#center jacob is my fave when we get him

[therealvinelle]

I love the Agatha Christie question!

Who are your HP/Twilight faves in the Christie universe? (Who’s the opportunist who knows too much and dies for it? Who’s the conman killer who courts the girl to avoid suspicion? Who’s just trying to take a holiday and gets caught-up in a murder? Who are the dynamic mystery-solving duo who realize they are in love by the end of the novel? etc.).

I mean, that is kind of what The Man Who Would Be King (and secret fic) (both cowritten with @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin) have already become. We have our murder victim, Alphard, a very rich man with a colorful family, and possibly his sister, we have our unlikely detectives in Voldemort, Lily Potter, and Alphard himself. It may not be the center of the story but it's a large part of it.

In other words my answer for Harry Potter would somehow spoil all my present and future fics so I won't.

As for the Twilight version...

I vote we do it wealthy dysfunctional family style, it's most natural.

A patriarch is poisoned

Carlisle Cullen, a very wealthy man with powerful enemies, nonetheless dear to those around him and blessed with more friends than most, is found dead in his office one morning. Cause of death? Murder.

The police, caught on the detail that Dr. Cullen was a vampire and vampires are real, what the fuck is this on the doctor's autopsy table and is he going to wake up again and drink all our blood?, are little use in the investigation. Scotland Yard is soon brought in, and using Chief Swan's connections with the family they get a better picture of Dr. Cullen's life.

His family wasn't looking to inherit him anytime soon, as he was immortal. None of them were having money troubles however, all were independently wealthy.

He had made enemies of a thousand-year-old clan of powerful vampires, who on hearing that his murder is being investigated like this get very upset. Supposedly the victim lived with them in his youth (and inspector Craddock cries when he learns the timeline for this murder goes back to the 1600s. Are they going to have to bring historians in on this murder??), he might have known something

Oh what's that? The victim had a whole network of friends across the globe, who are all killers, and he knew everyone's secrets? ... do we have the budget to investigate this?

The victim was also living next to a tribe of magical shapeshifting wolves evolved specifically to kill his kind. They liked him best and had a line in their treaty that "he dies last". Not sure what to do with this information

Rosalie Hale missing person case from 1933 solved: Carlisle Cullen adopted her. Was she recognised, did someone piece it together, and was Carlisle killed in retribution?

The victim lived a fake life of fake papers. Could be important, except it's the most normal thing about this case.

The police wonder how this man didn't get murdered sooner, and are stretched so thin the investigation is going slowly.

So, Renesmee gets to be our plucky detective du jour, as she decides to see if she can help. Surely there is no harm in her poking around, and she's well liked around the vampire world so there might be answers she can get that human police can't, partly because policemen keep getting eaten.

She slowly narrows it down to the horrible realization that it was someone in the family, and she learns terrible things.

Jasper Hale wasn't Jasper Hale at all! He was a friend of Jasper's in the newborn army who wanted a new life, and who in the wake of Jasper's suden and unexpected death assumed his identity. He had Peter bite his entire face so he'd be scarred like Jasper had been, and vouch for this blond vampire most definitely being Jasper Hale. Peter later had to die because he Knew Too Much, and so did Charlotte, regrettably. Fake Jasper did however not kill Carlisle.

Edward seems a prime suspect, he is an angry and resentful young man who acts out. Everyone thinks he did it, and that Bella should certainly marry Jacob, the safer option. Much upheaval is had, however, once Renesmee is able to clear Edward's name and he meaningfully links arms with Bella. They sail off into the sunset with their inheritance.

Rosalie is a beautiful, cold, intimidating woman, the femme fatale sort who's surely conniving. It's a bit of a mystery why she married that poor fool Emmett, but it's clear to all she doesn't love him. No clear motive from her, other than the money she would inherit, but she's just so suspicious. Her alibi is ambiguous, she claims she was with Esme and Emmett but what if Esme and Emmett are lying to protect their daughter and wife? Superintendent Battle wonders about that.

Renesmee is at a loss.

And then she realizes that it's not Rosalie who acts like she doesn't love Emmett, it's Emmett who acts like he doesn't love her! And Esme's grieving widow act is just that, it's an act!

Renesmee realizes that Emmett and Esme are lovers, and killed Carlisle together. Esme committed it while Emmett tricked Rosalie into giving her an alibi. Renesmee realizes this once she has a "But Rosalie couldn't have seen Esme from that angle!" moment.

The plan was too pin Rosalie for the murder, see her hanged, and then in due time the mourning widowers would marry, happily entitled to all the money they couldn't have touched if they'd divorced. Also Rosalie was Catholic so she wouldn't have agreed to a divorce.

The two lovers are confronted, and Esme pulls out a tiny pearl-studded gun from her shoe, says "We tried, my love. I regret nothing" before shooting first Emmett, then herself.

[hermit-frog]

I love how those lestat fans anons are so angered by Louis lmao LDPDL the power that you have! He makes them loose their mind over his beautiful existence. They cannot comprehend how enthralling and compelling he is as a character. And why their fave is at his feet and will always be.

I'm always laughing when lestat fans complain about Louis being whiny when he has legit reasons to be sad and complain about his life. But if we have to point out fingers at whiny people, Lestat is right there. Like this man is the definition of whiny and pathetic. His fans have to brass themselves because we're going to see more of this side of him in s3.

But like Jacob said "fuck Lestat". This abusive asshole of a man was never worthy of Louis and I'm glad Louis choose himself. Had their reunion in that shack and he said "it was nice seeing you but that's about it. I love my life as it is right now and I wouldn't change it for anyone. Adieu!✌️"

that was blatant bait, just wanted to share

Louis is such a complex and deeply layered character, idk how people can find him uninteresting. He is kind of silently gloomy, he likes to ponder, soak in his sadness and grief. He expresses it with anger (at others and himself). A very depressed vampire, love that closure he got for himself, growth✨ (ignoring the implication of that ending).

Lestat is a narcissistic drama queen. I find both characters interesting, but Louis is my fav while Lestat is on the bottom, he's (unintentionally) hilarious, but i just simply don't think about him (if i do, i either laugh or get mad), while i could discuss Louis for hours. I am biased, ik, but idc, i love him unconditionally. It's hard to hate bookStat because he's so stupid it's funny, showStat is also stupid af, but he pisses me off more, i will never get over how he treated both Louis and Claudia, what he did to them. I'm happy for Louis tho 💖

it's silly to have a one-sided beef with a fictional character, i appreciate what Lestat's character is portraying in the show, he's simply a tool to share a certain idea/message/story after all. my problem centers on the reception he gets. the double standards when it comes to Louis and Claudia, insane.

it would be so funny when we get to s3, and the “real” Lestat, from his own pov, is even worse lmao, he's such a clown. i mean, i was reading the books and i just, i can't even be mad because of the ridiculousness? 😂

oh hey Niki, why u crying lol anyway, i'm leaving today, going to trave. oh, about that, do you remember that fucked up scary ass vamp who had kidnapped and tortured you? yeah, the one who had released you literally just this morning ha ha... so, i'm leaving you with him and his minions, yeah those guys, i think it will be a nice experience for you. oh, no, don't cry! i know that you already miss me but i can't take you with me, i'll write you tho. oh, please stop the hysterics, it's not that serious, you will see me soon. very cute of you to cry because you love me so much btw :/ anyway, have fun, make new friends, i'm sure you'll have lots of great experiences ;) x

lestat had really listened to armand's backstory, and was like, hm, this marius guy, would love to meet and be friends with him. lmao 😭 and then rubs it in armand's face? i can't. there was a similar post, but i can't find it, i'll try to do something similar. so all this time you though marius was dead, crying yourself to sleep, wishing he'd save you, grieving him? yeah, so he's actually... doing great? yep, this whole time lol oh, and he came to me, like, immediately ha ha ha. we had so much fun. remember his secret he refused to share with you? no, no, he hadn't just told me, he took me to them! can you believe it, lmaaaao. and then i drank our mother's blood, mmm😏.... just made realize, since i am my mother's maker, it makes me her father and master😏...i will return to these thoughts later today, once i'm alone))) oh, yeah, so marius was like, if you tell anyone i'm going to kill everyone you love and then you. but then he was like, jk lol he even game a loving nickname, so silly. are you sure it's the same guy who had beat the living shit out of you over nothing? the one from whom you had to hide under some chick's bed? naaah, can't be him. he says i'm his favorite, which is ridiculous because we knew each other for days, ha ha ha

and with the body thief, jesus christ (talking about jesus christ😏yep), lestat. oh, so this random guy, who has been stalking me, who steals bodies (he said so himself, and even tried to steal mine without my consent lol), that everyone had warned me about, suggested to swap bodies for like a week, and he promised to give mine back, so nice of him. obviously i had accepted lol, but i think he might have tricked me??? like, he left me with nothing? but that wasn't sus tho. but he haven't shoved up to switch our bodies back, so weird, really didn't expect this :/ anyway, pissing sucks, and i really want to fuck that old man david, oh and for some reason my brain has connected him to claudia??? yea, but i wanna hit real bad (to be fair lestat wants to bang everyone)

i have a new daughter now, she's married to my clone btw ;)

the core of all the vamps, the spirit Amel: *looks and acts just like Lestat* Lestat: i want you so bad🥵

normal person: Hello, my name is -. lestat: I’m the vampire Lestat. I’m six feet tall, have blue-gray eyes that sometimes appear violet, and a lean athletic build. My hair is blond and thick and hangs to my shoulders, and over the years it has become lighter so that at times it seems pure white. My face is square, my mouth full and sensual, my nose insignificant, and I am perhaps one of the most conventional looking of the Undead you’ll ever see. Almost all vampires are beautiful. They are picked for their beauty. But I have the boring appeal of a Matinee Idol-

you can't make this shit up, those books were a trip

[orionlancasterr]

Oc interview

I was tagged by @adelaidedrubman !

Judas King and Mary Hart agreed to sit down with Lauren Westfield for a couple preemptive interviews with her podcast and YouTube series, Case Files.

name 

“Judas- oh you probably want the full thing, um, Judas King.”

nickname

“The Chosen One, Wrath, Sinner- I think Jacob called me the executioner once…”

Upon seeing Laurens growing discomfort Judas trails off, his face growing red

“Sorry that’s not what you meant. No I don’t really have any, Judas doesn’t really lend itself to nicknames. Skunk tried Jude once but it didn’t feel right.”

gender

“Male, mostly.”

star sign

“Aquarius I think? Mary talks about it a lot.

personality type

“I dont want to be a dick but I don’t really know what this has to do with Edens gate..”

Laura frowns a little, scratching at the back of her head. “We just want to get to know you a little better before we y’know get into the juicy stuff.”

