#clones not as a question of identity but as a 'jesus CHRIST what the hell is that. who would make this and more importantly WHY'

[beatcroc]

but how am i supposed to take clone-type characters in media seriously now if they aren't misshapen shambling horrors; not a reflection, but a distorted parody of the original?

[edge-lorde]

the religion of the galactic horde

“You seem reluctant to help me. But I only wish to use your weapon to bring peace to the darkest corners of the universe. (Glimmer: Peace? If you activate the Heart of Etheria, there will be no one left.) Yes. No war, no pain. Old worlds swept aside, a new beginning for the universe.” --Horde Prime explaining his motivations to Glimmer

the horde in shera was definitely inspired by Christianity and uses a lot of its imagery, the most iconic being the baptism scene. it certainly gives off the vibes of a christian or christian adjacent cult, but what is its actual doctrine? i have some thoughts about that. 

first here are what i consider to be the 3 main differences between real christianity and the horde: 

Their jesus didn't ascend to heaven. He's still with them.

They don't have a larger creator god. They worship horde prime like he is a living god but they don't believe that he created the universe.

They have no focus on the afterlife

this is going to be long.

before i begin heres the sparknotes version of christianity for anyone not familiar. I am not evangelizing this, just think of it as LORE. 

Once upon a time there was a guy named Jesus. He was the son of the one true god, who both created everything in the universe, is everywhere and knows everything, and controls the afterlife. Jesus is god born as a mortal person, sent by god to teach all of humanity the errors of their evil ways so they can repent and go to the good afterlife when they die. There're two afterlives, a good one and a bad one, heaven is the good one and its run by god and his army of angels, which are divine beings that god can send to earth to do things. The bad one is called hell. 

Anyway, in his time on earth jesus was the only person ever to never do anything bad ever (called sin). He tried to teach people how to be good but was Too Good for this Cruel World and was killed. 3 days later he came back from the dead, proving his divinity. Some time after that however, he ascended into heaven without dying, telling his followers to spread the word because hes going to be coming back. Christians today are still awaiting his return. In the meantime, christians follow his teachings left behind in holy texts. 

The crux of christianity is to get to heaven when you die, and this can only be done by following the teachings of jesus christ, believing in god, and believing that jesus was the son of god. Its a given that everyone will do bad things at some point in their lives so you're supposed to pray to god and ask for forgiveness regularly and if you really mean it then god will forgive you. 

thats the basics. 

to my first main point from above, if we posit that horde prime is the jesus equivalent of the horde religion, because hes treated as a living god, his goal is to spread his philosophy throughout the universe, then in the horde religions jesus never ascended into heaven. this would be like if jesus in our world rose from the dead and just picked up where he left off, and never died after that and was alive today. that would be pretty good proof of divinity. 

to my 2nd point, theres nothing in the show that suggests that horde prime thinks that he created the universe. this means that he did not get his divinity from anywhere but inside himself, hes not claiming that hes the rightful ruler of the known universe for any other reason besides his ideas are the best. 

the 3rd point is that the show does show horde prime or the horde caring one bit about the afterlife, save for one line from wrong hordak.

"Brother, I hope you, too, are full of only love for Horde Prime and have no crippling doubt eating at your soul."

meaning that they have the concept of the soul. which is very interesting and ill get to it, but on the whole the hordes focus seems to be on the here and now. this is a huge departure from christianity because chrisitanity is all about getting to the afterlife. that is the reason that christians are supposed to follow christ and recruit as many people as possible to do the same, because if they dont, they or other people will supposedly go to hell when they die. i say supposedly because at funerals, even if the person who died wasnt a believer, in my experience no christian would ever ever ever insinuate that someone went to hell. 

but the difference still stands. following real christian ideology is supposed to have benefits for the individual in the afterlife, while in the horde religion salvation seems to only be found by submitting to prime in this life and being either a tool that he can use to further his goal of purifying the universe or by letting him remove you from it. 

on top of all that, horde prime has the hive mind, which he uses to control the thoughts of all his followers. this means that theres no room for a bible study, no need of a holy text at all in fact, and no room for interpretation. horde prime delivers orders to your brain directly and can tell if you think anything out of line. real Christianity does have the idea that a sin that you just think about doing is as bad as actually doing it, but in the horde these thoughts can be easily discovered and punished. 

the horde religion seems to me to be a strangely secular version of christianity with only the bad parts remaining; the control, the blind faith, the certainty that you are right and everyone else is wrong, the not questioning authority. with none of the good aspects like community, and good deeds. it is a cult in the truest sense of the word, a religion that begins and ends with one person only, that person being horde prime.

so, if you take horde prime out of the equation, what, if anything, would be left? 

i find the plight of the horde clones here to be the most interesting. we know that they do have thoughts about their religion, as it was hordaks belief that he could earn his way back into horde primes god graces that kept him going all those years in despondos, and wrong hordak is distraught when he discovers that horde prime lied about krytis. 

unlike both the chipped people we see in the show and real religious converts, the clones were born into this cult that values blind obedience only, and have no prior ideology or cultural identity to fall back on when they are taken out of it. 

so to answer this question, i must add some conjecture to horde primes backstory and how the clones see themselves in horde primes universe. I already wrote up a brief backstory idea for horde prime/the clones and have it posted on here somewhere. I'm not going to dig it up but you could probably find it in the #horde prime tag on my blog if you dig hard enough. 

To summarize it though, I have it as horde prime was once a regular (bad) dude who became a cult leader under the premise of preaching peace --> he becomes disillusioned with people and even his own followers because he doesn't actually like people, he likes manipulating them. --> this and the power of being a cult leader go to his head and he starts to think that he is the only person in existence capable of living a moral life and everyone else needs to be saved from themselves, the world would be a better place if he could just make everyone's decisions for them. --> he somehow gets a hold of the technology needed to set up the hive mind, be it by inventing it himself, stealing it, finding it, or being gifted it. 

I'll pause here to address the theory that horde prime was originally an eldritch being that simply possessed a dude who would become the template for the clones. I think there's enough stuff in the show that this is a valid read and might even be canon but i don't really care for it. For me, what makes horde prime a compelling villain is that he's a very human evil, so having him actually be an evil demon thing instead of a really bad but believable dude who got near ultimate power weakens his character. BUT, i’m not going to address it in my comic so i'll leave it open as to whether he's got that going on or not. If he is, the clones don’t know about it and neither they nor the other characters have any way of discovering it. IF he is though, it would happen here. I could see it being a cool idea for him to get the hive mind from the eldritch being that would then possess him and haunt his lineage for time immemorial as a deal with the devil sort of thing, but he has to be a bad person before that.

Anyway he gets the hive mind--> he gets all of his followers to chip themselves --> gets those people to chip everyone else on his home planet --> use his planet wide army to harvest all resources on the planet and build his first space fleet and take to the skies and start his conquest--> realize that if he is to succeed hes going to need to both become immortal and find a steady source of new followers because chipped people die eventually and he doesnt care about people enough to figure out a way to keep a self sufficient population of followers alive, he just wants people around to adore him and do his bidding--> invents his cloning system-->

and heres the big one,

his original body has to die so he can upload his consciousness into a new clone.  

and THAT, to the clones, would be the moment that horde prime becomes a god.

his reliance on the hive mind and vast network of followers are what give him his godly abilities, but just as the horde clones could not exist without being cloned from horde prime, so too could horde prime not exist as he does in the show without them. 

i see it as both a christlike sacrifice and a cyclical system of debt and sacrifice. horde prime dies for our sins, so that he might continue to purify the universe so that there will be no more death and more clones will be born, while the clone hes possessing has to essentially die by giving himself up entirely to become the new prime so all this can happen too, and to repay primes death. not all clones can become the next prime however, but all must be ready to die for him, hence horde prime having clone infantries despite also having robots he could send instead. 

i dont have clear thoughts about what the green goo is, but horde primes words about his brothers lending him their life force go along with this idea. the clones give him theyre life force, so he can give it back to them.

another interesting aspect of this is that prime always portrays himself as a brother to his followers, never a father as christ is portrayed as in christianity. i know this is from hordak and horde prime being actual brothers in the 80s show but ive seen this trope come up a few times in media before, where a man raises a kid but has them call him their brother instead of dad. it seems so deliberate. because a parents job is to take care of you, but a sibling, might take care of you sure, but thats not their job. its like hes deliberately trying to place himself on the same level as his ‘sibling’ so he can demand the same amount of respect you would give to a parent without taking on the responsibility to not... ya know... screw them over in the head? idk it seems very slimy to me. but that says more about prime as a character than how the clones see him.

and we still have the concept of the soul to fit in here somehow, and do they have an afterlife? im going to say no to the afterlife. theres just not enough in the show to go off of and everything that we do know about horde prime points to him only caring about himself in life. HOWEVER, there is nothing more quintessentially christian than the concept of hell and i think that will be of use here. 

since the creation of the clones is tied with the creation of their religion, this would put the clones themselves less as allegories of people who need to be saved and more as the horde version of angels. in my telling here, horde prime views all people who do not submit to his will as net negatives to the universe who have to be removed for peace to exist, so by this view the chipped people are the saved, the people that horde prime kills are the sinners, and his military campaign is one long apocalypse slowly working its way through the universe, with the clones carrying out his righteous judgement. but the afterlife isnt involved in this, so even if some chipped people are left alive, eventually they will all die out, and then it will be just horde prime and is clones in a perfect, peaceful starless sky, and thats what heaven is. 

getting to heaven is the main goal of real christianity and it is the same in horde religion, but heaven isnt a place in the horde cosmology, its a physical goal that has to be created. not all clones will make it to heaven of course, because most will die before they reach total destruction of the universe but the clones arent supposed to think of themselves as individuals anyway. they have to be willing to die for horde prime and die for the cause or be cast out and thats hell. 

i dont see prime as someone who would kill his own followers outright too often even though he could. plus they arent supposed to value their individual lives the same way normal people do anyway it doesnt seem like a real punishment, they need something worse than simple death to fear. so by my view hell for the clones is separation from prime. it can be in life or death. no matter how bad it is in the horde being on the outside of it has to seem worse, and thats where the concept of the soul comes in. when one is a part of the hive mine, their soul is with prime. they are not supposed to have a will or any thoughts beyond love for prime, its essentially the same as not having a soul but they think of it as being at peace. being cast out is to be never at peace and would be told to them as being the worst possible thing that could ever happen to someone because it corrupts the soul. 

“a lot of unpleasant things happen in the horde so just imagine how terrible it must be outside of it! you cant because i protect you from that. now get in the goo, this is for your own good” - horde prime probably 

this is why outsiders are so resistant to submitting to primes light and also why its ok to kill them, in the hordes view. 

so, to start wrapping thigs up, there is no horde without horde prime. the religion starts and ends with him. because he is supposed to be the only person ever to be able to make true moral and just decisions, without him is followers cant take any actions without worrying that they are going against primes will. since they have no holy text they cant extrapolate and try to figure it out either. its up in the air whether or not they are going to find a way to get the horde to make the jump from cult to regular religion.

its late i got to go to bed now

[palettes-and-prompts]

Could you hit me with the sappiest lovey-est sweetest romantic prompts you can think of, please?

Okay, so, before you read these I just want you to know my idea of sappy sweet romance isn’t that great? My idea of romance is someone remembering my favorite foods and getting them for me or them doing something I don’t want to do for me (an errand/chore.) So if these aren’t what you’re looking for I 100% understand, these are just my idea of romantic prompts!

