#certainly not you khai

[kamaluhkhan]

we were wild and fluorescent (come home to my heart)

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary: you come back to cousins beach after a few years away. conrad is not particularly happy that you're back - and you aren't particularly thrilled, either. too bad there's a history (chemistry?) neither of you can deny.

warnings: nostalgia + fluff + a bit of a *steamy* ending ; mentions of sex; swearing; conrad and reader drink alcohol; reader is a competitive swimmer + deals with a lot of pressure; complicated family dynamics (reader has two younger siblings + is eldest daughter); pop culture references (it book/movie, percy jackson series), this chapter is very long + ending is a little cheesy !!

tags: @stargirlsirius-recs, @ifilwtmfc, @qwertyb2577, @allnrsnz, @baconeggndcheez, @peanutbelley, @imogen-skye, @geekinthefuschiahair, @tvije, @drikawinchester, @maybankslover, @junnniiieee07, @elcpsstuff, @fangirl-kimora, @redbierd, @starkeylover, @serrendiipty, @jackierose902109, @lonelywitchv2, @c4rpediem-s, @teensyflowur, @peteronesgf, @percysaidnever

a/n: i literally cannot express how much it means to me that people are reading + enjoying my work!! thank you endlessly for following this story. this chapter is mostly fluff with a lot of banter between the reader and conrad + nostalgia. i'm thinking this will be the last part (....unless?) so i hope you enjoy it :)

part one | part two | part three

on a summer afternoon / i get to thinkin' 'bout the hazy days / under august shade that i used to spend with you (khai dreams, “sunkissed”)

now — summer age 18

you’re already frustrated when you walk over to the beck house, and when the person you least want to answer the door opens it, your mood goes from bad to worse.

"hey. is jere home?" you ask, peering behind conrad to see if someone else, anyone else is there. this is the first time since your argument that you and he were alone together, and you really don't want to look him in the eye. he doesn't look too thrilled to see you standing on his porch, either. he looks at you with tired eyes, wearing a black, short-sleeved rashguard and hair dripping wet. 

"no, sorry." 

"how about steven?"

conrad shakes his head and droplets of water go flying. he says something about prep for the debutante ball.

you exhale sharply, upset that your backup plan just fell through. "okay, bye."

you start walking away, but conrad calls your name. 

"everything okay?"

you're surprised by his follow-up question — suspicious, even. given the harsh words you'd exchanged the last time you were together, you assumed that conrad didn't very much care to prolong a conversation with you, much less whether or not you were okay. whatever his intentions are, you don't really have time to go down this road. 

"everything's fine," you answer loudly, still forging ahead.

"come on, y/n. i know you." 

your hands clench into fists at his words and you finally stop in your tracks. 

"conrad," you huff, turning around to face him. "i really don't have time for this." 

"look, i'm not…." conrad sighs, running a hand through his wet hair. "i'm not trying to start anything. you seem a little stressed, and if there's anything i can do….just, let me be there for you."

conrad used to always be there for you in situations like these, and you ignored the sharp pain in your heart earlier when you decided he couldn't be this time. you really, really, really want to stay mad at him — you certainly have enough reasons to be for several lifetimes — but the gentleness of conrad's tone calms you down as much as it throws you off. instinctively, you feel your hands unclench, your heartbeat slow down. 

“so, what’s wrong?”

you sigh. your siblings had planned an overnight trip with their friends at a campground about 3 hours away. they were meant to leave this afternoon, but the chaperones just cancelled — one had car trouble and the other a work emergency. now, they didn’t have a ride or adult supervision, which left you to come up with an alternative, lest you want to spend the rest of your summer drying your siblings’ tears and dealing with a lengthy guilt trip from your mother (who, conveniently, has plans this weekend and can’t reschedule). you left that last part out of your story to conrad, explaining only the basic components of your dilemma.

“but, it’s fine. i’ll sort something out.” as you wait for conrad to respond, you’re already running through a few other alternatives in your mind. you’re just in the middle of estimating the amount of money you would spend on gas when conrad says:

"well, i can come with you." 

you quirk your eyebrow at him. “yeah, you don’t need —”

“you’ll need two cars — and two drivers — to get them there, right? i'm not doing anything right now, or tomorrow.”

“it’s not your problem, conrad. i’ll figure something out —”

“look, you have three options," he interrupts, tilting his head at you. "one, you take two trips yourself to get them all there, which means you’d spend around 10 hours driving each way and waste a ton of money on gas.”

you stiffen. 

you hate that he knows exactly how your brain works….

“two, the twins have to cancel their trip, and you spend the rest of the summer with your siblings upset at you and your mom suggesting that you’re a bad sister, which is not true.”

you hate that he understands exactly the situation you’re in….

“three, you let me help you.”

….and you hate that he always insists on being helpful.

that was the real reason that you didn’t want to ask conrad — because you suspected that he might offer to help regardless of the tension between you two. the conrad you remember was always concerned with doing the right thing, no matter what, and despite how different he’s acting this summer, you knew that caring boy was still there, deep down.

sometimes, you hate being right — it can get a bit tedious.

conrad waits for you to answer, but he obviously knows you well enough to guess your decision. you don’t find the prospect of camping with conrad particularly appealing, but you’re desperate.

you tell conrad to be ready to leave in an hour, before walking back to your place to tell your siblings the good news.

a little over an hour later, your siblings, their friends — devi, khadija, kai, and leo — and all the camping supplies are split in between your and conrad’s cars. you decided to divide the group into threes: you’d drive your sister, khadija and leo; and conrad would drive your brother, devi, and kai. once everyone’s buckled in, you and conrad close the trunk of your respective cars and turn to each other.

“so, we’ve got a spot booked at stardust falls, but the plan is to stop halfway —”

“at sophie’s for a bite to eat,” conrad finishes, a smile creeping on his face. “i know the drill.”

you bite back a smile yourself before nodding at him and getting in the driver's seat.

as your sister cues up a playlist — you had just made her watch lemonade mouth so she was currently obsessed with hayley kiyoko and her music — you get lost in memories of summers past. 

it was a tradition, many years ago: your siblings were too young to join, so for one weekend in late august it was you, conrad, jeremiah, belly, and steven with susannah and laurel, the seven of you piled into a minivan for an overnight camping trip. you spent the drive blasting music and singing along, playing ‘i spy’ while gorging on goldfish crackers and sunny d. about halfway through, there would be a pit stop to refill the gas tank, stock up on snacks, and get something to eat from the nearby diner. you would always get waffles with extra whipped cream and conrad would get chocolate chip pancakes, and you’d always split the food between you. once you got to stardust falls, you’d spend the afternoon swimming and sunbathing, and the night roasting hot dogs and marshmallows, stargazing and whispering until sunrise. 

as much as you loved laurel and susannah, you and conrad would dream of getting your driver’s licence and being able to continue the tradition with just the kids. you never got the chance; it was only five years ago, when you were the same age as your siblings now, that you had gone on your last camping trip to the same location. 

it seems your dreams were finally coming true — just not in the way you expected.

when you get to sophie’s diner, you’re relieved to have a chance to stretch your legs. the eight of you get a familiar booth in the right corner and you find yourself squeezed between devi and the window. the waiter distributes menus to everyone, and it isn’t until you look down that you see it: your initials next to ‘CF’. last time you were here, the five of you all carved your initials onto the table when the moms weren’t looking. you forgot that you’d placed yours right next to conrad’s; to be fair, you were always sitting next to each other. now he’s at the other end of the table on the opposite side, examining the menu carefully even after being here so many times. 

this time, you just get a coffee and steal some bacon from your brother; conrad doesn’t get anything, claiming he isn’t hungry, until your sister offers him the rest of her french toast, which he practically inhales. after, you and conrad fill up on gas while your siblings and their friends go into the store for some snacks. 

“hey, can you get me some sour patch kids?” you ask your brother, handing him a $5 bill. your brother nods and starts walking away; you glance at conrad, then add: “and some m&m’s, too!” to which your brother offers a thumbs up. 

“thanks,” conrad says. he removes the nozzle and sticks it into the gas tank; you do the same, and for a few moments, there’s nothing but silence between you.

“does listening to the lightning thief musical on repeat make your brother a theatre kid?” 

you turn to face conrad, who’s already looking at you with a lopsided smile. 

“i think it makes him more of a percy jackson kid,” you decide.

“well, he has good taste. i didn’t even know there was a percy jackson musical,” conrad adds. 

“i know, right?” you gush. “my brother and kai went to see it off broadway, and of course i had to chaperone, but i’m so glad i did because how, in the name of all the gods, did we not know this existed?”

conrad laughs. “we would have been obsessed,” he agrees. 

you smile, feeling yourself hit by another wave of nostalgia. 

when you were younger, you, conrad, jeremiah, steven, and belly loved the percy jackson series, rotating the books between the five of you until everyone had read them, the covers well-worn and sand stuck between the pages. so, for belly’s 9th birthday, laurel wrote out a prophecy with an elaborate quest for the five of you to go on - something about searching for poseidon's missing trident - while susannah used the time to fashion the backyard into your very own camp half-blood. you each got ‘assigned’ a godly parent: apollo for jeremiah, ever the sunshine boy; hermes for steven, the trickster of the group; aphrodite for belly, who looked at the world with rose coloured glasses; poseidon for you, because you loved the water; and athena for conrad, wise beyond his years. 

yes, your heart did skip a beat, because of what a perfect coincidence — that conrad was essentially the annabeth to your percy. when would the two of you share the best underwater kiss of all time? 

after a fun-filled afternoon, you each took home a necklace filled with clay beads, as was tradition at the fictional camp half-blood. even after summer ended, you would always wear yours in between swim competitions and practice. somewhere along the way, you misplaced it; it was probably left on the chlorine soaked floor of a locker room. you wondered if the others still had theirs, if conrad even remembered. 

he’s looking at you now with such wistfulness, you have a feeling he does. when he looks at you like that, it’s easy to forget that you’re mad at him and he broke your heart. scratch that: you’re mad at him because he broke your heart. 

and, not that it solves everything between you, but he’s here and didn’t have to be, and that maybe possibly heals something inside you. 

before you can continue the conversation, a sudden click indicates that the gas tanks are full, just in time for your siblings and their friends to exit the convenience store, carrying a significant haul of snacks and drinks. 

your brother hands you the sour patch kids and m&m’s, and you toss the bag of m&m’s at conrad, which he catches effortlessly. you rip open the package with your teeth and stuff a few of the sour candies in your mouth as everyone piles back into their respective cars.

you open the door to get in the driver’s seat, but the passenger side is empty. that’s when you notice that your sister and devi were still walking back from the store, taking their time. your sister laughs a little louder than usual, her smile a bit brighter when devi bends down to steal a sip of her drink. she’s wearing a jacket that you’ve never seen and probably belongs to devi, and your sister’s pair of sunglasses now rests on devi’s head. technically the sunglasses were yours, before you passed them down to your sister, but still — it’s adorable. devi winks at your sister before slipping into the backseat of conrad's car. your sister sighs contently before freezing at the realisation that you witnessed the moment between them.

"what?" she asks, a little flustered.

something makes you glance over your shoulder at conrad, who you now realise had seen the interaction between your sister and devi as well. beside him, the door to the driver’s side is also open, but he doesn’t get in. instead, conrad raises his eyebrows at you and smiles knowingly.

“nothing,” you say, smiling back at conrad, then at your sister. “but hurry up, if you want to make it to the falls before sundown.”

your sister mumbles something and gets in the car, while you check the route one more time. you tell conrad which one has the least amount of traffic, and soon enough, you’re on the road again.

conrad follows closely behind you, never allowing more than a car between before catching up. you glance in the rearview mirror and see your brother belting the words to what you assume is the percy jackson musical, and conrad is even bopping his head along. in your car, your sister is busy reading the song of achilles while the others in the back are relatively quiet. 

“so what’s going on with you and discount james dean?” your sister suddenly asks. she puts her book down, reaches over into the cupholder to grab a few sour patch kids. 

you laugh at the nickname, even if the answer disappoints you, just a bit.

“nothing.” 

out of the corner of your eye, you can glimpse your sister roll her eyes. 

“that seems to be your favourite word today,” she notes.

“fine, how about this for a change of pace….there was definitely something earlier between you and devi.”  

your sister’s jaw drops and she turns around to see if her friends heard, but khadija is asleep and leo has his headphones on, looking down at his phone.

“y/n!” 

“what!” you mock her incredulous tone. “you’re not fooling anyone.”

“i’m not…we’re not…” your sister stumbles over her words, turning her head sharply to face out the window. she plays with the sleeve of devi’s jacket, which she’s still wearing despite it almost being 85 degrees. the same music as before fills the space, and hayley kiyoko sings about girls liking girls as you wait for your sister to answer. 

she finally sighs when the song ends. “i like her, okay? but we’re just friends.”

at her words, you’re overwhelmed by an eerie sense of deja vu. if you could have done things differently, maybe you would have. and maybe, just maybe, you can help your sister have a better outcome — whatever that means for her. 

“look, kid, i know it feels like the end of the world, but you have options,” you promise. “one, you tell her and she doesn’t feel the same way; your relationship is forever ruined and your other friends have to choose sides —”

“y/n! seriously?”

“i’m just preparing you for the worst case scenario,” you defend, exiting the highway. “the best case scenario is that you tell her how you feel, or she feels the same way and beats you to it, and it all works out. and there is, of course, the secret third option.”

“what’s that?”

you shrug. “easy. you never cross that line.” you follow the signs that lead you to your destination.

“and bottle up my feelings forever,” your sister grumbles. “is that what you and conrad did?”

you make a right into the campground and put the car in park; conrad’s car pulls up next to you a few seconds later. you turn off the engine.

“not exactly.”

_________________________________________

you and conrad unpack the trunks as your siblings and their friends set up their tents. you hear their giddy banter as they plan how to spend the rest of the afternoon, as well as the sleeping arrangements. you smile to yourself when you hear devi suggest that she and your sister share a tent. the cars are pretty much empty except for some food to keep away animals, but you notice that not everything made the trip.

you double check your car, then conrad’s, before calling over your brother.

“yo, what happened to my bag?” you ask him. 

“i thought it was your swim stuff, so i took it out of the trunk,” he explains. “did you need it?”

“oh no, no. it just had all my clothes, my sleeping bag and my tent,” you say sarcastically. “no big deal.”

your brother gives you a thumbs up, clearly not getting the message. he seems more interested in kai, who's currently unpacking his guitar.

“cool,” he says before walking back to his friends. 

you huff and close your trunk. at least there is some balance in the universe: the mosquito repellant was in your bag, and your brother is usually their favourite meal. you always have afterbite, or you would have, if you had your stuff with you. 

thankfully, you had your bathing suit underneath your clothes, and you could sleep in the backseat, even if it wasn’t the most comfortable…

“everything okay?” conrad sneaks up behind you.

“turns out none of my stuff is here.” you shrug. “but it’s fine.”

“i mean, we could share my stuff,” conrad offers, lifting up his bag. knowing him, he’s probably overprepared and carefully packed, even with only an hour’s notice.

you look at him for a second. 

“let’s sort that out later, yeah?” you decide, ignoring how the prospect of wearing his clothes, sharing a tent with him, makes your heart beat faster. “i’m itching to go for a swim.”

taking advantage of the late afternoon sun, you all slather on sunscreen, throw on colourful swimsuits with sunglasses, and relax near the water. it’s only a short walk away from where you’d set up camp, and all your tents (well, except yours) are still in view. your brother, leo, and khadija are sitting down on their towels while playing cards. kai has borrowed your sister’s copy of the song of achilles to read. your sister and devi are, splashing each other in the water. conrad is reading a worn of stephen king’s it, a bottle of lemonade resting next to him.    

khadija brought her wireless speaker, and out of all your siblings’ friends, you’re thankful that she has the best taste in music. “this is the day” by the the plays in the background of everyone’s laughter and playful banter. you swim idly in the water, let your skin absorb the sunlight, and take it all in.

as much as you were stressed this morning, you’re practically floating with joy now. you feel like a kid again — and it finally feels like summer. 

your eyes land on conrad once more. he sits in the shade and you’re craving a sip of his drink, so you get out of the water and settle down next to him like it’s the most natural thing for you to do. you’re dripping on his towel, but he doesn’t seem to care; he hands you the bottle of lemonade without a word. you take a sip, surprised that it’s slightly bitter. 

“does this have vodka in it?” you cough. 

“yeah,” conrad answers, putting his book down. he takes off his sunglasses and rests them on his head. “i can get you something else, if you want.”

you shake your head and take another sip. “it’s fine. just don’t let the kids drink any alcohol, okay?”

“i won’t.” he offer you a wry smile. “but you know they’re not kids, right? they’re teenagers.”

“it feels weird calling them teenagers,” you say. he’s sitting up with his knees bent, and you lay down next to him, but not before stealing his sunglasses to shield your eyes. the sun moved slightly, and starts to peek through the leaves of the tree that was providing shade.

“just because we grew up, doesn’t mean they have to," you add once you're comfortable. 

conrad hums. you tilt your head to look at him and notice his eyes lingering on the tattoo below the band of your lime green bikini top. you smile — he blushes, then looks away. conrad takes the lemonade bottle back from you and swallows a mouthful. you close your eyes, let the sun wash over you.

“my mom told me you got into stanford,” he says suddenly. “that’s really cool that you get to go to california. just like you wanted, right?”