“Oh right, you’re just gonna have to bear with me on some of these, my um, my whole world has been about this stuff uncensored for like five years.”

“Right, of course!” Lauren gives a sort of forced laugh.

height

“5’5 I think, they measured at the last doctors appointment.”

orientation:

“I’ve mostly been using gay but I’ve been reading a lot online and I think I like queer more- I don’t like specific labels.”

nationality/ethnicity:

“American, obviously but I think French? I have a second cousin twice removed something or other that lives over there but I’m not really sure.”

fave fruit 

“I love oranges- more than anyone should and I had one for the first time in years the other day and I gotta say even the best batch of bliss couldn’t beat that shit.”

Lauren, while still uncomfortable makes no move to change the subject this time.

fave season

“Early fall-late summer. The rain brings a chill and I think the mountains are best when it’s wet out.”

fave flower 

“I think bindweed flowers are really cute, unfortunely bindweed sucks.”

fave scent 

“There is this polish I use the interior of cars, mothers, it’s like a plastic restorer anyways that shit smells so good.”

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: 

“I didn’t like coffee or tea for a while but I’ve recently gotten into iced coffee, I like caramel iced lattes apparently.”

average hours of sleep: 

“Good nights, 5-6 but I can easily go a night or two without sleeping. Night terrors. But the guys say I still flail around and shit on the good ones.”

Judas chuckled at this one.

dog or cat person

“Bears. I volunteered at a wildlife rehab center before the reapings and we had this bear, cheeseburger, a big old boy who was found by one of the senior members found him shoving trash in his face behind Chad’s old place. Burgers, fries, onion rings you name it Cheeseburger ate it. So he took him in anyways after everything went down Wade radioed in saying he had to release him because the Jacob wanted to experiment so I tracked him down. Found out he was diabetic and needed insulin so we became buddies. He’s in Yellowstone Wildlife Sanctuary now and I visit him every few days.”

It’s at this point Judas pulls out a phone and starts showing the staff pictures of a severely obese grizzly bear wearing a collar, at which they coo and awe. In newer photos he has lost a considerable amount weight.

dream trip 

“Climb every mountain range in North America. I met a guy when I was a kid on a hike that did that, his name was trinket and he was like 70 years old climbing the continental divide in colorado. Said he sold everything a few years ago to fund his mission. I’d like to start in the south, Saturn says the Appalachians are pretty.”

“I don’t want to assume anything but wouldn’t you be sick of mountains at this point I mean…after everything that happened in the whitetails?”

Judas laughs. “It’s not the mountains fault some lunatic decided to murder and maim a bunch of people.”

favorite fictional/real character

“Optimus Prime, they made like three more transformers movies and I made everyone promise to watch them with me when we get home.”

number of blankets you sleep with? 

“I have a weighted blanket and, okay don’t make fun of me, my baby blanket under that. It’s basically like a two foot square of worn out fabric at this point but we found it in the house after. Um. After.”

It’s at this point Judas begins to look upset for the first time during the interview. Lauren quickly asks the next question.

random fact:

“I thought it would be fun to teach boomer how to launch himself off my back but now he does it at random. It hurts, I’m sorry it’s been nice do you mind if I um. If I go sit outside for a little bit?”

“Of course not, take your time.”

————

name 

“Marilyn Ellen Hart, please don’t call me Marilyn.”

nickname

“Mary, it’s the preferred name.”

She smiles charmingly, directly at the camera.

gender

“Female.”

star sign

“Aries sun, Capricorn moon and Sagittarius rising. This should be a shock to no one.”

This draws a laugh out Lauren.

personality type

“ENFP, crowds really get me going, I love talking to people. It’s why I love playing shows. Yeah sure the music is the thing that keeps me going after everything but the people make me feel alive.”

height

“Five feet two inches exactly. I got my drivers licence a few days ago. It’s crazy how many rules there are to driving in the real world. Skunk and Nick had two rules. Don’t hit anyone and stay on the pavement.”

Another laugh bubbles out of the staff and is met with a brilliant smile from Mary.

orientation:

“Lesbian but Judas and Daisy keep reading articles too me and maybe I’m also asexual. I haven’t decided yet.”

nationality/ethnicity:

“Raised in America but I was adopted from Ukraine.”

fave fruit 

“Strawberries. Like good fresh sweet ones. The ones from the store aren’t nearly as good.”

fave season

“Summer. Hot, sunny days, as dry and bright as possible.”

fave flower 

“Daisy”

She winks at the camera

fave scent 

“BBQ, I love a good vinegar based sauce.”

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: 

“Saturn got me hooked on sweet iced tea.”

average hours of sleep: 

“Recently I’ve been getting full nights sleep without smoking now that’s wild to me.”

dog or cat person

“Does peaches count as a cat?”

She looks past the camera and grins at someone. Laura asks who peaches is.

“Peaches, my dear, is this badass cougar we found eating so- I’m not allowed to say that am I? We found her in the Henbane.  Her owner just. Handed her to us, a trio of eighteen year old kids. She’s the sweetest thing…most of the time. She’s at Yellowstone with Cheeseburger. Apparently they tried to separate them but I imagine it didn’t go well because they were together again within like two days.”

Dream trip

“The ocean, we’re driving down California in a few weeks and I made them promise to take me to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium.”

favorite fictional/real character

“Misa Amane, from death note. I was obsessed with her in middle school.”

number of blankets you sleep with? 

“Whatever is in the back of the van. Usually a throw and Judas’s weighted blanket.”

random fact:

“I had to learn how to whittle my own sticks because the ones we’d scavenge kept snapping on me. I still use my own at shows.”

I’ll tag @vault81 @bleumanouche @chaosintheavenue and anyone who wants to!

[sungbeam]

hi beam :33 i am here to shower you with love!!

1. i feel like i have so much fave fics from you, particularly the love in unity series but i do think party people and off the record hold special places in my heart <3 i remember when i first read off the record </3 like i feel like i dont express it ENOUGH but it was around the time i was very disconnected from tbz... and somehow ur fic really just PUSHED ME to write and post... and after that, reading party people really just reassured me that yea deobiblr is back!! going back to tbz is what i need to do!!!

6. kind of transitioning to this, i remember vividly reading ur fic in a starbucks because i was waiting for grentperez's concert here and literally my friend was just watching me REACT TO THE FIRST PART. i was literally telling her "oh mygod i am BACK IN DEOBILAND" BECAUSE IT WAS SO GOOD?!??!?! I FEEL LIKE IT WAS JUST A REMINDER OF MY BIGGER DEOBI DAYS U KNOW and im back stronger than ever

8. i just love ur plots in general. im very much a big fan of just not romance-centered media in general and i really love all the details you put into ur fics esp with the reader and the boyz themselves!!! like for me, it means so much that they have their own arcs/stories!! esp as a big fan of slow burn and just character development I LOVE IT!!!

11. i am hoping for some more jacob fics.... HELP i am just so crazy in my jacob delusions and i know i dont need to ask for more jichang ones bc i rest easy knowing u and i are the biggest kyubodans

13. i talk abt u and ur works so much to my besties actually :') my besties are big caratdeobis so i always recommend ur works to them

i love you beam! you always inspire me tbh :') so glad i got to know you and i am always rooting for u!!! so excited for what else you have in store for us

moni, my lovely, thank u so much for your words, both here and in prose <3

raaaaah !!! it always means so much to me to hear that i was able to inspire u out of ur writing slump :')) i def know how that feels,,, getting into the boyz and p1h was what got /me/ out of my writing slump and i somehow whipped up party people 💀 im just really happy that i was able to find more of deobiblr or maybe even inspire deobis to come out from hibernation w that fic skfnkenfkf

LOL starbucks is like my writing place half the time istg 😭😭😭 omg you reading otr in a starbucks makes me so skcnkrnf im like jumping around in excitement cuz idek !! and pls (´Д⊂ヽ im crying im really really happy that my fics could haul you back to deobiblr cuz we wouldn't be the same without you 🫂 and thank u for always reccing my stuff to friends !! it means the absolute world to me, i get do tender-feeling :'))

and pls, ik u of all people would def appreciate the non-romantic arcs !! i really do enjoy creating and developing friendships and outside relationships—it just adds an extra layer to the fic besides just the romance itself 🤧 and omg i promise i'll get more cobie content out >< the other day i was thinking of posting drabbles of this one au i had written for him, so whenever i don't have a new fic to post, you'll def see it 😎

i love you moni, thank u again for all ur support and love 💖

[baejoonyoung2]

jacob ; breaking dawn mv

[coykoii]

Hiii!! :D I’ve been thinking about a certain question circling around my brain and I have to talk to you about it, I thought the ask box would be a nice format for it!

I’d looooove to hear your thoughts about favorite characters from most —> to least and why! I feel like i’ve heard SO many mixed thoughts about literally each and every one of them (like how the fandom is divided in 2 parts, one being - Ryan has no personality, and then the other worshipping the ground he walks on) so it’s really intriguing to hear all about it, especially coming from a writer that does a hell of a good job writing them! <3

hiii lovely!! <33 the ways in which I love to rank things??? So thank you so much for asking me this!! Altho I am quite JUDGY help xxx also I’m just gonna do the counselors lest I end up w all the hacketts at the bottom bar Travis 🤭

9. Jacob

Tbf I don’t dislike any of them! I just like Jacob the least, mainly because if it weren’t for him, everyone would be on their merry way home xxx also his infatuation with Emma just isn’t it for me! his personality also feels v two dimensional aside from a few times near the end or if he turns? but I’ll blame the writers for that TY!! arrogant + desperate + self centered = number 9 for me x

8. Abigail

Honestly I hate to put her this low because she’s just like me 💀 I love that she loves to draw and that she’s artistic and shy but again very two dimensional! Also why is she only in like half the game, I would’ve loved to see more of my girl! It’s like her main point was to develop that romance with Nick and as soon as he’s gone, she’s just a background character? Rude. Give me a reason to care more about these characters, please and ty x

7. Nick

Controversial opinion maybe but I don’t hate Nick! In fact he was my fave until he disappeared on us for half the game 😭 maybe I’m just a sucker for the sweet athletic nerds who can cook? Help. He turned into quite the dick when bitten but i think that goes to show what exactly his insecurities are? Joking about getting all the ladies but then with Abi, it showed how much he hoped that she liked him because he really liked her too and the werewolf bite took that hope and made it negative and aggressive. But aside from that, we barely got anything from him other than the romance and being the poor soul who got cut out too soon XX (the fics of him however are godtier at giving me everything i needed)

