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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 7 months

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Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 33: Rumblr (SMUT)

Season 5 Masterlist

*Welp, we now all know what's happening in Danger Force Season 3. Am I happy? No. Do I want the writers to wake up to a million insects in their underpants? Yes. Can I do anything about it? Nope.

I'll figure out a way to make it work when we get to that, but for now, SMUT FOR EVERYONE. It's a little further down, so I'll tell you when to dim your brightness and order your mum to go away, so enjoy this one! Needy, moody, sad, and grumpy Ray is my favourite <3

Everyone knew that Captain Man was meant to be a legend.

When the people of Swellview talk in the future, his name will be mentioned in awe. He will be in the hall of fame, one of the greats, a hero revered by children after hearing all the grand stories from their elders.

For Ray, his job was control. It was freedom dripping from his fingertips, an ichor promising him eternal youth. For Ray, being a superhero was everything magical and thrilling.

But loving (y/n) was like breathing. He needed her.

She was more, everything magical and beautiful and extraordinary, and for whatever reason or whatever good deed he did in a past life, she was his. His sweet girl. The one he was going to marry.

And she was gone.

Not gone gone. Just away. A family reunion in her home town - a big event that demanded her presence, no matter how much she insisted that her job wouldn't let her leave so easily.

(y/n) hated those reunions. It was just a chance for her snooty aunties to ask where her wedding ring and children were, for her cousins to pry into her elusive job, and for her parents to wonder why that nice young man she was marrying couldn't attend. She hated the constant questions and distasteful jokes, even if they were her family, but she hated leaving him more.

They'd both agreed that it was for the best. Someone had to stay to protect the city; Captain Man and Miss Danger simultaneously couldn't be away, so Ray waved her off, promising he'd cope in her absence.

Have fun, see your family, and don't worry, sweet girl. We'll be okay here, he'd said.

Unfortunately, he wasn't okay, and he certainly couldn't cope.

Ray fell apart when she got in the cab, watching until the car disappeared past the horizon, instantly wishing he could kiss her one last time. After that, he returned to the Man Cave, convinced he'd be okay. It was only a few days, and she never got to see her family because of him, so it was right to let her go. At least, that's what he told himself.

"He's miserable..."

"Oh yeah, he's definitely pining for her." he heard Henry and Charlotte whisper the next day, watching him mope around the room with a scowl on his face. The place was too quiet, and all the rooms seemed too dark without his darling girl's sunshine to brighten them. She was his wife - or she would be - and he hated being separate from her.

Four days later, his situation nosedived into pure hell as time passed. There was no point in getting dressed; his fiancée wasn't here to see him, so pyjamas it was. There was no point brushing his hair and teeth; she wasn't there to kiss or fuss over his handsome looks. There was no point in shaving; he didn't want to go outside. The world would go on without Captain Man, but he couldn't go on without his sweet girl.

That's how he ended up on the ratty, old couch in Junk-N-Stuff, stuffing stale cereal into his mouth and drinking milk from the carton. Despite his melancholia, Jasper couldn't move him - he was still the boss, even if he wasn't acting like one. He crashed there on the third day, clad in a dirty t-shirt, pyjama bottoms and a dressing gown because his bedroom reminded him of (y/n) too much.

So, the boy was reduced to serving customers, apologising for the tramp in the corner, and dodging around the mess he made.

"Wake up, lil' snoozy!" Jasper exclaimed as he used a handheld vacuum to clean up the cereal the man had spilt down his front. Just because this was a junk store didn't mean they had no standards, something (y/n) had taught him from day one. Oh, how she'd hate to see her doofus now.

"Jasper, turn it off! It's too early for vacuuming," Ray snapped, wishing to be left alone to wallow in his self-pity. His body ached, longing for his sweet girl and the completeness she brought him, but he knew she was far away and doing much better than him.

He waited for her to phone him every night, and like clockwork, she did. He played it cool, acting like he was functioning like a normal human being when he asked about her day, who she'd seen, and what she'd done. He didn't tell her how much he missed her; he didn't want to spoil her trip. As long as she thought everything was okay and she was happy, he could last until she came home.

Until then, he hugged her pillow at night, pretending it was her in his arms, and when the clock struck three, the first tears fell. Every single night she was away.

God, he missed her. God, he was a mess. And god, he made a pathetic sight.

"It's three in the afternoon," the boy replied candidly, glancing across the store as he awkwardly hovered near the man. A shower or a change of clothes wouldn't hurt him, and he wished he'd stop shovelling the old cereal into his mouth, but Ray wouldn't listen.

"If that were true, Junk-N-Stuff would be open!" He grumbled, having dozed the day away since his heart stopped aching only when he was asleep, but even then, his dreams featured a radiant beauty giggling and calling him her doofus.

Was he sad? Possibly. No one else ever became so depressed when their partner left for a few days, but this wasn't just a partner. This was (y/n) he was talking about, and for as long as he could remember, she'd always been there. Not having her around felt unnatural now, like a piece of him was missing.

"It is," Jasper revealed in a frustrated voice, and Ray opened his eyes enough to see what he meant. Jasper felt sorry for the man, knowing how not a day went by when he didn't see (y/n), so this was a rare experience for him.

Still, customers had been complaining about him all day. The old lady waddling through the store, staring at him curiously, wasn't different. No one needed to see him in his dirty, crusty grandpa slippers.

"I like your robe. Can I buy it?" The strange lady requested, making Jasper frown. He didn't want to think of the last time it had seen a washing machine; (y/n) wore it once last week, meaning Ray didn't want to wash away the memory of her in it.

"No," he scoffed. It was comfortable and faintly smelt like her perfume, giving him succour whenever he nosed the collar. How could he give it away when he remembered how cute she looked as it dwarfed her on the couch?

"I'll give you two bucks," the lady proposed, eying up the cheap fabric.

"...Deal," Ray sighed. As much as he loved the memory, he wasn't in the mood to argue and couldn't bear any reminders of his beloved fiancée, so he threw his box of Captain Man's Her-ohs! cereal to the side and stood up to strip off the robe.

"Okay, let me just get your real money from right here in my not-empty purse..." she said slowly, rummaging in her bag to convince the scruffy man she'd pay him when in reality, she had no intention of giving this schmuck anything. Ray didn't see through the deception, though, handing over the clothing without a second thought since they were clouded by his loneliness.

However, the second she took the dressing gown, her sweet, little old lady act dropped, much like Ray when she used her meagre strength to push him to the floor. After four days of eating nothing but crap, Ray was wobbly on his legs, and his grief didn't help, meaning he fell like a domino into a crumpled, teary heap.

"See ya, sucker!" The woman hissed through her false teeth, sneering at the man as he slumped against the dusty rug, making no attempt to get up or fight back. What was the point? He could feel Jasper's stare but couldn't care less when everything felt floppy. His world had lost its colour - it faded when she left in a taxi.

"That lady stole your robe!"

"So what? (y/n) always said it was ugly, anyway..." he muttered, nuzzling into his arm before slowly shuffling onto his knees. He sniffed at the mention of his sweet girl, wondering if she was having fun with her younger cousins or hearing family tales from her granduncles. He wished he'd gone with her, but he didn't know her loss would make him feel like this.

"She's getting away!"

"Ehhhh, who cares? I'll just steal a robe off someone else later. Circle of life," Ray shrugged, plonking back down on the couch to return to his cereal. (y/n) was due back at the end of the week anyway, so he might as well eat his feelings. Y'know, instead of calling and telling her how much he missed her.

"Actually, she's having some trouble getting up the stairs, so...still time to get it back before you do something (y/n) wouldn't approve of," Jasper said, watching as the old woman tried to get her aching joints and creaking knees up the few steps to the door, but her hip replacement couldn't do it.

He knew the man was lost without his soulmate, but he wouldn't steal anything from anyone. He didn't have the heart or energy.

"Oh, I don't care about a crappy---" Ray argued, his words slurring at the end, proving the kid's point. He couldn't be bothered to do anything, so the pensioner made her getaway, skulking out of the store with the stinky robe bundled in her arms. Well, that was the last time he'd see that.

"What's wrong with you?!" Jasper snapped, knowing the answer, but he wanted to hear the man admit it. He swore he was fine, viciously bit off anyone's head who mentioned his fiancée, and insisted he wasn't missing her. What a load of shit.

"Nothing!" Ray whined, chewing more cereal before looking down and seeing how grubby he looked, "clean my shirt."

"You know, if you're missing (y/n), you could just call her," the teen suggested, sighing as he stepped forward and began vacuuming whatever unknown chunks clung to his off-white t-shirt. Ray glared at him; his heart clenched at imagining her voice again, hearing her soothe all his worries, telling her he hated being so far away from the love of his life. But how could he be so selfish?

"No, thank you. (y/n)'s with her family... She won't want me to ruin the celebrations, so it's better if I--I'm fine. Fine. Totally fine, so leave it," he stammered, realising he was letting his true feelings slip too much and to Jasper.

In all the years he'd known (y/n), she'd been away plenty of times for various reasons, and every time, he'd always survived. However, he just wished he remembered how much it always sucked.

"Four days, man..." Jasper sighed and continued cleaning him up, shaking his head at his bullheadedness. He knew the heroine was probably feeling the same way, longing for her doofus, but neither would say it, so he said nothing.

"Ray!" Suddenly, a shout came from the back room, and Henry, Piper and Charlotte ran into the room. They burst through the beaded curtain, panting and tired from sprinting into the elevator, but they needed their boss. Their whining, lonely, pathetic boss.

"We've got an emergency call."

"The Toddler just escaped from Swellview Prison," Piper described, thinking it was a difficult situation, given the notorious criminal, but Ray didn't even bat an eyelash. No point in fighting crime when Miss Danger wasn't there to look all pretty and hot by his side.

"He greased himself with baby oil, and no one could grab him!" Charlotte added, hoping to inspire some energy into the man, but he shoved another handful of Her-ohs! into his mouth.

"Ha! Slick move. Let's bounce!" Henry chuckled, satisfied with his little pun, but his jovial mood soon stopped when Ray stayed on the couch. He'd had enough of this; the moping, the crying, the snappy mood, and how every emergency had fallen to him. He might as well have taken the flight with (y/n).

"Ah, who cares about The Toddler? We catch him, and we throw him in jail. Six weeks later, he's back out on the street..."

"Are you still sad 'cause (y/n) left for her family reunion? Dude, it's been four whole days!" Piper exclaimed, thinking Charlotte was joking when she mentioned that Captain Man didn't do well without his other half. This took the biscuit, though,

"I don't miss her! Why do people keep saying that?!" Ray hissed, throwing a fistful of grained hoops in her direction. Of course, he fucking missed her, but he couldn't say it out loud. They'd phone (y/n) and inform her of how sad he was; his pride couldn't bear that. It was just a little heartache, nothing he couldn't handle.

"'Cause you look disgusting and have done ever since she left," Charlotte retorted in her classic dry tone. Little did he know that (y/n) was counting down the seconds until it was socially acceptable to leave, divulging to the girl that seeing her family meant nothing if he wasn't with her - the family she had to choose.

"I know what to do..." Henry whispered to the girls, aware his boss was too stubborn to say anything else. Out of everyone, he had the most experience with man-child tantrums, and he had a rough idea of what to do. Fair enough, he didn't have a sweet touch but was trying his best.

With his sister and friend watching him curiously, the boy kneeled beside his boss, who didn't take much notice, even when a mysterious beat came out of nowhere. Maybe it was cringy, but singing worked before, all those months ago when Frankini cursed Swellview and Ray skipped town.

"Remember when you took The Toddler, bro?" He started the song, slowly looking up at the man's brooding face, hardened by his ten o'clock shadow and unimpressed stare. Despite it being his best effort to try and cheer him up, Ray didn't appreciate the gesture, shutting it down before the second lyric could leave Henry's lips by throwing cereal in his face.

"I don't need the Pump-Up Song!" Ray snapped, standing up with a sweeping fury. He gulped down what he needed; an urge to admit he was lovesick and to hear his sweet girl's reassuring voice. But what if that wasn't the only thing?

"I need new guys to fight!" He growled, throwing his hands up as he crossed the store. That raised a few eyebrows and made the kids look at each other because Captain Man was out of action. After all, Miss Danger was too. No one said anything about this twist - the fact that he'd grown tired of a twenty-year-old routine was a surprise.

"You mean you need (y/n) to come back and cuddle you?" Piper proposed, assuming he was making excuses or something. However, the look he threw her could kill, indicating he didn't appreciate the hint he was a loser. He was a loser, but not just because his fiancée was out of town.

"I. Am. Fine! I'm just sick of fighting the same criminals over and over again. I'm bored!"

"And missing (y/n/n)," Charlotte remarked smugly, giggling because she knew it was true. But Ray wasn't joking. Yes, he ached for his pretty girl, but even crimefighting hadn't taken his mind off it. In the past, he used to throw himself into his work to distract himself from anything - his unrequited love to a disastrous date - but this time, it hadn't worked. The itch was still there, the one that told him to do something, but he couldn't scratch it.

"Charlotte, I swear--"

"Try going on Rumblr," Piper said before he could give her friend a good talking to, making his head tilt in a manner (y/n) would find adorable.

"Huh?"

"I can't help with (y/n), but try going on Rumblr," the brat suggested casually, shrugging because it was up to him to change his mood. All she could do was try and help him, and whilst she couldn't fly (y/n) home, she could try to find him a fight worthy of scratching the itch.

"What's Rumbler?" Ray asked, sounding like such an old person with his poor, elderly pronunciation, much to the amusement of the teens.

"Nah, it's Rumblr!"

"Yeah, Rumblr."

"It's an app."

"Called Rumblr." Jasper, Charlotte and Henry worked together to explain it to him. Perhaps not in the best, most efficient way, but it got through to Ray. Probably. He looked a little lost, making Piper chuckle since he got so confused when his precious fiancée wasn't around to spell things out for him in his old age.

"I sometimes forget how old he is..." She joked with her friends, causing the hero to grumble and set his lips in a firm line. Just because he was older didn't mean he was foolish; besides, he had experience, just not with these newfangled application things.

"What's Rumblr?" He asked, mushing the syllables together as they did, so he was down with the kids as he stood there in his disgusting t-shirt and grandpa pyjamas pants.

"Well, it's like a dating app, but instead of matching women with creeps, it matches heroes with villains," Piper explained, flicking the app up on her phone so he could see.