“i thought you hated horror,” you say, referencing the book you saw him reading earlier. you desperately want to change the subject — your father is still pushing princeton because of their swim team rankings, and your mother is too busy spending her free time in bars to really care. needless to say, where you’re going to college isn’t a topic you want to discuss, unless you’re looking to ruin this perfect sunny afternoon.

conrad just looks at you for a second before playing along.

“i usually do, but this guy on my football team wouldn’t shut up about stephen king, so i thought i’d give it a try. you’ve read it?”

“no, but i saw the movies. i cried so much in it: chapter two, like i was practically choking on tears in the middle of this dark theatre. my ex had no idea why i was crying so much.”

“why did you cry so much?”

you open your eyes. it takes you a beat to respond, because you never really thought about it that deeply. by now, the song has changed to david bowie’s ‘heroes,’ and watching your siblings and their friends goof off in the middle of summer makes you feel like a background character in a coming of age movie, when five years ago you would have been one of the main characters. you miss those days, almost as much as you miss what you had with the boy next to you.

“because it reminded me of this,” you admit. 

conrad lets out a small chuckle. “did i miss the summer where we fought a killer clown?”

“no, smart ass,” you shove his leg playfully. “but there were other things that were just as intimidating. like, parents who were jerks with soul-crushing expectations, and younger siblings who needed to be taken care of. drinking problems, cancer diagnoses, divorces. just…everything, you know? it was summer, we were kids, and things were just scary sometimes, but we always faced it together. and, then…”

“we grew up,” conrad finishes. 

“yeah,” you muse. you lift the sunglasses off your face to look at conrad, and he’s already gazing down at you. if you closed your eyes again, you could imagine laurel and susannah sitting by the water and gossiping, steven and jeremiah diving underwater to try and catch a fish with their bare hands, and belly laying in the sun while reading a romance novel she's probably too young to read. but all you see now is conrad, smiling at you softly with the golden sunlight shining behind him, and it makes your heart ache. 

belly mentioned that they hadn't been back here since you stopped coming to cousins. because it wasn't the same.

your voice drops to a whisper. “i'm sorry i ruined it."

"don't give yourself so much credit." his smile at you sadly. "we both made things messy; i should be sorry, too."

"are you?" 

he hesitates, finishes off the bottle of lemonade. 

"yeah," he finally says. "i'm sorry."

and it doesn’t feel like enough, but instead of worrying about what would happen tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after, you just focus on today. you relax back down on the towel next to conrad, and let the sunshine and sounds of summer fun wash over you.

the afternoon fades into the evening, and once everyone's dry, you get started on dinner, then dessert.

it's so familiar: the warm glow of the campfire, the smell of burnt marshmallows, the slight itch on your skin from where a mosquito must have bitten you, the pressure of conrad's knee pressed against yours. 

you get up for more graham crackers, and your sister follows you. 

"so, i hear you and conrad are sharing a tent," she teases. "you're welcome."

"why would i thank you?" you wonder, biting into a graham cracker. 

a wicked smile appears on your sister's face. "well, i was the one who told our dear brother that you wouldn't need your bag. i figured your boyfriend would have everything you need."

"conrad's not my boyfriend," you remind her, a little annoyed. you and conrad made nice earlier, but the peace between you is precarious. you aren't particularly thrilled to be in a situation where you're confined to close quarters together — much less now that you know it's been fabricated by your own sister.

"so then why are you and conrad sleeping together in a one person tent?" she challenges, crossing her arms.

"do you want me to sleep outside and get eaten by werewolves?" 

your sister rolls her eyes, but you notice how she shudders just a little bit. 

"those don't exist," she declares, her voice a little shaky. your sister is old enough to know that monsters aren't real, but you still get a kick out of scaring her - especially when she's done something to frustrate you.

"oh, sure they do," you reply easily. conrad arrives at the table next to you just in time, probably to check on those graham crackers you'd promised to get. "stardust falls is crawling with werewolves, right con?"

"no," he answers. your sister sighs with relief too soon, because conrad continues. "only on the full moon…." he makes a big show of pulling down his sleeve and checking his watch. "which is tonight, if i remember correctly." 

"but, don't worry," you wink at your sister. "devi will protect you."

there's a moment of silence between the three of you, before you and conrad burst out laughing. 

"you guys are the worst!" your sister groans. you and conrad are still laughing as she grabs an unopened bag of marshmallows and snatches the pack of graham crackers from you before storming away. 

"thanks,” you say once you’ve both calmed down. 

he grins at you, reaching over to grab an orange. “my pleasure.” 

you smile back at him before walking back to the campfire, already feeling warmth spread through your chest.

_________________________________________

when the night is at its darkest, everyone decides that it’s probably time for bed. you triple check to make sure the fire is out and all the food is away, and then everyone goes into their tent — with you as the exception.

you and conrad never circled back to whether or not you’d be staying in the tent with him, so you end up staying out by the water. 

there’s still some rustling and whispers from the tents behind you, but mostly you’re left with the soft trill of crickets, and what sounds like an owl in the distance. you’re still wearing your bikini top and cutoff shorts, even though there’s a cool breeze near the water, because you didn’t really have another option. conrad was right earlier — it’s a full moon, and you’re thankful that it provides some light. the sky is clear enough that you can also see the stars. you’re so lost in looking for constellations that you’re startled by the sudden appearance of shadow right next to you.

“shit, conrad. you gave me a heart attack!” you exclaim, just loud enough for conrad to hear and quiet enough to not wake the others.

“sorry,” he whispers back, sitting down next to you with a lantern. “i couldn’t sleep.” conrad tilts his head up. “but, i come bearing gifts.”

conrad hands you one of the mugs he’s holding — not the usual thermos you’d bring for camping, but ones that you’d find in the kitchen back at the beach house.  

in the dim light, you see that it’s your favorite mug, the same mug you’d dropped during your argument a few weeks ago. the cracked porcelain is so carefully repaired, you wouldn’t have known it was broken. 

“thanks,” you whisper. you take a sip of the lukewarm hot chocolate, but the warmth that spreads through your body is from conrad’s gesture more than anything.

conrad nods and points up at the stars. “find anything good?”

you launch into a detailed explanation of what constellations you’ve found so far — and, when that’s over, you continue making up stories like you’re david attenborough narrating a nature documentary. sure, it’s ridiculous to use a very serious british accent to suggest that king kong and godzilla are immortalised in the night sky, but it makes conrad chuckle, and you decide that’s worth all the stars in the universe.

in between stories, conrad asks: "are you cold?" 

conrad already knows the answer, because he passes you a light jacket without you saying a word. you shrug it on, and practically sink into the familiar fabric.

"so you're the one who had my varsity jacket," you realize. it smells like him now: lemon and sandalwood. 

conrad smiles sheepishly and shrugs. "it's a good jacket — what was i supposed to do, not wear it? you left it last summer."

last summer. 

the words hang heavy between you. 

 “y/n —”

“con —”

you both stop, waiting for the other to continue. there have been enough moments this summer where you’ve cut your heart open and conrad just watched you bleed. a part of you wanted him to do the same, even though you know how much it hurts. 

“why did you come back that night?” he asks. conrad is usually confident, sturdy, reliable; right now, though, he’s the most timid you’ve ever seen him.

“i needed to.”

“why?” he presses.

you bite the inside of your cheek, remembering yourself a year ago and all the pressure you felt, from your parents and coaches. you used to love swimming, and you realized too late how much competing took over your life. things weren’t perfect at home, either, but you were trying your best to guard that truth from your siblings. ironically, that was part of the reason you had distanced yourself from conrad in the months prior: you knew he would worry, and you didn't want to burden him.

you tell bits and pieces of this to conrad, cutting yourself open once more.

“i felt like i was drowning,” you admit. “i tried so hard to hide it —  just keep swimming, right? but it got to be too much. so last summer, when i had a meet nearby, i just had to see you, because i knew that you were the one person in the world who would jump in and save me.”

“i didn’t know.” is all conrad says for a moment. you don’t add anything, because you find yourself in the same position as always: vulnerable, pouring your heart out.

“what you said on the fourth — you were right,” conrad sighs. “when you came last summer, i was already mad at you for not coming back to cousins for so long, and then you were leaving again and i was hurt. and - it’s fucked up, but i wanted to hurt you, too.”

“mission accomplished,” you laugh sadly.

“i shouldn’t have said what i said that morning last summer, and i shouldn’t have ignored you after.”

“you shouldn’t have ignored me this summer, either” you add. you can’t help calling him out for his shitty behaviour lately as well.

“hey, you ignored me, too,” he points out. “and, yeah, maybe i deserved it. there’s just a lot going on and….” conrad trails off, his gaze fixed on something in the distance, where a sliver of golden sunlight peeks through the horizon. you and conrad must have been talking for hours because morning is now just around the corner. “i know i was a jerk. just please know how sorry i am — for everything.” 

you’re about to say something, but you can’t seem to find the right words. i'm sorry too didn't feel like enough. instead, you reach out and grab conrad’s hand. it’s cold in yours, but you don’t care.

“i can’t lose you,” conrad whispers, almost choking on the words. he squeezes your hand. “i can’t lose you, too.”

“i’m here, connie,” you whisper back. with your other hand, you brush some hair out of his eyes before using your thumb to wipe a stray tear from his cheek.  “and i’m really glad you’re here, too.”

throughout the entire conversation, you and conrad had moved closer together — now, your shoulders are touching and your left leg is bent over his right one. 

“did you mean what you said on the fourth?” conrad asks, his eyes searching yours. “do you regret that night?”

“i’m guessing you mean the us-having-sex part?” you reply, a gentle smirk on your face. 

conrad nods. he’s blinking faster than usual, and you can tell he’s anxious to hear your answer.

“if it ruined things between us, then i would,” you admit. you realize then that your hand is still on his cheek; you remove it, but keep the other intertwined with his. “tell me it didn’t ruin things between us, and maybe i’ll change my mind. i mean, do you regret it?”

conrad smiles at you, his shoulders relaxing. “no. that’s one thing i don’t think i’ll ever regret. that’s another thing you were right about — that night meant something to me. it meant everything.”

your heart skips a beat at the way he looks at you, tenderly, waiting for you to say something.

"yeah, me too. or, me neither. i mean, i’m sorry -” now, it’s your turn to stumble over your words, nerves getting the better of you - you take a deep breath to calm yourself. “i’m sorry for not being here; i’m sorry for hurting you; and i’m sorry for making you feel like i didn’t care, because that’s further from the truth.”

“i appreciate it,” conrad replies sincerely. “but i think we’ve apologized to each other enough for one night.”

you laugh. “yeah, i guess you’re right about that one. have any alternatives, fisher?”

conrad reaches up to caress your cheek, a gentle gesture that contrasts the mischievous smirk on his face. his eyes fall to your lips, then back to yours. “i can think of a few —”

you kiss him before he finishes his sentence.

maybe you'd never shared an underwater kiss, but kissing conrad feels as dynamic and unpredictable as the ocean. 

when you kissed last summer, it was like a wave breaking onto the shore: the built up anticipation finally coming to fruition. 

earlier this summer, at nicole’s party, kissing him felt dangerous, like swimming out into the turbulent water and realizing you’re in too deep. 

right now, his lips on yours feel like floating in water on a warm summer day. 

conrad slips his hand underneath your jacket, and you shiver when he touches your bare skin, right under the band of your bikini top where your tattoo is. you shift ever so slightly and suddenly you're tangled in his lap, feeling him strong and sturdy beneath you. one of your hands is on his thigh, while the other tangles into his hair. you tug the strands just the way you remember him liking it; he groans and kisses you with more intensity, a calm sea gradually becoming more rough.

once you’ve run out of air, you pull apart ever-so-slightly, appreciating his swollen lips, pink cheeks, and tousled hair in the early morning sunlight. you could do this for hours — drowning in him — and you're about to do it again, too, before you’re shocked back into reality.

“i knew it!” you hear your sister yell in the distance. she then adds something about your brother owing her ten dollars. you make a mental note to get them back later for betting on your love life. 

conrad laughs against your lips, then pulls away. you get up and offer him your hand, which he accepts with a smile. 

“you might wanna…” you gesture towards his messy hair, and he blushes even more despite how much he enjoyed it earlier. 

“right.” he clears his throat, runs a hand through his hair to tame it. 

“i’m gonna go get started on breakfast,” you say before walking a few steps closer to the campsite. 

you turn back around to conrad, who was frozen in place, looking at you carefully. his posture is stiffer than before, and it takes you a second to realize why: he’d been here before. he’d watched you leave one too many times.

not this time, though. this time, you reach out your hand — a peace offering, a promise. 

summer will end soon, and maybe you aren’t quite sure what the future holds once it does.

“so, are you coming with me or not?” 

but you do know this: when you get back to the beach house, you’ll go surfing with the fisher boys, watch movies and eat sour candy with belly, play video games with steven and jere. you’ll sneak out to meet conrad, then watch the sunrise together. the five of you will have bonfires on the beach, maybe even inviting your siblings and their friends, and roast marshmallows. susannah will host another pool party and you’ll feel conrad’s arm wrapped around your waist; he’ll kiss your cheek, sitting on the edge of the pool, and you'll jump in the water, bringing him under with you, before kissing him back. 

you'll spend one particular night in conrad's bedroom, hands and lips all over each other, trying to keep quiet, and when you search his drawers for a condom, you'll find the same necklace that you, jeremiah, steven, and belly were gifted. it holds faded clay beads painted with various symbols - a turquoise trident, a crashing wave, a rainbow, a starfish. you'll think back to how the tradition started at belly's percy jackson themed birthday, when you and conrad were 11, and susannah would give one to each of you at the end of each summer. there will be a sharp pain in your heart when you notice that some beads are missing, the years don't add up, but you'll realize, prompted by conrad's deep voice calling you back to bed, that you might be able to make up for lost time.

you'll soak up as much sunshine as you can. you’ll squeeze out every ounce of summer, and then some. you'll dust off old traditions, and make some new ones, too. you'll fill those necklaces with more clay beads.

and you'll always - always - come back home.

[waitmyturtles]

SOME GOOD SHOWS THAT I LIKED IN 2023! (AND SOME THAT I DIDN'T)

I watched A LOT of stuff that did not originally air in 2023 by dint of my Old GMMTV Challenge. This list is inclusive of this recognition!

THE BEST SHOW I WATCHED THIS YEAR: HE'S COMING TO ME

I have no other words: this is my favorite Thai BL of all time. Perfect length, perfect plot, perfect celebration of Thai culture, perfect acting, the greatest coming out scene of all time, the BEST of the best BL moms. Perfection.

THE OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THIS YEAR: BAD BUDDY

I don't even want to think about how many words I've written on Bad Buddy this year, but they're well deserved for this REMARKABLE show. I've got a thing for shows by Aof Noppharnach that feature Ohm Pawat, what can I say!

THE MOST INFLUENTIAL SHOW(S) I WATCHED THIS YEAR: LOVE SICK AND SOTUS

The influence of Love Sick and SOTUS can be seen in SO MANY Thai BLs, even through today. Without having watched these two shows to start my OGMMTVC project, I wouldn't have the context for what later shows like Bad Buddy and Theory of Love were commenting on by way of their content and structures. Love Sick in particular was a HELL of a lift -- but I am damn glad I watched it, and I certainly feel nostalgia for it today.

Honorable mentions of influential pieces that had impacts on Thai BLs: Love of Siam and Dew the Movie

MY OTHER FAVORITE OLD SHOWS I WATCHED: UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN AND THEORY OF LOVE

BANGERS!!!

If New Siwaj ever tops Until We Meet Again, I'll fly to Bangkok and give him a gold medal. That long-ass show, 17 EPISODES, I WANTED MORE! OhmFluke's chemistry was great, the story delved SO deeply into historical homophobia and how culture and acceptance changes over time -- scrumptious. Theory of Love, man, the way this show ate up implicit compassion bias and gave it right back to us. I loved it. KHAI FOREVER!

THE BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: MOONLIGHT CHICKEN

Not only was Moonlight Chicken my first real live fandom experience on Tumblr, it was a hell of an amazing show, incorporating so much of what I love particularly about Thai BLs, and how many Thai BLs do not shy away from celebrating Asian cultural touchpoints. From exploring Jim's internalized homophobia by way of his rural upbringing, to juxtaposing Pattaya's spiritual symbols with growing development that upends older strains of local culture, Moonlight Chicken offered a lovely commentary on what it means to be queer in an ever-changing Thailand.

THE OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: WHAT DID YOU EAT YESTERDAY?/KINOU NANI TABETA? SEASON 2

BRILLIANTLY ACTED by literally the best actors in the Asian BL game: we are blessed that Nishijima Hidetoshi and Uchino Seiyou have given so much to this franchise. It's hard to write about this show because it's so perfect -- it needs no extraneous words. Plot, pacing, acting, character development, gratuitous food shots. It has it all.

THE OTHER OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: I CANNOT REACH YOU

Just like Bad Buddy looked at Thai BL tropes in the eye and said, "over my Nong Nao," I Cannot Reach You asked Japanese BLs about the efficacy of almost every trope we've gotten used to, and questioned them with efficiency. The biggest shocker for me? REAL COMMUNICATION, encouraged by the CIPHER, Hosaka, that allowed the two lead protagonists to confirm their love and understand each other. It was straightforward and FUCKING GOOD.

