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royallyprincesslilly · 5 years

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Title: Love, Maybe? {36}**

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Fluff, Angst, Slow Burn, Tease, NSFW, SMUT

Word Count: 6.3K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

NOTE: **Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought. Recommended listening when indicated by the musical note 🎵: 1st: Pssy & Wine by: Mike Champion and 2nd: All On Me by: Sean Paul

**Loosley Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive***

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤❤️

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Chapter 36: Seize The Day

-Vixen-

Singing along to the sounds of Lauryn Hill’s version of Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You, you danced around and finished preparing breakfast. This was one of your favorite songs and today you were feeling it.

“Oh pretty baby, don’t let me down I pray.”

You rocked your hips and used the tongs as a microphone and hit the high note as you turned to see Chris leaning against the wall with a smile on his face.

“Shit!”

“Wow, serenade and breakfast.” You pinched your lips and turned back to the stove to finish the sausages to hide your embarrassment.

“Morning.” You felt him wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek then your neck.

“Good morning,” you whispered with a smile.

“Mmm, it smells great, it’s been quite a while since anyone made me breakfast,” Chris added.

“Liar, I’ve made breakfast almost every morning since we’ve been in Boston.”

He smiled and turned you to him. “Wow, liar is a bit harsh. Take it back.” You smiled and shook your head.

“Nope. You take it back. I’ve been feeding you well.” his smile was wide as he dropped his lips to your collar.

“Oh yes you have, very, very well,” he answered placing kisses across your collar and chest. You moaned and quickly got lost. His lips felt amazing. Before you knew it he was stooped before you and kissing your stomach and quickly making his way to the apex of your thighs. His tongue was a weapon and he knew just how to use it.

You groaned and enjoyed the pleasure he gave before you remembered the plan for the day.

“Mmm, Chris. Stop.” As soon as the words were said he pulled away from you.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay, nothing like that. I just have a shoot to get to,” you explained.

“A shoot?”

“Yes, because I had to come here for work, Kassius rearranged the promo shoot for here. I have to be there in an hour which means we only have time to eat and go.”

“Oh, okay. What’s for breakfast?”

“Uh, waffles, sausages, some fruit, and chive scrambled eggs. Don’t tell anyone I stole some ingredients last night.” His smile was perfect, you loved it. Pushing it to the side you put a plate in front of him on the counter.

“Thank you.” You hopped onto the counter beside him and began eating.

It was interesting how all this felt as natural as breathing like you’ve been doing this for the last three years and no time had passed at all. You wondered what he thought of your life here. You knew bringing him here would mean he’d see the restaurant, see the house and it would be like confirmation that you’d led this life without him, on purpose. You wondered if he was angry and was hiding it.

Last night there was no anger in him. He was gentle and amazing, everything you’d remembered him to be. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel anything last night. How could you not especially with that song playing? Occasionally you listened to it when you couldn’t sleep and now he knew it, he knew just how much you thought about Vegas and him. you didn’t feel embarrassed then to tell him the truth, but now you felt exposed and you hated it.

After breakfast, you went into the shower and used it to get your thoughts and emotions under control. It was quite the feat because you were everywhere but after almost forty minutes you managed. When you met him in the foyer he was dressed and ready for the day. The two of you got into the rental car and drove through the city to the address of the shoot. He asked plenty of questions about the area when you pointed out Ella’s preschool he had a lot more of them. His interest in your life made you feel good.

When you arrived at the location of the shoot it was time to get to work. The photographer and one of the guys from the team were there to convey just the look Kassius wanted to achieve. You listened in and corrected them when you heard something that just wasn’t you. You wanted to remain true to who you were and not give in to this fake image, you weren’t Hollywood and you would never pretend to be.

The first look was your chef’s and kitchen attire that you’d chosen for the new restaurant, complete with a chef’s hat. You smiled for the pictures and tried to listen to the instruction for poses but you felt so out of place, so awkward that you were sure that it was coming through in the photos.

“Okay Vixen, how about you do some poses you normally do in the kitchen,” Albee the photographer suggested.

“Uh, poses in a kitchen? I don’t pose in my kitchen. I cook,” you announced. Those around smiled.

“Fair, I walked into that one, but what are some actions that you do in the kitchen? Can you do those?”

You looked around the set and walked over to the kitchen area and tried to imitate chopping without a knife then tried to stir a pot without an actual pot to stir. You felt ridiculous and after a few minutes, Chris came to stand beside the photographer. He then whispered something to him.

“All right let’s take five everyone,” Albee announced.

Chris walked over to you with an amused look on his face.

“On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst how bad did that look?” He smiled and took a deep breath.

“Well, I don’t want to lie, so eight.” You nodded and sighed out feeling frustrated with the day.

“Okay look, this is new for you. you’re used to being in the kitchen whipping up incredible dishes being in front of a camera and doing this is weird. I get it, we all get it but you’re overthinking just a bit. I do this way more than I like. It usually helps to make it as natural as possible,” Chris explained.

“And how do you suggest I do that?”

“I am glad you asked. First, loosen up you have no need to be self-conscious or nervous, you’re gorgeous and the camera loves you. Put yourself in natural positions, think of it as acting.”

“I am not an actor.”

“Neither am I, but don’t tell anyone. Just put yourself in a mindset. You are playing a chef, think of their traits, characteristics, emulate those. When I watched you in the kitchen last night you demanded attention, you were authoritative, confident, controlled, and efficient. You can easily portray those to a camera. Think of poses that show just that.”

You were hearing him and everything he said was good advice, but you also were focused way too closely on his mouth. It would be so easy to get lost in watching him. The way his mouth moved and then his expressions to convey the meaning of his words were poetic.

“Try it. I promise it’ll feel easier.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“Anytime.” Chris walked back to stand next to the photographer then he gave you a thumbs up. You nodded and took a few relaxing breaths and went through his advice once more in your head.

“Ready Vixen?”

“Yep.”

You crossed your arms and gave a smirk then remixed it and planted them on your hips and flicked out your shoulder to slightly look over it.

“Nice, great shots. Keep em’ coming,” Albee critiqued. You felt some of the nerves fall away as you got a little more comfortable. That comfort had you settling into this role that Chris laid out. You glanced at him and he was nodded with a smile of approval. It felt nice to have it.

Fifteen minutes later, you were posed on top of the kitchen counter like some pin-up model doing role play.

“All right Vixen, we’ve got some good ones here. Let’s try something different, follow me,” Albee said.

You hopped off the counter and followed him to a neighboring room that had a real-life kitchen and plenty of things scattered about.

“Uh, what’s this?”

“Chris brought up something good, you can’t fake what you do. What you do has to be done to be captured, so everything you need to make a dish. As you make it I’m going to snap your pictures. It’ll be real-life art,” Albee explained.

You looked to Chris who shrugged as if it was nothing. He did this and acted like it was just something regular, something that didn’t need attention.

“Ready?”

You nodded and walked to the kitchen and surveilled your surroundings then went to work. This you could do because it felt as easy as breathing, you didn’t have to think about it or plan steps ahead of time. You could hear Albee’s camera clicking but it was easy to ignore it, he worked around you and your actions. There were quite a few comedic flubs that Albee said not to worry about they looked endearing on camera and would work well.

Halfway through you’d forgotten you were being pictured and now filmed and you were just enjoying what you loved to do. Soon you’d drawn the attention of those who were on set and in the building. They shouted out question after question about the steps you took or how you did something and it turned into a live cooking show.

About forty minutes in all and you were finished. With the final product in front of you, you finished the shoot with a few shots. You felt in your zone like this was you and not an act.

“Great work Vixen, my god we got some great shots and footage. You did great.”

“Thank you. this wasn’t that bad.”

Albee laughed and patted your arm before he walked off. You looked around for Chris but didn’t see him anywhere. You heard a “psst” behind you and saw him peeking out from behind a wall. As you approached you saw he wore a bright smile.

“What’re you doing?”

“I didn’t want to be seen by the people who came in. I wanted this to be just about you.”

“So you hid back here the entire time?”

“Not the entire time, maybe thirty minutes. It’s no big deal. You were great. How’d it feel?”

You quickly pressed your lips to his giving him a sweet kiss that quickly turned into a sultry one. Chris had one hand on your hip and the other cupping your cheek as you intensified the kiss. You wrapped one arm around his neck and just enjoyed it. When you pulled away his eyes were closed.

“Wow.” Chris looked at you with complete shock and a dumbfounded expression. You pinched your lips and looked down.

“What was that for?”

“Uh, thank you. You—you did this, and I appreciate it.” He didn’t speak for a few moments; he just stared at you and gently stroked your cheek with the back of his hand.

“I’d do anything for you Vixen.” His words hit you like a ton of bricks and several moments passed with the two of you just staring at each other.

“Excuse me—Vixen?” You stepped away at the sound of Albee’s assistant’s voice.

“Albee wants to know if you want to see some of the shots.”

“Yeah, definitely. Thank you.” Without a word to Chris, you walked off to Albee.

The shots were amazing, and they made you look better than you actually did. You were more than pleased with them and knew Kassius would be too. You mentally checked off another thing on your to-do list and felt excitement bubble with how close this all was to being finished.

When you and Chris stepped out onto the sun-drenched sidewalk you took a deep breath. “All right, work is done for the day. I have an idea. Let me show you my San Francisco. I’ll take you to a few places I go often, and we’ll grab lunch in there at some point,” you suggested.

“Sounds good. Lead the way.” He slipped his sunglasses on and tipped his hat low securing the incognito celebrity signature fashion and the two of you were off.

Five minutes later, you were on a cable car. You were standing on the side holding on to the bar with Chris behind you with one hand on the bar and the other holding you around the waist. “The likelihood of me falling off is slim,” you assured.

“Better safe than sorry, there’s a little girl who would kill me if anything happened to her favorite person in the world.” You smiled and allowed him to hold you close, you didn’t mind, you actually liked it.

When you got off you brought him into your favorite bakery. Once he walked inside he moaned. At the counter, he damn near pressed his face to the display case as he admired every treat there. You took care of ordering one of each of the eight things you, Ella and Nex loved here. Once they were ready you were off again. As you walked and talked you ate, it was the San Franciscan way.

Next, you took him to Telegraph Hill and to some of the famous stone step paths in the city. You talked about a variety of things as you walked toward the steps you knew that would take to you the waterside. He told you stories about his childhood, his siblings, stories about his first few years in Hollywood, stories about those he was closest to in the business and even how he’d med them. It was enlightening. Occasionally he’d initiate contact either through a securing hand at your back, or an assistive hand down a steep decline, every time it made you feel like a girly girl and gave you butterflies.

Once you’d made it to one of the waterside locations where you pointed out Alcatraz. He was able to use the telescope there to find it. That was when he proceeded to list off a few impressive facts about the place, surprising you in the process with his broad knowledge. After his near five-minute lecture, he stopped and the most adorkable expression washed over him, it was one of embarrassment and humor. It was perfect and gave you a sight of a new side. You sat at the waterside for some time and enjoyed the smell of the water, the sun, and the breeze through the trees. It was a beautiful afternoon. Chris would brush your hair from your face often. When you felt him take your hand it made you smile like an idiot which made him smile like an even bigger idiot and you were two idiots holding hands smiling.

When you took him to the best seafood restaurant in town the two of you did not downplay how much you ate. You ordered everything on the menu and plenty of beer to go with it as did he and the two of you pigged out without an ounce of shame. It felt good to just relax and not have there be any awkwardness or tension between you. It felt like the night in LA when you’d had tacos together, comfortable.

The sun had set by the time you made it to your last stop, a chocolatier. Turns out he has a mean sweet tooth that he likes to keep under wraps. While there, he tried almost all of their seventy variations of chocolate treats one after the other. You had no wonder where Ella got her sweets obsession, neither of them had any chill. A few times he’d feed you a few pieces as if it didn’t take a thought. He even finished something you’d had a bite of or wiped chocolate from the corner of your mouth and licked his finger afterward. By the time you left the shop, you were holding hands and slowly strolling to the cable car. On the car, he stood behind you with both arms wrapped around you whispering into your ear with his chin on your shoulder. You had no idea how you’d gotten here, but you liked it here.

When you were home you and Chris split up. It allowed you time to shower and check emails and respond to Kassius and other work obligations. After an hour, you’d finished applications for the new restaurant, chosen your kitchen staff and most of your wait staff and signed off on most of the vendors before you got caught up talking to Ella. She told you all about the great things she’d been doing with her grandmothers and cousins. She sounded like she was having a blast and barely missed you or Chris. After promising her you’d be back tomorrow she asked to talk to Chris. You found him in the living room doing some work of his own. Once he heard her voice his face lit up.

You went back to your room to give him some space. When you were in your closet a great idea hit you. When you turned Chris was walking in.

“She doesn’t sound like she misses me at all.”

You snorted and laughed then patted his shoulder. “Aww, you’ll get over it.”

“I don’t know if I will.”

“I have a great idea. This is your last night here, how about I take you to one of my favorite places.”

“What kind of place is this?”

“Uh, it’s a bit of a dancehall,” you informed. Chris’ eyebrows shot up.

“Dancehall? As in club?”

“Not a traditional club, it has more of an underground vibe to it. not many people know about it, the music is good, and the drinks are strong. Nexus and I like to go there every once in a while when I’m not too swamped.”

“So, I’ll see you in your natural environment?”

You laughed and gently pushed him. “Natural environment? What am I some endangered species?”

Chris pulled you flush against him with a wide smile on his face then wrapped his arms around you. “Of course, you are. You’re a rare unicorn, mother of unicorns,” he teased. The two of you laughed together until he softly kissed you once then twice and teased your bottom lip. You kissed him back and allowed him to press you against your opened door.

“So, do you want to?”

Chris nodded and kissed your nose. “I do, I want to do everything with you.” You smiled and tried not to blush. The way he easily made you feel like a schoolgirl was crazy.

“Okay. So get ready.” You pulled away and bit your bottom lip, an action he imitated. Neither of you moved again and you felt the air in the room change. You knew he felt it too.

“Thirty minutes?”

You nodded and walked away toward your closet trying to create space between you to prevent the inevitable.

An hour and a half later, you walked inside the dancehall with Chris close behind you. One hand was on your waist as you held the other. The music was loud, and the air was hazy from the mixture of smoke from numerous substances. Off to one corner, you saw a group doing hookah, and nearby a few were smoking blunts and cigarettes. The combination of scents wasn’t unpleasant. As you passed people you noticed a few guys who looked you over before looking to Chris. His hand on your waist tightened possessively.

At a small table in a far-right corner you sat and crossed your legs, Chris’ eyes immediately fell to your exposed thighs.

“That outfit is bringing plenty of attention,” shouted over the music. You smiled and shrugged.

“Is it?” He nodded and scooted closer to you stretched his arm around your shoulder and whispered to you.

“Trying to make me jealous?” You smiled and locked eyes with him.

“I didn’t know I had the power to make you jealous.”

“You have more power than you know,” he whispered back. The look that you shared stole your breath and made your heart race. Everything around you faded and neither of you noticed anything or anyone.

“Eh-em!”

Before you was one of the bottle girls with a smile on her face. Chris dipped his head down and hid it behind your shoulder just a bit.

“Hi.”

“What can I getcha?”

“Two bourbons, double,” you answered.

She nodded and walked off but not before glancing back at Chris.

“I don’t think she recognized you,” you assured.

The music changed to a modern day soca hit and everyone around you livened up and began dancing and chanting along with it.

“Do you dance?”

Chris smiled and went back to your ear. “I think you know the answer to that.”

You remembered your time in Vegas, you’d been in a club together and danced together. He had rhythm. That coupled with his charm made him a great dancer, although you may have been so drunk and horny anything was good to you.

“I was drunk as hell; everything was great that night.”

He smiled and nodded then stood and held his hand out. You looked at it then him and took it. Chris pulled you to him and then brought you toward an even darker corner. Once there he began bouncing to the beat trying to coax you into joining him. slowly you began dancing with him and it didn’t take any time at all for the two of you to begin to enjoy yourselves. You were right he had rhythm and was such a goofball that even if he messed up he didn’t care.

You took a break and went back to your table to enjoy your drinks and some conversation. The energy in the club was great and you loved that it didn’t get overpacked, there was a max occupancy of a hundred or so and even then it wasn’t as if everyone was all over each other. The music changed several times and went between reggae to soca to sultry RnB and it was all working together with the drinks you had.

A few hours later, you were as loose as you were going to get, and you grabbed his hand and lead him to a dark corner that wasn’t occupied. Halfway there Chris pulled you back into him and softly kissed your neck. The music changed as soon as you got to your destination and you couldn’t have planned it better. The sounds of 🎵Mike Champion surrounded you. You turned to Chris and locked eyes with him and began swaying your body. He didn’t pretend not to look at you, his eyes slowly raked over your body before his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

The song was one of your favorites and it always put you in the mind frame where your thoughts easily flowed to him. With him in front of you, you decided to tease him. Turning your back to him Chris squeezed your hip and stood there as you swayed and ground your hips onto him. you could hear his breathing change and felt one of his hands trail to the top of one of your thighs. You leaned your head back onto his shoulder and then you felt his teeth latch onto your earlobe and gently bite down.

“Mmm.”

