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#carrie you are a national treasure never change
wexhappyxfew · 17 days
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Hi! I love your Silver Bullets girls, and Carrie x Douglass has a special place in my heart (even more since your last writing with them). So, for them I'd like to ask 35. (kissing their bruises and scars) from the Touch prompt list or 5. (the last thing they're thinking about before falling asleep is always the other) from the Subtle love list. 💗
HI FRIEND!!!! thank you so much for sending this and i am so so glad carrie and dougie have meant a lot, alongside the Silver Bullets girls (it seriously means SO MUCH and i always say it but its true!!!) THANK YOU FOR THE OPTIONS TOO!!!! i couldn't help myself and went with the second prompt (5) and decided to focus on some of their earlier meetings with one another and how they've developed into the people today. let's just say, i had a lot of fun! thank you SO MUCH!!!!! :D this was so much fun! <3 (and sorry for the wait for this....the semester was its usual chaos haha!)
greenland
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(a/n): safe to say, for my carrie x dougie enjoyers, this was FUN to write. we get a bit into life before the annie bradshaw era of silver bullets! WITH captain birdie faulkner. BUT, because i am a sucker for someone who haunts the narrative and is simply talked about, we don't actually meet birdie here, just hear about her as a leader and all (a running theme!). we also get a bit into the storyline of what dougie means when he said he wanted to ask carrie to 'dance in greenland in THIS PIECE. and also carrie's dislike for greenland lmfao. please enjoy!!! <3
Greenland was anything but green, it seemed.
Maybe that's why the Vikings called it that - to freak the living fuck out of any sort of enemy that was bound to come this way and make them mistake what was actually a stupid ice block for well - 'green land'.
The landing had been less that superb and Captain Faulkner had dismissed them all to the bar to the left of the tarmac for the rest of the evening off.
Birdie Faulkner was everything, including a realist, and she seemed to understand that the rather harrowing conditions of their landing was something that required at least a drink or two before bedding down for the night.
With a half-finished beer, Carrie was sure that she could've fallen asleep in that very chair for the time being, but she had to present herself a best she could. With the newest B-17 group collected, Silver Bullets was formulated and crafted by that oh-so-brilliant mind of Birdie Faulkner, and they all had her to thank. And Carrie had to look a bit more put-together than usual - prove she's not just a wash-out bombardier with lackluster experience. That she deserved the spot in Silver Bullets more than anyone else.
"So?" a voice came from her right, settling into the other plush, leather seat at her side, the smiling face of Bessie Carlisle appearing as she popped open her own beer bottle, "Greenland, huh?" Carrie smirked and rolled her shoulders and glanced around.
"It's cozy, really," Carrie offered, "I'm considering taking a swim in the river, suntanning-"
"Okay, smart ass," Bessie said with a chuckle, her boot nudging her own foot, "can't say I'm complaining. Finally out of those training cycles, working towards the war. Maybe, we'll actually put ourselves to use instead of waiting just to go on a practice run." Carrie watched Bessie and then smiled widely.
"Love it so much that I may tell my future husband that 'Hey, we're moving to Greenland!', pack up the truck, babe, forget Brooklyn, home is where the grass is a solid as a fucking rock," Carrie said, sipping her beer, "not to mention the weather. I love to freeze."
"Someone's happy." a new voice chimed in, as Francis settled into a chair opposite them, sucking down a portion of her beer and grinning, "I've never seen you so enthusiastic about something." Carrie deadpanned.
"I'm really jumping for joy over here, Monty." Carrie told Francis, raising her glass of beer up in mock ceremony, "You know me so well." Francis and Bessie burst out into laughter as Carrie leaned back in her chair with a sigh and looked towards the ceiling.
"When the hell are we going to England?" Carrie asked, counting the flecks of rotting wood in the wooden ceiling, her eyes tracing the pieces that stuck out of the ceiling panels before losing her spot and recounting, "If I could just get another beer started, I'd be ready by tonight to head out. No pit-stops for me, I'm just fine with a beer stop and then jetting off to England and calling it a day."
"I wish I had the same energy towards that, Bergie, I really do," Bessie said, "afraid to say I'd ask for a few hours of sleep thought over that."
"Sleeps overrated half the time!" Carrie admonished still staring up at the ceiling, "How you gonna get a thing done when sleep's-"
"Exactly what you need." Carrie blinked a few times and into focus above her head came James Douglass - fellow bombardier, with whom Bessie had introduced on one of Carrie's first days after her transfer on base.
Carrie remembered first time seeing him coming towards them, with that carpet on his face he called a mustache, a sharp smirk, a rather loud, somewhat obnoxious voice, a quick hand-shaking, before he was wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pointing out to various areas along the base like they'd been friends for years - something that had caught her completely off guard. And ever since then, with their few chance meetings, they'd been nothing but a trifle of teasing jabs and somewhat good-natured fun.
Key word: somewhat.
Because she could never actually read James Douglass unlike Benny DeMarco or Hambone Hamilton who were just about as sweet to her as her grandma's hotcakes. He'd see her and beeline, make a few jokes, flirt shamelessly, and then go dance with the next girl who'd take his hand. He was quite the character and Carrie usually didn't engage in much conversation past when he'd come to seek her out.
Except now, he was hung above her like a hyperactive golden retriever, like the dog, Kering, that had lived down the street from the Achterberg's in Brooklyn all her life. Running out of the Wilkes house anytime the door opened, barking and sniffing and tearing around the neighborhood like a lunatic. Yeah, Kering the golden retriever who looked like he was a lunatic reminded her exactly of James Douglass.
Nice to know home was never far.
"What are you trying to say, huh?" Carrie asked, still slouching in the chair and staring up at him hovering over her. Douglass grinned at her, showing off his pearly whites and that charming look on his face and he let out a chuckle.
"You know, a little sleep never hurt a soul. Only reason we're even alive," Douglass said, reaching forward to rub her shoulder, "makes the brain happy or some shit. Makes people less….cranky."
"You calling me cranky, now?"
"Cranky. Now that's just one of many words-"
"Oh, you little-"
"Alright!" Bessie said standing and shoving Douglass pack from where he currently was occupying Carrie's headspace, "Nice to know some things never change." Carrie glanced at her as she sat up and Bessie raised a brow with a smirk.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Douglass said from behind Carrie, before he moved around her chair and took the other open seat in the grouping of four, and kicking back to relax. Carrie watched Bessie before looking at Francis, who was rather interested in her cup of beer, before glancing at Douglass, who was already looking at her.
"What?" she murmured, before he made a face and she rolled her eyes.
"How was the flight over, Douglass? Invigorating?" Bessie asked Douglass, with a smile - leave it to Bessie to be sweet as cream on any given occasion.
"You woulda thought Greenland would be, well, fucking green-"
"That's what I said!" Carrie butted in, getting looks from the other three, before settling on Douglass who was watching her, with a mixture of interest and annoyance, but she couldn't seem to decipher the two and sank back in her chair, "Greenland's cold as fuck, not some East Coast paradise I'll give ya that." She heard Douglass chuckle at that as Carrie took in more sips of beer.
"With the way we were flying in, I wasn't even sure we were gonna make it at first, I'll tell you that," Douglass said, "you sit in that nose and you swear to God that you'll smash right into the tarmac. Good ole Ev Blakely don't let that sorta stuff happen though."
"Yeah, a real crap shoot." Carrie muttered, "Thought Birdie was gonna bring us in sideways." Douglass raised a brow as he sipped his beer.
"Guess you can say they lied about the fucking weather, too," Douglass offered, "really nice place here. Could barely move my fingers and toes when I actually stood up fully." Bessie let out a chuckle and started sipping her beer again as Carrie narrowed her eyes at her.
"Hey, they're putting on some music to dance, y'all wanna come?" Judy Rybinski's joyfully said as she appeared behind Francis, "C'mon Bessie, I know that look anywhere, you wanna!"
"You know me too well, Jude," Bessie said, getting to her feet and finishing off her beer.
"I'm coming with! No shot I'm missing a chance at good music and good company." Francis said getting to her feet, "The company part may be a stretch-"
"Oh c'mon!" Judy said, taking Francis' hand before looking at Carrie and Douglass unmoved in their chairs, "You two coming?"
"I'm going to continue working on these beers, Jude, but I appreciate it," Carrie said, "Greenland's officially fucked me up." Judy let out a chuckle.
"You enjoy that then, Bergie," Judy said before looking at Douglass, "Dougie?" Carrie glanced sideways at Douglass who sat quietly, before glancing over at Carrie and then Judy again.
"Maybe next time," he said with a nod, "I promise you a dance, got it?"
"Sounds good! Don't have too much fun!" Judy called before she disappeared and some Artie Shaw began playing over the speakers.
"Good to know we have one thing in common, Bergie." Carrie slowly looked over at Douglass, that annoying nickname rolling off his lips like it had before, "We both hate Greenland." And he grinned at her and couldn't help but smirk back.
"First off, don't call me that. Second, you might be right about that," Carrie said, sipping her beer again, "you know that it's called Greenland because of the Vikings?" Douglass let out a chuckle and shook his head.
"Nah, you're fucking with me," he said, "the Vikings? The guys with the horns on their heads?"
"I'm not kidding," Carrie said sitting up and fully meeting his gaze for the first time since he had hung overtop her, "I swear to you, they did it. Tricking their enemies. For the sake of how much can they fuck a person in the head." Douglass watched her for a moment, before letting out a laugh and sipping his beer again, before smirking.
"Maybe they were just being smart," Douglass countered, "before they knew that it was just one sheet of ice for miles on end. Then they realized what a shitty name Greenland was." Carrie stared at him for a moment, before smiling slightly, unable to hold back her grin.
"You really know how to get under my skin, don't ya?"
"Guess you could say I know what makes you tick."
"Oh so now you suddenly know everything about me, huh?" Carrie said, leaning over to give his shoulder a playful shove, "Well, go on, what's my favorite color?" She watched him and noticed him glance at her lips - surprisingly - before moving back to her eyes.
"I don't know….blue probably." Carrie watched him and stilled for a moment.
"Uh….yeah, actually." she said quickly, and forced down the way her cheeks flamed (and for what she didn't know), "Alright, well, where do I come from?"
"Brooklyn." Douglass said, laughing at the look on her face, "Look, sweetheart, that New York accent ain't just a voice with Southern twang. I know if I was walking down the streets, and I heard your voice, it'd be you."
"God, what the hell." murmured Carrie as Douglass chuckled, "You won't get this - school subject." Douglass looked at her and then smirked before leaning forward.
"Something with math, right?" he asked her confidently, "You don't just get interested in this sorta shit without having some interest there." Carrie watched him and tilted her head.
"Are you mind-fucking me or something?" she asked him, "How the hell-"
"Just good at reading people I guess." Douglass said with a smirk, "Contrary to popular belief, Bergie, I usually know what I'm talking about. There's a reason I'm a bombardier and not just some journalist or something." She watched him and licked her lips.
"Is that why you joined?" she asked him, "The Air Force? Flying in B-17s?" Douglass glanced at her and nodded.
"Had to join the fight somehow, couldn't just sit back and let the fucking Nazis think they could walk all over us," Douglass said, finishing his beer, "that sorta stuff just don't fly around here. Well, except us. We fly." The two burst out into laughter, before they both died down and looked to one another. For a moment, they were quiet regarding one another with somewhat hesitant gazes as Carrie finished off her beer.
"Well, I'm gonna head-"
"Did you wanna-"
They both watched each other, before breaking out into laughter and righting themselves.
"You go." Douglass said.
"I was gonna head out. Get some rest. Pretty tired." she said quickly, her heart racing as she smiled at him with a nod, "You?" Douglass stared at her and for the first time, she saw the sudden shyness in his gaze as he glanced away from her and then back.
"Just…was gonna get another drink, but you head out, get some rest," he said, before smirking at her, "you need it."
"Oh, you asshole." grumbled Carrie knocking his shoulder before standing to her feet, Douglass following suit. The stood there for a moment, looking at one another - usually, if this were a Silver Bullets girl, she'd give them a hug, but with Douglass, she felt frozen in place. She stuck out her hand instead, to shake, and he shook her hand, and she felt more awkward than ever before, as she shook back. His handshake was firm though, and confident and suddenly made her feel like some 16-year-old girl in high school and balked.
"Well, I'll see you around." she said, stumbling back a bit, "Night!" And she disappeared quickly - like she always did. She found the barracks, promptly settled into bed, and then stared at the ceiling, counting the dried pieces of wood hanging from the panels again.
And she replayed the look in James Douglass' eyes - over and over.
And for the first time in years, all she could think about was James Douglass' eyes that had watched her like that, as she tried to fall asleep.
To say the least, it was the best sleep in months.
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anantaru · 1 year
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— telling him “i'm glad i didn‘t break up with you that one time”
including scaramouche, diluc, alhaitham, kaveh x gn! reader
꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff, a little sad (kaveh's part), we‘re so evil
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— scaramouche
feathery, fluffy clouds breezily dotted the expanding sapphire blue sky as the incandescent radiant rays of eternal warmth— like fireballs, drifted across the sizzling nation of pristine wisdom.
scaramouche mellowly declined his head into your supple lap while you were indulging your trusted presence on a secluded area a bit away from sumeru city— his hair was deep tinged and glinted eminently, dark indigo locks that were lucently aglow from the smoldering sun riveting your frames.
you can still remember it vividly, the spellbound rays tottering down on your body as you nimbly closed your eyes for a second while carelessly scurrying your hand over his silky hair. It was rather comforting to him and you were aware that your boyfriend must've been immoderately drained from his taxing work load.
and by any means whatsoever, within the strong comfort of the fateful consolatory spot, a— you could say, brilliant yet a shade evil idea transited into the deepest edges of your psyche.
you pretended to listen to whatever scaramouche had to proudly talk about as your hand carried on to gladsomely delve further around his scalp, jovially motioning aimless symbols on his head.
his eyes wander shut at the closeness of you when he idly shifted the conversation into another topic, "this is fine." he speaks mousy— his breathing was fluttery and bounteous with love, yet although his voice was not lined out of lustrous silk, it did not trickle in an even consistent tone, you had treasured it nonetheless and his voice was your glaring favorite. "this— this feels fine."
that was it, the perfect timing, you suppress a devilish grin and got ready for your disguised scheme coming into wicked play, "it really is." you tried to respond in a false articulated stainless voice, "—and i'm so happy i didn't break up with you that one time."
bordering on a comical sight right under where your boyfriend was presently marveling on your lap, scaramouche had now instantly bolted up to meet your eyes in a part spread sight— but now something changed, an expression akin to filtered shock and discontent. "what?"
in all respects, he was done with his spoken words, because what made you want to break up with him in the first place? what instance in your past togetherness had been enforcing those negative, cruel emotions in you that you even thought about it?
it was a hurting, clear thought— additionally pestering him and it was more horrific than anything else pressuring his goddamn mind.
"what, what?" you silently ask beneath the lines of your regulated breathing, scaramouche never looked so lost before and you tightly bristled your lips together in an pursue to not blast your evil cover.
"what did you mean by that?" if he had to choose, scaramouche would rather have someone repeatedly run him over with a carriage than be in this clashing conversation, "you wanted to break up with me?"
to your appreciable surprise, he did not let his inner rage come to broad daylight, rather was he willing to figure out what has been going on that made you think that. Now, with the concern being all written across his pretty features, you felt as if you should come clean before he actually gets a heart attack from your wrongful play.
"tell me what i did, i will fix it—" the compression in his emotions had inflated as you snappily got a hold of his squishy cheeks, instantly cupping his face, "i'm so sorry, i'm messing with you." though you ended up awkwardly laughing with a sorrowful grin as to lighten up the damaged mood, scaramouche's mouthing took a turn— slightly dazed but also fed up, the penetrating gaze of him, previously a tone lower but now plumb with a diverting split on his lips.
"you.." the little mewl exposed more than a simple intrigue, "you will regret this." with an eye on him you leaned forward to kiss your boyfriend but scaramouche was one step ahead. He speedily took both of your wrists in his palm and dropped you on your back— making you lose stability of your body.
"oh, what's gotten into you?" he asks— innocently enough for you to believe it at first before he was puncturing specific places on your stomach, fronting matter to pinch and tickle the skin, "ah!" you cry out, whining at the burn, "i'm sorry i'm sorry!"
"don't do that anymore." scaramouche kept you on edge— exactly where he wanted you to be, "or i'll give you a taste of your own medicine."
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— diluc
inside the limits of your prevailing ventures, you so happen to find yourself nonchalantly strolling over to your boyfriends tavern— the angels share, where he was, at this time, in the midst of closing the bar after another successful night.
in related manner was it a regular practice you'd follow closely, it being to do your utmost greatest to spend as much time as possible with your primarily preoccupied partner— granted that it was centrally you both walking home and then falling asleep shortly afterwards in your shared bed, though that alone made it worth it to you.
diluc found himself greatly engaged in properly cleaning up the bar counter and putting away a bottle of unused dandelion wine as you ardently knocked on the door with your signature thumps— so he knows it's you, before letting yourself pass through.
pristinely, diluc did not have to look up to see that it was you entering the bar— for one, as mentioned prior, was it the initial bangs on the large door the both of you had originally turned a habit as a humorous joke, as well as the recognized spreading presence of you being more than enough for him to figure it out.
he composes himself as his warm eyes then, without an ounce of wavering, flicker without delay to wholly greet you with his comforting calm manner, "you're early." he reminds you, thinking out loud, each new articulation of his being thoroughly tempted out in an urged chatter— it's noticeable, how unmistakable worn out he was.
"i told you i'd come visit before you're closing the tavern." you listlessly slant back on the barstool to take a convenient seat and you lively smile at him while diluc carried on to clean a couple of the utensils that had become irksome obstacles yet shyly quelling a spiking sneer in him, unreservedly molding himself into your homely aura, "i'm glad then."
in passing, you idly watched him for a brief while until diluc unexpectedly turned to you again, catching you off guard, "oh, i have something for you." he surprisingly hummed along each new syllable and you find yourself admiring the view in front of you, his face generously shading red, "i saw them and had to take it with me."
you recollect your focus on him when diluc spoke in a charming way that sent a beguiling spike through your pounding heart before you noticed something large in his hand; a bouquet of your most beloved flowers.
his posture stiffened a little— most likely because of a miniature impale of nervousness scurrying through his flaming veins, because what if you end up not liking the well scented, thoughtful gift?
though you had loved it, of course— even more than that and as he was eyeing your reaction up close, sensing how your widened eyes coursed brilliantly as you accepted the flowers in your hands, you gaze at him in a darting loving way, tightly squeezing the bouquet in your right arm to be able to give him a hug and express your utmost gratitude to him— for him, because he simply was the best in your eyes, the most attentive boyfriend to have ever existed.
"I do hope you fancy it." his rippling skin felt comforted back in your cosy cuddle with his large hand being closely pressed on your lower back as he made you turn on him closer. "i love it."
"— and I'm so grateful i didn't break up with you that one time."
well, just hold up a second? what.
"...umm, thanks." he earned yet another eruption of laughter from you though you had roughly closed it sunkenly in you, so diluc wouldn't figure out you're actually not being serious right now, at all.
diluc— though now greatly overwhelmed but rather leaning into a more confused state of mind in terms of your sudden exclaim, manages to huff out a low sigh while bringing his attention back to you, slowly drawing himself away from your close embrace.
for a fleeting spell, you both looked into each other's eyes boundlessly astounded and bowled over— stated in a more frequent type of way; it was in actuality diluc who was looking wholly rendered at loss of words when you tried your dearest to keep your wicked giggles in check.
but then, he talks again, although pumped full with overthrowing worry in his once glowing eyes, "I'm not certain on how to appropriately tackle this conversation." he mumbles while virtually thinking out loud, "can you perhaps tell me what i did wrong so i can get better— get better for you?"
quite frankly, you couldn't take it anymore and soon your whole body was filled with great misdeed, he may not have a clue right now but in total truth you were only trying to get a glimpse of a somewhat saddened reaction out of your boyfriend— which now, might've been a little evil, though, after all, you couldn't really pass up on that perfect presented opportunity.
"you did nothing." you squeal in panic, gently placing the flowers on the bar counter to keep your attention on him, "i'm sorry i was messing with you."
you pretty much fell into his arms and diluc instantly had hugged you right back— though still in shock, his eyes growing in the size of saucers. You lied close into his shoulder and tried to lift the mood with a humane touch of your hands on his back.
"you menace." diluc reveals an adorable sigh as his chest heaved up and down, the shock still lingering deep but a smile minimally lifted at his lips when he turned to hearteningly pant out a shaky heave into your arms. "you absolute menace."
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— alhaitham
"and that’s correct." alhaitham kindly affirms towards the region of your direction while being patiently sat before your pretty eyes, fixedly gulping down the nascent saliva in his mouth to enunciate his following words, "—now to the next question."
undoubtably and much to your sweet pleasure, your boyfriend alhaitham took his current, new acquired position, awfully serious!
on the whole, he was an excellent tutor— strikingly perfect for your upcoming exam which had caused you a countless amount of sleepless nights, while he was aware of your struggles, he had put it upon himself to aid you as much as he was able to.
bizarrely to you, he was a bit too serious and stern, bound and determined while forgetting to keep it natural. Yet alhaitham understands and recognizes your strengths, turning it attainable to solicit 100% of your greatest strong point, presenting you with your highest amount of concentration to study.
"how does this look?" you ask, rather confident in your mannerism as you firmly shoved the fully scribbled paper into his close direction. He looks at it with hawk eyes and crinkles his brows a little— that being an usual trait whenever he found himself in large engrossment.
"incorrect but i didn't expect you to figure it out anyways."
unfortunately to you, alhaitham had a— let's say, interesting habit of spelling out his words before actually thinking his sentences through enough, or maybe he modestly didn't give a damn about how he was perceived or presented to the audience, didn't matter to him if the person he was talking to is a stranger or his significant other, you.
one quiet, internal thought ultimately, without sweet decorations, turned into two hellish thoughts and you had yourself wonder if you were even capable to pay him back just a little bit, in your usual, evil fashion.
"that's rude!" you falsely squeal out, fearing he may have a clue on your new doings right away as you dramatically drew your hand above your heart to act out a pain in your chest.
"you asked — i answered." you could clearly see he didn't think his wording was incorrect or maybe a minuscule portion grating, so you decided to sprinkle a little sass on him, "you're right and i'd be lost without you." your eyes innocently trail to his face, "i'm so grateful you're helping me study."
you were on the verge of exploding, really, the tempting laugh was overfilling your insides but you pushed through, ending your sentence at last, "— but i'm even more grateful to myself that i didn't break up with you that one time."
alhaitham quirks a brow but did not face you right away, did you want to argue with him? or were you trying to be funny again? because speaking from past lived occasions, he wasn't new to you pulling one of those particular intrigues at him.
well, then again, what if it wasn't a tasteless, blundering joke? what if, you were serious this time, honestly would he even blame you? after all, alhaitham knew himself better than anyone else did.
"so, a break up?" he leans back into his chair before crossing his arms around his body, slowly eyeing you from your eyes, to your collarbones and back again. "mhm." you agree with a hum, although both of you being sat, he was easily towering over you with his stance alone, only making you fuse further into yourself.
"and when?" in fact, he will not let this die down, he will manage to get everything he required out of you while barely leaving you to gasp for air.
you wonder if he had already figured it out (he did), your eyes skimming over the entire table to bring your heedfulness somewhere else. "umm, i don't know!" the comedic side of it all was extremely whimsical to your boyfriend— and his plan to lure you into where he wanted you to seem to succeed as well.
"look at me." that damned voice change, nothing that you cannot withstand, nothing but that precise grab his gravelly tone color had on you.
right there, you met his doubtless, assertive eyes, unshaken in his own views. alhaitham unhurriedly leans forward into the table while holding eye contact with you, you're watching him, waiting for chaos to unfold or him laughing at how silly it was for you to even try to fool him.
"maybe next time you get lucky." he quickly wipes his tongue over his mouth, "do you know that you're really bad at acting? it's rather comical watching you try."
heavily exhaling the stored air in your strained lungs, you, wholly fed up with him, rolled your eyes at your oh so confident boyfriend who just didn't know when to keep his mouth sealed tight, "oh shut up!"
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— kaveh
love and enchantment, a formidable devotion for another, highly arising out of real personal ties and notable attraction.
for kaveh, those meanings were everything and all, the totality all at once.
beyond a trace of a single doubt, it was unmistakable visible on just how much immeasurable energy and serious effort your boyfriend put into having your blossoming relationship as uplifting, easing and heart warming as possible.
you're his absorbing soulmate and his riveting gratitude and love for you— which he most definitely conveys through those honeyed, dreamy smiles on his plump lips, were sticking out a mile.
from all accessible appearances, one might as well pick up on the nurturing connection that is shared by you lovebirds and how kaveh would always come up with newfound actions to have it shown to everyone in many different varieties.
tonight, it was outside of sumeru city— on top of a idyllic meadow, with the boundless sky being set ablaze by the setting sun right above you, soon to follow was the pale, ashen crescent turned moon, vividly luminous like a silvery claw and fuck, that glittering glow in your eyes as you watched from afar, kaveh wasn't sure if he could fall in love with you even deeper than he already was.
"this is so pretty." the fresh feeling of your body thoughtlessly sloping back into the consoling ground locked out each and every paining worry from your gladdening thoughts.
"i knew you'd like it, i just knew—." kaveh keeps himself from embarrassingly tumbling over his own spoken words, his nails now clawing into his palms and leaving marks— it might've been the nervousness, he fears, although you both had been together for a good while he can catch himself quite frequently becoming shy in his mannerism.
but his phraseology meant nothing, his passing wordage, blank.
there could be sure up to a million and one descriptions to intently describe this current moment happening yet nothing would ever explain it how he saw it, how he perceived you.
aside from that, you also breathed fresh life into his somewhat monotone one, with your sneaky intrigues keeping him on edge the whole time.
"this was a good idea." you're revealing a soft glare to him, a hidden one that from the outside, appeared to be angelic and endearing, though from the inside— salted away an evil plan that was camouflaging your entire mind for the whole day.
call it stowed up curiosity or simple boredom of your person, but you cannot keep yourself from passing up on it, longing to witness kaveh leaving his protective, calming bubble for once in a while.
sure, obviously, he could get mad at you, aggravated or purely stare at you through dead, saddened eyes, but then you'd always be there to make it up to him, in your own charming ways.
kaveh plushly lays on the warm ground before idly securing one of his hands under his head, uncaringly bolstering himself up, "this reminds me of something." you suddenly claim in the direction of your lover so he can hear you, no matter what, "of what?"
in the general run of things you couldn't help yourself but smile at how quick kaveh could get fascinated or absorbed on a random topic you unhurriedly throw into his course of line— no care in the world on what it was, but if you don't tell him and keep the desired answers away, he'd regularly think about it, day on day, until you do end up saying it out loud— which you then, do. "ah, it's nothing!"
"— i'm just glad i didn't break up with you that one time, you know?"
.. silence ..
"..."
"..."
"..."
"kaveh?"
"..."
you might enquire some sort of exclaim or wonder now, did he pass out or? no silly, of course not! it did feel like he was about to suffer from a large heart attack though.
"b-break up?" he soundlessly mutters, panic, immense panic, if he can afford to say anything coherent at all but he was as still as a mouse, indistinct, until ..
"as in, breaking up? a BREAK up?!"
"oh it's nothing." you hushedly wave your hand in front of his anxious face, without concern leaving yourself to fall back and carry on to glimpse up at the moonlight sky.
"what do you mean n o t h i n g?"
"this is tERRIBLE." - "utterly TERRIBLE." deficient panic pitifully munched on your boyfriends entire being, deeply festering itself into the pitched shadows of his now darkened heart.
"wait please stop." your words did not hit him, it's like he turned himself on autopilot, his eyes large as he looked into the distance, muttering something underneath his pebbly pants which you couldn't decipher what he was babbling over. "it's a joke, please look at me."
no because maybe you did go too far and after encircling your arms around kaveh's body you held him close to you, so the repeated knocks of your heart could be sensed by him.
"i'm sorry i will never do this again." you are met with his— now glassy laced, scarlet eyes, not once does he speak anymore, because quite frankly, for a second he was scared to his very core, in a frenzy, because life without you, is no life at all, no substantial vitality.
but then, a tone of him, irregular and broken, "don't do this." - "again."
you mildly wipe the warm tears off his face and lovingly keep a couple kisses on his forehead— left cheek, right cheek, his cute nose and ultimately finished your sweet attention on his soft lips— that always tasted like roses and felt so tender on top of yours, easily crawling yourself into his lap.
"i'm sorry, i love you and i'd never break up with you, ever."
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irafuwas · 15 days
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Love that Lets Go Summary: Lilia Vanrouge has witnessed the rise and fall of great nations, has criscrossed the world, traversing distant realms strange and unknown, but never before in his life has he faced a challenge as grievous as this: parenting a teenager. Or: Silver stops calling Lilia "Papa", and Lilia loses his mind. Content Warnings: blood, explicit language, contains depictions of animals being hunted and butchered, canon divergent Pairings: There's like one reference to past Lilibaul, but otherwise, none. Length: 38k (Header artwork from here)
You can either read it after the cut or on AO3!
A/N: I began working on this fic last summer, right after I finished Electric Dreams, and was able to complete the general outline and write about a third of it before I promptly abandoned the project for over half a year. By the time I started working on it again this past January, Book 7 had progressed greatly on the JP server, and pretty much everything that I'd written regarding Lilia's background and his involvement in Mal's upbringing/their relationship had become uncanonical in the meantime ://// I decided to go ahead and keep those parts in the story unchanged from how I had them last summer, partly so I wouldn't have to rework the plot, and mostly because I am lazy. So the setting is more or less the same as the game, but with some major changes in Lilia and Mal's pasts, with no major Book 7 JP server spoilers for those wishing to avoid them.
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I.
It was a speculative day, the kind that could not fix upon a proper humor or color, hesitating in turns between the brilliant bustle of spring and the sultry lull of summer. The morning air was thin and cool, not unusual even that late in May, but several months would pass by that afternoon, so that a sticky July heat would descend upon the valley once the sun reached its zenith. In the evening, there would be a light rain. All this the boy Silver calculated as he stepped outside.
The sky above him was a perfect meadow of morning glory and larkspur, bordered by a flourish of honeysuckle and cockscomb as golden-red as amber sap. He thrust his hand high above him, wishing for a moment he could pluck one of the dandelion clouds from its indigo plot and press it for his collection. It would be his secret treasure, and he would not reveal it until his friend Sebek next designed to inflame him. He carried within his mind a catalog of every expression and shade his friend could take, and this he now opened and paged through while he wandered towards the pig pen and lean-to that stood opposite his home, contemplating what combination of flush and scowl the other boy would respond with. He smiled at his private entertainment while he walked.
He was one of the few beings awake on that land. An industrious blackbird chirped quietly off in the distance, but the surrounding forest was otherwise silent, the pine trees and giant firs still dozing in the early morning shade. He was not, however, lonely; nor was he in want of more. His heart was light, and it gently thrummed with the same anticipation that had slipped into the hearts of all the valley’s creatures as of late, just as the sunlight slipped into their skin. May was an in-between month, an intermission, a time for Nature to enter her great chrysalis and prepare for the summer months to come. She would re-emerge sometime in late June, the earth’s prodigal daughter carrying in her arms the red-ripe wildberries she’d hang in the thicket all around him, the bright yellow coreopsis and vetch of the softest pink she’d set down in the meadow near his home, and the pearl white blossoms she’d drape across the canopies of the sweet bay beyond the fields. And she would beguile, too, the whip-poor-wills into beginning their annual summer serenades, allowing the robins and the orioles to retire from their heraldic duties at last, having spent several weeks announcing the season prior.
“There are two summers,” his father had once explained to him years ago, when he was very small. He held up two fingers while he spoke. “There’s the summer that starts on June 1st every year. That one’s based on dividing the calendar into four periods of three months each.”
“Three months each,” the little boy repeated with a nod.
“And then the other summer, the real one, starts on the solstice.”
“When’s the solstice, papa?”
“Easy,” the man grinned, “it’s when summer starts!”
The boy memorized this and all his father’s other teachings as his catechisms, and he knew, based on his observations, and based on all he'd ever learned from his masters - his father and the stars and the entire natural world around him - that the solstice was but a few short weeks away. This knowledge captivated him, and when he awoke at twilight each morning, he would spend a few minutes lying completely still in bed, nearly holding his breath, listening for those first few notes of the whip-poor-will’s call.
After releasing the animals from their detainment, he watched as the small procession of cows and pigs and chickens trod dutifully into the adjoining pasture. He would wait to fill their troughs later; each creature would automatically find for itself its morning fare amongst the acres of dew-wet grass – on this day the milk cow and her calf selected a patch of dark green clover for their breakfast, and the pigs beside them dined noisily on tall stalks of chicory, their pink brows misting over with sweat as they feverously chewed. The chickens, however, quickly stumbled upon a single, tender petunia they had overlooked all month. Gathered around the shining lilac jewel, they could not decide who amongst them would be permitted to destroy it. A forum was immediately convened, with each hen arguing her case in turn, and Silver gathered their eggs while they debated. Their hues were as soft and as delicate as a watercolor wash; some were tawny brown and speckled, others a faded green or blue. They reminded him of river stones, and they felt as smooth as clay in his work-worn hands. Each one he gingerly wiped against his pant leg before depositing into his wicker basket.
He had, for a time, believed – largely due to his father’s persuasions – that a bird’s diet determined the color of its eggs, and he’d spent one summer collecting armfuls of nasturtium, cone flowers, and bright red peonies every single day from the meadow by their home, attempting to invent an egg as ruby red as his father’s eyes. But while the chickens had delighted in their daily carmine feast, his efforts proved fruitless, the egg shells failing to develop even the slightest indication of a blush. When the truth of his father’s scheme was revealed later that fall, Silver had not rebuked him. He'd only blamed himself for being deceived, and for neglecting to include some beautyberries and rosehips into his mix, secretly believing that this was the true genesis of his failure.
