#cazador...i gotta kill that guy

[qrowpilled]

i made that post about having astarion brainworms and it got like 80k notes but now that i actually have the game and am experiencing the characters firsthand i'm realizing my perceptions of both him as a character and how i would feel about him were off the mark

[alpaca-clouds]

How redeeming Gortash would improve Karlach's story

I will admit, that the title is a bit overstated, because by the time you actually get to interact with Gortash, the plot just does not have enough time left to redeem him. Because other than what some folks in Hollywood think: No, giving a character one last minute "heel-face-turn" with one big symbolic act does not in fact redeem a character. Redemption is a process that takes time.

BG3 actually understands this, because Astarion's arc basically ends with: "You took the first steps towards redemption." Which is really good.

However: You could end the game at least in a way to set Gortash up for a possible redemption arc - and more importantly just... not have him die. Because actually that would improve Karlach's character arc.

I will get one thing out of the way first: The entire "Gortash redemption" idea is always contentious on the fact that he is a really bad guy. Like, he is bad. He brutally killed and tortured, he enslaved people, all of that.

I am an anarchist though. Hence, I do not really believe that punishment is in any way just. And to put it differently: Killing Gortash does not undo any of the harm he has caused. Not a single dead person will live through it, not a single tortured person will become untortured through it, and no slave is freed through it either (you kinda gotta say that as the player in a different mission).

And yes, I will say at this point that in general I was iffed by the fact that in many fights of the game I was not given a choice really. It was "either join the bad guys or kill them", and my "all charisma bard", who does not believe in killing for revenge, was like: "But... But..."

Like, my Tav was on board with killing Cazador (because literally in the situation it is "kill Cazador or have 7000 people die") and killing Ketheric (because he needed to die to end the curse), but he is already iffy on Orin (as she never had a choice but to be a killer) and definitely is not on board with killing Gortash (because there is no good reason to do it).

But let me talk about Karlach. Because the thing is... I have seen a lot of commentary on how Wyll is underwritten. And he is. But not as underwritten as Karlach. Like, her entire companion quest basically goes: "Kill some fake paladins, find Dammon, find two pieces of Infernal Iron, kill Gortash (which you have to do for plot reasons either way)". She doesn't really have a dungeon connected to her quest. Nor really an exclusive boss fight, because again: Gortash you kinda gotta fight for the story either way. Nothing really.

Every other character, too, also has to make one hard decision. Where they want one thing - but what is actually the good thing is something else. I wrote about this before, the "become what you hate" decision, basically.

Karlach doesn't. Sure, you could argue that the "die or go back to Avernus" decision is her big decision. But it feels very different than the decisions of the others.

Which brings me to Gortash and saving him.

Here is the thing: Logically speaking Gortash should probably be able to fix Karlach's engine. He understands infernal engines, as he built the Steel Watch around them. You can easily argue that yeah, he should be able to fix Karlach. And that... would actually make for a great decision for Karlach's story.

If I would get to fix Karlach's companion quest, I would probably do it like this: Put in some sort of dungeon where Dammon sends you in the hope that you can find some plans there, that might give him an understanding on how to fix the engine. Heck, if you do not wanna do a whole new dungeon, you could also just put some plans or whatever into the Steel Foundry.

The point is that it will then turn out that, yeah, even with those plans for some reason Gortash is the only one who could fix it. Putting Karlach into the spot to make this decision: Does she value her life more than her revenge on Gortash?

Because here is the thing: Gortash is supposed to be 1) the intelligent one of the dead three chosen, and 2) also clearly is the one who acts first and foremost in some sense for his own self-preservation. Which made me go like: "Nah, this does not make sense," when he decides to fight against me after his Steel Watch was disabled and I already killed the other two chosen.

So, yeah... You should get at least a chance to persuade him to just give up - or, going back to what I was talking about before - to save Karlach.

And again, I actually think that even for the Gortash part of the story it would make for more interesting storytelling. Killing him is not really that interesting.

Especially as, once again, killing him does not undo any of the harm he has caused. But given that he is this big egghead he could actually do something good if he got to live. And yeah, also there is the fact that... You know... Given what we know about his backstory, his actions are about as understandable as those of some of the companions.

Some of you might already know, I have written some fics dealing with the way how I would imagine something like this to go. Mainly Hurt begets Hurt (which is basically my Tav convincing Gortash to give up), An Impossible Future (Karlach inner turmoil after her engine is fixed) and Cheesy Noodles (Gortash being a big meany towards Tav, who is unphased by this).

I am right now writing a story featuring Astarion dealing with a very, very depressed Gortash.

