#check ✔️

[reunitedinterlude]

unconventional fit checks (1, 2, 3)

[yeonjune]

(240921) "GGUM" ending fairy ✙ Show! Music Core

[avid-idiot]

🫷🤨🫸 STOP

✋️1️⃣⏳️ WAIT A MINUTE

😏👉🫗🥃 FILL MY CUP

🤭👍✨️🍹 PUT SOME LIQUOR IN IT

[zenoyambutpenguins]

S1 edward (Gotham) is just extremely Kowalski coded and I will not elaborate

[asheanon]

Their hair and faces are going to look a little off because I haven't broken out the Blender refs yet and things are still a scribbly mess, but… even still…! Sneaky peeky of something I'm doing for the faves. 🤍🖤

(I was recently inspired by Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust to do something reminiscent of one of its many beautiful scenes.) 🎨💕

[gellertalbus]

[manty-monster]

It's always messed me up how manageable some symptoms of BPD could be with the right communication and understanding of the mental illness.

It's a disability, and like many disabilities, there are accessibility options, and there are concessions that can be made, knowledge that can be expanded on. Having a relationship when you have a disability can be work; sometimes, you or your partner may have to help each other. This shouldn't be different for mental disabilities.

So I wanted to come up with some basic practices that can help you if you or your loved one has BPD.

disclaimer - this is one person with BPD's opinion and may not be true for everyone, communication is key, BPD is a complex but manageable illness.

Understanding what a trigger is, neurobiologically. When a person with BPD has a trigger, their brain floods with chemicals, driving them into panic. The things they say and do should be taken under that consideration. This is not to say dismiss what's being said. There is still a conscious mind behind the words and the things and those topics may hint at a core insecurity that should be discussed later, but understand on a conscious level that your loved one may not necessarily be in a clear state of mind.

Stop responding to everything at face value. Building off #1, once you recognize that your partner is emotionally compromised, with a disorder that creates black and white thinking aka splitting, or heightened emotional responses, you can't respond to everything in the same way you would respond to a casual question. If your partner hits you with the classic "Are you mad at me?" that should be a cue to you to try and explore that more deeply.

Initiate open communication. ☆ Which brings us to communication. Open, loving communication has to come from a place of empathy first and foremost. It requires briefly stepping into your partner's shoes in communication. It's not easy to steel your immediate reaction when someone says something untrue or hurtful to you, but it does become easier if you can recognize the emotional meaning behind words as well as the literal meaning. "Are you mad?" becomes helpful inside-shorthand for "Hey, I'm feeling insecure right now. Could you help me manage that?" rather than a frustrating phrase. I had to put a star there because holy shit is it important to understand emotive communication, heightened emotions, and cognitive empathy/perspective-taking when communicating with someone with BPD. This one's gonna involve some metacognition, folks.

Calming techniques. As you learn more about each other, try to include learning what calms you or your partner down. Comforting/soothing actions can help the chemicals from being triggered or splitting to dissipate faster. Learning what makes your partner calm or happy will go a long way towards easy caring management of some symptoms. While things like "Please calm down" can make things much worse, a simple "Can you tell me about [aspect of their special interest]?" "Do you want me to turn my webcam on?" "Can I put [favorite band/show] on?" "Do you want to be held?" are much more personal, show you have an interest in helping them feel better, and can diffuse a situation. Context matters, of course. Sometimes all that's needed is "I'm listening, I love you."

Understand your partner's symptoms. Looking up symptoms of BPD and understanding them is crucial to understanding what is going on. For instance, people with BPD have a warped sense of object permanence, and sending small messages while you're away can be a way to manage this. Rejection sensitivity, which is also seen in other neurodiversities like ADHD, autism, and CPTSD (which shares like 99% of symptoms and cause with BPD), can be managed by establishing a vocabulary together to navigate rejection, trust, and symptom recognition.

Understand your partner. Every person is different, and their history and trauma are unique. Some people with BPD were neglected and abandoned, while others were parentified or victims of other forms of abuse. Many people with BPD have other comorbid neurodivergences. It's important to be curious about your own and your partner's minds. Preventing a trigger is much better than resolving one. Knowing the things that could cause yourself or your partner to split or experience another symptom can allow you to discuss it beforehand, even set up a plan to prevent it. This can include making plans for things to do in your or their absence, having an object to hold to help remember that you or they are loved (such as a bracelet or stuffed animal), or setting an alarm or using post-it notes to remember important dates or schedules. Using self-aids is a good thing!

TLDR: So much of BPD can be almost totally mitigated with empathy, pre-planning, and understanding. Having a partner with a mental illness isn't always easy, but we could be doing a lot better for people with CPTSD/BPD, and frankly, for anyone with a mental or physical disability than we are right now with leave him sis dating culture. Obviously, this whole post depends on both people being able to introspect enough to enact these things. If you have BPD, mindfulness, CBT (the therapy kind), and DBT can be very helpful for consciously managing your way through triggers.

Sources:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35357883/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3182008/

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/January-2022/Understanding-Mental-Illness-Triggers

https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjc.12216

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentification

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-ptsd/202006/is-it-borderline-personality-disorder-or-is-it-really-complex-ptsd

https://psychcentral.com/ptsd/how-ptsd-cptsd-and-bpd-can-impact-relationships

https://mark-havens.medium.com/understanding-cognitive-empathy-the-key-to-better-relationships-and-communication-8b3ea7a4370c

https://www.youtube.com/@HowtoADHD

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6026651/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/affective-perspective-taking

you made it this far heres a cool storm i saw from a plane

[wetslug]

going to west ed mall today and im going to be very brave about it

[teslathelame]

help what would tetonito be

uhhhhh idk that lil guy from dungeon meshi?

^ this guy

[lemonlovemeanslove]

Oh anxiety and sexism get me out of here light a fire under my ass I'll even join the hustle culture I'll give up my natural inclination anything anything to get out of here out of this hellhole

[wellfell]

eheheh . ✨💕

[portuguesedisaster]

Sooo...I have a joke.

[springlock-suits]

I was going to make a post like "fnaf 1 furry employee who doesn't realize yhe animatronics are trying to kill them because they always wear their fursuit to work" but then I realized that's literally just my William. That's just him.

[im-not-even-sorry]

If I had a nickel for every time I sexualized a well-educated older physiotherapist with nice facial hair, a soft belly and steady warm large hands that tried to fix my elbow, I'd have three nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened thrice

[a-v-j]

:D

[meekscutoff]

I can't believe saw x confirmed amanda is trans