“You like that?” His voice was crazy deep and it opened the door of your desire. That was all it took.

“Tell me.” It was an order and one you had no problem obeying.

“Yes.” Chris kissed then sucked the sensitive part of your neck and began swaying with you keeping up with the pace you set. You couldn’t believe that you were horny in this club from nothing but his voice and a kiss to the neck.

Chris’ hand snaked around to your backside but slid down to the back of your thigh. He slowly felt your skin and just as he was about to kiss your neck again the song changed. You could have shot the DJ for it, but when you realized what song he’d changed it to you could have kissed him. 🎵You turned to Chris and draped your arms around his neck. In the same breath, he pulled you on him. The two of you swayed together and kept to the beat. With your forehead just below his nose, you kept your eyes down and focused on the words of the song and how quickly you were fell under his spell.

Chris’ hands on your lower back squeezed the skin there before he moved them to your hips to squeeze again. A soft groan escaped your lips, a groan you know he heard. Chancing a look at him, you found his eyes already on you. the temptation between you reached an almost critical level. Chris took your hands and spun you, so your back was to his chest. You took the opportunity to whine against him making sure to roll your hips slowly. When you heard him suck in a breath you smirked to yourself.

You dipped down just a little and let your ass do all the talking. You felt his undivided attention and from the quick glance you got of him from over your shoulder he knew just what you were doing. When you stood up to press your back against his chest Chris moved your hair to the side allowing you to feel his breath on your neck by your ear.

“Cause I'm searchin’ just to find a toppa top girl, and you lookin' fine. I love that shape and that design, gimme your body anytime. And I know you hear me clear, girl, you gotta know I got no fear. And you know I will be prepared if you give me your body anywhere.”

Your head snapped back to look at him, he had an amused grin on his face. “I may be white but I’m not vanilla.”

You laughed loud and shook your head and sunk back into him again only this time adding more of a belly dancing flare to it, Shakira was not the only one who could do it. When Chris’ hands rested at your pelvis every urge wanted you to grab his hand and put it where you wanted it. When you turned to him you could see he was struggling with his desires as well. The look on his face was masked but only just a little, you knew just what he wanted and you were going to tease the hell out of him before you gave it to him.

“C'mon now let’s go, where nobody knows. You and me alone, you and me together. Wanna feel it in my soul, baby take control. Love when you, oh, make it last forever,” you sang along while staring into his eyes.

There could have been the biggest fight going on around you but neither of you would have known it with how wrapped up with each other you were. Song after song played but the two of you only had eyes for one another and the bubble you were in only got smaller and smaller.

When you made it back to your house once the front door shut you were on him. You each peeled off your clothes and threw them around not caring where they landed. When they crashed into something the two of you giggled like drunk kids. Your lips and teeth clashed but neither of you cared you just giggled your way through the hall until Chris carried you up the stairs. He stumbled and lowered you to the steps and hovered over you. his lips kissed, licked and sucked a path down your exposed skin. When he got to your waist he didn’t stop instead he went to your core and placed a suctioned kiss right on your clit.

“Fuck!”

“Like that?��

“Mmm-hm.” Your pitch was high, and you sounded desperate, you didn’t care.

“God, you’re irresistible!”

Chris scooped you up and scurried up the remainder of the steps to your bedroom where he dropped you on the bed. You laughed while you bounced then sat up to help him undress. As he worked with kicking off his shoes, you busied yourself with peeling off his pants. Chris then took over and kicked them off and jumped onto you. Your laughter mingled together. Chris then slithered down your body to pull off your underwear and again he kissed your clit and went to work.

He didn’t take his time, his mission was to get you off and it was evident with how expertly he commanded your body to do what he wanted. After only a few minutes you felt your orgasm take over and you clamped his head between your thighs as you rode the wave. He easily pried them apart and pressed them to the bed. The strength he exhibited made you want him even more. You rolled onto him and kissed down his chest across his abs and went right for your prize.

As you were going to grab him his length spasmed and nudged you right on your nose. That cracked the two of you up and you both broke out in a fit of laughter especially when he apologized.

“He has a mind of his own.”

You couldn’t stop laughing. Eventually, you did though and wrapped your lips around him. His groan was deep and guttural. It made goosebumps scatter across your skin, you loved it. Slowly you bobbed your head up and down his need. Each time your lips wrapped around his tip he whimpered and grabbed the sheets beside him.

“Christ, your mouth feels incredible.”

You smirked and swirled your tongue around him. making him shiver.

“Does it? Do you like it?”

“So much,” he whispered, again you smirked.

“Do you want me to keep going?”

Chris quickly nodded his head with his jaw dropped. “Yes, please.”

Amusement filled you and you continued pleasing him. Everything you did had him grunting, moaning and bucking his hips up sending his full length further down your throat. Your moans joined his and soon his hands sunk into your hair and he began guiding your head. When you picked up the pace he angled his head back and grunted and sucked in a breath.

“Fuck Vixen. Slow—slow baby.”

The sound of the endearment made your heart flutter and had you speeding up rather than going slow. When his grunts turned to loud whimpers you pulled your head back and stared at him. When he looked to you, you smiled and crooked your finger to him.

“Come ‘ere.” Chris slid to the edge of the bed and kissed your stomach up to your breast and sucked a nipple before he kissed you with urgency. His hands squeezed the flesh of your ass and he pulled a moan from you before you turned and slowly sank down onto him.

“Aaah.” He sighed and held you there, so you didn’t move. You enjoyed the feel of him filling and stretching you to capacity. Slowly you whined your hips circling him. he bit your shoulder harshly then kissed it soothing the ache.

When you began bouncing on him you looked over your shoulder, locked eyes with him and enjoyed how helpless he looked. It made you feel powerful but you also couldn’t ignore how good he felt. After a few minutes, Chris began pumping up to meet each of your bounces sending him further inside of you.

“Fuck, yes Chris.”

That was all he needed to hold your hips where they were to plow into you setting a heart-racing pace. Your moans fell from you one after the other as did his. You were so close to losing your shit and he must have known it because when his fingers made contact with your clit you flung your head back and gave him full control.

“You feel so good, you make me feel so good,” Chris whispered. He then stood with you and pushed you onto the bed and angled your ass in the air then continued his thrusts. The new angle was all you needed for your release to break free. You screamed then felt his hand at the back of your neck holding tightly. Another orgasm washed over you even before the first finished.

“Mmm, come all over this dick Vix. Come for me.”

You hadn’t seen this man since Vegas, the man who got off on control and orders, the man who had a clear dominance kink, the man who had the power to make you come over seven times in one night. You gripped the sheets because you knew it was a matter of time before you came again. Chris’ hands wrapped around your hair and gently pulled as he slammed into you to the hilt. As expected you came again and clenched around him. Chris hovered over your back and kissed a path up to your shoulder then bit down.

“Mmm, God you’re gonna make me come.”

“Come for me,” you ordered.

“You want me to come?” His strokes slowed but the depth of which he reached increased. Your jaw dropped, words failed you as your toes curled and body shook with your fourth release of the night.

“I can’t hear you, Vix. Do—you—want—me—to—come?” With each word, he enunciated he slammed into you. By the time he slammed into you once more he ground against you sending his cock to touch every wall and involuntarily pull yet another orgasm from you.

“Shit! No! Fuck me.”

“No please?”

“Pretty please.” You felt his smile on your ear then he gave you just what you asked for—the pounding of your life.