[passionesolja]

For the whole game, this man has been like “oh no we gotta duck and dodge Cazador. If he knows where I am he could walk into the camp and kill us all” I’m like “damn” so tell me why the minute we run into Astarion’s “brothers and sisters” he goes to flexing and acting a fool. My dawg, I get that we level 9 but Cazador is level 11. I get that you tryna flex on Cazador and all but my guy you really fucking around like we ain’t all gon find out. Astarion gets one small piece of leverage and goes crazy. My mans we do not smoke with Cazador yet, bro get a tadpole in his head and start acting brand new

[justporo]

Let's do some baddies:

FMK - Gortash, Cazador, and Mystra

Okay okay okay *stares off into the distance*

Kill Cazador - No question, no hesitation, not a doubt in my mind, I would NEVER even touch this guy unless it is with a sharp knife into his heart, let's be real, ugh...

Fuck... Mystra - Idk, she's gotta have something, alright? At least I hope or Gale and Elminster really have some explaining to do... Although I'd definitely run before she would tell me to blow myself up... Not into that kinda toxic behaviour...

And yet again we end up with

Marry Gortash - How does he always end up on top tonight? I feel like I said to marry this guy more often than Astarion, I'm ruining my brand and also my friendships with my mutuals...

[mrcrowblargs]

been a little while since I updated my BG3 log and I got lots done aaaa feeling excited and a bit sad that I'm nearing the end. I've really enjoyed this adventure.

After Cazador, took Gale to visit Mystra. Got some big news but I urged him to seek forgiveness and freedom over anything. I like that Gale is on the surface one of the good guys but he can fall into power corrupts as easily as say, Astarion.

On the hunt for the House of Grief I ran into THE WORST FUCKING QUEST EVER OH MY GODDDDDD this haunted ass house handed my ass to me over and over. I hated every inch of it.

Fashion time! It's so late in the game that you find new underwear

got one little tag on my doodle comic like "OP is in denial about the rotting teeth" and im just like I DONT SEE IT HONESTLY??? they just look yellow and like there's a of a snaggletooth.

More plot based stuff under the cut!

Wrapping up Shadowheart's quest was harder than Astarion's by virtue of TWENTY FUCKING ENEMIES I had to restart twice before the first round ended... made liberal use of Hypnotic Pattern. I didn't find it as cathartic an end as Astarion's but there was still definitely like, a release. And I love Shadowheart's last line there.

The reward was great tho. My bard now has 24 CHA baybeeeyyy

time to rescue Lae'zel (she was kidnapped before Cazador) and OH SHIT THATS THE SKULL FROM THE MAIN MENU SCREEN??? AAAA The Baahlists are a bitch and a half with all their murder status effects and I was SO GLAD I respecced Karlach into Barbarian 8 / Thief 4 for that extra cunning action when the "defeat this guy before he casts Power Word Kill at you" fight came up. What a fucking mess that was.

Fighting Orin was easier... I was not expecting her to transform into a big dumb monster honestly! I expected she would be teleporting around or use some shapeshift abiltiy to be all annoying but it was a really straight forward fight.

Oh, aaaaaannnd I did not fight Sarevok, so that was another Weird Ritual to inspire my tav. He's now an unholy assassin and I'm sure Astarion must appreciate the smell of being absolutely soaked in blood. I don't feel too bad about killing Valeria because she seemed like a terrible detective though I did have karlach skip her turns in the fight because I couldn't imagine her being for it. Like it's just pathetic.

Took Astarion to the drow twin courtesans... tbh I appreciate the game showing like, yes he is healing and doing better but some things you just don't get over right away. But I also want to get the spray bottle out like dude!!! don't force yourself!!!

I used a growth elixir on Karlach for the Orin fight which didn't use up that many character resources and the elixir lasted all day so... directly to the House of Hope with Karlarge it was!

Bit of a visual glitch because it reappeared later but it was nice to see Aldrich without the raccoon eyes and veins again. Just went around sitting on things in Raphael's house.

AND THEN UH???? UHH??? This supremely awkward scene with Raphael's personal incubus who looks exactly like him??? I didn't wanna start a fight because I thought Raph himself might show up but I could not pass the fucking Con check afgkdd

"you can have my body but not my soul" AGSFKHDDS???? I'm jelly tho I wish I had these eyes (but more purple) for Aldrich

Reloading and fighting the incubus was absolutely worth it for this Speak With Dead bit. the answer: he bottoms exclusively.

AND THEN THE FIGHT WITH THE BIG DEVIL HIMSELF!!!! I was already amazed when vocals dropped into the fight music BUT THEN HE WAS SIGNING HIS OWN BATTLE MUSIC???? It absolutely slapped. Amazing fight. I had Hope with me and convinced Yurlgirldsbfjs whatever his name is to join which greatly reduced the chaos. The only criticism I have is that it was a big of a slog getting Raphael down from 666 HP. but damn what a great loot payoff!

Getting near the end now. Of outstanding quests I have now, I gotta pass the hammer off to Voss, find/recruit Minsc, see if anything else is in the sewers, then sabotague the Steel Watch factory, infiltrate the Iron Throne, and confront Gortash. Then we'll see how it goes for the finale.

I'm still kinda worried what it will mean for my Tav going partially illithid and also aiming for freeing Orpheus. Seems like freedom really rides on the guy cooperating with us.

