#cheesy that sounds just bare with me... or better yet listen to the song its really good trust me ok?)

[an-au-blog]

Oh, your love is sunlight

Happy (late) Valentine's Day (version without text ↓ +description in tags)

[yelenasdog]

moving out, moving on (mitch rapp x fem reader)

genre: fluff

summary: mitch and reader are taking another step towards mitch moving on, and it’s bittersweet.

words: 2.2k

warnings: drinking wine, kinda suggestive at times, talks abt katrina, mitch being emotional, my writing being melodramatic LOL

a/n: so. this was written during an all nighter that went to 7 am where i was listening to nicki minaj and eminem (???) for a good duration of it so. i’m very sorry if this is wonky at times! i hope u enjoy either way! mwah 

🥍🥍🥍

The early morning rays streamed through thin fabric, draped above the assassin's window. Dust particles floated about, becoming visible within the section of light cast from the sun. The birds perched outside the small apartment tweeted happily from their branch, their songs beautiful. 

Though, they were quite pesterous to the pair that lay together, wrapped in gray sheets. They reveled in the heat provided by the soft blanket, but even more so by the warmth from their joint bodies.

A mop of dark brown hair stirred, bringing one hand up to softly rub his eyes with his knuckle, the other hand snaking around the waist of the woman peacefully sleeping beside him. He watched with fond eyes as she lightly groaned, rolling to face away from the invasion of bright, turning towards her love. 

Mitch smiled down at her sleepy behavior, reaching out and brushing stray hairs from her forehead. He reluctantly retracted it only moments later, forcing himself out of bed to go and prepare the two of them for their big day as best he knew how: Coffee.

His sock clad feet dragged across the hardwood as he went, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips and groggy-ness (a word Y/n had donned as her own, and Mitch had caught on to) still very prevalent in his entire system. 

The Rhode Island air was frigid this time of year, Mitch allowing a grin to break out on his face upon remembrance of two nights previous, just how cold Y/n had been in the arena of the Providence Bruins hockey team. Nose pink, donned in a beanie proudly showing the team's logo, well, he had found himself a new lockscreen.

He shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of said groggy-ness, his body on autopilot as it made the beverages. He picked out her favorite mug from the cupboard (AKA a souvenir from Dubai he had picked up long ago) that she had adopted as her own, drinking out of it every time she would spend the night, almost like clockwork. He waited for his coffee beans to brew, scratching his stubble along his jaw. He flinched, though, when he felt two arms wrap around his middle. He quickly relaxed into the embrace upon realization of who the supposed assailant was, her head finding its way to rest on his bare shoulder.

“You scared me, there.” Mitch muttered, his larger hand inching towards her’s on his waist. He closed his eyes in content and she hummed in acknowledgment. Mitch allowed her to turn his figure to face her, still residing in her arms, seeing a bright smile plastered across her face.

“Only for a minute though, right?”

She laughed to which he chuckled in response, nodding in false surrender. “You’ve got me there, Y/n/n.” He mused, his eyes lighting up at the sound of the coffee machine beeping. He looked back to her, shrugging.

“I made you coffee, was gonna bring it to you in bed but, y’know.” He gestured to where she had now climbed up to sit on top of his counter, his sweatshirt around her that read “Brown University” across the front in large lettering pooling around her thighs.

“It’s alright, I need to get a move on anyway.” She smiled, hopping down to retrieve the mug, taking the warm ceramic from Mitch’s hands and sighing at the wondrous feeling that had spread through her whole body. She lifted it to her lips and drank, not surprised that her boyfriend had made it just the way she liked, to perfection. 

“Thank you, baby.” She commented, reaching up to plant a chaste kiss on his lips. Her lip curled as she pulled away, Mitch already knowing what she was going to say, a laugh bubbling up in his throat.

“Mitch! Go brush your teeth, for the love of God!” She whined, watching as he scampered off towards the bathroom, snickering all the way. She rolled her eyes, downing the rest of her beverage before following where Mitch had gone.

Once in the bathroom after rinsing her and Mitch’s mugs, she tied her hair up, undressing and turning on the water (practically scalding hot, of course). Mitch had no objections to the temperature, though, seeing as it was his last time showering with her in that apartment, and in that apartment, period. 

The whole thing felt very symbolic to Y/n, at least, seeing it as washing themselves clean for the next phase of their lives together, a sort of preparation. (Maybe not so much for Mitch, who really was just pleased for any excuse to see his girlfriend naked.)

They used generous amounts of soap, as not only were most of them nearly empty (in fact, a few were and if it weren’t for Y/n, they probably all would be), but also that they had decided to simply just buy new toiletries as a whole for their new place.

They giggled at the sight of each other, all lathered in bubbles and suds. Mitch reached a finger forward, wiping it from above her eyebrows and preventing it from falling into her eyes. Y/n brought her arms around his neck, her lips connecting with his. “Much better.” She regarded with a smirk, before leaning back in.

Nearly 40 minutes later, they both emerged from the shower, fresh faced and ready for the day ahead. He didn’t have a lot that needed to be packed up, given that his place came fully furnished, so it took all but 2 hours and 5 boxes to pack up Mitch Rapp’s life. It honestly might have taken even longer than originally would have been needed, as Y/n would stop every time she found something interesting, allowing Mitch to tell her all about whatever stories had been connected to the item.

It had started with the ridiculous bird lamp that sat on his bedside table, once belonging to Mr. Nazir, and ended with his lacrosse stick. (And, a promise that one day, he’d show her how to play. He swore he’d never seen her smile that big.)

They also threw away and donated a lot, some of Kat’s old stuff bringing a pained smile to his face as he would place it in a box simply labeled “Kat” in messy, thick letters. He wasn’t sure if the box would end up in his new closet, covered in dust and unopened, or back with her family. But either way, he wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to her completely, which Y/n was able to understand.

“Mitch? Did you pack away your coats already?” Y/n called out, opening up the closet near the front door. Her breath slightly hitched in her throat upon seeing all of the photos of Mansur, still pasted to the painted wood, the edges curling up. 

“Nah, not yet, I was gonna handle that while you worked on the cupboards” He responded, busying himself with a text from Irene on his phone wishing him good luck. He looked up and saw what she had been asking about, his phone quickly sliding into his pocket as he made his way over to where she stood, visibly distressed. 

“How long have these been here?” She questioned, feeling Mitch’s arms wrap around her shoulders. She brought her hands up to grasp onto his wrists, leaning backwards into him and biting into her lip.

“Since the beach, when I decided to go after Mansur. When everything happened with the CIA, it was kind of a whirlwind, I didn’t really have enough time to even think about taking it down when I was only even here for hours at a time.” He lightly chuckled, watching as she stepped forward and began to take the pictures down, crumbling them up in her hands. 

She ran her fingertips over the indents left in the door, feeling the splinters against them. She turned back to Mitch, quipping how “Mr. Nazir won’t be too pleased about that.” 

He smiled, joining her in taking all of the images down, ripping them or balling them up in his fists. All of them ended up in one of the old Target bags they had been using for trash, filling up an entire bag (minus a few Dunkin cups sitting at the bottom).

Mitch trailed a few tender kisses down the left side of her next, and though it sounds cheesy, a feeling of hopefulness flooded himself out of most of the bitterness that had been stuck inside for so long. 

She turned her head to catch his lips with her own, and smiled into the kiss, her hand finding the back of his head. She lightly tugged on the chocolate colored strands and he groaned in content, to which her grin only widened. She pulled back, ruffling the top of his head before beginning to pack away the remnants of what was left in the closet. He rolled his eyes, following suit.

They had piled all of the boxes into the back of Mitch’s old decommissioned CIA vehicle (which was obvious that is was such, given that the side was littered with bullet holes and metallic scratches), returned the key to Mr. Nazir (who was glad to see Mitch go), and with that, they were off.

The new place wasn’t too far away, the pair taking a page out of Stan’s book and opting for a wonderful sense of privacy. It was nestled in a rural corner of Massachusetts, where Mitch would be able to come home to a sense of serenity. Y/n had already moved in her possessions, Mitch’s items being the last step. They’d also furnished the cozy cabin, trips to IKEA and Urban Outfitters (along with several other over-priced boutiques) making the place feel like a perfect fit for the couple.

Mitch’s strange and varied knick knacks made the house feel like a home, his lacrosse stick finding a new home by the front door, right under a hanging potted plant that Y/n and Mitch had decided to affectionately name “Charles” after a drunken night watching the X-Men movies. The house was littered in plants such as Charles, in fact, with Mitch’s first response to seeing all of them being “Wow, looks like a greenhouse in here.”

(Still, he’d grown to love the plant babies. Trust me.)

Two tired smiles made their ways to their faces as they both sat on their new sofa, admiring a job well done. Though several boxes still lay on the hardwood, unopened, they felt accomplished enough to pull out a bottle of wine that they had been saving for the occasion. It was an early housewarming gift from Stan, to which they were unprepared to take advantage of, it seemed.

“Baby, did we unpack the wine glasses earlier?” Mitch questioned, his mind slightly foggy of the day's events and early start.

“No, I think they’re still packed up.” She replied, to which Mitch’s eyes lit up, an idea forming and an imaginary lightbulb popping up over his head. He got up from his seat, a wide smile spreading across his face. Her expression mirrored his own, with an added quirked brow at his antics.

“I’ve got a solution, wait here.” Mitch responded, padding over to where he had remembered the new home of the mugs to be. Upon realization of what he was doing, Y/n smiled, rolling her eyes and bringing a hand up to run through her roots.

He shuffled back over moments later, his girlfriend recognizing one of the mugs in his hands as her favorite. He sat down next to her, with the bare skin of her thighs touching his own, jean clad. He bumped his knee to hers with a giggle, pouring out the Pinot Grigio into the mugs. 

She gratefully accepted it as it was handed to her, smiling as she took a sip. Mitch did the same, the two of them leaning back into the soft sofa. Y/n brought her legs up, cuddling into his side and absorbing his warmth. He brought his free hand to her side, a strong hold giving them both a strong sense of comfort as she lay her head on his shoulder.

The box labeled “Kat” remained unpacked along with the others on the floor, dust already beginning to gather. Mitch had come across it a few times that day, each time more thoughtful than the last as he struggled to decide what it was exactly he was feeling towards the objects; or perhaps towards the memory of Katrina.

He had come to realize that it was acceptance he felt, deep in his stomach, settling down. It had been brought upon him in totality over time, today’s events being the final step. A soft smile spread across Mitch’s face, a single tear falling from his eye. Y/n looked up, eyebrows furrowed with worry.

“Mitch, are you alright?”

He leaned down, connecting their lips in a watery yet nectarous kiss, his hand beginning to rub small circles on her shoulder. 

“Yeah, Y/n/n.” 

The fire they had built earlier was roaring, now, casting a warm glow across the pair’s features. The damp trail down his cheek was highlighted, nearly glistening on his skin like an amber. 

“I’m doin’ just fine.”

🥍🥍🥍

ok btw ik that wine in mugs would be a horrible idea but this is fiction so SHUSH

anyway i hope yall enjoyed! i love writing for mitch and i have lots of future fics for him, so if u liked this, please reblog and follow if ya wanna. mwah, go drink water and have some protein <333

 xx hj

[peeterparkr]

red; tom’s version|two.

chapter two: the lucky one. “You don’t feel pretty, you feel used”

pairing: Tom Holland x Reader story summary: you’re reminiscing through your relationship a month after the heartbreak and breakup. Wondering if it went wrong from the very start when Tom arrived at New York, and him being a cautionary tale or if the problems came along the way. Perhaps the key to find back your way to him is going back through the nice things before the heartbreak came. Or is it too painful to go all over again?

chapter summary: bottle caps, a red scarf and two coincidences that probably mean something warnings: angsty a bit, cussing, word count: 6.7k playlist (updated after each chapter, including Red songs+ other for the chapter): Spotify | Apple Music

fic masterlist previous chapter next chapter

Present day. One month after the breakup.

Tom knew he had to stay quiet. Or rather, there was barely anything he could say while he was plotting his next words. He could barely believe he had a chance.

Walking down the streets with her quietly as he saw her, arranging her own thoughts. She had agreed to listen.

And he knew it was because whatever they’d felt, it made it worth it.

Y/N was angry. Not sad, angry. He had expected her to be crying. He didn’t want to be the reason why she would and he tried thinking he wasn’t. Though, deep inside, he was perfectly aware that he would be blamed for the tears that she’d shed in the last few months.

He wasn’t proud of that.

Guilt blinds. And Tom was blind in an attempt to shield. It was easier to shield on his own excuses that would serve barely as a plea to forgiveness.

Glares were directed at him. Her jaw was clenched and she had crossed her arms. The moment she’d realized what she’d agreed to, she’d turned stiff.

“Aren’t you cold?” Tom had tried asking.

“I don’t wish to speak to you.”

Fair.

And it was the middle of the night once again, how many times had they not walked under the stars with barely a destiny to reach. And now he was walking to his doom.

Y/N was mental.

In a good way. But the girl had taught him how insane you can be when it comes to relationships. In the best way possible, not as an insult.

Tom knew that he had fucked up. And he had been in New York for a while, though he hadn’t spoken to her directly, knowing that approaching her would only wound her.

It was colder now, Christmas was barely around the corner. In any other circumstance, it would’ve added to the romance.

Here it was just a bad omen of whatever would come next. The lights flickered as soon as they were walking past them.

“Are—are we not going to talk?” Tom questioned anyway. “I thought—“

Y/N shrugged. “I’m still deciding it, you see, I don’t know if I want to listen to you break my heart in an attempt of forged honesty.”

Tom dug his hands in his pockets. “I genuinely want to apologize.”

“And I genuinely don’t like you,” she snapped. “You see my problem?”

Tom sighed. “Fine,” he gulped. “But you are cold, that thing isn’t covering your neck or chest.”

Y/N had gone for a rather inadequate option for a cold winter day. Though Tom would agree that the black dress had been yet another punch to his stomach, all of course with an attempt to make him regret it, it was still rather unsuitable for the freezing city. But she looked stunning.

Her coat barely covered her, and her crossed arms were probably more of an attempt to warm herself and it served as a clear exposition of her anger.

She didn’t answer, however.

“You could wear this,” Tom offered, showing her the red scarf that once belonged to her. Tom liked to think that it now belonged to them.

The red scarf that had become a token to their relationship. From the very first day.

Y/N looked at it, and reluctantly took it. “It’s only because I’m cold.”

But Tom wanted to think it wasn’t only because of that. Wearing the scarf meant she was opening a door for him.

Seeing her again had been quite different from what Tom had expected, her hair was different and her makeup too. Her gaze seemed lost.

Whoever was standing beside him didn’t seem like her. She was a stranger, a very familiar one. But there wasn’t that visible spark that he’d fallen for. Not that he wouldn’t be able to love the figure in front of him but he feared he was the reason for its disappearance.

“It smells like you,” y/n whispered as she wrapped the scarf around her neck.

Tom smiled, briefly. “I’ve been wearing it. Your own smell wore out,” he regretted saying that. “That sounded way too creepy or cheesy.”

“Both, somehow,” she agreed. “Don’t ever say that kind of shit again.”

Tom gulped a chuckle, “noted.”

There was still that y/n in there, the one that liked the kind of cheesy things that he could say. The ones that came up at the right moment. Though, there was still that y/n that didn’t take any bullshit.

Tom hadn’t gone exactly through diamonds and sparkles after the breakup. And the city was now quite different from when it had first received him. Now covered with dark smoke and trash, with only skeletons of trees.

Guilt drowns. And Tom was, undoubtedly, drowning in a drought. Everything had dried off yet he felt like he could barely breathe.

Knowing you’re the reason for someone’s hurt is no fantasy.

And he was broken, too. Very, very broken. However, he knew he was seen as the bad guy here and he wouldn’t call himself less, and he wouldn’t admit he was aching too.

So he was trying to ignore it.

Her apartment building hadn’t changed. Not that Tom had expected it to, but it was nice to come to a familiar place. He noticed the stairs were still rusty and unclean and creaked as he walked in. New creaks had come in that he hadn’t memorized yet. He hoped he would have the chance to.

Y/N stopped at her door, with more questions than answers to give him.

“I really don’t know if I can do this,” she admitted to him. “But I know that if I don’t give you a chance to explain yourself I’ll never forgive myself.”

“That’s fair. But…I’ll do whatever you want me to, but please let me explain it to you,” he begged. “I—If you want me to leave New York and never come again I’ll understand.”

Y/N crossed her arms and leaned against the door, a red door that would open to memories he couldn’t quite forget.

“I already said I would listen,” she recalled. “But—“ her eyes met his, they looked tired. “I am having an inner monologue on why this is stupid.”

“Care to share?”

She took a heavy breath, “Well, you see, Tom, if that even is your real name…”

“Really? You’re—“Tom tried hard not to roll his eyes. “Yes, my name is Tom.”

“Tom….”

“Holland.”

“Hm, interesting. Holland, I remembered it being something else. You’re a liar, just making sure,” she said. “I’m—I just feel stupid. Because I shouldn’t be feeling this way for such a short relationship, is that even—was it? Can we even call it that?”

Her words felt bitter to Tom’s own tongue. He understood why she was defensive. “Yes.”

“Well, I don’t fucking know, maybe we confused whatever we were feeling with love, or—“

“I didn’t—“

“Could be easy, Tommy, you’re an actor, actors, as far as I know, act, and man did you play such an amazing role,” she snarled as she opened her door, leading the way. “Be quiet, by the way, I don’t want to wake up Lula or Jules.”

Tom walked in into what seemed a messed snapshot of how he remembered the place. It was the same, in essence. But sadder. The apartment still had a few sweaters here and there, and y/N’s notebooks all over it.

He could see Lula’s leftovers in their coffee table and some candy wraps that Julia had probably been eating while reading her book.

He turned to that one corner and saw it, the jukebox that had been what had defined y/n’s and his relationship. He dug his hand into his pocket to search for the locket y/n had given back. Tom squeezed it as he searched in his pocket for something else.

Guilt kills. And Tom was dying.

“Here,” Tom said as he reached out for three beer caps in his pocket, “I brought these to you,” he offered them to her, knowing there were jars full of them.

Y/N collected them. Or rather, it was her latest collection that she’d later use for her art. Or whatever she was into at the moment.

The apartment was small. It had two bedrooms which they all shared. They’d rotate whoever had the luck to have the single room. So small. And yet it felt so big.

Y/n pursed her lips but then took the beer caps and placed them on the counter.

“We’re going to the roof,” y/n said. “I’m just getting us some wine—No,” she shook her head, probably realizing that having wine would make the moment a tad more romantic or cuddly than she expected it to be. “Make yourself useful and make some tea, I’ll go change myself, I’m freezing.”

She’d brought blankets and a hoodie he hadn’t remembered he had left. They didn’t have to go to the roof, Julia was staying with Matt and Lula was not back yet from wherever she was.

She had stayed quiet, for a bit. Cuddled up in the same couch where they—

“Do you like your tea?” Questioned Tom.

She looked up. “Yeah, you can add that to your many talents. Right before lying.”

“I make better tea than lies? Good to know.”

Y/N shrugged. “How long have you been here?”

“A… few days,” Tom admitted. “I have been trying to walk up to your door but I keep getting lost in the subway, and when I did come here I panicked and cried.”

Y/N shrugged. “I thought I saw you, the other day,” she said.

“Oh?”

“It wasn’t you,” y/n confessed. “So I just yelled at a poor stranger. I—I genuinely feel sorry for him.”

Tom tried not to chuckle. “What did you yell?”

“I called him a bastard and asked what was wrong with him,” she scrunched her nose. “Not my proudest moment. I was kicked out of the bus.”

Tom gulped. “I’m sorry,” he took a deep breath. “You can yell at me if that helps.”

She shrugged. “No, I think I’m good, I let it all out with him,” she grimaced. “But I might just—“she picked up a pillow and threw it at him with barely any energy.

“Fair enough,” he nodded. “But I can be your punching bag, I deserve it,” he admired. “I see the jukebox,” Tom said, motioning to it.

She shrugged. “Yeah, would be stupid if you didn’t. It’s quite big. Barely any space left.”

Tom chuckled. “I meant—“

“No, no, I know what you mean. I’m trying to ignore it,” y/n admitted. “I notice it too, every day. Almost threw it away.”

Tom nodded. “Why didn’t you?”

“Well, it’s a very functional jukebox, the music on it,” she said. “It would be stupid to throw out something like that.”

Tom had expected a different answer, one rather more romantic. Like, that maybe throwing it out would’ve meant throwing him away.

“Right. I’m surprised the cops haven’t come for it.”

She smiled.

She… smiled?

She smiled.

Tom hadn’t thought he would see it again. So comforting. And genuine. Not forced.

“It’s not stolen,” she reminded him, “not really.”

Tom decided to smile back, but to himself. He couldn’t really look her in the eye.

“I guess I also kept it for the same reason why you kept that stupid scarf,” y/n added. Quieter now.

Tom took a deep breath. “It’s a fashionable accessory.”

Y/n rolled her eyes. “It’s been out of fashion for 10 years.”

“Trends come back.”

Y/N looked up. “Not when they're horrible, no,” she said with a heavy breath. “I don’t—“She shook her head. “No, we can’t do this.”

“Do what?” Tom questioned.

“Talk like you didn’t break my heart,” she snarked, gulping down her thoughts. “I always knew your heart never truly belonged to me, you know?” y/n said, holding to her mug. The tea was probably cold now. As so were they.

Tom was taken aback by that statement. “I—at the beginning—“

“No, it never truly did. Not completely.”

“I—“ but Tom didn’t have an answer to it.

The night was cold and New York was still awake. But it felt like it was them and only them even if they felt like oceans apart. He hated it. The first time he’d ever been truly lucky he had run out of luck.