They didn't have things like this in his day, and Ray immediately doubted its credentials about why a villain would actively seek the law. Life was hard when he didn't have his darling girl around to help him, and it made him realise how used he was to have her around.

"Why would a villain want to find a hero?"

"Attention."

"Publicity.

"Yeah, think about it. Any bad guy that fights Captain Man ends up all over the news," Jasper said after the girls, describing how the hero brought the villain status and respect amongst their vicious circles. That's how The Toddler and Doctor Minyak gained notoriety, thanks to Captain Man, even if they never managed to defeat him, not even when he still worked alone.

"And if they actually beat you in a fight..." Charlotte started, making Ray scoff at such a thought. As if he'd let that happen--he was too awesome to let that happen, honestly.

"Boom! Evil sponsorship. They've just turned their villain hobby into a villain career."

"Yeah, well, no one's gonna beat me in a fight," the large man smirked cockily, tossing another cereal nugget into his mouth. Depressed, lonely or sad, he could still kick ass when needed. He just didn't want to do it when his sweet girl wasn't with him, something the kids saw straight through.

"Big talk from someone who's afraid to get on Rumblr," Piper sassed, earning some bemused noises from the group. They oohed at the man's wariness, making him wrinkle his nose and shuffle from foot to foot because it made him sound like a coward.

"I'm not afraid to get on Rumblr!" Ray snapped with his mouth full, putting his walls up again because he didn't like talking about his feelings. These were the kids he cared for (more than their parents) - they didn't need to hear his problems.

"I just like to meet villains the old-fashioned way, that's all. I bump into them at a crime scene, we start to banter a little, my sweet girl says something clever, one thing leads to another, and suddenly, I'm fighting this bad guy, and it's amazing," he fantasised, crinkling the box in his hands.

He could practically taste the scene. It was dark, dingy, and disgusting - everything a hero loves. Miss Danger and Kid Danger were by his side, fighting for their lives--everyone in Swellview's lives, and it was all explosions, adrenaline, and danger as they threw punches, kicks and insults at the bad guy. That's how battles were meant to go...

"Yeah, dude, that's not how villains and heroes meet these days," Henry chuckled, deeming his boss so stuffy with his rose-tinted views on heroic meet-cutes.

"Yeah, well, it should be!"

"Just try it. Get the app, make a profile, and put yourself out there," Charlotte told him. She knew he was nervous; doing something like this without (y/n) was out of his comfort zone, and he wouldn't have her to turn to, but they were with him. All he had to do was take the first step.

"I don't know... (y/n) normally helps me with this sort of thing..." Ray muttered, scuffing his foot against the floor, but they heard him clearly - maybe felt a smidgeon of sympathy for him.

"Ray, what if your perfect villain is out there waiting for you right now? What if you could introduce them to (y/n) when she gets back?" Jasper came forward, placing a warm hand on his shoulder as he tried to offer the guy a tiny sliver of hope. He smiled at the thought of having his girl in his arms again, but then, he remembered whose hand was touching him, and then, well, his imagination got the better of him.

"Yeah, well, what if I end up fighting some guy I don't even like, and I accidentally spill mustard on my butt, and he spends the whole evening calling me Mustard Butt?! What then?! Huh? What then?! I can't tell my sweet girl about that!" He exclaimed, rambling as he thought about everything that could go wrong.

No matter how improbable, they were still mortifying and not something he'd want (y/n) to know about.

"Did that happen to you before?" Charlotte asked, thinking that scenario sounded too detailed to be a fevered imagining.

"No!" Ray denied, gazing into his cereal box, even though it made him seem guiltier.

"Because that's a very specific concern."

"It didn't happen!" He insisted, nibbling a little more as Henry smirked. It probably happened, and he would love to know which villain called him that, but they quickly moved on when he clammed up. The man was too shy to agree to anything and hated the thought of going alone, so Piper had a suggestion.

"What if you and Kid Danger went together?" She said, knowing her brother would support him and be his wingman. Ray still looked unsure; with something as tender and delicate as this, he needed his favourite girl, but Henry would have to do.

"What, you mean, like, go on a double fight?"

"Sure! Come on, man. How often do we even fight crime anymore? Maybe once a week? Only on Saturdays?" The kid smiled reassuringly, leaving the cash register to approach the man debating the offer, but could he go through with it without his sweet girl? Would she be mad knowing he went fighting without her?

"Listen, just come! It'll be fun! (y/n) would want you to do it! Come on, please!" Henry begged, wearing down his boss' resilience.

"Fine--okay!" Ray groaned, sniffing as he tilted the box into his mouth and drowned himself in cereal. Most of it went onto the floor, with only some going down his throat, but the teens didn't say anything. They didn't expect him to agree, making it a pleasant surprise that they'd get to create his Rumblr profile and find him a hot fight.

"Great! Aw, man, seeing you like this again is so good! You've been such a loser since (y/n) left!" Henry grinned, slapping his older friend on the arm as he finished his snack and looked at him dryly. Swallowing the dry grain with a wince, he turned to the children, who giggled at what the kid said - nothing but the truth.

Ray, of course, didn't see it that way. He clutched the box tightly and stared at each of them, sighing when their mischievous smiles didn't budge. Piper made kissy noises, making her boss blush and growl because he didn't like the taunting as much as he didn't like the implication that he fell to pieces when his wife left.

"I am not a loser! God, you make it sound like I can't function when she leaves!"

"Well, you can't! Just look at yourself. Without (y/n) around, you get all grumpy, gross, and moody," Charlotte replied, gesturing to his grotty clothes, unshaven face, and tousled hair.

Ray looked down at himself and shrugged, thinking it had been a rough few days, and he didn't have to be perfect. And the correlation between his mood, appearance and (y/n) was nonsense. Girls occasionally left their lovers, and nothing happened to them, so why were they convinced by this narrative that he wasn't sleeping, eating or living correctly? Perhaps because it was true.

"Look, I loved her for ten years and survived whenever she left!"

"That was when you were a chicken! Now, you don't spend a single minute apart from your sweet girl, meaning now she's gone, you've become a loser!" The girl chuckled, watching as the man grew increasingly frustrated, throwing his hands in the air as their words got to him. All too real words - so true he struggled to admit they were wrong.

"Yeah, and it's only been four days. Imagine how much he'd miss her if she went for two weeks?" Piper added, sharing a smile with her friend as Ray lamented the thought.

He wanted her so much. At least she was with him all those years ago, so far yet so close, and he could revel in her friendship. They were correct, though; back then, he lived with the heartbreak of believing she didn't love him every day. Maybe he was too spoilt nowadays, waking up to her in his arms every morning, safe, soft and smiling. Perhaps he'd grown too accustomed to such niceties, or possibly, his perfect girl made him weak-hearted.

Ray wasn't sure. All he knew was that he couldn't give them the satisfaction of his confession that he was indeed a loser.

"Oh my god! I don't need (y/n) to function because I certainly don't miss her! Why won't anyone accept that I am fine?!"

"Well, I beg to differ from where I'm standing, doofus," a gentle voice suddenly said from behind him, making everyone look over in shock as the T-Rex roared fire and the door opened.

It was like time had stopped. There, in the doorway, smiling brightly, dressed in mismatched, rumpled clothing, and looking like she'd been to hell and back (or an airport), was (y/n) in all her glory.

A small, floral-print suitcase was by her feet, a raincoat tucked under her arm, and another bag hitched over her shoulder as she stood there excitedly at finally coming home, although earlier than expected. A tugging on her heartstrings told her a week was too long, and besides, her family had driven her up the wall from day one. Why stay when she'd already had enough after the first dinner?

"(y/n/n)! Didn't expect to see you home until at least Tuesday!" Henry remarked, grinning as brightly as her as she laughed and glanced at her feet, obviously quite bashful at her dramatic entrance.

Oh, Ray's face was an absolute picture. His mouth was propped open slightly, and perhaps he was drooling slightly at the pretty sight she made, although Henry couldn't tell. He'd gone pale and silent as he took her in, blinking furiously to check she wasn't some melancholy-induced dream, but no. His sweet girl had come home, and she, wearing a faded hoodie and her oldest pair of jeans, looked drop-dead gorgeous.

"Eh... My aunts had a fight with one of my uncles over divorcing their sister for the babysitter. Just another happy family reunion, so I decided to cut it short, and I'm glad I did," she shrugged, dismissing the memory of seeing a man plead for his...unmentionables since she'd yet to go to a family event where there wasn't a punch-up. Next time, however, she'd definitely take her husband - she hoped he'd be - considering how goddamn awful he looked.

"I leave for four days, and everything goes to pot? Oh, Raymond..." she said softly, meeting his big, sad eyes as she draped her coat and bag over her case, hoping to take all the pain away now she was back.

She'd never seen him like that - not even in the old days when he returned from another failed date. Not even the prettiest model used to make him fall to pieces after dumping him, so she was shocked to see her doofus in the filthiest of clothing, having not bothered to get dressed, surrounded by a puddle of cereal she swore she'd thrown in the trash, and looking like a hobo with his rough stubble.

She moved to walk down the steps, to take him into her arms and assure him she had no intention of leaving in the foreseeable future, to fuss over him for not taking care of himself simply because she was out of town, but she never got the chance to.

In the blink of an eye, Ray, having regained the use of his brain after it shortcircuited, dashed towards her at speed, becoming a blur for the kids as he was there one second and gone the next. (y/n) gasped as his arms circled her, his head buried in her chest since the stairs gave her a height advantage, but Ray didn't care. His strength allowed him to pull her up and keep her there, lifting his sweet girl off the floor as he crushed her in a tight hug born of desperation and yearning.

With her tiptoes hovering above the floor, the woman had no choice but to return it, offering no complaints, save that he really needed a shower, as she squeezed him and cradled his head to her neck. There was no way she'd ever leave again after the phone calls and late-night longing for the man she could hear but not see, feel or touch.

What was it her great aunt said?

"Husbands and wives are meant to be together, so separating them rarely makes the heart grow fonder. Just forgetful and bitter. It's unnatural... Plus, we're all dying to meet the man you daydream about. Don't think we haven't noticed, young'un. You've got a boy on your mind, and that ring says it all."

"I've missed you, (y/n). So much..." Ray confessed hoarsely into her skin, making her sniffle too when she felt his eyelashes wet her collarbone. How could she leave him when he was nothing but a sweetheart to her?

"I missed you too, doofus. Every day," she replied, watching the kids roll their eyes and shake their heads at his theatrics.

They'd tell her how many times he denied that over the past few days and why she couldn't ever leave again--to save their sanity. But, for now, they left the lovers alone to reunite, knowing they'd come down to the Man Cave in their own time once Ray convinced himself it wasn't just a dream.

He was still nuzzling into her body, inhaling lungfuls of her perfume and the distinct whiff of the taxi she'd taken from the airport, but he could ignore that. She was here; she was real, and he promised himself at that moment he'd never let her go again. The place wasn't the same without her, and he just couldn't cope.

"Welcome home, sweet girl..."

*DIM YOUR BRIGHTNESS. MOTHERS LOOK AWAY NOW. IT'S SMUT TIME. I know doing the boom-boom in the shower is impractical and fairly dangerous, but I don't care :)

5000 words of smut coming up, hot and steamy. literally.

As hard as it was to leave, a reunion between lovers was always special. It nearly made up for the restless nights and arduous days.

The plan had been to go straight downstairs and do the Rumblr thing for Ray - after he told his sweet girl about it. However, after hugging and kissing in Junk-N-Stuff for ten minutes, he and (y/n) discovered they weren't quite ready to mingle yet.

He kept stroking her hair, pecking her lips and whispering in her ear, apologising for falling apart without her around, but he added that he couldn't help it. Ray refused to set her down, preferring to keep her in his hold as he returned downstairs, fed up with the weird stares he got from the stuck-up customers.

After spending so long apart, he wanted to drop her on the bed and welcome her home properly, but as much as she wanted to be underneath him, (y/n) couldn't bear it. Not when he hadn't washed, shaved or changed his clothes in days.

That's how they ended up where they were now; in their en-suite with Ray standing at the sink. The basin was filled with warm water, his cheeks were sudsy from shaving foam, and his fiancée was sitting on the counter with a razor in her hand, helping him reach all the tricky contours of his face.

He could do it himself after thirty years of practice, but she wanted to, enjoying the closeness as his hands ran up and down her legs and he studied her features. She was so pretty, concentrating on not hurting him, even if the blades couldn't nick his skin.

"You could've called me, y'know?" (y/n) muttered as she swiped the razor down his cheek, wiping away the foam and stubble underneath. His hands stopped exploring her nude legs, squeezing her thighs after she'd stripped to her underwear for the intimate activity - jeans and a hoodie would just be uncomfortable.

"You didn't have to suffer in silence, doof. Especially after all those phone calls."

"You were busy eating stews and watching your family rip each other apart. Didn't want to get in the way," Ray replied quietly, closing his eyes and swallowing as she cupped his jaw to tilt his head upwards. Swishing the razor through the warm water, she went again, resting her free hand on his bare chest as she raked another stripe down his throat.

His stubble was sexy, rough and prickly against her skin, and secretly, (y/n) longed to feel it between her legs - an extra sensation- but it had to go. Captain Man was clean and polished, so she'd have to wait another day for her fantasy and let his wandering hands satisfy the fluttering heat growing in her core.

"You never get in the way, Raymond," she told him sternly, poking her tongue out cutely as she rolled the razor under his chin. "They were all asking about you, wanting to know where my hunk was..."

"Hunk? Would that be your Aunt What's-her-name? Should I be worried?" Ray chuckled, pushing his touch up the apex of her thighs so he could grasp her waist. He'd only met the old lady once, but she'd crooned over how handsome he was, asking for his arm whenever she needed to stand up and congratulating her niece on hooking such an attractive catch.

"Well, if she was thirty years younger...she still wouldn't have you because you're mine," (y/n) giggled, cleaning the razor again before leaning forward to kiss the clean section of his face. His skin was perfectly smooth underneath her lips, and when she pulled away, she saw Ray's intense, smouldering stare. He stared at her hungrily, feeling his yearning for her grow at her words and seeing her clad in practically nothing made it worse.

"Anyway, that was before she called Candy a man-stealing hussy."

"Did your uncle get his truck towed after they slashed his tires?" He asked, rubbing his thumbs over her hipbones as they swapped gossip. Maybe he would go next time, anything to see this drama in action...and hear all about how he'd pulled the loveliest girl in her hometown.