[agent-jaselin]

Hi again! I've been fascinated by your livethrough(is that a word?) of Calem in BG3 and have been inspired to throw my wol into faerun as well djdjjdj would love to hear more abt Ur Guy in his Situations!

aw thank you so much! yeah I'm absolutely planning on drawing more :3 Though I've gotta catch up on other stuff XD

A couple fun things for now though: When Jaheira offered him the wine he said no on principle because of the WoL issue with getting drugged or poisoned or kidnapped whenever they try to have a nice meal. XD I didn't know she'd actually poisoned it.

And, though I'm still very much in act two, I've seen some of the videos with Cazador and you can bet the only reason he didn't pounce on his head and start biting and clawing is cause Astarion had a hand on his shoulder like "not yet".

He does pounce on his head when he magic drags Astarion up onto the dias though. "weapons? What are those it's feral time"

considering Eorzeans everything is made of magic/aether. and the closest to anti magic is "silence". Kinda tempted to assume sussa flowers and anti-magic fields could actually kill Calem given enough time.

Just love this tiny man being put in situations. He was supposed to have a vacation.

Here's what he looks like in each game, his more canon look from Final Fantasy, and then my best attempt to mimic it in Baldur's gate XD thinking of combining the two a bit maybe. (part of me thinks I should have pushed the age gauge farther in bg3 but the other part is like "lore wise Miqo's literally stop aging at 20")

(he has the volo eye but that was just me wanting see invisibilty. Actually in story Calem smacks Volo in the face like an annoying dog before it gets that far.)

[flowersdaggersviolasandblood]

Blood, Flesh, and Tears

Name: Torment (He/Him)

Race: Zariel Tiefling

Class: Paladin (Oath of Vengence)

Background: Haunted One

Continuing with the Torment run for a moment, I decided to pop off Raphael's quest so that it's in the quest board to do later. After fighting some Kuo-Toa and fighting some slimes, I decided to run over to Moonrise Towers. After seeing the kickass Ketheric Thorm intro, I went around silently taking out the scrying eyes. But I was able to explore a bit more. One, it seems Torment is known at Moonrise Towers! Apparently, Torment, in the unknown past, has been in Moonrise Towers. I discovered this when I decided to speak with a cat named Steelclaw. They made mention that they saw Torment and hissed at them when they first met. I killed the little guy, but this would be far from the last person who recognized Torment.

While exploring, I dispatched a few individuals quietly and when I took out Linsella, there was another surprise. Now, I may have unlocked this because I still had Speak with Animals active on Torment, but the mind controlled Gnolls rejoiced when they saw that Torment has returned. Another hint that Torment has been to Moonrise Towers before. There's one final person I discovered during this gameplay moment, but we'll get into that later. After checking out the mystery flesh wall, Torment and the gang went down into the prison to free the Tieflings and Deep Gnomes. This is where Torment met the Tiefling Warden who remembered Torment was given special privilege during his stay at Moonrise, but didn't elaborate why he was cut off.

After dispatching all the guards, Torment freed the Tieflings and Deep Gnomes. Now, something I gotta comment on. So, Rolan's siblings are jailed her and they, for whatever reason, despite the fact that Torment saved them from the Druid Grove, they just assumed that Torment was with them...Which...Ok, I can understand Torment might seem sussy because the Absolute cultists allowed Torment and his crew to freely roam about and talk freely with the other members. But I think my first reaction to seeing my savior from the Emerald Druids and the Goblins would be a smidge of hope before just outright going "fuck you, you're with the absolute >:(."

Regardless, Torment was able to free them safely and send them to Last Light Inn. Also, I found the mystery flesh pit again, but I decided to go in through the hole because I thought it would send me to the other side of the flesh pit so that I could find Zevlor. However, it sent me to the same area. So looks like we still got some exploring to do if we want to find Zevlor.

Before freeing the Tieflings, as I was in the process of getting rid of the cultists at the docks, we were able to discover that there's a whole barrel full of Mindflayer parasites that is destined to Baldur's Gate and perhaps more is on the way to the city. Shadowheart makes the suggestion that we can utilize it against Moonrise Towers, which that remains to be seen atm.

We also met Araj and Torment supported Astarion not wanting to bite the Drow. However, Torment did agree to give his own blood in exchange for a special elixir specifically made for him. Unlike with Admaer, where this jumpstarted their relationship, Astarion and Torment simply had a 1-on-1 about how he's free to make his own decisions now that he's away from Cazador. Torment was able to find the Githyanki disk where it talks about Prince Orpheus and had Lae'zel translate it for him. While explore the Tower, I was able to reach Ketheric's bedroom with an undead dog guarding the room. Unfortunately, Shadowheart was the one who spoke with the dog and failed in the animal handling check to calm the creature.