Y/N watched him. “I always knew it was meant to be for a short time and I didn’t need anything more, I somehow knew that you’d hurt me,” she explained.

Tom had never meant to go this far. “I never meant—“

“Imagine if you had meant it though, how crushed would I have been. It wasn’t your intention, and yet I ended up crying on the floor,” she said, ironically

Tom couldn’t say more but an “I am so sorry.”

“I know you are,” she said. “I hope you are.”

Tom stared at her, “I am.”

Y/N directed him a single glance. “I don’t think you understand, Tom. This month has been the shittiest in my life.”

Tom didn’t have enough words to apologize. Or he had too many to say. Instead, he could word out anything.

“The worst part is that you also gave me the best fucking days of my life,” she continued. “So I’m at a crossroads here. Because there’s a part of me that thinks it was all bullshit and there’s also the part that knows it couldn’t be.”

Tom watched her. “It was not bullshit,” he said. “It was real.”

“That’s the worst part,” she pointed out. “I think, yeah, all of it being real then it makes it hurt even more because that means I lost the best thing to ever happen to me and you lost something so real.”

Tom nodded. “I lost the best thing to ever happen to me, too.”

Y/N was, without a doubt, the best thing he’d never looked for.

“Did you lose it because of me? Or did you lose me?” She quickly questioned, raising her brows.

Y/N was also a murderer.

“Well,” she took a deep breath, ignoring his sight as he was trying to know how to Answer. “You better start explaining yourself.”

“Before I—I… I… Right, well—Before I came here—I—Ella—“

She closed her eyes. “Actually, no.”

Tom paused, in fear.

“Here’s what we’re going to do, we will….” Y/N tried arranging her thoughts. “Tell me from the moment you hopped on the plane.”

Tom stayed quiet.

“I need to know how it looked from the moment you arrived, not… before, although I’m risking the fact you’re an unreliable narrator.”

“I am a terrible narrator,” he admitted.

Two months before the breakup. Tom’s version.

Tom remembered how little it had taken him to make the decision to escape. He had decided to escape from what everyone told him he should love.

With a backpack, his passport and a half ass made suitcase, he had hopped on the first flight to New York. No regrets as it had taken off. Sweet Escape airlines had been so kind to him.

Not telling anyone about it. To their eyes, he probably was only late to a party, and they’d see him in a few minutes with an excuse of an apology.

Yet, he was on a plane. Escaping from the perfect life.

They always said how lucky he was. Didn’t they? How incredible it was to have what he had. Because he had everything.

And he was running away from it. He watched the people on the plane, his seat was unflattering, next to an old lady who seemed to be rather impolite.

He remembered when he had made the decision to run out, the night before, a camera flash had blinded him and time had suddenly stopped. Just a few hours before hopping on the plane. Everyone expected him to do something he was not ready for. Everyone thought it would come.

Even Eleanor.

Especially Eleanor. Ella was probably counting only the minutes for his arrival. He had promised her he would be there.

No one could ever judge Tom for the decision he had made. Well, everyone would. But Tom liked to believe they couldn’t. As a technicality, that is. That they had absolutely no right to do it.

His parents wouldn’t be proud of it. Too bad.

Tom was nervous, though. The decision had been, undoubtedly, rushed. He hadn’t shown up to that early brunch.

Still wearing a suit, with a white buttoned shirt unbuttoned on his neck. He had still almost gone to that brunch in that FancyAss restaurante.

A brunch? He thought to himself. How incredibly out of character it seemed, he had become a caricature of whatever they wanted him to be.

Did he have to apologize to Eleanor? He didn’t want to.

He really didn’t want to.

He looked at his phone, Harry was calling him. A few other texts from his mother, too. Two missed calls from Ella. Probably wondering why he was late. He hoped they didn’t wait for him, for he would never arrive.

New York was a bit far from it.

The whole flight had been him trying to figure out if it was a good choice.

But he was given an ultimatum, and when those come you have to decide.

His decision was to go to New York. And it was the best choice.

It was, of course, but it was alright to doubt it. It was not likely of him to simply run away.

He didn’t have it all figured out. And that’s why he was clutching his backpack. He was chasing a dream that he didn’t even know he had.

Maybe that’s why he was running away. He didn’t know who he was. But of course he had heard it, how he looked like a million bucks. And he had said it to everyone else the night before, how the stars looked like diamonds in the skies.

He was making a name for himself, he knew that. Or rather, they were making a name for him. And he didn’t know who he was.

The flight was rather short, or maybe Tom barely had any time to think about it.

Running away from his own country, from his family, friends and from Ella, whom he barely had a title for right now.

The city was quick to receive him with bustling crowds, people pushing and rushing. But also opening up as he was walking in. Dancing around him.

How magical. He thought to himself as he tried texting Harrison, hoping his best friend wouldn’t mind receiving him at his place.

Tom managed to get a taxi that was waiting right outside the airport.

He hopped in and grinned to himself proudly. He was there.

With a new city ahead of him and no one expecting anything from him. With no one telling him what to do, with no one giving him an ultimatum and no one with orders for him.

“Where to?” Asked the taxi driver, as he stared from the mirror.

Tom, though he was not proud of it, was having a moment. “I’m running away from my life,” Tom explained. “don’t you ever get tired of the role you’re supposed to play? Like you were not meant to play it but now you’re too stuck in it.”

“Man, I'm sorry, I ain’t got no time for that kind of poeticbullshit, I need an address.”

The moment ended quickly. “Right. Sorry. I’m an idiot… uh, it’s this one.” Tom had to look up for Haz’s address.

“Every time,” the driver sighed, chuckling. “Why do y’all think New York is some sort of magical city that will give you the answer to whatever you’re going through.”

Tom’s smile widened sarcastically, “Well, isn’t it?”

“Guess it is, in a way, but I’ll tell you something,” the driver stated, “whatever you think New York will give to you, it'll be the very opposite. It won’t be what you want but it might just be what you need.”

“Oh really?” Tom chuckled, “who’s the one with the poetic crap now?”

“No, I’m messing with you, damn all you tourists believe that kind of thing huh? New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of huh.”

“It’s what we’re sold,” Tom gave in.

“That sounds pretty, don’t it? To not get what you want but what you need.”

“It does.”

In a way, he was right. Tom would’ve thought he needed a break. To escape. That’s what he wanted right?

But what did he need?

The city welcomed him with a short rain, the water reflected the twinkling lights, as the shadows were reflecting the life he had left behind. The people rushed with their coats, as they were off to their lives. And it felt like he was finally breathing.

Although he would not share his thoughts with the driver again, Tom thought this was what he needed. A new start with no one that would judge him.

That’s probably why he’d chosen New York, the people are too busy living their own crazy lives to focus on someone so insignificant like him. He didn’t have to be whoever he was before, the pretty face, the cool guy everyone liked.

No, he was a guy in a stupid cab, and not to be worried if they said he hadn’t chosen a better ride, on a bigger car.

No, no announcement of whatever he was going to do on the papers because his dad had arranged it.

No, now he was but what he always wanted to be. One of those cautionary tales that they tell about people who go mad and escape and live.

He was a legend now.

Maybe they were right, he was lucky. He was lucky because he had finally made it out of there.

And he saw the lights, with Broadway shows waiting for him, with new adventures coming. With a new life that he wanted to create. The Broadway signs changed to Tom’s sight.

‘A very new life for the Lucky One.’ Starring Tom Holland.

A new beginning.

Maybe he was lucky. Though he never wanted to be in the spotlight. He constantly was, though.

Except, of course, for the fact that Haz hadn’t really answered his text the way he wanted to.

Haz probably didn’t believe Tom that he was in the city.

He would just knock at the door then.

“Well man, I hope whatever kind of role you want you get it,” the driver had said as Tom had hopped off.

Harrison’s building was far from fancy. Harrison had often described it as an ‘affordable pigsty’. Tom wouldn’t describe it as anything else.

But it was perfect. The perfect stage for his new charade.

Tom carried the now heavier backpack and suitcase up and was lucky enough that someone had entered the building so he could go up and show up uninvited to Haz’s apartment. If he could call it that.

He knocked, two times and Haz opened the door.

“Piss off, you’re not actually here!” Was the way Haz had decided to greet.

Tom laughed. “I fucking am.”

“You bastard,” Haz grinned before pulling his friend into a hug. “No way, I didn’t believe you. Man, I’m so glad to see you!”

“You too, man your place is…” Tom couldn’t finish.

“A pigsty but it’s home, I’ll make some place.”

And they had.

Haz had left a few years ago, with a dream in his head and a chance to make it. Or… a chance to get a chance to make it.

Leaving London had been quite such a simple decision for him. An inspiring actor that could’ve made it back at home but decided to leave for New York? It was stupid, honestly. Very anticlimactic of him.

But like Tom, Harrison had to escape before he was pulled in.

Just like Tom had been, tangled up. Tom’s ‘big break’ had yet to come but his family had managed to get him to the rising star he was.

He loved what he did, acting was definitely his true passion but not like this. Not buying his way into parts, not going out with someone so he could be considered. Hanging around with the right people just so they could get him a role.

Haz had gone for plays instead, and Tom knew he was fantastic. But he also had to get his big break. The industry had a funny way to say this.

“So, you just left?” Haz asked with a beer in his hand as he’d taken Tom to his favorite bar. Beers were cheaper there, and given that it was a Thursday, the happy hour lasted longer.

The bar was different from what Tom had expected. An old jukebox that was playing odd songs, colorful things. Very odd.

“I bloody just left,” Tom admitted. “What was I supposed to do?”

Harrison rubbed his face, “I dunno.”

“I couldn’t keep pretending,” Tom said, as he played with the bottle. “I—It wasn’t me.”

“But didn’t you just get cast in—something important?” He questioned.

Tom sighed, “Not for talent, no.”

He had seen a girl walk up to the jukebox and pay again to play “Twist and Shout” by The Beatles, she moved her head along to the song.

“Man, who bloody cares?” Haz rolled his eyes bringing the attention back to him. “You’re getting somewhere! You look pretty, you’re cool, and you’re getting somewhere.”

Tom knew where Haz was coming from. Things were going perfectly, one could argue. But it didn’t feel real. It was just a game of make believe where Tom had eventually been dug in.

“It wasn’t that,” Tom admitted. “Ella gave me an ultimatum.”

Harrison stopped, probably now understanding more why he had left. “And how do you feel about that?”

Tom stared at his beer. “Not how I’m supposed to.”

Harrison watched him. “One can only pretend for so long.”

“Yeah,” Tom sighed as he undressed the beer bottle.

“Does anyone know you escaped?” Haz asked.

Tom grimaced, pulling out his phone, turned off. “No, well, Harry knows, I told him I had left but didn’t tell him where to,” he said before unwillingly turning it back on, to show the billion notifications popping up. Multiple text messages, missed calls. “I need a new phone so I can keep this one turned off.”

“I think you should tell someone, otherwise they’re going to call the police or something,” Haz suggested.

Tom sighed, “Before I do let me go get another round,” he said as he headed to the bar.

Though Tom should’ve known right then and there that his life would change, he was very oblivious as he saw a couple. The beautiful girl sitting right beside… some guy. The very same girl who had played ‘Twist and Shout’.

She wasn’t smiling anymore, and Tom could only interpret her stare as something unpleasant. The guy and her were both stiff.

Tom couldn’t blame the guy because he was often criticized for also being like him. Not being able to make the beautiful girl beside him smile. Not understanding her worth and brilliance as anyone else in the room did.

She had dressed up, it seemed, just for her very date and he was just… there. The guy was simply an unuseful accessory adorning her side. His eyes were glued to the TV on the bar, a program that seemed to be very uneventful.

Tom often liked overhearing conversations, and this time wasn’t an exception.

“I recently discovered my new collection,” the girl said. Tom noticed the scarf on her neck,“I will start collecting bottle caps.”

The guy looked over, “Is it going to be for your new project that you’ll never finish?”

“I will finish it,” she said as she took off the scarf, now playing with it, tying and untying it. “And I’m going to ask Ben here to save me as many as he can.”

“Y/N,” the guy said. Pretty name, thought Tom. Fitting. “You never finish them.”

“Art is never finished, William,” the girl, y/n, defended again. “It’s only… abandoned.”

“My point,” The guy, William, rolled her eyes, “You never get through with them.”

“I do,” she defended herself. “You just never pay attention to it.”

Tom watched her frustration. Even then the guy wasn’t really into the conversation. He didn’t blame him, really. But he was more on y/n’s side.

“I think you should pay attention to more important stuff. Instead of wasting your time doing whatever.”

“Art isn't whatever,” she sighed, and then frowned, noticing Tom was watching them.

“I’m not saying it’s whatever, y/n, but you’ve got to have other dreams rather than collecting beer caps.”

Y/N looked away, “It’s for a painting.”

“A painting you’ll get bored of eventually, it’s always the same, y/n,” the guy was still too busy with his own beer watching the TV.

Y/N clenched her jaw but then directed her glance at Tom, still intrigued by the conversation.

Tom cleared his throat as he finally got his beers, the guy opened them for him but Tom asked for the beer caps.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help but listen,” Tom admitted before giving her the beer caps. “Good luck on your project.” The girl finally smiled as the guy accompanying her glared at him.

Tom shrugged and dedicated them both a smile before going back to Harrison. Had Tom been William he would’ve appreciated that someone made his girl smile, it was a waste not to share her smile with the world.

And Tom, out of everyone, understood what the girl had said, people bringing him down were always for him so to have genuine support from a stranger would help her. And him.

Yes never getting anything done but still having a passion for it was accomplishment enough.

“So what’s your plan?” Haz asked as soon as he was back. Tom watched the girl, still.

“I have none,” Tom admitted, watching as y/n and William were still arguing, probably now over the fact that Tom had left the beer caps. He didn’t feel guilty, even when both of them were pointing at him as the argument kept going. “I will just—Get a break for a few days. A well deserved vacation.”

Haz watched him. “Right.”

“You know, be a tourist,” Tom shrugged. “I—I dunno I just needed to get out,” Tom sipped from his bottle as his eyes were glued to the couple, now arguing loudly but not loud enough to be understood.

Haz followed his gaze. “What are you looking at?”

“Dunno, they’re odd,” Tom shrugged. But they weren’t really. He just saw his future, so uninterested to the girl beside him.

“Not really, you should get used to that,” Haz said. “But—You’re going to tell Harry, right!”

“Problem is,” Tom brought back the attention to Haz. “I don’t think Harry will be able to keep the secret.”

Harrison crossed his arms. “What are you really doing here Tom? You do realize that you’re hurting everyone—“

“Yeah, yeah fuck that, I know, I feel guilty. But—I can’t anymore. I couldn’t fucking stay there, not anymore,” Tom snapped. “It’s not Ella’s fault. Well not entirely but—“

“No, I know,” Haz rolled his eyes, “guess the perfect life can get boring.”

Harrison thought so too then. That Tom had the perfect life. How was it perfect? How was it really? Tom was not perfect. He was far from it, nothing about it was spectacular. He wasn’t living. Even though everyone around him thought he was having the time of his life Tom couldn’t help but feel miserable.

He wasn’t getting what he truly wanted. He didn’t enjoy the roles he was getting or the parties he was attending. He was far from what his dream was. And though his ‘breakout’ would come eventually and he’d have the chance to be who he wanted to be, it wasn’t coming any time soon and he doubted that he’d be able to be happy.

Or maybe he would be. He needed a break.

Tom caught up with Haz, his life, his misery and whatever the conversation led to, it’s fair to say that Tom’s head could barely pay any attention. His decision was sinking. He’d escaped his life.

He saw the girl from before leave, with the guy following her with frustration.

“They’re gonna break up,” Haz said watching them too.

Tom saw the girl had left the unfashionable red scarf behind.

He expected them to come back for them but they didn’t.

Eventually, Tom and Haz left. Tom picked up the scarf. He tried to say that it was a little reminder that he’d helped someone. He had actually been drawn to it. He couldn’t explain why. So he kept that idea.

Of course, he’d seen the red scarf and then regretted instantly taking it. Haz had judged him too.

“Why the fuck would you pick up a stranger’s scarf?”

“Because.”

The next day, with very little sleep and a bit of a headache from the jet lag and the beers, and after telling Haz he’d be productive, he decided he wouldn’t be and instead he wanted to visit a museum. Again, he was unsure as to why he wanted to go there. Lately he only followed his instinct.

But then again he had escaped so he could do whatever he wanted, and going to a museum seemed like something they’d never expect him to do. So that’s what he did.

But of course, he didn’t know much about art or anything so he decided he’d end up at the MET. Where else would he start?

He had planned getting on the subway but he decided he didn’t have time to memorize it and he didn’t want to look like an idiot so instead he took another cab. He didn’t tell the drivers this time any poetic bullshit.

When he got to the MET, he was immediately lost. Tom had this stupid habit of never knowing where the hell he was.

He didn’t mind this time. He would take the time to explore, to think to himself. To stare and read and to learn a little.

How ironic it seemed to be at the place where so many people were at. Basic, maybe but he was still enjoying it.

The big walls and endless exhibitions were making him feel small. And he hadn’t felt that way in a while. He liked that.

His path wasn’t being decided and he only followed his heart. He got to the musical instruments exhibitions.

A piano made him stop. It resonated with him. In some sorts, or it was interesting enough for him to make him stop.

“That’s the oldest surviving piano,” a voice mentioned from behind.

Tom blinked, realizing he had stared too long at it. “Oh?” He looked back at the voice and though Tom did not believe in coincidences he couldn’t help but think this was an oddly magical one.

The beer cap girl from the night before.

“Yeah, it dates back to 1538 and was created by—pardon my pronunciation—Bartolomeo Cristofori, the Italian man who is credited with inventing the piano,” she said, staring at it too. Her hair was slightly messed up. Wearing an overall that was covered with slight paint stains, a white cardigan over it.

“Oh, I would’ve never thought that,” Tom said. “It looks old.”

“Yeah,” she hadn’t looked at him, she was too entranced by it, her arms were crossed. “It's very old.”

Tom stared at her instead, how weird it was. He should’ve brought the scarf. No, that would’ve been weird, weirder than taking it.

“So you work here?” Tom questioned.

“No, I’m just incredibly good at lying,” she stated.

“Wha-what?”

“That fact I gave you, yeah that was a lie,” she grinned and finally turned to him. She tilted her head.

“Oh it sounded… very real,” Tom felt like an idiot.

“Yeah, I’ve worked on that for a while, lying to tourists, you’re my first one of the day,” she said. “So, a pleasure lying to someone with an accent.”

“It sounded very real,” Tom cleared his throat.

“I know, it’s a real fact, just slightly twisted,” she grinned. “I gave you the date wrong.”

Tom coughed. “Oh.”

“Yeah, and you straight up believed me,” she grinned. “The date is right there yet you listened to a random weirdo,” she grinned.

Tom blushed, “well, you sounded very—“

“No, don’t feel bad, it’s an art, lying to people,” she grinned.

He nodded in agreement.

She watched him curiously, “Do I know you?”

Tom faked to not recognize her. “I don’t think so.”

She narrowed her eyes, examining him head to toe. Then stopping at his face. “No, wait, were you at Bennie’s Beer Garden last night?”

She had recognized him.

“Uh—I was at a bar,” he decided to fake ignorance. “Oh—“he snapped his finger. “Wait are you—?”

“Beer cap girl, yeah,” she smiled. “Yeah, that was me, but I looked better last night.”

Tom smiled, “No, you look fine.”

“What a coincidence, thanks for the beer caps, by the way,” she chuckled. “How weird, and now you’re the first one I lie to.”

“It’s a pleasure, thank you,” Tom laughed.

“You must think I’m crazy, collecting beer caps and lying to strangers,” she blushed now, stepping back from him.

Tom did think that. In a good way. The girl seemed to be whatever he wanted to be: a fucking weirdo that don’t give two shits about anything in life.

“Surprisingly, no,” Tom shook his head. “I would lie to people instead if I was good at lying.”

Ironic, it seemed. Didn’t he make a living out of lying? Didn’t he technically lie his way through life?

“Yes, it's very tiring work, people say they don’t like being lied to,” she said. “I do, that’s why I love reading whatever is trending on twitter.”

Tom cackled, and turned his attention back to the piano.

“I’m y/n, by the way,” she mentioned casually.

“Tom,” he answered simply.

Y/N nodded. “So, Tom, what's your favorite lie supplier?”

“I watch movies,” he said, “or celebrity gossip.”

“A classic,” Y/N grinned. “Yeah, we all choose the lies we want to believe, I guess.”

“People like that, believing lies and feeling like they’re true,” Tom gave in. “Especially if they’re pretty. They help us escape reality.”

Y/N nodded slowly, and smirked. “We are getting deep now, huh?”

What the fuck did New York do to Tom that he randomly said poetic bullshit to strangers. He was embarrassed. “I—sorry.”

“No, no, I like that,” y/n was excited. “I guess you’re right. Lies are a way to cover something.”

“Yes, sometimes lying means protecting,” Tom bit his lip.

Y/N tilted her head. “Is it really?” She didn’t want to agree. “I would say lying is a way to actively hurt someone.”

“Well, were you trying to hurt me with your lie?” Tom challenged.

She licked her lips, defeated. “In a way,” she gave in. “I was trying to misinform you. So.”

“Well, what if the truth hurts more?” Tom questioned.

Y/N took a deep breath. “Then it’s a paradox.”

“Excuse me,” Someone interrupted them. “I’m sorry, y/n? I thought you weren’t coming today.”

Y/N smiled, “oh yeah, I wasn’t, I just forgot something in my locker and decided to walk around.”

The other guy turned to Tom. “Did she give you a fake fact?”

Tom chuckled, “she most certainly did.”

“Y/N, you can’t keep doing that,” the guy warned her. “You’re gonna get fired.”

Y/N grinned as she watched the guy go.

