#chōji

[hsphantom]

𝓳𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓷 & 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓲𝓷 ━   chūnin exams, second stage

[wordswhisperinthedark]

OUGH I was not expecting the sheer aura😯😍

[bearpoll2023]

[dante-heller]

ALRIGHT! LET'S FUCKING G-

Oh... I guess I'll be watching her fight next time.

[narasnooze]

Chōji: No matter how hard you work, Chōji: or how big a celebrity you become... Chōji: You will never be as famous as cheese.

[chronicangelca]

Sinking

Link to this fic on AO3. Words: 2088 Date posted: September 22, 2019

Summary: "He left us, Chōji!" She doesn't see it, but based on his sharp inhale, she can picture the way his eyes widen and his breathing pauses for a moment. "He didn't even say goodbye. Didn't he know how much that would hurt?"

He leaves.

Without even giving her a real goodbye, he leaves, on a mission to Suna that she is told may take anywhere from a week to an entire year. She runs to the gates at five in the morning on the day that she knows he is due to leave with Temari, but Izumo and Kotetsu just frown at her with furrowed eyebrows and explain that they left an hour ago. The irrational, over-emotional part of her brain questions, Was he that desperate to avoid seeing me?

For the next month, she goes to the gates every day, sitting with her knees pulled to her chest and just waiting for him to show up.

She hasn't skipped a meal in nearly a year, but it's so easy to settle into the routine of not eating breakfast to head to the gates first thing in the morning and just wait for hours. For the first week, she allows Chōji and Asuma-sensei to drag her away for lunch or dinner, though it is almost always only one or the other. On the last day of the week, she eats so quickly to get back to the gates that she makes herself throw up right in front of Izumo and Kotetsu and the two of them finally send her home, telling her to rest so she doesn't make herself sicker. She spends the whole time worrying that this will be the day that Shikamaru gets back and he will find that she wasn't waiting for him.

After that, she doesn't let Chōji or Asuma-sensei drag her away anymore. It is wasted time, and perhaps her stomach is grumbling by the end of every day and perhaps when she gets home she passes out from how much her stomach twists and burns with the desire to eat, but if it means that she will not miss when Shikamaru returns then it is worth the discomfort. After the third day in a row of Ino refusing to go to lunch with Chōji, he hesitates a moment and then sits on the ground next to her, and she stares at him with wide eyes because Chōji has never turned down an opportunity to eat in his life-- she knows because she's been there for all of it.

They settle into a routine, shortly. He will come with an armful of bags of chips, of which she will only eat a handful while he happily munches on the rest, and he will walk her home when the sun has been set for hours and she will let him because the chances of Shikamaru arriving in the middle of the night are rather slim, anyway.

"So," he says around a mouthful of chips, and she doesn't have the energy to make a face this time at his lack of manners. You're the one from a noble clan, why are you the most socially clueless one on this team? She grumbles to herself in the back of her head. "Why do we do this every day, anyway?" He asks, and she opens her mouth to answer immediately but he cuts her off. "I mean, I know it's so we can greet Shikamaru when he gets back from his mission and all that, and that's cute and sweet and whatever, but why are we doing that? He's gone on missions without us before and we've never bothered." She doesn't know how to explain that it's because she's maybe-probably in love with their teammate, nor does she particularly want to, so she just stares silently at the horizon for a long time while thinking about what she can say.

Eventually, she settles on, "He's never been on a mission that could take an entire year before, though, Chōji. Imagine if he came home and he thought... he thought that for that entire year we'd just forgotten about him." It leaves a sinking feeling in her stomach, and it doesn't feel wholly like the truth, but it is enough to settle Chōji and stop him from asking questions for the rest of that evening.

A couple of weeks pass and Chōji meets her at the gates every morning. Then, he misses a day. Misses two in a row, then three, and then he doesn't meet her at all anymore, and she furrows her brows and curls up at the gates but does not say anything.

After the first month ends, she stops going to the gates. Shikamaru does not even write to her. It has been an entire month and she hasn't received a single letter from him, a single scroll. Why does it matter if we've forgotten about him, if he doesn't even pretend that he's thinking about us? Why should I care about him when he doesn't extend the same courtesy? She tells herself that's why she stops going, but it doesn't feel quite right. The first morning that she decides not to go to the gates, she runs into her father downstairs, and he seems legitimately surprised to see her. "Oh, is Shikamaru already back from his mission? That's funny, I was just talking to Shikaku earlier this morning and he didn't mention anything..."