Your screams echoed around the room and mingled with his loud grunts and groans. The room filled with the combined scent of your sex and it was a hedonistic scent, one that fueled the fire of desire between you. By the time Chris finally came, you were exhausted. You could barely move let alone keep your eyes open.

~~~~~~~~~

-Chris-

You were going to be the death of him. He’d buried himself so deep in you he’d made you come over and over. He should have been tired, but he wasn’t. He should have passed out after he came but he couldn’t. He had way too much going on in his head and his body wanted more of you. It had never been like this with anyone. He could easily control himself but with you that control was nonexistent. He didn’t even know what it felt like. You were his addiction, temptation, and relief.

Ten minutes after both of your breathing had returned to normal he knew he had to tell you. He took a deep breath but hesitated yet again. He was afraid, he knew that by now. He knew there was a fifty-fifty chance that you’d be upset and that you’d want to proceed with the divorce. He knew he could lose you—again. He didn’t want to, but he had to face the music.

“Vix.”

A soft moan rumbled on his chest. Closing his eyes, he began.

“I have a confession, a confession that I should have told you weeks ago. A confession that may come as a shock. First I have to tell you what a huge mistake I made three years ago. What I said to you—there is no excuse for it. I’m sorry. I know I’ve said it before, but I have to say it again. I’ve regretted it for years; I still regret it. I wanted to find you and went back and forth if I should or shouldn’t. I didn’t have the courage to find you really. I was so ashamed of myself and how I’d treated you, I was such an asshole. Uugh.”

He hit his head on the headboard and hated himself all over again. It was his words that had him missing the last three years. His words, his fault.

“Since finding you again I’ve—I’ve been reminded of the things I felt. The things I felt, I ignored and buried. I was not prepared for you or what I felt then. I ran from it and ended up right back there. I think about you—a hell of a lot, I dream about you. I want things with you I’ve never wanted with anyone else, I want things I didn’t know I wanted until you. You’re—you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I really, really—like you. You have no idea how much. I want to start fresh, I want to build a life, a new one. A few weeks ago, I found out that there was a mix up with the original divorce papers we signed. Sherman—Sherman went through a personal ordeal and the paperwork got lost and was never filed. We’re still married.”

He waited for you to say something but when you didn’t he continued. “I know it’s a shock and probably an unwelcomed one, but maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. Maybe it’s a sign that we shouldn’t be divorced, that we’re supposed to be in each other’s lives. Maybe what God intended three years ago was to bring us together and he’s not letting either of us off the hook.”

Still, you didn’t speak.

“Vixen?” He glanced down at you and saw you were fast asleep.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” He dropped his head back and closed his eyes in disbelief he’d gone through all of it only for you not to hear him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@airis-paris14 @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-inspired @theunsweetenedtruth @ashanti-notthesinger @reignsxjackson @halfrican-heat @ambthegamer @simplyyamberr @muse-of-mbaku @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @maliadestiny @drsunshine97 @blowmymbackout @purplehairgawdess @thehuntoyobun @wakandamama @wakandawinning @profilia @zxddy-panther @h-challa @babygirlofwakanda @misswakanda2018 @ororowrites@hutchj @myfavemarvelfanfics @lavitabella87 @afraiddreamingandloving @autumn242 @purple-apricots @skysynclair19 @hersheyskissesss-blog @blue-ishx @90sinspiredgirl @tchallaswife @tchallamakesmeh0lla @turn-thy-paige @blackchickfics @blackpantherismyish @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @naturally-bri @flawlesslybeautiful14 @qweentbh@lunaerly @theoutereffect@twilight-sapphire-lover @pupyluv247 @stark-red19 @cockyboysandsugarism@maverickabull @madbadsiren @aykanna @myaw731 @ruruly20 @mixedmelanin @brittyevans @bezzywazhere@laketaj24 @soulsparker @theresnomoregoodones @syreanne@loveandcigarillos @heyauntieeee @heybriheyyy @wakanda-bcth @uhlxis @maliadestiny @dadinhas-heat @yaachtynoboat711 @geeksareunique @bultalongthewayside @ajspencer1892 @captiansaveasmut @imaginewhoever @terrablaze514 @starsshines-blog @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @darkandlovely94 @sithlordslut @wavyyc @naturalistamisslyn @nigarachi15 @madamslayyy @blackandfair @kreolemami @mylastnameisthe-fish @kaykay0829@chaneajoyyy @tequilajay27 @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @slimmiyagi @im5ftbutmythroat66 @jaeee-http@madhatterhelsing @sunflowerpsalms @wakanda-shit-is-that @deliciousstreetkidcroissant @jecourt @vebner37 @disneysdarlingdiva @melaninmarvel @alanastormborn@dolphinpink310 @yourwonderbelle @ohleucothea @queentearra @bitchbetterhavemydinner @fentybabyy @kaykay4454fan @priya212 @kitkit1690 @chrismarcs @beautycomesindifferentformsworld @blackpantherimagines @ovohanna24 @sweetpeachjones @kslo000 @nubian-queen18 @omgsuperstarg @airis-paris14 @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @drsunshine97 @blue-ishx @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @prettyprincessushio @treeondrea @ursapharoh05 @blackpinup22 @kaytauru @big3gocandykahn @kissingpineapples @wildaboutchrisevans @fitfineandstayingalive @misspooh @michele-onel @gorjiss @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @muva-milaje @limbo-limbo-limbo @awkwardlyabstract @blxck-brxndie @meeky-imagines @inlovewith3 @metalarmlover @mellowjellow6 @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @ursapharoh05 @treeondrea @ovohanna24 @marvelheaux @romanceoftheeveryday @mufasathatniggatho @cltex84 @sweetbearcolorgarden @msincognito67 @mosagram @lunaerly @mar-ta-3 @ljstraightnochaser @lewatigress @akimi-youngblood @bekahdean87 @jasmindaughteroftheworld @cocooned-butterfly @emoniclark22 @chereedrop619 @theblulife @niggarachi15 @drsunshine97 @msincognito67 @missdeerstalker15 @wakandamama @avenger-marvel-fan @arieljamiyla @vibranium-soul @monae-boss @queenxchallaxkillamonger@amirra88 @jaeee-http @omg-itsnadi @fonville-designs @sydneebleu @cherrystainedlipsbaby @behindthesehazeleyes27 @areubeingserved @kelbabyblue @academic-glowup @patzammit @yourwonderbelle @pennywisesmistress @squeackygee @noramushrooms @titty-teetee @ab-baybay @kreolemami @impossiblegiantrebelbasketball @dangerouslovefanfic @heladoom @renesmeeharelds @zaddysqueen7 @alyxkbrl @hello-therree @taylorveebee @a-dizzle777 @deidrashouseofpain @coldmuffinbanditshoe @evemej @chaselovinggert @ben-wyxtt @designerwriterchic @chrisgalore @jennmurawski13 @rynabarnesrogers @yunggyeezyy @kemkem101 @dearkyrainez @minton131@momobaby227 @jesseswartzwelder @briellableu

#love maybe fic #chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #Chris Evans X black reader #chris evans smut #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic #black fanfiction

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sope-and-shine · 4 years

Text

SONG RECS

@btsaudge I have so many songs it’s a problem!

I’ve Got You Under My Skin by Ella Fitzgerald // This is a jazz song that I just love listening to! It makes me think of my lover from war that I want to dance with and hold close. It’s upbeat, but it still makes you soft. One of those. I wanna learn to swing because of songs like this.

Days With You by The Asterisks // This is a song that feels like someone is singing it to you. Like-I found the singer on TikTok and the guy was like “please give it a chance”😭 and i was like “BET”😤 and then I fell in love and downloaded the entire album. Lazy Sunday Morning/Late Friday Night Mood Music.

Why Do You Love Me by Charlotte Lawrence // This song gives edge. Feeling petty? Angsty? You don’t know how you feel? It’s perfect! This is a song that my brain just relaxes to for some strange reason. Maybe it’s just a mood, but hey, what isn’t?

ANY SONG BY AJR // They make all of their music from scratch in their living room. They have a trumpet player who plays live...must I really say MORE?! They cover the same topics as BTS(depression, politics, love, etc.) and in their concerts they have the C R A Z I E S T visuals! No joke! They had light up tracksuits at a concert I went to! They’re also really funny and very talented.

Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood // I’ve always been a huge Carrie Underwood fan, but this song... *chef’s kiss* G O R G E O U S. The beat is nice and gives me the confidence of a toddler wearing lipstick and heels. It just scrams men are trash, but it also points out all of my flaws when it comes to falling for boys.(although, now that I’m writing this, it makes me think of a fic based around this where one of the boys is the cowboy👀...don’t tell Belle!)

Thinkin’ Bout You by Ciara // This is a song that you strut down the halls with. But its also the song that reminds me of a movie montage where the teenage protagonist is falling in love with her love interest. You feel me? This song 12/10 makes me feel lovesick.

I’ll Try by Day6 // Oh...this song. It’s so soft. So perfect. So peaceful. I love this song for it’s musicality and it’s gorgeous harmonies. The instrumental is done so well - but that’s to be expected when they’re a band lol - I’d listen to this song for the rest of my life whether I was forced to or not.

Can I Call You Tonight by Dayglow // THIS SONG. This is the song that you’d hear in a movie during the emotional moving scene or where the protagonist is moving on. This is a road trip song BABY! Windows down and head resting on hands watching the world pass by. THAT kind of vibe.

Mi Gente by J Balvin and Willy William // My cousin showed me this song and I just love it to bits. It’s one of those songs that makes you want to dance and just puts you in a good mood. Like, invite the bros over and crack open a cold one it’s going to be a good night bois.

Fallin’ by Kim Feel // Oh. My. GOD. This song is just like I’ll Try. It’s so beautiful and it makes me feel so calm and serene and I just wanna listen to it forever. It’s just such a good song and the harmonies are beautiful and perfect and everything is just- WHAT ARE WORDS?!?!?

Sad Forever by Lauv // This song hit close to home. It’s a song that’s kind of upbeat when you listen to it, but you hear the lyrics and you’re like “big mood” But that’s what makes the upbeat feel make it even better because it’s kinda like a fight song but laid back. It puts confidence on my wavelength and I feel more comfortable being me and accepting the world for what it is.

Moonchild by M83 // This song is a cinemtic piece of genius. It needs to be in a movie or a show, because it is perfect for that. But it’s also a really good writing song for angst scenes or hardcore scenes and you need to set a tone. I love the instrumental of this song so much.

Welcome To My Playground by NCT 127 // This song doesn’t get enough L O V E. It has such a nice upbeat tune to it and it just makes you want to dance. It’s so happy and carefree and it’s honestly a BOP!

Walk You Home by NCT DREAM // THIS SONG IS ALSO SLEPT ON AND DESERVES ALL OF THE LOVE! So pure. So cute. It is precious and I love it.

Wait For It by The Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton // This song is a little deeper than some people will give it credit for. It kinda puts a lot of things into perspective when you break down into the lyrics. That, and like a lot of the other songs, I’m a sucker for the instrumental and the harmonies.

I’m Not A Loser by The Original Cast of Spongebob The Musical // Now hear me out on this one- This song is actually a show stopper and easily one of the best songs of the entire show with the best dance number as well! This song hits deeper than it should for being directed towards kids, but what isn’t? Just- Give it a chance, I beg you.

Stay by PENTAGON(vocal unit) // Another song with AMAZING vocals and G O R G E O U S harmonies😍 Honestly, I can’t believe some of these people are human with how gorgeous these vocals are.

Lost In Japan by Shawn Mendes // This song makes me want a love so bad! To experience what is expressed in this song? I’m jealous. Honestly, this is a feel good song with the cutest intentions. I love this song so much.

Alright, I will leave these here.

Much longer than this probably should’ve been, but I gotta fight for my babies 😤 Hope you - and whoever else reads this - enjoy at least one of them!

~ Fae

#fae recs #song rec #mootie moots <3 #AJR #musicals #hamilton #pentagon #day6 #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #kim feel #music rec

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all-hail-the-witcher · 5 years

Text

one expensive can of easy cheese

crack head hours my kids

also inspired by a hot guy i saw at walgreens today

the walgreens chaos returns

______

ship: ralbert

genre: crackhead angst

words: who knows, not super long

warnings: mentions of a twine kink, easy cheese, concussions, walgreens, race thinks another guy is hot, uhhh, hot men in scrubs, minor bits of violence, new yorkers been new yorkers, albert is a dumbass, race is more of a dumbass

editing: nah

_____

Race was sat on top of the counter in his and Albert’s apartment, a piece of duct tape over his mouth and his hands tied together with kitchen twine. He sighed against his restraints, resigned to watch his boyfriend make their contribution to this year’s Thanksgiving gathering: mac and cheese.

Now, of course everyone and their mother knew that mac and cheese was not a Traditional Thanksgiving Food. But, Albert had won (best out of three) mario kart yesterday so he had gotten to decide what they would bring to Jack’s house. Had Race known that he had been planning to make mac and fucking cheese, maybe he would have tried a little harder.

Apparently, Albert was not pleased with Race’s reaction to his decision to make mac and cheese, and thought that Race might try to get in the way somehow (which he may or may not have fully intended to do). So he did what any loving boyfriend would: sat him on the counter, put duct tape over his mouth and tied his hands together so he wouldn’t interfere.

Race was beginning to wonder why he had agreed to move in with Albert in the first place.

With a violent shake of his head and one final spat, he was able to dislodge the duct tape.

“Albieeeeee,” he whined, laying down on the counter. “Can you pleaaaaaaaseee let me helllllllllp?”

Albert barely glanced up as he pulled the big wooden spoon out of the pot and gave it a thoughtful lick. “Hmmmmmmm. No.”

“But-!” He wriggled around to give Albert his best puppy dog eyes. “Can I make something else then? Ple-OW!” He glared at the spatula that had been hurled at his arm. “You apologize for that!”

“Nah.” He smirked and went back to stirring his wretched pasta. Well, actually Albert’s mac and cheese was quite good. Race was just salty that he was making it for Thanksgiving when it was very well known that he was the chef of the two and Jack was expecting something good not the mac and cheese Albert famously made at 2am in college when they were all high as hell.

“Can you at least untie me then?”

“No.” Albert even bother considering this time.

“Well.” If logic wasn't going to work on Albert he would have to try another method. “I know you know how to make a guy feel good Albie, but I never expected ropes to be a part of it. What’s next? Handcuffs? Whips? Chains?”

In two seconds flat Race was out of his kitchen twine bonds and flexing his sore wrists.

“Man Albie, who knew you had a twine kink.”

“You know,” Albert began loudly, as if thinking that his loudness would cover up his totally obvious twine kink, “if you want to do something that's actually useful, you could go to Walgreens and buy me another can of Easy Cheese.”

“Is that what you put in your fuckin mac and cheese?” Race swore he actually felt bile rise in the back of his throat when Albert nodded. “That’s it. I’m never eating your mac and cheese again.”

“But-!”

“I’ll eat you though,” Race winked, taking a moment to enjoy the startled, yet somehow pleased look on his boyfriend’s face.

“Not until after we’re done at Jack’s.” Albert said only half jokingly as he dug around in his pocket for a second before throwing a crumpled five at Race. “In the meantime though, be gone thot!”

Race barely managed to catch the bill without falling on the floor, but still blew a kiss to Albert before walking out of the apartment.

Who the fuck puts easy cheese in mac and cheese? He wondered for the millionth time as he stomped the three blocks to Walgreens. Albert claimed that he had chosen his apartment for its proximity to the store, but up until today Race had always assumed that he had been joking. The man did make a lot of mac and cheese and if Easy Cheese was an ingredient well….maybe there was some truth to that story after all.

Race pulled open the door to the Walgreens, pausing briefly to wonder why the absolute fuck it was open on literal Thanksgiving before remembering that it was a fucking Walgreens and why wouldn’t it be open to sell his dumbass boyfriend a can of fucking Easy Cheese.

In order to get to the Easy Cheese, or at least he assumed so because he had never bought a can of Easy Cheese in his whole glorious 25 years of life, Race had to walk past the Pharmacy section of the store. And, it just so happened that there was a guy sitting behind the counter at the Pharmacy. A very attractive guy. With a beard. In scrubs.

Now, of course Race loved Albert and nothing would ever change that, but he could appreciate an attractive man when he saw one. He thanked whatever deity was out there for the bit of man candy that he had been granted and went in search of his Easy Cheese.

“Mac and cheese, velveta cheese, microwaveable mac and cheese, where the fuck is the- oh thank fuck there we go.” He pulled a can of Easy Cheese off of the shelf, tossing it once and catching it before turning to go pay for the horrendous product, happy to finally be done with the whole ordeal when-

“Easy cheese? Really?”

Race whirled around to see Mr. Man Candy himself leaning against the opposite shelf. “Wh- who?”

“Oh,” he dusted his hand off on his scrubbs, “allow me to introduce myself. My name is Brett O’Hare. And you, sir, are a disgrace to society. The very reason why so many Americans are in poor health in this day and age.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The Easy Cheese!” Brett gestured wildly toward the can in Race’s hand. “Gosh do you even know how many preservatives are in that stuff? And all the cancers that it can cause? It’s terrible. We wouldn’t need free healthcare if people just stopped eating Easy Cheese!”

Race had lived in New York City his whole life, and he had seen some pretty strange things, but never had he seen a pharmacist in a Walgreens lecture anyone about the health benefits of Easy Cheese.

“So let me get this straight,” Race rubbed his head, trying to make sense of the situation. “You go around yelling at people about the ingredients in the things that they are purchasing?”

“Yeah.”

“You do realize that this is a Walgreens, right? Everything in here probably contains some kind of chemical.” New Yorkers never ceased to amaze him.

“All the more reason for me to inform them of their poor eating habits!” Brett pointed a finger at him. “And stop distracting me! You’re the one buying the freaking easy cheese here!”

“It’s not even for me!” Race shouted back. “It’s for my boyfriend’s fucking mac and cheese that he insisted on making for Thanksgiving even though everyone knows that mac and cheese is not a fucking Thanksgiving food and he’s only making it cause he knocked me off the goddamn rainbow road right before the fucking finish line!” Race was fuming but the time that he was done.

“Oh, man I’m so sorry, that's lousy.”

Race looked surprised. Of all the things that he thought he would get out of this Walgreens experience, a therapy session was indeed not on the list. But neither had been hearing a lecture about the preservatives in Easy Cheese from a pharmacist.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still buying Easy Cheese!” Between one second and the next, Brett had grabbed the can of Easy Cheese out of Race’s hand, wielding it like a brick. “Buy some fucking vegetables!”

And with that, he struck Race over the head with the can of Easy Cheese.

Now, Race had definitely done some questionable things during his life. Once he had slept on the roof of his dorm building in January for a week because he lost his dorm key, and another time he had been tricked into making an entire wedding cake using salt. However, being smacked over the head with a can of Easy Cheese by a health nut in scrubs on Thanksgiving put any and all other situations he had been in to shame.

He opened his eyes, suddenly blinded by the lights, and reached for his phone, muttering curses about man candy and vegetables. Squinting so he didn’t have to look at the screen, he somehow managed to dial Albert.

“Racetrack Higgins, where is my Easy Cheese?”

Race pulled the phone away from his ear and winced at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. “Um, it may have been used to give me a concussion by a health nut in scrubs?”

Albert let out a loud sigh. “Ah man, did you run into Brett? That guy’s the worst.”

“Wait, you know him?”

“Race, I know every Walgreens employee in Manhattan, of course I know Brett.” There was the jangling of keys in the background. “I thought I told you to go to the one on 4th for this reason, ah, well. I’m on my way. I’ll take you to urgent care. Hang tight.”

Race’s head hurt too much to process what Albert had said except for the words ‘I’m on my way.’ “Okay,” he sighed.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Race’s eyes focused on the dented can of Easy Cheese rolling on the floor. “And Al?”

“Yeah?”

“This is going to be one expensive can of Easy Cheese.”

______

that was a ride

feedback is always appreciated hmm if you wanna be on the tag list

tag list

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#saphie scribbles #newsies #newsies fic #ralbert #racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #walgreens au #i hate my branding thanks #this actually came out good #im surprises #happy thanksgiving my kids

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waterlilyvioletfog · 5 years

Text

Top 3 Supernatural Episodes Per Season

Warning: Spoilers below the cut. I am SUPER biased. Take everything I say with a HEALTHY grain of salt.

Season 1: omg they look like INFANTS

1. “Home” 1x09. This episode is amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing AND it’s super important to the mytharch AND we get Winchester family drama. One of those early instances of “Wow we need to give Jensen Ackles an emmy like yesterday”. Mary turns up and foreshadows like??? so much??

2. “Scarecrow” 1x11. Super creepy, major “The Lottery” vibes, fuck I just. I love it.

3. “Hell House” 1x17. Close call between this one and “Something Wicked” but in the end, Harry and Ed and all the hilarity that ensues just. *chef’s kiss*

Honorable Mentions: “Something Wicked”

Season 2: ugh so many good episodes season 2 is SO good

