#clearly i have a thing albums that have a circle as the album cover

[lanfastonewin]

tagged by my beautiful @maiteo to post my fave albums so here’s a glimpse into my brain 🥰

meteora - linkin park / XOXO: from love & anxiety in real time - the maine / dopamine - normandie / the show - niall horan / all our gods have abandoned us - architects (favourite ever ever number one favourite forever) / the greatest mistake of my life - holding absence / fallen - evanescence / sempiternal - bring me the horizon / f.e.a.r. - stand atlantic

i tag @belteppismo @astronomical-light if u want to do it (i would like to see your music brains tho)

[mrsketchydude]

Cool detail I noticed about Tristamp's Vash's shoes/boots (+ the opening/intro animation)

we can clearly see here that the footprints we see before we see the anime's logo is the same sole pattern matching Vash's shoes, right? (I had picked up on this a while back but decided against posting it cause I figured people already picked up on this) It has a pretty unique/distinct look, right? So I was listening to the Trigun OST and was looking at this iconic album cover and realized something...

I was like "oh those boots have the same little two divets at the top like Tristamp Vash... wait-" THAT'S THE SAME FUCKING OUTSOLE He even has the weird gray thing on the bottom as well! You can even make out the circle divets in the center of the sole but its kind of hard to see on this album cover. I'M FLABBERGASTED??? Like DAMN I knew Orange did their homework but this is fucking crazy to me 😭

[starsomens]

Mother

I would like to request for a Noah x reader where they’re both friends who are pining for each other.

At one point they were talking about Noah’s hand tattoos and one thing led to another, they both realised the size difference between their hands and they both went 👀👀👀👀😳😳😳😳

MY CHILD!

"Honestly, I really want the next album to progress but I'm really glad the meeting was canceled this morning" Nick sighs as he leans back in his chair. They were currently visiting LA again after traveling. You had asked Noah if he was free to catch up for an hour or two like you all used to before their recent tour.

You had Known Nick for basically you're entire life and you were then introduced to Noah around your teen years. Of course you stuck around for their success, new members and their latest hit album and tour. You had even went on the first half of their tour with them.

“ oh yeah, did I tell you that Y/N is coming to visit after so long?” he informed his friend. “ she should be here pretty soon actually.”

“ oh, so are you gonna finally make your move?” Nicks Eyebrows danced at him,

“ come on, it’s just a meet up. We’re just gonna catch up.” Noah couldn’t help but play with his hands at his friend poking fun at him. Truth was you and him kind of had a little thing going on. A lot of people thought that you would’ve ended up together, but no one ever made a move. There were times where one of you was going to confess to the other, but chickened out last minute. Eventually, you both had kind of ignored it, and just kept being friends.

Oh, and he thought you would’ve felt too overwhelmed with his lifestyle and everything that was going on. You wouldn’t want to settle for someone who is always traveling doing work and writing, and thought it would scare you away. You were one of the most beautiful girls ever eyes and he thought You guys were dying to be with you and you would not settle for him.

You thought that you weren’t enough Noah was an uprising artist, along with the rest of the band, and you thought you were gonna just weigh them down. It didn’t help that Noah was very handsome and it honestly intimidated you into feeling as if you were not pretty enough for him.

Everyone else around you thought you would’ve made a great couple. They found both funny and annoying how long it’s taking you both to realize that you have feelings for one another.

“ I’m telling you you guys guys are running in circles. She clearly likes you and you definitely like her just make your move.”

“ we’ve been over this. I’ve already said it if it-“

“-was meant to happen you wouldn’t feel a certain way when you try to talk to her. I know you say that every time how about you just make a move I promise you dude it is going to work.”

Just before Noah could answer his doorbell ring

“ speaking of the devil herself, there she” side, feeling more anxious than he was before, since the conversation was brought up

“ make your move. This might be your last chance.” And Nick hung up the call, and Noah was face with his fears on his own. He feels his ears, lungs as he pushes himself from his desk and goes to answer the door.

Why am I nervous? She’s just a friend…. It’s not like she would want to be more than that….. even if I wanted it to be

He thought himself as he started to unlock the door. They did you who he would consider one of his best friends but also his secret love. He just wish that he could tell you that.

“ long time no see” you smile up at him just like you used to. How he missed that smile. The way your eyes would slightly squint and how your smile can brighten up any dark day. Oh, how he wished you were his so he could hold you and kiss you and stare at you all day long. Was that weird for him to think about?

“ the same to you look at you really covered in tattoos now” he teased you only seeing about three of them on your arm

“ says the one covered from neck to toe and tattoos all you’re missing or some face tattoos and you’d be complete “ you both give a giggle before he steps aside, and let you .

He watched you as you walked in. The way your hair gently flowed in the wind. Your hips swing with each step that you took.. and that ass . Noah was an extremely respectful person, especially towards women, but he couldn’t deny that you had a great ass on you, and it was one of the features that he really liked on you physically

“ so anything new going on? Aside from resting, of course.” You asked as you popped down on the sofa, making yourself at home as you would usually do

“ oh you know just working on the new album, all that junk. But we got the day off today, so just another day for me to center myself” he sat down close to you

"That sounds really productive and honestly relaxing” you kick your shoes off and fold them underneath your weight

“But tell me about you, you’re the one who’s been traveling and gotten some new ink” he said looking to your new inked skin. Out of all of the friends you were the only odd one out with no tattoos. You had finally gotten one with Nick, and once you left you had gotten one from each state you visited.

“Well, New York was obviously amazing and fluent a great artist for this one,” you pointed to the one on your shoulder “then after went to Virginia, visited some old friends of course and got this one. And finally stopped at Vegas and got this lil cutie” you pointed to a delicate design that wrapped around your wrist and went just about half way into the back of your hand.

Without thinking twice, Noah takes your hands in his and observes the tattoos. Face. You could feel your palms starting to sweat and your heart rate begin to race. You really hope you couldn’t feel how sweaty your hands were getting. You really hope you couldn’t hear how heavy you were breathing all the sudden. You had tried to convince yourself that those feelings were simply just teenage hormones, but now that you say here, again, with him in his living room. Your hands in his as he looked over your tattoos you had realize that those feelings truly did not go away…. However, you didn’t want them to go away either. Something with you hoping he would also reciprocate those feelings.

Then looked up from being much closer to your face than he had thought he was, and he giggled. He struggled to make eye contact with you know that if he did, he would say he’d regret. So, instead, he simply sat there in silence, while you looked at each other.

“They’re um….really pretty..” he said staring at your orbs. Mentally he meant your eyes, but verbally he said. “The tattoos…you found some great artists huh?”

Damn it! That was your chance! Artist? Come on!

“Y-yeah they were great, but compared to yours these are nothing” you blush trying to change the focus of the conversation

"which one is your favorite?" he asks

"I mean it would be hard to chose there are so many..." you chuckle trying not to sound nervous

"well take your pick" he said displaying his arms. You instantly look to his arm covered in a beautiful scarlet from wrist to shoulder. It was your honest favorite. You take his hand in yours as your other hand glides up his arm and trace along the beautiful design. You thought it was one of his best pieces

"this one.." you said softly. You hadn't even noticed he was now holding your hand in his. Your eyes fall down to them as you notice the size difference between you and him. How his hand encaged yours in warmth and comfort. Both your hands lining up finger by finger in front of your faces as your fingers slowly come to intertwine together. His hand lacing with yours nearly perfectly, like a missing puzzle piece finally put together.

"Y/N..." he called you and you finally snap out of your mind. Realizing the position you were in

"O-Oh Noah I'm sorry I didn't mean to do th-"

"I really like you." he blurts out

"....."

"I think..I've alwasy thought of what an amazing, smart and funny girl…I uh…lost my chance when you left to travel but I want…to want know..if you would- if you! If you feel the same way?” He asked cautiously

“…” you remain silent making Josh very nervous

“…if you don’t that totally fi-“ the poor boy was then shut up by your lips on his. It was 100%, defiantly a yes from you. His hand lets go of your as his arms wrap around your waist and brings you closer to him. You both pull back slowly and rest your foreheads on each others

“…well that took long enough” you giggle whisper

“Yeah…just pissed I didn’t do it sooner” he sighs as he rests you in his lap, feeling at home and comfortable with your weight in him

“Well we’re where now,” you smile “and you can make it up to me of course”

“And how’s that?”

“With some more kisses Mr,Sebastian”

「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @cncohshit @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @misspygmypie @fvckmeorchokeme @lust-for-sacher @thescarlettvvitch @cind6547 @itsmrsfuentes @purple-lili @lma1986 @daylightlvrs @darling-arwen-rose

[kanmom51]

JK Golden concept photos are starting to drop.

We got three last night.

Let's talk a little about what I see here. First glance for each photo for starters.

We have golden lit faced JK with the blueish circle aura in the back. First thing that comes to mind is JK looking into the sun, or perhaps he is the sun, and behind him the round full moon.

But if I think about my post about Magic hours, then you have that too, the combination of golden hour and blue hour, perhaps a perfectly created time where golden hour and blue hour exist together, when the sun and the moon create their most beautiful lighting settings. This isn't when the sun and the moon are each at their peaks, but more so when they have this kind of equilibrium of sharing the skies together, at once.

OMG, I'm such a good bullshit artist. Lmao.

But seriously, this might all be bull, and yet it somehow makes sense to me in my head.

Now this one. Ok, clearly JK on the screens behind him, but at the same time that is one of those photos that reminds of JM's face shoot ever so much. And you just cannot ignore how much this looks like JM's Filter shoot.

And it could literally have the same kind of meaning. As this is something each and every one of them struggles with. With JM it was about being what we want him to be. With JK it could be about not being what he's expected to be. This I'm only taking from everything JK has been giving us the past few months. I guess we'll wait and see as the rest of the pics, content and album drop.

And last pic for today. Is it intentional that we see him standing on what looks like an elevated square limited in size platform. Platform shoes as well. Is he being lifted to be taller than he is? Put on a pedistal? Chest bare but covered at same time.

I'm telling you, my bullshit meter is going crazy this morning.

Nah, but seriously. Maybe there isn't meaning behind every shot, but I can assure you much thought went into this. And we know JK's involvement in these shoots!! So, once again, we wait and see.

Ok, so now is the point where we talk about the similarities to JM that hit you right in the face. Because you cannot just ignore them.

Do these need explanations?

JM looking at himself performing, facing the fans. JK standing facing away from the screens, the image on the screens feels like him in a more exposed or vulnerable position...

And this one.

And people's thoughts and ideas about these photos...

Or this as well.

Of course there are those that will be screaming JK stole JM's ideas. What a load of bull crap that would be.

Is he inspired by JM?

Hell yeah!!

Is he intentionally trying to send us a message?

Very possible that he is.

At this point I will say this. And these are my own personal thoughts.