A SHOW THAT AIRED IN 2023 THAT I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ABOUT YET, THAT I NEED TO REWATCH IN CHRONOLOGY, THAT ALSO DID SOME TROPE/GENRE ASS-KICKING THAT I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT: LA PLUIE

La Pluie was FEARLESS. The show had a LOT to say about romance and soulmates not being as much of a realistic thing as content-makers... and, frankly, majority society would like us to think. La Pluie made its characters WORK for love and understanding, and had us viewers face our implicit biases about how romantic content should and could work. I watched this show out of order of the OGMMTVC watchlist to see it it was one of the best of the year, and it certainly is. I'm planning a deep rewatch for early 2024 to pen my words on it.

A SHOW THAT ALMOST TOPPED MY 2023 LIST BUT GOT DOCKED BECAUSE I ENDED UP LIKING THE NOVEL A LOT BETTER: I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR

@neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan know that I flipped THA FUCK out over this show -- FABULOUSLY acted by Nonkul Chanon and Bright Rapheephong, FABULOUS cinematography, great story up until the end of the series. My fangirling led me to read the original novel by Violet Rain, and -- I found out that Jom was a lot more damn sassy than we got in the show! Tee Bundit's penchant for sadness won. This is not to dock the show, but the novel had more than enough material to carry the series through without repeating themes in the end. So it fell on my 2023 list, womp womp. BUT I STILL LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS SHOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG.

TWO SHOWS THAT I'M SUPER GLAD I CAUGHT UP WITH WHILE THEY WERE AIRING: THE EIGHTH SENSE AND BE MY FAVORITE

Be My Favorite looked at Krist Perawat's checkered past as a BL idol and said: we are going to examine this and make an honest BL out of inspiration from it. It wasn't a perfect show, the time travel shit didn't end up adding up in the end, BUT -- excellent acting from two GMMTV VETS made up for those tangles, and I loved the contextual philosophical references throughout the series. The Eighth Sense looked at the tug-of-war that Korean BLs have with K-dramas and their tropes and said, actually? We will have these dudes full-frontal kiss, and placed that energy against commentaries on mental health, both topics that Korea hasn't quite embraced as quickly as other countries.

HONORABLE MENTIONS OF OTHER AWESOME SHOWS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE AIRED IN 2023

Make It Right, Our Dating Sim, Dark Blue Kiss, Gay OK Bangkok, Dirty Laundry, 10 Years Ticket, I Told Sunset About You, I Promised You the Moon, 3 Will Be Free, Lovely Writer (underrated?!), Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars (UNDERRATED!), and Manner of Death.

And the shows that are airing that I know will stay with me well into 2024: Last Twilight and Cherry Magic Thailand.

I had fun!

WHAT ELSE, WHAT ELSE: THE "NO" SHOWS: THE PROMISE AND STEP BY STEP

I'm not even hyperlinking my thoughts on these shows, nor gifting them with gifs. Insert Bugs Bunny NOOOOOO gif here! We got Man Trisanu, though.

THE SHOW I WAS THE MOST OBVIOUSLY DISAPPOINTED BY: ONLY FRIENDS

Despite my passionate disappointment for this show and how it ended: in the context of the OGMMTVC, Only Friends is still an incredibly important inclusion to the list. Some amazing Tumblr bloggers offered commentary that the bias against sex that OF contained within the show was actually importantly and culturally contextual to the still-conservative state of acceptance that Thailand is currently in (here and here for more reading).

Only Friends reminded us that despite any kind of marketing that we here on Tumblr, as a majority non-Thai audience, may receive about a Thai show -- that we are still not fully plugged into the non-verbal expectations of what a show like OF could promise to do, and to be okay when it doesn't reach those heights. In light of the seemingly pro-sex marketing blasts that previewed the series before its airing, OF ultimately seemed to want to take casual sex, chew it up, and spit it out. There might be reasons why that happened that we just don't know about as outsiders to Thailand. But as an Asian-American viewer that was hoping for neutral -- and maybe even supportive -- commentary on single folks having casual sex without judgement, OF did not deliver for me.

I'm ending the year reading Dr. Thomas Baudinette's book, Boys Love Media in Thailand, the first book-length ethnographic study on the impact of BL on queerness, media, and more in Thailand and across Asia. Baudinette comes from the world of Japanese queer media studies -- as someone who came to Thai BLs this year from Japanese BLs, I appreciate his trajectory. It's clearly a necessity for me to read this book in the context of the OGMMTVC, to understand how Thai BLs have changed over time, and to understand the incredibly larger impact of heterosexual/heteronormative media and themes on Thai media as a whole, as larger and larger swaths of Thai, Asian, and international societies welcome and watch BLs with open arms.

All of this feeds into my ever-growing body of knowledge about the impact of Thai BLs, both in Thailand and across Asia, as Baudinette writes about, and how these shows have and are developed/developing over time. It's been an AMAZING YEAR of watching old and new dramas for me, and I'm looking forward to seeing how the genre grows even more in 2024.

I also made AMAZING FRIENDS on Tumblr -- y'all know who you are! What a year of growth and discovery for me: this has been a fabulous experience, and I'm looking forward to even more growth in the new year!

[lilbittymonster]

Day 3: Tempest

Read on AO3

“We need to go. Now.”

“You sound awfully concerned, Kitali. I doubt that-”

“I can think of only one other wandering dragonslayer, and they didn’t hire me,” she interrupted. “We need to go.”

She strode out of Reunion’s walls and gave a sharp whistle for her yol. The massive bird landed a few yalms before her, and Orn Khai wheeled about as she mounted. With a great rush of air the sprawling grasslands dropped out from beneath her. Gripping the leather collar, she directed them to fly northwest through the fingers of Ceol Aen, scanning below for any sign of a hunting party or Faunehm herself.

A flash of movement caught her eye as a lone figure sprang from one outcropping of rock to another, and something in her chest twisted painfully.

“Where is she?!” Orn Khai said over the wind as they wheeled. “We must find her before that hunter does!”

“Or we just stop him ourselves.”

Kitali leaned forward, bringing the yol back down to the grass in a buffeting of feathers, and dismounted. The single dragoon off in the distance grew steadily closer. There was no possibility he hadn’t seen them. The setting sun was still leaking through the mountains as he approached, and Kitali could see the exact moment he recognised her in the change of his stride.

“Tis good to see you again, Kitali,” Estinien said once he was within speaking distance.

A writhing knot of emotions welled like a tempest wind at the back of her throat.

You left I’m glad you aren’t dead why did you leave you look happy for once why didn’t you say anything-

I missed you.

“You have new armour,” is what she said instead.

He looked down at the suit of deep indigo and gold. “Aye, ‘twas a gift from Hraesvelgr.”

“I wasn’t aware the two of you were on speaking terms,” Kitali scoffed.

“Nor I,” Estinien shrugged. “But I’m hardly one to turn down a gift when offered. Certainly not from a member of the First Brood.”

“You are the hunter tasked with killing the dragon, yes?” Orn Khai interjected without preamble.

“...Aye. And I assume you are here for the same reason, then? Azure Dragoon habits die hard, it seems.” He frowned. “Although, I suppose neither of us still hold that mantle anymore.”

“Speak for yourself,” Kitali said flatly.

Estinien opened his mouth to reply, but a squawk from Orn Khai stopped him short.

“The Azure Dragoon of Ishgard?! Both of you?!”

“And who exactly is your diminutive companion, here, Kitali?” Estinien asked.

“This is Orn Khai,” Kitali said. “Friend of Heustienne. He’s the reason I’m here.”

“We’re searching for my father’s lost consort!” Orn Khai piped up, his shock quickly forgotten. “And we found her, though she’s been afflicted by some terrible agony and wouldn’t speak to us. Not even my voice could reach her. I think her long years of isolation from Father have taken their toll on her.”

“And you journeyed all the way here from Dravania? A desperate search indeed. It seems the fates would have it that we met this day, for word of this dragon only reached mine ears not long after arriving here in the Far East. It had been my intention to act as intermediary between dragon and man, assuming the beast could be reasoned with. If not, I was prepared to brandish my lance.”

Kitali’s gaze flicked to the blade that loomed above him on his back, still twisted by Nidhogg’s touch as it had been on the Steps.

“Regardless,” Estinien said, catching her gaze wandering, “I would wager the young one has the right of it. And what’s more, she doubtless still suffers from Nidhogg’s hateful dirge. To think she was able to resist the call speaks to great strength of will.”

“But she would still not listen to me!” Orn Khai lamented. “How can we tell her she can return home to Dravania if she will only try to kill us?”

“I can think of but one way we can still save her,” Estinien said. “We weaken her enough that she is willing to listen to reason.”

“I already tried,” Kitali said. “She didn’t seem interested.”

“I very much doubt repeating the attempt will change anything,” Orn Khai added dejectedly.

“And I do not advocate for a repeat approach, little one. I would have you use your roar. I have experienced first hand the power of a wyrm’s roar, and have little doubt that that is the only way we can hope to reach her.”

“But…..I have never roared before,” Orn Khai said.

Estinien gestured between Kitali and himself. “You have the two dragoons who bested Nidhogg at your side. You have naught to fear.”

“I-I shall do my best. Should we fail, I do not think we shall have a second attempt. Pray lend me your strength, Azure Dragoons.” Orn Khai raised his head, searching. “Faunehm is this way, I believe,” he said before flying off into the ravine.

Estinien turned to Kitali, his expression uncharacteristically softened. “Shall we?”

She couldn’t stop the answering smile that pulled at her own lips. “Let’s not keep her waiting, then.”

[twig-tea]

My Ride Re-Watch Self-Reflection

This is going to be self-indulgent and long, apologies in advance!

Something you need to know about how I watch shows: I care the most about character arc. I prioritize character arc over plot holes, pacing, and possibly even politics. This is not an endorsement for watching shows this way AT ALL and it certainly isn't a moral judgment on any viewers that do or don't do this, it's just how my brain is wired (and it's not an objective judgment on shows, either! Not every character actually needs to grow--even though typing that out is giving me hives lolol). So when a character does something that I think is either out of character or unearned by the narrative, I get annoyed; if they don't change or they keep making the same mistakes I lose interest; and if a character arc is awesome, I forgive a lot of things that can make shows unwatchable to other people.

I watched My Ride as it aired in 2022 and I was so in love with that series, it was poised to become a favourite. I was so burnt out on series that had a misunderstanding leads to breakup in the second-last ep, and this show has sidestepped that with the conversation about Khai by having Mork insist on talking right away! Plus Tawan, through the entire fiasco with Por, was always direct, he didn't run from Por and he didn't ignore his own suspicions or jump to conclusions, he sought Por out to ask directly: "Are you mad at me?" "Did I do something wrong?" "Are you seeing someone else?" I loved both Tawan and Mork so much, they clearly deserved one another and deserved happiness.

And then at the end of ep 9/start of ep10, Tawan sees Mork hug Fern and runs away, quits his job before he finishes his certification and internship?! And Mork is the one who the narrative seems to think has to prove his commitment to their not-yet-a-relationship when he's been the one committed this whole time? I had 2gether flashbacks and I did not like it. I didn't like either side couple's resolution, I didn't like that Tawan had regressed in a way that didn't feel (to me, at the time) earned, and I didn't like that Mork didn't have any (again, to me at the time) character growth.

So I never rewatched it. I remembered the first 9 eps fondly, loved so much of what the show had in it, especially Cheep and Dej and the characters of Mork and Tawan, and recommended it when it came up, but always hesitated to put it on a favourites list, and I struggled with the ending and how I felt about it--at least partially because I suspected it was a me thing rather than a show thing. And then, after La Pluie, I realized this screenwriter was good and trusts their audience and I should give it another chance and maybe pay more attention. Plus the re-airing was perfectly timed to start. So I've been (mostly) quietly watching again, and whew I'm so glad I did.

I still don't love the side couples, lets get that out of the way lol [if you don't want to think about these storylines, skip this and the following paragraph]. I think Boss is neurodivergent-coded and you don't get "over" neurodivergence through force of will (at least, not without burnout). Thinking about this couple through the lens of Semantic Error, which you could argue is very similar on paper, Toy tries to pull Boss out of his carefully constructed world, while Jaeyoung tries to make space for himself in Sangwoo's world while doing his best to follow Sangwoo's rules (though he definitely pushes--but contrast Jaeyong moving a single pen to Toy throwing whole shelves of books to the ground). If My Ride had shown that Toy didn't need Boss to completely change, and had them find a way of working through Boss' and Toy's needs to find a new normal together, I would have been much more comfortable with this story. On rewatch, I will say that Toy's initial bribery attempt was not as bad as I remembered, but that man needs to keep his hands off those bookshelves, and the show needs to stop scaring Boss in order to give Toy one redeeming thing to do, as @callipigio said that was not cute.

As for the hets, the only thing I picked up on rewatch that I didn't appreciate the first time was that despite her confidence, Nadia was also not used to being chosen by the men in her life, and so when she saw Mayom had options after coming back from Japan, she assumed he would choose anyone else and that's why she was so upset. And so, the reveal that he got this attention because he was trying to meet her expectations, and that he was thinking of her in Japan and bought her a souvenir, showed he did put her first and did choose her. I just wish Nadia had suffered longer by seeing Mayom being appreciated for the hot, talented, and kind man he is, and had visibly learned something or changed in any way because of it. I don't think she has a satisfying character arc and so I didn't like this story. [again: this is just my taste! Not every story needs to contain personal growth! I am not advocating for this to be seen as a moral judgment! It just means this story was not satisfying for my brain because of it.]

Ok, Mork and Tawan time. This time, on rewatch, I picked up on hints they dropped earlier; that Mork struggled more than I noticed the first time with his bisexual awakening; that Mork didn't like how he hadn't gone to college or university, but he had been willing to make that sacrifice for Fern. How Tawan really missed his family and wanted to eventually practice medicine in Chiang Mai. How Tawan only ran from Mork and Fern after Mork described their relationship as work buddies [he not only calls them friends, he backtracks and says "not even really a friend, I know him from work"! And as @sparklyeyedhimbo pointed out in their rewatch, Mork had literally asked Tawan to co-parent just the day before, so the messages were extremely mixed]. All of this feeds into what happens in eps 9-10.

[Mork you were like this even when you were just "workplace associates", stop this foolishness]

Firstly, the timeline of ep 9-10 struck me on this rewatch in a way it didn't when watching the first time. If I'm not wrong, Tawan was already mostly burned out; his heartache led him to use up his accumulated vacation to go home to Chiang Mai, but then came back after just a few days because Mork missed him; then went to see Mork while he was still on vacation, got shocked by the existence of Mork's kid, spent a day or couple of days with them, then made study materials for Mork and Khai (likely because he knew he wouldn't have much time in the future) and then got surprised again by seeing Fern--this would I think still be during the week of his vacation? At that point, he just wanted to go back home to once again lick his wounds but his vacation was over and he had none left (he told us he used it all when talking to his parents at dinner). So in that context, actually, quitting as an instinct makes a bit more sense--I've actually been there, at one point I was going to burn out and put in my notice, and my boss stepped in and told me to take leave instead. I'm really glad his advisor was able to do the same thing my boss did for me, and talk him out of quitting but encouraging him to take leave instead so that he could go home without messing up his future.

And in paying better attention, I realized this time around that for Tawan, going back home rather than confonting Mork both made sense and was good for his character arc. Before this, he'd clearly not been visiting home at least partly because he kept taking shifts for friends, and partly to make time for Por; so after giving up some of his time in Chiang Mai to be with Mork, it makes sense he'd want to be there when he thought he might have read Mork wrong after all. And Tawan pushing and pushing Por to get answers blew up so badly in his face last time, that retreating rather than confronting Mork actually does make sense in context. Also, like Tawan said to Nadia, he was tired of not being put first, and when Mork didn't go after him outside the garage after Fern called him back, Mork had put Fern first in that moment. And up until then the only confessions Tawan (and the audience) has gotten from Mork were in Mork's imagination; he'd flirted but not actually said anything concrete aloud. So Tawan needing something more from Mork to prove that Mork actually does feel the way he's been implying, and he would put Tawan first, is fair and fits what took place in the show, actually--my past self was I think applying an unfair lens on this as a point of convenient dramatic tension. Finally, I realized on this rewatch that Tawan leaving without saying anything, after he knew Mork panicked last time and specifically told him not to do that, could be read as Tawan being a little bit selfish, actually, (which as @bengiyo said these two characters could use more of), and leaving to be chased after could be seen as Tawan (at least subconsciously) indulging a self-indulgent impulse. Having thought that through I now appreciate it as an action of his character arc rather than resenting it.

And now we get to Mork's character arc. Because Mork is already the best boy, so what could his character possibly stand to learn?

This was my thinking on first watch, but on rewatch I think he demonstrates that he grew in a few ways. First, he goes through the self-realization and acceptance of loving another man. I didn't give that journey enough credit the first time around.

Secondly, he re-orients himself after a breakup from a relationship that spanned multiple years. I know a lot of people saw the petrol/gas analog by Dej as learning to love men instead of women, but I saw it as learning to love Tawan rather than Fern--because they are two different people, and they have different things they need from you, and he has all of these learned patterns from his relationship with Fern that he has to unlearn, including putting her feelings first. Going back to the moment when Mork doesn't go after Tawan, if you accept my reading of Uncle Dej's advice, Mork's choice not to go after Tawan but instead to stay with Fern is contextualized through this conversation as Mork falling into old habits and putting Fern's wants and needs over all others including his own. He then corrects this by not agreeing to get back together with her, but not until promising to always be her smile--in other words, he's still struggling with reorienting himself in terms of who Mork is in relation to Fern when not her boyfriend. [This also makes Dej's pointed comment about gas being cheaper than petrol a pointed jab at Fern and her demands of Mork's money specifically, which the petty part of me enjoys.]