After exploring as much of Moonrise as possible, we went over to the mausoleum. One thing I noticed is that there is a dialogue option when Lae'zel is at camp and you go deeper into the Cursed Lands, there's a option to bring up about Lae'zel having not met with her people at the creche yet. At this point, I tried to avoid this because I didn't want her to leave the party. But when I ventured deeper into the temple of Shar, her campsite was no longer there.

Not only that, but while exploring the mausoleum, we found something interesting! So in the area where we can solve a puzzle to reach the Gauntlet of Shar, there's a open coffin in the area with a plaque that says "He lies Isobel Thorm." Now, this time around in this playthrough, I've connected the dots a bit better. Back in my Pero playthrough, I made the assumption that Thorm was mourning his mother and that's why he turned evil. But no, the person he lost was his wife, and he already had, what may be half-elf, children. While his other children turned to the worship of Shar with him, it seems Isobel kept to Selune. It also make it exceptionally interesting that Isobel is to be kidnapped instead of killed because he might've wanted to force her into undeath. Now, I'm just speculating there, but that may be something he wants.

Regardless, this time around, because I know better, when the Party met the three skeletons who had a parasite controlling them, one was left alive after fighting some Shar spirits. Following them, I was able to meet Balthazar and was able to "accept" the quest to look for a way to reach the Nightsong. We were also able to gain his BABY BROTHER!?!?! So that flesh golem is actually Balthazar's miscarriage baby brother whom his mother blamed Balthazar for his twin's death. In response, his mother is in a jar in the room.

I also learned that there's a Shar worshipper in the temple of Shar that's become a swarm of rats...So that's something. After dealing with Raphael's rival and learning the meaning behind Astarion's scars. Like Pero, Torment agreed to help Astarion and take down his former master. However, we gotta talk about Shadowheart. Now, Torment is starting to not vibe with Shar, especially after experiencing and reading up on what people who worship Shar do and stand for. If it comes down to it, Torment will kill Shadowheart if she intends to fully devote herself to Shar as a Dark Justiciar.

[abra-goddamn-cadabra]

first timer plays new vegas: part deuce

remember when I complained about Caravan before? I AM NOW THE CARAVAN GOD

I stumbled into a big NCR camp on the river and agreed to take new secret codes to a bunch of NCR outposts. Gotta say, handing your secret codes to a random mailperson seems like very bad security

I went up Black Mountain and met a super mutant named Neil. It’s so refreshing to talk to a mutant who doesn’t have that annoying as hell mutant voice. Bethany take notes.

I stealthed and ambushed my way up Black Mountain, read some terminals, killed Tabitha, proceeded to loot everything in the vicinity, and found a Mr Handy. Used my beefed up science skills to restart it and.....it’s Rhonda! Shit!

so I’ve reloaded my save now and reunited Rhonda and Tabitha. they walked away into the sunset. have a nice trip ladies, please don’t kidnap more ghouls

speaking of ghouls, Raul is great but I miss Boone shooting stuff before it ever got near me. I keep running into cazadores and dying

so anyway I went back for Boone

is there really no option to help the deathclaw mom move her babies elsewhere?? I keep looking for an angle but I haven’t found that option yet. I don’t want to hurt her. she’s doing her best.

since I can’t find the option that lets me keep the deathclaw alive (I know it’s there, I’m gonna find it dammit), I’ve decided to avoid Sloan and go really far east to come at Vegas. I found the lake and have now been killed by the Creature From 20,000 Fathoms. Twice. 

I also found a lake cave that I drowned in and a sunken plane, which I couldn’t find anything to do with so I got reallllly curious and pulled up the wiki and found out that it’s based on an actual converted B-29 that crashed into Lake Mead in ‘48 and is still chilling down there on the bottom irl. awesome!

I got into the REPCONN headquarters and scored a sweet plasma rifle, which is nice since I’ve been stacking energy weapons from the start. I can’t pick a lock worth a damn though, so I couldn’t get into that solar system room

found Arcade. I’ve seen discussions on here about Arcade, but I always thought he was a woman for some reason? Can’t remember what his deal is at the moment though.

I helped Elvis settle a problem with the NCR and he likes me now but he won’t let me join his Elvis club. Maybe it’s because Aster’s a lady? Don’t be sexist Elvis

feeling bad for Elvis’s robodog. I need to remember to help him out once I find Benny

I also stood guard in front of the Silver Rush for a while. I was hoping I could work for them and get a deal on energy weapons but I really don’t like their vibe. I’m pretty sure I talked to a Legionary in the desert and now this guy is demanding I bring him Cass? No? Fuck off? we have a rapport, we same hatted over liking girls

thanks Caravan for helping me roll into Vegas with a cool 15,000 caps. credit check what? passport who?

managed to convince a guy named Swank that Benny was scheming behind his back so I snuck into Benny’s room and found Yes Man. I love this robot.

