#catgirl but shes transmasc actually

[solargeist]

Sobbing I remember the superhero stuff

i wanna try to bring it back one day

change the villain up as a cowboy catgirl with explosives or something

[triptychgardener]

Hello sorry if this is a bother but I am asking in good faith where is the reading for transmasc nepeta. I’m asking this cuz of your last ask (the June one) and I see aradia Dirk and Jane. Thoes all I have seen post and analysis about. But I have not really seen anything about nepeta.

Okay so first thing you gotta understand is that gender in Homestuck, for lack of a better way to say it, can be understood in how characters reflect and relate to each other. That being said to understand Nepeta's gender, we gotta understand the gender of at the very least one other person.

Dave.

And more specifically.

Davepeta, Homestuck's very own first(ish) trans character.

Davepeta is noted to be a sort of platonic ideal of existence for both Dave and Nepeta. Somehow, through a strange series of cosmic coincidences, these two end up making an odd sort of parallel. Both having a strange relationship to a man who loves him some goddamn horses. The whole Akwete Purrmusk thing. I mean, Dave canonically engaged in semi-nonironic furry roleplay with Nepeta offscreen, and given what we know about what becoming a furry in Homestuck means, it's not a leap to describe this as their ideal form.

But, although we don't see a lot of Nepeta's character arc, we do see a lot of Dave's. He struggles his whole life under an incredibly oppressive masculine force (both of Bro and, indirectly, Lord English), and once the game is over ends up deconstructing and largely rejecting that.

So when Davesprite, who's also probably been thinking about this for even longer, bereft of purpose or identity, finds a kindred soul in a spunky catgirl... well the rest is Davepeta.

And similarly, there are points in the story where Nepeta acts kind of uncomfortable with how others see her as exclusively something to be protected. The whole "Dear, sweet, precious Nepeta" grates on her early on, as Equius uses it as an excuse to control her actions. The whole of moiraillegience as it is originally explained (i.e. one party helps to calm down an especially brutal and violent person from outbursts of anger, and in turn that person will protect the more docile, even-tempered soul from external harm) even kind of FEELS like the way heterosexual relationships are portrayed in a lot of conservative spaces, where women are nuturers and caretakers while men are protectors. And Nepeta is supposed to, in this situation, be the person who helps Equius manage his emotions, which she feels some consternation at!

Now, over the course of Hivebent, their relationship appears to evolve and get a bit more balanced, but it still carries these overtones of "I will protect you, and you will handle my outbursts." Notably, when Equius goes to seek the Highb100d, and leaves Nepeta behind.

And of course not after roleplaying as each other.

Which. I mean come on.

But notably, Nepeta doesn't just stay put! She doesn't really want to be protected all the time! And when push comes to shove, she leaps out to defend, or at the very least avenge, her best friend.

And then, we don't really see Nepeta for a while!

Until we get to the end of the comic.

During their whole "date", Nepeta seems a little uncomfortable with Jasprose's affections. She may be a bit flattered, but Jasprose also fully admits later that she was frankly looking for any girl she could fall in love with after the tragic death of her girlfriend and possible more tragic untimely resurrection.

But then the pivotal handshake happens, and we get to see who is perhaps the most happy being in all of Homestuck.

Then we get into some of the only actual discussion of gender in Homestuck. We don't get much besides that, for both of their lives, Dave and Nepeta both felt something was missing. Something felt wrong that they couldn't quite place that made them both miserable. I don't think it's a massive stretch to say this could be gender dysphoria.

And when they combine, they feel the fullness of the gendered experience they were missing, melded together like a two-piece puzzle.

Now while the abovementioned "strong identities as a boy and a girl" might throw you off, I would point to what Victoria Lacroix said about this passage: note the lack of the word "respectively." I rest my case.

Now full disclosure, my personal headcanon for Nepeta is genderfluid transmasc. The whole affinity for roleplaying lends itself to a more shifting identity and I just think Nepeta, given more time, would love exploring the little nooks and crannies of gender.

