ where's the downside?

Well, after extensive testing, I'm here to tell you Sturm does have one weakness. Your Soldat will pierce through anything ‒ including heavily armoured enemies, like Soldat Panzers and, er, enemy Sturms, which are otherwise invincible from the front.

Summon!Sturm, however, sometimes won't damage armoured enemies. Honestly, it's not totally consistent that he'll just bounce off, but it's happened enough times to qualify as a pattern. Sometimes he'll work, but often he won't. Even regular un-armoured Soldats with their fingers crossed arms covering their weak spot can sometimes be a problem. So take that under advisement: your Soldat is more reliable, even if he's mostly less fun.

Sadly, this also means that summoning Sturm to fight Sturm isn't often going to work: enemy Sturms remain frustratingly invincible from the front, and will charge straight through him. And as soon as there are two Sturms on the field, keeping track of which one can hurt you and which one can't is like playing Russian Roulette with a chainsaw.

Sturm's also worse with obstacles. Summon your Soldat in the Factory level's Foundary area, and he'll punch through anything to reach his target. Sturm may well just get stuck on a table.

This is not to say summoning your Soldat is always the sensible-if-boring option. Sturm not only sticks around longer and can hit enemies who haven't even spawned yet, he can also hit an enemy more times as he barrels past.

Take the ever-annoying Varcolac miniboss that leaps out at you at the start of the final Hard level, the Bloody River II. Your Soldat will take a nice chunk off its health gauge, but won't finish it off.

But Sturm? Sturm will take it down so fast you won't even have to wait for him to turn around.

(This is not just a fluke, for the record ‒ I've tried this with both of them more than once.)

Speaking of damage, both Sturm and your Soldat are affected by most any ability which boosts general damage ‒ even some of the ones that look contradictory. Infighter? Will boost damage on any enemy they hit standing close to you. Out of Reach? Will boost damage on any enemy they hit further away. Fickle shooter will boost damage even when they hit multiple enemies with one hit. And as for any other attack, bonuses stack and multiply. But Break Shot is generally going to be your most useful single bonus (50% extra damage to anything on full health, which is most enemies Sturm and Soldy are going to hit).

The one I'm not so sure about is No Brainer, since I'm not sure if your summons can actually pull off a headshot. Maybe it's possible, but don't think I've seen it happen.

By contrast, I don't think your magnetic field has any effect. It'll boost damage done by the hammer and other projectiles by double (or more), but doesn't seem to have any impact damage done by summons.

From all this testing, I've also learned that your standard cooldown between Soldat/Sturm summons is 1 minute ‒ reduced to 40 seconds if you buy the S.O.S. ability. Who you summon or how long Sturm bumbles around for doesn't seem to make any difference there.

Alas, I have had very little luck summoning Sturm to help me fight Miranda. She just spends too much time in the air to be a good Sturm-target ‒ a real shame, because she'd otherwise make a great gif to finish on. But in lieu of that, have a gif of Sturm doing truly absurd amounts of damage while boosted with multiple assorted damage upgrades (which he's not in most of the gifs above).

[balladingbard]

6.4 MSQ Review

Some thoughts on our quest to save the Void...(spoilers under the cut)

Admittedly, I waited a bit before I did the MSQ (because Ancients took priority with Pandaemonium's finale and all that), but the MSQ overall was both...how do I put this? A bit of a mixed bag. I don't doubt that there's a lot of set up going on for a big finale (as well as tying up some threads from Endwalker), but I found that the story update had a bit more filler than I would like. Anyways, on to the specifics!

Estinien fans, how we feeling? Because that curry didn't leave me all hot and bothered, but this sure did:

Was it fanservice? Yes.

Did it prove Estinien is Endwalker's thirst king? Yes.

Did I nearly break my keyboard from hitting that Print Screen button to screenshot? I have the right to remain silent. (Also yes.)

The scene probably wasn't necessary, but Zero's reaction made for a good laugh, and it's nice to see some of the other Scions get some fan love.

I'd like to pretend that I have more to say for the first half of the MSQ, but honestly? There's not much. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. There were some cute moments (like the curry and Zero terrifying the Loporrits), but the journey from Radz to the moon just felt long and tedious. Thancred's cameo felt short and over too soon, and from a storytelling perspective, I can't help but wonder what purpose he served there. I felt like he needed a bigger role to be there, but maybe we'll get that role later as the MSQ hinted to seeing him again.

That being said, the new dungeon is a delight. The fights were fun, the music exciting, and the view was absolutely breathtaking. And the bears! How can you not stop by and watch them play?

I should probably say something about Garlemald before we head to the Void, and I think a lot of folks have mentioned that they felt the Garlean arc served its purpose, but perhaps would've made a better story for an expansion rather than continuing as side stories. I feel like Garlemald was such a big player in the overall tale, and having it sidetracked seems like a lot of missed opportunities. Rather than repeat the same "we don't trust outsiders, but I guess you aren't so bad, so we'll trust you" thought process, I feel like we really could've seen a great story told with how Garlemald rises from the ashes. It could have been an interesting story on forgiveness and redemption (plus some really dramatic infighting with who wants to take control), but I feel like we won't really see it unless it's in short bursts here and there.

Anyways, on to the Void. Seeing Vrtra in his full dragon form was a huge delight and as much as I love his avatars, seeing him go to his sister as himself was really nice. It really brought back some of the delights of Heavensward and seeing just how capable Vrtra is like the rest of the brood. Azdaja comparing Estinien to Nidhogg was on point and made me chuckle, and it was great to see Vrtra and Azdaja reunited, if only for a little while.

But then we get to Golbez. Between his own words and Zero's flashbacks, I feel like we get to the main course of the MSQ at this point.

There's a lot to unpack here, and I'm going to do my best to condense my thoughts so you don't have a book to read. I think most have come to the same conclusion that the real Golbez (a.k.a. the mage) is possibly the Void's shard of the Warrior of Light. The unvoiced cutscene and the fact that they pretty much act like us is pretty obvious, and I don't doubt we'll get more about the mage later on, especially with their crystal getting yeeted into Zeromus. On a side note (and this is just me crying in caster main), but it was really cool to see a mage in armor. Robes are nice and all, but a mage in spiky armor is a rare sight that I'd like to see more of.

