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undinefin · 5 years

Text

アキレ〜さん〜お誕生日おめでとう〜

@red-dyed-sarumane SENPAI!!!!!!!!!!!! happy borth ur and old boy now and i did a cursed thing instead of writing something nice bc this was something that was brought up once and now its a must.

i hope u have a great day. buy the mic bitch.

Adopting Risru

im so sorry for everything here it gets really uncomfortable at certain points but never crosses anything i promise i just had to work with a lot of tropes that most often deal with love so. yknow. i promise i love you senpai and im supporting you 100% !!!!!! this wasnt an excuse to write sickly things!!!!!! i look forward to more utaite conversations~.

im not gonna read it over

Genre: cursed Word Count: 3877

The girl was sitting in her room, playing with her necklace solemnly. She sighed and began humming the melody to one of her favourite songs.

“Miwaku 1, 2, 3, kimi o tanjun ni, ubai satteshimau joudou, risei to no kyouhou,” she sang absentmindedly. Akire didn’t think of her voice as super amazing, but she’d been working hard on her range.

“Akire! Come downstairs I have a present for you!”

For a moment, Akire was confused. But then she remembered– it was her birthday!

As she made her way downstairs, Akire wondered what the present could possibly be. Maybe her mother would give her more money to buy albums but...thinking of the twenty something in her room it seemed unlikely. She could always hope though.

Akire heard a small noise. She looked down for a moment.

“Nani the fuck!!!!????”

Lying on the stair was her turtle Sui, on their back. Their toes were wiggling, trying to flip right side up.

Akire shook her head, “Sui, you’re such a dumbass.” The turtle looked at her. “Don’t you dare fucking piss.”

(this scene doesn't work anymore but FUCK man im still keeping it in)

Akire quickly returned the turtle to its tank and then finally made her way downstairs. But Akire was a clumsy baka so she tripped down the last three stairs.

“Itai yo!!!!!!” she shouted, like the damn weeb she was. She landed on her stomach, arms out. She lied there for a moment, tired.

Akire’s mother walked up. “Let’s go! We’re going to the pet store for your birthday!”

Akire shot up immediately. Would she finally be able to buy Water Vapor!?

“No more turtles though,” her mother said.

Akire pouted but understood. Her turtles were dumb. Cleaning their tank was work. Maybe she could get a cute little cat...

The idea of a cat got Super Nuko Ni Naritai stuck in her head. She began reciting the odd part at the beginning, making her mother shake her head in disappointment, but not surprise.

Upon finally reaching the pet store, Akire dashed inside. The cute dogs at the front of the store caught her eye immediately. She stayed at the windows where a bulldog, a golden retriever, and an Australian shepherd were playing. She was cooing and melting over their excitement.

A cat to her right caught her eye. Akire quickly moved onto the cats, watching the lazy balls of fur sitting, watching, waiting. They were so kawaii!!!!!!!!! She began singing Super Nuko Ni Naritai again, thanking the gods (Mafumafu) that it was in Japanese so no one could hear her inner furry.

“Hello! Have you heard of our new pet for sale?” a store clerk said, coming up to her.

Before Akire could even respond, the woman dragged her to the back of the store. In a cage was a small fox, a kitsune more accurately. The creature had odd navy fur, bordering on a dark violet. The orbs were an enchanting blue, curious, and unmoving.

“He’s only $42,069! So cheap for such a rare specimen!” the clerk said. She seemed desperate.

“Uhm-” Akire didn’t have that sort of money.

“Come on!!!!! He’s very cute.” As if to demonstrate this point, the clerk waved a treat in front of the glass. The kitsune perked up, but instead of doing a trick, he growled and scratched at the glass. When the treat didn’t magically osmosis through the glass, he backed up and crashed into the barrier, only to fall back into his cage.

“Cute...sure...” Akire said with suspicion.

“He’s just uhm...he takes some getting used to!” the clerk declared, seemingly more desperate.

Somehow, someway the gods above (Yukimi) must have carried Akire towards the cage, because before she knew it, she was standing in front of the creature.

Akire held out her hand, expecting the kitsune to start growling again. But instead the little fox sat and watched her. When Akire moved her hand to the side, it followed the movement.

