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flickering-chandelier · 5 months

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Will It Patch Your Broken Wings?

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel is feeling insecure one night and cheats on Reader. She is absolutely devastated and wants nothing to do with him, but he is determined to show her how much he loves her.

Inspired by the love triangle in Taylor Swift’s betty/august/cardigan

Based on this request! 🩷

Warnings: angst, cheating, swearing

Word Count: 6.3k

Betty, I know where it all went wrong

Your favorite song was playing

From the far side of the gym

I was nowhere to be found

I hate the crowds, you know that

Plus, I saw you dance with him

Azriel tucked his wing in tighter as you led him through Rita’s, your hand in his, a bounce in your step. You loved it here: the energy, the dancing, the music.

Azriel, on the other hand, really only went along because he loved you.

The music was pounding in Azriel’s mind, overwhelming his senses. He could normally block it out and will his body to be loose enough to attempt to dance with you, but today had been a particularly long day in which he had to… secure information from some traitors.

He didn’t let his memory go past that, not when he was with you. But it had been a day. A terrible day.

You were dancing now, like you were born to do it, like you didn’t care at all who was watching. You turned to him, a bright smile lighting up your face, and he couldn’t help but soften at the sight, feeling comforted by your effortless radiance.

He would never understand why you had chosen him. He was thankful of course, but he was willing to admit the two of you sometimes seemed like an unlikely pair. You were bright and bubbly, lighting up every room -- a direct juxtaposition to his shadows, his darkness, his tendency to be stoic and silent.

Watching him stay completely still in the middle of the crowd, your face fell, and you sidled up to him, craning your neck to look him in the eyes as you got closer, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Are you okay? We can go home if you want.”

Azriel smiled faintly at you, dipping his head to give you a quick kiss. “Long day. You can dance. I’m going for a drink.”

You nodded, but still eyed him warily for a moment, gaze lingering on his swirling shadows, before turning back to the dance floor.

By the time Azriel got his drink (the strongest they had), you were fully engrossed in a song that he realized was one of your favorites. He watched as you writhed on the middle of the dance floor, swaying your hips, a bright smile on your face.

A male came up to you then, taking your hand and twirling you under his arm. You laughed brightly before moving away from him, dancing on your own once again.

Azriel couldn’t stop his heart from plummeting. That’s the kind of male she should be with, he thought. The kind that goes to a normal job and comes home without shadows or demons to chase away in his mind. The kind that can dance and twirl and laugh with you without a care in the world.

He watched as you danced and danced, occasionally dancing with a random male for a moment before moving on.

She deserves better than you. She always has.

His breath was coming faster and faster now, the music pounding in his ears, through his skull, all that heat from so many bodies closing in on him. He had to get out, had to stretch his wings, had to get out.

Azriel shoved through the crowd and burst through the doors, out into the cool night, stretching out his wings and breathing deeply. He cursed himself. He was normally better than this, better at maintaining his emotions, his panic. By the Cauldron, he was the Night Court’s spymaster and he couldn’t handle an evening in a nightclub with his lover.

Pathetic. That’s what he was.

“Are you okay?” a light, sing-songy voice broke through his rumbling thoughts.

He turned to see a very pretty High Fae woman. She was dressed a bit like Mor, he couldn’t help thinking, wearing a thin red dress that showed off all her assets, her light brown hair cascading down past her shoulders.

She gave him a look that he hadn’t seen, or at least paid attention to, from a stranger in a very long time.

He blinked. “Honestly? I don’t think so.”

Her lips slowly curved up into a sultry smile. “Anything I would be able to help you with?”

No. No, you cannot help me. I don't think anybody can.

She watched him, her eyes sparkling with mischief, before she tilted her head for him to follow.

And Mother save him, he did.

---

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

August sipped away like a bottle of wine

'Cause you were never mine.

Your heart had been pounding, your body trembling, ever since you realized that Azriel was nowhere to be found.

Something must have happened to him. It was the only explanation. He wouldn’t just leave you without a word.

But, what could have possibly happened to the shadowsinger, in Velaris, of all places?

Your hand shook as you raised it to pound on the door of the river house.

Rhysand was the one who answered, shirtless, hair a mess. He looked very unhappy to see you.

“I need you to find Azriel,” you nearly shouted before he could scold you.

He sobered immediately, noticing your distress. “What do you mean?”

You explained to him what had happened, that he had seemed off at Rita's, that he told you he was going to get a drink, then vanished. You had assumed that he had been lingering on the outskirts of the dance floor, and didn't notice for quite some time that he had left completely.

“I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation,” he said soothingly. “Did you check your apartment?”

You nodded. He wasn't there, at the home he shared with you. “And the townhouse.”

Rhysand's violet eyes were contemplative. Hesitating.

“Can't you just…feel for him or whatever?”

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Yeah. I can.”

“Then do it!”

Rhysand's eyes went unfocused after a beat, and when they widened again in surprise, you knew he had found him.

“What is it? Is he okay?”

“He's… at a random apartment. At least it's not one that I recognize.”

Your heart lurched. “What? Why?”

Rhys shrugged, his expression darkening. “Okay. Shit. Wait here, I'll go tell Feyre what's going on and take you to him.”

Rhysand came back a moment later, now in his normal black attire, and winnowed you in front of an apartment complex not far from Rita's. You had certainly never been here before. The silence was agony as you followed Rhys up the stairs, to the door.

He glanced back at you, a question in his eyes. You shook your head and he knocked, the sound rattling around in your skull.

You heard shuffling, giggling, and then.

Then.

A woman answered the door. A beautiful woman who was wearing Azriel's shirt.

A woman who was wearing your lover’s shirt and nothing else.

Your knees nearly buckled. You tasted bile in your mouth. You were going to be sick.

She cocked her head to the side. “Yes?”

Rhysand was deathly still, his power rippling from him, darkening the doorway. You remained behind him, but you had to know. Had to know for sure.

So you peeked around Rhysand's shoulder, further into the woman's apartment.

And saw Azriel, bare chested, lying in her bed, the sheets bunched up at his waist, his wings drooping on the ground, his hand tucked under his head, staring at the ceiling, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

You barely had time to spin around before you emptied your stomach in the hallway.

---

The worst thing that I ever did

was what I did to you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Az?” Rhysand's voice boomed from the door the woman had just answered.

Hearing such a familiar voice in such an unfamiliar setting was initially what shocked Azriel enough that he nearly fell out of bed.

Then it hit him.

Rhysand was here.

No no no no no no--

Azriel scrambled up out of the woman's bed, frantically searching for his pants and tugging them on.

“I-”

“Don't answer that.” Rhysand spat, and it was then that Azriel realized Rhys was holding you upright as both of you lingered in the doorway.

His heart stopped working. His mind stopped working.

He said your name, but it came out more like a croak.

You were trembling in Rhysand's arms, tears sliding down your cheeks.

What had he done what had he done what had he done--

Azriel took a step forward, but you recoiled, and he knew you would've fallen to the ground if Rhysand hadn't been holding you.

You looked… afraid of him. Not just hurt, not just disgusted, but actually afraid.

He said your name again, his voice and his heart breaking, but you turned to Rhysand and said in the smallest voice he'd ever heard, “Get me away from him.”

Rhysand shot you one last withering glance before he winnowed out of sight, taking you with him.

It was silent for a moment, until the woman said, “If I'd known you were such an asshole, I never would have done this.”

Azriel sank to his knees and wept.

---

You drew stars around my scars

But now I'm bleeding.

Back at the river house, Feyre was holding you as your body continued to shake, silent tears continued to fall, while Rhysand paced back and forth, rage radiating off of him.

“Azriel?” Feyre asked, wide eyed. “Our Azriel?”

“He's certainly not mine anymore,” you sniffed, and Feyre winced, shooting you an apologetic glance, holding you a little tighter.

“I can't believe it,” Rhys said, still pacing in the spare room where they had set you up for the night. “I cannot believe him.”

There was a knock on the door of the house and you froze. You all knew who it was.

You looked at Rhys, your eyes pleading.

“I won't let him in,” he said, his expression softening as he turned to you. “I'll ward the fucking house against him if I have to,” he growled, mostly to himself, as he retreated to send him away.

You leaned further into Feyre, grateful for your friends.

For his friends, you realized. His family.

They were on your side now, but you knew where their allegiance would ultimately lie.

In losing Azriel, you would lose your family, too.

Sobs racked your body then, and Feyre held on tight, settling her cheek on the top of your head.

You thought of all the walls Azriel had broken down around your heart, all the promises he had made about love and forever. All the broken pieces of you that you had let him see, that he had helped you heal.

But it was all a lie.

You couldn't stop seeing it -- the woman, naked except for his shirt; Azriel, naked in her bed.

You wept and wept until there was absolutely nothing left of you.

---

A friend to all is a friend to none

Chase two girls, lose the one.

Azriel had come to the river house twice a day for the past three days.

Each time, Rhysand opened the door, molten hot rage in his eyes, and told him to leave, that you weren’t ready yet. Azriel couldn’t blame him.

He knew there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say to make it better. To make you better. He could try to explain what he had been feeling that night, but it wouldn’t matter, not really. It was all excuses, and he knew it.

Azriel had destroyed everything. And now he just had to watch as his world burned down.

Letting out a shuddering sigh, he knocked on Rhysand’s door, expecting to see his pissed off brother again, but it was Feyre who appeared.

He had never seen his High Lady look so disappointed. He hated that it was directed at him.

“How could you do it?” she said, crossing her arms, leaning against the doorway.

Azriel felt tears prickling his eyes, and willed them not to fall. “I never felt like I deserved her,” he said quietly.

“Well you definitely don’t now.”

He winced. “I know. I just -- I want to see her. How is she?”

Feyre furrowed her brow, furious. “How is she? She hasn’t left her room since she got here. Elain’s been forcing water down her throat so she doesn’t shrivel up and die, that’s how she is.”

Azriel swallowed, trying to steady his shaking hands. He felt like he was drowning. He wished he would, if it meant that it would make you stop feeling like that. “Do you think she’ll talk to me?”

She studied him, her mouth a hard, thin line. Finally, she turned, heading inside and he followed her, his knees wobbling.

When they made it to your door, she knocked softly, saying through the door, “He’s here.”

Azriel held his breath until the door opened, slowly.

And when he saw you, he couldn’t breathe. You looked… devastating. Your eyes were red and swollen, you were pale, your hair was a mess.

It was his fault. He had done this to you. He felt sick.

Your eyes were hollow when you looked at him, like you didn’t feel anything at all.

“Do you want me to stay?” Feyre asked you quietly.

You shook your head, your eyes darting away from Azriel. Feyre shot him a warning glare before she reluctantly went down the hallway.

You turned, moving to sit on the bed that looked like it hadn’t been made in days, every movement you made looking wary, exhausted. Destroyed. Your eyes were fixed on your hands in your lap, unwilling to look at him.

Azriel lingered just inside the room, feeling uncomfortable in his skin. He longed to hold you in his arms, to kiss your pain away.

He said your name, willing you to look at him. You flinched.

It felt like a punch to the gut. Azriel wanted the earth to swallow him whole.

“I am so, so sorry,” he rasped.

You shook your head, not looking up. “How could you do this, Az? How could you do this to me?” Your voice cracked when you said his name.

Tears started to fall down his own cheeks as he said, “I… don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I saw you dancing with those males, looking so carefree, and I didn’t feel like I fit into that part of your life. I’ve always felt like you deserved someone better than me, someone… easier.”

Finally, you looked up at him, and he wished you hadn’t. Your eyes were full of fury. And hurt. He had never seen you like that before. “You cheated on me because I danced with some guys for two seconds?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Azriel tried.

“You think I wanted somebody like them? Somebody easier?”

Azriel opened his mouth, then closed it again. “I thought--”

“I wanted you,” you spat, and he recoiled at the hurt in your voice, at the pain in your eyes that he had put there. “All I ever wanted was you.”

He couldn't breathe. His voice came out weaker than he had ever heard it, “I'm sorry. It was a mistake, I'm a miserable, miserable fool. I want you. You're all I want.”

You laughed, but it was a hollow, bitter sound. “How can you even say that after what you did?”

“I know, you’re right,” he sighed, raking a scarred hand through his hair, his shadows dancing around his arms. “It doesn’t make sense, what I did. It was stupid and awful, and the worst thing that I’ve ever done, and I am so so sorry,” he said, taking a step forward, reaching his hand out to take yours.

“Don’t touch me,” you spat, wrenching your hand away.

He blinked, taking a step back, his heart in his throat.

“You said you loved me,” you said, your voice now barely a whisper, as if all your energy had been completely drained. “You said you wanted to be with me forever. Did you ever mean any of it?”

“Of course I did,” he said softly. “I still do. I love you. I want you.”

You sniffed, putting your head in your hands. “Well. You should’ve thought of that before you fucked her.”

He blanched at your tone, at your language. He didn’t think you’d ever said that word before, at least not around him.