Anyways, I won't rehash what others have said regarding the new trial and how our trip to the void didn't pan out according to plan, but I do have a theory about Durante that is probably off the wall, and I can't help but wonder about it.

We learn through the mage's crystal and Zero's flashback that Durante and Golbez were pretty much besties, going off and doing hero work when the Void was in chaos. Throughout our journey with Zero, she has mentioned our "friendship" with Zenos, trying to figure out what it meant. Jullus' words on trust and our own thinking of Zenos' final moments have a reason, and I don't think these mentions are without purpose.

I think Durante is a shard of Zenos, and it's not because he's a big, buff dude with blonde hair. His devotion to Golbez, his strength and power...it's very reminiscent of our Garlean prince, but instead of a rivalry, we could get a glimpse of what life could have been like with Zenos sharing our journey instead of fighting it.

In terms of storytelling, I can't help but wonder if it's an attempt to add more layers to Zenos despite him not being in the picture. Or perhaps it's trying to show us that in another world, the WoL/Zenos pair is actually a pretty strong one. Or maybe it will provide us a way to connect to Durante later on. We couldn't save Zenos, but perhaps we could save his shard. Only time will tell with how this will all pan out, but I don't think the flashbacks to Zenos are without purpose, and what that purpose truly is, we'll eventually see.

[talesmaniac89]

Charity Heist 8 - aka. B is for Boredom, Bad Decisions and Bobo the Clown

A Supernatural Heist AU - Masterlist

Pairing: Hitter!Dean x Thief!Reader

Summary: The Singer & Winchester Retrieval Agency is the best group of con artists in the world. But even though Y/N can crack safes, scale buildings and infiltrate even the most secure locations, she still can't find a way to deal with her all consuming feelings for the group's greek god of a hitter; Dean Winchester. How will she handle their next big heist, when she's forced to get up close and personal with the man of her dreams?

Warnings: Idiots in love, smutty thoughts, a lot of swearing and a ton of bad jokes.

Watch the trailer here

A/N: This story is 50% jokes and 50% dirty thoughts. No deep angst, just fun and action! Inspired by the series Leverage.

Y/N = Your Name

Start Here - Last - Next

Running to your room to hide for perpetuity had seemed like a good idea. 

That was until you remembered that you had the attention span of a toddler and needed to be entertained at all times. And, all that time in your room just meant a ton of silent, contemplative time to go over what had happened in the closet. To the point that the word ‘closet’ was close to becoming the dirtiest word you knew. 

Your brain was just one looped gif. Carefully going over every salacious dirty detail of Dean’s body against yours. His tongue wetting his lips. Strong, safe arms keeping you close to him as you subconsciously rolled your hips against him. The feel of him, clearly just as turned on as you were, pushing against your hip. The hard look in his eyes, paired with that teasing grin that told you he was a man who enjoyed being in control…

Over, and over, and over, and… Fuck. 

After less than an hour locked in your own room, you needed to get out. You needed something, anything, to take your mind off of Dean. Plus, you were 99.9% sure that boredom could actually kill you. You just hadn’t let yourself be bored for long enough to test your theory out. And you weren’t planning to start now.

Sure, you might be a thief, and a wanted criminal. But your only real crime was that you were down to clown. And, though you knew it was safest to hide in your room. You couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit bored. What with no one other than yourself to make fun of, or clown around with, in the windowless room. 

So, against your better judgment, you’d decided to sneak back out to watch Sam and Charlie do their thing, play your designated role of class clown, and maybe suggest some fitting titles for the break-in job. Though you knew any naming ideas, no matter how brilliant, would be nixed in a heartbeat, since your team chose to go the boring case file route. Every. Single. Time. 

Though you still had names for all the team’s jobs. Even if the rest of your team members didn’t appreciate them. 

You were still bitter that they’d all vetoed your name for the Met Gala con. “Paint by numbers” had been a perfect fit as far as a con job name went. It covered all the bases; the big money, the crooked accountant AND all the paint.

Still bored, but now also a little miffed at your underappreciated talent for naming heists, you’d tip toed out of your room like the super thief you were. Looking left and right for arms-to-die-for Dean, before quickly hurrying to Brainiac HQ. Not even daring to pop into the kitchen to grab some snacks and a beer before you joined your two resident nerds in their office. Even though you knew you’d come to regret not stocking up...

Hacking wasn’t like in the movies after all. 

Usually it was slow and tedious. Like an endless waiting game for the rest of you, as Sam and Charlie attacked their keyboards looking for weak points and breaking down firewalls. Or whatever it was they did in their office. You’d never really been what one would call ‘technologically savvy’. 

It was a big day for you when you figured out how to use the grill function on the microwave on your own. 

So, pairing your lack of tech savviness with your inability to sit still. You knew the smart thing would’ve been to stop by the kitchen to make yourself a boredom survival kit. For some good ol’ fashioned boredom munchies. But hey… 

No one had ever accused you of doing the smart thing. 

“Hey IT, I think there’s something wrong with my WiFi…” You chirped as you fully entered the tech twins’ lair. Hiding your messy thoughts behind well practiced jabs that you knew would push your best friends’ collective buttons.

“Careful (Y/N), or I’ll actually lock you out from the bunker network completely,” Sam shot back without even looking in your direction. Completely missing the shit-eating grin you threw him as you lifted yourself up on Charlie’s desk picking up one of the many printouts littering her desk to read about…

One of the party participants, who would soon find himself in a jail cell thanks to your little group of do-gooders. This one was apparently the mobster’s chosen tech wiz. A hacker who went by the handle ‘Metatron’. Huh... 

Whomever this Metatron guy was, he sounded like a douche canoe. And one that clearly wasn’t in the same league as your girl. Since Charlie had already dug up all his dirty deeds, including some fanfiction he’d been writing about a guy called Chuck. 

Good riddance. 

Letting the paper fall back down into the pile, you turned your attention to your redheaded best friend. Who was busy eyeing you with both wary anticipation and exasperation in equal measures.

“How can I help Char?” You spoke up before she could go all She Hulk on you and kick you out of her lair if you didn’t have a good reason to be there. Because honestly, you needed something, anything, to do. 