This isn't going into the more complicated shit with Gender when it comes to Equius and Dirk and all that other stuff. Here's a quick summary so you can see exactly how my brain is broken.

Anyways, thanks for the question! I hope I answered my thoughts on the topic adequately! If other people have more to say about this, please feel free to add on!

[clay-pidgeon]

post title pending. my weird swap au

this is the post im making for scratchswap, my au where i switch the post-scratch kids with the post-scratch trolls sharing their aspect (dirk-nepeta, roxy-equius, jake-eridan, and jane-feferi) and then the pre scratch dudes get swapped accordingly. yes this bc of the Parallels between feferi and jane and then i got a whole Thing out of it. im working on classpects/ages. characters under the cut

pre-scratch trolls

note for the record i did not think much about these guys

johune peixes: i have done 0 thinking on johune so sorry. theyre swapped w meenah and everyones really confused about how that funny little guy was a huge scary empress in every other universe

rozela zahhak: the sorcerer wooooo! pretty similar to canon rose shes just really fucking strong. good friends w aranea

dayves leijon: im still not 100% sure how to go about this one tbh but he does like romance in some form. also i got in in my head hes skittish. no idea where that came from. capitalizes b (glasses) and maybe something else?

jaidli ampora: oh i actually thought about this one a little! fashion is sorta fifties inspired like cronus but shes not a greaser thats his schtick. you dont steal a mans shtick. is there a c in that word or not

post scratch trolls

jaynce peixes: feels like i should work on that name huh. anyways jaynce does Not want to be the heiress (for reasons both transgender and not) at all and is in a little bit of denial about this. i lied actually a lot of denial. may or may not be moirails w jayque havent decided. replaces e and o with -E and -O forks and spoons!

roxxie zahhak: a little more into robots n shit than coding but still does that. bit of a jack of all trades! thinks deyirks lusus (its. kity) is the most special boy in the whole wide world. probably moirails w deyirk now that i think abt it but maybe not. im on the fence abt a lot of stuff here. uses some kind of prefix, emoticons have X for eyes, replaces x sounds with x, y (as a vowel) with ie, and s w z

deyirk leijon: WORLDS MOST NORMAL MAN (lying) lives in a cave in the middle of the woods not for catgirl reasons but because this guy is going insane in solitude works best when isolated. also uses some kind of prefix for a quirk. roxxie drops off robot parts at his house every few weeks and they make a day of it theyre Pals

jayque ampora: he helps feed gloybsub or whatever her name is and hes so normal about the deaths on his conscience. really hes so normal guys cmon. normal

pre scratch kids

mimi egbert: token cis friend sorry meenah. or not idc. more mellow because dad egbert is just a normal guy and isnt raising her to be the literal queen of the world. still meenah tho

hans lalonde: i am unsure about the name but i think its fine. the ultimate horse girl (therian). keeps maplehoof in the foyer. if he had to interact with his dad for more than 20 seconds they would both implode from the sheer awkwardness. the house is big as shit they just gesture to each other when they see each other and thats fine for both of them

manu strider: wears heart shades everywhere as a sort of joke. he doesnt actually know. caps lock is broken and refuses to fix it + uses kaomoji a lot. fujoshi to transmasc pipeline haha who said that

crow harley: im stilling working on which animal to furrify cronus with. watches a bunch of old movies and picked up those speaking habits. other shit pending

post scratch kids

fifi crocker: she wants to be crockercorps new ceo sosososo bad she would make up for all of their horrible crimes against humanity by uh. shes working on it ok?

neta strider: the she/her to she/they to they/them to he/they to he/him to he/they to she/he/they to The Creature pipeline. percentage of their diet that is fish he caught w her own bare hands has been steadily increasing. is trying to buff up on history but keeps on going down wikipedia rabbit holes and rereading the nyan cat article for the thousandth time. would still do the detective pony rewrite but would get sidetracked by the lolcat metaphor for way longer

eqis lalonde: do you know how hard it is to smush equius down to four letters? i just made this name up man. anyways i dunno what to do with her but shes a girl of the horse variety

dani english: diversity win this sickly victorian orphan child is genderfluid! fucking terrified of the lusi on the island. fancies herself sort of a romantic poet

the entirety of this was brainstormed while i was bored in class for the record. still brainstorming so im gonna edit this when more shit arises