Dialogue Prompts

1) "You know, out of all the stars out here tonight I think the one that shines the brightest is you." "You are so...cheesy." 2) "I would walk to the ends of the Earth if you asked me to." "Why would I ever ask you to do that?" "I-I, it was supposed to be romantic." "Maybe you could just run a marathon or something, least that'd be for a good cause-" "I'm just saying I'd do anything for you!" "Aww, that's sweet." 3) "I made cookies." "Are they sweet?" "As sweet as you!" "I don't want your bitter cookies." 4) "I'd do anything for you." "Eat this oatmeal raisin cookie with extra raisins." "...okay..." "Are you crying?" "Yeah, just a little. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life." "Oh my god, you don't actually have to eat it." "No, I love you and I'm gonna do it." 5) "You did that for me. Why did you do that for me?" "It's not a big deal." "It is a big deal, I never asked you to and I would never ask you to so why'd you do it?" "Because we're friends. Friends do that kind of thing for each other." "You don't do those things for your other friends." "Well, maybe it's because I like you more than them." "You like me, like as more than a friend?" "Yeah, alright? I like you as more than a friend." 6) "I think I'm in love with you." "Haha! That's a good one, that's...you're not laughing...Oh shit! You're serious." "Yeah." "Oh, fuck, I didn't mean to laugh. I--the feeling is mutual! I like you too. A lot. Jesus Christ I'm terrible at this." "I think you're doing just fine." 7) "I think you'd make a really good parent. Maybe to our kids...if you want any." "You want kids with me?" "I want everything with you." 8) "We've been together for a while and I've been thinking we should take the next step in our relationship." "Getting a dog?" "Only if you're okay with it!" "Yes! Yes, I'll get a dog with you." 9) "I wanna marry you." "You can't say that every time you kiss me." "Watch me." 10) "Why is there a bouquet of corn in a fancy vase on the table?" "Because you make me feel corny." "I want a divorce." "We're not even married!" 11) "They just woke up and decided to wear my shirt today. Aren't they just so cute?" "Person A actually spilled chocolate milk on my good shirt on purpose so I'd have to wear it in front of Person B." "That's--That's not true! Why would I-" "Because you hate that they're good looking." 12) "I'm gonna marry you one day." "You're drunk." "On love!" 13) "If I die, I wanna be buried next to you." "If you die? What do you mean if? You're going to die, we're all gonna die." "Well, I plan on becoming immortal but if that doesn't happen and I don't get to live forever I'm gonna be devastated but at least I'll get to die with you." "I can't believe dying next to me is your last resort!" "Hey, no, it's not my last resort! My last resort is dying alone, you're my second option, my plan B." "WOW!!" "IN DEATH! You're my number one in life." 14) "What would you do if I died?" "Buy a Ouija board and figure out a way to bring you back." "Aww, really?" "Yeah, you're the only person I've ever loved and I'm not replacing you because I fuckin’ hate everyone else." "That's kind of romantic." "Death will never get you out of this relationship." "Less romantic...but I'll take it as you saying you love me so much you wouldn't let me go!" 15) "Do you want the last slice of pizza?" "You're letting me have the last slice?" "Yeah, I love you." "Oh fuck." "Are you crying?" "No, why would I cry over a slice of pizza, that's crazy." "God, come here." "I love you so much, you're the sweetest person in the world." "It's one slice! And you bought the pizza!" 16) "I took your car while you were sleeping and had it fixed." "What?" "You said your brakes sucked and you needed new tires. I also got an oil change while I was there. Oh, and I got it cleaned and bought you some more air fresheners." "Thanks, I'll pay you back when I get the money." "You don't have to. Knowing you'll be driving safe is payment enough." "You really went and did all that for me? Without expecting anything in return?" "Well...yeah, I--I love you. That's what people do when they love each other." 17) "I love you. So much and I treasure you and you are the most wonderful person in the world. You're kind and smart and beautiful and-" "And not calling the delivery guy and ordering food just because you don't like making phone calls." "Oh come on!" "No, I always call, I'm not always going to be here to do it." "Yeah, but...oh come on, I'll pay for it!" "Ugghhhh, okay fine." "Yes, I love you so much!" 18) "Would you still love me if I was bald?" "Of course I would, that's a stupid question." "What if I had teeth for hair?" "That would be...different but I would still love you." "What if all my skin was toenails?" "I would give you a tattoo with nail polish, and I would still love you." "What if instead of-" "I. WOULD. STILL. LOVE. YOU." 19) "Do you ever think about banging a clone of yourself?" "No but I think about banging a clone of you." "What?" "Yeah, I picture you and a clone of you in bed with me." "Why?" "I guess I just love you so much I want there to be two of you." "That's sweet but if I had a twin that would probably not be that sweet." 20) "You weren't my first love, but I know you'll be my last." "Oh god, I'm gonna need some wine and crackers with how cheesy that was." "Do you love me, even when I'm cheesy?" "Yeah, I do."

Regular Prompts

1) A has the worst day in their life and when they get home they just break down and cry. so their roommate B brings them back some ice cream they know is their favorite. A tells B that the only place they can get this particular brand is like two or three hours away and then asks them why they drove that far for them. B tells them it's no big deal but they also managed to keep it frozen the whole time. The only reason it's a big deal to A is because B doesn't really do nice things for anyone and whenever they do it always means something. 2) A's never expected anything from anyone and B wants to let them know they'll always be there for them. While A is busy with work B plans a big romantic dinner in a gazebo at night so everything's all lit up with twinkle lights. When A sees everything they just start crying because no one's ever done anything even remotely close to this for them. (Bonus if B makes it extra special by proposing.) 3) A and B are buying gifts for their anniversary and know how much the other loves a certain thing so they end up buying the same gift and giving it to each other in the same way leading their friends to see how disgustingly in love with each other they are, only solidifying how much they belong together in everyone's minds. 4) A and B have chatting online using different identities and somehow end up at the same place for vacation. They fall in love online but when they meet each other in person they can't help but fall for each other again. They feel conflicted about it but when one of them sees the other's identity somehow they realize who the person is. 5) A is a more stoic type of person who wears headphones so people wont speak to them. B is the person who falls head over heels at first sight and is constantly staring at them like they created the universe. (Bonus if when A finally notices and takes their headphones out all annoyed like "What?" B tells them they're pretty and A blushes hard before stuttering a response and leaving promptly before they come back to the same place the very next day in hopes of seeing B again.) 6) A is royalty and falls in love by watching a commoner, Person B, outside their window. B is fun and kind and loves helping people no matter who they are. Person A disguises them self to meet Person B since no one’s ever seen A apart from the people in the castle. (Bonus if when they meet B falls in love with them the second they lay eyes on them.) 7) A an B have the first words their soulmate will say on their skin. When they meet A quite literally falls into B's arms and B catches them and says something like "I always hoped the love of my life would fall into my arms but I never thought it would happen." And A says "Oh god, my soulmate's corny!") 8) A undergoes serious surgery and B is their nurse. When A is high out of their mind and they see B for the first time they're in love and constantly trying to give B their pudding and jello to win them over. B tells them they don't date patients and A never gives up and is constantly trying to win them over with jokes and asking about their interests so they can have more in common. (Bonus if B ends up kissing them because they need to give A a shot but they keep refusing because they hate needles.) 9) A and B have just started dating but haven't had their first kiss yet. When they try to kiss something happens and B breaks their nose. At the hospital A is apologizing and to shut them up B kisses them. (Bonus if when A leaves the room to get them some water or something B just holds their nose because they've been pretending it doesn't hurt but it really does.) 10) A and B have been friends for years and A's always been afraid of the ocean. One night on their friendly beach vacation B follows A to the beach because they keep leaving at night. When they get there A jumps in the water naked and just grows a tail. B watches them until they come back in and they don't mention it. B ends up falling for them from afar and researches the hell out of mermaid culture to find out how to properly court a mermaid. (Bonus if A's always liked B but likes them even more when they find out they went through the trouble of researching their culture.)

I hope you like these but if not just let me know and I’ll try again!

[ariadnelives]

Chapter 21 -- The Dossier

[Missed earlier chapters? Go catch up here! Otherwise, welcome back! Oh, and make sure to join our discord server! Chapter can also be found @ ao3”]

“So, before we start, what did we end up doing with the, uh,” Ariadne asked as the crew filed into the briefing room, “gift from our new friend?”

“The what?” Sweettalk asked.

“The head,” Sasha replied.

“Ah,” Sweettalk said, “don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to, boss.”

“Noted,” Ariadne conceded, “Spacebreather, would you care to catch the crew up on what we learned from Prescott’s dossier?”

Spacebreather nodded. “Our target is The Zealot, and we now know his true name to be Dr. C. Alexander Simon. Archival photos of him match up with the photo we received from La Pesadilla, and our friend ViLaz.” Spacebreather jerked her head in the general direction of a visibly distraught ViLaz. “Much of this information concerns ViLaz directly, so for the sake of her privacy, we will only be sharing details which she has agreed to disclose publicly. Everything else will be kept absolutely need-to-know.”

ViLaz seemed barely able to hold herself together. Tears were welling up in her eyes, which would have come as a surprise to anyone who was paying close attention to her eyes, since one of them was synthetic and no longer should have had the ability to produce tears.

Spacebreather continued, “ViLaz has been raised to believe that Dr. Simon is her biological father. Technically this is true, but not in the sense you’d expect. He is, in fact, her sole biological donor. According to Prescott’s dossier, ViLaz is one of three genetic identicals produced from Dr. Simon’s DNA.”

“So, she’s a clone?” Taryn called out.

Spacebreather wiggled her hand noncommittally. “See, that’s what I said too, I don’t really understand it, but… Ariadne?”

“Well, yes and no,” Ariadne explained. “For lack of a better term, the process used to create them could be described as ‘cloning,’ but it’s important to note that she while her DNA was taken from Dr. Simon, she does not seem to be genetically identical to Dr. Simon himself.”

ViLaz flinched at this.

Ariadne continued, “Prescott’s intel tells us that Dr. Simon’s area of expertise before his theories were discredited and the controversy surrounding his experiment forced him to retire in disgrace was the search for a way to induce biological immortality in humans or, failing that, maintain continuity of consciousness.”

Spacebreather restrained herself from smiling. “And when you finally get her to translate that from nerd, what you basically get is that he wanted to either find a way to make you live forever, or to put your brain in a new body.”

Sweettalk’s hand shot up.

Spacebreather pointed at her. “Not a classroom, ask your question.”

“That doesn’t sound all that controversial, I mean,” she said, “That just sounds like basic medical stuff. Sasha’s whole shtick is cheating death, right?”

“The concept is not what was controversial. The methods, on the other hand…” Ariadne began, glancing over to ViLaz, who was silently crying and hoped no one would notice. Everyone collectively decided to pretend they didn’t, and Ariadne continued, “he was spearheading a project that would allow a dying person to save their consciousness and memories to computer, and then, using the indoctrination tech we learned about from La Pesadilla, eventually download that mind into a new body. In order for the transplant to take, the body would have to be a close blood relative, and it wouldn’t do any good to have the new body die from the same thing as the old one, so the goal of the experiment was to create a genetically engineered clone designed to withstand whatever killed them the last time.”

“Rumor has it, Dr. Simon is not well,” Spacebreather said flatly, “some kind of terminal genetic condition that killed his father, and grandfather, and great-grandfather, and all of his relatives born with a Y-chromosome, in their 40s. Based on ViLaz’s recollection, that’s about how old our Zealot would be right around now. Our belief is that he continued his experiments after he was forced to retire, hoping to create a new host body that wouldn’t fall ill like his original body.”

“Hoping to create, as our Dossier calls it,” Ariadne paused, “a Viable Lazarus.”

The crowd murmured in shock and, again, collectively pretended to not notice ViLaz crying.

“Dear lord,” Sasha whispered, “ViLaz, I’m so—”

“Don’t call me that!” She spat back.

“I’m sorry,” Sasha said quietly, and backed off.

“My visions of the Red God always told me that I was to be his vessel in the material world,” ViLaz explained, wiping her tears off on her sleeve, “he said that my father’s body was too weak and infirm, and that he needed a strong healthy vessel to carry his word to the people.”

“Jesus Christ,” Ariadne said, “the whole time you knew you were being used as an… an organ farm?!”

“The Red God told me I was to be his prophet,” ViLaz replied. “It just all seems a little too coincidental, if the Red God spent all those years telling me to give up control of my body, and now I find out my father created me as a host for himself. It’s… blasphemous that he would use an ancient and beautiful religion just to manipulate people like this.”

There was a fairly stunned silence through the entire hall, which is more or less to be expected whenever someone’s religious beliefs, or lack thereof, suddenly become a central fixture in a conversation where they were not expected. Of course, in most situations, it would simply be a matter of opinion, and most people would simply let it slide rather than get into a theological debate that no one could ever possibly definitively win.

Ariadne had two reasons for not letting this particular statement slide. The first was that she was a very passionate Atheist, and unfortunately had a rather nasty habit of being somewhat condescending when discussing it, especially towards those who still subscribed to the religion she practiced as a young girl. The second, and the much more important reason was that ViLaz’ statement about her religious beliefs was objectively, factually incorrect.

“V— Sugar …” Ariadne caught herself before using the name that would remind ViLaz of her father’s machinations, and knelt down to meet her gaze, “first of all, people have been using religion to manipulate people since the first caveman found a rock to worship. Second, I hate to break this to you, but the Red God cul— church— is not an ancient religion.”

ViLaz looked confused and upset. “What?”

“The earliest written references to it are in the last few years,” Ariadne said, “most of the scripture we’ve gathered just seems like watered down Christian Dogma, we think that’s why he had all those Church documents and artifacts. He was studying the growth of an effective religion so that he could pervert it to his own ends. His servants just told you it was an ancient religion to put the pressure on to do what he wants.”

Something dropped within ViLaz, as though she’d just looked at her entire world from a distance only to realize it was nothing more than a rubber balloon floating five feet in front of her face.

“The Red God really was just him all along, wasn’t he?”

Ariadne sensed that she had perhaps been too blunt, and quickly tried to turn the conversation around. “Come on, let’s get you to the library. Fastwing?”

“Yeah boss?” Alicia asked from somewhere near the end of the crowd.

“Take… our young friend to the library, find her a really good book, read it with her, and help her pick out a new name. I think there’s a lot more to her than just a Viable Lazarus, and I think she deserves a name that captures that.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Alicia said, and walked up to ViLaz. “Come on, babe, let’s get you a nice cocoa too.”

“Cocoa?” She asked as she was ushered out the door.

“Oh man,” Alicia said, “your day is about to get so much better.”

Once they were out of the room, Spacebreather continued the briefing. “The cult, the whole religious aspect, was just a front to get more test subjects. From what ViLaz has been telling us, right now he can only permanently take over one of the clones’ bodies if they consent to the transfer. But, there’s a reason why everybody who goes into the Life Centers seems to come out a suddenly devout missionary.”

Ariadne picked up here, sensing that Pilar didn’t like describing the more technical aspects of the dossier. “With the data Prescott gave us, our best guess is that the Suffering Test they administer at their life center uses the same tech from the Immersion Pods. It overwrites people’s personalities entirely and turns them into mindless zombies who live only to serve the cult. He shows them some horrible vision of the hell they’re going to, and they’re so scared they sign up for the conditioning. I’m assuming that’s how he got the Acolytes to raise ViLaz the way they did, so during our assault on their compound, let’s try to remember that it’s generally unethical to kill the mind-controlled.”