“Oh! Alright, could you help me map out the office? Made a rough sketch on our software when you briefed Bobby, but we’ll need details for the actual job,” 

Charlie’s surprise wasn’t misplaced. Though you would do anything for your main girl. You normally, wisely, stayed out of her way when it came to what she was best at. Or at least came prepared with things you could do for her. 

Years alone on the run didn’t exactly make you a team player. Though you were working on it. You no longer hip tossed anyone who as much as tapped you on the shoulder without warning. Now you checked to see if they were friend or foe first before hip tossing them. Which was definitely progress.

Hopping back down from the front of the desk, you slid around to Charlie’s side instead. Leaning in to watch the layout she had built on the screen, you frowned at the little rectangle in the corner signifying the closet you were actively trying to forget. Before mentally shaking your head and refocusing on the pool table. 

“Pool table was a little more to the left, and Dean’s listening device was placed more towards the center pocket,” You corrected as you pointed your finger towards the screen. Careful not to touch the monitor in fear of facing the full wrath of the 5-foot-4-inch techie in the chair next to you. 

“Alright, anything else?” Charlie’s fingers flew across the keyboard, easily correcting everything at lightning speed as you pointed it out.

“The bar cart, it was closer to the desk, just enough space between ‘em for a full grown man to walk comfortably to the desk. Add bolts to the desk legs. It’s stuck to the floor. Safe location looks spot on. Other than that…” You contemplated the digital mockup of the room carefully, cringing when you were once again forced to look at the closet. 

“The closet, it wasn’t that deep. Cut it down by a few inches,” You added after just a second of hesitation, before continuing to make little, minute changes to the layout on the screen. Ensuring your team had the full visual to build any plans and backup plans, while doing your absolute darndest to ignore the closet as Charlie did her magic on the screen.

“Thanks (Y/N). Damn, how did you even manage to hide from the bad guys in here? For someone so set on showing off his wealth, his office is pretty… Minimalistic. If you don’t count the stuff he’s got hanging on the walls,” Charlie sighed and rolled her shoulders after you finally okayed the layout and offered up the best possible entry and exit strategies. 

“Oh… You know,” You started, really wishing you had a damn beer as you had to stop to clear your throat when your voice cracked over the words.

“We just hid from the heavily armed mafia goons in the closet…. As you do,” 

“Nobody does that (Y/N). How did you even fit?” Charlie’s surprised laugh was followed by her zooming in on the very closet you’d been avoiding looking at. Clearly already doing the mental mathematics in her head to work out how two grown adults could fit into the laughably small space. 

“We… Managed,” You said, pushing yourself away from the desk and walking back around it to cut off the view of the closet and hopefully put an end to Charlie’s questions. 

“Plus, it was probably why they didn’t even bother checking. We were… Lucky, I guess?”

--- 

Though you’d done all you could to help, which wasn’t much, you didn’t feel like returning to your room and brooding over a certain someone again. So, instead you stayed and annoyed your friends watched the two geniuses work. 

They were making quick work of a lot of the preparations. Which was easier with all the extra info your team had acquired during the party. A full chart of the big honcho’s organization was already up on the main screen, including bullet pointed entries for each and every member’s dark history. Your geniuses probably knew more about these guys than their own families. 

While the smaller screens surrounding the main display were filled to the brim with code as they found, and marked, the network backdoors needed for infiltration and extraction of information and money on the day. Each smaller screen another backdoor, firewall or network that they were currently in the process of hacking.

All while at the same time slowly but surely sourcing the account details of the many shell corporations and personal bank accounts of the whole organization. 

With your two geniuses on the case, your team was nearly ready to completely empty the wallets of everyone involved and throw them in jail as soon as you got into the safe. Once you had the paperwork for the charity, the list of donators and the pen drive hiding the nefarious use of the money, you’d destroy them at the click of a button. 

Well… Sam and Charlie would be doing the button clicking. You’d be too busy breaking into whatever safe set up the mobster had. And getting the hell out of dodge if shit hit the fan. Which, considering your track record, it often did. 

Meanwhile… So far your only contribution to the ongoing techie work had been to suggest the name ‘The Donation Drive” for the job. Much to the exasperation of everyone in the room. Which, at that moment, had only been Charlie, Sam and you. A small audience for your brilliant name, sure, but one that could still appreciate your talent. If by ‘appreciate’ you meant groan and reward you with easily won eyerolls of absolute disgust and exasperation.

Which of course was what you meant. 

Though, just as soon as you’d decided those annoyed groans were better than applause… Your victorious laughter had died in your throat once the door opened and Dean walked into the office. Choking you on your sweet victory like some form of unfair karmic justice.

He was still wearing those damned gray sweatpants, which… Of course he was. It had only been… What? Two hours since he changed out of his suit? There was no way in hell he’d make a quick costume change just to save you from imagining the oh so many dirty things wreaking havoc on your heart and your libido. It wasn’t like he could read your mind. 

And thank fuck for that. 

Shouldering the door the rest of the way open, Dean hadn’t noticed you right away. Too focused on balancing the armful of beers he’d brought with him. Choosing to do the smart thing, unlike you, and bring in an offering to the tech Gods whose office you were currently failing to hide out in. 

Yet, as green eyes lifted to greet the room, the smile on his lips had fallen a little as he spotted you. Which, though fully warranted, stung like a bitch for a split second. Before the older Winchester once again soothed that same sting as he replaced the former smile with another, softer, yet somewhat awkward crooked grin in your direction. 

“I thought you guys might be getting thirsty,” Dean said, after taking a second to clear his throat. Before gently putting down the beer haul on one of the free desks not filled to the brim with paperwork, and grabbing four bottles from the stash… 

Four. 

Damn it. Your escape route was closing fast, and your brain was still too hung up on the sight of him in those low hanging sweatpants to haul ass back to the safety, and boredom, of your bedroom.

Plus, seeing him standing there; boyish grin in place and two beer bottles left in his hand after quickly depositing one in both Charlie and Sam’s waiting grasps – offering up a thirst quenching bribe to stop you from running. It was… Familiar. In a way that made you simultaneously happy to see him and terrified at how easily he could put your paranoid self at ease. Happy because of the beers, of course... Not the sweatpants. 

