#cause there are moments on txf where it's just bad

[baronessblixen]

people either like david duchovny's voice or they think it's monotonous and he lacks intonation. my mom couldn't stand it when she was watching txf with me. i wonder what non americans think of it

Well, I am a non-American ;) I didn't grow up hearing his voice on txf cause he was dubbed in Germany. The first time I heard him I was like, huh? And yes, he can be monotonous but he isn't always. I listened to The Reservoir when it was only an audiobook and what can I say? his voice was perfect on longer runs.

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Can we talk about Louis’ way of quietly defying toxic masculinity? Like Harry will wear “feminine” colours and bold fashion statements, but Louis defies it with his honest lyrics and heartfelt and genuine personality.

Some examples from Twitter!

How tenderly he holds this baby.

This thread on Louis ending toxic masculinity.

In Louis’ well-known love of cuddles!

Louis various photo shoots are full of moments that defy toxic masculinity. While he doesn’t wear women’s clothing (although he has), he often moves and poses in elegant, flamboyant ways balanced between strength and vulnerability, all the way to 2020.

Louis and kids !

Louis’ wonderful way of getting himself down to the children’s level— physically— even when he’s behind a desk!— so they feel at ease.

[[MORE]]

Remember this behind-the-scenes clip from Back to You, how respectful he was to Bebe, how he treated her as an equal and never as the “bigger name” (which, at the time, he was) or the “dominant artist.”

We can also talk about how Louis has co-written his solo songs with women, non-binary, and LGBT songwriters (Sasha Sloan for Just Hold On, Sarah Blanchard for Back to You, Asia Whitacre for Miss You, Jesse Thomas for Just Like You, Ali Tamposi for Always You, Wrabel for Don’t Let It Break Your Heart).

We can make an entire blog about Louis’ support of LGBT fans and the LGBT community.

We can also talk about Louis’ essential humility. Louis does not make support for social issues about himself, Louis Tomlinson the celebrity. There are no redirected links for engagement analytics. Louis attended the Black Lives Matter protest in London without fuss (we hardly saw his face), and his post focused on the cause. His support of the NHS and child hunger are about the causes. Louis made several music videos for the single Two of Us, and one of them is the remarkable “bucket list” video with Richard that focused entirely on Richard rather than on Louis himself— Richard’s memories and feelings about grief, his hopes and strengths. The video was linked to three charities close to Louis’ heart— which he has supported for years. “Louis Tomlinson has always said that it is important for him to remember where he came from.”

We can talk about the fact that Louis has always kept his heart open to emotions, from early 1D days when the boys agreed Louis was the “biggest mama’s boy” and nicknamed “Louis’ cry face,” to crying for his contestants on TXF, admitting that he’s the biggest crier— even in 2020:

“At anything that pulls at the heartstrings - I’m an easy crier.”

... such that Louis’ stance on emotions and vulnerability was cited by TMRW Magazine for #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek.

In 2017, talking about the difference between music he wrote for One Direction and his solo music:

Louis’ statement to O GLOBO on his real personality: “This is difficult. I think the natural stereotype of a musician or a celebrity is not always incredible. Sometimes, for various reasons, people expect me to be rude or bad, for example, when in fact, I just want them to understand that I’m a really nice guy.” And here he is again.

We can talk about Louis’ choice to cover a song like Beautiful War, singing with a raw honesty about difficulties in a relationship and arguing that love is “worth fighting for.”

Louis’ lyrical genius is in conveying strength and vulnerability at the same time, allowing his audience to hear his loss and sadness yet finding strength in it.

• In writing about his mother Jay (Two of Us), Louis discovers the way grief can sneak up in everyday situations: the way that we can no longer phone those who have passed, the way their voices and faces are preserved in our digital world. He sings about it in direct and honest ways, and makes the sadness relatable, universal.

But I'll leave a message so I'm not alone

The day that they took you, I wish it was me instead

I will be the best of me, always keep you next to me

Even when I'm on my own, I know I won't be alone

• In writing about the beginning of One Direction (We Made It), Louis shows how the anxiety, pressures, and uncertainty of those early days eventually lead to his happiness now. He doesn’t turn away from his own fears, his past insecurity about what could have been. “Oh God,” he sings, “what I could have become.”

Now we're saying goodbye/ Waving to the hard times.

Things we'd never say to someone else out loud/ We were only kids, just tryna work it out

Oh, God, what I could've become/ Don't know why they put all of this on us when we're so young/ Done a pretty good job dealing with it all

• In writing about feeling lost and deluded as a relationship came apart (Walls), Louis expresses little blame. “Nothing makes you hurt like hurtin' who you love/ And no amount of words will ever be enough.” The hurt he describes goes both ways, and came from both people. The epiphany of recognizing what was wrong with the relationship was on Louis— he saw something lost in himself.

I looked you in the eyes, saw that I was lost (saw that I was lost)/ For every question "why", you were my "because"

• In describing how he made the decision to pursue his career, even in a song that talks about being “addicted” to this life, the epiphany is within himself (Habit)— the focus is on what he can do for self-recognition and self-improvement.

I took some time 'cause I've ran out of energy/ Of playing someone I heard I'm supposed to be/ But honestly, I don't have to choose anymore

Louis has always tried to stay grounded. “Don’t get lost on the way up” is his expression of humility, as well as lyrics like “pub lunch every Sunday,” “I’m just like you,” “I’m crying like a fool.”

I come runnin' to you like a moth into a flame/ You tell me, "Take it easy," but it's easier to say/ Wish I didn't need so much of you/ I hate to say, but I do (Defenceless)

“You might be in an argument, and you’re feeling particularly vulnerable. It’s a bit of a cry for help, really. Lyrically— I’ve always said in the past it’s important for me to be honest, and I think, vulnerable at times, and I think this is definitely one of those songs with a lot of honesty in there.” — Louis for Track by Track

I hope that I'm not asking too much/ Just wanna be loved by you// And I'm too tired to be tough/ Just wanna be loved by you (Defenceless, in that glorious falsetto)

I'm sorry if I say, "I need you"/ But I don't care/ I'm not scared of love (Strong)

Moreover, Louis has been always consistent in equality and fairness, in urging protection for the most vulnerable in the community, in unity and humility, in keeping things real. His charity and generosity have been consistent over time. His album Walls treats the subjects of love and heartbreak with nuance, using gender-neutral pronouns and showing respect to his past and present partners. His music videos have been meaningful and intelligent, visually elegant and emotionally compelling, without the use of nudity. Louis and Charlie have treated the women actors (some of whom are fans) in his videos with care, and it’s wonderful to see.

Addendum:

2017: Modeling clothing designed for women in one of the first solo photoshoots.

2022: Louis’ gentle way with children on tour (x) (x) (x)

[yaz-the-spaz]

Hi ! I really want to know about the bullying happened to Liam? I’ve been listening to Zayn’s MOM and some lyric (know what you’ve been through etc) remind me of this.... I just thought it would really help me understand Ziam’s relationship better? Also if you know anything about Zayn’s early life I would die to know! Thanks! Hope it’s not too much to ask(btw I watched the videos that Liam’s high school girlfriend Shannon posted in 2010, he was so cute, that kind of triggered me to know more too

hey nonnie, i don’t really have much concrete information on this unfortunately other than what little liam’s shared himself. i’m not sure how much of that you’ve seen though so this may or may not be new info for you at all but i guess i’ll just sum up what i can remember of what he’s said which is pretty much just general stuff: 

he was bullied in school as a teen (not sure about before his teen years but it also wouldn’t surprise me) and didn’t have really have many close friends...there’s possibly also a point where he didn’t have any just based on what’s known about his 16th birthday which is that literally not a single person showed up after he invited (i think??) his whole class or at least a good portion of it and his family went all out with getting a big fancy cake and lots of decorations and i think even rented out a little venue space or something like that to host the party and it just ended up being the 5 of them...i can’t seem to find it at the moment but there’s a pic of him somewhere where he’s literally just sitting there at the table all by himself with this big cake (that was obviously meant for way more than 5 people) and it’s absolutely heart-breaking. idk if you’ve seen any of the backstory of sophiam but supposedly there was a girl in high school that liam really liked and he tried a few times to ask her out and every time she turned him down. sophia is rumored to be that girl (though how true that is, or how much it was just a convenient way to sell the narrative of them as some sort of super messed-up version of high school sweethearts i ofc have no real idea). but anyway that, combined with kind of off-hand comments i feel like i remember him making along the lines of being sort of unlucky in love growing up, i think also says a lot of how he was treated and perceived in school. there’s also the fact that at one point the bullying got so bad his dad enrolled him in boxing as a way to help boost his self-esteem and help him feel more confident about defending and sticking up for himself. and after he went on txf in 2008 things only got worse cause, despite whatever brief fame/notoriety and positive-ish attention he might have gotten shortly following his run on the show, after about a year or so of things with his music career not really progressing (and people around town recognizing him and noticing that he hadn’t “done” anything else or really “gone anywhere” in his career) he started getting publicly ridiculed. random people would literally yell cruel stuff at him in the street or in fast food restaurants about him basically being a has-been and stuff like that...

