#cant even believe he looks just like him but speaks so improperly

[secondary-colorentimy]

KISHMIRGA ‼️🗣😡

literally WHAT is bro saying!!!?

[skatingbi]

Sighs...my taste in manga has evolved. Time for Kagurabachi

Also I cant sleep bc i have an interview in 11 hours so take this unedited contribution to the fandom

CW: Hakuri's childhood trauma and PTSD, descriptions of PTSD triggers and Anxiety

Hakuri cut his hair.

In hindsight (10 seconds ago) it was a stupid, impulsive decision made out of sheer anguish, anger, sadness, grief, and emotional instability. In all fairness, it was only the longer part of his hair, the part he wrapped with a ribbon to keep together and out of his face. He cut it too short, though. Now, it's choppy and anyone can see from a mile away that he cut them with paper scissors he found in a drawer near the kitchen.

He doesn't really remember how he got here, only that he looked in the mirror. He saw his siblings staring back at him, disappointed, disgusted, apathetic towards him and then he felt the bruises that have since been long gone from his skin. He felt the crooked fingernails, the bones improperly healed in his hands shaking from how tense he got so quickly.

He felt fear.

Now, his hair is choppy on one side. Tears well up even more and he realizes that he's been crying. Looking in the mirror again, it's just him, the scissors, his red face and puffy eyes staring back and his god awful haircut.

He hears the front door open and close and in a stupid attempt to hide himself he slams the bathroom door shut. Shortly after locking it, he hears Chihiro's voice amongst everyone else's usual chatter.

"Hakuri?" He calls out, and he feels his footsteps grow closer. Hakuri's hands tremble, dropping the scissors. He doesnt know what to do. He knows Chihiro wont get mad, maybe Char will laugh at his hair for a bit. Unfortunately, his rational mind hasnt caught up yet. Its far behind in the race to claw out the hair from the sink and throw it in the small trash bin in the corner. Theres a knock at the bathroom door and Hakuri jumps at the sudden noise.

"Hakuri? You okay?" Chihiro asks, voice laced with concern through the door. It takes a moment for Hakuri to try and compose himself, clearing his throat enough to reply, "Yeah-Yeah I'm fine!"

Chihiro clearly doesnt buy it, "You dont sound okay," The door knob rattles softly, "Can you open the door?"

Hakuri shakes his head before he realizes he needs to speak, backing away from the door, but then deciding against it with how rough his vocal cords feel, "I...I messed up, Chihiro," He admits, another sob escaping him before he can stop it.

"I'm not hurt! Promise! I just-just messed up and it looks bad and I dont want you to judge me."

Silence stretches for only a few seconds, and Hakuri swears he hears Chihiro's breathing through the door.

"Hakuri, I swear to you I will not judge," Chihiro's voice is low and reassuring, more than Hakuri believes he's deserving of right now, "Let me in?"

He doesnt know how Chihiro can just give promises like that to him when theyre so rare. Its a moment of raw vulnerability that he's displaying, all for the sake of making sure Hakuri is okay. The ugly part of him tells him he doesnt deserve it, that he's better off staying locked in the bathroom and telling Chihiro to leave. That rational part of him knows it wont work, that its not true because the man on the other side of that door believes he deserves more.

He unlocks the door, but cant bring himself to open it, so Chihiro meets him halfway and slowly opens the door to enter the bathroom, closing it behind him before looking up.

Theres a longer stretch of silence, Chihiro's expression doesnt show any hint of what Hakuri is looking for. He's indifferent, but thats his normal look. He watches with ingrained perceptiveness as the other's eyes dart around cautiously before landing on the evidence of his unfortunate haircut and mental breakdown.

"Ah, you cut your hair." Thats all chihiro says before bending down to pick up the scissors, placing them on the sink's counter carefully. Hakuri can only stare at the floor and nod. He can feel tears threatening to form again and now he feels like crying for two reasons instead of one. His head hurts.

Theres a hand on his shoulder, thumb just barely touching his neck and Hakuri has to fight back the instinct to run. Chihiro notices, but his hand stays right where it is as a soothing presence amist the last dregs of his breakdown plaguing his brain.

"Its not that bad, you just need to even it out," Chihiro states, "I can cut it for you, if you want." The offer stands as an out for Hakuri. Chihiro does those a lot, where he'll offer to do something for him but give him the verbal reassurance that he can leave or say no whenever he wants to. He considers it for a moment, before squashing down his shame and giving a shallow nod.

"Stay here, I'll get proper scissors." Then Chihiro disappears from the room.