Oh.. Who were you kidding? It was totally the sweatpants. 

Walking over to where you were still seated, half frozen, on the edge of Charlie’s desk, Dean slid in next to you. Leaning against the sturdy wood and scooting closer; close enough for you to smell the slightly spiced scent of his body wash. 

Quickly uncapping both beers, he gave you another small, careful smile before handing you one of the two chilled bottles. Which, effectively cut off any quick retreat you could make without it coming off as equal parts bitchy and weird. 

Sure, you were used to being seen as weird. It was kinda on-brand for you. But ‘bitchy’ was something you reserved for the bad guys. Not the people you worked and lived with. And definitely not for your infuriatingly handsome crush. 

So, instead, you busied yourself with some much needed dosages of liquid courage while throwing sneaky glances at the mercenary next to you over the edge of your bottle. Following his beer bottle to his lips, and nearly choking on your own beer from the sight of those tempting droplets wetting lips you’d been so damned close to tasting only hours earlier. 

Damn it all to the seventh circle of hell, that man looked good doing anything. And was also clearly solely responsible for your own recent oral fixation. And arm fixation… Not to mention thighs, hands, freckles, eyes… 

Fuck it, you were just fixated on the whole damned man. He was too stupidly perfect for his own good. And it always turned you into a bumbling idiot. Not that that was particularly hard. What with your mind always going a mile a minute while your mouth struggled to keep up… 

Aaaaand, you were staring again. 

You caught yourself just as Dean’s eyes locked with yours over his beer bottle. That tempting mouth curling up in a small smile against the lip of his bottle as you hurriedly refocused on the beer in your own hands. Once more, resigning yourself to stripping yet another poor bottle of its precious label as you tore on a corner of the paper to avoid meeting his eye.

Yet, keeping your eyes down didn’t mean you were free from the actual human drug that was Dean Winchester leaving you feeling dizzy and intoxicated. Even with your current vantage point being 70% bottle; you could still see him out of the corner of your eye. There was no way you could kick him - he was just too damned addictive.

His toned and muscular body, leaning nonchalantly against the desk, had caused his t-shirt to ride back up again. By now you were damned sure he was doing it on purpose. To show off that sinful v shape where his sweatpants were resting low on his hips and a flash of the well trained upper body that you could remember perfectly from your close encounter in the closet. 

Which… Of-fucking-course, sent you reeling back into that very same closet as you relived every heated second. Now with the added bonus of feeling Dean’s body heat where his arm brushed up against yours, and having the spiced scent of him fill your senses, sending you reeling back in time to that adrenaline fuelled moment. Leaving you nearly unable to tell reality from memory or dirty daydreams. 

Your own overactive mind, and the many, many dirty versions of that moment that your brain could think up on the spot, had you so lost in thought that you almost missed it when Dean finally spoke up, past some simple pleasantries with his brother and Charlie. 

If it wasn’t for the electrifying feeling of his eyes on you, and the way his deep voice always had pleasurable little shivers run up your spine, you would have missed the close call altogether. As Dean had clearly given up on getting you alone, and instead seemed ready to broach the subject you had been actively avoiding right in front of Sam and Charlie. Whom you knew where totally ready to listen in. No matter how busy they looked. 

As your best friend and adoptive younger brother, both had been the butt of many a joke told by you. And you knew they wouldn’t miss any salacious details that could be turned into ammunition in future back and forths. Both already knew that the quickest way to shut up your endless parade of snarky comments was to mention Dean. So if they had more detailed information to use against you… 

You mentally shuddered just thinking about it. 

“(Y/N), I think we…” Dean started, his voice low, though still very audible in the quiet room. Yet before he could complete his sentence you awkwardly cut him off. Saying the first non-sexy thing that came to mind to stop him from talking you into a corner where you were forced to face your own heartbreak in the middle of Brainiac HQ. 

“Sam was talking about the entry strategy!” Your voice was about two pitches higher than usual, and broke over the final syllable. So, totally not as smooth as you wanted it to be, but hell you were too panicked to care. 

“Especially since I’ll need my full toolkit with me… For the safe,” You continued, reeling your panic back in with a quick sip of beer and playing off the ending as if you were the literal definition of chill. If the meaning of chill had changed since the last time you picked up a dictionary. Which it might have, since the last time you picked up a dictionary was… Well... Never.

Smooth, (Y/N). Now you just needed to ignore Sam’s raised eyebrow, plus the most likely just as elevated eyebrow of Charlie, and hope it was enough. 

Luckily, your not-so-smooth diversion, no matter how awkward and obvious, still worked. As Dean dropped the subject of needing to talk with a tired sigh. His dark chocolate and whiskey voice once more became all business as he turned his attention back to the case.

“Yeah, we might need to rethink using a covert entry strategy…” 

Though you’d successfully changed the subject, you couldn’t focus on a single word Sam or Dean said. Not when the weapon specialist’s eyes still blazed like a forest fire; sending searing waves of heat through your body and into your core. 

Which only burned hotter as he covertly placed his free hand over yours. As if he was afraid you’d run away again. Which, in fairness, he had every reason to be. You were a fucking roadrunner…

Meep meep motherfucker. 

No way you were staying to have that conversation with him. Or going anywhere else to have it with him for that matter. 

Thief rule #1: Always run away from danger. No matter what.  

Those eyes, paired with the way the wet droplets of delicious beer rested on his pillowy bottom lip in a way that forced you to bite your tongue to keep from leaning in for a taste. And the feel of his calloused fingers on the back of your hand, unconsciously tracing circles against your skin…

Yeah, there was no way you could pay attention to a word of what the Winchester brothers were discussing. Past dully nodding along and adding in small sounds of agreement, in fear that your voice would break again if you tried to string actual words together. 

At least you could comfort yourself with the fact that you’d bought your heart a little more time before a certain Mr. Dean Winchester broke it into a million tiny pieces.

You knew there was no way you could keep running from the conversation that the stubborn weapon’s specialist seemed dead set on having. You just wished he’d give you a little time first. Just one night to have a cold shower, and revel like a school girl in the almost-kiss before he broke your heart. 