The chickens resolved their quarrel by the time his basket was full. In celebration, he scattered a few handfuls of scratch over the ground for them. The bits and pieces of grain could not have delighted the small party more even if it had been the rice thrown for nuptials, and Silver turned and left them to their devices.
On slow days, when he had little else to do but drink in the air and watch the sun move across the sky, he liked to sit in the pasture and listen to them talk. The tall grass would form four walls all around him, and the hens would often come sit next to his verdant cabinet, offering to him their confessions through the screen of sorghum and fescue. They were perfect in their gesticulations, and he particularly enjoyed the mechanical way they moved their heads; it was as though invisible strings were jerking them this way and that, moving not unlike the marionettes his father had once brought home on one of his travels. There was, overall, a hilarity to their character that he missed in his other animal companions – the cows were too listless, he thought; the pigs, too cavalier.
The pigs he favored the least. He had helped his father erect a new fence along the south side of their property last summer, working sun up to sun down for over a week, and it had taken only a single afternoon for one of the boars - newly purchased with money his father didn’t have to spare - to rip a hole through the wire mesh and lead his brethren into the open forest, never to be seen again. He had been with his father the morning the vandalism was discovered. It was one of the few times in his life he’d seen the man angry, and he had been unsympathetic towards the species ever since.
He glanced at them occasionally while he backtracked to the vegetable garden beside the cottage, quickly looking away when they returned his stare. He walked around the fence that protected the garden, giving it a cursory inspection before stepping inside. There hadn’t been any break-ins yet, but he had noticed the shallow, hoof-like indentations that would sometimes manifest in the soil around the gate, and he could tell, too, that something heavy had been pressing itself against the fence posts lately, evinced by the unnatural angles a number of them were now inclined. However, the pigs defended their innocence with a brazen confidence that stupefied even his father, and the animals had so far been spared of any further interrogation.
He entered the gate and filled the watering can sitting by the pump. The alternating rows of green and orange and red and yellow buds dotting the area convened into a checker pattern, as though one of Ma Zigvolt’s gingham dresses had been spread out over the ground. He carefully stepped over and around and in between every sprout and seedling, dancing, almost, as he worked through each row, providing only just as much water to the young plants as they demanded, pausing only when he reached the tomatoes. His father was severely particular about them, fussing over the vines like a sculptor would his block of clay, and would, at the end of every season, declare that he had grown the "best tomatoes this side of the valley", but as he was one of few fae who grew them, and perhaps the only one who enjoyed their tart taste, his countrymen gladly indulged him in his boasting. Silver tilted his watering can and aimed the stream into the soil around the base of the plants, avoiding the foliage as he’d been instructed. He hummed to himself as he continued his ministrations, his thoughts drifting brightly towards the harvest to come.
Soon, there would be fresh corn pone and hoe cakes and yellow squash fritters fried in pools of marble white pork fat, heaping bowls of piping hot green beans sauteed in pats of golden yellow butter, and tender, fresh baked apple dumplings topped with a creamy homemade vanilla glaze, all washed down with the coldest, sweetest lemonade the valley had to offer. And he and his father would make preserves – of everything; jams and jellies from the wild raspberries and blueberries they’d gather from the forests, and from the bushels of strawberries now growing in their garden, and they’d pickle cucumbers and beets and radishes and fennel and bell peppers and cabbage; the tiny root cellar under their home would transform into a museum over the summer - its shelves filled to the brim with rows upon rows of glass jars containing their colorful fermented treasures, with giant slabs of dark red elk meat and pale pink sausage links hanging from the hooks lining the ceiling, and pounds of wild-caught bass and catfish curing in salt baths on the floor, nearly every specimen in that small space a self-contained microcosm of bacterial delight.
Silver was not one to favor any season over another; he found pleasure in the flora and fauna of his surroundings all year round. But so long as his father was strictly supervised in the kitchen, it was summer fare that delighted him more than anything else, and he wished every day for the watermelon and the strawberries to ripen faster, and for the honeybees to finish constructing their summer combs.
A pine warbler’s sharp trill snapped the boy out of his daydreams. The sun had at last emerged above the umber line of the horizon, and the golden edges of the sky were rapidly fading into a soft baby blue. The land was rapidly beginning to awaken. He could hear the low drone of the honeybees as they pushed past him on their way to the meadow, and the goldfinches warming up for their morning performances in the forest yonder. He hurried to complete the rest of his chores, invigorated by a mixture of excitement and hunger and still that same dull throb of anticipation in his heart.
When he was finished at last, Silver lay down on the grass, tucking himself under the blanket of fog that hung low over the ground. He could hear only the cows lowing and the chickens murmuring and the wind brushing up against the pine trees. And if he lay still enough, he could hear even the earth itself breathing. If he pressed his ear against the damp soil, he could hear the planet exhale, could hear the molecules of water vapor rising through the air, lifting themselves off the slick blades of grass, unifying and condensing into the wave of fog that rolled across his body. His world was now perfect. And it remained perfect for half an hour longer, until his father threw open the cottage door and called him inside for breakfast.
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The air grew warmer and warmer as the morning languidly transitioned into afternoon. Pleased that his prediction had been correct, he suggested to his father, Lilia, that they begin making their way to the Zigvolt's before it grew too hot, and the man agreed. The mass of burnt scrambled eggs his father had prepared for breakfast still festered heavily in Silver's stomach, and he quickly wolfed down a plain butter sandwich and an apple for lunch. His gangly body could get by on very little, and the Zigvolts always had refreshments at the ready, anyways. He grabbed his knapsack from his room and accompanied his father out the door. Together, they followed the dirt path that led from the clearing into the forest.
Lilia had settled down there decades prior, appearing in the neighboring town one day with little more to his name than a few gold coins in his pocket and a raggedy shawl strewn across his back. He'd been a drifter for decades, having retired from the local military under circumstances he never cared to divulge, and while some of the townsfolk were glad to welcome him home, most others thought him a stranger. A pack of these skeptics descended upon him one evening, cornering him in the run-down hostel where he'd been temporarily residing. They poked and prodded him with their questions, asking him why he had left and where he'd been to and why he'd now suddenly returned, at times turning away to whisper amongst themselves, as though evaluating a head of cattle. To each of their scathing rebukes he simply replied, "Doesn't matter anymore." He repeated those three words like a mantra, like a prayer to exorcize the specters gathered around his bed. His defense was as solid as a leaden curtain, soundly deflecting each and every one of the inquisitors' attacks, and when they finally scattered that night, rendered stupefied by their defeat, Lilia gathered up his sparse few belongings and vanished amongst them.
He ultimately bought his property from a man who'd recognized the name "Lilia Vanrouge", but not the mysterious little creature attached to it. The landowner was however only glad to finally rid himself of the place; it had been sitting vacant for years, long overgrown with its own miniature forest of brambles and weeds, and he was easily dismissed with what little money Lilia had to offer. There was a dilapidated cottage the last tenants had left behind, as well as the rotting remnants of a barn that hadn't been touched in ages, and the water pump, rusted over from decades of unuse, snapped in half the first time Lilia tried to use it.
He began making renovations immediately. He patched up the roof on the cottage and spent a week removing all the cobwebs and rat nests he could find inside. He cleared out the overgrowth suffocating the area and tore down the old barn, erecting a lean-to for his cows and a coop for his hens in its place. He sectioned off a small plot of land next to his house for a vegetable garden, and sowed his new fields with the fervor of a devotee. Decades of working the land yielded a soil heartier and more robust than anything the locals ever seen, as though the very earth itself was repaying him in kind for liberating it from its long imprisonment. His tomato plants bore him perfect rubies bigger than his fists. His corn and his wheat stood like giants, towering high above his head. He found his heart lifting up and growing lighter and lighter together with the green stalks soaring up into the sky. All these things slowly grew in tandem with his household - he'd added another wing to the cottage when he took in Silver, and the garden, having more than tripled in size since it was first built, now produced a far greater variety of colorful fare than Lilia could have ever imagined. It was, in all, a meager living - a little home with little in it, the glass jar of rainy day funds sitting above the fireplace never to be full, always repairs around the property to be made, always hand-me-down clothes and toys to be mended - but it was enough for the man and his child, regardless.
When Silver grew older, Lilia began letting him operate the homestead on his own when he went traveling, a leisure he'd picked up in his older age. He would leave Silver a list of rules to follow and projects to work on while he was gone - in addition to his regular everyday chores - which he adjusted for each season, such as chopping firewood in the winter, and making preserves in the summer. But above all, no matter the time of year, and barring an emergency, he absolutely forbade Silver from leaving their land. Lilia had marked off a boundary for him years ago: the river to the west, a felled oak tree to the north, the meadow to the south, and the base of the nearby mountain range to the east. Lilia trusted his son, minimally, to the extent he had no doubt the boy could procure the food and water needed to keep himself alive when left alone. But the mountains and the deep forest and even the castle town he did not trust, didn’t believe in the sincerity of the light that flooded the silent earth bordering their home.
Five miles separated the Vanrouge’s homestead from the Zigvolt’s home. Five miles that cut through the forest that extended far beyond Lilia’s land. As such, Lilia would supervise his son's travels to and from his friend’s home. They only ever walked - teleportation magic gave Silver extreme vertigo, and Lilia found his powers could no longer cover the long distance as easily as in his youth. But it was a pleasant journey, and the pair quietly admired the same mass of towering pine and spruce trees they'd admired hundreds of times before as they continued down the winding road. The forest was handsome in its late spring attire, adorned in a thick flush of bright green foliage, and the charming white faces of the star flowers and wood anemones peeked at them from amongst the undergrowth as they passed by. Overhead, a symphony of chaffinch and dunnock calls accompanied the gentle stir of the treetops brushing against each other in the wind.
Silver often called on the Zigvolt’s. The youngest of the three children, a boy named Sebek, was the only non-animal companion he had his age. They had first met a number of years prior, when Sebek apprenticed under Silver's father, and while their rivalry had been immediate, their friendship had formed only slowly, over years of tense acquaintanceship. Sebek had held a grudge against Silver since the day they’d met, or possibly longer - that much Silver had been able to determine, but he could never puzzle out what he’d done to injure him so. He was frequently agitated - over Silver’s abilities, his actions, the clothing he wore, the way he walked and the way he talked. He was “wound up tighter than an eight-day clock”, as his father would often laugh. Had Silver grown up interacting with more children his age, had he an index against which to measure his friend’s volatile attitude, then he would have understood that Sebek was simply a very immature boy – he’d not yet outgrown his foot-stamping tantrums and his jealous remarks, but there was never any true venom behind his words, only that primal, juvenile desire to convince himself and the adults around them that he and Silver were equals. But Silver liked him, at any rate; there was only so much one could do to persuade a rabbit or a songbird to gambol with one, or to explore make-believe worlds that stretched far beyond their animal imaginations, and Sebek was as eager a daydreamer as he. Even a child’s heart can be a guarded thing, as Silver’s was, having matured in a world comprised of only a small handful of faces and an even smaller stretch of land, but he’d long placed Sebek in that corner of his heart only his father and Malleus and the blue birds and honeysuckle otherwise occupied, and he cherished his friend for his outbursts and rare affections, both.
It was an “off day” for the boys - neither had any training exercises scheduled, and Silver looked forward to their rendezvous. He figured they'd be spending most of the afternoon outside, in light of the pleasant weather. Later in the summer, when the heat would spoil their entertainment, they'd move indoors, reading comics and old almanacs together in the Zigvolt's parlor, sprawled out like a pair of lazy tomcats on the cool hardwood floor. And if he was lucky, Ma Zigvolt would invite him to stay for dinner (he was always too shy to ask). She was one of his strongest allies, and had rescued him from his father’s well-meaning meals on more than one occasion. He kept his fingers crossed as he walked, hoping she and Pa Zigvolt wouldn't be staying late at the dental clinic they operated.
Once they entered the deepest part of the forest, Lilia cleared his throat, signaling that he was about to speak. Silver braced himself. His father was a habitually cheerful and easygoing man, able to make merry with nearly anyone that crossed his path, but the man's good humor came at the cost of his interlocutor's, at times.
First, Lilia asked what plans he had with Sebek for that afternoon.
"Not much."
Lilia shrugged off the curt response. They'd crossed several miles already, and the afternoon heat was prickling at his fair skin. He chastised himself for neglecting to bring a hat. He next asked, smiling broadly this time, hoping both to coax his son and to take his mind off the heat, if Silver was excited for all the fresh vegetables they'd soon be harvesting from their garden.
"I guess."
Still not discouraged, Lilia dispatched his probes once more, asking if Silver had any requests for dinner, and whether he'd read or heard anything interesting lately, but the boy deflected each one with a “Yes”, or a “No”, or an “I don’t know”. Silver had recently discovered that the briefer he kept his answers, the quicker he could get his father to stop talking, and this observation proved itself true once more, the man quitting his examination a few moments later. A feeling of discomfort prickled at his skin as the heat did his father's; the perfection of that morning a few short hours ago now seemed to him like a distant memory. They walked the rest of the way in silence.
By and by, the dirt road transitioned into a gravel walkway, and the Zigvolt’s farmhouse at last came into view. It was a noble building - tall and spacious, constructed from dense heart pine lumber, the eggshell white finish still shining brightly after so many years, with a towering red brick chimney that rivaled the surrounding cottonwood trees in their noble height. An amber light glowed softly from one of the windows. Silver and Lilia stopped before the stairs leading up to the front of the wraparound porch, where a clothesline heavy with freshly washed bed sheets rocked gently in the breeze. Ma Zigvolt was known to perfume her wash, and sunny notes of bergamot drifted down to them in waves.
The pair said their goodbyes, but when Lilia leaned forward to kiss the boy’s cheek, Silver moved away, ducking and turning around so quickly that Lilia stumbled as he fell through the empty air. He steadied himself hastily, his arms whirling for a moment before plummeting to his sides, his puckered lips collapsing into a frown. The rejection stunned him. His mind hastily reassembled and played back the insult it had just witnessed, finally ascertaining after the third repetition that he had not just been struck.
Wide-eyed, he croaked, “Silver?”
The boy took a step towards the house, his back turned to Lilia. “I’ll see you later,” he grunted, as though struggling under the weight of his father’s heavy gaze. And then he stormed up the porch, threw open the front door, and disappeared inside without a second glance.
Lilia stared imploringly at the silent house, but it offered him no answers. He shook his head and sighed. “The hell’s been going on with him lately?”
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Sebek’s older sister Iris emerged onto the back porch carrying a tray of milk and pound cake. She set the tray on a small table by the door and began arranging the glasses and plates. She’d been away from home the past year, busy with her university studies, but had returned for the summer. Her absence had been difficult for the family – for Sebek most of all. 
Though he was now the apple of her eye, Iris had been opposed to the idea of a younger brother at first. She’d spent the first few months of her mother’s pregnancy curled up against the low swell of her belly, regaling the child - her new little sister - with all the fantastic plans she had in store for the two of them. But when her parents returned from a doctor’s appointment one day, a set of grainy monochrome photographs in hand, and they announced the baby was, in fact, a boy, she felt the faceless black thing staring up at her from the pictures had betrayed her. She staunchly refused to address her mother’s stomach for the rest of the pregnancy.
Ultimately, Sebek entered the world as an absolute bear of a baby, all rolls and dimples and folds and milk white skin that smelled as sweet as honey. The first time Iris saw him, he was dozing open-mouthed, lying curled up on the pillow of his mother’s breast. He looked like a dollop of pure butter, and with that single glance the girl was thoroughly convinced of his perfection.
As the baby matured, growing conscious of himself and of the world around him, his burgeoning mind, incredibly receptive to every new stimulus that entered his environment, quickly took note of his sister’s eager affections, and it wasn’t long until he ascertained that his incapability was the trick to his own allure. A halfhearted grumble would earn him a kiss, for example; a miserable wail, liberation from his crib. It was almost cunning, the way he’d play the fool for her, wrapping her tighter and tighter around his plump little finger with every feigned ineptitude he devised. “Oh, Sebby!” Iris would laugh, scooping his doughy mass into the cradle of her arms when he'd whine to be held. “You’re just a helpless little thing, aren’t you?” And the baby would bat his cub paws at her and smile his gummy smile, as if to say, “Just you wait and see!"
When their brother Horace, the eldest of the three siblings, moved into his own apartment in the castle town a few years ago, Sebek had been secretly pleased, for their mother now looked to him for help with splitting firewood and mending the fences and tilling the garden. He knew his father could not be entrusted with such things - Linus Zigvolt was a kind and good man, but he was also foolish. And boring. And unforgivably human. Sebek’s mother and his sister - and his grandfather, when the man was in an affable mood - were the center of his juvenile universe. His father and brother merely orbited them. And whereas Horace’s departure had been no more noteworthy to him than the changing of the seasons, his sister had taken with her a sense of stability he still hadn’t grown accustomed to living without.
She was a tall, muscular girl, with a broad, handsome face that was rimmed by the family’s trademark scales. A star member of her school's track and field team, she had recently broken the district's shot put record, a fact which her parents and grandfather had been proudly mentioning at least once every day since. Although soft-spoken, like her father, she was also in possession of a tongue as caustic as her mother’s, and more than one naïve suitor had abandoned his endeavors a much meeker man than when he’d met her. Her long, green hair was bundled in two intricate fishtail braids that trailed down her back – a style popular amongst valley girls her age – and she brushed away a loose strand from her face as she straightened out the napkins. Her mind dimly registered that she'd need to schedule a trim before returning to school.
Content with her work, Iris turned to the garden and cupped her hands around her mouth, shouting, “Sebby! Silver! I brought you guys some snacks!”
The boys rose from behind the jumble of cardboard boxes they’d been working on taping together. They raced each other to the porch, politely offering Iris their thanks as they sat down at the table. Silver gingerly cut into his cake, careful not to scatter any crumbs. Iris had always thought of him as bird-like, with his wiry frame, and his too big head that hung so awkwardly from the end of his long crane neck, and she was struck once again at his meagerness as he pecked at his meal.
After observing them for a few moments, she asked, “Why’d you drag all those boxes into the yard for, anyways?”
“That’s – I mean – ‘Tis our fortress!” Sebek explained between mouthfuls of cake. “We’re defending our home from those wretched ne’er-do-wells yonder!” He pointed towards the garden with one hand and shoveled another piece of cake into his mouth with the other.
Iris followed the line of Sebek’s outstretched finger. Beyond its glaze-covered point lay a pair of rabbits, lazily nibbling on a patch of grass by the boxes.
“Ooh, so you guys are playing pretend again?” She smiled as she put her hands on her hips. “Are you knights this time? Do you want me to be, like, your damsel in distress again or whatever?”
Sebek’s face reddened. “Sissy, stop it!”
Iris laughed and pinched his cheek. He resigned limply.
“Don’t worry, I won’t interrupt your little fun.” She turned away, and then added, “I’ll be in my room, so just shout if you need anything.”
Sebek huffed as his sister closed the door behind her. He scrunched up his round little face and balled his fists. His cheeks were permanently ruddy, flushing darker or lighter depending on his level of agitation, and it was clear by their scarlet hue that Iris's words had hurt him. Silver pushed his empty plate away and stood up.
“Come on, Sebek,��� he sighed, rubbing the other boy’s back placatively. “You can be the General of the Right this time. I’ll ask some birds and rabbits to be the townspeople, and you can come save us.”
Often, Silver’s ability to brush off any injury with the placidity of a rock would only inflame Sebek’s rage further, but he permitted his friend to coax him back into the garden. As he watched Silver recruit a regiment of forest creatures for their schemes, he decided there was fairness in the world yet.
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Baul Zigvolt was dozing in his rocking chair when Lilia returned that evening. He was perhaps the progenitor of his family members' incredible statures. His wife had been a modest woman, of average height and unremarkable in her build, but he in turn was a veritable mountain of muscle and hardened flesh, so massive that the top of Lilia’s head just barely reached the enormous blocks of his shoulders. He was squeezed into his chair rather than sat upon it, and the wood groaned threateningly as he rocked. The family’s only pet, an equally massive black tomcat with a lone white spot on the tip of its tail, was sprawled comfortably by his feet. The creature was as lazy as it was amiable, having not once dispatched any of the vermin that made merry of its owners’ grain stores, but the children were so enamored with its corpulence that their parents could not bear to rehome it. It shared with Baul a passion for evening naps, and neither of them stirred as Lilia approached.
The two men had served in the Imperial Guard together for centuries, and though they’d stepped down from their posts and re-entered civilian life ages ago, having both established households and produced children, and were now enjoying all the slow pleasures of retirement, Baul still offered advisory services to the Guard on a voluntary basis. The truth of Lilia’s retirement, however, had never been fully absorbed into the folds of Baul’s brain, and he continued to address his erstwhile superior as “General” at their every meeting. “It’s just a bad habit!” he’d defend himself sheepishly when rebuked. But he would soon disremember his error, and would, in the next breath, refer to Lilia by his long-vacated position once again.
“Hello, Baul.” Lilia dipped his head in greeting.
“Evening, General,” Baul murmured, slowly blinking his eyes open with a yawn. “You come to get your boy?”
“Yes, do you know where he is?”
Baul leaned forward and jabbed his thumb behind him. “Yeah, he and Seb are playing out back.” He settled back into his chair and closed his eyes again, opening them once more a second later. “Oh, and while you’re at it, could you tell Seb he needs to get home before nightfall?”
“Oh?” Lilia raised an eyebrow. “That’s quite unlike you to worry about him,” he replied with a smirk.
“Hell if I care!” Baul huffed, crossing his arms. “We’ve been seeing bear tracks around here lately, and I don’t want him to come crying to me if he runs into one of the dumb bastards. That’s all.”
“I see, I see,” Lilia laughed. He reached out and stroked the cat’s head, cocking his own head as he did so. "Well, I don't hear them close by. Can I wait here until they come back? They're probably off playing in the woods somewhere."
Baul huffed again. "I certainly wouldn't mind any if you'd like to take a seat."
Lilia stepped onto the porch and lowered himself into the chair across from Baul with a groan. He was occasionally stricken with bouts of rheumatism, and the frequent trips to and from the Zigvolt’s that year had been taking their toll. Baul raised an eyebrow as Lilia pawed at his back, but made no comment on the subject, electing instead to remark on how nice the weather had been lately, and how excited his grandkids were to go swimming in the river that weekend. Lilia offered in turn the latest updates on his own son. The men exchanged these little stories about their children and grandchildren as passing travelers exchanged their wares. They would file away each anecdote into their hearts for safekeeping, and take them out later to smile at when left alone.
Their habitual pleasantries concluded, Lilia asked Baul if he'd noticed anything unusual about Silver that afternoon.
"Unusual?" Baul frowned. "In what way?"
"Ahh, was he..." Lilia searched for the right word. "Quiet at all?"
Baul scoffed. "He's always quiet. Never met a child made so little noise in my life. I always wondered how he turned out like that, being raised by a loudmouth like you."
"Hey!" Lilia frowned.
"Hah! Sorry, sorry," Baul replied with a laugh, throwing up his hands in defense. "But I mean, other than that, only thing I noticed is the kid's been growing like a weed lately. Guess that's one more thing where you don't have to worry he'll take after you. Heh."
Lilia paid no heed to his baseless fibbing, and instead concentrated his thoughts towards one of his oldest pleasures: finding ways to agitate Baul. He never wished to start any real fights, but was simply possessed by the natural urge to tease him, as a child might like to prod a sleeping bear. Baul found the topic of his son-in-law particularly sensitive, and Lilia grinned as he formulated his attack.
"And how's dear Linus? I heard from Silver the clinic's been pretty busy lately."
Lilia's ploy worked immediately. A vein throbbed on Baul's forehead. "That human is fine, far as I know."
"As far as you know?" Lilia looked at him quizzically. "Aren't you here almost everyday? When's the last time you spoke with him?"
"Hell if I know. I don't give a damn what he has to say."
Lilia rolled his eyes. "Will you ever get over yourself?"
"No!" Baul grunted automatically, flushing hot red once he understood Lilia's insult. "The hell's that even supposed to mean! General!"
Lilia laughed. "Oh, come on! Why can't you just cut him some slack already? I still can't believe he agreed to take your last name like you wanted, with the way you treat him."
"Hmph! One of the few things he's done right by me."
Like so many of his fae brethren, Baul did not favor humans. He and Lilia had witnessed their evils firsthand during their time in the service, and they had watched, powerless, as so many of their friends and comrades, so many of their hopes and dreams and aspirations were crushed and destroyed under the iron heels of their enemy. Over time, after peace treaties had been signed and all the war flags had been taken down and neatly folded and put away, Lilia's heart had softened enough to accept humans with a frivolous neutrality, going so far as to adopt one to raise as his son, but Baul's had not. He was immediately suspicious of the handful of humans that came to live in the valley after the war, turning up his nose at their strange wares and customs and ways. When even more of them began to pour into the castle town, he and his wife sold their house and fled to a small homestead in the forest.
But fate continued to torment him, and he ended up a widower shortly after their first and only child, Thalia, was born. Even through all of his pain, he found his daughter was perfect - more perfect than anything he had ever seen. He was at first cautious in his parenting, aware at all times that he might one day lose her, too, as he had lost so many others before, but the child embraced all the challenges of her life with a ferocity that stunned him, and his concerns quickly proved themselves unwarranted as the years went by. She grew to be a tall and proud woman - she was heavyset, soft and plump in all the places her father was lean and hard, and more beautiful than a dahlia in full bloom.
They remained close after she moved out, meeting together for dinner most nights, and he thought nothing of it when she mentioned she'd started working at a local dental clinic. She would now and then talk about her boss, a human who'd immigrated to the valley some years ago, and to Baul's dismay, her innocent admiration quickly burgeoned into something more serious. Her infatuation with the human felt to Baul like a betrayal. He and Thalia fought when she announced she was courting him, they fought when she announced her engagement, and they fought when she announced she was pregnant. It was Horace's birth that finally allowed for their armistice, and his arms trembled the first time he held his newborn grandson. A child's eyes are the truest mirror one can face, and when Baul gazed into the wet emerald panes peering up at him, he realized for the first time in his life how ugly he had become. He locked himself in his room when he returned home that night. All alone, he reached as far and as deep as he could into his heart and ripped out the black seed of his hatred, casting it far away - farther than Zeus could launch his bolts of lightning or Thor his hammer.
But even though he'd finally been able to make peace with his daughter, nothing could be done to mend his relationship with his son-in-law. Linus had been intensely curious of the world around him from a young age, and the interest he'd developed in fae dentition during his studies had drawn him across the ocean and into Briar Valley upon his graduation, where he established a successful dental practice that treated both human and fae patients, alike. He was a pinched and narrow man, from the bottom of his feet to the top of his head, and his heavy-lidded eyes had never lost the childlike spark that so often betrays us as we grow older. It was this spark that had first piqued Thalia's interest, and he was just as obsessed with his wife as she was with him. There was very little of him to see in their children - they had inherited neither his shaggy black hair nor his brown eyes, neither his wiry frame nor olive complexion; their mother's genetics had overpowered his so completely it was as though Thalia had simply sculpted each child from the white clay of the earth by herself. But he fiercely adored them, regardless, showering them with praise and affection, and with an abundance of sugary treats that would make other members of his profession light headed. Over the years, Baul had grown to appreciate Linus for his kindness and for his intellect, and for his devotion to his family, but still could not stand how weak he was, and how small. He was a foot shorter than his wife and several hundred pounds lighter - a miserable twig next to a glorious oak tree, and Baul often complained that he would "snap in half if he sneezed too hard." Worst of all, he was magicless - a transgression Baul knew he would never be able to forgive. He could only tolerate the man, and offered him no more mercy than that.
Lilia shook his head, exasperated. "My god, I'll never understand how Tally puts up with you. Woman has the patience of a saint."
"Yeah," Baul murmured. "Yeah, she does." He folded his hands in his lap and contemplated.
They rocked in comfortable silence. The sun drifted leisurely towards the horizon, and the golden-orange sky looked as soft as an oriole feather. A nightingale, determined to outwit its rival suitors, began his serenade an hour early. Lilia had come to that place with the sole intention of retrieving his son, but the evening breeze dislodged that singular thought from his mind, and it floated away to join the cloud of fireflies gathering in the front lawn. The cat observed all of this with great interest. It was suddenly wide awake where the two men beside it were growing slowly unconscious, its body twitching with the primordial knowledge that night would soon fall.
Silver and Sebek found the pair fast asleep when they returned an hour later.
II.
Sometimes, when the sun seems to hang frozen above him, stubbornly refusing to give up its domination to the pleasant respite of night, when there are no chores to distract him with and his boy isn’t around to tease, Lilia will wander - usually carelessly, at times with a pointed determination - into the dim labyrinth of his mind. It would always astound him how, despite nearly seven hundred years of escapades and follies, despite almost a millennium of joy and heartbreak and unrest and sorrow, there were so few memories for him to parse through. Some of them had simply faded away as he grew older, others had burst into his consciousness and then vanished like spring lightning, dragged down by his heart into an unknown place where they could no longer hurt him. When he’d at last reach the center of that great maze, he would cling onto the earliest memory he could salvage from its shadowy depths, and always he would find himself next blinking his eyes open into the dull light of the castle barracks. He was no longer certain if the memory was from the day he’d enlisted, or if it was from a time much later in the service. He only knew that he must’ve already been an adult then, that he must’ve already accepted all the solitude and responsibility that had been thrust onto his small shoulders by the forces that determined his life.
He'd been told by the queen, along with all the lords and ladies and every other manner of noble and aristocrat he had ever served, on numerous occasions and under no pretense of kindness, that the royal family had taken him in as a young orphan, but he could not remember if that was true. He was certain, at least, that they had given him his name. "Lilia" was derived from the fae word for lily flowers, a plant whose legends and symbolism encompassed grand ideals of hope and purity, and something about it - the sound of it, its grandiose meanings, the way it would catch itself on his teeth, as though his body could not recognize what it was he was trying to say - had always felt wrong to him - foreign, even, so that he always felt like the people addressing him were talking to someone else. Out of discomfort, he often went by his last name, instead. "Vanrouge" had a sharpness to it that he found suited himself much more - both the sharpness of his temperament, and of his body. He was bony and stunted in height, his back no broader than the sticks used for kindling, and he stood shoulder height or lower to most adults his age. The nobility was not beyond recoginizing his strength and his talent in magic, however, and for all that his self-proclaimed benefactors gave him - a place to call home, people he could call family, military prestige beyond his wildest dreams - they took away just as much. Their orders came down like axe heads, and for centuries he dutifully served under their beck and call, acting as a guard dog for them one day, a scapegoat another, an undertaker the next, folding for them like a blade of grass forced flat by the wind.
He stumbled through the years as haphazardly as a tightrope walker, going only where he was told to go and doing only what he was told to do. He worked to the point that he could work no more, and when his incapability was discovered, he was immediately ordered to resign. It was one of the few times in his life he had ever felt afraid. Each and every one of the sovereignty's commands had been a link in a long fetter that bound him to their sides, but it had also been his lifeline, and without it, he feared he would be lost. The day of his resignation, he received one final order to remove his things from the barracks before leaving. The truth of it all pierced his mind like an arrow just then. He realized all at once that the tiny room with its cot and its chest and its wardrobe would be his prison cell no more, that the four walls that had been closing in on him for centuries had finally halted in their paths. He realized the thing that had been beating in his chest all his life had not been stamped out, had not been taken away from him - he had lost his dignity, his strength, even some of the people he had permitted himself to love, but not this. He smiled as he left the castle, made giddy by the greatest secret he knew he would never be able to tell. The discharge papers in his hands suddenly seemed to him like a pardon.
However, he had spent so many years bowing down to others he found he did not recognize the world when he finally stood up and looked at it again. With nothing more left in his life to guide him, he left his homeland shortly after his expulsion. He traveled from country to country with no real destination in mind - if a locale displeased him, he simply packed his things and departed for the next. As the years went by, he gradually began to operate with less and less reason, doing everything and anything he could "just because". Time had molded the clay of his person into a confusing and crude shape, and after decades of slow disentanglement and reformation, of reclaiming all the good things he had been forced to cast out of his heart, he discovered that his truest pleasure was to simply live by his whims. When he at last exhausted his traveling funds, he returned to the valley, settling down only because he'd never done so before, and was curious how well it would go. The people around him pitied him, as one often does those whom Life seems to have forgotten in its haste, but he was far too absorbed in his newfound self-indulgences to pay them any mind.
Even the acquisition of his son had been unplanned. He'd periodically scavenge from the ghost towns that dotted the countryside, in search of tools and good lumber he could use for his repairs back home, and on one such excursion, while searching through the rooms of a crumbling little cottage located deep within the valley's eastern forests, he found a human baby, fast asleep in its cradle. It was gaunt, with an evident pallor to its face, and Lilia quickly concluded it had been abandoned; the stagnant air in that place told him no other living being had been there for days. When he turned to leave, not wishing to disrupt Nature's process, an idea struck his mind so suddenly and so violently he had to steady himself against the doorway before he fell. What if he were to keep the child? What if he, a fae, were to raise the very flesh and blood of his nation's most ancient enemy? The notion intoxicated him. His head spun as he slowly returned to the crib.
"Now wouldn't that be a lark," he murmured as he raised the child. It blinked up at him weakly with eyes the color of the aurora, and Lilia was immediately convinced of his own genius.
"Let's get you something to eat, you poor thing! I'm quite famished myself, you know. You have excellent timing," he said with a wink. The baby watched him silently as he carried it back home.
He thought it would be simple. He knew from his time watching over the infant Malleus that babies needed little more than food, play, clean diapers, and naps. His first charge had flourished splendidly in his care, and he had no doubt his second would do the same.