1. “The Usual Suspects” 2x07. SAM GETS TO BE SO SNARKY IN THIS EPISODE AND I LOOOOVE IT. Also Diana is a bamf.

2. “Croatoan” 1x09. UGH YASSSSSSS. Close call between this and “In My Time Of Dying”, though

3. “What is And What Should Never Be” 2x20. Look man, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m cheap as all get out. Dean angst? Gimme gimme. Also it has WYNONNA EARP IN IT.

Honorable Mentions: “In My Time of Dying”, “Nightshifter”

Season 3: half of these episodes suck, the other half are perfect heeeelllppp

1. “Bad Day At Black Rock” 3x03. This episode it just hilarious from start to finish. Also, Bela vs. Dean.

2. “Mystery Spot” 3x11. A double whammy of HILARIOUS and OH FUCK THIS IS DEPRESSING.

3. “Jus In Bello” 3x12. It was real hard to decide between this and Ghostfacers but ultimately, Nancy Fitzgerald (aka Ella Lopez) and Victor Henrikson are the actual best and deserve all the love ever.

Honorable Mentions: “Ghostfacers”, “The Kids Are Alright”

Season 4: Somehow there is only one episode that is not stunningly amazing??

1: “On the Head of A Pin” 4x16. Cas becomes a main character and it is AMAZING and oh my god give Jensen ALL the emmys oh and ALSO we finally learn exactly what Sam and Ruby’s “extracurricular activities” entail. Feels like a movie. We get the reveal that the angels are working to break the seals. Anna is also amazing. Why is this episode so beautiful. I’m fucking crying and so is Dean. I could gush for hours.

2. “It’s a Terrible Life” 4x17. This episode is just a fucking delight. (Am I giving it such a high score on the basis of The Kink’s “Well Respected Man” alone? Maybe. Honestly I SHOULD be putting Rapture here but oh well. I’m biased.)

3. “Monster Movie” 4x05. It was hard to decide between this “In the Beginning” “Lazarus Rising” “The Rapture” and “Lucifer Rising” (which all deserve all the praise ever) but ugh ugh ugh this episode is ALSO perfect AND I love it a bajillion. It’s in black and white and the guest actress is SO pretty and also I think I’ve already gone into detail about how the MoTW is a Lucifer Parallel. Also Dean says he’s been rehymenated so TRANS!DEAN RIGHTS!

Honorable Mentions: “In The Beginning” “Lazarus Rising” “Lucifer Rising” “The Rapture”

Season 5: You want to be sad? You also want to watch really good TV? SEASON FIVE IS WHERE IT’S AT!

1. “Two Minutes To Midnight” 5x21. I know, I know. I should be putting “Swan Song” here but look,, I am easily bought with the promise of Julian Richings as Death.

2. “Free To Be You And Me” 5x03. Funny Destiel buddy cop film, Sam gets to be filtered through the eyes of an audience-stand-in in universe, also contains Castiel’s ICONIC line “but today you’re MY little bitch”.

3. “Dark Side of The Moon” 5x16. Narrowly beats out “My Bloody Valentine”, “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid”, and “The Song Remains The Same”. I am trash for any pieces of Sam and Dean’s childhoods and also this episode gives me SO MUCH material for beating up John with a baseball bat.

Honorable Mentions: “Swan Song” “My Bloody Valentine” “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid” “The Song Remains The Same” “The End”

Season 6: We Don’t Talk About Season Six.

1. “The Man Who Would Be King” 6x20. Cas. Destiel. Ow.

2. “Mommy Dearest” 6x19. Eve! Sam Smith! idk, I just really like it.

3. “Appointment In Samarra” 6x11. As I said, I am easily bought with Julian Richings. Tessa the Reaper!!! Sam stop trying to murder your father.

Honorable Mentions: “You Can’t Handle The Truth” “My Heart Will Go On” “Weekend At Bobby’s”

Season 7: Terrible reputation given the fact that it has SO many great episodes. Sera Gamble? You’re mean.

1. “Slash Fiction” 7x06. Why is this episode so hilarious???? Robbie Thompson starting out with a BANG!

2. “Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magical Menagerie” 7x14. In the total goop of “thick. black. ooze.” of this season, 7x14 is a light in the darkness. Every inkling of joy, of spark, of color, of childishness, all of it, poured out into this one episode, wherein Sam totally loses his cool and I love it. Sam looks so pretty at the end. Dean is simultaneously an actual child and an actual Dad and I love it.

3. “Out With The Old” 7x16. I love me some levis, man, don’t know what to tell you. It’s just so fun!!

Honorable Mentions: All of Robbie’s episodes, “Hello, Cruel World” “Repo Man” “Reading Is Fundamental” “How To Win Friends And Influence Monsters”

(The ONLY reason I’m not including TBAI is bc @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs is slowly converting me to hating Megstiel enough to not watch Destiel episodes)

Season 8: That one season where we admitted that Crowley’s a DICK.

1. “Hunteri Heroici” 8x08. CAAAAS!!! Also the only episode where anyone watching actually gives a shit about the Sam x Amelia flashbacks.

2. “LARP And The Real Girl” 8x11. Super fun! CHARLIE RETURNS. Dean is a FUCKING NERD. Sam gets flirted with :) Real close tie between this one and Pac-Man Fever

3. “The Great Escapist” 8x20. Edlund really gave it his all for this last episode. Cas kicks SO much ass. Sam needs to be protected at ALL costs. Kevin ALSO kicks SO much ass. The actor who plays Sweet Pea on Riverdale is here??? Wow.

Honorable Mentions: “Pac-Man Fever” “As Time Goes By” “Everyone Hates Hitler” “Trial And Error”

(See note on The Born-Again Identity for why Goodbye Stranger is not on this list. Again, blame @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs )

Season 9: Sam is mad at Dean for not letting him go

1. “First Born” 9x11. No, I will not elaborate. Tim Omundson speaks for himself. There is nothing wrong with this entire episode and if you try to tell me there is I can and will gut you like a fish.

2. “Heaven Can’t Wait” 9x06. DESTIELLLLLLLLLLLL.

3. “Do You Believe In Miracles?” 9x23. Wow it’s the first Season Finale to make it to my top 3!! Metatron gets what’s coming, DEAN BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON.

Honorable Mentions: “Bad Boys” “Mother’s Little Helper” “Alex Annie Alexis Ann” “Meta Fiction”

Season 10: Dean is mad at Sam for not letting him go

1. “The Executioner’s Song” 10x14. See my comments on “First Born”.

2. “Angel Heart” 10x20. BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY. DESTIEL. JIMMY X AMELIA. COOL UNCLE SAMMY. DEAN IS A NERD. DEAN IS CLAIRE’S DAD NOW SORRY NO TAKE BACKS. (also, “blue eyes crying” is just ugh ugh ugh)

3. “The Werther Project” 10x18. SAMWITCH RISE!!!!!!!!!!!

Honorable Mentions: “Hibbing 911″ “The Prisoner” “The Things We Left Behind”

Season 11: Ahh, yes. You. Lucifer. Get fucked.

1. “Don’t Call Me Shurley” 11x20. *slow clap* Robbie Thompson, you have served your country well.

2. “Red Meat” 11x17. This is gonna sound strange, but this episode is sorta my comfort food?? I’ve watched it literally so many times. I love it. So much.

3. “The Chitters” 11x19. Nancy Won wrote three episodes for SPN, all in season 11, they are all stellar. Chitters is GAY. She also wrote “Don’t You Forget About Me” and “Thin Lizzie” I’m putting them here so as not to crowd up the Honorable Mentions.

Honorable Mentions: “The Vessel” “Devil In the Details” “We Happy Few” “Baby” “Form And Void” “Into the Mystic” honestly just watch every non-bucklemming episode they are pretty much all amazing.

Season 12: I WILL DEFEND MARY WITH MY LIFE DON’T @ ME

1. “The Future” 12x19. DESTIEL. I would die for Kelly. Fetus!Jack. GOODBYE DAGON!! THE MIXTAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. “Who We Are” 12x22. JUST KILL ME WHY DON’T YOU, BOBO?! WE ALL KNOW YOU WANT TO.

3. “Stuck In the Middle (With You)” 12x12. Destiel love confession!!!!!! Drowley!! Mary will fight everyone willingly!! SAM GETS THE ORANGE JACKET

Honorable Mentions: Every. Single. Non-BL. Episode. Watch. Them. Now.

Season 13: JAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!

1. “Advanced Thanatology” 13x05. *inhales deeply* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Also, Steppenwolf.

2. “Beat the Devil” 13x21. DICK JOKES GALORE. Also, we must protect Sam at all costs. Gabena is perfect. Samwitch is also perfect. Sabriel is also good. Lucifer can go fuck himself.

3. “Breakdown” 13x11. It physically pains me not to put “Funeralia” here but alas, I must not show Steve Yockey too much favoritism. Anyways. DONNA!!! DOUG!! CREEPY!!! SAM’S HEART IS WORTH SO MUCH MONEY!! GIVE SAMMY A HUG!!

Honorable Mentions: “The Scorpion And The Frog” “Funeralia” “The Thing” “The Bad Place” “The Big Empty” “Lost And Found”

Season 14:

1. “Moriah” 14x20. Proof that Supernatural will go down in history as ALMIGHTY. GOD IS THE ULTIMATE VILLAIN.

2. “Peace of Mind” 14x15. I still haven’t recovered. Jared must have had literally all the fun in the world.

3. “Mint Condition” 14x04. Yay!! Very fun!!! (I wanted to put Optimism here, but again, I can’t show Yockey so much favoritism. It’s not my fault! he’s too good!!)

Honorable Mentions: “Optimism” “Ouroboros” “Unhuman Nature” “Byzantium” “Damaged Goods”

#spn #too many episodes to tag #supernatural #rankings

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bottle-of-smoke · 5 years

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@pineapplecrushface tagged me into listing the top 10 songs on my mind right now, so I get to show you all how my music taste hasn’t moved on since the early noughties and also that EVERYTHING is about fandom atm.

1. Tainted Love – Soft Cell, and Teenage Dirtbag – Wheatus

One in and already cheating. I’m justifying this because they’re both here for the same reason. Avril Lavigne not on the list even though Sk8er Boi has been in my head almost as much. This is out of respect to my fifteen year old self who despised her due to being a snob, and also my almost-33 year old self who still cannot tolerate the line “he was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious?” because err, yeah you can, Avril, actually. JFC.

2. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me – The Smiths

The Smiths are the soundtrack to both my little personhood but also my adolescence, and sometimes that adolescent needs to be taken out for a walk. DRAMA. ANGST. You can’t do any better than this.

3. When It’s Cold I’d Like To Die – Moby

I have no idea why because it’s not an especially angsty fic, but I absolutely hammered this one when I was writing A Taste of Salt. Whyyy?

4. Broken Pieces – Echoberyl

You know when you want to listen to something where the bass notes physically hurt your ears? This is one of those.

5. The Bad Touch – The Bloodhound Gang

This was the other song I hammered while writing A Taste of Salt. Could not be any more different. Once upon a time I’d have been ashamed about this. Now I’m old and couldn’t care less.

6. Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered – Ella Fitzgerald

This is SUCH a Richie song if you ignore the whole last verse where she gets over it (which would never happen). Lines that stick out: “Men are not a new sensation/I’ve done pretty well I think/But this half-pint imitation/Put me on the blink” and “I’ll sing to him/Each spring to him/And worship the trousers that cling to him”. And, like, all the rest, because the lyrics to this song are perfect.

7. Zombie – The Cranberries

Angry Nineties Woman Songs are pretty much my favourite genre. There’s usually one or two knocking about and this is the current one.

8. Oliver’s Army – Elvis Costello

Because one song about the Troubles wasn’t enough, let’s have another. This is an old, old favourite and reappears a lot. Addictive to singalong to which is always good and a lyrical chef’s kiss. It’s been on my mind again since watching Generation Kill and thinking about the premise of this song, which is about the socioeconomic elements of war and how they “always get a working class boy to do the killing.”

9. Whispering Grass (Don’t Tell the Trees) – The Ink Spots

I visited a WWII museum (actually an ex-POW camp) a few weeks ago and they played this in the cinema bar. I’ve always liked it but sitting in a room purposely designed to look like the 1940s made it hit differently. It’s so sinister??

10. Heat – Far Cry 3 OST

An instrumental, which doesn’t really count as a song so I can get away with including two songs in no. 1. I listen to soundtracks as much as anything else these days. This popped up on my starred Spotify playlist a few weeks ago and I was like ??? I’m not the gamer in my household, so I must have overheard this a few years ago when my BF was playing Far Cry 3. Anyway it’s v. dramatic and proper mint like.

I don’t tag but if you read this, consider yourself tagged. Always like this sort of thing.

#i enjoyed this #maybe because i'm supposed to be reading up on westgard rules which LMAO NOPE #music #songs

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royallyprincesslilly · 5 years

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Title: Love, Maybe? {42}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Heavy Angst

Word Count: 4.7K

NOTE: **Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Loosley Edited/Proofread**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 42: Down With The Ship

-Vixen-

Thanks to how close opening night was you were busier than ever making sure things were perfect. You checked, double-checked and even triple checked everything, décor, menu, staff, vendors, setting, everything. You left nothing untouched by your meticulous eye and obsessive-compulsive attention. This meant you ate, slept and breathed your restaurant. You were up before sunrise out after breakfast with Ella, gone all day and not back until just before midnight. It was exhausting and you missed spending time with Ella but you were grateful for the distraction.

Before you knew it two weeks had passed since your life imploded. Two weeks since the story of the decade broke. For those two weeks, you were hounded by paparazzi almost everywhere. You were now on their radar and they were learning your moves. You had to be extra careful not to lead them back home to Ella. When Ella went anywhere it was usually with Nexus who was more than happy to play mom. She said it was great practice which made you think that things with Anthony were getting even more serious.

For the two weeks Chris called, but you ignored every one of them. What began as four or five calls a day dwindled to two then one. You still didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. You had way too much going on and you didn’t want to add to your plate. You took a meeting with Charmaine St. John to hear all she had to say then abruptly told her you didn’t want anything from him when she eluded you could get a “nice cut.”

She looked shocked at that. Then when you went on to say you weren’t going to proceed with taking half of everything she almost fell out of her seat. It was clear she was used to dealing with jilted Hollywood wives who felt entitled no matter what and wanted to go down fighting. That wasn’t you. You just wanted peace and quiet. She prepared the paperwork and faxed it to you. It was paperwork you still held on to.

Ella’s inquiries about Chris increased. What was once or twice a day turned into three or four or even five. The numerous facetime calls you’d orchestrated between Ella and Chris didn’t even seem to have mattered. Every time Nex told you it broke you. This was the reason you were apprehensive to involve him in the first place; this was why you worked as hard as you did to keep everything strictly platonic and complication free. For all the work you attempted you’d ended up right where you didn’t want to be.

You heard the bell chime from your phone and checked it to find an email from Kassius. He’d sent the contract proposal from Food Network a few days ago for you to review and go over with your lawyer. When you did it was revealed that they were being very generous, more generous than you suspected they had been to other no-name chefs.

According to Charmaine, they were offering an eighteen months contract for production of a cooking show with a twist that was creatively left up to you. Within the eighteen-month period, there were to be four episodes filmed a month, with smaller recordings they hoped to push for YouTube, and an extension review to be done at the end of the contract period. When it came down to money you were shocked by how many figures you saw. Charmaine told you it was very generous, but you should definitely leap on it.

You were apprehensive because it was rare for them to offer this kind of money to some no-name chef. You suspected and worried that they were showing the “kindness” of their hearts because of everything that was going on and your newly ousted status as Chris Evans’ wife and baby mama. You suspected they wanted to capitalize on it, either way, it was a win/win for them.

“What’s got you so far away?” Your mother approached and sat across from you. You sighed and shook your head.

“Remember that deal with Food Network?”

“Yes, we are all still incredibly proud of you, honey. My god, all your years of work, sleepless nights. I know it has been hard, harder than you let on and I am over the moon for your successes.” You felt the prick of tears. You knew she loved you, you knew she always had your best interest at heart, but this was so nice to hear her praise you rather than berate you for not having a boyfriend let alone a husband.

“Thanks, mom.” Her smile was warm, as was her hand that rested atop yours.

“The contract they sent over is—impressive. There is trying to woo someone to join you and then there is going all out. This is all out,” you explained.

“That’s good, right? So, what’s wrong?”

“I feel like it’s because I’m now linked to him. I feel like they’re willing to offer these things, this amount of money not because I’m me but because I’m close to him.”

“I’m going to stop you right there Vixen. You are my daughter, you are smart, talented, willful, ambitious, strong and such a force to be reckoned with. You know everything and if you don’t you fake it till you make it. You have no idea how talented you really are. I do not doubt for a second that the reason you are seeing the fruits of your tireless labor now is because of that talent, ambition and grueling desire to make an amazing life for your family and Ella.” Your tears rolled down your face of their own accord.

“Vixen, you are a star, that is the reason why your father and I gave you that name. Vixen to the American definition is fierce, fiery-tempered, and it was true. You cried twenty times louder and longer than any of the other babies, you were stubborn, quick to anger, and that temper ooh, it was hot but were you adorable.” She smiled bright which prompted your smile. You sniffled and dried your tears but they kept flowing.

“Vixen also means female fox. You know I believe in every culture and take pieces where I feel a connection. Guess you can call it my way of keeping in touch with my gypsy spirit, something I think you inherited more so than Nexus. This beautiful free spirit that loathes being tied down, loathes being boxed in and caged like a gilded bird. You want to be free, so you keep running for that freedom. In Japanese culture, there is a creature called Kitsune, a powerful mythical creature with an abundance of intelligence and power. Their energy is bright, hence your middle name. Your name is no coincidence honey, it was destined for you. It is your time. You are here because of you and you alone. Reap those rewards unabashedly,” she finished.

You could hear the conviction in her voice and see the pride coming off of her. It struck you. Nodding your head, you wiped your face and allowed her words to sink it.

“It is your time.”

You signed the contract and faxed it back to Kassius. You were filled with a mix of excitement, happiness, and sadness. You wanted to call him and tell him the good news, tell him about this exciting new thing in your life but you couldn’t. You also wanted to feel the happiness the event deserved but again, you couldn’t, not completely.

-Chris-

“I cannot believe you would do this! I cannot believe you’d do something so stupid. On the list of stupid things you’ve done which is quite long, this is the stupidest.”

He sighed and rubbed his face. He was tired of being reprimanded. This was round three with them and by them, he meant all of them. He was now sitting in his office in front of one of the biggest group video calls he’d done. On the screen was his mom, his sisters their significant others, his brother and his partner. It was a full house. He’d sat here for the last forty minutes as they each took a turn telling him what an idiot he was. He listened to it from every point of view, and no matter how he cut it he still felt like a dick.

“Okay enough! Jesus Christ, I get it I screwed this up,” he shouted.

“Baby brother, you did more than screwed it up. Ya’ fucked it up!”

Everyone began talking over each other and none of it sounded any different than when they’d started.

“Fa’ the love of God!” His shout was loud, and it echoed throughout the first floor of his home. It was loud enough for them to shut their mouths and hear his accent pop through. No one spoke for several long moments.

“Look, I know what I did was wrong. I know I messed up. I know I should have done things differently. I have gone around it time and time again, I wish I could change what I did, go back and handle it differently. I’m sorry.”

They still didn’t speak.

“Chris. Getting past the fact that you lied to us about marrying her and then continued to lie when you realized you were still married. We all can see you’re in love with her, I don’t know how she hasn’t seen it,” Shana stated.

He didn’t know it was that obvious. Thinking further, he’d practically told you how he felt, he just hadn’t said the words. You had to know.

“You have to tell her how you actually feel Chris. I get it you’re scared and everything that comes along with it. I get it. At some point though in order to get what you want you have to go after it—or her.”

He sighed. Somehow this had turned from a berating session to a counseling session.

“Look, I know you all mean well, but—she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you ya’ idiot. She’s hurt,” Carly informed in an annoyed tone. She then shook her head. “Chris you lied to her and honestly it is just the same as the lie she told. Neither of you are in the right. I get why she lied but you, I don’t get it. You lied to her and she feels stupid, she feels as if maybe you had an agenda. Like maybe you manipulated her and anything that was between you wasn’t real that it was just some figment of the situation that you ensured with your lie,” Carly finished.

“I had no agenda. All I wanted was a little time to show her what could be there, here between us.”

“You should have told her and gave her the choice. You took her choice away Chris. I get that rights and choices are huge with her especially seeing how independent she has been her entire life,” his mother simplified.

He sighed and nodded. She was right. He took your choice just as you’d taken his. Everything he’d felt in the first initial days since you’d told him about Ella you were now feeling. He didn’t think about it in that light.

“You have to be the one to fix this,” Shanna added.

“I don’t think I can. She said that they were better off without me.”

Scott made a “yikes” face, as did the rest of his siblings.

“Well, you kinda deserve that one. Have you seen what the press are doing to her? Her entire life is plastered everywhere. Not even just her, but Ella’s too. She didn’t ask for this and certainly wasn’t prepared. Her privacy is gone. This blindsided her,” Shanna’s boyfriend enlightened. It was insight from someone like you, normal, away from the eye of the press.