“I think he likes you!” the clerk said rather forcefully. “You should buy him!”

Akire shook her head, “Oh I really don’t have that sort of money...I spend it on uhm, various musical interests.” Akire thought of her many albums.

Her mother walked up to the two. “Oh! What a cute little fox. Do you want him?” she asked her daughter.

“It’s expensive though...”

“How much?”

“$42,069,” Akire replied.

“Oh that’s perfectly fine!” her mother beamed. “It’s your birthday, we can afford it!!!!”

Akire watched as the poor kitsune was wrangled out of its cage. The creature didn’t seem to like the store clerks too much. Akire felt bad for him. He was kawaisou.

After the transaction at the counter, the store clerk turned to Akire. The creature was now in a small cage, with a leash (did....did leashes even work on foxes? Were you supposed to walk it???) and a blanket.

“What would you like to name him?”

Akire couldn’t explain why she thought of this name. Maybe it held some relevance to her in some other universe, perhaps it was the name of another utaite that she so loved.

“Risru,” she replied. The kitsune – now Risru – hummed at the sound, as if in approval (I really don’t know what to say here, really, what DOES the fox say. Like???? It doesn't bork does it??? no????????????? wa pa pa papapow! wa pa pa papapow!!)

***

At home, Akire was playing with Risru. For the first hour or so, he was curious, but still hesitant. He would only bring himself about a foot towards her, before scurrying off. The only thing that would keep him near her was a snack.

“Risru-chan! Kocchi kocchi!!!!” she cried. Akire waved a toy in front of her, piquing the curiosity of the kitsune.

The fox squeaked and jumped towards the toy, evidently landing in Akire’s lap. She rubbed behind his ears, giving him ALL the good rubs and pats. Risru stilled first, tense and uncertain. But after such pat, very rub, he calmed and leaned into Akire.

The time seemed to have flown by, and Akire was being called for dinner.

“So, how is he?” her mother asked.

Akire quickly responded, “He’s cute! I don’t know why he likes me though...I’m just super plain...”

Her mother chuckled, “Ha ha, maybe you’re just special!”

Akire rolled her eyes. “Special” she wasn’t special she was just a normal girl who definitely didn’t have magic powers or super strong strength or a great voice, s u r e.

She finished her dinner quickly and went upstairs. It was the ripe time of nine o’clock. Akire stopped by the bathroom mirror, catching herself and her very plain-boring-definitely-not-actually-super-pretty-and-will-cause-a-love-triangle appearance.

Her waist-length, brown hair hung, surrounded her face and simple brown orbs. Akire sighed, and didn’t mind whatever the mirror showed her. She began walking back to her room. Noticing the time, she sent out Oha’s to her favourite utaite.

“Silvana-oniichan!!! Ohayougozaimasu!!!!!!!!!!! And send tweet.”

As she walked into her room, she bumped into someone. The sudden crash surprised her, sending her phone out of her hand.

“Kyaaaaa~”

Suddenly Akire felt as though this was some school hallway. There were people staring as she fell down dramatically, her hair flowing majestically behind her.

She looked up and met with a face. If this was some dumb manga he’d be the new kid in school.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Oh no. He was hot.

The man helped her up. Akire felt all the blood rush to her cheeks as he did. His sapphire blue orbs twinkled, her reflection within them. His messy blue hair somehow flowed perfectly, cutely circling his face. Akire looked up further...were those...ears?

The man looked quite confused, “Akire-chan? Are you okay?”

Akire felt his hand touch her shoulder to check her condition. The touch sent tingles and shivers all over her body. Was this a good thing?

“Ah! Yes...arigatou...uhm...”

“Risru,” he finished for her.

It caught Akire off guard. “Ri..Risru-chan?”

He blinked – God (Isubokuro) even the way he blinked was perfect. His mouth pulled into a sweet smile, his teeth perfectly in line. “Yes, Akire-chan?”

Startled, Akire scurried back, tripping over her bottle of tea and falling onto the floor. “What...Risru...what happened!? WHAT!!???” She looked at him, now from a different perspective she noticed something. He didn’t have a shirt on! In fact, the only thing covering up his...member ( imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry ;)))))))))) was a random piece of cloth.