This is not a coincidence. This, in my opinion, is also not unintentional. It's just way too much to be an "oops this kinda looks like JM and I didn't even notice I did this" JK. It feels intentional. It feels messaged. It feels this is him telling us just how much they are: You are me I am you!!

[black-arcana]

Every Lacuna Coil album ranked from worst to best

(Image credit: Cunene)

9. Shallow Life (2009)

Lacuna Coil’s fifth album was meant to be a critique on superficiality, but it fell flat musically. Missing the nu metal crunch of predecessor Karmacode and stripped of the opulence that characterised the band’s earlier material, Shallow Life meanders. Though it’s not a complete car crash (Spellbound is an obvious standout), it’s slim pickings.

8. Dark Adrenaline (2012)

Dark Adrenaline isn’t a terrible album; it’s just an unremarkable one. Meaty opener Trip The Darkness and a cinematic Intoxicated provide the highpoints amongst more generic, forgettable fare. There’s still little here we haven’t heard from the band before, however – plus that truly horrible cover of R.E.M.’s Losing My Religion misses the mark in every way. 

7. Broken Crown Halo (2014)

By the time Lacuna Coil released their seventh album, it felt like they had made the same statement at least three times in a row. The last release to feature the long-term members Cristiano “Pizza” Migliore  (guitars) and Cristiano “Criz” Mozzati (drums), Broken Crown Halo packs more grit and punch than predecessor Dark Adrenaline (Cybersleep and frequent set-closer Nothing Stands In Our Way are the highlights). Yet, there’s still no doubt by this point: the band were treading water. 

6. In A Reverie (1999)

Dreamy, doomy and gothic, Lacuna Coil’s debut has aged very well. Circle, To Myself I Turned and Glass Veins have lost none of their majesty and, while the Italians’ approach at this point is clearly indebted to Paradise Lost and The Gathering’s 1995 album Mandylion, Cristina and Andrea’s serene/raw vocal attack set this bunch apart right from the start. A promising beginning.

5. Karmacode (2006)

By the mid-2000s, Lacuna Coil had nailed their ethereal goth ways. So, it was a surprise when they changed gears with fourth album Karmacode, introducing a more mainstream, chunky, nu metal-flavoured sound with focus on melody. The move sacrificed much of their splendour and atmospherics, and tracks like The Game and Closer feel a tad too simplistic, but elsewhere, the band proved they had mastered a hook. Their excellent cover of Depeche Mode’s Enjoy The Silence broke them to an even bigger audience, too.

4. Unleashed Memories (2001)

Lacuna Coil’s second album is an elegant, slow-burning gem. You need to work a little harder to get under the surface of these songs, but once you do, there’s an abundance of gorgeous charms to discover. From the sumptuous and dignified Heir Of A Dying Day to a towering To Live Is To Hide, the still very Paradise Lost-influenced When A Dead Man Walks to the ornate Cold Heritage, the band were evolving at pace.

3. Delirium (2016)

In their post-Karmacode period, Lacuna Coil had settled into a safe, predictable groove. Then, with eighth album Delirium, they changed their methodology once again. On its release, tracks like Broken Things and Blood, Tears, Dust were dark and dripping with claustrophobic tension. They were startlingly heavy as well, helped in no small part by vocalist Andrea Ferro putting in some of his best guttural vocals to date. Foreboding, haunted and cold, it was the sound of a band renewed.  

2. Black Anima (2019)

Lacuna Coil’s most recent album finds them in fantastic form. Picking up where Delirium left off, the band have only continued to get heavier, leaving the generic, featherlight melodies of their mid-career slump far behind. Packed with atmosphere and highlights in Sword Of Anger and Layers Of Time, it’s not as stark as its predecessor, while the Exorcist vibes of Veneficium are definitely something they should lean into in the future. Whereas Cristina’s piercing vocals are dependably great, pushing her voice to new height on Reckless, the biggest surprise is Andrea,: unrecognisable from the band’s early days, his bowel-rattling vocals takes the band’s stylings to an ever more twisted realm.

1. Comalies (2002)

Comalies is the moment everything came together for Lacuna Coil in terms of aesthetics and sound, but also songwriting, which took everything up a notch. It was led by two excellent singles: the celestial Swamped and Heaven’s A Lie – which marries an earworm chorus with glossy, apocalyptic grandeur – and broke the band on MTV.

The opus is also a trove of emotionally-charged gems, with Daylight Dancer, Humane, Tight Rope and Entwined all deserving a place on a countdown of the band’s best songs. In 2022, Lacuna Coil celebrated the album’s 20th anniversary by rearranging and re-recording it for a retrospective, Comalies XX, adding a heavier, more ferocious slant to the tracklist. It couldn’t hold a candle to the original, though, which remains a goth metal classic – not to mention the band’s undisputed masterpiece. 

[dojae-huh]

Hii

I wanna ask my curiosity. You can answer it when you're not busy.

• Do you think there is a big gap between 127 fans and dream? I mean they sometimes put each other down and proud of themselves. Dream base on twitter has more followers than 127 central. Likewise ​​where nct dream seems to have many bases. Does that mean nct dream is bigger than 127?

Because they feel superior, they also sometimes make narratives as if the agency doesn't want the nct dream to be bigger and better known and cover up other ncts. I don't know how industrial they are. But is it just for that ridiculous reason that the agency wants to dim nct dream? Yet to their advantage. lol.

dream fan also really dislikes Mahae in NCT 127. And vice versa. Dream fans will say "can't your group do anything without mahae? So they have to always follow the 127 schedule? Even though dream is fine regardless of the members"

And 127 fans will say "because the first unit that was fixed was 127, you should be happy that 7 members are still dreaming even though the system used to be graduation" cuz dream system now like NCT U though they're fixed unit.

The graduation was a trauma for the members (mark) and dream fans. And dream fans always think that being together with NCT Dream is fate. And believes that mark and haechan are more comfortable in nct dream who are their age than 127.

Fans of 127 feel that the abolished graduation is actually the beginning of the destruction of NCT system. Though Winwin was also indirectly kicked out of 127. and dream fans also felt that it was different from NCT Dream who started with 7 people till now though there was graduation before being fixed unit. 127 actually 7 and added other members and kicked out another one.

Not to mention the fans who are worried about the health of Mark Haechan who is full of schedules even though they can make their own decisions. And blame the agency for not being able to schedule properly. Even though they will also protest if the members don't have work. What's even funny is if solo stan mark or haechan chooses them only in one unit and badmouths them in another unit. Like wtf. They're the same person just different circle and interaction. I know there might be ones that are more suited to a particular genre of unit songs or maybe certain interactions so they lean towards one unit.But even if you don't support them in other units, it doesn't mean badmouthing other units because their favorites also work there.

And the last issue is that dream fans want NCT dream to rebrand so that it doesn't need to be under the auspices of NCT so that staff can focus more on dreams and don't have to think about other groups. Also, you don't need to worry about how many members are present because there are definitely seven of them. They clearly don't care what Mahae will do in 127, the important thing is that 7dream is intact. Even said that 127 is enough for 7 people by removing the mahae for them lol. Maybe in the future nct dream rebrand? And made mahe out of 127. Even though 127 also had limited time due to military service?

I apologize for writing my long thoughts. Thanks for listening to me

It is hard to asses the number of unit fans.

The age demographic and streaming/buying activity pattern should differ. Dream fans should have bigger streaming power and thus achieve higher MV and song views/listens. 127 should be able to buy albums or online concert tickets well.

There are many fans who like both units (and all three units (now four!)), who will support all units.

That being sad, it seems that 127 and Dream are pretty close in number of fans. Both units sell albums in similar numbers and have similar number of IG/YT followers. You pointed out that Dream bas has more subscribers on twitter, however, official 127's IG has more followers than Dream (15.8mln vs 12.4mln). As I said, these metrics are not very reliable. Twitter is not the only platform fans congregate. For example, Russia has a copy of FB called Vkontakte. All Russian speaking translation teams and fanbases reside there. The popularity of fanbase accounts depends on how active and good they are.

Look at the difference between all NCT fanbase acc and solely NCT Dream one. NCT's acc is run very well, it's a news provider acc. I actually wonder sometimes why I waste time on TW for updates, heh. VK doesn't open in every country, but give it a try.

127 fans on twitter say the same thing as Dream fans. 127 is used, mistreated, not promoted well, SM doesn't want them to become bigger than Dream, doesn't let individual members have gigs, doesn't advertise their achievemnts, etc. Everything is exactly the same on both sides.

127 and Dream debuted at almost same time, however, Dream was supposed to be temporal, Dreamies were still attending school, therefore they had fewer albums and exposure in the first few years. Once they were transitioned in a fixed unit, the gap was closed.

Dream was made for South Korea and Asia first and foremost. It was easier for them to gain SK fans because the music was adapted to SK more. 127 was designed for the West and global expansion. That's why both Dream and 127 fans can create narratives of their unit superiority. 127 was first and promoted NCT brand in US, "paving the way" to Dream and WayV. Dream is better as they were more popular in SK with lesser albums, therefore it's SM that stands in their way.

SM wants money. The only time when it's reasonable for an agency to downplay or ruin its own artist's success is when the said artist wants to leave. Fans can't decide whether SM overworks neos or doesn't give them enough work and keeps in the basement.

MarkHyuk being in two units is a big complication. Yes, technically they are fixed in 127 and non-fixed in Dream. However, Mark is the leader, Dreamies refuse even to chant "Yo Dream" without him, there is that strong bond. On the other hand, both, especially Haechan, say how 127 is their family, how they want to keep working as a team. Therefore MarkHyuk try to be present in all activities in both units.

WinWin was planned for the Chinese unit from the beginning. WW-Woo exchange was planned from the beginning.

Haechan has Doyoung-ie hyung and Mark often says he is comfortable with hyungs, he likes to be taken care of, actually. 127 allows for more advanced music (vocally or expression challenging).

Dreamies lucked out. I can't even blame SM for not thinking their strategy through with graduation system. It is absolutely not a given that members of the same group would like each other and bond. Sometimes hardships unite, sometimes they break apart.

It is very popular among fans of groups to swear they are OTnumber and that they will support all the members indefinetely. However, once a member gets into a scandal or leaves on his/her own volition, fans change their heart. WayV is a great example. Few miss WW in 127 nowadays, YuWin became YuMark, fans now want the first albums to be re-recorded to include Jungwoo (and JohnDo on the first mini).

There is a very strong Us vs Them mentality nowadays. Polarisation is much stronger than before. As well as "if you don't agree even with some things that we say, you are our enemy". Therefore, some Dream stans wanting a different unit colour or a management team is not surprising. They are so keen on division, they don't take into account the wishes of neos themselves or the reality of NCT brand helping everyone.

127 and Dream will remain intact for the foreseeable future, I think. Unless some scandals happen or certain members develop their solo careers and decide to have families.

Unfortunately to solo stans, MarkHyuk have ties to both units and are hungry for making as much music as possible.