“Regardless if she wants you or not, or if you think she wants you or not you have to make this right. You have to stop using that as a crutch. You have to take a chance, Chris. Don’t she and Ella deserve it?”

There was the cincher, he thought. He was so used to getting what he wanted with little effort and work. He was now face to face with what he had to do, he had to put in the right kind of work.

-Vixen-

“Very good Ella, I’m so proud of you. You read that so well.”

She smiled widely and clapped her hands excitedly. You ruffled her soft curls then kissed her forehead.

“Mama, I sweepy.”

“Okay, let’s get the little princess to bed.” You stood, lifted her and carried her to her bedroom while softly singing her favorite lullaby.

“Smile, though your heart is aching, smile even though it’s breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by. If you smile through your fears and sorrow. Smile and maybe tomorrow, you’ll see the sun come shining through. If you just smile.”

By the time you made it to her bedroom, she was half asleep. You tucked her in and finished the lullaby while tracing gentle patterns on her scalp. It always did the trick and within a few minutes she was out like a light. You sat there for a few minutes more and just watched her sleep. When you felt like your tears would start you hopped in the shower and allowed it to clam your mind.

You still had some work to do so you wrapped in your robe after your post-shower ritual and went down to your office and got lost in work. You didn’t know how long you were in there sipping wine and working but when you looked up you heard muffled voices. You stood and slowly walked down the hall. As you got closer you could make out whose voices you were hearing; your mother, Nexus and Chris.

“I’m very sorry Mrs. Giovanni. There are no words or excuses I can give, and I am ashamed of my actions. I can assure you what I did was not an act of maliciousness or manipulation. I hope with time I can show you how sorry I am and earn your forgiveness,” he said.

For a few seconds, there were no words, and you were sure that they’d fallen for it. How could they not? He was respectful, sounded sincere, charming and was laying it on thick as fuck. Then your mother spoke.

“Chris, when I first met you I saw the kind of man you were through your eyes. I know you’re a good man, with good intentions. I know you love Ella and would do anything for her and Vixen. I have no doubt that this wasn’t malicious and I know you didn’t mean any harm.”

“That doesn’t change that there was harm done, a lot of harm,” Nexus added. You slyly peeped around the corner and saw Nexus leaning on the wall with her arms crossed before her, she was the furthest from him. she was not happy. your mother, on the other hand, looked neutral.

“You’re right I did cause harm.”

“Chris, I know that you know what you did. I just don’t know why you did it. I don’t get it and you know what I don’t know if I want to get it. I believed in you, I was rooting for you and I kind of feel responsible for the pain my sister is in. She didn’t deserve to find any of this out through a tabloid show,” Nexus shouted with as low of a whisper as she could manage. You could tell she was angry.

“You’re right, she didn’t deserve this, any of it. I’m sorry. I just—I want a chance to explain to her. I need to say some things to her.”

You’d heard enough. Coming around the corner your mother was the first to see you.

“Get out. There is nothing here for you,” you blurted out and you hoped you sounded believable.

“Vixen, stop it,” your mother interrupted coming up to you. “The least you can do is hear him out.” Your jaw dropped.

“The least? Excuse me?”

“Vixen, this isn’t something that happened to you. You were at the altar with him, you married him the same way he married you. Yes, he wasn’t forthcoming about the status of that marriage, but your life isn’t about you anymore. You have a daughter, a little girl who will be affected by this. She is already affected. She asks for him. She deserves the two of you to get it together.”

You were speechless. You had no idea she had it in her to be so bold about this. You also hated that she was right. Ella did deserve normalcy. Sighing you cross your arms and roll your eyes.

“Fine.”

“Are you sure?” Nexus approached you giving you an inquisitive look. You nodded assuring her you knew what you were doing although you had no idea what you were doing. “Okay. Just holler if you need me.” She gave you a quick hug and walked away with your mother trailing behind you.

You didn’t look at him, instead, you walked away to the kitchen. You could feel him following you. Once you walked in you made a beeline for the freezer and took out the tequila bottle then filled a glass. You could feel his eyes on you, he didn’t speak, and you were quickly getting annoyed.

“You better start because I didn’t fuck up.”

“You’re right, I fucked up,” Chris admitted.

“No shit! You lied to me, Chris. For weeks. You orchestrated everything on the basis of that lie.”

He rounded the island attempting to get closer. You evaded him and walked around to the opposite side. He stopped and raised his hands in the air. “That’s not true. Not entirely. When Sherman told me about the error and that we were still married I didn’t know what to think or do. I didn't know how to tell you. I was scared to tell you. I thought you'd insist we file and end things.”

Pulling the glass from your lips you gulped down the liquid more quickly than you should have and felt the intensified burn. “So what! That is a stupid reason, Chris. That doesn’t matter,” you lashed out.

“Of course it matters. I didn't want to lose you again!”

The admission had you frozen just staring at him across the island. The words were pretty, but they were said to cover an ugly lie. You closed your eyes and refilled your glass and took another out to fill it. You then slide it across the island to him. There were almost two full minutes of silence. The two of you just sipped your drinks, well he sipped, you gulped. Then he spoke.

“I’d spent months, years regretting how everything went down three years ago. Spent so many nights sitting up with a glass like this one just watching the ghosts of memories all around me. I spent so much time wishing I'd done things differently, wishing things had ended up differently. Then out of nowhere there you were and the minute I saw you everything I felt three years ago came back, everything I'd been trying to bury for three years came right back.”

“None of this matters. You lied to me! You used this lie to your advantage. None of it was real. None of it was true.”

The words stung you even more. The realization that this was reality, that everything over the last few weeks wasn’t anything real. You felt the tears and you tried so hard to keep it in.

“That's a lie and you know it Vixen.”

He raised his voice at that point. Realizing his tone, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and slowly blew it out. You took another gulp.

“This is what I know.” Another swig of tequila burned your throat before you spoke.

“You said the worst shit to me three years ago, made me feel like a modern day prostitute, like I was only worth what was between my legs; like that was all I was good for. That fucked me up, it fucked with me for years. Had me second guessing my worth, my value to a man, to you. So I got the hell out of there. Did I regret it? Sometimes, but for the most part no. Then I found out about Ella and I could have told you, I could have tracked you down, but I didn't. I was scared I didn't want to let you anywhere near again so you’d hurt me all over again. Part of me did want to stick it to you for what you did. I can be honest here and now. Then three years later you show up and you're charming and kind and everything you were three years ago, everything that I--then you kiss me and bring me to that lake and we--then San Francisco. You had so many chances to tell me the truth. You didn't.”

“I should have. I tried to so many times. I tried the night you met my family, tried in the pool, tried the night in the backyard in Boston, I tried, and I did but you were asleep when I said it in San Francisco. Jesus Christ, I tried Vixen.”

“Not hard enough. What you wanted one more romp in the hay to see if it was like old times?”

Again, Chris walked around the island to you. You backed up to the oversized fridge holding your arms out trying to keep him at bay. He ignored your hands and still approached, closing in. Walking away you were hoping to create distance between you, but he followed you.

“What's not fair is you keeping this from me. Something that was important that mattered and I know I did the same thing so don’t pull that.

“I wanted time to show you how perfect we were for each other, for you to see that maybe things were the way they should have always been. God Vixen I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've never felt the things I feel for you, I never thought I could, but I do.”

The tears were steadily approaching, your breakdown was coming. “You feel nothing it was an illusion; it was the sex.” You attempted to walk away again but Chris’ hand wrapped around your arm pulling you back to him.

“I've been in love with you from the night I married you. I didn’t know it then; I didn’t know it until I saw you again. When I looked in your eyes and had you in front of me I knew exactly how I felt and seeing you with Ella--our daughter only made me fall more in love with you. You are such an amazing mother, such a kind person with a good heart. You are so damn ambitious and determined. I love that about you, love how genuine you are and how you have an incredible work ethic one that shows the kind of person you are. This was never about sex for me Vixen. It started with Ella, but it didn’t take long for me to realize I didn't just want her, I wanted you. I want to build a life with you and Ella, be by your side as you shatter that glass ceiling you are so damn close to shattering. I want to be your biggest fan and supporter, I want to grow with you, build something others could only dream of. I want to see you every morning, go to sleep beside you after tucking Ella in, I want family vacations, princess dress-up parties, trips to the lake, birthday parties, a family, brothers, and sisters for Ella. I--I want you Vixen. I love you.”

Everything froze. He’d said the words. You thought you’d wanted to hear these words, thought if only he felt this way things would be so much easier. Now here they were. You thought you’d be happy or feel some sort of excitement but the only thing you felt was fear. You were filled with an abundance of fear, so much fear you couldn’t speak for several long moments. He stood there waiting for you to respond and each second that passed he looked as if he were unraveling.

“I want to love you, Vix. Let me.” His voice was pleading, as were his eyes, it was like he was begging you. When his lips dropped to yours the only thing your body did was kiss him back with as much passion and desire that he kissed you. He pulled you closer to him and the heat from his body had you pressing against him trying to savor it. A moan escaped you then one came from him. In a matter of seconds, the kiss was quickly getting out of hand. You were getting lost in the moment despite your common sense. You were the one to pull away.

“Until the day you wake up and want something else or don't want me anymore. The day you've finally gotten me out your system.” Your tears finally won as you expressed your deepest fear concerning him. Pressing your forehead to his chest you accepted defeat and cried allowing your fears and sorrow to seep out of every pore. You’d suppressed this cry because you feared you would never be able to stop.

Somehow, you found your voice for words. “Chris I barely put myself back together last time. I have no idea how I did it, no idea how my heart healed I--I can't.”

Somehow you got the words out through your tears. Somehow you were able to speak. You were scared to look at him, but you chanced it and immediately regretted it. Chris looked hurt. There was visible pain on his face and shining through his eyes. That only made you cry more. You put your forehead onto his chest again and breathed him in. When you felt his forehead on the top of your head you sobbed.

“Right.”

“I swear I won’t stand in the way of you getting to be there for Ella. I promise I won’t be that woman. We will work something out that you can see her when you want. I just--.” Unable to finish you walked away toward your bag.

“So you don’t want me?”

“Chris--.” The question was blatant. You couldn’t lie about it. You also couldn’t say anything. The terror in you was at its peak and the truth was you were too scared.

“You don’t feel what I feel?” You could feel him behind you. You wanted to turn to him and stare in his eyes but you knew if you did you couldn’t get through this. You were barely making it now. You reached into your purse and took out the folded papers.

“Tell me Vixen. There is no way that you feel nothing; no way that all this time we’ve spent together, after everything we’ve done together meant nothing.”

You try to keep a straight face, one that was arid of emotion that could give any indication just how much you were dying inside. The outward signs of that agony were your tears that continued to roll down your cheeks.

Taking a deep breath, you pressed the papers to his chest. Debating inside yourself you kept your hand on them—on him. This was yet another time a war was being waged within you, brain, reality, freedom, safety, or heart, dreamland, complication, risk. Maybe you had a lot more of this gypsy spirit your mother spoke about, you thought.

“I'm not strong enough, or brave enough. This won't end well.”

After a long hesitation and endless internal debate, you pulled your hand away from his chest just as he gripped the papers. You still didn’t know if you were doing the right thing from your heart or from fear. Unable to look at him anymore you slinked past him and down the hall. You had no idea how you did it so gracefully, especially considering how shaky your legs were.

-Chris-

He couldn’t believe his eyes. The force of his realization of seeing this knocked the wind out of his lungs. He could hear the blood pumping in his ears, hear his heart pounding so loudly that there was no other sound that he heard. Divorce papers—signed divorce papers. He gripped the side of the island hoping to steady himself. More hurt than he’d ever felt in his life bombarded him. His hyperventilating came on quickly and impacted his other senses, his vision, his breathing, his scent, even his touch. This was his worse nightmare, the worst outcome.

“It’s over. She doesn’t want me.”

Acknowledging that out loud felt like ripping his heart out. It had been so long since he’d felt pain like this, it dated as far back as his childhood. Even then did not compare to now. He didn’t know how long he stood there, didn’t know if he could move, or speak for that matter. When he finally did move his limbs felt heavy as if he had fifty pounds of lead in his body. He couldn’t think but he sure felt everything. Digging in his pocket he took out his pen and pressed it to the paper on the island right next to the blank line for him. He wavered for a few moments but shook off the hesitation and signed his name on the line next to yours. Once complete he got the hell out there sparing not even a second to look back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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TagList:

#love maybe fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #Chris Evans X black reader

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royallyprincesslilly · 5 years

Text

Title: Love, Maybe? {29}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Slow, Smoldering, Torturous Burn 😊, Heavy Angst

Word Count: 6.3K

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

ALSO THIS IS FICTION AND NO WAY A PROPER INTERPRETATION OF ANYONE‘S CHARACTER.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

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Chapter 29: Turbulance Up Ahead

-Vixen-

The way they were looking at you made you want to bolt. You found yourself looking back to the gate you’d just walked through and estimated how long it would take you to get you and Ella out of there. You almost did too, but then you felt Nexus’ arm around your waist. You looked to her, and she had a sweet, reassuring smile on her face before she gave you a slight nod. You took a deep breath and straightened your back.

“No one makes me run scared. I’m a fuckin’ boss!”

The woman who must have been Chris’ mother stepped forward with a warm smile on her face. “Hi, welcome. It’s great to finally meet you all.” You looked to Nexus and exchanged a look with her that only the two of you could possibly decipher.

“Thank you—Mrs. Evans,” you began then held out the cake you’d spent all night stress baking. “For you and your family.” She smiled and marveled at the expertly decorated confection.

“Wow, this looks absolutely mouthwatering. Thank you, Vixen.” You nodded.

“Welcome all of you. I’m glad you all could come. We’ve all been looking forward to meeting you for weeks, and I, for one, am so glad the day is finally here,” she said with a wide smile on her face. She looked like she meant what she said. Most of you was sure about it, but there was that part of you that still held its guard up. Something had to give. There had to be real repercussions from your actions. You were prepared to come face to face with them here.

Chris began the introductions. He went through each of his siblings and their spouses and partners and then to his father, his second wife and his half-siblings. As he went through them, they all welcomed you with respectful words and smiles that you mirrored. Chris introduced Ella, but she refused to let go of your neck; in fact, her grip got tighter and tighter every time you tried to let everyone else get a closer look.

After all the introductions were complete, Ella had clearly had enough. Chris brought everyone’s attention to him. “Maybe let’s give her a little space, she gets really shy sometimes.” Everyone nodded and backed off, but you saw a look flash across Carly’s face before she looked away from you and walked away. It was a look that said she just might be the repercussions of your actions.

“Is she okay?” Chris stood beside you with a concerned look on his face as he looked down at Ella.

“Yeah, it’s probably just too much attention at once. Give her some time she’ll come out her shell. Isn’t that right little mermaid?” Ella smiled small but hid her face in your chest again.

“Same for you, give them some time, they’ll come out their shells,” Chris advised. You smirked and nodded. His name was called from across the lawn, and he rubbed the top of Ella’s head before he walked off. Nexus approached you again.

“You okay?” You nodded. What else were you going to say?

“Look.” She nodded over to your parents, who were already wrapped up in conversation with Chris’ father and her current wife. You snorted and shook your head. “Life of the party as always.” You nodded and kissed the top of Ella’s head. “Too many Evans’ right, baby girl?” You laughed at Nexus then heard your name being called. When you looked around, you saw his siblings all sitting together around an unlit firepit waving you over. You looked at Nexus and looped your arm with hers.

“We’re a packaged deal,” you said.”

“Sho nuff.” You laughed as the three of you crossed the grass over to them. The closer you got, the more nervous you became. As you approached they moved around, making room for the two of you.

“I love your outfit,” the dark-haired one said. You smiled and nodded. “Shanna.”

“Right, Shanna, I’m sorry.”

“No worries, there are a lot of us. I understand completely.” Her eyes fell to Ella, whose face was still buried in your chest.

“Shy?”

“Yeah, she’ll come out soon,” you assured and looked down at Ella. “I have an idea, princess; you see the flowers. They look so beautiful wanna go look?” She sternly shook her head.

“It must be overwhelming meeting so many people all at once. It definitely would have been an easier adjustment if she’d been able to do it gradually throughout her early life,” Carly voiced. Everyone became quiet. You looked at her but bit your tongue.

“Just takes some kids longer to warm up. I wouldn’t be worried,” you responded.

“No, she took to Chris like that,” Nexus added with a snap to emphasis how quick it was.

“Chris is a big kid himself,” Scott chided. His siblings laughed along with him.

“Chris says you’re a chef and restauranteur. Is that right?” You smiled and nodded at Shanna.

“Yes.”

“That sounds amazing. must be tough to juggle life as a mom and owning a restaurant,” she followed up.

“Uh, it can be. I have an amazing family, and they’ve supported me from the beginning. By now, I’ve got the hang of it.”

“Let’s see if you’re saying that when you have to split oversight of two restaurants in two parts of the state,” Nexus slid in.

“Two restaurants?”

“Yeah, I’m uh—close to the grand opening of my second one in LA,” you informed.

“Wow, impressive. I am bowing down,” Shanna joked. You smiled and continued to rock Ella.

“I can understand wanting to accomplish your goals on your own. Is that why you kept her a secret?”

Clenching your jaw, you fought the urge to pop off at her. You knew she was testing you, seeing just how much you’d take until you blew up. You almost felt as if she wanted you to flip.

“She was never a secret. She was just my business. As her mother, I made a choice at the time for her safety and best interest. A choice I stand by.” Your eyes never left Carly’s; you knew it could have been taken as confrontational, but you didn’t care.

“Got it. Right, Chris, mom?” You looked back and saw Chris and his mother standing there. Chris’ jaw was tightly clenched, but he wasn’t looking at you, he was looking at Carly. The two of them found seats around the fire pit, and the tension that floated around was palpable.

Vixen, I snuck a piece of that cake, and it was delicious. I could taste the coconut in it, but it was so refined. I love it,” Mrs. Evans complimented. You smiled and nodded.

“Thank you. I’m happy you like it.”

“Do you do a lot of cooking?”

“Quite a bit. I cook every night for Ella and usually at the restaurant.”

“And you, Nexus?”

“God no, I do my best to stay out the kitchen,” she said with a ghastly expression on her face. everyone laughed.

“We’ll eat in another ten minutes unless you’re interested in it now, Mrs. Evans informed.

“Whatever you prefer is fine with me, ma’am.” She smiled warmly and looked at Chris.

Chris held out a flower to Ella and waited for her to take it. It took a whole, but slowly her hand came out to take the flower. She toyed with it then slowly lifted her head from your chest, allowing most to finally see her face. “Ank oo.” Those around melted with “aww” and “ohs.” This made her bury her face into your chest again. This would have been humorous if you weren’t already so damn uncomfortable. You decided then and there not to force her to embrace not a one of them. You held tightly to her and continued to rock her. She was your only concern. These people were either going to love you or hate you.

