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oddinary4bts · 10 months

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Love is a Laserquest | choi san

☆summary: years after your break-up, Choi San comes to you for help. In an attempt to save his life, you escape to your uncle's cabin in the woods far from civilization. Will nostalgia and longing make you fall again, or is Choi San just spinning more lies to you?

☆pairing: gangster!Choi San x female!reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI)

☆genre: gangster au, exes au, angst, smut, a smidge of the one bed trope

☆warnings: guns/gun violence (mentioned), knifes/stabbing (mentioned), a bounty over San's head, death of a minor character (named Jungkook my bad), blood, injuries, stitches, probably some wrong medical terminology bc optometrists don't stitch up people lmao, a panic attack, cursing, pet names, explicit content: oral sex (female receiving) -> face riding, let me know if I forgot any!

☆word count: 16.5k

☆a/n: Here's my submission for Outlaw: The Project hosted by @ssaboala. It is coincidentally my first time posting about another group than bts, so I hope this won't disappoint! I really enjoyed writing it (even though it's really sad oop). Also my first time making a moodboard so hopefully it works haha

☆a/n pt2: thank you to @moonleeai for being my ever-so faithful beta reader, love you lots <3

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And do you still think love is a Laserquest? Or do you take it all more seriously? I’ve tried to ask you this in some daydreams that I’ve had But you’re always busy being make-believe

Love is a Laserquest – Arctic Monkeys

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The diner is silent, unoccupied. It always is on late weekday evenings, when most patrons have gone to bed, the city falling under a carpet of hushed silence only night can bring forth. It makes the diner feel like it’s straight out of a 70s movie, and it makes for the perfect study sessions too.

Night isn’t always soundless in your part of town. Hence why you’ve been trying to escape, pursuing an education that has been leaving you penniless, but with a bright future ahead. If you make it out of med school at a certain point, that is.

Tonight, you fear the peace that night usually entails has been ruined for you – there were gunshots earlier, close enough for you to see the police cars racing past as the law officers made it to probably yet another gang fight.

There’s been a gang war on your side of town. The diner has always been safe, a refuge for both sides of the war, where they aren’t allowed to fight. To carry in weapons and hatred. No, the moment they cross the threshold of the diner, the gangsters become one family, sharing struggles that only poverty can cause.

You wipe a table clean before walking back towards the counter. Your open laptop waits for you, and you quickly read the study guide you’ve made for yourself, the cardiovascular system and its pathologies forming a maze in your mind that you’ve yet to decode. Luckily enough, you still have a week before the bloc ends and you have to take the exam.

Plenty of time to cram everything about the heart in your thick little skull, you’d say.

Your lips move in time with what you’re reading, attention solely focused on the bright screen when a thump is heard right outside the door. It startles you, and you turn around to see the empty street out of the glass door.

It takes you about ten seconds to notice the dark form sitting on the ground. They’re leaning against the door, head lolling to the side. You assume it must be someone that’s ended unhoused, something that happens far too often where you live.

You’ve always been kind. When you were younger, you were told your kindness would be your demise. Yet you’ve never been able to be anything but kind, even though sometimes it might put you at risk. So you can’t resist but walk to the front door, trying to push it open.

It’s useless – the weight of the person is keeping it tightly shut, though they do straighten a little, as if coming to their senses. They turn, and the moment their profile comes into view you’re brought back eight years in the past. To a time when the world was still a beautiful place, void of violence and cruelty. To a smile so sweet it made flowers blossom on your heart, and to eyes so sharp you knew they had read your soul.

Choi San is sitting outside the door, and the caked blood on his cheek tells you enough – he’s injured. He pushes away from the door before slowly getting up. He clutches his side as he does it, yet when he turns back towards you and faces your horrified eyes, he still offers you a smirk.

You push the door open, thinking about the years between then and now. You had dated him for a few months that had felt like forever, until you had realized in what kind of business he was getting involved with. You had tried to convince him to flee before it was too late, and he kept promising that he would.

Only he never did, hiding lies with beautiful words that made your teenage self swoon, until your parents had realized and forced you to break up. It had been a nasty break-up, filled with hatred and words you didn’t mean yet had needed to say for him to leave.

You remember breaking his heart like it was yesterday.

“Choi San,” you greet him, and when he lets go of his side, you notice blood on his hand.

Something runs cold inside of you, even though he still sports a smirk on his lips.

He says your name, bowing his head. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Months, in fact. Because he does come to the diner sometimes. He usually ignores you, and so do you, so it feels strange to have him speak to you. To hear his voice as his words are addressed to you.

“What…” you trail off, glancing down at the ripped fabric of his black tank top.

He’s got a mean cut on his ribs, and it’s only then that you truly realize that he’s badly injured. Because there’s more – one of his biceps has been sliced open too, though blood is barely oozing out of it in small rivulets. The blood on his cheek is from where you assume he’s been punched with rings, and there’s already an underlying bruise under his eye.

“Got beaten up,” he states the obvious, and you immediately open the door wider to let him in.

He limps in, heading towards the nearest booth, where he plops down and lets out a pained grunt. You make sure no one is outside before shutting the door and locking it, flipping the hanging sign on it so it says closed in case a patron decides to show up.

You take a few steps towards San, hands shaking slightly at your side. Because that’s a grown man, bleeding out on the leather seat of the booth, and his eyes are shut though he looks in pain. You don’t know what you’re supposed to do. You haven’t yet started your residency, haven’t really gone from theory to practice… Yet you’re studying to be a doctor, are you not?

“Why are you here?” you ask, though you’re pretty sure you know the answer.

“Didn’t know where else to go,” he says, wincing as one of his eyes opens. He tilts his head to look towards you. “Word around the block says…” he pauses, takes a deep breath before continuing, “that you’re studying to be a doctor”.

So you are right. He’s here because he needs your help, and you’re not quite sure how you feel about it.

“Why…” You look for words, and it takes you a moment to realize that it doesn’t matter.

For all the history between you and him, Choi San doesn’t deserve to bleed out to death on a cheap leather seat in a forgotten diner on the dangerous side of town.

He has the decency to chuckle at the start of your question, which only makes him wince in pain once again.

“Don’t move,” you tell him, and it’s a little stupid because clearly, he’s in no state to move.

He doesn’t question it, and you run to the kitchen to thoroughly wash your hands and grab the first aid kit. At night, no cooks stay around, and you usually only reheat food if needed, which doesn’t really happen. You haven’t had any client coming in at night in weeks… until San, that is. So no one is there to see what is going on, which you reckon is a relief. Because you have no idea what’s going on.

You return to the booth where San is waiting, patiently. He’s clearly wiped his hand on his face because there’s fresh blood on his forehead, and you almost balk at the sight of it.

“What have you done?” you mutter, more to yourself than to him.

It seems he’s still in sync with you because he still hears. “Got involved with the wrong crowd.”

You put the first aid kit down on the table, ignoring his eyes when they flutter open, and he rests his gaze on you.

“I don’t know if I can help you,” you say as you unzip the kit and throw it open. You spare his side a quick glance. “This looks like you’re going to need stitches.”

He makes an effort of looking down at himself, though it mostly fails as he doesn’t raise his head from the seat. “Right.”

You grab everything you think you might need – alcohol swabs to clean his skin, fresh linen to bandage his side and arm, and stuff for his cheek too. He carefully observes you, with that piercing gaze of his that used to make you go crazy inside when you were young and impressionable.

You vaguely motion at him, and he cocks an eyebrow. “What?”

“Are you able to sit up?” you ask. “I can’t reach you if you’re lying back like this.”

His pink tongue darts to wet his lips, and he nods curtly. “Let me…” he trails off, resting a bloody hand on the table while he grabs at the back of the booth to push himself up. It has new blood appearing on his side, and you quickly move towards him, putting some linen against it.

As if it’s going to do anything. He clearly needs stitches, and you’ve got nothing with you to stitch him up.

“Fuck,” he curses lowly as he’s finally sitting. You just keep the linen on his side, eyes a little wide.

Your gazes connect inevitably, and time slows. You think about how he used to smile, how his eyes used to hold a softness you haven’t had the chance to see again since he’s walked out of your life.

Or rather, since you kicked him out of your life.

“I don’t think I can help,” you whisper, and his eyes flicker to your lips.

“I can’t go to the hospital,” he admits, shame turning his features into a mask of regret. “They… If they find me, I’m dead.”

Dread fills every ounce of your being. “San, what have you been doing?”

He looks away from your insistent gaze, scoffing slightly. “You don’t want to know.”

He isn’t wrong; you genuinely don’t want to know. Because he means nothing good, even with all the memories you share with him.

“Is it going to put me in danger?” you ask, as he still obstinately avoids your gaze.

He seems to freeze in front of you, as if you’ve pressed pause to your favourite show. To avoid the awkwardness, you busy yourself with grabbing one of his hands so he can hold the linen in place before you start washing the cut on his arm. It’s not deep, but you’re pretty sure it’ll still leave a mean scar, especially considering he can’t go to the hospital.

The thought has a drop of cold sweat roll along your spine. People want him dead. People want Choi San, the man you know as a young, scared teenager just trying to find a way to make his life better, dead. You remember the innocence in his smile – has he smiled at all in the years apart?

“I should go,” he says flatly. He moves to stand, but you hold him down, two hands firmly placed on his shoulders. It makes him wince, and you quickly release your grip.

“Don’t,” you tell him. “Let me at least patch you up.”

His eyes shut again as his head hangs low. “I am so sorry.”

You don’t even know who he is apologizing to, or why he is. All you know is that it causes your heart to clench in your chest, stealing the breath from your lungs.

When you were younger, you believed San was your star-crossed lover. You believed your high school sweethearts romance would grow until you’d be old and grey and at the end of a very long road. You had dreamed of a future with him, the way only teenagers can dream – with no sense of reality. Because your reality had never been to end up by his side.

His choices had been proof enough of it.

You still remember the day you first kissed. Under an August meteor shower, with just the night sky as your witness. It had been hesitant, slow and soft, just like everything with San. And you had believed the lie, trusted it with every beat of your little heart, until your parents had found out the truth about him.

Until they had broken your heart, even before you had broken his.

If the stars had known then, what was going to happen to you and Choi San, would they still have shone through the night?

He lets out a pained sound as you gently dab at the cut on his bicep. You clean the skin around the wound in and of itself, and he watches you carefully, piercing gaze not missing how your face clouds with memories.

“How have you been doing?” he asks so softly you think his words are a gentle summer breeze on your features.

You can almost still smell the summer night air of that field where you had stargazed, where you’d always meet so long ago.

“I’ve been okay,” you answer, truthfully. Because even though you haven’t seen him, you have lived your life apart from him. Have evolved without him by your side. “Better than you, visibly.”

He didn’t expect the joke. It makes him snort, and then a soft smile grows on his lips, softening the edges of his hard features. “You haven’t changed.”

You have, and yet you haven’t. Like him, you think there’s a part of you that is still sixteen, and will forever be. A part of you that remained stuck in the moment when you watched him walk away in the rain, as if even the sky had to cry for his broken heart.

“Wish I could say the same about you,” you murmur, nostalgia a melancholic song in your words.

He chooses to remain silent, because the proof of how much he’s changed is sitting right in front of you, wounded and bleeding and hurt. The hurt is behind his eyes, in the shadows of the past that have also been obscuring your vision.

“Yeah,” he lets out, barely audible.

And then silence reigns between you, because as much as you once loved him, eight years have made you strangers. You don’t know anything about his life except the dirty, obvious darkness that surrounds him, and he doesn’t know anything except that you are studying to be a doctor…

Which leads you to wonder how does he know in the first place?

You ask him, as you’re wrapping the linen around his bicep to make a makeshift bandage. You’re proud of the result, though your fingers can’t resist but linger on the taut skin over his muscle, surprised at how soft it still is.

“I’ve heard you mention it,” he admits, as you take a step away to look at the material on the table, as if it’ll suddenly make stitches appear for you to put them in his skin. “One of the times I was here.”

“You never said hi,” you reproach him, unable to hide the ghost of a bite in your tone.

“Neither did you,” he points out, and he isn’t wrong.

All you can do is purse your lips as you finally decide to clean his skin. But for that, you have to rid him of his tank top, to make sure there’s no fabric in the wound. You look at him, cheeks somehow burning even though all you’re doing is taking care of a patient.

Though he’s not a patient, and you’re not in a hospital. You’re just a server at a dusty, old diner and he’s just your teenage lover, wounded by his dangerous actions.

“Should I grab scissors to remove your shirt?” you ask, though you’re speaking to yourself more than to him.

He still finds it in him to tease. “You want me out of my shirt?” he enquires, smirk gracing his lips again. “Say no more.”

He tries moving, but you hold up a hand to stop him. “Don’t,” you warn. “You’ll make it bleed more.”

He purses his lips, because nodding. “Right.” He glances at the first aid kit, before his eyes trail to your face again. “You got scissors in that?”

There are. You grab them, before turning towards him. It feels strange: you’ve never undressed him before. You had always wanted to wait, back then, before you slept together. You believed you were too young, and San had always respected it.

“Let me know if I hurt you,” you tell him as you take a step closer to him.

He slightly leans back, furrowing his eyebrows. “What do you plan to do with those that might hurt?”

You roll your eyes, playfully, before taking the two other steps leading to right in front of his legs. You notice that they are slightly parted, allowing you to come closer, and you take a steadying breath before reaching between you, pulling at the fabric of his tank top.

“Stay still and you shouldn’t get hurt,” you whisper, ignoring the heaviness of his piercing gaze on you.

It burns right through you, and you have to tame the beats of your heart at the feeling of the warm skin of his shoulder against the back of your fingers as you bring your other hand forward, until you’ve started cutting his shirt.

It’s stuck to his side where blood has dried, and he winces but remains still and silent as you keep going, pulling on it a little harder to be able to cut. The moment stretches into infinity, because you can’t help but take your time. It reminds you of how you’d used to run your fingers on his back, under his shirt, when you napped in the field in the summertime. In an idyllic world where gangs and violence and war were mere inventions of the media, and not a reality that surrounded you.

You’d loved the field. The wildflowers, the open air, the way it was just you and him and a few lazy bumblebees as clouds lazily crossed the sky above. You were so young then, so innocent. Hands unstained from blood, from his blood.

Because as you cut, the hand touching his shirt stains with blood. You pale at the sight of it, but you keep going, pushing through until you’re done, gently pulling the fabric from his body until he’s sitting there, shirtless, with a long wound on his ribs.

You can’t help but notice his toned chest and the defined abs on his stomach. Though blood mars his skin, turning it into a piece of violence, Choi San is still beautiful. Beautiful in a dark, dangerous way that has you glance outside, making sure no one is looking.

But the streets are empty, void of life at this time of the night. At least, they mostly always are.

“You will need stitches,” you state again as if you both don’t know already.

“I can’t…”

An idea forms in your brain. It’s a stupid idea, and you don’t even know why it crosses your mind.

Your uncle has a hunting cabin far in the woods. He’s a nurse himself, and he’s always kept everything over there in case someone got injured and he had to stitch them up. You haven’t gone in forever, but you still remember the tall trees, the deep forest scent that reminds you of autumn and leaves and grey days spent reading by the fireplace.

You never went hunting, but you did accompany your father when he went, needing an escape from the city once in a while. An escape from a life that was slowly becoming too real.

Your uncle is currently halfway across the country, so you know you’d be alone at the cabin. You glance at your laptop over your shoulder – you have three days off in front of you before your next class on Monday. Indeed, the Friday class is pre-recorded and to watch online in your free time, and you figure you can always watch it some other time.

So you turn towards Choi San, almost surprised that he’s real and he’s still sitting in front of you, honey skin cut open on his ribs.

“I might know a place where you can go,” you admit, with a small voice, surprising both you and him. Because you doubt he expects you to want to help, after tonight.

“What?” he asks.

“My uncle’s cabin,” you remind him, because you’ve told him about it all those years ago. “He should have all that I need to stitch you up.”

San looks down at himself. “You’ve just cut my shirt open.”

It sounds a little dumbfounded, and you can’t help the nervous laugh that falls from your mouth. Because even though it doesn’t look too deep, the wound still is terrifying in and of itself.

“I’ll bandage it,” you whisper. “Before we go.”

He seems like he ponders for a time. You watch the debate across his features, his eyes falling to a spot on your chin. He looks sad, troubled and defeated. “I can’t… I can’t do this to you.”

You ignore his words, carefully washing his side. You avoid the cut and try to be as gentle as you can, but his muscles still flex as he clenches his fists from the pain.

He’s strong. That much hasn’t changed. Because he doesn’t make any sound as you finish washing him and then patch him up with those same careful hands. And when you move to his face, cleaning the blood, his eyes flutter shut, and he sighs softly.

He looks so much like he looked then that your heart aches, and you find yourself blinking away tears for this man who’s had it so rough he believed joining a gang would save him.

“I should have come to you before,” he murmurs. “You’re much gentler than Hongjoong.”

You don’t know the guy he mentioned, and you don’t feel like asking. Don’t feel like acknowledging his words, so you just finish with his cheek before stepping away from the peaceful aura that was treacherously pulling you in.

Like all those years ago, you reckon.

“Let me make a call,” you say, turning away from him as you move to the counter. You feel the weight of his eyes between your shoulder blades as you get your phone from next to your laptop. You call your boss, and as someone that’s never called in sick before, you feel anxiety flush through you.

Because you’re not sick. And how could you tell him that you need to take care of your ex-boyfriend of eight years ago?

Seokhyun picks up on the first ring, voice groggy with sleep when he mutters, “Hello?”

“Boss,” you greet him. You scrape your throat and spare a look towards San who’s watching you curiously. “An emergency came up, and I have to leave the diner.” You swallow the lump in your throat that’s formed from lying, and then you add, “There haven’t been any customers all night, so I was wondering… would you be comfortable with me closing for the rest of the night?”

Your boss says your name, a little reproachfully. But then he sighs, because he knows just as well as you what a good employee you’ve always been. “Are you going to be able to come in tomorrow night?” he asks.

You pull at dry skin on your bottom lip, assessing San’s state. You could always come back to the city for work…

“You know what, I know you’ve got that big exam coming up,” your boss says, sighing into the phone. “Why don’t you take the next week off so you can take care of your emergency and focus on your studies?”

If Seokhyun wasn’t a fifty-three year old married and father of three children man, you think you’d ask him to marry you right now.

“That would be really helpful,” you tell him, gratitude dripping from your voice. “Are you sure that won’t be a problem for the diner?”

“The diner won’t lose profit if it closes for three nights in the week,” he points out. “I’ll see if I can get you replaced for the evening shift on Sunday.”

You thank him again as he grumbles that it’s nothing. He wishes you good luck, and when the line goes silent, you finally meet San’s gaze again.

“All sorted out,” you tell him, offering him a nod. “Let me just close the diner, and then we can go.”

He nods, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. He observes you as you do so, quickly closing the diner like you’ve done about a hundred times before, though this time you’re far more excited to go. You grab a plastic bag to put away the bloody swabs, and though he groans in pain, San gets up to help you clean the blood that stained the cheap leather of the booth.

Soon enough, you’re ready to go, and you walk outside with the plastic bag in one hand and your backpack on your shoulders as San chuckles, looking down at himself.

“Do you have a shirt for me?” he asks as he follows you out.

You lock the door behind you before glancing at him. He’s quite the sight, naked from the waist up and bandaged like he is, and you can’t help the small chuckle you let out as you glance towards your car, that’s luckily parked right in front.

Though it’s a deadbeat car, you trust it enough to know it’ll make the trip to your uncle’s cabin, even in the middle of the night.

“My ex left some sweaters on the back seat,” you admit as you unlock your car doors and open the trunk to put your backpack and the plastic bag in there. There’s no chance in hell you’ll leave a plastic bag full of bloody swabs near your work.

You see San nod from the periphery of your vision, and then he’s opening the door to the backseat. “Your ex, huh?” he mutters as he grabs a sweater you used to love wearing and that you haven’t convinced yourself to give back to Hyunmin.

He carefully puts it on, and you’re pretty sure just the motion is going to make blood seep through the bandage. Somehow, you don’t care that it might stain Hyunmin’s sweater.

Hyunmin was a cheater, and even though you never really loved him, it took you months before you found the strength to break up with him. Needless to say, he doesn’t deserve his clothes back.

“Yeah,” you flatly say as you move towards the driver’s seat. You sit, and San follows you, naturally, as if you’ve done it a thousand times before.

As you turn the keys in the engine, San asks, “Have you dated a lot?”

You bristle at the question, shooting him an embarrassed look. “Have you?”

“No,” he replies, features fully serious.

You purse your lips, focusing on the road as you start driving. You need to put gas in the car if you want to get to your uncle’s cabin, so you make your way towards the closest one. It takes you a moment before you register how San has stiffened next to you.

“Can we…” he trails off, and he sinks in the seat, trying to hide. “I can’t be seen here.”

You immediately press on the accelerator, and your car speeds down the street as you pass in front of the gas station. You glance at San only when you’re stopped at a red light. He’s pulled the hood of the sweater over his features, and he’s doing his best to hide.

“Where can we stop?” you ask.

“Next town over,” he answers. “I just can’t be seen in Bangtan territory.”

Right. You have no knowledge of how the gangs have divided your city, but you’re not surprised Bangtan has this part of town. It’s the industrial area, and you assume there’s a lot of money to be made around here.

“Sounds good,” you gently say, and then you’re driving again, the light turning green, allowing you to speed away into the night.

You drive silently all the way to the next town, watching your city disappear to be replaced by trees until buildings reappear. San is looking outside the window, and you can’t help but wonder how he’s been doing, truly. How he managed to get injured like he is right now, and mostly, if his dreams of running away still occupy his thoughts.

He had begged you, the evening you had broken up with him. Told you he’d make enough money to be able to move with you across the country and build yourself a nice little life over there. You had wanted to believe him for so long, until your parents had opened your eyes on just how he was trying to make money.

“Do you need anything?” you ask as you finally reach the gas station, pulling into the driveway. You park next to a pump, turning to face him only to find him already watching you.

“I don’t have money to pay for food,” he admits. He shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I lost my wallet in the… altercation.”

You gently put a hand on his forearm. “Hey, my treat. We have to eat.”

He inhales deeply, letting out the breath slowly, before he nods. “Alright. I owe you.”

You reckon he’ll owe you for a lot more than just food at a gas station, but you choose not to say it. Not when you feel like someone’s watching over your shoulder, watching you drive away in the night with the person they are looking for.

You know it’s paranoia. No one followed you out of the city and into this town. It just feels too strange to have him here, with you. In your car, on the way to your uncle’s cabin, as if eight years have gone out the window. As if you can still be young and innocent.

It’s stupid, because you can’t. Time has changed him; time has changed you. And in just a few years you’ll be a doctor, and you’ll finally get out of this hellhole of a city, of its dangerous streets.

Of its equally dangerous man, that you know could probably pull you back in with one of his many well-crafted lies, one of the dreams he weaved expertly, whispering it into your ear.

You take a deep breath before getting out of the car. You go into the station, grab snacks for the next few days and then head to the counter. The guy behind nods as you approach, and you pay for the food and for gas before wishing him a good night and returning outside. San is still squatting in the car, clearly trying to hide, and you put the food on the backseat before putting gas in.

You watch his profile as you put gas in the car. Back when you were dating, his features weren’t as sharp, as glass-cutting as they now are. He used to sport a rounder face, but today you wonder if you’d get a papercut on his jaw. You wouldn’t even be surprised.

When you’re done with gas, you sit back next to him, and you quickly bring the engine back to life before pulling out in the street. As soon as you exit the city, darkness falls on the two of you, tall trees standing on the two sides of the road again. San doesn’t speak much, and it doesn’t take you long to realize he’s dozing off next to you.

“Hey, everything okay?” you ask, suddenly worried that he might have lost too much blood. Which, you reckon, you should have thought about earlier.

He sighs, glancing towards you. “Just tired.”

“Don’t…” you trail off. “Don’t fall asleep.”

He chuckles. “You’re afraid I’m going to die on you?”

“Choi San,” you warn. “Don’t you dare say stuff like that.”

He smiles, but you reckon he’s a little pale. Or at least you think he is, in the silver light of the moon up above. “I think I’m fine. Just…” He offers you a weak smile, though you’ve returned your attention on the winding road. “Just exhausted. I haven’t slept in three days.”

Worry clutches your heart, and you nibble at some dry skin on your bottom lip. “What’s been going on?”

He slightly shrugs. “I can’t tell you. I don’t want to put you in danger…”

“Am I not already in danger by just helping you?”

The silence is telling enough. And it remains for a while until San finally speaks.

“I was in a gunfight a week ago. Accidentally shot the youngest member of the other gang. He didn’t make it, and the gang has put a bounty on my head. Ateez took my gun and told me to run; I laughed in their face and said I wasn’t a coward. Then I got attacked by two guys with knives earlier, and I made it to the diner because I had nowhere else to go.”

Now the silence is deafening, heavy, and you think you’ve altogether stopped breathing. You’re struck with an image of San in the summer sun, smiling wide as he put a flower behind your ear, claiming you were the most beautiful girl he had ever met. The contrast with who he is now – a product of night, shrouded in darkness with no hint of that smile on his lips – is stark. And you wonder when’s the last time he has seen the sun, when’s the last time his life wasn’t violence like this.

When you say nothing, he scoffs, resting his head against the window as if it’d allow him to escape. Because clearly he wants to escape – he’s just told you that he’s killed someone after all.

And you don’t know what to say. Don’t know how to react to someone confessing murder. All you can do is stare at the street ahead, hoping you won’t end up in a gunfight with San. Because where would that lead you, other than in the dramatics of death?

You don’t speak for the rest of the ride. You don’t think he sleeps either, and dawn is clinging to the far horizon when you get to your uncle’s cabin, in a secluded forest that seems straight out of a fairytale. Instead of bringing you awe like it usually does, the sight of it makes you think of all the murder mysteries you had been obsessed with when you were younger, before you realized how horrible the real world truly is.

Neither of you move, as you turn off the engine of the car, and you fall into even more of a tensed silence, though this time you can hear the chirping of the early birds. It’s peaceful, so peaceful you can barely even grasp how tangible the presence of San is next to you. The presence of his actions too, looming between the two of you like a sword of Damocles.

You move first. Putting a hand on the knob, hoping to escape the heaviness into the dawn. San speaks before you can though, and your heart stops in your chest.

“I never meant for him to get hurt,” he murmurs, and you think he’s speaking to himself more than to you. “Everything went too fast, my gun was in my hand and I just… in situations like these, you don’t have time to think.” He leans his head against the headrest, eyes closing. “All I can picture since it’s happened is him falling and blood. Like a fucking blossoming rose, all around him.” He rests his closed fist on his forehead, rubbing it hard. “I haven’t been able to sleep; I’ve been sick every time I’ve tried to eat…”

“San,” you interrupt as you break and break for him. Because this is the San you know. This is the young boy that just wanted to escape and live in a better world. You can almost taste his remorse, taste his regret and shame. It’s poisonous, treacherous, a slippery slope that can’t lead anywhere good. “Let’s get you in. I want to get that cut on your ribs checked.”

He falls silent, and for a moment you feel guilty. Because what if he had more to say? You don’t even think you would have been able to listen. You need the escape, and you know he’ll permit it. Because the man next to you is a broken man, a fracture of what he could have been.

You step out of the car, blinking away tears – from the anxiety, from the exhaustion, and perhaps even from the pain you feel for him. He follows you, wincing as he swings his legs out of the car. He stumbles a little as he stands, but soon enough, he grows steady on his feet, and his attention moves to you. You climb the stairs of the cabin, lifting the rug to find the small trap that leads to the spare key. The padlock is rusted, but it stands strong as you put in the code, and a click is heard when you pull on it.

A few seconds later, you’ve unlocked the front door, pushing it open to reveal the cabin as you remember it. Not a single item is out of place, though dust covers everything, a clear indication that no one has been here in years. You let San in, before going back to the car to get the food you bought, bringing it in and putting it in the fridge. Three full gas canisters hide under the counter, and you sigh in relief – you’ll be able to get the generator on for some electricity.

You motion to the kitchen table. “Have a seat,” you tell San, who somehow looks like a lost puppy. “I’ll get the first aid kit.”

He nods, remaining silent, eyes downcast. You only move when he’s seated, heading to the bathroom area of the cabin, where you startle a spider that almost makes you scream out loud. You keep it in, heart beating out of your chest as you get the kit before moving back into the main area.

San is leaning against the chair, eyes closed. He senses you approaching, and one of his eyes cracks open to watch you carefully, a little like he did earlier, at the diner. It looks so similar to how he used to look at you, when you joined him at the field, that you stop in your tracks, heart squeezing once again.

You don’t like the way Choi San is making you feel, that’s for sure.

“Take off the sweater,” you tell him, putting the kit down on the table. You put some clean linen next to it, to put what you need over it, before washing your hands with the disinfectant you find in the kit. You put latex gloves on after, and then you fish wire and a surgical needle from the first aid kit that you carefully put down on the linen once you’ve torn the packages open.

As you were doing all of that, San took off the shirt, struggling a little as it meant he had to lift his right arm, which pulled at the skin of his ribs, where the cut clearly has started bleeding again. Though, if you’re honest to yourself, you’re pretty sure he’s been bleeding this whole time, even though it probably was just some fine rivulets.

Indeed, the cut isn’t all that deep, you remind yourself. Mostly because you don’t want to even think about the consequences of the blood loss. As long as he stays awake, you figure he’s fine – he would have lost consciousness a while ago if he was losing a lot of blood.

You remove the bandage you had carefully put in place earlier, wincing at the sight of the blood that’s seeped through it. San keeps his eyes close, lets you clean his skin again in peace, and you feel sick to your stomach as you realize you don’t have any anesthetics for the pain that stitching him up will cause. Indeed, the pocket in which your uncle usually leaves the lidocaine is empty, and you remember that he’s had to use it for your dad when he accidentally cut himself with a machete last summer.

“Huh,” you let out. You chuckle nervously. “It’s going to hurt like a bitch.”

His eyes narrow, and he clenches his jaw. “Don’t worry about it.”

You worry at your bottom lip, holding his gaze as you gauge if he’s serious. When his gaze doesn’t falter, you offer him a curt nod, before getting the wire and needle ready under his watchful eyes.

You hand him some linen. “To bite on,” you explain as he just cocks an eyebrow quizzically. That makes his gaze widen a little as if he’s just now realizing how serious you were about it hurting, but he takes it nonetheless.

You think about the theory of how to stitch someone up. It was in your previous block – you watched hours of videos of it in an attempt to desensitize yourself to it. You don’t think it compares to the real thing, but at least you’re somehow confident of what you’re doing when you start.

San startles, groaning in pain, and you offer him a glare. “Don’t move, or it’ll be worse.”

A drop of sweat rolls down his temple, but he still nods. Even as you keep on stitching him, he remains as still as he physically can, though you don’t think he even notices how he’s trembling. Or maybe that’s you – you don’t even know.

Somehow, you make it through the whole thing. You think San might have passed out at some point, but he’s wide awake when you finish the knot to keep the stitches in place, looking up to meet his face.

He’s panting and tears of pain wet his waterline. He blinks them away as he takes the linen out of his mouth, dropping it on the table.

“Fuck,” he curses.

“Let me…” you trail off, mind set on getting something to at least help him cool off, because he’s clearly been heating up.

You grab a washcloth and a small bucket, and head outside to walk down to the lake. You fill the bucket halfway, and take a few seconds to observe the calm surrounding you, hoping that it can ease the nerves rolling inside your heart like dark clouds do on the horizon whenever a storm is coming. You feel it in your bones – you have a murderer in your uncle’s cabin.

You have to keep that in mind. To not let Choi San in like you did when you were a young impressionable teenager.

You sigh, closing your eyes to breathe in the fresh morning air. The sun is peaking over the horizon now, and you bask in its hesitant rays for all of twenty seconds before you convince yourself to go back in. You’ve got a patient to take care of, after all.

San hasn’t moved an inch while you were outside. The only indication that he hasn’t died on you is the groan he lets out as you put the wet washcloth on his forehead. You tap his cheek gently, as if to say, ‘suck it up, I’m just trying to take care of you’.

Which is exactly what you’re doing, isn’t it?

You watch him carefully for a few seconds before tapping his shoulder this time around.

“There’s a bed,” you remind him. “You’d be better passing out in a bed.”

He groans again, cracking an eye open. “I’ve just been repeatedly poked with a needle,” he drawls. “Give me a second.”

It makes you laugh. Because of the nerves, maybe. You’re not quite sure. All you know is that you’re laughing, and San opens his second eye to look at you as if you’re crazy. And you laugh for longer than you should – you’re exhausted after all, especially considering you haven’t slept since yesterday morning. So far, adrenaline has been keeping you going, but you can tell you’re about to crash.

“Sorry,” you apologize once you calm down. “This has just been…”

“A lot,” San finishes for you. “I know.”

You nod once before glancing at the doorway to the bedroom. It has no door, as your uncle and your dad usually come here alone and they don’t mind sharing a bed. It makes you realize that you’ll have to share it with San, which you reckon you should have thought about before. Because there’s no way in hell you’ll share a bed with him, especially after he’s told you why he’s being hunted.

There’s always the option of going into town later today so you can get a sleeping bag and floor mat to sleep on. But you’re far too tired right now to even consider driving, so you motion to the bed once again.

“Stick to your side; I’ll stick to mine.”

He smirks though he’s extremely pale. A lot paler than he was before, and you swallow a sudden lump in your throat. Because what if he dies? What are you supposed to do with him if he dies?

“You’ll have to help me to get to the bed ‘cause I don’t think I can move,” he says once his smirk dies. He curses under his breath. “I’m so pathetic.”

You put your hand on his shoulder again, reassuringly, eyes holding his. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re hurt. Everyone is pathetic when they’re hurt.”

He gulps before nodding once. It takes everything in you not to offer him more comfort because you feel like the slope would tilt forwards far too much if you did. Instead, you help him to get up, wincing as he puts most of his weight on you, clutching his side with one hand. You’re infinitely aware of how his skin is sticky with sweat, but you ignore it as you slowly walk to the bedroom.