I don’t love this robot enough to make all robots into him unfortunately

House’s casino is SO CREEPY I HATE IT. the presidential suite isn’t too shabby though, wish it had some windows

NEVERMIND FUCK ULTRA LUXE IS THE CREEPIEST CASINO ON THE STRIP

but it’s definitely the nicest architecturally, no arguing that

so anyway my bisexual ass took both Cherchez le Femme and Black Widow while I was wandering the Mojave so Aster could be bi too and in what is probably some of the most hilarious dialogue I’ve been privy to in a long time I pretended I wanted to sleep with Benny then gooified him once I got him alone in his room

I felt kinda bad about killing him like that at first and thought about reloading to try again but like. He literally buried Aster alive in a grave in the desert for no reason whatsoever so I feel like it’s justified

anyway I now have the platinum chip back and everybody suddenly wants to talk to me including Caesar(!) so we’ll see where this goes

tbh though I don’t see a reason not to just give it back to House? I mean I get it, the robots are kinda creepy, his brain’s in a jar somewhere plugged into a supercomputer so can we even be sure he’s still human, he’s a capitalist (his greatest sin). But he also kept Vegas from being immediately steamrollered by the NCR and it seems like he’s attached enough to his casinos that I could convince him to hold the dam against the Legion.

I mean not that the NCR even seems that bad. I’m definitely a big fan of the rangers so far. They get bogged down in bureaucracy though, and they don’t seem to defend folks if they’re not strategically important enough, which I don’t like.

But as far as House goes, I don’t see a downside to Aster just finishing her delivery. Especially since the guy did help save her life.

[zmediaoutlet]

la cocina es el centro de la casa

for @thebratfarrar, for her birthday

(read on AO3)

Dean’s been sweating since he woke up this morning. Actually, going by how damp the sheets of his little borrowed cot were, he sweated all night, too. He’d had a weird panicked moment where he thought he’d wet the bed, somehow. Sammy had still been passed out in the bed and Dean had laid there under the slow-turning fan and given himself five minutes to just be… miserable. As far as he can tell, Benson, Arizona, is the armpit of the world. Why couldn’t Dad have caught the hunt in November, or something.

Mrs. Gutierrez is kind of a hard-ass, but she knows about food. When Dean comes out of the bedroom she’d stashed them in, the hot little house already smells awesome, and she barely looks up from whatever she’s doing in her skillet, waves him to the table. He rubs at his eyes with the heel of both hands. He’s not used to these kind of hours in the summer. Ever since he turned sixteen and proved he could be trusted, Dad would take the opportunity of school being out to take him along on more hunts, the two of them running through the woods or watching through the dark of the warm nights or digging graves together, coming back to whatever motel or campsite where Sammy was waiting for them in the hours just before dawn, crashing down sore and feeling good about a job well done. He wants to be out there now. All this ridiculous heat would maybe be a little more bearable if he felt like he was doing something.

A plate clatters down in front of him and he jumps, opens his eyes. Mrs. Gutierrez raises her eyebrows at him and he says, “Thank you,” automatically, and then, “Um, I mean—gracias, ma’am.” She huffs and goes back to the stove. He completely can’t tell if she likes him or not. He’s guessing not.

That said—who cares, if she feeds them like this, holy crap. This will be their third day here, since Dad figured out where the boys were going missing and Mrs. Gutierrez offered to look after them while Dad and a few of the older guys went out looking, and like every single thing she's fed them has been amazing. This is—eggs, and pieces of tortilla, and some weird white cheese, and enough thick roasted-dark red sauce that he sweats even more, and he groans out loud.

“Respira, caballero,” Mrs. Gutierrez says, in a dry voice, and he opens his eyes again to find her leaning against the stove, cup of coffee rested on her plump belly.

He wipes his mouth of red sauce, tries to dredge up some manners. “This is really good,” he says. “Um, mucho bueno?”

“Muy bueno,” she says.

He nods. “Yeah, that,” he says, and she actually smiles a little, wow. Her face is weathered, deep lines around her eyes and mouth, and they’re deeper when she smiles. He scoops up another bite, and around a mouthful of just awesomely good, spicy eggs says, “What is it called?”

She frowns a little, and he sort of points his empty fork at the plate and makes an exaggerated confused face. “Ah. Chilaquiles.” He mouths the word, scooping up another bit of tortilla, and she says it slower for him. He knows his accent sucks, but he is kinda trying. Might as well, with them stuck here.

“Buenos días, señora,” Sam says, coming into the kitchen, and Dean rolls his eyes. Of course, Poindexter’s picking up the Spanish like a weird short sponge. “¿Cómo está usted?”

“Muy bien, mijo,” Mrs. Guitierrez says, and her smile goes wider for Sam. Dean’s really got to learn more Spanish. In short order, Sam’s installed with his own plate of—uh—

“Chilaquiles?” Sam says. “Awesome. Muchas gracias, señora.” Dean sighs. Sometimes Sammy’s such a kissass, and he doesn’t even know it. He turns pink when he gets his first really spicy mouthful, though, and Dean smirks at him as he starts to cough. He gets him a glass of water, too, but still. At least he’s still got something on his little brother.