“We think he probably appropriated the name Ariadne for his prophet character in order to capitalize on our legend,” Spacebreather explained, “he probably figured there was no real Ariadne and that it was just some name punk kids gave when they were arrested, and decided that claiming to have the Real Ariadne would bring in lots of new curious people that he could subject to his brainwashing.”

Sweettalk, having taken her earlier admonishment to heart for the first time ever, spoke without raising her hand. “This is all really nice to know, but Prescott promised a Silver Bullet. How does any of this help us take him down?”

“The implants in the clones’ heads are linked to a master unit directly controlled by Dr. Simon. It’s how he was able to make ViLaz see the Red God and—” Ariadne paused for a moment and considered the ramifications of telling a partial truth, then decided to give only the information her crew absolutely needed to know, “It’s how we’re going to find him. All we have to do is reactivate the implant and with a little clever hacking thanks to yours truly, we should be able to pinpoint the other implants it’s linked to and reveal the true location of their compound. We’re going to need time to prepare, and a much larger strike force than we had at the casino. Deathsbane, I’d feel safer if you picked out an apprentice and started showing her the ropes, we’re going to need a medic on the ground and another on call in the ship with Fastwing.”

“Sasha will remain in the ship, her apprentice can join us in the assault.” Pilar said flatly.

“I thought we were past this,” Ariadne sighed, “we got kidnapped and she got arrested last time you—”

“And last time we let her go planetside with us, someone died.”

Sasha turned bright red, which Sweettalk noticed and felt a near-compulsive urge to defend her. “Nobody that mattered! And besides, you can’t possibly blame her for—”

“Do me a favor and shut your goddamn mouth, Sweettalk,” Spacebreather said.

Sweettalk was taken aback, but stood up and tried to stretch to Pilar’s height. “What did you just say to me?”

Sasha was somewhat stressed. Her sister was wrong, but she still didn’t want to see her get punched, especially not when she already held such a grudge against Sweettalk as it was.

Ariadne desperately wanted to keep the peace, so she attempted reason again. “Remember what Beam said—”

Pilar swung around to face Ariadne and held up her index finger to cut her off. “I… Said… No… End of discussion.”

Spacebreather then stormed out of the room, leaving everyone too stunned to respond.

Sasha stood up. “Thank you for standing up for me,” she said to Sweettalk and started walking toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Sweettalk asked.

“I’m finally standing up for myself.”

[wheneveryourereddie]

The Heart Wants What It Wants

Inspired by this edit 

Read on AO3 

Summary: Richie and Mike are twins but couldn’t be anymore opposite. Even though Mike is happy with his relationship with Jane (Eleven), he can’t get his brother’s boyfriend out of his head.

Warning: There is this thing called ANGST near the end, so yeah, there’s that.

A/n: I’M STILL A REDDIE SHIPPER! PLUS MILEVEN IS ALL THE FUCKING WAY! I just saw this edit from instagram and I thought it was a cool idea, besides all the angst.

——————

Richie and Mike maybe identical twins, but they couldn’t be anymore opposite then each other. Richie would always be coming up with the most ridiculous ideas while Mike would be needing to calm him down somehow. Even the way they dressed was different! Richie always had his glasses and Hawaiian shirts and ripped jeans. Mike could just be easily found wearing his navy blue hoodie or a decorated sweater and normal jeans. The two do love each other, they just don’t show it much.

“Did you do the homework?” Dustin hoped, pulling out his notebook.

“Yeah, it’s due next lesson,” Will nodded.

“Shit!” Dustin curse as he messily scribbled down something.

“You do this every time with English!” Lucas exclaimed.

Dustin groaned, “I’m sorry, but since when do I need to know Shakespeare’s work on Romeo and Juliet in my life!?”

“Right now would be a great time!” Max groaned.

“What does he do?” Jane asked confused.

“Leave his homework to the last minute as some sort of statement,” Lucas tried to explain.

“Jesus Christ!” Dustin sighed, “Mike, back me up here!”

Mike wasn’t listening to their stupid argument. His mind was far away from what was going on in front of him. Instead, Mike was watching something completely different. His attention was drawn towards his twin brother, Richie and his little boyfriend.

Of course, Richie had once again somehow injured himself. Only god knows how he did it, but there he was with Eddie. The two were sitting on the staircase of the school halls while others past by them. Richie was going on about something he probably saw while Eddie would make a comment here and there.

“Mike? Earth to Mike Wheeler?”

The last bandage went on and Eddie let out a sigh of relief. Richie smiled as he laced his fingers within Eddie’s little fingers. A small smile formed on Eddie’s lips, leaning his head onto his boyfriend’s shoulder. Mike saw his brother say something stupid, earning a disgusted face from the smaller figure. Laughter erupted from Richie as Eddie chuckled along with him.

“Jesus fucking Christ! Mike!”

It didn’t take long for Richie to soon start placing kisses on the side of Eddie’s face. That’s where Mike ruled the line. His eyes darted way from the happy couple. His gut was getting all twisted and jumbled up from what he saw. Mike clenched his jaw as he tried to forget the memory.

He had no idea why the hell he’s been feeling like this for a while. The Wheelers have known the Kaspbraks since kindergarten, they were cabin buddies in the 4th grade! It was just that Richie ended up being the gay, well bi, one of the family. With that, he found out the guy he liked was gay and thought fuck it. Mike knew Eddie was gay, and into guys like Richie for some reason. Hell, Mike wasn’t anywhere near gay, let alone bi like Richie! So then why the living fuck can’t he get Eddie out of his damn mind!

“oh my GOD! MIKE WHEELER!”

“What!?” He finally gave them the attention.

“Lucas is yelling at me for not doing my English homework, but in reality I won’t be needing it in the future!” Dustin tried to catch him up. “Now! Could you please explain to Lucas that there is no reason to study it.”

“You guys are freakin’ children,” Mike rolled his eyes.

“No we’re not!”

“We’re all children, you idiot,” Max corrected them. “We’re still under the age of 18.”

Dustin shook his head in annoyance, “You guys are fucking useless,” stuffing his notebook back into his backpack.

Will looked around, trying to find a clock, but stumble upon something almost illegal, “oh god.”

“What?” Max asked, looking in the same direction. “Is your brother trying to swallow him?”

Mike looked over, only to regret it later in advance. Richie’s arms were wrapped around the smaller figure as he pulled Eddie closer to him. Eddie had both hands on Richie’s face, trying to steady the hormonal boy. Meanwhile, both the boys looked like they were trying to eat each other until one is gone. Mike really wanted to stop the two, he really did, but he knew once he goes over he’ll never hear the end of it.

“Just ignore them,” Jane pulled Mike away.

Lucas, “yeah guys, just ignore them.”

“How about as revenge, dress up as Richie and try to make out Eddie,” Dustin thought.

“And this is why I come up with the ideas,” Lucas sighed.

“Even if I could, or wanted to,” he won’t lie, Mike did want to, just to see what it was like, “Richie tried dressing up as me for halloween, thought I was so emo it would be scary.”

“Did it work?” Will asked.

“He burnt himself with Nancy’s straightener and couldn’t even leave the house without bumping

into something.”

“Why?”

“Probably because a bat can see God compared to Richie!”

The party all nodded and tried to ignore the two. It was like a gift from the Lord when the bell rang. The group disbanded to the classes they had next. Mike, being the gentleman he is, he walked alongside Jane to her next class.

“Are you alright?”

“What?” Mike asked, confused.

“When Lucas and Dustin were arguing, you kept on looking at Eddie and Richie,” Jane explained. “You didn’t look happy.”

“I was just grossed out by them,” Mike shrugged off. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Jane asked, a little more hopeful this time.

Mike gave his girlfriend a warning smile, “trust me, I’m alright.”

Jane returned the smiled, then gave him a quick peck before skipping off to her next class. Mike smiled and continued his journey to his own class. That’s when it clicked. Oh shit, Eddie was in his next class.

~~~

“Why is Richie’s t-twin staring at you?” Bill asked, looking behind them.

“I don’t know,” Eddie looked behind him.

Oh god, Mike was full on staring at him. It took Mike a few seconds to realise Eddie made eye contact with him. He shuffled in his chair then starting paying attention to the lector. Eddie rolled his eyes as he pull his phone out.

“Wh-wah-what are you doing?” Bill asked.

“Texting him,” Eddie laid his phone out flat on the table, “cover me.”

Edd K: u need 2 stop starin

Mike’n Ikes: i wasnt starin!

Edd K: bullshit! u left scars on my head!

“What’s he saying?” Bill asked.

“Nothin’ yet,” Eddie sighed.

Edd k: why u starin’ anyways?

Mike’n Ikes: ur big head iz in da way

“Mr. Kaspbrak!” The teacher erupted, making poor little Eddie jump. Her heels clicked against the titles as she strutted forward towards the boys. Her hands were glued to her hips, “texting in my class?”

“I was texting him!” Mike stood up.

The teacher turned around, her stand becoming more strong, “and why would that be?” Mike hesitated, he couldn’t think of a lie right on the spot. “Well Mr.Wheeler?”

There was nothing but complete silence within the air. It would’ve possible to hear a pin drop.

“Still nothing?”

“No, ms.”

“Then how about continuing your conversation in the principal's office?”

“What?” Mike questioned. “Ms, come on!”

“Now!” Then turned back to Eddie, “You too Eddie.”

All Eddie did was groan and flung his backpack over his shoulder. Mike did the same thing and followed Eddie down the hall.

The two boys sat in complete silence, probably planning on how to kill each other. Mike had his backpack by his feet and his hands in his jacket. Eddie had one leg over the other, twiddling his thumbs in stress. Fumes were leaving Eddie’s ears in smoke.

“My mom’s gonna kill me!” Eddie sighed, running a hand through his comb hair.

“Sucks to be you then!” Mike groaned.

“This is your fault!”

“No, it’s not!”

“If you just paid attention, none of this would’ve happened!” Eddie started.

“I told you! Your giant head was in the fucking way!”

“We were on completely different sides of the class!”

“You’re annoying!”

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up Einstein!”

The door opened as a student left the room. It wasn’t surprising that it was Richie himself leaving the principal's office. What was surprising was finding his boyfriend and his brother there though.

“Wait there for a few minutes boys,” the administration instructed, then closed the door.

A smirk grew on Richie, “oh my holy shit!” His smile grew bigger. “What did my little bro and little spaghetti do?”

It was almost like on command, the two said together, “he did it.”

“Woah,” Richie chuckled. “You gotta explain at lunch!”

“I will,” Eddie sighed. “I’ll see you later.”

“See ya,” Richie pecked his cheek, then turned to his brother, “you’re fucked.”

“Piss off,” Mike hissed.

“Whatever you say, little bro,” he smirked, then walked off.

“You’re only older by 8 seconds!”

~~~

“He hasn’t been acting up!”

“Richie! He has!” Eddie tried to get his message across. “He’s been staring at me a lot more the usual, tries to start conversations with me, more touchy-,”

“Touchy!?” Richie stood up properly against the lockers. “How touchy? Touchy as in hand holding, or as in wants to have a taste of your special sauce?”

“Richie!”

“I’m only asking Eds!” Richie defended for himself. “I’ll talk to him.”

“A, stop call me that & B, I better do it,” Eddie groaned.

“You sure? Cause I’ve been told we look almost like clones?” Richie was going on. “You could mistake him for me, and then that could lead to you being on your hands and knees like the other night!”

“Richie! I’ve known the both of you for god knows how long!” Eddie tried to calm him down. “I’ve got it.”

“Ah, Fine!” Richie slouched against the lockers. “I guess I won’t be your knight in shining armour!”

“You aren’t even a Knight!” Stan walked up to the couple, along with Bill and Beverly. “Let alone one in shining armour.”

“Wow, thanks, Stan!” Richie pulled a fake smile, the flipped him off.

“What did the p-principal say?” Bill asked.

“Principal?” Bev asked. “What happened Eddie?”

“Richie’s brother, that’s what happened.”

“Don’t worry Little Eds!” Richie smiled. “I’ve already got my revenge plan.”