Akire turned her face away, not without a glance at his sculpted, fine, perfect abs. His six pack made her blush even more redder.

“Go put on a shirt! Or something!!” she demanded.

Risru quickly apologized and went to find one of Akire’s many oversized sweaters. He threw on Akire’s favourite MCR T-shirt and pulled his hair into a messy bu-

“What the fuck!! What the hell did you do with Risru-chan?? Give him back!” Akire somehow turned chibi and began hitting the full grown man with her fists like they did in the anime.

Risru laughed. His laugh was cute, admittedly. But...it’s not like she’d ever say that!!! Baka!!!!! The way his voice carried throughout the room, and sent warmth through her was nice. Akire would like to hear his laugh a lot.

Risru’s laugh was contagious. Akire found herself laughing as well.

“Kawaii,” he whispered, as if in awe.

“Eh???????????”

“You’re cute. Your smile is nice, I hope to see it more,” he said. “Yoroshiku onegaishimasu~~~” He bowed, showing off the cute, fluffy ears atop his head. But they were bad ears that were obviously made by an amateur furry artist because he also had his normal ears so he had four ears and it looked dumb.

Akire flushed EVEN harder. Her face was most certainly as red as Mafumafu-sama’s orbs. “Th-this still doesn’t explain what you did with Risru-chan!”

Risru scratched his head awkwardly, his ears twitching (the furry ones, not the human ones). “Well, I’m actually cursed by a great mage...” his tail swished sadly. “For 12 hours of the day I’m able to assume my normal form, for the other 12 I’ve been cursed to stay in the body of a-”

“Fox?”

“A human.”

Akire stared. “You...you’re supposed to be a fox?”

Risru looked extremely sad. He nodded.

“But...why would you want to be a fox?” Akire tried to ignore the very Shrek-Like Plot that Risru-chan had just presented to her.

Risru looked almost insulted. “The pets! The rubs! I’m so cute when I’m a fox, tons of people just wanna pet me. But after the curse I turned temperamental, that’s why I was so angry with all the staff at that store. Stupid human emotions.”

Akire just sighed, supposing that receiving physical affection was a good enough reason to want to be an animal. She supposed that being a fox also meant not having to go to school or work at all either.

“Akire?” he mother called up from the bottom of the stairs. “What are you yelling about up there??????”

Akire swore, “Risru-chan, you can’t be loud. I...I have to hide you! This is a secret, okay? You said for twelve hours?”

“Yeah from 8pm to 8am.”

“You can’t leave this room from those times. I promise I’ll take you out during the day when you’re a fox.” Akire bowed. “Hontou ni sumimasen!!!!”

Risru ruffled her hair, and smirked. “It’s okay, Akire-chan.”

***

The realization dawned upon Akire quite quickly. She had ordered Risru to stay in her room, and of course, that would mean he had to sleep in her room and well...

“Akire-chan, you’re wonderful, but I don’t want to sleep on tea stains! I want to be warm,” he pouted cutely.

There was only one bed.

Akire’s heart began to thump. No matter how much she tried to convince Risru to sleep on the floor, that she’d get fluffy pillows and sheets from elsewhere, he stubbornly refused it all.

“Aw c’mon! You get to wake up to a cute fox~” he teased.

Now, if this was a good story (or maybe this would actually make it better idk) Akire would realistically wake up at like 7 in the morning for her morning class (as a result, wake up to a Hot Man which honestly wouldn’t be too awful if youre like super thirsty or smt). But luckily, Akire-chan goes to ~~Animu School~~ so everything works out!!

Akire conceded, “Fine! But you have to sleep as far away from me as possible!”

And so they went to bed. Akire huddled into the far-left side, letting Risru spread out on the right. She tried desperately not to think of his cute grin and Rock Hard Biceps, eventually falling asleep.

Akire tossed and turned all night, feeling trapped in her sleep. At one point, she seemed to hit something in her sleep, eliciting a grunt from whatever she hit.