“Please,” he said, his voice breaking, as he knelt down in front of you, trying to meet your eyes. “Please, what can I do? What can I do to fix this?”

Your eyes rose to meet his. You took in the sight, the shadowsinger kneeling before you, begging for your forgiveness. “You can’t fix it,” you said, seething. “You left me. You abandoned me at Rita’s. Do you have any idea how that felt? I thought something horrible had happened to you!”

Azriel tightened his jaw. He hadn’t known, hadn’t even thought about--

“And then to see you. With her. In her bed,” you broke off, looking at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears from falling, he knew.

“I’m sorry.” It was all he could say. His tears were flowing down his cheeks now and he hastily wiped them away, not wanting to take his eyes off you for fear that you would vanish.

After a long moment, you leveled your gaze on him again. “Would you have told me? If I wasn’t worried sick, if I had just gone home, and waited for you to stumble on in, would you have told me? Or would you just keep acting like everything was fine, knowing that you had just betrayed me?”

Azriel swallowed hard. He thought about the guilt he had felt immediately, how he was contemplating what the hell he was going to tell you as he was staring at that ceiling before Rhysand had knocked. “I would’ve told you,” he said, his voice husky. “I was going to tell you.”

You scoffed, shaking your head, looking anywhere but him. “I don’t even know why I asked. How can I trust anything you say?”

“I don’t know. But it’s true,” he said, shifting on his knees, wishing he could reach for your hand.

Hiding your face in your hands, you said, barely audibly, “I hate you. I hate you for doing this to me and making me feel like this.”

Azriel’s heart finally shattered completely. He knew he would never be able to put the pieces back together, as long as he lived. He had done this to you, his beautiful, bubbly, happy love. Reduced to this. To hating him. And he couldn’t even blame you.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice barely above a whisper. “I love you.”

“Stop saying that,” you cried.

“It’s true. It’s all I’ve got. I won’t try to make excuses, I’m just … I’m sorry. And I love you. I’ll never stop loving you.”

You sniffled, and took your hands away from your face, looking to the ceiling once again, like you were steeling yourself to say what you were about to. “I never want to see you again,” you said, weakly. “You can have the apartment. Elain and Nesta are packing my things right now.”

Azriel shook his head, his panic rising, “No, no, you don’t have to--”

“I do,” you cut him off. “It’s done, Az. We’re done,” you rose off the bed and went to the washroom, looking unsteady on your feet. “You can go now.”

You shut yourself in behind the closed door, and it was five hundred years of will and training that carried his legs out of the river house, and out of your life forever.

Azriel took to the sky, flying and flying, the wind biting at his skin, at his eyes. He kept picturing your heartbroken expression, the words you spoke to him.

He didn't stop flying until he made it to the depths of the Illyrian mountains, where he knew he would be well and truly alone.

Spotting a flat section nestled between several mountains, he landed in the snow, barely stopping long enough to punch the mountainside. It was stupid, he knew, he was more likely to break his hand than blow off any of this steam, but he had to do something to stop this pain, this panic, this despair that he could blame on nobody but himself.

He had lost you. He had lost the love of his life forever because he couldn't overcome his fears. He had been so scared that he wasn't good enough for you that he made sure that it was true.

Grunting, he punched the mountainside over and over again until his knuckles bled, and then he punched it some more. Tears froze on his cheeks, the wind chilling him to the bone.

Az was dimly aware of someone landing behind him, so hard it shook the ground beneath his feet. He kept punching.

“You're not going to solve your problems out here,” Cassian called to him.

Finally, Azriel halted, turning around to face his brother. “You know, we have better things to punch,” Cassian added.

Azriel scowled, sinking into the snow, exhausted.

Cassian strode over to him, plopping down a few feet away, hissing at the cold now sleeping through his pants. He studied Azriel, seemingly waiting for him to speak.

“She hates me,” Azriel whispered finally. “She said she never wants to see me again.”

Cassian sucked a breath in through his teeth. “Fuck.”

Azriel could only nod sadly.

“You know she didn't mean it. At least not the second part. She loves you.”

Sniffing, wiping at his eyes, Azriel groaned. “I don't know if she does anymore.”

“She does,” Cassian said quietly. “I know she does.”

After a beat of silence, Cassian asked, “What are you going to do?”

Azriel shrugged, watching his bloody hands start to heal. “Well. I could either hang around, keep apologizing, and piss her off more, or… leave her alone…”

“And piss her off more,” Cassian added.

A dry laugh escaped Azriel. “Exactly.”

Cassian was quiet for a moment, seemingly pondering how to help him.

“I’m not giving up on her,” Azriel finally said, with more conviction than he felt. “I just… I don't want to make it worse.”

“Az, I hate to tell you this, but I don't think it could get much worse,” Cassian said, grimacing.

Azriel just sighed, stretching out his wings behind him.

---

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time

Chasing shadows in the grocery line.

Seeing Azriel again, seeing him beg on his knees for your forgiveness, seeing how hollow his eyes looked, how his shadows were so unrelenting around him, had absolutely wrecked you.

It was another few days until you had the courage to leave the river house at all.

Azriel had come back to the river house several times, but you had your friends send him away. You couldn’t bear to see him again.

Feyre and Rhysand had checked on you frequently during your stay at their house, consoling you, cursing Azriel’s name right along with you. Rhys had even loaned you what you needed to get your own apartment, on the other side of Velaris from the one that you once shared with Azriel.

That part seemed to make it final, somehow. You could almost convince yourself it had all been a dream until you made your way to your new, empty apartment, without a trace of the love that used to be yours.

That empty apartment wrecked you all over again, and as you looked around it for the first time, your body folded in half, arms wrapping around your stomach as your body racked with sobs.

You had started to regret insisting that you do this part by yourself.

It was really over. Azriel really cheated on you and it was really done.

You knew it was time to start distancing yourself from Azriel’s family. They had undoubtedly been on your side this whole time, but even Rhysand and Feyre were starting to change their tune slightly. You know he loves you still. You know he’s a good male. You know he’s so sorry.

You understood where they were coming from, really, you did.

But that didn’t make it hurt less. What you needed was to hate him. It was the only way you could ever bring yourself to move on, to start living your life again.

You had been solemnly unpacking for a few hours when there was a knock on your door. You stiffened immediately. Rhysand and Feyre had said that they wouldn’t tell Azriel where you lived, but maybe he had figured it out?

“Relax sweetheart, it’s me,” Cassian said on the other side of the door, and you did relax, if only slightly. You hadn’t seen him since before this all started.

Reluctantly you let him in. He was sauntering, wearing that easy smirk he always donned. You couldn’t decide if it was comforting or annoying.

Cassian whistled as he looked around. “Nice place.”

You settled on the couch, tucking your feet underneath you. “What are you doing here?”

His eyes softened as he walked closer to you, then perched next to you on the couch, not quite relaxed. “I wanted to check on you.”

“You can report back to Azriel that I’m just as pissed as ever,” you grumbled.

“He doesn’t know I’m here,” Cassian said quietly.

Skeptically, you turned to face him. You were sure he would be the most likely to take Azriel’s side.

After a moment, Cassian said, “If it’s any consolation, he hates himself probably about as much as you hate him right now.”

“I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse,” you admitted.

Cassian sighed, leaning back into the couch. “Did you mean it? That you never wanted to see him again?”

You shifted, hugging your knees to your chest. “In the moment I did. Thinking about seeing him now… it breaks me apart. But, thinking about the rest of my life completely without him…”

“That breaks you apart too?” Cassian offered.

You nodded, tears stinging your eyes.

“Okay, look,” Cassian said, turning so he fully faced you. “I’m going to tell you something. You’re my friend and he’s my brother, and I love you both, so I need you to know I’m not trying to convince you of anything, I am merely giving you information. Okay?”

“O-kay…”

He took a deep breath, seemingly gathering his thoughts, before he continued. “Azriel has always felt like he was inferior. The way he was raised… he carries that around more than a lot of people think. He often thinks that he isn’t good enough for people, but especially you.”

“How do you know?” You knew that Az still dealt with a lot from his childhood, but he wouldn’t often voice those things to you. He had mentioned something about not feeling good enough when you saw him, but you weren’t sure what to make of it.

“He mentioned it to me a few times, that he didn’t feel like he was the kind of person you should be with. You’re so bright and bubbly, he felt like you deserved somebody who was the same.”

You rested your cheek on your knee, trying to digest the information. “But… he must have known I never actually felt like that, right?”

Cassian shrugged. “On a good day, maybe. But deep down I think he always had it in the back of his mind: that fear that he wasn’t right for you.”

“He should’ve told me,” you said quietly.

“I agree. And I’m not saying that it excuses what he did, but that day…it was a hard one for him. What he had to do in the Court of Nightmares.”

Your stomach dropped. You hadn’t even thought about that.

“Well, he should’ve told me that too.”

Cassian nodded. “Yes. He should have.”

You groaned. “I hate this.”

“I know,” he said quietly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. “I’m sorry.”

Cassian let you cry on his chest for a long moment before he said, “hH wants to come see you, you know. He doesn't want to give up on you.”

When you didn't respond, he said softly, “Just think about it.”

Days later, all that Cassian had said was still ringing in your ears, even as you walked through the market when it was the busiest.

Despite everything, it hurt your heart to think that Azriel had ever felt like he wasn't enough for you. And you were still so hurt at what he had done and what you had seen, but it at least made more sense now.

You hated this feeling of loneliness that followed you around wherever you went now, rooted so deeply in you that you were scared it would never go away.

Azriel had been so good to you for so long. Was one mistake really worth throwing everything away?

Every time you had the thought though, you remembered the sight of him in her bed and wanted to scream or cry or kick something.

Suddenly, as you were nearing the edge of the market, you swore you saw the wisp of a curling shadow out of the corner of your eye and stiffened. This hadn't been the first time that you thought you glimpsed Azriel's shadows or wings in public since it happened.

But, no this time it was real. And he saw you too.

You willed your feet to move, but they wouldn't. You couldn't tear your eyes away from him, from this man who had loved and hurt you so completely.

Azriel approached you like you were an injured animal he was trying not to scare away. Your heart thundered in your chest.

“Hi,” he said in what you knew was his gentlest voice.

You couldn't bring yourself to speak. Still, after everything, you missed him. And seeing him now… it was too much to bear. Yet, too much to walk away.

“I'm sorry,” he said softly, his eyes swimming with pain and affection. His shadows were on full display, despite the fact that they usually shied away from the sun.

“You've already said that,” you murmured, still rooted to the spot.

“I know. And I'll keep saying it every chance I get. If I knew where you lived, I'd send you flowers or a book or dinner from that restaurant you love every day and I'd tell you I'm sorry and that I love you.” His voice was shaky in a way you had never heard from the shadowsinger.

“You would not,” you said, trying to sound angry but it just came out weak.

“Of course I would,” he said, risking a step closer to you. “I would do anything to take your pain away. You have to believe that.”

You did. You did believe that he meant it. But you didn't know if it would be enough.

For a moment you let yourself gaze at the man you once trusted with your whole heart. He looked thinner, like he hadn't been eating enough. His eyes were still hollow, dark bags beneath them. Even his wings drooped slightly. He might look even worse than you did.

And yet, you could still see the beautiful, sweet shadowsinger you had fallen in love with so long ago.

Finally you said quietly, “I'll tell Rhys he can give you my address.”

Those hazel eyes sparked with hope. And love. Definitely love.

---

The only thing I wanna do

Is make it up to you.

When you went out the next morning, there was a book left at your doorstep with a note attached.

It was the newest from one of your favorite authors. Your lips formed the tiniest smile.

The note read:

I couldn't start my groveling with something too cliche, so I went straight for your romance novels.

I've never told you this, but I always love when you tell me about the books you’re reading. Your entire face lights up when you do. And you know I love a fairytale ending.

I hope you have a good day today.

I'm so sorry for what I did. I'm so sorry for hurting you.

I love you so much. I always will.

-Az

You couldn't help but laugh a little by the time you got to the end. As if anybody else would be writing you this note.

The next morning when you stepped out your door, there was a pastry from your favorite cafe in a to-go bag. On the bag was a note:

I'm really hoping you'll find this in the morning so it's still good.

If not, you just come let me know and I'll drop everything to get you a fresh one.

I miss you.

My life is a nightmare without you.

I'm so sorry.

I love you.

-Az

And so it went. Every morning, rain or shine, Azriel would leave something that he knew you would love, with a note, always ending in some version of I'm sorry. I love you.

It did warm your heart that had turned so cold. The dedication alone was enough to prove to you that he really was sorry for what he did.

Yet, every time a note would make you laugh or cry so much that you wanted to run to his arms, you were always stopped by that image that plagued your mind. By the fact that he did what he did and no amount of little gifts would change it.

Months passed, and to Azriel's credit, the gifts, and more importantly the notes, kept coming. Your bedside drawer was completely full of them. And there may have been a night or two when you missed him so desperately that you would read them over and over again until your eyes burned and you had no choice but to cry yourself to sleep.