But Silver was difficult. After its initial, desperate feeding, the baby, seeming to finally remember it was in possession of lungs and a vocal instrument, began to cry incessantly. If it wasn't in Lilia's arms, it cried. If it went a moment too long between feedings, it cried. Even when it slept Lilia was not safe. If he set it down for a nap and attempted to leave the room, it would awaken immediately, understand it had been abandoned once more, and would cry. There were times - random, and frustratingly rare - where it would suddenly stop in the midst of one of its fits, and smile at Lilia so sweetly he'd wonder if someone had snuck in and swapped the child for another when he wasn't looking. Once he realized his legendary frivolity had met its match, he began consulting with the Zigvolts on a regular basis, as Pa Zigvolt was the only human in the valley he trusted. It was the height of summer then, a time he'd usually spend taking refuge in the cool shadows indoors, but he did not mind walking the five long miles back and forth between their homes, preferring even the heat over the child's endless screaming. Pa Zigvolt assisted him to the best of his abilities, imparting to Lilia all the knowledge he had acquired over the years as a then-father of two, and Silver's fits ended a few months later as abruptly as they'd started.
The second hurdle arose when the little boy began to talk. His first, crude word was "Ba pa", and it took several days for Lilia's mind to finally register that he was the intended recipient of this title. He'd planned to have Silver call him by his first name, just as he'd been forced to do when Malleus was little, and hearing the child acknowledge him as its parent made him uncomfortable, as though both of them were breaking a rule he didn't know the name of. The baby, however, refused his every plea for reconsideration, and gradually figured out all the tricks of human speech as he grew older, learning to perfectly pucker his lips, and mastering the rhythm of the two syllables he so desperately wished to string together. He would repeat "Papa" throughout the day, singing out "Papa, Papa, Papa!" with the joy of a hymn. But for Lilia, each utterance was like a stone launched against the walls he had built up around his heart, and when they collapsed and faded away into nothing, he realized his discomfort had vanished with them.
He would later realize, too, that where he'd long forgotten much of his early life, he found he could now remember, to an almost startling degree, much of what he'd seen and experienced ever since he took in the boy. He could still remember a freezing day in January over a decade ago, when Silver had chanced upon a lone snowdrop shivering off the cold in the meadow near their home. The flower had fascinated the boy severely; he sat before it, stone still, tilting his heavy head this way and that, trying to understand the small creature’s drooping frame. Eventually, Lilia came over and accompanied him in his study. He had seen snowdrops countless times before, while marching through the countryside, while working on the clearing, but only then, as he knelt in the snow with the young boy at his side, both of them shivering quietly in the late winter light, only then did he finally realize its perfection. He could still remember, too, the snow slowly melting later that year, and Silver pointing out to him the magnolias blooming in the copse behind their shed, and the daffodils and tulips breaking through the frost that blanketed their small garden, and the linden trees releasing their sweet perfume. He could remember Silver revealing to him with a boyish surety the strangeness of rain showers on sunny days, and the comfort of the mist that lingers on cool autumn mornings. So many sights and sounds and sensations had passed by him all his life in a blur - colorless and dull, abstract and undefined, and when his son entered his life, it was as though a bolt of lightning the color of the aurora had struck the earth and finally given all these things their color and meaning.
But Silver had begun to change recently. Not physically - no, he still had the same rosy, cherubic little cheeks; the same bright blue-grey eyes; and the same sweet, half-crooked smile that Lilia would proudly boast about to all who would listen, and even to those who would not. It was his attitude, his tone of voice, his humor that had changed, and Lilia had not noticed it willingly, at first. Where he'd always been so agreeable and forthcoming, so that Lilia was unsure if the boy had ever kept a secret from him in his entire life, he was now secretive and temperamental. At times, Silver would whirl on him like a wildcat, his eyes narrowed, his thin lips pulled back into a snarl, upset at something Lilia could not understand. There was always a strange look to his eyes during these flares, not quite panicked, yet not angered, either. He looked, if anything, confused - as though he could not believe the truth of the thing he'd just done. When he was amicable, he was as loquacious as a monk. He'd also been showing a newfound apathy towards Lilia's jokes and teasing, and to his presence overall, expressing more and more his desire to be left alone. Most alarming of all, Silver had recently stopped addressing him as "Papa", and now called him "Father", instead. It felt as unnatural as if a songbird had stopped singing. He found it vulgar. "Father" was harsh, adult, stern - formal and distant where his previous moniker had been so intimate and sweet. He'd pleaded with Silver more than once the past month, asking if anything was wrong, demanding to know why he was acting like this, but the boy was unwavering in his defiance, curtly assuring him each time that everything was fine, before excusing himself to go be alone his room once more.
Lilia ultimately decided not to push the matter further, presuming Silver would recover his good attitude in due time, and had instead been focusing his attention on preparing the homestead for summer. The garden work and other miscellaneous chores had all been welcome distractions, but an incident the past week had revived his concerns.
He and Silver had gone to the Zigvolt's for dinner. Ma Zigvolt prepared a feast of grilled corn cobs, roast venison slow-cooked with creamy golden potatoes and carrots, and a whole pile of her buttery homemade biscuits. The pair ate heartily, having both worked up a respectable appetite from hoeing weeds together all that morning, and as usual, they stayed with their hosts late into the evening, if only so Lilia and Baul could talk, and so Silver and Sebek could listen. It was the boys' greatest pleasure in the world to gather in the parlor and listen to them talk. Sometimes, they would simply muse on the recent weather, or discuss local politics. Other times, they'd tell stories - the boys always begged for a story. The former war heroes would weave tales about all the faraway lands they had journeyed to and the greatest enemies they had ever faced, and about fearsome beasts the children had never heard of and stars they'd never seen - “Men’s talk”, as Ma Zigvolt would scoffingly call it. But there was always softness in her voice whenever she rebuked their late-night gatherings. Horace and Iris used to join the small audience, too, but gradually stopped as they grew older, claiming the men's yarns had lost their appeal. It was one of the few things Sebek disagreed with his sister on - he worshiped her, but understood at his young age that even an idol's opinions could be wrong, at times.
The boys' habit was such:
Sebek would sprawl on the bearskin rug before the fireplace, and Silver would curl up against his father’s chair, his head resting on the man’s lap. Lilia would play with his son's hair absentmindedly while he spoke. It could’ve been the shining hands of the angel Gabriel himself carding those gentle fingers through his hair and the boy scarcely would’ve noticed a difference. This was his great reprieve, the most delicious reward after a long and tiring day of chores and training and schoolwork and hard labor; a time for him to sigh out all the aches and pains that gripped his thin body and a time for him to rest.
Lilia knew all this. He had always known this. His son’s heart was a rose; he needed only to whisper the boy's name and its petals would unfurl for him.
The meeting last week had proceeded as usual, at first. Dinner was enjoyed by all, the fireplace was lit, Baul and Lilia took their seats in the parlor, and Sebek planted himself on the bearskin rug. But when Lilia smiled at Silver and set his hands on his lap, his palms upturned, the boy turned away, sitting down in front of the fireplace next to Sebek, instead.
In that moment, Lilia realized Silver's strange behavior the past month was a symptom of an issue far graver than he could have anticipated. When they returned home that night, he consulted his trove of parenting books after Silver went to bed. He'd bought a number of them when the infant Silver had begun his fits, turning to them for advice whenever the boy fell ill or reached a new developmental milestone. He hadn't read any of them in ages, and he sneezed as a cloud of dust billowed when he pulled them down from the shelf.
He flipped through the yellowing tomes one by one, smiling whenever he came across a dogeared page. Each bookmark and scribbled note he could trace back to a specific period in Silver's life, and the memories of those first few stressful years he now counted amongst his greatest treasures. He worked through the tall stack throughout the night, giving up at dawn with a sigh. Were he a more sensible man, perhaps he would've taken note of the fact that his entire collection was made up of books concerning a human's first few years of life, and that his son was now thirteen.
III.
A massive thunderstorm exploded into the valley in early June. It seemed to have materialized from nothing, catching the residents off guard like a cottonmouth's strike. On the first day of the storm, Lilia presumed it was nothing more than a typical summer shower, and felt confident it would quickly pass. On the third day, he remarked he had never seen anything like it before in his life. By the fifth, he was too stunned to speak again. The rain fell down in sheets as thick as pure marble. The sun and moon and stars all vanished beneath a sky as dark as bruised flesh, and only the candles melting above the fireplace gave any indication that time had not stopped. Some days, the rain would harden into hail, and it would pelt the earth like white meteors for hours on end. The deluge pounded on for over a week. The first morning after the storm, the valley denizens stepped cautiously into what seemed like a brand new world. Entire villages had been washed away in some areas, and miles of farmland now stood underwater in others. The river, engorged with rainwater, had flooded over, transforming large swaths of the surrounding forest into a veritable swamp. Carcasses of the animals that hadn't escaped the disaster - deer, boars, turkey, elk, wolves, snakes, predator and prey, young and old - drifted in a black line down the muddy waters. Buzzards whirling their death dance filled the skies.
The Vanrouge's clearing, located uphill, had been mostly spared - a drowned chicken the lone fatality. But the corn fields had been left flattened, and the thatching on the cottage roof lay in shambles. Silver and Lilia worked quickly to dig a maze of deep trenches to help drain the excess water from the garden and pasture. They ripped out the molding stalks of corn and salvaged as many of the clean cobs as possible, hanging them to sun-dry from a wooden rack they'd erected in the yard. "The animals will be glad to have them, at least," Lilia had sighed.
Realizing they were quickly running out of nails and boards to finish making the repairs, Lilia decided one morning to head into the nearest town and replenish their dwindling supplies. Before leaving, he found Silver lying on his stomach in the living room, peering intently into a bird identification book he'd received for his birthday. He called out to the boy while he finished getting dressed.
“Silver, darling?”
Silver’s face, framed on one side by an illustration of a juvenile blackbird peeking out from its nest, and on the other by an adult in flight, emerged from between the pages of his book. Without looking up, he replied, "Yes, father?"
He still on that “father” thing? Lilia swallowed the annoyed groan building in his throat. “While I’m gone, could you butcher one of the shoats, please? I just noticed we’re about to run out of pork belly.”
“Yeah, I’ll take care of it today.”
“Perfect, thank you.”
Lilia grabbed his leather coin purse from the table by the door and secured it to the hook on his belt. He threw a light cloak over his shoulders, anticipating more rain, and glanced at Silver across the room while he fussed with the clasps.
The boy had retreated into his book.
Lilia sighed. The past week had been quiet. Even with the hail exploding all around them and the wind howling and the rain pounding like sledgehammers against their home, it had been quiet, because Silver had hardly spoken a word the entire time. The child's voice seldom rose above a pleasant murmur as a habit, and yet its absence had made the little cottage seem so much vaster and emptier than it really was; there were times during the storm Lilia had felt like the only living thing in the world trapped within its black fury. He hovered at the door for a moment, debating if he should try to kiss the boy goodbye, but his every attempt at parental affection the past month had been met with hostility, scorn, and disgust, and he feared any further attempts would only end the same. Electing for the path of least resistance, he opened the door and departed without another word.
Silver waited for the door to click shut before he pushed his book aside, sitting up with a grunt. He grabbed his pig sticker from his room and slipped on his work boots and gloves. Butchering was laborious work, more so than even his father's rigorous training regimes, and he gripped his knife expectantly while gathering his things.
The clearing glittered with rainwater as he stepped outside. The air was heavy, weighed down by a thick layer of petrichor, smelling somehow both earthy and sweet at once, and it felt like he had to push through it as he walked, as though he were swimming upstream. While struggling towards the pig pen, he contemplated his soggy surroundings. The wet ground was as dark as umber. The chickens, equally as wet and as dark, were scratching dejectedly at the mud, and the cows looked on wisely from underneath their dripping lean-to. He was thankful the garden hadn't been harmed. The brightly colored heads of the newborn squash peeking out from their leafy cradles lifted his heart where the rest of the world drooped and dripped so miserably around him. On the second day of the storm, when it was evident the rain and the wind would not soon abate, he and his father had rushed to cover all the plants with heavy sheets of plastic in a last-ditch attempt to save them. The covers had served them well, having prevented the incurrence of any vegetative losses, and though they now sported deep abrasions where the hail had struck them, Silver found the markings as noble and as handsome as any other battle scar.
Upon reaching the pen, he selected the smallest of the shoats, doubtful he could handle one of the larger animals on his own. The blade of his pig sticker shone dully in the dappled light. The mahogany handle felt cool in his sweat-slicked hand. With a practiced surety, Silver plunged the knife up into the pig’s rib cage, and the animal collapsed to the ground. He cleaned the blade in the grass while he waited for the body to stop moving. After the shoat finally stilled, he hoisted its heavy body onto the metal gambrel hanging from the tree by the shed, and then he began the long work - extracting the tender leaf fat hidden deep within it.
He grabbed the set of butcher knives from the shed and used the longest one to cut into the hide. The skin was rough against his hands, coated with a thick layer of wiry hair, and he grunted as he ripped it off. The head and wet mass of guts and other organs he removed from the torso as quickly as possible, discarding them in a pile far behind them, where he did not have to look at them and remember what he had just done. He slowed down to a comfortable pace as he began removing the leaf fat. The pigs had been enjoying a hearty diet of sweet potatoes, mulberries, and corn for most of the year, and the shoat he'd selected was richly packed with thick sheets of candle white fat. He plunged his knife into the carcass and began separating the fat from the muscle, working in a rhythm, stopping at times to put down his knife and use his hands to tear back the white slab, then picking it up again to continue cutting. He dislodged the mass with one final flick of his knife and deposited it into a bucket by his feet. Once rendered, it would be used not just for cooking, but also to make soap and candles, as a poultice for minor burns and wounds, and as lotion for chapped skin.
After swapping his knife for a bone saw, he split the carcass in half, and then hung both pieces inside the smokehouse. In a few days, once the meat had tenderized, he and his father would finish quartering them and divvying up the meat, grinding some of the portions to make sausage, and putting aside others for bacon and jerky.
He could feel beads of sweat crawling down his back like a line of ants as he plodded over to the water shelf to wash his hands. He figured by the sun's position there were still a few hours of morning left. Might as well see if I can't hunt something he thought, having already exhausted all the distractions the clearing and the cottage could offer.
He washed himself hastily, glancing in the mirror as he dried his hands against his pant legs. He was a demonstrably plain boy – not outstanding in height or wit or strength or speed. His body was lean and wiry, his hands prematurely calloused from years of grueling work, and only the few meager lumps of baby fat that clung to his face protested weakly that he was, indeed, just a child. The only remarkable thing about him was his eyes – they were a brilliant blend of amethyst and steel blue, almost prismatic in nature, seeming to change color with the rise and fall of the sun. The few adults in his life often remarked on their beauty, but Silver never paid their compliments any mind - in truth, he rejected them. He'd always thought his eyes plain, just as he thought the rest of himself plain, especially in comparison to the fae, and if there was any one thing he begrudged Sebek for, it was the serpentine pupils he'd inherited from his forefathers. He frowned at the mirror, then averted his gaze from his dissatisfied reflection.
Before leaving, Silver printed on the back of a used envelope a short note for his father, letting him know he was going hunting, and that he would return home before supper, and this he left on the counter, held in place with a coffee tin. He then retrieved his crossbow from his room, and left the clearing, cutting a path straight North, far away from the bloated river and its poisons. Huge puddles of muddy water dotted the trail before him, and the damp ground squelched noisily under his boots. The trail was bordered by a lavender frame of honeysuckle in full bloom, but the trumpets sagged poorly, still heavy with water. His father had said it would likely take another week or two for the land to dry completely.
Silver had observed the storm with great interest. Pa Zigvolt had once told him how people in other countries conceived of the beginning of the world, and in one version, he spoke of when the planet was all water, and a god had sculpted the land and the sky and all living creatures, and Silver had wondered during the storm if this was how the world had looked during those primordial seven days, or if perhaps that wrathful god had come back to restart its creation. Never before in his life had he seen so much rain, so much wind and lightning and hail all at once before. The sky was one ocean and the land was another. The rain seemed to move back and forth between them, falling and rising, the drops of water shining like the million wings of a dragonfly swarm. He processed novelties such as these almost programmatically. If he understood something, then he determined he would not fear it. His comprehension was a beam of light he could shine upon his abhorrations, it would cut through the shadow of his uncertainty and allow him to see the face of the thing, to touch it, and to understand it. He was afraid of very little: the forest at night, adders (he'd been bitten once as a small child), all the various tinctures and teas prescribed for his occasional afflictions, and his father's Halloween performances. Darkness was one thing he'd studied and studied since he was very young, but had never been able to puzzle out, perhaps because it did not end. It was too broad, too immeasurable; he could lift up one corner of it and step underneath it and walk a thousand miles and still never glimpse its face. Even when it receded during the day, he felt it prowling beyond the safety of the clearing, like a panther in waiting. The storm, too, had seemed infinite in its wrath, but it had ended, and now it was gone. Now there was only a liquid world, shimmering, iridescent, like one great droplet of water sitting on an endless spiderweb.
The frenzied drumming of a male grouse sounded off in the distance, beyond a thick wall of fir and aspen. Following the clamor, Silver slipped into the underbrush. He moved over the wet leaf litter as quiet as a shadow. The performer soon came into view, perched atop a fallen cedar tree. It was in the midst of a thunderous crescendo, beating its spectacled wings so feverously the air around it seemed a solid tawny blur. Silver dropped to a crouch, stalking slowly forward until he reached a mass of undergrowth tall enough to conceal him. Kneeling in the grass, he loaded an arrow into his crossbow, disengaging the safety as he raised it to his shoulder.
A noise above drew his attention. A red squirrel, high up in the tree beside him, was glaring at him, its eyes blazing as fiercely as its bright copper fur. Silver held his breath. If the squirrel let out a warning bark, the grouse would surely hear it and scatter. His gaze flew between his observer and his target - the bird had paused in its performance, its small black eyes scanning the tree line where he was hiding.
After a few tense moments, the squirrel disappeared into the privacy of the canopy with a huff. The grouse cocked its head, alert, but not alarmed, and then resumed its drumming. Silver quietly let out the breath he'd been holding and moved his finger over the trigger. The arrow soared through the air and struck the grouse with a heavy thud. It fell to the ground, disappearing behind it's earthen stage.
Silver stood up and thrust his crossbow behind him. He rushed in long strides to the log and hoisted the grouse's limp body with one hand, his own body still thrumming with adrenaline. A scarlet blot bloomed in the animal's chest where his arrow had pierced it. The sight of the blood immediately muted all his excitement. He whispered an earnest "Thank you" to the creature before slipping its thin neck up under his belt and turning around. As he stood there, awash in the late morning light, contemplating the still-warm body resting against his thigh, his mind finally acknowledged that he knew this place.
One day, a few months ago, on his way home from collecting armfuls of wild sorrel and burdock in the forest, Silver had discovered a great horned owl sitting atop a towering oak tree while passing through there. The creatures were rarely seen during the day, typically active only during crepuscular hours, and Silver carefully set down his leafy bundle upon spotting it, taking the opportunity to quietly study the bird for as long as it allowed him to. He concluded that its long, brown ear-tufts reminded him of the projections in his father’s hair, and he smiled, pleased by the genius of his observation. When he walked up to the tree and craned his head back, the owl slowly blinked its yellow eyes down at him in perplexment.
“Could you please help me?” Silver asked.
“Whooo?”
“You, silly bird!” he laughed. He explained that he'd learned a new word recently, and desired an audience before which to practice his pronunciation.
The owl obliged his request and swooped down to a branch directly before him. He unfastened his cloak and draped it around its neck, carefully hooking up the fastener so as to not pinch its feathers.
He stepped back to admire his work. “Looks good to me,” he murmured to himself, nodding. “Now, I want you to please pretend to be my papa- I mean, my father.”
The owl stared at a toad loitering by Silver’s feet. It looked up and blinked its spotlight eyes at him slowly.
Flustered, Silver continued. “Oh, if you just sit there, that should be okay! I’ll go ahead and start now. I don’t want to take up too much of your time.”
He cleared his throat and straightened his back, crossing his arms. “Hello, Pa-, erm, Father. Today, I’m going to go play- I mean!! I’m going to go train with Sebek. I’ll be back for dinner. Farewell!”
He spun around and marched off, swinging his arms importantly, just like he’d seen the imperial guards do on his rare trips into town. After a few heavy steps, he stopped and turned around again, nervously searching his spectator's face for any sign of reproach.
“...How was that?” he asked after a moment.
The owl bobbed its head excitedly, but Silver could not determine if the gesture was meant for him, or for the toad that was now clinging plaintively to his feet. He reset his stance and repeated the exercise from the beginning. Again and again he stuttered through his short speech and pumped his arms and stomped across the ground, and then turned around to be greeted by a feathery face as unintelligible as some ancient cipher. This cycle continued for so long his pile of greens had begun to wilt by the time he was at last satisfied.
His request had been sincere, if not misguided. The new moniker he'd chosen for Lilia sat as heavy and awkwardly as a foreign word on his tongue, and he'd often lapse into calling the man "Papa" as a course of habit, which he'd aimed to rectify through this practice. But there was another, graver reason why he'd felt so anxious that day - a secret dilemma had been plaguing him for weeks.
He had discovered, unwillingly, and to his great alarm, that the adults in his life had suddenly developed an irritating air about them. He wished, for example, to push away Ma Zigvolt’s pinching hands when they reached for the roundness of his face and to flee from Pa Zigvolt’s awkward attempts at conversation. Baul and his father’s stories had lost their wonder, too, no longer coloring the quiet expanse of his dreams. And his father, by far, presented the most extreme case of this mysterious ailment.
It was as though, after thirteen long years of worshiping the very ground he walked on, Silver had woken up one day with his mind rewired to find everything the man did purely annoying. When he'd suddenly start to sing in that strange, deep voice he could conjure on a whim, or when he’d pester him with questions, asking him how his day was, and what he and Sebek had gotten up to, or when he'd declare to the world what a splendid, hardworking boy he was, instead of laughing or smiling or nodding along, as per his customary response, Silver instead found himself praying for the earth to open up and swallow him whole.
Even Malleus had changed. All his life, Silver had approached the young prince unabashed and forthcoming, as he was never taught the fear that lurked in the hearts of many of the valley’s citizens. Indeed, for Silver, Malleus was one of the precious few cornerstones of his meager world – he was a comforting shadow in the dim haze of Silver's infantile memories, and the green glow of his magic was as reassuring to him as the North Star’s guiding light. More than anything, he was someone - the only one - who’d come visit Silver when his father was away.
Lilia had resumed traveling for leisure after Silver was old enough to look after the homestead on his own. He was never gone long, in his own opinion, only a week or two at most. He'd pack the fridge full of questionable food for the boy, leave him a list of chores and rules to follow that was, at times, as questionable as the food, kiss his cheek goodbye, and then promptly disappear to whatever locale he'd selected for his itinerary that month. He'd always send Silver postcards of the places he'd visit. They often arrived faded and torn, or sopping wet from the rain, but Silver kept each and every one of them, regardless if damaged or illegible, or otherwise totally destroyed, in a little box underneath his bed. When he lay down to sleep at night, in his mind he would reach his hand underneath his bed, open his box, and quietly step into the distant worlds contained within the postcards.
Some nights, he and his father would stroll through the glass-topped bazaars of the Shaftlands, their arms heavy with paper shopping bags filled to the brim with newly purchased clothing and trinkets and toys, slowly moving through the crystalline cloud of cologne and parfum drifting out from the stores and boutiques, each establishment a gem of its own, the arcade an endless line of diamonds, amethysts, pearls, topaz, and rubies; then this vision would vanish, and he and his father would be pulled another thousand miles away to the golden plains of the Sunset Savanna, where sky touched the earth, where a boiling sun raged like an angry god above a scorched plateau of rock and grit and sand and red clay dust, and they would journey across this shimmering land marveling at all the beasts and vegetation Silver had only ever read about in his books, and would likely never see for as long as he lived.
He'd spend the entire night thus traipsing from one postcard to the next, so that by the time he awoke in the morning, he'd crossed nearly half the planet in his sleep.
This habit he continued for over half a year, at which point Malleus at last learned of Lilia's departures. Often kept detained at the castle by mountains of paperwork and other bureaucratic trivialities that left him too exasperated and too occupied for leisure, he did not regularly call on the Vanrouges, and when he'd taken a rare opportunity to drop by their cottage one day, many years ago, he was surprised when Silver opened the door and informed him that his father was gone. Silver did not notice anything strange about Malleus's reaction, at first. He'd gotten another postcard recently. On the front, an image of massive, stone towers rising high into a cloudless turquoise sky, their spires terminating into crowns shaped like pyramids; on the back, in his fathers prim script, a short note explaining the structures were called "obelisks'', and that they were monuments dedicated to the local gods of that region. All of Silver's dreams lately had been of endless deserts and great golden towers and the ancient kings and queens that once ruled over them, and when he saw the pair of black obelisks that were concealed in Malleus's slit pupils, his fantasies materialized temptingly in his mind once again.
But Malleus's low voice, inquiring on Lilia's return, pulled him back to the clearing and the small cottage and its plainness for a moment. Trying to focus, he stated bluntly that his father would not be back for another week.
"A week?" Malleus said, his tone halfway between a scoff and a cry.
"A week," Silver repeated absentmindedly, busy trying to determine how a pharaoh's headdress might sit between Malleus's horns.
When his gaze drifted lazily back to Malleus's eyes, he finally realized the man was angry. The black obelisks had vanished, and all the kings and queens in his mind bowed their heavy ornate heads, crumbling away to nothing in the face of the prince's quiet rage.
From that day on, Malleus dedicated himself to visiting Silver as much as possible when Lilia was away. He would bring with him cakes and pies he'd stolen from the castle's kitchen, and books he'd snuck out of the royal library, and they would sit together and enjoy these treasures in the living room, or stroll through the forest when the weather was fair. These visits made Silver feel very important, a sensation he seldom had the privilege to enjoy, and he'd imagine he was a duke welcoming a fellow aristocrat to his palace whenever Malleus stopped by. The lonely late-night journeys through his postcards melted away into this new pleasure.
As Silver matured, he slowly began to comprehend the gravity of Malleus’s periodic decampments. It first felt like nothing more than a small discomfort, as though he were wearing a garment a size too small. As time went on, the discomfort only grew, transforming from a minor inconvenience into an ever-present malaise. But Silver was attentive as he was reticent, and he’d noticed how, when he’d caper with Malleus through the forests, the pixies living in the oak trees and the river would whisper and whisper all around them, their high voices a chorus of reproachful chimes. And he’d noticed, too, the confusion that had flashed across his father’s eyes the day he’d confessed to these secret visits. Silver collected these observations as his evidence, examined them, and concluded that Malleus was doing something wrong. But to accuse their crown prince of misconduct required a level of brazenness that far exceeded his capabilities, and he'd waited several months until he finally voiced his suspicions.
He broached the topic the spring prior, when his father had departed for a week-long sojourn in the Shaftlands. That first night, Malleus appeared at the cottage door with a pan of freshly baked apple strudel in hand. After they were sat at the table and Malleus began cutting their portions, Silver at last revealed all his concerns.
When he finished speaking, he watched Malleus’s hand slow down as it moved the knife through the steaming pastry.
“I…” Malleus pursed his lips in thought, lifting them into a soft smile a moment later.
“I remember how I felt whenever Lilia would vanish on one of his excursions when I was little, and I suppose I simply wish not for you to feel the same.”
“But that’s-”
“You needn’t worry, Silver.” Malleus laughed gently, pushing a plate heavy with warm strudel towards him. “I shan’t get into any trouble - so long as my grandmother remains none the wiser about all this, that is,” he finished with a wink.
Silver was at once overcome by a rush of joy and shame and guilt and relief all combined together. His body, unable to process this strange emotional amalgamation, resigned to color itself with a vicious crimson flush. The chameleonic display was so severe it shocked even Malleus, and he spent the rest of that evening marveling at the different shades of red human skin could take.
Something shifted in Silver's relationship with Malleus that day. He felt it before he understood what it was. When his father returned from his trip, he revealed to Silver the truth that had been looming over him all of his life, and explained to him all the different rules that Malleus had been egregiously breaking for him for years on end. When the lecture was finished, Silver asked his father to leave his room so he could ruminate. He concluded that if it was wrong for Malleus to show him this kindness, if it had to be locked away and kept a secret, then he would keep his own secret - he would take his love for Malleus, for his brother, and he would bury it. He would construct a pedestal in his heart, as all the other valley citizens had long been taught to do, and place upon it the man he'd been too ignorant to realize had never truly been his equal and his friend.
He was bothered greatly – by his father’s antics, by the dullness of the adults around him, by the solitude of his strange and sudden affliction – and yet he never could find a remedy for his discomfort. It was like an insect had stung him in a spot his hands couldn’t quite reach, and the words to describe how he felt evaded him just the same.
All of this he considered once more as he left the forest, stumbling back home in a haze of speculation. By the time he reached the clearing, the darkened sky looked like a giant raven's wing stretched out over the land, and the treefrogs had already begun their evening serenade. Even in the low light he could feel their beady eyes staring at him as he approached the door.
Inside, the cottage was warm, and his father's humming radiated quietly from the kitchen. After slipping off his muddy boots by the door, he set the limp grouse on the counter and went to wash his hands at the basin.
His father stood before the cookstove, stirring a pot bubbling with a substance as black as tar. He looked up, and the smile he’d been planning to offer Silver rapidly faded away. Knitting his brow in concern, he asked, “Is everything okay?”
Silver swallowed thickly and nodded. “I’m fine.”
IV.
Summer crept forward like an inchworm. The land dried out completely within a matter of weeks, as Lilia had predicted, and one could now comfortably move around outside without fear of the humidity's oppression. The linden trees, made anxious by the pounding wind and rain, had been steadfastly clutching their bright yellow flowers against their leafy breasts since the start of the month, and had only recently just begun allowing the satiny petals to unfurl, as though acknowledging the valley's languid recuperation. Their delicious perfume billowed out across the entire nation, eventually overshadowing even the contaminated river's foul odor.
The Zigvolts had fared well through the disaster, their tall, white house still standing proud and pristine amongst a mess of downed trees and waterlogged foliage, not a single red brick from the chimney missing or otherwise harmed. Their neighbors, however, had not been nearly as fortunate, and the elder Zigvolts had agreed to close the dental clinic while they helped their friends repair their homes. The children eagerly assisted wherever possible, and they spent the better part of June lugging armfuls of wood and shingles, readjusting crooked fences, and clearing out dripping debris from the trails that weaved around their home. The entire family would work from morning until late at night, reserving one day a week to either relax or to see to any high-priority dental cases.
It was on one of these holidays, in late June, when Lilia and Silver dropped by in the morning for a scheduled call. The two families gathered in the parlor, the adults chatting amicably, while the children competed to see who'd had the most interesting experiences during the storm, but as noon rolled around and the boys lost interest in conversation, Baul suggested they go outside for an impromptu sword fighting lesson. The group thus disbanded, Lilia remaining with Pa and Ma Zigvolt in the parlor, while Iris joined her grandfather and the family cat in supervising the boys, taking turns cheering for her brother or for Silver as she saw fit.
After they left, Ma Zigvolt went to the kitchen and refilled the pitcher of ice tea she'd prepared that morning, topping up Lilia's glass for him before retaking her seat. Looking at him expectantly, she asked, "Now what were you saying before? About Silver."
“Ah, about Silver acting strangely during the storm?” Lilia waited for her confirmation before continuing. “Well, there was this one day I was able to get the fireplace going and I gathered up some blankets on the couch. And when I asked Silver if he wanted to come cuddle with me for a bit, he… he…”
Ma Zigvolt balled up her apron in her hands and leaned forward, wide-eyed. “He what?”
“He said no!” Lilia cried, throwing his arm over his face with a flourish.
“No?!” she gasped. “Not Silver!”
“Yes! I could hear my poor heart breaking in two on the spot.” Lilia slumped back in his chair. It was the first time he'd spoken to anyone about the problems he'd been having with his son, and he felt somehow encumbered by the weight of his confession.
Ma Zigvolt gently asked if he'd had any luck talking to Silver about his behavior, and he begrudgingly shook his head.
"He always says he's fine, and that's about as much as I can get out of him." He sipped his tea, setting his glass down on the table beside him with a frown. "It almost feels like he doesn't even like me anymore..."
Pa and Ma Zigvolt exchanged a pointed look. It was not unlike the one they'd share with each other at the clinic, when a patient, complaining of mysterious symptoms that had "simply popped up out of nowhere!" would throw themselves into the examination chair with a huff, only to confess after much prodding that they had been consuming a poor diet, and had been practicing even poorer dental habits.
Pa Zigvolt spoke first. “It’s normal for kids Silver’s age to go through a phase like this. It just means he’s growing up.”
Lilia blinked. “Growing up…?”
“Mm-hmm,” Ma Zigvolt continued. “We went through the exact same thing with Horace and Iris. Horace especially had it rough, the poor thing. You remember, honey?”
“Yeah, I remember it clear as day." He nodded solemnly. "He’d stay holed up in his room all the time, and trying to get him to talk to us was harder than pulling a tooth. It’s like he thought we were the most embarrassing people in the world.”
“Oh, but he still thinks that way about you, dear.”
“Tally!”
Laughing, Ma Zigvolt reached over and patted his knee soothingly.
Lilia considered their words. “If that’s the case, then I suppose I just don’t understand why he’s trying to grow up so quickly. For most of his life, I pushed him much too hard, had him undergo training better suited for soldiers thrice his age. The day I finally realized what an awful mistake I’d been making, I don’t think I’d ever felt so ashamed of myself in my life.”
“From that moment on, I swore to ease up on him and just let him be a kid, and to make sure he could enjoy his childhood as much as possible. Especially since I… Ahh…”
Lilia thought of the castle barracks. There had only been one window in his room, a pitiful little square cut high into the stone wall adjacent to his cot. It faced East, and for a few, meager hours in the afternoon, when the sun was positioned directly before the castle, a singular column of light would enter the window and illuminate that small, dark space. He thought of how he would lay transfixed in bed, watching the light glide across his body like a golden serpent, how he would thrust out his hands, trying to capture it, trying desperately to stop this one thing from exiting his life as everything else had, and how each time it would slip through his groping fingers like water and evaporate into nothing. He thought of marching for days, of the sharp iron stench of the battlefield, of the bone-deep ache that would weigh heavy like a stone over every fiber of his being. He thought of all the things he experienced growing up that he never wished for his son or any other child to go through.