"After he put an ice pack down his pants, yeah..." (y/n) giggled, finishing him off before giving him a once over for any missed patches. Oh god, he looked so hot and clean-shaven, and her giggles died down when she rubbed his face with a towel and noticed his stare...

"All done?" Ray asked, lifting a hand to feel his smooth jaw, impressed when he noticed the excellent job she'd done. She nodded and set down her utensils, looking proud of herself as she felt the other cheek, chest...and abs. He was in his underwear, too, standing tall and broad between her legs as she pulled the plug, watching the water swirl down the drain.

"Yep... Glad my doofus is still underneath all that fluff."

"Hmmm... Think you deserve a reward, sweet girl," the man hummed, holding her steady as she slid off the counter, knocking some toothpaste over on her way down, but neither cared. Glancing down, (y/n) could swear the bulge in his briefs was more prominent than when they first started, and she longed to take him in her mouth again - for the first time in a week.

It had been too long since they were intimate, and he looked gorgeous, skin pressed against skin.

"Oh, yeah? What were you thinking?" She asked teasingly, squealing when his damp cheeks brushed against her neck as he kissed the skin there, sliding his hands around her to grab her ass cheekily.

"Shower with me?" Ray offered, smirking against her skin before biting down on her collarbone. (y/n) squealed at the sharp sensation, scraping her nails over his shoulders as he kneaded her flesh.

God, how he'd missed that sweet ass of hers, fondly pulling and squeezing her cheeks, landing a short, sharp spank on the right one. The tingle dragged another gasp from her, and she hooked a hand around the nape of his neck, bringing his lips down to hers. The man groaned at her taste, immediately upping the intensity to a near-makeout session as his hands left her ass to her hips and down her outer thighs.

It was so tempting to push her back onto the counter and spread her thighs to have her there and then, but it had been a long week, a long trip, and too long since he'd seen her naked. He had to get her in the shower. Now.

"Mmm, doofus... That's a tempting offer...and I happily accept," (y/n) grinned mischievously, breaking the kiss when their lungs burned and muscles ached. They panted in unison, breath mingling as he reluctantly released her - he had to; otherwise, he'd never get his wish.

"Come on then, darlin'," Ray muttered, pecking the space between her eyes before moving away from her, sights set on the spacious cubicle in the corner.

Ray wasn't one for decor; he could be put in a room with gold leaf walls, scarlet carpets, and tiger-print sheets, and he'd like it. Not because he enjoyed the gauche style but because he didn't care. Who cared about what a room looked like when it functioned perfectly fine? That's why he insisted on having the Man Cave's best bathroom. (y/n) came in with her woman's touch and did the decorating, and he chose the best shower money could buy.

Large, beautifully tiled with Schwoz's finest plumbing work and a big, multifunctional shower head that sprayed at different speeds and intensities. It even had a small, built-up ledge that acted as a seat--something he and his sweet girl made full use of many times.

It was the best shower, so he had no problem rolling his shoulders back, hooking his thumbs into the elastic band of his underwear, sliding it down, down, down--until they dropped to the bathmat near the sliding doors. Kicking them off without another thought, he opened the shower and began twisting the knob until the spray blasted to life.

"Fuck, that's cold--" he grunted when the icy water hit his hand, but it soon warmed, allowing him to dip his fingers in, then his wrist, forearm, shoulder, and chest, and then, he stepped in.

Behind him, (y/n) was smiling to herself, possibly looking insane, but she didn't care. Her doofus was in front of her, as bare as the day he was born, preparing the shower for them to share, so she could scrub away the airport and cab smell from her body. Who wouldn't feel blissful?

"You comin', sweet girl?"

"Of course, doof. Gimme a minute," she muttered, not bothering to unhook her bra and slide it down her arms properly. She had no time for that, impatient enough to yank it over her head like a t-shirt and let it fall to the floor.

Peering through the steamy glass, Ray hardened at the sight of her exposed, unashamedly staring at her body as she teetered toward the half-open door. He couldn't wait to pull her into his arms, but in the meantime, he hungrily drank in how she slowly pushed her panties down. Maybe she was teasing him, or perhaps he was just thirsty, but he longingly stared at how she moved, revealing his favourite spot in the entire world inch by inch.

"Were you staring?" (y/n) asked as they skimmed past her knees, landing next to his when she stepped out. The door opened quickly, and Ray wasted no time grabbing her wrist and dragging her under the warm water, making her giggle at his bold impatience.

"I wouldn't do that," the hero told her, but the laughter in his voice said otherwise.

"Sure... I've missed you, Ray. Thought about you every day," she murmured as they assumed their natural showering position, her palms flat against his chest and him holding her waist as the rain fell and warmed their skin. It was nice to stand and have each other adjust to the perfect sanctuary of the shower; bedrooms could be invaded, but no one ever bothered them in there.

"You have no idea... Thought I was going crazy without you here, my love," Ray replied, holding her close, enjoying the intimacy of having his fiancée in his embrace again.

His eyes squeezed shut at the lonely nights, and solitary dinners flashed through his mind, but he didn't let it win. That was then, this was now, and he had the girl of his dreams, wet, naked and entirely focusing on him.

"I kinda guessed the minute I saw you, doof..."

"Couldn't eat...couldn't sleep...needed my sweet girl."

"Raymond. Next time, you c--in fact, you're coming with me for the next reunion. So I can make sure you're taking care of yourself," (y/n) told him firmly, looking him in the eye, silently making him promise. Whether she was out of town or not, he had to look after himself--so she'd have her doofus to return to.

"Me goin' home to your momma's cooking? Don't tempt me, darlin'," Ray smirked, reaching around her body to grab a bottle of shower gel from the shelf. It was floral-scented, very girly, and not the sort of thing Ray would've had in his bathroom five years ago. But it smelt of her, and she smelt of home, which he needed more than anything.

Behind her back, he poured a small amount into his cupped hand, twitching a smile at the deep jewel-red colour before leaning away from her.

"May I?" He smirked, swiping the soap over her chest anyway since she never refused, although his ordering was slightly off. With him cleaning her body, starting with her shoulders, (y/n) studied her lover from his freshly shaven face to his broad shoulders, toned chest, abs...

"Most people wash their hair first, doof..."

"I'm taking a new approach," Ray mumbled, paying extra attention as he moved down her arms, fingertips gliding effortlessly with the suds he left. With his eyes on her body, (y/n) enjoyed the moment, feeling pretty under his gaze as he returned to her chest. The only way to go was down; she knew what his approach meant.

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" She whispered, head lolling back when he cupped her breasts, washing them more thoroughly than her arms. She sighed as his thumbs brushed over her nipples, turning them into hardened peaks and making him stiffen with them.

Cracking an eye open, she glanced down, noticing how his cock was noticeably thicker than it had been minutes earlier. She gulped at the sight of it, core fluttering from his touch and the thought of being filled, but Ray seemed to be taking his time - the man known for being incredibly patient.

"Turn around..." he ordered his pretty girl gently, making her whine since she didn't want to lose this precious sight, but then, he explained - albeit with a sly sparkle in her eye.

"Gotta wash your back, darlin'." It sounded euphemistic, so she did as he asked. Her movements were jittery, ruled by adrenaline, as his arms slipped back around her, cupping her tits again when his lips met the back of her neck.

Letting her head fall against his shoulder, she sighed, biting her lip when she felt his solid length against her back, slotting into the space between her cheeks. He soaped up her torso, exploring her soft tummy and back up to her breasts, but never the one space she wanted him to touch - the aching, throbbing slick between her thighs.

Ray growled against her neck, rutting into the small of her back when she whined, unable to stop himself when she pressed her ass backwards. She needed him inside her; it had been too long, and perhaps it was the steamy environment, but the tension between them was electric, with neither remembering a recent time when they were this desperate.

"Thought you were gonna wash my back?" (y/n) asked smugly, only to gasp when his touch slid down to her pussy, two fingers immediately circling her clit to make her writhe against him.

"I've got the love of my life letting me touch her up. Any man would get distracted," Ray replied, equally smug when she became jelly-like against his body, moaning quietly as he played with her. The woman was speechless by how he ran his fingertips through her slick lips, relaxing against her doofus, so he could use her as he pleased, and Ray was eager to please both of them.

"But if you want me to wash your back, sweet girl, put your hands on that wall and bend over."

"Yes, Captain," she muttered, eagerly following his command by facing the wall and sticking her ass out.

It would provide her with enough support when combined with his iron-like grip on her hips, so she wouldn't fall, but it wasn't the usual comfort the couple was accustomed to. Ray liked space and comfort to fuck his girl to heaven and back, and (y/n) loved lying there and taking it, but this would do to scratch the itch. The burning, feverish, all-consuming craving willing them to return to carnal instinct.

"That's it, sweet girl. Show me this pretty pussy--fuckin' missed it," he groaned as she braced against the wall with her ass pointing his way. The angle meant he could see her glistening centre perfectly, ready for him to plunge into after too long apart, and how she eagerly presented for him made his blood drain south.

Fully hard and standing to attention, the hero took himself into his palm, pumping his length as (y/n) parted her thighs. It wasn't surprising how quickly things escalated, given how much they'd missed each other, and they were used to fucking every day. The quicker they got it out of their systems, the sooner they could complete the shower and return to bed, where Ray automatically assumed they'd go again, making him grow feral.

"Please, just fuck me already, Ray. 'S been too long," the heroine whined, wiggling her hips to tempt him, but if he was anything, Ray was meticulous when it came to her pleasure.

Dragging the bulbous head through her slick, he planted his feet next to hers, giving himself enough space to fuck her freely and not topple over in the slippery environment. Lining up with her entrance, he could feel how his hand shook - a new sensation that made him gulp. He'd never been this frantic, thinking if he didn't have her now, he'd go insane, and it was all for the panting beauty before him.

"You want me, pretty girl? Want my cock inside you? You need it?" Ray teased, rubbing himself against her entrance, daring to slip inside by half an inch before retreating. Anything to make her whine and squirm against him.

"Stop teasing, doofus. Fuck me now...fuck me hard," she growled, making her lover grin at how riled up he'd made her. Not wanting to leave her aching any more - he was too on edge and horny anyway - a taunting dip turned into a full sheath, pressing his length into her tightness with a long groan of her name.

They cried out together, relief flooding their veins at what felt like fucking coming home. Ray didn't stop until his pelvic bone met her ass, fully wrapping her around him as his hand left her hip. After missing her for so long, the hero craved contact, intimacy, and the feeling of her body against his. He placed his forearm on the wall against her head and curled an arm around her tummy, pulling his sweet girl as close as can be as he bottomed out.

"You want me to fuck you hard, I'll fuck you hard, little girl. Missed this pussy so much..." he groaned, biting where her neck met her shoulder to smother the guttural noise when he dragged his hips backwards. The electric pleasure made (y/n) squeal; her warm cheek squashed against the cool tiles as he tested a hard, brutal rhythm.

Ray plunged into her steadily, cautious since it had been a while, but his sweet girl didn't want gentleness and kind words. She'd had enough pleasantries and polite smiles for one week; now, she wanted him to take what he needed and give her the fucking she yearned for.

"I won't break, Ray. You can fuck me harder than that."

"Bad fucking girl," Ray grunted savagely as he snapped into her, forgetting his slow, steady introductory pace for a brutal pounding slap-slap-slap.

He knew when she was taunting him--daring him to go faster, even when he didn't want to hurt her. But (y/n) knew he could never, not when she was practically moulded to his cock, so she moaned, spurring him on to go faster, harder, deeper.

Days apart meant Ray was up to the challenge, quickening his movements rapidly, finding a rhythm that made the flesh of her ass jiggle, and the room filled with the sound of skin hitting skin. Lips found her cheek, neck, shoulder--anywhere he could nip, bite, suck, and leave fleeting bruises.

Meanwhile, his free hand drifted both sides of her navel, sometimes preferring to tweak her nipples, hold her tits or slap them. But after playing with them for a while, he searched for something else, running his fingertips down to her pussy, where, to his satisfaction, toying with her pulsing clit made her clench and slump against the wall.

"R-Ray-gonna cum--" (y/n) stuttered, feeling the blinding heat creep up on her suddenly, and before she knew it - before Ray gave permission - she was tightening around him uncontrollably. The slightest touch of her slick nub and a few thrusts were enough to push her over, perhaps from having no contact for so long, with nothing more than her own hand to take the edge off during those boring nights, alone in her childhood bedroom.

The man groaned at how tight she became, thrusts stuttering since he didn't expect her to cum so quickly. Half a second later, he snapped back into reality, realising what had just happened, and he pressed her to the wall, snarling in her ear as she rode the high.

"Fuck--shit, that was hot. This pussy must be so needy, sweet girl. Not been around to fuck it properly, and now look at you. So desperate to cum, you'll do it before I say the word."

"I--I'm sorry, C-Captain. I--" (y/n) stammered, breathless and still reeling from the sudden climax. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire as her heart pounded in her ears, telling her she'd done something wrong. Ray always loved being in charge, telling her when and how he wanted her pleasure, ensuring she paced herself correctly, but as she floundered, he couldn't help but nuzzle into her neck with a smug smirk.

"Don't apologise, darlin'," he insisted, returning to a slow, painfully tender speed, rocking into her like he hadn't just been rearranging her guts. It was almost like he was thinking...taking his time to ponder his next move as she recovered...waiting until the sensitivity passed.

"Now..." the man muttered, more to himself than her, as he brushed his thumb over her breast, making her mouth open and hips push back into him. The slowness was maddening, and as swiftly as the relief came, (y/n) found herself needy again--just as Ray found himself hooked.

"How about another?" He asked smugly, finding her clit again, making his girl shriek when he hurriedly circled it without mercy. The hiss of the water hitting their bodies masked her cries of pleasure, his near-evil chuckle, and the soft slaps of their bodies meeting as he brought her to a gentler climax.

Unlike the last, when he fucked her at an almost inhuman speed, he wanted this one to be gentle in a soul-destroying way, so he kept his thrusts shallow and unhurried whilst his assault on her clit was lightning.

Furiously tracing figures of eight on it, he edged her towards her second orgasm, keeping himself as still and steady as possible since any proper pace would make him cum on the spot. Instead, he simply wanted to give her something to cum on, knowing his poor, sweet girl had been alone and empty for too long, aching for his cock to pump her full like he did every day--night--afternoon--whenever.