You would sometimes lay awake at night, picturing him coming up to your door. Several times you wanted to wait up for him, to listen for his footsteps, to pull him into your apartment, forget everything that happened and just be happy again.

But you never had the nerve. You were terrified of going through it all again.

Until one day, there was no gift at your door. No note. No sign of him anywhere.

Your heart plummeted. Had something happened to him? Was he hurt? Injured on some mission Rhysand sent him on?

Or had he finally given up on you?

It wasn't until that moment that you were willing to admit to yourself how much you had been relying on those notes, those little pieces of him.

You went through your day in a daze, devastated all over again.

It was early in the evening when there was a knock on your door. For a moment, you hoped it would be Azriel. You hadn't actually seen him for months. But you quickly realized it was more likely to be one of your friends, who still came by, despite what you had initially thought.

So, the breath was knocked completely out of you when it was indeed the shadowsinger waiting on the other side of the door.

His handsome face, his soft expression, on his face made you want to weep. You missed him so much.

Azriel smiled somewhat shyly as he gazed down at you, holding a paper bag in his hand. “I'm sorry it's late. Rhys has got me scouting out some things, and I didn't get back here until now. I brought dinner,” he said, holding it out to you.

You recognized it from your favorite restaurant. With shaking hands, you took it from him, spotting the note attached to the outside.

I'm sorry. I love you.

Over and over again it was repeated, taking up the entire paper. You placed it on a table inside before your gaze flicked back to him. He was watching you closely, his wings tucked in tightly behind him.

“I thought you gave up on me,” you whispered.

His timid smile fell. “Never,” he said softly. “I'll never give up on you. I love you so much.”

Tears brimmed your eyes and all of a sudden, you knew you couldn't take it anymore. You didn't want to hate him, you didn't want to dwell on the one awful thing that he had done. You had a drawer full of wonderful things that he had done.

“I love you, too,” you murmured, the tears spilling freely down your cheeks now.

A sound that sounded distinctly like a sob escaped Azriel, and he wrapped his arms around you, crushing you into his chest. “I never thought I'd hear you say that again,” he sniffed, his hand cupping the back of your head, kissing your temple.

After a long moment, he took your face in his hands, gazing at you for a moment before he slowly kissed your tears away. You laughed lightly and he smiled, leaning in to kiss you so softly, like he was afraid you would break.

“I love you,” he murmured against your mouth. “I love you so much.”

You pulled back long enough to gently brush his tears away. “No more secrets. If you're struggling with something, you need to tell me.”

“I know. I'm sorry. No more secrets.”

“And nobody else. Ever.”

He winced. “I'm so sorry, love.”

“I know you are,” you said softly, cupping his cheek in your hand.

“Thank you,” he murmured. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

You rose to your tiptoes to kiss him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

At last, you had found your way back home.

A/N: Want to see Azriel pay for his crimes instead? Go read the alternate angsty ending here!

#acotar fic #acotar one shot #acotar x reader #azriel x reader #acotar #azriel one shot #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel x you #azriel angst #acotar angst #acotar fanfic #angst #angst with a happy ending #request #azriel fanfic #acotar azriel

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jihyoruri · 26 days

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❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 CARDIGAN, AUGUST AND BETTY kim minji x reader x kazuha nakamura

🪩★ ͘ ⴰ yn’s always been a hopeless romantic, her wish is to have the best love story and have the love of her life by her side in the end, but you can’t do that without a little bumps in the road right?

💿 TAPE 01 — AUGUST “ august slipped away into a moment of time cause it was never mine.”

the ocean breeze coming from the window takes over yn’s room along with the soft music coming from her phone as the girl sits on her bed with her face in a book.

it’s calming, it’s the exact break she needed, from all the craziness of idol life, she’s happy minji invited her to this beach house for the second half of the summer, august was always sort of depressing, so maybe the beach house would make it fun.

speaking of minji, yn hasn’t seen her since this morning, but that’s probably her fault, the girl had locked herself in the room that she’s staying in, she was determined to finish the book that she was reading, it was romance obviously.

romance is everything to yn, being in love seems like the best thing that can ever happen to you in yn’s mind, yn’s older sister would probably tell her to get her head out of the clouds but she just can’t help it, having someone’s heart in the palm of your hands and them having yours seems so intimate and vulnerable that it’s beautiful.

the book that yn is reading is about summer love, summer love is probably yn’s favourite trope, she’d love to have a summer love, to swim in the ocean with them and play in the sand.

“yn?” a voice snaps her out of her love filled thoughts, she looks up to see minji peaking her head in between the cracks of her door, “yeah?”

minji opened the door wider and stood fully in the door way, she had a oversized sweater that seemed to be over her swimsuit, “wanna go the beach? you can bring your book.”

yn looks at the girl at her door and can’t help but stare, minji has always been pretty no doubt, but this summer yn felt something different, butterflies would fill her stomach every time the leader would look at her or her hands would feel shaky when minji would talk to her, it’s been getting weird lately if she’s being honest, “sure just let me put on my suit.”

after getting ready yn made her way downstairs where minji was sitting on the couch waiting for her, as if it was on cue the girl looked up from her phone and smiled at yn, “ready?”

“yep.”

as the day unfolded, it felt like something out of a dream. the sky was a perfect blue, with wisps of clouds lazily drifting by. yn and minji spent hours on the beach, their laughter mingling with the sound of waves crashing against the shore.

they built sandcastles, their fingers intertwined as they molded the wet sand, and raced each other into the ocean, the cool water a refreshing escape from the heat of the sun. later, they sprawled on their beach towels, with yn absorbed in her book while minji dozed off beside her, a soft smile playing on her lips.

yn felt a sense of peace, as if all the chaos of the world had faded away, leaving just the two of them in their little bubble of happiness. it was a contentment she hadn't experienced in a long time, being an idol could be so stressful sometimes.

as the sun began to dip below the horizon, casting a warm orange glow over the beach, they reluctantly packed up their things and made their way back to the cozy beach house they had rented for the summer. the evening air was cool against their sun-kissed skin, and yn couldn't help but smile as minji playfully bumped her shoulder.

"today was perfect," minji said, her voice soft but full of warmth. "i don't want it to end."

yn glanced at her, feeling a tug at her heart. "me neither," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

later that night, after they had showered and changed into comfortable clothes, they settled on the couch to watch a movie. the room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the tv screen. as the movie played, minji nestled closer to yn, resting her head on yn's shoulder. yn's heart raced as she felt minji's breath against her neck, a comforting presence that she had grown to cherish.

without thinking, minji leaned in and kissed yn, her lips soft and warm against yn's. yn's eyes fluttered shut as she returned the kiss, her heart pounding in her chest. the world outside seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them in that moment. minji's hand found its way to yn's cheek, caressing it gently as the kiss deepened.

when they finally pulled away, both of them were breathless. minji's eyes sparkled with something yn couldn't quite place, but it made her feel like she was floating. "i've wanted to do that for a while," minji admitted, her voice trembling slightly.

yn smiled, her cheeks flushed. "me too," she confessed.

the rest of august passed in a blur of stolen glances, secret touches, and passionate kisses. they spent their days exploring the small coastal town, holding hands when no one was looking, and sharing whispered conversations under the stars. at night, they would cuddle on the couch, the lines between friendship and something more becoming increasingly blurred.

it was yn’s dream, having summer love was all she could’ve hoped for, she had dreams about it, her older sister would call her delusional but this was it, it really was the dream.

but as the days slipped by, yn couldn't shake the feeling that this was all too good to last. they were more than friends, but less than a couple. it was a summer fling, a beautiful, fleeting moment in time that yn desperately wanted to hold onto.

one evening, as they were getting ready to head out for a late-night walk on the beach, minji excused herself to use the bathroom. yn sat on the edge of the bed, waiting patiently, when minji's phone, left on the nightstand, buzzed with a new message. the screen lit up, and yn's eyes were drawn to the notification.

it was a text from kazuha, a fellow idol from lesserafim. curiosity got the best of yn, and she couldn't help but glance at the message.

"hey, minji. i miss you. I can’t wait to see you." kazuha's message read, accompanied by a heart emoji.

yn felt a pang of jealousy pierce her chest. she quickly looked away, guilt washing over her for snooping, but the damage was done. in that moment, reality hit her like a wave crashing against the shore. she realized that she might just be a summer fling, a temporary distraction for minji.

when minji returned, she found yn sitting quietly on the edge of the bed, her expression unreadable. "you okay?" minji asked, concern lacing her voice as she walked over and sat beside yn.

yn forced a smile, though it didn't reach her eyes. "yeah, i'm fine," she lied, trying to sound convincing. but her heart ached, and she knew that minji could sense something was off.

yn was never the best at hiding her emotions, she was an emotional person, her older sister would tell her, that she needs to learn how to hide them.

minji frowned, studying yn's face. "are you sure? you seem… distant."

yn wanted to spill everything, to ask minji what they really were, to understand where she stood in minji's life. but instead, she swallowed her emotions and shook her head. "it's nothing," she whispered, her voice wavering slightly. "just tired, i guess."

minji didn't seem convinced, but she didn't press further. she wrapped her arm around yn, pulling her close, and yn let herself melt into the embrace. but as they sat there, the weight in yn's chest grew heavier. she knew, deep down, that their summer fling was coming to an end, and the thought terrified her.

of course her summer love wouldn’t actually be hers.

#new jeans #new jeans x reader #kim minji #kim minji x reader #lesserafim #lesserafim x reader #kazuha nakamura x reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha lesserafim #minji new jeans #girl group imagines #nwjns!yn

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norrizzandpia · 9 months

Text

What We Could’ve Been and What We Are Now: The Masterlist (LN4 x Reader)

Summary: Jon’s daughter and childhood best friends, Y/n and Lando share a special type of love. A love that has always made them prioritize each other, show up no matter what when the other needed them. A love that turned romantic so incredibly, strikingly fast. When their friendship finally addresses that shared feeling and labels are thrown around, their connection takes a turn. Arguments, trust issues, and petty insults make up their young love and it’s not what either of them expected. A turning point, a stupid mistake, brings out an inevitable end and the two are left to stand in the midst of a destroyed relationship, a friendship that is no longer salvageable. However, young people make stupid mistakes that they later grow from and what happens when years later numbers are unblocked, words are shared again, and the love they shared burns once more? Warnings, an author’s note, chapter links and summaries, and a playlist below the cut!

Warnings: language, smut in later chapters (that will be specified on specific chapters), cheating

Note: please don’t be turned away by the cheating warning 🙏🏻 trust me when i tell you it all works out in the end in a way that does not have Y/n looking like she has no self worth

Chapter Links:

The Youngest Love (Chapter One)

A backstory to the beginning of a love story.

A Beautiful Start (Chapter Two)

Ever since their first official date, Y/n and Lando fall into the honeymoon phase.

Why Can’t You See It My Way?! (Chapter Three)

Arguments and bickering turn what once was into something messy and painful.

A Stupid Mistake (Chapter Four)

In the wake of their fight, Lando wakes up to someone who is not his Y/n.

If You Don’t Tell Her, I Will (Chapter Five)

Something that started out with the purest of intentions ends with the most dirty confession.

Please, I’m Sorry (Chapter Six)

Lando tries and tries to contact Y/n after their fallout. However, with a blocked contact and an angry Jon, he can only do so much.

Reconciling (Chapter Seven)

When he can’t reach Y/n, Lando goes to apologize to his second father.

Years Later (Chapter Eight)

His first race win is not the only reason why Lando is having the best day of his life.

Stay Up With Me? (Chapter Nine)

Picking up where they left off has never seemed so easy yet Y/n can’t get rid of the nagging fear of what could be repeated.

Listen To Me (Chapter Ten)

At the risk of another fallout, Lando works to stop from losing what he so foolishly lost before.

The Playlist:

1. The Grudge by Olivia Rodrigo

2. Logical by Olivia Rodrigo

3. Making the Bed by Olivia Rodrigo

4. Lacy by Olivia Rodrigo

5. Take It All by Adele

6. Tolerate It by Taylor Swift

7. Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift

8. Hurt Me Once by Ben Platt

9. Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift

10. Keep That To Yourself (voice memo) by Tristan

11. I Miss You, I’m Sorry by Gracie Abrams

12. Ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine

13. Movies by Conan Gray

14. Cardigan by Taylor Swift

15. Your Needs, My Needs by Noah Kahan

16. Betty by Taylor Swift

17. TV by Billie Ellish

18. Footnote by Conan Gray

19. Fine Line by Harry Styles

20. August by Taylor Swift

21. The 1 by Taylor Swift

22. Special by SZA

23. Marjorie by Taylor Swift

24. Decode by Sabrina Carpenter

25. Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift

26. Strawberry Wine by Noah Kahan

27. All My Love by Noah Kahan

28. Talk by Hozier

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supernovafics · 1 year

Text

𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐍

pairing: professor!steve harrington x professor!fem!reader

word count: 6.8k words

summary: in which it had been twelve years since you last saw steve harrington. and you never thought about him, mainly because you’d forced yourself not to. but, suddenly, it was hard to avoid thoughts or reminders of him when after all of those years, you finally saw him again. it was an abrupt moment that oh so quickly brought back memories and old feelings that managed to do a number of things; confuse, scare, and worry you. after everything that happened between you two, you fully believed that you would never want to talk to him again. but maybe that was the exact thing that needed to happen.

warnings: explicit language, mentions of cheating, a bit of fluff, implied smut, a shit ton of angst but with a happy ending

author’s note: this took forever and it's insanely long but i love the way it turned out<33 the rest of the trilogy will be out next, so "august" and then "betty" coming (very) soon!! (full "folklore" album series masterlist here!)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Fall Semester 1996

You rarely ever thought about your life pre-Rhode Island. Mainly because you never wanted to, but also because it felt so far in the past that there was never any reason to focus on what used to be.