As promised, the next morning a small Kitsune was resting under her arm. His cute nose twitched in Risru-chan’s sleep. Akire slowly woke him up, and he yowled (I DON'T KNOW WHAT SOUND THEY MAKE IM SORRY) before climbing all over her for pets.

Wait...how did he get under her arm if he only recently turned into a fox??????

“I wonder...” Akire mused. “Oh well!! Maybe he was just cold.”

--Taimu skippu to 2 weeks later—

Akire how now been living with Risru for two weeks...you know what that means dear readers....fourteen nights................

It was Winter Break (for the sake of this story we’re not going to change the times despite it not really making sense, even though I could do it very easily tis FINE WHATEVER) !!! Akire usually never went away, so she was extremely excited to stay home and do Absolutely Nothing.

“Akire dear,” her mother called. “You’ll be alone for the next week okay??? I’m going on a trip with your father!!!!!!! Stay safe!!!”

Akire gasped. Her parents away for the entire time that meant....she turned to the small blue fox who was playing with one of her dogs – the one that liked Amatsuki.

She would be alone with Risru-chan for an entire week!!!!!!

So, you know EXACTLY what happened :))))))))))))))

AKIRE DID LOTS OF TWITCASTSS!!!!!!!

Sometimes Risru would join in, doing duets to songs like Myoujou Galactica and providing the Scream during Hibana since Akire couldn’t (yet).

“Twitcasting is really fun with you, Risru-chan,” Akire exclaimed. “Your voice is so nice,” she continued.

Risru noticed the expression on her face, the way her golden orbs seemed to lose their glow, and how her smile was turning upside down. “Eh, I think your voice is nicer though,” he said simply.

“Uso darou!!!!!!! There’s no way!!” Akire threw a pillow at him.

Risru threw the pillow back in response. This resulted in a full on pillow fight between the two of them. At one point, Risru managed to hit her right in the face, and she began to laugh.

“Kawaii......bishoujo.......deshu...”

“Baka!!! Urusai!!” Akire shouted. She shot the pillow back towards him. Eventually Risru tackled her, his bulging muscles stopping her from moving.

“I think you’re great at singing, and you’re very cute,” Risru whispered into her ear. He smelled like cigarettes and coffee (risru never touched either of those in his life but that's showbiz babey).

Akire found herself getting embarrassed from the words. “Baka!!!” she threw him off and dove into bed. Risru was still smirking when she peaked her head over.

And then he kabedon’ed her to the wall, suddenly he was wearing a leather jacket and his jawline was perfect, cutting. His orbs were an animal’s, rough and filled with passion, hunger. Using a deeper, throaty voice, he growled, “What’s up?” He flicked his head up and did the weird man-nod thing.

Akire smirked, “The sky.”

Risru almost pouted, “What!? You don’t...buy my Bad Boy Act??? This is so strange. NO ONE has ever resisted my charms!! This is a travesty!”

Akire flipped her hair, “I guess I'm not like other girls.”

Risru was now legally contracted to get Akire to fall under his cute charms so she could give him all the pets.

(this is the part in the wattpad fanfiction where things start taking a very dark and somewhat unexpected turn. If I cared to actually write it, it would go something like this:

“No!! You can’t take Risru away! He’s just like you and me!” Akire cried out desperately. But it was too late. The Furry Collectors had already muzzled the fox and were muttering amongst themselves.

Akire resolved that she would save Risru no matter what.

This would be the training montage and Akire would become very good at nearly everything in the span of about two months, including things like knife throwing, dodging, jiu-jitsu and maybe like wrestling or something. Definitely a badass with a sword or something.

Her trainer is an old man and she left a note to her parents explaining that she was on an exchange and they for some reason didn’t question it.

Akire stealthily made her way around the premises of the iron-clad building. She evaded all of the traps and managed to successfully beat up the guards outside.

Once inside, she located the control room, where she shut off all the power. Suddenly, all the furries began running out of their cages. Some of them were in human form, with tails and ears sticking out. Others were still animals, dogs, cats, and the like running away.

Akire threaded through the mass of furries, trying to find Risru.

“Risru-chan!” she called, running from room to room.

Eventually, she reached a room with very big doors that said “BOSS” on them.