"No, he's not back from his mission, Dad," she says, inwardly cringing. "But, y'know, I'm a ninja too and I figured it was time to stop wasting my days waiting around for Shikamaru when I could be training or getting missions of my own from Tsunade-sama. Speaking of which, I should probably go now. Love you, Dad!" Her father just nods after her as she rushes out the door, and she doesn't realize until she's already reached the training grounds that she totally skipped breakfast. Well, it's too late now, she decides, and instead focuses all of her attention on training, throwing every kunai and shuriken she has on her person at the training dummy, and once she's out of those, throwing kicks and punches at the wooden figure until her knuckles bleed.

The days continue like this for a long time. She begins to develop callouses on her hands from how often she punches the wood, and subsequently loses more and more body weight until she's all muscle and bones. Occasionally she goes on missions with Asuma-sensei and Chōji, but it's mostly errands. After all, the Hokage has no use for two-thirds of the InoShikaChō trio. They train together even more infrequently-- Asuma-sensei seems to have taken this as an opportunity to see more of Kurenai-sensei, and Chōji has always hated training just as much as Ino did when they were younger, so he doesn't exactly do it when their sensei isn't making him.

Shikamaru has been gone for three months the first time she passes out while training. One second she is throwing a kick and only a little light-headed, and the next she is on the ground. She had forgotten, apparently, how much energy is sapped out of her when she isn't eating. Still, it doesn't mean she starts again. When she wakes up, she launches herself right back into training, punching the wood over and over again until she is panting and her knuckles have split open again despite the rough callouses on them.

She had been eating once every week or so, after training with Chōji and Asuma, but now at least forces herself to have a few bites of the leftovers of whatever her father has for dinner every couple of days, when she plans to do any particularly intense training. It is not really enough to sustain her, but it is enough that she doesn't die, enough that she doesn't pass out whenever she spends more than an hour training, and that is all she needs.

Two more months pass like this. Shikamaru has been gone for six. She ends up in the hospital.

A full day passes before she wakes up. She doesn't even know what she is doing here. She only knows that when she wakes up, Chōji is the only other person in the room, and she stares at him with bleary eyes that are already filled with tears. Her stomach burns. "What were you doing?" He says without even looking up at her from where he stares at his hands, his voice dangerously low.

"I was training," she says weakly, defensive despite how tired and guilty she feels.

"You were starving yourself," he corrects, finally lifting his eyes to glare at her, and she winces. "One second Asuma-sensei and I are preparing to throw kunai at you because you told us, you swore to us, that you could catch them right out of the air, and the next second you're on the ground." She glances down at herself for cuts or scrapes before he says, softer, "We hadn't even thrown them yet, Ino..."

She sniffs and tries to ignore the thousand silent questions he is asking her, tries to ignore the pleading look in his eyes. She has never been very good at ignoring Chōji though, really. Not on purpose. He is too warm, fills the room with his presence too well. Really, he is one of her best friends. Not as close to her as Shikamaru or Sakura, but a constant presence in her life nonetheless. She doesn't know what she'd do without him any more than she does Shikamaru.

She can feel her own tears trailing down her cheeks, hot and wet and entirely too salty, so much so that they make her eyes sting. She squeezes them shut to compensate as she sobs, "He left us, Chōji!" She doesn't see it, but based on his sharp inhale, she can picture the way his eyes widen and his breathing pauses for a moment. "He didn't even say goodbye. Didn't he know how much that would hurt?"

"He never says goodbye before a mission, Ino. He probably doesn't even think about it."

"But this one was different!" She cries, finally prying her eyes open to see Chōji's brows furrowed in concern. They are the two emotional members of their team. Shikamaru always thinks with his head, going through life with an almost lazily logical approach. It's like emotions just take too much energy and so he has opted out of them. Asuma-sensei, on the other hand, is likely a balanced being of logic and emotion, but he's also very private. She has never seen their sensei cry, nor has she ever seen him particularly angry. Chōji is the one who is so violently emotional, and he's the one who's always understood her depressive episodes and her quick temper and her... everything. Shikamaru completes her, balances her, and Chōji guides her, motivates her to be better by being the same and better all at once.