[velvetvexations]

idk if you've been informed but you've Made It enough to have someone vagueposting abt how you shouldn't be talking abt transmasc issues in the way you are

/catgirl-kaiju/753165959613825024

It only bugs me a lot that she's still (this same person has made two now) talking about me as if I'm "badgering" people when I've had at least three or four really good conversations with people I may have still disagreed with but in an amicable way. It feels very "crazy hysterical woman losing her marbles for advocating issues I don't like", honestly! The only times I've ever been outright hostile from the start are when someone said some really obviously horribly vile hateful bullshit, and the person to whom I was getting on to about Ukraine (who's also the person that stans Hamas btw) with everything else being secondary.

Also, she says she's looked through my shit so you'd really think she'd have understood the point I've made several times now about how the issues I talk about are extremely narrow because I can't handle most other things. Implying I don't really care about transmascs or others affected by this because I don't discuss a broader range of transmasc issues is really offensive. Like it's great she's sharing transmasc causes to spite me and position herself as The Actual Transmasc Ally ig but I've had several (!) people tell me I'm the reason they stopped feeling horribly guilty for identifying as men so idk I feel pretty confident that what I do is helpful.

[feralkat]

Blog Info

***this is a pregnancy & birth fetish blog - if you are under the age of 18 do not interact***

Requests: Closed Prompt Suggestions: Open General Questions: Open (feel free to ask me or my OCs anything)

Ko-fi: feralkat25

About Me

You can call me Feral (...have legit been loving it since I was addressed that way in an ask) or Kat - either is fine. I use all pronouns but primarily prefer they/it ones. I'm in a very loving closed poly triad with two transmascs.

Things I Will NOT Write

Infant death, extreme g0re, torture, r@pe, ince$t, bea$tiality, v0re, emet0philia, sc@t, cis men being pregnant, hyperpregnancy (more than 4 babies at once is generally a no-go for me)

Completed Fics

Erotic public birth on a train (Omegaverse, transmasc pregnancy)

Thigh-grinding during an orgasmic homebirth (fpreg)

Unexpected car birth on Thanksgiving (transmasc pregnancy)

A human finding out she's pregnant with her vampire partner's baby

Erotic public birth on a bus - part one (nonbinary pregnancy)

The Rule of Three (transmasc rapid pregnancy w triplets & an orgasmic birth) - tumblr - AO3

Fics in Progress

Transmasc I didn't know I was pregnant-style public birth

Soft orgasmic homebirth feat. a nonbinary witch

Trans midwife that didn't know he was pregnant until he's in labor

Runaway Omega prince that goes into labor with no way to contact anyone for help

Vampire having to deal with feeling more human again while pregnant with his human boyfriend's baby

An elf having a very long, but also very peaceful and calm birth

A freshly turned werewolf assuming the nausea, cravings, weight gain etc. are part of the process but is actually pregnant with his first litter

A couple hiring a surrogate but then they all end up falling in love with each other and start a poly relationship

OCs (the breedable ones, at least)

Atlas (they/them, human)

Faith (she/her, bird hybrid)

Lark (she/her, catgirl)

Chase (he/him, Omega)

Adriel (he/him, human)

Reign (he/they, elf)

Gemini (she/her, naga)

Scout (he/they, Omega)

Dakota (he/him, werewolf)

Vale (he/they/it, vampire)

Shiloh (she/they, human)

Kimber (she/they, werewolf)

Casey (he/they, human)