~~~~~~~

When everyone sat to lunch at the beautifully set table, conversation was scarce, and you felt it was because of you, but you focused on Ella, who was still glued to you. By lunch, she’d managed to keep her face out your chest and was eating her food on your lap. She wouldn’t even let Chris take her. You knew she would snap out of it, so you weren’t worried. Your parents easily made conversation with the adults around the table, and you were glad for it. They took some of the tension away. Every so often, you caught Chris’ eyes on you and Ella, and every time you did, you looked away.

You didn’t know how to behave here. You didn’t know if you were supposed to be the outgoing newcomer and ignore the enormous yellow bird that was ever present, or play the black sheep and shy away from attention and back down from conversation or were you supposed to be proving yourself to them. None of them felt natural; none of them felt like you. Toward the ending of lunch, everyone started asking you plenty of questions. They asked about what you liked to do, what you didn’t like, how you got into the restaurant business, how you juggled motherhood and work, and even questions about your life. It all seemed pleasant and genuine.

After lunch, you offered to help clean up, but Mrs. Evans refused your help stating you were a guest, and she wanted you to take it easy and enjoy yourself. So, you took the opportunity to show Ella the flowers. You knew she’d been eyeballing them all afternoon. In the sea of flowers, she allowed you to put her down. She touched every bud and marveled at all the colors and even tried to pick a few before you told her not to. Every so often, she pulled you over to a new patch of flowers, and when she dropped down to her knees to dig in the dirt, you laughed. It always amazed you her ability to find dirt to sink her hands into it.

Chris’ niece walked over blowing bubbles; Ella’s first reaction was to hug your leg and hide, but when the bubbles caught her attention she turned and watched them blow in the gentle breeze. His niece, Stella held out the bottle for her to try and she took it and tried blowing her own. Soon she and Stella were twirling in the bubbles and flowers as you sat and watched. One of Chris’ nephews came over with an even bigger bubble wand and handed it to you. You stood and began waving it in the air using the wind to blow the bubbles.

The girls squealed and giggled as they twirled in them. Their happy laughter brought the attention of those around, and they stood and watched. When you looked back you saw Chris standing with his siblings and watching as well. Carly looked to him then to you and nodded. It was then you looked away and continued producing bubbles.

As the sun began to set, Ella slowly came out of her shell and played with the other kids who looked just as amazed with her as she was with them. It was cute to see them play gently with her because of her size and have her be the rough one.

“I’m sorry.” You looked back and saw Carly standing there holding two full glasses of wine. Taking a deep breath, you prepared yourself for round two.

“For what?” She came around and held out one of the wine glasses to you. Slowly, you took the glass and peered into it.

“I promise, it’s not poisoned,” Carly assured. You snorted and took a sip.

“Even if it were, it’d take a lot more than a little poison to kill me,” you cockily answered. Carly smiled and nodded and sat diagonal from you.

“I’m sorry for how I’ve acted since you arrived. It’s not how I was raised—how any of us were raised matter of fact, so don’t hold it against my parents.” You studied as you circled your finger around the chilled glass rim. The low hum it produced was one you loved.

“That’s a talent,” Carly added.

“I have many.”

She nodded and took a sip from her glass. “Since we found out about you and Ella, I guess I’ve gone into protector mode. I’m the oldest, and I’ve always thought of Chris as the baby who needed protecting from things. When he told us about you, I guess it rubbed me the wrong way, and I guess I felt I should protect him.”

“From me?”

“Yeah.” You nodded and took another sip from the wine and looked over to Ella, who was still engrossed in playtime with her cousins. The thought that she now had cousins made you smile.

“I’m sorry,” Carly repeated.

You didn’t answer. You thought about what you were about to say. Before you responded, Shanna, Scott, and their significant others came over along with Carly’s husband. The five of them looked between you and Carly as if this was a wild, wild west face off. The sound coming from your glass continued and intensified the mood of the moment. Chris walked over then and stood behind Carly.

“Everything okay?” Chris’ inquiry sounded like a warning to Carly, but his eyes were on you looking for any indication you wanted him to step in. You didn’t answer.

“Vix?” You heard Nexus from beside you and made your decision.

You took a breath and finished the glass of wine.

“Okay, I’m here. You all know the story. Go ahead, ask your questions.” They all looked at each other as if they didn’t understand what you meant.

“There has to be a whole list of questions you want answers to. If it were me, I’d have at least seven main ones. Chris can’t answer for me, so I am here. I will answer. I’d take the free pass it won’t be offered again.” The silence continued, and you looked around to each of their faces, avoiding Chris’ eyes. When your eyes landed on Carly, you knew she had her questions.

“Okay, I’ll go first. What kind of person hides a child for almost two years? This must have been a top one. I never hid my child. As I said, I made a decision based on the facts I had at the time and moved forward. I made a choice to protect my child and shield her from anything that would prove harmful for her mental and emotional health. I chose her stability over all else. Does that make me a horrible person, who knows? I made a choice and as horrible as it is to say I don’t regret the choice I made those years ago. It was the best one then.” You didn’t look at Chris; you kept your eyes square with Carly’s.

“Next question. Was I hoping to spring this out in the open, hoping for scandal and a huge payday? No. I have no interest in personal fame or celebrity, nor do I have any interest in anyone’s money but my own, which I make quite a fair amount of. Let’s see, did I do this to deliberately hurt Chris? No. In no part of this story did I think up ways to hurt him for anything. I can be a bitch, but I’m not a heartless, vindictive one. Hmm, oh, did I ever plan on telling him the truth? I’ve thought about this a lot over the last few months and before I didn’t know. Today though, I probably would have. There would have come a time where it would have happened, I couldn’t and wouldn’t keep something like this a quiet for her entire life.” You looked around again. His brother Scott has a small smile on his face while Shanna had a bigger one. When she looked to Carly her expression looked to have softened.

“That about sum up the majority of your questions? Does that give you an idea if you have to protect your brother from me? If not, let me fill in the blanks. I want one thing, and that is what is best for Ella, always have, always will. Yeah, I’m remorseful that you all didn’t get to know her, I’m saddened that my actions have made you distrustful of me, I really am. If you have to hate me fine, I will accept it; I’m stronger than I look. All I ask is that you don’t take it out on her or let your hate for me impact how you love her.” Without knowing it, your tears fell from your eyes. You put your glass down, stood and walked off.

“Vixen--,” Chris began, but you didn’t stop. You slipped through the gate you came in without a single idea where you were going. You didn’t care. You just needed to move.

~~~~~~

-Chris-

He was ready to flip a fucking table. It was too much to ask for that his sibling would behave. It was too much to ask for this meeting to go smooth. He knew everyone had questions and knew everyone was apprehensive when it came to her, but he honestly expected them to keep it low key. Guess he expected too much. He felt guilty like hell and was more than pissed at his family and made it very clear.

He gave each of his siblings a piece of his mind, Carly especially. He understood where she was coming from. She’d been his protector his whole childhood, and they were all closer than anything and knew it would be hard for them to get close to you, but he didn’t expect that. They all felt like shit now especially after everything you said and the fact that you ran out crying. Knowing that, his mother was the angriest of them all. She chewed them out good for not only being rude to a visitor but for going against everything she’d taught them growing up. She was so pissed that they were all on clean up duty, which meant trash, tables, dishes, sweeping and mopping, oh yeah real corporal punishment.

He went out driving to look for you but wasn’t successful. Nexus said that if you didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t find you. The fact that you didn’t know where you were, or your way around made him worry even more. He called your phone, but you’d left your purse. After an hour, he felt useless and found himself anxiously pacing the yard and shaking his legs when he sat. He wondered how pissed you were at him for this. Here he was telling you everything would be fine, and things were way past fine. You must have felt like he ambushed you.

For most of the time you were gone, Ella was occupied with his niece and nephew and other siblings that weren’t sentenced to manual labor with Nexus keeping a close watch. He knew she wasn’t entirely comfortable with everyone here, and Nexus’ close presence made it a little easier. Nexus was clearly annoyed with the turn of events and voiced this to him. She even went as far as to assure him it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t control his siblings but that he could have done more. When he confided in her the last argument or misunderstanding you’d had with him overstepping she understood his apprehensiveness with making the same mistake twice in that many days.

After almost two hours, Ella seemed to notice you weren’t around and began throwing a tantrum complete with tears, screams, and limb swinging. She wouldn’t even allow him to console her. She continued to scream for her mama, and the longer it took you to appear, the worse her meltdown became.

He saw your dress from the corner of his eye, and you quickly approached. Ella saw you and wiggled free from Nexus’ arms and ran to you. Without a word, you wrapped her in your arms, lifted her, and walked off to the garden. He sat there just watching you rock and bounce with her, hugging her close to your body. Slowly Ella’s cries died out. After ten minutes or so, she was quiet. Your voice could be heard singing a soothing lullaby to her.

Suddenly a swarm of lightning bugs surrounded you. Ella lifted her head from your chest and looked at the blinking creatures. She reached her hand out, trying to catch one, but it evaded her tiny grasp. She laughed, but he could hear the tears still in her voice. As more and more lighting bugs circled you, Ella became more and more interested in her attempt to catch one. Every time she tried, she came up unsuccessful. Soon you were spinning her in a circle as the lighting bugs flickered around you. It was a beautiful sight, one he was completely mesmerized by.

In this moment, he felt things he’d never felt before, not fully. All those years ago, he’d felt the stirrings of it, but he’d nipped it in the bud as quick as he could. He’d pushed it away and chalked it up to infatuation with the sex, or your body. Sitting here now, he saw the error of his thinking. He knew what he felt, and it had nothing to do with sex or your body. He glanced down to his hand and saw it shaking. As he flexed it he found himself looking back to you and Ella. The joy on your faces felt like everything he’d ever wanted.

“Does she know you’re in love with her?” He looked up to see his mother’s smiling face. He scoffed and flexed his shaking hand again, but it didn’t steady.

“I don’t see how she could. I just figured it out myself.” His mother smiled wider and sat beside him and watched you and Ella as well.

“You should tell her sooner rather than later.”

“Just like that, huh. I should tell my daughter’s mother, who my only connection to is through that child, that I have feelings for her?” His mother nodded.

“Love is more than feelings, honey. The love I see radiating off of you is the love you settle down for, the love you sacrifice for, the stuff you die for—true love.”

“It’s probably your fault I love Disney as much as I do,” he joked. The two of them laughed together until it slowly died down. Again his eyes were glued to you.

“Carly told me what she said.”

He sighed and nodded, remembering the whole disaster. “Yeah, it was bad.”

“It was, but with it, I no longer believe she has ill intentions toward you or anyone. Your siblings believe it too,” his mother assured. He scoffed.

“Maybe they should have figured that out before making her cry.”

“Yeah, that would have been a better idea. Don’t worry; I’ll smooth it over.” He looked to her as she smiled.

“You should tell her how you feel, especially since I’m sixty to seventy percent sure they’re not unrequited feelings.”

His mother stood and walked over to you. His jaw remained dropped for several minutes. He sat and watched the friendly interaction. It meant a lot that you and his mother got along. She was a huge part of his life. Her approval meant a lot. You looked over to him and slowly walked over to him, somehow still rocking and bouncing Ella. Once to him, you stood there still rocking.

“Uh—can you hold her? She’s seconds from falling asleep. All you have to do is do what I do, and she won’t know the difference.” He stood and studied the coordination and began mirroring it. You nodded.

“Good, get into a groove, I’ll pass her off, try not to stop. He nodded. After a few seconds, he nodded, and you stepped closer to him and handed Ella to him. his coordination faltered, and Ella stirred and began fussing.

“Shhhh. It’s okay, baby.”

Your arms wrapped around his triceps and bounced and rocked with him, giving Ella the impression it was still you. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your eyes met his, and there the two of you stood rocking and bouncing together closer than you’d ever been since the night you’d made Ella with the product of that encounter between you. “Vixen--,”

“Shh, she’ll wake. You got it.” You slowly backed away and watched him keep the same tempo you did. You nodded and softly smiled as you looked between them. “You’re a natural.” With that, you turned and walked back to his mother who’d seen the entire thing. The two of you disappeared further into the garden, and he was left there to look around at all the eyes that were on him who’d clearly seen the exchange.

~~~~~~~

-Vixen-

You were no longer nervous. The walk helped calm you down, and the walk also helped with you regaining your cold exterior. When you returned, you felt more in control, but now sitting before Chris’ mother, you felt those nerves returning. You didn’t know if it was because of her presence of the encounter with Chris a while ago. You sipped from the glass of wine before you and took a breath.

“You have a beautiful home.”

“Thank you, Vixen. I appreciate that.” Her smile was warm, and her words were kind.

“Let me apologize for my children. I am deeply and sincerely sorry for how they’ve behaved. I am not going to sit here and make any excuses for them. How they behaved was wrong, and I am ashamed of them. I promise it’s not the way I raised them.” You studied her and saw she meant it.

“I appreciate the apology, Mrs. Evans. It’s not your apology to give though, but it means a lot that you’d still offer it. I don’t blame you at all. I know you raised them well; Chris is amazing.” Before you knew you said it, you’d said it. His mother studied you with a small smile.

“How so?” She took a sip from her glass. You bit your bottom lip and drank some of your wine. She waited for you to answer, and you knew you weren’t going to get out of this.

“Um, well—just the impression I get from the public and articles and things like that. Also, he’s been great concerning Ella and the transition with everything. He’s—stepped up in a big way. A way many wouldn’t have or a way many wouldn’t have been so successful at. Ella adores him, and as you can see, it takes her some time to warm up to people.”

“You have a wonderful little girl there. She looks a lot like Chris, it’s incredible.”

You nodded your agreement, and silence fell between you again.

“Vixen, when Chris first told me I was confused and very wary of your intentions and character but having you here tonight and observing you not only with your family but mine and with Ella then hearing how you put Carly in her place, which is exactly what you did. It took guts to do that, especially while not being on your home turf. I understand the courage it took even to come here knowing what could have happened. It shows your bravery, but also your want to make things right any way you can. I respect a woman who admits she’s made mistakes but owns up to them and shows conviction when those mistakes are questioned. I respect you and am certain you have no ill will for my son or our family. I think quite the opposite actually.”

You felt like a huge weight had been lifted off not only your shoulders but your heart.

“I’m sure we’ll grow to be great friends, Vixen. I look forward to getting to know you better.” You flared your nose, trying to keep the tears back, but they spilled free.

“I’m sorry.” She stretched her hand out to the one left on the table.

“No need for sorry. I can imagine the stress you’ve been under. I don’t want to be an added one. I want to move forward. I believe you know you made a mistake, and I don’t believe in pounding someone’s head in their mistakes. You were young; you’re older, wiser. You’re a different person, and this person I want to know. You’ve made my son a father. You’ve given him and this family a great gift. Somehow it all feels complete now. I prayed for this for him for so many years, and you’re proof prayers do get answered.” She was emotional as well. The two of you giggled together as you cried it out.

The night had definitely taken a turn—slightly for the better.

When you walked back out with Mrs. Evans, who’d insisted from this day forward, you referred to her as Lisa because she was no longer Mrs. Evans and trusted you much more many eyes fell to you. Chris was still rocking and bouncing Ella in his arms, but he was now talking to your family. You went around and said your goodbyes. You’d had enough, and it was time to go. When you made it to Chris, he must have known because he nodded and began walking with Ella. You saw him trying to continue the bounce and rock, but he looked a hot mess. Keeping the laugh in you followed along to the gate, you saw his siblings inside and remembers something your mother said to you when you were a child.

“Don’t ever give them the benefit of thinking they have you running with your tail between your legs.”

With your head held high, you walked to the deck interrupting whatever they were talking about. They all looked to you with a shocked and shamed look on their faces.

“I wanted to say it was nice meeting you all. Thank you for your hospitality, have a good night.” You didn’t give them a chance to respond. You turned on your heels to see Chris watching with a protective look on his face, one that looked as if he were daring his siblings to say something.