"Ray--"

"Cum for me," he commanded, and no sooner than he did, like her pleasure was his to pluck, she did.

All it took was a little pressure on her pussy and his fat cock deliciously stretching her walls, and she was cumming again, gasping as it hit harder than before. What was sensitivity earlier brought intense pleasure this time, making her choke and scream his name for no one but him to hear.

For a long moment, he stood still, not moving an inch as she spammed around him, rock hard inside her, thick and pulsing and breaking her open - but he didn't move a single inch. He kept himself there, continuing to rub circles around her clit and giving her precisely what he wanted her to have.

Something to cum on.

His head buried into her neck, nosing her dripping hair, panting against her skin as he mumbled praises and curses into her ear. He stayed like that, circling her clit hard and regaining his speed, knowing if he prolonged his own end, he'd burst into flames or go insane. With his fingers still cupping her cunt, he returned to work, soothing her whimpers, cock flexing and throbbing hotter than sin, building her pleasure into an intense, slow crescendo.

"Fuck me so good, Ray..." (y/n) cried, swearing she couldn't take any more--that if he made her cum again, it would be her petite mort - the little death, but she couldn't find it in herself to push him away. She needed more, craved everything he could give her, and vowed to do anything to get everything she could.

And it seemed her swimming head didn't realise her lips moved until she goaded him, not that she cared.

"Sweet girl..."

"Do you know how many times I had to get off alone without you there? You know my fingers aren't enough, doofus, but I had to--thought about that weekend we had at Lake Tahoe. Y'know, when we broke the bed..."

"Fuck--you looked so gorgeous beneath me. Just like you do now," Ray groaned, screwing his eyes shut at the memory, and he could practically taste it on his tongue as he indulged in her sweet heat.

He remembered that trip perfectly; the clandestine skinny-dipping, the many hours spent tangled in the sheets...having to sign a check to the hotel manager for damage done. But the imagined image she painted in his mind made a scorching heat lick up his spine. Picturing her smothering her moans as her hand slipped into her pyjama shorts at midnight, her secretly cumming to the thought of him made him go harder, seeking a much-needed release.

"So good to me...my good girl. Give me another one," he muttered, fucking into her as he mouthed her neck and kept rubbing her clit, wringing out her cunt once more.

"Oh fuck---Ray!"

"Yes--give it to--me--feel it coming. Give me a g-good one, darlin'," he grunted as he chased his end, burying himself into her a final time before she fell apart, taking him with her. Ray sank his teeth into her neck as he shot his load into her, overwhelming pleasure making his muscles tense and relax as it hit him harder than expected.

Everything squeezed around him tighter than usual, her back arching into him, her hand finding his forearm on the wall, so she had something to grip instead of uselessly clawing the smooth tiles.

Convulsing in pure bliss, part of (y/n) wondered if she was hurting him, judging from the stuttered groans he released into her hair. But then, he rasped "good girl" into her ear, and her walls fluttered again, proving how pleasantly tired and satiated she was once the sparks died down. Safe in his secure hold, she peeled her face off the wall and rested it against his shoulder, turning her face to lovingly rub her nose against his jugular as his movements ceased.

No movement. Tightly immobile in his arms, Ray remained silent behind her, removing his hand from her pussy as she fell back to reality, humming soothingly when her body jerked from the tiny jolt to her clit.

"I--I liked t-that reward," she croaked, licking her lips, despite the water reigning over their heads.

It only struck her then how it was now lukewarm, obviously struggling to maintain the temperature the longer they were in there, but the man holding her was like a furnace anyway, affectionately rubbing her tummy, pelvic area and breasts as he became soft and adorable again.

"Good," Ray hummed, chastely kissing her cheek - a far cry from their debauchery, but they needed the sweetness just as much. Time to reaffirm their love through precious gestures and gooey words.

"How about we finish up in here and then have a nap? You must be tired, sweet girl..." he offered, pulling out of her with a soft grunt and turning her around, so he could see her pretty face.

Travelling all day had sucked the energy out of her. Part of him felt guilty for succumbing to his desires before allowing her to rest properly. Still, as he tenderly cupped her cheek, it wasn't tiredness he saw in her eyes.

"I guess I am a little tired, doof," she shrugged, watching as he glanced off to the side to find her favourite shampoo, knowing he wanted to get her in bed as soon as possible. And whilst she liked that idea too, she figured it was for an entirely different reason...

"But it's been nearly a week since I last saw you. I'm not sleeping until we fuck at least two more times..."

Oh, it was good to be home.

SAFETY. That was a meaty one. I think Ray knows not to let his sweet girl go again. Not without learning how FaceTime works--

I already know this is going to be a twenty-something thousand-long chapter, so without further ado--let's get into it!

An hour later, the lovebirds joined their little family in the Man Cave, wrapped in each other's arms and tripping over their feet. It was hard to hug and walk simultaneously, but they managed it, too handsy and affectionate to let go as they stumbled down the steps.

As Schwoz, Jasper and Piper worked on getting the perfect photo of Captain Man, Henry and Charlotte created his Rumblr profile. Ray had to look perfect if he was going to find the perfect villain, so he did the pouting, and the teens at the supercomputer did the typing, knowing he wouldn't do it himself.

"Okay. Name--Captain Man. Interested in--criminals," Henry muttered as he typed in some essential details. Meanwhile, the man of the moment was finding his feet in modelling, throwing Schwoz some of the smoulderiest smoulders he could muster as his sweet girl cheered on from the sidelines.

"Ray, we need that pic for your profile."

"You can't rush art!" Schwoz snapped from his place on the floor because he needed the hero's best angle as he flexed his muscles in front of the picturesque backdrop.

Honestly, Ray didn't know what he was doing, finding himself snatched from the sanctuary of his and his precious girl's bedroom and placed in a world he didn't understand.

"Smile with your eyes, not your mouth!" The small man instructed, making the man tilt his chin down to make his gaze look soulful and doe-like. Flaring the whites of his eyes made him look a little crazy, but (y/n) thought he looked hot anyway, ogling his muscles and handsome face with little shame.

"Show me your soul! No, no, no, your other soul. The better one!" Schwoz growled, snapping a few more pics as Ray changed positions, finding the perfect angle that showed off his best features - flawless hair, sharp yet gorgeous features, broad shoulders, cinched waist, whole lotta abs.

"That's it...that's the one. I'm on a five," the haughty photographer announced, tossing his expensive camera up in the air for Piper to catch. She and Jasper acted as his assistants to clean up his messes when his artistry became too much to bear.

"Great work, Schwoz!" The girl complimented, catching the device before it smashed into a million pieces. However, Piper, being Piper, saw herself as the senior assistant, and if her boss was on a break, then so was she.

"I'm on a five!"

"Whoop--why am I holding everything?!" Jasper gasped as she threw the camera over her shoulder. It took all his effort to catch it, juggling it with everything else he had to carry; a towel, a bag, a water bottle...

"Don't care! On a five--byeeeeee!" Piper ignored him, disappearing behind the backdrop as Ray adjusted his gloves and headed toward the computer, meeting his sweet girl halfway. She wrapped her hands around his bicep, hugging his beefy arm to her body since it helped calm his nerves, which were getting the better of him in such unknown territory.

"You looked really hot there, doofus."

"I did?" Ray asked quietly, looking genuinely surprised when she said that--as if he couldn't believe he could be desirable in this situation. She giggled and nodded, pressing her cheek to his bicep since it wasn't often she saw him in uniform as plain old (y/n) (y/l/n). Fighting crime and avoiding death didn't give her much chance for drooling - maybe she'd ask Schwoz for copies of those photos.

"Mhmm... Couldn't take my eyes off you," she remarked with a Charing smile, stopping to kiss him gently before the kids at the computer caught on. Looking over their shoulders and seeing them canoodling wasn't unusual, but they had a job to do, no matter how uneasy the boss felt.

"Okay, Ray...Favourite book?" Charlotte asked, ready to provide some juicer details for their prospective villain, but that would be harder than she and Henry first thought, considering they were working with a guy whose world revolved around a handful of things.

"I don't read," Ray replied dryly, shrugging off something so dull in favour of holding his precious fiancée to his chest. No one could blame him for being so touchy after not seeing her, but he had to focus.

"Favourite poem?"

"Same answer."

"Hobbies?"

"Fighting and Miss Danger." So far, they had a limited list. That pretty much summed up Ray's life; when he was fighting, he was with Miss Danger, and when he wasn't fighting, he was with (y/n) - one and the same person. He wasn't interested in much else, even though his sweet girl rolled her eyes at being considered a hobby.

"Likes?"

"Fighting and Miss Danger."

"Dislikes?"

"Reading."

"You're a fascinating man, doofus," (y/n) giggled, hugging him gently to stop him from squirming and shuffling his feet. She knew he wasn't comfortable, but this idea didn't sound too bad, and if it prevented him from being so antsy and restless, she'd go along with it.

"Okay, describe your perfect fight," Charlotte told him whilst Jasper sorted through the dozen photos of Ray's pouty face. That was a tricky question because the hero had been in thousands of fights during his career, so he had a lot of material to work with. Now, what to choose from?

"I don't know...I don't know..." Ray floundered, overwhelmed by the experience, making his sweet girl coo and lovingly stroke his bicep. How could he choose one scenario when he'd seen it all? It felt impossible, especially when he realised his answer might decide whether he got himself a hot fight that night.

"Don't overthink it. Just be yourself," Henry advised him, so Ray took a deep breath. With (y/n) soothingly rubbing his pec, he closed his eyes and imagined the perfect scene, unlikely to happen but his dream nonetheless.

"Okay, uh..." he swallowed for a second, dithering for another before he saw it, "it's midnight. I'm on top of a blimp...and suddenly, there's this bad guy. Sparks fly, and so do our fists. I defeat him, obviously, and I jump off the blimp right as it explodes into my sweet girl's arms. And she gives me the best reward I could ever ask for..."

"Oh, yeah!" Henry complimented, ignoring the mushy ending for the rest of the man's perfect fight because...wow. It sounded epic, something Henry would love to be a part of, and (y/n) didn't mind the idea of being there for her doofus at the end of it all.

"You sure it's not too much?" Ray asked, unsure if he was asking for too much, but dreams are meant to be outlandish - no harm in going big.

"Oh, no!"

"Okay, I think we have our profile pic," Jasper announced, tapping a button to send his chosen image to the supercomputer. He'd gone through all of them, and this one was the best, impressing the teens and loved-up couple when Ray's burning smoulder finished uploading.

"Wow!"

"I'd fight you..." (y/n) remarked as she admired her doofus, secretly gloating that the hottie on the screen had his heart set on marrying her. Ray blushed at her words, squeezing her in a side hug as he pecked her temple, enjoying the affection from her in the knowledge she fancied him.

"Totally!" Jasper agreed, simply saying that his boss looked good, but when he got too close to Ray's other side, daring to put an around his shoulders, he went too far. The hero stiffened under his touch and shrugged off his arm by stepping closer to (y/n), kissing her instead of surrendering to the boy's touch. Well, he wanted to kiss his sweet girl anyway...

"All right. Profile's done. Let's take this puppy live," Henry said, seeing they'd ticked all the boxes, dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's, so it was now just a matter of waiting for replies to come in.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait..." However, Ray stopped him, laying a hand on his sidekick's shoulder to stop him from hitting the button. His nerves wouldn't let him do this; putting himself out in the open wasn't his style.

"Nah--" Henry ignored him and uploaded his profile anyway. He who dares wins - that was his motto, and Ray wouldn't find himself a new and exciting fight but just waiting around in his hideout.

"No! What are you doing?! I said wait!" The large man exclaimed, shocked that the kid would expose him like that, but a strange ping came from his phone before he could give Henry the third degree. Odd - it didn't sound like his usual text tone.

"What's this?" He asked, gingerly taking his phone from his belt to analyse the notification, but he couldn't make heads or tails of it. He showed (y/n) first, most comfortable with her, but she shrugged too, gesturing for Henry to come and interpret the technobabble.

"That's a match. Somebody wants to fight you," the kid revealed, smirking at his boss's stunned face. Ray looked at his pretty girl and Charlotte in shock, wondering how he managed to find someone so quickly, but he had to be decisive here. He didn't want any old idiot.

"Huh, okay--oh..."

"More matches!" Henry grinned as the beeps began coming thick and fast, constantly pinging Ray's PearPhone. Every villain on the app wanted a chance to fight Captain Man, which definitely didn't go to the man's head. He assumed everything was a waste of time; no one would want to fight little old him...

"Is that a smile, doofus?" (y/n) teased, brushing her pinking against her lover's crooked cheek as he struggled to contain his happiness.

"No..." Ray lied, using all his strength to not giggle when her touch tickled his skin, but she saw through it anyway. She knew when he was relieved and snuggled into his side with an even greater grin, happy that he was pleased - even if she didn't like the idea of virtual fight-finding.

"Yeah, it is!"

"Maybe..." Ray broke out in a smile, unable to contain it, when she peered over his bulging bicep, watching his fight requests stretch into double digits. He honestly couldn't believe that they were right, and not only was Rumblr legit, but he now how plenty of fish to choose from.

They could be selective, choose the most suitable, and not worry about only getting the mingers. Some genuine contenders were in that extensive list, from those who also hated books to the criminals who had the hots for Miss Danger. And that meant Captain Man would have to bring his A-game, not that he was worried.

How bad could it be if his sidekicks were going with him? Although, it would be the strangest triple date (y/n) had ever been on - well, the first.

No one said she was returning to normality. No, her home was very much for the weird and wonderful.

Fifteen minutes later, the stage was set.

Charlotte was still sitting at the computer, readying the list of potential matches for everyone to judge. The spectators had gathered, eager to see who wanted to take on Captain Man, meaning Henry and Piper had taken their seats on the couch, a bowl of steaming popcorn straight from the auto-snacker set on the table between them.

Of course, the girl returned to see the action, rubbing her hands at the thought of a judging session, but she didn't expect a show before the action started. Across the room, Ray was bench-pressing, lifting double his body weight to try and gain some last-minute muscle. (y/n) told him it was useless and a waste of energy, but she would never deny herself the gorgeous view.

Every time his arms flexed, his muscles bulged and rippled underneath his skin, making her drool as she stared at his exposed chest. He'd stripped out of his uniform and the shirt he'd picked after showering, exposing an unfairly attractive, sleeveless, azure tank top, which perfectly showed off his torso.