“I thought you didn’t work here,” Tom chuckled.

Y/N smiled mischievously, “I do, just another lie I said to you. You’re very lucky, two lies in one.”

Tom chuckled. “huh. Yeah, lucky me.”

“Yes, now if you’ll excuse me, little British man,” she grinned. “I’ll go lie to other people, nice lying to you.”

Tom grinned. “Yeah, yeah, nice… believing your lies.”

“Enjoy the Met,” she grinned. “Hope I get to see you again, thanks for the beer caps.”

“Thanks for the… lies,” he said, watching her leave. Maybe he was lucky.

fic masterlist previous chapter next chapter

want to be tagged?(please say it’s for red)

tag list and some friends: @noorrussell @nocturnalms @xxconfettiitsaparade @annathesillyfriend @butterflies-glitter @tomkindholland @the-salty-asian @words-to-accomplish-something @harryhollandsgirlfriend @bibliophilewednesday @tomhollandsbitch8 @boiolay @wizkiddx @spideyssunshine @parkertommy @erodasghosts @onewithnomightypowers @sunflowersandaydreams @tomshufflepuff @uglypastels @lilacsandwhiskey @badhollandfluff @saintlavrents @enilemes @white-wolf1940 @mannien @softholand @youcompletemesk @ughdangs@obiwanownsmyass @sleepingdancer @lonely-sag @n-pg-pw @readheadwriter @parkersroses @petesrparker @watermelonsponge @cherrygoldenn @a-daydreamers-day @marlenetough @mcu-spiderman

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

oh beloved writer can you please write a christmas date imagine for will poulter (even though it’s still summer) just pure fluff, where the reader and will go out to like a diner and then go buy a tree for their apartment (it’s their first christmas living together) and set it up and dance to christmas music and it’s super domestic and soft and fluffy thank you bff

Of course, my love! And hey, if Christmas in July can be a thing, so can Christmas in August. And oh boy, I made this one so sweet you might get cavities, so just, beware of that.

~~~~~~~~~~

You were excited, to put it lightly. This was the first Christmas you and you partner, Will, would be having while living together. You knew it was cheesy, but you wanted it to feel special.

You made reservations at this really fancy restaurant in the fanciest part of town. A bit over the top on your part, but you wanted to make this Christmas one to remember fondly.

You still haven't gotten a tree yet, so that was on your to-do list as well. You hoped there would be some nice trees to choose from.

Some people would've probably thought you were going mad with how much you wanted everything to be perfect, and yeah, you kind of were. But you completely ignored your logic and reasoning.

You bought a really nice outfit for yourself to wear to the restaurant, Christmassy but not too Christmassy, you weren't wearing reindeer antlers or red and green bells. It was simple, may or may not to somewhat match Will's outfit that he was going to wear.

With Will's hand in yours, you walked to your car and headed to the restaurant and got there a few minutes early, which was historical for you. You smiled along with Will as you entered the warm building, a pleasant contrast from the winter cold outside. "Hi! Reservation for L/n?" You asked bubbly, the evening already going so well that you were sure nothing could dampen your spirits.

It took a minute for the hostess to check, as the place was fairly busy due to the holidays. "Um, I'm sorry, I don't see your name here."

You immediately tensed, a half a second of anger bolting through you before you simply smiled understandingly. "Can you double check, please? I'm certain it's there, I called this in a week ago." You chuckled nervously.

"I'm sorry, but there is no reservation under L/n."

Your smiled dropped, your eye involuntarily twitching a couple times before your cleared your throat. "That...that can't be right."

Will turned to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. It happens. We can just go somewhere else." He smiled softly. You frowned in response, turning back to the hostess with pleading eyes, only to get a tight lipped smile as another apology.

You hung your head for a second, before walking out of the building at a quick pace, dead silent as you sat back in your car. Will cautiously got into the car, anxiously anticipating your eventual release of your frustration.

"What the fuck?!" You yelled into your steering wheel, causing Will to jump at the sudden outburst, even when he was expecting it. "I booked that table a week ago! Will, you were right next to me when I called the place!" You pleaded to no one, feeling defeated and pissed off. "Ugh..." You drawled out, collapsing against your seat.

Will couldn't help but chuckle at your cute pouting face, reaching over to gently massage your thigh. "It's okay, darling! This is just a minor setback. I'm sure there are other places we can go."

Yes, there were other places you could go, none of them fancy restaurants. You felt even more defeated when you had to settle for some fast food place. This is absolutely not how you wanted this evening to go.

You stared down at your burger and fries with distain. "This should be an overpriced steak at an overpriced fancy restaurant with live music, arrogant chefs and overly nice waiters who wear really fancy suits and ties." You mumbled.

Will raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound quite as nice as being in an almost empty fast food place with no one to bother us. And I quite like my food, I haven't found a single hair in it, so it's practically 5-star."

You rolled your eyes as you chuckled at his silliness. "At least we still get to pick out a Christmas tree, that should be fun."

"Hopefully we won't get hypothermia out in this weather. So, what type of tree are you thinking we get?"

You smiled dreamily. "I've always wanted a full, thick Frasier fir."

"Ambitious. A Frasier fir it is."

It might've been a bit too ambitious, because when you got to one of the only places in town that sold Christmas trees, there were no such trees in sight. They had all been sold out apparently. No worry, there would probably be one at another place. Nope, none there. So, you drove to the last place in town and lo and behold, no thick firs in sight.

"I think the world's against me."

Will trapped you in a hug from behind as you stood dumbfounded at the selection of trees available. Some of them could give Charlie Brown's Christmas tree a run for its money.

"What about that one?" Will pointed towards the corner of the small field you two stood in.

You laughed when you finally saw what he was looking at. The tree was a fir, but it looked so bare that you could call it a Charlie Brown tree. "You can't be serious."

"I'm deadly serious." He smirked, letting you go to jog eagerly to the pitiful looking tree. You chuckled sadly as he held onto it, the thing wasn't even as tall as Will, and even skinnier. "Ain't it a beauty?" He said in a slightly Australian accent, almost cringing at himself.

No.

"I guess."

The look of pure childlike joy on Will's face, you couldn't deny him that stupid tree. It was so small, you could probably fit it in your car, but you didn't want to clean up all the needles it would shed. It fastened to the roof of your car easily, too easily.

By the time you had set it up in your living room with Will, the tree kind of grew on you; it was like an ugly dog, so ugly it was cute, you supposed. Once it had all the decorations on, it didn't look too bad, but it still wasn't what you hoped for. It seemed this whole day you planned out to the T, nothing went the way you wanted it to, and that was a bit disheartening. What annoyed you, surprisingly, was Will's overwhelming optimism. Usually, it was endearing, but today was not one of those days where you needed optimism.

"You okay, Y/n?" Will asked intuitively.

"It's just...this day went to shit. How can you be so...perfect?"

Will blushed at your phrasing, but he knew what you meant. "I was annoyed with certain things today, the restaurant issues, for sure. But, it wasn't enough to put me in a bad mood all day. I chose to let it go so that we could have a good time, that's all."

You frowned, suddenly feeling really guilty. "I was in such a bad mood all day." You huffed, taking a seat on your couch. "I ruined this whole day..."

"No!" Will rushed over to you. "I didn't mean it like that, I-"

"I know, but you're right. I shouldn't have acted like such a child. I'm sorry."

Will smiled sadly. "Darling, you certainly did not ruin anything. None of this was your fault and you behaved how any normal person would. But even after all that happened, I still had an amazing time. We had a nice, quiet dinner. And we got our own little Charlie Brown tree." He chuckled. "Didn't you have a nice time too?"

You smiled sheepishly. "I did."

"We don't have to go to the fanciest restaurant or buy the nicest Christmas tree to have a nice time together. We could've stayed inside all day and I wouldn't have cared, just being here with you is what makes me the happiest."

You couldn't help but lean forwards to kiss him, so incredibly grateful that he was in your life. "Well, I'd say our first Christmas will be one to remember."

"Oh, it's not over yet." He added, causing you to furrow your brows in curiosity. He only winked as he walked to the other side of the room, fiddling with the record player.

"No..." You groaned playfully as Last Christmas by Wham! echoed through your apartment.

Will nodded, a cheeky smile playing on his lips. "Oh yeah, come on." He held out his hand to you, motioning for you to take it. You giggled as he started to lip sync the lyrics, shimmying his shoulders as he still waiting for you to take his hand.

"Oh my god." You blushed, finally taking his hand and him instantly pulling you up and grabbing you by the waist to pull you into a hug, violently swaying to the music. "Will!" You laughed uncontrollably.

"What? You don't like my dance moves?" He grinned.

"You're gonna break me if you keep doing that." You grinned back.

Will shook his head, toning down the fast swaying and settled into a relaxing sway, looking into your eyes fondly. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

You blushed, resting your head and hiding your face on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat much better music than any Christmas song you've ever listened to.

~~~~~~~~~~

bruh...this...was so fluffy I almost died. I hope me almost dying of fluffiness was worth it to you, @poulterfilms

[writeforfandoms]

A Reason to Fight

Okay, here we go! This happened because I listened to a song and had Feels and decided I needed to inflict them share them with y’all. The song is called A Reason to Fight by Disturbed. Highly recommend you listen to it at least once before/while you read. 

This is a Frankie Morales x gn!reader fic.

Warnings: Some swearing. Allusions to past drug use and other unspecified issues that I might touch on later, but that would be its own fic. 

Also, the playlist that’s talked about in here is in fact one of my playlists. I love it. If anyone wants the whole playlist, let me know, I can link it on Spotify. At least I think I can. 

Masterlist just because

The door opened quietly and then clocked shut a few moments later. You smiled down at the stove. Your boyfriend was finally home. 

"Babe?" Frankie called.

"Kitchen," you called back. He would have found you anyway, since you still had your music going. 

Frankie grinned when he spotted you and still managed to sneak up on you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he placed a gentle kiss against the curve of your jaw. "Hi."

"Hi," you greeted in return, unable to stop yourself from smiling. "How was work?" One hand left the pot to rest over both of his where they overlapped on your tummy, the other still stirring the stew you were cooking up for dinner. 

"It was work," he said, and you could feel him shrug against your back. "Not bad today." 

"Good." You turned your head to smile at him, and he took the opportunity to kiss you gently. 

"How was your day off?" He asked, pulling back just enough to speak. He pressed his forehead to yours, unwilling to move yet.

"Quiet," you answered honestly. "Got some chores done, some housework. Did a bit of reading. Decided to make bread." 

"Now you're spoiling me," Frankie teased, though he was grinning.

"You deserve it," you told him, nudging his nose with your own. 

Frankie ducked his head down to hide in the crook of your neck, which you allowed. This was something you were both still working on - accepting good things in life. 

You hadn't met Frankie until after the fiasco in South America. He'd told you the story eventually. The short version of it, at least. You didn't need all the details to see how traumatic it had been for him. Fortunately for both of you, therapy was a great thing, and something Frankie had put a lot of effort into. 

"Which playlist is this?" He asked, voice muffled by your shoulder. "I don't recognize this song order."

You snorted quietly. "Bold of you to assume you recognize any of my playlists," you teased, focusing once more on the stew. "This is my get your shit together playlist." 

Frankie grunted his acknowledgement of that and then grumbled wordlessly when you twisted to grab a ladle. He moved with you instead of doing the sensible thing and letting go. 

You huffed in amusement at him and then settled, not making him move as you worked on dinner. You hummed quietly with the song currently playing, feeling Frankie slowly relax and lean into you. 

The oven beeped a one minute warning at you and patted Frankie's hands. "Darling, you need to let go so I can get the bread out without burning either of us," you told him, amused. 

Frankie grumbled and placed one last kiss to the side of your neck before he released you, moving to the other side of the kitchen. He leaned back against the counter, watching.

You grinned and grabbed oven mitts, opening the oven door and carefully removing the bread. After setting it on the oven (on an unused burner) you turned to smile at Frankie.

But he was distracted, gaze set on your wireless speaker, and it took you a few moments to realize why. He was listening to the song. For a moment you debated switching to something else, and then dismissed it. He should hear this.

You sang quietly when the chorus came on again. “When the demon that’s inside you is ready to begin, and it feels like it’s a battle that you will never win, when you’re aching for your fire and begging for your sin, when there’s nothing left inside I’ll be your reason to fight.” 

"Babe--" Frankie started, a little choked.

"Hush. You should hear this." You stepped into his space, one arm firm around his waist while your other hand ran into his hair to rub soothingly at his scalp. He tucked his head down against your shoulder, breathing a little fast. 

You didn't sing with the rest of the song, instead just humming your way through it. Your fingers never left Frankie's hair, providing comfort.

The kitchen went quiet after the song ended, since that was the last song on the playlist. You turned your head to press a kiss to his unruly curls.

"I know it can be hard to hear," you murmured to him. "Still makes me cry sometimes. But it's a good reminder, too." 

Frankie sighed against your skin, long and a little shaky. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." You smiled a little to yourself. "There have been more days than you know when I get out of bed because of you. At the risk of sounding completely cheesy… you're my reason to fight, darling." You rested your temple against his head, the hand not in his hair starting to rub up and down his back, slow and firm. 

Frankie managed a choked bark of laughter at that, both of his arms winding around your waist to pull you impossibly closer. "I don't… you know I haven't…" he started, slow and uncertain.

"I know," you assured him, scratching lightly at his scalp. "I know, sweetheart. It's fucking hard, I know."

Another shuddery sigh against your collarbone made you shiver. "You're my reason," he muttered into your skin, barely comprehensible. "One of them, anyway." 

You smiled and pressed another kiss to his head. "Feeling better?" 

"Caught me off guard, s'all." He sounded almost petulant now. He was definitely feeling better, then. 

"Yeah, I probably should have warned you, I just didn't think about it." You smiled, a little sad. 

"Mm." Frankie squeezed your hips gently before pulling back enough to instead nuzzle his nose against yours. "Play it again?" 

You smiled and fumbled with your phone to replay the song. Frankie didn't move to make it any easier, making you snicker. This time when the song started, Frankie took a deep breath, pressed his forehead to yours, and listened.

[syinisuga]

Begin Again [MinYoongi]

Pairing : Yoongi x Reader

Word count : 5.2K

Genre : Fluff and Angst

Description : Friends to lovers, Long Distance relationship, Lovers to (?)

Summary : when you thought the friendship you once had with him died away after one silly mistake, and you thought you would never have again what you lost;

But it blossoms back unexpectedly stronger and is slowly growing to be something more beautiful than you ever had

"I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn, and end;

But on a Wednesday in a cafe i watched it Begin Again"

--------------------✨📖✨---------------------

It was the start of a new year and you weren't particularly happy about being moved up a few classes into an entirely new class with relatively new students you haven't personally met yet. You were still grateful for your good results in the past year to have you land in such a good class. In all honesty though, you did miss your friends from your old class, all of them being scattered in the back classes however changed your mind about being thankful that you're at least in a better one. The first few days of getting used to the classes went by rather slowly as you were listening to the introductions of the other students and teachers half mindedly, till around your 4th day into the classes that is.

You were randomly seated in the Chemistry lab by the teacher as she familiarised herself with the rest of the class. Not paying much attention you were spacing out, resting your chin on your palm, tapping away at your cheek.

" Um, hey there"

The voice from the stool next to you spoke. You turned your head to the direction of the voice, being met with warm brown eyes looking right at you. He had soft black hair, eyes slightly puffy as if he hadn't slept well the night before, lips curled up in a slight smile as he looked at you.

"Oh, hello"

you answered, trying not to sound overly shocked at the first human interaction you've had in this new class.

"I'm yoongi, what's your name?"

"I'm y/n, nice to meet you Yoongi"

"So what are your interests? What do you like to do y/n? Any hobbies?"

It definitely took you by surprise when this boy you've never really met before was suddenly making an interest to get to know you more. Something about him felt raw and not shy but in a good way.

"Well i really love listening to music and i do indulge in art as well. Spend most of my time listening to songs while drawing. Draw the mood of the song you know?"

"Damn, haha you sound kinda like me. Not tryna be cheesy or anything but i love listening to music too, I'm shit at drawing tho, i can barely draw a stickman"

Both of you exchanged a little chuckle at his open confession about himself. And even though it had only been a few minutes of words between the two of you, you felt at that moment that he wasn't like the other boys who popped up to talk to you first. This one genuinely seemed interested in you just to make a new friend.

-----------------------🤝------------------------

"Yo y/n you wanna ditch PE and hang out in the library? The new Resident Evil movie came out we can watch"

"You know what, yeah let's yeet"

You don't know how it went from spending lunch times together, to skipping the most boring subjects to hang out and hide. It'd been a few months since you started your new friendship with Yoongi, and by now you were known as the inseparable duo, funny enough both of you became the class representatives. Somehow you two got closer and closer each day, the more you talked the more you felt like you've known each other for years, yet some part of you knew that there was more to Yoongi than he was showing to you.

On a particularly slow day at your classes, you and Yoongi had pre planned to sneak out to hang out at your usual spot in the library. Sitting at the back of the library the both of you laughed at a joke Yoongi made about how almost the whole school shipped the both of you.

"You know y/n, I envy you"

"Oh well, I know I'm fabulous" you playfully said as you flipped your hair back, earning a little grunt and a harmless eye roll from Yoongi.

"It's not that you loonatic, i envy you...cause you have such a nice relationship with your family"

His sudden statement caught you slightly off guard but you gave him a look, clearly eager to know the reason behind his words. Flashing half a smile towards you he starts his story.

"Growing up for me was, well, it was an experience. I grew up under the care of foster parents who constantly reminded me that my parents gave me away cause i was a burden, all my life that's what i was told. Never had a father figure or mother figure to help shape my emotions? Guess that's why I don't show it if I'm sad or depressed, which is actually most of the time"

he looks down at his hands and chuckles softly.

"But you know something y/n? Being with you makes me feel like I could be myself, like I don't have to be afraid of being judged. And that's why I wanted you to know the truth but i understand if you don't wanna get involved or-"

You cut him off by placing your hand on his, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Yoongi, i want you to know that I'll always be here for you and you can talk to me about this anytime okay? You're my best friend now! And I'm hoping I'm yours too?" You ask in a more playful tone making yoongi giggle.

"Of course you are"

"Good! Cause i come in a package deal of crackhead and supportive as well as a no return contract"

"Sounds perfect to me bestie"

-----------------------😚------------------------

Over 2 years had passed and the whole highschool down to the teachers were sure the two of you were in a relationship, as everyone saw the two of you being practically stuck together almost all the time. Yoongi and your friendship became stronger than ever since that day he decided to open up to you. It became a regular thing where you'd confide in each other for emotional comfort as well as motivation and support. Not missing the fact that your level of crackhead together had become an all time high.

Your finals and exams blasted through and you had spent all your study weeks with Yoongi in the library. As sketchy as it was you and your best friend actually did sincere studying. And as it would, your hard work together paid off earning the both of you high marks in your finals. The two of you didn't miss to make a trademark crackhead scene at the receiving of the scroll ceremony when you accidentally tripped on your shoelace and Yoongi cracked up laughing and clapping before helping you up. The two of you celebrate with drinks and a lot of food that night and Yoongi paid for everything to make it up to you for laughing when you fell.

You looked at yourself one last time in the mirror before heading out to your highschool's hall. It was your graduation party but more importantly to you it was Yoongi's birthday. Coincidentally the two events had fallen on the same day, and what better opportunity than to get dressed up to party at your graduation ceremony together. It had been a heck of a ride these last two years, and you were going to make sure this last school event would be memorable.

Upon arriving you scan around the hall of students in search of the familiar face.

"Looking for me?"

He makes his presence behind you known by clearing his throat. You turn around to give your usual playful comment back but the words were caught in your throat as your gaze landed on your best friend. He was dressed smart, in a suit that looked like it was custom made to fit him, his hair in a side part and bangs neatly framing his face. You were so used to seeing him in his casual hoodies and ripped jeans that seeing him in formal wear made you choke on your words.

Too focused on getting your senses back in check, you don't notice how Yoongi's train of thought was stopped dead in its tracks as he watched you turn around to face him. He never pictured his crackhead of a best friend in something other than t-shirts and track pants. Seeing you in a dress that hugged your figure in all the right places and taking in the sight of you, with your makeup and hair all done to suit the dress you were wearing nearly made him pass out from how he was holding his breath to admire you.

Clearing the silence between the two of you, Yoongi speaks up first.

"Well well, you don't completely look like the satanic spawn of hot cheetos and depression today. You actually look pretty good"

Smirking a little smile you bite back at his comment.

"Well same to you too Mr. I'm a millennial emo teen. You actually look, presentable today"

The two of you exchanged a playful giggle and assumed your seats at your class tables as the ceremony went on.

You don't see the small glances Yoongi takes in your direction, the thoughts gushing through his mind about how you looked at the moment and cursing himself for not realising your features sooner. He admired the way you had chosen to dress up today, seeing the way you had styled your hair so your curls would frame your face, the way you had done your makeup in a more natural looking way that he thought suited you perfectly. Yoongi didn't remember when the unlabeled feelings for you came but the longer he looked at you the more he was starting to put a name to the feelings he had. So much so that he had completely spaced out in his thoughts of you like that he didn't realise you were speaking to him.

" -don't you think so Yoongi?"

"I'm sorry what did you say? The umm, the music is so loud"

"I saaaaiiddd it's beginning to get a little dull at this graduation ceremony, we need a little surprise, don't you think?"

"Surprise?? What kind of surprise?"

Flashing a smile his way you get up and walk towards the front of the hall where the ceremony host was finishing up their ending speech. Whispering into the host's ear, he gives you the microphone and you confidently stride to the front. But you accidentally go too close to the speaker and it lets out an unpleasant squee, making you move back and away a little. You look up and around finding your best friend's eyes looking back at you giggling at the scene that just occured.