You just needed time to steel yourself for it. Maybe prepare a few semi-dirty jokes to hide your hurt. Or just literal clown paint… That could work too. Maybe Amazon could overnight you a few months’ worth of grease paint if you managed to keep running from Dean’s rejection for a few more hours?

Because you couldn’t fool yourself into believing he wanted to talk to do anything other than breaking your heart. He needed to talk things through with you to keep the peace in the bunker, that was all. For Dean Winchester, family and the job always came first. And that was all you were. A part of the family; a part of the business.

There was no way THE Dean Winchester liked you… He wasn’t stupid. 

In fact you’d reckon he was one of the smartest men you’d ever met. You didn’t survive long in his line of business without a good head on your shoulders. 

“... I think it’s our best bet for entry plan A. What do you think (Y/N)?”

The mention of your name falling from Dean’s lips was enough to pull you back into the real world again and out of the strange cocktail of sinful thoughts about his proximity mixed with self-loathing and early heartbreak preparations. Though, you’d clearly been checked out for far too long. Since you had no fucking clue what ‘Entry plan A’ was all about. 

“Yeah… Uhm. It sounds good,” You croaked, fooling absolutely no one. Especially not the eagle eyed former mercenary next to you that raised a cocked eyebrow and hid a smirk behind his beer bottle. Letting you know that he had noticed your not-so-secret glances in his direction when you’d used the shop talk to allow yourself to once more zone out and let the 50% of your brain reserved for thinking of the oldest Winchester take over.

“Just… Could you get me a copy of the details tomorrow so I can read through and digest it Sam? Might be some kinks that need working out,” You added, cringing as you swore you could feel Charlie roll her eyes at you from behind her many screens. 

The biggest kink being your damned brain.

“Alright, sounds like the plan’s coming together,” Dean said with a clearly fake yawn, pushing away from the desk and grabbing your empty beer bottle from your hand. Before taking a quick step over to one of the empty desks to place them next to the rest of the beer haul, much to Charlie’s chagrin. Though short, the distance still gave your mind, and heart, some much needed breathing room after having every single nerve in your body hyper focused on the mercenary for… Hell you didn’t even know how long it had been since he first walked into the room.

Yet, the reprieve was short lived, as the fast-as-lightning soldier was right back at your side before your brain could even signal for your feet to bolt for the door. His hand, that had just moments ago stopped resting against yours, reaching for you and easily grasping yours again. As if it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“We’ll leave you guys to it then…” He started, letting his thumb once again paint circles against the back of your hand as he got ready to drag you out of the room and into a heartbreak you still weren’t prepared enough to face. 

Yet, with the direct contact of Dean’s skin against yours, your brain had short circuited to the point of not being able to even think up a single weak excuse as you looked down at where his hand was swallowing up your much smaller one. The dirty little devil on your shoulder once more whispering sweet little nothings about how those hands would feel on your body into your ear and turning you into a tongue tied mess.

“Wait, Dean… Since you’re here…” Sam’s voice had never sounded as sweet as it did at that moment. Like a literal angel. If angels wore a fuck-ton of flannel and had more hair products than you. Which, hey… Who knew? They might? You’d never met an angel, and you were pretty sure you never would. 

What with your line of work and all. You doubted you’d be met with pearly gates when your reckless personality and bad ideas finally caught up to you and bit you in the ass. 

“What’s up?” Dean sounded slightly annoyed at his younger brother’s interruption as his hand squeezed yours. As if to make sure you hadn’t somehow managed to Houdini your way out of his grasp in the split second when Sam spoke up. 

Sure, you were an expert escape artist. Kinda came with the job. But even you couldn’t think of a way out of your current conundrum. 

“I was working the security details you’d mentioned during the debrief earlier into our plans… And I’d been meaning to double check the model of guns you saw the guards packing. Mind just coming over here and double checking the list for me?” 

Sam’s eyes were focused on the screen in front of him as he spoke. Which meant he completely missed the exasperated look Dean shot him. As well as the look of total reverence you threw his way at the same time. 

Sam’s need to have every detail ironed out before bed had just temporarily saved you from having your heart ripped out of your chest… Metaphorically of course. At least you hoped it was metaphoric. Since Dean didn’t look all too happy at the interruption. You however... 

God, you could’ve kissed the giant folder loving fool! If that hadn’t just felt… Icky. You saw him as your little brother. Yeah, no, that was just… Weird. You could’ve high-fived him. You could’ve high fived the hell out of him. If you hadn’t been too busy eyeing the door, ready to bolt the moment Dean dropped your hand. 

With an annoyed sigh, Dean let go of you to walk over to his brother’s desk as you stood perfectly still where he left you. Waiting for him to walk around the desk and give you some much needed space to make your escape. As Dean walked around the desk and leaned in to look at Sam’s screen, he threw a quick look up at you through thick eyelashes. As if he could hypnotize you to stay right there until he was done. 

But, unfortunately for the expert marksman… Unlike his perfect 20/20 vision, you couldn’t see all that well, all of a sudden. It was the weirdest thing… 

So, you chose to completely miss the silent warning in his eyes as you took a careful step backwards. Before clearing your throat and keeping your eyes focused on the door as you made your escape with a quick little wave of your hands and a jumbled and messy goodbye. 

“Well, you won’t need me for gun talk. I’m more of a stabby stabby girl, instead of… Y’know pew pew,” The words came out at a mile a minute as you hurried out of the room after throwing up some awkward finger guns. All the while pretending you couldn’t hear Dean calling out to you, asking you to wait up. 

Smoothest exit ever, you should change professions. You’d make an excellent clown. 

Actually, a career change might not be the worst idea. 

You could run away, join a circus. Get a stage name and put those under appreciated naming skills to good use. Since you doubted you’d survive much longer as a member of the Scooby Crew anyway. Not when Dean didn’t seem likely to drop the subject of your upcoming heartbreak.

Time to go buy some fucking clown makeup.

---

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Charity Heist: @foxyjwls007 @seppys-return-to-madness @stoneyggirl2 @ladysparkles78 @twinkleinadiamondsky @tmb510 @mimaria420

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Forever tags will be added as reblog.

[rametarin]

Abuse that leaves mental scars.

A little technique my mother used to be abusive without being physical, was to demand attention- and then refuse to let it go.