Lilia swallowed the lump forming in his throat. Looking past Ma Zigvolt, focusing on the wall clock behind her, he finally continued, “When I was a child, I didn’t have the… the kinds of opportunities that he has, so I just want to make sure he makes the most of them while he can.”
"I see..." Ma Zigvolt sighed, folding her hands in her lap. She had grown up knowing Lilia to be an evasive - if not frustrating - man, and her father had warned her repeatedly over the years to be cautious in her prodding. He was like an uncle to her, and she dutifully acknowledged his seniority, if only in regards to his age, but he was also a fellow parent, and her neighbor, and where the wellbeing of children was concerned, she was known to reveal the full extent of her caustic rhetoric, so that more than once she'd had to quit all civility and rebuke Lilia for his parental failures. Still, she considered each of her questions carefully, as though treading across a sheet of ice, knowing full well that if she chose her next step incorrectly, it would shatter the man's trust and terminate the conversation.
After a moment, she asked, “And you two haven't had any fights recently? You don't think you've said anything that might've upset him?"
Lilia paused for a moment, and then shook his head again. “No, not at all.”
Ma Zigvolt pressed further, sensing his hesitation. “Well, regardless, you don’t think there’s anything you’re doing that might be making him act this way?”
She'd stepped too far. Lilia frowned. “I think I know my own child, Thalia. If he had a problem with me, he’d say so.”
"I wasn't trying to insinuate anything, Lilia."
“Alright.”
Pa Zigvolt glanced rapidly between his wife and Lilia. Confrontation historically made him nervous, and it was clear from their stony faces they'd reached an impasse. He rubbed his clammy palms against his pant leg and rose from his seat, asked politely if anyone would like another round of refreshments, and fled to the kitchen before receiving a response. Lilia's gaze followed him as he walked off, his thoughts drifting away together with the man's receding figure.
He could hear the children's laughter floating in through the open windows, Sebek's loud and exuberant, Silver's quiet and breathless. Other sounds poured in, blending together like a symphony. There was the harsh percussion of their wooden swords clashing together, ringing out at times as viciously as gunfire; there was Baul's voice, low and clear, gruffly barking out his commands in tune with each thunderous strike; and there was the shining thread of Iris's singsong voice, interweaving amongst the clamor as she called out her gentle encouragement.
But still through it all his son's voice came to him, as direct as a beam of light, sounding sweeter and brighter than the goldfinches chittering away in the cottonwood trees.
It'd been so long since he last heard his son's laugh he'd almost forgotten what it sounded like. For over a month, he'd failed to elicit from the boy anything beyond the faintest imitation of a grin, yet here he was, just out of arm's reach, laughing and smiling so freely it was like his body demanded it more than breathing. He looked away from the window and glanced at Ma Zigvolt. She sat with her back erect, her hands folded primly in her lap, her eyes closed, awash in her children's joy, her round face as radiant and golden as the sun. Lilia fought back the urge to call out to Silver, knowing he would only destroy this moment.
He thought again of the past few weeks, scrutinizing everything he'd said and done to his child. He sifted through his memories, upturning each one and twisting it around and inspecting it from every angle, but still he could not find any evidence of his error. And he couldn't make comprehensible, either, the notion that his son was "growing up", as the Zigvolts had claimed. How could he, when Silver only had taken his first, wobbling steps just the other day, when it was only just yesterday that he'd learned to string his words together and share his quaint little thoughts, when he was still so small - his body, his voice, his hands, all no greater now than they had ever been before in his entire life? Lilia bit back an incredulous scoff, humored greatly by the absolute absurdity of the notion. And yet - his son's laughter drifted into his consciousness like a spring breeze. Why this drastic change in his demeanor, then?
Maybe there is something I'm doing wrong. But I just...
Lilia cleared his throat. "I'll certainly need to mull this over some more, but if you have any advice, I'm all ears."
“Well…” Ma Zigvolt smiled, smoothing out her apron before folding her hands in her lap again. “I know I’m no expert, but I’ve found that sometimes, being a good parent means you gather your babies in your arms and you hold onto them as tight as you can. And other times, it means you let them go. And he's at a point in his life where you might just have to start letting him go.”
"Hm."
The Vanrouges departed for home that afternoon. Before they left, Pa Zigvolt pulled Lilia aside, and let him know he was more than welcome to come speak with them again about Silver's behavior at any time. Lilia thanked him, reassuring him that his wife had already given him more than enough to think about for a while yet, and politely declined the couple's offer to meet for dinner later that week. As he stepped through the door, he winked at Ma Zigvolt, and she grinned at him audaciously.
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Silver retreated into his shell as soon as they stepped off their neighbor's property, but Lilia was for once too occupied to take offense, busy ruminating on his conversation with the Zigvolts. Their dinner that evening was silent, and he later fell asleep dreaming of the boy's twinkling laughter.
Lilia would come to regret rejecting the Zigvolts' offer. Over the next several weeks, Silver seemed to burrow deeper and deeper into himself with each passing day. The boy's emotional carapace was thicker than any suit of armor or garrison Lilia had encountered during his time in the service, and some days he receded so deeply Lilia would have to call his name multiple times and rap his hand against the table just to wrest the child's attention away from himself. It was all Lilia could do to maintain the fraying strand of his composure from completely snapping. He'd been hotheaded as a youth, and positively vicious to his troops as a general, but had sworn off his every inclination towards corporal punishment once Malleus was born. During this period he often found himself questioning the rationality of his vow, and would sometimes envision giving the boy a lashing, only to immediately chide himself for his own weakness.
Something sinister seemed to be building up inside their little home. It was as though there was a great coil lurking underneath the floorboards, one that wound itself tighter and tighter with each of their disastrous interactions. The palpable tension only further stymied Lilia's every attempt at repairing their relationship, and the blowout he'd been fearing finally materialized one afternoon in early July.
Silver had spent the better part of that day in a state of quiet agitation. He would approach Lilia, open his mouth, close it, open it again, and then spin around and march off to his room, proclaiming hastily he needed to close his window, or make his bed, or any other excuse he could find to justify his escape. Lilia would only laugh in response. The previous day, while cleaning the kitchen, he'd glanced out the window and noticed the boy speaking animatedly with the chickens. He watched for hours as Silver paced back and forth before them, waving his arms and moving his mouth rapidly as the birds pecked indifferently at the ground.
Since then, Lilia had been eager to learn the truth of Silver's recital, but he did not press the boy, choosing instead to bide his time sprawled out on the couch, flipping through a stack of traveling magazines he'd been meaning to read.
After an hour of consternation, Silver planted himself before Lilia, his spine erect, his shoulders drawn back, and stated with perfect confidence, "Father, there's something I'd like to ask you!"
"Hm?" Lilia lowered his magazine, his eyes peeking over an editorial on deep-sea diving in the Coral Sea. "What is it?"
Silver's shoulders slumped. He'd not gotten this far in his rehearsals.
"Erm." He nibbled on his lower lip. "Is it okay if I go to the Zigvolt's by myself today?"
Lilia blinked. He'd been hoping - expecting, even - to hear from the boy a teary-eyed apology for how poorly he'd been acting recently, or perhaps a plea for his forgiveness, but not this. After a moment, he muttered, "What?"
"Is it okay if-"
"Sorry, I heard you." Lilia sat up and placed the magazine on the coffee table. "Why are you asking that?"
"I dunno. I just thought I-" Silver licked his lips. "I guess I just thought I could go by myself now. And I know it hurts your back to walk all that way, so."
"Oh, you don't need to worry about me, darling." Lilia said, inwardly cursing at himself for allowing the boy to notice his infirmity. He made a note to check the bathroom after they were finished talking, wondering if he'd neglected to put away his pain relief balm and bottles of medication where he typically hid them, at the back of the medicine cabinet.
Sitting up as straight as his bruised back allowed, he offered Silver a smile so brilliant it was as though he wished to expunge the shadow of the boy's doubt with its radiance. "I'm fit as a fiddle!" he proclaimed through gritted teeth.
Silver returned the smile, unaffected. "I'm glad. But I still wanna start going by myself."
Lilia's lips dropped into a frown. He shook his head and sighed. "I'm sorry, Silver. But the answer is 'no'."
Had Silver heard those words at any other point in his life prior to that moment, he would have conceded, and bowed out of the conversation in recognition of his father's perfect judgment. But this time, rather than his usual disappointment, he felt a strange anger welling up inside of him, instead. He clenched his fists and set his jaw, ignoring the hiss of his instincts warning him that he was about to step into a fight.
"No? Why not?" he asked, interrupting Lilia as he reached for his magazine.
Lilia leaned back into the couch and bit back another sigh. "Simple, because it's not safe for you to go all that way by yourself." He spoke slowly and carefully, hoping an air of manufactured calmness would mask his irritation.
Silver's voice, in contrast, blatantly swelled with indignation. "But I stay home by myself when you're gone."
"Staying home by yourself is different. My magic is all over this land. Magical beasts and fae know not to come here, and you know that, too."
Here, Silver paused again. The hiss of his instincts had at that point deformed into a mangled screech, which he knew would soon summon the animal panic that had struck him before a handful of times in his young life - once when he'd gotten lost in the woods as a small child, and another when his father had fallen gravely ill after returning from one of his trips, and Silver had been powerless to help him. There was one, final question that he now wished to ask the man, though he knew the answer to it might hurt him. As his mind frantically tried to draw back the words already forming on his tongue, he hastily wrenched them out and spat:
"Well, what about when you drop me and Sebek out in the middle of nowhere for our training? We always get along just fine without you."
Lilia crossed his arms and looked away. "That's... different, too."
Silver's heart skipped a beat. "...How?"
"It just is-"
"How!" the boy cried, his voice bursting into a screech.
"Because I watch you guys the whole time! I've always been watching you when you train. I would never leave you alone like that, you're just a child."
Lilia realized too late the poison of his words. It spread immediately into Silver's heart. His eyes were two perfect shining wet opals; his tears fell silently - gliding, almost, lifting off as they fell from his face, as though afraid to mar his skin. He turned and ran to his room, hesitating as he took the door into his hand before, for perhaps the first time in his life, he slammed it shut. Lilia leapt from the couch and raced after him, hissing out a choked "Damnit!" under his breath as he tried the knob and found it locked. He pressed his ear against the door and called out Silver's name. At first, he heard nothing, and feared for a moment the boy had slipped out his window and fled into the forest, in repeat of that awful, wretched night from so long ago, but then he heard it - it was like a whisper at first, nearly as imperceptible as the clap of a butterfly's wings, but still he heard it, heard the stifled, quiet sobs drifting through the heavy panel of hardwood separating him from his son. Lilia stood there, petrified, listening, feeling as each of the boy's sobs pierced his flesh and bore down into the deepest folds of his heart, as if seeking him; as if they were his own.
V.
Once a month, when the moon casts aside her shadowy veil to grace the valley with all her beauty, the Zigvolts and the Vanrouges and their neighbors gather together in a log cabin at the edge of the forest, and they dance.
Regular merriment was a necessity for the fae - mirth coursed through their bodies like the blood in their veins, and any opportunity for celebration, any chance they had to raise their voices together and join hands under the soft light of the stars, they would take it. Baul would scoff and say they were all plagued by a sickness, Ma Zigvolt would click her tongue at him and say it was rather an inclination.
The monthly dance was a rare opportunity for Silver to socialize freely with the townspeople. His father had always been honest with him about his species' general attitude towards humans, and the boy understood very well that the glint in their gemstone eyes - some of them deep ruby red like his father’s, others mesmerizingly green like polished emeralds, or as molten as bright blue sapphires - was not always a kind one. Only on those full moon nights, when the whine of the band’s violins accompanies the forest symphony of nightingales and tree frogs calling out their lonely verses, when the humans and the fae breathe each other in and twist and turn and dip and whirl and spin each other out, only then was it safe for Silver to take their clawed hands into his own and look unabashed into the fire of their eyes. They could and they would return to their quiet judgment and whispered denouncements later, but not on those nights, not when their bodies burned hot with jubilation and the music bewitched them so.
It was for this reason, and for his love of the communal mirth he habitually longed for, as isolated as he was at home, that Silver looked forward to the dance each month with great excitement. The night before the July dance, however, a war had raged inside the Vanrouge household.
Partway through their silent dinner, just as Lilia had gotten up to refill his glass of water at the sink, Silver had announced, plainly, and without a moment's hesitation, that he would not be participating in tomorrow's festivities, and offered neither an explanation nor any willingness to compromise when prompted. But Lilia was equally insurmountable in his parental concerns, and he questioned the boy until his blood boiled. The conversation rapidly crumbled into an argument, before further disintegrating into an all-out screaming match.
They volleyed their rebukes at each other from across the dining table, both unbending in their determination, Silver deflecting each of Lilia's pleas and demands with an iron-clad defense that bordered on hostility.
"You're going to that dance whether you want to or not!" Lilia had nigh snarled at one point as he launched his next attack.
But his words had ricocheted off Silver as harmlessly as though they were filled with air, and he ultimately fired back a retort so scathing it made even Lilia's marble white skin flush in mortification.
Their clamor poured out the open windows and flooded the clearing, where the sows and the heifer in the pasture looked at each other in concern. A songbird that had perched on the windowsill for a moment’s respite burst into the sky a second later, alarmed by the ruckus within. After an hour of tense contestation, they finally reached an agreement: they would go to the dance, but would not stay the entire time. But the foul atmosphere from the great storm of their quarrel lingered in the small cottage, and the pair kept to themselves the next day, Silver sulking in his bedroom, and Lilia fussing in the kitchen, busy preparing a dish for the dance's customary potluck.
They convened in the evening. The partygoers traditionally wore their Sunday best, and Silver and Lilia both donned their black slacks, white button up shirts, and leather-soled shoes. Their jackets and vests they left hanging in their closets, the threat of the summer heat overpowering any inclination for gaiety. When Silver emerged into the living room, he was finishing buttoning up his shirt, and did not look up as he called out a quiet greeting to his father. It was the first time Lilia had seen him all day, and once the boy had completed his toilette and finally met his gaze, Lilia offered him a reconciliatory smile, which Silver at first returned, reflexively, then retracted a moment later, substituting it with a scowl in its place.
Shortly before dusk, underneath a blue-gray sky streaked with clouds of pure amber, they departed for the cabin, joining up with the Zigvolts as they neared the edge of the forest. Baul was not with his family, having excused himself to instead partake in an evening nap, and the small troupe reached its destination just as the last golden wisps of the sun had withdrawn into their equatorial den.
While Ma and Pa Zigvolt and Iris set off for the dancefloor, Lilia headed towards the tables at the back of the one-room cabin, Silver and Sebek in tow. He gingerly set down his tray of charred cookies amongst the other desserts while the boys took a seat. As Sebek gazed at the rows of meat pies and pound cakes spread out before them, Silver fidgeted in his chair.
The last of the partygoers having finally assembled, the band picked up their instruments and began to play. There was no electricity in the valley, and aside from the small handful of families that could afford imported record players, music was traditionally played live, both for private enjoyment, and for public celebrations. Most fae children, as a result, learned to master at least one instrument as part of their general education, and while Lilia and Malleus both were highly skilled in a wide variety of stringed instruments, Silver could play only a few, clumsy chords on the guitar - and nothing else - having suffered greatly under his father's abstract instruction.
The theme that night was "Rhythm and Blues", and the band played a selection of human songs that had lately entered the valley's cultural zeitgeist, a record-short 50 years after first debuting overseas. The partygoers danced uproariously, all of them eager to show off the new steps they'd been practicing the past month - twisting and turning and stomping their feet so thunderously the entire cabin shook from their gesticulations.
After the first song ended and a transitory lull settled over the party, Silver took the opportunity to finally voice his discomfort. Sitting up straight in his seat, he said, “I’m gonna go sit outside, it’s hot in here. You wanna come, Sebek?”
Sebek tugged absentmindedly at his suspenders while he thought. “I should like to partake in some of the fare, so I shall remain here with Sir Lilia for now.”
“Okay,” Silver replied with a shrug. He walked into the swarm of dancers just as the next song began, vanishing amongst the undulating crowd a moment later.
Lilia wished desperately to follow after him. He'd apologized repeatedly for snapping at Silver the other day, and for their fight the evening prior, both times attempting reparation through the offer of a new sword or other training implement, or ordering dinner from Silver's favorite restaurant in town - methods that had always proven successful in the past - but the boy had shot down any notion of making peace. Deciding to allow Silver his space, Lilia rose from his seat and cut a large piece of cake for Sebek, grabbing for himself a glass of berry juice before sitting back down again. He drank deeply; a familiar warmth began to pool in his stomach and radiated pleasantly into his skin, gathering up and pushing out the restlessness that had been plaguing him since the night prior, so that it lifted away from his body like the mist after a rainstorm. He downed the rest of his glass lethargically, only getting up to move whenever Sebek politely asked for another slice of cake.
The pair observed the dancers in silence together, Lilia apathetically, Sebek with great interest, his bright eyes jumping excitedly between his parents and his sister, narrowing in contempt each time the latter's current dance partner whispered something in her ear that made her smile. He resolved not to dance with the perpetrator, a young woman he recognized as one of his sister's classmates, if offered, and the prospect of this future rejection delighted him even more than his final bite of cake.
Half an hour later, Pa Zigvolt came staggering over to their table, his pinched face dripping with sweat. He stood before them for a moment, swaying slightly, trying to catch his breath, then cleared his throat and announced, meekly, “Seb, your ma said she wants to dance with you next.”
Sebek's heart plunged into his stomach. He nodded and slowly stood up, wobbling a little as he marched stiffly towards the dance floor.
After watching his son leave, Pa Zigvolt sank down into one of the empty seats with a groan. He took out his handkerchief, and as he began dabbing at his wet face, a pained smile formed on his lips. “What a woman!” he panted, amazed. “I’m telling you, she’d go all night if you let her.”
Lilia smirked. “Sounds like she’s just like her father.”
“Yeah,” Pa Zigvolt sighed. And then he frowned. “Wait, what…? What do you mean by that?”
“What did you mean by that?” Lilia countered with a gentle smile.
The color drained from Pa Zigvolt’s face. The layer of sweat he’d only just managed to wipe off suddenly rematerialized across his skin, and he nervously balled his soaked handkerchief in his hands. “I- I was just talking about dancing!!” he stammered in defense.
Lilia laughed. “Then we’ll say that I was, too.”
Exasperated, Pa Zigvolt clicked his tongue. He timidly glanced around the room, and, upon confirming none of the other partygoers appeared to have heard them, deflated in his seat once again, kicking out his still quivering legs in front of him to let them rest. He set his used handkerchief on the table and extracted a fresh one from his crumpled breast pocket while scanning the dance floor, and quickly spotted the shock of his son's bright green hair weaving through the crowd, heading towards Ma Zigvolt at the front of the cabin, where she stood towering above the other partygoers. Smiling, he resumed mopping his face, and quietly breathed a prayer of good luck for the boy.
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“There you are, honey! I was waiting for you.” Ma Zigvolt smiled brightly as her son approached, and Sebek nodded in greeting. In stark contrast to his father, whose haggard breathing still rang out far behind them, his mother was the very definition of radiant; the cabin walls were lined with rows of glass lamps, each one burning a magic flame of an amber hue, and where their dim incandescence reached out and cupped her rosy face, her skin seemed to effuse its own milk white glow in return. She grabbed his arm and drew him flush against her, causing him to yelp in surprise, but he quickly regained his composure, and placed his trembling hands on her broad waist as she instructed.
They stood directly before the band, so close that Sebek could see his warped reflection in the gleaming brass of the saxophones; next to his doppelganger, within the piano's raised lid, was an umber copy of his mother, smiling gently at him. Turning his gaze, he watched as the singer stepped forth and clapped his hands, casting a simple spell to amplify his voice. The band members, thus signaled, each became animated in turn; one after another the horns swung in golden arcs up to their players' lips; the drummer and the pianist sat rigid in their seats; the guitarist and the bassist hovered their fingers over strings that seemed to vibrate in anticipation; finally, the singer, glancing around him, issued with a nod of his head a silent affirmation of their readiness, took a deep breath, and began to sing.
“Here they have a lot of fun
Puttin' trouble on the run
Man, you find the old and young
Twistin' the night away”
The dancers convened before the band immediately, some forming pairs, others choosing to shuffle on their own. The song called for a basic step, if danced solo: one need only to dig one's foot into the floor and twist it, as though "squashin' a damn bug", as Baul had once commented - with the elbows and hips swung in a similar, rhythmic fashion. Those who'd coupled up alternated this movement with a variety of turns, spins, and other footwork predominant in the swing style of dance. As they moved, the sound of their shoes scuffing and squeaking against the hardwood floor became a backing beat to the music.
The cabin was formed from stacked logs of hewn pine, affixed together with a mixture of mud and clay; the night's heat slipped through any miniscule gaps it could find in this rudimentary sealant - through the walls, the flooring, the roof - combining with the warmth that radiated from the mass of bodies packed together in that small space, so that the air within the building was as heavy and hot as the air without. Sebek's face quickly bloomed bright pink from the heat, and then dark red and splotchy; the impudent strands of hair he’d spent over half an hour in the bathroom slicking down fell limp over his eyes, heavy with perspiration. He understood at once his father's fatigued condition, and discarded the disgust he'd felt when he saw the man staggering to their table earlier, a newfound compassion taking its place.
“They're twistin', twistin'
Everybody's feelin' great
They're twistin', twistin'
They're twistin' the night away”
It was all Sebek could do to brace himself against his mother's thunderous exuberance. She swept him across the dancefloor as though he were a leaf caught up in a storm. His gaze shifted rapidly between her smiling face and his own shuffling feet, worried he might stumble and fall. Noticing this, Ma Zigvolt’s heavy body shook with laughter, her voice deep and rich like a dove’s call, and Sebek decided that he would never hear a more wonderful sound in his life. He soon forgot all his apprehensions; his shining white smile accompanied his reddened cheeks, and he nuzzled his face below the swell of his mother’s breast, as content as a nursing kitten.
A moment later, several of the dancers detached themselves from their partners and floated away. One of the Zigvolts' neighbors caught Sebek's mother, and his sister drifted over to take her place. He steadied himself against the thick trunk of her arm. She was wearing a pleated, pearl white dress, with a floral pattern sewn in golden thread along the neckline, the bottom falling down to just below her knees. The dress billowed out as she twirled, so that the hem unfurled around her like the petals of her namesake. Her pretty face was just as flushed as his, and her bright green eyes shone like pure jade; it was as though she had grown several years younger that night, no longer appearing to him as the young woman who had departed for college a year ago, but like the little girl of his infantile memories. They whirled and whirled, giggling until their stomachs hurt, as if sharing together in some great secret.
The floor groaned under a storm of stomping feet, the windows shook precipitously in their crudely cut frames. The crowd roared, voices low and high emerged from the swaying mass to accompany the singer at the end of each verse. Though there was not a drop of alcohol to be found in that cabin, many of them moved belligerently. They were intoxicated purely by the clang of the drums, the blare of the trumpets, the rumble of the singer's low voice - each of these more potent a drug to the fae than any other known substance on the planet.
At the back of the cabin, Lilia and Pa Zigvolt laughed and clapped along from their seats. Lilia's eyes darted around the room as he clapped, trying to locate his son, but the wall of dancers surging back and forth blocked his view.
“Lean up, lean back
Lean up, lean back
Watusi, now fly, now twist
They're twistin' the night away”
Outside, Silver sat alone on the doorstep. The sounds pouring out of the cabin washed over him in tumultuous waves. He'd heard many of the songs before, at prior dances, or on Pa Zigvolt's record player, and the familiarity of the music felt like a reassuring hand on his thin shoulders that night. He swayed gently to the beat, noticing at times how the slurred voices of the partygoers would rise above the band’s thunderous performance, and at one point he looked up and wondered if they had all grown drunk on the wine-dark sky.
He yawned loudly. The hot anger from his father’s recent injury still burned dimly in his stomach, and he wavered between his desire to snuff out the last few dying embers, or to let them fester still. He wasn’t used to this feeling, this irritation that clung to his tired flesh like a tick. His father had upset him before, over trivial matters that had seemed substantial to his child’s heart at the time – and once over something he understood was sincerely very grave – but he could not recall ever feeling truly angry towards the man.
All his life he'd thought himself plain and unmemorable, a pale, living blemish upon the fair folk and their preternatural beauty. But that day, when his father had revealed the truth to him, that was the first time in his life he'd ever felt ugly. The lone attestation to his maturation - all those miserable nights he'd spent in the wilderness as part of his training, often alone, other times accompanied by Sebek, cast hundreds of miles away from the clearing and all its conveniences, relying solely on his magical prowess, his wit, and a small set of tools to make it through the night - had all this time been a lie. Had any of his accomplishments been real? Had a single jot of his father's pride for him ever been genuine? What good was the torture of his training! What good was the endless exhaustion, the cold fear wrought by those awful, lonely nights, all the callouses and scars he'd been led to attain as a child and would now forever mar the alabaster of his flesh! To have ascended the black crags of the Forbidden Mountain, to have crossed endless deserts and forded raging rivers with trembling arms and legs, and yet to have failed to notice his father had been there with him the entire time! Or, perhaps he had noticed, perhaps he had noticed and merely pretended not to, to assuage the frightened little boy he now realized he truly was. Or, perhaps the man had secluded himself somewhere far beyond Silver's reach, perhaps he'd been observing him from behind the stars or the moon. But this last thought only wounded him further, as though even the heavenly bodies had betrayed him, too. He turned away from them now, not wishing for them to see him cry.
Humiliation is one of life's cruelest teachers, and that day it had taught Silver that nowhere in his house, nowhere in that land was he safe. Nowhere could he escape from the prison that was his father's gaze.
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The dance proceeded languidly, drawing on as the stars drifted quietly through the night sky. Pa Zigvolt, having at last recovered from his wife's fervor, had left Lilia to go dance with his daughter. Alone, Lilia remained in his seat at the back of the cabin, tapping his feet on occasion, or humming along to the songs he recognized, but did not otherwise participate any further in the festivities. He tiredly declined each of his neighbors' offers to try their cakes and their pies, raising an eyebrow when he noticed, an hour into the party, that his own plate of cookies was still untouched. He angrily crunched one of the charcoal black disks - frowning not at its flavor, which he found as decadent as anything else his impotent taste buds could detect, but at his neighbors' general ignorance towards good food.
Upon exhausting their repertoire of fast-paced numbers, the band called for a short interlude, at which conclusion the singer cleared his throat and announced, “Alright, ladies and gents. We’ll be slowing things down a bit for these last few songs.” The band behind him reassembled itself; the guitarist and the bassist returned their instruments to their cases, trading them for a pair of violins, and a portion of the brass section retired entirely. The violins, perched proudly on their players shoulders, let out a long, plaintive note, and then the singer parted his lips once more.
His voice hitherto had been brash and booming, a perfect accompaniment to the vibrant music, but now it melted into something as smooth as velvet, flowing like a summer breeze over and around the audience, dripping into their hearts with the sweetness of honey. The thunder of shuffling feet was no more. There was only the slow swaying of couples - lovers with their partners, mothers and fathers with their children, and neighbors with their friends.
“I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss
But more than this
I wish you love”
Lilia perked up as the first verse concluded, his gaze darting immediately to the front of the cabin. He recognized the song; he'd first heard it decades ago, while on a weekend trip he'd taken to the Queendom of Roses. It was during a period of his life where he'd been "going through the motions", as he'd regularly complain to Baul, plagued incessantly by an ennui that so often strikes those transitioning into their twilight years. In desperate need of a distraction, he spontaneously booked a flight to the nearest country - he didn't care which one, only that the ticket was cheap enough to justify paying for a farmhand during his absence. On the evening of the first day of his trip, while having dinner in his hotel, he learned from the waiter that there was to be a jazz orchestra - or "big band", as the humans called it - hosted in the ballroom located on the establishment's ground floor, and that patrons could attend the performance for free. His interest piqued, he rented a suit from a local tailor, freshly pressed, and perfumed with a crisp eau de toilette he'd brought along with him, and ordered a bouquet of fresh roses sent to his room, the brightest of which he trimmed and placed in his lapel.
Fae and human relations had long cooled down to a congenial level by then, and he danced comfortably with a number of human partners that night, free from the vicious admonishments that had disturbed him on his prior travels. They danced the same dances the fae before him had been dancing all night, and the performance concluded with the same song the band at the front of the cabin was playing now. It was the only number he'd sat out for, not wishing to engage in the cumbersome intimacy that slow dances demanded, and he'd observed the other couples with great interest; they all swayed in a gentle unison, moving like the fields of tall grass that grew near the meadow before his home, so that he felt like he'd been cast under a trance while watching them. When he returned to Briar Valley later that week, he promptly disremembered everything about the song - its lyrics, its rhythm, its melody - his attention wrested first by his responsibilities on the homestead, and then by his young son.
It was a few months after his acquisition of Silver, when he and the child both were still suffering from the boy's interminable fits, for which Lilia had long exhausted all his patience and energy into locating a cure, that he finally recalled the song he'd once heard all those years ago. One morning, with the wailing infant in his arms, its little face bright red and puckered, he was despaired to find his usual consolation tactics - rocking the baby, swaddling it, offering it a moistened rag to suckle on - had all lost their effects, and he paced back and forth across the living room, debating if he should call on the Zigvolts again, or attempt to find an alternative solution on his own.
He was tired, both mentally and physically; the weeks lately had been passing him by in an endless, uniform blur, each day demarcated by whatever twilight hour the baby would surrender to its circadian needs and drift off to sleep. In the midst of his fatigued panic, something that had for decades been slumbering in the recesses of his mind finally awoke then; the lyrics and melody he'd long forgotten burst forth from the cerebral pit they’d been cast into, reassembling themselves as brilliantly as the molten birth of a newborn star. Parting his lips, his voice nigh higher than a shaky whisper, he began to sing, “I wish you bluebirds in the spring…”; by the end of the first verse, the child's loud cries had hushed into a quiet whimper; before the conclusion of the song, it had fallen fast asleep. It was like he'd discovered a panacea; from then on, any time Silver was upset or fearful, or on stormy nights when the thunder was too loud and the lightning too bright for him to be able to fall asleep, Lilia would gather the boy into his arms and sing to him, dispelling the child's every perturbation with the low hum of his voice.
Lilia's heart sank, realizing in that moment just how long it'd been since he'd last sung it for Silver, likely not for months, or for a year, even, and yet - he smiled; this was their song, and now here was the perfect chance to finally reconnect with his withdrawn and sullen child once more!
Trembling with excitement, he shot up from his seat. He fought his way through the throng of dancers until he found Silver, still sitting alone on the stoop outside. He grabbed the boy’s hand and pulled him back into the cabin, but Silver dug his heels into the ground as they reentered the crowd.
“Stop it, I don’t want to dance,” Silver said with a glower.
Lilia sighed. “Oh, come now. Can’t you entertain your old man just for one song?”
“I don’t want to dance!” Silver repeated louder, putting as much stress on each word as he could muster. Some of the partygoers turned to look at them, and their curious stares made him flush.
Lilia tugged on the boy’s arm and offered him a reassuring smile. “Just this one song, and then we'll go home and you can sulk all you want.”
Silver ripped Lilia’s hand away, his face contorting into an angry grimace. “I said stop it! You’re embarrassing me!”
“But Silver! This is-!”
He pushed past Lilia and stormed out the door. Outside, the sky and the ground below it had merged into a single, black swath, so that his white head contrasted like a point of light against it, appearing like a star floating through the darkness. Lilia watched him walk away from where he stood frozen in shock, his rejected hand still hanging in the air. He did not move as the dancers silently drifted all around him; most of them did not turn to look at him, as though he were nothing more than a small obstruction in a stream.
“I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to, to keep you warm
But most of all when snowflakes fall
I wish you love”
Later, long after the last notes of the music had faded away, Lilia whispered, “But this is our song.”
VI.
Silver awoke the next morning long after the songbirds had concluded their matinal performance. The world outside was grey and silent, and he stepped through it as quietly as the pine boughs brushing together in the wind. He moved with confidence, his eyes habitually adjusted to low light, and followed a patch of wild coreopsis and daylilies that spread lace-like on the ground before him. They appeared to have claimed for themselves all the meager drops of sunlight that percolated through the clouds, shining like gemstones in the dim darkness.
He'd slept poorly last night, plagued by dreams of the dance, and his thoughts once more drifted away from him while he plodded through his chores, traveling far beyond the clearing, down to the cabin just past the forest's edge, where they pooled within it alongside the stagnant summer heat. Last night at the dance, a warmth had flowed from his father and into him where his fingers had touched his arm, and again and again, as he lay in bed upon returning home, he'd felt it anew, felt it erupt into the hot rage that had coursed through his veins when he'd stormed out the door. A part of him was sorry to have upset the man, having now belatedly realized his harmless intentions, but a greater part of him was struck by a deep frustration - his body ached with it; it prickled at his skin as though he'd bathed in poison oak, so that more than once he felt his face twist into a scowl while he worked.
The animals, too, noticed his contortions. The chickens coalesced at his feet as he gathered their eggs; the pigs butted him gently as he refilled their trough; and the young calf, renown for its stubborn shyness, detached itself from its mother for once and loitered by his side, unsure of what to say. Silver sighed at all of this. His whole life he'd had a peculiar connection with animals. They would sense his vexations and his fears, and would come to him, unbidden, offering him their crude affections in a variety of forms - sometimes pinecones or hickory nuts covered with specks of leaflitter, other times poorly picked wildflowers still dangling with heavy roots, each of these gifts held with utmost tender in their mouths or little hands. But he had not the patience for their ministrations that day, and he dismissed the chickens and the pigs and the calf each with a scoff and a wave of his hand. The heifer, however, he failed to evade.