You segmented your life into two phases. One, before you left your hometown, and, two, the moment you drove past the “Leaving Hawkins” sign and never looked back, refraining to listen to the part of the sign that told you to “Come Again Soon.”

It had been nearly twelve years since you left the small Indiana town, and there wasn’t one moment where you ran into anyone that you once knew from that “before” life, which, in turn, meant that you never had any reason to think about Hawkins.

Until you did run into someone. And it was probably the worst possible person you could’ve ever run into.

Steve fucking Harrington.

You would’ve rather seen Simon Gardener— your crush from sixth grade who you’d thrown up in front of when the two of you got paired up on a Science project— than Steve.

But, now here he was, standing barely twenty feet away from you. You’d nearly dropped the coffee you’d waited almost twenty minutes for from your favorite coffee shop. Instead, you spilled some on your hand and only inwardly winced at the feeling because you didn’t want to draw attention to yourself.

You almost turned around and walked out of the building you just walked into, but your office was right down the hallway that Steve was currently standing in the middle of along with the head of the English Department, Dan. And now that there was spilled coffee on your hand you really needed to go in there and rummage through the drawer of your desk that contained a bunch of leftover napkins from random nights when you’d order takeout to your office.

Before you could contemplate further about what your next course of action should be, Dan spotted you and called your name, waving you over to where he and Steve were standing.

“Hi, good morning,” You greeted him, expertly avoiding eye contact with Steve because you didn’t want to see his reaction to seeing you for the first time in what pretty much felt like forever.

“Let me introduce you to the new addition to the History department upstairs,” Dan said and then gestured to Steve, which forced you to finally look at him. “Steve Harrington.”

You could tell he was surprised to see you, but he hid that surprise by smiling at you, and you hated that even after all of these years, his smile still managed to do something to you.

Now that you were closer to him, you could see some minor differences about him. His hair was a bit shorter, nothing too crazy or dramatic, but you noticed how his “iconic” hair was a bit more tame compared to how it used to be. And somehow he managed to get a little taller, only a couple of inches, but still you noticed that too.

He overall looked older, which obviously made sense because twelve years would do that to a person. However, there was still something all too familiar about him. That same boyish presence that you had gotten so used to seeing still lingered on him. Behind his eyes, you saw exactly that boy you fell in love with that one summer.

The summer that you never really thought about; in fact, you’d forced yourself not to think about it. But, now with him right in front of you, random flashbacks to moments from that July and August, especially August, were the only things circling your mind.

Your loud laughs and wide smiles as you swam in his pool and let your body wrap around his underneath the water, your drunken talks until the sun came up, the makeout sessions in his car that almost always led to doing other things in his bed since his parents were never home.

You pushed those memories far away, just as quickly as they resurfaced.

“Hi,” You said to him and forced a small smile.

You could tell that he was studying you just as you had been studying him, taking note of what you looked like now and comparing that to the version of you that he used to know. Whatever differences you had, you felt like they were subtle like his were, and just came with the territory of aging twelve years, but maybe he saw something else. He was the only person who you felt was able to actually look inside of you; he had known the ins and outs of who you were.

“She’s a Professor in the English department,” Dan told Steve, and you were insanely grateful for Dan’s presence at that moment because you knew that it would be hell if you had been alone with Steve right then. “Oh, what happened to your hand?”

You looked down at your hand, somehow you had actually forgotten about the spill that happened only moments ago.

“Little coffee mishap,” You said with a small, awkward laugh. “I have some napkins in my office, though, so I’m just going to head in there.” You looked at Steve and directed another forced smile at him, you had a feeling you’d be doing that a lot now. “Nice to meet you.”

You mentioned something to Dan about seeing him at a faculty meeting later and then headed to your office, which was only about ten feet away.

When it was just you alone behind the shut door of your office, your brain could finally process everything that had just happened.

Steve was here. Not Hawkins, not Indiana, Rhode Island. And not only was he simply in Rhode Island, but he now worked at the college you had been working at for the past two and a half years.

The only word you could think of at that moment was “Fuck,” and then you couldn’t help but mutter it under your breath. You took a sip of your coffee and let the familiar sweet and slightly bitter taste soothe your nerves.

Barely thirty minutes later— after trying your hardest to finish up the planning for a lecture you had been working on for the past few days but failing miserably because your mind couldn’t help but wonder why Steve was here of all places— you were stepping out of your office and almost crashed right into him.

“Jesus Christ,” You yelped; once again so surprised to see him.

“I swear I was about to knock and this is just freakishly weird timing,” He quickly told you. “I wasn’t being a creep and waiting for you to come out.”

“Okay,” You said with a small nod. Somehow his nervousness at that moment made you feel less nervous. “Um, what’s up?”

“Can we talk, maybe?”

“I have a class in fifteen minutes, so I can’t now,” You told him as you glanced down at the watch on your wrist. “But, um, maybe soon, yeah?”

You were completely lying, there was no way you were going to talk to him soon; at least not about what you assumed he wanted to talk about. You refused to do that.

Luckily Steve couldn’t see through your lie, or if he did, he didn’t call you out on it. Instead, he nodded at your words before you walked away.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“'cause i knew you. steppin' on the last train marked me like a bloodstain. i knew you. tried to change the ending peter losing wendy.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Somehow, and much to your grateful surprise, you rarely ever saw Steve. And when you did, because he was only just upstairs so it was sort of inevitable, there were only quick passing glances shared between you two along with tight-lipped smiles and small waves; both of you too busy to have any kind of actual conversation with one another.

However, you did manage to learn a few things about him over the past month he’d been there. You heard through the grapevine— said grapevine being various faculty members that seemed to grow a quick liking to Steve— that he was taking over Tamara Wilson’s two Early European History classes for the rest of the Fall semester because she went on maternity leave, and in the Spring he’d be teaching it again along with a U.S. history course.

None of that information answered the one question constantly running through your mind, though.

What the hell was he doing here?

Because you had to admit, you were so curious to know about all of it. How he was here, why he was here, how this coincidence could’ve happened.

But, you also really didn’t want to talk to him because you had the strongest feeling that the conversation would also involve the past, that summer, and how much you didn’t want that to happen outweighed your curiosity.

Therefore, on the night of the college’s annual Winter Gala, the first instance that could actually allow you two to talk to one another, you still tried your hardest to avoid him.

You had always hated these kinds of events because they were solely used to schmooze alumni and other donors to get them to give the school money, and even though you understood the need for that, you still didn’t enjoy attending. However, you knew that you always had to show face, at least for an hour or two.

And you made it nearly an hour and a half without having to see Steve and you were almost certain that you actually wouldn’t see him. But, moments before you were about to make your final rounds and say goodbye to people, mainly Dan so you could prove to him that you’d shown up, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

It was almost too easy to know that it was Steve because it was only his touch that ever managed to send something equivalent to an electric shock through your body. And with the strapless black dress you were wearing, his hand making contact with your bare shoulder immediately made surprised goosebumps rise to your skin.

“Hi,” He said, offering a small smile. Somehow the first thing you noticed about him was the bow tie he was wearing. He was also wearing a black suit with a white button-up shirt, but the bow tie caught your eye first. You were immediately reminded of a memory of him saying how much he hated bow ties, but you had told him how great he looked in one. In this moment, you hated how right you still were.

“Hey,” You responded with a smile of your own, and you sincerely hoped he couldn’t see your nervousness through it. He opened his mouth to say something but you jumped in before he could. “How’s your first month here been so far?”

“Good,” Steve answered with a nod. “A little weird just jumping in at the middle of the semester and trying to go along with what Wilson already set on the syllabus. A weekly quiz was on there, and I immediately told the students that we wouldn’t be doing that anymore.”

“They probably love you for that.”

“Yeah, I got a round of applause on my first day.”

You couldn’t help but smile at that, you were only fifty percent sure that he was joking, but either way, the thought amused you.

You wanted to ask when he got into history and into teaching, but maybe that question would open a can of worms that would lead to other topics of conversation you wanted to stay away from.

“I can guarantee that at least half of them will want to be in your class next semester,” You said instead of asking what you really wanted. “You’re gonna be doing U.S. History, right?”

“Yeah, and I’ll still be taking over for Wilson, so I’ll have three courses next semester, which should be interesting,” Steve nodded, and then a look crossed his face as if he just remembered something. “But, that probably sounds like nothing to you because I heard that you’re currently doing four American Lit courses and one British Lit course. Oh, and you’re the only person in the English department teaching that many courses, which sounds insane but that’s also pretty cool.”

You pretended as if now knowing that he had asked about you didn’t affect you at least a tiny bit. And you also pretended that hearing the admiration in his voice didn’t affect you at all either.

“Yeah, I’ve only been teaching here for a little over two years, so I still get stuck with most of the basic courses. Which isn’t horrible, but it’s pretty boring and easy, so I always do a lot,” You told him with a small shrug. All of the work that had been on your plate for the past few years sounded like a lot— maybe even too much— but in your mind, it actually wasn’t as crazy as it seemed. Because you liked drowning yourself in your job, it made you feel useful, and you’d spent so much time before and right after you left Hawkins feeling the exact opposite that you’d do almost anything to make sure you never felt that way again. “But, next semester I’m doing an advanced Creative Writing course for the first time, in addition to only two American Lit courses, so I’m pretty excited about that.”

Steve smiled at you. “That’s nice.”

This small talk felt okay to you, it was bearable. It was also mundane and a little trivial, but you’d rather that than talk about the past. Apparently, Steve had other plans, though.

“I had no idea you moved here.”

You pulled your eyes away from his and focused on your half-empty flute of champagne that you’d gotten when you arrived at the event and was probably disgustingly warm by now. You contemplated for a few moments whether or not you should avoid Steve’s question or allow the conversation to go in the direction that it was inevitably meant to go in. Maybe it was stupid to think that you’d be able to pretend as if your past, which Steve was quite involved in, never existed.

“Yeah… I went to college in Massachusetts and then I went to grad school here in Rhode Island but in a different part of the state, a little more north. And I always just stayed here, always finding a reason to stay around, some small internship or job, and then I ended up at this college because a friend who was already working here recommended me. I had never done any teaching before, but I actually like it.”

You didn’t tell him that the main reason why you always found a reason— more so desperately searched for reasons— to stay in Rhode Island was so that you never had to go back to Hawkins. But, maybe that was obvious, at least to him, because he was a huge factor as to why you knew that you needed to leave that town and never look back.

You silently wondered if he had been gone from Hawkins for a long time too, and then you realized that with the turn the conversation had taken, you could actually ask that question.

“When did you leave Hawkins?”

“Almost ten years ago now,” Steve said, and you had to admit, you were kind of surprised by that answer. To you, he always seemed like the type of person that would want to stay in the small town. “Decided it was time for a scenery change and my parents, especially my dad, were more than happy to send me anywhere.” He let out a dry and slightly sad chuckle, and you were all too quickly reminded of why you had always despised his parents. “He pulled some strings at this small college in Ohio, so I went there and actually liked it a lot, and I haven’t been back to Hawkins since.”

You two were sitting at an empty table now, somehow silently agreeing to migrate to that spot as you continued your conversation. You placed the glass in your hand on the white tablecloth and turned to look at Steve.

“When did you get into history?”

“My first semester I had this professor for a World History class and he was really great; Richard James. It was probably the first class ever that I actually cared about what was going on because of how he was teaching everything and I became pretty interested in history. I took a couple more history classes with him and some other professors too, and still really liked it so I changed my major to it. And after I graduated I started TA-ing for some of the advanced classes he was teaching.”

There was a smile on your face that you wanted to get rid of but couldn’t because it was just so nice to hear how happy Steve was as he talked about the past almost ten years of his life. You hated to admit it, and you’d probably never do so out loud, but there was still a part of you that cared about him so much, and you were glad that he was happy.

“And then I ended up here because last month Richard was supposed to do a talk here, but he got sick last second and asked me to fill in for him. And for some reason, the head of the History department really liked me and offered me a job.”

You had never been the biggest fan of history so it wasn’t that surprising that you had missed the first time that Steve had been here, but your mind couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if your paths had accidentally crossed then.