They’re long days, out here. Mrs. Gutierrez lives far enough away from town that there’s no way Dean’s walking—he’d roast before he got more than a mile. Dad’s got the Impala, of course, and Mrs. Gutierrez loaned her ancient Ford to another one of the older Mexican guys who’d gone along to help. Dean’s got his and Sam’s duffels and they’ve got a shotgun each, not that Dean would be letting Sammy help if it came to a fight. He can’t waste ammo on shooting practice, though, and it’s too hot to try to get Sam to wrestle with him, and there’s nothing to do. Sam’s been reading, of course—he picked up the summer reading list from his last school and they kinda accidentally stole a bunch of library books when Dad abruptly took them out of Boise a few weeks ago. Dean’s been reduced to watching these really terrible Mexican soap operas in the kitchen with Mrs. Gutierrez when she does her embroidery in the afternoons. He can’t understand what anyone’s saying, but the acting’s so over-the-top that he sort of gets it. Right now he thinks Rogelio is sleeping with his brother’s wife, though it might just be someone’s secretary. Mrs. Gutierrez clucks her tongue disapprovingly when Rogelio starts making out with the lady, and shakes her head. “Es una bruja,” she says, and bites off a piece of thread. “Él va a perder su corazon, y luego su pinga.”

“She’s totally going to cheat on him, too,” Dean says. And—yep, whatshername smiles all sexy over Rogelio’s shoulder at the other dude, and he and Mrs. Gutierrez sigh at the same time.

The sun in the afternoon beats down endlessly. Sam says that next month it'll start raining really hard, which sounds like bull to Dean, but Sam insisted. He hopes to hell they're not here long enough that he learns if Sam was BSing or not. Right now he's sitting on the porch, under the broad tin-sheet awning, tossing pebbles out at a weird purplish prickly pear cactus about ten yards away. Mentally he's awarding himself five points every time he hits a pad, and subtracting two points when he starts to think that he might actually sweat himself to death. He's at around thirty-seven  when Mrs. Gutierrez comes out, fanning herself slowly with a magazine. "Hi," Dean says, and he sounds bored even to himself.

There aren't really chores to do. He would've offered to fix up her Ford, but obviously that ship sailed. They're all just waiting. Dad's been gone about five days now and he's not worried, of course not, because Dad's been gone way longer than this and he always comes home fine. A little beat up, sometimes, and sometimes Dean has to stitch up a few holes Dad managed to collect, but that's nothing to worry about. It's all part of the job. He taps his thumb against the rough wood of the bench, beating out a pattern, and it's a surprise when Mrs. Gutierrez  runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead, a weird kind of rough-gentle. "Venga," she says, when he's startled into looking up at her, and jerks her head back at the house. "Come," she says, in a thick accent, and disappears back into the dim of the house, the screen door clanking shut behind her.

Sam's still stretched out on the bed in their tiny room, reading something with his bare feet slowly waving in the air. In the kitchen, Mrs. Gutierrez surprises him by dropping an apron over his head. "Whoa, no," he says, but she turns him around by the shoulders and ties the string behind his back. It's got little chickens printed on it, Christ.

"Tenemos que limpiar," she says, and puts a dishcloth in his hands, and points him at where the lunch dishes are soaking. Well, okay. He guesses he needs to be earning his keep, fair enough. The apron seems like overkill, though. She starts chopping up peppers while he scrubs up, and then the little TV on the counter gets flicked on. "Rogelio va a morir," she says, giving Dean a significant look. "Dead. I bet you."

"Oh, you're on," Dean says. He's pretty sure Rogelio's going to kill Ana. She totally deserves it.

Dean's finished the dishes and is putting them into the rickety cupboards (Mrs. Gutierrez just points at the right cupboard for each one, because seriously, he's never going to learn the names of any of this stuff) when a van pulls up outside. He goes to the window immediately—but no, it's not Dad, or any of the other guys. Instead a bunch of ladies spill out, all somewhere within ten years of Mrs. Gutierrez's age. She goes out to greet them and there's a chorus of mostly-cheerful sounding Spanish, hugs and cheek-kisses exchanged.

Sam pops out of the bedroom, asks, "What's going on?" and Dean can only shrug. Sam looks at him more closely. "Dude, are those chickens?" he says, starting to grin, and Dean grabs him and gives him a swift noogie right then, because you gotta nip that shit in the bud right away. If anyone's making fun of anyone here, it's not going to go that direction. Sam yelps and drops his book, shoves at Dean's grip, and of course that's when Mrs. Gutierrez comes back in. Dean lets Sam go immediately, shoves his hands into the pocket on the apron. "Chicos," she says, kind of sharp, and Sam picks up his book, says, "Lo siento, señora," with an apologetically ducked head—and when she turns her head away gets Dean with one of those sharp little elbows right in the kidney. Dean manfully sucks in the grunt and thinks maybe he can get away with dumping water over Sam's head tomorrow morning. It'd count as trying to cool him off, surely.