Pair that with how he was reclining on the bench, and she was practically on fire--begging to be allowed to sit in his lap. As encouragement, of course. To help with his heavy load. Although Jasper swore, that was his role.

"Don't touch my bar," Ray told the boy firmly as he routinely lifted the weight, barely breaking a sweat since he did it every day. However, Jasper thought he needed help if the great hero overstepped his limits.

"I'm not touching it. Just here if you need me."

"I don't need you," Ray grunted, wishing the boy would go away while he did his thing. He wanted to impress whoever he met later on and, better still, impress his sweet girl.

The man may have been dense, but he knew when his fiancée checked him out, so he wore the tank. It showed off his best features, and he wouldn't mind if she sat in his lap and...aided his concentration.

"Here if you do."

"I won't. Sweet girl, tell him," he whined, pressing effortlessly, aware of what he could do, and if he wanted anyone watching his strength, it wouldn't be Jasper. The kid had arms like ramen noodles.

"Safety first," Curly insisted like that would convince him. Ray only dropped the barbell once when (y/n) entered the gym wearing...things, wondering why her soon-to-be husband wasn't in bed. This was different.

"I'm indestructible!"

"Here if you need me."

"Despite being indestructible, doofus, I'd prefer if you were as unharmed as possible. Jasper's just helping out," (y/n) spoke from the foot of the bench, ogling from the perfect angle since she had a bird's eye view of his broad shoulders, narrow waist and...fuck, those muscles.

"If I get hurt, darlin', you can just kiss it better," Ray flirted, smirking as he pushed through the burn in his arms. He didn't need to look to know her cheeks were scorching, fluttering her eyelashes, and smiling coyly, feeling his chest swell with pride.

"Ray, stop pumping up your glamour muscles, (y/n) stop drooling over them, and both of you get over here, so we can start looking at these matches," Henry called out from the couch, ruining the flirtatious moment between the couple.

He and Piper were growing bored, and Charlotte was ready to show them their options, meaning the hero needed to stop preening himself and bring his sweet fiancée over.

"Yeah, dog. I wanna look at pictures of other people and judge!" Piper added, waving the ice-cold soda in her hand dramatically.

"All right, we're comin'. Jasper, take this," Ray grunted as he lifted the weight into Jasper's waiting hands. He left the bench and took his sweet girl into his arms, unaware that the boy was no superhero. He didn't have endless, nudging muscles, so he struggled to hold it, stumbling before gradually taking it to the floor - with himself.

"Now, I'm going to show you all the bad guys that saw your profile and want to fight you," Charlotte told her boss, ignoring the clatter of Jasper and the barbell, not to mention how her friend stroked the man's biceps like they were priceless.

"Let's get to the judging!" Piper bellowed in a deep voice, locking eyes with Charlotte so they could smirk over (y/n)'s blatant goo-goo eyes. Suppose she didn't pick up her tongue. In that case, she'd trip over it, utterly besotted with her doofus and his bare arms - the ones curled around her body, keeping her close to his chiselled torso.

"Okay. If you don't want to meet up with them for a fight, you swipe left. If you do want to meet up with them for a fight, then swipe right, and the app will automatically set up a meeting," the girl at the computer continued, explaining the Rumblr app, which seemed simple enough, even for a very impatient man.

"Y'know, it's funny. I feel like ten minutes ago, I told you I wanted to see my matches, but you're still talking. I haven't seen any," Ray sniped snarkily, hoping to get to business quickly. Still, he just came off as rude, something Charlotte, with all her hard work, didn't appreciate.

"And I'm on a five!" The girl huffed, tossing the PearPhone into the air to slope off and escape the man. He was insufferable, and god knows how (y/n) put up with him, big, muscly asshole that he was.

"Raymond! What have I told you about being rude?!" The woman scolded her lover, smacking his arm, although that could've just been another excuse to feel his skin. However, she looked genuinely upset with him, throwing Char an apologetic look before the girl disappeared behind the secret door.

"If I want to make friends, I have to be friendly?" Ray asked, already knowing the answer, but he grovelled for her forgiveness anyway. Even if Charlotte was the one who deserved it, he craved his pretty girl's approval and affection more than anything.

"Exactly, you doofus!" She exclaimed, trying to be stern, but it melted when he whined and pecked her cheek, casually handing Piper the PearPhone over his shoulder. She was in charge of everything technical now and brushed past her boss and friend without staring when he kissed her neck.

"Okay, so just look at these pics and tell me if you wanna swipe left or right," she told him before quickly moving on to the first applicant. Tyler Mayhem - a funny-looking guy whose chosen quote was, "The first rule about Rumblr, you do not talk about Rumblr". He may have thought he was hot, but Ray wasn't too impressed.

"All right. This guy says his likes are--"

"Left," he said immediately before Henry could read his profile. He didn't care if he liked homemade explosions and soap-making; the guy looked weird.

"Okay... This guy is from--" Henry quickly moved on, noticing his boss' unimpressed face. Mop Man was a vegan, part-time cleaner at the Swellview Cineplex from Bordertown who claimed to "mop up heroes" - what a loser.

"Oooh...left."

"Wow," Henry muttered flatly, growing frustrated since he wouldn't even give the potential fights a chance. Ray kept swiping left, finding a fault in everyone, whether their weird hair, lack of prowess or pathetic alter egos, which meant Bad Guy went straight out the window.

"Wow, this villain once robbed a--"

"Big left!"

"Are you serious, dude?!" The kid exclaimed, thinking he looked okay. Perhaps a little weedy, but the guy looked like he'd be worth a minor scuffle.

"What?" Ray looked at him innocently, wondering why his sidekick looked so grumpy when all he was doing was holding his precious girl, occasionally kissing her forehead, and taking orders. It wasn't his fault that all these villains were noobs.

"You're not even giving any of these villains a chance."

"That last one's name was Bad Guy. I'm not gonna match with anybody who can't come up with a better name than that," the hero hissed, grimacing at the poor persona before turning his back on the screen.

He was strutting around like a peacock, puffing his chest out as he sauntered past (y/n), making her giggle, but Piper found his words hilarious.

"Yeah, okay, Captain Man," the girl chuckled sarcastically, thinking he was one to talk with his bland name. He must've devised it in five seconds all those years, yet Ray was still very protective of his name.

"What did you say?" The man growled, taking a step toward the brat, who didn't even work in his Man Cave. One snap of his fingers and she'd be out, and she'd do well to remember that.

"Okay, okay, okay, doofus! It's a lovely name, and y'know, I love calling you Captain..." (y/n) intervened, stepping between Piper and her fiancé so they didn't fight. With her eyelashes fluttering and palms pressed to his chest, Ray couldn't help but forget about the argument, his smouldering gaze following her hungry one as he got her meaning.

"More matches, more matches, more matches--we're gonna do more matches," Henry rambled, seeing how the couple lost focus, and he'd worked with them long enough to know that look. The hungry look. Bedroom eyes. The "I want to see that tank top on the floor" face.

"Let's do this, one guy. This guy, right here. What do you think of him?"

"Too short," Ray shrugged, draping a tree trunk-like arm around (y/n)'s shoulders, encouraging her to snuggle into his side. With Bubble Brain being five-foot-eight - with socks on - Piper swiped left, giving Ray another option, yet he was quickly turned down too.

"Too tall." Rock Sampson went, too, no matter if he was a "walking German murder machine". So, she pulled up the next guy - The Writer. He was the perfect height and loved complaining, but it seemed like the pen was mightier than the sword here, and Ray couldn't bear to be seen fighting a noob.

"Just right..."

"Nice!"

"But ugly. Pass," he said flippantly, irritating Henry again as his sister moved on. There had to be something wrong with the guy, but he was presented with the most beautiful women, models and Miss World winners, yet he chose (y/n) out of them all. His taste was specific, subtle and unpredictable but specific.

But the next guy...he had something about him. Something specific.

"The Lawn Ranger?" Ray read out, his heart thumping as he viewed the guy's profile. He looked nothing short of incredible; he had a cool name, handsome, boyish looks, a brief but practical introduction, and even his dream fight was identical. Rumblr said he was the best, but suddenly, the hero felt jittery.

"Yeah, man. You guys are a ninety-seven per cent match for each other, and look! His dream fight is on top of a blimp," Henry said calmly, noting how quiet the man had gone. He held (y/n) closer but never took his eyes off the screen, studying this Lawn Ranger and his beautifully sculpted face.

"At midnight. Just like yours!" Jasper exclaimed, thinking the guy's suitability was uncanny.

"Yeah, but, I mean, it's not like he wants to--"

"...Jump off it as it explodes-- Yes, that's exactly what it says, doof," (y/n) cooed, squeezing his arm as best she could, unable to get her fingers to meet around it. Ray couldn't believe it, acting toughly vulnerable as he got closer - it had to be too good to be true.

"You really think that this bad guy could be the one?" He asked quietly, unsure if he should expose his feelings for something so risky.

"Yeah..."

"Yeah, dude."

"Let's do it."

"You know you want to, doofus," his family encouraged, thinking they wouldn't find anyone better, but Ray was still nervous. He looked at (y/n), wanting her to tell him this was stupid and to back off--to stay safe--but she just smiled and nodded. If his sweet girl thought it was okay, then...

"I guess we could swipe right..." he said anxiously, much to his helpers' delight. Before the hero could change his mind, Piper accepted the fight, creating a match between Captain Man and The Lawn Ranger, which pleased Ray more than he let on.

"Okay! Looks like you got a fight set for an hour from now at TBD," Henry read aloud, recognising the initials, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Ray, however, being the superhero he was, had heard of every scum-filled hole in Swellview.

"Oh, The Beating Dungeon!"

"Oh, yeah! That underground fight club!" (y/n) grinned, squeezing him tightly, and finally, the excitement began to eat away at Ray's nerves. He was looking forward to the fight, but as one wave of anxiety passed, another came.

"Oh my god, it's happening! What am I gonna wear?"

"Your Captain Man uniform?" (y/n) suggested, seeing how he was overthinking it. All he had to do was be himself; after all, he was the great hero of the city, but she understood his nerves. She had been the same when preparing to go on her first date with him, deeming her wardrobe inadequate and her face a let-down.

"Yes, that's perfect, sweet girl! It looks great on me!" he exclaimed, seizing her by the shoulders and pulling her into a swift kiss. He'd hear no argument from (y/n), who regularly checked him out in the super-suit, seeing no imperfection, unlike Ray, who suddenly felt inadequate. And don't get him started on his face.

"But I gotta go lift some weights first."

"Here if you need me!" Jasper offered again, ready and eager to be there for the hero in case his vast bulk failed him. As if.

"I don't need you!" Ray insisted, running to his weight-pressing bench with (y/n) hot on his heels. He'd never let her do something so dangerous, but he wouldn't deny her the show, loving how dark her eyes got when he got his arms out. However, a little help would be good.

"Henry, come give me a spot."

"What?!" Jasper gasped, wondering what his best friend had that he didn't - save for the fact Ray liked Henry a lot more. But the kid was busy, speeding through the Rumblr app because if the man wanted him and (y/n) to tag along tonight, they'd need fights too.

"Hang on, dude. I gotta set up my Rumblr profile."

"You haven't set it up yet?" Ray asked worriedly, the determination draining from his face as he curled his arms with the barbell. Fabulous; now, he was worried that the kid wouldn't get a date in time, and when he looked at his precious fiancée, she didn't look particularly hurried, either.

"Relax. I'm done," the boy said calmly, flicking through his phone as the alerts started to fly in. Like Captain Man, every villain in Swellview wanted to fight Kid Danger, so he had the quantity, yet he wasn't fussed with the quality.

"Lot of matches, so..."

"Let's see 'em! I'm ready to get my hate on!" Piper said excitedly, hoping to have more input from her brother than with Ray, but Henry wasn't in it for the fight. This was just his way of upholding his side of the bargain.

"Nah. I'm probably just gonna pick the first one."

"You're gonna swipe right on the first villain you see? Do you think that's wise, kid?" (y/n) asked, placing her hand on the boy's shoulder, using all her resilience to tear her gaze away from the Greek god pumping iron.

"Henry, don't do that. You deserve so much more," Jasper agreed with the woman, stepping into his friend's personal space in a borderline creepy manner. Suddenly, his face was too close for comfort, making Henry recoil whilst Ray put his weights down and came over.

"Whatever. This guy seems fine. Just gonna swipe."

"What's his name?" The hero questioned, finding his sidekick's disinterest in who he was fighting concerning.

"Uhh...Kyle."

"Mmmm. Sounds like a dud." Henry scoffed at Ray's criticism once he'd accepted the match. Just because he had a dull name didn't mean he wasn't worth the trouble; this night was for him. Who cared what Henry did?

"Says he likes energy drinks and punching holes in walls." That didn't sound too bad. A little psychotic, but Kyle was meant to be a villain.

"Sounds like my uncle..." Jasper joked, making (y/n) chuckle. She knew that feeling, shivering upon remembering her ill-fated reunion, but the memory was interrupted by a notification beeping on Ray's phone.

He pulled out his PearPhone, glancing at the screen before gasping. It was like he'd seen a ghost; all the colour drained from his face, and suddenly, his hands couldn't stop shaking. Whatever was on his phone made the renowned Captain Man nervous.

"It's him! It's him! The Lawn Ranger sent me a message! Oh my god!" He squealed, dancing on the spot like a teenage girl getting a text from her crush.

"What did he say?" Piper asked.

"I dunno. I'm too nervous--you read it, darlin'. You read it..." Ray panicked, assuming the worst, despite having mutuality with the guy. So, he passed the device to (y/n), who took it with a bemused eye roll, wondering who this fangirl was and what she did with her doofus.

"I'm excited to get to mow you," she read, feeling like she was back in college when she was always the third wheel. Being a major in mechanical engineering will do that to you, but for Ray, the nerdy, cheesy pun was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.

"Mow you! 'Cause he's The Lawn Ranger," he laughed, unlike his companions who didn't see the hilarity.

"You're not gonna get that kind of wordplay from Kyle."

"Just...go back to your weightlifting, you big doofus," (y/n) sighed, shaking her head as he dreamily skipped across the room, twirling and holding his phone to his chest like the boy had texted back.