"Well that's one way to get everyone's attention" you chuckle earning muffled chuckles and words from the hall.

"So firstly congrats to everyone on graduating y'all did it. But that's not why I'm up here right now. Today is a special day for someone, and since it's the last day we'll all be gathering I wanted to make this memorable for him. So everyone I would like to wish out here, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIN YOONGI"

you started to sing happy birthday and the rest of the hall joined in singing with you.

In all this happening, Yoongi could only focus on you, the way you just boldly got up to sing out loud and wish him Happy Birthday in the most "you" way possible. So he didn't know if it was the moment or if it was his unlabeled feelings overflowing for you, that he got up and walked towards you as the song was ending. He couldn't tell what came over him at that moment but he knew for sure he wasn't going to stop what he was about to do next. Cupping your cheeks in his palms, he leaned in, pressing his soft lips to yours. Kissing you with deep feelings overtaking his mind. The moment his lips touched yours he knew what those unlabeled feelings were, it was Love.

You couldn't process fast enough that your best friend was striding towards you with a goal, a desire. And you surely didn't expect for him to suddenly kiss you. Registering the feeling of his lips on yours, your eyes closed on their own as if on automatic response. You sank into the feeling of his lips, and it was then you felt the spark that ignited your own unlabeled feelings for Yoongi. You had definitely asked yourself countless times before if what you were feeling for Yoongi was more than just friendship. On the countless nights he had cried on your shoulder or when you cried on his, on the many occasions where you were both always partners in crime, you would always glance at Yoongi and wonder what more could there be to the feelings between you.

As the both of you slowly pulled away from each other a roaring sound of cheers erupted as it seemed to be that the two of you were the last ones to know you two were actually in love with each other. Taking your hand in his, Yoongi and you ran out of the hall that night knowing well where the two of you stood from that moment on.

-----------------------❤️------------------------

"No babe I think you should definitely take the opportunity to study there, I know it's far but it'll be really good for you, plus it's something you really like! It'll take some time for you to get used to the new place but i know you'll fit right in. In fact i know your wack ass would stand out"

You giggled at his comment but you wholeheartedly took his motivation and advice. But the question and thoughts still lingered in your mind as you heard Yoongi chuckle on the other end of the phone.

"But Yoongi, this means we'd be in a long distance relationship, with you going off to study in the opposite direction and all. Even our breaks don't match Yoongi.. what'll we do" the worrying tone in your voice didn't go unnoticed by Yoongi as he answered you in a calm reassuring tone.

"It'll take some work, but i know we can get through this okay? We'll make it, we can make it. I love you" you smiled at Yoongi's voice uttering the sweet words of love as you felt yourself calm your thoughts.

"I love you too Yoongi. Well then, keep me company while i pack?"

"You bet"

It had been a few months since you started dating, and honestly it didn't feel any different from when the two of you were in your phase of friendship, everything was going relatively smooth apart from the little fights and misunderstandings you had now that you were a couple. Sometimes you sit to think to yourself if moving into a relationship with Yoongi was the best choice, it would feel as though sometimes he would act differently and not like he always would but you just shake of the thoughts. You just figured with all these future college studies and intakes coming about that he was just as stressed as you were. You assured yourself that the two of you would be alright and that you'll always have each other.

A few more months pass and the two of you have already started your college lives. Yoongi being in a campus almost 8 hours away from you with minimal transport for him to even go home let alone plan to meet you. It was going smoothly, settling into orientation and getting to know the layouts of the campus well, meeting new friends and truly taking in your next step in education. You and Yoongi would exchange day to day text messages about how orientation and the first days of classes went.

All well and good till Yoongi's texts became slower and less frequent, he would always say that he's busy with his friends there, or straight up not giving a response at all. You became more and more fearful at how this long distance thing was going to work out for the two of you.

28th Tuesday

[12:27am] hey Yoongi! I hope you had a great day, I miss you and hope you sleep well, love you!

[08:40am] Hey Babe, good morning! I'm in class now, wishing we could skip like old times haha, hope you have a great day! Text me soon

[6:48pm] Hey i just got back to my dorm after classes, it was super fun! How was your day??

[8:11pm] Yoongi?? Are you okay? Are you busy babe?

[8:24pm] I miss youuuuuuuu :(

[10:16pm] Yoongi :(

You tossed your phone to the side of your bed as you felt your tears well up, why was he suddenly avoiding you? Is he okay?? Did he get hurt? Your thoughts were spiraling, getting messier till you heard the familiar ping from your phone. You scurried to your phone to see Yoongi's name pop up on the screen. Your smile quickly faded, replaced by disappointment at his reply.

[10:43pm] Hey, was busy with friends today, going to bed now ttyl <3

You frowned and wouldn't let him go this time. The days of short texts to unreplied texts and this is how he replies now? In a fit of fury you call him.

"Hello?-"

"Yoongi what's wrong? You haven't been replying to my texts as usual are you okay??"

"Mmh I'm fine, just busy with classes and my new friends y/n"

"Well I can't accept that answer Yoongi, I'm busy with classes and friend's here too but I take the time so why can't you?"

"Hey it's not that big of a deal y/n, we're in new environments now and it'll take me some time to settle in"

"Yoongi surely you have at least 5 minutes a day to text me??"

"Yeah of course I do, I just texted you didn't i?"

"That short ass reply was what you call a text Yoongi? It really sounds like you're avoiding me"

"You know what y/n I don't have time for this right now I'm tired"

"No Yoongi, I haven't talked to you properly in days come on don't you miss me Yoongi?"

"To be honest I've been enjoying the new company here that's I haven't missed you much"

"What do you mean Yoongi? You don't think of me?"

"Not all the time no, i have other things to think about here y/n i have new responsibilities here I can't be thinking about you all the damn time, just be happy I texted you back"

"Are you threatening to not text me anymore Yoongi? Is that what you're saying? You don't wanna talk to me anymore?"

"Oh god for fucks sake y/n stop being so clingy alright? Just grow up a little!"

The sound of his voice in heightened frustration made you choke on your words, you silenced yourself as his words rang loud in your head.

"You know what y/n I don't think this will work out, I'm going to get even busier and this will just be in the way of it all"

"Yoongi…"

"I'm sorry y/n but clearly this distance is proving that we won't work out"

"Are you... breaking up with me Yoongi?.."

The pain in your voice and the soft shaky exhale doesn't go unnoticed by Yoongi. Yoongi takes a deep breath, realising he spoke too fast in frustration. As much as he did feel for you this distance was tearing you apart and Yoongi didn't want to believe it but it was the truth. He spoke softer this time giving his side of his explanation.

"Y/n, you've been nothing but amazing to me, but I realize that we were more compatible as friends, I mean think about it, we've had so many petty fights that we never had before we dated. Our growing college life will further hinder our relationship. I don't want to hurt you like this by not giving you the love and attention you deserve. I'll always love you y/n, just not as more than friends I suppose"

You couldn't believe what was happening right now, your world felt like it was crashing down on you hard and fast, you could feel the sharp stinging in your chest from how your heart was breaking the more reality hit you. Yoongi's words had reason to them, but you were still in a state of confusion. Why could you make time for Yoongi but he couldn't for you? Maybe it's because the two of you are pursuing different fields of studies? Maybe he really had better things to do? Yoongi didn't want to hurt your feelings by making you feel abandoned so he was in fact abandoning you? No? But he said he'll still love you?? Your head was spinning a bunch of thoughts ran through your head.

"Okay Yoongi...if that's what would be the best for us..then okay"

"Don't worry okay? We'll still text as usual, talk when we can okay? I won't let you go, you're still my best friend y/n"

You didn't know if his words would be comforting enough, but at that moment you took what you had and calmed your thoughts for now.

"Okay Yoongi.."

"Good, I have an early schedule tomorrow. I'll talk to you later okay? I'm going to bed now. Goodnight y/n"

"Good night Yoongi"

-----------------------💔------------------------

As it will, Yoongi and you slowly drifted apart. You would often see his social media updates about how he was actively participating in clubs, and how he had taken up new responsibilities, going to camps and hosting events at his institute and he definitely seemed to be doing well. You on the other hand fell more and more at war with your emotions, it didn't hinder your studies. Thankfully you could keep those two apart. But whenever it got a little too quiet you'd think of him, the days in highschool when you were inseparable. You missed his laugh, his endearing way of calling you the most heinous nicknames. You definitely missed his comforting arms, his words of encouragement when you were down, you wished nothing more that in this moment you were crying to him instead of because of him.

You couldn't believe that you were sitting here, broken and feeling alone by the guy that made his way into your life, and had now made his way out in the most painful way possible. You were left there clueless and confused. Did he do it for you? Was it the right thing? Did he really think of you? Why was this happening? What would have happened if you didn't date? Would things be different? Would your best friend have stayed? All these questions playing through your mind, countless nights you spent crying yourself to sleep. Thinking of how you felt almost betrayed, you cursed at yourself for sending texts to him that were only left on read or replied with a simple "I'm busy, text you later".

Slowly days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months as you hadn't spoken much to Yoongi. You became stone hearted from all that had happened and slowly you got back into yourself. You were more and more active in your college life and you were growing to be better at controlling your emotions. Sure some little things remind you of him now and then, but it was much easier by now to brush his thoughts off. As sadly as your situation was you learned to move with it and not let it consume you. Every now and then you'd see Yoongi piston updates on his progressively active life and you'd feel happy for him, you wondered if he ever felt the same for you when he saw your updates on how well you were doing.

----------------------🍃-------------------------

It had been a total of 4 years since everything happened, you were on a roll and you had graduated college. You had a few job applications pending and you were more stable with your life by now. All the questions you once had were stored in a box collection dust in the far corner of your mind.

It was a relaxing Saturday evening, you were in your apartment lounging on your bed. As you were chatting away with your friends a familiar ping aroused from your phone. The name that popped up on the screen made your heart heavy and you breathing shallow, a true ghost from your past…

"Yoongi 🥀"

Your screen read. Taking a deep breath you opened the chat.

[9:57pm] Hey y/n it's been a long time… are you free tonight? Can I call you?

You didn't know what exactly to think right now. Every cell in your brain telling you not to. That you shouldn't give into him again, and that you should just talk to him over text no matter what it was. But your heart was screaming for him, the familiar feeling of longing for him returning in a massive tsunami, washing over your thoughts. You took a deep breath to centre your thoughts and decided you'd listen to him and talk to him again.

[9:59pm] Hey Yoongi, yeah I'm free to talk.

As soon as the message was read by him, your phone rang. You took one more deep breath and answered the call.

"Hello y/n, how are you?"

You cursed in your head at how much you missed his voice, the way he spoke to you at this moment had a hint of the same longing you had for him.

"Hey..Yoongi, I'm good. How are you?"

"I've been good too.. congratulations on graduating"

"Thanks Yoongi, congratulations on graduating too.."

"Thanks…"

The silence that fell had you both reflecting on everything that happened and how fast it all went by. The box of questions in your mind burst out once again whereas Yoongi on the other hand was feeling guilt and hate towards himself for everything that he put you through. Little did you know that these last few months Yoongi was hit with the hard realisation that he had lost not only his best friend but the person he cared about the most. His family certainly did not improve and the one person who was there for him when he needed it, he had left broken hearted and abruptly once he found a new escape. Yoongi was slowly flooded with memories of you as he neared his own college graduation. He remembered your highschool graduation and how he felt for you there in that moment of time. He spent a few nights crying at the realisation that he had thought of what's best for you but didn't think of how you felt and how he had left things between the two of you.

"Why Yoongi…."

Was all you managed to say out loud before your emotions caved in. Understanding what you were asking he answered.

"I was so caught up in the new environment of growing up and moving on that I did what I thought was the best to not hurt you...but I didn't think far enough that doing so will indeed hurt you.. and I wasn't there for you like i was supposed to. It took a hard hit to my head to realise that I was wrong y/n… you were always there for me and stupidly I made this mistake… I thought i was thinking of the best for both of us, when in fact i was thinking of myself.. I was selfish and I realised that…so many things reminded me of you y/n, the clouds, the sun, the sight of roses, the smell of hot cheetos.."

You giggled a little at his last comment earning a little muffled one from Yoongi.

"I understand if you hate me for what I did to you y/n… and I don't know if it'll ever be the same between us again.. but I'm willing to try to bring back what we had... if you're willing to give me a chance…"

You exhaled softly before letting out everything that you've been feeling.

"I don't hate you Yoongi, I never could and I never will. You're everything to me Yoongi and I was just really hurt by what you did and how you ended things. So many thoughts went through my head and I won't even talk about how much you made me cry….you dipshit" the playful cursing nickname made Yoongi chuckle a little, slowly making him feel reassured at the directions of the conversation.

"I'm willing to give us a chance Yoongi..and you're right, I don't expect it to be the same as what we had, I just hate that I lost my best friend.."

"I know..i understand that..and I'm sorry..for everything"

"It's okay Yoongi, I'm sorry too… maybe I should've been more understanding…"

"Hey… do you.. wanna hang out Tomorrow night?"

"You wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, i wanna see you and catch up with you"

"Sure Yoongi that'd be nice"

"Great!! I'll meet you at the café by our old highschool?"

"Sure Yoongi, sounds great"

"Right then, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow Yoongi"

You could hear the smiles in each other's voices as you both bid goodnight and hung up the phone. You didn't know what it was exactly but you knew just from that phone call that everything was going to be alright. You felt like you breathed much easier now, your mind much lighter. Yoongi felt the same, he was smiling more now filled with the excitement of meeting you again tomorrow after years.

-----------------------✨------------------------

You made sure to check yourself out in the mirror a few more times before heading towards the café. You had chosen to wear a simple yet stylish outfit, your hair tied back in a low loose ponytail, your short hairs framing your face. You were nervous yet excited to be reunited with your best friend again. And as you approach the café, there he was. Standing outside the door of the café waiting for you. The now slightly more mature looking, dark fluffy haired man, wearing a long black coat was looking just as nervous and excited as he was looking down at his feet.

"I didn't know you needed glasses to see now"

your voice made him turn his head fast in your direction. The moment his gaze landed on you, it felt like highschool all over again. The way you looked standing there, just centimetres away from him. He took in your slightly matured face yet he told himself that you hadn't changed one bit.

"It's official, you're old Yoongi"

He chuckled and playfully scoffed at your comment.

"Well at least i don't dress like the satanic spawn of depression and hot cheetos"

"Sure thing Mr. I'm still a millennial emo teen"

The two of you laughed, and the world seemed to slow down. The feeling that nothing ever really changed between the two of you was knowing, however this time something felt entirely different. Both of you could feel it for sure. It was the feeling of a bond stronger than both friendship and love. You didn't know what the feeling was exactly, all that you knew was that you're never losing each other again. All this while you've been sitting there watching the feelings you had burn and crash in the worst way possible, but today right here at this café, right in front of your eyes you watched everything Begin Again.

[honesthammie]

Te amo

I am working on a few of the other prompts and a part 2 to prompt 4 the soulmate au I just recently got another puppy and I still have uni work to do so I'm a bit behind schedule with these and I'm so sorry. Hopefully this little kinda songfic makes up for it.

13th doctor x female reader

Warnings: swearing as usual, fluffy, sad thoughts, twist the original songs meaning, long as fuck.

Probably terrible as its my first songfic

I don't know much Spanish so some of the examples later on are Google translated and I know it can be wrong so I do apologise for any mistranslations

This is based off Rhiannas song Te Amo but I'm switching it up a little. I dont why 13th doctor came into my head when I was listening to it but it gave me this lil oneshot idea so enjoy! The picture is not mine but the rainbow effect added is done by me! Same for the picture later on.

I've been travelling with this amazing alien for a whole year now. The adventures are always amazing if she's there! The others sometimes complain and say its boring, especially on a junk planet but to see her face light up with excitement makes my day and it well worth the dirt we cover ourselves on by the time we are done. And when she finds something that she thought was useful and it turns out, it's not her scrunch is amazing.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in love with this alien. I know, weird, a human and an alien together? But I can't help it! I'm completely besotted with her. If she even looks in my direction, my legs go to jelly and I get butterflies. I know, cheesy. But thats exactly how I feel around her. I barely want to touch her because I nearly fainted the last few times. And I fear she may pick up on how I'm distancing myself from her. I don't want to break her heart and leave, the thought of her look kills me as is so I'm trying to get her to kick me off.

It doesn't seem to be working though. I've been distancing myself since I found out about how I feel, which is now 6 months ago and she's trying to get me to be as close as I was with her.

I'll tell her. On one of our amazing adventures but I can't do it straight forward, it's making me sick with anxiety just thinking about it. I'll fancy it up, make her work it out. Whenever we are next to each other and the moment is right, I'll tell her in another language!

I finally get out of bed after I finished writing in my diary. I slip some comfy clothes on and head out to the TARDIS library and hope no one is there, especially her. I'll be distracted and right now, I need to concentrate. I wonder the warm halls, grateful that the TARDIS had considered my preferences. I think the TARDIS likes me more than the others because I talk to her and show her gratefulness for taking us somewhere amazing and I chat to her regularly and I try to involve her in my conversations. The others find it weird, except for the Doctor, she just smiles and joins in with me. Im still learning how to translate her but I think I've sort of got it.

I reach my hand forward and grab the aged bronze doorknob and open to the giant room. There were so many floors that an elevator had to be used to access some of them as the Doctor said "walking would literally take weeks to reach some floors". Thankfully the TARDIS organises them to make them easier to find. I looked forward and saw an interactive map in front of me. My hands touched the screen and many subjects and categories came up. Anything ranging from kiddie tales to straight up smut, I have a feeling either River or Missy are to blame for that addition.

I've never met them but the TARDIS showed me videos from her database and brought books to my attention about them. They both seem very dirty minded people so I'm not surprised those are there. I wonder if the Doctor has ever stumbled upon this section or is it for none Doctor eyes only? If she does know about them, has she ever read one? No, don't go there you stupid brain! She probably doesn't know!

I quickly stop that train of thought and catch my breath. I've never thought about those kinds of things about anyone before. Stupid Timelord, making me go all weird and think dirty things. Now my face is all red, I really hope I'm alone in here. I quickly focus back to the task at hand, finding a new language to learn. The TARDIS seemed to know where to go and blue arrows appeared, guiding me to the right section in what could be a maze.

As I walking, I felt excitement rise within me. What if she felt the same way? What if she was impressed by how far I wanted to go just to say those 3 words? Would her hazel honey eyes sparkle with delight? Would she scronch her nose in amazement?

Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the language learning section and there were many alien languages but the TARDIS seemed to have a better idea of what would be perfect for me as a white hardback book fell off the 4th shelf onto the wooden floor. I picked it up and noticed how smooth the cover was and how old yet unused it looked. The white was a little off, almost a dull cream from ageing which made the gold writing harder to read. The title was simple:

Spanish basics and need to knows.

I did always find Spanish in school fun to learn, more than French or German anyway and I don't wanna stereotype this into a typical French is the language of romance. I never really found it romantic sounding compared to Spanish.

I picked up the book and quickly flicked through to the right page and took a note on my phone as to what the translation was and put the worn book away. I quietly thanked the TARDIS and rushed out of the library and back into my room where I could practice without getting caught.

A few weeks have passed since I picked up the new words and practiced them until I was confident and had the TARDIS' approval that I was saying it right. Today the Doctor wanted to take us to this party in the 18th century and we all decided to dress for the part once we landed.

Yaz was wearing a beautiful black and red ballroom gown, accented with little bows around the bottom and lace cuffs. She had her black hair curled into a ponytail. It was simple and cute, much like her style normally. Graham and Ryan wore similar suits but Graham wore green accents and Ryan wore yellow accents.

I let the TARDIS pick my dress. She picked a black and dark blue ballroom gown with blue roses on the bottom. It had black lace underneath and blue lace as the cuffs. The gown also seemed to glitter slightly in the light making me sparkle very subtly. I put my comfy boots on as you couldn't see my shoes as I walked anyway so why did it matter? With all the running we do, I'm not risking my ankles with heels, thank you very much. I had my (h/c) hair in (fave style). It suited my dress perfectly.

I nearly choked on oxygen when I saw how hot the Doctor looked in her suit. It took me a few moments to realise we match. We both blushed at the realisation. Of course the TARDIS makes us match! No wonder why she was more than eager to help me pick an outfit! Stupid sentient ship, shipping us already!

I quickly cleared my throat and complimented everyone on how amazing they looked but I just couldn't take my eyes off the Doctor for long. She was like a magnet for my eyes. Someone help before she realises!

"Don't we all look brilliant? Perfect for the party! 18th century Yorkshire to be exact! What a great century for you guys. Now then, this party is for Nobles and higher, as per usual in these times. Ryan, I suggest you keep in mind about any racist comments that may come out. But as long as you say your Graham's personal butler, you should be welcomed with little resistance. And Yaz, I want you to be (y/n)'s personal maid. That does mean you'll have to follow your so called "masters" around and do anything they ask unfortunately and Graham, (y/n), please act like the others around you and use them. Unfortunately this is the only way all 5 of us can join the party. You'll be fine as long as you bite your tongues. Now the Noble Edward Collins is the host so be sure to thank him for inviting you, even though you technically weren't. And try not to get too drunk, I know what you humans are like! Now follow me." The Doctor explained. I was going to tell the Doctor today, but I guess, I'll have to wait.

The Doctor opened the doors and we were in a cupboard under some gorgeous marble stairs. As we walked towards the party I noticed some family portraits along the walls. They were a very beautiful looking family. The mother had long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. The father was buff, long brown hair and daring brown eyes. There were two children, a girl and a boy. The girl had long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, whilst the son had blonde hair and brown eyes. They also had a brown greyhound dog laying by the sons feet. The son must be the host, Edward. He looked not much older than 10 in the last painting but the daughter was no where to be found in the portrait and theu all looked mournful. Is she dead and is that the picture capturing the moment of grief? Why would anyone want that? It's so strange, even for this time period.