She was the eldest of the Vanrouge's livestock - a wise, if not shrewd, creature; only a year younger than Silver, they had tumbled across the clearing together in their infancy, and most of what he knew of animal husbandry he'd learned from her. That morning, she had refused to vacate the lean-to in protest of the dismal weather, and she was waiting for him there when he approached her with his milking pail and wooden stool in hand. Once seated, his hands and his attention preoccupied with stripping the foremilk from her teats, her broad body blocking the exit, she turned her heavy head towards him, and issued from her liquid eyes the same question that had been tormenting him all that morning: Are you alright? Her plaintive gaze struck him like an ambush. Ensnared, he fumblingly released her udder and stroked her sides, ensuring her through gritted teeth that he was perfectly fine. Satisfied by his response, she turned away, and leisurely resumed her meditations.
After finishing his chores, he returned to the cottage and forced down a tasteless bowl of oatmeal and some scraps of white bacon. His thoughts raced while he ate. Within his mind flew bits and pieces of anger, trepidation, worry, and sorrow, and these he took into his calloused hands and pressed together, trying to mold them into something he could understand, but they ultimately formed into an idea, instead. This discovery satiated him where his meager meal had not, and he smiled as he brought his dishes to the sink.
When Lilia stumbled out of his bedroom an hour later, half-asleep, and still clad in his dress shirt and pants from the night prior, he found Silver waiting for him by the front door, his canvas knapsack slung across his shoulders. As he began to yawn a greeting, Silver stiffened and cut him off, rapidly spitting out a gruff request to go to the Zigvolt's before turning to face him. His tone was so severe that his words struck Lilia's skin like a splash of ice water, causing him to sober immediately, and he numbly gave his permission with a slow nod of his head. They left together after Lilia got changed, Silver leading the way, Lilia trailing far behind him.
The grey curtain of the sky had pulled back to reveal an angry red sun behind it. Summer had reached its height then, and the entire valley was plainly sullen. The trees, seeming to sag in the heat, stood with their great branches drooping weakly; the songbirds concealed amongst them cycled between a restless dozing and a fitful agitation, too uncomfortable to sing. Silver, however, cut unphased through the stifling air. His hair blazed like white fire, and the shimmering light around him made him appear at times like a mirage to his lagging father. Upon reaching their destination, and after an exchange of curt farewells, Silver glanced behind him as he opened the front door, but all he saw was the thin line of the man's back receding into the haze of the forest.
Silver found Sebek upstairs in his bedroom, pouring over sheets of magical formulae spread out across the floor. He stepped gingerly into the room, being careful not to disturb any of Sebek's materials, announced himself with a throaty, "Hey", and then promptly launched into a recount of last night. He spoke so rapidly it felt like his words were slipping blindly off his tongue. He blinked away hot tears as he talked, his anger and his hurt boiling up each time he mentioned his father. When he finished, he sighed, and then began nibbling on his lips, unsure of what he next wished to say. Sebek waited patiently for him to continue.
Finally, after a tense pause, Silver grumbled, “He keeps treating me like I’m a dumb kid and It’s driving me nuts. I just dunno know what to do anymore.”
Sebek frowned. “And you’re certain you’ve cast aside all your childish whims?”
“Yeah,” Silver nodded solemnly.
“Hmm…” Sebek thought for a moment, and then his lips pulled up into a smirk. “Then I should think the solution is obvious, you twit!”
“And what’s that?”
Sebek crossed his arms. “Recall Sir Lilia’s and my grandfather’s old war stories. Whenever they carried out some grand feat or other, they’d be lavished with adoration upon their return home. Clearly, you simply need to accomplish some sort of heroic act, and then your father shall finally recognize the man that you’ve become.”
“Yeah…” Silver murmured, nodding his head again. “Yeah, I think you’re right, Sebek. That’s a great idea, thank you.”
The praise made Sebek swell like an adder. He puffed out his chest and jutted his chin. “Truly, you are fortuitous, Silver! To have a friend as clever as I!”
Silver smiled. “I sure am.”
Sebek was taller than Silver by a single, coveted inch. And he was stronger, too, heavy and thick everywhere his companion was gangly and thin. But still Silver was more skilled at magic and combat than him, and he could count on one hand the number of times he’d bested his fellow apprentice in battle. Silver held over Sebek's head something he would never be able to reach no matter how much taller he grew: namely, the fact that Silver was older.
Sebek was only twelve, still just a child. Adolescence fascinated him severely, having watched it radically transform his older brother and sister before his eyes, and he was jealous that Silver got to enjoy all its mysteries before he could. Every morning, gripped with excitement, he’d snatch the desk calendar from his bedside table with trembling hands, eager to see if it was finally the day when he, too, would be permitted to enter that strange and curious world of young adulthood. And every morning his little shoulders would sag in disappointment as he read the date. He’d begun wondering lately if it would ever be March 17th again, thinking that perhaps the planet sought to deny him his wish, and was intentionally dawdling in its flight around the sun. The idea of a great conspiracy pleased him, which helped to placate his usual disappointment.
Now presented with the chance to prove his capabilities before all the adults around them, he trembled with excitement. They fell immediately to their plotting. First, Sebek suggested they apprehend a robber or other trivial criminal, but Silver quickly dismissed the idea, doubting its feasibility. He additionally dismissed Sebek's propositions that they search for long lost treasure and other such artifacts for similar reasons. When Sebek mentioned they could contact Malleus for assistance, Silver balked. He hadn't seen the man all summer, and hadn't heard his name in weeks - the young prince had been preoccupied with helping their country recover from the aftermath of last month's monstrous storm, traveling from waterlogged village to waterlogged village, magically repairing homes and rejuvenating flooded farmlands wherever he went. Silver rejected this proposal, too, explaining that Malleus likely wouldn't have the time available to help them, and noting internally that he'd only betray their schemes to his father, anyways, and they quickly moved onto their next point of contestation. After much debate, and much grumbling and whining, and following a short intermission to enjoy some of Ma Zigvolt's lemon pie, Sebek finally proposed an idea that the both of them agreed on.
A rogue grizzly bear had been making a feast of the local livestock over the summer, a missing sow of the Zigvolts and a milk calf of their neighbors amongst its victims. Any attempt the past month to detain or eliminate it had ended in failure, and it'd been outwitting the small community unlike anything the elders had ever seen. Recently, for example, a family living down the road had attempted to capture it after it had devoured several of their chickens during one of its nightly jaunts. They placed a series of foothold traps around the coop, buried under leaf litter, and totally de-scented using a complex spell, and awoke the next morning to find their yard blanketed with bloody white feathers, not a single trap containing within its undisturbed jaws even one strand of the creature's hair. Silver and Sebek decided they would bring an end to the terror themselves.
Its massive tracks had last been spotted heading into the Obsidian Forest - a congested strip of towering firs, spruce, and pine trees located to the north of the Zigvolt's. The trees there grew so closely together that hardly any sunlight was able to pierce through the thick canopy, casting the land inside of it into an endless shadow. One had the feeling Nature had forgotten that place in her designs; it was quiet as something alive should not be. There was no birdsong during the day, and neither the soft gurgle of the river nor the wind brushing against the trees. Tawny owl cries could sometimes be heard emanating from it at night - lonely, sharp trills that rang out almost like a warning. The fae were not known for being a judicious people, but they were perceptive, able to detect on their skin the slightest gradations in magic and other immaterial energies that even the finest tuned devices could not, and they stayed far away from the forest in confidence of its dangers.
Silver, however, was a human, and Sebek, a half-fae, and they had long viewed the forest with a simple, innocent curiosity, both unable to sense the unseen forces that made their countrymen so cautious of that unknown realm. As such, and with Silver consumed with thoughts of his redemption, and Sebek thinking of little more than all the praise their great adventure would earn him, they boldly made plans to meet together early the next morning before their parents awoke. Lilia regularly went to bed shortly after 11 o'clock, and Silver would make his escape several hours later. He would cut a path straight to the Zigvolt's, avoiding the long, winding trail his father had erected for him through his land, and would rendezvous with Sebek behind their home. They talked until the sun set and shadows flooded the room, but neither moved to turn on the light, for the excitement in their hearts brightened that dark space better than any candle or lamp ever could. Silver returned home that evening feeling lighter than he had in weeks.
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Silver dipped his hands into the kitchen basin and splashed some of the cold water onto his face. The windows above him were a pair of jet black panes, dotted with a smattering of stars that twinkled distantly like lightning bugs. He couldn't remember ever having seen a sky so desolate before, and he marveled at the miniscule pinpricks of light as he slowly dried his hands with a terry washcloth, anxiously aware of each and every sound he made.
He completed one final circuit throughout the house before leaving. Moving on his tiptoes, he double-checked that the covers were drawn over his bed and the pillows beneath them were positioned correctly, and that his father was still asleep, the last of which he ascertained with a furtive glance thrown inside the man's room. When he reached the front door, he sank back down on his heels and bent over to re-lace his boots.
He'd packed his knapsack before going to bed, filling it with a handheld lantern, his canteen and compass, an emergency kit, a small bag of cornmeal and a cast iron pan, and some pemmican and soda biscuits he'd wrapped in napkins. His crossbow hung snug over his shoulders; his favorite hunting knife was nestled deep into the leather sheath hanging from his belt. He and Sebek had agreed not to come back until their mission was fulfilled, and if they ran out of provisions before felling their quarry, they'd be well prepared to secure more.
The house breathed him out like a sigh. The moon unfurled overhead like an orchid in full bloom, vastly outshining the indolent stars hovering around it, and it bathed his surroundings in a pale film of argent light. The broad, black blocks of the cows and the pigs asleep in their enclosures jutted out from the darkness, and the black pyramid of the chicken coop rose silently above them. He crept past the dozing creatures and slipped into the woods. His legs instinctively followed the same trail he'd taken countless times before. His feet he lifted and placed methodically, stalking as he did when he hunted, fearing that the soft crackle of the twigs and leaves underneath him might awaken his sleeping father from hundreds of yards away.
Presently, the felled oak tree that marked the northernmost boundary of his father’s land appeared. Its withered roots splayed out like the gnarled fingers of an outstretched hand, their grasp extending far above his head. He reached out and rested his palm against the trunk. Its bark was soft and brittle from decay, blanketed with a thick layer of moss and algae. He knew not if his father had struck down this once mighty giant himself, or if it had merely collapsed in its old age, only that he was forbidden from passing by its sentinel gaze on his own. He grabbed onto the slippery bark and scrambled atop the trunk, letting out a shaky breath as he stood up.
All of the land before him stretched beyond the confines of his father's territory. Each and every bush and tree and creature, every shadow, every undefined mass lurking in the darkness there was to him an alien, a stranger. Somewhere further beyond lay the Zigvolt’s homestead, and further past that, the Obsidian Forest. The mountains erupted in the distance like a row of black fangs piercing the sky. Behind him waited the clearing and the cottage, the toolshed and the garden, the wheatfield and the pasture and the meadow – each of these forming another slat of his boyhood cradle, another barrier around the only world he'd ever truly known.
He lifted a trembling hand and groped at the air. He'd been expecting some sort of rebound from broaching his father's magical perimeter, but it did not come. He leapt off the trunk and landed on the ground with a loud crash. The sound echoed viciously all around him and yet - there was nothing. No harsh cry of his name. No thudding of feet racing up behind him. Nothing. Had he successfully escaped? Gasping, he rapidly swung his head this way and that, scanning his surroundings. Here was the copper blur of a fox slipping through the forest undergrowth, there was the heavy grey body of a raccoon lumbering slowly behind it. And here, again, the silver outline of a barn owl peering at him from the thicket yonder.
He could see now that these were no specters, no apparitions - they were living things, with eyes like his and beating hearts like his, things that drank in the same sweet night air as him. All his fears vanished - it was as though he'd finally let out a breath he never realized he'd been holding in all his life. Re-shouldering his bag, he set off once more, his heart pounding with excitement, his body coursing with the ecstasy of this newfound freedom. He swept through the forest like a beam of moonlight. The five miles to the Zigvolt's he crossed in what felt like five steps.
Why was I ever afraid of this place? he wondered. Why was I ever afraid of anything in my life?
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At three o'clock in the morning, less than an hour after he'd left the clearing, Silver stepped onto the dirt road that led to the Zigvolt's farmhouse. Breathless from his record flight, he took in long, quiet gulps of air as he neared the agreed-upon rendezvous location - the left-side porch, for there were no windows there - his eyes flicking occasionally to his sides, and to his rear, and to the spider web of starlight draped across the cottonwoods towering around him, his steps falling lighter than even the cloven feet of a vigilant deer. He immediately noticed the small, darkened figure hovering by the porch, and watched as it detached itself from the greater mass of shadows, revealing itself to be Sebek. His friend flashed him a triumphant smile, his little fangs shining bright white in the darkness.
"You made it!"
"Hush!"
Sebek's hands flew over his mouth. "Sorry!" he yelped as he turned to look at the house, his heart racing, but the stalwart building gave no reaction, remaining stone still, silent. Through his fingers, he sheepishly repeated, this time quietly, "Sorry." He quickly readjusted his knapsack from where it'd slipped down his shoulder, then hurried to join Silver in the road.
Silver rolled his eyes, grinning.
They padded cautiously through the darkness, their feet kicking up small clouds of dust from the earth beneath them, each one rising like an ochre breath before dissolving a moment later into the blue-black of the night. After walking for a length, Sebek pointed out from a row of identical log cabins his neighbor's home - namely, the one who'd recently tried to apprehend the beast after it'd feasted on their flock. They circled around back, ducking as they passed the lower story windows, and found, by a pair of crooked fence posts surrounding a small vegetable garden, a set of lumbering bear tracks that trailed away due North. Sebek crouched down and placed his hand in one of the prints. The massive groove was as broad as a dinner plate, so that even when he splayed and stretched out his hand as wide as he could, his fingertips stopped several inches short from the rim. The indentations from the claw marks looked like a set of daggers had been dragged through the ground. Silver swallowed thickly as he observed this. Tugging at Sebek's sleeve, he whispered hoarsely, "Come on, let's go."
The tracks led them further and deeper into the bowels of the adjacent woodland. Neither spoke, both of them gripped with a nervous excitement that bordered at times on trepidation. Occasionally, Silver's hands reached behind him for his crossbow, finding reassurance in the solidity of its metal stock. Sebek, too, had taken with him the children's rifle he'd received for his birthday last year. Purchased by his father while traveling overseas for a dental conference, he'd gloated joyfully to Silver upon receiving it, and had been treating it with the utmost care the past year, polishing it daily, and keeping it secured in a case he kept hidden underneath his bed. The fall prior, Silver had accompanied Sebek and his father when they'd gone duck hunting at the river and had received a turn using the weapon, with both boys dispatching several birds, each. Though Silver was amazed at its great strength, and though he found it a very lovely piece of craftsmanship, indeed, the sound of it firing hurt his ears, and he secretly hoped they wouldn't have to use it.
The trees gradually thinned out and fell away, receding into a tall, grassy meadow that, in turn, soon bowed down and terminated before another stretch of forest. But the shadowy structure looming before them was somehow different than all the other natural places they'd ever come across in their lives. It was darker than the night, silent; foreboding in a way that left them wondering if it was about to reach out a gnarled, earthen hand and strike them. This was the Obsidian Forest, and the bear's tracks disappeared within it.
The boys, having simultaneously come to a standstill at the edge of the forest, their hearts pounding, exchanged a tense look, then turned back to face the verdant bulwark. The moonlight fell like a curtain before them; Silver took Sebek's larger hand into his own and they stepped through it together. The air within the forest was several degrees cooler than without, and the shock of the cold was like jumping into the river on a warm Summer day. Sebek shook off Silver's hand with a grunt, and once freed, zipped his jacket and pulled up his collar. Silver, ignoring his friend's indignation, extracted his lantern from his bag, and lit it with a simple spell. He held up the device and slowly swung it back and forth it as he turned around.
All the light in the world was now contained within Silver's hands; everything around them was only an abstraction of what they understood to be total darkness. The copper glow from his lantern struck the surrounding fir trees, dimly illuminating the bone white bark covering their emaciated trunks. Their scraggly canopies converged together and formed a single, continuous, vegetative wall that strangled the moonlight within its matted foliage. The air was heavy with the clean smell of pine, underlaid with the rich musk of a humus that had been forming undisturbed for centuries. It was quiet, as the adults had described, but not completely devoid of sound - they could hear, emanating like an invisible vapor from the leaf litter, the silver song of crickets drawing their bows across their instruments; the wind had dropped its voice to a whisper, but they could hear this, too, threading through any microscopic gaps it could find in the leafy barrier overhead; and as they walked, there was the soft crunch of their boots sinking into the plush carpet of pine needles underfoot.
After a moment's consideration, Silver declared, "It's no big deal," and Sebek nodded mutely in agreement.
They'd been misled countless times before by the adults in their lives, having been warned of dangers they'd later discovered were, in truth, harmless in nature, such as cracking one's knuckles, or staying up until the early hours of the morning, and the Obsidian Forest they now added to this ever-growing list. But they remained cautious - Sebek walked with his hand looped around his rifle's strap, and Silver's eyes followed wherever the roaming light of his lantern touched the earth.
Their abscondment from home and their entry into the forest having now been completed, the final phase of their plan would be simple: they needed only to track the bear to its den, and kill it. This would not be unlike their usual training exercises, during which Lilia would deposit them in a remote location - often high atop some distant mountain range, or in the middle of a barren ravine - and they would be forced to survive on their own for days or weeks at a time, typically with an additional command to secure a target of Lilia's choosing, such as a wild animal, or an object he'd hidden deep in the wilderness. They had felled various species of direbeast before, both together, and on their own, and a bear would be no different. Knowing the creature's massive body would be too heavy for them to drag out of the forest on their own, they planned to cut off one of its paws to bring back as proof of their accomplishment, and would come back later to retrieve the rest, with assistance from the adults. Bear meat was a popular delicacy in the valley, and after the carcass was carved and distributed amongst the local community, Silver was determined to request a bottle of its golden oil - renowned for its anti-inflammatory properties - as a gift for his father.
Silver swept his lantern low over the ground, and with its pale glow as their beacon, they followed the tracks deep into the forest. They would occasionally notice movement in the darkness, fleeting figures and shapes that their nervous minds would automatically warp into the hulking mass of the bear, and each time, as they would begin to reach for their weapons, they would realize a moment later they'd stumbled upon nothing more than a small raccoon or an opossum on the prowl for food. They jumped at every such encounter, and at every unexpected noise that entered their peripheral - a heavy branch Sebek mistakenly stepped on rang out like a gunshot; a tawny owl's sudden cry boomed like a crack of thunder. For hours they proceeded tremulously; fear had been stalking them all that time like a shadow, and as the veil of darkness surrounding them lifted and gave way to daybreak, it vanished together with the night. They could not see the sun's yellow face above them, but they could feel its dappled light falling down on them like a warm and gentle rain. The canopy, which had hitherto been a solid, dark green streak, was now dotted with flashes of a vibrant cerulean blue.
With the night's vanquishment, they steadily grew more and more confident, feeling now important - older, even. They walked with their heads held high and their backs erect, pumping their arms and swinging their legs as though on the march. They kicked up cedar chips and pine needles as they walked, scattering them onto the ground like birdshot. The blood coursed through their veins hot as liquor; the temptation of glory drove them on like a whip. Each child began to envision himself seated like a king in the Zigvolt's parlor, regaling this tale to their neighbors and family, and joining a long line of men who had come before them - heroes and explorers, great and mighty conquerors of the strange and unknown.
They would stop - intermittently, and only for brief sprints - to rest, to drink water, or to re-lace their boots, and would then immediately resume their march as zealously as before. They hurried as fast as their legs could carry them, knowing that the creature would likely have returned to its den by that point, and that it would be fast asleep in preparation of its nightly activities - tracking it down before it awoke that evening would be vital to their success.
When they came across a noticeable gap in the canopy - a hole ripped open where a pine tree had collapsed, through which they caught their first, true glimpse of the sky since that morning - they agreed to take another short break. Amongst the various survival skills that Lilia had taught them was the ability to derive the time, and working together, they erected a rudimentary sundial using some branches they gathered from the ground. They calculated that it was presently midmorning, and that they must have covered several miles since entering the forest. They remained there for a few minutes longer, Silver sipping quietly from his canteen, Sebek dismantling their earthen clock. Languid clouds passed through the gap overhead. Silver recalled how, every winter, the pond near his home would freeze over, and yet he could still see fish swimming undisturbed beneath the thick panel of ice. He wondered if this was how they felt, watching the world pass by them silently up above. As he wiped his dripping mouth with his sleeve, he glanced over, and noticed that Sebek was frowning.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm getting hungry, that's all."
Silver put his canteen away. "You brought some food with you, right?"
"Of course I did!" Sebek bristled. He slid off his knapsack and rummaged inside it, cataloging each of his belongings out loud, more so to himself, than to the half-listening Silver.
"I've got biscuits and cornbread, some jerky, some apples..."
"Uh-huh," Silver said, stifling a yawn.
"My water bottle, of course. Aaannnd..." He reached deep inside, smiling when he felt his fingers touch what he'd been looking for.
"Some of my mother's snickerdoodles, freshly baked." He pulled out a brown paper bag, shaking it with a grin. "Sissy has been hogging them, but I was able to pilfer a few without her noticing." He poured several of the cookies onto his hand before returning the bag to his knapsack.
"Would you like one?"
"Sure, thanks."
Silver gingerly took one of the cookies from Sebek's outstretched hand and bit into it with a sigh. The soft dough crumbled in his mouth deliciously, each piece dissolving like a sugar cube on his tongue. The almost overwhelming smell of cinnamon, the faint hint of vanilla, the rich, buttery aftertaste, all made him think of Ma Zigvolt. He'd overheard her lamenting the loss of the family's sow a few weeks ago - she loved each of their livestock like her children, and the bear's cunning attacks had wounded her pride and her heart, both. He imagined, upon their return home, how her face would break into a smile when they told her what they'd done, presenting the news to her as though it were a freshly picked bouquet. The image was somehow sweeter than the cookie itself, and he licked the sugary crumbs off his fingers, tasting little more than a delicious contentment.
They resumed walking. For over an hour the forest stretched on unchanging and uninterrupted, before it began to angle sharply downhill, transforming eventually into a semi-exposed slope. The incline was so severe they had to descend on their hands and knees, slowly zigzagging from one tree to the next, at times using the exposed roots and fallen branches to rappel downwards. The plateau they arrived at was bisected by a meager creek, appearing as blue and as thin as the veins running down their arms. They lay on their stomachs and drank deeply from it, bringing the crystalline water to their mouths with their hands. Silver shook his head like a dog when he was finished, spraying ice cold drops everywhere, and Sebek pushed him away with a laugh. A school of minnows, each one a silver grain of rice, darted away at the commotion, but the water striders on the surface above continued their skating, unaffected. They washed their hands and refilled their canteens before moving on.
The sunlight filtering down through the forest canopy gradually became more intense as the morning rolled into afternoon. Silver and Sebek had been talking with one another at length ever since daybreak - discussing their plans and their upcoming glory, and pointing out all the flora and fauna around them - and their conversations slowed to a comfortable lull as the air grew increasingly warmer. Unable to tell the time without a further break in the canopy, one hour blended seamlessly into the other, so that occasionally, when they blinked, they would open their eyes to a world remarkably brighter and warmer than the one they'd been in just a moment before.
Late in the afternoon, as they picked their way through a pleasantly mild Summer haze, Sebek suddenly stopped walking and threw out his arm, blocking Silver. His bright green eyes bore laser-like into the distance; his whole body stiffened like a bird-dog alerting to game.
Unmoving, he stated plainly, "I do believe we've been here before."
Silver blinked. "Huh?"
"That spruce tree yonder, with all the moss on it," Sebek said, now pointing, "I've seen it before."
Silver studied the tree indicated for several moments, but could not determine how it differed from any of the other dozen trees surrounding it. Shrugging, he said, "It probably just looks like one we passed earlier. Tons of trees have moss on them."
"I know they do!" Sebek huffed, gritting his teeth. "But that patch there's shaped like a star. That's how I recognized it."
Silver looked again. The patch of moss did indeed resemble a child's simple depiction of a five-pointed star, but his mind refused to accept what it had just heard.
"That's impossible," he murmured, shaking his head. "We've just been following the bear's tracks this whole time. How could we..."
Silver frowned. His incredulity obscured his mind like an eclipse. As he stared at the bear's tracks - crisscrossing the ground in some areas, and issued in a straight line in others - they began to swirl before his eyes, forming a nameless thing that Silver knew he'd seen before, and after a terse moment of contemplation, he finally recalled where.
He thought of a time, years ago, when he and his father had spent the whole Summer attempting to snare a devious buck. The animal had pillaged their vegetable garden every night for weeks, tearing up their sweet potatoes and corn, and even daring to defile Lilia's prized tomato plants, and had avoided all their various traps and attempts to trail it. One day, after sitting together for several hours in a cramped tree stand, they were able to witness its genius. After passing directly before them, it disappeared for approximately fifteen minutes, then doubled back, retraced its steps to just before the stand, and cut into the forest in the opposite direction, at a sharp angle, so that its path formed a "V" when viewed from above. Even the most experienced hunter - whether human or animal or fae - would likely follow the original set of tracks, which would appear - and smell - fresher, having been laid down twice, and by the time the error was realized, the quarry would have long escaped. The buck, as if having calculated all of this, strode off that day waving the chestnut flag of its tail in victory.
And now here again was that same whirlpool of footprints, now here again was that same irrefutable display of animal cunning. The eclipse passed his mind; the light of his revelation nearly blinded him - they must have been going in circles for hours.
His eyes flew wide open; his heart thundered so viciously he wondered for a moment if it was about to burst. His eyes darted wildly about him, as though hoping to find some form of consolation hidden amongst the leaf litter. And then, in a moment of clarity, he recalled a new trick he'd recently learned, the very same one he now knew adults had been using on him and other children all his life: he lied.
"It's fine, Sebek. I know exactly where we're going." He turned away, so that his friend would not see him nervously biting his lip. He pulled out his compass and held it out this way and that, making a show of orienting himself.
"The bear just circled around here to try and shake us off its trail. We'll find it if we keep going..." His eyes scanned the ground, trying to deduce which set of tracks looked the freshest. "That way."
Sebek, frowning sternly, opened his mouth, and then closed it again. After a moment, his face relaxed, and he slowly replied, "If you insist..."
Silver let out a shaky breath. Sebek's immediate acquiescence, which he at other times would only earn after much coaxing and arguing and persuasion, excited him. He experienced once more the feeling of being much older and more important than he really was, and wondered for a moment if this was the true pleasure of being an adult. He made a note to emphasize this part of the story when he'd later recount it to his father - how he'd outwitted the terrible beast where all others before him had failed, and how he'd led himself and Sebek through what was sure to be their darkest hour. They would return home heroes, indeed!
"Come on, this way."
Thus continuing their journey, they picked a new trail in the direction Silver had indicated. Portions of the sky peeking through the canopy slowly turned a golden orange, others light pink or red, forming a mosaic of the sunset. The bear would now likely be active again, and out roaming the forest with them, and when Sebek mentioned this, Silver hurriedly explained that they could still locate its den in the meantime, and lay in wait for it to return, to which Sebek, still in an unusually agreeable mood, only nodded. Their enthusiasm from that morning waned together with the fading sunlight. They plodded on halfheartedly for hours; identical trees and shrubs and rocks extended all around them for miles. They nibbled on their sticks of jerky and pemmican as they walked, breaking off and exchanging pieces of dried meat with each other in lieu of conversation. Sebek's apples and corn bread and most of their biscuits they soon finished off, too.
Finally, evening gave way to night, and the world around them was plunged once more into darkness. As Silver fished in his bag for his lantern, Sebek suggested they quit for the day and set up camp, but Silver adamantly disagreed.
"Just a little bit further and then we'll stop," he said, struggling to relight the lantern as he spoke. "The den's gotta be close by."
"Hmph!"
And again, an hour later:
"We're almost there, I promise."
"Hmph!"
They slogged on wearily. Periodically, Silver would command they stop, and, taking out his compass from his pocket, would double-check the accuracy of their orientation, then indicate with a satisfactory grunt that they could continue moving. They did not rest, otherwise. Low hills and mounds they climbed felt to their leaden legs like mountains; meager creeks and streams they crossed seemed to stretch on for miles. The trees, crowding down on them, reached out and scratched at their arms and legs and faces with wooden claws as sharp as needles. Foxes and barn owls screamed out from deep within the forest, and their fatigued minds, instinctually recalling legends of all the various monsters that lurk within such darkness, heard amongst their mangled cries the laughter of evil witches, and the terrible roars of bogeymen and other foul beasts. The stars shone coldly above them, ignorant of their torment.
Eventually, the line of the bear's tracks duplicated, and then further split into a third and a fourth set, all at various points overlapping and crisscrossing the first one. Silver felt his heart sink further and further at the discovery of each new set, and when they all converged and disappeared into a tangled copse of towering spruce and fir trees, he felt it stop moving entirely. Stopping, he drew the lantern in a wide arc before him; his steady gaze swept across the rows of identical giants like the roaming beam of a lighthouse, moving slowly, searching them, daring them to offer him what he was looking for, as though conducting a silent interrogation. His pale watercolor eyes, always so soft, hardened into steel. Sebek became at once afraid of him.
"Silver, what are you-"
"Quiet!" Silver hissed, waving him off with his free hand, his other hand tightening its grip on the lantern until his knuckles bloomed white.
And then - he saw it.
There, deep within the copse, standing just off to the left, partly obscured by the long shadows cast by its brothers, was the same spruce tree from earlier that day, wearing the same star-shaped patch of moss upon its wooden breast. They'd simply gone in another, massive circle around the forest.
"Damnit!" Silver spat. "Damnit, damnit, damnit!"
"Silver!" Sebek whined, but Silver ignored him.
He ripped his compass from his pocket and held it before him with trembling hands. Its needle pointed North. He spun around 180 degrees, yet still it pointed North; he spun a quarter further - again, North. His jaw dropped. No matter which way he faced or how he held the compass, its needle only spun and spun, racing in time with his pounding heart. He threw it to the ground in disgust.
His adam's apple bobbed precipitously. "I swear I..."
"You see! I told you so!" Sebek huffed, stamping his foot. "We're lost!"
"Shut up!" Silver growled. "I need to think."
For several, long hours leading up to that point, Sebek had been languishing under a terrible secret, the truth of which was that he had known, ever since he'd first glimpsed that verdant star, that they were utterly, and completely, lost. However, he did not wish to embarrass his friend, for although he found pleasure in showing off his strength and his intellect, and in being able to do things that other children his age could not, he was not a cruel boy, and had no interest in causing others pain, for which reason he'd decided against questioning Silver's judgment. He had trusted that Silver would architect for them some miraculous solution, just as he always had done any time they'd encounter an issue when training, but Silver had failed, and now Sebek was scared. The volcanic plug that was his faith in his friend having been destroyed, he finally erupted. "I don't like this! I want to go home!" he cried, his voice quivering. "This isn't fun anymore!"
"Fun?" Silver spat. "We didn't come all the way out here to have fun, Sebek!"
He stormed towards the other boy; the pine needles snapped and popped like firecrackers under his feet. His voice rose to a crackling scream. "We came out here so I could get my dad to trust me! And now it's all ruined!"
Sebek sniffled, cowering. His eyes shone with the threat of crystal tears. Silver's anger shot out of him as rapidly as it had come.
"Everything's ruined..."
Their venture was over, and what had they to show for it but their knobby little elbows and knees, scraped and bruised and smeared with blood; their filthy clothing, torn and stained with their tears; their ruddy, dirt-smeared faces; and their eyes, red and swollen from crying? What were they, but two scared little children, who would now sit down and fold their hands, prim and proper, and wait for their parents to come wipe their faces and clean up their mess? There would be no glory, no praise; no retribution against Silver's father. He half-expected the man to suddenly emerge from the shadows and begin chastising him.
Silver picked up his compass, wiped it against his shirt, and shoved it back into his pocket. He quickly glanced at Sebek, then ducked his head again, ashamed. Staring at his shoes, he grunted, "Sorry."
Drawing his sleeve across his soiled face, Sebek grumbled through the fabric an acceptance of his apology. He then turned and stepped behind the wall of foliage to collect himself in private.
Silver waited for him. He rolled a pinecone back and forth under his boot for a few moments before gently kicking it away. The air buzzed with the sounds of nature's nocturnal choir; its leading members, a cloister of tree frogs hidden amongst the copse before him - each one a piece of peridot, emerald, or jade - sang quietly, joining their crystal voices with the crickets and katydids plucking their chitinous strings. He could hear Sebek's hushed sobs filtering through to him, carried upon the silver chorus like a pine needle pulled down a stream. He wished to go join him in his anguish, to throw his arms around his friend and to weep with him, but the shock of his failure had drained his body of all its frustrations, leaving him numb. He knew there would be time to mourn later; for now, his only focus would be on getting through the night.
Once Sebek returned, his eyes and his face cleaned and dry, if not still inflamed, Silver cleared his throat and said, "Remember what my father would always tell us: Best thing to do if you get lost..."
"...is to sit your ass down, and stay put." Sebek finished with a shaky sigh.
Silver set down his lantern and knapsack, and after taking out his emergency kit and placing it to the side, began clearing out a broad perimeter in the leaf litter, attempting to erect a small fire pit. Sebek, as if suddenly roused from a stupor, dropped all of his gear and moved automatically to help him. They labored slowly, dragging their long, weary arms apelike by their sides, fighting weakly against a sea of pine needles that seemed to never end. Their calf muscles, having been deflated of all their adrenaline and fear, burned with each of their languid movements. Ten minutes later, with the ground now barren, and their skin freshly pricked and bleeding, Silver used his magic to ignite the pile of tinder they'd gathered, then turned to rummage through his belongings once again. Beside him, Sebek flung himself against his knapsack and kicked out his legs with a groan. He pillowed his heavy head under his arms and observed the fire silently. The flames dyed his face in a wash of vermilion, elongating the shadows under his eyes.