Henry giggled at the strange sight he made; he could deal with the underhanded insults about his upcoming match, but the kid found his boss' newfound obsession funny. It reminded him of when his boss used to jump through hoops to get a second glance from his sweet girl, unaware she was in the other room, melting after the slightest interaction with him.

And speaking of the girl, she seemed remarkably un-busy. Less focus on his and Ray's fights and more on hers - wasn't Miss Danger attending tonight?

"What about you, (y/n/n)? Who's gonna be your villain for tonight?" Henry inquired, having thought this was supposed to be a triple-fight, and the sudden question made Ray drop his weights again.

"Oh, I don't think I'm gonna bother," (y/n) shrugged, tapping the PearPhone still in her pocket, but a little explanation wouldn't have hurt. Ray's face flashed with panic for a second as he concluded she didn't want to attend, leaving him to suffer with Henry because he couldn't fight with her support.

"What?! But sweet girl, you said you'd come! You have to! I can't do this without you! What if I forget how to fight? Or if I fall over and forget how to walk? What if this is one big joke, and I don't have anyone with me?..."

(y/n) blinked at him for a few seconds - one, two, three - before bursting into laughter. It wasn't mean, vindictive, or anything like that, but he worked himself into such a panic she couldn't help but chuckle. Ray looked at her, completely bewildered, as she embraced him, wrapping her arms around his neck to run her fingers through his hair.

"Doofus! Don't be a doofus all your life..." She said gently, leaning up to softly kiss him, silencing his screaming worries because when Ray kissed his sweet girl, all was right in the world.

"You'll not forget how to fight or walk, so stop worrying! This guy seems legit, and anyway, I'll be there the entire time."

"What about your fight? You don't have a Rumblr profile..." the hero said quietly, hoping she wasn't going just to sit and watch. That didn't sound fun, and he didn't want her sitting at some grimy bar, accepting drinks from every asshole in Swellview because he was off fighting The Lawn Ranger.

"And I don't want one, doof. I'm perfectly happy just going to The Beating Dungeon and waiting for the right villain to come along. Ladies don't like to be rushed into these things. We want them to make the first move," she teased, hyper-aware of his bare arms around her--so close to ripping that tank top down the middle.

"You sure you don't want to arrange a match, (y/n/n)? You just wanna go and scout the crowd?" Henry asked concernedly. He'd existed around their lovey-dovey moments long enough that he didn't care if he was interrupting, and he wasn't affected by Ray's glares, either.

The kid never thought he'd say it but agreed with Ray. Going alone sounded so risky, and whilst he didn't doubt Miss Danger's allure and popularity, Captain Man would patrol anyone who dared go near her. No one would be good enough to fight his sweet girl, and he could see a brawl erupting when the hero said something...inflammatory.

"Nope. Call me old-fashioned, but I want to meet a villain properly, have them buy me a drink, and take it slow. This online fighting will never catch on..."

~The Beating Dungeon~

No one could say The Beating Dungeon wasn't impressive. Maybe it needed cleaning - scum-filled from the floors to the bar to the people who frequented it - but it was really cool.

Everything was designed to tend to any villain's needs and welcome any hero who wanted to fight there. From the neon lights to multiple platforms and weapons for them to choose from, there was everything they wanted, away from the prying eyes of Swellview's Police. Good thing, too, because the joint was packed tonight.

Captain Man, Kid Danger, and Miss Danger walked in to see a hero and villain tumble to the ground in a scrap. The brawl impressed Ray, skipping like a child as he led his sweet girl hand-in-hand into the club, ecstatic at the prospect of his upcoming fight.

"This is so exciting! I love that there's a place where everybody's down to fight!" The man exclaimed as they worked their way through the crowd. Many recognised the three brightly dressed figures crossing the floor, some showing a flicker of interest when (y/n) offered them a friendly smile, only for her doofus to scare them off with a cutting scowl.

She wouldn't get much action tonight at this rate.

"Oh my god! It's Captain Man, Miss Danger, and Kid Danger!" A feminine voice cried behind them as they neared the bar's edge. Looking over their shoulders, the trio saw two interesting characters bound up to them, dressed in lizard-themed costumes that made them look almost identical.

"Yeah... What's up?" Henry asked casually, keeping it friendly, even though their green, scaly skin, flickering tongues, catlike eyes and smooth heads creeped him out.

"We're the Lizard Twins. We'd love to fight you one day," the male lizard said, twitching his head to the side with his sister in a reptilian manner. They took their aesthetic very seriously; unfortunately, (y/n) had never been a fan and only wanted to hide under Ray's arm when they looked her way.

"We couldn't believe it when we saw your profiles on Rumblr," the girl said before her eyes flickered to (y/n), who shuffled nervously under her keen gaze.

"We didn't see yours, though, Miss Danger. Are you off the market?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that. I'm just waiting for the right offer," the heroine said with a polite smile, but her open-ended statement sounded like a proposal.

"Oh, do you guys wanna fight right now?" The guy asked. He and his sister raised their hands in an elegant yet creepy manner, with Ray instinctively raising his fists. Anyone would love to take on Captain Man and his sweet girl, but sadly, they couldn't accept.

"We can't..."

"Sorry, guys. We're actually here to fight someone else," Henry apologised, gesturing to him and Ray as (y/n) gently shook her head and declined the offer.

Honestly, she saw organising a fight as trouble and much preferred to save her resources, skills and energy for when they were needed, not when she felt like flexing her super-regeneration.

"Aw, Bumblr!" The male lizard sighed, sad to know someone else had beaten them to the chase.

"Yeah, I matched on Rumblr with The Lawn Ranger, so..." Ray bragged, looking smug as he boasted bout the epic fight he had lined up for himself, but strangely, the Lizard Twins didn't fall on the floor in admiration. Instead, they turned to each other and snickered, finding something funny whilst the trio missed the joke.

"What's so funny? Do you know this Lawn Ranger guy?" Miss Danger asked, squinting her eyes in suspicion as a low, uneasy feeling settled in her stomach.

"Yeah. He's right over there," the scaly girl smirked, looking over her shoulder as her brother snorted, unable to hide their amusement.

"Eating chilli!" The pair ran off with their hands clamped over their mouths to stop any other giggles escaping, so to see what was so damn hilarious, the heroes looked across the room. And that's when they saw the elephant.

He was huge. Big, tubby and soft. His outfit looked like it had been shrunk in the wash. Cheap, patchy and...grassy. His face looked like it was made from rubber. Flabby, pasty, and stained with chilli sauce from where he'd slurped from the bowl.

The Lawn Ranger looked nothing like what he had done online, and (y/n) instantly suspected his Photoshop skills fixed the sharp jawline and blemishes on his profile, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was the sinking feeling in Ray's stomach as all the good feelings drained away, and he certainly didn't want to talk to the elephant in the room.

Suddenly, he felt cornered. Humiliated. Cheated.

"Oh, noooo..."

"Just pretend you don't see him." Henry hissed, turning his boss away from the chubby guy, praying he hadn't seen them in the crowd. What had been perfectly arranged was quickly falling into a nosedive, and the kid knew he and (y/n) needed to act as damage control, but things only got worse.

"He looks nothing like his pictures!"

"Yeah, you got catfished, doof. I'm sorry," (y/n) said softly, stroking the man's back to be supportive as she held back something along the lines of, "I knew this would all end in tears."

"He looks stupid!"

"He's right behind us..." Henry told them curtly, playing it cool as he glanced over his shoulder to the weirdo strolling up to them. The Lawn Ranger had definitely seen them, probably because they weren't hard to miss in those uniforms, so now, all they could do was tolerate him. And the stench of damp grass.

"Hi!"

"How are you?"

"Who might you be?" They asked politely, but their smiles looked a little too friendly--crazy, even--as the grass-wearing oddball cleared his throat and boldly addressed the heroes - like he wasn't a walking bush.

"It's me! The Lawn Ranger!"

"Yeah, I didn't recognise you. Probably because you didn't look absolutely nothing like the pictures you posted," Ray replied cuttingly, his voice harsh and accusatory, making (y/n) dig his fingernails into his bicep to make him watch his tone, not that she could blame him. She was pretty pissed and feeling quite protective of her doofus.

"I know... I should probably update those," The Lawn Ranger shrugged, having the decency to at least look guilty, but his enthusiasm returned in leaps and bounds, "but I can still fight!"

Ray didn't look too impressed as the so-called villain tried to start the grass trimmer in his sweaty palms - his weapon of choice - like he would mow his enemies into submission. However, he proved pretty clumsy as he dropped the garden tool onto the floor, missing the pull string entirely.

"Oopsie..." he said quietly, offering the unamused heroes a small smile before bending over to pick up the trimmer. A loud, sharp ripping sound surged through the air, making (y/n)'s cheeks turn pink and Ray's mouth flop open because everyone knew what that sound was.

"That was my pants..." the guy chuckled nervously, avoiding anyone's eyes during the worst introduction in the history of the human race, which proved too much for Henry to bear. He had to look away - to spare the man's dignity.

"Yeah, I got that..." Ray retorted flatly, wondering if he should shield his precious fiancée's eyes from this debauchery. If it wasn't the massive hole in the man's ill-fitting pants, it was the expanse of exposed, hairy, flabby stomach hanging from his too-small shirt that would offend her eyes, and Ray didn't want her seeing any more of The Lawn Ranger's...man-garden.

"Excuse me, gentlemen--milady. I'm just gonna scooch by you real quick. Back in a jiffy... You and I could fight once I'm done with Captain Man. Eh, Miss Danger? I'm a huge fan!"

"Haha, yeah... Nooooo," (y/n) laughed courteously before she let her fake smile fall once he'd run to the bathroom, thinking she'd rather die than be seen fighting that guy. It wouldn't be fair, and she believed she gave all her opponents a fighting chance.

"This guy is a loser, sweet girl!" Ray hissed in her ear, resenting the idea that he A) thought the fight was still on, B) assumed he could beat him in a fight, C) dared to ask Miss Danger out, and D) hoped she might say yes.

"You're telling me. Look, why don't we just go? This was obviously a big mistake--" the heroine said gently, wanting to remove her doofus from the embarrassing situation before anything else could go wrong. But suddenly, a booming, commanding voice came over the speakers as the lights dimmed, and an electric guitar riff replaced the background music.

"Heroes and villains, put your hands together for the hottest villain in Swellview!" The host bellowed, making his fellow villains scream in delight as a shadowy figure dropped through the glass ceiling.

A man dressed in an orange basketball uniform landed gracefully in a puddle of broken glass and spotlight, a deranged scowl on his face when he stood up. The unknown villain accepted an energy drink from someone in the crowd, cracking it open to take a long swig before crumpling the can on his forehead.

"Who's this freak?" (y/n) asked, not knowing whether to be disgusted or impressed as he tossed the can to the floor and howled at the sky like a savage animal.

Everyone, give it up for Kyle!" Judging by the cheers from the crowd, Kyle was hot stuff, and Ray felt his heart sink a little lower as he recognised the name. (y/n) did too, and when she looked at Henry with his gobsmacked expression and awe-inspired eyes, she knew why.

"Dude! Dude! That's Kyle! That's Kyle! That's my match! Oh, he's even better than the pictures!" The boy said excitedly, unable to believe his luck at how his apparent "dud" was the hottest villain around.

However, as much as (y/n) congratulated him, Ray found it impossible to be happy for his sidekick, standing there with his arms folded and a pitiable frown ruining his handsome features.

"I'm ready to go," he said haughtily, utterly done with the charade. He'd been humiliated, mocked, and had become a spectacle, so his bed was only calling to him now, where he could hide in soft sheets and his sweet girl's arms. Anything to forget the name Rumblr and everything to do with it.

"What?

"I'd like to go."

"Are you serious, dude? What about Kyle?" Henry spluttered, marvelling at the man's mardy selfishness. This was the chance of a lifetime, and whilst he knew this started at Ray's night, he'd be insane to pass fighting Kyle - and Ray would be cruel to stop him.

"I'm ready to go." But the hero wouldn't budge.

"Can't you just wait while I fight Kyle?" Henry asked, looking at (y/n) pleadingly, hoping she'd get through to her fiancé if he couldn't. The woman felt for the kid, squeezing his upper arm supportively as she turned to her lover with her diplomatic head on. She felt for Ray, her heart bleeding because she knew how torn up he'd think over this let-down, but taking it out on the kid was unfair.

"Couldn't we wait until Kid Danger is finished with Kyle, doofus?" She asked sweetly, using all of her best tricks to try and soften his hard, bitter exterior, but she fell in love with the man - and his stubbornness.

"What are we supposed to do, darlin'?"

"Let's just...I don't know...fight the grass guy! Just to blow off some steam!" (y/n) suggested, although she didn't sound sure of herself as the couple glanced at The Lawn Ranger to see him taping the tear in his pants. Oh god, he made a tragic sight, bent over without a sewing kit, making Ray look at his lover, unimpressed and bored.

"Ew! Sweet girl, are you serious?"

"Look, you matched with him, right? There's gotta be something between you. You're both interested in Miss Danger--give him a chance!" Henry exclaimed, trying to convince him, but one look at The Lawn Ranger and Ray knew he wouldn't give him any chances. He didn't fight guys with tape on their asses.

"I'm interested in Miss Danger because she's my wife--or she will be! This guy is a loser. Like she said, this was a mistake!"

"Yo, this is just part of putting yourself out there. Okay? You leave now, and you'll end up sad, covered in cereal, and moping around your wife!" Henry sighed, predicting an inevitable future where Ray returned to his slump until the next big fight came. And who knows when that will happen.

"I like cereal! And I don't mope..." the hero argued, growing pouty and defensive since the boy assumed he fell apart when not entertained, turning to cheap fixes, poor hygiene and his poor pretty girl.

"You mope, doofus. You're the mopiest moper who ever moped when you get sad. Besides, we can't ruin this fight for the kid," (y/n) chuckled, rubbing her hands up and down his chest as Ray whined, vying for her affection to soothe the pain in his chest.

She'd admit that fans like The Lawn Ranger weren't her favourite, but he would fill their time significantly as Kyle grew impatient to start his match.

"WHERE'S KID DANGER?" He bellowed, scanning the crowd, and Henry couldn't contain himself. Maybe it was against orders and a little embarrassing - how loud he screamed - but god, he was so ready to throw fists.

"I'm right here!"

"Come on, man. Don't leave me here with this guy!" Ray begged, practically tearing up when his sidekick eagerly walked away, but there was nothing he could do to stop him - just hug his precious fiancée tighter.