Mork also faced his fear of heights for Tawan, though he did that before he even acknowledged he had feelings, so I'm not sure I'm counting that as anything other than Mork continuing to be the best. But when, on the mountain, Mork finally says aloud the thing he's been daydreaming about for at this point months, this is definitely character growth and feeds into my first part about Mork struggling with his feelings for a man. I realized on this rewatch that Mork always talks about his feelings for Tawan as a hypothetical or a question--"Do I like him?" "Could we be together?" "If I do like him, what should I do?" He doesn't state his feelings as a statement except in his imagination (I think--may need to rewatch again to confirm), until the confession on the mountain. So, as @lurkingshan pointed out in her post, My Ride also makes the same point as La Pluie that clear, verbal communication is key to a relationship.

Mork also gets to be a teensy bit more selfish near the end, which I didn't really clock the first watch-through. When Tawan explains why he thought about quitting and how he wanted to relocate to Chiang Mai so that he could help take care of his mother, Mork's wheels started turning and he began planning for their future together up North--again this is not new, Mork planned his future with Fern and her goals in mind so it makes sense he'd be planning his future with Tawan in the same way. Because Mork is best. But! This time he includes in his future plans his goal to get a degree and open a garage of his own. I love this, it's such a small victory but I think it's important for his character that the thing he's seemingly regretted most about his choices (giving up on his own chance to go to school) and that he did for someone he loved (putting them through school) is now something he's doing for himself (as well as for his shared future with his partner). And this also reflects Mork internalizing Dej's point about how he's got to recalibrate--because what Tawan needs from Mork is not the same thing as what Fern needed from him, and these different circumstances allow him to adjust his future plans and fit in his own dreams. Love that for him.

I love that we get the timeskip to see a glimpse into their future, beyond it just being so sweet, it allows us to see the ways in which they've fit together, and how their relationship is not perfect--Tawan forgets their anniversary, Mork is trying to establish himself in a small community that probably does not open easily to outsiders--but it's balanced in that they support each other to make up for one another's weaknesses (Mork doesn't actually care and is happy to be the one who remembers these things; Tawan is happy to pay for the restaurant).

I didn't say anything about the Tawan/Por relationship above because I didn't really catch anything new on rewatch, from the get-go I thought it was so well done. Por is believably self-absorbed and Tawan really does such a good job of trying to do everything right. He talks to him directly and listen to his own instincts, but is surrounded by people (Por, Nadia, Mork) who tell him to let it go and ignore the signs. I continue to love to hate Por. This thread is a little unresolved because Por comes sniffing back around Tawan's ward, but we didn't really need to see Tawan reject Por, which I appreciated as the show writing him off as not a threat. I did pick up more on the glimpses of the kindness that La Pluie shows its female characters in how Fern is treated; Fern is shown to be selfish and materialistic, but also legitimately struggling with their life as-is, and by showing her trying to get Mork back, at least it gives her the credit of letting her realize what she was missing when it was gone. I'm glad La Pluie went further with keeping Nara complex and human.

Finally, I have to shout out how much love this show has for queer community and found family. Cheep and Dej give Mork and Tawan and even Fueang a safe haven to come to when they're hurt and confused, and they give so much advice. Everyone else has said it (I know @chickenstrangers mentions how special it is in their rewatch but I'm sure others have too) but it's worth repeating how much of a difference this makes for these characters.

Fueang and Mork also give one another advice and support, and I think it works well in the show that actually both Fueang and Mork can mostly just give support and some generic advice, but they can't speak from experience the way Cheep and Dej can. Still, the motorcycle gang support Fueang, and then Mork, in getting their respective partners. Tawan's sister knows exactly what is going on and gives Mork a challenge to make sure he's good enough for her brother. Fueang and the gang also show up in Chiang Mai because they're so sure their bro is going to mess up his confession, and then they cheer on the kiss when it does go well.

Mork taking on Khai as his own child when his brother failed to step up is also a beautiful reflection of the love and care his uncles gave to him and modeled for him; he clearly sees them as parental figures and was able to imagine himself as a parent to Khai because of it--and he never questions whether his getting together with a man would have a bad influence on his nephew/adopted son, the way we see Jim struggle with this in Moonlight Chicken, for example. More queer elders in stories please and thank you!

I feel so much less conflicted about this show now that I've gone through this exercise. Feel free to tell me if you think I got too far in my head and overanalyzed lol I'm always open to being told I'm now adding things that aren't there. I just really needed to deconstruct why I had issues last time and what changed for me when I paid more attention. Also, this experience makes me want to binge Step by Step to see if it makes a difference in how I feel about the ending to that show...but I don't think I'm ready for that yet.

And if you read all that, you're awesome.

[iwoszareba]

Knight Commander as Companion

I decided that filling this could be a good way to explain Aqil's whole deal because he wouldn't be all that different as a companion.

template by @dragonologist-phd and you can find blank version here

Name: Aqil Meru son of Bashar Khay

Race: Kitsune

Class: Sorcerer/Oracle

(bloodline: Arcane; familiar: jerboa; mystery: Ancestor; curse: blackened)

Background: Osirion Historian

Appearance:

You can visually check out his character sheet here.

He is rather small in stature (5'3''/160cm) and slight in build but he more than makes up for it with his high charisma.

What remains true for both of his forms is his oracle curse: his left arm and leg look burned and he walks with a visible limp.

He always dresses in a combination of black and white as these are the colours of Nethys. He adds gold to the mix as a treat and wears earrings for special occasions.

If you asked what's the deal with his bag he would tell you that it was white when he bought it but pranksters got to it with fabric dye. He found it amusing that someone considered him dogmatic to the point where a colourful bag would bother him so he started to wear it as a statement.

Favored Weapon/Equipment:

Between his poor physical stats and oracle curse he is not meant for direct combat. But he owns a unique staff that boosts his magic. He also comes with his own bag of holding.

Top Skills: knowledge arcana, knowledge world, lore religion, perception

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

General Personality:

Very curious and energetic. Interest in magic is a given but choose any subject relating to humanities and he is on board to discuss it. Generally personable but can get on some people's nerves with his know-it-all and devil's advocate tendencies.

If you are in the mbti crowd he was designed as an ENTP.

What traits/values do they admire? pursuit of knowledge, magic, family, art and storytelling, faith and/or dedication, independence

What traits/values do they disapprove of? lack of curiosity, suppression of magic, idleness, nobles, big organisations, pointless cruelty

Are they affiliated with any deities?

Extremely Nethysian. Everything about him is entangled in it.

The arcane bloodline of his clan was started by Nethys himself when he granted an ounce of his power to the first Meru and turned her into an oracle. Since then every pure sorcerer born in the family is considered to be blessed by but also a tithe to the All-Seeing-Eye. Alongside coming of age in a special ceremony they are granted the same oracular powers and become connected to the previous Merus (now an outsider and favoured servant). Aqil is the seventh Meru and he is eager to prove that he is worthy of the name.

What do they think of their role in the Crusades, and of sharing the Commander’s Mythic powers? What are their reasons for joining the commander’s party?

He was sent there by his ancestor spirits and he is excited to be a part of the Crusade. Securing his legacy is a big goal for him and he hopes to achieve that by the Commander's side.

He is both suspicious of and fascinated by the mythic powers. He will very early tell you he does not think these powers came from any god, as someone who has been infused with raw divine power for ten years now he considers himself a bit of an expert on the matter.

Who are their friends among the other party members?

Lann: they have kinship in the areas of "care about your people" and "I will do anything to prove myself" but one of them is self-deprecating lawful, while the other is practiced confidence chaotic which makes them a funny pair

Woljif: they are two jokey boys who love telling stories!! also Aqil is genuinely impressed how much Woljif achieved with magic considering his haphazard education

Sosiel: he needs Sosiel, no one else wants to listen to his art history info dumps ;(

Trever: Aqil sees dualities as divine and Trever's story of being a paladin of Shelyn turned Hellknight is certainly a curious one. he hopes Trever will be able to reconcile them eventually

Arueshalae: he roots for her redemption. look at you rediscovering freedom of choice!! he also indulges Arue's interest in mortals because he is interested too and he loves to talk

Ember: he finds her magic fascinating especially considering how little Ember herself seems to understand what she is doing. he also likes to make up little fairy tales for her

What about rivals?

Regill: they are on the opposite sides of lawful-chaotic spectrum, that gets in the way quite a bit

Daeran: they are too similar and too different in uncomfortable ways. like funhouse mirror versions of each other. but they eventually develop a friendship

Camellia: Aqil dislikes nobles until proven wrong and she does nothing that would change his opinion. and then she makes things worse

Wenduag: she would hurt her own tribe if it meant more power for her and in Aqil's eyes that's a big no no >:(

Ulbrig: as a historian Aqil considers him fascinating, on personal level he even finds him likeable, but Ulbrig's hot takes about arcane magic are a lot to swallow

Are they on any councils? If so, what sort of advice do they give?

diplomacy and military

He can offer magical units and solving problems with magic. Other than that his advisory style is: hey let me use my history knowledge to tell you about cool ideas and tricks people pulled off in the past. I think this particular bit could apply to our situation, wanna try it?

Where do they hang out in Drezen? In the Abyss?

Not sure about the Abyss but in Drezen he hangs out with the Storyteller.

What are their idle animations?

I don't think most of these would work in the game proper but I'm just here to give you vibes.

- he untangles his bun, shakes his head a bit and redoes it. why? not sure. it's just as messy as it was before (tho he would make a proper bun with no hair in his eyes before battle or when he is working on something important. that's his serious mode)

- he picks up jerboa from his arm (her name is Ibi btw), puts her on the palm of his hand, pats her head a couple of times and then puts her back on his arm

- he rubs his cursed arm with his other hand and winces slightly

- he sometimes does the confused dog head tilt (true for both kitsune and human form)

- if it's really long idle time he would take out his simsimiyya and play it a bit. he holds the instrument with his left hand and plucks the strings with combination of his right hand and summoned mage hand

If they’re taken to Areelu’s lab, what is their dream?

You find him surrounded by his family, the atmosphere is full of joy and excitement. Then he is approached by a middle aged man and everyone stops talking. You see the resemblance in his features and realise it must be Aqil's father.

Bashar Khay: I keep hearing about your achievements, my boy. I thought it's high time to congratulate you.

Aqil: There is no need! Striving for greatness is what Nethys requires of all his faithful.

Bashar Khay: Even so I wanted you to know that we are all proud of you.

No…

I wanted to say that I’m very proud.

—

After the vision ends you can comment on it.

KC: I know it was just an illusion, but your family seems nice.

Aqil: (smiles wistfully) They are nice and shameless and strong and infuriating and oh so loving. All part of their charm.

or

KC: Really? Aren't you a little too old to do things for your dad's approval?

Aqil: (winces) You speak like someone who has never known the true bonds of a clan.

Do they advise the commander to abandon or keep their mythic powers?

general:

"I know I may be speaking heresy if I advise you against taking the power but the thing is… I also believe in freedom born out of questions and considerations. Power of this magnitude changes a person on a fundamental level. Destroys you and remakes you in its own image. So think carefully. Is this something you wish for yourself? If that is indeed your path then take the power and never look back.

But if you value the unaligned freedom that mortality provides, this is the moment to reclaim it."

aeon:

"You aren't truly considering becoming one with the "cosmic law"? The real Aeons have no other choice than being what they are but if you still have strands of mortality at your core you should know better than wanting to be… that."

Extra facts:

- confirming devil, demon, lich will cause a break up of his romance, he understands if this is the path you envision yourself in but it's not the kind of legacy he wishes for himself

- confirming aeon will cause a very salty break up "I guess the biggest anomaly was me thinking that we could understand each other. I will fix it straight away, your lawfulness!"

- if you go swarm he is super tasty because of all the magic inside him :) but as you devour him you feel deep inside your being that you now have a mortal enemy in his ancestor spirits :))

How/when do they join the Commander’s party?

Soon after you receive the title of Knight Commander you will be informed that an unknown man has arrived and was very insistent that he wants an audience with you. You get a different addition depending on who is still around.

Hulrun: Messenger will mention that the prelate thinks this individual is "highly suspect" and needs to be "dealt with" immediately.

Ramien: Messenger says that the Desnan priest spoke to the man already and thinks you should listen to what he has to say.

Chun Dawei: Messenger adds that the guard captain said that everything seems to be on the level but it's better to not let your guard down completely.

When Aqil introduces himself you can make a knowledge world check, if you pass it you identify him by clothes and accent as someone from Osirion, if you fail you just conclude he must be a foreigner.

In order to explain his situation he tells you about how he started receiving visions from Meru, his ancestor spirits. At first he was not clear on what they meant but when he recognised queen Galfrey herself he realised he was being shown events from the Worldwound and that he was asked to travel here. It was his intention to seek out the queen and to offer his services to her, but visions started to change recently and focused on you instead. With that he describes some events from act 1 as if he was there, including how you have dealt with the Ramien Hulrun conflict. You may express that you believe what he is saying or claim that he is probably lying and just gathered intel beforehand. Either way he gets to the point and says it's his belief that you are marked as an important figure in the events to come and he wishes to aid you. He does a little sales pitch about how he has both arcane and divine magic at his disposal which makes him an invaluable ally.

You can either accept him into your party or you can dismiss him if you prefer.

(if dismissed you can find him again in act 5 and hear what he has been up to on his own)

Describe their companion quest:

This would be a nightmare to implement and idk how to solve the issue of what Camellia can do but that's not my problem. I'm just entertained by the idea of a quest with the same premise having different flavour depending on your earlier decisions. As you may suspect from the previous section the decision in question is how you dealt with Feud of the Faithful.

Set up: Aqil is angry with the Inquisition and generally disheartened. He knows you can't just denounce your allies, nor can you change things in a day. All of this is such a messy matter, but he wishes there was at least something he could do. When a group of arcane casters is wrongly accused of being demon spies he decides he needs to do something to prevent their unfair trail.

Hulrun version: It's Hulrun, he is wrong, you have to Ace Attorney his ass. Have fun!

Ramien version: Our resident beautiful boy is also moved by this situation, you take him with you and go on a Free Willy adventure.

Chun Dawei version: He is willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. But then who is at fault? This is now a buddy cop comedy and you have to find the real culprits.

Regardless of the version you manage to secure the release. It would have a follow up in act 5 where you meet the casters again but i don't have any ideas atm.

Now what quest flags are actually concerned with is Knight Commander’s attitude towards the whole situation. You can support Aqil's care for his fellow arcane practitioners and get his community ending, or you can convince him he should be more concerned with his own pursuits earning you his power ending.

Are they romanceable? Describe their romance quest/scenes if you want!

Yeah! Available for commanders of any gender. But as I said earlier devil, demon, lich and aeon will cause a break up in act 5.

His romance is fairly easy to trigger, he enjoys playful banter the most but also will respond in kind to direct flirting.

—

After that you will get a couple of scenes where he tries to discreetly test the waters, he acts his usual lively self but somewhere in there he tries to determine how you feel about his whole deal. You know the ancestor spirits, divine duties and such.

—

That eventually culminates in him knocking at your door in the middle of the night saying that this may sound strange but he has a story he wishes to tell you.

If you try to dismiss him by saying that it's really not the time or that you are tired he will insist on it claiming that if he doesn't tell it now he may lose the courage to do it at all.

So the story is:

"There once was a boy who lived in an open cage. A strange contraption indeed! For how can you be free and constrained at the same time? But the boy never questioned that, he had taken up residence behind its bars, sometimes he would leave, but always he would return. That was his life. But once the boy grew too big for his cage he was released into the world fully, for the first time. Feverishly drunk on this new feeling he dressed himself in cloaks made of shiny feathers and called himself the freest bird there ever was. He thought he could make this moment last forever. He spinned like a dervish, his feathers shimmering with many colours capturing admiration of those who looked. The boy met many wonderful people and found many wonderful moments. But with every person and every moment he became more and more unable to remove his feathered cloaks. They became yet another cage but this one was different. This one was locked."

You can either figure out that he is talking about himself, or act confused to which he will explain that it's a story about him.

Afterwards he explains the whole thing in plain manner:

"You see, I had what you could call a sheltered childhood. Not due to any malice. When you are marked with destiny since you are five years of age there simply are measures that need to be taken. Lessons that need to be learned. I suppose I missed out on the whole being a child part of one's life but it wasn't that bad of a trade. However, when I was sent off to Absalom to continue my education there… Can you imagine the overwhelming desire to just be someone else? Someone not burdened by expectations. And to my shame I surrendered to it. I thought I can finally experience people as just me. Just Aqil. And it worked great for a while, but what was the truth in that moment became a lie in the long run. All my relationships were built on omission of important parts of me. Were they even real relationships then? What would happen if all was revealed? Questions like that started to plague me and I promised myself if I'm ever to love again… it will be truthful.

You got to know me quite well during our time together. You seemed to show interest, but are you sure this is something you truly want? I mean all of it: my faith, my family, my burdens."