He has his fists clenched at his sides now, and she doesn't know if he is angry with Shikamaru or her but she doesn't know if she wants to. She has seen Chōji truly angry so few times in their lives. He has always been jubilant. Always been happy and kind. She is hot-headed, but he is simply warm. Simply pleasant. He offsets the both of them, Shikamaru and Ino. He brings out the best sides of both of them. It is easy to whisper her true fear to him. "Were we not good enough? Was I... Was I not good enough?"

He stomps closer to her and now she stares up at him with wide eyes even as she knows he would never do anything to hurt her. Would never even upset her on purpose. Still, he grips her shoulders with bruising force and she stares at him in fear because she has no idea what he is going to do.

"Are you stupid?" He murmurs after a moment through gritted teeth. She flinches. "Is that why you've been doing this? You've been starving yourself and training 24/7 because you think that's what Shikamaru would want?"

At this point, she can see tears welling up in Chōji's own eyes, and she can't nod or shake her head or say anything because really, she doesn't know why she's been doing this. It was just so easy to fall back upon. When she did not have Shikamaru to comfort her, she could comfort herself by becoming better. She could always be thinner and stronger and just... better. When she just stares at him for a long moment, eventually he squeezes his own eyes shut and lets his tears spill over and pulls her close.

"You idiot..."

[youghvaudough]

Wind Breaker characters have a theme to their names, a thread, part 2:

(part 1: Bōfūrin!)

Shishitōren / 獅子頭連

with a name that literally means "lion's head (legion)", you can find some sort of animal in each of shishitoren members' last names

兎耳山 丁子 • Tomiyama Chōji: 兎 / rabbit

(fun fact: his last name, if we break it down kanji by kanji, is "rabbit" "ear" "mountain")

十亀 条 • Togame Jō: 亀 / tortoise

(fun fact: his last name, kanji by kanji, is "ten tortoises")

basically Jō and Chōji are literally the tortoise and the hare of wind breaker.. cute

佐狐 浩太 • Sako Kōta: 狐 / fox

有馬 雪成 • Arima Yukinari: 馬 / horse

鹿沼 稔 • Kanuma Minoru: 鹿 / deer

(next part: part 3 (manga spoilers) - noroshi!)

[tanuki-kimono]

Perfect match for those kimono and obi depicting all-season plants (chrysanthemum, pinks, cherry blossom and maple leaves) kusudama.

Kusudama (flower ball, lit. ”medecine ball”) were originally kind of potpourri pouches which were hung on Tango no sekku (5th day of the 5th month, today held in May as Kodomo no hi). Kusudama would be kept until the 9th day of the 9th month (Chrysanthemum/double ninth Festival) and then replaced by chrysanthemum flowers.

Auspicious goshiki no ito (five long dangling ribbons) were used to close and hang kududama. In rich households, the ornamental pouch would be made of luxurious Nishiki brocade. Inside, you could find jakō (musk/incense), jinkō (agarwood), chōji (cloves), kanshō (a kind of honeysuckle?), ryūnō (kind of camphor), etc. All those elements were thought to ward of evil and prevent illness.

Overtime, the pouch slowy became a kind of flower arrangement. Because of their auspicious nature, they are often found on antique girl and women garments.

[giustoart]

Did someone say TEAM 10?

Love them three! Do you like The Last’s concept of Chōji? I really don’t. He was so handsome in shippuden…so here you can see my alternative concept art of the trio!

TEAM 8 here

[missmyloko]