The women have come with bags of food, and dishes, and one has a crock-pot of something that releases a stupid-good smell as soon as the lid comes off. Dean gets tasked with pulling the little kitchen table off the wall, so there's room to move around it, and the ladies start unpacking their bags. Sam watches, interested, until Mrs. Gutierrez shoos him back out into the bedroom. "¿Quién es el gringo?" one of the women says, nodding at Dean where he's stacking the chairs out of the way, and he hears Mrs. Gutierrez say, "Es el hijo del cazador," and he doesn't know why that makes the lady look at him with kind of sad eyes.

"Hi," one lady says, and smiles at Dean. She's maybe forty, a little silver in her hair, though not nearly as much as Mrs. Gutierrez has. "Dean, right?"

"Yeah," Dean says. She's pretty, in a mom way. He's acutely aware of his chicken apron. "And my little nerd brother in the other room is Sam."

"Elena says you're good boys," the lady says, and Dean doesn't know who she means for a minute, and then obviously looks surprised, because she laughs. "I guess you're probably a troublemaker most of the time, caballero."

The other women have been busy, setting up something all around the table, and Dean looks at that instead of looking at her. "Most of the time," he says, shrugging.

"My Francisco is the same way," she says, in a tone like she's telling him a secret. He hates it when teachers do that, like they're trying to pretend that they're his friend, but when he looks she's got this weird expression on her face, and he puts a few things together real quick. One of the older women puts a quick hand to her shoulder and she shakes her head, smiles at Dean. "We're going to make a dinner for when the hunters come back. Elena tells me that you have some things to learn in the kitchen."

"Cooking's not really my thing," Dean says.

The lady tugs on his apron. He is really starting to hate the stupid apron. "Cooking is everybody's thing," she says. "When you have mouths to feed."

He thinks back to mac and cheese with ketchup in it, Sammy trying not to complain, and—okay, so maybe she has a point.

It turns out they're making tamales, which Dean's heard of but hasn't ever seen before. He doesn't see how corn husks are going to be good to eat, but he figures if anyone can do it, Mrs. Gutierrez will. The women all form a circle around the table and go total assembly line: soaking the corn husks in warm water, unfolding, smearing the weird corn dough into the center, and then a spoon of the shredded meat from the crock pot (turkey, it turns out, when he sneaks a bite, and Mrs. Gutierrez thwacks him on the shoulder immediately), and then folding the neat little package, and tying with a string. Dean gets put on soaking duty, probably because it's the hardest thing to screw up. The lady who speaks English—Graciela, apparently—stands at his right side, and Mrs. Gutierrez at his left, and it's tight work around the little table with their elbows all jostling together, but it's kind of fun, too. He's good at following routines.

They're all talking in Spanish, but that's okay. He can't follow the words, but he can kinda catch the rhythm of it, just like watching the soap operas. His job is so easy that he barely even has to look at what he's doing, and so he watches the women, instead. There's five of them, including Mrs. Gutierrez, and Dean thinks back to when Dad was reading that newspaper article—five teenage boys missing in Southern Arizona, no leads, and how when Dad showed up at the first house the man hadn't even wanted to talk to him, had been drunk before noon sitting there on his porch. It had been the mother who'd stepped forward, started talking to Dad low and urgent, and Dean couldn't hear anything from where he was waiting in the car, but he saw the look on her face. She's the one who made the turkey and her face is drawn, there are dark circles beneath her eyes, but she's chatting, too, and smiles at something the woman next to her says. Not a big smile, but a smile. Dean doesn't know how she can do it.

"It's good to have a job to do," Graciela says, quiet. Dean hands her a softened husk and watches her spread the corn into it with deft, small hands. "When your dad hunts, you take care of your brother, yes?"

"Yeah," Dean says, and dips a new husk. "I mean, I go on hunts, too. I'm pretty good. I couldn't go on this one though, 'cause—um."

It's not like she doesn't know. He's just the right age to be taken, by whatever's doing the taking. Graciela says something he can't quite hear, and Mrs. Gutierrez jostles his elbow, catches his attention. They've filled four great big steam baskets, one right after the other, and it's now like a million degrees in here since the first batch has been cooking. She brings him over and lifts the lid on the basket—thick gouts of steam plume up but she just ignores it, even though she's sweating too now. She plucks out one of the neat little packages with her bare hand, apparently made of asbestos, and then puts it on a plate and hands it to him.

"For me?" he says, holding it in both hands. He glances at Graciela, who's wearing half a smile. "I thought we were making dinner for when the guys get back. Shouldn't we save it?"

Graciela leans her hip on the table. Sweat has gathered at her temple, has darkened her pink dress. "Mijo, the men will get their share," she says. She nods at the little corn package on his plate. "Something you need to learn: when you make the food, you take the first taste."