“I want you to know, though, that if I would’ve known that you also worked here, I wouldn’t have taken the job,” Steve told you, somehow pretty much reading your mind and answering your unasked question. “Because I know you left Hawkins because of me. Because you never wanted to see me again, which I completely understand.”

His words right then surprised you and you had no idea what to say in response to that; your thoughts started running a million miles a second and you could only look down at your hands in your lap. But then you didn’t have to say anything because Steve kept talking.

“I’m still really sorry about everything that happened.”

You were so close to telling him to stop talking about it. You were fully ready to make up some lie about how the past was in the past, and how you were over everything that happened twelve years ago.

But, right then you actually didn’t want to lie and pretend that none of it mattered. You didn’t want to avoid the past like a plague, as you’d been doing for the past decade, and like you especially had been doing for the past month since Steve showed up in Rhode Island.

However, it couldn’t happen here. In the school’s basketball court that had been transformed for the evening into a ballroom-type of elegant space. No one was paying attention to either of you, but the potential for someone to come up at any moment while you were finally having this conversation with Steve worried you.

You finally let your eyes meet his again. “Can we talk about this outside?”

Steve nodded as you stood up and he followed you out the nearest door.

It was dark outside, the time now nearing on ten o’clock, but the many lamp posts brightened up the emptiness of the quad. You found a bench and sat down, the cool metal against your back calmed your nerves a bit.

You were suddenly reminded of the last time you and Steve talked to each other before you left Hawkins, which was about a month into Senior year at a random party at Rachel McKenna’s house. It was barely even a conversation because you refused to listen to him and his slew of apologies back then. And then you also refused to talk to him for the entirety of the school year.

You were still unsure if you had any regrets about that.

“I really don’t even know where to start,” You said now with a small sigh. “I always forced myself to never think about us; about that summer and the aftermath of it too. For the longest time I pretended as if none of it really mattered. Because I knew that we no longer mattered to each other.”

“You always mattered to me,” Steve told you and it was almost too easy to hear the honesty in his tone.

Still, you were quick to shake your head at him. “Stop, you can’t say stuff like that.”

“But, it’s the truth.”

You bypassed that softly spoken statement because even though you could hear that he was being honest, you didn’t want to acknowledge it right then. So, instead, you focused on something else that he previously said.

“You’re right. You were the main reason that I left Hawkins, not the only reason but definitely one of the big ones. But, it’s also funny because you were one of the reasons why I almost wanted to stay.” Your next words sat right on the tip of your tongue, but they were almost too hard to get out. You cleared your throat and took a quick breath before speaking. “Because I loved you, I literally loved you. So much. But, I knew that I couldn’t, or that I shouldn’t, because nothing could actually happen between us. That summer we were living in a dumb fairytale that could never become a reality. And it was so fucking stupid of me to ever think that we could actually be something real.”

“I wanted us to be something real,” Steve said and you had to bite back the scoff you wanted to let out in response.

“Yeah, weeks after you told me that what we were doing would have to be over because it was the end of summer and Nancy was coming back to town,” You said, trying hard not to let yourself get thrust back into that memory because the exact words he had said to you that day were still etched in your mind. “But, when we abruptly ended, it finally put everything into perspective for me. I felt like such a shitty person because of what we did and how it was a fucked up thing to do. And then immediately having to pretend as if none of it ever happened made it all feel so much worse. I hated you, but I hated myself so much more for everything that happened. That’s why I never wanted to see you or talk to you again, especially at that stupid party.”

You hadn’t realized you were crying until a soft look took over Steve’s face and you suddenly felt the wetness on your cheeks. You haphazardly wiped them away and averted your eyes from his, feeling immensely embarrassed because you hated that talking about all of that, things from years and years ago, still made you cry like you were that seventeen-year-old girl all over again.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry you felt that way,” Steve told you. “But, it was all so much more my fault than it was yours. I was the one that cheated on her.”

“But, I knew. I knew about Nancy, and I knew that what we were doing was wrong.” But, I still did it because I wanted you so bad, and I loved that you wanted me too. You didn’t say that part because you hated the way it would make you sound.

“Still, it will always be more my fault. I was such an asshole back then. All of that ‘King Steve’ stuff really got to my head and I did a lot of shitty things,” He said, and you could tell that he wasn’t proud of that part of his past and he really did feel bad about it. “But, I don’t regret you, or us, or that summer, though. And maybe that still makes me somewhat of an asshole, but that’s okay because it’s true. I don’t regret you. Not at all.”

Somehow hearing him say those words made you realize that you didn’t regret any of it either, which was a thought that actually made you want to cry harder. Because even though you should’ve regretted everything because of every single thing that happened after— the hurt and shame you felt so strongly for months after— you knew that you’d let yourself do it all over again.

You’d still stupidly talk to him for the first time ever outside “Ralph’s Sandwich Shop” after he mocked you on the fact that you liked to put potato chips inside your sandwich and then praised you once he tried it and realized how good it was. And you’d definitely still let him kiss you for the first while swimming in his pool in the middle of the night after whispering to him, “Are you sure?” and his answer being a small nod and his lips pressing against yours that led to the chain of events that brought you both to where you were now.

You wholeheartedly knew that you’d do it all over again. And because of that, it made you say your next statement.

“I don’t want to be angry and upset with you anymore, or pretend you don't exist. I want us to be okay with each other.”

“I want that too. I want us to be friends,” Steve said, and although being friends was a lot different from simply being okay with one another, it actually didn’t sound like too crazy of an idea to you.

You nodded at him. “Okay. Yeah, me too.”

You held out your hand for Steve to take, which he did, and the two of you shook hands to seal this “deal.”

Your gaze broke from his and you glanced down a bit. “Nice bow tie, by the way.”

“I remember someone told me that I looked good in them and I believed her.”

“She’s still right.”

“Good to know.”

You both smiled at each other and then laughed, and it may have taken twelve years, but it finally felt like the past was really in the past.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“but i knew you. dancin' in your levi's, drunk under a streetlight. i knew you. hand under my sweatshirt, baby, kiss it better.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Spring Semester 1997

It was during the most random of moments that you were startled by how close you were able to become with Steve again, and how almost too easily it was able to happen.

Joking around with one another actually felt normal to do, and even talking to each other about anything and everything somehow felt like second nature all over again.

Steve was the one person from your “before” life that you had wholeheartedly believed you never wanted to see again, and now you were glad that he was in your life again. Those stark lines between “before” and “after” that you had drawn twelve years ago were now completely smudged.

Sometimes when the two of you were in your or his office late at night simultaneously working on whatever you needed to while eating takeout from random places, you were hit with the thought, “Holy shit, I can’t believe I’m here with Steve fucking Harrington right now,” and when you would tell him that random thought, he’d laugh a bit and agree that this sudden turn of events did feel at least a little unexpected.

But, he liked how things changed these past few months, and you really did too.

Now it was you asking to use the shower in his hotel room that once again made you feel surprised by how comfortable you were with him.

“Can I use your shower? The one in my room doesn’t get hot for some reason,” You had said and then immediately laughed because of how insane the request was, but of course, Steve didn’t mind.

“Yeah, sure,” He answered with a nod of his head, opening his door further to fully let you in the room.

“Thank you,” You said, smiling at him as you walked in, a towel from your hotel room next door in hand along with a change of clothes. “I’m gonna tell the front desk about it tomorrow. I would do it now, but after the four-hour drive today, I actually feel disgusting and am in dire need of a shower.”

The two of you along with a handful of other faculty from the English, History, and Theology departments were in upstate New York for a small weekend-long conference. Things like that were definitely one of your favorite parts of your job. Hearing talks from the authors of books that you loved, and then being able to pick their brains afterward. It felt like you were a student all over again, but in a better way because you were only listening to the stuff you cared about.

It was also pretty endearing seeing how excited Steve was about everything too. He’d gone on and on about a lecture on World War II that was scheduled for tomorrow for at least an hour during your car ride together, and his happy rambling somehow made you want to go to it too.

“I haven’t taken a shower yet, so I actually don’t know if mine works either,” Steve told you as you headed toward the bathroom.

“Oh God, please don’t say that,” You responded and went to turn on the shower. You sighed in relief when you felt the water get warm on your hand. “Okay, we’re good!”

After your shower, you joined Steve where he was sitting at the foot of his bed. It probably would’ve made sense to head back to your room, both of you had to be up fairly early in the morning, but you didn’t necessarily want to leave just yet; even though the two of you had just spent the past four hours holed up in a car together.

He was clicking through channels on the small television placed atop the dresser, trying to decide on something to put on, before settling on a movie that looked quite familiar to you; Footloose. It was the movie that the two of you watched the first time you went over to his house that summer.

“Do you remember this movie?” He smiled at you and it was hard not to laugh at his question.

You met his gaze. “I definitely remember, but do you? Because you fell asleep during it.”

“I eventually got around to watching it,” He responded and you smiled at that.

“Good,” You told him as you pulled your eyes away from his and turned your attention back toward the television, the movie was close to the end.

When the credits started rolling ten minutes later, you were about to say goodnight to Steve and finally head back next door to your room, but he started speaking before you said anything.

“Do you ever wonder how different things would be now if we had ended up together back then?” He asked, and the vulnerability and genuine curiosity laced within the question made your heart constrict. “If I hadn’t been an idiot and gone back to Nancy at the end of the summer. If I realized earlier that I really wanted to be with you.”

His words actually managed to surprise you because, over the last few months of you and Steve becoming friends again, that part of your deeply intertwined past was something that neither of you talked about. What the two of you used to be to each other, so deeply and utterly in love, hadn’t once come up in your conversations. Maybe it was the elephant in the room that had yet to be addressed. However, a part of you also felt that it was unnecessary to talk about it because, just like everything else, that was also in the past.

“Things would’ve definitely been different,” You ultimately said, words feeling unsure because you now felt so confused. Your next statements came out rushed as you leaned back on the bed, your back hitting the comforter and your hands covering your face because you were purposefully avoiding eye contact with him. “Sorry, I don’t really know what to say right now. I didn’t expect you to say that, and now my mind is kinda spiraling a bit.”

The question became a broken record in your mind.

Do you ever wonder how different things would be now if we had ended up together back then?

You actually had never wondered about that because, for the longest time, you had forced yourself not to think about Steve, or that summer, or even Hawkins in general. But now your brain was spiraling in a thousand different directions with potential answers to the simply stated but insanely loaded question.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was a stupid question. I don’t even know why I asked it, honestly,” Steve responded, words coming out rushed just as yours had. Something about his current sudden nervousness reminded you of the first encounter you two had in the hallway when you learned that he lived in Rhode Island. “Please forget I said anything.”

You didn’t want to forget, though.

“It would’ve been good, I think,” You said softly. You could feel Steve’s eyes on you, but you still didn’t want to meet his gaze. “I think we would’ve been really good together. I wouldn’t have spent almost every day working at the library, and instead, I would’ve gone to your basketball games and swim meets, and I’d actually enjoy it all because I was watching you. And we would’ve gotten drunk at parties on the weekends, and then the next morning you’d still drive me to my shift at the library and stay the entire time because there was nothing else that you wanted to spend your Sunday morning and afternoon doing. Maybe after graduating, we would’ve chosen colleges somewhere close to Hawkins, or even somewhere so far away from the small town. Probably someplace far away. But that part of it doesn’t really matter because we would’ve been together, and that’s all that would have mattered.”

There was really no doubt in your mind that that would’ve happened, or a different but similar version occurring that also included you and Steve simply being happy and in love with one another.

You felt the bed shift a bit after a few moments of your previous words lingering in the air of the hotel room and settling heavily over Steve, and you finally pulled your hands away from your face to look at him. He was now also leaning back against the bed and staring up at the ceiling.

“God, I was such a dumbass,” He muttered, and you could hear the sadness in his voice.

You turned on your side to face him. “We both were. I wish I let myself forgive you at that party.”

“I didn’t deserve your forgiveness then,” He responded as he turned on his side as well and met your eyes. “Sometimes I feel like I barely deserve it now.”

There was so much you could’ve said in response to that but words didn’t feel right in that moment. So, instead of saying something along the lines of, “Please stop beating yourself up about it. You’re a good person,” you shimmied yourself closer to him, closing the small gap of space between you two, and pulled him in for a hug.

The position was awkward, one of your arms was sandwiched underneath him and you knew that it would almost immediately fall asleep and cause some discomfort. However, any and all awkwardness faded away when you felt Steve reciprocate and his arms circled around you.

“It’s okay, okay? I promise everything is okay between us,” You whispered, almost certain that your words got lost in his neck, but when you felt him squeeze you tighter you knew that he was able to hear you clearly. And not only that, but he believed you.

And then it felt like almost second nature for you to make a joke to make things feel light again. “Actually, I’m still offended that you fell asleep during Footloose the first time we ever hung out. I don’t forgive you for that.”

You felt his body shake with laughter which made you smile, and after a few moments, you pulled back from the hug to find him smiling softly at you.

“I’ll redeem myself when the sequel comes out,” He said.