[fictofaggot]

i want to see you make a gender ( /maybe sexuality's ) post about the homestucks' sprites like that cool deathbycatgirl did. do it do it do it

i actually made a list for myself right after i saw @deathbycatgirl's original post (haii!) but o didnr make it an image because im soso tireds here you go^_^:

john is a trans girl but wont figure it out until shes like 40 despite being surrounded by transsexuals all the time. also extremely aroacespec to me

rose is cis but like in a really really butch boy way so like cis but not cis she's a trans girl but still a cis girl but literally not cis at all tbh she's like cistrans. also lesboy

jade is a trans girl who can never feel attached to any prns so she just goes with she/it/paw. shes very genderful but even more gender fuckery ensues after grimbark. aroacespec aplatonicspec fuck you

dave is cisgender. trans girl dave has a special place in my heart though. ace

dirk

roxy is a trans catgirl + lovess neoprns + dyke as fuck

jake is 100% aroace and i don't care enough about him to think about his gender sorry

jane my wonderful gal mwaaah mwah mwah she's got that trans girl swagalicious swag i hate cis jane sorry not sorry. mspec lesbian realness

karkat is . . . karkat is certainly something? he's an utter mystery to me i won't lie he's like if emo was a cisgender

aradia is beyond my comprehension in terms of gender. unfortunate type gal. transhet + straightbian + dykefag

tavros TRANS GIRL FUCK YOUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EXPLOSION SOUND EFFECTS AND KILLING also i definitely think she wants to use neos but is so so afraids

sollux is transfem bigender. but like infinin because he's every boy gender but also every girl gender so hes infinite genders but not like every gender. ljterally just the definition of infinin. bisexual het lesbo fag KABLOOM

nepeta is a crazy transfem cat girl thing fucking beast fucking ravenous animal of a gal. not an ounce of boyness in her except when its funny and/or convenient. uses it/its and every neopronoun paw can get mews claws on and like she/her for a bit of girly fun on the side but not Primarily she/her? he/him too when it's funny. ummm. unlabeled for sexuality only cause i think it'd change so often that labeling would be entirely impossible

kanaya is my wonderful romantic goth vampire trans girl (but like only in terms of gender not actually presentation wise do you understand. her normal outfits are just Too). i think she'd use like 1 set of neos vamp/vamps maybe? and she's a pan lesbian because fuck every thang

terezi is a freak of a girl. every girlfreak girlbeast type gender in existence she can be infinin too for funsies. ummm any prns + a futch dyke who loves boys also

vriska is the most trans girl in the whole entire world. i hate transmasc vriska. also shes too busy being kind of miserable to think about he4 gender but i think if she really sat down and considered she'd be not as binary as she thinks. bi lesbo.

equius trans girl SHUR HTE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!DIE DIE DIE KILLING YOU WITH MY FISTS.shes femme too because i said so. girlfag also. aroacespec as fuck. aplatonic

gamzee non binery any pronounse ok? ok. unlabeled because specifics are too much but mspec queer for sures. aro

eridan trans girl with a bit of nonbinary freakism thrown in for spice and silliness. like vriska in the sense that she thinks she's more binary than she actually is but eridan would figure it out sooner. also a girlfag but likw a boydyke too ok. aroacespec

i understand feferi in a way no one else can anr the only wau i can describe it is genderqueer cis girl but its so much more than that. i could write an essay on it. i think she'd be unlabeled or like heteroflex but im not sure in which direction the hetero occurs

kankri is cis but his fminine and twinkish demeanor confuses the masses constantly much to his chagrin and rage. also he's mistaken for being trans constantly because of his vast knowledge on every discourse ever. canonically aroacespec

damara TRANS GIRL FUCK YOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also ummm lesbo or bi or both i think but like in a loveless aroace caused by trauma way

rufioh is cis but also girlish to me i really don't know what to tells you . aroace. also no Pronouns this is the one thing im sure of with any of the dancestors

mituna is entirely unlabeled i couldn't explain it to you if i tried

meulin is an aroacespec trans gay man but in a distinctly and extremely girlfag type of way. . . do u understand . . . do you get me . . .