as for zayn i don’t really know much of his early life either other than little bit i’ve shared that i recall seeing. i know it was circulated that he was out as bi as young as 15/16 and that ppl from his school and from the bradford area (esp the areas close to his neighborhood) knew. he was also bullied in his early years (more around elementary school/primary school age) b/c his school at the time was primarily full of white and kids apparently they would literally call him “funny-looking” and stuff like that and make fun of him for being brown and muslim, but he eventually switched schools and things got a lot better. that’s about all i know for him though

[plaidscully]

Hmmmm okay this isn't specifically about msr so tune out now if u aren't down for a possibly incoherent ramble with no romantic payoff but. txf sets up plot & worldbuilding as important from episode 1 and intertwines plot & character moments for the first few seasons (ie Mulder choosing Scully over his sister, an action that has implications for both Mulder & scully's relationship AND the mytharc) THEN slowly separates the two as the mytharc gets bigger & less controllable. Eventually the characters' actions don't really make a dent in what happens in the mytharc, which largely continues with them as observers/victims of a greater plan. Although they still have agency, more or less, over what happens in their relationship, the viewer is used to reading plot as relevant to Mulder & scully's emotional lives & character development and I think that's what causes a disconnect for me between the early & the later seasons.

Especially with regards to the William arc, things seem to happen *to* scully rather than with her as an active participant far more than they did in the earlier seasons, even though, when you examine the plot analytically, not much has actually changed about either her values or the amount of power she has in her life. She's always been used as a pawn by csm & other villains, but in the early seasons, her & mulder's actions caused something to change about the plot, which then had implications for their relationship (ie Scully choosing to wake up after being abducted, choosing to pursue knowledge abt the people who have hurt them both rather than walking away). In the William arc it's easier to read passivity into actions that, again, haven't suddenly become more passive, simply due to the way the narrative works. And that's where I think a lot of bad Scully characterization (even from actual writers of the show) comes from. Not any actions that she herself failed to take, but the agency that the narrative withheld from her.

And like. Not 2 get too far into the weeds here but if the story was *trying* to comment on Scully & mulder's lack of agency in a system that's set up to exploit people, that would have been one thing. That type of narrative has been handled in an interesting way in other horror stories I've enjoyed but txf is clearly, CLEARLY not going for that. Imo the thing to do would have been to either recognize that the characters had lost control over the plot & refocus on the characters themselves, or refocus the plot to allow characters to affect it once again. It's just bad writing to have an adventure/thriller story where the audience doesn't care what happens in the plot or a love story where half of the time you add irrelevant drama unrelated to the love story or the characters. so yes I will continue to argue that the problems many people have with the later seasons stem from inconsistencies in the level of power the characters have over their story & ik many of the specific details that bother me are symptoms of that larger issue

[hartigays]

Ship History Meme

Embrace your past and get to know your friends’ fandom origins!

Rules: Post gifs of your fandoms / ships starting with your most current hyperfixation and work backwards. (Bonus points if you share any stories about how or when you got into that ship! But not necessary!!) Then tag anyone whose fandom history you’d like to learn about!

I was tagged by: @gideongrace thanks bby!! 💜

Most Recent: barisi (law and order: svu)

How did I get into it? it’s my current hyperfixation but i’ve shipped it for a long time, basically since the first moment that barba and carisi were on the show at the same time years ago, and then i started reading fic when they finally had screentime together for the first time. i rewatch random seasons of svu every now and then and i always resume my love for these two when i do

Next: effoff (sex education)

How did I get into it? i recently decided to finally binge sex education and it’s just another situation where the moment they had screentime together, esp adam being an asshole to eric (cause i knew they were gonna do something w that i just KNEW IT), i was totally a goner for them

Next: harringrove (stranger things)

How did I get into it? oh god they’re my constant, my ~touchestone~, i will never not love these two idiot boys (i have other hyperfixations rn but they’ll always be my number ones) but i didn’t actually get into them until like january of 2019?? i’d been in between fandoms and decided to rewatch st and noticed their chemistry for the first time and i was like hold up.........then i tested the waters n read some fic and here we are

Next: thiam (teen wolf)

How did I get into it? so i’d watched teen wolf from day 1 that it aired, but i stopped circa-s5 because it was just. so bad i could NOT. i loved theo but the whole premise of s5 i just couldn’t get into. so i stopped for a few years, then one day i decided to finally watch s5 and ofc s6 naturally, and i got v attached to theo and liam. started reading fic and hyperfixated on s6 quite a bit and became a hardcore thiam shipper

Next: rickyl (the walking dead)

How did I get into it? i don’t know. i don’t even watch twd anymore, i stopped after the mid-season finale of s6, but i’ve always loved rick and daryl’s relationship. i still rewatch the first 4 seasons every now and then and get back into my rickyl hyperfixation. this is also a ride-or-die ship of mine that i’ve had for a long time and i go back to it often

Next: stucky (captain america trilogy)

How did I get into it? this is such an old ship of mine that i really don’t even remember. i’ve been watching marvel movies since i was in middle school, and i started getting into the fandom around my freshman year of high school. the cap movies were always my favorite and bucky was (and still is) my favorite fictional character, so me shipping stucky just evolved naturally. they are my number 1 ship of all time and i’m not ashamed to admit it

Next: sterek (teen wolf)

How did I get into it? I WAS LIKE 12 AND IT WAS MY FIRST M/M SHIP, they are the OG’s, the lights of my life, the fire of my loins. i started watching teen wolf when it first aired and around the same time had just joined tumblr about a year before, so i was already getting into the fandom side of tumblr when i started following teen wolf blogs. a lot of people were posting about sterek and it peaked my interest, and i v quickly got invested!!

Next: mulder x scully (the x-files)

How did I get into it? i’ve been watching txf since i was literally an infant. if we wanna be technical, actually since i was in the womb (my mom is a major txf fan and she apparently watched it all the time when she was pregnant with me). i always watched it with my mom growing up, and mulder and scully were so obviously in love how could lil ol’ me not develop a serious love for them??

Honorable mentions (in no particular order): reddie (IT movies), david x patrick (schitt’s creek), malira (teen wolf), kastle (daredevil, the punisher), newtmas (tmr series), sciles (teen wolf), clexa (the 100), bellarke (the 100), bensler (law and order: svu), dorisi (law and order: svu), bucky x loki (marvel)

i’m tagging: @grabmyboner @hoegrove @biillyhargroves @wndasmaximoffs @etterklang @brokebackmountains @mustardprecum @granpappy-winchester @aspartaeme @billyscamar0 @avalonlights and anyone else who wants to do this :-)

[vndic-a]

txf ran for YEARS and is chock full of moments that our boi has been horrifically injured.   this is mostly going to focus on physically lasting scars and prominent breaks that still cause him all those fun aches and pains,   but will touch into whatever prominent injuries he’s experienced that i think are noteworthy,   including those with notable trauma experienced.   this should have all of them but i’m not perfect. 99% of these are timestamped with what episode it happened,   some have screenshots,   and like maybe 1 or 2 will be headcanon ones.   the reason i’m posting is for the sake of plotting and also a little timeline for myself,   to keep in mind / keep track of all the things he’s been through.

SCARRING .