Silver glanced at him as he removed the emergency blanket from his kit, still disturbed by his outburst.
"I brought some corn meal with me. We can make some hoe cakes or something later, if you want," he offered gently.
Sebek sniffled again. "Ok."
Silver circled their meager camp, searching for a place to hang the blanket, ultimately deciding upon the outstretched branch of a sagging pine tree. One side of the blanket was coated with a bright orange material, which he positioned facing away from them.
"That's to help people find us, right?" Sebek asked, pulling out the remaining biscuits from his bag.
"Right," Silver replied without looking back. He straightened out the blanket and frowned.
If anyone's even looking for us.
VII.
Had you stayed behind at the Vanrouge's cottage after Silver embarked on his misadventures, electing to observe Lilia as he went about his day, up to - and including - his ultimate reconciliation with his son, then you would have witnessed the following:
Lilia awoke, as usual, shortly past 7 a.m. He did not own an alarm clock, preferring instead to let his body awaken naturally, gently roused by the golden sunlight filtering through his curtains. He lay in bed for a few moments, wrapped in the warm pleasantries of his blankets and his lingering dreams and the ebbing darkness, yawning leisurely, listening to the song thrushes chittering softly outside his window. Then, with a snap of his fingers, the curtains drew back and fixed themselves into place. That morning was a fine one. Where the sky had been grey and congested the day prior, it had since been painted over in the brightest blue, reminiscent of a stalk of larkspur, with not a single cloud in sight.
For five minutes Lilia indulged in this his usual morning pleasure, before, like clockwork, his reality struck him - he suddenly remembered every vexing instance of his son's tumultuous behavior from the past few months; felt anew all the dull aches and pains tugging at his limbs, felt the impending exasperation of the long list of chores that awaited him that day; each recollection pricked at his mind and his heart as though they were bee stings. He threw off his blankets and sat up with a scowl.
After grabbing a cup of tea, he settled himself at the dining table together with a gardening catalog that had arrived in the mail recently. He flipped through it halfheartedly, circling with a pen any seeds and supplies he planned to purchase for fall, his gaze occasionally drifting away from the pages of colorful produce, wandering over to and slipping out of the kitchen and living room windows. He thus swept through a third of the catalog before noticing the animals' absence in the yard, realizing a moment later that he had yet to see Silver that morning, too. Presuming the boy had slept in again, he waited half an hour further before checking his room, at which point a dull uneasiness had begun to form in his stomach.
The darkness in the little room yawned cavernously as Lilia pushed open the door. The heavy linen curtains were drawn tightly shut; the comforter was pulled up flush against the headboard of Silver's bed, a long lump protruding motionlessly underneath it. His uneasiness exploding all at once in a poisonous concern, Lilia flew across the room in rapid, broad strides, alighting to his son's bedside in an instant. He whispered, his voice slightly trembling, "Are you feeling alright, sweetheart?", and, after receiving no response, reached out to stroke the head of the lump, his lips pulling into a frown as the mass gave buoyantly under his hand. He wrenched back the blankets, stifling a cry as a mound of pillows tumbled out before him. He gingerly picked up one of the pillows and dropped it to the floor again, as though expecting to find his child concealed beneath it.
"Silver!" he shouted, glancing wildly around him, but the only response was his own disgruntled echo.
Frowning again, he put his hands on his hips. Where the hell is he?
Upon completing a thorough search of Silver's room - including his closet, his chest, his hamper, and underneath his bed - Lilia swept through the rest of the house and the root cellar, opening every door, and upturning every piece of furniture he could find, and when this, too, proved fruitless, he continued his efforts outside. He looked in the pig pen and in the chicken coop, checked behind the cow's lean-to and inside the shed, and, for good measure, even stopped to peer inside the empty flower pots in the garden. But each of these places and their inhabitants, whether living or inanimate, offered him no leads, and rejected all his inquiries.
Standing in the middle of the garden, he crossed his arms and considered all the oddities he'd noted that morning. Several items from the house were missing, including Silver's knapsack and crossbow, as well as some candles and other supplies from the kitchen, and the trick with the pillows was one he'd used himself in his youth for late-night abscondments from the castle. All of these observations he could trace back to only one conclusion: This was all just some sort of childish prank.
"That little...!" Lilia grunted, balling his fists. He turned and stepped towards the gate, intending to continue his search in the surrounding woodland, but the sound of the cow's mournful lowing stopped him in his tracks. None of the animals had been fed or watered yet, and the garden was in desperate need of another weeding. After a brief deliberation, he decided he would tend to Silver's chores in his absence, and then, he would return to the cottage, and he would wait - he would not indulge the boy in his games.
Any fatigue he'd felt that morning was immediately flushed out of his body and replaced with a venomous rage. He swept across the clearing like a tempest; the animals scattered before him in terror. He tore open their bags of scratch and grain and threw them to the ground, careless of the waste. He stormed back to the garden and began ripping up the tangled mass of weeds suffocating the ground, tossing muck-covered fistfuls of crabgrass and dandelions over the fence; the pigs, having recovered quickly from their fright, dove noisily for the mess.
His mind raced, his thoughts jumping rapidly between all the different ways Silver's return could occur. Likely, he would try to sneak into the house later that night, coming in either through one of the windows, up through the cellar. Or maybe, made shameless by his caper, he would stroll through the front door, kick off his shoes, and throw his bag to the ground, moving with the bold swagger of a yearling buck. Lilia would be ready for him either way. He would wait for him in the living room, on the couch, facing the door, his arms crossed, his eyes narrowed and blazing. If the boy tried to sneak in, Lilia would hear him. If he came in through the front door, Lilia would see him. If he cried, so be it. If he whined and begged for forgiveness, Lilia would not give it to him. He'd had enough of the child's attitude, his insolence, his unwillingness to talk, his newfound proclivity to brush off each and every act of kindness Lilia tried to offer to him. Perhaps his own parental failures truly were to blame for their ongoing disputes, but he would not allow this blatant defiance to continue a moment longer. He would ground Silver - for a week, at a minimum - double his training exercises, forbid him from seeing Sebek- He crushed a dandelion in his fist. And have him do all the weeding that month! An impish grin flashed across his face as he plotted. The sun beat down on him reproachfully.
Hours later, frustrated and in pain, his clothes caked with dried mud and bits and pieces of crabgrass, he marched back to the cottage and threw himself face-first onto the sofa. He lay there for a few moments, unmoving, before a sharp spasm in his calf forced him to slowly, wearily, sit up. Palpating the now throbbing muscle, he realized in that moment just how much his anger had blinded him. Why didn't I just fucking use magic to do all that? Another stream of profanity poured from his lips.
He sat watching the hour hand of the wall clock slowly inch forward. He rose periodically, to glance out the windows, to refill his tea, to pace back and forth across the living room, his gaze fixed on the front door, his thoughts slowly congealing into the perfect, incendiary speech with which he'd lash the boy upon his return. But Silver did not return, not as noon rolled around, nor as Lilia prepared their dinner. By that evening, the molten rage in his body had cooled, hardening into a tense knot of worry.
Shortly before sunset, just as he'd risen to check the kitchen windows once more, a commotion sounded outside - something heavy was pounding across the clearing, heading rapidly for the cottage. Lilia leapt from the sofa and raced to the door, throwing it open with a scowl, the first in the long list of scathing remarks he'd been preparing for Silver all that afternoon poised on his lips, but both his anger and his relief evaporated when he saw that it was only Baul, rushing in long strides down the dirt path leading to the cottage. As the other man approached him and opened his mouth to speak, Lilia put up a hand to silence him. "Uh-uh, I don't have time for this today. If you're here for-"
"I'm not!" Baul huffed, tiredly swatting Lilia's hand away. "Please just listen to me, General."
Lilia crossed his arms and jut his chin, indicating for Baul to continue.
"You seen Seb today?"
"Sebek? No, I haven't. Why-..." His words trailed off, the answer to his question instantly forming in his mind.
"He's not... Don't tell me you can't find him?"
"We can't," Baul sighed. "We tore up the whole damn house, looked down by the river, all through the woods. Got some of the neighbors out helping us look. We figured he mighta snuck out to go play with your boy, so I came by to check."
"Sorry, but no, I haven't seen any sign of him today." Looking away, Lilia muttered, "...And Silver's gone, too, actually."
"Huh?" Baul's eyes widened in surprise. "Have you looked for him?"
"Of course I have!" Lilia scoffed. "I checked the whole clearing twice over. I'm thinking he just ran off somewhere because I..."
Baul raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, mirroring Lilia.
Lilia rolled his eyes. "He blew up at me the other night and probably just ran off for a while to get back at me. You know how kids are."
His apparent apathy inflamed Baul. He stalked over to Lilia, the dense column of his body twitching as he loomed over his former superior.
"That's it," he snarled, his nostrils flaring like an enraged bull's. "You're coming with me."
"Wha-"
Moving at a speed that belied his great size, Baul threw his arms around Lilia, caging the smaller man in his vice grip. One moment, they were standing in the clearing; the next, the ground disappeared beneath their feet, and the world exploded into kaleidoscopic streaks of color rushing all around them. Caught off guard, Lilia hardly had time to close his eyes before they landed on solid ground again a few seconds later.
Baul released him carelessly and walked away. Lilia slowly staggered after him, clutching his head, his vision swimming.
His quivering eyes concentrated first on the red beam towering before them, then moved to the smaller white block standing beside it. A sudden shift in the breeze carried with it the clean smell of cottonwood. He knew this place - they'd hurtled five miles away to the Zigvolt's home.
"Fucking warn me before you do that!" he hissed. Over the ringing of his ears, his mind vaguely registered several voices - some talking softly, and at least one other crying, but he could not discern amidst his blurry surroundings whom they belonged to.
Baul asked if there'd been any sign of Sebek while he was gone.
A broad green shape came forward and congealed rapidly into Ma Zigovlt. She was dressed in her dental scrubs, her dark green hair pulled back in a fraying ponytail. "No! Nothing!" she cried while pacing back and forth.
The two shapes behind her then revealed themselves to be Pa Zigvolt, also in his work attire, and Iris, sitting together on the steps of the front porch. Iris was weeping quietly, her head buried in her father's neck.
Turning to Lilia, Pa Zigvolt explained that Iris had been left alone to watch her brother that day, and it wasn't until late in the afternoon that she'd discovered him missing, having gone to check his room after he'd failed to appear for both breakfast and lunch. When a frantic search of the house and the backyard proved fruitless, she rushed into town and alerted the elder Zigvolts, who promptly canceled all their appointments for that afternoon to help her look. They rallied the neighbors, forming several search parties to sweep through the surrounding forests and the river, and after several hours of unsuccessful canvassing, it was ultimately Baul who suggested they inquire by the Vanrouge's.
Pa Zigvolt turned again to his daughter, gently squeezed her arm, and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and raised her head from his shoulder, allowing him to descend down the stairs. The family cat, which had been dozing elsewhere on the porch, promptly stood up, stretched, and padded over to Iris, taking her father's place. She scooped the animal into her arms and held it against her chest. She blamed herself bitterly for not noticing sooner her little brother was gone, and had been inconsolable for hours.
"Thank you so much for coming to help, Lilia." Pa Zigvolt said, shaking Lilia's limp hand. He glanced behind Lilia, then behind Baul, before asking, confused, "Where's Silver?"
"He's, erm..." Lilia hesitated, fearing another unpleasant reaction. "He's actually missing, too."
But the Zigvolt parents simply exchanged a silent look with one another, and Ma Zigvolt's voice was only gentle as she asked him to explain.
Lilia proceeded to recount his own experiences that morning, and by the time he finished speaking, the small group was in agreement that the boys had likely snuck away together. As they loitered in the front yard, heatedly discussing their next plan of action, a group of neighbors approached. One of them, an elderly fae known for his avid hunting, stepped forward, waving his hand.
"We found their tracks!"
"You did!? Where!?" Pa Zigvolt asked, his eyes shining in excitement - this was their first lead all day.
"Yessir, two little sets of feet headin' due North," the neighbor explained leisurely, scratching his arm. "We followed 'em a long ways and think we know where they're at. That's the good news."
Their hearts plummeted at his next words.
"Bad news is it looks like they went right into the Obsidian Forest."
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The forest was still, the night air punctuated at times by the sound of Baul softly cursing at the branches and bushes impeding their way.
“I swear, when I find that boy,” he growled as he smacked away another insolent branch, “Ooh, I swear! When I find him, I’m gonna…!”
Lilia rolled his eyes. Baul had never so much as laid an unkind finger on any of his children or grandchildren, and his grumbled threats never resulted in anything more than a glare or a scowl or a frown.
They'd split up, Baul and Lilia forming one search party, Ma and Pa Zigvolt another, each covering their own half of the forest. The Zigvolt's neighbors remained at the house with Iris, ready to send out an alert should the boys return on their own, partly to keep the still despondent girl company, and partly out of a reluctance to come with them.
And so Lilia and Baul, and Ma and Pa Zigvolt, elsewhere, had been canvassing the forest for several hours, intermittently calling out Silver and Sebek's names, with no response other than cricket song or the occasional owl's cry. The bear's tracks - several sets of them, as it were, overlapping one another and forever winding like a loamy, coiled serpent - provided their only guideline, as the plush leaf litter hadn't absorbed the children's much lighter prints.
However, to their great luck - and to Silver and Sebek's misfortune - the boys had misoriented themselves as soon as they'd stepped foot into the forest, for as they'd trudged through the early morning darkness, their senses and their judgment obscured both by the endless shadows and the heavy fear in their hearts, they had failed to notice the numerous times they'd looped around and mistakenly followed a different set of tracks, some which had been laid earlier that week, others at the beginning of the month. The combination of the forest's perfect uniformity, its paucity of light, and its impregnable secrecy had been leading its diminutive invaders astray from the very beginning. As such, the children had only wandered a few miserable miles during their entire journey, and Baul and Lilia did not have to walk very long to find them.
Presently, the direction of the wind shifted, bringing with it the heavy smell of smoke; Lilia and Baul automatically moved to follow it. The spectral grey tendrils, unable to fully penetrate the canopy, congealed, hanging in a bloated cloud above them, through which murky haze the red light of a fire glowed softly in the distance. The men picked up their pace as the light grew stronger; Lilia soon rushed ahead of Baul, breaking into a run. But it was not the fire's glow that urged him on, that guided him, that drew him through that endless darkness - it was the moonlight of Silver's white hair, brighter and dearer to him than any star, that was his beacon.
"Silver!" Lilia shouted.
"Who's there!?" Silver shouted back, whipping his head around. Spotting the two men, his jaw dropped, and he turned to shake Sebek, who'd been dozing on his shoulder. The boys rose, Silver quickly, Sebek groggily, rubbing his eyes in confusion. Before Silver could take more than a few stumbling steps, Lilia ran to him and pulled him into his arms, and for the first time that summer, Silver allowed his father to embrace him. He ducked his head into Lilia’s neck, felt the man's pulse thundering against his skin, felt in turn as his own tempestuous heartbeat finally calmed after so many long hours of strange terror. Overwhelmed, Silver opened his mouth, and he cried.
Watching the pair, Sebek, the poor creature, threw a nervous glance at his grandfather - the man’s stony face was anger itself. The child felt wretched, and he wished for nothing more than to be held. He drifted towards Silver and Lilia, his wet eyes downcast, feeling as guilty as a whipped hound approaching its master. Before he could begin his pleas, Lilia opened his arms and pulled the trembling boy into a hug. He was at once unburdened, and his relieved sobs soon joined Silver’s.
For Silver and Sebek, the men were their heroes in that moment, their guardian angels - two mighty pillars of light within the black maw of that abominable forest. Go ahead, weary children, dry the pearls of your tears against their shining wings. But do not forget – the Lord’s angels must deliver judgment and salvation in turn. Look now as the one takes up his golden scale, and the other his blade.
The interrogation proceeded as follows:
Although the boys had, while waiting for their rescue, vowed not to reveal the true purpose of their mission, fearing the truth would only worsen Silver's predicament, they had failed to devise an appropriate excuse for their disappearance. Caught off guard, they first claimed that they'd merely wandered into the forest on accident, after having lost their bearings in the woodland behind the Zigvolt's property, but Lilia dismissed the claim at once, knowing his apprentices would never dare be so careless.
The boys retracted this statement, drew a few paces away to convene privately, and then offered a new story, one of a monster that had chased them all the way out into the forest.
“What kind of monster?” Baul pressed.
“A scary one?” Sebek shrugged.
A jury of nosy tawny owls convened spontaneously in the trees around them. They balked wordlessly at the children's flimsy defense.
Just then, and by chance, while shaking his head in frustration, Baul noticed that Sebek's hands were trembling. The movement was so subtle, so minor, that it was only perceptible when the breeze shifted towards them, so that the light from the campfire hit the child's hands just so. Baul nudged Lilia with his elbow and jut his chin towards the boy, indicating his tremors. With both men now focusing their gazes fully on Sebek, Lilia asked once more why the boys had gone into the forest; Sebek crumbled immediately under their wrath.
“W-We just… We wanted to go hunt the bear that’s been killing off the livestock so we…”
“…So you snuck off without telling anyone?” Lilia asked.
“Yeah…”
“It’s my fault, sir,” Silver said, stepping in front of Sebek.
“What?” Lilia and Baul replied in unison.
“I was the one who wanted to go. Sebek didn’t wanna come but I made him. Please don’t get mad at him.”
“Silver!” Sebek squeaked. He opened his mouth to object, but Silver silenced him with a pointed glare.
Baul crossed his arms and looked over Silver, directing his gaze at his grandson. “Is that true, Seb?”
“…Y-Yes, sir.”
“God damnit,” Baul hissed. “You damn kids had us tearing up this whole fucking forest just for-”
“Baul, please,” Lilia sighed. “It’s been a long day. Let’s just get the kids back home.”
“Fine!” Baul threw his hands up and stomped off, muttering under his breath.
Lilia clicked his tongue and turned to the children. “You two, put out your campfire and follow us - and be quick. I’ll light the way with my magic.” Sebek and Silver’s pale faces shone faintly in the cold darkness, as white as the moon. They nodded dully, stunned from Baul’s outburst.
Lilia sprinted down the path Baul had taken, calling after the green and white hurricane crashing through the trees ahead.
“Baul, wait!”
“What!” Baul shouted without looking back.
“If you’d just stop for one second so I can apologize to you-”
“Apologize for what!?”
“For Silver!”
Baul finally stopped.
“I’m sorry, General, but what in the actual hell are you talking about?”
Lilia shook his head in exasperation. “Are you kidding me? I’m trying to apologize for what my child did. He caused you and your family a lot of trouble, so I-”
“Oh, for crying out loud. I was standing right next to you when he said sorry. He doesn’t need his damn pappy covering for his ass.”
“I understand that. But regardless, I need to take responsibility as his parent.”
The thick pillar of Baul’s neck tensed as he worked his jaw. “…You really do still think he’s just a little kid, don’t you?”
“What?”
“I said,” he growled, taking a heavy step forward, “you really still think he’s just a little kid. Don’t you?”
“Yes? He’s only thirteen, Baul.”
Baul blinked at him slowly. “You know, I’ll be honest with you. The day you brought that kid home and said you were going to raise him, I thought that was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard in my entire life. But that right there takes the cake.”
Lilia pinched the bridge of his nose. Clinging onto his last, frayed strand of patience, he hissed out through gritted teeth, “Would you please enlighten me to what it is you’re trying to get at?”
Baul spat at Lilia’s feet. His yellow-green eyes blazed like canary diamonds. “Your boy’s growing up, General. He’s becoming a man. The sooner you accept that, the better.”
Lilia scoffed. “You think I don’t know that? I just-”
“Bullshit! You know what I bet?" Baul licked his lips. "I bet you haven't even noticed he's already taller than you now, huh. All that fucking yapping you do, bragging about each and every little fucking thing he does, and not once have I ever heard you mention it.”
Lilia stared at him incredulously. He recognized the taunt - it was the same one Baul had attempted to provoke him with earlier that Summer, but as Lilia opened his mouth to rebuke him, he quickly closed it again, suddenly overcome by an almost paralyzing sense of apprehension. He's not taller than me... right? He tried to recall the last time he'd looked at Silver - truly looked at him, not in anger or in contempt; not as an object of his frustration nor the progenitor of his grievances; not begging him to please tell him what was wrong and to just talk to him already. He realized with a start it must've been months ago, before the sudden change in Silver's demeanor, perhaps around his birthday, or earlier, for he saw nothing more than abstract glimpses flash before his mind's eye, of Silver's back turned to him, of Silver storming away from him, enraged; of Silver snapping at him with heavy tears welling up in his opaline eyes. But still- No, it wasn't possible, he would've noticed. For what were the past thirteen years of him centering his entire life around the child if he had not? What right had he to call himself the boy's father, to claim the child as his son, if he had failed to notice something so monumental? His son was just a young boy with cherubic little cheeks and bright blue-grey eyes, who would beam at him with the most precious little smile - half-crooked, his thin lips pressed into a rosy crescent moon, and that was the truth. 
“That's not...”
Baul roared over him, drowning out the rest of his halfhearted response. “And now he’s sneaking off and lying to you and taking the blame for shit he didn’t do, and you honestly still think he’s just some dumb little brat who needs his pappy to wipe his ass for him!”
Lilia winced at each of his words, as though they were daggers striking his skin. Noticing the other man's sudden trepidation, Baul paused.
"Honestly, you just..." Slowly, he began summoning the patience one required when attempting to convince Lilia Vanrouge of his own failings, and as his anger dissipated, he thought suddenly of his daughter. His expression softened, settling halfway between a scowl and a lopsided smile; his voice softened, too. “I know how much you're hurting here, but my god, you seriously need to get your head out of your ass.”
Baul continued speaking, but Lilia could no longer hear him, could not wrest his attention away from the uneasiness still gnawing painfully at his heart.
Just then, Silver and Sebek emerged from the surrounding thicket, as if beckoned by Lilia's anguish. His gaze flew instantly towards his son.
The boy's face was filthy, covered in a greasy film of sweat and grime and dirt, with pine needles stuck to his forehead and leaf litter entangled in his hair, and a thin line of blood on his cheek where a branch had scratched him. The steely blue-grey eyes peering at him from above the sharpened cheeks evoked an almost hawkish appearance. He was angular, scrawny, gaunt - nigh spectral in the pale glow of the lantern in his hands. Who was this gangly youth? This stranger? Had his mental image of his son been all this time nothing more than an exaggerated caricature, a farce cobbled together months ago, or years, even?
“We got the campfire put out," Silver said, panting, trying to catch his breath. As he raised his arm and drew his sleeve across his wet brow, the pale circle of lamplight suddenly fell upon his father's face. His skin blazed bone white, and his bloodless lips, parted slightly, were frozen in a silent gasp, as though he were dazed; he looked cadaverous. Silver gulped and took a step back. "...Is everything okay?”
"Silver, stand up straight." Lilia's voice curled out into the chill night air like a fine mist, softer than a whisper, yet the pure animosity with which he spoke betrayed the threat underlying his words, so that the boy immediately drew himself to his full height without a second thought.
Lilia stumbled mechanically towards Silver and cupped his face in his hands, swept his eyes down from his chin up to his lips, to his nose, tilted his head back to meet the boy's gaze- Ah! There it was, Lilia felt it, felt the microscopic contractions in the taught fibers of his neck as he yawned his head back, hardly more than a few degrees, scarcely lifting it above his eye level, could almost hear them as they cried out in pain, and yet - he was looking up at his son! Lilia's palms suddenly grew cold despite the warm flesh they cradled; his hands moved on their own, weakly pressing into the face, as if making one final, feeble, desperate attempt to mold it into the infantile visage beginning to rapidly crumble inside his mind. He choked back a quiet sob and dropped his arms to his sides, receding a few steps away, visibly distraught. The whole torturous act had lasted but a mere moment, during which time Silver had stood petrified, as though caught in a trance. He now sluggishly raised his own hand and traced his cheek where his father had touched him. He shivered; his skin felt like ice.
Baul went to Lilia and spoke at him rapidly in fae language – talking too quickly for Sebek’s mind to translate, and wholly incomprehensible to Silver’s – before turning around and walking off.
Lilia stared at Silver again, opened his mouth after a moment, then closed it, deciding he would talk to the boy later, in private. Taking a deep breath, he began telling the children to follow him, but was interrupted by a thunderous crash off in the distance. The three of them pointed their gazes simultaneously to where the sound had erupted - a freshly felled pine tree, behind which stood a black shadow so towering the boys feared for a moment that it was the bear come to ambush them.
However, to their great relief, it was only Ma Zigvolt who stepped out into their lamplight, casually shaking off the pine dust from her hands. Upon spotting her son, her face broke immediately into a wide smile, while Sebek's, in turn, scrunched up as he began to cry.
“Mama!” Sebek wailed.
Ma Zigvolt rushed over and engulfed his small body between her arms. He nearly disappeared underneath her frame. “Oh, thank goodness!” she heaved, swaying gently as the tight coil of her nerves slowly unwound.
“Is everything… Okay…?” Pa Zigvolt panted as he emerged from the darkness of the forest a moment later. He coughed into his sleeve, and then gasped once he heard Sebek’s quiet sniffles floating out from the cage of his wife’s arms. The long search had exhausted him, had strangled his lungs and poisoned his mind with fear, but the boy’s hushed sobs invigorated something within him, rousing a force in his heart greater than even the weariness hanging heavy from his limbs like iron chains. He lurched forward, breathing heavily, taking one shaky step after another, stumbling as he covered a short distance that to him felt like miles. At last, he lifted his leaden arms and wrapped them as far as he could around his wife’s quivering back, collapsing into her with a sigh.
“Oh, thank goodness! Oh, thank goodness!” Ma Zigvolt whispered again and again.
Lilia and Silver watched them from afar. Silver soon looked away, awkwardness prickling at his skin.
Presently, Lilia cleared his throat, announced loudly that he and Silver would be leaving, and, after waiting a moment for Pa Zigvolt to wave them off, he turned to his son, and motioned with his head that it was time to go home.
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Lilia threw himself on the living room sofa with a mangled groan. He and Silver had reached the clearing shortly after midnight, their long trip culminating in several grueling miles of Lilia carrying his exhausted son on his back, trudging almost bent in half for over an hour. He'd set aside Silver's portion of dinner that evening, a plate of sausage links and biscuits that had since grown cold, and this Silver bolted gratefully before excusing himself to take a much needed bath. Consumed with a sudden restlessness, Lilia busied himself while he waited, returning the animals to their enclosures, washing the pile of dishes festering in the kitchen sink, and straightening out the piles of books and toys and other various knick-knacks strewn across the living room. He went to rap his hand on the bathroom door after fifteen minutes had passed, concerned Silver might have fallen asleep in the tub, and, after receiving a quiet response, had staggered back to the living room, where his own fatigue finally struck him.
He clenched and unclenched his hands nervously, occasionally wincing as hot tendrils of pain shot up through his spine and flared out into hips. His thoughts flit rapidly between each of his aching limbs, between the anger, the fear, the sorrow that clouded his mind. While they were walking back home, he could hear Baul's words repeating over and over again, overlapping with Ma Zigvolt's remarks from a few weeks prior, and mixing together with his own, anguished thoughts that had paralyzed him as he'd finally realized how much his son had changed. A part of him, a part that he'd for so long fought to viciously stamp out and silence, knew that Baul was right, and that Ma Zigvolt was right, too. He realized now he just hadn't wanted to admit it.
When Silver at last emerged from the bathroom and came to sit beside Lilia, he did not react at first. The boy - the youth, his child, his son, the stranger - stared at him silently. His eyes, though sharper and slightly narrower than how Lilia remembered them, still bore that same, auroral hue that had first captivated him so many years ago, and he found himself being slowly drawn out of his frantic ruminations as he met Silver's gaze.
Folding his hands in his laps, he took a deep breath, and asked, "Alright, so what's the real reason you did all this? Because you were mad at me?
Silver fidgeted in his seat and nibbled at his lip. His eyes darted to a corner of the living room. "No. I mean, yeah, I was mad at you."
"Over what happened at the dance?"
Silver's gaze jumped to the other corner. "The dance and... other stuff."
Lilia recalled immediately all their quarreling from the past few months, the long days that would pass without Silver uttering even a single word to him, and the even longer nights where he could hear him quietly crying in his room next door. His heart ached for the boy. He reached out to drape his hand over Silver's. “Baby, you know I-“
Silver swatted his hand away and retreated further into his side of the sofa. “You’re doing it again!” he whined, his voice cracking.
"Doing what?"
"You keep treating me like a little kid!"
"You-!" Lilia swallowed his retort with a grimace. Exhaling slowly, he admitted grudgingly, "You're right, I am. And I'm sorry. I'll try to stop doing that."
Silver's jaw dropped open. He couldn't recall his father ever having conceded to him so easily before, if at all. Quickly recovering from his shock, he sat up straight and said, "Umm- I mean, yeah! Please do that." He crossed his arms and nodded sagely, with the air of one who has successfully negotiated for terms that are completely in one's favor.
"Now, I can understand you ran off because of what's been going on recently, but what about your behavior from the past few months?"
Silver uncrossed his arms and tilted his head quizzically. Noticing his confusion, Lilia explained he meant the very same quarrels that Silver had previously mentioned, as well as his sudden adoption of the moniker "Father".
"I dunno." Silver shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, the "Father" thing's 'cause Sebek told me about it a while ago."
Lilia blinked. "Told you about what?"
“He told me… Ah, wait.” Silver straightened his back and puffed out his chest, pointing his eyebrows sharply together like an arrowhead. “He said, “Silver! Why do you continue to refer to your father as “Papa”!? Are you not turning thirteen years old soon? It’s positively childish!”” Deflating into his usual stoic expression, he continued, “And then he told me if I wanted to be a real knight, then I need to hurry and grow up already.”
Biting back an incredulous snort, Lilia summoned as much tenderness his weary body could muster, and said, smiling, "Listen, you don't have to do everything Sebek tells you to, you know. You can call me 'Papa' all you want. If somebody doesn't like that, that's their problem."
"But I don't..." Silver looked away again. His voice dropped to a whisper, as though hoping that if he spoke his next words quietly, they would hurt his father less. "I don't want to."
Lilia's smile vanished. "You don't?"
"Uh-uh."
"...But why?"
"I just..." Silver frowned. "I don't know. You keep asking why I do this and that, but I don't know how to explain it. It's like every time I try to catch my thoughts, they up and fly away from me. And then you just keep on badgering me more and I just get so mad."
Silver had expressed similar sentiments numerous times before over the past few months, but although there were no stunning revelations to be found in his words, no breakthroughs to be made in understanding the transformation in his demeanor, Lilia, for the first time, listened to him. Lilia had stumbled blindly through that whole Summer, feeling as though he were trying to walk across quicksand, ever fearful that the next blowout with his son, that the next new symptom of his strange ailment would lead to some sort of irrevocable, irreparable damage to their relationship, but as he listened, he felt the ground beneath his feet finally, slowly begin to solidify at last.
They quietly conversed for half an hour longer, at which point Silver began to yawn and rub at his eyes, nodding off a few minutes later. Lilia stood up, intending to carry the boy to his room, only to immediately drop down onto the sofa again with a pained cry. Rubbing deep circles into his lower back with one hand, he leaned over and gently shook Silver awake with the other.
"Go on and get to bed. We can iron out your punishment some other time."
"Okay." Silver rose slowly, dragging his feet as he plodded down the hall. Standing before his door, he turned around and stammered, "I love you," before disappearing into his room.
"I love you, too." Lilia replied hoarsely, fighting to speak past the lump in his throat.
With a grunt, he lifted his leaden legs onto the sofa and lay down flat on his back, sighing pleasantly as the worst of his pain began to subside. For over an hour he drifted in and out of a restless slumber, after which he stiffly sat up, and, this time rising without issue, limped quietly across the floor and down the hallway to Silver's room, steadying himself with a quivering hand against the wall.
Silver lay fast asleep, sprawled out face down atop his barren mattress, his blankets and several of his pillows still scattered across the floor from Lilia's frantic search that morning. A soft smile tugged at Lilia's lips. He must've passed out as soon as he lay down, the poor thing. Not trusting he'd be able to stand up straight again should he bend over in his present state, he instead cast a cleaning spell, and watched as the blankets and discarded pillows silently rose from the floor and arranged themselves neatly into place on Silver's bed. His eyes flicked back to Silver as the emerald sparks of his magic began to fade away, but the boy did not stir.
He cupped Silver's cheek, swept his thumb across the warm skin, moved his hand up to his hair, and began picking out the bits and pieces of pine needles and leaf litter Silver had been too exhausted to comb out while in the bath. His thoughts began to wander again while he fussed with a difficult knot.
Loss had accompanied him all his life; it was as regular to him as the changing of the seasons, as inevitable as the mighty storm that had swept across their nation and all the other natural disasters that would someday follow. But when he found Silver, he'd believed, selfishly, foolishly, stubbornly, that here was something, the only other thing besides his own heart, that he would be able to keep for himself, that life could not take away from him. Perhaps therein lay the reason why he had tried for so long to remain ignorant of his son's maturation, why he had fought so desperately to prevent the boy from growing up, from growing away from him. But he knew now that he'd been wrong, for he had split his heart in half long ago - long before he had ever left the castle. One half he had given to Malleus; the other lay before him now, curled up against the palm of his hand, breathing quietly, the moon's silver glow shining faintly in his hair.
And though he did not have a name for it, he could feel as something new was beginning to slip away from him once again, just as the soft strands of moonlight slipped through his fingers.
“And that's okay,” Lilia breathed out with a shudder. “It'll be okay. And I’ll try. I’ll let go.”