You can only hope the stitches will hold because you don’t think he’d be able to withstand another round of them.

You finally reach the bedroom and help San sit on the side of the bed. He sighs, eyes shut tightly, and he doesn’t move for a time. When he does, it’s to stiffly lie down on his side.

“You might want to sleep on your back,” you inform him. “I don’t want you rolling around and messing up the stitches.”

He glares at you, though he looks like he’s already half out of it. You hold his gaze until he gives in, turning on his back with a deep sigh. You arrange pillows around him to make sure he’s not moving, and by the time you’re done, his breathing has already evened out.

For a moment, you just watch him sleep. You see him in the field where young love blossomed like a trillion wildflowers. You can almost breathe his pollen again, can almost feel the softness of his skin under your fingertips.

But he’s not what he used to be. Back then, you felt like you had discovered something new. Love, infatuation, affection, and desire, all in the form of the man sleeping next to you. You’d used to kiss, dance and sing to a song only your souls knew, and now you don’t think you recognize him anymore.

As much as he is him, he’s also but just the ghost of what he was. He’s trouble, danger in the shape of innocence, and you recall his words from earlier. You recall the despair, the regret and sorrow that haunted him after he told you. You can’t let him get to your head.

You reckon sleep might help. Though you’re afraid he’s going to waste away in his sleep, so you set up an alarm every hour, before climbing on the other side of the bed. You don’t pull on the covers, mostly because the cabin is warm, and you can imagine it’s just going to get hotter as the sun goes up and the summer heat slowly sizzles into the countryside.

It’s a good thing you put an alarm on. Because when it rings an hour later, you don’t even remember falling asleep. You’re pretty sure the second your head touched the mattress, you were out to the land of dreams. You groan, mostly because you’ve got a slight headache, but you power through it to make sure San is still breathing.

When you see his chest moving up and down steadily, you let yourself fall back asleep.

This goes on for the whole morning, and you only force yourself to stay up when your phone shows that it’s passed noon. As you had suspected earlier, the cabin has gotten extremely warm, so you force yourself out of bed to open all the windows, and then you use the washcloth from earlier to gently wash San’s face of the sweat.

He doesn’t even flinch in his sleep, but he’s still breathing and for now, that’s all that matters.

You head back to the main room, grabbing a pack of chips from where you had left the food earlier, and then you move outside to sit by the lake. Mostly because you need to put distance between you and San, but also just because the childhood memories of this place have you in their hold, and they’ve decided to make you miss the times when you’d swim around with your cousins before both of them had moved out of town.

One day, it’s going to be you too. You already know where you’d go – on the other side of the country, as far away from here as possible. You just want to forget all about the place you grew up in, and you know that, in a few years, you will have forgotten.

Though you’re pretty sure a certain piercing gaze will haunt you forever, especially after the events of today.

When another hour passes, you head back inside, putting the empty bag of chips in the trash before you check up on San. He’s still asleep, but this time he doesn’t look as pale as he did earlier. You assume it’s going to take him a while before he wakes, so you head to the nearest town to grab more food. Mostly to busy yourself, but also just because you know San will need a place to hide for a lot longer than just the weekend. Might as well make sure you have enough for him to survive a couple of days. In town, you also stop to eat at a small café on a small terrasse in the shade of a few trees, and then you grab the food you think you might need at the grocery store.

It’s the middle of the afternoon when you get back, realizing that you forgot to buy a floor mat. As you spy San, who hasn’t moved an inch since he’s fallen asleep, you figure that sleeping next to him tonight should be fine.

As long as his presence in your vicinity doesn’t drag you down memory lane again.

You bought some meat in town, so you head to the little shack outside where the generator is hiding. There’s a gas canister right next to it – also full – and you busy yourself for the next twenty minutes trying to figure out how to get it started. When it finally rumbles to life, you head back inside to put the meat in the fridge, which has finally come to life.

When you hear a groan, you quickly jog to San’s side, fully expecting to find him awake. Surprisingly, he’s still asleep, and you stay next to him for a full minute, thinking he might groan again, though he remains entirely silent.

If it wasn’t for his chest moving up and down steadily, you’d believe him to be dead. But now that a few hours have passed, you’re pretty positive he’ll make it, though he’s probably going to sleep through the day and possibly through the next one too.

Which leaves you in the most peaceful atmosphere you’ve been in for a while, with the opportunity to study as you listen to the rush of wind in the leaves of the tall trees surrounding the cabin. You sit outside, this time near the fireplace, and you study until your stomach grumbles, indicating that it is time for you to cook.

You cook the meat you’ve bought on the grill outside, feeling thankful that your dad once showed you how to use it. You go back in to grab a bottle of water before you eat, and you’re bent in the fridge when you hear San moan again, and this time it sounds like he’s saying something.

You gently close the fridge, making your way to the bedroom. San hasn’t moved, but his features are creased in a frown, and sweat is rolling down his temples. You wet the washcloth, gently wipe his face, and you’re about to leave when he moans again.

It takes you far too long to realize he’s apologizing. What for, you can’t really tell. Though you remember his troubled eyes this morning, you remember his story, and your heart breaks in your chest.

He’s haunted. You think the ghost of the dead guy will probably haunt him for the rest of his life. And suddenly you’re struck thinking maybe, maybe if you hadn’t broken his heart all those years ago, you could have saved him from the gang.

Maybe you could have opened his eyes.

You still remember the break-up like it was yesterday. You remember the rain, him leaving without once looking back, but mostly you remember the words you had uttered. Ghosts of their own, that feel more real now that he’s come back into your life.

*****

“You’re going to get hurt!” you yelled. “You’ll get hurt, San. What are you thinking?”

He scoffed, shaking his head, and little droplets of water shot all around him. “I’ll be careful. We need the money if we ever want to make it out of this shit town.”

You blinked away tears, folding your arms on your chest as you tried to keep your heart from breaking. Though you reckoned it had broken when your parents had told you what they knew about San. When your father had mentioned Ateez, and you’d truly realized what it meant that he was part of a gang. San, your sweet, soft, and bubbly San, in a gang that had murdered someone just a few weeks ago.

“But that’s not a way to make money!” you screamed, hoping he’d understand. Hoping he’d hear the truth in your words, hoping he’d change his mind before it was too late. “Why don’t you get a part-time job, like me? Then we can go to college and get jobs in a nice city on the other side of the country!”

“It won’t work,” he drawled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I want to be out soon, not in a few years. I barely even have a roof over my head, Y/n…”

“Come live with me,” you choked out around the lump in your throat.

You both knew fully well that your parents would never let him come near you again.

“I can’t.”

You cried, hiding your face in your hands. You cried thinking of the field where you usually met, thinking about its beauty now fading into ugliness. You thought about the wildflowers, withered and dead as autumn had come. You thought about how you were convinced you knew what love was.

“What’s the point?” you asked then. “What’s the point of putting your life in danger? Life isn’t some sort of a game, Choi San. Worse, what if you have to hurt someone? Do you think you’ll be able to pull the trigger?”

He clenched his jaw, hard. “Do me a favour and stop asking questions.”

You closed your eyes, feeling sick to your stomach. Because it couldn’t be. Not San. Not your smiley San, who’d always weave dandelions crowns with you, as you’d pretend you were a queen and a king of that field you had found. An empty field, an abandoned farmland that was just yours and his to explore. That had been home to your first kiss, and all of those that had followed.

Now you wondered why he had always wanted to meet there in the first place. Was he trying to hide?

"If you love me, you’ll get out while you still can,” you said as your tears suddenly ended.

There was a weird sense of clarity in you, suddenly. You remembered the day you had fallen in love, the moment you had first kissed. You remembered the stars in the sky above, the meteors falling for the two of you. You remembered the music on the radio you had brought. Some Arctic Monkeys song about heartbreak, about moving on and failing to do so. As a joke, when it had ended, you had asked San, “Do you think love is a laserquest?”

His answer had been cryptic, mysterious, things that had made you believe he was the one. “Maybe. Maybe it is, and I’ve shot you in the back while you weren’t looking. Maybe I’m that annoying player that won’t leave you alone.”

“I’ll never find you annoying,” you had replied.

But today, watching the rain rolling down his face like tears, you realized that maybe, maybe you should have seen the warning behind his words. Because this betrayal, it came like he had shot you in the back – you didn’t think you’d be able to recover from it.

The past dwindled away as San spoke again, reminding you of the question you had just asked him. “It’s not a question of love, Y/n. I do love you. But it’s a question of survival.”

You laughed, coldly, and then you said, “You know what? You’re full of shit.”

“Alright then. Do me a favour and tell me to go away.”

“Go away.”

A long silence had lingered between you, voided of that summer warmth that had you falling in love. Like a piece was missing from the contract of you loving him, and him loving you. And you realized, maybe you had never really loved each other anyway.

He nodded once when you didn’t say anything else, before turning away. And you watched him walk away. You watched him thinking he was going to turn around and tell you this was just some twisted joke, the prank of the century. Only, he never turned around, and he disappeared behind the bend in the road, never to be seen again, cracking your heart open and splitting it in half.

*****

The sun sets, like an ending to a dream. You’ve always liked the end – you think if you could choose, you’d want to witness the end of the world. The nostalgia, the beauty of endings… it’s something you understand now that you didn’t understand when you were younger. Because you and San ending, it had led to you focusing on high school. It had allowed you to get in the good college in town, with a scholarship that covered most of your expenses before you made it to med school.

There’s beauty in knowing losing San has allowed you to live out your dreams.

There’s less beauty in knowing that San has been sleeping for almost thirty-four hours now. Last time you checked, he was still breathing, but you’re starting to be afraid that he just won’t wake up. It’s irrational, you know – after the blood loss it makes sense that he’d sleep for a long time.

But it leaves you with far too much time on your hands to think and revisit the past. You’ve been doing it all day – thinking about the fight with your parents that had led to your break-up with San, thinking about that damn rainy evening he had walked away without once looking back. Thinking of the field, of sunshine and star falls and the sweetness of a first kiss. Thinking that, then, you thought you knew what it was like to be in love.

You haven’t dated anyone serious since San. Hyunmin was a distraction for a while, but you never were into it. Not like you were into San. There’s a guy in your class though, that you’ve been chatting with for a couple of weeks. He’s sweet, innocent, and the perspective of a future seems less scary with him around. He’s mentioned he wants to move across the country once too, and since then you’ve started talking more, the similarity of your wishes drawing you closer.

All day today you’ve been feeling like you’re slowly drifting away though. Slowly getting entrapped in a web you’re not sure you’ll be able to walk away from.

You decide to swim, seeking the fresh clarity only cold water can bring to you. You don’t have a swimsuit with you, but since San is half-dead in bed you figure it doesn’t matter. So you strip naked, feet making squelching sounds in the mud by the lake side as you step in the water.

The sharp cold has you holding your breath, but you don’t slow down. You’ve never slowed down in life – when you make a decision, you bring it to completion. And you’ve decided to swim, so swim you will.

The warm summer evening breeze catches in your hair as you take another step forward, the water now lapping at your thighs. You dread the moment it’ll hit your core, knowing that that’s the worst part, but you breathe in deeply, moving forward. Because there’s no moving backwards now.

When the water hits, your eyes flutter shut, and you hold in the wince that threatens to escape the mask of calm your features hold. Soon enough, you get deep enough to swim, and the movements bring welcomed warmth to your limbs as you flop on your back, tits out of the water.

Your uncle’s cabin is the only cabin in a fifteen miles radius. You know you won’t be interrupted, and so you let the water cool you down. Calm you down, hold you in its fresh embrace. It undoes knots in your back that have formed from worrying about San, but also from worrying about college.

From worrying that you will never be enough. You think it’s a normal anxiety to have, something most people must feel as they go through the trials of college, not knowing what to expect on the other side. A nice career, perhaps, though the perspective of failure is there too, looming over the horizon.

You sigh, and your eyes flutter open as your legs move mindlessly under you, making sure to keep you afloat. You look up at the azury ceiling over your head, so far away as it slowly turns gold. Out of touch, out of grasp. You watch the fluffy white clouds that are lazily crossing the sky, turning fiery in the sunset, as if they have all the time in the universe. And you wish you were them, up above. With nothing to worry about.

Without a Choi San on the brink of death lying about twenty meters away from you. You sigh, and you turn in the water, with the purpose of swimming again. Though your gaze catches movement by the cabin, and your head snaps towards it to see none other than the supposedly Choi San, standing on the deck with a hand clutching his side.

You shriek, looking down at yourself. Most of you is hidden, but you don’t know how long he’s been there. Don’t know if he’s seen you naked as you looked up at the sky.

He doesn’t move, only watches you where you’re swimming.

“Can you please look away?” you say from the water, and he has the nerves to lean against the railing, eyes still boring into where you’re swimming. You think his gaze might be so hot the water will boil, and it startles you into action.

You start walking out of the water, pointing towards the door. “You shouldn’t be up, Choi San.”

“I feel fine,” he says as you take another step forward, and the water barely hides your tits anymore.

That makes him turn around, as he offers you a little bit of privacy. You’re quick to get out of the water and wrap yourself in the towel you brought outside, and then you collect your clothes to head back to the cabin. San dutifully keeps his gaze away until you’re climbing the three steps leading to the deck, and it’s then that his eyes trail to you again.

“Thank you for the water,” he says, offering you a tentative smile.

You left water by his bedside earlier today hoping it will coax him to wake up. You’re strangely surprised that it worked.

“You should go sit inside,” you scold him, only half-heartedly. Because seeing him up and about reassures you, somehow.

He cocks an eyebrow, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “The weather is beautiful, I’d rather sit outside.”

You roll your eyes, but you do let him walk down the stairs to sit by the fireplace while you go inside to take a quick shower and get dressed. You decide to make some food for him, though you know he shouldn’t eat too much right now, after not having eaten for a while. He has to start slowly, and you don’t even know if he’s hungry anyway.

You settle for preparing a cup of chicken noodle soup for him, so at least it isn’t too heavy on his stomach. You bring it to him outside, as he’s just calmly observing the lake.

“Thank you,” he says, voice small as he grabs the cup and the spoon.

You sit next to him, trying not to watch him eat too much. His hair is sticking to his forehead in some places, and you have the distinct thought that he’ll probably need to shower. At least there’s plenty of rain water in the bucket for the water pump.

“What have you been doing while I was out?” he asks.

You spare him a quick glance before losing your gaze in the rocks of the fireplace. “I’ve studied. Checked up on you. Not much honestly.”

He chuckles. “I’d argue that caring for someone is a lot.”

You glance at him, cheeks burning at the sight of his teasing smile. “Not really.”

He chuckles again, but doesn’t say anything more before eating another spoonful of soup. He’s almost done with the cup when he actually does speak, asking, “How long was I out?”

“A day and a half,” you answer. “I’m actually surprised you haven’t slept longer.”

You can hear the smirk in his voice when he says, “I’m made of tough stuff.”

You snicker, but you don’t say anything, just focusing on where you’re kicking at the dirt. When he’s done with the cup, he puts it down on the ground next to him, before sitting back in the chair. He stretches out his legs in front of him, sighing deeply.

“I still feel out of it,” he admits, and you meet his gaze.

“You can sleep more,” you tell him. “I’d just like to check on the…”

You don’t even have to finish your sentence. He immediately turns so his side is to you, and you have to admit you’ve done a perfectly good job with the stitches.

“So?” he asks.

“All good.” You pat his shoulder. “You can sit comfortably again.”

He’s smiling when he does so, and his gaze wanders to the lake once again. “I’m sorry I…” he trails off, and he chuckles softly. “I’m sorry I interrupted your little swim earlier.”

You have the decency to flush furiously red, and you shrug your shoulders. “No worries, I wasn’t expecting you to be up so soon.”

You fall in a comfortable silence, surprisingly so. Rare stars dot the darkening sky up above, and all that can be heard for a moment is the flap of a bird’s wing as it moves from branches to branches in the trees by the water. The breeze picks up as you watch the little bird, and the leaves dance, loudly so. You’d think it’d be deafening in the silence between you and him, but it’s strangely reassuring.

As if, after all, you found your way back to the field. Only this time it’s completely different, as if decades have passed between you. At least, that’s how it feels like.

You notice San has dozed off in the chair next to you when you were about to speak to him again. To ask him how he’s truly been, in the years between then and now. Hoping to avoid mentioning what led to him coming to you, yesterday, a whole eternity ago.

You watch him, heart aching in your chest. Aching to reach out and brush his hair away from his forehead, aching to heal the cut on his cheek with a gentle swipe of your fingers. If only medicine was so simple…

It seems the peace of the early evening wasn’t going to stay around, because you notice dark clouds rolling in the distance, streaks of lightning cutting through them. Slowly inching closer, menacingly so, and you gently wake San up with your hand on his wrist.

He startles awake, hand shooting to his waist, finding nothing there. It startles you, and you both stare at each other for a moment until you realize what he was looking for.

His gun.

“San…” you let out and he runs his hand through his hair, eyes falling shut as he breathes in and out raggedly.

“Sorry.”

“San, I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t open his eyes, refuses to let you see the vulnerability you glimpsed behind his piercing gaze. Refuses to acknowledge that he’s terrified, deadly so.

“Let’s go in,” you tell him, softly. Because you’re afraid you’ll spook him, when he’s clearly been living in fear long enough. “There’s a storm coming.”

He nods, carefully getting up without sparing you a glance. He heads inside, hand clutching his side again, while you pick up the chicken noodle soup cup before following him.

You’ve refilled the generator before swimming, so you know it’s been charging the batteries for a while now. You don’t fear ending up in the dark with San, and there’s also always the option of using the lamps and candles your uncle always leave here in case of an emergency.

The storm doesn’t roll in until a little later. You’ve forced San to put a shirt on – mostly so your eyes would stop betraying you, dropping to his toned body whenever he talked to you. You’re currently sitting on the couch, and as the rain starts, hammering against the window behind you, you pull your legs to your chest, wrapping your arms comfortably around them.

“How hard do the storms hit here?” he asks, eyes trailed to the world outside.

You follow his gaze, right as wind picks up to make the water hit the window even harder, creating a cacophony that forces you to speak louder for him to hear. “Pretty hard.”

He nods, and he glances once at you. “Fun.”

You smile, because you’ve always liked storms. Have always found them electrifying, energizing.

“Do you remember when we used to go to the field when it rained?” San asks, taking you by surprise.

Making your heart clench so hard in your chest you have to take a wobbly breath in. If he notices he doesn’t say.

“We were always in that field,” you remind him. “No matter the weather.”

It’s his turn to smile fondly. “It got so pretty with all the wildflowers. But you were afraid of the bees.”

“Bees are scary!” You laugh, and he echoes it with a soft chuckle. “You’re the one that almost pissed yourself when we saw the rat.”

That makes him laugh, and he winces in pain clutching his side. “Gosh, is it supposed to keep on hurting like this?”

It douses your enthusiasm and your smile falls. “Well, it was a solid cut.”

His eyes get lost in the void as he takes on a wistful expression. “I’m surprised I didn’t die.”

You gulp, watching his profile carefully. “It wasn’t deep enough for that…” you trail off, even though you spent most of yesterday and today being convinced he’d die. “At least they didn’t… stab you.”

“They would have if… Wooyoung didn’t shoot.”

You remain silent, not knowing what to reply to that. San interprets that as discomfort, and he quickly adds, “He didn’t shoot them. Just… in the air. It attracted the police.”

You remember the cars zooming past the diner a lifetime ago, and you nod your head. “I heard.”

He seems surprised, and his gaze finally finds yours again. “You did?”

“Yeah.” You chuckle, a little awkwardly. “I hear a lot of shootings, in the diner.”

His eyes widen, mouth falling open cutely. “You do?”

You don’t know what he expected. The diner is right between Ateez and Bangtan territory, and as much as it is a safe space, it is also near enough to dangerous grounds, and you’ve heard plenty of shooting in your time working there.

“Always,” you admit. “It can get scary sometimes… but you also get used to it.”

He looks sad. Infinitely so, like a lost puppy. That’s when the first thunder hits, so sharp and sudden you startle. Not quite as much as San, who ducks, wincing in pain as he clutches his side.

“Shit,” he curses. “Sorry.”

“What’s wrong?” you ask, in time with another thunderclap, though this time it’s more of a rumble.

You watch his chest as he breathes in and out quickly. “Just… fuck.”

Now, concern grows in you, and you gently put a hand on his shoulder. “San…”

He meets your gaze, and there’s so much white in his it makes you think of a terrified prey. And then it clicks: he thought it was a gunshot.

“Hey,” you quickly say, moving closer to him. You’re on the side of the stitches, so you still keep a safe distance between the two of you, but you grab his hand nonetheless. “You’re okay.”

“Fuck,” is all he’s able to say.

“I promise, no one’s going to find you here.”

He remains silent this time around, eyes still boring into yours. You take that as a cue to continue, because you don’t want him to panic. You want his thoughts here, with you, and not miles away in a city he should have escaped from years ago. You wish he had, knowing the atrocities that he would have avoided.

Would he have escaped with you, had you stayed just a little longer?

“I killed someone,” he says, and you balk at the silver lining his gaze. “I fucking killed him.”

You don’t know how to help. All you can think to do is cup his cheek, right as he starts breathing even faster. “Breathe with me, San.”

He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes fall to your mouth. You make a good show of inhaling slowly, before exhaling even slower. It takes him a moment but he eventually follows your lead.

It breaks when there’s another sharp thunderclap, and he flinches, eyes shutting instinctively.

“Hey hey hey,” you say again, even more gentle, softer than before. You move even closer, and when a tear slips out of his closed eyes, you pull him into a hug, careful not to brush his side.

His head falls on your shoulder, and one of his arms wrap around your waist. A thunderclap later, he starts sobbing, fist balling the fabric of your shirt in his tight hold, and you let him do it. You let him hold onto you, hoping it’ll keep him here with you. Hoping it’ll keep him afloat during the storm that’s raging both outside and in his mind.

“It’s going to be okay,” you breathe, and you feel like you’re lying to him.

Because how can he ever be safe from the ghosts inside of his skull? The ghosts wandering the halls of him, tainting his soul with their presence?

“He’s never going to smile again,” San chokes out. “Everyone loved him. Even in Ateez… Jungkook was the best of us. The only one who had a shot at getting out of it.”

You don’t know how good he could have been, if he was a member of Bangtan. In your mind, you’d always seen Bangtan as the bad guys, mostly because they weren’t with San. Even when you had been struggling to evade that life, you’d still rooted for him.

It’s strange how you just realize that now, as you’re holding him while he breaks.

“You didn’t mean to kill him,” you remind San, still speaking with the calmest voice you can muster up. “You didn’t want to, San. You’re not a murderer.”

“I’m still a killer,” he says. He sounds angry, and you reckon he might be angry at himself. Might be consumed with his actions, dragged to hell before his time as his mind gets stuck replaying the events.

“Maybe,” you answer. “But,” you quickly add when he stiffens in your arms. “But you can spend the rest of your life making up for it. Repenting.”

He doesn’t respond right away, as he breaks some more, sobs rocking through him. You’ve never seen him like this, not even when you were younger and in love. It makes your gaze wet, yet you hold on strong for him. You keep your head held high, and you allow him to break in the safe haven that your arms represent.

Because to him, you’ve never been tainted. You’ve always been the ideal he was trying to pursue, albeit the wrong way.

“I don’t know how to repent,” he admits when he calms down. He turns his head, and his nose brushes along the skin of your neck, slightly tickling you. You ignore the feeling, especially as he adds, “Ateez… it’s all I’ve ever known.”

You run a hand on his back, soothingly. “It isn’t.”

Because there was you, too. There was the summer field and the twinkling stars and Artic Monkeys on the radio. There was the two of you, petal-soft kisses exchanged in the dead of night and in the brightness of day. There were rainy days, and then there was rain. There was him walking away, and you hate yourself then.

You wish you had stopped him that day, had kept him from going on to become what he’s become now. A person he clearly hates, someone that has a bounty on his head. Someone that doesn’t even believe they’re allowed redemption and you reckon you don’t even know if he is.

You only know that seeing him break is bending your will, the way the wind outside is bending the trees. All you can hope is that, like the tall trees, you won’t break.

*****

The storm calmed down sometime around midnight. San ended up falling asleep on the couch, as you’d reassuringly ran your hand through his hair, trying to keep him with you. Though you think he’s been slipping through your fingers, into his demons.

You’ll find a way to bring him back. You have to. Turns out it comes faster than you think, as the electricity runs out and you busy yourself with lighting some candles throughout the main room. When you’re done, you put a blanket over him, and you almost let out a startled scream as his eyes shot open.

“Hello,” you say, resting a hand on your heart to tame the wild beats.

You’re about to move away, but he grabs your hand, forcing you to sit next to him. You don’t really resist, though you think you probably should. You’re weak – weaker still when he murmurs your name.

“San,” you whisper in return, and you’re aware your voice carries too much longing. Longing for a past when life’s atrocities hadn’t changed either of you yet.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologizes, and a tear rolls on his cheek.

You dry it, fingers lingering there. “It’s okay.”

“Angel…”

The nickname brings you back to laser quests and favours and warmth creeping up your stomach for the first time in your life.

“I’m no angel,” you breathe.

“You saved me.”

You hold his gaze. There’s something hiding behind his pupils. The need, to forget. You don’t think you have the ability to run his mind through amnesia, but still you brush his cheek again.

“You deserved saving.”

His eyes glaze once more, though this time no tears fall. “It’s hard to believe it.”

“Do you still believe love is a laser quest?” you ask him, out of the blue.

As if you’re a line straight of that Arctic Monkeys song you listened to the first time you kissed.

“Maybe,” he says, a parallel to that first time you had asked the question. “Maybe it is.”

You can’t resist. You lean down, and you press the gentlest kiss on his lips. His are dry, but the way he sighs with you against him is soft, for your heart and for your mind, and you kiss him again. He lets you lead, follows the dance of your lips, lets you run your hand through his sweaty hair.

Even if you shouldn’t. Even if you know everything you’re doing right now is a mistake, you still find yourself deepening the kiss, opening your lips to slip your tongue out, teasing his mouth. One of his hands finds your thigh, and he squeezes ever so slightly as his tongue finds yours, and you let out a breathy sound.

When you pull away, eyes fluttering open, you find San’s gaze. You think about the boy he was then, the girl you were then. You think about who you were, together. And when he says, “Please make me forget”, you lean again, capturing his mouth in a languid kiss.

For a reason unknown, the summer sky and falling stars pale in comparison to this kiss. Maybe because it holds longing, nostalgia. Hope that life would have turned out differently. For a moment, you picture what it would have been like, without Ateez. With you and him in the field, in your family house, in a car driving by the beach, windows down as the sun sets and you sing along to the radio, wind blowing in your hair.

You see a whole life there, with you and him marrying in the field, under the sun that had been the host of your first love. You imagine growing up by his side, attending college with him in the big city. You imagine how he would have become the owner of his own construction company, like his dad before him. You picture kids laughing, running around the house he would have built for you. You see Christmas light, late nights antics by the firelight.

You see it all, and you know you’ll never have any of it. But if you can have tonight, then you’ll grab it before it slips through your fingers. Before he walks away in the rain again, only to be a memory you cherish in the deepest corners of your heart.

“How?” you ask him when you pull away.

Mostly, you’re asking how to make him forget. But you’re also asking how it is that the feelings are still there, even stronger now, as if they’ve grown up with you, yet haven’t changed like you have. Like they are a constant of an ever-changing universe.

“Kiss me again,” he asks, begs, and you give in. You kiss him wildly, always making sure not to touch his side and the stitches.

You know sex would be a stupid idea, especially with the fresh stitches. But also because he’s barely had time to recover. But he doesn’t really give you a choice, pulling you on top of him until you’re straddling him.

You sit back on him for a second, eyes trailing to the spot where you know the stitches are. “This isn’t a good idea,” you whisper through the ragged breaths caused by the ministrations of his mouth on yours and of yours on his.

“I’m fine,” he says, and you know you shouldn’t believe him. But when he pulls you down again, large hand holding the nape of your neck firmly so you don’t escape, you want to believe him.

Want to believe the beauty of his lies, like you had when you were younger.

From where you’re perched, you can feel the start of his erection pressing against you, and you moan softly in the kiss, rolling your hips. His mouth falls open, and you capture his tongue, sucking on it once before you pull away, leaving hot kisses on his jaw.

“Sit on my face,” he says, and he sounds out of his mind. Crazed, a little like you too feel at the moment.

“What?”

“Can’t get hurt if you sit on my face, angel,” he explains, and then hisses when you suck a hickey on his neck.

You let him pull your shirt off, unclasping your bra yourself as you sit back on his lap. He cups your breasts, rolling your erect nipples between his thumbs and indexes. You moan again, grinding your hips into his, and he hisses once more.

“You want to taste me?” you ask, head throwing back as he pinches your nipples hard.

“I’d fuck you, but you’re the doctor. Can’t risk fucking up my stitches, huh?” he replies, voice low and husky.

Your core heats up, pussy clenching around nothing. This is a side of him you’ve never seen, though you spy desperation beneath it. Like he thinks he doesn’t have forever, when it comes to you.

He’s right. Because tomorrow, you’ll have to go back into town, into the hellscape you call home. What will be left of the two of you then?

So when he tugs at your pants, you give in and get up, taking off your pants and panties in one swift motion. You step out of them, blood heating up by the way he’s looking at you through half-lidded eyes, gaze burning on you.

You have half a thought that you could probably ride him instead of his face, but when you see his pink tongue darting out to wet his lips, making them glisten in the candlelight, you need to know what it’ll feel like against you.

So you straddle his face as he guides you down, large hands pushing on your thighs until your pussy is a hairsbreadth away from his lips. He blows on it, and your eyes shut with sensitivity. You clutch the cushion of the couch, hoping it’ll help steady you, but the moment his tongue flicks at your clit, you realize nothing will be able to steady you. Yet you still hold onto it, especially as he dives his tongue between your folds, lapping up your juice. He moans in contentment, before moving to your clit again. And his tongue is wicked down there, like it knows exactly what you like.

You grab a handful of his hair, grinding into his face. You’re pretty sure he’s chuckling down there, and then he unleashes himself. Sucking hard, alternating circling motions to teasing you with his teeth. You’d expect the latter to hurt, but the way he does it just makes you see stars, and your pussy clenches around nothing again.

San is deadly good with his mouth. Both with crafting lies and pulling moans out of you, and your thighs tighten against his face as he sucks particularly hard, before dipping his tongue inside of you. His nose brushes your clit, and then he forces you to properly sit on him.

The way his tongue moves inside of you, lapping up your juices while opening you up, has you on the brink of an orgasm in no time. Especially as he makes you grind again, holding you tight into place. When one of his hands moves from around your thigh to reach your clit, you cry out, head throwing back.

He’s quick to rub at your sensitive clit, and you grab one of your breasts, massaging it mindlessly before you pinch your nipple, hard, right in time with a skilled swipe of his tongue. Your orgasm meets you there, shaking through you as it explodes in a blinding flash of light. You moan, loudly, something that resembles his name, and he keeps you going, guides you through your high until you cringe with oversensitivity.

Only then does he let you climb off from his face. You stand on wobbly legs, before deciding to sit next to him, and you catch sight of the smirk on his lips. It makes you blush, right as you realize what you’ve just done.

When you realize what kind of sinful activity he’s dragged you in, this time around.

“Gosh,” is all you manage to say.

He chuckles, clearly proud with himself. “That felt good?”

You worry at your bottom lip, eyes going down to the tent in his pants. You want to pleasure him too, to take him in your mouth and make him feel good, but he stops you with a hand wrapped around your wrist.

“Don’t.”

You still and you meet his gaze with slightly-widened eyes. “Why not?”

His features turn somber, haunted, and the heat of the moment passes so quickly you think it might have been a figment of your imagination.

Were you really riding his face just a moment ago?

“Please just lay next to me,” he says, barely even a whisper.

You don’t know a lot of men that would choose cuddling over getting a blowjob, but if that is what he wants, then you’ll give it to him. You lay next to him, glad that the injured side is closer to the couch. That way, you can cuddle up to him, resting your head on his shoulder while he wraps an arm around you.

“Angel,” he murmurs after a time. “You’re a fucking angel. I think you’re my salvation.”

You highly doubt you hold this kind of power, but you don’t want to tell him. Have never been good at weaving beautiful lies for him to believe.

“We should stay here,” he continues. “Forever.”

And you wish you could. Wish reality didn’t exist, didn’t call for you to go back to your regular life like you’ve never been here with him. But you know tomorrow exists, and you’ll have to leave.

“We should have stayed in the field,” you choose to answer. “Under the shooting stars.”

“I wished for a lifetime with you, then,” he admits. “I wished I’d never have to let you go.”

You’d wished for a similar thing, but life is far too cruel to allow a world of first loves.

“Why did you…” you trail off. The question has haunted your sleepless nights for a long time after the break-up. Even years later, you’d still think about it sometimes, wondering if nostalgia would choke you up. “Why did you decide to join the gang?”

He tenses next to you. But you start tracing a mindless circle on his chest, through the shirt, and it distracts him enough for him to reply. “I thought I didn’t have a choice.”

“Did you?”

His voice holds the weight of the world when he says, “I did. And I made the wrong one.”

You want to cry, but you’re older now. You’re not the teenager who thought she was going to die from losing him anymore. You know what living without Choi San is like, and as much as it hurts, you know that it’s doable.

“You made the one you believed was right,” you say carefully. “But I do wish you had made a different one.”

He holds you a little tighter, as if that will make it so tomorrow never comes. “Me too.”

There’s an eternity of flickering candlelight on the ceiling, of the circles you trace on his chest and of your breathings forming a melody. Outside, the wind has died down, and the world is silent except from an occasional cricket braving the world after the storm.

“Where will you go, once you graduate?” he asks, taking you by surprise.

Because he knows. It’s one of the few things that hasn’t changed.

“As far away from here as I can.”

“I hope you find peace, wherever you go,” he whispers. “I hope you forget all about how we grew up in a hellhole.”