“I said I was gonna talk to him.”

~~~

He knew where to go. This place was special to them, the three of them. Now it was different. They grew up and moved on to other things. Yet, whenever one of them is asked to meet here, then it defiantly serious.

This was those times.

Eddie waited for him there. His hands were constantly shaking in fear. The tension was already high in the thick air. He couldn’t wait anymore, where the hell was he?

The sound of gravel being pushed around startled him. Footsteps got louder the closer they came to Eddie. A tall figure took his seat next to Eddie on the log. The two did not make any eye connection whatsoever. Now it was time.

“I called you every night.”

“Yeah, I saw.”

“And did nothing!?” Mike asked, almost sounding heartbroken.

“What was I supposed to do?” Eddie finally looked over to Mike. “It was one stupid kiss, Mike!” Eddie stood up. “We were forced to kiss, remember?”

“Yes!” Mike stood up too. “Very clearly!”

“But that was months ago,” Eddie’s voice was more gentle now. “Mike. Ever since that damn party you’ve been acting differently towards me.”

“I know,” Mike sighed his bottom lip quivering, “and I fucking hate it.”

“If you continue this, Jane’s gonna find out,” Eddie tried to convince him.

Mike licked his lips, “she did this morning.”

“What did she asked?”

“That I was alright,” Mike hesitated, “because I saw you and Richie together, on the stairs.”

Eddie remembered that, oh so very clear. He just didn’t consider who was watching. He and Richie were too caught up in the moment to even care if a teacher had seen them. If only he was cautious a few hours ago.

“Mike,” his voice was soft but broken, “What I need right now is an explanation, not a full one, but at least an idea on what the hell is going on with you!”

“You wanna know!?” Mike cracked. “I wish I knew too!” Eddie was taken by his sudden outburst. “I wanna know why you’re always on my mind! I wanna know why it hurts so much me seeing you and Richie together! I wanna know why I want Richie to hurt you so I could be there for you! THE LIST GOES ON EDWARD KASPBRAK!” Mike had grown sick of this pain, now he was letting go of it. Tears started to drip down his cheeks and onto the gravel. “I wanna know why I’ve felt like this since that damn night.”

Eddie pressed his lips together as he swiped his tears away with his sleeve, “so what? Are you gay now or something ?”

Mike huffed, “I don’t know if this makes me gay, or bi or whatever the hell people want to identify them with these days.” Mike stepped closer to Eddie, the air getting thicker. “All I know is that, whatever these feelings are, there for you.”

“Mike,” Eddie sighed as he tried to hide more of the tears, “you know I can’t accept this, even if I wasn’t dating Richie or if I just wanted to.”

“I know,” Mike let out another tear. “I can’t force you to.”

“I love Richie, you’re twin.”

“That’s the only thing we have in common, besides our looks,” Mike chuckle. “We both love you.”

Another tear left Eddie’s sore eyes, “I really am sorry, Mike.”

Mike nodded, “it’s okay.”

“Goodbye, Mike.”

“Goodbye, Eddie.”

Then like that, he was gone.

[lobsters-on-their-heads]

A little drinking game

Takes place after Helena’s baby shower.  This assumes that the conversation in “Talk to Me” happened, but you don’t need to read that story to understand this one.  Also posted here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11829417 

“Dude, are these screwdrivers?”  Cosima picked up one of the tall glasses from Alison’s coffee table.  Beside her on the couch, Delphine did the same.  

“Yes, but don’t drink any now,” Donnie said.  “We’re going to play a little game, so you might not wanna get too drunk too early.” 

Sitting cross-legged in a chair next to Colin, Felix snorted.  “Look at the people here, Donnie.  Do we look like an inexperienced bunch?”

Donnie looked around the living room.  On the other side of Felix, Adele was working her way through another bottle of wine, and beside her, Alison had just returned with a tray full of snacks.  Next to Donnie’s chair, Sarah smirked and propped her feet on the coffee table, careful not to upset any beverages.  She and Donnie had just brought some extra chairs in from outside, and Helena draped herself over the ottoman again, the baby monitor flopping on the front of her overalls.  Every so often a soft gurgle came from the monitor.  Upstairs, Kira, Charlotte, Gemma, and Oscar were all in bed, lulled off to sleep by Adele’s tipsy rendition of The Big Friendly Giant while Helena had read the sisters her own story.   Hell-wizard had left with Arthur and Maya earlier in the evening.

Sitting on the couch to Delphine’s right, Scott giggled and eyed his cocktail.  “Well...” he said.

“It’s okay, Scotty,” Cosima said.  “You can be the lightweight of the evening.”  She reached around her girlfriend to pat his knee in a way meant to reassure, but his grin slipped a bit.  

From his other side, Helena patted his other knee.  “Yes, Scott, we will take care of you when you are drunk.”   Since she was breastfeeding, she was the only one without alcohol.   Instead, Alison had made her some lightly-sweetened lemonade that Helena was obviously not crazy about.

In a few minutes, they explained the game to Helena, who’d never played before, and established some ground rules, and the game began.  It was decided that Colin, as the newest member of Clone Club, should start them off.  Felix batted his eyelashes at him.  “Make it a good one, darling.”

“Okay...”  Colin looked around the assembled group of clones and clone associates.  The sisters all looked at him with identically raised eyebrows.  “I guess, uh...  Well, never have I ever impersonated someone else.  How’s that?”

“Shiiiit!” Sarah laughed as all four of the sisters took their first drinks.  “That was easy!”

Cosima nodded appreciatively and raised her glass to Alison.  “Tasty, thank you, Alison.”  Beside her, Delphine cocked her head.  

“Which of them have you impersonated?” Delphine asked.  “And when?”

“Oh, just Alison.  For a, uh, an election thing she had to step out of for a minute.”

Felix chortled.  “And you gave the worst speech I’ve ever heard.  Delphine, make sure she never goes into politics, alright?  Or anything with public speaking, really.”  He popped a cracker with cheese into his mouth and nodded appreciatively.  “My turn now, is it?  Alright, let’s see.  Never have I ever....”  He rolled his head around and looked up at the ceiling.  There was not much Felix had never done, after all.  “...collapsed while performing publicly!” he announced finally, with a flourish.

Groaning, both Alison and Donnie took sips of their screwdrivers.  Alison had not initially wanted to partake, and Donnie had been hesitant, but pressure from Sarah and Felix’s, combined with Cosima’s assurances that no one would leave the house or be in any danger, convinced them to drink along.  Now, Adele reached over and tipped Alison’s glass up to pour more into Alison’s mouth, and Sarah followed suit with Donnie.  

“You’re two for two, Alison!” Adele crowed.  “Shit, it’s my turn, though, isn’t it?  God, what haven’t I done?  Other than collapse while performing publicly, which, by the way, I really want to hear more about some time!  Oh, gosh.”  She looked around the room for ideas, her eyes finally resting on Colin.  “Here we go.  Never have I ever performed an autopsy.  How’s that?”

With a sigh, Colin, Cosima, and Delphine all drank to that.  Adele’s head swiveled around to the couch.  “Why am I not surprised?” 

Scott raised his glass halfway to his mouth and paused.  “Do you mean, like, a full autopsy?” he asked.  “Or...”

“Just drink, Scotty,” Cosima told him.  “Autopsying a brain is close enough for this game.”

Next it was Alison’s turn.  She pushed back a lock of purple streaked hair and considered her slightly depleted screwdriver.  Looking pointedly at Felix, she said, “Never have I ever dressed in drag.”

No one was surprised when Felix drank to that, but a few eyebrows went up for Cosima.  

“What is this drag?” Helena asked.

“It’s when you dress up like the opposite sex,” Sarah explained.

Cosima nodded and gestured with her free hand.  “But, like, in kind of an exaggerated way.  So, like, just wearing pants doesn’t count.”

“Oh.”  A tiny cry emanated from the baby monitor, but faded before Helena could get up from the ottoman.  “Donnie Hendrik,” she said, “is your turn for never have I ever.”

Donnie shifted in his chair and fidgeted with his glass.  “I don’t think I’ve played this game with such an experienced and eclectic group of people,” he said.  

“Don’t worry about that,” Sarah told him.  “The point is to get other people pissing drunk as fast as possible.  You’ve ac

“Right.”  He looked at everyone’s drink levels and noted that Adele’s was still, miraculously, full.  “Never have I ever... been to Geneva!”  He grinned while Adele, Felix, and Delphine all drank and Alison rolled her eyes.

“Really, Donnie, is that the best you can come up with?”

“What?  What’s wrong with never going to Geneva?”

For her turn, Sarah sat up straight and took her feet from the coffee table with a grin.  Without hesitation, she said, “Never have I ever stolen a parade float.”

“That is oddly specific,” Cosima noted, even as Felix tossed his hair and took a drink.  “When did you steal a parade float?”

“High school.  It was worth it.”

For Helena’s turn, she looked around the group and changed her facial expression for everyone present, taking just long enough to make everyone uncomfortable.  When she began, she spoke slowly, each syllable bouncing like a ball dropped from a high place.  “Never have I ever.... sold drugs.”

“Well, shit.”  Felix and Alison spoke in unison and both of them, plus Donnie, Sarah, and Adele all drank.  Felix swirled around his screwdriver, now only two-thirds full.  “This is really not my round, is it?  Well, Scotty, you’re up!  Let’s see if you can make everyone here take a drink.”

Scott giggled again and looked down at his hands.  Setting his jaw, he said, “Never have I ever had sex with a man?”  It should have been a statement, but his voice turned up at the end like a question.  Around the table, everyone except Donnie and Scott took a drink.

“Cosima,” Alison said, spluttering a little on her drink, “I thought you were a....”

“Hey, I had an experimental phase, okay?  Gold stars are for losers anyways.”  She tucked her head onto Delphine’s shoulder, one hand already resting on her thigh.

With everyone’s attention on her now, Delphine looked over at Cosima.  Delphine licked her lips and smiled, making Cosima take a deep, preparatory breath.  

“I love you,” Cosima reminded her, batting her eyelashes.

“Never have I ever done hallucinogenic mushrooms,” Delphine said after a pause.

Cosima blinked several times and drank with a smile, along with Felix, Adele, and Sarah.  “That wasn’t nearly as bad as it could’ve been.  Hey, Alison, is there some reason you’re not drinking right now?”

“Hm?”  Alison had been looking off in the distance, playing with the strings on her top.  Now, under the wide, knowing eyes of both Cosima and her husband, Alison gave something between a squeak and a bleat.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit.  I remember the first time we met.”

Donnie coughed pointedly, then drew his eyebrows together.  “Wait, you met Cosima that night?  Or did you do mushrooms a different time, too?”

Alison let out a violent sigh and raised her glass, muttering something about Jesus Christ and cupcakes.  After drinking, she adjusted her posture and her skirt.  “No, no, that was the same night.”

And then it was Cosima’s turn.  Cosima grinned with all of her teeth and reached out her arms until both of her shoulders popped.  “Never have I ever met Krystal Goderich,” she said.

As Felix, Delphine, Donnie, and Scott drank, Sarah stared at her.  “What, never?  How’ve you managed that?  Krystal’s a force of fucking nature.”

Cosima shrugged.  

“Might be for the best,” Felix suggested.  “She’s attacked most of us.”

“You gave her the cure, I thought?” Helena said.  “You gave the cure to all sestras.”

“Scotty gave Krystal the cure, actually.  I was in Cleveland with Tony that weekend.”

The game had circled back around the Colin, who sat quietly with Felix’s arm around his shoulders.  Colin had only been with all the clones like this once before, shortly after the gallery opening when Felix spilled the beans about why they all looked the same.  Along with Scott, Helena, and Donnie, Colin’s glass was nearly full.  Felix’s glass, on the other hand, was almost half empty.  Considering his options, Colin made a series of faces, finally settling on “Never have I ever given oral sex to a woman,” spoken with crisp precision.

That time, the only two drinking were Cosima and Delphine, who wore matching grins as they drank.  Beside them on the couch, Scott blushed crimson.  

“Wait, hang on - just a minute now-”  Adele and Sarah spoke over each other, looking at Donnie and Alison.  

“You’ve never-” Adele began.

“Donnie, really?” Sarah added.  

Donnie shrank back into his chair, his hands clutched between his knees.  “What?” he said, even though his face clearly showed he knew what.

“Alison,” Felix gently offered, “are we really finding out now that your husband has never, ever gone down on you?”

“Well, it’s...” Now Alison looked just as nervous as Donnie.  “It’s just never come up, that’s all.  We do... other things.  Together.”

“Do you give him blowjobs, though?” Sarah demanded.

Both Hendrixes flushed red, but after a moment Alison nodded once.  “Sometimes, yes.”

“Well, a’right then!  Donnie, return the favor, not right this second, please, but later, and give your wife some fucking head.  Okay?  She’s fuckin’ earned it.”

Donnie opened his mouth with a retort, but saw that the room was against him, and Alison wasn’t exactly backing him up anymore, and he closed it again, opting instead for a deep sigh.  “I mean, I guess if she wants me to...”

“It’s a lot of fun,” Delphine chimed in, about a third of the way into her own screwdriver.  Looking at Alison, she added, “And since you and Cosima have essentially the same biology, your bodies should respond to oral stimulation the same way, so I’m sure that--”

Cosima squeezed Delphine’s thigh.  “You can stop right there, babe.”

“Well, on that thoroughly unpleasant note,” Felix said, “I see that some of you have almost full glasses.  There’s no point in getting Helena to drink, but the rest of you need to catch up.  Never have I ever been to university.  There.”

Everyone except Helena and Sarah drank for that one.  The twins patted each other in solidarity.  “It is okay, sestra,” Helena said.  “We have each other, we don’t need university.”

“Oh, shit, is it my turn again?”  Adele was swaying on her chair, despite her average performance at the game.  “I’m gonna pick on Helena.  Never have I ever skinned a wild animal.”

Helena sipped her lemonade.  “Is important skill.  I will show you how.”

Alison, her glass more than half full still, looked at the coffee table and carefully placed her hands on her lap for her turn.  “Never have I ever attempted to use someone else’s urine as my own.”

Adele drank immediately to that one, and Sarah followed suit after a moment, but Cosima stared at her until Alison looked up and made eye contact with her.  “Cosima?” Alison said.

“Yeah, fuck you.”  Cosima tossed back a mouthful of her screwdriver and put it back on the coffee table with a clunk.  Both Scott and Delphine watched her, heads cocked to the side.