1 .    shot in the left thigh,   straight through his femur (oof).   thicc boi star - shaped scar.   1X13 2 .    gash on lower rib - cage / abdomen,   clawed by the “jersey devil.”  minimal / thin scarring.   1X5 3 .    moderate skin damage to face / below eyes and around cheekbones due to hypothermia exposure.    it’s not terribly noticeable and only really lasts maybe less than a year and a half,   normally most don’t see it unless he’s pointed it out since the damage was so close to his eyes.   screenshot of how it looked when he entered the hospital .   2X16/17 4 .   scully shot him in the shoulder :// give that boy another starry scar.  2X25 5 .   deep slash on the face / upper right cheekbone from a gargoyle.   he tends to receive a lot of scars on his temple / head and most of them remain thin and whiten over the years,   but to someone close enough / knows what to look for, they’re there.   screenshot .   3X14 6 .   slammed his head against a windshield hard enough for the window to have some blood on it.   was unconscious for a while after.   screenshot 1   2   and  3  ( 3 is harder to see but it was stitched & bandaged ).   3X16 7 .   shot in the head.   didn’t die bc this boi is wild.   screenshot .   FTF 8 .   probable damage to his neck  ( small scars dotted across )  after an octopus - like creature strangled him and embedded parts of it in his neck.   this is another sort of scarring that probably only lasted around a year,   if that,   and wasn’t noticeable all over.   trypophobia warning on this image :   screenshot .   6X13 9 .   deep human bite marks on right forearm / closer to elbow,    as well as part of his bicep.   definitely prominent if not jagged scarring.   bleeding was severe enough a tourniquet can be seen in the screencaps.   screenshot of heavy bleeding and tourniquet.   also his arm ass arm had a sling after the fact .     7X04 10 .   ricocheting bullet hit upper left bicep.   wrapped in heavy gauze ,   it’s probably a small minute scar.   7X06 11 .    he got attacked by a bunch of snakes,   so specific scarring is ???   questionable but they were poisonous and he did have to go to the hospital.   7X09 12 .    had his skull drilled into at the edge of his hairline to induce his repressed memories.   4X23 13 .   infestation of his lungs.   he was basically suffocating due to the volume of eggs and beetles in his lungs and had to have them cleared after coughing up blood.   it was hella violent.   7X18 14 .   i don’t count fight club cuz that episode was BONKERS and there were so many things. 15 .   of course,   mul.der’s abduction.   the scars for this fade away,   but in the first couple of days that he’s returned and back on his feet,   they’re still healing.   i’ll detail more on this later. 16 .    another temple gash !   photoset.     8X20

BROKEN BONES .

1 .    obviously whenever he got shot through the femur .   1X13 2 .    he got attacked by a gorilla ( don’t worry abt it this shit was wild im just putting it on here cuz like wtf y’know ) so i’m gonna wager potentially broken / fractured ribs / possibly some pretty bad bruising if not any breaks to his head.   he was unconscious for a while and when scully found him he reacted wildly pained to her touch.   also the only reason i’m adding this as well is because he’s definitely had a history of broken / fractured ribs.   2X18 3 .    left pinky twisted and broken severely as a means of torture.   5X18 4 .    in general he’s broken some ribs here and there.   i also personally headcanon he broke his wrist when he was a kid,   and it’s partly reason why this stooge drops his gun so fucken often,   he’s got a lousy grip.

GENERAL  /  LONG TERM AFFLICTIONS .

1 .   was infected with an alien gas that killed him,   he FLAT - LINED for about a minute before scully revived him .   2X16/17 2 .   he’s had a trillion concussions,   which can only get worse as time goes on :/// 3 .   he’s also had unconventional medical procedures performed on him:   mind - wiped in spooky unknown government labs,   a lot of techniques and medicines to help him remember things via stimulating hallucinations that basically caused seizures,   another time he was given medication that induced a seizure,   drugged a few times that caused extremely high levels of paranoia and anxiety to very violent and uncontrollable levels. 4 .   exposure to the black cancer,   as well as torture / imprisonment without basic necessities which totally had some long-term mental effects.   4X8/9 5 .   i mean he did get mummified by prehistoric fireflies but he’s cool now.   1X20 6 .   he’s definitely got tinnitus from multiple stuff over the years but mostly from the gunshot to the head.     FTF 7 .   he almost died again,   buried under rubble to narrowly avoid a massive explosion,   severely feverish,   dehydrated / heat exhaustion and unconscious for several days and BARELY fighting past the illness.   3X1 8 .   subjects himself to tests from a doctor to inject him with ketamine   ( a hallucinogenic anaesthetic )   to try and remember his past more clearly,   causing seizures,   severe migraines,   and lapses in his current memory ( a vivid flashback occurs and he’ll wake up not knowing where he is ).   also got his skull drilled into that was cool.   4X23 9 .   moderate radiation burns to his forehead / face . 10 .   oh yeah he drowned in the bermuda triangle but it’s cool his wife rescued him.    6X3 11 .    he’s had hypothermia a lot in general.

MENTAL .

1 .   take a shot everytime mulder gets tortured,   die in 4 minutes . 2 .   fear of fire is very pronounced.   1X12 3 .   kidnapped,   drugged,   mind - wiped,   dropped back to scully not knowing where he is.   1x2 4 .   take a shot everytime he’s sleep deprived,   whether bc of his own passion or because of someone forcing him to stay up.   scully has made notes herself,   verbally exclaiming mulder needs rest bc he hasn’t had any in 24 and sometimes 36+ hours. 5 .   idk if i mentioned but he’s been held hostage a lot,   more than once in some actual prison somewhere where he’s tortured,   and a handful of times by dangerous criminals who are ready to kill him and do it for ransom. 6 .   the amount of times he’s been detained and literally tied up or held down by something / physically restrained,   i’d wager he’s less and less cool with it every time. 7 .   almost was drowned inside of a mental hospital,   drowned in the bermuda triangle,   was almost drowned in a bath tub,   and has been strangled more times than he’s comfortable with.   the general concept of not being able breathe is a little too familiar. 8 .  i just want to point out how many times he’s been exposed to seeing death  / dead bodies  /  generally absolutely grotesque things ,   child death included .   staring at severed appendages .   has seen men literally chopped apart and left in trash containers .    mentally he’s become very sound in a sort of formal way,   in a way he can prioritize his work in an almost obsessive way to move past it all so it won’t catch up with him.   he’s excellent at that mental compartmentalization.   bleeding and dying,   he is still looking for the truth.   he’s seen many gruesome visuals and he notably has nightmares /  terrors in the shows. 9 .   that being said,   he’s had some vivid nightmares since he was a kid. 10 .   some ghosts psychoanalyzed the shit out of him and scully and made them think they shot one another,   which has always been a fear of his since kitsunegari when he saw scully shoot herself in the head and how he almost shot her.   he barely forgave himself for that.    lots of hallucinations and fun stuff.    6X6 11 .   extremely bad migraines that eventually formed into an unresponsive,   violent state that put him in a mental hospital,   where he paced around screaming,   unable to form sentences.   he harmed himself and others until he was medically forced into a catatonic state,    while skinner and others tried to inject him with medicine to revert the state,   resulting in seizures.   he could also read minds during this period but nbd.   a lot of this typically comes back up in   6X22/7X1/2 12 .   got stuck in a simulated reality and drugged by an AI which would just kinda fuck with anyone.   5X11 13 .   his abduction is an entire thing i won’t go into immediately here,   but there was some very severe torture involved that stays with him for the rest of his life. 14 .    his relationship with death is pretty fucked in general.   he should’ve died so many times.

[wherethingscomebackx]

Honorable Mention Larry Fics of 2016 Part 1

These are the fics that didn’t originally make the Top 25 Larry Fics List of 2016. The original list was published according to kudos. These are fics that I consider underrated and I hold very close to my heart or just barely made the cut for the last list. Unlike the last list, this one is in no particular order. I encourage everyone to add to this list if they don’t see their favorites mentioned.

-Bloodline by @banana-louis (177k)

Louis doesn't know how to feel when his best friend, Liam, finds out about a brother that he never knew, who was placed for adoption before he was born and is bursting into his life at twenty-four years old.

Louis is very wary of the man who might replace him. He has always thought of Liam as his own brother.

What if Liam doesn't need him anymore? What if there's no room for Louis? After all, blood runs thicker than water.

Louis doesn't like Liam's new brother and he doesn't even know him. That's irrelevant, though.

He doesn't like him. He doesn't trust him. He doesn't want him hanging around. He doesn't want anything to do with him.

That is, until he meets him.

-All My Sense Come to Life (Cause You’re the Only One) by @larryismyotpuniverse (20k)

"I swear your life is a cheesy rom com."

"Oh and yours isn't?" Liam banters back, voice going deep like he's narrating a film. "Punk boy leaves home in search of something new. He never though he'd find love with the boy who wears crop tops and heeled boots. They pine after each other for a ridiculous amount of time until the best, most attractive character, Liam, comes to the rescue - "

"Really Liam?"

"Okay, okay. Point is, you and him, you're meant to be."

-For All the Things My Hands Have Held (The Best by Far Is You) by @mytinylou (3k)

“When will we sleep for more than three hours uninterrupted?”

“Eighteen more years,” Louis replies jokingly, his laughter rumbling through Harry’s body. “We’ll get through it.”

“The dream team,” Harry says, and Louis pulls him in closer.

Or, the one where Harry worries about raising two kids, but Louis knows they'll always be okay.

-Just Lucky by @mysticbelievexx (13k)

Jay looked uncharacteristically thrilled by her daughter’s latest choice of boyfriend but that could be because the guy was smiling at her in, what could only be described as, a charming manner. Louis inexplicably found himself wishing that smile was directed at him.