porrim is so transsexual and such an aroacespec bi dyke i wish j could elaborate on the dancestors more but they're So

latula is a trans girl but like in a way that is so latula core. do you get it. yeah

aranea is really interesting to me in the way that she's cis but also definitely a trans girl but also i don't care at all and it's a mystery to me. she's just so beforus

horuss TRANS TRANS GIRL GO CRAZY GO RAGGGAGHHAHHHHH GAHHHHHHHHHHHsysfluid and horsegender and aroace aplatonic fag with 5000000 neopronouns that no one ever uses including her

i honestly do not care about kurloz at all ummm. bigender boygirl girlboy in a type of way

meenah sucks and i don't like her. ummm cis

also for some other guys i like:

midnight crew and felt are mostly unlabeled and/or cis by nature of their societu and also they just don't feel particularly gender special to me

die is really special to me tho he's my malewife girlhusband but like you wouldnt get it hes only gender in very very specific situations

the exiles are ALL nonbinary fuck you

all the sprites are bigender (i don't care about davepeta at all sorry) (arquius and fefeta are like if bigender was two of the same gender so like gender²)

hal is nothing. like out of sillyness they just refuse

cherubs are both trans in opposite directions but i won't clarify who's which way or why. they're both homo in opposite directions also

[legion-gringo]

// this is heavy and personal //

It's supposed to be my 4 year HRTiversary but something happened.

A few months back I stopped feeling as much like a girl, then I started taking T as well as E, then I stopped taking E, then I stopped wearing women's clothing then I stopped wearing makeup. I might go back to E/being a girl at a later date, but I might not.

Now I wear suits, use the men's toilets, go by he him pronouns, and I'm happy - or as happy as I was as a girl. I still feel trans, but I'm not really transfeminine at this point, and I'm clearly not transmasc either.

I don't think i count as transmisogyny affected, even. I just seem to most people like an effeminate gay man (they're not wrong, but it's more complicated than that, same as it is for anyone really)

I don't have any regrets - I look at my tits (small and perky) and I think they're neat. I like that estrogen gave me a softness and a connection to my emotions I had previously been lacking, but I like that T has given me the composure and poise to push back the tears and communicate to ppl how I feel instead of just falling apart and letting people see how I feel from that.

It's hard though. Am I detrans? Not really but I do make some people uncomfortable, I suspect. Or a joke that I could have made without a second thought suddenly becomes a minefield of "is he allowed to say that"

There's another detrans grifter in the media. This one is complaining that testosterone made him bald so he "may as well" keep being a guy even tho he regrets it. Fuckin idiot. Men go bald. If I go bald I think I'm gonna cry, (only I can't cry now.) Does this make me a hypocrite?

What's a HRTiversary anyway - it's a big deal for some, for others it's just "the earliest date possible they could get on hrt."

There's other people like me, irl and online, doing similar things - retransitioning rather than detransitioning - but I don't really feel that connected to them either. I know people desperate to tell you that they're a boy (but a girl really!!!!) and try and look as clocky as possible - this reads as weirdly transphobic against the tboys. There's a way to honor and appreciate trans beauty without fetishising clockiness, that's chasershit to me.

Idk where I'm going with this tbh. I don't really understand it but I am starting to resent the constant attempt by other trans people to categorise me into something safe, or at least nameable .

"so have you detransitioned"

"no"

"so you're still a girl"

"kind of but not really"

"are you a man?"

"yeah I guess"

"oh you're nonbinary"

"no"

"oh! You're genderfluid"

"idk no I don't think so"

"oh you're just nonbinary but you don't like the word"

"..."

It's funny as well how many people are completely in denial about what's happening in the same way that my family/coworkers were at the start of my first transition.