The Doctor held me and Yaz close, stopping us in our tracks. My heart was racing at the simple touch. But as soon as the touch was there, it was gone. "I hope its okay with you (y/n) but you're going to have to be married to someone."

My heart stopped for a moment and I nearly choked on air. "What? Why?"

"Because women like yourself would have been married as young as 13 or 14. Now your only choices are me and Graham. You can't choose Ryan as he's supposed to be a butler and you can't choose Yaz as she's your maid. The choice is yours, I just need to know wether or not I should refer to you as my darling wife or not?"

What. The. Fuck.

Why did her even calling me that l, turn me on? Obviously, I'm going to choose her but I'm going to have to perfect my reasoning here.

"As much as I love Graham, it's going to be awkward if I have to kiss him or anything because he's like my grandad! I guess you'll do Timelord. Come on then husband, we don't want to be late to the dancefloor!" I spoke clearly hoping she didn't notice how excited I actually was to have even a hint of a relationship with her. It may be fake but ill take anything when it comes to her.

We arrived at the welcome committee and handed our cards over, aka the psychic paper. We were going as Mr and Mrs (last name). The Doctor was holding my hand this entire time and it's driving me insane. I don't know if she can feel my racing pulse under her fingers but if she can I hope she puts it down to excitement! We walked down the most grandest staircase you would ever lay your eyes on.

First we walked around, greeting everyone as they came up to us or if she dragged me to someone she knew, but not personally. She was cute when she was fangirling over these people. Yaz found it annoying as she just wanted to party but I couldn't help it. The way her eyes shimmer with recognition was more beautiful than any galaxy she could ever take us. Sometimes her eyes flickered with admiration and it did make me have jealousy for just a moment before I remembered, I'm staying with her and they aren't .

As the party moved on we met the host Edward. He looked a lot different than in his paintings. He was around 20 years old now and his blonde hair was below his shoulders. He looked a lot like his father with his muscley build. And he was very charismatic which I did not like as he poured all his charm into the Doctor. Does everyone here know that he's gay or does he see through the Doctors disguise? Either way, it was rubbing me the wrong way. I quickly excused myself with Yaz and walked into the bathroom.

"I did not like him. I do not like this Edward guy. Something about him rubs me completely wrong. He's handsome but something is telling me he knows the Doctor isn't a man."

"I felt the same way. He knows something we don't. Before we go out there again, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yaz asked. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. She knows. The jig is up with Yaz. "How do you feel about her, honestly? One minute you 2 are inseparable, then you distance yourself and now you are a nervous wreck around her! I won't judge but I just want to make sure my theory is correct."

Shit. I guess I really was obvious. Does she know?

"If your theory is about me falling hopelessly in love with the Doctor then you'd be correct. I can't help it. I'm going to tell her how I feel without being completely stupid. I just need a right moment to say it." I spoke with a heavy sigh. Hopefully, Yaz can help create that moment thay I need. She nods her head and opens the door. We walk back to the Doctor and notice Edward has gone to other guests and she was talking to Graham. I looked around and saw Ryan flirting with a pretty lady near the food table. Why am I not surprised?

A few hours had passed and the Doctor seemed bored with standing and talking so I made a plan in my head. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the dancefloor as the next song came on. I didn't quite know how to dance properly but I knew the basics if it. She has to lead and I simply follow suit. It took a few moments but I got the hang of it with the Doctors help. Soon we were dancing so gracefully underneath the most beautiful candelabra that lit up her face perfectly.

Her hair swayed to our perfect dance ever so gently. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and her lips were in a permanent smile. She even laughed a couple of times. Then as the music slowed down to a pace that was perfect, I grabbed her waist and looked her. My heart was going crazy and my legs were about to buckle but I had rehearsed my lines. I can do this.

"Hey Doc. Its been an amazing time with you but I can't continue this without being honest with you. But everytime I get close, I back down in fear. So I'm going to let you figure it out. Doctora te amo. Entiendo que si no sientes lo mismo y me iré si quieres. (Doctor i love you. i understand if you don't feel the same way and i'll leave if you want.)" I spoke with as much passion and intention as I could. I looked into her eyes and saw her confused and trying to work out what I said. I would find it cute if my heart was beating right out of my chest. "Well, I've had a great time but I'm fucking knackered. I'm calling it night. I'll be heading to the TARDIS if you need me."

"I'll come with ya. I'm knackered as well and we both need each other to undo the corsets and mine is starting to hurt a little bit. How we used to do this for a full day, everyday, is beyond my understanding. As beautiful as we look, I don't think its worth the pain this will bring in the morning." Yaz spoke with a slight mumble as proof of her mental state and finishing with a yawn. I chuckled at her state and walked back to the TARDIS with a small amount of chat along the way.

She is right though. These corsets really do hurt you after a while, I'm glad I chose not to wear heels or else I'll be fucked for in the morning. I would literally scream. I think the Doctor had the right idea in wearing a suit, no pain. I do feel bad for leaving her but I just need some space after basically admitting everything that's been built up within me for too damn long. Maybe I should tell Yaz how it went and maybe she can help determine if the Doctor is happy or not.

We walked back into the wardrobe room and I helped Yaz out of her corset. She immediately sighed in relief. She finished getting herself into comfy clothes and started to untie my ribbon.

"So did you tell her?"

"Sort of. I basically told her everything but in Spanish. I just hope it doesn't change anything, except in a positive way, of course! If she wants me gone, I've told her that it's fine and I understand. She's very socially awkward and as cute as I find it, it may not help me in this situation. Do you have any clues on how she may react once she figures it out?"

Yaz stopped untying my corset for a moment and placed 1 finger upon her chin in thought. Her eyes were almost shut and seemed almost completely black in the light. After what seemed like forever, she took her finger off her chin and beamed a toothy smile. Her eyes sparkled as she remembered something and seemed to gleam slightly menacingly. A smirk replaced her smile soon after.

"There's a few times she's shown affection towards you. And I mean romantic affection. She always chooses to hold your hand over anyone else's if given the choice. She always steps I'm front of you when an enemy threatens to kill us all or hurt us in anyway. When you go wandering around on your own, she's terrified thats she's lost you forever to an enemy we don't even know of!" Yaz starts explaining carefully as if she's worried on how to word it.

"Those are just friendly affec-"

"I wasn't done. I was warming up." Yaz interrupts me as I was about to go into a self deprecating speech on how I'm just a friend to everyone and never a lover. "She always looks to see your face on adventures because she secretly loves your reactions, bad or good. When the Master revealed himself, she looked straight at you for support on how she should react. When she came back from the Kasavin, she ran straight to you and made sure you were ok first before any of us. When we were in the Tsungra medical ship, the first person she asked for was you! Whilst she was unconscious on board the ship, she kept mumbling your name, over and over again. When she saw how gorgeous you looked today, I thought she'd take you right there on the spot! She fucking loves you (y/n)! You're just so unbelievably blind to it all!"

Yaz was almost red with rage. Did she really do all that, for me? The TARDIS mustve read my mind and seemed to hum positively in reply. If everything Yaz said is true then she'll be so happy about it and maybe we can be a thing! But then again, maybe losing so many in a similar position as me will turn her away. Maybe her soul is awry and she's asking why right now.

Once I had gotten changed I went to sleep almost straight away, I suppose all that dancing and social ques having tired me out more than I thought.

I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I rubbed my (e/c) eyes and told them I'd be a few minutes as I've only just woken up. It wasn't until I finished brushing my (h/c) hair that I remembered what happened yesterday. All the panic rushed within me at once and I nearly threw up. I took several deep breaths and opened the door.

"GRAHAM THANK FUCK ITS YOU!" I almost shouted at him. He looked a little bewildered for a moment before he seemed to remember what brought him here in the first place.

"Hello Love, I'm here because Doc wanted to speak with you privately in the library. She says that the TARDIS will guide you to her location. She seemed a little off after you and Yaz left. Did something happen? Is everything ok?" Graham asked cautiously. He must be so confused.

"Sort of. I'll explain more when I get back but what do you mean by "a little off"?"

"Well she seemed lost in all sense of the word. She kept muttering "Te Amo" all the time. She was all over the place aswell. She got me and Ryan back here not long after you guys. Something about not trusting Ryan to not get alcohol poisoning without her around. She hasn't really left the library since if I'm honest. She's been in there for 12 hours. I only know she wants you because she whattsapped me on my phone. Whatever is going on, please sort it out, she's starting to really worry me. She hasn't been the same since that Master guy came around." Graham spoke clearly, albeit confused. I nodded my head and walked in the opposite direction to him and hoped the TARDIS would take me there quicker than normal. I want to treat this like a plaster, rip it off in one go.

Sooner than I realised, I grabbed the all too familiar door knob of the library. I took a deep breath and walked in. A blue line appeared towards the interactive map. I awakened the console and I saw a black screen with a few words on it. It looked like a message with how it was presented.

Hello (y/n)! Don't walk until you calm. Breath deeply and try not to panic. I promise you, all will work out in the end. I see more than you realise and I know my thief better than anyone whoever stepped foot into my being. I know of her main problem about the situation. If she loves you, drink this. It won't hurt, she'll know what it is.

The TARDIS

I should have been surprised by this new knowledge that she could speak to me, in a way, but I've seen so much and I am so tender hooks so I didn't take much notice of it. I quickly sat down and tried to control my breathing. After about 5 or so minutes, I felt calm enough to finally meet up with her and hear what she has to say.

I followed the blue line carefully until I spotted her in a comfy room. She mustve gotten changed at some point as she was wearing her usual rainbow outfit, minus the jacket. She was sat on a deep purple sofa, legs curled into her body. Her shoes were on the carpeted floor underneath her, seemingly forgotten for the moment. There were many books surrounding us from many cultures and spieces. One wall had a cozy wood burning fireplace crackling within the silence that surrounded us.

Her face was scrunched within deep thought. Her eyes sparkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on; hope, sorrow or excitement? Her lips had a small smirk gracing them and her teeth had bitten a small part of it. Her hands were holding a book in a way where I couldn't quite see what it was.

I didn't want to disturb her as she looked so ethereal with the warm glow of the fire highlighting her in the perfect way. Unfortunately, it's plaster time and I wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. I took a deep breath took in the picture for memory.

"Hey, Graham said you wanted to talk to me? Is everything ok?" I asked gently and as softly as I could so she was carefully brought out of her little world. I didn't want to scare her. She raised her eyes from her book for a moment and bookmarked the page she was at with a little TARDIS paperclip. She placed the book on the table at the side of her and patted the seat next to her.

As I sat down my nerves were through the roof. She gave nothing away as she stared at me for a minute, as if assessing something about me.

"Why are you so nervous? Calm down. You are right, It is to do with last night. You left pretty abruptly after basically confessing your feelings to me. I was so confused, not just about what you said but about myself and what I wanted to do about you." The Doctor spoke monotonously. Did she mean get rid of me? "I had to first of all, find out what you said, well done on learning a new language by the way, one even I'm not fluent at. I'm guessing the old girl had something to do with that idea. Not that, you aren't smart enough but you don't know what languages I do or don't know."

The Tardis seemed to chuckled at the accusation and I simply nodded my head. "I wanted to buy myself time and to impress you."

"You impressed me a long time ago Miss (l/n). That is just a cherry on top. After I figured out what you said, no thanks to my old friend here, I went through a lot of thinking. I've not been in many relationships and you know my history regarding the ones I have been in. You know, River and Missy? And I have such a bad past with it ending in nothing but tears for me. I always lose those I care for deeply." She spoke with tears spilling from her gorgeous eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the stray tears that managed to escape their home.

"That was when you were a man. You're a woman now, everything is so different. Relationships can be heartbreaking. I know what you're main problem is and the TARDIS has a solution to that. I just need you to tell me the truth. How do you feel about me? Do you want me to stay or not?" I stated holding the small shot glassed amount of liquid in my hand. The liquid was golden and sparkled slightly in the light. There were specks of orange and silver within it and it was as hot as a nice cup of (hot drink). Her eyes sparkled with hope and shock. Her lips were smiling wide. And she seemed to giggle at the sight of it. She held it for a moment as if examining it like a rare artefact, maybe it was. Either way, I trust her judgement and if she's happy about it, then so am I. Once she had analysed the drink, she practically leapt into my arms and pushed me down on my back. She smelled of custard creams and the TARDIS which was odd but completely her and I couldn't imagine her smelling any other way.

"That does solve our problem! What she has just given you is the rarest liquid in the universe seeing as only one thing in the entirety of space can produce it. That drink is known as the nectar of the chosen ones. It's rare as the race that used to make them has practically gone extinct. There's only 3 left in the known universe and you're living in one. That drink is the blood of the TARDIS. It grants you immortality if you drink it. It is said to resemble your favourite beverage no matter who you are. However, it only lasts 100 years and you must drink it every century or else your body clock will kick in and you will age and be as mortal as you are now." She speaks with a warning as we sit up holding holds.

"I have no problem with that. I would sacrifice everything if it meant I got to call you mine. Just please tell me and I'll drink it." I told her with adoration in my eyes.

She held me close and planted a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. It was short but it sent more fireworks than you can imagine through my body. I knew I had found her. She grabbed my waist and whispered next to my ear:

"Te Amo"

[sxfterhearts]

37. [10:14 pm]

➳ pairing: yugyeom x reader

➳ genre/warnings: fluff with a sprinkle of suggestiveness ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), established relationship!au

➳ word count: 1,280 words

➳ summary: 37. “Can I kiss you?”

➳ author's note: for the lovely 🌻!! i sincerely hope that this will give you some ~feels~ and that it can act as a little mood booster for the upcoming week! i listened to a lot of ‘got7 but you’re in a car and its raining’ yt edits, which i’ve linked down below. thank you for always supporting me honey! ❤️

➳ music rec: ♪

You scrolled through the playlist labelled “2am drives” on your boyfriend’s Spotify, lips pursed together in deep concentration. You were spoilt for choice, seeing as both of you shared such a similar taste in music. The sound of rain and thunder beyond the comfort of his beat-up Honda was a suitable accompaniment to the cosy ballad you chose, the tunes uniting in a charming harmony that pleased and soothed your ears. As you busied yourself with filling up the queue, Yugyeom sneakily threw his arm around your shoulders, coaxing you to come closer, to lay closer on his warm body.

Your boyfriend was good at a lot of things. Dancing was a prime example, and making mixtapes was another. He seemed to be gifted in just about anything, especially everything to do with making you laugh. Being sneaky, however, was something he was not gifted at, at all.

His other hand messed around with his laptop, setting up the movie he downloaded earlier for the two of you to watch. You had initially suggested Princess Diaries to him in the hopes that you would be watching it on your couch over Netflix Party after a long, tiring week at university, surrounded by fluffy pillows and a generous serving of ice cream. You were fully prepared for the virtual date night – you cooked yourself a proper dinner – the first one this week, pampered yourself with a moisturising mask pack and even put on your favourite polka dot pyjamas. What you weren’t prepared for, however, was for your boyfriend to turn up at your front door, all giddy smiles and goofy gestures, urging you to join him on a late-night drive, destination nowhere.

In the months you had spent as Yugyeom’s girlfriend, you slowly began to accept your new life motto of “Expect the Unexpected”. Things never really go as planned when your Gentle Giant was around, and especially if his Thai best friend was also involved.

Which is exactly why you did not make a big fuss when your boyfriend tugged you out of your apartment and drove you into the rainy Seoul night. In fact, you gladly welcomed it. The past few days had been heavy, after all, and your heart’s battery needed to recharge by being around Yugyeom. As cheesy as it sounds, any time spent with your boyfriend was time well spent, regardless of whether the dates were planned weeks in advanced or sprung up on you via text as he left his dorm.

Once you were satisfied with your song choices, you shifted a little in his arms to face him and was pleasantly greeted by your favourite side profile in the world. His tongue poked out of his glistening lips while his nose, high and sharp, scrunched up cutely as he played with the settings. Your fingers yearned to trace along his arched browbone, down to the apples of his cheeks, pinching the tip of his nose before finally settling on the strong edge of his jaw. Perhaps you’d even steal a kiss from his lips.

Yugyeom emitted a victorious “Yes!”, barely audible above the pitter patter of the rain. “All set! We are ready to discover the wonders of Genovia with Her Royal Highness, Princess Tia.”

“Her name is Mia, not Tia.” You couldn’t help but to giggle at his mix-up.

His entire body shook as he laughed, eyes squeezing together in mirth. You scooted even closer to the boy, longing to be close enough to feel his skin against yours with absolutely no gaps in between; longing to feel his every movement and every breath. “Ah, I’m never good with English names!”

Yugyeom’s finger moved the cursor towards the play button, but you quickly halted his actions by placing your hand on top of his. “Wait, not yet.” You paused him. “Can we just sit here for a while?” Your voice was reduced to nothing but a whisper.

Yugyeom hummed in agreement, his chest vibrating against your back. The sensation was oddly comforting.

For a few moments, you simply closed your eyes, soaking in the affectionate warmth provided by Yugyeom’s embrace, listening to the music playing softly from the radio, remixed with the ambient rain falling onto car’s windows and the rhythmic beating of two connected hearts. He moved the laptop out of the way as gently as possible so that he could bring his other arm around your smaller, precious figure, completing the hug he couldn’t but would’ve gave you if he was beside you this past week.

Nothing else could compare to Yugyeom’s hugs, you concluded. The moment you felt the gentle pressure of his kiss against your hair, you were certain all the pent-up fatigue and frustration left your body and evaporated into thin air. A trembling breath left your lips. You were so secure, so filled with love that it was threatening to spill over.

“Better?” He mumbled with his chin resting upon your head.

The thumb that was rubbing slow circles against your forearm was distracting, hypnotising. Your words failed you. Instead, you opted to turn towards him with your chin angled upwards, a silent, telepathic Can I kiss you?

Yugyeom craned his head downwards, his lips meeting yours halfway. The kiss was soft and gentle at first, just two lovers greeting each other after days apart. Then came the playful nips at your bottom lip and teasing licks of your front teeth. It was hard to resist a giggle or two, which Yugyeom definitely used to his advantage by swiftly and expertly swooping into well-explored territory.

Every single fibre of your being rejoiced as your tongues danced a familiar tango. Better, you conveyed through heated kisses and insistent tugs of his hair, so much better.

You squealed in surprise when you felt his cold fingers travel under your pyjama bottoms, caressing your love handles. You could tell where this was going, and you were more than happy–

Until Yugyeom’s cursed ringtone pierced through the air. Your movements faltered, the rational part of your brain registering that there was only a small handful of people who would call your boyfriend at this hour. Yet, Yugyeom persisted, trailing down your jawline towards your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses and kitten licks in its wake.

“Yug–”

“Shh.” He shushed you immediately, his teeth grazing against delicate skin.

“Wait, it could be–” You were promptly cut off when Yugyeom nibbled and sucked, hard. The high-pitched whine that left your mouth was completely involuntary. “Could be important, baby. Maybe it’s Jaebeom oppa.”

Yugyeom groaned at the shrilly ringtone. Reluctantly, he peeled himself away from your neck and fished his phone out of his pocket. With a huff, he swiped across the screen to pick up the damned call.

“Yugyeom, finally! Listen, I worked out the final part of the song. We’ll use the same melody from the previous chorus but change the last two words of the sentence.”

“Great, hyung, hooray.” Yugyeom deadpanned. You smiled while poking his side, reprimanding him for being sarcastic and borderline rude to his senior.

“What’s with that tone, Kim Yugyeom? That’s not how you-”

“Hyung…” He whined into the phone. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. Thank you for figuring out the song, I’m just, you know, busy at the moment.”

“Oh, did I interrupt something? Is Y/N there? Wait, you know what, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know what you two lovebirds are up to. I’ll hang up, bye.”

“Bye, hyung.” Yugyeom said even after the line went dead. He tossed his phone onto the front seat before turning to you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Now, where were we?”

[regrettablewritings]

can i request the song meme with helena bertinelli?

In all honesty, I’m kinda done with the song meme. I’ll definitely do this because Helena needs more love, though.

Helena can act cool all she wants: She’s actually a pretty big nerd, with a tendency of hyping herself up by rehearsing lines in the mirror and also playing the right kind of music. Bass-heavy music. Music that makes you want to kick ass. And this? This is precisely the song for exactly that.

Well, she was raised in an Italian household: Opera is a given. She has specific memories of sitting in the living room, coloring whilst her mother played a compilation of Maria Callas’ work on the record player to accompany her knitting. In an effort to make her laugh, Helena would sometimes attempt to sing alongside the legendary soprano. But she normally saved it for this song, simply because the drama surrounding its in-show context was funny to see a little girl attempt to replicate.

Helena doesn’t really sing it anymore, barely even hums it really. But sometimes she’ll listen to it in a fit of nostalgia.

Watch out: Little Ms. Edgelord over here! Song simply makes her feel tough, especially when she’s training while it’s blaring. Brings her back to the days where her emo behavior was a bit more blatant and less about revenge and more about teenage wrath.

If anyone finds out that the notorious Crossbow Killer Huntress likes notoriously poppy group ABBA, then Gotham is gonna have a whole new rampage on its hands.

Helena worked so hard to build up an image of intimidation and darkness — she can’t let anybody know she’s let a foot-tap or head-bop happen because she was, for a moment, The Dancing Queen! But even so…She can’t help but love this particular song. It’s one of those gushy hope songs that on the outside seem too flimsy to be something a revenge-hungry wrath lady like herself would enjoy. But here we are: It’s cheesy, she loves it, she has a dream, she believes in angels, and if anyone finds out about it and tells anybody else about it then they’re gonna become an angel by her hands.