Do you feel bad for saying it? Maybe. But you can’t help saying it anyway. “I will, San.”

And like that rainy day years ago, you think you can see him walk away.

*****

Seven years later

The winter sun is strangely bright, up above. You’d think it will warm you up, but the cold is relentless, violent, and it sneaks into your coat as you walk out of the hospital. You’ve just finished a thirty-hour shift, and you can’t wait to be home.

To take a shower and forget that you’ve lost a patient today.

But you’ve saved another. A young man, with a stab wound in his ribs that should have killed him. But you saved him, stabilized his condition to the point you don’t have to worry about him anymore. Which is the only reason why you’re allowing yourself to leave now.

You’re never able to leave until you know your patients are okay. It’s been that way since your first patient, in a cabin in the woods you’ve done your best to forget.

You’d let San stay, after that weekend. He had given you the number of one of his friends, so you could get some clothes for him, and you’d gone back the next weekend. Bringing him the clothes, making love to him under the moonlight as if that would change the ending.

The following week, you had gone back to find the cabin empty. He’d left a note behind.

I hope I can find you again, wherever you go.

You kept the note. It’s in your bedside table, back at home, in the nice apartment you’ve been able to rent for yourself with all the money you’ve been making now. Enough to pay back student loans from med school, enough to reassure you that never again will you struggle.

You’ve never seen San again after. He hasn’t found you, and you haven’t searched for him. Have only looked up his name a couple of times, in the months following his disappearing, scared you’d find out that he was found dead in a ditch. But his name never came up, and you wondered if he had managed to escape, if he had managed to find a place where Bangtan couldn’t reach him.

You found peace, on your side of the country. Life is kinder here, though it still holds the same atrocities. You wonder if it’s the novelty of the city, or maybe if you’ve just grown old enough to be able to withstand the bad that the world throws your way. It’s hard to tell – you haven’t kept contact with anyone from back home, except Jae-on.

Jae-on, who’s moved with you when you’ve decided to come here, like he said he would. Jae-on, who asked you to marry him in late October, and you said yes. The ring sits heavy on your finger, and you mindlessly play with it.

In another world, you would already be married to Choi San. Sometimes, you catch glimpses of that world – a piercing gaze in the morning, a smile and a kiss to your temple. Talks about angels, children screaming in happiness. In another world, you’d be pregnant again, waiting patiently to add another piece of you and him to this world.

It’s fun to think about, sometimes, but you’ve been good at forgetting. Like you told him you would – most times, you’ve forgotten all about Choi San.

But today, you had a patient that reminded you of him. So you allow yourself to feel, you allow yourself to think about that note tucked in the bottom drawer of your bedside table, hidden under the thick socks you never use.

You allow yourself to think about the cabin in the woods, about the field where you would have gotten married had you been in that picturesque world you like to imagine. You think about laser quests and first kiss and rainy days and meteors. You think about summer, about wildflowers and him.

You’re so lost in thought you miss your stop home, and you begrudgingly get out at the next one. You’re tired, and your hands are shaking as you pull your phone out of your tote bag, wanting to text Jae-on that you’re going to be home late because you missed your stop. You walk to the other side of the tracks, sighing when you see a five-minutes wait for the next subway.

At least the sun is high in the sky, even though it is dreadfully cold. You shiver, putting your phone back in your tote bag so you can hide your hands in your sleeves again, hoping it’ll preserve them from the cold.

In your exhaustion, you forgot your gloves back at the hospital, you realize. It’s strange that you only realize now, and you reckon you really need to sleep, because your brain isn’t even working right anymore.

You sigh, glancing at the display showing the time. Still four minutes to wait. You think at this rhythm you might freeze in your spot before the next subway comes. You try to hide your face in the lapel of your coat, but a movement on the other platform attracts your gaze.

A man is helping an older woman climb down the stairs. She’s speaking loudly, which might be what attracted your gaze in the first place. You follow them as they walk down the stairs, and then when the man turns towards you, you meet his piercing gaze.

He smiles, and you realize that maybe, all those years ago, he was not spinning lies to you after all.

☆☆☆☆☆

Gosh yeahhh rereading it had me ralize that it is a lot sadder than I remembered it to be. At least we got an open ending ... :') What did we think? Should I write about other groups more often? Let me know what you think! All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate

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cas-skz · 1 year

Text

Insatiable

Choi San x (fem)Reader

Requested: San has a high sex drive

Word Count: 2.5k ish

Warnings/Tags: 18+, MDNI, Established Relationship, Unprotected Sex and Oral, Soft Dom, Language

Written by: @littleforeignaffairs

You often pick up San from the gym and bring him back to the dorm. He could jog back as a cool down, but it’s a little extra time you can spend with him. You lean against your car, arms crossed over your chest. San walks out from the building. Only wearing gym shorts. His bag and towel swung over his shoulder. You look him over when he stops in front of you.

“Hm?” He questions. He wipes his face and neck with his towel.

“Must you?”

“I’m hot. Showers don’t cool me down enough” San moves in closer to you, hand reaching for the car handle “And don’t look at me like that. I’m not a piece of meat”

You laugh, moving out of the way.

“Could’ve fooled me”

He rolls his eyes, though his lips curve into a conniving smirk. He starts around the other side of the car, holding his hand out for the keys. You look at his hand, dropping the keys in his fingers without argument. You both settle into the car in your new assigned seats.

It doesn’t take long for San to rest his hand on your upper thigh. He squeezes it slightly. You snicker, keeping your eyes focused out the window. This was another reason you often pick San up from the gym. 3 out of 4 days you pick him up, his hands are on you.

You don’t know what it is, but after he works out, his sexual appetite is insatiable. You look over to him. His eyes are on the road, but that’s not what they’re focusing on. They’re eager as his fingers give you another squeeze. You shift your body in the seat, facing San. You lean close to him, bringing your lips against his ear.

“What… you can’t wait 10 minutes to get home?”

You place a sloppy kiss on his neck. His skin is still damp and smells fresh. Your hand rests on his lap as well, sliding down over his crotch.

“Jesus” You half laugh. He’s already fully hard in his shorts.

He takes his hand off you, and places it on top of your hand, making your grab his erection. San glances at you, and your lips. You smirk, tutting

“No kisses while driving” Though you lean down some, placing a kiss on his clavicle, then his chest. “At least not on the lips”

San groans when you sink your teeth into his chest. You apply pressure to your hand, rubbing San’s erection hard. You have to admit, with San’s sex drive, he always kept things interesting.

Your free hand unbuckles your seat belt, allowing you to lean down more. You pull San’s cock from his shorts, staring down the red throbbing member. You wrap your fingers around him, rubbing your thumb just underneath his head.

You can hear San try to moisten his mouth. You peek up at him, he’s looking at you too.

“Eyes on the road. Or I stop”

Sans jaw tenses. He presses his lips together to hide a grin.

You return your focus the beauty in front of you. You thumb now running up over the tip of his head. A build up of pre cum starts forming on his head. You have to restrain yourself from putting him in your mouth.

You hover your lips over his head, spitting loudly onto him. San groans at the sound. You smirk, your hand immediately going to work on him. You keep your grip somewhat loose, sloppy. Letting the wet sounds fill the car. San shifts a little under your hold, breathing in slowly.

Your eyes shift to the steering wheel, his knuckles white. His reactions always made you want more. You switch your strokes from long and slow to short, quick and focusing on just his head. You see his hands twist on the steering wheel. You cant help yourself now…

You wrap your lips around San’s head, producing a soft vibrating sigh. San’s hips jerk back in his seat, a chuckle leaving his lips. Once again, you keep your work sloppy, sucking him audibly. He always comments on the sounds you make; whether it be giving him head or him fucking you senseless.

Without warning, you feel one of San’s hands at the back of your head. He pushes your head down, his cock hitting the back of your throat. Your body curls a little as you breathe through your nose. A grumbling moan travels up San’s chest, his cock starting to twitch in your mouth.

You moan with him, then give his thigh two taps. The pressure at the back of your head releases. You lift your head, eyes still looking down at San’s wet cock. It's still bouncing.

The car is barely in park in the garage when you hop into San’s lap. You hold his face between your hands, kissing him eagerly. San breathes in sharply though his nose, his hand reaching for the handle. You kick the door open once he pulls it, stumbling out of the car. You laugh a little, grabbing San by the wrist pulling him out behind you.

His hands rest on your waist, holding your body close to his. He smiles down at you, his gaze tender. Loving. You hold his face in both your hands again, placing a few gentle kisses on his lips. San’s hands slide off your waist, under your ass to lift you up. You laugh lightly, wrapping your legs around him.

You bring his lips back to yours, kissing him deeper now. San begins walking towards the door, going inside the dorm. Despite hearing sounds of music across the dorm, you keep your lips working against his. San stumbles a little, kicking his shoes off, hitting your back up against the wall.

San’s lips travel down onto your neck, sucking at your skin. You bite at your lip, knowing he’ll leave his mark on you. You sigh softly, tangling your fingers in his hair. San's body pushes up against yours, his hips grinding into you. Your fingers grip his hair, pulling his head back.

He lets out a groan, lips curled into a smirk.

“Stop stalling”

San squeezes your ass, and hard, before walking with you to his room. San kicks the door shut and throws you onto his bed. You laugh a little, but San’s face is serious. He positions himself at your waist, fingers hooked in your pants. He eyes you, pulling them down slowly. You brush your fingers through his hair, knowing exactly what his thoughts are.

San kisses your stomach, hip, thigh.. then opens your legs. He breathes in sharply, looking over your wet opening. His mouth goes straight for you. Your walls clench around nothing at the feel of San’s tongue. You sigh a moan, head falling to the side as you watch him.

You see his hands removing his shorts, wrapping his fingers around his still hard length.

“San” You moan.

Watching him please himself while he pleases you sends shivers through your body. He sucks at your clit, his eyes watching your reaction. Your breathing hitches in your throat, wanting to moan. You hold his face against your dripping pussy, wanting more but wanting him to fuck you.

“Please” You whimper “Don’t tease me”

San grins, rubbing his free hand over your thigh. His hand hides underneath his chin as the tips of his fingers trace over your opening. Your hips move involuntarily, trying to get his fingers to slip inside you. You whine again, eyes closing tightly.

San hums a moan on your clit, causing your hips to jerk up once again.

“Fuck me, please” You beg him.

San pushes 2 fingers inside you. It isn’t what you mean, but your walls clench immediately around him, hungry for something. He twists his hand, palm up, his fingers pushing up inside you. He does not start gentle. Your jaw drops at the immediate build in pleasure.

Your body becomes tense and you push your hips up. The sounds of your pussy sucking his fingers becomes wetter, sloppier. San sits up, his fingers still working your sweet spot. You try and open your eyes to watch San. He kneels between your legs, hand still pumping his cock.

His own lips are parted as he breathes heavily, watching between your face and your pussy. A pulse of energy rushes through you. You arch your back off the bed. Your pussy starts contracting quicker.

“San, I’m cu-“

He doesn’t need to hear your words. He hears your body. His hand works roughly, slamming your g spot. You shut your eyes tight, and your body begins to shake. Your breathing turns to moans as you soak his hand, and over his cock.

“Shit..” San groans.

He uses your slick as lubricant, pumping his hand faster. His fingers slow in you, but your jerks don’t dissipate. You hear San groan again, and warmth lands on your pelvis. You open your heavy eyes. You love seeing his face when he comes.

You try to control your breathing, though your body still vibrates. San leans over on you, kissing your lips. His cock is still hard against your abdomen as he slides it over your skin.

“I’m not done with you” He murmurs on your mouth.

You moan a little when he pushes his hips against you harder.

“Just turn over. You don’t have to do anything else”

You share another hungry kiss before San lifts his body up, allowing you to turn over. San runs his hands over your back before gripping your hips, yanking them back to raise your ass in the air.

You could never decide on your favourite position. You love being able to watch San. You love being in control of him. But nothing would ever beat taking him from behind. You sway your hips the slightest bit, looking over your shoulder.

San licks his lips, watching you like you’re his prey. He squeezes your hips a little before bending over you, his cock firmly pressed up against your ass. He places small kisses over your back, letting his lips suck your skin. He breathes out heavily, hands sliding up your waist.

A feeling of euphoria washes through your body. Your eyes close, a slight smile pulling at your lips. San may seem “just plain horny” to others, but he is always giving you the attention. His hands always praise your curves. His lips marking every inch of you, claiming you as his. It wasn’t always just sex when he got like this, but moments of raw emotion and connection.

San rests his forehead on your back, moving his hips to slide his cock between your folds. You press your lips together firmly, muffling a sigh. He rubs against your opening, hands still exploring your body. You twitch underneath his body, still sensitive. You know he’s working at building you up again before he thrusts back into you.

You grip the bed, trying to push your ass back into his pelvis. San slides his hand over your breast, then onto your neck. He tightens his hand around your throat, pulling your head back. You gasp, but he groans. The slightest touch from you can switch San back into the insatiable man. You smile some, trying to look at him.

“You want it?” He whispers lowly

You nod eagerly.

San pushes the tip of his head inside you. You whimper, clenching around him. Or at least what he let you have of him. His thrusts his hips slowly, still only letting you have the tip.

You reach behind your back in attempt to grab San’s waist. Instead, he straightens up, pushing you down into the bed. San grabs your wrist tightly, pinning it against your back. Another whimper.

“San, please”

“Please, what?” You can hear the cocky smile that is most likely paste on his lips.

“I want you inside me. All of you. Not just a little. Please”

He breathes in through his teeth, his thrusts deepening the slightest big.

“Mm, you know I can’t resist when you beg me” With that, San thrusts once, hard, into you.

Your eyes widen, a loud moan passing your lips. San grabs your other wrist, pulling it behind your back as well. He uses them wisely, pulling you back into him when he starts thrusting more into you. Each motion hits you perfectly, your body feeling pleased and weak.

“Fuck” You choke a moan, clenching tightly around his cock

“That’s it, baby” He groans.

The sounds of your breathing, moans and skin hitting together soon becomes muffled. Your eyes feel heavy, your lips parting to breathe in quick shallow breaths.

San notices. He pulls you up quickly, letting your wrists go.

“Not yet” He huffs

San holds your throat, the other arm wraps around your waist. He slides back, his feet hitting the floor. San keeps you on the bed, but holds you close.

“I’m going to cum” You whimper

“Not yet!” He repeats, almost growling at you.

You raise an arm, placing your hand at the back of San’s head. He rests his forehead to your temple. Your fingers grip his hair, the pressure in your core becoming unbearable to hold.

“San” You warn him again.

You can feel the sweat dripping off him, onto your skin. His cock starts to convulse inside you. You pull San’s face to meet yours and kiss him hard. You feel your head rush, and your body shake. San groans on your lips, as you coat his cock. You didn’t think he could, but he thrusts harder, edging himself closer.

You grab his hand from around your waist and run down your body. You make him rub your clit. San’s face wrinkles, a slight groan vibrating in his throat. You tremble in his hold, his fingers only making you shake more. Your body lurches forward as a new wave of pleasure hits you. You can’t help but scream a moan, cumming again over San’s hand and bed.

He curses under his breath tensing up. His hips slow, but still hit you hard. You both lean over again, San grinding into you. He moans a low tone, finally releasing inside you. You feel your body going limp, San wraps his arm under you to hold you up.

He kisses over your shoulder, his breath hitting your sticky skin. San pulls back from you slowly, his own body shaking. He falls beside you, pulling you down as well. You close your eyes, your heart beat echoing loudly in your ears. You feel the bed shift, and then San’s lips on yours.

You return the kiss, laughing softly. You cup his face with one hand and open your eyes. His dark eyes glisten as he looks over your face.

“You’re going to have to carry me if you keep this up” You tease him

You brush his damp hair off his brow, placing another kiss on his lips. He mimics you, petting your hair back

“I’ll take good care of you” He nods “I’ll even carry you to the shower. Right now” He hops up, stumbling slightly at his still weakened legs. You laugh a little as he scoops you up in his arms and starts towards the door.

“San, clothes!” You squeal

“They’re just going to come off anyway!”

#choi san smut #choi san fanfiction #choi san x reader #choi san fluff #san fluff #san smut #san x reader #ateez smut #san fic #san fanfic #mdni #littleforeignaffairs #kpop fanfic #kpop smut

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coupsie-daisies · 6 months

Text

Kinktober '23: Getting Caught | Choi San ft. Jeong Yunho

Pairing: Established Choi San x Fem!Reader, Jeong Yunho x Reader (implied to happen)

Genre: Smut (minors DO NOT interact), Kinktober 2023

Summary: San gets needy before dance practice with the boys, so you decide to help him out

WC: 1.3k

Warnings: Reader is called princess, oral (male receiving), dirty talk, praise, degradation, just so much blowjob description, Yunho is lowkey a voyeur

A/N: Unedited as always. Lemme know what you thikn

Tags: @dragonofthenorth0726 // @wooyussy // @burningupp-replies // @bunnypig18 // @decaffedthoughts // @brownieracha // @ferrethyun // @snow-pegasus // @walkxthexmoon // @aesteraceae // @wonuqrtz // @mixling-blog // @wonwooz1

Main Masterlist

Kinktober '23 Masterlist

This fanfiction is property of @/coupsie-daisies, reposting on any other platform is prohibited

Dating a person like San meant going out of your way to make time for the two of you, even more so with him being an idol. It meant spending time with the other members too, not that you minded that part, but most of all it meant that finding time for just the two of you was difficult. So it wasn't unusual for you to end up sitting in a practice room while San danced his ass off, trying to get a head start on the choreography that he and the group were supposed to be working on in a little while when the others got there.

You were watching, always in awe of San's stage presence and how vastly different it was to the man you knew in real life. Your phone with whatever idle game you'd been playing was discarded in your lap, your attention fully on the way San moved, the roll of his hips, the sharp movements of his arms that made his biceps flex, the way his shirt rode up just enough to give you a glimpse of his stomach. You swallowed.

"See something you like?" He asks, startling you out of your thoughts. You laughed, handing him his water bottle as he walked over to you.

"Of course I do. Why else do you think I come here?" You shot back. He took a drink from his bottle before leaning down to press a kiss to your lips.

"For my dazzling personality?" He asked, catching your lips again. You hummed, pulling him down so he was closer. Lord knows he needed a rest. He landed on his knees, surprisingly gracefully and drew you closer. You would have whined about his sweat slicked skin against yours but then his mouth was on you again, tongue drawing over your lip until you let him in. You whined into his mouth as his tongue worked against yours, exploring your mouth while his hands gripped at your sides.

"Sannie," You whined as his lips moved down over your jaw, along your pulsepoint to suck harshly. You could feel his lips curl proudly at the reaction he earned. "The boys are gonna be here soon and they're gonna catch you all worked up."

You were trying to keep your mind reasonable, really you were, but you weren't always good at that. Especially when your boyfriend's warm hands were pushing your shirt up, gliding along your sides, brushing against the cups of your bra and teasing your nipples through the thing material.

"Then you should help me out before they get here. Right, princess? Don't want your Sannie getting caught with a hard on, do you?" He asked, bringing your hand to rub against the outline of his cock through his sweats. You should have argued, or tried to reason with him in any way, but you couldn't when you could feel how badly he wanted you.

You got up on your knees, and the second you did he was springing to his feet, already pushing his pants and underwear down enough for his cock to spring out. It was so pretty, long and leaking precum that ran down the underside. You reached out, wrapping a hand around his length and stroking him slowly, dipping your thumb into his slit and revelling in the way he whined for you.

You let go of him, suckling your thumb into your mouth and tasting him before leaning forward and dragging your tongue from base to tip, wrapping your lips around the head of his cock and sucking gently. His hand slid into your hair, and you slowly bobbed your head lower, taking him inch by inch and swirling your tongue against the underside of his shaft the way he liked.

"Just like that. Such a perfect mouth, I'm so lucky." He hissed. His free hand pressed against the mirrored wall behind you, holding himself steady as you picked up your pace. The head of his cock was nudging into your throat, making you gag, but you never pulled away. He looked down at your watery eyes looking right back up to him as a mix of your spit and his precum leaked from the corners of your stretched lips.

He pushed deeper, hips starting to roll to meet your mouth, holding you on his dick while your throat constricted and spasmed around him. The sounds of your gags and his moans filled the practice room, and you could feel your own arousal leaking between your thighs at the feeling. When he pulled you off of his cock completely, your face was streaked with tears, lips swollen and glossy, and fuck if he didn't think you were the most breathtaking thing he'd ever seen.

You pouted at him, trying to get his cock back in your mouth, but he tugged at your hair, earning a surprised whimper from you.

"Sannie, please. Please, want it so bad. Wanna suck your dick, want you to use my mouth. Please." You begged, scalp stinging from the way he was still gripping your hair. He let go then, smoothing his hand over the back of your head.

"Such a cockdrunk little thing. Cute. Want me to cum down your throat? Fuck your face like the perfect toy you are?" He asked. You nodded eagerly, shifting on your knees and feeling the bruises threatening to bloom if you didn't move soon. But you didn't care, too focused on the thought of him fucking your throat raw.

Then he was guiding your head back to his dick, sliding in easily and holding the back of your head still so he could fuck into your mouth frantically. He knew time was running out, but he'd give anything to just keep feeling you. He'd never been with anyone so eager to suck him off for as long as you were. Fucking perfect. He groaned, sweat rolling down his tanned skin as he listened to the filthy sounds of his cock filling your mouth.

He was so close, and you were looking at him with those eyes that always did him in, and then the door was swinging open.

"Am I interrupting?" Yunho's voice carried through the room, a tone of disgust blending with the undeniable intrigue that laced his words. San pulled his cock out of your mouth, scrambling to pull his boxers back up and leaving you looking between the two in mild panic.

Yunho examined the situation, his own dick twitching with interest. He'd always thought you were sexy, San knew it and loved to tease him about it. And there you were, perched so pretty on your knees with your lips swollen and glossed with spit, your hair messy from having San's hands tugging at it so much, and the prettiest doe eyes he'd ever seen. He scoffed, tossing his bag down by the door.

"Don't stop on my account. Better finish before the others get here." He said. San looked like he was about to combust, but it was obvious that he wanted nothing more than to keep going.

"Do you need help too, Yunnie?" You asked, already tugging at San's boxers. He hesitated for a moment, but then he was pushing them down, stroking his dick and waiting for Yunho to answer so he could have your attention back. Yunho let out a giggle, one of delight and maybe a little bashfulness.

"Think you have time for both of us?" He asked. You lit up, nodding eagerly. And before you knew it San was sliding his length back into your mouth, stroking your cheek gently as you returned to sucking him off.

"Trust me, hyung. You'll blow the second you feel her mouth."

"Is that a challenge?" Yunho asked, palming his growing bulge through his pants. San shook his head, groaning when you deepthroated him.

"Not a challenge. It's a promise." He said. And you hummed at the praise. It was a promise you were determined to keep.

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hahafixon · 9 months

Text

Small Town Living ~ *Choi San*

Summary: San is moving to your small town and you’re curious as to what brings him here. Of course, your grandmother thinks the two of you should get together. And falling in love with him might be easier than you anticipated…

Pairing: Choi San X G/N!Reader

Genre: Fluffy Oneshot

Word Count: 1900

Warning: a meddlesome grandmother and great aunt

Masterlist

Taglist: @foxwinter @mxnsxngie @maeleelee @imagine-a-life-like-this @kpop-will-kill-me

A/N: Part 2 Small Town Dreaming can be found right here.

Many people would say living in a small town was too confining. But you would highly disagree. Nothing beats biking through town, saying hello to all of the locals. Knowing everyone and always looking out for each other, it was your place to be. Besides, you got enough excitement from your grandmother’s bed and breakfast, where you worked. There were enough out-of-towners to keep you satisfied with what was outside of your small town.

Propping your bike outside of the B&B, the bell above the door jingled as you entered. The smell of home and summer hit you and you let out a contented sigh. This was exactly where you belonged. And you couldn’t be happier.

“Good morning, Grandma.” You called out, knowing she would hear you from wherever she was in the building.

“Morning dear! Did you get everything from the store?” She answered from somewhere else.

You nodded, even though she couldn’t see you. “Yes, I’ve got the groceries and toiletries to spare. Anything else you need from me?”

“Oh, thank you, dear. Can you double check the guest book and the ledger? I want to make sure we’re not overbooked this summer. It is the busy season, you know.”

“Of course.”

Pulling out the thick guest book, as your grandmother refused to digitize anything, you started scanning who made a reservation and how long they would be staying. You double-checked everything against the receipts you made sure to receive and the large calendar on the front desk. A smile stretched across your face when everything checked out. You loved when things fell into place like this.

Despite everything being perfect according to the guest book, calendar, and receipts, one name caught your eye.

“Grandma, this Choi San who will be staying with us for a couple weeks, he’s not related to Ms. Choi, is he?” You asked.

Your grandmother, appearing by your side, glanced at the name and the receipt. She nodded, “Yes, she’s his great aunt. Apparently he’s looking to open a taekwondo studio here in town. If you ask me, I think it’s exactly what this town needs.”

You nodded absent-mindedly. “Yes, of course.”

“Oh, dear, before I forget, can you help me clean up room fourteen? The Sol family is going to be checking in late this afternoon.”

This knocked you out of your stupor and you smiled. “Yes, absolutely. We wouldn’t want to leave our customers waiting now, would we?”

She chuckled, pinching your cheek. “That’s why you’re my favorite employee and grandchild.”

The rest of the day went on like normal. You helped check the Sol family into their room, kept the rooms clean, directed guests to points of interest in town, and picked up dinner for you to share with your grandmother. However your mind was elsewhere. You couldn’t help but keep thinking about San who was coming tomorrow.

Ms. Choi was a dear friend of your grandmother and she spoke highly of her great nephew. She said he was a hard worker with a kind heart, friendly disposition, and a handsome face. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t interested in meeting him. But you wouldn’t tell your grandmother that. She was a notorious gossip and matchmaker. She’d try to set you up with him and be planning your wedding before you even had your first date.

You shook your head, banishing the thought from your head. You were being ridiculous. There was no way you were going to fall in love with him. Maybe you could be friends, but definitely not lovers. It sounded way too cliché, like a bad Hallmark movie.

“Did you hear me, dear?”

Glancing at your grandmother, who was giving you a cheeky smile, you sighed and shook your head. “I’m sorry, grandma.”

She waved her hand with a teasing scoff. “Don’t be. Your mind has been elsewhere all day. And don’t deny it! I know you well enough to know when you’re not thinking of work. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were thinking of San all day.”

You practically choked on your food and she let out a bark of laughter. “Ha! I knew it! Oh I will have to tell Ms. Choi about this tomorrow when I meet her for tea and quilting along with the rest of the quilting society, which is what I was trying to tell you earlier. Oh, you’re free to join as well, dear. I’m sure the ladies would love to see you again!”

Trying to recover from almost suffocating, you said, “Shouldn’t someone stay here to look after the B&B? Besides, we have a couple coming to check in late tomorrow, don’t we?”

“You’re right, but still. At least make an appearance.” She encouraged you with a stern nod. “You spend too much time here, dear. I worry about your social health.”

“Believe me, grandma, my social health is just fine.”

“Sure it is.” She rolled her eyes and you groaned.

“Just, finish your dinner, please!”

“Whatever you say, darling grandchild of mine.”

You were tossing and turning all night, trying not to get too hung about tomorrow. San was just another customer. He was just a family member of a friend. He wasn’t special. You just needed to treat him like a normal customer, that’s all.

And so as you anxiously wait at the front desk, you repeat it over and over again. He was just a normal customer. He was just a normal customer. He was just a normal-

A perfectly normal and devilishly handsome customer.

Seriously, it was unfair how handsome he is.

“San?”

He smiled and you swear you were about to smack that frustratingly adorable smile off his face. “You must be Y/n. My great aunt told me about you and your grandma. She wasn’t kidding when she said that you take this bed and breakfast seriously.”

“Should I be flattered or offended?”

His smile fell, replaced with a look of dread. “No! No, no, no! I didn’t mean to offend you! I’m so sorry if I did!”

You laughed at his flustered state. “I’m just teasing. Are you ready to check in?”

He nodded, relief causing his shoulders to sag. “Yes, please.”

As he signed the guest book, which you noticed he had excellent handwriting, you commented, “So what are you doing staying in the bed and breakfast, instead of with your great aunt?”

“Well, her place is really small and she only has one guest bedroom that is so full of quilting materials, it’s basically a wall now. Besides, I was the one who suggested coming here, so that it forces me to find my own place faster and I stay out of her hair. Of course, she insisted that she pay for my stay.” He explained, handing back the pen.

You nodded and put the guest book away. “I completely understand. That’s why we don’t have anyone staying in room twelve. It’s full of my grandma’s quilting and scrapbooking materials.”

San laughed. “Looks like we both have overzealous and crafty relatives.”

A giggle escaped you. “Seems like.”

You handed him the key for room eight and showed him where he would be staying. San commented on how spacious, clean, and bright the room was before thanking you for your help. You listed off the amenities that came with a stay at the B&B, which included free breakfast every day and coupons to local eateries and shops. You also informed him of events going on in the town which made him chuckle, much to your confusion.

Noticing your slight concern, he said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh, but I couldn’t help it. You sound just like a tour guide. You must really love this town.”

Nodding sheepishly, you admitted, “I do. It’s where I grew up. I have so many fond memories and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. I love how tight-knit everyone is. It’s like we’re all each other’s family. Some people would find this town boring because it’s small, but I find it charming.”

He shook his head. “I don’t find it boring at all. I agree that this place is charming.”

“Is that why you moved here.”

San shrugged. “It’s part of the reason. The other reason is I just needed to get out of the city. It’s too loud and chaotic. I needed something more stable, if that makes sense?”

“Absolutely.”

There was a brief pause before San said, “Actually, I was about to go see my great aunt to let her know I arrived. You wouldn’t happen to know where I can find her? I tried calling her home phone, which went to voicemail, and her cell phone is always off. I just thought I’d ask since you know everything about this town.”

You gave a sheepish smile. “I know where she’d be. She’s with the quilting society, with my grandma. I can show you there since she spends most of her time there.”

“Yes please.”

So the two of you walked through town, you pointing out places of interest and San telling you how the town differed from the city. Conversation came easy with him and you found that every time he placed a hand on your arm to direct you from people walking in the opposite direction, you felt your heart skip a beat. Could it be that your meddling grandmother was starting to get to you? Were you really falling for Choi San? You begged internally to keep him securely in the friend zone, but you knew deep down inside that wasn’t going to happen. Not if your grandmother and his great aunt had anything to say about it.

When you arrived at the quilting society, you opened the door for him, to which he gave you a skeptical look. “You know, it’s customary for the gentleman to hold the door.”

“I’m sure it is but I reached the door first.” You teased back.

“Next time.” He shot you a wink that made you freeze for only a split second.

“Is that my Sannie?” A shout from the back of the building distracted you.

He chuckled before calling back, “Yes Auntie.”

Instantly, the two of you were swarmed by quilting society members. Of course they commented on how much the two of you’ve grown and how it was so good to see you. They bombarded San with questions about his life from infancy to now. You hung back which eventually caught your grandmother’s attention and she joined you.

“So, are you showing San around?”

You nodded. “I just thought since I know so much about this place, he’d like an unofficial-official tour guide.”

She chuckled and patted your cheek. “Such a good kid. And he’s very handsome isn’t he?”

You tried to force your blush away from your cheeks. “He’s not unattractive, if that’s what you’re trying to say.”

“Well I think you two make a cute couple.”

“Grandma-”

Before you could scold her, San and his great aunt came up to the two of you, his aunt with a big smile on her face. “Sannie was telling me how helpful you’ve been, showing him around and telling him all about our little town. We were wondering if you would like to join us for dinner tonight?”

“That sounds wonderful!” Your grandmother answered before you could. “That way we can start planning the wedding!”

“Grandma no!”

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bae4choi · 1 year

Text

ANGEL ~ C.SN

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Genre: Smut (without a plot), fluff

Word Count: 1,599

Warnings: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), switch San (top leaning), switch fem! reader (bottom leaning), Oral (f. Receiving), fingering (f. Receiving), praising, grinding, fully clothed fucking, Riding, Hickey giving (M. receiving), pussy slapping (only once👩‍🦯), Name calling (Angel, good girl, Sannie), creampie, implied aftercare

Authors Note: Hi!! This is my first time uploading onto tumblr (rather then Wattpad lol), I hope I’m doing this correctly!! This is also one of my first smuts so I hope it’s to your likings! Please let me hear your feedback if you have any :D I hope you enjoy! Also this isn’t really proofread so I apologize for any mistakes- (Btw my Wattpad is Hongstagram!)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"F-fuck" whimper after whimper fell from your mouth as your boyfriend continuously pumped his two fingers in and out of you while his tongue flicked over your sensitive bundle of nerves, causing your back to arch up from the bed.

Your fingers softly yet eagerly threaded through his hair, pushing his face further into your heat. A small but pleasurable chuckle left your boyfriend, the vibrations going straight to your sensitive clit.

San ate you out like a starved man, tongue reaching every crevice and giving you his full attention. His hand held the end of your short skirt to your stomach, allowing himself to look at you and of course, for you to look at him. His eyes looked up, catching you in a state of bliss, face scrunched and mouth slightly open as you let out your continuous sweet moans.

Your gaze caught his, giving him a small smile full of love and admiration. You pushed his hair away from his forehead, stroking his face as a way of showing your love for him.

"Y-you're so good for me S-Sannie" god did san absolutely adore you. You were his. His beautiful, sweet, and gentle Angel. He could never get enough of you.

One more harsh suck and fingers ramming into your tight hole had you over the edge, finally releasing the knot in your stomach, allowing your mouth to drop open with a loud moan of your boyfriends name.

His eyes watched you, continuing to pleasure you as you rode out your high. Eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed. Your hips grinding onto his face and fingers as San licked up the last of your juices.

Your eyes opened as you tried catching your breath. The gaze of your boyfriend laying on your fucked out form before placing one last kitten lick on your clit, causing you to jolt in your spot.

San's deep chuckle resonated through your ears as he raised himself to your level. You gave his shoulder a small slap, a pout making it's way to your face.