“It’s been twelve years, I think the sequel ship has sailed.”

He laughed again. “Okay, yeah, that’s true.”

You should’ve taken the newfound silence as your opportunity to say goodnight to him and head next door to your room. However, you couldn’t find the will to fully pull yourself away from him. His arms were still around you, like yours were, and your faces were dangerously close. But, the current proximity didn’t feel dangerous or worrisome to you. Instead, it simply felt right; which was an abrupt feeling that should’ve confused you, but somehow it didn’t.

“I really missed you,” He told you, breaking the silence with a statement that only cemented that “rightness” you were feeling at that moment.

“I missed you too.” Your four words somehow felt so effortlessly honest. Even though you had pretended that he and that summer never mattered by forcing your thoughts away from it all, Steve always still held a place in your heart. Deep down inside of you, something that resembled a yearning for him almost always lingered. “I constantly tried to tell myself that that wasn’t true, but I really did miss you… And I’m so glad we’re here right now.”

“Me too.” He looked at you so softly that you felt yourself slowly melting under his gaze.

In your mind, which now suddenly felt so clear and the farthest thing from confused, the next thing you wanted to do seemed like the best thing to do. In fact, it was something that you felt like you needed to do.

Your hand that was resting at the nape of Steve’s neck moved to his cheek as you dipped your head just a tiny bit closer to him.

Steve closed the small gap some more and his lips ghosted over yours for what felt like a fraction of a second before he pulled back a little and looked at you. “Are you sure?”

“Now that sounds awfully familiar,” You joked, referring to that moment in his pool all those years ago, and although he cracked a smile at your statement, you knew his question was serious.

You weren’t kids anymore. The two of you couldn’t just kiss and let it mean nothing in the end.

But, you truly didn’t want it to mean nothing.

You couldn’t have a good ending back then, but did that mean that you still couldn’t have one now?

“I’m so sure about this,” You told him and before he could potentially respond with anything, you let your lips find his, and how quickly Steve kissed you back nonverbally told you how he felt about it all too.

You were completely done for, you knew that for certain. There was nothing that could compare to this and there would never be anything that could compare to this— Steve’s lips on yours for the first time in years, but it feeling like the last time it happened was only yesterday. It was all so innate and easy, probably the easiest thing you’d ever done.

The way his hand found your waist to pull you even closer to him, which made you inwardly smile, and the way you let your fingers settle in his hair and lightly tug on the brown locks, which elicited a soft sigh in contentment from him— you still knew every part of each other so well.

Two people that had been apart for so long finally coming back together. It was a statement that technically summed up you and Steve, but in your eyes, that felt too simple and didn’t accurately summarize the hurt, pain, and turmoil that had accompanied the past twelve years. And it especially didn’t correctly encompass the current part of it all, the “coming back together” part.

Because that part felt indescribable.

A part of it felt similar to watching a movie that ended just the way you wanted it to, or having someone right there to help you get back up and patch up your wounds after you’d fallen off your bike. A feeling that said that even though everything had once felt so uncertain and the complete opposite of perfect, it wasn’t that way anymore.

Things quickly felt so good and right, and both of you were already making internal promises— promises that you’d later whisper to one another while wrapped up in the sheets of Steve’s bed— to never let each other go so easily again.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“and i knew you'd come back to me. you’d come back.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

let me know ur thoughts<333

(read “august” here!)

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem!reader #stranger things fic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington angst #steve harrington one shot #stranger things imagine #stranger things smut #stranger things fluff

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hwanchaesong · 6 months

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Folklore: A Trilogy

Destinies intertwined, hearts broken, and memories dangling around the red string of fate.

🍀 Part 1 - August

Childhood friend!Jake X F!Reader

genre: fluff, smut, angst

Synopsis: Ever since you left home to pursue the city life, you really did think that everything was over. Then you returned, and you still see him there. Will something rekindle and burn inside you once more?

Read here

🍀Part 2 - Betty

Boyfriend!Sunghoon X F!Reader

genre: fluff, angst, smut

Synopsis: A terrible, grave mistake during the summer made you realize how much he means to you. Guilt is eating you inside and out, but still, you don't want him to slip through your fingers.

🍀 Part 3 - Cardigan

Childhood friend!Jake X F!Reader X Boyfriend!Sunghoon

genre: fluff, angst, smut

Synopsis: Flashback of the past, hindsight of the future, stepping all the way through the present. It's now or never.

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a/n; for those who want to be added to the taglist, please do tell me :> you can do so by sending me an ask, messaging me, or y'all can simply comment under the post.

tysm! 🩷

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alyrasturnz · 2 months

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BETTY

❐ summary » in a fleeting lapse of weakness, y/n succumbed to temptation and embarked on a clandestine affair with chris, their secret rendezvous hidden beneath the sultry veil of summer. as the days grew shorter, y/n's guilt became unbearable, compelling her to sever ties with chris abruptly. feeling both scorned and bewildered, chris confided his heartbreak to nate, who, out of genuine concern, divulged the affair to matt. overwhelmed by betrayal, matt chose to end his relationship with y/n, leaving a trail of shattered trust in their wake.

❐ pairings » ex!matt x fem!reader

❐ warnings » mentions of cheating, angst, argument (resolved), happy ending

❐ a/n && w/c » the melatonin is taking over my body • 1.28k

august (p1) // cardigan (p2)

it had been several months since matt ended things with you, and the wound still felt as fresh as the day it happened. the pain lingered, a constant reminder of the betrayal that had come to light.

nate had been the one to break the fragile peace, his words like daggers as he revealed the secret of your summer fling with chris. the memory of that moment haunted you, the look of hurt and betrayal in matt's eyes seared into your mind.

and it hurt deeply. you were acutely aware that the blame lay squarely on your shoulders, recognizing that what you did was one of the most egregious betrayals imaginable. yet, despite the guilt and regret, you couldn't help but miss him profoundly.

you missed the way he effortlessly brought laughter into your life, the tenderness of his kisses. you longed for the warmth of his embrace and the gentle way he would wipe away your tears, offering solace in your moments of sorrow.

the weight of your impulsive actions bore down on you, a constant reminder of the fragility of trust and the irrevocable damage caused by a moment of weakness. you longed for the days when his mere presence could soothe your soul, but now, that solace was lost to the consequences of your own making.

the depth of his struggle was evident in his absence, the way he retreated from the world, unable to confront the daily challenges without the support you once provided. his anxiety, once mitigated by your presence, now overwhelmed him completely, and the burden of knowing you were the cause of his distress weighed heavily on your conscience.

he had transferred to a different homeroom, his gaze never meeting yours, a silent testament to the chasm that now lay between you. each attempt to bridge the gap was met with cold indifference, his dismissal of your presence a painful reminder of the fracture you had caused. the once familiar warmth in his eyes had turned to ice, and the space where connection once flourished was now filled with an unspoken void.

your heels resonated with a rhythmic clink against the cobblestone as you inched closer to his abode. meticulously planned for weeks, the gravity of the moment now began to sink in, enveloping you in a mixture of anticipation and trepidation. each step echoed the weight of your intentions, a symphony of sound that underscored the significance of what was about to unfold.

your heels clinked on the hardwood floor of his porch, the sound sharp and crisp in the evening air. you raised your finger to the doorbell, the booming music from within the house reverberating through the walls, a stark contrast to the stillness outside. the cacophony inside seemed to mock the quiet resolve you had mustered, each beat amplifying the tension of the moment.

you felt like you couldn't breathe, the sight of his house for the first time since the breakup weighing heavily on you. the memories of that night, running out in tears, flooded back with an overwhelming intensity. each step closer seemed to tighten the invisible grip around your chest, the emotional weight almost too much to bear.

your best friend had informed you that he was hosting a party for the first time in months, the first since your breakup. she mentioned it would be the perfect opportunity to extend an apology. the thought of facing him again, amidst the revelry, filled you with a mix of apprehension and hope, the weight of unspoken words pressing heavily on your mind.

your teeth sank into your bottom lip as you pressed the doorbell, the sound reverberating through the house like a distant echo of your own heartbeat. each chime seemed to pulse through the walls, amplifying the tension that coiled within you.

you stood there, ensnared in a web of your own thoughts, until the door finally creaked open. the solitude of the moment stretched endlessly, each second an eternity, until the threshold was breached by another presence.

matt.

your lips parted ever so slightly, your eyes widening just a fraction, a subtle shift that could easily have been missed.

he looked astonishingly the same yet utterly mesmerizing. it was as though time had preserved him perfectly, but with an added brilliance that left you breathless.

the muscles in his face tightened, his eyebrows knitting together in a storm of frustration. “the fucking nerve,” he muttered, slamming the door shut, but you managed to catch it with your hand just in time.

“please, matt,” you pleaded, your voice barely more than a whisper, a fragile thread of desperation woven into your words. “i just want to talk.”

he opened the door just a fraction, his eyes locking onto yours as the rigidity in his muscles gradually melted away. the subtle shift in his expression spoke volumes, revealing a lingering affection that time and conflict had not erased. despite everything, he still loved you.

“fine,” he muttered, seizing your wrist with a firm grip and pulling you inside. he closed the door behind him with a definitive click, leading you through the house with an almost urgent determination until you found yourselves in the backyard, amidst the serene chaos of the garden.

he then released your hand, his voice carrying a firm edge as he spoke. “go ahead. talk.” there was no softness in his tone, only a resolute demand.

you stand in the garden, the evening breeze rustling the leaves around you, a stark contrast to the storm brewing in matt's eyes. "matt, please," you begin, your voice trembling with the weight of your regret. "i never meant to hurt you. i made a mistake, and i'm so sorry."

matt's jaw tightens, his eyes narrowing as he takes a step back. "sorry? you think sorry is enough? you betrayed me, y/n. you shattered everything we had."

you take a deep breath, feeling the sting of his words. "i know i did, and i hate myself for it. but i love you, matt. i can't imagine my life without you."

he scoffs, turning away from you, his fists clenched at his sides. "love? you call this love? you went behind my back, y/n. you broke my trust."

you take a deep breath, feeling the sting of his words. "i know i did, and i hate myself for it. but i love you, matt. i can't imagine my life without you."

his voice rises, sharp and cutting, "you think love excuses what you did? you think it makes everything okay? you destroyed us, y/n. and now you want me to just forget it ever happened?"

tears well up in your eyes as you step closer, reaching out to touch his arm. "please, matt. i know i've hurt you, but i promise i'll do whatever it takes to make it right. i can't lose you."

for a moment, he stands there, silent and rigid. then, slowly, he turns to face you, his eyes still filled with anger but softened by a glimmer of longing. "how can i trust you again?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

you take his hand in yours, your fingers trembling. "i'll prove it to you, every day. just give me a chance."

matt hesitates, his heart waging a war against his mind. finally, with a heavy sigh, he pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly. "i miss you so much," he murmurs, his voice breaking. "i love you, y/n. just... don't ever hurt me like this again."

you nodded against his chest, tears cascading down your face like a relentless river. "i won't, matt. i promise," you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of your vow.

taglist — @imwetforyourmom @meatballzerz69 @pinkishpearls @bandanamatt @thedangerousalleyway @muchloveforhacker @frozenpeanutbutterr @jetaimevous @everleiqh @conspiracy-ash @ifwdominicfike @blahbel668 @slutforsturnioloss @realuvrrr @sturnobsessedwh0re