*turns up to a party in a suit*

"gurl you look amazing"

*uses men's bathrooms*

"wow she's so fierce"

*gently corrects misgendering*

"Hun you are so butch"

What I've really learned as well is how fuckin godawful girlie culture is from the outside. You go to a trans night in London and everyone's making the same tired jokes about praise kinks and headpats, catgirls and thighhighs, whether they're 19 or 50. Some stranger tried to pat my head at a punk gig my girlfriend was playing back in april and I told her to go fuck herself. If I tried that now I'd probably get booted from the community. Fuckin hell we got Imogen Binnie, Lou Sullivan, yknow there's actual cool parts of The Culture that you can engage with/riff on (like Jackie Ess did with Darryl and its links to Nevada) - why are we content with memes about sword lesbians and blahaj?

I'm part of the problem, too! I did that stupid "gifted boy to burnout girl with a praise kink" post from last year that I've seen go around twitter, Facebook, insta, tiktok, I'm feeding the cultural rot.

I fully expect to lose followers over this, cause it's upsetting to hear. i avoided detransitioners (still not a word i identify with) like the plague ever since i transitioned, not just cause they're normally creepy and weird but i think i genuinely believed that they'd somehow social-contagion me (Torrey Peters is occasionally capable of making a salient point, turns out!)

Anyway whatever. Burn it all down. Love and solidarity to my trans siblings, if this is creepy and weird to hear, catch you on the flipside in like 6 months when i get bored of this and go back to being a girlie

[many-lovely-queer-creatures]

The KPS:

"Hello and heya!! My name's Vivian. Vivian Vex. (She/They) Transfem butch/futch/femme Cyborg/Cybernetic Succubus, but who I am doesn't revolve around sex and violence (anymore). It revolves around humor, VERY dumb memes like that barely qualify legally as memes, MLP, Fallout, Halo, and loving and supporting the people around me, not least of all my 15-year Partner and love of my life, Zander<3 I'm a surrogate mom to a lot of people, and will do almost- and will do *anything* to protect trans kids, trans people, or any marginalized folk. I love you. And I'm proud of you. I'm glad you're here<3"

"Hiya!! :3 My name's AlexZander Maxwell Belmont, (They/He/She/Cat) transmasc genderfluid catboy/catgirl/catenby! I'm a mage from the tropics, and beneath my 'Smol evil catte bean >:3' persona, I'm very soft-spoken, and try to be kind and understanding towards everyone, as does Viv, my Wife and love forever<3 I like Half-Life, fresh fruit, Halo, and being outdoors! prrrbt prbt :3"

"Good Evening, I assume. My name is Professor Yarrow or Wilson (depending on my mood) Turingley Hrothwell. Pronouns are He/They. I'm chief of research and development, and head of Psychologistics at the Kintsugi-Pentimento Society. I enjoy tea, research (particularly into plurality and other mental matters) and spending quiet moments with my loved ones: My partner Zander, and my wonderous GNC son Jonas. Warm regards, Yarrow/Wilson."

"Hai!!! :D My name's Pinkie Pie, and I'm a kinda ace-spectrummyy bisexualish lesbainish pony with she/her and im trying out pink/pink pronouns!! Im the most recent member of the system, and i love everypony here! They're all so nice and friendly and supportive, oh, I really like sweets and parties and Twilight and soda and baking and making friends and candy and everything! Everywhere! If I could, i'd give everypony in the whole world a biiiiig hug!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU, DONT FORGET TO SMILE AND DO STUFF THAT MAKES YOU SMILE! LOVE YOUUUU!!"

"hey. my name's Jonas. Jonas Kujo. some of my friends call me Shen, or sometimes Jojo. Aroace, he/they pronouns please. im a pretty soft, quiet dude. but... i love trans people. my people. I'll do anything, and fight anyone for you. Pinky promise. i have a fire in me that won't go out. I'm a JoJo. and I'm gonna save the world."

Not pictured/without comment: Smiley, a Yes Man fictive who helps out when other folks are under a lot of emotional toil, and has repaired me several times after stress damage<3 -Vivian

"Howdy! Ah'm Workhorse, an Applejack fictive, she/her. I'm just now startin' to stretch my legs, but y'all might hear from me soon. Take care, y'all! :D"

Raer Gorebeest, It/Its/Itself, is a Wendigo who enjoys drawing with crayons, scaring people, biting things, and and many other violent possibly triggering actions, but don't worry!! It's actually very sweet and lovey, and kinda just a big kid! -Zander

All others didn't want a spotlight, but are still as much a part of the family as an others. Feel free to ask about us and stuff, we're pretty open, friendly folks.