"Rude" you mumbled under your breath, earning another laugh from your boyfriend before his lips met your forehead, placing a small wet peck on the skin.

"Angel, I'm the one who let you come on my face, am I really so rude?" He teased once again, your face heating up at the comment while looking down at your lap.

He chuckled, his hand reaching to your face and pulling you towards him. His soft delicate lips met with yours in a passionate kiss, the taste of yourself overflowing in your mouth.

You crawled into his lap, the bed creaking at your movements while not breaking the kiss. Both legs on either side of him, your unclothed crotch coming to meet his covered erection and damping the material.

Sans tongue explored your mouth, not letting any part leave untouched. His hand came to meet your bare ass, giving it a small slap before gripping it roughly. Your hips instinctively bucking up causing the both of you to moan into one another's mouth.

"S-San I want you.. please" you ground your hips onto him, a pleasurable moan leaving his mouth and your arms came to wrap around his shoulders bringing him closer to yourself.

"Please Sannie~" you whined. Your already sensitive clit rubbing up against his rough Jean covered erection.

"How bad do you need it, Angel?" His voice came out deep next to your ear before licking a strip of your neck, a soft moan leaving your lips.

"So so bad Sannie~ need i-it so bad" you whined as you felt his lips suck the skin of your neck, both of your hips in sync while grinding onto one another.

"I need specifics, baby. What is it you need~?" He teased, fully aware of what you wanted but he wanted to hear it coming from your mouth.

"Your cock"

"W-want it inside me, p-please Sannie"

"If that's what my Angel wants, who am I to say no?" He chuckled at your eagerness as you reached your hand down to the zipper of his black jeans, pulling it down in a swift motion before slipping your hand fully into his pants and boxers.

A deep raspy groan leaving San when your hand gripped his hard erection, sliding your finger over the tip of his wet pre-cum leaking tip. You hovered yourself over him, rubbing him around your arousal. Making sure to lube him up before lining his cock up to your pulsing hole.

Yours eyes met his, as if asking for permission to sink down onto his thick cock.

"Go ahead Angel, I know you want it~" One of his hands gripped your waist while the other lifted your skirt up to your stomach, waiting for the moment he'll see himself finally enter you.

Something about fucking your boyfriend fully clothed was much more arousing than you had anticipated. His black jeans unzipped allowing his throbbing aching cock to peak out from them, and his loose black shirt that had rode up a little on his waist. Who knew something so little could have this affect on you.

Finally you let yourself sink down onto him, bottoming out on his cock. Small moans leaving your boyfriend when you ground your hips onto him. You bit your lip, holding your sounds in. Your arms wrapped around your boyfriends shoulders, brining yourself as much closer to him as you could.

Slowly you bounced up and down on him, letting yourself get used to the pleasing stretch and sometimes grinding down onto him. You gradually began to speed up your motions, Sans eyes constantly moving from your face and back down to watch himself disappear inside of you and reappear again.

"Fuck Angel, just like that" you moaned his name in response when he let himself start thrusting up into you as you came down onto him. Allowing you both to sync up your thrusts, giving you both the pleasing sound of smacking skin and lewd noises.

Your head fell to his shoulder, trailing wet and sloppy kisses onto his neck before sucking and biting onto his tan freckled skin. His moans came out high and whinny at the constant stimulation. You left his neck after Scattering dark purple and red hickeys all along his skin.

As he continued thrusting up into you, you felt yourself getting closer to your high. Your legs were burning from the amount of continuous movement causing your hips to stutter a bit, but that didn't stop you from continuing to pleasure yourself and San.

"Getting tired, Angel?" He chuckled when you let out a whine and looked into his eyes with a pout.

"Y-yes" you let out a high pitched moan when he let his hips ram into you with a hard thrust and let your eyes fall shut.

Finally you gave out, falling limp onto his body, and allowing every bit of sound fall from your mouth.

San took over, flipping you onto your back and placing both of your legs atop of either sides of his shoulders before entering your drenched hole again. He showed no mercy when slamming into you like his own personal fuck toy. But not forgetting to look you in the eyes with a loving look before your eyes squeezed shut when he finally hit your sweet spot.

You let out a loud moan of his name as your back arched up from the bed. He once again pushed your skirt away from the view of where you two connected, then letting his hands fall to your thighs where he then gripped them hard. Most likely leaving bruises for you to later find, but you loved it, the way he would manhandle you and leave his marks on your skin so everyone would know your were taken.

"I-I'm close S-Sannie~" you whined to your boyfriend.

"I know Angel, me too. G-Go ahead and let it out alright? Be a good girl for your Sannie~" one of his hands left your thigh, dropping it down to your clit and giving it a small slap before rubbing harsh circles on the sensitive bud.

That's all that was needed to make you see stars, giving your boyfriend one last look before squeezing your eyes shut. Your mouth fell agape and you clenched around your boyfriend while gripping the bed sheets below you, barely hearing your boyfriend hiss at the tightness over your own moans.

"Shit- Angel, I'm cumming" You felt him twitch inside of you, only increasing the pleasure when you felt his hot seed spill inside of you.

The two of you rode out your high together before San collapsed beside you, the two of you trying to catch your breaths. You both turned your heads to one another before letting yourselves laugh.

"I'll get you cleaned up, sound good?" He sat up only slightly before you pulled him down on top of you and grunting with the harsh impact.

"Don't go yet, I wanna cuddle" Your voice became muffled when you buried your face into his chest, feeling the way his laughs felt against you.

"Okay but only for a little, then we should get you cleaned up" he smiled fondly when he heard you mumble into his chest.

His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer into him and allowing the warmth of your body to spread through him.

"I love You, Y/N" he whispered before giving the top of your head a quick kiss.

"I love You too, Sannie"

179 notes · View notes

lazuli-writes · 4 months

Text

Sighs

summary: San scolds his duckie

pairing: Lee Donghyuck x Choi San

genre: smut / porn with barely any plot

estimated word count: 1000 words

a/n: Merry Christmas and happy holidays 🩵 This was inspired by their majesty themself, @atiny-piratequeen mahalo nui loa for both the inspiration and positive energy sharing you’ve given me to be able to complete this—I can’t believe this wip was born in late October… and I actually completed it, thank you so much motha!! Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)

©little-lazuli. Do not copy, repost, or translate without permission

Donghyuck’s grip tightened as time seemed to halt. The sensations that danced in and around him, swallowed Donghyuck whole. Consuming him and leaving him nearly pliant, with all his strength being used to ground himself in his embrace of San.

“P-plea-”

“Quiet.”

One command. One simple command was all it took for Donghyuck to mentally retract. His mind rushing to fill his train of thoughts, left empty by his gradual impaling upon San’s cock.

The elder lathered his neck with love bites. Lips, tongue and teeth all gradually traveling across Donghyuck’s neck and collarbones like a calligraphy pen, imprinting its identity upon its canvas.

“I told you to trust me”

Donghyuck whimpered, the spearing upon his core barely starting and already he was breaking at the seems. His limbs that trapped and locked itself around San’s neck and waist shivered under the desired invasion.

“I told you to be quiet… why couldn’t you?”

“I-I-“

“Quiet!”

Donghyuck screamed as a spongy head first kissed the realm of his prostate, before suddenly weighing down upon it viciously. San, leeching harder upon the younger’s neck, paid no mind to the pleasurable wails coming from the one sitting upon him.

Spots and darkness started to flood Donghyuck’s vision as he still awaited for San to fully sheath himself. This was the deed that almost always took the longest. San was nothing short of impressive in all that he did and all that he was.

And it left little for Donghyuck to wonder on why the simple act of inserting himself into the younger was always a prolonged activity.

“One thing I asked of you tonight. One thing. And you couldn’t even do that.”

Donghyuck was trapped between heaven and hell. The immeasurable divinity he felt under San’s every kiss, bite, touch and caress clashed with the sharpness of his lover’s words. He should have been able to do it. He should have kept his bratty mouth shut. He should have kept those mean and jealous words from spilling.

And yet he didn’t.

And now he would pay back what was due.

“I’m s-sorry… I’m so sorry h-hyung.”

Donghyuck’s struggled to voice his thoughts through the hiccups that infected his vocal cords, a side effect of the ever growing tension building within his core. Growing like a wildfire. A volcano simmering and stewing in its heat. Pressure building from within, awaiting for the prime moment to rupture and explode.

The sudden press of San’s hips against his shivering rear left Donghyuck’s sanity nearly depleted, with San as the only foundation left for him to mentally stand upon.

“You know… that was very bratty of you. To run your mouth to your dongsaengs like that.”

Each word from the elder became pronounced with a thrust of his hips into Donghyuck. The younger could barely maintain what little sanity he had left with every new bruising kiss to his core. Only tears could spill down his naked form as Donghyuck hid his face in shame and pleasure within the crook of San’s neck.

San eased his grip on his mate’s waist as his thrusts slowed to a halt, the elder’s nerves finally thawing with every sob Donghyuck struggled to hide. The elder’s once vexed demeanor crumbling under the weight of Donghyuck’s tears.

“Duckie… why didn’t you listen to me? I told you to trust me. To let me handle them. Why could you not do that… just this once?”

Pulling back to gather a look upon the other half of his soul, San would thank their current bodily position—with his cock cradled by the gods gift to him—for it was the only reason his heart didn’t shatter at the sight before him. Of his Donghyuck falling into the depths of his emotions, tears staining his cheeks and soft hiccups choking his baby.

“B-because….”

Donghyuck paused, taking a second to gather the last of his thoughts as a finger that wasn’t his own wiped away his tears. The younger’s grip on the elder didn’t falter in its desperation in being close to his mate, tightening as Donghyuck accepted the weight of San’s forehead upon his own. The two sharing a breath, with only each other in their entirety.

“Because you’re mine.”

Donghyuck barely spoke those words aloud when the sudden crush of San’s lips met his own. A warmth consumed Donghyuck further and further as he suddenly found himself enclosed between the sheets beneath him and San blanketing him completely.

And with barely a moment to catch his breath, Donghyuck felt San’s apology and adoration.

He felt San’s apology with the fingers that danced upon his skin. Traversing from its place upon his hips until it secured itself upon Donghyuck’s neck and jaw.

He felt San’s adoration when the elder’s other hand grasped Donghyuck’s cute cock. Fondling the adorable appendage, circling its head and stroking it to a desperate completion.

Donghyuck could only hold on tighter to his hyung before his lungs let loose a torrent of pleasured sighs. With his mind slowly ascending too high in the clouds and his release painting much of San’s navel white.

“My duckie.”

San almost chuckled at the way his words went unheard, as the now relaxing form of his boyfriend began to slip from its embrace to the elder. San was quick in maneuvering his love to lay limply upon their bed as he hovered over Donghyuck, like a beast delighting in its prey before completely devouring him.

“I-I… I sorry hyu-“

Donghyuck’s slurred words were cut off with another soulful kiss from San. The elder’s lips and tongue controlling the younger completely. Forever breathtaking, all consuming and irrevocably powerful in leaving San’s soul imprinted upon Donghyuck’s very own.

“I forgive you my duckie.”

And with those last few words, Donghyuck granted his beloved hyung a soft smile of acceptance before using the last of his strength to interlock his fingers with San’s as he awaited for more.

A sigh was all Donghyuck could grant San as the elder soon closed the space between the two.

#lazuli writes #ateez smut #choi san smut #san smut #san fanfiction #choi san fanfic #choi san fanfiction #nct smut #donghyuck fic #donghyuck fanfiction #donghyuck smut #haechan fanfiction #haechan smut #sanchan #pwp

19 notes · View notes

bteezxyewriter12 · 1 year

Note

Hello! I like the way you write! your work is the best!

I have a fanfiction request

San.

I would like something dirty with fluff

but there is a request, San has bad habits

I mean smoking or drinking alcohol.

I know it's shitty but I just think you understand.

And please dirty talk in dialect

Thanxxx 🖤🖤🖤

I normally don't take requests but this one intrigued me so here we go

Perfect Match

Pairing- San x Named Reader

Word count- 6k

Includes- Sex, oral, pussy eating, blow job, deepthroating, cum eating, sex from behind, riding, missionary, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, San is a smoker, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa @yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @kjqueen05 @san-realblkwife

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist

📝San Masterlist

J POV

"He's staring at you again", Amara says, her eyes flitting to the bar and back

I know who she's talking about

The Korean guy who's always at the bar that we frequent

Sitting in the corner, drinking either shots or beer

He's absolutely beautiful

Long back hair styled off the back of his forehead with an undercut

Brown eyes

Built, arm muscles to die for and I'm pretty sure his whole body is muscular

Dimples to die for

Insane cheekbones

And tattoos

Fuck tattoos

They're my weakness

Sleeves on both arms, from his fingers to his shoulders and I assume continue to his chest but I'm not sure

One on the side of his neck

And piercings too

Eyebrow ring, nose ring, ears full of earrings

Completely hot

And he does the one thing that turns me off

He smokes

Which is a hard no for me

It's gross and I hate the smell of it

He has tried to approach me a few times but I always evade him by either going to the bathroom or pretending that I'm getting a phone call

But I can't keep this up forever

"Yeah well", I shrug

"Jo, he completely hot and he's interested in you. For the life of me I don't know why you won't give him a shot. Or at least fuck him"

I roll my eyes, "He smokes"

Amara snorts, "So what? You don't need to marry the guy. Just fuck him. One and done"

"No. He'll smell like smoke"

"Joanne! You don't know him! He could be a great guy"

I raise my eyebrows, "Right. Or he could be the bad boy he's portraying. And you know my history with bad boys"

I've sworn off them

All they do is hurt me

I don't want to fuck with another bad boy fuckboy

No thanks

Amara sighs, "You're impossible"

I just shrug, "Yeah but you love me"

"He does look so good today", she comments

I roll my eyes glancing over at him

He does look good in his tight black Tshirt, black jeans and boots

But it doesn't matter

I lift my eyes to his face to see him already looking at me, puffing on a cigarette, blowing the air out of his mouth

When we make eye contact he smiles his gorgeous smile, dimples all out and I look away immediately, my face burning up

Fuck

"You're blushing", Amara teases

"He caught me looking at him"

She laughs, "I would say so. He's coming over here"

"Shit. I have to leave"

"No", Amara barks, surprising me, "You are going to talk to this guy. Either give him a shot or tell him no. Don't string him along"

"I'm not!", I argue

I haven't given him any indication that I'm interested

"You need to tell him you're not interested, if in fact you really aren't. I call bullshit though"

"Amara", I start

"Well I'm off. Text me", she says, suddenly leaving me alone

"Hi", I hear a voice behind me

Fuck

Fuck this, fuck Amara

I take a breath, turning to this guy

"Hi"

"I'm San", he says, with a slight accent

"Joanne", I answer

He nods, smiling

I should just stop this now

"Look, I'm sure you're great and all but I'm not really into bad boys"

His brow furrows, "I'm not a bad boy"

I just raise my eyebrow, in disbelief

"I'm not", he insists

"Sure", I answer, "So the tattoos, the piercings, the drinking and smoking means what? You're a cuddly cat?"

He actually looks a bit offended, "I wouldn't say that but I'm not bad. I like tattoos, I like piercings. I'm not in a gang or anything, I have a job. I don't fuck around with just any girl. I don't have a new girl every night. I'm not a player. I may have some bad habits like smoking and drinking but that doesn't make me bad"

Huh

Well he's defending himself and he's kinda making sense

Just because the way he looks doesn't make him a bad boy

I might have misjudged him

"So you're a good boy?"

"I wouldn't say that", he says, shrugging, "I'm just boy"

I actually laugh at that, "Ok boy"

"And you? Good girl? Bad girl?"

I shake my head smiling, "Just girl"

He smiles again, his dimples so hot, "So you're girl and I'm boy. Sounds like a match"

It would be but for one thing

"Look, I'm sorry but I'm not down with someone who smokes"

He nods, "So I don't smoke around you"

Damn he's persistent

"You'll smell like it"

"Shower before seeing you"

"It'll kill you"

"Not if I quit", he answers, "Eventually"

I really don't know what to say

He has an answer for everything

"So I know you don't like smoking. What about drinking? You don't seem to mind that?"

"As long as you're not pissed faced drink every night and aren't a violet drunk", I answer

"I'm not and I do not get black out drunk. I like remembering what I did the night before"

Well I do too

I've never been so drunk I blacked out

I never want to do that

Amara has and she was a fucking mess

That made up my mind to never be that way

"Plus I drink so I can't say anything about that" I admit

He nods, "True"

"Do you smoke weed? Do drugs?", I ask

I figure this is kinda like an interview so I'll ask him what I want

"Nope. None. Never tried and I don't have any interest"

"So what's your job?"

"Tattoo artist"

"No way! That's awesome"

He smiles, "Yeah it's pretty fun. Do you have any tattoos?"

I nod, "On my back, my thigh, right ribs and my sternum"

"Very sexy places", he smirks

I snort, "Sure, if you say so"

"I do say so"

"Ok then", I answer

"What's your job?"

"No job. I got to school. I'm studying to be a pharmacist"

"Ahh so you're a nerdy girl"

I blush hard, his guess not far off

"I really like nerdy girls", he smirks

I laugh out loud, "Yea ok"

"I do", he says seriously, "That's normally the type of girls I go for"

"Oh well....uh...ok"

He just smiles

He smiles a lot

But with that gorgeous smile, I would be smiling all the time too

"So what's your verdict? Am I a bad boy?"

I can hardly make a decision like that just from this interaction but he really doesn't seem to be

"As of right now, no. You just have a shitty habit"

He shrugs, "No one's perfect"

He's right

No one is

Definitely not me

And I can't deny the attraction I feel for him

He's hot and so far he has a good personality

"You're not just saying all this to get me to sleep with you then you turn out to be a complete asshole, are you?

"No. I don't lie. I hate liars. I have no reason to lie to you"

"Maybe you don't want to get rejected"

He snorts, "I'm fine with rejection. That's not a good enough reason for me to lie about myself and pretend to be something I'm not"

He does have a point

That'd be a lot of trouble for a single fuck

But experience has taught me that guys will do almost anything to get laid

San, however, seems sincere

"Are you lying to me?", he asks

Now I snort, "No. I was going to say no to you remember? There's no reason for me to lie"

"Right", he says, "And are you still saying no?"

I hesitate, then decide to just say fuck it

It's only one night

"No, I'm not. I'm saying yes"

He smiles and I can't keep my mouth closed, "Jesus Christ, you're smile is amazing. Those fucking dimples, fuck"

Then I realize what I said and my cheeks heat up immediately

"You like dimples?", he asks, his smile wider

I nod

He takes my hand and I let him, bring it to his face, putting my fingers on his right dimple

I softly press on his skin, touching him

"I'm not the only one with a good smile", he says, "Yours is fucking gorgeous. It's what made me notice you to begin with"

He's smooth, I'll give him that

His hand gently touches my cheek and I lean into his palm

Fuck, I want him so bad

Taking his other hand, I tell him, "Let's go"

He nods and I pull him towards the exit

Once outside the bar, I text Amara what I'm doing then ask him, "Your place or mine?"

He shrugs, "Whatever you want"

"Mine", I decide

"Lead the way", he says, taking my hand

I smile softly then we start walking

I don't live too far from the bar

Hence why it's the one I go to the most

We walk for about ten minutes to the dorm

"You live here?"

I nod, "In school remember?"

"Uh yeah"

I laugh, "I don't have a roommate. I live alone so we're good"

He nods, "Oh alright"

I take him to my room, locking the door after we're inside

I turn to him, not really knowing what to do

I've had a few one night stands before but I'm always awkward in the beginning

Thankfully, San moves to me, pulling me to him, his lips against mine

His kiss is fucking amazing, his lips so soft and smooth

I move my arms around his neck, letting him slip his tongue in my mouth, deepening the kiss

His hands move under my shirt, his hands touching my bare skin

Fuck, I need him now

I slowly lift his shirt up, as I kiss him, his arms moving, getting through the sleeves

He breaks the kiss for the short time it takes for the shirt to go over his head, his lips glued right back to mine

His hands move to my back, pulling the strings that are holding my tank top on open

I let the shirt fall from my body, his hands wrapped around my breasts, squeezing softly

Moaning in his mouth, I start unbuckling his belt

He smiles against my lips, murmuring, "Can't wait huh?"

"You came here to fuck right?", I answer

He pulls away, shaking his head, "I came here to be with you. Not just fuck"

I blink in surprise, liking what he's saying a lot

It makes me feel better to know I'm not just a pussy to cum in

"Then kiss me and be with me", I tell him

He nods, his lips crashing into mine in a wild kiss

I get his pants opened and down, both of us moving fast to get naked

He turns me to my bed and gets me on it, breaking the kiss

His eyes rake down my body, biting his lip

Christ that's hot

I take the time to look at him and I was right

He has so many muscles on his beautiful body

His arms, his chest, his chiseled abs, his thighs

And he has tattoos on his chest and stomach

So fucking hot

My eyes move to his cock and holy shit that's the biggest and thickest dick I've ever seen

"You're fucking perfect", he says, blowing my mind, "Your tattoos are so hot"

His fingers gently touch my ribs, slipping against my skin, sending shivers down my spine

"You're perfect San", I say, gaping at his body

He just smiles, then leans over me, kissing me softly

This isn't how I imagined the night would go

I thought he'd fuck me hard then leave

I never expected him to kiss me like this

He breaks the kiss, asking, "Open your legs for me"

I do, spreading them wide open

His eyes move down to my pussy and immediately he says, "So fucking pretty. So wet"

Usually I'd be shy and close my legs but with the way San is looking at my cunt, like I'm something good to eat, keeps my legs open for him

He pulls my legs, moving me to the edge of the bed as he kneels down

Before I can say anything, pleasure slams into me as his tongue furiously licks every inch of my cunt

"Oh my god!", I cry, so much pleasure running over me

Jesus Christ, he just started and it feels fucking amazing

"Mmm you're cunt tastes so fucking good", he murmurs, his tongue running up and down

"Oh god!", I cry when his tongue rolls over my clit

He laughs sexily, continuing to lick my clit

"Mmm baby, your clit it throbbing so hard. Feels so good on my tongue"

"You tongue is so good San. Fuck best tongue ever", I yell, which is so unlike me

I'm normally quiet during sex

Soft moans and all but right now, he's making me so loud

"So pretty, begging me to suck on it"

"Yes", I moan

Got I want that so much

"You want me to suck on your clit baby?"

"Yes please. Please", I beg

I want it so badly I don't care about begging him

His mouth moves around my clit and he sucks once, throwing my body into intense pleasure

"San oh god!", I yell

I move my eyes down, seeing him between my legs, sucking hard on me

So fucking hot

His eyes move up to mine, keeping eye contact as he pleasures me

I'm so close, waiting eagerly for my orgasm

I haven't had sex in a few months and god I want to cum so bad

I feel it building, the feel of his sucking mouth so fucking blissful and his eyes on me making it even hotter

"Sss..San!", I cry, snapping, my orgasm hitting me hard as pleasure crashes into me in waves

He sucks faster, his name falling from my lips like a chant

It just keeps going and it's, so far, hands down the best orgasm I've ever

When it's over, I lay in my bed, stunned at how fucking good he is

His tongue moves down, licking by my slit, moaning deeply

"Fuck, your cum tastes so fucking good

Excuse me?

What the fuck did he just say?

His tongue keeps licking and I'm wondering why he's not stopping

"Uh...San?"

"Hmmm?"

"Uh....aren't...you uh...gonna stop?"

He lifts his head up, my cum and juice all over his mouth and chin

Fuck, why does that look sexy?

"Uh no"

"No?"

Any guy who's ever gone down on me stops after I orgasm

"No. I want you to cum again"

"Again?", I gape

His eyebrow raises, "You've never had more than one orgasm?"

I shake my head, "Uh no"

"Seriously? What about after foreplay, when you're fucking?"

I feel my face turn red as I answer, "I uh never came during sex"

Both eyebrows raise in surprise, "You haven't?"

I shake my head against

It's not like it didn't feel good, it did

It just wasn't enough

"Well I'm gonna fix that", he smirks

"You are?", I ask surprised

He nods, licking up my pussy once, making me shiver, "I like making the girls I'm with cum a lot"

Another lick

"Over and over"

Lick

"And you're going to. Ok?"

I nod as he licks me again, then his tongue shoves his tongue inside my pussy

"Oh god!", I yell, clenching on his tongue

His tongue moves fast, in and out, going in as far as he can, his tongue wiggling inside

I've never been tongue fucked before and it's so fucking good

I move my hand in his hair, pulling on it as my hips move into his face

He moans loudly, clutching my thighs hard, pleasure on his face like he's getting blown

He's so into it, his tongue so skilled that I feel another orgasm creeping up

I'm amazed that I'm able to get there so quickly

His tongue moves in and I snap, coming and throbbing around his tongue

"Mmmm", he moans, his eyes closing, swallowing over and over

And it hits me that he's eating my cum and he seems to like it

It blows my mind

I finish and he licks me a few times before pulling away

"So good baby. Fuck I could eat your cunt all night"

"Are you being serious?", I ask, so surprised

He tilts his head, his dimples appearing as he smiles, "So fucking serious. Your pussy is the best I've ever eaten"

I literally have no idea what to say or think

He moves on my bed, sitting on his knees, "Where do you want my cock right now? Your pussy or your mouth?"

Well he's straight forward

I look at his cock, cum leaking from his slit and I want to taste him

"Mouth", I answer

He nods and I move on my hands and knees in front of him, licking the cum from his slit

A really good taste hits me and I'm so surprised his cum tastes good

I've given blow jobs, tasted cum before but his is the best I've ever tasted

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Why am I noticing how good his cum tastes?

"More baby", he says

I lick along his long shaft and when I get to his head, I wrap my mouth around his head, sucking softly

"Yes baby girl. Fuck", he murmurs

I want to please him more, moving down his length as I suck desperately

He feels good in my mouth, like a big lollipop and he tastes amazing

His hand runs in my hair, wrapping it in a ponytail around his hand

"I'm gonna fuck your throat"

I look up at him, a little nervous

"Have you deepthroated before?"

I nod

I have but I choke and gag a lot

"If it hurts, just let me know and I'll stop ok?"

I nod, bracing myself

"Open your mouth"

I do, keeping my mouth wide open

He moves slowly in, his head poking into my throat

I choke, trying to relax around him

"It's ok baby. Just breathe"

I breathe through my nose, calming down enough for him to keep moving in

When he bottoms out, I choke again, with him talking me through it

"I'm gonna move ok?"

He pulls back about half way, then moves quickly back in, burying in my throat

He moves faster, tears springing in my eyes, so much spit falling from my mouth

"Yes good girl", he praises, "God this throat is amazing"

I highly doubt it since I'm kinda new at this but whatever

He sheathes his cock inside, holding me on him and I choke again

"Yes fuck. God I love hearing that fucking sound"

"Mmm", I moan, getting turned on

He starts moving again, fucking my face and I actually am enjoying it

I choke a few more times and that seems to really get him going

"You like choking on my cock baby?"

I nod, realizing I do like it

"Fuck I love hearing your choke. I'm gonna fuck this throat numb, just like I'm gonna fuck your pussy"

Yes please

Fuck, I need to get fucked good

He thrusts over and over, his cock deep in my throat

"I'm gonna cum", he says, pleasure all over his gorgeous face, "Swallow all of it. Got it?"

I nod, eagerly waiting for his cum

Going all in, he holds me on him, his cum spurting down my throat

I swallow around his cock, making him moan loudly

"Yes Joanne, fuck yes. Swallow baby girl"

I do, over and over because he cums so fucking much

The taste is so good, I eagerly swallow it all

He keeps his cock in my mouth telling me to keep sucking to get him hard again

I do it without any complaints, sucking like my life depends on it, feeling his cock hardening

After a few minutes, he pulls me off him, looking down at me with lust in his eyes

"Ready to cum over and over?", he asks

I nod, so ready

"I'm thinking four orgasms? Maybe more?"

Four?

For me?

Can I even cum that much?

"Don't worry baby. I'll make you cum that much. I'm good at sex"

I mean yeah I think he is because he's amazing at oral

"Are you?", I smirk

He nods, smirking back, "I am. Guess that's another bad habit. I'm addicted to sex"

"Thought you said you didn't fuck around", I tease

"I don't. But when I have a girl, I fuck her everyday and I make sure I give it to her good. Because yeah I like sex but I'm addicted to making my girl cum", he explains, "And right now you're my girl and your gonna cum so much"

With that he flips me over on my hands and knees, spreading my legs open

His head slips inside my cunt, pushing his cock into me, spreading me wide open around him

I moan at the stretch, feeling so good

"Oh my god! So fucking tight", he moans, "God tightest cunt I've ever been in. Fuck. It's like you've never been fucked"

I have but I haven't taken a cock this big before, which I tell him

He bottoms out, his head right against my spot making me shiver

It's such a tight, snug fit, with no extra room and I love how full I feel

I feel him pull out, then move back in fast, slamming my spot and a huge wave of pleasure crashes over me

He moves slowly at first, picking up the pace at each thrust until he's going fast

And hard

I'm so wet and I take his cock over and over, wanting so much more

I moan loudly, my hand twisting in my sheets from the pleasure

"Fuck, you're cunt is so pretty, taking my cock over and over", he says, "Those fucking swollen lips look so good wrapped around my cock, that little slit opening for me like a pretty flower, creaming my cock so fucking much"

Moaning, I manage to get out, "Your cock is so good San. Fuck. So big"

"Yeah baby? My cock feels good in this tight pussy?"

I nod, "Yes!"

"Mmm I think baby wants to cum"

"Yes San! Fuck yes"

His hand reaches around me, fingers pressing into my clit, moving in circles

The added pleasure runs up my spine and I clench his cock harder

"Yes baby. Fuck throbbing so fucking hard. So good baby girl. Don't stop"

I can't even if I tried, my pussy locking onto his cock

His movements are so good and I'm thrown head first into an intense orgasm, bliss running through me

"San!", I yell as I cum and surprisingly I head him yelling in pleasure

"Oh my god fuck! Christ, feels so fucking good!"

My brain slowly processes that he's getting pleasure, apparently a lot of it, from my orgasm

As soon as I finish, he pulls out, switching our positions, getting me on top of him, sliding me down his length easily, "That's one"

I whimper from feeling him back inside, squeezing his shaft

"Ride me", he moans

I nod, starting to bounce on him hard and fast

I'm not wasting any time

His cock feels so fucking good, feels too good sliding in and out

"Yes baby fuck. So pretty on my cock"

I move faster, my legs burning but I'm not stopping

No way

San's hands move to my pussy, spreading my lips open, eyes glued to where we meet

"God so fucking pretty. Little slit straining so hard. Taking me so good. Making a huge mess"

His words are sending shivers down my spine, adding to the bliss

"Fuck wanna see this slit cream my cock in cum. Can you do that for me?", he asks

"Yes San", I moan

I so can

I keep riding his dick, keeping him inside me, rocking and grinding my spot on his head, with a few bounces mixed in

"Fuck baby, you know how to ride dick huh?"

Not really

But his is too good to pass up

"I don't...so much"

He smirks, "So it's just my cock that has you this horny? My cock that makes you into the best cowgirl?"

I nod, "Yes Sannie. Just your cock"

"Mmm I like that"

Yeah, me too

"Oh I just felt your cunt pulse faster. Getting close?"

I nod, almost there, grinding faster

I just need something to tip me over

San grips my hips then slams his cock right up into my pussy and I lose it

"San!", I scream, orgasming all over his huge cock

I can't control my body shaking and I feel myself slipping to the side

San's arms wrap around me as he sits up, moaning in my ear, "Yes baby. Good girl. Cum all over my cock. Fuck yes. Feels so good"

His hand slips between us, his fingers playing with my clit as he kisses my cheek

"Again baby. Don't stop. Your orgasms feel too good. I want more"

He holds me down on his dick, my chest against his as I moan, his fingers rubbing furiously

I feel his cock throb inside me and god it feels amazing

"Move your hips baby. Rock on my cock"

I do, the pleasure of his head rubbing my spot and his fingers pushing me closer

How can I want to cum again?

I should be tired but I'm not

"Please cum for me", he whispers and I can't hold it

"San!", I whimper, another orgasm taking over and feeling incredible

"Yes baby fuck. There we go. Ride it out on my dick. Good girl", he praises

I do, pulsing around him so much, loving the feeling of him buried deep inside me

I could sit on his cock all night

He holds me to him, turning us over, my back on the bed, his cock still buried inside

His arms hook under my knees, pushing my legs to my chest, his mouth crashing into mine as he pulls out

The second his tongue is in my mouth, his cock barrels back in, slamming into my spot

I moan in his mouth, my hands gripping his upper arms hard

He moves at an extremely fast pace, getting my spot every time, stars blasting in my vision

I break the kiss, moaning his name, his mouth on my neck, kissing everywhere

I slide one hand in the back of his hair, holding on tightly, taking the incredibly pleasurable pounding he's giving me

His cock is the best, hands down

In and out, in and out, the angle letting hit so much deeper, his pelvis rubbing my clit with every move

This is what ecstasy feels like

Of that I have no doubt

Other guys haven't made me feel a fraction of what San is making me feel

San had achieved what no guy every has

He's made me cum during sex

And not once but three times and is working on a fourth

The boy has stamina

I'm so gonna hate going back to the normal sex I was having before San

"So close", he murmurs, fucking me so hard into the bed, "Cream my cock baby. I want it all over me"

He thrusts a few more times and I'm done, screaming his name again

"San!"

I shake under him while he groans as I orgasm on his cock

"Yes yes yes", he moans, dropping my legs

I keep them wide open for him, his hips moving faster, burying his cock inside me as I cum

"More. One more", he moans, "Please cum for me one more time"

He's so lucky he's good at sex because I'm right there already

He hits my spot and I'm blinded by pure ecstasy as pleasure bleeds into my next orgasm

"San! San! San!"

"I'm gonna cum. Where?", he shouts

"Where do you want to?", I ask, breathlessly

"Inside. I wanna cum in your pussy"

"Yes San. Cum inside me"

He sheathes his cock deep inside, hips stilling as I feel him throb, hot cum filling me right up, screaming my name, "Joanne! Fuck!"