6. Max

There is something so endearing about Max! I love that he’s so intuitive and funny with his dry (and sometimes confused) tone xxx also him and Laura have such a healthy relationship, even when they were trapped in the jail cell?? Things I love to see!! Protective, loving, nervous about his future bc he was rejected from college? There’s a personality there! Honestly it just sucked that we saw so little of him :/ give us more max, and not just as a rampaging werewolf trying to kill emma xxxx

5. Ryan

Ryan falling in the middle so true! Every game needs a brooding loner tbh and I think that he definitely has more personality than most of these characters! I like his monotone, I like his one liners, I like that his ass has quite the bank account xxx sometimes he did annoy me though! like him seeing the ww out the window of the radio hut and literally saying nothing? his refusal to be open minded when they were talking to Laura about Chris? sir. he redeemed himself by the end for me though, thank u! now stop playing hard to get and give dylan your phone number—

4. Emma

Emma is honestly so fun for me! I like her snark and her influencer habits amidst a horror game are very entertaining 💀 not to mention how many times she’s been chased and nearly killed during this game? she’s a survivor thank you! her friendship with Abi is sweet and I think they balance each other out really well (aside from the obvious part where she was a bit of an ass for kissing Nick, even if it was some backhanded scheme in her head). she’s smart and doesn’t like seeing people sad (unless ur Jacob so sorry to you) so she’s a winner in my book 😌

3. Laura

Laura being in the top three as she should!! Do love how capable she is of anything that she wants to do. She’s very much a shoot first, ask questions later kinda gal but it’s out of love for her bf and tiredness of being caught up in this shit xxx very smart, very resourceful. plus her wanting to be a vet is so good to me specifically. her and max calling each other honey also gives a big boost of serotonin! all in all, love her, would marry her if she wasn’t taken ty!

2. Kaitlyn

My GIRL. My 5’1 fave xxx Kaitlyn honestly has a dad joke sense of humor and I live for it even if I have to look away 💀 but also she’s so??? good at everything????? ma’am spare some of those shooting and mechanical skills for the rest of your friends bc it felt like she was the only one who knew how to properly do anything. very hot to me as well, not the point but also the point. i like her take charge attitude and i like that she would jump out of a car that’s like 20 feet in the air to save her ass from a werewolf 😌 her and dylan are also the best of friends, I don’t make the rules?? like why not have Ryan kiss them both bc I would xxx final girl so true of her!

1. Dylan

Dylan ‘herd of bears? yeah I’ve heard of bears’ Lenivy as number one, who’s SHOCKED. He’s the most well developed out of all the characters with the most personality and has made me laugh out loud at the dumbest things xxx his dry humor + sarcasm + protectiveness + cleverness with the duality of also doing dumb shit? pure 10/10. I like how seeing both versions of Dylan, the one who got his hand chopped off and the one who remained bitten, didn’t change how much I liked him as a character. Hilarious that i didn’t like him in the beginning of the first playthrough like you fool xxx anyway love him, hope that he’s happy and living his best life and sharing earbuds with Ryan on their way home 😌

[birdy-lady]

thank you for asking, bc i have many thoughts about glee s4—i feel like it has some of the best and worst parts of glee? like im so glad rachel moves to ny, because there's like finally air in the room for tina, blaine, brittany etc, and i even enjoyed a lot of the finn arc (everything minus the shit with emma because anything involving will and emma i find so extremely unworthy of airtime. will could have never returned and this show would have been better for it.) (1/5)

and while i remember being like a huge britanna shipper as a sporadic, casual viewer, i genuinely believe that brit and sam are one of glee’s best pairings? like ive already expressed that i like sam way more than i expected, but he is like peak himbo and im so sad i didn’t notice before. truly tho, brittany is the best glee character imo. (2/5)

and BLAINE. BLAINE! so excited to see blaine in plots that aren’t entirely centered around kurt! (i like klaine, but up until this point blaine’s entire presence has just felt like an extension of kurt and im glad the show has progressed.) he is amazing, his friendship with sam is adorable, him and tina have such a ridiculous and perfect friendship, and he is not the new rachel, he is so much fucking better than rachel. (3/5)

i think most of the new characters introduced were meh but kitty and jake grew on me. most of the ny/nyada stuff was also meh—who thought vogue/com was a good plot line? brody was like average, but glee’s take on sex work was truly the last thing this world needed. i have many many thoughts about santana and quinn hooking up, but it mostly boils down to: quinn should have been written as queer, the writers are cowards, and i am so uninterested in straight college girls experimenting plots. (4/5)

and finally: the catfishing plot is garbage. (5/5)

as a postscript, thank you for letting me vent about glee. my roommates have stopped listening.

ok ok ok i don’t even know where to begin because YOU’VE MADE SOME POINTS!!!

i think i have to agree about the fact that s4 has the best and the worst. tbh it remains my least favourite season but i do like the fact that we got see others shine and it has some of the best performances? and girls (and boys) on film is a top tier episode in my opinion (every performance in that episode is excellent)

sam and brittany did have some very sweet moments together i have to agree! the fact that sam has been with almost everyone in the show (quinn, santana, mercedes, brittany, tina, rachel) and somehow it worked (except santana) that’s honestly impressive. also kurt and blaine’s crushes on sam were also very valid and believable.

BLAINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MY FAVOURITEEEEEEE i’m so glad that you’re excited about his plot in s4. i feel like the [redacted] storyline overshadowed everything else in the season and i hate it because it was so OOC (also it’s something that 90% of the characters has done at some point in the show but with blaine it just gets overblown and i don’t like it) and you’re right it’s fun to see him as a character instead of an extension of kurt. and like i know a lot of people don’t like blaine as much in the later seasons and in some ways i agree that the writers did him dirty but i also think it sucks that people thought he got ruined when he started showing more vulnerability you know? idk like my opinions on every glee characters change all the time except for blaine i will love and defend him til the day I DIE. and true blaine is his own person he’s not the new rachel. also i have mixed feelings about his friendship with tina jabkdf like it was very sweet but then they did tina so dirty with the vapo scene. and yeah his friendship with sam? love it. the way sam was there for him after his breakup with kurt, the way blaine helped him with his body image issues. and i thought his crush on sam was really realistic and i like how sam reacted to it. he’s a good egg.

about the new characters i don’t wanna be rude but in my opinion that’s why s4 isn’t my fave? i never grew attached to them and i don’t think it was a good idea to make them the new quinn, rachel, finn, etc. the newbies in s6 are superior. and it’s weird because i really don’t like kitty (the thing she did to marley is unforgivable for me) but i remember kinda liking her near the end of s4 but i think it’s just because she’s the only one who really had a full arc in s4. jake i’m indifferent about him but i love his voice and he dances very well. jacob artist deserved better lmao

and yeah the catfishing plot if garbage, kitty making marley have an eating disorder is garbage.... what else is garbage in that season i know for sure there’s more jsbfnkgndg

and pls THANK YOU for venting to me about glee ajhbfsdkg i love hearing your thoughts and as you can see i also love to vent about it judging by the lenght of this reply. pls feel free to keep sending me your thoughts if you continue watching the show ajdhbsdkfj

[cleftmomph]

Cleftmom confessions: Things ive learned that I wish I knew before. A list from a mom of special kids❤️ I actually dont know how to address this list, I think I've realized these because I have 2 kids with "special" needs. But it may also apply to moms in general, Im sure all of us will have one or two of these thoughts or circumstances in our crazzzy momma life☺️ 📌I am not INVINCIBLE I need God. I am nothing - this is not because Im bring myself down, but because I am humbling myself. Im surrendering. I am nothing in this world compared to His greatness. Given how well nourished, well educated, or how powerful, how big your house is, you are nothing without God. YOU NEED HIM. Crazy as it may sound but with all the fear I felt, the next thing I realized/felt was this. I was HUMBLED. I know He's caliing me. I was reminded of how great he is and who am I in this world. This is why 2 COR 12:9 is one of my fave verses: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me 📌Take one day at a time I know you have so much to give, but I also know theres only so much you can take. We have limits, we are mortals, remember? If you will look past your now, sometimes it gives you serenity. Skipping the harder days, the surgeries etc. The power of hope. But in your darker days, when its just hard to find aomething to make you move forward, remember you have now, and what you do today, now, is what matters. Enjoy it, days goes by faster than you think. With all the hustle and bustle of this generation, sometimes its hard to remember this. But until your child hits another milestone, you wont stop to enjoy life and savor that moment with your kid. You will realize that they're growing too fast and there's that pinch making you ask "why so fast?". And then there's this joy, the assurance that they are doing well coz they're hitting those milestones just in time, sometimes a lil early, sometimes a lil late, but what the heck, they DID and that's what matters. Savor the moment🙂 📌Cliché as it may sounds: things will get better This!!! This cliche was pressed on me numerous times already. This is proven. I want to say by me, but well... i'd be lying, and you know it coz you've been there, done that😂 When reassuring new cleft parents I always say this line, which maybe doesn't help much hehe (but I know they'll realize one day that it's true😎). It's just hard to look beyond the firsts, beyond the uncertainty specially if the mom has not yet delivered. I totally understand that (i've bern there, didn't believed this line as well😂😂😂). But the most recent encounter with this lesson was because of our Jacob. I still get hotheaded while on our review sessions (di po ako ipokrita 😂), but he makes me more proud because of that. Because as I always say, he tries, he tries his best! Before, during his exams week, review sessions would be after school till bedtime and it wasn't even enough parin --- That's with prior review sessions pa. Before he cant even read a story book, it would take us an hour or two to finish those short stories. Before during exams He wont have time to do his kumon booklets anymore. But he did improved. He did better in reading books, he's good in math, he gets perfect scores in exams. Recently was his summative exam, he was able to finish reviewing all his subject before exam week started. so it was just a quick review for him during exam week. I felt how positive he is, how confident he is now specially in math and reading. I felt how happy he was that he could still do other things after reviewing. Things got better for me, but more for Jacob.❤️ 📌Downing moments are vital You wont have glorious days without your gloomy days. They make your success more sweet. If you let them eat you whole, you'll lose. Don't let trials win, empower your will to get back on your feet. Some days are harder, but that's what make you tougher. 📌You have to be worry sometimes ...So you wont put your guard down. 📌You need Two words:CLEFT TEAM If it would be possible go to them. NCF / PBM. Period! Google will help you with what a legit cleft team consists of💪🏼 📌This prayer help me calm myself❤️ I want to share it with you because in times my heart is in trouble, And I would say this prayer I would instantly feel calm. So much betteeeer❤️ The serenity prayer God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world As it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right If I surrender to His Will; So that I may be reasonably happy in this life And supremely happy with Him Forever and ever in the next. Amen. 📌God's plans for you is bigger Learning about Gabbie's cleft hit me hard. I comfort myself knowing that God has His plans and He definitely know better. It's really hard to know what it is, its hard to foresee but He asked me to have faith, Even as small as the mustard seed. I know my faith is far bigger than a mustard seed, because you know what, never as in NEVER He has forsaken me! JER 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Prov 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 📌Go with your instinct Mother knows best. Also, this means you are the one responsible for your parenting style. Don't let others pressure you into a parenting style that is not YOU. You be the kind of mother YOU want to be, not the society, your doctor, your priests, you family ask you to be. You are the only person who knows what's best for your child😉 listen to their opinion or advice, pick what suits you, junk what's not and move on. Don't let them and their side comments affect you inside. 😉 📌Google will bring you horror, dont let it. Use it to your advantage. I will be honest, researching made me anxious. By the time we discovered Gabbie's a cleftie we only have around 8weeks to prepare for her special needs. I havent joined any support group, i tried searching but didnt found one (till gabbie was 2months old ata) so I have no clue what's the best kind of surgeon to go to, what will she need etc. google would redirect me to cases from across the globe, Mostly US, many patients in the US had over 10 surgeries, so yes, that scared me. Ear tubes, yup they did scare me - alot!!! Repeated palatoplasty? Complications per age, complications during surgery.... hell yes!! Speech problems?! Heart problems and syndromes!????! Like whaaaaatttt!!! I want to give birth already just to find out if she has any of it!!! But the internet provided me a vital information for our cleft journey - name of our surgeon. Dr. Glenda De Villa ❤️ learned what bottles we need, what to look out for, that yessss, I could breastfeed!!!🙂 the internet also provided the criteria of a CLEFT TEAM/CLEFT CENTER, and Dr. De Villa's team is a SURE WIN!💪🏼 📌You have to love your doctor. Trusting your surgeon is vital. After meeting her, my worries just fluffed their way out of my chest. She's an inspiration. She's also the one who told us about NCF. If not for her and our trust to her, our family won't have the privilege of knowing those who are behind NCF and their patients ☺️ 📌You are not alone I repeat. YOU.ARE.NOT.ALONE I treat my co-cleft moms and dads as my family. No one could understand me than someone who's going Through a journey like us. Yes, our families and friends are backing us up, they're always there. Always. But the STRUGGLE IS REAL! Haha there are certain things no one could relate to unless they have a "special" child. Noordhoff Craniofacial Foundation patients have a support grp - https://www.facebook.com/groups/IbahagiAngNgiti/ And https://www.facebook.com/groups/CleftSupportGroupPH/ is open to all clefties and their families 🙂 📌Be thankful. You are blessed. I always say God gives the hardest battles to His bravest soldiers. Wonder where our cleftstrong babies got their strength and spirit? Its from US, their parents. I was also in doubt at first😁 God chose us for a purpose. Be proud of the privilege and responsibility that God entrusted us🙂 1 thess 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Stop self blaming. Dont be too hard on yourself. Stop asking yourself if you did something wrong during your pregnancy. Accept that you too have shortcomings, and that's ok. Your kids still love you just the same because you are morethan ENOUGH!❤️ *list to be updated, usually in the wee hours of the morning I cant sleep.😂