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Lilia brought his folding stool into the garden and set it down amidst a semi-circle of empty buckets and baskets he'd arranged between two rows of low bushes, and, after sitting down gingerly, careful not to agitate his back, began picking off handfuls of snap beans from the bush before him. It was the second week of August - time for the Summer harvest at last, and when finished here, he would move onto the squash and eggplants next, then the bell peppers and tomatoes, then the watermelon and strawberries; the sweet potatoes he would leave for Silver to dig up on his own. Having recently satisfied the terms of his punishment, during which period he'd spent several weeks completing additional training exercises and chores every day, Lilia had granted him a short holiday, and he presently lay fast asleep in bed. Though working on his own, he moved quickly, and filled two of his buckets by the time Silver awoke later that morning and approached him in the garden.
He'd already combed his hair and gotten changed, with his knapsack slung comfortably across his shoulder. He'd grown another inch in the past month, and his face seemed miles away as Lilia looked up at him.
“Father, may I visit the Zigvolts?" he said plainly, studying his father's face. "The robins told me Sebek got a new astronomy book he’s been wanting to show me.”
Lilia dragged his sleeve across his wet forehead and nodded. "That's fine. Will you be having dinner there?”
“No, I don’t plan to.”
"Alright."
While Lilia returned to his picking, Silver shifted uncertainly from one foot to the other, his gaze jumping between his father and the forest path beyond their home. After a moment, he licked his lips and asked, “Did you, uh, want me to wait for you?”
Lilia shook his head. He looked up at his son again and smiled.
“No, you go on without me.”
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Song credits
“Twistin’ the Night Away” written and recorded by Sam Cooke
“I Wish You Love” recorded by Sam Cooke, written by Albert Beach
Title is taken from the Hannah Montana song by the same name.
Just for the sake of transparency, some parts of this fic took very heavy inspiration from Marjorie Kinnan Rawling's book "The Yearling", particularly the first two chapters.
119 notes · View notes
im-657-mv · 1 year
Text
the sun and the moon
yandere emperor park seonghwa
word count: 4025
sex scene does occur
amab afab are both included so just continue to scroll down once you get to the mark
Park Seonghwa never wanted a life of the material. Wealth, silks, and jewels were all meaningless in his eyes. It didn't matter that he was an emperor. A ruler who many seemed to adore and drool at the sight of. And it certainly didn't matter if he was constantly paraded and praised either. Gold coins and hand-picked flowers thrown as his horse carried him through the crowd. The people raising their hands in fever calling out his name with passion and adoration.
Park Seonghwa was not a man of leisure or luxury either. He found meaning in the beauty that surrounded him. The everlasting sun and its warm gaze. The moon and its calm blanket that wrapped both him and the night in.
He treasured real things. Love, romance, life. And he's dreamed of it all. The happily ever after, the warmth, the passion. Seonghwa has read countless books and tales of everlasting love. Love that could make the grounds shake beneath them and even make the tides change. Love that is unconditional. Love that exceeds the demands of time and death itself. Park Seonghwa has always wanted that. Not wealth nor power. Not praise nor glory. Just the hand of his lover encased in his own under the gaze of the world.
Since his coming-of-age celebration, his council of seven pressed for a marriage. Whether arranged or not, a bond was needed to make him appear stronger in the eyes of other nations. As pointless as it sounded to him, a spark of hope awoken deep inside him. All the stories engraved in his head were coming forward in his mind. Maybe this was finally the chance for love. True love. Not like the other times when prostitutes or other lowly whores would try to through themselves at him, dreaming of a night with the emperor.
Maybe, just maybe, he could find the person he was made to love.
From this point on he, along with his council, began searching for a person worthy of wedding. But it was only in the interest of the kingdom. It wasn't his love or his heart that were prioritized. They never were. And they never will be.
His dreams of love were destroyed. Day after day he met new candidates bashing their stupid eyelashes or trying to flirt obnoxiously at him in hopes of seducing him. The whole experience was dull, lifeless, and annoying.
How would he ever survive life at this rate? Without the promise of another… his heart couldn't bear that weight. The weight of a thousand gods with the agony of the raging seas abroad.
Seonghwa felt his life slip further and further away. Date after date, piece after piece. Emptier and emptier. Not even the sun brought its warmth. Nor the moon its comfort.
"Love-" He sniffled, "-is a l-lie…" The pure light of the moon lit his path as he walked further and further down into the green meadow. As he braced the harsh cold breeze he felt nothing compared to his aching heart and pounding head.
Tears fell across his red brazen cheeks. Seonghwa looked up, stopping in his tracks, as he gloomed at the seemingly once-perfect moon.
"All I've wanted," His knees buckled harshly into the ground painfully, "was love…" Seonghwa preached as if the moon itself could change that. As if the moon was capable of granting his every wish. It wouldn't hurt if he tried.
Seonghwa closed his wet teary eyes, and put every feeling and every fiber of want need into his wish.
…I wish for true love…
But nothing happened. He reopened his eyes and immediately felt worse than before as he gazed up upon the moon.
"Please…" He whispered desperately, hoping for some response, any response.
His once-full-of-life eyes closed again as the pain of his heart became almost too unbearable to withstand. His hands reached for the ground as he loomed over, curling in a position that made him seem smaller. Like a child, he cried holding himself as if he was made of glass. As if his whole consciousness was shattering. As if his very reality was breaking.
Seonghwa's loud sobs seemed neverending as they dulled out his surroundings. But unknowing to him, a figure slowly approached slowly. Curious, concerned, and ever so worried at the man whimpering before them. A mere stranger whose empathy washed over like a calm crusade of waves against the sand.
"It'll be okay…" Seonghwa didn't even bother to look up. He didn't have the strength to even try.
"How? Wh-when I have no-" Mid-sentence a soothing, and enlightening warm, hand was placed upon his mid-back. Seonghwa's spine tingled and seemed to light up on fire at the simple gesture.
He shifted his lump of a body around towards the affectionate voice of his rescuer, you…
Seonghwa's glistening glazed eyes refocused onto your own. And you were beautiful. Face full of affection. Of love? Of love… You were his wish come true. His gift from the moon. His little moon that came to rescue him from his despair.
But your expression changed all too soon for his liking.
"My Emperor-," You removed your hand and scooted away from him in shock, "Forgive me, my Emperor." You gathered yourself and bowed as low as you possibly could, forehead touching the ground in a sign of deep respect.
It took a while for Seonghwa to register what had happened with his thoughts still caught on your beauty.
"Please- don't be sorry." He whispered so softly that even you had trouble hearing him in the dead silence of the night.
"What's your name?" He murmured.
"Y/n, my Emperor."
Seonghwa hesitated, unsure of the words threatening to break loose from the tip of his tongue.
"Just hold me, Y/n" He whispered as he slowly climbed your way on all fours. A child crawling towards his mother. A lover crawling towards their lover.
You watch as time moved slowly as he made his way toward you. Who were you to deny the Emperor? Even though he appears vulnerable at a time like this, his powerful aura outweighs any words of resistance coming from your mouth.
His head lay on your shoulder as he positioned himself snuggly in between your legs clinging to your warm body.
You were frozen. Especially at the feeling of someone like him right up against you. The Emperor's actions would be deemed more than unorthodox in the eyes of the kingdom and his council. But here he lay in between your legs as if you've known him for centuries.
The fact is you were scared. In this situation, he held all the power no matter his state of mind. A person like yourself, with zero status, could be beaten for touching him like this. If you refused him what would happen to you? What would happen to your family?
All you had wanted this night was a still walk in the moonlight. Instead, you lay on the fresh grass with a powerful man capable of destroying your entire life, cuddling you.
But your consciousness felt somewhat responsible for him now. I mean how can you deny a person, no matter of status, the comfort that they needed?
Slowly you moved your arms around his obviously delicate body, encasing him in your presence. As you did so he moved further into your embrace, molding himself against your skin.
Arms wrapped around each other. Legs entangled upon the moon. And bodies intertwined within each other.
It confused you. An Emperor both great, kind, and strong, now laying here wounded, alone, and desperate. Never in your life would you have expected such a sight before you.
After a few moments of hushing and affirmations falling from your lips to his ears, he had finally calmed down. Your soothing whispers lulling him into a dream-like state.
"My Y/n. My moon." Seonghwa's voice rasped against the stillness of the meadow, breaking the long silence. He shifted his head now looking into your eyes. Your beautiful eyes. With a drag of his hand, he reached to your face cupping it… like a lover would…
The Emperor's eyes sparkled in a way you've never witnessed quite before with anyone else. It was deep and as grand as the mysteries of the night. His lips held a soft smile, pink and plush.
"My beautiful moon." He whispered again, but this time close enough for you to feel his warm breath against the cool of your skin.
"Why do you call me that my Emperor?" You spoke softly under his entrancing gaze afraid to speak any louder. You felt nervous, for the many stories of his appearance do not serve justice to the ungodly sight before you here. Here in the night under the watchful stars and the loving moon itself.
"I've been waiting for my chance of love. All my life dreaming of someone to share my every breath with. Someone to love, hold, and truly cherish unlike any other treasure known to man. The stories I've read cannot describe the feeling of what meeting your soulmate might feel like. But I understand now. Now I've found you. You are my moon as I am your sun. And my love for you will be neverending as so the stars in the sky. My moon, my rescuer, my soulmate."
And with that, he leaned ever so tenderly as he placed his lips to your own. Gentle, warm, and enticing were just a few of the words that came to mind. With the sway of his words and the shift of his lips, you were left unable to think for yourself.
The fears and worries you held close to your source of logic simply faded away as the seconds passed. His hands softly touched your waist and applied light pressure as his passion increased. The Emperor ravished your lips without fear of any consequence which in turn caused you to let go with him.
Unwilling Seonghwa pulled away with a light breathy chuckle that fanned across your blushing face.
"You look so beautiful." He said moving a strand of your hair away from your face.
"Come with me…" Seonghwa stood up pulling you along with a slight force that went unnoticed by you. Willing you followed though, not missing the twinge of fire sparkling deep within his seemingly kind eyes.
“My Emperor-“
“Call me Seonghwa.”
“Yes, Seonghwa.” Your heart fluttered at calling him his true name instead of a title. It made everything more exciting, thrilling, and sincere.
The both of you kept walking together, hand in hand unwilling to let go for even a second. The comfortable silence and the occasional glances at each other made you giggle as Seonghwa led you ways away from where you two once lay.
The place he kept on walking towards was a mystery to you but it didn't matter. Questions, reason, and logic were all thrown out the window the moment his lips touched yours. For some reason, your mind could not think of any red flags, and it wasn't like you wanted to see them anyway.
The way, he spoke about love, true love, had you questioning everything you’ve ever known to be true about it. Of course, you’ve had past relationships before, but none of them measured up to this interaction. Seonghwa had dethroned them all within a single night, within a single kiss.
You too had dreamed of a whirlwind romance. Something out of fairytales laced with eternal love that lasts longer than life itself. Was this it? Was this the romance you’d dreamt of? Was Seonghwa your meant to be? But it felt all too good to be true…
The castle was within a few minutes of walking and you finally seemed to snap back awake from your trance. What was happening? Confusion formed on your face as your grip on Seonghwa's hand loosened.
But he felt it. His grip tightened harshly as you hissed in slight pain at the new pressure applied. All he did though was turn his head towards you in an innocent smile that reached all the way up to his eyes.
"Seonghwa-"
"Yes, my love."
"Can we please stop?" You whispered clearly, but all he did was chuckle in response as he tugged you alongside him.
"Seonghwa-"
"Just wait, we're almost home." He cheered happily, tightening his hold on you even more so, as he deliberately ignored your plea.
"Seonghwa I said can we stop, please? I don't think this-"
With a one-eighty turn, he faced you with a craze in his eyes that shut you up immediately. You tried to pull back to get him to lose his hold on you, but he just stared you down.
"Seonghwa I have a family. A home. I- I don't even know you that well. We just met. I-."
"You think I care? You are my love. My gift from the moon." He said with a fire burning his tongue and eyes that began to water again.
"I had wanted love since the moment I was born " He whispered as a crazed smile formed under the moonlight. "You are for me to love. And we are going to live together and love each other and be together until this world burns." Seonghwa chuckled as he took light steps towards you searching your eyes for any reciprocation.
"I love you, Y/n. I love you so, so, so much."
Your breathing increased as you tried to walk back from him as he took the same steps toward you. Seonghwa's deathly grip on your hand remained as he continued his I love you's-
"You are my soulmate, Y/n. You can't just leave me. You can't just leave me after the moon gave you to me. Can't you see we are meant to be? Even the sun and moon say so. Even the gods have to agree." Your eyes widened as he kept on talking about your fate together. But all you could think of was your family, your home, your life.
"Seonghwa please, just let go and we can talk about this-"
"No!" He yelled with a new fever as he animalisticly lunged for your other arm to entrap, but you had moved out of the way causing him to plunge to the ground, letting your hand go in the process. With a new sense of urgency, you fucking booked it trying to get as far away as possible from him.
"Don't leave me!" Seonghwa roared as he got up quicker than expected. Your heartbeat increased as you tried to quicken your feet to go faster.
"You can't leave me, Y/n!" Seonghwa yelled as his speed dramatically increased. Not even two seconds had passed as you heard his heavy footsteps behind you. You tried to speed up but it was too late.
With the speed of light, Seonghwa leaped forward catching your body as he took you down with him. As you both tumbled to the ground, Seonghwa slithered upright pulling your ankles back to him as he got on top of you and straddled your body, caging you with his weight.
"You are not fucking leaving me." He whispered aggressively, panting as he grabbed the sides of your head, making sure you were looking at him.
You struggled underneath him for a few moments before deciding to give up. He was obviously stronger than you and it was pointless to try. With a loss of hope, you began to cry as you tried to pathetically remove his dirty hands from your face.
"Sh sh sh shhh-" He whispered lovingly, forcefully as he pressed his face against your own like a cat marking its territory.
"My moon. My moon. My moon. My moon." Seonghwa repeated as he nuzzled your face moving to your neck breathing your sweaty musk in.
"I am going to love you." A kiss.
"And adore you." A kiss.
"And please you." A kiss.
"Until the gods have to rip me away from you," Seonghea whispered against your neck as he sucked making sure to nip at your skin leaving a purple-red mark in its place.
"Seonghwa… Please…" You begged with tears falling from your eyes. But he never stopped. His hands skid across yours pushing them into the ground above your head. You felt so helpless, so pathetic as he laced every inch of your face and neck with kisses and hickies.
"My. Precious. Moon." He looked down at you admiring you, his work of art, his gift.
With adoration and love, Seonghwa started to undress slowly under the loving moon, never taking his eyes off yours. And once that was completed he undressed you too, slowly pealing every layer off your body. He was so proud you didn't even fight him on it. You must love him too then.
"You look so beautiful, Y/n." He whispered as he trailed new kisses against your body. This time was different though. Instead of your neck he trailed them down to your chest leaving more marks on your body.
Seonghwa moved to your nippled playfully suckling it as his hand gave attention to the other one. You hated it. You hated yourself even more so for enjoying it.
His delicate tongue danced across your skin in a way that no one else even came close to. And as his mouth traveled further and further down south, you couldn't help but anticipate with lust the things that were about to take place, under the stars.
amab
Seonghwa gripped your waist with such feeling as his mouth reached closer and closer to your half-hardened dick. But all he did was stare. Not at your face, not into your eyes, but at it. And his eyes had a hunger like no other brewing in him that you knew was bound to explode any second.
With love-crazed eyes, his mouth opened slightly blowing gently in order to elicit a response from you. As you shivered at the action, Seonghwa started to place light butterfly kisses all around, not missing a single inch. And within a few seconds, your cock was hard, leaking pre-cum, and waiting with eagerness at the thought of his pretty mouth touching the very thing that was now painfully aching.
"Your dick is so pretty, baby." He whispered, warm breath fanning across it as it twitched in return.
"Seonghwa…" You manage to breathe out, unable to focus on anything other than the man in between your legs, and the throbbing sensation now overwhelming all your other senses.
"It hurts doesn't it, baby," Seonghwa whispers moving up back to your mouth, passionately kissing and exploring it. You moan into the kiss wanting everything he can offer and more.
With light fingers, Seonghwa traces the tip causing a gasp to escape your mouth with ease.
"Let me help you, Y/n." His light traces are replaced with a slow tantalizing grip moving up and down too slowly.
"Make me feel good, Seonghwa." You manage to moan breathlessly out for him.
"Anything for you, my moon." And with that, he returns to your hard problem, trading his hands for his pretty mouth making you release a guttural sound at the feeling.
His tongue, his mouth, and his movement felt all too good. And with every passing second his pace fastens causing you to grip the grass as the pleasure increases overwhelmingly so.
Seonghwa's tongue swirls and licks your dick as his mouth fastens around your throbbing cock and at this point, you can't hold anything back anymore.
Groans, moans, and other gutturals escape without caution from your mouth and you can tell that he's enjoying it too. Your hips start to move at the pace he sets and you can't help but buck into his mouth, fucking it in the process. The tightening coil in your stomach feels as if it's going to rupture into Seonghwa's beautiful mouth.
Faster and faster Seonghwa goes, placing his hands on your hips to keep both you and him steady. More and more moans spill from your mouth as you're about to come undone. With one last thrust and one last lustful suck, you spill your seed into his hungry mouth going dizzy as the stars blur together.
Breathless and light-headed you stare up at the moon eyes closed and a shaking mess as Seonghwa continues to suck your dick, making sure to milk you dry, taking every last drop for himself.
As he finishes his feast, he comes back up and kisses you passionately again as he lays to rest on top of you.
"We are going to live happily ever after, my Y/n," Seonghwa whispers. And at this point, you can't even think about the consequences of your actions. Nothing is in your mind other than the pleasure that occurred and the sleepiness that takes a toll.
afab
Seonghwa gripped your waist with such feeling as his mouth reached closer and closer to your core. But all he did was stare. Not at your face, not into your eyes, but at it. And his eyes had a hunger like no other brewing in him that you knew was bound to explode any second.
With love-crazed eyes, his mouth opened slightly blowing gently on your wet cunt in order to elicit a response from you. As you shivered at the action, Seonghwa dipped his face further in between your legs breathing in your aroma, breathing in your lust. It was becoming unbearable as his nose brushed upon your clit every few seconds. You were aching at the simplest of touches.
"Your pussy is so pretty, baby." He whispered, warm breath fanning across it as it groaned in return.
"Seonghwa…" You manage to breathe out, unable to focus on anything other than the man in between your legs, and the throbbing sensation now overwhelming all your other senses.
"It hurts doesn't it, baby," Seonghwa whispers moving up back to your mouth, passionately kissing and exploring it. You moan into the kiss wanting everything he can offer and more.
With light fingers, Seonghwa traces your slit, moving up and down, causing a gasp to escape your mouth with ease.
"Let me help you, Y/n." His light traces are soon replaced with his starved mouth making sure to lick up all the essence that you produce.
"Make me feel good, Seonghwa." You manage to moan breathlessly out for him.
"Anything for you, my moon." And with that, he returns to your aching problem, trading his slower movements for more sharp and precise ones using his talented tongue to make guttural sounds escape your mouth.
His tongue, his mouth, and his movement felt all too good. And with every passing second his pace fastens causing you to grip the grass as the pleasure increases overwhelmingly so.
Seonghwa's tongue swirls and licks your needy cunt as he continues to ravish you.
Groans, moans, and other gutturals escape without caution from your mouth and you can tell that he's enjoying it too. Your hips start to move at the pace he sets and you can't help but buck into his mouth, fucking it in the process. The tightening coil in your stomach feels as if it's going to rupture into Seonghwa's beautiful mouth any time soon.
Faster and faster Seonghwa goes, placing his hands on your hips to keep both you and him steady. More and more moans spill from your mouth as you're about to come undone. With one last lick and one last lustful suck, you orgasm seeing the stars blur together in a dizzy whirlwind.
Breathless and light-headed you stare up at the moon eyes closed and a panting mess as Seonghwa continues to lap up your essence, making sure to drink it all, taking every last drop for himself.
As he finishes his feast he comes back up and kisses you passionately again as he lays to rest on top of you.
"We are going to live happily ever after, my Y/n," Seonghwa whispers. And at this point, you can't even think about the consequences of your actions. Nothing is in your mind other than the pleasure that occurred and the sleepiness that takes a toll.
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bunsunee · 1 year
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summery: a bunch of personal/general headcanons of the mighty geo archon, rex lapis, or now known as zhongli!
warnings: obvi nsfw
a/n: SORRY ABOUT IT BEING SO SHORT I HAVE LITTLE IDEAS RN!! 😭😒
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SFW
Zhongli is very much a gentleman even before he relinquished his title and gnosis always treating the people among liyue kindly even if they are incredibly rude. It was something the ex-archon just couldn't help as he was a very patient man and a very kind individual. This didn't change even if you were a man or woman. it was just common etiquette to treat others how they wanted to be treated.
Zhongli outwardly deceives people with the idea he has no money to his name, it was a innocent gesture given he wanted to fit in among the mortals, but truth be told he isn't bankrupt in the slightest. he had enough mora to be a sugar daddy to thousands of people but he didn't wish to flaunt wealth within his nation. It was unruly and incredibly rude towards the daily merchants to just flaunt his own wealth. it doesn't stop him from occasionally helping some unlucky soul get back on their feet. he couldn't bare the sight of people living on the streets. maybe he wasn't human but he had a heart for sure.
Zhongli is definitely sugar daddy material don't even try to change my mind. Zhongli would spoil you rotten with things you simply just talk about liking just because he loves you so. Usually he doesn't mean to end up in a sugar daddy scenario but he can't help himself when his sugar baby is so needy, his willpower caving to the pout on your face. You want that cute little dress you keep talking about? Honey he has it in your wardrobe the next day. Maybe you want that new computer to play with your online friends? He's getting you one but with two monitors but don't neglect him because of your silly online friends. His baby deserves the best and he makes sure you knew that.
Zhongli is a family man at heart as he is dreaming of the day he could start one of his own. He would love to be able to come home to his little munchkins happily babbling as they perked up to their father returning home. He didn't care how long it took as it would be worth it in the end. Out of the two of you he has the most dominant genetics so it's expected to your children to have features similar to that of the ex-archon. if not then he comes up with other solutions he wasn't the geo archon for nothing after all.
Zhongli is surprisingly a very adventurous and kinky lover as he isn't human. there is no humane limit to what he can and cannot do. there is certain things that do cross the line of comfort but that is understandable.
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NSFW
Zhongli admittedly has a high sex drive and a incredible amount of stamina as he is draconic. For your safety and comfort he would never push you to do more than one round unless you want to go farther. if that is the case with your consent he is able to go until morning as he lust is insatiable specially when it comes to you.
Zhongli is fond of dressing you up for him in cute and slutty little outfits just for him. you'd often be found in something cute like this. He loves buying things you like and seeing that little excited face you always express. He has to hold back from tearing the fabrics apart as he didn't want to ruin your beloved outfits.
Zhongli, being draconic, has a mating cycle that comes in full force in a specific part of the year. He becomes territorial and extremely possessive over what he thinks is his treasure, that would be you, often hoarding his treasure to himself selfishly. He becomes so needy and slightly whiny but still manage to uphold that dominance he had. Please don't get upset at him! it's only his instincts that take over he truly loves you too much. He makes a nest out of pure instinct, his willpower at a all time low, wanting to breed you until you carried his children. if you say no, he'll understand but be dejected about it. if you say yes he'll not be holding back anymore.
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the-broken-truth · 3 months
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When will you post the second part of Your Highness - Jamil Viper [Female Yuu] [Heiress Yuu] [Smug Jamil?]?
Broken (Smirking while holding the story in my clawed hand): You must be psychic or something! I was working on this when I noticed that I received this ask! Oh, I guess I have no right to hold onto this. Please, enjoy, Shadow Pup.
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Your Highness - Jamil Viper [Female Yuu] [Heiress Yuu] [Smug Jamil?] [Part 2]
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Summary: As Jamil adjusts to his new royal role, an intriguing guest arrives at the Asim Estate, and the Viper Family’s lives are forever changed.
Note: This Chapter is centered around the Viper Family, a few days after Jamil spoke to his sister, Najma.
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[The Land of Scalding Sands - Asim Estate: Entrance - Around 8 in the Morning]
This morning, Najma's father woke her up with a serious look on his face. He informed her that Mr. Asim had requested the entire Viper Family to attend a meeting with a very important guest at the Asim Estate Entrance Hall. This meeting was their top priority, and all their other duties were put on hold. The tension was high as they went to breakfast, with everyone wondering what Mr. Asim wanted to talk to them about. Najma overheard a phone call between Mr. Asim and the 'Advisor of the [L/N] Royal Family', which she thought was a joke at first. Now she wasn't so sure. She had never heard of the [L/N] Royal Family or the [Kingdom Name] Kingdom before, and her heart was racing as she wondered what was going to happen.
Would the Viper Family finally be free?
Najma and her parents stood in their finest attire, hands clasped behind their backs, flanked by Mr. Asim, several servants, and a distinguished gentleman, clutching a small folder. Promptly at 8 o'clock, they gathered at the entrance of the Asim Estate, eagerly awaiting the arrival of a sleek black limousine. As it pulled up before them, the driver emerged and opened the door for another impeccably dressed man, carrying a large case adorned with a stunning golden crest, encrusted with black and clear diamonds, and rubies fashioned in an unfamiliar emblem. The gentleman adjusted his glasses and spoke to the group with a clear, confident voice.
"Good Morning, Mr. Asim." The man looked towards the Viper Family as a smile appeared on his face, "Am I to assume that you are the Viper Family?"
"We are, indeed, Sir." Najma's Father said with a bow of his head, his wife and daughter following suit. The unknown man smiled at them once again before turning his gaze to Mr. Asim and a stoic look took hold of his face.
"I am Maxwell Crofton - The Royal Advisor of the [L/N] Royal Family of the [Kingdom Name] Kingdom. We spoke on the phone a few days ago, Mr. Asim." The Advisor, Maxwell, introduced him before looking at the folder in Mr. Asim's Hand before exhaling. "As we have discussed on the phone - I am here to discuss the Liberation of the Viper Family from the Control of the Asim Family. I currently have the item you have requested, unless your terms and conditions have changed."
"My terms have remained the same. When you explained that you possessed such an item, one that has not been seem in the Land of Scalding Sands in thousands of years, I knew that I had to make it mine. If you truly have it with you, I will gladly uphold my end of the deal." Mr. Asim said.
"Very well. Let us get on with business." Maxwell snapped his fingers and the driver walked over to him, allowing Maxwell to hand him the case which the driver held in a presenting manner as Maxwell undid the latches that kept the case closed and held his hand on the lid, "Just as we agreed, these items are found in no other place and were national treasures to the [L/N] Royal Family, but they were willing to part with them in exchange for the freedom of the Viper Family. I present to you: The Magic Steel Dagger and Black Diamond Mage Stone."
Maxwell opened the case and revealed a very elegant dagger within a case as well as a Mage Stone crafted from a Black Diamond - the Rarest Diamond in Twisted Wonderland. Mr. Asim snapped his fingers and the well-dressed man he had with him pulled out an inspection monocle and looked over the Mage Stone and Dagger before gasping and turning to Mr. Asim with continuous nods of his head.
"These... These are genuine, Sir! These are not counterfeits!" The Man said, causing Mr. Asim and the Vipers to look wide-eyed at these works. Maxwell closed the case and locked it before holding his hand out to Mr. Asim, silently telling him to uphold his end of the deal before he obtained what he desired. Mr. Asim exhaled and turned to the Viper Family, opening the folder, and pulled out a piece of paper...
A Contract.
The Binding Contract that linked the Vipers to the Asim in eternal servitude.
Mr. Asim placed his hands on top of the contract before speaking to the Vipers, "On this day, at this moment, I make this decree: The Viper Family are released from their contract and their servitude to the Asim Family is no longer valid. As of this moment, The Vipers are free and independent." With that, The Head of the Asim Family ripped the contract in half and torn the contract in half before dropping it to the ground; the two halves of paper burning away into nothing. The Viper looked at the ashes on the ground before they were blown away into the wind.
They were free.
The Viper Family was finally free.
"Now then. Viper Family, please return to your former quarters and retrieve any and all belongings of yours. You shall be moved from this place and relocated to the Lands of the [Kingdom Name] Kingdom to Viper Palace." Maxwell explained as the driver gave Mr. Asim the case, containing his end of the deal.
"Viper...Palace?" Mr. Viper questioned.
"Of Course, Sir. The Vipers will be given a palace that fits their new status as Royals and land of their own considering that His Highness Jamil Viper is expected to be the next Crowned King. I humbly suggest you start packing now - it's going to be a long journey back to our kingdom, Your Lordship & Ladyships." Maxwell explained with a bow of his head.
Najma and her parents were frozen for a while before they returned to their former rooms in Asim Palace and retrieved their belongings before the driver opened the limo's back door for them and waited for all of them to enter before he closed the door and returned to his position in the driver seat before he started to drive away - Najma watched from the back window as Asim Palace, and the life as a servant she once knew, grew further and further away.
The reality finally sank in.
Najma Viper and her Family were now free and they were royalty. She needed to call her brother.
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"What?!" Jamil yelled into his phone, causing everyone in Scarabia's Lounge to look at him with shock before he excused himself and went to his room, asking Leonardo and Issac to remain outside, before closing his door and lifting the phone back to his ear then speaking his piece, "You need to repeat what you just said, Sister."
"It's just as I said, Brother - The Liberation of the Viper Family has finally come. The Advisor of the [L/N] Royal Family came to Asim Palace this morning and gave up two of the Royal Family's National Treasures - A Magic Steel Dagger & Mage Stone crafted from a Black Diamond. After confirming everything was legit, Mr. Asim declared that we were now free and independent before tearing up our Servitude Contract right in front of us. It turned into ashes - RIGHT IN FRONT OF US! We ar currently making our way to the [Kingdom Name] Territory to Viper Palace."
"By the Seven... This has to be some kind of dream." Jamil whispered to himself, but Najma pulled him out of it.
"This is not a dream, Jamil. We are free. We are finally free. We are on our way to our palace to live the rest of our lives as royalty. Your Fiancee...she's done so much for us and she's not even married to you, yet! The fact that she has done this shows how much she cares for you and our family.
"Video call me on MagiCam when you arrive at the palace... I need to know this is real - I need to see my family in this palace!" Jamil told his sister.
"I'll call you when we arrive at Viper Palace... Jamil. Please, treat her right."
Once his sister hung up, Jamil looked at his phone before sitting on the edge of his bed, running his hand through the bang of his hair, trying to understand what his sister just told him and what he would see when his sister video called him.
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[MAGICAM NOTIFICATION: INCOMING VIDEO CALL FROM NAJMA VIPER]
[ACCPET CALL] [DECLINE CALL]
[CALL ACCEPTED]
[CONNECTING... CONNECTED]
[Najma's Face appeared on the screen, her eyes wide and tears running down her face with a large grim that would put Che'nya to shame. Najma said nothing at first as she pressed the button to view through the front camera: Revealing the massive structure that was Viper Palace which put Asim Palace to shame.]
"What in the name of the Seven?" Jamil gasped before his sister's voice rang out.
Najma: Jamil, we just arrived and... I don't know what to say. It's real. All of it is real! The palace is fully furnished! We have servants waiting for us hand and foot! Jamil, I'm a Countess, now!
"Sister, calm down...' Jamil tried but his sister was not listening to him.
Najma: HOW CAN I RELAX, JAMIL?! OUR FAMILY IS FREE AND WE ARE ROYALTY NOW! YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE A KING, HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO STAY CALM?!
"Honestly... I am trying to hold it together." Jamil said.
Najma: This Palace is so massive! I've lost Mother and Father in here. Servants are bowing to me with each corner I turn! I recently found the treasure vault - it's overflowing with riches! Merely 10% of the Royal Family's Wealth! They wanted to make sure we were set for life and...and... Jamil, they gave use Royal Rings, showing that we are actually royals!
Servant: Countess Viper. Please, forgive me for interrupting your conversation with His Highness Jamil, but your parents wanted me to inform you that dinner was served.
Najma: Okay. I will be there.
[The Servant bows and walks away.]
Najma: Your Fiancee has freed us and given us the life we have dreamed of. I swear to the Seven, Jamil: If you doing ANYTHING to break her heart or make her disappointed, I will hunt you down. I need to go. Good Night, Brother.
[VIDEO CALL HAS ENDED]
Jamil looked at his phone before dialing another number and placed the phone to his ear. The person picked up after 3 rings, but Jamil spoke before they could, "My Diamond, we need to meet. Right. Now."
[END]
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Something about worldbuilding in fantasy in particular that might be contentious by its inclusion--there are strong arguments to exclude it entirely and make everything clean and sensible--is that in real history you frequently see nations and their institutions drift and change such that things just make a little bit less sense.
Like, in the late Roman Republican army, their infantry included "Spearmen" that didn't carry spears, the "First line" that stood second in the order of battle, and the elite battle-hardened veterans whose ideal role in battle was to do nothing. Later on they had "grain counters" that were one of the primary intelligence agencies and a "salt allowance" that was just money, and eventually "palace guards" that were just heavy infantry that likely never saw the palace.
Likewise, if some future writer wants to make a US-inspired setting, they're probably gonna be tearing their hair out wondering why treasurers guarded the President, most 'airmen' never touched a military airplane, and "Marines" were deployed by the hundred thousands to a landlocked desert.
Again, it's not something that's vital in a setting but it adds a certain feeling of depth to a given society, a shorthand that tells the reader "This nation has a long and dynamic history that it's been evolving through no matter how much it presents itself as gloriously immutable"
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sheep-from-rad · 2 years
Note
Imagine sagau cult au except reader is the protag in the song zange mairi KSHDJSBS
Zange Maire SAGAU Notes: Inbox tackle! Inbox tackle! So like RIP me, I overlooked my schedule and then the last thing I know is that tomorrow is my 4th year college enrollment. Oh well…fuck :D Warnings: yandere (this is normal but like I need to add warning like this for some people) Masterlist
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‘What is a god without power?’ 