So your options

tell him that you care for him only as a friend:

"Ah. So you're telling me I got too deep in my own head about something? Wouldn't be the first time that happened. I… hope you won't hold this whole emotional display against me."

ask if you can figure it out one day at a time:

"No, I'm sorry, this is not a day by day matter. This is who I am. You can take it or leave it."

agree that his whole deal is a bit much and you can't commit to it:

"I understand. I won't lie, I'm a little miserable right now but I understand. At least we cleared that up and that counts for something. Don't worry it won't affect us working together, your success is still vitally important to me."

say that you care for him, all of him and want to be together:

"Are you sure you considered this carefully? I'm sorry, this makes me sound like I don't believe you. I do believe you. It just feels different than… I'm overjoyed! I truly am! And I'm rambling now, dear gods. Could you find the kindness in your heart to kiss me before I embarrass myself even more."

After that you can bid him good night with a kiss and a warm embrace or kiss him and say that it's late already and he can just stay for the night, with that you have the option to either just cuddle or to sleep with him.

—

In the Abyss you have a convo about how since descending to this plane the connection he feels to Meru has become very faint, it's still there but they feel so hard to reach. He admits it makes him off-balance but he is grateful that he can confide in you about it.

He will also ask how you are holding up and if there is anything he can do.

You can say that simply his presence would be enough: he wraps his arm around you and you chill for a while in companionable silence.

You can ask for a distraction: he will tell you little stories to take your mind off things.

You can say that you need him close: he obliges you and you spend some time together in private.

—

In act 5 he will approach you with a little surprise!!

"I know it's easy to forget romantic gestures in the times of war but I realised you deserve something special. Can you please follow me?"

He takes you to a door leading to a room that you know for sure has nothing inside. "Here." he smiles mischievously.

KC: Oh, I can't wait to see what you came up with.

He winks at you playfully.

or

KC: So your idea of romance involves making out in a broom closet?

Aqil: What? No. I mean it could if you would like it. But not right now.

As you enter the room you are greeted not by cramped walls but a cityscape. If you pass world knowledge check you know it's Sothis, the capital of Osirion, on failure you make a guess maybe it's Aqil's hometown.

"I'm not an expert in illusions but I asked for some help and I think I did quite well."

He closes the door and stands next to you.

"It's one of my memories. We are in the Azghaad's Spire, part of the grand temple of Nethys in Sothis. This section is inaccessible to people outside of the priesthood but a friendly cleric snuck me in one time. He said that as Meru I need to know the city from this perspective. I'm still not entirely sure what he meant by that. A metaphor? A riddle? Maybe just rambling. But the view sure was nice."

KC: This is wonderful! Thank you for doing this for me.

Aqil: It was my pleasure. I'm glad you enjoy it, my dear.

or

KC: This is nice, but I would prefer the real thing.

Aqil: When this war is over, I will give you a tour of the entire city. That's a promise.

or

KC: And yet somehow you are an even nicer view.

Aqil: (laughs) Please my dear, show some appreciation for the craft! You can admire my exquisite features any other day.

"You know, I spent a lot of time in this temple wondering what my life will be like and I have to admit that this crusade was nowhere near anything I ever imagined."

Then you get the standard ordeal (at least from what I've seen of Sosiel's and Daeran's romances) of reminiscing about the things that happened during the game.

And finally:

"I didn't create this illusion just to impress you with my skill or to talk about my past. What I wanted above all else is for you to feel like you are an important part of my world, in more than just words. Today and for as long as fate allows us. [Name], will you marry me?"

What would their ending slides be like?

Power

Fully committed to acquisition of more power and knowledge, Aqil became known as one of the most powerful spellcasters of his time, admired and envied by many. Yet he spends a lot of time alone studying effects of the Worldwound and is considered a bit of an eccentric.

Community

Fully committed to the cause of other practitioners of the arcane, Aqil established a Temple of Nethys in Kenabres and became known as a great teacher and reformer. Despite being deeply proud of the accomplishments of his students he still sometimes wonders if he didn't squander some of his own opportunities.

Hulrun extra: The two of them are still not friends, far from it. But Hulrun seeks Aqil's counsel in the matters of arcane as he trusts his instincts.

Ramien extra: As representatives of their faiths in Kenabres they have reasons to see each other often and eventually they get together. Mwah! (or just become close friends if you were the one to romance Aqil)

Chun Dawei extra: They developed respect for each other during the quest and post game they become good friends and drinking buddies.

Undecided (companion quest left unfinished)

Despite his eagerness to prove himself Aqil could never commit to one path for his future. With his efforts too scattered he never became more than a footnote in history.

Ascension

Aqil meets up with his ancestor spirits to thank them for all their help but also to establish firmly that his duties now lie with the ascended KC. Meru don't mind that in the slightest so they part on good terms with the promise of future cooperation if either of them needs it.

Romance

Stay in Drezen

Very similar to his regular endings, but he saves time for you and makes sure to support you in your endeavours. Always deeply grateful that you have found someone to rely on in each other.

Travel the world

He has a great time travelling and learning new things. He is fascinated by everything the world has to offer and it's made even better by having you at his side.

Power - He focuses on finding new spells and techniques for himself.

Community - He starts writing books so he can share his knowledge with others.

Ascension romance

Even more focused on helping you to adjust to the new life and busies himself with trying to find ways to expand your power and influence.

Aeon no memories

Without the Worldwound that needs to be dealt with, ancestor spirits send him on a quest he always expected: to delve into ancient tombs to discover remnants of long forgotten magic. His successes made him a well known person in Osirion and beyond.

Aeon with memories

Same as above but on top of that he is really mad about the aeon interference and he uses his considerable magic and extra memories to create anomalies and cause trouble for aeons just to be petty about it. He is safe for now but they may get him for it one day.

Any other fun facts?

As a general rule he insists on being referred to with full Aqil Meru. Just Aqil is reserved for family and friends.

—

After going through dialogues about his faith and family, if KC is also a worshipper of Nethys, Aqil will ask them which one they consider more important: destruction or protection. If you pick one of them he will argue the importance of the other and say that while there is no wrong way to revere Nethys, focusing on only one of his aspects can be limiting and short-sighted. If you tell him you believe in the balance between the two he will admit that it is his view as well and that he is glad the Knight Commander understands this important truth.

—

Similarly if KC is a kitsune he will ask where do they hail from. His reactions to different options:

Tian Xia

“Then you are even further from home than I am. If you ever start to miss it do not hesitate to find me. I would love to hear stories about what life is like in Tian Xia.”

Garund

“A fellow Garundi, how wonderful! I would love to ask you more questions but I worry I will start to feel homesick. Maybe we should complain about how cold Mendev is instead.”

Avistan

“How curious. I have to admit my knowledge of kitsune clans of Avistan is woefully lacking. I would love to hear about your experiences if you don't mind sharing!”

Wanderer

“Truly? I know wanderlust is a dear friend for many of us but returning home is what makes it even more gratifying. Or at least I think so. Regardless, I would love to hear about your travels!”

No memory

“How horrible. Who are we without our past? Hmm… There is a spell that helps remember things but it works on a very small scale. Maybe it could be modified? I will look into it.”

—

If I had to write him for real I would have to add an entire section where you ask him why each previous Meru was great. It's a serious case of "do I have it in me to read this all" but if you do you unlock a dialogue option "All of them sound great but I have to say the seventh Meru is still my favourite." which makes him laugh and he gets a little flustered so it was all worth it???

—

He would be a dual-cursed oracle if it was an available subclass for wotr. Blackened is the curse he gets benefits from, while lame is his additional no benefits curse.

—

For all Enigma haters: if you take him with you it will be described that he is fascinated with the place, taking notes and making sketches. He will give you tips for how to solve the puzzles if you ask him.

—

He studied in Absalom and attended a few of Jubilost's lectures before the gnome peaced out to end up in the River Kingdoms. He will make a comment about it if he is in the party during the Jubilost encounter and they will have a little convo with each other.

Provide some dialogue/bark examples!

On select:

- Ready for anything.

- Do you need my magic?

- (clicked too many times) Would you like to hear a story? There once was a mythic hero destined for great deeds but they were too busy bothering a handsome fox magician to actually accomplish anything.

Perception Check Passed:

- The Eye reveals the truth.

- How curious.

Succeeding a skill check:

- I am indeed quite impressive.

- Ha! Well done me.

Failing a skill check:

- Listen, we will laugh when I tell this story later.

- I can try again with more magic.

Low Health:

- Ancestors protect me!

- It's fine. I can heal myself. Unless I can't. Then this will be awkward.

Attacking:

- With these hands we will destroy!

- Destroy and protect!

On critical hit:

- Know the might of Meru!

- Oh I hope someone saw that.

Provide some examples of companion banters!

Aqil: Nobles like you are only interested in people like me when you need our magic. Usually for some inane whim you are overcome with for a moment.

Camellia: I do not know what you speak of. If I ever have a need of you… Your magic will not be the reason.

—

Aqil: Do you ever miss the warm sun of Garund? Mendev feels so cold and wet in comparison.

Seelah: Ha! Don't worry, you will get used to it. Besides, this way every chance to sit by the campfire feels even better.

—

Aqil: We should hire some scribes who could write down stories and customs of your tribe! As a historian it pains me to think there is an entire society out there people know nothing about.

Lann: That's sweet and all, but maybe we will get to it when everyday survival is no longer an issue.

—

Aqil: Most people don't expect direct intervention from their deity. For many, religion is simply an easy way to find a community of like-minded people.

Ember: But why would you need gods to form a community? Wouldn't you still love magic even without your god?

—

Aqil: If someone doubts even the possibility of a good demon you have my blessing to call them uneducated. In the Maelstrom exists an entire city inhabited by outsiders who rejected their former alignments.

Arueshalae: I did not know that. Can you… tell me more about it? Maybe I could even visit it someday.

—

Aqil: I think your abilities would improve if you strengthened your understanding of the fundamentals. Here, you can borrow my Book of Magic.

Woljif: I ain't taking it, pal. No one offers magic knowledge for free and you won't trick me into some kind of debt.

—

Aqil: Your magic smells strange. Like a floral perfume that covers something pungent.

Daeran: Do you kitsune have a habit of sniffing everyone or are you just that fond of me in particular?

—

Aqil: After this war is over I would love to show you my favourite galleries in Absalom. Nothing enlivens one's artistic spirit more than seeing creative endeavours of others.

Sosiel: That does sound wonderful. Maybe we could even meet the artists themselves.

—

Aqil: You know, you are my least favourite kind of person, someone who thinks they have it all figured out in a world where everything is relative.

Regill: This chaotic relativity you speak of is precisely why this world needs rules imposed on it. For everyone's sake.

—

Aqil: The way you speak of your tribe reveals what a bitter and selfish person you are.

Wenduag: And the way you can't shut up about yours shows you are a pathetic fool who is nothing without the approval of others.

—

Aqil: Are you sure you remember nothing of your family? Not even for your sake but theirs. Clans care for their own, they are probably worried if you were lost to them.

Nenio: Your emotional appeal is noted and ignored, fox boy. But I will make contact with kitsune clans when it's time to classify them for my encyclopedia.

—

Aqil: Familial bonds can be unorthodox yet strong and true at the same time. For example, I have an aunt who is not really my aunt, she just formed kinship with my father after she was first hired and then refused to kill him.

Greybor: Can't say I ever became friends with any of my targets. Seems… unprofessional.

—

Aqil: Sosiel told me you enjoyed music a great deal… before everything. I could play my lyre for you if you would like.

Trever: It's a kind offer… I'll consider it.

—

Aqil: You believe in the importance of one's clan, but everyone in my family practices the arcane arts. Would you condemn them all?

Ulbrig: Maybe you have different ways of doing things in your faraway lands. But I know how things are here in Sarkoris.

[caralara]

Why are you so optimistic that bbg will end? I’m amazed but also confused. People also believe that liam’s and zayn’s children are also a stunt. If louis were to end it, doesn’t it will have a domino effect to them and also other problems (closeting, pr company problem that Louis is still very much still with, etc). I personally think it will stay for a long time to create some public image about him.. after all he’s a celebrity and an international artist (remember the world is still homophobic) and also he’s kinda in the indie music scene and idk if the “coming out” or revealed bbg will help at all. But who knows 🤷‍♂️ I certainly hope you are true even though I don’t know how that big of a scandal will end in the current music industry that still filled with a lot of powerful executives.

Hi anon!

I think you might have missed a few of my posts there, I don’t believe Louis is going to come out and say „babygate was never real,“ very much also for the reasons you’ve mentioned. When I say „end it“ I mean that Louis will turn out to not be the dad in whatever fashion (most likely that they all thought he was but Briana had slept with other men during that time so it is actually someone else’s kid) and he will be just as surprised and shocked as the fans because he really thought he was his dad all along.

About Bear and Khai - for me, I have found a reason as to why babygate happened, and it’s not just as simple as general closeting, you can look at my long post that I have pinned on my blog to get a better idea why I think babygate happened in the first place, and because of that, I don’t see the same necessity for Liam and Zayn - so I’m sorry to say but as of now I don’t think there’s Ziam babygates (doesn’t mean I don’t think there’s nothing fishy there)

And you already said it, Louis is moving into an indie part of the music genre, and it’s much easier to keep your private life actually private in those circles. I’ve said before that I don’t think Louis will do a coming out on his own.

And the reason I’m so optimistic? for the last two years I’ve dug deep into everything babygate, looked at everything g myself, debunked a lot of „proofs“ on the way lol, but I still arrived at the conclusion that babygate was a stunt - and then went on to see patterns that suggested Louis tried to end it in 2020/2021 already, but - pandemic. so all I’ve been observing makes a lot of sense for him to build up to the end. That’s why I’m optimistic - I looked at all the facts and the big picture myself and made my mind up based on that.

[chickensoup-4-mysoul]

herculean (drrr x f!reader) - chapter 2

chapter 2 - Fashion Patrol

synopsis: You meet the Raira trio and take an extra special liking to a certain shy, bespectacled girl.

word count: 2,401

A/N: i make a lot of references to the reader being foreign, and easy to pick out. i write from the perspective of a black person, but i also think that it's the way that the reader dresses and acts that makes it obvious that she's not from here!

warnings: N/A

"i wanna know just how far i can go every direction seems to stretch out to no end, oh i could wait for all my life, and never feel the time was right might break or bend but some things you have to pursue,, come true - khai dreams, forrest, biskwiq, and wizard island

The clock on your bedside table shines almost obnoxiously among the darkness of your room.

6:30 AM

You heave a sigh. Your body had no business. No right. To awaken you from sweet sweet slumber like this. You blame jet lag and first day excitement.

Technically, you were here last night, but this would be your first full day! First day of watching early morning work traffic, first day of seeing foreign faces in broad daylight, first day of watching the sunrise...

That reminds you! You shimmy out from under your sheets, ignoring the cool morning air and the press of cold wooden floor against your feet. You run your fingers against the silk of the curtain, relishing in the smooth feeling before pulling it back. 

The warmth from the sun radiates onto you as light floods your room. Still mixed with deep oranges and pinks, the brightness doesn't pierce your eyes quite yet, but bathes you in serenity. The perfect wakeup call.

Father really spoiled you, landing you in an apartment like this. It was the penthouse of the building with a beautiful viewpoint. You had front row seats to the sunrise, accentuating the fluctuating skyline of the city. 

Pulling a comfy robe over your now shivering body, you slide open the door to your bedroom and descend towards the kitchen. The place looked beautiful in approaching daylight. You couldn't say that you had taken quite enough time to appreciate it last night as you stumbled into the dark space, stripped down to your undergarments and threw yourself into bed.

It was spacious, with little walls as separation. You slipped past the couch to enter the kitchen, immediately grabbing the electric kettle and filling it with water. Some tea would be the cherry on top to this peaceful morning. 

A content smile graced your lips. Hopefully the day is just as peaceful.

...

"Now, now, I'm not sure I appreciate such an accusatory tone."

Izaya's  lips curled into an unamused frown at the pointed remarks sounding from the other side of the phone.

"So little faith! So you do care about her wellbeing after all. That's quite interesting, doctor. Quite interesting indeed...Would I be correct to assume that this concern isn't purely altruistic?"

A silence, while prolonged, is not at all empty. Pure, seething animosity seemed to radiate from the small device.

"Hm? Is it still my turn to talk? Well, let me continue then. I assure you, you have nothing to worry about."

Another moment passed before a sigh could be heard on the other line. The other speaker half-heartedly apologized, embarrassed by the loss of composure.

"Just trust me to do my job."

The call was put to an end before another rebuttal was spoken.

"It's weird hearing you speak English," Namie comments from her spot at the bookshelves. She's haphazardly dusting to hide the fact that she was most definitely eavesdropping. "That man call you again?"

Izaya Orihara sighed as he spun in his chair, massaging his temples with his fingertips.

"Yes, seems to have a very particular desire as to how he wants the job done." He leans back in his desk chair, stretching out his back with his arms behind his head. "Can't blame him though, he's certainly paying a lot."

"Is money really that much of a concern for you?" Namie remarks dully, gaze flitting over the grandiose living space that the informant was able to afford. The corner of Izaya's mouth twitches into a smirk.

"The payment is simply an added bonus. This client seems insistent that this job would be... beneficial for me as well."

The woman sighs and ceases further discussion, harboring no desire to even try to fathom the man's motivation. 

...