Yet another oddball song that just doesn’t seem to fit the exterior Helena’s tried to uphold in society. However, she’s a bit more forgiving if people know about it. Just a bit.

It’s Weird Al, after all, so his appeal tends to be understandable to most.

There’s no real reason why thing song in particular pops up, though; it’s just what Helena finds herself playing most often. Must be how soothing it sounds.

This, however, is more understandable as it marries two loves of Helena’s: Weird Al and rock music. She likes “Smells Like Teen Spirit” okay enough, but … she also likes the parody better. And if you try to call her out on that, you’ll end up getting your ass whooped.

She likes songs that make good fight music. More in-depth, though, is that Helena’s had to hang out at bars a lot to gather the intel necessary for hunting down her targets. Some songs, you hear over and over and hate them. Others, you hear over and over and decide to embrace them.

The latter is what happened with “Lightning Bolt”.

Come on. You’re going to look at me and tell me that Helena didn’t have an Avril Lavigne phase? It doesn’t matter if she spent most of her life in Italy, practically isolated: She found a way.

I feel like the songs her new friends would introduce her to would hold a special place in Helena’s heart. Being that Dinah is such a music-oriented person, it would stand that she’d know a few lesser-known pieces that would be easy for anyone to miss out on, let alone somebody who spent most of her life isolated and then the rest of it obsessing over getting revenge rather than growing an inner-life.

As stated before, Helena likes fighty songs that make you want to kick ass, so she appreciates this particular suggestion from Dinah.

Thank you for participating!

[final-fantasy-imagines]

Omg for song fic thing, would you please do some fluff with Reno or Rude (your preference) and the song Stand By Me? Any version, it's just, my favorite song in any form. I think it's beautiful and the lyrics make my cynical ass feel so comforted like it is the one true love song. Thanks and have a lovely day!

Thank you so much for the request! Stand by me is such a great song! I tried my best to incorporate it into the story and I really hope you enjoy the drabble. Have a lovely day too! (I listened to Florence and the machine’s version while writing this, just in case anyone’s interested.)

Stand by me – Reno x reader (fluff)

When the night has come

And the land is dark

And the moon is the only light we'll see

No I won't be afraid

Oh, I won't be afraid

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

When you heard the song for the first time, Reno and you had barely known each other. You had only started dating a few weeks ago, still trying to get to know each other while dwelling on the feeling of being newly enamored. With Reno, things felt different than in your previous relationship. You knew that it sounded absolutely cheesy and probably completely cliché too but there was something about him that made you feel like you finally met the right one. The one you wanted to have by your side forever, no matter what happened.

It was only natural that Stand by me kinda became your song after you heard it in the bar where you had met for your first formal date after hanging out with each other without making things official. Reno wasn’t paying attention to the music but you couldn’t help but smile when you noticed how well the lyrics fit your state of mind in that moment. It was like a sign of fate that you truly belonged together, even in the darkest and most complicated times.

You weren’t sure if he felt the same way though. But you were definitely hell-bent to find out.

You smiled at Reno who was sitting across the table, looking at you with a soft expression in his eyes you had never seen before. When he returned your smile and reached out for your hand to intertwine his fingers with yours, you felt your heart skip a beat. “It’s nice to be here with you,” he said, the tone of his voice much softer than usual. “We didn’t have much time to talk to each other the past few days.”

“Yeah,” you replied. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

In the background, the song had reached its chorus, and the next second, you caught yourself quietly humming along.

So darling, darling

Stand by me, oh stand by me

Oh stand, stand by me

Stand by me.

*

After that evening, you always listened to the song when you were alone and missed Reno so much that it almost hurt you physically. You knew that he couldn’t be with you all the time and you were totally okay with it but sometimes, you wished he would be home more often. You missed curling up on the sofa with him, maybe watching a movie and spending hours discussing it because Reno always managed to find even the smallest mistakes and plot holes.

But the well-known tune and the oh so familiar lyrics never failed to make you feel better when you had to spend yet another evening alone. It almost felt like Reno was there by your side, reassuring you that he would never leave you.

You wrapped the blanket tighter around you and closed your eyes, thinking back to the first time you had seen Reno. You had bumped into him when you rushed through the streets of Midgar, already late for your job interview, and he had effectively managed to drag you to the ground with him. Your clothes were ruined after that but just one glance into his mesmerizing, turquoise eyes had been enough to make you forget about the incident. Needless to say that you didn’t get a new job back then but in your opinion, you got something much better – you found someone you could always rely on.

If the sky that we look upon

should tumble and fall

or the mountain should crumble to the sea

I won’t cry, I won’t cry

No, I won’t shed a tear

Just as long as you stand, stand by me.

*

Three years later, the song was an integral part of your wedding. It played during the ceremony and you even managed to convince Reno to have your first dance to it. You had never told him how much it meant to you but as you looked into his eyes, finding nothing but love and adoration, you realized that you didn’t need to tell him. He knew exactly how you felt about the song.

Of course Reno had noticed how much you loved it. Over the past few years, you had never missed an opportunity to listen to Stand by me, and when you didn’t listen to it, you were quietly singing it to yourself or humming the tune. Sometimes, it had annoyed him but after he finally started paying attention to the lyrics too, he started to understand why you were so addicted to that song. He had never been a fan of love songs but that one was perfect, even in his opinion.

When you smiled at him like you were the happiest person on earth as you shared your first dance as a married couple, Reno leaned down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Darling, darling

stand by me, oh stand by me

Oh stand now, stand by me, stand by me

Whenever you’re in trouble won’t you stand by me

Oh stand by me, oh won’t you stand now, stand

Stand by me.

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

My Lethal White episode 1 recap

After having had a lot of fun recapping episode 2, I went back and did episode 1 as well. It got a bit out of hand and is a loooong post...

Under the cut, because, evidently, there will be ALL THE SPOILERS! 🚨

*SQUEEEEE!!!* THEY’RE BACK!!! 🤗💃🏻🙌🏼  (Yes, I’m still squeeing, although this is a rewatch)

Let’s look at the title sequence, shall we? They’ve added a few new details: There’s the wooden cross from the dell, the White Horse of Uffington and Robin’s Houses of Parliament guest pass. The child from Billy’s memories and the pink blanket. Someone’s already mentioned the ‘whore’ swirling in the coffee cup, and then later we have a fencing icon in the pint. Cool hints. 😎

Cut to tired, head-achy Cormoran at the wedding. Strike has a slightly different haircut, and I wonder: they dye Tom’s hair darker for the role, but he has a glint of natural first grey at the temples that I’ve seen on Tom pre-Strike. How did they keep that? (Sorry about the hair kink digression…☺️)

Pet peeve of mine they carried over from Career of Evil: in the book, Donald Laing slashes Strike’s palm, but it didn’t happen in the series. There was no blood on his hand when he called Robin, and his glove was intact. And yet, Strike has his hand bandaged. I know it’s a silly pet peeve of mine, but stuff like that pulls me out of the moment. And Strike wouldn’t slap on a bandage just for a little bruising. *steps off soap box*

“You look beautiful.” - “And you look terrible.” - “It’s this jacket, needs taking in.” 😂

“I want you back.” - “What?” Augh, the double meaning of it all, Strike’s softness and Robin’s initial uncertainty of what he means. 🥺

When she realizes that Matt deleted Strike’s messages, there’s a tear spilling from her eye, and she quickly wipes it away. 😢 Such good acting. Such a brave girl.

A few of us have already addressed this in the chat: did Matt BLOCK Strike, or delete his calls and messages? Or both? They’re frustratingly unclear about this detail, and it makes a difference in terms of Strike being able to reach her or not. (I’m a continuity nerd, sorry)

Sarah standing next to Matthew. *gags*

Robin looks so beautiful! And so very sad. (Holliday is acting her heart out of this season, can’t say it enough). This is award material, hands-down. 🏆

Her look across the room at Cormoran while they’re eating! And he’s… just been staring at her all through the meal? Good god. These two.

If Cormoran falls asleep before dessert he’s got to be really, REALLY tired.☺️ Poor baby.

We’ve got to work on your fine dining skills, Cormoran darling! It’s very cowboy and rugged, handling cutlery like that, but you would SINK during an aristocracy under-cover op. Maybe the Comte de la Fère is available for a lesson?

The first chords of The Calling’s “Wherever you will go”. Ack. They really went for the original, and as someone who’s always been ridiculously in love with that cheesy song, I AM HERE FOR IT.

Cormoran walking slow-mo past the bridesmaids, looking at Robin dancing with Matt The Twat. My heart…💔

When I’m gone you’ll need love to light the shadows on your face… *sniff*

Cormoran’s FACE during the dance. I can’t. He looks like a puppy about to get shot. 🥺

(and what a juxtaposition to the little lady with the funny hat bobbing happily next to him, to everyone looking awww and being completely ignorant of the drama that’s playing out. Ugh. I’m dead.)

Matthew moves like someone who’s (painstakingly) learned exactly one (1) dance, and for their wedding only, and why is he even smiling so proudly? They must’ve just had the biggest row in history? Is he really so full of himself?

Even Robin is smiling, although staring longingly at Strike. I bet they did that so Strike would be a little mad at her and want to walk away.

AND HE DOES! 😟 You can just see the “Fuck this” from the book crossing his face as he turns around and leaves. Ack. I’m dead again.

If I could then I would, I’ll go wherever you will go

(Perfectly placed, kudos) 👏🏼

And she runs after him, looking like a fairy-tale princess. Did you see how frigging COLD it must’ve been, judging by her breath?! Poor Holliday must have been freezing to death during the shoot. And then to pull off such a heartbreaking scene…

(Also, the lawn in the park? A shitload of rolled sods. No grass looks this lusciously green in winter, and you can see the edges everywhere. Some landscaper had a field day there!)

“Are you sure?” - “Yeah. I am.” About WHAT, you idiots?! *wrings hands* To her coming back to work, of course, but there’s so much more to their statements. And I’m sure that non-book-readers thought they were about to kiss and elope, but - alas! - we know that’s not going to happen.😔

But at least we get The Hug™️, and it’s everything we hoped for: Robin crying, digging her fingers into his jacket; Cormoran closing his eyes… God help us, we are all DOOMED sailing this ship! 🙈💔

I was a little miffed upon first watching that they faded out of that hug so quickly. That was it? No, it wasn’t, as we now know, and I love, love, love that we’re getting all these extended flashbacks that reveal more and more of what happened to us!

ONE BLOODY YEAR LATER (I still can’t get over that time jump)

Lol at the subcontractor crashing his moped into the cab! It was only briefly mentioned in the book, and turning it into an actual dialogue was a fun idea.😂

And there’s Denise (that IS her, right?), completely uninterested in doing her job. Good grief - Strike and Robin are BAD a picking employees! 🙈

Robin looking not-jealous-at-all at Strike walking off with Lorelei. Ouch.

I like Lorelei, btw. They chose the actress well, and she’s nice and mature. Which doesn’t mean that I’m not secretly flinching every time she kisses Cormoran. It’s just not right.

Billy. Joseph Quinn does an incredible job playing him. 👏🏼 As dangerous as he appears at first, his despair and his efforts at holding himself together are heartbreaking. That battle he wages against his mental illness is on full display, and his scared big eyes are killing me. 🥺

Cormoran is admirably unfazed by Billy’s appearance - is that his Army training kicking in? Robin, though, is shaking but braving it out, recording with her phone although her hands are trembling. Good acting by Holliday.

Good riddance, Denise.

The good ole’ pencil trick. “I didn’t know people still did this.” 😌

I was surprised that Cormoran chose to simply break into the house on Charlemont road. It’s breaking and entering for no good reason. Could’ve been anybody’s home.

He’s not going to- EWW! He’s sitting down on that filthy couch. And plucking hairs from it. EWW!🤢

Robin: “...and some porn.” 😂 Says it as if it’s what they always find. The usual. Men… 🙄

Who’s the guy taking pictures of Cormoran? I seriously don’t remember this from the b- Oh, WAIT! Reporter guy. Patterson. Yeah. Him.

The CORE members are as cliché in their looks as are Chiswell’s upper class folks. It’s all a bit on the nose for my taste, but then clichés are clichés for a reason.

Cormoran needs to work on his disguises. Not fitting in at all with the CORE crowd, age-wise or in his look. No wonder they don’t trust him. He does it better in the books.

Oh Robin. I actually think you need a lot more therapy to work through your shit.

Ah, here we go. Seaborn bacteria. But first, Matt’s got to be a prick again. 🙄

Chiswell with his arrogance and his rudeness and his finger-snapping. *shakes head* I think if Cormoran hadn’t known he could make some serious money with this case, he may have walked out on him.

Btw, the “large” jacket is making Strike look slimmer instead of bigger. 😄 They’re so desperately mentioning Strike’s largeness, as if beating it over our heads could actually make us not see barely-6-foot and slender Tom Burke.

“Couple more potatoes wouldn’t hurt.” And his FACE! 🥰

Glenister is a really good actor. I always listen to the Strike audiobooks that he narrates, and I was worried hearing his voice in the show would be confusing, but it’s not because he sounds so different. Can’t wait for him reading “Troubled Blood” to me! 🎧

Is it a coincidence that Drummond’s art gallery has a painting of a horse in its front window? I think not.

I love that soft blue shirt they put Cormoran in. Makes him look very huggable. *blushes*

“Not sure I would make a convincing goddaughter either.”😂

So in England you can just walk up to a minister’s house and ring the doorbell without any security people stopping you? Interesting.

Chiswell just shutting the door in Cormoran’s face. RUDE.😠

The brown contact lenses. 👀 Okay, they make her look different, but not THAT different. It’s her sudden posh accent that’s the real stunner.

The panic attacks. Holliday plays them so well, I almost feel like I can’t breathe myself. 😧

I was expecting the Houses of Parliament to look a little less like a stuffy basement full of old junk. *ducks*

Barclay! Definitely looking more attractive than his description in the book. And I thought I’d gotten food at understanding Scottish. I haven’t. *turns subtitles on*

Izzy is the only Chiswell offspring who doesn’t make me want to immediately vomit.

“Venetia. Like the blinds.” Oh God. 🙈

Winn is such a creep. 🤮 Poor Robin. GET AWAY FROM HER YOU LEECH!

Of course Matt doesn’t want Robin to wear the Green Dress. Twat.🙄

The house warming party. I always wonder why Robin doesn’t have friends of her own. I have a feeling Matt has something to do with that.

The earrings. So we will see Robin finding out Matt’s cheating on her! I can’t wait for her to rip him a new one! 😈

Robin calls Cormoran - and it’s not Coco but Lorelei who picks up. That’s a smart change from the book. And it makes her the rebound girl. Which she doesn’t deserve, but it is what it is.

“And she bakes.” 🥴 Is it just me wondering how Lorelei got that cake into the tin without ruining the icing?!

Flashback to The Hug™️. God, their faces are so close. Cormoran is so soft. Nnnnhhhggggg.

Enter the plaid shirt. Lumber!Cormoran is a good look on him! 😍

The Armchair of Sadness™️. Of course that’s where the devastating phone call to Robin’s house happens! The disbelief and disappointment on Cormoran’s face is heart rending. 😢💔

@lulacat3 and I have already established the continuity error with Cormoran’s facial injuries suddenly missing when he’s reached the pub. (And they should still be there; he’s still wearing the plaid shirt from that same evening.) If I were the makeup person I would have been deeply regretful of having missed dabbing fake injuries on Tom’s face again.

The Uffington Horse. Robin’s in appropriate Wellingtons, weather jacket and a beanie for their outing. Cormoran is wearing what he always wears, and Tom clearly wishes he had a beanie. At least he gets to wear a t-shirt under his eternally blue shirts this season. REVOLUTION! 😄

Sure. Let’s just go and dig for a corpse with a shovel so conveniently available! Just the two of them - one delicate Robin and one invalid. And then Robin finds the bones after ten seconds of digging. No further comment. 🙄

But I like the change with Cormoran’s leg. As stupidly heroic as he acted in the book, I like it better in the show where he has to acknowledge his handicap and Robin takes charge.

The bones. Dun-dun-DUN!

(Good first episode, although all in all the pacing wasn’t quite right yet, and compared to the book it all felt a bit rushed. I liked episode two better.)

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

Neil Josten's Playlist Part 6 - For Himself

Masterpost and link to the playlist in its entirety here

A lot of the songs Neil keeps are just for him. Sometimes you need to be in your feelings a bit and music is the only place you're comfortable doing that.

2. Shrike - Hozier

After he initially found Hozier, this boy didn’t listen to anything else for weeks straight if he could help it. Shrike I think is just a song that he loves the sound of. Pretty much the only thing we know in canon about Neil’s music taste is that he doesn’t like loud music. Which is incredibly vague and generalizing. To me, that tells me that Neil maybe is actually someone who tends to pay most attention to and by most effected by the sound of a song than the theme or lyrics or genre or anything. If he doesn’t like the sound, he doesn’t like the song. But a sound that appeals to him? Oh boy, he won’t be able to let it go. Shrike is like that for him. It’s gentle and smooth and I imagine he doesn’t pay too much attention to the lyrics or meaning. He just lets himself get lost in the sound.

11. Best Part - Daniel Caesar & H.E.R.

Not too much to say about this. It’s soft and beautiful and smooth, and I think Neil would greatly appreciate the sound. It’s a bit too soft for him to associate with Andrew, but he doesn’t need the association to enjoy it. Neil listens to it on his morning runs when the sun is only just rising and the world is still moving slowly. But he also listens to it on slower mornings when Andrew convinces him to forgo the morning run in favor of breakfast and coffee on the couch with the cats.

17. Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

Like some others on this list, this is a song that catches Neil wholly for its sound. Like the title, listening to this song feels a little like getting lost in a dream. There's just something very soft about it, and those are the kinds of songs that catches Neil's attention. He likes that he's found something he can get lost in for a time without losing himself.

27. Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright

As incredible of a song this is, the origin of Neil's connection to it isn't anything super emotional. The foxes made him watch Shrek. He became very attached to this song and would listen to it on repeat for weeks afterwards. They all got so sick of it. His aux cord privileges were revoked. Matt doesn't need to start CRYING while he's DRIVING Neil, THANK YOU.

As for his connection to it, a big trend I'm seeing in the stuff that I think Neil listens to is that a lot of it is very emotional. Sad songs, moving melodies, beautiful ballads. I think Neil listens to music to help him feel his emotions - like really feel them. He's so good at compartmentalizing and shoving everything down and away (as per the trauma of running for the better half of his life), I think listening to emotional music - like really listening to it all - as a means of getting in touch with the emotions he's always shoving aside would be a great coping mechanism for him. To that degree songs like this just strike a cord with Neil, even if there isn't any parallel to draw between the lyrics and his own life. A song is a package of emotion that Neil can hear and unpack and process at his own pace while retaining a safe degree of separation.

30. Obstacles - Syd Matters

Not a whole lot to say about this one. Neil finds it somehow - either through one of his foxes or just on his own - and he finds it incredibly calming. He keeps it close. It makes him hopeful even on days when he can't bring himself to look in the mirror. The steady melody and repeating words help him get lost in something other than his own thoughts.

35. Ashes On Your Eyes - Deb Talan

This is one Neil found on his own. It doesn't remind him of any of his foxes, though, or his mother. It's one of the few songs he has just for himself. It serves as a reminder that he's going to be okay. He has a great support system, but sometimes he likes to find comfort in himself just to prove that he can still do it. Songs like this keep him going on those days where he doesn't want to bring his problems to others.

37. Rivers and Roads - The Head and the Heart

This is one Neil gets his hands on in his final year at Palmetto, but it isn't just about Andrew for him (like most of the others from this year). This one is about all his foxes - his family. It's about how lonely he feels even when he has a whole group of people he lives and plays and interacts with on a daily basis. They aren't his people; his people are scattered everywhere. He only learned how to be a real person after he met them. Now he needs to learn to do it on his own. There's a special kind of pain that comes when he thinks of how much he misses each of them.

39. Unsteady - Ambassador X

This song is one Neil thinks of often when he's having bad days. He'll still always end up having some days where he doesn't feel like a real person, and on those days it can be hard to ground himself - to keep from floating away and giving up on everything he's built to run back to being nothing. What helps him most on those days is not being alone. It takes him a long time, though, to learn how to communicate what his needs are on those days. It's pretty lucky that Andrew can read him so well, but during the years when they aren't living together it becomes very hard for Neil to find the words to ask for help. This song helps him with that. The chorus is so short and to-the-point but is still such a bare-bones lay of emotion and need that it centers Neil enough to realize that he doesn't need to explain himself or mince his words when he's asking for help. He just needs to ask.

42. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day

The downside to having the music taste that Neil does is that sometimes he latches onto something that is apparently a bit cheesy or overplayed, and the foxes gladly tease him for liking it unironically. This is definitely one of those songs. It doesn't matter to him that it was basically everyone's 8th grade graduation song (he didn't get one of those anyway, Matt.) He listens to this and thinks of the passage of time and how hard it's going to be when his foxes are scattered all over the country while he's stuck alone in Palmetto. But they'll be happy, and he'll be happy soon enough after that. They'll all move forward but it doesn't mean they'll lose each other (he has to repeat that to himself on bad nights).

The completely serious way he listens to this song is funny to the foxes at first, but Nicky is the first to break down crying when it stops being funny. He's also the only one to break down crying, but that doesn't mean the others don't get emotional too. ("Jesus, Neil, you got a whole team of collegiate athletes getting emotional over the time-of-your-life song. How much more of a fucking weirdo enigma can you be??" -Andrew at some point probably)

47. Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.

Neil has some pretty intense, pretty specific trauma. Plenty of people in the world have experienced terrible things and it isn't a competition. Neil knows this. However, he's also painfully aware that he's someone who pulled the right numbers in the shit lottery. Sometimes it helps to hear this song.