[strlghts-blog]

the sun can't compare to you (James x MC)

Summary: A rework (that I’ve been meaning to post for the longest time, but life ya know?) of Chapter Thirteen: California Dreamin’ feat. a west coast food fave. Hope you enjoy reading!

—

James’ hand is warm as it rests on your knee, the pad of his thumb idly drawing circles on the exposed skin. You’re on your phone, typing out a message to Zack, telling him that you’ve met up with James and you’re doing okay.

More than okay, in fact, you want to say, because you’re practically bursting at the seams with happiness. But you don’t want to gush too much, so you keep your text short and sweet. Though, you can’t help but add a few extra smiley face emojis before hitting send.

As soon as you finish, you drop your phone into your purse and turn to your boyfriend, a smirk on your face.

“I must say, interesting choice of venue,” you tease, poking a finger into his side. After a sweet reunion at the airport – which involved you attacking James in a bear hug when you caught sight of him, but was interrupted moments later by an embarrassingly loud growl from your stomach – the two of you decided to grab some food. Where, thirty minutes later, you’re sitting in the passenger seat of James’ car at In-N-Out’s drive thru.

James squirms in his seat and glares at you, but there’s no heat behind it. His hand on your knee reaches up to tuck a few wayward strands of hair behind your ear. “Got any better ideas?” He says playfully.

Your smirk deepens and you shake your head. “Nope,” you say, popping the “p.”

He simply rolls his eyes at you and unable to help yourself, you stretch over the center console to plant a kiss on his cheek, but he turns his face at the last second, so you catch his lips instead.

The kiss is unbelievably sweet; his lips soft and pliant under yours. You feel his hand slowly slide up the length of your thigh, the material of your skirt bunching up at your hips. Your breath hitches in your throat when his fingers toy with the edge of your panties and you feel heat begin to pool in your lower belly. Right when you’re about to deepen the kiss, the sound of a car horn blares from behind you. Startled, the two of you break apart, dazed. James is the first to recover, and he quickly shifts the car back into drive and eases it forward.

“Tease,” you mutter under your breath, whilst rearranging your skirt back into place.

Smiling cheekily at you in response, James leans over to press a kiss to your temple before whispering in your ear, “To be continued.”

His promise makes you shiver, in spite of yourself.

He pulls away from you then, and you catch sight of his self-satisfied smile and eyes alight with mischief, before he turns to roll down his window, just as a worker approaches, tablet in hand. You narrow your eyes at the back of his head.

The worker, a young man, smiles and says cheerily, “Hi, I’m Jacob and welcome to In-N-Out! What can I get for you two today?”

Your eyes widen in panic when you realize that you haven’t looked at the menu yet. But before you can say anything, James begins listing off your orders.

“Hey, can I get two Double-Doubles both with grilled onions, two Animal Fries, and two Neapolitan milkshakes, please?”

“Sure,” Jacob says, fingers flying over the screen of his device. “Anything else?”

“That should be it.”

He repeats the order then, and after James nods an affirmative, Jacob says the final price before wishing the two of you a “good one” and walking away.

You tell James lightly, “You know, you’re lucky I’m not a picky eater.”

He looks at you, expression sheepish. “Ah, I did some research before and the general consensus was that those are the things a first-timer must try here.” His brows pull together, suddenly unsure. “I can change the order as soon as we get to the window. I’m sorry, I should’ve asked you first–.”

You interrupt him by covering his hand on the stick shift with yours. “Don’t worry about it, I don’t mind,” you say, laughing. “Thank you.”

Relieved and cheeks tinged a light pink, James shoots you a smile and tangles your fingers together.

***

Eventually, the two of you pull back onto the main road, the smell of greasy fast food permeating the interior of the car. Your mouth waters as you peer inside the pair of paper bags sitting on your lap, everything looking so delicious. You pick up your milkshake to take an experimental sip and moan when the flavor hits your tongue. James mimics you and he hums in pleasure.

“Where to next?” You ask.

“I was going to suggest my apartment, but it’s so perfect out and the beach isn’t too far from here. I have a blanket in the trunk – we could have a little picnic and watch the sunset. You up for it?”

You nod, excited. “That sounds perfect. Let’s go!”

***

Fifteen minutes later, James lets out a groan of frustration. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this traffic – we’ve barely moved an inch! How can it take so long just to get to a destination that’s literally a mile away?”

He pouts and slumps in his seat, and you have to restrain yourself from giggling because the sight of him is just too cute – so you pat his knee comfortingly instead. He catches your hand and raises it to his lips for a kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs, looking at you. “I know you’re starving. You should eat your food before it gets cold– er, colder.”

Smiling, you shake your head at him. “Don’t worry about it, I can wait a little longer. Besides, this is your first time eating In-N-Out, too. We’re in this together – from the very first bite to the last,” you say, voice serious.

James chuckles and pokes your side, just as you did to him earlier. “Silly girl.”

Except, unlike James, you’re extremely sensitive in that area so you yelp and jerk back, banging the back of your head against the window with a loud thunk. You hiss in pain, cursing. Next to you, James bursts out laughing.

Rubbing the tender area, you narrow your eyes at him, at his body shaking with the force of his laughter. You’re able to maintain your glare for a few more seconds but then your lips twitch, and soon you’re laughing along with him.

He slaps a hand over his mouth in a vain attempt to quiet himself. Tears leak from the corners of his eyes, and in between the spaces of his fingers, you see his smile is stretched wide. His amusement is infectious, and despite the painful cramps from your stomach and the ache in your cheeks, you crack up even more.

Eventually, your laughter dissolves into a fit of coughs as you both try to catch your breaths. “I’m really sorry about that – it’s just, the sound you made when–,” he breaks off snickering, but then composes himself. “Are you okay?”

When you look into his eyes, they are bright and filled with mirth, but also hold a touch of concern for your wellbeing.

Your heart soars at seeing him so carefree and light, even if it may have been at your own expense. You find that you don’t mind one bit.

You roll your eyes at him. “I’ll live,” you respond, grinning.

He chuckles and shakes his head fondly at you. Outside the windshield, you see the car ahead of you finally move forward. James notices too, and eases up on the break pedal, focusing his attention back on the road.

As he drives, he points to different buildings, sharing with you tidbits of its history. Truthfully, you’re only half-listening, nodding and humming at all the right parts, but you’re a little distracted as you stare unabashedly at his profile bathed in the California sun – committing his bright brown eyes, soft smile, and glowing complexion all to memory. Biting your lip, you feel both giddy and unbelievably lucky that you – and only you – are able to bear witness to this private moment.

With that in mind, you tune back into James’ animated story telling. After a brief pause, he scratches his chin thoughtfully, musing, “Growing up in Manhattan, I didn’t think I would enjoy LA very much – the city life being vastly different and all. Maybe it’s too early to say this since I’ve only been here a grand total of three weeks…but being here feels right. And other than the homesickness, which is expected but manageable, I can’t think of any reason to walk away from this opportunity of a lifetime.”

You bristle in your seat, inhaling a sharp intake of air, James’ words reminding you of yesterday’s video call, when she interrupted and –

“And what’s going to stop me from telling James any of this?” You say angrily, wishing you could reach into your laptop and slap the smug smile off of Yasmin’s face.

“Go right ahead,” she challenges, sounding amused and your frown deepens. “Do you think that’s going to convince him to walk away from the opportunity of a lifetime?”

The memory leaves a bitter and foul taste in your mouth, which only seems to worsen as you recount the rest of that standoff, remembering - with a sick twist of your gut, because how could you be so stupid to forget - it being the reason why you left Hartfeld in the first place.

And just like that, your little bubble of happiness bursts.

