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#cause woe she's me
khairosclerosis · 11 months
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⚖️ OH the misery... EVERY SINGLE PERSON is my ENEMY
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wordstome · 9 months
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I keep sitting down to write and going “I’m going to write a sweet, vulnerable reader for once because I want a big strong man to protect me and it’s fun to be indulgent” and she always ends up being some terrible little gremlin. God has cursed me for my hubris and my work is never finished
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doom-dreaming · 5 months
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Cheerful Oblivion
Thought that I was hungry for love… Maybe I was just hungry for blood. **********
I met a woman in a club once. Years ago. Can’t get her out of my head. If I didn’t still have the napkin with her number on it… Well. Would’ve been easy to assume I dreamed the whole thing up.
It was a miserable night to be out. Rain was coming down in buckets, flooding the streets. Could almost hear it over the music, pelting the roof. But there she was. Filling the entire doorway. No coat. No umbrella. Nothing but a black tank top and jeans that looked too tight to be comfortable. Soaked to the bone, dripping wet, faded blue-raspberry-bright hair plastered to her neck. She looked like she’d dragged herself straight out of the ocean. In hindsight, maybe she had.
********** England is only ever gray or green. The girls glitter, Striding glorious and coatless in the rain. I remember falling through these streets, Somewhat out of place, if not for the drunkenness… It makes my chest hurt to think of it, Not of regret, but of missing that… …cheerful oblivion… **********
I remember the way she stood there, caught under spotlight rays of blue and green, the rain on her face sparkling like diamonds… She looked like an angel. Could’ve been. Probably wasn’t. More than likely…something else.
She didn't belong there. In the club. I don’t mean that in a judgmental way. Maybe philosophical. She didn't really seem like she belonged anywhere. But I could see it in her eyes, almost fluorescent blue under the lights. To her, it didn’t matter where she belonged. What mattered was where she wanted to be. And she wanted to be there. In that club. On that night.
I’d never been afraid of being noticed by a beautiful woman. I craved it. Don’t we all? This was different. She was different. Never felt my blood run colder than the second our eyes locked. It felt like being hunted.
********** It was not all pain and pavement slick with rain, And shining under lights from shitty clubs, And doing shitty drugs, And hugging girls that smelled like Britney Spears and…coconuts… **********
She flowed through the crowd like water, parting the proverbial sea, leaving a wake of awestruck stares. If she knew she was the center of attention, she didn’t care. She was a full head taller than anyone else, a titan amongst mere mortals. Muscles rippled when she moved. Wet skin shimmered. I tried not to stare, I really did. Couldn’t help myself. I could’ve watched her for days.
She swept ashore at the bar, smelling like petrichor and oil slicks. Ordered a drink. Smiled down at me, sitting so small a million miles beneath her. There was nothing human about that razor-sharp flash of teeth.
She asked if I wanted another drink. Hadn’t realized I’d finished the one in my hand. I nodded. Couldn’t find my voice. Tab’s on me, she’d said. Not here for long, least I can do. After tonight, you’ll never see me again.
********** And with your mermaid hair and your teeth so sharp, You crawled from the sea to break that sailor’s heart. You only get one night upon the shore, So dance like you’ve never danced before. And the dance floor is filling up with blood, But, oh Lord, you’ve never been so in love… **********
I asked her where she was from. She laughed, a harsh bark of a thing that ripped out of her throat like it hurt. Nowhere. I asked for her name. She didn’t answer. But that animal grin flashed back, a bright white scar across her face. For no reason, I thought about moths. And flames.
We stopped talking. Kept drinking. Started dancing. God, the way she moved. Like a machine. Like a predator. Like a ballerina. Equal parts precision, power, beauty.
I couldn’t keep up. She didn’t seem to care. I was a prop. A plaything. An entertaining little toy, something to keep her distracted. From what, I didn’t know. But it didn’t matter. It felt like an honor.
********** And the mermaids they come once a year, They climb the struts of Brighton Pier, They come to drink, they come to dance, To sacrifice a human heart. And the world is so much wilder than you think. You haven’t seen nothin’ ‘til you seen an English girl drink… **********
I do still see her. Sometimes. In my dreams. In those hazy amber-clad memories. It’s hard to know what was real. Don’t know who she was. Or what she was.
Never did call that number. Not sure she’d really wanted me to. Probably for the best. I get the feeling that if we’d been in that club alone together… She would’ve eaten me alive.
And I think I would've let her.
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kalicocal · 1 year
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✨miracle art post✨
finished version
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buryam-soul · 1 month
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I hope picking the Male Rover from Wuthering Waves is the reason I sort out my gender situation bcs that would be a pretty funny way for that to happen
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highlynerdy · 8 days
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I am completely gone on these two. Just...them.
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dokutah-exe · 1 year
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kroos but she’s burdened by the unbearable guilt of her failures
unacceptable. she gets my patented hot coco-daiyo with marshmellow drink and pillows to feel better
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chrimsone · 3 months
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Boss makes a buck, I make a dime
So I apply to other jobs on company time
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thiscatisbisexual · 5 months
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Russian doily designers love lying in their patterns.
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pluvicor · 1 year
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ooc: Well, got to that point where the first doctor (who I lovingly call "brain doctor") I saw about some problems took a look at me, didn't bat a lash and went "yeah, you're getting checked for ADHD with correlated GAD" so that's where I am currently: in hell.