Harry couldn’t possibly be his soulmate…could he?

-Let Me Tear Down Into Your Heart by @aimhkink (1k)

Louis likes to pretend he's going into labour, but Harry doesn't.

-It Starts and It Never Fades Away by @mytinylou (4k)

“Niall told me I should put an ad out in order to get a date, and it’s three days before Valentine's Day, so everyone is already gonna have a date, but to get him to shut up, I’m doing this.” Louis turns his computer to face Harry, revealing the word document where he’s typed out the most ridiculous, unappealing, horrifying letter he can think of. “This’ll get Niall to fuck right off, I reckon.”

Or, Louis puts out a flyer to help him get a date he absolutely doesn't want. He gets more than he bargained for.

-Some Promises Are Meant to Be Broken by @miniature-lou (15k)

“Just come back in one piece yeah?”

“You know I always will.”

or. Louis is Spiderman and there is something that could break his and Harry’s only promise.

-Catfish: The TV Show - Louis and ‘Curly’ by Mie1412 (24k)

Minutes went by and Louis got more and more restless. What if Harry wasn’t coming? Had something happened? Had he changed his mind? What if he just didn’t want to meet Louis anyway? Louis wouldn’t be able to bear it. He was so close now. He had to show up.

“Louis…” Nev then suddenly said and Louis looked up, his erratic heartbeats being the only thing he could hear.

[Or, Louis have been talking with Curly for three years. It's now up to Nev and Max to finally bring them together.]

-Taste on My Tongue by @bethaboolou (77k)

Louis Tomlinson, second place winner on TXF four years ago, is looking to reinvent his career.

Harry Styles is a baker who is desperate for a bakery of his own.

Louis doesn't bake. Or cook. Or know how to use an oven.

Take Louis. Take Harry. Add in a heaping cup of sexual tension. Another cup of delicious (and not so delicious) food. A smidgen of competitive spirit. A dash of hopes and dreams. And you get Kitchen Wars, a TV show that promises to be the must-watch event of the fall.

-Tell Me What You Want by @alienproof (10k)

Based on the following prompt:

"Harry is looking for a new roommate after Liam moves in with his girlfriend. After a few bad dates he’s done with men for the moment and wants to concentrate on school. That’s why he’s looking for a female or a straight male roomie. When Niall tells Louis about the free room he leaves that little detail out. Louis, desperately looking for a room, pretends to be straight, thinking it would be easy, until he discovers that Harry likes to be naked at home. His best female friend posing as his girlfriend doesn’t work very well either."

-If My Heart Was A Compass, You’d Be North by @cheekiestcheeky, @heartsoftlouis (55k)

All Louis really cares about is his skateboard, tattoos, football, and his family. He has a job that he (mostly) loves and a (small) handful of good friends, and at 24 he is pretty content with his life... until he nearly crashes into a boy with wild curls and cratered dimples, he begins to think maybe he's been missing something he never knew was missing. That missing piece is apparently big enough for two.

[Or the one where punk Louis likes to think he’s not clumsy, but he suspects he’ll have to accept it when he falls face first into a relationship with a head full of curls and his tiny human.]

-Like Safety and Home by @illouminating (5k)

Harry pulls Louis into a tight tight hug once the cameras have gone away. Louis holds on for longer than she needs to. Harry doesn’t let go either. She smells like suncream and saltwater and strawberry body spray and Louis doesn’t think she’s ever loved someone’s smell more.

-Just Like a Tattoo (I’m Falling For You) by zayndotcom (2k)

Harry shut the apartment door behind him, shaking his hair and the negative aura out. Who cares what Zayn thinks anyway? He wasn't the one who had the phrase, Are those fucking flamingos on your shirt, mate?, permanently tattooed onto his body so his opinion was irrelevant. It was a strange time growing up with that tattooed on him. There was a lot of explaining he had to do in school, but it's not like he could do more than just shrug his shoulders and say, "Soulmate mark?"

in which harry and louis are soulmates and their first words arent the most... romantic ones.

-Second Time’s the Charm by @cherrystreet (8k)

Louis’ mother is convinced she met her son’s soulmate at the market. Louis is extremely hesitant to go on the blind date she’s set up, but she’s persistent, begging and pleading, pulling out all the stops. After all, mothers do know best.

(Or maybe they don’t.)

-Take Me Higher Than I’ve Ever Been by @crimsontheory (51k)

Harry is pretty simple. He goes to work everyday, comes home, then watches Netflix with his cat. And if he happens to have a tiny little crush on his coworker, then that’s just his own business.

[Or the one where Harry and Louis work together and Louis starts to notice Harry back. Featuring a wedding, a sassy cat, and first times.]

-You and You Are Sure Together by @churchrat (48k)

“I’m sorry to bother you twice in one day,” Harry says, settling on Louis’ beanbag—thankfully clear of dirty socks, as Louis had become keenly aware of his room’s being a tip after Harry’s stumbling departure and had gone on one of his intermittent tidying sprees right after he’d left, which consist mostly of shoving clothes into the hamper and papers into his rucksack or one of his desk drawers. Louis’ never been all that good with cleaning. He’d skipped lunch (which is absolutely not a problem) so thankfully all the dishes are clean, including the mug he’s designated for his residents in need of tea during a crisis.

Which—right, Harry’s here. Again.

- AU. The first day of fall term, Louis hits one of his residents in the face with a door. Later that day, said resident seeks refuge after a fight with his roommate.

It becomes a thing.

And then it becomes something else.

-Fallin’ Into You, Falling For Each Other by @therosiestofdaggers (20k)

After years of not trusting Slytherins- even though he and Harry constantly bump into each other, almost like fate- Louis puts aside his inter house bias when his younger sister is sorted into that very house, meanwhile those feelings of hate for Harry change rather quickly.

or the Hogwarts Au nobody asked for.

[flavorednarry]

who do you think the album is about then ? his ex secret girlfriend ? 😂

well…. tbh, i’ve never really spared much thought on “which mysterious girl” must’ve influenced those lyrics cuz, i kinda find them relatable to my own breakup.. so for me, it has always been like- hmm.. yeah.. i get it Niall.. thank you for sharing.. hope you get to move on asap cuz you deserve so much better than this.. love you. i guess i personally dont wanna give any importance to the ‘ex’.. what’s more important is the lessons you learn from your experience and how you turn them into your strengths..

but since you’ve followed up with this ask in my inbox, i pondered over it quiet a lot.. and here’s how it went *bear with me*:

to begin with, lets rewind back to when nolo was being concieved.. niall was 22, free from the hectic 1D schedule for the first time in 5 years.. aka the first time he got a real opportunity to reflect back upon his life since that xfactor audition kicked off..

try to place yourself in his shoes and think.. you’re most likely to relish in your achievements for the first few weeks.. then you come down from your high and the reality of a normal life routine hits you.. you try to cope with it for few weeks but get extremely bored.. so you plan a long getaway trip with your friends.. you get to look at the world from a different perspective.. you enjoy it.. maybe you spot honeymooners among fellow tourists.. and wonder.. these locations are indeed so scenic.. wish i too had someone to romance with :) but, YOU DON’T have anyone! oh the woes of being single! anyways.. so here you are having a personal moment, feeling inspired and so you pen down some lyrical notes in your leather-bound book..

you try to look back into your past and think about the time when you had an active lovelife.. NOW, if i think about the known bits of his love-life, only Holly and Celine come to my mind.. sure, there were others who were rumored to be his girlfriends at various points of his 1D (aka mostly teenage) life.. but, hear me out-

CELINE is certainly not the inspiration for Flicker cuz she arrived in June 2016 and Niall started writing songs in March 2016 viz. soon after he came home from his south-east-asia trip.. and according to Niall, he was in a good song-writing phase at that time.. he wrote This Town, Flicker, Too Much To Ask during this phase..

so, let’s think about these lyrics.. he says This Town is obviously inspired by his hometown Mullingar.. and the lyrics have a duality in a sense that you can relate them to the literal town itself or to your ex/first-love.. in Niall’s case, it could easily be Holly.. their relationship was out in the open, all over the internet when they were 16 and he had just hit enormous popularity on txf as a contestant.. if you look further, you’ll find Niall himself stating on television that they mutually broke-up because they didnt wanna endure the pain that came with the long-distance relationship on account of his success at txf..