Outside, the landscape of LA continues to pass by in a blur and James announces excitedly, “We’re almost there!”

You don’t say anything or indicate that you heard him, focusing instead on tamping down the feeling of something sharp and hot flashing in your chest. He cuts a quick glance at you and does a double take when he finds you just staring at him.

“I don’t need to rush you to a hospital for a concussion, do I?” He teases, but there’s an edge of worry in his voice.

“I – what?” His gaze flicks between you and the road, and you rearrange your features into what you hope is a neutral expression. “No, I’m fine. Really,” you say, as convincingly as possible.

“Okaaay,” he says, not at all sounding convinced. “Then why–,”

You cut him off as the car finally pulls up next to a weatherworn ticket booth. “Hey we’re here!” You exclaim too loudly, pointing to the glittering waters of the Pacific Ocean in the distance. Internally, you cringe, hoping he won’t call you out on your odd behavior.

He eyes you a little weirdly, but to your relief, doesn’t mention it. Instead, he chuckles softly. “Yeah, we are.” James exchanges a few dollar bills for a receipt, which he places on the dashboard.

He pulls into a parking spot facing the water then kills the engine. Hastily, you grab the drinks from the cup holders, the bags of food from the floor, and your purse. You quickly exit the car and make your way towards the trunk, needing a few moments alone to settle the emotions warring inside of you.

On one hand, you know you need to tell James the truth about Yasmin’s intentions with him and hope to god he’ll listen to you.

Because even though it’ll break his heart, it’s the right thing to do.

But…on the other hand, you can’t even count how many times you’ve heard him laugh or seen him smile today.

And you would do anything in this world to keep him happy.

James chooses then to get out as well, and you feel your heart flutter with panic because you haven’t made a decision yet.

“Can you pop the trunk, please?” You ask, fidgeting in place and avoiding his gaze when he stops next to you.

He lets out a soft sigh and before you know it, the load from your arms is gone as he sets it down on the back of the car. He tugs on the crook of your elbow, bringing your body close to his; his arms encircle your waist as your hands settle on the planes of his chest. You swallow hard as you finally look at his face, which is tight with worry.

“What’s wrong?” He implores quietly, eyes searching yours.

“Nothing,” you reply, pushing false conviction onto that one word.

Unconvinced, he levels you with a look and reminds you, voice hard and laced with disappointment. “Remember? We agreed no more secrets.” Then, softer, “You know you can tell me anything.”

Slumping your shoulders in defeat, you nod slowly, knowing you can’t deny him the truth. You take a moment to gather your thoughts, and he waits silent and patient. It’s his hands spanning the small of your back and thumbs rubbing idle circles over your shirt that calms your nerves and gives you the courage to finally speak.

“I,” you start, struggling to find the right words. “I’m just worried about you. Sure the glitz and glamour of Hollywood is great now, but what happens when that wears off and the strain from your movie finally gets to you?” You pause, backtracking. “Not that I’m saying I think you can’t handle it, because I know you can – I believe you can.” You sigh, “I guess what I’m trying to say is that – I’m afraid showbiz is going to…,” ruin you, you want to say, but instead, “change you.”

Your cheeks are hot as you finish and you duck your head down, humiliation trickling in your belly. It is then that you notice that you’ve been clenching fist-fulls of his shirt for the span of your confession. Immediately, you release the fabric, and begin to nervously smooth out the wrinkles, waiting for him to say something, your heart thundering in your chest.

“Hey,” he murmurs, and your hands freeze. His voice sounds nothing close to angry at all. James crooks a finger under your chin and tilts your face back up again. You blink in surprise when he presses a chaste kiss to your lips.

When he pulls back, you stare at him, confused and wary. “Thank you for sharing,” he says sincerely. “But I’m not going to change. Hollywood, the studio, Yasmin – no one is going to change me. I won’t let them,” he promises.

Then James huffs out a breath and shakes his head before continuing, “You know, most of the time I feel like you know me better than I know myself. So, if I do happen to fall out of line, you have free reign to put me back in my place – with whatever method you deem fit. That includes kicking my ass if you really have to.” You giggle quietly at that, unable to help yourself, and give him a soft, close-mouthed smile. He grins at you.

But then your smile fades and you bite your lip, still feeling uncertain. James sees the change in your expression and he cups your face in his hands and you gaze up at him - at his brown eyes, big and gentle…and the way he’s looking at you, it’s like - like you’re the sun and he’s a blind man seeing for the first time. You feel the inner corner of your eyes stinging and you blink once, twice, to chase away the moisture you feel gathering up. “The amazing thing about being a writer is that you’re essentially playing God, deciding the fate of your characters, having all the creative freedom in the world. Sometimes, I forget that my life isn’t like that, it’s not under my full control and it could change at any second.” He pauses, considering his next words carefully.

“So, I can’t tell you for certain what’s going to happen to me or to us. But what I can tell you is that you’re the most important person in my life, and as long as you’re by my side, the uncertainty of the future doesn’t scare me so much.” Your blinking becomes futile as tears cascade down your cheeks in earnest. “I love you,” he says thickly, voice shaking, eyes wet. “I’m in love with you. So much I can’t even breathe around it sometimes. I know I don’t say it enough, but I do. And it’s ridiculous; it’s completely ridiculous how much.”

There is a moment of breathless, frozen silence as your mind goes blank and your heart stutters to a stop.

Then you reach up and press your lips to his in a bruising kiss.

The two of you don’t come up for air for a while.

***

Later, you’re lying down on the blanket you and James spread out, soaking up the rays of the fading sun, far away from the other beach goers. His arms hold you close as your head rests on his chest, your ear nestled over his heart. A combination of food coma, the background noise of crashing waves, and the warmth of James’ body almost lulls you to sleep when you remember something.

“James?”

“Hmm?” He mumbles sleepily.

“I love you, too.” You say and beneath you, you feel his breathing still and heart rate pick up.

Propping yourself up on your elbow, you lean over to give him a quick peck. But he has other ideas as his hand slides into your hair, holding your head in place. Encouraged by his enthusiasm, you’re about to deepen the kiss, intending to cash in on his earlier promise of “to be continued,” when you swiftly pull away from him, a hand clasped over your mouth. James blinks up at you, a little dazed.

“Sorry, I have onion breath,” you explain sheepishly from behind your hand.

There’s a split second where he continues to look at you, puzzled, then his face breaks out into a breathtaking smile when what you said registers in his mind. Suddenly, you’re being pulled back down and you let out an ouf as you land on top of him and his arms wrap around you, squeezing you so tight you can hardly breathe. “God, I love you – onion breath and all.”

His laughter is loud and deep in your ear, the sound of it echoing inside you, filling you up with warmth, like something bright and golden coursing through your veins.

Your little bubble of happiness is back.

And it’s here to stay.

[roseisread]

Top 25 Movies of 2016

I saw 51 of the many more films released in 2016, so naturally this list suffers from the usual incompleteness. But of those 51, the movies listed below are the ones that really stuck with me, entertained me, moved me, or made me see the world through a different lens after the credits rolled. Some of them are deeply personal and hold great meaning; others are just a great excuse to laugh or shudder or sob about something that doesn’t matter so you don’t have to think about the things in real life that might evoke that reaction for a couple hours. 

If you saw something amazing that didn’t make the list, be sure to let me know so I can add it to my watchlist (or defend my choice to leave it off the list of faves). 

25. Zootopia (Netflix) At a time when the world was finding reasons to divide itself into fractious subgroups, along came a winsome little animated film about tolerance and eschewing stereotypes. The animation is top notch, the story is funny and action-packed, and any scene featuring the sloth from the DMV threatened my ability to breathe because I was laughing so hard. If you missed it in theaters, be sure to catch up with it on Netflix. It’s a real gem. 

24. The Conjuring 2 (Amazon/iTunes rental) The first Conjuring got a ton of acclaim but I wasn’t that enamored with it. This one, on the other hand, totally delivers. Once again, Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson star as paranormal investigators who are plagued by dark forces. This time, the action centers on a family in England (inspired by the somewhat infamous Enfield Poltergeist) with an unwanted apparition who interacts with them in all kinds of upsetting ways. Rather than relying solely on jump scares, there’s a lot of great suspenseful sequences and practical effects that use the atmosphere and physical space to masterful effect. Plus, the characters are likable and we are rooting for them which goes a long way toward making this a better than average horror movie. 

23. The Edge of Seventeen (Theaters) Hailee Steinfeld plus Woody Harrelson equals brilliance. Add to the mix the savvy direction of first timer Kelly Fremon Craig and the charming supporting cast (particularly Hayden Szeto) and you have a winning combo that leaves other teen dramedies in the dust. The story is relatable for anyone who experienced high school: Nadine feels alienated at school and at home, partly because high school sucks and parents just don’t understand but also partly because she sees herself as just a little bit superior to her peers and family members. She’s a classic Holden Caulfield type, really. When her best friend starts dating Nadine’s brother and mortal enemy, she takes it as a personal betrayal. Between this, her crush on a bad boy type, and her tentative steps toward romance with a nerdy but sweet classmate, she’s got a lot on her plate. Naturally, she takes solace by venting to her favorite teacher, the bemused Harrelson who takes all of her abuse and whining with stoic aplomb. 

22. Jackie (Theaters) I was born in 1981, which means I don’t have any personal connection to Jackie O. the way people of my parents generation did. I don’t have recollections of seeing her on TV or experiencing the Kennedy assassination, but I’ve been hearing about it all my life and thus feel like I know the story. This movie took me by surprise by showing me something new, something I’d never considered: The personal grief of a tremendously public loss. Natalie Portman embodies the carefully manicured public persona as well as the private devastation of Jackie Kennedy in the days surrounding JFK’s death. It’s not a traditional biopic, and not a traditional historical drama. That makes sense coming from Chilean director Pablo Larrain, who also gave us the excellent political thriller/comedy No a few years ago. He captures pivotal moments and edits them together into a kind of fractured consciousness befitting the recently bereft Jackie. 

21. 10 Cloverfield Lane (Amazon/GooglePlay rental) I’ve still never seen the original Cloverfield (I know, I know), but I do love me some John Goodman being a possible creeper so I had to see this movie. The title really was an afterthought; the story was written independent of the horror franchise and marketing decided a built-in audience and some name recognition would boost ticket sales. All of this to say, you don’t need to know or love Cloverfield to know and love 10 Cloverfield Lane. Essentially it’s a chamber piece, modeled on some of Hitchcock’s techniques (Lifeboat/Rope/Dial M for Murder).  Oh and also the original script got a once-over by a certain Damien Chazelle, who was once slated to direct it as well until Whiplash got greenlit and then he got a little busy making a movie called La La Land which may or may not be definitely coming up later in this list so... yeah. But anyways. It’s got that breathlessness and intensity Chazelle brought to life in his other movies, but this time in an actual horror/suspense setting. Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Gallagher, Jr. play Goodman’s reluctant houseguests in his underground bunker. Goodman claims to be protecting them from something horrible outside; they’re not sure whether to believe him or to trust their instinct that the something horrible is Goodman himself. All three performances are excellent, and your nerves will be frayed little bundles by the time 103 minutes is up. 

