#cause they know if they're gone for like more than a week people might freak out about it........

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

n addition to not being that much more impressive than many in 1A, I never understood why “Explosion” was thought to be “perfect for heroics” in the first place. First of all, it’s a destructive quirk, and despite the prevalence of fire-quirked heroes, I’d expect the first reaction of most adults to a destructive quirk is to think “future-villain” - especially when wielded by a kid with no respect for property damage. Secondly, a lot of what makes it “good for heroics” is down to Bk’s intensive training - using it fly, etc - not things that would have been immediately obvious in elementary school.

Separately, I agree with what a few others have said that what makes Bk’s quirk seem so strong is his intensive training of it and his endless aggression. (Honestly, half of the kids should have found it psychologically hard to to actually attack someone with their quirk in their first class.) When other kids are actually worried about maiming someone, they’re not going to be using the constant 150% aggression like Bk.

Explosion is a 1 trick pony quirk at the end of the day. Or at least it should be but Hori gives Katsuki insane plot armor. Seriously, his stun grenade, ability to attack from a range, and his smokescreen clearing strike are BS.

This is why I always say there are two school of thoughts on Explosion Quirks: villain or hero.

For me, I think people praising him really focused on the combat aspect of his Quirk because heroism had become about fighting rather then saving people. I think a bright kid, with rich parents because they're a model and fashion designer the guy has money, Bakugou was placated by others even more. His willingness to train and work with his Quirk led to him being praised more.

Its a headcanon kids like Bakugou get specialized training for his Quirk because of how dangerous it can be. I imagine the trainer was shocked by how dedicated Bakugou was and praised him. It got around and everyone knew this kid was strong, wanted to be a hero, and had a combative Quirk.

So that can be why its him being praised so much, by a bunch of people focusing on combat not anything else.

Not sure about ‘kids finding it hard to attack others’ cause kids are nasty. I remember being like six and punching another kid in the face. Plus I had a brother two years older then me, and a cousin a week younger.

The three of us were nightmares and I ain't gonna lie if I was Bakugou I’d be using it on them one time. Of course I'd be horrified by them being hurt and would have been grounded so hard.

Little kids dont really have the ability to know right from wrong and empathy is very low but Bakugou… I've pointed out how malicious the Deku name is (and I will yell it still it occurred before Izuku was diagnosis and it was never a kind nickname) for a freaking toddler and while yeah Hori did it, whole thing is still disturbing.

His attacks are a bit BS and I think Hori was having to come up with a reason he's around because he is just that guy with an explosion Quirk. Mind I personally think Hori didn't like Bakugou but when he got super popular had to keep him around.

Everyone knows my thoughts on how Bakugou's arch should have gone. He's honestly such a boring character now to me, because I had that upswing of anger at him and now it's 'and here is Bakugou with a loud Quirk who somehow despite the logical assumptions is the best above everyone'. He's so boring.

The more I really think about it, the more I wanna really have Bakugou just be there. Have Izuku move past him without realizing it, and have Todoroki take the place as rival. I am not going to lie: the idea of Todoroki staying a rival for longer then canon (and actually presenting himself as a rival early on) is attractive as hell. He's RIGHT THERE. The son of the number two hero raised to surpass All Might constantly fighting against the protoge of All Might! The drama, the action.

I'd honestly only have the reveal of Todoroki's past be when the summer camp happens, and that's when Todoroki turns from rival to friend. Not the weird ass thing Hori did with Bakugou.

But yeah, you're not wrong.

[playertwotails]

Okay so this has been circling around in my head for like two weeks like a fly hitting windows in a sun-room.

So I'm back on my Tails kitsune AU bullshit and I've also recently gotten into Cult of the Lamb so now they've mashed in my brain into a hodgepodged gloop.

And it's all going below the cut if you wanna read my brain worms cause it's long

***Trigger warning for like blood and cults and kidnapping and drugging. Just to give people a heads up (nothing too graphic or detailed but just in case and let me know if you think I missed anything I might need to warn people about)****

Little side note before jumping into this: do not tag as shipping, there is no shipping here it's all platonic and familial. If I see a ship tag I will block you.

Starting off it doesn't matter if Tails is actually a kitsune or not (I personally prefer that yes he is just for the post situation of the gang all being like "okay so what species is Tails actually???" )

I've just had this idea in my head where some cult somewhere is started and they worship kitsune's as godlike entities. They then catch wind of Tails in the news or rumors and their target is now locked.

So this cults leader gets the 'big brain but head actually empty' idea to kidnap Tails like any sane cult leader would.

Now these people somehow stumble ass backwards into kidnapping Tails and keeping him contained. And by keeping him contained they're basically drugging Tails just enough he's conscious but nonreactive. And they basically dress him up and drag him to their ceremonies as more of object than a kid. Tails is hating it and actually scared cause what the hell is wrong with these people let him go home.

Meanwhile Sonic and the gang are all freaking out cause "WHERE IS HE??!!!!" Cause lets be honest kidnapped by a cult was not on any of their bingo cards and at this point they don't know that's what happened, they only know Tails is gone and none of the usual suspects have him.

Rouge starts going through her contacts on the side looking for any crumb of information and gets a lead. And in typical Rouge fashion splits off on her own to look into it. She then comes across the cult and infiltrates their compound.

During her snooping though she overhears the leader of the cult and his subordinates talking about "living forever through the blood of their god's mortal form", sees a statue of a multi-tailed fox and all the red flags are immediately up for her. Internal panic button is smashed. 2 + 2 = fucked up situation.

She's already pressing the "get your asses here" button on her communicator and tears off as quickly but quietly as she can looking for Tails. When she finds him he's in a locked room just laying in bed, all dressed up in a white outfit. Which strange for her to see him just laying there since normally he'd be out and gone long time ago She sees what they've been giving him next to the bed and she's now double pissed off. (I like to think it's at least been over a week Tails has been missing, but if you wanna get really angsty make about 6 months, just as long as Sonic was locked up in Forces).

As gently but quickly as she can she bundles up Tails and carries him cause at this point he's got so much in his system he can't walk or talk, blinking is kinda his only form of communication at the moment. To which Rouge doesn't know what's worse, for Tails to have been asleep for the whole time unaware or to be awake for the whole time and know what's happening.

Tails on the other hand is just so happy to see her and scared that he starts crying. Which is just breaking Rouge's heart to witness as she starts to backtrack out of there with him, with him just silently crying nonstop in her arms.

Unfortunately only about halfway to the exit they discover Tails is gone and the place starts going into lock down with cultist swarming the halls of the place. And even though Rouge is an excellent fighter, she's in close quarters with a kid who can't walk so she's quickly overrun by cultist who tie her up and take Tails back.

The leader then using all of his one brain cell figures she's already signaled to the other's where they are and he knows it's only a matter of time before the fastest thing on the planet busts their door down looking for his little brother.

The leader announces to the group they're moving up the ceremony to now much to Rouge's horror and they drag her along too kicking and screaming cause they don't have time to drop her off in a cell or anything.

Everyone is now in this big ceremony/chapel room that has a big stone table covered in white flowers, that suspiciously is the perfect size for an 8 year old fox to lay down on. And the leader does just that laying Tails on the table.

Rouge is throwing an absolute fit and cursing everyone out cause no way in hell is she gonna let this happen, it's to the point multiple people are having to hold her down even with her tied up cause she's kicking up such a storm of rage.

Meanwhile, Tails is mentally absolutely freaking out in a panic and is terrified out of his mind, especially when the leader brings out a large ornate knife and starts chanting something.

As the leader is finishing up and reeling back his hand with the knife Sonic busts in and sees all of this. Immediately rushing to the table just as the cult leader goes for the downswing.

Sonic just barely catches the knife about an inch from Tails' chest grabbing on to the blade of it and cutting his hand which drips onto Tails.

Now Sonic finally has a moment to process all of this and what exactly is happening and for obvious reasons he is beyond pissed off. He's probably not far off from turning into dark Sonic or it's creeping around the edges of him. And just as he's about to send the cult leader to meet his maker he glances at Tails' face and that's the only reason he doesn't kill the leader right then and there. Cause Sonic thought Tails was asleep but now he notices not only is Tails somewhat awake but tears are streaming down his face.

So Sonic does the next best thing in this situation, knocks out the leader in less than a second and just pulls Tails into a hug off the table and starts just sobbing with Tails in his lap curled up on the floor. Cause the horror of what about happened and the relief Tails is okay and he found him in time hits Sonic all at once.

The rest of the cultists are still frozen cause for Sonic, Tails and the leader all that happened in less than a minute and the group is still catching their bearings of everything that just happened. Which is a good thing cause in that moment everyone else catches up and runs into this whole scene.

From their perspective though they just see Sonic sobbing over a limp Tails with blood on his chest (from Sonic's hand but they don't know that), a guy knocked out (or possibly dead??) next to them, a big stone table that suspiciously looks like an alter also next to them, Rouge who is still cursing up a storm tied up in the corner and held down by like 5 people, and a room full of people in matching robes that look like the guy up near Sonic and Tails.

The rest of the group now splits off with Amy and Knuckles running over to Sonic and Tails, Shadow going for the leader on the ground, Omega going to help Rouge, and the rest of their friends they had helping them splitting off to take care of the rest of the cultists.

From here everything gets resolved, cultists and leader locked up, Tails getting what ever drugs they were giving him out of his system and going home and everyone somewhat going back to their lives. Sonic however does not leave Tails' side for a while and hovers around him which for the first few weeks Tails appreciates cause if he's honest he doesn't want Sonic to be far from him either after everything and really doesn't want to be alone for long. Tails get constant nightmares about the situation and is snuggling with his big brother almost every night. Which is great for Sonic cause he's also getting terrible nightmares from the ordeal and feels better when he wakes up and Tails is right there.

It does get to the point though where after a bit of recovery and time healing the mental scars Tails has to convince Sonic that he can be go back to running around and exploring without Tails right next to him. It takes a lot of convincing and scheduling regular check-ins (like 5x more than they previously had) but Sonic and Tails slowly get somewhat back to their normal lives.

If you wanna get angsty though have it so Sonic is just a second too slow in saving Tails and the fallout from that. (couldn't be me though I'm a hurt/comfort girly at heart, give me the angst but everyone's okayish in the end)

[shawoluvs]

I honestly just think fans expect way too much from idols. I’m not trying to sound insensitive but it is so tiring hearing people rant about how the media and gossip blogs don’t let idols rest or take a break and how sasaengs are creepy and out of order but the moment an idol needs to take a step back or doesn’t communicate with fans as expected people freak out and start speculating so much and working themselves (and other people, honestly) up with theories that are 50% a projection of their own feelings onto that idol and it’s just... idols really don’t owe us anything, they don’t owe us explanations for taking time away, they don’t need to fill us in on their lives or their mental state, they’re allowed privacy and unless they openly discuss a situation publicly or allow their company to do so, it’s really just not your business. Want the best for the idols you follow, even worry about them and their wellbeing if you want, but people have got to stop drawing up their own conclusions about things that may be private and they’re not actually owed any information about.