[mossandteeth]

Blurryface and the Bishops

So, the 2015 album Blurryface (BF) has the album cover:

With each of the 9 circles corresponding to 9 different songs on the album. The two red circles are there to represent the new logo of that era |-/. There are 14 tracks on the album, which are (with their corresponding circles going across each row left to right):

Heavydirtysoul (1st circle)

Stressed Out (8th circle) (red)

Ride (3rd circle) (red)

Fairly Local (7th circle)

Tear in My Heart (2nd circle)

Lane Boy (6th circle)

The Judge

Doubt (5th circle)

Polarize (4th circle)

We Don’t Believe What’s on TV

Message Man

Not Today

Goner (9th circle)

The Blurryface character is hugely prevalent in this era. Officially, he looks like this:

You can also see small pieces of other song designs around his face. To Tyler, he represents insecurities and other internal struggles Tyler faces. Blurryface is a personification of all these things, which Tyler often portrays throughout this era - particularly when he has red eyes and a deep voice in the songs and music videos. The black paint on his neck and hands are an extension of Blurryface because it represents Tyler’s insecurities around using his voice and hands to create.

Transitioning into the Trench era, the idea of the Blurryface character evolved. A website, DMAORG, was discovered which had written letters and photos “posted” by a character called Clancy (maybe more about this in another post). The concept of Blurryface became a whole world that Tyler was navigating, one with a city called Dema. A map of Dema was found on the website that shows 9 circles in the centre:

When zoomed in, you can read:

In order, the words read: Andre, Lisben (later seen as Lisden), Keons, Nico (which was originally believed to be Nigo due to lyrics matching up, but was later confirmed Nico), Reisdro, Sacarver, Nills, Vetomo, Listo.

Each of these words was discovered to correspond to a section of lyrics of Blurryface songs:

Andre - Fairly Local: “and repeat yesterday’s dance”

Lisden / Lisben - Polarize: “all I feel is denial”

Keons - “I hope that they choke on smoke”

Nico / Nigo - Stressed Out: “I was told when I got older”

Reisdro - Doubt: “temperature is dropping”

Sacarver - Tear in My Heart: “she’s a carver”

Nills - Goner: “and beaten down, I’ll slip away”

Vetomo - Lane Boy: “will they be alive tomorrow”

Listo - Ride: “we have a list of people”

The phrase “east is up” is also found on the website as a hint. When orienting the map photo so that the east side is at the top, the arrangement of the circles corresponding to certain songs line up with the circles and songs on the Blurryface album cover:

Another extra detail to this is that when considering the track numbers for the Blurryface songs, it shows:

Which written out is: 1539864214. This matches the violation code found on the DMAORG website: 15398642_14.

Getting back to the circles, in Clancy’s first letter posted on DMAORG, he writes about Keons being one of Dema’s nine bishops. This gives context to what these words were, the names of the nine bishops seemingly overseeing the city Dema. Keons’ “district” is mentioned in the letter. Looking back at the map of Dema, the layer surrounding the inner 9 circles have the text “DST. LISDEN”, “DST. KEONS”, etc. within each of the 9 segments of the layer. These are the bishops’ districts that they control in Dema. When oriented to “east is up”, the order from the 9 o’clock position going clockwise is Lisden, Keons, Reisdro, Sacarver, Listo, Vetomo, Nills, Nico, Andre:

Also, the circles are “towers of silence” (Dema means “tower of silence” in Zoroastrianism, an old religion in Iran). These towers were used leave dead bodies out for vultures to consume. These towers are seen clearly in the Nico and The Niners music video:

The theory is that each person living in Dema is assigned or is controlled mainly by one bishop, corresponding to their district. Seen in the Jumpsuit music video and supported by one of Clancy’s letters describing the events in the video, Tyler’s bishop is Nico. The letters also explain that Clancy’s bishop is Keons. The personalities of the bishops are somewhat explored, with Clancy describing Keons as “warm and gentle”, while Nico was “something else”, and possessed more power than the other bishops.

Because of the song associations with each bishop, its thought that they each represent or personify something people struggle with internally, such as depression and anxiety, related to the topic of the Blurryface song they represent. I might make a separate post on this though.

Differentiating between the bishops, Nico, and Blurryface has been difficult, but the theory that makes the most sense in my opinion is that Blurryface is Tyler’s personal manifestation of his struggles and insecurity, while the bishops represent the concept of struggles that people in general deal with (or possibly just different parts of the mind - not necessarily good or bad), and Nico is a specific issue that Tyler is struggling with. Nico also represents the all consuming nature of struggling mentally, hence his power over the other bishops.

When it comes to the most recent era, Scaled And Icy, the bishops play an important role in controlling the propaganda Dema is producing, and more goes on with the different bishops starting to have very clear roles in the lore. I’ll try post something about this in the future. Anyways that’s how Blurryface becomes / relates to the bishops!

[lovejustforaday]

2023 Year End List - #5

The Redshift Blues - Dispirited Spirits

Main genres: Art Rock, Progressive Rock, Midwest Emo

A decent sampling of: Space Rock, Post-Rock, Jazz Rock, Math Rock, Experimental Rock

Midwest Emo, and probably just Emo in general, really ain't usually my thing.

There's definitely some good and some great in nearly every scene, but I find this one in general to be saturated with overly indulgent projects that don't add up in the quality factor, and bands that just come off as harsh and grating. There's also a prominent few artists in this scene that give off the kind of Nice Guy™ energy that makes my skin crawl.

So if I'm completely being honest, I really just came across this record by chance, and decided to check it out almost purely because of the spectacularly awesome cover art and the equally awesome record title. To quote anime youtuber Hazel, that shit owns.

Dispirited Spirits is the moniker of Portuguese singer/songwriter/producer Indigo Dias, who was just 19 fricking years old when he made this record, and just typing that sentence out makes my head wanna explode. HOW??? HOOOOOOW???!?!?!?

What's even more, this is frigging fantastic by my own standards, and I'm not even someone who regularly enjoys a whole lot of Emo music. If there's any young newcomer who's gonna take the world of indie rock by storm, then it's gotta be this guy, right? If I was a betting man, I'd be putting my money on Dispirited Spirits.

Case in point, his latest project.

That is to say, The Redshift Blues is a stunning record that captures the awe and the angst of being that diminutive human being, bearing witness to the grandeur of the night sky which acts as the gateway to the unfathomably vast realm outside of our tiny little blue planet. Who needs expensive VR headsets to simulate floating freely through the endless sea of the cosmos, when you can just listen to this record, close your eyes, and get just about as close to the real deal as you're ever gonna have in your lifetime?

This album does a little bit of everything on the nerdier side of modern rock music - mostly a midwest emo/art rock/prog hybrid, with moments of post-rock, jazz-rock, and math rock all thrown in the mix. At the same time, this very much reinvents and kinda defies genre, clearly aiming to be its own singular thing.

Dias takes his lyrical inspiration from various astronomical phenomena on this record, the title itself being clever wordplay for the death of a relationship that invokes the universe's redshift or tendency towards expansion, causing objects to become more distant from each other over time. Some may find this dorky or try-hard or whatever, but I think the execution is mostly brilliant.

Anyhow, let's cut to the chase and hone in on my favourite tracks.

"Nine Clouds" swims through skies of glittering space dust, with gently gliding guitars that resonate in endless ripples through space and time. This track is impeccably cushiony; disorienting in the sense that it's as if I'm turning in random circles as the musical notes twist, soar, and plummet, but all the while I remain perfectly cradled in a bubble of warm nurturing light.

"Bring Down The Sky" is a journey through cosmological purgatory and back, with various trials of harsh emo power chords separated by periods of rest nestled between mellow psychedelic phaser pedals and flourishing harps. Also, kudos to whoever laid down the many different drum patterns on this track - really holds the whole thing together to give it some solid form and muscle.

"Methanol Fire" interpolates a samba-jazz beat into its hard-rocking midwest emo riffs, making it the grooviest and most rhythmic track on an otherwise sometimes very free-form record. Leisurely space jazz atmosphere interchanged with sad boys moshing in the nucleus of a supernova. These two major components blend together so seamlessly in a way I probably wouldn't have otherwise thought was possible.

The titular outro "The Redshift Blues" is hands down the real showstopper here, as well as the emotional lynchpin of the record. This ten minute opus is one part looming space ambience, one part post-rock epic poem, yet another part part solitary acoustic ballad, and one part cinematic orchestral elegy. The moment of that final line of the bridge where Dias utters "I'll find you in the stars" and everything comes forth in this really mind-blowing, unearthly harmonious sound swell - that moment just really gets to me. A simple instance of pure, raw, ephemeral beauty in the midst of a very chaotic composition.

There are a few sparring moments here or there where it meanders or overly indulges itself - mostly on "Saturnine Saturn Dreams" - But overall I'm mostly impressed at how much of this manages to come together in a way that comes off very natural. There's a lot of tight composition that's working over-time to make sure that this maintains its nearly amorphous structure.

So yeah, let me reiterate that I am mostly just mind-blown by this project. Dispirited Spirits is easily one of the most ambitious and unique artists in indie rock to have come onto the scene so far in this new-(ish) decade. The powerful cohesion of this project suggests that it came from an visionary who's far more seasoned than Indigo Dias would reasonably be at his young age.

The Redshift Blues brilliantly conveys the existential dread and angst that arises from existing in a world far larger than you could ever imagine, and how that impacts your ability to ever be fully in control of your life when there are so many external factors involved that are so much larger than you. Ultimately, it's a surrendering of the self to the inevitable impotence of being just one person, yet still the artist manages to find a shimmer of hope and humility in what is truly sublime about this world. That, I think, is the true Redshift Blues.

9/10

Highlights: "The Redshift Blues", "Nine Clouds", "Bring Down The Sky", "Methanol Fire"

[airadam]

Episode 167 : More Tune

"We on they mood board, though they livin' in denial."

- Solace

This month's selection came together slowly and then all at once! It's turned out to be a great combination of deep album cuts, some lesser-known bonus tracks and remixes, as well as some brand new nuggets you can and should add to your collection! Of course I had to give you some Guru, and we start the episode with a cover version of a record that samples another musical giant, the recently and sadly departed Ahmad Jamal.

Don't forget that you can get the up-to-date list of my upcoming streams and events at events.airadam.com!

Twitter : @airadam13

Twitch : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Elzhi & Will Sessions : The World Is Yours

RIP to the great Ahmad Jamal, the legendary pianist who was famously sampled on the original "The World Is Yours" on the classic Nas "Illmatic" LP. As we've already played that on the podcast, we instead turn to the excellent re-imagining of that album by the all-Detroit combination of the band Will Sessions and the gifted MC Elzhi. It's always interesting when a musician is sampled by a Hip-Hop producer, and then that production later remade by other live musicians - bringing things full circle.