CUT TO 2016! he’s gone through and lived his popstar life for six years and is now back home, being the same down-to-earth local irish lad but without Holly this time.. the reason they decided to break-up doesnt exist anymore.. and yet, he cant have her back cuz, she’s moved on.. and graciously! he is genuinely happy for her.. they are still in touch with each other through mutual school friends, he spots her every now an then whenever he’s in Mullingar or Dublin.. and why wont he? after all, they used to hangout in the same pubs with same friends back in the day.. and there are- what? 26 pubs within one mile radius in Mullingar? *gasp* you dont say!

so yeah.. imagine him longing for that selfless-innocent love-life.. its only natural for Niall to cookup an au where he can have the same Holly back as his gf..

My heart is hopingYou’ll walk right in tonightAnd tell me there are things that you regret‘Cause if I’m being honest I ain’t over you yetThat’s all I’m askingIs it too much to ask?

He also said

Too Much To Ask

is actually what happened after

Flicker

When you lay there and you’re sleepingHear the patterns of your breathingAnd I tell you things you’ve never heard beforeAsking questions to the ceilingNever knowing what you’re thinkingI’m afraid that what we had is goneThen I think of the startAnd it echoes a sparkAnd I remember the magic electricityThen I look in my heartThere’s a light in the darkStill a flicker of hope that you first gave to meThat I wanna keepPlease don’t leavePlease don’t leave

.. so i guess this could be them thinking of breaking up and him secretly being selfish and hoping (back in 2009) for a future reunion (viz. present day 2016).. he couldnt say that out loud cuz they were so young and he probably thought he’d move on and find someone else so, better not to keep Holly hanging, right?

And now, coming to all those rumored girlfriends he’s had during 1D era.. i dont know about about all of them.. but, amy, ellie, barbara, melissa, selena are few of the names that floated around.. each of them latched on to him most likely due to his fame.. if any of them were indeed dating him seriously, none of them could probably keep up with his vivacious personality, his loyalty towards that anglo-irish friend circle, his constant on-the-road life, etc. that ultimately led to insufficient boyfriend time, which obviously none of them were okay with.. neither would you be if you were a teenager.. so none of those supposed 'girlfriends’ hold dear to niall’s ailing heart imo.. certainly not enough for him to write a break-up song about.. plus, he’s good friends with almost all of them even today (his instagram activity checks that out)..

BUT, maybe he reflected back upon these casual relationships too to look for inspiration when he hit that “bad-song-writing” phase he talks about.. maybe it was during this phase that he realised that he was looking back at his teenage love-life from an “adult” Niall Horan’s point-of-view.. maybe it was during this time that he sat along with other songwriters and bounced off ideas.. maybe it was during this phase that he decided to take a back-seat on the lyrics front and focus on writing melodies instead.. maybe it was during this time that they wrote songs like On the Loose and Mirrors. Maybe this was also the time he remembered watching House of Cards on netflix.. maybe that was when he probably flipped the title and wrote down Paper Houses in his notebook.. and then came across the note during these writing sessions and they wrote the song around it? maybe by now he was in “good” song-writing zone again and thus songs like The Tide and On My Own were born? I remember him saying they wrote On My Own in a frustrated drunken state.. there was a lot of shouting of lyrics in the studio.. they were letting out their frustration with their single-lives and lack of good inspiration i guess LOL..

Anyways, going back to speaking of “Niall Horan - the adult’s perspective”.. i guess this version of Niall was also curious to know whether Holly or any of his ex’s suffered heartbreak the way he did.. he probably wanted to include the girl’s point of view as well on his album, especially after all that venting out they did in previous songs, it’s only fair to hear out stuff about heartbreak from the other end, right? He’s a 21st century lover after all.. believes in equal opportunity.. understands that relationships and heartbreaks are a two way thing.. maybe this is when he really looked up to the talent that is Ruth Anne Cunningham.. cuz, i find it hard to believe that Niall or any man would conjure up lyrics that resonate so well with a girl’s point of view without having a female co-writer on board.. so here we are with beautifully written songs such as Seeing Blind, Fire Away, You and Me and Since We’re Alone ! Also, since we are on the topic of Niall being a gentleman, you cant ignore the lyrical play of words in Slow Hands -

“We should take this back to my place”That’s what she said right to my face

can you? Throughout the slow-hands-promo-tour he has been saying, they wanted to twist the song’s sexy vibe and have those words being said from a girl’s point-of-view..

To conclude, Niall has said in his interviews, there was certainly only one girl who he wrote songs about for his album and then there were other songs which are not derived from his personal life but are more inspired by people he is surrounded by in his day-to-day life.. some of them maybe about ex’s of his friends who share the same sentiment of breakup as he does.. we’ll probably never know their names and I personally dont think I need that bit of information.. what am i going to do about it? nothing.

If you read this thoroughly, thank you for your patience! :)

[yaz-the-spaz]

Thoughts on scripted?

hey nonnie, so i’m so so sorry i kept you waiting for like four days for this but i just really needed some time to properly process and collect my thoughts (cause i have a lot on this) and take my time to get them down in a coherent way, i still feel like it’s a bit jumbled and unclear at times but i tried my best to explain my thoughts as best i could. i hope it’s sufficient...

My Thoughts on Scripted

so i wanna preface this by making it clear to everyone who may read this that this is strictly my own interpretation of things and my own opinion on what zayn’s trying to convey in this song. personally, i think this song is very much about public images, narratives, and stunting, and sticking it out through all of that, so that’s the direction/theme that a lot of my interpretations of the lyrics in this song are gonna lean towards. you don’t have to agree. in fact, if you disagree that’s fine and i welcome and any all rational and fair/polite discussion on different interpretations of the song and certain verses or lines within it. i’m in no way trying to convince anyone to see anything a certain way (and my own interpretations and thoughts/opinions on this may even evolve or change with time), but i was asked by this nonnie to share my thoughts (currently) on the song and so that’s what i’m doing, and if anyone has a problem with any of the opinions or interpretations stated here i just ask that you address me about it respectfully :)

ok now onto the song analysis:

Blurry TV screens

Fuzzy broken scenes

Finding words don't have flow

Blurry TV screens

Fuzzy broken scenes

Hold her close finding love

so this verse to me seems like it could be meant to have a double meaning, as in 1) the scenes or roles they [he and liam and/or the other boys] have to play out (i.e. stunts, fake dates, scripted interviews, etc. that they feel like they’re playing out like a scene in a movie/tv show - mgmt telling them hold her hand this way, hug/kiss at this angle so it looks more intimate, ok now let’s take this pic/video and then we’ll do another angle; making sure to only show pieces of the story like scenes and only the pieces and angles that fit the narrative they wanna sell, etc.) and/or 2) the time they get to themselves which often feels like only snapshots that go by too quickly and are like a blur/fuzzy in their minds (stolen moments together in between stunt outings and shows and things where they have to perform/are expected to put on and keep up their usual act for the cameras before they can go back to being themselves again/have some time alone together to just be again, etc.), and the “finding words don’t have flow” part could mean because he doesn’t know how to talk about it or express how he feels about it cause he just has so many conflicting feelings (or even just that he can’t talk about it cause he’s not allowed)

Hearts don't feel the same

And the names we like to say

Change with time and age

so this seems to clearly be referring to feelings changing - though not necessarily in a bad way, maybe just maturing and growing together and changing as people, as in the infatuation is gone and you love each other differently than you did when you first got together but there’s still so much unconditional love there it’s just a different (like a more serious or maybe even a deeper) kind of love, or could be referring to friendships (whether between him and the boys or other people from his personal life) and those friendships changing or even fading with time, or even feelings about a situation changing over time; it could also be taken a bit more literally too of course as well and have a negative meaning as in we don’t love each other anymore/don’t feel the same way about each other anymore/aren’t as close anymore (again whether between friends or a romantic partner, or even not feeling the same way about a situation anymore, etc.), it’s all up to interpretation i guess and how you choose to see it but i think it can be thought of in lots of different ways

for the names thing i think this can also have multiple meanings, like maybe it could be referring to names he and liam and/or the boys call each other (friendly nick names, pet names as a couple, etc.) and/or the names they’re made to mention/promo in interviews, like how some periods we would get a bunch of louis and zayn mentioning each other or niall and zayn mentioning each other lilo or niam mentioning each other, etc. and then other times they’d be promo-ing other random people (like liam mentioning charlie puth every 2 seconds for a while, etc.)