[kriffingstars]

eddie munson; knight

pairing : eddie munson x reader request : Okay so could you do an Eddie Munson x F!Reader where the reader is shy and kind of nerdy and so she gets bullied a lot by people and so one day, Eddie stands up for her and then they start talking and Eddie puts the charm on and makes the reader fall in love with him? Please? warnings : bullying, violence, injured reader a/n : sorry this took so long anon, i really wanted this to be absolutely perfect!

eddie isn't exactly some knight in shining armour

in any sort of fight or flight situation he's out of there

it just isn't in his nature to scrap with people (physically at least)

doesn't mean he can't though. have you seen those rings? he can do a lot of damage if he really wants to

he doesn't get involved in shit unless it's for a good cause

"someone's got to stand up for the freaks,"

the hellfire club is made up of misfits he's sort of collected brought together over the years

he just wants to make sure no one ever feels alone, or like he was made to feel when he was younger

he'd seen you around school a lot

generally, you kept out the way of others but you always had your nose stuck in a book

you didn't ever seem unhappy

quite the opposite actually, you seemed most content in your own company

he just assumed you didn't want to be distracted from your studies or anything like that

he didn't realise how wrong he was

not until you came into english with a fresh red bruise on your cheek

the teacher had questioned it but you just said you fell and didn't catch yourself because you were carrying too much stuff

that was the first obvious sign that something was wrong

the next time he sees you, he finds out exactly where that bruise came from and it's not from you falling over

they're from jason fucking carver

the asshole has pushed you over onto the floor, your books everywhere and you’re clutching your wrist in obvious pain

him and his laundry basket posse are laughing as they carry on walking

and then he's coming to your defence, and now jason is bleeding and the bruises on his face are going to be a lot worse than yours and eddie is so glad he remembered to put his rings on this morning

you don't hear what eddie says but by the time you collect your senses jason is long gone and eddie is crouched in front of you, gently checking over your wrist

i definitely think eddie’s pretty good at first aid

he’s clumsy asf so had to learn to patch himself up

he's also been bullied his whole life so he's just learnt to do it himself by this point

it’s a handy skill so have, and he’s definitely glad he knows what he’s doing as he’s gently wrapping your wrist in a support so you don’t hurt it even more

he’s flashing you a boyish smile, definitely not one that you’d expect from him

and he’s jabbering on about god knows what but it’s helping to put you at ease so eddie’s going to continue

he’s always thought you were attractive but holy shit you’re even better close up

like he always has but you’re eyes are just so much more gorgeous closer up

and your perfume is so intoxicating

from that point on, you join the collection of misfits

you still spend lunchtimes in the library

but you’ve started sitting with the hellfire club a couple of times a week

dustin takes one look at you and is like, yep, i like her

it takes a while to warm up to the others but between eddie and dustin they make sure you never feel out of place with them

being the two most academic ones in the group you often end up talking science

you let dustin have your old notes, which you didn’t have to do but you wanted to be helpful

he didn’t even ask but when you pop down a beautifully neat notebook full of all your freshman year science notes and explaining that there were some more advanced stuff that secured you that a* grade

normally someone like yourself would intimidate eddie

and even though you’re basically a genius, you’ve never once made him feel stupid

this is when eddie starts to notice that he might be falling in love

it starts off with him just thinking about how kind and thoughtful and pretty you are

and before he knows it he’s staring at the back of your head in class just enjoying the view

he starts trying to do small things to get you to realise that he’s interested in you

carrying your books to class

offering you lifts, so now he takes you to school even though it’s out of his way (he never tells you that)

shouting back at jason and the basketball team whenever they insult you

this boy has got it bad

pining to the max

he turns the charm up by 3000

if he makes you blush then he’s content

and before he realises he’s spending all the time thinking about you

he see’s a flower ‘wow y/n would like that’

hears a good song, ‘better write that down. i could put it in a mixtape’

speaking of mixtapes this is definitely how eddie tells you he likes you

inside the case is a note with every song on it and why he’s added it to your mixtape

there’s some doodles in there as well

and at the very end of the note it just says

i hope this tells you how i feel about you

he slips it in your bag at lunch when you’re engrossed in conversation with the boys, suggesting some strategies for their upcoming d&d session

it’s the most nerve wracking thing waiting for you to find it

what if you don’t feel the same

he’s sitting in the van at the end of your driveway waiting lost in his thoughts, going over all the reasons why you don’t like him back

he doesn’t even realise you’re there until you’re opening up the passenger door

eddie can’t quite compute what happens next

because you’re leaning over, grabbing a fist full of his hellfire shirt and kissing the living daylights out of him

which is so unlike you

you’re the shy, keep your feelings to yourself kind of person

and you just don’t do that

it’s a messy clash of teeth at first

but soon it turns into a sweet and loving kiss

eddie’s hands resting on your waist

yours cupping his face

from this point on eddie can't get enough of you

he's reminding you how much he likes you everyday through actions

his love language is definitely words of affirmation so hearing you tell him how amazing he is, and how unbelievably lucky you are to be with him is just the best thing in the world

at first he's nervous to be around you at school, he gets so much shit that he doesn't want to isolate you even more for dating him

it's also partially coming from a place of insecurity as well, deep down part of him thinks you're embarrassed to be seen dating him

this is definitely baggage from a previous relationship

it wasn't as serious but someone he was seeing had called him their dirty little secret and that had really stuck with him

so when you sit yourself down next to eddie in the cafeteria, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek like it was so normal he melts

eddie 'heart eyes' munson is back in full force

he's got the biggest, shit eating grin on his face as he entwines your fingers together

it's subtle, and not overtly in anyone's face, but it's not something people would miss either and that means the entire world to eddie

in that moment he definitely thinks 'they're the one'

[kaz11283]

Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[fighterkimburgess]

Stellaride with newborn (brand new parents) head canons?

The one thing they don't do when they have their daughter is name her Leslie. It's her middle name, but Kelly will never forget how much Shay disliked her first name, and he knows if she was there she'd slap him for inflicting it on his daughter.

They're used to the sleep deprivation from work. They're not used to being constantly sleep deprived for weeks

Kelly's back at work after three weeks, and he's moved to OFI so one of them has a 9-5 job. This moved caused arguments but he knows it's the right time.

More than once he's arrived home to Stella walking around the loft, bouncing Flora on her chest, begging her to just please sleep so Stella can get a few hours.

Flora's a daddy's girl and falls asleep when Kelly holds her.

They both have Big Worries about being parents. Neither of them had great role models, and Kelly's biggest fear is turning into Benny.

They don't realise the Bodens and Herrmanns have worked out a visiting schedule for like a six weeks, either Cindy or Donna coming over every few days, with Herrmann and Boden joining in when they can.

Stella's freaked out at not being immediately supermom, and Cindy tells her that it wasn't till Annabelle came along that she felt she could do it. That how she's feeling is totally fine.

Donna tells the story of Terrance being born in the Squad truck in the middle of traffic, and Severide nearly delivering him.

Kelly arrives home while this story's being told, hears the first few words Donna is saying and nearly leaves again.

Stella relies on her people to help her through her first few months of being a mother, of the nights she's terrified she's gonna screw up Flora. She gets advice and knowledge from them all.

The first night she's working at Molly's after Flora is born she really doesn't want to leave. But her maternity leave from CFD is up in a few weeks, so she needs to get used to leaving Flora for a full day. What's four hours?

Kelly facetimes her twice while she's gone.

There's some nights - when Flora has colic and is up all night crying that the two of them wonder why they thought they could raise a child, why they thought they could do any of this. They have Flora in their arms, and are nearly crying from tiredness and stress and they love this little girl so much but they don't know what they can do.

And then the night ends, and they get a tiny bit of sleep, and they look at this little girl with her mother's hair and her father's nose, and they realise that even though it's so painful and just so hard, they wouldn't trade it for the world.

They might trade it for a solid eight hours sleep. But that's only a might. Maybe.

[devinescribe]

Stay High

Karube Daikichi × Reader

Based off this song

No, because It's a three am sad thought that should have been kept in my head. This is totally not based off of my deepest darkest feeling and fears. Anyways, ignore that. Um... yeah.

Warnings: Episode 3 spoilers, Manga spoilers, weed, smoking, suicide (this went darker than I intended, ok?), and another terrible attempt at angst :)

"Karu! For the last time, we're not getting a freaking parrot!" You scolded. "Aww, why not babe? They're cute," he said, pouting. You smiled kissing him quickly. "... I'll think about it," you said, before heading out. "I think that means we will have a-" "Don't push your luck babe. I'll see you after work."

_______________________________________

"And here is my attempt at trying to be nice. Happy anniversary!" You chirped, sliding a rather large gift his way. It had a draped cover over it, so he couldn't see inside. He looked at you suspiciously, slowly taking it in his hands. You had a camera in your hands, and we're smirking. He didn't trust that smirk. "Why do you have that camera?" He asked, nodding to it. "Just filming. It's a special day babe," you said, hiding your smile. "Can i-" "Don't you dare shake it-" He raised his hands in mock surrender, before slowly lifting the sheet.

You saw the smile that spread across his face. "I said I'd think about it," you said. He stood up, pulling your waist into him. He kissed you softly, making you smile in your head. "I'm guessing this means you like your gift?" You asked, a smirk on your face. "It's a fucking parrot, hell yeah I like it," he said. You laughed, pressing a kiss to his temple.

Tears blurred your vision, falling onto the screen of the camera. Had it really been a year since then?

"Ok, now I get to film you! Welcome to day 1 of our roadtrip, I don't know where we're going, but we'll find out soon enough," Karube said, turning the camera to face him. He then turned it to face you. You were putting your luggage into the trunk of your car, and looked up with a smile, giving the camera a peace sign. The parrot, who you two decided to name Nijiko after much deliberation due to its coloring, squawked on your shoulder. You smiled. "Yes, you'll be going to day care  for a while Nijiko," you spoke to the bird, petting it's beak softly. The bird shivered. "Day care? Nijiko day care?" It squawked, tilting it's head to the side. You nodded. "Yes, smart bird. Nijiko is going to daycare," you praised. "I sometimes wonder if she loves the bird more than me. The answer is yes. Yes she does," Karube said, laughing as you spoke to the bird.