[transbakerswife]

Trivender au headcanon masterlist

Trina Mora: first of all her last name comes from a sims 4 falsettos game file i hsve where i just tried to randomize her a last name and this is what i got. She's bisexual and has depression i don't think anyone ever doubted that. Also a lot more chaotic in this au than canon? That's just the effect Lavender has on her ig.

Lavender Baker: MY LOVE!! I already explained her name's origin in the pinned post. Like my url implies she's trans and she's also bisexual. Girlboss. Polyamorous but thankfully no longer a cheater we don't talk about that storyline in the original. It didn't happen. How did she get pregnant if she's trans you may ask? I don't fucking know how did Cinderella talk to a tree by that logic. There's no logic in the itw universe <3

Baker Baker: he's a baker if you couldn't guess. Transmasc bisexual wet cat of a man. Malewife. Left handed. Severely traumatized. Daddy issues. Also both him and his wife are jewish, naturally.

Bread Baker: Baker and Lavender's child. His name is Bread. I don't have much to say about him.

Jack: gay gay homosexual gay. Autism. Zero braincells whatsoever.

Little red riding hood: non binary icon 😌. because i said so. Also lesbian. You can't tell me what to do. Also autism but a different genre of autism than Jack.

Cinderella: also a lesbian with the worst case of comphet I've ever seen.

Milky white: bigender icon.

Marvin Gardens: just my regular headcanons for any incarnation of him. ADHD, bpd, being a weatherman. Controversally i did go with the Gardens last name. I'm sorry.

Whizzer Brown: autism, and demiromanticism. Also photographer Whizzer since everyone seems to love this headcanon. And he's from Omaha Nebraska just for the fun of it. He and Marvin have two cats btw he bought both of them which Marvin initially didn't approve of but accepted later on. They're named Chess and Racquet because I'm uncreative.

Mendel fucking Weisenbachfeld: BISEXUAL!! Bi Mendel real!! He canonically didn't earn his diploma in this one 0/10 worst psychiatrist ever

Mr Bungee: not actually homophobic, he himself is gay, but he is a capitalist. Cis white rich gay man. He's also an absolute loser. Frogs.

Jason Gardens: I'm so sorry for making him get the gardens name too. AUTISTIC as hell also aromantic and possibly aplatonic i'm projecting too hard probably. Jack, Red, Cinderella and Bread all count as his siblings and i would love to make content of these kids in the future

Charlotte and Cordelia: idk how exactly they fit into the au except Trina definitely did talk to them first thing when having her sexuality crisis. Charlotte probably has anxiety idk. And some level of non binary.

The witch/Luna: lesbian. But also arospec. And asexual possibly. And autistic now that i think about it. One look at the baker's father was what made her realize she's not attracted to men. She's mostly just done with everyone's bullshit. Her name is Luna i don't know why i decided that. This is my au so my rules. She somehow ends up dating Dot i have no clue how that happens.

Dot: local she/they. Token neurotypical. Some flavor of queer. Idk how she became part of the story. Louis the baker she dated is not the same baker as Baker Baker our local baker, they're actually rivals since they work in the same business.

George Seurat: JUST TO CLARIFY I'm talking about the musical version i wouldn't make headcanons for a real life person!! Autistic. He/she pronouns (don't ask just don't.) doggirl in the same way catgirls are catgirls. As I'm writing this I'm regretting all my life choices.