It's understated and subtle, but deliberately premeditating to waste somebody's time and attention is extremely sadistic. Especially if you demand their presence so they can't function or do anything outside of their obligation to listen. Forcing someone to listen and divide their attention in such a way that they can't ignore you or even get around you, is a form of controlling behavior.

Just. Imagine an RPG game. Do you remember unskippable cutscenes and endless dialogue/text scrolls? Stuff that just seemed excessive, stuff that just put you to sleep trying to read through for any relevant information bits to compile. The frustration you felt waiting to see if there was any gems worth sifting through all the shit for- only to find nothing.

But you were not in a position to tell them to leave you alone or actually say anything of value, and they were in a position to make your life miserable for long periods of time if you weren't listening to every little thing they said. Being forced to wait until the end of their spiel, just to compile and determine that entire conversation served as nothing more than, "MEE!! ME ME MEEE!! MMMEEEEEEE!! HAHA, MEMEMEME. ME ME MEEEEEEEE."

To this day I can't focus on large amounts of information without a part of my spiteful self trying to tune out and save mental resources by trying to get to the end, trying to find some intuitive way to filter through all the unchecked gratuitous EGO creating big pockets of nothing in what someone is saying. When dealing with a narcissistic piece of shit, it's a survival tool just to prevent them from sucking your entire soul out of your body by demanding all your time and attention. Trying to function as an adult with long winded instructions for important things, it's like having dementia or time traveling through important conversations.

As a man, I cannot conceive of any use or premeditation of this systematic and deliberate form of mental abuse as anything but the most hateful of ways to interact with a person and pretend it's just a benign conversation. It's the sort of abuse you do in full view of anybody else and it just seems a little bizarre or rude, but in actuality it's a very persistent and antagonistic form of mental abuse. At least when a man punches you in the face, that's overt and obvious. It leaves marks.

Nobody considers what I just described coming from women to be a genuine form of abuse, because ascribing a kind of abuse to ways women interact with themselves or others is a taboo. I'd have to use non-gendered language, because god forbid women have a preferred pattern of abuse attributed primarily to them.

Instead of something like, "Hey, take out the trash," pure and sweet, simple, they prefer to start a conversation that requires 2-3 minutes of your time, demands you actually respond with more than a barked "Okay" or the conversational equivalent of hitting any button on the keyboard to prove you're listening and think about the worthless bullshit she's saying (and forcing you to value NOTHING for prolonged periods of time is part of the abuse) and then after you think the conversation is done, they revisit it like ressurecting an old forum post to CONTINUE what you thought was a settled conversation. Just, digging claws into you, and refusing to fucking let go.

So, what should be, "Take out the trash" becomes forcible stilted interaction and back and forth and banter and some disgusting asshole sitting on your precious time, refusing to budge until they get their pound of flesh from you.

And then they come back around to interrupt your life a few minutes later, about the same thing you thought you resolved. Now they've barged back in to interrupt, disrupt and paralyze.

And then again.

And again.

And again.

Subtlty, it's a way to deprive you of time and privacy until you get frustrated with them and just do whatever they want in a hurry in the hopes they'll just leave you alone. And if that happens to be the narcissists goal, sometimes that works. At the cost of teaching them that bending the knee to get them out of your hair gets them what they want. They don't have to demand, they can pretend they were being "gentle and non-invasive," and just torture you by being a cow on the railroad that refuses to move and just moos in your path, demanding to be placated or run over with violence to get them out of the way- but if you choose violence, that's your failure, and they'll impose those consequences by screaming to authorities.

But when they really want to antagonize you, it never stops at just a conversation about the trash; in fact, the trash is unimportant. It may not even require any relevant activity at all. It could just be them wanting you to interact with them on the subject of dinner tomorrow. It's about forcing you to interact and give them an essay of an answer before they'll be satisfied and leave you alone. It's not about actually wanting the information, it's about wanting your time and wanting you to invest effort into even a meaningless interaction with them, whatever you want or feel about it.

So, a little like when someone wants sex, and you don't, and decides to force you to do it via rape. Only, they just design to harass the shit out of you and use you "ignoring them" as a justification for harassing you. You don't want to converse? So they exploit any position they have that allows them to justifiably harass the shit out of you or demand your time until they get what they want. And in the meantime, it just spoils anything and everything you try to do with that time.

I grew so frustrated with this attention whoring and authoritarian harassment that I started hating music. I couldn't enjoy a single god damned song without my mother deciding she needed to swoop in and be the subject of observation and interaction instead, and it became impossible to enjoy anything. Everything becomes locked behind a coercive barrier, everything becomes distant behind a gate. And because of being unable to keep her out of my time and attention, I grew to despise what I could not just have in peace. It became easier to live without it, because trying to have it took too much labor to be of any worth.

I DESPISE being forced to labor, even if just mentally, for nothing. Absolutely detest to the point of violence people in positions to obligate me to do that, wish them incredible harm, wish for some legal circumstance that'd permit me the carte blanche to punish them for it. I despise being in a position where someone can extract my time or attention and give me nothing but pain for it, and all I an do is comply just to feel nothing at all as a reward.

[shards-of-silver]

This is one of those questions that I want to ask a lot of authors, because I curious how many answers will be the same (if any)

The the basic premise is Do You Control Fic or Does it Control You?

What I mean by this is broken down into a few sub questions

Do you watch a show or read a book & fic ideas just pop into your head?

Are you watching/reading something and you are unsatisfied with the plot, but love the characters, therefore, set out to fix it?

Do you intend to write fic from the start, so you go in search of inspiration?

Have you ever completely lost interest in the canon, but still love the characters/fic (therefore, no longer revisit the original source of the fic?)

As is usual, this is just a guide. Answer any which way you would like - long answers are always welcome!

Ooh, my first ask! This is so exciting. Thank you, @beebee-76 for including me in your survey! (Clears throat)

It can be easy to feel like fic controls you. When inspiration takes hold, it's like it's own form of possession. You think about fic in every quiet moment. Snippets of dialogue or descriptions come to you in the middle of the workday. Only when you have the inspiration committed to a piece of (digital) paper can the spirit lay at rest... until another one comes, that is. More often than not, you're haunted by several fic ideas at a time, each demanding it be their turn to gain a digital form.