"Update, it's been 4 hours, and we are in the middle of no where. The child(the bird) has been dropped off at day care... well boarding? For the week. The music's pretty good though, and this angel next to me is still here, so we're all good," he said. He was really serious about filming this. "Babe, why are you filming this again?" You asked, reaching to grab his hand on the center console. "Because memories baby girl," he responded, kissing the back of your hand as it was intertwined with his. You laughed, blowing him a kiss, turning your attention back to the road.

"Day 3 of our roadtrip, (Y/N) is deciding on what to wear, but as I've told her, she looks great in everything," he stated. You flipped him off, picking out something to wear finally. "Wowwwww, I can really feel the love," he said sarcastically, holding a hand to his chest dramatically. "Shut up, you know I love you," you said, rolling your eyes. "I know you do. Who wouldn't love me?" he joked. "I don't know babe. Watch it though, 'cause you're mine~!"

"Ok, it's a few hours later, (Y/N) is getting snacks, and I'm super nervous, because of this," he said, talking to camera. He pulled out a small box, showing the ring to the camera. "I've been documenting this whole thing like a maniac, because I didn't want her to be suspicious. But anyways, yeah... I've been thinking about it for a while, seeing as we've been together since high school. I am terrified, in all honesty," he rambled, running a hand through his hair. He put the small box back to where you wouldn't find it, but he wouldn't lose it. He saw you walking back to the car, and smiled. You opened the door, giving him a weird look. "You're filming again?" You questioned. He nodded. "You love the sound of your voice don't you?" You asked with a smile. He laughed, "Not as much as I love yours."

_______________________________________

He placed the camera was on a nearby fence post, facing you two, close enough to see and hear both of you. He started recording, and gave a thumbs up to the camera. You looked out to the water, admiring the hues of blue. The water crashed into the shore, spraying you with water. "You know when we get married, I'm definitely going to take you here again," he said. You kept looking out at the water, not noticing him. "When we get married? You already have this planed?" You laughed. You turned to face him, not seeing him at eye level. You looked down, and your eyes widened. "As I was saying, when we get married-" he started, getting interrupted when you jumped onto him, throwing your arms around his neck. You both fell to the sand, and you two couldn't help but laugh. "Are you serious? Like, really?" You asked, tears in your eyes. "Yeah, I'm serious. (Y/N), you've been with me for what seems like forever. I love you so much, and I want to be yours forever. Just as much as you'll be mine. So... would you do me the honor, and marry me?" He asked. He might have sounded confident, but he was shaking on the inside. The tears in your eyes fell, and you laughed nodding. "Yes, a million times yes," you said. He laughed, letting out a sigh of relief. You hugged him tightly, your head in the crook of his neck. "Forever and ever?" You whispered. "Forever and ever."

You looked down at the ring on your finger, crying even harder. His side of the bed stayed empty, no one would ever be able to sleep there. Not even you. His side of the room stayed untouched. The same way it had been left that morning. Before the accident.

"(Y/N)... I know you're sad, but this isn't healthy for you... just... call me back once you get this," Arisu sighed. "No answer again?" Usagi asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head. "She's been with our group as long as I can remember. And she's been... she had been... with Karube even longer. If it's hard on me, I can't believe how hard it must be on her," Arisu explained. Usagi pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'm sure she's fine. All people cope with things differently. Just give her space."

You were most definitely not fine. The grief that filled you everytime you saw Arisu's name on your phone, when you looked at anything that once belonged to Karube.  For the first time in the past few weeks, you wandered into the kitchen, and saw the binder filled with the ideas you two had for the wedding. You looked away, tears filling your eyes once more. You couldn't escape the sorrow that had filled your life. It seemed like he was everywhere. Even when you turned on the damn TV the news was talking about the incident. The names of the victims would pop up with pictures, and you would quickly turn it off. You grabbed the folder, ripping up all the papers in there, shredding them to bits in a fit of sadness. You dropped to your knees, holding the final piece of paper. You sniffled, wiping your eyes, looking down. It was in Karube's hand writing, and you took a deep breath. Eventually, you would have to read these things. Eventually, you would have to clean up his side of the room. You decided to start off small. By reading whatever this was.

'I may not be good at expressing my feelings, and this is not going to be the first time you've all heard me tell you how wonderful this woman is, and how much I love her. It certainly won't be the last, if I have any say in it. To which I do. If I could go back to the day we met, and you told me I would be marrying her, I would believe it. Because I've loved you from day one (Y/N). And now, I'll have you. Forever and ever.'

- Karube (rough draft, don't let (Y/N) find this)

You whimpered, holding the piece of paper to your chest. This was too much for you. You needed a distraction.

"Eh, just give me the money, no one will ever know," the woman said. You gave her the money, and she passed you a bag. "I promise it gets better dear. And be careful with that," she said sweetly. You nodded, your face so devoid of any emotion, it was hard to tell if you were still alive. Your world felt so numb to any emotion but hurt.

The burn of the smoke in your throat was satisfying. For the first time since his death, you felt something. Your eyes lazily looked up, staring at the ceiling.  The smell of the weed filled up the room and you rolled your eyes. For once the pain was gone. You couldn't think of anything in the moment other than being hungry. The first time in weeks that had happened.

That was your new routine. Wake up, lounge around, look through the videos and pictures of both of you, get high of your mind. It was the only way you'd forget. Was it healthy? No. Did you care? Also no. You started ignoring Arisu's calls, messages, and voice mails. Leaving them unseen, and unheard. He was worried, and Usagi had gotten worried as well, even though she'd only met you once at the hospital. You seemed like a pleasant person, and according to Arisu, you never left someone in the dark that long. You would usually respond quickly if you weren't at work. But, do to the incident, there wasn't work for a few weeks. That made him worry.

When he found out why you weren't answering, he was shocked. Your apartment wasn't exactly a mess. There were a few papers scattered in the kitchen, and uncollected mail, but other than that, your apartment was clean. He was so confused, hearing you giggling and talking to yourself in your room.

He knocked on the door, opening it slowly. "(Y-y/N)?" He asked hesitantly. You looked up, your eyes lazy and red. The smell of weed in your room was strong, the smoke going out of the window. How long had you been doing this? Had it become self destructive? These were questions he asked himself before seeing you doze off to sleep.

"What the hell were you thinking (Y/N)! You can't- you can't destroy your life over it! I- I was so worried! I've already lost two friends, I can't lose you too!" He scolded. It was a few hours later, and your high had passed. "Why do you care?" You snapped, the conversation being boring to you. The hurt you hadn't felt in weeks came back. He was back in your mind, not as your wonderful fiancé, but as the man you had lost. The man who you had to bury in the ground. It was horrible. Your mind hated the images of his body, lifeless and devoid of his usual smile. You hated it. Absolutely despised it.

"Because you're my friend! You've been my friend since high school! I know it hurts (Y/N), believe me I know, but you can't destroy your fucking life and mental health!" He scolded. It was so unfair to you, in your head. That he was saying something like that. "You want to know what's really destroying my mental health?! Not having him anymore! The fact that he's dead, and I can't- I can't-" you couldn't finish your sentence. Arisu felt bad, but this was an intervention. He had to be a bit forceful for you to stop. "Karube wouldn't want you to do this," he said softly. You felt more tears fall. But you didn't know how to deal with this. "How do you know what he wants?! He's dead!" You screamed. "H-hes dead," you whispered, your voice breaking. Arisu hugged you tightly as you cried. "Can I just know why?" He asked. "He's gone, and I have to stay high all the time to keep him off my mind. Gotta stay high... all my life to forget I'm missing him," you whispered. It was true. It was the only way you could feel something other than pain. The smoke made your mind hazy, and your sadness drifted away. But it wasn't healthy. And it would never be. "It gets better (Y/N)... please, just... stay with me for a week. So I can have peace of mind?"

2 years later

You sat on the sand of the beach, the waves crashed onto the rocks nearby, and a breeze blew the salt water into your face. You looked down at the ring on your finger, sighing at the sight of the shiny gem. You smiled sadly, pressing a kiss to it. "Soon my darling... soon we'll be together again. Forever and ever."

Because the high kept him off your mind, you didn't learn how to cope any other way. The only way was to feel any other pain. You had tried to meet other people, but no one was ever as good. You couldn't even talk to other guys without feeling guilt. It felt wrong. It was like whatever you did, you couldn't get over it. At all. In fact, it had gotten worse over the years. Especially on the yearly anniversary of the incident. Reporters would go to your home and ask you questions, seeing as people had asked you while you were in the hospital. How we're you supposed to get over it when you were reminded constantly?

So there was no thoughts in your head as you walked into the water. It was cold, shocking you. If you didn't drown, you'd die of hypothermia. And that was fine with you.

Forever and ever, no?

Ok, ok, ok.... wow, wowowowowow, this was a three am sad thought that did not have to be written, ok, um wow... that was darker than I intended, holy shit-

I promise I'm done with the terrible attempts at angst, and I promise I'm working on the my other oneshots/books. It's just that when I have an idea, I need to write it before I forget.

Remember that people love you, even if you think no one does, I promise you they do. If you really need help, please find it, and if you would like, I'm always glad to talk to people if they need my help.

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #13 (part one)

Victor

You guys! Guess where Yuri and I are right now?

It’s our new house! And it’s in Kiyomatsu.

For those of you who don't know, the part of town where Yuri and I currently live is called Wakabamori, and it kind of reminds me of Foundry Cove, the subdivision where I grew up in Willow Creek. It's not a bad neighbourhood. Like, there isn't a high crime rate or anything, and it's not a sketchy trailer park kind of area, but it's also far from being the most ritzy location in town.

Where we're going to live is considerably more upscale. Kiyomatsu is basically where they have all the fancy rentals for vacationers with money, and where a lot of rich people from here live year-round. Yuri's parents, for example, live in Kiyomatsu. I'm not sure how I'm going to feel about living in a posh neighbourhood like that, but I think I can probably overcome my discomfort, thanks to the best feature Kiyomatsu offers. It's farther up the mountain than Wakabamori. In fact, it's partially above the snow line.

Let me say that again. Our new home is above the snow line.

I'm seriously freaking out about that, but in a good way. When Yuri showed me a picture yesterday, and I could see ski lifts in the background, I might've cried a little. Ski lifts. Visible from our new back yard.

Seriously, just look at it.

I'm so stoked, I'm losing my mind here.

But, I guess I should try to calm down and tell you how Yuri and I ended up with a gorgeous new home in Kiyomatsu. I'm also losing it a little over that, because I mean... drama. Also, Yuri's mom may have gone up a few places on my official respect-o-meter. I might actually make an effort to like her more after this.