What's In a Name? Part 25

On The Seventh Day of Fun I present... an addition to the oldest series! You'd think I'd be running out of kanji by now, and I admit that it's getting harder to find ones that I haven't covered, but you're in luck as here's a few that have yet to see the spotlight! Maru - 丸 Prefix or Suffix: Both Old Meaning: Circle New (Standardized) Meaning: Circle Found In: All Five Kagai A very masculine kanji, its main meaning is that of a circle, but it's also used as a suffix in the naming of important objects, such as ships, swords, musical instruments, etc. For these examples we'll be keeping to the main meaning, but just keep in mind the second meaning when thinking about how a person can present with that name. Examples 八重丸 Yaemaru (Gion Kobu): "Multi-Layered Circle," pretty straightforward yet also quite poetic. 千恵丸 Chiemaru (Pontocho): "1,000 Blessed Circles," this one's really neat as Maru has another hidden meaning: that of money! So, this could also translate as "1,000 Blessed Coins"! 勝丸 Katsumaru (Kamishichiken): "Victorious Circle," This is an extremely masculine name that likens to that of a battleship! 丸代 Maruyo (Miyagawa Cho): "Circular Era," let's do the time warp again? 福丸 Fukumaru (Gion Higashi): "Lucky Circle," like with the example of Chiemaru, this one could also use the hidden meaning of money and mean "Lucky Coin"! Hatsu - 初 Prefix or Suffix: Both Old Meaning: First New (Standardized) Meaning: First Found In: Gion Kobu, Pontocho, and Gion Higashi Hatsu is the kanji of firsts for events and milestones. Since people in Japan are celebrating Hatsumōde 初詣, the first shrine visits of the year, today it's quite the appropriate kanji. Examples 初福 Hatsufuku (Gion Kobu): "Beginner's Luck," plainly this one could mean "First Luck," but it's easier to translate it as the above. 豆初 Mamehatsu (Pontocho): "New Bean," since it's being used as a suffix it's describing the bean in this case, but it could also mean "First Bean." 初子 Hatsuko (Gion Higashi): "First Child," pretty straightforward, could also mean "Firstborn." Ji/Haru - 治 Prefix or Suffix: Suffix Old Meaning: Reign, Peace, or Heal New (Standardized) Meaning: Reign, Peace, or Heal Found In: All Five Kagai This kanji's a bit on the archaic side and doesn't have a very clear meaning, but it's a gentle kanji that brings prosperity. Examples 長治 Chōji (Gion Kobu): "Long Reign," this one could also mean "Long Peace." 幸治 Yukiharu (Pontocho): "Peaceful Happiness," pretty straightforward but a very happy sounding name! 秀治 Hideji (Kamishichiken): "Excellent Ruler," this meaning seemed to fit the best with the paired kanji. 美代治 Miyoharu (Miyagawa Cho): "Era of a Beautiful Rule(r)," this one can be mixed around to make a few combinations, but this one came out sounding the best. 豊治 Toyoji (Gion Higashi): "Excellent Reign," the meaning is nearly identical to that of Hideji, but "豊" can also mean "Wealth," so another meaning for this name can be "Wealthy Reign/Ruler."

[natsuki-bakery]

⁎˚ ఎ Wind breaker Agere HCs໒ ˚⁎

could you please do some headcannons for a regressor choji tomiyama and caregiver jo to togame both from windbreaker? thanks!!!!

Age Regressor Chōji Tomiyama

•Age regressed Chōji has a few comfort items that he clings to when regressed, like a plush toy or a soft blanket. He prefers things that are soft and cuddly

•Favorite Activities : He loves simple, calming activities like coloring, playing with building blocks, or watching cartoons. These help him relax and forget about his worries

•Little Tomiyama prefers simple, easy-to-eat foods like fruit snacks, sandwiches cut into fun shapes, and warm milk. He finds comfort in familiar, kid-friendly foods

•In his regressed state, Chōji becomes more shy and clingy, often seeking reassurance from Jō. He tends to communicate more through actions than words, like tugging on Jō’s sleeve or giving him a gentle nudge

•Sleep Routine : He has a bedtime routine that helps him feel safe and secure. This might include a bedtime story, some soft music, or a nightlight to keep the room from being too dark

Caregiver Jō To Togame

•Jō is incredibly patient and understanding with Chōji’s regression. He never makes him feel bad about needing to regress and always ensures he feels safe and loved

•Activities : Togame plans activities that are both engaging and soothing for Chōji. He might set up a little art station, organize a movie night with Chōji’s favorite cartoons, or even arrange simple outdoor activities like blowing bubbles

•Jō is always there to provide reassurance and comfort. He’s quick to offer a hug, a kind word, or a gentle touch whenever Tomiyama needs it

•Dada Jō maintains a consistent routine to help Chōji feel secure. He makes sure meals, nap times, and bedtimes are at the same time every day, providing a sense of stability

•He encourages Chōji to express his feelings, whether through drawing, talking, or playing. Jō understands the importance of letting Chōji process his emotions in a safe space

•Jō always makes sure the environment is safe and comforting. He childproofs areas as needed and ensures there are plenty of soft, cozy spaces for Chōji to relax in

•Whether it’s a small reward for good behavior or lots of praise and encouragement, Jō helps build Tomiyama's confidence and sense of security

If you're in the basic criteria , are DSMP fans, vivziep0p fans , h0tel/h3lluva b0ss fans, Owl h0use fans, St4r butterfly fans, Ghibli fans, ddlg/abdl blogs, nsfw/k!nk blogs, anti-agere blogs, or anti Christians/Christianity blogs : just dont interact !