“Hey, you’re not saying you faked your urinalysis at Dyad?” Scott asked.  “Are you?”

Cosima held up one finger at both of them.  “No.  All the urine I ever gave you was my own.”

“But you attempted,” Alison said.

“And you refused.”

A few seats to her right, Sarah laughed.  “Cos, did you seriously try to use Alison’s piss as your own?  Do you know how many drugs Alison uses?”

“Used!” Alison snapped.  “Past tense, thank you.”

“That wasn’t the point.”  Cosima held her forehead in her hand, pointedly avoiding Delphine’s gaze.  “It’s Donnie’s turn now.  Donnie?”

“You know,” Delphine said, “we would have known it wasn’t yours if the sample didn’t have any THC in it.  That would have aroused some suspicion.  Not to mention, your other medications would have shown up only in your urine, not Alison’s.”

“Yeah, well, Alison never gave me her pee anyway, so let’s just move on, okay?  Donnie, please.”

“Okay...”  Donnie looked from Cosima to his wife and shook his head to clear it.  “This is getting kind of difficult.  Um... Never have I ever.... no, wait, that’s a bad one.  Hang on.”  He mumbled under his breath and counted something on his fingers while the others waited.  Helena started humming a little song.  Finally, he put his hands down.  “Okay.  Never have I ever met Rachel Duncan.  There.”

“Wow, really?” Cosima said.  Her glass now matched Felix’s as the lowest in the room, and each time she put the glass down, the thunk was a little harder.  “I thought everyone’d met Rachel.”

Scott, despite being less than a third into his own drink, was maintaining a steady pink undertone in his face and neck.  “Yeah, well, she was out of commission for a while, wasn’t she?”

Sarah, like Felix, showed no signs of inebriation as her turn came.  Cosima dropped her head back onto Delphine’s shoulder and eyed her sister.  “Please be kind, Sarah.  Please pick something I haven’t done.”

Delphine put her arm around her shoulders and smirked down at her.  “Are you afraid of losing, chérie?”

“I wasn’t at first, but I’m starting to be.”

“Alright.”  Sarah rubbed her palms together.  “Never have I ever been to rehab.  Like, as a patient or whatever.”

Alison and Adele both drank to that, Adele with a smile and Alison with a death stare towards Sarah.  “I will get you back for that, sestra,” Alison warned.  “Just you wait.”

“I will avenge you, sestra Alison.  Do not worry.”  Helena adjusted her position on the ottoman.  “Never have I ever had sex with my boss.”

Sarah looked over from her chair.  “Who the fuck told you that, then?”

“Sestra Felix told me.”

Felix, in the midst of taking his own drink, shrugged and refused to look apologetic.  Delphine and Cosima both drank, earning them looks from a few people,  including Adele, who was tied for second place along with Delphine.  “You two?” Adele spluttered.  “I did not see that coming.”

Cosima belched and excused herself.  “Well, Delphine was my boss, so...”

“Yeah, okay, but Delphine?  Girl, you are chock full of surprises, aren’t you?  You know, back in Geneva I thought you were, like, this all-business-all-the-time bitch, like probably a total ice queen.  Completely wrong first impression there, huh?”

Delphine arched an eyebrow, and Cosima giggled.  “Yeah, completely wrong.  She just acts the part really, really well.”  

It was Scott’s turn again.  He fiddled with his glass and drew lines in the condensation around the sides.  “Okay.  Never have I ever been arrested, I guess.”

Colin, Felix, Adele, Donnie, and Sarah all drank, making faces in various shades of shame.  “Wait,” Alison said, “do you mean legitimately arrested?  Or does any kind of blackbagging count?”

“Uhh...”

“Legitimate arrests only,” Felix said.  “It’s only really an arrest if it’s the police doing it and they read you your rights.  Otherwise it kidnapping or assault or whatever.”

“Oh, good.”  Alison put her drink back down.  It was half empty.  “You know, Delphine,” she said, “speaking of blackbagging, we were all totally convinced, for the longest time, that you were going to blackbag Cosima and stuff her in the back of an SUV, and we’d never see her again.”

If Delphine was surprised, she didn’t show it.  “Were you?”  

Beside her, Cosima nodded.  “Yeah, every time I talked to Sarah or Alison they told me to stay away from you.  From, like, the first day we met until the day I had my seizure.”

“Yeah, I might’ve told her the same thing,” Felix added.  “Sorry.”

Cosima gave her girlfriend a sweet smile, her cheeks flushed from the vodka.  “I’m glad I didn’t listen.”

On the other side of Delphine, Scott just shrugged.  “She never asked for my opinion.”

“Yeah, but you were the one telling me to trust Delphine when she was all HBIC at Dyad, remember?” Cosima said.  “You gave me your opinion even if I didn’t ask you for it.”

“HBIC?  What is this?” Helena asked.  

Some of the others snickered or looked down at their drinks, but Sarah grinned, and Donnie looked confused.  “Yeah, I don’t think I’m familiar with that, either.  Was that, like, a rank at Dyad?  You were the director there, weren’t you?”

Felix chimed in with the definition.  “It means Head Bitch in Charge, Donnie.  And believe me, she totally was.  Straight hair and everything.”

“Oh.  Oh!”  

As Donnie realized that Cosima had just called her girlfriend a bitch, Delphine tossed her hair over her shoulder and ran one finger under Cosima’s jawline.  Smiling, she said, “Yes, chérie, I’m glad you didn’t listen to your sisters when they told you not to trust me.  I simply cannot imagine what it would be like to be mistrusted by you.”

Cosima leaned back against her and propped her bare feet on the coffee table.  “Bitch.”

“Hmm.  Apparently.  And it’s my turn, too.  Let’s see.”  She trailed her fingers along the underside of Cosima’s chin, down her throat, around her ear, and across her cheek, staring at their knees pressed together side-by-side.  

“Do your worst,” Cosima said.  “I can take it.”

Delphine snorted.  “Alright.  Never have I ever fallen off the bed during sex.”

“That’s your worst?!”  Cosima took a drink, slopping some liquid onto her chin in the process and swearing.  Beside her, Colin took a sip of his own drink, drawing a smirk from Felix.  “Weak sauce.  How’s this - never have I ever stopped having sex, in the middle of it, to take a forty-five minute phone call.”

Delphine drank alone to that one, raising a long middle finger in Cosima’s direction as she did so.  

“I think I’m learning too much about you two’s sex life,” Alison commented.

Adele shook her head.  “I don’t think I’m learning enough.  I still want to know about this boss Delphine slept with.  Was it your boss at Dyad, or somewhere else?”

Delphine dabbed some juice from her lower lip and raised an index finger while Cosima giggled at her.  “First of all, that forty-five minute phone call, Cosima, was with our contact in Kuwait, and if I hadn’t taken that call, Neolution might still be around.  You are welcome.  Second of all-”  She turned to Adele and paused.  “-yes.  Colin, it’s your turn, please.”

Colin, less than halfway through his drink, considered his options.  Donnie and Scott were more or less tied with him, and Helen had barely touched her lemonade.  In fact, her glass was farther away from her than when it started.  Everyone else aside from them had drunk more than he had.  

“Pick on Helena,” Sarah said.  “She’s almost full over here, and she’s done loads of stuff.”

Helena gave Colin one her sideways smiles.  He sucked in a sharp breath.  “Yeah, but doesn’t most of that stuff fall under the Things We Won’t Talk About rules we established in the beginning?  I mean, from what Felix told me...”  He blushed then, looking to his boyfriend from backup.  

“Yes, I have killed people,” Helena said.  “But I have done more than that, also.”

That did not seem to make Colin feel any better.  He took a few more deep breaths before Felix leaned over and whispered into his ear.  

“Hang on, isn’t that cheating?” Donnie asked.

“Oh, whatever.”  Adele almost took another drink right then, but put her glass back down, remembering the game.  “How much of this stuff did you learn straight from the horse’s mouth, anyway?  It’s not like Helena’s gonna get too drunk to get home.”

Still, Colin looked skeptical.  He looked back to Felix a few times before venturing, “Never have I ever eaten scrambled eggs with strawberry jam on top.  And I’d like to keep it that way, I think.”

No one else was surprised when Helena drank to that, but a few of them gave Cosima strange looks when she did.  “What?” she asked.  “You’ve never gotten the munchies before?”

With that, Cosima surpassed Felix, leaving only a few drinks left in her glass, depending on how enthusiastic she got.  Felix noticed and gave her a sly smile.  “I have gotten the munchies, Miss Niehaus, but I have never, ever had sex in a laboratory.”

“God damnit, Felix.”  

When Cosima and Delphine both drank, Scott scrunched himself away from them.  “Really?  In our lab?”

They both laughed.  “Well, you weren’t there at the time,” Delphine said.

Felix didn’t miss that Colin drank, too.  “What?  And which laboratory have you had sex in, mister?  Don’t tell me it was the morgue.”

“No.  It was in school.  My first time, actually.”  A little smile played on Colin’s face, and Cosima reached her glass over to clink against his.  

Adele leaned over to see how little remained in Cosima’s glass and nodded to herself.  “Yup.  I think I’m gonna finish you off.  Should be easy considering it looks like there’s not much you haven’t done.”

“Well.”  Cosima held out her hand and started counting off on her fingers.  “We’ve gone through the clone thing, the gay thing, the straight thing, the drugs thing... what else?  Besides, it’s gotta be something you’ve never done, and- ”  Her sentence was interrupted by a hiccup and a cough.  “- I get the feeling you’ve done everything, too.”

“Well, I mean, I’ve never had sex in Felix’s bed, and apparently you two have, so there.”

Cosima froze with her fingers midair.  “You’ve got me there.  Shit.”

She drained her glass, plopping it back onto the coffee table as Delphine, Sarah, Felix, and Colin all drank along.  

“My goodness, Felix,” Alison commented.  “That’s quite a lot of people.”

“It is, isn’t it?

Helena grinned at him.  “What about your bed is so special, I wonder?  Is it the red sheets?”

“Maybe it is.  Alison, you’re up.  Try to bring your husband up to speed, maybe.”

Alison looked down at Donnie’s mostly full glass.  “Okay.  I’ve never watched porn.”

“WHAT?!”  In her shock, Cosima nearly fell off the couch, stopped only by Delphine’s arm around her.  “Jesus Christ, Alison, not even, like, hentai or anything?  Furniture porn?  Craft porn?  Nothing??”

In the laughter that followed, everyone drank except Cosima, who had no drink left.  Turning to Helena, Sarah asked, “Watched a lot of porn in the convent, then?”

“I did not watch in convent, no.”

Cosima wiggled back against Delphine’s side and wedged her hand between Delphine’s crossed legs.  “How are you not drunk?” she asked.  “You’ve almost had a full glass, too.”

“I’m French.  And you are small.”

The next two turns, though, managed to finish off Delphine, as well.  Donnie said he’d never ridden a horse, and Sarah, eyeing Delphine’s glass, said she’d never worked for Dyad, and then Delphine was done.  After both of their glasses were empty, Cosima and Delphine leaned back together, arms around each, and giggled at everyone else’s experiences or lack thereof.  After a few more turns, though, Cosima yawned and stretched, and Delphine said they should probably head back unless Alison had a place for them to crash for the night.  Alison did not, so they ordered an Uber back to the Rabbit Hole.  

“I’ll go with you,” Scott offered.  “Just to the shop, to make sure no one falls down the stairs or anything.”

“You are the best guy.”  Cosima stood, swaying a little on her feet, and put both hands on Scott’s shoulders.  “I’ll pay for your ride back to your apartment, too.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Come on.”

Felix and Colin ordered a separate car, leaving Sarah to sleep on the sofa and Helena in the garage with her babies.  Before she went to the garage, Helena saw Donnie looking ruefully down at his glass, still mostly full.  

“Do not worry, Donnie Hendrik,” she said.  “You will do more things one day.”

[illegiblewords]

Christ on a bike I finally understand what seems to be happening in Ergo Proxy.

I started re-watching it basically on a gut feeling that this is going to help me with one of my novels, and I’ve been paying attention real close after having leveled up a fuckton in weird psych, postmodern, and general culture knowledge. And I also am just better at being properly attentive now.

Things I have figured out:

1) The kid-robot Pino undergoes a wardrobe change after gaining sentience, and that in and of itself is nbd, but I was ??? about her hair going from brown to purple. She had a time gap and in an advanced world like the one she’s in lbr hair dye exists. That wasn’t a sentience-induced hair color change she prob just did it herself for rule of fun.

2) So I need to get farther to totally confirm but basically this story can be filed under “Reasons Postmodernism Is Hell”. Basically human beings fucked the planet and peaced out but made iirc a bunch of colonies full of artificially grown humans to keep the earth inhabited along with proxies and the whole point was more or less to see how long it took for the earth to be habitable again. Proxy One is str8 up first proxy and hella salty about this deal and basically knows he is an artificial and super advanced biological life form born of humanity and responsible for cleaning up humanity’s mess, but doomed to die once things are rendered survivable because of genetic programming. So he takes up the role of creator himself and makes Ergo Proxy in his own image but perfected and without the shortcomings other proxies have that would have made him die upon achieving success. Ergo Proxy made Romdeau but fell in love with Monad Proxy over in Mosk and full on abandoned his city, and I thiiiiink what happened next was that Romdeau went to war with Mosk to get him back because Proxies are fucking important to cities not dying. There was trauma all around surrounding this and his own nature and amnesia happened for Ergo Proxy and Vincent ended up being created by a split in his psyche. Ergo Proxy is actually like thousands of years old or something, Vincent’s amnesia is just super hardcore.

3) Immigrants happened in Romdeau after Mosk was defeated. My big question in the past was logistically what is the deal with immunity to the outside world vs susceptibility to disease etc. etc. and how did the immigrants happen at all. I think probably the whole immigrant population came from Mosk and also probably Ergo Proxy went into Mosk dome when he created his identity as Vincent. As Ergo Proxy, in that form, he would not have been vulnerable to the outside world but in Vincent form he is. So basically Vincent in his squishy human body had no immunity to shit. Also probably there was insane transporting of immigrants from Mosk to Romdeau after the war. EDIT: In Vincent’s flashback he shows himself and other immigrants walking outside but Vincent’s memory is shit so either there is stuff in Romdeau itself that causes poor reactions with the outside air through prolonged exposure or else Vincent just has absolute shit memory. Latter is more likely.