Yesterday, out of the blue, Yuri's mom phoned him and invited him to lunch. Now, for most people, this wouldn't be unusual. Like, me and my mom used to have lunch together all the time when we still lived in the same town, and now that she's here with us for a while, we always eat together. But, Yuri's mother isn't the sort of person who'd make your favourite bacon and tomato sandwiches for you and then spread out a big blanket on the living room floor for an indoor picnic. I doubt if Rei Okamoto has ever done anything fun or spontaneous like that in her entire life.

Not going to lie; I was very suspicious about Mrs. Okamoto's invitation, especially when Yuri told me that his mom specifically said I couldn't come along. Not that I wanted to sit through lunch with Rei Okamoto silently judging me and not-so-silently correcting my table manners, but usually when Yuri's parents command his presence, mine is also required. They hate me, but they're so bound by their traditional values that they can't seem to have a family gathering without the whole extended 'family', which unfortunately now includes me.

My mom got really offended on my behalf when I explained that to her. She thinks Yuri's parents are horrible people, even though she's never met them. Honestly, I hope she never does. Mom and Mrs. Okamoto in the same room would be bad. Like, super extra bad. I'm pretty sure Mom would cause a huge scene, and I would so not want to be around to witness that.

But, in fairness to Mrs. Okamoto, as much as I'd rather not be around her and her critical gaze, I also can't bring myself to think of her as truly terrible. Regardless of how she feels about me, I'm sure she really cares about Yuri, and in my view, that redeems her at least a little bit.

She may not be the greatest at demonstrating affection, and she may not be okay with all of Yuri's life choices, but she's still his mom at the end of the day. She knows how to take care of him, and the times he's really needed her, she's been there.

Like, when Yuri was in the hospital for over a week last winter, she came every day and stayed with him for a few hours so I could get some rest. While he was recovering back at home, she came by to bring us food. Well, she brought me food, and some weird-looking smoothies she'd made for Yuri. She even stayed with him for a whole day so I could still participate in a snowboarding competition I'd signed up for several weeks before he'd even gotten really sick. Of course, the way Mrs. Okamoto put it, she wanted me to get out of the house because I was disrupting the flow of calming energy. She said she wanted to make sure Yuri was looked after properly for a change.

Yuri told me later that he was certain she really didn't mean it, but I hadn't minded too much anyway. I had been feeling pretty restless, so she probably wasn't wrong, and by that point, I'd already figured out what she's like. It was all good in the end because I'd known that, with his mom, Yuri was in the best hands possible other than my own.

I don't think Mr. Okamoto knew that Mrs. Okamoto came to our house, because I'd overheard her telling Yuri not to mention anything to his father. As if Yuri would ever talk to his father voluntarily. Honestly, I think if it weren't for Yuri's dad, maybe his mom could show her real feelings for him a lot more, and I think he'd like that. After all, everyone should have a caring mom in their life, right? I don't know what I'd do without mine.

So, yesterday, when Mrs. Okamoto invited Yuri to lunch, the reason I was worried wasn't because I thought he wouldn't be okay with her. It was because I had no idea what her motivation was.

As it turned out, though, it’s likely that I was worried for nothing.

When Yuri got back from his lunch date with his mother, I was home alone. Mom said she'd wanted to go exploring, and she'd taken my bike for a self-guided tour of our corner of town.

I was in the kitchen, in the process of making avocado onigiri — something Yuri almost never refuses to eat — when I heard the door open. I turned from the counter just in time to see him rushing in. He practically flung himself at me, and it was lucky that I can move fast and that I was ready to catch him, because he literally fell against my chest. He was out of breath, and I wondered if he'd been running, and how far.

"Victor!" he exclaimed. "You'll never guess what happened!"

"I'm wondering if I should be scared to ask," I said.

"No, you definitely should ask. It's... I can't even believe it!"

"Catch your breath first, and then tell me."

"Okay," he said.

He rested his head on my shoulder, and I rubbed his back slowly until his breathing evened out. I said, "What were you doing?"

"Running," he confessed.

"I figured, but since when do you run anywhere if you don’t have to?"

"Since I was so excited that I couldn't wait to tell you what happened at lunch with Mama."

He pulled away from me a little, and I let go of him so we could step back and look at each other. He was grinning, and I don't think I've ever seen him looking so pleased in the entire time we've known each other.

"And?" I said.

"We have a place to live. And it's in Kiyomatsu."

I stared. "What?"

"Isn’t this great news?"

"Yes, but I mean... What...? How...?"

"My uncle," Yuri said. "You remember my uncle, Kazuya Fujimoto?"

"Uncle Kaz from America? Your mom's brother?"

I'd met Uncle Kaz once, when he was here in town visiting his family and friends last year during Harvestfest. Yuri's birthday happens to be on the first day of autumn, and Uncle Kaz decided that he wanted to invite his 'favourite nephew' to an outdoor concert and dinner afterward, to celebrate. For the record, Yuri is his only nephew. Also, I got invited as well, and it was a lot of fun.

Uncle Kaz seemed kind of eccentric, but I really liked him. He lives in America, in the Del Sol Valley, and he's been there for about twenty years. He works in the film industry as a director, and he's apparently kind of famous, although I had to admit I'd never heard of him before we met.

For some reason, Uncle Kaz thought it was funny that I'm from Canada, and he kept asking me random questions about the wilderness and hockey and maple syrup. That's what I remember about him most.

"There could only be one Uncle Kaz," Yuri said.

I laughed. "Very true. So, what about him?"

“It’s his house,” Yuri told me. “His vacation house, although he obviously doesn’t use it much.”

“Right, but how exactly are we living in Uncle Kaz’s vacation house? How would he even know we needed a new place to live?”

“This is the best part,” Yuri said, and the only word I could think of to describe his expression was gleeful. “Mama told him. It seems she overheard part of my conversation with Papa about Mrs. Ito asking us to move out.”

“Oh.”

“Evidently, Papa’s been complaining for days about the whole situation. He really wants me to come back and live with them for some reason, but I won’t do that. Mama says he somehow blames you for us getting evicted, even though he knows that’s not true. It’s got nothing to do with you, and—“

“Yuri, it’s okay,” I said. “Of course your dad blames me. He’s looking for more reasons to dislike me, when there really aren’t any. Don’t worry about it. Keep telling me the story.”

“Okay. It seems Mama got frustrated with him, and she was really worried about us, so she called Uncle Kaz to ask about letting us live in his house.”

“And I take it he said yes.”

“He did. Mama said we’re not supposed to tell anyone that she arranged it, though, especially not Papa.”

“No worries there. I’m fine with never talking to your dad again, if I can help it.”

“He’d be furious if he knew,” Yuri said.

“He’s going to figure out we’re living there.”

“Yes, but it’s all right for him to assume that I was the one who asked Uncle Kaz about it. He doesn’t need to know Mama had anything to do with it. He wouldn’t like it if he realized she did all this herself without even consulting him, so we can’t say anything, all right?”

“Sure,” I agreed. “So, is there a catch to this arrangement?”

Yuri frowned, looking confused. “A catch?”

“Yeah. Like, do we just get to live there worry-free, like normal people with normal lives, or are there some sort of unreasonable conditions attached?”

“We have to pay rent,” he said. “And Uncle Kaz will stay there with us whenever he visits, but I think that’s fair, don’t you?”

“That’s it?”

“Were you expecting something else?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I guess it’s just kind of hard for me to trust your family. Some people don’t believe in letting others have something for nothing.”

“We’re not getting it for nothing. Uncle Kaz is expecting us to pay him the same amount of rent we’ve been paying Mrs. Ito for this place, and of course we have to take care of it for him.”

“But, no ulterior motives. That’s what I meant.”

“None that I can see.”

I was mostly relieved, but still slightly wary. "Do you know when we can move in?"

"Whenever we're ready," Yuri said. "As soon as we're finished packing up all our stuff here. Mama said we can meet the caretaker tomorrow to pick up the keys and have a look around, if we want. She gave me his number, but she said she already arranged for him to meet us there at two o'clock."

"Tomorrow at two. Got it."

“I’m probably not going to be able to sleep tonight,” Yuri said.

“That excited, huh?”

“Yes! Aren’t you?”

I lifted him up and spun him around, and he laughed. It was the most carefree sound I’d ever heard, and it made me so happy that I felt like crying. Yuri never laughs like that, not in the unrestrained way he did in that moment. It was the voice of someone who’d suddenly been unburdened of a crushing amount of stress and fear.

“Seeing how excited you are makes me excited,” I told him. “I’m sure I’ll be interested in the house itself, once I’m totally over how we ended up with it.”

“Oh, I don’t think it’ll take you that long,” he said. “Put me down, and let me show you the photos.”

Yuri was right, of course. The pictures had been the lure for me. He’d passed me his phone, and the two of us curled up on the sofa to look at the images his mother had texted him. While I tried to absorb every detail, Yuri snuggled next to me and began to tell me a story about two boys who found their happy place in a magical mountainside forest where there’s snow all year.

By the time he was done with his specially-made fairytale and I’d scrolled through all the pictures at least a dozen times, I’d resolved to try not to worry about Yuri’s family and their possible motives. Yuri wasn’t worried, after all, and he knows his family a lot better than I do.

I told myself this was going to be good for us. We were going to enjoy our new house and fill it with everything, both tangible and intangible, that would make it ours. We would create a home, and it’d be amazing, and nothing anyone else said or did would change that for us.

I coaxed myself into letting go of my remaining anxiety, saying to myself that it was okay to believe everything would be fine. It was a lot easier to think anticipating, hopeful thoughts about the future after that.

We told Mom our news as soon as she got back from her bike ride, and she seemed pretty thrilled about it too. After dinner, Mom got us organized, and we started packing in earnest. Yuri and I decided that we were determined to be in our new house and return Mrs. Ito’s keys for this place to her in a week. If Mom thought that was an unrealistic timeline, she didn’t say anything about it. She threw herself into the task with almost as much enthusiasm as us.

By the time bedtime came around, I found that I couldn’t go to sleep. Yuri, who’d already predicted that he’d be too keyed up, was lying beside me with an open book, but he hadn’t turned a page in several minutes. I guessed he was daydreaming.

Under the covers, I tapped his ankle with my toes. “Hey, cute boy,” I said. “Want to get up and pack some more stuff?”

He rolled over and grabbed me, burying his face in my t-shirt to muffle his laughter, obviously aware that my mom was probably already asleep in the next room.

“That’s the best offer I’ve had all night,” he said.

We filled boxes until, finally, we were too tired to focus, and then we fell asleep in each other’s arms, on the living room floor.