[fyi i’ll be skipping over any repeating refrains/verses since there’s no real need to re-hash things over again or take up unnecessary space with lines that have already been talked about]

So I

I don't wanna say what's scripted

Whether you are or aren't with it

I know what I need

'Cause I

I don't wanna say what's scripted

Whether you are or aren't with it

I know what I need

this part i think is pretty obvious (and i think a lot of people agree) that it’s most likely referring to having to say scripted lines in interviews and things of that sort and that’s why he avoids it so much, he doesn’t wanna be forced or used to sell the narratives they want him to sell and say the company lines they want him to say, he “knows what he needs” and that’s to stay away as much as he can from engaging in all the bs

but again i think it could also have a double meaning in that he maybe doesn’t wanna say or do generic things either and this can be in regards to life in general or more specifically with his romantic partner, like he doesn’t wanna say or do what he’s expected to say/do, he wants to be different and to do things differently/do things in his own unique way (in life in general, but also maybe in his relationship like finding other ways to say “i love you” or to show his love, finding other ways to be together that don’t necessarily follow “traditional” paths which also could be a nod them being in a [conventionally-speaking] “untraditional” relationship, which a lot of people would consider a same-sex interracial interfaith relationship between two huge self-proclaimed dorks lmao to be)

i think it’s important to note that he also includes a snippet of an interview shortly after this part in which he talks about sex not being as meaningful anymore with this generation and how that was a part of what he was trying to convey on ‘let me.’ which begs the question why? why draw attention to this specific interview (one that references ‘let me’) out of all the interviews he could’ve chosen? why draw attention back to such a romantic song (and to the idea of meaningful sex and meaningful relationships) in the middle of this dark part of the album that seems to (imo) mostly be about the negative sides of the industry? we’ll get back to my theory on that in a moment but in the meantime…

there’s also the fact that the melody of song is very somber through most of the song and i think that’s intentional because it kind of serves to evoke the pain and sadness he feels over his situation and i think he wants the listeners to feel and understand that as well and to understand why, to understand all the little things about his whole situation that make him so sad and the main thing seems to be that he has to “say what’s scripted” when he doesn’t want to and isn’t truly allowed to be himself or say or do what he wants as much as he would like. BUT—here’s where we get back to my theory on why he suddenly calls our attention back to such a romantic song and to the idea of meaningful relationships

not long after this point in the song (after the chorus repeats again) the melody suddenly changes, all of a sudden it feels less somber (at least to me), i would almost even characterize it as kind of tentatively hopeful/tentatively optimistic if i had to put a label on it, my theory is that he’s setting for the stage for what comes next, getting us ready for a change in tune (literally but also figuratively as in a change in theme) and then we get this

You'd still remember my eyes

Even if the Men In Black flashed

Their light into your eyes

For the second time this night

It feels right when it's, only you and I

so this seems to be a nod to a huge recurring theme on this album which is this idea of always remembering each other/always being fated to find each other (through space and time and making it together through all kinds of obstacles, etc.)—aka SOUL MATES—which so many songs on this album seem to reference over and over and over again…and which as an aside always reminds me of that moment in an interview (sorry i tried but i couldn’t find a link to it) where i think they’re talking about what would have happened in an alternative universe/timeline if they hadn’t gone on txf and weren’t famous or something like that and zayn says he’s not sure if he would’ve met liam cause “i don’t tend to do much in me own time” and liam’s like “but you might have” and zayn’s like “yeah but maybe” not and Liam Not Having Any of It Payne insists “but then again you might have”

but anyway all that to say that i think it’s clear by this recurring theme that zayn’s definitely since come around to the idea lol and has even adopted him for himself and decided to make into a running theme on the album and not only that but clearly he’s come to believe that the romantic partner (i.e. liam) he keeps alluding to in so many songs on the “icarus” side is his soulmate and they can make it through anything

[but again, as with a lot of the other lines in this song (and on this album in general) i think there’s a small chance this verse could also be have a double meaning as well, possibly as a reference to the fans and how mgmt/1dhq has repeatedly tried to basically do a madagasar penguins ‘you didn’t see anything’ move on us and act like the shit we know we saw never happened by panic-deleting videos and releasing bs articles and manipulating the boys’ twitters; it’s a rather flimsy theory i know, esp given that all the other lines surrounding it suggest that it’s more likely in reference to a personal relationship than a more general reference that could be applied to fans but it’s just something that’s been in the back of my mind ever since i first heard the song so just putting it out there]

Oh, you and I

Oh, you and I

Oh, you and I

Oh, you and I

do i even need to say anything about this?

he repeats it five times which…interesting number first off 😏 (and also separates out the other four from the first one which again - interesting)…but also makes it pretty evident that this is a line that’s being very much emphasized, that has serious meaning, that he wants you to pay attention to, that much is obvious not only in the repetition but the fact that it deviates from the composition of the rest of the song - the music changes/falls away to just a very simple (piano?) melody and beat, the focus is mostly on just his voice and it’s the ever enigmatic “you” that he’s singing to (that also seems to be a running theme on both albums, as he often—not necessarily always but often—seems to differentiate between this “you” and other people/pronouns/things referred to in his songs) in a slightly sped up but very similar style to the style of the harmonies in you & i, a song in which he had very notable harmonies with liam (that’s possibly regarded as the most unequivocal ziam song) that they often romantically and openly serenaded each other with (like specifically turned to each other just to sing to each other), that liam said was his favorite song off the midnight memories album, that liam got a line from (“i figured it out”) permanently tattooed on his arm right below the feather that was widely believed to be the missing feather from zayn’s then chest tattoo (and which many believed being with zayn was the “thing” he figured out), a song that liam cried during the first few times they performed it without zayn, and a song that’s about nothing be able to come between two soulmates people in love who are destined to be together and that clearly had a lot of special meaning to them both (and that the fandom knows and that i’m sure they also know is widely regarded as a ziam song because as liam said on many occasions they see what we say about them, they know what goes on and what we think about the stuff they do/say) - all of that leads me to believe that this was a calculated and very obvious/deliberate move by zayn to emphasize this part in the song so clearly, a [huge] red herring if you will, and i would argue that it has even more significance not only just because of all that’s mentioned above but also because of the fact that he chose to include these lines in a song on the “falls” side of the album, the side that’s supposed to be the more negative/dark side (and the side that i believe is largely representative of his feelings and experience with fame and the entertainment industry). which to me suggests that the overarching message that he’s trying to get across/convey with this song is basically that everything may be shit with how things are being run and the stuff he (and the other boys) are made to do and say but he’s always gonna go his own way and regardless of what gets thrown at them he and liam (and the rest of ot5) are gonna make it through together

[baronessblixen]

The Dress

Written for this week’s challenge over at @txf-prompt-box​! Also tagging @fictober​ and @today-in-fic​

Prompt:  A FBI charity event

bonus: Skinner’s there!

double bonus: Scully’s dress gets torn

I’d say it’s set in season 7.

Maybe she should have worn something else. She would have, she thinks, if she and Mulder hadn’t just come home from a case the night before. She barely had time to do laundry, let alone go dress shopping. Scully didn’t think it’d be a problem anyway. When Skinner told them, or rather demanded that they attend the FBI charity event, Scully nodded, looked at Mulder, who less than enthusiastically nodded as well, and marked it in their office calendar. She knew she had a dress in the closet that would work just fine. What do you think Skinner will do if this case takes us out of town for longer? Mulder asked with a smirk three days ago, pointing at the big red x in the calendar. But luck wasn’t on his side; the case wrapped yesterday, just in time, and now here she is. Dressed in a black cocktail dress that’s just the tiniest bit too tight. Scully holds in her stomach for a moment. They’ve on the road a lot lately. All that diner food; the fries she keeps stealing off Mulder’s plate and the burgers she pretends not to like but actually loves. That dress used to fit her perfectly. Scully eyes herself, turns around and around, just looking at her reflection. A few years ago the dress would not have fit either. Instead of being too tight, though, it was would have been too loose. This, she decides, is much better. The door bell rings and Scully is surprised that Mulder is indeed on time.

“Scully…” Is all he says. His eyes roam over her body, take a moment here and there to dwell, before they move on. No words are needed. Scully feels herself blush, smile, and for the moment forgets that the dress is too tight.

“You look nice, too, Mulder.” He nods at her, puts his hand on the small of her back, and leads her out. In the car, Mulder is mostly quiet. Scully was fully prepared to listen to his complaints. I don’t want to go, Scully. I want to stay home, Scully. Why do we have to go there, Scully? None of these come out of his mouth. He mentions once that instead of throwing expensive charity events, the FBI could spring for better hotel rooms but that’s it.

The charity event is well underway when they arrive. They watch Skinner, his bald head red and shiny in the spotlight, as he announces that all proceeds will be used to support mental health programs for law enforcement officers. Mulder and Scully dutifully clap along before Mulder goes to get them drinks. By now Scully is used to being Mrs. Spooky and being treated as such. She and Mulder, in the eye of their colleagues, are inseparable. They most likely are, she thinks, as Mulder returns with a white wine spritzer for her. He didn’t even ask what she wanted; he knew. The way everyone is looking at her tonight, though, makes her uncomfortable. Mulder, as so often, seems completely oblivious.