[wordswhisperinthedark]

I wish this got animated I think it's really cool imagery

Also, I really like how the high contrast in the manga makes Sakura & Togame look like stars in Chōji eyes. It's kind of alluding to how this fight is the fun and freedom Chōji's seeking (and will eventually get back)

[okamirayne]

Hey there! I apologize if this has been asked before, but in the BtB universe do most of the characters know/suspect the relationship between ShikaNeji, or have they been really successful in concealing it? Are there any characters that have their suspicions other than the characters said to have known (Hiashi/Shukaku?) Dumb question, but I have my own little headcanons about this haha.

Hey there @idreamofflight 😊 Thanks for dropping in with your ASK, luv! It is not a dumb question at all!

[…] in the BtB universe do most of the characters know/suspect the relationship between ShikaNeji, or have they been really successful in concealing it?

I can confirm that they had been very successful at concealing it, although by the time Heaven Hold Us starts (post War), these surviving characters know for certain:

Plus my ANBU OC, Tsuno

Are there any characters that have their suspicions other than the characters said to have known (Hiashi/Shikaku?)

These characters had/have their suspicions:

Ino & Chōji for sure, though they never pushed Shikamaru on this (well…maybe Ino…just a little bit 🤏 )

Kiba suspected/suspects on a deeply subconscious level — an animal instinct feeling but he never let(s) that instinct bubble up consciously, namely because he and Neji clash so much and it’s not something he would’ve been able to logically square in his head. He was/is still hung up on Shikamaru’s adventures in Suna with those lady twins 😉

😅 Now, all that said, bear in mind I am sometimes surprised by a certain revelation a character can come up with whilst writing. So there may be one or two more with lurking suspicions that haven’t come to mind just yet.

Sasuke, for example, could presently rate in both the knows about Shikamaru and Neji and/or the suspects category at this point. I’ll know for certain when writing his interaction with Shikamaru. 👍🏼

Thanks for the ASK, luv! Though it may be subject to change, this is where it presently stands. 🧡

[dante-heller]

I don't think Ino's doing okay.

[usagirln12003]

Shikamaru Nara: Hogwarts AU

Shikamaru Nara is a Pureblood wizard that was born on the 22nd of September 1978 and started attending Hogwarts on the 1st of September 1990, being sorted into Ravenclaw House.

He has a Beech wand with a Phoenix Feather core.

His Patronus is a Sloth.

His favorite subject is Charms and his least favorite is Defense Against the Dark Arts.

He was one of the Ravenclaw Prefects of his year.

Shikamaru is naturally a lazy person and his inclination is to do as little work as possible. As a Hogwarts student and even during his early career at the Ministry, Shikamaru is able to get away with this, spending his days sleeping, watching the clouds, or playing games of Wizard Chess. Even when told by many that he could be a great minister, he stated that he didn't want to deal with such responsibilities. His goal is to live unremarkably, free of anything of noticeably good or bad, and then to die just as unremarkably as he lived. When he is faced with the potential for conflict or commitment, he responds first by saying, "how troublesome," and then by trying to find some way out of it, either by pretending to be indisposed or even outright saying that he doesn't want to do whatever it is.

Although Shikamaru describes himself as "the number one coward", he has a strong moral compass and dedication to his friends. It is these qualities that earned Chōji Akimichi's friendship, as Shikamaru was one of the first people to look past his weight and find value in who he naturally was. It is also these qualities that force Shikamaru to move away from his lazy pursuits, as he finds himself volunteering to do work or to sacrifice himself if it will in some way benefit his allies. Such selflessness, displayed during the Fourth Wizarding War, exacerbates his "troublesome" situations: he is given the responsibility of leading his friends into battle, for which reason he does everything that he can to keep them safe, for which reason he is given even more responsibility over even more of his friends, and so on. He still clings to his lazy origins as much as he can; even if he can't spend his entire day being idle, he at least avoids having long-term goals or confessing any particular pleasure in the duties he's assigned.