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lateatnewyork · 7 months

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Teenage Love Triangle

charlie bushnell x fem!reader

summary: you and charlie star in the taylor swift trilogy short film along with sabrina carpenter. (cardigan, august, betty)

warnings: smau, fluff

a/n STOP IVE BEEN WANTING TO WRITE THIS FOR AGES BUT SCHOOL IS JS SO UGH um so reader is an orphan her parental figures are taylor and travis (she’s not adopted by them it’s js they’re like that to her)

liked by sabrinacarpenter, ynln and others taylorswift can’t wait to add this to my short films directed by me collection (it’s really not that big) view comments

user34 OMG WHOS JAMES??? ➔taylorfanpage BIGGER QUESTION: WHOS AUGUSTINE??? ➔ user09 EVEN BIGGER QUESTION: WHOS BETTY????? gracieabrams been waiting for this 🤭 ➔ ynln same 🤭 ➔ hearts4yn they know something walkerscobell AHHH FOLKLORES MY FAVOURITE ➔ walkersno1fan WALKER’S A SWIFTIE?? ➔ leahsavajeffries only bcos of me

comments

user67 CHARLIE AND YN I REPEAT CHARLIE AND YN. hearts4yn IM ABSOLUTELY GEEKING OVER YN AND CHARLIE ynandsabrinarmyqueens “james and betty this” or “james and betty that” honestly screw james, betty and augustine should get to together ➔ sabrinafan REALL hearts4yn PLS MARRY ME YN 💍 ynloml i need a romcom with charlie and yn ASAP simpforsabrina i’ve watched this 20 times in the day it’s been released js to see yn 😭

liked by iamcharliebushnell, leahsavajeffries and others ynln folklore: teenage love triangle has to be one of the best sets i’ve been on (not js cos taylor was the director), i absolutely loved working with bri and charlie. and director taylor is an absolute dream. (wish she was the director for every movie i act in) view comments

taylorswift you, charlie and sabrina were perfect for this role absolutely loved this and working with you guys ➔ ynln LOVE YOUUU leahsavajeffries someone tell me if i can inject this film into me ➔ ynln 🤭 ➔ walkerscobell it’s giving druggie aryansimhadri now i have to do the holy trinity for karaoke night 😔 (i’ve been looking for an excuse for this since forever) ➔ ynln LMAO PLS DO dior.n.goodjohn google can i inhale a short film? ➔ ynln NUMBER ONE FAN RIGHT HERE sabrinacarpenter you and charlie were made for each other this comment was deleted sabrinacarpenter IT WAS SO FUN TO FILM WITH YOU ➔ ynln YOU WERE THE STAR FRFR ➔ sabrinacarpenter 🙈 hearts4yn context for picture 1?? ➔ gracieabrams yn js found out she had to make out with charlie on screen ➔ iamcharliebushnell wow i see how it is ➔ ynln it’s not what it looks like i swear walkerscobell context for last pic??? ➔ ynln taylor was literally telling you not to run around with the cameras

singing trio gracie, bro

gracie sabrina ur not slick bri I DELETED IT yn deleted what?? bri the important thing is to not panic yn did u js quote grover from pjo bri i’ve been watching it so i can prepare for when ur silena gracie 🙄 sabrina commented how u and charlie were made for each other yn SABRINA ANNLYNN CARPENTER YOU DID WHAT bri gracie i was literally getting to it yn yk what it’s fine i mean we should probably go public, taylor knows and she approves gracie exactly you have nothing to worry about yn i have travis to worry abt 😭 bri im sure charlie could fight him

demigod fakers char 💕, diorolor, cutie leah, walkie-talkie, rolling in the deep

diorolor dude WHY IS THE INTERNET SO CLUELESS walkie-talkie HELP THATS SO RANDOM cutie leah NO COS FR LIKE WDYM THAT YOU THINK YN AND CHARLIE ARE SUCH A GOOD ON SCREEN COUPLE rolling in the deep theyre a good offscreen couple too diorolor HARD LAUNCH HIM cutie leah OR SOFT LAUNCH WE DONT RLLY CARE diorolor JS LAUNCH HIM yn i didn’t know u guys felt so strongly abt this topic😔 walkie-talkie LAUNCH HIM rolling in the deep LAUNCH HIM diorolor LAUNCH HIM cutie leah listen to the ppl yn char 💕 why are there so many notifications yn dw babe

liked by sabrinacarpenter, dior.n.goodjohn ynln the gc forced me to soft launch him view comments

sabrinacarpenter i’d like to praise leah and dior 🙏 gracieabrams FINALLY leahsavajeffries NO WAY LET YOU TIE A RIBBON AROUND HIS MUSCLES walkie-talkie i think i know who it is ➔ ynln YOU LITERALLY TOLD ME TO LAUNCH HIM 😭 killatrav who’s this ➔ ynln i can explain…

liked by taylorswift, gracieabrams and others ynln they hung out without me but watched little women??? comments are closed

liked by iamcharliebushnell, walkerscobell and others ynln meant to post that on my private 😅 whoops here’s my bf guys view comments

iamcharliebushnell i love you ➔ ynln i love you too baby walkerscobell LOLLL ➔ ynln THE SOFT LAUNCHING DID NOT LAST sabrinacarpenter ur too goofy 😭 ➔ ynln stop 😭 dior.n.goodjohn HELPP ➔ ynln STOP BULLYING ME IN MY OWN COMMENT SECTION gracieabrams the panic in ur eyes when u realised that you posted on the wrong account 😭 ➔ leahsavajeffries 😭 ➔ dior.n.goodjohn 😭 ➔ sabrinacarpenter 😭

liked by ynln, leahsavajeffries and others iamcharliebushnell love you ynn tagged: ynln comments are closed

liked by walkerscobell, leahsavajeffries and others ynln lil photo dump for the end of the year, see you guys next year 😜 comments are closed

a/n WALKER AND LEAH GOT BANNED??? also i got sleepy near the end that’s why there’s not many comments

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tayloralisonswift · 2 months

Text

cruel summer x taylor swift's discography

treacherous (treacherous lyric video) / betty (cardigan lyric video) / gold rush (gold rush lyric video)

slut! (slut! lyric video) / happiness (happiness lyric video) / anti-hero (slut! lyric video)

hey stephen (lover era website background) / superman (superman tv lyric video) / starlight (starlight tv lyric video)

slut! (slut! lyric video) / how did it end? (how did it end? lyric video) / so high school (so high school lyric video)

cold as you (castles crumbling lyric video) / gorgeous (slut! lyric video) / gold rush (gold rush lyric video)

electric touch (electric touch lyric video) / i can see you (i can see you lyric video) / say don't go (say don't go lyric video)

so it goes (reputation stadium tour photo) / willow (willow music video) / closure (closure lyric video)

cardigan (cardigan music video) / you're losing me (right where you left me lyric video) / the prophecy (the prophecy lyric video)

slut! (slut! lyric video) / hits different (i knew you were trouble music video) / guilty as sin? (guilty as sin? lyric video)

don't blame me (wildest dreams tv lyric video) / illicit affairs (illicit affairs lyric video) / peace (peace lyric video)

love story (love story music video) / style (style music video) / dancing with our hands tied (blank space music video)

white horse (white horse tv lyric video) / come back, be here (message in a bottle lyric video) / say don't go (say don't go lyric video)

slut! (slut! lyric video) / snow on the beach ft. lana del rey (snow on the beach lyric video) / mastermind (slut! lyric video)

wonderland (wonderland tv lyric video) / end game (end game music video) / lavender haze (lavender haze lyric video)

paper rings (lover era website background) / hoax (hoax lyric video) / bejeweled (bejeweled lyric video)

blank space (blank space tv lyric video) / wildest dreams (wildest dreams music video) / would've could've should've (would've could've should've lyric video)

august (august lyric video) / daylight (maroon lyric video) / hits different (you are in love lyric video)

#taylor swift #web weave #web weaving #long post #k speaks now

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catastrophicblues · 2 years

Text

the eras tour setlist

act i — lover era

miss americana & the heartbreak prince

cruel summer

the man

you need to calm down

lover (acoustic)

the archer

act ii — fearless era

fearless

you belong with me

love story

act iii — evermore era

tis the damn season

willow

marjorie

champagne problems (piano)

tolerate it

act iv — reputation era

…ready for it?

delicate

don’t blame me

look what you made me do

act v — speak now era

enchanted

act vi — red era

we are never ever getting back together

i knew you were trouble

all too well (acoustic)

act vii — folklore era

invisible string

betty (acoustic)

the last great american dynasty

august / illicit affairs (mashup)

my tears ricochet

cardigan

act viii — 1989 era

style

blank space

shake it off

wildest dreams

bad blood

act ix — surprise song / debut era

mirrorball (acoustic)

tim mcgraw (piano)

act x — midnights era

lavender haze

anti-hero

midnight rain

vigilante shit

bejeweled

mastermind

karma

#taylor swift #the eras tour #eras tour

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scarisd3ad · 1 year

Text

Betty

Masterlist

Taglist

Pairing - glenn Rhee x fem!reader and Glenn Rhee x Maggie Greene

Warnings - mentions of cheating, cursing

‘The worst thing that I’ve ever did was what I did to you’

August - betty - cardigan

"You had sex with Maggie?" her heart broke into a million pieces; she didn't expect the person she loved so dearly to break her heart. his mouth fell open as he stuttered "y-y/n-" she didn't let him finish his sentence, she slams the rv door closed and turns around with tears falling down her cheeks.

"shit" Glenn muttered as he got up and ran after her. by the time he was outside it seemed like she was miles away. once he got to her, he grabbed her wrist "y/n honey I-I didn't mean for you to find out like that." at this point tears as streaming down her cheeks as she tried pulling her wrist out of his grip, but he wouldn't let go. "Fuck you, Glenn let go" she cried as she still tried pulling away. "no! we need to talk y/n" there was no talking needed she knew everything she needed to know.

"I don't want to talk to you!" he felt really bad, he really did. he hated seeing her hurt. he hated the fact that he hurt her. they had now caught the attention of almost everyone in the group. y/n was still trying to pull away from Glenns tight grip. "We need to talk!" she shook her head as tears kept falling "I told you I don't wanna!"

"What the hell's goin' on over here?" rick asked as he walked up with Shane following. y/n's still trying to pull away when Shane said "come on man let go of her" Glenn reluctantly let go as he whispered "y/n come on talk to me" as y/n swiftly turned around walking towards her and Glenns shared tent. she hated the fact that she'd either have to sleep outside or next to him. "y/n come on- I-I'm sorry."

"What the hell did you do?" Shane asked with brows furrowed as they watched y/n storm off. "Fucked up...I fucked up" Glenn whispered as he turned around to see Maggie stood on her father's porch. she rolled her eyes as they made eye contact.

Glenn gives y/n time to cool down he doesn't want to piss her off even more. he sits in dales rv contemplating what he's going to do to get y/n back. the worst thing that he had ever did was this, hurting her. would she let him talk to him, would she even trust him?

y/n sat in her and Glenns shared tent, the only way anyone could identify that she was there was because of the quiet sobs coming from the tent. she hated him, how could he do that to her. after 7 years he just threw it all away. she could handle this type of heartbreak, he had been her first love, her first real boyfriend, she felt like she had wasted her entire life.

to say Maggie felt horrible was an understatement. she had torn two people apart on accident. she didn't know that what she told herself over and over again to try and make herself feel better, but it didn't work. she needed to talk to y/n and explain what had happened. Maggie felt heartbroken too, but it wasn't the same, and she knew it wasn't the same because he wasn't hers to lose.

when Maggie went over to y/n and Glenns tent y/n was still inside the tent crying. "Hey? y/n?" Maggie called out. y/n didn't want to talk to anyone, she just wanted to sit with her emotions, but she reluctantly pulled herself together and muttered an almost inaudible "what?" through sniffles. if Maggie wasn't so close to the tent, she wouldn't have even heard y/ns quiet words.

"I wanted to just say I'm sorry." y/n was tired of sorry, a sorry wasn't going to fix what was already broken. "He um....I asked him if he had a girlfriend before I even offered and he said he didn't." he lied, she really didn't understand did he really just not love her anymore? did he hate her so much that he thought it would be fun to fuck with me like this? her now knowing that he lied crushed her heart again. "oh" y/n mumbled as she begun to crawl out of the tent. "And I wouldn't have even offered if I knew you were together."

y/n stood up facing Maggie with her arms crossed over her chest, her cheeks tear stained, and her eyes red. "I-I we were together for 7 years." y/n whispers, "I love him so much...I don't know why he would do this to me" she cries as fresh tears start to fall down her cheeks.

Glenn watches from afar, he was going to talk to y/n when he saw Maggie and her talking. he just wanted to squeeze y/n so tight and tell her he loved her, because he really did. he loved her so much and never wanted her to think the opposite, but obviously she thinks that now. he wanted to make it up to her, show her how much he loved her, but he didn't think she'd let him.

"y/n?" he took a few steps forward toward the two girls. "i'll let you guys talk" maggie said as she quickly walked away. glenn walks closer and tries to take y/ns hands in his "y/n hon-" but she quickly cuts him off as she slaps his hands away "dont touch me" her words were full of hate, her words stab him right in the heart. it breaks his heart knowing that he's made the girl that once had nothing but love for him hate him. "y/n- im sorry please im sorry" he's begging for her to take him back but she wont, atleast right now. a sorry isnt going to make her trust him again.

"im leaving, ill find some where else to sleep" she whispers, he shakes his head as he tries once again to touch her but she steps back. 'you-you dont have to sleep here" she shakes her head "i dont want to" the tent was full of too many memories. memories of the sleepless nights where he'd hold her and press sweet kisses to her neck and shoulders, memories of all the love she once had for him.

y/n doesn't even talk about Glenn for the next few days. the only time his name is even mentioned in her head is at night when she curls up and lets herself cry. Glenn hates himself; he hates that he hurt her. he needs to talk to her, he needs to win her back, but he doesn't even know how to do it. he spent the few days after the day y/n had found out fantasying about how he'd explain everything, and she'd kiss him and forgive him. he knows that that might not happen though, y/n wouldn't even look at him.

at night he'd fall asleep and dream of her forgiving him and taking him back. he dreamed of her soft hands on his face, and her soft lips against his, he dreamed of being able to hold her in his arms again, he dreamed of her being his again.

when he finally had the balls to go to dales rv, where she had been staying for the past couple of day, it was late. the sun was setting, and everyone was getting ready to go to bed. dale and Andrea were on top of the rv still keeping watch as he walked up to the rv. dale wasn't going to step in unless he heard screaming, but he was sure that wouldn't happen. Glenn makes sure to knock on the door before walking in. y/n is sat at the table with her elbows propped up against it. "What do you want?" she asks. he slowly walks toward her "I-I want to talk" she rolls her eyes but ends up muttering a quiet "fine" and scooting over so he could sit next to her. he smiles and takes a seat next to her. he missed her so much, even though it had only been a few days he just missed everything about her.