20. Certain Women (Theaters) Just watching this movie made me feel physically cold. It takes place in Montana, and is essentially a triptych that follows three different women in the same small town. The first, played by Laura Dern, is an attorney with a particularly high maintenance client (Jared Harris). The second is a woman (Michelle Williams) who feels alienated from her husband and their teenage daughter, even as the family is working on building a house together. The final story, and by far my favorite, focuses on a farmhand (the glorious Lily Gladstone in a breakout role) who chances upon a night class taught by Kristen Stewart and becomes transfixed. This is a quiet film, about women who yearn for more than their lives so far have given them. Each one deals with the small injustices and tiny victories that ordinary events bestow, but one senses beneath the surface a lingering question of “Is this all there is?” In that way, it’s totally relatable. There aren’t a lot of major plot arcs here, but that’s exactly the point of the film. In watching this movie, you realize that Henry David Thoreau’s quote about the masses leading lives of quiet desperation might well be answered by Simone de Beauvoir: “I think that where you go wrong is that you imagine that your reasons for living ought to fall on you, ready-made from heaven, whereas we have to find them for ourselves.” 

19. Don’t Think Twice (YouTube/GooglePlay rental) If you listen to podcasts at all (especially This American Life, WTF, or You Made It Weird), you should know the name Mike Birbiglia by now. He’s a comic turned actor/writer/director and this is his latest original work. This time, he enlisted fellow talented comics to join him onscreen: Chris Gethard, Gillian Jacobs, Keegan Michael Key, Kate Micucci, and Tami Sagher play his friends and fellow members of an improv troupe. They’re all people you know or have been--starving artist types who are holding onto a dream that comedy will one day pay the bills and take them to the next level. When that actually happens to one of them, the group dynamic shifts considerably. As Morrissey so accurately sings, “We hate it when our friends become successful.” But really, the truth is we hate ourselves when our friends become successful. It makes us question whether it’s a matter of deserving it or working hard or random chance.  The great thing about this movie is the blend of truly hilarious comedic moments and stirring emotional honesty. It’s about friendship, it’s about surviving your thirties, it’s about figuring out if the dreams you’ve had your whole life are the dreams you still actually want to come true. If you can get through Gillian Jacobs’ incredible solo improv performance toward the end of this movie without tears, you get to be the new Clear Eyes spokesperson instead of Ben Stein. 

18. Love and Friendship (Amazon Prime) This movie features one of the funniest characters of the year, an immensely clueless rich dolt named Sir James Martin (Tom Bennett), who marvels at the existence of peas and struggles to arrive at the correct number of commandments. Who could be responsible for such a creation? Well, who else but the writer whose best work pokes fun at social climbers and wealthy nitwits: Jane Austen. Whit Stillman adapted her little known work Lady Susan into this charming and hilarious period piece starring Kate Beckinsale, Chloe Sevigny, Stephen Fry, and Xavier Samuel. Beckinsale does her absolute greatest work in this movie--I had no idea she was capable of this kind of performance, and she absolutely slays. As far as Austen adaptations go, this one is my favorite since Clueless--and that’s about the highest praise I could offer. 

17. Don’t Breathe (YouTube/Amazon/Vudu Rental) The premise of Fede Alvarez’s sophomore thriller is simple: A trio of young Detroit opportunists break into the home of a blind veteran (Stephen Lang) after hearing he’s got a lot of cash in the house, figuring it’ll be an easy score. But they underestimate this particular blind man and his ability to protect his home and property. The result is a fast-paced cat and mouse game that will definitely have you holding your breath for long chunks of time. I had a blast watching this movie, even if it should have ended a few scenes earlier than it did. 

16. Hell or High Water (Amazon/iTunes/GooglePlay Rental) One of my favorite pieces of music, classical or otherwise, is Aaron Copeland’s Fanfare for the Common Man. This composition was directly inspired by a speech delivered by Henry Wallace in 1942, which outlined the cause of freedom and the stakes of World War II while also setting a tone for the whole century as one in which ordinary people--the common man--would share the same standard of living, of educational and economic opportunity, of scientific discovery.  An excerpt of this speech reads thusly: “When the freedom-loving people march; when the farmers have an opportunity to buy land at reasonable prices and to sell the produce of their land through their own organizations, when workers have the opportunity to form unions and bargain through them collectively, and when the children of all the people have an opportunity to attend schools which teach them truths of the real world in which they live — when these opportunities are open to everyone, then the world moves straight ahead.” Well, the world has continued moving since those words were spoken, but those opportunities are certainly not yet open to everyone despite promises all around that anyone in America should be able to succeed on grit and good will alone. When grit and good will fail to deliver, some people give up and some people become outlaws. That’s where we find our protagonists in this movie, Toby and Tanner Howard (Chris Pine and Ben Foster, respectively), as it opens. They’re robbing banks out of perceived necessity, and also out of a sense of Karma not acting quite fast enough for their liking. Meanwhile, a pair of Texas Rangers (Jeff Bridges and Gil Birmingham) get assigned to the case and aim to catch up with whoever’s responsible and give ‘em hell.  The film is beautifully shot by cinematographer Giles Nuttgens, and the screenplay contains scintillating dialogue and the kind of characters you might find in a classic Western, plus a final showdown for the ages. On the performance side, there’s not a weak one in the bunch. Chris Pine proves he’s more than just a pretty face and Jeff Bridges sheds his Dude persona to give an even better performance here than in his Oscar-winning turn in Crazy Heart. If you need a movie to watch with your Dad that you can both enjoy, this is that movie. 

15. De Palma (Amazon Prime) Sisters. Carrie. Dressed to Kill. Blow Out. Mission Impossible. Body Double. Scarface. The Untouchables. Casualties of War. About 20 other films--all directed by Brian De Palma, the subject of this documentary. For some, he’s alienating. For me, this guy is legendary. His films pick up where Hitchcock left off and go running off in their own bonkers directions, oozing style and excess and delivering tawdry and thrilling twists along the way. I’m convinced that one day he’ll be revered by film students and not just genre lovers, and at that point this doc will serve as a Hitchcock/Truffaut type text.  The doc is really just De Palma going through his filmography chronologically, shots of him talking edited together with clips from every one of his movies and archival behind the scenes footage. That might sound boring but I promise you it is not. He tells lots of stories, does not shy away from pointing out the flaws and issues in his movies, and reflects on the reception his movies have received from critics and cultural scholars over the years. He also tells some fascinating stories from his youth that shed light on the types of movies he grew up to make. He also talks a lot about his techniques and the way his shooting style developed. If you are interested in filmmaking or De Palma or both, this movie will have you riveted from start to finish.

14. Manchester by the Sea (Theaters) For a meditation on grief and loss, this movie made me laugh a lot. That might sound inappropriate, but if you’ve ever experienced loss yourself, you know it’s not linear and doesn’t follow rules or codes of conduct. Sometimes you laugh at inopportune times. Sometimes you want to cry and can’t. Sometimes you melt down at the sight of frozen food (see what I did there? Melt/frozen! Ahh I kill me sometimes).  Casey Affleck and Lucas Hedges make a great onscreen team, with Affleck playing Lee Chandler and Hedges playing Patrick, Lee’s teenage nephew. They’ve both lost someone important to them, but neither is great at opening up on the subject. Lee does his best to take care of his nephew, but he feels ill-equipped to be the stable parental figure Patrick needs. For his part, Patrick would prefer to keep things the way they are. “I have two girlfriends and I’m in a band!” he points out, and who is Lee to argue with that kind of logic? 

Of course I can’t finish discussing this movie without highlighting the luminous presence of Michelle Williams, who owns every second she’s onscreen (which isn’t very long). Her final scene with Affleck broke me right in two. 

13. Born to be Blue (Digital Purchase) Every year springs new musical biopics upon us, to varying degrees of creativity and critical acclaim or derision. My favorite one from 2016 was Robert Budreau’s nonlinear narrative inspired by incidents from the life of Chet Baker as portrayed by Ethan Hawke, who gives his best performance outside a movie with “Before” in the title. For the unfamiliar, Chet Baker is best known as the singer of “My Funny Valentine” today, but he was also a prominent jazz trumpet player and part of the West Coast jazz scene in the 1950s and 60s. As so many artist types, his genius was often threatened by his dalliances with substances and people whose momentary glamor gave way to decay and destruction. 

Hawke captures Baker’s charming qualities as well as his tendencies toward self-sabotage, and the movie does not feel like a typical biopic as it incorporates a more meditative approach than a chronological one. There’s also a movie-within-the-movie which adds to the novel feel and keeps this from just hitting all the major events in Baker’s life in order. Carmen Ejogo is excellent as Baker’s primary love interest, a complex and well-drawn foil for the troubled musician. Her character is an amalgam of real life people, but she stands out as more than just your typical long-suffering wife/lover trope. 

12. Fences (Theaters) August Wilson’s intimate play gets the cinematic treatment at the hands of Denzel Washington, who both directed and stars here. Troy (Washington) is a garbage man who drinks a lot and talks a lot more to his wife Rose (Viola Davis), his friend Bono (Stephen Henderson), his son Cory (Jovan Adeppo), and others who show up at his doorstep.  The story is simple, but the characters are anything but. This may be my favorite ever Denzel performance, and certainly my pick for Best Actor in a Leading Role of 2016. Davis is phenomenal too, in a quiet but steady way. And not as many people are talking about Stephen Henderson, who played Bono in the play as well as the movie, but he’s excellent.  If you want to hear beautifully written dialogue (and monologues), see some of the year’s best performances, and be moved by a family drama that feels relevant even though it was written and set in a bygone era, go see Fences. 

11. Midnight Special (On Demand) In the first of two Jeff Nichols-directed movies that came out in 2016, Michael Shannon (a frequent Nichols collaborator) is a father trying to protect his son. The boy has some unique abilities, to say the least, and everyone from cult leaders to government agencies wants to exploit those abilities. It’s part superhero origin story, part Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and all about the joy, terror, and unbridled love that come with being a parent.  The movie features memorable visuals as well as supporting performances from Joel Edgerton, Kirsten Dunst, and Adam Driver. The ending may leave you with more questions than answers, but the emotions it evokes are unmistakable.