Shikamaru undergoes a rapid maturity after the death of his teacher, Asuma Sarutobi, whose loss forces Shikamaru to recognise that the world is not safe that he cannot be kept protected from it forever. After avenging Asuma, Shikamaru takes it upon himself to do all that he can to make things better for future wizarding generations, especially Asuma's then-unborn daughter, Mirai; such is the Will of Fire. He may still balk at the prospect of the work he must do, but he no longer runs from it, even going so far as to argue in favour of difficult choices if it will guarantee his friends' and others' survival. He describes his new goal in life as, rather than living unremarkably himself and watching the clouds all the time, to instead make a world where his children or grandchildren can live that way if they choose to.

One of the more "troublesome" things that runs throughout Shikamaru's life is the subject of women thanks to his experiences with the women he knows: his mother, Yoshino, one of his best friends, Ino Yamanaka, and his pen-pal from Durmstrang, Temari. He describes each of them as aggressive, demanding, and sometimes even scary. Shikamaru tries to treat women delicately, being non-confrontational or at least polite to them and never asking anything of them that he believes he can do himself. During his first years at Hogwarts, he generally believes he can do anything himself, and as such is mortified if and when a woman needs to assist him in any way; his frustrations are similar when he repeatedly finds himself facing female opponents in the Dueling Club. Because his father, Shikaku, has similar views and experiences with women, Shikamaru asks him for help in understanding them. Shikaku explains that men destroy themselves without a woman's influence and that women, despite how they may act, are kind to the men they love. As with most things, Shikamaru resists entanglements with women as much as he can; in the Mirror of Erised he sees himself successfully avoiding marriage entirely. However, upon realising later on that Temari is one of the most important things in the world to him, he ultimately marries her and even has a son with her, Shikadai. Ironically, his relationship with Temari became very similar to his parents, where he once mocked Shikaku for being "whipped", which he himself became.

Overtime, having come to recognise Naruto's great contributions to the wizarding world despite his own hardships, Shikamaru came to sympathise for him, deciding to be there to support him much like the former headmaster of Hogwarts did for his older brother. His newfound goal became to aid Naruto in his goal of becoming minister and act as his personal adviser. Ultimately, as an adult, Shikamaru succeeds in this goal, often handling many duties to lighten the workload for Naruto as minister. At the same time, he still holds much of his original carefree nature from youth. He is not very strict with his son, viewing his acting out and/or punishments at school as a learning curve for him, trusting that Shikadai will find his way. He is a man of conviction and drive, always pushing himself to protect the ministry. His mental fortitude is proven very strong, able to put some resistance against Ada's allure. In adulthood, he also picked up Asuma's interest in smoking.

Per his role as Naruto's secretary, Shikamaru possesses a more methodical and somewhat draconian viewpoint and mindset in regards to the safety of the wizarding world. Occasionally clashing with Naruto's more humble and carefree outlook, Shikamaru often attempts to handle matters by considering anything or anyone mysterious or unknown as potential threats, such as suggesting Kawaki be placed under heavy supervision at all times when the latter first transferred to Hogwarts, to the point where Naruto commented it felt like Shikamaru advocated for confinement. Likewise, when a potential threath against the ministry almost came to be, Shikamaru immediately threatened to kill both Kurotsuchi and Chōjūrō when they accused Naruto of secrecy and plotting, much to Naruto's great displeasure and anger. Shikamaru even went as far as to order Mirai to allow Tentō Madoka to be kidnapped by the Mujina Bandits in order to place his father Ikkyū, the minister of the Japanese's ministry, under Great Britain's debt once they managed rescue him. Nevertheless he still continues to support Naruto's decision regardless of his own option.

After being affected by Ada's charm and having his memories of Boruto and Kawaki switched, like most of the rest of the world, Shikamaru grew to hold a grudge and anger at Boruto for his false crime of killing Naruto. Sarada and Sumire both also noticed that Shikamaru's personality had changed slightly, having become irreducible and more stubborn, especially when it came to giving Boruto the benefit of the doubt or lifting his execution order. This only relented when he received a report that Amado independently considered the possibility that his memories had been altered, and offered Boruto covert assistance. As the new minister, Shikamaru was shown to prioritise even more the will of Hogsmead's citizens and their safety, since during Code's invasion, he gave priority to evacuating the civilians and protecting them from the Claw Grimes than trying to capture Boruto when the same appeared in the village.

[chronicangelca]

Needs

Link to this fic on AO3. Words: 2041 Date posted: May 7, 2019

Summary: "I didn't," he responds honestly, because Sai deserves to know. He does not deserve to be married to a secret and Ino can be mad at him if she wants but indignantly, Shikamaru can only think, You should have told him.