And that’s the tale of how, today at two o'clock in the afternoon, I found myself standing on a small, snowy plateau halfway up the side of my beloved mountain, Yukimatsu, gazing around at one of the most elegant properties I've ever seen. The house isn't super huge and fancy, which is a fact that I'm glad about. It's certainly bigger than our current house, and a lot nicer looking, but it has gorgeous, clean lines and a kind of classic, unpretentious sense about it.

Yuri went inside ahead of me. I wanted to admire the scenery for a few minutes, and marvel at the strange, incredible turn of events that'd brought us here. And I thought about how it’d been Yuri’s mom who made it all happen, and how we had to keep her wonderful gesture of kindness a secret.

I considered Yuri’s parents, and the uncomfortable dynamics that must exist in their household, wondering how Mrs. Okamoto could be in a relationship with someone she couldn’t communicate with. Maybe that’s another reason why they don’t like me. Maybe it’s envy that their son has something they don’t. Yuri and I talk to each other about everything. That’s our strength. We’d never have been able to learn to trust each other as much as we do without that.

I’m not sure how long I was out there, just staring up the mountain and feeling grateful. It must’ve been long enough for Yuri to see the whole interior, though, because he popped through the front door again, calling to me, “I know which room is going to be mine!”

I smiled, absolutely loving how joyful and energetic and well he looked. Maybe this place would be good for us in more ways than I’d expected.

“I guess that leaves the other one for me.”

"Victor, come inside and look!" he said, breathless with pleasure. "You can see your room and everything else, and you won’t be disappointed, I promise. Everything's so beautiful. You're going to love it."

"I can already tell you love it," I teased. "Usually, you're the one telling me to calm down."

"I can't help it," he said. "This is essentially my dream home. It’s so quiet and peaceful here, and we’re far enough from our neighbours that it feels private, but not so far that we’re isolated.”

“Plus, we’re close to the trails,” I said.

“Yes, that too.” He smiled. “This is exactly the sort of thing I always imagined when I thought about moving out of my parents house and living on my own, but it always felt so out of reach. Maybe, if I'd agreed to work for my father's company, I could've done it some day, but..."

"No," I said. "You never would've been happy doing that. If you'd worked for him so you could have your dream home some day, would you have really loved it?"

"No," he said. "I think I might resent it."

"The good news is, you don't even have to think about that now."

"You're right. I don't." He took my face between his hands and kissed me playfully on the tip of my nose. "Because here I am, by some amazing stroke of luck, in a home I already adore, with the person I love most in the world. This is going to be so perfect. I can hardly wait for us to move in."

“Soon. You’ve got to try to be a little patient, at least.”

“I know, but I wish it was moving-in day right now, right this minute.”

"I have an idea," I said.

"What is it?"

"We have the keys now, and your uncle said we could move in any time, right?"

"Yes."

"How would you feel about spending the night here tonight, just to see what it’s like? We could go to the old place and grab a few things, and then come straight back here. What do you think?"

That time, when he kissed me, it was on the mouth. It was an uncommon enough occurrence to have caught me a little by surprise, but I definitely wasn’t complaining. He smelled like peppermint.

“I love you," he said, lips still brushing gently against my skin. "And that idea is brilliant. Let's do it."

[rpbetter]

Urgh. Okay, full disclosure, I haven't been on tumblr much over the last week or so, because I was one of the people that Raven initially called out after the COAR mess, and it was in the interest of my own mental health to fuck off for a while so I didn't stress myself out into oblivion. So I'm scrolling through most of this stuff for the first time, and talking to other people who were targeted. And pardon my French here, but I'm fucking disgusted at the lengths Raven has gone to assert themselves as a victim, how many people they've affected, and the waving around of something as serious as suicide for brownie points.

I have sympathy for people who overinterpret things in a strictly emotional and mental sense (actual reactions aside) because they lack the maturity. There's always a reason for that, and it's not their fault. And I have sympathy for people if they legitimately feel suicidal. That, too, isn't their fault. If I hadn't been blocked, I would've reported Raven in case their claims were true as well, because yeah, I don't mess around with that stuff either. But what's unacceptable is how Raven acted on those sentiments and behaved towards others, even after people tried to provide perspective. How Raven claimed to be done with the drama, but continued inciting it; how they claimed to be suicidal and had left tumblr, but wrote what amounts to a "fuck you" in their header and were still putzing around on their blog, and were apparently still editing their posts until as late as today; how they claimed to have deleted but only changed the url; how they weaponized all of this stuff and used it as a tool for guilt-tripping. Like, come on. It's okay if you're down in the dumps, but it's not okay to treat innocent people like garbage, and carpet bomb half the RPC. To me, it really feels like there was an intent to weaponize all of their hurt, offense, anger, and suicidal ideations, despite the possibility it did come from somewhere genuine, and that's so harmful to anyone who is actually struggling with depression.

Every time someone weaponizes mental illness in this way, it just makes people more and more apathetic the next time someone is genuinely just hurting, and saying they feel like they're at the end of their rope. And it makes people suspicious of whether those words are being used maliciously, or legitimately. That suspicion and that association is now there, unconscious or not. And every time this kind of stuff happens, the association gets stronger. What happens if Raven does this again? Some people will still report, but some people might just scoff and walk away - people who might've actually acted before. So in a way, that kind of behaviour impacts Raven as much as it impacts other people.

And you know what? They're not the only one dealing with serious shit. I've been suffering from MDD for the last fifteen years, and I've been in the process of changing medications and having little success for months. I've been going through hell offline. I have a shit list of people I want to yell at because they're dragging their feet on really important things I need to function; I'm constantly running a deficit on spoons. Until a week or so ago, roleplay was one of the only ways I could unwind. So for Raven to bully me by sticking that stupid post in my tags, because they needed to make a scene on COAR, which I was obviously going to comment on (like many other people), then to "like" an unsubstantiated callout about me and other innocent people related to that mess, it's only worsened my own mental health. It sounds melodramatic, but really. Someone else mentioned this too, but the fear of being in another callout, and the fear of that first callout somehow exploding, was in the back of my mind all week, despite being away from tumblr. So that was a little anxiety-inducing, much as I tried not to think about it.

And I'm debating whether to return now, or take more time off, and I have no idea what to do. Because that callout post is still in my blog's tag. I'm freaking out because I was planning on approaching some people to roleplay, which is something I rarely ever do, but now I'm concerned that I'll contact someone, they'll look at my tag to get an idea of my writing/partners/who I am, and see the callout post, and immediately dismiss me because even seeing the word "callout" on its own will send up red flags, by unconscious association with more impactful drama. And as long as that callout is up, these fears are going to be there.

That's just not fair.

And Raven's "apology" is completely unacceptable. Like you and others said, it doesn't reach anyone who needs to hear it, because they've all been blocked. I would fucking love an apology if it came from a place of honesty, but am I going to receive one? Probably not. And even for the followers who can still see that apology, it doesn't address anything. It isn't directed to anyone in particular. It doesn't mention the specific behaviours that were wrong on their part. And miss me with the "my intentions were good" part. No, they weren't; going around blocks and sticking shit in peoples' tags is vindictive and entirely intentional in all the worst ways, and shame on them for pretending otherwise, and by leading with such a poor example for many roleplayers, some of whom are in their teens. One of the people who tried to message Raven (they, too, were called out on Raven's blog) was speaking to a nineteen-year old who was completely clueless about the extent of the manipulation Raven was pulling. They thought all of it was normal and acceptable behaviour. That genuinely terrifies me. And while I imagine if Raven was genuinely apologetic, they would've gone to the callout blog and ask them to delete the callout post (attempt it, at the very least), somehow, I don't think that would've happened given all of their prior actions. God forbid something else is going on there.

Phew. Yeah, I'm angry. Maybe I'm just biased and tired. But honestly, I have a right to be. Raven's apology is a handwave, and they know it. It's a slap in the face to me, to you, and to everyone else who was involved in this clusterfuck. They're not the center of the universe. They affected real people, with real problems of their own. Anyways, I am so sorry for this, argh. Really had to get this out, and I didn't want to dump it on discord or somewhere else; I sure as heck didn't want to go to COAR with it. But hey, maybe people here will feel less alone if I added my own account to the mix. The more, the merrier? In a sense, anyways. Sometimes if you feel like you've been singled out, it's nice to know you're not actually the only person it's happened to.

Sorry for saving your reply for last, Anon. It's such an important one, I wanted to be properly thoughtful!

I think that it is going to make some people feel less alone, and there is always some relief in sharing one's trials. That might be especially true when one has been unable to share them anywhere else. It's not like you can address this on your own blog right now, COAR is definitely not a safe place to do so, it's a very isolating feeling that is made worse for having done nothing.

Coming back and being required to wade through this shit was really damn disgusting to me as well, but at least in my case, I had neither been obliged to distance myself for the sake of mental health nor was I treated to the sickening display of drumming up ideas of victimization from someone who victimized me. What I experienced was just incredulity and disgust, I cannot imagine how incensing this must be for you, I am so very sorry. If it makes me angry having a degree of removal and watching in it real time? What you're experiencing...there really isn't a single word to adequately encapsulate that, I'm sure.

You've still expressed so many of the things I've thought and felt. I found all that initial behavior uncalled for, shameful, yet another display of what's actually wrong in the RPC, but it was increasingly upsetting to me the more I looked into it because it did feel a little (a lot) too reminiscent of the sort of bullying experienced in person. It's really something else to be viciously picked at by someone who keeps upping the game until such point as it begins to cause them trouble, then get to be painted the wrongdoer and punished in some way for it because they're presenting as a sympathetic victim. A more sympathetic victim than you, that's really what I mean, I'm just going to say it.

And that was already in swing by the time I got from the launch point to the smoking crater of then current events. I got to Raven's again after bouncing back and forth between their interactions with others, largely from COAR, yes, and the shit on the callout blog...to see...everyone else being blamed in increasingly drastic ways.

Because on tumblr, unlike reality, if you throw out enough times ahead of time that you have disorders people can get behind, you're more sympathetic, not less. So long as one has set that foundation and has others to broadcast it once convenient, any horrible action one undertakes is given a pass. Anyone disagreeing, anyone not tolerating the abuse, is in the wrong now. In the worst possible way, of course.

This whole thing began with incredibly unnecessary bullshit and every, I mean fucking every, further action taken was a new level of fucked up, but the trivializing of and damage done to the perception of mental health and differences is quite possibly the worst. Are those things that need any more of that? It's already such a problem! I already see suspicion and fatigue with this, every time it's given validation, it grows.