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daisywords · 8 months
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started rereading a book that I had mixed feelings about but have also thought about a lot since (and I do like to revisit works that had a particular resonance with me to try and figure out what that captivating something was) and anyway I did read this book the first time when I was probably too young for it (I think my mom was reading it for a book club and I saw it on her nightstand and read the blurb and she told me I probably should wait until I was older to read it) and I remember that sneaking into her room to read it in little snatches. Sitting on the floor of her bathroom in secret with that book. But ANYWAY what I'm trying to say is I remembered being vaguely annoyed with the narrator and I was wondering if that would still be the case reading it as an adult. And the answer is yes. I am finding her insufferable, in fact.
#it's The Thirteenth Tale in case you were wondering#and this gal is annoying for multiple reasons#but to get specific. She was born with a conjoined twin but her twin died and she didn't find out about this until she was ten#and weirdly defines like her whole identity on that#haven't got far enough yet but I remember later in the book they like wax poetic about this inherent sense of ''twin-ness''#and like her always feeling the shadow of her dead twin and stuff#which. ok. vibes I guess.#but hear me out. I was also actually a twin (we think) bc my mom literally had a miscarriage but then was still pregnant with me#which. (1) was not a defining moment to find out about bc I do not even remember her first telling me that#(2) maybe has caused me to wonder more about what it would have been like to grow up as a twin than your average person#but I also think that's probably normal to wonder about a little#and (3) is definitely not something I would base my identity around at all??#granted. being born connected is more dramatic and also this is literally gothic fiction#but still idk she's all like ''oh woe is me I'm half of a whole and I've been lonely forever bc I'm missing my other half''#like. girl me too? but idk I'm normal about it#also the whole ''I only read books all day and I don't talk to anyone and I just work at my dad's bookstore#where I don't actually have to do that much work I just get to read whatever I want and also write when I feel like it''#I HATE YOU#she's just like me if my main character syndrome was indulged and if I was ANNOYING and self-obsessed#what growing up an only child will do to you ig lol#if you've reached the end of my very petty and specific rant. hello.
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savage-rhi · 9 months
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I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.
#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to#place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like#LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee#so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of#people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take#a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM)#the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore#ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team#but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up#graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made#my adhd brain go WELL SHIT#ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do#love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving#people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt#but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel#amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou#life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i#just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive#but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present#and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now#on a positive note...#my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made#a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little#im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor#i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it#but damn it im tired#thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave#if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you#please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you
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weaponizedhorse · 1 year
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People on TikTok are so dumb🤦‍♀️
Random TikTok user 1: are you a hypochondriac? Why do you wear a mask? Afraid you are catch a cyber bug?
Me: makes a video explaining why I wear a mask
Random TikTok user 2: why are you crying on social media about your problems no one cares about
Me:???
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marbleheavy · 1 year
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every mother-daughter relationship is between your mother, you, and her parasocial relationship with you
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sassyandclassy94 · 1 month
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Funny how a bad day makes you a whole lot less excited and more hesitant to return to work the next day…
#oh my gosh guys Sydney is awful… like her entire ‘performance’ (or lack thereof) totally set off the entire workplace#and caused everyone to be behind and in such bad moods - including myself#we’re all hoping she quits but if she doesn’t… I think the owner plans on firing her🥴#(and Chastity is such a sensitive person it’s gonna upset her having to do that…)#but oh my gosh!! I never want to work with her again.#I miss Brock so much that was kid was not only a great worker but could answer any question you threw at him!!#she keeps whining saying ‘I just don’t like working’.#THEN HONEY YOU BEST FIND YOURSELF A RICH MAN TO MARRY BECAUSE IN THIS LIFE WE WORK TO BE ABLE TO LIVE#And I’m sorry if I have no sympathy for her but I worked in an environment that was so stressful and toxic#that I was literally losing my hair (I’m still hoping it regains its old thickness)#and I was there for NINE. Years.#this job seems like heaven after that so don’t come crying to me about how the freezer makes your job the most cruel thing on earth🙄y#you wanna know what’s cruel little Missy?! Cruel is making your employees wear a mask while running up and down stairs in the stifling heat#and humidity witu no AC. Whatsoever.#CRUEL is forcing your single young female employee to make friendly small talk with the shady males of your town#even after you’ve voiced how unsafe and vulnerable you feel#cruel is being fired over your social anxiety. (she wanted me gone so she used my personality against me)#AFTER NINE YEARS OF HARD WORK AVAILABILITY AND DEDICATION!#Cruel IS NOT stocking our freezer products in a small local grocery store#AND GIRL!!! you were literally hired to replace Brock!! he TRAINED you. You KNEW EXACTLY what your job was gonna consist of.#you do NOT have my sympathies#and if you hate a part of your job wouldn’t you work quickly just to get it over with?! cause that’s what I do!!!#ughhhh…#personal#work woes#a day in the life of a market associate
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lxckheart · 9 months
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@poeticphoenix asked: 👀
Send 👀 for my muse to catch yours staring at them!
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She had been busy cleaning off the last of the bar tables for the night. A cloth in hand and some disinfectant spray in the other, leaned over and wiping across the smooth wooden surface. Her elbows slightly leaning on the table, and she was certain she felt exactly what her boyfriend was staring at. Especially since her back was slightly arched so she could get a nasty spot in particular. Someone thought it was funny to spill a mixed drink all over the edge of a table. Tifa only giggles and stares over her shoulder at Genesis, lightly shaking her hips at him. "Oh? You see something you like hmmm? Well what are you gonna do about it hmm?"
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