I lay there, milking his cock, my mind blissfully blank

When he finishes, he pulls out, collapsing next to me, breathing hard

"That is the best sex I've ever had", he says

I snap my head towards him, "You're shitting me"

He opens his eyes glancing over, "No I'm not"

I'm stunned into silence as I process his words

I know he's the best I ever had

That is without a doubt

But me?

The best he's ever had?

No way

"You are Joanne. I don't lie remember?"

I nod, remembering that he really has no reason to lie to me

And I have no reason to lie to him

"It's the best I ever had too", I confess

"Yeah?", he asks, smiling

I nod

"Not too bad for a smoker huh?"

"Oh shush", I smile

We're quiet for a few minutes, in comfortable silence when he says, "So can I take you on a date tomorrow?"

Again, I look at him wide eyed, "Really?"

He nods, "Yeah really. I don't know what you were thinking when I approached you but honestly it wasn't to have sex"

I blink in surprise

It wasn't?

"I was actually gonna ask you out"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Then you started talking about sex and I wasn't opposed to it and we came here and had mind blowing sex and I still want to ask you out", he explains, "So will you?"

"Go out with you?", I ask

He nods, actually looking nervous

"Yeah San", I answer, "I'd like to go out with you"

He actually breathes a sigh of relief and it's so cute

"But I'm not sleeping with you. I have a strict no sex after the first date policy", I tease

He bursts out laughing, "Oh yeah? Me too actually"

"You do?"

I know girls can have one but I didn't know guys did too

"Of course. I'm not some piece of meat you know"

I giggle at how funny he is

"Well", I say, after the giggling subsides, "I think in your case, I can make an exception"

He puts his hand on his chest, batting his eyes, "For me?"

"Yes for you", I giggle again

He pretends to think for a second, "I can make an exception for you too"

"Aww you're so sweet", I coo, moving closer to him

He moves his arm around me, cuddling into my body, intertwining us together

"I am"

"I know", I answer, somehow knowing that he is

We smile at each other then I move closer, kissing his soft lips

I'm so excited for our date tomorrow and I hope it works out with San

I can definitely see myself with him

He kisses me back and I fall into him again

🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈

1 year later

San POV

Sitting on my balcony, in one of the chairs, I suck in a puff of the cigarette, letting the smoke go inside my body

I exhale slowly, blowing the smoke out before taking a other puff

"Sannie?", she calls softly, opening the door and coming out to the balcony

I feel her arms around my neck from behind me, her lips pressing a kiss to my cheek

"Baby why are you up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep, naekkeo", I answer

I want to talk to her about something and I'm so nervous

I couldn't sleep and I figured I'd smoke to claim my nerves

She runs her fingers in my hair, my eyes closing against her touch

I love anytime she touches me

Anywhere

My hair, my face, my arms, my body

I crave her touch all the time and any time I can get it, it's bliss

We've been together for a little over a year after that night

I took her out the next day and we had so much fun

And yeah we did break our no sex on the first date rule

After that, everything just fell into place

I fell hard for her and I told her that I love her pretty early in our relationship

About three months in

I didn't know if she loved me and honestly it didn't matter as long as she was with me and wanted me

I was so surprised when she smiled and told me she loves me too

She accepts me for the way I am

I know she was worried about me smoking in the beginning but she accepted it

I tried quitting a few times but I always failed and always got upset with myself when I did

She talked to me about it and told me not to worry, to quit when I'm ready or not at all if I chose that

She told me she's not going anywhere and that's not a deal breaker for her anymore

She said she loves me too much to be without me

I was so surprised and happy at that

I am mindful about smoking around her

I go outside to smoke as much as I can because I know she hates the smell of it

In her dorm room, I opened the window and smoked from there

Here I go on my balcony

And I try as much as I can to not smell like it

Just because she accepts my smoking doesn't mean I could be a jerk about it

She's my baby, my everything, I'm going to do everything I can for her

"What's wrong baby?", she asks, moving in front of me as I inhale on the cigarette

Turning my head I blow the smoke away from her, then tug her hand, getting her to sit on my lap

She moved in a few months ago and I feel like my life is complete except for one thing

"Nothing's wrong naekkeo. I'm just nervous about something"

"What baby?", she asks confused

I lean to the small table next to me, putting my cigarette out in the ashtray, then wrapping both my arms around her

"It's something I have to talk to you about and I'm nervous about how you're going to take it"

"Fuck", she whispers, looking at me with fear in her eyes

"Don't be afraid naekkeo", I tell her, "It's nothing bad"

"Sannie just tell me. You're making me worried"

I nod once then ask her to stand up with me

We do and I reach in my pajama pocket as I look her in the eyes

I kneel down slowly, on one knee, presenting her with an open box, a ring inside

Her eyes widen, her hand flying to her mouth

"I love you Jo. So much. You're my everything, my perfect match and I can't see myself without you. I love you more than the stars in the sky naekkeo. I know we're young but I also know you're my one, the one I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life. You mean absolutely everything to me", I tell her

She is my everything and I want to be with her forever

Hopefully she feels the same way

"Will you marry me Jo?"

"Yes Sannie!", she yells immediately

I stand up, pulling her into a hug, her lips on mine instantly

I fall into her kiss, so elated that she actually said yes

She breaks the kiss, smiling, kissing me all over my face

"Yes Sannie. A thousand times yes. I love you so much baby. You're my everything. My one. I want to be with you always"

"You will naekkeo. And I'm going to be with you always"

She nods, "Yeah baby"

Taking her hand, I slide the ring on her finger, her beautiful face looking at the ring in shock

"It's beautiful Sannie"

"I saw it and knew it was perfect for you", I tell her

It just fits her perfectly

Simple, delicate, not in your face or gaudy looking

"It is Sannie", she agrees, looking at me, "You're perfect for me"

I smile, "You're perfect for me too naekkeo"

She kisses me again and I'm so happy I can spend the rest of my life with her

My perfect match

#san fic #san fanfic #san fanfiction #san smut #choi san fanfiction #choi san fanfic #choi san smut #choi san fic #ateez san fanfic #ateez san smut #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez fanfiction #ateez smut #requested

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bunnypig18 · 2 years

Text

Make it up to You

Stray Kids/Ateez fic for @skzseasons Hot Dom Summer Event! Prompt: Dom!Skz (AO3 Link) Relationship: Bang Chan/Choi San Tags: NSFW, Dom!Chan, Sub!San, Choking, Mild Verbal Humiliation, Daddy Kink, Hand Jobs, Teasing, Begging Word Count: 2.4k Summary: Chan feels bad for ruining San's cardigan. San knows how Chan can make it up to him. A/N: My Stray Kids/Ateez agenda prevails!!! And of course it's with Chan again, cause Chan is just really shippable with literally anyone and everyone. I have thought a lot about Kingdom recently, so this is after the sports event where Chan stretched San's cardigan by hanging onto it for dear life lmao Honestly, I'm not very happy with how it turned out. It really is just them being horny af, but yeet yeet, I'm still happy I wrote it Pls enjoy!! Comments and Reblogs are as aways appreciated~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I really am sorry about the cardigan," Chan said, frown growing deeper.

San huffed in amusement and waved his hand.

"Don't worry about it! You can make it up to me!"

"Right. I can buy you a new one?"

Humming thoughtfully, San swayed from side to side, hands crossed on his back. With his advantage in height and broad shoulders, San simply was bigger most of the time. It was these rare moments like now when he acted all giddy and shy that he felt smaller compared to Chan. He liked that feeling. If Chan had any idea what he was doing, was another question, always so polite and nice.

But San had noticed the glances. He knew about Chan watching his fancams from Changbin. San wished Chan knew what he was doing to the younger and did it on purpose.

"I don't need a new one."

"No? I can…buy you something else?"

San sighed and leaned back against the wall. Chan stepped closer, curiosity peeking behind the guilt that filled his pretty eyes. So bright and yet sharp, an innocent predator.

San smiled.

"I know a lot of fun ways to make it up to me."

"Maybe I can…buy you food?"

San huffed, pursing his lips into pout. Usually his sultry voice was enough to get the other party to understand his intentions, but either San had been wrong or Chan was just dense. Or maybe something else - too sweet to ever consider that his junior could ask something like this from him. It had to be. No way San had been wrong about all the glances and comments.

He had to know.

"Hyung-"

San grabbed the front of Chan's black t-shirt and pulled him even closer, close enough that San could see the way Chan's pupils dilated. His pout curled into a smirk and he tilted his head, blinking - hopefully - in a cute way.

"-think about it. What fun things could two men do in their free time together?"

"I…I don't…"

"You know, hyung."

Chan visibly swallowed. For just a moment, his eyes darted downward. San stuck out the tip of his tongue, licking over his bottom lip, and Chan's eyes widened a little more.

"I- San, I don't-" Chan swallowed again and glanced back up.

"Was I wrong, hyung?"

"About what?"

Heat creeped into San's cheeks and his grip loosened on Chan's shirt, but he still clung to that little bit of hope. So he ignored the blooming shame of possibly being wrong and pouted again.

"Hyung!" he whined, "Don't make me say it!"

"San, I really don't know what you mean."

And Chan looked so damn sincere about it all. San groaned and stomped his foot once, arms wiggling, jolting the older man a little in the process.

"Hyung, please!"

"You can tell me," Chan said, voice growing lower as he leaned in, until it was only a whisper, "I won't judge, baby."

A shudder chased down San's spine. He couldn't help the whimper slipping his lips. The corners of Chan's mouth quirked up for a second.

He knew. He fucking knew and he was playing with San. It was literally everything San could have asked for.

"Need-"

San shifted against the wall and a sudden hand slammed right next to his head, stilling him instantly.

"Come on, baby," Chan drew even closer, their breaths mingling hot between them, "tell daddy what you need."

San outright moaned at that. His cock twitched and he squeezed his thighs together. Chan smirked, chuckling lowly, the sound crawling under San's skin. He gripped the man's shirt tighter and thin fingers curled around his wrist. Chan moved closer and closer, crowding San against the wall until he was caught between it and a firm chest.

San took a shaky breath, eyelids fluttering.

"Daddy, please…" he whispered, his mind already reeling with arousal.

Chan's cock pressed right against his and even through the layers of tight pants, San could tell the older man was just as affected. And he was also big. San couldn't help but roll his hips, squeezing his eyes shut as it chased heat through his whole body. He dropped his head back, legs shaky, and he clumsily repeated the motion.

An embarrassing squeak slipped his tongue as a firm hand snapped shut around his jaw. He blinked against the blur of pleasure and met Chan's eyes, both an abyss of something primal. San shuddered and his cock throbbed.

"You need to tell me, baby, or daddy can't help you."

"I need you, daddy! Need your dick!"

Chan cocked his head and blew gently over San's lips in a mockery of a kiss. An evil smirk curled his lips as San whimpered.

"Say please~"

"Daddy!"

Chan shook his head and leaned back a little. San immediately tried to chase after him, but the hand around his jaw slipped deeper, curling its bony fingers around his throat. With just enough pressure that San gasped, but could still breath fine, the hand effectively pinned him to the wall.

"Come on, baby, I know you can say it."

San pouted again, lips opening to protest, but the words died on his tongue as the fingers squeezed. His mouth fell open around a soft moan and Chan huffed in amusement.

"I could probably get you to come just like that, couldn't I?"

Chan drew closer again, brushing past San's face and pressing his lips against his ear instead.

"I just keep calling you baby and choke you a little and you cream your pants like a teenage boy touching a boob for the first time."

San whimpered and shifted, cock painfully straining against the zipper, but Chan had moved his hips away, leaving San to hump the air. He squeezed his eyes shut and wrapped a hand around Chan's wrist near his throat, the grip loose, and San wasn't sure if he was begging Chan to stop or continue. All he knew was that he was enjoying this.

"Baby-"

San cracked an eye open at the softness lacing Chan's voice. It also sparked in his expression, mixing with a hint of concern and hunger.

"Can you tell daddy what you want?"

Nodding a little against the restraints, San licked his lips, blinking until he could properly look at Chan.

"I want you, daddy. Please…"

"What do you want exactly?"

"Everything, please…Everything you want to give me…"

Chan smiled almost sweetly, only the dark depths of his eyes breaking the picture. His hand slipped away from the wall and instead, found their place hooked into the waistband of San's pants. The other hand remained at his throat, occasionally squeezing just the slightest bit, a reminder, a promise, a threat, San couldn't quite decide.

"Do you want daddy to kiss you first?"

"Yes yes yes! Please-"

San gasped as soft lips found his. His eyes fluttered shut and Chan leaned in closer, deepening the touch. Pliant and eager, San opened his mouth and a curious tongue slipped inside. There was no hesitation as it licked into every nook and cranny it could reach, like it was trying to map out the inside of San's mouth.

San moaned sweetly and dug his fingers into Chan's biceps. A low groan slipped the older man's lips. San gripped tighter, nails digging harder, and he swallowed another noise from Chan. Eager for more, San clawed higher, like trying to rip through the shirt, until his nails scratched along Chan's shoulder blades. They pressed close again and their clothed cocks rubbed together, eliciting another moan from San.

Both gasped as they pulled apart, chests heaving. San's heart threatened to beat right out his torso, legs outright shaking and he was sure that only the hand around his throat kept him from falling. His lips tingled, like burned from hot coffee, tasting of the sour candy Chan had eaten right before.

Fingers tugged at San's pants, pulling his attention back to the moment.

"Want daddy to touch you now?" Chan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Can you fuck me? Please?"

"So impatient, baby…"

"Please! I need-"

San gasped, eyes growing wide. The fingers around his throat tightened again and San bucked his hips, but was slammed back against the wall by Chan's other hand.

"You need what daddy gives you," Chan whispered right against San's lips.

Another whine slipped, choked out between meek attempts of taking a breath. The fingers loosened and he gasped, coughing and heaving, shaking all over. Tears stung in the corners of his eyes and a brief spark of concern crossed Chan's expression. San was quick to kill it by moaning, hips shifting against the hand holding them down.

"You're so cute, baby. So eager."

Chan leaned back a little and let his eyes wander up and down San's body. The heat in San's face grew into a burn, on the edge of uncomfortable. He blinked and tears dripped down his cheeks, too hot against his skin. A hint of salt filled his mouth as he inhaled shakily.

Chan hooked his fingers back into the waistband of San's pants, tugging and brushing skin with hard knuckles and sharp nails. Every little touch had San twitching, whimpers and incoherent whines falling from his red bitten lips.

"You want daddy to touch you now?"

San nodded eagerly.

"Use your words, baby."

"Want- want daddy to touch me…"

"Good boy."

San's cock twitched and another thick drop if pre-come soaked the front of his underwear. Any other time, he might have been embarrassed, but all he could think about were the fingers dipping between underwear and skin, ghosting past where he needed it the most. They slipped out and San sighed disappointingly, earning him another quick squeeze around his throat.

The pants button popped open and San was sure his heart was going to follow, the anticipation straining the seams. Slowly, Chan pulled down the zipper, humming thoughtfully.

"Sannie, baby-"

San blinked through the tears and met Chan's eyes.

"-hold your shirt up for me."

"W-what?"

"Just a little, so I can better see."

Swallowing against the shame, San grabbed the edge of his shirt. How many times have Atiny's seen his stomach? And why were his hands still shaking as he lifted the thin cotton? Chan's eyes widened just enough that San noticed and he had to look away or else he would have been consumed by the raw hunger shining in the older man's blown pupils. Fingertips dipped between his muscles, following the lines with the slightest bit of pressure. San tried to hold back his breathing, the movements of his stomach, but it only made it worse.

Chan huffed and soft lips pressed against San's skin, right under his ear. He shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut. As the fingers wandered lower, so did Chan's mouth, exploring the curve of his jaw and along his neck where his other hand tightened its grip. San gasped. Chan swallowed the sound as he kissed San again, tongue licking inside without hesitation.

As their kiss deepened, Chan dropped both his hands to grab San's pants and underwear. Tugging them lower, San's cock sprung free, hard and heavy and drooling excessively.

One hand slipped back up to San's throat. The other curled its thin fingers around the base of his cock and stroked upward, chasing a shudder up San's spine. It ended in another high pitched moan, muffled by Chan's lips and tongue assaulting every inch of San's mouth. He could barely breathe through it all, only getting glimpses of air when Chan bit his bottom lip and pulled at it. More and more tears spilled down his cheeks, his vision a blur, mind a haze.

Chan gathered his pre-come with his fingers, smearing it all along San's shaft. It wasn't as good as lube, but it offered a smooth slide nonetheless as Chan's firm hand stroked up and down the cock. San moaned, rolling his hips, practically fucking Chan's fist. Desperate through the feeling of floating, San clawed at Chan's biceps, nails digging deep, and he hoped against all better judgment that he was leaving marks.

The kiss broke apart and they both gasped. San's moans spilled freely, growing louder and longer with every stroke of Chan's hand. He kept closing his eyes just so open them again, each time shuddering under the dangerous attention from Chan.

"Daddy…daddy…" San whimpered, one hand founding its place around Chan's wrist.

It was enough to make Chan understand what he wanted and his fingers tightened. San's mouth fell open, a thin string of drool dripping from the corner. The grip on his throat slowly cut off any ability to breathe and his moans melted into desperate squeaks and choked gasps.

San's hips stuttered, eyes rolling back. Chan increased his efforts as San's thrusts turned sloppy, stroking him faster, grip smooth and overwhelmingly hot. Soft lips scattered kisses along San's jaw and throat. Here and there, sharp teeth brushed skin, each time chasing shivers down his spine. The heat in his guts outright burned him, growing and filling every bit of his inside until it overflowed.

With one last clumsy thrust, San stilled. Immediately, the hand loosened around his throat and he moaned shamelessly loud as his come spilled all over Chan's fingers. They kept stroking him through it all, milking him of every drop into overstimulation.

San whimpered and slipped down the wall a little, shaking from head to toe. The last bit of orgasm haze numbed every nerve and he didn't realize Chan was moving until he was pulled into a tight hug, strong arms securely wrapped around his waist. San released a shaky breath and buried his face in Chan's neck, breathing in deeply the natural musk that had him almost ready for another round.

"Sannie," Chan whispered with the sweetest voice, "are you okay?"

San meekly nodded, fingers twisting in Chan's shirt for any kind of support. He was gently moved to the floor, where he stretched out his legs and leaned back against the wall, but he didn't quite let go of Chan. A smile decorated Chan's face as their eyes met and San couldn't help but return it.

"Are you really okay?"

"Yep. Better than I could ever be, hyung."

Chan chuckled and shuffled over the floor, taking a seat beside San. He wrapped an arm around San's shoulders and tugged him even closer.

"You don't think it can get any better?"

San perked up at that, invisible dog ears twitching. Chan leaned in closer until his hot breath ghosted along San's lips.

"It can always get better…"

"And you know how, don't you, baby?" Chan whispered, smile curling into a smirk.

"Oh I know, hyung~"

#stray kids #ateez #fanfiction #bang chan #choi san #san #!s week #stray kids fanfiction #ateez fanfiction #bang chan fanfiction #choi san fanfiction #smut #stray kids smut #ateez smut #bang chan smut #choi san smut #bang chan x choi san #chan x san

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cheollipop · 1 year

Text

take a break

navi | taglist

pairing: choi san x fem!reader

w.c.: 2.6k

tags: smut, fluff

after days of isolating himself in his room to study, you offered to help san relax. you forgot one thing, however -- that choi san has always been better at giving love than receiving it.

warnings: soft dom!san, praise, oral sex (m & f receiving), fingering, masturbation, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (boooo 👎), creampie, impregnation/breeding kink, overstimulation, slight cockwarming, nicknames (sannie; baby, angel, darling, love, treasure)

A/N: this fic came out of nowhere ngl, I was planning another one and then BAM- over 2k words of filth -- some of the dialogue in this made me short-circuit. I hope you enjoy! ^^ <3

nsfw under the cut - minors dni!!

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You peeked through the open door into San's room, your gaze fixing on his slumped shoulders as he typed away at his laptop. The final week of the semester was always the hardest on him, his assignments piling up just before exam season. He'd often isolate himself in his room for days, and you'd have to spoon-feed him his meals when he refused to look away from his laptop. He was mumbling to himself while his fingers tirelessly punched at the keyboard, deleting words and sentences and replacing them with ones he found more appropriate.

You smiled to yourself, pushing yourself off the doorframe and walking towards him. His body jolted when you placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Shit, babe, you scared me," his hand flew to his chest, his heart beating rapidly under his palm.

Your smile widened. How cute, you thought. "Sorry," you kissed the tip of his nose. Taking in the redness of his eyes, probably dry and painful whenever he blinked, you pulled the eyedropper from behind your back. "Lean back," you muttered the instruction.

"There's no need-"

You raised an eyebrow at him, and he stopped his sentence, leaning his head back against the headrest. Your smile returned for a second before fading to make way for your tongue to peek out in concentration. Your fingers were gentle against his eyelids, holding them open while dropping the liquid into each eye. You pulled away and screwed the lid shut while San blinked rapidly.

"Thank you," he grabbed your hand, swinging it back and forth twice before bringing it to his lips and placing a tender kiss over your knuckles.

Your heart felt warm at the gesture. You ran your free hand through his hair, smoothing down the disheveled locks.

"Why don't you take a break?" You suggested, looking down at him with big eyes – you hoped they would convince him.

"Ah, baby, I really shouldn't," he sighed, looking back at his screen. "It's due in two days and I have so much left to do; I haven't even finished it, let alone proofread whatever I managed to write already-"

You watched as he began to spiral, the stress staining his expression, so you pinched his chin between two fingers and moved his head away from the screen to face you again.

You leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Smiling, you lowered your voice so only he could hear you – despite there not being anyone else present. "I've missed you, Sannie. Won't you let me help you relax? I promise it'll feel good."

You saw, in real time, as the hesitation in his eyes disappeared, replaced by excitement when he took in the meaning behind your words.

"Okay."

“Fuck,” he threw his head back when you licked a stripe up the underside of his cock – standing hard and throbbing against his lower belly.

You looked up to meet his eyes, fluttering your eyelashes at him as you glided your tongue over the throbbing vein stretching over his length – he almost came right then and there. You were taking him so well, licking at his tip teasingly, his shirt hanging off your shoulders and adding to the visual. He wondered if it would still smell like you even after you washed it.

His thoughts were interrupted when you finally took him into your mouth whole, relaxing your jaw until he hit the back of your throat. San’s hand flew to your nape, tangling in the hair there and pulling harshly, but not enough to pull you off – the pain egging you on.

“Holy fuck, (Y/n), my love. Your mouth- god,” he let out a throaty moan when you swallowed around him.

Your hand reached down to cup his balls, fondling them while you drew him out of your mouth until the tip was leaning against your lips. The corners of your mouth curled, smiling at San’s flushed cheeks, his eyes heavy and lidded as he stared right back at you from where he was leaning against the headboard. San’s hand reached forward to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing back and forth against your cheekbone, touch so delicate you almost forgot you'd had his cock down your throat less than a minute ago.

"My beautiful baby," he breathed, his eyes soft as he took in your features.

San bit down on his bottom lip when you took his cockhead into your mouth again, giving it a firm suck and smiling when he groaned. You flattened your tongue against the underside of his cock and slowly took his length down your throat, nuzzling your nose into the soft skin at the base. You sectioned your cheeks, your eyes tearing up as you tried not to gag around him, his cock twitching uncontrollablely in your mouth.

"Fuck, (Y/n) wait, wait-" San's hands cupped your jaw, pulling you off him, a string of spit connecting you to his cockhead. His cheeks were flushed, chest rising and falling rapidly as he gazed at you with hooded eyes, glazed over with lust. "I almost came, shit, sorry. Give me a second."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "That's the point, no?" You breathed out a laugh.

His mouth curled into a mischievous smirk. "Not yet."

With deft fingers, San flipped your positions, stripping you of your sweats and panties and throwing them off the bed before sitting back on his heels to take you in – dressed in nothing but his shirt. With his hands cupping your knees, he spread your legs in front of him, nearly growling at the glistening arousal dripping from your pussy – the tight ring clenching and unclenching around nothing.

"What a-are you doing?"

"It's your turn now," his eyes were fixed on your middle, clicking his tongue when your legs closed around it. San parted them again, met with a little resistance, his hands sliding down your inner thighs teasingly.

You sat up the best you can, pouting as heat creeped up your face when your eyes flitted down to San's cock – painfully hard, the tip red and angry where it stood against his lower belly. "But I'm supposed to be making you feel good."

San smiled, dimples dipping into his cheeks while he looked at you fondly. "Oh baby, when do you ever not make me feel good?"

You weren't convinced, closing your legs again and trapping his hands between them. San narrowed his eyes at you, forcing your legs apart yet again and placing himself between them.

"Saaaan," you whined, your knees bumping against his shoulders.

“I thought you said you missed me.” Leaning over your lower half, he kissed down your thighs, leaving a trail of bruises, some darker than others. "Just let me have a taste," he muttered against your skin, his words interrupted by kisses.

"San, stop being a stubborn shit!"

"Have I told you how hot you are when you're angry?" San giggled when you huffed, falling back against the bed with a plop once you realized that he wasn't going to give up. His lips strayed down to place kisses around your mound, not quite close enough to where you need him. "So, what do you say, hm? Can I?" He pressed his lips to your clit, flicking it once with his tongue. Your breath hitched, heat soaring through every nerve in your body.

As per usual, he had won this battle, and he would probably win the next one with only a single sweet smile.

You reached down to cup the back of his head and pushed his face between your legs, his tongue not wasting a second to lap at your folds, swallowing your nectar with a low moan. With his thumbs digging into the skin at either side of your cunt, San spread you out and circled his tongue around your entrance, dipping his tongue in teasingly before moving back up to suck your clit into his mouth. His fingers found your hole before you could complain, stuffing you with two of his digits and curling them to press against your walls until your back jumped off the mattress.

“San- Ngghhh, right there, fuck,” you fisted your hands in San’s hair, pushing his face further into you.

He tongued at your clit with vigor, his eyes closed while he nuzzled his nose into your pubic bone. The sweet noises you were making only incited San to go harder, punching at your g-spot with every thrust. His other hand had long since strayed down to pump his cock, moaning against your clit when he squeezed at his tip, smearing precum down the rest of his length. His hand moved sloppily over his cock, his high only a breath away with the way you were clenching down on his fingers.

“Oh, fuck, San- I’m-”

The vibration of San’s moans as he came into his fist sent you over the edge. Your thighs shook around his shoulders, fingers tugging painfully at his hair while you rolled your hips over his flattened tongue and reveled in the slow pump of his digits inside you as you rode out your high. San slipped his fingers out when your knees pressed against his shoulders in an attempt to close, your hips moving away from his mouth as you began to feel overstimulated. With a final kiss to your clit, San pulled away.

You took in each other’s appearance – you, your cheeks a bright red, panting heavily while your thighs twitched and quivered as you recovered from your orgasm; and him, your arousal dripping from his chin, his eyes hooded and glazed over with lust, his thighs painted with his own cum while his cock twitched where it hung between his legs. You reached a hand out to him and San didn't waste time climbing over you and slotting your lips together, making you taste yourself on his lips. San’s tongue ran over your teeth, then found your own before he sucked it into his mouth. His hips rolled against you, his cock already half-hard where it slid through your dripping folds; your body jolted when it brushed against your sensitive clit.

“See what you’ve done to me? ‘Cumming all over myself before I even got the chance to fuck you properly.” He covered your parted lips with his own, muffling the broken moans he pried out of you with every insistent grind of his hips. “How will you take responsibility? Hm?”

You gripped his shoulder, digging your nails into the skin when shocks of overstimulation brought tears to your eyes, shivers running through your body. “San, S-san, wait- please, give me a second-”

“Mmm, I- ahh, I don’t think you can wait any longer, my darling.” San kissed over your jawline, running his tongue over the shell of your ear. His cock was now fully hard, heavy against your cunt as he continued his unrelenting pace. “I think you still miss me very much.”

Your legs shook where they were propped up over San’s shoulders, his cock pounding into you frantically while he bit down on your nipple, nuzzling his nose into the soft flesh around it – bending your body in half so you could take him properly. You were already out of breath, San’s cock pushing so deep inside you and pressing against your g-spot with every forceful thrust. He kissed his way up to your jaw before peppering kisses all over your cheeks and nose, breathing out airy moans in between.

“My love, my sweet girl, you’re taking me so well,” he kissed over your parted lips, taking in the pretty melodies you were expelling. “Such a perfect pussy, hahh- so fucking tight.”

San gripped your thighs, pressing a kiss to your knee beforee bringing them down from his shoulders and wrapping them around his hips to allow his cock even deeper into your heat. You reached for him, and he instantly leaned down so you could wrap your arms around his shoulders, pressing your chest to his while his hips continued thrusting into you, slowing to a heavy grind before drawing his length out to the tip and slamming back in.

“San, Sannie, feels so gooood- hnnngh,” your eyes rolled to the back of your head when San’s hand slipped between your bodies to toy at your clit, flicking it at the same pace as his thrusts.

"Louder. Let everyone hear your pretty voice, angel,” he pressed wet kisses over your flushed cheeks. “Show them all just how much you missed me."

His fingers on your clit circled around to grab a fistful of your ass, guiding your hips to meet his thrusts and watching your skin ripple at the impact. “Good god, I’m going to fill you up, stuff you so full and have you carry my children. Would you like that, treasure?”

“Yeah, yes, please. Give it to me, Sannie. Ngghhh- Make me pregnant, make me a mommy, p-please!”

Broken cries slipped out of your mouth as San hammered his cock into you, feeling it twitch and throb between your walls while he came. He fucked his cum into you while two of his fingers worked your clit, his thrusts desperate as he tried to bring you over the edge with him. He buried his face into your neck, groaning and grunting as he overstimulated himself, fucking into you with urgency.

“Fuuuck, baby, please- please, shit, cum for me,” he pressed his hips into yours, shoving his cock as deep as it could go and pressing the tip against your sweet spot, his cum seeping out of your abused cunt.

San chanted praise into your skin, emitting a hearty groan as your pussy clenched around him when your orgasm finally washed over you: your vision blurred, toes curling as pleasure flooded your body and sent your nerves into overdrive. San remained still, leaving you to ride out your high at your own pace despite being overstimulated himself. He sprinkled soft kisses all over your face – from your chin, to your cheeks, delicately over your closed eyelids, then up to your forehead before moving back down to press gentle pecks to your lips. When you slumped down against the mattress, a sheen of sweat illuminating your skin, San pulled back to look at you. A fond smile adorned his lips and the dimples you loved so much decorated his cheeks, his eyes soft as they took in your content expression.

“Hi,” he spoke, voice so soft you felt a wave of warmth surging in your chest.

“Hey,” you giggled, bringing him in for another kiss – the slow movement of lips, I love you’s whispered against each other’s skin like a prayer.

“(Y/n), baby,” he muttered while his mouth strayed down to your neck.

Your fingers carded through his locks, sighing when he sucked at your sweet spot. “Mm?”

“Not that I don’t love being inside you, but I can’t really pull out when you’ve got me trapped like this,” he chuckled into your neck, kissing over the blossoming bruise he'd left behind.

Your lips curled into a timid smile and you wrapped your limbs tighter around his figure, warming his softening cock between your walls. “Mm, good."

You clenched down on San teasingly, giggling when he hissed sharply, your laughter getting louder when his fingers began to poke at your sides. “You little- let go of me!”

“N-no!” You squirmed under him, gasping for air as he continued to tickle you.

His fingers stopped their ministrations after a few seconds and he smoothed his hands over your waist. “What if I promise to stay here and cuddle with you for the rest of the day? Will you let go of me then?”

Your eyebrows shot up, “what about your assignment?”

San cupped your jaw, his eyes full of love as he looked down at where you laid under him, so beautiful after he’d had you. How could he ever deny you anything?

“It can wait. It seems I've been neglecting my pretty baby and now I gotta make it up to her.”

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kitten4sannie · 4 months

Text

pairing: ex! san x fem! reader feat. wingman seonghwa and instigator mingi

genres: omg actual plot ??, exes to lovers, romance, angst with a happy ending, fluff, an attempt at humor, smut finale

summary: during a winter getaway with your friends, you end up having to come face to face with Choi San, the man who broke your heart in two just last christmas.

w.c: 8.2k

tags: features the unholy trinity: misunderstandings/miscommunication/messiness, drama (i bring drama-ma-ma-ma~), alcohol use, mutual jealousy, mutual pining, lots of banter, third parties, poor sannie and reader are just two big dummies with even bigger hearts </3,, like 20 flashbacks (okay it’s like 2 but i like being dramatic sue me), too many winter analogies, insecurities, confessions, l bombs, tears, all that jazz

warnings: soft dom! san (literally the softest dom to ever exist IM SICK), subby! reader, pussydrunk san and cockdrunk reader (like these mfs are so desperate for each other it’s actually disgusting), dirty talk, pet names, praise, possessiveness, kissing, a lot of spit (leave me alone!!!), tit play, grinding, body worship, oral (receiving), passionate condomless lovemaking by the fire baybeeeee, breeding kink, bulge kink, creampies

a/n: so i listen to last christmas religiously every year and while i was jamming my hamster brain was like “WRITE WRITE WRITE” so i diddd and yeahh this happened??? lmao but fr this was the most fun i’ve ever had writing since feb filth fest…. like wtf. i gotta write plot forward fics more often this shit’s like a drug man. anyways i hope you enjoy my dear lovelies <33

*shoutout to my sweetheart bunbun @cottoncandy-girl for beta reading and hyping this fic up during the writing process. i would’ve second guessed myself twice as much if not for you. you’re a lifesaver!! mwah mwah ~~

song rec for the general vibe: last christmas by wham obv <3, fool by frankie cosmos, snowfall (slowed and reverb) by oneheart, know me by gemini, easily by bruno major, flowers and chocolate by eyedress

angst: pleaser by the wallows, do me right by gemini, homesick by wave to earth, cherie by hojean

smut: mice city by hotel ugly, between your thighs by jimmy brown, lock me in by hojean, touch by keshi, your love by brb

Masterlist

“Hey, Y/N,” your best friend began, walking around the side of your beat-up car to the trunk where you were busy shoving various suitcases and bags into the small space and trying to make them fit. “So, don’t get mad, but–”

With a case of wine bottles in hand, you slowly set it down on the lip of the trunk, side-eyeing your friend with the intensity of a thousand suns. It was so powerful, it’d probably melt the snow that had been falling around your feet for the past thirty minutes. “Why would I be mad? What’s going on?”