Even if I wasn't mentally ill, with one of the disorders that gets vilified even on tumblr, even if I were not autistic, even if I never knew a single person who suffered worse than I do from the the complications they won by way of being born, hadn't anyone I loved that took their lives, this would be extremely upsetting to me. Using the idea that "whatever I do, it's got to be acceptable because I am X" while not caring that anyone else is X, Y, and/or Z. Weaponizing it for bullying and sympathy simultaneously. Way too much. Incredibly gross and harmful, legitimately fucking problematic.

I want people to be taken seriously when they choose to speak of the boundaries their mental health requires, I want muns to be able to say that they are having a difficult time without it coming off (even to the rest of us with mental health conditions) as a ploy for attention/guilting for whatever action they desire be taken by partners, and I want people to take threats of oncoming, serious harm seriously. How are they to do this, when it is continually used as tool or weaponized against others? At very best, it becomes another thing to ignore and scroll by on the dash.

As we've all had the misfortune to experience or witness so recently, once it is weaponized, it's a problem of priority. I've said in damn near every message I've gotten that Raven isn't the only person involved here who has serious shit going on, but like the absurdity with trying to spin an accident as transphobia, or having the audacity to attempt speaking from a place of peace in a way that might benefit everyone, Raven included, resulting in a callout about being against ND people...it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter that any of us are neurodivergent, have serious chronic mental health complications, or are not cisgender. Raven was swinging that around like a flaming sword to drive off bigots real and imagined before we ever got their attention.

Attention they fucking asked for.

Reblogging that post from COAR was just like posting those rules. The intention was to get attention, and it was asked for with extreme hostility. I have no idea how that is coming off to anyone as simply them defending themselves. It was a great moment to either not out themselves as the person in the confession at all, not engage with it, quietly remove the post, or to reblog it and take responsibility in a meaningful way at that point. Can you imagine what a difference that would have made then? If Raven had chosen instead to reblog it and apologize for doing what they had. Just that. No shitty, snide little comments about how they're sorry, but still absolutely correct and here are five reasons why everything they've misconstrued won't be tolerated. Just an acknowledgment of wrongdoing, an apology for doing so, and awareness gained moving forward.

Their decision to interact with that post in the way they did wasn't just more of the same nonsense, it was actively upping the game. I don't really care if it was intentional bait or just continuing to let malicious impulse run free, it was used as bait. Everyone who interacted with that post was effectively consigning themselves to harassment, and if they happened to interact on literally any other topic that group held a passionately opposing opinion on, they were attacked for it. Curiously, it became necessary for them to be harassed by way of the callout blog, but that is getting a little close to off-topic, so, I'll leave it at that.

So, while I initially really wanted to have the appeal to Raven work because their expressions of regret that I was greatly on the fence about being genuine, I'd say those flags were accurate. I cannot believe that someone who took every opportunity to do the wrong thing is genuinely sorry. Sorry for themselves, absolutely, sorry for anything they did, not so much. This constant narrative I got of "they SAID they were sorry" and "they apologized again and again and took the posts down," including from Raven, is incredible. On that last one, they, yet again, couldn't actually address me.

Appropriate response: messaging me or reblogging that post (you know, the rules snippet I found right the hell there still, despite the claim of it being deleted and the final catalyst of me needing to say something after I saw that, nope, surely was not) with the acknowledgment of a single thing I said.

Extra appropriate response: ^ plus going to everyone who could still be located that they harmed with a genuine, individual, private apology.

Inappropriate response that was had: new post, shitty, childish tone like they at once wanted to argue with me and didn't want to drop the act, restating of this apology that had already been deleted and meant exactly shit while it existed, restating of how they deleted this post and couldn't control reblogs, ignoring that I literally reblogged the original copy from their blog.

Apology neither believed nor accepted. Just as it wouldn't be if my nephew came to my house, broke a bunch of my things, said he was sorry while throwing the pieces at my pet, then threw himself on the floor screaming that he said he was sorry when I told him to go have a time out.

(Yes, I absolutely did just make a comparison to a child, y'all can shit yourselves again. It's not my problem if you want to misconstrue "this person's actions are not befitting of an adult" as "Vespertine said autistic people are children!" Fucking miss me with that. I'm an autistic adult who pays my bills, apologizes, doesn't treat people like shit while trying to excuse it by being ND. You're offensive with that shit, and contributing to the negative perception people have of those on the spectrum. Be a good ally today! Don't valid that! Free ninety-nine offer!)

Again, sorry for yourself does not equal being sorry for what you've done. The former can contribute to the development of the latter, but as I said in a response yesterday, there has been no display of that beginning to transpire. I genuinely hope that will eventually be the case because that would be the best outcome, the only "best" outcome at this point. Even if it was two years from now, if it did happen, I certainly would not be kind to people refusing them any such growth in peace, and I hope that, by some distant chance, I get to prove that.

But...stating "my intentions were good" over any part of this is not remotely promising. When? Where? At what point? Oh, right, when you took it upon yourself to label a random mun you took issue with. That's when your intentions were good. Then, when you vehemently needed to defend that point by callouts and individual attacks under the guise of it definitely not being about your pride, no! It was the defense of everyone else! Defending the community by carpet-bombing it, yes. This is not a "the path to Hell is paved with good intentions" situation.

I am so disturbed about the nineteen-year-old mun, my god. I'm telling y'all, my anger and disgust almost reach what I think is a pinnacle, then there's something new like this.

I don't even subscribe to tumblr's ideology that anyone under twenty-five is an actual infant who needs be kept in a protective bubble and forgiven for all bad behavior with infinite kindness, nineteen-year-olds deserve the agency of the adultier adults they are becoming, but it is a transitional age. Especially today. Most socialization and formative ideas take place online, and by the time younger RPers are entering the adult sphere of RP here, they've already got some really unhealthy ideas. About themselves, about others. There is such a demand for rabidly performative action that gets internalized, it shouldn't be being heartily fed by people in the community they might look up to.

At that age, someone like Raven is going to be a person looked up to. They espouse all the right ideas, and it's an age in which aggressive interaction over those things is seen as amusing and correct, no matter how wrong the actions taken are or the basis upon which they are founded. When these people foster an environment of cruelty for questioning, of course, that is not going to be the natural response. The response is now going to be the requirement of being told otherwise with adequate proof.

I have suspected that many of the hateful anons I've gotten were from Raven's even younger followers who feel like it's normal, acceptable, and that everything they're being told by Raven's sales team over at the callout blog is absolutely true. Of course, they're now morally obligated to come harass me for the things they were told I did! I think it's likely that several of the anons people got were from actual minors, which is so many levels of scary and irresponsible. Really great example all around, yes!

Because whether it is one's intention or not, that is potentially exposing minors, or muns who are still close enough to be more negatively impacted, to who even knows what. As well as violating the rules of blogs who do not interact with minors for good reason, setting those blogs up for yet another callout for treating someone they didn't know was a minor the way they did or having "freak shit" on their blog. Setting up the other party to be treated with full hostility as an adult would be. Very cool, very responsible.

There is just so much here that is unacceptable, I don't think people who were not directly impacted or have never had a callout against them understand the results, and that is one more unacceptable thing you've been good enough to talk about.

Even while taking a break from the RPC, it affects you negatively. Wondering what you're coming back to, your blog is no longer a safe feeling space, and there's nothing you can do to "cultivate your blog" to change that. They've taken away the ability to simply block and avoid others, the thing that keeps all of us comfortable here as well as allowing that to be all of us no matter how disagreeable we might be to each other. Callouts negate adult behavior. Callouts mean that one doesn't know where more potential for harassment might be coming from, or how long we might have to be worried about that.

It would be a major concern for me as well about what putting myself out there to new writing partners might bring. What the success of that might be. It's incredibly unfair that they've made finding new people precarious and more unpleasant than it can be anyway. That puts all of the future of your RP here in question, and if you're like me, just dropping a muse, picking up another, and moving to a new URL isn't going to be a good choice for you. It isn't that simple if you dedicate time to a muse for a long period of time, when that's the case, that's the RP you want to do and have laid the groundwork for.

I don't know if it will help at all, but it has seemed to me, over the past several days, that there are fewer people in the RPC who are inclined to believe or support callouts than there once was. I was hoping that was the case, since there is always so much interaction on my posts against callout culture, but until this crap went down, I had no idea just how many people are not positive toward it. It has seemed to be that the people who are inclined to listen to callouts are just louder.

I've also noticed that those people have the same set of red flags, so maybe sharing that will help you or others?

They don't have simple, basic, reasonable Do Not Interacts. It isn't simply asking that minors don't interact because the mun is over eighteen, that muns writing a triggering topic not interact, or that sort of thing. No, it's URL dropping of specific muns, outright links to callouts or "receipts," and an accusatory tone about any topics or types of muns who shouldn't interact. Such as "nasty ass proshippers" or "pedo apologists shipping incest."

Their rules are reflective this as well. A statement cannot be made that they do not write, let's say, toxic ships and left at that. There will be some morality wank present about normalizing or romanticizing toxic/abusive relationships.

There are less assured flags, but literally, anything that stands out as an interest in RPC or fandom-based activism as opposed to an interest in writing, their muses, or even their friendships with a variety of muns. I don't mean a rounded-out interest in things, I really do mean a glaring predominance of buzzword-laden reblogs and PSA's while they've not written a reply, headcanon, or answered a meme in months.

I'm not saying any of that because I feel like you, or anyone else's, judgment is terrible or that you're oblivious to warning signs! It's just that when we've experienced bad situations, it can compromise our ability to see clearly. It becomes easy to see a potential threat everywhere, and maybe that seems contrary, but it's then easy to fail to see real threats from those we're blowing up. We question whether we're being just as judgmental as the people who wronged us, putting words in other muns' mouths and thoughts in place of their own as was done to us. While we still are afraid to be wrong in giving someone an in to ruining our time again.

So, please, don't feel like I'm questioning your intelligence or speaking from a place of ultimate knowledge, never making mistakes in such a choice! I just really hate that you, and many others, are going through this, and anything at all that I can think of that might help you move forward from this utter bullshit you've been through, I've got to try to grab it.

Because, Anon, like all those sharing their experiences these last few days, you sound like the kind of mun we need in the RPC.

You're someone willing to share with others for the benefit of others. You're being honest about your feelings of anger and even the hopeless sensation of whether it's even worth it to try to return, having your progress on and offline stomped on, while still maintaining a sort of fairness and calm that I know is not easy. Because that's the mature thing to do, it's the right thing, and unfortunately, those are usually the harder things to do as well.

You did the right thing in expressing your opinion and doing what people like Raven's group love to be on about, can only do through bullying: not tolerating it. I'd hate for the RPC to lose someone like you!