He knows that maybe his own life experiences were not anything close to what the songwriter had in mind, but it still helps. It helps to remember that he isn't the only person in the world who has terrible days. It even helps to know that people outside of the foxes have bad days. It helps to find a way to feel connected to the larger population of the world. It's a definite new thing for him - feeling like he's allowed to belong in the world - but it's very comforting at times.

54. Lights Up - Harry Styles

((I wish I could remember who made a post once saying this was a very Neil song because that was how I first heard it and I wish I could credit that person. Alas, it was over a year ago when I first read the books and didn't recognize any usernames yet :/ if anyone knows who that is lmk!!))

There are a lot of things Neil doesn't know about himself. There are a lot of things from freshman year and before that he still feels some level of guilt for. But ultimately he doesn't regret a single choice he's made. There are a whole lot of things he's still figuring out about his life. He heard this song and really vibed with the sound and what it was saying. Not much more to say than that. He's found himself in a light that he's happy to stay and figure himself out in.

66. Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles

Mary was a bit of a Beatles fan. There were several of their songs she'd play on their long drives when they weren't being immediately tailed.

This wasn't one of them. She skipped this one, every single time. Neil fully understands why. For all the indulgence she gave herself in the music she listened to, this one seemed to cross a line she couldn't handle.

Now Neil listens to it on morning runs and good days. And he lets himself feel okay.

71. Fall on Me - R.E.M.

Neil's had plenty of people trying to hurt him throughout his life. He's never really gotten help from people he was supposed to get it from. And now he has a whole family of people who have experienced similar abandonment.

Sometimes that pisses him off.

Sometimes he just really wishes the world was a softer place. Andrew would say it's dumb to wish, especially for something like that. And he'd be right. But it doesn't stop Neil from thinking it sometimes.

73. Hat and Feet - Fountains of Wayne

Sometimes you're just beaten down and worn out. Just once in a while, Neil wants to let himself feel this without feeling terrible and lost for it. This song helps with that.

Sometimes you're just a hat and feet, and that's okay.

[wall-maria-fritz]

The Wingman (Erwin Smith x Marie)

Chapter 5: The Territory

Reposting this because I am officially overhauling my @levi-lives blog, in lieu of this one because SOMEONE Tumblr won't let my posts show up from there anymore! grrrr.

@levi-lives blog is still up tho, if you would like still see my original posts

The Wingman MASTERLIST

A/N: HELLO! YES I STILL PLAN ON FINISHING THIS BABY So much has happened these past 5 months that’s cost me my peace of mind and caused me so much heartbreak (haha i hate boys but what’s new? lol) But hey! At this point, I’m just choosing to see all this as new material to source my inspirations from now on  :P This chapter was written while listening to Pretty Please by Dua Lipa, Laisse-moi t'aimer by Laurie Darmon , and There You Are by WHAT THE DUCK. I actually made a playlist for all the songs I use, and ya’ll can find them HERE! I’ve written you lovelies a looong one for the looong wait! (4K words wtf XD) Enjoy!

Chapter 5: The Territory

Dearest Marie,

The moment you walked in the room, all blazing curls and bright hazel eyes, I knew you had me wrapped around your finger. And what is a man to do, when the most gorgeous woman he’s ever laid eyes upon, makes his heart stop the second she blesses him with her tinkling laugh and charming wit?

Truly Marie, you may very well be the death of me. But if that’s what it takes to keep your heart, then what a wonderful death it would be!

And I do swear, by my soldier’s honor, to offer up my heart to you, for you to do with as you wish. Break it or take it, I am at your whim’s mercy. But I do trust that a woman as gentle as she is beautiful, would never deny a dying man’s wish.

Forever Yours,

Nile

~

The Titan Territory was at the peak of its happy hour. Chock full of drunkards, lechers, soldiers, and the occasional vagabond. Most nights like these, Marie would be at the tips of her toes. Keeping alert, and focused on getting her work done without attracting trouble. She was a woman in a room full of inebriated men, after all. And it wouldn’t be uncommon for a few of these men to get… more handsy than usual. And it certainly isn‘t new to Marie either

But tonight, the barmaid did not seem to mind all the boisterous men nor the stench of ale. In fact, she looked rather flushed and chipper as she placed another mug of ale in front of a bucked-tooth man. She even smiled sarcastically when yet another man old enough to be her father used yet another recycled pick-up line at her. As opposed to straight up telling the old bloke that the age must be getting to him if his eyes couldn’t tell that she was no angel, but a person who definitely knows how to call the MP’s for harassment.

“Who is he?”

Marie paused pouring a mug to glance at Elena, confused by the sudden question. “Huh? Oh, I don‘t know, another dirty old man clearly.”

“Nooo,” Elena looked pointedly at Marie, her ruby red lips plumping into a tight ‘o.’ “Who’s got you daydreaming and out of it like that? I haven’t heard you give some poor drunk a good smack talk all night.” Marie pursed her lips. Elena immediately pointed a long, equally ruby red fingernail at her. “And that! You keep pursing your lips like that!” Elena’s amber eyes widened exaggeratedly. “Who did you kiss?”

Funny you would ask that, Marie thought sardonically. For the hundredth time that night, her mind reels back to the taste of strawberries and cigarettes, and carefree eyes so blue, she could drown in them. All at once, she is once again engulfed by strong, sure arms, and the heady smell of sandalwood.

And the lovely sight of the woman in front of her pressed against the very man she can’t seem to shake off her system.

Then Marie remembers the letter she received just that morning. Nile’s remarkably careful handwriting, and his smitten words resurfaced in her mind’s eye. Despite the cheesy—not to mention incessant—flirting. Marie certainly never thought Nile had such profound emotions for her. She’d be lying if she said that his confession wasn’t affecting her opinion of him.

Marie smiled, conniving. “I have an admirer.”

Elena was extremely intrigued. “Well? Spill! Who is it?”

The ginger girl smirked. “Guess.”

Before Elena could even speak the name, Marie went ahead and sashayed away from the ravenette, a tray of ale on hand. She knew what name Elena would answer. And she’d be right.

But she didn’t want to think about Nile, nor his tall friend’s irresistible dimpled smile.

So the barmaid bent down to serve mugs of ale and beer at a particularly loud table of drunk garrison soldiers—clearly drinking on duty if the presence of their uniforms were anything to go by– when she was startled out of her reverie by the bawdy laughter of drunks and the hard smack of a man’s hand against her rump. “Is this ass on the menu, girly?”

Marie whirled around, flinging an enraged hand to slap against the wretched bastard’s head, when the surly red-faced soldier caught her hands. They were unbelievably small and weak against his bruising grip. Marie gritted her teeth against the man’s sour ale-breath, and her own pounding heart. She could feel the lecherous eyes of the drunk’s buddies, laughing like predators baring their teeth. It was a busy night, and no one would bat an eye at a barmaid getting harassed in a tavern. She felt like a trapped deer, surrounded by lions in their very lair.

The soldier leaned dangerously close, almost like he’s sniffing her fear out. He tutted at Marie’s stricken face. “Tsk. Tsk. Good little girls don‘t hit their betters.”

Marie, very much a woman of spunk and grit, steeled her resolve.

She was going to give this motherfucker a nasty head-butt.

But she was never able to. Many things happened all at once– a sudden, strong force pushed the man back, making him crash against his group’s heavy wooden table.

He stumbled back, shocked and winded. Her harasser’s friends all shot up from their seats at the commotion, barstools clattering to the ground from the sudden movement.

Marie was pulled back into a solid chest, a firm arm anchoring her there; safe.

“The sign was right. This is Titan territory. This place stinks of one.”

The ginger girl strained her neck up to gape at the tall, imposing form of the very man who’s been haunting her thoughts all night. Erwin’s blue eyes barely even acknowledged the woman nestled against his chest. They were solely trained on the bastard coughing on the floor. Marie shivered. Erwin Smith looked cold and wicked.

Like the Devil passing judgement.

The drunk man whipped his head up, a menacing snarl distorting his red face as he clambered up off his ass.

“What was that, boy?”

“Just an observation.” Erwin sounded almost like he couldn’t care less if he was talking to a drunk gang of trained Garrison soldiers. Much less that he just shoved one.

The soldier guffawed. “Ho ho! You got some wit to ‘ya, pretty boy! But didn’t your momma teach you to never mess with a Titan’s territory?!” He moved to reach for a disgusted Marie, when his hand was abruptly grabbed and halted by an unshakeable grip.

Nile Dawk’s face was painted with a scowl. His dark eyes shooting daggers at the drunkard.

“Well she ain’t yours, Sergeant Kemper.”

Kemper spluttered, and tore his hand away. “Did we guess that right, sir?” Nile taunted, his eyes alight with the adrenaline in his system pumping for a fight.  His gaze briefly caught Marie’s wide-eyed stare, and winked. Marie’s cheeks went hot.

“And?! I’m a known soldier! What’s a couple of backwater punks gonna do, huh?” Kemper and his friends were just about ready to start a brawl, when Mike stepped in—knuckles cracking, nose sniffing out blood, his massive bulk intimidating. One look at the giant told them that he could sweep them all out, no problem.

Mike just grunted. “A hell of a whole lot, actually.”

Kemper very nearly whimpered like a kicked dog.

“I’m sure Captain Brezenska* wouldn’t like to hear reports of his men gallivanting around with barmaids, while drunk on duty and in uniform, yes?’’ It was Erwin who dealt that final blow. And just like that, the men trudged up and out The Territory, a slew of empty threats trailing in their wake.

Marie sighed. Relieved that what would have been a messy fight, was diffused.

Then Marie broke out of the arm holding her, and turned on Erwin. “Are you out of your mind?! You could’ve caused those men to seriously hurt you! Those are full-fledged soldiers. What if a brawl broke out? We’d all be banned from here!”

Erwin was taken aback. He certainly didn’t expect this response from a girl he just saved.

Nile immediately stepped in, holding his hands up. “Relax, Marie! My wingman here was just making sure those bastards knew not to mess with my girl!” Nile had an arm hooked around Erwin, and was grinning flirtatiously at her when Mike joked lowly.

“You better pee around her then, if you don’t want the wolves scenting your territory!”

Erwin and Nile froze, wide eyes boring into Mike’s careless, smirking, stupid face.

Marie straightened up, like a feline rearing her claws. A single perfect eyebrow arched high on her forehead.

Mike immediately choked on the booming laughter bubbling up in his throat, and stuttered out a cough and an apology– clearly forgetting that he was in the presence of a lady.

Although Nile and Erwin didn’t miss how Marie—this feisty, pretty little thing—singlehandedly brought a man who just threatened a group of drunks with just the sight of him, to a sheepish stutter. Marie decided then to let the comment slide. The man did just drive her harassers away.

Then like a cruel reminder, Elena’s full voice rang out. “Looks like my favorite customer decided to pay a visit!”

As is usually the case where Erwin and Elena are involved, Marie resisted the urge to roll her eyes back into her skull. The voluptuous brunette sashayed over to Erwin, who had one of his cheeky smiles playing around his lips. His dark blue eyes sending a naughty promise.

Mike brotherly clapped Erwin’s back. “Guess that’s my cue too.” He asks Elena, “Is that cutie Charley around? I heard I’m her favorite customer,” Mike smirked. Elena laughed, and pointed to where the tiny blond barmaid Mike was fooling around with last time was. When Mike left, Elena turned to Marie with a knowing look in her eye. “Let Erwin and I leave you two alone,” her red lips purred.

Marie was beginning to loathe that shade of red lipstick.

And was it just Marie, or was her perfume more nauseating than usual?

Nile stepped towards Marie, and nodded at his friend. “Go ahead man, knock yourself out, I got her.”

Erwin chuckled at the heart eyes his poor friend was making at the girl beside him, who was none the wiser.

None the wiser, because Erwin knew that longing look on  Marie’s face only meant that her mind was back at that charming apartment of hers too.

His calloused hands around her waist, her moans in his mouth.

Bright hazel eyes met deep blue ones. For a flicker of a moment, neither Marie nor Erwin wanted the other to go.

But just for a flicker.

“We’re not carrying you home again if you get shit-faced, Nile!” Erwin called to his friend, before he left with his hand against Elena’s back.

And like a bad omen, Marie watched Erwin’s broad back go.

~

“Again?”

Marie turned to Nile, her arms crossed, and one hip jutted out in amusement. She was smiling prettily at the man, whose rugged looks blushed crimson under her bright hazel eyes’ scrutiny. Nile rubbed the back of his neck and looked away, “Smith doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.” Marie laughed; a carefree, happy sound.

It absolutely captured Nile’s heart.

“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow, walking back to the bar to settle more orders. Nile followed her, leaning against the countertop as he watched the pretty barmaid go about her work. “Heck yeah,” Nile flashed her a megawatt smile. “That bastard doesn’t even get back to the barracks until after sunrise whenever he makes a go for one of his chicks.” Marie’s heart sank. “Is he always chasing after girls?” she huffed.

Nile blinked, then looked to where Erwin was. Marie followed his gaze, and found Elena all but giving the handsome blonde a lap dance.

Erwin seemed to be enjoying himself.

Marie’s eyes went to slits again. Nile saw this, and took it as another case of girls being so oddly protective of their girlfriends. The ravenette shook his head, “Erwin is a good man. He’s like a brother to me. He likes to play around sure, but I’ve never met a man with more honor. He’s much too gentlemanly to fuck your friend like a common whore.” Nile chuckled, “And besides, it’s the girls who chase after Erwin…”

Nile trailed off, his lips setting into a line when he saw the warmth that came over the look in Marie’s eyes.

Nile’s long fingers held Marie’s chin and moved her gaze back to him.

“But I’m not here to talk about Erwin.”

Tender hazel eyes became playful.

Meanwhile, Nile’s silver ones crinkled at the edges at the sound of Marie’s sweet voice saying, “What then, Cadet Dawk?”  Marie hadn’t realized how close Nile was. And just like the last time she was this close to the man, she could see the thick dark lashes framing the Nile’s light eyes. Except that now Marie saw how those eyes, paired with his high cheekbones, made Nile look like a dark elven sprite come to cause mischief upon mortals.

Marie recalled the letter he sent her, and thought it fitting that this dark sprite would write such enchanting words.  She still didn’t know what sorcery came over her that she was half-bewitched by this man’s one letter.

Nile carded his hands through his unruly dark locks, willing his beating heart to calm down. Sweet Sina she’s adorable, he thought.

There was so much Nile wanted to tell Marie. How he woke up every single day looking forward to the next time he’ll see her, thinking of all the little details of himself he wanted to let her know…

As much as he’d like to know all the little details she could ever offer him.

Yet, the poor guy could only splutter out a shaky and ineloquent “I-I… uhh, did you get my letter?”

Marie’s lips quirked up to a girlish giggle. If his letter was anything to go by, Marie knew Nile’s intentions had far more depth than that. Marie grinned while a lingering thought remained in her mind—this is a far cry from the Nile she read in that letter.

Perhaps Nile Dawk is more of a poet than a Romeo, Marie mused.

“I did. And you really are too sweet, Nile. I don‘t know what to say. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

Nile immediately sucked in a breath, gasping out, “Of course I do!  I—I couldn’t get my mind off of you. ” He winced. He sounded like an idiot. Like a desperate schoolboy talking to his first crush.

Not at all like the charming and suave man those letters made him out to be. It got Nile thinking that maybe he overestimated Erwin’s way with words a tad bit too much. But instead of making him feel like an absolute fool for it, Marie laughed good naturedly at his response.

“Cat got your tongue?” Marie teased, grinning at his antics. There was something Marie found really quirky about a man being so bold in writing, but so tongue-tied in person.

He’s kinda…cute, Marie realizes.

And like the fates deciding a destiny sealed shut and done, Nile felt his heart give a finalizing beat that this woman would be the woman he’d spend the rest of his days with.

Nile gave a relaxed, even relieved smile, and took Marie’s soft hand.

He brought it to his lips, and kissed the delicate, milky flesh.

Marie bit her lip as her cheeks burned red at the feel of his stubble grazing her hand. Nile’s silver eyes flashed up at her, and grinned boyishly, “I‘m more of a man of action.”

~

I got her.

The words echoed in Erwin’s head like a threat.

I got her.

The Territory’s lowlighting only accentuated the sharp planes of Erwin’s scowling face. Elena had left to get him his fourth glass of whiskey—on the rocks, just the way he liked it—after the very welcome distraction the minx gave him. If it weren’t for the woman draping herself all over his lap, her luscious dark hair entangled around his fingers, he would’ve probably not have stopped himself from moping longingly—not unlike what he was doing now– at the sight of his best friend making his Marie giggle.

His Marie?

Erwin dragged a hand over his face. His thick eyebrows scrunched together, as he felt a dull throb slowly form in his head. He needed a cigarette.

She isn’t MY Marie, Erwin scolded himself. He took out a joint, lit it up, and held it to his lips like muscle memory. He took in a deep drag, and watched Marie throw back her wild ginger curls in a fit of laughter, her freckled cheeks blooming almost as crimson as her hair.  She’s been amusing herself with Nile’s puppy dog flirtation for a good hour now.

“Go ahead man, knock yourself out, I got her,” Nile’s voice intruded his thoughts like a restless conscience.

No, Marie was never his. Erwin narrowed his eyes at the indulgent smile on Marie’s lips, as if she were cooing at his friend like a child, and wondered—

Perhaps Marie did not belong to anyone.

Erwin’s mind reels back to when he and Nile were just writing that first letter he left in Marie’s doorjamb….

~

It was an ungodly hour to still be awake in the barracks, but Nile took it upon himself to invade Erwin’s bunk with a pen and paper and a candle enough to last an hour. So now Erwin found himself with his copy of the Blue Book* against his thigh, the piece of paper atop it, and Nile practically moaning to him all the sappy little details of his love for a certain freckled ginger in the candlelight.

Mike was in his own bunk above Erwin‘s, pretending to have fallen asleep.

There was no way in hell he was gonna volunteer his ears for Nile’s emotional masturbation.

Erwin groaned, “Nile, do you know how physically painful it is to listen to you right now?”

“Why can’t I just tell her how much I wanna kiss her? How much I wanna give her the moon and the stars? How she’s literally my dream girl and how I swear to Sina, I’m gonna marry her?” Erwin rolled his eyes at that; Nile wants to marry every girl he ‘falls in love’ with.

“…Isn’t that the sort of thing girls want to hear?” Nile was truly perplexed, the poor bastard.

Erwin winced at his friend.

Mike couldn’t help it. “Sure, if she’s a goddamn fifteen year old virgin!” he called down from his bunk.

“Oi! I thought you were asleep!” Nile hissed, prompting Mike to start fake snoring again.

Erwin gave an exhausted sigh. It was late, he wanted to sleep.  “Didn’t I tell you? Marie’s a full grown woman. That sort of flattery isn’t going to work on her anymore. She isn’t going to entertain just because you tell her how much you want her, you gotta make her realize how much she wants you.”

Nile looked skeptical. “Alright then, Eyebrows. How would you do it?”

Blue eyes looked into the dancing flame of the candle at his trunk, his pen poised upon the paper.

“I would tell her how I notice all her little details—her curls, her eyes, the way she throws her head back when she laughs—and how they made me feel like a fool the first moment I saw them.” Erwin’s lips quirked up as he continued to look into the flame, “But most of all, I’d talk about her mind, her heart…”

Nile felt his teeth grind, and the muscles in his jaw twitch.

Mike stopped snoring; wide awake now.

They waited. Erwin continued, a glazed look still in his eyes.

“…How a woman like her makes me want to devote my very life to her.”

~

“Woah, don’t lose your cool, Wingman.”

Mike’s gruff voice pulled Erwin out of his reverie, as his friend joined him where he was leaning against the bar top.

He probably already got bored of his girl, Erwin thought.

Mike was already holding his own glass of bourbon in one hand, cigarette in the other. The larger man nudged the hand holding the joint at Erwin for the lighter.  Erwin wordlessly held out the light, and Mike placed the stick against the flame.

It’s always been like this with Mike. The two moved together with a wordless sense of trust and understanding; as seamlessly as a well-oiled machine.

“What happened to ‘Tomcat’?” Erwin chuckled, as he smoked with his friend. Mike just smirked, “Nah, you’re the Wingman now. Derek’s the Tomcat, more like. Müller certainly thinks so. Besides,” his green eyes slid over to Erwin’s hunched over form. “I think you’re losing your mojo.”

Erwin laughed out loud at that, a few curious heads turning to the handsome man throwing his blonde head back. Erwin’s broad shoulders straightened into their usual confident set. “You’re full of absolute bullshit Zacharias, that’s what I think.” He cocked a thick eyebrow at Mike’s scoffing, shaking head, “And it’s Müller’s daughter who thinks that. Müller thinks Derek’s a rodent he has to kill.” Erwin inhales a drag, “And like most pests, he’s a bitch to get rid of.”

Mike just hummed observantly, taking a sip of his bourbon. “Well, can you blame him? Your brother’s fighting for the woman he loves. That’s more than you seem to have the balls for.”

Erwin was silent.

The two men continued to watch their friend try to make Marie take a break, and sit down for a drink with him. She only just deflected him for the fifth time that night.

Mike sighed and placed a firm hand on Erwin’s shoulder. “Look, a bastard like me is in no place to tell you how to love– that just isn’t my thing. And Marie’s a special girl, I can tell.”

Erwin glanced sharply at the taller man.

Mike rolls his eyes, “Don’t worry!” Then hastily adds with clear exasperation, “She ain’t my type! But writing those letters?” Mike motions his head to Nile and Marie across the room.

“It’s going to hurt you, brother.”

Mike started swirling the bourbon in his glass, contemplating. “I understand that you do it out of love for our friend, but this can hurt Nile just as much. You had better pick a side, Smith. This woman, or your friend?” Mike threw back his drink in one swift gulp.

“But either way, it’s going to break your heart.”