“Just breathe for me, okay?” she sighed, bringing a hand up to play with a few strands of her hair. “So, you know how Seonghwa’s coming up to the cabin with us?”

“Um, yeah…? I don’t care about you bringing your boyfriend with us, you know. Just let me know if you’re gonna fuck so I can put my headphones on,” you replied, lifting the case up and pushing it inside the empty space of the trunk, satisfied that your long game of tetris was finally complete.

She quickly waved her hands, shaking her head. “No, that’s not…” she started, taking in a deep inhale, before letting it out, a wave of condensation hitting the cold air between the two of you. “He invited…someone. Someone you know.”

You bent down into the trunk to move a few items around, making sure they wouldn’t collapse on each other. “Okay? I only know you and a few other people, bestie. Who could it possibly be–”

“It’s San,” she finally blurted out, her face scrunching up in anticipation of your reaction.

Once your ex was spoken into existence again, a flood of memories from the previous year bombarded your defenseless brain and heart, causing you to stand up so quickly, you hit your head on the edge of the trunk lid.

“Oh my god, Y/N, are you okay?” your friend gasped, already at your side, helping you stand up straight and placing her hand on the one you had held against the back of your head.

“Oh, yeah, I’m good. I think that just knocked all the bad memories out of my brain. Ready to head out?” you chimed, giving her a thumbs up with your keys in hand, stumbling a bit in place, your vision fading out slightly.

Sighing, your friend reached for the keys. “Yeah, I’m driving.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Your friend pulled her keys out of the ignition once she parked in a free space near the cabin you’d both be staying at, turning her head to observe the way you were playing with the drawstrings of your joggers with a pout on your sullen face. “Y/N, are you sure you’re okay? You know, we’re visiting everyone else later, so you can always stay at their cabin, if you’d like. It’s much bigger and has wifi, and definitely won’t have S–”

“I’m not a little bitch,” you suddenly whined, your eyebrows furrowed, your pout growing. “I can handle being in the same cabin with my dumbass ex, okay? I don’t even care that he’s here, actually.”

She nodded her head knowingly, giving you a gentle smile. “Just let me know if you’re uncomfortable, please. And if he starts up with one of his…unique personalities, tell me or Seonghwa, alright? He knows how to handle him.”

“I can handle him myself. There’s plenty of snow for me to toss him into, or some flames if our cabin has a fireplace,” you muttered, too stubborn to admit that your heart would most likely explode as soon as you had the displeasure of witnessing his disgustingly handsome face and charming dimpled smile.

Your friend shook her head slightly, unable to keep from smiling in your direction. “There is a fireplace, yeah.”

You sighed contentedly, admiring the expanse of dense snow, the sundry of oversized pine trees, the far away mountains covered in white, and the cluster of cozy-looking cabins beyond the frosted windshield. “Finally, some good news.”

Once you both got to the front steps of the cabin you’d be staying at, your arms full of the items that you could bring from the car, the front door swung open, almost giving you a heart attack on the spot.

“Baby, you’re here!” Seonghwa gasped, pulling your friend into his arms when she set her stuff down on the porch and spinning her around in a small circle, his eyes twinkling with pure adoration.

Once Seonghwa acknowledged your presence with a warm greeting, you stood off to the side while your friend and Seonghwa kissed and giggled with each other, your arms beginning to feel like jelly, wishing someone would just stamp the words “third wheel” on your forehead already.

“That looks heavy,” you heard someone say in a deeply familiar baritone voice, causing you to whip your head towards the origin, your wide eyes meeting San’s concerned coffee brown ones. “Do you want me to carry it in for you?”

“San,” you automatically blurted out, alarm bells going off, the mini versions of you running around in panic inside your head, your fingers clasping tighter around your things.

“Y/N,” he parroted back in the same cadence, already moving closer to you, his arms sliding underneath your belongings and holding them up with ease, his navy sweater doing nothing to conceal the solid mass of his arm muscles. “Is it like, misogynistic for me to carry your things?”

You opened and closed your hands, trying your get rid of the pins and needles. “No, I’d say it’s progressive since it’s a big dumb caveman carrying my things, so women: 1, patriarchy: 0.”

San offered you a dimpled smile, his wide shoulders scrunching up slightly, as a hearty laugh emanated from his throat. “Caveman, I like that. Should I go find a cave to explore?” He tilted his head, his eyes flitting between yours and your pleasing body line. “Maybe try to start a fire?”

Your heart leapt into your throat, forcing you to gulp it down. You sneered, already beginning to push past him to enter the cabin, only turning your head back to tell him, “Start a fire and jump inside, caveman.”

San smiled at you, seeing right past your act, watching you walk away, before turning his head to look at the two lovebirds still hugging on each other. “See that? She already gave me a pet name.”

❆ ❆ ❆

“Fuck,” you groaned, dropping yourself down onto the surprisingly comfy mattress in the cozy guest room you were occupying, finally done with putting your clothes and toiletries away in their respective places, for the most part, also noticing that the violent hammering inside your chest had subsided.

And then your door opened.

“Yo, this cabin is pretty sick, right? It’s got a nice, cabin-ey feeling to it,” San announced, walking into your room and looking around like he owned the place. Typical San behavior. Whistling casually, he eventually headed over to your side of the bed, picking up a few skincare products that were sitting on your bedside table to study them. “Does this retinol shit really work?”

“Excuse me, but are you lost? This is my room,” you combated, not bothering to get up from the bed you were currently sinking into, simply turning on your back and lifting your head up slightly to glare at him.

“Bro.” San clutched his chest like you had just emptied a clip right in between his tits, his eyebrows turning upwards, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Why do you act like we haven’t been inside each other?” He climbed onto the bed, looking down at you past his black bangs. “Matter of fact, I know you better than your little friend downstairs.”

You stared up at him, cursing yourself for wanting nothing more than to grab him by his stupid face and kiss him — but you wouldn’t, not after what he did. “You’re so gross.”

“Like in a sexy way, right?” he quipped, chuckling when you just shook your head. San slowly laid himself down beside you, looking up at the ceiling, reaching up behind his head and cupping the back of it to get more comfortable. “You didn’t argue against the fact that I know you better than your own self proclaimed ‘bestie’, you know.”

You let out a small sigh, resting your hands down at your sides, gripping the quilted blanket underneath you, your heart pounding inside your chest just like it did last Christmas. Did you ever fall out of love with him? Was that why your heart felt so stuck? Frozen in place? Like it was waiting for San to make it beat again? “Well, for once, you’re not wrong. I…let you in back then, obviously, so yeah, you know me better than she does. You know me better than anyone.”

San began to reach for your hand, hesitating for a second, not even realizing his walls were just as high. If only he could gather the courage to bring them down. “Y/N…”

You turned to look at San just as he turned his whole body towards yours, giving you one of his infamous gazes, his eyes closed ever so slightly, his lips parted, drawing in a breath. He lowered his hand, touching the top of yours, rubbing it with his thumb. “You know what else I know?”

Why did he have to do this to you? Just what the fuck was his problem?

“What, San?” you questioned underneath your breath, seconds away from losing it completely.

His eyes lost their playful twinkle, instead displaying sorrow. “Y/N, I–”

Seonghwa popped his head into the room. “Y/N, have you seen– Oh,” he deadpanned, displaying an oddly delighted smile for a split second, before his lips evened out. “We’re heading to the hang out now. It’s gonna snow pretty hard in a bit so it’s now or never.”

You both sat up from the bed, your cheeks burning like you had just been caught, well, inside of each other.

Seonghwa was about to say something when your friend walked up behind him and pulled him into whisper something, causing him to whisper back, the both of them nodding at each other.

You and San exchanged glances, before all four of you looked at one another. “Are you hiding things from me, pookie?” you playfully asked your friend, pouting.

“No, I’d never hide anything from you, pookie wookie baby bear!” she cried dramatically, running into the room and tackling you back down onto the bed.

San looked to Seonghwa, making grabby hands at him. “Where’s my hug?”

Seonghwa clicked his tongue, pointing at San’s thin sweater as it rose past his hips. “You better put on some more layers before we go, pookie bear. It’s cold as balls outside.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Instead of hanging out inside your friend’s friends’ cabin where the party was at, you loitered outside in the snow, building yourself a snowman. Maybe he’d stay by your side longer than the last one.

“Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself, ba–” San started, standing with his arm just barely pressing into yours, immediately clearing his throat, sticking his hands into his coat pockets. “Y/N, I mean, heh, sorry I’ve had a few drinks.”

You almost broke the empty beer bottle you were using as the snowman’s nose inside your hands from hearing San almost address you as baby, turning your head to look at the adorably goofy smile he had on his stupidly cute face. You bit your lip, wishing he would just say it, the layers of ice around your heart starting to crack. “I figured. Well, how come you’re out here with me, instead of shotgunning a beer or something with your caveman friends?”

Amused, San nodded his head, impressed by your ability to keep up with your shtick. “They’re too busy hanging around the fireplace, you know. The fire’s so pretty, they got distracted.” He grinned at you, grinning harder when you began to smile back at him, his heart skipping a beat at the sound of the giggle that escaped your lips. “I missed your giggle…missed you…” he murmured absentmindedly, pretending to stay busy by helping you round out the head of the snowman, while you stuck a rock into it where one of the eyes would be.

You dropped the other rock, standing still, feeling your mouth go dry. You racked your brain over his words, wanting to ask him why he didn’t stay with you in the first place if he was just going to miss you so much. You missed him too. You wanted him to know.

By the time you had made up your mind, San had picked up the rock and stuck it into the snow, completing the snowman’s face. “There we go. Mr. Snowman’s looking real nice.” He waited for a second, before turning to look at you with a concerned pout. “He’s not cuter than me, right?” When you didn’t respond, he blinked, leaning in. “Y/N?”

Instead of responding, you found yourself wrapping your arms around San’s neck, pulling him into a hug. You didn’t even say anything — you just focused on feeling his warm body against yours, recalling what it felt like to be his. His baby. If only he would just say it.

“Baby…” he whispered just under his breath, so carefully, like he risked the chance of causing an avalanche if he spoke any louder, gently rubbing your back in circles, automatically resting his head on the top of yours like he did last year. “What’s this about?”

“I don’t know, I just–” you murmured into his chest, your own about to collapse in on itself from hearing what he said, hugging onto him a little tighter than before, wishing things were different. “I…I think I’m drunk…”

“Oh…” San replied, swallowing harshly, only pulling away once you started to. He tucked a bit of hair behind your ear, giving you a concerned look. “You should come back inside and drink some water, then. Seonghwa was right to tell me to check up on you.”

Your face fell slightly, the bottle that was stuck inside the snowman drooping inside the melting snow as if it was mirroring your disappointment. “You…only came out here because Seonghwa told you to?”

“Well, I mean, he was the one that noticed you were gone, so he just thought I should make sure you were okay, yeah…” San explained, rubbing his arm.

You nodded your head, a soft smile returning to your face, not wanting San to see the hurt you felt, not yet, anyway. You were still able to hide it as of late. “That’s nice of him.”

“Yeah, Hwa’s a sweetie,” San mused, noticing the sad snowman, reaching out to fix the position of the beer bottle. “Too bad he’s taken, otherwise I’d be wifing him up and giving him the exclusive Choi San Caveman Experience. There’s a trademark on that, by the way.”He gave you another goofy smile, his smile growing when you offered him a few small giggles.

“I think you need water more than I do,” you mentioned, gently punching his arm.

San chuckled, his smile softening, wanting to say so much more than just, “You might be right.”

After a few seconds of too much silence, and too much yearning for an important conversation to take place, you instead pointed to the lively cabin behind you. “You should go get some. I’ll be back inside soon.”

“Okay, sounds good.” He put his hands back into his pockets, lingering there for a moment, before heading back inside.

You stood there for a while, watching the makeshift nose of the snowman begin to droop again, before you reeled your foot back and kicked into the base of the snowman, watching it topple over and fall apart.

❆ ❆ ❆

You lingered near the spiked punch bowl that sat inside the corner of the cabin’s empty kitchen, drinking down a solo cup’s worth of the fruity beverage and tossing the cup into the sink, not noticing another person’s presence until you turned to the side and bumped your nose into their broad chest. “Oh, shit– I’m sorry,” you apologized, backing up a bit to see that you had ran into no one other than Song Mingi, the man you had trauma dumped and cried to for an hour before having mindless rebound sex with after San dumped you. “Min, hey. Long time, no see.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to see you again. Very nice,” Mingi mused, taking a long sip of his drink, just studying you with his amused, half-closed eyes, pointing upwards with his finger. “What are the odds of this?”

“Hm?” Your eyes followed where he was pointing until your gaze settled on the mistletoe that hung from the doorway above the two of you, a memory of the past immediately lighting up the insides of your brain like the flash of a camera, the snapshot still fresh in your subconscious as though it had never faded in the first place, much like your feelings for San — but who were you to admit that to yourself?

“Jesus, what is with people and mistletoe?” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your itchy christmas sweater, ready to shield your eyes so you didn’t have to look at the two people vigorously making out underneath the red berries that were hung from the ceiling of the crowded cabin.

San hovered near you, running a hand through his hair, his eyes studying your scrunched up, flushed face, wondering how you could be so cute. “The origin of mistletoe is actually really romantic, y’know.” Once you met his gaze, his lips curled into a smile, his dimples making an appearance.

You gripped onto your sweater sleeve, smiling softly back at him, your annoyance fading. “Tell me about it then, Mr. Historian.”

San’s eyes sparkled at your reaction, his shoulder gently pressing into yours as he brought his drink up to his mouth. “Mistletoe has always been able to survive in the harshest of winters. Even when everything’s frozen…” When he lowered his hand, the side of his pinky touched yours, sending warmth into the both of your bodies. “….it still finds a way to bloom.”

You took in a quick breath, having to look down at your feet before your heart burst out of your chest as an unintentional ode to Alien and ruined the annual christmas party. “I didn’t peg you as a hopeless romantic, San.”

“I’m full of surprises, baby.” San hummed, gently taking your chin in his grasp and pressing a kiss to your lips, giggling delightedly as you buried your scorching face into his chest, his heart pounding, wanting nothing more than to show you just how hopelessly in love he was with you, but too afraid to grant you access to the very intense, very full extent of it, let alone himself.

He was full of surprises, so full of them that he was able to show such a meaningful display of love to you and still break up with you on the very same night, with little to no explanation, just a simple ‘I’m sorry.’ Choi San was truly an enigma — one you cursed yourself for still wanting to grasp, to hold, to forgive.

You looked down at Mingi’s drink only for him to motion for you to take it, immediately downing the punch until you were sucking on an ice cube and crunching it between your teeth, satisfied with the buzz coursing through your body, bitterness still seeping its way in your veins. You knew that what you were about to do wouldn’t make you feel any better, but you did it anyway, grabbing Mingi by the collar of his ugly Christmas sweater and smashing your lips against his. What you didn’t know, however, was that San was standing at the end of the hallway, with his hand in his coat pocket, there to witness how Mingi pressed you into the wall.

❆ ❆ ❆

Your friend slowly inched her way towards you from across the brightly lit, festively decorated living room full of your boisterous acquaintances having a battle with each other to determine who could be the loudest, drunkest individual in the room. Currently, it was San, unsurprisingly, who had a beer in one hand while hugging onto the obscenely large Christmas tree in the middle of the room. You couldn’t tell exactly what song he was singing, but you were pretty sure it was a romantic, mostly cheesy pop ballad from the 80s.

“Having fun?” your friend gauged softly, sitting down on the sofa in the corner beside you, clinking her glass beer bottle against yours.

You shrugged, taking a few sips of the chilled beer, crossing one leg over the other. “I made out with Mingi earlier, so that was cool, I guess.”

“You what?” she gasped, pressing closer to you, grabbing your arm and shaking you. “Y/N, oh my god, that’s so —” Her gossipy tone turned into one of concern. “But what about San?”

“What about San?” you grumbled, internally annoyed that all you could think about was San when Mingi’s tongue was down your throat. “He probably already did the same thing, considering how torched he is.”

She sighed, sinking into the couch, very well aware of how San truly felt about you, last Christmas, and how much he wanted to turn things around. Of course she would know. She had to hear it from Seonghwa, who in turn heard it from San off and on for the entire year, but she wasn’t about to speak for him. He would have to do that himself.

“Are you going to play truth, dare, or drink with us?” Mingi suddenly asked you, leaning his hip against the side of the couch, causing you and your friend to look up at him.

“Ehh.” You shrugged your shoulders at him.

He put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it, feeling someone’s eyes burning holes into the back of his head, figuring San was watching the both of you from the tree, who indeed was, his hands tightening around his beer and the scratchy pine needles he was holding onto. “It’ll be more fun if you join in, Y/N. How bout it?”

You sucked on your teeth for a second, your eyes moving past Mingi to gaze at San across the room, who was now talking to a girl who had came up to him, your stomach sinking at the clear appearance of his dimples. Stupid caveman.

You stood up, fingers squeezing around your poor beer bottle. “Fuck it, I’m in.”

“Good, good,” Mingi replied, smiling absentmindedly, bringing his own drink up to his lips, as if he wasn’t aware of the disaster he was about to bring into fruition — and all for the chance that he could recreate the events of last year’s Christmas party. It led to him having a pretty, teary-eyed girl in his bed to take care of, after all.

❆ ❆ ❆

“Yo, I can’t believe — he actually — I can’t breathe,” someone gasped out in between soundless laughs, falling back into their chair along with their other friends, pointing at San as he trudged back into the cabin past the sliding door, clad in only a form-fitting pair of Christmas themed boxers, wiping some snow off of his shoulders, before immediately going for his mixed drink and tossing it back victoriously, one hand on his hip.

“You bitches really thought I wouldn’t do it,” San chuckled self-righteously, taking another sip, before letting out a low ‘aaah’. “Someone owes me 20 bucks. Which one of you was it?” He held up an accusative finger to one of the girls nearby, who giggled and held her hands up defensively. “It was you, wasn’t it? Give it up!”

The rest of the group laughed in response, drunkenly leaning into each other, gleeful smiles plastered on their flushed faces.

“San’s pretty lively tonight,” Seonghwa said near you, nudging you gently with his elbow. “It’s almost kind of cute, huh?” Poor man was out of the loop, but he was trying, bless his heart.

“Cute?” you muttered, raising an eyebrow at him. “He’s butt-ass naked at a Christmas party. He’s a grown man wearing boxers with candy canes on it. What on earth is cute about that?”

Seonghwa pursed his lips, side-eyeing you. “I don’t know, I just thought you’d agree with the way you’ve been staring at him all night.“

You almost choked on your spit, bringing a hand up to your hair to smooth it out. “Well, it’s hard to keep my eyes off of him when he’s being an annoying ass pick-me like that.”

“But you picked…him.”

“I did. Ages ago, Seonghwa,” you corrected him, watching San out of the corner of your eye, unable to believe that he was letting the girl slip a twenty directly into the waistline of his boxers. As soon as you looked down, San’s eyes were on you, his lips turning into a frown, immediately pushing the girl’s hand away when it lingered a bit too long, his eyes filled with bitter determination. “You know what he did to me. He spent all that time getting my hopes up all year long, only to hit me with the ‘i’m bad with commitment’ card before he left the party last year. That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

Seonghwa sighed in defeat, sinking back into his seat, biting at his lip. “I get what you’re saying, Y/N, I really do. It was unbelievably shitty for him to do that to you, but San…I think he really regrets it. All he talks about is you, Y/N.” Seonghwa turned to face you, gently touching your wrist. “He’s always loved you. He just doesn’t know how to verbalize it.”

You started biting at your lip too, simply listening to your friend’s words, wondering if there was any truth to them. It’s not like you were hearing them from San himself. That would be a different story — though you didn’t know if he was even capable of that kind of vulnerability. “I’d like to believe that, Hwa. I just…”

“Oh my god! With tongue? My virgin eyes!” someone gasped loudly at something, covering their eyes, their friends laughing at his dramatic performance.

“At least someone’s getting some,” Mingi chuckled, while eyeing you, currently holding up the same piece of mistletoe you had encountered together earlier, only this time someone else was under it. Someone that made you wish you had never even came up to the cabin in the first place.

“There’s no way…” you whispered to yourself, unable to take your eyes off of San, who was holding that same girl against him, his hands clutching her hips, his tongue halfway into her mouth by the time you got up from the couch and grabbed a water cup from the coffee table, determined to keep your tears inside your body before you stormed out, but you had to answer to your demons first.

“Y/N, he’s just drunk! He’s trying to make you jealous, okay? He’s being an idiot! Y/N, listen–” Seonghwa tried fruitlessly to reason with you, reaching for your wrist, only for it to slip out of his grasp as you made your way up to San and the unsuspecting woman.

Your bitter, frozen heart quelled you to toss the water at San, watching it splash onto the side of his reddened face, the shock of it sobering him up almost instantaneously, causing him to pull away from the woman and look at you, the weight of his faulty decisions hitting him square into the chest when he saw the tears in your eyes. “Y/N…I…I didn’t mean….I just…” Tears began to form inside his own eyes. “I just wanted you to see me.”

“I see you, San,” you whispered, your voice cracking underneath the weight of your emotional turmoil. “I’ve seen enough, actually.”

San froze in place, while what felt like cement sink to the bottom of his stomach, unable to get himself to stop you from grabbing a freshly opened bottle of booze from someone’s hands and walking away from him.

Your friend tried in vain to reason with you, getting hit with a death glare, before you stormed out. She turned to Seonghwa, whispering “Do something,” encouraging him to run over to San, grabbing him by the shoulders and temporarily keeping him upright.

“San, listen to me.”

San sniffled, his nose sporting a pink hue, as hot tears began to drip down his clammy face, sinking down to his knees, watching as Seonghwa sank down with him. “Seonghwa, I fucked up. I just wanted her to want me. I wanted her to get jealous and take what’s hers. I didn’t know how– a-and her, and Mingi– I just thought maybe if I–”

Seonghwa shook San a bit, his nostrils flaring, his fingers squeezing into his friend’s trembling shoulders. “Get a grip and listen to me!” As soon as San took in a shaky breath and let it out, Seonghwa cleared his throat. “You’re going to put some fucking clothes on, nut up, and go after her. It’s now or never.”

San wiped his eyes, trying to control his breathing. “B-but what do I say, Seonghwa? How can I possibly–”

Seonghwa suddenly pulled him into a hug, clutching the back of his head, feeling San slowly begin to relax against him. “You’re going be honest with her, San. Tell her what you’ve always wanted her to know. The world isn’t going to end after you do. She’ll still be there, and you’ll be safe.”

San clutched Seonghwa’s back, blinking away a few remaining tears. “You promise?”

Seonghwa pulled away, curling his pinky finger around his best friend’s, giving him a firm nod. “Promise.” Seeing the trust inside San’s sparkling eyes, Seonghwa reached up to ruffle his hair, smiling softly. “Oh, and give her that Christmas present you’ve been waiting for her to open.”

A small smile slowly apread across his splotchy face, before he gave Seonghwa a stern nod back, reaching his hand inside the pocket of his coat to feel what had been sitting inside and collecting dust for the entire year. It was time. Things weren’t going to end up like last Christmas. It would be different this time. He would make sure of it.

❆ ❆ ❆

With each passing minute, you sank a little further into the abyss of your memories, as well as the freshly fallen layers of snow that surrounded you, splashes of alcohol melting into it whenever you took a lazy swig and dropped the bottle back down at your side. “You dummy…” you mumbled to yourself, sniffling, your warm tears and body doing its best to combat the chilly environment around you.

Once you reached a street lamp, the warm light glowing onto your damp clothes, the memories of last year, that had once been frozen over suddenly flooded into your mind so quickly, you had to lower yourself onto the gravel beneath you, resting your back against the metal of the large buzzing lamp. “Shit…” You brought your wrist to your eyes, smearing a fresh wave of tears into your slightly damp hair, realizing you had been there before, the deja vu hitting you harder than the icy night wind hit your flushed face.

“San, what’s wrong?” You stood next to your boyfriend, watching him simply stare at the Christmas tree in front of him, his hands in his coat pockets.

San clutched onto the present he had spent weeks waiting to be custom-made and even longer just staring at it inside his apartment, wondering if it was enough, if he was enough, for someone like you.

San slowly shook his head, taking his hand out of his pocket to gently grab your wrist, leaning in to ask, “Can we talk?”

“No, we’re not doing this right now,” you told yourself out loud, smacking the side of your head and shaking it back and forth to hopefully send the memory packing, but it persisted, much like the snowfall around you.

“I don’t understand, San, we were fine! We’re okay. Why are you doing this?” you cried, trying and failing to keep San from leaving the cabin, unable to catch the corner of his coat sleeve until you were both under a street lamp, the light blinking occasionally.

San slowly turned around to face you for a moment, shaking his head, keeping his tears at bay. He didn’t know what he was thinking. How would he be enough for someone like you? Poor San simply couldn’t see the beauty he saw in you in his own self. “I just can’t, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I really am.”

“Can’t what? Can you just talk to me, San? I want to understand, San, please, talk to me,” you begged him, your heart sinking further with each step you took towards him as he continued to walk away. You stopped eventually, in the front of his car, your breath caught in your throat. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to leave? Just like that?”

San stroked his hair with a shaky hand in an unconscious act of self-soathing, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, looking off to the side, before gripping the door handle of his car, as well as the felt box inside his pocket with his other hand, only seeing a blurry version of you by the time he looked back up. How could he explain how afraid he was of you and the love you offered him? How his many walls, like ice, were impenetrable, until you melted them away? It frightened him, so much so that all he could say was, “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” before he got into the car and shut the door.

“You…dummy…” you repeated, this time in a whisper, taking another swig from the bottle and choking down the strong liquor, about to force yourself to down it when you heard what sounded like a set of boots quickly shuffling through the snow.

“Y/N,” San gasped, almost completely out of breath from running through the rough winter terrain, bending forward slightly with his hands on his knees to catch his breath, sending puffs of condensation into the air around you. “I have to – tell you something–”

“Oh, now you have something to say? After all this time? That’s rich,” you scoffed, wobbling a bit as you stood up, trying to put up a front like you had done earlier, though your facade had since melted away, your quivering lips and red, teary eyes on full display. “…Go on, San…”

San finally caught his breath, his heart still hammering away inside his chest, reaching up to his head to stroke his somewhat damp raven hair, trying to swallow the growing lump inside his throat. “Y/N, I…I should’ve said this a long time ago, instead of just leaving you the way I did…”

The longer you stared at him, the longer he felt his walls crumbling around him, figuring that he had no choice but to tell you what had always been lingering on his tongue, buzzing in his heart and mind, and swimming inside his thoughts each night when he was alone. He realized it was worth the risk of having to return to a cold, silent heart, a bitter soul, and even higher walls that he could box himself inside of. To him, you were worth anything.

Your anger slowly subsided at the sight of his serious gaze, his warm coffee-brown eyes studying you like nothing else existed besides you. In fact, nothing did, inside his world, except for you. “San…” you murmured, reaching out to touch his hand, but he already beat you to it, interlacing your cold fingers together.

“I love you, Y/N,” he admitted in the softest, most convicting voice you’ve ever heard from him, slowly pulling out the box he kept inside his coat, opening it to reveal a small gold ring with a jewel shaped like mistletoe, gently sliding it onto your finger when you held your hand out. “I love you so much, baby. So much it terrifies me.”

“Oh, San…” you sighed, breathless, bringing your hand to your chest from being so overwhelmed with emotion. After a moment, you reached for his hand, squeezing it, moving closer to him, his confession and gift warming you up more than a raging, crackling fire ever could. “San–”

“If I had just told you how I felt back then, I wouldn’t have hurt you the way I did.” He squeezed your hand back, his chapped, lower lip quivering. “I wish I could take it all back. It’s all I’ve been able to think about– How I wish I could just turn back time and–”

You silenced San’s words with a gentle kiss, letting go of his hand to wrap your arms around his neck, his arms following suit, closing around your waist. You broke the kiss after a moment to whisper, “I love you too, San. Always have.” You caressed his face, making sure he felt the love pouring out of your words when you promised, “Always will.”

San let out a trapped breath of air, hugging you against him, protectively clutching the back of your head, unable to stop everything he had held inside from spilling out of him all at once.

You simply held him in your arms and stroked the back of his head, not noticing when the light above you had flickered once and went out for a split second, only to shine brighter than it did before, the light warming the exposed skin of your flushed cheeks.

❆ ❆ ❆

San sat on his knees beside the crackling fire, adjusting a piece of firewood, watching the flame catch onto it and travel along the cedar, enjoying the warmth on his skin, eventually turning his head back to admire the sight of you bundled up on the couch with a plush blanket on your lap, your hands clasped around a cup of tea, your eyes admiring your twinkling ring, before you noticed his loving gaze.

“Sannie, come here, love,” you spoke softly, taking one finger off of the cup to beckon him to you, sliding the blanket off and putting the cup down after one more sip.

“Coming, baby.” Eyes sparkling, San inched his way over to you, still on his knees, fitting himself in between yours so that he could wrap his arms around your middle, resting his head against your chest. “Mm, you’re so warm.”

You ran your fingers through his soft, still slightly damp hair, waiting till he looked up at you to caress his cheek, a small sigh leaving your lips. “I’m sorry for what I did to you earlier. I really shouldn’t have reacted like that. It was hypocritical of me.” You ran your fingers gently along his jaw, noticing the way he leaned into your touch.

“No, baby, I’m sorry,” he replied, rubbing his hands up and down your sides, pouting. “I did…that to you in front of everyone…It was really shitty…I just couldn’t think straight after I saw you with Mingi.”

Your face fell, your fingers sliding back into San’s hair to play with it. “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t…I want you to know that there was no meaning behind it, love. I was just bitter. And drunk.”

“I know, Y/N. It’s all forgiven, I promise you.” San reassured softly, responding well to your light touches, nuzzling your hand when it came back to his cheek, his fingers sliding underneath your sweater to squeeze into your sides, sending a light shiver up your spine. “But, you know what, baby?”

“What, Sannie?” Your body temperature started to increase as San brought himself up higher so that you were face to face, body to body, his palms settling onto your bare back.

“There’s meaning behind this,” he whispered, bringing his hands up to cup your face, before gently pressing his lips onto yours. You shared a few firm, passionate kisses, your lips moving against one another’s, hearing San whisper something else that sent a wave straight into your core. “Can you feel it, baby? My love?”

“Yeah, show me more, Sannie,” you murmured against his lips, his mouth slotting back onto yours, almost making you forget to breathe when his tongue began to explore the inside of your mouth.

San sucked lightly on your tongue, before moving down to kiss on your neck, his hands moving further up to unclasp your bra from underneath your sweater. “Can I please touch you, baby?” he asked with a desperation that made his deep voice go up an octave higher.

“Yes, please, touch me,” you responded with just as much desperation, arching your back into his touch when he slipped his hands up the front of your sweater, moving your tits in slow, gentle circles, his lips and teeth attacking your neck and collarbone.

“You feel so good in my hands, baby, fuck, I missed you so much,” San exhaled into your neck, squeezing the roundness of your tits in between his fingers, squishing them together, and lifting them up, only to drop them back down into his palms, groaning all the while. He pulled back slightly, rolling the hem of your sweater up a bit, his hooded, dilated eyes focused solely on yours. “Can I take this off?”

A quick nod was all it took for him to lift your sweater up over your head, your bra falling to the floor. Not wanting you to be alone, he reached behind his head and pulled his own sweater off, his sculpted, muscular upper body bathed in glowing, orange light from the fire blazing away behind him. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N…” he sighed, admiring your body like he did the very first time he saw you bare in front of him.

“So are you,” you replied, slowly running your hands up along his abdomen and back down, his muscles flexing slightly underneath your touch, his eyes following your fingers as they unbuckled his belt, pulling his pants down to reveal his cute custom briefs. “My Sannie, so precious.”

San blushed, his goofy smile slowly disappearing as he unbuttoned your pants, biting hard into his bottom lip once he got them off of you. “Baby…” Unable to just sit there and admire you, he reached forward to cup your tits, running his thumbs back and forth over your stiff nipples, lust clearly running rampant in his head and body by the way he was looking at you with such clear hunger in his eyes, his cock hard and stiff against your core. “Can I taste you?”

“Baby, you don’t have to ask, okay? You can have me, in any way–” you started breathily, feeling San’s cock beginning to pulse against you. “–Every way, Sannie. Please, take care of me.”

San suddenly clutched your hips, slowly grinding his clothed cock into your heat, while his mouth closed around one of your nipples to suck on it, his hooded eyes looking up into yours, his tongue darting out to lap at your tit.

“Feels so good, your mouth on me,” you breathed out, running your fingers through his hair, clutching it tight when he swapped your tit for the other, his jaw lowering so that he could fit more of your squishy globe into his mouth, sucking on it desperately. “Sannie…please…”

Knowing what you wanted, San pulled back to spit onto your tits, watching it drip down, before leaning back in to lick it up, his tongue cascading up and down your now slick skin, still guiding your hips against him, your legs already hooked around his slim waist. Your whiny moans were like music to his ears, taking a break from sucking and licking you to say, “You like it messy, don’t you, baby girl? Makes you so wet for me, doesn’t it?”

“Uh-huh, now come here,” you could barely get out, before you grabbed his face and slammed your lips against his, your mouths and tongues working in tandem, strands of spit dripping down your chins, San’s hands squeezing tightly into your hips, grinding against you so quick, so desperately, you were both about to reach your highs just from that.

“Sannie,” you sighed against his lips, caressing his jaw, his cock rubbing against your cunt in just the right way, your body pulsing with the need to be filled.