10. Tower (iTunes) In 1966, a lone gunman stood atop a tower on the University of Texas campus and opened fire on the unsuspecting people below. For the next 96 minutes, chaos and carnage took over the scene as law enforcement and campus officials tried to devise a way to stop the shooter without endangering more lives. This documentary tells the story of that day from the perspective of people who were there, using interviews and re-staging events using rotoscoping animation.  The result is one of the most powerful documentaries in recent memory (outside of Joshua Oppenheimer’s The Act of Killing and The Look of Silence). Hearing from victims, bystanders, police officers, journalists, and students who experienced this firsthand reveals so much about the nature of trauma, the way we react in extreme circumstances, and the contrast between what was then a first-of-its kind incident and what is now an all too frequent occurrence: The campus shooting spree. It’s never preachy, just lets each person tell their own story. Always, the focus is on the people on the ground rather than the person behind the violence. It’s a must-see film.

9. Arrival (Theaters) Denis Villeneuve has become one of my favorite directors of recent years, and it’s great to see a film of his get embraced so widely by audiences as well as critics. In case you haven’t yet seen it, this movie features Amy Adams as a linguist and Jeremy Renner as a scientist. Both of them have been recruited to help the government communicate with the aliens who have recently parked giant pods all over the world.  The movie opens with a much more human story, and if you cried at the beginning of Up you will certainly shed tears here too. I won’t give more away than that, but what happens informs the emotions and decisions made throughout the film in interesting ways.  I love the visuals of this film, and the emotional arc of the story. I also adored all the technical linguistic things that were going on, and I don’t know enough about science or language to know whether they were plausible so I’m just going to assume ignorance is bliss and aids in suspension of disbelief. There is one scene that seems to create a divide in audiences between loving and hating this movie. I won’t explain beyond saying it involves a phone call, so if you’ve seen it you know what I’m talking about. I can understand the criticism, but for me it was not enough to derail all that came before and after.  If you haven’t seen this yet and you like your science fiction with a few tugs on the heartstrings, this is definitely worth your time. 

8. The Lobster (Amazon/iTunes/GooglePlay Rental) I adore this movie, but that does not mean you will. I have to put that caveat right up front. In fact, at least one person I recommended this movie to absolutely hated it. So, take my opinion with a grain of salt but I will try to convey truth in advertising.  Yorgos Lanthimos, whose previous films were Dogtooth and Alps, makes his English language debut with this dystopian romantic comedy. Colin Farrell, John C. Reilly, Rachel Weisz, Ben Wishaw, Lea Seydoux, and Olivia Colman are the human subjects who populate the story. In their world, if you find yourself without a partner, you go to a hotel where you have 45 days to pair up with someone. If you do not find a suitable match, then at the end of 45 days you get turned into the animal of your choice. You can extend the time of your matchmaking opportunities by going out to the forest and hunting “loners,” people who have escaped from the hotel in the past and choose to live lives of solitude.  It’s a wacky premise, but leads to numerous laugh out loud scenarios in addition to the more plaintive moments. I should warn you that there is a scene or two of violence involving an animal, which may be tough to watch for some. That may be one of the reasons people hate it. But as a critique of human behavior and society’s obsessions, it’s quite an effective parable. 

The latter half of the film takes a different turn, and while I don’t want to give away what happens, that’s why I called this a “romantic” comedy. You may not want to watch it with your date on Valentine’s Day, but if you do it should certainly give you much to discuss afterward.

7. April and the Extraordinary World (YouTube/Vudu/GooglePlay/Amazon Rental) This animated steampunk French film features a talking cat and a whipsmart girl and an underground lair and a bunch of other wondrous things that I don’t dare attempt to describe. It’s an alternative history film, it features the voice of the marvelous Marion Cotillard, and it should’ve been nominated for Best Animated Feature at the Oscars. Alas, it was not. But if you want to watch a gorgeous, funny, charming film that might inspire a generation of girls to go into STEM careers, watch this. 

6. The Neon Demon (Amazon Prime) I feel intoxicated every time I even recall this sumptuous film. If you missed my review of it earlier this year, go check it out and then go watch this film... if you dare.

5. Sing Street (Netflix) This is, hands down, the feel good movie of the year. Written and directed by John Carney, who gave us Once and Begin Again, this film is set in Ireland in the early 1980s. The premise is simple, really: A boy starts a band to impress a girl that’s out of reach. Not only does he hope to impress her with the music, but he convinces her to star in their music videos since she’s seeking a career as a model. Then he has to actually form the band, and learn how to play instruments and write songs. Along the way, his older and cooler brother educates him on the cool musicians of the day: The Smiths, Duran Duran, The Clash, The Jam, Hall & Oates, The Cure, Spandau Ballet.  The original songs in this film are super catchy and fun, and serve as homages to the great bands referenced above. If you’re a sucker for the films of John Hughes, the music of the 80s, and stories about brothers and coming of age and following your dreams, this is the movie for you. 

4. The Handmaiden (Theaters) Take a novel  set in Victorian England about pickpockets, conmen, and insane asylums that’s been referred to as “lesbian Dickens” (Sarah Waters’ Fingersmith), and set it in colonial South Korea, and make sure it’s directed by the guy who made Oldboy. This is a recipe for the most gorgeously photographed, erotically charged, bonkers in the best way movie of the year.  I don’t want to get too far into the story which has so many delicious surprises, but the quick version is that an orphan pickpocket goes to live with a rich but possibly mentally ill young woman to serve as her handmaiden. This is all in an attempt to con said rich young woman into a marriage plot with a smooth talking ne’er do well man. And there’s also the added wrinkle of the rich girl’s creepy uncle, who collects banned erotic books and holds readings in his library for men who pass through. It’s a very unsettling atmosphere for two young ladies, and they form a bond with one another in spite of themselves.  There are moments of horror, laughter, and blush-inducing romance in this unrated film (don’t watch it with Grandma unless she has a very open mind and you have a very comfortable relationship). Its runtime is 145 minutes but I wanted to stay in this world forever. 

3. Green Room (Amazon/iTunes/GooglePlay Rental) We lost too many good people last year, and Anton Yelchin was one of the losses that hurt the most. In this movie, he gives arguably his best performance as a member of a punk band that gets in way over its head when they take a gig for gas money that takes place in a remote area where most of the audience is neo-Nazi skinheads. They get through the performance, uncomfortable as it is, but the real trouble happens later when one of them witnesses something their hosts really don’t want them to see. From there, it’s a tense stalemate as the band members have to improvise and evaluate who can be trusted. The movie is directed by Jeremy Saulnier, who gave us the excellent and underrated Blue Ruin a few years ago. This one has a similar blend of regular people in irregular situations, with plenty of blood and gore but also a fair bit of humor and a whole lot of real raw punk rock, both on the soundtrack and in the aesthetic. It helps that Saulnier was in a band himself back in the day, so he brings a real authenticity to the characters in the movie.  This stayed atop my “best of the year” list all the way into December, when I finally saw the last two films on my list. I’ve watched it multiple times and would watch it many more. If you took delight in a video of a Nazi getting punched a few weeks back, you should definitely watch this movie. And if you didn’t, well, you should still watch this movie. 

2. Moonlight (Theaters/Digital Purchase) Barry Jenkins (director/co-writer) and Tarell Alvin McCraney (co-writer) have created a moving, timeless piece of visual poetry in this film that captures three significant chapters in the life of a young man named Chiron. When we first meet him, he’s maybe six or seven years old and people call him “Little.” He hides out in an abandoned house to escape from neighborhood bullies, and is discovered by Juan (Mahershala Ali), a local drug dealer with a complicated moral compass. Juan and his wife Teresa (Janelle Monae) become de facto surrogate parents to Little, whose mom (Naomie Harris) works late and brings random men home and sells their belongings off piece by piece to afford the drugs she craves.  In the second chapter, Little is now “Chiron,” in high school and life hasn’t gotten easier. He’s still quiet, still has a troubled relationship with his mom, and feels pretty alone in his peer group with the exception of his friend Kevin. He and Kevin share an unexpected but life-changing evening on the beach that is intimate and believable and raw. The next day at school, however, another life-changing exchange takes place between the two young men and this one is even more visceral in its immediate and long lasting impact on Chiron’s future. Finally, we see him as “Black,” a little older and transformed from the skinny vulnerable teen into a muscular, physically intimidating presence. He’s clearly fighting against his past by embracing everything he can to seem larger than life and untouchable, in both his physical appearance and his lifestyle. He gets a phone call one night that reconnects him with a part of his past he could never quite shake. I won’t spoil what happens next, but the final twenty minutes of this movie are a perfect encapsulation of long-suppressed feelings finally forcing their way out into the open. It’s such a personal story, but the specifics make it so relatable that it feels universal in its specificity.  The performances in this movie are wonderful, the cinematography is gorgeous, the score is amazing--I could go on for years. To me, this movie showed a story I’ve never seen on screen before, from a perspective that’s completely underrepresented in pop culture. It never feels manipulative or stereotypical or preachy--just real and achingly human. Some moments in this movie have replayed themselves over and over in my mind hundreds of times, and even having seen it twice in the theater I can’t wait to study every frame of it on multiple viewings once it’s available on Blu-Ray. I want it to seep into my bones the way it seeped into my heart. 1. La La Land (Theaters) “This is the kind of movie that just fills your heart up,” I texted a friend the second I exited the theater after seeing La La Land the first of three times (and counting). And every time I watch it, my heart overflows a little more. Here’s a film that will resonate differently depending on your frame of mind when you watch it, the same way Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind can feel funny or sweet or tragic or dark or romantic depending on your current relationship status.  At first glance, Damien Chazelle may seem to be showing off in his follow up to Whiplash, tapping into an easy sentimentality that short circuits our center of reason by throwing in references to Singin’ in the Rain, Casablanca, West Side Story, and an LA that probably only ever existed in the imaginations of the people who never actually visited the City of Stars but fell in love with its many portrayals on the silver screen. And yes, Hollywood does love stories about itself and yes, the novelty of an original movie musical does scream “anachronistic film school prodigy.” So I get the skepticism, I truly do. I can’t promise this movie will live up to the hype of a record-tying number of Oscar nominations for you, but I can tell you that it means so much more than that to me. It’s not just another charming but forgettable throwback (I’m looking at you, The Artist).  In case you haven’t yet experienced this movie, a quick breakdown: Sebastian and Mia, portrayed by Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, are both in LA chasing their dreams of artistic success. He’s a jazz pianist; she’s an actress. Neither has quite made it, and “making it” to them means doing something authentic on their own terms which makes success even more elusive. Compromise may be part of real life but neither of them is quite ready to give up the fantasy yet. Their relationship starts off adversarial, then tentative, then before you know it they’re literally floating into space so carried away are they with love and visions of a future together. The stages of their lives and the story are divided up by seasons, and sure as summer follows spring, you can’t get through the year without the fall. Fall in this movie has a double meaning, and the cute flirty interludes give way to frustrated sighs and changing priorities. Other seasons follow, which I will not spoil, but I will say that the final five or ten minutes of this movie could stand on their own and still be my favorite film of 2016. People compared Whiplash to The Red Shoes, and I would make the same comparison to this film although for different reasons. The ballet sequence of The Red Shoes and the final sequence of La La Land share an artistic splendor the can induce wonder and catharsis in equal measure. I’m prone to quoting Charles Bukowski, so I’m going to close by quoting him again. I think the following poems explain the core of this film, and why it resonates so much with me: “the area dividing the brain and the soul is affected in many ways by experience – some lose all mind and become soul: insane. some lose all soul and become mind: intellectual. some lose both and become: accepted.” --You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense “if it doesn't come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don't do it. unless it comes unasked out of your heart and your mind and your mouth and your gut, don't do it. if you're doing it for money or fame, don't do it. if you're doing it because you want women in your bed, don't do it. unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket, unless being still would drive you to madness or suicide or murder, don't do it. unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don't do it. when it is truly time, and if you have been chosen, it will do it by itself and it will keep on doing it until you die or it dies in you. there is no other way. and there never was.” --So You Want To Be a Writer?