“Ready?” You nodded and walked ahead with him following close behind. You needed rum, and you needed it badly.

~~~~~~

After getting back to the house, you said goodnight to your parents. You and Nexus sat for a while to make sure you were okay. She allowed you to vent and even vented with you. She was right there with you on how pissed she was. She never once called you crazy or even tried to downplay your anger or hurt. She even assured you that you’d handled it right when you expressed worry that you’d flown off the handle way too quickly and had one past the cuckoo’s nest. She told you how crazy Chris went trying to find you and how upside down he was worrying he hadn’t done enough to stand up for you or prevent it. She told you about him putting his siblings in their place hard once you bolted. Everything she said made you even more confused. You didn’t want him fighting your battles, and he was right not to step in, but hearing that he did didn’t make you angry. It made you feel the opposite.

You took a long, hot shower, but you were still wired. So, you went back downstairs and searched the kitchen for the alcohol. He had to have alcohol.

“Looking for this?” You spun around and saw Chris’s shadow in the darkened doorway and nearly passed out.

“Oh my god, you can’t sneak up on a black woman, Chris!”

“What were you going to do? Throw a lemon at me?” You looked in your hands and saw a small lemon. Rolling your eyes, you put it back in the basket.

“I have a nasty arm,” you defended. “Totally better than Manning, and Tebow. He snorted and nodded his head as if he didn’t believe you.

“You’re gonna have to prove that one day.” You smiled. “Come on; I’ll pour you a glass.” He walked back through the door leaving you standing there to think about it. Without much thought, you followed him outside. You didn’t see him around the pool but saw him to the right of the house. You followed, crossing the lush green grass until you got to him.

“Where are we going?”

“Remember that place I told you about?” You nodded. “That’s where. It’s not far, don’t worry.”

After a few minutes of walking on an incline, you saw a gazebo and smiled as you stepped up onto it. Chris took the lead and sank into the swing with a groan. You sat down and crossed your legs, sitting crisscross style. You didn’t care that your thighs were on full display.

“Look.” You looked to where he pointed and could see a lake.

“Woah, you live close to a lake?”

“One of the selling points. It’s semi-private, and I’ve been known to take a few dunks in there with my niece and nephews.”

“Wow, you have a great little slice of heaven here, Evans.” He held out a glass to you, and you took a hearty sip recognizing the bourbon taste. It wasn’t rum, but it would have to do.

The two of you sat quietly for a long time just enjoying the silence, the view of the lake, and the smoothness of the bourbon. After about twenty minutes, Chris sighed.

“I’m sorry, Vixen. I had no idea that would happen or go down like that. I don’t even know what to say. They shouldn’t have treated you like that,” he rushed out.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to apologize; it wasn’t like it was you. You have no control over them. I don’t blame you. It’s fine.”

“How are you so chill about this?”

“I had my two hours to stew and cry and think. Then I had an additional hour with Nex to vent. This is a total of three hours of digression you’re witnessing.” He smiled and continued to drink.

“The funny thing is I get it, Chris. I went in there expecting that. I prepared for it. You thought it would be puppies and rainbows, but I didn’t believe that. I understand where she’s coming from, and I get their need for caution. I understand completely that in their eyes, I am public enemy number one. I did a shitty thing, and the shitty thing I did was to their beloved brother. A guy who didn’t deserve it, a pretty great guy. That was the only way they could be.”

“I should have put them in their place before you went off.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. I’m glad you recognized me needing to handle it myself. I’m not some damsel in distress. Although I do appreciate you stepping in after the fact, it was—sweet, and it means a lot. Thank you.”

He nodded and looked down to his glass before he finished it. “You’re something else I tell ya’. Never in a million years would I have expected you to go off like that by drawing the fire to you. You single-handedly lit the fire, fanned the flames and doused kerosene on it before you walked off to leave it blazing out of control.” You snorted and laughed loudly. Looking back, that is precisely what you did.

“Yeah, I’m a modern-day Ghost Rider.” Chris laughed then. The sound of your laughter together sounded like it belonged.

“I’m serious. I’ve never been more impressed, scared, and turned all at the same time in my entire life.” You looked at him hearing him say you turned him on. Chris closed his eyes and made a face.

“I didn’t mean--,” he began before you cut him off.

“I know, I know what you meant.” He nodded, and silence fell between you again.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” You sighed and finished your glass.

“I’ve never been very good at biting my tongue or censoring. I think it’s my one fatal flaw.” Chris laughed again.

“I think my fatal flaw is I’m too good at biting my tongue. I’m too good at censoring,” he countered. You studied him and wondered what exactly he meant. “In my world, acting, being in the public eye, you have to understand what to say when to say it what not to say and how to give off the idea of one thing while being the opposite. It’s a game and a trick, and because of that, I guess I’ve gotten very good at it and find myself biting my tongue at times I shouldn’t. Only thing is I don’t realize it until long after the moment.”

You nodded, fully understanding what he meant. It happened to you too. You held your glass out for him to refill. When he poured, he stopped at a half glass before you motioned for him to continue. Once your glass was filled to the top, you took a sip.

“You’re a great mom, Vixen. Ella is lucky to have you.” You looked at him at the same time he looked at you. “I’m lucky that Ella has you.” Your heart was literally expanding right in your chest, you could feel it, and you just knew it was a matter of time before you did something stupid. “She couldn’t have a better mom,” he finished.

Your body swayed closer to his. Quickly, you snapped your head forward to look at the lake again then took two heavy gulps of the bourbon before you blew out to cool your inflamed taste buds. You then dropped your head onto his shoulder and let the silence take over again. This was enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@sarahboseman @heyauntieeee @airis-paris14 @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-inspired @theunsweetenedtruth @ashanti-notthesinger @reignsxjackson @halfrican-heat @ambthegamer @simplyyamberr @muse-of-mbaku @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @maliadestiny @drsunshine97 @blowmymbackout @purplehairgawdess @thehuntoyobun @wakandamama @wakandawinning @profilia @zxddy-panther @h-challa @babygirlofwakanda @misswakanda2018 @ororowrites@hutchj @myfavemarvelfanfics @lavitabella87 @afraiddreamingandloving @autumn242 @purple-apricots @skysynclair19 @hersheyskissesss-blog @blue-ishx @90sinspiredgirl @tchallaswife @tchallamakesmeh0lla @turn-thy-paige @blackchickfics @blackpantherismyish @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @naturally-bri @flawlesslybeautiful14 @qweentbh@lunaerly @theoutereffect@twilight-sapphire-lover @pupyluv247 @stark-red19 @cockyboysandsugarism@maverickabull @madbadsiren @aykanna @myaw731 @ruruly20 @mixedmelanin @brittyevans @bezzywazhere@laketaj24 @soulsparker @theresnomoregoodones @syreanne@loveandcigarillos @heyauntieeee @heybriheyyy @wakanda-bcth @uhlxis @maliadestiny @dadinhas-heat @yaachtynoboat711@geeksareunique @bultalongthewayside @ajspencer1892 @captiansaveasmut @imaginewhoever @terrablaze514 @starsshines-blog @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade@darkandlovely94 @sithlordslut @wavyyc @naturalistamisslyn @nigarachi15 @madamslayyy @blackandfair @kreolemami @mylastnameisthe-fish @kaykay0829@chaneajoyyy @tequilajay27 @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @slimmiyagi @im5ftbutmythroat66 @jaeee-http@madhatterhelsing @sunflowerpsalms @wakanda-shit-is-that @deliciousstreetkidcroissant @jecourt @vebner37 @disneysdarlingdiva @melaninmarvel @alanastormborn@dolphinpink310 @yourwonderbelle @ohleucothea @queentearra @bitchbetterhavemydinner @fentybabyy @kaykay4454fan @priya212 @kitkit1690 @chrismarcs @beautycomesindifferentformsworld @blackpantherimagines @ovohanna24 @sweetpeachjones @kslo000 @nubian-queen18 @omgsuperstarg @airis-paris14 @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @drsunshine97 @blue-ishx @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @prettyprincessushio @treeondrea @ursapharoh05 @blackpinup22 @kaytauru @big3gocandykahn @kissingpineapples @wildaboutchrisevans @fitfineandstayingalive @misspooh @michele-onel @gorjiss @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @muva-milaje @limbo-limbo-limbo @awkwardlyabstract @blxck-brxndie @meeky-imagines @inlovewith3 @metalarmlover @mellowjellow6 @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @ursapharoh05 @treeondrea @ovohanna24 @marvelheaux @romanceoftheeveryday @mufasathatniggatho @cltex84 @sweetbearcolorgarden @msincognito67 @mosagram @lunaerly @mar-ta-3 @ljstraightnochaser @lewatigress @akimi-youngblood @bekahdean87 @jasmindaughteroftheworld @cocooned-butterfly @emoniclark22 @chereedrop619 @theblulife @niggarachi15 @drsunshine97 @msincognito67 @missdeerstalker15 @wakandamama @avenger-marvel-fan @arieljamiyla @vibranium-soul @monae-boss @queenxchallaxkillamonger@amirra88 @jaeee-http @omg-itsnadi @fonville-designs @sydneebleu @cherrystainedlipsbaby @behindthesehazeleyes27 @areubeingserved @kelbabyblue @academic-glowup @patzammit @yourwonderbelle @pennywisesmistress @squeackygee @noramushrooms @titty-teetee @ab-baybay @kreolemami @impossiblegiantrebelbasketball @dangerouslovefanfic @heladoom @renesmeeharelds @zaddysqueen7 @alyxkbrl @hello-therree @taylorveebee @a-dizzle777 @deidrashouseofpain @coldmuffinbanditshoe @ @evemej @chaselovinggert @ben-wyxtt

#love maybe fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans X black reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic

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royallyprincesslilly · 5 years

Text

Title: Love, Maybe? {15}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Plot, Cursing, Heavy Angst,

Word Count: 2.1K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. 3 years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

**Partially Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 15: Luck Runs Out

-Vixen-

You hated limbo. Not limbo itself, but being in limbo. That’s what you lived in for two weeks—perpetual limbo. Every time you walked outside the door you thought today would be the day that you’d see him at the coffee shop you got your latte, or at the restaurant when you had lunch or even dinner with Zack. Every second that passed where you didn’t have an impromtue romcom meeting your anxiety rose until you were always an anxious mess. Everyone around you noticed your uneasiness; Nex was the only one who knew why. Every day she gave you a look that said you were triflin’. She didn’t believe you when you said you had no idea how to find him. You knew damn well that you knew how to find him, you knew his address, you knew his lawyer’s contact information, shit you still had his damn number locked away in Keepsafe. You had every opportunity and all the means to contact him, but you still hadn’t.

Instead, you continued on with your life, played attentive mom to Ella, powerful businesswoman with the development, and reclusive spinster in everything else. You didn’t go out at night unless it was to dinner with Zack, and you only did that because you felt obligated to do it. You liked him, yes, but you still hadn’t allowed yourself to move past a vague passing interest. You didn’t know what was wrong with you. He was the textbook good guy. He was kind, understanding, funny, good looking and a good kisser but there was something that was off. You were reluctant to dwell on it because you feard the real reason why something was off.

“Are you okay?”

You snapped out of your thoughts and looked back to Zack, who sat across from you. You smiled and nodded.

“Yes, I’m sorry I zoned out. This place is beautiful.”

“It is. I thought you’d like it,” he added.

“I do. I think I like the tropical feel. I’ve been leaning that way with the development.”

“Do it. I can’t wait to see the finished product.”

You smiled and took a sip from your lemonade and studied him.

“Zack.”

“Yeah.” He smiled, welcoming and warm.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything.” He sounded genuine—open.

You licked your lips and sucked your bottom lip as you thought how to word the question. After a few moments, you forged ahead. “Did you introduce me to Kassius because you hoped it would help you get closer to me and be with me?”

He looked surprised by your question, so surprised he didn’t speak for several long moments. You carefully studied his reactions and body language watching for any give away to his real feelings and intentions.

“Wow. Is that what you think?”

You shrugged and played with the remainder of your crab salad.

“Tell me now if that is what you think—what you’ve thought all these weeks. Is that why you’ve been keeping me at arm’s length?”

“Arm's length?

“Yeah, I’m not a fool I can tell you’ve been holding back. You don’t make plans if it’s more than a few days in advance, you don’t say more than necessary that would keep me appeased, you don’t talk about your life much. I can tell.”

You bit your bottom lip. You didn’t know he’d pieced it all together. As he spoke he looked disappointed and hurt. That made you feel sadness. When you didn’t speak to discount his observations he placed his utensils down, took up the paper white cloth napkin wiped his mouth and cleared his throat. It was all done cooly, controlled—calculated.

“Okay, no. I didn’t introduce you to Kassius to have something over you so you’d feel obligated to date me. I didn’t ask Kassius to give you a contract as a favor to me to get you to sleep with me. I didn’t have any other intentions other than helping someone out that I saw as a good person, a gifted chef. I didn’t even intend on anything progressing between us once you got that contract with Kassius, I thought it might have come across as a conflict of interest and didn’t want you to think I had some underhand dealings with him about you. I just couldn't stay away from you; you’re that addictive.”

It was clear to see he was angry. His upper body was tense, and his jaws looked clenched, and his eyes looked sad. You’d hurt him and you felt like an asshole for doing it.

Zack scoffed and shook his head; “Unbelievable. I know in LA it’s the way of the town to fuck people over, but I assumed you’d actually been paying attention to who I am, who I’ve been trying to show you I am. I guess not.” He took his wallet out and placed three crisp bills on the table as he stood.

“I get it; you’re apprehensive and cautious. You have every right to be you have to be careful with people especially having someone that depends on you. I get it. I can’t be mad at it or you for it, disappointed, hurt, yeah. Have a good day.”

Just like that, he was gone. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes and dropped your head back to marinate in the mess you’d created. You’d fucked up, not for asking the question but for even beginning something with anything but clear intent about it.

“Fuck, Vix,” you hissed under your breath.

“Everything all right here?”

You looked at the waitress’ smiling face and pasted a replica on yours before you nodded.

“Yes, we’re finished. Thanks.”

“Thank you for the generous tip.” You nodded as she took the money Zack placed on the table and walked off. Once she did the bottom of your stomach fell out.

Across the restaurant, your eyes zeroed in on him—Chris. Suddenly your legs felt as if they were blocks of lead. The minute familiarity spark you recognized the look; it was the look he gave you the night you met in Vegas sitting at the same poker table. It was a look that spoke of hope. Butterflies flittered around your stomach at a furious pace stealing all your breath. You felt lightheaded as if you were going to pass out at any moment. His eyes never left yours and only intensified with every passing second. Even from across the room he affected you. It wasn’t fair you thought, and in the same space you wondered if you had any effect on him.

“Fuck, Vix.”

You pushed yourself up onto wobbly legs and gathered your belongings. Before you turned you glanced back and saw him standing at his table watching your every move. Eyes began to drift to him before a stunned gasp echoed in the outdoor seating area.

“Oh my god, it’s Chris Evans!” Every head around you snapped to his standing muscular frame. For a second his eyes left yours and glanced around to the other dining guests. With the distraction you took the opening to quickly make your getaway. Passing a few bodies making their way to him you slipped through inside the restaurant and finally out the front door. Once you were outside you took several deep breathes dropping your hands to rest on top of your knees.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Your phone rang, and you placed it to your ear.

“Hello? Yeah, I’m done. No good, you have great timing. Let’s get out of here. Stay there I’m a block away from you.”

Once you hung up, you walked down the street using the time to calm your nerves.

“Fuck that was close.”

You wracked your brain with the ways that this could have had one hundred different outcomes. You knew what you should do, knew it well, but you weren’t ready. You didn’t know what to say, how to say it, didn’t know if you should apologize, be defiant and professional. As you walked getting enveloped in your thoughts you forgot about your surroundings. You turned the corner and felt yourself begin to relax. In the distance you could see Nex carrying Ella as they walked to you. A smile spread across your face and you began to breathe easy.

As you approached them, Ella held out her arms to you squealing happily.

“Mama, mama, mama, mama!” You smiled and placed several kisses across her face before finally dropping the last on her lips. She plastered her hands across your face and felt your cheeks, forehead, and nose.

“I’m here, baby. Did you have fun with auntie Nex?” She squealed again, clapped her hands, and laughed.

“Everything okay?”

You nodded, deciding there was no need to tell her what happened with Zack. You’d deal with smoothing things over another day.

“Why’d you walk this way? Isn’t the car that way?”

“Yeah, let’s go this way. There’s a store around the other corner I wanted to peek in,” you lied.

As the two of you fell into a leisure stroll, you nuzzled your face into Ella’s neck and inhaled her sweet baby scent. You loved her smell. You read somewhere that mothers were programmed to love the smell of their child no matter what, it was a chemical/biology thing. It was true for you; her scent was the best thing ever. When you rounded the second corner you zeroed in on your car. As you walked toward it you lifted Ella in the air and imitated the sound of an airplane as you smoothly sailed her through it. Her giggles and squeals rang out and made you laugh until you bumped into a solid figure. You felt yourself toppling backward until you were gripped by a pair of big hands that pulled you forward as you held on tightly to Ella. Instantly your body came to life. You felt the once steady thump of your heart turn to an erratic pounding, the ever-present butterflies filled your stomach, and your skin was on fire. You looked in front of you and came face to face with Chris.

Neither of you moved, he stared into your eyes with his piercing blue ones, eyes that had haunted you for years. When you slept your dreamt of them among other body parts. Seeing him up close after all these years was earthshattering. TV, magazines, and movies definitely didn’t do him justice. He was a god among men. Hours seemed to pass with the two of you standing silent as monks with his arms around you. You could feel his biceps surrounding you, and you wanted for the first time in a long time oh boy did you want.

Ella grabbing your hair was what brought you back to reality. The reality that had you standing in front of Chris with Ella.

“Fuck!”

You pulled back from his embrace and took a few steps back and looked at Nexus who was standing to the side at the car door as speechless as you were.

“Uh--,”

“Vixen--,” you both spoke at the same time. You took a deep breath and looked up to meet his eyes once again. Chris looked to be just as surprised as you were.