Just as your message matters to more people out there than myself, I have no doubt that your choice to not quietly allow this behavior mattered to more muns than you'll ever know. I'm sure that none of them would have wanted this result for you, but so many muns have experienced such toxic, bullying behavior over the years in which not a soul spoke up.

Many of you proved something very important with challenging Raven and the callouts blog, that unlike them, it isn't necessary for good people to even know each other to do the right thing. They have to dogpile and engage in cliquish behavior, what they do isn't coming from a place of inner ethics and strength, but what you all did? It's the opposite.

So, not only do I thank you again for sharing and providing the important support of simply not being alone to others, I thank you for being the example to the RPC that people dealing in callouts and generalized shaming cannot be, no matter their platform.

I hope that, whether you choose to remain, leave, or take a very long break, everything you've been dealing with starts to look up. I know it's easy to say things made hollow for their repetition and flippant use, like telling you not to let them win, or that their bullshit just isn't that important. So, I'm not going to say them.

It doesn't work that way when you're dealing with mental health concerns! You can logically know that this is just petty bullshit not worth being run out of something important to you, but that doesn't stop the worry, frustration, or depression. You can have all the determination in the world to hang in there, even the spite to back it up, but neither is a match for the things you cannot control coming from your brain. That is the cruelty of mental illness on the very best of days.

You have all of my respect, support, and genuine sympathy that this happened to you. No one should be allowed to continually and unapologetically go out of their way to throw a wrench into someone's hard-won progress. You did nothing to deserve this, and the people out there worth interacting with are going to be the same ones who will have no question of that.

Lastly, I also hope that some of the anons sharing their experiences have helped you feel less alone, or like you're not just irrationally upset. Please know that you're seen and supported as well! And that you are always welcome to talk more, vent, share successes here.

Thank you, Anon.

[deltarune-au-domain]

I made some small references for all the current characters in Rulesrune! Yay! They took forever and probably around 20 to 30 minutes each.

The Contest

This is a personal contest I'm holding since I will be away at camp for a whole week and will literally have no contact with the outside world. None. So why not hold a contest?

What you'll be doing

Pretty much I want to see a swap AU of Rulesrune but find it to complicated myself. So I'm holding a contest to see who'll do it best.

Don't worry you will get something! There will be a prize for the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners!

All you have to do is design what you think Rulesswap would look like! That's pretty much the minimum. You don't have to do all the characters but the more the better!

Prizes

1st place will get rights to the Ruleswap AU and two free drawing requests from me as well as a drawing of your version of the characters

2nd place will get two free drawing requests and a drawing of their version of the characters.

Lastly, 3rd place will get one free drawing request and a drawing of their version of the characters.

Starting to finish

The start is right now! And the finnish is the 3rd of August. To enter, just use #Rulesswap ! This content is also being held in both deltarune au aminos, deltarune amino, undertale and undertale au amino and lastly my DA.

Character information.

This is to help you a bit.

In this AU it is MANDATORY for a Darkner to wear gloves when in the presence of a Lightner because when a Lightner and a Darkner touch bad thing can happen. Usually, the Darkner absorbs the Lightner, merging the two and making it impossible to separate them without killing one or both. Once a Darkner has absorbed a Lightner (this is usually not by choice) they can absorb other Darkners as well except they have a say in the matter since they're now "evened out".

Lancer is a smol bean at first. Due to an unfortunate,unforgettable, and unforgivable incident with his father he has a clawed gash across his face. Due to this, he's now color blind. He tends to asks Ralsei and Rouxls Kaard if he'll ever see a rainbow again. Unfortunately, he probably wont. Now later on Lancer finds Susie injured and attempts to help her, not knowing the gloves rule. This, of course, results in them merging and he now sees Susie as his invisible friend. In battle he uses a boomerang and when knocked out an axe will spin above him. Thats just Susie being over protective.

Rouxls Kaard Was just as cheerful as all usual until the incident happened or what the dark world likes to call it "The fall of the spades". After Lancer had been injured, Rouxls took it appon himself to get even with the spade king and by even I mean strait up beat the guy to a bloody pulp and toss him off the side of the castle. Of course, this most definitely killed the king and the kingdom was not happy. Rouxls, knowing about the geat door, took Lancer and C.Round to the door to escape. The guards chased them and they barely made it in. From then on they lived with Ralsei. Things were fine at first until the merging happened. Lancer had gone off and Rouxls was worried where he had run off too. So he went to go look for Lancer, accidentally passing him and Susie. He then found Kris who was concerned or at least curious where their friend went. Rouxls, not able to turn down any child at this point, agreed to help Kris find their friend when they heard Lancer yell "Dad! I'm lost!" Rouxls, in a rush, grabbed Kris and ended up merging with them. Rouxls Kaard is now a very very silent person and seems to have some personal grudge against Ralsei now, as if he knows something that he didn't before. Rouxls with occasionally talk to his soul but its very rare for him to talk at all. Rouxls use to lance in his pare time so uh..thats kinda how he attacks I guess.

Ralsei is alot taller than usual. He's about 6 feet, maybe a little shorter. This makes him a bit intimidating but Lancer loves him as if he was his own dad. Ralsei is kinda quiet but will talk if someone talks to him first. He's pretty nice and tends to take care of things when Rouxls needs a break. After Rouxls and Lancer's merging with the Lightners him and Rouxls haven't gotten along. They tend to fight (usually not physically because Lancer would notice) fairly often and it causes alot of tension. Lancer thinks his dads get along great so they have to at least pretend to like each other when smol bean is around. Ralsei, though very polite, has someone wrong. Very wrong. Its hard to describe but lets just say hes not all that he seems. He's been caught by Rouxls trying to absorb C.Round and Lancer wich has increased the distrust. No one knows who Ralsei merged with but he hates talking about it and seems to have developed a fear of flowers. Mostly big ones. Ralsei, even though he has poor eyesight, thends to avoid wearing his glasses because when he dose he freaks out. Ralsei is fairly skilled in fire magic due to him practicing alot. He also has vines, though extremely rare. He usually avoids using them at all costs and when he dose its purely accidental.

Jevil oh Jevil. Just as crazy as ever, maybe even more. He's still imprisoned but this time he wants to make a deal with you. He wants your soul. Jevil says that he can literally give you the world if you give him your soul. He'll sing about it during his fight and increasingly get more frustrated when you refuse. This Jevil loves to sing so more often then not he'll sing what he has to say. At the end if his fight, no matter how you defeated him, he'll turn into a scythe. Usually Lancer and Rouxls Kaard leave since they find the dungeon creepy but Ralsei will stay behind and take Jevil for himself.

Seam is the courtyard magician to the new king. Who's the new King? you'll find out later. He's a fairly straightforward cat and prefers to keep his magic acts as a profession. He admits that he misses Jevil but is to scared to go and see him again. He's afraid Jevil will be mad for imprisoning him. This leads Seam to be a bit jumpy since he thinks Jevil might have it out for him.

RK's C.Round dosent have much to be said about them. They fallowed Rouxls Kaard and Lancer to the great door. They lived with them kinda like a pet, keeping Lancer company and out of trouble. They're a great guard dog.

Asgore? You may be a bit confused. Why is Asgore in all of this? He's not even in the picture! Well do I have a story for you. You see, in the light world AKA hometown Asriel has been deemed missing since he went off to collage. Its been 3 years longer than he said and everyone was worried. So when Asgore went missing things got hectic. Undyne started doing more patrols and a curfew was set. Now, where do you think the last place Asgore was seen at was? It was the school. Asgore was helping fix some things and went to put something in the closet when he somehow entered the Dark World. There are multiple entrances and he just so happened to appear by the castle. The other kings had yet to be freed and the kingdom was in disarray so Asgore, being the kind hearted soul he is decided that he would be the new king. It took some convincing and research (as much as there could be) but he finally did it and the people are fairly happy.

Dogtrio is a set of 3 C/K.Rounds that work together. C/K.Rounds are more powerful in numbers. The one with the heart on his crown is their leader. He usually commands and heals the other two during battle. Together, combined, they can summon D.O.G. The acronym is unknown.

Robbert, Bobbert, and Elli are best if friends and like to change anyone. More specifically, they want to take down RK for killing the spade king. Unfortunately, they're just 3 idiots in a trenchcoat. The only lethal one is Robbert but he's so busy trying to make sure his friends don't fall off a clif or miss fire their bubble rocket launcher that he can't actually kill you. Bobbert is bubbly and kind and honest doesn't know what he's doing. Elli is mute yet kind and heals the other two when they get hurt.

Susie was absorbed by Lancer and is now considered his guardian. She protects him when no one else is around and helps describe colors to him. She'd go ballistic if anything happened to him.

Kris is just...Kris? They don't have too much do them. They don't talk and kinda just float around RK, waiting for the chance to escape. But they can't. They never will. It's slowly making them violent. Watch out.

Clover is just normal clover. They still haven't found a boyfriend yet.

[the-firebird69]

Several individuals here have made offers we can't refuse in other words they're talking to us in a way that we'll have to kick them out we were hitting the staff out too permanently ever seen one of them has to go. I can't believe I would have to say that but people here need to hear it they're freaking worms we're going to kick Jenna out now that's a must she's got to go we got to eliminate her track her down to find her areas who's doing that Hera and Freya. Let's try to pay attention to them now Jenna is such an a****** and yeah they've killed more feel than anyone and so we needed to be finished so we're going to sign more people to it at different people idiot and thanks to the motivation moron you make a nice Guock for a Kaiju. So we're sending me now to shut you up don't want to argue about nothing to have you go oh I'm threatening you I said yeah when I got was almost all of you from you threatening me same with them you guys get that yet yeah and see what I'm trying to say the whole time that's me it makes sense dan says that's a lot of death. So listen numbnuts laugh and it's not like we're not going to take the hospital first stupid the easy way to get rid of your idiots the walls going up they don't have much time and they don't know it but they will and they do we're going to be in trouble right here so send it in tons of troops huge huge numbers Florida's only giving you if you force it we want him to have money and stuff like that not to live like a popper under thier themb gross.