4) Also Monad Proxy was snatched up from Mosk at the time but she didn’t have a complete identity crisis had bonus memories she willingly took from Ergo Proxy in addition to her own/was in a coma/was a full-blood proxy as opposed to a fake-proxy (this is where the postmodernism hell comes in, Vincent is a copy of a copy of humanity but the goal in his creation was for him to be closer to human tbh) and she got experimented on in Romdeau and the people in Romdeau tried to clone her but ended up with basically a human in Re-L. Re-L is listed as being 19. We know with REAL that age acceleration technology exists and some form of intelligence implantation, or else Re-L just has weird proxy fast-learning brain or something. This point is basically that shit happened, we know Daedalus has videos of Re-L as a tiny he watches sometimes, who the heck even knows at this point what happened with Re-L’s actual timeline lifespan and Vincent’s experiences between Mosk and Romdeau but there are a few plausible ways it could have gone down so leave it be.

4.5) Daedalus was created specifically to run the proxy project and watch over Re-L. I think he probably is the same age as her roughly for that reason. Vincent saw Re-L when he entered Romdeau to get work. Therefore either it took a weird long time for Vincent to enter Romdeau, like almost two decades during which he did not age and was in a dissociative fugue more or less, or else Re-L and Daedalus had rapid aging. I do not have a clue which is more likely at this point.

5) The way Ergo Proxy is said in the last line makes grammatical sense and the whole thing being a tie to postmoderism also makes sense so this is acceptably not fancy garbage latin/english/greek/idek dudes. Also though postmodernism is spiritual death and doom and shit and Vincent is like postmodernism incarnate that just went fuck this I want to tap reality.

6) Autoreives existing and being robots and all and having the ability to reach sentience and praying upon reaching sentience foreshadow that basically even things that become heavily derivative can still strive for truth and spirituality and reality and shit also I think there’s additional religious subtext in the whole “humans in image of god, robots and proxies in image of man, Vincent and Re-L in the image of proxies”. I think it might be showing that the ultimate connectivity and spirit of the divine still echoes through all of it if we’re getting religious here but I mean they got so much religious imagery in the show anyway so lbr.

7) I think there might also be some kind of Adam/Eve thing with how Vincent and Re-L work metaphysically but I’m not touching that right now and frankly it’s a scary analysis for a show full of scary analysis. Seriously I swear to god this concept must have been made by sadists or masochists or something holy shit this is like clone saga in spider-man if it was done by intelligent people on purpose to make a statement.

8) Point of the story and all the Jung and shit is that this is a world that literally went through a postmodern apocalypse and a pair of the most postmodern bullshit copies of humans go out together and actually try and succeed in tapping into the primal collective unconscious and powerful storytelling/instinctive/psychological truths that had been so disregarded by the original humans. They manage to become real where the original humans had become fake.

THINGS MY COLLEGE DEGREE WAS GOOD FOR BASICALLY. Jesus christ though holy fuck I was not equipped when I tried to do this years ago. I managed to grasp it now and I still love and respect it massively, it still mah fave, but fuck dudes what a headache.

[shakespeareanhoneybadgers]

Pack of Orphans, Chapter 2

Fic summary: Orphan Black AU. Gary Schofield's life changes when he witnesses a man who looks exactly like him commit suicide and decides to don his identity. He is soon drawn into a vast network with science and the supernatural competing against each other for answers to a decades old experiment. Ao3.

Rating: M

He couldn't stop staring at Not Lacey as they fled the scene of the crime. Put more make-up on her, change her outfit and she’d look closer to Lace than he did to Danny. But her tells were different; Lacey would be drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, not picking at the material of it.

“I can’t believe he’s dead.”

He glanced up at Belle’s face. She looked as pale as he felt, staring blankly at the road ahead as she put distance between them and the scene. Her head shook slightly.

“I mean, we just saw him this afternoon… Tried to calm him down about Danny not returning any calls, assured him we’d check on him if he didn’t respond soon...” She turned to him, “So does that make you Gary Schofield?”

“Gaz but yeah.” He raked his fingers through his hair, “So what, you just decided to check in and that’s why you witnessed the bloody Rocky Horror Picture Show?”

“I figured Begbie would do something dramatic.” She shook her head incredulously, “Did I know the hitman was going to be there? Of course not, we didn’t even know he was in London.”

“Back?” Gaz echoed, “Hitman? What the fuck is going on?”

“Your guess is as good as any of ours.” They were starting to head out of the heart of the city now, towards the suburbs, “We figure the organization is sending someone after all of you to either terminate the experiment or get rid of the evidence it occurred...both’s possible too I suppose.”

“A fucking experiment?!”

“Please, Gaz, we’ll get you up to speed with what little we know,” she assured him, casting him sympathetic glances when she could spare the attention from the road, “A lot is still speculation… And I think it’ll be better to sit down and talk it out rather than continuing to give you half answers as we speed away from a homicide.”

“Fine.” He turned around in his seat, staring back behind them. He didn’t know if that maniac had a car but damned if he wasn’t at least going to keep an eye out, “...but how the hell do you know Lacey? Is she part of this too?”

Belle sighed, “She’s not… But apparently she didn’t tell you about me.”

    They drove on in silence and he watched the buildings climb up the income ladder. By the time Belle pulled into the driveway of a house, it was in the not-even-in-his-dreams price bracket. He followed her up the path to a porch worthy of lazy summer lounging, stepping into a foyer that automatically made him feel like he should be taking off his shoes and avoiding touching anything.

“Nick?”

“We’re in here.” Belle’s voice echoed from nearby. It took all of his Year One manners not to push Belle aside and lead himself into the living room.

    Lacey of all people was on the couch, legs crossed and arms spread over the back of it. Drink in hand she was watching a man standing next to a white board who, surprise surprise, looked like a scruffy older version of him. Lacey nearly spilled her drink as she got to her heels.

“Gaz!”

“It’s fine, I’m fine, this is…” He looked down at his clothes, thinking he should’ve made some attempt in the car to at least get his face cleaned up, “...not my blood.”

    The new doppleganger hardly paid him any mind, going straight for Belle. They embraced, her hand cradling his head and his splayed across her upper back.

“Nick…”

He pulled away, snapping, “What the hell were you doing?!”

“I was worried about Begbie pulling something...Begbie-esque, and he did. But he was right, it’s not Danny, Danny was the one who was killed by the train.” She gestured to Gaz, “This...is Gary Schofield. Gaz, this is my husband, Dr. Nicholas Rush.”

    The other man finally took notice of him, though didn’t seem particularly impressed, “...so you’re Gaz.”

“Aye.”

    He contemplated him for a moment longer, “...glad I never went blonde.”

Belle shot him a warning look, before turning to the other woman, “Lacey, you didn’t tell him.” There was no accusation in her voice, just mild surprise.

The room quieted and Gaz felt more than saw Lacey tense, the grip on her glass tightening as her chin tilted up. She rolled her head as though she were working a kink out of her neck before turning to him.

“Yeah so, you know how I’ve told you as long as I’ve known you I don’t care about finding my bio family? Well...she found me.”

    Gaz stared at Lacey, feeling like he was looking at a stranger instead of his best friend, “...and you didn’t tell me?”

“You were kind of busy pretending to be a nightclub owner… And I was embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed?”

“Yeah, look at her, Miss I’m-Fucking-A-Rocket-Scientist,” Lacey jerked her head towards her.

“Professor of quantum physics, but close enough,” Belle brushed it off, “And tell me you wouldn’t be curious if you learned you were adopted and, when you went to search for your parents, you found out you had a sister.”

“No, because I’ve never been curious about my parents! They gave me up so clearly they didn’t think much about me.” She finished her drink and plopped back down on the couch, “Anyway it didn’t matter until now, because of this Twilight Zone shite...”

“Of course it mattered,” Gaz muttered, taking a seat beside her, “You matter to me, Lace… Always.”

“This is all very touching,” Nick drawled, “But unfortunately low on the agenda. You two can discuss lies of omission afterwards, but right now we need to patch together what happened at Devine’s joint and what we know so far about why we have all these familiar faces.”

“You’re going to want a drink,” Belle told Gaz, “What would you like?”

“Anything strong,” he said.

Lacey extended her glass and Belle stepped away, “I think you’ve had about enough.”

“I’ll let you know when I’ve had enough,” Lacey growled. Belle wasn’t dissuaded, touching Nick’s shoulder as she passed him by.

    Nicholas sized up his audience as she went into the kitchen, playing with the cap on his marker, “...what do you know about cloning?”

    Gaz was struck dumb by the question and Lacey shrugged, “They did it to a sheep in the mid-nineties. Everything else comes from sci-fi.”

“Aye, Dolly is the best known case of actual cloning, certainly not the last.” Nick’s eyes stayed on Gaz, trying to read him, “Us, for example… You, me, Devine, Begbie, MacAvoy, countless others. There’s a very good possibility that we’re all copies from one individual.”

“Bull shit,” Gaz spat, “If humans were being cloned we’d know about it. You can’t keep something like that a secret.”

“You’d be surprised,” Belle returned, offering him a glass of whiskey on the rocks, “I mean, Lacey and I are clones.”

“That’s different,” Lacey insisted, “I seriously doubt we grew in a test tube before being tossed.”

“You’re clones in the basic sense,” Nick defended, “Identical DNA, identical fingerprints… Natural cloning with one fertilized egg splitting in two. Given the age ranges between all of us,” he gestured between himself and Gaz, “...it’s very likely we’re of the...lab rat sort of cloning.”

Really it shouldn't be so much of a surprise; it wasn't a half bad explanation, and he didn't have any better theory. But still…

“...we’re older than the sheep, though.”

“Doesn't mean someone wasn't playing mad scientist in the basement.” Rush muttered, crossing his arms, “Truth is none of us know who made us. It was coincidence MacAvoy and Devine even crossed paths.”

“Danny was a little...well, neurotic,” Belle explained, “He enjoyed his conspiracy theories, so seeing someone who looked almost exactly like him gave him all sorts of ideas. Nick wasn’t difficult to find, being a professor...and I think we found Begbie through Danny’s network… And you through your criminal background.”

    It was the first time Gaz had seen the disgruntled academic smile, “Public indecency, eh?”

“Fuck off,” Gaz hissed.

“It was rehearsal that the police butted in on with no context,” Lacey insisted, “Anyway, so far there’s...five clones, two of which are dead.”

“That’s where the live headcount stands right now,” he agreed, “The death toll is...significantly higher.”

“Because of this...bloodhound hitman boogeymonster fellow?”

Gaz wasn’t reassured the way they shared a look before the older man answered.

“During our research we found some...unsettling news reports,” he said haltingly, “Family of four brutally murdered… Mother and kids shot, the father… They’ve only found bits and pieces of him.”

“Jesus Christ…” Gaz muttered. Lacey put her head in her hands.

“It’s a similar MO, but the victims are spread over countries,” Belle said, “Murdered loved ones, the majority of the body never found…”

“And when you went to look at their pictures they all looked like versions of the same guy,” Gaz finished. He shoved his hand into his pocket, pulling out Danny’s phone.

“What are you doing?” Nick barked.

“None of your fucking business!” He dialed the number without thinking, holding it to his ear.

           It rang and rang and rang until he got the answering machine. He dialed again and it rang and rang and-

“Who is this?”

           He had never been so grateful to hear that bastard Larry’s voice, “Nate and Mandy, they alright?”

“Gaz, is that you?”

“ARE NATE AND MANDY ALRIGHT?!”

           There was some mild shuffling, “We’re all asleep…or at least Mandy and I were. You on something?”

“Go check on Nate, please! Make sure he’s in his bed!”

“Sleep it off, will ya?” The line went dead.

           Gaz tossed the phone to the other side of the couch and jumped to his feet. Lacey was close behind.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” she insisted, grabbing for his arm.

           He shook her off, “I need to be sure!”

           She grabbed him by both shoulders, “Chill the fuck out.”

“It’s Nate, I’m not going to fucking chill until I know he’s alright!”

“Running over there in the middle of the night is going to make you look insane!”

“Your boy should be fine for now,” Rush said brusquely, “There’s a gap between his killings.”

“Yeah, well, that was before he saw two of us in the same place!”

    He tried to push by Lacey but she stood her ground; those heels must give her some advantage, he thought briefly, digging in  for leverage or something.

“Tomorrow,” she promised, “You heard Dr. Scientist; nothing will happen tonight. And you’re still covered in blood, which won’t go over well with any of them.”

    He looked between Lacey, Belle, and Dr. Rush and realized he wasn’t going fucking anywhere tonight. He eyed the older nerd version of himself.

“...you got anything I can change into, then?”

    Their bathroom could’ve been a studio apartment with a tub and toilet, and the shower was…awkward. Set into a corner with two glass walls, he felt like he was giving a bit of a show to whoever felt like coming in. But god did it feel good to get clean; the hot water even pushed Nate out of his mind temporarily.

           He should’ve expected how well the clothes would fit, but it was still eerie how it sagged in all the right places. As if they were only a few pounds between them.

           Clones… Like he was in some kind of sci-fi movie, an experiment gone wrong. This was too fucking weird for him… Having a guy look exactly like him was bad enough, but there was a whole swarm of them, and a hitman to boot.

           He had to convince Lacey that the best thing for them was to grab Nate and run. The scientist and his assistant wife could play the thriller game but Gaz didn’t want any part of it. He wasn’t the tiniest bit curious about any of this.

           When he came back to the living room Lacey was the only one there, lying face-up on the couch and swirling the ice around in her glass idly. He leaned on the back of the couch, bending down to look at her.