“This must be the boss room,” she concluded.

The doors automatically opened, and Akire stepped inside. Immediately she saw Risru in his human form, stuck behind bars.

“Akire-chan!” he cried out. “You have to run, it’s not safe here.”

Akire’s orbs glinted with determination, “I’m not leaving here without you.”

“Well, well, well,” a low voice said from behind her. Akire turned and saw a figure emerge from the shadows. “Look what we have here.”

“Let him go!!” Akire drew her sword, holding it by her side. She charged at what seemed to be a slightly older man. His eyes flashed purple and he grinned, drawing two swords.

The two engaged in an epic fight, with Risru watching helplessly from the sides.

“Muahahahahah!!! You are a foolish little girl,” the man declared. “My project is almost complete. By midnight, your little fox’s worst dream will come true,” he sneered.

“No!” Akire shouted. She delivered a blow to his arm, knocking one of the swords out of the Villain’s hands.

“Yes! He will become a full human!!”

Akire gasped, her confusion stunning her for a moment. “YOU MONSTER! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM!?” Risru howled from the side out of despair. Akire felt her heart growing heavy. Risru-chan didn’t deserve any of this!!

Fueled by anger, Akire pulled out her ultimate weapon, a shiny red button.

“I only wanted to save Risru-chan. But I can’t forgive you,” Akire said sternly. Her eyes were shaded by her bangs, and the shading around her pupils looked different to signify how serious she was getting.

Akire clicked the button she had and was suddenly enveloped in light. She was lifted into the air, and her eyes closed calmly. Suddenly, all of her clothing was being replaced with stuff that looked like it was from an idol game, her hair was being done up, and her sword was growing bigger.

Some random angel choir seemed to be singing one of her favourite songs, yet again.

“春と黒髪　夏の浅瀬　秋色の頬　冬は寝起きの悪い君も”

Akire turned all her attention on Villain-san and charged at him with her power. “You won’t get away with this!” she cried out.

The villain was overwhelmed, he screeched as Akire knocked him unconscious.

“ボクはボクはどれも好きだったよ”

Akire turned to Risru, who was still locked in the cage. She raised her hand and some weird magic energy flew out of it, blowing up a portion. Risru-chan ran out, meeting Akire for a hug.

“山紫水明　染まる君と　百花繚乱の日々よ　記憶の彼方へ”

Risru’s shirt was ripped, showing off his Rock Hard Abs. “I missed you so much Akire-chan.”

“Me too Risru-chan. I was so worried,” she exclaimed. “All my training, everything paid off.”

“I knew you could do it. After all, kimi wa boku no (pico) kawaii bishoujo desu.”

Akire’s chocolate orbs sparkled, “Of course, I’m not like other girls.” She threw on her favourite MCR sweatshirt, and threw her hair into a messy bu-

An alarm went off in the building. People were scattering, running around causing a panic. One scientist ran past them, “It’s gonna blow! Our great overlord has fallen!! Someone carry his body out!!”

“ずっと見惚れたい”

Risru held her hand and they ran out of the building, Akire’s magical girl appearance slowly falling, leaving her in the clothes she came in.

“ずっと触りたい”

They reached a window, but it was high up, at least four stories. “We’re going to have to jump,” Risru said, his voice trembling. “Hold onto me, okay Akire-chan?”

“さよなら　さよなら”

Risru leaped off of the building with inhuman skill (bcos he is a furry and anime logic) landing safely on the ground. The two quickly began to run.

Behind them the building was being ripped apart with white threads, slowly turning orange before the iron and metal makings broke, the explosion setting the nearby trees on fire. The sound and vibrations tore at their ears. Shrapnel from the bombs was flying everywhere, and the energy of the impact caused the forest to pulse.

For a time, Akire couldn’t hear. But she could feel the heat of the explosion as she ran away from it, Risru by her side.

“季節の”

It was pretty epic.

“折々にて”

Yeah I think it would go like that. And then after she’d return her magical girl button to her trainer and come back home as if nothing happened and they didn't just get rid of some furry-destroying organization. But in reality this would never finish bc wattpad writers have a hard time transitioning from slice-of-life to action and their action scenes usually suck no offense)

--taimu skippu to less than a year later—

“Surprise!!!!! Otanjoubi omedetou!!!!!!!!” Risru exclaimed.