Nighttime Ikebukuro was exciting. Thousands of glittering towers of light accent the jet black sky, somehow more alive than ever. 

Daytime Ikebukuro, however, carried it's own special charms. Those glittering towers of light are now simply tall buildings. Places of work, living spaces, and shopping centers. Those obscure faces that had blended together the night before were now distinct. You see individual pairs of eyes, mouths pulled into smiles and frowns, hair piled on top of heads or spilling down shoulders.

At night, the city came to life. During the day, the people did.

And so do their senses of style, you think happily. After your morning tea and sunrise, you fell right back asleep. An early start would have been nice, but you would hate yourself if you went out into the real world running on 6 hours of sleep. After you woke back up at a much better hour, you were ready to conquer the world!

Notepad in lap, you were now people-watching, wielding a pencil in one hand and a sweet roll in the other. You had been sitting there for at least an hour, scribbling down notes and even a few sketches of whatever information you deemed important. Patterns that seemed consistent, common cuts and fits, different color schemes. It was a Saturday afternoon, so many had swapped out their school and work uniforms for more casual clothes. Not only that, but many teens were out and about, which you were particularly happy about. They were the next generation--the future and hope of fashion as we know it!

A flash of blonde hair in your peripheral immediately caught your eye. You turned to see a trio, sitting not too far from you. They were young, not a day over high school age (which you're pretty sure is a little younger here). A black haired boy sat next to a girl with a black bob. They well complimented each other, you thought, both dressed conservatively. You liked the boy's color block jacket, you decide. Examining the girl's attire, you wonder if she's covered so thoroughly on purpose. Even under her long, hooded dress (kinda reminds you of Erika's), you could still make out her curvy, buxom frame.

Perhaps she was insecure about it. What a shame, you could picture all sorts of outfits that would do wonders with her body type.

The obtrusive blonde was donned by their third companion, another boy. Compared to the other two, this one didn't want to blend in at all. While his white hoodie and black jeans were typical of any teenage boy, his dye job combined with the shiny piercings and pocket chain (we love a king who knows how to accessorize) clearly indicated that he was a young man that needed to be seen.

Watching the three interact brought a smile to your face. They had a cute dynamic. As you return to writing notes, their conversation suddenly sounds clearer, as if moving towards you.

"Fine then! If you two lovebirds are just gonna push me out like that, I'll find a sweetheart of my own!"

So the girl and black-haired boy were in a relationship, huh? Poor blonde boy, he must feel like such a third--

"Helloooo, miss!"

You're startled by the sudden presence of someone in front of you. Your pen slips from your grip and tumbles onto the floor, eventually stopping at the feet of your new visitor. As they bend down to pick it up, the head of blonde hair is a dead giveaway as to who it was.

"Whoops! Didn't think you'd be that surprised by my dashing good looks!" He offers you the pen like it's some sort of rose. "Couldn't help but notice you making eyes at me! Name's Masaomi Kida, but you can call me the love of your life!"

He's laying it on thick and you are thoroughly amused. Still, you felt a little bad. If he was expecting you to swoon right into his arms, he was sorely mistaken.

"I'll stick with Masaomi. Sorry if I was staring, I love your sense of style!"

You couldn't tell if his surprise was because of your compliment, or you not immediately shooting him down. 

"O-oh, why thank you! Nice to know someone on this earth appreciates my taste."

You stand, feeling it was awkward to have him talk to you while you were still sitting down. He's flustered by the realization that you're taller than him. 

"Of course! Have you ever considered pairing those jeans with a more form fitting top? Oooo maybe even a nice pattern for contrast! A horizontal stripe would really broaden your shoulders."

It was a simple conversation point, you thought. Just a suggestion, one that some could even take as a compliment. Masaomi, however, just looked confused, and maybe even a bit disgruntled by the comment about his shoulders.

"Masaomi, are you bothering random women again? I thought you were just storming off for dramatic effect!"

You spot the approaching forms of Masaomi's friends. As the boy reprimands him--they must go way back--the girl eyes you with harmless interest. At your friendly smile, however, she looks away bashfully. Masaomi gasps, scandalized.

"Mikado, how could you? This is no random woman. This is my long lost friend, my lifelong companion, my dear.....what's your name?"

"(Y/N)."

"(Y/N)--woah say that again?"

"(Y/N)." You sound it out slowly, laughing at his nonsensical behavior. 

He dramatically repeats your name and while he isn't exactly right on the money, you appreciate the effort.

"You two...know each other?" The girl asks. You immediately fall in love with the soft ring of her voice. What an adorable girl!

You cut off Masaomi before he could fabricate anything else, explaining that no, you weren't a long lost lover of his, but he wasn't at all bothering you. 

"So, my identity's been revealed. How about you two? I heard that the black haired boy is Mikado, and you are...?"

Anri, you learn, is a soft spoken girl, but she has an air of attentiveness to her. You'd imagine that, if you had gone to regular school, she would be one of your classmates that always volunteers to answer questions and tutors after class.

"Anri," you repeat, testing the feeling and pronunciation of the girl's name, "I love your haircut! Y'know, I have a pair of earrings that would look absolutely darling with your bob, are your ears pierced?"

Anri raises her fingers to her unpierced ears almost contemplatively. You hope that she's considering it.

"I'm assuming this whole fashion advice habit is sorta your thing, huh?" Masaomi remarks, not bothering to hide the way he was scrutinizing your choice of dress. Eh, he could look all he wanted.

You opted for a dress today, layering it over a simple white t-shirt. Flowing just below your knee, the dress was a cute shade of pastel green, peppered with a purple floral pattern. 

"I guess you could call it that. I'm planning on studying it for the next four years, after all."

"Y-you're a college student!?" Mikado's bewilderment is cute. How old did he think you were?

"Technically no, not yet. I'm taking a gap year right now!"

You end up talking to the three students for a good while. Turns out they're all first years at Raira Academy. Mikado was recently in the same boat as you, having arrived in the city not too long ago. Masaomi, while having calmed down his advances, still continued making innocent passes at you. You pay no mind to it, assuming he was trying--and most likely failing--to make his two friends jealous.

You also find out that Mikado and Anri are not a couple. Although, the way they change color at the implication of them being together was very telling.  Oh yeah, Masaomi was definitely third-wheeling it.

"Anri, you should come over to my place sometime and we can have a sleepover!" You say right as you all decide to go separate ways. You pull up the contact screen on your phone and hand it to her.

She seems hesitant, and almost put off by this. Thankfully, she still puts her number in and hands the device back to you.

"Aw man! Totally snubbed!!" Kida groans. You don't feel guilty enough to keep yourself from laughing.

"Sorry fellas. No boys allowed!"

You send the three one last wave goodbye before they head off, happy to have met more nice people. It was fun getting to know these kids. This was the closest thing you had to interacting with people in your age group. Most of your life was spent sheltered at home and you didn't have very many memories of having friends that weren't private teachers. It was honestly a little lonely. You could only imagine how much you had missed out on...

Realizing how sunken your spirits had gotten, you forced a smile back on your face. None of that matters now. You were in the big city, and you had  already made some awesome friends! Now was a better time than ever to catch up on all of those memories.

Yeah, you decided, I'm gonna take this city by sto--

A man's voice. A vicious battlecry, oozing with rage and intensity. Through the furious growl, you can almost make out a name. 

Something speeds past you, the breeze strong enough to whisk the fabric of your dress. 

Nice jacket, you think, at the sight of a man who at that moment was basically airborne. In broad daylight, his entire form is shrouded with darkness. A dark coat over a dark top and dark pants, topped with dark hair. It's almost in slow motion, the way he ricochets off of a bench, practically flying up onto a nearby streetlamp. 

It's once he lands that you both lock eyes. His gaze is sharp, pinning you in place. Even from the distance, you can see how the corners of his mouth stretch into a smile. It never occurred to you that a smile could be unfriendly. No, this was wolfish; off-putting.

Suddenly, you hear a loud rumbling behind you, as if something had been destroyed. Your staring contest is broken as his focus is now on something behind you. You follow his gaze in curiosity, wondering what could have made such a noise.

A... flying traffic sign. 

A flying traffic sign that was hurtling directly towards you.

It seemed to teleport, how fast it seemed to be inches from you. All you could think to do was raise your arms to your face in a pathetic attempt to protect yourself.

Man, I can't catch a break, can I?

[if-i-was-a-cucumber]

GMMTV Generations Theory || Outliers

Thinking further about the GMMTV generations theory, there are some definite outliers.

I personally believe that every generation has a certain vibe. You can kind of tell what kind of generation a show is based on its production qualities and a few basic tropes. As the generations pass, GMMTV gets more progressive and less traditional in its ideals about homosexuality, which is great. But that means you have to prepare for some questionable and confusing things in earlier shows; i.e. high school–aged Pob and Nick from Slam Dance (2017) being super kinky and having sex toys for no reason, Khai’s wishy-washy feelings and horrible actions being attributed and justified due to confusion from his “gay awakening” in Theory of Love (2019), Tonhon being an absolute homophobic dickhead for most of the series but having it justified the entire time with “he’s confused about his sexuality” in Tonhon Chonlatee (2020), etc.

However, there are some outliers that seem to have vibes reminiscent of earlier or later generations. I’ll list a couple here:

Fish Upon the Sky (2021) is technically a Gen-3 series, and stars a certainly Gen-3 pair of actors (PondPhuwin). However, its production reminds me a little of Gen-2, and it definitely lacks that progressive and self-aware nature that other Gen-3 shows have. In FUTS, Mork (Pond) is super irrational, he’s very pushy, he’s problematic, and he never accepts Pi (Phuwin)’s very direct rejections — however, it’s all romanticized. This is Gen-2 or even 1 stuff.

Dark Blue Kiss (2019) is a Gen-2 series with Gen-3 level acting, production, and even scriptwriting. The fight they have builds up over a few episodes and is completely valid and understandable from both sides. It isn’t even a misunderstanding trope. It’s way ahead of its time.

The Gifted (2018), a Gen-1 series, is one you could easily mistake for a Gen-2 series. In terms of plot and production, it was the first to call attention to Nanon’s ability to play an emo schoolboy, which Gen-2 ran with.

Hormones (2014) is a Gen-0 series that I’d argue could belong in Gen-2, which is crazy. It’s just very progressive, it’s all about dramatic high schoolers. It’s like the blueprint for Netflix’s Euphoria.

See my original post on the generations of GMMTV series here.

[solarsonicsoda]

Rebbie’s Wrestling Reviews - Show Reviews

RevPro High Stakes 2024

(I did want to include more photos/videos in this, but they're getting caught up in the transfer-to-laptop process. Stay tuned!)

On Sunday 18th February, I headed up to Crystal Palace, London for RevolutionPro Wrestling’s High Stakes 2024. Last year, I went to Wembley but this was another long journey. Fortunately, this is a bit less hectic considering the Crystal Palace National Sports Centre does not hold about 80,000 people. I usually go to the RevPro shows in Southampton, but this is my first big show I’m seeing in-person or on-demand. We saw a few of the stars head in as we waited for doors, including Mustafa Ali, which was pretty exciting. There was also an awesome street food market just around the corner in the big park the venue was in. I had a pretty nice chicken biriyani but I wish I had got the sauce that you could add. I am very keen to go to a Crystal Palace show again just to try more of these stalls! There was also sports going on around us, and as we waited we watched some beach volleyball occuring very far below us! This was a pretty cool place.

We actually ended up being amongst the first people to enter, which gave us a great chance to check the place out. This was a big step up from the smoky 1865 we were used to watching our RevPro in. All seating, with a bunch of walled seats on one side and benches on the others. When we eventually found our seats, we realised we were on the benches, hence the cheaper price of our tickets. We had picked seats very close to the back as we ordered tickets very late in the day, but the ring was actually extremely close still. It was a great arrangement, even if the people around us did result in me being a bit cramped. 

Looking around, we found the merch table, a bar, and even some food outside! We didn't end up grabbing a drink or food, but I did head to the merch table, and who was at the very first one but Mustafa Ali. I followed Ali all throughout his WWE run, and was a very big advocate of his. He’s also extremely based as wrestlers go. I worked up the confidence and bought a signed print from him, sending the money via PayPal which is always a neat contact to see in my app! It was certainly a step up in price compared to what I’m used to, but I had to get it. A photo was unfortunately the same price, so we didn't take him up on it, but I did shake his hand. Pretty cool moment! I also bought a poster of the event, and then met Michael Oku, the Undisputed British Heavyweight Champion and the main eventer! I was able to buy a print, get a photo, and even have him sign my poster! He was super cool, I was a bit nervous and didn't say much though. I unfortunately smudged my poster signature while trying to carry everything but fortunately not too bad! A fellow fan asked me how much my Ali print was as we gushed about our fandom and our nerves meeting him. Meanwhile, my dad ended up buying himself some RevPro logo merch: a shirt and a hoodie. We then found our seats though, and waited for the show to begin.

Orange Cassidy (c) def. Sha Samuels, Cameron Khai, Richard Holliday, “Flash” Morgan Webster, Spike Trivet, & Shigehiro Irie in a 7-Way Scramble for the AEW International Championship by pinfall in 8:03

YES, THAT ORANGE CASSIDY! this was a total shock. This match was billed as a six-way with a mystery "international superstar". When Shigehiro Irie of Japan came out, we were all pretty content! Irie is an absolute beast and I'm always keen to see more of him. However, once he reached the ring, a familiar tune started, and we all began to realise just who it was... when Jane burst into full swing and the Orange Cassidy graphics appeared, it was absolute scenes. I was genuinely shaking with excitement, I felt weak. We could all not believe our eyes, and everyone was screaming and jumping. Loud "freshly squeezed" chants rang out and we all saw the International Championship exit the backpack mere feet away. So, this became a 7-way for the title! It had originally spawned from various allegiances and rivalries, but now had a certain je ne sais quoi! Cassidy was predictably the main focus here, as he did a big 6-way lazy kick spot, which ended with a Holliday low blow. From here it was a bit one-in one-out as many multi-man matches can get at points. Still, this was fun and shows some just why all of these guys rule. There was a fun spot as people built up on the outside, with Holliday teasing a dive before being sent out by Irie, who was brought out by Khai with a pretty gnarly looking move to the apron. From here, Webster hit a brilliant Shadows Over Malice to the pile-up. Heading back to the ring, Cassidy would hit Orange Punch's all round, but the big Irie would not go down without an extra shot. Holliday tries a roll-up but gets hit with an Orange Punch all the same and takes the loss.

I definitely wish this one was a bit longer and had a bit more meat on its bones, but this was all about the Cassidy surprise, getting all his classic spots in for the intimate crowd, and showing a bit of each participant. I can't exactly complain! The highlight may have been when Holliday threw Cassidy's glasses at him, only for them to land in his pocket where he could calmly put them on. That was electric. But overall, it was one of the best moment's I've ever experienced live, with a nice, if short, match attached. Orange also gave his equivalent of an impassioned speech post match telling us to go to Wembley. 

3 STARS OUT OF 5

Dani Luna (c) def. Safire Reed for the RevPro Undisputed British Women’s Championship by pinfall in 9:44

Now it's time for the Undisputed British Women's Championship! We have "Radioactive" Safire Reed up against the still somewhat new champion, Dani Luna of Subculture. This was a good match, with Dani taking an early advantage with her power before being undone by the striking game of Reed. There was a bit of trouble when Reed attempted a top rope stomp on Luna draped through the ropes. Reed began to lose her balance, but from one foot off the top rope, was able to connect with Luna before hitting the rope and taking a nasty spill. Didn't look comfortable, didn't look as intended, but it was honestly pretty gnarly and they seemed to come out of it ok. Luna hit a wicked blue thunder before Reed came back with her biggest flurry shortly after. German suplex out of the turnbuckle, running headbutt, rainmaker, shining wizard, but Luna kicked out. Frustrated, Reed picked up the title, which would be her undoing. We have a big German before Dani hits an awesome Luna Landing pop-up sit-out powerbomb, and that's all she wrote. Let's go champ! I have also just learned that Dani Luna is 24 and now I'm worried about my achievements in life.

This was a pretty fun match, even if some of that finish was a bit silly, that's wrestling for you! Maybe could have played up the frustration of Reed a tad more, she was a bit calm with it, but who knows? It's still a tad silly. Reed can definitely go far though, and Dani Luna is a top tier talent. I also realised halfway through the show that she was right behind our segment of the crowd for much of the rest of the show. Post-match, we hear some banging noises, when Alex Windsor drags Luna back to the ring with a chain. The former champion hits a Super Dragon Curb Stomp and takes her leave before Luna gets medical attention. Overall, there were flaws but I enjoyed this match a good deal! 

3.5 STARS OUT OF 5

Young Blood (Yuto Nakashima & Oskar Leube) def. Mark Trew & Kieron Lacey by pinfall in 9:25

It's tag team time! These two teams have been getting on each other’s nerves for a while now, so it’s finally time they settled it in the ring. Two young brash teams butt heads here, and it's wild early on. These two teams can't be contained, with Young Blood utilising their size advantage early on. However, Trew & Lacey are able to isolate Yuto Nakashima. He's a big man, but with quick tag team offence, they gain the upper hand. Oskar Leube is begging for a tag, but he doesn't get it. Trew & Lacey wind up Oskar, causing distractions that allow for some underhanded attacks. From a Yuto suplex, we get our hot tag and Leube-mania is running wild. The big man from Germany runs rampant over the cocky tag team, dishing out massive clotheslines and a breathtaking back body drop on Trew. Leube is able to kick out of a big double team that holts his progress. However, Young Blood fight back, taking out Lacey with a high/low before an absolute wicked tag team finisher from Young Blood. Yuto's knee strike into a giant F5 (or should that be The Verdict in NJPW?) from Leube. That's obviously all she wrote.