“Y/N,” he sighed back, pressing his forehead onto yours, the both of you breathing in the same air, the thick, throbbing length of his cock rubbing deliciously along your clothed slit until your lower halves began to jolt, your moans and gasps crescendoing in unison. “Cumming? Are you cumming for me, baby?”

“Y–esss, Sannie, m’ cumming for you,” you cried out, holding onto him as tightly as you could, your nails digging lightly into his back, feeling his muscles contracting. “Cum for me too, please, baby, let me see you.”

San let out a choked, whiny moan, panting heavily, losing his quick, focused thrusts, opting for sloppy, abrupt movements, barely about to get out the word, “B–abyyy…”

You both fell apart in each other’s arms, your eyes never breaking contact, your combined arousal soaking through your respective undergarments.

Once you both caught your breath, San reached down to rub your pussy with two thick fingers, able to see your slit through your shiny, see-through panties, his cum-covered cock already twitching back to life. “Fuck, baby, look at that…you’re completely soaked.”

“Just for you,” you nodded, spreading your thighs open further, pulling the hem of your panties up a bit to emphasize your puffy cunt, your clit pressing into the soft cloth material.

“Oh my god, baby, I need to taste you,” San suddenly whined, squeezing his fingers into the softness of your thighs, lowering himself down to take a deep inhale of your arousal, his head going completely fuzzy, unable to keep himself from drooling onto your cunt.

You slipped your fingers into his soft hair, bringing his face against your heat, sighing at the feeling of his nose bumping against your clit as he took another deep breath, shuddering when he began to tongue your cunt through your panties. “That’s it, Sannie, feels so good,” you moaned, your praise going straight to San’s cock, causing it to strain against his stained briefs.

“Mmmn,” San moaned against your pussy, licking one slow, long strip up your slit to your clit, filled with so much need for you that he couldn’t keep himself from tearing your panties off of you with one quick tug, making you gasp and release more slick, his mouth already on you to lap it right up, his other hand shoving his briefs down so that his cock could spring out against his abdomen, pre-cum smearing across his tan skin. “This pussy is all mine, baby…mine to eat, mine to fuck….mine to fill, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Sannie, all yours, it’s all yours,” you answered, clutching his hair, desperately grinding your cunt against his tongue when he held it out, looking deep into his eyes that never left yours for a second, suddenly gasping out when San spread your hole open, sending a wad of spit inside before his agile tongue slipped inside of you.

San grabbed the undersides of your thighs and lifted your lower half up so that he could tongue fuck you as deep as humanly possible, letting out a pleased moan each time his tongue entered your soaked, pulsing hole. He kept going until you saw stars, going ‘uh-huhhh, uh-huhhh’ as soon as you began to shudder, your arousal squirting out and soaking his flushed face.

“My pretty baby came so hard for me,” San sighed, licking your wetness up from your sensitive cunt and his lips, before he brought you in for another sloppy kiss, letting you taste yourself.

The longer you kissed, the more you wanted him inside you, needed him to fuck his love into you until you couldn’t remember your own name. You needed him so badly, you didnt even realize what you were doing until you had found yourself pushing San down onto the fur carpet below and straddling him, sitting on his lap in a way that showed the both of you exactly where his long, veiny cock would reach inside of you once he filled you up. “Need you, Sannie. Need you now.”

“You can have me, baby.” San’s cock twitched against your abdomen, his hands rubbing your thighs, eventually lifting you up and down onto his cock, groaning at the feeling of your pussy swallowing his length inch by inch. “Fuck, princess, have all of me.”

Instinctively, San began to buck his hips up into you, filling you up so well, you felt a bit dizzy, encouraging you to hold onto his chest, still taking his cock deep inside your cunt like you were made for him.

San must’ve agreed too because he couldn’t keep from groaning out, “Look at you, babygirl, look at the way you’re taking me, taking my cock so deep–” He pressed one hand to your abdomen, feeling the bulge his cock made each time he fucked into you, driving the both of you crazy. “Your pretty pussy was made for me, baby. Made just for me. You’re mine, babygirl.”

“Yours.” You quickly lowered yourself down to kiss him, his hands sliding up and down along your body to feel your warm skin underneath his touch, eventually settling his hands on your cheeks, wiping a few of your tears away when you began to cry from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Cum for me, Y/N…You can do it…Fall apart for me, baby, ” San encouraged in between heavy breaths, slowing the movements of his hips down, instead filling you up in a slow and meticulous manner, drawing your intense orgasm out of you. “Yes, baby, that’s it, that’s it…”

“Sannnn, oh my god, San.” The longer you fell apart, the tighter your pussy constricted around San’s cock, causing him to throw his head back, sweat dripping down along his straining neck, his veins growing more visible when he gripped your thighs tightly. “Fill me up, Sannie. Need your cum inside.”

“Cumminggg, princess, oh my god, baby girl,” San groaned heavily, lifting you up and down on his throbbing length, before fully sheathing himself inside you, coating your walls with white.

Panting, you both gazed at each other’s sweat-covered faces and bodies, knowing internally that it wasn’t enough. Not nearly.

“Again?”

“Again.”

San didn’t waste any time gently pulling you off of him and climbing on top of you instead, spreading you open and filling you back up, sighing at the sight of your mixed arousal forming a ring around the base of his cock each time he pounded himself into you. “You’re so full of my cum, baby…so full of my cock, aren’t you, pretty girl?”

“So full for you, Sannie, don’t stop,” you gasped, hardly able to breathe with the way he had you folded up, your legs over his shoulders, his cock slamming so deep inside you that you swore he was hitting your womb.

“Wasn’t gonna,” San exhaled, chuckling softly, his lips curling up to give you a smile, his eyes creasing with amusement. “Need to show you my love.”

“Show me, baby,” you sighed affectionately, smiling back at him, giggling at the sight of his eyes lighting up, before you pressed a kiss to his lips.

The wet, sloppy sound of your bodies joining together over and over filled up the otherwise quiet cabin, along with your harmonious moans, the remaining pieces of firewood still crackling away beside you. Time seemed to stop completely. It was just you and him, coming undone together for what seemed like a lifetime.

You both ended up back on the couch, your limbs and bodies entangled, snuggling together underneath the cozy blanket, talking with each other about anything and everything until your eyelids grew heavy, leading you to drift off, your fingers clasped together.

Before you could fully fall asleep, you nuzzled your cheek against San’s chest, gently inhaling his comforting scent. He smelled like aftershave, warm cedar wood, and spiced cinnamon. It reminded you of your time there at the cabin, the memories you spent together, both good and bad, swirling together to form a comfortingly bittersweet concoction, one that you would consume in every lifetime.

“San,” you whispered softly into the darkness, the fire beside the both of you now ashes and smoke.

“Yes, Y/N?” he whispered back, his arms closing around you protectively.

You sighed against his skin, your body and heart melting like the snow would begin to do as well, once the sun came up. “I love you so much, San…” You lifted your head up, hovering above him so that you could look down at him, your fingers clutching his jaw, your expression so soft San thought you might cry. “I want to show you how to share some of that love with yourself one day.”

San smiled up at you, his eyes full of so much adoration for you, it threatened to spill out of him, his fingers running through your hair. “You showed me, Y/N. Through it all, behind every word, every action, I still saw it there. That’s why I put myself first and confessed to you.” He smiled softly, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “I’m…not nearly as put together as I seem. I just love you so much, it makes me want to be strong. For you. And…for me.”

You didn’t realize you were crying too until you saw your teardrops land on his face and slide down his cheek, wondering if your icy heart had finally melted, and that was why there were so many tears escaping from your blurry eyes. “Oh, San, my sweet San, I’ll be here to watch you grow, I promise,” you murmured, hugging onto him and laying back down to rest your head on his chest, gently rolling the ring around your finger.

San’s hand came up from underneath the blanket to rest on top of yours. He squeezed your hand and you squeezed right back. “Promise?”

“Promise,” you repeated softly, closing your eyes, your heart at peace. “As long as you promise to watch me too.”

San closed his eyes too, a few more happy tears dripping past his cheeks, squeezing you just a little tighter than before. San felt safe. Whole. “I’d love nothing more, Y/N.”

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2K notes · View notes

cas-skz · 1 year

Text

Behind Closed Doors: Skeleton Key part 3

Choi San x (fem)Reader feat Jung Wooyoung

New to the BCD series? Start Here!

Skeleton Key Part: 1 2

Series Summary: You and your Boss, San, have a rather interesting relationship. After a year of you being his favourite Hostess at a local club, he becomes your senior at your office, and now your boyfriend. Your relationship is going smoothly, that is until an old love reemerges into your life. You'll now need to balance work, your new love and your old love.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings/Tags: 18+, MDNI, Established Relationship, Unprotected Sex, Language.

Written by: @littleforeignaffairs

The work week went smoother than you expected. By Thursday afternoon you feel comfortable with having Wooyoung in the office. The tension seems to have lifted. Wooyoung spends less time focusing on you, and more time on the project he’s working on with San.

You walk into San’s office, carrying a late lunch for the three of you. The men are seated at the couch, papers scattered around. You tune out their voices, opening the meals before handing them off. San first. He offers you a thankful smile, returning his gaze back to papers. You then grab Wooyoung’s meal.

You sigh softly to yourself, noticing an error with his food. I’m pretty sure I said so cucumbers. Unconsciously, you begin removing the cucumbers before setting it in front of Wooyoung. He doesn’t look up from his work, but San had.

“How did you know that”

You freeze, mid squat. You furrow your brows in confusion, slowly seating yourself at the end of the couch.

“Know what?”

“Wooyoung hates cucumbers”

You look over to Woo, who’s full attention is on you now. You aimlessly stab the cucumbers you placed into your dish.

“He told me” You retort quickly, shoving some of the cucumbers into your mouth “He let me know after I ordered”

Wooyoung turns his attention to his food, avoiding your eyes and San’s. He plays with a piece of chicken before glancing up to San, who is staring him down. San leans forward, leaning his elbows on his knees. He drops his food on the table, causing it to spill out of the dish. You look between San and Wooyoung. The tension radiates off of San. You can see that he is skeptical, but you also wonder if you’re just being paranoid about the situation.

You take a piece of your sushi, placing it on the side of San’s plate. The three of you sit in silence still. The tension, beginning to feel just plain awkward. Wooyoung stands, excusing himself for a moment. You wish you thought of doing that first. You slide closer to San on the couch, placing a hand on his thigh.

“What's wrong? Why are you acting so strange?”

“Why are you?”

You pull your hand back, flinching at San’s words. They were sharp. You know now that you're not just being paranoid.

“Ever since Wooyoung started working with us, you-“ San pauses a minute before looking at you

“Both of you, actually, are acting really fucking weird”

You can’t help but feel like you’ve done something wrong. That San was scolding you. In a way, you did. Wooyoung did kiss you first, but you didn’t stop him right away. You look down at your hands in your lap, playing with your finger nails. The moment isn’t bad enough, Wooyoung’s timing is impeccable. He walks back into the office, sweets in hand.

You stand as he passes by, cleaning up the dishes and left overs from your partially eaten lunches. “I’ll get back to work” You murmur softly.

You rush to your desk before either man can say anything to you. You hang your head, leaning on your desk. A heavy puff of air leaves your lungs. That’s when you notice the brightly coloured package leaning against your monitor. The plastic crinkles as you pick it up. Chocolate covered peanuts.

You look up slowly, looking to Wooyoung. He’s focused on eating, but nodding along to whatever San is saying. He glances towards you, but you sit quickly, to avoid being seen by him. You stare at the candy in front of you. It's the same brand he would always buy for you whenever you were upset. You tear the package open slowly, pouring a few candies in your hand.

The candies roll in the palm of your hand. A sickly sweet smell travels up your nose when you bring a candy to your lips. You sigh, feeling guilty. You know San isn't stupid. You know he's fully aware that there is some sort of connection between you and Wooyoung. It's only a matter of time before he figures it out. Or Wooyoung tells him

* * *

The drive home feels uncomfortable, for you at least. San has been quiet since you got in. His eyes remain on the road, regardless of how many times you try to sneak a look at him. You purse your lips a little, giving in and staring out the window. The city feels so busy. Lights everywhere you look, and cars backed up from that after work traffic.

You sigh heavily, leaning your head on the window. The warmth of San's hand slips into yours. You look down at your hands together, then up to his face. A small smile pulls your lips, seeing him looking at you. Your chest tightens, though a feeling of relief swells.

“It’s been really stressful lately” San starts. His lips pout, turning his attention back to the road. You give his hand a gentle squeeze. “Having Woo around just brings me back to University too”

A sour taste coats your mouth. You swallow hard, your face becoming sullen. San opens his mouth to continue speaking, but instead, he chuckles a puff of air and shakes his head. You squeeze his hand again, slipping your fingers through his.

San silences again the rest of the drive to your home. You keep your hand in his, pulling it into your lap. Your free hand rests on top, running your thumb over his skin.

You both sit in the car in silence in front of your place. San pulls your hands in his lap now, fiddling with your fingers.

“San?” You murmur

“You know I see how he looks at you” Sans blurted words surprise you.

Despite knowing things have been a little awkward lately between you and each man, you didn’t expect him to come clean so easily.

You take one of your hands from his, placing it on his cheek. You scoot your body closer to him, turning his face to look at you. His eyes fill with sadness, concern. You scan over his face, your thumb gliding over the beauty marks on his cheek.

“But I don’t look at him. Definitely not how I look at you”

His cheeks flush pink as he forces a small laugh

“I know, I just… remember how he was”

If only you knew.

You touch your lips to San’s cheek, kissing his dimple softly. San rests his head on yours, his lips now pulled into a genuine smile.

“Come inside?”

With the new project with Wooyoung, San’s new position, your second job, everything has been hectic. Stressful, just like San said. Most nights you went to your own homes after work. San pulls back a little, looking at the clock on his dash.

“Right now?”

You roll your eyes, opening the car door

“No, Papi” Your voice dripping with sarcasm

You pause a moment, pressing your lips together. Your eyes cast down over San’s body. You smile slightly, stepping out of the car. You lean over, looking at him through the doorway.

“Cum inside” You say again, this time, quieter. Teasing. You smirk at him, running your tongue over your teeth before shutting the car door.

You turn, walking quickly to your front door. San is quick to follow. It didn’t take long before you heard the fumbling of his keys and car door behind you. You glance over your shoulder, seeing him hot on your trail. You squeal a laugh, unlocking your door as fast as you can.

San's body collides into yours, pushing you up against the wall inside your apartment. His hands grip your hips firmly, keeping you still. You watch his face slowly change from playful to lust. His hooded eyes take in your body. You place a hand on each pec before bringing them closer together to the center. You grab hold his tie, pulling his chest into you.

“Papi”

Your words are barely a whisper, lips close to San’s he can feel your breath. One hand slides down San’s body. Over his stomach. Over his belt, landing on his crotch. You run your hand over him, cocking a brow. You give him a gentle squeeze

“I’m waiting..”

San cups your face with both hands. You expect to be ravished, but his lips are tender. San is not eager, but he kisses you deeply. Your hands land at his waist, curling in the belt loops of his pants. San breathes in sharply through his nose, pulling you closer to him. His hands fall onto your behind, lifting you up onto his body. Your hands move up onto San’s neck, legs now wrapping around his waist, locking at your ankles.

The heat in your core grows, filling your body. San carries you to your bedroom, one of his hands slipping underneath the back of your blouse. His fingers squeeze at the hooks of your bra, unclasping it with ease. As he sets you down on the bed, you keep your legs tight around his waist, pulling him down on top of you. A gentle moan leaves his lips when his growing erection pushes into you.

Your stomach knots with his sounds. You push your hands between your bodies, pulling at San’s belt. He lifts up his hips, his own hands sliding your skirt up higher on your hips and your panties down. You slip San’s pants down just enough for his erection to pop out. San rests his forehead onto yours, licking his lips with anticipation. He props himself up with one arm, the other locking his elbow with your knee.

San touches the tip of his head against your opening. Your walls clench eagerly, waiting to be filled. A quiet whimper passes your lips

“San. Please” Your words are hushed. Breathless.

San slings your leg over his shoulder, pushing his cock inside you. You arch your back, body stretching out under San’s. Your walls tighten around his length, rendering an elongated groan deep within his chest.

“Fuck” San growls. He pulls his body up higher on the bed, lifting your hips up off the mattress. His hips roll slowly at first, making sure his thrusts are full strides.

It’s been a while since you and San have been able to have any form of sexual activity. His cock throbs with each thrust, filling you, stretching you. You wrap your leg over San’s waist, rocking your hips with his movements. The added leverage pushes San deeper inside you. You can already feel the wetness dripping down your skin.

You grab San’s face, kissing him hungrily. His lips work with yours matching your passion. San searches for your hands. He grips them tightly, fingers laced through yours. San pushes your hands down onto the bed, landing on either side of your head.

He breaks the kiss, making eye contact with you instead. His eyes are heavy, lips parted with loud breaths passing through them. Your eyes scan rapidly over San's face. He always looks attractive in your eyes, but there's something about how vulnerable he looks to you right now on top of you.

San's skin glistens with a light layer of sweat. His eyes are dark, yet soft and they only focus on you. You squeeze his hands, raising your head up to reach his lips. San, instead, nudges your head to the side, burying his face in your neck.

You moan softly as San sucks at your skin. The sensation sends a shiver through your body, making you clench around San. The additional tightness thickens San inside you. A sudden animalistic grunt comes from San. He quickens his thrusts, his movements becoming sloppy.

You sigh a high pitched moan, San hitting your soft spot. Your leg shakes on top of San's shoulder, the pleasure rising fast. You close your eyes, squeezing them shut. San lets go of one hand, slipping underneath your ass to lift you up.

"Please" You moan out, louder than you intended. Your leg around San tightens, pulling him harder into your hips. "I want to cum, Sannie. Please"

Your voice is begging. Your hand hits San's back, nails digging into his skin. You ache, contracting around San, grasping onto him in every possible way you can. San gives your ass a teasing slap, cursing at your desperation. Your toes curl at the slight sting on your skin.

"I'm cumming" San grunts.

It wasn't much of a warning for you. Before San could get his next thrust into you, his cock starts pulsating. His grunts are harsh, his hips hitting into you matching the intensity. You can't help but whimper, finally feeling his release, pushing you into yours.

San grabs your face with one hand under your chin. His parted lips touch yours, but he doesn't kiss you. You can feel his body shake on top of you. You slide your hand up his back into his hair. You push his head down, making him kiss you. San moans on your lips.

You grind your hips into his, riding out your orgasm. San squeezes your ass, helping you move against him. Both your movements slow, both bodies beginning to relax. San melts into you, letting his weight fall. He keeps his lips on yours, kissing you tenderly.

You jerk a little with a post orgasm pleasure. San chuckles quietly, taking his lips off yours. He pets your hair back, looking down at your face. He looks exhausted. His hair stuck to his forehead, face flushed with sweat. You laugh a little with him, realizing you probably look just as fucked as he does.

San carefully slides off you, resting at your side. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his body. Both your clothes bunched up between your sticky bodies, but you couldn't care less. Its a small price to pay.

106 notes · View notes

daemour · 14 days

Text

Pairing: roommate! San x f! yn

Word Count: 10,664

Warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption, smut warnings under cut

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut, f2l au, college au, M for mature audiences

Summary: As the resident fuckboy San's best friend, you're legally obligated to be his hype man. It's only fitting as you're one of the few who can resist his boyish charms. But when he's set his sights on someone you cannot stand, perhaps you need to dig a bit deeper into your feelings after all.

Smut Warnings: masturbation (f), voyeurism, sexual fantasies, oral (f), missionary, protected sex, very slight breast play, overstimulation, cowgirl, some cumplay, dirty dirty talk, fingering, slight body worship ig?, praise, I literally have no idea I wrote it at a time when I should've been in bed so lmk if I missed anything

this is for the jackson wang party fic collab finished with @mingsolo (hella good) @flurrys-creativity (Pygalgia, Effervescent, and Abience) and @sanjoongie (trouble) <3 I still have one more to go but we'll ignore that LMAOOOOO I added too much plot :') flurry was a dear and helped me sort out my thoughts and I managed to write 8k of it in one day lol.

hope u all enjoy and sorry I'm a professional yapper there's no shutting me up

“Going out again?” you ask your best friend and flatmate, San, as he walks past where you’re seated at the kitchen counter, suffering through your essays.

“Yep,” San answers easily, popping the ‘p’ and leaning over to take a peek at your laptop screen. “You misspelt ‘dextrorotatory’, you wrote it as ‘dexrotatory’.”

As your eyes find the typo, you groan and plant your head on the table. “I give up,” you declare dramatically, “I’ll drop out and become a taxi driver.”

San laughs. “First of all, you can’t drive that well. Second of all, you’d make more money as a stripper.” He dodges your smack with ease. “Third, you’re smart and you’ll ace these like always. You’re just a little mentally constipated. Why don’t you join me tonight?”

You think about it for a minute. While you probably do need a break from staring at your laptop, you know how wild the parties San goes to can get from personal experience. And you don’t think it’s a good idea when it's the end of your semester and the final year of your master's program. You just can’t afford to do that. “I’ll pass this time,” you sigh. “Maybe after exam season.”

San hums. “All right. Make sure to take a break, though,” he reminds you, dropping a quick kiss on the top of your head. “See you later.”

He soon disappears out of the door and you turn your focus away from your best friend to your homework. You feel bad for whoever his new conquest will be at the party.

In your opinion, it’s best to keep San at arm’s length when it comes to a romantic relationship. Not that you like him, but you also don’t want to be another notch on his bedpost, and you most certainly do not want to ruin your eight-year-long friendship. It’s not hard to see that San isn’t interested in a long relationship, not right now at least.

You honestly find it amusing that so many girls and guys still throw themselves at him and then get upset when he doesn’t give them a second glance after the initial night. His reputation precedes him, especially in your small town, and yet there will always be a line out the door for him. You don’t even know how he knows so many people.

With a sigh, you clear out your thoughts and refocus on your organic chemistry work. You’re lucky your job offered to pay for your master's classes, but the workload is killing you inside. You’re incredibly happy you’re almost done, and with newfound motivation, you hunker down and start writing out your notes again.

It’s almost two in the morning when you finally yawn and start putting your books away, and it’s almost three when you hear the front door open and the sound of San stumbling into the shoe rack as he always does. “You’re home already, Sanah?”

“YN!” San stumbles his way into the bathroom where you’re combing your hair, wrapping his arms around you and tucking his flushed face into your neck. “You’re still up?”

You laugh, tapping him on the head with your brush. “Yes, but I’m about to go to bed. And you should too, you know.”

San groans, his hold on your waist tightening and his words slurring together. “I don’t wanna,” he whines, “the bed's too cold.”

You sigh fondly. This happens almost every time he drinks, and usually, that’s why he doesn’t drink too much when he’s by himself. He gets too cuddly with people and you’re usually the one to keep him from bedding everyone he sees. You suppose he somehow didn’t end up with anyone in bed and he’s disappointed now. “Do you think you’ll ever ask to sleep with me nicely, or will you just settle for wrestle-cuddling me into my own bed?” you ask, rolling your eyes as San does not answer, just pulling you towards your room. “There’s my answer.”

You’re too used to his drunk antics and just let him move you around. It’s comforting in a way, that he’s comfortable enough around you to do this with you, and it makes your heart warm whenever he throws his arm around you and presses his face in your neck.

You’d never admit it, but it’s nights like this when you sleep the best. With his warm breath tickling your neck, you let your body relax and your eyes flutter shut.

“God, I’ve got a raging headache,” San groans when he sees you enter the kitchen with a mess of bed hair. “I went so crazy with the soju last night, I think I’m going to die.”

You laugh, reaching for the pot to make some oatmeal for him. “Don’t be so dramatic. Why did you even drink so much anyway? No bitches?”

San snorts but immediately whines from the sharp pain that probably shot through his skull. “You’re so mean to me! No, I got no bitches, but that was from my own choice anyway. I don’t want to fuck around anymore.”

Both your eyebrows raise into your hairline. “No? What changed things, hm? Finally decided your one true love is Byeol?” As if on cue, your shared cat meows and curls around your ankles, and you bend down to scratch behind her ears.

“Never had to decide that, we all know she’s the real number one in my life. No, I think I’m interested in someone.” You stop your petting of Byeol, who meows in protest and runs off to pout somewhere. “Come on, don’t act like you just saw a ghost.”

“Who?” is the only question that comes out of your mouth. Of course, San has had a crush before, but he’s never stopped screwing around unless he was actively dating that person. He’s a fuckboy, but he’s not a piece of shit at least. This is new.

“Lee Yeseul. I met her yesterday at the party, and she’s so sweet. She was so out of place at the party, and not in a mean way. She just…has such an aura around her.” San’s voice is soft even just talking about her and you get the feeling he’s being serious. “We’re meeting up for coffee today.”

“That’s…amazing, Sanah. I really hope it goes well for you,” you smile at him, pushing a bowl of oatmeal over to him. “Don’t forget to let me make a speech at your wedding.”

San chuckles, rolling his eyes at your jokes. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t you have study group today? Go there and stop bothering me.”

You ruffle his messy hair before planting a kiss on it and pinching his cheek. He blindly reaches around to smack at you but you dodge him easily, laughing as you head out to grab your keys. “See you later, Sanah. Have a good da-ate.”

San grumbles at you but ultimately returns to his food. You think you can hear him muttering about you being a pain in the ass and you smile to yourself. You don’t have the heart to tell him you know Lee Yeseul…and she’s a major bitch. You sincerely hope she’s sweet to San at least—he deserves the best. But you find her absolutely draining, especially with how often she talks about herself and doesn’t pay attention to anyone else ever. If she cries in your class one more time you think you might smack her yourself.

You still remember the time you had gotten a call that your grandfather had died, and after overhearing your conversation, instead of comforting you, she started talking about how “so many of my family members died in the past ten years.” Sure, maybe she was trying, but you’ve known about her antics enough that it was clear she just wanted to make it about her.

But if San likes her, who are you to interfere? He has a pretty good eye for who has a good personality so maybe Yeseul has changed. You’re not one to stop him. Not that you ever could. When he first started going out to party, you would tag along to make sure he wouldn’t make any bad decisions, but your efforts seldom paid off. You’re pretty sure he must be blessed since he somehow hadn’t pissed off anyone majorly enough to have them call a hit on him.

Shaking your head, you rid yourself of these thoughts and go to the library. There’s no use dwelling on it, the more you think about it, the worse your feeling about his crush on Yeseul gets. He’s a grown man, he doesn’t need you to parent him.

“Woah, who pissed in your cereal?” You should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to hide your bad mood from your study buddy, Hongjoong. Although you only see him for studying, you’re confident enough to call him your closest friend other than San. “Are you okay?”

You sigh, dropping your books on the table. It earns you a harsh ‘shh’ from the librarian which you apologise half-heartedly for. “Do you remember Yeseul? Lee Yeseul?”

Hongjoong’s brows raise high into his hairline. “The professional bitcher? What did she do now?”

“San’s into her, and with her personality, she’s probably loving the attention from the professional heartbreaker.” You groan, glaring at the cover of your organic chemistry textbook. “It’s none of my business if he cares for her, but damn, I wish he could’ve picked anyone else.”

Hongjoong hums, leaning forward and poking at the top of your head. “Look, you’ve been his friend for years. I think you have a bit more of a reason to poke your nose into his business than most. Give it a few weeks, and if it truly bothers you, then you can bring it up to San.”

You sigh. “Maybe.” You say nothing else on the topic and Hongjoong knows not to broach it anymore. Sometimes you wish he wasn’t so smart.

“YN, I didn’t know you knew Yeseul!” is the first thing San says to you one week after he returns from one of his many dates with her. “When I mentioned you being my roommate she told me you were in the same class as her.”

You wince to yourself as you take a long swig of your coffee. “Mmh, I didn’t think it was that relevant,” you say. You can practically hear Hongjoong rolling his eyes at your excuse. You know you should tell him your qualms about Yeseul, especially since the gross feeling in your gut has only gotten stronger. But you’re not sure you want to tread those waters. San’s sweet, but he’s loyal to a fault and probably wouldn’t like you talking badly about Yeseul.

San narrows his eyes, clearly suspicious but not willing to pry. “Well, maybe if we ever find you a date, we can go on a double date.” He moves on pretty quickly, though, walking over to lean over your shoulder and look at your laptop. “Still going on that paper?”

You hum, cracking your knuckles. “Yeah, it’s due tomorrow so I need to pump it out today and then get Hongjoong to look it over.” You lean back, letting your head rest on San’s torso as you yawn. “I can’t wait for this to be over so that I can graduate already.”

San laughs, leaning down to rest his chin on your head. “You’re smart. You can do this. And when you’re done, I’ll take you to a party and we can celebrate.”

You groan, shifting forward and putting your hands back on the keyboard. “Well, in that case, I should get back to writing this.” As you start typing again, you hear the buzzer ring and the warmth of San’s body leaves you as he goes to check who it is.

“Oh, hey, Yeseul! Come on up!” Your eyebrows raise into your hairline and your head snaps up. Why would Yeseul go to all this trouble of coming here? Didn’t they just see each other?

You close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths before facing the dragon herself. You can hear the tell-tale sound of her voice pitched up to sound more sweet, although it’s grown to be grating on your ears. “Hi, Sannie,” she purrs and you have to refrain from retching. “I was on my way home but I realised it went right by your apartment so I figured I could come say hi. It doesn’t look like you’re too busy, right?”

“No, not at all,” San replies, and you hate how sweetly he talks to her. “YN is in too, she’s writing her final paper. Wanna say hi? She could probably use the distraction.”

No, I don’t need the distraction, is what you want to scream out, but your mother did not raise you like that although you wish she did. Instead, you just smile politely at the girl entering your kitchen. “Hello, Yeseul. Good to see you again.”

“Hey, YNie!” Her cheery nickname for you has your eye twitching. “How’s the paper going? I finished mine a few weeks ago so I’m home free. Just need to submit it.”

“That’s great, Yeseul,” you say, tone slightly more monotonous than you wanted it to be and San shoots you a look. “Hopefully you get a good grade on it.”

“Hey, would you want to join us for dinner?” San cuts in and you can already feel a headache starting to pulse behind your eyes. “I was going to order pizza since it’s my turn today and I’m not nearly as good of a cook as YN.”

“Oh, that would be lovely! I don’t mind whatever toppings,” Yeseul claps happily. The urge to punch her in the face increases bit by bit for you. San nods happily, stepping out into the living room to place the call. After a moment, Yeseul turns to you with puppy eyes and you brace yourself for whatever she has up her sleeve. “Could I trouble you for a glass of water, YNie?”

You try your best to keep your composure as you get up to fetch her a glass of water. She takes it without even a thank you and you decide you’d much rather die than deal with her any longer so you close your laptop with a sigh. “I’m actually meeting with a friend for dinner, but you definitely should stay and have fun,” you say, smiling as plausibly as you can. You do not have dinner plans but you’re sure you can figure it out.

When you go into your room, you’re drawing blanks. You’re still going out, but you’ll probably just end up calling a friend to complain. As you leave the room and grab your keys, San meets eyes with you and frowns. “Where are you going?”

“Ah, I promised to have dinner with a friend so I’m heading out. Enjoy your time with Yeseul, though.”

The furrow between San’s brows deepens. “But I already ordered the pizza.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “I can bring the leftovers tomorrow for lunch. Sorry, I just forgot to tell you, but I really have to go now. Bye!” Before he can say goodbye as well, you slip out the door. The suffocating feeling that is encompassing you lifts and you sigh in relief, but then you somehow feel worse at the idea of San and Yeseul having fun and giggling and cuddling.

You shake your head again, trying to clear your muddled thoughts before setting down to go find your dinner. Fast food was the easiest option, and you figured you could at least sit in your car and wallow in self-pity.

After you receive your order you park and pull out your phone, scrolling through your contacts. You don’t want to call your family because as much as you love them, they can be a bit over-protective and probably will offer to help you find a different apartment and that would be a bit dramatic. In the end, Hongjoong is probably the next best option.

He doesn't pick up immediately, and you’re just about to hang up when the phone crackles and Hongjoong’s voice comes through. “Why are you calling me?”

You can’t help but bark out a laugh at his disgruntled tone. “Hongjoong, it’s a perfectly reasonable hour to call, don’t blame me for your shit sleeping schedule. Are you actually free though?”

Hongjoong sighs and if you focus you can hear the sound of him rolling over in bed. “What’s up?”

“It’s about Yeseul again. She came around today, and it was just…so suffocating. Like, why did San have to pick her? There’s so many girls, and out of them all he picks her? The most bitchy one I know?”

Hongjoong hums. “Why does it annoy you so much?”

You groan, leaning your head back and taking a long sip of your drink. “She’s self-centred, bitchy, and she’s just so fake. I don’t think this relationship will end well, Joong. Clearly he’s just blinded and she’s so manipulative.”

“But why are you so bothered by this specifically? I mean, sure we’ve had bad interactions with Yeseul, but you’re pretty nonchalant about the shit San gets up to and you like to let him deal with the consequences himself.”

You frown glaring at the phone although you know he can’t see it and you pop a fry into your mouth. “I don’t know. It just feels different. I feel like I should interfere this time. I mean, he’s a lot more serious this go around.”

Hongjoong hums, rolling once again as he yawns. “YN, be totally honest with me. This is a shot in the dark, but I think this is pretty important.” You hold your breath in anticipation. “Do you like San?”

“Oh sure, he’s a good friend–”

“You and I both know that’s not what I meant.” You bite your lip, stiffening in your chair. “YN, you need to be honest with yourself. The way you talk about San, you interact with him, it’s not how just roommates, just friends interact. You kiss each other's heads, YN. And it can be platonic, but I’ve rarely seen San do that to his female friends, and I’ve never seen you do that, period. You don’t even kiss me.” His voice turns teasing on the last bit but you’re too shocked to register.

Do you like San? You love him like a friend, of course. But when you think about him being with anyone else, even if it wasn’t Yeseul, something in you aches. When you think about San’s smile being directed to anyone else, you can feel a burning in your gut. The answer is clear, whether you like it or not.