“Hi,” he said with a breathless rush. You knew you had no words to say so you didn’t even bother to respond. Chris looked across to Ella; you held your breath and panicked. Before you could make any moves a sea of photographers swarmed you snapping pictures and shouting his name. In seconds chaos ensued. You looked around you seeing flash after flash in your face. The flashes made Ella scream and cry.

“Guys come on back up,” Chris forcefully began as he tried to force them back. You backed up, trying to maneuver closer to your car.

“Chris, who’s the woman and kid?” “Girlfriend, Chris?” “What happened to Lita? Thought things were getting serious?” “What’s your name?” Several photogs shouted one over the other. The loud commotion was becoming too much for Ella, whose cries turned into a full-on meltdown complete with arms and legs being thrown everywhere. You slipped through the swarm and put Ella in the car on Nexus’ lap before you dashed around to the driver’s seat. Some of the photographers followed you. Chris looked to you, and for a few brief seconds your eyes met. His lips moved, but you didn’t know what he said. You ducked in the car, but a photographer blocked you from closing the door.

“Move!” he didn’t. Instead, he continued snapping your picture. Your full-on mamma bear mode took over, and you kicked him back, making him fall into the street. You took the reprieve and slammed your door shut and wasted no time speeding off with the sounds of Ella’s irate screams and cries echoing in the car.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

TagList:

@sarahboseman @heyauntieeee @airis-paris14 @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-inspired @theunsweetenedtruth @ashanti-notthesinger @reignsxjackson @halfrican-heat @ambthegamer @simplyyamberr @muse-of-mbaku @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @maliadestiny @drsunshine97 @blowmymbackout @purplehairgawdess @thehuntoyobun @wakandamama @wakandawinning @profilia @zxddy-panther @h-challa @babygirlofwakanda @misswakanda2018 @ororowrites@hutchj @myfavemarvelfanfics @lavitabella87 @afraiddreamingandloving @autumn242 @purple-apricots @skysynclair19 @hersheyskissesss-blog @blue-ishx @90sinspiredgirl @tchallaswife @tchallamakesmeh0lla @turn-thy-paige @blackchickfics @blackpantherismyish @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @naturally-bri @flawlesslybeautiful14 @qweentbh@lunaerly @theoutereffect@twilight-sapphire-lover @pupyluv247 @stark-red19 @cockyboysandsugarism@maverickabull @madbadsiren @aykanna @myaw731 @ruruly20 @mixedmelanin @brittyevans @bezzywazhere@laketaj24 @soulsparker @theresnomoregoodones @syreanne@loveandcigarillos @heyauntieeee @heybriheyyy @wakanda-bcth @uhlxis @maliadestiny @dadinhas-heat @yaachtynoboat711@geeksareunique @bultalongthewayside @ajspencer1892 @captiansaveasmut @imaginewhoever @terrablaze514 @starsshines-blog @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade@darkandlovely94 @sithlordslut @wavyyc @naturalistamisslyn @nigarachi15 @madamslayyy @blackandfair @kreolemami @mylastnameisthe-fish @kaykay0829@chaneajoyyy @tequilajay27 @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @slimmiyagi @im5ftbutmythroat66 @jaeee-http@madhatterhelsing @sunflowerpsalms @wakanda-shit-is-that @deliciousstreetkidcroissant @jecourt @vebner37 @disneysdarlingdiva @melaninmarvel @alanastormborn@dolphinpink310 @wonderbell @ohleucothea @queentearra @bitchbetterhavemydinner @fentybabyy @kaykay4454fan @priya212 @kitkit1690 @chrismarcs @beautycomesindifferentformsworld @blackpantherimagines @ovohanna24 @sweetpeachjones @kslo000 @nubian-queen18 @omgsuperstarg @airis-paris14 @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @drsunshine97 @blue-ishx @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @prettyprincessushio @treeondrea @ursapharoh05 @blackpinup22 @kaytauru @big3gocandykahn @kissingpineapples @wildaboutchrisevans @fitfineandstayingalive @misspooh @michele-onel @gorjiss @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @muva-milaje @limbo-limbo-limbo @awkwardlyabstract @blxck-brxndie @meeky-imagines @inlovewith3 @metalarmlover @mellowjellow6 @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade@sweettea-and-honeybutter@thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @ursapharoh05 @treeondrea @ovohanna24 @marvelheaux @romanceoftheeveryday @mufasathatniggatho @cltex84 @sweetbearcolorgarden @msincognito67 @mosagram @lunaerly @mar-ta-3 @ljstraightnochaser @lewatigress @akimi-youngblood @bekahdean87 @jasmindaughteroftheworld@cocooned-butterfly @emoniclark22 @chereedrop619 @theblulife @niggarachi15 @drsunshine97 @msincognito67 @missdeerstalker15 @wakandamama @great-neckpectations @avenger-marvel-fan @arieljamiyla @vibranium-soul @monae-boss @queenxchallaxkillamonger@amirra88 @jaeee-http @omg-itsnadi @fonville-designs @sydneebleu @cherrystainedlipsbaby

****If the spacing is all messed up I apologize. I copy and past from Word and try to anticipate Tumblr messing up the spacing and fix it but once I push post everything always jumbled out. Sorry guys.

#love maybe fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #Chris Evans X black reader #chris evans x you #chris evans smut #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic

190 notes · View notes

royallyprincesslilly · 5 years

Text

Title: Love, Maybe? {6}

Chris Evans X Reader Vixen Giovanni

Series Warning: Plot, Cursing,Slow Burn, Angst (Tiny Bit)

Word Count: 2.8K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. 3 years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprised don’t stop there the past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 6: Opportunity Comes Knocking

-Vixen-

“This could be such an amazing opportunity Vix,” Nexus said.

You sat in your living room in a pair of comfy shorts, a tank, and a mega cup of filled with your Caramel Latte. Nexus was sitting beside you enthusiastically showing you the folder filled with the information on what she deemed as “the next step.” You looked to your left at Ella babbling on her playmat playing with various toys strewn across the mat. You smiled to yourself. It had been a brutal learning curve, but you were finally in a place where you were comfortable and happy with your life. You’d finally gotten to a place where you didn’t feel guilty or lonely—most nights.

“Hello, earth to Vixen.”

“Eh-woah, er’ ta ‘ixen,” Ella echoed. You smiled widely. Nexus put the folder down and scurried to Ella and threw herself in front of her and began playing with her.

“Who’s auntie’s favorite? Is it you? Is it Ella?”

Ella nodded enthusiastically and clapped her hands together. She truly did brighten every day. You sighed and took up the folder and perused it slowly. One of the many brochures said “it was an opportunity of a lifetime, sit on a panel of other chefs talk about cooking and everything related, plug your restaurant and rub elbows with the who’s who in the culinary world.” That did sound tempting. You knew it would be an incredible opportunity. Who knew who you’d meet and the connections they had that could be beneficial to you, and that was just the beginning. You chewed your bottom lip as you continued to read through the content.

When your eyes finally got to the location of this opportunity, your eyes bugged. Los Angeles, California. You groaned, closed your eyes, and pinched the bridge of your nose. Of course, it was LA. Why would it be anywhere else? The universe would never allow it to be anywhere like New York, or Miami or even Vegas. At the thought of Vegas, your mind flashed through all the memories of your drunken night.

After a few weeks when you returned home, your memory came back, and boy was it crippling. You remembered meeting him, remembered drinking together, laughing, talking, and playing poker with him. He was good, and that is how the two of you began giving each other wagers. First, it started small; whoever lost the hand the loser had to buy the next two rounds. Then they increased, whoever lost the next hand had to tell a secret. Then whoever lost the next hand had to divulge a fear, then a desire and before you knew it, the wager was huge. Someone from the crowd blurted out, “marry her.” You lost that hand but not without putting up a good fight.

That was only the beginning, from poker you went to the slot machines then more drinking and then you went to a strip club where you gave him a private lapdance that ended in the hottest kiss you’d ever had and him on one knee asking you to marry him. You didn’t think he was serious, but that didn’t stop you from saying yes. Next thing you knew you’d both gone to a jewelry store and picked out each other’s rings and within the hour you were Mr. and Mrs. and off to the hottest, most intense, passion-filled night of sex you’d ever had. Chris Evans was a freak with a capital F.

Your memory came back with a vengeance, and while you were confused you also understood, he was charismatic, funny, mysterious and yes hot but you sensed something else underneath the whole Hollywood thing, you’d sensed a person. When he talked about his family, friends, his fears and dreams, you saw the real person. He even told you that having a family that would never leave and he could build with and grow with and give a good life to would be his ultimate life’s purpose, but he had too much to accomplish first. You and he were the same, just different bodies and different genders.

Your eyes landed on Ella still playing with Nexus. Your scanned over her tiny features and bright eyes. She was now your life’s purpose. She was the most important thing to you, and you’d do anything to make her happy and protect her. You sighed again and looked back to the folder. If this opportunity was anywhere but LA you’d be jumping all over it, but the fact that it was in LA made you apprehensive. He lived in LA. You knew exactly where he lived. You’d tried hard to forget but never did. You never forgot anything after you finally remembered. It was all a movie on loop every night before you drifted off to sleep. Some nights it was a romantic comedy, but most nights it was a nightmare.

“What’s got you so zoned out?”

You looked up to Nexus and shook your head.

“Nothing. You’re right; this is an amazing opportunity.”

“So you’ll do it? I already filled out the paperwork just waiting to send it off,” Nexus informed.

You shook your head.

“I don’t know Nex; it’s LA. I can’t just up and go. What about the restaurant?”

“Uh, hello, you have me. I can more than handle it while you’re gone.”

“And what about Ella? I can’t just leave her.”

“You’ve never been anywhere without her except work, or school and back for three years Vix. You can go for a few days. Mom, dad, and I can take care of her. Plus, this is ultimately for her. Imagine if you go out there and rub elbows and get some sort of connect in the industry. That would be amazing.”

She was right. She knew all the buttons to push. It wasn’t fair. You looked at Ella again. It had been you and her against the world since you found out you were pregnant. You’d never thought to end the pregnancy, never thought to put her up for adoption even though you were eyeballs deep in debt, working all the time and using whatever else energy you found to stay at the top of your culinary program. You refused to quit. You couldn’t imagine life without her at this point. You rubbed your forehead and groaned.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Vix, the paperwork needs to be in tomorrow. There is no telling if this will come back around ever.”

You dropped your head back and stared at the ceiling. Fear was a powerful opportunity blocker.

“Is there another reason besides Ella you’re struggling with this?”

“Of course, there is, if I go to LA I could see him and then it would only be a matter of time before my life unravels.”

You took a deep breath and shook your head. You’d lied a lot in the last three years. You lied about what happened in Vegas; you lied about what happened when you disappeared from your friends for that night and the next day. You lied about your impromptu stop in LA; you lied about why you didn’t want to date. Lied about who Ella’s father was. Lied about why he wasn’t involved. Till this day your family knew nothing. You were tired of lying, but the alternative was more stressful. Plus the NDA was put in place for this reason, right?

“No, there’s nothing else.”

Nexus studied you with her hawk eyes. That girl could sift through a lie quicker and better than any detective. She didn’t look like she believed you, matter of fact from day one she looked as if she didn’t believe any of your bullshit. Now she looked like she was getting sick and tired of it. You got up and took Ella with you to the kitchen and began preparing her snack. Not too long after you felt Nexus’ hot glare on your back, you avoided her eyes. As Ella got older and older, the lies became harder and harder. She was beginning to look more and more like him, and you knew it was only a matter of time before the lies would have to stop.

“Vixen Star Giovanni.”

You groaned. The mention of your full name brought you back to childhood when your parents used it to signify you were in deep shit.

“Yes, Nexus Sun Giovanni?”

Both of you stared each other down, but after a few seconds, both of you laughed out loud. Soon Ella joined in. It always worked; the sound of both of your names out loud was just too much. You and Nexus joked all through your childhood that either your parents were high as hell when they came up with the names or they were some deep-rooted hippies. You handed Ella her cut up banana and graham crackers.

“’Ah koo.”

You kissed the top of her sandy blondish hair and placed her in her highchair beside the kitchen island.

“There is no hidden reason Nex, I just don’t want to leave my daughter.”

“You act like we’re strangers.”

“I know you’re not. Don’t take it that way.”

Nexus sighed and shook her head.

“I get it, but I think you should jump at this,” she finished.

You nodded.

“Got it.”

The three of you enjoyed the rest of the afternoon together watching cartoons, snacking, and playing with toys. It was your preferred way to spend a day. You didn’t remember the last time you stepped foot in a club or had a date. Adult life was overrated now; if it wasn’t work, then you took no parts in it; Ella was your favorite person, and you didn’t have the energy to pretend otherwise.

Nexus left a little after four when you put Ella down for her nap. You took the opportunity to clean up and get started on dinner. You knew Ella would be up in about two hours, and then it would be dinner, a little play, bath, and bed. While you cooked, you played your music on low and got lost in the joy you felt every time you cooked. You loved putting ingredients together to create something delicious or complex with contrasting flavors and aromas. It was your passion, and you were lucky to have been able to make a career out of it; not everyone was so fortunate.

After you’d finished making dinner, you sat down on the veranda with a glass of wine and your thoughts. As you sipped the wine, you looked to the box sitting on the small glass table and contemplated opening it. You knew what was inside. After several more sips and even deeper thought you did the inevitable and opened the box to reveal your diamond encrusted ring. You took it out and stared at it and allowed yourself to drift off. You knew it was pathetic to keep revisiting something that held no significance, but you couldn’t help it.

Since you realized you were pregnant, the first thing that came to mind was your mother’s stupid notion of fate. It was a concept you’d run from your entire life. You hated the idea of fate. The idea that you held no control of your own life, that some unseen force pulled the strings and you unavoidably followed the path set out for you. You believed in freedom of choice and good and bad decision-making being the culprit behind your life’s outcomes. Your pregnancy was like a slap in the face from fate, and it came with a painful sting.

Interestingly enough the day after you’d found out you were pregnant was the day you got the final paperwork for the divorce. Three and a half months from the day. You had a great big laugh at fate and chucked your middle fingers to it.

You sighed out; it was still a beautiful ring. He had good taste, even drunk. You groaned and finished the glass.

“God Vix, the man didn’t want you. How in the hell are you still hung up on this?”

You refilled your glass and drank some more. You hadn’t dared put it back on since LA. You took out your phone and went into your “Keepsafe” app and found the video. Your finger hovered over the play button, you chewed your bottom lip and thought if this was the smartest decision. Again, you sighed and pressed play. The video came to life, and instantly, you saw Chris at the alter waiting with the minister. He stood there with a grin from ear to ear in his cheesy costumed outfit. You pinched your lips together and held in the laugh. “Kiss the Girl” came on and you snorted. It was one of his favorite songs; he loved Disney songs.

Then you came into view in your equally cheesy costume and a grin to match his. If strangers watched this, they’d think you two were head over heels instead of shit-faced drunk. You slowly walked down the aisle to him as he swayed to the music. Then you heard him loudly imitate one of the animals in the background from the soundtrack. You busted out laughing and quickly covered your mouth in an effort to stop yourself. He smiled again more widely. Once you reached him, he leaned in to kiss you, but the minister placed the bible between your lips so they didn’t touch and shook his finger at you.

The ceremony began you held hands with your fingers interwoven like waffles. It was the way you preferred to hold hands, seemingly it was also his. The two of you never stopped smiling and staring at each other like teenagers. The introduction was quick and just a verse from Corinthians about love. You doubt any of it registered then; it did now though. Once the introduction was over, the vows were the generic plain ones. Chris went first and repeated after the minister delivering the lines with expertise.

Watching again, you were amazed he looked like he meant them. You scoffed and shook your head, dismissing the idea. Of course, he didn’t mean it; the ink was barely dry before a divorce was in the works. After he said his vows, he leaned in, trying to kiss you but was blocked again by the bible placed between you. You repeated the same vows and attempted to kiss him, but still, you were blocked. The minister finished his sermon and pronounced you husband and wife. Before he could get the words out, your lips crashed together. The kiss wasn’t a quick one, it lasted quite a while and wasn’t a demure kiss either.

Chris held your thigh up to his waist and pressed his body into yours. Your moans could be heard clearly as the two witnesses watched on awkwardly. Chris’ hands snaked around to your backside and squeezed. The two of you looked intimately comfortable with one another. When your lips separated the heat between the two of you could be felt even now. You cleared your throat, feeling yourself getting drawn into the past. The two of you walked back down the aisle with hands joined to the sounds of “Let’s Get it On” and laughing up a storm. Once the two of you got to the camera you kissed again and showed off your rings with broad smiles then the video stopped. You sighed, leaned back and finished the glass of wine with one gulp.

“That was a mistake, Vix.”

The rest of the night went by as routinely as always. Ella made a complete mess of herself and the floor, and you happily laughed and babbles with her. After dinner, you sat on the floor and played together with her dolls and watched her favorite movie. Once it finished, she scurried to the bathroom with you hot on her heels. You decided to join her in the bath and sang songs and played with the bubbles. Before the water chilled, you carried her out and prepped her for bed, read her two stories, and sang one song. By the time the song finished, she was fast asleep. You sat there and just watched her. As she slept, you heard soft snores that ended with innocent moans, and you couldn’t imagine a better way to end your day. After nearly an hour of watching her, you kissed her cheek and walked to your bedroom. You dropped the robe and lied in your soft sheets where you proceeded to think some more about the decision you were faced with. You bit your bottom lip and reached over for your phone. Nex was right, it was an amazing opportunity, and you couldn’t pass it up. You shot her a text knowing she was awake.

MSG: Send in the paperwork Nex. You’re right.

After a minute, your phone vibrated with a response.

MSG Nexus: I know I’m right. I’m glad you decided to listen to me for once.

You rolled your eyes, tossed your phone to the side, and drifted off to sleep.

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