"You have Miss Danger! Have fun!" Henry grinned before slinking into the crowd, leaving the couple alone with The Lawn Ranger. (y/n) untangled herself from her doofus, keeping close since he needed the contact, but she couldn't ignore the guy, no matter how pathetic he was.

"Hi," Ray said tightly, knowing he had to keep it civil for the sake of his girl and out of respect for the people around them. However, his so-called perfect match made it so damn difficult not to...deck him.

"Grass attack! Grass attack! Grass attack!" The Lawn Ranger grunted as he chucked fistfuls of grass clippings at him and (y/n). Thankfully, the vegetation didn't do anything - because it was the most ridiculous and ineffective attack either had ever seen - but the sheer audacity had Ray fuming.

"Um, I think I'm gonna sneeze..." (y/n) coughed, rubbing her nose as the grass caught her face. The pollen made her eyes run and her nose itch, which was the final straw for Ray, who could cope with the humiliation, but no one agitated his precious girl's sensitive sniffer.

"Who is the adversary here? Will you excuse us for a second?" He asked, hurrying his fiancée away from The Lawn Loser before she went into a hay fever fit. Unfortunately, during their escape, they happened to stumble across the Lizard Twins, who couldn't help but giggle and snigger after watching the entire exchange.

"Don't you two have anything better to do?" Miss Danger hissed, placing her hands on her hips as she confronted them. Whilst Ray wanted to mope at a spare table in a shadowy corner, she needed to make them see - no one made fun of her doofus. Especially not nobodies like those two.

"You're marrying a dork! Do you seriously wanna be tied to a guy who matched with--"

"Shut up!" The heroine snapped, yanking the laser control from her belt quicker than the Lizard Girl could blink.

She didn't get to finish her sentence before she and her brother hit the ground, thanks to a couple of amber plasma bolts for opening her poxy mouth. The Lawn Ranger watched with an open mouth as they lay there, lifeless, but (y/n) didn't care. Ray was her priority, and she didn't want him out in the open like some roadside freak show, so she took his hand and guided him to what he wanted.

A small, isolated table in a shadowy corner.

"Thank you, sweet girl. You didn't have to do that," Ray said quietly as he sat on the cheap bench, resting his arms on the table. She sat opposite him, reaching out to interlace her fingers with his.

"Yes, I did. You're not a dork. You're a doofus. My doofus. And I hate seeing you like this... I'm sorry it didn't work out," (y/n) replied softly, lifting his hand to kiss his knuckles, her tummy fluttering when the affection made him crack a small, sad smile. Whilst she could give him company, there wasn't much else she could do, just sit with him and be a shoulder to cry on - take his strain for all the times he took hers.

"It's okay. I'm sorting it..." the hero muttered, squeezing her hand like a lifeline as he fished the PearPhone from his belt.

His sweet girl looked at him curiously, taking a moment to figure it out, and Ray could pinpoint when it clicked. He loved that about her--how things connected so quickly for her. He only wished he could do the same.

"Running away won't help."

"Right now, darlin', I just want you and me to go home. Or anywhere. Anywhere but here," Ray sighed, thumbing a specific contact on his phone, which started the achingly long dialling tone as he waited for Charlotte to pick up.

Charlotte was the one to call in an emergency. That girl was brilliant, so she'd help him out, arrange for them to be picked up, and then he could escape this nightmare. (y/n) still didn't like it, hoping the night wouldn't end like this, but he was determined to run.

"What's up, Ray?"

"I wanna go home!" He sounded utterly miserable when Charlotte finally answered, and she didn't seem too pleased to be disturbed so early into the night.

"What's wrong?" The girl sighed, having been enjoying some downtime with her fellow helpers. A disaster involving the man and his planned fight was almost predictable, but she'd expected him to last longer than this.

"The Lawn Ranger is lame. Kid Danger left me. And I'm not even kidding--I sat down in some mustard, and it's all over my butt!" The man cried, making (y/n)'s mouth open in sympathy as he avoided all eye contact. She was ready to cry for him now if she had felt sorry for him, knowing exactly why he didn't mention it earlier.

Did she really wanna be tied to a guy who matched with The Lame Ranger and unknowingly sat in some jerk's spilt mustard? Of course, he stayed silent.

"Oh, doofus..."

"Isn't (y/n) there with you?" Charlotte asked, wondering how it could be so bad when his fiancé was there to support him. She could vaguely hear her voice in the background, so, putting two and two together, she guessed the woman was tending his wounds and drying his tears. Why she was needed was beyond her.

"Yeah, but we--I don't wanna be here. I wanna be in our bedroom, in bed, with no one watching, so we can--"

"Gonna stop you there!" Charlotte exclaimed hurriedly, wanting to know none of the finer details--for the sake of her innocence. Instead, she changed her focus, glad to know someone was sitting with him, although she felt for (y/n) and all the moping she was putting up with. Because he moped. A lot.

"Where did Henry go?"

"He's fighting Kyle, who's awesome," Ray sniffled as the kid of the moment was thrown through a window. His fight had led him to the building rafters, where Kyle had momentarily gotten the upper hand, meaning he took a tumble.

"Holy shit!" (y/n) gasped, feeling her heart thud against her rib cage when the boy landed on his back with a grunt. Her boy. Her kid. Beaten like a punching bag. Tossed around like a rag doll. And yet strangely, he seemed to be enjoying it.

"This is the best fight I've ever had in my entire life!"

"I'm gonna destroy you!" The couple watched in shock as Henry got to his feet just as Kyle broke through the window's remains. It was all fun and games for them, witty banter passing between the two as Henry pulled out a grappling gun and shot the hook across the room.

"Where'd you get a grappling hook?!" Ray questioned, almost speechless at how their relationship had blossomed; from humble beginnings to solid sparring partners, both were fighting for their lives - all in good fun.

"I took it off Kyle! He knows exactly what I like!" Henry grinned before zipping off, flying away before his opponent could thump him. Kyle landed before he could get a hit in, but he was still tenacious, hot on Kid Danger's heels to resume the spat. Seeing Henry having so much fun infuriated Ray, so he returned to his phone.

"I wanna go home! Tell Piper to come pick Miss Danger and me up!" He begged, pulling (y/n) beside him this time. It was a tight squeeze in the booth, but they managed it, her practically sitting on his knee, but Ray liked it. He craved it. The close contact until they could go home.

"Just drive yourself!" Charlotte told him, knowing they'd taken the Man Van.

"Kid Danger has the keys! Come on! Piper has a license--we've established this!" The man whined down the receiver, stamping his foot as best he could with (y/n) so close. He sounded like a child, tragic and annoying, as he begged for help, clutched the phone and nuzzled into his sweet girl simultaneously, searching for support and comfort where he could.

"Y'know, it's funny. I feel like ten minutes ago, I told you to drive yourself, but you're still talking and not driving," the girl sassed, recalling her boss' words earlier that afternoon when he'd been so rude to her.

"When I said that to you earlier, it was hilarious, but when you say it to me, it's just mean!" Ray sniffed, hoping she'd put her unkindness aside to rescue him and his girl. However, his suffering was what Charlotte wanted to hear. Satisfied he was moping, she hung up, much to her pleasure and Ray's despair.

"What?! No! She hung up on me!"

"I won't lecture you on being friendly again, but just remember that what goes around comes around, doofus. And now, we're stuck here," (y/n) sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, pausing to kiss the edge of it.

Ray hummed, aware she was right, but he didn't want to repent, apologise, or grovel. He wanted to go home.

"This night is a bust," he sniffled, wallowing in self-pity and misery as he turned to kiss her head in return.

Perhaps he'd reflect on this moment later and deem it the highlight of the evening - a quiet spot and a private conversation with his darling girl, who put up with more of his shit than she deserved. But right now, nothing seemed to shine, not even as they slipped their hands together and rested for a second.

"It'll be over soon. We'll just wait for the kid, and then, we can slip out. I mean, what else can go wrong?" (y/n) chuckled humourlessly, rubbing her cheek against his uniform's silken sleeve as they assumed all that was left was a long wait for Henry to finish...until a voice came from behind.

"Grass attack incoming!" The unmistakable sound of The Lawn Ranger exclaimed, appearing from nowhere, making Ray sigh, but nothing could've prepared the couple for what he planned on doing.

Suddenly, a grass shower rained on their heads, making (y/n) gasp softly and lean into her doofus, voicing her annoyance with a disgruntled whine. He'd been told to back off, yet he'd returned, throwing handfuls of grass over them, ruining her hair and making her nose itch again.

"What the--"

"Grass on your head! Grass on your back!" The Lawn Ranger grunted, explicitly aiming for Ray, but given his proximity to Miss Danger, it was inevitable some of his attacks would scatter over her too. A stony expression fell on the hero's face, drawing a line between himself and his fiancée because she didn't sign up for this harassment, and honestly, neither did he.

"Grass on your shoulders! Supergrass attack!"

"ACHOO!--Sorry...allergies," (y/n) sniffed, holding her nose to try and stop herself from losing it again, but the itching wouldn't stop.

That was the final straw for Ray. He usually found her sneezes adorable, but now, he'd reached the end of his rope.

"I can't do this. Come on, sweet girl..." he muttered, moving to leave with Miss Danger; he didn't know where, but he had to get away from this loser. Rising from the table, hands still joined, they stepped away from The Lawn Ranger, who looked shocked at the man's rudeness.

"What's wrong?"

"Look, you seem like an awful person," Ray sighed, meaning it in the kindest way since he was a villain. Apparently.

"Thank you!"

"And any hero would be lucky to fight you..."

"What are you doing?" The guy asked worriedly, sensing something was wrong from how Miss Danger avoided his gaze and Captain Man spoke - his words sounding like the end game.

"I'm breaking up this fight," Ray said, ripping off the bandaid instead of dragging it out. Maybe it was cruel, but fighting the dweeb would be worse, knowing one punch would finish him, so no matter how much he whined, he didn't want to be associated anymore.

"No, I can change! Literally! In the winter, I turn brown!" The Lawn Ranger reasoned as if that would make it any better.

Of all the things he could've said, becoming a sad, crispy colour didn't impress, not like Kyle did with Henry as the two streaked past, the former dodging lasers as the kid spammed his controllers.

"Kyle is everything!" Kid Danger grinned before continuing, sparing no time for his boss since he enjoyed himself so much. That did it for Ray; the humiliation was too much, and he didn't care if he had to wait on a park bench in the driving, pissing rain.

"And we're leaving. Miss Danger, are you coming?"

"Of course," (y/n) nodded, darting under his arm as she braced herself for the stormy night, but they couldn't leave until The Lawn Ranger stopped whining.

"But why?! I haven't even asked Miss Danger for a fight yet!"

"Look, it's not you. It's me. I'm...too good for you. And believe me, my incredibly hot fiancée's way outta your league," Ray replied, leaving (y/n) unsure whether he regarded her superhero skills or more feminine ones--like she'd be interested in the guy.

Regardless, that's where they left it, turning to leave before things got ugly, but without looking where they were going, it was inevitable they'd bump into someone. Unfortunately, the Lizard Twins had to be another stroke of luck.

"Sorry..."

"We didn't see you there--"

"Hey! Thanks for swiping us!"

"Yeah, can't wait to fight you," the brother-sister duo said, confusing the couple as they stared at Ray with their reptilian eyes. The hero had no idea what they were talking about, with the last thing he wanted being another fight.

"I didn't match with either of you."

"Yes, you did," the guy argued as he and his sister took out their phones, and to the heroes' shock, there it was on the Rumblr app. Captain Man had been signed up by some unknown power to fight the Lizard Twins - his account had accepted the fight proposal. And that wasn't the worst bit.

"These guys say you matched with them, too," the girl said, gesturing over her shoulder, where a whole hoard of villains stood, each presenting their phones to show that Ray had arranged to fight everyone.

He and (y/n) gulped as they studied his phone, wondering how it could've happened, but as far as the villains were concerned, he was fair game.

"Let's rush this fool!" One bellowed a battle cry, rallying his fellow bad guys to take on Captain Man.

"Care to fight, Miss Danger?" He asked, glancing at his sweet girl as they dug their heels in and charged. There was little time to decide, and Ray would understand if she wanted to duck for cover behind the bar, but that wasn't how (y/n) rolled. His fights were hers, no matter how outnumbered they were.

"Oh, Captain... It would be my pleasure," she smirked, clenching her fists before charging with him, taking on the stampede head-on.

Immediately, they were pushed to the centre, fists and feet coming out of nowhere as they clawed at whoever they could touch--and in the middle of that lot, there was plenty to handle. No one could tell who was hitting who, but it felt good to work out the frustration, even if it meant taking a few dozen blows to the ribs.

Eventually, they fell to the floor, pummelled down by the onslaught, but it was better down there despite being trodden on a few times. In the madness, Ray managed to find his lover, gripping her hand as he yelled in her ear to start crawling; there had to be an exit somewhere.

Crawling on their bellies, the couple made it out alive, a little sore and breathless but pumped with adrenaline, raring to go back in. Henry was too busy with Kyle to notice the mass brawl in the middle of the room, but that was okay because they'd found their own entertainment - a veritable scrum.

"This is barbaric," (y/n) panted, rolling her shoulders back as the bruises and internal bleeding fled her body. Being in the middle of the brawl was awful, but being a spectator was worse; the sheer savagery would make anyone turn conscientious objector.

"I know...wanna go again?" Ray smirked, nudging her elbow once they'd caught their breath. It was savage, dangerous, and bloody, which made it fun. Exhilarating.

"With you? Always, doofus," the heroine giggled, becoming breathless again when he pulled her into a hurried kiss--all tongue and clashing teeth since Ray was running on adrenaline, yet he needed his fix. Miss Danger was hot when she fought; he liked girls who could hold their own. It was an impulse.

Breaking apart as quickly as they connected, they bared their fists again and went for it, screaming and diving for the crowd, but then...nothing. No welcome. No returned battle cry, nothing.

Standing back and observing allowed the couple to see the fight for what it was; a mass scrabble for anyone bored enough to have some excess energy. Even though Captain Man was the one who started it, he wasn't missed.

Hell, he wasn't even sure if his so-called matches even realised he was missing, the final blow coming when The Lawn Ranger pushed him aside, knocking his large frame into (y/n)'s simply so he could rejoin the fight. What happened to his eagerness to fight the legendary hero?