Shikamaru doesn't particularly like hanging out with Sai. It's not that Sai isn't a perfectly fine guy, he is, it's more that the guy has no sense of boundaries and no ability to read a room, and that Ino seems to expect Shikamaru to teach him these things. (He thinks that Chōji would be a much better candidate if she's that determined not to do it herself. Hell, even Naruto is better with people than Shikamaru is and that guy is a total idiot.) Plus, there's also the awkward fact that...

"You used to sleep with my wife," Sai says casually, as though commenting on the weather.

"Yeah," he responds, forcing his voice to be just as casual.

He and Ino haven't been a thing since they were 18, and they're both married now (him, newly, to Temari, and her to the man he's currently sitting at Ichiraku with after Ino made plans with him a month ago and then suddenly "came down with something," which at the very least Sai had confirmed to be true, she was vomiting all morning, but he suspects she was planning to cancel either way), and yet it is this thing that will probably haunt them both until they die. (He wonders if it can be a haunting if it is sweet. If it can count as a ghost if its sorrowful song is still tempting. There are times where he looks at his wife and he wonders what it would be like if she was somebody else, but he's never upset with how his life has come out because he does love Temari, he really does.) "She told you about that?"

"We make it our business not to keep secrets from each other," he says pointedly, taking a sip of his water. Shikamaru doubts this. Of all of Ino's virtuous qualities, she is not honest. She is not open. She is a book in an ancient, forgotten language with pages stuck together and a latch on the cover that requires a key that was lost a long time ago. Shikamaru thinks he might still be the only one who understands her language, but he doesn't have the key anymore. He can only look at her face and spout passages from memory and wonder if they still apply. Shikamaru has been thrust out into the same category as the rest of the world and it shouldn't sting as much as it does.

He cannot say this, though. He cannot pull at loose threads in someone else's marriage until it comes unraveled just because he still feels a sort of bitterness that it is not him. Not when his life is just as easy to pick at and his dreams are just as wont to come apart if they are too closely examined. "I guess I just didn't think it was that important to her," he lies, and it feels weird in his mouth. In contrast to Ino, Shikamaru makes it a point to be honest. He does not like fabrications.

Sai is quiet for a long time, continuing to simply sip his ice water while Shikamaru slurps up the last of his bowl of ramen. Finally, he says, back to a casual tone like he's just spotted a cloud in a neat shape that he wants Shikamaru to look at, "I occasionally suspect she might still be in love with you." Shikamaru chokes. He coughs for a minute and wipes at the broth on his chin and then stares at Sai with wide eyes.

"She doesn't make it obvious. She certainly hasn't said as much. I suppose she thinks the truth would hurt me," he elaborates, and he shoots Shikamaru a kind smile that doesn't really fit the conversation, but Shikamaru knows that he is trying his best. "So I suppose we do keep some secrets."

"Is it really a secret if you can read it so easily?" Shikamaru asks, because he doesn't know how else to respond. After all, Ino has never been able to keep a secret from him. He reads her too well, always has. Though she may not say what she is feeling, may even hide the text particularly well, he can see the way the lettering flickers through her blue eyes. He can read the words aloud to her in another tongue and she will crumble.

Sai shrugs his shoulders and places the money for his food on the counter, then takes another sip of his water which Shikamaru swears should be almost empty by now. Shikamaru lifts the bowl to his mouth to drink the broth from it and then pays his half, and the two of them get up to leave at the same time without verbally communicating it. He supposes payment should be enough of a cue. They walk in the same direction, which isn't actually toward either of their homes, so Shikamaru can't be sure where they're going. He thinks that they are going to have a long conversation, though. "If it isn't too invasive," Sai starts, and Shikamaru is sure it will be. "Could you tell me what it was like?"

He stops breathing for a second.

What it was like, he thinks, and he knows that Sai means his relationship with Ino but he wants to pretend that he is oblivious. He wants to pretend that he doesn't know what the other man is talking about just so he can push his answer off. Because he doesn't want to tell her husband that they were some of the best years of his life. He doesn't want to tell her husband that he really was in love with Ino and on a level he's still in love with her, too. He doesn't want to tell her husband that if he'd been able to choose when he was eighteen-- even when he was nineteen, twenty, for years-- his choice would have been Ino. He doesn't want to tell her husband that if she asked him to abandon his life and run away with her, he'd drop everything in a heartbeat. He doesn't want to tell her husband that Ino will always be a part of him.