"y/n I'm so sorry" he whispered; she nods in response. she can tell he's sorry, and she knows what he's going to ask. he's going to ask her to give him another chance, but she doesn't think she can trust him again. "why'd you do it?" she asked, he's a little taken aback by the question, he doesn't even know how to answer it because he doesn't know why he did it. "I-I don't know." he whispered. he knows his answer is pathetic, he can't even make an excuse for himself. she scoffed and turned away from him. he decided just to go for it what's the worst that could happen? "y/n honey please give me one more chance I miss you so much" he whispers as he grabs her arm. she turns toward him, and Glenns heart fills with hope. she takes her hand and places it to his cheek before pressing her lips to his. Glenn is about to cry because he didn't think he'd ever get to kiss her again, but y/n just wanted one last kiss. one last kiss before she lets go of him forever. she pulls away just as he kisses back. his brows furrowed together as y/n said "Glenn I-I can't, I don't trust you anymore."

his breath gets caught in his throat, and tears form in his water line. she didn't trust him, that was the only thing going through his mind. she really didn't trust him anymore, but can he blame her? he caused this and he knows it. "y/n- no please I didn't mean to hurt you" he pleaded his grip around her arm tightening. "Glenn, I love you I really do but I can't trust that you won't hurt me again." but she loved him, she said she loved him. if she loved him, why couldn't she take him back, Glenn didn't understand. his brows furrowed together as a tear fell down his cheek. "b-but I won't." he whispered. she feels like she's punishing herself more than she's punishing him, but she's already made up her mind and didn't want him to have the expectation of him being able to take advantage of the fact that she had a soft spot for him. she hated seeing him cry but he needed to know that just because she still loved him doesn't mean the relationship would even work anymore.

"Glenn, I can't give us another chance, but we can be friends."

#fanfics #x reader #glenn rhee x reader #glenn Rhee #glenn Rhee x fem!reader #glenn Rhee x female!reader #glenn rhee x maggie greene #female!reader #fem!reader #f!reader #the walking dead #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead season 2 #twd #maggie greene #Spotify

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sophietv · 1 year

Note

Hi, I'm relatively new to the whole Gaylor/Kaylor/LSK universe so I'm sorry if this is a silly ask! But I'm curious to hear your thoughts on theory of Kaylor "breaking up" in 2019/20 which potentially caused folklore/evermore (both albums contain some very heartbreaking songs and feel influenced by the reality of Taylor's life at the time) and then the rumour of William Bowery being Karlie? I don't buy the whole Joe being WB so then it leaves me wondering if Karlie is indeed WB where does the break up fit in, if at all?

Also just wanted to say thank you so much for all the analysis posts and threads you do both on here and Twitter! Appreciate it very much!

Hi!

This is not a silly question at all!

In fact it is exactly THE Kaylor question of all.

And to answer this questions is really complex, because there's just soooo much.

I'm so sorry, because this is gonna be a VERY long answer...

About the "Breakup"

I personnally go back and forth as to know if they really broke up or not in 2019.

Either way, it was not for long. I think max a couple of weeks/months.

It's really difficult too, to point out exactly where this would have happened.

But if I have to guess, I would say that they might have broken up/taken a break, toward the month of August 2019 and most probably got back together toward Octobre/Novembre 2019.

What makes me think that?

Taylor when she explains the song Betty during the concert. When she points out where the event happened, she always say during the month of August.

The song August, from the teenage love triangle. The fact that she chose to name the song this. Betty is Karlie and James is Taylor. August is what happened that is "the worst thing that I ever did, is what I did to you".

In Septembre 2019, Taylor did the BBC1 performance and the Lover In Paris Concert. Both were really a shift in the Lover Era aesthetic and presentation. She wore all black, sung mostly accoustic versions, surprise songs and covers were break up songs and she looked devastated while doing this.

What makes me think they got back together then:

Back in Novembre, Taylor sarted flagging Karlie heavily again, and Karlie did the same. And honnestly, once you notice everything they did since then, it's really the only proof you need. (I will do, or try to do an extensive post on all the flagging that went on after the Lover Era, because there's just so much. (Hopefully I'll have time to do it tonight).

In the teenage love triangle, the most important part is that in the end, in Cardigan, James goes back to Betty and they end up together.

Betty is not the only song that Taylor did about that precise moment. Talking about "betraying" Karlie in some way. Long Story Short also talks about this. And ends up with Taylor going back to the person that she "betrayed".

In a Fearless (Taylor's Version) interview, Taylor talks about how her Vault Track songs haven't changed much since the moment she wrote them. Except for That's When, where she said that she changed it to be a duo. Because before she never experienced having doubt about a relationship and saying to the other person that she needed space and time and that the other person granted her this. She said that the other person saying that it's ok and being willing to give her time and space to figure herself out is what made her realise that she really wanted to be with that person. I think that this interview is SO important to all the LSK interpretation afterward. Here's the link to that interview:

youtube

5. Then you also have The Great War that is like the ultimate confirmation that whatever happened back in 2019 is behind them and that they are together now.

Here's a post I did about this: (X)

But yeah, I think the most important part of all this, is the flagging that they did and keep doing. It's just insane how much they both flags each other and at this point there's just too much Koincidences to pretend tha it's accidental.

About Folklore and Evermore:

You are totally right when you say that both those albums are incredibly sad with a lot of hearbreaking songs.

And it's true that at first, it's really hard to listen to them and not think that they broke up for sure.

But when you sit with them for a bit and listen to what Taylor had to say about the songs in those albums. Especially during the Long Pond Studio Session, you realise that yes those albums are incredibly sad and talk about betrayal, grief, depression etc. But the story that Folklore and Evermore tell is not a story about a breakup. And to understand that, it's important to take into consideration that during that time, Taylor was going though soooo much. More than anyone should go through in their entire life. And it was more than enough, without a breakup on top, for her to be heartbroken like she seemed to be during those eras:

Wanting to come out and not being able to.

Being accused of queerbaiting by the medias because you wanted to come out and was not able to. (It really looked at some point like going back to 2016...)

Being betrayed by someone that you thought was a parental figure.

Losing 13 years of hard work, and not being able anymore to do what you want with things that YOU made.

Having your tour cancelled.

Covid and not knowing if you'll ever be able to do what you love again.

Her mother's heath.

So yeah... this was sooo much and she showed so much resillience and strenght. But I think it was more than enough to warrant looking heartbroken like she did and writting heartbreak albums. Without on top of it all, breaking up with the love of her life (wich might have happened too during a small period of time...).

I will try really hard to not do a whole album analysis here, but just point out some things, because if I do, my post is never gonna end... (edit: I failed...kind of)

Folklore:

Betty, August and Cardigan:

Like I said before, this trio tells a story of making a mistake and breaking someone's heart while doing so. But ultimately coming back to the person.

Exile:

Taylor said that this was meant to represent a fight between two lovers that were not able to just listen to the other person. They are both trying to explain themselves but both are talking over each other and in the end are not able to find common ground.

(something like that, it's been a while since I've watched the LPSS)

And this narrative fits really well with The Great War, Long Story Short and even Betty, misscommunication that led her to believe that she was somewhat betrayed and to react accordingly.

But all those songs have also in common that the two persons end up together in the end.

Illicit Affairs:

The general concensus on this song is that it is about cheating.

But the meaning of the word Illicit Affair is actually: Not allowed by law OR CUSTOMS in a country.

So I think this song is her expressing how keeping her relationship a secret is hard and taxing on her.

But she still ends up the song saying that she would still do it a million times over for this person.

Hoax:

I think this one is the most important to listen closely to Taylor's and Aaron's explanations:

Aaron:

"There’s sadness, but it’s a kind of hopeful sadness. It’s a recognition that you take on the burden of your partners, your loved ones, and their ups and downs. That’s both “peace” and “hoax” to me That’s part of how I feel about those songs because I think that’s life. There’s a reality, the gravity or an understanding of the human condition.

Taylor:

"Love that isn't just easy"

"What if I'm writing about very fractured situations? Love, a business thing that really hurt and a relationship I considered like family" " I think the part that sounds like love to me is : "Don't want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do" To me that sounds like what love really IS. WHO would you be sad WITH? And WHO would you deal WITH when they were sad? Grey skies everyday for months. Would you still stay?

So Taylor is saying that Hoax is not about a breakup but about facing hard times in a relationship and being there for the other, when the person is not in a good place mentally. This ties back to This Is Me Trying too.

Peace:

Taylor explained it well in the LPSS but also in her Rolling Stone interview with Paul McCartney.

How it's about being in relationship and being scared that what you have to offer is not enough because you can't give your partner a normal life like you would like.

But she also say that she's able to achieve feeling like her life is a real life by keeping her relationship private.

She also said in that interview that while writting Folklore: "I was making Folklore, I went lyrically in a total direction of escapism and romanticism. And I wrote songs imagining I was, like, a pioneer woman in a forbidden love affair [laughs]. I was completely …"

Wich is the exact definition of their relationship since 2016.

See my Love Blackout post: (X)

I highly recommend to go read that interview, especially that part about Peace, because it's really telling. As well as the conversation they have about having children... (X)

Invisible String:

This is purely a love song.

And talks about how Taylor and Karlie had so many things tying them together even when they didn't even knew each other.

It ties back to "Your past and mine are parallel lines" from All Of The Girls.

And there's A LOT of parallel lines.

Here's a post if you are interested: (X)

The Lakes:

This one is probably the most telling song of the Album.

It talks about running away with your lover.

And in the song she says: "a red rose grew up, out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it".

Red Rose signify love.

So she is singing about her struggle with how her celebrity makes everything complicated and all that she wants to do is run away... but not without her muse.

And it's really loudly about Karlie. Here's a post (X)

My Tears Ricochet:

This one to me screams about a betrayal by a parental figure.

And I feel like it's really loudly about Scott.

"'Cause when I'd fight you used to tell me I was brave"

"And when you can't sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies"

"Wishing I'd stay"

"And your tossing out blame, drunk on this pain, crossing out the good years"

So yeah, it really feels like her talking to Scott about him selling her masters to Scooter.

Although her explanation of the song is that it's like going through a divorce and knowing exactly what to say to the other person to hurt them badly.

But it still really feels to me, like she is talking about Scot.

About being betrayed by your boss that you thought was family.

Ok that was a looong analysis. Again sorry, my post is gonna be a whole novel...

Evermore:

Champagne Problems and Coney Island:

She is still talking about feeling like she let down Karlie by being unable to put her first. Wich can lead back to whatever happened toward August in 2019.

Long Story Short:

It's the equivalent of The Great War of Midnights or the teenage love triangle of Folklore.

Going through a though time and thinking that you have somewhat been betrayed.

Being blinded by your emotions.

And realising that you got it wrong all along.

And ending up with your lover in the end.

Willow, Ivy and Dorothea are all love songs.

Evermore:

Is reminescing on what happened in 2019 and how over time she healed from it.

And the important part is that by the end you learn that her lover was by her and helped her through it.

Closure, Hapiness and Gold Rush:

Those ones are breakup songs, and could refer to the breakup in 2019. (although the 7 years in heaven in Hapiness doesn't quite fit).

But the interesting part about Evermore is that I think it was meant to give you the impression that they were not together anymore.

It was released when Karlie was pregnant with Levi.

Furthermore, It's Time To Go and Right Where You Left Me where released in January 2021 not long before Karlie gave birth.

And those song sserved as a big distraction because it got most Swifties to really think that Karlie betrayed Taylor and that they were not friends anymore.

And most gaylors to think that Karlie really broke Taylor's heart. Wich is kind of interesting when you look at all the other breakup songs beside Right Where You Left Me, Taylor seems to always feel responsible for the breakup and hurting Karlie. Except this one. But it's also the most clear breakup song of all of them.

So yeah, I do suspect that the album and mostly the deluxe version was meant to serve as a distraction to protect them and their child, and give Taylor the opportunity to really try to give Karlie a "normal" relationship out of the public eyes like she described in Peace.

Karlie as William Bowery:

Yes I do think that Karlie is William Bowery and I did a thread on Twitter about this (X)

So yeah.... here's my very very long post about why I think Karlie and Taylor are still together and what I think of Folkmore.

Sorry for the novel 😅

Thanks for sending me your questions! I hope I was able to help you understand a little bit better.

If you haven't had enough yet of me talking about my interpretations... Here's some more posts I did about them flagging after 2019 (X) (X) (X) (X)(X)

And those two are more about the babies: (X) (X)

#kaylor #gaylor #lsk #lgbetty #gaylor twitter #gaylor swift #gaylor theory #koincidences

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