Hakuri sits on the toilet lid in the meantime, exhaustion slowly creeping in as he starts to remember bits and pieces of the episode. He remembers Shiba telling him about how some people have them when they're healing from trauma of some kind. Lately, he's had more than usual, mostly at night in his nightmares or when he's so anxious he cant sleep and has to pace around the tiny room to tire himself out.

He remembers Shiba telling him about what exactly he's going through, too.

"Its called PTSD. A lot of people have it, especially because of the war. Make no mistake, though, kid. Anyone can have it, and its a bitch to deal with, but eventually you learn how to live in spite of it."

That conversation was mentally taxing, he thinks. He wonders if this is a part of that, too. Could he have stopped it? Been normal? Or maybe he could have fought back, even if it ended in something miraculously worse than mental scars.

He doesn't hear Chihiro enter the room again, but he does make his presence obvious by standing in front of him, startling Hakuri from his thoughts.

"If you change your mind, even halfway through, just tell me," Chihiro whispers as he kneels down before Hakuri.

"Okay, I promise," He whispers back, voice shaky once he feels calloused hands brushing through his hair. Chihiro gives him a small smile, one of those rare ones that never see the light of day. For one quick moment Hakuri thinks about how he wants to see Chihiro smile more.

The hair cutting is simple, and Hakuri has to close his eyes unless he'd rather blink away the small bits of hair that fall onto his face. He sputters a bit when some get in his mouth and it makes Chihiro huff whats his own version of a laugh, just a small puff of air what would be seen as mild sarcasm to most people. It feels like hours of Chihiro's hands carding through his hair, his hands gently brushing the hair away from his eyes, the sound of scissors snipping through the choppy bits of Hakuri's remnants of what he remembers seeing in the mirror.

He opens his eyes when Chihiro puts down the scissors, and is met with the man's own eyes staring. He doesn't want to look away yet. When he's letting his guard down, even for a fraction of a second, there's a softness to him that's impossible to ignore. Hakuri wants to take it in, maybe even ingrain it into his mind like a polaroid for him to keep forever. He doesn't want to look in the mirror yet and Chihiro wont ask him to.

"Thank you," He murmurs, still looking at Chihiro and the deep red eyes that crinkle minutely. He notices then that maybe Chihiro has been smiling more than he thought.

"Are you feeling alright enough to leave the bathroom?" Chihiro asks, standing and offering a hand that Hakuri takes so he stands with him.

"Yeah. I think so," He yawns, "Tired though."

"Thats okay, I'll let the others know not to disturb you." Hakuri nods in acknowledgement. Chihiro guides Hakuri to leave the bathroom with him and doesnt leave his side until Hakuri is lying on his futon in their tiny shared room that they're borrowing from Hinao.

Once comfortable with the sheets up to his chin and facing Chihiro, who stands in the doorway still, he smiles. It's a small one, tired and grateful for the other's presence and help through an ugly moment.

"Hakuri?" Chihiro's voice betrays his's stoic expression.

"Yeah?" His own voice wavers, too.

"If you ever have an episode again and need help, call for me or Shiba." Chihiro says, setting his voice so there's no room for negotiation. He's serious, and that rattles Hakuri a little.

"Okay, I will," He answers back, hoping to gain the bravery to ask for help for something like this. Chihiro nods and shuts the door behind him shortly after leaving.

[atiny-piratequeen]

Also since some of yall won't hear the blacktiny side of this debacle, lemme hit you with the Hongjoong and Ateez side of this (bc from some of the anons, yall are putting Hongjoongie over Blacktiny and apparently this is the only way I can get through to some yall hardheaded and borderline or full on racist asses)

KQ following in the footsteps of bigger companies before them and putting Hongjoong in braids (several times, looking at those new photos hnn) isnt good for Hongjoong, Ateez, or KQ.

Looking back at bands who have had the same thing done and gone through similar cultural appropriation incidents (i.e, BTS, EXO, Blackpink, Red Velvet, Stray Kids, Mamamoo, iKon, NCT (all units, including the recent WayV incident), etc ), you not only insult your fans by mocking their culture and/or using them for a costume, you also sever ties with a lot of potential fans and on the business end of it, thats a completely unessesary loss.

To this day, even after apologies, bands that have gone this path STILL have people who wont even touch the band because of their cultural appropriation. Everyone is different, but at the end of the day, poc are not REQUIRED to forgive companies and bands and swallow the pill, so to speak, when these topics come up.