The Quarter Inch Kings : I'm No Comeback

As part of the Beat Tape Project, Toronto's Quarter Inch Kings channel some soulful flavour on this instrumental from "The AZ Beat Tape" - one that I could very well hear the Brooklyn Legend on.

Masta Ace & Marco Polo : Masta Polo

I was almost going to describe Marco Polo as one of the new generation of producers, but then I realised - it's been eighteen years! Still fresh, yet a veteran, he combines with a legend from the Juice Crew, Brooklyn's Masta Ace, for some classy 21st century boom-bap. You need to find the Deluxe edition of the Polo-produced "A Breukelen Story" album to get this one, and it's well worth the effort.

Terri Walker ft. Ty : OK

One of the finest soul singers these isles have ever produced, though an underappreciated one, Terri Walker has always shown love to the home team, with this track being a great example. The Nottingham stalwart Joe Buhdha is behind the boards, and the late London don TY warms up the mic before Ms Walker strides over the instrumentation. You might know her first few LPs, but definitely check for the later stuff, such as the EP this track was release on, "Joe Buhdha Presents Breakout". RIP Ty, live long Terri Walker.

Gang Starr : 2 Deep (City Lick Mix)

This is one of my earliest Hip-Hop 12" purchases, and a version of the Gang Starr classic deep single that I had to grow into! The UK's Dodge City Productions were, in retrospect, a perfect choice to take on remix duties here, a group well-steeped in the jazz that Gang Starr had helped pioneer as part of Hip-Hop. The late great Guru is in fine form, on his grown man business over all three verses - starting closer to battle mode and then weaving in his message. Apparently a Europe-only release, this is a worthy version to stand next to the original from the "Daily Operation" LP.

Curren$y : Fortune 500

This is clearly an anthem for LLC Twitter, with one long verse about getting that cash, and the outro showing Curren$y quizzing the next generation. The brand new "For Motivational Use Only" LP is another in the set of releases where Curren$y links up with a single producer to build a cohesive whole - in this case, the veteran Jermaine Dupri. I'd be lying if I said it was a collaboration that I was thinking about, but it works!

Medline : Payé Entièrement

Sound familiar? If you didn't guess from the title, this is a wicked instrumental cover of the classic "Paid In Full" by Eric B & Rakim that just cannot be denied. You can head straight over to Bandcamp to get the digital version as a bonus cut on the "Je Sais Que Tu As De L'​Â​me" release (put that into Google Translate if you don't speak French) - really, an essential pickup in my opinion.

Knaladeus : Lose Or Win

Not in terms of complexity as such, but in terms of tone, does Knaladeus here remind you of Black Thought at all? Either way, self-produced dopeness with quality songwriting from this artist out of Florida, one of the early tracks on his 2018 "Letters To You" album. His heartfelt lyrics on top of that beat are already a great blend, but the cherry is provided by DJ Stranger's cuts, drawing from the lyrics of Guru - once I heard those, this track was a lock for this episode.

Onra : 1-4 TONI

If you like a track with instructions (think "Jump Around", or hell, even "The Time Warp"), then this is up your street. That said, if you weren't already nodding your head to this one, you might want to clear your ears out first! Nice beat by the man from Paris, a 2018 track that went unreleased until Valentine's Day this year.

Superbad Solace : Throwing Fits

One for the Lo heads, from one of the foremost representatives currently recording! Solace has done it again with his "Sol Controller 3" project, and this track dedicated to the art of getting fresh is a personal favourite. The references to the Ralph Lauren brand and lifestyle are numerous, but as Solace points out, "you can buy gear, but you can't buy style"! The beat by Mono en Stereo makes you feel like you need to be posing on a yacht for a catalogue somewhere :)

Panama Gat : So Lonely

This man has a spectacular MC name, though it feels a little wrong to point it out when the subject of his song on this episode is so serious. It's raw at times, but that's often how it goes when you're expressing real emotion. On the production front, the soul-sampling beat reminds you of the work of Kanye West and Just Blaze around the same era, but it's not a bite in any way. I'm not sure who put it together, but my guess is 9th Wonder, as this is part of the Justus League "Just Us, Vol. 6" mixtape.

Leavv : Within

A little of that Chillhop flavour for you, with Leavv coming from Germany but this track coming from some kind of dreamland where even the passing clouds come with a bumping drum accompaniment. Find this on the "Chillhop Essentials - Fall 2017" collection, which even now is available as a "name your price" release on Bandcamp!

Ilajide : Boom Shakalak

I'd almost forgotten this track from "#0414917"! The programming of this beat by one of Detroit's finest is on a half-time vibe which makes it feel much slower than the 100bpm than it measures at, and he works that by keeping his flow on the mic downtempo too.

Tha Chill ft. Kokane : RNO

Part of the respected Compton's Most Wanted, Tha Chill missed out on featuring on two of the group's LPs due to legal troubles, but bounced back from them and not only reunited with the crew but has a solid set of solo releases to his name. This track is from the 2020 "Fohead" LP, and I think may be self-produced - the instrumental embodies his name, with it being a little dark and cold, and moderately uptempo without being hectic. On the mic he's joined by another "if you know, you know" west coast legend, Pomona's Kokane, an artist well worth exploring in his own right.

Sepalot ft. Blu : Surrender

Rough, angular, lurching electronic rawness! Heading back over to Germany (Munich, to be precise), we pick up this B-side from the 2008 "She Likes Me" 12", loaded with synths and disembodied yells. It's a challenging background for an MC, but Blu, who you might know for considerably more gentle material, handles it with no problem at all.

Erick Sermon ft. MC Lyte and Rah Digga : Tell Me (If You Don't Feel Me)

Erick Sermon is a respected MC in his own right, but part of his production greatness is in knowing when to draft in even more firepower, as he does here on the 2002 "React" album! Two different generations (in terms of career period, if not age) combine to burn up the guest features here, with Brooklynite MC Lyte and Newark's Rah Digga bringing it home over Erick's beat, which very much has the flavour of the era.

Dâm-Funk : The Flow

The "STFU II" EP is - relatively speaking - a chilled collection for the Pasadena modern funk legend. This track has clean, gliding keyboard pads, but also the right weight of drums and synth bass, plus the tempo, to allow you to dance to it if that's how you feel. Dâm-Funk has been building up a very respectable discography since his 2008 debut single - take some time to explore it if you haven't already.

DJ Quik ft. Ludacris : Spur Of The Moment / Pacific Coast Remix

This might not be the most progressive track in the world, but it sounds absolutely fantastic, still. A standout on 2005's "Trauma" album, in shows how skilled DJ Quik is not just as a producer (and MC), but also as a mixer/engineer. The sunshiney vibes pour out of this one, and Ludacris, who my Twitch crowd all seem to agree is an underrated MC, hits the mark perfectly as a guest. This track seems to have a different title depending on whether you have the CD or vinyl of the album, but the only difference between them is how you rewind it to play it again once it fades out!

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

[trans-mink]

Heres that post I said I'd make of my concert experiences in 2022 and my issues with access as a person with hypermobility.

Bare in mind I'd only ever been to 2 pre covid and I managed to get to 4 this year :D. I am still getting used to what works for me in terms of managing my disability in different contexts.

Queen

My first one of 2022 was queen and adam lambert. It was so good, those old men can move, their vocals are still in great nick especially Brian's. The visuals were great too, a lot of lights and imagery from their different eras. Adam on a spinning motorbike for Bicycle, hell yeah. Was hoping they'd perform Innuendo which is my fav queen song but they did not, they did do The show must go on however which is almost as good. Cried a lot at These are the days of our lives.

Can't say much in terms of access cos I was standing (bad decision bcs i hurt like hell afterward but i got that ticket off someone else so)

Carpenter Brut

Honestly wish I'd enjoyed it more but there were several things working against me there. Its the kind of music I listen to while doing other stuff cos its mostly instrumental so sitting and bobbing along kinda didnt cut it for me personally. I think id have had a better experience if I was able to stand up and dance as well as having the option to sit but we werent allowed to do that rip. No way I could have gone in the pit bcs by this point my mobility issues had worsened. That and I was worrying about my nova twins concert the following week bcs my doctor was refusing to provide a disability note for me :^).

In terms of access for that, I did have to go up stairs cos the building doesnt have lifts (listed venues baybeee). Thankfully i dont have trouble with stairs but a lot of people do so :/. The seats were not comfortable at all and my back hurt after 😭

Nova Twins

As previously mentioned I saw Nova Twins the week after and was given a disabled seat despite my doctor being a cunt about it. Very glad I did, the view was good and I was able to stand up/ dance when I needed to (if i sit for too long my hips lock). Got to see the hosts of We wear black pod there so that was great, got their signatures and they said i was pretty :'). The acts themselves went hard, most energetic concert I've been to bar janelle monae it was so much fun. Hurt my arms headbanging off the railing bcs of course I did. Wish they'd done Devil's Face but we move.

Again, this building is listed and has no lift and im unsure if it has ramps. The complain in terms of my own access is that the disabled seats were just benches and when I asked for a seat with a back I was told there were none (fantastic for those of us with back problems, my ass had to get on the floor and stretch out bc of them shitty seats and in the end it was comfier to stand and move around). Chased it up with a complaint email and was told they do keep chairs with back support but this clearly wasnt communicated to the security team. That or the guy I asked just couldnt be bothered which....

First Aid Kit

First concert I'd been to completely alone and I'm super happy I'm at a point where I can do things more independantly. Their Support Lola Kirke was good, amazed that this woman was able to jump around and play guitar with her nipples only covered by stars, if I did that I'd hit myself in the face.

First aid kit themselves were so fucking good, I went in without having listened to the new album (got a signed copy while i was there tho hehe), it was a good gamble cos I cried the instant they walked out on that stage and performed Palomino. Visuals were my second fav after Queen's, they had shots of horses, fields, ocean, stuff like that it was super pretty. Cried at Lion's roar and some other songs, think thats the most ive cried at a gig so far. Enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would holy shit. That bitch was packed to the rafters and everyone lost their shit it was so fucking loud!!!

I had a seat in circle with a pretty good view considering I was kinda late into getting tickets cos i had no idea they were touring until about a month ago jkdbfvjhbhjb. This time the seats didnt make my back hurt which is a plus :D.

Final thoughts

I'm happy that I got to see everyone I did this year bcs it helps me work out what I like and dont like and what works for me. I wish venues would not make people prove theyre disabled just to get a fucking seat (particularly if its an a standing venue!!!) and doctors stop restricting access to shit we clearly need like I wouldnt bother asking if it wasn't essential :^). Your accessible seating is not accessible if it doesn't provide basic support lol!!!!