“I am very glad to see you here, agents.” Skinner greets them with a curd nod. As if they ever had a choice.

“We’re happy to be here.” Mulder remarks, his voice dripping sarcasm, and takes a big sip from his drink.

“It’s for a good cause agent Mulder.”

“Sure.”

“Agent Scully, are you all right?” Scully stares at her boss. She is, in fact, not all right. Still, she nods and hopes that her superior can’t tell she’s lying. A wave of nausea hits her as she raises her glass to her mouth.

“Well, have fun you two. I know I said the event was mandatory but I still thought you’d find your way out of it.” Their boss walks off and Mulder turns to her.

“He sounded proud, don’t you think?” He chuckles. “You think we can leave now?”

“We’ve been here five minutes, Mulder.” Her head feels funny. Not as funny as her stomach, though. Her hand shaking slightly, Scully puts down the glass. She could swear everyone is watching her. Sweat breaks out on her forehead as she puts both her hands on the counter in front of them.

“Oh look, there’s agent Johnson. I didn’t know he was married.” Mulder sounds like a regular gossip girl and Scully wonders why he even cares. Her mouth, however, won’t cooperate. She’s cold, she’s warm, she’s nauseated. Her hand reaches for a napkin but her fingers can’t hold on to it. It falls to the ground and Scully doesn’t even think about it as she crouches down to pick it up. She feels rather than hears her dress tear at the side.

“Noooo.” The word is out before she can stop herself. The nausea intensifies and Scully wonders, seriously considers, laying down right here, right now and just close her eyes. Torn dress and all.

“Scully?” His hand is on her shoulder and his face close to hers. Tears spring to her eyes and she doesn’t know why, doesn’t want to think about it; she just wants it to stop.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” His voice is way too soft as he helps her stand up. Scully holds her side, hopes that no one is watching them closely, even if she still feels like hundreds of eyes are only on them.

“My dress.” She says, hoping Mulder can hear her weak voice amidst the turmoil surrounding them. He can. He puts his hand, much larger than hers, over the ripped fabric. His skin comes into contact with hers and its warmth is just right. As he leads her away from the party, and she really doesn’t care where they go right now, she thinks of the last time she felt his skin on hers, his warmth against her. Months ago, their walls down, their emotions high. An innocent peck on turned into full blown kisses. Words and reasoning were swallowed, kissed away. One night. Just one. In the morning, Mulder warm and cozy beside her, fast asleep, Scully got up, got dressed and left. Just like that. They didn’t speak about it, didn’t mention, or even just hinted at it. If she didn’t know better, she’d wonder if it had really happened.

“I’m taking you home.” Mulder, here and now, says. But Scully can’t leave. Her stomach somersaults and her hand shoots up to cover her mouth. She drags Mulder to a restroom, doesn’t care that it’s the ladies room. No one is in there as Scully stumbles into a stall and gets sick. Violently. Mulder is by her side in an instant, his hand on her back, soothing her with words. Her skin is cold where the dress gaps open and she shivers.

“You’re scaring me, Scully.” Mulder’s voice is shaky, quiet against her ear.

“I’m sorry, Mulder.”

“No, no, no. Don’t be sorry,” he kisses her head and lets his lips linger there, “I think we should have you checked out at the hospital. How long have you been feeling sick?”

“I haven’t.” But her mind begins to nag her. She’s been feeling dizzy lately. The other week she was sick a couple of mornings. There’s something she’s not seeing, she can feel it.

“I know we haven't… when we… that night a few months ago. I hope that’s not… I hope you know nothing has changed. If you’re feeling sick, if there’s-” and that’s when it hits her. It hits her like a truckload of bricks. Morning sickness. The tight dress. The nauseating smell of the white wine spritzer.

“Scully?”

“Mulder, I don’t need to go to the hospital. I need a drugstore.”

“What?” She turns to him. She knows she must look horrible; she sees it in his miserable expression he’s wearing. Right now, it doesn’t matter. Even her bad breath doesn’t matter.

“I need a… uhm, I need a pregnancy test.”

“A… pregnancy… test.” His eyes grow bigger with every word. “You mean… we could have? I mean, I presume it was, well, me?” She smiles at him, unable to say anything else right now. They don’t need words, anyway. Mulder takes off his jackets and helps her into it. As they walk out of the restroom, she knows that certain eyes follow them, wonder and gossip. She looks up at Mulder, he glances back at her, and she sees hope and love reflected there. That’s the only thing that matters right now.

[baronessblixen]

Sleepyhead

Just a short silly piece today. Written for this week’s @txf-prompt-box challenge: Someone falling asleep during an important meeting. Bonus: How is the sleeping person woken up? Double bonus: Told from a 1st person POV. Set in season 7. 

Also tagging @fictober and @today-in-fic

I don't often admit this, but I can sleep just about anywhere. I've woken up, or startled awake, in cars, in planes and once at a restaurant. As easily as I fall asleep, though, the opposite is true for Mulder. Sometimes it seems to me like he can only find rest when the stars align.  

That, apparently, is not the case today. He's quiet, which is never a good sign in any case, and sitting still. Mulder never sits still during a meeting, important or not. I should be listening to what Skinner is talking about; I swear he keeps throwing us looks even though we're in the back of the room, half hidden in the shadows. A good thing, too, because Mulder's head lolls about and eventually lands on my shoulder. I leave it there for a moment, the weight welcome. If Mulder is asleep, he can't distract me. I can listen to Skinner's monologue about - Mulder's head shoots up and he looks around, confused and lost like a puppy. Mulder blinks at me with glassy eyes as if he's never seen me before. 

"Meeting. Skinner." I mouth using simple words that hopefully penetrate his brain. I motion to the front of the room where Skinner is currently fighting with the projector. Mulder nods, turns towards Skinner's voice. Great. Now I can listen for real. I've jotted down a few notes that make no sense to me at the moment. I'll go through them afterwards. Less than five minutes later the sound of Skinner's voice and my pen scratching against paper is disrupted by Mulder snoring. Oh no. I stare him intently as if that could wake him. It doesn't. I nudge his side but Mulder sleeps on. Another snore that's luckily quiet enough only I can hear it. But I know I've got to wake him up. I put my hand on his thigh, squeeze it. Nothing happens. I squeeze again, harder, digging my nails into him. Mulder, instead of waking up, moans. And not even out of hurt. Chairs squeak as a few heads turn around to us. I quickly take my hand off Mulder's thigh; they talk about us enough as it is. When I'm sure that no one is looking at us anymore, I lean in closer to Mulder. I'm momentarily distracted by how good he smells. 

"Mulder." I whisper as insistently as I can. No reaction. His breathing is deep, even. If I'd known Skinner's voice had this effect on him, I would have recorded it years ago. 

"Mulder!" I put my mouth directly to his ear. He shudders, sighs, and sleeps on. Mulder and frustration go hand in hand, but right now I am so agitated I seriously consider slapping him. There's another sure fire way to wake him up, one I've only recently discovered. It's not something I care to do in a room full of other agents, though.

It's time to accept that no matter how important this meeting might be, I have no idea what it is about. Thanks to Rip Van Winkle next to me. I put my hand back on his thigh and this time I dig my nails into it hard. Really hard.

"No!" Mulder yelps and his head shoots up. The room falls silent, heads turn around again and Skinner squints to see us better.

"You don't agree with my assessment, Agent Mulder?"

"Uhm…" Mulder looks at me, pleadingly. "Excuse me, Sir." Mulder scrambles to his feet and flees the room. Leaving me with the mess as always.

"Agent Scully?"

"I think I should make sure Agent Mulder is all right." I mumble and Skinner nods. We'll be summoned to his office later, his expression says. I squeeze past other agents, used to their pitying and amusing looks. I expect to find Mulder right outside the door, but he's not there. Since almost every agent is in the briefing room, I don't have any qualms about stepping into the men's restroom.

"Mulder?" I ask loudly just in case. 

"Is this not the men's room?" I hear a miserable voice from behind the door.

"It is," I say and walk closer, "Open the door, sleepyhead." It swings open with a soft squeak. He looks just as terrible as he just sounded.

"Are you all right?"

"What happened in that room, Scully?"

"You were asleep and I… I woke you up. I'm sorry, Mulder. I didn't mean to hurt you. You weren't waking up."

"You didn't hurt me," he says but he's rubbing this thigh, "I was asleep?"

"Comatose, basically." I smile at him so that he knows there are no bad feelings. His sad puppy eyes get me every time. The longer I look at him now, the more I am convinced that something is off. "Mulder, how are you feeling?" His eyes are still glassy. Sweat glistens on his forehead and his cheeks are covered in a soft pink tinge.