At the same time, I've learned that I need to assert my own will in the fic writing process. As a younger writer, I took on ambitious projects that I lacked the skill to complete in a way that was faithful to the original concept. I wept over my weakness as a vessel for the inspiration that flowed out my fingers and fell lifeless on the keyboard. It's only thanks to the older, wiser writers who coached and believed in me that I've learned how to negotiate with creative spirits that take up host in me.

To write well takes consistency and discipline, neither of which the spirits alone can give me. Sometimes my ideas have to wait impatiently for the time when I can give them their best release. To lie dormant inside a writer's mind is not to die. It is to cocoon within for the day of its most beautiful winged form.

I'll take your sub questions in order. Sometimes fic ideas do pop into my head on first encounter with the source material, but it's not always (or usually) like that. I prefer to sit back and think about what I read/watch, which can mean I move slowly from one book/show to the next. Usually this means thinking about the characters, their motivations and relationships (platonic, familial, romantic, nemesis, you name it). I like to ask questions about what I see and read. For example, my most recent fic came from the question "What if Morgan Elsbeth had a legitimate reason for admiring Thrawn?" My fics are the answers to my questions that I find most satisfying. Sometimes I can control the questions I ask, but answers may well come unbidden.

For your second question, YES. All the time. If my longfics don't start as a fix it AU in the beginning, they often turn into one by the end of a story. I care about characters having arcs that match their development and progression, and it pisses me off when a character gets shoved to the side of a narrative or treated unfairly in the canon. The absolute worst for me is when one characterization is sacrificed to make another's seem better. If a writer can't make a character seem good without making another suck (suck in terms of writing quality, not necessarily in terms of morality), then they need to reflect on the writing choices that brought them to this point. The best stories are the ones that do justice to ALL major characters.

Funnily enough, I don't read or watch things in search of fanfic inspiration. First I try to enjoy things for their own sake. If I'm satisfied with the work as it stands, I don't feel a need to write any fanfic. Some of the best works I've encountered are things I feel I have nothing to add to. An easy example is Avatar: The Last Airbender. I got around to watching it in college over a decade after my friends had all seen it. It was so good that I felt like the series didn't need my contribution. Yet when I watched its sequel show The Legend of Korra, I was baffled by the horrid execution of otherwise compelling ideas. Hence my desire to write more fanfics for the show (most of which are still in planning/drafting stages).

For your final question, yes. This was the case with my very first fandom I ever wrote for: Winx Club. It was a show that held my imagination for a decade. I watched it as a little girl, rediscovered it as a young teen, and was saddened to see the show that had captivated me as a four year old WASN'T the pinnacle of fantasy writing I remembered it to be. Yet I was thrilled to discover many fanfic writers who loved the foundation of the source material and had no problems giving the story a remodel that allowed it to resonate with people over the age of eight. I haven't touched the source material ever since Netflix got their filthy hands on it, but I still treasure the fics I found back then and the friends I made as a result. My love for the characters is the only thing keeping me from formally abandoning a work that hasn't seen an update in this decade.

To summarize: fic can and has controlled me before, but the best fics are the ones where we (the fic and I) work together to make the best thing we can. I don't want the creative spirit to die when it no longer possesses me. I want it to feel empowered to find a new host, to grow and evolve long after I have checked the "complete" box.

[melancholy-marionette]

Hi! I just wanted to ask how your arm is doing? I hope you've been well;; -💌

That's really sweet of you :3 I can't lie, it's not great, haha. Everything feels so stiff and uncomfortable, and I managed to fall over trying to have a shower the other week, which only went and made things worse >.< haha. I really can't wait for the cast to come off. I had a checkup the other day, and the doctor said that it might be ready tome off at the end of April/start of May! And then I have to do physio to try and get some strength back in it x3 I'm just fed up more than anything because I don't like sitting around not being able to do stuff, and I don't like that my poor dad has to take over all my usual household chores and stuff when he's already tired after work because my brother refuses to help out. It's really not fair on my dad :( 

I've read a couple of books, and managed to binge the entirety of the His Dark Materials TV series xD And while I can't really position my laptop on me in a usable way, I can put my switch on the arm of the sofa and click 1 button for switch VNs, haha. So I've been playing a bit of Cafe Enchante awkwardly on there. I wouldn't say I'm madly in love with any of the characters, but I do love the world-building in it! It's the only VN I have on there though x3

Been watching all the lil birdies in the garden wishing I could go outside, haha. Just not in a great place atm cos not being able to properly distract myself, it means I'm being pestered by all my evil negative thoughts more often, and it's not fun x3

My dad did move some stuff out of the way the other day to help me try and sit at my PC again. It's super awkward to use a mouse and keyboard with one hand, and I can't control the mouse very well xD but I managed to edit my music video template and start making videos for the Bitter/Sweet OST, so that makes me feel a bit better that I've been sort of productive, even if not much :3 I'll be happy if I can get the first couple uploaded and manage to keep going with the rest.

I hope things are brighter for you atm at least :3 and that you got to have a happy Easter! Also hope your weekend is awesome <3

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

I know I’ve been offline for a while, but this whole month has been a rollercoaster and I feel like it's finally slowing down, so I figured I would give you a small life update before finally getting around to editing part 10! I haven’t gotten to read your new post, Eleanor, but that’s because I’ve been saving it as a reward for finishing up everything in part 11 and editing part 10 haha! I can’t wait to finally read it either later tonight or tomorrow!