Nakashima is a brilliantly charming performer and showed a bit more of his in-ring prowess here, Leube garnered great reviews that I could tell by ear, and Trew & Lacey are an awesome team of cruiserweight heels. Their ability to sell helped Young Blood look even better than they were and fed the electric energy of the hot tag. Pretty good stuff. 

3.5 STARS OUT OF 5

Luke Jacobs def. JJ Gale by pinfall in 17:02

We have an epic clash of styles here, as Southampton's JJ Gale takes on North West Strong, Luke Jacobs. Both men want to prove they are the better man, with Jacobs having no respect for Gale and wanting to make a point out of beating him and proving he is the future of RevPro. Gale is popular but Jacobs is a strong favourite with this London crowd. Gale is trying to match Jacobs with strikes and power for much of this match, which we can see some of the flaws in as a plan when Jacobs comes out on top of a strike exchange early on. Gale throws in a bit of high-flying to keep in this one, and they end up outside. Gale is sat down in a steel chair by Jacobs, but as he charges, JJ meets him with a superkick. We unfortunately have a bit of a scary moment here, as JJ uses the chair as a step to springboard off of the guardrail, but he slips and hits the floor. They recover well though, with Gale keeping it simple by launching Jacobs into the rail. They return to the ring, with Jacobs again using his power game against the quicker Gale. Some awesome strikes from Jacobs throughout. The match really got going here, as both men start unleashing a lot of there offence, with big springboards and powerbombs. There's a big Boston Crab by Jacobs out of Gale's powerbomb reversal, but Gale makes the ropes. They return to the centre, calling back to their opening exchange, but this time Gale is able to get the upper hand with his strikes! Gale gets his limbs caught though, and it's a massive headbutt from Jacobs. Gale has some final flurries, but is unable to win with a roll-up, Gale Force or a 450, which is dodged and met with two big lariats. But Gale kicks out! Jacobs goes for the Screwdriver, but roll-up by Gale, no, lariat, Steiner Screwdriver! It's over! Jacobs wins!

This was an awesome match, and by the end of it, the crowd was on fire for both men. I genuinely think this one tired everyone out for multiple matches. What a brilliant clash, and really sold me on Jacobs. Obviously, Gale is my guy so I would have loved to see him win but this was an incredible showing and with any luck is the start of bigger things for him. Post-match, Jacobs commends Gale, saying he earned some respect in that one. However, he declares himself for the Revolution Rumble and says he will be the next Undisputed British Heavyweight Champion. No respect for the "streak of piss" Michael Oku. His words, not mine. Maybe he'll have a bit more respect for him after our main event. 

4 STARS OUT OF 5

Mustafa Ali def. Robbie X by pinfall in 13:08

The big talent from America, Mustafa Ali is in the house! He’s taking on cruiserweight stalwart Robbie X! There’s some early showboating, as Ali remarks “Robbie told me he can do anything I can do” before challenging him to replicate him flicking his hair. The crowd found this very funny. Robbie showed us though, flicking back whatever hair he does have! Impressive! There’s some decent back and forth here, both men showcasing their similar styles. Seeing moves like the rolling thunder neckbreaker live were absolutely awesome! There’s also a wicked moment when Ali crashes and burns full pelt into the bottom turnbuckle. That was an awesome sell. It’s generally a lot of back and forth here, ending when Ali is able to hit a pretty nice sunset flip powerbomb following a top rope tussle, following it up by pulling himself back to the top rope to hit a 450 splash and win!

This was definitely a good match, though I would love to see even more cruiserweight madness in this one! However, a rewatch could definitely be useful, as the previous bout was a big one! Post match, Ali takes a moment to praise Robbie X and tell everyone what a wrestler he is. He even does his signature X pose. Class stuff as both men stand tall. 

3.5 STARS OUT OF 5

Shingo Takagi def. Trent Seven by pinfall in 21:58

With Gabe Kidd unfit to wrestle following the big War Dogs vs. United Empire match recently, we need a replacement! Here comes another former WWE talent in Trent Seven, though he’s certainly more acclaimed for his work in the UK indies. It’s great seeing Seven, and his entrance was good fun with all the fanfare he brings to it. There’s also a funny moment as Francesca and the referee think they’re about to be towel-whipped. But here comes The Rampage Dragon! Shingo is one of the most exciting wrestlers for me to see on this show. I’ve actually never seen a Shingo Takagi match but always heard good things! He is a very cool man. The two men start off slow, exchanging holds and strikes. There’s some good selling by Seven, and Takagi looks like a beast with a lot of what he does, but it did unfortunately stay a bit slow for a while. Things did ramp up towards the end though, with a lot of big moves hitting their marks, and plenty being attempted. A moment that started to wake things up was Trent hitting the Seven-Star Lariat for two. He followed up with a Bitter End attempt but got hit with Made in Japan. There’s some strikes here, before Trent hits a finger snap for a good reaction and finally hits the Bitter End. This doesn’t finish things however, and he attempts what seemed like a Tyler Driver but gets hit with a Last of the Dragon. There’s some more action, and Seven gets a nearfall with a piledriver that I did actually bite on. Takagi is able to avoid a Seven-Star Lariat and hit a Last of the Dragon but it’s again two. Trent kicks out at 1 after a sliding clothesline, but here’s a Running Bomber by Takagi! Trent kicks out at 2! You should have heard the lads behind me throughout this match but especially at this point. Big Takagi fans. They were pretty underwhelmed for the first half, and always eager for Takagi to put Seven away. They were NOT HAPPY with this kick-out, and very worried Trent was gonna win… also quite drunk but such is their prerogative. Still undecided on whether they added to or detracted from this one for me. But anyway, we have a fireman’s carry from Shingo countered into a Seven-Star Lariat attempt, but Takagi ducks, hits the ropes, Running Bomber, and it’s all over.

This one did get good towards the end, but not only was the start a bit slow and long, it was also maybe a touch over-dramatic in terms of kickouts and the like given the whole vibe and nature of the match. I don’t know, I felt like they overdid it. The match was just pretty long in the tooth. I mean, I was highly shocked it went 22 MINUTES. I don’t know who’s idea that was for a Takagi/Seven match, but it was not wise. Credit to them, it didn’t feel like 22 minutes long, but it felt long. Shave a good 5 minutes at least off of this one and you have a pretty damn good match, cos both men can go. Just lacked a certain intensity. Still, a solid-enough bout that was just pretty flawed, and I can give them slack with how Trent was slotted in just 24 hours prior.

3 STARS OUT OF 5

Anthony Ogogo def. Ricky Knight Jr. in 13:30

Ogogo and RKJ have been feuding ever since Ogogo betrayed his tag partner at the Great British Tag League finals, with both men invoking the names of the other’s families in this rivalry. It’s Anthony Ogogo out first, and across from me I can see about 10 people sitting together, all wearing Anthony Ogogo shirts. Something tells me they may have some relation to the Olympic bronze medallist… Anyway, RKJ is out next and does a tour of the crowd, which is nice of him. I have to be honest with you, this match is kind of a blur to me. Someone behind me was having a completely unrelated conversation with someone and it really distracted me. I don’t think I was particularly alone in that, because it didn’t exactly draw a loud reaction. I’ll do my best to sum this one up though, because I do remember it being a decent match. There’s some back and forth until Ogogo is able to hit a Tower of London on the outside after an RKJ baseball slide. That was creative. I’m certain Ogogo only uses the Tower of London as a move for the home country synergy though, which is funny to me. There’s a nice lariat from Ogogo, who proceeds to be on top until RKJ hits a scoop slam and some really nice dropkicks. Now I read that an RKJ moonsault is punched away by Ogogo??? I have no memory of this??? I think this one may also be due for a rewatch. There’s some striking before Ogogo hits a Razor’s Edge on RKJ. Ogogo hits an F5 and Olympic Slam, and RKJ hits a Fire Thunder Driver, but none of this gets the win. Ogogo gets away from RKJ and is able to hit a Canadian Destroyer! This is still not enough though, and RKJ begins striking with Ogogo. This is obviously a bad idea and so the OLYMPIC BOXER strikes him once and the referee starts counting for a TKO. Ogogo drapes the Union Jack over RKJ, but at around 7 he sits up! Fight on! Nah, one more strike from Ogogo and this time he pins him. Well then.

This one, as I said, I was a bit distracted from. However, if it was so good, I wouldn’t have been. I was definitely also a bit underwhelmed given the ferocity of the build, because I was expecting a massive brawl after everything. With Ogogo winning though, it feels like we're building to a rematch, so perhaps that’s when that comes. But it was a decent match, didn’t overstay its welcome, and Ogogo didn’t look too bad in there. RKJ brought some good wrestling too as always! Maybe one to rewatch, though I do fear it going down in my estimations, as it was maybe a tad flat.

3 STARS OUT OF 5

Zack Sabre Jr. def. Connor Mills by pinfall in 21:25

It’s time for another homegrown international star, ZSJ, who Connor Mills is looking to better in this one. Mills is out first, flaunting some familiarly dyed hair as well as a big fur coat! But then here comes Zack Sabre Jr., and there’s a great reaction for the leader of TMDK. We start things off with a brilliantly loud “Fuck the Tories” chant that Sabre Jr. is of course a big fan of. Remember, he fights with his heart, his brain, and most importantly his underlying hatred of the British Conservative Party. I wish I had recorded this, because it was simply magical. Now, if you’ve seen a Zack Sabre Jr. match before, you can hopefully understand that this is gonna be very difficult for me to describe, because I don’t even know what was going on half the time or what you would call these moves. The man is simply amazing. Mills absolutely held his own here too, dishing out his own technical prowess and in my opinion finally embodying his nickname: True Grit. This one had a lot of beautiful technical wizardry from ZSJ, which is genuinely the best way to describe whatever it is he can do, as well as a bevvy of PKs and other strikes. There was also an absolute gnarly Zack Driver that was at a very high-angle. The way Sabre Jr. slips and slides through holds, the peppering shots, the way he contorts his own body and his opponents is unbelievable, and seeing it live made it all come together for me. I remember some of the transitions he pulled off were so good, at one point he shifted all the way around Mills’ body while OFF OF THE MAT to apply a different hold. The man is something else. The ending of the match came as Sabre Jr. unleashes some brilliant PKs, but a defiant Mills sits up to flip off Zack. This was a great moment, followed immediately by two more PKs from ZSJ for the win. Post-match, Sabre Jr. is carried out in the arms of David Francisco. Up the Francisco.

This was such an incredible match, with Mills really looking great next to one of the best technical wrestlers of all time. I wish I could say more beyond gushing, but I think I’d have to seriously rewatch this one because I was fully along for the ride here. I’m going to end this one by just naming ZSJ moves in case he hit them in this match. Tesco Meal Deal. Hypernormalisation. Sunday Rail Engineering Works Replacement Bus Service. Hurrah! Another Year, Surely This One Will Be Better Than the Last; The Inexorable March of Progress Will Lead Us All to Happiness. I actually love that one, it’s so good. 

4.5 STARS OUT OF 5

Michael Oku (c) (w/ Amira) def. Will Ospreay for the RevPro Undisputed British Heavyweight Championship in 47:12

Here it is, the one everyone was waiting for. Will Ospreay, the longest reigning RevPro champion of all time is officially leaving the company. The current champion? It’s Michael Oku, who has never beaten Ospreay. They have faced each other twice, and while Oku has had some great efforts against Ospreay, he has never beaten him, and Ospreay has not shown a lot of respect for the man previously known as The OJMO. Oku & Amira are out first, with shots of their earlier matches playing out before the Game Over screen from Metal Gear Solid plays. Yes, really. My dad might have booked this match I think. Oku’s music hits and he & Amira come out in some big match gear here. They look pretty cool, but now it’s the Assassin’s Creed logo, as Ospreay has a tie-in entrance. He gets a guard of honour from people wearing his old jackets, and he even gets a cool sword. He twirls the sword in the ring and points it at Oku, who walks right up to it. That was pretty cold. We are reassured that this one can only be stopped by pinfall, submission, or by Amira throwing in the towel. It’s at this point Ospreay throws the towel covered in Oku’s blood at Amira, nearly inciting a massive brawl. However we get the bell, and wow. The noise in that building was unlike anything I have ever experienced. That was the best atmosphere for a wrestling match I have ever experienced. The volume and the passion was something else. It felt like that could have carried on forever before the match got underway, but it had to eventually.

These two start things off, with things quickly speeding up as both men are one to do. Much of the crowd did get a tad distracted by the presence of Tony Khan in the box now. Orange Cassidy was in there for a while earlier, but now everytime I looked to the box, more people had amassed up there. Tony gets a few chants throughout, here getting “Tony’s in the box, in the box, Tony’s in the box” and “Tony, give us a wave, Tony, Tony, give us a wave”. I love chants so much. However, there was a great match going on, Oku getting wild height off a pop-up hurricanrana, and we all quickly refocused, and I swear Ospreay chants came straight back out of these. The crowd was never quiet. Either we were reacting, or we were singing on one of the two men and the top of our lungs, often with duelling chants. I was Team Oku.

Ospreay was keeping this one under control and resisting the pace Oku wanted, locking in a Cobra Twist submission, even digging into the ribs. Oku escapes though and hits his absolutely beautiful corner dropkick. We see a handspring enziguri from Ospreay send Oku outside, and he follows that with a dive. They head back inside, and a springboard forearm connects with Oku for a two-count, but Oku is then able to knee Ospreay to the outside. He tees up for his shooting star press over the top rope, the Fosbury Flop, but Ospreay meets him halfway. Oku responds quickly though, sending the challenger knee-first into the apron. Oku then hits a beautiful springboard moonsault to the floor! Back into the ring, a crossbody only gets a two for Oku. Looks to be a superplex but Ospreay reverses and has the Master of the Half-Crab in position for the Cheeky Nando’s Kick. But what a counter! Oku jumps backwards over Ospreay, before returning fire with another brilliant dropkick. The Aerial Assassin is able to counter a hurricanrana into an absolutely brutal alley oop into the top turnbuckle. Great sell by Oku, though he then has to sort of clamber over the top rope to the outside. Ospreay with a slingshot and Oku connects with the ringpost: looks like that busted him open.

Ospreay takes Oku back inside and is licking blood off his boots after some kicks, elliciting some deserved “You sick fuck” chants from the crowd. Will Ospreay is revelling in the mayhem and dickheadery of it all, even offering a free shot to the dazed Oku. However, this amounts to a half-and-half and a piledriver from Ospreay, only getting a two-count. Ospreay continues the assault, and begins taunting Amira on the outside to throw in the towel. In response, she spits at him. In response, he KICKS HER FULL FORCE INTO THE GUARDRAIL! This was an absolute brutal spot, and definitely raised the already High Stakes (get it?). Oku is not pleased, and is able to prevent an OsCutter before hitting a torpedo DDT through the turnbuckles! This combined with Oku’s very own slingshot into the ring post for Ospreay busts Will open now.

Oku targets the legs now, setting up nicely for the Half-Crab. Dragon screws, big kick to the back of the leg, and a flip over onto Ospreay’s knees. He attempts it now, but when he’s prevented he transitions nicely into a Figure-Four Leglock. Ospreay is able to turn it over, but that’s just what Oku wants because he finally turns it into a Half-Crab! Great counter! Rope break from Ospreay though, and both men exchange strikes. Ospreay’s knee gives out and Oku goes for the dragon screw again, but Ospreay leaps out with a stomp, despite the pain in his knee. Oku’s knee avoided by Ospreay, and both a Spanish Fly and an Oscutter almost win it. An exhausted Oku drops, which dodges a Hidden Blade, and Oku is able to land a massive reverse hurricanrana and Ospreay is out on his feet… until he hits a Hidden Blade for a double down!

The count is stopped for both men on their knees, and Ospreay is generally on the front foot until Oku returns to targeting the legs. Essex’s favourite wrestler is able to fight back though and attempts the Stormbreaker, but Oku reverses with what looks like a Tombstone, but he traps the legs and drives him down! Reverse Strong Zero? Package Tombstone? Oku’s now headed up top and goes for the frog splash, but Ospreay dodges. He aims with the Hidden Blade, but Oku is out of the way and hits his own! This match! It’s not over though, but Oku is in control and hits another Hidden Blade! 1, 2, Oku pulls up Ospreay from the pin. He’s taunting the challenger, mirroring his own treatment of the champion in the past. Hidden Blade again, and he pulls him up again! Oku is loving this, revelling in the cheek of it all. The elbow pad comes off for one more, but this time Ospreay hits his own! Strikes exchanged, until there’s a big stack powerbomb from Ospreay, but Oku kicks out only to end up taking a Styles Clash! Oku kicks out again, and is drooping out of the ring. Ospreay begins to drag him back, and we get a tug of war between Ospreay and Amira. Unaware, he pulls them both into the ring, lining up for the Hidden Blade as Amira pleas for Oku to pull through. Ospreay comes in… and Amira pushes Oku out of the way, taking the Hidden Blade!