“I…yes. I do.” The confession comes out quietly. “But I don’t want to do anything about it. Like you said, it’s up to San whether he likes Yeseul enough. I can’t interfere.”

You can practically hear the look Hongjoong would be levelling at you. “Why not?”

You shrug. “When San likes someone, nothing can stop him from liking someone unless he wants to. I’ll just let it run its course and hopefully my own feelings will vanish in the process.”

“That doesn’t sound very healthy, YN.”

You let out a despondent laugh. “Sure, probably not. But who knows? Maybe I can find someone else in the process.” You let out a sigh before glancing at your now-cold sandwich. “I gotta head out, but thanks for talking, Joong. I’ll see you in class.”

Hongjoong can barely say goodbye before you hang up the phone and lean back. This is going to be difficult. The more you see Yeseul, the more you know you’ll accidentally slip up and something will tip her and San off. Your headache is pulsing behind your eyes and you take a small bite of your sandwich, your appetite diminishing. You miss being a child and your biggest worry is that San sneezed on your lollipop.

With another groan, you wrap up the sandwich and just go for a late-night drive instead to clear your head. It’s something that has never failed to calm you down and keep your mind level. San always berates you for driving alone at night, but you’d like to say you’re pretty safe. Plus, even he has agreed that it’s pretty calming when—you frown, forcing thoughts of San to leave your brain.

You don’t really know how long you’ve been out, but it’s surely long enough that Yeseul has left. As you carefully open the door, there’s a long silence, and you sigh, happy you made it home free. But as you’re about to call out for San, you hear a high-pitched moan come from his bedroom. And it certainly is not San.

You almost turn tail and head right back out of the apartment when you hear San’s reverberating moans fill the house. Against your better judgment, you take off your shoes and step closer towards his bedroom. His bedroom door is cracked open and curse him for putting his mirror right in view where you can see him leaning back on his bed, his lower half hidden off the edge of it and you can only see Yeseul’s knees.

And in your head, you know it’s wrong. But your heart is beating out of your chest and you can feel heat building in your core. And, well, you’ve always worn your heart on your sleeve. You keep yourself pressed against the wall, staring at the way the muscles in San’s neck strain and the way he moans with every snap of his hips. You’re sure your panties are soaked through by now, and your teeth sink into your lower lip to keep yourself quiet. The taste of copper enters your mouth but you couldn’t care less.

It’s only when San sits up, probably to fuck into Yeseul better and he disappears from the mirror that you rip yourself away and escape into your own room. Not another thought enters your brain as you strip your leggings and underwear off, flopping on your bed and closing your eyes as you let your hand trail down to press against your slick pussy. It doesn’t take long for you to sink your fingers into your sopping cunt, turning your head to bury your face into your pillow.

The guilt in the back of your mind is quickly sent away as you imagine San’s hands fucking you instead. He’s always had well-worn hands, and your brain fogs up as you imagine him leaning forward to mouth at your neck as he fucks you.

Your brain flips back and forth between the idea of him eating you out so well and fucking so many loads into you with his thick cock that your stomach swells and you whimper into your pillow as your core tightens and you come onto your fingers. You feel tears prick your eyes as you get up to wipe your hands of the cream coating your fingers and toss the tissue in the trash. You’re not sure how you’ll be able to face San or Yeseul again after that.

You can feel the shame burning inside of you and you close your eyes and cry yourself to sleep silently.

Waking up is disorienting, your eyes red-rimmed and your bottom lip raw and blood dried on it. You feel like death and you’re pretty sure you can’t attend class like this. You lean over and grab your phone, yawning as you send your professor a text with a weak excuse. You don’t really care how plausible it is, Professor Jeong usually is quite understanding so you don’t worry about that for too long. San had texted you an hour ago, asking if you had come home, and you choose not to answer it.

You can hear mumbling in the other room, probably Yeseul and San sharing goodbyes, when you hear the door shut behind her. Unlike you, she’s probably happy to go to class and tell all her friends about her night with the campus fuckboy.

It takes another thirty minutes for you to finally roll out of bed and put some lotion on your face, hoping for the traces of the questionable night you had to erase from your face. Once you’re satisfied with your appearance, you venture out into your living room where San is standing by the door. “When did you get back?” he asks without even turning around. “I texted you like, an hour ago.”

You shrug, avoiding his eyes as you move into the kitchen to find breakfast. “I only just woke up, San.”

Your roommate gives a short huff, following close behind you. “Don’t you have class? Yeseul just left so you could walk with her.”

You try not to roll your eyes at the idea of that. “I’m not feeling well so I don’t think I’ll go.” “You’re not feeling well?” San’s voice deepens in concern and as you grab a yoghurt, he places his hand atop your forehead. “You are feeling pretty warm.”

At his touch, too many memories of last night flood through your brain and you shake away his hand. “Yeah. I’ll just go lie down for a little. Have a good day.”

Before he can say anything else, or realise your suspicious behaviour, you dodge past him and head off back into your room to hide. “I left your pizza in the fridge,” he calls after you and you just grunt in thanks before barricading yourself in your room.

You lean against the door for a minute before you realise you didn’t even grab a spoon. Unwilling to go back out there, you’ve resigned yourself to licking it out of the container like a cat when you hear a gentle knock at the door.

“I got you a spoon,” San’s unsure voice filters through the wooden door, and you squeeze your eyes shut.

“Thanks, San,” you murmur, turning to open the door a crack and take the proffered utensil. “Sorry for being short with you.”

His lips quirk into a half-smile, a silent acceptance of your apology. “I get it. Just get some rest, YN.”

You close the door again, this time a warm heart in your chest mixing with the guilt you still feel in your gut. You’re not sure how on earth you’re going to get over your feelings for San.

Avoiding San goes well for the most part. You are in your finals week anyway, and you’re spending most of your time at the library or in class. Your college’s library stays open for 24 hours during the last week of school anyways so some nights you’ve just been staying there until morning. Hongjoong disapproves heavily but doesn’t say much about it and you appreciate his support either way.

Avoiding Yeseul proves much harder. She seems to always find her way to wherever you happen to be, interrupting you and Hongjoong’s study sessions with a perfect smile and narrowed eyes. You don’t know what she wants from you, and you aren’t pleased with her presence.

But one evening, you’re about to leave the library to have some dinner when she corners you. “YN, let’s talk,” she says in that sickeningly saccharine voice of hers, looping her arm into yours and pulling you down the street. “I have some things to ask you.”

Unwilling, you try to tug your arm out of her grasp, but the girl is stronger than you expected. She pulls you all the way to her dorm on campus, sitting you down on her leather couch. “What is your relationship with Choi San?”

Her question comes so suddenly you need a minute to register. To her credit, Yeseul waits patiently for you to gather your thoughts. “He’s my friend and roommate?” you say as truthfully as you can muster, although you know it’s an absolute lie, and judging from her expression, Yeseul doesn’t believe you either.

“Don’t take me as a fool, YN. The way he talks about you is undeniable.”

“That seems like something you should be talking to him about,” you say, attempting to get up from the couch but Yeseul just pushes you back down.

“I’ve tried. He just tells me there’s nothing to worry about and I don’t believe that,” Yeseul grits through her teeth.

And you have to give it to her. She did try to come to San about her worries. But the way she refuses to trust him grates on your nerves. He stopped his fuckboy activities to be with her, and yet she’s worried about you, one of the few girls who isn’t all over him at any moment. You arch a brow. “Do you not trust him?”

Yseul scoffs. “Of course not. He’s a fuckboy. But I like the status I get with him. I just don’t want to end up embarrassed.”

Well, that will be inevitable, you can’t help but think to yourself. No matter how much your relationship with San is strained, you’re not about to let Yeseul talk shit about him like he isn’t genuinely trying for her.

“That’s where you come into play,” Yeseul’s smirk turns sharp. “I’m going to call San. Ask him to choose between us. If he chooses you, then I want you to stay far, far away from him.”

You shrug. No matter the outcome, it’s not like you’re not already keeping your distance from San. In the end, you’ll just tell him to break up with her and let him deal with the chaos himself. “Go ahead,” bitch.

San picks up on the first ring. “Yeseul?” He’s cheery and your heart aches at the thought of Yeseul breaking his so easily. “What’s the occasion?”

“Hey, babe, I just have a quick question, and I need you to answer truthfully for me, okay?” At his pause, she takes that as a go-ahead. “Who would you pick? Me or YN.”

There’s a long silence on the phone. “Yeseul, we need to break up.”

Only one thing unites you and Yeseul in this moment, and it’s your shared confusion for San’s reaction. “What do you mean?” her voice turns panicked. “Isn’t that a little far?”

“You’ve been stuck on this, and I don’t know how much I have to reassure you, Yeseul. I haven’t even seen YN for the past two weeks. And she’s my closest friend. I’m not dropping her for a two-week relationship. I hope you have a good time, Yeseul.”

Before you can react at all, Yeseul screeches and points an accusing finger at you. “This is all your fault, YN!”

Your jaw drops at her absolute audacity. “My fault? What are you on? I was just trying to live peacefully when you dragged me into this plot ignoring my advice. I told you to talk to him, to just fucking trust him. God, you’re an idiot. And I’m going home.”

Without another word, you leave, still fuming over that interaction. Couldn’t she just have made the call without you? You’re happy you don’t have to do all the convincing for San to leave her, but that just complicates things for you. Would he really so easily drop Yeseul just for you? From what you’ve heard, he was practically head over heels for her.

With another sigh, you head back to the library. You need to finish that exam.

“Pens down, and turn in your exams,” you hear the professor call, and you don’t think you’ve ever gotten up so fast. You’re so, so fucking happy that you’ve finished your last year and now you’re free.

As soon as your professor accepts your paper you race out of the lecture hall, only stopped by the cafeteria when you hear someone call your name. Lee Juyeon, someone you’ve started growing closer to, waves you down. “Hey, YN, congrats on finishing!” he smiles at you and you can’t help but smile back, the giddiness contagious.

“Thanks! You too,” you say, pulling him into a hug. “It’s so nice to be done.” Practically nothing could dampen your mood, especially seeing Juyeon. He’s sweet, and you have an inkling he likes you. And you’re not opposed to it.

“It really is,” Juyeon agreed cheerfully. “Look, I have to go celebrate with my family, I just wanted to say hi. But hey…there’s this end of the year party on Saturday, and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”

And your suspicions were right. You think about it for a moment. You’re not the biggest party person, anyone knows that, but Juyeon is sweet and just what you need, so you accept eagerly. It doesn’t take long for the two of you to exchange numbers and for him to promise to send you more details before he runs off. And through your excitement, you know you still have to go meet with San who’s probably waiting for you just outside. He wanted to see you as soon as you finish your exams, and you didn’t have the heart to decline.

“Congratulations on finishing your last exam, YN!” San cheers as soon as you exit the college building. “I’m so proud of you!”

You’re too tired to complain when San sweeps you up into a hug, just letting yourself relax in his firm arms. After all this work, you think you’ll let yourself indulge in his affection. “Thanks, Sanah. I appreciate it.” You let your chin rest on his broad shoulder, closing your eyes and letting the exhaustion take over you. “Can I go to bed now?”

You hear him chuckle, the vibrations from his chest comforting you. “Yeah, yeah. We can celebrate later. Come on.”

He tugs you all the way to your apartment, dropping you on the couch and quickly curling right up next to you. You can’t bring yourself to care. “I’m proud of you,” he repeats into your hair as he tucks your head into his neck. Your eyes flutter shut.

When you reopen them, it’s bordering on evening. San is no longer wrapped around you, and you can hear him moving about in the kitchen. “San,” you call out, voice raspy from having just woken up. “What are you doing?”

“Ah, I’m making dinner,” he responds, his voice too warm for your liking, your heart beating just a little faster. “Come and eat.”

With a bit of difficulty, you rise from the couch and move to the kitchen, taking a seat at the counter. “Japchae? When did you learn how to cook this?”

San chuckles. “Wooyoung taught me the other day because he was bored. I figured it’d be a nice surprise for you after all your hard work.”

Your lips twitch, unsure if you should smile or pout. “That’s sweet. Thank you again, San.”

As you start eating the noodles (there’s a little too much sesame but you don’t have the heart to tell San that), San clears his throat. “So…I promised to take you to a party.”

You vaguely remember this conversation. “Ah, yeah. What did you have in mind?”

“There’s this end of the year party, it’s supposed to be the biggest one, hosted by Jackson Wang.”

“Ah–” you shake your head, eyes apologetic. “I promised someone else I’d go with them. I didn’t know that was the party you wanted to take me to. Maybe we can do something else on a different day?”

San’s lips turn downward the slightest bit. “That’s okay. There are other parties. Who invited you, by the way?” His tone is casual, and yet you still feel like you’re walking into the lion’s den.

“Ah, Lee Juyeon from college. I think he’s in Hongjoong’s philosophy department, but he’s a year behind. He’s cute so I figured I’d give it a try.”

“It’s a date?” Your brows furrow at the heaviness in San’s voice but you pay it no mind and nod. “I see. Well, have fun.”

The rest of the dinner is filled with silence, San picking at his food and you in no mood to try and dissect his mood. He takes your empty bowl and starts doing the dishes, and you mumble out a thank you before running back to your room. He’s clearly not willing to talk more and it’s best to give him space.

As you lay in bed, you can’t help but worry about what is so grating on his mind after you mentioned your date. You can’t think of anything that would cause him to be angry—as far as you’re aware he has no grudges against Lee Juyeon, much less met him. Shaking your head, you try and fall asleep. It’s best not to dwell on it, you can just ask him tomorrow.

It’s Saturday, and you’re in a foul mood. San hasn’t spoken to you in the four days leading up to the party, avoiding you like there’s no tomorrow. The only saving grace comes in the form of Juyeon’s excited texts, telling you all about his outfit for the party, and you respond with matching enthusiasm. When you meet with Juyeon in front of the large house where the party is held, the thought of San isn’t even on your mind. Instead, you just take Juyeon’s offered hand and follow him into the party.

You weave through the bodies, reaching the counter where shots are being passed around. “Want vodka or tequila?” Juyeon asks, his voice pitching higher to be heard over the bass. Without answering him, you just reach for the bottle of tequila, pouring the two of you shots. “Good choice,” Juyeon laughs, throwing his head back as he downs the alcohol, you following suit shortly.

“You know, I never pegged you for a college party fan,” you lean in, laughing. “Maybe I should hang out with you more.”

Juyeon chuckles, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Maybe you should. I know great party-throwers. Although I’ve heard you’ve been to your fair share, what being San’s friend and all.”

You shake your head, a smile on your face. “Maybe at first, but you know, organic chemistry isn’t an easy major to balance with a party life.”

Juyeon laughs loudly, bumping you with his hip. “I understand the pain. Philosophy falls into that category of majors too. Another shot?”

You take the second shot happily, letting the alcohol burn through your veins as you stumble alongside Juyeon’s wandering through the crowd. Whatever you’re doing is a blur, all you can focus on is Juyeon’s smile and his warm hand holding yours.

It feels like barely a moment has passed when Juyeon pulls you into a nearly empty room of couches, only a few other couples lingering in the corners. “I hope you’ve been enjoying yourself,” Juyeon starts, his eyes sparkling as he takes in your appearance. “It’s been fun hanging out.”

“I did too,” you agree with a small smile, looking up at him through your lashes.

He leans in, and you lean in, and your lips brush. It’s a sweet kiss, one that you lean into as Juyeon wraps his arms around your waist. It’s warm and you smile into it. And then a familiar face pops into your head. You wonder to yourself how San would kiss you, if he would do it as sweetly as Juyeon or if he would devour your lips like it was his last meal.

When Juyeon pulls away for air, you feel guilt burning in your stomach again. Why would you think of other men when Juyeon’s right here in front of you? As Juyeon leans in to kiss you again, you almost move back before a hand grips your shoulder and pulls you into a broad chest.

“Hey, man, I’m going to have to talk to YN if you don’t mind.” You’d recognise your best friend’s voice anywhere, and it only serves to fill you with annoyance. Sure, you weren’t as into Juyeon’s kisses as you expected, but it doesn’t mean you’re thrilled to be interrupted by the man who’s been ignoring you.

Juyeon takes one look at San, and something changes in his eyes. A mix of reluctance and acceptance, and with a short nod and smile towards you, he slips away from you. You turn to San, frowning at the sharpness in his narrowed eyes, not one you’re used to seeing or enjoy seeing. “Why would you kiss him?” he spits, and your annoyance grows with confusion being added to the mix.

“What do you mean, ‘why kiss him’? I told you, San, I was on a date. Why the fuck did you interrupt us?”

“I like you.” Those three words would be a dream for you to hear from his mouth…if you weren’t so pissed.

“No, fuck that. I do not need to hear that from you right now. Not when I was enjoying my night with Juyeon. What was confessing supposed to do for you, San? It’s too late now. I wanted to enjoy this party, and now I have to go apologise to Juyeon for you.” San opens his mouth to speak, but you shake your head, pushing him away from you.

You leave San standing by himself as you search for Juyeon, your mood immediately souring. Why would he fucking do this to you? You can feel tears burning your eyelids and you abandon your search for Juyeon, searching instead for some liquor to take away your embarrassment.

As you pour yourself another shot of tequila, you notice a familiar face, Hongjoong talking to a girl you recognise as someone he hangs out with sometimes. They look like they’re getting it on and you feel a little bad, but you need his advice. “Hey, Kim Hongjoong!” you call out to him, waving him over. Hongjoong’s eyes brighten and he makes his way over, leaving the girl staring after him longingly, but her attention is soon taken away by two other guys. You recognise one of them from the cafeteria but you don’t remember his name.

“Hey, YN, what’s up? I didn’t expect to see you here, did San take you?” Your face falls and Hongjoong realises he stepped into dangerous territory. “Okay, what happened?”

“I can’t believe San is mad at me for kissing someone at the party,” you groan after explaining to Hongjoong the events leading up to now. “Sure, maybe it wasn’t the best move on my part but he’s had like, twenty million one-night stands, and yet I can’t kiss someone else? He hasn’t even talked to me after I mentioned going on a date. And yet he looked positively murderous after he saw me kissing that other guy.”

Hongjoong tilts his head, confused. “Isn’t that what you wanted, though? You like him.”

“I did! I do! But I’m so sick of waiting around for him, and I could’ve had a chance at liking someone else. He’s all over the place, and I don’t know if that’s what I want in a man.” You’re lying to both Hongjoong and yourself, and Hongjoong knows it, raising an eyebrow.

“Honestly, YN, it just sounds like you need to talk to him.” Hongjoong crosses his arms, tapping his foot and eager to back to the girl was with, but also not wanting to ditch you in your time of need. You feel a little bad for pulling him away, but your mind is swirling with so many thoughts, you don’t know if you can sort them out by yourself and drinking to erase those thoughts is not something you like to do. You’re not San.

And speak of the devil, you smell his familiar cologne before his hand lands on your shoulder and pulls you into his chest. You whirl around out of his grip and glare at him. “Get off me,” you snap. “I’m in the middle of a conversation right now, Choi San.”

With one glance at Hongjoong, he raises his hands and winks at you. “Have that talk, YN. It’ll do you more good than harm.”

Oh, you’re going to kill that traitor after the party. You turn your attention back to San, your mouth twisted into a frown. “You make this quick or else.”

San has the decency to look a little ashamed as his eyes shake. “Can we talk on the patio? It’s too loud in here.”

With a dramatic sigh, you grab his wrist and pull him through the crowd to the back door, practically slamming it behind you. You can see the eyes of people interested in the drama through the windows but you pay it no mind. “Speak. You get five minutes before I go back in and you don’t talk to me again for the rest of the night.”

San’s face falls and his lips pull into a pout. But no matter how subconsciously adorable he is, you refuse to fall for his charms this time. The heat of anger is still curling in your gut when you think about the argument from earlier. “YN, come on, I had a good reason.”

You shake your head, ignoring the strands of hair that fall into your eyes. “No, San. Confessing to me is not a good reason to fuck up my night. You didn’t even apologise. You’ve been ignoring me for days after I mentioned my date, and the moment I kiss Juyeon you get all angry and jealous? Be for real.” You pause for breath, glaring daggers into his eyes. “You are not owed my time, especially after that shit you pulled. Yeseul’s jealousy is why you broke up with her, so why are you like this to me?”

San’s gaze intensifies and you can see him actively trying to reign in his temper. Although he does his best to remain calm, if tempers are rising, he can be intense. “YN, what was I supposed to do? Watch you go out with him? Watch you slip from my fingers just like that?”

“Yes!” you all but scream at him. “If I could sit by and let Yeseul take each little bit of your heart, you could’ve done the same! I was going to be happy, San! I wouldn’t have to sit behind and watch you from the sidelines with my heart slowly cracking. But I don’t get that same courtesy.”

You step forward, poking his chest with a finger as you let loose your storm of thoughts. In your anger, you don’t even notice San’s arm moving until it wraps around your waist and pulls you into him. The action shocks you enough that you stop mid-sentence, your finger still pressing into San’s flesh. “You love me?” San leans in, his nose brushing against yours.

You can feel heat flare up in your face as you stare wide-eyed at him. It takes you a moment to register your compromising position and you stumble back, pushing at his chest. “Don’t do that,” you hiss, turning your eyes away. “I don’t like you, San. Not anymore.”

“You’re lying.” San’s voice is firm. “Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don’t like me anymore.”

You don’t know where you got it from. You’ve never been good at lying, not to San. Maybe it was the alcohol burning through your system, mixing with the shame and anger you feel. But this time, you stare him directly in the eye and say the four words that might’ve been the biggest lie in your life. “I don’t like you.” San’s brows furrow and he shakes his head.

“No–”

“Yes, San. You cannot just waltz around and expect me to keep the patience I had for you. I’m sick of being pulled around like a puppet. Maybe at first you didn’t know. But refusing to give me space when I asked for it?” You shake your head, glancing back at the party. “I’m going back in. We can talk about the apartment lease later.”

Without glancing back, you re-enter the house. And maybe it hurts a little that he doesn’t go after you, but at this point, you’re too numb and all you want to do is go home and cry. But home is not an option, not when it would probably be the first place he would look for you. Fighting back the tears threatening to fall from your eyes, you slide into your car, staring blankly at the wheel for a long moment until you feel composed and sober enough to drive.

And drive you certainly do. You’re not quite sure where you’re going, and you’re plenty aware that this is a bad idea, but you just let yourself go around and calm yourself down first. The crisp breeze paired with the warm spring air does wonders to clear your head and paired with the late times, there are not too many cars out. It’s peaceful.

You’re not too sure how long you were out, but it’s long enough for the blurry memory of the argument to clear and you groan, pulling over to park by the side of the road and let your head hit the steering wheel. You went too far. San had always been the more emotional of you two, always wearing his heart on his sleeve. He must’ve had a hard time with Yeseul, and although it doesn’t excuse him, you never gave him a chance to properly apologise.

With a sigh, you check your phone to see five missed calls and twenty texts from San asking where you are. He somehow even got your neighbours (a sweet couple in their twenties who babysit Byeol sometimes) to ask you if you’re okay. As your finger hovers over the call button, debating whether to call him back, bright headlights shine behind your car and you stiffen. Your hand hovers over the pepper spray you keep in the dash as you press the call button in a panic. No matter what the disagreement was about, you know San would still come to your aid if you needed it.

“YN, open the door. I’ve been worried sick!” San’s voice crackles through the receiver and you spin around in your seat, squinting at the figure standing behind your car and your shoulders sag in relief.

“God, San, you scared the shit out of me!” you scold, leaning over to unlock the passenger seat and push the door open while hanging up the call. “Get in here.”

A haggard-looking San slides in, his eyes red-rimmed and mouth pressed into a thin line. The car that drove him turns and you look back in confusion before San starts explaining. “I wanted to give you space so I stayed at the party,” he starts explaining after a moment. “But I got worried and went to the apartment to find you. But you weren’t there, and I asked all your friends. I’m lucky you left your location on, and my friend gave me a ride.”

You wince. You forgot about turning off your location, although you’re glad you didn’t as it would’ve been more dangerous otherwise. “I’m sorry,” you mumble, turning your eyes to look out the windshield. “I just needed to clear my head so I went for a drive.”

There’s a long period of suffocating silence between the two of you when San finally speaks, his voice quiet. “I’m sorry,” he starts and your head snaps towards him, eyes wide. Of all the things you expected to fall from his lips, an apology is not one of those things. Not tonight, at least. “I was too pushy. I shouldn’t have ignored you, or interrupted your time with Juyeon. I should’ve talked to you like an adult.”

You laugh, resting your head on the steering wheel. “What an astute observation, San. However did you come to that conclusion?” Your exasperation is evident in your tone and San sucks in a breath at how done you seem. “Look, San. I’m sure you didn’t mean it to be that bad. But I’m just…tired. I’m tired of always wondering what is running through your mind, where I am in your list of importance. You date Yeseul, but break up with her over me. You give me the cold shoulder when I go on a date, but suddenly me being on a date is unacceptable. I just don’t know how to take anything.”

Against your will, tears start to drop onto your thighs, streaking down the skin and you sniff. “Shit,” San panics beside you. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He hands you a tissue and you take it with shaking hands, pressing your face into it as San tugs you closer, guiding you to lean against him.

He repeats soft little ‘sorry’s and leans his head atop yours, his tears falling onto your hair. The two of you stay in this position for a long while, no words are needed to understand the emotional moment.

“Let’s go home, YN,” San mumbles, his voice vibrating deep in your heart. “Let’s go home and we can talk tomorrow.”

You sniff again, tears run dry as you sit up and wipe your eyes. “Okay,” you whisper out. “Let’s go home.”

San stays attached to you throughout the drive home, his hand gripping onto your own hand whenever he can, and quickly wrapping you into a back hug as you walk up to the apartment. “I…cuddle with me tonight?” you ask, eyes flitting away from his face, missing the brilliant smile that spreads across it.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he hums, walking with you to his room, and he lets you slide in first, the smell of his detergent filling your mind and your eyelids flutter shut already. San crawls in next to you, pulling you close.

“Good night, YN,” San mumbles as your breathing evens out. As you drift off into sleep, you swear you feel his soft lips on your forehead but you dismiss it as wishful thinking.

When you reawaken, San’s still curled up, your body covered by his, his breathing slow and gentle. You can’t help but blink a couple of times to make sure it isn’t a dream when his arms tighten around your waist and he shifts. “YN?” His morning voice is as rough as always, rumbling low in his chest.

“Hey, Sanah,” you greet him quietly, leaning up to meet his eyes blinking slowly at you like a cat’s. “Good morning.”

“Hi.” He dips his head to nuzzle into your neck, breathing in your scent. “I should probably explain myself.” His voice vibrates against your neck and you giggle softly at the ticklish feeling.

“That would be nice.”

San huffs, but he can’t complain about your snark. “I like you, YN. I don’t know when I started to, and I definitely didn’t realise I did until I started dating Yeseul. I did like her, but not as deeply as I thought I did. It was so easy to break up with her as soon as she made me pick between you and her. The answer came to me without a doubt in my mind as soon as the question left her lips, and yet I still didn’t realise my true feelings.” He laughs self-deprecatingly, and you stroke his hair comfortingly. “I didn’t realise why I was so pissed about you going out with Juyeon, and that’s why I was avoiding you. It’s a stupid reason, I know. But I just didn’t know why, not until I saw you at the party kissing him. I just wanted to be there instead of you. And I’m sorry, and I understand if you don’t like me anymore, but–”

“I love you.”

His head snaps up to stare at you after your sudden declaration, and after he registers your words a smile spreads across his face. He puffs out a breathy chuckle and you know his answer before he even says it. “I love you too.”

His eyes shine like you’ve hung the stars in the skies, and when they flit down to your lips, you know an unspoken question when you see it. You lean forward slowly, letting your eyes close once more when your lips meet his.

And damn, you were right about how San kisses. In a second, he deepens the kiss, bringing his hands up to cup your face while his tongue swipes at your lips. Shyly, you part your lips and he dives right in, licking into your mouth and biting at your lips.

“Sanah,” you gasp into his mouth, the sound swallowed by his plush lips. “Sanah–”

You repeat his name like a prayer as his lips travel down to your neck, littering wet kisses and bite marks all over your sensitive skin. “Fuck, baby, you’re so sweet to me,” San moans against your body. “Please, please, let me treat you right, make it up to you. Let me worship you.”

You whine as he laves his tongue over your breasts spilling out of the crop top you had worn last night. Any other time you would’ve stressed at how gross the clothes were but right now you could hardly even think about it. “Fuck, yes, please,” you beg when San nips at your cleavage, leaving a mark.

“Ah, already begging for me,” San groans, his hips pressing into your legs. “You’re so perfect.” His voice grows whiney as his sucks on your nipples, making your back arch.

His kisses move down your body until his breath is ghosting over your stomach and his hands are pawing at your pants, shoving them down as quickly as he can. He doesn’t have the same amount of minimal patience for your panties, and before you can react, he’s ripped them off your legs. “Choi San!” you scold, shifting to try and sit up but his grip on your hips stops you from moving too far.

“I’ll buy you a new pair,” San promises before diving right in and sucking at your clit without another moment’s hesitation. Your hips jerk and your core tightens at the sudden feeling as you throw your head back and moan so loudly it’s bordering on a scream

His ministrations on your dripping cunt have you wordless. His fingers are pressing into your hip bones, the sensation making you squirm. As soon as his tongue breaches your clenching hole your hands fly down to grasp at his hair. “Fuck–” you squeal, your legs attempting to close but San just pushes them apart again, busying himself in your folds.

“Fuck, you taste so good,” San groans, the vibrations sending shivers up your spine as he lets his teeth scrape against your clit. You can hardly focus on anything at the barrage of sensations filling you up, San fucking his tongue into you so well. Your thighs are shaking as you can feel yourself grow wetter and wetter against his face.

When you tilt your head down, he meets your eyes as he moves one of his hands to push a finger into your hole. “Shit–” your grip on his hair tightens impossibly. “Sanah–”

“Come for me, love,” San groans, and you let the dam break, screaming out his name until your voice is hoarse, and San licks up your release through it all.

When he finally pulls away from your twitching and sensitive core, his lips are covered in your glistening slick, thick globs of it sitting pretty on his chin. Without thinking, you pull him down and crash your lips against his, tasting yourself on his tongue. San groans as you lick his face clean, shoving your tongue deep into his mouth.

“Fuck, I need to fuck you right now or else I think I might go insane,” San growls, blindly fumbling in his nightstand to pull out a condom as he shoves down his sweats to reveal his hard, red cock. Without another thought, he opens the pack with his teeth, rolling the latex down his length with ease thanks to the precum dribbling down it.

He lines up, the tip of it kissing your hole, when you groan. You’re much too impatient for this, reaching down and holding him steady as you shift your body to sink onto his thick cock. “Shit, YN,” San grits out as you take him deeper and deeper until your cunt kisses his crotch. “You’re too much.”

You pant, shifting on his cock as you try to get used to the stretch. He’s not the longest you’ve had, but he’s thick and the stretch is almost too much. “You’re fucking talking, you fill me up so fucking well, Sanah.” You hiss as you throw your head back, the stinging melting into pleasure. “Fuck me already, San. Or should I go and find Juyeon to–”

You’re cut off by San thrusting into you so violently that you swear the bed shakes. “I don’t want to hear that fucking name out of your mouth anymore,” San commands, leaning forward until his body weight pins you down and your eyes roll back as he starts fucking into you with short, quick thrusts.

With every movement, you feel like you may break apart. You can hear every slick sound, the sound of it obscene, and yet all you want is more. Your previous release coats his cock so well, thick strings of it attaching to his hips.

His arms wrap around your waist, and before you can protest or do anything, he hoists you up until you’re sitting in his lap. You swear this angle makes him impale you even deeper, his cockhead kissing the perfect spot deep inside you. Your head drops to San’s shoulder, moaning against the fabric of his shirt. “Fuck, San, you’re so deep,” you moan high-pitched. “You’re so fucking good for me.”

San growls, pressing a kiss behind your ear. “You’re so tight for me, so much better than Yeseul. I saw you in the mirror, you know,” he whispers conspiratorially and you gasp and clench, snapping your head to look at him. “You’re not as sneaky as you thought, love. Did you touch yourself to the thought of me fucking you so well?”

You whine, words failing you, and San’s hips slow to a stop. You try your best to grind against him but his hands grip your waist, keeping you still. “Please–” you try to beg but San chuckles and nips at your earlobe.

“Answer me, YN.”

“Fuck– Yes!” you cry out, so eager for him to start moving again. “Wanted you to fill me with your cum so well until it was spilling out of me. Please, please, please, fuck me.”

“Hm.” And without any warning, San jerks his hips up into you, biting into your neck like a fucking vampire and you scream, hips stuttering as you come on his cock. You don’t think you’re making any coherent noises, just babbling into his neck as your bones become jelly from the overstimulation.

If you thought the sounds were obscene before, you swear they’ve become ten times worse as you lay limp against San’s body. He’s moving you up and down his cock like a doll and you pant, squeezing your eyes shut as you still feel aftershocks from your orgasm.

“Shit, you’re so warm around me, I’m gonna come,” San moans in your ear, his rhythm breaking as he drops your weight on his cock. You can feel him twitching inside you as his teeth sink into your neck once more. “God, I want to fill you up so badly, but that’s just going to have to wait, my love.”

After a long moment, he pulls out, groaning at your come coating the condom and his thighs. Without thinking, he dips his fingers in the mess and brings it to his mouth, licking it off like it’s the most delicious thing in the world to him. “Come here, baby,” he says in that beautifully raspy voice, and you lean forward, meeting his lips in another kiss.

This kiss is sweet and soft, but the lingering taste of your shared releases still permeates your taste buds. You sigh, leaning your head against his shoulder as he lays against the wall with you in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he apologises again, pressing another kiss to the top of your head and it’s almost like he hadn’t fucked you like it was your last day on earth. “I won’t ever leave you again.”

You hum, turning your head to pepper kisses over his neck freckles. “I should be the one saying that. I love you, San. And I’ll always run to you with no hesitation.”

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