[db-reviews]

#141 - Solar Fire - Manfred Mann’s Earth Band (1974)

When people think of what Prog rock sounded like in the 70s, most people would think of either the more symphonic stuff of Renaissance or Genesis, and or the jazzy stuff of Gentle Giant or Van Der Graaf Generator. Most people won’t really think of the more space rock side of things unless they are fans of Gong or Pink Floyd. Space rock style of Prog has existed since the 60s but never really caught on with the scene until the 70s, and even then it wouldn’t be the most popular bunch of music until like the 2000s. Not to say it wasn’t influential, but it wasn’t what most people would gravitate towards ‘less we talk about Pink Floyd. Though, while the scene wasn’t as grand as some may say others are, it still brought about some great albums and songs, especially on today’s subject of Solar Fire.

I have known about Manfred Mann’s Earth Band for a bit, but never had interest diving into them, not until I heard their cover of Bob Dylan’s Father of Night, which is also on this album. I am not a Bob Dylan fan, but I take any chance I can get in hearing a good cover of his music. This is one of my favorite Dylan covers now, and it’s impressive a band can make a minute and a half song be extended to 9 minutes long. It made me grow interested in listening to the rest of this album since it was such a good cover.

However, that song is probably the only really big number on this album. While the songs here aren’t bad to me, I feel as though the band raised the bar of expectations really high to where they couldn’t meet expectations. Songs such as Pluto The Dog or Earth The Circle parts 2 and 1 do not hit the same marks that Father Of Day, Father Of Night gave. What you get here though is some fairly well made hard progressive rock standards. You get a lot of songs that sound very close to groups like Led Zeppelin or Deep Purple, but obviously with a more progressive twist. In The Beginning, Darkness is a number that really does sound very good in the hard rock camp in my opinion, and with the few meddlings of the more progressive flavors, it does sound good.

I think what this album excels at is the general fun flavor the band exudes. They aren’t clearly trying to be big and epic, but they aren’t being wild or crazy either. They kinda just do what they feel like, and that is honestly really respectful since you’ll know their work will be of quality and be generally good. However, my main issue with this fact is that the more I listen to this album the more apparent it is that they aren’t gonna be as groundbreaking as say Camel or Alan Parsons Project. Really, I compare them more to Nektar, being this generally good Prog rock sound that never really extends past the good markings. It’s not something I hate with all my heart, but I cannot help but feel the band have missed some opportunities within what they could’ve done.

Solar Fire, to me, is great at best, and good at worst, but never a complete masterpiece. It is an album that I think can work well introducing new people into Prog Rock, but as a piece of music that can extend the boundaries of what music can be, I am sorry but you can find a lot more out there. Sorry for the disrespect, but I think it should be said to some degree.

3.5/5

[musings-of-a-lovesick-fool]

Shiptober Day 12

Prompt: Family

Ship: Mary May Fairgrave x Anya Cherkov

Warning(s): Vague use of Absolution lore

Words: 1, 414

Anya turns a polaroid in her hand, a photo of Mary May and her brother Drew covered in mud and grinning at the camera looking back at her. Mary May meanwhile flips through a family photo album, pointing out certain photos and telling her the stories behind them. It was nice, getting to see glimpses into her past and hearing her talk fondly of her family—It made Anya feel closer to her in a way and she wished she had something similar to share.

Unfortunately she wasn't so lucky; the only reminder she had of her family was a bottle cap and that wasn't really the same as a photograph.

"You know—I have never seen a single photo of anyone in your family, I didn't want to ask about it in case you were on some kind of bad terms with them," Mary May says, placing the photo album down on the coffee table as Anya gently places the polaroids down beside it. She appreciates the sentiment, Mary May was always thoughtful when it came to asking questions about Anya's life and it was like a breath of fresh air compared to the ither nosey residents of Hope County.

"No, it's nothing like that… I haven't seen my family in a very long time and I—Wasn't able to keep any pictures," She shrugs gently, resting her elbows on her knees as she keeps her eyes on the polaroid. She didn't quite know how to explain the exact reason as to her lack of photos and she wasn't sure she was ready to try either.

"Did you lose them when you moved here?" Mary May probes gently, tucking Anya's hair behind her ear and settling her hand on her shoulder.

"Sort of, yes," Anya presses her lips into a tight line and Mary May frowns, resting her head on her shoulder and wrapping her arms around Anya's.

"I'm sorry darlin' that must be hard," She offers quietly, dropping one hand to rub Anya's forearm comfortingly. Anya smiles, presses a kiss to the top of her head and rests her cheek against her soft hair.

"It is what it is… I can't remember their faces too clearly but I doremember how they felt… My father felt like a bear—"

Mary May snorts and Anya grins, watching as the dirty blonde covers her mouth and shakes her head.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't expecting that, please keep going," She laughs, apologetically waving her other hand to dismiss herself as Anya leans back against the couch. It was a pretty funny thing to say out of nowhere she had to admit. But he truly felt like a bear, strong and larger than life and warm. And well—Hairy. But most importantly he safe like safety.

"My mother was gentle, she would always brush my hair in the morning and put it up for me," She continues, unperturbed by Mary May's laughter. She could vaguely picture a woman similar to her, with a softer jaw and rosey cheeks and delicate hands the ran through her hair and kneaded dough. An ache blooms in her chest as she remembers all the sweet names she would call her.

"That's sweet," Mary May smiles, leaning back and resting her elbow on the back of the couch, tucking her cheek against her palm as she watches Anya's nostalgic expression.

"My brothers… They were like fox kits, they had so much energy, they would climb all over me and bite me," Anya chuckles and Mary May grins, reaching over to grab her hand. She could almost picture two smaller boys with Anya's white hair running circles around her, the mental image was too cute.

"Where are they now?" She asks innocently, her smile falling almost instantly as a barely hidden grimace crosses Anya's face. 

"My parents are probably long dead by now and my brothers… I like to think they're alive and well somewhere, happy and loved I hope," Anya mutters, head falling back against the leather as she looks up at the ceiling with a distant look in her eyes. It hurt to imagine her parents were buried somewhere, if they were buried at all.

"So wait, you're not in contact with them?" Mary May cuts off the depressing train of thought and Anya lets out a small sigh.

"No, when I came here I lost everything there was… No way for me to contact them," Anya smiles, a deep sadness in the lines of her face. She couldn't say she had losg contact well before she left Russia, she didn't have the energy to delve into that right now. Mary May offers a sympathetic squeeze to her hand before a thoughtful expression blooms on her face, than a determined one.

"Well shit, maybe we could try and find them, look them up online or something!" She suggests, blue eyes lighting up as she shuffles closer to her girlfriend. Anya feels her heart melt at the fire in her eyes, her want to help her reconnect with her brothers touching in a way she couldn't describe. But she can't share the sudden burst of energy.

"I've tried, I can't find anything," Anya squashes the train of thought immediately and Mary May's expression falls at how small her usually strong voice sounded.

"Oh… Well fuck," She mutters, slouching and letting her gaze fall to their interlocked hands.

"It's okay, I came to terms with it a while ago. We have new homes now and while we're not together they are always in my heart," Anya reassures her, pushing herself up and bumping her forehead against Mary May's. She had found a new place to call home, a new person to trust and rely on and she could only hope her brothers had found the same thing.

"That's so sweet man, i'm gonna cry," Mary May whimpers, face scrunching up as tears do in fact well up in the corners of her eyes.

"Don't you dare because then I will cry and we'll both be crying and it'll be a mess," Anya laughs weakly, that familiar itch starting on her waterline as she purses her lips. She really couldn't stand to see Mary May cry, not under any circumstance.

"I can't help it! Family shit gets to me dude, I don't know what I'd do if I lost Drew so I can't imagine how you must feel, fuck," Mary May huffs, burying her face away in Anya's shoulder and snaking her arms around her waist. Anya chuckles and reaches a hand up to tangle in her hair, scratching the base of her neck comfortingly.

"Hopefully you will never have to find out, I wouldn't wish it on you or anyone else," Anya murmurs and Mary May sighs.

"With the trouble that boy gets himself into I don't know, he's been hanging around that creepy Edens Gate project whatever lately and it's really freaking me out," Mary May mutters and Anya nods in understanding. She'd seen him with John Seed a few times now but kept it to herself, she didn't trust that family as far as she could throw them but until they posed a real threat to her or Mary May she had been minding her buisness regarding them.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Anya murmurs, running her hand down Mary May's back and resting it on her waist. The blonde sighs and picks up the polaroid Anya had been looking at, resting the back of her hand on Anya's thigh and angling it up at them.

"I wonder if they would have gotten along, how old would your brothers be now?"

"Mid-twenties probably, they would have bullied your brother he's a bit of a wimp compared to them I think," Anya smiles and Mary May laughs, shoving Anya's shoulder gently.

"You know what, that checks out," Mary May grins cheekily and Anya scoffs lightly.

"And what does that mean?" She asks, hooking her hands behind Mary May's back so she couldn't get away.

"You're a bully so it makes sense your brothers would be too," Mary May grins, leaning back and placing her hands on Anya's shoulders. Anya laughs in mock disbelief, pulling Mary May closer.

"I have no idea what you mean, I am an angel," She sings, tone superficially sweet as she presses a kiss to Mary May's neck. 

"Oh yeah sure buddy, you're an angel and i'm the queen of england,"

"You're my queen,"

"Shut the fuck up oh my god,"

[lunarbuck]

Merry and Bright

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader (any race)

WC: 1.4k

Summary: It’s Bucky’s first Christmas with you, and you want it to be perfect.

Warnings: Christmas traditions, fluff, sexual innuendo, pet name (baby)

A/N: I wanted to write something fluffy for Christmas to distract myself from the busy/weird holiday time so I hope you guys enjoy :) Also, i didn't know when to post this so you're getting it on Christmas Eve which is superior to Christmas Day in my opinion

my masterlist

“That one’s too small,” Bucky says, frowning at the tree in front of him. He’s said that about the last six trees you’ve suggested. You huff and take his hand, pulling him through the rows of trees until you find one that is bigger than the last.

“What about this one?” You say, glancing at the information tag on the tree. You have no idea how you’re going to fit this behemoth of a tree into your living room, but when Bucky puts his mind to something, he gets it done.

“Now, this is a tree, baby,” he exclaims, staring up at the tree. It’s probably the biggest tree being sold tonight, so of course, Bucky wants it. You understand why; it’s his first Christmas with you, and he wants it to be special, but it’s also his first normal Christmas in who knows how long. You want the day to be perfect for him, so you’ve let him pick out everything he wants leading up to the big day. Christmas tree included.

You flag down one of the employees working at the tree farm and are not quite prepared to see a big burly man dressed up like an elf. The lumberjack elf helps you check out, then carries the tree with Bucky back to your car. Of course, since he picked a tree as tall as the Empire State Building, it doesn’t fit. The three of you work to secure it for the drive home, and you’re surprised at how easily Bucky jokes around with the employee.

Since you started dating him, Bucky has slowly but surely come out of his shell. You don’t always notice the changes, but then something like this will happen. He’ll joke around with the older woman from the coffee shop. He’ll compliment the Uber driver on his taste in music. Bucky says it’s all thanks to you, but you know you can’t really take credit for that.