Onto the more serious stuff, I suppose! Well, as I said in my last post, we started this month out getting rained on by our upstairs neighbors twice in the same week and someone damaging our front door locks (presumably to break in and steal while we were out). Great way to start February, I know! Thankfully, my brother Mike - technically, he's my sister, Honey's husband, but I call him my brother since we’ve known each other for so long - came over to fix the door and help us with our ruined ceiling tiles. Then, my great-aunt (91yo) got sick with the stomach bug and, while she is still recovering, she’s feeling well enough to not need someone with her 24/7. On top of staying with her for a while, I started three jobs in the first week of February (housekeeping and dog walking for a lady in town and PCA work for a bedbound woman in the area) only to have the first lady take my housekeeping hours away because she claims her mother could do it instead. Honestly, I was glad she took those hours back because I could barely tolerate the way that she was over my shoulder the entire time I was there. She knows that I've been a housekeeper since I was 16 and that I knew what I was doing, but I’ve come to discover that she’s a bit of a control freak in all aspects of her life, so I am more than willing to let someone else handle her housekeeping 😂

Next up, my sister, Honey, and her family got a new puppy named Vanya and she is the sweetest, most loving little crackhead in our family. She loves to snuggle and gives people dirty looks if they tell her she needs to go back inside, but she has a weakness for peanut butter and listens to whatever my niece tells her to do. Vanya isn’t even a year old and they've only had her for a short time, but I will hurt anyone who dares look at her wrong because she is the fluffiest little angel and I adore her

A small, more emotional dip in things came when my Uncle Doug came over with a truckload of all of my grandparents' and Uncle John's belongings. Uncle Doug moved into their old trailer before they passed and, since the three of them have passed away, he owns the house and wanted to see if we could go through all of their belongings since he is trying to fix the place up and has no space for everything. I don't know where he thinks we have the space for everything in our apartment, but we took it all nonetheless and used our old, practically unused computer room as storage as we went through 67+ years worth of my grandparents’ things. There were a lot of emotions for me and my mom to go through and even more things that my mom didn't know her parents and brother still held onto - my great-grandmother's high school diploma and things from her business among those items - but we really loved going through the disorganized chaos that was dropped on us on a random Thursday!

Now, onto today! After all of the chaos and stress that February brought us, I feel as though things are finally coming to a point where I'm ready to keep going with the way things had been. Today, Honey and Mike came over with my old laptop, told me to set it aside for a while, and brought me out to his truck where they showed me the project they had secretly been working on for months now: an actual PC just for me! It glows and so does the keyboard and mouse they got for me, and I just can't get over how cool it is! They told me it was much deserved because of all that I do for the people in our family, but I still don't see how even though the two of them and my mom took the time to explain it. I don't do any of the things I do for recognition or gifts, so it's very hard for me to accept such an insanely expensive gift for something I do out of love for my family and those around us. I know it certainly wasn’t cheap, I’ve wanted one for ages now and done hours and hours of research trying to find a good, cheap one. I suppose I'm still reeling from it all. It will definitely take me a while to adjust to everything, especially having a mechanical keyboard in place of my old laptop's keys, but I now have an actual desk and setup that I can write at and I couldn't be more excited to start this new chapter in my writing journey. It feels like a step in a better direction, if that makes any sense at all haha!

Anyway, I hope you aren't upset with me for taking this super long break; I really hadn't intended for it to be this long of a break, but I can't say that I didn't need it with everything else going on in my life. I should have the next part up soon after I get all of the editing done and get a moodboard made up for it. I just wanted to fill you in on all that's happened during my little break from everything on the internet. I can't wait to read your new story once I get everything finished! It should be a great reward after all the work I'll be putting into everything! I hope everything has been going well for you and that you have an amazing day! 💕😊

[etes-secrecy-post]

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

My GTA V Online Random Snapshot/Screenshot/Video [Jan 13th, 2023]

Hello, and welcome to my installment of Random Snapshot/Screenshot/Video in GTA V Online. Yup, I add ANOTHER part of my random media. Hehe!😁

• And in my first random post of 2023, I found something that I need.... *rubbing my hands* Hehehe... 👏😏

But before that, if you haven't watched by previous random post, then please [CLICK ME!].

My Recorded video (via XBOX Game Bar) ⏺️🎮🖥️: [Pls watch.] ↑

• Well, the snowy day is out, and everything is back to normal. Anyways, I'm now at the Palmer-Taylor Power Station to show you something interesting. You could see the icon of the "gun van", and this person sells existing weapons that you've already seen before, including armor vests & throwables. 🔫🦺🚛🧑 Except one, however, and that's the portable devastating "Railgun" ⚡🔫! That's right, we're now finally getting our hands on the futuristic "Railgun" in our online world (I meant, GTA V Online) after a LONG years of waiting & rumors spread. In fact, this energy blaster appeared a long, long, LONG time ago before the debut of the online version (specifically in 2013). Originally, this can be found in adversary modes, mission sessions, and also free roam missions, but we can't keep it in the free mode until 2023. So yeah, we've been waiting for nine "freaking" years 🗓️ (not ten) to purchase our own railgun from a guy who sells weapons at the back of the van.

• And, how much the Railgun cost? GTA$ 657,000! (others say GTA$ 730,000) It's freakingly expensive 😮💵, but, I'm happy to oblige. The railgun's ammo cost GTA$ 900 each, and it's capable of 20 shots. Mmmm... It's not bad. I also buy the "Combat Shotgun" 🔫 w/ suppressor & a flashlight, and also a "Knife" 🗡️because everyone wants a go silent throat kill with a knife, right? Anyway, once I owned a Railgun, it is now permanent in my weapon wheel. And if I need a reload my railgun then I could go to my "Interaction Menu" (by pressing "M" on the keyboard or holding the "Select" button on the controller) & select "Ammo".

Overall:

• Is it worth the wait for the Railgun in our weapon wheel? Absolutely! 😃 Again, we've been waiting for so long & our wishlist was granted by the developers. This could be an alternative solution just in case our Mk II weapons w/ explosive Ammos are rung out. And yes, this could be worst for griefers, tryhards, hackers, cheaters & other toxic players when using a Railgun. (they have "No Responsibility" 😡) *Sigh* I would prefer to stay away from players wielding a Railgun by switching "Passive". I would rather go "Solo" & enjoy wielding my own, thank you very much.😒

Important Note: If you want a buy the Railgun, then this video might help for you → [CLICK ME! #1]. And if you want to go deeper info (about the Railgun), then please [CLICK ME! #2], [CLICK ME! #3], [CLICK ME! #4].

Well, that’s all for now. And If you want to see my previous car prize, and more, then please → [CLICK ME!]. 😉

(Where do all the links go you may ask? I made a post about all GTA V Online-related links. This will prevent error save drafts, in my future post. Plus, I’m always updating my link post.)

Tagged: @bryan360, @leapant, @carmenramcat

(😡 Unwanted tresspassers are prohibited to see this!😡)