He looks at Mrs. Gutierrez, who nods at him, and he shrugs. He's not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth—or, uh, nice lady, either. It does smell awesome. "Sammy!" he calls, taking the plate with him, and Sam pops out of the bedroom immediately when Dean comes out into the tiny sitting room. He was probably sitting there moping about why he didn't get to sweat his butt off making dinner. "Come on, squirt, try a tamale. Wanna see if it's poisoned."

"Ha ha," Sam says, but he sits down next to Dean on the couch anyway. They poke at it together, and from the doorway Graciela says, "Open it up first, boys," in a soft voice, and oh, duh, and Dean snaps the string with his pocketknife and peels open the husk, and between them with careful fingers they take bites of the soft corn, saturated through with the spicy turkey, and holy crap is it good.

"Holy crap," Dean says, through his full mouth, and Sam nods, scooping up another bite almost immediately. "Hey, don't eat it all," Dean says, and Sam rolls his eyes but hands the plate back to Dean.

"You think you can figure out how to make these?" Sam says, licking his thumb clean.

Dean shoves at his shoulder, gentle so he just rocks a little. "What, you think I'm gonna be your personal chef, Sammy?"

"Yeah," Sam says, grinning at him. "Tamales and mac and cheese and 7-11 hot dogs, that'll be your menu."

Dean pushes Sam over onto the couch and takes the plate with its empty husk back into the kitchen. "Really good," he says, to Mrs. Gutierrez. "Um, mucho—no, muy bien."

"Muy bueno," she says, correcting him again, but her eyes are soft. She cups his cheek in her hand for a few seconds and he stands still under it, doesn't know why she's looking at him like he's a puppy—but then she takes the plate and puts it in the sink, and hands him the dishrag again, and he sighs. There's way more dishes now.

Dad and the few men who went with him come back two days later, with four of the five boys who'd gone missing. Dean wonders if Graciela's boy came back, or if he was the one left behind, but he doesn't want to ask. The tamales get distributed to all the houses and Dad even stays for an extra hour to eat his own share. "Pretty damn good," he says, smiling at Mrs. Gutierrez, and she puts a warm hand on Dean's shoulder and smiles back. Dean does do a quick tune-up her old Ford, while Dad finishes up eating and washes up a little, because he owes her. Rogelio did end up getting killed by Ana, and Dean said a few choice words that Mrs. Gutierrez understood even through the language barrier and got smacked upside the head for it. Sammy had a good laugh over that one.

"Ready to go, kid?" Dad says, behind him.

Dean finishes locking the carburetor cap into place and drops the hood on the truck. Nine o'clock at night and it's still hot as hell out here. He nods at Dad, and Dad nods back and starts loading up the trunk with their bags. Dean goes back inside to grab Sammy, and Dad says one last thank you to Mrs. Gutierrez for looking after them. Always makes Dean feel like a little kid. Mrs. Gutierrez nods, says, "Adiós," and when Dad turns away she presses a heavy little package into Dean's hands, wrapped in a flimsy grocery bag, and kisses him once on the forehead. He has to work hard to hide his surprise. Then he's not all that surprised, when Dad gets them a motel outside of Kingman later that night and he finally gets a chance to open up the package, to find a tupperware, filled with eight perfect little tamales, and a tub of thick red sauce.

[passionesolja]

My thoughts on Astarion and The Deal

Spoilers for Act 2 so readmore if you wanna see em

So before you get into Shar’s Temple, you run into Raphael who offers y’all something in exchange for helping him. Astarion wants to know what the scars on his back mean, so we’re like “yeah we’ll kill this demon for you if you do that”

We get there and I’m like “fuck it let’s fight” only to realize that my team is not able to fight this dude. We have one cleric, two rogues, and a wizard. We is not fighting 10 demons and a big devil boss. I reload the save and try my favorite approach “talking and lying” and as this dude is describing how fuxked over he’s gotten by Raphael’s deal, I’m like “damn. Astarion, my mans, we do not need to fuxking with this Raphael guy” like up until this point I’ve been actually wanting to accept when the offer happens but Raphael is slimey.

And we end up fighting like 50 rats (one of the most difficult fights in the game btw lmao) and after we win and report back, Raphael’s grimey ass pops up and is like “I didn’t say in the deal that subcontractors were allowed” and sends this man to hell. My dawg you don’t have a paper contract you literally do all your contracts in music numbers.

So it falls through and Astarion gets all mad at me like I’m not letting him suck my blood every other mf night. He’s all angry at me and I’m like “chill dawg there’s other people out there who aren’t a slimey devil who will enslave you that can give you answers” and he’s like “fine”

At first I was like “Astarion, dawg, you getting mad at me for not letting you make an even worst decision” and then it hit me like Astarion just is dealing with 2 centuries of hell and trauma by Cazador that he isn’t able to see how fuxked he’d be if he did some shit with Raphael. He wants relief from whatever tf he be going through quick, even if that means doing some shit that will negatively impact him potentially even more. Now im like “I gotta make sure this man don’t do anything self destructive even though I know he gon hate me”

It’s crazy and the game doesn’t even explain that underlying reason to you, you just gotta read between the lines