Bucky offers to drive home, and you let him; you don’t want to be liable for the tree falling out of your car in the middle of the highway. Instead, you get to be the DJ. You flip through a few radio stations until you find your favorite Christmas Station. They’re playing Sleigh Ride , which is your favorite Christmas song, so of course, you sing along.

You take every opportunity to bring out Bucky’s goofy smile. Singing along to songs in the car is a tried and true method; it never fails to make him laugh. Sometimes, if it’s a song he knows, he’ll sing with you. It’s moments when he’s carefree and happy that the years of brainwashing and pain seem to melt off him. He’s just a man singing with his girlfriend in the car. It’s the most normal thing in the world.

Thirty minutes later, Bucky pulls the car into your driveway. As if to prove a point, he carries the tree inside by himself, only accepting your help placing it in the living room. The top just barely touches the ceiling.

“I don’t even know if I have enough ornaments to cover this thing, Buck,” you say with a laugh, circling the tree. He flashes you a grin and shrugs, clearly not too worried about that. You groan a little and grab your Christmas bins from the closet. You find Bucky hunched over your record player when you return to the living room. A moment later, John Denver’s Christmas album plays gently through the sound system.

“Had to set the mood,” he teases, walking over to take a bin from you. Bucky gets right to it, wasting no time to start decorating the tree.

The trickiest part is wrapping the tree in lights. Growing up, you always had colorful lights, so you started using white lights when you got your own place. Bucky seems to like the simplicity. After a few minutes of detangling and another spent wrestling with the branches, the tree is lit up and shining.

Bucky then focuses his energy on hanging ornaments from the branches. Most of your ornaments are handmade and remind you of Christmas growing up. There are a few with your baby pictures, an awful paper snowflake covered in an obscene amount of glitter. Bucky looks at each one as if it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He hangs them gingerly on the tree and admires his placement after each one.

You join him, appreciating the simple domestic bliss that has settled between you two. Outside, snow falls gently, blanketing the streets of Brooklyn, and a peaceful silence envelopes the neighborhood.

Silver bells, silver bells,

It’s Christmas time in the city.

As the tree fills with ornaments, you let yourself watch Bucky more. He’s fully engrossed in his task, gently grabbing ornaments and finding the perfect spot for them. You were right in your guess that you wouldn’t have enough ornaments, but that’s okay. Bucky doesn’t seem to mind. Though he doesn’t talk much about the past, you can tell when he’s thinking about it. He gets this faraway look in his eyes; storm clouds roll in those beautiful blues. As he hangs an ornament with one of your baby pictures on it, you see that look.

You step around the tree and stand behind Bucky, wrapping your arms around his torso. He’s got some serious height on you, so your head only reaches the middle of his back. He sighs under your touch and places his hands on yours.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” you whisper into his shirt. He smells like pine, and Bucky chuckles a little at your words. There’s a lot of meaning to what you’ve said. You’re happy he’s here with you right now, decorating the tree, but you’re also happy he’s here and himself.

“I’m happy I’m here too,” he replies. Though life with Bucky isn’t always easy, the good parts outweigh the bad. Maybe that’s why you want this Christmas season to be so good. You want it to outweigh the bad ones you’ve had in the past.

“We can go out tomorrow and get more ornaments. I’m sorry I don’t have enough,” you mumble into his back. Bucky laughs from your tickling breaths.

“This is perfect, baby. I think we just need to put the star on top, and we’re done.” He moves you to stand in front of him, and you lean against his chest. Bucky’s right; the tree is pretty much perfect. “You wanna do the honors?” You nod and dig through the bin and find the star. It’s dented in a few places and could use some polishing, but you like it how it is.

Bucky picks you up like you weigh nothing, long fingers reaching around your waist. You reach out and place the star on the top of the tree. It scrapes your ceiling a bit, but you don’t mind. It looks perfect.

“You picked a good one, Buck,” you say as he sets you down. Though the tree looks kind of messy, it fits your home. You and Bucky don’t always do things the right way; you do what works. The tree has mismatched ornaments, a few burnt-out lights, and plenty of open branches, but you wouldn’t change a thing.

“I sure did.” He gazes down at you, the lights of the tree flickering in his eyes. You hold back the urge to roll your eyes at the cheesiness of his words, opting instead to reach up on your toes to kiss him. Bucky holds your face in his hands, the vibranium now warm from touching you.

When he pulls away, you’re both smiling like idiots, and you promise yourself you’ll never forget this moment. You manage to stop staring at him and turn back to the ornament bins. A flash of green catches your eye, and you pull out a glass pickle ornament. It’s a family heirloom, and of all your Christmas traditions, this one has always brought happy memories.

“Wanna play a game?” You ask, smiling down at the ornament. Bucky makes a confused sound, so you turn around and show him the ornament. He raises a suspicious eyebrow at the strange ornament.

“What game?”

“Hide the pickle,” you reply with a completely straight face. You know Bucky has a dirty mind; you’re always telling him to get it out of the gutter. He never does.

“Hide the pickle.” He repeats, emphasizing the innuendo he’s found. You bite the inside of your cheek to hide your smile and nod innocently.

“It’s tradition. We have to.” You widen your eyes to sell it, and it works. The smirk Bucky gives you tells you that you’ve won.

“Well, you know me. I never mess with tradition.”

My family used to hide a green glass pickle ornament in the tree, and all the kids would have to look for it. We weren't allowed to touch the tree, and if you found the pickle you'd win a special prize.

Even though I don't celebrate with my family anymore, I force my friends to look for a pickle ornament and I buy them hot chocolate if they win :)

Tagged: @peaches1958

[ptergwen]

no sleep

pairing: singer!reader x tom holland || w/c: 1.6k

warnings: swearing and many many many suggestive jokes

summary: you’re on jimmy kimmel to talk about your music, but he has other plans

a/n: y’all i’ve literally always wanted to write singer!reader and this idea just came to me and i had to get it out because it’s so cute :,) i really hope ya like it

-

jimmy kimmel invited you onto his show to promote a single from your upcoming album. you stepped out of the spotlight for a while, so this is your first official appearance of the year.

“my first guest tonight...” there’s a cheer from the audience. you grin to yourself, waiting for jimmy to finish announcing you.

“you wanna say it for me?” he chuckles and stands your picture up on his desk. “my first guest tonight surprised fans this morning with her new single ‘no sleep.’ it’s currently number one in over seventy countries.” jimmy holds for applause, which you get a ton of. you cover your hot face with your hands.

“she’s here to talk to us about the song and her short hiatus. please welcome y/n y/l/n!”

the music plays while you walk onstage, followed by more cheers and clapping. you’re beaming as you wave to everyone. you give jimmy a quick hug and exchange hello’s over the noise.

you’ve been in the industry for a few years, but you’ll never get used to responses like this. all the love really warms your heart.

“thank you!” you giggle out, taking your seat on the couch. the audience yells some more when the music dies out. “thank you so much! oh my god,” you make a face at jimmy, who laughs and gestures to everyone. “they clearly hated the song,” he jokes to you. “i was gonna say,” you agree, smoothing your dress down.

you look out at the crowd with a pout. “no, seriously. you guys are so cute.” jimmy copies your pout, earning a playful eye roll from you.

you’ve been on the show a couple of times before, so you two are friendly. tom has also brought you to chill backstage with him when he was a guest. you would’ve brought him this time if he wasn’t away for filming.

“so, you took most of the year off from making music,” jimmy starts the actual conversation. “mhm, i did,” you hum and cross one of your legs over the other. “how was that? was it weird not being in the studio?” you scrunch your face up, then he adds another question. “what did you actually do with yourself?”

“i mean, music is obviously a big part of who i am. making it, loving it, all that stuff.” a small smile crosses your face. “so, yeah. it sort of felt like something was missing at first.” jimmy nods along, you shrugging one of your shoulders.

“at the same time, i really needed to take a minute and just breathe. come back with my shit more together. i think i have,” you let out a reflective sigh. “it didn’t have anything to do with your boyfriend? a mr. tom holland?” jimmy teases, you waving a hand at him. “no, don’t give him all the credit.”

your break genuinely was for yourself. no one needs to know that tom was also off, or that he spent all his free time with you. that was just a plus.

“are you sure? because, it seemed like you two were getting really cozy.” a picture from your instagram pops up on the screen. it’s of tom under a blanket. he’s reaching out for you with a lazy smile. you lean over on the couch so you’re off camera, another giggle escaping you.

jimmy flips to another picture. “that was exhibit A. here’s exhibit B.” the whole audience coos, jimmy raising his eyebrows at you. this one is a mirror selfie from tom’s instagram. your arms are slung around his neck from behind, and half your face is hidden. tom is doing his signature eye crinkling smile into the camera.

“aren’t they just adorable?” jimmy asks the audience, making them erupt in more cheers. you sit up again and clear your throat. seeing those is bittersweet for you. “he’s very cuddly. anyway, back to the music!” you do a small clap. little do you know, there’s much more to come.

“yes, yes. back to the music. talk to me about ‘no sleep.’” the song is one hundred percent about tom. you’re not sure you should say that, considering the... explicit content in it. you and tom did get very cozy over your break, as jimmy would say. it was the only time you weren’t relaxing.

“well,” you plaster on an overly happy smile. that earns more laughter from jimmy. “it’s about what you do in bed when you’re, um, not sleeping,” you explain. “and who do you do those things in bed with?” jimmy glances up at the screen again. “you’re choosing violence today, jimmy,” you say under your breath.

there’s a chuckle from backstage that sounds eerily similar to tom’s. it must have been a PA. all this talk about him is seriously fucking with your head.

“well, everyone in my life inspires my work in some way. they’re such angels,” you dodge the question, thinking you’re clever about it. jimmy won’t let you get off that easy. “friends? family?” he asks you. “yeah, everyone,” you exhale in relief. jimmy widens his eyes at you. “so, that means ‘no sleep’ is about your mom?”

your mouth falls open. he’s really going to make you spill the details of your sex life.

“what the fuck, no!” you squeal, looking out into the audience for help. they join in your laughter. “it’s about tom,” you finally confirm so jimmy doesn’t suggest anything else. “it’s about tom, my god. next topic.” you’re smiling despite yourself.

“why? don’t you wanna tell us more about your lover?” jimmy glances off to the side. what is going on back there? you sit up straighter in your spot. “no, this is my interview!” you’re half joking, half serious.

although you and tom aren’t private at all, you’ve never talked about him this much. it’s overwhelming. besides that, this is making you miss him a lot.