"Well, I'm sure if anyone could get it, you would," he starts, because that, at least, is true. It is an easy truth to grant. "Being with Ino is like... I guess it's a lot like smoking a cigarette. It's a rush. It's a chemical soup. It leaves its permanent imprints on your brain and your body and the way that you think. It's not like they become your whole life, but they become a part of your life. An important part, a part you might change everything for if you had to. Even after you quit, a part of your life is always dedicated to getting another one. To taking another breath. To catching the secondhand."

"And is that what this is? Spending time with me? Is it catching the secondhand?" He asks, apparently in the spirit of genuine inquiry. Shikamaru does not think that Sai is a particularly jealous man. He could tell him right now that he was in love with Ino and that he'd leave his wife tomorrow to be with her (which at this point he does not think is true-- his life with Temari has become the default; the normal; the way that things are, even if they aren't really the way that things have to be anymore) and Sai would probably just nod along and accept it because he is a selfless man, a good husband, and if Ino would accept that life then Sai would too because all he wants is her happiness.

Shikamaru shakes his head and laughs a little bit to clear the air. "No, I don't think so." He doesn't need to bear witness to the life Ino has built without him. "You're a good man, Sai. She deserves a good man."

This seems to pique Sai's interest again. "Are you not a good man?" He asks, and Shikamaru isn't sure how to answer that question. He isn't sure how to explain that on a fundamental level, he doesn't really think so. He doesn't think he can be. He can't explain what allows Sai and Naruto and Chōji and countless others all to be good men when they have had the same life experiences as Shikamaru, would likely make the same choices without questioning themselves as they are trained to do as shinobi. He only knows that they are all inherently good and something within him is tainted in a way he cannot fix or even properly see.

He knows this is not the answer that Sai wants, and yet he does not like lying, so he chooses to gift Sai with a form of release instead. "You seem pretty determined to give your wife away," he jokes, although he doesn't think this phrasing is quite right. You don't give Ino away. Like waves lapping at the shore, she comes and goes as she pleases until one day she dries up and leaves you dehydrated.

"I suppose I'm more interested in why you did," he shoots back, and Shikamaru feels his heart stutter. So she didn't tell him everything. She told him that we loved each other, that we were together, but she didn't tell him how we came apart. She didn't tell him about our tragic ending which paved the way for his happy ending. For her happy ending. For everyone's happy ending, I suppose.

"I didn't," he responds honestly, because Sai deserves to know. He does not deserve to be married to a secret and Ino can be mad at him if she wants but indignantly, Shikamaru can only think, You should have told him. "I don't think I ever would have been capable of giving Ino up. I don't know how anyone could be," he says. He thinks it's the most honest he's been all evening. "We started dating when we were fifteen. We didn't tell anyone about it because it was forbidden. Children of the Yamanaka clan cannot be with children of the Nara clan, and neither of us could have been with a member of the Akimichi clan, either. It jeopardizes the InoShikaChō trio that our families have perpetuated for hundreds of years. And there's so little our families cared about more than tradition. When we told them, we didn't really have a choice. So, no, I didn't give her away."

He knows that he shouldn't be bitter. Things are better this way. He has a pregnant wife waiting for him at home and she has a husband who would die for her.

But he can't help it, damn it. He can't help it because he would have happily been the husband who would die for her, and she could have been his pregnant wife, and if they'd never told anyone-- if they'd just eloped one day and announced it to their families then when there was nothing they could do about it-- everything would be fine. Maybe not better, but it'd be different and it'd be okay. He misses her so much sometimes it aches and even as he loves his wife, is in love with his wife, he knows that a part of him will always belong to Ino and that's not only unfair to both of them, but it's unfair to the wife he loves.

Sai lets them stay in quiet for a long time, and really, he is the one in total control of this conversation. Shikamaru has never felt so much like he was at another person's mercy before, but he knows now that he is a mouse stuck in a trap and begging for death.

"I'm glad, you know," he says eventually, and Shikamaru nearly jumps though it is not that sudden. "I suppose I should be jealous, but it makes me happy that there is someone else who loves my wife as much as I do. She needs more people who care so deeply for her in her life. I think that she often feels tragically unloved and alone, even when I am in the room with her. So I suppose, on a level, she needs you."