"Sleepy. I'm sorry I fell asleep, Scully." I get closer to him and touch his forehead. It feels warm.

"It's all right, Mulder. I think you might be having a cold."

"I'm not sick, Scully." He answers quickly. "I was uhm… having a dream." The tinge intensifies. 

"A dream?" He nods. "What about?"

"You," he lifts his head and eyes me carefully, "and me." I can tell what nature that dream was just by his look. Now it's me who blushes. We haven't been dating long and every admission that he thinks about me in 'that way' still feels new and unreal. 

"Oh." 

"Yeah."

"I guess it's a good thing then that I didn't do that other thing to wake you."

"What other thing?" He grins; he knows exactly what I'm talking about. I don't care, though. The meeting is a lost cause anyway and we're all alone here. I put my hand on his thighs and lean forward so that our lips are almost touching. 

"This thing." I whisper and kiss him.

[baronessblixen]

If Cows Could Fly

My entry for this week’s @txf-prompt-box challenge. It’s nothing but fluff and I’m not even sorry. Set sometime after “Rain King”. 

A Hot Air Balloon Ride!

bonus: The balloon isn’t of a regular shape.

"Mulder explain to me again why we're in a hot air balloon?" They're about 3000 feet in the air, rising steadily and Scully, instead of enjoying it, glances at him expectantly. She can't let go. Look around, he wants to tell her cause she's not believing his story anyway. He's tried. Twice.

"Like I already told you Scully, Skinner gave these tickets to us."

"Mulder..." Even the third time is no charm. Scully, his ever skeptic partner, refuses to believe his story. True, it's a bit of there. But for once, it's the truth.

"Scully, I'm telling you. Don't you remember that e-mail they sent around a few weeks ago? The FBI wants to commemorate their best, most successful agents. Congrats, partner. That's us."

"But with a hot air balloon ride?"

"They're not going to send us on some all-inclusive vacation in the Poconos." Mulder shrugs. For him it's a dream come true. Albeit a dream he didn't know he had, but he's not going to question this, or analyze this. He, for one, is happy. All alone in the air with Scully where no one can see them or hurt them. It's perfect.  

"They could have sprung for a nice dinner." Scully mumbles while buttoning up her coat. The higher up they go, the colder it gets despite the warmth the balloon spews at them. Mulder has to stop himself from smirking. He'll gladly help her get warm. His lewd thought is interrupted by a change in her expression; is softens, brightens up. Mulder follows her look and sighs. Under them, everything looks tiny and peaceful. Like a miniature version of the real world.

"The world can be rather beautiful, huh?" Mulder isn't sure she even heard him. The swish of the air around them is loud, yet calming. He steps closer to her and she doesn't move away. They're almost touching and Mulder can no longer tell if the heat he's feeling comes from her or the balloon.

"I'm not saying this isn't nice, Mulder, and I'm still not sure about your story, but..."

"But what?"

"Why are we in balloon that looks like a cow? With wings no less. Mulder, cows don't have wings."

"Hey, you can't know that. Only the cows we know have never sprouted wings." Her raised eyebrow lets him know that she's not amused. He, however, can't hold back his grin. He could have picked one of the other balloons. But he kept imaging himself up here with Scully and he didn't want them to be in a pig. A flying pig? No, thank you. Or Goofy. Of course the FBI signed them up for a company that exclusively owned silly balloons. When Skinner handed him the tickets, the blush visible even on his bald, shiny head, he mumbled the name "Fun Riders" like it was the name of a shady strip club. Mulder briefly wonders how Scully would have reacted to a trip to the strip club. Paid in full by their employer.

"Why did you pick the cow?"

"Remember Holman Hardt? That case in Kroner, Kansas?"

"I think so, yes. You thought his unrequited love for his high school crush was influencing the weather. Where are you going with this?" Mulder rolls his eyes at her obvious denial; they both know that Holman's feelings did have an impact on the weather. He decides to let it go this time.

"That one night he made a cow fly right through the roof of my motel room." Mulder reminds her instead.

"I don't remember that."

"You don't? We had to share a room." That's something he can't forget. They'd shared rooms before, of course. And he is used to being around a sleeping Scully because she can fall asleep anywhere, any time. That was the first, and so far only time, they had to share a bed though.        

"That I do remember."

"I uhm, wanted to pay tribute to, well…"

"The cow?"

"Not the cow."

"Then what, Mulder?"

"Nothing. It was a stupid idea, forget it."

"I can't forget it, Mulder. We're up in the air. We've got," she checks her watch, "about another hour and a half ahead of us. As nice as this is, I don't want us to say nothing to each other."

"We could play I spy, Scully." She shakes her head gently, a smile sneaking up on her.

"Mulder, if you could control the weather," she says and his ears perk up, "what would it be like now?"

"I thought you didn't believe in that sort of thing, Scully. Maybe the air up here is too thin for you to think clearly." She shoots him a look, a very obvious don't be an idiot look, Mulder that he secretly loves.

"Come on, Mulder. What would your weather be like?" Before answering, Mulder looks around him. It's a sunny day in September, neither too warm nor too cold. The wind caresses the few spots of skin that are not covered by his clothes. It causes Scully's hair to flap against her cheeks softly, framing her face perfectly.

"I think Scully… this weather right here is what I'd pick." She smiles at him, desperately trying to catch that one loose strand of hair that keeps escaping her. He watches for a moment mesmerized but then his hand reaches out, comes into brief contact with hers, and he tucks the strand of hair away safely.

"There." He whispers unnecessarily.

"Thank you." She blushes but doesn't move away from him. Not that there's much space to do so anyway. Mulder doubts that Skinner wanted something like this to happen up here in the air; Mulder and Scully unable to flee the scene and consequently, their feelings. Up here they're stuck together with every unspoken sentiment they've ever had.

"If you could, you know, control the weather, Scully… what would you do?"

"I'd pick this one, too, Mulder. But that's not how it works, is it? Holman Hardt didn't pick the weather. It was merely a reflection of his unspoken feelings." He loves this woman. He knew it before of course, even told Scully, and she pretended not to believe him, but right now the feeling washes over him in a steady wave, almost knocking him down.

"Well, does it reflect your feelings?" He asks carefully. His feelings are brewing up a storm. It all depends on Scully what kind of storm it will be. He is thinking sunshine and explosions of rainbows. One word from her and she can turn it into a violent thunderstorm with rain for days, though.

"You know what I really thought when you told me about this hot air balloon ride? I thought you were… asking me out. On a date."

"Oh."

"Yes, 'oh'. But you kept insisting on the story that Skinner gave you the tickets. That this is nothing more than an obligatory thing." He can show her the receipts because of course Skinner made him fill out a form. She can ask Skinner and he'll confirm his story. But looking at her he feels like that's not what she wants to hear right now. Lately, they had been moving into this direction. A date. Or something resembling one at least. If only he'd seen that she was ready for it, too.  

"Scully, you asked me why I picked the cow, right?" She nods.

"I only told you about the whole thing once I'd picked out the balloon myself. I wanted that cow because… I never told you this, but… that night when the cow came flying through the roof? My first thought after it happened was you. I thought of you. Not any specific thought, not the typical what will Scully think of this train of thought I tend to have. No, I just thought of your name. Of you. Because to me, you are… well, everything. I realized it that moment. Maybe not that exact moment but in all the immediate moments that came after."

"They never did check you for a head injury, did they?" Her voice is soft, crumbling. Tears swim in her eyes that, he is sure of it, she would deny if he brought it up. Just the wind, she'd say. He knows it and it makes him grin, cause she, too, is smiling up at him.

"They didn't have to. Nothing wrong with my head." Another raised eyebrow. "At least not like that and definitely not caused by a flying cow. It was not my idea to go on a hot air balloon ride, no. I swear Skinner gave me the tickets, but… I wanted it to be something special. I'm not saying it's a date, because that would be presumptuous of me, and I didn't exactly ask you. But would it be the worst thing… for a first date?"

"No, Mulder," she is so close to him, he feels like they're becoming one person. Her face, too, seems to come closer. So very, very close to his, "It's definitely not bad for a first date." Then her lips are there. They meet his as the balloon hisses and sizzles. Or maybe it's just them. Their lips move together as if they've never done anything else, as if they've long been acquainted with each other.

"You know what Scully?" Mulder asks when they break the kiss. "It's like Skinner arranged our first date."

"Let's not tell him about that, all right?" He nods against her, his nose nuzzling her neck. He wonders if anyone has ever attempted sex on a hot air balloon and if it would qualify them for the mile high club. Maybe another time, he thinks.

"And you better not wait for Skinner to arrange a second one." He definitely won't, Mulder thinks, as he captures her lips again.