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x13 SECTIONALS

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x13 SECTIONALS

Ah, memories. I watched this with someone who is now a very close friend of mine when we first started becoming good friends. I think it was the first time we hung out just the two of us outside of our big group of mutual friends or work. All snuggled up on her couch with her dog and wine and stars in our eyes over Matthew Morrison, lol.

Amber Riley looks so different (and so good!) here. Like a new person. I think it’s the hair.

Kurt also looks older and a little less chubby-cheeked. Did they have a filming break before this or something?

Um…toddler or not, Rachel is wearing some SHORT skirts sometimes in these eps. Like in that flashback just now. Yowzah.

Quinn immediately starts yelling at Puck and Finn who try to help her when she falls. I’m telling ya. Hardcore rage there.

“I’ve never told you guys this before, but I’m a little psychic.” I kinda hate RIB for not keeping or exploring that talent of Rachel’s. Seriously. How funny would that shit be with her trying to predict things?

“It’s nothing to be scared of. It’s not like Carrie or anything!”

hahaha. I love this ridiculous cross calling as they all walk down the hall together. Wonderful.

“Sex is not dating.” “If it were, Santana and I would be dating.” Yes. The birth moment of Brittana. :) Also, the pause in response, even in the music. Golden.

Except Artie said Rachel’s a ‘total trout mouth’. No no no. Sam Evans (be still my heart) is the only Trouty Mouth at McKinley. Bite your tongue, Artie!

Rachel manipulating the truth out of Quinn. Ugh. Unnecessary. Yeesh, Rachel. None of your business! Real problems and people’s lives that you’re messing with! My God.

“She’s the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker.”

Mercedes just said she works just as hard as Rachel. And Rachel doesn’t argue. So….when did that change? When did Rachel start working harder than everyone around her? I missed it. Let’s see if I can catch it in my rewatching.

Again, this moment with Mercedes, Mike and Matt. Isn’t she popular? Cause obvs, besides Kurt and Tina, they’re her friends. So…?

I love watching everyone watching Mercedes sing And I Am Telling You. Artie’s so enamored. Kurt’s such a proud papa.

You can’t see me. But I’m giving Mercedes a standing ovation right now. Holy. Fucking. Shit. Amber Riley, ladies and gentlemen. I have no words for that performance.

This is where it started. Rachel has to ‘approve’ of Mercedes getting that solo over her. Even though it’s not necessary, she’s gotta say her piece and give her blessing. It all started here.

Also, this is where Rachel’s “I’m gonna hug you now” thing she does that I hate started. It’s not cute. Stop it. Just hug her. Don’t announce it cause you want praise for it or whatever. Ugh. I need to stop before this all becomes an I hate Rachel Berry rant. (too late?)

“So all that stuff in the hot tub…you just made that up?” #BlessFinnsHeart

“I was selfish when I told him. I wanted to break you two up so that he would wanna be with me.” WHY IS THAT OKAY?!

Quinn’s gonna do this pregnancy thing on her own. Hmm…except…doesn’t she go straight into living with and dating Puck anyways?  Or am I forgetting about a step before that? Ugh. Not at all condoning what Quinn did but…just imagine when she had to see Carol to move out of Finn’s. The look of disappointment. God. I can’t even think about it anymore.

Jacob was a member of ND for a hot minute. I forgot!!!

Rachel says that going first or last is best. She learned this in her ‘extensive’ auditioning for community theatre. Her reasoning, as a Musical Theatre major, I completely stand by. However…Kurt asks her if she ever got any of those parts she auditioned for. Her face clearly says ‘not a one’. Besides Glee club and Maria, what on earth is on her resume? #oops.

Mercedes’ face while Jane Adams is singing And I Am Telling You is hiLARious. Omg.

Artie’s face as he watches them do Proud Mary. Aw. I just wanna hug him.

Rachel’s face as she’s trying to console them all and the crowd gives a standing O. Ha!

“I’m reasonably confident that you will be adding ‘revenge’ to the long list of things that you’re no good at right next to being married, running a high school glee club, and finding a hairstyle that doesn’t make you look like a lesbian. Love ya like a sistah.”

“Because sometimes being special sucks.”

“Mr. Schue, you forgot your keys.” “No I didn’t.” Cute. Also…can Finn drive?

“What happened to the white guy with the jerry curl?”

haha – Britany waves hi to the deaf choir as they’re performing as the rest of ND mopes. Hahaha, people are crying watching them.

Aw. Santana just admitted she likes being in glee club. :)

“Perhaps I could improvise some of my def poetry jams” oh Artie. Oh Tina’s response. Oh Artie’s “no?” in response to Tina’s response. You are all that is magical and glorious about this show. Moments like that.

Okay, I’m sorry, but no. It is not true that Rachel is the best SINGER that they’ve got. I get it that Rachel’s their star. I agree with that at this point in the series. But best singer is not accurate. It’s just not. I have a couple folks I’d throw in contention for that title.

Rachel just said she’s been working on Don’t Rain On My Parade since she was 4. Not 2 like she says in Choke. #oops.

I always hated (and still do) that they have all those damn songs they’ve CHOREOGRAPHED and LEARNED already this season and they can’t find a song besides Somebody to Love to complete their set list. Are you shitting me? Um…True Colors, His Name, Keep Holdin’ On, Crazy In Love/Hair, Halo/Walkin’ On Sunshine, It’s My Life/Confessions…no? None of em? …ok then.

I love that Finn non-chalantly mentions that he trashed the Cheerios copier after he used it to make copies of sheet music. Love it. Cause he’s so pissed at the world that I don’t doubt for a second that that copier was reduced to mere dust.

So they got dressed, did hair and make-up, learned that new song musically, rehearsed the other(s), choreographed that new song…in an hour? Riiiight.

Will on the phone with Emma confuses me. Is he not allowed, like the general public, to even be in the building to watch the performance? Really?

Alright, it’s happening so very much, I can’t NOT do it – restarting Don’t Rain On My Parade and counting the number of times Rachel squints/closes her eyes. Here we go: 23. In 2 minutes and 36 seconds. So…that’s a squint every 6.7 seconds. Hmm. I’m making a game of this from now on. “Can I count to 7 while she’s singing without her squinting her eyes shut?” is the name of said game. This will be fun.

OMG. First judge’s room ever. Ad;kfafdsasodi. I love these so much. Back when they were funny. OMGOMGOMGOMG!

“I’m just gonna come right out and say it: this is a singing competition. I dunno how those deaf kids got in. They weren’t singing, they were like, honking, and everyone was crying and I was like “get off the stage, you’re terrible, and you’re making me super uncomfortable”.”

“I have no idea what the hell I am doing here. I’m serious. I don’t understand what a glee club is and I had never even heard the term ‘showchoir’ til about 3 hours ago when my boss told me he had tickets to NASCAR and I had to fill in at this fool event.”

I just love that we see these kids put their hopes and dreams into this and stress and stress…and it comes down to 3 fools who have no idea what they’re doing. I LOVE the irony of this. I LOVE Glee that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Ah, memories.

“Get me the HELL outta HERE”

Terri’s seeing a therapist. Yay. ...at the local community center. Not yay. That can’t be real, right?

Oh. Even if people had come, this is the saddest wedding. There are just meat trays and lollipops and Munchies in a bowl.

I had forgotten until just now that I was a fan of Wemma. Like, it was the only relationship on the show I felt anything for at this point. Wow. That was so long ago.

“I can’t see you without feeling heartbroken” Oh Emma. I’ve been there hun. I feel your pain.

“The setlists were on Cheerios letterhead.” “I didn’t do it.” “They say ‘From the Desk of Sue Sylvester.” “Circumstantial evidence.” “They’re in your handwriting.” “Forgery.”

“(You have) besmirched the name of William McKinley!” “A FAILED PRESIDENT!” “Oh please – the greatest one who ever lived!”

Figgins just fired Sue. Knew she’d be back but thought it’d be awhile. RIB. Oh how little I knew you then and what you are capable of.

“Get ready for the ride of your life, Will Schuester. You are about to board the Sue Sylvester Express. Desination: HORROR.”

“You know you just woke a sleeping giant. Prepare to be crushed.” Silly Will. Didn’t you read the Hogwarts crest?! It warns you and everything!

So….Will was on the phone with Emma as they were performing. And Sectionals were Saturday. And it’s Monday. And he didn’t know until afterschool at Glee Club whether they won or not? Teacher of the Year indeed…

I still love My Life Would Suck Without You and the montage of former choreography and moments from musical numbers thus far in the season. It’s like…choreographed with memories. I love that. I would say I wish they’d do that on Tuesday in the graduation ep, but…I’ve learned not to get my hopes up. ;) This is still one of my favorite Glee moments though. And makes me all nostalgic and emotional watching it now, lol.

haha, towards the end of that, someone did something to fuck with Kurt’s little solo soul train moment cause he’s pissed.

ah, the first Wemma kiss!!! And then the promo was like “see ya in April!” and my friend and I were screaming and like “WHAT?! NOOOO!!!!” And then we continued to drink wine and wish we were Jayma Mays cause she got to kiss Matthew Morrison.

SOLOS: Mercedes (1), Rachel (3), Finn (1) MERCEDES TAKES THE GLORY NOTE: 4th time, 1st time in a competition