Is probably laughing because everyone's such a moron and do they hate somebody cuz they don't want to do nothing that's right for themselves they're constantly beating on him and our son it says he says look what happens stupid and they can't figure it out it's actually a reaction it's cause and effect theystill don't get it I tell you this guy presses completely gone he just understand anything or even know how to use his phone sometimes you can't figure out how to get out of his room. I almost had him trapped in there for an entire day couldn't find his way out he would have died after a couple weeks but any time to do it actually signed it to someone else to have a group and he was in there for a day and a half I didn't get up and he shot right out the door and right at the front door it was weird they said he was thinking of the whole time of how to get out just go out like a bolt. So ask for the report right now and I said you figured it out the place is a trap or do you leave or not I have to wait for the right time when they're trying to keep you here to get out like a bolt. It feels like to try to keep him here cuz why would that be I go out to Utah I get a bunch of money and your assholes are stuck here like I told you so I'm laughing because my son told them you said what happens every time you end up stuck behind thinking you're going to survive and your stuff never works is there laughing I don't know where you're going I don't know where I'm going either tell you what I'm going to Utah on an airplane and you guys have ai it's valuable to mine at least you do fatso and Mike might and Preston so if you are on the plane will be better for me not worse then I have to come back here and I tell you why but it's top secret you're going to ruin my day I'm going to ruin your face that suddenly get something this is not a nice person here no I'm not it's mathematically incorrect for you to torture me and to kill you and you keep doing it but someone else is doing that because what I said is absurd but it's true and they're just people with weak will even jealousy so I get that sitting here bothering me because people are pushing him around

Is it nice of Jenna to make it seem like I'm going to stay there but really Mac would want you along to keep me from going over the wall as they say in prison

I started saying all this our son is. And it's beautiful to me because it means that would work and that would be a plan and that would be what I could be doing that's what we want to do and he does too he says well except through my whole child is keep me poor as dirt it's very demeaning them thinking I don't need to be getting proceeds from what I'm doing it's very evil of them on themselves and me so we're going to see what he's saying exactly what he's saying it's walking around with nothing cuz people think he's a pincushion he has a whole bunch of money and stuff and yes people doing things it's not going to look like that it look like he wiped out tons of people so people will try to take advantage of that it's kind of like b******* you people saying there's nothing all the time. And you don't want that to happen but if he gets tickets on a plane ride you're going to have to be out of here with him and see that a few of you have tickets on the same plane see better make sure you know what it is especially YouTube lazy boys I get stuck here not knowing if he's going to come back and you might not be able to get in and I'll just grab you eventually

Thor Freya

[shewrites24742]

It's The End 😪

We make up, but I know we fistfight through our phones my left hook, a no show. Cause I'll just keep letting you in. But baby the truth is I make your excuses you let me down and Im used to it. You got me right in the palm of your hand and you know it. Boy, it's what you do so let me drown, I'll be there with the band, hit the sea bed. All I'd see it's you. So give me your worst excuses any reason to stay give me your lips the taste of you, I'll kiss them again. I'd rather you walk all over me than walk away. Give me the worst of you cause I WANT YOU anyways.

So it's me here again being broken as always from the breakup. And for me, it's like "We're never going backward. We're always moving forwards. So we are never texting our ex. Ever under no circumstances. Block and leave it blocked." And life moves on for me. But sometimes it's not easy. So to move on in life I just started talking more with some people. Being with my school friends more having time with them. In that group, I felt a connection with a guy. He's so tall and handsome as hell, he's so bad and he does it so well. But he never talked with me in attitude so I liked him. I never thought that we will meet again in the group other friends told me he's a very bad guy, you must stay a million miles away from him. It scared me at first but I can't stay away from that guy and I know he can't too. We started meeting more sometimes not with the group. I saw him as a good person. And I know he is. After few months of meeting and being with each other more. I felt for him and I knew he felt for me the same. He called me to his home because his family went out. And yes I went there to meet him.

He lived near to our school so it's easy to find his home. When I ringed the bell of his home, he opened the door, he asked me for the water and I nodded. After that, we were on the couch watching movies I was next to him in his arms hugging. I felt warm in his arms and it feels so good. He looked at me and asked me something that I haven't expected. He said, " Are we going to watch movies just?" I asked him what else he wanted. He kept his fingers on my chin made me look up at him. And he kissed me. I was a little confused about what it is. But I kissed him back. I grabbed his head and pulled him down to me while kissing. After that, he kissed my neck so hard, I was about to moan louder. He made me sit on his lap which was a good gesture for me. His hands were on my back first then he holds my head kissed me deeper and then his hands slide from my back to my bums he grabbed them very tightly. He asked me " Can I touch your boobs?" I nodded. Then he started teasing me from touches his hands gone inside of my top he grabbed my boobs off. When he grabbed them he did it so hard and I moaned in his ears. He said to me in my ears 'how u feel it? Is it good? Should I do it harder?' I nodded and I moaned so hard and he came up to kiss me. He's pressing my boobs so harder than I thought like I was moaning in his mouth while kissing. Then he kissed my forehead then chicks he again asked me "Can I remove your top if u don't mind" I just nodded when he removes my top he kissed my neck again then he bites me on my neck I moan he came down kissing me from my neck to cleavage. He looked into my eyes saying, baby "Do want me to touch ur boobs?" I said yes. When he touched them I don't know what happened to me I grabbed him to kiss me but he wasn't kissing me back and I was like what happened to you kiss me, man, I want u to kiss me right now. And there he kissed me again he started playing with my boobs ejaculating pinching my nipples grabbing them harder. His fingers moving on my nipples slowly and slow and this makes me moan again in his mouth later he grabbed my neck again started giving me neck kisses and another hand was on my boobs he was teasing me very badly that made me horny as fuck. I removed his t-shirt. I grabbed his neck and gave him neck kisses I bite him there too he looked at me kissed me again on my lips then neck n slow down it on my boobs he kissed my boobs it felt kind of tickles he teased me with his tongue. His tongue was moving round round on my nipples then he took them inside of his mouth. And he sucked my boobs as he was sucking harder I was about to moan harder I thought my soul will come out. I scratch his back off we both got intense, sweating. I fell down on the couch and he's on me sucking my boobs. It felt like heaven for me but I pulled him up and there he asked "u want more? Should I do it again?" I said yes. Again he went down to kiss my other boob but he said me not to close my eyes and feel it more. It means he wants me to watch him do it. I just listen to him I watched him doing it again his tongue on my nipples flicker then round and round kisses and he sucked nipples again when he's doing it I might close my eyes but he pulled my neck and make me watch him sucking my tits. It's like Ahh do it more harder n harder. And here I moan again fuck he came again up to kiss me I was behaving like im drunk but he kisses like the thing that I want more n more again n again. Then he asked, "can I remove your pants?" I said to him, yes u can. When he removes my pants off I felt wet down there because I was when my pants were on his floor it was cold and when he came to kiss me again I was ready that time but someone knocks on the door.

I thought it will be his family but it's the other girl. Which he never told me ever? I just wore my clothes away and gone to the washroom. I saw her in the living room where we had closure before she came along. He's talking with her and I wanted to go home and he opened the door and I left being embarrassed. After few days our group planned to meet and they're the same girl who was with him. And while discussing something she asks in front of the group to him like it's that girl who was at your home and left when I came there and all the group members were looking at me like why is she gone at his home and for what? I didn't tell them what happened actually but then he spoke to them that she was helping me for making food and stuffs but they all get to know what really happened between us. And yeah it was heart breaking for me and I d even know who's that girl who said about me in the group which was ridiculous.

So what everyone got to know maybe so I left the group n started being alone as usual. He was texting me, saying sorry for what happened n that girl is none other than her cousin. He said that she has a kind of project so she came there n he forget that she's coming that day. I was like wow and she said in the group that I was with you at your home that day. I was like fuck me. But I didn't reply to him next I was staying away from everyone and being depressing about what happened with us was unexpected. My head started paining a lot after these things happen. I took some pills too but it wasn't working for me out.

In 2 months I notice many changes in me. My nose started bleeding too. My family got worried for me as well but I never let anyone of my friends knew that I'm suffering from this tho. And the solution to the problem we are not able to find out too. Some of my friends came to my home also to meet me but I was inside I told my family that no one is allowed to meet me. After few weeks I tested positive also for Cancer Disease. My family all freaked out because of it. They started taking care of me the most which I needed. All were going good but it's not working for me still my nose was bleeding and I wasn't able to recover soon also I have tough nights also. When I woke up my family went out for some work and I don't know why he came to meet me. He knocks on the door I was not ready to open it but I opened the door I let him in. And when he saw me in this condition he was in shock statement and didn't speak much that time. I get to knew that he's scare of me now after some time we were on my balcony talking just and there's the rain started falling I was running inside but he grabbed my hand out there. I was like I want to go inside of my room it's cold over here. And he said let it be just for one time with me, please.

So I said yes to him he hold my hands and pulled me close to him. We danced in the rain but then he grabbed my neck and pulled me up for a kiss. And he kissed me so hard we both were wet and picked me up and taken me to my room and he drops me down to my bed and yes he's on me kissing my lips and he removes his t-shirt and came up to kiss me. Damn his kisses he removes my clothes off too I just let him because I wanted it too. He again grabbed my neck n gave me neck kisses but this time it was very sensual like every kiss and every touch it was a good love. He grabbed my boobs n pressed them off and yes I moan louder but he came up to make me shut up with kisses. Then he removes my bra and tugs his fingers on my nipples and squeezing them up. I was moaning in his mouth. Then he looked at me n asked me this is what you want huh? I just said yes I want it. He sucked my titties off slowly slowly n this time I was looking at him the way he sucked them up. He asked me " Can I touch you down there?" I nodded to him. And finally, he touched me down there he fingered me slowly in the start then his finger started moving so fast and he was sucking my tits too. I thought my soul gonna come out now it was that amazing and satisfying. I was moaning so hard and when he came up to kiss me I felt something coming out from my nose. I was bleeding again and here some blood he got on his face we both ran to the bathroom he watched my face first I took my pills for that but it wasn't stopping I called my family urgently. And they were about to come home and I hugged him for the last time he said to me everything will be okay you will recover soon. And I made him go

My family came home they seen me bleeding so far and it's not stopping we gone to the hospital and my doctor said us to admit her immediately they gave me such injections that I fell dizzy and they were checking me out. After some time I slept also. When I woke up my family and all the doctors were around me they were all just being so sweet to me and I was like what happened to them why were they r all behaving like this for what. When some of my relatives came inside to meet me they all starts crying and then I thought is it's my last day or something or I just left very little time for myself. When my mom came inside to meet me I asked her what is going on im I going to die soon or something she didn't say anything she just fell into tears hugged me tightly n that makes me cry as well. I told her to bring my dairy she did what I said to her. I wrote for myself and for him too. Nothing lasts forever but my one condition is still u remember me being kissed, danced in the rain, say you see me again in your wildest dream. It's time that ill leave but I bet this memory follows you around. And it's the time that I have to leave u all guys but just remember the time we spent laughing together and loving as well. And I kept my dairy inside of my pillow n fallen to sleep. So ITS THE END of me.