From behind his back, he pulled out a small gift that was horribly wrapped. Akire guessed that the fox did his best, but if he wasn’t allowed to leave during the night...he definitely wrapped it in fox form.

Akire unwrapped the box, inside was a microphone.

“Ri-Risru-chan....” she teared up.

The boy’s ears twitched with excitement.

“How did you even buy this?”

Risru smirked, “Don’t worry about the details! Hatsutoukou o tanoshimi ni shitemasu!!!!!!”

~ and they lived happily ever after ~

:)) i hope you enjoyed that. please dream about buff risru who's plot revolves around shrek and anime and wattpad. thank u for hitting up my inbox so you could drag me further into utaite hell and i hope u get lots of albums

#do i even tag this as utaite #i really dont want to #this shouldnt plague the utaite tag #writing #my writing #CURSED #PLEASE DONT OPEN THIS #fanfic

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carrotcouple · 6 years

Note

I was thinking this morning about how chibi ebisu interacts with the other gods of fortune (I'm counting yato bc he's a fuckin god of fortune okay) but kofuku and bisha and the others are p used to him reincarnating a lot right? do they have any traditions or like pranks they play on him since he doesn't know? does ebisu leave himself notes about the pranks so he knows they're coming? do the shinki get involved? basically how do the other gods of fortune interact with newly reincarnated ebisu

OK, but this is like a huuuuuuuuge issue for Ebisu. You know the little black notebook he’s always carrying around?

The one. He’s got gazillions of those filled with schedules, appointments, thoughts, doodles, little depressing ‘I wanna sleep forever’s written there and of course, warnings for the next reincarnation cause well shit, we ain’t gonna have Kofuku going around and kissing every new baby Ebisu just cause he’s sweet and cute, it would signal the apocalypse.

Well, obviously when it comes to Kofuku, the shinki intervene as well, always carrying around sacred purifying salt if they get wind that she might be in Takamagahara. Kofuku dealt with right there.

Then of course there’s Ookuninushi. Listen, this man is a force of nature, the head of Izumo, the people’s favorite and he wears sunglasses with yukatas and rides motorbikes with pet bunnies in tow. Friend or not, Ebisu must have left notes to himself ‘don’t let this is weird af man influence you, although he’s a good guy’. Ookuninushi in normal circumstances, is probably like: big, really strange dad that’s never home for Ebisu. He brings Chibisu treats whenever he drops by, checks what he’s been up to and ‘hey how’s the reading going, wanna stroke my pet bunny’s fur?’ Moreover, Ookuninushi probably also really annoys Chibisu cause he’s always treating Ebisu like a little kid, regardless of his age really.

Look at his face, ‘no sorry, Ookuninushi, I really appreciate you came to see me and you’re like one of my best estranged God friends, but I’m like what - thirty something now. I’m a big boy, stop poking your nose into my business.’ So obviously, Ebisu leaves behind notes like ‘hey I know you want to get mad and pouty cause he’s making fun of you for reading so slow, but don’t take it out on the black scraper fish, kay?’ (reference to ‘picture book lessons’ omake). ‘Also p.s. beware of hugs, there’s big and warm and nice and disgusting. NO HUGS.’

Then comes Bisha, of course. At the top of all the Bisha related pages in those little black notebooks ‘See if she’s tired of her hafuri yet or if her hafuri is tired of her. Lol, steal him.’ Ebisu doesn’t know how to handle women, especially really nice ‘lemme take care of you, I’m mom material’ types. He really likes it, he does, but he’s never wanted to get close to his fellow Gods cause he dabbled in ayakashi naming. So he probably has a note like ‘don’t let your guard down around her, don’t let the walls weaken.’ cause really all his life he’s wanted a mom figure and Bisha is well Bishamom. Bisha brings Chibisu flowers, memorizes all of his favorites, brings by anything that he’s mentioned even once like ‘hey, Bishamonten san, have you heard of taro bubble milk, I hear the humans like it a lot’ and then she brings it to him the next day. Listen, I see Ebisu as the kind of person who grows up really curious about a lot of things but is also so lazy he’s just like ‘no too troublesome to deal with,’ that describes his relationship with Bisha and so he doesn’t get close to her either. In legendary black notebook number 150 ‘she’s not your mom, so you can just hide whenever her mom-side takes over’.