“that’s too bad. we thought... we thought you might like to share it,” jimmy is already grinning about whatever he has planned. this isn’t supposed to be part of your segment. “huh? i’m literally so lost.” you furrow your eyebrows at him, lowering your voice. “we didn’t talk about this.”

he pats the arm of your couch. “they say there’s no time like the present. ladies and gentlemen, tom holland!”

on cue, tom runs out from backstage. the audience practically roars with how loud they are. people even jump out of their seats. you clasp a hand over your mouth in pure shock. this feels like a prank, like jimmy is about to say sike. then, tom comes up to the couch. you almost fall over, jimmy proudly watching on.

tom grins so wide it takes up his whole face. “happy release day,” he murmurs as you get to your feet. you’re not able to speak just yet, only staring up at him with glossy eyes. he brings you into a tight hug. his hands rub up and down your back, your arms snaking around his middle.

“tommy,” you try to whisper the nickname. you forgot your microphone is on. everyone “aw’s” at you both, including jimmy. “my love,” tom’s lips brush your cheek briefly. “hi, baby,” he speaks into your ear. you hide your face in his button up while he rocks you side to side.

he’s been away for a couple of months working on the third spider-man. this is the first time you’ve seen him since he left.

“shouldn’t you be in atlanta?” you ask louder this time for the audience to hear. you’re still doing an interview. “today’s a big day. i had to see you,” tom gives you one last squeeze. “in person,” he adds, before you can say you already facetimed.

the fact that him and jimmy put this whole thing together is making you emotional. you’d be fully crying if you two were alone right now.

“she doesn’t want you here, though. remember?” jimmy chimes in, tom breathing out a laugh. he sadly lets go of you. you flop back onto the couch, tom pointing behind him with his thumb. “i’ll just be on my way. five hour flight, no big deal.” “no, no, no, no. stay,” you whine and make grabby hands at him.

that’s all it takes for tom to slip into the spot next to you. he bites back a smile, putting an arm around you and the couch. you don’t want to annoy everyone with too much pda, so you subtly curl into his side. the people actually love you and tom together. jimmy claps his hands.

“we’ll be right back with y/n y/l/n and tom holland!” he says into the camera, the band playing more filler music. he steps out from behind the desk to greet tom. tom stands up, the two of them giving each other pats on the back. the camera stops rolling.

“hey, man. thanks for doing this,” tom puts a hand on jimmy’s arm. “anything for the happy couple. i’m gonna get some water, see you in five.” jimmy shoots you another smile on his way to his dressing room. you return it. that leaves you and tom to yourselves.

“baby,” you say in a sing song voice, dropping your head onto tom’s shoulder. “i’m so happy you’re here. i real life almost peed when you came out.” tom snakes his arm around your waist. “that would be upsetting,” he mumbles, his index finger drawing circles on you. “it would’ve ruined your very pretty dress.”

“you like it?” you knowingly tug at the form fitting material. tom shifts in his spot. “i’ll tell you what,” he leans in closer to you with a smirk, his breath tickling your ear. “we’re getting no sleep tonight,” he sings from the chorus of your song. you burst into a giggle and squeeze your eyes shut.

he ends up being right.

[donghyuckcuyhgnod]

[11:47 pm]

“holy fuck, donghyuck,” you pant, your eyes rolling back into your head in a state of pure bliss. hyuck grunts above you, his hands planted firmly on your hips as he thrusts into you. his pace is purely brutal, knocking the wind right out of you and nearly leaving you speechless.

“i fuck you so good. don’t i, baby?” he says, his voice thick with lust and pleasure. you can barely speak, only muttering incoherent words of appreciation, all of which are completely swallowed by your moans and whimpers. donghyuck deeply chuckles, “can’t even speak right, huh? you feel so fucking good, baby.”

you’re not sure how you got in this position. your innocent gesture of bringing hyuck takeout after a long day in the studio had somehow turned to this. he was alone, wanting extra time to finish up his recordings and things he wanted to fix. he had called you, saying that he probably wasn’t going to be home any time soon. and you knew that your boyfriend would be way too caught up on his tasks to even think about dinner. so you brought him some kimchi stew and fried eels from his favorite restaurant.

you had walked in the studio with a cheery smile on your face and the food in hand, a joyful dinner is served! catching your boyfriend’s attention. before you could even take the food out of the bag, donghyuck had practically jumped out of the recording booth and nearly knocked you over in a fit of intimacy. his lips had immediately attached to your neck, his hands squeezing your sides with impatience.

“i need you, baby. so fucking bad,” he panted, and it was then you noticed the hard-on he was sporting in his pants. your breath hitched in your throat, all thoughts instantly wavering from the delicious food in the bags. his eager hands and desperate words had you peeling off your clothes in no time, much to donghyuck’s appreciation.

“oh my god, hyuck!” you nearly scream as you grab onto his wrist, moaning in ecstasy at how good your boyfriend fucked you. his thrusts are strong and deep, hitting that spot every single time. you feel the knot in your stomach tightening as each second passes by, one of his hands reaching up and grabbing your hair. with a tight grip, he pulls you up and against his chest and that’s all it takes for you to come undone around him.

this, your third orgasm in twenty minutes, sends a shock to your body as your legs shake and your eyes begin to water. donghyuck takes a tight hold of your waist, keeping you up on your feet as his hips grow impatient and sloppy. one last whimper of overstimulation from your pretty lips, and donghyuck lets go with a groan of your name.

it’s quiet for a minute, the both of you catching your breaths as you calm down from your highs. donghyuck silently slips out of you, ridding of the dirty condom and pulling his sweatpants back up. he then takes a tissue from the producer’s table, cleaning you up as well and dressing you. he places a chaste kiss on your exposed shoulder before gently putting your shirt back onto your torso.

“how do you feel?” he asks in a low whisper, latching his arms around your middle as he sits in the producer’s chair, pulling you down with him and onto his lap. you let out a breathless laugh, lolling your head back and onto his shoulder.

“are you seriously asking me that right now? i should be asking you how the hell you got so worked up before i got here! but to answer your question—baby, that was the best quickie i’ve ever had,” you say, causing a proud chuckle to escape your boyfriend’s lips.

“good, i’m glad. and to answer your question,” donghyuck says, placing a kiss on your cheek before he continues. “we’re working on a ballad song about love for the new album. and since i’m the only one in a relationship,” he trails, “they asked me to write it.” he finishes with a sigh, pulling you closer to his chest.

you laugh, “very sweet, but you still didn’t answer my question.” donghyuck looks at you with furrowed brows, a questioning look on his face. “how in the world did you get so worked up and so horny when writing a love song about me?” you say in disbelief, a teasing smile on your lips as he shrugs.

“well, i started off thinking about the things that i love about you. and i could only jot down two things before the only thing left was your tits,” he says, earning a scoff from you and a light slap to the shoulder. he laughs, his eyes crinkling in joy as he traps you in his arms and preventing you from hitting him any more.

“i’m kidding, i’m kidding. after getting about half of the song done, i started thinking about how much i missed you. and then my mind just. . . went elsewhere,” he states matter-of-factly, playfully taking your earlobe between his teeth as you giggle at him.

“of course it did, you horndog!”

“y’know what rhymes with horndog? corndog. and speaking of, what’d you get for dinner?” donghyuck asks eagerly, spotting the bags of food on the table across the room. you laugh at him, “kimchi stew and fried eels. your favorite,” you state, and your boyfriend gasps in amazement as he places a sloppy kiss on your lips. “you are the love of my life, you know that?” he says, pushing you off of him and rushing over to the food.

you scoff, “will you at least show me what you have so far for the song?” you plead, helping him take out the food. donghyuck only laughs, “of course, baby.”

—

the next morning, you and donghyuck awake to the sound of your boyfriend’s phone ringing. groaning in grogginess, he releases his hold on your body and reaches over towards the nightstand. picking up the phone, he answers with an annoyed what could you possibly want at seven in the morning, mark lee? you could hear mark through his phone easily due to your close proximity, listening in on the boys conversation as you rubbed circles in donghyuck’s back, nearly putting him back to sleep.

“shut up, haechan. i just called to tell you that you left the recording button on all night. you have to remember to turn it off, idiot,” mark says, and at this, you and donghyuck exchange worried glances. you shoot up from your spot, looking down at your scared boyfriend with wide eyes.

“ask him if he listened to it!” you mouth in worry, your boyfriend nodding and immediately repeating those words back to his best friend.

mark seems perplexed at the urgency in donghyuck’s voice. “uh, no? well, i was listening to it but it was just you talking to yourself about the lyrics,” mark laughs, a sigh of relief coming from both you and your boyfriend. “but if there’s more of your vocals for the other songs, i’ll listen. hold on, lemme skip thirty minutes—“ before donghyuck could even get a word out, the sudden sound of last nights activities resonate throughout the phone call, and what you assume to be the studio that mark was in. and no doubtedly some other members, and maybe even the producers.

your moans and the sound of skin slapping against skin were clear as day, and it seemed mark was in shock before the words take my cock like a good girl were heard. mark screams, and you can clearly hear yells and laughs of other men in the studio before the recording subsided.

“haechan! why in the world would you have sex in the studio!? with the mic recording!?” you hear taeyong yelling in the distance, his voice full of amusement.

“i didn’t know it was on!” your boyfriend yells in defense, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. donghyuck covers his face in pure disbelief. “holy shit,” he mutters to himself.

“yeah, that’s it. you’re not aloud in the studio alone anymore,” mark says in a state of pure shock. “bye, haechan. i hate you,” mark states flatly before hanging up the phone. a moment of silence goes by, the two of you reflecting on what the fuck just happened.

“why do i kinda want them to listen to it? you sounded so hot.”

“lee donghyuck!”

[howggswouldreact]

📏 The Only Tall Maknae | Wonyoung

Request: hii can i request an izone wonyoung jealous cuddles scenario with shorter fem!reader? thank uu Plot: Wonyong and the small idol Fem!Reader are in a relationship. During MAMA, Wonyoung gets jealous of her girlfriend. Words: 2,661 Genre: fluff Notes: tried to write it in a way that was closer to the thoughtless attitude of teenagers inexperienced in having a relationship as idols. there are spaces for prequels or part two, maybe. if you want, send me a plot and i will write more from this universe! hope you like it! have a nice week!

Wonyoung was happy to be at MAMA again. What made her even happier, in addition to performing and receiving all the love from Wizones, was that you were there, with her. Not exactly with her, since the location of the tables was made so that her group and yours were somewhat distant, but you both were there, giving sneaky glances at each other and dancing excitedly during more animated performances by groups you liked. You had to control yourselves, trying to be discreet, even though almost all the idols in your circle of friends already knew your closeness was something more. There were cameras there and they weren't kind at all.

You met through friends and have been dating for almost a year. Staying with her took away all your tiredness, reinvigorated your energies and left you with a happiness never felt before. She was the most beautiful and adorable girl in the world. And you were lucky to be her girlfriend. Very lucky.

Your group had made the second comeback in a year and, for the first time, your schedules were proximate. You were doing your best and she was doing her best, and you were able to meet in the meantime.