Ospreay gets over it pretty quickly, and heads for Oku, but he rolls him through into the Half-Crab! This place is electric and he’s wrenching back, but Ospreay grabs the hair! The hold is broken by any means, Ospreay lifts him up… TIGER DRIVER 91! No fucking way! That shit was brutal, the move Ospreay calls the Storm Driver ‘93. Never thought they’d pull that one out. Ospreay hits a Hidden Blade and a Stormbreaker for good measure, and it's all- OKU KICKS OUT! THE ROOF COMES OFF OF THE CRYSTAL PALACE NATIONAL SPORTS CENTRE! Ospreay is irate and comes in for a Hidden Blade, but Oku with the hurricanrana into a pin, but no dice. Oku comes in for what looks like a Hurricanrana, but Ospreay halts him, he pulls him up, and SEGA MEGA DRIVER! I wasn't familiar but this is the finisher of the late Mad Kurt, Oku’s good friend and fellow wrestler, and what a move it is! A brilliant name for a move too! Ospreay is absolutely spiked on his head, and it was absolute scenes by this point in the crowd. We were all screaming in each other’s faces and jumping all over! Frog splash to the back, frog splash original, but Ospreay kicks out… Oku’s holding the leg though, and now we play: the half-crab is locked in! He’s in the middle of the ring, and Oku torques all the way back… OSPREAY TAPS OUT! And still, your RevPro, Undisputed British Heavyweight Champion, Michael Fucking Oku. 

What a match. We were leaping, we were screaming, we were singing for this entire match. It ran for 47 minutes and it felt like about 20. This one flew by in the best way, it was a brilliant experience to be in the crowd for one of the best matches of the year, and the best matches in RevPro history. So hard-hitting, cool story moments, passion from everyone in the crowd, the right winner, and it being the main man of this company. Sure, Ospreay could stand to sell the leg a tad more after Oku targeted it so much, but I was caught up in the moment anyway and I loved it. 

Check out the highlights here!

Post-match, Oku and Amira celebrate before extending a handshake to the Aerial Assassin, which he gives, finally bringing this chapter to an end. Ospreay takes the title from referee Oscar Harding to hand it to Oku himself. Returning the gesture, Oku left Ospreay to soak in the love of the fans and end his time in RevPro on his own. Ospreay eventually gets on the mic, wanting to say some thanks. He turns to the box, thanking Tony, only to find out he’s fucked off, as he put it. He thanks the fans, his friends, his family, New Japan, RevPro, and eventually observes that Tony is back at the top of the seating where the RevPro crew is. He tells everyone he’ll see us at Wembley before his music hits, and donning an AEW hoodie he listens to the crowd sing Elevated one last time with tears in his eyes. He leads the “Ospreay, Ospreay” chants of the song before heading out of the ring, embracing Zac Sabre Jr. at the entrance way. With that, we have the end of Will Ospreay in Revolution Pro Wrestling.

5 STARS OUT OF 5

This show was absolutely brilliant. Very few matches fell truly short of the high standard set here, and when they did, other factors played a reasonable part. At the end of the day though, no match was truly bad and with three brilliant matches, with one being an absolute barnburner, it’s hard not to love this show. Definitely the best RevPro show I’ve ever seen, probably the best show I’ve ever attended live, and one of my favourite experiences in wrestling. This show gets 4.5 stars out of 5 from me.

[sadfruittheatre-rp]

Talk about Eyre!

Talk about Khai!

Talk about Anato!

😎

"Eyre and Khai are... well... They say if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all, and I don't want to get in trouble, so... Anato, on the other hand, he is incredible! Certainly someone to aspire to! I feel like we could all stand to learn a thing or two from his example! Some of us more than others..."

[ffxiv-swarm]

prompt 23: suit

Her introduction to Avery Mordeterre had seen him in plain, utterly nondescript grays and browns—the garb of a man who was dressed far more for practicality than for style. Then again, the Inquisitors didn’t pay very well, and even if they did—well, what use did a disgraced ex-noble spy have for nice clothes? (Rita had decided not to mention that he’d probably be a more effective spy if he didn’t look so bloody disreputable. Best not to give him ideas.)

And then he’d decisively quit the Inquisition and been welcomed back into the Temple Knights, and that had been the most pleasant surprise to come out of the horrors of the Vault. But while her opinion of his conscience, morality, and brainpower had improved, her opinion of his clothes hadn’t. Full plate armor was many things. Flattering was not one of them. It was protective, though, and she supposed that was more important. He’d been through a lot already.

And that damnable pride of his meant that he refused to take charity.

(“Avery. Mate. It literally fell out of Sohr Khai, please—”

“My standard-issue armor is fine!”

“So what’re your thoughts on me gettin’ you a nice nameday present, as one friend to another...?”

“That costs more than my rent!”)

Now, she’d be the first to admit—not in Avery’s hearing—that she had something of an ulterior motive. He was, after all, a fine figure of a man, all deep olive skin and red curls and vivid violet eyes. All that archery had turned his shoulders into the sort of thing that should have made sleeves illegal. She might not be strictly interested, but that wasn’t going to stop her from looking in the moments where they actually met face-to-face. Certainly, if she missed him the rest of the time, it was only because he was her friend. Nothing more. She had plenty of other eye candy to eat. It would be silly of her to start pining.

Even if he had the Echo as well. Even if Hydaelyn called him beloved son. Even if, apparently, he’d been thinking enough of her that he was willing to up sticks and attach himself to the Scions when her companions started dropping like flies.

Even if he was proving himself brave and honorable and kind and—

No. She was not doing this.

Even if Lord Aymeric had sent him off in what were definitely, unmistakably, new clothes. The sleeveless vest and sturdy gloves were both dark blue leather, with the sort of gold detailing that could plausibly be either simple decoration or a subtle nod to the colors of what had been his house. What she could see of his trousers was mostly brown, but they were covered by the sort of lightly armored thighboots, popular in Ishgard and among adventurers of all nations, that made anyone’s legs look malms long. She was suddenly very aware that he was a full head taller than her. Forcing her gaze back upwards didn’t help. Again, sleeveless vest. Sleeveless vest that actually fit. His shoulders needed no pauldrons to look that broad.

“...Uh,” she managed finally. “Nice kit.”

Avery frowned at her. “I didn’t think it looked that bad—”

“Oh, that was not sarcasm! It really suits you.” Hastily, she set a hand on his arm, only to remember that most non-Emm Ishgardians weren’t touchy people and just as hastily draw it back.

Now he was blushing, which was not helping the overall effect. It really shouldn’t have been possible for a man she’d first met as a bloody Inquisitor’s lackey to look cute, but somehow he was managing it. It made her want to reach up and tweak some of those loose curls just to see what color he’d turn. She knew she was smiling foolishly, but she couldn’t stop herself. She didn’t want to.

Fuck. Maybe she was doing this.

[berlinini]

I saw a vid of this toddler w a yorkshire accent on tiktok and it was so adorable 🥹 makes me wish either zayn or louis’ baby would have a northern accent but alas they’re both american babies 😔 I hope they pick up random words in their fathers accent tho lol

I mean, even with an American mom and an American nanny, Khai is bound to pick up on her dad's accent - have you heard how strong it is?! hahaha

The 'my daughter' video lives in my mind rent free.

Freddie has certainly picked up the use of the word 'lad' lololol

[toruland]

Well, why don't you tell me some song recs? I've been itching for something new recently

uhhh

im not sure if you’ve heard “sweet / i thought you wanted to dance” by Tyler, the Creator, but that’s probably my favorite song of his.

im not sure if you like kpop, but “Seoul” by RM is one of my biggest comfort songs. i recently found a girl group called Le Sserafim and i have their song “antifragile” on repeat. some more is “run2u” and “asap,” both by STAYC. “just one day” “home” “paradise” “serendipity” “singularity” “converse high” and “2! 3!” all by BTS. “yes or yes” “ what is love?” “heart shaker” “likey” “TT” and “feel special” all by twice

im gonna stop spamming kpop songs now, since im not sure if you’re into it lmaoao

more stuck in my head is “yo voy” by zion & lennox, “lo que siento” by cuco, and “lo que tú me das” by juanpalitoschinos. all three are in spanish (lo que siento is both english and spanish)

im also not sure if you’re into japanese 80s music, but literally any song by Anri is so yes. another one of my faves is “telephone number” by junko ohashi. OH and “yura yura” by YeYe. that song makes me so happy, it’s literally insane. yeye’s music always makes me feel better when im in a shitty mood

the song “she’s homeless” by CreepP is stuck in my head as well, mainly for the glitchy “uh huh uh huh” part around 2:25. it scratches my brain so nicely

a little rapid fire round, “little dark age” by mgmt, “recently,” by liana flores, “through and through” and “sunkissed,” both by khai dreams, “after dark” by mr.kitty, “hey lover” by the daughters of eve, “lover boy” by phum viphurit, “dream girl” by crisaunt, “pretty girl” by clairo, “how it goes” by sweet mylo, “stargazing” by the neighborhood, “can i call you tonight” by dayglow, and last but certainly not least, a song from genshin: “tender strength”

i don’t think you’re into genshin, but the soundtrack is absolutely stunning. you should listen to a whole bunch of the songs one of these days :>

[frostsong]

9—24: VICISSITUDES.

noun: alternation between opposite or contrasting things.

rating: g

characters: prince haldrath, ratatoskr (mentioned), original characters, chanduciel de dansereau

tags: reincarnation au, post-endwalker probably, family, father & (toddler) son bonding, haldrath still battles his demons even now, but he’s more hopeful (because he has more reason to), listened to sleeping at last’s ‘you are enough (acoustic version)’

summary: in another time and place, he wonders.

wordcount: 619

“and what color would that be?”

his voice is barely above a whisper as the toddler in his lap brushes his tiny fingers above his own, larger and longer ones—from little lips and rosy cheeks his son sputters a sound, a syllable, and two stitched together in an awkward little squeak.

still, haldrath’s heart swells with pride.

“orange. well done!” grinning wide, he re-gathered the child up onto his lap with the book, as the little one’s incoherent mumbles formed bubbles that dribbled down his small chin. haldrath couldn’t help but chuckle as wiped him clean with his sleeve, and the boy’s wide purple eyes—eyes that mirrored his own, though larger, and certainly brighter—focused on him and him alone. he could only wonder what his son, who only recently passed his very first summer, was thinking of at that very moment: how little of the world he had seen with those two large eyes, with that tiny heart that was still learning the rhythm by which the boy would live, live, live—

he shuddered as he breathed in, as he felt the weight of doubt return—the odd question that changed nothing. that meant everything.

the question of if he deserved all this.

here and now, haldrath knows better, remembers better. he can never set foot in sohr khai again without feeling the sunset-gold burn on his skin like an old scar. never again can he draw breath in dravania without even the mere air threatening to take it from him.

that, he deserved.

but the miracle on small fours lurching forward to bring the book closer—the one that carries half of him, half euphemie: his eyes, her dimpled smile.

he called his child a miracle for a reason—euphemie believed as much, too—and everyone close to them insisted the same. even the lithe dragonets who’d grown to regard them as family hovered close by, relishing in the sight of a not-yet man, of life in its first days.

they all call him father. papa, at warmest—it’s the name euphie still calls her own, even with all the years since his passing. she tells him he’ll be the same, if not better—most definitely better. and it’s a daunting expectation to meet, but every time haldrath takes chanduciel up into his arms he knows he wants to—he has to.

ratatoskr—the only mother he’d ever known—would want the same.

the great irony turned tragedy of it all, stings and will sting forevermore—and one of the countless consequences that comes with it is that his boy will never meet her. not in this life. and haldrath had been a participant in ending it all—in perpetuating the myriad chances lost to far more than time alone.

at night, once they have chanduciel safely swaddled and sleeping in the wrought-iron cradle by their bed (both of them agreed it was far too soon for the nursery), she has to remind him time and time again not to dwell on the regrets that mire him down so much. she knows the feeling, for in the past he had been the one who told her the same. that time in their lives had come to an end, and for better or worse they had done well to move on from it. now, the greatest motivation for doing so was asleep an arm’s reach away.

his hands that took life now cradled it, protected it. treasured it.

he would die for him once, twice, as many times as necessary to ensure his safety, his well-being, his happiness—but he would rather sit here with him, read him stories when he’s far too young to remember the words to, tell him things he can’t understand just yet.

haldrath would rather live.

[thaibexleyheath]

Enjoy Best Food Dishes in Thai Restaurant In London

Thai food is globe famous and also available in every other western community. But the most effective one is here in London. Thai recipes are a mix of sour, sweet, salty and warm tastes that make Thai foods so distinct. Thai cooks are exceptionally talented in appropriating foreign recipes and also producing a special meal by adding some tastes and also ingredients. Simply put, they like to experiment with brand-new things with foods and they are fairly proficient at it. So, if you additionally like to try new recipes in Thai restaurants are the very best place in London for you with a lot of tasty brand-new recipes.

Thai Restaurant food is extensively preferred for being exotic and spicy. Meals like Tom Khlong and also Kaeng Khai are simply a few fine examples. Kaeng Khai is a well-prepared spicy curry that includes green vegetables, fresh natural herbs, leaves from an acacia tree as well as fresh meat. Tom Khlong is additionally a spicy soup prepared with a sourness that is made via the ingredients of tamarind juice. Thai Restaurant UK at Thai bexleyheath.co.uk. Our talented chefs will prepare a meal that will tantalize your taste buds.

Thai Bexleyheath Restaurant offers a wide variety of traditional Thai dishes that will satisfy everyone's taste. Mushrooms, drilled chillies and tomatoes, along with meat are most typical in the dishes of Thai. Our  Thai Thai chefs can stabilize all flavours with each other extremely well. Sour as well as zesty foods are often mixed to stabilize the taste and the same goes for pleasant and also salty foods. Thai food is said to be a mix of tastes from the four various areas in the country. Every region, ranging from Isan to London has foods that have been influenced by their surrounding cultures. 

Therefore, if you are intending to travel throughout London, never ever miss out on taking pleasure in the Thai Bexleyheath Restaurant for Thai food. In Phuket, you will certainly discover different restaurants that use a range of Thai foods which are globally renowned. They additionally offer the best friendliness solutions. Their fish and shellfish are the best on the planet and also individuals from the next-door neighbour nations consistently visit these restaurants for appreciating their fish and shellfish. 

Yet if you are a vegetarian and believe that you won't find anything on your own there, that is not a problem due to the fact that you can conveniently find Thai restaurants with a vegetarian menu as well. Some of their meals could be a bit costly since they never ever compromise on the quality of the food and it's ensured that it will certainly be worth it. Neglect straightforward green salad for some time and take pleasure in a hearty papaya salad, additionally known as som tam. Also attempt Thai eco-friendly curry, which is as distinctive a meal as they ever get. Improve your remain in Phuket with its savoury food.

For More Info:-

Authentic Thai Restaurant London

Thai Restaurant UK

[rainycitysworld]

Being With Kakashi Hatake

Attempting to be more regular with these posts. I have a Yami one I'm working on but let me know if you have any requests. Also thank you guys for all the love on the Nanami one! In a week that became like my most popular post lol

What it's like being with Kakashi Hatake

Kakashi was truly the world’s busiest and laziest man. Someday, he hoped to pass that title on to Shikamaru, but he was the reluctant holder for now. But if it meant his kids could enjoy their youth longer than he got to, it was all worth it. Besides, soon Naruto would take over, and he could take early retirement, and in his retirement, he fully intended on enjoying his youth, if he still had some. “You’re making work very, very difficult, my dear.” Not that he minded having those legs in his eye line, the outline of their curves next to the mountain of paperwork, it certainly made being trapped in this office more bearable, but it also made him want to go home even more.

But they weren’t going to move. That’s why he loved them, so very stubborn. So he did his best to focus, an occasional finger intentionally brushing their skin, and if he needed a break, their thigh made an exceptional pillow. “You’re lucky I found you as an old man,” he scoffed under his breath, “if I were fifteen years younger, you’d be in trouble.” The idea did make him laugh. Maybe he wouldn’t have been such a miserable little brat if he had someone like them to call him on his shit, soften him up, love him, not die. A pretty pathetic list of desirable traits in a person, but with his luck, necessary. Looking up at those big shiny eyes he loved so much. He remembered another reason he took this stupid job.

Not as many people died when there was peace. As important as it was to protect his kids, and soon his kid’s kids, he wanted to protect them and, by extension, his heart. It couldn’t take much more loss, and so if his sacrifice for their safety were some late nights and paperwork, he would gladly lay himself on that stake. Looking back at his desk, he pulled his wallet out, “Why don’t you pick up some dinner and alcohol? I can finish up here earlier enough to have a suitable date night,” he smiled through his mask.

Playlist:

It's Not So Bad- Dybbukk

Falling for U- Peachy! ft. mxmtoon

Eyes Blue Like the Atlantic- Sista Prod ft. Subvrbs

Heat Waves- Stripped Back- Glass Animals

The Ways- Khalid ft. Swae Lee

Chanel- Frank Ocean

LOVE- Kendrick Lamar ft Zacari

Die For You- The Weeknd

See You Again- Tyler the Creator ft. Kali Uchis

Sweater Weather- The Neighbourhood

Electric- Alina Baraz ft. Khalid

I am the Antichrist to You- Kishi Bashi

Home- Edith Whiskers

Runaway- AURORA

Sunkissed- khai dreams

I'll Keep You Safe- Vluestar

Flower Dance- DJ Okawari