“You alright?”

           Her eyes moved from the ceiling to his face, “Pretty sure I’m still in shock.” She set the glass on the coffee table, propping herself up on her elbows, “…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Belle. Honestly I just don’t like thinking about it, you know?”

“I know.”

“I mean look at this shit,” she waved her hand around, “It’s ridiculous… I’m sure they earned it but still.”

           It was definitely a different lifestyle than they were used to.

“And where’d they go to?”

“I think they’re filling MacAvoy in on everything,” she eyed him, “…they’ve offered to let us stay what’s left of the night here.”

“You think I’m gonna sleep at all after that?”

“It’s a good drive back to Sheffield,” she sighed, “…and really, I don’t like the idea of just you and me against the clone serial killer. They seem like they’ve got a vague clue as to what’s going on, at least.”

That was pretty much the exact opposite of what he wanted… But if he wasn’t going to check on Nate, he might as well stay here.

“...sure,” he mumbled.

    First thing tomorrow morning though, they were heading back.

III

    The sleepy church on the outskirts of Middlesbrough was completely dark and silent, except for the quiet shuffle of feet across stone. Still dressed in his nightshift he moved towards the altar. He crossed himself and knelt before it, fumbling with the match before striking it and shakily lighting the candles.

“Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name…”

    He’d been asleep when the call had come. He had jolted upright and fumbled for the disposable cell phone they had given him, answering before he was capable of more than a garbled noise in greeting.

“Thy Kingdom come; Thy Will be done…”

    Begbie’s dead, Rush had announced, and he could hear sweet Belle in the background hissing at him. It was quick, he continued, ignoring her, bullet to the head, didn’t even know what hit him.

As if THAT were supposed to somehow comfort the fact another one of them had fallen victim to the serial killer.

“...on earth as it is in heaven. Give us…”

    We’ve got a new one, Gaz. He was pretending to be Danny; had no idea about any of this. Apparently if the hitman didn’t act first Begbie would’ve offed him.

“...give us this day our, our daily bread… and forgive us our trespasses…”

    He’s got a son, young-ish we think. You remember what it’s like at first; it’s all you can do just to wrap your head around it.

“...as we...forgive those who trespass against us. And, and lead us not into temptation but...deliver us...deliver us from evil.”

    Doesn’t help he got a firsthand look at what we’re dealing with. I think he’s getting out of the shower; Belle, love, you want to get the guest room ready?

“For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are Yours now and forever.”

    He looked up to the cross hanging behind the pulpit. Tears came to his eyes as the prayer remained open and as he thought about the last bottle he had on hand down in his quarters. It didn’t seem that long ago he had gone to a liquor store out of town, going to restock his “emergency supply”...and had literally run into Mr. Devine.

“...I’m so scared,” he whispered to it, shaking his head, “I know that everything is according to Your Plan...but I don’t want to die. I know there have been times I’ve thought about it, but I never truly meant it...”

    He had been on the road to sobriety before this had happened. Really he had just been looking for comfort of his own after having to give last rites to a long-time parishioner. But now… How could he be expected NOT to drink?

    His lip quivered, as the question that had been bothering him since Dr. Rush had theorized that they were clones spilled out.

“...does Begbie even have a soul to pray for? ...do I?”

    He stared at the cross but no divine miracle occurred; no angel descended with prophetic words. He didn’t even hear God’s voice inside of him the way he once had when he was called to ministry.

    Joseph was feeling the distinct difference between Mother Theresa’s insistence God would not give her more than she could handle...and Paul the Apostle saying God would not let them be tempted more than they could bear.

“...Lord, please protect me...and my brothers. Amen.”

[airoasis]

The Secret Society of the Illuminati

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/the-secret-society-of-the-illuminati/

The Secret Society of the Illuminati

– This week on BuzzFeed Unsolved we’re masking the Illuminati. Is is an actual thing? What the hell is it? – it is not a factor. – okay, process it with an open intellect, let’s get started. – best. – Shockingly, the Illuminati sincerely has an extraordinarily actual historical foundation. In 1776, in Bavaria, Germany, Adam Weishaupt, a German professor, prompted the superb of French philosophy. As a rule secularism and rational notion, decided to type an institution to shield these beliefs. Adam Weishaupt viewed becoming a member of the freemasons to help propagate his views however unfortunately, would not manage to pay for the admission cost. (laughter) So as an alternative, Weishaupt formed a secret group of his possess. He known as it, The Order of the Illuminati. I do not consider they met with the aid of the instruct tracks it used to be in general a basement, kinda like this. It was most likely whatever like this. – Yeah, well we will bet yeah. – I don’t know why i am holding that, k. The Illuminati had an anti-religious stance and concerned with the goals of self-capabilities, self-improvement, social reform and free concept.Naturally, conservatives viewed this a hazard to the church and by using the mid to late 1780s, the Illuminati used to be stopped and the energetic recruiting people into secret societies, was criminalized. Nevertheless, Weishaupt and the Illuminati would go Kobe in the fourth quarter. And continue to push on, persisting with meetings and finally spreading to France earlier than disappearing into obscurity. However, some individuals think, they survived. This is a part of an interview I had with an proficient.- good they believe that the core crew was fashioned back then and has evolve and so again in the 1920s, there have been some fascists who believed that the Illuminati had been a gaggle of Jews who controlled the sector. Right after World warfare II, extremist anti-communists believed that the Illuminati have been a gaggle of communists who managed the sector and most just lately the Illuminati conspiracy theorists believe that the Illuminati are a part of the new World Order.- Many humans feel the Illuminati seeked to make a dominant one world totalitarian govt, referred to as the brand new World Order. Correctly, in a 2013 countrywide ballot with the aid of public policy polling, 28 percentage of voters ballot feel within the probability of a brand new World Order. Some individuals suppose that the affect of the Illuminati and the brand new World Order, goes as high as the president of the united states. Here is an eerie clip from an historic George H.W. Bush speech when he used to be in workplace. – we’ve before us, the possibility to forge for ourselves and for future generations, a brand new World Order, an international with the guideline of regulation, now not the law of the jungles, governs the behavior of international locations, after we are successful and we will be able to be. We had an actual threat at this New World Order. An order in which a credible United nations can use its peacekeeping role to satisfy the promise and vision of the UN’s founders. – All this begs the question, what is the New World Order and what will it do? Assuming the Illuminati and the brand new World Order are one within the identical, let’s hop down the rabbit hole and take a appear at one of the most theories as to who’s in the New World Order.This primary conception is from a man named Mark Koernke. AKA "Mark from Michigan." A proper wing militia activist and propagandist who believes that the new World Order is made above the U.S. Govt, the UN and more than a few different businesses pushing an global agenda. He believes this institution will do away with American’s rights, type an all strong executive and put non-Illuminati contributors in camps run by using F.E.M.A. The 2d theory is from David Icke who believes that world leaders including Queen Elizabeth, President Barack Obama and the Clintons are honestly form transferring wizards. These lizard elite, are at the back of the freemasons and the Illuminati. The lizard race feeds off the human race and occasionally demands human sacrifices. Actually, the identical 2013 national poll photo an previous expose that four percentage of voters polled believe that, "Lizard humans manipulate our societies." The third theory is that the brand new World Order is hooked up to the anti-Christ considering that the Illuminati are Satanists.Pat Robertson, a conservative Christian wrote a book on the brand new World Order, that claims the crew is responsible for the French Revolution, the writing of the Communist Manifesto and the creation of the Federal Reserve, all in the service of creating, "a brand new order for the human race beneath the domination of Lucifer and his followers." The fourth idea is from Donald Marshall who believes that the Illuminati are killing celebrities and changing them with clones, used to brainwash society. I’m going to fuckin’ look it up right right here. – appear up Dolly the sheep. – alright first-class i will seem it up and did she begin off as just a little baby sheep? – sure. – whatever, ok, it appears there used to be a sheep clone. – Oh, apparently. – Purported famous person clones outed by means of web (mumbles), incorporate Beyonce, Eminem, Al Roker. And many more, but clone theorists additionally consider they’ve video evidence. – Marshall Mathers, some of you may comprehend him as Eminem however he is gonna join the Saturday night time crew with a tune intro commencing subsequent Saturday night but folks I wanna take you the world premier…Marshall are you k? – Yeah sorry– (laughter) are living television freaks me out somewhat bit. – good there you go, live television freaks him out a bit bit. – good, here’s Al Roker’s clip. Realize what she’s says, after which discover what his face goes to. – Why is that this a code phrase. – Some persons believe maybe it is like a trigger sequence the place his brain’s now receiving recommendations and being intellect manipulate. – Al Roker’s the Manchurian candidate and he’s gonna kill the president. – (laughs) Yeah. – Like they are saying in Catholic tuition, go away room for the holy ghost. (mystery track) – The expression he has on his face when he is frozen, is so fuckin’ funny to me, every time I watch it ‘reason I have no idea what it is, it can be like look. – you recognize what really, he looks like he just pooped his pants. (laughter) Who’s next? – this is Beyonce, incidentally, she did this for goodbye, I had to pace up the video.There she is going and then I fast forwarded the video here. She’s in some weird trance, I truely do not know what she’s doing. – She’s writing Lemonade in her head correct now. (laughter) – whether or not or now not individuals suppose this clone thought, many conspiracy theorists agree, that primary celebrities are within the Illuminati. They point at apparel picks and hand gestures. Often that of a pyramid, which is visible as an Illuminati symbol, as proof that designated celebrities are in the Illuminati. Beyonce and Jay-Z have been known to make a pyramid like symbol with their arms. Despite the fact that, this is additionally just like the emblem for Jay-Z’s label, Rockefeller files. – right (laughs). – however the flip on that, perhaps there is a rationale why he selected that image, see what I simply did there? – Yeah, you did it correct. – I did it.The title of their baby, Blue Ivy, has been interpreted to stand for, born living underneath evil, Illuminati’s very youngest. (laughter) – Wow, I can’t think they’d identify her anything with so apparent of a secret message in there. – nevertheless, both stars have denied their affiliation with the Illuminati in songs. Here’s a excerpt from Beyonce’s Formation, "Y’all haters corny with that Illuminati mess," and here is excert from Jay-Z’s verse in a song Free Mason, "I stated I was once robust, not that i’m a mason i am red scorching, i’m on my 1/3 six, but a satan i am no longer." other celebrities comprise Kanye West, who owns a necklace containing the emblem of the attention of Horus, which is related to the Illuminati and likewise obvious on the buck bill. Which by the way, the Fed, greenback bill, there it’s correct there, it is pretty apparent. Kayne’s interruption of Taylor Swift on the 2009 video track awards was said to be a method of initiating Taylor Swift into the Illuminati via humiliating or hazing her. However, here’s a quote from Kanye on the Illuminati, "i’m tired of men and women pinpointing musicians as the Illuminati. That’s ridiculous.We do not run anything; we’re celebrities." different celebrities which were accused of being within the Illuminati comprise woman Gaga, Rihanna, Madonna and Katy Perry simply to call a number of. She what you simply did. – Jesus Christ. (laughter) i am sorry Kobe. – The entire room is shaking correct now. Oh my God, I believe we just had an earthquake. – i’m sorry Kobe. – hold in intellect that it can be lovely convenient to make a claim that somebody is within the Illuminati. Hell, swiftly perusing my co-employee Quinta Brunson’s Instagram feed, I might see a couple of references to the Illuminati. – fairly? – just looking by means of the pics. Yeah, there’s even a snapshot the place i actually make the Rockefeller sign, in one among her portraits and it used to be rapidly called out by a remark, Illuminati verified. She additionally seems to be absent from her desk fairly traditionally. Perhaps to take care of Illuminati affairs. What if you’re within the Illuminati? – seem, i’m not in the Illuminati. – Wink. – i am not in the Illuminati, Quinta’s no longer within the Illuminati, you’ll be.- it’s lovely difficult to get into. And on that notice, i might prefer to point to a internet site called IlluminatiOfficial.Org and on that website, there may be a page referred to as join the Illuminati. An awfully interesting proposition certainly. So I reached out for an interview and here’s what I acquired again from their public members of the family director. Here is what the alleged Illuminati PR director wrote again based on my interview request, "unluckily contributors of the Illuminati aren’t currently on hand for on digital camera interviews." She also recounted, "there are numerous misconceptions about my client’s organization," and referred me to the website’s beliefs section. Which, is summary and quite exciting to claim the least however let’s consult with the professor an additional time. I assume the final question would be, what percent would you put on that the Illuminati is truely an actual factor. – good it used to be an actual factor, again in 1780 nevertheless it’s not a real thing anymore. I might say one hundred percent, it’s now not an actual thing. Many of the conspiracy theories make this loopy jump at some point, the place you’re following the path of evidence and it is smart and it is sensible and it makes sense and out of the blue, it’s crazy.- I would see an international where typically matters go past science or fact, that leap of faith is what you must make, to get to the reality. Might be that is just the loopy individual inside of me. (laughter) – i admire how you just out yourself as one of the crucial loopy men and women that she finds hard. – this is the thing, I saw the seem on her face after I mentioned that, she didn’t looked joyful. Am I gonna say outright the Illuminati is a real factor? No, i’m now not gonna say that but, is it possible? Yeah, it’s viable, why not? The fact that there might be some, all understanding institution beneath everything. – Are they Skyping, how are they assembly, the place are they assembly? They’re like, oh let’s simply meet in Toledo this yr (laughter) at the Radisson.- we have angered them once more. – Yeah. – do not talk about Toledo. (laughter) The factor i am pronouncing is, nothing’s unattainable. Typically you just gotta look at some thing with an open intellect, it’ll look crazy on the skin and i’ll admit, this all looks crazy. – So it is viable that there’s an institution centered by way of lizard folks, who most likely abduct and clone celebrities. – i’m no longer pronouncing pronouncing there may be lizard, ah fuck that’s what i’m saying. – Say lizard men and women out loud. – No. – Yeah. – No (laughs). – own it Ryan, say lizard people out loud. – We might sit down right here and speak about this all day but regardless, the existence of the Illuminati will stay unsolved.- well tell us in the comments if you happen to feel Ryan’s in the Illuminati ‘motive now i am sold. – (laughs) k. The good news is, you made it via this episode. The unhealthy news is, this is the last episode for this season of BuzzFeed Unsolved however, double excellent news, (laughs) Double excellent news. – Double excellent news is– – Double good information is there may be a new season children. And if i’m nonetheless alive in October, the new season will start. So hopefully i’ll see you there and i will be respiratory. If you happen to aren’t assassin and all of the persons that I’ve slided have not killed me, the Zodiac or the guys in Black or the Illuminati or of course, Quinta Brunson. .