You just didn't expect to be nominated for Best New Female Artist, but Wonyoung was rooting for you, and when it came time to announce the winning group, you focused on her again and sighed.

"You are just a silly in love.", Soojin's voice sounded low in your ear, clearly mocking your "heart eyes" towards Wonyoung.

You felt your cheeks getting hot. The pros and cons of being a maknae... even though you were spoiled in many moments, your group really liked to make jokes about how you lost the bossy pose when you were with your girlfriend. And also the difference between your height and hers. It was extremely evident! But you loved it, after all, you could hide your face on her neck while you hugged.

"I'm not silly!", you said, smiling.

You turned your face to the stage, where the MC's were about to read the name of the award-winning female group.

Your eyes met Wonyoung's for a moment, looking for strength in case your group didn't win, and you gave her a bigger smile, getting back the most beautiful smile in the world.

Until they announced the name of your group.

There was a round of applause and you were a little lost, in shock, looking at your group mates for answers. Did you imagine things or did you really win? Your expression was so shocked that, at the same time, several fans were already turning into a meme on the social media. Feeling goosebumps come and go through your entire body and a light tug from Soeun on your arm, you got up and went from your table to the stage.

After that, everything went very fast. The leader, Soojin, said gratitude words to the fans, the staffs, everyone who supported the group, promises to continue working hard to deliver a good message through music, etc...

Wonyoung was very proud of you and, as your group came down from the stage and went to a part on the side of it for pictures, Yujin made a joke that she couldn't understand, but it was about the two of you. She looked at Eunbi as if she was seeking approval to come to you, but Eunbi was in a conversation with Nako about the award.

"It was pretty obvious that they were going to win, they are the best!", Yena exclaimed, when a new presentation started.

"You guys make a couple of very powerful maknaes, despite the height difference!", Chaewon whispered, from Wonyoung's left side, making her smile.

A few minutes went by and Wonyoung wanted to be able to go directly to you to congratulate you, even if not in the warm way she would do backstage, with a very tight hug and soft kisses on your lips, calling you "my love". Looking for you at your table, Wonyoung frowned. Your whole group was there, even the prize was there with them, but where were you? Were you at the bathroom?

"Where...", Wonyoung's question died in it's beginning. A few tables on the left, there were you. Holding another girl's hands. And that was enough for Wonyoung to feel her cheeks flush with jealousy and her heart sinking into her chest.

"I can't wait to take several selfies with it! It's so beautiful!", whispered Yein beside you, thinking about the award that was in Soojin's hands.

You nodded as you went up the stairs, until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Turning aroung, shoulders and a smile that formed an enlarged heart were the first things that took over your vision, indicating that the person who called you was tall. You focused your gaze on the face, raising your head, and realized that the owner of the smile was Yeeun, as known as J, a member of StayC. And your friend and classmate.

"Hey!", she greeted you, still smiling, and held your hands. "You rocked up there! I only got time to listen to your group's album yesterday, but it's really good! Congratulations on the award!"

"Oh, thank you so much!", you came a little closer to her to allow the girls to go up the narrow stairs. "I'm in love with your album too. ASAP always manages to make me very happy, even on days when my mood is not... good."

You were not praising each other for no reason, you had known each other long enough to not need formal praises.

"I know how hard you and your group worked for it and it was really deserved.", she had a caring glow in her eyes. "I know I haven't been on this idol journey for a long time but if you need anything, I'm here. I know there may be some difficulties but we will get through them together!"

"You can count on me too, Yeeun. This is not easy at all, but we are managing to achieve our dream almost together! Can you believe it?", you said, smiling excitedly.

Until you felt the lighting of the place get a little darker.

Yeeun's eyes landed on a spot above your head. You turned around to see the reason why there was a shadow on you, and there she was. Your girlfriend.

Yeeun greeted Wonyoung, bowing, while she was standing there, beautiful and in that black outfit full of sparkles that left you mesmerized since the beginning of her presentation.

"Hello, bab-sun-babe-nim!", you stuttered, impacted by the beauty of your girlfriend.

Almost calling her "babe", you tried to fix it by calling her (actually trying to call her) sunbaenim. Even though Yeeun knew about your relationship (you had already told her since you were friends), you didn't want any strangers to know. And that place was full of cameras and ears everywhere. It was risky. But your correction to the soft nickname you used to call her only made Wonyoung raise an eyebrow. There was something in her eyes and you knew it wasn't because of the makeup.

Yeeun greeted her and Wonyoung used a polite education towards the girl of almost the same height, differentiating by a few centimeters almost imperceptible, but that, with you between them, made you look much younger than them, even though the three of us had almost the same age.

Wonyoung praised StayC's performance and Yeeun thanked her before saying bye to you both and heading to the table where her group was at.

You raised your hand to Wonyoung's but the tall girl crossed her arms.

"Hey, what's up?", you asked.

"Nothing.", her tone was harsh and you felt a small pain your in your chest, but she had a smile on her face. A fake smile. "I wanted to be the first to congratulate you, but someone has already done that.", The smile was still on her face, for the cameras, but the tone of voice was still kinda rude towards you. "I can't even hold your hands without hear you saying that some people might be surprised by it, but apparently it's just with me. But, congratulations on the award, Y/N. It was well deserved. The girls and I congratulate your group.", she turned and started walking in towards Izone's table.

"Hey, what's up, Wonnie?", you asked, hurrying to catch up with her, but keeping an expression of false happiness on your face.

"Nothing.", her tone of voice cut into your heart, she hadn't even bothered to turn around.

"Hey, you know I can't keep up with your stride, that's not fair."

She stopped on the stairs, in the corridor that led to where her group's table was, turning to you and you almost ran into her, taking a few steps back.

"Just don't!", her gaze on you was as hard as her voice, but the smile was wide open on her face, it was petrified there.

You stopped as you watched your girlfriend move on without looking back.

"I can really do whatever tomorrow morning, I don't care, I just need to get this sorted out as soon as possible."

"I just think it's too late for you to go there...", Soojin had some concern in her voice.

"Have you texted her yet?", Jiyoon asked, stretched out on the living room floor.

"Several times and she doesn't answer nor even reply my texts since yesterday.", you paced back and forth in front of the television.

"If you keep walking like this, we'll find petroleum," said Soeun.

You sat on the floor next to Jiyoon.

"None of the girls answer you?", asked Seojeong, stretching.

"Hyewon replied that she is in a bad mood and locked herself in the room after dinner."

"What did you do, huh?", Yein asked.

"I don't know!", you almost shout, hiding your face in your hands.

"Oh, go on then because one in a bad mood is one thing but two in bad mood in different groups is a punishment! Go, go!", Soojin pulled you by the arm to get up and started pushing you towards the door .

"But what about the manager..."

"We'll find a way to cover you up, don't worry!", Seojeong said and Soojin closed the door.

You went down the stairs, calling an uber.

"Do you know how late it is?", asked Hyewon, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"I know you don't usually sleep early, Hyewon. But it's a life-and-death situation!", you replied while removing your shoes in the lobby, only your socks on your feet.

"Death for whom? Only if it is for us, right? The sour mood she was in... I asked if she wanted salad and she almost killed me with her eyes!", with a tone of indignation, Sakura started to speak. "What did you do, huh?"

"I don't know!", you were about to cry. "Can I go and talk to her?"

The two girls nodded and you crossed the room to the hall like a bullet. When you opened the door, the room was dark and you already knew the way to Wonyoung's bed because you visited her sometimes. But instead of lying down, you knelt beside the bed, even in the dark, and whispered her name. You wanted to hold her hand but you were afraid. If she was upset with you, she probably wouldn't want you even there.

"Wonyoung?", you called again, this time in a louder tone.

"I can't believe you came here even after I treated you like that."

You didn't understand what the phrase meant.

"Can I lie down?", you asked, receiving in response Wonyoung moving her body to give you some space.

You embraced her in a hug, hoping she wouldn't reject it, even with her back to you. Again, her answer did not come in words. She held your arm around her.

"What did I do? Tell me so I won't repeat it.", your face was on her back.

"I'm feeling ashamed."

"Of me?"

"No! Of you??? Never! I'm ashamed of myself. I can't even look at you...", she confessed.

You were still confused, but you hugged her tighter. You wanted her to feel you there.

"You don't have to. You didn't do anything wrong, Wonnie..."

You heard a loudest sigh and she turned to you, resting her hand on your neck and touching your foreheads.

"I... I was an idiot. You, your group, had just won one of the most important awards of the night! I myself know how it feels to win it, I know how rewarding it is and... at the moment I-I didn't support you because I was... jealous.", you knew you shouldn't interrupt her, she was venting out. "I wish I could've hugged you and praised you... I feel so proud of you and everyting that you have achieved... but I saw you with that girl and she was holding your hands and she was smiling with such affection, I don't know what I was feeling other than jealousy.", her voice showed a little bit of anger and fragility but she kept her hand on your neck, caressing it. "I was wondering if she was special enough to show affection like that in front of so many cameras... if you liked tall maknaes and...", at that moment you laughed. "Hey, don't laugh! This is not funny at all!", she slapped you lightly on the shoulder.

"No, babe, what's funny is that you think I could have eyes for anyone but you."

"Yeah, you go ahead and think it's funny! And if it were me with, I don't know, a short maknae like you, holding her hands, wouldn't you be jealous when you saw it from a distance, without having an idea of ​​what's going on? Would it be funny?"

"Yah! I get it! Don't even make me think of you with someone else.", you took her wrist and stroked it. "Yeeun is just a friend from school and she was congratulating me. There was nothing else. There would never be. She knows about us and gives the greatest support! I just didn't get to introduce you decently because there is never enough time. I want you to see that you don't have to feel jealous because you are the only tall maknae I love. I love you. "

"I'm sorry for ruining everything and making you come here almost at the dawn. You shouldn't have come so late!", she pulled you into a tight hug. "But at the same time I'm so glad and relieved you came.", she whispered that last sentence.

"I would come at anytime.", you whispered back, kissing her cheek.

"It's too late for you to leave. What are you going to do? We can arrange everything for you to stay.", you were going to talk but Wonyoung wouldn't let you. "We can really work it out, make up a very good lie for the managers, take you back to the dorm quickly tomorrow very early. I imagine you have a lot of commitments now that you've won the award but... it's so late... and I want you to stay with me."

"Okay, I'll stay.", you replied, without thinking. "But I need some clothes to sleep."

"Okay, you can borrow Nako's pajamas."

"Hey!"

"I'm kidding!", Wonyoung laughed. "You can borrow one of mine. It'll be huge on you, but you look beautiful anyway."

Embarrassed, you hid your face on her neck and felt her presence for a while, a warm embrace full of a young love that was blooming beautifully. The next day, you would have to deal with your manager scolding you a lot, knowing he would be right, but for now, you would enjoy your time with Wonyoung. Whatever happened next, it wouldn't matter. What mattered now was to be with the only tall maknae that you loved with all your heart.