[kyriemrmister]

tw time prison fic but

the po honda civic post was on my dash and even though there's So Much Wrong with the time prison fic there's also some lines and moments that live in my head rent-free because i love to torment myself with continuing to read it

(elw*nn j*mes my beloathed, tw for mentions of genitalia, daddy kink, slurs, madness combat mentions, sex jokes, five nights at freddy's mentions, pee jokes, poop jokes, sexualization of minors in a smutless manner, mention of drugs and drug trips, and the fact this is a long post about a very cursed crossover fic that i can describe as 'loud house revamped meets tails gets trolled' quite easily. don't click the read more if you can't handle/have triggers towards these things, just scroll past and don't barge into my askbox about it. curate your experience or perish.)

socks getting drunk on vanilla extract (like the meme) and hallucinating that ghosts stole his balls, and the narration reiterating that since he's transmasc he wasn't born with them

oc catgirl fursona tells him that. which only convinces socks that ghosts timetravelled back in time, went into his mother's womb, stole his balls and made him trans

scooby-doo parody in the reboot that involves socks, seiya, shiryu and hyoga trying to bust a ghost in a manner like ghostbusters that somehow shoves a half life full life consequences ("zombie goasts leave this place") AND a the exorcist ("the power of christ compels you") reference one after the other in the dialogue (hyoga says both) and when that doesn't work seiya just tries to intimidate the ghost by flirting/screaming at it

said sequence also involves seiya calling shiryu an 'egirl son of a bitch' (??? i guess shiryu's daphne?) and the ghost isn't even a ghost, it's davy jones in the onion armor from the dark souls memes and davy is just delivering catnip to oc catgirl fursona

seiya is punished for there not being any actual ghost and is forced to clean clearly self-insert mike nesmith's fireplace in a sexy catgirl maid outfit

ikki in this fic works for peppino's pizza as a delivery person and his first delivery is to snick's house, who transforms into, not snick.exe but a 'sanic'-ified version of himself and chases ikki while the sanic meme music plays, bassboosted low quality and all

oc madness combat employer makes mike nesmith x reader fics and they are accidentally printed on the group's printer and this somehow leads to the fic's version of mike porking her

peppino gets a giant purple pizza cutter with angelic runes that translate to the 'pizza pasta put it in a box' ditty, and when they're read out loud the person that read the runes gets attacked by a horde of ghost rats

micky asking if davy needs anything at the store. davy says she wants to fuck. micky's response is, verbatim: "they don't have that."

the peppino weed trip sequence that is set to running in the 90s, features peppino getting beat up by a plethora of cameos, including jd knudson from loud house revamped, cecil from nightvale, and the fish from sharktale

also it ends with him getting jumpscared by freddy fazbear, and then "you have hurt peppino" in the dark souls font with that "game over yeeeeaaaah" soundclip playing over it

messing with the storyline of head (1968) somehow by having the setting's gods trap the victor mature character in the traptanium from fuckign skylanders. this traptanium powers a city in the arctic btw

one bit that takes place in peppino's has the noise breaking through the wall, t-posing, in a sexy catgirl maid outfit (when one of these is involved in the story its always a joke btw) and the fuckibg nyan cat song plays at full volume

peppino's response is um, this: "You sonnuva rotten lasagna! I'm gonna beat-a the mcfuckin' shit outta you and your tiny little dick!"

he doesn't get to. ikki just uses the phoenix cloth and 'omae wa mou shindeiru's him while saying that line verbatim

seiya and hyoga argument that involves the lines 'fuck your stupid baka life' and 'if it pisses like a duck it shits like one too'

mike breaks up the argument and seiya calls him 'daddy'. mike slaps him and kinkshames him because he's not part of the harem and therefore cannot call him daddy

also the time prison bit originates from an actual plot development that never gets mentioned again where the guy who gets thrown there and talks about it is kyle carrozza of funny music project and mighty magiswords fame

luke ski gets tossed into the sea of japan and becomes, basically, monica from ddlc and gets so clingy and attached to kyle he erases his GODDAMN IRL WIFE from existence

the ending of the original fic involves mike killing valo by using an attack so powerful it just destroys the entirety of reality (previously established to be everything fictional, including fanfiction, as well as our reality) and everyone and everything in it and it breaks everything so bad reality as a whole has to be rebooted

i wouldn't recommend it.