[batterymonster2021]

The Secret Society of the Illuminati

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/the-secret-society-of-the-illuminati/

The Secret Society of the Illuminati

– This week on BuzzFeed Unsolved we’re masking the Illuminati. Is is an actual thing? What the hell is it? – it is not a factor. – okay, process it with an open intellect, let’s get started. – best. – Shockingly, the Illuminati sincerely has an extraordinarily actual historical foundation. In 1776, in Bavaria, Germany, Adam Weishaupt, a German professor, prompted the superb of French philosophy. As a rule secularism and rational notion, decided to type an institution to shield these beliefs. Adam Weishaupt viewed becoming a member of the freemasons to help propagate his views however unfortunately, would not manage to pay for the admission cost. (laughter) So as an alternative, Weishaupt formed a secret group of his possess. He known as it, The Order of the Illuminati. I do not consider they met with the aid of the instruct tracks it used to be in general a basement, kinda like this. It was most likely whatever like this. – Yeah, well we will bet yeah. – I don’t know why i am holding that, k. The Illuminati had an anti-religious stance and concerned with the goals of self-capabilities, self-improvement, social reform and free concept.Naturally, conservatives viewed this a hazard to the church and by using the mid to late 1780s, the Illuminati used to be stopped and the energetic recruiting people into secret societies, was criminalized. Nevertheless, Weishaupt and the Illuminati would go Kobe in the fourth quarter. And continue to push on, persisting with meetings and finally spreading to France earlier than disappearing into obscurity. However, some individuals think, they survived. This is a part of an interview I had with an proficient.- good they believe that the core crew was fashioned back then and has evolve and so again in the 1920s, there have been some fascists who believed that the Illuminati had been a gaggle of Jews who controlled the sector. Right after World warfare II, extremist anti-communists believed that the Illuminati have been a gaggle of communists who managed the sector and most just lately the Illuminati conspiracy theorists believe that the Illuminati are a part of the new World Order.- Many humans feel the Illuminati seeked to make a dominant one world totalitarian govt, referred to as the brand new World Order. Correctly, in a 2013 countrywide ballot with the aid of public policy polling, 28 percentage of voters ballot feel within the probability of a brand new World Order. Some individuals suppose that the affect of the Illuminati and the brand new World Order, goes as high as the president of the united states. Here is an eerie clip from an historic George H.W. Bush speech when he used to be in workplace. – we’ve before us, the possibility to forge for ourselves and for future generations, a brand new World Order, an international with the guideline of regulation, now not the law of the jungles, governs the behavior of international locations, after we are successful and we will be able to be. We had an actual threat at this New World Order. An order in which a credible United nations can use its peacekeeping role to satisfy the promise and vision of the UN’s founders. – All this begs the question, what is the New World Order and what will it do? Assuming the Illuminati and the brand new World Order are one within the identical, let’s hop down the rabbit hole and take a appear at one of the most theories as to who’s in the New World Order.This primary conception is from a man named Mark Koernke. AKA "Mark from Michigan." A proper wing militia activist and propagandist who believes that the new World Order is made above the U.S. Govt, the UN and more than a few different businesses pushing an global agenda. He believes this institution will do away with American’s rights, type an all strong executive and put non-Illuminati contributors in camps run by using F.E.M.A. The 2d theory is from David Icke who believes that world leaders including Queen Elizabeth, President Barack Obama and the Clintons are honestly form transferring wizards. These lizard elite, are at the back of the freemasons and the Illuminati. The lizard race feeds off the human race and occasionally demands human sacrifices. Actually, the identical 2013 national poll photo an previous expose that four percentage of voters polled believe that, "Lizard humans manipulate our societies." The third theory is that the brand new World Order is hooked up to the anti-Christ considering that the Illuminati are Satanists.Pat Robertson, a conservative Christian wrote a book on the brand new World Order, that claims the crew is responsible for the French Revolution, the writing of the Communist Manifesto and the creation of the Federal Reserve, all in the service of creating, "a brand new order for the human race beneath the domination of Lucifer and his followers." The fourth idea is from Donald Marshall who believes that the Illuminati are killing celebrities and changing them with clones, used to brainwash society. I’m going to fuckin’ look it up right right here. – appear up Dolly the sheep. – alright first-class i will seem it up and did she begin off as just a little baby sheep? – sure. – whatever, ok, it appears there used to be a sheep clone. – Oh, apparently. – Purported famous person clones outed by means of web (mumbles), incorporate Beyonce, Eminem, Al Roker. And many more, but clone theorists additionally consider they’ve video evidence. – Marshall Mathers, some of you may comprehend him as Eminem however he is gonna join the Saturday night time crew with a tune intro commencing subsequent Saturday night but folks I wanna take you the world premier…Marshall are you k? – Yeah sorry– (laughter) are living television freaks me out somewhat bit. – good there you go, live television freaks him out a bit bit. – good, here’s Al Roker’s clip. Realize what she’s says, after which discover what his face goes to. – Why is that this a code phrase. – Some persons believe maybe it is like a trigger sequence the place his brain’s now receiving recommendations and being intellect manipulate. – Al Roker’s the Manchurian candidate and he’s gonna kill the president. – (laughs) Yeah. – Like they are saying in Catholic tuition, go away room for the holy ghost. (mystery track) – The expression he has on his face when he is frozen, is so fuckin’ funny to me, every time I watch it ‘reason I have no idea what it is, it can be like look. – you recognize what really, he looks like he just pooped his pants. (laughter) Who’s next? – this is Beyonce, incidentally, she did this for goodbye, I had to pace up the video.There she is going and then I fast forwarded the video here. She’s in some weird trance, I truely do not know what she’s doing. – She’s writing Lemonade in her head correct now. (laughter) – whether or not or now not individuals suppose this clone thought, many conspiracy theorists agree, that primary celebrities are within the Illuminati. They point at apparel picks and hand gestures. Often that of a pyramid, which is visible as an Illuminati symbol, as proof that designated celebrities are in the Illuminati. Beyonce and Jay-Z have been known to make a pyramid like symbol with their arms. Despite the fact that, this is additionally just like the emblem for Jay-Z’s label, Rockefeller files. – right (laughs). – however the flip on that, perhaps there is a rationale why he selected that image, see what I simply did there? – Yeah, you did it correct. – I did it.The title of their baby, Blue Ivy, has been interpreted to stand for, born living underneath evil, Illuminati’s very youngest. (laughter) – Wow, I can’t think they’d identify her anything with so apparent of a secret message in there. – nevertheless, both stars have denied their affiliation with the Illuminati in songs. Here’s a excerpt from Beyonce’s Formation, "Y’all haters corny with that Illuminati mess," and here is excert from Jay-Z’s verse in a song Free Mason, "I stated I was once robust, not that i’m a mason i am red scorching, i’m on my 1/3 six, but a satan i am no longer." other celebrities comprise Kanye West, who owns a necklace containing the emblem of the attention of Horus, which is related to the Illuminati and likewise obvious on the buck bill. Which by the way, the Fed, greenback bill, there it’s correct there, it is pretty apparent. Kayne’s interruption of Taylor Swift on the 2009 video track awards was said to be a method of initiating Taylor Swift into the Illuminati via humiliating or hazing her. However, here’s a quote from Kanye on the Illuminati, "i’m tired of men and women pinpointing musicians as the Illuminati. That’s ridiculous.We do not run anything; we’re celebrities." different celebrities which were accused of being within the Illuminati comprise woman Gaga, Rihanna, Madonna and Katy Perry simply to call a number of. She what you simply did. – Jesus Christ. (laughter) i am sorry Kobe. – The entire room is shaking correct now. Oh my God, I believe we just had an earthquake. – i’m sorry Kobe. – hold in intellect that it can be lovely convenient to make a claim that somebody is within the Illuminati. Hell, swiftly perusing my co-employee Quinta Brunson’s Instagram feed, I might see a couple of references to the Illuminati. – fairly? – just looking by means of the pics. Yeah, there’s even a snapshot the place i actually make the Rockefeller sign, in one among her portraits and it used to be rapidly called out by a remark, Illuminati verified. She additionally seems to be absent from her desk fairly traditionally. Perhaps to take care of Illuminati affairs. What if you’re within the Illuminati? – seem, i’m not in the Illuminati. – Wink. – i am not in the Illuminati, Quinta’s no longer within the Illuminati, you’ll be.- it’s lovely difficult to get into. And on that notice, i might prefer to point to a internet site called IlluminatiOfficial.Org and on that website, there may be a page referred to as join the Illuminati. An awfully interesting proposition certainly. So I reached out for an interview and here’s what I acquired again from their public members of the family director. Here is what the alleged Illuminati PR director wrote again based on my interview request, "unluckily contributors of the Illuminati aren’t currently on hand for on digital camera interviews." She also recounted, "there are numerous misconceptions about my client’s organization," and referred me to the website’s beliefs section. Which, is summary and quite exciting to claim the least however let’s consult with the professor an additional time. I assume the final question would be, what percent would you put on that the Illuminati is truely an actual factor. – good it used to be an actual factor, again in 1780 nevertheless it’s not a real thing anymore. I might say one hundred percent, it’s now not an actual thing. Many of the conspiracy theories make this loopy jump at some point, the place you’re following the path of evidence and it is smart and it is sensible and it makes sense and out of the blue, it’s crazy.- I would see an international where typically matters go past science or fact, that leap of faith is what you must make, to get to the reality. Might be that is just the loopy individual inside of me. (laughter) – i admire how you just out yourself as one of the crucial loopy men and women that she finds hard. – this is the thing, I saw the seem on her face after I mentioned that, she didn’t looked joyful. Am I gonna say outright the Illuminati is a real factor? No, i’m now not gonna say that but, is it possible? Yeah, it’s viable, why not? The fact that there might be some, all understanding institution beneath everything. – Are they Skyping, how are they assembly, the place are they assembly? They’re like, oh let’s simply meet in Toledo this yr (laughter) at the Radisson.- we have angered them once more. – Yeah. – do not talk about Toledo. (laughter) The factor i am pronouncing is, nothing’s unattainable. Typically you just gotta look at some thing with an open intellect, it’ll look crazy on the skin and i’ll admit, this all looks crazy. – So it is viable that there’s an institution centered by way of lizard folks, who most likely abduct and clone celebrities. – i’m no longer pronouncing pronouncing there may be lizard, ah fuck that’s what i’m saying. – Say lizard men and women out loud. – No. – Yeah. – No (laughs). – own it Ryan, say lizard people out loud. – We might sit down right here and speak about this all day but regardless, the existence of the Illuminati will stay unsolved.- well tell us in the comments if you happen to feel Ryan’s in the Illuminati ‘motive now i am sold. – (laughs) k. The good news is, you made it via this episode. The unhealthy news is, this is the last episode for this season of BuzzFeed Unsolved however, double excellent news, (laughs) Double excellent news. – Double excellent news is– – Double good information is there may be a new season children. And if i’m nonetheless alive in October, the new season will start. So hopefully i’ll see you there and i will be respiratory. If you happen to aren’t assassin and all of the persons that I’ve slided have not killed me, the Zodiac or the guys in Black or the Illuminati or of course, Quinta Brunson. .