In relation to the others apart of the ‘Seven Lucky Gods’:

Juroujin - Ebisu is a kind kid, he takes care of baby kittens, feeds the poor, helps the eldery. So basically, although no one knows wtf Juroujin is even talking about as his toothless mouth chatters in time to the violent trembling of his spine, Chibisu helps him walk to meetings even though he has perfectly capable shinki and the like. So he probably has notes in his notebook along the lines of ‘find a good day to take Juroujin to the dentist’, ‘get Iwami to check out his schedule for days he needs help crossing the streets’ and the like. Juroujin will give him some really old molasses candy, pat him on the head for anything nice he does and go on his way.

Hotei - Ebisu hates Hotei with a passion. Here Ebisu is working his ass off till three in the morning ‘hey I’m a fifteen year old and I’ve already had like five shots of super black coffee already and the day hasn’t even started’ and Hotei sits there eating pizza with earphones in his ears, seriously this guy was sitting a Kamuhakari with earphones plugged in and not giving a damn about the Japanese Economy like ‘Excuse me, sir, but about your food expenses, I’ve got a pretty long speech,’

So in the end his notes on Hotei amount to ‘seriously, don’t pay attention to him, it’ll itch you for the next thousands of years otherwise.’ Chibisu stares sometimes and Hotei will randomly offer him a bag of chips if he notices Chibisu staring and that remains that. They keep their safe distance.

Fukurokuju - In legendary black notebook 134: ‘old fashioned man, a little over reactive but over all makes sense, having a conversation with him isn’t so bad.’ also added in a little scribble underneath ‘it’s fun teasing him’. Cause face it, Ebisu likes teasing old men, do you even see what he does with Kuraha? Moreover, the rest of the Seven Lucky Gods love teasing him too, so Chibisu actively takes part in pranking him and somewhere along the way, every Chibisu records an elaborate ‘hey I’m back from the dead prank’ and it gets better every time with every new incarnation trying to one over the previous ones and of course, the rest of the Seven Lucky Gods pitch in to help and Fukurokuju is caught in the trap every time.

Benzaiten - Ebisu is proabably kind of wary of her. She gives the ‘I’m a tiger with my claws in only at the moment’ big sister kind of vibe. But he does have notes like ‘be polite to her, if you are, she visits with homemade cookies and fuzzy slipper and sweaters’. He probably has elaborately written notes on how to knit cause if he doesn’t at least know how it works she slams in through the front door like his worst nightmare and forces him to learn without Kunimi’s help (it doesn’t work, she always ends up passing out while driving herself crazy from trying to make him even hold the needles right.)

As for pranks, when he’s younger, they’re much subtler pranks. The Seven Lucky Gods will somehow switch his grey vest with a bright pink one when Kunimi or Iwami aren’t looking, or sneaking into Ebisu’s office and filling it with balloons or convincing Ebisu that helium balloons are normal balloons filled with sweet tasting air ‘go ahead and taste the air while I whip out my phone to record some really good stuff’. When Ebisu hits teenager stage them Ookuninushi starts to legit misplace all of his clothes and drive Ebisu and his shinkis crazy. When Ebisu hits adult stage, all hell breaks forth and all the Seven Lucky Gods are in on these pranks and because it’s unfair to only target Ebisu, they all start forming secret alliances and betraying each other and crawling in through each others windows and into their closets and bathrooms at like four in the morning. It becomes the worst war zone ever. Takamagahara is on red alert and holding it’s breath until the war dissolves. And as expected Ebisu has a secret bookshelf of past notes labelled as ‘War Survival 101′.

And of course this all comes down the most important note handed down to each Ebisu ‘Listen kid, if you don’t learn how to read at the speed of light so you can read all these notes, you’re dead meat. Good luck, my work here is done.’

Bonus:

He’s still compiling information on a certain God.

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