Understand when I say what I'm about to say that I dont condone bullying, but I am using the previously mentioned incidents as examples but

To. This. Day. Even after apologies and what appears to be understanding and remorse from companies and artists, both fans and 'antis' will still bring up these cultural appropriation incidents. Even YEARS after its passed and if there was no repeat offense in between. Again, i in no capacity am condoning bullying or threats, but to this very day idols like Bang Chan (SKZ), Taeyong (NCT), Namjoon (BTS) are recieving threats and constant harassment for mistakes made previously because companies refuse to learn.

KQ set Hongjoong up for some bullshit, and all of this is completely and utterly unnecessary.

Now, unpopular opinion or whatever, but I still hold to my opinion that Hongjoong did not want this shit. He has been nothing but sincere about his intentions to connect with Atiny of all cultures and build a strong relationship with us. I very seriously doubt he was in agreement to this.

That being said, it is perfectly okay to still be disappointed. In him, in KQ. He by no means deserves hate, but as someone who is not only a blacktiny, but also Hongjoong biased myself, anyone disappointed in him is valid in being as such.

On the same hand, I'd like us all to keep in mind that Hongjoong is an idol. And I know a lot of us in the west have a very western view on things, but at the end of the day, we have to understand idol culture and companies are different from over in the west.

These idols may have *some* creative freedoms and control, some more than most, but at the end of the day, unless they completely run their own company and make their own rules, they do not have full say in what happens to them and their careers.

Idols have been very vocal about this in the past. And again, I'm in no way saying idols are completely helpless or that *some* of them dont actually see the error in their ways (plenty of idols really are just,,,problematic, no company bullshit needed), but I ask yall, if bands that have been around half a decade or more still dont have full creative control over their lives and careers, what makes yall think Hongjoong (if he didn't want these braids, which I strongly believe he didnt) could actually say no to the company holding him and his whole band in their hands and stand a chance?

I cannot stress that I'm not telling people they cant be mad or hurt *at* Hongjoong, but I'm seeing a lot of people saying he could've just "walked out of the chair" "hes a grown man, he can say no" and??? Not really no he cant???

Moving on to the reason a lot of these companies give when we raise hell about CA (if they bother to respond to), thats rooted in so many problems.

They say they put (African) braids or dreadlocs in idols hair because its "cool" or "makes them look tough" or some shit.

It fits an aesthetic. Thats why. Because it fits a hood aesthetic.

I really shouldn't have to explain to yall the problem in using someone else's culture to fit an aesthetic, but since this always comes up, allow me to tell yall a bit of why thats a problem.

The braids come into play when they want their idols, (mostly rappers, a role adopted from black culture) to look "gangsta"/"tough"/"intimidating"/or 🙄🙄🙄"urban". They take hairstyles from black culture to fit an image thats ~intimidating~.

Our braids, our dreads (which, again, to some rasta peoples, is a RELIGOUS symbol and SACRED) are temporarily put on these idols so people can gasp and go "ooo intimidating."

Historically, black people who wear their hair in braids or dreads are turned down from jobs, assaulted wrongly, looked at with prejudice, or down right murdered for the same idea. Nonblack people are historically more intimidated by a black person with hair in braids or in dreads because media portrays black people who dont have short cuts or straightened hair as someone to be feared.

Our braids, they're protective styles.

Our dreads, also protective, sometimes religious.

Our hair isnt for us to look "cool" or "intimidating". That whack ass excuse doesnt work. Companes are in their 4th generation of kpop and refuse to learn from the mistakes of past companies and generations. Yall use our culture (and brown and latinx cultures) improperly and when we tell yall why its wrong, we're pushed aside by our own fandoms or the companies we're constantly giving money to.

We're not asking for an arm and a leg. We're asking for yall to listen to us and not blatantly spit in our faces. We matter just as much as East Asian and white fans.

Also, not nearly as relevant as most of this post, but standing with blacktiny and our allies for this voting really shouldn't be as controversial and hectic as it is.

Thanxx and Inception are amazing songs. Thanxx is not going to disappear if yall vote Inception. It literally means Inception will be the TITLE song, therefore the song getting the MOST attention out of the two, which is important because you're not forcing blacktiny to have to deal with a whole promotional period of pushing a mv where our culture is blatantly being disrespected. Thanxx as a B side is not the end of the world. No, people shouldn't be rude to you about the voting, but I ask that yall please take that into account when we ask you to vote Inception.

Stay hydrated. Listen to your neighbors when they're talking about their cultures and their pain. Thanks