Erwin blinked at Mike.

Then he chuckles warmly, a hand flicking away his blonde hair.

He’s always known that Mike was as keen as they come, but…

“Since when were you so wise, Bloodhound?

A/N:  AND THIS IS THE PART WHERE I RAMBLE AND DON’T HAVE TO WRITE PROPERLY LMAO

Captain Brezenska - I always had this headcanon that Rico comes from a military family, considering how seriously she takes her job as a Garrison soldier compared to her peers. Not to mention how she seems to have risen through the ranks as Captain despite looking quite young. I imagine, unlike the Survey Corps, you’ll need YEARS of experience to become an Elite Squad captain in the Garrison, since well… a third of the regiment doesn’t die every three months lol. So the Captain Brezenska mentioned here is Rico’s father!

The Blue Book- Another headcanon! The US Army calls their official guide to military training and maneuvers as “The Blue Book.” I think it made sense for the Cadet Corps to make use of a ‘Blue Book’ for its trainees as well.

That’s all for now! I’m working on a shit ton of other projects rn (I’m a commissioning artist hihihuhuhu) Not to mention c o l l e g e (ugh.) So Chapter 6 might take a while huhu.

In the meantime, I would love love love to interact with you lovelies, since I missed ya’ll sooo much! You can go hit me up here anytime! Or even at my ig: @artexmaria where I post a lot of my art, AND where I may or may not post my Derek Smith art if anyone’s wondering about Erwin’s hot old brother *winkwink.*  Y’all can also find me on AO3 as RosemaryTumbleweed <3

[thirsty-x1]

Midnight Softness | Han Seungwoo

Request:

hi can i request a one shot fluff where you just want to cuddle with seungwoo at home?

↬ Pairing: Seungwoo x Reader

↬ Genre: Fluff

↬ Warnings: too much softness

↬ Word Count: 1.5k

“I just miss you a little...” You were sitting on your sofa, knees against your chest, skipping channels with one hand whilst the other held your phone.

“I miss you too. What are you doing now?” Your boyfriend’s voice made you feel a little better, getting to hear him was better than nothing.

“I’m searching for a movie or something like that. Wouldn’t it be nice if you came? We could watch a horror film.” You remembered how the members in Victon said that Seungwoo enjoyed going to the cinema on his own, but when it came to you, he really just wanted to do every single thing with you by his side.

“A good one or a bad one?”

“They are all pretty good at being bad.”

His laugh on the other side of the line made you smile. You missed him so much... The schedules were killing him (and you) but he was working so hard and all that hard work was showing up. He was finally getting the recognition he always deserved and you were extremely happy for him, even if it meant that you two didn’t get to see each other often. Still, he made sure to talk to you every single day, no matter how busy he was. You kept talking with him for a while, until you noticed his voice was a little bit off.

“Are you feeling fine?”

“Huh? Yeah, why you ask?” His almost immediate reply made you suspect.

“Your voice sounds breathy... Were you exercising or something while we talked? You should get some rest.”

“Ah, I’m fine really, nothing like that...” Yet his breathing still sounded quite irregular, until you heard a car honking through the phone.

“Are you on the streets? You silly, shouldn’t be on the phone! What if something happens to you?” You were referring mostly to getting robbed or stalked by fans.

“I can take care of myself, you know? I’m a big guy.���

“Yeah, sure.” He liked giving weak and soft vibes, even if he had the body of a Greek god. Well, you couldn’t deny he was indeed the softest boy you had ever met, but maybe that was a little biased statement.

“I have to hang up now, but I will talk to you soon, yes?”

“Mhmm, take care, yes? I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

Silence surrounded you again. You pulled on the sleeves of the hoodie you had on, Seungwoo’s cologne still on the fabric. Turning up the volume of the movie that was playing, you started to pay attention to the plot, which made you feel even worse. It was all about a long distance relationship and how it slowly faded away, the feelings disappearing although they still cared deeply for each other. What kind of bullshit was this? Did Netflix really recommend this to you, right now? The disrespect.

You got up and started making some popcorn, the popping sound distracting your mind for a bit, your chin being held by your hand. Maybe some music would lift you up... You played the song that never failed to lift you up, and after the first chorus you were already tapping your fingers to the rhythm and slightly dancing around. There was no use in being sad and feeling down, right? Seungwoo was doing his best so you should too and support him. After one spin, you thought your heart was going to come off of your chest. At the second spin, your eyes got teary. And in the third one, strong arms held you close.

“W-What are you... How...”

Seungwoo shook a set of keys in his hands, the one you had given him a few months ago. It was the first time he used them to surprise you like this. Throwing your arms on his shoulders, you giggled and pecked his lips, his ears turning slightly red at the unexpected motion. A weird smell filled the air, making you remember about the popcorn, letting off of him to go and turn off the stove.

“You should buy the microwave one.” He hugged you from behind, laughing at the few burnt ones.

“These ones are more entertaining, besides this wouldn’t have happened if my boyfriend hadn’t materialized from the air.”

“Oh, yeah? Well your boyfriend missed you too much so asked permission, got denied and snuck off anyway.” Your eyes opened wide.

“What do you mean?! They are going to kill you!” He laughed again, this time holding your face between his hands.

“I asked Seungyoun to cover up for me, he is quite smart and creative, I’m sure he can hold them for a few hours.” His fingers poked your cheeks and tried to make your frown disappear, which seemed to work.

“Jeez... You should be more careful, you dummy.”

Now his lips kissed yours, a huge smile spreading on his face as he grabbed the bowl behind you and went to take a seat on the sofa, patting his thighs as if he had been waiting a long time to make that one action. You shook your head but still walked up to him, cuddling up on his lap as his big frame took over you.

You two searched for a movie and decided on one pretty fast, but to be honest, you didn’t watch two minutes of it. All you could do was admire him and his pretty features. His sharp jawline, his wide mouth, the way his glasses looked when slowly sliding down his nose and the way it scrunched whenever he tasted the taste of the burnt bits of popcorn, his bangs barely covering his eyebrows and forehead, the lightly smudged eyeliner on the corner of his big eyes, the way his dark eyebrows raised whenever one of the scenes turned into a plot twist, his sweet stare when he noticed you weren’t watching the screen at all, his fingers feeding you the pieces of popcorn that weren’t burnt. He was so pretty, and it felt unreal to have them right there with you, smiling in that unique way he did, his laugh vibrating against his chest, the slight squeaking sound making you giggle as well.

“Is there anything on my face?” He mocked you, tongue out as he let out the bowl aside to hold you.

“I love you so, so much.” Your declaration took him by surprise, a dumbfounded expression making its way on his face and his shoulders hitching up in the cutest embarrassment ever.

“I love you too, y/n. So, so, so much.” His touch felt tender as he played with the hem of his hoodie, another smile spreading on his face when he noticed that you wore his clothes when he wasn’t around. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent and leaving a soft kiss there, only to go back to stare at you again. “I missed you a lot, and I know I said it before but I will repeat it a thousand times more so get used to it.”

“I will never get tired of listening to you~” The way cooed made him feel all fuzzy inside, pinching your cheeks and tickling you, all at the same time. You were so cute in his eyes and sometimes he felt like squeezing you until you exploded in a million of confetti. Healthily, of course.

“What do you want to do now?” His soft voice sending warmth all over your body.

“Being like this with you...” Your fingers played with his hair, parting it gently so you could place a gentle kiss on his forehead. “This is all I want and all I need.”

“You are so cheesy.” You scoffed at him, flicking his forehead and running away, knowing he would catch you after a few steps anyway, a loud squeak leaving your lips as he lifted you up in the air making you spin around a few times before putting you down.

“You are cheesier... Trying to pull a Romeo by coming here.” Seungwoo made a fake hurt expression and let his weight fall on you, using it as an excuse to hold you closer.

“I liked seeing you dance before, but would you dance with me tonight?”

There was no need to reply anything, you simply started swaying with him softly, the music from the ending credits fitting perfectly with the whole situation and making you feel the star of movie where everything worked out, dancing at midnight with the man you loved as if nothing else mattered, and honestly? There was nothing else that you considered more beautifully soft than the moment you two were sharing right now.

I am not crying. Also, Seungyoun fucked up and Seungwoo had to run all the way back to the agency where his ass got beaten. He liked it tho. He is planning bringing it up to you some day.

~Nani

unedited

[bi-nick-carraway]

Y o, do you think you can make a fic request with that “nick can sing beautifully hc”?

Hi Loaf!! Sorry this took a few days. Quarantine is stressful ;-; It takes a while to get to the actual singing part, so hang in there while you read it. I hope you like it!!

Warning: implied/referenced sex, Jay Gatsby experiencing a Gay Panic™, cheesy title because I couldn't think of a better one

When he heard his lover sing, he knew

    Jay Gatsby knew what it was like to be in love. He was in love with Daisy Buchanan for far too long, and there had also been a few other flings in his youth. After Daisy left him, so did his love for her. It was a dream after all. In the absence of his affection for Daisy, a new affection began to grow for his best friend.

    Nick Carraway was there for Jay through it all. Despite all of Jay’s poor decisions and rather immature heartache, Nick stayed. It felt more than natural when they kissed for the first time, in a back room during a loud party in an exciting act of rebellion that Jay needed to soothe his heart break. Nick had tasted like champagne, and despite not being a drinker himself, the sharp taste of alcohol sent shivers down Jay’s spine. It truly felt natural, as if they should have been focusing on each other the whole time. It felt natural the first time Nick followed Jay into his bedroom late one night, after laughing and telling stories turned into longing looks and desperate, messy kisses. It felt natural when Nick more often than not woke up in Jay’s bed in the morning instead of his own.

    Jay’s affection toward Nick was really no surprise, but through all of their relationship’s progression, he never once labeled it as love. Perhaps his heart was still too raw after Daisy, perhaps he didn’t want to rush things, perhaps he was just that much afraid of hurting Nick. Jay acknowledged the throb in his chest that he felt every time Nick smiled at him, a smile full of tenderness and warmth that Jay never once saw Nick give anyone else, but Jay was still too nervous to label that feeling. In the back of his mind, he told himself he would eventually face the issue when the time was right, but when that moment came Jay Gatsby was not prepared.

    Like most nights, Nick had stayed with Jay instead of returning to his own house next door. However, when Jay woke the next morning, he found he was alone in bed. The spot next to him still smelled like his lover, but the sheets had grown cold. It was already late in the morning. Jay groaned, his head throbbing. He got drunk for the first time in years the evening before, and his head wasn’t the only place he was sore. Although the memory of the previous night was fuzzy, he could still practically feel Nick’s hands all over him. The thought of it made Jay flush. He forced himself to get out of bed and get dressed, even though he desperately wanted to sleep the day away. When he saw himself in the mirror, bags under his eyes and messy hair that had obviously been tugged on in addition to being mussed by his pillows, he swore when he saw a bruise on his neck that his collar would certainly not be able to hide. He decided to worry about it later and finished dressing, deciding on a blue silk shirt he knew Nick loved.

    As he travelled down the stairs, Jay pondered his lover, a man that made Jay feel like a flustered young girl. He was nowhere near against the butterflies in his stomach, but it still left the unanswered question of how Jay really felt toward Nick. Jay’s internal monologue didn’t last very long, for when he reached the bottom of the staircase, he heard notes echoing through the halls. The piano in the parlor, he realized. No one had played that piano in years. As Jay curiously approached the parlor, he heard that there was a voice accompanying the piano. A lovely, honey-sweet voice that just barely touched the notes, as opposed to aggressively attacking them (a style of singing Jay had heard from many performers at his parties). This voice was light, casual, and not particularly looking to impress anyone. It almost sounded like a lullaby. When Jay peeked into the room, his heart caught in his throat.

    There, sitting at the piano and singing softly, was Nick. Dressed in Jay’s clothes (he hadn’t yet thought to leave some of his own clothing at Jay’s house), hair styled with Jay’s hair product, and skin freshly cleaned using Jay’s soaps. It wasn’t exactly an unfamiliar sight, the singing made the small ache in Jay’s heart increase to the point that he wanted to clutch his chest. Jay had known Nick knew how to play the piano, he had known Nick used to sing in a church choir, but he had never once witnessed it. Nick’s voice was as soft and gentle as the kisses he placed on Jay’s shoulders late in the evening and early in the mornings when Jay always tried to convince him to stay in bed. Jay desperately tried to find a word worthy enough to describe it as he stood in the doorway, listening. Even “beautiful” didn’t quite do it justice.

    Once the song ended with its last featherlight notes, Jay finally entered the room. The sound of his footsteps startled Nick, and when he turned to see Jay, his face went pink. He stood to greet Jay, and failed in his attempt to hide his embarrassment.

    “I just thought I might, well,” Nick stammered as Jay approached him with wide eyes. “It’s been a while since I’ve played, and I knew you had this piano and I figured since you were still asleep I might as well practice a bit while I waited for you to wake up.” Jay couldn’t quite find words to respond, so Nick continued rambling. “There’s been breakfast prepared, though it’s almost noon. I should go make some fresh coffee, I know what you’re like without coffee, so-”

    “Nick,” Jay interrupted. He gently took Nick’s face in his hands, Nick’s face that was still brightly colored from embarrassment. “Nick, darling, that was beautiful. You’re beautiful.” Nick’s eyes softened, and he placed a hand on Jay’s wrist.

    “Now I know for a fact I’m not all that talented, but thank you for the flattery,” Nick teased with a gentle voice filled with fondness. Jay stubbornly shook his head.

    “I’ve never heard a more beautiful voice in my life.” Before Nick could protest further, Jay drew him into a kiss. A soft kiss full of warmth unlike their more passionate, heated kisses. A kiss that said something Jay didn’t have the nerve to admit to himself for such a long time.

    “You’re beautiful, too, you know,” Nick said when they pulled apart. The nervous tone had left his voice, and he looked at Jay with a confident look in his eyes. Jay hummed in response before giving Nick another quick kiss.

    “Nick, I…” Jay started, wishing he shared Nick’s confidence. Then he took a breath and brushed his thumb over Nick’s lips. “I love you.” He flushed and Nick laughed, causing Jay to squint. “Is something funny?”

    “No, nothing, it just took you long enough,” Nick said with a grin. He threw his arms around Jay suddenly and murmured against his neck: “I love you too, James. So much it hurts.” Then he pressed a kiss to Jay’s tan skin, right on the bruise he had left the night before. Jay wrapped his arms around his lover in a tight embrace, still embarrassed from his rather sudden confession.

    “Could I hear you sing again?” Jay asked tentatively, feeling as shy as a child. He couldn’t see Nick’s face, but Jay knew he had flushed by the way he further hid himself in Jay’s neck.

    “Let’s get you some coffee first,” Nick suggested when the embarrassment subsided. He pulled away with a smile so bright it nearly blinded Jay. “I wasn’t joking when I said you’re awful in the morning without it. Those bags under your eyes aren’t exactly a good look for you.”

    “Alright,” Jay laughed. “Lead the way, old sport.”

    “No, you are not calling me that anymore.” Nick scrunched his nose in feigned disgust.

    “Fine, fine,” Jay teased with a smile. “Lead the way, my love.” Nick let out a frustrated sigh and pulled Jay into a hard kiss before dragging him to the kitchen, trying desperately to hide his smile. Jay wasn’t the only one that felt butterflies after all.

[donkey-hyuck]

— thank you ❤︎

~ as i am writing this, i have surpassed 400 followers (now at 402)! i am thankful for everyone who has followed me and followed my passion as a writer. i started this blog somewhere last year (mayb march of 2019??) but unfortunately, i did delete my first few posts— even tho i really regret deleting it in the first place— but they were just not good so ig i had a reason??? however, thank you all for liking my shit haha

it’s kind of upsetting bc i have no asks to actually answer, but half of my followers are moots— lmao—and i’m so glad and thankful for every one of you. you all made me realize that i could be myself and even brought out a side of me i didn’t even knew i had. i’ve met so many good people that i genuinely consider friends and i’m so happy! so a big thanks for my following is all of you!!💗 (not gonna tag ppl bc ion wanna be cheesy😭)

now i have some giftes for y’all! i’ve updated my headers (of which have alr been edited and posted for the teasers), and i have some story ideas and headers alr in mind so i’m just gonna give them to you!

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (song fic; butterflies by queen naija) ↴

genre- angst (in the beginning) || fluff (pray for me)|| lil suggestive || strangers to friends to lovers|| college!au

characters/pairing- basketball player!yukhei x fem!reader || wayv/nct || (more to come..)

— in the midst of your relationship crisis, you’re set up with one of the most known basketball players in the district. though, you were more alike than you thought, yukhei made you feel some type of way; only for the feeling to be reciprocated. and you caused butterflies in each other’s tummies.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (song fic; i.l.y. by the rose) ↴

genre- fluff || angst || idol!au

characters/pairing- idol!jisung x younger, fem!reader || nct || other sm artists

— the reality of the world hit you both in the face. he was an idol and you were just an ordinary person that attended school and just overall worked your ass off. exposed by a dispatch article, there were an abundance of people that said the two of you would never work and that you were too young. yet you and jisung proved society wrong. and after quite the buzz, sm had released a press confirmation that changed your lives; and for the better.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (demi-god!au) ↴

genre- fluff || maybe a lil suggestive || also maybe a bit angst??? || demi-god! au || college freshman! au || e2l! au

characters/pairing- demi-god!donghyuck x fem, mortal!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— his secret was out, but no one cared. in fact, it made them love him even more. the son of nike, goddess of victory. he excelled at everything, only he was the exact opposite of his mother, and you hated him for that.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (criminal!au) ↴

genre- princess! au || criminal! au || angst || fluff ||suggestive

characters/pairing- criminal!hyuck X princess!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— born and raised in the castle, you never really got to experience life out of it. everything you did and learned had to be within the castle walls. yet, you were soon to be the queen, and have barely seen the people living in your kingdom. it was a shame, truly. but one night, whilst tossing and turning in your sleep, the bustle of rope on your balcony had instinctively told you to rise. slowly, opening the balcony doors, you’re met with criminal mastermind, lee donghyuck. you felt attracted to him the minute he spoke. and he promised you freedom from your own people. but he lied about who he was and his past, and when you later found out, you felt so damn naive.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (tv show inspired) ↴

genre- fluff || a lot of action (bc I’m a nerd)

characters/pairing- not a lot of pairing (even tho aang and katara highkey had a thing) avatar!mark x fem, waterbender!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— after accidentally coming across the last air bender with your brother, he is faced with the reality of the world a hundred years later. the fire nation had taken over almost all the villages across the globe. you and your brother had been destined to help out the avatar. and it was the avatar’s destiny to restore peace in the world. now it was time for the avatar to master all elements to defeat the fire nation and end the hundred year war; all while having the smallest crush on said water bender.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (pirate!au) ↴

genre- angst || fluff-ish lol || maybe a bit suggestive??

characters/pairing- pirate!hendery x runaway bride!reader || wayv/nct || (more to come..)

— you were arranged to be engaged to some snobby hero. but he was no hero, he was an impulsive liar. the man only got away with things because of his charm. everyone in the whole town believed what he said, no matter how false it was. the only true thing about him was that he loved you yet you didn’t have the guts to love him back. and on the day of your wedding, things didn’t go as planned and you were stolen as a victim. aboard the pirate ship, famous for its savages, wong kunhang is the captain of the boat and has a huge debt to pay.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (prince!au) ↴

genre- maleficent! au || dark fey! au || prince! au || angst || fantasy || suggestive

characters/pairing- prince!jaemin X fey, fem!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— the boy, na jaemin. ever since he had been born, stories of the fey’s had been the main talk within the kingdom for centuries. and na jaemin was an inquisitive person. so when one of his knights had told him a story about his experience with a fey, his curiosity only grew more. he was a very young boy when he first snuck out of the kingdom walls, out into the forest surrounding it. the rustling of the trees and branches only filled his ears as the moonlight cascaded onto his pale skin. until it was completely covered. since then, years had passed by, and na jaemin finds himself venturing past the walls once more. to find the fey that drew him into the mystical world behind it.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (from this point on, these fics i just haven’t written down yet) ↴

genre- prince/king!au || fluff || angst

characters/pairing- prince!taeil x seamstress!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— prince moon taeil, now, king. he’d first met you when you were both twelve. living at the orphanage at the time, taeil was amazed at how beautifully skilled you were at your music abilities. his mother and father had always thrived off of the sound and calmness music had brought them. but when he introduced you as a musician, they had refused to acknowledge you and expelled you from ever getting near their son and the castle ever again. but taeil would not give up, because after all those years of listening to you, he’d developed feelings. you were the music notes to his own song; the pauper and the prince. (rough-draft summary)

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (song fic; when night falls [긴밤이오면 OST] by eddy kim) ↴

genre- post breakup!au (if that makes sense) || long distance relationship!au || ghost!au || angst :’)

characters/pairing- ghost!jungwoo x fem!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— they said long distance relationships weren’t easy. but after five whole years, you and jungwoo had proved the hypothesis wrong. there was the occasional meeting while you were in seoul but other than that, it was all screens and pixelated lovers. however, when you got moved to a new job, farther than what you had expected, your path was solely based on your career and so you broke up with the man. three years had then gone by with little communication until the second year came and jungwoo completely cut contact with you. but when you came back to visit friends, kim jungwoo’s spirit— who now roams the streets of seoul, korea— notices you’re back; but you never noticed that he was gone. (rough-draft summary)

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (high school! au) ↴

genre- high school (musical)!au || lots of fluff || a lil angst

characters/pairing- troy bolton esque! chenle, gabriella montez esque!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— after moving across the country, your father was granted an internship. so once you moved to the place you didn’t call home, there was someone that brought it all back. who knew after one interaction would make you feel this way? (rough-draft summary)

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

thank you all again!! please look forward to these! i love you to the universe and back!💗