"Guys! I found more grass outside!" He said joyfully, receiving no reply, but he joined the fray anyway.

"Hey, I thought we were...weren't you fighting me? And Miss Danger? Guys? Remember? We matched? Guys? Lawn Guy?" Ray called out in vain, drawing no one's attention as the fight drifted outside, where the competitors would have more room to try and Kill each other.

That told them everything they needed to know, and to her sorrow, (y/n) could pinpoint the moment Ray's heart shattered.

"They're gone, doofus. I, uh...think they forgot about us," (y/n) told him gently, emphasising the final word because she realised how lonely the place felt now nearly everyone had left. There were a few stragglers, but they looked only there for the music, company and booze.

No, they were alone now, and she didn't want Ray to feel such a terrible thing by himself, yet his face said everything. Not sad, dejected, angry, or rejected, just hopeless. The feeling that comes when everything is over.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be, darlin'. You've been...amazing. It's just...this day is the worst," Ray sighed, slipping out from underneath her supportive hand to slump on a bar stool. Everything had drained from his body; he had nothing to give except sagging over the bar with her standing between his knees.

"What can I do to make it better?" She asked gently, hands stroking his cheeks as she prepared to do anything to cheer him up, but suddenly, something happened neither of them had expected.

"Eh, yo, excuse me," the bartender caught their attention, unphased by the Captain's melancholic stare and Miss Danger's protectively suspicious squint. Perhaps he was interrupting, but he didn't care.

"We didn't order any drinks," (y/n) told him slowly, baffled when the man placed two glasses in front of them - one containing fresh, creamy milk and the other her go-to cocktail. An odd combination but an uncanny one because few people knew her order.

"These are from the gentleman at the end of the bar."

"Who?..." Ray asked, only for the words to die on his tongue as their gazes fell on a lone figure not two metres away.

There, perched on a stool, drinking warm milk from a sippy cup, was The Toddler. The actual Toddler. He didn't shout nonsense, pull a ridiculous weapon, or even vow destruction on Swellview. All he did was give the awestruck couple a friendly nod and a warm smile - the kind you'd get when seeing an old friend for the first time in years.

"Toddler?" Ray frowned, a million questions racing through his mind, but the man-child didn't speak. He jerked his head to the stool next to him, wanting to talk privately rather than shout across the room.

"Come on, sweet girl..."

"Wait, doofus," (y/n) stopped him, holding onto her lover's bicep when he tried to guide her over there. She wasn't scared or anything stupid like that, but she felt there was a time and place for everyone, and right now, her calling was to wait for him, sip her cocktail, and leave him to talk without her.

"Go talk to him. I'll be right here if you need me."

"Are you sure? I don't like leaving you here, especially in this dump," Ray replied worriedly, glancing around the room like someone would try something on Miss Danger with Captain Man so close. His worries were unfounded there, but leaving her out still didn't seem right.

"I'll be here when you're done. Go to him," she implored, pecking his lips before gently pushing her doofus away. Shuffling on the bar stool, she crossed her legs and took a long sip through her curly straw, meaning Ray knew she meant business. He circled the bar slowly, tentatively, gingerly, feeling her eyes on his back with The Toddler's on his face - watching his every move.

"Well, well, well...Captain Man," The Toddler said, smiling warmly like he was meeting up with an old friend - and he was, in a way, just not in a way Ray ever expected.

"What are you doing here?"

"I, uh...been a little bored lately. Fighting the same heroes over and over again," the villain sighed, clenching his fingers around his sippy cup as he retold a story that was eerily familiar to his adversary.

"Right?" Ray chuckled quietly, relaxing against the bar's edge. Sitting down made him feel vulnerable, so at least like this, he could still be on his feet and ready for action - plus, he could smoothly turn his head to check on his sweet girl.

The Toddler noted his wariness, eyes sliding to Miss Danger over the way, but he said nothing, knowing they were in a unique situation.

"So, my younger brother--"

"The Newborn?"

"Yeah, he talked me into making a profile on this app called Rumblr," he said, shocking Captain Man because it was like he was telling his story. How a slightly annoying but lovable younger brother convinced him it would be a good idea to sign his soul to the goddamn devil of online fighting.

"I did the same thing! That's why I'm here!"

"Same, but I don't know... It's not for me," The Toddler sighed, staring at his warm milk because his night had been terrible like the hero in front of him. A total disaster. He was tired, back at square one, and didn't know what to do, but at least he'd found a kindred spirit.

"Thank you!"

"I mean, Rumblr set me up tonight with this hero named Kicky McGee. And he didn't look anything like his picture!" The villain exclaimed, looking fed up with everything.

Across the bar, (y/n) dropped a few eaves and smiled into her drink, knowing some heroes and villains are just made for each other - there was no shame in exploring old partnerships.

"Yes! Who does that?!..." Ray agreed, leaning against the bar again as the two fell silent for a second, unknowingly sharing the same thought.

"I like to meet my heroes the old-fashioned way."

"I like to meet my villains the old-fashioned way," they said together, their faces becoming severe when they realised how much they had in common, despite being sworn enemies. Hero stared at villain, and villain stared at hero. And both were on the same page for the first time in their long history.

"You know, Miss Danger said that before we came, but I, uh...didn't think it was true," Ray said nervously, licking his lips as he tried to find the right words. His sweet girl was onto something with that thought, making the men look over their shoulders to see her drinking alone, resting her chin on her hand as she stirred what was left in the bottom of her glass.

"Hmmm..." The Toddler hummed, pensive, as he tipped another splash of milk into his mouth before speaking, "You've got yourself a great girl there, Captain Man. Excuse me if I sound disgusting for a moment, but she makes you an even greater hero. I'd hate to see anything bad happen to her."

"I know... She's everything to me," Ray replied wistfully, his eyes growing soft when Miss Danger noticed them staring and smiled. Toddler chuckled quietly when he saw how Captain Man switched off, utterly enchanted by such a simple, sweet smile, but he'd known from the minute he first saw them together. She was the only thing in his eyes.

The serenity didn't last. Before they could settle into the comfort and, strangely enough, the safety of a moment's ceasefire, Henry burst onto the scene. He'd been run ragged by Kyle, panting and aching from the non-stop combat, but he had no complaints. That had been the best night of his life.

"Ahhh, what a fight! That was amazing!"

"Congrats!" The Toddler remarked, not in a snarky manner, but maybe with a hint of jealousy. At least someone's night went well, but upon the sound of one of his greatest enemies, Kid Danger's hackles went up, his chest puffed out, and his expression hardened. What was Ray doing sharing a drink with...him?

"Toddler?!" He spat, clenching his fists like he would thump him one. This was too good to miss, and past altercations couldn't be ignored, yet the boy looked at his boss with pure betrayal when he stopped him from getting any closer.

"Hey, easy, junior. I'm off the clock," Todd reassured him, showing the sidekick his drink so he knew he meant no harm. Henry looked baffled but backed off, seeing how relaxed Ray felt--enough to leave (y/n) alone over two metres away.

"Well, I guess I should get going anyways," the villain sighed, thinking he'd overstayed his welcome, but there was a mischievous glint in his eye. He hopped off his stool, taking his drink from the bar, but not before smiling coyly at the duo.

"I gotta swing by Swellview Airport and...not skyjack a cargo plane full of blankies. Sure would be a shame if someone tried to stop me," he said, saying one thing and meaning another, but he didn't push it any further.

"Well, see you around."

"Thanks for the drinks, Todd," Ray called after him gratefully, knowing he and his sweet girl needed a pick-me-up after their night. It was a surprisingly sweet gesture, and despite their differences, the hero genuinely appreciated it.

"Toddler..." the man-child corrected him for old time's sake, his smile full of mirth and...fondness as he tipped them his drink before walking away.

Leaving the hero and his sidekick to chat, The Toddler circled the bar, searching for one person.

Still sitting on her stool, Miss Danger looked rather bored, having reached the end of her cocktail, and she had no doofus to entertain her. She was so lost in her own thoughts she didn't hear him approaching, noticing the villain only when he was by her elbow, dwarfed by the height she gained on the tall chair.

"Can I get you another drink?" He asked smoothly, making her laugh as she pushed her glass toward the bartender.

"No, thank you. Technically, I'm on duty," (y/n) replied, gesturing to her bright uniform, which dictated that she was meant to be working, not overindulging. Even if there weren't any apparent threats, she liked to stay sharp, something The Toddler silently admired as she straightened herself out and gave him a polite smile.

Captain Man sure knew how to pick them.

"Oh, right, right... You and Captain Man..."

"What about us?" (y/n) asked cautiously, turning to give him her full attention. It was difficult to relax entirely in his presence, but she had to admit; he'd piqued her curiosity simply by talking to her and not going home.

"You're good for each other," the man-child said casually, shrugging as if they weren't entering dangerous territories - crossing their personal lives with work. The woman raised an eyebrow at that, wondering why he'd bring it up after years of knowing her and Ray and showing no interest in what they were like as people.

"Since when are you a romantic?"

"I'm not..." he replied, showing no interest as he pushed off the bar, making her wonder why he'd come over to talk. Surely, he didn't just want to compliment her and Captain Man's relationship; otherwise, he could've just said it the next time they fought.

"But, uh...me and the Captain have a little...something arranged, and I was wondering if you want to join us?" The Toddler offered, shuffling his feet, making her giggle. Was he nervous? Because of her? Well, consider her flattered, although a little hesitant.

"Are you asking me to a...fight?"

"Yeah...

"Well..." (y/n) paused, gaze flicking to where Ray and Henry were nattering, the latter clearly trying to convince his boss to go after him - to have the fight they both obviously wanted. But the man hadn't actually said yes, and from the looks of things, he was dithering about whether he wanted to go, which made her reluctant.

"I don't know... I came here for Captain Man. It wouldn't be right to leave without him," she said sadly, trying to let him down as gently as she could. It wasn't a straight-out refusal or an unreserved yes, but The Toddler understood her position. He still had hope.

"Hey, I get it. But if you change your mind, I'll be at Swellview Airport all night... Feel free to bring your boyfriend if you want," he smiled, strolling away with a soft smile like he already knew what she'd do.

He'd just gotten to the exit when the entire conversation caught up with her - not some crazy fever dream where she and her doofus were friends with The Toddler for a few minutes. It had happened, and if he could tease her, she could tease him.

"Fiancé!" She called after him, loving the small yet significant correction. Todd did not indicate whether he heard her, but she didn't need it.

Looking a little crazy as she sat there, grinning, she lost herself in her thoughts again, spurred on by the fluttering in her tummy from thoughts of him. Her doofus, who hurried to her side - out of nowhere - with more energy than he'd had in days, was inspired by Henry and his insistence that The Toddler wanted more than a drink at the bar.

"Sweet girl! We gotta go to the airport! Toddler's gonna skyjack a plane!" Ray exclaimed as he skidded to a halt, seizing her forearms because he wanted to chase after the villain. And he wanted her to go with him...if that was all right with her.

"Oh, was that what he was talking about? Big fight, is it?" (y/n) asked, sliding off the stool and stepping into her lover's space. Ray's fingers slid down her arms and curled around her waist, pulling her closer until their navels touched.

"Huge. Just what I need to bounce back..."

"Then, what are you doing standing here? Go after him!" She exclaimed, wondering why he was making the villain wait when he'd ask for a fight - the old-fashioned way, just how they both liked. Ray sighed, cupped and stroked her cheek with a soft gaze, thinking his place was standing there with her.

"Only if you come with me," he replied, unphased, when she looked surprised as if she couldn't imagine him wanting her there.

"Doofus, this is your fight. Are you sure?"

"Do I want to see Miss Danger kicking ass in this skirt? Hell yeah, I'm sure," Ray chuckled, growing hot under the collar from the mere thought, and his lifted mood made her smile. It was nice to see him happy again, and now that she thought of it, Toddler had invited her too, so it wouldn't be intruding.

Come to think of it, when was the last time she and Captain Man fought side by side with nothing to stop them? Maybe she needed it as much as he did; the offer was more tempting now.

"So, darlin', what do you say? Wanna go on a fight with me?"

"It wouldn't be the first time you asked me out," (y/n) joked, leaning up to kiss his cheek before pulling away to give him her answer, "but yes, doofus. I would love to go on a fight with you."

"Then, what are we doing standing here?" Ray grinned, looking ten years younger when the emotion stretched across his face.

He conjoined their hands tightly without further prompting, pulling her away from the bar with a feverish need that the bartender knew all too well. He saw those goo-goo eyes the hero gave to his fiancée, so his assumption wasn't unfounded, meaning he smiled and shook his head as he watched the lovers race for the door.

On the way out, they passed a familiar face - The Lawn Ranger, holding a slab of freshly dug grass for the long-gone brawl. He looked at the couple longingly, expecting to bag himself a fight now everyone else had left, but Ray was ready to plough down anyone in his path, even tubby, grassy weirdos like him.

Releasing a long battle cry, and with his hand still clutching his sweet girl's, he charged at The Lawn Ranger, swinging his fist and landing a brutal blow on his nose. It splattered across his face, making the so-called villain clutch his face in pain, but he never got a chance to grass attack them.

Before he could blink, the heroes were long gone, stealing away into the night since they had a prior engagement. And a flight to catch.

"That was so mean, Raymond," (y/n) hissed as they ran into the rain, making her squeal and shield her head, not that she had any chance of saving her hair. Part of her didn't care for the pathetic man, thinking he was weird, but she was too sweet not to feel a sliver of guilt, wondering if they should've stuck around a little longer.

"Trust me, sweet girl, we've done him a huge favour. No one would want to fight him, but at least now he can say Captain Man punched him in the face," Ray bragged, holding his muscled arm over her head to act as a makeshift umbrella.

"True...and I can say Captain Man took me home tonight," she giggled, hurrying along the sidewalk as they headed for the dank, dirty alleyway where Ray parked the Man Van.

It wasn't a long walk, but the chilly air made her shiver and duck into his side, stealing the warmth radiating from her human furnace. Ray laughed, bringing her closer since he knew her uniform wasn't built for heat retention, and if they didn't stick out like sore thumbs, they'd look like any regular couple hurrying down the road.

"That was never in doubt, my love. I'll choose you every time," he promised as they ducked into the alleyway.

No one noticed the heroes' presence in the shadows, how they whispered each other's names and paused against the wall. Ray dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers, leaving her breathless more than the frigid air ever could - kissing in the rain.

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