The proper question to ask was ‘What is a long path without a clear destination?’You do remember falling from the sky but instead of falling to the ground and breaking all your bones, an anemo slime prompt caught your form and delivered you to safety. Well, Teyvat for you was safe at first until their true nature came knocking at your door. You fixed the mask you donned as you carefully stepped on top of the serpent’s skull. 
Yashiori Island is a dangerous island to be in and having you finish the quest to calm the storm made its bite just a little weaker. Your steps made a few creaking sounds akin to the thunder that once raged through the island but it wasn’t loud enough to disturb the child (Kid Kujirai) who stood at the mouth of the skull and was still waiting for someone to play with him. You don’t mind playing and interacting but you already lost trust in the world to begin with. 
You took a seat on the snout of the serpent, keeping one of your legs folded and the other on the side so you can get up fast. What is a god without power? It is one question that never once phrased in your head. Not until you were suddenly thrusted into this world and not until you learnt that your beloved characters already had your life planned for you. 
You placed a few dandelions on your side, a foreign flower in an eternal land. Dandelions are said to grant wishes but until the stray souls in Yashiori, no loved ones of yours are getting your wish to be carried by the wind. You watched the dandelions float gently on the breeze before carefully descending  from the skull. 
Nothing much changed when you first step foot in Teyvat, enemies are still enemies, some just happened to have a change of mind like the slimes. If you get spotted by maddened samurais and treasure hoarders, you can trust the fatui to protect you but you can never trust them not to try and take you. 
You quietly opened your wing glider and flew yourself to the nearest waverider. Without the game’s UI or a handy watch, it is nearly impossible to tell what time it is. It might only be 10 pm but you don’t want to risk getting caught under the sun. 
The waverider paddled fast in the waters with its windows open. The remaining dandelions on your hand got carried by the strong winds that sailing gave. The boat finally made a stop at the back of your current resident for this month until given notice, Tenshukaku. You’ve always envisioned entering Inazuma and wandering through the brightly lit streets but right now the back of the islands are the safest for you. You debated with yourself for a moment before deciding to climb the rock formation instead. You can always use the thunder sakura boughs to propel yourself up but that will just risk your safety. 
“I heard the harvest was good last time. My children are still fed even though the salary system is a bit slow. I hope next month’s harvest will be as good as the last time!” 
“For sure our highest god is here in our nation after all. I heard that they left Liyue twice flourishing when they resided there for a little while.” 
You bit your lip bitterly. There is no god, you just happened to be the unlucky player that is playing the game. Without the player’s controls you have nothing to protect yourself with. You can only rely that a playable character is near you to keep you safe. You don’t have the power to bless the lands, it was the work of the dendro and hydro users. The flourishing farms and the fish filled lakes are all their works and not of yours. 
‘What is a god without power?’ You successfully climbed the back fence of Tenshukaku only to be greeted by two pairs of purple eyes. You forgot puppets doesn’t sleep and Sara is always at her beck and call. “Your grace, you’re not a cat and it’s not safe for you to be outside.”  The answer to the question in your opinion, a god without power is nothing but a prisoner for its followers.
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Taglists: @chihawari / @tinandabin
@zuri-feather / @eccedentesiast-sapphic
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an attempt to summarise my TPOTD thoughts
YAZ/MANDIP:
mandip gill, i love you forever. her acting in the scene where thirteen's hand starts glowing? i will be haunted by that forever, congratulations. girl knows how to cry.
yasmin fucking khan, best companion. BEST companion. she saved the doctor, she got everyone together, she took the lead when she needed to, she piloted the TARDIS when it counted (the fact that she still had her post-it notes 🥺) she really became the doctor when the doctor was gone. loml.
yaz carrying the doctor will never ever stop being so amazing. ever. i'm convinced she kisses thirteen on the cheek also. fight me.
THASMIN:
SPEAKING OF KISSING. there was a noticeable lack of it. to be fair, it wasn't NECESSARY. i do think we, and they, deserved it though. also see this parallel? rude.
i can get over the no-kiss, eventually. i cannot get over the no hug!!!!!
and i ABSOLUTELY CAN NEVER GET OVER the fact that yaz wasn't allowed a proper reason to leave the TARDIS. you know how we've all been saying 'i can't see any reason for yaz to leave the TARDIS willingly', guess what, NEITHER CAN CHIBS!!!! 😭
but seriously, it didn't need much. all it needed was an extra 2 minutes of just thasmin and i'd have nothing bad to say about this episode.
if they'd just added a couple of minutes at the end of yaz explaining to the doctor how much she loves her (onto that in a minute) but how she doesn't feel like she can stay when she'll look at 'MY doctor' and see someone else, especially after the master thing.
MORE THASMIN:
so, i'm actually quite pleased with what thirteen said to yaz. the 'my hearts are so full of love of all of you' was a bit like,,,, yes i know the fam need a shout-out but don't be scared BBC, she's allowed to just love yaz too. same with 'and she is loved', like always it has to be from the fam, not just from yaz.
however, the next line, 'i have loved being with you, yaz' was BRILLIANT. that's the closest we're gonna get for a while to the doctor actually saying 'i love you' and i think yaz understands that too.
what i DIDN'T like was the fact that it didn't go 'i have loved being with you, yaz' 'i love you too, bighead' or something similar. because yaz never got to tell the doctor her feelings. dan did a great job, sure, but she never got to vocalise them, and i wish she did.
sure, she spent the whole episode DEMONSTRATING that she loves the doctor, arguably the whole last 3 seasons. but i wish she'd got to say the words. the opportunity was right there.
REGEN:
the regeneration was beautiful. again, same as with thasmin. what we were given was 10/10, BUT we should have been given a bit more!!! thirteen deserved a slightly longer speech, i don't think it necessarily had to be super long, but maybe a little more than what she got.
her last line was perfect though. i wouldn't change a thing. 'doctor whoever-i-am-next. tag, you're it.' PERFECT thirteen.
her regeneration's tone kept in-line with the past too. the doctor growing up. from ten's 'i don't want to go' to eleven accepting it but being very very sad, to twelve using it as an opportunity to shape his next self, to thirteen not only accepting it, bu embracing it. seeing one last sunrise. taking it as something beautiful. because it was.
CLASSIC STUFF:
THE RETURNING DOCTORS WERE PERFECT. i was worried they wouldn't be able to find a natural way to put returning characters in and it would feel clunky, but it was flawless.
i'd heard rumours about five, six, and seven, but one and eight were totally unexpected. paul mcgann, national treasure. plus jo martin!!!!! she wasn't there for long but it was very her, very badass, plus i loved the fact that it was yaz's idea (more on that later too)
returning companions also, damn. i was not expecting that at all. when i saw graham i was like 'ahhh so this is their big surprise, i'll pretend to be shocked, ahhhhh' BUT THEN. i loved it.
CATBOY RASPUTIN:
ok, it's been long enough. it is time to talk about the master.
flawless. perfect. i genuinely would not change a thing about it. (for now at least, maybe i will when i think about it more)
the rasputin dance break was iconic. there was no need for it. but it was there. it was glorious. i can never listen to rasputin again.
i almost don't care that we didn't get the next doctor in thirteen's outfit, because sacha dhawan in that outfit, earring and all, was spectacular. honestly, brilliant. i didn't think they'd go there but they did.
the concept of the master regenerating into the doctor. o o f . there's some very clever things to be said and meta to be written about that, but i don't have the brainpower rn, so hopefully someone else will.
i will admit, when sacha regenerated into the doctor, my brain immediately went 'fuck, no, we're gonna have a lot less jodie screentime now', but honestly it was okay. the scenes of her with classic doctors plus the hologram stuff made sure she was still around enough.
CATBOY MASTER. ENOUGH SAID.
MISCELLANEOUS OTHER THOUGHTS:
ace and seven getting closure!!!!! yay!!!!!!
the adric mention and 'brave heart, tegan' was lovely
the fact that yaz said to ruth 'the last time i saw you, you were a tour guide in gloucester' was funny. but, it means something quite sad really. the doctor never told her about the timeless child stuff, or division. or if she did, she left out some major details. the end of the vanquishers is one of my favourite scenes, and it's sad that they didn't give her the chance to follow through with 'i want to tell you everything'. but who knows, if big finish wants to give us that one day, i'll be happy.
the hands in the 'you saved my life' scene. stunning. there was no need for the glass though. let them touch BBC it's okay.
yaz carrying the doctor. yeah, i've said it already, but that scene was genuinely stunning.
the doctor seeing yaz's face, smiling, and closing her eyes. she should have said 'my yaz', paralleling the 'my fam' at the end of S12, but sure. in my head, she said it.
thirteen being trapped in the dalek!!!!!!! the clara parallels!!!!!!!!!!!!! when they said 'open the casing' a good 78% of me was going 'cLARA CLARA CLARA CLARA CLARA' but yeah. i liked that.
i realise i haven't said much about jodie (that's a first) and honestly i have nothing more to say that i haven't already said. how can anyone feel anything but love for her. she and mandip are brilliant. easily my favourite actors ever. easily.
they should have kissed man, chibnall you fucking coward.
to summarise: what we got was perfect. i mean, genuinely. like, every scene of that episode, i adored. but there was a 2 minute scene missing. a two minute scene, my version of which i will probably write at some point as i'm sure lots of us will, where yaz explains why she can't stay. they hug, they kiss, they reminisce, and they part.
i liked that they ended on 'let's not say goodbye' though. leaves it open for a yaz return, plus, VERY doctor of her to hate endings, to hate goodbyes. yaz's doctorification came full-circle and it was magnificent.
once again, mandip gill, WHERE did you learn to cry like that.
overall? solid 8.7/10. i can't forgive yaz not getting her proper exit. but i did enjoy what we got. and i miss them and i want them back. she's yaz's doctor, but she's our doctor too.
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seinrobinendo · 5 months
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The Return Chapter 7 Birth of a Nation part 2
We see Ashfak his father Jacob, his Mother Sarah and his brother Tren.
Ashfak : I didn't get to say what I want the last time we were together, back when I died turned into a rose.
Ashfak : I was ashamed of the fact that I had not lived my life to the fullest.
Ashfak : but I want to tell you what I should have said more I those days.
Bella : I love you father, mother
We see Bella speaking to her mother and father
A random husband says the same words to his wife
I love you.
I love you
I love you
We see the people of Modoru who had gathered near that dark emptiness say I love you to their loved ones.
Ashfak : I wish I could spent more time with you. You are my family, my blood.
Ashfak : father mother brother, I really enjoyed our little time together. The way be laughed the food we had and the times we cried I treasured them over these years.
Mother : and we are proud to be your parents, Ashfak, you did well.
Young brother hugs him.
Younger brother :life has been a fun ride brother.
We see the family hugging.
We see golden circle in the darkness. It is dark circle.
There is voice heard
GOD:well well it seems that you have all been gathered here. Welcome to your home. We are currently outside space and time so don't get confused when I explain things.
Bella: wow never expected God to sound like a normal human.
GOD: You know I am supposed to be the most scariest and dangerous thing in existence.
Bella : you kept us alive in the planet for a thousand years. At some point you should have known we would lose our human fears.
GOD:well Bella you make good sense. Listen you are the group of people of Modoru who remained. Many people wanted to leave Modoru and many left Modoru
We see Ashfak and others watch people leaving, we see the photo of Shanti.
GOD : all of you in your hearts wanted to stay in your homeland for whatever reason. Many of you died in the extermination that incurred after Dec 25. Even after Park carried out your final revenge on Joho which reduced Joho to bits
We see a destoryed Joho after the RTO attack.
GOD : all of you chose to live there and die. Over the centuries you seen your land transform into some place you have never even dreamed out. In the meantime you have also transformed, you have also understood what makes your life meaningful. What action you must take to make it all work.
GOD: now it is time for reincarnation.
We see the flat golden circle.
God : time as you can see is a flat circle. You will be put in the same time line as your last life. Usually you will forget that you have had this life before.
God : I am sure you had that sneaky feeling in the back of your mind that you have lived this life before.
God: remember when one great man told that you should live your one life with more passion because you have to live the same life again, yeah he was right.
Ashfak : but the way you put it seem like our fates are already determined. It is same life.
God : well the crucial thing is that you have forgotten the lessons you learnt in your previous life and that means your will make many of the same mistakes that you made in your last life.
God : but I have seen the end of a thousand lives. And I have borne upon myself the suffering of many. I can tell you that lives are changed little by little in its every iteration. The many events won't change but the details will.
God : tell me Ashfak, now that you lived a thousand years, what wil you do when you are put in the same time line. The major events won't change, but what is the small thing you would change.
Ashfak : I would spent more time with my family and I would live more passionately. I no we ( he points towards everyone around them) are in peace with the fact that our desire to stay back deliberately will cut our lifespans and cause suffering.
We see people looking on as Ashfak speaks.
Ashfak : but we made our choice, with the litte life we have we would cherish existence, enjoy the warmth of the family and see the boundless potential that world has to offer, ultimately reaching our small dreams.
God : so you understand, now you can reincarnate or rather return into that timeline.
Bella: time line? Not life
God : yes because this time I am giving you the benefit of not losing your memory.i will put you there a few days before the 25th Dec attacks . Use this opportunity wisely and live your small dreams in your limited time.
We see Park pacing around in front of a hospital room.
We see aide1 In that darkness
Aide1 : you know many of us where alive after Park’ final revenge, I was having this feeling that I think many of us are feeling too
People murmur
Yes
Aide1 : about how to use the opportunity for new life
Ashfak: oh I was saying about ‘that ‘ from the very start.
Many people murmer
Yes Yes
Aide1 : oh my bad
We see the white stream merge into the golden circle slow speed, but fast enough to cause turbulence like effect on the golden circle
God: you people!
We see a nurse calling out Park.
We see Park running into the labour room
We see the turbulent golden circle transform into a large blob, change shape and size.
And finally materialize into the form of small baby wrapped in white
Nurse - it's a girl.
We see that same baby girl wrapped in white being handed over to Park in the labour room
Ashfak (v. O) : she would spent more time with her family, eat good food, laugh love
Ashfak (v. O) : she would cherish her existence and the beauty of others. She would see the boundless potential the world has and would ultimately seize her dreams
We cut back to back to the scene where everyone is talking to God.
Bella: she is the child of our womb, the child of a Nation.
Aide1 : she is our dream and everything that we wished for.
Ashfak father: she is carries within herself the history and happiness of a million people. A million people whom she will never know but she will forever carry within her bones.
Ashfak : at the end of our thousand year life, this is what we realized. To live means to live with purpose. this very moment gives our life purpose and meaning.
We see the tiny hands of girl wrap around Park ‘ finger
Ashfak : she carries within herself,the stubbornness of a people who refused to leave their home. We don't a literal second shot at life, we jut want her to carry our essence
Ashfak : we want her to survive into the future we want the world to see her, even if the world doesn't know it that she is ours or even if she doesn't know it, we want her to change the world
Ashfak :make it a better place
Ashfak : if she does, we would have truly won. If she does we would have truly returned.
Park: welcome Fathima.
We see a tiny Fathima running around the garden.
Park picking her up. She laughing.
Shanti trying to feed something.
Park(v.o): Fathima listen to me, always remember to Return, to return to who made you, us, what we taught you, what you learnt, to all those who loved you. All roads lead back home, home is the place where you belong.
Park(v.o): If you fear you are lost, just keep moving forward eventually you will return to the place you belong, your home.
Title :The Return
Fade to black
The end.
Thank you for reading up until here. I am truly grateful. More stories on the way.
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grislyintentions · 8 months
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For Ei, how does it feel to see Inazuma now compared to back then?
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She regards the Inazuma of today with a myriad of different emotions that culminate into bittersweetness. But all in all, it gives her a renewed sense of purpose and conviction to ensure Inazuma continues to not only be safe but also to prosper.
As their Archon and Shogun, being able to notice the distinct differences has allowed her to be more confident in them and to listen, to trust in their ability to grow/contribute to the era of peace. In turn, this has also allowed her to be able to better understand what it is that they truly need and offer resources/improvements that would help them achieve so. As Ei, it's complicated. Being the only individual alive and carrying the weight of her sister's death, alongside the death of many of her treasured friends, with no one but Miko and the dwindling youkai/spirit populace left to know of their existence- it is an isolating experience. Having spent her whole life as her sister's shadow, Ei is very much still learning to step out of her previous role as a shroud of safety (which can be/was suffocating) and into one as providing shade to the weary. She was so preoccupied with preserving Inazuma in a state of everlasting safety that she did not recognise how suffocating it had become not only for her nation but for herself as well. She did not think of the future for she was consumed with the notion of having to protect/preserve. That is why I have always thought that her arc is a study on grief and how it can present itself, how it can affect others but similarly how it can also be navigated. Now that she has taken on an active role in co-ruling Inazuma, Ei also has to contend with the challenge of stepping out of Makoto's shadow for good and processing her loss. There are very few times in which she can fully experience something pleasant without knowing at the back of her mind that her twin sister is not there with her to experience it or see it too. She can witness the changes Inazuma will undergo/has undergone but Makoto cannot. She is still here while Makoto is not. You never really stop missing someone you've lost, though it does get easier to cope with: the same goes for Ei too. And that's why it will always be bittersweet.
@tiredstudents
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The Memory
 Memory
The people we meet, the time we spend, the movement we live, about the worries we think,  we go away from us and the same become a memory after it was passed. We some time worry alot while doing some thing we try a lot to complete the same, still the work may remain,  this makes us feel tensive most of the cases. Even known work also may pressurise us sometimes  and makes us not to enjoy that movement, keeping some other thing in mind doing another thing may lead to this kind of situation, make sure that what ever you are doing is correct, and keep concentrated on present. You may be remain to do many things, all of them will get finished one after the other, never keep in mind that these many things have to be done and these many I am handling. How many you can do those many, because after some days or years passed you may not be given this much work, and your findings and resolution may become reference to some one, pressurise when you alone there in the world, but this never be true, worry less do more. Most of the time your work may not be appreciated nor recognised even, no matter of this self satisfaction is most important than winning awards or medals.
The person most popular today may not be tomorrow, every day is different every challenge is different, new opportunities will come, new learning should happen, new challenges again. Each and every movement makes us to learn new things.
We may meet many people we do spend time with them, we feel very comfortable when we are with them, after some years people we are with may not be that time. The relationship we made may not be after some time, know one knows what may happen tomorrow, with the people we are today tomorrow they may not be with us, we may move our location or they may move their location. One thing we carry is the memory.
The memory is treasure of fun, happy, emotions, and all. The each day we spent and spending may not come back but memory make us to feel that we are with.
Nothing is more important than  your happiness, if you are happy ultimately your family stay's happily. 
We have unlimited Memory, store the best movements where you enjoyed. Remove unwanted from it, make it permanent, recollect when you alone. 
At least one time we may feel lonely, that time recollect those stored parts of life, give fun to your self. The best way to spend time by giving importance to you is this. 
We may be very important to some things to be done in our work locations. But never think that you only can do that, no matter how hard or how easy task that you are doing can be done by someone.
All human's are unique and have different talents, but nothing can be stopped if a person not with them or stopped doing. Even a person leave from this world, we cannot say that the duty he held is stopped because of he/she more in the world.
Mother nation giving us many resources we have to serve to the nation back.
Give memory load activity every movement (because it is unlimited), I mean to say every movement of our life should be very happy, nothing is impossible every problem having solution, but may take some time to solve. Never worry for your mistakes because those are the lessons to others, try not to repeat make practice of your life go CHILL, do not stress your self too much because how bad the situation may be now it will get changed, so no worries on what happened, try for not to repeat any mistake. No medals no recognitions give confidence, it is just done by self satisfaction. When learning feel you only the person learning this, while doing feel like every one along with you know, take help when ever required.
Thank you so much 🤝 for your time on my article.
Give a comment...👍
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amberfaber40 · 1 year
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Diane Kruger Says She Works Less Since Becoming a Mom: 'Everything Changed with Motherhood'
Diane Kruger Says She Works Less Since Becoming a Mom: 'Everything Changed with Motherhood'
"Things just change when you have a family. You want to keep everyone together," said Diane Kruger, who shares her 3-year-old daughter with fiancé Norman Reedus
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Diane Kruger Calls Matthias Schoenaerts 'Cute' at 'Maryland' Cannes Photo Call | diane kruger matthias schoenaerts maryland photo call 07 - Photo
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Celebrities in Bikinis
Stars hit the beach in swimmingly good style. See all the best celebrity bathing suit photos here!
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Zoom Celebrity: Los 10 mejores looks de Diane Kruger
Street Style: Los 10 mejores looks de Primavera de Diane Kruger
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22 Sexiest Looks in the History of the SAG Awards
Jennifer Aniston and Eva Longoria never stop slaying.
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Actresses Photo: Diane Kruger
Diane Kruger, star of such films as National Treasure, Troy, etc.
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How Diane Kruger Learned To Stop Treating Exercise Like A Chore
“I thought I needed to work out to be able to eat what I wanted—and I dreaded it.”
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Nice dress
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HQ Hot Pictures
Diane Kruger
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"Things just change when you have a family. You want to keep everyone together,” said Diane Kruger, who shares her 3-year-old daughter with fiancé Norman ReedusBy Vanessa EtienneVanessa EtienneVanessa Etienne is an Emerging Content Writer-Reporter for PEOPLE.People Editorial GuidelinesPublished on December 23, 2021 02:02 PM Trending Videos Photo: Caleb & Gladys for Women’s HealthDiane Kruger is embracing her new norm as a working mother.In a recent interview with Women's Health, the 45-year-old actress opened up about how motherhood has changed the way she approaches her career. Kruger is mom to a 3-year-old daughter, whom she shares with fiancé Norman Reedus."Everything changed with motherhood — it's such a cliché, but it's true," the actress shared."The way I look at work is different. I love to work; in fact, I cherish it more today than I did before, but at the same time, you look at everything from a different angle," she told the outlet. "It's not: What's it going to do for my career? It's more about: Could it fit into my schedule? How can I make it work? Is it going to be worthwhile?"With a toddler at home, and Reedus busy filming The Walking Dead in Atlanta, Kruger said she often brings her daughter with her to work, traveling around the world together for various jobs.Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Caleb & Gladys for Women’s Health"That's always been very hard, and probably a reason I work less," she said in the interview. "Things just change when you have a family. You want to keep everyone together."The actress also admitted that she was relieved when she was able to get back into work after "six months of being a full-time mom.""I was ready to get back to me, and to get out of the house," she said. The mom of one was able to do just that by hitting the gym in preparation for her latest film, The 355, which sees her as a German agent who teams up with elite spies from countries around the world to take down a common enemy.Though she described returning to work as "daunting," Kruger told Women's Health that "it was fun to have a few hours away each day to focus on my body and my work," noting that she felt supported being on a set filled with other working moms. Norman Reedus/instagramKruger and Reedus welcomed their daughter in November 2018 and have since been protective of details about their child — including her name and exact birthday. While the pair are notoriously private about their toddler, they do occasionally share pictures that don't show her face.In July, Reedus shared a rare glimpse into the couple's family time with their daughter when he shared a photo of the trio out for a stroll on his Instagram account.In the photo, the actor can be seen carrying their daughter on his shoulders as Kruger pushed a stroller while walking in front of them.Back in 2019, Kruger opened up to PEOPLE about her daughter with Reedus and how the little one is developing quite the personality."She's not really girlie, she's kind of a dude," the actress said, adding that she's still saving some Chanel for her daughter. "It's fun to have a girl, I will say. I like that, too."
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nickgerlich · 1 year
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An Apple A Day
I’ve told the story a dozen times. OK, probably more like three or four dozen. But it is worth retelling, if only to set the stage. Besides, if you have never had me for a class before, this story is new to you.
I recall the early 2007 announcement from Apple about a revolutionary new phone. The iPhone would change our lives, they said. It offered a phone, iPod, and camera all in one. Of course, there were a few other features, but the App Store was not yet created. This was primarily a three-trick pony.
And I ballyhooed it roundly. Why did I need to spend that kind of money ($599, if you can believe that!). I already owned a phone, iPod, and camera. So I quickly dismissed the notion as just a flight of Steve Jobs’ fantasy.
A year later I came crawling to the Apple Store begging forgiveness. Silly me. Why carry three devices when one superior one would suffice? Because it was the future, that’s why. The only problem is that the legions of us who bought in relatively early, and everyone since then, including competing phones, have become ringside spectators to a paradigm shift that included us downloading our brains (well, not quite) to these devices, as well as sacrificing personal privacy.
Make that massive amounts of privacy. These things are computers, and unless we turn them off or switch to Airplane Mode, they are keeping an eye on us, and sending information somewhere. We even said it was OK when we checked all those Terms Of Service boxes without reading a word.
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Apple as well as Facebook and Google have increasingly come under the magnifying glass of scrutiny. Between the devices themselves and the apps loaded on to them, there’s a treasure trove of data being collected, transmitted, stored, and sometimes sold. Apple in particular has taken heat for the amount of data it collects from users.
While Apple has earned some high praise for trying to be forthcoming and transparent about the data it collects, it has still drawn the ire of some European nations, where privacy is more of an expectation than it is in the US. The problem is that, and Apple admits this, the phone and its applications simply do not work as well if we do not opt-in for data collection. That’s kind of like having to strip down at the doctor’s office for an X-ray.
Perhaps the most concerning aspect, at least to some, is Apple’s ability to personalize advertising. Of course, Facebook and Google do it, too. But when you make the device in the first place, you’ve got a home court advantage, as well as the power to limit what third-party apps can do.
So how does this ad personalization work, and why is Apple interested in advertising anyway? The answer is pretty straightforward. Apple has long been a hardware and software company, but has recently evolved into the entertainment business as well, along with advertising. After all, it commands many hours of eyeball time from users each day, and it would be foolish to miss an opportunity.
Personalization works by examining available demographic data, interests and activities, mobility (meaning where you go), and how you use your phone, meaning apps, websites, and searches. Some information is explicitly provided, while other info is deduced. The result is a very accurate user profile, which they swear will never be associated with your name, nor sold as such. We thus see ads that are placed with laser-like precision, which I rather like. It’s better than seeing ads for things I would never buy.
Still, they know it is you, even if your identity is supposedly shrouded. Some people are rightfully creeped out about that prospect.
I have had this debate before with students (in a civil way, of course). As for me, I do not mind all of Apple’s activities, nor those of other third-party apps. I willfully gave up that privacy when I bought the device (actually, six of them now), as well as installed apps. The device and apps work together to give me a robust user experience. I have said many times that our phones are lifestyle devices first and foremost, and how we use them is up to us. But in the process, we cede information. It’s not a matter of having nothing to hide. This is about having a device that greatly enhances my life
That’s another way of saying that ship sailed long ago. If you were onboard, then you know the arrangement. If you don’t like it, you can always try to jump, but that may not work in your best interests either. YMMV.
Yes, it can be scary how much data is collected, and it is easy to feel that Orwell’s 1984 has become reality. But it is also up to us to decide how we are going to live in that new environment.
Dr “Sell Me Something Good“ Gerlich
Audio Blog
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riisefuttrup21 · 3 months
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Major The Place To Purchase Kawaii Dresses Strategies!
Kawaii trend, a well-liked model craze originating in Japan, is beloved close to the earth for its lovely and quirky models. From pastel colors to sweet animal prints, kawaii garments is all about embracing your playful aspect and spreading positivity through your outfit choices. If you are wanting to add some kawaii flair to your wardrobe, you may possibly be thinking wherever you can obtain these unique pieces. In this write-up, we will explore some of the ideal places to store for kawaii garments.
Online Stores
A person of the least difficult strategies to find kawaii apparel is via online stores that focus in Japanese style. Web sites like Tokyo Otaku Manner, YesStyle, and Kawaii Nation give a large vary of kawaii garments, accessories, and even property products. With just a couple clicks, you can browse by a myriad of adorable possibilities and have them sent ideal to your doorstep.
These on-line retailers usually feature well-liked kawaii brands like Listen Taste, ACDC Rag, and Swankiss, as nicely as up-and-coming designers who develop 1-of-a-sort kawaii pieces. You can uncover every little thing from cute tops and skirts to playful components like hair clips and tote bags. Numerous of these on-line outlets also supply international transport, building it straightforward for kawaii enthusiasts from all more than the earth to get their arms on these charming merchandise.
Area Boutiques
If you desire to shop in person, take into account viewing neighborhood boutiques or retailers that specialize in kawaii fashion. Although these retailers may possibly be tougher to uncover based on your location, they can present a distinctive purchasing expertise and the prospect to explore hidden gems that you is not going to uncover everywhere else. Retain an eye out for pop-up shops or kawaii-themed activities in your area, as they generally attribute regional designers and artists who build whimsical kawaii items.
Some major cities also have committed kawaii districts or neighborhoods wherever you can obtain a selection of kawaii boutiques and stores in one easy site. Places like Harajuku in Tokyo, Takeshita Street, and Kawaii Monster Café in Japan are renowned for their kawaii style scene and vibrant street type. Checking out these parts can be an interesting adventure and a great way to immerse you in the kawaii society.
Thrift Stores and Secondhand Marketplaces
For budget-conscious kawaii fans, thrift suppliers and secondhand marketplaces can be outstanding resources for special kawaii finds. You never ever know what concealed treasures you may arrive throughout while browsing by racks of preloved garments. Many thrift shops also carry vintage pieces that have a nostalgic kawaii aesthetic, best for introducing a touch of retro allure to your wardrobe.
In addition to standard thrift shops, on the web platforms like Depop, Poshmark, and Mercari offer a extensive assortment of kawaii clothes from individual sellers and small corporations. You can normally obtain gently used or brand name new kawaii products at discounted rates, making it a more economical option for these on a budget. Plus, browsing secondhand is a sustainable selection that will help lessen waste and aid a round vogue economy.
Diy and Customization
If you happen to be sensation resourceful and want to set your possess spin on kawaii vogue, consider attempting your hand at Diy projects or customization. With a couple of essential sewing abilities and some creativity, you can change plain outfits into adorable kawaii items that reflect your private type. Whether you might be introducing lovable patches, embellishing with sparkly sequins, or creating custom made prints, the choices are endless when it arrives to customizing kawaii dresses.
In addition to building your possess kawaii styles, you can also assist independent artists and designers who provide custom outfits expert services. Numerous kawaii creators on platforms like Etsy and Instagram take commissions for tailor made-manufactured pieces, allowing you to collaborate with artists to convey your kawaii fashion goals to daily life. This personalised approach assures that you'll have a exclusive and certainly 1-of-a-form kawaii wardrobe that stands out from the relaxation.
In conclusion, there are plenty of alternatives for where by you can get kawaii clothing, no matter whether you like purchasing on the internet, exploring local boutiques, searching thrift suppliers, or obtaining artistic with Diy tasks. Embracing https://mediaexperiences2go.com/everyday-magic-how-kawaii-rabbit-ears-sweatshirts-bring-fantasy-into-reality/ is a fun and playful way to convey oneself and spread positivity via your outfit options. By searching for out kawaii garments from a variety of sources, you can curate a wardrobe that is as charming and special as you are.
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dfroza · 10 months
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youtube
This Gemstone is named "BC Ocean Picture Stone" It is a combination of blue Chalcedony, white chalcedony, silicate serpentine and limonite. Found in only one pit in the whole world. And I own the mineral rights.
what’s inside your heart? what do you treasure there?
is it connected with this temporal world that is passing away, or with a heavenly world?
what are we as humans trying to accomplish on earth? in the midst of our need to survive which takes much of our time, yet we’re each marked with a death sentence.
we certainly need hope that holds much more power than anything we have here in human achievement.
but life doesn’t actually end with this world. the eternal spirit carried by a physical body lives on, and we have our Creator’s promise of A new body that will never die for those who have the eternal Son
people are here on earth telling so many stories, in the written word and by playing (acting) them out on screens to draw the attention of other people. some of these stories can inspire for the better, and some go against the truth of our Creator in a way that leads people astray.
Are you guarding your heart and your ears and eyes in a way that sees through baptism eyes, filtered by grace? do you see rebirth as the most significant thing on earth?
all that we see, in nature and in the human body suffers from the curse. an ancient curse marked by sin and death. and yet, we know healing is coming to the body and to earth. we live in a first body and upon a first earth that is greatly polluted, and both of these need to be made new in A grand end of time.
and for some who are still alive in a body at the timing of (A secret elopement) our bodies will be changed to immortality without experiencing death.
the exact timing of this is not far off and it is a heavenly marriage (A protected space) followed by a return to earth with our King who will rule from Jerusalem where He was once rejected by men, falsely accused and sentenced to death. yet, it was actually a willing act of laying down His life in spiritual death to take our place so that we don’t have to separated from eternal Love and Family
but we still have to “believe…” in the True story of the eternal tapestry and be reborn as daughters & sons of Light
people on earth are naturally connected as family through their bloodlines, but not all families treat each other in a caring way. some are even enemies. it can be quite difficult for some people to get along. such contention exists in nature as well. the world can be quite the opposite of peace.
there is an innate sense to want to protect your own, which can relate to a family or a tribe, to a community or a nation.
we all know that danger exists in this world. and even this is part of the curse. a curse that doesn’t exist in Heaven. and there is no fear in Love, no fear of heavenly Judgment. grace actually makes us pure in heart, fully cleansed. but it still matters how we choose to act in response to this. people are tempted in many different ways and some do things that are evidently wrong. but there are other things that culture and even law claims as acceptable, yet still may be against God’s revealed truth in the Scriptures.
we can share these things even though some refuse to listen. we live in a world that isn’t our Home and everyone is choosing for themselves what to believe and who to be. but we all must face the eternal at some point.
Love is creating A new Family of reborn sons & daughters of our heavenly Father and this includes the significance of Israel since we become “Jewish” in heart by being ingrafted into the same living Vine
this world has experienced a hatred of Jews in its tragic History and there is an underlying evil and hatred of God behind this. just as we see persecution of Christians ever since the formation of the Church Body that began by the Spirit in Jerusalem and continues to this day.
faith takes bravery in this world, to be sure. and it requires patience and kindness and forgiveness. and a trust that all things will be made right. eventually.
we’re required to seek and find our treasure.
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